Pardon My Take - Coach Jim McElwain, Remembering John Madden & Week 17 Picks

Episode Date: December 29, 2021

We lost a legend on Tuesday. Remembering John Madden and his impact on the game of Football and our lives as Football Fans(00:02:14-00:13:25). The Arizona Bowl got cancelled, we're sad. Monday Night Football recap(00:13:25-00:31:44). Hot Seat/Cool Throne(00:32:58-00:52:20). Central Michigan Head Coach Jim McElwain joins the show to talk about football, coaching,and not fucking a shark(00:52:42-01:21:23). Guys on chicks and Week 17 picks to wrap up 2021(01:23:15-02:03:37).You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we are back in studio, different studio, all together, minus Hank. We're going to talk some Monday football. We're going to talk about the passing of a legend, all-time football guy, John Madden. We have Hot Seat Cool Throne.

We have guys on chicks. The Arizona Bowl got canceled, whatever. That sucks. And we're also going to do the weekend preview, because this will be our last show of 2021 without Hank. I should mention that. He's not here. That's okay.

He said that he's not here because Bill's fans, he needed a personal day after what the Bill's fans were doing to him. Hank's taking a week off of social media, too, I believe. Yes. Yes. So, but we have a great show, long show. You have to work on Friday. We'll give you a spot to stop.

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Okay, let's go. Welcome to part of my take presented by Tostitos, the official chip and dip of the NFL. Today is Monday, December 29th, and we start with the passing of, we were saying this beforehand, probably the number one football guy of all time, John Madden. He passed away at the age of 85. Right before we got into studio tonight, we figured we had to start the show with him. For newer football fans, they think of Madden the video game. For us, PFT, I think we both think of Madden as the broadcaster and the video game.

And then, of course, he was a Hall of Fame coach as well, winning a Super Bowl with the Raiders. Highest winning percentage of any head coach with 100 wins, I think. It's crazy to think about a guy like John Madden, and I actually missed the documentary. I think it's going to be streaming, I think January 3rd is what I read. Oh, I'm going to watch this shit out. Yeah, so it came out on Christmas Day. I heard that it was incredible.

I missed it. I'm going to watch it. Everyone should watch it. Maybe we'll do a review of it. But it is crazy to think of, like, if you did a list of people who had an impact on football and football fans in America, I think John Madden might be one because maybe even sports. Maybe sports because he had his career as a coach and then as a broadcaster, like, the thing that made John Madden different and the thing that made John Madden so great was,

and I think that we try to do this in our everyday life, in our jobs, is if you're having fun doing something, the audience knows. And if you like and enjoy something, it comes across on TV and in your ears where you're like, this guy loves his job, he loves football, and he was the first broadcaster to really show that love. I think the best thing that you can say about a guy is that the gift that John Madden had and the gift that he gave people was that he loved something so much and so purely that he made other people love it too.

And that it was, like, truly infectious love. Listening to him talk about football made you love football more. Even if you weren't a football fan, and it transcends sports sometimes, but I kind of feel that way just about anybody that's super passionate about anything. They make you love something and they show you the way that they love it. And with John Madden, the gift that he gave the world is that he made other people love football just because of how much he loved it. And in life, if you can do that, you've made the world a better place.

Yeah. The two broadcasters, like when I was a kid, watching sports, being like, oh my God, look how much fun they're having. It's John Madden and Dicky V. It's those two guys where it's like they watch the game and they make you feel like you're part of the experience and you're having fun with them. And John Madden and Pat Summerall, they were the crew. Like they were football. They were Sunday afternoons.

They were like everything that you could think of when you close your eyes for an entire generation. What does football look like? What does football sound like? It's John Madden and Pat Summerall. And then what does football sound like? It sounds like this. It sounds like boom.

Yeah. That's right. And it's illustrator and everything. If somebody uses the word boom, then you're talking about football. That's code for let's talk about football. And we're going to date ourselves a little bit here. But then you then you move on to the video game, which is probably the most important. No, it actually no, it's definitely the most important sports video game ever created

except to pass and cone. Yeah. Yeah. But and then like the first 10, whatever, 12 years of it, he was the cover. I can I can see it in my head him coming out of I think it's coming out of a wall to on the first cover. And I remember, you know, like maybe Madden 96 or seven on N64 when you could adjust every player rating on your team. So you just made your entire defensive line, 500 pounds and 99 across the board.

And I would get like, I think there was one season where I had 900 sacks. Yeah, there is coming out of like a play, a play sheet. And it's just he brought football to an entire new generation with video games. And like I loved the man, the ambulance coming on, like all the the nations of Madden, we're lucky enough that we got to see basically the birth of of the Madden football game and it followed along. And yeah, you get to a point where you're probably aged out of it,

but it still is the iconic game. I still have moments where I'm like, you know what I really want to do right now? I want to play some Madden like you just think of it always. And there was a great thread. I'm going to read some Madden quotes because let's go. Lay it on me. He just just reading these quotes to myself. It makes me smile. The dude was such an awesome personality.

He was very funny, too. He was self deprecating, which is like there's so many people that take themselves too seriously, especially in media. I saw a report. I think Richard Dyche did an interview with where it was a report of Chris Collinsworth and Al Michaels having dinner with Madden 2012 and being like, we really want you to come out of retirement to call one more game as a special, like a guest appearance for a week.

And John Madden was like, no, because I know the work that goes into doing a single game. I know how much work it is to keep up with the NFL, to keep up with the sport on a week to week basis. Everything changes and I don't have the ego that would make me want to get back in the booth to prove to everybody I still have it. And like that's so rare. Yes, yes. Who's undoubtedly reached the peak of their career to also not have the ego

and to be aware of the fact that, hey, it's not as simple as just coming, you know, into the booth for a weekend, although I'm sure he still would have killed it. Oh, absolutely. Awesome. Absolutely. So here's some here's some quotes. Jay Adonde pulled some of these up and this is John Madden talking about football. When you win as a coach, you get to be a genius. But if you look at it, you're a guy that was a PE major in college.

Your best class was recess and then you put then you become a coach. When you win some games, you're a genius. You go from being good at recess to a genius. That's great. That's awesome. He would say cheap and available. You never want that as your nickname. He said, there's great bodies and there's good bodies and there's average bodies every once in a while.

You come across a bad body when he was watching a game. In fact, there's the pork chop one in there. The pork chop ones in here. Anyone from Houston, Texas, you're going to be tough. There's two rules in life. You can always be late. This is actually my maybe my favorite John Madden quote ever. There's two rules in life.

You can always be late because you were watching Monday Night Football and the World Series as a kid. You can always watch those two things and it's OK. That is my so true. Yes, that's so true. This is just perfect about dogs. There's no dog that has more fun than a golden retriever. That's that's also just a fact.

And then the pork chop one, whatever happened to nicknames, it's great to have a game where the tackle is nicknamed pork chop. I mean, that's perfect. That's that's absolutely true. And maybe my other favorite one was when they were doing a preview for cops, you know, they would always do that. And next week or following the game on Fox, we're going to watch cops. And Pat, somewhere I would do the murder she wrote.

Exactly. Yeah. So John Madden said the thing about cops is when you're watching that show, there's always a guy with his shirt off and that's always the guy that did it. It's perfect. He I mean, he's truly one in a billion. I'm certain that John Madden is in heaven right now. Oh, yeah. If heaven exists, John Madden is definitely up there. Just he he he loved people.

Yes, he loved people. He loved football. He he basically made Thanksgiving like a bigger holiday than it. Like he made popular popularized Thanksgiving, eating football, all of it. He also like the the coolest thing John Madden did was he just drove everywhere in a bus, never got on a plane. The famous quote is I'm not afraid of dying. I'm I'm not afraid of flying. I'm just afraid I'll die.

So it's like and he just he drove a bus everywhere. I think that's why he quit coaching, too. He was sick of flying everywhere, gave him such bad anxiety. He's like, you know what? I'm going to retire from coaching and then the rest of my life. I'm just going to be like the global ambassador for football. Yeah. And I always I would always remember like he wouldn't go to the Pro Bowl because it was in Hawaii.

He's like, well, yeah, he's not going to go there. I think I think we need to do something for John Madden. When I say we don't mean as a podcast, maybe we'll name the football. Well, Mike Tomlin called him the football man. Well, Billy, Billy said that we should name America after him, just United States of Madden, which I kind of liked. That's not bad. I think that's actually perfect. They should actually name.

I'm trying to think of what trophies in the NFL don't have a name. The MVP trophy. They could name that after John Madden. The problem is they're going to they have the year. Yeah, coach of the year. Yeah, why not? I just I think what they should have a name. He was you should absolutely. He was always known for for the All Madden team, too,

where we just get like the tough, the toughest, grittiest guy out there. They should just pick the toughest, grittiest player. The NFL should give an award to that guy and call it the All Madden Award. They should actually get rid of the MVP because the MVP and the Heisman are have become totally irrelevant at this point because it's just the quarterback on the best team and just make the MVP, the Madden Award, and everyone is actually like eligible or a second MVP.

The Madden valuable player like Nick does it. Yeah, that would work as well. But yeah, all time legend. All time. I actually do think that they should make a new award for him. Yeah, I don't think they should slap his name on something. I don't think that that's the proper. I'm in the Super Bowl after they should name. Yeah, they should John Madden Super Bowl.

They should name football after Madden. They should just call it the NFL Madden. Like you guys going to watch Madden on Sunday? Yeah, right. Or like the actual football. Like look at that. Look at how he handles the Madden. Yeah. Well, that's the Duke. Yeah, I know they should just make it the Madden.

I don't know who the Duke was. Like, you know, I'd say one of the biggest issues that Trevor Lawrence has is he's careless with the Madden. That works. Yeah, we got to do something big for him. Roger Goodell, this is this will go down defining. Yeah, Roger Goodell's legacy. Yes. How you how you figure out a way to properly

honor the football God that was John Madden. I was going to say Tom Brady deflates his Maddens, but tanks not here. You can't say that. And I can't say that without Hank being here. He's not here because he said, I think his quote was, Hey, guys, I'm going to take today off because Bill's fans were so mean to me. Yeah. No, actually, he's not here because he's the travel. Let's let's segue to the next.

