Pardon My Take - Chris Long On UVA's Title + Blake Bortles Wikipedia Club Is Back, EMERGENCY UPDATE - Magic Johnson

Episode Date: April 10, 2019

The Virginia Cavaliers are your National Champions. Recapping the improbable Virginia run from last year to this plus instant replay is getting scorched online (2:27 - 16:50). Hot Seat/Cool Throne including Space Jam 2 and Patrick Reed's Masters menu (16:50 - 36:22). 2X Super Bowl Champion and UVA Grad Chris Long joins the show to talk about the National Title Game, and the end of Virginia jokes online (36:22 - 53:51). Rams QB Blake Bortles joins the show to talk about his move to LA and choosing the Rams plus we read the Wikipedia's on Famous Floridians and the San Andreas Fault (53:51 - 77:27). Segments include Kings stay Kings for Skip Bayless, trouble in paradise Aaron Rodgers/Mike McCarthy, and Petty Wars Antonio Brown + Guys on Chicks. You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, we have two very good friends with Blake Bortles, little Blake Bortles Wikipedia club. But before that, we have Chris Long, two-time Super Bowl champion, and also a graduate from Virginia. He was at the national title, his hoos are no longer a national joke, so we talked to

him about the national title game. Why are they called the hoos? The hoos? Because who, who, who, who cares? That's what they say every time they have a football game. That was a mean shot. They won the national title, we're going to recap the national title. Hot Seat, Cool Throne, and because it is Wednesday, guys on chicks, before we get to all of that,

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Boy! Now in the street, there is violence, and then a lot of stuff work to be done. No place to hang out or wash in, and then I can't live all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue, and then we're taking higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue, and then we're taking higher. Welcome to Part In My Take, presented by our new presenting sponsor, Cash App. Thank you, Cash App, for being the presenting sponsor of Part In My Take. Today is Wednesday, April 10th, and the Cavaliers are champions again.

Yes, it's been a while. It has. It's been a while since Deli took them there. People forget the 3-1 lead. Yeah, that's true. Warriors blew it. But yeah, shout out to UVA. I think, you know what?

This was a big You Got Owned game for me personally. Yeah. Because I hand up. I got owned. I've been staying for the last week. Like, I'm rooting for Texas Tech UVA and the championship, because it's gonna be so boring. Turns out I was wrong.

Yeah. Now, not wrong a lot. No, listen. You thought exactly- I'm actually wrong about that too. Yeah, you thought what everyone else thought, and then everyone went on Twitter and been like, what happened to all these people who said it was gonna be a bad game? Like, yeah, you know what?

It turned out to be a great game. It was awesome. Yeah. It was a fantastic national championship. It had the perfect first two minutes where they were kicking the ball around. It was like 3-2, and Texas Tech started 0-8 from the field. But then it became great. There was big shots, good defense, compelling moments, instant replays that lasted forever.

The biggest thing, though, for me is UVA now becomes one of the coolest stories in all sports. Going from the loss to UMBC last year as a one seed to a 16 seed, never happened before, to then get all the way back and go to the national title and win the national championship. It's all like one story, and it all kind of erases. I feel like if they don't have that low, they don't get to this high. And if you look at how they got on this run, the three games, the Purdue game where they're down with three with five seconds left, the Auburn game, they're down four with 17 seconds

left, and the national title, they're down three with 12 seconds left. If you don't get to the rock bottom of losing to UMBC, I don't think you win those games because they had nothing to lose. Right. But yeah, they couldn't be killed this year. And you know what? It's a classic case of, yeah, they were lucky, they got lucky a lot. But you know what?

To me, it seems like the best teams are always the ones that get the luckiest. You can make the case like, oh, Tom Brady shouldn't have as many Super Bowls because the interception bailed them out at the end of the Seattle game. Vinniteri bailed them out in the playoffs at that first one. But you know what? It turns out that if you have luck that adds up a lot, you're probably just good. If you point to any championship team ever, there was a moment where they had the ball bounce their way.

That's just how it works. And yeah, of course, people will talk about the double dribble against Auburn. They'll talk about the review, you know, the Kyle Guy trip, the instant replay, ball out of bounds review. I throw all that out. Virginia was the best team this year. Their story is unbelievable. They were like robotic in the fashion that they just never, they never panicked.

They were always in it. They'd go five minutes without scoring. And they'd be like, you know what? We're still in it. Because their defense was suffocating. Yeah. Their defense was suffocating. And they really did.

I feel like at the end of games, when you have the embarrassment of losing to a 16 seed, the first ever to have that happen, I feel like you probably sit in the huddle and you're like, hey, guys, you can't get worse than that. That's true. So let's go play this last minute. Let's go see if we can make a shot. Let's go see if we can get a big three. It's true.

I'm just going to throw this out there. If anybody at UVA listens to this show, if anybody that works for the team, maybe give some rings to UMBC's team last year. Yes. Some championship rings. It's true. How bad do you feel if you are a senior that graduated last year? Terrible.

Are you happy at all? Are you psyched that your teammates, your former teammates got to win a big one? Or are you like, fuck, I really, was it me? Was I the big difference? No. I think you're a little happy just because people won't talk about the 16 seed upset as much. I think they will though, because that, like you said, it's always going to be tight.

It's all one story. But that story ends well. Like the story ends at the top of the mountain, so you don't look at it the same way. You don't look at it as an embarrassing moment. You look at it as a moment that got them to the finish line. You're like an ancillary character that gets killed off early in a movie, and then your death is avenged later on. Put enough years past and no one will even know which team you were on.

You get yourself a ring and no one will know. That's still got to be tough. Yeah, it definitely has to be tough. The other note I made from watching the first half last night, Hank, you okay? You still sick? No sneezes today. Yeah. I was actually dead on about my hotel, and I don't know, I ran the tape back, P.F.T.

I don't know if you listened back, but after you ruthlessly making fun of me for sneezing, which wasn't my fault, on Thursday, which was recorded before Sunday. Wait, say his quote though, on Monday's show, P.F.T. said, a sickness always starts somewhere. On Thursday's show, when we were recording the Monday reading, you sneezed, I blessed you and said, I'm not going to make fun of you for sneezing. So thank you for getting me sick. Oh wait, so you blessed me for sneezing. You said congratulations on sneezing.

I approve of that. No, I just blessed you. So you gave me a space. You blessed me so that your soul didn't leave your body. Hank declared the studio to be a safe place for sneezing, and now he's blaming me for everybody getting sick after they come in here. No, it was proven it was a hotel room. I stayed in the same hotel room, but it was a hotel room.

The other thing I wrote down, back to the game real quick, in the first half, it seems to me like all the first half unders were hitting on any game that's ever been played on an elevated floor, like in a football. But the over hit. Easily. Yeah, but in the first half. Oh. It takes time to figure it out, is what I'm saying.

Wait, but the over hit, the first half over hit, but it started slow as when I'm getting it. But the first half over hit, like big time. I'm just saying, I've noticed that teams, when they're on that, when they're on that raised floor. So you're saying like the first five minutes of the game. Big time. Got it.

I'm sorry for trying to open your eyes to a trend that I see develop. Well, I don't know how you'd profit off that trend. We'll figure that away. More basketball games should have the camera that they have on the baseline that like rolls with the action. Yes. I only see that during like the Final Four national change. Maybe when they bring the ball up, that's cool, but I don't like it when they keep it

on it because you get very confused. Yeah. The producer gets a little too excited and they want to play with their new Boogermobile toy too much. It's too much. And they're like, yeah, we're going to keep this. I hate it when that happens. But you're right.

When it's coming up the line, like it's like the 100 yard dash when they use that in the Olympics. That is it. That is very cool of a camera angle. So yeah, UVA. We're going to talk to Chris Long. He was at the game. It is though an incredible story because they, you know, we made fun of Mark Titus, who is

a friend of ours, but we made fun of him because he was always a UVA guy. And it was always fun to make the jokes about how UVA would dominate in the regular season. There were a one seed four out of the last six years and for them to dominate every regular season and never get to the Final Four, let alone win it. So I like I said, it's a very cool sports story. I think it's like one of those things where you step back, you're like, man, this is actually like why you watch sports for these kind of, uh, you're almost watching a 30 for 30 in real life.

You're watching it all happen where they go, have that embarrassing loss and get all the way to finishing. Kyle Guy, shout out to him for having his Twitter avatar be the loss to UMBC for this past year. Yeah. Motivation. That's big time. To finally get there.

And Texas Tech. I, I'll say this, Texas Tech, I would love to be a Texas Tech fan because their fans are fucking awesome. When we were in Minnesota, every Texas Tech fan was doing the guns up. Yep. They had a cowboy hat. They had a huge dip in and they looked like they were just ready to party. And it was like, those are the fans I want to be, I want to be friends with.

And that was a hell of a run by them. I wish they had just played a little clothe, like not, not tried to help in the lane with 12 seconds left and let Deandre Hunter wide open. That's someone who bet on Texas Tech, but still an unbelievable run for them. I also bet on Texas Tech. I felt that sting. And you're right. Every Texas Tech fan that I know or alumni that I know is just a very, very fun person

right because like, if you can have fun for four years in Lubbock, you can have fun anywhere. It might as well be on the surface of the moon. That's how far away it is from everything. They also want to make your own party with you. They also have like a monopoly on cool sayings and slogans. They have guns up where they can basically walk around going guns up. They yell raider and everyone yells back power. And they also have Wreckham.

Yeah. It's like the coolest fucking place ever. Pretty solid. Good come up for Texas Tech. I now officially consider you a basketball school as long as Chris Beard stays there. Do they also have, is that where the bell ringing guy is from that gift? Maybe, yes. Where it looks like he's cranking off.

Yes, maybe. I think he is from Texas Tech. So we're going to run with that. So yeah, they got truly everything there. I got a question for you, PFT. The other big story coming out of the national championship. People are very mad. This is finally the revolt against robots.

People are very mad about instant replay in all sports. But especially in college basketball, obviously we had the Saints and Rams. We didn't have J. Billis to tell us how bad it is over and over and over. But I think we're at that breaking point where it's very bizarre that people are, they're upset now that replay gets it right, but it takes too long, which I get the taking too long. But now I'm seeing the argument that people say, well, if it was called in a pickup game or if they just used like their gut, it would have gone one way.

But after the 47th replay, they got it right. Why are we mad about them getting it right? Because it's the rise of the machines. The machines, they're too good at their job. So what we've realized is a lot of times when the ball is being hit out of bounds out of somebody's hand, it turns out it hit, it touches the finger or the hand of the person who was holding the ball before it got hit out. And that's like, we know too much now.

If you get close enough to anything, you're going to not like what you see. It's like those Impressionist paintings, you know? Poinalism. Poinalism. Yeah. It doesn't matter if it's the Mona Lisa or any other painting, that's really the only one that I know. It's just a swath of oil.

If you get super close to it, all you see is like Da Vinci's jizz that he accidentally wiped off on there one time. And then like a little bit of brown and you're like, oh, this sucks. You need distance from something. So now that we've let the toothpaste out of the tube, I don't know if there's a way to walk it back. Because you can't just look at a replay and we're seeing the same thing in baseball over the last couple of years when somebody's sliding into second base and there's a pop-up.

There's a pop-up or there's a moment where, you know, the shoulder comes off the ground and the foot touches the bag. The tag comes off. Yeah. Exactly. So we're finding out too much from these machines. So I don't know if there's a solution to it. There is.

Besides just accept the fact that your eyes aren't as good as a robot sometimes. Okay, here's my solution. We should just have a shot clock on the replays. Because that would be thrilling. If the ref only has a certain amount of time, you need to get J. Billis to shut up. And you basically, like, if they can't find the replay fast enough, guess what? Tough shit. And get the home crowd involved that, like, if it's in a way, if they're reviewing a

call that might go for the away team, the home crowd starts like, five, four, three, two. Yeah, that would be great. And maybe he has, like, a one flag in one hand and the other and he raises it up and everyone's like, oh my god, that's going that way or booze everywhere. I like that idea. Also, the replay should be done in standard definition. So that's a very easy way to rewind the clock on this.

