Pardon My Take - Christian Yelich, Dallas Braden + The Cubs Are Dead

Episode Date: October 3, 2018

The Cubs are dead and fuck everything. We recap the NL Wild Card Game and Big Cat rambles like a madman trying to cheer himself up including some bonus Booger McFarland vs Jason Witten talk (2:20 - 18:18). Hot Seat/Cool Throne (18:18 - 26:25). Brewers All Star Christian Yelich joins the show to talk about his insane second half, read some of Big Cat's terrible Brewers takes, and talk about being locked in for the playoffs (26:25 - 39:54). Former A's pitcher Dallas Braden joins the show to break down the MLB playoffs and the strengths and weaknesses of each playoff team (39:54 - 62:08). Segments include Bad Visual Kobe Bryant, Just stop talking Jon Gruden, Trouble in Paradise USA Golf, and Guys on ChicksYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have Christian Yellich, the hottest man in baseball. From the Milwaukee Brewers, talk about his second half, his second half bump. We also have Dallas Braden, our colleague, former A's pitcher. He wants a pitcher, no hitter, not to brag. He breaks down the MLB playoffs, hot seat, cool throne, and because it is Wednesday,

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Okay, let's go. Bye! Bye! Now in the street there is violence and then a lot of stuff will be done, no pistol hang or no washing and then I can't live all on the sun, oh no, we're gonna run down to electric car venue and then we're taking higher, oh, we're gonna run down to electric car venue. It's part of my take presented by Bar School Sports. Welcome to part of my take presented by Zinke, today is Wednesday, October 3rd.

Fuck everything. Yeah, so if you're tuning in, it is, fuck everything is all I have to say. It's 1.30 in the morning, we are fresh off watching the Cubs' second sweep of the post season. The first baseball team to ever get swept twice in the same year. Well, the 1.63 is technically not the post season. No, it's a regular sweep by two teams. Those actually count for regular season staff, but yes, the Cubs sucked, they scored two

runs and 22 innings at home, two teams in two days celebrated on their fucking field. I am dead inside, it was torturous to watch, it's torturous to watch an offense not be able to hit. John Lester put his big old balls in the middle of the field and then Joe Madden pulled them in the sixth inning and fuck those balls. Fuck everything. Yeah. So listen, if you're tuning in right now, because you want to hear big cap being upset

and down in the dumps and just miserable at everything, shame on you, shame on you. Shame. And I'll tell you why. You should have rooted for the Cubs to at least make it into a real series to get an extended period of big cap being upset. Yeah. The whole time we were watching the game, PFT was like, no, no, you guys, we got a roof for the Cubs to win so that we can watch big cap be upset for like an extended period

of time. Yeah. What you did, what your Cubs did tonight is they shortchanged our listeners. They ripped the Band-Aid off. They did. So it's good for you as a Caps fan, I can't really relate to what you're going through right now. But, you know, thoughts and prayers, at least it spins on, we don't have to stay up late

watching more Cubs games. Okay. I got a couple, listen, that game sucked. It sucked from like the bottom of your soul. There's nothing like losing playoff baseball. It really just rips, it rips out your heart. It stomps on it. It like, it throws it in a deep ocean, then it pulls it out and tries to put it back in

your body to be like, hey, do you think you can still, nope, just kidding, you're dead and then shoot you five times in the head. That's what happened tonight and it sucks and I'm miserable from it because I was like, there's nothing more fun than a playoff run, especially in October. It's the best month of the year. Playoff baseball is electric. I had already planned my schedule. I was like, all right, here's the games I can go to.

This is going to be great. And it all got ripped away from me, but I'm also going to be the guy who sits here and tries to keep people positive. So I'm going to say a couple of things here. Number one, I'm having a hell of a time with these rumors about a bear attack. The bears are fucking back. Okay. That's number one.

The bears are back. The bears are awesome. The bears are good. The bears are great. The bears are back. Yep. Number two, I don't have a number two. That's as far as I got.

That's as far as I got. That's good. At least you have your health. Shit. Okay. So does that. I don't have my health. That's pretty good.

All right. Number two. Let's talk a little bit about the game. Number two. Number two. Number two. You're going to try to dig deeper. Hold on.

The Cardinals aren't the playoffs. Oh, yes. That's actually a good point. We had a Cardinals fan. YP was sitting here cheering against the Cubs and I said, you know what? I actually love this because the Cardinals as an organization have gotten so low that the best moment of their season is cheering against the Cubs and the playoffs. Uh-huh.

Number three, Hank's team is still in the playoffs, so maybe we'll get a Red Sox World Series. Red Sox. That'll be great. Each game will go 15 hours. Yeah. You deserve this, Hank. You've suffered.

Number four. Thank you. One of my fantasy teams is three and one. That's pretty good. Yeah. The other one's one and three. Okay. But one of them's three and one.

Three and one. That's fine. Yeah. We'll take that. October is awesome. It's a good month. Patrick Mahomes followed me on Twitter. Number six.

And as everyone knows, I've been a Patrick Mahomes believer from day one. Showtime. Can we actually delete those first podcasts now that he follows me? No, we absolutely cannot. Yeah, we have to. We should do that. No. So yeah, he is Showtime Mahomes.

Jason Witton gave him that name and I think it's got to stick. Number seven. It's such a bad nickname. Number seven. His flappy little neck. We're not Jason Witton. Uh-huh. We have actual feelings and we're real human beings.

Oh, my God. Jason Witton. I would kill to have Jason Witton on a live stream watching a game like that. Jason Witton. Jason. I'll tell you what, I don't think this is what ESPN intended, but I'm going to give them credit for one thing that they did right. Jason Witton and Booger McFarland fucking hate each other.

Yeah. And it is so awesome listening to the passive aggressive swipes that they take at each other. And Jason Witton is a robot, so he doesn't fully understand what's going on. And Booger's like, yo, this is now my broadcast. Booger butts in all the time. Yeah. Like right after what Joe says. I like Booger.

I think Booger is very good. Bold prediction. Yeah. Jason Witton is going to be on the Booger Mobile by the end of the season. You know what? They should put them both on the Booger Mobile or no, put like a sidecar in like it's a little motorcycle. King of the raft.

And stay on the longest fight. Have Witton like off to the side. He did talk about his sleet. Wait. His sleen last night. Did you hear Booger was like, oh, if you took a shot like that, you just got to walk it off. And Jason's like, well, sometimes you don't have a spleen anymore.

Right. No way. Wait. They start the broadcast. They're on. It's like a bigger mobile. And if they get one of them pushes the other one off, they lose their job for that broadcast. Yeah.

So they have to fight while they're miked up. Yeah. So what is that? Super Smash Brothers. Yeah. Where they're on that floating platform and you have to push to have a guy. And Joe Tessitore has the tennis ball gun from American Gladiators. Okay.

Just shooting them from that level. Yeah. We're going to actually talk. Let's get back to the cubs. No, no, no. We're still going numbers. We're still going numbers. Number nine.

Number nine. I'm not a Steelers fan. Steelers. That's their, their in trouble. Yeah. They're in a lot of trouble. Yeah. Do you want to make it to the wildcard?

Did you almost say Dunshane? No, I'm not going to put the Dunshane on the Steelers. Did you almost Dunshane them? No, but what I'm saying is we didn't do the Dunshane on Monday's show. So let's do number 10. Number 10. We didn't do the Dunshane PFT in his, in his infinite kindness to me as a co-host was like, I'm going to save the Dunshane as a little Easter egg here so that we can do it

on Wednesday after the Cubs lose to sheer big cat ops. So number 10, who are we doing the Dunshane? I think it's time to hang it on the bills. Oh, okay. Not really going out on a limb there. Yeah. That's probably right. Okay.

So now we got the Seahawks, the Texans, and the bills. Seahawks are not looking great. They're two and two. That's fine. They're done. Yeah. Okay. They're absolutely.

Earl Thomas is out. You can't take back the Dunshane. Earl Thomas is out. I think we have to have four. I think we said that. Yes. Okay. Number 12.

Yeah. Marlins Man was electric. No, he didn't really do anything. He wasn't even really watching the game. Okay. Fine. All right. We'll forget number 12.

Number 13. Marlins Man didn't do anything to make a spectacle of himself. Okay. Let's get to 15. Number 13. Okay. Number 13. Tonight, the Caps raised the banner.

There you go. Okay. That's actually my cool throw. That's huge. It's huge for me personally. It's a playoff ticket. Yeah. Well, no, I actually, no, he did.

You already do. Yeah. You had to buy one beforehand. Oh, yeah. Number 14. Number 14. Oh, here's one for everyone out there for all you masochists that are listening in to listen to a dead body talk to you.

Number 14. I hate to say this. I really do. And it's so fucking stupid. I bought that back into the Wisconsin Badger season. Okay. Well, it's a pass. I think there's a pass.

There's not a pass. That's absolutely not a pass. I think there's a pass. If they beat Michigan and Penn State on the road, there's a path. There's not a path. There's a path. Take care of Ohio State Big 10 championship game. How do you let out a number one, a team with only one loss against a very, very good

BYU team, right? I add. How do you leave them out of the college football plan? Number 15, we got to watch, even though we were cramped in a room, watching it on like a 15 inch monitor. It was still nicer than McGee Monteros TV. Yes. So that's pretty good.

McGee, dude. Come on, man. You got a World Series right. They went to McGee to do that replay of that out at second base and he was like, yeah, it looks out to me. How about the hug? How about Javi's hug? That was quite a hug.

That was a great hug. It made us all feel better. The world came at a rod. It was my boss. So full bias, you know, unbiased opinion here. That's bullshit. Everyone came at him, but he did say the rules are the rules. Follow them on the field.

