Pardon My Take - Brian Baumgartner (Kevin Malone), Bill & Melinda Gates Break Up, Lebron Will Never Be The Same and FAQ’s

Episode Date: May 5, 2021

Love is dead again. Bill and Melinda Gates have broken up and there’s no reason to live anymore (2:42 - 9:29). Tom Wilson is back in the news and some people want him arrested and banned for life (9:29 - 19:01). Update on the Aaron Rodgers situation and Lebron will never be the same (19:01 - 31:15). Hot Seat/Cool Throne (31:15 - 43:27). Brian Baumgartner joins the show aka Kevin Malone from the Office to talk sports, Hollywood, The Office and more (43:27 - 86:52). We finish with some great listener submitted FAQ’sYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have an awesome interview with Brian Baumgartner. You know him as Kevin Malone from The Office. One of those interviews where we came across being like, damn, that guy's cool and we really want to have him back on. So must listen, we're going to talk a little hockey suspensions with Tom Wilson.

We have a little Aaron Rodgers update. We have Hot Seat Cool Throne. We have FAQs. We have a ton of stuff for you, and it is brought to you by our friends at Movement MVMT in a tiny apartment in Southern California. Two college dropouts teamed up to create a watch company that broke all the rules with fair prices, unexpected colors, and clean original designs. Movement grew into one of the fastest growing watch brands, shipping to over 160 countries

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out or wash in, and then I can't save all on the sun, oh no, we're gonna rock it down to electric avenue, and then we'll take it higher, oh, we're gonna rock it down to electric avenue, it's pardon my take presented by law school sports. Welcome to part of my take presented by movement MVMT.com slash pardon for 15% off glasses, eyewear, jewelry, all of it at movement.com slash pardon, today is Wednesday, May 5th. I'm trying to play the song. May the 5th be with you? May the 5th be with you.

It's gonna be May. There we go. Bill and Melinda Gates are no more. True love has had a rough month, man. They both did a thing. They're dead. Really tough. Really tough.

Although Bill Gates is gonna have a kick-ass bachelor party, they do need to have a divorce party, and they need to get the whole gang from the Windows 95 debut back together. Have Steve Ballmer up on stage clapping it up for his boy, gasses bro up. Steve Ballmer is definitely the dude on a bachelor party who over-plans every detail. It's like, all right, we're gonna go fucking play some golf, 8am, we're gonna go to a nice awesome lunch spot that I found that I rented a boat, then we got a dinner, it's like, dude, we just wanna fucking get drunk, stop planning everything, everything's gotta be spent in a cab or an Uber because of you Steve, chill out.

You know what though, it's good to have one person that's like that just so that you can break some of the plans later because it's good to have like one activity to do, but then you get the boys to be like, hey dude, chill out. You're planning this out way too much, but you gotta know the rules so that you can break them. Yeah. It's a very smart person. Rule breaker.

It's just sad. Someone put Chrissy and John into a safe house. Bubble wrap them. Shout out. Shout out Melinda Gates. I can't take any more of this. I'd like to not have officially moved on from Miley Cyrus because I am totally on the McKinsey Bezos slash Melinda Gates, whichever one, dude, the fucking the like worship that people

do of rich people online is so fucking funny when they're like McKenzie Bezos and Melinda Gates are going to team up and Hank, girl boss energy, are going to solve climate change. Yeah. That's not what's gonna happen. So they're still gonna be rich. Stop. They're not a girl boss. You don't like the girl boss.

That was a good one show thing. I think. No, no, no. I was going to put it to bed until you just told you to put it to bed. I know I asked. No, no, no. That's what that is. That's girl boss energy.

Telling us to put it to bed. I asked. I rewind the tape. I literally asked. I said, can we stop? Okay. All right. I'll stop.

But Big Cat gets one show. Yeah. And then we'll see how I feel on Friday's show. But yeah, it does. It's sad, man. It's sad seeing all these billionaires break up. Like, what are they going? They should build their own fucking stadiums.

When you cut them, do they not bleed? Just like us, Hank? Do their hearts not break in half? Do they not feel the pain of losing true love? Does Bill Gates not get depressed when he logs on to Microsoft Word and clippy pops up saying, hey, looks like you're trying to write a prenuptial agreement. Right. He definitely gets depressed when he realizes, you know, he doesn't have a prenupt.

Yeah, he doesn't. No. Oh, having 130 billion dollars is nice. But would you, is it worth losing half of it? I'm ready to risk it all for Melinda Gates. I'm for one. I'm shocked when I read a story about how before they got married, Bill Gates wrote out on a whiteboard pros and cons of marrying Melinda Gates.

That's true love. That is true love. I can't believe that didn't last. Pro. We enjoy similar recreational sports. Yeah. Con, I think she's just marrying me for my money. Pro, much like Henry Lockwood, girl boss energy.

Big girl boss energy. So what does this mean about the people that, I know that they were digging a lot of wells and solving malaria, are they just saying like, fuck it? No, they said they were going to, they were going to still combine their powers to solve all the world's problems. Because I was thinking that maybe. And pay 0% tax. Maybe like the bridge too far was knowing that Bill had microchips implanting and everybody

across the world. And she was like, listen, Bill, I was fine with you killing millions of people a year. But now that you're harvesting souls of babies and putting your chips and everyone's had, we're done here. I would just love like, it would be such a great heel turn if Bill Gates just became a huge stoolie and like started mining like smoke show of the days for his rebound. Hell yeah. Why not?

Guess that ass. Dude, you're fucking out there, bro. Man. Let's have some fun. We sing, as the king of New York little sass says, the boys are singy this summer. What has to happen in order to like finalize a divorce where there's that much money involved? Because it's like, I think she's entitled to like 40 billion, 30 billion. I think whoever's the lawyer gets, they just hit the jackpot.

Yeah. Because they basically are going to spend the next like two years writing up all this shit and get paid millions and millions of dollars. Like what would you, if you're a lawyer and you charge already, let's say 10K an hour for high priced divorces, what do you bump that up to? Is it surcharge pricing like Uber? We're like, oh, actually a lot. Well you saw Bezos get a divorce too, Bill.

Yeah. So unfortunately it's going to be $100,000 an hour. I like to think that Bezos- Is 10K an hour an actual thing? Yeah. I'm sure there's some high price lawyers. Like super high priced lawyers. They're probably on retainer.

Yeah. They probably have like a guy that just sticks around in case they need to get a divorce. If you're that rich, you just have like your brake glass in case of infidelity guy. Yeah. He's just hovering around at all times. You guys seem like, was that fight a little too serious? Yeah. Definitely trying to break you up all the time.

I saw that Bill didn't, you know, put the seat back down. Should I get the papers going? Couldn't hope. But notice that Mr. Gates hasn't reciprocated oral in quite some time. Yeah. No, Bill Gates is a pussy either. I like to think that Jeff Bezos got his divorce and then pressured Bill into getting his because if you're Jeff Bezos and you become the richest single guy in the world, you know, going back

to the analogy of a bachelor party. If you are the only person in your bachelor party that has a good job, you feel like you're imposing on them. If you're like, hey, do you guys want to go to Cabo? Yeah. Do you want to go somewhere cool? If you're Jeff Bezos and you have, I don't know, $50 billion more than the second richest guy in the world.

Like you can't plan a good like vacation. You can't plan your singly life around that. You need to have a friend that's at least half as rich as you to also get divorced. So Elon's next. I don't know. He seems like he's got pretty stable energy. Yeah. Yeah.

You're right. He's extremely happy. Well, he's got SNL. We're actually going to write some mock sketches for him on Friday before his SNL on Saturday is when they do it. Right? They do Saturday Live. I just paused.

I was like, yep, it's in the name Saturday. It's actually Sunday morning. True. For the most part. If you're in Newfoundland. Two thirds of the show is on Sunday morning. Yeah. If you're in Newfoundland, the whole show.

It should be at SML. Halifax. SNM Live. Mm-hmm. Is what they should call it. All right. Let's talk some sports. The biggest sports story we have.

Was that not sports? That was sports. But the biggest sports story we have today is Hockey Twitter getting very upset because Tom Wilson did a thing again and by a thing, I mean he punched some people in the head. It's sussy talk. Yeah. Hockey Twitter is, you're right when you tweeted out that there's like no gray area when it comes to suspension talk or NHL player safety talk, which is why I didn't even watch the

hit last night. Everyone sent it to me and I was like, I'm not even going to watch it. I'm doing a digital cleanse. I didn't want to comment on it until this morning because really at that point, the only thing they're commenting on is you're saying like, what can I say that will make the fewest amount of people upset at me? Right. And when it comes to Tom Wilson, he's a player that is like, he plays on that edge, on that

like weird line between being extremely violent and extremely useful to have on your team. He crosses a little bit. He crossed it a little bit last night and, uh, buddy, he crossed it. Well, here's a quote from a prominent journalist. I'm going to read for you real quick. Tom Wilson is a psychopath. This time is the last time ban him for life. Arrest him.

Hashtag capitals. Hashtag psycho. Keith Overman. Yeah. So he had like a hundred tweets about Keith Overman advocate for him to be arrested. New York post advocate for him to be kicked out of the game for life and possibly arrested. There were a lot of people that were just saying like, lock him up. There were a lot of him up chance going on about Tom Wilson.

And the one thing that people love to do on, uh, on hockey suspension Twitter is they always at the Department of Player Safety. Yes. They always make sure to tag them very helpfully in the tweets, the videos. And it's impossible to go back and look at the videos that are taken frame by frame. It's like there's a pruder film and you're watching Panarin's head go back into the left back as he's like pulling on it and things happen in real time. And there's people forget they play hockey on ice.

They do. It's very slippery. The Tom Wilson's a clumsy guy. But yeah, obviously he's a, uh, he's a piece of shit. I don't want, but I don't think he should have been banned or arrested for life or anything like that. I think it's there's got to be a middle ground. We got to find a new word that even Tom Wilson and capitals fans can call Tom Wilson because

yeah, he is, but he's our piece of shit. No, that's fine. I never. Capitalist fans, like anyone who gets mad at capitals fans for defending their guy, they just aren't sports fans because this is what you do as a sports fan. You defend your guy, even if all the evidence is, Hey, your guy's a piece of shit. My, my like middle ground is that, uh, Keith Oberman wants him arrested and then the NHL gives him a $5,000 fine.

That feels like two very like severe ends of the spectrum. It felt like I do not think that that was some egregious arrest him. He's a psychopath. I think he, like you said, he plays on the edge and if we're going off on a tangent real quick, it's kind of in a weird way. The NFL's or the NHL's fault for, uh, getting fighting in goons out of hockey because Tom Wilson is kind of the apex predator now. Yeah.

