Pardon My Take - Coach Buzz Williams + Browns Tight End David Njoku

Episode Date: March 27, 2019

The NFL world is in Arizona and Andy Reid is a bitmoji guy (2:52 - 8:51). Jon Gruden cried and Antonio Brown definitely doesn't want to be a Raider (8:51 - 16:04) - . On the eve of Opening Day we do our too late baseball predictions because opening day already happened in Japan (16:04 - 23:44). Hot Seat/Cool Throne including Big Cat having a kid in June and PFT getting a Sugar Daddy (23:44 - 37:00). Virginia Tech Head Basketball Coach Buzz Williams joins the show to talk about the upcoming Sweet 16 game against Duke and how he controls Hank's cats destiny (37:00 - 51:03). Cleveland Browns TE David Njoku joins the show to talk about Browns hype, Baker as a leader, taking his shirt off all time, and whether or not he's been hypnotized for the last 15 years of his life (51:03 - 76:10). Segments include uhhh ya think Mike Tomlin is getting replay help Embrace Debate the color of tennis balls, Mike Greenberg's dumb rules Eminem edition, thoughts and prayers to Stephen A Smith surviving a turkey vulture attack, and guys on Chicks. You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, we have a twofer. We have the Duke Slayer, Coach Buzz Williams, head coach of Virginia Tech basketball, and we have tight end David Nijoku from the Cleveland Browns, the hottest team in the NFL. Great interview with him. He was in person.

We, I think we're friends, ish. Yeah. We're friendly. Yeah, we're friendly. We have a ton of NFL coaches, meetings, and GMs all in Arizona getting their drink on. We have our two late MLB predictions because the season actually technically started. And guys on checks, before we get to all of that, it's time to talk about the cash card from the Cash App, the number one finance app in the app store.

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our YouTube channel. Right now, the part of my take YouTube channel today is Wednesday, March 27th, almost tax day. Very, very close. We're going to start getting into it, Hank, where we're very close to tax day every day, so you've got to get nervous. You know what I'm planning on doing this year? Turning over new leaf.

I'm going to do my taxes on time, not file for an extension, and then wait, wait, wait, but then I'm going to realize like at 11.48 on April 15th that I don't have one piece of paperwork and I'm going to do the extension into October. Yes. That's what I'll do. Extension life is where it's at. Just end up being October 15th forever. The government doesn't really care.

They don't. All right. So we have a big show for you. We have David Nijoku from the Browns. We have Coach Buzz Williams from Virginia Tech who is going to beat Duke and get Hank a cat. But before we do all that, we have the NFL having their big pow wow out in Arizona. Is Arizona?

Yep. Arizona. They got together. They got in front of the sun and took that picture where everyone just stares directly at the sun looking like idiots. Why do they always have them face to face? I don't know. It's awesome.

Everyone's awesome. They're all like closing their eyes all the way. They don't know what's going on. Yeah. Jay Gruden looked like he had just gotten done throwing up. Dead. Yeah. Andy Reed had his Hawaiian shirt and the largest ankles I've ever seen.

We actually, if anyone wants to make, well no, we should make this video, just have like Steph Curry and like Kyrie Irving and James Harden and a bunch of guys try to cross up and break Andy Reed's ankles and it's just like over and over and it never happens. Impossible. His Hawaiian shirts are really the highlight of the picture every single year. Yep. He has like an unlimited supply. Freddie Kitchens is wearing a hat to let everyone know that he is in fact part of the Browns

organization. Freddie Kitchens looked great in this picture. He had, it was almost like a smock that he was wearing too. And then I noticed that Shawn McVeigh, Bruce Arians and Shawn Payton were all missing from the photo. Pete Carroll, Mike Tomlin. Yeah. That's right.

Tom Coughlin probably wants to suspend him for a day for missing picture days. Yes. He doesn't like that. A lot of people who didn't show up to the picture day, Matt Patricia was wearing a black undershirt. He, NFL coaches having to dress up like you can see obviously Cliff Kingsbury, that guy's too fucking smooth. Yeah.

Matt Patricia definitely looked like a hot topic manager that was going to a funeral. Yes. Yeah. Exactly. He's like, oh, I got to throw on this shirt. Yeah. And he has misfit shirt underneath the one button up that he owns. The black shirt underneath and then Freddie Kitchens had had like a three XL button down

shirt that he probably bought for like a frat formal 20 years ago. And he's like, that's the only shirt I have. I just wear a sweatpants. So it's funny to watch these guys have to throw on somewhat nice clothes and looked a little bit respectable. And also looking at the new guys who you're like, oh yeah, I forgot Matt LaFleur and you know, Zach Taylor out there, like that's what they look like. Cool.

Yeah. It was a nice little refresher. It's actually good for my brain every year to see how much of the off season moves I've absorbed and retained in my own head when I can like, if I can go through every single coach and say them by name, I feel like I'm an expert about the NFL. You've done your research. And I think I missed out on one. I think you pointed this out in your blog.

It was like Zach Taylor and LaFleur, wasn't sure which one was which one of the two. There are two of them are in those in there. We just don't know which one's which. I think LaFleur is the better looking of the two. LaFleur is like, it depends. I mean, you know, if you type of stuff is subjective, it is, but it's like if you took a, if you took a photocopy of Cliff Kingsbury once, you get Matt LaFleur. If you then copy Matt LaFleur, you end up with Zach Taylor.

Right. Just keep doing it. Yeah. He actually, Matt LaFleur does have a little bit of a, he looks a little bit too pretty. Like Cliff Kingsbury is the perfect case of a guy who, if he doesn't gain 20 pounds in the next few years, he's be out of the league. Like you can't win a Super Bowl looking that pretty. I, well, you know me, I'm on the other side that I don't think that Cliff Kingsbury is

as attractive as he's getting credit for, but he's in good shape and he has like the nice tailored, like having tailored clothes in the NFL head coaches picture already means that you're trying to, you, you already think you're better than everyone. Yeah. So there's two different schools of coaches that show up to this picture not wearing socks. One is Cliff Kingsbury that does it to be stylish. The other is just a guy that forgot his socks and forgot to pack socks on this trip. Right.

Like Andy Reid. Yeah. There were also a bunch of white socks with like dress shoes, which is always a great look. A very underrated part was that the Grudans were dressed identically. Yes. And John Grudan shown those guns. He's right.

And John Grudan and Vic Fangio fighting over leg space. The AFC West rivalry is back on the Broncos and Raiders. And Frank Reich is big. He's a big dude. Big dude. Did not realize that. Yeah. So all the, all the coaches are down there.

We had some, uh, funny, like little snippets from all their meetings. They all have to get in front of the media. So the first one was Andy Reid. This actually came from Matt Nagy. He said that Andy Reid has his own bitmoji of himself wearing a Hawaiian shirt and holding a stack of pancakes. Okay. I'm first of all, I'm shocked.

This is big if true. This is very, this is massive. He showed it to the media. Matt Nagy did. I'm showed the picture. I'm shocked that any of these coaches know what a bitmoji is. I thought that was exclusively Lane Kiffin territory. Oh yeah.

I think Lane Kiffin popularized it because everyone was like, well, we got to get in, get with it. Lane Kiffin is the coolest cucker in the world. It's a copycat league. Yeah. Everything starts in college and makes her way up to the pros. Yeah. Andy Reid, you said he's holding a stack of pancakes in his Hawaiian shirt.

Yeah. That's awesome. So I would get that as a tattoo. Well, yeah. Okay. I said, I probably should. I think I said would no, no, I'm, I'm with it. I'm with you, but like I will, I said that I would get that as a whole should.

So my question is, do you think, well, actually, this isn't even a question. This is a statement. Fuck. That has a tattoo. Yeah. You get as a tattoo. Andy Reid definitely sends that bitmoji to his coaching staff at like 7am being like pancakes today.

And when you get that text, you're eating pancakes as a feeler. Yeah. He sends it as a feeler and he just needs one person to be like, sure. He's like, okay. If you guys want it. Fine. We'll make flapjacks again. Yeah.

And he's got one probably with double stakes. Can we put some ketchup on the pancakes coach? Yeah. So yeah, that, that, that might be my favorite little like snippet that I've ever gotten from, from the NFL head coaches meeting that Andy Reid has a bitmoji that he texts to other coaches. We also had John Gruden still not over Khalil Mack. Well, I guess maybe he is now, but he said he cried for three days after trading Mack

and a man card. I am Joe Bach, hand over your man card. I hate, it's tough for me to take John Gruden's man card because I know he's got Deuce right behind him, like ready to attack like his little pit bull, but I feel like in this case it's warranted. He, these are just the overcompensating raiders. That's all they are. Because Antonio Brown is still sub tweeting people.

He's still going after people. John Gruden knows how bad the Khalil Mack trade looks in hindsight. So he's just going to be like, by the time we're done with Khalil Mack trade, John Gruden will be like, yeah, I didn't leave my house for 14 months after I traded Khalil Mack. Like we get it, dude. You fucked up. I don't think you cried for, no way John Gruden cried. Well, the nice thing is, yeah, he doesn't, he just like his, his face secretes Corona.

Yeah. I don't think that actual water comes out of his eyes, but it actually, you know what it was? It was probably he was out of Hooters and he used the napkins after a lot of wings and then he was like the moisture on his hands, maybe got on his eyes. He's like, what is this salty feel of moisture on my face? Either that or he just, he wiped his eyes and he had wingsauce on him and so then his eyes started to tear.

See, I don't even think he cried then. It's not crying. So the other thing about John Gruden and this trade that he, so it was what, three first rounders that went out for the Khalil Mack trade? No, yeah. No, two first rounders. Two first rounders and a second or so, and a third. No, they swapped the Raiders sent back a second, which made no sense.

Okay. So, yeah, that doesn't make any sense. No, I've been pointing it out over and over. If the Bears are good next year and the Raiders are bad, they literally traded like seven spots in the draft. But the nice thing about that for John Gruden is that we're not going to be able to actually say definitively who won the Khalil Mack trade for another four years. Correct.

By which time he'll probably just retire. Right. Like he'll be out in Vegas and he'll just fade off into the desert somewhere. But yeah, he's bought himself a shitload of time. The other big Raiders news, I don't know if you saw, I talked to you about this earlier, but I feel like I should put it out there for everybody. Antonio Brown has a podcast. Now, if you're like me, you're probably saying, what the hell?

Why does Antonio Brown have a podcast? Correct. It's one episode. It's called Making the Best Decision on the Boomin Experience with Antonio Brown and DJ Legato. Wait. So, hold on. He has one podcast episode.

And remember, on Monday, I threw out the theory that he doesn't want to be on the Raiders and he's overcompensating and he's released a podcast called Making the Best Decision. Yep. He's like one step away from being like, I love the Raiders so much and this is the best move of my entire life. I'm so happy and here's a podcast telling you how happy I am. Yep. And he dropped it at midnight.