Everyone went on a roast show. Yeah. Well, when there's a ground ball in play, if there's one person you turn to, to learn the rule book, it's Alex Rudd, I guess. I agree. I agree. We got to talk about before we get to hot sequence. We could talk a little bit about the actual game and what went on there.

Yeah. Our pitch showed up and our batting got outmanaged. Here's the thing. The Cubs, I don't know if he got outmanaged. He actually like the move to, Ian, here's, in the moment, John Lesser being pulled made no sense to me. Yes. But Ian Hap came out and he did what no one else seemed to be able to do and that was

grind out in a bat, take some pitches, get a walk. But wouldn't you want that sub like later on? No, but we didn't lose because John Lesser got taken out. We got, we lost because we couldn't hit. So and knowing that we can't hit, it actually is a smart move by Joe being like, yo, we can't, no one can hit. So let's not hit the pitcher again. I actually think that bud black didn't do that good of a job.

No, I mean, it's, there were some pictures he left in the game where it's like, what is this guy doing? Listen, it's tough to manage these types of games where it's just so long and the margin for error is so thin and it's like, do you pull a guy, do you keep men? I thought, I actually have no complaints against Joe on this one. It's just the Cubs offense. This was, if you watch the Cubs all year, I actually said this, uh, on evening yack before, before the game, I was like, this, the Cubs, this game will be a microcosm of

their season. And by that, I mean they will either win by winning like 10 to two, or they'll get shut out because that's, that's how their season has been. It's been either the bats or they had the fourth most runs in baseball, but they also had the second most run games where they had zero or one run very straight, do the math there. That literally means that they run hot and cold and they've run cold and it sucks because they have all the town in the world.

And maybe if you sign Jake Arietta and don't sign you, Darvish, be nice to you, I'm still being nice to you. Uh, you might win a few more games and you might not have to deal with the one game wild card. Yeah. I like the fact that they weren't, they didn't start Jason Hayward because they don't want them to play too well. And then opt out.

He's opting out for sure. That's an issue there. I don't know. I mean, it's a weird spot because the Cubs, like, let me ask you this PFT in a real, a real question. It's a really weird spot as a Cubs fan because the Cubs were disappointing this year to lose in the wild card game. It's a disappointment.

But with that said, they have now gone to the playoffs for straight years, never done in franchise history. They've won the most games of any MLB team in the last four years. They've won, they've won a world series. They've gone to two NLCS's. I mean, it sucks, but at the same time, this is what playoff baseball is. The goal is to get in every year and they've done that. They've accomplished that goal.

My serious answer is like 10 years ago, if I had told you all those stats right there, you would be over the moon. You would be extremely happy about it. So what I say to you is embrace it because this feels like the closing of a window right now. No, I don't think so. Not at all. I'm fucking around with you.

No, they still have. They have a lot of winning left to you. And they've got a lot of young. They've got a very, very young team. Bryce Harper. You'll be back. Bryce is going to be there next year. You'll lose in the divisional round next year.

Yeah, because that's what the loser, Bryce Harper, he picked that up from the Nationals. So yes, that's that. That was a joke. Okay. You can explain it. Really explain it. No, we can explain it at home. Well, if I, well, let me tell you something.

Um, ever since I said that DC sports would never lose another playoff game this summer, they haven't. Yeah. They haven't lost a playoff game. Are you going to make the Washington joke again? What do you mean? The state of Washington? No, no.

Oh, DC, they lost the WNBA finals. Oh, you're talking about the Mystics. Oh, yeah. Well, they made it. They lost the finals. They made it to the WNBA finals. That's pretty good. Yeah.

I mean, that's pretty good. That's pretty decent enough. But either way, uh, well, okay. So moving on. No, hold on. Let me finish my thoughts real quick. Um, my, my final thoughts on, on the Cubs is like the baseball is so weird and it really is like, if you look at, you know, obviously Billy Bean and Theo, they all have the same

philosophy that it's basically a crapshoot. Once you get into the playoffs, getting into the playoffs is the goal every year, getting into the tournament and anyone can win it. Obviously you want to not be in a one game playoff because it's fucking so like volatile, but the Cubs have gone to the playoffs for four straight years and that is the goal. And they've done that and it sucks. And I still think this team has one world series in them, one more world series in them, but this fucking sucks.

And I don't know what you got to do. Maybe you got to fire chili Davis, even though he's got an awesome name, but find someone who can get these guys to hit. Chili Davis is a sweet name. Find someone else has a good name. Now that I think about it, Bud Black has an awesome name. Yeah. It's like, it's like an arrow.

It's called buddy. Bud Black is like a kind of beer that I'm not cool enough to drink yet. Yeah. That's pretty sweet. So I guess the Rockies have that going for him. Yeah. And you know what? Here's another spin zone.

16 to end it all. Playoff based ball in Colorado is absolutely insane. Yeah. Because it's hilarious to watch like the high altitude games in Colorado, which we'll get to with our Dallas Braden preview, but it is going to be fun to watch games in Colorado. Who did Sports Illustrated predicted when the world series seven years ago? Because they nailed it last year. I don't know.

Maybe the Dodgers. Yeah. Probably the Dodgers. Yeah. All right. So you know what? So let's ask. Yeah.

So let's ask who was our new team in the National League? I say either the Brewers. No, it's not the Brewers. It can't be the Brewers. I mean, Christian Yelich. He's a friend of the Brewers. He cannot be the Brewers. You want to chop on?

No. No. I don't think I'm going to chop on. That's problematic. All right. So we'll root for Tommy. Root for Tommy. Root for the Dodgers.

Root for Tommy, not the Dodgers. Root for Clayton Kershaw to choke in a big situation. So the Rockies. Did you know that? Everyone's just high in number. Fun fact about Clayton Kershaw. He was high school friends with Matt Stafford. Yes, that's true.

Hey, PFT, you know what our team is? I know what our team is. They come from a little place I like to call Rado. You're just adopting the Rockies? No, just so we can say Rado and trigger everyone who lives in Colorado. That's really the end of the bit. Okay. I like it.

That's bit over. No, I'm rooting for Tommy. I'm rooting for Tommy and Puyg. Tommy getting one more World Series would be fucking awesome to watch. It really would. That's champagne shower that you got the other night. It was so, so cool. Let's do it.

Hot seat, cool throne. I'll start because that's my hot seat. Tommy, they have to be more careful with Tommy LaSorta's health because Tommy LaSorta, he loves wine getting champagne is wine doused in champagne in the clubhouse. I'm nervous for him. I feel like that is you got to have a heated blanket. You have, have a doctor. You got to have a hot cup of tea, maybe some ramen noodles on deck for him.

I love some noodles and some sauce. Yeah. He was wearing a, he was wearing a winner jacket in the, in the clubhouse because they're like, Tommy will die if we pour more than, you know, a couple ounces of cold liquid. That's fine. I think, I think with Tommy at his age, like his body's dealt with enough already. If he dies, he dies. I'm just saying everyone, please be careful.

I want to see Tommy enjoy this run. All right. My cool throne is banners, which we said the capitals are, uh, what'd you say they're dropping? They're lowering the banner. They're lowering their banner. They're unfurling. Which makes no sense.

Is it going to be raised or unfurled? That's why you have to tune in. Lowering the banner is what they do in Louisville. You think Pat State, oh, what they should do is have Pat Stajak go out to center ice like he did before the playoffs. Yes. And then have Vanna White up in the rafters and just touch it and the banner turns around. Yes.

Yes. I like that. It's like a tile. Also, my other hot seat. It's a game show wheel of fortune. My hot seat is, uh, Patrick Mahomes nickname. We got to find a better nickname for show time. Showtime Mahomes does not work.

That just doesn't work. Yeah. It just doesn't work. They just said it way too many times. Way too many times. Yeah. They were trying to really make it happen. Was that, was that Jason Witton's creation?

No, I think, I guess it goes back to Texas tech. Oh really? Yeah. It's tough. It's tough that no one stepped up and was like, yo, this doesn't work. That's a classic Kingsbury. Yeah. That's what that is.

Kingsbury. He's, he's all hat, no cattle. He's just a good looking guy. So he never developed a personality. So it gives out shitty nicknames like showtime. Yeah. Dana whooped that ass, Cliff. Yeah.

We saw. We saw. He's got better hair than you do. Dana whooped that ass so hard he didn't even want to score in the second half. That's how good he was. Uh, Dana also put Rutgers on the hot seat. Yeah. He was talking about like an upcoming opponent.

I forget who it was. Uh, and they had like eight interceptions on the year. Kansas. Oh, about Kansas. Yeah. And he was like, yeah, they've got eight interceptions, but you know what? That's the Rutgers effect right there. Oh yeah.

So Dana's not afraid. Talk that shit, King. Talk it. So, Cliff, what do you got? Uh, my hot seat is salmon. Salmon? Salmon. Color?

The fish. Salmon. The fish salmon. Uh, because every year Katmai National Park in Alaska sets up a bear camera so that people can watch gigantic grizzly bears feast on salmon right before they hibernate. And so there's a, there's a live cam and right now they're doing fat bear week. So the bears are back in a big way. Yeah.

Um, this, it's a live, they also put up a bracket so you can vote on which bear got the fattest. Ooh. Because they, they name the bears because they can recognize them. And these are some big boys. These are some absolute units that are, that are in the water catching this fish. Um, I think they're pushing like over a thousand pounds. They're basically fat shaming the bears.

Um, but if you want to, you should check it out. I think it's at the, uh, what website is it? It's like the Katmai National Park website. Nice. And the bear cam is a great way to just kill time. I like how you did that, by the way. You're like, what, what website is it off the top of my head? And you're like, boom.

No, I don't have, I don't have the website. We'll get it. We need it. The National Park. Is that what it is? Yeah. I'm sure if you just Google it, you can figure it out. Katmai.

