Pardon My Take - Bubba Watson, The Braves Win The WS, CFP Rankings & Uncle Chaps Roasts Us

Episode Date: November 3, 2021

The Atlanta Braves are your World Series Champions. We knew they were going to win we started recording in the 6th inning and give the City of Atlanta their flowers. MNF and NFL trade deadline. We talk about the CFP rankings and Cincinnati getting screwed(00:02:21-00:36:57).  Hot Seat/Cool Throne including a monkey fiasco in texas(00:36:57-00:59:00). 2 Time Masters champ Bubba Watson joins us in studio to talk about his new book "Up & Down", winning the Masters twice, whether he deserves the nickname Bubba, and his Georgia Bulldogs(00:59:00-01:29:48). Uncle Chaps joins us to catch up and do some roasts(01:29:48-01:58:07).You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have Master's Champion, Bubba Watson, two-time Master's Champion, Bubba Watson in studio. His new book is out. We also have our very good friend, Uncle Chaps on roasts slash just catching up with him.

Very, very funny. It's just to be had. We talk World Series. The Braves did it. We talk Monday Night Football, NFL Trade Deadline, college football rankings. They are here. And then we have Hot Seat Cool Throne, a packed Wednesday show. Lots to get to and brought to you by our friends at Chevy.

Chevy, the strongest, most advanced Silverado ever is out. If you're an AWL, you know that Chevy Silverado is the strongest, most advanced Silverado ever. Guys, we know this is 100% true. Chevy Silverado is the best truck ever. There's also a new six, a multi-flex tailgate with six convenient configurations. They'll give you a setup on your tailgate game. There's the primary tailgate, which opens with a push of a button on the key fob or

from inside the truck. The inner gate folds to a large step for easily getting in and out of the bed. There's an easy access configuration where the inner gate folds down, allowing you to reach farther into the bed and it can also become a desk or a surface for your tailgating meal. Chevy Silverado, it's a football guy's truck. It is a truck guy's truck. It is the strongest, most advanced Silverado ever.

Chevy Silverado, go and whisper a pardon my take into a Chevy Silverado dealership's ear into a salesperson ear and they will give you $100 off, free cup of coffee and a free tank of gas. That's the pardon my take difference, Chevy Silverado, the strongest Silverado ever. Okay, let's go. Welcome to part of my take presented by the Chevy Silverado, the strongest, most advanced Silverado ever. Today is Wednesday, November 3rd and the Atlanta Braves are your World Series champions.

Congratulations to the entire city. No, I'm not doing it. You're singing it. You're singing it. Okay. It is a truck. Whoa. No motion.

Full disclosure for everyone listening right now, full disclosure for everyone listening right now. It is actually still in the top of the sixth. But congratulations. Zero validity. He did a halfway chop? No. I saw the hand come up.

I didn't know what was going on. He's doing sideways chops. Oh, wow. I didn't know. You know what though? The moment took you away because the Braves are the World Series champions. And not just congratulations to the Braves, congratulations to the entire city of Atlanta and everybody in Georgia.

The drought is over. You guys have suffered through probably more heartbreak than any other fan base. If you're a Falcons fan, if you're a Braves fan, if you're a University of Georgia fan, it's been tough for the last 25 years on you guys. And tonight was about overcoming obstacles in life. Congratulations. You've done it. Give yourselves a big pat on the back.

Again, it's still the top of the sixth. But that's okay because we're proving to the people, actually it's mid-six now, Astro's going to bat. We're proving that jinxes aren't real. You proved it by winning the World Series. We proved it by starting this show in the sixth inning. Well, really we started this show like two weeks ago, congratulations to the Braves one. Which again proves jinxes aren't real.

But yes, Atlanta, you deserve this. We oftentimes talk about the cursed sports cities. It's like Atlanta and Minnesota. Are you still laughing about Jake's chop? Well, that and I just like, I just, I want the Astros to come back so. No, no. Bad Hank. Not going to happen.

Bad Hank. No. Bad. No. No. Okay. Don't do that. Okay.

But yeah, no, seriously, that's awesome for Atlanta. They deserve this. It has been a long time coming, 28-3 happened. Every Georgia football season happened. The Hawks are franchise still. You lost the Thrasher's. No one brings up the fact they lost the Thrasher's. No, they don't.

They didn't really care. Well, yeah. Well, yeah, that's a bad day to bring that up. Yeah. Put that together. He did score 50 goals. Also, on the field, the homerun that Soler hit over the train tracks. If you're the Houston Astros, you have to blow up that train station.

You have to blow up those tracks because there have been so many iconic homeruns that have found their way onto or through those train tracks in the history of your franchise in the biggest possible moments that you've had. You got to blow that fucking thing up. You can't bring the hill back, bring the flagpole and center field back, get rid of the fucking train. When Jorge Soler hit that homerun and that pimp job he did, verbal meme, I was the guy with the happy face crying behind it and the happy face was saying Wade Davis was really

sick that one year for the Cubs because Jorge Soler, when he hits a homerun, it's got bad intentions. And guess what? There's one other thing, a bonus thing for Braves fans who, again, I'm very, very happy for Braves fans who listen to this show, for Atlanta sports fans. This is your moment. You lead. Pardon my take.

Again, you're not actually World Series champions yet, but you are. You are on this show. They can never take this recording away. Guess what? A little, little even extra cherry on top. The Braves already have one free agency. How's that? Ronald DeCunha will be back next year.

That's right. Greatest free agent signing you can have. Absolutely. They did that on the pile. Well, what about this big cat? Do you think that the Braves are better without Ronald? Oh, I'm not going to do that. Because they just won the World Series.

Yeah. I don't know. And fuck the Astros, y'all. Yeah. Yeah, y'all, y'all just, y'all just were fixing to lose the World Series. Y'all got your shit pushed in big time, y'all. Yeah. You got, you got dominated game six.

You didn't even get to a game seven. You know what the key behind this game was, big cat? What? Do you remember Flashback 2019 going into game six of that World Series? Yes. The Nationals against the Astros. I believe I gave a key to the game because I learned a new baseball stat that, that post season.

Yep. Do you remember what that was? What was it? Babbit. Babbit. Babbit. Yes. Batting average on balls and play.

Uh-huh. I don't remember this entire post season. There it is. It's time for it to get turned around. He was, I think his Babbit was 280 in the regular season. Yep. In the playoffs, it jumped up to 380. Hell yeah.

Water always finds its level. I knew that the Babbit was going to be in play, put a heavy bet on Max Fried on the hotland of Braves and guess what? It worked out because Babbit don't lie. It worked out and credit to us. I think everyone on this podcast, do we all have Braves in six? I'm pretty sure we did. I don't remember exactly how many games I said.

I had Braves in five. Oh, okay. So you were wrong. I did Braves. Clean sweep. Braves. Clean sweep. All right.

I had Braves in six. I know I did. I think Hank did as well. Also the Braves. Shout out to Braves. I mean, all year it was talk about the Giants. It was talking about the Dodgers, rightfully so. You know, the Cardinals had a crazy run at the end of the year.

The Astro like all these teams, Braves had 88 wins. They had 88 wins. They were in a, uh, the worst division in baseball and NLEs. It doesn't matter. It's how you play. Once you get into the playoffs and they were the best team in the playoffs from start to finish and they deserved. Now Hank, do you think that if the Red Sox had gotten into the World Series, they would

have beaten the Braves? Absolutely. Uh, congratulations to Boston Red Sox 2021 World Series Champions. I was going to say that also the fact that their pitcher starting pitcher got his ankle stepped on in the first inning, like that's worst case scenario, Ace, best pitcher on your team currently. Well, their Ace already. Yeah.

Their Ace already broke his fibula. Worst case first inning scenario, cause like a metal spike in your ankle can't feel good and he just has been absolutely shot. So the guy that was running the first base, I forget who it was, but he had rubber, he had. Yeah. Was it correct? Oh yeah.

The rubber spikes, which probably saved the ankle. Saved his life. Maybe saved his life. His life. He could have bled out from that. They would have had to amputate. By the way, because I kept having thinking like the fact that he came back from that is insane.

Yeah. And Walt Weiss didn't even challenge that despite the fact that Correa never touched first base after he stepped on the ankle, which was in front of the base, not on the base. Yes. Leapfrogged over it and then and then freed touch the base with his glove. Yep. That should have been overturned.

The Braves had to get four outs in the first inning. I also have another great thing for the Braves, winning on a Tuesday night is just about as good as it can get. Cause I would imagine it's either going to be a Thursday or a Friday parade. That's what we're saying. Yeah. Both are incredible. You didn't want to win on Sunday night.

Sunday night would have been a major bummer. You get to go out on a Tuesday, which is maybe Tuesday and Wednesday are probably the nights of the week that people go out the least amount on, right? You got the hard days done and now you can essentially just roll through the rest of this week. And it's like, so Thursday or Friday, the parade, it's rare that we have, you know, there's certain times where we have parades, like the calves parade or the cubs parade, like different parades.

We're like, I actually want to watch this parade because it's going to be sick. Like even the bucks this year, you know, the Milwaukee bucks, because they hadn't won in forever. Like this is going to be a parade that I will tune into to watch the city of Atlanta pop off. Although they did win the MLS Cup. That's right. They did.

Yeah. That's a major deal. Who can forget? Atlanta. They broke the real curse. Yeah. No, absolutely not. Atlanta timbers.

Atlanta United. They even throw a parade for soccer teams. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's a major deal. You're an idiot. They kept looking it up. No, they did.

This is a small parade. It was just a series of cars speeding. I don't know. Atlanta FC. It's a bad day to be a water cooler in the city of Atlanta tomorrow. That's going to be, that's going to be a party zone tomorrow morning at the office. Yeah. Victory parade.

Yep. They had one. Yeah. They did. I'm looking at it right now. It was lit. The best moments from Atlanta United's victory parade. Hell yeah.

All right. Yeah. What's number one? Okay. Hold on. Let me find it. When they hoist the cup. Number one.

It's not even, it's not even ranked, but it's, oh, it looks like they had a big drum. Oh, that's cool. Tito Villaba was drumming. And then. Was Ludacris there? Golden spike. The golden spike came out. This parade looked pretty cool.

It was rainy. But yeah. Okay. Despite unreasonably cold December temperatures in Georgia, thousands of fans were clearly determined to celebrate the city's first major sports championship in 23 years. Thousands. That could be up to a million. Yeah.

So they actually broke the curse. Let's just, let's just give Atlanta United, it's just deserve here. They're the ones who popped the cherry on the Atlanta curse. All right. So let's talk some Monday night football. Oh my God. That was the most action play ever. I got to clip that.

Holy shit. All right. I'll get started on Monday night football. Okay. Monday night football. There was a quarterback sneaking. A quarterback throwing in the end zone and Akron fumbled the ball about seven yards forward as they were going into the end zone, which was now the quarterbacks crying.

He's joined by a teammate who's also crying. That was a tough one for, for the zips. It's also a big ricochet shot that their helmets look so much like Notre Dame from afar that you just imagine that this was a Notre Dame play. I feel bad for Akron because they don't really get many wins. Yeah. But Monday night football. Yeah.

I also feel bad for myself because I had the over and that would have hit it. But that's okay. You know, we, we persevere together. Giants were big winners. Yes. Because they covered the spread. They did. Everybody thought that the chiefs were going to come out and do some clown shit as Billy

football put it. And there were some times in that game, the chiefs do this all the time. We say they get too cute when they play. But last night it felt like it was at a different level where I found myself screaming at the television, just play football. Yes. Just play football. Sometimes they try to play basketball on the football field and you should be playing

football on the football field. It was specifically the Travis Kelsey flip behind to, which was very cool. Yes. But then when you have the next play be an interception, it kind of makes you look like clowns because you can't like, they're just trying to reinvent new ways. And you said it a couple of weeks ago, PFT, they just got to get tougher. And like, they do just have to run the ball more. I think that like stop and maybe have a tight end that can block and like get, you know what

I mean? Because they just run, they run everything like you're playing Madden. Every time I watch the chiefs, I just find myself saying at the TV, wait room. Yeah. Just wait room. They need to get stronger. I feel like they're not a strong football team. But yeah, they do the clown shit.

They do all the most confusing things. I think they do it to keep Patrick Mahomes entertained because he's so good when he's just throwing the ball. But now it seems like he's become incapable of making a normal throw where even the normal throws that he has, he does the different arm angles. He does the underhand. He does the left handed stuff. Just play football and you guys will be fine.

I promise. I promise the chiefs can still be a very good football team, at least offensively. Yes. If they just play football like a normal person. That's all they have to do. That's all they have to do on defense. They look better when it counted. Yep.

I guess you can say they had a nice interception, had a fumble on Danny Jones and then that last drive was maybe the most poorly executed two minute drill that I've ever seen. It was tough. At the professional level. Joe George. We had the Geno Smith drive a couple of weeks ago. That's true. But that's also, that's a Geno Smith drive.

Yeah. That was, that was a tough one. But yeah. The, I mean, the Giants I think are now perpetually in this spot where it's like they try really hard. Yeah. They keep it kind of close sometimes. But to be fair to Joe George, maybe all of his clock management miscues were because

he couldn't hear in his headphones. He's saying that many times this year sounds like the league is out to get the New York Giants. Yeah. By disconnecting their headphones and not letting Joe George dial up his dynamic offense that he surely would be calling if in work for the electronic issues. Also Joe Judge, listen, I guess you can, should we change our perception of the chiefs where it's like, you know, the saying like you can't beat the chiefs with field goals and punts.

