Pardon My Take - Brian Scalabrine And The Mt Rushmore Of Places To Sit
Episode Date: June 29, 2018Lebron is probably going to LA and also wants Kawhi, Paul George, and Kevin Durant to join him (2:23 - 10:59). Stephen A Smith's hair is actually making him more trustworthy (10:59 - 13:05). World Cup... talk and Senegal was eliminated by the dumbest rule in sports (13:05 - 15:24). Mt Rushmore of places to sit in or on (15:24 - 22:12). Former NBA All Star Brian Scalabrine joins the show to talk about how he survived in the league, working with the Big 3, who the best trash talker was, and where Lebron may go (22:12 - 71:46). Segments include Bad Visual for the Mexican TV analysts, Tim Tebow Update, the new segment should Big Cat race Rovell, and Jimbos of the week. You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake
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Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
or YouTube.
Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music.
On today's part in my take, we have the White Mamba, Ville Scalabrini aka Brian Scalabrini.
Scalabrini was awesome.
He was a really good guest.
Really fun interview, really cool guy.
You're going to have to check out the big three.
He's involved with that.
We'll talk about that with our interview.
We also have a little NBA free agency update, World Cup talk, and a Tim Tebow update.
Before we get to all of that, the Cash App, you know it because we love it and we talk
about it every single episode and we give away free money every single episode.
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Like I said, we're giving away free money, so let's get to the free money part.
Who do we give free money away to?
Hunter.
Hunter.
Hunter Lee.
Hunter Lee.
A lot of masculine names.
Hunter.
Remember Boy Meets World?
Yeah.
Was that guys Hunter?
Sean Hunter.
Sean Hunter.
Great hair.
Great hair.
Absolutely.
I tried to do that haircut for a while and it did not work.
The Skater Cut.
You remember that episode when you made Eric's dad drive him around in the car so he could
make out with his girlfriend in the backseat?
Such an alpha.
Big time alpha move.
So shout out Hunter.
Yeah.
Even bigger alpha move.
Download the Cash App, get free cash.
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Let's go.
Bye.
Bye.
Now in the street there is violence and then a lot of stuff will be done.
No place to hang alone washing and then I can't live all on the sun.
Oh no.
We're gonna run down to electric avenue and then we're taking higher.
Oh we're gonna run down to electric avenue and then we're taking higher.
Welcome to Part of My Take presented by SeekGeek.
Today is Friday, June 29th and it's a big Friday because most of the people out there
hopefully are about to take a week off, which we are as well.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I'm gonna apologize to every person who listens to this podcast except for Hank.
I'm sorry.
Well, so we're taking our first vacation in a really long time, but we're really not
taking a vacation because we've been working extra hard the last couple of weeks for you,
the award-winning listener.
And with that comes two episodes next week that are gonna be both very long Monday.
We have Mr. Portnoy.
We have Andy Buckley.
We have John Taffer.
We have Chris Long.
And then on Thursday, yes, you heard me correct, Thursday, we're releasing Thursday instead
of Friday because Thursday is the day after July 4th.
Can you put in a record scratch there?
Yeah.
And then narrator.
Yeah.
Actually, he meant Thursday.
Thursday.
We're releasing our, which might become a tradition, football in July episode.
So we miss football.
You miss football.
We're running some of the best of football guys and new football Mount Rushmore's with
Johnny Manziel, Danny Woodhead and Lane Johnson, so there's new stuff in there as well.
So I gotta admit, we've been a little bit sneaky the last month.
We've been doing a lot of work that you haven't known about.
It's like, it's like Christmas time.
Yeah.
We've been doing some Christmas shopping.
Yeah.
We've been hiding these interviews up in the ad.
Hiding the nuts away.
Thank you for not snooping around.
You know, get a mouthful of nuts.
Yeah.
Here's what we learned.
Preparing to go on a vacation actually ruins the entire thing of going on a vacation and
take work off.
Yes.
We were like, damn it.
We, oh man, another interview, but that's because we love you.
Future Us, Future Us said we're going to take a vacation and then when it came time
to actually do that, we just can't quit you guys.
If you love us back too, the Takies are coming up.
The Takies are coming up.
Are they right around the corner?
If you want to win a award-winning listener three times, you better listen to the whole
episode, maybe listen to half, then delete it, then redownload it if you really want
to be a good award-winning listener.
There's always a good award-winning listener.
Yeah, you are.
You are.
Who likes to scratch behind your little ears?
Okay.
That's weirdly a good segue because I want to talk quickly about the NBA and how we officially
have a bunch of dogs at the park just rolling over and asking people to rub their bellies.
I actually think the true alpha in the NBA now, Kauai.
Steph Curry.
Oh, okay.
Watch Steph.
Follow me.
The news was reported, Stephen A. Smith has heard through conversations that LeBron James
has texted Kevin Durant asking Kevin Durant if he would be interested to go to LA with
him, not more than just a date.
It's complicated on Facebook and the word is Kevin Durant was like, why would I do that?
Which makes sense.
So now we have LeBron rolling over his belly to Kevin Durant who Kevin Durant rolled over
his belly to Steph Curry.
Steph Curry basically can just stay on the Warriors, keep winning championships and everything
will fall.
LeBron will probably sign with him.
I want to point something out.
Stephen A. Smith, by the way, probably the best journalist in the history of the written
word.
Fact.
Well, the history of the screamed word.
Yeah.
Stephen A. has been receding into that cul-de-sac that he has for the last like five years.
It becomes like a satellite dish, your hair over his head.
So he's able to hear these whispers at a pace that you or I can't, that mere mortals
can't.
But I really, I like the idea of like a super, super team.
I do want LeBron to join up with as many like A-list stars as possible.
Yeah.
Just make the dream team in the NBA.
Exactly.
I want the NBA to be just the least competitive league in the history of sports.
You're absolutely right about Stephen A. Smith, though, and his hair and the cul-de-sac
is spot on and it makes you just like him because the cul-de-sac kid growing up was
the man.
Yeah.
You get to go play hockey in his cul-de-sac, you can do the skateboard and break your wrist.
I skateboarded once in my life, broke my wrist within 15 seconds.
You can drive power wheels.
Like no joke.
That's exactly, I jumped on, hit the fucking curb, boom, broken wrist.
The cul-de-sacs were great for bike riding because you could take your little jumps off
the driveways.
So Stephen A. Smith, he's the kid everyone wants to be friends with in the neighborhood
now with his hair.
Yes.
The cul-de-sac hair, Stephen.
So we have that, did you hear the most recent Kauai rumor?
Okay.
He signed it with the Lakers.
The Celtics is the new one.
So the Spurs are listening to offers, apparently things are getting pretty hot and heavy with
the Lakers.
There was a Godfather offer.
So I don't know if LeBron's, if that's like a horse head in his bed.
Maybe Magic's walking around with the book.
Maybe LeBron sent him the book.
Okay.
But there's a Godfather offer coming in for Kauai Leonard.
But they're not to be outdone by the Celtics and Danny Ainge.
You know what I would really like to see is, I want to see Danny Ainge get LeBron in Boston.
Slip a contract past him, sneak one past the goalie that doesn't have a no trade clause
and then get like 21st round picks for LeBron James and then trade him to like Orlando.
I mean, Danny Ainge, when he sees trades, trades going on in action, he's got to get
in.
He's the dude like, you know, if you're at a cocktail party, he's the guy who doesn't
really have a conversation with anyone.
So he just kind of butts in and just, what are you guys talking about?
That's Danny Ainge with trades.
If he hears the trade, he's like, I could get some more draft picks out of this.
I was going to say, he's like me, if I'm walking home past a Buffalo Wild Wings.
And I'm like, yeah, I'm going to go home and have a salad.
No big deal.
And I see just people in their housing wings just having a hootenanny.
And I'm like, I got to get my hands on some of that dry rub.
Is that why you moved to Times Square right next to the Buffalo Wings?
Yes.
Well, I live upstairs from it.
That's smell.
The fryer's smell.
There's nothing like it.
You don't need deodorant.
You don't need perfume.
Nope.
Yeah.
So Kauai, yeah, the rumor, I mean, Kauai, let's just say it right now because Kauai's
going to sign by the time we get back.
But where?
He's going to be, Kauai, or not going to sign, he's going to get traded.
He's going to get traded to the Lakers.
LeBron's going to sign with the Lakers.
Paul George is going to stay in Oklahoma.
No, I think playoff P is going to LA.
Beta P?
I think beta P is going to be a Laker.
Little P?
Chicharito.
Yeah.
Little Green P.
Hank, go your predictor.
So you have all three going there?
Yeah.
Big three.
Okay.
I have three going there, but it's KD, LeBron, Kauai.
That's awesome.
Oh, actually, no, I should change what I'm saying because I actually have a big three
in LA as well.
It's LeBron, Kauai, Kevin Love.
I actually think Kauai's going to get traded to the Lakers and LeBron's not going to go
there.
Oh, wait.
So if LeBron goes to LA, somebody update me on the Isaiah Thomas contract situation.
So he's still going to be on the Lakers?
No, I think he's a free agent, right?
Yeah, he's got to be.
They need to resign him.
Got to resign Isaiah.
That would be amazing.
Keep those two together.
And the biggest domino is going to be where, who has to deal with LeVar Ball?
That's the thing no one's talking about here is that when you trade for Lonzo, you got
LeVar up your ass.
I want to see LeBron go to the Lakers, play with Isaiah Thomas, and while they're there,
he's a free agent.
He is.
Well, they're going to resign him.
While they're there, they're going to remake the movie Twins, and it's going to be LeBron
and Isaiah Thomas.
Perfect.
And LeBron gets pregnant?
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, that's Junior.
No, that's Junior.
Yeah.
But LeBron can get pregnant too.
Same movie, right?
I could imagine LeBron being a guy who's like, I want to experience what women are like.
Yes.
Yeah.
I want to be close with my next child.
I also could see him like he's such an alien in terms of body type that he actually could
be the first one to carry a child full term.
He'd probably be a great mom.
Yeah.
Mr. Mom.
Yeah.
All credit to LeBron James.
I think that LeBron would be so great pregnant.
He's going to make so many bad movies.
I'm so excited for it because, oh, guess what guys, he was great at acting and trainwrecked.
And then when he loses, he's going to blame it on like having a production company or
like having other interests.
No.
LeBron would never do something like that.
No, it's probably just pretty much break his hand.
No.
They told him break a leg.
He pretty much had a broken leg.
Yeah.
LeBron James, I could see getting really into like a Facebook mom's breastfeeding group.
Like be very vocal about book club, about you should be able to breastfeed on the court
during an immediate game.
Yeah.
LeBron, dude, the biggest winner of this whole thing has got to be Adam Sandler.
He's like LeBron's coming L.A.
Yeah.
Holy fuck.