Yeah. It said Brooks Falls. Okay. Watch them online at Brooks Falls. It's awesome. I'm into that. It's very, very cool. Yes.

Um, my cool throne is Josh Allen from Kentucky. Oh yeah. Big time. So Josh Allen, he's just tearing shit up out there. I think, uh, pro football focus has him rated as the best linebacker in college. And not only that, but he created his own website, his own draft. Josh Allen.com, except the A and the L and Allen is a four and a one because that's his number.

41. So another, our website has a baby. We need to just redo it. Yeah. I mean, we got to, we got to keep, we got to get every Josh Allen from here until the end of time drafted. Yeah. So that's our, so anyone out there who's not thinking of having a baby whose last name

is Allen, who you think might be athletic or Josh, we will, we will vouch for. Or just the first name Josh Allen. We'll work with that too. Yeah, absolutely. Get creative with it. Yep. Hank, what do you got? My hot seat is Kyrie Irving's Wokeness.

So as everyone know, he was confirmed a flat Earth Earth for the last two years, but he came out in an interview recently and said he apologized. He wanted to apologize to science teachers around the world for his 2017 comments in support of the conspiracy conspiracy theory that the world is flat. And he said, I'm actually a smart ass individual. That's what smart people say. Yep. That makes perfect sense.

I'm actually, I'm actually smart as fuck, bitch. I'm so smart. I read books. I'm actually so smart. I watch a lot of YouTube. Yeah. Yeah. I'm so, yeah.

I'm so smart that when I watch YouTube, I only go down like a couple of rabbit holes. I'm convinced that I could convince Kyrie Irving that Australia didn't exist if you gave me five to seven minutes in a room with him. We'll stay woke too. This is, this is probably what the Illuminati people want him to say. True. Was there a little red dot on his head, a little sniper looking at him being like, you better say it.

You better say it. Yeah. I think it probably was. But the universe works in balance. So he renounced his flat earth beliefs, but then Paul Pierce came out and said, he actually believes that the earth is flat in his justification. I don't, I have no idea if he was joking about this or not. I don't think that he was, but he said something like Paul Pierce jokes.

What? If the earth really spun and you said, if the earth really spun at a thousand miles per hour, then it would only take you an hour to fly to Russia. So that's true. Yeah. That I do not understand. I'm with him on that. That's why being on a treadmill.

Yeah. You can jump up into the air from the three point line and then you just land dunking the ball. Right. Yeah. That's how it works. Agreed. Agreed.

Doesn't make sense. My cool throne is candy corn and pumpkins. Mm. Yeah. In October. I personally am a huge candy corn fan. I feel like it's one of those things on the internet where people that like candy corn just get roasted and dragged.

Yeah. Candy corn is absolutely delicious. I think it should be a year round candy and I can't wait to eat it next month. Yeah. You know what? You know what Hank? You're right. That's one of these things at the internet.

Like they all decided that they would hate it altogether. And you know what? I think candy corn is fine. In moderation. I think that peeps are fine. In moderation. At Easter. Yeah.

In moderation. And you know what? Yeah. Telling me that if I eat too much candy corn I won't be able to poop for a week. Listen. I think we just cracked the code though. What it is is people take these takes because they're like candy corn. Trash.

Because they're like oh yeah you can just eat candy corn nonstop. No of course not. You can't eat anything nonstop. Mm-hmm. Candy corn is good. Like a bag of candy corn is good. It's good. Yes.

It's good. Agreed. But obviously if you're going to sit there and eat candy corn nonstop your stomach's going to hurt and your teeth are going to feel like they're going to fall out. There's definitely a sweet spot for candy corn. Yes. And like a handful isn't enough. Same with peeps.

And two bags gives you cavities in every single two. Two rows of peeps. Mm-hmm. Boom. Half dozen peeps. No problem. Mm-hmm. Put it down.

Yep. Anything more you start to feel like your stomach is going to explode. Your psychopathic. Yeah. Right. You get that little gut rot. It just kind of sticks with you for a couple of minutes. Agreed.

Okay. Well I'm glad we could get to the bottom of those. Yeah. You know what? We're independent thinkers. We could definitely convince Kyrie Irving to eat nothing but peeps and candy corn. Peeps. Yeah.

I just think it's good for you. You have like just fuzz all over the back of your shirt from lying on the ground too. Yeah. I'm not good. He's got a bad back. I'm hot. My back hurts. I'm coughing.

I'm not well. Your neck. Your back. My pussy and my crack. I like how you were just about to bleep out crack. Well I couldn't remember if it was crack or not. Is that what it is? Yeah.

My neck. My back. My back. My crack. My original ass eaters. Mm-hmm. That's good. You probably want to eat the ass.

No. No. I was about to say you do it in that order. Yeah. That's probably true. Because you don't want to get a UTI. My neck. My back.

No bacterial infections. Hank's object will tell you that. Yeah. Neck back. Pussy crack. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I guess that actually makes sense.

Good call. All right. Let's go to our interviews. We have speaking ass eating Christian Yellich and then we're going to have Dallas Braden right after him. Before we get to all of that, you've got to try Bud Light Lime and Orange. It's football season. You're going to be sitting on the couch.

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Okay. We're going to start with Christian Yelich and then we're going to do Dallas Braden. All right. We now welcome on recurring guest. He is what Hank? MVP. Hold on. I'm going to get to it.

I'm going to get to it. Listen, he, he's not my MVP. He is probably the NL MVP. He's the people's MVP. He's not my MVP. It is Christian Yelich coming off a scorching hot second half and also they won the NL Central whatever. First of all, I'm a man of honor.

I will say congratulations. And second of all, can you piss in this cup for me? Okay. Come on guys. It was the part of my take, man. You know that. That's right. Yeah.

So how much, what percentage of credit for your performance in the second half of the year would you give to us? Like 99% probably. Yeah. So just to run through it, your second half, your first half, you had 11 home runs. You batted 292. The second half you batted 361. You had 25 home runs.

Were you, is there a thing at like the zone in baseball and have you just been in it? Have you just been living in it for the last three months? Like what the hell's going on? Well, you know, honestly, I've obviously been getting that question a lot lately. And I really, I haven't had a really good answer for other than the fact that it's just been, you're just trying to focus. Just really trying to focus every single day and taking it, taking it one day at a time.

I think the biggest thing, because we were playing so many meaningful, high-pressure and must-win games down the stretch, and it was just like, all right, just focused on today, focused on the moment. And then once that day was over, it was just flushing and do the Statenuweck thing the next day. And they all kind of just started to build on each other and we ended up with what we got. Do you think that being in so many high...

What part of my take? Yeah, plus part of my take especially. Good, good. Thanks for putting that in there. Yeah, do you think that the fact that you've been in so many kind of high-pressure games, high-pressure moments has actually helped you? It's forced you to focus in a little bit more than maybe you would have if you guys weren't in the race?

Yeah, for sure. I think it's helped our team a lot too, especially going into yesterday, because we had to basically win out for almost the last two weeks of the season to even be in that position. And since all the games that we were playing were many playoff games, I guess you could say, and then yesterday it was basically one, and that was really our team's mindset. We were trying to win the division until it wasn't a possibility anymore, and we really broke it down into small pieces, and that's what we talked about was, hey, we're going to take this game by game.

If you look at the big picture and you look at how far we're out or who needs to beat who, it becomes overwhelming and there's a lot of distractions, but when you break it down into, hey, we need to just focus on winning today or tonight, and everything else will take care of itself. It gets simpler, and I think guys did it as a team. They did that individually and ended up paying off really big for us. So when you're in a stretch like that, do you guys scoreboard watch, or does someone just let you know and you just focus on what you're doing?

I think we start scoreboard watching maybe with a few days left. You can't really start doing it until then because you're really too far out. If you don't win your game, it ends up becoming a non-factor anyway. I really think the point when we started paying attention was probably the last two series of the year, the last series at home and then the one on the road, because we were getting pretty close and it was coming down to it. So I mean, that was probably the first time we really were focused on the scoreboard because other than that, we had to make up a lot of ground and if we were focused on the scoreboard,

it was going to be counterproductive. So I have a totally unbiased question here, and please answer it honestly. As a right fielder, how many cool tags slash double plays have you turned this year? Probably none of the above. Oh, interesting. Definitely no tags. So no cool tags. Okay, I'm writing that down right now.

And for all MVP voters, no cool tags. Got it. First of all, it's zero cool tags this year. Zero cool tags. You're saying in that column. You hit for the cycle multiple times. You hit against the Reds. Was it twice?

That doesn't count. Yeah. But that's pretty cool. What about you? What about your guy, Big Cat? That doesn't count. The Reds don't count. When you hit the cycle, are you like, how does that, I don't know how you did it in order,

were you, do you think about it? Yeah. Are you like, hey, I got to get a triple? Or once you hit a triple at the start of a game, are you like the cycles in play now? Right. No, I remember the first time it happened. I actually, I didn't realize like 100% that I did at the time because I think it was like a 10-9 game or something in like the seventh inning.

So it was a crazy game and there was a lot of action going on and it was just, it was a really long game. So that one, I didn't really fully realize it until our third base coach said something. I had a pretty good idea, but I wasn't thinking about it until then, you know, if that makes sense. Yeah. Just because it was so crazy. But it's one of those things that, you know, it takes a lot of luck to do also because

everything has to work out to where all those hits go in certain spots that you can enable you to get a triple or double or a homer, you know. It's hard enough getting one hit in the big league level on four and then having them all be the right kind. So it was, it was definitely pretty cool in one of those moments that, you know, you definitely will look back on and enjoy probably when the season wraps up. I think the worst part about your second half for me personally is the fact that when we had you on at the All-Star game, you told us that you could win a home run derby at

some point and we said that we'd eat each other asses if you did and then you hit 26 home runs. Personally, that's probably the worst. Just like looking forward. Yeah. That's a bad one. That keeps me up. How did you, how are like, are you, you obviously knew it, do you set it at the All-Star game

when you were with us? You're like, I got a home run swing. I just, you know, I just, I have a good groove. If I get in a good groove, I'll just hit a bunch of home runs. Yeah. I just said I could win. And I said, I would like to potentially do one one day if everything happened to work out.