This is the whole Roger Goodell thing. What would 20 drunk guys in a bar call this, a catch or not? Going back to standard definition makes you feel like you're intoxicated already. It's blurry as shit. That would be actually a great way to tell. Or the other way you could do it is just don't listen to Twitter ever. Because no matter what, someone's going to complain about something. Now, and to prove your point, the other thing that's come under fire recently is the one

thing that I thought was the most universally loved part of college basketball. And that is our one shining moment. So Jimmy Kimmel is squatting on the take. I think he's squatting. I don't think he actually means it yet. This seems like a premature take squat and his point in which case I will take off my hat and say, do your thing, sir. But he said that one shining moment lived out its one shining moment 15 years ago.

That it's not cool anymore. And then that's when Jimmy stopped being a guy's guy. Wait, yeah. That's when he lost the man's show. That's when Damashack lost him, yeah. Hold on. People are saying that the song we listened to once in an entire year is like bad now. Yeah.

Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. They're burned out on it. Dude, we listened to it once. Yeah. But Christmas Carols can't be played. Jimmy's going to be like, let's replace it with Old Town Road. That fucking Mariah Carey song, the stupid Paul McCartney song, the Glow Live in Heaven.

Wonderful Christmas time. Mariah, yeah. That song sucks. But you know what? When it's December, you listen to it. The song I'm sick of is Old Lang Zined on New Years. Come on. This is a terrible take by Jimmy Kimmel.

This is a true not sports fan take, except for the fact that Darren Ravel ruined it. Yeah. So, well, the other part of this, which is other journalists were getting upset that during this year's one shining moment, they left in some of the announcers talking over it instead of just showing it. So it was kind of like respect the biz, one shining moment should strictly be instrumental at all times. Everything sucks now.

And people are mad that there was too much Zion in it. Yeah. The remix of one shining moment this year was trash. To quote my friend, Ice T, did you guys see his tweet yesterday? Yeah. That's the way to do it. Get on Twitter. Talk a little shit.

Get off. Back to life. That's what you got to do. Because one shining moment is great, minus the Darren Ravel being like the thirst. Darren Ravel is the thirstiest man on Twitter. Can I make a recommendation? For a recommendation? Because he's gotten so, so thirsty and he literally stands by a water cooler.

This turned out as perfect for Darren as it possibly could have. Ever. All like little Marionettes. That's why I refuse to tweet about it. I think I didn't. No, I don't think I tweeted about it. Okay. Good.

We're not using his name anymore on the show. Okay. We're not giving him the attention. He's so very deeply craved. He can still come on the show if he gets on his knees, makes a video and sends a tank. But other than that. Wait. Is that the rule?

Yeah. We said he's going to do that yesterday. No, he won't. He's going to do that on Hong Kong. No, he won't. Too shook. Yeah. Too shook.

He won't. He won't. He thinks he's going to wait. He's given him what he wants, but he has to like degrade himself and he won't do it. I think he really thinks that he will just wait and eventually will be like, oh yeah, come on. Come on the show, dude. I think he'll be totally fine.

He hasn't done it yet. He knows this is out there. You know what's going to be weird also is the orange vanilla Coke commercials. Those are gone now. I have to assume. But you know what? We're going to be wrong. We're probably going to see him again in like the NBA playoffs or the NHL.

They'll figure out a way. No, stop. It's just a limited time deal. Buy your orange vanilla Coke during March and then let's all forget this nightmare. You're drinking it, which is disgusting. I'm drinking orange vanilla zero sugar. Why would you do that? Because I had it in my reservoirs and I had, I got to deplete my stash for March until

I can totally move on. It's April. We sleep in May. Yeah. Okay, emergency late breaking this league bonus part of this podcast. We're going to slip it in right in the middle of the show. We're going to slip it right in. You won't even know it's there.

PFT. This league. Holy shit. Let's just say this league. This league. 10 minutes back and forth. This league. This league.

Oh my God. This league. The NBA. This league, man. Not going to like it. It actually wasn't an insane night. So Magic Johnson before Dwayne Wade and Dirk Nowitzki play their last game in the NBA and have an unbelievable send off bullscoring 30 points.

Magic Johnson steals the whole night and announces that he is stepping down as president of basketball operations from the Lakers. Not telling Genie Bust directly. Just doing a press conference and saying, oh yeah, I'm not going to be here anymore. And it's the weirdest, most magic, most, I don't even know. It's this league. We all thought when he did it, we're like, oh, he is upset because he can't tamper as president.

And so he wants to retire to spend more time with his tampering. And then he literally said that. Yes. He was like, I want to be a free bird. Right now I'm a cage bird and I'm not allowed to hit up Russell Westbrook and say, hey, congrats on the 2020-20. I can't contact other stars in the league until I'm proud of him. I can't work out with Ben Simmons and hang out with, you know, with him beat and do all

this new, you know, cool stuff. This is rock bottom for his tampering addiction. It really is. It's like you're in a meeting. Tell me about your rock bottom. I got, I got so addicted to tampering that I quit my job as president of the Los Angeles Lakers. He's been sitting there with the phone open and the Twitter app open being like, I just

want to say congratulations Dwayne on a great career. But I can't because I've been tampering and that's the best part is that like he could do that. He just tampered so hard and remember the Jimmy Kimmel stuff that now he's scared and he has to quit his job so that he can go back to tampering. But he actually quit because this is very magic. Like it's the most absurd move to quit, not tell your boss, be in meetings the day before. And that was the famous like, I'm not going to be here next year quote.

He's talking about a meeting he was in yesterday where they were talking about the future of the team. And he was just going like, yep, yep, good plan, good plan. In the back. Just totally checked out. Not going to be here. By the way, that's an awesome feeling. If you've ever known that you're going to leave a job and you're in those meetings,

holy shit. And you're just totally checked out and you feel great about it. Someone's like, Hey, can you make sure that we take care of this big project? It's like, yep, sure. Yeah. I'll take the lead on that. But this is also like so, so it's, it's crazy, but at the same time, completely magic Johnson. Because this is his move.

He is a rich, famous person who can get any job in the world. And I think every now and then he's like, Hey, that would be fun. It could be fun to be, you know, on TV, it'd be fun to be president of the Lakers. And then after, I don't know, six months, year, two years, he's like, wait, why do I have a job? Yeah, I don't need a job. I'm like Billy. I just own a bunch of Starbucks and movie.

He's like a billionaire. Literally a billionaire. Right. Yeah. I think what happened with magic was he got to the part of his job where he has to do it all over again. And you can love doing your job, right? You can absolutely love certain parts and tasks in your job.

But once you're done with a certain part of it and you have to start over and do it all over again, if you are like, oh, shit, this sucks, eventually that's going to wear you down. You're going to want to leave that job. Yes. So he gets to the end of a season. He probably likes it during the season when he's making calls, trying to get Anthony Davis.

I don't even think he's doing that. Yeah. But whatever he does during the season, going to games. Going to Michigan State Games and pretending it's scouting. Yeah. So he likes going to Michigan State Games. He likes going to games at the Staples Center when they're good. Yeah.

Those are the fun parts of his job. Then the season's over and it's like, oh, shit, it just dawns on him. I have to do all the draft stuff again. I have to get LeBron a star. I got to go to Summer League games. But he wouldn't do any of this. Right. But there are certain things about a job where you can really enjoy part of the process,

but then when it's time to repeat it, you're just like, shit, this is not for me. It's like, anyone can sell a Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving. It takes a man to sell a Christmas tree on December 26th. That's true. And he probably wasn't going to do any of that stuff anyway, but he probably was like, I have to call up with an excuse why I don't want to go to Summer League and why I can't get LeBron another star and why I screwed up. So his legacy, it also was perfect timing because he was just starting to get the hot

seat. But the Paul George thing was kind of a debacle. The Anthony Davis thing was kind of a debacle. Like he obviously gets LeBron, but he can't get him another star. He does the, the, the, the, uh, Zubat for Mascala trade. Everyone hated the D'Angelo Russell thing was, was, has become a debacle because D'Angelo Russell is a true star now. So it's like, just as the seat gets a little warm and he knows that LeBron will probably

fire him, uh, in like the next few months, he's like, I'm getting the fuck out of here. I'm going on my yacht. I'm going on vacation with cookie and it's going to be great. Do you actually think that LeBron James is going to fire magic? Cause I think LeBron is going to fire everyone if they don't get another star. I don't think he would have fired magic. Oh, I think LeBron scared of magic. I think he, magic is one of the guys that he sees as like untouchable cause magic can

finance space jam three, four and five all on his own. He can just cut a check. I think LeBron is at the point. If they don't get another star, every head is rolling there. Well, he is going to, he'll, he'll go all the way up the ladder. He'll probably tell Jeannie bus. She's fired. My theory.

Yeah. I'll try. Yeah. You're fired. It shows up again. Yeah. My theory is that magic quit the way that he did because he was afraid that Jeannie bus was going to talk him out of it.

Oh, the classic like, I didn't want, I didn't want Jeannie bus to say, Hey, magic, we really need you. This is a good thing we're doing here. Yeah. Yeah. Because I think magic likes Jeannie enough. You said that to Rachel Nichols. Oh, really?

I didn't see the interview yet. Sorry, Rachel. That was a good call. Also stopped by Rachel. Yeah. I was in Hong Kong time. My body's, my body's jet lag. So I actually reported that 12 hours ago from magic Johnson's mouth to PFT's ears via Rachel

Nichols. Yes. First reported by you. Got it. Uh, yeah. So insane that magic Johnson does all this stuff, uh, walks away, dumpster fire through Luke, like Luke Walton under the bus little, it's, it's throw Luke Walton under the bus season.

He basically, if you, if you want to take a shot at anyone, just taking it Luke Walton, but he actually got a longer stay now because of it. Yes. Yeah. Like he thought he was going to be fired today. He would have been fired today. You mean like probably like by four days. It also, you know, when it's like, I mean, or you don't know what it's like, but if

you're like, think you're going to get fired, it's always good when you don't get fired. Right. That's true. We should bring up though, the fact that it is completely hilarious that magic Johnson did that. He could have done this at any point. He does it an hour before, before the Lakers game and also during Dirk and Dwayne Wade's retirement like last game, completely stealing the scene from them.

And it was a all time this league night, Dwayne Wade and Dirk. That was actually a really nice, they, they both, they both had good nights, good send offs. Jamal Crawford scored 50 points fourth, a first player to do it and with four different teams, which is awesome. And then the other, this league moment, uh, Anthony Davis wearing a, that's all folks shirt. Yeah.

And also, uh, Steph Curry getting his yearly sprained ankle so that now when the playoffs start, we can say is Steph really a hundred percent, if he starts sucking, that was actually the perfect timing for him to roll his ankle. Katie is very excited about this update. Katie is so, so pumped. Who rolled, who rolled, uh, harder, Steph's ankle or my eyes when I saw that Steph rolled his ankle and everyone's going to be like, well, Steph, when he goes, when he goes like, oh, you know, two for, for 12 in the first round, well, he's not a hundred percent

guys. I'm just saying Steph, maybe it's time that you consider having your signature shoe be a high top. Yeah. Or ankle braces. Or just ankle braces. ankle braces. They look pretty sweet.

I just want to do it kind of to a hand up segment. Yeah. Hand up. I got home, I turned on the ESPN, I was watching. It wasn't the Budweiser commercial, but it was like a Dwayne Wade tribute video. Oh, we knew you. Wait. This is going to go in before this.

Oh. So this is even crazy. So you're pre-apologizing. Yeah. That's what we do. But then I watched the highlights and I, when I realized that Dwayne Wade has every heat record, I like realized that ruins LeBron legacy even more. So I kind of, I kind of came down off my Dwayne Wade hate.

Okay. So LeBron's like the best, he wasn't even the best heat player of all time. Yeah. He's not going to be the best Laker of all time. Right. Yeah. And the calves, who cares about the calves? Oh wow.