So, he's trying to get on that Leveon Beltip of releasing new tracks, but he just essentially sits down to recording of him talking to Drew Rosenhaus. I don't even know if Drew Rosenhaus knew that he was being recorded, but it's just a speakerphone conversation with Drew Rosenhaus and Drew being like, yeah, the Patriots are interested, the Titans are interested, and the Eagles are very interested too. And then Antonio Brown just being like, yeah, that's what's up. Yeah, that's what's up. So, like my theory is right.

Yes. Like he doesn't want to be a Raider and he's back into it with Juju Smith-Schuster. Antonio Brown, are we going to do this forever? Yep. Like, are you going to still, he's going to keep fighting with the Steelers for the rest of his career. Yeah. Fighting with random people that DM on Instagram.

Right. He's gotten into like four, I've seen like four or five screenshots of him just like replying to people. It's insane. The last thing we had from the NFL owners meeting was Bill Belichick. So two things. One is this comes from Jeff P. Howe. He said that he asked Bill Belichick if about, oh no, see that Bill Belichick getting ready

for his 45th NFL season. Holy shit. There's no way that's true. Yeah. I think it is. 45. Everything. And he asked him if he's got another 45 more in the tank and Belichick said probably not.

Okay. Not definitive. We're not going to close the window on Bill Belichick coaching till he's 120 or whatever it may be, but that's a probably not. For me, the, every time the NFL coaches meeting comes around, is this an owner's meeting too? Yes. Yeah. It's the owner's meeting that happens in the spring and every year it's something that

I say, fuck, we got to go to that next year. And then I forget that it ever happens until the day that Adam Schafter tweets out a picture of him like landing somewhere wearing shorts. Yes. Yeah. Until the NFL head coaches picture comes out and you're like, oh yeah, that's this year. Missed it again. But yeah, Belichick was, he was notoriously gruff.

What was the Saber Matrix on that? So Jeff Behaus said, Bill Belichick fielded 116 questions over 43 minutes this morning, 2.7 questions per minute. He said 1790 words, an average of 15.4 words per response. His most frequent phrases were, we'll see, 21 times, and I don't know, 13 times. That's like a Calvin Coolidge press conference. Go look that one up, Hank, you'll enjoy that reference. He also said he doesn't deal in hypotheticals when someone asks about Gronk, which is going

to be the best story next year is Bill Belichick vs. Gronk rumors in every press conference ever. Here's what he's going to say every time it's brought up, verbatim, we're certainly going to do what's best for the sake of New England Patriots and her team. So. I think he's going to add once he gets, once he gets asked it like a dozen times, he's going to say Rob Wimkowski is not on the team. I'm worried about my roster.

I'm here to talk about the football players that are on my team right now. Yeah, exactly. Rob was a great player for us. Yes, but he's not on the team. Um, all right. So that was basically all the NFL news we have to do quickly before we get to hot seat cool throne. Well, there's also like real quick, there's a silent struggle going on in the NFL right

now and that's over the replay review. Oh yeah. A lot of coaches have put forth measures saying that they want to put almost like just, you could call it like Gene Starrator or a Mike Pereira type guy up in the booth, whose only job is to overturn obvious missed penalties like a pass interference call like hypothetically might have happened at the end of a championship game. What are you talking about? I don't know.

So who knows who put this forward? Maybe it was who knows, who knows, who knows, it could have been any coach from the NFC South. Who does cross from the Western part of the NFC South. Who put this forward? But I guess mostly coaches liked it, but there were a few that really, really, really disagreed with it. Maybe a coach from the NFC West might not have really liked it.

And so they decided to table it for now, even though I think it was like 28 to four wanted to move forward with it or something like that. So this is what happens in the NFL. You get one call that screws over your team and then you spend the next like five, six years trying to rectify that one wrong that already happened to you and probably won't happen to you ever again. Yeah. They just chased the dragon.

It's like, we got to fix this even though it, I mean, that's the funniest thing with all these bad calls. Of course that call was terrible, but it happened once in however many years. You know what I mean? It's not going to, it doesn't happen in every game. And the other thing this does is it gives the city of New Orleans carte blanche to complain about that miss call if they don't actually enact this rule. So I'm excited about that, about seeing the continued animosity from New Orleans.

Yes. The power struggle within. All right. It is technically baseball season. Now it already started. So there's our two late predictions are mid season preview. I just as a, as like an overarching theme though, I really struggle when seasons collide. Like when the, when NBA and hockey start during football season, I can't comprehend it.

Like baseball season is here too early. I know that it always comes at this time. My brain can't hold these many sports at once. Like I'm just dealing with March madness right now. So baseball opening day, great. I love baseball, but then I'm going to need to take a break for like two months. We do give baseball permission to have opening day on the Monday after the first rounds of the NCAA tournament.

You should have had it. You can have it this week. Yeah. This can be your opening week and then just kind of, oh wait, no, no, weird. They're actually doing it on Thursday, which is right up against March madness again. Way to stay relevant baseball. Like you're so right. Just give me March.

Give me baseball this week. Do it today. Do it tomorrow. Yeah. Wednesday. You can have Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday of this week and then just kind of don't show up until mid-June. Yeah.

So, uh, let's, with that, let's do our predictions. These obviously are very serious predictions and, uh, I can't wait to go back and look at them sometime in October and Hank, why don't you start? Give us your, give us your, give us your, uh, division winners and then give us your World Series champion. The Red Sox. Okay. The Tigers, Tigers are in the central, right?

Oh wow. Tigers. Okay. I'm just trying to think of teams in the central. Uh-huh. That's going to be, there's going to be some Detroit fans who are like, fuck yes, Hank. Thank you. Finally someone.

The Tigers have, uh, their win total in Vegas is 68. That should get them the central. Is Vegas always right? Yeah. Oh yeah. Uh, and then I got Houston in the West. Okay. Then in the NLE.

I got the Mets. Hmm. Interesting. Jacob the Gromp. You believe in Tebow? Yeah. By the way. I've always, I've always, the cat's always been the one that's been anti Tebow.

I've always been, Tebow is going to be a pro. And this is the. Yeah. He's not. I think it's ludicrous that he hasn't. He's not. He's not. It is ridiculous.

I expected more from an organization that gave all their money to Bernie Madoff. They should have known that if you want to make some serious coin, you bring Tim Tebow up to the majors ASAP as possible. Yes. Uh, by the way, the Mets, Jacob, Noah Cindergaard wins like wingman of the year for basically speaking Jacob the Gromp's new contract into existence. It's like wingman of the year, but he wanted to hook up with the girl though. Well he wants the money too.

That's what I'm saying. But there's also. He's fucked himself over. Well, there's a running theory that he actually did a great job because now the Mets don't have any money left. So he doesn't have to be a Met for the rest of his life. Ah. Yeah.

Kind of smart. One, he's playing two steps ahead. Okay. In the NLE central, I got everyone's favorite Cardinals. Okay. And then in the NLE West, we'll go with the Giants. Okay. Little rebound.

The Giants are, uh, they're over under for wins 73. What? Yeah. You got some, you got some long shots there. That's fine though. I like it. All right. Uh, Peter, do you want to do yours?

Uh, I'm going to take, I'm also going to take the Red Sox in the East. Okay. I think that's a good call by Hank. I'm going to take, uh, the I words in the central and then out West, I'm also going to go with the Astros. I think that's a good pick by Hank again. Thank you. Okay.

Uh, then in the NLE East, I'm going to go with the, I'm going to go Natitude. Yeah. Natitude is back. You heard it here first. The Nationals are finally going to get that monkey off their back. They might even win two postseason games this year. So I got them then in the central, I'm going to go, um, my Reds, my Reds are looking pretty good.

Central can be tough this year. They got, they got Puig. People forget. Puig. What's Puig going to do in Cincinnati? Uh, probably eat a lot of diarrhea, chili and hit some home runs and then like not run out to first base. I feel like he'll get like 10 speeding tickets.

Yeah. Base path. No, just definitely not in Cincinnati. I'm very much looking forward to fat puig because it's going to happen. Yeah. He's got a body that's just, it's waiting to be chunk. Yes. And then in the chunk frame in the NL West, I'm going to go with, I'm going to go with

a diamondbacks. Okay. Dan Herron. I'm going to go with our guide, Dan Herron. Yes. Yeah. I think that's a, that's a sleeper pick for it. All right.

I'm going to go ALE. So I'm going to go the Yankees to hit 400 home runs and win every game 12 to 10 and then lose in the first round of the playoffs. I'm going to have, I'm going to go with the Twinkies in the central. I feel like we haven't heard from them in a long time and everyone's like, Hey, he's retired. Yeah. Everyone's like, Hey, the twins, they're building something up.

I just based it off of, if you said you were building something like two or three years ago, I haven't updated my brain yet. So I'm just like, well, is it here yet? They got Ken Herbeck still, right? Yeah. There you go. Kirby Puckett put the team on my back. There you go.

Chuck Knoblock back before he forgot how to throw the first base. I'm going to go with, in the AL West, I'm going to take the ACE. I like the ACE. I don't know why. I just love their fans. I think their fans are hilarious. They have that guy who plays a saxophone and like they all go nuts in that big, you know, and obviously the huge stadium.

Yeah. It's like got maybe one fifth full. It's great. Yeah. And the Raiders are going to be playing there again. Raiders are going to be playing there again. The NLEs, I'm going to take the Phillies. So now we have covered all of our bases except for the Braves, NL central, the Cubs are going

to win. This is the rebound year. I can feel it. And NOS, you see how you Darvish's first pitch and training. Guess what, Hank? He's healthy. He's funny. He did a pitch.

What did he do? He threw you someone, someone like minor league or fucking rocked him to center field for like 700 feet. Like his first pitch. That could have been a top prospect. But guess what? If you Darvish like that, if he does that, it still would be better than last year where he did nothing.

And if it's a windy day in Chicago, you got to eat up pitches, dude. You got to inning zealours. That's a can of corn right there. Yeah, right. We're good yet. The Seagulls are flying. It's perfect. Late afternoon.

Rockies. So those are our predictions that no one really cares about. And I also predict that Bryce Harper is going to retire by mid season because the Philadelphia media and fans will be too much for him to handle. That's that's the funniest. The funniest part about like him getting a hundred million dollars less than Mike Trout is the fact that he's now going to have to deal with the media. Like Philadelphia media is just going to be up his ass about how much money he did make for the next 13 years. Yes. I'm kind of joking when I say that because like that's become the take. But I do believe that the Philadelphia media make no mistake about it is much, much different than the DC media and the DC fans.

