Pardon My Take - CFB Writer Andy Staples + Mount Rushmore Of Mistakes

Episode Date: August 31, 2018

College Football is back and the Civil Conflict was on fire. Previewing College Football Week 1 and talking about Aaron Rodgers new contract (2:20 - 13:20). Mt Rushmore of Mistakes (13:20 - 25:51). Sports Illustrated College Football Writer Andy Staples joins the show to talk about the 2018 College Football season, Power 5 Conference breakdowns, and who he has in his College Football Playoff (25:51 - 59:17). Segments include Talking Soccer, Jalen Ramsey Word Association, Thoughts and Prayers to Patrick Reed, and Explain it to Hank/Jimbos/Roast Grab Bag You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. Do you have the talking soccer? Yeah. Is that Yahoo Sports Sound? Oh, fuck, someone took John out right before me. Fuck! Should I take Larry Fitzgerald?

No! Who else is on there? He's sold. Stefan Diggs. Stefan Diggs is gonna be good. Who else? Who else? Who else? Who else? Zach Harris, Demarius, Thomas. Golden Tate. Golden Tate's not bad.

Maric Cooper, Josh Harris. Demarius, Demarius, how would I take Demarius? Yeah, take Demarius. KSK and I'm just gonna throw him a shitload of touchdown passes. What about Stefan Diggs? That's not bad. Stefan Diggs, Demarius. I like, uh, you can't go wrong.

No, Demarius is gonna split him with Thelan, so go with Demarius. All right. Did you take Demarius? Mm-hmm. All right, on today's part of my take, we have, uh, SI writer Andy Staples. We're doing college football preview. We have, uh, our college football preview. What else we got?

I got distracted because Northwestern just did something and White Sox Dave is out there just going crazy. We're gonna do our college football preview. Mm-hmm. Uh, we've got a PR 101, or explain it to Hank for Michael Kendricks. Yes. Um, we've got Talking Soccer with Donald Trump. Yep. We've got just a whole bunch of Grab Bag Friday stuff, and a very solid Mount Rushmore coming up.

The Mount Rushmore of mistakes. Finale, and Hank's gonna be doing his draft throughout, and if we go tape long enough, PFT is gonna start a draft halfway through. So, uh, before we get to all of that, a quick word from the Cash App. So, you know, the Cash App is our favorite app to use. It's the simplest way to instantly send money to friends. It's also the number one app in finance. And now it's the number one app for paying fantasy football league fees.

Hank, did you pay your league fee yet? No, I haven't. Okay. Well, you need to download the Cash App with, uh, the app store or the Google Play Market, and you can pay your fantasy football league fee instantly with the Cash App. And also, we are giving away some money, so tweet your Cash Tag, and how much you owe your league to app part of my take, and we'll hook someone up with some free money. So, download the Cash App, uh, in, like I said, in the app store.

It's free, or the Google Play Market. Who's up? Me. Okay. All right, Hank, who's on the board? Kenyon Drake, Royce Freeman, Alex Collins, March on Lynch. I actually like Alex Collins. I like Kenyon Drake a lot this year.

I like Alex Collins. Take Kenyon. You know who else was Kenyon? Kenyon or Alex Collins. Obama. Don't take March on Lynch. Yeah. PFT is more convincing.

Yeah, take Kenyon. Okay. I love that sound. The classic Yahoo fantasy football chime and sound. Yes, yes. Okay. Cash App, download it. Do it right now.

Pay all your fantasy football fees. And let's go. Bye! Bye! Bye! Now in the street there is violence. And then I laugh at something worth to be done. No pistol hangers are washing.

And then I can't live all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna run down to electric revenue. And then we're taking higher. Oh, we're gonna run down to electric revenue. And then we're taking higher. Oh, we're gonna run down to electric revenue. So we're gonna do the new Magic Dragons song. Just put it underneath the first link.

What are the lyrics to it again? I can't even remember. We're gonna win. No. The game tonight. No, no. Not at all. It's a win.

It's a win. No, not at all. Not at all. It's a win for us. You remember something? We are... Okay, here we go. We will compete.

Three, two, one. Welcome to part of my take presented by SeekGeek. Today is Friday, August 31st. And we've got UCF Yukon. Two teams, one trophy, a civil conflict that needs to be resolved. Then going up north, New Mexico State Aggies take on PJ Fleck and his boat rowers in Minnesota. Let's go down to West Lafayette, northwestern versus Purdue. Hey, what the fuck?

Purdue's passing. That's not legal in the Big Ten, college football. And we'll kick it over to Georgia as Kennesaw State takes on the mighty Georgia State. It's college football. It is back. College football lives here. Tulane is playing Wake Forest, but sometimes it makes me think of Tulsa. Then we've got Mike Gundy without his mullet.

Where'd the mullet go, Mike? Got a problem against Rednecks taking on Missouri State? College football lives here. All right. We're back. College football is back. It feels so good. Just a terrible slate of games to start off the season, but I don't care.

The civil conflict, Purdue versus Northwestern on the lights. Like they, they usually, I feel like they used to have like one good Thursday night game. They didn't do it this year. And I don't care because I'll watch any shitty college football game just because college football is back. Well, you didn't watch week zero. Last weekend. No, I did. No, I did.

I did on Hawaii when they had those sick ass helmets and they went outright. So that was a nice little treat. Yes. Getting the league years started right. And it's week four of the NFL, which means that no good players are playing. So this is where Brogan Roback gets to show out. Yes. So yeah, college football week one.

We're finally here. Real meaningful football is back. I love how they spread it out too. We have LSU Miami on Sunday night. We have Virginia Tech FSU on Monday night. Well, let's not forget. We also have a Friday night game. So we have Western Kentucky, Wisconsin, the Hill toppers coming to Madison.

That's right. It's the the wet, the wet, the beacon. Yes. Returning champions, the trophy holders. If Wisconsin beats them, though, do they get the trophy? Yeah, I think so. I think it just keeps passing. Yeah.

And we have Michigan Notre Dame. By the way, that is the hot seat bowl. So Brian Kelly versus Jim Harbaugh. It's the overreact. It's the overreaction bowl, but it's fun to say like, ooh, if one of these guys loses, they might get fired tomorrow morning. But that's why Harbaugh wears the khakis. They're thin materials.

So you're always on the hot seat, never get too comfortable. Yes. I actually like Michigan in that game. I've come all the way around. I don't want Michigan to do well because of some people I know who root for Michigan, but I love Jim Harbaugh and their defense is going to be so good. I think Michigan's going to be very good this year. That game is the Super Bowl of which fan bases look down at you the most when you meet them at a wedding?

Yes. Absolutely. They are most likely to show you their class rings right as you walk in the door or tell you about how many games they won in football in 1940 before they let African-Americans play. That's true. That's the bowl game. The winner of that game, they get bragging rights over which school is the Ivy League of the Midwest.

Yes. Absolutely. We also have Auburn Washington, which is going to be two old school rivals. Six versus nine. Yes. You get that? Yes. That's going to be actually awesome.

You know what? I can't think of a football team that's had a bigger turnaround with their uniforms in the last five years in Washington. Yes. They got swaggy. Chris Peterson. They're all rocking red phones up there. Washington has a certain allure.

I think it's because they had just, college football is so weird. If you had success in just a random time period in the 90s, you can just be like, oh, yes, nostalgia. I think there's somebody who said, if you have a big state school and it just says Washington across your sweatshirt, it's like, that's cool. It is very cool. Yes. It is the Ivy League of the Pacific Northwest.

Right. Exactly. What else? Anything else we want to talk about? College football? I mean, Nick Saban's going to shove his cock down Bobby Petrino's throat. Yes. Probably break his neck again.

That's going to be pretty ugly. I hope he doesn't show up for the press conference wearing the cone. Not even the neck brace, just the cone that you put on a dog to prevent it from licking itself, which Bobby Petrino could probably also use. I'm actually very excited for Alabama this year because Tua is, and we're going to get to more of this with Andy Staples, who covers college football for Sports Illustrated, really fun interview going through all of the college football landscape. But Tua is like that special like sports car you want to take out, goes like, you know,

120 miles an hour, but it also crashes. Too loud. So he, like Jaylen Hertz doesn't turn the ball over. So Nick Saban, just watching Nick Saban try to resist like having instant offense, but knowing that that instant offense will also come with stupid interceptions is going to be amazing to watch. He should go with a two quarterback system. And by that, I mean like,

I think they are like, I think they'll have two quarterbacks on the field at the same time. Right. They could do that, or they could just have Jaylen Hertz play against all the shitty teams. Right. And not turn the ball over and just run the ball down that throat for like 450 yards a game. And then against any team that's in the top 25, put Tua in.