There was I think two separate times to back to back drives where they punted from like the 50 yard line on fourth and three. And it just felt like, Hey, you're just punting to prolong your death. But they almost did be. They almost did beat him. So it almost worked. That might be the blueprint. And so I'm saying to myself, like what the chiefs, I guess, are so broken and different

now that you can punt and just expect to get the ball back enough that you will win the game. Did the chiefs get so good that they made coaches take unnecessary risks thinking that they had to to beat the chiefs. And that's why their defense was able to capitalize on turnovers. And now since the offense is a little bit worse, teams are still doing that against them, just not getting punished enough. Right.

Right. No judge is onto something here. Get real conservative. Play some Marty ball. Yeah. Play a little more damn ball. The let's play a little guess whose line is it anyway. Okay.

The chiefs are hosting the Packers on Sunday, Sunday afternoon. Chiefs. Chiefs what? Chiefs minus three and a half. It's actually chiefs minus one. So it did change. It was for a while there. Chiefs minus two and a half.

Sounds like Vegas could use a little reminder, Big Cat, that Aaron Rodgers has lost his last seven games on the day that Daylight Savings Time occurs on. That's true. But the chiefs are now two and six against the spread. Thanks for giving me this look. We've talked about this before. Yeah. Last year we set an alarm for it.

And guess what? Daylight Savings Time actually is Saturday. For real for real. So on that Sunday, Aaron Rodgers stinks. We have trust issues with our audience over this. I know that. Look it up. Google it.

When is Daylight Savings Time? Siri. I'll do it for everybody at home. Siri. When is Daylight Savings Time? There. She just showed you. I like your Siri voice.

But yeah, the chiefs are two and six against the spread. There something's broken with them. I don't know. Packers. Right? Yeah. That's what I'm saying. I don't know why the chiefs are still like, I think the Packers are significantly better

than the chiefs. But I think because it's Mahomes and it's Kelsey and Tyree Kill. And by the way, Travis Kelsey, just put in your tickler file. He still looks kind of the same, but he also is 32. And his numbers have not looked great the last few weeks. I don't think he's over the hill. But like the chiefs are predicated on Tyree Kill and Travis Kelsey both being monsters. Is he no longer baby Gronk?

Is he like midlife crisis Gronk now? If he went from 100% Travis Kelsey to 85% Travis Kelsey, I think it changes the dynamic of their team. I think we're in the neighborhood of 90% Travis Kelsey. I'm just saying, put it in your tickler file. Trade deadline. All right. So first we should, we should at least mention the tragic news from, from Las Vegas with

the Henry rugs. It seems as if he was drunk and he's being charged with DUI manslaughter, I believe, killed a person like, I don't, I know we, we don't preach on this podcast. Don't drink and drive. Yeah. It's the dumbest thing you can possibly do. Just don't, it's so easy to get an Uber. It's so easy to find someone to get, pick you up.

Even if you have one beer, don't get behind the wheel of a car. It's so, so easy and it's such a tragic story. I'm not saying tragic football since I'm saying a person lost their life because someone decided to get drunk and he happened to play football. So we should at least mention that crazy, like kind of a shocking thing to, to see unfold like as the news trickled in. Yeah. Like if you, if you talk about drinking and driving, there's a lot of bad stuff that can

happen. This probably being the worst thing that can happen to you. Even the stuff that's not as bad is still really, really bad. Correct. And good that can happen. Like Big Cat said, it's pretty easy to get a ride home if you need one. It's very, very easy. So get a ride home.

It's not like it was like 50 years ago. It's there's Uber and Lyft in every major city in every small city. So but the trade deadline, I don't, there was, there was no big trades, right? Nothing really. Here's how you can sum up the state of my life as a Washington football team fan by just looking back at how I spent the day today, which was hoping that the Washington football team would trade for Mitch Trebisky. I was genuinely excited about that, which was crazy.

Apparently it did almost happen, which would, which would have been dumb for both teams. Who told you that? It's, it's been reported that the teams were very close and they decided to walk away because it's compensation, but it was real. Here's why it would have been dumb though. The bills, you need Mitch Trebisky in case something happened to Josh Allen and he misses his game or two. He's a very, very good backup.

And then the football team, we don't need to win any more games at this point. He would win you. He would win us too many games and then we would not be able to draft another quarterback. So that's, it's pretty depressing to think about where I am as a fan that I was, I was over the moon thinking about that possibility. Billy. Von Miller got traded. Oh yeah.

Von Miller got traded. I, so name, big name. He has not been the same guy. Yeah, but big guy. Also, you're forgetting the story of why, like why there was discontent. There's Venmo requesting. Yeah. There was a Halloween party that was six figs.

He was hosting the Halloween party and he wanted everyone to throw in. And then I think the team wanted to like not do it cause they were losing and he wanted to keep the Halloween party. He put a lot of money into it. And I guess that caused a rift in the locker room. This is a real story. Yes. No shit.

Well, fans actually commented on it publicly. You remember a couple of years ago was after Von Miller's Halloween party that swag Kelly ran in some trouble when he was trying to go home and he entered a house that looked a lot like his. We know. Keycard worked. Several people who have made that mistake. Keycard worked.

It's not a big deal. And then he got the shit kicked out of him by a vacuum cleaner. Yes. But yeah, isn't that something like a sick party? Von Miller. Yeah, it does. I don't know why. Put one of you up.

Losing streak. Who cares? Yeah. Go to the party. But the real reason why I think Von Miller is going to do well in LA. Oh, he'll do well. Not only because of the Aaron Donald factor where he's getting double and triple teamed all the time.

Von Miller be going one on one a lot. But Von Miller gets to play his home games on artificial turf now. Yes. And he's allergic to grass. That's true. So we're seeing Von Miller as like 40% of maybe what he could do at home because he was breaking out on hives. He was like Jake when he's getting smothered by Whitey.

Just an itchy mess. Yes. And now we're going to get. You're still on the couch. You're still on the couch. You're still sneezing. Von Miller's will be good probably for the Rams, but it is like he's not the same Von Miller.

No, he's not the same. But he's still good. Yeah. It would be crazy if the Rams signed him to a long term deal after this. Yeah. But I think for one year, for nine games or whatever it is, the Rams continue to just say draft picks don't matter, which I love. How many years in a row have the Rams gone all in?

They don't have any more draft picks ever. I'm convinced that Sean McVeigh is just telling people he has draft picks. Yeah. He'll be like, yeah, I'll give you two thirds next year or whatever. I was thinking. And they're like, sure. And then he's hoping that they don't actually look up what draft picks they had. Scott Hansen, our guy from the, he's the best red zone host in the world.

He told me this the other day, apparently back in like the seventies, the Redskins traded a draft pick to two different teams, an upcoming draft pick, and they didn't get caught on it immediately. That seems to me like Sean McVeigh is just like saying whatever number he hopes the other team will be happy with or less need, I guess, is him saying it and then just hoping they don't check because I don't think the Rams pick in the draft next year. They have four picks next year and they have four picks in 2023. They don't have their first round pick either year.

Next year, they don't have a first round or second round pick. It's actually smart because if you're doing that, you're just using the rest of the league as your farm system. Yeah. Yeah. I mean draft draft pick, the draft is a crap shoot. So why not, you know, see if it works out. Where did Melvin Ingram get traded to again?

He got traded from the Steelers to the chiefs. Yep. Chiefs. So maybe he helped the chiefs. My problem with Melvin Ingram is I just, I always want to say Melvin Gordon. Yeah. Yeah. And Mark Ingram.

And Mark Ingram. Yeah. And Mark Ingram is on the Saints. Right. But that happened last week. Yeah. He is the most confusing guy to be wearing a new number in New Orleans. I think he's a 14.

Yeah. 14. Yeah. That looks weird, weird on a running guy. I do wish the Bears had traded Allen Robinson. They did not. I mean, I guess trades are hard to do in the NFL. It feels like they're harder to do than other leagues because they don't happen very often.

But that felt like a good situation to maybe get some draft capital back for a team that's not going to the playoffs and the Bears. Also we had Odell Beckham put on the full court press to try to get traded. That's in, I would, I would imagine that was an irredeemable situation to begin with. But when you have LeBron James tweeting on your behalf, your dad creating a Odell Beckham's open all the time highlight tape and everyone like talking about it all day and then you don't get traded. I got to imagine that's pretty awkward.

Yeah. Anyone who's watched any of the Browns games could probably tell you that Odell Beckham stinks right now. Yeah. I think he's still got something good inside him somewhere, right? Because he's still Odell Beckham. Well, but it seems like he can't even catch the ball now. Maybe it's good that he's not getting traded because then he can still blame his dad can

blame Baker Mayfield, right? Like if he got traded to a really good team or a situation that was like one of the teams that are upper echelon teams right now and he wasn't good or screwed up the locker room, that's a pretty good case like scientific experiment, the controlled experiment of Odell Beckham that he screwed it up. Whereas the Browns, you can always just be like, well, it's the Browns. Yeah, you can tell. I don't mean that.

I love the Browns, but like that's, you can say it's the Browns. You can tell if you're, if you're like an elite receiver, supposedly, and the chiefs don't try to trade for you at this point, that they probably see something on film that everybody else should be seeing. But I do love the fact that his dad is creating highlight tapes. It was, I watched the whole thing. Do you think he's got the NFL, like the game pass where he's sitting down making him himself? You're like, wow, that was really wide open.

It was very well done. Yeah. It was very well done. Anything else from the trade deadline? I don't. Floria was wrong. Oh, Floria was wrong. No, no, no.

94.9 percent. Yods were wrong. No, no. Don't you know anything about Nate Silver, Jake? You can say whatever percentage and if you're wrong, you can be like, well, yep, that's 5.1 percent. That's 5.1 percent. I thought about it.

I thought about it. So if anything, Mike Floria was right. It's actually our bias to believe that the 5 percent couldn't happen. Yep. That's our fault. Exactly. Yeah. We're just 2016 all over again.

Yeah. Seriously. Okay. Let's talk college football playoff. Yeah. Should we do it? I don't want to say I told you so, but I told you so. The college football playoff rankings have been released.

They go as follow. Let me pull them up. They go Georgia number one, Alabama number two, Michigan state three, Oregon four, Ohio state five, Cincinnati six. The college football committee has essentially eliminated Cincinnati before they even like have a like get to the stretch run because not only were they Nate ranked sixth, but they also didn't rank Houston or SMU, which Cincinnati plays SMU, they're seven and one. And then if they, Houston continues to win, they would play Houston, the AAC final championship

game. They are also seven and one. Neither of those teams were ranked in the top 25, making it as it stands right now, zero good games that Cincinnati can win the rest of the way. So they basically have made it impossible. They need, like we said to Kirk Herb Street to start the season Kirk, we're going to need the seafood tower to start, maybe some French onion soup. That's before we even get to our stakes.

I typically order mine medium rare minus and I like mashed potatoes and the second cheapest bottle of wine. Oh, we'll get, we're going to get all the sides, but essentially the only way Cincinnati can get into the, the college football playoff at this point is there needs to be multiple losses from some of these already won lost teams. Now if you look at how they ranked him, and by the way, these are just completely imaginary made up rankings that they put out today because first of all, they're hilarious. They're very funny.

Objectively rankings. There's so much stuff for people to get mad about complain about. They're trying to get eyeballs on it right off the bat. They can just decide to change him next week. They can do whatever they want because it's their job to put these teams in an arbitrary order. But I don't think, but what they did here to make Alabama number two, they made Texas A&M pretty high ranked and they made Mississippi State way too high ranked so that it would

justify Alabama being higher to say, look, they have these two great quality wins against these other teams, which are also ranked in the imaginary list of numbers. So the reason why I actually think it's not, it's not arbitrary in my mind. I think the college football playoff is very clear with what they're doing. Like they've always been consistent. That's the part that like, I know Cincinnati fans are upset. I know they have a real gripe. Freddie Freeman just hit a soul home run.

Now the Braves cannot lose, seven nothing. They have been very consistent with what they do every single year. Four or five conferences, big wins matter more than losses and that's how they rank them. Mississippi State has three losses, but Mississippi State also has three ranked wins. They beat Kentucky. They beat Texas A&M and it's escaping me who else they beat, but they beat another team as well.

I can't remember off the top of my head. Someone helped me line, line, line NC state. That's right. That's why they ranked Mississippi State where they ranked them because they have three top 25 wins. The St like Alabama, if you want to get mad about it, I understand, but they're at least consistent where Alabama has two top 25 wins where they completely blew out the competition in Mississippi State and Ole Miss.

They won on the road at Florida. Like as crazy as it may, may make people and I, I completely understand their gripe and I think they have a fair gripe because it is the power five, invitational. There's just no way that anyone can crash the party, at least their consistent year to year. And I like, I saw this coming from a mile away and when I see it, I'm like, all right, it all makes sense. I get it.

Even the Oregon ranking, like I actually am happy that they acknowledged that Oregon beat Ohio State because by the end of the season, that will be thrown to the wayside because how they did it was Oregon's four, Ohio State's five, Ohio State has to play Michigan State. They have to play Michigan. They have to play a big 10 championship game. The only thing Oregon has left is basically Utah at Utah, and then maybe again in the Pac-12 championship game who's not ranked.

So they're saying that throwing Oregon when Ohio State wins. Yeah. They're going to basically say, no, no, no, no, the game mattered, but then Ohio State did enough at the end to turn them bone, jump them recognizing the fact that they should be the right. I don't, I don't disagree that Alabama should be highly ranked. I do think that they overranked those other two teams to make Alabama look better. I think that.

I think Alabama should be ranked four, but they didn't do that. And here's why, because they want to see in the SEC championship game, Alabama, Georgia, if Alabama wins, Alabama and Georgia get to advance. Now here's where it gets really interesting. And this is low key, what I'm hoping for just for the chaos and, and the ridiculousness factor of it. Alabama loses to Georgia. High scoring game could have gone either way.

