Pardon My Take - Christian Yelich, Kawhi Is A Clipper, + Mt Rushmore Of Thrills

Episode Date: July 8, 2019

Kawhi Leonard is a Clipper and we're back after a week off. All the fall out from the Kawhi News. Lebron doesn't run the league, everyone runs from Russ, Ballmer and Kawhi are a hilarious duo, everyone's sources were wrong and the NBA offseason is the best (2:28 - 25:28). We won another World Cup not to brag (25:28 - 28:55). Who's back of the week including Peter King eating the trash (28:55- 40:56). NL MVP Christian Yelich joins the show to talk about his VERY unfortunate back injury that keeps him out of Monday's Home Run Derby, if he'll play Tuesday night, and a new bet for the All Star Game to make good on missing Monday's derby (40:56 - 55:14). Segments include the Mt Rushmore of easy thrills, connect the dots what the fuck was up with the Bleacher Report picture, way to stay relevant baseball the Reds wore awesome uniforms Sunday. And a special Monday Reading for our friend Jared Lorenzen You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have a lot to catch up to. We were gone for a week, Kawhi is a clipper, we won another World Cup, we finished free NBA free agency, Christian Yelich got hurt and is not in the home run derby. We actually have him- Damn it!

And talk to us about, excuse me, talk to us, I'm so excited, I'm burping. Talk to us about not being in the home run derby and little bonus, he added a bet. So we added a bet, you could still watch the All Star Game and watch Christian Yelich and hopefully do something amazing. We have a pack-pack show and the Mount Rushmore of Thrills. Before we get to all of that, pardon my take is brought to you by the Cash App, the No. 1 Finance App in the App Store. Cash App is the most powerful way to send, spend, and save.

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Do it for the animals, be a lover, download the Cash App today and enter code BARSTULE. Get some money and save some animals. Okay, let's go. Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now, put in code BARSTULE and you get $5 to ASPCA. Today is Monday, July 8th, Kawhi Leonard's a Clipper. We won another World Cup and Christian Yelich hurt his back so he's not in the home run for Derby.

Holy shit, we are back. I'd say three of the best things to ever happen to this show over the course of a weekend. We're back. I missed you guys. I just want to say it first. Same. Well, I wasn't talking, I was talking to the listeners. Oh.

I missed all you guys. I missed you PFT. Thanks. And Hank and Liam and Jake. Thanks Big Cat. So yeah, new year kind of. We're being polite to each other. The Mount Rushmore's aren't contentious.

Huh? This is at the top of your mind, the Mount Rushmore's, because we're not even, we're going to do the Mount Rushmore thrills. I'm just talking about just staying positive and we don't look at the PBOs. Yeah. Yeah. PBOs. All right.

But we got a lot to get to. Let's start with Kawhi Leonard because it is the biggest story in all of sports. It was a woj bomb at two in the morning on the East Coast right after an earthquake on the West Coast, an incredible, weird night of NBA, Twitter, this league, hashtag this league. I want to start with this. I oftentimes mock this league, but the NBA by far and away has the best off season in terms of the free agency period and players moving around and teams completely changing

the course of their like next four to five years in a matter of moments. And it happened at two in the morning and it was this week. Well, it's funny because yeah, they, I guess right now they are changing the course of the teams for the next four years. But then next year, a lot of these players could just be like, I want to trade again. Yes. They have control. They have over their destiny, but you're right.

A lot of control. With Kawhi, it was, it was good because he was really the last superstar doing this. It would have sucked if they had all waited this long. Sam Decker still hasn't signed. Oh, that's a good point. Sam Decker is still out there. So we're on Decker watch. Yes.

We're on Decker watch. Maybe we can scoop woj on that. But it was nice to, to have like the one guy that everyone's waiting for all the other pieces for the most part have fallen into place. And then the after stories that we got after, after the woj bomb dropped at two a.m. were pretty incredible about how like Kawhi had sent the Lakers in a wild goose chase around LA while he was secretly meeting with, with other people in town. The Lakers were talking too much weird, Rob Polinka talking about how Heath Ledger after

he died had a, had a dinner with Kobe Bryant, Magic Johnson, who is the king of tampering, the dysfunction of the Lakers. I, I don't know if, if Kawhi, like there's a couple of different theories out there. One is that if Paul George doesn't come, if he doesn't get that trade done with Oklahoma City, then Kawhi is probably going to be a Laker. I don't know about that because it always felt like he was, he was never fully comfortable with being part of LeBron's little universe. And I know the pitch to Kawhi was always LeBron would take a step back and he would be, it

would be Kawhi's team. Then LeBron showed up to summer league with a hat that literally said LeBron land on the side of it. But let's start there. The immediate reaction that I had was LeBron James does not control this league like he used to. And on top of that, we now have an NBA season next year where there are, you could make the legitimate case and I'm talking like bar argument case.

So of course there's probably only four or five teams, but bar argument case you could make for about eight to 10 teams. What's the difference between the regular argument and the bar argument? Like a drunk, like if I'm drunk, if I'm drunk enough, I know, I can say the Blazers could win it all. If I'm drunk enough in a bar, I can be, I can be talked into the Blazers. Right. Right.

If I'm sober, I'm like, you're out of your fucking mind. It's probably the Clippers, the Bucks, the, in the Lakers. I wanted to make that distinction. So it's like the Roger Goodell. What is a catch rule? Like if a drunk guy in a bar thinks it, then it counts. But you couldn't do that before. You couldn't.

You could not. It would just be Warriors. The league is a lot more exciting. The West Coast kind of envy them. Like it's going to be tough year first next year. I say, let's, let's all start like saving up on Steve. Keep going. Let's all, let's all start storing.

We need to like hibernate before the NBA season starts. You guys should come over and take care of my baby because I was up at two in the morning when the wojbomb came down. I was in Amsterdam kind of the opposite of taking care. I was taking care of myself like I was a baby. I needed a like a babysitter to look after me and it was about nine a.m. and I looked at it and said woj just broke a story like two hours ago. I was like, there's no chance that this is correct.

Yep. Absolutely no chance. But yeah. So the middle of the night it happened. Kawhi was taking his, he did it like it was a gender reveal. Like he was, that would actually be the most boring gender. It would just be him like flipping a coin. Yes.

Like Heads, Lakers, Tails. No, I think he, it was never a coin flip though. I think it was always going to be Clippers as long as he had a guy and if not, it was, I mean, there were stories about the, the story that came out that Kawhi personally called Kevin Durant before free agency and tried to pitch him, which is the, what, the biggest thing when we found out is Kawhi Leonard is both mysterious and also very calculating because the fact that he was openly courting, you know, Kevin Durant right before free agency called him and Kevin Durant even said, we're, we're not friends like that.

He called me personally and said, I want to be your teammate. We'd be perfect together. He was doing with Jimmy Butler. That fell through, you know, there was talk about Russell Westbrook and Paul George being traded to Toronto, like all kinds of crazy things. But at the end of the day, it felt like Kawhi and credit to him was like, I want this exactly and I'm going to go about it my way and not have leaks and not have, it was the one time where you basically, all the experts were guessing and we'll get to some of the experts,

the quote unquote experts that I have a problem with, but all the experts were guessing because Kawhi kept it so close to the vest the entire time. It was pretty clear he was either just going to go to LA or he's going to stay in Toronto. I think he was open-minded enough where he thought to himself that if the Raptors could get something done that he would be open to staying there because like all things being equal for someone like Kawhi, sometimes it's better to just stay in a neighborhood that you've kind of gotten to know, like for the last six months instead of trying to find out and figure out an entirely new city.

Now the stuff about Kevin Durant was especially weird because you're right, Kevin Durant wasn't like, oh yeah, me and Kawhi are boys. I don't think that Kawhi, do you think he's boys with anybody? I think he's just like, he just doesn't have that many guys around that he's friends with. Well, we did the classic, you know, we always make the joke a quarterback and a coach. They'll be like, oh, well, this quarterback was in a passing camp back in 2008 and he ran some drills with this coach so they have a connection. The Paul George Kawhi connection is hilarious because they basically said they were around

the same time, I think they're a year apart. They grew up kind of like in the same area, but it's actually an hour or two away from each other. They both went to small schools, Fresno State and San Diego State, but is this really a friendship? No, that's right. You're just listing things that are kind of similar. If you go to like Fresno State and Rhode Island, you're going to keep close track of each other's

careers. You're going to be very close growing up, coming up together. Yeah, it was weird. And then like you said, Rob Polinka didn't have, I guess Paul Walker couldn't show up for their meeting. Talk too much. So that would have sealed the deal for Kawhi. It's going to be funny though because he's got a new child star.

He's going from Drake to Frankie Munez, the kid from Malcolm in the middle. That's the superstar for the Clippers. Do they have any other like superstar fans? Yeah. What's that woman's name? She's like a huge NBA fan. Oh, they got Clippers guy. No.

The old guy. That's the real guy. Oh, fuck. Search woman Clippers fan Hank. It's definitely, I see it in my head. Fuck. What's her name? Either way.