Yes. By the way, college football so back that Hank just had to walk out of the studio because the Northwestern Purdue game has people so amped. That's how awesome college football is. It's louder out there than it is in Evanston. Yes. Well, it's played in West Lafayette, but yes. Oh, okay.

Either way. Yes. Yes. You got Purdue bro. Yeah. Under the big lights. Yo, credit to Purdue by the way. Ryan Kerrigan tweeted out a video.

Yeah. Like under the lights. I think you can make any hype video. If you do a college football hype video under the lights, it can be at any stadium and you're like, holy shit, this is awesome. Did you guys see they had the train tracks as their sideline now too? Yeah. Well, they've got the big drum.

They do the toot toot. Boiler up. Toot toot. Boiler up. They do that all the time. Yeah. Vanderbilt and the Commodores with the railroad guy. It's the same guy in my head.

But the Purdue, it is. No, they're the same school. Yeah. It's just like if you're in the top 20% of students at Purdue, you get transferred automatically to Vanderbilt. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And you get to actually have sex with women.

It's pretty cool. One woman. Yes. One. One single. Yes. All right. Other news we have before we get to our Mount Rushmore.

Aaron Rodgers got paid. Yeah. Aaron Rodgers had to get interviewed and be pissed off about Aaron Rodgers' new contract. Yes. That's what makes me the most upset about this is we're not going to get that requisite interview with sources close to Aaron Rodgers every time a quarterback gets a decent deal. Yes. Welcome to Cap Hell, Green Bay.

You idiots. Mm-hmm. That's probably a good contract. Whatever. Yes, probably. But the contract numbers, this is Darren Ravel-Porn, Aaron Rodgers' new deal with the Packers will be 176 million to 180 million. Oh, Hank, we got.

What do you have right now? Who's on your team? I have three wide receivers, one running back. Okay. Let's get you a quarterback. Let's get a quarterback. I need a QB. Who's on the board quarterback wise?

Wentz, Watson, Locke, Rothesburg, Cousins, Stafford, Ryan. Watson. Watson. But who's running back? Because that's enough good quarterbacks. You can come back for one. Lynch, Ingram, Duke Johnson, Jr., Birkhead, Crowell. I need to run him back.

What is it? Ingram? Not him. Who else is Ingram? Johnson, Jr., Birkhead, Crowell, Coleman, Thompson, Hyde, Carson, Tariq Cohen. I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't mind. Hyde.

Should I take the QB? I would take Carlos Hyde. And then come back and get my homes on the other end. Carlos Hyde. Yeah. All right. Hyde your kids. Hide your wife.

All right. Okay. So Aaron Rodgers' new deal with the Packers will be worth 176 million to 180 million total per source. Big features. Cash flow, 67 million before end of calendar, over 80 million before St. Patrick's date next year. Oh.

That's going to be a big diamond ring for Danica Patrick. Yeah. She's not going to be able to walk around. It's going to be like a ball and chain. $103 million guaranteed. That was the report. They might have updated it. I love these.

There's nothing better than QB contracts because they're always just total like bullshit and the numbers that first get reported are so hilarious. Shepter does it because he can get the scoop if he reports exactly what the agent says. Yeah. And then it's like, oh, there's actually a clause that they can cut them after like 16 months. But he also said that he's not quite sure if this contract's going to make him a packer for life.

Ooh. So he's leaving that door open. Yeah. Four more years. So he'd be 38. That's a good point. Get another part of that apple. I like that.

A lot of money to throw at a guy who can't keep out of, you know, the IR because of his collarbone. Yeah. Exactly. And also he can't win the big game either. Yeah. I'll be the bold one to say. Aaron Rodgers hasn't won a Super Bowl.

He won it too early in his career for it to count. For people to remember. Yeah. Like that guy's take. Remember that guy? Andy Benoit. Yeah. Andy Benoit.

I actually agree with that take. I think that there's like an eight year statute of limitations where I get to forget about your Super Bowl. So Aaron Rodgers packer for next four years. What else we got? Anything else before we get to Mount Rushmore mistakes? Let's see. Football's back.

Football is back. So football is back. Okay. So Mount Rushmore mistakes, this is the end of Mount Rushmore season. It's always sad to see it go, but it's always necessary. You know what I mean? It's like one of those things that in order for the leaves turn, football comes back. Mount Rushmore season, we got to say goodbye.

It's the cyclical nature of sports, which makes it so great. And we'll move on. It's on to power ranking season now, which is totally different from Mount Rushmore season. But I think that this is a good one to end it on. Yes. Mount Rushmore mistakes. Mount Rushmore mistakes. Bubba.

Yeah, you decide. Give us the order. Do you want to grab one of those QB's? I'll take a Watson. Yeah. You taking Watson? Take a Watson. One.

Elementary Watson. I wouldn't think about all injuries. I would think about my homes. I would go. No, I'd go Locke. I think. I think. Or Matt Ryan or Matt Ryan or Matt Ryan or Matt Rine or Matt Stafford.

Sir Keaton is going to be ruining him probably. I've stopped my Matt Stafford. Thanks. I've stopped my Matt Stafford slander. He's going to go in the Hall of Fame. You ready for that? Jesus. Yes.

Look at his staff. pendulum has swung the other way it sucks that I have to say it I'd sucks it I'm like admitting it Matt Stafford if you look at his statistics and if he keeps playing for as long as it's not going to be a Hall of Famer my homes he's like 125 against the fucking good teams too on the road he stinks as a quarterback being the Hall of Fame coming down the crunch time Ryan Matt Ryan Maddy Ice they got they drafted Calvin Ridley they're gonna throw the ball again I They're not gonna have Julia Jones to so that's gonna. Oh, the

No, but they forget about Julia Jones a J green and No, you still got to go with the connection because if they score like when the ticker says Falcons up seven nothing you're like, oh boy. This could be it. This is the big one. Starts getting fired by week 10 Okay, so Liam you decide Hank big cat PFT. Okay. Okay. Let's do it Mount Rushmore mistakes Hank What you got? I'm not gonna lie prepared for this for about a minute because I was too busy preparing for my draft My number one Mount Rushmore mistakes is not hydrating before you drink good Wake up hungover and you realize you didn't drink any water the day before and then your hangover is like tripled Let's have a supportive Mount Rushmore guys. That's a great pick. Great pick. The headache alone is yeah

You piss like like dark yellow. Yeah, it's terrible. That's wrap dough. Yeah, terrible Mount Rushmore mistakes. I will go with one of the most famous mistakes Chris Webber timeout National championship game. That's a really good moment. That's a huge mistake That's a great. I don't know that you don't have a time out there Chris, but the guy on the bench told him do it Yeah, that one guy that one guy also also his mistake also ball. Oh ball don't lie That's a saying I invented he traveled when he got the inbound true Yeah, so it evened out all right my first one Mount Rushmore mistakes a true classic Invading Russia in the wintertime. Mm-hmm. It's brought down two

expansionist empires Napoleon and Hitler Just bad mistake, you know who the two best generals in the history of the Russian military are who? January and February. Oh nice, okay My second pick is going to be I'm gonna go with Columbus discovering the new world But not that it ended up as a mistake, but it was a mistake at the time that changed the world forever But that was a good it was a great mistake, but it's still like very noteworthy. Yeah, that's a good one though Okay, my body was sailing to India. Yeah, he did okay

My next one is going to be the Titanic. That was a pretty big mistake Thought you built a boat that couldn't sink turns out it could and it did the first trip. Yep big mistake You know, it's it on the bottom of the ship, right? It's like unsinkable. It said not even God himself could sink this ship. Mm-hmm. Well didn't count for an iceberg Yes, iceberg is above God. Yep My number two I will go with yahoo deciding not to buy Google for a million dollars back in the day But we love yahoo fantasy, but we do love yah. Yeah, they poured all that money into developing a killer fantasy football platform Yep, but that's gotta hurt, you know, yeah, that's gotta hurt. That's gonna hurt

That's gonna hurt and then my number two. I will go with John Skipper cancelling Barstle Vantok. Good one. Good one That's my number three. Okay. My number three is anyone who's listening to this who has their next closest sibling as Six plus years older than them. You are a big mistake. Mm-hmm huge mistake. Your parents did not want you Fuck the whole thing up like they were they were done They had all their kids in school then boom you popped out and let me tell you this if you're listening to this and you're and you're like You have a brother or sister. You're the youngest your brother or sister is six years older than you Your parents hate you every time they look in your face and well be nice. Okay. I still know that was nice That was no offense. Okay. Thank you. There you go verbal meme