Like if there were still goons, a goon would fuck Tom Wilson up and it would be taken care of and he wouldn't be doing this. He's a hybrid goon. He's right. He's like half goon. He's the half. He's the tallest man left kind of thing. Like he, like if it were 15 years ago, there would be someone who would fuck him up and

he wouldn't be doing this shit, but now he knows there's no real repercussions. And so somewhere around like maybe a couple games just to show like, Hey, I think if more than anything, it's very hard to make the argument. We care about player safety and then not, and then only give him a $5,000. Uh, without, that was the max amount that they could find him under the CBA was $5,000. Beyond that, they would have to sussy him for a little bit and they should have sussied him for a game. Then maybe, I don't know.

Can you sussy a guy for a game? Why not? I was so I was saying that like Panarin's going to be out for the rest of the season. So he should be out for at least Ellen, but parents out because the Rangers aren't going to make the playoffs. Not because three games left injured him, but like if you do watch the replays, it could have been pretty ugly. He's just you can definitely look at that and say like there was there was a chance

that there could have been a severe head injury or a neck injury on the body slam. Yes. I feel like that's Tom Wilson when he is like trying to fuck you up. He doesn't stop to think like, am I slamming this person to the ground too violent? I'll put it this way. If Tom Wilson was a rhinoceros in a protected game reserve, they would have to have put him down just because he's naturally too aggressive at things. Yes.

So you're kind of leaning on the Keith Overman ban him arrest. No, no, no. I don't kill him. Murder him. Because we can't, we can't let the cure be worse than the disease. If Tom Wilson is out of the league, then who is going to police the game from players like Tom Wilson? Right.

Right. Tom Wilson. Yeah. I, it's just so like it usually is right around playoff time when we get just the absolute like chaos that happens from debating these type of things and it's not, I honestly don't think it even touches like targeting in football. Like like it's so far the debate on hockey suspensions, whether he should be suspended hits, all these things is by far the most heated, like polarizing debate in all sports

because fighting is allowed. Right. You know what I mean? Like if there was, if a guy was throwing punches in the NBA, you're like, okay, that guy's suspended. We know that we're here. It's like, okay, there is obviously is a gray area of guys can fight. So if they start throwing punches, it's not immediately like that's the worst thing ever.

I think so I tweeted out that he or someone, sorry, Tony, Tony Nargi WX said that we should have a funnier penalty for Tom Wilson, like the fact like he should have to fight three guys at center ice before the next game gladiator style. Okay. I thought that was a good idea. And I threw in, it would be funny if Tom Wilson had to play an entire game in sneakers. I think that's fair too. And then someone else.

What about this? I don't want him to play, but he is the only player that doesn't get to wear a helmet. I like that. I think it's like a punishment fits the crime type situation where like put him out there and let him be subject to other apex predators for a while. Yeah. And then someone, the last one I liked was, uh, he's got sick flow. Alex.

He does. Alexandra Daigle. Uh, Alexandra seems like a French dude, uh, Daigle said, uh, the cap should get to keep Tom Wilson, but he has to play one game on a line with Owen Wilson and Luke Wilson. Okay. And just watch him get his shit kicked out of him. I like that. Yeah.

That would be fun. Listen to it. Like funnier penalties, especially at the end of the season, like let's just the last game of the season. Let's just, let's funny's find him. I don't want to see anybody get hurt or injured. I don't want to see him. He kind of do.

I don't know. I know you love Tom Wilson. I love having Tom Wilson on my team. I think that like 99% of the time when he plays, he plays like you want to hockey. You're complicit dude. If he killed someone, you'd be part of the class action loss. I went back over the last 18 months. He's only been suspended once in the last 18 months of play.

I'm just, I'm more, I'm looking out for you. If Keith Oberman decides that he wants to take, uh, legal action against Tom Wilson, you will be liable. I, I am telling Tom Wilson and because people do seem to think that I speak for Tom Wilson. Tom, listen to me very closely. If you injure somebody, uh, because of a reckless hit or a negligent hit, uh, I disavow. I'm telling you not to do that right now. Very clearly.

I want you to hit people hard within the rules and injure them in the course of a normal clean hockey play. I don't know if. Not severely. Yeah. I don't know if Panarin, like, like you said, like there's three games left. So they're probably just sitting him. If they were fighting for the playoffs still, maybe he plays, but it does feel like an easy

way to fix this in hockey is just you're suspended for as long as a guy's injured. Yeah. Like that's so easy. Yeah, that makes sense. But then you also have to look at what happens on the other end. If like a team sees that, like if a superstar, like a great player for one team injures a scrub on another during a playoff series, if I'm the coach, I'm like, you're milking that lower body injury.

You didn't let me finish. The other teams doc, the teams doctors gets to review the player. They switch. The teams. Doctors have to switch. Okay. That makes sense. I like that.

Yeah. That's not a hippo violation. No, not at all. Because you make them switch. I do want to give a shout out to the Washington Capitals Twitter account. Oh, that was bad for posting the most ridiculous tweet ever with a meme that just made no sense about Tom Wilson, like right after the game was over. It was during.

I thought it was after. No, I'm pretty sure it was during. I thought it was after he got the empty net or at the end and they posted this and it's a meme that makes no sense. Like part of it is Tom Wilson and shows from the neck up. There's the troll face going rent free. And then from the neck down, it said something else. It's just a lot of sheesh.

And then in the tweet itself, it said Tom Wilson woke up and selected violence with a check. It was like, you know what that is? I thought I was having a stroke watching. You know what that is? I thought it was a great job by the capital's social media department to get everyone online mad at them and not mad at actually Tom Wilson. True.

But that's Chuggy as fuck. It was. The chose violence caption is Chuggy. It is Chuggy. I spot it. It's like now that we know what Chuggy is, it's like when you buy a car and then you see your car. You see the red everywhere.

Everywhere. Yeah. I can spot Chuggy left and right. That's how I am with Doge's right now. I've seen like three Sheba Inus over the course of last week. That is Matrix. That's the Matrix. That's the Matrix stuff.

But yeah, I listen, I agree that Tom Wilson, if anything, Tom Wilson should be suspended for his own protection against all the online harassment he's dealing with these days. He's the real victim. All right. Other news we have. Aaron Rodgers seems like it's getting worse. Seems like its damage control is going on by the Packers. I don't know if you saw but Rappaport or maybe Schefter, I just combined them at this point,

is doing damage control for the GM of the Packers. They basically were like, people forget that the Packers tried to trade up to get a wide receiver last year but a wide receiver was taken right before them so they had to end up taking a quarterback. Of course, everyone forgets that. So it's clear they're trying to spin that. Also Terry Bradshaw called Aaron Rodgers dumber than a box of rocks, which coming from Terry Bradshaw, that is one of the funniest quotes ever.

Yeah. What's the old saying about Terry couldn't spell rocks if you spotted them, the R, the O and the X. Yes. Like Terry is not a smart guy but Terry owns it. That is what we expected to be coming from Brett Favre. Yes. That quote, Terry Bradshaw might be usurping Brett Favre.

He might be Favre cocking him. Yeah. No, you're absolutely right. I think Favre probably just sitting there like, am I back? Yeah. Is it my turn now? We also had Devonte Adams send out a cryptic tweet that said, got to appreciate what you got while you got it.

Heartbreak again. All our heroes are breaking, all our A-Rods are breaking up right now. I just want them to be happy. I think it's, I also saw on Get Up, they basically said, is Aaron Rodgers too sensitive? I'm actually concerned about our friend Dan Orlovsky. Yes. Is he okay? No.

Is he mentally well? We do have to have him on the show eventually. I saw him the other day and he was crying on television because Aaron Rodgers doesn't have enough help. He was like, he was honestly like, his eyes were red, they were watering. He was just staring at the camera and couldn't believe that people were disrespecting Aaron Rodgers by saying that Devonte Adams is good. I kind of like this though because we, you know, we clowned on Dan when he, when he notes

apt all of us right in our fucking face after the week 17 Eagles Washington football team game. And we clowned on him, but maybe this is what we need. We need a guy who just wears his heart on his sleeve and has like, you know, when his quarterback or quarterbacks screw up or want to trade, he gets emotional. I like that because you know what? It is not good. What get up is doing saying is Aaron Rodgers too sensitive.

That is the hyper masculinity. I will not stand. It's toxic, honestly. It's toxic masculinity. Like if anything, they, they should be encouraging Aaron to follow his heart and his dreams. And get a trade with Broncos. I was going to say to, to Merv Griffin Enterprises. That's fine too.

Whatever. Either or. I'll take either or. But yeah, it's, it's like when Mark Brunel, you remember when he cried about the New England Patriots deflating football? That was honestly great. We need that. We need that.

We need people to care about stuff that much on our televisions. I just, I just want to make sure that Dan's doing okay because I was, I was taken aback as to how emotional he was getting about the treatment of Brett Farve by his general manager. We will get him on eventually. We also had. So. I have an idea. Yeah.

This might be something that we can say as, I guess as a collective, we are owners of the Green Bay Packers. Our fish laring was, I purchased a secondary share off the market. I think as a podcast for owners of the Green Bay Packers and tying back into what you were talking about with billionaires owning soccer teams and how like you can protest against the American billionaire, but another billionaire that cares about their money is going to come over and do exactly what billionaires do. What about this idea?

Back in ancient Greece, there was a concept called sortition. So they didn't have elections. They didn't have democracy as we know it. They didn't have mayors. What they would do would be once every year or two, they would pick a name out of a hat from all the citizens that lived in the town, and that person was their president for the next two years. And it sounds fucking crazy because it is, but also it kind of encourages people, encourages

you to make sure that all the kids are going to be well educated because any one of these shitheads could end up being your boss one day. Yeah. No, we should. Absolutely. It would be cool. We owned the teams and we voted on coaches and GMs and all that stuff and then imagine having like a recall, like imagine a coach fucking up in week 10 and then you're like

emergency election, everyone vote, should we fire his ass or not? It would make sports so much more fun because that's what we do as fans. We love to just yell about firing guys and get this guy out of here, having the ability to actually do it. So let's fucking go. So the problem with that would be like coaches would get fired after every single loss. Like yeah, which I'm cool with every team. I don't know what's the problem.

Every team would fire these guys have families because they have to reenroll them in schools. No, they are. That sounds like a good solution. What I think is we should do that, except you should be able to vote the owners out, but the owners get installed by the city just at random. No, there are no owners. You just select a random person to run the team from the pool of citizens that live in any given city.