I got some things I need to do. I wrote down that I want to go through. Clipper Darrell is a super fan. Clipper Darrell, but there is, there is that woman too. She's a huge, I think Billy Crystal is Clippers fan. Good. Good for him. Yeah.

I think he is. Can you find that woman for me? All right. So I have a list of things that you wanted to just throw out there at PFD. Oh, this check. Yeah. Yes. That woman.

Yes. What's her name? I don't know. Penny. Penny. Penny something. Do we have another rundown? Penny something.

James Goldstein. That, he's a fan of the NBA. He's a this league guy. Rebecca Grant. No, that's not, that's not who we're talking about. Oh, Donald Sterling. Oh, oh my God, Hank. I'll do the work for you.

Hey, I did it real quick. People are probably screaming at this podcast right now. Real quick. Can the dots here? This is kind of crazy. Yeah. And Kawhi is going from nurse to doc. True.

Penny Marshall. That's wild. Penny Marshall. Yeah, he is. And there was also, he loves that healthcare. There's a weird rumor that Paul George used to date Doc Rivers' daughter. That's a fact. That is a fact.

Yeah. And maybe she's an honor. So that's, that's a this league. That's another this league. Okay. So here's, here's, here's some things I wanted to throw out there. One, the Rich Paul picture. So Rich Paul, I think found out while sitting courtside with Anthony Davis and LeBron James

during the earthquake game, the Zion earthquake game, which shout out to the NBA for having safety first. I had the next minus four for way too much money because you do weird shit in the summer and you bet NBA summer leagues. Being part of an earthquake canceled game, bucket list for a gambling. Not something that you'd ever expect. Bucket list. I mean, they were down and I was going to lose a lot of money on a game I shouldn't

have bet on. Boom. Earthquakes saved me. It's kind of soft that they don't play through an earthquake though. It was crazy. Like the old NBA would. Yes. Like the NBA had the 90s with the bad boy Pistons.

The Rich Paul picture hilarious. I'm pretty sure he found out while he was sitting there that LeBron does not own this league. Lakers Twitter. Lakers Twitter had the worst showing, the worst two week showing of any fan base basically attacking anyone who would say that Kauai was going anywhere but the Lakers doing the thing where they had the mural up for Kauai. They had Kauai in a Lakers jersey.

It was a full blown. Why wouldn't he go to the Lakers? Because they were the greatest team of all time even though we haven't made the playoffs in forever. And then Laker Twitter meltdown after was awesome because they're all mad because the little brothers are winning now. Clippers get Kauai in Paul George. The Nets get Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving.

The little brothers in the cities are now winning in the NBA. Let me just say the rivalry is back on between the Clippers and the Lakers. And I mean, the Lakers might very well be better than the Clippers next year. It'll be weird to see like is obviously there are pieces that need to fit in. Yes. There are pieces. Rondo is back with the Lakers too. I saw Magic Johnson's tweet just, I mean this is what you wanted when he retired to

be able to tweet freely about people. Oh yeah. He just listed all the players that are going to the Clippers and the Lakers and he threw in Javale in there. And he's about talking about like how the balance is shifting. And he was basically like Kyle Kuzma's defense is the key to the championship. Yeah. He was probably low key like Kuzma's like probably pissing and get Kauai because now

he's like oh fuck like all the pressure's on me. Oh and you know what? And he is like the prime guy LeBron's going to blame me. Right. Now Russell Westbrook wants to be traded too. Oh yeah. He's made it known that he wants to leave and get out of town and so like where the fuck is he going to go?

All right. So I wanted to get that. OKC. From their perspective. I feel like if you're an Oklahoma City Thunder fan first of all you can't really complain that much because you stole the Super Sonics. You stole the Super All Scabs. It does suck though to have Paul George basically signed last year when everyone thought he

was going to the Lakers. And I think maybe there was probably a part where his tampering and Adam Silver was like hey you can't tamper this openly Paul George you have to stay. He was the kid. I likened it to the kid who goes to a weird college and all his friends are like dude I don't know about that. And then transfers after you're like yeah that makes more sense. The open tampering is like your home at your parents place for a short break in college

and you're drinking a beer at the kitchen table and they're like just go downstairs just go into the basement. Right. Just get out of sight. Don't do it in front of me. Right. I think the most first round picks that's ever been traded five three of them from the Clippers two of them from the heat that the Clippers had.

It essentially my favorite part about this trade and it's very different because Paul George is in his prime. He was third in MVP like he's perfect to match with Kawhi. They're going to be a defensive juggernaut but it is perfect that right at the end of the whole net Celtics trade that ruin the nets when they traded like all their picks. The NBA immediately forgets it is like all right let's trade all of our picks. And I'm saying the Clippers had to do this deal because it was five picks for Kawhi and Paul George together.

Right. But it's just funny to watch a team right as like the memory starts to fade from that deal. They're like OK let's trade everything. Yeah. And so they had to do it. The thunder at the time I thought good for them. They kind of had to do it and they got a shitload of assets back.

That's an NBA term. Five five first round. We call them assets and in an hour and then. But then and shake. But then you'll just doing that trade pissed off Westbrook so much that they lost him because Westbrook seriously has like he has no room in his brain to operate to think like oh they had to trade Paul George or else it would have been ruined. He just feels disrespected now.

So now he's going to go nuclear. We already are. Well you unfollowed Paul George on Instagram. That's the first step. Petty Ward. He didn't have to go that far. I don't think it's going to go nuclear because I think Oklahoma City is such a weird small market team where they're like Russ you did you did us right by signing this contract.

We will figure out a way to trade you somewhere you want to go. I just can't believe dudes follow other dudes on Instagram to begin with. Yeah. And then they unfollowed him. But yeah. So Russ Russ. There is a theory. There's a theory out there.

Russ is he basically Westbrook. He starts every super team because he he basically made Kevin Durant leave for the Warriors and now he's done this again for her Paul George to go to the Clippers. If you play with Russell Westbrook at some point you're going to be like I'd rather not play with Russell Westbrook. You're going to get. Yeah. You're going to want to leave town as soon as possible.

So actually as a Wizards fan I hope that they find a way to get Westbrook so everybody else on the team wants to leave right because he's going to go stinks. I bet you he's going to go to I want him to go to Miami because Russell Westbrook and Jay Butt together in Miami the all time forty four win never going to go past the second round team like they would be a dynasty of that. Yes. They would give those like the Crittenden Gilbert Arena Wizards run for their money in terms of dysfunction.

OK. So the Clippers I want to talk about the Clippers real quick. The Jerry West first of all is Hall of Fame getting the big fish. So he got Shaq Kobe in the trade. He basically put together help put together the Warriors. Yeah. And then now he's an executive board member for the Clippers to help land Kauai. What's his official capacity in LA.

I was trying to figure this out just like Jerry West. I don't think he ever has a job title anywhere that he goes. He's just like a guy and if you say that he's got power then he's just the fucking man in whatever room that he's in. I think he just sits in rooms and everyone is the logo is just like Jerry West. Everyone bangs their head against the table and then he's like hey what if we just traded for Paul George and they're like what really. OK.

Let's do that. So Jerry West deserves I don't know how much credit but it's just crazy when you look at his resume. Yeah. The Clippers having Steve Ballmer be front and center for a title like they are the favorites now in Vegas. Kauai Leonard and Steve Ballmer is the greatest mismatch in emotional energy. I'm so excited to watch them interact.

But in terms of products pretty much exactly. So like I cannot imagine a better spokesperson for Bing than Kauai Leonard. Yes. Perfect for that. And for like Excel. Like hi I'm Kauai Leonard. Let me talk to you about your macros. Yes.

Yes. That would be great. Yeah. But you're right. Like having Steve Ballmer get energized in the playoffs on the sidelines probably saying some things about the refs that he shouldn't or is not allowed to be saying about the refs. That's going to be a shitload of fun to watch next year.

And then I had the case can be made. So you you I wouldn't make this case but Kauai because he is so quiet and so robotic like he's now screwed over a bunch of franchises. The spurs he definitely screwed over. Well the heat. What do you mean by beating the fuck out of him. Oh well yeah. The heat beat them.

But yeah yeah. They went one in one. But yeah. But the spurs by leaving them the I don't think you could say he screwed over the Raptors but still leaving no but but I'm just saying leaving. He screwed over the the thunder he's not taking all George. Let's be clear. The fans of the Raptors know they they're they're very happy with the way things turned

out. Right. But they acknowledge that this was like a major rental flags five fly forever. Right. The thunder by stealing Paul George the Lakers by drawing out this process and letting them think that they were going to get Kauai and then them not being able to sign like JJ Redick or any of these guys that would have been great fits. Yeah.

So he basically is destroying he not only destroys super teams but he also destroys the teams that he was on or around his world. It's beautiful. It is. It is. He is he is the terminator. But because he's so quiet people love it. Exactly.