Okay. So what Hank's doing right now, he's a pre-apologizing for a take that he'll have later on in the show where he says essentially that the Dwayne Wade commercial sucked and that he doesn't like Dwayne Wade and that Dwayne Wade should die on a fire. It's actually a really good take though, Hank, because like, when you think about it, like when someone says, oh, all time calf record books, you're like, who cares? You know? And then, but he actually have, you know, one of the forces LeBron James, right?

Of course. Yeah. He's the only player that's played in Cleveland for that many years. Yes. Yes. That's actually, okay. It's like Mark Price and LeBron James. So yeah.

Let's tune in for a minute. In a minute now, Hank is going to bash Dwayne Wade, the commercial he did. And his son. And his son. And all that stuff. But yeah. All time this league moment. Stay woke.

Magic Johnson retiring like 12 hours before the Masters part three tournament. Oh, he'll be at the Masters. He's going to Augusta. Oh, he'll be at the Masters. This was all sped up by the approaching arrival of the Masters. And how about the NBA playoffs? He wants to go to games. Yeah.

He like, if the Lakers had made the playoffs, Magic probably would have kept the job because he'd been like, you know what, I get to go to a few games. He wants to go to some games. Does magic go to any Clippers games? Yes. Because he's a member, member of the classic. What's the fucking, what's the old racist guy's name? Don Sterling.

Okay. Member of the classic interview. You could, you could have done any number of ways that way. He's like, what is big magic Johnson? What has he done? He's got AIDS. Remember that? That was like his last interview ever.

So yeah, I do think there was a rumors at the time that Magic Johnson wanted to buy the Clippers. It's such a, it's such a fucking preposterous clip. But a magic Johnson definitely, because it is what's going to happen in the next year or two. Magic's going to be like, wait, I want another job. So maybe I'll just buy a team and then he'll someday just sell the team in the middle of the night.

Well, no, we'll wait till maybe LeBron retires and then he'll announce right before he retires that he's selling whatever team he does buy and steals that spotlight. Yep. So good job, magic. Okay. That was emergency update. I think we got to the bottom of everything. Yeah.

Now back to the right regular scheduled show. If you listen to this, you have the updated one. If you aren't listening to this right now, you're trapped in a time portal. Attention to everyone who's not listening to this right now. Redownload. Yes. Redownload. But you can't hear this.

Hot seat, cool throne. You want to do it? Sure. All right. Let's do it. Hank. Okay. Thanks.

My hot seat is Space Jam 2. Oh. Oh no. Which I don't know if you guys knew, it's being executive produced and starring LeBron James. Okay. It's having a very hard time recruiting co-stars to join the movie. He's scared he'll alienate them and sub-tweet them on Space Jam Instagram or whatever.

He just thought that he was going to sign up for the movie and since all the players, you know, they probably watch it growing up, they idolize MJ that everyone would want to do it because, you know, he's LeBron. But apparently that's not the case. Giannis. Giannis. People get mad at me when I say Giannis, but I like saying it Giannis. Best player in the world probably.

He denied him. He doesn't like being Hollywood. He doesn't want to do it. And I guess there's been a ton of other players because, you know, they don't, they're worried about if they go to the movie, then they're going to have to potentially play with him on his team. Oh. And he might alienate them and not pass them.

So he's having trouble recruiting for his movie and for his basketball team. So which one takes precedent? That's the question. That is the question. What would the most hilarious team of Space Jam 2 be? Well, I- Carmelo. Yeah, Carmelo because it's not coming out until 2021.

So by the time it comes out, it'd be like, who's that guy? Kyle Korver. All right. Carmelo, Kyle Korver, probably Dirk and Dwyane Wade both are going to be on the team. It does. Hasem. Dirk would never do it. Hasem definitely will be there.

Not Chris Bosch anymore. No. Not after what happened last week. Not Chris Bosch. Oh, what about, what's his name? Tyloo. Tyloo will probably be on the team. What was it?

What was his brother for life? Damon, from like way back in the calves. Was it Damon Jones? Damon Jones. Yeah. He'd be on it. Delante? Delante.

Well, no, his uncle for life. True. True. Yeah. Actually, if LeBron wants a little tip for you, LeBron, if you want to fill your Space Jam two roster with guys who want to watch, just get every coach that you've gotten fired and we'll watch it. Mm hmm.

Like I'd watch Space Jam two with starting center, David Blatt, point guard, Tyloo, power forward, Mike Brown, like Luke Walton, not even there because he's got so fired. Derek Spolstra with Pat Riley's hand up his butt. It'd be great. Make him talk. I'll watch that. It is kind of a rock and a hard place because Blake Griffin, you know, he would be good in the movies, a good actor and he'd probably be good in that role.

But I hope he turns him down. I think if we took your suggestion, Big Cat, except didn't even have it on a basketball court and just had those guys in a room. Boardroom. Boardroom. Barbershop. Yeah, Barbershop. Space Jam two, they give sick haircuts.

Yeah. And it's just those coaches in a room talking shit about LeBron James. I would watch it. I'd watch it. Yes. Bestseller of all time. And then just remind everyone, because they remind everyone that R. Kelly was part of Space Jam one, so you can get that canceled again and then Space Jam two would be great.

I hope cartoon characters start to disavow his team too. I hope Bugs Bunny is like, I can't make it. Yes. I got a lot of prior commitments. There's also, they're filming it over the course of two summers, so if they get like a shitty cast, that's going to weigh on them for the entire course of the next year. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

My cool throne is just hype entertainment people. There's so much shit going on that I feel like every single day, like everyone's excited, but there's like 10 different things that they're the most excited for. We're too hyped. No, it's not a bad thing. Like there's just a lot of good shit coming down the pipeline. We might be too hyped. The Masters people.

Old Town Road has been awesome. Old Town Road, although I'm... Whoa. You're getting burned out on it. Whoa. We are at Cowboy Jacks. They put it like literally on repeat for... Every end.

It's only a minute long. This was fucking weird. I didn't even mention this. At the rugby tournament in Hong Kong, they're obsessed with David Hasselhoff. That makes sense. They played that one David Hasselhoff song. This is no joke over the course of two days. They played it literally 70 times.

He's like the biggest pop star in German history, right? Yeah, but this is Hong Kong. Yeah, I know, but Germans are everywhere. It was fun to sing along with. I'll give him that. But then the Masters, I feel like that's the thing that people, you know, it's a great tournament, but people get overhyped for it, whereas they don't really care about golf. Ooh, I disagree.

I disagree. But they don't care. People don't care about golf. You can't overhype the Masters. Take your microphone off. That's a bad take. The Masters deserve all the... No, no, no.

You can't overhype. So you're a bad take. I'm saying the Masters is on. All right. Easy. The hype-kiddle. Damn. Game of Thrones, obviously everyone's freaking out about it.

We're only a week away. Yeah. Can't wait. And then Avengers Endgame. I feel like they release clips from that movie every day. They're just putting out the movie. Okay. So, wait, I want to make sure that we're on the same page here.

Hype is good, but you're saying that the things that are getting overhyped right now are in danger of being bad. Hype is on the cool throne. There's a lot of hype out there. Yeah. But some hype is too much hype? I would say that the Masters hype that people are like, oh, I can't... Oh, that's a bad take here.

I can't wait to like... People watch them. They watch on Sunday. You know what, Hank? No, they watch... Oh, Hank. Listen, Hank. Yeah.

Bad take, yeah. Bad take, yeah. They watch all weekend. It's great. It's the perfect... The Masters app. The color green on the greens and the fairways. Green and yellow.

And in Augusta. That is the perfect pantone for putting dads to sleep. Oh, Hank. So you guys are hyped. Oh, I'm very hyped about relaxing and watching... Very hyped. Very hyped. And actually, we should mention, do you have Patrick Reed's menu anywhere on your hot seat?

Okay, go on. Go. All right. My hot seat is carbs, fats, and sodium for me personally, because I'm on a diet. It's time for a diet. This is, I think, the first time I've actually ever been on a diet my adult life. That's not true. Well, we were Keto for a while.

You've done it like four times on the show. Yeah, but we didn't really follow through. And this time, I'm going to follow through. Okay. Besides the Keto... What day is it? I've definitely been on diets. Tuesday nights.

No, but day one of your diet. This is day one. Okay. All right. It's day one of my diet. Checking in a week. Yeah, checking in a week. Well, listen, Hank, I caught a very bad...

You don't need to diet. I caught the worst visual of myself I've ever seen on a Jumbotron. And you think the camera adds 20 pounds, like being on a Jumbotron with your shirt off, with your belly hanging over your shorts. The camera adds like 1.5 Kelvin Vengements when you're on a Jumbotron. I don't like when you do the diet thing because you're not in bad shape. You're actually in good shape. This again.

No, I'm not. Listen, people who struggle with their weight, you don't appropriate the culture. You want me to show you a picture? I've seen the picture. You look just like you've looked for the last year. I don't think that you've seen the new picture. Oh, I saw it. It's taken from far away.

No, I saw it. Yeah, I saw it. Well, it was one of those moments where I saw it. I didn't see it. Okay. Anyways, no more sodas after I'm done with this one. No more beers, as a matter of fact. This isn't even a segment.

This isn't even a real segment. This is just your week. Yeah, you're not going to stop drinking beer. I am. I'm going claws up for the caps this year. I was talking to Liam about this earlier. We're drinking white claws only. That's like sugary as shit.

Claws up? No, it's not. Low sugar. I'm going to the seltzer flavor. Claws up. That's what I'm doing. Caps here. That looks like the TCU horn frog.

This is claw. Claws up. Claws up. Okay. I would like some support because I am serious about this. You don't need to diet. I'll let you know when you need to diet. You're fine.

You're fine. Yes, you're fine. You're fine. You've got a little bit of a belly that you're sticking out right now. I'm not sticking it out. That's a problem. You're fine. You need a new belt is what you need.

Yeah, I just found this one. It looks like a middle school belt. Yeah, it is. All right. I'd just like a little bit more support because I am serious about this diet. When you get fat, I'll give you support. If you go on a diet for more than 10 days, I'll take you seriously. Yeah.

Okay. Thanks guys. My cool throne is all the former Masters champions because Patrick Reed put together a hell of a menu for them. He basically, this is the type of menu that you would plan if you're like 19 years old and you had a graduation dinner and you just know that you like steak and then you like every single vegetable with cream and like how many cream things do you have? He's got two cream things.

So he's got Caesar salad, wedge salad, which they made him do. Yeah. And he's probably had a Caesar before and he's like, okay, yeah, that's fine. That's good. That's good. Good sauce. Yeah. I like the coutons.

Yeah. He's got prime bone in cowboy ribeye and then he's got mac and cheese, cream spinach, corn creme brulee and then steamed broccoli, which someone held a gun to his head to get that steamed broccoli on there. No, his mom was just like, Hey, Patrick, I like, I like broccoli. Yeah. He was like, fine mom, we'll order one. Well, he doesn't speak to his mom.

Oh, really? I remember. Oh, that's right. His mom, but his mom still came to his defense. Correct. He kicked his parents out of a fucking tournament one time. That probably got her back in his good graces just so that she could ask for the broccoli on the menu.

He's going to, oh my God, he's going to like hide the broccoli under a napkin. Yeah. No ways you want that broccoli. No, he's a guy that like takes one bite and then spits it into the napkin and then throws it on the floor. I'm surprised. My, if I were to plan Patrick Reed's master's menu from what I, what I know about Patrick Reed, I would think it would just be all these catering trays and then they're just filled

with smear and off ices and just ices everybody that's, uh, that's at the dinner with them. Maybe some pigs in a blanket. Yes. For himself. For himself. Yeah. Yeah. He, it is hilarious.

This menu really is like what, what, what like a 14 year old would think an adults menu looks like. Yes. He basically was forced to be like, well, I like steak and, and I don't really like anything else. I like macaroni and cheese. I'm surprised. Chicken fingers weren't on here.

It's a grilled cheese. They're like, no, you can't do that. Patrick, please. Yeah. It doesn't say anything about drinks. Does it? Uh, yes. It has a couple of bottles of wine.