Everyone listening that has an older sibling Mr. Krabs verbal meme Your everyone's who has an older sibling Your parents is Keanu Reeves and the you're the guy in the on the motorcycle getting shot in the head in your head That's what they wish they did. Yeah, okay verbal meme there's a girl walking down the street and It's having another child and then the guy looking back at her is

Your dad and then the woman standing next to him is a healthy and secure retirement for your parents. Yes. Yep That's good. That's good. All right. Okay. Good memes too. Great meme session guys My last to make those first. Yes, please do. I'm gonna go with The first time you try edibles and you eat twice as much as you were supposed to because you didn't think that it was kicking in Fast enough. He's not doing anything. Yeah. Yeah, that's a big one And then my last one the Cleveland Browns firing Bill Belichick. Mmm. That's a big one. That's a big one alter the course of history Yes, did okay My last mistake that picture with the coaching tree when it's like Belichick

Saban man genie and like everyone else is it's disgusting. I was a Browns fan. I'd be sick. Yeah, you can absolutely Yeah, just gross can somebody hire a man genie. He found Danny Woodhead. Yeah, please man genious All right, my last one will be also football related Pete Carroll passing on goal line Super 49 Mistake big mistake. Yeah, D big mistake. Okay Hank my last boy. Have you seen like there's this revisionist history like oh Well, it was the right play call Considering the formation. Yeah, like come on. Yeah, well then don't use that formation Yeah, like what just call time out or something. Do they have a time out? I think they did. I don't know whatever they should have run the ball Yeah, oh my last one. I will go with Jim Calhoun picking a mecha okra for and crown over Ryan go fucked up damn it

Not bad Ryan Gomes weight 265 pounds and call in high school. Okay. You want me to take everyone? I can't take everyone I took him back. I'll go for a crown butler. They're not bad Fucking greatest speech that that and not a dime back not a dime back If you have not watched Jim Calhoun not a dime back stop this podcast right now and watch Jim Calhoun not a dime back All right, because that's the greatest Not a dime back Not a dime back. I'd like to be retired someday

I'm getting tired I'm sorry. I make a lot more than that. Yeah, my best advice to you. Yeah, shut up You're welcome. You're welcome What were the honorable mentions? I had one that was very similar to Hank's so I left it off I was just gonna say drinking on an empty stomach. Mmm. That's good I had liquor before beer. Yep. Looker before beer dick Dan Quinn kicking that field goal Down four. Yeah, that was a huge person on fourth and goal. You can forget. That's a big mistake How about thinking that women were witches and then throwing them into the water and sell a mistake? Yeah, probably

Is that been proven wrong that they weren't witches? Yeah, I don't know if that's you can't really we want to throw that into mistake Yeah, well, yeah, if they were witches or if they weren't witches then after they died They would have come back and haunted Salem, right which is like I didn't mean to say witches But which is probably happening. Do you think well then? Yeah, I think the witches exist Hmm, Steven X. Okay. Oh good point. Yeah What about Pete best gay? Did he get kicked out of the Beatles or did he leave the beat? I think he just sucked. Okay Pete best not practicing hard enough at the drums Yeah, what was there not someone who also Steve Jobs like could have had like Apple?

Well, he did have Apple It was the third guy or no, so yeah, there was a third guy. What was neon was like no was Steve Jobs And then there was a third guy who like cashed out there was like 85 bucks Also, Bill Gates gave Steve Jobs like a million bucks to get him off his feet when when Apple was floundering whoops He gave him a bunch of money He's like hey competition is good for all of us and then Steve Jobs just like ran a train down Bill Gates Fucking ass yeah, anything else Hank anything else you got that we missed all right Mount Rushmore mistakes We'll put it up. I got one trusting your assistant coaches too much. Yes the person who

You see by the way just dropped a Julian Edelman in my league With the so great pick. That's a great pick awesome player. Yeah, I wrote it by the way I and also great to play video games with Hank So what were you trying to say Hank because I got a newsflash for you I don't listen to every single one of these shows. Mm-hmm. I'm just saying I if you know in a draft taking A guy who's not gonna play a quarter of a Face right now. He's listening Hank. Why don't this has nothing to do with you? No, you just brought up his suspension his suspension that he's receiving for doing nothing right? Yes

He's a third round pick. This is nothing to do with him. I told Hank you never heard about revenge Revenge season ready for that. Hey, you remember that year that Tom Brady got suspended for four games Yeah, I came back and then lit up the league and was like the number one passing quarterback the entire time Don't you think Julian Edelman is gonna have that same impact? You know, you're right. That wasn't a mistake. Yes. Thank you Yes, okay. All right, let's get to our interview with Andy Staples SI writer college football we talk all college football preview the whole season before we do that Want to quickly talk to you guys about our friends at FanDuel

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Car stick made famous by Hank and we're gonna be giving out weekly prizes too. We're FanDuel guys because FanDuel is different this season You don't need to be a fantasy expert to win there and FanDuel has never been more fun or easier to play FanDuel's got more ways To play for guys like us. They're even running a $250,000 free survivor contest. That's the biggest free survivor contest ever and it locks week one We're going to be playing on FanDuel all season and we need every AWL to come play with us If you don't give FanDuel a shot You're pretty much saying you don't want to hang with PFT and sleep in his room at the Super Bowl

Come on plus new users get a $20 bonus when they make their first deposit on FanDuel come play with us at fanDuel.com PMT that's FanDuel.com Slash PMT come on. We got a bunch of stuff this year do it you get that bonus FanDuel.com Slash PMT free money. We're also brought to you by our friends at Bud Light last weekend of summer folks The new Bud Light lime and orange it is the way to end the summer with a bang They're brewed with real orange and lime peels and it's famous among friends. You've been drinking them all summer It's the way to end it. Come on Labor Day get to the beach one last time get to that barbecue one last time Grab that cool refreshing Bud Light lime and orange brewed with real orange and lime peels do it now. Okay, here he is

SI's Andy Staples All right Hank, what do you got? I have two two out of eight running backs three out of eight receivers one quarterback Thinking about taking a running back. Wait, how many running backs you have? Two. Who do you have? And who's who's on the board? Ingram Burkhead Crowl Thompson Chris Chris Carson three Cohen Sonny Michelle Chris Carson take Carson. That's my lock at the century

Hey, he's fat. Yeah Hank. This is huge. He's like 16 pounds overweight. Take Carson. Yeah, Chris Carson Chris Carson is gonna be a top five running back in the NFL this year. You're welcome Hey, all right. This is my team so far Matt Ryan Kenyon Drake Carlos Hyde Demarius Thomas OBJ Julius Jones Okay, that's a good person. Yeah Okay, we have Andy Staples in studio Sports Illustrated college football guru wizard. It is We're gonna run this right before Labor Day So it's gonna be college football when everyone's like this is it's back and we got to start with the most important question

Can this finally be the year that Alabama doesn't win? I Don't know. I I mean that's that means that means they're gonna win. Well. No, here's the thing I think Georgia is becoming the new Alabama. Okay, and I actually Filmed a video that you will now have seen on SA.com I as we're taping this it hasn't come out yet, but where I say I think Georgia's gonna win the SEC this year Okay, I think Georgia by the end of this season like they have to replace so many guys that you know But the thing is unless you follow recruiting hardcore, you don't realize the guys they have coming in Might eventually be better right on her point. Very much like Alabama counterpoint to a

I've watched him play for two quarters of football to win like 30 seconds So yeah, and he looked good in the in that half. He looks wonderful. Very good. Talk me out of to a okay I'm not gonna talk you out of to a starting to a In Alabama's offense makes them different makes them real that like they they can take the top off a defense and much more Oracle, but let's not forget some of the things that happened in that half. You saw mm-hmm Actually, listen, we can we can we can we can limit it to two plays Okay, we'll limit it to the plate the last play and the play before it the last play is one of the greatest plays you will ever see Dude throws a touchdown pass to win the national title. Mm-hmm. The play before it is one of the dumbest plays you will ever see yep

Mm-hmm dude gets flushed Continues to backpedal so that the person who fell down Can crawl and then get back up and still has enough time to sack it and and minus 16 You could tell me if I am wrong here But there I have a sneaking suspicion that as talented as Tua is and as different that he makes that offense Nick Saban probably has a little piece of him that's like Jalen Hertz will run the offense not make mistakes We can run the ball we can do our Alabama thing where we just suck the will out of the opponent. That's the thing Nick Saban does not like turnovers. He does not like surprises right shocking

I know right he just wants to run the ball and then if you have a quarterback He should run the ball so Alabama fans are like to what what what's what's the holdup and Nick savings like Jalen hurts through like three interceptions in two years, right? So but I do think to a winds up winning the job, but there's a trade-off Yes, you can stretch the defense more vertically, but there may be some times you give it to them more off Do you think maybe to was playing chess while George was playing checkers by allowing himself to get sacked and opens up the That's it off the arm strength he convinced that corner who was supposed to be covering Devontae Smith

Yeah, to not jam Devontae Smith the line Yeah, if he does that ball falls incomplete George wins a national title the kicker with the rex Bex is the hero Yes, Red Rego I'm blanking you. All right. So similar team That will also be competing for national title that we might have a quarterback thing going on with Clemson. Yes So Kelly Bryant, I like him, but this Freshman coming in who's got the surfer hair. He's got the look. It's PFT hair Yeah, he does he's got long like if you frost your tips. Have you seen him?