Like if LeBron did this I fully admit that I would roast him forever. But Kauai it's like that was awesome man. I think it's because Kauai doesn't go out there acting like he is the most benevolent person in the world. Yes. Like LeBron James to his to his credit does a lot of good in the communities but he is also like the very first to be out there trying to put his name out as like a philanthropist and like a superstar and all that stuff.

Kauai he just keeps his mouth shut and ends up destroying some of the same teams that he worked. He's like he's kind of like LeBron. Yeah. In a lot of ways. But he's just not as active on Instagram. Now they're now they're sharing the same building and it's going to be awesome to watch and there's going to be big time petty wars because Kauai is the guy if you picked one

guy is like to take down LeBron it's Kauai because he has that like you can't even figure him out. You know what I mean. He's he's that silent assassin that is watching them in the same building. It's going to be a Christmas day. Ready for that. Oh yeah. Big time Christmas day.

That's next. Lakers. Yeah. But yeah. That will be great. And then. All right. So the last thing I want to talk about was sources.

This fucking airy Abraham kid. I don't even know who I didn't know who he was until like after woe's already beat him to the scoop. And then I did the thing where I had to reverse engineer in my brain who he was. And I've never felt dumber after finding out more about a person in my life. I knew this person. He sucks. Like listen to his credit Leroy did not get anything wrong about the Kauai transaction

or an NBA free agency for that matter. Leroy is a better NFL insider or NBA insider than him. And that's not even his first job. But he this kid and also the random Reddit guy who deleted his Twitter account the Clippers guy or the Lakers guy R.D. Lakers or something the the amount of people that believed just these random people who said they had inside sources and he tweet like it was very very clear he said the Clippers are out Clippers are out multiple times and I wouldn't care but he he went on a victory lap against everyone and was saying woe's was stupid and calling

people out and saying you'll see when it happens and then just did a complete I didn't even I wasn't even wrong. It was a material change sources in the jail and rose although jail and rose credit to him. I don't know if you noticed but he said 90 he's 99% what he's hearing is quiet to the Raptors. So he could just say he was hearing wrong. Now that's an old trick saying I'm hearing from various sources and league circles.

Anytime somebody says league circles about the NBA or about the NFL then you know it's bullshit because it's usually it's just like a GM or more typically an assistant GM like trying to blow smoke up your ass. Jalen rose 99% I'm hearing what it would also do is barring a change of heart. Yes is another nice one to tack on at the end material change be barring a material change with this kid is hiding behind either way credit to the people who basically there was a lot of NBA insiders who said I don't fucking know because no one knows yeah cool because because why doesn't know why didn't know till he got Paul George did you know that trade basically

made up his mind to go to the Clippers up until you know on July 4th Kauai probably didn't know he was hoping to go to the Clippers but he didn't know let me just say I reserve all rights to take back all these takes in the event that Leroy gets something wrong which he does I will change well no remember we're on we're both on board for Leroy now because remember he doesn't delete tweets. He doesn't delete tweets anymore anymore anymore. He did that he did it once and he learned he was a very bad very very bad bad dog means in my year.

Leroy year remember yeah that's right new year Leroy might have been taking the scoop game a little too seriously nice thing about Leroy is since he's a dog he gets seven new years every year so he gets a chance to turn over newly true so he's done that yeah and then finally the only other thing I wrote down was Oklahoma City last year when Paul George signed with the Thunder declared July 7th Paul George Day so that's kind of awkward that's today there's also this that Kevin Durant announced that he was going to be number seven yes probably just so that he could do hashtag servant and have the SB7 or stay mellow or stay mellow for himself I guess if he just if he cocked Carmelo Anthony's

hashtag would be all time lucky number seven yeah that would be nice like a good old fashioned hashtag that yes but he announced it at seven o'clock on seven seven that's pretty trippy cool whoa all right so that's all I mean it was crazy this league and we also didn't even we missed because we did Sunday show and we missed the Angelo Russell going to the Warriors and the Warriors Clay that was so long ago I was so long ago but I just want to say Clay Thompson if there's ever a guy who's going to do the Adrian Peterson how the fuck is he back so early from an injury it's Clay Thompson and don't be shocked if next spring all of a sudden it's it's clay Draymond, D'Angelo Russell and Steph and being

like how the fuck are they doing this again yeah that could happen that's a bargain you know what I all yeah it's a bargain if I don't I don't necessarily believe it now but if you got like half a mad dog into me then I'd start to listen his game lends itself to that too right like he's not going to he could survive he won't be the same clay that we've seen the years past but he could survive getting back after like I don't know four months off next year and still be a very very serviceable catch and shoot player it's all it's all this league credit to the NBA they all they do have the best off season yeah that is the truth and now that we're like done with this off season we can just get ready for football because this is kind of the final okay now we're

done let's move on to the real season the football season we'll worry about the NBA when the Clippers and Lakers play on Christmas day that's when you like it snaps back in like oh okay here we go these guys are playing do you have any other last thoughts about that I was just going to say also the this league goes hand in hand with like NBA Twitter is probably the funniest Twitter of any made by far by far by far so it's like the Kauai stuff is 3am and it's just like every single thing was hilarious yeah for the whole the whole next day NFL better not but the thing with NFL I was thinking about it the thing with NFL is that everything happens in such a compact amount of time that there's like so much it's hard to pay attention it's not like the NBA the day after

a bunch of free agency shit happens everything is funny the top NBA twitters are the funniest people the beauty about the NFL Twitter though is that you have so many people that take it so seriously that don't know how ridiculous they're being like when they do that's unintentional yes I know the seven round mock drafts that come out in like like the day after the real NFL draft and they've got trades and shit in there like we always talk about the fantasy the suit the guys that are super into daily fantasy that in their absence different yeah trying to be funny people who are trying to be funny the NBA Twitter they do and this league is annoying because they do it it's annoying when it's in you know the middle of January it's like a buzzer beater or something and someone does a

buzzer beater or someone you know steals a soul it's like get the fuck out of here I don't care about this but this one week where everything is chaos in the NBA it is awesome to watch awesome watch um okay should we do a little soccer because we want another world cup well yeah we should we want another world cup we're fucking world dominant right now go pick the ball up out of the ocean losers and that was talking soccer that was talking soccer shout out rose shout out rose shout out rose was here's my hot take about rose she's going to be the next superstar for the women's national team for the next like eight years so she's in four years and in four years in four years I'm saying like she's the next Alex Morgan Megan Rapinoe she's fucking fast as shit oh yeah

yeah I'm sold on skyline chili being like a performance enhancing drug because holy shit she was good um we just we just dominated it was just simple dominance we never we never trailed no it was easy it was actually very unsporting of the United States to never trail in any of these games do you know before the final before the world cup final against Netherlands the team that held us scoreless for the longest time thailand really yes and that first half yes we we scored with the u.s women's team scored in the first like 12 minutes against everyone except thailand no we did in thailand but i think we scored at minute like number 12 yeah it was yeah it was the latest in the game until the other ones parked the bus and then their goalie was awesome yeah another

one's absolutely parked the bus so yeah that's that's talking soccer I don't know what else we were gonna we're gonna break down the very strange bleacher report collage in segments uh connect some dots yeah what are you gonna say I was just gonna say what do you think Alex Morgan's gonna do now that she won the the MVP she's going to go to get Disney world but she can't because she got kicked out for being super drunk that's why she's was that Alex Morgan or hope solo no that was Alex Morgan this is like this is like one of the funniest stories of all time this is I think like three years ago um she got booted out of Epcot center in Orlando for being like breathtakingly drunk yes and just like cussing and swearing at people and telling the cops that she knew the

swat team she did the beers around the world she did the beers around the world and dominated that just as hard as as she dominated the rest of the world so go to Disneyland go to Disneyland go to California Epcot well no but i'm sure they they're not gonna come on they don't have security to know Disney world Disneyland everyone gets that confused that's true they should just they should you know what they should do a make good be like tell you what we're gonna let you back into Epcot and you can get as drunk as you possibly can yeah like a little competition go to every every country the beers around the world every country that we beat you have to drink as many beers against every country's goals you scored against them how many do you score really i think she scored like

five against thailand there we go so yeah so she she should do that and let's see how let's do a live stream keep the keep the party rolling yeah i like it uh okay we're gonna get to Christian yelich and talk about the fact that he's not doing the home on derby in a minute before we do that let's do some who's back i'm sure we have a lot uh hank why don't you start sure uh i do have a few the first one is in the same vein of women's sports tennis oh yeah cocoa goth this has been another incredible thing to watch like one of those things where the first one she's a 15 year old she won in like the round of 64 and then in her second match to get into the sweet 16 she like came back it looked like it was a go good story next round she gets blown out she like was down