So John Madden, all time legend. If you don't, if you're too young to know the impact he had. Well, here's the thing. If you're too young to know, to remember John Madden calling games and being on the face of video games, you don't realize how much impact he had on your life with like just before you became a football fan. You became a football fan because of John Madden without even realizing it. So do watch. I think I read January 3rd.

It's going to be streaming everywhere. Do watch it. We will do a documentary review all time, all time. Tough year for Frank Calliando between Groot and now this someone tweeted was like, you got to get Frank Calliando on tomorrow's show. I was like, I don't think he's probably. Yeah, Frank's probably going to hang that one up for a while. But so we are the reason why we're well, we're all back because the Arizona Bowl got canceled. You probably saw Hank is not here because his plan was to go

to Arizona from where he was. We were going to tape the show originally on Wednesday. We decided, let's do it on Tuesday because we can maybe take a little bit of a break. So that's why he's not here. It's not actually the Bill's fans, although I think they did get get to him. It was very convenient. Yeah, they did get to him, but that's why he's not here. Arizona Bowl got canceled, fucking sucks.

With that said, I would recommend everyone, if you can figure out a way to have a plan to jump out of an airplane in a public manner and have that canceled 48 hours beforehand, thrill of a lifetime. That I had quite the 2021 with canceled plans between this and my root canal because I obviously really I was very upset that the game got canceled. We had so many people doing so much work behind the scenes for so long. Even that fuck had all business Pete shout out him can't even come. But. Not having a job out of the plane was awesome.

That's that's a nice consolation. It really is. I'm pretty pumped because I hadn't learned higher. We were going to play higher. Yes, Scott Stapp. Yes, freed. He was going to play with with us in Pup Punk, and he likes to play in a very certain I think he tunes it down like a half step when he does it live. I had not practiced it at all.

I think I learned the basics of it about a month and a half ago. Hadn't played it again. We were thinking about actually preemptively canceling that because we're like he's probably going to sing it at halftime soon. We don't want to spoil the big surprise. Well, this is future us problem that it was too late in the game. So because we're going to still do it. We still have the Arizona Bowl.

We still have another two years of rights, I believe. So you're still going to do it with Scott Stapp. I'm still going to jump out of an airplane. This is the ultimate. We'll just handle this in a year from now. I'd also like to say that I'm very, very happy for for Central Michigan. Yeah, good for them. They they got paid by the Sun Bowl.

I think they're getting like three million dollars to get in that game. Good for them. No animosity. It sucks that that COVID has fucked everything up. But I think that the like a lot of people are talking about what we saw with the UCLA game and the NC State game where NC State saying like, oh, they they backed out. They voted as a team to not play. I don't know if that's true or not.

But most of the like we're so far behind what even the CDC is saying right now in college football. And I think the reason for that is because of the threat of lawsuits. Right. There are a bunch of people out there, the people that run the bowl games, that run the stadiums and shit. They're terrified of the fact that one person gets sick and then they get sued for all that they're worth after the fact.

I don't think it's up to the players and it's not up to the coaches to decide like, do you or do you not want to play? Obviously, Boise State wanted to play. The chips wanted to play. It sucks. It just sucks. It's out of our hands. It sucks. Shout out to losers, which there are many who rooted like basically for our bowl game to get canceled because they hate Barstool, essentially saying,

fuck those kids that work really hard and have like a bowl game that they all like Jake and I were on the call with the coaches. The coaches like all of our players are so excited to be in this game. This is going to be a lot of fun. That gets ruined for them. But, you know, who cares? The people online who want to be like, ha, ha, you guys deserved it. That's pretty cool.

I just want a critical piece of this shit. I just want to show those people the face of a boy that you've tremendously upset and ruined his week. Yes, it's Jake Marsh. He is. Look at that. Mars is going to be on the call with Dave and I. Can we show Jake Marsh? I do feel the worst for you doing play by play. He had already put in 90 percent of the prep work, which knowing Jake was probably

he probably spent the last month and a half just like staring at rosters, playing the media guide, pronunciations of their name. Jake, what was the toughest name that you learn how to pronounce? Actually, one of Boise State's biggest players on defense, K. Calla, Canejo. Oh my God. That was that was like, honey. I was ready in Central Michigan. I mean, Pimpleton is a little bit fun. That's a fun name.

Lou Nichols is great. Yeah, I'm not sure. But it's not about me. It's about the players feel bad for Boise State seniors. Yeah, it sucks. It really does suck. Like, and I know there's a lot of people who say bowl games don't matter. They actually do matter from a football standpoint more than people realize,

because if you're in a bowl game, you get an extra like three weeks of practice that can help you for next year, that can help, you know, underclassmen progress and get a shot, especially if there's other people opting out. So it does matter from a team standpoint, and it's a cool experience. Like a lot of these kids at Boise and Central Michigan aren't going to be playing in the NFL. They got a chance to play on a game that would have been a cool platform. The first ever Barstool Sports Bowl, the whole thing sucks.

But you're right. PFT like Central Michigan, that Jim McElwain, who's on the show today, great interview coming up. He had a really nice note. Like they they end up like they had to do what they did because they get more money than they would have gotten because Sun Bowls on CBS. It's how the business works. People are trying to own us for that fact.

It's like no shit a game that's on CBS can pay more than a game that's on Barstool and Facebook and YouTube. We were good for them. Yeah, like we're trying to build something. Of course, that's how it works. I'm bummed that it got canceled, but I'm not like there's no animosity whatsoever. No, and the Mac gets shy. It was the correct decision.

I'm glad that they got it. I'm I'm interested to see how this plays out, especially when it comes to the college football playoff because they put out those rules about what's going to happen in the event of positive tests. I don't know if they're going to change any of that going forward. But I will say that the rules as written right now heavily favor Michigan. And most importantly, they favor Harbaugh, they favor Jim Harbaugh.

Why? Because I guarantee Jim Harbaugh is going to have his players like isolated. And they're going to be in like competition coffins where they get fed their meals, like just coming through straws through the door. Harbaugh is not going to you're going to like lock his players up in rooms and be like, you're not interacting with anybody. This is we have a greater purpose to serve. There's no greater enemy foreign or domestic than the coronavirus. See, I think it's Michigan's the only team

that actually has a chance of of of like losing out on this. No, because we'll know. I mean, the SEC does whatever they want. They've done whatever they want from the beginning. They Georgia and Alabama, they changed their rules like on the fly. Bill O'Brien is already back at practice. Cincinnati, this is the biggest SEC's choice. No, no, they they basically have they they brought back Bill O'Brien

like out of nowhere. I'm pretty sure they made the SEC change their rules. But when it comes to players, I don't think that they just leave that up to the teams because I think Michigan's the most at risk just because of knowing Michigan's like athletic department and the Big 10 and Kevin War and all that shit that has gone into the entire last few years. I think it's it's going to be left up to the NCAA. It's going to be up to the no. Because the charge of the testing and no, because the the college football

playoff, they're just going to be like ESPN. They're going to be like, hey, Nick Saban, we found a stack of 20 binax test is test down at Walgreens. I'm just going to trust that you give your guys a test and report back test the real figures. Yeah, I don't think that's how it works. I'm pretty sure that the the look it up, Jake, I'm pretty sure the SEC has like some some rules that basically are like, we're going to get to the to the college football finals, no matter what.

We'll see how that plays out. But I guarantee that Harbaugh is like he is treating this like his war. We know that he can't stop reading like nonfiction books about World War Two. This is this is Harbaugh's greater purpose to he was born for a moment like this. Yeah, I mean, Nick Saban, too. Yeah, but I'm Harbaugh is I have faith in Harbaugh. I'm so OK. OK. All right. Monday Night Football.

Oh, I guess we could do predictions for the SEC for the final four in college football. I've wavered. There's been times where I've been like, oh, maybe since that he will give Bama a game. I think we're just on a collision course for Bama, Georgia again. That's what it looks like to me. But it feels like I think I'm I think I'm going to take Michigan and Alabama. I I want to believe that Michigan is going to win. So I'm really going with my I'm going with my heart, not my gut on that one.

So Michigan and then Alabama. Yeah, it's yeah, fuck. I'm excited for the games. I hope there's no blowouts. I hope we there always is, but especially when it's New Year's Eve, it's like they put basically your entire happiness on New Year's Eve into hopefully these games are competitive and when they're not, it fucking sucks. All right.

Monday Night Football. Well, we had a lot of people that got mad at us for not talking about Thursday Night Football. We never talked about Thursday Night Football on Saturday Night shows. No. But there were a lot of Titans fans out there being like, why are you ducking us? Yes. So we should at least acknowledge the fact that the Titans won on Thursday night. They did. And they also won in very Titans fashion, where they were down in the first half. Evacated, if no one can play.

No, if no one can play. But I'm pretty sure the SEC has been playing by different COVID rules the entire time. They have, right. But this is not an SEC game. No, but I think they they still have jurisdiction over, like they don't. I don't think so. I don't think it's conference by conference. I'm like 99 percent sure that it's not conference by these rules are by the College Football Playoff Management.

Yeah, that's not the NCAA. Yeah, College Football Management Committee, whatever. The they're going to just make sure they play the overlords are in charge of all this. They'll just make sure they play. Oh, they're going to play. But yeah, I'm just saying, like I trust I feel like Harbaugh is locked in on this one. So, yeah, Titans won. There you go. Titans won. Congratulations. Yeah, Titans fans are very ornery. Jimmy Garoppolo get very upset.

Whatever finger. It's been the year of the finger. Yeah. Jimmy Garoppolo had maybe the worst performance of any quarterback that had kind of a decent stat line, at least at half time. I think it was like 14 for 18 at half time. But all of his all of his misses were either interceptions or should have been interceptions. Yeah. And then we didn't even bring up the John Lynch liking a tweet at Christmas Mass, which was all time.

I think that's actually just he just took a playbook out of Rico Bosco's playbook because it's it's Rico goes to church. Well, whatever bad things happen, he does. Yeah. And he basically was like, hey, everyone talking about me liking this tweet, saying that Jimmy Garoppolo is bad. Just so you know, I'm in church right now with my family on Christmas Eve. Yeah. Well, I mean, shut up if John Lynch thought that that was a good excuse. He's also saying, yeah, I was just scrolling Twitter.