Well, see I don't trust it I don't trust a college kid with hair this long because that means that he started that in high school He did and if you're a high school kid with long hair, then you're just where's that kid from he's not Lawrenceville, Georgia So okay suburban Atlanta. He looks like he's an orange County kid. Yeah Orange County, yeah, Orange County of the south. Okay, so but but what's gonna happen there? Are they going to I mean they have the exact same situation where they have so much talent and if they can get their quarterback thing Right, they should be able to win a national title. Absolutely. They're stacked on the d-line. Oh, yeah I mean watching clubs to play defensive like the defensive line scary. Look at this PFT

His hair is oh sunshine. I'm gonna have to deal with the fall of people tagging me in pictures of the sky. Yes Poor you poor me. No, I sense a bet on the national title game Let's say it's Clemson, Alabama Clemson, Ohio State Clemson, Georgia, whatever it is where if Clemson wins You will be frosting your tips. That's yeah, I'll frost my tips. It's gonna happen. So who are they gonna go with? I think they wind up going with with Lawrence I don't know if they go with them right away because they play Furman right and then they play Texas A&M Which you know, Jim officials there, but it's gonna take a bit to get you up going So they can they can kind of get it figured out

But go back to 2014 when Deshaun Watson was a freshman They went with coal stout because they felt like out of camp. They were kind of equal stouts the veteran You know, if you put him in a big spot, he's he's at least been around everybody. So let's do that They should have known after the Georgia game because they throw to Sean Watson into the Georgia game He's like he calls it that one of the coaches told me this later his first series against George first collegiate series There's a play they had repped once in practice that they had mentioned once a situation of blitz that they had mentioned once The Sean Watson recognized it got them out of the play. They were in and into the correct play touchdown That probably should have been the moment right right

But stout was the starter for the second game and the third game they're at Tallahassee. That's the one where James Winston Stood up in the student union. So he wasn't playing. Okay. Yeah, just for standing out there. Another of James Winston's. That's right. So Cole stout starts they probably leave 10 14 points on the field the first two series they bring in Watson It's clear. He's the guy, but then they lose that game in overtime. Well, that cost in the ACC title Right, I'm guessing if you're dabbosweenie and you went through that if the guys are equal again You're gonna go with the sea at the higher ceiling, right? So Cole stout is a great quarterback name Well, I'd have cliff stouts kid. Yeah, I have problems pulling him out too. It's like Cole stout. Mmm. That guy sounds like

It's like broken row back. Yeah. Yeah, bro. Yes, bro back sounds like I Was talking one of my editors put it best a Frat guy named Logan and that's what his frat brothers calling. Yes. Yes, brogan. That's Yeah, he sounds like the first guy to get kicked off or quit a lacrosse team. Yeah Oh, yeah, I was thinking about that as I was watching. I was like, what derail this dude's lacrosse career. Yeah Yeah, how do you wind up playing football? Yes, I noticed that you tossed in the name Ohio State I did a national championship. Oh, you still think that's that's a legit thing or you think that this is gonna I mean, I mean, we're supposed to be unstuck in time

But we probably have to break the fourth wall a little bit when we're recording this We don't know wires on a leave and we don't know what's gonna right? That said if I'm just talking about the product they put on the field the talent they have shawna Stacked he line shawna. Mm-hmm Ryan day Kevin Wilson, but stacked he line. I Really like the quarterback between has been a guy that coaches it those coaches have been so excited about him And obviously he would he love JT Barrett, but this will be different The fact that urban didn't go with Dwayne Haskins the end of last year was crazy to me because JT Barrett stung As Jim Harbaugh put it in that documentary series as Dwayne Haskins was slicing dicing them

quality back But that that big 10 championship game that we were at JT Barrett like it was so clear that Ohio State has you know, when you get to the top level It's team speed and Ohio State had the team speed and JT Barrett couldn't hit his guys, right? Well, they're when there's when they have a quarterback who can run the ball They tend to over rely on that guy in a run game when they have a quarterback who's not as great of a runner, but can chuck it Then they feed the backs. Well, that's better for every right because JK Dobbins is special, right? so you've got Dwayne Haskins who can stretch the field more and

You're not going to get in that play-calling rut where I got I'm in trouble quarterback run I'm in trouble you think you think Urban Meyer would have learned that with the famous Zika Elliott came against Michigan State You mean when they forgot he was on the team? Yeah, yeah, and just maybe hey run the board when he got Tim Tebow's ribs crushed against Kentucky Yeah, they got all by George the next week Yes, you you should but you kind of fall back into your habits. Yeah. Well, this will keep them It'll look like the offense that Cardale was running in the playoff Yep, and if I'm in the Big 10 and I'm my defensive coordinator that should terrify. Yeah, that's not so what do you think? I mean like we said we're taping this before two weeks before we air it

So we might look stupid I have always thought that Urban's gonna keep his job because he wins football games See, I don't know that I thought I used to just assume that be cynical about it like that And then the Baylor thing happened because I was assuming okay, they're gonna they hired on an outside law firm Right, that means they don't have to tell us anything, right? So they're clearly gonna keep art brought and then they fire our brails, right? so now I'm like and and Again you listeners already know the answer to this so one of us is a moron, but Ohio State

Has fired so many good coaches before for less not the kind of place they fired what he has a fire Jim Tressel Yeah, but they tried very hard to keep Jim Tressel and I didn't try that. They knew they kept on suspending him I think they probably got away. I think they were just trying to keep the fan base happy Yeah, the moment they found out what happened They knew they're gonna have to fire him because the NCAA was gonna hand down penalties and required them to fire right, so it just This is a school that has not been afraid to fire good coaches in the past and has bounced back every time Mm-hmm. I'm not saying it doesn't matter who coaches Ohio State because it clearly does because urban Meyer has been better than Jim Tressel was

You know Woody Hays was better than John Cooper But they're gonna be some degree of good and if you pick wisely and every coach in America would want the job if it opens You're still gonna be a national power So who if Ohio States let's say urban Meyer does get fired who in the East is now the team I mean Michigan clearly has the talent, but they don't they haven't all figured out the quarter regardless of what happens with Meyer I think The casual fan is going. Oh Penn State lost a Juan Barkley. They lost their offensive coordinator Joe Moorhead

Who's now the Mississippi State head coach? They're gonna take a step back. No, no, no, no This is where you see the fruits of James Franklin's recruiting over the years It's it's taken a little while I talked to a big 10 coach the other day and they were telling me about How different Penn State's offensive line looks now because it used to be like big dudes who are super stiff and now they look like NFL players right and That's the sort of thing you don't notice at first when you're watching say Juan Barkley run wild But they've already got a quarterback. In fact, they got to Tommy Stevens would start at most big 10 schools

So they don't have one. Hmm. That's right. They have none. Yeah, in fact Well, they have to they might play at the same time on the field. Oh, I love that. Yes. Oh, that's the next evolution They're doing that Baltimore. I love what I love when college teams do the in and out quarters Navy might play three No, well, I went to the University of Florida where Steve Spurrier once subbed Doug Johnson and Noah Brindice every play Like week two Florida's offense usually consists of about two and a half quarterbacks per game Yeah, well, I mean, that's the McElwain era. We'll see you the gym the Dan Molinar if that changes But well, let me stick to that real quick

Between Florida and LSU who's gonna have a quarterback first? I think LSU has a quarterback now the Because the Ohio State coaches and Ohio State players I don't think they were blowing smoke when they said borough was fairly close to Haskins and Maybe this is me just being in the bag for Dwayne Haskins and thinking anybody who's kind of close to him is pretty good Mm-hmm, but I'm taking that as a sign that this dude could start most places Are you on the right side of history with coach or the wrong side that he is an important question that he is going to Have a statue outside Tiger Stadium. Yes. Yes. Yes. Well, it's not just that. He's going to be mummified Riding riding Mike. Yes. Yeah, I'm with you on okay because he gets he gets made fun of he's the easy target