Okay. He's got a Chardonnay and a cab option. And then the dessert is weird. It's tiramisu. Tiramisu is overrated, by the way. Hmm. It depends on where you're going. It depends on where you're going.

Vanilla bean, creme brulee, chocolate crunch and praline cheesecake. I see. If I would have thought Patrick would just go straight serial for dessert or various types of, of count chocolate. Or just pass out bottles of chocolate syrup and glasses of milk, like make your own, make your own chocolate milk. Yeah. And that's a little life back there.

If, if you're having a wedding or any sort of formal occasion, just call it a bar. And the trick is you make everybody actually make their own food for themselves, but you call it a bar. So it seems fun. It's like, Hey, we got a chocolate milk bar. We got a cheesecake bar. Cheesecake bar, guys. This is crazy.

You even have an oven that you have to put it in and wait for four hours. Yes. All right. You got anything else? All right. I had some more, but you know what? Go ahead. No, I'm fine.

No, I'm fine. I'm fine. I just don't feel supported. Go ahead, PFT. We hope you do well on your diet. No, you don't. Yeah, I don't think you believe that. I want you to do well.

You're not, you're not in bad shape. So good luck on your diet. I'm like 30 pounds heavier than I've been in my life. That's, I don't believe that. You haven't changed your, you look the exact same. Thank you. I appreciate that. Okay.

So you're good. All right. There you go. That compliment should propel you. Yeah, I am. I'm going to play off beard right now. Nice. Claws up for the caps on the playoffs.

Nice. What else you got? My other hot, or my other cool throne is bees. So I don't know if you guys saw the story today. They found a colony of bees living inside a woman's face. And she thought that it was like a sinus infection. What? And they were.

Okay. Yeah. I wish you hadn't done this. They're feeding on her tears. PFT, you're fat and you're going to get in good shape. Yeah. That's not real. That's not real.

It is real. Nope. You want to bet? Fuck that. Nope. All right. My hot seat. I can't do that.

Yes, I do. I don't. There's no way there's living bees like flying inside of someone's face. Ugh. I'm telling you. Yeah. I was right calling that single hornet thing out because these fuckers are resourceful. Okay.

In Taiwan, what was originally, oh, come on. What? I was just over next to Taiwan. It could have been me. Yeah, it could have. What was originally thought to be an eye infection turned out to be something far worse. Instead of treating an infection, doctors at the university hospital in Taiwan were shocked to find four bees embedded in the eye of a 29-year-old Taiwanese woman.

This is not real. This is clickbait. They love to do this. It's smart. We should be doing it to them. Like anywhere else, they can just clickbait us with fake stories that make us go, ugh. I'm pretty sure it's real. If I'm wrong, I'm going to blame the time difference.

My body's very confused right now. Again, just got back yesterday. I feel like Andy Reed is managing my body clock right now. It's struggling. I'm confused. Yes. It was worse to fight there or fight back? Fight back, by far.

I would have batted him. Because fight back, I was sitting in straight-up coach. Oh. For 16 hours. Oh. Yeah. That was very... Fuck.

I watched a bunch of movies. If anybody out there has seen The Lobster, what the fuck? That was the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. Who's in it? Colin Farrell. What the fuck? It was tough. It was tough.

No, it was bad. I like him, too. All right. My hot seat is, I got two. Chris Davis on the Orioles. Over 49. MLB record. Oh.

49. He's dead. That's insane. I actually feel bad for him. Those are Bryce Harper-like stats for the month of late May, early June. Oh, 49 in a row. I thought the record might be a little bit bigger than that. I did, too.

But I guess, I guess not, because that's a lot of played appearances. Like that's, I mean, that's what, like 12, 13 games? That's a lot of games to not get one hit. Does he have any walks or fielders' choices? I don't know about that. I think he has a couple RBI's. Because maybe he's over 28 this season. So, big dates back to last year.

Over 28 this season with 15 strikeouts. Okay. That's insane. But he does have some RBI's. So, these are productive outs that he's getting. Yeah. It's productive over 49. All right.

That's fair. My other hot seat is us, because we said that we were sick of the Dwayne Wade retirement party, and then he dropped an absolute awesome video that just grabbed at all of our heart strings. Hank, you have not watched the video? No. What's your hottest take about the video that you're going to really regret when you do watch the video?

I don't really have a hot take about the video. I just think, you know, Dwayne Wade's overrated. But the video? Couldn't even make the playoffs in the last year. Some things are bigger than sports. Yeah. That's not, I mean, that's Budweiser. Budweiser paid a lot of money.

They're really good at making heart string commercials. They're very good at that. Advertiser? The Clydesdale. No. I'm saying Budweiser is great. They made someone like Dwayne Wade seem really likable. They made people like...

Yeah, but he, like, it was the things that he did. Again, you have not seen the video. Do you think that Dwayne Wade's a very unlikable person? Yeah, kind of. Why? I don't think so. He gets his butt eaten. He smiles.

He's very fast and good. He kind of alphas LeBron. Yeah. You should like Dwayne Wade out of anyone. Yeah. Yeah. I'm ready for him to be done. I don't like the whole retirement tour thing.

Again, you have not seen the video and I think when you see the video, you realize you're being an asshole right now. You just don't like anyone that's come in contact with LeBron. Yeah. I mean... Like, after, you know, his son was talking shit about Paul Pierce, his son's in high school. Like, who is he to talk shit about, you know, a future first round, first ballot hall famer?

I'm excited to be rooting against Dwayne Wade's son when he comes in the NBA. Zaire. Zaire. I'm already ready. You already got him circled. I got my hat fired up. Yeah. Okay.

My cool throne is the New York Knicks. So, the New York Knicks have signed Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving. It's a done deal, some people are saying. All that is left is for them to decide who signs first, because apparently the person who signs second looks like a follower. Ooh. That is an actual report that was written about, Frank Isola wrote it, so he said, so sure are some executives and players, player agents of a Durant Irving pairing in New York

that one agent told the athletic that Durant and Irving are debating on who will sign first. Why is that important? Because the player that is signed second is viewed as the follower, not the leader. Oh my God. They got to do it simultaneously. This league, this league, you guys, yeah, they got to, they should just, here's what they should do. You can add somebody on an Instagram Live, and so they should just do a simultaneously.

Who started this? Who starts the Instagram Live? That's another trick. That's tough. How many people can you add on Instagram Live? I don't know. I think there's one. Just one, so you can't have like, you can't have Dwayne, or you can't have James Dolan

started and then add, well, Katie definitely doesn't follow James Dolan on Instagram. But I love that this is now a thing. Yeah. Where the super teams, we're so deep into super teams that we have to, we're just debating who signs first. Mm-hmm. Now, are the Nix's super team, if they get those two guys? And Zion.

Just those two guys though. And Zion. Just those two, yeah. Still super team? Super team? Three. I think you need to pick three. They'll get someone else.

Mm-hmm. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Is Ron Baker still on the Nix? Is Ron Baker the money maker? I think so. Yeah. All right, so there's your super team. Okay.

Boom, done. Charles Oakley should come back. I truly believe that. If you get Kyrie and Katie on the Nix and then bring back Charles Oakley for no reason, but you just kick anybody's ass that talks trash to them. Just stare at people. I'm all, yeah, just, yeah, he doesn't even have to do anything. I'm all in on the Nix if that happens.

Yeah, I'd agree with that. All right, let's get to our interviews. First up, we got Chris Long, who was at the national championship game last night. He is a Virginia grad. He's very, very excited for his Hoos, who have won the national title, and then we're going to do Blake Bortles. Before we do that, a word from our friends at Dollar Shave Club. I love that Dollar Shave Club has everything I need to look, feel, and smell my best.

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Okay, here he is, Chris Long. Okay, we now welcome on our good friend, national champion, Chris Long. He played at Virginia, Virginia is his home, he's a two-time Super Bowl champion. Chris, you were at the game. I want to go a two-part question to start, explain the scene, your feelings, the entire emotion, and then also tell us which botch call by the refs helped Virginia win the title the most. Well, my emotions were more like relief than anything.

I mean, being a Virginia fan, I mean, it's like a lot of people that are just tuning in to being a Virginia sports fan are realizing that we got some lucky breaks this year, which is like totally counter to the entire history of our athletic program. So we're not generally a lucky team. We've gotten some lucky breaks, but it was more like a relief for me. I mean, no national championships in football or basketball, you know, waiting my entire life as a UVA fan to see that. So I know a lot of my buddies who were there were ecstatic, they were also relieved.

But here's the thing, I mean, like people are jumping on, you know, you've been texting me like stop arguing, dude, like you won the national championship. But I'm reading articles, bro, that that are like, like people are mad last night that they went to the replay and got the call right. When the ball went off that cat's pinky, like, like there are tweets where people are like, why would they do that? It was just as pinky. I'm like, all right, we get it.

They missed the double dribble, which no one saw over the weekend. No one saw until territory got on and talked about it, but they also missed Auburn traveling on the inbound with 19 seconds to go. I think people, did you see that? Yeah. Well, now I will go back and look because we got to make sure we got it. We got to protect Virginia's title. We're going to get it right.

Well, I mean, you know, I just like to argue, but like generally, you know, my point was, listen, they missed the double dribble, but let's not act like we all saw that. I mean, if you saw it great, more power to you, but most people weren't tweeting or talking about it until after the game. And then the bad foul, I mean, it's a foul and it should be called nine out of 10 times in that situation on the three pointer. Yeah, it was a foul. And so I think, and that pissed people off.

So I think last night they were really looking for stuff and that play that went to the review, you know, everybody that just two days ago was saying, we need to get every call within two, inside two minutes, right? Is all of a sudden anti replay? Right. So I just, you know, listen, like I know people have a lot of resentment for the pace of play, you know, the low scoring and they might not like us because, because we've been pretty good and we've had a history of some tournament mishaps and obviously UMBC, but I mean, whatever.

I mean, like, you know, we're, we're, we're hated now. We're blue blood. Oh, slow it down there. Maybe from all the inbreeding, but not yet. Yeah. Oh, down. Also, Chris, I mean, I just want to say first of all, I hope you can get past all those articles and start to enjoy the national championship.

But at the same, but at the same time, let me ask you, if I'm playing devil's advocate, if you were a Texas tech fan and you saw that ball just barely graze your dude's pinky, would you be pissed off when we, would you take the side of maybe we're seeing too much with these replays? Cause that's, that's the way I'm starting to lean right now. The robots have become too advanced. Yes. I thought you're going to make a just the tip joke.

No. Listen, I made an Italian joke last night when the Italian guy was very demonstrative with his hands and that's what hit the ball. But seriously, like in baseball, we're starting to see it in basketball, we're seeing it a little bit. Like there are some things that we didn't know happened during these replays that now that we have the technology and the nice cameras and the super slow replays, we can see, do we, is that a good thing all the time?

I think, I think inside of two minutes, it's a really good thing. I think it would slow the game down a lot. If you're able to do it throughout the game, you know, I think replay has been good for football. I mean, you know, shifting gears to football, I mean, I remember as a sports fan and as a football fan growing up, hearing people say when they were transitioning to replay that the game will never be the same. It's going to ruin the game this, that and the third.

And honestly, I don't know how we, we get through games nowadays without it. And I think people mostly don't even notice that it's slowing the game down at all. I think we're, we're mostly glad we have it. But yeah, I mean, like, listen, if the ball goes off the cat's pinky, the ball went off the guy's pinky. I mean, it's not even, it's not subjective. You know, and obviously everybody does this dance where they want to make their team, you know, do the mental gymnastics to make their team as deserving as possible.

You know, when it comes to calls and teams they don't like, they want to twist it the other way. I'm telling you, they miss the double dribble. I mean, that's clear. But I had people like, well, I guess then, you know, tough luck for the Saints then. I'm like, dude, everybody watching in every continent knew that was PI right when it happened, right when it happened. And I didn't see anybody, I was in, I was in a bar, I didn't see anybody say a word

about a double dribble, you know, in real time. So I think what happened is, is they missed one call. And I think people, you know, then they were looking for whatever they could to kind of, you know, take apart the title run that just occurred. Yeah. Listen, I, I was, I like UVA was the clear champion to me. They had an unbelievable season. The story is awesome.

