Pardon My Take - Christian Laettner + RIP To The AAF

Episode Date: April 3, 2019

The AAF is done and we remember that one weekend in February when Football was back (1:59 - 7:28). Coach Cal gets a contract for life putting him on the ultimate hot seat (7:28 - 14:18). Hot Seat/Cool Throne including Ernie Grunfeld and Jay Cutler (14:18 - 23:46). Former Duke star Christian Laettner joins the show to talk about his career in basketball, playing on the Dream Team, being hated by people, and how much hairdye Coach K uses (23:46 - 62:01). Segments include Shoe Roast for the NFL's new draft day hats, Lebron stinks, literally. Drunk Ideas from Hank and Liam, Protect the Shield Patrick Reed, and Guys on Chicks. You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, add free on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, we have the hated Christian Laytener. Actually awesome interview though. I don't, his voice is so soothing,

I don't hate him anymore. And he, we talk about Duke, in some way tournament, the dream team. Really good interview with Christian Laytener. We also have an RIP to the AAF, hot seat, cool throne, guys on chicks, and a lot more. But before we do all that, it's time to talk about the cash card from the Cash App.

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So go download it. Okay. Let's go. Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence and then a lot of stuff will have to be done. No place to hang out or wash in

and then I can't live all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna run down to electric revenue and then we're taking higher oh, we're gonna run down to electric revenue and then we're taking higher school sports.

Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by Cash App, our new presenting sponsor. Today is Wednesday, April 3rd, and the AAF is dead, DEAD dead. Yeah, so... It's a real shame. That one weekend in February after the Super Bowl, we will always have that.

This is what we warned you about. This is exactly what happened with DXFL. It just died and we all got excited and then it died. It served a purpose though. It got us through the dog days of February. That one weekend. Between the Super Bowl and the Combine and then Johnny Manzell ate nachos on the sidelines.

That was kind of cool again. Steve Spurrier, all-time winning as coach. Did you see actually that he said he wants the championship? I hope that they do. What team is he? Orlando. Orlando, I hope they do maybe a Disney World parade. Yeah.

You know what? Give it to UCF. Yeah. Or Georgia. So Steve Spurrier, all-time winning as coach. Trent Richardson, all-time rushing, touchdown leader. 11. The AAF.

What went wrong? So Tom, is his name Tom Dun Dun? Tom Dun Dun. First of all, if you're gonna bail out from a guy named Dun Dun Dun, your league's not in good shape. Nope. He came in and pledged something like 200 million after a week four.

Two-fifty. Two-fifty. He ended up paying $70 million to the league and just losing that. Can I just stop you for a second? I love rich guy finances. Because he never makes sense and they never really pay for what they say they're gonna pay for,

but it's kind of like NFL contracts when the first number comes out and like $120 million contract. Oh, it's only $6 million of its guarantee and they can cut them after four months. Turns out the entire league just failed their piss test. Yeah, every time a rich guy throws up money, it's like, this guy put in $250 million.

Oh, wait, he was paying week to week and he shut down four weeks in? Okay, cool. Yeah, so I have to wonder what kind of arbitrage is at play here because rich guys don't typically just throw away $70 million. Yeah, so what I understand from the little reading that I did was Tom Dun Dun came in

and he wanted to accelerate the relationship with the NFL and the NFLPA to basically make it a minor league system. Charlie Ebersol and Bill Polian, the founders of the AAF, did not want to do that. They had a three-year plan to just not pay anyone, I guess. Can I just say? I hope it lasted.

Real quick, Bill Polian, khaki All-Star. Yeah. If we're talking about the face of the khaki pant, it's like him, Harbaugh, Eric Clapton, and trying to think who the fourth would be. Me, at the Las Vegas Championship after the caps from the Stanley Cup. Also third team, all dad sweater.

Big time, quarter zip sweater, usually a blue sweater. But yeah, so the league fell apart because a guy basically, basically the original owners didn't have money. They needed a rich guy to save them. And the rich guy was like, fuck this, I'm not gonna keep burning money, so we're out. And then Albert Breer said that the speculation was

that he bought, that Dun Dun bought the league just to get access to their gambling app that they were building. So $70 million for a gambling app seems like a shrewd investment. Then again, this guy bought a hockey team in North Carolina. So that tells you a little bit something about Tom Dun Dun. But yeah, it's a shame because I was looking forward

to waking up hungover on my couch on at least two more Saturdays at some point this spring in seeing football on TV. Yeah, so I mean, Mansell would have been fun. He was fun, did he play? Yeah, he played a little bit. I stopped watching after the first week. He played a little bit.

The most electric thing he did was he ate nachos on the sidelines. What part did we have in the failure of the AAF because we stopped talking about it after the first week? I think we tried. We did our best. We tried, but we also... Listen, we're a proven podcast.

Yeah, I also found out that they were paying influencers, but not us. So I was like, fuck that. Fuck that, we're not influencers. You can pay, listen, you can buy me. But if you don't buy me, I ain't doing it. No dice. No dice.

I am to be bought at any time. Okay, there are some very easy steps they could have taken to save the league. One, pay us to have Spurrier miked up on live television every single game. Three, let you kick field goals and not hold. Yeah. Four, play the games up in Canada

so it's snow football for every game. Yup. Five, more scoring. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I bet the over in the first weekend I lost every bet. Six, that's your fault. Six, vortex footballs instead. That's actually, but listen,

a vortex league where every game is guaranteed to go over. Huge. So you can just bet it and you always win. Yeah. We're talking. Huge. Think about that, Hank. Also, no one loses.

A no-lose gambling league. Who wouldn't do that? Who wouldn't do that? Also, Vegas, maybe? Yeah, Vegas would have a problem with it. No, but fuck them. Yeah, take them a while to catch up to that. They also could have had one designated asshole per team

that has to play a certain amount of snaps at running back. Example, Martin Screlli has to play for Memphis, has to take at least six handoffs and just get obliterated. Yes. Just like the National Catharsis Football League. So the, I feel like the ending was very imminent. We not only had Dundun by the league,

but we also had Hackenburg actually be like a focal point of the league. I think that's where it went off the rails was when he got hurt. He got hurt. It was tough to recover from losing your stars. Eminem was the smartest guy in the AAF boardroom and he wasn't even in the boardroom.

So I feel like this is not a shock. It's still sad because we'll remember it that one weekend again in February and now we have the XFL look forward to which, this is again, we can be bought situation. We have a friend who works in the XFL. He showed us some of the new rules and like the scrimmages. It looks cool.

It looks fucking awesome. It looks good. And we will, we have no problem. I think it's okay to admit when you're biased, if you just say it out front, like we actually have a friend and we're rooting for him. Yep. So we're going to be rooting hard for the XFL.

We're rooting hard for the XFL. We have no friends in the AAF. We would root harder if there was a little cash coming. Oh yeah. We would root really hard. Listen, you want to see us? We'll pretend that we love anything. Listen, you give me enough money, I'll get an XFL tattoo.

I said enough. What's enough? I would do it for 200 grand. 200 grand? Yeah. Jesus Christ. I'm not talking about like one on my inner thigh, like an asshole.

What do you want to face? Face tattoo. Now that would take, that would be a lot of money. I don't think my face would be bought. Okay, what about an asshole one? One on my asshole. Inside your asshole. So that way you get a real nice close look at it

when Christian Ellis wins the home run derby. Right up front. Yeah. On interior ass cheek, 100 grand. Damn man, that's too much. I feel like Hank would do it for 200 bucks. Yeah, well that's Hank. No.

Okay. I had to throw it out there. What about dick tattoo? You know what, I get one right underneath, like on the top side of the sack. So when it went up here. Yeah, that would hurt. That would hurt a lot.

You ever nick yourself or shaving? That's like. Oh no, your manscape? Yeah. Dude, you have to. You have to do a little bit. Why? What do you mean?

Wait, Hank, you're full bush? Yeah. Full bush. 70s Hank. I'm just kidding. Just rocking it out. You're gonna wear, maybe put on a Speedo and just let that fucking shit fly?

No, I get it waxed. The bottom line is we're gonna miss the idea that football is on television. Yeah, there's really nothing else that we're gonna miss because we're already into NHL playoffs and NBA playoffs and yeah. It served its purpose. Cool.

Good job. Yeah. You know what it was? The A, I already forgot the name of it. The AFL. Is the AF. AAF. That was the biggest actually problem

is they didn't have an L. Yeah, and you know what? Two vowels at the start of your league. Yes. Listen, these are things that we could have solved. Oh. Wait, how many is? For the first time I said it, I was like,

why is there no L? I don't know it's a leak. It's a federation. What is football? Alliance of American football. There's not even a federation. It's an alliance. Yes.

It was just like a loose agreement between friends to play football. Yeah, if you've watched the Survivor or the Challenge, alliances are always falling apart. Yeah, but here's the purpose that it served. It was like the cocktail hour after a wedding ceremony and before reception got started, right? So you're done with the ceremony.

That part's over. You're just gonna be standing around for like an hour and a half making small talk with people. That sucks waiting for March Madness to start or whatever. See, I disagree. And so you have a little cocktail. You have a bar that's opened up. You drink the groom's cocktail.

Maybe you sample the bride's cocktail. Next thing you know, you're sitting down at your table and the hot bread's already coming out. See, I disagree. I think it was actually the cold pizza that they buy like 50 pizzas at the end of a wedding when the music stops and everyone's sweaty and drunk and like, oh, I'm gonna be really hungover tomorrow.

And then there's that like, maybe like McDonald's or cold pizza in the corner like, hey, we got you this. That's what the AAF was. The party was over. You stick around and you finish that pizza though because you're drunk. Oh, of course. But the party was over.