i don't know two sets or whatever she came all the way back at two match points she fought off and then somehow won it's been unbelievable if i guess she was 15 like i guess i guess there have been like a bit of a precedent of like 15 year olds being good at women's tennis yeah but it's absolutely like it it's incredible it's like tennis and gymnastics are two sports that you can dominate at the age of 15 yes the wimbledon also the little league world series if you say that you're 13 and daniel montay wimbledon mount rushmore of sports to take a nap through i've been napping a lot through wimbledon yeah because it's the green it's early to quiet it's just a little bit of grunts uh here and there but other than that it's a nice little

ease into a nap wimbledon i'm out of whose back is billy michael i'm surprised you didn't start the show with this oh from uh king of kong yeah i saw that he 20 year anniversary of him having like the the pac-man record he did it again at the same place he got a kill screen and dad he got a kill screen that's so now it was this taped is it all in video there's a picture i don't know i don't know 20 years i don't trust billy michael if you haven't watched uh king of kong's fistful of quarters go watch it right now it's one of the greatest documentaries of our time yep speaking of which part of that documentary foul ball guy who went oh yeah bro yes 36 years then he got a baseball at every game he attended that's really tough that's that i got a set for

the reset yeah he i would have loved to see i don't think he videotaped this game that he didn't get a ball but the panic in the eighth and ninth inning must have been insane you know what shout out to him though for for admitting that because like that's one of those streaks that he could have gotten away with and the no one in the world would have known are really cared yes except for marlins man if he found out about yeah actually we should tell marlins man so he can gloat yeah uh anything else i think okay that's a good good call on billy michael all-time villain all-time villain hot sauce king um my who's back of the week is bernard pollard so bernard pollard you might recognize him probably the last time you heard from him

was when he was tearing tom brady's acl when he dove into him and they're really here too much else from him uh he's starting to get into the take game he tweeted out that tom brady was a system quarterback uh he tried to get me and big cat to have him on part of my take now this is one of those that was that was this is out of nowhere because like i have not heard from bernard pollard in probably nine years or however long it's been um so he tweets at us and he's like trying to get this discussion going and he won't let the conversation we didn't respond to him dan or lost him i was in i was in amsterdam i was thinking i was hallucinating because like 20 times a day i was getting notifications on my phone that dan orlowski and bernard pollard were arguing

in my mentions and talk about a buzzkill like having to see what they're talking about i muted the conversation everything amsterdam has to offer it was horrendous yeah they just would not stop it but it got me thinking like after seeing those notifications pop up so much it was like maybe tom brady really really is a system quarterback it was uh the case where you like go into a movie and one of your group chats pops off your group text chain pops off and you get out and there's 250 texts and you're like uh oh someone died nope it's just bernard pollard and dan orlowski sitting there debating tom brady as a system quarterback and getting into stats for it was hundreds of tweets and other people hopped in and it i after the third day it was a

tire fire yeah it just wouldn't go out well i thought it went out it didn't go out it kept going i woke up and i was like i need to mute this conversation i can't handle it anymore i was seriously looking down on my phone i was in a coffee shop and i was getting all these buzzes and drug guy no i'm not a drug guy but when in rome i was taking out my phone and like trying to fall along with what they're arguing i could not understand how the fuck in the year of our lord 2019 it's crazy we're arguing about like it's tom brady and johnny moxton two biggest system quarterbacks of all time so everyone knows that crazy um my other who's back of the week is nasa okay nasa's back in a big way and you remember how last year when i came back i don't know if i've

mentioned this on the show already but i was in europe um but when i came back i brought levis to the united states yeah i started that trend of people wearing levis shirts um it's still going strong by the way coast to coast not only here but also overseas um i've spotted the next one the next levis okay nasa shirts nasa shirts are fucking everywhere in europe i don't understand why i don't pretend to know why these things happen but as a fashionista i was cursed with an eye for for noticing these details do you think it was ironic or unironing wearing of nasa ironic would have been if they were wearing space force shirts right but maybe those aren't on the market they're not but these nasa shirts were everywhere i'm talking like in the in some of the fanciest stores they had nasa

t shirts that were being sold for like 99 dollars and you weren't hallucinating i'm not sure okay i can't be too confident but i'm willing to roll the dice on it and start wearing nasa shirts okay so they're wearing nasa shirts in in netherlands yes they absolutely got from that yes what about well no no no and everywhere everywhere that i went in europe which is two places well no because i was come on pig cat i also had a two hour layover in paris okay and in the airport i saw nasa shirts that too all right so nasa is back nasa's back in a big fucking way um all right my who's back is peter king peter king holy shit pft you're in netherlands i don't know if you saw this but peter king with the all-time eat eat the try to eat the trash the 30 for 30 on on joey chestnut and

kobe yashi was awesome and he i actually knew this was coming because peter king has had this take every single year every july 4th he hates oh yeah the nathan's hotdog eating competition but here's what he wrote uspn and 30 for 30 franchise has done some really great docs and journalism a shame that is as at least a fifth of children in america go to bed hungry nightly they're highlighting gluttony treating someone who overeats excessively as a competitive athlete truly disgusting that's a good take really good take good take me no he doesn't so every year he does it but he usually buries it in his mmqb column right that you have to read it's like number uh letter j dot three of his 10 things that he thinks that he thinks which are actually like

40 things yes and it's like i wish that we didn't do the nathan's hotdog eating contest it is unbelievable to watch where peter king draws the line putting a serial rapist into the hall of fame okay daren sharper eating too many hotdogs on 4th july no don't do it covering a sport for 30 40 years whatever he's covered where guys are are dying from brain injuries and everything and basically carrying the nfl's water okay watching joey chestnut eat 71 hotdogs on the july 4th uh uh that's peter king's line nope that and also appearing on part of my take and appearing on part of my take when he decided to just get woke obviously yeah uh so we bought you two fucking two fucking in and out burgers peter and you didn't pay me back i want that money back we bought him two in

and out burgers at the 49ers uh camp and we watched tiger almost win the pga championship all-time moment we shared a moment and then you went and decided to do that that also peter i've purchased you a mad dog before so that's another 249 that we're going to be back isn't he not supposed to take gifts as a journalist as a journalist he's not supposed to but sometimes you know there's a shake involved sometimes the belly gets a rumbling yes i bought you a starbucks one time peter when you came to our office and you were me and you were going to do a show together wow wow interesting for shame but no no no hotdogs and then our nemesis whatever on again off again in front of me i don't know what to call him rebel was like actually nathan's donates like a hundred thousand hotdogs

he will actually shoot out of camp yeah it was such a great dunk on him because peter king deciding that hotdog eating competitions are too much peter king you know that you've never eaten past when you were full peter king yeah is that what you're telling me right now also peter do you like ever look at porn and you're like this is disgusting there there are millions of in cells out there they can't have sex and won't have sex god damn it peter king uh all right my other who's back is psycho jake areata so quickly he got into a little uh i don't know what it was beef on the field with todd frazier and afterwards said that if they see each other he'll put a dent in his skull okay so jake areata psycho jake i love no i love psycho he's he's not pitching well so the psychoness

he kind of has to be isn't as cool yeah yeah it hurts but he you know i'm weird jake but you know what trains us out you know one of those guys who when he does something amazing for one of your teams no matter what he does after that point you're just like i love that guy so when he walks around saying he's gonna put a dent in people's skull i'm just like you know what i still love that guy he did a greatness for your city yeah it's like what are you gonna do you're gonna turn a blind eye to it i still love that guy um okay let's get to the man the nl mvp of last year who is not doing the home run derby damn well let's find out why with christian yellich before we get to christian yellich it's summertime it's hot outside and that means it's a bad bad day to be a bud light it's

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shipping and free returns by going to mvmt.com slash pardon see why movement keeps growing check out their expanding collection go to mvmt.com slash pardon mvmt.com slash pardon join the movement today here is christian yellich okay we now welcome on our good friend reigning nl mvp and unfortunately not a competitor in the home run derby tomorrow night it is christian yellich christian let's start with the most important thing uh that's going on your back your health i want to make sure that you're okay how's it feeling talk us through it i'm just praying for you man no i'm all right i'll be fine i just uh i tweaked it a little bit last night in the game and then just woke up this morning and realized i wasn't going to be able to to participate and

i'm super super bummed out about that for a number of reasons but me too i just it wasn't meant to be you know it just wasn't meant to be this year but you just said if you ever you know that could be this year it could be next year it could be 10 years from now it could be ever if forever until i'm done playing baseball it felt like the beauty of the whole thing it felt like it was a this year thing and let me just say like i i'm also i'm very bummed the whole thing is the whole thing's tainted it's gonna get a while to get this bad taste out of my mouth i'm just it's a tough thing for us to get to on the show as well and hank was saying earlier that he didn't think that next year would count and hank's been the one that's been pushing this on us this year but for whatever reason

he doesn't think that it's a lifetime bet and you know what i was i i wanted to agree with you christian but hank made some good values if you if you check the tape that's that's what it's a it's a lifetime they said if you ever so we're good you know it's a little disappointing that's not gonna be in the immediate future it's just it's going to happen though yeah listen future me can deal with that i have no problem i mean this is now we're literally doing the exact same thing we did last year because when i said it last year i was like there's no way a year will come and right now as i'm sitting here july 8th 2019 next year is not going to come either so i'm fine what uh so you know you you're not able to compete do you think that you would have won because it's a stacked field but you you were

