Pardon My Take - Brand New Dungeons and Dragons With Timm Woods And Nick Turani

Episode Date: February 14, 2025

The people's champ Timm Woods is back for a brand new campaign. Joined by Nick Turani, this quest is filled with twists and turns that will leave you speechless.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, it is Tim Woods with us and we're going back into the realm. We're going to do some Dungeons and Dragons. We are on vacation. Absolutely. Absolutely. So Nick is here. We've got Max, Hank, PFT and myself and Tim Woods bringing us on a great journey. One of the best ones we've done. Really good teamwork on this. Really'll be back on Monday with an episode with Rosillo but this is our once a year or twice a year Dungeon and Dragons vacation and it's Tim Woods. It's the best. So get excited to go into the land of Tim Woods. Land of Tim Woods. I can't remember what the name of the place is called. Narnia. Narnia. We're going to Narnia.

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Okay, let's go. Welcome to Part of My Take presented by DraftKings. Take it to the rack with DraftKings Sportsbook. Every point counts. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code TAKE. That's code TAKE for new customers. Get $150 in bonus bets when you bet just five bucks only on DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Friday, February 14th. Happy Valentine's Day boys.

Happy Valentine's Day. I love you guys. Love you guys. I love you guys. We don't say it enough. We don't. So Valentine's Day special treat. Tim Woods. We're going to be going off into the Dungeon and Dragons world with Tim Woods, Nick, Max, myself, PFT and Hank. Watch this on YouTube because the outfits that we rock. Please subscribe to the YouTube. Okay, let's kick it to ourselves with Tim Woods. We're brought to you by our friends at Chevy. Chevy has packed more capability into Silverado Trail Boss so you can pack more fun into your weekend. Have yourself a fri-ay, sat-ry-ay, and son-yay with the truck that says

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It is Dungeons & Dragons time. We have Tim Woods here. We're very excited to get back into our mission. If you are listening to this on the podcast, you can go watch the video because we have an incredible set. We're all dressed up. Let's go around the room just for our podcast listeners.

We'll start with Max. Max, Nick are both here. Max, why don't you say who you are and what you're dressed as. I am Hippo Maximus, the human druid, and I am dressed as Shredder from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle universe. Yes. Yeah.

That's awesome. I am Greg G-R-E-G, the human paladin, and I am dressed as shredder. Oh TmNT. Oh, wow. I am Wayne the hilldorf hill dwarf bard and Today imagine my surprise when I came up here and I'm also dressed as shredder. Oh shit We got three shredders that guy from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Yeah, I'm norm the human barbarian and We obviously didn't talk about this before because we should have planned better. I'm also shredder embarrassing at this point Yeah, and I'll complete the complete the five some I'm Ehrlich the gnome warlock

and I am Leonardo from I was excited to finish this mission together. This is the first time we made it two episodes and you know we really bonded last time and I was led astray before we stop us from bonding today. Yeah we're gonna let's all stay together. Well maybe let's give some context for the Ninja Turtles. Maybe they don't know the the lore. Yeah there's four Ninja Turtles. Yeah we got four costumes for Ninja Turtles. I think someone was gonna I think Max is gonna be April O'Neill. Uh, but accidentally we all, we all ended up being shredders who are, is the bad

guy. Nick actually texted me like a picture over the weekend, like an avatar. He's like, Oh, I got my costume all set. Yeah, it's like nice, but listen, we're all gonna stay together. Um, I think the number one rule is all stay together number two rule is shredders definitely stay together till the end. Yeah Yeah, it's not a rule might be number one Where the priority goes if you've ever watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shredder is in every episode the Ninja Turtles are in like every episode They never actually kill each other. Yeah, they mm-hmm they fight all right so Tim welcome back thanks for having me back it's good to be back it's awesome is that a horn I'm great this is my Ranger guard you can kind of think of a Ranger is I would say

like a medieval shredder a little bit I'm sure! I'm sure! I'm sure! I'm sure! Fuck yes! And as we pointed out, we did in our last session for the first time both get to the end of the

adventure for that day and no one had gotten killed so I don't know if that will hold up today or not but I'm very excited This is so stupid There's just so many shredders So I don't know if that will hold up today or not, but I'm very excited. I'm sure it will. Yeah. This is so stupid. There's just so many shredders. We did end things on a very exciting cliffhanger last time.

We did decide that we would do the extended version of the Forge of Fury adventure, where we completed level one. But now we are discovering there is more to the adventure. I don't expect anybody to remember anything from last time. It's been six months. I had to rewatch the episode, so I will give us some highlights of what happened last time. I first want to say that Norm the Barbarian, just a reminder, did go to the bar and chug the boot in record time.

That was a big part of the beginning of last time and won over the hearts and souls of all of the dwarves in the town of Blosingdale by setting a new record on chugging so big celebrity in town also just for clarification norm the barbarian aka shredder for absolutely Greg with two Absolutely. You're keeping score at home. Absolutely. Greg with 2G's The Paladin, I did want to remind you that you did get some good information and potions and stuff when you went to the local temple. You also did get a husband as well. You did put a wedding ring on the high priest. That was a completely accidental. It was a completely accidental. He was like, oops, we are married now. And he is now escorting you on your adventures. I promise that won't happen. No shit like that will happen again.

Definitely not. And it's not only that you're the high priest, who I'm naming Horn Grim. Horn Grim, your husband, is with you, as well as your moth. Don't forget, you have a big moth that you ride on. And I never asked a very important question. That moth gets a name at some point. So you can cook on that.

Or if you happen to have a suggestion. I was gonna say maybe Shredder? Shredder five. Shredder five. What about it? What about it? Little Shredder. Little Shredder?

Little Shredder? Wait, that sounds fucking sick. Little Shredder. Why do I think Shredder had a mini, okay, nevermind. Little Shredder is gonna be your noted moth 100%. I wanted to make sure we remembered that Wayne, we did meet your family, most notably your stepsister, who was revealed to be, in fact, not your biological sister, but your strep sister, but only after she slept with

the final boss of our last adventure, the ogre great elf. She got stuck in the window and then he had to get around. But I said, that'll happen, that'll happen. I've seen a lot of footage of that. Is that Shredette? That could certainly be Shredette. Let me just make a quick adjustment here. Shredette was what I picked.

That's so weird. That's so weird. Thank god it was, because I would've been pissed if she was in a shredder. Absolutely, that so perfectly works out. This is the dumbest thing ever, people are going to either hate it or love it. I mean, we're all shredders! My parents would be so upset if I brought home a not shredder.

Oh my god, yes, my grandfather would be rolling over in his grave. And you could burn him in the shredder! We won't share the same values that we have in our giant underground tank vehicle. And so we may run into your family again at some point, Wayne, in this adventure. Hippo Maximus, I wanted to remind you that you had acquired a valuable guide who helped lead us to the mountain. That was Big Don the Eagle, who I am sorry to say

did unfortunately die in their first round of combat after they rolled a one and immediately got one shot by an orc. I also want to extend apology, I watched the footage, I feel like I was gloating a little bit and having too much fun with that, but it was an epic way for Big Don the Eagle to go down and who knows you might be able to acquire some new animal companions in your adventure today and just a reminder you still have the ability to shape shift into different animal forms, your most important druid ability. And of course, Erlich, lest we forget, it was you who delivered the final fireball

that killed off the remaining orcs that we were fighting and revealed that the key had been picked up by like the old orc chieftain who had not wanted to give it to the big dumb ogre who is currently sleeping with the stepsister. And you had caught, thanks to some inspiration from Wayne the Key, we went over, we opened up the vault that held the valuable magic weapons in gold, including the mighty axe of the dwarven blacksmith,

Durgeddin, only to find the vault was completely empty. Instead, what we found was the empty vault and a secret door that had been dug up into the vault with a staircase that goes downward to level two of the Forge of Fury. And whoever dug that tunnel clearly has taken the treasure we came here for to lay claim to. Just a reminder also, everyone here is looking for the axe, but for very, very different reasons. Some of us can wield it. Some of us want to destroy the axe in order to harvest its power, but we have not yet decided who's going to get the axe at the end of the day. So that's what we're looking for. We know there's a staircase leading down deeper into the dungeon where these thieves, not that it was our axe really,

but they took it first, that we need to reclaim the treasure from. That's our end goal? Not related to any of that. If someone were to acquire this axe, is it like an immunity axe? Like you kind of can't die if you have it? It's not really an immunity axe,

though it does give you immense power for defeating people who might try to take the axe from you. I establish that both the paladin and barbarian can wield the axe, our dwarf and bard also being a dwarf can wield the axe, whereas you are maybe looking to take the axe, destroy it, harvest its power, and gain the power of a hundred souls, which would be very helpful for defeating anyone who is trying to kill you like, I't know a shredder or something like that. If any of us find the axe we share it amongst all of us. Definitely. All the shredders. We're like pizza. Like a piece of pizza. 100%. Max, I feel like your druid circle wants to get this axe.

We're trying to get the axe but surely it'll be very very dangerous to get there. Oh I would say that we don't know exactly who took this axe but they clearly brought it deeper into the dungeon where things get a lot more dangerous for certain. And speaking of danger, I will also say that when we notice that the sound has died down from the ogre's bedroom, and we kind of might even check in to see what's going on in there, the ogre and your stepsister are completely missing we do not see them anywhere it's as though someone has maybe kidnapped your stepsister perhaps it is unclear what has happened to them and you notice a bloodstain you look

under the bed the ogre is dead someone cut the ogre's throat and there are signs that you're there was some sort of a struggle here your sister appears to be missing So so someone cut the ogre's throat yes, does anyone here have a sword I? Don't seem to it sounds like gone girl. I've got a crossbow. No. No I'm saying physically I was I was getting the key oh You have a sword. Yeah, where were you getting the key from? I was I got a I got an alibi. Okay. I was up in the I was up in the vault. Why is there blood on your sword?

There's no okay. I will also say that as we're kind of pondering the staircase downward deeper into the dungeon, there is another character showing up. We had left a few orcs alive. There had been a shaman, a blood shaman, who like was no longer a threat or anything, but one orc opens up the door to where all the dead orcs in the barracks are that you had cooked with your fireball, and this individual immediately starts talking really loudly. They seem like a particularly weak and flimsy orc that we could defeat easily, but he starts loudly saying, oh, I smell in here. There's some kind of hamburgers. And he smells the bodies. No, not them. And he starts walking over to us. This orc just popped out of nowhere and he starts sniffing us. It's not hamburgers I smell. And he starts to smell Norm in particular. At this point, anybody can attack this guy,

but he's acting like we're not gonna do anything to him. And as he sniffs, he says, it's not hamburgers at all. I'm smelling sliders. My name's Poopy Stinks. Oh no! But I'm also part troll. And see, I can just smell sliders from pretty far away. Oh no! But I'm also part troll. And see, I can just smell sliders from pretty far away. I can smell the gods are favoring you all right now.

You're using sliders right now. The gods are making things pretty easy for you, I can tell. Watch, the shaman taught me some blood magic. He takes a little needle and kind of like hits his palm, drips a drop of blood onto the wall, and all of a sudden his blood starts to move around, writing on the wall. And it says in clear common tongue, player strength high. And then underneath it the word forms monster strength low.

And he points and says, you guys are using sliders right now All the other people doing this adventure have been playing it hard mode. Do you want to play it hard or easy mode? Is the audience gonna know if we choose to play it easy mode, uh, we do it before we start the stream they won't So we don't like sliders in theory theory, he's ready using sliders. We love sliders, we just like to change them before people can see. We just don't want people to know that we're doing sliders. Yeah. I want to play hard mode.

You gotta play hard teams. You gotta play hard teams to win. You touch where it says enemy difficulty easy and immediately it's the slider starts to move over and now it is set to hard. Can we all act surprised that we didn't know it was on low? Absolutely, 100%. Absolutely, yes. To be the man you gotta beat the man. Absolutely. And you feel like the mountain shudder just a little bit and he says,

all right, now you're playing without sliders well done well done I want to watch and poopy stinks is gonna be following us it seems deeper into the mountain and maybe occasionally like insulting our performance or something like that but at this point to see what order we are gonna be going in today I'm gonna ask everybody to roll their d20 the 20 sided die and I'm gonna be adding your dexterity bonuses to see what order our characters are gonna go in okay 17 early you have a plus two on this so that's a 19 total for Ehrlich to okay um you don't have advantage on this yet so unfortunately two plus one is just gonna be a three

for Norm. I got a 15. 15, and you have a plus three on this, I believe, actually, and so, you said 16? 15. 15, so that is now an 18 for Wayne, excellent. 17. 17, and you have a plus zero on this, I believe, so with a 17 you'll be going right after Wayne,

and that is Greg. And Hippo Maximus. 10. 10 for Hippo Maximus, that's a plus one. So you got an 11 total, Hippo Maximus. So, Erlich, you are actually gonna be going first today. Yeah, good. Yeah, very good.