And then that owner makes coaching decisions, then you can fire the owner prematurely if you need to. Yeah. I'm in for all of it. Because I do think that having. I just want to fire someone. Yes. Having somebody tied in to the local community is what we need.

I want Matt Nagy fired and I want to rehire him then fire him again. That's actually would be incredible to get the satisfaction of keep firing the guy that you hate. Well, that's what people are saying to do with Tom Wilson. People are like. Well, he's no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Arrest. Bring him back to life.

Psycho path. Arrest him. Kill him. Bring him back to life. Resuscitate him. Kill him again. Arrest him. Arrest his ass.

Fucking do it. All right. Other thing we had. We missed this story on Sunday, but it needs to be mentioned. LeBron James is laying the groundwork for one of the greatest underdog stories of all time, even though he's widely acclaimed as the second best basketball player of all time and still the best basketball player in the NBA. LeBron James came back from his ankle injury.

Bron James said he on his first game back, he said his ankle was a little tight. And he said that he is or sorry, he said getting back to 100% is impossible. I don't think I'll ever be back to 100% in my career. And then also said he still thinks he at the point where he feels like he can help the team win. Come back player of the year. Or little LeBron James is just out there. And you know what?

If he didn't think he could help the Lakers win anymore, he'd probably bench himself, but he thinks he can probably chip in a little and help these guys win, even though he'll never, ever be 100% again. I also think he was coming off the heels of the news where he was like they should fire whoever came up with the playoff scenario. That's where he was trying to. That and also he's not getting vaccinated. Well, he's trying to get some sympathy for being like, listen, I'm injured.

I'm probably taking like heavy doses of Tylenol. Who knows how my brain's working right now. Did he actually say I'm not getting vaccinated? No, but Dennis Schroeder, him and LeBron are the only two that haven't been vaccinated. They haven't gotten it yet. It should be so funny if the playoffs happen and he asked to like quarantine if he gets like, like what would happen? That would be a real shame.

That would be wild. That would be a real shame. Real shame. That'd be all I was going to say kind of what PFT was saying. Junior guy at the same time. Yeah, it would be wild. He said whoever made the rule up should be fired. But if you go back to March, 2020, he said you got Portland, you got Memphis,

New Orleans, Sacramento, tinkering around there. So if there's five or 10 games left, why not have those guys play and battle it out and play each other all five games? So quick question. I'm just curious. What's the difference though this year? There is no difference. No, there's no.

Isn't there the Lakers? Where are they? They must be first. So it doesn't matter. They're five right now, but seven Portland. There's two teams that are one game behind. Oh, so they're close to the playing game now. Oh, interesting.

I was playing down there, Hank. Last season finished up the exact same way, right? Last season went, you know, the standard NBA postseason through June, right? Nothing after that. That's pretty normal. Yeah, yeah, the LeBron. LeBron being like, I'll never be a hundred percent again. That I think that's better than the pretty much broken hand.

You know how you say like, the one thing that I will say that's kind of that's kind of relatable though, like, I'm never going to financially recover from this. He's got no, he's I actually. I mean, there's moments in my life that I'll never be a hundred percent again. Right. Yeah, I actually like kind of laughed at that because that's kind of relatable where it's like, I'm never, you know, I'm never going to be a hundred percent again. It's like when you're really, it's like when you're really hung over on a Sunday

and you have to go to work the next day, I'm never, I'm never going to be. I'm never going to feel normal again. Yeah. Have you have you ever sprained an ankle? It's worse than a break. Yeah, it is. I sprained my ankle on an uncontested layup once, but I was there. Yeah, I sprained my ankle like every other day. Have you been a hundred percent since then?

Well, yeah, I'm, you know, I'm built different than your man child. Yeah, I would say I would say right now I'm I'm sixty seven percent of my hundred percent and I'm going down. OK, I'll never be higher than sixty seven percent. I want up the LeBron. I will never be higher than like if a hundred percent is you feel incredible, great shape, like good weight, all these things, mentally, you know, rested, all that.

I'm sixty seven percent of a hundred percent. I think I'm seventy five percent of a hundred ten percent. OK, when I was at my max. Yeah, you were. But you know what? I were also a little bit younger than LeBron James. I like a month by one month by exactly one month. So yeah, he's in his old age.

It's harder to recover from those nagging little injuries. Thoughts and prayers, though, to him. He'll never be a hundred percent again. I just love the fact that he said I still think I can help the team win. OK, thanks, LeBron. That's it's the it will be the greatest comeback of all time. Well, you can't have an ankle transplant. They can't just like Alabama would disagree.

They would do. He needs to go visit Nick Saber. Alabama. I think they like they transplant every ankle on that team when they show up as freshmen. They do preemptive ankle surgery. It's like it's like a circumcision down there. Yes, they have a moil come in and he's like that's the tip of your tendon off.

We're just going to put we're just going to fucking wrap this wire around your ankle real quick when you show up. I don't know if it's like medically advisable to do, but it definitely makes you get drafted higher. Absolutely. I mean, Achilles, the ankle brought down the greatest warrior of all time. That's true. Big Ben. Yeah, absolutely. And also his nose. Yes. And and every other part of his shoulder, his head, his own brain,

his penis to the pornography addiction. Yep, all of that stuff. All right, let's get to Hot Seat Cool Throne. And then we got Brian Baumgarner on, you know, Miss Kevin Malone. By the way, we interviewed him before all the Aaron Rodgers stuff, unfortunately, so it was just general. He's a big Aaron Rodgers fan. Wish we had been able to really stick it to him there.

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the typical experience from start to finish and also don't have to wait in line. You get that text message. It's unbelievable. So go check them out. Sport clips, check them out and they will make sure you're looking great for the summer season. Hank, my hot seat is I had a few. The first one was the Lakers. We just talked about it, though. OK, my second one, thankfully, had multiple per usual was the kids,

the youth, our future, euthanasia. The youth of the nation are we are there was a release today that the New York City public schools will have remote learning instead of snow days next year. That's so that that might be the new now that they've kind of built in the online learning curriculum. They can kind of use that and instead of snow days, just do online learning, which is just terrible. I feel I feel bad for the youth.

I feel bad for the kids. We need an Alex Jones for children to get the kids really pissed off about this and start a fucking revolution, because like there is actual inherent value in what you do on snow days when you're by yourself as a kid and the shit that you get into the mischief, like all the stuff that you do on those days actually translates into like real life learning. And you're not going to get that by sitting in front of a computer. All right, I'll zag on this.

I actually am OK with this for two reasons. One, the snow days that obviously means that summer starts earlier, which is awesome, because that's how they always build it. There's five built in ones. OK, but but you won't have any. There won't have to be any, right? So your summer will start earlier. And there's no fucking way when you're on zoom learning, you're actually doing anything.

That's better than a fucking like substitute teacher. No, no. You think kids are learning on zoom learning? I can guarantee. No, I know. I'm saying that they're like they would learn more not being on zoom learning and going out into the wild and having your day by themselves. They can still do that when they're when they're on zoom learning. They have to be in front of the computer the entire time and it sucks. But they can still do that.

Like they do a couple of classes at home and then they go out and have fun in the snow. And summer starts. No, you got classes all day. Yes, you do. It's like two. Yeah, you got classes. You have to start at seven. Yeah. So what? It's a snow day. You wake up. This is you check the TV.

You see if you see girls on the bottom line. I think I think zoom learning. Then you have to watch it. Side of history. No, I think if you hit it, you just go back to sleep. If you ask the kid, if if you ask the kid, like zoom learning is a complete fucking joke. They probably. Yeah, that's not what we're saying. I know, but we agree that it's a complete joke.

I would rather get summer early. Hank, you love summer. I love summer. You love summer. But I also love, you know, that's a future me thing. Give me snow days 10 days a week. But I still think doing like not because I haven't been going to like class. It'd be like June 13th. If we had school passed, like no one gives a fuck at the end of the year anyway.

Right. But not having to go into school still feels like different once once the snow days have announced. What you're forgetting is that there's there's something magical about being a kid, not being prepared for whatever assignment that was there the next day or a quiz that you were not ready for. And then getting like a finger of God coming down in your town and being like, guess what? I'm going to help you out on this one.

You don't have to go in. Instead, you can go daydream at your neighbor's house, whose parents both work like you're drinking on this. That became a yeah, when you're like 17 years old. Oh, now 17 is totally I'm talking about like I think you were talking about imagination is like a 12 year old. You're you're talking about everyone. You could daydream while you're on zoom.

I'm just 17 years old. That's not the same. We tried doing zoom happy hours back in March. That lasted like a week. Listen, I just I know summer like summer starting earlier would be fucking sick. No, I mean, it's awesome. And so it's like one or two days. But this is it's New York.

No, it doesn't even snow in New York. You need snow days. It doesn't even the kids need the snow days. I think once you once you get back to having to go to school every day, a zoom day will feel like a snow day. That's my point. All right, next thing on my cool throne is our very own PFC commentator. Oh, D.K. Metcalf. So you're just going to take my cool thrones. That's fine.

Well, how am I supposed to know what you had? Do you want to go first? All right, now you can go. I mean, what do you want to do? You're doing a great job. Yeah, I mean, clearly. Do you want to go? I don't know why I can't I can't be picking my hot seat about you boss. That's me today. Hey, go.

I can't be picking my hot seat cool throne thing about what you're picking. I just got a tunnel vision. That's fair. My cool throne. And I didn't think you're that conceited. I didn't think you were that selfish, conceited, like you're going to talk about yourself. You know, I was actually going to say something else. This is clearly D.K. Metcalf, who PFC beat in a race, 100 yard dash, think it was 40 yard dash in our office.

He has been training and is possibly going to be racing this weekend to go to the Olympics. So if he does go to the Olympics, you can say you're faster than an Olympic racer. Oh, I like that. Therefore, you're on the cool throne, Olympic, Olympian, also Oscar Pistorius, right, in certain circumstances, challenger, Paralympic. Yes. Thank you, Hank. That was that was lovely. My hot seat. You're not welcome.

Well, yeah, I actually agree with you, Hank. Why? Yeah, you're not welcome. Why? Because you you you contested. Not just I said one thing. Hank said one thing. There were some things said. All right, go ahead. My hot seat is the White House cat.

So the Bidens got a cat for their White House. And I maybe they forgot that Major Biden still exists. And they got a dog to help socialize Major Biden, who has been biting everything that it sees. I think you have to say the dog, just so people know, because one of their kids named Hunter. Oh, OK. So Major definitely like they're they would definitely so major one of their kids major. They would Major Biden, the dog, the German Shepherd dog, is being socialized back into the White House with the help of a cat.