Yes. And and Hank's right. Like this is how it works with every there's in sports. There are no contracts that are you never look back on a big contract like that was a great deal. There's very rarely happens because you just by nature pay the guys for the things in the past. Hey, Rob. Yeah. Great. Yeah. I mean that's the first one. Yeah. The big one 242. It's funny. I was just thinking one one when we're going through these. That's right. One one when we're going through the list of the different division winners. I saw the angels and I was like, I can't even name a single angel. I've already forgotten about Mike Trout. Mike Trout. Mike Trout. Yeah. Mike Trout. Yeah. Yo, that's much better. Name yourself

Mike Trout. Mike the Trout. Mike the bike. Rest in peace. All right. Let's do hot seat cool throne. Tune in for our World Series picks in on October 1st show. We'll do it then. Fair. Yep. Deal. All right. Hot seat cool throne. Hank, get us going. My hot seat is the big baller brand. Robocall. Another one. Fucking bullshit. Okay. Big baller brand is in it's in hot water. Might be the end of big baller brand. Yep. So Lonzo Lonzo Balls manager apparently stole like a million and a half dollars from him. So there was he got fired. There's a whole big controversy. And then the Lakers apparently like hit up Lonzo and said there's a chance that your ankles fucked up because he'd been wearing big baller

brand shoes, which we all knew was going to happen. And then Lonzo's ball manager was seen throwing a pair of BBB shoes in the garbage. And yeah, they're just probably probably the end of big baller. So has anybody followed up on this and seen what kind of shoes he's actually wearing around? I don't know. Well, he tweeted Nike. He like deleted in a very petty move, petty wars, petty league. He deleted all the pictures he had on his Instagram like BBB stuff. And then he put up a picture where he was wearing like a Nike shirt when he was a kid. Let this be a lesson to every kid out there. Don't let your dad try to design a shoe company that's going to fuck your ankles up. Just have your dad ask the college coach

for a lot of money before he goes for a new house and a big bag. Yeah, and you'll be much easier that way. Yes, especially now that Avenatti is going to jail. Yeah. And did you see that explosive report that Deandre Aten got paid? No way. Great, great segue because my cool throne is Nike. Oh, Michael Avenatti came out with a scolding hot report saying that the Phoenix sons Deandre Aten was accused of his mother allegedly taking cash payments from Nike before committing to Arizona. So that really shocked the college basketball community. Yeah. Basta. No way. But then like about 10 minutes later, it was reported he was arrested for trying to embezzle money from Nike. Yeah, that was tough. Sean Miller

off the hook, but dodged another bullet. Yeah. Sean Miller's never going to, he's never going to get in trouble for that. It's also the funniest crime when these things get like crime and I use in quotes here, get announced that a player took money and everyone's like, yes, yeah, more power to you. Yeah. Next, he's going to have an expose about Reggie Bush's mom's house. Right. Like no way. This will shock you. The person who's super talented and didn't want to play for free, got a little money. I'm I am personally offended. I thought it was amateur athletics. Damn. Is that I think? Yeah, all done. Okay. My hot seat is the dog rates Twitter account again. Okay. So we rate dogs and we'll get to that a little

bit later with Joku. But they did a Spon Con yesterday. Sponsored content. The Dumbo movie paid the dog account. Remember the one that took a hiatus for or no, no, no, no, no, there's a racism dog. Yeah, the other the other races. We rate dogs, get your dogs, get your dogs, get your dogs, dogs. We rate dogs account got in trouble because they were whitewashing the names of dogs that were being submitted to them to get more engagement calling a dog that was named, I think like Kujo calling it like Peter. Yeah. Right. Or Christopher. A really white name like Henry or something like that. Jesus. Yeah. So exactly the whitest person of all. So they got paid by Disney to do a Dumbo ad and the internet was not happy

with them. Just completely roasted. It was like an unfollow. We rate dogs movement. Oh no, canceled. Yeah, they're canceled. Yes, because they've you know what is Leroy standing with his brother's arms? Leroy does not get paid bad time to be a dog on the internet. That being said, if anybody would like to sponsor Leroy's account, all ears, all ears, because he's blind. So he literally has all ears. You can't take Leroy can't take money. He's a journalist. He can. He can and he will. I don't know about that. He's a big, he's a big J journalist. I think he did get sponsored a couple years ago. Oh, wow. So he's already compromised. Very compromised. But let this be known that we rate dogs account is fully

compromised now. Okay. So you can't trust what they say. My cool throne is passport day. Yes. So I'm once again vindicated. Now I didn't want to talk about this a lot because I I did get this is the most boring story ever. It's very boring, but it's just something that I grasped I grasped onto. It's boring to a lot of people, but I've received probably like 30 or 40 messages from professional athletes, college athletes telling me, don't give up on passport day. It's a real thing. Damn, we had it. All right. You know what? We'll concede so that we don't have to talk about it. Okay, done. But Ryan Braun couldn't get into Canada because he didn't have his passport. So let's just be a lesson. You should always

have passport day. Always show up to passport. My other cool throne is my bank account. So I have a very generous benefactor who's back. I'm not sure if I told you guys about this guy, but four years ago when I started covering the presidential debates, I attended a debate wearing a big inflatable Bud Light shoulder pad thing that I found at a bar that was like a quarter mile away from where the debate was. So I put this inflatable thing on, took a couple pictures, went in, covered the debate, whatever. Two days later, when I finally posted my article about it, I got a DM from a very mysterious person named Halo Reach. That was his, his Twitter handle or whatever. Big Halo guy who was extremely sexually turned on

by inflatable plastic items. And I looked at his Twitter account and it was all just like retweets of people wearing just like float, like adults wearing floaties and pools. And he would not stop DMing me. And you see the chunk video? No, but I'll tell him about it. So he paid me, I think like 50 bucks to send him more pictures of me wearing this inflatable shoulder pad. Nice. Just like sugar daddy. Yeah, sugar daddy. They weren't like sexual in nature. I was just, yeah, of course not. So I was just like, yeah, you just had to get your dick hard just because that's all just because he jerked off to it doesn't mean that I was jerking off to it. Right. Anyways, so fast forward four years and he slid into

my DMs last night just out of nowhere asking me if I've bought any more inflatable shoulder pads. Very horny. I told him that I had, I haven't yet, but I'm going to get some more money off this guy. Wow. This relationship based on trust is about to crumble. Well, yeah. Yeah, exactly. So I got to buy some inflatable shoulder pads after work today. Does he is into like heavier guys? We, I mean, I wouldn't mind a little cash too. We could do like all of us dress up in inflatable stuff. I'm definitely, you don't have to only be wearing it. Like I was wearing it over my clothes. He just liked the look of guys wearing. Right. I'm saying how much for a picture with four guys in inflatable stuff. See if you can really

200 probably 200. Yeah. See if you can milk it. Okay. I'm on, I'll send the chunk video to who love that. That's actually a really good idea. Yeah. Yeah. To actually, let's make a private and send it to him and charge him first. He might actually, he might hate that because it's not traditional inflatable stuff. Yeah. Or he probably is counts for like 120,000 of the 125,000 views. Yeah. So the, the screen name that I gave for him, I left out some of the numbers and a bunch of other stuff. So no one's going to be able to find him. Nope. Cause he only follows like three people. Yep. But yeah. So I'm going to be making, I'm going back to the well on this guy. Okay. I like that. I like that.

All right. My hot seat is me future me. Cause if you've probably read the blog, I tweeted about it. I Instagram did. I put it everywhere. I'm going to be a father. Uh, future me's fucked. Big time fucked. I'm actually very excited. It was on purpose. I'm excited. I'm terrified past you was fucked. Yes. But future me is also fucked because time management father of a child, father of a child. Yes. Sorry, Hank. Good, good call. Not a cat. Not a cat. We're all very proud of you. Thank you. Uh, yeah. I'm, I'm scared. I probably, we probably won't be making much content, if any, maybe every now and then an anecdote, we don't really do that stuff here, but I thought it probably needs to be said to the

people who listen to part of my take, maybe don't have Twitter, Instagram, read blogs. Who are you people out there right now? Well, when you, when you say that we're not going to be making content, part of my take is still going to be making content. You mean like we're not going to be using your future child. I'm quitting. Yeah. I'm going to be a stay at home dad. We also need to figure out an emergency, uh, due date podcast. We have to tape beforehand. So who we should interview or open the ears on that one. Let me ask you something. Yeah. Um, dad to dad, are you planning on letting your future Obama's son play football? Yes. If me tying, uh, his right hand behind his back doesn't work and he's not a really good lefty

reliever. Okay. I think that's fair. There we go. Or just punting. Oh, yeah. Let him play soccer as a kid. And then once he gets like middle school, just only, only punting. Well, it's like, like the one kid that, that fucks up and then the next kid, you just like put all your dreams and wishes in that. Like Billy refused to be a fucking long snapper. So my real child, it would now be a long snapper. We do have practice though with Billy. Billy sent me a text. Oh, really? That's congrats. I said, I miss you, dude. And then didn't respond. Glad to hear you still alive. Now, if you start missing shows, I'm going to have to challenge your child's rough and rowdy. That's fair. I hope totally fair. Yeah, totally fair. There'll be no shows missed.