But we didn't finish this pizza. Yeah, it gives you stomachache. But the next party that's coming up, we've got playoffs in two major sports. Then we've got an action packed summer. Baseball and Women's World Cup. Baseball and Women's World Cup. Fuck yes.

And then it's football again. And then it's football again. And then it's XFL. That's in 2020. Yeah, I know. Yeah. After next, right. After next football season, we have more football.

Right, once we start football. Football again, football will never stop, kind of. This is the spring league that's going to get right. Right. All right, the other story that we had, it was kind of a slow news day. But Coach Kalpari has gotten a deal for life. Yeah.

So now that would still put him on the hot seat, right? Because no one, everyone dies. Bigger hot seat. Right, everyone dies. Now he's forced to confront his own mortality. Right. Like he used to be like, hey, you know, if things don't work out, I can move on, wrong.

Only way you're getting out of this one, buddy, is going six feet under. This also, I think, proves that we were right all along by saying Kal's on the hot seat, because you don't give a lifetime deal if a guy's not on a hot seat. You know what I mean? You just let it ride out because you're like, it's fine.

He's got a contract, it's good. Everything's going well. To do this drastic deal for life, that feels like they're trying to get in front of the hot seat that probably was very, very hot. Yeah, no, he has received a lifetime appointment. He's essentially a Supreme Court justice right now. That'd be awesome if you just coached in the black robe.

He's like the little white lace at the top. Like just teasing you a little bit. Bader Ginsburg was on his staff. Yeah, notorious C.A.L. Yeah, that'd be nice. I think it's a win-win for Kal in the state of Kentucky, because now you don't have to worry about what you're gonna do to replace Kal after he leaves,

because it's not getting any better than Kal. There would be like- Where's the other win? For Kal. Oh. Oh, I was gonna say, the win is that more guys are gonna get trapped in the NBA. Yeah, no, just listen.

There's nothing worse in life than moving. Yeah, true. I'm listening to offers right now. If any company wants to give me a lifetime job, I don't care where it is. I'm listening to it just because I know I will not have to move. I'd agree.

It's absolutely worse. So yeah, he's got a lifetime deal. Good news is no contract in college athletics has ever been broken, one way or the other. It's never has happened. Oh wait, you know what? It's so dumb that it just dawned on me that yeah, they signed him to a lifetime contract.

That's just from Kentucky's standpoint. Right. Like, Kal's gonna be the UCL. He's going to the NBA. He's going to the NBA. Yeah, yeah, pretty much. It still chaps his ass that he wasn't able to succeed at that level.

So he'll be- He's still gonna chase that dragon. Yeah. All right, let's do hot seat, cool throne. Hank, you wanna get us started? Sure. Hank, I gotta say, man, you look like you got a nice pep in your step today.

Thank you. You have such a great attitude. You've really turned it around from your terrible performance on Monday. I appreciate that, Dan. My hot seat is human workers. Yeah. So there's a few things.

There's a video tweeted out today of an Amazon blimp like descending over a city and then like a million drones came out from under the blimp, which I guess was a test to show that drones delivering packages. So that was scary and that would take out all our postal workers. And then more importantly,

the US Open tweeted that they're gonna add puppies as ball boys coming up. That was April Fool's joke. Oh, really? Puppies one. I got fooled. The April third? You got fooled?

Well, I was looking at the news. Got it. Yeah, so the blimp thing was kind of scary. It looked very scary. It looked like a fish swimming through the ocean, just like shooting out its seed onto like a pile of fish eggs. That's how fish have babies.

It looked very, very eerie to me. Like seeing this giant thing, the drone's flying out of it. But they'll probably like, it's kind of like when you're sitting in a basketball game and they have the little blimp come out and they drop free t-shirts. If those are t-shirts and those drones, I'm in.

Yeah, I mean, look, free t-shirts. If you get a free t-shirt from a t-shirt cannon or from the fucking blimp, that's the coolest thing you can do as a fan. Yeah, they should just like line up artillery at the borders of all our cities and just fill them up with t-shirts and launch t-shirts like halfway through the city.

That'd be amazing. People stop worrying about the like drone apocalypse if you just make all the drones carry free t-shirts. They could steal, like a drone could come down from this Amazon blimp, scan my retina, steal all my, you know, my ID and stuff and everything and then hand me like a medium McDonald's t-shirt. And I'd be like, that's a pretty sweet deal.

Also, if you were one of the people that was getting your package delivered this way, it would look awesome. So to everybody in the city, you're like, oh no, this is dystopian, this is weird. But if one of those is meant for you and it flies directly to you and gives you your package, that's fucking awesome.

It gives you your package of like toilet paper that you order on Amazon because it's cheaper. Yeah, you're like, this is what technology is meant to be. This is great. Yeah, sign me up. All right, what else Hank? My cool throne is the rest of the NFL because Tom Brady is retiring.

Also an April Fool's joke. I know, I just, I got that one. Yeah, I was a little rattled from that. Puppy's one, not gonna lie. Yeah, that puppy one's got you a little bit, little, little, hezzy. It's tough to be the guy who doesn't get the April Fool's joke a full day after April Fool's.

Well, I'm pretty sure it was on Barclay just as a regular blog. Oh yeah, we're never wrong. Yeah, nope, never been. And if we are, 50 dollar gift card. And then my real cool throne is teasers and trailers. So Avengers came out with a big teaser trailer, like footage from their new movie.

And then Game of Thrones has dropped multiple teasers in the past few days, which you guys can't talk about. Explain it to big cat, Avengers. It's a bunch of superheroes. Which kinds? Ant-Man. The super ones. But which, aren't there like,

you can't cross Spider-Man. Yep. Batman. Wait, Spider-Man's dead? So it's not all the superheroes. Explain it to big cat. There's the DCU and the MCU. I don't know enough about comments I'm sure.

No, the Spring Football League, United. That sounds like Spring Football League. I know which ones are in which ones. But I don't know like much more than that. Thor. Yep. He's a superhero? He's an Avengers.

Okay. Green Lantern. Nope. Anyone from the Batman universe is not in it. Remember Justice League, the TV show? Superman. No. He's two-faced.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Nope. Thor the Explorer. Nope. Blues, clues. Oh, it's coming back with a new guy. Oh yeah, and the Avengers. Yes.

But Steve is not there anymore. Oh yeah, he was problematic, right? No, I don't think so. Was he? I'm just going to go with Steve's problematic. What do you do? I forget what. OK, someone tell me.

Someone look it up. What does Steve do? Shit. That's a lot. Flintstones. Which ones were they? Steve from Plop. I don't think he's problematic, guys.

OK, go ahead. I'm pretty sure they found like a kid in his backyard. Oh, Jesus Christ. Right, he's underground. Yeah, he got replaced like during Blues, Blues. Yeah, it was quick. I thought he was problematic just because he wore the same stupid green shirt.

He's like Aunt Viv getting replaced after one season. Oh, he lost his hair. Oh. Wait, there's other stuff, though, right? I don't think so. I think he's pretty sure they found a kid somewhere. Yeah, well, I'll find it. OK, all right, you go ahead, PFT.

All right, my hot seat is Tom Izzo. Because he's really good. No, because Tom Izzo himself is on board. The Tom Izzo is overrated bandwagon. Nice. He said that he needs another title to validate his time there as a head coach. No, every head coach needs two titles to be all time great.

OK, so I'm going to consider that a win for myself. And if he wins this year, then guess what? I'm taking him off my overrated list. Got it. How about that? Yeah. My other hot seat is LeBron James. Because a study just came out that a weekly bottle of wine

is as bad as smoking 10 cigarettes. Mm. And we'll actually get to more LeBron in a little bit. Let's think he has LeBron. But that's tough. Also, for LeBron, that's like 70 cigarettes, because he drinks a bottle every night. Yes.

And his kids do, too. My cool throne is saying things with a new fire fest. Yes. Ultra, the music festival happened last week. And there was like a minor transportation snafu. Where like 60,000 people were temporarily stranded. Yeah, that's not great. But they were calling it the next fire fest.

So now everything, everything that sucks. Every minor inconvenience is now the new fire fest. It's really fun to say. Like you go to Chick-fil-A, they don't give you Polynesian sauce. Chick-fil-A is the new fire fest. My personal fire fest. That is my fire fest. Yes.

My train was delayed today. That's my personal fire fest. Yeah, trains are the new fire fest. Hank's on a vacation again. That's, well, no. Hank's the new fire fest. Our show gets better usually, so. Don't be mean to Hank.

We said we were going to be nice to him. Yeah, that's right. Did you find the blue skus? OK, no. That was a pouty face from Hank. That was. My other cool throne. I'm sorry, Hank.

Is the Washington Bullets. Yeah. Because they finally fired Ernie Grunfeld. Yes. What were you doing hiring a guy named Grunfeld to begin with? Or Ernie. Or Ernie. Or Ernie.

Either way, it's a double whammy. Yes. So yeah, they finally got rid of him. They're thinking about firing Scott Brooks. So actually, being an NBA GM is a sweet, sweet gig. Well, the bullets are going to be, they're not going to fire you if they hire you as the bullets GM for the next four years, because it takes time.

To build. You can say we're doing a process. And you're saddled with John Wall's Supermax, which that wasn't my fault. Yeah. That's actually a dream job right now for an NBA GM. Just get in there and suck for a while, and then just accumulate draft picks

and hope you don't get fired like they did up in Philadelphia. Actually, that segues perfectly into my hot seat is Gar Forman and John Paxson, because now they are the idiots in the room. So it's like, you never want to be the last to leave a party. They are the dum-dums. And you could always say, well, it's not Ernie Grunfeld. Well, guess what?