So I wanted to ask you that. Are UMBC jokes, do, do they still play? Do they hurt at all? Or is this all? Because I'm of the mindset that this is all one story and it starts with the UMBC loss and ends last night. And it basically erases that because you can't, I don't think they win the championship without the 16 seed upset.

Yeah. I mean, I'm not sure they do. I've, I've joked that, you know, the toughest opponent in the tournament was that first half of Garner Webb. Yes. I mean, that was nerve-racking, man. I mean, I think they went down 12 or 14 points in the first half and I'm pacing around my kitchen, hyperventilating and my wife's asked me if I'm okay.

And I like, like just, you know, I'm a total mental basket case when it comes to being a sports fan. You are a liberal. So, so, but I mean, you know, they get through that, that first half and I thought once they got over that hump, you know, and I'm sure Tony was walking a fine line. I don't want to put words in his mouth, but, you know, if you're a coach, what do you do? Do you downplay it going into that matchup? Do you say, just another game or we got to lean into this thing and we got to go out

there and press and dominate, um, you know, and, and I'm not sure which one they did, but it was a tough start and they got over the hump and I thought, you know, the Oregon game, there were some, some levels and, uh, and they got over it and Purdue, they played lights out, uh, Auburn, they played real well. I mean, it was really uncharacteristic of them to allow a double-digit lead to, to, uh, disappear in the last five minutes. And then, you know, last night, everybody was bracing themselves for the most, you know, ugly game of basketball they've ever seen.

I thought it was beautiful. I thought it was a great game. Yeah. You know, Texas Tech, Texas Tech hit about, you know, 10, 15 threes, uh, great defense on both sides of the court. You got, um, two probable lottery picks. Um, and Dre Hunter stepped up big time, you know, Kyle Guy again, um, you know, a star and Ty Jerome was, uh, was crucial for us.

So, uh, I thought it was a great game. Did you have any words with Patrick Mahomes either before, during or after the game last night? Good question. I did not. I did not. Um, I had words with Danny Amandola. Um, Danny made a tattoo.

Uh, I just want to put that out there. He's supposed to get a Virginia tattoo, I think. Whoa. I like it. Okay. Family V tattoo on his chest. He's always seemed to me like a big chest tattoo guy. That's not fair though.

You have a million tattoos. That was the point. And no, but I said, I said, Danny, let's, I said, Danny, let's bet. And you know, uh, he's like, I don't know about doing anything financial, but I think we could do a tattoo bet and I'm like, what are you serious? Like you're going to get, you know, cross sabers on your tattooless body and everybody's going to know what it is. I can hide a little six shooter somewhere.

I can hide a cowboy hat somewhere. Yeah. I'm not going to like it, but I can do it. I already got a tattoo of my, um, linebacker coach's face on my ribcage and I never, I never released that picture yet. We need it. Maybe I'll do it through y'all, um, but, but yeah, I've done the, the tattoo bet thing before for Danny.

This, this is a uncharted territory. I think, I think he really just wanted to get a tattoo. Danny has always struck me as a guy. He's like Kevin Federline with just clean skin without the ink on it yet. So like he was like, I think he was like trying to like talk himself into an excuse to get that first tattoo. Yes. You know, that's a great for that's a, that's a great, um, you know, intro is, uh, the cross

sabers just floating somewhere in your body. Yeah. Um, did you offer to give the team a pregame speech like Kirk Cousins did who did he do that? Yeah. That's why it sucked. Well, I, I listen, uh, you guys, yeah, I love being a fan and, uh, you know, I don't even, when I, when I see a lot of those guys out, I don't even, I don't even bug them and

and I've met Tony like one time, um, and, and can we talk about how awesome Tony Bennett is? And now to me, he can't go anywhere. Oh, actually, that's actually a good, good segue. How much of this title do you think Wisconsin should deserve? Wisconsin? Well, Dick Bennett, you know, Directly, directly a little bit. I mean, you guys, you know, kind of revolutionized our style of play.

Right. Yeah. The, like the game itself, you're in Minneapolis. You've won a Super Bowl in that, in that play, in that building. Like what, what were the emotions? Like, are you still, I was wondering, like you, you've been the highest in sports. Can you still be a regular fan? Was it still overwhelming as a fan?

It's, it's, it's, it's totally different as a fan. Like it's, it's almost more nerve wracking and, um, you just feel so hopeless. And like I said, like as a player, I'd like to think I'm pretty mentally tough. And as a fan, I am just, man, I, I'm, I'm a basket case and, you know, everything, like we'll go down three points and I'll start thinking about like, well, I'm not going out tonight. Yep. You know, like, like, you know, you just have those thoughts and you're like,

are you fucking kidding me, dude? Like what if you were out there with a jersey on? Like you, you would, you, and you had that mentality, you would crumble. And, you know, it just goes to show you. I mean, being a fan is way different than being a player. And, um, the, the negative energy and thoughts that I bring to watching game on TV or, or at a stadium, uh, it can be a lot. It's harder to be a fan is what you're saying.

It's way, it's way harder. Thank you. Way harder. Thank you. Appreciate that. I have one more question. It's a Seekik question from a code taking at $10 off Seekik purchase. Uh, you have won two Super Bowls.

You've won a national title, uh, in college basketball. You've reached the highest of highs. Do you think now is the time that you want to announce your retirement from the NFL? I'm not going to do that on 30 minutes sleep, dude. So you're thinking about it. You know what, we've all been there when we're so, so hungover that we just want to quit whatever we're doing at the time. That's where you're at.

Chris, you just do it. Chris, you were the first guest on this show ever. You've been on the show like 10 times. Do you not realize that every time we're going to try to get you retire on the show? No, I understand. I mean, I'm figuring this thing out, um, little by little, but, uh, but right now, man, I'm just not in a great place.

I mean, like we won the national championship last night, but this is what being in your thirties is like the gremlins are like strong right now. It's like 6 p.m. The sun's going down or whatever the hell it is. And, uh, and, and I had to like buy five pounds of Chick-fil-A, you know, and just, and just hammer it and, and hope for the best. Baseball, is there baseball on tonight? Yeah, there's some baseball, there's some NBA.

Yeah, you can get into it. Also, you've got those pending investigations from Goodell based on your gambling and doing your office bracket and gambling against a fellow NFL player. So you've got these two specters looming dollars. Did I say dollars? Well, a tattoo. I didn't mean dollars. $50.

Oh, you said dollars. Also, you took a picture. Dollars is like a code word. You took a picture. For love. Yeah, he loves 50 lashes. You took a picture at a sports book and posted on Twitter. Um, Goodell is probably going to be checking out for that one too.

So you might as well just get out. He should also, and all the Duke fans should check out my winning ticket. The Michigan State game. So it was like a perfect tournament. I mean, like Michigan State won me like a large amount of money. Um, Duke goes down. We win the title. I mean, you couldn't have scripted it any better.

I did. Hey, I told you this, this is pretty cool. And this is not a name drop because name drops are like casual. And they're like, yeah, I was hanging out with someone. So I got to take a shot with Charles Barkley. And I thought that was fucking awesome. Yes. That is nice.

Dude, coolest guy ever. Yeah. I don't think we're boys necessarily, but like we talked a while and it was cool. And he was real classy about the Auburn thing. I showed him the travel 19 seconds left in the game. He didn't agree. Yeah, you're not mad. You're just walking around to random people at bars and showing them highlights.

Well, he got on me about the double dribble. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, but it was cool. And even cooler, Stanford, Steve was there. The best Stanford. Steve is like, it was a great night. Win a title, take a shot with Chuck and make it home the next day and and get some chicks to lay to close out the weekend.

And I could have been there, but you refused to get a suite. So whatever. Yeah, yeah. Who did you have that thing ever work out with McVeigh? Did he ever get you a suite? Oh, we didn't really want one. Yeah, we didn't want we're just blown smoke. We're just joshing.

We were we were seeing if you would actually go through with it. And then if he did, we'd been like, we're kidding. You idiots. Yeah, put him money. But he. Oh, sorry, Roger Goodell is leaving through. OK, you can take it. You want you want a conference?

No, I'm good. OK, well, Wahoo Wah. Is that what you say? Wahoo Wah. Who? Who? Who? Who cares? That's what I say. You can't say it now. Yeah, well, I just did. It's my show.

Stephen A. Smith was big mad this morning. Oh, he's been big mad. He's been big mad. Oh, all right. Thanks, bro. Appreciate it. All right, guys. Yeah, talk to you.

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It is Blake Pottles. Now quarterback for your Los Angeles Rams. So we thought it would be a good idea to have a Wikipedia club. Before we do that though, Blake, let's catch up real quick. The Rams, huh? Yeah. What's going on? Thanks for having me on again.

Yeah, excited about it, man. Kind of going coast to coast. Got to be by some water. Some of the portfolio is good spot. Though, I'm a crazy man, no Jared really well, obviously an unbelievable team in a pretty sweet city, so I'm excited about it. And did you take any other meetings with other teams or was it just the Rams? No, the Rams was, well, we kind of had a schedule and the Rams was the first one.

And after kind of spending the day there, that was where I wanted to be. So kind of just shut it down and got it done. Who was next on your list? If you weren't going to go to the Rams, who was the student? I had a meeting with Denver and then Baltimore were the next two. Ooh, would have been closer to us. Did any team reach out and say, hey, Blake, do you want to be a tight end? No, I was actually the only one.

I was hinting at trying to just give myself more options than nobody really was fighting. Yeah, you're just throwing out some Instagrams, you're catching some balls, being like, hey, you never know. Yeah, I threw a couple of them out and I was like, I don't know, I don't know. I was just throwing out some balls, being like, hey, you never know. Yeah, I threw a couple of highlight videos out there with running some stick routes and then even did some wall snapping and some holding, just add some

versatility. What happened with the, welcome to LA video that you put out there? All right, so, so I go to the hotel. We were supposed to go to dinner that night. Like they wanted me to go to dinner with, you know, I guess, McBay and a couple of other coaches and do all that. And I kind of just told them, like, look, we don't really need to do that like, I'm good, you guys got me, you don't need to sell me anymore.

So they said, all right, well, we'll drive you back to, I was staying down in Orange County, so we'll get your car back down to Orange County for you. You know, come to the facility and then you'll head out from there. So I changed. I actually had a nice, like a nice polo and jeans on. I didn't, I wouldn't even wear a hat. I was presentable. And then they told me I was going home.

So I put on sweatpants and that shirt and then walked in to the facility and they said, wait in this room and walked in and there was just a bunch of cameras sitting there. And they just said, like, go freestyle something for us. Yeah. Yeah. You know, they said throw something together and, you know, that video was what I came up with.

Yeah. It was, it was, it was a hostage video where Blake was like, Hey, Rams fans, get excited. I'm going to be a ram. Yeah. I brought a lot of that one. I just want to make sure that there was no misunderstanding that you, you didn't actually stand up Sean McVay for your first dinner as a part of the team.

Right. No, no, it was more so like, uh, you don't need to waste any more time. With me, like go enjoy your life and go to dinner with somebody else that you probably want to go to dinner with. That's actually a great employee. You already were making sure that they were cutting some costs. Like, Hey, we don't have to go swipe the, the business card at this nice steakhouse.

Let's, let's just sign, sign on the dotted line and go our ways. Yeah, exactly. So in, I mean, really, I was kind of to go to in and out too. There you go. Stand cranky didn't get all that money by taking everybody out to dinner all the time. So he'll definitely be a fan of yours. My last question about the signing is now, I'm not mad.

I just want to say, first of all, I'm not mad that part of my take didn't break the news that you signed with the Rams. Not mad about, again, Blakey, the year's coming up soon. No big deal. Not, not holding that against you. We're not mad. Blakey the year is coming up though. Um, I just want to know if we need to go bro to bro with Jeff Darlington.

If there's some words that we need to have. Oh, was that who broke it? Yeah. Do we need to do a bro bro with him Blake? Yeah, I think we might need to. Wow. Did you tech? Now, how'd that work?