My other hot seat is PFT. Oh, because his girl, Cardi B is very problematic. Yes. Turns out she is. Turns out we got a problem because Cardi B is drugging people. No, she apologized though. Oh, she did? Yeah, she said, oh, we're good. She said, best she can do is just move forward. Okay. So my girl Cardi B is cool. No, I'm, I'm a stripper. Like, well, I don't, oh, well, oh, Hank, Hank, whoa, don't, don't judge women. Don't come at our girl like that. Don't judge exotic dancers. Don't do that. You're not, you're not better than, than a stripper. I'm not saying that I am, but people acting like they're surprised. Whoa. What does that mean? Yeah. So you think every stripper fucks and, and drugs people? No. Hmm. That's exactly what it sounded

like. Interesting. Listen, Cardi B, we've all made mistakes in our past. I think that what she admitted to doing was probably pretty bad, but it also was an episode from Seinfeld. So it can't be that bad. Exactly. Exactly. George was chained to his bed. Yeah. And guys are horny. Left naked. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to have to reevaluate my relationship with Cardi B. I'm not. I'm standing behind her. That's what you should. I'm standing behind her, Hank. That's my girl. Unless there's more facts come out, then I will disavow. It's like rappers that are like rapping about guns, and they get arrested for like gunfishing. Right. Good point. Yeah. Great point, Hank. But what I'm doing, I'm playing hard to get. You cocks her just going right back and say, yeah, Cardi B,

abuse me. Spit in my mouth. I'm fine with that if Cardi B wants to drug me. Just a little stay woke. She did just sign on for a stripping movie. Oh, true. Isn't this, isn't this like the last thing that, like the last type of publicity that needs those? Like Liam Neeson, when he was doing that, that cold version of Taken, and he talked about being taken with snow in Northern Ireland, just going to look for an African American, or not, I guess it should be a black person to be about. Oh, you're talking about his real life? Yeah, his real life. His real life when he wanted to commit a hit crime? Yeah, he got in the news, but it was for all the bad reasons, and the movie sucked, and didn't do well. So I don't think it's for publicity. I think that Cardi just made some

bad mistakes in her past, and I will forgive her once she slides in my DMs. Liam Neeson doesn't get enough credit for just being like, I'm sick of making the same movie over and over and over again. So I'm going to say the worst possible thing that I've ever thought out loud, and then everyone canceled me. Yep. Yeah, perfect. It worked. Good job, Liam. All right, my cool throne is Hank, your owner, Robert Kraft. Not guilty. Mr. Kraft. That's his plea. He still probably is guilty, but he pled not guilty. He pled not guilty to not being sorry. Yes, he's still sorry. Well, he's truly sorry. He's truly sorry for disappointing people, but he has pled not guilty, and maybe we'll go to court. I just, I need to see the video. We're doing enough pussyfooting

around this video to see the full video. Give us the video. You know, Gronk is fucking excited to see that video. He's going to try to get a tattoo of the video. Mr. Kraft got his dick whacked. Gronk's gone. I know. Although he's kind of more around anyway now. Hopefully he'll come on the show eventually. And he's going to come back. Okay. I thought you don't talk in hypotheticals. Interesting. What did I say? You're now going against your coach. Belichick, he talks about who's on the roster right now. He's not going to talk about the whole thing about that. You weren't listening. No, I was, but Belichick doesn't talk in hypotheticals. Right. Oh, you do. Okay. Okay. So you're not a Belichick guy. No, I am. But I could be a Belichick guy,

but also be my own person. You just go against everything he says. No, he has his own philosophy. This is Hank Interprezel right now. All right. Let's do our interviews. Let's go first up. Coach Buzz Williams, Duke Slayer, Friday night, Virginia Tech versus Duke. We make a big announcement about Hank's future cat on air with Buzz. Before we get to that, then we'll go to David Nijoku, tight end for the Cleveland Browns. Before we get to that, every guy wants to last longer, but thinking about baseball doesn't always work. The folks at Roman and online men's health company are changing the game with Roman swipes, the secret to longer, better sex. Saying the Pledge of Allegiance in your head, counting backwards from 10, you've probably tried it all. Well,

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sensitive areas and wait a few minutes. That's it. So keep Roman swipes in your back pocket for longer, better sex and get yours fast with free two day shipping by visiting getroman.com slash take. That's getroman.com slash take getroman.com slash take. Check him out right now. Okay, here he is. Coach Buzz Williams. Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend. He is the head coach of the Virginia Tech Hokies men's basketball team sweet 16 this weekend. It is Buzz Williams coach. Very excited to have you on and I also have a little stat for you. You ready for this? Yes, sir. You are one and oh in sweet 16 games played in Washington, D.C. in your career. Yes, sir. I remember it. Yep. Or or more accurately,

one and one in a regional. No, D.C. No, I said sweet 16. This is this is actually from John Rothstein. I said sweet 16 your own one in elite eights in D.C. in your career. That's your one and oh in sweet 16s. That means guarantee that would be great. It would be an incredible, incredible experience. Obviously, we have our hands full, but I remember playing Miami in that game in that same arena. Obviously, I have the same memories two days later when we didn't play as well against Syracuse. So so Friday night, obviously huge game. Duke is kind of the story of the year story of the tournament. How do you get your team prepared for, you know, you played them in the regular season, but without Zion, Zion didn't play for Duke. Justin Robinson

didn't play for you guys. How do you get them ready for such a big moment, big stage when everyone knows that like all eyes on Duke? Sure. I mean, this in a respectful way. Obviously, Coach K is arguably the best coach ever in college basketball and history will speak to how good Zion has been, but it's hard to argue with what he's been able to do. I hate that he got hurt to interrupt the momentum that he had. They're deserving of all of the notoriety that goes to them. We're accustomed to not receiving any. We're always the last ones to the party. That's kind of the collection of our program. That's my story. That's my staff story. In many respects, most of our kids have that same sort of story. So I don't think that we'll be caught off

guard that every question we get will be about Duke or be about Zion or be about how many lottery picks are on their team. I think we'll handle all of that very well. I think we'll handle it in an humble way. They're deserving of all of that. But I think to some degree that we're in the position that we are, to some degree, we've also accrued some level of respect to be able to be in this position. So we'll handle it fine. Our kids will be excited to play and they're accustomed to being the last person to the dance. Well, I'm going to bring up a topic that I'm not sure if you'll get asked about again, but it's certainly not necessarily about Duke. It's more about the fact that you have a nation of supporters and fans that are now counting on you to ensure that our producer,

Hank Lockwood, has to get a cat. He has to adopt a cat. So not only are there millions of people that are rooting for you and pulling for you that might not necessarily be Hokie fans to begin with, but you've also got the added responsibility of you can save a cat's life if you win this game. Does that put any extra pressure on you? Absolutely. Our kids were a little upset, though, the ones that listened to you guys. I apologize because I should have handled it better when you guys stopped through campus. I should have had our kids over here, so they would have had an opportunity to spend time with you guys and take a picture. But I'll make sure that when I see them later today that they understand what's at stake and arguably that would be the most

important thing that we would save a cat's life and that Hank would become a proud cat owner. I don't want to put even more pressure on you, coach, but I'm going to do it right now. PFT and I didn't discuss this before him, but I think he's going to agree with me. The name of the cat is going to be LeBron Lockwood, but I'm thinking the middle name is going to be Buzz. So it's going to be LeBron Buzz Lockwood if Virginia Tech can upset Duke on Friday night. Well, and if that's his middle name, then that's what he should go by, right? Yeah, that's true. That's true. Yeah, just call it Buzz. Yeah. Yeah, but yeah, the legal name is LeBron Lockwood, but we'll all call it Buzz.

That's a great cat name. Buzz is a good name. You can't have a two-syllable cat name, can you? It has to be one syllable. Yeah, so the cat can learn its name easier. I agree with that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, a cat's not very smart, right? No, definitely not. And we just need one syllable. Yeah. And it's, words we use with cats are always one syllable. It's true. It's true. And Hank is going to, it's like an 18-year commitment or 20-year commitment. Cats live forever. So we're excited for this. Hank has a one-syllable name, and so therefore the cat should have a one-syllable name. I agree. I love it. I love it. Hey, I actually had a random question. Do you guys,

do you ever look at Ken Palm? Yes, sir. I do. I believe in Ken Palm. I study it a lot. There's two, two guys on my staff that have been with me a long time that are analytical and how they approach things. And so for sure it's something we study throughout the year, not just now. Yeah. Cause I mean, we, you know, Ken Palm gets a lot of recognition, especially this year, because it's, you know, the top 14 teams in his rankings. And then, and then I think, I think it may be LSU is a few after that, and then Oregon, who's been the hottest team. I think LSU is 18. Yeah. So it's been pretty amazing, like, you know, how the analytics have kind of showed true throughout the tournament. I just always am curious if you guys pay attention to that and

you're like, Hey, you know, we're doing something right because we're top 10 in Ken Palm and we're top 10 in like these rankings. That's right. Yeah. We study it throughout the year. You know, obviously as the sample size grows, they become more and more accurate. In my opinion, how, how he goes about all of the different categories is probably the most accurate reflection of what a team is, not necessarily what a player is, but what a team is. And all of the different things, you know, every coach has a different philosophy on what's most important to them. And how they go about winning. And as our teams have changed here, some of the things that we emphasize more are based on what we learn from the different parts of Ken Palm that we think

give us our best chance for winning. I read an article that said that when you, when you coach, you typically teach 95% in life lessons and just 5% basketball. Would you say that? I'm not a very good, I'm not a very good basketball coach. Are you sure? I mean, you're in the sweet 16. So you're probably, you're pretty good, right? Yeah, I think, I think too much notoriety is probably given to head coaches and so much of it is because of their personality or their accessibility. And I get all of that. And I'm thankful for this opportunity. But I think the daily work that your staff does, I think the older I get, the more I realize how important a staff is. And it's not just the recruiter, it's not just

the quote coach. It's all of them pulling in the same direction. And I think it's the connectedness of your staff and the example that your staff sets for your team, right? You can't, you can't be in the sweet 16 or it's rare if you're in the sweet 16. If it's, if you think it's only based on talent or if it's only based on coaching, there have to be a lot of other intangibles in order for you to be playing in the last week of March. And I'm convicted not because I'm a good person. I'm convicted that I think my most important responsibility is to make sure that everyone in our program, including the players, that the experience that they have here, when they leave, they're better for it. They're better for it for their life, not just their basketball career.

And so it's partly because I have such a long way to go as a person and so many lessons I need to learn. A lot of it is my children are growing up and my children are in the same generation as what our players are. And so I think I've always been that if you talk to some of the old guys that I used to coach, they would say the same thing. It's not because I'm trying to be holier than now. It's not that at all. It's just that I want to make sure that my relationship with those kids, with those staff members, with those coaches, that no matter how long that they're with us, that when they leave, they feel like that they're better prepared for life. And as I've gotten older, the cat, I probably do less and less schematic things or strategic things.