Now Ernie Grunfeld's gone. So you are on the hot seat. That's probably also the wizard's only trading partner was the Bulls. They would just call each other. Hey, what do you think about this deal? By the way, I looked it up. Here's the Blues Clues.

Ready? He said he could not make a lifelong career out of being a children's host. And he said, I knew I wasn't going to be doing children's television all my life, mostly because I refused to lose my hair on a kid's TV show. And it was happening fast. So that was why he was problematic.

Male pattern baldness. OK. I was close. Oh, wait. Oh, hold on. Hold on. The room around me has always been really strange. Some of these claims included death

from a heroin overdose, being killed in a car accident, and what was rumored to have happened to Paul McCartney in 1966, him having been replaced with a lookalike. This is all a lot for Blues Clues. Yeah. OK, so I guess he wasn't problematic. I think we can say he wasn't problematic. All right, yet.

Yet. Yet. I've got my eye on you. My cool throne is Jay Cutler, because today is the 10-year anniversary of the Bears traded for Jay Cutler. And I think we can all look back and say that was a great success.

I think the Bears won that trade. I remember vividly driving in my car, the Avalon RIP, and listening to Waddle and Sylvie on the radio, because they were afternoon that, or they were midday. And I was like, the Bears probably went two suit balls from Jay Cutler. That was the Josh McDaniels bloodletting, right? Yes.

Yeah, so it was. He needed his guys. He needed his t-bos. And Kyle Orton, who we got to get Kyle Orton on the show. I tried to follow him on Instagram a little bit. He's got a protected account. That's so Kyle. And he wouldn't do it.

He wouldn't play ball. I would love to have Kyle Orton on the show. Yeah, so I definitely, all my takes were great when the Bears traded for the show. Yeah, you said that they were going to be great. Two super balls. Two super balls, at least. At least.

I mean, the defense was still good, and you added a franchise quarterback. They should have made the Super Bowl that one year. Yeah, except Jay Cutler's knee. Yeah. Yeah, so good job. But you know what? This is one of those circumstances

where if you're not going to go to a Super Bowl, you might as well have an entertaining quarterback. Like somebody that gives you stuff to talk about. And he sure did. Right, and he sure did. He sure did. He's still paying returns on that. In fact, I would submit that part of my take

might not exist today if Jay Cutler hadn't been traded to the Bears. Sliding doors. Yeah, he gave you a lot to talk about. He gave me a life. I owe my life to him. All right. Isn't it weird, like the shittiest people

that we owe our lives to? I think I probably wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for Roger Goodell. Yeah, probably not. So thank you, Roger. Thank you, Roger. Appreciate it. Who would you not be here today because of?

God. God. OK, shout out God. That is true. God. Oh, no, actually, Rob Gronkowski. Because on your original resume, didn't you do, didn't you quote your Rob Gronkowski hype video?

I made a Rob Gronkowski video called Gronk the World. I want to see that. Dude, Hank's resume is maybe the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life. And now he's the producer of the number one sports podcast. That's why he's the best. I mean that honestly. We love you, Hank.

I love you, Hank. I'm sorry that I was mean to you. Even if you are a FireFest. No, you're not my FireFest. You're my rescue from FireFest. You're my dick-sucking guy. You suck my dick. Wait.

No. No. Yeah, no, yeah. You're my aunt. Wait. If someone was like, hey, part of my take's gone, would you be the, would you Andy King us for us? Yes, definitely.

OK. So you don't actually have to do it. You just have to be ready to do it. You just have to say it on a Netflix documentary that you were going to. But it's actually a meme. You would become the new meme. So it would be a picture of your face everywhere.

Yeah. But part of my take would still live on. Right. Then yes, whatever it takes. All right. All right, dick-sucking guy. Let's do our interview with Christian Leitner. Before we get to that, our friends at Bud Light.

It is March Madness. Bud Light has sponsored us all March Madness. We had the Bud Light Busters, which is one of the best things we do here at Barstool, Oregon. One KB No Swag went to Vegas for all of our 21 plus AWLs out there throughout the rest of the college basketball tournament. Bud Light wants to hook up the award-winning listeners

with some sweet swag so you can look your best when cheering on your team for March Madness. All you have to do is tweet at part of my take and at Bud Light. Take some pictures of you drinking some sweet, sweet Bud Lights, and we're going to select some lucky AWLs and send you PMT and Bud Light swag. It's easy.

Watch college basketball, drink Bud Lights, take pics of you drinking a Bud Light, and then tweet at part of my take at Bud Light and use the hashtag Bud Light Busters, and we'll send you some stuff. We still got the final four going on. We're going to be in Minneapolis. We're going to be drinking Bud Lights,

so make sure you check out Bud Light. Thank you to Bud Light, one of our favorite sponsors. We also are brought to you by our friends at PFT's favorite restaurant in the entire world. What is it? Buffalo Wild Wings. Yeah, that's right, Buffalo Wild Wings. How are you spending March?

How are you spending this tournament? Well, if you were streaming in your office, you're an idiot because the greatest sporting event on the planet and you're stuck watching and work. Well, you got to watch. Don't watch in your silly boy cave. Come on. One of that nine to five become nine to life.

The big dance wasn't made for the tiny screen. Quit your job or call in sick or call in and quit. Just do something. You know what? This is an ad read for a couple of weeks ago before the tournament, so I'm going to add lib here. I hope Buffalo Wild Wings doesn't mind. I know they won't because guess what?

We have some awesome sports coming up. Masters, NBA playoffs, NHL playoffs, Kentucky Derby. You can watch all of that. Listen, that May 5th or May 4th, whenever it is, that Saturday when you have the Kentucky Derby and then NBA playoffs and all the playoffs. The only place to watch it is Buffalo Wild Wings because they will have everything on TV

and they have the best wings in the world. So go right now, check out Buffalo Wild Wings, TVs, beers, wings, nachos, oh, and also my personal favorite, the mini corn dogs. So let's do, as our fancesters did, get rabid, get heated, bear, hug, a stranger, and scream until we bust all our brackets. Buffalo Wild Wings, check them out.

It is seriously the best place on a Saturday or a Sunday or maybe even a random Tuesday night when there's a ton of NBA playoff games going on. Get over to Buffalo Wild Wings. Get yourself some queso, get yourself some wings, get yourself some beers, and enjoy your life. Okay, here he is, Christian Leitner. Ooh.

Okay, we now welcome on very special guest. It is the greatest college basketball player of all time, Duke legend, Christian Leitner. He's here with Land O'Lakes. So Land O'Lakes is doing a really cool competition out in Minneapolis for the Final Four this weekend. They have bots, robots, doing like a shooting contest. And I guess, so are you gonna be shooting

against the robots? No, the robots will have a horse competition between themselves. Okay, so that's all from Land O'Lakes. I think we're actually gonna be there, so we'll see you there as well. I heard that Wisconsin, where I went to college, is actually in the Final Four,

so that's nice that we're back in the Final Four. Feels good, maybe we won't lose this competition. Where are you from? Where are you from on Wisconsin? No, I went to Madison. Oh, but you're not from there? No, no. Because I'm up there all the time doing camps.

You gotta bring about, we gotta talk about muskies too, because those fish are, if anyone's ever been to a lake in the Midwest, it's like, those things are, they're basically dinosaurs. And we'll get to that. But so thank you for joining us, we appreciate it. And I guess I wanted to start with, let's start with the current Duke team

that just got bounced. Were you, do you still root like hard for Duke when they're in the tournament, or do you get disappointed when they lose, when they get bounced? Of course I do, we're all in the Duke family. And I have a son now who's 13 years old, and when he does something good on the court,

my heart gets warm. When he loses, I get a little sad, and I feel the same exact way for the kids that play at Duke nowadays. And I don't know if that's weird, but I love the program so much, and I'm so old now, I'm 50, that these kids literally could be my offspring,

because I have two daughters, one's 22, one's 20, so that's right in the age group. And so I'm very involved, and I get depressed when they lose, and I'm very happy when they win, and I'm sad that they're not gonna be at the final four. I'm sad that the Duke planet, Duke Nation's not gonna be in Minneapolis with me.

Do you get the feeling at the start of every season? Like, can you tell whether or not this is a Duke team that's got what it takes to go all the way, or if this might be like a year that will be good if we make the sweet 16 or lead eight? I think every year I'm expecting them to be good, like the whole world is, I think. I think that's one of the hard things

about going to Duke and playing for Duke, and it's also one of the fun things about playing for Duke is that there's high expectations on you, so Coach K is still there, and they're still getting great players, so I think every year at the beginning in November of every year, I think they're gonna do great. I think they're gonna do well in the tournament.

I hope they make the final four every year. I want them to win every year, but you can't. Sometimes you run across a Michigan State team that's as physical and have maybe a little more junior and senior leadership than we had, and that makes a huge difference in the tournament if you have some upperclassmen that give you some experience. Yeah, that seems to be kind of the M.O. with Duke now

because Coach K has done so well with the one and done era in getting some of the top accrues, but you see a team like Michigan State who they don't have any lottery picks on that team, but they play as a team, so do you think that, like have you talked to Coach K or anyone in college basketball about that dynamic? I haven't, I haven't said to Coach K,

hey, you better start getting some juniors in the tournament. Get some four-year guys, yeah, yeah. Some Juco transfers. No, I haven't said that, but I'll tell you what, I loved when Anthony Goldweir was on the court for them this year because he's a senior, he has some experience, and I think their best team was when he was out there.