Well done, Max. Leader, our leader. Just walk out in front of us, sir. We'll catch up in a second. Leader of the turtles, 100%. All right, Hank, good, good. Very good. Our leader. Just walk out in front of us, sir. We'll catch up in a second. Leader of the turtles, 100%. All right, Hank, your last turn. Make it count. So clearly, there is a staircase leading down deeper into the mountain, and you can even

make out dusty footprints that seem to indicate the thieves did go up and down these stairs. There's also an annoying orc slash troll named Poopy Stinks around and that's about all we're dealing with so far. What would you like to do? Can I uh, disguise myself? You certainly could. In fact, when we last saw you on our last adventure, you had been disguised as the orc archer who fell off the cliff when Wayne had been Tantalizing him along with a mixture of money and his stepsister as bait So you have definitely already been an orc disguise you can use another spell slot to switch to another disguise I would like to do that. What do you want to change into? Uh, let's go with shredder

A shredder suddenly appears where you had been standing Ehrlich. It's shredder looks massive and scary. You're a gnome. So this is sort of like you're inside of a big tent. It's like moving around with you, but this illusion is much bigger than you. And so you now look like shredder 100%. Big scary ninja Lord. Awesome time.

Absolutely. 100%. Hank, don't use the hard R if you're going to say shredder. Their word. 100% Hank don't use the hard R if you're gonna say shredder Certainly use your action to cast disguise I would even say maybe that's your bonus action Was there anything else you want to do on your turn? Currently we are just all shredders knowing you guys always tell who is what shredder Yeah, five shredders who could have seen us here You could certainly look down the stairs try to scout around see what you can see you could head down the stairs either sneakily or in

An obvious way and check out what's going on down there Or you could could I do a burning hands launch a cone of fire ahead of me you certainly smoke it However, the burning hands only goes about 15 feet and when you look down the stairs You don't see anybody within 15 feet though. There could be somebody who's invisible or something like that. It's totally up to you. All right, so I'll just do some, I'll just scout that. Absolutely, that would be a perception check. You want to roll a d20 plus your perception skill bonus if you have a perception skill

bonus. I don't think you do, so your wisdom modifier would just be a plus one here. 19. 19 plus one is a dirty 20 we would say and so with the dirty 20 you are neatly noticing what is at the bottom of these stairs they go about 20 feet down and they open into an octagonal room the stairs are heading down to the north and then once you get to the bottom of the stairs you can tell that straight ahead against the northern wall is a big dwarven statue holding two axes up in the air. He's kind of armored in a sort of way that looks

like a little bit like a ninja lord, like maybe like a shredder possibly. And then on the eastern side is another dwarven statue with a big axe. On the western side a third dwarven statue with a big axe. In between each statue there is a pair of doors. So double doors on the northwest and double doors on the northeast. Two sets of double doors with three statues interspersed between them. However, with a 20 you can tell one important detail. These doors are sealed and trapped in such a way that you know the statues have hinges on their like elbows or elbows and like shoulders. These axes will come down upon you if you try to open these doors. So you know that

before you even head down the stairs. These are two sets of trapped doors right now. Did you want to go try anything down there or? No, I think I'd like to keep that to myself. And maybe one of them will try and open one of the doors. Thank you for letting me know that. So none of us know the information I just said. And Erlich, great turn.

Wayne, that is now your turn. What would you like to do? OK, I'm not allowed to know about the statues You don't know about the statues yet. He hasn't said anything to you. Okay, but I'm thinking that if we go down these steps I'm interested to know what's in that room because it might be like where we can find the axe Absolutely like that so I'm gonna go I'm gonna go down these steps 100% go ahead and roll Well, you don't have to roll anything to go down the steps get down the steps you can immediately see three Dwarven statues you can see the doors just don't know

anything else about them got it would you like to examine them or I would like to I get the feeling like one of these statues might have an arm or maybe the head tips back and it opens up one of the doors like an old-school like trap door yeah speak easy on the other side. Absolutely. Dude, perfect candy room. Yeah. Can I go up to all the statues and just

move their heads around? 100%. Roll me a d20 plus your investigation skill. Do you have the investigation skill under skills by any chance? I use a skill. I have perception. Perception is what you can use then in that case. That's going to be You use a skill, I have perception. Perception is what you can use then in that case.

That's going to be better than whatever your investigation would have been. But I also have sleight of hand. Can I use my hands to make you out? I'd allow that 100%. Yes, definitely. All right. Seven. Seven.

Plus five. Plus five with a 12. You are trying to wiggle these statues. It's not working really right now, though. There's something about the arms that might move. I would let you try again if you want, but then if you don't succeed, you might be risking stuff. Like you could try to really push these statues

and take a risk on it. I don't think anything bad can happen. No. Totally. Okay, yeah, I'll try again. Absolutely, try one more time. Roll again. 18. 18 plus five. Roll again. 18.

18 plus five. Here's the thing. At the very last minute, as you're really trying to push the arm and all of a sudden it starts to shift, you're like, wait, wait, it's going to drop the axe on me. You don't do that. And instead you get to the top of the statue. And I like what you said about the head. So I'm going to say the trigger for this secret door that you just discovered was shifting the head.

As soon as you tilt the head, the eastern wall behind the eastern statue starts to slide open. It was a secret door. But not to a speakeasy, it seems like there's another staircase now going down to the east that opens up into a big dwarven hall kind of think Moria where the pillars seem to be disappearing into the distance you can tell that there is a big room down these stairs and you did not set off any traps congratulations nice now that was your action as a bonus action would you like to inspire any of your teammates yeah I'd love to inspire absolutely who's up next?

In theory, it would be Greg. Yeah, I'll inspire Greg. Absolutely. Let's talk Greg up. Gas up the boy. Absolutely. What do you say to gas him up? I just say, I scream down the hall,

my boy over there thinks you're cute. And I point at Greg. You shout that down the stairs? Is that right? OK, 100%. You kind of shout that. And Greg, you know whoever's down there, they're at the very least going to think

that you're probably cute. And so, Greg, that's down there there Going to think that you're probably cute and so You do notice that your husband the high priest horngram, I'm gonna roll to see how upset he is the higher I roll the more he heard that don't want to be upset to make him a little job He seems like he's he puts like the little like the horn up to his ear to try to hear what's going on He didn't hear that at all He also healed all of us for our wounds. He did a healer. He can we're all good. We're all at full hit points Yeah, okay, he laid his hands on the situation. Yeah You have the best touching husband. I want a gay divorce

You have the best touching husband. I want a gay divorce Absolutely he I do feel like he is agreeing that like your whole marriage ceremony was accidental But entirely legally binding so he's like it's unfortunately a multi-month process to go through Dorvin divorce court So it's going to take a while But we can we can get the process started and he kind of looks down a little sad if you if that's what you want do I have like some sort of like bracers on my hands gloves oh yeah I would say so probably they fit on them yeah I want to kill my partner oh my gosh you absolutely can if you want to do that he is looking rather sad and heartbroken and you have a sword that you could slay him with right now. You also have a lance you could have hit him with.

I want a lance back. Absolutely, 100%. So you told him you wanted a divorce. I've been lancing my husband. He's pretty upset about it. Do you get on your moth to charge him with the lance? I feel like that's only right. Absolutely.

Do you let him see it coming? No. Or do you just give him a mercy killing from behind? You never do. Roll a total of three times. You get one advantage because you're on your moth's back. You get another advantage because you're surprising him and I'll be honest he doesn't see it coming. So roll a d20 three times and take the highest result. Did you pick a name for the moth yet Nick? It is a little shredder. The little shredder. Eight so far. Unfortunately that might not be enough.

Twenty. Twenty! You can stop rolling. No better number than that. So I don't even need a dice roll for this. Even without smiting him, that is an insta-kill on High Priest Horngrim. You're now a widower. What a hundred percent.

Absolutely. And that widdles down our list of NPCs pretty nicely. Love it. Excellent. You've still got Little shredder of the moth and lest I forget, I also want to remind Norm the Barbarian You have Magnus Steeltoe, a dwarf who came from the bar to hang out with you He hasn't really but he escorted us to the mountain and now he's just having a good time drinking And I also just want to remind you because you may need to know that remember this Erlich You do have an imp last time

I forgot about your implola Lola may be the difference between life and death for you today So just a reminder, but Greg your husband is now dead. What would you like to do? Can I invest investigate the corpse that was left under the bed? Oh, yes You certainly could please roll for me either an insight skill check or perception, whichever skill you have. Do you have either of those? I have neither. Okay, then you would have a plus one from wisdom for investigating the crime scene here. Okay, so do I need to roll any?

Just roll a d20 and you're adding plus one, because you have either of those skills, just wisdom. 13 plus one. 13 plus one is a 14. You're gonna get one clue about this crime scene. What is the thing you want to know the most here? 13 plus one is a 14. You're gonna get one clue about this crime scene. What is the thing you wanna know the most here? What direction the killer escaped from? Ooh, interesting.

You are now noticing that somehow maybe while we were resting and getting healed by your late husband, you are noticing someone must have snuck out of the room and gone down the very stairs that we are now going down. So they're down here ahead of us. Whoever killed great Ulf and took the stepsister.

Really good stuff. Well good. Well done, Greg. Quick break from the Dungeons and Dragons to talk about getting in shape. Planet Fitness. Everybody can get strong at Planet Fitness, high value membership that supports any fitness journey as low as $15 a month. Planet Fitness has over 2,700 club locations with most clubs open 24 hours, judgment free

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That is gonna bring us to Hippo Max. Sorry for your loss. Next. I'm also sorry for your loss. Yeah, tragic. Thank you. So I'm gonna wanna check down those steps. 100% you can.

We've revealed the secret door. That was the big test in the first room. And now you can see down the stairs, it opens up into some multi-pillar big dwarven hall. But from the top of the stairs, we can't see the whole room. So you could go down the stairs. You can make a perception check from the top of the stairs.

You can do whatever you want. I wanna go right down those stairs. Are you going in human form or turning into an animal first? You might wanna see what's down there before you turn into an animal. Yeah, I would like I would like to Stay in human form for now that makes complete sense. So you start to go down the stairs Now I'll say I mean if you morph into something else already, how can you be trusted? In with like the rest of the crowd. Yeah, that's true.

Absolutely. Now this is an area where because we picked a different difficulty, the AWOs who have played this adventure would be expecting you to see something. When you get down to the bottom of the stairs, you see a dwarven hall with six pillars. There's a bunch of dwarves leading out of here. To the left, there's two doors on the northern wall. To the right, there's two doors on the southern wall. And then straight ahead on the eastern wall is a throne,

a big dwarven throne with a door behind that. Five different doors to pick from. And there's a bunch of beds in the middle of the floor, sleeping bags around a campfire, like somebody has been hunkering down in here and using this as like a base of operations, kind of, but you don't see anybody in this room, though when you listen, you think you hear someone,

but you don't see them. What would you like to do? Is there anything, is there anything that I could roll to try and get more wisdom of where they could be? Yes, absolutely. That would be a perception check. Do you have the perception skill by any chance?

I do not have the perception skill. Then you would have a plus three from your wisdom because you are a very wise character as a druid. So I'm rolling a d20. D20 plus three. Okay. That would be a 16. 16 plus 3 is a 19. Here's the first thing I'm going to tell you. You understand what's going on here. There are people in the room with you.

They are using magical invisibility, you think. I'm going to ask for you to roll a knowledge check for me. You also know there are at least two, maybe three, maybe more individuals in this room. Giving very Foot Clan vibes, I would say. Very sneaky, very invisible. This seems like a Harry Potter situation. Absolutely, very much. Roll me a D20 plus your nature skill. If you can roll really well on this, you might have a clue as to who or what these people

might be. Four. really well on this, you might have a clue as to who or what these people might be. Four. Unfortunately, all you know for sure is you think you hear the clanking of armor. Like, whoever they are, they're not terribly sneaky, but they are invisible. You can hear them in heavy armor, though, slowly trying to maneuver, like they might be trying to surround you right now. You still have your action to either cast a spell or do an attack. The problem is you don't see anybody right now. You still have your action to either cast a spell or do an attack. The problem is you don't see anybody right now.

Could I now shape into something else? You certainly could, yes. That would be the final thing you get to do, but you can turn into an animal if you want. And I've put some sample animals down there, but really can turn into whatever animal you want. You gotta defend yourself, something with like a shell. Mm-hmm. If I could. Something with like a shell. Mm-hmm.

If I could. Something with night vision? Yeah. Like an owl? Is there like, could I be like a snapping turtle? You could be, yes, 100%. Okay. Eight, you could turn into a giant snapping turtle.

That would be the size of a human if not a little bit bigger with a big spiky shell and a pretty powerful bite attack I would say as well. Okay. Alright, alright. The thing about snapping turtles, you bigger with a big spiky shell and a pretty powerful bite attack, I would say as well. Finally, I think about snapping turtles. You turn to a big turtle, you're like looking around, not like, where are they, where are they? And you even hear somebody like whisper like, oh shit, under their breath as they see you change

into this terrifying animal. Gonna put snapping turtle down here so I remember. Best of all, if you take any damage in this form, you lose the turtle hit points. But if you get knocked out of turtle form, if you go down to zero hit points in turtle form, you just turn right back into a human druid. Back to Shredder?