I'm aware of it. We still do it. But I probably overemphasize life and the wisdom that we need to gain from ball and under-emphasize, here's a new out-of-bounds play. Yeah. So what are you working on more this week? Are you back to 95% life lessons, 5% basketball? Are you doing more basketball to get ready for Duke? Well, I just think that there's so much from this experience, right? We were in San Jose, we went out there on Wednesday of last week. Obviously, we played Friday and we played Sunday. And some of the media that are there, obviously, are not the people that cover us. And so if you don't know me and you don't know, maybe, or have a feel for the culture of our

program, when we're on the stage being interviewed, maybe you're caught off guard. And one of the guys asked a question similar to that to Ahmed Hill. And he said, yeah, coach just taught us a life lesson. We just beat Liberty to go to the sweet 16. And coach was telling everybody to calm down and wanted to teach us a life lesson. And then the follow-up question was to me and the same guy said, can you teach it to me? And so I explained to him what I tried to teach our guys. Just because we're playing Duke, that does not change what I believe my approach should be. What I'm thankful for is it's another week that our team's able to be together. It's another week that we can practice. Obviously, we're assured at least one more game. And so

I think this experience in and of itself is life-changing for all the people that are involved. I saw that quote where you said, basically, you just want to keep playing because you want to keep hanging out with your guys. And I love that. That's what it's all about. Yeah, it's the truth. It's the truth. I wouldn't say that I felt that away in my first week, 16 or the second one, or even the third one. I think I was morphing to that by the time the last time we were in DC. But no, I never thought that I would coach at a four-year college, much less a division one college, or a power five. None of that was ever in my paradigm growing up. And I think one thing that as these opportunities have presented themselves, or I've been blessed

with, I'm more and more convicted that maybe the wisdom, if that's the word, that I've learned from the prior experiences, that I'm trying to pass it on to our assistants, that I'm trying to pass it on to our managers, that I'm trying to pass it on to our players. And that's the truth. I know it doesn't come across maybe in an appealing way, but just an opportunity to be with them another week. We get on the plane from San Jose and come back home and we know we get to work today. And the team is still our team and we still get to play. And there's only 16 teams left. And when we wake up on Saturday morning, there's only going to be eight teams left. And so yeah, I think that's really cool. All right. My last question is not even a question,

it's just a tip. Before the game, think about maybe going up to like RJ Barrett and Zion and being like, Hey, I watched a lot of tape and I don't care what people say, you're a lot better of a three-point shooter than people give you credit for. Like you should keep shooting. Just shoot, shoot, shoot. I don't know if RJ or Cam or any of those guys even know what my name is. I always reintroduce myself to, I reintroduce myself to coach K. Every time we play coach, I'm buzz, good to see you. I probably sent you a million letters, handwritten letters back in the day. I just take the pressure off everybody, but, but for me to think that any of their players even know what my name is, they'd probably think I was the, you know, somebody that just came

out of the stands and was talking crazy to me. I don't think they even know who I am. All right. We love you, buzz. And we're going to be rooting for you. And future LeBron buzz Lockwood will be pulling for you. If Hank doesn't call the cat buzz, we're going to have problems. When you guys, when you guys stop through on the grit tour, surely we're approaching grit tour level with our relationships. Yep. If Hank is not calling the cat buzz, then we're subbing Kate in as the producer. I like that. And Hank can stay his ass at home.

I like that. I like that. That's fair. That's fair. All right, coach. Best of luck on Friday. We'll be rooting for you. Thank you so much. All right. I appreciate the opportunity to be on. All right. That interview with buzz Williams was brought to you guys by credit karma. April 15th is coming in hot, but relax. Credit karma tax is here for you because they make doing your taxes fast, free and easy. You heard me. Fast, easy and free credit karma tax is a premium online tax product that's always free for everyone, both state and federal taxes. That's both of them. You don't get that with the other guys.

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helped millions of people by offering tax filing services for free that they'd have to pay for almost everywhere else. Credit karma tax is a smart easy and 100% free way to do your taxes. Go to creditkarma.com slash tax and file for free today. That's creditkarma.com slash tax. And now for something completely different. Okay, we now welcome on very special guest. It is the tight end for the Cleveland Browns David Najoku. And he has been doing a bunch of interviews today. I told you beforehand, I'm going to work smart not hard. So my first question is going to be what was the best question someone else asked you? That's a great question. Thank you. Already firing. The best question someone asked me was probably to give well not a question per

say more like a statement give an embarrassing story. And I managed to do that. What did you say? No comment. No, you got to say, Hey, next question, David, what's the most embarrassing story? I got a lot, but I can't think of any on top of my head right now. Okay. Were you did you ever think about doing the seven floor crew Redux with Greg Olsen? Yeah, our guy. Yeah. Yeah. Third leg. You should have done that. All right, let's actually start here. Is is the you back? The you is back. I believe so. I just saying that Wisconsin every bowl game or what's what to find back this post. What school did you go to Wisconsin? Fair enough. Fair enough. Okay. You know, okay. You walked right into that one. Yeah. Well,

you know, obviously we had some trouble in the past couple of years, but you know, we're trying to get it back together. Okay. Are you a fan of the turnover chain? Big fan. Are you? Does it piss you off a little bit how other colleges kind of co-opted it and they tried to do their own like the turnover backpack and all this weird stuff? I mean, it's cool that everyone wants to be like us. So I ain't tripping. Yeah. That's true. That's a good point. It did bring back a little bit of, although the turnover chain is an interesting thing because if you have to really, you have to win. If you lose with the turnover chain, then it's pretty good. Yeah. Here's an easy one to start out with. So my dog reported that Eric Berry is going to sign with

the Browns. Is that accurate? That's a good question. I mean, I don't know. I wish I knew. I hope so. Okay. He's a great, great player. So we'll see. Okay. I remember when, when all that news was breaking was crazy. So to us, like the Odell Beckham story kind of came out of nowhere, but everybody on the Browns had been like, you know, tweeting out their cryptic little emojis ahead of time. You had, you had an inclination that something was happening, right? Yeah. I had a feeling. I did. Okay. Do you think you owe an apology to your fantasy owners because you didn't score enough touchdowns in 2018? No. Okay. That was easy. Easy question. Is it weird follow-up? Is it weird being like a fantasy? You went from a kind of a fantasy sleeper this year. Do people

come up to you and say stuff like, Hey, I have you on my fancy team. Cause that kind of happened in this past year with you where you kind of exploded onto the scene. Everyone's like, Hey, you got to get, you got to get David a joke. Thank you. I appreciate that. Oh, did you ever use crystals with a Devon could juice? I did. He actually gave me a couple. Really? Do you have them on you? No, no, I mean, no, back in Cleveland. What kind of crystals did he give you? A bunch. I can't think of any on top of my head. There was like, you know, crystals for like, you know, good health, you know, good spirit, you know, all that stuff. Yeah. He seemed like a really interesting guy, like a very unique kind of person. Definitely is for sure. Yeah. It's weird

because, you know, obviously you guys were on hard knocks this year. So we all feel like we know the Browns more than we know a lot of other teams out there. I think that they're America's team now. I think that everybody loves the Browns. You guys are really easy charismatic group to root for. But along with that, you know that it's not going to be the same old Browns anymore. You're going to get the best shot from the Steelers every time they come to like every other team. Now you've got a target on your back. Can you like feel a difference this offseason? Definitely a bigger difference than I felt, you know, after my first year going on 16. That was kind of tough. But now, you know, after this past year, going seven, eight and one, you know, we'd

had a big leap from my first year. And now we're trying to get an even bigger leap this upcoming year. So I'm excited for that. What was it like having Baker show up and like turn in terms of energy and leadership? Because obviously he started as the backup. Was he able to, you know, was there buzz in the locker room with Baker from day one? Well, yeah, you know, being the number one overall pick, you know, obviously we expected him to play, you know, early. So once he came on against the Jets, he did his thing and I'm really happy that we got him. Yeah. Is he has he yelled at you or cussed you out at all? I feel like it's a fiery guy. It's back and forth. It's ball. You know what I'm saying? You can't play the sport with soft skin. You know, at the end of the day,

we're all trying to do the same thing, which is win. So yeah, yeah. I've heard that you're good friends of Miles Garrett. Which one of you wears a shirt less? Well, Miles is bigger than me. So I would, I would say him, but, you know, just being involved a lot. I'm really never wearing a shirt. Yeah. You love to, you love to practice with your shirt off. You're just flexing on everybody on the team. I just, I just like practicing comfortably. Yeah. How cool is that to be able to take off your shirt and like have abs and stuff? You can take off your shirt if you want. No, I don't want to smoke. I would always have my, I'd be podcasting with my shirt off. It's fun. I mean, I guess it's fun. It seems fun. Just be like, man, look at these muscles.

Sick, right? Sick. Yeah. Right. Seriously. It is probably great. Yeah. It's awesome. I've never been a shirt off guy. That's not really a surprise. It's not breaking news, but yeah, I've never been a shirt off guy. Do you do special exercises so you give yourself bigger abs or more defined abs? Or is that part of your normal workout? Uh, workout also probably genetics. You know, I, uh, I think I've had ads for the last, I don't know how many years I guess for as long as I remember. I've always wanted that about football players because there's, you know, the different workouts that you get from your coaches are usually a lot of core stuff, a lot of squats, that sort of thing, lower body, but you guys all are jacked up and have big biceps.

Do you guys like sneak off to the side and get in like a quick set of curls too? I would, I would think so. I would think so probably to make themselves feel better. Yeah. So you said genetics, your, your family, your parents are from Nigeria originally, right? Were they like introduced to football when they came here and became fans of the sport or are they still like, no, this game's crazy. Um, they think it's very dangerous. Obviously my parents grew up playing soccer. So, uh, you know, obviously less contact. So, uh, yeah, when I, when I started playing, they weren't too happy about it. Did they try to push you to play soccer? They tried to push me to just not play football. They just thought anything but football. I love the sport.

If you played soccer, we probably would win a world cup though. I mean, I wouldn't be this big, that's for sure. Yeah, that's true. I was doing some reading about your pregame and like your off day training and you do a lot of meditation. Correct. So explain how you got into meditation because I think I have a theory for you that I don't know if you've thought about. All right, well, I was maybe in like eighth grade and we were at some, uh, uh, something as like a whole like school, whatever. And, uh, I, I offered to be hypnotized. Okay. Now during that process, I was not hypnotized. And instead I found myself meditating and just, you know, you know, talking to my body like in my head and it just, it just worked for me. And then you've been meditating

ever since. Correct. Do you think there's any chance that the person who hypnotized you hypnotized you to become addicted to meditation? That's a great, that's a great, uh, theory. I think that's exactly what happened because you're like, Oh, I wasn't hypnotized. I just came out being like, I love to meditate. Correct. Correct. So you've been hypnotized this whole entire time. Boom. Yeah. Mind blown. Yeah. Correct. That'll be wild. So wait, what mindset did he put you into where, like, how did you know that you were meditating if you had never meditated before? Right. Well, what he was telling me, uh, he first had me sit down with a bunch of other people that were my classmates and, uh, you know, just, he was just talking to us, telling us to do certain

things, you know, you know, put your hands on your, on your lap, feel like your arms and legs weigh like a million pounds and you can't let them up. But, uh, instead of, you know, uh, freaking out, you got to, you know, focus on, on relaxation and breathing and everything. And it worked out for me. Yeah. This is the, the plot to office space. You're, you're hypnotized. Right. Currently, yeah. You are always been hypnotized. Love it. I mean, it got me here. So I'm happy about it. That's true. A good head coach. A great athlete. A good head coach is nothing but a hypnotist, really. True. Huge. Do you think Hugh Jackson had Jimmy Haslam hypnotized? I mean, I don't know. I don't know. Maybe. I think so. Wait. So, so talk to me about

meditation for real though. So you, you know, I don't, I feel like a lot of people don't, uh, at least in the NFL don't talk about meditating and, and, uh, you know, using it before practice and all that stuff. So you do it every single day. I try to, I try to, if, if I don't forget, I try to. And what's the process that like, you know, how long do you meditate for? It could be five minutes. It could be 15 minutes. It really depends on, on how you feel per day. And, and, and, and does, have you noticed that it helps? What do you like meditating about catching balls and stuff? You meditate, whatever you want to meditate. Me personally, I, I envisioned myself in the NFL to making plays here and there,

uh, just, you know, just bring me to a more relaxation state. That's very awesome. So you basically play Madden in your head. In theory. 15 minutes a day. It's not really animated. It's more like, you know, real life. Do you have to be, uh, do you have to be by yourself in the quiet? Or can you do this in, in a busy room with other people? Well, at first, you know, I would like to be by myself, but after doing it for so long, you know, you can focus yourself, you can focus on, you know, just yourself and ignore the outside noise. And you know, you can, you can do that as well. Do you want to meditate right now for a minute? All three of us have a meditation club. Do you know how? Yeah. You just close your eyes.