He's great defensively. He kept good space on the offense event and kind of gave RJ and Zion their room on the offense event, so I loved when Goldweir was on the court, but part of the reason I loved when he was out there because he's like the only upperclassman with lots of experience, and I mean, I was 50 times better when I was a senior

compared to when I was a freshman, so Coach K is doing a good job in this era with the one and dones and everything's freshman, freshman. He's doing a good job, but it's a hard game because as soon as you get in the tournament and you run across some of these veteran laden teams, it's hard to beat those guys. Yeah, yeah.

I know it's not Mount Rushmore season. We typically say Mount Rushmore's for the summertime, but if you were making your Mount Rushmore Duke players, who's on there? Johnny Dawkins is on there, because Johnny Dawkins... He like started all right. He was, you know, the biggest face for Duke basketball between 84 and 86, and that's when I was 15 years old,

and that's when I fell in love with Duke basketball, so I think Johnny Dawkins has gotta be on there. I would say Grant Hill would be on there, and then you can put anyone you want after those two. So yourself and Wojo. Maybe, maybe, but there's a lot of players out there, and I don't get caught up in who's the best and is Zion the best and is Leighton the best

and is Grant Hill the best, but I do love telling people that the whole reason I went to Duke was because of Johnny Dawkins and Tommy Amaker and Mark Gallery and Jay Billis and all those guys that made me love the Duke basketball program, and that's why I went there. That sounds like the confidence of someone

who knows they were the best. So you were the best Duke player. It's crazy looking at the stats. The fact that you played in 23 out of 24 potential tournament games is insane. Like some guys don't, you know, are lucky to get to a sweet 16, a lead eight, and you played in four straight final fours.

Was it, when you talk about getting tougher and being better your senior year, what was that? Was that Coach K? Or was that your teammates toughening you up? Like what progressed in those four years? It's a combination of both of those things. It's definitely getting tougher. It's being more of a man, being more physically mature,

but it's also knowing the system better. Like when I walked into Duke, Coach K said, you're not gonna play unless you do what we want on the defensive end first. Slap the floor. Slap the floor, play good defense. Then once you are caught up to speed on the defensive end with us,

then we'll let you maybe play a little bit and play on the offensive end. So it takes a year or two just to learn the system so you're not making any little mistakes. And when it's all freshmen out there, they're still making little mistakes defensively. He saw it at the end of the game against Michigan State. That end up costing you the game.

So he does a good job with it. And sure, there's other coaches doing a good job with it, like Calipari, he has a lot of kids that are doing one and done. And it's hard doing that. And it's watered down the game a little bit. And then everyone leaving early for the NBA. I think water's down the NBA a little bit,

but it's hard to stop kids from pursuing their dream. If they have been dreaming of being an NBA player, it's hard to tell them, no, you can't go. Right, right. So you always played with kind of a chip on your shoulder. I thought you were a great competitor. My dad called you a jerk, by the way. So if you have anything you'd like to say to him,

in 1991, he'd say Christian Leighton is a jerk. And then he wet that shot in his face. Where does he live? So I was like, aha, dad. Where does he live? Northern Virginia. Northern Virginia? Yeah, so maybe he's just pissed off that you went to do it.

Yeah, ACC country, big rivalry. But so you always played with kind of a chip on your shoulder. You know, there's that 30 for 30, I hate Christian Leighton. There are a lot of people that didn't like the way you played, but you were a competitor. But that edge had to come from somewhere. Where did you start being like this super hyper competitive dude, did you have a chip on your shoulder from somewhere?

Did somebody slight you? I had an older brother who was four years older. So he was always beating me up and beating me in games. And when he beat me at a game, he'd rub my nose in it. And the game could be something like shooting our paper ball into that basket. And when he was 12 and I was eight, if he made more than me, then he'd run over

and grab my face and rub my nose in it. Like a dog. Like a dog. And I've heard a lot of stories like this over the years from athletes who would say, you know, I had a brother who was three years older and beating me at everything and dragging me to every game to make me play against older players that were better.

And it's a combination of all those things. I had a father who was a coach. Very good basketball coach. Coach's son. Coach's son, that's part of it. I had an older brother who was better than me at everything. So that gets you competitive. And then he would rub my nose in everything when he beat me.

And then I also had a mother who was very competitive. And we would play Monopoly at the table and she would, you know, throw things at me if I beat her. So it's just part of our makeup, but it mostly comes from I think my older brother trying to beat me at everything and trying to get me to catch up to his level. So he didn't beat me at everything.

When we played street hockey in Buffalo, New York, he didn't want to win the game 10-nothing. You know, he wanted it to be a little closer. So he'd hit me in the face and say, get better. And that's where the competitiveness comes from. Okay, what about the first time you ever beat him? Well, his favorite story to tell is that when he was 18, he went off to college and I was 14

and he came back like two months later for fall break and he went to wrestle me and stuff me between the bed and the wall. You know, like you do when you're brothers and he couldn't do that anymore. So that was when all the wrestling and all the fighting started. Torch has been passed.

Yeah, then he stopped. And Torch has been passed. He left you alone after that. Yeah, yeah. So PFD mentioned obviously the documentary I Hate Christian Later. By the way, did that title bother you? The title bothered me until I called my mother

and then I called my mom and I said, can you believe this? And she said, don't be stupid, use your brain. And I'm like, well, what do you mean? And she says, well, they don't want only the Duke lovers and the Latiner lovers to watch this show. They want everyone across the board to watch it. Carolina fans, Kentucky fans, Yukon fans.

So what other way to draw those people in than to say, you know, then the name it I Hate Christian Later because now it's universal. Everyone's going to want to watch it and see what's up and what's going on. And I totally agreed because it's such a provocative title that it just drew everybody in. It's also interesting that they can put something out

like that 25 years later, I Hate Christian Later and everyone's like, ooh, you saw people be like, yeah, I really did hate Christian Latiner, which it might be different for you because you lived through it and you had people truly hate you. But I'd have to think that having that over people, even to this day, where they still,

you can still make people mad. It's kind of a cool feeling. Like you know that you beat everyone so bad. But we don't want to let everyone know that. Don't let them know. Did it ever though get to a point where, because we actually had JJ Redick on the podcast. He's a friend of ours.

And we talked about how his years at Duke and sometimes it actually got to him a little bit. And it made him a different person that he wanted to be because the hate and the constant fans going after him and his family. Was there ever a point there where you're like, this is kind of getting to me a little bit? You know, we want to keep that quiet.

Okay. But the funny thing is that I don't understand why people don't realize that I still have that power over them if they choose to hate me. Like just let it go. How can you ever let anyone have that power over you even for a second? Or if you think about Duke basketball, I mean.

Oh, I hate Duke basketball. Like I wouldn't, I, there's no one in the world that I hate right now because I would never let anyone have that power over me even for a second in my life. So you're smarter than everyone else. No, not smarter. Rational. No, no, no, just more simple, more simple.

I want a slow-paced life and I want a simple life. And to think about everyone else and what they're doing and their hate and how good they are or how bad they are, that's just, it's letting other people occupy your mind. And I don't have time for that. So what was the second part of your question? Did it ever bother me? Yeah, did it ever get to you like while you were at Duke?

Where like, man, I can't, why does everyone hate me so much? I'm just being myself, I'm just competing. Two things. The first is that it did get to me once at LSU when the whole crowd was yelling homosexual or something. Like, and that was in the 30 for 30 J fillet. You could see when I'm at the foul line at that one scene

where like I'm kind of flinching around because I don't know what to do. I don't know whether to shoot my shot or to give them the finger or to just laugh because you know the camera is there too. So you got to be careful. So a little rattled there. And then the other thing is that

I can only hope to be loved by my fans, by people who like Duke. I don't expect the Carolina fans to appreciate me or to love me because I'm trying to beat them every game. So I don't understand the dichotomy of that, of how can you worry about the opposing team's fans because I think they should hate me because I'm there to try to beat their team.

So, and I've never seen a basketball player be universally loved. I mean, LeBron gets booed places he goes and Dr. J still used to get booed in Boston at sometimes and he was my favorite player of all time practically. So Zion comes pretty close. But I think part of the reason why some rival fans were able to cheer for Zion is because they're like,

thank God he's not gonna be here next year. True. With you, it's like, we'll probably be here seven years and you had the four final fours in a row where people, there is definitely some, yeah, when you're on the national stage, everyone's like, damn, is this guy still in college? How is he still in college?

And every, from March 1st until April 10th, it was like, Christian Leightner month. For four years in a row. Yeah, that can happen. It's just part of the game. Yeah, why'd you, besides, you watch Johnny Dawkins, what was there about Duke that made you wanna go there? You're from Western New York,

so I'm sure that Syracuse was in play for you at the time, right? Why'd you decide Duke instead of Syracuse? Well, I thought the ACC was the best form of basketball, best style of basketball for my game. If you remember in 82, 83, that was when Ralph Sampson was dominating at Virginia and they went to like three final fours

in a, you know, three and four years or something like that. And so when I started watching college basketball on TV, it was Ralph Sampson and the ACC. Then it was like the big East and Georgetown years, you know what I mean? And then I started to see North Carolina and the way they played, and I loved North Carolina too. Then I started to hear about Duke

and how they played motion offense and they let their big guys be outside a little bit. And at Georgetown and Syracuse, like the centers had to be in the lane the whole time. So I thought the ACC style of play fit my game the best. And then Duke, the thing about Duke was they had never won. Coach K was the hottest coach in the nation right around then. He was just blowing up in 86, 87.