Alabama has two losses. I don't think they'll do that. They might, they might big cat. They might, if they do, I'm tacking on a night at medieval times for Kirk Herb Street. If Alabama gets into the college football playoffs above and undefeated since now, you know, it's probably more likely, uh, Alabama, Georgia play, Alabama beats Georgia. They both go in Michigan State loses close to Ohio State. Ohio State goes and wins the big 10 championship game.

It becomes the SEC versus the big 10. Invitational. That could happen. Michigan State and Ohio State both get in. That also is set up like the way they have ranked it with Michigan being seven and Michigan State being three. I think that there's definitely a possibility that you get two big 10 teams in as well. It's I again, I think that like, if you, if you, if you were shocked by these rankings,

I don't know if you've been paying attention because this is again, they, they rank based on who you like big time wins and losses don't matter as much. Well, they all just don't, they also ranked based on who drops off the bigger sack of cash for us. And in that case, I understand it. If that's what they're doing, I appreciate the transparency of them saying to Cincinnati, well, good luck being poor, enjoy your poverty franchise because you're not bringing in dollars like Alabama.

And Oklahoma's on the out, it has some work to do. I actually thought that they ranked them Oklahoma correctly. I was surprised by it, but I don't disagree with it. Well, they have Oklahoma's only good win this season is Kansas State and Kansas States five and three. I would say Texas to Texas and four and four. Yeah. But by an eyeball test, Texas is not as bad as their record.

But they've fallen off. They've fallen off. So I think you can't, you can't play that like the Texas is going to struggle to, or you can play whatever. That's the beauty of the college football rankings is their entire objective. Right. Right. But I'm saying like Texas is not that you can't qualify Texas under the, under the

rules they play by, and they play by basically the same rules every year as like, if you beat a good team, it doesn't matter if you lose a close conference game. If you lose ugly, that matters. Like when Ohio State lost to Purdue by a billion. But they don't see Texas as a good team. So they've thrown them to the side and that's why Oklahoma ends up at eight undefeated. I think some of their wins are actually hurting Oklahoma. The Kansas win.

Hurt Oklahoma. Yeah. Tulane win. Oh yeah. Hurt Oklahoma. Oh yeah. Definitely. They know Oklahoma hasn't been impressive.

I think Oklahoma fans would even admit it. Like they have the, the good thing with Oklahoma is they still have their whole schedule in front of them. They have to play Oklahoma State. They have to play Baylor. They have to play the big 12 championship game. So they will also have a chance to start leapfrogging the interest. The last interesting thing I'll point out is Wake Forest has no chance and that would

be hilarious in that they will be the first time a power five conference could potentially go undefeated and not make the college football playoff. Yes. That would, that would be objectively funny. The ACC is so down they, they don't have wins against ranked teams. I don't think that the ACC should be a power five conference in football. I really don't. Well, it becomes bad.

It hurts. I really don't. It hurts. Um, any other college football ranking thoughts? I, again, I feel bad for Cincinnati fans, but I also am like, what did you expect? Because we've seen it. We saw it 2000. Uh, what was it?

2017 UCF finished sixth. They, they, they were like the highest they got ranked before the bull season was 12. I'll put on the cape for the, for the little guys. You know, I think it's bullshit that Cincinnati isn't at least, they should be number five. I make sense that it should be, they, they, they should have thrown them a bone and made them four and then let them drop. I'm just saying like the 2010, uh, TCU went undefeated. They didn't finish, you know, they, they finished second and there was a one loss Patterson

2009, uh, was a TCU again. No, sorry. Boise State finished undefeated. They finished fourth in the polls, 2006 Boise State finished undefeated and they finished behind two loss to two loss teams. It's been written. It's been said. It's been done.

They just, they will never like acknowledge teams that are not in the power of five. Yeah. I mean, the, the Cincinnati, Georgia game last year, that's, that should be enough to prove to people that Cincinnati is actually a good football game. But then you can play the old SEC card if they weren't trying. No, we're not playing that card. No, but no, that's what, that's what people will do. It seemed to me like Georgia was trying last year.

Yeah. At least in the second half. Well, they won. Yeah. So I'm saying we're trying, I'm saying they were trying Cincinnati played them really, really well. Yes. I mean, Cincinnati, it's, it's a disgrace to the state of Ohio that your best football

team is not going to get into the college football playoff this year. Yeah. No, I, I think they should have been ranked higher. I feel bad for them, but I also, again, I'm not surprised by any of this because this is just how they do it. They need to, we need to get to 12 teams. We need to get 12 teams so that it's not a, at the start of the season, a college football playoff that only half of the teams, less than half of the teams are eligible for.

Cause that's really what it comes down to. I mean, they should. They didn't even get a top 25. They're undefeated. Yeah. So the rest of the conferences should just break away and say, okay, we're going to do our own, make it division one, double A plus. Yeah.

There you go. Perfect. Um, all right. Should we get to hot seat? Cool throne. Again. Shout out to Braves. Up seven, nothing.

Would you rather be up seven, nothing in the seventh inning of a World Series game or up 28 to three in the third quarter of a World Series? Hmm. 23 in a World Series. Super Bowl. Or what I said, you said 23 in a World Series. Yeah. I'd rather be up 23 in a World Series.

23 in a World Series. That'd be score. Got me. That would be tough. Question. Uh, here's the real question. If the Braves did somehow lose this game and then lose the series, will we ever be able to go to the city of Atlanta again?

Uh, I don't know. It would be like us and General Sherman. I'll miss Northside. Do not, do not serve this man. Yeah. Northside tavern no longer six inside. I'm told. Oh, okay.

But I still would like to go back there. Yeah. Um, all right. I'm brought to you by our friends across country mortgage rates are unbelievably low. Don't pay the bank more money than you need to, uh, cross country mortgage is the place they are. People first, people like Barstool rates are all time low. They may never get this low again.

Call today for a fast free rate quote. Our partners will save you a lot of money. Call today and our friends across country mortgage will give you a free home valuation that is free to you just for calling just like the all star athlete cross country mortgage pushes themselves through the entire lending process. If they get blocks, they figure out ways around to get the ball over the line. Don't miss the window as rates expected to creep up, reach out to them and see what you can do for you.

Uh, when you connect with cross country mortgage, tell them Barstool sent you go to cross country mortgage.com slash Barstool to learn more about your future home buying experience or refinance your current mortgage cross country mortgage LLC, NMLS 3029 all loan subject to underwriting approval, WWW NMLS consumer access.org Hank. Uh, first, I'd just like to shout out everyone that's been reaching out after I back situation on Sunday. A lot of people reaching out. A lot of people have gone through similar things, giving me exercises, giving me things

to do. I appreciate that. Big Cat. Uh, we posted the video of the exercises he talked about on Sunday. So road to recovery starts, starts today. Hell yes. Um, you look like you're moving around. Okay.

Though. Yeah. No, it's gotten like significantly better from, you know, Sunday to today. Sunday. I thought I wasn't going to be able to walk again today. I think with some rehab and some exercises, build my core. That's, that's what I've gathered. I just need to get core strength, core, good core strength.

Uh, my hot seat though is the Celtics, Boston Celtics, uh, absolute kind of dumpster fire early on in the season. They lost to the Zards. Two games, two games in the last week, both games they should have won. What happened in the Bulls game? Bulls game, uh, they were absolutely destroying them. And then they, I think the fourth quarter was like, was it 28 to 11? It was the first time I think in NBA history that a team was up 14 in the

fourth quarter and lost by 14. Yeah. So they were, they were dominating the third quarter. They had maybe the worst fourth quarter performance I've ever seen as well. It was, they were dominating the whole game and they got blown out somehow. It was that bad of performance. Uh, Marcus smart afterwards was saying like Jalen and, and, uh, Jason Tatum don't pass the ball enough.

Oh no. They're new trouble in paradise. They're new coach after the wizard's game, Jalen Brown, our COVID. And then after the wizard's game that they lost, they blew that game. Uh, the coach was like, I've never seen someone who's all over the place. Like Jalen Brown, when he's like, you know, some games, he's fine. Some games he's going through like COVID, like he just had COVID. Uh, so just kind of a disaster in Boston.

Hmm. Damn. It's a long season. What, what's the fix? Blow it up. I, I don't know. I think they need like, I don't, I think, I think they could use a trade. I think they have, I don't know.

I, it's one of those things. Email this, this new coach supposed to be a player's coach. Jalen's first black head coach in Celtics history. Yeah. I think that's what people are saying. Right. That's what Jason, Jason Williams. No, the hacker said that.

Right. He said, Jay Williams told us that they said they want to, you know, a player's coach, someone's in their face and like, it might be one of those things where they're just airing it all out and that's a good thing. Or it's a disaster. It's almost, it's, it's, I, I lean towards it being a disaster. I don't know. Cause the other could be one of those things where it's like, we're also

close as a team. We can say this about each other and we love our coach. So we can say this about us. Or they're going to be like, yeah, no, either way, the other option is like, they just really, really hate each other. And then on the other hand, maybe they hate each other so much that it's actually good that that conflict will get you to a place where you can build a bridge.

I don't really buy that part. No. Yeah. No, I'm down for a trade. I don't know. Blow it up. I'm not blowing up, but like, you know, a tweak tweak. Yeah.

No, I, I lean towards sometimes good teams that can't be great. Those are the hardest ones to blow up. But you got to blow them up. You got to blow it up. We'll see. All right. Your cool. Oh, my cool.

There was is Jake Marsh. Well, this is before the beginning of the show. Yeah, yeah, that was bad. I did not do any form of a job. Each other. I just thank the hand come up. I didn't know for no. It was the motion.

No, no, no job. Not at no job. Yeah. No job. They're saying Boo earns. Yeah. No cap. No job.

Oh, there's a job. The commercial. This is a commercial of actually. Slap chop the Nutriblade. But we got some his name. I got to pull up his name so I get his name right. Waylon Napa Dogen on Instagram. He's a musician.

He's got a good amount of a couple of thousand followers on Instagram. He made a Jake on me remix. Oh, hell yeah. Dedicated to Jake. We'll put it at the end of the show as a take on me remix. But cool thrown. Jake, he's the only one out of us to ever have a take on me remix. There you go.

That makes it for the cereal box situation, huh? Yeah, it's great. Thank you to it's whatever is Waylon. I listen to it. It's awesome. Waylon, that's that's such a sweet name. If you're a musician, that's he's got a great look. PFT, you would you would you would dig Nashville?

I don't know. Probably. Yeah, it seems like a Nashville guy, maybe studio musician. I should know he's can he's Canadian. Oh, oh, even better. Hey, OK, hello there. Waylon. All right.

PFT, your hot seat was my hot seat is the ball. The ball is on the hot seat. The NBA basketball is on the hot seat. So we reported this while a back a while back, like two months ago, said a reminder for people, take the unders and NBA basketball games at the start of the season and work. It didn't. It worked on the first game. Oh, it did work for the box game.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was a I sweat that one out. It's miserable, by the way, betting NBA unders. It's terrible because they're such good shooters. You can and they go up and down the court so quickly and the fucking reset when they get an offense rebound that makes the shot clock go even faster. You could have just stopped the sentence that it's miserable, betting the NBA because every game is like it's like Mario Kart.

It's tough if you're down, you get a lightning and then you come back. It's very, very tough. But and I have no doubt at a backup, whether or not the unders are back in play, but we're starting to see several NBA players publicly complaining about the new ball that got switched from the Spalding to Wilson. Paul George, I think this was yesterday, he said, it doesn't have the same touch and softness that the Spalding ball had. You'll see this year, a lot of bad misses.

So you've seen a lot of airball. So I think Paul George is saying, like, be on the lookout in case there's a playoff game where a certain player doesn't shoot very well. Just know that the ball is a little bit different. I looked up his stats. Paul George is actually shooting 49 percent from the field, which is a vast improvement over his career average, which is 43 percent. So he's he's really enjoying this ball.

So I in the sources I talk to the story out of some blind sources in the NBA said the ball is completely the same. But the the story I heard before was the ball is completely the same. But it will be no doubt that there will be players that will complain about it when they have a slow start. I also think this the scoring has a lot to do with the foul, the James Harden rules that they're not calling the same. They're actually calling the game the way it probably should be called.

And not if you jump into someone, it's a foul no matter what. Yeah. So I was I was looking up the stats because I thought maybe Paul George is making an excuse. Right. He's getting out of it. Maybe he's doing it. Yeah, he's smart. He's pre pre player when Russell preying himself. Like if Russell Westbrook says it's like, no, dude, you just did you see that shot he had off the backboard?

That was awesome. You just think. Yeah. Russell Westbrook. But shout out skip. I think that's his. But it's yeah, it's smart to get out of it. Paul George genius. Just know that in the playoffs this year, if he has a bad day, he's not sick. The ball. It's the ball that he played with for 82. He's still adjusting. Yes. Yes.

My cool throne is truth. Truth is on the on the cool throne because the truth will set you free. The truth always comes out. And last night, there was a situation that developed online about Texas's special teams coordinator, Jeff Banks, yeah, who allegedly ran away from his wife and kids a few years ago, married an exotic dancer named Paul assassin.

Great name. Yes. Surprised that one wasn't taken already. Paul assassin owns a monkey named Gia, who takes part in some of her routines on the pole. Yes, Billy. Emotional support. Excuse me. Yes. Good point, Billy, an emotional support animal who supports her when she's dancing for money at gentlemen's clubs.

Yeah. She was on the Jerry Springer show. She's very talented and they own a house together in Steiner Ranch right outside of Austin, Texas. They had a little Halloween party, a haunted house party at their house. And one of the guests was a young child who allegedly got bit by this monkey. Correct. Now, the news came out and everybody was very quick to jump on pole assassin and say, Hey, you need to take control of your monkey. Well, if they had done a little bit of research on their own,

they would have found out that Paul assassin clearly put up balloons on the gate to indicate that children should not go back there. Right. The child was on the wrong side of the property that she or he did not have permission to be on. And that's where the monkey attack occurred. Alleged monkey attack. Right. So now I've heard a lot of conjecture, a lot of hearsay in the last 12 hours. Some people saying that maybe this monkey isn't even her original monkey.