confident huh how how unable to compete aren't you is is a better question i mean i don't know like what you like i could like if it was the playoffs if it was the playoffs there's a home run derby playoffs like kirk gibson went out there with one like i'm gonna still try and play in the game but oh thank god thank god i i hope you hit two home runs we all start getting the kids we were hoping that you'd play on tuesday night because it's an honor to be an all-star and a starter at that so we're just happy you're able to get out there on tuesday you guys just you guys are just so kind but i don't know i don't know if i would have won but it would have even if i didn't win just making you guys sweat would have made it worth it and it would have made it worth it to

everybody who's been following along with this thing over the over the past year i think everybody i think it was split 50 50 on people that actually wanted to see it happen and people who just wanted to see you sweat and then get let off the hook at the end yes but good yeah i got a waxing and a bleaching yeah can i send you an invoice for that no because you'll still be good for it in a year you know you're just getting ahead of it and probably the more the more that it happens the better off that you'll be that bleaching is not going to last for a year you're you're right you're right there are a lot of people want to make a sweat there are a weird group of people on twitter that i actually think want to see this happen yeah well hanks one of them

yeah that's it's weird it's very weird um so you're gonna try to play in the all-star no he's gonna play you're gonna play in the all-star first report here he's gonna play on tuesday night you've hit 31 home runs this year i think that you're making a smart call you don't want first of all if you compete in the home run derby there's a chance you could ruin your swing no i know you've said before well there's a chance it could happen so i'm really glad that's not um do you think that you can break the record this year uh the real record the 61 record i don't know i mean that's a lot of that's a lot of homework what are we only like 70 something games left i mean that's like a homer every other day so i i don't know it'll be tough for sure but um you know we'll see you never

know what's gonna happen we don't think we'd be sitting here a year ago today so yeah i'm not gonna i'm not gonna say what will not happen anymore because you never know i think i learned that lesson from you guys actually yeah for 56 home runs since the last time uh when you were on lat you were you've been on in between but you were on last year at the all-star game in washington dc from that point till this point you've hit 56 home runs which is insane out hand up i never thought you had it in you you did tell us you said i have a beautiful home run swing and apparently just stood up in your in your stance maybe that's what's hurting your back maybe you need to start slouching more and go for more contact singles stay in your lane bro oh man i'm so you know i told

i told you this earlier when i was when we were texting those i was i'm just sorry to disappoint people i i really just didn't want to do that i wanted to you know get i was really looking forward to just the night to show everything that comes with it everything that was uh you know i've been leading up to this point so it's just the point and it has to take a back seat for uh a year but you know what we'll have our we'll have our day what if you what if you're not good next year yeah what if you don't get it what if you don't invite it next year the beauty of it is we have i don't have the rest of my so this has to be like one more year in my career i have to be good you know have to just figure it out so for one year it doesn't have to be next year we're two years

from now 10 years from now you never know oh oh you're doing that okay so you're gonna make a sweat every single summer okay yeah that's fine no i actually think we should let's let's clarify the bet right here and now you i think it only should count for the one time like you can't do the home run derby every year i think it should be a home run derby the next one you do when you have to enter it and play in it and that will be the bet i don't think that's for us to decide i think that's for the people to decide well christian did you did you listen to the actual words that we said something of that magnitude is not for our three minds to decide that's what goes out to the people and the voice of the people whatever they think is fair is fair well they're obviously

gonna want us to eat each other's assholes you don't know you don't know it's so weird i don't want that it's a i'm i think they are it's so weird all right i have uh so so you're not going to be in the home run derby on money now there's a some people are saying that i did something to you that i hurt you can you do you want to use your time right now to clear the air that i didn't you know jeff glue you and i i wasn't in pittsburgh and i didn't there isn't any funny business i didn't pay you off no you're in the clear nothing nothing fishy happened just you know you're lucky stars align and just wasn't meant to be this year you got you got let off the hook and uh yeah it's this one it's just a something a freak little instant in the game and uh yeah you got lucky

you're in the clear you know what's crazy is i actually the most nerve-wracking time was we were texting on saturday talking about you coming on the show on sunday and that's when you told me that your back was acting up i thought you were fucking with me the whole time i still think there's like a 0.01 percent of me that thinks in the most dramatic fashion ever you're gonna show up on monday night and be like haha got you guys i'm actually doing the home run derby so that'd be awesome i'm still woke on that'd be pretty cool that'd be pretty cool way to go about it i didn't think of that but yeah uh if i did that would have been pretty awesome to have everybody be in on it but uh unfortunately you're gonna be all right and i know you're probably gonna have

that little voice in the back of your head and tell it's official but uh yeah i won't be running out there but that would have been that would have been pretty awesome uh so if this were to happen let's just say that in an alternate universe or maybe you're just playing us you're gonna show up tomorrow and hit 27 home runs and in each round um would you watch i mean big cat fulfill our end of the bet no i wouldn't have to watch it i feel i don't feel bad come on and i just wouldn't i really just wouldn't want to see it but you would have to look the curiosity would get the best of it no see you guys made that you guys made that bed that bed you know that you guys got to do what you gotta do after that i you know i'm doing my end so the rest is uh the balls in your

tour on that one okay so christian you you did mention that you feel bad and you let a lot of people down who wanted to watch this home run derby and um it feels like it feels like the death of something here because this was gonna be a big moment and with every uh you know what is it what's the old saying with every every time god closes a door he opens a window so what would you think about hank maybe getting a cat so we bring another life into this world to make everyone little happiness what if you hit a home run in the all-star game oh and hank has to get a cat yeah you wanted to get a cat why do you need to get a cat is that something that's going on hanks has always wanted a cat we're just doing all one song every bet's the same so if you hit a

home if you hit a home run in the all-star game with your bad back should hank have to get a cat absolutely i mean hank we'll have to put it on the board you're only gonna get one at bat right like that's usually it's one at bat and then you're out uh yeah one or one or two what if you hit two home runs hank if he hits two home runs in the all-star game will you get a cat sure there we go perfect all right christian we got something out of this we're counting on you we got something all right i got one last question for you christian you gotta hit two home runs in this all-star game we really partly this nice for having to lick each other's muscles into the hank having to get a pussy will you will you tell uh dav roberts that you have to get a second at

bat if if you if you hit a home run in the first one that's up today we'll see how we'll see how it goes down but i don't think anybody would mind that damn that would be so good all right i got one last question it's a c key question promo code take put in promo code take go to the home run derby watch all the stars out at the i can't wait to watch it's gonna be so fun pita lanzo vlad junior uh josh bell all these stars these up and coming stars it's gonna be great it's really just a fun night for television yeah put in promo code taking you get uh 10 dollars off your c-keek purchase all right the boat in pittsburgh yeah tell us that story what happened well we're we're practicing we're out there practicing for it um trying to get everything

down they perform in it perform in it format and the breaks and just you know we wanted to go about it and um we're practicing in pittsburgh and they have the uh the shorter right field with the the river in the back with um you know people had their boats out there for fourths of our weekend and all that and uh i guess we uh i guess we broke a window or two out there with someone's boat and they thought people were throwing balls over the fence and throwing them at their boat and so they called the cops and i guess the cops called somebody at the stadium and the head clubhouse guy uh at the stadium so i'm now we're taking taking batting practice for the practice for the home run derby so they cancelled the dispatch for the nine on one and i guess they told the guy tough luck

but yeah they really got we really got the cops called on us practicing and um you know that's what really made but they started me i actually started to get excited for this thing after that over there oh this actually might go well because practice is going awesome we're doing really well we had a good flow and you guys were definitely in trouble how many home runs did you hit in the simulated uh 21 it sounds like a lot i'm not sure what the format is because you always tinker with it but that sounds like a lot that's good to know so we'll see if vlad if vlad jr hits 22 tomorrow night then we would have won it we won't even have to worry about yeah i mean yeah that's what we got in the practice i don't know what would have been the real thing but uh we tried

to simulate it as much as possible it came out with we came out with 21 but uh yeah we'll just have to see how it all plays out you know i guess we'll never know this year but um hopefully at some point in the future we get a we get to find out uh last question for me i noticed that during the playoffs during the nba playoffs you chugged that beer a lot faster than erin rogers do you feel like you're the true alpha in that town uh no he's done a lot more but i was definitely proud that uh i was able to get through that whole thing for all those people you no matter how many beers you've chugged in your life until you've got to do it in front of like a packed stadium where everybody's watching you around a jumbotron like it's a whole another level of of chugging and

you don't really know if you can get through it until you tell you to do it um in those circumstances and uh i think if you watch the video at the end there's like a little part where like i almost don't make it and then i do and that's kind of that's kind of like the spontaneous reaction where my arms go up because i didn't know i kind of started to panic there at the end i didn't know if i was going to get through but uh we did and uh yeah definitely yeah you know definitely got through it all right christian thank you uh hit a home run on tuesday night are you going out are you going out tonight you're in cleveland your is your back good enough to go out see i got friends with family in town so uh we'll see we'll see what we end up doing