And that cat is fucking dead. Oh, yeah, that dog is going to eat the shit out of that cat. And to be honest with you, I kind of I've grown to love Major Biden just because he's such a shithead. Well, he's also very relatable. Like I wouldn't want to be in a house where there's a shitload of people coming and going all the time. I would start biting everyone as well.

It's very funny to have like the the highest, most honorable house in America in theory, just populated by a mangy dog that's running around attacking everybody. I love that. Dogs will be dogs. My cool throne is I was going to say lane lines on sprinting tracks because D.K. Maccalf is competing to try to qualify for the Olympics. So I wasn't going to make about me. I was going to make about D.K.

But then you were going to be like who's faster than D.K. But I know, but I see that's the thing. I my cool thing was P.F.D. Commenter. So how'd you know what I was talking about? No, because then you started talking about D.K. Right afterwards. But it's different cool thrones. Yeah, it is. It is totally different.

Cool. So the speculation is that if D.K. runs under like a 10.2, then he'll qualify for the Olympic trials. But that in order to do that, he would have to run as fast as he was running at his peak when he was chasing down Bouda Baker. It doesn't feel like feels like there's sprinters that could run. Yeah. Yeah. So we don't have as much muscle. What you're going to see a lot of is track and field stands on Twitter, being like this guy has no business in our sport and saying,

you don't understand truly how fast sprinters are. And you know what? They're right. A hundred percent right. Sprinters, sprinters trained to do one thing and one thing only, and they're very good at it. Dude, I don't know how fast marathon runners are. When you see a marathon runner run like a two hour marathon, they are sprinting as fast as you can possibly sprint for two hours.

That said, I do hope that he gets. I hope that he qualifies. It'd be fucking hilarious to see D.K. back off, go to the Olympics. Yeah, I don't think he's going to. But yeah, it would be very funny. It would be very funny to see him go there, which are the Olympics happening. Yeah, for sure. Tokyo for sure.

For sure. I don't want to say for sure, for sure. All right. I don't know anyone's going to be alive. I can't guarantee that. That's true. I hope they happen. They're still the 2020 Olympics. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Yeah. All right. My hot seat is us because a dude perfect. They released a sick ass music video called Pet Peeves, one of the pet peeves being missing like putts, which is not a pet peeve.

That's just that's just not a pet peeve. One was when you drive past a car and a dog is barking really loud. What? Yeah, that's a pretty relatable stuff for that. Like one second, you have to hear a dog. Yeah. And it was, you know what? The dog looked like Leroy, too. I was like, I would give anything to drive past that car. Yeah. So we're fucked.

They're coming to our block. I didn't made drink paint and the other song. Chonk, there we go. I knew that. I fucking knew that. We, like I said, 67 percent capacity. We might have underestimated, dude, perfect. They truly can do it all. Yeah. You play every sport.

This is the worst song I've ever rapped. It was an insult to music in general. Yeah. No, my pet. Can you auto tune this? My pet, my pet peeve was that entire music video. Beardo Beardo came in. My pet peeve is when Beardo tries to rap. Can you sing it? My pet peeve is when Beardo tries to rap at me.

My pet peeve was when I thought Beardo wasn't going to make it all about himself. But the start of the video was all about himself. All right. So there we go. Put that out there. All right. My cool throne is Russell Westbrook because he's incredible. And I said that I was going to do a respect update every now and then like here's someone we should respect more. Russell Westbrook doesn't get enough respect. This is now the fourth season that he will average a triple double for the entire season.

He could record zero points, zero rebounds and zero assists in all the rest of the games this season, and he would still have a triple double. And I know Ball hog like makes bad decisions at the end of the games. Russell Westbrook because of the three point percent. I don't care. The dude is fucking crazy. He's really, really good. And he somehow is still really, really good, even though everyone has written him off. So I'm respecting him more. OK.

And his fourth time average and a triple double is crazy. And on Monday night, he dropped twenty four assists. Twenty one rebounds, twenty four assists, fourteen points. That's insane. That's crazy. I've never heard Russell Westbrook before. That's good. That's like he doesn't shoot well. Remember Zaza Pecheep shot. Yep. Pecheep shot.

Those are good ones. Yeah. Hustle Westbrook, what I would I call him with numbers like those, like twenty four assists. Twenty four assists, twenty one rebounds, fourteen points. That's crazy. That's fucking stupid. So let's respect him more. All right, Jake, you are a hot secret. I'm growing concern that our list of people that we have to respect might be getting too long. It's literally just Steph Curry and Russell Westbrook.

And you mentioned Chris Paul the other week. No, but I didn't. I was a fucking we all knew that that was a prank. It was a double cross. It was a double cross. Got it. Two, there's two people I got to respect more. Hot seats, the Houston Astros. They returned to Yankee Stadium tonight for the first time since the incident.

Things could get ugly. You think anyone's going to bring a trash can? Probably. Things will get ugly. I'll be wild. Oh, my God, I can't bleach your creatures. Bleach your creatures. Yeah, you guys know that that dude on Twitter. Thank God, Billy.

Oh, no, don't mention him. The dude on Twitter who created a Astros Revenge Tour. Yeah. Yeah. It basically was like, we're going to be shaming the Astros everywhere. And then after last year, he just changed his handle. It's a random baseball. He just made himself like a baseball page. And everyone's like, are you fucking serious?

You can't rebrand like that. I respect the fuck out of that. You can't rebrand like all those thousand followers. I really hope that at some point tonight, Aaron Judge gets on second base. For all two of us. That's that's all I care about when it comes to this game. Yeah. All right. Your cool. My cool throne is minor league baseball.

It's opening day. I know we rock some gear sometimes. Yep. So the little guys love their whole season got canceled last year. So the first time in two years. Love it. Good to see boys out there playing. Yep. I'm league.

All right. Let's get to our great, great interview with Kevin Malone, Brian Baumgartner, talking everything, sports, office, everything. OK, we now welcome on a very special guest. You might know him as Kevin Malone from the office or you might know him as the cameo king, but he's also a die hard sports fan. It is Brian Baumgartner. How do you I knew I was going to screw that up your last name.

You know, you you stuttered as though you were going to screw it up. And I think you did it. But I think I think Baumgartner because of the pitcher. So then it gets in my head like you're the name is so close to another name that it just fucks me up. You're talking you're talking about missing a missing T. Yeah. Yeah. Right. That's what I call him missing a missing T.

So you're his cousin or what is that? No, I'm not his cousin. No, I'm not his cousin. Go ahead. He was to say what would you rather be introduced as the actor who played Kevin Malone or cameo king? If I'm given that choice, I'll go with Kevin Malone. OK, because you are the cameo king. That's what they say.

Yes, but it's awesome to have you on. I've we've seen you on a few different shows. And when you were pitched us, we're like, yeah, we definitely want him on. So thank you for joining us. We appreciate it. I don't know where to start, because you are a true sports fan, which is rare when the actor guests are true sports fans. I'll do I'll start here.

Actually, you like Bryson DeChambeau, what's your fucking problem? Well, here's the thing. He went to SMU and I went to SMU. So there is that very connection. Who said I like Bryson DeChambeau? I found it on the Internet. Again, yeah, I must have been. I must have been.

Yeah, everything you read on the Internet is true. How we got everything you read is true. Well, let's I might have been scrambling to give an answer. I mean, I do. We do have that bond. We have that that kinship. Yeah, right. We're we're noted haters of don't like him.

We can clarify, though, like scale one to ten. How much would you say that you like Bryson DeChambeau? How much do I like? I I don't actively root against him. OK, so that's not good enough for us. Yeah, we need to update that website. Yeah, that's a wrong answer. Is this now?

Let me ask you this. Is this a new hate or is this an old hate or it really comes out to we're just incredibly loyal guys. So we're friends with Brooks Kepka. And actually, I don't even think Brooks hates him. We just decided that we like we the way people root for golf, we never understood like how you can just kind of root for everyone. Golf is more fun when you just pick like one or two guys and that's your guy.

And it's like a sports team. And then everyone else like we really if you actually boil it down, I don't think we like actually think Bryson DeChambeau is a bad guy. But we hate other golfers like there are rivals. All right, I got it. I actually respect that. I like that. Yeah. I mean, so here.

Here's my here's my golf take. I don't I don't really understand it or why it is or maybe you can help me. So I feel like if unless you have a vested interest in something, right, like dynasties, you don't root for typically, right? Like unless you're a New England guy, you kind of hate the Patriots, right? Like you're not you're not rooting for them. Same Yankees, same Lakers, same whatever, right? I and so I think I feel that way.

I know I feel that way in general about other sports without mentioning team specifically, but for me, the crazy thing is Tiger Woods in that when I was watching Tiger Woods or when I watch Tiger Woods, I want him to dominate. Like I just and I and I don't know what that is. And then, you know, it's like, oh, here, this guy's the new Tiger. This is speed. This is so and so. And I don't I don't I don't ever have that feeling anymore.

So my question is like, what was it about him that made him so transcendent? But I feel like a lot of people feel the same way I do. I think it was just he was so different from everybody else that was in golf at that time when he came along, like nobody showed emotion. You might get a fist pump occasionally out of a guy if you made a big putt. But he was just he treated being out on the golf course like you see, you know, a football player, if they like a quarterback that throws a touchdown, they get pumped up like Brett Farver, go jump into his teammate's arms,

things like that. Like Tiger looked like I don't want to say he was having fun out on the course, but like he displayed all the emotions like he was he was getting pumped up. He would yell at himself. Be like, come on, Woods, he'd cuss himself out if he hit a drive into the Woods. He was just so different and exciting that it got a lot of people into golf that wouldn't normally be golf fans. And so then that's your guy that got you there.

So you're going to kind of stick around for a while. Yes. Yeah, I hear that. I'd also throw out the idea that Tiger was so good that it became like it became something bigger than golf. Like he almost broke golf when he's winning like a US Open by 10 strokes that you're now no longer being like there's no one else to root for against Tiger. It's just Tiger against the game of golf almost. He transcended at that point where it's like how can someone

master the sport that is impossible to master? And he got the closest ever and probably no one will ever get as close as he did. You know, the Tiger slam and just beating people like it's unheard of to beat people by that many strokes in those type of tournaments that I think it becomes like everyone just wants to root for him because you in the moment are saying we're witnessing something we may never see again. Right. No, I think that's a good take. I mean, I think both of those things are part of it for sure.