Back into Shredder, 100%. My true self. However. I don't know why, but Max's making me very angry right now looking at him. Yeah, no, it's okay. Something about how you look, this makes me want to kill you

There's something about snapping turtles. Mm-hmm. Yeah, absolutely now at this point Actually, no not yet. Something else is gonna happen first Magnus steeltoe your good dwarven friend is by our side right now Would you like to send him down or would you like to hold him back or have him do something else? He's ready to start heading down the stairs. Check out what's going on. I'm with all the guys right now? You are, yeah. Send him down.

Absolutely, he goes rushing down, and it is right after he comes rushing down that all of a sudden, from behind one of the pillars, a crossbow bolt comes flying out right at Magnus, I am gonna say. This is an attack against him. It actually just barely misses Magnus, luckily. Magnus come back.

Absolutely, and we see whoever fired that is now visible. We see what looks like a giant-sized dwarf of some kind with gray skin and white hair who disappears behind the pillar, but only because he's hiding behind it now. You know he was invisible. He is no longer invisible. Actually, because he was invisible I need to roll a second time to see if he hits Magnus. No, he still doesn't hit Magnus, luckily.

Then, suddenly behind you an axe comes down upon your shell again with advantage because he's invisible and you see that nope just barely a miss against you because you have a turtle shell. It is just barely deflecting off your shell. A big dwarf in armor again gray skin, white hair and he tries to retreat away from you. The moment he does you get a free attack against him, Hippo Maximus. You can roll me a d20 plus 5 so you can snap at this guy. There's something about turtles that are just such a point of attack here. 12. 12 plus your snapping turtle form would have a plus 5. That is just barely a hit against this guy.

Well done. You need a 16 or higher so roll 2d6, the cube shape to die. Add him up and add plus 4. And this will be the guy with the axe. A 5. Okay. And then the next one will be a 4. A 4 and a 5 is 9 plus another four is gonna be 13. You can tell this guy with the axe continues retreating.

He's not quite halfway dead yet. And this guy looks pretty tough. Anyone who's looking at these two gray skinned dwarves can immediately roll a d20. If you roll well enough, you might know who it is. We are fighting right now I roll everybody can 100% everybody was down there right now, which I would say at this point is everybody I got a four Absolutely, I got a two again One boys. I got a three three Absolutely, and Max I'm also go you also can try the problem is you can't communicate because you're in turtle form.

True, true, true. Turtle power. Trust the turtles, that's a problem. That would be a six. Six is not enough still. I think we can just combine all of our numbers if it's not enough. You wanted us to roll a d20. A d20, yes.

Oh, I was rolling a d... No, sorry, not the d6. That would be the great roll then on the d6. You want to roll one d20 to see if you're... And you add a plus two for your nature skill as well. All right. Seven. Seven.

I am sorry to say, no one knows. These seem like they are evil dwarves. They have gray skin, white hair, and their eyes are really creepy. No pupils or irises. Pure white. And as they are fighting us, they look like they are vicious and much larger than a dwarf should be. At this point, Norm, if you could just roll for Magnus

as well, since he's not dead, he might know what's going on here. Two again. Two again. It's three, two, seven. Actually, he has advantage on this because he's a dwarf. Of course he does.

And Wayne, you can roll a second time as well because you're also a dwarf. 12. 12. He might know something about this. Okay. And then Wayne, you can roll a second time as well because you're also a dwarf. 12. 12. He might know something about this. Okay. And then Wayne, let's see if you also know.

That's a leaner. Yeah, cocked die. Absolutely, roll again. 100%. Is that what I think it is? Or is that cocked again? I think it's cocked. I think I double cocked.

I double cocked. Okay, fair enough, fair enough. That's a four. No, okay. fair enough, fair enough. That's a four. So I'll say it again. We get the name from Magnus Stilto. I'll just say Horngrim might have known the exact answer to this automatically. But he knows that there are different types of dwarves. There are mountain dwarves, there are hill dwarves,

and then there are what is known as the deep dwarves. The Dwaegar. They are evil dwarves who instead of delving down and then there are what is known as the Deep Dwarves, the Dwagar. They are evil dwarves who instead of delving down to the earth, come up from the deepest levels of the Underdark and make war upon their surface brethren, the good dwarves who live on the surface. The Dwagar must have come creeping up from below,

burrowed their way into the vault, and it is very likely that they are the ones who have stolen the treasure that we are looking for. Dwaegar would love to get their hands on things like axes and magic weapons created by their surface brethren. And so we know we are fighting some evil dwarves who have the ability to magically enlarge themselves

and turn invisible. And so that was Magnus Steeltoe and then the Dwagar on their turn. Horingrim is out of initiative. So Poopystinks the Orc starts going, oh, you guys, you got to start killing them. Do better, do better. And Norm, we are up to you now. What would you like to do? You know me Tim norm the barbarian aka shredder for I

Got bloodlust. Mm-hmm. I want to kill 100% think what I'm thinking. Who do you want to kill? I want to kill poopy stay. Yeah, and we want to make this We gotta go back to easy We'll go sl go back to easy. Absolutely. Let's kill Poopy Stinks and we'll go sliders back to easy. Absolutely, yes. Fuck this guy. 100%. You immediately ready your axe, you go, yeah, get them, get them.

And before he even realizes what you're doing, you're already pivoting in midair and going to hack into Poopy Stinks. Go ahead and, you already have advantage, you get to roll the D22 times because you're surprising him, but let me ask, are you also going reckless? I'm going reckless. Then you can roll three times on this attack.

14. 14, absolutely. 16. 16 is great, 100%. 15. 15. So with the 16, and I think you have a plus like 7 on your attack That's a 23 and poopy stinks goes no my my armor is higher too

Because you set the difficulty to ha and it's still enough to hit him well done You are hitting him, but I know how many hit points he has currently go ahead and roll 2d 6 Plus 6 damage assuming of course you are raging right now That is the d6 bingo you want to roll that two times and Add six to the total one. That's bad. That's not great seven damage so far for for for That's 11 damage total and at this difficulty poopy stinks had 10 HP

He's just barely slain with your first attack. Well done. And immediately, I will let you touch the blood stain and move the slider. Touch it! We're going back to easy, boys. We don't have Poopy Stinks to get up our ass anymore. You can now tell the Dwagar with the axe is halfway dead now. Everybody, congratulations. His hit point bar just went down. Well done. Suck my dick, you piece of shit. Absolutely. And nothing more satisfying than getting

to kill people that we can't normally kill over the internet. Yes. And so, Norm, that was only your first attack. You still have one more attack. Who would you like to deliver it to? There's one duagar who is now, thanks to you, halfway dead. All right, I got to kill the duagar, right? You can also see a full strength way gar pointing a crossbow at us

Oh, so you can go after either one you'll easily probably be able to kill the one Let's take the crossbow guy because then you guys can clean up because the other there's one Dwaye Dwaye gar full strength crossbow one Dwaye gar Half-strength correct. Let's go for the full straight. He's ready to shoot which one is not ready to shoot yet But he's gonna on his next turn. Which one is stronger? Do we know? Currently the one with the crossbow. Yeah, hostage. Can we get the half guy? Do we kill the crossbow guy first?

Yeah, and then take the weak one. Or do we kill the weak one and then convince the other guy, be like, look, we'll do that to you. Kill the strong one, convince the weak one and then convince the other guy be like look we'll do that to you Kill the strong one convince the weak one Okay, you kill their allies. It usually makes them easier to surrender and like Pokemon. They're easier to catch if they're a little okay Okay, so let's kill the strong one salute before I do that though. Can I just I? Got a friend who's in he's had a tough go of it. Can I just lightly? Kiss Greg on the lips you certainly can as you run down the stairs. He misses his gay husband.

100%. You'll be running right by him to get to the duet gar. So just a quick bonus, I'll say as part of your raging bonus action. What do I roll if I get hard? Roll me a d20 If you get a 20 You can tell me if you feel like you should be rolling a second time like if there's double the chance you might have Advantage on this as it were and you might roll again

Oh, that's up to you to decide. Yeah, if you think your character would like it that I would have to roll again I'm sorry to say yeah You were before but it's like Kiss and you can run to the crossbow duagar at the other side of the room Norm the moment you do Suddenly as you are crossing the distance to get into melee with him Another invisible duagar tries to plant a pair of axes into your back as you run past the pillar That he was hiding behind. I'm sorry. say. Only had a hard shell on your back.

He is going to hit you with the first one and actually he gets another roll because you're going reckless right now. No, okay, didn't crit. But he hits you with the first one and then the second one is gonna be another hit. I am sorry to say that's two separate hits with two separate hand axes and

he is going to get for the first hand axe a total of Looks like it's gonna be five plus three eight damage. I can handle that you're raging You don't take eight damage you take four damage on the first attack. The second attack would have been 11 gets half down to five The second attack would have been 11, gets halved down to five. So you took nine damage in all. You still have 50 HP left out of your 59 right now. You're fine. But partially because of the slide.

And so you are absolutely able to either turn back on this guy and attack him or go for the full strength guy with the crossbow. But now you know there's two duergar with full strength, not just one. I turn back on the guy and he just hit me. You gotta defend yourself. Yeah. Otherwise they're all gonna think you're a bitch. Yeah yeah all right I'm gonna turn around and fuck this guy up. Absolutely go ahead and roll with your reckless attack two times and dig the

higher number. 17. 17 is a hit already but let's see if you crit. 19! 19! I mean, even better. You are definitely hitting him for 2d6 plus six damage with your great sword. Four. Four. Two. Two, so six plus six is 12 damage on the duagar

with his double hand axes. He's very much like a Dwegar Ranger, you think, with double hand axes and like his cloak thrown up like he's an extra sneaky Dwegar. So he actually has a little less hit points than the others. 12 is halfway dead for him. Well done. So we got two half dead Dwegars.

Exactly right, 100%. Well done on your turn, Norm. That's both of the attacks that you get. And then Erlik, that is gonna bring us back around to the top of initiative with you. At some point the Dwagar are going to go. We actually got a lot of us in a row before they get a chance to. And do I get, does Lola get to attack as well? Yes. Thank you for remembering that 100%. Lola absolutely gets to attack. Lola also

is the other person here who definitely has the invisibility spell. So she, I'm going to assume, is invisible right now at the beginning of combat, and so she'll have advantage on stinging anybody that she can see. But unfortunately, being invisible does not mean you can see other invisible people. I also, it says here it can shapeshift into a raven, spider, or rat. I think we're both a rat. Correct. She's in rat form right now then.

Perfect. She can be invisible in rat form right now then. She can be invisible in rat form either way. Yeah, totally. Are you Master Splinter? Absolutely. I hate that dude. I fucking hate Master Splinter. Yes, absolutely.

You don't know who Master Splinter is. Yeah, I do. Oh, you do? What am I doing? So if you're gonna have her go attack, who do you want her to attack? The guy with the hand axes, the guy with the big big axe or the guy with the crossbow crossbow absolutely 100% you're going for the full guy full strength with the crossbow roll me since she's invisible

in rat form roll me with advantage a d20 two times and take the higher number that'd be one okay good thing she's invisible. 18. 18, there you go. She has a plus five to hit, so with the 23, you're hitting the guy with the crossbow for 1d4 plus three damage with a stinger, a scorpion stinger, that I'm going to say is coming out of the rat tail for sure. So it'd be the d4, it is the pyramid shaped die. You're looking for the number on top. One. Ooh, I'm sorry to say with a plus three, that's four damage against him so far. But then the poison kicks in.

I would like you to please roll for me three d6s in all and add them up. That's a lot of poison damage. That's three. Three. Give me a six. Three. Three, okay, six so four. Come on, four. Four, okay, of poison damage. That's three. Three. Three. Okay. Four. Four. Okay, so ten damage. All right.

Unfortunately, Dwaygar being dwarves, the dwarves in our group would know they have advantage on saving throws against the poison. So they're gonna try to shake it off. First is not a success, but let's try the second roll. That is enough to succeed. They're taking half that damage, so five. And then, Dwegar are dwarves who take half damage from boys and also, so it drops down to just two damage instead, I am sorry to say. So that Dwegar with the crossbow took six points of damage.

They're not halfway dead just yet. But that was only Lola's turn. Lola is now visible and you can tell that this guy's reaching for a hammer on his back to try to hit Lola and dropping his crossbow do you want to do anything to him yeah I'd like to Eldritch Blast him. Absolutely! Eldritch Blast is a huge move for you that's two attacks do you want to aim them both at this guy with the crossbow yeah I can't let him take out Lola. Absolutely roll Roll me 1d20 plus 6, I believe.

8? 8 plus 6, I'm sorry to say, is not a hit against this guy. Just barely amiss by two points. Now, to be fair, you have an ability that could save you here. You have something called Dark One's Blessing. You get to add a d10 to one roll, but once you do it, it's used up for the whole day.

Alright, I'll save it. You save it! You get another blast, roll that other blast now. d20 plus six. Come on. 18! 18 plus six is a solid hit. Go ahead and roll for the damage. One D10, that's this weird shaped one right here. D10 plus three, bingo. Two. Two plus three is five more damage. Brings the one with the crossbow up to 11 damage.