yeah you're sorry we'll probably get out and do some stuff yeah you can walk around you're fine you're you you just can't do a home run derby oh one last last question is what's the plan for the nl central this year and we're all just gonna suck our way to someone winning the division we just i guess we just wanted to keep it tight until the till the sprint to the finish like last year but uh yeah i mean it could be any of the five teams that end up winning that thing so we'll see how it plays out all right uh thanks for calling in christian uh best of luck watching the home run derby tomorrow night that's gonna be we're gonna miss we're gonna miss senior let's be honest i was i was looking forward to watching your play because it's a lot of fun to

watch that swing years yeah i just want you to be healthy though yeah i just care about your health i don't care about any of this other stuff this is these bets they're stupid when it comes out health is the most important thing for you right now you're both two noble gentlemen you know what can i say thanks christian uh you know looking forward to it thanks christian stay healthy guys good talking to you all right that interview the christian yellowish was brought to you by bird dogs it says go off script so i'm not going to follow the script at all i don't know about go off script go off king go off pft i've seen a number of advertising tizemans come across my facebook page i like to be on the community a lot and i see my little face and your little face oh yeah advertising

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dogs okay let's get to some segments in the mount rushmore uh hank is so upset i'm not i i'm trying to be the voice of the people here you think that i actually did something you were like the ways that you skirt out of i didn't well you guys you guys mentioned how you were texting like oh you know he said i heard something in the game and you're like you texted me on saturday yeah i did say it almost appears as if you got caught in his own lie i did say there's no lie he heard something on saturday in the game he didn't play on sunday and i told him as a guy who's had back injuries don't fucking risk it man and listen when you look at great players so many of them have have hurt themselves trying to come back from the back injuries too early yes dwight

howard me 2018 cat larry bird he sucks at coaching now oh speaking of dwight howard you see get it got traded again we've got to yeah that's right dwight howard is now in memphis no no he's gonna get caught out yeah he's gonna get caught out and then we're whole famed teammate lakers you know yeah oh he needs to go to he needs to go to miami with jay butt and russ west and suss westbrook yeah uh all right so hank i'm sorry i did nothing to do with this the people i know they're upset but guess what you get a whole other year of sending me in pft ridiculous gifts every time christian yellow chid's home run also hank you would have you would have been the person that would have had to edit the video of me and big cat licking each other's bubbles yeah no one

was happier than me i'm not i'm just voicing the voices no you you see him hank remember the time when a bad when we had it's more i'm not upset i'm just you know i'm curious hank remember the time when george brett we had him in the studio and we did the uh chili down our diapers and i forgot that the gopro was in the bathroom and i got completely naked and wiped my ass on the gopro and you had to watch the footage and delete it think about that times a million yeah or you could pawn it off that actually happened but bubba you remember the time when i filmed a happy birthday video for mike greenberg of me getting into the bathtub naked and i made i made you edit out my balls and it turns out there was more than just my balls on it like nobody nobody wants to be going through

this footage come on and turning it into something into a shareable uh snackable memes for the internet okay there's no market for that that would have been you that would have to do it so you should be more thankful than anybody out there but yeah it's a it's a real shame and it's crazy that it happened let me just say all the guys only one guy gets hurt let me just say as a as a fan of not tasting big cats asshole let me the first person to say that it's just such a weird coincidence shocks that this happens the day before the dirt that he's playing is he's playing and he's gonna hit two home runs and he has two home runs what what will you do i'll get a cat because i'm a man in my word i i wouldn't have screwed it like i know we're boys i just had a kid so like i really

don't oh my god because i said that to him i know i mean you sound suspicious so i want to i want to just say for the record now i was happy to do it because like this is this is kind of the knots that we've got ourselves tied into over the course of the show but if you go back and you listen to the actual conversation you already had planned you guys were gonna kill ourselves yeah no yeah but like when you when you hear the actual words that were said big cat was the one that promised that we'd each other each other's asses i was just gonna lick a crow's butt wait wait we're a team but but i'm saying but i put that aside and said you know what for the sake of the show i'll agree that i was part of this bet i would have had quite a moment of reckoning right there

yeah where i could have tried to pull out loud and i wasn't going to do you know the real conversation we had i'm gonna pee i'm gonna peek behind the curtain the real conversation we had seven i had we had a conversation where we said we will cut a slice of flesh off of each other's asses and put it in a chili and become cannibals yeah we're gonna probably do that we were gonna become cannibals instead of so i wouldn't have to like put my tongue into his fart box now we have a whole year and that's we're fine yeah we're good we don't have to worry about that a year from now you know like the the weird stuff that modern medicine and science will come up with in a year we have a whole football season exactly we'll be fine we'll be fine all right let's get to our mount rushmore

uh today's mount rushmore is brought to you by kingsford charcoals the taste of the game featuring 30 regional dishes inspired by the team cities and flavors of major league baseball it's grilling season go check it out right now kingsford.com slash taste of the game you gotta be grilling with kingsford all summer long if you're not grilling with kingsford i send it back okay mount rushmore of thrills i'm up first yeah i'm up first okay this is a good one this is very open yes this is very open end i'm gonna go with uh it's not my favorite one but i think it's the one that i have to do is the first pick it's the thrill of victory and when your team wins a big game whether you're at the game whether you're watching with your friends there's nothing like

having a championship a big game or you're even playing like intramural sports whatever it may be the thrill of victory is the number one thrill in my mind okay that's good one okay kind of a no but it's good well you gotta go you i'm gonna go you got it with a cop card that's behind you going around you okay and realizing that it's not there for you it's for someone else okay you know maybe hard drops a little you were breaking the law maybe you have something in your car if you're in europe uh it's just such a thrilling experience okay thank you got two oh he's talking about that too yeah um don't say don't say the you say subway no sneaking into a concert or sporting event like a big event butter knife thing whether yeah maybe

you have like a butter knife you got a back door you can sneak do but even if it's like jumping over a fence and like running away from the guards or it's like you're just gonna like badass jump over it's just a it's a thrill you get that you get that the butterflies in your stomach and it's like all right we're going for this that dude on the bachelor was probably psyched to get out of there yep um that's a good one that's a good one sneaking into place is one of my favorite teenage activities yes uh and my second one i will go with betting outside your means oh yes so if you're either you're at vegas or you have like some money or you're down a lot and you're like i'm down like 500 bucks if i lose i'm gonna just bet 500 and go back to even or if i lose this i can't pay it

that is a thrill betting is a thrill but betting outside your means is it even yeah being like way over your skis with a bet that you have to put your tongue inside your friend's butthole like something like that not losing that is quite a thrill i agree okay pft uh buying drugs for the first time oh that's a good girl well no i'm not a drug guy but buying drugs for the first time is absolutely it is a drug in itself yeah like the rush that you get after the transactions over it could be the world's shittiest drugs but you're like super excited you're like oh my god i did this i did okay that's a good one um all right so i got two here i'm gonna go with uh that's something millennials have kind of killed because now there's like absolute and and weed is legal

yeah but you still have your first time yeah i'm sure your first time no matter what app you're using is still very exciting um finding the best parking spot so the first parking spot the best parking spot boom it opens up boom that's like the best thrill when you're just driving around right there right next to the the store the the stadium wherever it may be um we'll see i feel like a big dad move you'll see if this happens to you i feel like a big dad move is just parking as far away as possible be like it's good to walk well the dad move is insisting that you will find a parking spot when you won't like just circling and circling and circling for an hour and being like no one will open up and be like hey we could just pay ten dollars for parking but finding a

parking spot when like there's if you're going to a game and you have to pay everywhere else it's like 60 bucks yeah then you find one right in front oof what a thrill that's a good one um and the like the first cousin to that is coming back to a parking spot that you thought might have been too good and maybe your car got towed turning around that corner and seeing your car yes like oh that's a good one yeah when you park and you read all the signs and you still don't quite know you're like oh this is too good to be true um okay how about my next one i'm gonna go with missing a step in the dark when you miss a step on the staircase in the dark and you're like oh my god i'm gonna fall forever and you land it and you land it and you're like oh shit that was awesome

yeah what about you know what's always awkward is the phantom step after you get to the bottom yeah that's the same one yeah and like you take an extra one and you're like oh okay i'm like skydiving yeah for a brief second you're like whoo yes yeah skydiving for the least athletic person on the but yeah it's it's excellent okay um my next one it's it's the uh the second that the static starts to fade out on the title screen for your favorite HBO show when it's an all new episode the second in between that and when the show starts itself when you hear like that moan of silence before the theme song of your new favorite show did you remember that uh tweet what was the what was what's the song that first comes to mind when you see this one goes like