How do you know how? No, that's not, that's not, that's not it. Cause you focus on your breathing, right? Focus on your breathing. That's, that's correct. Go ahead. Okay. And then you say ohm at some point. No, I don't say ohm. You can say ohm. Would you have a mantra that you say? I say, do you have a mantra or like a recurring chant that you do? No, no, I don't, I don't, I don't speak when I meditate. Okay. So we close our eyes, we focus on our breathing. I mean, you don't have to close your eyes. We're in glasses. You can, you can keep your eyes open. Yeah, I got my eyes closed. Now what? Now focus on what you want to focus on. Focus on, on this podcast. I want to focus. How do you

make this podcast great? I want to focus on asking you a really good question after I get out of my meditative state. Okay. Boom. So what was that embarrassing story? Well, I guess you didn't meditate strong enough. Damn. I'm going to start meditating. Just try. Oh, great question. Do you like swagger or moose the dog better? Who's moose the dog? Did you watch Hard Knocks? You didn't watch Hard Knocks. I mean, I was more focused on, on playing ball than, you know. That's probably smart, but I mean, it was a great, it was a great show. This was the best season of all. So wait, you're telling me, as a professional athlete, you're more focused on being better as a professional athlete than the cute dog walking around the facility. Oh, that dog? Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know. I didn't know

his name was moose, but yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know who that is. And you know, swagger, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which dog do you like better? Well, swagger doesn't like me too much. Whenever I come to the facilities, you know, when I lose my ID, he always, you know, barks at me. So he likes me. He's a good guard dog. Yeah. Okay. So he's like a 12 out of 10, very good pupper. And then moose will be 14 out of 10 would boop. Yeah. That's how we, that's how we rate thoughts. Have you talked to, uh, have you talked to Odell yet? I mean, yeah, I've talked to him prior to the trade. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, is that, did you just admit to tampering? Ooh. Sorry. Did you just, what did you talk about before the trade? About everyday stuff. Like, yeah. Like how awesome

and disciplined for the Browns. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. What, uh, is he, I saw that like tweet he had or Instagram where he was like saying that he needed some time and needed a mental vacation or something. Is he, is he okay? Is he ready to go with the Browns? He's ready to go. You sure? I'm excited about it. Okay. But what I don't know about that. What about the factors just one ball? I'm telling you, he's ready to go. Are you telling a guaranteed, guaranteed, guaranteed, ready to go. There's just one ball though. Correct. Just one ball. A lot of talent. It's called competition. It's gonna be fun. I mean, you guys, I think without a doubt, have on paper the most talent at the skill positions on offense this year. Are you guys excited? Are you

like ready to go? Am I excited? The answer to that question is yes. Yeah. Ready to go. Ready to go? Yes. Also, yes. Okay. Also, yes. Okay. Are you a little bit afraid that like Landry and, uh, and Beckham are going to be boys because they were, you know, so close together back in college, you're going to get left out. They won't invite you to movies. Yeah. Yeah. Terrified. Yeah. They're going to carpool together and be like, I'm going to, I'm going to Uber, Uber Dolo. Yeah. You should dye your hair blonde on like the first day of camp. What's up guys? Yeah. Hey, my hair was always like this. You're wearing an LSU shirt. Yeah. What's up guys? You're tigers, right? No. Go, go Canes for me. Real question about like, you know, we joke about there's only one ball, but what

do you do when you feel like you're getting open, but you're not getting the ball until your quarterback by your open. And how does that work? Is it usually like, like in terms of just in the heat of battle, if you're like, man, I can kill my guy one on one, are you, are you going back to the offensive coordinator? Like, Hey, it's all about communication. Yeah. If you're really open and you believe it, then you got to say it. How was Todd Haley as a communicator? Right into that one, right into that Todd Haley. He's cool, you know, but not for me. Not for a lot of people. Kind of abrasive. Yeah. He's got a different style. Was there just a different mood in the building? Could you just sense once all those changes happened last year? And it was Greg taking over and Freddie on off?

What's Freddie like? Is he, he seems like a really down to earth guy. Let me, let me, let me answer your first question. When, when there was changes and everything happened, we, we kind of took it upon ourselves to, uh, you know, for, you know, get together closer and, uh, and get this going, you know, obviously we could have easily been like, all right, well, this is an excuse for us to lose and everything, but we didn't do that. You know, we focused on, uh, what we had to do to, uh, you know, be, uh, try to win it each week. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for answering my question because I just realized I asked a second one. Yeah. You asked two questions and wanted me to answer the second one. That's not really, it's not good. You gotta do better than that. I'll be better.

Judge me on the rest of this interview. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Okay. Okay. Start over right now. Are we as polished as get up? First question as polished. I mean, honestly, I like this, this laid back look. Yeah. It's a lot better. Just chill out. Guys being dudes talking about guys being dudes. What was greenie like? Did he give any locker room talk? He likes to joke around a lot with people. My green bird. Uh, he was cool. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. Did you shake your hand? He's kind of a germaphobe. Uh, he's got like a wet fish handshake type thing. Can't remember. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I've been too fast. What's Freddy kitchens like? Because I've only seen him like on mic'd up on the sidelines where they just give me 10 seconds of Freddy.

It's like Baker making fun of him and like joking around with each other. Yeah. Yeah. Freddy's very interesting. You know, he went to school in Alabama. So he has that, you know, at accident, everything. So he's, uh, he's definitely a character. Do you guys call him thick? That was his nickname. Do you call any guy thick? Yeah. That was his nickname. Do you call any guy thick? Yes. Have you called someone thick before? Yes. I have. All right. Well, you have. That's, that's great for you. I've never called a man thick before. I'm sorry. Bruce Arians gave him that nickname. I mean, thick. Are you saying that Bruce Arians isn't isn't a football guy? I mean, I had nothing to do with Bruce Arians. You just said you called

some a man thick. Hey, look at it. Watch him walk away. If you know what I'm saying, you'll hate to see me go, but you'll love to watch. Let's play. Let's play a fun game called Over Under. Let's do it. Over Under 12 and a half wins for the Browns next year. Over. Wow. So David Nijoku has guaranteed at least 13 wins for the Cleveland Browns next year. Do you expect me to say under guaranteed over under 12 touchdown passes for catches for you? I'm saying over for everything. Wow. Okay. Over under 14 touchdown passes for you. What? Yeah. Like me, me throwing touchdown passes. Yeah. Have you ever thrown? Oh, wow. I have never, I have never thrown one touchdown pass in the NFL. So to say over to that would be just, you know, downright. You don't

have confidence. I just, I just don't throw football. I catch them instead. Yeah. Not with that attitude. You don't. I mean, yeah, I don't throw football. Right. Not with that attitude. You don't do either. I mean, I could, I know you can't put my mind to it. You can't power of the mind. I doubt it. I need to be hit. I'm doubting you right now. Yeah, I don't like that. What you want to do about it? I'm going to prove you wrong. You're like, you know what, you just made the hater list. Oh, oh, thanks haters. Uh huh. Baker has a hater list. Oh yeah. Have you ever seen it? Nope. He's got a burn book. He's like a mean girl from eighth grade. He keeps a list of every journalist that talks shit about him. So does he know, huh? Yeah, but do you know we're on. Man,

I want a hater list. Give me a hater list. Give me one. Here you go. Who's going to be on the top? Todd Haley. Better not be me. Okay. He's got his hater list and the first number one is going. I'll think about it. I'll think about it. I'll think about it. Who's a better, who's a better passer? Odell Beckham or Jarvis Landry? They've both got a cannon or David and Joker. Well, I've only seen Jarvis throw in person. So I can't really speak on that. You know what I mean? I have to see Odell throw first. Okay. I've watched tape on Odell. He's got a cannon too. He's a better quarterback than Eli was last year. Yeah. Statistically. True. That actually is true. What's great for them. 100% true. Yeah. Where do you

live in Cleveland? At the nine. Probably going to move soon though. Okay. All right. Everyone just mark that down. Probably going to move soon. Cleveland's actually a really nice city. I like it. It's cool. Yeah. It's cool. It's getting like up there. Yeah. And now that LeBron's gone, other people can actually shine because he was just, he was just hogging it all. He's the goat though. You know, you gotta give it to him. Come on. Did you have you met him? Being in Cleveland, he was the goat. Have you met him? I have. Yeah. Did you talk to him? Did you drink wine with him? I didn't drink wine with him. No. So you're not released from him? No, so I didn't drink wine like that. You're not enabling him. That's actually good. Yeah. Do you

think that Joe Thomas was the reason that the Browns weren't good for so long and then he retired and you guys got good? What kind of question is that? He was a pro bowler every single year. I'm looking at his wins, at his offensive tackle wins. And I mean, statistically not that great. And then he leaves and you guys, you know, you have a great season. You position yourselves as, you know, the best offense, I think, in the AFC. Can you see me right now? I mean, I'm black and you're wearing sunglasses. It's like double, double whammy. You know what I mean? Like you said it. He was a pro bowler every year. That's individual statistics. Yes. Yeah. I don't think that's why we lost though. You know, that's, that makes no sense. But now you are

thinking about it. You are thinking about it. No, I'm not. You just thought about it because you had to say, I'm not thinking about it. Yeah. Here's the real question. All kinds of turned around, man. Here's a real serious question. I'm off the haters list. You never put me on the haters list. Wait, cross me out. Are you gonna cross me out? Yeah, I'll cross you out the hot haters list. That was the quickest. Man, you would have been in trouble too if you were on the haters list. That would have been, you don't know what I do with haters. I don't care about no matter what. Once he's hashtag done with you, it's over. It's a wrap. Who do you think that Gronk is the goat? Yes, Gronk. I'm kind of upset he retired. I wish, I wish he stayed one more

year because we were playing the Patriots this year over in Boston. I wanted to see him. I wanted to trade yours with him. I wanted to beat them, but you know. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. So you guys are probably going to get a lot of prime time games this year. Are you scared of the dark? Am I scared of the dark? I mean, you're clearly not. You're wearing sunglasses and it's we're inside. I'm ready to go. We've talked to people who I got night vision. Yeah, I see. It actually trains me at night. I can see how many fingers I can see better. Uh, two, three. No, wrong. It was three, two, three. Did you, do you like playing night games more than, than, uh, Sunday afternoon games? I don't really mind. I mean, night game is prime time. So,

you know, it's more exciting. You get the juices falling. Yeah. You got, you got to go right up into the camera when you're stretching. That's how you make a name for yourself. I will just be like, just for you. It's Thursday night. It's Dan, Dan, just Monday night. That's how you get it. But that's how you get known. You walk up and you're just like, nothing like Monday night football. And then they'll definitely put it on the broadcast because you're basically plugging their product. And then everyone will say, wow, you should, you should be, this is, you want me to be your marketing guy. Yeah. Yeah. You got the juice. I've got it for you. I got it for you. Do a little slide in video before you guys do Sunday night football. You know, Chris