We're coach. Oh guys. Mm-hmm. He's an easy target, but if he can put the right Coordinators around him. Why not the coach? Oh on the hot seat thing has been one of the my least favorite things about the offseason He won nine games last right now granted losing the Troy game was probably his fault for telling Matt Canada Don't run your offense the way it's run. Mm-hmm, so he probably should have won 10 games, right? He actually probably should have won 11 because they should have been no game. Oh game. Yeah, but That's his first year and their talent level was not what LSU Typically is they were as thin as you can get when they played Mississippi State on At the beginning of the season last year their D line was like four guys and then after that

They were going to pull people out of the stands. So which actually is not a bad strategy in Louisiana Well, they were unfortunately they were in Mississippi. So that person would have been holding it out You can pull them out They're drunk enough you can you can put them at a wide nine technique and they will make it to the quarterback, but But they're they're gonna be much deeper on the D line this year Defensively, I'm not too worried about them. It's just really are what kind of quarterback player you're gonna get and and if burrow is pretty good Well, guess what? It's a totally different end. So they play Miami first

Everybody's assuming that Miami's gonna kick the crap out of them. I don't I'm not so sure about that. Let's go. Where's that game? That game's in Jerry world. Okay, all right They said Miami might not have a quarterback either, right? Well, they're going molecular Malik Rose here again Which if you ask their fan, right, but nobody else has been able to beat him out Mm-hmm. I think he's got a little more help around in this year They had a guy named mom on Richards who was unbelievable as a freshman He's hurt all last year that often will look a little bit different with him healthy. Yeah, but I still With the with the past rush that LSU should be able to generate. I

Like LSU in that game. Okay. All right. I want to jump back down to Gainesville real quick That's where you're from. Mm-hmm. Do you think that Jim McElwain would still have that job if he had fucked the shark? I Think he would yeah Yes, yeah, if he said hand up that was me are you convinced it wasn't him I'm not convinced but if he had admitted it and like a man It looked a lot like yeah a lot like a lot. I mean got a guy that was a pretty thick shark It didn't look bad. Yeah, I He was very offended by those questions

Very gotta answer was probably more offended by that than any other question It was the lady doth protest too much was such a perfect sec controversy like started on a message board It didn't start on a message board with a random British animal Yeah, who happens to be a die-hard LSU fan would have made it a truly sec story That's truly a sec story is if some Bama booster had had it from like, you know years ago when he worked there or something Yeah, or I had photoshopped it even and they're trying that they're worried he's gonna You know beat him in recruiting so like well, I can't have this traced back to me and like research is all these animal rights Yes, here's one in England. Yeah over five. It's good. I'm just like brown envelope. Yeah, no return address

That's the ultimate that that would be the ultimate SEC story that stormy Daniels would post about on tiger dropping Yeah, yeah, you know, it's a stormy Daniels was a tiger droppings poster I did not know the tiger droppings is is the LSU the back. Oh, yeah stormy Daniels was a was a tiger dropping Oh, no, no, the Mecca might be still Canes time no, no with anybody came Hogville in Arkansas. Yeah, the the foyer requests alone They got Houston nuts phone records That started the downfall yes and not hell. Yeah, I mean they're they're amazing bodybuilding.com still pretty good to Yeah, you can find some good SEC stories. Yeah, I think so. Yeah

I wouldn't be surprised if the IP traced back to like Nick Saban's office towards like who dug up that picture Oh, he'd never know he'd never let it be traced to him didn't Lyndon Johnson say like it I want my opponent to be accused of fucking a pig just so that he has to say in the press like I did not fuck the pig Yeah, so that that was all the damage that you needed right there If you're gonna Johnson was also very very specific about Where he wanted his testicles to hang relative to the crease in his pants. So yeah, well, he had jumbo All right, so let's quickly I want to get your dark horses, but let's quickly touch on the other two conferences Can we just say Oklahoma and Washington are gonna win their respective conferences?

I think they will West Virginia is kind of the wild card. Oh, I love we love we're big Listen guys exactly and will Greer is maybe the best quarterback in the country. We'll see I don't know if he's the number one quarterback off the board next year in the NFL But he may be the best college quarterback in the country right now They're gonna put up sick numbers on offense, but they got to get better on defense. Yep Their schedule is is back loaded like crazy in the Big 12 So they go Texas TCU, Oklahoma State, Oklahoma their last four games But you only have to be number two in the Big 12 right to make the title game, right?

So I I think it's an Oklahoma West Virginia title game. Okay, so it'd be they play the last week of the season They play again. I'm I'm here for that. Okay, because Oklahoma's defense has been a little sketchy. Oh, yeah And little tackle. Yeah, so I'm period. I'm all for a 78 to 74 big 12. Yes. Yes Who's more back Texas or Notre Dame this year? Yeah, you got to bring that up. I remember was it two years ago covering the the Texas Notre Dame game in Austin and A buddy of mine who I used to work with at the at the Tampa Tribune on where Richardson covers Texas now And I turned to him after Texas wins were waiting for Charlie strong to come talk it and turn him ago

Well, at least you won't be covering a coaching search this year Yeah, because I because that's a dumb ass stuff. We do off these first week games Mm-hmm like we assumed Notre Dame was good So we assume that Texas beating them meant something. Yeah, there was a four and eight team that yeah It didn't mean anything. Yeah, but Texas. It's funny They are trying really hard to tamp down any Texas's backstop because I think they feel like they actually got something right and They have upgraded the talent there. I still don't know if they can block I mean that they we still haven't even seen Tom Herman's offensive Texas because their offensive line was a mess last year

So if it's if it's deeper like they say it is I think Texas could actually contend in the big 12 But I'm done with the Texas right until I see it So they prove it. You can't do it and then pack 12 Washington. I mean organ obviously has yeah Oregon I think is about a year away from being back to being really competitive in the north If Herbert will stay another year. That'll be really interesting. He's gonna be a big draft for this year Don't don't sleep price love back people forget rice loves back and it's either KJ Costello or Davis Mills at quarterback Which is a pretty good option to have they don't have a take the top off the defense guy. They have oh no shit There are no there are no nuclear physicists who can take the top off a defense

But no they have this guy named JJ our Sega white side who is he runs one of my favorite plays in college football the The giant receiver Just go get a pass interference penalty every time. Yeah, Ravens are gonna draft that's how that is how they won the Oregon State game last year I mean it was JJ better get a flag or we're done right and and I think Oregon State probably got called for PI like six times I'm in the fourth quarter. Yeah, what about my sleeper her medwards Is he actually gonna play football game this year? Is he just gonna like go out on on the field trip? I'm not waiting like they got Michigan State coming to their place. Oh, no, I Can't wait because this this is either gonna work

No, no, no, no, no, no, no Yeah, history. Yeah, it's just gonna develop young men. That's all he's gonna do He's well take your boys and turn them into young men. Yeah, and then probably not when I'm terrified because the game He left in the NFL is not the same sport right played right now, right? He's still gonna be showing up on like first take getting into debates with Stephen A. Smith during the season I can't wait. I'm here for it. It's gonna be great. He said today because they they've got Nikhil Henry is a very good receiver if we're only targeting him eight times a game I'm gonna do something about that. I'm I'm taking that to mean he's pledging to play quarterback. Yes. Yes. Yes

I'm here for that. Yeah, I want that to happen. Absolutely because I just for in terms of sheer theater. I can't wait mm-hmm because All right, so Ray Anderson is his former agent He's the athletic director at Arizona State and his thing is well, I like my coordinators So I'm gonna hire Herm to just kind of be the CEO guy and we'll let these coordinators go So Phil Bennett was the defense coordinator Billy Napier is the offense coordinator as Of like a week later neither of them works here. It's fantastic. So who are their coordinators now? Yeah, yeah, I feel like they cast a really wide net and a lot of people said no

Well, they they promoted from within on offense and they hired from San Diego State on defense. Oh, wow Yeah, all right, but but San Diego States defensive coordinator is their head coach Rocky long So they didn't hire him. Okay So let's do some let's do some dark horse nuts Let's not say dark horse for national title, but yeah teams that you're gonna say wow, we didn't see that coming Labor day Sleeping on him. Yes. Absolutely. Are the what about the UCF the the national tight champions Wrong wrong directional, Florida. Oh, okay. You're going south

Florida Tampa, okay. No, no, no, you you're there because UCF has has McKinsey Milton still a quarterback and that that's great but they did lose quite a bit and I don't know what Josh Hyples gonna be as a head coach I do know Charlie strong really likes the team he has they don't they don't have Quentin Flowers a quarterback anymore, but With the group they have They could do some stuff the other team in that league That's really interesting is Houston because Ed Oliver is the best player in college football. They're defensive tackle and