woke up this morning okay i i want it to be that boom boom but for me it's oh no no mine's that's what mine's like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but yeah wait oh you're the wire my second big little lies yeah soprano you walk through the garden by the way maryl Streep's back and she's a bad bitch and she's fucking shit up don't spoil it bro monoray five or just their head over they have no idea what's going on why wasn't i thought she was always in it no maryl Streep she's in season season two edition she's back she's queen she's a new ad or i thought she was in the cast for season two no she's slaying season two she's like in uh in parks and rec when they

brought in rob low and they just kept them around he was nice yeah uh okay Hank you have two to finish i have two uh wait no i i've only done three yes yeah that's how snake trap works okay two then can i go okay uh all right we fucking up every drug guy not a drug guy uh i will say drinking too much like completely blacking out waking up on like your friend's couch or floor or something yeah and waking up and checking your pants to see if your wallet and phone isn't there yeah like that that wake up of like hey you're you're still drunk probably you wake up you're like holy fuck i don't remember getting home like i don't even know where i am for a second where's my phone and wallet that that is a thrill in itself of like oh my god do i have my shit add on if you extra

thrill if you charge your phone somehow if you've managed to drunk you figured out how to put in your phone into the phone charger it's like the greatest throw and then like walking into the room of your friends being like so what happened and then realizing that you didn't do anything to that's a nice thrill too yes uh and then my last one i will just go jumping head first off a cliff oh very relatable into water very low okay and surviving into into the ocean oh of course thanks was just jumping off the cliff no it's that you forgot to add in the part about the water that three seconds till the end yeah right before you go splat okay um i'm sure that would be a thrill too but yeah jumping off you got the adrenaline rush you know you get you get the butterflies in your

stomach yes yeah okay all right my last one is um when you realize that it's not a handoff but you recognize that it's a flea flicker when they're running back he's going deep yeah when the running back tosses back everybody who's watching the tv stands up to like oh shit yes they're gonna throw the ball yes the going deep thrill yeah all right my last one is going to be uh winning a bet that was a sure sure sure loser like dead in the water you have an over and it comes back out of nowhere where you just rode it off yeah that is an all-time thrill yeah my last one that my extra honorable mention was uh pick six backdoor cover yeah pick six is a great thrill uh i threw in for honorable mentions first kiss that's a thrill that's a little like teenage thrill the perfect beer the

Shawshank beer when you have uh like that perfect moment and delicious maybe after a round of golf yeah moan the lawn moan the lawn uh finding the onion ring in your french fries that one onion ring that's pretty good that's pretty sometimes you get disappointed though because they're some places have subpar onion rings yeah very very good fries um trying to try to sneak into work late yeah not make an excuse but just like i'm just gonna go for it that's a good one uh getting into any kind of verbal argument that gets your you know blood going you know whether it be for a parking spot or at tsa uh just barely getting your flight just barely getting your flights to barely make my flight i've done that a number of times recently uh winning a big horse bet

there's nothing like winning a horse bet because it's just it's always so fast and you never win and so when you do it's incredible really it's like such a party atmosphere the the only big horse bet that i've ever won in my life was the very first one that i made when me and you were at the joes on weed in chicago yeah we hit the first one and that was very thrilling but i didn't realize i would it kind of did me a disservice yes because i didn't know what a thrill it should be you're betting like west virginia tracks shooting uh the actually hitting one of those clay frisbees with a gun yeah yeah the first first time i ever did a hit on the first shot i was like i'm the greatest shooter wise i feel like mark walbert crushing a crushing a golf shot

yep when you like when you just that one shot you hit perfectly finding a lost dog if you ever lost a dog the second you see that that pup that woofer okay yep no how about this for a little little real real cheap very uh easy thrill when you have that rock that you perfectly kick down the road down the sidewalk and you're like it's going with you the whole time uh and just stays straight on so you don't have to deviate just a nice little cheap that's pretty um running out of gas run is a thrill not running out of gas yeah teetering that edge yes between the the eighth of a tank and you can make right there if you can make it if you pull into wherever your next home base is and you're like oh shit yeah now i have to make it do that yes that one's a good

thrill um yeah i wrote down the having having uh a bet where you have to eat someone's ass and then the hormone derby guy pulls out right before yeah 24 hours that's quite a thrill great personal experience great um the last nacho you know the nacho that you've been saving the entire time you've been eating it because it's got a little bit of cheese a little bit of sour cream you guys are just eating a lot of like things things that are awesome Hank trust me the last nacho getting to it is a thrill yeah these are thrills Hank thrill well you said you should have said satisfaction when you get when you when you just barely make the train that's a big time walking no that's a it's a thrill because it's like when you're walking down the train and the

train is pulling up you know that if like because it's and the swipes don't always hit like you gotta swipe a few times yep and you know that you gotta swipe at first time and fucking get on that train that's a that's a thrill that is a thrill the last nacho is more of like a satisfaction no it's a thrill listen hey that's a thrill all of us can't leave extreme triple x surge jumping off like you you're basically living in a mountain dew commercial over there do the do we have to embrace what we can yeah uh nailing an ollie the nailing always the last one the last one I had the dunking is a pretty big thrill for sure sending sending a late night text and seeing the dots pop up oh oh what you you did that no I mean it's a thrill wow check put that on my rushboard so we

can tweet that out oh Hank told us before he's like this is obviously not me but this is a thrill that would be relatable I mean just because I have a girlfriend now it doesn't mean that I didn't know that girlfriend that when you don't have a girlfriend there is a thrilling a thrilling moment yeah the catchers are catching the eyes of the bar that's a thrill when you win that girl boom the eye contact can't can't relate to that okay eyes at a bar nope not for you that's a thrill that is a thrill um all right any tweet us we probably missed a bunch of them so no I think that's about it uh yeah that's probably about it maybe sitting down on your couch sitting down on your couch pretty dude I mean it is it is if listen if there's about to be a

game that you've been looking forward to watching like an entire week and you see that ass groove on your couch and you park yourself yeah that's great here's one how about going into the tweeting sending a tweet going into the bathroom at an airport right after it was cleaned that's a thrill I'm gonna take a shit and you get that chlorine smell and you're like this place is awesome that is like a nice nice surprise um it's a thrill weird thing about Europe they have female like uh custodians and janitors that work and clean up the men's bathrooms as guys are in it and men that clean up the women's bathrooms too it's all just like one song for them um so I was in there I finished my business because you actually a thrill is you get off a long flight that first fart is a thrill

that's the thrill so I get out of the bathroom stall and uh there was no more toilet paper after I was done with it and I step out just as a guy steps in and he doesn't speak English and I tried to tell him that there was no toilet paper but he didn't listen to me because he didn't speak English and they just went in and closed the door and I wondered like how that's a thrill how far do I need to do I need to take do I need to kick his door in like I'm Chuck Norris yeah with in Walter Walker Texas Ranger Liam had one more that's passing a class you don't think you're going to yeah yeah or dropping out of school right before right and then getting a job on the number one sports podcast that's a thrill Liam yeah watching a Steven Segal movie thrill that's a thrill getting

hit by a car thrill Liam that is a thrill yeah did you that was not thrilling I mean surviving surviving the car crash survivor big time yeah big time hitting that uh bump well let's just say when you're driving surviving a foot injury is a big time the speed missing the speed bump not slowing down missing a speed bump and not ruining your car that's a thrill yeah that is a thrill right Hank yeah that's a big time thrill um any other nerf words thrill any other thrills you got thrill ride uh cooking the perfect burger thrill going up to get a snack at work like I'm gonna go and get a snack that's a thrill yeah yeah that is well yeah Hank if you're longboarding up to it it probably is yeah you not dying on your longboard

every single day that actually and I'm rooting for it that's a thrill yeah you guys are fucked up okay let's do some segments real quick to finish off the show it's always like it's not like a it's like whenever I like in longboarding and I like stumble it's never like a oh like watch out it's like oh like excited like oh yeah yeah no I cheer yeah yeah I'm like oh yeah here we go this is the time it's finally happening I whip out my phone um okay uh let's go with what do we have connect the dots connect the dots bleacher report all right so is Jake did Jake have a mic uh he can can you you can go over there Jake so we need to connect the dots bleacher report grab grab that one tweeted a picture right after the us women's team won the world cup

and it was I don't I still don't really know what's going on they tweeted one team and it was like a Banksy painted a wears Waldo book it's it's one team it's all of the US women's team not even all of them just the starters well I think there were 15 one two three four bad radio micro francesa one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen is there 15 on the roster no they're much 20 yeah uh and then just a swath of celebrities various levels of celebrity will ferrell oprah iron man tom cruise the cast of friends the kid from stranger things cast of modern family cosmic kim kardashian miley sirens sack ephron our good friend jz uh kobe I don't even kobe when I when I think Baker mayfield I think