So I wanted to be a part of something that had never been done before. They had already won a championship at Carolina. And I only made three visits. It was all ACC schools, Carolina, Duke, and Virginia. If I didn't go to Duke, I would have went to Carolina. But I went to Duke because I loved their nickname and the colors and the blue and white

and the Adidas and the Adidas Top 10s they were wearing. And I just loved everything about it. And then the clinching factor is Coach K. Yeah, do you think you get hated the same amount if you were at North Carolina or Virginia? It's like a chicken and the egg kind of thing. We were at North Carolina, and we went to four straight final fours and three national championship

games and two titles. Maybe, yes. It is chicken and the egg because if you go somewhere else, Duke probably doesn't win those two titles. And now the hatred for Duke isn't the same level. You kind of started it all. You're patient zero, yeah. Maybe.

Maybe. Yeah, if you go to Maryland, everybody hates Maryland to this day. Well, you guys are. We would hate Wondick. You're being a little nice now because I don't know if I go to Maryland if we win more Maryland just because of me.

It's not an individual sport. It's a team sport. You need very good players around you like Bobby Hurley and Grant Hill and Thomas Hill. My buddy Thomas Hill who's up here in New York City. Yeah. Did you ever get angry when a new Duke player comes along like a J.J. Reddick or Grayson Allen?

Everyone's like, this guy's the most hated Duke guy. You're like, wait, hold on. I'm still here. No, I love that. If some of the hatred gets taken, even though I don't hinge my happiness on it, if it happens naturally, where some of the hate gets taken away from me, I don't mind. Yeah.

Now you're kind of, it's actually probably nice to be like in a fraternity of hate instead of just the soul hated guy. You're the founder. Like, yeah. You're just like a group of, they'd rattle off a bunch of names now. You're right. It's much better to be included in a group of three or four.

And I didn't mind when Grayson was hated a little bit. I didn't like him to see him make a little mistakes and, you know, a kicking or tripping there. I didn't like to see that, but it doesn't hurt to be grouped in a bigger group of than just one. Yeah. So you know that Duke gets all the calls, right? But I have a theory behind why the refs always

cheat in favor of Duke for you guys. It's because you're so diligent about doing that little teamwork huddle after every single break in the action. And I'm convinced that you guys don't even say anything to each other in that little, what could you say? After every foul shot, after every little whistle, but the refs see that and they're like,

these guys are disciplined. They would never commit an intentional foul. I totally agree with you. And the funniest thing that I saw on Facebook after the UCF game, I don't know if you guys saw it, but these guys acted like they were the producers for CBS. And they were like, OK, we can't let Duke win. We can't let Duke lose.

As soon as this guy takes the shot for UCF, I'm going to push the button. The rim's going to move. That actually happened. That did happen. But then we got to do it twice because the rebound came in. Well, how do you explain in 2015 in the national title game when Wisconsin had like two fouls in the first half

and then 13 in the second half, other than, you know, want Duke to win? You know, sometimes the powers that be want the product that is the best product. Oh, OK, OK. No, I think my dad was right. Yeah, yeah. But seriously, what do you guys say

in those little group huddle meetings? We say, come on, and let's do better. And maybe. Coach K won't let us wear our jerseys. Maybe Bobby Hurley and I would say different things than they say to each other now. But yeah. But they encourage each other.

They say what they're going to do on defense. They say what play they're going to run on offense. So there is a purpose to it. Yeah. All right. So Duke, obviously, like I said, I introduced you as one of the best college basketball players of all time, four straight final fours.

Which I think is crazy. Really? The best college players of all time are Pete Merovich and Karim Abdul-Jabbar. Luhal Sender, the first. And then maybe Pete Merovich. You're in the conversation. Most prolific.

No, I'm in the kind. I don't know what the word is, decorated or prolific, maybe successful in terms of just getting to the final fours and championship, but not even close to the best. Because I only averaged 22 points maybe at my best. Oh, yeah, only 22. But there's been way better players.

When I go to bed at night, I might say to myself, OK, success. We had some success. Because we went to four straight final fours and three championship games, blah, blah, blah. But I don't ever think about best in college history. And I don't need to hang my head on it because it's not true. OK, so here is something that you did. You were the only college player who was on the Dream Team,

which is the greatest collection of basketball players of all time. Do you ever sit back and think, like, holy shit, that was wild? I do. That's exactly what I say. I say, oh my god, I can't believe I was a part of that. And it was like I was a kid on a roller coaster, just hanging by the seat of my pants,

having the greatest time, laughing, giggling, playing against all these guys that I looked up to, all these guys that I tried to make my game like theirs. Larry Bird and Magic Johnson were the first guys I ever saw, 6'9", 6'10", bringing the ball up, having guard skills. So to be on a team with them was just awesome. What team were you on for the greatest practice ever?

Now, this is the 92 Dream Team. And they had, it's like the most famous practice of all time, basically the best collection of players, Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, Charles Barkley, all these guys. Which side were you on for that? I can't recall. I'd have to watch the film. But I think I was on Jordan's team.

And we might have lost. I don't know. I don't remember. I would have to watch it. I would have to watch it again. Were the guys nice to you? I mean, you were obviously so much younger than a lot of them and hadn't accomplished anything in the NBA yet.

You know, they were totally awesome after the first practice. Once they realized that I wasn't too much of a prima donna. And once they realized that I could take an elbow from Patrick Ewing and not cry about it, they were awesome to me. They just wanted pro athletes like for rookies to act like rookies, you know, get their cigars, carry their laundry, get them orange juice if they want orange juice. And I was very willing to do that.

So once they saw that I was willing to act and behave like a rookie, they accepted me. And they were all awesome to me. Yeah. What were those games like? Were players keyed up to play in them? Were they focused? Or were they just like, hey, we're

going to dominate this country? They were super keyed up. They knew they were going to dominate. But the world in 1992 was starting to say, oh, we got good players in Europe. And we got good players in Germany and all this other stuff in Spain. And the guys on the team really wanted

to show the rest of the world that we were still by far the best. And I heard them say things like, we want to win by 40, 50 points in the locker room. Because they started to get mad that the rest of the world thought they were catching up with us. Most impressive stat, I think. You guys didn't use a single timeout, that entire tournament. And it was the greatest thing ever.

Yeah, it was. It was domination. Yeah. Did you play one on one against any of the guys? That's the greatest thing. Besides representing your country and winning a gold medal in the Olympics, the greatest thing for me was that I got to play one on one with all those guys.

Every single one? Did you beat anyone? Excuse me. I don't think I played with magic because he was always doing media stuff. Right. See, we would play one on one once practice was over and the media would come in.

And Magic and Michael would have to go there. And then me and Chris Mullin, who no one wanted to talk to, and Chris Mullin didn't want to talk to, no one wanted to talk to me. Chris Mullin didn't want to talk to him, to the media. So we would go play. But I don't think I played against magic because he was always doing media requests.

I don't think I played it. Oh, I did play against Larry. And I think I only got one turn against Michael. Did you win any of them? One exchange. No, of course not. That's so fucking awesome. I know your dad would have enjoyed it.

Yeah, he would have. That would have been a sweet release for him. Were you out with Charles Barkley when he threw that guy through the window? He did that during the Dream Team. I thought so. I don't think so. I think it was.

He got into a fight in Barcelona. Yeah. I wasn't out with him there, but we did go out in Portland. We had the Tournament of the Americas in Portland. And he and I went out a few times for dinner and Chris Mullin. And they're just awesome times. But I can't believe how I'm still shocked to this day on how good they treated me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know why. Even Jordan, he was a Carolina guy. But he was awesome to me too. They were all awesome. And then you actually, you had a very successful career in the pros. How long did you play for, like, 13 years?

14 years. 13 years. You averaged, like, 12 points a game, something like that. What was the big transition? Was there a point where you get to the NBA and you're like, hey, this is a business now. It's no longer, you know, like, all the fun I was having back at Duke, I have to change the way I do a certain thing?

Well, that's part of the not fun about the NBA is that it does turn into a business a little bit. You wish it could just be basketball. But even in college, it's not just basketball. It's school and some other parts of life and basketball. You always wish it could just be basketball, but it's not. And in the NBA, there's a lot of other factors going on. But I loved every second of it.

Even when I was on losing teams, you love every second of it. I mean, it's the best life in the world. You're playing at the highest level. You're getting paid some money. Everything's five-star, five-star travel, five-star hotels. So it's just the greatest life. And I'd give anything to be 25 and be able to go play again. So I was listening to an interview that you did not too long ago.

And you basically said that. You said the NBA was the best and it was so much fun. Now, though, today's day, it feels like a lot of guys aren't having fun day to day. And there's a lot of guys that are unhappy with their situation. It's been kind of a story about this NBA season, Anthony Davis, Kawhi and San Antonio, all that stuff. What do you think starts that?

Is it social media? Is it that everyone's a hyper celebrity now? Why aren't guys seem to be having more fun in the NBA? Well, when you start saying, I want to go to this team and that team, then people think you're unhappy. So then the whole dialogue of they're not as happy as they used to be starts going in an infinite circle. And that's why I never said, I don't like this team.

I want to be on another team or I demand to be traded. I never did that. I don't think people should do that because a whole new whirlwind starts. Anthony Davis might just want to be on the Lakers because he might want to win a championship or have a better chance to win a championship. But once you say it and you say you want to leave your team,

bad things can happen. And bad things happened to me. And I never even said I wanted to leave my team. And I think it's the greatest honor in the world to be on one team for your whole career because that means they want you, you're good enough, and they never want to give you up. So I wanted to stay on the Timberwolves forever.

Yeah. Is that where you had the most fun playing? That's where I started. I had a lot of fun there. But I had the most fun you can possibly imagine every step along the way, every day playing in the NBA. That's great. It doesn't matter where I was.