It might have been a new monkey. Oh, no, not trained. I don't know. I don't know if that's true or not. But all I can go off of is the fact that Paul assassin put out a video last night showing her property and showing how far the child had to walk back there. And there was a sign on the monkey enclosure saying emotional support animal. Do not go in. Do not pet. People are saying that looked like that sign had been put up in the last two minutes before she took the video because there had been rain in Austin, Texas

for the last two nights. I don't buy that. I think the burden of proof is on you to prove to me that it's a brand new sign. I stand with Paul assassin. I stand with Gea the monkey. I stand with the University of Texas on this one. And if this story seems like it was just created doing one of those mad libs from like an Oklahoma State message board, it probably is. They've probably written fanfic about this before.

But this is maybe my favorite college football story of the year so far. The the takeaway from this and I've said it many, many times. It needs to be repeated again. Never trust anyone who owns a monkey or a snake as a pet. They're not trustworthy or a frog or a frog. They're not trustworthy. Those those animals. A monkey is just it's basically you buy a monkey. It sits in your house and it's just you set the timer for when it decides

it wants to rip your face off. That's all it is. It's like that's it's just one day it will decide I'm going to rip your face off or your neighbor's face off. And then the monkey charade will be over snake. Very similar one day. It will get loose. It will hide. It will do something. It will try to eat you in the middle of the night.

Never trust those people. What's so wrong with having a dog? Also, the case law is clear on this situation. The monkey was standing at its ground. That was its home domicile. Yep. I know. Do we have a monkey law expert, Billy? There was three monkeys in the cage. Three monkeys. So we don't even know which monkey.

We don't know if Gia was the biter, but we do know Gia's vaccination status. OK, received all of its shots to prevent a primate, which really doesn't help us because we don't know if Gia was the one to transmission. So it's a Lib monkey. Yeah, highly vaccinated. Florian would love that. Extremely vaccinated monkey. All the shots. All the shots. OK. So it was hopefully the child is safe from what I understand

in my reading that I've done on the topic. It was it was a minor bite. Listen, Paul assassin didn't even know that a child got bitten by her monkey at her party until one of her neighbors came over and was like, hey, I just had to treat a child for a monkey bite. Yes. So I mean, it's it's it sounds like a witch hunt. It sounds like something that Texas A&M fired up because they're jealous. They hate us because they ain't us.

They're resort to making stories up about a special team's coach's stripper wife and emotional support monkey biting people on Halloween at a haunted house. I'm I'm just not buying it right now. Yeah, I stand with Paul assassin. I stand with you. Agreed. All right. My hot seats is John Paxson because Scotty Pippen's the excerpt from his new book is out. And I he didn't have to put this in, but he put it in. I'll read it to you.

They had a falling out and John Paxson called Scotty to try to mend the fences recently. And Scotty Pippen said, John, I said that is all fine and dandy, but you worked in the front office for the Bulls for almost 20 years. You had a chance to change that and you didn't. He began to cry, not knowing how to respond. I waited for him to stop while he was crying. I couldn't be sure. And honestly, I didn't care.

And that's that's tough if you're I have no I don't feel bad for John Paxson, but to wake up and be like, oh, new Scotty Pippen excerpt dropped. And the main takeaway is that I cried on the phone to him. Yeah. For like just threw that in there, ruthless. And I'll help you out, Scotty. The reason why I cried is because he feels very guilty about. And and Scotty Pippen does have a legitimate gripe, I think, with the way that he was treated when he came back to the team.

They used him like a prop. Correct. And they found out that he would actually like to do work for the team. Yes. You know, like, OK, go to this Duke game and then send in a report that they never read. And then they never asked him to do any more fieldwork on his own. So I get it with Scotty Pippen. But my main takeaway from everything that I've heard from Scotty so far recently, he's just a very unhappy human being.

No, it's it's it's like borderline tragic in the fact that Scotty Pippen, I love him and he's an all time NBA player. But it does feel like he is looking for something that he'll never find. And it won't happen by like burning bridges in a book. Yeah, he was talking about how the documentary he was disappointed in the last dance because it opened up with three shots of Michael Jordan doing incredible things. It's like, well, yes, that's because he's Michael Jordan. Like, how about like Scotty Pippen?

You were part of the greatest like team run of all time and one of the greatest like dynasties of all time. And it's OK that you're listed second behind Michael Jordan. Right. It's Michael Jordan, Scotty Pippen and Phil Jackson and everybody that they've talked to about that era of the bulls. Nobody's really happy. Nobody's like great friends with each other, except for Charles Oakley. Besides that, they all kind of have like they acknowledge that they kind of

hated each other while they played with each other. But that's what made him spin zone. Hank, maybe that's what the Celtics are on the verge of right now. Mm hmm. They all hate each other so much. They're just they're on the on the precipice of a sixp. Yeah. Yeah. All right. There it is. Sure. And then my cool throne is Kyrie Irving because I'm pretty sure he's not

getting vaccinated for an entire like prolonged ad for the new matrix thing that's coming out in December because he posted a picture of Morpheus today on his Instagram with no caption. Was that that might be a red pill? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like I think he's not getting vaccinated as part of a viral marketing scheme for the new matrix. I actually could see Kyrie Irving seeing the new matrix movie and either one

going completely off the grid or two flipping his entire mindset entirely. And now he just lives for basketball. Yeah, he's going to deeply affect him one way or the other. He strikes me as a guy who walks around and be like, have you seen V for Vendetta? That that movie changed my life. Yeah. But yeah, I just great movie. Yeah, he's going to get heavy into the NFT space.

There's definitely something. I mean, posting Morpheus. I think there's a new what is it? Matrix show coming out in December, I want to say there's something matrix. Never seen him. You've never seen the matrix? No. Really? You got to watch.

Matrix show, which pill would I which is the one that tells me that everything's fine and is a complete illusion. Loop him. Yeah, that one. Yeah, just delude me. Wait, is there a matrix thing coming out? There's matrix for December 22. There it is. So yeah. So he's just doing he's doing more.

He probably is getting paid more money to do marketing than he is by the Nets. And he's like, OK, yeah, I won't get vaccinated for a few months. Why not? Wouldn't that be hilarious if that after it came out like 50 million dollars? He got vaccinated the next day. It was like, yeah, my my ad deals up. So he oh, and the Ben Simmons not taking mental health from the Sixers. What do you mean?

He's like, not the six are trying to get him help. And he's taking their help. That's great. You know what the best help would be? That's what Ben Simmons should say. It's just like, trade me. That would be the best mental health of all time. Yes. Put it on them. Be like, do you hate mental health?

Yeah. Why do you make me work for you and pay me all this money? Yeah. Billy. My hot seat is Carson Wentz. Brett Hudley was recently released from the Colts and Sam Ellinger was promoted to QB two. So we have a Carson Wentz playing Thursday night against a very dangerous Jets team. Who knows if Carson Wentz gets benched. Sam Ellinger comes in as a Jets fan.

I'd be very concerned. This could be a Tom Brady to situation. The Jets again, one of their linebackers knocks Carson Wentz out of the game. A journeyman quarterback with all the expectations on first round pick. Guess who comes in a sixth round pick? Sam Elner. Right. That reminds me of something. Yep. Agreed. Where it is, is the Colts brass really like Sam Elner?

The brass. The brass story out of Indianapolis. Yeah. Exactly. Who is the brass? Jim Erse and his guitar. No, he's a guitar. Yeah, he's a string section. It's his guitars, actually, just talking to himself. That's more of orchestral. I feel like who's their GM now, Grigson? No, Grigson hasn't been there for four years.

Doyle. No. Yeah. Why am I spacing on this guy's name? Chris Ballard. That's right. Ballard. Yeah, he was an executive of the year. Yeah, Chris Ballard is the brass. Yeah. Your Cool Throne. My Cool Throne is Zach Wilson turns out during the game.

He texted Mike White after every great play and said how awesome it was. And tweeted a video of Mike White talking about Zach Wilson being a great teammate. So Cool Throne, Zach Wilson being a great teammate and his future because the Jets just signed his quarterback coach onto their staff. So they're investing in his future. That's a little bit extra, isn't it? Like, you don't have to text him after every good play. Yeah. There were so many.

But Cool Throne. Yeah. The future. He led the league in passing week eight. How about that? Exactly. In passing yards. Billy, real quick, though, give us your prediction on Thursday Night Football for the Jets. I actually think it's going to be a great show.

I'm excited. Fuck show? I think. No, no, no. I don't think it's going to be. There's going to be a lot of fuck shit because Carson Wentz is playing. Now, do we? So like. Are we going to record?

Are we going to lose? Is the Colts Jets worthy of us recording late? No, absolutely not. I don't think so. Come on, congratulations to the Colts. Yeah. There's your start of the Friday's part of my day. Are you serious?

Yeah, Sam Elinger got in in the second half. Lit them up. Three touchdowns. We watched Bears games in the second half. Yeah. And a rushing touchdown. OK, fine. We watched Bears games.

Yes. Yes. Bears are. Bears are playing on a Thursday night this year, have they? Last season. Last season? Yeah, they beat the box. They were a playoff team last year.

Anyway, they created the MVP for us. Anyway, anyway, we'll do Zoom. Also Denver. OK, how about that, Billy? That's fine. Denver paid 9 million of volunteers, 9.1 million guaranteed money. So it's they kind of paid to.

They really want to do it after the Halloween party at the Asco. Yeah. All right, Jake, finish us off with Hot Seat Cool Throw. And then we'll get to Bubba Watson and we have Chaps. My hot seat is the Villanova student section. PFT posted this video a couple of days ago. They had their season tip off Hoops, Mania, and the students stormed the court afterwards.

And literally every single student in this video go to PFT's sweater tripped. I think it was an elevated court, but. It's very funny. It looks like the invasion of Normandy if it took place inside of a Brooks Brothers' room. Luckily, they're a powerhouse. They probably won't have a reason to storm the court.

Everyone just eating shit trying to run out there. Yeah. Is College Basketball doing this on purpose to try to discourage students from storming the court? Laying booby traps out there? Yeah. Something to think about. That's certainly possible.

Cool Throne is friend of the program, Jeff Fisher. He and Marvin Lewis are coaching the 2022 NFLPA Collegiate Bowl at the Rose Bowl. Yes. Jeff Fisher. Rose Bowl added to the resume. Versed Marvin Lewis. Yes.

I love it. That's going to be such a 12 to 12 game. I love it. I love it. Actually, no one's going to win that game. That's going to be a tie. January 29. That's the unwinnable force against the undefeatable object.

Yes. All right. Good job. Let's get to bubble Watson. Then we got chaps on the other side. PFT, you got a quick word for our sponsor. Yes. I love HelloFresh.

We've had a couple different food delivery meal prep sponsors on the show. I'm here to tell you that HelloFresh is the best one that I have personally used. HelloFresh ships great ingredients right to your door. Not only are they delicious, by the way, I'm not even reading a script right now. This is how much I believe in the project and the product.

They're fun to make, and they're amazing tasting. It's food that you actually want to eat. It's food that you want to cook yourself. The holidays can be really hectic, but HelloFresh keeps things simple. They have recipes and ingredients that cut out grocery shopping and limit meal prep time so you can spend more of the festive season with friends and family.

If you ask me, there's one thing that I don't like about cooking, and that's going to the grocery store. I don't like taking the time out to shop for groceries during the day if I'm going to be eating a meal at home. I like cooking. I enjoy the process of cooking, of making a meal for myself with HelloFresh. They make it very easy by doing all the shopping for you.

They've got great recipes as fall transitions to winter. There's nothing better than cozying up with a comforting home-cooked meal. It's soup season. It's soup season. They have chicken ramen and shoyu style broth and turkey ragu noki. They make it a no-brainer to skip on paying for takeout.

HelloFresh isn't just for meals. They're marketplace features, a variety of add-ons for breakfast, desserts, seasonal stacks, like Pillsbury pumpkin cookie dough. Damn, that sounds good. They give you the flexibility you need to easily customize your order on the app within minutes. They make the holidays easier.

Your weekly delivery is made to help you cut back on meal prep and cleanup, and their limited edition holiday boxes deliver everything you need to cook up a family feast. No planning necessary. That's an underrated part about HelloFresh. The cleanup is very easy too. No extra packaging.

They just simplify the entire process of cooking dinner on your own. Go to hellofresh.com slash PMT14. You're gonna use promo code PMT14 for up to 14 free meals and three free gifts. That's two weeks worth of meals. 14 free meals and three free gifts. Go to hellofresh.com slash PMT14.

HelloFresh is America's number one meal kit. Now here's Bubba Watson. Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is two time master's champion, pro golfer legend, Bubba Watson. He has a new book out. It's called Up and Down. Go buy it right now.

Bubba Watson's new book. It's called Up and Down Victories and Struggles in the Course of Life. So thank you for joining us. We love having people in studio. We'll get into everything, but let's start with the book. So what made you decide like, hey, now's the time I'm gonna write a book?

Because I always feel like that's a big decision of your career's not over, but you're writing a book about your career while you're still golfing. Yeah, for sure. You know, the pandemic happened. Everybody wanted me to write a book before when I won the master's for the first time.

And I wasn't ready. Like write a golf book. Who cares about a golf book, right? Nobody cares where your elbow is at impact. And so for me, I wanted to do it at the right time. And the pandemic happened. I just came out of the darkest days of my life, or so far, the darkest days of my life.