But yeah, I mean, you know yourself, you know, you're swinging BP and that's basically what the home run derby is, is batting practice. You know, obviously, you know, everything has to work out right for you to win. But yeah, you did make that wager or that bet or whatever you want to call it and people don't forget man. So if it ever happens, you know, it's going to be a, it's going to be a tough night for you. Yeah.

Yes. Yes. Yes. I have some tweets I want to read to you if you'd care to comment on them. The first one is July 14th. I said, will the brewers be sellers at the deadline? Yeah. No, we weren't.

We were buyers. Okay. Yeah. I think I said in July. I wasn't looking good for it, but that's when we lost like seven in a, seven in a row or something. Yeah. Seven of eight.

Yeah. I don't know where this was, but in July I said the brewers are dead, capitalized dead. Care to comment? Very much not dead. Okay. Do you remember the day you were traded? What day was that?

Uh, Jan, end of January, something like 25th, 26th, 25th or 26th, because on January 26th I said, am I supposed to be worried about the brewers? I don't feel worried. How about now, maybe a little bit, no, I mean, I listen to yesterday, you said, not worried. Yeah. That's a direct. Yeah.

I'm not worried, but that one was right after you were signed. So listen, I've been getting old takes exposed nonstop. That's fine. I feel fine. I consider you a friend. I'm, I'm rooting for you to someday make a cool tag because you clearly are unable to do so. Man.

Yeah. It's a one hole in your game. Yeah. Long gone buddy. Yeah. Those were, those were the high school days. It was coming gone. Um, so since the all star break, you've been batting 367.

That's pretty high. We talked to Tommy Lasorda not too long ago. He said there's no chance that anybody is ever able to hit 400. No chance ever again. But the way that you've been playing, do you think that it would be possible? No, no, no one will ever, no one will ever hit 400 or even, even come close to hitting 400 over the course of a full season ever again. There's just too many, you know, defensive, you know, shifts and there's so much data

on hitters and pitchers. There's so many good relievers now matchup relievers to where like it just won't happen. You know, those days of coming gone and baseball or anybody had a chance to hit 400 just because of how the games evolved and, and, um, how it plays out these days. All right. So last question for me, I always wonder this, you know, you've been on some bad teams. Obviously the Brewers have been insanely hot and it's, I will say that, you know, I'll congratulate you on a crazy, crazy run because, uh, it is, it's been insane.

It's been insane. The Cubs did not choke. I just want to say that on the record. They did not choke. The Brewers just got really hot. When you're on a team that wins like this, do you guys all get closer? Do you spend your, spend more time with them to go out to dinner more? Can you feel it in the clubhouse where everyone kind of shifts and it becomes more of a family

coming down the stretch? Yeah. But honestly, we had that vibe throughout the whole year and I think that's why we were successful. You know, it was a really good group of guys. Everyone was really close since spring training and there was a lot of team dinners or, um, you know, I remember our whole team went and watched the NBA finals game on, on and off they had some bar restaurant.

Um, so there'd be, there'd be stuff that we did as a team throughout the year and, uh, it creates that bond and creates that togetherness that you need throughout the season. And when you're going into these hostile environments with these, you know, high pressure intense games, uh, or you got to rely on each other to get through them and, and I think we created that bond throughout the course of the year and it definitely, uh, definitely paid off for us. You, uh, well, I, that's not what I heard Lorenzo Cain said, your breath smells. No, I'll, I'll, I'll, you would never, you would never do such a thing.

Um, my last question is, uh, now that there are so many people like newbies paying attention to you that might not know the real stories behind either, they're comparing you to Pete Davidson. Like that's the new thing that people are doing. Do you ever just want to say, Hey man, I don't look like Pete Davidson. I look like the guy that was looking that butthole. I know they've been going, they've been going hard with the Pete Davidson thing for, for three years and we've may have had some, uh, other things come up over the course of those

three years that we've been, uh, been known for allegedly happened, but, uh, yeah, that's all part of being an athlete and raising the internet, I guess you could say. Have you noticed the answer? Yeah. Have you noticed like your Instagram followers and Twitter followers pop in like the national media? Has there been a shift where you go from just a baseball player to like, holy shit, Kristen Yelich is all over everything.

Uh, I don't know. I mean, it's been hard to pay attention to it off the field because of everything that we've had going on, like on the field and around the team, just because of just all that was just distractions. And we had so much at stake at the team that were that, that focus and the last two, three weeks, you know, it was really like, you had to lock it in. It was, it was come down the stretch run and we were playing so many tight games that it was hard to pay attention to, to anything off the field or anything that didn't have

to do with baseball because of the situation we're in. But, um, yeah, you know, I think the fan, the fan response in Milwaukee has been, been awesome. You know, the city's really gotten behind the team and, uh, it's been a, it's been a hell of a year. It's been a lot of fun and hopefully, uh, you know, we can, we can do something here in the playoffs. That's why I came back and had to talk to you guys and now I had to get, get

juice back up for the playoffs. Yeah. This is going to backfire me because you're going to win like, are you're double juicing them? Yeah. Ooh, don't do a couple of cycles. Actually, I do have one last question. Uh, they didn't show Dick is, uh, seventh inning stretch for game 163.

Was it awesome? It was pretty awesome. I mean, it was, it was a great atmosphere yesterday. Okay. Don't, I don't do that. I don't want to hear it. It was, it was, it was really loud after rhythm at that home rate. No, no, no, no.

Okay. All right. Well Christian and then Brewer's fans got, and then Brewer's fans were pretty loud. They were loud there towards the end. It's Chicago. That's forced out. That crowd was like half brewers.

Listen, the one thing I'll say is Cole Hamels, Cole Hamels kind of, uh, it was a Streisand effect. There's absolutely a rivalry now between the brewers and cups. I like, when he said that there was no rivalry, it just kind of kicked it into a different gear and it's been a wild season. So would you like to guarantee a world series? No, absolutely not. Okay.

So you don't have to confidence or so. Okay. All right. Um, all right. Well Christian, thank you for taking a few minutes talking to us. Uh, seriously though, congratulations on a hell of a second half. And, uh, hopefully you can work on that whole not being able to tag people thing. Hey, you got it guys.

We'll see what we can do in the off season. I try and get better. So we'll have to, you know, work on tagging guys from the off field. It's off season. Thanks man. That interview with Christian Yelich was brought to you by Felix Gray. Guess what? It's fancy football season.

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Go to Felix gray glasses.com slash PMT. That's Felix gray gray is spelled G R A Y. So it's Felix gray glasses.com slash PMT. Protect your eyes with a pair of Felix gray glasses. And now for something completely different. OK, we now welcome on one time, no hitter thrower. He'll tell us about it 500 times in this episode. It's Dallas Braden, good friend of ours, good friend of the program.

He works with us. He's a colleague. You should check out starting nine. You should check out his colleagues podcast, section 10. Five, 10, you should check him out pre and post game on the A's broadcast. The crazy guy with the beard. I'll be there. Yeah, I'm there. Never thrown a hitter, but all the rest is true.

And thank you for that introduction. I was throwing a story with a hair in the beard, by the way. We haven't talked to you about your look. You have a very talk to me. You have a very distinctive look. When did when did you decide to start being a weirdo? It's it's it's a it's a Lays, that's all it is.

It's it's just me being lazy. I have less than zero fucks to give about how that goes. Initially, it started and maybe you can appreciate this. People just all over me about it, all over me about it, about the hair. So I was like, all right, fuck it, like I'm losing it. Yeah, I'm not growing anymore. Kind of like God in real estate. He's not making any more of it.

You know, he's making for him. Land, land, location, location, location. Yeah, for him's like, I just didn't get my own code. So I was like, how do I do this? Right. Um, I rolled with it. And then the beard playoff atmosphere, not this thing. I just kind of kept going.

I like I'm a big playoff guy. So I figured out all the time, all the time. It's a lifelong thing. It's also a branding thing. Live like it's game seven. The crazy guy with the beard. It's kind of like I initially you do things to kind of lay off the radar. You know, I need to fly underneath now.

You're on the leap and now it is trying to get on the radar. Well, no, I'm on it now, whether I like it or not. All right. So baseball playoffs, October, always the, you know, best month of the year in terms of sports calendar. The funny thing about baseball playoffs, you know, a lot of other playoffs will do pretenders, contenders. I feel like everyone can win the world series.

There's, would you, okay, let's start there. Can everyone, we're, we're taping this, by the way, before the end of wild card game. Right. So there will clearly be one team after tonight that cannot win the world series. Yes, there will be eliminated. But tell us, are there, is there a team out there right now that's in the playoffs that you could never see in a million years winning the world series? Well, I don't know if it's that no team, that there is a certain team

that just cannot win the world series. There are clearly teams that are geared up and positioned better or more ideally. So let's work backwards. What are the teams that are not geared up correctly for October? Well, I mean, if I'm being honest, the teams that are behind the eight ball are teams that don't have the horsepower in the starting rotation that teams like the Cleveland Indians do, that teams like the Houston Astros do, that teams like even the Boston Red Sox do, because you have to consider at least two of those

guys are pretty damn good in David Price and Chris Sale. If he's not thrown 91 mile an hour changeups up there. I know our boy, I know our boy, Caribus would, would hate to see Chris Sale roll out there lobbing up 91 mile an hour pills. That's no way. No, there's no way. It can't go on the DL in the playoffs. No, it can't do that.