That is just a few points shy of being halfway dead for the one with the cross though. But so far so good. You piled up some damage on that one Dwegar. Well done. And Ehrlich, anything else you wanted to do on your turn? Commanding Lola was the bonus action. Your action, you could move a little bit and open up a door if you wanted to. But I don't know if now is the right time for that. Yeah, I think we're good. Absolutely. 100%.

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Then Wayne, that is gonna bring us to you next. What would you like to do? Okay, so I can do my level threes? You can, absolutely. Those are your most powerful spells. Now you each really only get one of those per day. Okay, that's fine. I would like to hypnotize all the invisible enemies in the room. Okay. With the exception of the one who is halfway damaged that we want to take hostage. I will point out that your hypnotic pattern ability is a great way to take a prisoner

because it won't kill anybody. It'll just hypnotize them and then you can decide, do you kill them while they're hypnotized or do you chain them up? Okay, then I would like to hypnotize everybody. Everybody in the room, 100%. Are you trying to avoid all of your teammates or are you not minding if you catch? Yeah, I'd like to avoid all the shredders if I could. All the shredders.

Thank God we all are called shredders. Anybody else? Oh yeah, 100%. All the natural the shredders. Thank God we all look like shredders. Anybody else? Oh yeah. All the natural born shredders. Well you can't tell. Absolutely. It's a little hard to tell who's a shredder and who's not. I'm sure if you look under the hood you'd be able to.

Do you want to make sure that you get maybe one of the shredders? I would like to make sure that my hypnotization only works on all characters who at the start of this episode were not shredders. Okay, 100%. I want to keep us safe. It does sound like maybe there is one person beside the duagar getting caught, and so I will first roll for the duagar with the axe. The duagar with the axe who's halfway dead is failing the saving throw and ending up hypnotized.

Well done just barely. Then the one with the crossbow is not getting hypnotized, I am sorry to say. So right now we've got one who's still loose, and that's the strongest one right now. And then the one with the hand axis who went for norm. Good job, dude. Is also failing and getting hypnotized. So we've only got one who is not hypnotized currently. And then... Can't defeat a stronger opponent oh you can just roll me a perception check to see if you're noticing anything

here right okay which one is that that would be a d20 d20 18 18 plus whatever you are definitely noticing there's one other invisible person in the room who did not get caught in the hypnosis because you heard them shifting around a little bit, almost like to avoid it a little bit and was like, oh, like breathing a sigh of relief that they did not get caught. By the way, what hypnotic pattern are you creating that they're now staring and drooling at right now? Hypnotic is in like, uh, what mood are they in? I mean, it's, it's, hypnotic pattern is usually like scintillating lights or like some display

that is making them stare at it like oh So it'd be something that they really want to look at that they can't take their eyes off a great and cat daddy great great rack I've said yeah, there's just these jugs kind of floating in the air and to Apparently for dweg are in the room right now or just like yeah like drooling a little bit Just one of them's just sort of like rubbing his hands a little bit. Is Greg looking at the rack? So right now. I'm just curious I'm just curious if Greg's looking or not. Greg roll roll for me to you're not caught in the spell but you might want to yeah the higher you roll the more likely you are. What'd you get Greg? I'm just curious. Oh no Greg. I rolled a one. A one? I did say, I just said the higher you roll,

the more likely you are you are looking at it. So apparently you're not interested in these jugs of blood. So ever. You don't care about the perfect round titties at all? Nope, apparently not. Not like, couldn't care less. Literally couldn't care less. You're like Mr. Smithers with the dances around him.

Uh. Wait, do they hurt me? I did not hurt you. No, I, hmm. Just roll one D20, if you roll low, something happens here. Two. Actually with a two, you blink.

And for you and only you, they're not, you realize, oh, they're not boobs at all. It's just a pair of balls dancing around right now. 100%, just started jiggling a little bit. And so you are 100% noticing this, but you're not hypnotized, I'm doing the right now 100% just sort of jiggling a little bit. And so you are 100% noticing this but you're not hypnotized I'm going to say or um maybe a little hypnotized. We'll see on your turn. However it sounds like maybe one other person might be getting caught in this. Roll me a d20 just to make sure you got the right shredder. As long as you don't get a one you're

fine. I got a 10. You're fine. Absolutely. I am going to need one wisdom saving throw, which I happen to know you're pretty good at. So you have like a plus five on this. Go ahead and roll me a d20 plus five, but you need a 14 or higher against Wayne's spells. How'd you do? Cocked. Nine. nine plus five is a 14 exactly it is just barely enough that you are not hypnotized well done That's good, and Wayne that was your hypnotic pattern spell you're now aware two of them are hypnotized Apparently to duagar one visible and one invisible in this room are still loose and that will us, did you want to inspire anybody else on your turn now with a bonus action? Yeah, I'd like to inspire Norm.

Absolutely. Norm put his shell on the line. Norm put his shell on the line? What do you say to inspire him? Norm, you're good. It's just you got to rub some dirt on it. Get back out there. 100%.

With that inspiration, it is now Greg's turn. Greg, what would you like to do? One of these Dwagar is running away, right? It does seem like two of them are hypnotized. The one with the crossbow looks a little scared and has this scorpion-tailed rat right next to them. And then there is one invisible and we don't know what they're doing. One's invisible. Yes. Doesn't seem like any of them are running away just yet, but they're definitely rethinking their strategy here.

I'd like to spin in a circle with my longsword, please. Ooh, interesting. You're hoping to hit multiple duagar, is that right? Just because I can't see the invisible one. Ooh, interesting. Okay, I like that. Are you hoping to hit one of the visible duagar, or are you just going to try to spin? I'm trying to weed out the invisible one.

The invisible one invisible 100 percent then i'm going to let you roll uh first of all a d20 to see how likely it is that you crash into them 14 14 is just enough that when you add your athletics bonus i was looking for a 15 or higher you are crashing into something now roll me a d20 but two times and take the lower number you have disadvantage because they're invisible to see whether your sword hits them or not seven seven and roll more time take the lower no 18 so with the seven plus your long sword it says you have a plus what plus six plus six so seven plus six thirteen I'm sorry see you bumped into somebody your sword kind of cut into some armor, but it didn't hit whoever they are.

However, you get two attacks per turn. So now you can roll again with disadvantage to try to hit this person. I do know where they are. You do know where they are. In fact, you don't have disadvantage anymore. I like that. Roll one time to hit them now.

What is that? That's a 13. Yeah? That looks like a 13. Absolutely, 13 plus seven is a dirty 20. And that is going to be a well done. Now with your sword, it says you have one d8 plus three damage, I think. Is that right? My long sword is one d8 plus three. Absolutely. Now that's what it would be if you don't smite. If you burn up one of your valuable smiting spells it could be an

extra 2d8 or if you burn up a second level one a very powerful one that would be an extra 3d8 so you could deal 4d8 plus 3 damage to whoever this is. I'm holding off on smite. You're holding off on smite 100% so it just be 1d8 plus 3 that's all. Is that… which one is that? This? This three. The d8 would be this one right here. Kind of looks like two pyramid stuck together. Seven. Seven. Absolutely. Seven plus three is going to be 10 damage. You hear a grunt from what sounds like

a female duagar as far as you can tell. And I'm going to roll because damage. You hear a grunt from what sounds like a female, Dwegar, as far as you can tell. And I'm going to roll because since you hurt them, they might lose their invisibility spell if I get less than a 10 on this. So just one roll. They have a good bonus on this. And with a the number they needed to get was a 10. They got a six plus three is only a nine. They become visible. And that is when you see a familiar face. It is a duagar, but it seems as though it is the stepsister of Wayne,

who of course was not related to him. And you are realizing now there are signs of like makeup on her neck still where she was wearing a disguise that would make her look like a surface dwarf. And she has apparently been a duagar this whole time. She was a traitor. She says, I knew I should have left that Stupid ogre alive and taking him with me that simp

But I have the treasure now me and my friends and the other Dway girl like hey We're not winning this fight right now and she grabs the axe and she is absolutely going to try to fight back against you. But it's not her turn just yet, Greg. Greg, amazing turn. Amazing turn. Sorry, Greg, also, I'm just trying to remember. Do you remember what you got on that first attack that would have hit her? I'm trying to remember because I forgot you had bardic inspiration.

You could have used bardic inspiration. It was a seven. It was low. There was a low. You're absolutely right. It wouldn't have been enough with the disadvantaged goddess. You still have bardic inspiration if you need it. Did we try to fuck his stepsister? So his stepsister did join the adventure, we used her as bait to lure out some orcs. I don't think any of us tried to fuck her.

The question was whether Wayne would, but that was really hinging on whether she was a step-sister What's the rule on disclosing if she was Dwegar before we fucked her? In theory she kept that from us. So that's kind of on her a little bit Yeah, so it is it is a an issue possibly But the good news is she's definitely not biologically related to you now You can confirm that for sure and hippo maximus in snapping turtle form that would bring related to you now. You can confirm that for sure. And hippomaximus in snapping turtle form. That would bring us to you next. I mean, if you want to call dibs on her.

I don't want to call dibs. We did establish she had very high charisma. She's a looker, your step-sister. Hell yeah, still is, even if she has like gray skin and white hair, it kind of looks pretty good. And she's giant size now. So if muscle mommy's your thing, that's absolutely

Moment yep, we share everything is shredders. We do yeah, we do. Mm-hmm. We took it as an oath. Yep shredder oath the shredder oh, yeah Everyone say the shredder I Quest and always where to kill turtles Perfect. So it's true. Do we all say yeah. Yeah. All right, that's bad for maxon. No, I'm if I'm Disguising myself as a turtle to know more about the species something that you wouldn't understand because you're not a shredder I don't know. I'm sure no, it's the opposite You're disguising yourself to be a shredder, but you really only know the turtle ways. You're not a shredder. I am a shredder, no. I'm a shredder. No, it's the opposite. You're disguising yourself to be a shredder, but you really only know the turtle ways.

You're not like us. We do have a shredder who's a turtle, and a turtle who's a shredder. That's pretty wild, yeah. Yeah. And give a maximus here. And you know the Dwegar are going to go right after your turn.

Two of them are hypnotized. Shredette has taken 10 points of damage, but is not halfway dead yet. And the Dwegar with the crossbow of them are hypnotized. Shredette has taken 10 points of damage, but is not halfway dead yet. And the Dwagar with the crossbow is also not hypnotized and is almost halfway dead. I'm getting real confused as to who I want to kill. Which one's the turtle? Which one's the shredder?

No, that's something that this shredder turned turtle understood when he took this form, but it was a journey that he chose to do to learn more about the enemy at hand. But that's fine. That sounds like something a turtle would say. Yeah. Do we have a head of lettuce on us to just test?

Well, we know Max wouldn't go after the lettuce. Yeah. Yeah. Hippo Maximus, come on. If I don't think about you and lettuce, they don't go well together. Is there any sort of attack I could do to... I was going to say dressing.

Can we put some bacon on it? Also, Hippo Maximus, you do have two healing potions, I'm going to say, that you've been given as a gift. It's the perfect thing to heal if you get injured or just on a long plane ride. You can drink your two healing potions. Nice. Also good. Also good. What would those potions do to my current form? Would they bring me back to... In theory, someone might bust you drinking them and start telling people about you drinking

both healing potions, but in theory right now you could just kind of swallow them all in here. I would like to swallow those potions. In theory you don't need it yet because you haven't been injured yet. It's perfectly normal to swallow those potions even though other people might think that it's not. 100%. It's a long dungeon crawl. And you could drink them now, you aren't injured yet. So they really wouldn't benefit you at the moment.

I still would like to drink them. You certainly can. Absolutely. It's a long adventure. You drink your healing potions real quick. Chug them. 100%. Absolutely. And you've still got two duagar fighting at the moment and two who are hypnotized. Just a warning, if their turn comes up, they can and might wake up their hypnotized teammates with an action. It needs up their whole action, but they could get their teammates up and running again. So if I fight these duagars and they get hit points on me, will that take away from my turtle status?

Takes away from your turtle hit points, but not your druid hit points. Okay, as much as I love to be a turtle, I'm willing to risk that for the betterment of the team and try and defeat these duegars. Absolutely. You're thinking of attacking them in turtle form or? Yes, I will be attacking them in turtle form and risking my turtle form Absolutely assuming that you are going after one of the duagar who's still currently fighting Do you want to go after shred debt or do you want to go after the one with the crossbow? Uh, I would like to keep shred at around

Seems almost like they're listening to her like she's giving them orders, right? Even and so you can go for the one with the crossbow instead. That's one you might be able to take down with a single hit. Go ahead and roll me a d20 plus five to see if you can hit this duagar. That would be 13. 13 plus five is 18. That is a hit against the duagar, well done.

And you've got Lola the rat right next to you. Just a heads up, so two animals are fighting this Dwaygar with the crossbow you can roll 2d 6 plus 4 damage The Dwaygar has 11 HP. Sorry. This Dwaygar has 14 HP left right now So is it can I lose hit points to You cannot until they attack you on their turn. And to be fair, by being in melee, now the one with the crossbow can't easily get over to their teammates to wake them up. Well done. So this is 2d6 you said?