And so I felt like it was time for me to share, to help myself, but also to try to help other people. And so the timing with the pandemic and everything, I wish I could say I put that all together, but obviously it was just a random, that that was the time to do it. And it just, it fit. I just came out of my darkest hours in 2017.

And so here we are today, talking about the book. Yeah. What was it in 2017 that took you to a bad place where you realized something's gotta change? You know, it builds up. You know, when you sit back and really, really dig deep into it, it starts from childhood, bits and pieces from every part of life, right?

Golf, to friendships, to all these things, how my parents raised me. And then in 2017, I got down to 162 pounds, normally around 190 on a good day. And so when I saw 162 on the scale, I walked over to my bed about 15 feet away. And I just fell to my knees and said, God, take me. I said, I can't do this no more.

I don't want my wife to see me go through this. I don't want my kids. So blood work, sickness, all those things, nothing, I didn't have anything, but I had obviously some mental issues, some stuff going on. I was battling and I wasn't sharing it. I was letting it fester inside of me.

And so that was my darkest moments when I had to go to the kitchen and show my wife and tell my wife that I'm a man, but I'm weak. I need to change. And I would imagine mental issues, golf's got to help that, right? Being like the most mentally taxing sport. Yes.

I was perusing the book today and you got into it about how bad shots would eat you up and poor performances would eat you up. That's got to be, I can't think of a sport that is more mentally taxing, especially if you're not in the right headspace than golf. Right. And so when, yeah, when I started watching the world rankings

or the FedEx Cup or, you know, trying to make the Ryder Cup or the President's Cup team and I was letting that dictate how my day was or how my life was and listening to people badmouth me or seeing people badmouth me on social media, you know, it took a toll on me and, you know, I can sit here and say I'm tough as it can be, but when you hear those words or see those words,

it takes a toll on you. Yeah. So that's interesting because, you know, there's obviously social media, there's some bad sides to it and people are nasty online. Were you just reading replies and reading what people were saying?

Because we always think of athletes like, I think it's a weird catch 22 for athletes where if they do reply, we're like, oh, get, you know, get some perspective, dude, you're a millionaire, you're playing a sport, like why do you care what these trolls say? But if you also just try to ignore it, it can eat at you that way too.

So you kind of are damned if you do, damned if you don't. Yeah, but if you think about it, we're all human, right? We all have issues. We can say we don't have issues, but we all got them, everybody in this room has them. Whatever those issues are, it's big to you, it might be small to me,

but my issues might be small to you, right? And so we're all battling something. And when it comes to that, you know, that's what you have to realize. And being an athlete, we're still a human being, it's just my job, I mean, you know, being a professional golfer. Somebody else's job, they got issues over there,

they got issues in life. And so yeah, we're all trying to get through life, we all want to be loved and respected. And so that's really what we're trying to do, but you're right, I mean, if you don't read it, you know it's the hair, and if you do read it, you know it's there. So either way, it doesn't matter, you know it's coming.

So to lighten the room a little, I'll give you one of my issues. I keep betting against Georgia. Well. Yeah, that's an issue I'm dealing with right now. That's not an issue, that's just dumb. Like, yeah, that's one where you can, right, I mean, that's not an issue.

From your perspective, you're like, well, you could just stop betting on Georgia, but you don't understand how our minds work somehow. Like 14 points, 23 points. Well, first of all, it's gonna happen. If we quit, the next thing that's gonna happen, we're gonna be like, damn, I wish I should have bet against Georgia.

Yeah, right. But see, that is the truth. You said the truth there. I don't know anything about betting, so I don't know what your mind's going through. Right. And so, right, but guess what? I'm gonna love you and respect you no matter what.

I appreciate it. I appreciate it, there you go. I'm gonna start using that. When I lose, when I bet Florida plus 14 and a half, and I lose that and feel like such an idiot when Georgia just starts rolling over them, and be like, you know what? I'm gonna love and respect myself.

That last two minutes of the first half? Oh my God, that was unbelievable. I actually, it was so bad for me because I went up, I went up to do something with my son and I came back down and I was like, wait, what's the score? I completely missed like, it happened that fast too. It was 3-3.

It was, oh, brutal, brutal. It's unbelievable. I gotta imagine that writing the book was a little cathartic for you. It gave you an opportunity to put your feelings down on paper, but then doing a book tour around your book, that's almost like a different type of excuse for you to get all this stuff out in public.

It's different to say it out loud than it is to write it down on a piece of paper. Has it been, do you feel better? Do you feel lighter about yourself? That you're able to talk about it so freely doing these press interviews? And is that something that you notice that you feel different after you've written the book

and after your story is kind of out there? No, I'm scared to death to come on these shows and talk about it, but I mean, I'm free talking about it and writing it down. Yes, I feel 100% free because I have nothing to hide. I have nothing to hide from you or anybody else out there. And first of all, I gotta be a man and talk to my wife and explain to her what I'm going through

and get her to help me and her still love me. And so, yeah, I mean, now talking about it, now it's a different role. Now the role is to help somebody else. I can help one other person that's listening. That would be amazing. That'd be a dream come true. And so for me, I've already had my help

and I'm gonna have, now I'm able to catch, hopefully able to catch it next time I start going down the black hole and hopefully I catch it. And so we don't have another dark day or the darkest day or a new dark day. And so yeah, my whole goal now is to talk about it, to put it out there so that I can try

to help one other person. It's great too because there's definitely been a shift in the culture where athletes have felt like they can talk about these things a lot more. And I think it's really important because we always look up to athletes of being those are the mentally toughest people in the world. They got no problems, they're rich, they're famous,

they're awesome. And it's great to see these moments in this book being like, hey, I'm a human too and showing that vulnerability. Yeah, for sure. But you know, I think that the athlete, the athlete right now our celebrity, however you want to word it, has the platform.

The police officer, the fireman, the military man and woman, the teachers, teachers are going through a lot, doctors, nurses. I mean, we can look here and point at fingers all the day. They don't have the platform. So right now athletes are so-called celebrities or the platform. And the more we talk about it,

the more we're gonna do something about it as a whole. Doctors and scientists are gonna start looking at how they can help that around the world. And it might be as simple as just hugging people. You know what I'm saying? I mean, we miss that. Like now it's like weird, even the handshake, you're like, am I allowed to handshake?

It's being nice to someone. Right, and so that's where we all want to be loved. And I think now we're missing that. And I think that athletes are just helping us get to the point where we are free to talk about it and we don't judge anybody on it. And then hopefully we'll help the people that are truly, you know, helping our youth grow up.

Yeah, well, so everyone go check out the book up and down, like I said. So you've done a ton of interviews. You were on, what, Good Morning America this morning? Or today's show. You're doing serious. You've done a million interviews. We pride ourselves on doing interviews

a little bit different. So hopefully you don't have to feel nervous about only talking about the book. So I had a few different questions. This is different. We got a weight room over here. Yeah, it's very, it's a mess in here. We got Jordans all around.

We got sunglasses on. Exactly, it's weird. It's very different. First of all, how much do you bench? I saw you eyeing that thing earlier. Don't bench that much. I'm a little less than that. Okay.

Yeah, me and Brooks are about the same. Brooks, he's probably about, you know, what is he about, 95? So we're about, I'm right at 92 or so. All right, so my first question that you probably didn't get asked on the today's show. Have you ever felt like you're a little bit of a fraud with the nickname Bubba because you're skinny?

Ha, oh man, fraud. I mean, Bubba's are kind of big guys, right? Well, see, that's judging again. That's what we're just talking about. We're just talking about it. We're just talking about it. About the time you looked at the scale and it was right. Exactly, it's a sensitive subject.

Yeah, that is. Let me answer this though. Let me answer this though. So when I was born, I was chubby. And so my parents, my mom said, I look like a football player and I know him from police academy, but Bubba Smith was coming through.

He was playing ball in 78 when I was born. And so I know him from police academy, but Bubba Smith, so he was the guy at the time, right? And so they, my mom said, oh, we got a Bubba. And so it just stuck. Ever since that 30 seconds, I first came out of the womb. It might be the best nickname that you can have. Like when you think of like the list of nicknames,

Bubba is such a great nickname. I mean, do you know how many people would make fun of me if I went with Gary Lester? Yeah, we were talking about that earlier. I was gonna ask you about the nickname and then I saw your full name and I was like, well, it's pretty obvious why it goes by Bubba. Yeah, Bubba is a cool name.

Yeah, it seemed tough with Bubba. Yeah, his name's Liam and we just decided to call him Bubba because we're like every crew should use a Bubba. Right, everybody needs one. Yeah, like having a Bubba around makes your life better. It just makes you seem tougher. Yeah, it also makes you seem friendly. Like you can't be mad at Bubba.

That's just Bubba. No, that's Bubba. Yeah, it's just Bubba being Bubba. You call a Bubba, Bubba will just hang. Bubba will watch the dogs on a Saturday and just hang. Exactly. That's a Bubba. How often are you in a room with another Bubba?

Oh man, in a room with another Bubba? Yeah, this is probably the first time in a long time. Really? Yeah, I did the Rick and Bubba show a couple days ago. We did the podcast, but yeah, they're from Birmingham, Alabama. I feel like it's a Highlander situation. There can only be one in any room.

So like maybe while you're in here, or should we call you Jerry? Should we call Liam, Liam? Yeah. We'll call you Liam. We'll give you the honor of being the only Bubba in the room for right now. I mean, you know how I'd have to write more books

if everybody called me Gary Lester. I know. I'd be at the whole different, it's a whole different mind level. You don't have to say who's Lester. Gary Lester doesn't win the Masters, just say it right now. Exactly.

It does not. Gary Lester wins the Masters in 1965. Yes, yes, but not in 2012. Yeah, you tell your grandkids, I saw Gary Lester booing 17. I have a very important question for you. This might be the most important question you've ever been asked.

Oh man. When did you decide to become a top button guy? Oh, top button guy, that's easy. Since the day I started wearing buttons, gosh, I wore knickers till I was 13. Shot 62 when I was 13, so I canceled those while my grandma was making them for me. And then the top button,

when my hairy chest started coming out. And so I tried to hide it. You know, I keep that werewolf in there. You know, I don't want anybody to see that. So I just try to be polite. Same thing when I go in a pool, you know, I put on a long-sleeved T-shirt, you know, make sure everybody doesn't see that hair flowing everywhere.

Although I think that'd be kind of intimidating though. If you're playing in match play against somebody, back nine, you take the three buttons down. You take it down all the way and you let the taco meet out. You let the other guy see it. That would be intimidating for me as a golfer. Yeah, true, but you know, my wife is 17 years.

I don't want her to think I'm getting uglier. So I gotta try to hide that, you know? Yeah, cover it up. I like that. I like that. You also, you're kind of a man after my heart because you bought an ice cream store? Yeah, started one.

And you run it, operate it? Oh yeah. I love that. I love ice cream so much. I mean, there's, you got a couple options in this world and you could either go alcohol or you could go sugar. And I went with sugar. That's whenever, like I'm not a huge drinker

and I'm always, I mean, I used to, but now not as much. And it's like, why not just eat my calories? You know what I mean? Why not just see, instead of drinking them, I'll have a pint of ice cream on a Friday night. Right, and you feel like you could have two pints and you know, and nothing changes. Yes.

All right, so we're one and the same in that respect. But you still feel bad the next morning. Yeah, of course, always. Oh, I feel bad while I'm doing it. The hangover might be worse for my ice cream, honestly. Like you're a disgusting piece of shit. You're just eating this pint of ice cream. And then you watch it down with Doritos, it's perfect.

So wait, so what's, what is it, how does running an ice cream store, like is it, is it difficult? I mean, I would imagine ice cream just sells itself, especially in Florida. Exactly, you haven't seen any commercials about the ice cream shop. Yeah, right, that's true.

They don't, they're never like, hey, ice cream needs a bounce back. It's recession proof. Yeah, exactly. So we have the, we make the fudges in-house right there, hand-dipped chocolates, and then we have the ice cream, and then we have the old school candies that most kids don't even know about today.

Oh. Oh yeah. Check it out. What's your favorite flavor? Birthday cake. Yes. Oh, that's a great choice. People sleep on it.

I always keep birthday cake, ice cream there, just in case I show up. And then birthday cake fudge is always on hand, just in case. Damn, I love how birthday cake, people don't order birthday cake ice cream that much, but it's really the perfect dessert. You're taking another great dessert

and turning it into a different dessert, which is somehow better than the original. And it makes you feel like it's your birthday all the time. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, it's a good day. And it is your birthday. Yeah, on Friday. On Friday.

Yes, happy birthday. And so that, I saw that, and then I also saw in an interview that you said you don't like to work out and you like to sleep a lot instead. Oh, for sure. You are, we're best friends. Just for the record though,

okay, we're not friends anymore because I started working out. Oh, why, you betrayed us. Yeah, exactly. I'm getting older, fast. Yeah. And so I'm trying to, you know, when I see Brooks and Bryson

and all these young guys working out, I'm like, dang it, man, I guess I gotta start. So explain that though, because obviously the tour has kind of changed a little bit. There's been evolutions, Tiger dominated for a very long time. This new crop is exceptional golfers. Everyone's looking like they're real athletes.

It used to be a day in age when golfers weren't considered real athletes because they didn't work out the way that Tiger worked out now, the guys do now. But you always have been able to hit the ball long. What is that? You don't have to be a muscle freak to be great at golf. For sure, no, because I'm definitely not a muscle freak.

And so I won a couple of big tournaments. But for me, it's stretching my arms. It's using my width of my swing to make clubhead speed. And some other guys are using muscle to create the speed. I'm using the width of my arc to create the clubhead speed. And the bigger the arc, the more the clubhead can speed up at impact. And so that's what I've been doing.