Collegeworth does a slide in. Do you watch like, do you watch Sunday night football if you're not playing? Yeah. Yeah. Do you like the slide in when Collegeworth, he sees all Michaels and just kind of like wedges his butt in and he's like, Hey, hey, Al. Love it. Yeah. Um, great. All right. I got one final question. It's a C key question. Put in promo code take. You go see, uh, the Browns play next year. $10 off your first ticket purchase. C key promo code take. How much money did Miami pay you to play that? They paid me $0. What? Dude, you got a raw deal. I know, man. Cause they usually pay everyone. Well, not me. I wish me, but not me. That is tough. That is that kind of awkward being like, like when you see like Michael Irving, you're like, I mean, I didn't. I mean,

I got paid now. So how, how can I hate? True. Are you big? Are you think Manny Diaz got it? Oh, yeah. You got the juice. That was weird. I'm excited for that. Like how fast it kind of ended there. I mean, it happens, you know, it's life. Life happens. Did you play with him? Play for him for a year? He did. For two years? For one year. One year. One year. How'd you like him as a coach? Good. Good, good coach. Yeah. Who recruited you? For Miami, Denafrio. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. Miami, the U is back. Maybe. I think it is. I think it is. I think it's back. It was, it went away for like a week and now it's back. Yeah. Well, Manny Diaz definitely has it. When Manny left. So how was that like 24 hours? It was like two days. Two days. Two days. Two days. When you played that

Notre Dame game two years ago. Oh, I was there. That was the, is the U back game. That was hype. And then everything else after that was like, you lost the pit or something. Whatever, man, whatever, man. Did you guys know the whole time that Brax and Barrios was going to get drafted by the Patriots? I mean, I could have told you that. Yeah. I could have for sure told you that. I definitely saw that come in. I mean, that was, and I'm really happy for him. He got a ring. I was actually, I called him yesterday. He's in California right now. Okay. Nice. Did you ever get an invite onto the RV with Baker and Brogan? I did. Tyrod. I did. Yeah. What was that? What went down on the RV? Nothing. Just hanging out. Guys hanging out, calling each other. Boys, boys,

being boys. You know what I mean? Just like this. Is it Tyrod or Tyrod? It's Tyrod. Okay. It was weird how everybody, like he just, he just came out and told everybody this year that we've all been mispronouncing this whole time. Yeah. Just Tyrod. He finally had enough. Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah. I would too. I would too. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. All right. That's all I got. This has been fun. Dan. Off the hater list. Oh, yeah. Off the hater list. Friends now. We're going to be coming out to maybe a Browns game this year. Baker's our guy. So like, we're best friends with him. We don't have his phone number or anything. I actually spoke to him today because he had trouble with an airline. I told him I'd skull fuck the airline for him. So how'd you talk to him? I

DM'd him on Twitter. Okay. Okay. Did you respond? Yeah, he did with an emoji. Good. Good. Which emoji? Oh, really? Yeah. That's that's the emoji you use when you just don't want to talk to him. Yeah, right. Very much. Very much. It was, you can feel the connection. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You feel that bond. Yeah, I feel that. I feel that. Love it. Make sure to look at me when I walk out of the room. You'll be impressed. I'm probably not going to do that. Sean, go back and forth. Yeah. All right. Thanks, man. My pleasure, man. That interview with David Unjoko was brought to you by Postmates. Other than your absolute best friends, who could you ask to bring you red wine at 4pm?

Sheesh. I just asked LeBron. He's probably got it on him anyways. Who could you ask to bring a sushi at 9pm and a breakfast burrito at 8am? Well, Postmates, that's who I've actually, I use Postmates twice on Sunday. That's what kind of a Sunday it was for me. Used it twice before I even came into the studio. It's a great service. I love it. It's your personal food delivery, grocery delivery, whatever you can think of delivery service all year round. No more trips to the store. You don't even have to know where the store is. Postmates will deliver anything to you. Download the app for iOS or Android for free. Browse local restaurants and businesses and track your delivery 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

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First up, we have an uh, you think? Mike Tomlin is going to get help with challenges. Uh, you think? No doi. And why we say that? He's 32 and 39 in his career and challenges, but here's the fact that is simply incredible. You ready for this? Yeah. Mike Tomlin, head coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers, has lost every single challenge he has thrown in the last two seasons. Holy shit. He has not won a single challenge in two years. That's very tough to do. That's insane. I love coaches that throw challenges on plays that make out, they might be right, but they make absolutely no sense of challenge like for a yard. Yeah. Or yeah, they throw it just to get another look at it. Yeah. But yeah, Tomlin is historically bad. It's like him, Lovey Smith, I remember

being pretty frustrating, but that's impressive to miss two full seasons. It's impressive, so Mike Tomlin's going to have help with the challenges. Who says the Steelers can't change? Look at them making all kinds of changes. Instead of firing coaches, they just keep adding new ones into the mix to just be near Mike Tomlin. Hopefully one of them will change it. Try to get them. Oh, breaking moves. That's a healthy cow. That's a healthy cow. Healthy. You guys sitting down? Yeah. I mean, you're looking. We're literally, we've set the entire podcast. Oklahoma and Clemson are going to be doing a home and home series. Oh, that's huge. For football.

Starting in 2035 and 36. Okay. So book your hotel rooms now. Fuck. For your future kids, might be playing in that game. If my kid's a prodigy. Long snap. CB 16, playing in that game. Long snapping. For Clemson is going to be little cat. I love these fucking, you know, these series that they threw out there. Dude, 2035? Yeah. That's not real. You better believe it's real. That is, we, we have to have just ridiculous like technology at that point. I don't even want to be watching football games. I want to have cameras, virtual reality that puts me in the helmet of the quarterback. There's going to be another stoop. It's like a younger generation of stoop's coaching for Oklahoma by that time. Or does Saban have any children? No.

Saban. Yes, he does. He does. Yeah. So he'll probably have someone. No, Saban will actually be like, no, no, Saban will be a robot that will be Saban's like, you say Alabama. No, Oklahoma and Clemson. Same thing. Saban will still be there. I was going to say Saban is like a lion, like an alpha lion. He will not tolerate male heirs to his throne around him. He'll just rather put him down. That will be the 17th consecutive year that Lincoln Riley is the hottest name to possibly jump to the NFL. Yeah. And he'll be getting a raise. So that's how many, that's 16 raises from now. Yes. For Lincoln Riley. And zero national titles. And it's going to be Hunter Renfro Senior. Because his defense always sucks in Hunter Renfro. Yes, exactly. That breaking

moves was brought to you by Chalkamilk. Okay. A real recovery that tastes real good. Thank you, Hank. That was great. You're welcome. Thank you. All right. Next up, we have, thank you, Henry. You're welcome. We're just having a thank you off. Yeah. Thank you. So far, Hank is more thankful. Thank you. That's true. Henry, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Oh, Big Cat just took the lead. You're welcome. Okay. Big Cat wins. Wow. I won the thank you off. Yeah. All right. Mike Greenberg's dumb rules. This comes from a very random place. It is Eminem, your favorite rapper, probably not your favorite rapper, because people who listen to the show don't even remember that Eminem was a rapper.

Marshall, I bet you if we polled our audience, there'd be like 10%. You mean the guy that was super high with Kirk Herb Street, that Michigan game? I think most people know him in him. But the GIF lives on. So the GIF... He needs to get a new GIF out there at some point. I know. I know. Just over GIF himself. Maybe just walking like a straight line of sobriety tests. I'm fine. Look, I'm totally fine. All right. So Eminem tweeted, dear the AAF, please entertain this thought regarding the AAF Iron, AAF Express game, allowing the players to actually fight would be key to league success like hockey. I would watch every game, even though there's no Detroit team yet. Hint, don't blow it sincerely, Marshall.

This is actually the first way that he put it. His original quote was, hi kids, do you like violence? Do you want to see Trent Reznor Richardson stick nine-inch nails under Johnny Football's eyelids? I think he's got a good idea, but they should like reverse hockey it. So they should, the players should have, the referees should have gloves, boxing gloves or MMA gloves that they keep on their waist. So if the players like pick up the gloves, then they can fight, take their helmets off and let them fight. Ooh. What about instead of gloves? Every ref has a steel chair attached to their back and you just can rip it off and boom it's on. Like wrestling? Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay with

that. Maybe we get a ladder at midfield, a ladder match. Ladder matches are the coolest matches in the world. Yeah. I mean, I think we're probably more likely to see that type of thing happen, the XFL giving that their boss is Vince McMahon. But I'm totally fine with two guys fighting if it's consensual. Yes, they have to both agree. So maybe that's what it is. It's like there's a notarized public, a notary sits there and he has a little desk that just goes behind the action. And if two guys want to fight, they have to both come up, present two forms of government ID, sign a form, sign a waiver, piss into a cop, piss into a cop, send it to Nevada, take a picture, check it. Yeah. Do the eyeball retina scan and then they can fight. Okay. Yeah.

I mean, fighting would be, it would absolutely give the AAF a little edge. It's also very funny that like it's a dumb idea, but it's brilliant. I think no one ever thought of it. Like, why don't I just let them fight? I don't think there's anything dumb about it. I think it's a great idea. Just let them fight. Yeah. Let the boys fight. Let them fight. It also was all caps. So you know he's serious. All right. Next up, we have an embrace debate. You have this PFT. What do you got? Yeah. Embrace debate. This is a hot debate. It springs up once every four or five years, but it's making the rounds again. And I was intrigued by it. What color are tennis balls? So now you might think that's a dumb question. I already know the answer to it. No, they're green.