And yes, I like that idea. Like you were rooting to see things that you never had seen before and hadn't seen before and may never see again. It's kind of like Steph Curry right now. Like Steph Curry, you know, people obviously had warriors fatigue. But when Steph Curry gets going and he hits, you know, 10, 11 threes in a game, you're like, holy shit, this is we're witnessing something that's totally different than everything else.

And no one's even close to as good of a shooter as he is. Yeah, that's that's interesting, because I never I never really got. And maybe I was missing something. I never really got the Warriors hate. And that's actually a good call because I don't know. I felt like their basketball at its pure when they were rolling was just such pure, fundamental, great basketball coupled with an amazing shooter that maybe we've never seen before.

Yeah, two top 10 shooters with Clay. That was Kevin Durant. Yeah. So when Kevin Durant joined the team, then I think people were like, OK, we like this team when it was the Splash Brothers, when it was Dreymond, and they were kind of like a homegrown team. Kevin Durant goes out there. And then at that point, it was like, now, now this is just unfair. Like there's no other team really has a chance. Whereas you might run it.

You might catch, you know, lightning in a bottle and Clay and Steph would go, you know, they'd shoot like 25 percent on on a single night and you might be able to beat them. Their shots, actually, you know, who had a better shot than them was you at the end of that one episode. The basketball episode when you just went out there and you were wet, you were fucking wet. Are you like you're a good basketball player?

I assume you were probably the best basketball player on the set. I I mean, I would say yes. John Krasinski might argue with me on that. But that's really how that started was we were we were children. You give a child a ball and what do they do? They bounce it and they shoot it. So we're like on a professional television set, like trying to get work done. And it was like cut and he and I would just start bouncing the ball, shooting the ball.

And it was really that that that moment was not scripted, that everybody sort of realized that I could shoot. And it was sort of like, oh, hey, this would be funny. At the end, when everybody's walking off, they decided to turn the camera on me. And yeah. And by the way, you got to check the tape on the DVD. It was 13 in a row from free throw line extended. I'm low in in a suit jacket and work shoes. That's actually that's very impressive.

That's very, very impressive. I so let's let's definitely talk a little office. I want to go back to the sports after because it is, like I said, a little rare that we have actor who comes on, who's a huge sports fan. The office, everyone loves it. It's I mean, one of the funniest shows ever was there a moment. I'm always curious about the moment that everyone collectively says, holy shit, we got like this is something like the the the genius moment,

the light bulb moment for a bunch of very funny people to be like, oh, yeah, this is going to be incredible. You know, I'll give you I answer that in two ways. One is that the set and for people who are fans of the show, they're letting go like, holy shit, like that was the second episode. But the second episode of the show that we shot was diversity day, which maybe was one of our best. And, you know, when we were on set, I remember like,

I remember so specifically thinking, wow, I don't know if people are going to watch this show because it was so different. There was no laugh track at the time. We all didn't look like the cast of friends. You know, there was all this happening, but I was like, man, if people give the show a chance, we have a chance because we're talking about like real things in a funny, different way that's not done on television period.

So that was for me, like creatively, I was like, OK, this is like this could be really good. But the moment I would say was the the very first Christmas episode that we did in season two. It was the Yankee Swap and the iPod and all this stuff. And there it was a big ensemble episode, like every single character had something to do. And that episode, you know, we woke up the next day and 10 million people had watched it at that time on that night.

It was the first time we'd gone over and it was like, oh, yeah, this is like, oh, OK. And we were struggling so much in the ratings up to that point that it was sort of like, oh, you know, I hope we can finish the season out because at that point we weren't that was not guaranteed. And then suddenly it was like, oh, we're going to we're going to be around for a while. Yeah, like a decade. You brought up an interesting point and one that's kind of always fascinated me,

which is the laugh track, the laugh track in American television. So it's one of these things where we just have agreed to not talk about it enough because it's just in the background of every comedy show, every sitcom. And when you guys were making the office, there's no laugh track. It's shot handheld. It looks different. It sounds different. Were there was there any pushback from people at ESPN that you heard about or excuse me at NBC that you heard about that we're saying like, hey,

how are people going to know when they should laugh? How are people going to know what's funny if they don't have, you know, two hundred people laughing along with them? Oh, 100 percent. And, you know, it's it's really interesting that for this podcast cast, I'm doing The Office Deep Dive, one of the conversations I have, which is sort of like I was worried. Like, is anyone going to care about this guy?

Like, why do why do they want to hear from him? They want to hear from Steve Carell and all that, which we talked to about Kevin Riley, who was the head of NBC at the time and was kind of the person who championed the show and made sure it stayed on the air when a lot of people at NBC didn't want it on the air. It tested. He said, like, you know, they do this testing. They shoot the pilot.

They show it to people and they're like, should we do the show? And it got like a zero. Like, like all of the rooms, like everyone said, like, no, no, no. He was like, OK, thank you. OK, thank you. And then there was one room. He told the story. I had not heard the story before. There was one room at the end, pretty large room of people, larger than the other rooms,

which were the assistants, the like assistants of other executives, the interns, like all of the young people. And he walked in and said, so what what did you guys think? And their response, this is almost a direct quote for him was, not only is this the best thing that you have shown today, it's kind of the only thing that's even currently on the network that we would even watch. And we love it.

And he shut the door and was like, thank you very much, walked out. He was like, we're doing we're doing this show because it has such a different, I always call it kind of subversive sensibility that that kind of applies to a younger audience. Yeah. And it's interesting to think about the office and the time and place because you the office is a show that if it were today with the streaming platforms, it would be an instant hit, I feel like, because people would just be like, oh, you have to watch this.

You guys were, you know, it's crazy to even say, but there was a time and place that you watch it. Obviously, DVR existed. But I remember sitting down, watching it, being like, oh, the office is on tonight. Was it Thursday nights? I think Thursday nights. And it was like, all right, we're going to watch the office tonight. So it is funny to think about like you guys surviving that transition in TV, like where there's, you know, TV used to be that appointment television sit down and you have to make a conscious decision.

Now it's a lot more passive. You just watch funny shit all the time. Right. And, you know, I think I think that's how a lot of hits are made now. To write like social media means all of that, like when a show starts getting talked about and a lot of the streaming stuff, at least for a long time, was kind of a secret, like who's watching, but it sort of became anecdotal. And I think one of the things that we, we again, that we talk about is that, you know, it was this whole antiquated Nielsen rating system,

which nobody really understands, but Nielsen rating. And they say like 10 million people are watching, right? What that means is a certain percentage of people who were given boxes that they put on top of their TV, that they record what they're watching, we're watching it. And I always said, even back in the day, again, just from walking around, being around colleges or like whatever, it's like. A college, college kids are not given a Nielsen box.

Right. Right. Like what was what's happening at, you know, hearing like, oh, yeah, we watch it in our dorms, we blah, blah, blah. It's like none of that was being recorded. And I feel like, well, I know what happened was the, that same Christmas that that Christmas episode came out that we were referring to and it featured a video iPod. Think about that.

That was the very first video iPod. I mean, that was the first time you could watch something and put it in your pocket and pull it out. And they, uh, they made a deal to put the office on that. And it was immediately the number one show. Yeah. And that was again, that was another where it was like, whoa, like, okay, yeah, people are watching this that are not necessarily being recorded. You're absolutely right.

I mean, we're both 36. So I remember watching it with all my roommates in college, like finding out about the office in college, being like, holy shit, this show is totally different and hilarious. Right. So I think it was also like a big, um, illegally streamed or downloaded like Lime Wire. You remember the Lime Wire Family Guy, Heather Brooke. Those were like the big three of anybody that had a dorm room.

And so there was a lot of stuff that didn't get, didn't get tracked, like you said, by the, by the Nielsen boxes. I'm really glad that it stuck around for a while. Cause, you know, obviously it's probably, I'm just going to say my favorite comedy that's, uh, that I've ever seen on television. It was, uh, you know what we should do? So Mel Kuiper, the draft analyst, he, he watches his old shows. He has them on DVD.

He'll watch like Dallas on Friday nights at eight when it used to air. We should just as a nation say Thursday nights, what eight o'clock Thursday nights at eight o'clock, we're all sitting at nine o'clock, nine o'clock. We're all sitting down watching the office together. Yeah. We don't do stuff together as a country anymore. I think that would, that would be helpful. I, I think that is a very good idea.

A two things based on what you just said, one, that's a phenomenal idea. And two, you owe me some money because you downloaded legally online wire. Yeah, I owe you a lot. Yeah, absolutely. I'm broke. Uh, you mentioned the memes, uh, there's a, one of the all time most incredible gifts is Kevin Spill in the chili. Yes.

When you spilled the chili, uh, I've always wondered how long it actually took to clean up that mess. And if they just redid the carpet after that, cause you can't, you can't get chili out of a carpet. So by the way, first, first time anyone has ever thought or considered that. So very well done. Um, you know, we did a lot of prep for this scene. Obviously it was, it was going to be messy.

Um, and I got kind of pulled aside. Again, I remember really specifically from, uh, the set decorator and the props department, you know, sometimes like, like during a sporting event, like a certain, there'll be a little huddle where the head coach may not be listed or whatever, and they came to me and they're like, Hey, um, so we have three gigantic pieces of carpet. And when I say gigantic piece of carpet, I mean, from the front entry way around the reception desk, all the way, like a humongous piece of carpet.

They're like, we could only get three. So you got to help us out. Like we have to do this in three takes or we're like, we're dead. Like there's nothing to be done. Um, as, as I, I, I got it in one, thankfully, uh, one, one take. But, uh, I don't, what they didn't really consider was cleaning me. Like I don't, there wasn't three of me. I really don't think I could have, uh, I could have gone again.

That's what, that's what she said. I, um, I, I don't think, yeah, I mean, it was, it was a huge mess. It was, I mean, it's, it is an iconic scene. And one that like, if you show it to anyone, they will laugh, anyone watches that scene and they will laugh. That's got to feel pretty good to be like, you know, you're not the main character, but I, you know, you have one of the best scenes of all time in the office.

You, you, you should get like, actually, how's that not an NFT? You need to make millions off of that. I don't know. Who knows. Maybe it will be, maybe you probably have it ready to go. Maybe it will be. I, yeah, I don't know. I think that I never, obviously, I mean, you're in the middle of, you know,

shooting 10 years and it was one moment and it was such a different kind of a thing, just me played mostly in like voiceover style, like the style was even a little funky and different. And, um, certainly I, I knew it was fun. And it was kind of a fun challenge. I never imagined that it would be what it has become now. Yeah. And yeah, it's, it's one of my favorites.