Now that I'm working out, my working out now is just so I can run with my kids as they play sports as I get older, making sure my body stays healthy. Forget golf, just in general, life in general, is where I started working out for. So you're about to hit that. You do have the wingspan.

Your wingspan is, it's probably abnormally wide, even for a guy of your height. Again, there's that, gosh, man, I got to have a counseling session after this. Well, no, no, I'm saying like- Abnormally. But it's- Your freak show is good.

Yeah. You're like the Dwight Howard of the PGA. You do all these awesome interviews and you come in like, how are you such a freak? No, it's interesting because like, that's how you generate all your speed is with your wingspan, right? Yeah, for sure.

So when you stretch your arms out, are you saying that you actually, you try to make your arms longer and can you tell, when you're just walking around, you're like, my arms are feeling really long today. So yeah, I mean, my nickname, it's actually in college, my nickname was a freak show

because of the shots I could hit. And then people started calling me the Rangutan because how hairy I am in my long arms. So yeah, I mean, anything else you want to call me? So no, when you think about it, yeah, I'm letting my arms naturally break down. So when I take the club back, my arm straight, and then it naturally breaks down,

it has to or I can't make the swing. So that's literally what I'm doing is trying to use my arms, keep them straight as possible, make the bigger arc. So yeah, you're right. I mean, to a sense. And anybody listening, like you probably get the sense that,

you know, we're calling them all these names. You're a very normal looking guy. You're a good looking guy. But if you're listening right now, you're like, who are they interviewing right now? Well, it's just, I mean, it's exceptional because like I said, today's, you know, PGA, there are guys who are clearly working out a ton

to try to get the, hit the ball very, very long. You've finished many years as the longest, you know, from the T box and I've always been impressed by that. And it's like, it's not, from, from afar, it's not like you're doing something exceptional. Clearly you are exceptional. So it's, it's always interesting to watch when you watch a golfer who like maybe isn't like tiger,

you, when you watch tiger, especially when he was working out, you're like, whoa, he's a specimen. You know what I mean? When Bryson is doing it, he's clearly doing some things. You got up there, you hit the ball a mile and you did it looking like a somewhat normal guy.

Right. And again, it's all technique. You know, there's different techniques out there. I don't know how much I'll know about golf, but JB Holmes, JB Holmes is from Kentucky and he's like country strong. And he comes down with a short swing, Tony Finau the same way, very short swing, very compact, but it's a lot of power in there.

Even though he might not look like it, like DJ DJs. He's very physically fit and athletic, but he doesn't look muscular overall. And so people have different techniques to create the power and mind just having to be without muscles. Yeah, yeah. You're being you though.

That's the thing. Yeah, for sure. You could try to be somebody else stay, like steer away from what you're naturally good at and how you feel the game out yourself, but you're just trying, you're trying to be the best Bubba that you can be. 100% and try not a three putt.

Yeah, yeah, that would be nice. I saw that you moved into Tiger Woods' old house. Yeah, a couple years. Not anymore, but yes, back in the day. Back in the day. So you bought that, did you buy it directly from Tiger? Or maybe. So what was, what was that like?

What was the weirdest thing? Cause every time you move into a new house, you find something or there's a weird setup. Did he have like a red room down in the basement? In Florida, we don't have basements by the way. The water would come in, but so the weirdest thing, you know, we closed on the house.

I won the Masters in 2012, yeah, 2012 I won the Masters. And then the US Open was my, the next major back then. And it was me, Phil Mickelson and Tiger Woods. And we closed on his house or my new house. That same week that we all played together, well, I think it was an Olympic, Olympic club in California. So yeah, that's when we closed,

but obviously we're playing golf. We didn't talk about it, but I showed him the pictures. I changed the house, 95% of the house I changed and put it, you know, made it mine instead of his, but so I showed him the pictures afterwards, but yeah. Did he like what you did with it? Or was he like, why'd you,

why'd you get rid of my, you know, special training room that I have that I play Call of Duty in and practice sniping? That's sad that you know that we all have those rooms. Yeah, I know that he's definitely got a gaming room, right? Oh man, who does? I have a gaming room, that's phenomenal. Yeah. But yeah, so yeah, I changed it, showed him

how I did things and how I, my vision of how, you know, I wanted the house set up. But yeah, I thought he liked it. Was there, did it occur to you when you were playing golf with him like, hey, if I hold this putt on 18, why don't you knock $100,000 off the price? No, I never did because, you know, again,

the story, the reason why I bought it is, you know, there was, we adopted my son and I needed a house in Florida. He couldn't leave the state of Florida for a while. And so we were in Arizona at the time. So I started house shopping in Isleworth and his popped up. And so I was like, hey, man, but privately, I mean, not popped up on like Zillow, you know, but it popped up.

So we, Wait, there's like a different, there's a different app that you use if you're buying high. It's like the Raya of real estate. No. Y'all haven't got that market yet? I haven't got invited to that app just yet. You'll get there. I wanted to talk about the masters.

So you have two masters, titles 2012 and 2014. 2014, you won, you know, a little bit easier. You won by a few strokes. 2012, your first one, you won in a playoff. What, like, that has to be the most intense pressure cooker situation to trying to break through for your first major victory and you go to a playoff. Like, were you just, were you going crazy internally?

Were you, were you kind of losing it? Like, Holy shit, this will change my life. Or were you able to stay like, you know, even keel and, and do the thing. So I birdied, let's let, before we got in the playoff, let's start it back. I birdied, I bogey, I bogey 12. I was just off the green.

I counted as a three putt, even though it wasn't a three putt statistically, but then I birdied 13, 14, 15, 16. So now I'm tied for the lead. And I remember talking to Ted Scott, we're walking to my caddy and we were walking to the 17th. We come around the bunker and walk up to 17T. And I said, oh my gosh, we're tied for the lead. He goes, yeah.

I said, we have a chance to win the Masters. And he goes, yeah. He goes, hit me a good tee shot. I sliced it so far to the left. I was like, oh my gosh. And then when I'm walking to the ball, I'm thinking about it in my head is that, that we got a chance.

Just calm down. I don't think he had the best of shots either. I can't remember where he hit it, but, you know, if we have a lucky break or whatever in the trees or whatever it is. So I hit it on the green. We, now, you know, we make a couple of pars. He makes a par, I make a par.

First playoff hole, we make pars. And now on number 10, I hit a hook, or I pulled it, my tee shot. So I'm in the trees. And then he hits this little flare, three wood. But walking down there, I'm like, oh my, and if you watch the coverage, you can see my shoulders drop after the tee shot.

Now I'm like, I'm like, oh. Because 2010, I lost to Martin Kimer at Whistling Straits, the PGA Championship. So I was like, oh my gosh, my one chance to win a major, I blow it. Now, here's the Masters, I hook it. I'm like, oh my gosh, my second chance. In a playoff, I'm blowing it.

But then when, you know, things happen, right? The wind's blowing the right way. I hit this amazing hook shot and hit it up there. You know, give or take 15 feet and two putt for the victory. But at that moment, it was like the highest moment, I birdied four in a row. And then I was like, oh my gosh, I have a chance to win.

So my mind changed, right? My mindset was instead of focusing on just hitting every shot, I started focusing, I have a chance to win. And then I choked on myself and sliced it. And then I thought I blew it again on number 10. And so yeah, I mean, you have these, it's kind of like the book, The Ups and Downs. Yeah, it's crazy.

Now, in 2014, it's always fascinates me when a golfer gets to the 18th hole and they've got it in the bag, right? Like they've got it. The only thing that can happen is catastrophic disaster. We actually, I don't know if you know this, but a lot of times like casual golf fans will play the game of like, how far would we have to be up

to not blow this? Like if we were up 10 strokes on the 18th hole in Augusta, could I find a way to get it in the hole and win the Masters? So is that, do you feel pressure when you're on the 18th and you're what, up three strokes? You're like, okay, I got this. I just, there's pretty much nothing I can do to screw this up.

That's a totally different type of pressure, but it's gotta feel in a weird way almost just as extreme because you know, the chance of a collapse here is like, that would be all time. Yeah, so you know, as a kid, you always dream of making the putt to win the Masters or making the putt or throwing a touchdown pass or whatever that dream is. And I dreamed of one day winning by so much at any tournament

I was just gonna high five everybody down the fairway. Yes. So now I'm winning by three. I hit this beautiful three wood right down the middle, hit this nine iron to about, you know, a little cut nine iron to about 12 feet. I'm winning by three. And I was like, nope.

And I kept my head down because I was like, would you rather be the winner or would you rather be that guy they talked about? And so I was like, don't high five anybody. You keep your head down. And I'll remember Ted Scott was right next to me and on the green and I said, hey, I can fore putt, right? And he goes, yes.

I said, are you sure? Like look at the board. I didn't want to look at the board. So I said, look at the board again. He said, yes, you can fore putt. I said, are you sure? Like we're acting like we're looking at the putt. And I'm like, I'm like, I'm talking to him.

Not about which way it breaks. I'm like, I can fore putt, right? And he said, yes. So I hit it so easy. I mean, it stopped a couple inches short and I tapped it in. You didn't ask him like, hey, can I can three putt? I can three putt. Well, I went that one real fast.

So I make sure I hit it good. But so I tapped it in and then my son walks out and I remember picking my son up. He wasn't there the first masters and now he's there. And so he walks out on the green, I pick him up and then I went down to the front of the green and because he was in my right hand, a high five all the way down on my left.

I went all the way down to the front of the green, high five went down the crowd to the scoring area and high five all the way. And because I remember that moment as a kid and so I wanted to do it. Now that my son was in my arms and I've already won, I could go ahead and so I tried. I did partly, but yeah, for the first part

I was scared to death. I appreciate that though, because I think that it's, you know, when we're watching a tournament, a major tournament and you have a guy who's up a lot, I expect them to have that type of like feeling like, oh man, like even though I have it, can I fore putt this? So, you know, if going back, I know that's what you want to do.

So going back in 12, I putted it to what? Eight inches past the hole. And so I, if you noticed, if you remember the footage or seen the footage, I told everybody to quiet down because the week before that, there was a girl in the LPGA tour that had a one and a half foot putt to win her first major. She missed it and then she lost in a playoff.

So in my head, in this playoff now on 12, I was like, don't be the guy that misses this. You tap it, take your time, tap it in. So I did that. And then when I was now flashback to 14, I was like, okay, you're winning by three. Keep your head down, finish the tournament, finish the tournament.

Because I didn't, again, I didn't want to be taught, I'd rather be talked about slow play than I would lose in the golf tournament. Absolutely. Speaking of the crowds, if you hit a shot, like you said, the slice that you hit, I think you hit it off left on that hole after, was it, were you tied at the time?

I was tied going into 17. You hit a shot like that and then the gallery crowds around your shot, right? Every time I see that on TV, I'm always nervous for the golfer that like, hey, these guys are too close to where the ball's gonna be flying. Does it, does it not even like creep into your brain?

Like this person is, the angle that they gave me is way too narrow. I'm afraid I'm just gonna dome somebody with my next shot. Yes, for sure. It goes back to the playoff in 2010. Dustin Johnson, you know, he grounded his club in a bunker in a waste area sand, whatever it was.

And so he didn't make the playoff because of that penalty. So we're now going forward. Teddy, I make him go, he'll, I don't make him, but he goes up there and starts backing everybody up so I can see the shot, get everybody away. Cause I don't want to feel too tight when I'm swinging my club, when they're a little close to me.

Now the Masters is a different ball game. You know, they have people that dictate where fans can go and patrons can go. So that's, that's different now in a regular tournament, you know, the crowds, the crowds are tighter and all these things. But yeah, so Teddy would go up and he would make sure the crowd's backed up.

Cause I don't, you know, I want to be able to see the shot. I like how you corrected yourself though, the patrons. It's very important. Yes, I've learned that before. All right, so you got to do foreplay in a second here. I got one last question. It's the Roback question.

Go to roback.com, use code PFT for 20% off your first purchase. Roback.com slash PFT for 20% off your first purchase. Best performance, zips, hoodies. They've got golf shirts, everything. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com code PFT. All right, my last question. Are you ready to guarantee the Georgia Bulldogs win the national championship?

Yeah, I'm already checking out my ring size. Oh, okay. Like they're going to give me a national championship. Why not? I wonder how much, what do you think the money is after donate to get a national championship? I think you already get one. Cause every time they do college game day,

you're like ready to go. So I, you, you, I think you get one, but we need a headline. Bubba Watson declares Georgia Bulldogs to win the national championship. How about this? I'll declare they're going to be in the SEC championship. All right.

That's not easy. Okay. Good one. Way to go out on a limb. There you go. Also, are you going to play the masters till you're like 90? Cause I love when guys do that.

Like Freddie couples still playing. I love that. Freddie couples has back problems, but except that week. Yeah. I love it. I love Freddie couples. I would do the same thing. Like, oh, I can play, I won.

I can play for the rest of my life. Yeah. You'll see me when I'm 95. Until I get that piece of paper that says, Bubba, you're just little, your golf game sucks. Until you injure a patron. Right. Well, I've done that many times. Let's don't, that should be out there.

But no, they're going to have to tell me, Bubba, you suck at golf. Yeah. I would just show up for the cheap cheese sandwich is free dinner on Thursday night. But the part three though, the part three. Oh my gosh. That would be to do that.

And especially have my kids catty for me. Yes. As I get older, you know, where they have to help me to three bucks. I love it. That'd be awesome. I love it. Well, this was awesome, man.

We really appreciate it. Everyone go check out his book. It's called Up and Down, Victories and Struggles in the Course of Life, Bubba Watson, Master Champion. Thank you so much. Man, thank you all, man. Thanks for having me. Also, Brooks or Bryson.