Washington, Minnesota, Atlanta, every day is the best. Yeah. That's a good attitude to have. Yeah. All right, I had two last questions. What's the biggest muskie you've caught? A 54 and 1 half incher out of Lake Bemidji in Minnesota. If people listening don't know what a muskie is,

go just Google it. It is. They're prehistoric fishes. They will eat a dog. They will eat a small dog if your little poodle jumps into the lake. They're enormous. They're the biggest, baddest fish in the freshwater.

And they're a lot of fun. They're ugly as hell. They just slowly go around. They'll be swimming around. And they're crazy. Muskies are crazy. What do they taste like? You don't eat them.

We will kill you if you eat a muskie. Really? You must put it back and let someone else catch it. Let it keep getting bigger and bigger. That's it. So they're just a bunch of fish that have been caught before. They're like dinosaurs.

Yeah. And they don't remember that they got caught. Yeah. Well, they're not smart. And once you hook up to a big one, like a 50-incher, it's like having your fishing line caught up on a bull. It's just bucking all over the place and jumping out of the water and going out under the boat.

And it's just a lot of fun. If you enjoy fishing, they're the funnest fish to catch. Hell yeah. And then my other last question was, what is your favorite wing place in Buffalo? There's too many. There's too many. But my favorite wings were, my mother just passed away,

well, two years ago. But she would make the best chicken wings. She'd fry them like everyone else would. And then she'd put her sauce on them. But then she'd put them in the oven and dry them up a little bit. They were just awesome. But in Buffalo, New York, you can't go wrong, really,

any place. Yeah. We're Gabriel's Gate. And Bar Bill. Those are our two favorite places up there. For sure. My last question, your middle name's Don. Donald, yes.

That's a cool. Like Don Laetner would have been a better name. Yeah, if you had just gone with Don, I think people would be like, this guy kicks ass. Don Laetner? My dad would have been like, I love Donny. Oh, Don Laetner, look at him. Look at Don Laetner, slapping the floor.

He's cool. Don's better, OK. Don's better just if you ever in need of a rebrand. It's not too late for me to change my name legally. No, Don Laetner also sounds just like a good salesperson name. Yeah, that is. Hey, I'm Don Laetner.

Don Laetner. Can I show you this used car? Don Laetner, how the hell are you? This is Western New York, Don Laetner. Yeah. Oh, actually, also, Coach K, how much does he dye his hair? I don't know, but he's got a little bit. We are duke haters, admitted duke haters.

But I actually think, when we were talking about earlier, how you can't let the hate, like people, you can't let other people have the power over you. I think part of the hate is what makes sports fun. Like I despise duke, and I have fun with it. And it's a little ingest, and it's a little tongue in cheek. And I realize all that, and I don't mind it. And a lot of time, people walk up to me in the airport,

and they say, I freaking hate you, but they pat me on the back. You know, it's just kind of like that. Right. And there's also, like, you have iconic moments that they remember, part of their life, and part of their sports watching life. So I think there is that, where it's like,

I hate Christian Laetner, but he also has, I have memories of him that are. It's ingest, and a little tongue in cheek. I'm sure Kentucky fans actually hate you. And you can. There goes on. They actually, like, when they say they hate you, they really hate you.

Yes, but I go to Kentucky to musky fish all the time. I have two last questions. First is, how much did Coach K pay you? Not a dime. Not a dime. So more than a dime. Someone else. So a lot more than a dime.

A lot more than a dime. OK, my second question is actually kind of serious, because you are one of the best, or most clutch athletes, I think, in the last 30, 40 years. It's like you, Vinitari, Jordan. There are some other names up there. Tom Brady, I guess. Jay Cutler.

If you're going to make me, Jay Cutler, Danny Woodhead. All these names come to mind. But for you, was it something where the game slowed down in these situations, where it was at the end of the UNLV game, at the end of the Kentucky game? Or did you get more calm? What was being in that moment like for you,

and why do you think you were so successful? I don't know if things slowed down, but it just feels like you've been here before. And we've done this. And especially with me, now, when I was a sophomore and I hit the shot against Yukon, that was a little bit of a frenzy and a quick hitter. And when we came out of the timeout,

I was supposed to throw the ball to Phil Henderson. And then right at the last second, Coach K changed the play. So that was kind of like a new thing, a really quick hitter thing, but we still handled it well because Coach K trains us in those situations. Okay, he, at the end of practice, every day, he'll say, okay, the starters are down two points

with eight seconds left. Let's see who wins, you know? So he trains you at that. And then, so things do slow, not slow down, but you feel like you've been in this situation before. And then what was the second part of your question? Is your mindset more calm? My mindset, my mindset.

I want to stick it to these guys. No, my mindset came from a pure place than that. My mindset is I don't want to lose for the Duke family. I don't want to let down the Duke program or the Duke family. So I think that's like the purest thought you could have. Cause if you say to yourself, I want to hit a last second shot.

I want to hit a last second shot. That's a little selfish in my opinion. So in my mind and my soul and my heart, before the Kentucky shot, I'm thinking, I don't want to let the Duke people down. So I think that comes from a pure place. I think it frees you up a little bit. Clutch gene.

Maybe a, no. You got the clutch gene. That's what we're really getting at. No, I do not. There's no such thing. Is the clutch gene real? No, not real at all. Are you a Buddhist?

No, I'm not Buddhist, but I've been told that a few times before in the past, over the last 20 years, where they're like, some of the things you say or think is a little Buddhist. I think it's your way, you're talking in a very soothing manner. But it just, it frees you up.

If you think, I want to do this, I want to do this. It just makes it a little too selfish. If you say, gee, I don't want to lose for the Duke team, or I don't want to see Coach K disappointed in me, then it just comes from a pure place. Okay. So the clutch gene exists. Yeah.

It's okay to say. It's okay to say every time, like I don't want Coach K to be disappointed in me. What Christian just did for all the listeners, he knows he has the clutch gene, but if he says he has the clutch gene, then someone like Elon Musk is going to harvest his organs to try to find the clutch gene.

You're going to synthesize it. So it's smart of you to just deny that the clutch gene exists. Yes, I don't want to be put in a laboratory. Yeah, he'll get you in there. All right, Christian, thank you so much. Land O'Lakes, appreciate it. We'll see you on Sunday. Awesome.

We're going to be there. We're going to watch the bots shoot, play some horse. And you guys will be there. Yeah, we'll be there. Awesome. We'll be dynamics competing in this. They have one of their robot dogs that's shooting bad balls yet.

I hope not. I actually might see you Friday too. I think you're coming on our video show. Bring you a recording device. We'll do a little show. Okay, perfect. Thanks, Christian. Thanks, fellas.

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Okay, let's get to some segments. First up, we have a shoe roast for the NFL's new draft hats. The NFL came out with their draft hats today. And I don't really understand what they're doing. Well, it's the NFL doing the NFL. This is what Roger Goddell is really, really good at. And that's just finding a one-off occasion

and then selling a bunch of shit on top of it. So they designed all 32 teams brand new hats. They tried to incorporate some of the state flags into them. So this basically the NBA city, city jerseys, right? Yeah, most of them just ended up looking like a dog crapped out of Jackson Pollock painting and said, here's your new hat. It's going to be $39.99.

Couple good ones, but like the chief's one, I don't understand, that one makes no sense. The Steelers one looks like you're driving an old yellow cab. Yeah, it looks like you're in a ska band. Yeah. And the Chargers one looks awesome. I like the Chargers one. Yes.

It's very sudden. The Bears is just the Bears. They literally are just the Bears. The Raiders one looks like a Blue Lives Matter flag a little bit. It's got the American flag and then the Raiders shield on it. Either way, good job NFL, because you got us talking about your hats.

We are talking. Literally, we fell right into the trap. It basically, they put a big piece of cheese out in the middle of the floor and we're like, ooh, that cheese looks good. Snap. You're talking about the NFL in the middle of April. This is the nail in the coffin for the AAF.

This is what did it. It's a flex. Yeah, no, well, it came out before the AAF folded. And they were like, you know what? We can't compete with Draft Night hats. Right. We don't even have hats for game day. You can't even pay your players and people

are going fucking crazy for a draft hat that looks like shit. Yeah. And people buy it. They're going to buy them. Oh, yeah. The Giants one looks like it's got a barbed wire tattoo around the entire hat, which is very appropriate for the fan base.

Jaguars looks OK. Dolphins looks OK. The Saints one just looks like they just got lazy. That's a major Louisiana who cares hat right there. There's still more. It's just three Florida Lees on there instead of one. Yes. All right, next up we have a LeBron.

What do we even call this? Just LeBron Stinks, literally? Yeah. LeBron Stinks, literally, new segment of Lardank. LeBron Stinks, literally, Channing Fry did an interview on a podcast. And he said, about LeBron, there's three things that he tells everyone.

Number one, he has smelly breath, smelly breath. That was number one. So it's got to be really smelly. Number two, he was a freak of nature. And then number three, Kyle Korver and I fixed his jumper for one year. So LeBron James has stinky breath, which shouldn't surprise anyone.

Yeah, I am not shocked at all. Not just because of the wine, but because LeBron definitely is surrounded by yes men. And he probably just does his halitosis breath in everyone's face. You think Maverick Carter's going to be like, hey, Bron, how about a fucking piece of Trident? Yeah.