Do you text Jeff Darlington? Did you forget that you have my phone number? What was the, what was the process there? No, I don't, he texted me later in the process. Kind of, I think after it was already done, he had talked to my agent. Um, and, and then like he kind of just asked and I said, yeah, it's done. I signed. So again, I apologize to you guys for not giving you that info.

And it won't happen again. Okay. My last question before we get to the Wikipedia, it has been a recent story has come out in the last couple of weeks that LeBron James has very, very bad breath. Channing Fry came out and said that it's the number one thing he thinks of with LeBron is bad breath. As someone who has been accused of having bad breath yourself, where does

LeBron go from here? Well, uh, I can't believe Leonard did that to me. Um, yeah. Cause it's always like, that's been a huge tip to you in mind. Like my whole life, like I've always like tried to make sure I have good breath cause it really bothers me when people don't. But as being accused of it, um, I mean, really, it was just an Amazon Prime quick order of, you know, some of the preference and, and let's do read.

Yeah. Yeah. That's actually, that's a good way to get rid of it right away. Make sure you always got one around. All right. Let's do the Wikipedia. So we, we picked two wikipedia's that I think are, uh, perfect for your move. So the first one we have is a list of people from Florida because you are for

the first time in your life going to be moving out of the state of Florida. And we want to make sure that you remember where you're coming from, who the company you keep as a Floridian ex Floridian that is now going out in the world and trying to make it big for the state of Florida. Um, let's start there though. Are you nervous about living somewhere other than Florida? Um, yeah. Well, I mean, especially in California with the whole, the whole

difference in taxes thing. Um, so that'll be a little different. But, uh, I mean, I'm looking forward to it. I've spent some time in Orange County and off season. Um, so this is obviously a little north of that, but I think it'll be all right. Got some friends out there. So hopefully that'll help make the movie. Okay.

All right. So let's start list of, uh, people from Florida. PFT. I'll let you start with some notables that you want to throw out there that you saw. You're like, Oh, this is interesting. Uh, even Mendez jumped off the list to me. Whoa. Big fan of Eva ever acting.

Um, so Eva was a big one, Bob Ross, the painter. Really? Don't know that Bob Ross is from the state of Florida. Blake, I was curious actually, um, what the most famous celebrity encounter you've had inside of Florida has been though? Um, probably Kelly Slater. Kelly Slater was, uh, was a big one for me. I was a big fan of his.

So to me, him was kind of cool. And he's from, I think he's from Coco. So not far away from where I grew up. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Professional surf for Kelly Slater. Oh yeah, he is.

He's from Cocoa Beach. That's actually pretty cool. Right underneath him is, uh, Emmett Smith and then Gino Smith and Kevin Smith, Mike Smith, a lot of Smiths, Rusty Smith. Um, I noted a couple of things. One was Janet Reno's passed away. Uh, that's tough. I didn't know that.

Yeah. I didn't either RP. So I saw that she's from Florida or was from Florida is, how do you do that when someone dies? She's a former Floridian former. She's like Blake, former from Floridian. So she was, uh, the first woman to serve as attorney general. Well, it doesn't, like if she's buried in Florida, then I think she still is a

final rest in place in Florida. Uh, I also noticed Johnny Depp. I didn't realize Johnny Depp was from Florida. Did you know that Blake? No, I had no idea. Well, some of these, it's kind of bullshit because some of them, it just says they lived in Florida. Well, they become Floridians.

Yeah. But I think it should be just, I think it's born. Well, some people are born and then they move and then some people move and then they, they like, who was there was a notable one. I think it's just, once you spend, let's say over five years in Florida, it gets in your blood. You are in Florida, you're a Floridian. Yeah.

It, yeah. You cranked in the bath. What did you say? I think he said, once you breathe in the bath salts. Yeah, that actually, sorry. I'm, I'm looking at this list. Yeah. It's just got your bath salts and it just becomes Floridian after like six months.

Yeah. Enough Harley fumes and, uh, and drugs that you can buy at a gas station counter and you're part of the team. Are you on speakerphone looking at it on your phone? Yeah. Yeah. This is how I do Wikipedia club. That's, it's, I mean, we should actually, at some point in the next, uh, couple

years, we should have a live camera on Blake, how he does the Wikipedia club. Cause we all Wikipedia differently. I also wrote down Jason Derulo. That's the name that you just know because Jason Derulo, he just says it in every song, which is genius. People don't give him enough credit for just saying his name over and over. So you remember him. How does he say it?

Jason Derulo. That's pretty good. Um, what you say carrot top also from Coco. Whoa. So a Blake is Coco beach different from Coco. Yeah. Two totally different places. Oh, okay.

I don't want to mix that out. Coco Coco's high school football team is way better than Coco beaches. Okay. That's good to know. Good to know. Uh, I also noticed that the science and technology section of the famous Floridians was very small. Not a whole lot of science going on.

Yeah. Not a lot of science. Not a big tech state. Not a huge tech state. That's actually a very, very important thing we should throw out there. I don't know where the spaceships go off from. Uh, the point. Hey, yeah, the, um, Apollo, well, no, Apollo was Houston, right?

Cause you have a problem. Houston is the control center. The watches are from Florida. Watch from Cape Canaveral. Yes. I have a fun fact about that. Do you know why? Go because it's the southernmost point in the United States and you use less

rocket fuel to get out of the atmosphere because of the rate that the earth spins at closer to the equator. Wouldn't Key West be the most southernmost? Yeah. But they don't want to build a big NASA thing. Once you put NASA inside Key West, they just all become drunks and nudists. Isn't it also one of those things too? Hawaii is actually, wouldn't Hawaii be the most southernmost?

I don't know how that works. You know how they always, like Hawaii is actually way farther south than we think. Yeah. Maybe. I don't know. I'm not exactly sure about that. We're getting too far into the weeds here. We're not doing a Hawaii Wikipedia club.

Um, Tom Petty. Tom Petty, Gainesville. Yes. Gainesville. Big time Gainesville guy. RIP. Yeah. A lot of good music people too.

You had Steve Aoki, Iggy Azalea. Uh, I think she's from Australia and she, yeah, but she lives in Miami. So that counts. That's big. Oh, that counts. That counts. No, because it counts. Australia is the Florida of the British Empire.

Correct. Correct. Correct. Don't spread dirt. Yeah. That's a big one who could forget. Yeah. Ariana Grande.

She actually was a huge Carolina Panthers fan. You remember that article that someone dug up that she got hit by a puck like three times in one year? Yep. I just noticed that a lot of these people on this list are dead. Very high concentration of dead people that are from Florida. So maybe it's for the best that you're getting out. Brooke Hogan. Classic.

Hogan knows best. Was that the name of the show? So that, that would imply Hulk Hogan as well, maybe. I think Hogan knows best. Yeah. Well, every, every wrestler is actually from the Tampa area. Yep. That actually is how it works.

He was born in Tampa. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, exactly. Um, any other ones that we should note, uh, as we, as we basically take, we're gonna like figuratively move from Florida to California with our next Wikipedia. Any other last words for Florida or memories, Blake? No, I was just trying to think, do you think they took me off? Cause I'm no longer a resident of Florida.

I'm not in California. So I didn't make the list. I don't know. I couldn't find here. No, he's not on here. We can go back and check the history. Yeah, that is stupid. It's very stupid.

That's how quickly they turned their back on you in Florida, right? So quick, dude. It's on there. I mean, there's a guy named Booth Bonser on here. Oh, Booth Bonser is a fucking great pitcher, dude. From St. Pete. Booth Bonser. Booth, Booth Bonser.

Dude, click on Booth Bonser and tell me you don't love Booth Bonser. He's like 300 pounds. Yeah. He's the greatest, the greatest name ever for, for a reliever, a reliever to be Booth Bonser and be a fat ass. Come on. That's awesome. Booth Bonser.

Oh, also A-Rod. A-Rod, yes, that is true. All right. Let's move on. So you are moving to LA. When are you moving officially? Uh, I'm headed out there Friday and then got to try and find a place this weekend and then I'm going to report Monday.

What do we think in Manhattan Beach? Yeah, I think my options are like, because there are facilities in Thousand Oaks, so it'll be Thousand Oaks. That's where I was born. Calabasas, Hitchhills. That's a lot of trees, Thousand Oaks. Yeah, actually. A lot of wood.

Jared, Jared Goff, you're, you know, your teammate now. Our friend saved the forest fire. He stopped the forest fire. Remember that story? When he got out and just started pouring water on a bunch of burning trees? There was like a leaf that was on fire. Yeah, but still. So save our lives.

Yeah. That was a big part of why I decided to sign with him, just to be around somebody with that much of heroism. Yes. So because you're moving to LA, we thought it would be appropriate for the Wikipedia of the San Andreas Fault, the big one. So are you ready for the big one? Let's start there.

Yeah, I mean, I think as ready as I'll ever be. Actually, that was the first question I asked. It was a guy that took me up from the hotel in the morning to take me to a facility. One of the first things I brought up was the earthquakes and how often those come, and if you can actually feel them. And he let me know that it's just small shakes. You know, nothing to be too concerned about until the big one hits. Okay, so have you like practiced what to do in an earthquake?

Like, do you know, you're supposed to, I think, stand in doorways? Is that right? Yeah, I think so. And stay away from windows. That's a tornado. What do you think? Yeah, I was just going to do like the, in elementary school, we said obviously being from Florida, all we did all out of elementary school was just practice for hurricanes.

So you have to always get under the desk. So I figured I would just do that same thing. It does say get under the desk. Would you think about maybe putting a desk in every single room in your new house? Yeah, I mean, that would be something I look into and try and make sure I'm earthquake proof if anything goes wrong. Just put on your uniform with your pads and everything. Put an helmet on.

Nothing to get at. Non-football related like meetings. How many hours of your life do you think you sat at a desk? Outside of football? Yeah. Just what are the school count? Yeah, maybe let's say post school. So after you graduated college.

Oh, man. Well, I mean, I have an office in my house and there's a computer up there, but I don't think it's plugged in. I don't spend a whole lot of time sitting at that. Was that the room I stayed in? Yeah, yeah. That was your room. Yeah.

Yeah. So Blake, yeah, I confirmed the computer was unplugged. You had like two trophies on a case in there, but those weren't like your most important trophies. So I could tell that you didn't spend a lot of time in that room. Right. Now it's just third grade spelling bee and then ninth grade flexible. When you're buying a place in LA, how much of, hey, the part of my take

guys might come and want to stay over gets like, you know, do you tell that to your realtor or do you just say like, hey, I got some really good friends who may be staying a lot? Like what do you, how does that conversation go? Yeah. I mean, it's definitely part of it. Like I need at least two extra beds and then a cot, you know, for Hank. You know, so we need at least three,

we need three extra places for three people to sleep that could show up at any moment. Yeah. Yeah. That's perfect. Exactly. All right. So the San Andreas fault. Uh, I, I just pulled up the Wikipedia page and let's just say you're fucked dude.

Yeah, this definitely doesn't look good. No, it does not. It says the next big one in 2006, there was a published article, uh, that there would be an earthquake of 7.0 or higher coming in the next 30 years. And that is yet to occur. And I guess the North fault line, uh, hasn't had anything in a long time. So that's the one we got to be worried about. Is that, where is that at?

Is that by NLA? I just run through LA. Yes. Pretty much. I'm pretty sure it's like directly through LA. So there's a 7% chance that there's an 8.0 or greater coming in the next 30 years in LA. Yikes. Maybe you can get them to move back to St. Louis.

Yeah. 8.0 is very, very bad. Yeah. 8.0, like anything above a 7.0 is really bad. The other fun fact that I learned about earthquakes is that, uh, the grades of them, they expand exponentially. Oh yeah. So like a 6 to a 7, the difference between those two

is not nearly as much as the difference between a 7 and an 8. So yeah, you want to, it's, I'm looking at the map right now. Yeah, LA is like right on that Pacific plate right there. Not good. Not great. You want to think? You want to, again, spend a lot of time outdoors. Yeah, what, uh, maybe you want to, uh, you know, rethink this whole thing?