The draft next just watch him. Just enjoy some stupid NFL team is gonna pass on him and he's gonna go like two or three and Some GM is gonna get fired and and what about teams that like we can bet on I mean, I'm I have a gambling problem So, yeah, like what does it all lead to be undervalued? Well, West Virginia is a under under seven and a half Oh, wow. Oh, I think I feel like that and I think South Carolina's got an over under of seven Yeah, and South Carolina now they've overachieved the past two years So what do they do with some expectations? But they got a quarterback they play in the SEC East, which is still pretty down. Mm-hmm eight games doesn't feel like a stretch for them

Let me throw one at you Boston College so Boston College is an interesting one because you have Two very undervalued teams in the ACC Atlantic in Boston College in Wake Dave Klossin is working Yeah, wake for you. Yeah, miracle their defense was Each other. Yeah, and then NC State's not really taking a step back They're still probably the most talented of that bunch below Clemson and Florida State in that division But Boston College has a day AJ Dillon who's a grown man and they have an offensive line Yeah, they so for some reason I think it might be because they play on Thursday nights

They have that one game every year Thursday night the Friday night game in Friday night. Yeah, that's like Florida State went up I always just end up betting on them and losing money within like four minutes Yes, like they ran out of the tunnel. They're like, wow, there's four people here and and so nobody's seeing right of this So let's just let's just take it to the house There's nothing better than watching a team just you like totally give up and you can see like, you know The the secondary starts doing the arm tackle. Oh, yeah, these guys don't want to yeah But the problem with BC or or wake if you want to go with them as trendy teams Yep

Is you might pick the wrong one right because that division and the thing is Louisville takes a step back But they're still pretty talented Mm-hmm, so that's just good that could be a giant mess of a bunch of like four and four in the ACC teams Yeah, what about FAU make it swan song or he goes to Alabama next year. This is your contract. This is as talented a Team at that level that you're ever gonna see now. Can he get them all like chemistry wise? It'll be a miracle if he get everybody to play together Yeah, but well if he just doesn't sleep with any of their moms step one be good. I I'm so fascinated by that guy Oh, he's he's unbelievable. So you guys you guys are people who follow the zeitgeist. Mm-hmm. Yeah

Whatever we do about Lane kiffin Blows up. Yes Everybody wants to know Everything this guy's doing the craziest thing about Lane kiffin. We're sitting here. It's 2018. I would bet a Like a good amount of money that Lane kiffin will coach not only a power five Team at some point in the rest of his career, but also probably in the NFL like he'll probably get back You'll go around again. Someone will fall in love with Lane kiffin again He'll just do it again power five things amazing to me because let's say Jeff Brahm leaves Purdue or let's say Illinois fires

Lovey Smith or He's got the Santa bear. Yeah, or Herm Edwards is a flop at Arizona State Those are all programs that need to generate buzz. Yeah, Lane kiffin generates buzz Arizona State would be a nightmare. Yeah, he would just set up a tent in Scottsdale and downtown Scottsdale Illinois got Liddyville though. They got buzz Whole things gonna go crazy, but that's you need somebody who can actually get your get you out We like so I do shows on on the college channel on Sirius XM We have never talked about FAU before we talked about Florida Atlantic all the time

Mm-hmm because people like if I mentioned Lane kiffin phone lines light up, right? If I if I write about Lane kiffin Twitter lights up But he's got he's got the buzz and he also has because the way college football From kind of how I see it is that you either have the blue the blue blood programs So they're gonna recruit well and they're gonna do well and then if you can hire that coach that lightning rod coach You can get up to that level. It's more coaching than anything. Right. Well, not like coaching X and O's coaching in terms of yeah The buzz and the recruiting and everything. I this is just me and all the other guys who do my job disagree with me on this I think the thing holding Lane kiffin back is still

What happened at USC? Mm-hmm has nothing to do with any of the other stuff It's that he got handed the keys to a Cadillac program and didn't win there right that that is probably a Because look college sports that you know, they turn it in this huge morality play But nobody really cared and also it's just about winning and what in a little credit to Lane kiffin when he went to Tennessee He did say the job that he would take was USC Well, and the other thing about Lane kiffin at Tennessee that people forget that team was not a great roster that he took over He he took him to Gainesville against a team that went when I think they went 12 and won that year and Hey, he slowed down the pace. He created a game plan that made it where Florida had make made a mistake

Tennessee was right in it. Mm-hmm Alabama the team that went undefeated in one of the national title that year Beat Tennessee 12 to 9 at home on a blocked field goal by a very large man named Terrence Cody Link kiffin coached very well that mm-hmm and yeah, he went to USC because you said it before Who wouldn't take the USC job right and he even said I think he did say it before I was like listen This is the one job. I'm going but the problem is he didn't when he had to one good year USC Mm-hmm when they were still on postseason probation So he didn't really get the cash in on that and then the next year he's got Matt Barkley back and Marquis Lee and Robert Woods and they're just

Average right the Sun Bowl George attack. Who cares? It's not bad. I don't even think Lane wore the sombrero Yeah, I mean, I like the Sun Bowl because it's always oh, I'd love to cover a Sun Bowl Yeah, the Sun Bowl is fun. El Paso tries hard and it's always that yeah It's like in that I feel like they split Sun Bowl in that December 25th of January 1st range, right? Yeah, okay. It's the Sun Bowl sounds official other than Army Navy. It's the one the CBS SEC Yes, that's why yeah, you get Vernon Lundquist and Gary Danielson just butchering dudes This means something because they don't play in the SEC, but that's my dumb brains like CBS. This means It's December 27th at 3 o'clock in the afternoon exactly love it. All right, let's wrap up with give us your

Final four and your national champion. All right final four Wisconsin oh We're in it Washington. Okay, Clemson Georgia Georgia, okay, no Bama Are you sure about that Nick Saban will probably make someone bend the knee in the feeling I'm feeling something yeah, right? I mean you actually have a shot going through me Yeah, you have a red dot on your forehead right now the sniper national champion Clemson Okay, do you think it should be a law in the SEC that whatever team finishes last their head coach would have to be Nick Saban's unpaid assistant?

Mm-hmm. Well, that's not really a law. It's just more of a guideline. It's just sort of happens It's happened pretty much every year. So no, I I think there should be relegation Yeah, I think the best that the Sunbelt champion should be moved into the SEC the Mac and the Big 10 are perfect Absolutely, because the Sunbelt fits Culturally yeah, like I want Troy moved into the SEC. Yeah every once in a while. Yes, North Texas in the SEC Northern Illinois has been a lot better of a program than Illinois in the last decade plus exactly swap them out Okay, so is Wisconsin gonna score in the in the playoffs I think I don't think there's anybody that can shut out Wisconsin right?

I they will score they will score it now. What will they give up? Yes against a team like they would see their Wisconsin overs your back I love how big big cats getting built up right now. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's gonna all know. I know I know in the back of my head I know we're gonna lose in I'm gonna get all the conference probably beat Penn State And then we'll probably lose to them in the Big 10 championship You know lose to Iowa. Yeah, Roy through but I was gonna have one of those Yeah, Northwestern I've always long said the hardest place to play in the entire College of Illinois at 11 a.m. Oh Illinois 11 a.m. Yeah, no one wants to be absolutely

Yeah, and the announcers always sound sleepy everyone They're sleepy boy half the kids played in bigger stadiums and caught in high school with more fans in them Absolutely, just puts them to sleep Well, that's what I was like the Pac-12 fans complain about night games like they want their games to start at noon Mm-hmm. They're noon local right SEC fans would riot if you made them play at noon. Yeah, like they want a night game. Yeah, they want a party all Why would you you can't be drunk by noon? No, that's why it's hard. Yeah, it's hard I did it all college. So you got to get up pretty early. It's 11. Yeah, or yeah, 11. Yeah, it's 11

Central time. Yeah, you got to get up pretty early. Yeah, I just can't I don't think they should start games until three o'clock local time Where else are we some of the Big 10 games? Yeah, noon. Give me the Beth Moans Purdue Yeah, the Purdue Indiana game. You need it. You need it. Well, that's my way to always see game day break away Yeah, yeah, and that's where it goes. Yeah, it's like oh, it's a bumble It's like on NFL Sunday where they cut away from countdown and they go to bowling But see now my folks in the south will appreciate this That does not compare to what used to happen at 1230 Eastern time in the south the JP game