Absolutely. 2d6 plus 4. One six and a one. A six and a one, so seven plus four is 11 more damage. Brings this to a grow up to 22. They have four hit points left. That is all they are on their last legs. Well done. So, uh, and in theory with your bonus action, you could change back. And if you're done with turtle form, but if you stay in turtle form. Absolutely, 100%. You change back into druid form, is that right? Is there any way that I can like, bring everyone back to what they originally were? Unfortunately not, unless you have to spell magic to end the disguise self spell.

Good to know, I just wanted to know. Absolutely. What did you learn from being a turtle? I learned a lot about it. About how they think. Can we trust you? Yeah, no. As a turtle though, when you were a turtle,

were you kind of untrustworthy? There's something about a turtle that they do things in a way that is just really annoying to others And I felt that annoyance within myself. Oh, so I had to get out of that. You like talk down to you. Yep They're also dumb and they think that they're in on something when they're really not Interesting interesting. Thank God it's all shredders here. Absolutely, just a bunch of shredders. And that is a great turn.

You turn back into human form, is that right? Yeah, back in shredder form. Shredder form, of course. Shredder form, that was just a bunch. Five shredders. Absolutely, five shredders hanging out. What a cliche. And so you form, that was just the fun. Five shredders. Five shredders. Shredders hanging out. What a cliche. And so you are absolutely up to the Dwagar's turn now.

I'm going to roll, and if I roll really high, this Dwagar is feeling bold and brave enough to try to wake up one of his teammates, but if he does, that's two attacks of opportunity he's going to be provoking. He's not willing to risk it. He tries his side. Is he going to go after Lola, or is he going to go after you? Lola, I'm so sorry, but instead of going after the turtle, this duagar pulls out his hammer and tries to squish Lola. He needs a 13 or higher, and he's got a plus five on this.

I'm sorry to say, with a 17, Lola is getting hit by this hammer. Lola does have 10 HP. And this hammer's gonna deal this much plus four. Let's see, oh! I rolled a natural one. And with only five damage, Lola still has half of her hit points. So Lola's at five out of 10.

That is that Dwegar's turn. Then Shredette is going to stand up. Now the last person to attack her was you. She looks at you, takes her hand in the air and just so you think she's going to do some kind of magic, she does, but it's not to attack you. She starts to wave her hands in her face. Uh oh. And she begins to fade away and turn invisible again. She's trying to really turn invisible and she points at the bodies on the ground and says, hey, I know you guys are having a lot of fun right now, but I got to turn invisible. I'm so sorry right now. And I, she does start to vanish before your very eyes, but you can feel her nearby. You feel her start

to move away from you. You can take one free attack against her, but since she's invisible, you have disadvantage on this. You got to roll two times and take the lower number. Is she not hypnotized? She is not hypnotized, I'm sorry to say. Shredette had been invisible when you cast this spell. She was caught in it, but she passed the saving throw just barely. 18. 18. And then 12. 12. 12. And then you had a plus what to hit with your longsword again? Plus 3. 3. Or sorry that was 1d8 plus 3 right? What's the 2 hit? Oh plus 6. Plus 6 and you just got a 12 on the d20 so plus 6. Her armor class is 18. And was that the lower of the two numbers? Was the 12? Absolutely! That is just barely a hit against her. So you get

one D eight plus three unless you're smiting in which case you get a lot more damage. Are we trying to have her as host? This is your stepsister? Shredette? Yeah, we want to get her secrets. Yeah. Now if you bring someone down to zero hit points, you can say you're dealing not really. That's a little shredder. Oh, those shredder.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah, now I'm back. So wait, do you want me to smite your sister? Has she been bad? Well, she took the axe, we think. Right? Yeah. We need to get secrets out of her.

So wait, I don't want to smite her. Let's not kill her. I don't want to risk killing her. She knows a lot of secrets, guys. Yeah. No smite, please. Not smiting her. Roll 1d8 plus 3.

1. Ooh. Four more damage on Shredet is going to bring her up to 14. You can't tell if she's halfway dead or not. Then again, you just dealt damage to her while she's invisible. Let's see if she maintains her invisibility. Huh! And her invisibility is broken.

You can see her running behind the throne. She opens up the door behind the throne and tries to run through it. So you did get the free attack. She's no longer invisible thanks to that attack. You can tell with 14 damage she's very close to halfway dead, but not quite there. And she just disappeared through a door, unfortunately. But she couldn't have gotten very far beyond that door so we know it's the fifth door the one to the east just behind the throne that she just ran through we can chase her no problem but there's still one

conscious duagar in the room with us and she ditched the two who were hypnotized so well done on the duagar turn we withstood them we'll get back to dnd in a second it's brought to you by our great friends at Morgan & Morgan. There's a reason why coffee is the first thing people reach for in the morning, just like there's a reason why Morgan & Morgan is America's largest injury law firm. For over 35 years, Morgan & Morgan has been fighting for the people just like you and I.

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Can he ask, uh, should that a question or no? Uh, he could if she was still in the room. Unfortunately she just ran for it. So right now he's going to help us try to kill the Dwagar with the crossbow if that's what you want him to do. Nine. Absolutely. And unfortunately he doesn't have advantage.

So unfortunately he clangs in his fighting with the Dwagar who has his hammer out who had the crossbow but not hitting him unfortunately It's really cute. That is gonna and Poopy Stinks is also dead now. So that is gonna bring us to you, Norm. Norm, what would you like to do? Shredette ran for it. There's two Dwaygar who are hypnotized and one who has four Hit points left and a hammer and crossbow. What do you guys think? Should we follow Shredette? I would like to follow her and not kill her. I really want to ask Shredette, like I know we've all met her, but like did she know any of us before we met her? Yeah. Like anyone in this room?

She's got the axe, right? We think she has the axe. Yeah, alright, let's follow. She claimed she did. Alright, so let's follow her. Let's get everyone going, follow her and attack her again. We don't want to kill her though. Right. We want to get her as weak as possible. We want to see where she's running to?

Can I kidnap her? I don't know. Yeah. Certainly could. Let's kidnap her. You chase her. You run behind the big throne, kick that door open, and sure enough, it's a dead end room.

It looks like it's the war room of the ancient dwarves. There's a table with all these maps of the mountain on the table. So that's good information for us. This is a maps of the mountain on the table. So that's good information for us. This is a map of the level we're on that is labeling on it in Dwarvish, which Wayne can speak. And standing on the table like a badass, Shredette is standing there with her awesome great sword pointed at you. She's nervous because she's no longer invisible.

And she says, bring it. And you can absolutely attack her it's kind of hot and game since she's visible you can aim to knock her out yeah or you could just roll intimidation and try to get her surrender though you got after attacking it all right so let's get her surrender oh do you want to attack her first and then see if she's render the more you injure her more likely she'll surrender okay before I do that can I I? We're all together, right? I would just like to just a little credit card

swipe of Greg's asshole. 100%. Can I roll for clench? Yes, 100%. The higher you roll, the tighter you clench. That's an 18. It's an 18. You barely get your card through it, to be honest.

It gets a little stuck. You're like, is this thing scanning? Like, is this one of those attachments? And you almost, I think you do this, and you realize you don't have a card in your hand anymore, and you kinda gotta fish it out. Like a Chinese finger trap. Yeah, that's right.

That's really good, that's really good. Cause that's plus athletics. So that's really a 23 at the end of the day. She keeps denying me, and it's just want it more. I think you actually need to check if you want great guys exactly Your strength you yank and free the very last minute they're like they're like swollen Alright yeah, let's uh let's let's fuck up shred that absolutely kidnap her and get her secrets Can I assume you're going reckless? Oh, of course. So you can roll two times on the first attack. Who says no? No, I don't think

absolutely Seven that's not seven is not great with a plus six to your attacks I think or even a plus seven it might be unfortunately that is not going to be a hit But you only get you get two attacks so you can roll again with advantage because you went reckless. Incidentally Norm, all the barbarian AWLs when I run the game for them and I ask them whether they go reckless, they say just like Norm. You know it, Tim. Absolutely. They all want to be like Norm. Fuck yes. So you can roll two times on the d20 again. 11.

like norm. So you can roll two times on the d20 again. 11. 4. Now the 11 was the higher roll. Can I just ask you to check your sheet? It's a plus 7 to hit. That means you got an 18 and 18 is the number you needed to hit. Go ahead and roll two D6s. Two D6s. Absolutely. Plus six. Dirty 18. Five and five! Dirty 18.

Five and five is amazing! With 16 more damage, Shredette is up to 30 damage. One more attack will take her down for sure. She is way more than halfway dead. You think she has maybe like five HP left, and you can take her down. Well done. But she's fighting with you.

In fact, she's so injured now, if you want to use your bonus action to intimidate her into surrendering, you would have advantage on this. OK, let's intimidate her to surrender. Roll two times and take the higher number. OK. 13. Mm-hmm. 13.

16. I am looking for a 20 or higher. What is your intimidation? It's plus one. Plus one! I am sorry to say it is not quite enough, unfortunately. But it's only because Shredette is a true badass. Any one of the other Dwagar would have surrendered with that roll. She is still fighting and she's like looking to see if she can run out around you But it's only because Shredette is a true badass. Any one of the other Dwegar would have surrendered with that role. She is still fighting and she's like looking to see

if she can run out around you. Good luck, she probably can't pull that off. Absolutely, and Erlich, this is gonna bring us around to you again, what would you like to do? So for Lola, I would like to take out the crossbow guy. Absolutely, 100%, he's got four HP left. Smart move. Go right ahead and try to sting him.

10. 10. 10 plus 5 is a 15. You'd be missing by a single point with that, I'm sorry to say. So close. So he's still hanging on right now. What would you like to do with your action? I feel like there's going to be a lot of competition, so I would like to charm Shredette. Ooh, absolutely. You can try to charm her. You cast Charm Person on Shredette. It works, and I get one saving throw. If I don't get a 14 or higher, and she has only a plus one on this, then she is charmed by you so let's see. You didn't think to ask me if it was cool? Yeah. It's the shredder code to never charm. Like everybody knows that shredder code. Absolutely. It's very uncanny you were like that.

That was in the oath. I think that was in the oath. Yeah the oath was we as shredders promise to never charm another shredders stepsister without without permission permission from shredder and also fuck turtles like we say in the mirror every morning so article two with a plus or bonus the total and she needed a 14 to avoid being charmed the The total is a 13! She is charmed by you, Ehrlich, just barely, and she starts to look at you with little hearts rising from her head in an admiring way. She's saying, I'll get my way past you, barbarian, and then when I- whoa, wait a minute, who's that shredder over there for some reason that compared to all the other shredders that one shredder for some reason is like really good looking I don't know why and she can't put her finger on it anytime you make a persuasion check on her you now

have advantage for the duration of the next hour after which she will be like what the fuck was happening to me and she will start to realize that she was under a charm spell but well done Ehrlich was there anything else you wanted to do on your turn? That was your action. Could I use the investigation skill to take a look at these maps? You certainly could. Absolutely. I believe your character actually speaks Dwarvish. At the very least Gnomish is based off of Dwarvish. So go ahead and roll an investigation check. D20 plus investigation. Great bonus action there. 16 plus five.

Absolutely. And just so you know, as you're looking at the maps, she was standing on the table. So you look at the maps and you see her feet. And she takes one step closer to you and then another step. And you kind of look up and you realize she's standing right above you and says, well, hello there, handsome.

And what was your total on that again? 16. 16 with a 16 you're gonna learn two important facts. First of all before you learn any of those facts I'm gonna tell you right now it's clearly a map of the dungeon you're in right now. There's a map of the upper floor, there's also a map of this floor, and now you can tell there's labeling marked on this room. It says war room and it even says like Stepsister shredette sleeps he like hangs out here. Nobody else is allowed in the war room unless I give you permission But there's ruins labeling the other four doors that we don't know about Which door do you want to know about first?

You're gonna learn about two things in this period of time you get to pick You're gonna learn about two things in this period of time you get to pick Northwest, northeast, southwest, or southeast. And this is something that like I'm I'm only learning this information like they don't know that I know this right all right, so I'll go northwest. Northwest first of all. Apparently they have labeled in Dwarvish that this is an old Dwarven temple beyond the northwestern door. She's written treasure? Question mark? Like she's not sure if there's treasure, meaning that whatever treasure she has, it's not that treasure. But it also says on the door, a little arrow is pointing to the door into

the temple. And it says, and you did remember there were like runes on the door, but they were tiny and hard to read. And it says riddle when it points to that door for some reason so there might be Treasure there's a riddle on the door apparently and it says old dwarven temple and then there was a symbol that just says Danger inside of that temple. So that's what you learn first. What else you've got northeast southwest and southeast Southwest southwest southwest is labeled old Southwest and Southeast. Let's go Southwest. Southwest. Southwest is labeled old kitchen. And then it says wizard, old dwarven wizard, animated furniture, danger.