Hank? Green. You think they're yellow. So here, interesting. Can I Google it? 52% of people say that tennis balls are green. 42% say that they're yellow. So I'm like a genius mind. No, you're 42%. I don't go with the sheep. Yeah, I'd rather be. 6% say other. What would that be? I guess dogs. Dogs. It's probably dogs. Yeah, dogs. They love tennis balls. They're colorblind. Yeah, they're probably green. Wait, you guys think green? Yeah, they're green. Yeah, they're probably green. They're definitely green. I'm looking at, I haven't seen a tennis ball in a very long time. Yeah, I can tell. Yeah. You do a lot of work with tennis balls? Yeah. It's a good exercise. Just run it, just throw it off the wall. Yeah, chase it. I actually want to get into handball.

Handball would be great. Have you ever seen someone that's like sick, nasty on the handball courts? I want to play stickball this year. Yeah, maybe like we go to like the Sandlot. Yeah, we go to the Bronx and play like on a dilapidated street. I don't think they actually play stickball anyway. We can bring it back. Well, put on our Newsy's hats. Yeah, exactly. They play stick lax. Yeah, maybe Rob like an old man. Yeah, use guys' quarters. Want to play some stickball. Go buy ourselves a chocolate milk and a coke and a bottle. Yeah, just have a great, great little Saturday afternoon. If it's too hot, we'll open up the fire hydrant. It does sound like a little take a little bath. Yeah, and then we can steal a shopping cart filled with groceries and try to

wheel it down a subway like the stairs and accidentally lose control of it. Yes, and then kill someone. Yeah. Yeah, that's a movie. It's a movie. Hank, it's a movie. What is that? Sleepers? Bronx Tale, I think. Yeah, sleepers. Yeah, sleepers. Yeah. All right, last up before we get to guys on chicks, thoughts and prayers. Stephen A. Smith, what kind of animal was it? A turkey vulture. A turkey vulture flew directly into his window at his office in Bristol and put a huge hole in like the like completely shattered the glass and essentially was trying to take Stephen A. Smith out. Oh, yeah. This turkey vulture had bad intentions. You could see there were no breaks before it went in the window. It just flew directly. It was actually accelerating. Yep.

When it went through, just like very scary scene out of Bristol. Very scary scene. And the vulture survived. It did. Which makes me terrified of turkey vultures now. Makes me terrified for Stephen A. Smith. Yeah, someone's out to get him. Here's where was John Skipper this morning? Skipper's guys new network. What about Skizzone's? The skip was on TV. Isn't that convenient? Ah, why everyone could see him. Yeah, so he had an alibi. By the way, Stephen A. Smith used the turkey vulture news. He was like, Hey, look, I almost died even though I don't think he's even in. I think he does most of the shows out of New York. I think he's just got a room with a camera in it. That's just his life. It's a booty cam. Yeah, he's actually not a camera.

It's it's it's like a computer that says booty cam. That's just people skyping to him. He's a cam girl. Yeah, he's he's looked at so many cam girls that he's become one. Yes. And so he just dials into whoever wants to debate him. But he used forever the forever the entertainer Stephen A. Smith said, Hey, look, I almost got taken out by a turkey vulture. So I got some good will going on the internet. People are like, Damn, we almost lost Stephen A. Smith. So he then used it for one of his hottest takes of all time. Did you see this one? He said today about Iso what the hell is wrong with y'all? What is wrong with y'all? You can't yell at a player now. I don't even know what movement to blame this on. Is this me to his fault, John? Or whose fault is it? I don't know.

What the hell is wrong with y'all? I don't know how he got from point A to point B with this. But God bless him. Yeah, I'm really glad that he wasn't killed by the turkey vulture. Right. We just need more than anything. We need protection on Stephen A. Smith at all times because someone's out to get him. Like give Berman protection to just in case. Yes. Like I can't handle either one of those guys getting taken out. No, but I just like the idea of Stephen A. Smith just like going throughout his regular day, stubs his toe. Damn me too. Like, you know, like maybe maybe his, like his car, his car, like the heated seats don't work properly. Fucking me too got me again. Blame it everything on. Yeah, it's either me to his fault or a bird's fault. Yes. One of the two.

One of the two. All right, let's wrap up guys on chick. Oh, you would you have? No, I was just going to talk more about turkey vultures. I learned a lot of facts. Oh, yeah. Give it to us. No, then I just realized no, I'd rather do guys on chicks. No, give us one turkey vulture fact. Uh, they're vultures. They're not turkey. Okay, so they don't really look anything like turkeys. I was hoping for a more majestic bird with some plumage. Where are they found other than Connecticut? Yeah, inside Stephen A. Smith's office. That's it. Yeah. Okay. They're native turkey vultures. Yes, they're indemn to Stephen A. Smith. They got booties. Yeah. They could probably stay actually like thoughts and prayers to that bird because if Stephen A. Smith had been in the room, he probably

would have fucked it. Yes. I mean, you got to ask what the turkey vulture does in provocation. Yeah, the turkey vulture crashed through my window looking all sexy like that with that big fat ass. You know that it wasn't a skinny ass turkey vulture that was breaking a window by nature. Hell no. All right, Hank, guys on chicks. Hey boys, especially big cat and future LeBron Lockwood. Six months ago, I started to secretly listen to PMT because I wanted to understand what my boyfriend and AWL and his friends, also AWLs, were talking about. Disclaimer, I am not one of those girls who can't throw a football, doesn't fill out March Madness brackets or falls asleep on the couch during Monday night football. It just felt like he and his friends

were speaking in a code and I was sick feeling clueless. I was stuck feeling clueless. I think is what she was going for. About two weeks into listening, I was finally able to crack their code. And about two months in, I began to realize that all my boyfriend's one-liners that I thought were so funny and original or 99.9% poach from your podcast. That's okay. My question is, are all guys unoriginal or is it just a dozen AWLs I interact with? No, we all are. Listen, everything that I've said has been said by somebody significantly smarter than me. It's all one song. It is all one song. Here's what you do to get back at them though. You ready for this? You buy BarstoolGold.com slash PMT and you get the jokes that he doesn't even know about yet.

We'll start putting in extra jokes. Extra jokes that only you will know about. Only you will know about, but yeah. No, I think this is actually a smart move by him. You found out too much. You are basically Jason Bourne now. You run for your life. You know too much. What's up boys, especially soon to be new pussy owner Hank. Yes. A couple of days ago, I caught my boyfriend peeing in the sink telling me it's a little friendly. So the next day, I decided to do the same thing. He caught me squatting over the sink and peeing and started yelling at me, calling me disgusting. Is he in the wrong by yelling at me when I'm trying to be eco-friendly too? I think his problem with it was most likely that your ass has to be in the

sink when you do it. Yeah, when you squat it looks like you're taking a shit. Yeah, so he wasn't sure. Maybe he thought it was just a miscommunication. He thought you were shitting in the sink. Right. Just let him know like, hey, I only farted while I peed in the sink. I didn't poop. Hey, this is just a number one. Yeah. Don't worry. I'll save the brown stuff for the toilet. Yeah, tell him that. Yeah, grab me a beer. He'll love that. I still don't understand how my IUD works. It's been two years and no answer from y'all. What is IUD? Please advise. Yeah, we know you don't know what an IUD is, big cat. Is it the thing people, is it a thing in Iraq? No, that's an IUD. Okay. They very similar,

but it's just something that's in the uterus that makes you not have a baby. Got it. So what was the question again? It's a female condom. I don't understand how my IUD works. Yeah. So it's just a piece of metal. It's like a tuning fork. Oh, metal? Yeah. It's like, yeah. So can they not go through metal detectors? No, you can't, actually. You can't fly if you have an IUD. He also interferes with the pilots. Yeah. But yeah, Hank, it's not in the vagina. Don't worry. You're not going to stab yourself. I saw the very worried look on your face. It just, doctors don't, here's the thing. Doctors actually don't know how an IUD works. Oh, okay. They just know that it does. That's perfect. That's good enough for me.

Did you guys, unrelated, but you talked about the instruments in an airplane, did you guys used to think when you were a kid, like when I had my Game Boy, when they told you to turn it off, that it was because my Game Boy could control the plane? Okay, good. I always, I always still keep it on, just hoping that somehow. Yeah. I was like, yeah, if I hit up right now, we're just not going to land. Remember airplane mode? Yeah. Remember what suckers we were for using that? God, there's nothing worse when you get yelled at for that. It's like, what's the purpose? There is none. There is none. We don't, that planes that are another thing,

we don't actually understand how planes fly. No, we just thrust. Yeah, you just pray and thrust and you thank God afterwards. Hey boys. What up? Sup? I just spontaneously burst into tears at work after reading someone I've never met having a baby. Is this a normal bodily reaction for a woman in her early thirties? Yeah, time for you to have a baby. Yep. That's what it means. That's you actually are pregnant. You should probably go get it checked out. Yeah, you should probably stop drinking. Well, you don't have to stop drinking. You can sell the glass of wine. That's a myth. Yeah, have a glass of wine. Is that it? Yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, no, there's more. That's not a question. Oh, got it. One more. We'll do one more. Okay. Hey guys,

especially dad cat and soon to be cat daddy. Friday was my birthday and my boyfriend told me he couldn't go out to dinner because the games were on. He offered to order a pizza to my apartment, but he couldn't come. What is an acceptable way to get back at him for this? That's awesome. That's such a fucking great move. Be like, Hey, I'll just get you a pizza. See, the best part about that is like, we've all been in that spot and that actually in our dumb caveman brains is actually a super nice thing. Like, yo, I'll get your pizza extra pepperoni, baby. Like, don't worry, I'm going to go without with the boys. I'm going to get you your favorite pizza place. Yep. It's going to be sick. It's a classic move of giving you the gift that we wish

that we had for ourselves. Like you'll enjoy this. Yeah, I don't know. This is a tough move for him. You know what? He sounds like a nice guy, actually. Yeah. Now that I think about it, very nice. His heart's in the right place. He's just dumb ass. Like all of us. Congratulations, by the way, on your future birthday gift of a vacuum cleaner. Yeah, that's going to be great. He really means it. One time I almost did that to a girl. No, no, but the thing was it was, it was a Roomba. So it was going to be like a sick one. It was going to be really nice. It was going to be like 450 bucks. Yes. And then I was approaching the cashier and I was like, you know what? This is, this is terrible. I didn't even know why it felt wrong. I just knew that it did.

And so I put it back in the later on. I put the pieces together. I was like, yeah, okay, dodged the bullet on that one. Really dumb. All right. That's our show. Friday, we have 76ers owner Michael Rubin on the podcast. That should be a very fun one. We'll also tape after the game. So we'll have March Madness recap and we'll see everyone on Friday. Love you guys. I don't know why I have to say, I have to say it anyway. Today is another day to find you. I'm shining away. I'll be coming for your love, okay. It's part of my chain presented by the bomb stool sports.