Well, um, who is the guy, who is a person, uh, male or female who made everyone laugh the most like on set, uh, when the cameras are not rolling? Oh, when the cameras were not rolling, I'll tell you, I think, well, I mean, look, it's, that's a great question. Well, one, I would say that pound for pound Oscar Nunez might be the funniest person on the planet, at least to me personally, like he is, I called him in his introduction for the podcast. He's like a, a chameleon.

And what I mean is, it's like, like most people sort of have a style. They're like Farley or they're deadpan or they're whatever. He like does it all and like just knows exactly which direction to go. He's hilarious. Um, but I'm, and, and Steve Carell, I believe is the greatest improviser, maybe in the history of entertainment. I mean, he just, he, anytime he improvises, it's always on topic. It's always super smart in character to the point.

You know, never veers in a weird direction. Um, it's funny, you brought up family guy, right? Like family guy, family guy, it could be really, really funny, right? So much of their funny is like, well, that reminds me of the time that this happened, which is totally off story. And they go into a weird, like flashback thing and come back. That's way easier than like staying right and keep telling this great story and doing that.

But it's funny. Steve, like when the cameras weren't rolling, he was very not that way. Really? And I always felt like it was, I described him again in one of the interviews for the podcast, almost like, not intentionally, and I don't mean this in a, in a derogatory way, but kind of like absent minded professory. Like, you know, like, you know, like re going through rehearsal and he's kind of got his papers and he's like, you know, reading through and nothing,

nothing is there. And I always took it thought that it was about, he didn't want to reveal anything that he was doing because when the cameras rolled, I believed he was trying at every moment to make somebody else laugh. I love that. He was trying to keep it right on this line where he didn't want you to laugh to ruin a take, but he wanted you to laugh and he didn't want to reveal anything that he was going to do before the cameras were rolling.

That's great. That's, I mean, that's genius because that also, I mean, that, that right there sums up his entire character where he's always on the line of like, what is like, it's, he's really dumb, but he's also a genius and it all just worked. Right. Well, I mean, like the biggest and what's become the most famous example, which seems like totally crazy. And I don't know how big a fans of the show, but to those of you who are the

gay witch hunt episode where he finds out that, that Oscar's character is gay. And, and he decides he's going to be as woke as he possibly can be. And what he decides to do is to kiss Oscar in this moment. That was totally improvised. That wasn't scripted. So we're all sitting, we're all sitting there as he like is like trying to get up the courage to kiss him. And that was all, and we, and so in that moment, we really were like characters

in the office going like, is he about to do that? Is that way to set? It was like, and that's, that's just one example of many, but probably the biggest. Yeah. Going to get back to Brian in a second before we do, we're going to talk to about our great friends over at Coors Light. We love Coors. We love Coors Seltzer.

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Get Coors Light and Coors Seltzer delivered straight to your door with Drizly or with Instacart. Celebrate responsibly. Coors Brewing Company, Golden Colorado and Fort Worth, Texas. Here's more Brian. There's always the rumors about a about a reunion of sorts. And now it's on Peacock. Obviously people are talking about it a little bit more. It's actually this is a great timing with the show because Greg Daniels just did an interview.

It just hit Twitter. They said that you guys do have something planned and that you guys are going to be getting together and it's going to be something to watch. So what are your thoughts on that? Are you are you excited to get back into this or what? Oh wait, this is you know what this feels like? This feels like do I pick up my phone and check Twitter right now? That is very rude in the middle of an interview.

Yeah. Greg Daniels just oh it just came out on Twitter. It's weird. You can if you want to look. Tom Brady's going to the Redskins. All right. I'm sorry. The Washington football team. The Washington football team.

Thank you. You can look. You don't believe us? No, no, I'm kidding. Well, I'll answer how I would have answered without you giving me that information. I believe that we will get back together again. I think that problem is and I'll sort of talk this through with you is that I think what people expect or want when they say they want the office to come back is they

want more episodes of what the show was. And as I always say to people, that's it's a very that's a very confusing and complicated idea, right? Because like if you recall at the end of the office, Stanley's in Florida. Kevin was fired and is now running a bar. Jim and Pam live in Austin. Dwight and Angela are married. You know, Steve Michael Scott is in Colorado.

Like it kind of wasn't the same by the end. And so how, how do you go back to that? You know, and I, so I think that's the confusing thing. Although what I also say is they brought back Roseanne and John Goodman's character was literally dead in the first incarnation. So anything is possible, I suppose. But, you know, I think that there I can envision a situation where, where, where yes, we are, we are reunited in some way.

It seems like it'd be, you're right. People are, they want it, they want old episodes of the office to just continue to be made. And that's hard for a lot of reasons. Like you said with the characters, also the production staff, the people who are writers, a lot of those people are off doing other things where they're, you know, in charge of certain projects and stuff. So it's not going to be the exact same group.

And as much as I would like to see it, it's, there are going to be people that are going to be mad about it just because it's not season three of the office, which is more about where they were in life at the time that they watched it, that they hold that, like that certain memory about it. So I do want to see come back, but I also understand why it, why it might be tough and why some people might not want to do it. Well, you know, it's interesting that what, what Greg Daniels always said, right? Like, and this to me is, is the, is the beauty of how the show ended.

That we decided to end it. It wasn't like canceled. And that, that from the very beginning, his idea was we're shooting a documentary, right? Documentary crew is shooting a paper company. And that at some point that documentary has to be revealed then. Like that has to go out into the world. But when that does, much like reality television, right, that changes the people

who are subjects of that documentary. So like all of the characters have to, once Kevin sees himself on television and how he has been edited, he then has to behave differently than he does before that time. And so his idea always was he wants to do it. But once that happens, then the show, as we knew it before, no longer exists. Yeah, that was what he said. Just an idea you can take or leave it a documentary that follows you, Creed and

Andy Buckley, David Wallace around, and you guys start a band together. I'm, I'm in those, both of those are fantastic guys and great. That would be a lot, a lot of fun. That would be fun. Andy Buckley is a long, he's like one of our like fifth guests, maybe like six years ago. So he's the best. He's a psycho.

But we love him. Total psycho. Total psycho. He's a total psycho. So I don't have this take, but people in our office do, at least just one person says that they made your character too dumb at the end of the office. I disagree. But was that a conscious decision to just happen naturally?

You know, I think that I think that there certainly was a progression of Kevin and what happened. I think a part of that is, you know, from the beginning of the show, where the writers kind of wanted to take it, where I took it based on what the writers were giving, giving me, you know, that certainly happened. I had this very nerdy. I mean, this is way too nerdy, a topic for, for your show. But my sort of weird actor justification for some of that was that when the

camera crew showed up at the office, Kevin was very, very uncomfortable. And so was way more reserved. And then as he became more comfortable with them being around, more of his true self came out. That's real actor, deep nerd shit. I like that. Yeah, that's good. But that was, that was what I did for myself in order to sort of go where they

went, I think to answer that specific comment by the coworker. I know that once, I mean, this is not exclusively true, right? But like, in order of dumb, stupid comedy, physical comedy, it kind of went Michael Scott and Dwight Shrew and Kevin. And so I know that consciously, once Michael left, they, they leaned on Kevin to do a lot more or extend the physical comedy that he was doing because Michael was no longer there. If that makes sense.

That makes perfect sense. Yeah. Yeah. I again, I wasn't the one who had to take Brandon Walker. Yeah, no, no, no, but that, but that, but that was that, that was a, that was, that was, that was discussed. Yeah. And at times I would go to the writer's room, I would get a scene or something

and be like, guys, I know some of you have written for the Simpsons, but I'm not actually Homer Simpson. Like there are, there are physical limitations to my body that a cartoon you don't have to worry about. So like, let's keep that in mind when we're falling on your head. Yeah, right. Yes. Um, all right.

Back to sports for a second. If I said to you, I assume you're a huge football fan. Yes. If I said to you, uh, your team had the, what's your team? The Green Bay Packers. Okay. So hypothetically, let's say the Green Bay Packers had, uh, what some would say is the best quarterback in the NFL for a decade plus three MVPs.

How many Super Bowls do you think they would have? Um, who was their coach over those 10 years? It doesn't matter. It's about the quarterback, right? I'm sorry. What was the question? How many Super Bowls would they have? They would even have the best quarterback a lot of people are saying, um,

who might retire to do Jeopardy full time if they had that guy, right? Hypothetically, they should certainly win more than one Super Bowl, right? Um, I think that a lot of things go in, I mean, obviously, I mean, this is like the dumbest sports take of all time, but you know, you have to be great and you also have to catch some breaks. Oh, like Jay Cutler hurting his knee break. Yeah, you're right. So we'd actually zero Super Bowl.

Wait, wait, are you saying that Roger would not have a Super Bowl? Were it not for Jay Cutler's knee? Yeah, right. Exactly. So you did catch that break. I'm a Bears fan, by the way. So I just hate you, uh, for this and, uh, I like there's, it is all I have left. I know how, how desperate I sound.

I know how stupid I sound. It's very desperate. Oh, it's incredibly desperate. But I still, I have to, I have to put on a brave face. Okay. Um, who's going to be your quarterback this year, by the way? Uh, AD 14 ever heard of him? He's a night.

He's a super nice guy. Great guy. Fuck you. He's a great, he's a great, great guy. Um, yeah, I mean, I, I don't know what, I don't know. I mean, yeah, I, I certainly, I wish I, I thought last year they had a great, and they did, they had a great chance. Yeah.

What, when are we going to air this? Do you know next week? Okay. Next week. So the draft already happened grade the Green Bay Packers draft. You guys, you guys picked another quarterback in the first round. How? Yeah, that was smart.

Don't get me started. Yeah. That was not smart. We don't know that. Go, I'll agree with you there. Yeah, I'll go there. I will go with you. All right.

Last question. It is actually the rowback question. Use code PFT on rowback.com for 20% off your first purchase. RHOBACK.com code PFT. They make the best performance polos and the only performance polos we wear. And for our guests today, we'd like to gift you a rowback performance Q zip on us. I feel like every time we talk to someone in Hollywood, they're, they just don't have enough time to watch sports, like how you, you are a big sportsman.

You clearly like keep up with all of it. Is, is that a wrong assessment on my part? Cause I feel like every time we talk to an actor and you ask, like, oh, do you like this, they'll have some very surface level understanding of a sport and give you a line and be like, but you can clear, you can clearly tell they don't watch NFL on Sundays. Like they don't clear their schedule for an NFL Sunday. Oh, I watch NFL on Sunday.