Yeah. I was just I was checking my ads. Also, it's totally believable because Jimmy Garoppolo had a terrible game. Very bad. He has been playing well. But he that was a game that the Niners should have won. And Jimmy Garoppolo like that was I don't know who said it, but it was basically the Colts and the Niners are the same team. Their Spider-Man meme where it's like their roster is really good. They have a ton of really talented players.

You just hold your breath that Carson Wentz or Jimmy G won't do something crazy. Yeah, Jimmy. And they both have played well this year at times. Who is it? Was it was a Harrison Ford, the guy that he's crashed like four planes? Yes. Yeah, he can't stop yet. So when you say that that Jimmy Garoppolo going 14 for 18 is a good thing. That's like saying like Harrison Ford has completed 14 out of his 18 flights. Because when it goes bad, it goes bad. It goes real bad. It was real bad.

But speaking of good quarterback play to a I don't like what Lewis Riddick said. He said possible possible franchise quarterback, but the Dolphins are now they've done the impossible. They've lost seven games in a row. They won the first game, lost seven games in a row, won seven games in a row. An insane season. They're eight and seven. They control their own destiny. Jake like what's your dolphin fever at right now?

It's nice. I'll be honest. I was kind of bummed out yesterday. So I wasn't because I wasn't focused too much on it. By the way, I should correct myself. Kikala Kaniho, cornerback, not linebacker. Oh, wow. I would have made that. OK, so you would have that. It's a good thing we got.

Can't we dash the bullet here? Everything happens for a reason. Disaster. Getting ahead of it. I would have written a letter like it and mailed it. Yeah. But no, it's crazy that they're in this position. They kind of did the same thing a few years ago with Tannehill and Adam Gase. Right. They weren't like eight in a row or something like that. 10 wins or something.

Yeah, they got the playoffs. No, they got the playoffs last year. Was that the game in Pittsburgh? Yes. When Matt Moore got fucking smoked. Yeah, it was just candy ass uniforms in the cold. Yeah, they start like one in five and they made the playoffs. It's crazy. I mean, the Dolphins are I don't know if they're good because they have played. No one.

No. And the hilarious list list of quarterbacks. They've won. Very, very funny. They've won. They have won. And then they got to add Ian Book, which like I did enjoy that it became just an indictment on Notre Dame. All the stats were flying. It was 24 games in a row that a Notre Dame quarterback has lost in the NFL. Last time a Notre Dame quarterback won a start was Brady Quinn in like 2012, I think.

And then there was also the stat that the last time a Notre Dame player attempted a pass in the playoffs was 2006. And it was actually the punter for the Colts because the blocking got fucked up and he just tried to shovel the ball. So it was a 16 yard loss. And that was the last time a Notre Dame player attempted a pass in the playoffs. And you had Ian Book being the first ever Ian to start a game of quarterback. So I didn't know that about Ian.

I would have thought that I would have thought that actually another that tracks because Ian is 100 percent like a moxie backup quarterback name or not a story reporter or reporter wanted to and bubble point this out to me about Ian Book, like we all we all know in book. Remember, he started like infinity games at Notre Dame. He lost the eye black. Yeah, that's that's where he went wrong. He used to be the biggest eye black guy in college football when he played. And then he's going to play a game and like under the bright lights of Monday Night

football and you come out there like just raw dog in the sun. Should have played portals that you should have put the portals in. And actually, so it's funny, like Ian Book's performance is so bad. It didn't really look like he was playing football or he looked like a good athlete that has has been convinced to try out to play football. Be like, hey, you're going to look like Greg Paulus. If Greg Paulus made it to the NFL and he was so bad that he's actually the reason why the NFL said, OK, you know what?

We got to we got to change the rules. It's the Ian Book rule. Yes. It's like, OK, we it's reached rock bottom. We have to change everything because we can't have another performance like this. It's like basically the same thing as Kenny Pickett's charge. The slide that got immediately revoked right after Roger Goodell saw his performance was like, let's just not test anymore. Yeah, because this is this is worse than coronavirus. And also Alvin Kamara, I've never seen someone just not want to be there

more than he did on Monday night. I don't blame him. No. Because Ian Book, like basically every single play was the same. He would look through his progressions, not see anything or throw a pick six for a touchdown. And then at the very last second, he would dump it off to Kamara, who already had a linebacker, like going full speed at him. And he was just like, fuck this, dude. Like there was there was one specifically where he dumped it off to Kamara.

I think it was a third in like eight. And Kamara was three yards behind the line of scrimmage and he dumped it off to him and Kamara just got fucking smoked. It was like, why did you do that, dude? Why would you throw that to me? I don't want the ball. There was the other play in his playbook where he would just drop back and immediately sprint to the right and run out of bounds as he was throwing the ball. Yeah. And that ball would usually land out of bounds or in a defender's hands

at the same time. It was it was tough watching and fuck Drew Brees. Fuck Drew Brees for for sending that smarmy ass text back when they're like, please, Drew, can you please come back and play for us again? He's like, no, I'm out here golfing. Guess what, Drew? You ever think it's about somebody besides yourself? Would have been nice. Your sons, not your daughter, your sons, because we would have liked to watch some actual football and Monday Night Football. Fuck Drew Brees. He should have done that. He's selfish.

Yeah, selfish for not coming back and making America experience the Ian Book game because it wasn't even entertaining bad. It was just I zoned out in about the third quarter. I was like, I will not. I'm waterboarding myself by watching this. You know what I'll say what Ian Book did, though? He gave us good perspective. How hard it is to play quarterback because he in book was a good college

football quarterback and it looks like he had never played quarterback. Yeah, that's how hard it is to play in the NFL. Like it was they should have put in Blake. It really did look like you're you watching like has this guy ever played football before? No, he was a really good quarterback at Notre Dame, and he got drafted by the Saints. And who knows, maybe with enough time, like he just wasn't ready. I don't know. I'm not going to I'm not going to judge

in book, not going to judge a book by its cover just from that game. But it was bad. It was very, very bad. It is bad. I'm boycotting Drew Brees, though. I'm not going to watch his picks on Sunday Night Football. Nice. I'm not. I'm going to turn. I'm going to turn away from the TV like fans used to do for the opening acts of Metallica when they go out on tour. I'm not going to watch Drew Brees.

Fuck Drew Brees for making me watch that. Also, they should have put in Blake Bortles. Yep. Are you telling me that that Blake couldn't have gone out there and done any better? Also, he definitely could have. I think Blake would have at least he would have been cool to watch. He would have had a good time. He also had a really good looking beard. He's done a really good job with his beard manicure,

where it almost looks like if he didn't have his hat on, he'd have hair. He looks good in black, too. Yeah, he does look good in black. Slimming. Very good. Yep. Yeah. So that was Monday Night Football. We are now careening towards week 17, where it feels like everything's going to get decided. We will do our picks after Jim McElwain.

Everyone's texted their picks to Meme, so we'll get into all that. Let's do Hot Seat Cool Throne. Then we'll get to Jim McElwain. PFC, you had a quick word from one of our sponsors. Yeah. Before we get to Hot Seat Cool Throne, I want to talk to you guys about Pepsi. We love Pepsi. I'm always drinking Pepsi. Pepsi is delicious.

It's what I drink when I'm watching football. And this year, we're highlighting one team's trash plays to throw out. And another team's great plays to recycle into next week with Pepsi's trash talk sustainability platform. So let's talk it out for trash. I'm going to throw out. I'm going to throw out the Dallas Cowboys running up the score against the Washington football team.

I think that was classless. They're trash. The Cowboys are trash. They're actually very good. But I'm still I'm so bitter about that because it's I got roasted. I put up a tweet online. I showed the jacket that I was wearing, but I walked into his sheets on Monday morning and the guy at the cash register started holding his nose

and be like, something stinks in here. What's rotten? And then he goes, oh, wait, it's just your jacket. And he just owned me in front of the entire gas station. It was a great own. It was a solid burn. But I have I have to deal with that from Dallas fans for for the next year now, which is great. But so I'm going to say the Dallas Cowboys

trashing that whole classless performance for something to recycle. You know what I really like? I like the I like the waddle. I like the waddle waddle when waddle scores a touchdown. He does the cute little waddle. That was the best part of the game. Billy, you look like you have something to say. I love the waddle. It was so cute.

Zach Wilson's play Zach Wilson, quarterback rush and Jets history. That's pretty awesome. OK, let's recycle that one, too. Yeah, run that back next week. Do it, Zach Wilson. Would you say again, the Jets are low key lit, low key electric, low key electric. Yeah, so this is brought to you by Pepsi's trash talks, the same ability platform. Know the difference, make a difference, be a team player and recycle. All right, hot seat, cool throne, Hank's thought here.

Anyone from the booth, Bubba, do you have one or TJ or memes? Three man booth right now. Negative. OK, all right, PFT, let's start with you. OK, my hot seat is statistics. And probability because Josh Allen has won 13 out of 16 coin tosses this season. That's that's wild. Wow. That's not just that's not coincidence.

No, I don't know if he's sticking with tails or if he's going back and forth, switching back and forth between head getting head as well as the tails. But he's he's on a fucking run right now and he's nine straight. He's hit nine straight in a row. Oh, I actually found this tweet. The probability of hitting nine straight is point one nine five three. So Josh Allen is defying all the stats nerds, probably the same losers that were like, don't draft Josh Allen are the same ones

that will tell you that it hits 50 percent of time. I love it. Tails. According to this empirical evidence, Tails hits 13 out of 16 times. So take that to the bank. That's that's dominant. That's a dominant performance. That's a franchise quarterback. I also heard that if you flick a penny,

if you like you spin a penny, not flip it up in the air, but if you spin it by flicking it on a table, it falls down head side up eight. I think 80 percent of the time because a new penny. It's like it's heavier on the tail end. Oh, shit, we should cut this. So we should cut that and then win a lot of money from hustle on people. We should hustle Hank. Oh, he won't listen to this show.

And then my cool throne is the Minnesota Vikings. The Vikings on the cool throne because they brought in my guy, Kyle Slaughter, Kyle Slaughter, the best preseason quarterback that you've ever seen has not gotten a chance to start a game in the NFL. And he's he's literally good. Kyle Slaughter is literally good in preseason in preseason. And he's also like my little pet project because I feel like I'm the only one that's going to stand on the table for Kyle Slaughter.