That's like another 15 years of my movie career.
Yeah.
I'm going to buy stock in Netflix right now.
So it is free agency season.
Chris Broussard is the number one source.
Just want to remind everyone the brew crew screaming.
He's confirming.
He confirmed the famous confirmed that LeBron's going back to Cleveland after LeBron actually
wrote the article in his own words and he confirmed LeBron's own words.
All time power move.
So we'll leave that there.
We'll see what happens.
I don't know.
We have CJ McCollum on the show when we come back after the fourth.
So they'll be fun.
And we got to talk a little World Cup.
So the best thing that ever happened.
We predicted it.
We talked about it.
Fair play rule decided who gets to advance Japan or Senegal and Japan the fairest of
fair plays.
The most honorable country.
The dumbest rule ever.
Wait.
You don't like fair play.
You don't like integrity.
No.
I actually have a solution for you.
Mike Greenberg's dumb rules.
You ready for it.
Yeah.
OK.
So if you tie.
So if the the instead of fair play it should be if you beat them head to head right.
And they tied.
So anytime a tie happens a group stage they should just do a P.K. that they can save
for later.
Oh.
Yeah.
It's like this doesn't count now.
But if you guys end up tying everything else it then counts.
So it could end up being like a penalty kick shootout that never happened.
Correct.
I like that.
Yeah.
I do like retroactively eliminated.
And also you just get a free penalty like that's the one thing I never understand with
soccer fans and they're like oh I can't stand it when it gets decided by P.K.'s.
I love that.
No penalty kicks are probably the most exciting thing.
I get that it's not like it's not soccer.
It's a very specific skill set and soccer right that's applied to like you know make
a team on or get defeated.
I get why people might get upset about that.
But you get a big dumpy in your body if you think that in that movie of yours.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's the most fun thing.
I will say with an asterisk you can't decide the goat dependent on penalty kicks.
Oh definitely.
I'm just putting that in there.
Yes you can.
Nope.
Nope.
I'm gonna look up the stats real quick.
You know he converts on 86% of his P.K.'s and messy.
You know what I think it's what like 70 yeah because there's not a wall that he has to
bend it around.
If you just put a wall in front of you put the whole team in front of you to score 90%
of the time.
He's got a goalie he can bend it around.
Whatever.
We're not talking about that.
So the World Cup it's been a great who never missed a world or who never missed a P.K.'s.
Who.
Bajio.
Roberto Bajio.
And he thought we were gonna say that didn't you Hank.
His brother.
I'm actually more of a fan of Dino Bajio.
Like what's.
He's the Billy Ripken of Italian soccer.
It was Pedro's brother.
Pedro's brother was was a shitty pitcher too.
Raul.
I think it was Raul.
And then Hank Aaron had a brother hit one home run.
And so they're the brothers with the most home runs in major league baseball.
That's a fun fact.
History of brothers.
That is okay Ravel.
Yeah.
And Chris Long has two Super Bowls and Kyle Long's gonna have three.
So what about Jake Ramon Ramon Ramon Martinez Ramon Martinez.
How many years did he pitch.
Stat boy.
13 year career.
Oh shit.
I was wrong on that.
Wow.
I was I was very wrong on that.
Oh wait.
I might have just popped up because I typed in Pedro and he popped up ahead of him.
So it's in my Ramon Martinez pitching for 13 years.
Really good.
Yeah.
That guy was good.
Jesus.
Jesus.
Jesus Martinez.
Nice.
No.
Ramon.
It's Ramon.
Okay.
Okay.
Well that was talking Martinez brothers.
That was a fun little rabbit hole.
I still don't know who his brother is.
Embrace the Bay.
Is it a rabbit hole or a worm hole.
I think it's a rabbit hole.
Worm hole is.
Wikipedia.
Never come back.
Click click click.
Yeah worm hole you can never come back.
You chase the rabbit down when you're high on opium.
Right.
But then you're writing a book.
But then you come back.
Okay.
You take a trip down there and you come back worm hole you're gone.
You're gone.
You become one with the earth.
Or you end up on the other side of a bookcase in a really terrible movie that lasts three
hours and you talk to your daughter by hitting the books off the case.
Your past daughter.
Yeah.
Your past daughter.
Sweet Jesus.
Sweet Jesus.
That movie sucked.
Sweet Jesus.
Conception sucked.
All right.
It really did.
I rewatched it and it was so bad the second time.
You know that's interstellar.
Interstellar.
Inception was good.
Yeah.
Same thing.
I never saw Inception.
You didn't bro.
No bro.
What the fuck.
How could you not.
Hank and I saw that together in the movies and then we went and and and did a review
after that was not a very good video.
It's a big idea of ours.
That's a great story.
Yeah.
It was great.
It was even better review.
What are you going to say Hank.
We should have turned that into a podcast.
Yeah.
We should have made a movie podcast.
Maybe we'll watch.
Maybe we'll watch interstellar in the future and then we'll sit down and we'll review
it.
Okay.
Let's do it.
Before we get to Brian Scalbrini let's do our Mount Rushmore.
The Mount Rushmore of places to sit in or on.
Hmm.
Huh.
Huh.
Interesting.
Yeah.
That's a person who loves sitting.
Well.
Yeah.
Given the choice to sit or stand even when it comes to peeing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
True.
Do.
Who wants to start?
Hank.
You can start big cat.
You want me to start?
Yeah.
Who wants to go second?
Oh we're doing snake.
Yeah.
We always do snake.
We do snake.
It's a new thing.
Once we figured out snake we do snake every day.
You don't figure out snake.
Hank.
Once you get there.
All right.
Hank.
Go second.
All right.
I'll start.
I will go with a great comfortable recliner.
Hmm.
That's the best.
Do you have your personal space?
You don't have to deal with other people.
Hmm.
You have a cup holder.
Maybe if you even have a really nice recliner you remember those ones they made where you
had a fridge underneath.
Those were only existing in like sitcoms.
Or the man show.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's that.
I think they just came out with a recliner that has like a USB plug in it too.
Yes.
Yeah.
So that is it.
Like if you got your real comfortable recliner especially when you've worked in.
Hmm.
That's perfect.
Sit.
You can sleep.
You can do everything.
Hmm.
This one might not be relatable because it's just I just realized this when I was in
Aruba last week on vacation.
But those pool.
Oh you went on vacation.
Those ocean floats.
We didn't miss a beat.
Yeah.
Where half of your like part of your water you're like asses in the water.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can still float.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If you're getting everything.
That's good.
That's good.
That's going so you can pee while you're in it too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's cool.
You feel like you're almost swimming but you're not.
That is very cool.
Okay.
So I get two.
Yeah.
I'm going to go with hot tub.
Okay.
I'm going to get a hot tub.
I'm going to get a hot tub.
Can't get a hot tub.
Can't get an STD in a hot tub.
Can't be.
You can't be forced to testify in a hot tub.
My second is going to be I'm going to go with a toilet.
Okay.
The toilet can be the most comfortable seat in the house under the conditions.
It definitely can.
It has your element of like solitude in there.
No one's going to bother you.
You take your time.
Check your phone.
You remember back in the day when we didn't have cell phones.
Yeah.
When you just like read the shampoo bottle.
Yeah, you have to have something to read.
Yeah, that's where I did the phone.
Majority of my Rick Riley.
Yeah, Rick Riley, the newspaper, and your legs fall asleep
and you get up and you're like, oh my god,
I shit so hard that I can't walk anymore.
No, your legs fell asleep.
That's as close as I'll ever get to a purple heart.
Yeah, Hank, you're up.
My number two will be sitting in a sauna when you're hungover.
Ooh, that's good.
I'm more of a steam room guy, but I could see that.
Steam room sauna.
Yeah, you can do that, you can do that,
although they're not the same.
But you can do that.
Steam room is better.
Steam room is way better.
Steam room makes you sweat.
I changed my entire gym membership just based on the fact
this new one had a steam room.
Sauna just makes you want to drink water.
Really bad.
All right, okay.
All right, I'm going to go with number two for me.
Sitting on a private plane.
That's pretty, pretty, pretty nice.
You're going on a private plane?
Super relatable, big cat.
I'm just saying.
You've not been on one?
Oh, you haven't?
And I never will, bro.
That's bad, my bad.
I shouldn't have done that.
I'm sorry.
You have some aspirations for yourself.
All right, how about this one?
How about this one?
My third one.
I feel like coach, I feel like coach's son.
Sitting in the captain chair of a boat.
Nothing better than driving a boat.
A lot of responsibility though.
Yeah, a lot of responsibility,
but also you feel like the most powerful man in the world.
And it's usually comfortable
because they have like really nice boats.
I've actually only done that maybe once or twice,
but every time, badass.
I've sat there,
but I haven't been given permission to drive.
Yeah, right, right, right.
Exactly, you're kind of there for,
yeah, that's the thing.
It's like, I don't own a boat.
I don't have anyone who I know owns a boat,
but I just, you know,
you get to sit in it for a minute
and it's like, yes, this is baller.
My number three will be a big beanbag chair.
Not a big beanbag guy.
No.
I just, I never got into him.
I don't know.
I just, I think it's because I'm too fat and my body.
Well, there's a lot of,
there's a lot of shitty beanbags out there,
but if you get like a good quality,
that's true.
Furry, fuzzy, comfortable that you can like jump in
and it just absorbs your whole body.
I need structure around my body
because my body itself doesn't have any structure.
This is a big like glob of whatever's going on.
I agree.
Standing up from a beanbag chair is a real problem.
Yeah, it is.
All right, you got your third and fourth PFT.
Yes, okay.
I'm going to go with just a throne.
A throne in general.
If you, if you're sitting in a throne, you've made it.
Congrats.
What about a throne of lies?
You don't have to do anything else.
Oh, what about a throne of lies?
That's not a real thing.
Yeah.
Bernie Madoff would disagree.
That's not a real place that you can sit.
That's an abstract thought.
I mean, what real thrones have you sat on?
I'm just saying sitting in a throne would be great.
Well, I kind of disagree because most kings
and like monarchs were things of the past.
And again, we've talked about it,
living where you're sitting on a throne,
you don't have your cell phone.
Well, that sucks.
You still have like a bunch of turkey legs
and whatever else they put in the feast.
You gotta eat grapes and if you're in Rome,
you probably have to like,
drink and meet.
Have a bunch of little boys around
and all that weird shit that they did
and vomit on each other.
Well, I'm okay with vomiting on each other,
but I draw the line having a little boys around.
That was a history of Rome.
Quick synopsis.
All right, so I got thrown as number three
and then my last one is one of those
really comfortable movie chairs.
In a theater that you pay like 20 bucks for a ticket for?
Yeah.
Totally worth it.
Every single time I will buy the premium seat if I can.
I'd agree.
That's a good pick.
My number four will be when you're sitting
on a winning bet ticket.