It's a bad time. You hate to see like Alex Cora's genius, get the best of him and plan another off day for Chris Sale at an inopportune time. Right. That's not right. You bring up an interesting point, which is a 91 mile an hour changeup. What is the sweet zone? At what point does a changeup become ineffective?

You need to be, if you're featuring a 91 mile an hour changeup, you're probably featuring a fastball somewhere in the triple digits range, flirting, teasing, if you will. Teasing. So that's when the set, because you're looking for 10 plus miles an hour, unless you have an exceptional combination of velocity and movement. Alla Felix Hernandez in his prime with his changeup. Cause as it sets right now, I believe it's like seven miles an hour difference.

Felix not having a great year. It's not, it's probably not going to get much better either. So you're looking for that separation. So I saw a stat, uh, it's something like 10 years ago, there was maybe a hundred or 200 pitches thrown a hundred miles an hour or more in the major leagues. Now, 2018, there was like 3000. Sure. It's insane.

I also read an article that teams should start going opposite of this trend of the big arms because they're very volatile. Guys get Tommy John all the time and go with more like a Kyle Hendricks where you're getting guys who are control command throw in the eighties and they're not going to get hurt. Well, there's, so to your point, PFT, what we call living under the hitting speed. I was an individual who lived way under that bar. So there's hitting speed.

Like, uh, at this point in age is it's probably like 93, 94, that's hitting speed. They're like, guys are on that starters or feature in that. Everybody in the bullpen's got 95 plus. So this is what you're seeing on the daily. So a guy who's running out there, giving you 90, 91, that's kind of below hitting speed. Right. Now a guy like Hendricks, 87, 88, 89, that's way below hitting speed.

Now you're talking about movement, location, deception, spin rate. And again, there's, there's something to be had there. There's a correlation between deception and spin rate because the ball just looks like something it isn't. And I don't want to take up too much boring time, but you can really dive into shit like that. And it's interesting if you can wrap your brain or this has been the year of spin rate.

Oh, well, it's just, it's, it's, you're a bit of a power going after the Astros, well, he's proven what, what that, what that exhibition did was prove that he understands that they're just, there are physical things that can affect your ability to manipulate the baseball. That's something that a lot of people haven't really given a thought to. Like, Oh, they hear the spitter. They hear, Oh, using pine tar and they just think cheater. It helps.

What, what, what does it help? You don't know what the hell it helps, but a guy like Trevor Bauer, who is definitely behind, he's got the science behind it. And he can convey that thought you learn. What about my theory that teams are just goosing the radar gun a little bit, just to make our guys look and feel a little bit better. Hot guns are happening all the time. My brother, hot guns, I'm a, I'm a hot gun guy.

Absolutely. Pop it up. Is there a difference between like putting spit on a ball and pine tar? Cause those seem like two very different substances. They are. And there is a big difference. So a pine tar would give you think, tack your ability to grip the baseball. Right.

And so however you're looking to manipulate this thing, whatever spin you're looking to create, that can help. If you're going to moisten the ball or wet the baseball, what you are doing is you're reducing revolutions. You're reducing the time the ball spins through the air. So it's actually creating another seam or another anchor. As it floats through the air, there's now something to catch wind and direct the baseball.

Interesting that you know a lot about, you seem to know just an awful lot about using pine tar and spit on a ball. Big manipulator. You know what I'm saying? I school girlfriend. Love me. All right. So let's do, let's get back to use pine tar when you're having sex.

All right, whatever. Let's get back to the playoffs real quick. So let's take out the wild card game, both of them. So the Rockies, the Cubs, the A's and the Yankees. Let's talk about the three teams, the AL three teams, the NL strengths and weaknesses. Like basically tell me the Red Sox, the, the Indians and the Astros, what will meet, what will like bring them to the world? On those three, right?

Yeah. What, what, but what's their downfall? What's the thing that if you are a Astros fan, you're like, I hope this doesn't happen to us because we know this team inside. They're kind of all the same. I hope we don't have to rely on the bullpen. Right. And then I hope we don't have to rely on the bullpen.

And then I hope we don't have to rely on the Indians. Yeah, they have Andrew Miller still. Correct. Yes. Yes. Yes. They've got Andrew Miller. They've got Brad Han.

They've got their, their, their, I, you know what I'm saying? They're, they're in a good position, but that would be really the other two because these teams offensively are, are really like you're pissing into the wind if you're trying to tell me that these teams are not people that you're afraid of offensively. Right. They've got good lineups. Right.

They've got great lineups. So with the rotations that I mentioned and the offensive capability, if you're getting down to brass tacks and it's not cutting time in the bullpen, seven, eight, nine, it's going to be about who shows up and shows out between those three teams. So like we said earlier, we don't know who's going to win these playing games tonight. I don't even count them, but they're not playoff games, right? They're playing.

No, they are playoff. They're not playoff. They're playoff. They're playoff season, air post season. We didn't, we didn't embrace debate a couple of weeks ago, whether or not this can't, I think it does count for the record. It is a playoff game. Yes.

Um, if you are the Boston Red Sox, who would you rather play? The Yankees or the A's? Uh, if you're the Boston Red Sox, you would rather, I think you would rather play the Yankees. Okay. Yeah. I think the A's just represent an air of, uh, the unknown. Billy Bean doing his weird shit.

Has nobody watched their games? Well, like you, you've seen him. You know what to, you kind of know what to expect. You know who the guys are, but you just, you're not really sure. You're like, I might, I could fuck around and throw the wrong pitch to the wrong dude. And this could be over quickly and you just don't have a feel for who that is. And as far as the both, you just haven't seen these guys with the repetition

that you have seen the arms for the New York Yankees. So these are guys that you're probably, I don't want to say comfortable with because you're just not fighting to get to the bat rack to stare down 98. That's not something. I just can't believe the A's are going to, are in the playoffs with Brett Anderson, Trevor Cahill and Edwin Jackson. It's proof that was my fucking mind. Brett Anderson is a friend of the program, but I can say that he's a

friend of mine. I can absolutely be that guy is a nice guy. See, but like Edwin Jackson, everyone, Edwin Jackson showed up late to the Cubs Spring training and said that he got lost. It's, hey, you ever try to get to that park? It happens, man. Yeah. We actually have.

Oh, not easy to find. I got there fine. Not easy to find. Okay. What about the NL? Let's go to the NL. What is the weaknesses of the Dodgers, the Brewers and the Braves? The Braves.

No one's talking about the Braves chop on. Right. We're doing chop on or is that problematic? I think it's like, okay. All right. Well, we, yeah, we'll, okay. Kick the tires off. Maybe a hashtag.

Don't do the actual chop. Yeah. Got it. No. Okay. Stills are good. Yeah. Stills are good.

Yeah. Stills. You don't know what it's crying. Um, for the Atlanta Braves, I think the biggest thing to question with them would be their youth. How is the youth going to respond? Oh, the young rotation as well. Maybe they're so young, they don't know that they should lose.

Yeah. They don't know the moments too big for them. I'm a big fan of that mindset. Yeah. I'm a big fan of that mindset. It's a really dumb mindset. Young, not like that. It's not in full comp.

You get it. You know it. You know it. So there's just, you know what I'm saying? You turn off the pay-per-view in the hotel and you build those satchels and you let them drag them out on the diamond and you get excited about, you get excited about the Y and D in full of C. Okay.

Got it. Going into the playoffs. Wait, what? Did you ever pitch in the playoffs? Uh, why are you bringing up old shit? No, no, no, I didn't even send it. Then I'm going to skip that question. So I'll just stick to the same boring type of question out in the National League

and ask if you're the Brewers who would rather play Cubs or the Rockies? If I'm the Brewers, would I rather play the Cubs or the Rockies? I think, uh, I think I'd rather play the Cubs because going Cubs 111 out of 19. Because about the last couple of games. That's okay. Yeah. One 63. Yeah.

But you know what? That's, that, that's who those teams are right now. That's who they are right now. Like who they were then. That doesn't matter. Yeah. They've evolved. They've changed.

We're playing these games right now. Right. They, they, they have needs for pinkies and pinkie toes. So that the idea that you're going to have to go into Colorado and I love, I mean, I would say don't want to play off baseball in Colorado. Right. Because the idea of playing off baseball in Colorado is so fucking hilarious because it's such an insane variable, but they've got guys that can get it done

on the staff in Colorado, in Colorado. And that's how it's gone. So I, that's why it's not a coin flip. When you go up there because you think thin air, everybody can smash the ball. That's not necessarily the case. I like the Rockies better just because of their pitching staff has been their custom. Yeah. People forget that thin air works both ways.

It works for the pitcher too. If you, if you throw it, throw a little faster. Just, oh, oh, oh, the skins a little bit, it catches it. Uh, what about the Dodgers? We haven't really talked about the Dodgers. I feel like because they've been in the post season so much recently and we've done the whole, this is the Dodgers year. Tommy Lasordas threatened to, to die if they didn't win and then he didn't die.

We don't want them to die, but I'm just stating facts. Tell me, I think it's a great opportunity for Clayton Kershaw to, he needs another one. Once again, right? Fucking snore. I think he's got to do it three times. Yeah. He has to get the monkey off his back three times. No, he's going to do the same thing that he's done.

Like Clayton Kershaw will pitch great in the NLDS and everyone will say, Clayton Kershaw, monkey off your back, he's a post game, post season pitcher and then he'll get the NLCS and he'll throw us. But that's been the complaint. It's been the argument as the goalposts move back on Clayton Kershaw, right? Yeah. You couldn't get done in the post season. And then he gets it done in the DS and you're like, I can't get it done in the big

game. Can't get it done in the short rest. It's like, okay, all right, well, whatever you're going to say. So once again, it provides you the opportunity to, to carry that narrative, whichever direction you want. But Walker Beeler, the kid who just threw the ball last night, if you didn't see him after the game, did you see his interview? You saw his first game interview.