No one gives him any shine. He's got a bad rap. He's gotten bad luck. He gets signed release, signed release. Just start Kyle Slaughter, Minnesota. And it's weird because I think Manion is the backup to Kirk Cousins, right? And Manion is he's in the COVID protocol. Kirk Cousins was probably hanging out around Manion.

So they got they got Slaughter. They put him on the active roster immediately for Sunday. I feel like we might be getting some Slaughter this Sunday. I think so, too. Slaughter boat. I think so, too. All aboard. All right. My hot seat is Future Me, which we talked about because we canceled all those plans and it was a thrill in the moment to not have to jump out of a plane.

But this is going to I'm sure this is going to end badly. Like I think I think there's just a rule in life that if you have anything like a flight cancellation or like a weird happenstance delay, then you hop on the next one or you are supposed to jump out of a plane today and you're going to do it in a year from now, I will die. I will die in a year or like I would have. You might be on a plane where you have to know how to jump out of it like a plane that's about to crash.

Yeah. And they hand you a parachute. And they're like, all right, big cat. Do you want to do it once? But yeah, they're like, do you know how to do this? And you're like, oh, fuck, I forgot. It's been a while. Yeah. But it doesn't feel like just the odds. Like I probably I probably will die next year.

Well, I probably would have been fine tomorrow or today. No, no, 2022. Everything's different once the year changes. It has crossed my mind, though, that that's one of those things you just you attempt to fate when you do when you cancel a plan like that. Something's going to happen bad next year. I think you can always have another year. To worry about you can do the Mark Wahlberg and be like, you know, that flight, it actually would have gone down.

Yeah, I didn't get on it. I didn't get on it. And then my cool thrown is Antonio Brown, because we talked about it on Sunday, but he is being framed by the media. I don't know if you guys saw, but someone compiled an entire list of things that he's done. Yeah. I'll just read off some of it because this is it's crazy how much the media has made up stuff about Antonio Brown to try to get him to be seen as a bad guy.

So what we're going to do right now is we're going to read all the things that the media has made up about. Right. Right. OK, so these are things media has made up that he might have done. Kicked out of Florida International University after fighting a security guard. Don't touch me. I'm the franchise. He said he's second year in the league. He took a personal stretch limo to a charity event, had them open every single expensive bottle of wine, rejected it, refused to pay for it.

Charity and then left through Fitz over, not getting enough targets, drove 100 miles an hour down McKnight Road in Pittsburgh, which has a 45 mile per hour speed limit. I like how they just threw in what the speed limit. Yeah, yeah. Like it would have mattered if it was a 60 mile an hour speed limit. Killed a home aquarium full of piranhas and refused to pay the man who installed the tank. OK, piranhas are man eating fish. Yeah, this sounds like he saved some life. This was definitely written by a Steelers fan because refused to play week 17

for the Steelers who could forget. I do remember that. You remember he had the big coat on. Yeah, yeah. And didn't Mike Tomlin be like, I want that's the first time that he said I want volunteers not hostage. Yeah, yeah. So I think it takes two to tango there. Died his mustache blonde. Yeah, we talked about that.

Refused to pay a chef because he thought he threatened him by placing a fish head in the freezer. The fish head was saved to make a soup. I love the fact that Tony Brown's opening up his freezer and he sees a fish. Motherfucker's out to get me. He thinks that he's in the godfather. Yeah, farted on a doctor. OK, you're allowed to do that. Doctors get farted all the time. I disagree. They're they're a health care professor.

They specialize in the human body. This was definitely because he's done some real stuff, but this is definitely still you. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, that's that's go back to the farted on a doctor one. Yeah, that's HIPAA. Yeah, it is. It's on tape. Unless he's. Oh, that's also it is actually a video farting on the doctor. It's HIPAA to retweet that.

Did he lift his leg? If you lift your leg, I think it's a crime. If you don't, then it's just it could plausible deniability that it just happened. But if you do the leg lift, like here he goes. I'm going to fart on you. That's fucked up. Well, what kind of doctor was it? That matters if proctologists far away.

They need to be able to tell if you're healthy. Yeah, that's true. Demanded a trade from the Steelers. That's again, a stealer. It's pretty bad. Yeah. Became Mr. Big Chest. I think that's a positive. I think this this list is actually proving Antonio Brown's point.

Yes, he killed a lot of piranhas. If by the worst thing that you've said has been that he killed a bunch of piranhas probably the same fish that his chef was leaving frozen in his freezer. Some of these are also signed with Patriots moved in with Tom Brady. And then the next one is the sexual assault allegations came out. That seems like more serious than signed with the Patriots moved in with Tom Brady. Died his mustache. We've ever made this list.

They didn't really prioritize actual things. OK, a couple of bad things. Antonio Brown's done. One, he requested a trade. Two, he raped a chick. Yeah, three, three. He died his mustache blonde. So you decide which one's bad guy.

Yeah, bad guy. Yeah, this list is all over the place, threatened the woman, not suing him in a group tax included his lawyer and had a picture of her kids attacks. That was bad. I remember that that way. He is a bad guy for that shit. There's some bad things he's done. But I think this list actually proves his point that when they try to get him

for farting on a doctor, yeah, the media is run amok. He also remember the video when he got released from the Raiders? Yeah, that was an all timer. And this, yeah, I think this actually now threw a bag of gummy candy dicks at the cops in a video he posted. I forgot about that. Got dropped by his agent. Oh, man, that's tough.

Well, actually, if you're all over the place, if you're the best wide receiver in the NFL and drew Rosenhaus is like, I can't work with you. Yeah, that's probably the biggest indictment. Wait, here's another one. Rumors spread about AB signing with Tampa or Seattle. Yeah. And he did eventually get to Tampa. He got he got trade bills for four hours.

Born lover list of all time where they just didn't. They buried like the actual sexual assault and all this like actual bad stuff to past like the soup, the guy making soup with the fish head. All right, so Antonio Brown. He also he called Mike Mayak a cracker. Yeah, he did. Yes, he did. He tried to fight Mike Mayak. Yeah, that should be on here.

We got a madden covered. Madden 19. He was. Wow. Oh, called out Robert Kraft for his rub and tug session in Florida. That is quite a crime. That's the real crime. I wish Hank was here to defend that.

Started training for a boxing match with Logan Paul. That's cool. Also, this is his wife NFL fans are the best like that dude, the Cowboys guy who brings a puppet to the game. Like NFL fans are just they've all lost their minds. And I consider myself like in that lost their mind crew where this just tickles me to no end. Speaking of the Paul brothers,

did you see that that Jake Paul wants to play safety in the NFL? Yeah. And his whole explanation behind it is like, I guarantee you my ratings will be through the roof with the league. I would that's what we're going towards these days. It's just like the Paul brothers are just influencers getting to do whatever sport that they want. And then Logan Paul made a coffee table out of Gameboys and everyone flipped out.

They're like, how could you waste those Gameboys? Who the fuck is playing Gameboy? It's like that Gameboy came out 20 years ago. Does anyone like, man, I really wish I could find a Gameboy right now. Right. If it was Nintendo Switches, I'd be like, oh, come on, dude, give those to a kid for Christmas. Gameboy, if you gave a Gameboy to a kid, like a five year old kid right now

and like here, play Tetris, they'd throw that thing in your fucking face. They go. That's not a video game. They go to judge and be like, I need to be emancipated for my dad. Yeah. He's poor. Yeah. They'd be like, why are you making me go to school? Yeah. Like Tetris is basically school. I actually think that a coffee table made out of Gameboys is the perfect use for Gameboys. Yeah. That's awesome.

I love. Oh, man, I loved fucking Gameboy. I loved Gameboy. All right. Billy, you go. My hot seat is Dabbo Swinney for promo in the Cheez-It Bowl. They were posing in front of the trophy, you know, showing off their new team apparel and the Clemson team apparel just looks like a prison jumpsuit. Yeah. Orange prison jumpsuit.

It looks like a creamsicle when jumpsuit January goes bad. Exactly. Looks like a Cheez-It. So that's not January yet. It also makes you look more orange when you're wearing all orange. I've noticed that my original hot seat. But now is my cool throne is Big Cats Pinky. Yeah. Earlier today, we heard that Carson Wentz was going to be on the COVID list before the rule change.

This put Sam Ellinger as the noted starter for Sunday's game against the Raiders. Unfortunately, because of the NFL rule change, Sam Ellinger will not be starting, meaning that his historic Super Bowl run, which I was hoping was going to happen with Sam Ellinger, stepping in and taking the Colts to the next level to win the Super Bowl. I knew it was bad when they were on the bottom line, the crawl that was going across every channel. It was just calling him presumptive starter Sam Ellinger.

If it was if he was actually going to start, I feel like they just would have been like, Sam is going to start the game. But it was like, I guess I guess we're going to do the same elder thing. Yeah. I I've seen some people being like, you're not actually going to do it. First of all, it's a tip, my pinky. It's the nail up. Second of all, it's essentially like a tattoo. Like I'd have a story for the rest of my life. Why are you missing the nub of your?

Why do you have the tip of your pinky gone? Well, the Colts started 0 and 3 in 2021, and they won the Super Bowl. It will suck, but I will do it. There's a nail up. That's not they got to they got to raise your pinky, the tip of your pinky to the rafters. They're like, they have that. Yeah. That like AFC finalist. No, I'll I'll wear it as a necklace.

Fuck that. Put it in a little formaldehyde. There's a lot of guys like Jaws, right? And people. Yeah, people. People are too. Like if you see someone with a nub, you automatically like, oh, what happened, dude, you got to start shaking hands with your left hand. Yeah, it's not as cool as saying like, oh, I was, you know, manual labor. I got bit by a shark.

It's I'm a fucking idiot and I have shit for brains. And I didn't think Carson Wentz could ever win a Super Bowl. A little bit of a different story, but still a story. It's still not going to happen. I'm convinced that that the Colts, they're a nice team, but I don't see them getting past the second round. Here's what will make me really nervous is if the Titans somehow lose their last two games, the Colts win the AFC South.