So like when you bet the capitals
or win the Stanley Cup and you know that it's our year
and you're just like, I have $1,500 free money.
I can do whatever I want.
Yeah.
It's a great feeling to sit on that winning bet.
Fuck.
All right, that's a good one Hank.
Fuck.
Fuck.
That was nice.
Fuck.
All right, my last one.
What?
Nothing.
Okay, I'll go with when you're at a crowded bar
and you find a seat and you get that seat
that you can spot up in all night.
You got the action around you.
Everyone's like, you don't have to get up.
You're not being anti-social.
Maybe even if you have that seat,
the best seat is when you get the seat
with the windows open under the street
and you can sit right up on it.
Nothing better than having like a perfect bar night
where you have a seat.
All right, that's our Mount Rushmore.
Love it.
We're gonna tweet it at part of my take.
A couple that we missed.
I was gonna do sweet at a game,
sitting in a sweet at a game.
That's pretty good.
And a massage chair.
We missed a massage chair.
Massage chairs are nice, but very short life on those.
You don't wanna hang out in a massage chair.
They've gotten really painful.
Like massage chairs are painful.
I think you've just gotten soft.
Yeah, no more I've gotten too stressed out.
Too many knots, because I work so hard.
Maybe you should try it.
Maybe you got soft skin.
Or that.
I do have blogger skin.
Watch it.
All right, before we get to Brian Scalabrini,
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I like that.
Admiral Nelson's, I actually have not been a rum guy
for a while.
I think I'm gonna make this the summer of rum.
What do you think about that?
Yeah, rum, I think we did a taste test the other day, right?
Yeah.
It's better than Papi Van Winkle.
Rum is better than Eagle Rare.
Yeah.
All sorts of Kentucky Bourbons.
So let's do it.
Let's have the summer of rum.
Admiral Nelson's Rum, it's gonna be the summer of rum,
and we're in on it.
So thank you to them for sponsoring the show.
Also, Bird Dogs, the shorts that we've been talking about,
they're a sponsor, and we love Bird Dogs.
So they've been doing some weird copies for ads.
How have you been doing it, PFT?
Have you been just reading them?
Because they're all over the place, aren't they?
Yeah, I kind of read them.
But I'll tell you, I'm wearing them right now.
I am too.
You want to just go free form with it?
Yeah.
OK, here's what I like about Bird Dogs.
They have two zipper pockets on each side.
So you have your regular pockets,
then they have zipper pockets behind your phone, your wallet.
There's nothing better than being
able to walk around knowing that no matter where you sit,
if you're on a boat, if you're on a roller coaster,
your phone's staying in your pocket because it's Bird Dogs.
What do you like?
I like the built-in underwear that they have.
Yeah.
I don't have to worry about doing laundry at all.
Yeah.
I just don't do laundry anymore.
I just keep reeing up with new Bird Dogs.
Yeah, and also, they're stylish.
So they actually look good, but you can also work out in them.
You can swim in them.
That's what's really cool, is I wear mine to the gym.
And then I'm like, actually, you know what?
I'm not going to work out.
I'm just going to go to the pool at my gym,
and I'm just going to swim.
This has actually been a really nice ad read.
Bird Dogs are really good.
We haven't even read it.
Like, we're just talking free form.
Bird Dogs shorts are really, really good.
No joke.
I've gotten compliments on my legs in these.
And then here, I'll read one sentence off this.
Marlin's man, because every pair he bought,
he'd donate to the troops and post it on Snapchat.
So there you go.
BirdDogs.com, check them out.
BirdDogs.com, we're being 100% honest here.
We wear them all the time.
They sent us a bunch of shorts.
I've worn them basically every day of the summer.
BirdDogs.com, check them out.
Buy them the best shorts you can get this summer.
All right, let's get to our interview with Brian Scalabrini.
Awesome guy, really fun guy.
I always can tell, if an interview goes well,
the person wants to go to our little merch room after.
And he was like, yeah, let's go.
Let's do it.
And he actually said afterwards that I should text him
the Ray Allen DM, which came up in the interview.
Yes, yes.
He's like, send me that, please.
He was a little uncomfortable at first,
because he didn't know what was going on,
but then he was like, that's funny.
That's fucking hilarious.
But either way, Brian Scalabrini, really good sport,
and you gotta watch the Big Three.
You can watch, I think you can bet on it now.
Fuck yeah.
So Big Three on Fox, FS1.
Make sure you watch it.
Brian Scalabrini is involved.
Lot of good guy, boozers involved.
We had him on Gary Payton's involved.
Make sure you watch it.
We now welcome on a very special guest.
It is Brian Scalabrini, a.k.a. the Vanilla Godzilla,
a.k.a. the White Mamba, a.k.a. Veal Scalapini,
a.k.a. Brian Scalowini.
Has anyone called you that?
Right, when I was a kid.
Yeah, well, I just did.
Brian Scalowini.
We really wanna go there right now.
Yeah, I just did.
I started off right there.
I mean, it's amazing.
The nicknames have been flowing all day today.
And the Jinja Ninja came up.
I like that one a lot.
But the guy, he called me a Jinjer Ninja,
which I was like, yo, man.
You can't use the ER.
You can't use the ER, man.
That's your word.
No, no, exactly.
You gotta be, gotta be like long A, right?
Jinja.
What about the red herring?
No.
That's good.
That's pretty good, though.
I like that.
What about the man with no soul?
Yeah, I represent all redheads.
And I think it's absolutely true.
I have no soul.
Do you think you represent all redheads?
I think, you don't think it's whatever,
the tomato can guy?
What's that guy?
No.
Sean White.
No, because like, I'm actually trying in life.
He's trying to be that guy.
No, Sean White or Carrot Top.
You're Sean White.
Big different.
He's so good, though.
Like redheads are usually gonna be under the radar, right?
Like trying their best.
Yeah.
What about Andy Dalton?
Better than, too good.
Okay.
You gotta be a rejects a little bit.
Michael Rappa Rich, instead of Michael Rappa Poor.
Told you we'd do the bad jokes.
You know, Mike is trying too hard as well.
Yeah.
You know, he's trying way too hard with all the,
everything he has a rant about.
Like, come on, you can't have an opinion over
all those things.
Right.
Exactly.
Come on, man.
Your whole styles jump on this show.
You guys are wack.
So.
So you are the White Mamba, though.
You are here with Big Three.
It's starting again.
We're at the Redberry.
I wish.
The White Mamba, though, that's the nickname.
The best.
That's, you can't, you cannot do better than the White.
Are you ever worried that someone else
is gonna take White Mamba from you?
I don't think it, I think there's been a few people
that have referenced other White guys as the White Mamba
and the social media, the Scala Maniacs out there
are not having it.
But, I mean, look what they're doing to MJ now.
Eventually we're gonna get to a point
where everyone's gonna be like,
no, who's my, that's my White Mamba.
Like, I don't care about your White Mamba.
But we get like 10 years.
So who's MJ?
I'm saying like all the LeBron stands,
all the LeBron sexuals are bashing MJ.
Eventually your day is gonna come.
Oh, shit, you know what it's gonna be?
And you're not gonna be the White Mamba.
It's gonna be Dante DiFoncincio.
Or, or, maybe, Grayson Dillon.
The next iteration of the Italian Redhead.
No, he's the man.
He dunks too much, though.
I like him, I think, and he don't give a, you know what.
He's probably too good, though.
We'll see.
The White Mamba.
We'll see, it's a unique scenario.
I was on good teams and I was bad.
And I stuck around good teams that were bad
for so long.
Most guys, they're getting their shot
and then they're out of the league.
But I was like bad on good teams.
So I want to talk about that.
So, you know, I think people underrate the ability
to stick around in the NBA.
Cause you see all these guys who were great in college.
I mean, even like a gym or for debt.
Oh, for sure.
He can't stick around in the NBA.
How, like, what was your secret sauce?
What was the way that you were able to stick around
for as long as you did, not being a starter?
So, ultimate role player.
That's it, right?
I didn't try to be those guys.
I only wanted to do was fill in for a starter.
Kenyon Martin gets hurt.
How can I be good that day?
And, you know, without disrupting the offense,
cause I would know what we're running,
what they're running, not messing up a game plan.
And so a coach is looking at me saying,
all right, I know I can count on him if I need him.
And when he's not playing,
and I can sit over there bitching on the sideline,
he's going to support his teammates.
So like, I don't know nowadays if that flies.
But listen, I played in 2001.
I think there's a different era.
I think like GMs nowadays are looking for
like the next greatest thing.
They'll, you know, try like an 18 year old,
see if it works, if it doesn't, they'll try another.
They're not going to stick with a solid guy
because that's not going to help them,
you know, get eventually a steal in the second round.
So coaches like me, the reason I got the last two years
in Chicago is for that reason, right?
Tibodeau was going to Chicago.
He was like, I need a guy from Boston.
I was with him when we went to the two finals.
And he's like, no, I need a guy that's going to be solid
and a guy who's going to work hard every single day
and be there if I need to play him and not, if he's not.
And I think, but I don't know
if those are going to happen anymore.
I think you have to be better than I was to make it now.
Or be LeBron's best friend.
That's all he's got.
He just brings on one guy.
It's here, Shantae Jones.
But there's like, there's only a few of those guys.
I think there were a lot more,
a lot more like me back in those days,
as opposed to now.
They're just like, with the G League
and the two-way contracts and stuff like that,
everyone's looking for that next guy.
So I don't know, like my era,
I don't think that's that kind of stuff
that's going to happen anymore.
So you're coming off the bench.
Let's say you are coming in for Kenyon Martin.
He's out for a couple of weeks, what have you.
You step in, you don't try to be Kenyon Martin.
So you tell me you couldn't play
the same role as Kenyon Martin?
No.
You're not jumping over people.
No, it's not like, I think there's a group of plays
that we run that they know that they can count on me.
Like I was the idea, there wasn't,
when I played, there was four stretch fours in the NBA.
Now there's like three on every team, right?
So like it was a unique situation.
Okay, we're going to run spread offense.
We're going to do this.
It's going to work.
And in regular season, you can get away with that
because I'm going to play hard as shit and get away.
And you know, but in the playoffs,
when everyone is raising their level,
like I'm like negated, like how hard I play is negated.
Yeah.
So going, you know, town to town,
there were definitely some nights that you knew
you probably weren't going to get a lot of minutes
that day, right?
Yeah, but I was stupid enough to think I was.
So you weren't, you weren't a guy that would like take
advantage of that and go out and party it up.
So one time Kenyon Martin went up for a jump ball,
came down and sprained his ankle.
So 1158 first quarter.
I played like 45 minutes at night.
So in my, you know, and I got to be a little insane
to think this, right?
A little bit dumb and most NBA players,
they're delusional of how good they are.