women's empowerment I think kobe brian kobe brian and uh yeah so it all makes no sense whatsoever I still I would love to talk to the person who created this and at what point were they like wait what am I doing well so they were walking a very fine line between irony and being serious to the point where you couldn't tell if they were being ironic with some of these choices because they're all just we were talking earlier like who was left off this list who would be funny to see on this list and I think hanker bubba said uh said dwayne dwayne Chapman uh yeah right wait you talking about dog yeah dog dog the bounty hunter beth all right and I think at that point tom brady did get snubbed before being I think honest I think if if we see dog the bounty hunter on there we know that they're

being ironic right right but the fact that it just it walked this very narrow line so I have no idea what they were thinking I don't think they were being ironic no I think everything on here who's the guy next to in between Oprah and the friends cast who is that oh that's that's pool sitch yeah yeah that's okay this is just like a where's Waldo what the fuck is going is john ham in there john ham I don't have a modern family every single picture yeah um okay so so jake did you find any connections between these people at all so I asked the awls and basically no we couldn't find anything okay so you outsource this so we had some working theories I thought it was initially every single celebrity that has tweeted the hashtag us women's yeah the man is on there

yeah well he's on there and you guys got it does not have twitter okay who's the who's the pink glasses I don't know that one Graham Elliot chef Graham Elliot sorry um of course what okay so what did you find out anything nothing worth reporting um one thing I'm noticing here uh there are no Asians hmm police reporters I guess anti anti-asian american okay uh what else is common amongst them none of them no cartoons from like 2012 there are no cartoons no cartoon that kind of means something um Zach Hertz's hat is really stupid yeah Michael scott's in there um weird that Michael Scott and Travis Scott the whole office cast didn't make it but the whole friends casted that seems a little bizarre I also thought maybe they polled each player and was like name your top four celebrities

so the other idea that pft had was a great idea we're going to do Joel and already first in for first or last out uh for the bracketology so who were the first four that you think like were the centerpiece of this collage oh I was I was going to say the first last in last yeah the last four in last four out yeah yeah so the last four in that I had I had actually had Jay-Z in my last four in because I think they put Beyonce in there and then at the end they're like oh we need to add Jay-Z next to Beyonce okay I don't think that there were package deal to begin with okay um Kobe I think Kobe was probably one of the last four in I think uh let's see is that Angelina Angelina Jolie in the top right but it's like she was the last she was the last four I had her too yeah she had Brad Pitt

they didn't want to be like oh shit yeah I think they did some of these couples mix and match last four in all right so so anyone else for last four in I think that's kind of who's the guy in between Jay-Z and the other guy yeah okay last all right so the four that we think should have made the cut that didn't make the cut Brady Brady probably yeah Brady is probably there Hulk Hogan Hulk Hogan death uh or the rock the rock absolutely was on mine the rock absolutely Kevin Hart Leo everything else Leo Guy Fieri Guy Fieri should have been on there massive massive oversight absolutely should have been on there um this is the dumbest thing I've ever looked at there are no rock stars on here yeah kid rock should have been on kid rock absolutely 100% should have been on there

this is really the dumbest thing I've ever seen I bleacher report dragon from imagine dragons or the dragon from he's actually on there if you imagine him yeah that's true there you go um all right so yeah good job bleacher report you got us to talk about you this is all time weirdest tweet there's a reason that they're back-to-back takey award winners for uh who did this fam cryface cryface social media account I love it I love it this is America it's just a bunch of celebrities that have no connection someone's going to crack the case here and be like they all have this in common and then we'll be like oh okay well that makes sense but they deleted it so they don't even want to stand wait captain captain marvel's on here too they I think she was probably one of the

last four in yeah probably yeah but she's in the center Jennifer Aniston from a long time it goes in there yeah also the Brad Pitt thing though yeah that's true and the friends castor she's a double yeah she's double who is between Jennifer Lawrence and Michael Scott this is the worst radio ever that's uh I don't recognize stranger things kid AOC yeah that's not AOC that's Alex O'Connell has much shorter hair that's Ruth Bader Ginsburg she probably should have been in there notorious RBG she should have been in there yeah absolutely Nancy Pelosi doing the little clap thing that solved all the world's problems yeah all right let's move on this is it I don't know what to make of this well if you haven't seen it everyone's seen it it's ridiculous uh all right last two segments

way to stay relevant baseball the Reds wore jerseys without sleeves on them yeah there you go good job baseball it was pretty sick talk about you actually it was one of those things that were I'm pretty confident that Yaseel Puig just suggested it because he looked by far the best out of everybody with those sleeves yes and then everyone was like yeah yeah sure I guess we'll do that for you Yaseel it looked like a professional softball team I love it yeah they should have gone shorts the old white socks uniform there was there's one dude that had tattoos which kind of looked cool going sleeveless but Yaseel was like your friend with a Jeep who's like hey let's go off-roading all of us with all our cars he looked like hey man I drive a Corolla yeah he looked awesome he

looked like a softball team I wish they had gone all the way and done the shorts like the white socks old uniforms I mean it's the remember oh remember the um when the Mariners did this too they did the sleeveless future uniforms in like the 90s they did what uniforms are gonna look like in like 2019 like 20 years ahead and it's like they're not going to change at all but they're like all silver with that triangle in the middle yeah and like aliens yes yeah they're like man the future is going to be crazy well actually no we just we're we just have a stranger problem yes we discuss um all right last up we have Monday reading a little different Monday reading this week that'd be wild like you're talking to somebody 10 years ago and you're like what's the future

going to be like they're talking about like having conversations with the aliens building all the scientifically crazy rocket ships and you're like well we have measles again yeah and everyone's got a podcast yeah that's really all the change back in time and now you have more opinions yeah yeah oh and also STDs are resistant to all the forms of penicillin that we have okay so Monday reading we're doing something a little different uh Jared Lorenzen passed away last week and he was a friend of the show friend of uh personal friend of mine Hank as well uh we spent a lot of time with him in Indianapolis for the 2015 final four also other times in Kentucky so I want to do a quick Monday reading of some Jared Lorenzen stuff because he was an exceptional guy and I think he touched

a lot of people so I'm gonna throw a couple stats out there for you ready for this Jared who was he for people I didn't know like they didn't know who he was beforehand legend he was a legend the hefty lefty yeah the hefty lefty so he was a Kentucky he I think he still holds a bunch of records for a Kentucky quarterback um Kentucky quarterback if you watch them play you will forever remember him because he was 260 pounds plus playing quarterback and trucking guys and throwing lasers everywhere he had a cannon I remember watching him in college and uh I had no idea where this guy was coming from I was just seeing like the stat lines that would do they would go across the bottom crawl on the ESPN ticker thing and I the first time I tuned in to see this guy

was throwing for like 455 yards a game I was like this is fucking incredible insane insane and he won uh he went to the pros played in the pros for a couple years uh won a Super Bowl with the giants actually people credit him for being a big part of the helmet catch because he did a drill in practice with Eli all season long where he basically tried to take the ball from Eli and got him ready for that kind of action um so and then he went on to you know he did radio stuff he had actually a great t-shirt company called throwboy tees where if you buy a t-shirt all of the money still goes to Jared and his family uh so you should you should go buy right now if you want to buy a t-shirt uh from Jared's company throwboy tees but I wanted to do a quick Monday reading yet of a couple uh stats

that Jared has in a story so in his senior year Jared Lorenzen threw 45 touchdowns and ran for 15 more 15 and 0 high school high school won the state title uh for Kentucky and they scored 801 points in 15 games that's insane um he went on to I think he still holds the record for passing yards at Kentucky I think he's like up there all time sec quarterback as well and again this guy Jared was like he did not he looked like an offense line and he was recruited to to play offensive and defensive line at different places he wanted to play quarterback and so there was this other story that uh I was reading when when uh they had this like whole ESPN story a few years back and it said so I'm gonna read from it real quick uh he threw for 10 10,354 yards a Kentucky career record

in seventh on the sec's career list in practice he dropped to one knee at midfield and throw at the goal post until he hit the crossbar. Mummy his coach Hal Mummy his freshman year remembers holding a camp in Lexington for some of the top college quarterbacks in the country he put a radar gun on them and most threw 52 to 54 miles per hour decent NFL speed Lorenzen stopped by between classes in an Oxford button down and penny loafers and he warmed up a little and let one fly it was clocked at 64 miles an hour this guy Jared was like the classic case of he should not have been playing the position he played but he made it so so much fun to watch and so effortless even Hank when we did that video in Indianapolis we did like a throwing a football into a net he just he

just whipped it whipped it out of nowhere and it was just incredible to watch and I think he's like I know it's a cliche to say but he's one of those guys that uh he was a great football player and even better person because everyone you talk to is like Jared Lorenzen one of the nicest guys you've ever met so I don't know I guess we just end there it sucks it sucks sucks sucks but I thought it would be worthwhile to at least mention that because I know a lot of people watched him interact with us and watched him on barstool videos and we're gonna miss him and again go buy a t-shirt throw boy tease and he's got a couple kids so hopefully some of that money can go to their education going forward yeah love you guys

you Oh Oh Oh It's part of my take presented by bar stool sports Hey Oh