If the Colts win the AFC South and get a home playoff game to start and they only have to Carson Wentz only has to win twice on the road to get to the Super Bowl, that will make me officially nervous. If they have to win three like right now, what would I think they would maybe play? I think there would be a pretty tough game to start the playoffs because they would be the wild card. So I that makes me feel a little bit better. Know right now that the five would be at Buffalo, which is what it was last.

Right. So I don't know. I mean, obviously they kicked the shit out of Buffalo at Buffalo, but having to go play at Buffalo then at KC like that's a lot. I'm talking myself into that not happening. I don't think I definitely it is the most nervous I've been since the original year where the Texans won nine in a row and got to the play. We also need to start having a conversation about realignment in the NFL. Like what what are the Colts doing in the South?

Yeah, but what are the Cowboys doing in the East? Yeah, why is they should they should replace any that want to get any Napa should go to the West and then Denver should be in the South. Yeah, the Bissonette. Yep. Divisions. All right. Billy, is that it? Also, Dana White, he challenged speaking to the Paul brothers.

He challenged Jake Paul to Jake Paul, called him a coke head. And Dana White said, I will exchange one random steroid test on you for 10 years of cocaine tests on me. Yeah, because he doesn't have hair that they can cut out. Also, that's how they test code. Right. Also, coke is out of your system like two days. Dana, Dana White is the smoothest man in the history of the planet. I don't think that he has any any follicles that you can check.

They're also so rich, they're doing drugs that you can't test for. Exactly. They've got the limitless pills. Yeah, exactly. I'm not worried about that. Jake, my hot seat is shot, Khan, the owner of the Jaguars. It was announced that they're keeping their GM and Jags fans are now changing their Twitter avatars to clown faces with Khan's mustache. It is. So we're Tony Khan is a friend of the program. I have seen a lot of the clown.

Uncle Chaps did that. He made his avatar a clown. I. The Jaguars and this goes for the Giants as well. I do not understand teams that don't flush it all out. Like if you if you're going to have your GM be kind of there, but also then you're going to hire a coach and like your GM, you're already nervous about or like the Giants have done or the bears are thinking about keeping pace, but firing Nagy.

Like if your team is an abject failure, just flush the fucking thing out. It's kind of like being alcoholic and saying I'm going to switch to beer. Yeah, because whiskey makes me fight and stab people. So just the loggers from now on, I'll be fine. You should clean house. Like the old Bill Parcells thing, change the carpets, change everything about the place, bring people in. But I will say that when it comes to when it comes to ownership,

I would I would commit murder to have Shad Khan be the owner of the football team instead of Dan Snyder. Like you can get a lot worse. I don't I don't think and to clarify, I would murder Dan Snyder. No one else. Right. But I don't think that it's fair to put this on Khan because yeah, maybe you should probably think about somebody else besides bulky because bulky is the guy that hired Urban Meyer.

Well, and also bulky is that was a spike pairing against Jim Harbaugh. It was Urban Meyer and bulky, bulky. Remember had a big falling out with Jim Harbaugh in San Francisco. So it felt like a big F you to him. It's falling apart. Jim Harbaugh is in the college football playoff. Maybe get rid of the spike. Maybe it's bad karma.

I go off. I would own a team off karma. Like I would definitely make moves like, hey, the karma is not working here. Like Michigan's gotten better and Urban Meyer and Ohio State and Trent bulky have gotten worse. We got to get something else going on here. Yeah, I I don't hate. I think that shotgun's fine. He's not the problem.

He's not the problem, Jacksonville. We'll see who they hire this time. They just need to figure out a way to to not blow it. The only way that they could make it as bad as Urban Meyer, if they try to do the same thing again, if they bring in, if they try to go after Dabo, then you're like, wait, you really haven't learned anything whatsoever. No, I think they're going to buyer and left, which would would make sense. Left, which I think Doug Peterson, like Doug Peterson would be great.

Yeah, he was a good coach for a long time in Philadelphia on a Super Bowl. It's got to watch the football team of the playoffs last year. It actually is crazy to like when you say Doug Peterson won a Super Bowl in Philly, like four years or five years ago, he just doesn't have a job right now. Yeah, it's a weird thing. And also Caldwell, Jim Caldwell, yeah, the guy took the lines of the playoffs twice, I think, and basically more. He's basically a wizard.

Yeah, Cal. Well, that's going to be funny because they're going to interview Kellen Moore and Dan Quinn and Dan Quinn. So they're going to go back to the hole like Gus Bradley. We're going to get a former Pete Carroll defense coordinator, Bald Head, Goatee. Got it. Dan Quinn's coming. Jerry Jones might fire Mike McCarthy before the end of the season, even if they're even if they're still in the playoffs, if the Jaguars tell Kellen

Moore, like we want to hire you right now to be your next head coach. Jerry Jones might be like, see you later, Mike. We're riding with Kellen from this point on. Yes, yes. All right, your cool throne. Cool throne is Squid Game. Looks like we're going to get two more seasons of that. I don't know if it'll hit the same like we saw with Tiger King.

They had second season. I haven't watched the first season. I have to still hear about it. So we'll see if it picks up track. Squid Game is it's good. It's a good it's a good program. I have it's on my list of things to watch after football season. Yeah, I just don't have time.

It hit during cuffing season. So that's why I think it's had that like Tiger King cult feel. Wait, what do you think cuffing season is? No, that's like Netflix and chill. It's getting cold. Yeah, but what do you think? When is cuffing season? That's not it starts to get cold.

October. No, didn't come out in September. Yeah, that's why I started to get cold. No, no, no. Couple season starts like right now. Football. Cuffing season starts when football season's over and guys are like, OK, I can pretend to be emotionally available till March Madness. Cuffing season begins on October last until just after Valentine's Day.

And when did I think that's too early for cuffing? It is. I've always wanted Squid Game. Come out. Squid Game was, I think it was September 17. There you go. But that's not when it got popular. Yes, it is. That's how it was immediately.

When it was cuffing season actually started. If it starts October 1st, that's wrong. It's an overnight sedition in October. October 1st is still summer. That's not cuffing. No, no, no. As far as I'm concerned, cuffing season starts January. I think cuffing season starts right about now,

like right between Thanksgiving and December and Christmas. The person you kiss on New Year's Eve leads to the cuff. Yeah. Yeah. And you maybe kiss them beforehand. You're really, that's when you kiss and you're like, that was magical. I actually want to know if you fucked them and now you kissed them. Is anybody out there, are you in a long term relationship or married

to a person that you kissed for the very first time? Oh, well, drop on New Year's Eve. That's magical. One day when I have kids, I'm going to tell them that's that was the first time your mom and I kissed. Absolutely. I'm just going to make up a lie. That absolutely has happened. And then every year, it's just as good as the first time.

Yep. Right on New Year's. OK, except for when there's college football playoffs that steal all of our New Year's. All right, let's get to Jim McElwain, coach of Central Michigan. Obviously, we taped this before the bowl game got canceled. So we're excited to talk about the matchup with Boise State and the Arizona Bowl. That will sound funny listening to,

but great interview with a big time football guy who's been in football for a very, very long time. OK, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is coach Jim McElwain, head coach of Central Michigan, fire up chips there in the Barstool Sports Arizona Bowl. We're going to run this the day before the bowl game. So tomorrow, tune in. It's going to be great.

Coach, very happy to have you on. Let's start with the bowl game. How are we feeling about the matchup with Boise? And are the are you excited, personally excited to be in the first ever Barstool Sports Arizona Bowl game? I got to tell you, when we when we got it announced to us, the energy in our team room, you know, we were having dinner and the kids, the coaches,

I mean, just to be part that look, we're all fans. I mean, we love what you guys do. And, you know, for us to be able to go out there and be a part of it, man, we're we're really excited. Yes, absolutely. I'm very, very pumped. Yeah, I love I love your team, by the way. I love watching Central Michigan. Daniel Richardson's I actually made a tweet

that was maybe not kind, because when he first came on to the scene, I was like, I love this short, fat quarterback. He's not fat. He told me he's not fat, but he just bombs it. He bombs it. And I love how he plays. You know what he he is to see his progress in the way he's come. And and like I said, you know, he delivers a ball and he's very catchable and he's got a great understanding of the game and handles the RPO game

as well as as as I see a guy do it. And you know, I'm just I'm proud of him and just to see his growth. And he's a great leader. So it's fun to have on this team. Yeah, we're excited to have you guys in this bowl game. It's going to be awesome. I was actually I was doing some research on you and by research, I mean, I looked at your Wikipedia page

and there was a very fun fact on there that I wanted to dive in with you real quick on. It says that you were roommates with Colin Coward when you were in college. Colin, yeah, is that true? Well, we weren't technically roommates. So we hung out at the same, you know, at the same time doing the same stuff. In fact, I didn't know whether he ever went to class because I mean, every day you'd go up to the gym rat, you know, playing shoot, playing basketball. I think he was in there every single hour that the place was open.

But no, we got to know each other. And obviously he's had an unbelievable career and and he's he's a lot of fun to listen to, too. Yeah. Do you ever recall him eating soup ever? Because he always talks about how much soup he eats. But I don't I don't actually think that he's a broth head. Well, I but at Eastern Washington, it probably wasn't about the soup as much as it was to get the cheap beer.

You know, I mean, that's kind of that. That was really our deal. Yes, yes, absolutely. So, you know, I think a lot of people remember you coaching at Florida because big time program Central Michigan, in my opinion, is also a big time program. But I want to talk about your time at Central Michigan. You inherited a one in 11 team and then the next year you turn them around. You get to the Mac championship, you win the Mac West.

Like, I know this sounds stupid, but how do you do that? Like, is it just culture? Is it, you know, because we see it all the time and it always impresses me guys who are able to come into a bad situation and get results almost instantly with not a huge change of roster and talent. Yeah, no, I, you know, I mean, it's a lot to do with who you surround yourself with. I've been fortunate at all our stops to have great staff, people, everybody on the same page.

And the most important thing is the kids know we really care about. And I think that's probably from day one, walking in here. Same thing we did at Colorado State, same thing we did at Florida was, you know, they've got to feel it. They've got to know that you're there for them. And I think probably a knock on me is I am a player's coach. I just love these kids. I love to see them be successful and do everything we can to help them.