But when that happened, I realized that your moment
can come at any time you have to be able to deliver.
What if I would have went out the night before?
What if I didn't like, I was like, man,
I was sulking because I wasn't playing
and I ruined that opportunity.
I don't play 11 years.
But you got to be a little bit stupid
and have like a kind of a bipolar disorder
to be able to do something like that.
Well, also you're very durable because you didn't jump high
enough to land on your ankle long and get yourself
a bit too high.
Yeah, never get too high.
That was Kenyon Martin's mistake.
You're also, I read this about you,
you're a foot injury survivor.
Broken foot.
A metatarsal, right?
Yeah, but those are easy.
No, no, they're not, no, they're not.
I had one, it's difficult.
Metatarsal is nothing, it's like that navicular.
Yeah, navicular.
Jones fracture, that's what I had.
Yeah, Jones, nothing.
No, it's tough, it was tough.
In your estimation, what do you think is more severe injury?
Having a Jones fracture in your foot,
you know, especially in a city like New York,
you can't even get around anywhere.
It's impossible to do anything.
Or getting bit by a dog one time, like on your pinky.
On your pinky?
It's right through my finger.
On your pinky.
You blood everywhere, Scow.
I'm telling you, are you squeamish?
I'll stop the story now.
No, you have a picture.
I'll stop the story now.
I'll stop the story now.
You know what, I'll stop the story.
How big was the dog?
It was probably like 10 pounds.
But small dogs bite harder, they got sharper teeth.
It's true.
I had surgery.
You ever get bit by a puppy?
Why did you?
It's fucking razor sharp.
Sure, but do you tell people this?
This is kind of like embarrassing.
Well, he brings up his foot injury, so.
Well, I mean, it's a pretty severe injury.
He kept Ben Simmons out for a year.
Technically, I'm eligible for rookie of the year right now.
True, true.
So what about a bench player, like end of the lineup guy?
Are you allowed to tell jokes in the locker room?
Are you allowed to keep it light even though you're not playing?
I was wondering.
Yeah, on the bench too.
But you're only to the right people.
Right.
Can't tell KG that shit.
Right, so like when you're trying to get guys loose
before a game, you're not joking around?
No, no, no, no.
All right, you got to know your place on that spot.
Well, I had my guy Eddie House.
You guys know Eddie House, right?
Like big joke teller.
Big communicator on the bench.
Other guys, more serious.
But me and him, like during that run, 2008,
like he's always joking.
For him, he needs to stay loose because when he goes into the game,
you know, he's going to let it fly.
But yeah, he was like really, he was like that.
What about in the finals?
When you're not playing in the finals and everyone's getting,
like is it just you just shut up the entire finals?
Yeah, you don't hear me.
Really?
You don't even know I'm there.
I was wondering because, you know, there is that, you know,
thought process that like in the finals,
in a big moment like that,
you still want to keep the guys loose.
No, that's not my job.
Okay, you'll see that wasn't part of your job.
No, like in, in 0-8 against Atlanta, man,
when we went game seven to Atlanta,
like guys were like really tense during that time.
I had no doubt in my mind we were going to beat them at home.
We shouldn't even been in the game seven.
But now, man, it's like the playoffs are a different level.
Regular season, 82, man, I hear you.
But in the playoffs, all that stuff goes away.
Did Kevin Garnett even understand jokes?
Oh, so he was a funny guy up until 60 minutes on the clock.
Like, you know, he liked, he's like family guy,
you know, the show.
Do they still have that show?
Yeah.
Okay, so he's a big family guy
and he would watch that, the show would end,
the clock would start ticking,
count down from 60 and he boom, became a different guy
all the way up until about 15 minutes after the game.
And then he'd like come out of it and be back.
And then he's like laughing and joking on the bus,
great on the plane.
But during game time, he was on a different level.
Did he ever talk trash you in practice?
No.
You ever get at you in practice?
He got at me when he was with Minnesota
and I was on Boston.
He talked a lot, I tried to intimidate me.
Really?
What did he say to you?
No, just like, there's no way you should be out here.
I can't believe that coach put you on me.
You got no chance, like that kind of stuff.
But as far as a teammate, the most encouraging guy ever.
Like he wants everyone to do well.
The whole scenario, remember the big baby
was crying on the bench and everyone thought it was Garnett.
Like Garnett was trying to pull him out of it.
Everybody else was on baby for messing up
a defensive assignment, but no,
the Garnett's like the best teammate ever.
I forgot he cried on the bench.
Yeah, no.
Garnett's the best teammate ever.
That's a tough nickname to have and be crying on the bench.
Yeah, no question.
That's just bad circumstance.
Were you ever on the bench when maybe some teammates
were chirping at Joey Crawford?
Or did you ever chirp at Joey Crawford?
No, like we had a memo.
Joey Crawford, he's doing a game at night,
shut the F up.
Really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you know those guys.
You know before like.
Joey Crawford is the best official
in the history of the game.
You know he doesn't, he doesn't,
you don't have to say this.
No, no, no, that's my guy.
Like all the way, my guy, but he don't.
There's actually, for people who can't see,
there's actually like a red dot
that's now going on Scalabrini's head.
I think there's a sniper in the building.
David Cernskic is out here.
Joey Crawford, he's great.
Yeah, yeah, guys.
He's the best.
You really like him?
You like playing, you like games that he officiated?
Because I think that he controls the game better than anybody.
And becomes the game.
But only in the first half.
The fans are there to see Joey Crawford.
No, no, no, no.
You got to look at what, what matters in the NBA.
It's the second half.
That matters.
The first half, he's going to dictate that.
He's going to call the right foul.
He's going to get to play the way he wants it.
And in second half, you rarely hear about him.
Once in a while.
But, I think he's the best.
So you guys would like, like would your teammates agree
that a ref that is, you know, controlling the game like that
versus a ref that might let them play and then go back and forth?
When you guys have NBA players on here,
and you ask about Joey Crawford, do they all say the same thing?
Yes, just go with it.
Yeah, sure.
Rashid Wallace, as much as the beef that those guys could have,
could not have, right?
After the NBA finals, 2010, we bring him in the locker room.
Rashid Wallace comes in and says, guys, this is too hard.
I'm going to retire.
He goes in his uniform right into the official's locker room.
Joey, you're the best damn official in the league, has ever had.
Then he like walks out of staples in his uniform,
but he made sure he stopped by to say to Joey Crawford,
you're the best there is.
He's probably just really, really high.
Yeah.
I can't be high.
I want to go talk to the guy when you can't be high and play basketball.
But how long does, if you're playing a whole game,
a game is like three hours.
No, you got high before, yeah.
But how long does it last?
I mean, I'm sure he's got some good stuff.
It's California, right?
That game was in California.
No, it was 2010.
It's not the same thing as nowadays.
All right, yeah.
Rashid Wallace is a smoking bitch.
Yeah.
Do you ever think about the game you guys
lost when Kobe shot was a six for 24?
All the time, man.
Yeah.
All the time.
That game has shaped my life big time.
Really?
Everyone thinks like, well, 2008 has shaped me
as far as my career and financially and all that stuff.
You're NBA champion forever.
For sure.
But my life is more dictated by 10 and being so close.
Really?
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
And what about, I mean, so that series obviously famously Kendrick
Perkins goes down, then he gets traded.
Was that the end of that Celtics run?
Because a lot of, I think, Hank is a big Celtics fan.
He points to that, you know, the Kendrick Perkins trade.
That core kind of got broken up right there.
Yeah, you can point to that.
You know, those guys were getting older.
The game was changing rapidly.
It was becoming a smaller game, more small, but more stretch
fours, as we talked about earlier.
So I think Danny made a pretty good move.
He went small and got rid of it.
And he still had Shaq.
And he got Chris Dick, which was a good player.
But Kendrick had a certain, him and Garnett defensively
were great.
But I think you have to remember that things were changing
at the time, right?
Like what was good in 2008 necessarily wasn't good in 2011.
And things were starting to shift rapidly into small ball.
So that's why he made the move.
That's true.
In practice, when you were a Celtic and Danny would
pace the floor, if he'd come down and watch practice,
would everybody turn it up a notch?
No.
Because this guy is fucking crazy.
He could trade any one of us?
No, it wasn't it.
He wasn't doing that as much during the heyday, right?
Yeah.
8, 9, and 10.
He made a move.
Nate Robinson for Eddie House.
But he wasn't making the moves he makes now.
But he still, he felt like he had hall of fame type of players
and or top 50 type of players.
So he thought he had the championship team.
Now he's trying to get more of those type of guys.
So I don't know if people feel that way.
But Danny is one thing.
He loves his players.
But it doesn't mean that he doesn't have a job to do.
And sometimes you've got to get rid of guys that you love.
He loves Isaiah.
He loved David Bradley.
But it's how this business is.
Yeah.
So Tom Thibodeau, I mean, I love Tom Thibodeau.
I think he's one of the best coaches.
But he now is in a situation in Minnesota
where you hear the rumblings of Kat maybe not liking him.
You had the same thing at the end in Chicago
where people were saying the guys were burnt out.
You played for him both when he was assistant and a head coach.
Do you think that there's any credence in that?
So it's interesting that when people say those type of things,
but like Jimmy Butler wanted to go play for him.
Derek Rose.
Yeah, joking.
No one said that he made him who he is.
Yeah.
And Taj Gibson ran there during free agency.
So you could say all that stuff.
I think with like, you know, Carl Anthony Towns,
he has not been coached at a high level by anybody else.
And he doesn't know like what it takes.
Ooh, that's a shot at John Calpari.
Big shot at John Calpari.
Well, not at the NBA.
Not at the NBA.
No, he just rolls the ball out there.
You're right.
Yeah.
I'm not saying that.
I'm just saying like in the NBA, you have to, you know,
and, and, and Mitchell was, was, was fine.
He was there for one year.
He didn't know much, but you start to realize how good
tips is once you leave him.
But I think now it's, it's interesting.
I don't really understand the whole like minutes thing
and why he gets B for the minutes.
Well, I mean, he does play a lot of his guys.
He grinds a lot of them.
But Ron James plays a lot of minutes too.
Yeah.
No, well, I mean, that's out of necessity as well.
I think, I think when, I think people get upset because he
doesn't seem to manage the minutes very well in February.
Like even LeBron, I mean, this year was probably the
outlier because he played every single game, but you could
tell when LeBron would take a couple of weeks where he's
like, all right, this is where I'm going to get almost
active rest during the season.
Well, during the games.
Yeah.
During games.
He doesn't play defense anymore.
Yeah.
But Thibodaux hasn't really kind of figured that out
sometimes.
Whereas the bowls will always play, you know, the under
the Thibs bowls, they would always play really hard.
Every single night, max effort, but sometimes you don't need
max effort in February.
There's a good, there's something to be said about that.