Yeah. I mean, I think I'm kind of, uh, you know, I think I'm committed for a year at least, and then maybe reconsider after that. Would it be an all-time headline of Blake Bortles moving on, scared of the big one? Scared of earthquakes. Scared of the big one. Um, have you watched the movie St. Andreas? Uh, with the rock?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah, I've seen that. Yeah, amazing. Amazing film. So that's like watching an entire Wikipedia page in only like two and a half hours. So you basically know all the information already going into this. It's, um,

You're going to study it. Yeah, you should study that movie again. You're like, yeah, instead of reading the book, you just watch the movie. Yeah, so to figure out how to escape the earthquake, I guess, what did the rock do, and that just flew away in a helicopter? Flew in a helicopter. He got a boat. I think he was flying like into the, into the storm.

Okay. Pretty much everything you can do. So we need to get you a helicopter and lessons. Hope he's got one. We know that you have a boat. A thousand oaks, yeah. You are a boat. Yes.

So I'd say you're halfway there. Not pretty much. Um, are you nervous at all about Jared being a California resident his whole entire life and knowing like the lingo and all the cool shit and like having Calibre friends? Yeah, no, I mean, it would be like him coming to Florida, you know, like he's like, I'm an outsider stepping into his world. And I don't know. Don't know the lingo.

Obviously don't know what to do with earthquake hits. Don't know any good restaurants and other things like that. Yeah. Oh, here's an idea. Sean McVeigh, didn't he just recently get his house robbed? I think that was wrong. Like, and that was two years ago. No, that was Sean McVeigh.

Was it not? Yeah, I saw someone about to be a guy. Yeah, he got his house robbed. You should just offer to be his guard dog. Yeah, I told him whatever you need me to do, man. I'll sit in the driveway all night long and I can take you to work in the morning. Yeah, you should give him a tip. You should be like, hey, Sean, from experience, lock your door.

Yeah. I've been down this path before. You actually should go hunt that person down like Liam Neeson. Like you should be his taken guy and find who burglarizes home and just beat the crap out and give him stuff back. Boom. Now you're starting quarterback. All right.

I mean, if that's what it takes, I think we definitely look into it. Anything else that we got to talk about with this big move coming up? I'm a little nervous for you. I'm not going to lie. This is a big life change. You're going off to California. We're empty nesters now. Right.

It's going to be scary for us, scary for you. You're going to be three hours behind at all times. That's the worst part about it. Like there's nothing on TV at eight o'clock at night. Yep. Those sports on Twitter is just a dead zone at like 11. Yeah. Well, you're not on Twitter anymore.

No. I think I'm going to revamp social media though. So if I get back on there. Really? Actually. Yeah. That's not a bad idea. Yeah.

Because I feel like when you're, um, now is it, is it bad to say when you're back up? How are we at with that? No. Yeah. No, I'm okay with the B word. Okay. The B word. All right.

So we'll just say the B word. When you're a B word, I think you, you kind of open yourself up to being, you can be the funny B word on, on Twitter. Right. And like, yeah, it's tough to be like the funny starter on Twitter, especially when you're winning like four or five games a year. Like they, it doesn't go well. Yeah.

You don't want to be too funny though, because you don't want to reach distraction status. I feel like Sean McFay is pretty good about that though, about like letting his players be players, be, be like their own individuals. Absolutely. Um, but just, that's just a heads up. Don't be too funny.

Don't outshine Jared. Cause Jared's pretty good on Twitter too. So just be like slightly less funny than Jared at all times. Yeah. Hey, well, I just told him like, I want like all the cool stuff that he gets to do, like when he goes undercover and does like all these sweet things, like just give me, like, let me be like some sort of a role in it. Like I'll be the ball boy.

Like let me be the center when you go undercover to a juco. Like let me just go play center. That would be so good. Be a stunt double. That would be so good. Uh, what should we do? We, we, we're going to make a split jersey. Should it be Boff or should it be Gordals?

Oh, I like Gordals. Gordals has a nice ring to it. Right. That has a nice ring to it. Yeah. Blair and Gordals. No, right. Jake, Jake Gordals.

Jake Gordals. Jake Gordals is our number one quarterback. I like this person. Okay. Perfect. Um, being a B word, you can now just keep your hat on all the time. So I know, I didn't know if you were ever going to bring that up. Winner of this whole thing.

I mean, outside of the dash or handsome boys, we're in the clear here. Yeah. All right. I think that's it. Uh, we'll see you in a month and a month and a half. We have Blake of the year coming up, which I can already tell Blake is very, very nervous about Blake of the year because Blake Gordals, actually both. But when I texted this Blake, he responded faster than I've ever had him respond to a text

and he said, just getting ready for Blake of the year. I've actually just been wearing my AirPods 24 seven, but I can never miss a call. Sleeping with your AirPods. I sleep with my AirPods and just ready to go with that loud duck clack is my ringtone. Oh man. All right, Blake. Thank you, man. Appreciate it.

Uh, we'll see you in a couple, couple weeks. Good luck with the move. Yeah. Oh, I appreciate it. I did have one last question for you, Blake. Have you ever watched the show entourage or the movie? Okay. Dumb question.

Follow up. Who's the turtle? Who's the E and who's baby bro? Yeah. In this group, in the part of my take group. Oh, oh, you, uh, y'all three? Yeah. Blake, Blake is Vince.

Yeah. Blake is Vince. Blake is Vince. We'll start off. Who's baby bro? Oh, I think baby bro's got to be Hank. PST is, uh, don't say turtle, don't say turtle. PST is E.

Oh, I'm turtle. Big head, nice. What the fuck? Nice. That's a fuck. I'm making moves. I am good at driving. I do love driving.

I do love driving. My name is also. I do love driving. I love driving. You're right. Okay. Um, yeah. Well, he's a little bitch.

Whatever. You, dude, he was banging Sloan. Turtles are the coolest. Okay. Turtles are the coolest, but. Can't wait to meet Sloan. Yeah, and then he cried about it. Yeah, so what?

Yeah. Uh, all right, we'll talk. We'll see you in a couple of weeks, man. Good luck with the move. Make sure you get that extra room for us, please. No, I definitely will. I appreciate it, guys. Thanks, bro.

All right, see ya. Love you, Blake. All right, bye, Blake. Love you. Love you. Oh, there we go. That interview with Blake Bortles is brought to you by Kite. Are you tired of your vape, of your vape always dying,

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nor sponsored by Juul Labs Incorporated. Okay, let's get to some segments. First up, we have a King Stay King Skip Bailless during the national championship game last night, or after it. He said, the Cavaliers won a championship without the benefit of a Draymond Green suspension. I fucking love it.

I love it. I love it. Keep fucking that chicken. And on Friday night during the Saturday night during the Virginia game, when Kyle Guy was going on the free-throw line, he said LeBron, this is LeBron's worst nightmare. Yes, that's right.

That's right. And it was. I love it. He straight up has LeBron James' name tattooed on the inside of his eyelids. So whenever he loses focus, he stops thinking about how everything should be related to LeBron James.

He's like, oh yeah, I gotta snap back to it and get after it. Ernestine wears a shirt around the house that just says, make sure you tweet about LeBron James. She's got a tattoo. She's got a tramp stamp tattoo of just LeBron's face. Have you treated about LeBron James in the last 20 minutes? If not, do it. It also Kingsley Kings for Stephen A. Smith,

because Ty Jerome said after the game, I just feel so bad for ESPN's Stephen A. Smith. He said he hated watching us and he had to watch us every single round of the tournament. I feel so bad for him. It must have been so hard for him. That is the win. That's a win for Stephen A. Smith.

Anytime a championship team talks about an analyst, a troll analyst, they won. Mission accomplished. Here's the thing, no matter who it is, no matter what it is that's giving Stephen A. Smith attention, Stephen A. is basking in it. He loves it. The best fucking day of his week was when that turkey vulture

flew through the window and tried to kill him. Stephen A. Smith, he's like, you know you're doing something right when even the birds want to kill you. Yes. By the way, we got a little inside source about the turkey vulture situation. Let's just say it doesn't really add up

because those birds don't really fly. So we heard some sourcing. Was that from info scores? Info scores, did they say that? I did say they don't fly at all. I did say that it couldn't be a turkey vulture because if you look at the crash site into the building, there should be feathers,

there should be blood and entrails on the way in. Yeah. And I'm agreeing with you that it is not a bird that hit that building. Look at the wreckage. There should be pieces of the wreckage outside. Someone's trying to take out the $10 million man. Who could it be?

Who could it be? Will Kane? Max Kellerman? For getting defeated in too many debates? Shannon Sharp? Lil Wayne? For because Skip always keeps saying calling him Stephen A. Yeah.

Been like I miss you, Stephen A. He's got to eliminate it. Could it have been the bosses? They knew that they... $10 million. They won KM. Yeah. Yeah.

Interesting. That was right before that news got broke, right? Yeah. Yeah, it was. Maybe it was his producer. There's been a lot of that about like hit producers trying to murder their talent on debate shows recently either by getting them sick

or by throwing something through the window and trying to kill them. So just be a little bit woke on that too, Hank. Interesting. Interesting. Great. Interesting. All right.

Next up we have a Trouble in Paradise. It's still going on. Well, there's two things that are still going on. Trouble in Paradise and a Petty Wars. You could actually put either or on these stories, but Trouble in Paradise Green Bay, Aaron Rodgers has responded to the Bleacher Report article basically calling him out for being a terrible teammate.

And he said it was a smear attack. He said it's mostly irrelevant bitter players. He called out Jermico Finley and Greg Jennings because he said, if it's not an article about me, do you ever hear their names anywhere else? You talk about me being sensitive and petty. At what point do you move on or stop telling the same stories?

Now, I do actually agree with Aaron Rodgers that those two guys, Jermico Finley is always the one who talks about it. Well, there's also just a long line of tight ends that have come through Green Bay that are just pissed off that they were never used correctly. Greg Jennings is on FS1, I think. So he at least has made a career for himself

other than just this. But this is still one of those stories where I think Aaron Rodgers, like I actually sort of believe Aaron Rodgers, which is amazing that I'm going to go this far to defend him a little bit, that he isn't a maliciously bad teammate. I think he is very passive aggressive

and will cut someone off probably pretty quickly. But it seems like normal behavior because that's just how he always is operating. I think him, so he is passive aggressive. Other quarterbacks like Brady are just aggressive aggressive. So they'll at least let you know when they're about to be addicted to you. Aaron Rodgers, this whole thing just screams to me

like an argument that should be happening between two of your high school friends on Facebook. Right, right. And Mike McCarthy and Aaron Rodgers, I guarantee you their relationship, like they both came out and were like, oh no, we have a great relationship. The man, like he's a great man and blah, blah, blah.

There's no way they got along. Like that's the truth. I don't think that Aaron Rodgers is as bad as the article might have made him out to be. But if even 50% of it's right, like he's clearly tough to deal with on a day-to-day basis. My favorite part of this article was about 30 minutes after the new part.

I guess Aaron Rodgers quotes about like Finley and all that came out about 30 minutes afterwards. Someone leaked to the press, no idea who, that Rodgers actually played all last year on like a small tubule fracture on his knees, as well as a torn inshiel. Yeah, that was bullshit. He hands up the injuries so much.

I remember that time when you were stretching the tunnel nonstop. Mike, why'd you give me that little look? It was a very rational take for me. It was. I mean, I think Aaron Rodgers is a very difficult person to be a teammate with. But I don't think he's as bad.

Our family member with you. Like, because here's the thing. He's been bashed before. This is the first time he's come out and been like, yo, like this is uncalled for. And anyone who defends themselves and like, I don't know. I feel like if you go out and defend yourself

and try to tell your side, I'm at least going to listen. You know what would be great is if, what's his brother's name? He called himself an alpha male. I mean, call yourself an alpha male and they're calling your team relevant. No, he's a hard person to deal with. I guarantee you he is.