Did not drop in, drop in some serious knowledge for the youngsters in, in house. What did he say? It was, it was great. Uh, I thank you for the support. I'll paraphrase you again. I thank you for the support, this energy. We're going to need it all fucking playoffs. Oh, sorry kids.

And he said that to in front of the 9000 people. 40,000 people. I saw the stands. That was small. Was everybody out there? Everybody left. I like to get on four or five. I'm just staying up to Reno Del Rey.

The game was in the middle of the afternoon on a Monday, but still, you see, you think there's enough people in LA. They got enough FU money to just to make that happen. Yeah, that's true. So, um, I'm not going to let you say the bullpen, but besides that, what are the weaknesses for each of these teams? And now. So starting with the Dodgers.

Yeah. Um, wherever you want, buddy. Oh man. I don't know that. I think the Dodgers, let's see who they got. They got Munchie, they got Bellinger. I'm trying to think, uh, they got Jock Peterson, the lefty power for the Dodgers. That's represented.

Doesn't Jock Peterson suck now? No, Jock Peterson, I just got a confirmation from the smarter version of smarter side of starting 9000 of young Jock. Yeah. No, don't do that. That, that's not the case. Uh, I don't know the starting rotation for the, for the Dodgers is something because Rich Hill, how is he going to perform?

Yep. How is, because kind of my Aida has gone to the bullpen. I know you don't like to hear that. You don't want to hear about the bullpen. That's, that just crushed BFT right there. I would turn it to the bullpen. This is his soul just went down. Well, no, it's just like, you, it's a really easy way to sound like you know

you're talking about and trust me, I know how to fake talk about baseball and just say like the bullpen. The bullpen, the problem is stretch out the bullpen. I need some other, I need some other talking points so I can sound like not a more honest. The Cubs problem actually is the bullpen. Yeah. Well, that's, and that's the issue is in this day and age.

And this is kind of like, if you're, if you're somebody who's consuming it, this is the grindy part about it, but this is the part that kind of gets you excited. If you're diving into it, you know that, Hey, this is really just a big dick measuring contest about who's got the reinforcements, whose dudes are going to show up because I mentioned the starting rotations for a reason. The way baseball is right now, you just, if your lineup shows up and does what everybody's lineup is now geared to do, which is grind the pitcher out and try to hit that three run homer, if your lineup does what it does, it's about who's

going to shut those lineups down. And I think offensively, those teams that we're talking about right now in the national league, they all represent, like I said, the Colorado Rockies. You don't want to face them in Colorado because I feel like that offense just continues to roll there. They're going to bludgeon the baseball there. If you keep up with them outstanding, but then that ugly word comes up, the bullpen, the pitching staff, them performing up there, as opposed to your

staff, not that affects it. Okay. From a managerial standpoint, which one of these guys do you trust the least in the playoffs? Which team do I trust? Oh, from which, which manager? Um, I think, what? What?

Boon. Jared says Aaron fucking Boon. Jared says Aaron Boon because he is biased against the New York Yankees. That's his, but I think that's fair. He's, he's, he's a rookie manager and he's had a little bit of an up and down. So I was going to go with snicker, Brad snicker of the Atlanta Braves. The Atlanta Braves. We were going to say that.

Yeah. You interrupted me. Look, you'd be like, who the heck is that Snickers SNITK ER? I just refused to, uh, yeah. We're, uh, John Porter. It was trying to order burgers from that one time. I thought it was Bobby Cox still. Yeah.

I thought it was Leo Mazzoni coaching the pitching staff, just rocking back and forth all the time. Was that guy an Adderall or what? Bobby Cox could still manage Leo Mazzoni. Yeah. He's just drinking a lot of coffee. Is Bobby Cox still alive? Yeah, he's still alive.

Okay. He's got to be alive. Well, I don't always, but you don't trust it. Snickers. Snickers. Snickers. Snickers. He's got, he's got his work cut out for him.

Yeah. He's dealing with, he's, he's steering a young ship. Like I said, he's got to manage a young pitching staff. He's got to manage these young stars. How are they, Ozzy Albee's, Acunia. Yeah. Um, I mean, he's, he's, he's had guys like Marqueques and NCRK. Those, those are veteran guys.

Keep going. The good news for him though is his name is Snickers. So there's really not a lot of expectation for him. Yeah. Uh, I mean, it's going to be a while. Yeah. Well, also if they ever get hungry, they can just grab a Snickers and he's never going to get fired.

Cause not going anywhere for a while. Yeah. I already said that. Oh, you didn't know. I was talking, making my own jokes. Do you believe in bunting? Do I believe in who? Bunting.

Do I believe in bunting? Do you, are you, if you were a manager, would you bunt? Yes. Giving away outs. Uh, you look at, at it as giving away outs. I look at it through a different lens. I'm applying pressure. Mmm.

Make them make a decision. I'm forcing you to play the game. I like that. I'm forcing you. Cause I could swing the bat, hit the ball up in the air and really just leave it to you to catch the ball. Pitcher's bunting. I'm, or in a crucial situation, I could force you to

field the ball cleanly, execute a clean throw and force the other guy on the other end to catch the ball as well. Pressure. So if you're a numbers guy. Yep. And I know that I know that we are run scoring expectancy table proves that if you are bunting a runner over from first to second base with less than one out.

So with zero outs, your odds of actually scoring a run go down. They are less than if you were to not bun him over, but doesn't that vary from team to team? Well, that's the idea. For me, the outcome varies from team to team because who am I? I think Jared would say, you know, if I've got Pablo sandball over a third base, there might be a shot that I lay down a button, make his fat ass try to field the baseball

and throw that could happen. Uh huh. That could happen. So you, you pick on weaknesses. Yeah. All right. My last question. Seeky question put in promo code take and you can go to an MLB

playoff game, $10 cheaper with promo code take seat geek. They are a presenting sponsor. We love them. Put it in. Give it to us. World series matchup champion. Come on Dallas. No pressure, but Dan Herron, a far more accomplished

pitcher than you, uh, predicted in 2016, the Cubs versus Indians and Cubs to win it all at the all star break. He did. Yep. That's impressive. No big deal. That's good. Far more impressive.

So yeah, he's an employee of the Cubs. No, he's a player of the Cubs. You wouldn't know that because you're not a baseball guy. No, he actually is a player of the Cubs. You didn't even know who Brad Snickers was before. We played, he played for every day. He played for the Cubs. You could have just taken a guess.

He played for the Cubs. Yeah. He was a former. Okay. Um, can I say the A's? You can say whatever the fuck you want, but you better be right. Um, that would be a bold choice because tomorrow. Everyone's going to listen to this.

We're going to come at your ass. It's going to be a very bold choice. You know what? If I'm being honest, I, I don't know that a starter list team has as good of a chance of getting all the way through the postseason as a team with starters. So while I'd like to think, you know, we said Brett Anderson, Trevor Cahill and Edwin Jackson, while, uh, but when you're not running out that starting rotation from the, from the onset, yeah, I think there's from the 2014 Cubs.

Right. So I, I, I think, I don't think they get as far as I'd like them to see this year. Okay. So give us it. Give it to us. So I think it very well could be the Cleveland Indians from the American League. Okay. And I think it could be.

No, this is not could be. This is your prediction. Just fucking could be the Dodgers. Okay. And then the winner, I think it's going to be the Cleveland Indians. Wow. Okay. You're giving so much.

So it was LeBron, a curse to the Cleveland. I think he absolutely was. Yeah. As soon as he leaves, he's going to eat the poop in Cleveland when the Indians, when the world series. All right. There it is. Jared doesn't like to hear that.

Dallas Braden. Thank you so much. Everyone go download starting nine great podcasts with that Dallas and Jared and also download section 10 great podcasts with my friend Jared. Alice Braden was brought to you guys by hymns. Have you ever looked at a photograph of yourself from five years ago and thought, damn, I look young. What happened to that guy?

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Get your first month of anti-aging for $20 off. Go to forehems.com slash PMT skin. That's F-O-R-H-I-M-S dot com slash PMT skin. Okay, let's get to some segments. Thanks to Dallas Braden and Christian Yelich for joining the show. Do you want to address the many people that have undoubtedly tweeted at us already asking how come you didn't do saggy sorrows? Because I got enough shit I'm dealing with right now.

Okay. I guess I can do it another time. I've already done saggy sorrows. You've never done it PFT. Well I ate horse shit. And you only did it. Yeah but you did it voluntarily. You ate horse shit because you had to.

Well I didn't do it because it was going to be Duke's year. I did it because I had a commitment to our listeners. I have to you okay so let me ask you guys. You should have done it after Wisconsin you didn't do it. You should have done it tonight you didn't do it. After what Wisconsin? Wisconsin. BYU.

But they're back Hank. I don't know if you heard Big Cat earlier. No I'll do it if Wisconsin loses a game that ruins their season. I will definitely do it. Okay. They did it. They're not BYU at all. They're not.

That doesn't qualify. So doing a five hour. Losing to a bunch of virgins at live. That people have got to watch my misery. Wasn't enough saggy sorrows for everyone. You need me to fucking be wet too. Come pour water on me. Come pour water on me.

Please pee yourself. Pour water on me. No I mean I don't want to. I don't want to do it to it. It's going to upset you. Oh. So easy to get Big Cat to do that. There you go.

I did shame them. Thank you Big Cat. I actually needed to cool off. Yeah. More than anything. I'm fucking running. I'm running hot. I'm like an engine.

I'm running. Running too hot. You're a bigger man than most. Thank you for doing that. All right. Should we do some segments? Yep. First up we have bad visual.