The Jefferson pilot game was like the seventh best SEC game three Dave's Dave Neil Dave Archer Dave Baker Yes, and they're like, yes, their cameras were like nine years behind Everybody else is an HD and it looks like they're shooting through a fish tank Yep, and then and it's Mississippi State in Kentucky. They write and they would show they would show score updates Yeah, like it'd be the third quarter of other games that are showing scores from the first quarter And the internet is a thing that exists. Yes. Yes, so the JP game was was the greatest thing and like the JP game got

Ron's look at Florida. Yeah, Mississippi They play at Mississippi State the JP game and nobody gets up for a JP game if you're at a premium program The Dave's will kill you every time. Yep. Every time. It's true It's true They should just make all the Bowden brothers just hand them all like handheld cameras and stay on the sidelines and narrate it as their Well, they all coached accurate. Yeah, I do it right now when the Bowden show up. It's always great You know when when maxion goes to Akron on a Tuesday night. Mm-hmm. I'm I'm here for the Bowden Bowden family member with a GoPro on the side. Yes, the fail-sons get their shot

All right, I told you that was gonna run it Andy Staples. Thank you so much find him at si.com You'll be writing about college football. You're done serious too serious XM channel 84 1 to 4 p.m. Oh, wow Yeah, okay 84 85 like it. All right, Andy. Thank you so much That interview was brought to you guys by Lisa a quality night's sleep helps you recover from distractions faster Prevents burnout makes better decisions for you. It improves your memory and overall you make fewer mistakes when you have a great night's sleep It's not marketing. It's science to design a better mattress Lisa at leverage 30 plus years of experience and hundreds of hours of testing to develop the perfect mattress for all body shapes Shapes and all sleeping styles

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Oh Alright, what we got? Do you have a tight end yet? I don't have a tight end. I don't have a defense. Oh, okay. Who what tight ends are available? David and joku Charles clay Tyler Eifert front of the program kiddle front of the program Benjamin Watson somehow still in the league Tyler Eifert He's gonna have a bounce back here. Hmm. I fart. Oh, it's good. That's good. That's really good. Thank you The joker was good on hard knock. He was good. Yeah All for the he's got it. He's got a quarterback good Hank. His hands are not good

He's also got crystal power behind him. Nope. His hands aren't good, but he's got a bod Okay, okay, good choice. Let's get some segments first up. We have talking soccer. What do we got PFT? Yeah, this comes directly from the Oval Office or commander-in-chief the president Donald Trump wait wait What if we just started saying commander-in-chief? Oh, that's pretty good. Yeah, the commander-in-chief Donald Trump and Yeah, that was that's pretty good. Who knew Hank can do a cow and I can do a vagina Yeah, yeah, so he was talking about the the US and Canada, Mexico being awarded the World Cup in

2026 and He was giving a little press conference and said and I quote soccer is a game I guess you call it football, but over here. Maybe at some point. They'll change the name. I'm not sure But we'll see it's working. Well either way and That was his that was talking soccer. Yeah, he said it was the fastest growing game Well, yeah, he did say that and it's working very well either way We didn't make the World Cup, but actually all working out. This is as good analysis as you'll get from a lexical Alice Yes, he's actually better. Yeah, and weirdly less angry. Yeah

In the stunning turn of events and he's right. I looked it up This is the longest World Cup unbeaten streak that we're on right now nice since the Reagan administration. Hell. Yes, hell Yes, it's been over four years since the United States lost a World Cup game It was also great because he gave they gave him a red card And he just gave the red card to the media, which was which was pretty funny move That is that is pretty light every now and then like hey like you know you guys hate each other like fake news Everyone's at war with each other, but hey just every now and then just give a red card I mean maybe soccer does need a rebrand in America football's taken so we can't call it that

But if if we actually named it after Donald Trump, yeah, if we call it a Trump ball Yes Do you have any idea how many hundreds of millions of dollars the US government would immediately funnel into our development program? It would be pretty nice. We would be world champions within probably by the end of his administration. Yes, absolutely I think you're on to something that was talking soccer. We have I got a Rick Raleigh joke. Yeah, do it. So Rick like sir Isn't soccer a perfect game for you with your tiny hands, sir. Oh Okay, I can't use your hands. Yeah, he can't get a handball. Yeah, that's actually really good. Yeah, it's very very good Hank we're gonna do our jail and Ramsey word association because guess what jail and Ramsey did another interview and he blasted everyone

This is kind of his thing And he who do you go after this time? So let's go down it He called AJ green soft called him a punk Okay, he said receivers are naturally soft and so sensitive a J. Green Met our rocks Refuel, yeah, rockin. Rock and refuel. Boom. Easy. Gronk Buddy It's my bud. Oh, who's up

I think I'm gonna take the past defense. Okay. Who else? What are the defense take the Jaguars Texans Chargers Broncos Saints? Titans Chargers gonna be good. Yeah Chargers defense Chargers defense and Houston defense can be really good, but they got a face Blake Portals twice here. Yeah, that's true. And Andrew luck Murders row. Yeah Okay, what what who else we got Gronk? We did Gronk. What do you jail and Ramsey say about Gronk? Anytime he's been matched up with a corner. He's had a very bad game in that corner has had a very good game That's just not that's not true at all

Yeah, you remember that time that he took the corner back and like through him you threw him up into the popcorn stand No, he like rock said he threw him out the club. Yes, he walked him up the stairs and threw him into the concourse Yeah, Gronk is the best tight end of all time. So, okay, Jalen Ramsey. I Says the Texans quarterbacks always suck. He said I could literally be Deondre Hopkins quarterback Yeah, that's probably true. Yeah, so I think he's right on the money. Well, Brandon Whedon True match up. Yes. So we're poking a lot of Brock Osweiler Yeah, so I don't think Jalen really did his homework That is some low-hanging fruit though to go after Texan quarterback Tom Savage. Yeah, like we know dude

Yeah, kind of awkward now at this point Danny and he said Danny amdola sucked and the only reason you got his contract was because of Tom Brady He's all sounds like he's done his homework on most things here. It's kind of true. Okay I need but talking about the Cowboys. He said I'll never play for them unless the Joneses leave the thing about damage Danny amdola He's he's surprisingly tall like he's like 511 Interesting, but he looks that tall. He walks short. He walks like he's five five five six Okay, he's like the opposite of me five eleven. It's not really tall Yeah, but he's taller than you think he is if I'd asked you

Oh, then you I know if I'd ask you right now, how tall do you think Danny amdola? I would have said somewhere like five five eight five seven. I don't think so Okay, that's you walk short five eight would be like really short for a wide receiver. Yeah, well, no There are plenty wide receivers who are five eight. All right, so Danny amdola. That's probably true. The Joneses. Oh, who do you have? Hank Hank I got one quarterback three running backs take a lot of savers one tight end one defense take another receiver take a kicker our quarterback James and Crowder Kelvin Benjamin Netanyahu. Hmm. He's fat Sterling Shepard too many buffalo. That's not a bad pick Crowder might not be a bad pick. He's a sunny Michelle. Okay. Who else?

Peyton Barber Allen herds Paul Richardson take Crowder. Who else for wider severs? Hank Or she's taking back up quarter docks in Kenny Gall Galladay Cameron Meredith Muhammad's camera there It's a new Kelvin Benjamin Netanyahu. Yeah, do it. Yeah fat, but it's fast No, so Josh Allen is not gonna be a little throw the ball to him. Yeah, it's actually the worst Yeah, but do it pick them take Crowder. Yeah, no, take Kelvin Benjamin. Okay

Should take another quarterback Kelvin Benjamin button because he gets shitty the older he gets. Yeah. Yeah. Good point Do we have any other roasts from Jalen Ramsey? The Joneses you said I'll never play for them unless the Joneses leave. That's kind of fair. Yeah, it's also fair I actually like Jalen Ramsey. Yeah, a lot of people are saying this time Yeah, a lot of people are saying that he likes to run his mouth too much. I like it I like everything that Jalen Ramsey said he also said that the Jacksonville Jaguars can win a Super Bowl with Blake Bortles Mm-hmm. So facts. Yeah, you know, it's not a lie. You cannot Okay, let's go to our thoughts and prayers for Patrick Reed. I didn't understand this tweet

Me neither. I think I understood it. Okay, then you why don't we as the biggest imagine dragons fan on this podcast I can put myself into Patrick Reed's head. Hank and I don't think that you understand it So why don't you explain it to us like like so there was like a pre-show meeting that I was invited to you were like Oh, PFT definitely doesn't get it But let's make him explain it to us so that we can see if he gets okay So Patrick Reed went to a Boston Red Sox game with his wife and his sister-in-law Okay, and he was put in the line drive zone. Is that what he called it? I think that's like just good Yeah, so he was complaining that he had to sit in the line drive zone while the rest of the PGA