And I would tell him during the time that I was there, this
is before the minutes police, whoever they started, I don't
know, established in 2010 or something like that.
I might have been part of the minutes police.
Okay.
So when I was there, I would go to his office and there was
Jimmy Butler.
It was a wire tapped office.
Just so you know.
Was it?
Yeah.
So Jimmy Butler and Omir Ashik and Kyle Korver and these
guys, right?
And I believed in these, in some of these guys.
And I would tell Thibs, like in the playoffs, I think you're
a hundred percent right.
But in the regular season, you are such a good coach that you
can play any five guys and you guys can win.
Right.
Hence, like Lou Aldang could be hurt and Jimmy
Butler could play 40 minutes and you can win that game.
But whatever reason, the next time he would revert back to
the starters.
And I would always tell him, like, I agree with you and
there's a certain point.
But in the regular season, you can trust these guys because
they're always going to be more prepared than the next team.
Right.
And they're going to execute their offense.
But eventually I talent wins out.
I get it.
But you are too good of a coach to ride your starters.
Right.
Like starters are starters.
What real good coaching comes in is getting the maximizing your
bench.
And I think that he is such a good coach.
He could do that.
Why he didn't do that was beyond me.
But we would have like, I wouldn't call it an argument as
much as like a player could tell a coach, right?
I don't know that that relationship is really unique.
But I would tell him, like you, you can do this.
You can play these guys and you can still win.
And their second unit had like a defensive rating of 76.
So no matter how bad they were offensively, that unit could
like stay in games and you can give your players two more
minutes rest.
But I was, that was before the menace police.
And I had nothing to do with whether guys were pushed or not.
I just believed that he could trust those other guys and he
did when guys got hurt.
Yeah.
But he didn't win.
Everyone was healthy.
Did you ever make him laugh?
You were seeing him laugh all the time.
No.
Oh my God.
We have, you're not that funny.
We have that.
Like after practice, we have lunch together and shut up and he
cracks and he cracks jokes all the time with Tom Debedo.
Yeah.
He actually like spent time with other human beings.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't, I don't, the way that people see him is not the way
that I see him.
Well, I mean, it's hard when you put that out there.
Like he, he kind of comes across as that guy.
No, man.
Like he loves basketball.
And if you're talking his language, he's going to like, he's
going to be fine with you.
And I mean, Doc obviously was a very different coach.
I'd imagine just more of a player's coach.
That combination was ridiculous.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like Doc, like knowing when to push and pull back.
Debedo every day driving us in 2008.
But like Debedo could have, like that team, you couldn't have done
too much with that team.
Like, like Garnett is a hard pushing guy.
Right.
If he says it, we're all sticking to it.
He doesn't deviate from the game plan.
Everyone's really intelligent.
Everyone held each other accountable.
So I think that was a really good coaching staff.
So would you consider yourself a Celtic for life or a both of life?
Yeah, Celtic.
Celtic.
So if you're going in the Hall of Fame, you're going in as a Celtic.
Yeah.
If, if a big win, you go into the Hall of Fame.
You've got to be in some Hall of Fame.
Are you up for something like your high school or USC?
No, I'm not sure I am.
Really?
Ah, maybe I'm making it into the Broadcasters Hall of Fame.
Ooh.
We know what they do.
They charge you like an enormous amount of fees to actually be a part of it.
Then they put you in.
And then to stay in, you got to pay more fee.
That's the hell of a ride.
We got to start out on Hall of Fame.
We'll pay.
The Barstool Hall of Fame.
Yeah, how much money they got you.
Yeah, exactly.
Like, it's $1,000 a year.
Yep.
Right.
And to stay in, it costs like 2,500 just to skip.
There's an initiation fee.
It's like a country club.
And then you got to pay your back.
Are you in?
We'll put you in.
Let me find out.
Could I be the first?
Yeah.
Absolutely.
For those prices.
It's just cash.
Yeah, you'll be mad not to.
You know what?
They might put you in the Celtics Hall of Fame if you were to convince LeBron James to go there.
I don't know.
If you're making a pitch to LeBron right now, what are you saying?
I'm not, I'm not sure.
I'm not sure they want to do that.
Ooh, you're too good for LeBron.
I think they want to beat LeBron like old school style.
Interesting.
I think Danny Ainge's whole life has been about beating LeBron.
Think about it.
Since he got to Boston, LeBron has, you know, pseudo been in the league.
How do you, how do you overtake this guy?
Right.
So he did it once, right?
With the 808, 10 team.
Now he's trying to do it again.
Now LeBron might leave the conference, but he doesn't want LeBron to join.
He wants to beat him.
What do you think?
I, there's been a lot of rumblings.
You know, you heard it with Kyrie.
I think I can't remember who, who came out with it during the playoffs.
But guys saying that it's hard to play with LeBron.
Do you think that that's who said that?
Cause I like to know, I think it'd be easy for me.
So I can't, who, who did say that during the playoffs?
Someone said it like during they've got to be a ball dominant player.
No, no, no, I don't think it was.
It was basically the premises when you're on LeBron's team.
If the, like every game is the biggest game in the world.
And if the calves lose, it's not LeBron.
No, for sure.
It's always everyone else's.
Yeah.
But that's because like LeBron, the media is his PR firm, right?
You know, and if he says like some dumb ass joke on the podium, it's like behind
him's like applause or laughter.
Oh, you're so funny.
Oh, King James, you're so funny.
But the reality is like, I don't think that real NBA play, well,
maybe some guys believe that these guys are terrible, though, they do have
the highest payroll in the NBA.
And this did want to sign all these guys.
So it's paid $20 million.
Yeah, sure.
But like Utah's a good team and they offer Georgia 80 million.
How good do you have to be to turn down 80 million?
Right.
You got to be pretty good, but he goes there and he's terrible because it's
like not the way he's used to playing.
So it's just, I mean, I think with the bronze teams,
it has to be guys like Clyde Leonard and it has to be guys like Paul George.
Do you know something we don't know?
Oh, are you tampering?
Are you tampering?
Paul Bada George will play off Paul.
Yeah, play off P.
Yeah, I think it has to be guys like that.
Like guys that are like, believe they're on the same level.
And then you could feel the roster out with a bunch of roleplayers.
It don't matter.
Okay.
So if you're making the call, I'm not talking about Danny Ainsher.
I'm talking about, I'm talking about you.
I'm talking about the Scala Weenie.
No, you're talking about Scala Weenie.
Why don't you use the White Mamba?
The White Mamba.
If we're talking about the White Mamba signing the checks.
Well, we already have given that to Grayson Allen.
Sorry.
And LeBron says, yeah, hey, why you preference that?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'll go to Boston.
Of all the people you do, Duke.
Yeah, dude, you see him go to the rack.
He's good.
I like Grayson Allen.
Vet minimum.
Vet minimum for what?
For LeBron.
What are you talking about?
I'm just saying, just play a little game with us.
All right.
We're doing a hypothetical here.
Okay.
Are you signing them or not?
Or do you want to beat them?
Yeah, I'm signing them.
Oh, I thought you wanted to beat them.
Well, for sure.
But you want to beat them, but you have to give up.
That was soft of you.
Hypothetical Danny Ainge.
Oh my gosh.
Like, don't be ridiculous.
Well, I'm just saying, you just a second ago.
But no, I mean, like, if you sign LeBron, you're dictating
the growth of your organization and you're stunting the growth
of Tatum and Brown to sign LeBron.
So are you willing to do that?
Or do you want to beat them?
So do you think he should go to Philly?
Because you think that you could make the same argument
that he'd stump the growth of Ben Simmons and Joel and be.
Yeah, but it's clear that Philly needs them, right?
When you watch the playoffs, Ben Simmons takes that shot
like with 18.
So what would you say to Ben Simmons?
The fact that he just can't shoot a three-pointer?
I don't. It doesn't bother me.
What do you mean? He'll grow into it.
It doesn't bother me that he can't shoot.
He does so many other things.
Well, can he get to the basket and can he pass?
Yeah, but you saw that a team can defend against that
if he won't even shoot Miami.
Well, I know, but Boston has it.
Boston's the number one defensive team in the NBA.
And they have an elite on ball defenders.
Most of the NBA cannot match up with Ben Simmons.
OK, but if you're trying to win a championship,
don't you think he's got to at least shoot a couple of times?
Well, yeah, I would be.
If you're a Boston, you are living with that.
Yeah. And he'll develop a shot.
I mean, you look at Chris Paul.
Chris Paul, when he first came into the league,
they didn't come within 10 feet of him
when he was outside the three-pointer.
I'm not. I'm never worried about that.
If I'm Philly, nor am I worried.
Like, it's it's it's it's exacerbated
because it's against Boston.
Right. Al Horford.
Like, there's only three guys in the NBA that can do like
it's Al Horford, Draymond Green and LeBron James,
those guys that can defend multiple positions
and challenge guys at the rim to have length.
Like, most of the guys can't do that.
Did Kevin Durant ruin the NBA?
I think he made the NBA better.
Oh, because he set the standard
for what a championship team would be like.
You're trying to build a team.
You're building a team based right now on the Golden State Warriors.
OK, you got to work on your hot tastes
because the answer is, yeah, he ruined the NBA.
No way. No way. Yeah.
Like the new championship level
is what we're seeing with the Warriors.
No, I mean, I agree.
I'm just saying, like, you got to you got to fix that.
You're going to step up the takes a little bit.
Yeah. Did you enjoy watching this year's finals?
No. Oh, yeah.
See, there you go.
So he ruined the league.
So he ruined the NBA finals.
Like, I was devastated in one and devastated in three.
And I don't even like LeBron.
It was like the first time ever.
Oh, what don't you like about him?
I just don't like, you know, I like as a player,
he's a brilliant player, but I never knew for LeBron.
Yeah, except for this year in the NBA finals.
What do you think about his pretty much broken wrist?
Oh, how bad was that?
It was pretty much broken.
It was basically broken.
It was almost all the way broken.
Then he got all the handshakes.
Yeah, I like this.
I like this.
Why is it that our game's greatest player, the beast?
I'm a football player.
How come he wore the cast?
I would he do that.
Because he was, it was basically broken.
Come on, pretty much broke.
By the way, I like what you did there.
Our game. Can we say our game?
Of our game, yeah.
Like, can I say our game?
Well, you played in the NBA, but like, I, you know,
I obviously didn't.
So, but can I say like, our game's best player?
Our generations.
Or our game.
Our game.
We're custodians of the game.
Yeah, like, did I say, I thought it our generation's best player?
No, you said our game's best player.
But I like it.
Can I say that?
No, so when I meant, that's a reference to our generation.
Got it.
Because it's not, it's not like 10 years ago, 20 years ago.
It's our games.
All of us are in the business.
It's our game.
OK, so it is our game.
Yeah, the NBA belongs to the fans.
Just generations players.