Oh, I know you do. I know you do. No, so here, here, here's, here's my theory. I don't, I didn't come up with this. I think I heard it one time, but I've kind of taken it over as mine. Now you guys don't necessarily count now because now your business is sports. Okay. But for someone whose business is not one of these three things, the, the theory

goes like this. Your brain only has the ability for one of, uh, to, to, uh, to not comprehend, but to retain one of three things, sports information, music information, or useless trivia. So not if you're, if you're, cause you're, you do this. So you might have another hobby, which might be the other thing, but basically a person's brain can only do one of those three things. Trivia, forget it.

Like, and music, I could almost, I can sing tunes of which I get about three words out of 20 correct, couldn't tell you who sang it or what the song is. I mean, you know, unless it's like a standard that I happen to love, I'm terrible at that, but sports, that's my interest. So like that's, that's my distraction. And whether it's playing golf or watching sports, that's my distraction in my hobby. I think that's actually like, couldn't be more spot on. We have a trivia tournament coming up here at the bar, so offices and the

two best players probably are a guy named KB and a guy named Kirk. And I think the reason why they are the best players is they don't really watch sports. So they just have some, I mean, they watch it, but they don't like, it's not an obsession. So they just have time to fill their brains with actual knowledge and like things that matter. Whereas we have, you know, I mean, like, I always think I probably could have

cured cancer if I didn't watch wrestling as a kid. Like, you know what I mean? Like my, so much of my brain power was kept up with just like, who is Stone Cold going to stun tonight that I wasted so many brain cells on that that I'm always going to be behind. Right. And like, I, yeah, no, that's exactly right. And like, I can go through, I can't tell you these songs that I should totally

know, but I can basically tell you, excluding hockey, I would get foggy there. But like on the other sport, like I could tell you just divisions and all the teams that are in the divisions and kind of where they sit, maybe not exactly right now, baseball just started. But yeah, that's just, I just, that is, that's where my distraction lies. So Big Ad mentioned that you're in Hollywood. Are you actually in Hollywood? I just always assume that if I've ever seen anybody on a TV show or on a big

screen that they currently live in Hollywood, how does that work? I do not anymore. I moved away a little bit. So I'm, I'm down in Southern California, but I'm not in Los Angeles. No, that's Hollywood. Southern California, Hollywood? I think so. I think if you're in showbiz and you're below San Francisco, you're in Hollywood.

You, you live what, an hour away from Hollywood? A couple hours. A couple hours. What are you living? Mexico? What's going on here? No, more down towards San Diego. Okay. So San Diego's Hollywood still.

It's like, no, you're, no, you're, that's, that is, no, that's crazy. You're right. That's amazing. No, that's like saying Westchester is New York City or Connecticut is New York City. But you could get, if someone was like, hey, if your agent calls like, Hey, we need you to read for this, you could, you don't have to book a flight. You're in Hollywood. Gotcha.

Yeah. See, would you take the 405? With this, with this animosity, he strikes me as a Temecula guy. Oh, okay. I'm not in Temecula, I promise you that. Oh, do you have any other sports hot takes for us? You want to get off your chest? Cause we'll, we'll grade them for you.

You'll, you'll grade my hot take. Yeah. We have the dumbest takes of all time on this show. Basically the show is built on being idiots. We love sports. Grade, we mean, we'll, we'll steal them and pass them off as our own. Um, I don't, I don't, I don't know. Like what, I mean, the draft is coming up.

I think all this stuff with San Francisco is really interesting. And also, depending on where you sit on the conspiracy theory lines, all very bizarre. Go on. Yes. What do you mean by conspiracy theory lines? No, well. Is it reptilian?

No, I, San Francisco, uh, since the new regime came in, you kind of, like everything they've done has been very secretive. It's all sort of come out of, uh, been a surprise. And now I, I don't know if they're really going to take him with a third pick. Who? Mac Jones. You think they're going to take fields or Tray Lance? I don't know if they're going to draft a quarterback.

Oh, let's go. This is not going to sound so dumb because we're going to run this next week, but I love it. Go on. Is it Kyle Pitts? I don't, no, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

If you end up being white, we're going to cut this, by the way, so that we can't, we can't have our guests look good. By the way, I'm not saying, I just, the whole thing is very odd today. And I think that people, I think they're, it's a very, it's just a very weird situation because they haven't lost a ton from two years ago and they were really, really hurt last year. They're just not that far away. So I don't, I don't know.

The NFL is the one league where there are, there's clearly people who are nervous about their secrets being stolen and, and all that stuff, but there also is a lot of franchises that put on a front who are like doing things to try to like dupe people. And it's like, we, it's not that hard. I, you know, you're going to take a quarterback probably. You're going to take a quarterback that you like, but they love this smoke screen and like, you know, having everyone think one thing and then they do another. It's like, yeah, I'm, it'd be very funny.

If the jets like straight up took Mac Jones, number two overall, after smoke screening, Zach Wilson, that would be a big time jets move. Like we're outsmarting everyone. Like, oh shit, we can't let this happen. This Kyle Shanahan sees something we, he's close. Yeah. They're nervous. 49ers are right behind him. Yeah. Oh, it'd be funny if Kyle Shanahan just straight up took a running back with the third

over. If you put, if he took like Najee Harris, number three overall, anything is possible. I don't think that's going to happen, but anything is possible. Anything is possible. Except when you air this, nothing, nothing will be possible. Everything we say will be stupid. Yes. Brian, this has been awesome though. We really appreciate it. Anytime you want to come on and talk sports, we'd love to have you.

And yeah, we can't wait for the office reunion. Are you a gambling guy? Occasionally. Occasionally. You like to place a few bets? Occasionally. Okay. We can, oh, actually you're, you're, it was pointing out to me, it's not the same, but your Twitter, what does it say on your Twitter? Life's too short to be unhappy.

Is that right? That sounds right. I don't know. My saying is life's too short to bet the under. So similar, similar vibe. Because I am unhappy whenever I bet the under because it's just a miserable experience. It's miserable. You're right.

I call it, I call them movie unders. If I really love an under, I'll go see a movie. I'll bet the under and I'll go see a movie because I don't want to watch the game. That's a great, I know, I know, especially in basketball, I'll help football too. Yeah. No. See, yeah. You're like, oh, especially in basketball, in football and also baseball and hockey and soccer.

Yeah. The under sucks, but you know what? The people who bet under is always wins. So I fucking hate them. Yeah. Yeah. Contrarians. Smarter people than me.

Yes. Well, thank you so much. We really appreciate it, man. This has been awesome. And seriously, anytime you want to come back on, we'd love to have you. Thanks, you guys. I appreciate it. Brian Bumgardner was brought to you by bird dogs.

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I've enjoyed talking to the fans. Who owns Wi-Fi? Is it just out there? Does anybody and anybody can have it if they can find it? Does the government own it? Only the gates. God. Now after the, after the divorce.

So that means it's just God. The price will go up because Bill needs some cash. Yes. The only explanation behind Wi-Fi is that just like it doesn't, it's the only thing on earth that can't be owned. These are not meant to be tamed. Yeah, this is one of those things like thinking about the, about Wi-Fi and the internet truly blows my mind.

So I just don't do it. Mm-hmm. Is there, is there an off switch? I don't think that there's an off switch for the internet. In house of cards there was. Remember they jammed it all up. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean magnets always work. Electromagnetic pulses tend to work. I think we took out all the satellites in space. That's shot all over them. If you want to take down Wi-Fi. No, you're talking about 5G. You're talking about space. Like what, I'm talking about like the cables and shit that go underneath the ocean.

But those all get brought, beamed up as well. Godzilla could probably take them out. Damn. A gnarly earthquake feels like it would have some problems with Wi-Fi. No, but then you got satellites. Uh, PMTFEQ, seeing as it's a place where guys can be dudes, how messy is the studio on an average day? Does it smell in there?

It actually doesn't smell. Um, it's pretty messy. It's just messy. Only time it smells is when, if somebody spills water right underneath the bench press, because that's where a pumpkin squash exploded last year. And so when water gets in there and starts to evaporate, it brings a smell out with it. I still have no idea how that squashed.

I would say that right now it's pretty clean. Like I, I consider it clean on whether or not if someone was visiting, I'd like want to show them the room or if I would have secondhand embarrassment being like, this is our studio. Like right now I'd be fine being like, this is the room. My clean threshold is- Our corner is disgusting. Can I move my chair six inches?

Yes. Right now it's yes. So if I can move my chair any direction in six inches, that is incredibly clean. I would bring my, my dad in here, not my mom. Yeah, our pot's actually like a little bit of comfort. He's starting to get a little, uh, he's getting a little embarrassed about a pile.

Oh really? Yeah. Why? Yeah. I mean, I don't know. It's tough. It's tough because it's myself. Like I know-

And we're going to sell it for charity. We always sell for charity. And then I'm going to match. Yeah. Charity. Charity, bro. Charity, right in your fucking face. This is gross.

It just looks bad on pictures. It's just not. It's just like- Oh boo-hoo. They hate small business. Oh, some people are going to- You know what? Hey, kids with cancer, why did you all die?

Oh, because Hank didn't like the pictures. Yeah. All right. So this is kind of a guys on chicks, but they put in the FAQ text line, so we're going to read it. My friend's girlfriend broke up with them for two days and they got back together. The problem is that during those two days,

the girlfriend tried to fuck the boyfriend's roommate. Who is the boyfriend's best friend? I might add. The friend did not say anything to the boyfriend because he did not want to make it weird and ruin their friendship. Even though the friend and girlfriend did not actually do anything. Double parentheses for all we know. But now everyone in our friend group knows

that his girlfriend tried to fuck his best friend slash roommate and he has text messages as evidence. Do we say anything to our friend or just let it go on? This is a real story and I would love to hear what you guys have to say. Can't wait to listen to tomorrow's pod. Sounds like you guys are definitely keeping it wrapped up under tight lips. No one's going to talk about this. You guys have like a mountain of evidence.

You refer to it as evidence already. So I assume that that means that at some point, someone's just like waiting for the right time to drop the bomb. Maybe just don't tell the person and then in a group text with them be like, yo, did you listen to today's PMT? I think we thought there was some interesting stuff there at the end. Two days of breaking up is just enough time to be like, well, she just kind of lost her mind for a couple of days.

Like that was she wasn't thinking. You know what I mean? Like that wasn't that was totally it was just a prank kind of thing. Like if they had been broken up for two weeks and she's like sincerely pursued it, maybe she was getting drunk for two days straight and she just didn't have her wits about it. But I would not say a word ever about anything.