All the other golfers that were there at the time were in the front row so the PGA gave him seats to the game and he was complaining because he thought it put his family in harm's way and So he paid extra money He had to pay extra money to get up to the front row. So a rich golfer who's been known as a dickhead Got seats away from everyone else because he's a dickhead Yeah, that wasn't a mistake and then come yet. No, definitely not and then complained that he had to pay money Even though he's very very rich to sit in the other good seats to upgrade to the front row seats And then a dickhead and then tweeted about it to complain to the PGA, but we kind of like Patrick Reed

He's like our guy. Well, he's a golf needs a dickhead, right? Yeah He probably just wanted to get closer to the clubhouse so he could pinch off like a wallet that was just laying out there Did you guys know that in China that there's nets all like all across the base pass covering everyone and there's Sections that people pay extra money for that aren't netted that are like dangerous. Oh, I like that. Yeah splash zone Yeah, yeah, that's nice. Yeah, I like that. Like hey Patrick Why don't you just bring a glove to the game and that way you can protect your family? Ooh, make baseball fun do nets all around and you can play it off the net. Mmm. That would be fun. That'd be fun Yeah, that would turn the nets into trampolines. Yes, really bouncing also fun also fun. Okay, last up

We have an explained to Hank wait breaking moves Breaking moves Larry the gambling goldfish is back. Yes, and you can go buy the shirt that Bubba created that is Fucking awesome. And if you buy the shirt you get certificate Saying that you are a shareholder and Larry the gambling goldfish by the way Larry the gambling goldfish. Oh good question So for all new listeners, you probably don't know every year around this time Football comes back and we buy a goldfish and we enter the goldfish into the Las Vegas Super Contest Which is like the five thousand it's like five thousand of the best gamblers

I think it's five. Is it two thousand two thousand the best gamblers in the world They pick five games every Sunday for NFL and the winner gets like a million dollars and Larry Larry the first year to finish Larry to finish 50th, so he was 60% pick game 60% we put it out 49 34 and 2 wow. So yeah, Hank has that too so Like if you buy Stock if you buy a shirt you not only have the shirt, which is awesome But you own stock in Larry so that if Larry finishes in the money, we will redistribute the funds

Depending on what our lawyers say so it's an investment. Yes, it's an investment not a Ponzi scheme not a Ponzi scheme and Investment and we said again for people in the back not a Ponzi scheme and an investment So go to the bar so sports store buy your Larry shirt you get your certificate We are going to be purchasing Larry next week. We also need to figure out how we're gonna get him signed up We might have to send Bubba on that flight to Vegas. I volunteer his tribute to go if Bubba can't okay We might not never I will try to figure that out tomorrow. Yes. Okay. Alright, so we are going to sign up Larry In the super contest and you can buy a stock and shirt in Larry now at the Barstow Sports Store. Okay Let's finish up with explain to Hanks

It's a grab bag, but the first one is explained to Hank. Yes, you know, I know Kendricks I thought I always thought it was Michael Kendricks. Is it now? Let's go with Mikhail. It's a Y. Yeah So Mikhail Kendricks got busted for insider trading cut from the Browns pretty much the worst 24 hours You could ever had because not only did he a cup from the Browns But he was on hard knocks Tuesday night bashing all his former teammates that he won a Super Bowl with then he gets busted for insider Trading then he gets bounced from the Browns now. He's without a job and he has to maybe go to jail Well, what's worse being without a job or playing for the Browns and for what good what good point? Yeah What does he have to go like why is he going to jail? Well, it's the crime. Okay, so good question Hank

You know what he did in that hard knocks when he told his new teammates about all his old teammates weaknesses Yep, even though he probably should have kept that to himself. Yep. That was actually insider trading for football So just imagine that but you're in a company. So if you find out something about Oh, I think that this company's gonna have a merger and then you tell your buddy to buy stock in that company because you work there Then that's insider trading, right? You can't do that, right? But if how do you get caught doing so if we were a stock pardon my take was a stock Larry let's say Larry No, no, no, but no follow me along if the part of my take was a stock We would be like hey

Random guy we're about to get an influx of some serious cash because everyone's gonna buy these stocks and shirts and their fucking suckers Maybe buy a stock beat by part of my take stock. We're gonna have a fucking huge quarter Then that's insider trading. Mm-hmm. That's all hypothetical. And yeah, you only get in trouble for it If you're not related to a politician. Yes, so that's an important distinction. And how do you get caught though? How do you get caught? Usually they just are like hey how'd that guy make a million dollars in like three weeks Yeah, usually it's when you do like a short-term buy and sell like that's just a little bit too conveniently timed Right, you know, it's like for example if you had

Well, I don't think it applies to sports So last year if you had put like a million dollars on the Jaguars to make the AFC championship game Knowing that Blake Bordell's head is risk-cleaned up and he was good to go. Mm-hmm Then that would be a way of you profiting off insider trading. Yes. All right. Here's another explain it to Hank They can't might be able to help with this one. How come when your nose is congested you can't taste anything you eat? Oh, I think your taste buds are in your nose, correct? They're on your tongue. Yeah, but in your nose You have both right, but your nose is connected to your tongue. Well, it's a simple answer

You just get too much boogers. Yeah, and so your your taste buds that are in your nose Can't pick it up because it's just all you smell is snot What Hank was alluding to there and I didn't mention it because I'm a warrior and I'll play through the game But I am I am podcasting with the flu. So thanks for your service. Yep. Shout out me Next here's a Jimbo. Hey fellas, especially Larry to rip the king facts Last week I drove over two hours to play golf only to realize upon my arrival that I forgot my clubs Yeah, it's pretty bad socks because hopefully you're playing with someone that has the same. No, but you can't share clubs Yeah, that you just become a burden. Yes

So now you have to buy clubs and like or you have to rent clubs and that's like 50 bucks Fuck that and well, okay. Actually spins up. Oh, what do we got? Do you have a backup quarterback yet? Nope. Okay. Get it back. Who do you have who's out there? Well, I mean, it's really a question between three people Mitchell Trubisky. Yes, good pick Blake Bordel's awesome. I already took off. So Mitchell and Bordel's take Bordel's Take Bordel's dude, are you really gonna take Mitchell? No, but Bordel's Bordel's number one writer. See we got hurt. I don't care Marquis Lee got hurt. I don't care So that's not fair. He'll just it's there Jacksonville does next man up

Mitchell, okay What were we talking about I don't remember if we're talking about golf clubs and how much it sucks Oh, but there's a golf clubs in zone you can just blame all your bad shots on the golf That's very true on your rental clubs. Yeah, or you could just go play real sport instead Yeah, that's God telling you not to play golf. Correct Here are some some roasts a fat guy and a guy with sunglasses who combined create one doobie, brother Talk about their nipples and attempt to give their producer a boner. Oh Okay, Hank good. Have you ever gotten turned on during an episode apart of my take? Nope

Not even when we not even a little not even when I do this Come on Hank Is it moving Hank nope, yeah, that's too bad try for him's Goldilocks a husky Papa bear with tasteful decaps and a baby bear with a speech impediment rude that is rude I don't even know I don't have a speech impediment. No, I got other problems, but I'm a speech impediment No, repeatedly taste the internal porridge even though they know it's too hot to people that tell each other They love each other as much as they do actually even love each other Well, listen, it's we taste the internal porridge because we're not pussies. Okay. Mm-hmm

So sometimes you just got to go down on that porridge that was kind of fucked up that they said that yeah That's part. You know what? I love you even more. Mm-hmm It's all this denial from this one to everybody except for this person. I love you. I Mean it. Yes, that's it. Okay. We'll see you on Tuesday Tuesday not Monday Tuesday Labor Day don't go into work on Monday Tuesday then Wednesday then Friday three shows still next week Rob Lowe coming Wednesday. Mm-hmm. We don't even know who we're gonna do on Tuesday. Well, yeah, we're gonna do somebody Yeah, somebody's getting done Tuesday and I'll tell you Sunday night who we're gonna throw out there 30 in the ramps

You mean the Joe Staley and Michael Glunchy. All right. Yeah, we're gonna do Joe Staley Michael Glunchy awesome interview with those guys That'll be on Tuesday. We'll see that everybody man the battle stations Sunday night coach. Oh Coach. Oh making a statement when come on the gate against Miami wonder dogs. You know what here's what you got You guys set your jar. You got it. You got step on up lingo Set your jaw. Love you guys on my face I'm on your head way you don't like I'm a necklace I'm on your head way you don't like I'm a necklace

I'm on your head way you don't like I'm a necklace I'm on your head way you don't like I'm a necklace