So, but I think that was a big piece. And that was part of the buy-in when we got here. And and quite honestly, I think they were a little embarrassed, you know, from the year before, so credit those kids for stepping up and building the program into, you know, we've got a pretty good thing going on here. Yeah, when you say that you're a player's coach, do you have any unusual motivational tactics or do you do like a turnover chain type thing? Or dive into that a little bit?

You know, I haven't I haven't bought into that stuff. You know, I'm still trying to figure out how to use my iPhone. So, you know, all that kind of stuff I I'm not real big on. But I think the things that we do for them, you know, that that and we listen, you know, we I meet with everybody on the team, you know, four times a year, just one on one, just to get to know them, you know, and and find out about what makes them tick. And in the biggest piece there, I think is is listening, you know,

and and they know they can always walk in this office and I'll be here for them. And and that's kind of been every my career all along, you know. And, you know, you get into this business, you get in it for the kids and just to see them and now being in a thirty four, thirty five years, whatever it is now seeing kids, you coach, have kids, you know, and use some of the same phrases that you did when you were coaching them with their own kids. It's pretty awesome. OK, another spot you had in your coaching, like you said,

thirty five years was with Alabama under Nick Saban. And so I wanted to ask you this because it's a little different now. There seems like every every coach just goes through the wash in Alabama. You were there from the beginning and and Coach Saban said a couple of weeks ago that, you know, the fans were happy when they won a game at the beginning. Now they're not happy with winning SEC titles and being successful. Eleven wins every year. What was it like in the beginning at Alabama for a guy like Saban

to change that around and to turn that around? And like, what are the program recipes that he puts in to make them a monster? Well, I mean, start with, I mean, to look arguably the greatest ever in in what he does and what he's been able to do. I learned so much. His detail is incredible and he never sits the same. You know, it's always you're always doing something new. You're always getting better, right?

He's a firm believer in, you know, you can't stay the same, you're either getting better or getting worse, right? And for him and the program, what they did and allowed him to do from the get go, I think, is an administration in the university is they cut him loose, you know, and let him go do his job and, you know, that it's a testament to what he's been able to do. But I got to tell you, I learned so much from him and it was a very simple message he gave all of us was, look, all I want you to do is work

hard and be complete in what you do. You know, and if we all kind of did that, then we all have pretty good chance of being successful. Yeah. Did he ever chew you out like some of the famous, you know, Lane Kiffin, any of those moments where he gave it to you, maybe on the sideline or in practice? Well, I think they were probably more than a couple, but it usually had to do with, you know, maybe when we did some good things offensively against his

defense, you know, but no, he, he, and it was never, and if he ever does that, I mean, it's not personal, you know, I mean, that some guys, you know, like, you know, I'm getting at it. It's in probably well deserved, you know, when it does happen. But, you know, his competitive nature, man, he is one of the most competitive guys you'll ever be around. Yeah. It's like when you're up 40 to 14 against Tennessee in the fourth quarter and there's a false start and then he just rips into one of the coaches

on the sidelines. That's the stuff that we laugh at a little bit on TV because it's like, relax, man, you win by 30 points. You're going to, everything will be fine. But that's, I guess, what makes him such a great coach is he doesn't care and he just wants excellence, right? Well, and that's right. And it isn't, you know, it's about the personal performance and how you perform.

And, you know, I just got to tell you, man, he's a great guy to be around. He's actually a lot more fun than maybe comes across. And there are no surprises. I think that's what was great working with him. You know, there was never, you know, a surprise. You knew exactly the plan and what was next in, you know, I, I get a real kick out of how he, he balls, you know, with the game. I think you see it over and over again.

So, and, and he always has a plan to get the program better, whether it's in facilities, whether it's in, you know, mental conditioning coaches, whether it's in, you know, there's always something that that is new that he does and he's able to keep it fresh. Yeah. And you stopped by, by Michigan for a little bit with our friend, Coach Harbaugh, all-time football guy there. And we actually had Frank Gore on the show a couple of weeks ago and he was

talking to us about how when, when Coach Harbaugh was in San Francisco, he would still take some reps sometimes at quarterback. And so you're the wide receiver coach at Michigan. Did he ever get some like one-on-one work with your guys? He's like, let me see if the arm still got it. You know what? He would, and he can still sling it now. He, he, uh, he, every now and then he'll go out and he'll throw some routes

and, and do that kind of stuff. Uh, you talk about another really, really good dude. I mean, he is really a good dude. I got one last saving question. So the famous stat that we would see every single time he'd go up against the former assistant of his finally got broken this year when Jimbo beat him. Did you reach out to Jimbo and you're like, thanks, thank you. I appreciate that because I was sick of my name being up on the, on ESPN every

year, like three times a year, whenever he went up against an assistant and beat him. Yeah. You know, a, a, uh, the first time he beat us, uh, you know, I took a Colorado state team in there and, uh, I think we might've been a little overmatched. But, uh, um, no, I, I, I tell you what it is though. I think that's a really a credit to him, you know, to coach. And you look at the tree that he's produced, uh, pretty impressive, you

know, a lot of guys out there. Yeah. Yeah. Um, all right. So you spent some time with our good friend Caleb, uh, that video is going to be coming out probably the same time that this show comes out. Um, so could we talk about it? Because it sounds like you actually, I talked to Caleb, he says that you had

some good fun with it. And I think that we can finally put it to, to rest. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's the famous shark photo that was not Jim McElwain, but people accused him of being, it being Jim McElwain. It was basically like a message board run wild internet story. Now, when that happened, when you first saw it, was there a small part of you that was like, wait, is that me? You know, I mean, I, I actually was kind of like, wow, this guy does look like me.

And, uh, so, you know, to meet the actual person and to hear the story behind it, um, you know, it actually, it, so, you know, I grew up in Montana, you know, it's all about bus and guys' jobs. I mean, that's, that's what you do every day. And, uh, you know, I thought it was actually pretty hilarious myself. And then it started to take that life. And when, when Peter starts coming after your ass, right, you got to be a little careful.

Peter should have been happy with you. It looked like that person was having a great time with the shark. I, in a situation like that, I imagine it probably took a few minutes to have it truly sink into you, like exactly what was going on and why people were talking. That's not something that's in any media, you know, any media prep sheet, or you don't have any training on how to deal with a situation like that. It must have felt like it was a, just a weird dream that you were living in for a couple of days there.

Yeah. You know, the hard part was, was it isn't, you know, wasn't on me, you know, as much as, you know, my kids and my family, you know, my, you know, that kind of deal where, you know, they're having to answer questions like, you know, that, that I was that then I started scratching my head a little bit when it affects, you know, the people around you. Yeah. Well, and I think everyone should go watch the video because I talked to

Kale before we did this interview. And I think that you handled it perfectly. And it's like one of those things that, you know, when you can laugh at yourself and be like, this is ridiculous. And Caleb got the actual guy and, and reunited the two of you, which is an all time internet, like it's a perfect ending to an internet story. Sure. Absolutely.

You know, you get stuff like that. And I guess, you know, whatever, dead spin or whatever, you know, people like that, but when like mainstream media started to kind of get behind it, I was getting there going, now wait a minute. And you have to answer to it. Yes. It's like PFT said, it's not really, you don't learn that. Uh, I don't think any, any of your mentors at any point were like, all right,

well, if there's ever a picture of a guy humping a shark that looks like you, here's what you do. Here's the booklet. Yeah. There was no game plan on that at all. I feel like that might have been a Nick Saban special. He was just trying to get under your skin. He's like, I know, I know how I can deal with this guy.

That's exactly right. But, uh, no, I, I, I tell you what, it was a cool deal. And, you know, to meet the guy, cause I, you know, people had said, you know, that New York, you know, former cop and, you know, all that kind of stuff. And, and to actually meet him in person and take a picture with him, I was like, man, this is, this is pretty cool. Yeah. All right.

So I got to ask, uh, one other photo that, that I need an answer to, um, and you might not remember this one, but when you got hired at Florida and then they had you guys doing the SCC summer tour, you had one of the most hellacious sunburns I've ever seen on a person and everyone was like, I don't know. Does coach McElwain know the Florida sun is like pretty hot? It was, and you had like, it looked like you've been wearing sunglasses too. And that was an all timer. What happened there?

Obviously I spent too much time on the boat that day, right? Out in the lake at flathead. Uh, that was probably what I did, but, uh, that, that's like an every year occurrence for me, you know, you, you go ahead and fry yourself and then, you know, you, it all, it all comes back. Yeah. And I would imagine that's, I mean, being part of the SCC, both as an assistant and a head coach, like it's got to be, it's just different, right?

Like everything becomes a story. Every little thing that you do becomes this big media thing, uh, because people are so passionate about football and talking about it in the off season. And yet that's what's kind of cool about it. You know, I mean, yeah, there's, there's good and bad, but, but the one thing is the, the passion of the people in the South for, for the game of football. And, you know, playing in those stadiums, uh, they, they really care about their teams and you know, that, that's kind of, that's kind of the neat part

about being involved in it. And yet, you know, like I said, they'll, they'll take whatever and run with it. There's no doubt about it. Yeah. And now it seems like you found a good home, uh, in central Michigan. And I was reading that you now live in a barn and we actually have somebody that is close to the show who's a barn living enthusiast. I think he spent what, like a year in a barn.

Um, do you have any tips for anyone who's maybe, uh, thinking about becoming a barn dweller? Well, I'll tell you what, I think whoever, I'm all about it, man. This, this is really cool. I mean, what they did here and the purpose behind it is, you know, in recruiting, what's your point of difference? Well, for us, it's, it's selling our families and, and our togetherness. And this allows us a space now, bring recruits, bring the players, you know,

all that kind of stuff. And, uh, it's actually, it's really cool. Yeah. I'm glad we did it. I know that. I think my wife was scratching her head maybe a little bit when, Hey, this guy's going to build us a place to live in this barn. You know, and, uh, yet she did a great job of helping design it.

And, and, uh, it's a place we go after games. Obviously, uh, we've been very fortunate to win a lot of home games here. So, um, I think, I think my dog, when we have, she knows whether we won or not, you know, it's based on the people count. Yeah. I've been the barn. Yeah. So it sounds like it's a pretty nice barn as far as barns.

You're like doing the glamping, the glamour. You live the glamorous barn lifestyle. Is it, it's like fully decked out, nice little meeting space. It's not what you think of. Like there's no hay on the ground. No, no, no, no, no, not at all. It's, it's, it's, uh, it's a really cool place. And I'll say that.