Fuck to call yourself an alpha male. He is a hard person to deal with. I'm just saying he probably, it probably was overstated a little bit. And Mike McCarthy also had a piece. Like the whole thing is dysfunctional. And everyone gets blamed. It's one of those things

where everyone should probably look in the mirror and be like, oh yeah, I probably was really bad teammate. Or I wasn't great with, you know, a young guy or I wasn't great with my coaches. And Aaron Rodgers does have that feel. Like he thinks he's smarter than you. He'll just shut you out. The funniest move of all time is like,

anytime a relationship or a friendship doesn't work out and then you say out loud, like, you know, it's just a couple of alpha males butting heads with each other. It's like 99% of the time that's not it at all. You're not a dick. It's just like Mike McCarthy was getting massages and Aaron Rodgers hated some of his teammates.

They're both kind of dicks. Two alphas, just being alphas, you know. Right. Couldn't see eye to eye after all that success. It's, it will be interesting because I do, I mean, Aaron Rodgers, there's no way he's easy to deal with. It's just he has such great talent. One time Super Bowl winner, Aaron Rodgers.

Like washes away everything else. If he had, you know, middling talent, he would have been cast off a long time ago. It was a huge dickhead. And do you remember the interview that he gave him, Michelle Tafoya after that week one? Wait, remember when they played the Bears? You remember that game?

Yeah, I remember who won the FC North. Okay, so after that game, that's when- North remembers. That's when I do. That's when he adopted that Southern accent. Yes. When he was in like so much pain on painkillers and stuff. Go back and watch that video.

It's so hilarious. He's the gunslinger. My knee hurt. My knees just, my knees aching like all the dickens. It was funny that they came out with that, you know, being like, Oh, actually he was hurt all year long. So I just, the only thing I'll say again, in Aaron Rodgers defense,

I think your Michael Finley is kind of a dick. Okay. That's really what it is. Well, I think everything else is probably true. But I think anything your Michael Finley says, because he is, he, it is true that he is the one who like continuously talks about it. It's like, dude, you haven't been in the league in forever.

Now what if Martellus Bennett confirmed? Martellus Bennett has got his own things. Yeah, a lot of his own things. Yeah, he's his own, he's his own guy. The bottom line is both Aaron Rodgers and Antonio Brown are a couple of messy bitches who love drama. Yes, pretty much. They're fake friends.

Yeah. So Antonio Brown's the other part of this petty war slash trouble in paradise. Antonio Brown will not stop talking about the Steelers and then say that they keep talking about him. He got in a fight with Juju Smith Schuster again. For all I know, like no one from the Steelers has said anything. Even Leveon Bell is taking subtle shots at Antonio Brown now.

So I, like we said on Monday's show, I think this is going to be the Steelers are going to get addition by subtraction because Leve, or Antonio Brown has become, it's come out that he's basically like insane. Yeah, he is insane. I think we called that on the show. Like he's actually nuts. I think, yeah, I could see an addition by subtraction,

but the problem is he is so fucking good when he's actually playing. Right. That it's, it's tough to be kind of like the Aaron Rodgers. Like he's so good that it doesn't, you can be a dick. You have to be a pretty huge asshole to make an addition by subtraction when you're that very, very good. But he might be.

I mean, he's going nuts. I saw a screenshot of a text between James Conner and Leveon Bell's sub-tweet. So yeah, James Conner was even the one that was like kind of taking shots at him. And then Leveon Bell tweeted it. Yeah. Then he tweeted it out.

So it's like both of them doing at the same time. Yeah. All I can say is go listen to Antonio Brown's podcast. It explains a lot. The Raiders should trade him. They actually should trade him because it's going to blow up. It's already happening. Like just trade him before his, he's got the highest amount of,

you can get the most from, for him right now. Imagine if the Raiders traded him for like a second round. To the Bills. Yeah. And they got like a first rounder. It's like the Steelers just couldn't get anything for him. Yeah. No, I, I kind of hope that does happen.

He'll, he'll be traded a couple more times in his career. I'm pretty sure. Yes. But the very worst thing, I can't imagine because they're going to be going for probably a rookie quarterback in the draft this year, right? Likely. Kyler Murray.

Although, yeah, John Groom does love old ass, tall white quarterback. So Jeff Crusty available. But I could absolutely see Antonio Brown just ruining a rookie's confidence before they even get on the field, before like week one. Yes. Yes.

Absolutely. All right. Hank, last up. We got guys on chicks. Sure do. Hey, big boy. I mean PFT. Oh, what?

Yeah. Hank just added that. No, I swear, I, I'm not even joking. William. You're fine. That's fine. Two things. One, my boyfriend has been asking me to watch porn with him.

Why? Two, he also asked to watch me masturbate. And my response is, why don't you just fuck me? And he says, it's sexy. Is this normal? Why doesn't he want to have sex, but he wants to watch other people get off? That's a good question.

It's like, why don't, why don't you go out in the backyard and tackle somebody instead of turning on NFL football all day on Sunday? Sometimes it's better to watch the pros do it. Yeah. You can learn from it, right? Take film. Do a little film study.

Yeah. Sup fam, especially big cat in this situation. I know the NFL season is months away, but it's always on my mind. I didn't have a football alliance growing up, and I became a Bayer's fan when I met my boyfriend four years ago. By now, it feels like it's been my entire life.

I've lived through the lows of Jake Cutler's last seasons, and then the John Fox era, and through highs that were the Clio Mack Trading Club dub this season. Somehow it's not enough, and he doesn't consider me a true fan. What will it take to prove my loyalty? Get a face tattoo. Just buying tickets to a game. Yeah, or get a Bayer's face tattoo.

Get a face tattoo, I say, would do it. Get him season tickets. Get him season tickets. Yes. Get him season tickets, and maybe bid on a charity event where you get to hang out with Clio Mack for like $50,000. Yeah. Take him to meet the Bayer's cheerleaders one day.

Pay him the NFL salary. Get him signed by the Bears. That works. It's pretty easy. I ran into a dude like this in the stands. He was from Australia. He was right behind me, and I was cheering when the USA scored a try.

He's like, you don't know anything about rugby. And I was like, excuse me? And he became, well, he was saying this to the big group of people around him. He was just policing their fandom. Saying like, he started asking questions. Name three super rugby teams. And then he went, he's like, you just got to sell the last one.

And I was like, hey, do you know the ABL? Wait, so is this just a scene from Goodwill Hunting? Yeah, basically. He was like, how do you like apples? And so I was like, hey, do you like apples? And he was like, yeah. And I was like, I own a team in the Australian National Basketball League.

How do you like them apples? Then he shot a stupid face up. Hell yes. Did any of that happen? Yeah, then they didn't even finish in third place. Like a winner. What's up, Bubba? One of my best guy friends wants to pretend

to be a couple for his new Swingers app so we can do full swaps. Would this make our friendship weird? No. Or bring it to a new level? Wait, so it's personal. Shouldn't he ask the deaf girl he's currently sleeping with? Wait, what?

That's a shot. That's a plot twist. M. Night Shyamalan. Sounds like she's jealous of this deaf girl. Wait, so you're doing a swap? What? This guy wants to do a Swingers app. He's recruiting his friend that's a girl

to pretend to be his partner. Got it, even though he's dating a deaf girl. So they can do a swinging switch. Wait, but that's not even swinging. It's just having sex with your friend with another girl that you met on an app. It's just having sex with another girl while also being your friend's pimp.

Yeah. That's... Don't do it. Don't do it. I said you should do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Just do it.

Not really a chick specific question, but I am a chick. I've always wondered if PFT's vision is fucked up because whenever I go inside to outside or vice versa in sunglasses, I feel like I can't see properly for hours. Just curious how it is living so mysteriously always. Yeah, it is kind of fucked up. Also, are you sunglasses prescription?

No, they're not. They're not prescription. Big time prescription. He doesn't like to talk about it. They're not prescription. He has the worst sight ever. I've got great sight, but it has... My eyesight has definitely been affected by them.

That's just getting older too. Yeah, it's like if I'm indoors at nighttime and I have to wear these things, I might as well just be in a black pit. I can't see shit. By the way, we should do... Someone throughout the once a month, we should do guys on guys.

No, well, that's weird. All right, never mind. What? No, once a month. Every 28 days, we should just go check out guys because girls aren't available. Right, and also,

but like give advice to guys on how to be better guys. Okay. Do you know what I'm saying? Okay, Hank. Hank's not into it. Damn. Well, I mean, I know...

Hank's that friend who's like, yo, if we're not going out for pussy, I'm not going out. Sometimes just do time, you know? Listen, I think Big Cap brings a good point, which is... We need to expand our guide demographic. We don't have enough more... Dudes to this show.

So let's do... You know what? Let's do once a month, Wednesdays. Guys on guys. Just for guys. Finally, a part of my take for dudes. Right. Hey boys, especially Cranky-Hanky.

That's good. You are cranky. My boyfriend is going to be... You've been really cranky recently. No, not at all. You guys have been very mean to me, but that's all right. My boyfriend is going to a bachelor party

in Nashville this weekend. How do I make sure he misses me? Go. Yeah. Just show up. Here's what you do. Get a hotel room directly across the hallway from him. Hang out.

You'll be like Doug Christie's wife. They follow the NBA team around all the time. Actually, no. In a weird way, that would work, because he'll probably break up with you, and then in a month, he'll miss you. So there you go. He'll miss you.

Oh, actually, here's the best way, truth be told. Recommend a super hot, hot chicken place to him in Nashville. And then before they go out at night, he's just going to be on the toilet the whole time. And he'll be like, man, I really miss my girlfriend. I wish I was home. And I wish she was taking care of me. She's so sweet.

She'd understand when my stomach hurts. All right. Last one. Let's see. Hey, Big Cat and PFT. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three and a half years, but we never get to have drunk sex anymore after going out, because he gets too fucked up every time.

Does he not care about having drunk sex when we get home and just settles for sober morning sex? Yeah. Honestly, like that is way better anyways. Yeah. Drunk sex is sex is dangerous. The cool thing is like drunk sex when you're younger. You're like, this is awesome.

I'm doing something very cool. I'm lasting as long as I would have if I had a Roman swipe. Exactly. When you get older, you're like, this sucks. I'm lasting as long as I would. I just want a Roman swipe. I just want to go to bed. Yeah.

And deal with this hangover. When you get older, it's like the drinking is basically just thinking about the hangover that's coming. The second half of every night, when we were out on Saturday night, I was like, this is going to suck by about like 11 o'clock. I was like, gosh, this is bad. I'm gone too far.

That's our show. See everyone Friday. We've got some big guests coming up. I'm going to be finished shit by then. Hall of Famers. We've got some big, oh, Hall of Famers. Yes, actually, many Hall of Famers. And Trister Hall of Famers.

And we have a new episode of Gold coming out on Thursday. So if you want to buy Gold, is that true? Yeah. Okay. We've got a big announcement inside of that episode. Yes. Okay. Huge announcement.

Damn. Everything's coming up. Whatever. Everything's coming up listeners. Everything's coming up. P.F.T. is going to start puking. So, no, I think it's, what is the diarrhea to do? Just diarrhea or also puking.

There's just, oh, have you guys seen the new, let me get it. You know what, I'm totally off topic. Fitspo. Have you seen the new energy drink that every Instagram model is using? Yeah. That's, stay woke on that one.

I need to get on it ASAP. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Also, if you're a dietitian out there, or like an actual dietitian, not Billy, give me some tips. And I want a diet where I can still eat wings, drink claws.

Drink beer. No, not beer, claws up for the caps. Eat wings, drink beer, drink claws. There's snickers over there. And, you know what, no vegetables. So that's my requirements. It's there. Hit me.

I'm good. Don't even need it. Love you guys. You're going to be an uncle soon, dude. You can eat wherever you want. Love you guys. I'm coming for your love of food. Take on me.

Take me on. I'll be gone. In a day or two. Take on me. Take me on. I'll be gone. In a day or two. Take on me.

Take on me. Take me on. I'll be gone. In a day or two. It's part of my tape presented by Bar Stool Sports.