Hmm, weird. And that is all you have time to learn about so far right now, I will say. And that is Ehrlich's bonus action. Well done, Ehrlich. That action well done Ehrlich that is going to bring us to Wayne next and none of us know that information just yet Wayne what would you like to do currently your sister's charmed but still fighting us at the moment unless sorry did you ask the sister to not where you going where you going where you going I gotta I gotta

take a piss do you do you tell the sister to stop fighting us or do you tell her to keep fighting them? Keep fighting keep fighting. Absolutely. She's still fighting us. So is the Dwaygar who had the crossbow So we got to Dwaygar who were still fighting us at the moment Wayne Why would he do that? I thought he was with us. We've got to put our shredder mess on Surrounded by shredders suddenly I thought he was a waterboard. Hank, why would he tell why we tell her to keep fighting us if he's one of us? That doesn't make any sense. She's going to know that he's not a shredder once they get together.

Last time she gets the pants off. Yeah. Once you go shredder, it's never been wetter. She's going to see him and be like, you're not a shredder. Yeah, right. Every shredder is cut. I'm I'm a little upset You have every right to be mm-hmm How far away from early? You think you're inside out? I think you're inside out.

We'll take the mask off. You abscig and see Ehrlich and either cast spells or move into melee with him. Okay, but I can't go level 3 anymore, right? Actually, I was mistaken. Now that I think about it, you actually have two level 2, three spell slots at level 6. I can go level 2 as well. You could, yes. Could I create a zone go level two as well. You could, yes. Could I create a zone of truth?

Yes, you certainly could. Ask my stepsister, like, what do you see in this guy? Absolutely, go ahead and you create this zone of truth that no one can lie in. I'm gonna roll for your stepsister and perfect. You know she can't lie now. You could also cast it in such a way that it covers Erlik and in such a way that it will also cover Norm,

who's in that room. I trust Norm. Absolutely. But I'd like to cover Erlik as well. You cover Erlik as well. So both of them are in the zone of truth. He's gonna have to roll to see if he can lie or not, but definitely your stepsister is not lying in the moment.

You say, what do you see in this guy? And she blurts out, I don't know. He just seems like the kind of shredder that I'm been to and I think I might even be charmed wait What as she says that out loud? She gets another saving throw now, but I'll say maybe with disadvantage because he's already charmed Yeah Unfortunately, she says maybe I'm even charmed and she goes. Oh, I guess I'm charmed by his personality She's confused a little bit right now.

It's starting to like, she's like looking at her hands, getting a little trippy. She's starting to realize what's going on, but not quite, it seems. I probably should ask where the axe was. No, no, no, there's more important things. Yeah, yeah. Hey, oh, you're back.

I'm back. I would like you to just roll a d20 for me real quick. Any particular reason You'll find out just a moment. It is a spell has been cast upon you and the stepsister. Mm-hmm Can I send send a counter spell you actually have oh you certainly could that's a declaration of war Are you counter spelling this it is automatically successful if you do a third level counter spell that instantly negates any level two spell And so no the moment you realize you want to roll an arcana check to see if you knew what spell it was Yeah, I rolled a 13 perfect excellent with a 13 plus whatever your arcana is you knew it was a zone of truth

So he he's going to take polygraph. Yeah Yeah, the spell absolutely effective your your stepsister for just a moment. She kind of blurted out that she finds him handsome and she might be charmed. But before it could really even help her start to break free, he counterspells it, unweaving the very magic you just wove, I'm sorry to say. It means both of you have burned up a spell slot now.

It means that they're hiding something. That's what I hear. Absolutely. And that was your action. Anything with your bonus action. You could inspire somebody, you could do a healing word, whatever you wanna do. Is anybody injured?

At the moment, yes, Norm is injured. Oh yeah, heal him up. Absolutely, give him a little healing word. That would be a D, four, the pyramid shape to die, plus three. Okay. It's four. Or you get seven hit points back.

Norm, Norm, you're only two hit points down now. I'm gonna need those. Done. Absolutely. The battle we've got coming. Who knows where this battle's gonna go. And Wayne, amazing turn. That is gonna bring us to Greg now.

Greg, what would you like to do? I wanna torture Shredette. Mm. You guys wanna torture her? Yeah, I mean to torture Shredette. Mm-hmm. You guys want to torture her? Yeah, I mean, she seems like she turned her back on us. Is there any, does anybody have any rope or chains? We've all got rope. Yeah.

I want to try to tie her up. Absolutely. Go ahead and roll an athletics check. I believe that's a plus five, so a d20 plus five. Six. Six plus five, so a d20 plus five. Six. Six plus five. You are going to tie her up. She immediately goes, what are you doing?

No, no, no, are you telling her what you're doing or are you just fighting her and trying to tie her up? I said we're about to torture you. Absolutely. She's gonna try to resist that then. With a plus two, she has actually a plus four in all. So let's see, she needs an 11 or higher to beat you. Sorry to say with a 12 plus four, that's a 16.

She avoids getting tied up. I would let you try again with your second attack or you could stab her with your sword. Hank, can you talk to her? You have her charmed. Can I? I would let you try. What would you like me to say?

One persuasion check. Convince her it'll be fine. Yeah, can you guess later? Since you're doing this as a reaction, I'm gonna only let you roll once, even though you normally have advantage on your turn. You'll have advantage. 1d20? Absolutely. 4.

4, I'm sorry to say. You're telling her just like, let him tie you up, and she goes, fuck no, you maybe, not him. And she does not seem to want to get tied up, unfortunately. Now you could try again with your, the rest of your action if you want, but she's still fighting you at the moment. I'm gonna try again. Absolutely.

I'll tell you right now, the number you need to beat this time with a natural 20. You need to get a 24 or higher. You have two rolls on this. Why you laugh? 17. Oh, it's so high too. Actually, I'm sorry you don't have two rolls,

but you just, the number you need to get was a 24. What's your athletics bonus? I do not have one. Oh, I thought you did. Why are you laughing, Hank? I just went on. I'm sorry to say, we'll see. From your strength, that is not quite enough

to tire up unfortunately. You laughed at him not having an athletic bonus? You're fighting with her, and she is not tied up at the moment. It is now Hippo Maximus's turn. And I guess you could order your moth to do something if you wanted to. Um, no it's fine for right now. It's fine for right now.

Absolutely. Hippo Maximus right after you go, the sister's gonna get a chance to do something, stepsister, and the duagar with the hammer and crossbow who has four hit points left is gonna get to do something, including wake up a teammate if he really wants to. Now there's one teammate that I don't necessarily trust and I think that for the benefit of the rest of us shredders, there's five of us right now, I would like to question one of them. Ooh, yes, absolutely.

Now, technically neither of them have surrendered just yet. Shredette likes one of us, and the other one has not surrendered, but it would be very easy to get them to surrender. Do you wanna try to get them to surrender first and then ask them questions? Yeah, I think I'd like to get them to surrender. I'll say you've got one roll, a D20 plus one. Max is confused. Because it's hard to intimidate people in turtle form d20 plus one. Okay

That would be a 14 14 plus one is a 15 were you trying to intimidate Shredette who is the harder that the Hypnotized ones can't be like they're not hearing anybody right now So your choices are Shredette who is hard to convince or the duet gar with the crossbow and the hammer with four hit points left I still would like the Shredette. Yeah. Oh Yep, you're trying against your debt and you got a 15 total Unfortunately, I'll roll if I roll really bad then she is intimidated by you and answering questions Not low enough you in answering questions not low enough you could attack somebody or try to intimidate another Dwaygar including Shredette if you wanted to do we got to

take out the we got a weak Dreygar and if he lives he's gonna wake up use your head I don't what do you guys think what does he mean by we he's turn What do you guys think? What does he mean by we? He didn't do that on his turn. What do you guys think? Yeah, just narrow it down. Tricky, kill the Dwegar. OK. OK. All right, we'll get to it.

So you go for the Dwegar with your Bite Attack in Turtle Form, that'd be a d20 plus 5. We think we need a 16 to hit this Dwegar. Wait, I thought I changed out of Turtle Form. Oh, I'm so sorry. Right, you're no longer in turtle form. So you can either use an attack with your scimitar, or you could use a spell.

Spells are much more powerful. I think I would like to use a spell. Absolutely. Could I use, I'll use the moonbeam, a space laser. Yes. Space laser. You called that. Oh, yes, dude.

I didn't know you had that. Oh, no, yeah. You're using a moonbeam? Oh, yeah, I have a moonbeam. Oh yeah I have a moonbeam. Fucking tell us now! Normally this comes down from the clear sky. Instead it's coming through the ceiling.

It doesn't destroy the ceiling or anything but it passes through the ceiling. And suddenly this big column of light lands on, is it Shredet or is it the Dwegar with four hit points? We're gonna take care of the Dwegar. We'll get to that later. There's something about we're gonna now the beam comes down It could cover I can put it right next to this guy. It could hit you I assume you don't want it to it could also hit the duet gar and Lola I assume you're only trying to hit the duet gar Fuck I don't yeah, I'm willing to risk Lola for sure Absolutely. So the moonbeam comes down,

it's hitting two people in its square. So, I will first roll the saving throw for the duagar. He is failing the saving throw, just barely he will take the full damage. And then I'm gonna need Lola to roll for me a D20 plus three. You need a 14 or higher. And and a four a four is not going to be enough Lola is also taking the full damage which is 2d10 damage so the d10 is sort of shaped like this

it's a shame like a gusher you You roll two of them and add them together. It is like a gusher, you're right. Absolutely. That's one way to know what hippo macs are made of. That's how you just have to refer to all of these dyes. Dang, I think that's been bothering me my whole life. What kind of sweet treat can we compare this to? Now these are going to be forbidden snacks for me for the rest of my life. I'm going to be wanting to munch on these.

So two of them and add them these. Um, okay. So I have two of these. So two of them? And add them together. Alright, first one. Fuck. That would be a one. Oh no. Uh oh.

We want the maximum damage so that we can, I mean, not... Nine! Nine! Nine, there you go. So ten damage. Kills the duagar with the crossbow and the hammer. One duagar finally down. The moonbeam.

However, Lola is caught in the moonbeam. Oh no. Damn it. And instantly incinerated. Oh! I'm sorry she said. I'm sorry she said. But who's Lola was friends with who?

Lola was friends with Ehrlich, who was a lock. She was not just his friend, but his summoned familiar, his spirit that he bound from the nine hell hells now Lola is not dead. She goes back to the nine hells in 24 hours You'll be able to summon her again, but that's probably gonna have a good time going. She's gonna have a good time Right. Yeah, she's going home. She's gonna check on her family and stuff She'll come back soon if you are alive to summon her. And so, Hippo Maximus, amazing turn.

That was your action. Can't think of anything with a bonus action there. So unless there was anything you wanted to do with a bonus action, it would now be Shredette's turn. Anything else you want to do with a bonus? No, I'm willing to pass to Shredette. Absolutely. I'm going to roll.

The higher I roll, the more Shredette wants to run. The lower I roll, the more she wants to make out with Ehrlich so Ooh with a six that's not a very high roll She starts to get ready to run and instead she stops looks at Ehrlich and says we should make out But first we've got to think smart. What should I do? And she looks at norm and gets her weapons ready. Do you think she should attack Norm or do you think she should do something else instead?

She is in front of everyone asking you this. You can say nothing and then you can show- Can I whisper something to her so they don't hear? Yeah, yeah, yeah, she leans in while she's getting her weapon. Attack, attack, attack Norm. But don't, no one else knows I said that. Lutely, 100%. As Norm is trying to lean into your what you're saying norm I'll let you roll a d20 if you roll a 10 that was a good whisper 15 or higher I'm

looking for 17 you heard the whisper the axe is coming down upon you. The first roll is a hit because of advantage from you being reckless. And then the second one is a critical hit against you, Norm, I am sorry to say. And so that is gonna be with her great axe. The first hit is a, ah, would have been a total of a 15.

However, that's only seven damage against you, knocking you back down to 50. It ate up the healing. Then the critical hit hits you. It is gonna hit you. She swung the ax and cut into your shoulder. As you're recovering, I might have to ask Norm,

what would you call your most precious body part? She is critically hitting you so she can hit something very precious to you. Greg, why don't you answer that? Oh. What do you like about me the most? Mm-hmm. Physically, it's your legs, but palate-wise, it's your asshole. Okay.

Absolutely. She does a quick maneuver. Does it jump over you? Lands behind you, brings the axe up, and she's credit card swiping you! Oh no! With the battle axe! I'm sorry to say. No!

And with the battle axe, right up the butthole. She's gonna knock your butthole off. 10 plus five is gonna be, no, plus the four is 14, seven. More damage against you is gonna be, no plus the four is 14. Seven, more damage against you is gonna knock you down to 43 left on Norm the Barbarian out of your original 59. And then, I'm just gonna roll one more time. Yes, she then tries to make a run for it out of the door.

Norm, you can make one more attack against her. She runs if you want. Yeah, I'd love to. I'd love to. She has five hit points left. If you hit her. Now, unfortunately, it's not your turn, so you don't have advantage on this.

You don't get to go reckless on attacks of opportunity. But in spirit? In spirit, you are reckless. Oh, certainly. Thank you. I appreciate that. Absolutely. Clarification.