And, uh, and, you know, when people come in and we're able to, you know, entertain and do things that way, you know, it's, it's, uh, it's a great spot for it. Um, so the, uh, I love to ask coaches and players what the hardest place to play is. And usually it's LSU at night or, you know, even the swamp or, or Columbus. I got to ask you, what's the hardest place to play in the Mac on a Tuesday night in November, because that's action to me. And there's not a lot of fans, maybe, you know, what it might, it might not be sold out, but what is the place that when you go, you're like, all right, we got this

circle, this one, it's going to be, it's going to be Harry. Yeah. You know, I have to say Western Michigan, um, you know, and that probably has to do with the rivalry and, and that kind of thing. And actually we played him, um, there was actually a pretty good crowd for a week night there, you know, on that, I think a lot of people came out. But, but that, that would be one of the places, but, uh, you know, I'd, you say about like, you know, tough places to play, I think one of the most underrated

places that's a tough place to play is actually at the university of Montana in Missoula. Ooh, yeah. Let me tell you something now. That, that place is 25,000 people every game and they are rabid and it is loud. The, the shit, it's that one, I think is a little unknown and been in all these other stadiums, but that's as loud a place as you'll ever play. I like that answer.

And you're Montana guy through and through. Have you watched Yellowstone? Yeah, I actually kind of started to because, uh, this latest one, they were doing season four, they filmed it in my hometown in Missoula, uh, a lot of the shots in fact, uh, the latest episode where they shoot the guys in the diner. That's Ruby's right down the road from where I lived. So, uh, so I kind of watch it for that. Yeah.

Who's your favorite character? I'm a, I'm a Beth guy. I like Beth. Yeah. I mean, she's, uh, she's a tough one, man, but I kind of like the ripped guy, man. I mean, he just kind of, he'll take, I like the guys that are kind of like they handle things, right? And no questions asked.

Yeah. That kind of guy, like, yeah, he's, he'll roll up on you with a cooler with a rattlesnake inside. That's pretty bad. Yeah. I haven't seen the show. So I'm just laughing along. Um, I actually have a lot of questions about the rattlesnake and like, does he

have a rattlesnake farm that he just goes to and needs to kill somebody? How long had it been in that cooler? Did he just find the rattlesnake on his way to kill the guy? And then he put in, he's like, I can use this. I got a lot of outstanding questions about the rattlesnake murder. I'm going to watch the show. I'm going to watch the show. It sounds like a good show.

Watch it for the scenery. Yeah. That really the reason probably I watch it more than anything is just cause it's seeing home. Yeah. Yeah. I grew up and so, you know, the plot and all that, whatever, but the rest of it, that's what makes it.

So I had two last questions. The first one was we love football guys on this show. We love guys that love football, but also find different ways to motivate their teams. You had a famous way when you went to central Michigan, uh, that you had a no dead fish policy that you said to quote you. You said, go ahead and walk by Kroger, take a look at the faces on those fish. If you come into the office like that, get the heck out. There are no dead fish.

I want guys with energy and excitement. So what, did you ever have to kick a dead fish out? Absolutely. I mean, you don't want them around. Right. I mean, it's like, and I tell them the story like Winnie the Pooh, right? Who wants to be around Eeyore? The guy just makes you miserable, right?

Look, life's way too short to be miserable. So, um, I, you know, the whole dead fish thing and this goes back, obviously, went to school, Eastern Washington, recruited a lot on the coast there in Seattle. When you see those guys throwing the fish, you know, that fish cross it by street market. And then you walk and you look at them and man, them fish are miserable, man. If you just think about it, they're dead and they got no energy. They're just dead and there's nothing worse than that. So what do you say to a guy if he's got dead fish energy?

Or are you just like, Hey, fix the two, come back and see me. You got to spark in your soul or what do you do? Well, thank God we're recruiting bigger players now. I can't lift them up and toss. You know, maybe I could have when we were first here. But, uh, no, it's, it's, it goes back to kind of like, Hey, what are you selling today? Right. And, you know, it's, we've got a policy here that when you enter the building, look,

all I'm asking for is this time, right? And, and let's, let's make the best of it. But most importantly, let's learn how we affect the people around us in a positive way. And that's really what it's all about. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So my last question, and this is more, not even a question.

Well, actually, you know, it is a question. So you, when you left Florida, like we said, the SEC is a tough place to coach. People come at you from all different angles. Yeah. I had a great time. Yeah. You know, I don't, no regrets. I mean, shoot, kid from Montana, having an opportunity to coach at a story place

like that, we've got great friends still from there. You know, just the disappointing things, you don't get an opportunity to finish it, you know, because we had some great recruiting classes and we were winning. So, but, you know, It's, yeah, the nature of the SEC, but I wanted to mention. So when you left, you sold your house and, and, you know, everyone made the joke because you sold it for a $400,000 loss. So everyone's like, Oh, another loss for Jim McElwain.

Turns out you did it because you were helping a family with two disabled children. So I kind of just want to mention that it's one of those stories. You know, we talk about all the other stuff. We, we make fun of coaches or we say something about a coach. And then we don't highlight the stuff that they do that maybe they're not doing for publicity because you didn't ask for publicity there. People busted you up about having, taking another loss, but you did it for a family. How did that all come, come about?

Well, we had met the family actually through their, you know, their time there. And they had been by the house a couple of times and, and, you know, they had mentioned that just kind of the way it was set up, you know, it was maybe a opportunity, you know, for the kids. And, and actually give one, you know, one of the son, maybe a little bit of freedom, you know, from that standpoint, just the way it was set up. And, and it just made too much sense, you know, and, you know, there again, it's, it's all about giving.

And that, that's kind of the way I was brought up. And that's what we've always done. So, you know, not really that big a deal. It was an easy decision, right? Because you knew it was going to go to somebody that needed it. Yeah. Great story. And I love it.

Yeah. It's great message. Coach, I've been talking to a few football coaches over the years, trying to spread the gospel of the planned downfield lateral, becoming more prevalent in football, college football and the NFL. Because I actually think that it could change the game. I think that a coach that can implement smart, planned out, almost rugby style pitches on certain plays, you know, like kind of, you see it from time to time

with a hook and ladder. But, but there are other ways that you can scheme open a receiver on a certain play to have a player taking an angle behind them, ready for the pitch. That's not just the normal hook and ladder. And I've started to see it a little bit more, at least in the NFL. You saw the Jets do it last week. The Chiefs have done it a few times. Is that something that you've ever considered putting into your playbook

if you do it in a smart way to kind of limit the, to mitigate the risk that might be coming forward with a turnover off of it? Yeah. You know, I mean, some of that stuff actually can even happen. Just kind of spur of the moment, you know, you'll see, you know, a guy getting tackled and it's buddy behind him and, you know, flip it to him too. The design piece, probably not something that I have really kind of thought

about from that standpoint. We obviously do the rugby part and a lot of our, we've got a couple of those in special teams, you know, that, that, that we use and we work on. And then a couple of last plays that we work on with the same thing. But as far as implementing it, you know, in your day-to-day playbook, it's actually not a bad idea. In fact, as soon as I get off, I'm going into the offensive staff room right now.

Let's go. I love it. Yes. Blue nickels to Pimpleton. Tell them. There you go. Yeah. Tell them, tell them, go pull up some, some clips of the Fijian rugby team

and watch how they offload the ball because the coach that figures out how to do it safely is going to change the game of football offensively. It's going to be every other coach is going to have to play catch up to that guy trying to figure out how they were able to implement it first. So, you know, baby steps in this, but I want to give you the opportunity to be a trailblazer. I love it. Baby steps.

One of the greatest, you know, what about Bob? Yes. One of the greatest ever. It really is. It really is. I'm Dr. Leo Marvin. Yeah. Baby steps.

Baby steps. All right. Well, coach, thank you so much. We'll see you in Arizona. We're very excited. I'm on the call. So I got to be unbiased, but I do love action. Let's just leave it at that. Well, I really appreciate you guys taking the time and just a total side note.

And I think I've said it, but I just want to reiterate it. What, what, what Bar still did during the COVID time and what they did to generate money for these bar owners and restaurant owners and, you know, people in need, um, to me, that was awesome. Yeah. And, uh, you know, hats off to you guys. It's company, man, because that's, that's pretty cool. Appreciate it.

We like to eat and drink. So it was an easy choice to pay those people back. Yes. Yes. There you go. Yes. All right, coach, safe flight to Arizona. We'll see you soon.

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Check it out. You can order on GoPuff or Amazon. OwensMixers.com. Okay, guys on chicks. What do you got? What are you laughing about? I'm just laughing at the video that Billy texted the group chat. Antonio Brown continuously farting in front of his doctor.

It just seemed childish to me. Dr. Prisk said, I'm a doctor and this man is farting in my face. It's Antonio Brown getting electric stimulation on his body, which is making his muscles twitch. I'm going to play that one again. It's pretty freaking low. Oh my God, that is on the list. That's on the list.

All right, guys on chicks. And we're going to do our weekend preview and picks, which the drive to LA is going to really come down to it. All right, TJ. Hey, go ahead. Guys, my boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. And we recently moved in together. Everything has been fine up until recently when he sent me a meme relating

to shitting on each other's chest. For the record, I think it was disgusting. While he said it was a joke recently, he's continued to bring it up, saying it would be so funny if he actually did it to me and will not let it go. I'm starting to think this is something he actually desires and I'm becoming increasingly uncomfortable sharing a bed with him. What's my next step? I think it's more of a red flag that he's sending memes to you.

Yeah, I feel like that's, you don't, you don't send memes to somebody that you're in a relationship with. Yeah, you steal the memes and then you verbally tell them to them when you're out to dinner. So you sound funny. Yeah. What do you say, Billy? You absolutely send memes to people.

Wait, you don't send me funny tweets and stuff. Yeah. And memes. Yeah. No, you send like videos of dogs that are having a great time playing. No, I think you send funny. I send funny stuff like tweets and shit and memes. Yeah.

I know you at no point, at no point should you like screenshot a meme of the guy being like one does, does not simply walk through Hodor or whatever the fuck that guy says and like send that. You don't send Willy Wonka's to somebody that, that you're not those memes, but there's funny like memes that you'll see on the internet. Not shitting on people. That one's weird, but I absolutely think you share funny things you find on the internet with your partner.