Just generations best player.
If you had, like, the leader of your team ask you,
hey, Scalowini, can you put on this?
Can you, can you wear this suit with shorts to the game?
Because we're doing this for all the playoff games.
Are you putting that suit on?
Good question.
Really?
You don't have a problem with making the team play dress up?
If everyone else is doing it?
Well, it's LeBron asking.
Yeah.
And everyone is doing it, or just me?
Well, everyone's kind of looking at it,
and they're like, are we going to do this?
Like, no, I don't say anything until everyone agrees.
What about if LeBron hands you Godfather 2,
and he's like, hey, Scalowini, read this book,
but don't read it faster than me.
And it's going to take me three years to read it.
Do you read it?
Um, not really a clue guy right now.
Yeah, I don't know if I could do that.
Yeah, I don't think you can play with LeBron.
I would forget what happens.
He's chapter over three years.
Yeah, you'd think, right?
I would.
I would think.
I don't think.
I'd have to read.
But he's still reading it.
But what if I kept reading it and never finished it?
Dad actually would count.
Yes.
LeBron does, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, that would count.
You ever read the Godfather?
Not the, no.
You never read the Godfather?
The book?
Yeah, the book.
I didn't even know that existed.
Oh, OK, I like to cut your jib now.
So you actually played in Italy for a while, right?
Just turned the lock out.
Just turned the lock out.
OK, so you weren't a scab in Italy, right?
How many players from the NBA went over
to the Italian league and played?
Not sure.
Is that being a scab?
No, it's not being, it's the opposite of a scab.
I just don't know if you're a scab in Italy,
if they were also on strike.
No, they were not on strike.
OK, did you light it up?
I did well.
OK.
Yeah, I didn't feel like staying maybe
and just being a superstar.
Two things, wife and kids.
And I think I made 10 times the money.
In the NBA.
Yeah.
So by the way, I gave all the money back and $10,000.
Yeah, but no state income tax in Italy.
I made zero, I went to Italy for like three months
and paid them $10,000.
Did you really?
Who's your favorite Italian chef?
Giada de Lorenzis or Gaifieri?
I would say it's probably Giada.
I could choose, yeah.
We know why.
Yeah.
Tasteful, tasteful, clean.
I have a theory.
My shirts, right?
I have a theory and you played, well, you at least
were involved in some of these games.
Christmas Day games.
Which one?
Every single Christmas Day.
I always bet the first three unders
because I assume guys are out of rhythm.
They're playing early in the day.
They've eaten with their family, maybe shoot
arounds a little less.
Do you think that's true?
There's no shoot around.
In the Christmas Day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So do you think that that, like, you think?
Yeah, but don't you think the gamblers know that?
Well, they didn't for a while.
I think they are catching on now.
OK.
But is Christmas Day like very drastically different?
You know what?
The thing is, I think, because it's Christmas Day,
you lose your edge.
So it's just like you go out there and, yeah,
which could lead to a lot of easy buckets.
True.
Fuck.
I don't know that.
I've never thought about that.
What about did you guys, when you were on the bulls,
did you guys discuss 100 points for Big Macs?
Did you know?
Yes.
OK.
Yes.
One time, I had the ball with 99 and the shot clock
and Tibetle ran out.
No, no, don't shoot it.
So the crowd rises to their feet and they start booing me.
So I was like, I had the ball in my hand
and I pointed the tips and I threw him under the bus, man.
Like, it's his fault.
So what I did the next day, I bought 500 Big Macs
to people who brought their tickets to McDonald's.
Yeah, I mean, I feel bad.
You went to a McDonald's?
Just don't.
Here's the money.
I got the Big Macs on the people.
If they bring their tickets, I'll buy 500.
I love that.
I love it.
It's like Canadian that Tim Horton's paying for the next guy,
except for 500.
It's important.
Thank you for your service.
What's, who's the best trash talker that you played with?
Pearson Garnett, by far.
Yeah, what kind of like, what would they go for?
Well, I mean, Kevin Garnett, we know,
some pretty fucked up things.
But the funniest one was when Noah was talking to Garnett,
hey, yo, you work out with Joe and Garnett's like,
looks at Noah.
And Noah's like, had the posters on the wall
and everyone's favorite, Garnett's their favorite player.
Garnett goes to Pearson.
Yo, P, why is this man talking to me?
Who is this guy?
And he looks around and looks on the back of his jersey.
Who's this Noah?
I was like, he did win back to back national champions.
Yeah, he's kind of well known.
What was Paul Pierce like?
I feel like Paul Pierce isn't known
as one of the best trash talkers.
No, he's ruthless.
On the practice court, he's ruthless.
Really?
Yeah.
Would he get at you on the practice court?
Yeah, yeah.
His whole thing was Tony Allen.
He loved going at Tony Allen.
It was like, I would guard him and it'd be like, whatever.
But when Tony Allen was guarding him,
he was like, his eyes would light up
and he'd want to cook Tony Allen.
Okay.
Go ahead.
I was just gonna say, so I've read that
the most influential player in your career was Jason Kidd.
Well, you think that's fair to say still?
He is, for me, obviously changed my entire life.
He made me way better than I was
and got me, like I signed a five year deal after playing,
like I started 30 games that year.
Jason Kidd made me way better than I was.
So therefore I got paid.
In the NBA, if you're like average five points
versus average three points,
it's a difference of like six, seven million bucks.
Yeah, yeah.
So financially he affected my life.
He was a really close friend of mine
when we were on the same team.
The hardest thing, going to tell him
that I was leaving to go to Boston, that was tough for him.
Yeah, but.
He missed you?
Did you guys keep in touch after that?
Yeah, yeah, still to this day.
That's awesome.
Why do you think he didn't really pan out so well
as a head coach?
Was it the situation up in Milwaukee?
I thought he did a really good job there.
I mean, so far from where they were
to where they're at right now,
he brought these guys along.
When he took over, they won 12 games.
So like, what is a really good coach?
Like, do you want improvement?
Does anybody believe that Milwaukee,
that last season, this past season,
should have been better than what they were?
Yeah, I think a lot of people did.
And they're better than who?
Well, I just think they under,
people thought they under.
So what should have they been?
I think anytime you get like a transcendent player
like Giannis on our team,
the expectations, they increase a little bit too much.
So if you have a coach and you're not able to turn
a star like that into, you know,
take it at least into the Eastern Conference finals,
it's gonna be a very short leash for you.
So I agree, he might have had, you know,
a little bit of a short leash on that.
But I, you know, there were a lot of people
that said that he wasn't really, you know,
taking the bucks to where they needed to go.
Interesting.
I just, I felt like where they're at.
I mean, in the Eastern Conference,
they could have won three more games and been a fifth seed.
And now they lose three games or an eighth seed.
It's that close.
So, I mean, are they better than Miami?
Well, he also had, you know,
a dog chomping at the bit right behind him and Joe Prunty.
Yeah.
That's the coach of the year in the making.
Yeah.
You know, the seat gets on pretty quick
when Joe Prunty's sitting next to you.
Joe Prunty's legit.
Oh man.
Don't just sleep on Joe Prunty.
You guys are great.
I think it's, I think it's all interesting
because Brent Brown also was a guy that, you know,
like his job was unaligned and they won 19 games in a row.
So in the NBA, the margin for error for coaches
is very small.
I'm always just fascinated by that by a superstar player
trying to switch over to become a coach, you know,
sometimes the skill sets don't exactly align.
I didn't know if that was necessarily the case
for Jason Kidd, but I thought it might be.
Well, I think, don't you think that, like,
here's another one the media loves
when a coach is also a GM and they say,
you can't do this job.
LeBron.
That's a good one, right?
Yeah.
Stan Van Gundy, Doc Rivers, right?
Yep.
But you know, like GMs suck too, right?
That are just GMs.
Right.
So when they, they only point to the fact that,
oh, these coaches can't do both.
You can't do both.
Maybe you can't.
Maybe it's too hard to do both.
No question.
But I think that those moves are scrutinized more.
Every move that Stan Van Gundy, good or bad,
it scrutinized more because he's trying to do dual roles.
Right.
But you know, like, look at, like Orlando,
they weren't trying to do dual roles
and they traded all the depot.
Right.
They gave up on him and picked Alfred Payton.
So like, GMs also make bad decisions too.
True.
Even if they're not coaches.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, it's tough when you,
for Doc, when you play your son a bunch and he sucks.
So.
He doesn't suck.
No.
He thinks he, Austin Rivers thinks he's like
the greatest player in the world.
Every NBA player thinks he's the greatest player in the world.
Yeah.
But the ones that actually can like tone it down a little.
That's the perfect example of what I'm talking about.
Like you pointed that because it's his son.
He's better than a lot of other people that play.
A lot of other.
Yeah, maybe.
Yeah, that's true.
So we like, we scrutinize that because it's father's son.
Well, I think not just coach player.
Well, it's probably tough though for the other players.
Don't you think?
Why?
Because they're like, oh,
he's giving them playing time.
I mean, right or wrong,
the other players are probably think he's giving them
playing time because he's son.
That's an excuse mentality.
Okay.
Like that's like,
that's the idea of trying to like control things
that are out of your control.
Yeah.
Just do your job.
Don't bullshit yourself.
Yeah.
Did you ever talk to Ray on about the time that he texted
his, the DM, the tweet?
Did you ever talk to him about that?
Do you want to read it out loud?
I can read it out loud for you real quick.
Sure.
Forget what it says.
But I did talk to Ray when he released his book
and all that.
I read his book.
It was interesting.
It seemed like it was like a tell all book.
It wasn't a tell all.
It was like,
it was like all the things I went through
from my perspective.
I can do no wrong.
Everyone can do wrong.
That's what it came across as.
But it was actually not as bad as what,
what are they called the excerpts?
Yeah.
The blurbs.
Was it as bad as this?
Yeah.
I'm getting there when you masturbate,
think about my tongue or your clit
and switching back and forth from my dick to my tongue.
You ever talked to him about that?
No.
He tweeted that.
Okay. Yeah.
He tweeted that by accident.
You mean it should have been a DM?
I don't know.
DM or text.
I don't know what happened.
Definitely not a tweet.
Have you guys ever messed up like that?
Like thought it was a DM, but.
When you masturbate, think about my tongue or your clit
and switching back and forth from my dick to my tongue.
So I don't have.
I don't think so.
I don't think I've done that one.
We don't, we don't have any women that want to sex us.
So it's tough to make that mistake.
You never sexed anybody?
No.
On the DM or?
I don't know what sexting is.
Is that when the switchback move is like,
that seems like too much for it.
Is that where you turn your phone on vibrate
and hold it on your crotch for a while?
Yeah.
I would just assume that, even if it's your level,
whatever your level, I would assume
that everyone has done that.
Bloggers?
Yeah.