Oh my gosh, man. Brooks, he all dressed. There we go. Let's go. You know what? But there's a reason. There's a reason why though. Because he's cool.

Well, there's a different reason. Because the other guy's Bryson. Yeah. No, because Brooks puts on this thing where he thinks he's a Superman. But he is such a teddy bear. Yes, he is. Behind the scenes.

He's a beautiful man. Exactly. That's why I love him for that. Good answer. Thank you, Bubba. Yeah, thanks. Our little roast sash here with Chaps is going to be brought to you by our good friends

here at Barstool Bites. We love Barstool Bites. Barstool Bites is a brand new delivery app where you can get free delivery exclusively for the next 30 days only. Barstool Bites is officially here. We've joined forces with two leading edge industry icons. They partnered with us to launch Barstool Bites

at Delivery and Pickup Only restaurant, available now in select cities nationwide. Barstool Bites will bring a specially crafted menu inspired and named after Barstool Sports' unique personalities. Thanks to acclaimed chef Eric Greenspan. Very cool guy, by the way. Got to hang out with them Rutgers the other week. You can look forward to an amazing assortment

of dishes ranging from game time favorites, must-have munchies, and anything in between. All named after people here at Barstool. We got Dana Beers Buffalo Chicken Dip, KFC's Skinny Fat Wing Collection, Glenny Ball's Long Island Sliders. That's a must eat. Glenny Ball's Long Island Sliders.

Try them, thank me later. Much, much more. We got the part in my biggies here. We got some biggie sandwiches. Yup. These are some sandwiches. I'm gonna open it up right now. My personal favorite, while you open that,

the White Sox Dave Big Game Tender Bucket. There you go. Incredible. My favorite. White Sox Dave Big Game Tender Bucket. Here, here, Billy. You know how you can tell sometimes when you just pick up a sandwich

that it's gonna be delicious? It's got the weight. Without even looking at it. This sandwich is gonna be delicious. So it has mot sticks in this one. We got some, it's like one of those big sandwiches that you see down in New Jersey a lot here. I'm gonna take a bite.

You can tell it's gonna sound delicious. Oh, all right, I'm watching. PFT just took that bite. It's delicious. It's delicious. It looks delicious. We got some Lou Williams Tenders over here. The barbecue, lemon, pepper, special combination.

Oh, and he's eating. He's eating, folks. They got everything. Everything at Barstool Bites. Go check it out right now. It's really good. It's incredible. Go to the Apple Store, it's on Google Play.

Download the app right now. The Barstool Bites proprietary app available for download right now. You can go to barstoolbites.com. Go to barstoolbites.com. Download that app today. Check delivery or pickup options near you. Get free delivery exclusively for the next 30 days only.

Love it. So yeah, check it out. Awesome thing that we're doing Barstool Bites. Taking over the world in terms of food delivery. So check it out. All right. Our beautiful, wonderful, great colleague, Uncle Chaps is here.

The greatest reader of all time. That's right. Zero blog 30, go download it right now. You can also hear him on Podfathers. You can also hear him blogging about the Jaguars. Things aren't going well. I actually had two real quick questions. No, I need to talk to you.

I need to talk to you first. All right, but let me ask my question first. What? Okay, in three sentences or less, explain why we got out of Afghanistan. We were losing. I was just kidding. I don't have to do that.

It wasn't going great. Okay. Cost a lot of money. Got it. Okay. That was actually really good. I was doing that as a joke, but you nailed it. Thank you.

All right. Now what's your problem with me? I called you the other day one. You've broke the rules of our call game. Can I tell you what I was? Yeah. All right. So you called me at like 10 a.m. on Monday for once

in the football season. I actually listened to my own body and went back to sleep after I dropped my son off to school for an hour nap to try to restore my health. Didn't do a lot, but I was sleeping. That's why I missed your call. That was the only excuse I was going to let you out with. I literally dropped him off at nine and then I went,

I got, I was like, I know they stayed up late recording. It was Sunday night. They're probably doing whoop, whoop. No, that's not really late. Exactly. We whooped till two in the morning. You guys were whooping all over the place.

So that was it. I wanted to talk to you. I don't remember what was actually said on the, on the show, but I remember PFT said something very ugly about the Jags. Yeah, I don't know. That doesn't sound like us. And you giggled like a hard, real giggle.

I think he said, just move the Jags to England. I said, you did a giggle. And I was like, this motherfucker. Oh man. And I had to call you. I tried to call you about it because I thought it was just, it was beyond rude. Okay.

I think it was that stat that the, that the, that Chaps's Jaguars are three and 14 on the West coast, but that's actually a massive improvement over their normal record. Yeah. And then big cat laid out the, yeah.

The Jersey Jury. There was a key to giggle though. Yeah. I've got a very serious question for you because Chaps, massive Astros fan, big Texas baseball fan, the Braves are playing the Astros game six tonight. So this could be it.

It's already happened. It's already happened by the time you're listening. Are you a coward for not shaving your beard, for not getting creamed by Boris, like last time you were in the World Series? Well, last time I got. You got creamed after game six. Would you like to get creamed?

I got creamed and then the Astros got creamed. Yeah. So maybe I go the other way and don't shave and see if they can pull off the comeback. I feel like you have to defeat the cream. You have to, you have to go back. You have to get back on that horse and try your hand again. If the Astros lose the World Series, you get creamed.

No. If the Astros win the World Series, you get creamed. Well, I was, I made it a little announcement that because I grew up a Braves fan because I'm from Florida and I think it's just the right of passage you had to, like being from Florida and then switching in 2018 to be an Astros fan because my kid lives closer to Houston. I want to take them to games and things like that.

I've, I'm renouncing baseball for two years. That's fair. You're sitting this one out. Yeah. That's actually the right thing to do. Because I don't feel like I could celebrate either way. I don't feel like I could be upset that the Braves won because my Nana, rest in peace,

like she would have wanted that to happen. Oh, so you, okay. So I can't. But she's not here with us anymore. I can't run against the ghost of my grandmother. Right. Who would have been very happy and she's going to want to watch it from heaven.

Right. I can't do that. And I'm not going to take any satisfaction. Yes. Why would you say that? I was just asking. Why would you say it? That was a question.

She's lovely. That was a question. She confirmed heaven. Very loyal. Confirmed heaven. Very confirmed. 100% confirmed. Super heaven.

You put your, you put your journalistic integrity on Nana being in heaven. I put my balls on the line. Whoa. Mm-hmm. Ball back. You castrated. Do you think that ghost can hear us talk right now?

Second. You think ghosts can hear us talk right now? Absolutely. You think Nana would know if you root against the Braves? Yes. I definitely think she would. Shout out to Nana. She's doing the chop up in heaven.

I mean, there'd be times where I didn't talk to her for like six months. And she would call me occasionally and being like, I don't feel like you're being a good boy. That's good. She's definitely in heaven. And she was right. Yeah.

Nana, subscribe to the podcast. Yes. From heaven. Long time, Stoley. Oh, big time. Let's do quick by brick later. Quick list of top three Stoolys that might have passed away in the last couple of years.

Prince Philip, number one. I wouldn't, no. Oh, okay. He was one of those. He would do like asterisk bar stool, like. Oh, really? Not my bar stool. Yeah, not my bar stool.

No, but he would also be like, I hate bar stool, but I love the pizza reviews. I have to watch all of them. See, I think Prince Philip was Milton Tuff. No. He probably was like, they sold out when they moved to New York. Maybe.

Yeah. Maybe. He seemed like one of those old school, like. Newspaper guy. But once it went from the newspaper, he was like, I don't want any of that new fangled digital stuff. Yeah, he was one of those guys who was like,

I missed the bar stool when we had one video every three months. If Hank's not on the damn wall with duct tape, I don't want it. He's a big, like. That's a Prince Philip. That was your Prince Philip. That's what he sounds like.

He's a Prince Philip. I'm Prince Philip. He reads all the Jerry Thornton blogs, though. Yeah, he's a sex teacher. He's a big sex-stable teacher guy. All right, so who else have we lost? This was a huge stoolie. Kobe.

A huge stoolie. Huge stoolie. Yep. AWL, everything. He had it. I think he had. Kobe probably led the league in Saturdays for the boy's shirts purchased.

Oh, easily. Yeah. Easily. He's probably paid for Final Bricks kids to go to college. There's no doubt about that. Yes. Trying to think who else have we lost. Oh, HW.

Oh, Ed Astor. HW was a huge stoolie. Love the socks. He had the Larry the Goldfish socks he used to wear. When he'd be like, baseball. Yeah, that was my favorite clip of him on the field. And he realizes in the moment that he's on a baseball. But really, what can you do in that moment?

If you're at HW, I mean, think about his career. Like, he was the head of the CIA. He did all kinds. He was in the vice president. He was president. The most accomplished politician you could say in the history of the United States, except for that second election that he lost.

But I would say. And when he puked on the Japanese dictator or whatever, not dictator president. No, it was a fart, wasn't it? No, he puked on him. He puked. He got through poisoning on the premiere of Japan. Yeah, it was tough.

Did he also, did he get shot down a few times? Oh yeah. Yeah, he got shot down. And then his letters that he wrote to Barb's just absolutely. Oh, Barb's also Barb's big chicks in the office. Yeah, huge stoolie. Huge stoolie. She's called her daddy.

She actually likes tea with publicity. Yes, whoa, did. She's Barbara Bush's past, right? Oh, I thought you said publicity is past. No, no, she's still, I just saw her today. I was gonna be Bob Dole. Speaking of Bob Dole, still live, speaking of former president, still live, Jimmy Carter, if we lose him,

I would imagine our, our page views will go down. Are you ready for a Jimmy Carter? Fun fact. Okay, yes. When I started doing long time toolie stuff, which I'm starting back up, by the way. Hell yes. I finally set my shop up.

I got a book in the mail from Jimmy Carter. No. Two chaps, keep it up, bud. That's great. So he actually is a stoolie. He actually, well, I think it's like his great-grandson or something like that. That still counts.

It's in my shop sitting there from old Jimmy. Wow. Jimmy, big fan of Smoke Show of the day. Wow. Yeah. Fuck yeah, guess that ass, Jimmy Carter. You're like, I know that ass. Barb's.

Jimmy Carter's the rare American where people are like, even if they absolutely hate him as a politician, they're like, I have to admit he's pretty cool because if you spend 40 years of your life just volunteering to build houses for homeless people, nobody can say anything about you anymore. You're a good person. Yeah, I think Jimmy Carter needs a TikTok, too.

Like standing on one of those roofs with his gross yellow toenails being like, I understood the assignment. I have a serious question for you, though. So you're sitting right next to, I think technically your superior, Billy Football. I believe he outranks you now, since he's still of eligible age

to serve in the United States military. What do you think about Billy's outfits recently? I like him. I think he looks very nice. No, but when he wears the camo and in the airport exclusively. Yeah, it gets upgraded first class because he's a smart move.

That's a smart move. That's a smart move. Oh, so you're okay with that? And I actually like it. I think more people who aren't in the military need to start wearing camouflage that helps the military members with OPSEC. Like anti-terrorism awareness

where you're just throwing people off the scent. They don't know which one is the troop and which one isn't. Oh, okay. And also it's probably nice. Like if you just got out of the military and you're still making that transition to civilian life, if you have a lot of people around you that wear little hints, little pieces of flare of camouflage.

Yeah, it's absolutely, you can acclimate. Yeah, yeah. Last thing before we get to the roast, salute the troops month in the NFL. That's gotta feel special. Oh, God, it feels so good. Like to finally... They're making the football about you.

To have like a backwards American flag on the sleeve of a hoodie just feels so good. Yeah. Actually, the Jaguar shouldn't be allowed to salute the troops. No. I feel like that's demoralizing for the troops. They give an FU to the troops, specifically you, by being bad. You have to remember it's gotta be done, right?

I actually think that the Jags should, and this is something I hadn't thought about, I wouldn't mind seeing the Jags have to wear red jerseys when they go play in England. They're like the Redcoats. Yeah, yes, yes. Well, they will eventually be the home team. Don't you dare.

England. Trevor Lawrence is good. Who do you want for your next coach? He is good. Not Urban. I was all in on Urban. You guys know. I was tweeting.

I was positive about Urban. Two 12 men on the field in a row. And there was also two on offense that you guys didn't talk about. They had to do a timeout because one happened on offense as well. And one of them, they had 12 men on the field after halftime. The first possession after halftime. How does that happen?

It's Urban Meyer. Urban Meyer. What did you think about his video though? Did we in the media turn it into a big thing when in reality, it's just him getting some strange on with his knuckles? Well, there's two schools of thought on Buttfinger and really. And first up, it didn't go inside the denim. Correct.

Whenever you, if you really zoom in, the denim never dents. Right. So it was more like a brushing. It was a gray. It was a fly by. It was kind of the foreplay at the bar like, hey, do you like this? If you like this, there's more knuckles where this came from.

It's like when you're in or like middle school and you're trying to hold hands for the first time and you're like brushing up against somewhere. Yeah. Like their finger touches your finger a little bit. And then you like go with the one. Like, are we going to interlock one little pinkie? Yeah.

Whose leg? Like, oh, did that leg just brush up on mine? Does she long actually touching it her leg and her hand? Does she know? Is it OK? It was. That's kind of what everybody was doing. If he grazed it.

It's so thrilling, right guys? No, it is. It is. The graze. And then she can lean back further into the hand if she's enjoying the knuckles that are like dancing with the butt. And then it's on her.

You give her the agency to determine how much the patriarchy a little bit. Exactly. It's actually a very, it's a good thing that Urban was doing. I am longstanding believer that like almost fucking is better than fucking. Because you can go home. And one, you didn't cheat on your wife.