Kobe Bryant. What? It's Grumpy Cat. That's all. It's kind of endearing. Yeah I know. You loved to pick on me when I'm down. I just said it was endearing.

No you do. You like to pick on me when I'm down. Everyone was going to ask that question. It's good that we addressed it. No. I did you a favor. If he likes to pick on me when I'm down. No I don't.

No I don't. I stand up for you. I sit up for you all night in the live stream. Because you wanted me to have more agony. I said be nice to him. You literally were like I don't want. I want the cubs to win so the big cat can really feel pain. I feel like my parents are going to divorce right now.

I mean this is fucked up. All right. Let's do some segments. First up we have bad visual. Kobe Bryant. The internet was a flame because it looked like Kobe Bryant actually did. He wasn't standing directly in front of Matt Barnes

in the famous flinch video. And everyone was saying Kobe Bryant's a pussy. It's not as bad as we thought it was. Yes. I watched the film. His head goes back into the left. Yeah. Back into the left.

There was significant hysteria at first because everyone was like holy shit everything I thought I knew is a lie. People were saying Kobe Bryant's not as tough as he as we thought he was. People were saying maybe Matt Barnes is tougher than we think he is. A lot of things that we thought we knew for fact were being questioned for like about two hours on the internet.

And then we saw the other images like actually not as bad as we thought. Well I think it's the other way around. I was questioning Matt Barnes toughness because I thought Matt Barnes was cool enough to like put the ball directly in Kobe's face. Yes. It turns out he was he was the one being a pussy.

Why are we shaming Kobe Bryant for not flinching at a ball that was not thrown at his face. Right. So this is actually Matt Barnes problem. Yeah. Matt Barnes died man enough. His image took the worst hit than Kobe Bryant. It also is just such a funny like can I actually you

know what now that I'm thinking about it I got a bone to pick. This is NBA Twitter just trying to steal shine at all times. I'm kind of sick of it. NBA Twitter you guys hog a lot of the light. Okay. Everyone's like NBA Twitter is so great. NBA Twitter is so great.

Everyone just all the players chirp each other. But football is October is football and baseball. Like chill out. NBA Twitter. Let's have a fucking month. Tuesday morning was supposed to be gifts of Pat Mahomes throwing right left handed. And you couldn't deal with that.

You couldn't be like oh we need to get some petty going on. It's crazy. Well I'll tell you what I'm taking it back in solid air. That Pat Mahomes gift should have been the story of the death. I'm going to do the rest of this podcast left handed. I'm sick. I'm sick of it.

I look I love NBA Twitter. It's great. It has a time in place. It just feels like everyone's trying to push it on us nonstop. Okay. Enough NBA Twitter. You get your time. We're going to all pay attention to you.

You little millennial will pat you on the head and say good job. Everyone loves NBA Twitter. You get basically from like February till essentially July because the off season and the free agency shit. So just chill out. Let us have a couple of months where we get to enjoy football baseball.

I agree. I agree. You know what it was. That was the it was like that capitals goal that wasn't the optical illusion. What's that effect that we that we learned about. Shroding it like a hundred times. No.

It wasn't Shrodinger. No. It was the one where the the puck looks like it looked like it was in. I'm looking it up right now. Aurora borealis effect. Yeah. It was the Streisand effect.

Nope. Shrodinger's era. It was Shrodinger's puck. Yeah. It was the parallax effect parallax. That's what it was. It was a parallax effect. How is that a right to this because it was an optical

illusion. So we're still bashing in between with me. No. I'm just saying as as the camera I'm saying that I am bashing in me because it wasn't a real thing. Got it. That ball was definitely thrown directly at Kobe Bryant's face but as a camera pans overhead the angle changes and

therefore the two objects in relation to the camera switch angles. That's just like the puck. That's like it's over the line but guess what it's actually not. It was a parallax effect. Kobe Bryant is still tough. He's still a psychopath.

It really if you thought that Kobe Bryant was no longer a psychopath because of this one video. Correct. That's a you problem. Yes. So. You don't know Kobe Bryant. Instamation.

Where do we land on here. It was a parallax effect. Mat Barnes wrong. Mat Barnes. Kobe okay. Yes. Fuck NBA Twitter. NBA Twitter can suck a chode.

Yeah. Chill out for a minute. Just for a little bit. Yeah just a minute. We're cool with NBA Twitter. Even you know what just like give it until the regular season starts. I think the problem is also NBA Twitter no one likes to

talk about how great NBA Twitter is more than NBA Twitter. You know what I mean. They are like oh my god this is the craziest Twitter. Everyone loves NBA Twitter. It's fucking great. It's so pet. Oh my god NBA petty.

It's fucking great. This guy tweeted emoji. Another guy. Holy shit. This fucking NBA. Oh my god. You see the side eye from CJ McCall. How many times we read a story about Kevin Durant

chirping at someone. Yeah. He does it every day. Kevin Durant. Literally every day. Clap your hands. That's why he's a triple B. At the haters with the shade.

Yeah. He's a triple B for a reason. Thanks. Okay. You'll never come on this podcast. Oh he'll come on. It feels good. He'll come on.

No I'm goading him. No I know. You won't do it. Yeah he'll come on if he doesn't want to keep calling me a triple B. Actually you know what Kevin. This is a super team. Part of my take.

You want to get involved with a super team. Have it. Yeah. I know you like that. I know you like winners. Yeah. But guess what. You're going to have to be.

You're going to have to be second banana to us. We'll actually know you're used to that with stuff. Just stop talking John Gruden. John Gruden. Just stop talking. You got to stop talking. You got to stop doing interviews. You got to just stop.

Well this one wasn't. This one wasn't even an interview. This was somebody that was like overhearing him. No no. Somebody was watching the Bears game next to him. No it was Mike Silver was doing a piece. So I'm pretty sure Mike Silver had access. And I'm pretty sure John Gruden let him like hang out

with him all day. So Mike Silver's piece is how this is the quote. As you read his game face for what he hoped would be his first NFL head coaching victory in exactly nine years and 10 months. John Gruden sat in the coaches area of the home locker room at the Oakland Coliseum on Sunday morning. Scrolled through his cell phone and got some decidedly

disturbing news. Okay first of all this is fake news. I can tell it's fake news from the get go because there's no way that John Gruden owns a cell phone. He does. Damn. Khalil Mack had another strip sack. Gruden asked rhetorically shaking his head at the

Oakland Raiders assistant coaches in his midst. Are you kidding me. John Gruden. Just stop. The idea of you before game when you're supposed to be getting ready for the Cleveland Browns. Scrolling through your cell phone to check up on how much Khalil Mack is dominating the NFL.

That's bad. That's like just stop talking. It's your wedding day and you're looking at your ex's Instagram picture. Damn. Damn. She got. Oh damn.

She got into CrossFit. Yeah. That's crazy. Damn. She's got that diarrhea tee that made her lose 15 pounds in seven days. Oh man. She's on her honeymoon right now and her husband has a

better body than I do. Yeah. Damn. She she said ass eating season in her Instagram comments. Damn. That could be me. That could have been my ass.

Damn. Jackpot. Fuck. Yeah. John Gruden just stopped talking. All right. Last time before we get to guys on chicks. Trouble in paradise.

USA golf. It's a mess. So we had Patrick Reed. So the Ryder Cup we got smoked. Patrick Reed then said afterwards that he and Jordan Spieth would have been a great pairing. They killed it. The last Ryder Cup.

But the reason why they didn't pair together is Jordan Spieth hates Patrick Reed. Everyone hates you Patrick. Get in line. Yeah. Like that's not you should start with how many people don't hate you. You'd be like my wife doesn't hate me.

Well yeah. My agent doesn't hate me. And that's about it. Who shot Mr. Burns. You can't even get to it. You can't even get to his parents. The whole town. You can't even get to his parents to say that his parents

don't hate you. Everybody in town is a suspect when you're the biggest dick on the block. Right. So yeah. He's saying like this guy hates me. Well they couldn't pair you with anybody that like you. Right.

That's the fact. In fact in this thing he was saying like the person who I want to be paired with actively doesn't like. Right. Tiger Woods doesn't like him. Yes. Nobody likes him. Draw out of a hat.

They actually probably drew straws in the locker room when you were like taking a big shit. Yeah. Like who's got to play with Patrick today. Yeah. Jim Furick should have used one of his captain's picks on Patrick Reed's wife. Yes.

There's been like she can just. She's the only person that. It's every other ball. Can stand next to you. Yeah. Just just do your best. Yeah. Uh and listen we're Patrick Reed guys.

I'm a huge Patrick. We're huge Patrick. But we're just giving it to you. Yeah. Straight Patrick. Use all your captain's picks on the members of Imagine Dragons. They were like hey if we're paired with Patrick Reed

he'll probably steal our wallet. Yeah. So we do not want this. Yeah. And then did you see the story about Brooks Kipka. Yes. He put a woman's eye out with his tee shot. Oh.

He hit her in the head. Exploded. Oh. And her eyeball exploded. Okay. Well you're on a golf course. Brooks Kipka. Will happen.

And hit and shot. I thought you were all. I know. Eyeballs could explode. Oh yeah. You ever seen Alan Ray. Anything can explode. That didn't explode.

That just popped out. I mean it popped out. But it's gross. Think of an eyeball exploding. I feel like that's. I feel like when you're at a golf course you gotta just. You gotta know that could happen. Right.

Your eyeball explode. I mean. I don't typically think about that. I don't know. You do have to have your head on a swivel. Like. Wait. Are you.

Are you victim shaming her. I'm not victim shaming. I'm just saying. You're saying she did something to provoke the ball. You're standing down the fairway. You gotta know that's a possibility. I feel like you do. Brooks is very very upset about this.