I mean, there's a considerable amount of tang
out there for bloggers.
I just realized now that I'm reading this
for the 7,000th time, Ray Allen actually in sext form
is sucking his own dick.
Cause he's switching back from my dick to my tongue,
back and forth.
No, he's just busy.
Yeah.
He's just doing like crunches.
Like lean in with the hips, then down with the mouth.
All right.
Let's do, oh, have you ever done,
have you ever tried to hustle guys in the court?
White man can jump style?
I would do that.
Oh, like often, often.
You just show up and be like, you're too tall though.
Too big, too tall.
Yeah, you give it away.
I would know something's up if you showed up.
Yeah.
But like shoot, you know, like miss a couple of shots
and warm up and then just start dunking on people.
He's still dunking?
Yeah, okay.
Good.
No, but I don't think I can get away with that.
I can go to any park and there's gonna be,
if there's basketball being played,
like someone's gonna know who I am.
Right.
Do you think I could box you out?
Yeah.
Okay, good.
Good answer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You think I could cross you up?
You don't want this.
Cross, like you, you don't want me boxing you out.
Cross me.
Yeah, like you or him.
Me, you think I could cross you up?
And make me fall?
Yeah.
No.
Stick your ass down.
Yeah, I don't know if I could fall.
You can't cross him up.
Come on, you're crazy, man.
Yeah, like I'm not gonna fall, but I mean.
I get you leaning.
You can score on me.
I hit you with a hezzy.
Ooh.
You know what the hezzy is?
Yeah, yeah.
If I said like this, if you hit me with a hezzy jimbo,
what is that?
Hezzy jimbo, you're hezzy and then you hit with a J.
There you go.
Come on.
All right.
Can you do your step?
I can do your step.
Can you do your step?
I can do your step.
I don't think you can do your step.
One on zero.
Ooh.
Okay.
Yeah.
I could do it.
Do you want to plug the big three?
Sure.
Yeah.
Let's talk about it.
Let's do it.
So, Friday.
And it's live.
So, we got live mics.
So what is the line I should use?
What's the line?
The Ray Allen line?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
So, if I was like,
if I was, I have a live mic and I was like,
yo, I'd love to switch back and forth.
From my dick to my tongue.
Yeah.
All right.
So, maybe I'll, maybe I'll live like that.
Yeah.
You hear a Ray said?
What?
So, are you, are you coaching?
GM.
Okay.
Player captain.
For the ball hogs.
And who's on team?
So, you know, my coach is Rick Berry.
Ooh.
Shout out to Rick Berry last year.
I got fouled and I did an underhand free throw.
Pimp grip is what we call it.
Pimp grip.
Yeah.
He taught me how to do it.
I missed.
He was disappointed.
Last year, Andre Owens was a big player in the big three.
I took him as my number one pick.
Okay.
I took like hard nose tough dudes.
And it's really unique for me because like,
I'm a role player on the big three.
Just like if I was playing pick up whatever,
always be a role player.
But with, I don't, I need to draft my best player,
which everyone else, the captains are the best player.
Right.
So, I'm looking for a guy who can really do work.
So, Andre Owens, Deshaun Stevenson.
Yep.
The LeBron Stopper.
Oh yeah.
2011.
Oh yeah.
Tim LeBron Stopper.
Yeah.
So, we'll market that out there.
Josh Childress.
Okay.
Big guy named Corsley Edwards.
Cause you gotta have to,
like Reggie Evans is in the league.
Kwame Brown's in the league.
You gotta have some size.
And so, and then Jermaine Taylor is like our alternate guy.
So, we're ready to go.
If you ever play against Kwame Brown,
could you just like have Michael Jordan show up in the stands
and like just beat him that way?
Just like almost like that Godfather scene.
When his brother comes from Italy
and sits in the four row.
He never read it.
No, but uh.
Like just the side of Michael Jordan.
I gotta watch what I say.
Just comes a puddle.
Because I don't think it's like that.
I gotta watch what I say
because I do have to go against him this year.
Ooh.
So, you should do that.
You should just be like.
So, let me get this straight.
Yeah.
Call up MJ.
Yep.
Ask him to come out.
Yep.
To the time that I have to play the three headed monster,
which is their team.
Yep.
And say, oh MJ, I need you to come out for this game.
Yeah, just sit on, sit like front row.
Yeah, maybe smoke a cigar.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right.
Put your good earrings in.
Yeah.
Doesn't he just wear one?
The hoop earrings.
I think he's got a couple.
He's got one.
Yeah, it's nice.
No, I'm saying just one ear.
Is that what it is?
I'll text MJ.
Okay.
Or just have somebody show up with a cake
and then Kwame Brown wanted to steal it and eat all of it.
Yeah.
Remember that happened.
Interesting.
But I will say the games this year are gonna be live.
It's gonna be on Fox, FS1.
Love it.
Facebook Live should be good.
You guys into three on three?
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
I look best one anytime.
Three on three.
That's machine bloggers, we're into anything.
Yeah.
Three on three is better than five on five?
Mmm.
For you?
Yeah, less running.
Yeah, for sure.
I mean, I don't run much on five on five.
How can you not?
It's full court.
Right, I know, but I do the thing where it's like,
if my team goes on a fast break,
I'll stay back and like that whole thing.
What if another team.
Like hold the guy I'm guarding shirt, that kind of stuff.
I got tricks to not run much on five on five.
Yeah.
Three on three you'll like.
Yeah.
That's my game, I guess.
All right, I got one last question.
It's a Seeky question.
Put in promo code take.
You get $10 off your Seeky purchase.
If you want to go see the big three live.
If you can go to Seeky?
Yeah, you can go to Seeky.
I assume, right?
You can go see Seagames live.
Where's the first games?
Houston.
Houston.
Hanks give me a look, but I'm pretty sure you can do Seeky.
$10 off course.
Go see Scalweeney live.
Why are you guys sticking with that?
Because trying to get in your head.
Listen, listen, you showed us a sign of weakness.
When Big Cat first said, no one's ever called me.
That's in sixth grade.
We're trying to be better of course.
We zero in on that.
Interesting.
All right, so my question to you is.
This is a Seeky question?
Yes, Seeky question.
Seeky.
Respect.
Question, yeah.
You like that?
I actually do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You still have to pay us for the whole thing.
But we'll take $10 off your admission fee.
Yes, there we go.
Seeky promo code take.
The NBA draft is Thursday night.
This is going to air on Friday.
What would be your number one piece of advice
for the guys who get drafted?
Don't think you made it.
OK.
So just I think the average, after four and a half years,
only 12 guys on average remain in it from that draft.
60 people are picked.
Only 12 guys from that class are still in the NBA.
Four and a half years later.
And what about number two piece of advice?
Number two piece of advice?
Always remember when you're sending a text or a tweet.
Yeah, yeah.
Make sure you don't.
If you're going to slide into the DM, make sure you're safe.
Double check that you're in there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I would say I always tell rookies this all the time.
And it's funny.
It's the opposite of what a financial advisor would say.
They would say, invest all your money.
My advice to them would be invest as much money
into yourself, your body, your food,
focus on becoming a better player.
Because there's nothing in the world
that's going to be a better return on your investment
than making yourself a better player.
That's good.
That's second concept.
You can look around.
There's no question.
The second contract worth $100 million, $50 million,
whatever it may be, your money should be full.
And if you spend all your money on yourself
and you don't make it, so be it.
But that's your best way.
And it's no different than people starting out in business
and investing all their money into their business
to try to make it.
I tell kids all the time, do whatever you have to do,
become the best basketball player you can.
Because if you're 2% better, it's a difference.
Whether you're good to grade or great to Hall of Famer
or out of the league to end of the league,
it makes a difference.
Swyla Brown does HGH.
Yeah, true.
Or whatever he does.
He invests a lot of money into his body.
He actually injects it directly in.
Whatever he's doing, it's absolutely working,
and he should continue to do it.
Brian Scowell-Wini, thank you so much.
Do you have any questions for us?
Where are you guys at with Kauai Leonard?
Do you think it's risky or not?
In what way?
Do you think it would be risky for the Cavs to sign Kauai?
Is that what you're asking?
Let's say Boston, for instance.
Give up really good players for Kauai Leonard.
If he would stay, I think Kauai Leonard
is the top five player in the NBA.
So you can't pass on it.
That's why you traded for Kyrie?
I think there was something in particular that
happened to him in San Antonio that probably won't happen
to him anywhere else that he goes.
No one knows what it is, but there
was something with that injury recovery that, I guess,
just set him back this year.
But if he was in Boston, hell yeah.
Shipped some assets, yes.
It's very interesting that the NBA came out
with a designated player exception,
where you can get the super max contract.
So far, no player has turned that down.
Why Leonard would be the first?
If he did ask for a trade, he would be the first player.
I think it's all about him and Pop playing cards.
Kauai is a different guy.
He lived in an apartment until two years ago.
He doesn't care about 50.
219, come on.
I don't think he cares about that much money.
Well, I really don't.
I really don't.
I really don't.
And also, the reports about the shoe contract
means he probably does care about it.
He cares about respect, and there's
no bigger respect than getting that super max, right?
I mean, I would think so.
219 million.
I mean, that's a spicy meatball.
I would absolutely take it.
But something about Kauai, like I said,
he lived in an apartment two years ago.
He probably drives a Honda Civic.
No, he drives like the Tahoe.
The same Tahoe we had in college.
Yeah, so what is he going to spend an extra $30 million on?
You can always find ways to spend $30 million.
I can't believe he didn't beat Duke that year.
They're better than us.
But Duke losing in the March Madness
is like the best moment of the year.
I just thought of that off the top of my head.
No, they had five NBA players.
Yeah, OK.
So you're an NBA player?
Or were it?
No, they were good, man.
They were good.
That sounds like loser talk excuses.
Big three this Friday.
Big three.
Check it out, Brian Scowweeney.
Thank you very much.
I'm not doing this podcast anymore.
That interview was brought to you by Burst.
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I tried to do the fast voice at the end
that you heard, Carl Kimberle.
It was good.
You nailed it.
All right, let's get to some segments.
First up, we have a bad visual.
So PFT, you read this article.
What happened?
Real bad visual.
So Korea, they preserved Mexico's chances in the World Cup
by winning against Germany and knocking Zegermans out.
Zegermans.
Zegermans.
And so Mexico decided to show their gratitude towards Korea.
On Telemundo, several other anchors
made the slanted eye gesture with their fingers.
OK.
And so they're all in trouble for that.
They're being disciplined.
Can I spin on this?
Well, yeah, preface it by saying as a white guy.
As a white guy, I'd like to spin on this.
If you told me it would take us all the way
till the end of group stage to have the first, hey,
that's racist story from the World Cup,
I'd be like, that's a pretty good job, guys,
because you knew it's coming.
It was definitely going to come.