Yes. Not six. Six plus seven. I'm sorry to say he's a that. Good clarification. Yes. Not six. Six plus seven, I'm sorry to say is a 13, not quite a hit. She runs out the door of the war room again. She is running to the southeast, it seems. Well. And that is going to bring us from the Dwegar turn, because, oh, and let me just roll to see

if she's able to wake up any of her teammates. She would have to roll very high to do that while she's running. Nope. She rolled very low both of her teammates stay hypnotized She runs for the southeastern door. I'm gonna roll to see if she makes it there. She did make it She just barely threw open the door of the southeastern room a room We don't know what is beyond there opened it shut it behind almost instantly, and we thought we heard the ringing of hammers, and we hear some shouting in that room now. We'll get back to Tim Woods and D&D in a second. It's brought to you by aroxon, because we

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And that is going to bring us from the Dwegar turn to Magnus Stieltow gets to go. You want your friend Magnus Stieltow to do anything right now? I want want magna steel toe to bitch slap Erlich certainly he will do that for you Erlich. He's gonna walk up to you. Roll me a d20 plus four for magna steel toe That's a 16 bitch slap 16 plus four is a dirty 20 on the bitch So that is gonna be a hit were you trying to damage him with the bitch slap or just make A point ah a little damage little point little this little that I'm gonna say it's three points of damage in all Against Ehrlich the warlock is it towards his shredder head or oh?

It's a great point were you slapping him in the face given that you don't necessarily know this But the shredder head is floating above Ehrlich's actual gnomish head. No I don't I want to go for lower yeah. I'll say that you she can swipe through realize it's an illusion then still smack him in the face. Okay yeah let's do that. So she realizes he's not as tall as he seems her hand goes right through his head and then she backhands below where shredder's stomach would be it hits Ehrlich right in the face for three points of damage Ehrlich you're down to 42 out of 45 left which puts you norm just one point of damage ahead of Ehrlich right now and That will be the all of the Dwaygar turn and Magnus steel toes turn bring us to norms turn now norm your official

Turn is now up. What would you like to do you saw Shredette run through the southeastern door? You don't know any information about the other doors and you know that there are two hypnotized way gar in the room There's also a map in front of you that you could try to study, but I'll warn you that's not what barbarians No, that's not my I'm not smart. What do you guys think should we go to the door or? I mean she doesn't have the act does she have No, that's not my, I'm not smart. What do you guys think, should we go to the door? Or? I mean, she doesn't have the axe. Does she have the axe? I think the axe has to be with her.

She doesn't have it behind one of the seams. Right, no. We let her live. Yeah, so let's get to, but I think the axe might be behind this last door. I do too, yeah, she was running towards there. Okay, so let's get in there. So, Lutely, you throw open the door

to the Southeastern room, revealing a mighty forge works. There are all of these anvils with chains going above them with like big mine carts and stuff that are hovering by. You see that she is shouting orders at a pair of duagar with goggles on, looking very shredder because of their spiky armor. They pick up these weapons that Norm, since you're looking at them, you can roll a d20 minus one to see if you can figure out what the hell these weapons are. 20.

Oh, a natural 20. Natural 20. You are able to put together what's going on here. These look almost like blunderbusses, an item that does exist in the world of D&D. Primitive simple guns, basically. Except they have little sparks of fire at the end, like a pilot light, kind of, that just keep flickering. They get these weapons, they begin to march towards you with them, pointing them at you, and one of them, I think that's why you got a critical hit had to test his out. He presses the trigger and like a dragon's breath. Okay. These flame throwers are getting closer and closer to you. I'm gonna roll the flame thrower duagar into initiative separately. They are gonna

go after magnuses next turn so luckily you got some. But you notice that in this room there is a, on the eastern side, a pit that drops down into the depths below as if it leads to a third level of this dungeon, it seems. Wow. And just before that pit there is a duagar chained up but not against his will. He's an old duagar. Almost as old as the high priest was. That guy's gotta be a blacksmith. He's gotta be like a worker. He seems like he is managing the forge, giving the orders to the other blacksmiths who have the flamethrowers now and he looks like he's a forge priest of some kind, using forge magic to make better items.

And it is clear that he is in charge of this whole operation in this room, but the stepsister is shouting orders to him, as well as the two guys with flamethrowers right now. You could go for Shredet, you could go for one of the two guys with flamethrowers. The problem with going for the Forge frees up in the air is he's like suspended in midair right now

And it seems like he's guarding the drop-off down below where like the mine carts would start descending down Yeah, there is a system of chains for lowering and raising okay over there guys I think we've stumbled into like a severe slave operation Yeah, my stepsister is keeping all these people against their will making them work for her They would probably hate her way more than we would yeah try to convince me. They're free Yeah, seem like they don't them on our side. I should get yeah true. Okay Sexist can I jump into the pit you could if you really want and I jump into the pit with my boys 100% you could absolutely you'll be running past the guys with the flamethrowers, but they wouldn't get to hit you

You'd be running past for dead She might get to hit you and then you'd be running under the Forge priest and you can try to jump down if you yeah Is that you like to you guys want to jump in the pit? Let's find this fucking axe. Yeah Who's jumping in first? We're all jumping together, but I would like to make sure that when we jump together, I'm holding Greg. Absolutely.

So you grab Greg, you pick him up in your arms. Big arms, right? Yes, absolutely. Huge arms. Only you would be able to carry this guy in full plate mail as you are running. In fact, Roland, as long as you don't get a one you can carry him and you have advantage on this. I got a 17. 17 you're already doing great. You're running full speed right now. Would it be easier if I took off my plate?

No, that would take a long time to do so actually it would be slower in theory. Can Greg roll to see how tiny he feels in my arms? Yes, 100% I roll the tinier you feel Six okay, you actually feel pretty big. You feel you feel strong you feel And you are being carried as you run full speed. Now, as both, first of all, Shredette. We're all jumping in though, but I'm just holding. Absolutely.

So as all of us are running, Shredette's just going to swipe at you once. Ooh, Shredette is hitting you. I'm sorry. As you run by and she goes, no, he's heading for the treasure. He wants the axe. And she hits you, unfortunately, for a total of nine which becomes four damage you shrugged Greg's fine, right? Absolutely. Let me just make sure that wasn't against Greg. It was not okay. She went for Greg You blocked the shot and so you took the four down again

So she was gonna hit Greg, but you moved your shoulder in the way, took the hit for Greg instead. That's a turn on to be quite honest. You might need to roll for it, but I'll say you can declare that 100%. I'd like to declare turned on. Yes, you are officially turned on. Absolutely. You are down to 39 health left just below Erlich now, but you run to the edge. And that is when everybody who is run to the edge and that is when

everybody who is looking over the edge can tell it is a significant drop down. You could jump down but the problem is you don't currently see the bottom and that includes people who have dark vision that goes out 60 feet. So wherever the bottom is, whatever it is, it's further than 60 feet down. Now you could roll a perception check as a bonus action. If you want to see what might be down there before you jump, you could also roll an athletic check, try to grab a chain and then climb down the rest of the way and not risk any damage. But that would be the less. Could I, if I climb down, can everyone get on my back yes 100%

yeah let's climb down everybody's gonna be jumping on to you like a bunch of like mama raccoon with babies on but I'm holding Greg 100% now if everybody is grabbing on to you yeah I'm gonna say that that gives you disadvantage okay that's fine the boys because you're raging you always get advantage on your athletics checks it cancels out. It's going down to a single Roll 1d 20 plus 5 but to climb down and more importantly to catch yourself on the chain You must get a 15 or higher. Oh This is a significant role

Do you want to roll for me? No. Sure? Yeah. Positive? I'm really nervous. We must get a 10 or higher on this. 10 or higher? Can I? 15. Wait no, 10. 10. Can I get a kiss from anyone just to feel more confident? Anyone. I'll choose Greg. Absolutely. Consent? Given. Absolutely. Now, he gives you consent. Do you ask anything else? The hottest thing you can do.

Can you give me an extra point so I can get a nine or higher? You can ask him for consent again now that you have it. And if you do, I'll say you get an extra plus one on that. OK, double consent? You already know you have it. OK. And because you knew you had it, but you asked for consent and drove him a little crazy

An extra plus one on this now. You only need a nine Boys voice power of foreplay 13 13 Enough well done you grab onto the chain and you were able to start 13! 13 is enough! Well done! You grab onto the chain and you are able to start climbing down. And as you do, you think you see there's actually water at the bottom of here, which means you still would have taken damage, but not as much as you thought. But now you can climb down the chain, get into the water if you want.

And you realize you're in like this underground lake complex, you think. The duagar going nuts up there. They're shouting, he's going for the treasure. And one of them shout, should we go down? And the stepsister Shredette says, no, are you kidding me? You want to go down there with night scale I'm not going down there they can die but that one shredder I'm going to miss him maybe

I should help him I'm gonna roll and if she rolls low she's gonna try to help she wants to help save Ehrlich the shredder and so she is gonna try to jump as well. Please Ehrlich since she's under your control roll me a d20 plus Hmm. She only has a plus three on this and she also needs a 15 11 11 with a 14 she jumps to try to help you and you hear her 14, she jumps to try to help you and you hear her splash down into the water. I'm sorry to say she is going to take half of the falling damage, which would have been 80 feet would have been 8d6. She's going to take 4d6 damage and she only has 5 hp left. I'm sorry to say already, Sep Cissure's not dead, but she hits the water, she's knocked out

immediately, and because she's in metal armor, she's sinking, and you know it. However, we think we notice that in this underground lake area, it's like a series of chambers underground and in this lake, and there's one going to the south, there's one going to the north and in the northern tunnel. We think we see an island emerging from out of the lake covered with treasure And there seems to be an axe Sticking out of the top of the treasure boys. There's an island surrounded by miners Glittering treasure all around and we think it's a very remote island, very hard to find.

No cameras. You're not seeing anything. Not a lot of reporting. And so you are definitely seeing beauty. It is clearly the axe of Durgeddon up ahead. Well done, Norm. That is going to bring us to Ehrlich's turn now. Ehrlich, what would you like to do?

How heavy is the axe? The axe is heavy enough that it is difficult, but you could carry it. More or less than 10 pounds. Ooh, here's the thing, it is more than 10 pounds, but I understand what you're going for, and I will let you roll an arcana check to try to pick it up with a mage hands.

Well, yes, absolutely. So you see, suddenly from out of Ehrlich's hand, this glowing hand flies out towards the ax. I would like you to please roll a D20 plus your arcana bonus. If you can get a 15 or higher on this, actually only 13 or higher is all you need to pick up the ax and bring it wherever you want it to go.

Oh! What'd you get? Oh no, what did he roll? He got a one. Oh, one. Is that high enough? Uh oh. We all would have won if you rolled higher. I am sorry to say that here's the thing. Your hand flies over to the axe. It grabs onto the axe.

It picks up the axe and then starts to weaken a little bit. Like it can't do it. Even the axe starts to like phase through the hand a little. And as phase through the hand a little and as you're trying to pick it up You're trying to pick it up It dips down into the water a little bit the hand flickers and then you think You feel something pull on like your hand It's almost like a like a drone kind of like you're feeling something grabs the axe pulls it down into the water The axe is down into the water the axe is gone oh you fucking go into the water you're not sure if you just dropped it or it went

through the hand or something grab it it's hard to tell and that was your action anything you want to do with your mover bonus or like apologize for your selfishness maybe go get the fuck I use a skill or it's too late for that I let you try what skill were you thinking I'd like to go stealth because I feel like bad stuff's gonna happen. Yeah, that's a reasonable thing to do. I'll allow it. Roll me a d20 plus your stealth skill. Do you have the stealth skill? Yeah, plus five.

Absolutely. Nineteen. Nineteen total or before the plus five? Before the plus five. Before the plus five. Twenty-four, ain't nobody noticing you right now. You are stealthed. Not not this is an important detail and something we should remember going forward.

Your teammates cannot see you right now. That is an important detail. You dive down into the water. No one knows where you are underwater. And you're really like in the corner of one of these caverns if you want 100%. Wayne, that is gonna bring us to you next. What would you like to do?

Can you remind me what the powers of the ax were? Oh, we knew all we knew is that the axe had immense power I let you roll an arcana trick to know but we never got concrete answers on what the axe could do Yeah, just sound like a cool thing. It's a really powerful super valuable axe. Yeah, I can roll to see you certainly can Yeah, d20 plus your arcana bonus feels like we should have done this earlier You certainly can. Yeah, d20 plus your arcana bonus. Feels like we should have done this earlier. Very reasonable, 100%. Now that it's within sight, it's even easier, I would say. Die.

Uh-oh. Typically don't count if it falls on the floor if you want to re-roll that. Yeah. It's only a seven. It's only seven plus four. I'm sorry to say that you do not. all you know is it's the most valuable magic item You think you've ever seen I mean we already came all the way down here I think we're pretty committed at this point. Yeah, but if it sucks, we'll turn around Okay, so I Know that Hanks invisible earlyx invisible. Yes. Can I still cast a spell on them? Uh, you

Ehrlich's invisible. Yes. Can I still cast a spell on him? You, mm, depends on the spell. Most spells you need to be able to see him to target him. What spell are you thinking? I was thinking about doing the bestow curse. Oh, you need to touch him to do that. So yes, you very much need to be able to see him, unfortunately.