So good job, Urban. We don't talk about that part. She doesn't have to get off Twitter. Yeah, too. She had 50,000 followers that are now just gone. Yeah, too. You can go home and get the late night piece of pizza and be like, man, I would have fucked.

And it would have been, I would have, I would have been awesome. Still got it. Yeah, I would have like, if I wanted to, we would have fucked for a really long time. And there's got to be something to be as old as Urban Meyer is. Like, I guess he's in his 60s, probably 50s, 60s. Sure. Somewhere around that.

Been married for like 30 years. Can you imagine the thrill of a new first kiss? Yeah, and almost fucking is, I don't want to speak out of school, but he probably jerked off to himself. Oh, he definitely been jerking off about it. That poor girl, that poor girl, though. Like, you should see his ceiling. Oh, yeah.

So just clear up, Chaps does come on his ceiling. No. Where did that come from, by the way? Because I woke up on Sunday morning and I opened up Instagram. And the part of my take account was like, just to be clear, Big Cat did not say that Chaps came on his ceiling. I was like, I missed a whole story last night. Well, I was 3-C goofing one night and decided to,

I was scrolling through TikTok. And you know, they constantly have those ads for those galaxy machines that'll put like galaxies up on your wall or on your ceiling. And so I thought, that would be awesome in my office when I'm watching football or something at night. I ordered it, it came, and immediately it looked like there was a cum blacklight on my ceiling. Like, I looked up, I was like, it looks like I blew a load all over my ceiling.

Which at 7 and a half feet ceilings. Yeah, quite a load. You've been eating some pineapple. But you did. You didn't. Did not cum. Sillactites. But it did not cum.

I was reporting that you did. You have cum ceilings. Well, I appreciate that because people like it when a girthy nut. They do enjoy that. Jimmy Carter, mostly. Oh yeah, huge. Mashed potatoes. Oh God, all right, let's do the roast.

All right, here we go. Listener roast, thank you listeners for roasting us. First up, PFT looks like a guy that sells LSD at Coachella and says, quote, no worries a lot. Those are two great compliments. I just got right there. You are no worries guy. No worries.

You put people at ease. Billy looks like Deputy Dewey from the original screen movie. The only difference is Deputy Dewey actually served his country. Oh, good one. Yup. A fake sharp, a typical JMU frat boy looking for an excuse to get a haircut. An easily triggered fake Boston cry baby, a man child who gets turned on by high school football players and Jake.

Chris Farley. That was me in the fake sharp. I'm, I'm, I don't think I'm a fake sharp. I don't think this one continues. Oh, it's, oh, sorry. I thought that was separate. Chris Farley giggled their way through interviews, but for some reason we awarded listeners, listened three times a week.

We love you guys. Oh yeah. Okay. I'm gonna suck up at the end. I'm gonna compare it to called big cat a fake sharp. He's, if anything, you're, you're a fake square. Yeah. With somebody.

I'm a terrible, terrible gambler. What? With somebody that was a fake sharp, be able to have something called the can't lose parlor. That's a good question. I don't think so. Good question. Someone who's a fake sharp also be as open about their losing. I'm not like Vegas Dave, who by the way, I still, I just got to tip my hat to him because

Vegas Dave, when he does, when he loses his like hundred unit whale play, then he'll release and be like, I actually, that was the opposite play because I knew that some of you were sharing my plays. So the hundred unit loser was actually a winner. Who's Davis Dave? No idea. Who's that? He's the guy who always likes, how do I always win?

Remember he, he like sits courtside of the Lakers. No idea. You know who he is Hank. You know who he is Billy. It sounds like I'm, I'm glad that I don't know who he is, but he'll do that. He'll do it. He dated the golfer. Yeah.

Oh yeah. Then they have like a big to do. Yeah. Yeah. He'll do a hundred unit play, like quadruple your max, you know, your bet worth or whatever. He'll lose that. And then it'll be like, that was actually a prank because so many of you were releasing my plays, that was to get you off the trail of the real winner, which was the opposite

of the loser. Got it. Genius. Also, I don't think that I'm a, I'm not a frat guy. I played rugby. It's a completely different. Totally different. Totally different.

I have a question for you guys. Have you came out as the first major sports podcast to be pro UTSA in the college football playoffs? Sure. Yeah. No, absolutely. Meet me. Is it beep beep or meet me?

It's meet me. Meet me. Oh, that's right. Michelle Beatle went to UTSA. She's probably their most famous alumni, right? Mm hmm. And Travis Scott. The only.

Yeah. I've ranked them very high many weeks. Top 10. And there's some other dude that they have on the Wikipedia page for famous alums that was like a, he was like a newscaster and, um, Amarillo. Okay. That works. I'm not on that.

I've had them top 10 multiple weeks. I've emailed the vice president of the school and be like, can I get on this Wikipedia page? They're like, no. That's a little thirsty chaps. Well, I want to be on that. What about, so do you think they might make the college football playoff? Uh, if they beat El Paso.

Yeah. I think. Rivalry game. Huge. Huge. The minors. If you go, you're going out to El Paso to face the minors, you better pack a fucking sack lunch.

Do they still play in the Almodome? You're in for an all day country ass whooping. Do they play in the Almodome? Yeah. That is the worst place in the world to watch a basketball game or football. Football. Yeah. I was giving a credit maybe to be football, but man was it bad when we went for that

basketball. Is it still the guy from Miami? That's your coach? No, that was Larry Coker. Um, but it's Jeff Trailer. The national championship. Yeah. Not just any basketball game.

San Antonio. Great to go to for the final four, the actual like venue. We, I think, I think we were in the first section, the lower bowl and we were in row like 78. You can't see anything. We were so far out far back. The only thing I know about UTSA is the saying that you can't spell nut sack without UTSA. Nice.

And that makes me love it. Yeah. That's a good saying, but you have to be proactive. You have to like pop a dot that like you have to really be rabid on there because if you go out and you say, we're going to draw our, or we're going to drag our nut sack across your face and you capitalize the UTSA in it, then you own it back, you take it back. Oh, got it. Control the narrative.

I like that. And they can't be like, oh, you can't spell nut sack. Like I already said that, dude. But that's also not an insult to tell me that I can't spell nut sack without UTSA. Yeah. Because nut sacks are valuable. They're vital to human life. Well, let's, yeah.

I mean, let's hope if Nana's not in heaven, you, you won't have. So I mean, you made that deal. The only way I would know is if I went to hell, so then I have to go to hell and get my nut sack off me. If she's sitting there at hell when you show up. Well, well, well. Look who it is. You shouldn't have put your nut sack on your mind.

I guess you were being a bad boy. A homeless lady, a diabetic round mound of donuts, a homely looking 28 year old with the athleticism of a beach wood. Whoa. A fat former D3 college football player. Oh, wow. He's not fat. He's just chubby.

Yeah. He will be fat at all. He will be. I was fat. You were? Belly. Is he at Belly football days? And Bubba, that tried to coherently put together sentences on a three day week basis.

Oh. Okay. The court cutting sellouts, a chinless 28 year old, fake Steve Irwin obsessed with high school football and a man with decent suits talked about football college or coffee and the incompetence of the Bears and the Washington football team. Okay. Yeah. By the way, Jake's suits are not, not cheap.

Yeah. No, they're not cheap. Jake. Well, how much was it? A thousand dollars worth of suits? A thousand dollars worth of suits? How many premium suits? Indochina.

Full suits plus some extra ties. Okay. Yeah. We're on a shopping spree. Huge. Yeah. Sure. PFT looks like a guy who never does his laundry even though his shirts fit like they all shrink

in the wash. That's good. That's a good one. That's a good one. I like that. This one's good too. Big Cat wears jeans to the sauna. Oh, that hurts.

Wait. Is that an insult? I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've worn jeans in the sauna. Well, no, because I don't wear shorts.

Yeah. Ever? I do. When it's hot, really, really hot. When's the last? I don't think I've ever seen you in shorts. Yeah. I'll put on some shorts.

Now that I think about it, yeah. You don't wear shorts. I feel foolish when I'm walking around. I'll wear shorts like by the beach. Shorts. Man. By the pool. Shorts.

Give it another five or six years. That's going to be peak, Dad, because you're going to be showing up to the beach in jeans. Yeah. Oh, man, what a dad. No, I would never do that. I just don't like going to work like in shorts. Okay. PFT is the kind of kid when you get pre-come, gets there first.

If Hank were a spice, he'd be a flower. Big cat. I don't get any of this. He'd be a flower, like if he was a spice, because somebody like... You know, when your chaps doesn't really know how to read. Yeah. What is a pre-come part? Could you hear that?

Because you don't have phones on. You're not real pre-come. You're not real com. You're just pre-com. Yeah. You're the pre-com of a person. You're a watered-down com. Okay.

Got it. Got it. Big cat looks like he vapes, but also uses an inhaler. That's me. I like to use an inhaler before I have sex. Oh. Everything really opened up so you can breathe good. I'd rather eat a pinecone than hang out with Billy Football.

You're a nice guy. I don't understand why people are so mean. I like Billy. He's a pathological liar. Oh. Is that true? Mm. Lie by Big Cat.

See that? He just said no. It would be fun to pick the lice out of PFT's hair and hide them under Big Cat's B Cup tits when he sits down. They're C. They're probably C. Awesome. It would make a lot of sense to shave Billy's rhino horn and use the extra bone for Hank's beta chin.

I hope. I hope Jake is having a nice day. Damn. That one was a clean sweep. That was a clean sweep. Well done. That was very good. PFT, you look like an inbred version of Chewbacca.

If I had a dollar for every donut that Big Cat ate, I would be able to buy PFT a new cardboard box to live in. PMT three guys from your hometown coming back after a year of college thinking they've lived a really full life because of their hair, mustache, and weed gave them too much attention to the human version of AIM's Smarter Child and someone who would be eliminated the first week of every season of the challenge while the one who is worth listening to never gets to speak. Oh, damn.

Who's that? I think Jake. Bubba. Oh. Bubba. Oh, well. I love it. Shout out.

Thick Cat looks like he'll refinance your mortgage for a nice rate, but get too flirty with your wife during the process. I can see that. Okay. Yeah. If you didn't do this, you would be something very creepy and horny. A lot. I have low T.

Do you? Yeah. And you'd compensate that for that at the used car lot. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. For sure. I'd probably be taking some kind of weird steroids. You see the game this weekend.

That game this weekend. Yeah, there was a guy that I worked with when I sold used cars. He wore a gun to work. Oh, I like it. He was just like open carried a pistol with him. That's business. Just patrolling the lot. That's business.

You got to let him know. It was great. Don't try any funny business. Don't try any funny business. Peacock in a little bit. I would buy a car from that guy, or else he'd shoot me. Try walking away from a negotiation with that guy. No.

And I hate it when they put like, oh, we're going to put a number down. We want to sign this, take it to the, if that guy has a gun, you sign whatever he's got. Exactly. I'll take that right now. You meet at a party who tells you about how he's been brewing craft beer in his basement for 10 straight minutes, and all you asked him was where the bathroom was. That's mean, but yeah, you do give off a Rado vibe.

Colorado vibe. Yeah. Colorado was my number one state in the power rankings that I recently did. What were the, what was two, three? Well, I only did two. But it was, that makes sense. It was Colorado and then Tennessee. Nice.

You put Colorado one over Tennessee. Yeah. Interesting. I have to agree with that. And one, because I went with ultimate state college, just based on uniforms, I look terrible in orange. Yeah. So I would go with gold.

Yeah. Black. Yeah. Colorado black. But black, I got to be careful. I don't want that to be the primary color because I got like beard dandruff and stuff. Oh, gross. You know who could fix that.

Who? A little Boris. Probably. He could cream you. You won't be able to cream him. You have no beard dandruff. All right. Is that it?

That's it. Oh man. Always great to have you on Chaps. We miss you. We miss you. When are you coming back? Hard to say. Okay.

How long are you here for? Saturday. Whoa. Yeah. I'm busy the rest of the week. Me too. Super busy. What's next for you?

Content wise. What's next? Oh, so I'm going to be, I'm bringing back long-time toolies. I finally cleaned up my shed where I can build stuff again. I'm redoing my fire pit. I'm going to be banking my fire pit and smoking a big old turkey to teach people how to do it for Thanksgiving. Love it.

I also had an electric performance inside of a stool stream stadium earlier. It was incredible. What did you do? Comes out on Thursday. Rock, paper, scissors shoot. Oh yeah. I heard that something statistically impossible happened in this match. You want to do it right now?

Just one. All right. One, two, three, shoot. One, two, three, shoot. One, two, three, shoot. Damn. Got him. Big cat after two ties.

Got him. It's the win with the paper. Damn. I was thrown off because this time I could actually see him. I like the table to keep things under wraps. Chaps, what temperature is your pool? Right now? Yeah.

Great. Ready to roll. Now, I never knew how much of a stunt that was. That is such an unbelievable monetary flex. Yeah. Yeah. I only, because in March or April was, April, and it's 85 degrees in April in San Antonio, I put my pool at 78 degrees.

I got the gas bill back. It was like $550 for one month. Him, 88 degrees, it should must be like $1,500 bucks a month. That's the source, man. That's the finest. Great. Chaps, you want to guess the numbers with us? Yes.

I was going to ask you. I was going to ask you. 97. 92. 74. 91. 74. 18.

69. Nice. 38 out of play. What was your guess, Chaps? Thank you, Jake. I got 74. 74. 14.

That was a 7. First timer. First timer. Wow. All right. How many we got left? 10. 14 left after getting 14.

Yeah, look at that. Isn't that wild? That is wild. Holy shit. All right. Thanks, Chaps. Love you. Love you, too.

Love you, guys. Love you. Love you, too. Love you, guys. Love you. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too.

Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too.

Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too.

Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too.

Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too.

Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too.

Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too. Love you, too.

Love you, too. Love you.