People can't help themselves when every country comes together.
And they do really stupid things like this.
Yeah.
Another spin zone, as a white guy, here in America,
we obviously have our own messes to clean up
that we've done a pretty bad job of historically.
But it's nice to see other countries can be racist, too.
Yeah.
It's nice to be like, hey, it's not just us.
Mm-hmm.
You know what?
The good news is, for all this racial healing
we need to do around the world, I got some breaking moose.
There is the MLB opens their season next year in Japan.
Marlin's man has decided he's going.
OK, so there we go.
Racism squashed.
And he also said it this way when
he was talking to a Japanese person on Twitter.
He said, I want to go to Japan next March
when MLB opens season there.
How get tickets?
So racism squashed.
Congrats to Marlin's man.
He is the right quote.
How Marlin's man is not like a diplomat or an ambassador yet
is just beyond me.
He's like hands across America, except just
Marlin's man goes to Japan.
I would watch a travel show with Marlin's man.
Yes, I would too.
Just visiting different cultures.
Other people just asking for pictures.
Yeah, he goes to Nigeria and he's like, no,
I sit behind home plate.
I fly to different games.
And I buy tickets for $5,000 a piece.
And then I'm on TV.
Raising awareness for troops.
They say love is the universal language.
I actually think it is a garish looking orange Marlin jersey.
Careful with garish.
Why?
Because do you know what garish means?
Yeah, ugly.
Yeah, it's a negative thing.
Yeah.
Marlin's man only does positive things.
That's true.
My bad.
You know what else is a garish orange?
Traffic cones.
If we didn't have those.
True.
Millions would die on the roads.
Yes.
So it just means be careful.
You know what else is a garish orange?
Syracuse orange.
And if we didn't have that, we wouldn't remember
that the zone can beat anyone in March.
I was going to say we wouldn't have great journalists.
Right.
Yeah, that too.
Or booger eaters.
Yeah.
Jim Bayhine.
All right.
We have a Tim Tebow update.
What's up with Tim Tebow?
So I read an article on the big lead.
As you guys know, we've long been advocates of like, come on,
Mets, just bring Tebow up this year.
You're not going to do anything else.
So they wrote an article basically saying the same thing.
Just call him up already.
And he has hit, listen to these stats, he's hit 737 OPS.
That's pretty good.
And he's at like 330.
I think he's 330 for on base percentage.
So I have an elegant solution to this.
OK.
Tebow Tuesdays.
I like it.
With the Mets.
Whenever you talk about Tim Tebow,
you have to use a word that starts with the letter T.
It's Tebow Time.
Tebow Time Tuesdays.
What if he's good, and then we just
go Tebow Tuesdays right into Worship Wednesdays.
Worship Wednesdays.
I like that's very good.
And then you're on Tebow Thursdays.
We just keep going.
Tebow Thursdays.
Tebow Thursdays.
For only people from Barcelona.
Yeah.
And then Florida Gator Fridays.
And then, damn, Tim Tebow looks sexy.
And remember that one picture he took when he was swinging?
Swimsuit Saturdays.
Swimsuit Saturdays.
That rolls a little bit better.
And then we'll just take Monday off.
Sexless Sundays.
Yes.
And then masturbation Mondays.
Yes, masturbation Mondays again.
Comma, not.
No, you're allowed.
I think Tebow jacks off.
Oh, he does?
Embrace debate.
I think he does.
He's a virgin, right?
I guess so.
I thought that was, I don't know.
I have no idea.
I don't know how that works.
Well, he had trouble.
I thought that was why he got so strong,
because he just never jerked off.
I'll tell you what, Tebow's got forearms that could break.
If he shoved his forearm down a lion's throat,
he could suffocate it.
Yeah, if he jerked off, his penis
could sue his forearms for assault and battery.
That's true.
Yeah.
All right, we have, right before we get to Jimbo's.
Make sure to make a quote card out of that one.
Yeah, right before we get to Jimbo's,
we have a new segment.
It's called Should I Race Revelle?
No.
Darren Revelle has challenged me to a marathon.
It is the dumbest challenge ever.
It is the most Darren Revelle challenge ever,
because it's the one sport that really just
requires you being bored for a long amount of time.
A boring person who is bored.
Yes, a boring person who is bored could six,
no offense, Deslyn, and recurring guests of the show.
But she even admitted that running was boring.
So Darren is like, I have so much free time
that I will be able to beat you in this.
Yeah, I have so many thoughts of brands
that I can run through my head and pass the time
for five hours, whatever it would take to run a marathon.
That's got to be the dumbest challenge ever.
There's nothing.
You could tell me that, you know how when you're growing up,
it's like, oh, I double-dog dare you, like, fuck,
I got to do it, because it's double-dog dare.
You could triple-dog, quadruple-dog, infinity-dog dare me
to run a marathon, and I'll just sit there and be like, no.
Because it looks awful.
Yeah, I don't think that there is any distance
that you should race Revelle in.
Like, even if it was a 50-yard dash.
Well, no.
So he said to me a couple months ago
that he will race me in a mile anytime, anywhere.
So I'm just going to, most likely,
just wait until he's like 90 years old and challenge him.
That's pretty good.
Wait until he's dead.
Show up to his, how fucking power move with that?
If I show up to his funeral, I'm like, hey,
I'm ready for that race.
And then like, oh, guess you can't fucking compete.
You're dead.
That's also the most sixth grade challenge of all time.
I will race you anytime, anywhere.
Let's bring back races.
Jesus Christ.
Hey, Revelle, you're such a pussy.
You won't come on this podcast.
How about we start there?
How about we start there,
and then we'll start talking about marathon races?
We can't even get you in the podcast,
and you won't do, and you want me to do a marathon?
I don't even want to drive 26 miles.
No.
That's boring.
No, terrible.
Too many miles.
Yeah, human.
Actually, I love driving.
I love the people that get the stickers,
like the I drove up Mount Washington.
Yeah.
Like it's like a accomplishment.
That's actually legit though.
Because your ears pop.
That fucking sucks.
If you can't get your ears done popping.
And if you have a bag of chips,
they get all the air in them.
Also, it's windy at the top.
Yeah.
Is that true?
Yeah.
At the chips?
Yeah.
That's true too.
No, the chips, yeah.
If you have a bag of chips,
and you go up on altitude,
the bag will just expand.
That's why it could pop.
I don't know, chips explode on planes.
Because they air pressurized.
But that's also like, it does affect your body.
Cars pressurized.
When you're on a plane.
No, cars are not pressurized.
When you're on a plane,
you know you have to fart a little bit?
Yes.
Yeah, that's because of the air pressure.
Because you're up so high.
Yeah.
So you have to fart it.
If you don't fart on a plane, you die.
Yeah, exactly.
All right.
Should we finish with Jimbo's?
Yeah.
Let's do some jabers.
These were 4th of July themes.
So I'm guessing you guys are gonna be able to predict
what a lot of these have to do with.
Fireworks.
Last 4th of July,
my friends and I were piss drunk,
setting off fireworks.
And I proceeded to light a Roman candle
and forgot which way it came out.
So I freaked out and just threw it on the ground.
I proceeded to shoot heat seekers of my buddy
who probably got hit in the head
and had to go to the hospital
for getting a piece of his arm taken out.
Okay, so you're just basically a kid in America
because everyone's done that.
If you don't have a Roman candle accident,
you didn't have a childhood.
I went to a Mexican restaurant the night of the 3rd.
Just shooting at each other is like the best.
Yes.
Don't do that.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Felt like you were in a video game.
Don't do it.
And woke up on the 4th,
puked my brains out from food poisoning.
I stayed home all morning,
hadn't puked in an hour or so,
so I figured it was over.
I went to a pool party later and puked in the pool.
Yeah.
That's bad.
What's your immediate reaction if you puke in pool?
Run.
You just gotta move.
You gotta move.
Run.
You just gotta go to Mexico.
Yeah, how do you clean a puked pool?
You can't.
Oh, man.
You absolutely can't.
Have you ever noticed on the signs for a pool,
it always says like if you have had diarrhea
within the last like two weeks.
Yeah, it's pregnant and diarrhea.
Yeah, don't come to a pool.
It's like, I can't remember the last time in my life
I was ever two weeks away from having had diarrhea.
Yeah, exactly.
So I'll never swim again.
Actually, kinda nice.
I don't have to get in shape to take off my shirt.
Diarrhea.
That's just like, hey, why aren't you taking off your shirt?
Diarrhea.
I had diarrhea on Monday, bro.
I told you.
Drunk ate a platter of warm shrimp cocktail.
I spent the afternoon trapped in a boat with food poisoning,
no choice but to chum the water every 20 minutes.
Dude, the minute you like,
if you see shrimp out and it's warm,
make better life choices.
That's terrible.
You can't do the warm shrimp.
Yeah.
Agreed.
I got so wasted at my friend's bachelor party
all the way down in Florida that I accidentally showered
in a family's condo when I thought it was our hotel room.
I ended up running south Florida naked in a towel,
ended up getting maced, stun gunned,
and spent the next three days in county jail.
Don't make the joke you're gonna make about the hotel room.
I'm not gonna make it.
Don't do it.
I'm not gonna make it.
But it happens to a lot of people.
Some people, it happens to.
It's not a big deal.
Good luck with your screenplay.
That's it.
Learn with that.
Oh man, all right, that's our show.
Just a reminder, Monday,
you got a ton of new content coming
with Taffer, Mike Portnoy, Andy Buckley, Chris Long,
and then on Thursday, special Thursday edition,
we got football in July with new content,
old content all in there.
So download half of it, listen to it,
delete it, then re-download it.
Do your part, and we will see you all
the Monday after the Fourth of July.
Everyone be safe.
We love you guys.
We love you guys.
I love you guys.
I love you guys.
I personally.
We all love you guys.
I love you more.
You gotta say love you guys before a big weekend like this
because then they might get hurt.
I'm in love with you guys.
I am in love with you guys.
Oh wow.
I'm not gonna go that far.
Yeah, well I did.
I'd like to fuck you guys.
I love football on TV, shots of Jimmy, hanging with my friends.
Ha ha ha ha.
And twins.
Don't give me a word.
I don't love what I'm about to say.
I'll say it anyway.
Today is my day to fuck.
Hey.
And twins.
I'm gonna put you on the hook.
No.
No.
No.
And I love you too.
Drink on me.
Drink on me.
Drink on me.
Drink on me.
Drink on me.
And oh yeah twins.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you too.
I need less to say.
I want to say it.
But I'll be some little way.
Some little and I might be okay.
Say after me.
And twins.
Drink on me.
Drink on me.
Drink on me.
I'm gonna put you on the hook.
No.
No.
No.
Yeah.
I love you too.
Yeah.
I love you too.
It's a lost.
It's part of my tape.
Presented by Barstool Sports.