It's a good call, though. You could roll a perception check, and if you get a critical hit, you'd be able to find him. I also have Mage Hand. You do, yeah. Can I reach down into the water? 100% now that would be an investigation check which I let you use either investigate slide of hand or arcana to see if you can Find the axe in the water. Okay, you said investigate Arcana or what? Yes, I'm a plus five on slide. I go ahead and roll that see if you can find the axe

A sleight of hand, I'm a plus five on sleight of hand. Go ahead and roll that. See if you can find the axe. D20? Mm-hmm. Seven. Seven, absolutely. With a seven plus five, you said, you're fishing around in the water.

You are not quite finding the axe, I am sorry to say. Not yet, anyway. You can try again with your bonus action if you want. What do you think, fellas? Should we go after this axe? You're over two right now. Is there anything else I can do to get this axe? The axe is what we're here for. The axe is what we're here for. Just maybe get closer. Well wait, maybe see what it's all about again. We can't, I don't know who's talking right

now. We can't even see this guy. Does talking give up his location? If he talks in character to us we would immediately know where he is. Well that's what he just did I think. Maybe try to say that out loud. No, no, no, did. Can you roll a yell to him to try to trick him? I'll let you roll a free perception check real quick to see if you heard him talking to himself. Okay what was that? It would be a perception check and I'm really looking for a 20 or higher on this. 20. That's an eight. Absolutely I'm sorry to say he's still very hidden at the moment. You have your bonus action to either inspire somebody, do a healing word, or you could try to find the axe again. I'm going to try to find it again.

Absolutely. Roll me another d20. It's a nine. Nine. Nine plus five. That's better than before with a fourteen. I heard a laugh. I heard a laugh too. To be very honest, the number I've been looking for was thirteen or higher.

You had gotten a twelve before. This time you passed it. Well done. Now here's the thing. You grab the axe. You can feel through your own hand. There's a shaft that you are with your mage hand grabbing onto it. It feels hard, pretty girthy, and it feels magical,

like an enchanted shaft. Where's this feeling been all my life? Yeah, exactly. It feels good, good grip. And as you pull it up out of the water, the hand sort of comes up against something and you realize something else has got the axe. Roll one more time to see if you can pull it out

of the water, if that's what you're trying to do. You got the axe, but now you gotta fight somebody for it. Ooh, okay, how'd you do on that? I only got a six, Tim. Ooh, six, actually. This is surprising to them, actually, so you get to roll one more time. That's a 12. 12, okay, that's enough.

You are pulling the axe out of the water. But what you are also pulling out of the water is the dragon who has grabbed onto the axe from below the water. This dragon has black scales. the horns coming out of its head look like Balrog horns that sweep forward in a radical way, and the Dwaygar upstairs begin to shout, NIGHTSCALE! HE'S HERE! THEY'RE TRYING TO TAKE THE AXE FROM HIM! And the dragon, like a dog who's fighting you for a stick, kind of around the stick sticks starts to get all take my fucking axe Will you the Dwaygar gave that to me for rent? I keep the rent that I get paid give up the axe the treasure's mine And you can do whatever you want. What would you like to do? You say anything back to him or I say fuck you

Oh my god 100% absolutely not on business Absolutely. Now Greg you would be up next. What would you like to do at this point night scale? The dragon looks very tough. This is obviously he's laying claim to this axe right now We could absolutely try to fight the axe grab it it, run out with it if we really want to. Or we could try to escalate this and then we'd be turning this into a part three encounter. Could you kiss anyone? Certainly could. I'll see if I have an action for that. But I would like to call the moth to save Shredet please.. Absolutely, the moth dives down automatically.

Roll me a d20 as long as it doesn't get a one. It finds Shredette and... 12. Absolutely, dives down, dives up out of the water with Shredette and it's like limbs. Okay. And throws Shredette onto his back. Shredette is now safe and unconscious but no longer drowning. Well done.

I would like to kick Hank's girl off her flight. Absolutely. Uh, sorry. Shredette. Absolutely. You want to kick her off the moth, is that right? Yes. 100% back into the water.

Yes. Absolutely, you immediately, automatically just push her back into the water. 100%, she sinks into the water once again. For just a moment, her eyes blinked open, and she said thank you brave Slashback into the water. Well done. Absolutely. And then I would like to do a lay of hands on Norm

Norm by part of him was hurt upon him with that what part of him was my butt hole. Yeah And you really you think it's a bad wound like you gotta get up in there you think yeah, absolutely 100% So you stick your hand up? You're not there yet You're gonna have to keep going a little bit and make sure and gets up there further you are able to ah Activate your healing magic. It feels like the best aloe vera Oh ever felt in fact, you think you're gonna be regular for the next year. It's gonna feel real good. You're gonna be like nice solid chunks. And you are once absolutely able to give him 20 points

of your lay on hands healing, which gets him right up to full hip points. In that case, awesome. And that does eat up your action. So good turn, Greg. And that will bring us to hippo Maximus next but Maximus. What would you like to do? I'm gonna need you to remind me things that I could be doing right now hundred percent you got

You've got animal forms you can turn into right now. The issue is the Dwaygar upstairs. You're just scared down here It's Shredette in the water and a dragon, who is properly speaking, supposed to be part three of this, and we might just need to grab this ax and run away and screw this dragon over completely. Yeah. Could I turn into a hunter shark?

You certainly, yes. What? A hunter shark? Yeah, absolutely, yeah. You've been holding out so much shit on us. 100%, absolutely. Yes. So, Hunter Shark, you turn into your aquatic morph.

Well done. You turn into this bash Hunter Shark and you are just about the same size as this dragon, you're pretty sure. Underwater now, you can see clearly and you can tell that you can see the lower body, like Jaws style, of this dragon as it is fighting for the axe that is

hovering above the water line what would you like to do you could dive out of the water literally jump the shark and you can grab onto the axe or you can bite onto the dragon on the Nards or you can do whatever you want I'm gonna go for the axe you're completely surprising the dragon because the dragon is above water, doesn't see you coming. So go ahead and roll 2d20s plus five for the athletics of the hunter shark form, which is what you use. And I'll tell you right now, the number you need to beat, and I give the dragon disadvantage on this,

is only a 10 total. That's all 10 total. I have two. Yeah, you need to get this. I have two. Plus five on this and you have advantage. You need a ten or higher. So as long as one of them is five or higher, you're good. That would be

a nineteen. Nineteen! Amazing! Then just roll one more time since you get a second roll. Let me know if you get a critical hit, but otherwise you're still getting a lot with a 19 here 16 16 then specifically what you can get with a 19 plus 5 for the hunter shark is you dive up into the air through the air grab the axe out of the hand and Out of the dragon's mouth completely and actually you can roll and try to hold on to the axe But you would need a critical hit to beat him at this point

sure and try to hold on to the axe, but you would need a critical hit to beat him at this point. Making sure. 12. 12 is not enough. You grab the axe from both of them. You dive down to the water, and that is when, and I promise you all, I am not making this up just to give you this opportunity, Max. They, you notice that they, as you dive down so deep,

you weren't expecting to find anything deep down there. You're just trying to get away from the dragon. You notice there is a tunnel that goes underwater and just from your shark senses being able to sense in this water like the smells and environmental changes, it leads out of the mountain entirely to the lake next door to the mountain, you could easily go through this water tunnel with the axe in your grip, and you would be able to escape. So you're saying that Hunter found the crack?

Well. Shut up. That one went over my head, but yes. Absolutely. Is the dragon gonna be an issue? The dragon is no longer an issue for you if you fly through sail through that tunnel. Maybe help us out. Yeah can I can I bring some shredders? You can grab I would say because you got a 24 on your athletics

not only you notice this tunnel you can have everyone just like Norm did grab onto your fins. Well you should grab everyone you can see. That's true. Oh, right. Oh, yeah. Because I can't find one of the Shredders. So just grab all the Shredders you can see. And then he's got to stay. Yeah, that's a good thing, because a shark would eat a turtle. Yeah, yeah.

Oh my god, yes. Oh my gosh. Right, so saving his life. All the Shredders you can see will hop on. Grab all the Shredders you can see. You don't grab any Shredders you don't see. Were any Shredders calling out for help to try to escape just making couldn't hear him right was yeah You call out you were you think you hear a shredder you didn't see calling out. Do you go to that voice or?

No, we're gonna leave that The shredders I can see though there Fuck yeah, the critical hit you could have gotten to that shredder But I think it out a natural 20 you can only grab these shredder code Also, I feel like I'm watching Ninja Turtles again. And you were absolutely able to have everyone grab onto your fins and tail. You go out of the secret tunnel that is the Dragon's Way into and out of this mountain because he's an aquatic dragon. Eventually he will try to find us, but we're too fast for this dragon.

And with your athletics check of 24 total you get to the lake change back we all spill on to the shore and sure enough you can bring the axe back with you to town and you have complete question Tim yes so after we get out of the water does great does he need mouth-to-mouth? Probably. I think he was a really. I inhaled a bunch of water. Anyone who is just a human would need some mouth-to-mouth. That's what I thought. Strong people can do it? Strong people would be the best. OK, all right.

Some CPR. I'd like to save mouth-to-mouth. Who cast the spell that puts my mouth on my dick? Oh, I think that's what happens if you heal your wounds in a certain way. You did. Like the ogre, when his deck fell off, you healed his dick. So obviously we can switch dicks around and stuff. I think that'll be the thing.

Absolutely. And so, bringing the axe back with you, you are able to lay claim to the axe, and you have succeeded at the adventure, the Forge of Fury. Love it. Love it. And you did it in two sessions, which is only one group of AWLs was able to do it. Maybe two groups was able to do it in just two sessions. Also follow up to what would happen to a turtle that was left in the lake with an angry dragon

whose method of action was to go away. Real quick. I'll let one turtle roll just to see. Oh, with a natural one No, you live and live on in that and I can just go save my girl Dragons hunting you go back to the stepsister And the two of you can like retire Charmed you can't charm that's kind of grim. But yeah, absolutely

Poisoned and you would essentially if you have control of her with charm You kind of take over the Dwaygar a little bit But unfortunately don't have the axe anymore to go back and kill the Dwaygar's the dragons really mad also Yeah natural inclination to avoid scales But I can convince the dragon to go get the axe back Okay, well that was incredible Tim That was so much fun Good adventure We all made it to the end. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We all made it. We're the answers. We're the answers. We always are. We as shredders always share the ax. And fuck turtles. I'm forgetting basic shredder information.

I feel so silly. It's a lot to keep track of. So well done, you share the ax, and you are winning the day. Well done, everyone. Okay, so Tim, I had one, that was so much fun. I have a rollback question. Absolutely.

R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com promo code take 20% off first purchase Queues, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, rollback question. I saw you you've been doing games for a bunch of AWLs Yes, have they been flying you out? Oh, yes. Yeah, I was just Two weeks ago. I've gone to other places around here I think there are some AWOs in Chicago who have brought me out actually, so I always try to sync up with them and stuff. I love it. But yeah, it is. I will just say that like I love running games for AWOs. I think at this point, 50% of my clients are like AWOs.

It is so right. Because what I do is now that I've like run Forge of Fury, I've been running another adventure for them. So next time I see you guys, I'm going to have to run that adventure that they've all been playing. So far, I think like maybe 25 groups have done this next adventure I've got planned. Once I run it for you, I have to retire it and then start a new adventure for the AWL. So they kind of move through seasons, kind of. And if you want to get in on the current season before we play again on the podcast, now is your only chance. Once I run on the podcast, it has to get retired. And I will also be at some conventions in Indianapolis and the origins Convention in Columbus and one in Orlando. Yes, I might see you there. Absolutely

So I always tell a WL's if you want a discounted game with me, I'll be running games there So especially if you're already going to that convention Please say hi to me if nothing else And just for people who are in New York, I am running after school programs in New York. And currently we are looking for more schools to expand into. But so if you have like young people who are looking for a D&D club at their school, I'm providing that in New York and in other areas. And if you are a dungeon master who is looking to dungeon master for kids, we actually need more dungeon masters I love that. I think we we should go to one of these. Where's the indie one?

Yeah, the Indianapolis one is Gen Con It is the biggest Dungeons and Dragons convention in the world and if you guys were there I could take you on the whole tour That's my Round when is it? It is in August end of all. Yeah What is it? It is in August end of August. We're in. Yeah We're going to that convention. Absolutely. That sounds amazing. Also at some point I mean convention yes 100% because I gotta show you what those are like also LARPing at some point Yeah, this is my LARPing kit and I haven't gotten a LARP very much at all But the people who LARP make me look like a casual. They are hardcore. Will they be LARPing in Indie?

There will be people in costumes in Indie. 100% including myself. We got to get wild at these conventions. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Absolutely. All right. Well, Tim, you're the best. We love you all so much and thank you for listening. Absolutely. Love you guys. That was great. Great job guys. Okay. Let's wrap up the show numbers Five one thirty three Three 11 you mean would say max 11 why 11 I always do 11. Oh, that Shane does 11. No She missed 21 Oh. I thought Shane does 11. No. I've done 11. I've passed 13. Shane does 21.

18! Jake Marsh. Very cool. Very cool, Jake. Very cool. Alright, we'll see everyone Monday with Ryan Roscillo. Love you guys. So I'm going to go ahead and get started. So So So So Thanks for watching!