Hey, Rich Paul, this is my breath smell. No king. Hey, king, how about an Altoid? No one's saying that. As a matter of fact, the king's breath is actually the best breath, right? Yes. If you were to go back to old times, the king's foot,

that was a size of, that was a unit of measurement of the ideal foot. Yes. So yeah, LeBron, your breath smells perfect, king. Yeah, he, this is, this is so, and you know what? Like, this obviously shouldn't matter for someone of LeBron's stature, but it definitely, if someone tells you you have bad breath,

it's very like unsettling. Because you wonder, first of all, how long have I had bad breath? That like, has my mouth just smelled like a poopy diaper for a really long time? I don't know. I've been talking to people all the time, and you start questioning everything.

So LeBron, LeBron's definitely sitting at home right now, doing the. Oh yeah. That thing. Bad breath is the great equalizer. Everybody can have bad breath. And when you do, I don't care if you're the biggest star on the planet, or you're

a guy that's selling hot dogs at the game, you're like, fuck. Yeah, if you go, oof, you're breath. You could be, you could have a billion dollars, look great, be the king of the world. You're going to feel very self-conscious in that moment. How much wine do you think he's going to drink to get rid of that bad breath? A lot.

A lot, a lot. He's probably going to come out with like a mouthwash slash wine combo. Yeah, so what, Lister Quill. Lister Quill, oh, hey. That's what he needs. Lister Quill. Actually.

Knock him out for the entire playoffs. He'll go zero dark 30. Perfect segue. We have a new drunk idea from both Liam and Hank. Very excited for this. Lister Quill was the last one, which was, the fact it's not made yet is crazy. Or you can make your own.

All you just need is a bottle of each. I wouldn't recommend it. And then a third bottle to mix it in. Be careful. Yeah. Yeah. But Bubba, why don't you start with your drunk idea? This is the producer's drunk idea.

I'm very excited for this. OK, so when everybody's looking for a new restaurant, they go to Yelp. But the majority of people, especially like around my age, only care about how it looks on Instagram. So we need an app where you just rate it based on how Instagram worthy it is. Instagram.

So we've got that matcha shop on the corner. And I'm convinced that all matcha shops were just designed for Instagram. They're like pink and green and very friendly to taking pictures of your, it's actually like a baby poop colored drink. But for whatever reason, you throw the right filter on there, it pops on IG.

Liam, may I add to the idea? Yes. OK. I love it. But here's what we do. You go to a restaurant, and whatever you order, the waiter then they send, the restaurant sends you a text message with an awesome picture of what you ordered.

So it's like a professional photo of what you ordered so you can put it on Instagram. Well, because even like the food could be good. But if it doesn't, if it's not presented well, then people don't care. Right, so doesn't, so you know, if you come to my restaurant, you know you're going to get a very grammable picture.

And we do different pictures, different angles, so it's not all the same. So we have like 100 different pictures of the tomato soup. Why not also just have your servers trained in photography? That works too. So they come out and they take the picture for you. Or someone walks around with a big light. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

So you've got the whole set up there, and it's like a photo shoot at every single table. Also, I feel like there's a lot of shaming going on recently of people taking pictures of the food before they eat it. It's utterly ridiculous and stupid. Yeah, so in this case, this is an unshamable restaurant. This is for the people that are sick of being shamed. Yes.

But you're still going to shame you. Shamable. Yeah, unshameless. Shameless. Yeah. Boom. Done. And William H. Macy's there.

Yeah. Feeding his son's college resume into a wood chipper. Hank. I like that idea. That's a six and a half out of 10. I give it three balls. All right, I'm going to keep it short, see if you guys click, and then I'll explain more.

OK. A podcast about commercials. OK, you have my attention. I like that. So I mean, you guys know, we watch a lot of TV on the weekends, and part of me hates commercials, but part of me, like, you know, in some March Madness game, you know you're going to stick through the commercials

and watch them all. Some of them I like. Some of them you go to hate. Some of you grow. They grow on you, and some of them you get sick of. So this podcast would just be talk. Talk about your favorite ads. We could get some of the writers.

I'd be interested in hearing from the Geico commercial writers, maybe the progressive writers, seeing how much they hate that girl. I think there's a whole. This was born for Darren Revelle. I was going to say. This is right in his wheelhouse. So you need him, but then you need someone

that's like a more likable version of him to actually do the show. Jenna Jamison. Jenna Jamison and Darren Revelle teaming up at last. Fuck at the end of everyone. And we get to watch Darren. We get to hear Darren fucking. Who's the person that you'd least like to see a sex tape from?

Forced to watch. I think we should breed. I think we should breed a new Darren Revelle and just get him out of here. Our own Darren Revelle. I don't think you can eat this Darren Revelle. He doesn't sleep. He's old.

He's actually 40. Yeah, he's like 40. If we could get someone younger. Younger and hungrier. I don't know. There's no one who's hungrier than him. He fucking eats like one bite of everything. Everybody knows rules.

That's a good idea. We'll put that in the idea for the. Hank, I like that idea. Why don't we just do a commercial of the week on this show? We can. That's kind of where it started. I was like, oh, we should talk about commercials. Then I was like, wait, that sounds

like the most boring segment ever. But it's more of a niche podcast, niche audience. But I think if we reviewed a commercial a week, it would kind of be funny if it was a ridiculous commercial. Yeah. I mean, that's where it depends. That's what the NCAA commercials, for example. Great commercial.

Orange Vanilla Coke. You hated it. But now it's like I kind of get stuck in my head. I like them. I know. The Sonic commercials, I originally hated them. But now they're on so consistently that you just kind of like them.

Progressive commercials are the worst. Wait, you like the Sonic guys, but you don't like Flow. Hey, Flow. Flow has 20 times the range. Oh, what about that guy, that other guy sucks? The fucking orange head guy who's trying to be the new Flow? Oh, yeah.

The guy that's saying, fuck him. Yes. Yes, see, we need to like get our anger out on him. And then the Geico commercials are funny. Like those are like well-written. Yeah, the old ones that they're bringing back are great. Yep. OK, commercial a week.

And everyone watches TV, so the market is already there. Or how about this? How about we write our own commercial for a product that has a shitty commercial on television right now? Well, that would be part of the commercial a week segment. We fix it. Yeah, we fix it. Yeah.

But now, here's the last question about this. Would this be not relatable to all the cord cutters listening? No. I mean, how do you watch Mars Madness? There's commercials even on illegal reddit streams. Yeah. So we could have little pop-up ads for horny singles in your area.

We could review those too. Pop-up out of the week for the millennials. I like that. OK. Yeah, ads you click that you think are ad-joc. Oh, shit. It's a cartoon. I am horny.

Does it ever just blow your mind? Do you want this, baby? Does it blow your mind how many horny singles there are in your area all the time? No, it's the new fucking animation that's really the porn animation that all the ads are. Play this game and see how long you can last. Well, yeah, I'm not.

I don't really come while I'm playing video games. It's too much. Come right before and then right after. All right, last up we have. I like that, Hank. We'll do commercial a week. We're going to try it out on Friday's show. All right.

I'm just saying, I think there's a meanwhile. Don't think about what commercial they want to do. It should be called Brand New Segment. Brand New Segment. Me, me, me, me, me. Here we go. All right, last up before we get you guys on chicks. Protect the shield.

We're going to protect Patrick Reed's shield because Patrick Reed, his mom, got upset. My computer might blow up, by the way, if anyone's hearing that. OK. So should we avoid? No, I just wanted to put down the record in case it does. OK.

That's fair. So Patrick Reed somewhere. Jeff Shackelford wrote an April Fool's joke column where he said that Patrick Reed is consulting with Guy Fieri for the master's dinner, which is actually not. That's an April Fool's joke. You're flying a little too close to reality. Yeah.

Fucking, who would believe that? Yeah. Well, actually, the Guy Fieri idea and the puppies at the US Open idea, those are just great. Yeah, those are just great ideas. Yeah, April Fool's joke shouldn't be good ideas. Yeah, that just pisses me off. Yeah, so like the casino zoo idea that we put

into the song, Who Cares It's Louisiana? Yeah. That's a, we made that up. Right. But after I wrote it down, I was like, fuck, I would go seven days a week to the zoo casino. Absolutely. You tell your driver kids off of the zoo?

No, I was going to say the casino. The casino, and then I go to the zoo. Zoo, yeah. So then Patrick Reed's mom replied to Jeff Shackelford saying it was a joke. It's April 1st, saying, of course, I'm just going to say it's Gioff, because that's how you always pronounce the Jeff with a G.

A joke is someone else's expense. Obviously, you can tell the importance of one's job when they have to stoop to such low levels. Hashtag funny, not funny, Gioff. Funny, not funny is a great hashtag, too. Now, here's a couple of questions. One is, how could you be offended by this? Two is, I'm pretty sure Patrick Reed has divorced

from his parents. Remember that story? So is Patrick Reed's mom still going to bat for Patrick Reed on Twitter to try to get him back? I think quite the contrary. I think Patrick Reed's mom's going to bat for Guy Fieri. I think she was pissed off that he was making fun of Guy Fieri.

That makes sense. By saying, like, my shithead son has such bad taste that you would think that he would hire Guy Fieri when, in reality, Guy Fieri should be reserved for the upper echelon of flavor pellets. Yes, I'd agree. So that's what it is. So she's mad at, OK.

So she's mad at Guy Fieri's landing. I can get behind that, too. Don't bring Guy Fieri down to that level. Funny not funny, Gioff. Let's just quickly, I'm just going to quickly just do a quick hashtag search. How many? Oh, that's the only one ever.

That's the only one ever, yeah. Funny not funny, Gioff. What were some of the menu items on Guy Fieri's? Let's see. Fried bacon mashed potatoes. Something definitely would have been out of bounds. What was it? You had it?

Oh, there's probably donkey sauce and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. Guy and I chatted at length about the menu, and we were pleased to welcome him to the team. He's going to ensure Patrick stays on his current diet while all the former champions get something better than what the club wanted Patrick to serve.