I think the under any circumstances. Only other options you just got to have an orgy. Just get everybody involved and everyone. That too. That would work. How did the boys pull themselves out of a gambling slump? Usually I'll just I'll just do what Hank does. Yeah, I was gonna say get him hit a moneyline on your dog.

Yeah, actually doesn't matter how many times it takes you to hit it. Yeah. Once you hit a plus number, you're like, oh, one 800 gambler if you have a game problem. But to be totally honest, if you're in a gambling slump, taking a day or two off to clear your head is will do wonders. Because essentially it's like you just got to stop the losing

so that you don't push, you don't press, and you're not thinking like, oh, I got to win my next bet. You give yourself a day or two, a mental day, and then maybe dip your toe back in with one. Because then when you win one, you feel good about yourself. Responsibly, of course. Yeah. Well, that was the most responsible thing I've ever said in my life.

Yeah, for real. I have a child. Speaking of child, Big Hat, I need your help with this. Uh-oh. The other morning I was waking my eight year old son up for school. My back has turned to the door, and I'm talking to my kid. I bend over to pick something up. My back has turned away.

And then out of nowhere, my husband comes in with a super nerf gun fully loaded and shoots me right in the asshole. Point blank. FYI, the big nerf bullets, not the little ones. I'm not joking. I get pissed and start screaming at him because he shot me, and he did it in front of our kid.

Of course, my son starts laughing because he thinks it's awesome, and my husband can't stop laughing. My husband goes to work and tells all the guys, and he comes home saying that they all said you have to take the shot. We are still not in agreement with this. What are your thoughts? Do you take the shot? From a girl perspective, I just don't understand why.

Please help. You have to take the shot, but then you have to get it back. Like, you have to buy the biggest nerf gun you can find. Like, one of those automatic ones that has, that shoots like 50 nerf bullets in five seconds, and just unload on him, like, in the shower, or when he's in a compromise position, maybe when he's sleeping on the couch watching golf,

you need to get him back and have your son watch. And have it be recorded. Yes. And then, this is very important, you got him right in the nuts. Not in the asshole. The nut shot will be way funnier, it'll hurt him more, and he won't have a leg to stand on when it comes to complaining about it. One of the greatest skills you can grow or have in life,

and I still struggle with it. I think everyone struggles with it, is to have the presence of mind when, like, a prank goes against you to be, like, act cool, because now I have carte blanche to get revenge. If you freak out, then everyone's like, oh, you made too big of a deal of it. If you can figure out a way in the moment,

it's very hard to do. But when you can be like, all right, cool, you just fucking blasted me in my ass at seven in the morning in front of our son, now it's on, motherfucker. Because then if you act cool, and then you respond in kind and he doesn't act cool, you're the cool parent forever.

Hey, Bubba, you're so mysterious. What do you do all show, and what do you like to do in your free time besides order a ton of food and pass out before it gets there and sleep through your alarms? Hashtag get Bubba a mic. A lot of map quest, right? I do have a microphone when people say that.

I cut cameras live during the show, and I don't really feel like I need to talk during it. Most of the time, so I don't. Do you have a camera on you right now? No, there's not a camera on me. There's no camera, all right. Hashtag get Bubba a cam. And every six months gets like way too lit.

Bubba, go to Hank right now. That's actually not true. I did when I was like 22. True, when I found you in the sauna after the soup bowl, that was a bad one. All right. Bubba, I want to test your reflexes. I was 21 years old.

Sleeping in the sauna. Yes, that's true. Sauna wasn't on because I think it had a timer, so it was on for the first two hours you were asleep. Bubba, reflex time, all right? Go to Hank. Big Cat. Yeah, I mean, this is Bubba's integral part of the show.

All right, I want to see what your reaction time was like. He puts up the YouTube. He does the clips. He's an integral part of the YouTube channel. We have a YouTube channel. You should subscribe to it. Yeah, it's only got like 225,000 followers that we just haven't talked about, but let's talk about it.

YouTube, we're going to start doing more stuff on YouTube. But yeah, Bubba does all that stuff. So he is definitely more important than some people who can't be named that aren't here this month. But he is a very integral part of our entire operation. And he fell asleep in a sauna once after the Super Bowl, but that's not a big deal. We're coming very close to saying the B word

over the course of this episode. Yeah, we are. Hey, Big Cat, PFT, Jake, almost said it. Liam and Liam, it's Marcelo. Would you consider doing another 24-hour stream for a Grirt Week in the future? Yes. So many great moments from the last one.

Yeah, but we'd have to do it differently. I'd only limit myself to like 21 beers instead of 24. I would actually love to do it again. I think it was fun. I mean, it was obviously a lot, but maybe we could do it. Would it be nice if we could do it with sports on? Yeah, I was going to say because we did it last year. If we get 500,000 subscribers by tomorrow, we'll do it.

No, let's say, no, let's give actually a real, let's give a real number. So five, so are we at what? We're at 220,000. If we get 500,000 subscribers by tomorrow, we'll do it tonight. No, when you listen, when you're listening. Yeah, no, let's give a real, let's do a real one. So what are we at for real?

Two something. 227? Sure. So let's get up to 500,000. By tonight. If we get up to, no, no, I think if we get up to 500,000 subscribers by the time the NFL season kicks off, we will do a 24-hour Grit Stream during the NFL season.

That seems fair. Maybe, no, let's do it. Let's do it like August 15th. We'll do it before the NFL season. We don't want to do it during NFL season. When would we do it? We do it like Sunday morning through Monday or? That's what I'm saying.

We do it at the end of summer and then we start the season. NFL season is crazy. All right, so August 15th. And then we'll do it at the end of summer and kick off NFL season. Got it. Okay. We'll do it for like a- No, we'll do it for the week four of the preseason.

No, we'll do it for the first NFL game. On Thursday night. Yeah, all right. We'll do it starting like Wednesday night. And we'll stay up all night and then we'll watch the NFL game. Okay. Yeah. All right, so August 15th, we need 500,000 subscribers.

I don't think we'll get there. No. I'm just going to say it. Like, I'll straight up say it. You guys aren't going to do it. It's free to subscribe, but people won't do it. It's free to subscribe. All you got to do is hit the subscribe button,

but we will do a stream. And- You don't have to turn on alerts. I'll throw this in there. We will fly chilling with Chels to come to our studio and paint a shitload of stuff during the stream as well. All right, bonk. All right.

Which would be fucking awesome for a lot of reasons. Last one. Hey, Hank. What was the other reason? TFT, Kat, and Sweet Jake. I don't get it. When do you guys plan on covering the Division III NCAA swimming championship?

More specifically, when do you plan to cover the ODAC conference? I'd be happy to come on the show and explain the dynamics of the conference. Sounds like you get in the water and then you go fast and then the winner. We do. So when do you plan on covering the NCAA Division III swimming championship?

Never. We really need a new rival because handball is a bunch of fucking Lamos. Handball is thirsty. We made them relent, though. Like, they didn't even do anything. So I'll just say it. Swimming is not a real sport.

Handball is not. Olympics coming up. We can get that going. Swimming is not a real sport. It's a good time for that. It's a really good hobby. If you do it really fast, like, that's in. I'm not saying Michael Phelps is an impressive.

I'm saying swimming is not a sport. Swimming was impressive when the Olympics were invented in like the 00s. I don't think I'm from sharks. It's not even a hobby. It's just a means of staying alive that you can be more efficient at. Like, it's just a really good swimmer.

All they do is just not drown for a prolonged period of time. Correct. So not a sport. Maybe add sharks and we'll be cool with that. I was actually saying that they should dye the pool different colors. I hope you're cool, too. Like have a color rush pool.

Like a bright orange neon pink pool would be safe. I'd be down for that. But yeah, add some right now. There used to be a red zone in the pool where you can tell where you're getting close. Swimming not a sport. And I know with the response to be like, you guys couldn't even swim the fucking Jaguars pool.

Yeah, I could. And two, I'm not saying that like I could do it. I'm just saying not a sport. I'm just saying it's kind of fraudulent when you say like the best Olympian of all time is Michael Phelps. Right. That dude hits the bong on the rent. He just does laps and pools.

Like that's what my grandmother used to do to stay in shape. Right. He just jazzer sizes for an extended period of time. Yeah. When you go like on a vacation, you swim. Exactly. That's what I do as a relaxing activity. That's what I do to get less sore from playing real sports.

Yes. Yeah. When I'm on my off day, I'm like, I need a low impact exercise. This is. Right. No, you're right. You're right.

You're right. You're right. It's easy on the joints after doing heavy lifting and Olympic lifting. I don't have on days that I just said I swip on my off days. No, you're right. I've got the rankings for the D3 women's and men's swimming. We don't give it to us for a quick guess.

Let me know if we don't know. Let me guess. Men's or women's? Men's. Wheaton. All right. Men's, the number one team at the central region is Denison. Fake school.

Overrated. The West Midwest South region, all one, is Emery. You steroids. OK. The number one seed in the northeast north is MIT. OK. How are you going to lose to MIT? And then the number one seed in the northeast south region

is Carnegie Mellon. Isn't that in the city? That's. Yeah, of course. No, wait. Isn't that Pittsburgh? I think it's a bar. I think it's just a bar.

Pittsburgh. Yeah, Pittsburgh. I got a mix of a Carnegie Mellon. Way to go. How do you do that? All right, 41. I don't know why I know that. Why do I know that?

That's pretty sick. What is Carnegie Mellon doing? Well, because Carnegie was the steel guy. That's right. That's why. So it's like Vanderbilt Railroads, Tennessee. 18. Carnegie Steel, Pittsburgh.

Rockfeller. Gates. Eight. Divorces. 66. 99. 71. 71.

Give an amylphectic. The orangutan is the only ape that inhabits Asia. Love you guys. Whoa. Well, I don't know what I'm to say. I'm saying that you wait. Days are not the day to find you. Shine it away.

Oh, I'll be coming for your love of faith. Shine it away. Oh, I'll be coming for your love of faith. Take on me. Take me on. I'll be gone in a day or two. Needless to say, I'm all set in. But I'll be stolen away.

Further than the black is okay. Say after me, it's no better to be safe than sorry. Say after me, it's no better to be safe than sorry. Take on me. Take me on. I'll be gone in a day or two. Oh, I'll be gone in a day or two. All the things that you say is a lie.

But just to play my worries away. You're all things I've got to remember. Are you shining away? Well, I'll be coming for you anyway. Are you shining away? Well, I'll be coming for you anyway. Take on me. Take me on.

I'll be gone in a day or two. Take on me. I'll be gone in a day.