Okay. So he reached out to her after it happened. I guess he saw her on the golf course. Thought everything was okay. And then he wrote a letter to her and her family. Apologizing again. So like is this going to mess up Brooks's like career. Is he going to be thinking about.

This eyeball that he exploded. Well when you said Brooks Kepka on this. I thought you were going to talk about the alleged fight between Dustin Johnson and Brooks Kepka. Well there's that too. Yeah. Yeah. So we don't know what they were fighting about.

I assume it was probably. Okay. Or Dustin Johnson was just. Fucking someone. Golf died. Allegedly. Allegedly. Golf died.

Just said Paulina Gretzky was right in the middle of it. Oh well. I don't know if that means physically in the middle of the fight. What happened is. Right in the middle. Paulina Gretzky by the way had the funniest like unintentionally funniest Instagram ever. She was in a gold dress outside of her sigh.

And it was an Instagram picture and the caption was let them eat cake. Oh yeah. That's good. Great. Yeah. Way to. Way to rely on there with just like you know. Iron Monarch that starved thousands upon thousands of people.

Irony is dead. It was so fucking good. Yeah. No I don't think that there was a fight. I think all three of them simultaneously slipped at the top of a staircase. And all got injured that way. The socks man. I mean if you look at it in retrospect it seems pretty dumb that we put together this whole team

with with Dustin Johnson, Tiger Woods, Patrick Reed. Well he's not Patrick Reed's wife and Paulina Gretzky all in like the same vicinity. Yeah. And didn't think that it was going to explode like an eyeball. No this is going to be fine. Yeah. And Justin Thomas is a big baby which I learned the other day. He like throws balls and like throws his putter and stuff.

He gets very upset. Well that's okay. Yeah. I like a little fire. Yeah. You got a man at Barstool. I don't. Yeah I don't think you can.

I don't think you can have that. You have to get a bucket over the crowd sharing stuff. Yeah. He was saying European fans are better than American fans. Tell me the last time an American fan had their eyeball exploded on the golf course. We keep our eyes intact. I hope that lady's okay. I do.

I really do. Yes. It actually sounds. That is a disclaimer. Yeah. I hope that lady is okay. And we're not making that. That was a joke in poor taste.

Yes. And I apologize for her. We'll own that joke and say use the laugh you might have gotten from that joke to make a difference in someone's life today. Laugh at somebody who deserves to be laughed at today. Laugh at someone who has two eyeballs. Yeah. Nope.

That's all right. I've reset the clock on the joke. Uh-huh. Okay. Use that laugh to make a good change in the world. Yes. Got it. It's 2 a.m. guys.

We did it. It's 2 a.m. I think we cleared that all up. Stuff boys especially big cat whose back problems are bringing sexy back. Oh I don't know about that. Why are blowjobs called blowjobs when the job is actually lots of sucking? Am I missing something here? Great question.

Love you guys. That's a very good question. Great question that we don't have the answer. Yeah. I don't know because I've never gotten one so. Blowjobs. I'm going to. Can I Google it?

Yeah. Just Google blowjobs. Why are blowjobs called blowjobs. This is going to be interesting. I think is after it's done you're like thank god that's over. Yeah. Well it's more like thank god that's over. Oh god.

There's too many. It's just like a whole paragraph. Buy or beware when you Google blowjobs on your office computer. Yeah. All right. Stuff boys especially Larry. Is that the sound the fish makes? Nice.

Nice Hank. Nice. My husband always says that getting hit in the balls hurts worse than childbirth. True. Is he right? Yes. What does it feel like? Oh.

It feels pretty bad. Okay. You want to share what your mother texted you Hank? Yeah. My mom texted me this morning. She said she's had three children. One of which was you. One of which was me.

Shout out to my brother and sister. And she said her back pain is far far worse than any any experience of labor. So ladies out there who might have a child. I actually know what you've been through but way worse. So stop. And then she said Pilates changed her life with her back pain. Oh 2019 I've already decided it's a year of the core. We're getting fucking awesome cores guys.

What are you going to do for the next oh I guess what. No we have three months. Three months to chill. I've got an awesome core somewhere inside of this. Right. But we're bringing it out. I gotta find it. No your intercourse coming out in 2019.

My intercourse there already. We're doing yoga. We're doing Pilates. We're sitting on fucking medicine balls. We're stretching. Yeah. We're doing all this shit. We're doing everything you can do.

As soon as I get up to 200 pounds then I'm going to lose 30 of it. We're going to jump. We're going to do trampoline exercises. Mm-hmm. You know those little trampolines. They look so stupid. I'm going to go to that boxing class. Yep.

Yeah. That's like half boxing. Half like a. Rumble. Yeah. Yeah. Choreography. Half Brazilian dance.

I still have two classes left. And they just keep emailing me like hey, just a reminder you have two classes left. I fucking know, man. I'm in jazz or science. I'm never going to go back. We're bringing jazz. When I was training for my fight,

I went with Big Cat to the boxing gym to sign up for a month. Yep. Didn't. I signed up. Don't do it. Didn't go. I went once. 200 bucks.

Yeah. Well, I go to a boxing gym when you can get into a bar fight for free. The exact was I. Well, let me just not go. I delivered three babies and back pain was 10 times worse than the labor. Oh, shit. 10 times. I've given birth to 30 babies.

Congrats, Big Cat. Damn. When are we going to do the gender reveal? Some boys, especially back cat. So I listen to PMT regularly and I have for quite some time. But recently on the nights I listen to it, I'll end up dreaming dreams about Big Cat. Sometimes sexual, sometimes not.

Should I do something to try to stop them or just keep them happening? Thanks. Whoa. Yeah. I say you just go with it. Yeah. Just keep listening. Listen.

Keep it, keep it plugged in all night. Yeah. If there's one thing I know is that you take a wet dream when you can get it. Yeah. And you don't ask too many questions. These are God's little gifts to you. Little presents from the universe. So you lean right into it.

Yeah. Absolutely. Was there a reason you changed OV shirts? Yeah, because the other one makes my tits look stupid and makes my belly look big. Aw. I was confused for the listeners. PFT was wearing one OV shirt all night and then before we started recording.

I didn't notice. She didn't do another one. No, you wanted another OV shirt. I sweat through it. Oh, okay. I've been sweating a lot. It was a long game. It was a hot box.

Yeah, I was. My good friend from college is attached at the hip with her boyfriend. She even moved all the way down to South Jersey from North Jersey just for him. Oh, wow. Wow, that's huge. I know I should be in different countries. I know I should be happy because she's happy, but I definitely do not. You tip the gas guy less now?

Yeah. What do I do? She said, I know I should be happy for her, but I'm not. What do I do? So, North Jersey, South Jersey. Yeah, move to Central Jersey. Yeah, I know. Yeah.

So, she went from Hackensack to North Philadelphia. Yep. Great. So, you wait. Now you root for... Do you know what he told? She has to pay for this one? She roots for the Eagles now instead of rooting for the Giants.

Yeah. Be like, hey, listen, we can still be friends, but you got to get me an easy pass. Hey, guys. Well, there's even the question there. Yeah. My friend moves an hour away from me. I know I'm supposed to be happy, but I'm not.

How do I... Wait, wait, wait, hold on. How do you get nice? How do you get happy again? You got to move a little bit further south than her. Okay. Because right now what she did, she alphaed you. So, everybody has these relationships,

whether they're friends or whether they're somebody that you're actually involved with, and they pull the alpha move of moving a little bit away from you. You got to go over the top and move to Delaware. Can I ask a question? So, I'm not familiar with geography of New Jersey and the different towns and everything. It's one road.

Right. But here's my question. She says, I'm supposed to be happy for her. Is moving to Southern Jersey an upgrade in status in life? Did that person just went from lower middle class to middle class? From North Jersey to South Jersey? What is the happy for her part? I got to be honest with you.

Oh, she finally got out of the shithole of North Jersey. She's in South Jersey now. I got to be honest with you. Everything I know about New Jersey either comes from a Peter King tweet about a Bruce Springsteen song or watching the Sopranos. So, I think this means that, oh, she got out of the mob. Got it.

That's what that means. You're no longer made. She went clean. Yeah. All right. Speaking of alpha, I'll end it with this one. Hey guys of PMT and especially my favorite big cat, parentheses, go cubs and parentheses.

Oh, that doesn't work. How often do you think a girl should pay for the guy? I have no problem paying and like to show I can pay for dates and everything but don't want him to feel like he can't pay or that I'm dominating him. That's actually a real question. I would say, I don't know, once every like four. You know what though? I'd say like paying one out of every four times is equivalent

to making a fake attempt to pay every time. No, I think- Because it's a gesture that matters. Right. So, like if you make the gesture and you reach out for the check every single time, then the guy's going to be less likely to think, oh, I pay all the time because she tries. Yeah, here's what you got to do is he pays for all your nights out. Just throw in like a pizza order, seamless order every now and then.

Yeah. You know, just throw in the random like, oh, I just ordered us dinner or I bought us dinner. Yeah. Come over, I bought us dinner. That way it's not a whole thing. Or just like on Friday, just buy him like a 12 pack of beer. That goes a long way.

Here, go get drunk. Run away and get drunk with your friends. It's like buying your dog a bone. Yeah. On Fridays, I'll buy a Stella bone. It's like, I don't want to deal with her on a Friday night. So yeah, yeah, exactly. Go out and get drunk with your friends.

Go to your buddy's apartment. It's on me. Here's a tennis ball for good. I'm going to watch her. I'm going to watch Lifetime figure out a way to play with this. Don't bother me. All right. We'll see you on Friday.

Friday, we have the return of our good friend, Aryan Foster and football guy of the week guy who had his pinky taken off Kevin McDermott from the Minnesota Vikings. Love you guys. Take me down, I'll be gone, you don't want to.