No idea about menu. So Gioff didn't go far enough. That's the only thing that you should do if you're doing this. Yeah, just do a fake menu and be like, hey, here it is. There actually was a fake Patrick Reed menu that went viral a few months ago. Yeah, what was on it? It was a shit sandwich.

Yeah, it was basically like hot dogs and macaroni and cheese. Yeah, it's a fuck you grilled cheese. Yeah, pretty much. I'm still your, look for your wallet. Oh, wait, it's gone. Burger. You can't pay for anything. So nobody eats.

All right, Hank, guys on checks, let's do it. So you want to see Chica? Sup boys, especially dad cat. I've started doing this thing where when I'm hungover and I go pee in the morning, I'll pee once, wash my hands, then immediately pee again. What is wrong with me? Wait, say it again.

Pee in the morning. I'm hungover and I go to pee in the morning, I'll pee once, wash my hands, then immediately pee again. That's a good, you just. I feel like when you're hungover, all bets are off. Whatever you got to do to make the hangover go away. I agree. It's a fair game.

I agree. Yeah, straight up. I mean, there are times where I'll wake up in the morning, I'll just sit down on the toilet and just I'll pee and then I'll wait so long that I'm so hungover that I'll just pee again. Yeah, that's true. So she's good.

So she's good, you're fine. You're fine. Yeah, drink more. That's actually true. If you drank more before you went to bed, you have to pee harder when you got up and you get rid of all the dregs. I drink a lot of water before I go to bed.

Yeah. What's up, guys? Except Heartless Hank. Oh! No. My boyfriend recently made a burner account on Twitter and has become completely obsessed with trolling online. It's really corny to me and I just don't get it.

But he has completely stopped all of their social media and engulfed himself with this. Every tweet he sends, he makes them seem less and less attractive to me and I don't know how to confront him about it. What do I do? It's important to have hobbies. What a loser.

Hank, as a former troll yourself, do you want to explain? I mean, this guy's a loser. I don't think there's anything. You've got to break up with him. Just get him out of your life. I get like, so the mind of an internet troll, it's a complex thing. But at the end of the day, I just, all I can think back to

is like, eventually that person's going to grow up and be like, what was I doing? Yeah, I also think there's degrees to trolling. Yeah. So trolling can mean a lot of things to a lot of different people. Like, is he just, is he making fun of people? Is he like dropping like racial epithets?

Because once you cross a certain line, then it's no longer trolling. Right. You're just being in a complete asshole. But just think about it, like every troll has grown up and just given up trolling at some point. Yeah. So just think a phase.

If you're in the phase of trolling, just realize that you're going to grow up and grow out of it. And maybe just accelerate that a little bit. No, what you got to do is dox them. Yeah. Dox them. Dox your boyfriend. End it.

Yes. End it right now. Hey, PMT boys. Just wondering, is it normal for you to look at remnants on the toilet paper after you poop? Yes. I figure that was the only way to know if you need to keep wiping it off.

But now I'm starting to doubt the normalcy of that. Thanks, Peter. Yeah. How else do you know how to stop? Always. Always. Do you guys look at a Kleenex after you sneeze? Also, there's 50% of time there's blood.

That's true. What about the times where you wipe and then you're done wiping, and then you do one for safety, and then it's like full again? Free start, yeah. I was like, did I just poop? I don't know. You did.

You did. Yeah, I got some issues. Hey, boys, especially Hank. Did your voice just crack? Yep. Thank God you didn't have to get a cat. Oh, thank you. I just started dating this guy, and so far,

he seems pretty perfect. The one thing turning me off, he has really, really tiny hands, like really tiny. How concerned should I be about this? Slash, if this is a big deal, do I wait it out and make sure there's the only thing wrong with him, or do I end things right away? PMT, you want to take this?

Yeah, Rhea, that's a good question that you have. I think that his hands are just fine the way they are. He's good at pressing record and pressing stop button, and there's nothing to complain about there. Well, as someone who has over nine-inch hands and can be in the NFL, unlike my co-hosts, mine are exactly nine inches, by the way. They weren't, I measured them, and they weren't.

You took a, like, a Nats eyelash off. This is like the five, 10, five, nine, five, eight floating scale. No, five. But yeah, just see if you can grip a football if you can't, then dump them. Hey, boys, especially the cat that Hank killed. Yes.

I miss you. Well, that cat can't even say anything, because it's dead. As a ghost cat. My boyfriend never lets me use his phone. Even though I've looked through it while he was sleeping slash showering and haven't found anything suspicious or concerning, why is that?

You never know what's going to pop up. There are things, when you have a phone, there are things that could pop up there that are totally outside your control. It could even just be as simple as a bookie being like, hey, here's how much you lost. There's little things or jokes on your group text chain here's the thing, he could probably

be doing something nefarious, but he also could very much well just be in like, I don't want to explain all the inside jokes all the time. Because that is, when you have to explain an inside joke that you have running with your friends, it immediately becomes not funny. He also probably doesn't want you to know what's on his recommended playlist on Spotify.

Yeah. He probably has just shitty taste in music. Yeah. Hey, boys, especially cat. My fiance and I started talking about having kids and now I'm scared to have good sex. I feel like if really good sex makes my baby, I'm gonna feel weird about it

and think about it every time I see my kid. That's true. Do all parents think about the actual sex that made their kids? Yeah. I don't think so. Well, here's a quick example. If you have sex doggie style,

you're more likely to have twins. That's a fact. If she's on top, you're more likely to have a girl. If a guy's on top, you're more likely to have a dude because you're dominant. If you're 69-ing, you could have anything. And you can't get pregnant in jacuzzi. Yeah.

And if it's pre-com, then it's gonna be a soccer player. Can't get pregnant in jacuzzi. Pre-com is a soccer player. All these are facts. These are just stone cold facts. I think that you should just never have good sex before you get married. That way there's no disappointment whatsoever.

Yeah, I think you should just never have good sex ever because if you do, then the next time you're gonna have to have good sex again and that's a lot. It's a lot of pressure. A lot of pressure. Keep that bar low. Don't ever have good sex. Just be happy with the sex.

Get your nut and count your blessings. Hey, if you come, it's cool. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I did my job. All right, last one, speaking of cum. Subfellas, I've always wondered why semen is chunky. Parentheses, chunky. Sometimes in, okay.

I've always wondered why semen is chunky sometimes in super watery other times. My boyfriend always wants to come in my mouth when I blow him. Sometimes it's like drinking chili through a straw. Is there anything he can do to fix this or do I just need to power through? Drink more water.

That's my answer for everything. Just drink more water. I think it's like poops, you just never know. Yeah. I don't know. Eat less tapioca pudding. If he's eating a ton of tapioca, then it's gonna come out chunky.

That's all I know. I think, yeah, you can also do pineapple, I think, I've heard. Mango. Yep. Hot sauce. Asparagus. Really, guys, if you tell a guy that there's something out there

that will make his cum taste better, that news will travel around the world so fast. Combos. Guys are so easy to share that information. Pepperoni pizza combos. Uh-huh. Heard those make- Buffalo wild wings.

Delicious. Uh-huh. Spicy garlic sauce. You should do a cum tasting. No, thank you. You should. We'll eat different things. Uh-huh.

This is terrible. This is bad. This is terrible. Terrible end of the show. Chili through a straw, huh? I'm sorry, everyone. Yeah, this is terrible end of the show. Hank, end us with something lighthearted.

Those puppies would have been awesome. To do the tennis ball thing? Uh-huh. Yeah. That would have been sick. Yeah. And they would have known if it was yellow or a green. But the problem, like, you'd have to.

The puppy would have to get it back. I swear to God that I saw, like, pictures of it being done in other places. You know what it was? It was a corgi, I think, in the picture. That's how you know it's not true. Corgis don't do anything. No, it's that all breeds are welcome.

Oh. Well, then you definitely know it's not true, yeah. Leroy would suck at chasing tennis balls. Stella doesn't give the tennis ball back. He's blind. Hubs. Oh, hubs did it. There you go.

All right, there we go. So we got the silhouettes in it with that. Do you have another guys on chicks question besides the? No, let's just send with tennis balls and dogs. OK. Awesome. Love it. I picked my entire basket from March Madness

based on school color mascot teams and got three out of four final fours right. Why do guys get so butt hurt about this? Also, why don't guys just start randomly picking teams to win since it obviously works so well? So you picked a cat. You thought that a Cavalier, a Red Raider, a War Eagle, or a Tiger, we learned that it was Tiger,

and a Spartan were the coolest. I call bullshit on that because none of those, objectively speaking, are cool mascots. You would have picked the. Red Raiders. Yeah, Wofford. Yeah, well, you would have picked Wofford if you were picking cool mascots.

The answer to the question, though, is we spend so much fucking time wasting our lives watching sports to then be humbled to the point of not knowing anything. It really hurts every single March because you're like, I watched so much shitty college basketball in January and February, and I have no idea what I'm picking.

But I feel like I do. And then I get humbled by someone who did this. It sucks. Egos are important to men. You've got to stroke them and make them large. Yes. And then after they're soft again, tell them how smooth and not chunky it was.

Yeah, it wasn't that fast. All right, love you guys. I'm talking away. I don't know what I want to say and say that you were. The days and nights and days are fine and shining away. I'll be coming for your love of grief, love of grief. I'll be coming, I'll be coming, coming, coming, coming, coming, coming, coming, coming, coming, coming, coming.

I'll be coming, take me on. I'll be coming, good to you. It's Pardon My Take, presented by Barstool Sports.