Absolutely. All day. I don't think I've ever, I never want to see the impact font come across my, my text thread. You're a meme. There's modern memes. Yeah, you're a meme hater. Yeah, you are.

You're living in the past with memes. We're defined to find a, to find a modern memes. There's getting new memes every day. You, you send screenshots. It's not just crying Jordan and Willy Wonka. You send literally have a guy named me. I love memes. That's totally different to be posting memes online.

Insulting memes is love language. Yeah. All right. Memes. Memes. Are you there? I can't see behind my head. Uh, is there, is there a meme?

I don't have eyes in the back of my head. Could you ever send a meme to a girl and be like, this meme is going to get her so wet. She's going to love this meme. I mean, it's funny. You know, you're also not like trying to, it's not like trying to get it. It's just funny things to like, it's not all about always like, I want to try to get her wet.

Like it's just, Hey, this is funny. Let's laugh. That's where you and I differ. I guess so. It's, you know, just having a funny banter back and forth. No, but as for the shit on the chest, it's, uh, I don't think he actually means it. Uh, I think he was trying to do a little trial bullet. Are there actually people out there that like shitting on other people's chests?

Is it Odell? Like, no, he likes getting shit on. Yeah, that's right. Well, then I assume the person that he finds probably likes to shit on him. I think they're just like, I'll tolerate two to tango. I'll tolerate dating an all pro wide receiver for means that he'll crap on my, my aerial is every now and again. Um, all right.

Next one. Hey, part of my take crew, my boyfriend of almost three and a half years listens to your podcast every week and worships the ground you all walk on. For this past year's Spotify wrapped, his number one artist was Olivia Rodrigo and his top three songs were by her too. Do you think I'm doing a good job as his girlfriend? If all he listens to is depressing songs about breakups. Thanks guys.

Ooh. Sounds like he's in some of those are bangers. He's in touch with us. Yeah, I was going to say she rocks. Yeah, like some of those are bangers. Like you have to, I think you have to weed through it. Like, does this song rock no matter what is being said or is it like he's just listening to Taylor Swift over and over being like, I can't wait till we break

up where this actually hits me even more. Good for you. You was just a good song. Yeah, but there's, you know, there's a, listen, I'm not going to judge because we spend way too much time thinking about football and sports and gambling and everything, but the equivalent of that is, uh, the females out there that light a candle every night and listen to Taylor Swift on repeat. I don't want to put this in your head.

Kelly Keegs, I like you. Don't get mad at me. I don't want to put this in your head to the person that wrote in, but there, there's another possibility here that he might share a Spotify account with a girl. Yeah. And it's invaded his, his most listened to his ex-girlfriend because I, somehow my account got linked up like four years ago with a guy that lives in El Salvador and listens to nothing but El Salvadorian music.

And so in my recommended for you playlist, always one of them is just a bunch of songs by Central American artists. And it always, it can feel, I have no idea how it happened, but we might be looking at a similar situation. Yeah. I hope not. You're right. But just put the screws to him a little bit.

Uh, memes. Next one. My boyfriend ruins the moment when he has to go pee before sex every time. He says he needs to empty his pipe before using it. He's, he's jacked off. He's jerking off. He's jerking off. He's a two pump chump.

Yeah. He's getting, he's firing off a warning shot. Yeah. I get turned off and shut him down when he comes back from the bathroom at any advice. Roman swipes. Um, yeah, Roman swipes, actually good call, Billy, Roman swipes. You just don't let him drink water.

Yeah. Or just be like, Hey, instead of, instead of jerking off in the toilet, why don't I just jerk you off and then you, you, I'll fuck your limp noodle. We'll just press sex here. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. But this guy needs to just, just offer up Roman swipes.

Well, it sounds like he's not even lying about it. Well, he is, he's saying he's peeing. No, he says he's got to go empty the pipes. Yeah, that's what, that was the exact phrasing. Yeah. Yeah. I think that she's just misinterpreting it. Yeah.

My husband and I are expecting our first child in two weeks and it's a girl considering my husband has used the ultrasound measurements to calculate which sport she will likely excel the most in while also praying she doesn't arrive on a Sunday. We could use all the help over here. Dad cat, any advice on what you would give to a soon be girl dad? Um, yeah, I mean, it is a good question. It is very funny, like thinking, I think that it's the, the macho thing before

you have a kid where you're like, Oh, I can't wait to teach, teach my son or my daughter to play this sport or I'm going to tie their hand behind their back, have him be a lefty. And then they arrive and you're like, I just want them to be healthy. And also, uh, given my personal genetics, I don't know this person, like there is a 0% chance either of my kids play any type of sport at a high level. So I, uh, let's be honest with ourselves here, like my son just started learning how to shoot in the little, uh, tykes, you know, basketball hoop, he

sucks at it and he probably will suck forever. And that's okay. Cause I fucking love the kid. It really speaks to what most guys are like before they have kids that we were only able to think of things in terms of sports. Yeah. So if we see a bit, it doesn't matter that it's your kid and then it's on an ultrasound and it's going to be a real person that you'll get to meet in a

couple of weeks, our brains are just wired to be like, look at those hamstrings. She's a sprinter. Yeah. Or like you're like, when you're, when, when you're hanging out with your boys in like college, you're like, Oh, my kid's going to beat up your kids. Like now that we all have kids, I would never want my kid to get hurt under any circumstances. So no, thank you on behalf of him.

Look at it. Look at the neck on this kid. We got a future take you a spikes. That, did you see that tweet of that woman who has like a seven year old who did it with with conda forever? That was a great one. It's like my kid said, it's so unfair that my whole childhood is going to be coronavirus now that I have children.

All those tweets are even funnier because like, I obviously a seven year old and a two and a half year old are very different, but I don't think my child is ever going to be bringing up those type of topics. She, she said, allegedly, uh, I've had a Corona childhood. Does that mean I'm going to have a Corona virus life? Yeah. Yes. I mean, that's a very insightful seven year olds.

Like, yes. I just, I like to imagine that seven year old doesn't even exist. It's just a lady had a psychotic break online and invented a family. I think it's, um, I think there's like a whole corner of the internet where all these people like to trade these stories to make themselves feel like great parents because they're like, look how smart my kid is because I went to that woman's Twitter feed and she had also retweeted someone saying, I turned to my five year old today and said, I wish we could just lay in bed and snuggle all day.

And my five year old said, you would get dehydrated. What? What, what kids are you raising? That they, that's what they think about. That's weird. That's really weird. That's very, but that would be a great pickup line for somebody to use in an actual relationship.

That's like, uh, my son, all he does is he says, he says, I need, he says, I need park, he needs to go to the park. He's like, I need, I need to go to the park. I think I need cars. I'm going to invent a fake, a fake child for myself who's actually going to be the opposite. It was going to be the dumb, the dumbest kid ever online. Just be a kid.

Well, I'm going to make up stupid shit that they say, like they're actively wrong about everything. Yeah. Um, be a good bit. All right. Uh, we have any more? That's it. One more.

One. Uh, hi, hi cat and honk. This sounds weird, but it's actually, oh, Hank's not here because he got bullied by Bill's fans. This sounds weird, but it's actually true to us, by the way, because, um, Hank asks us not to say any the word shaming, which we haven't done. No, I'm very happy that we just said that it builds fans and bullied him off Twitter, which will make him equally as mad, but for, but we followed his rules.

And every, every bills fan out there, send a nice tweet to Hank today. Tomorrow morning, when you hear this, send, yeah, send him a nice tweet. Very, very nice. Maybe talk about how great the week 13 Super Bowl was. Yeah. This sounds weird, but it's actually true and seriously annoying. Every time my boyfriend and I have sex, it starts out great, but then my boyfriend uses a weird robot voice and says things like mating sequence

initiated and penis equals erect ready for insertion. And it really gets me out of the mood. He says he's been doing it for years and I'm the only one who's ever had a problem with it. How can I get him to stop? Or should I just let him keep going? Thanks. I think you got to go over the top with it.

You got to be more robotic than he is. Yeah. Who was it? How does he five doors are open? Was he fucking a robot before? I like this. This guy's got, listen, he's doing something different. It's not as cool as the guy that would call out audibles when he was trying

to switch positions. Yeah. That guy, like Omaha, Omaha, you should just, you should just root. Yeah. Reverse it on him. He should be like powering down and like just go limp. Just a total reversal of the robot. Even the blue screen of death.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah, the red ring of death as well. That was Xbox. The Xbox Xbox red ring of death. I've shot anyone who went through the red ring of death and like tried to do like there was this whole, there was this whole entire video that showed you how you could fix it and it was like a blow dryer and like some super glue

and all these steps and you just essentially what happened was it was like a 1% chance you could fix it and a 99% chance you fucked up the warranty so you could never get like a new Xbox. There were actually online communities that were built around the red screen of death message, but it was a very active topic. I'm sure Billy, if you look up on the bodybuilding forms, there's probably at least seven powerful threads on there about how to deal with the red screen. That's probably the worst thing that happened to me in like the year of 2005.

I want to say maybe when did Xbox come out? I was a long, I was before that, I think. Yeah, it might have been. So I had, I had Xbox when I was a freshman in college. That's when we were playing. That's when I truly fell in love with Madden. I used to always love playing it, but Madden, Madden 2004 was probably the best video game of all time.

What, when the, was that the first Xbox? No, but didn't the original not have the ring? Yeah, at 360 was 2005. Yeah. Yeah. It was 360 red ring at death. All right. Should we do our picks?

What are you gonna say, Billy? Looking at this bodybuilding form. My Xbox won't turn on. There we go. Red ring. That's a big deal. What did they say? What did they say to do?

I'm looking for real ones. Well, they just do. Red ring attack. You gotta squat deeper. It works. I remember that offer a few weeks, right? Yeah. You set it off.

It was like 99 bucks, which in college, that's a lot of money. And it was, I remember, I just, it was almost essentially like breaking bad. We were like cooking meth in our apartment, trying to fix the Xbox. The amount of tools and weird shit we had to do and it didn't work. It just, it literally was just meant, I think it was actually written by Xbox so that everyone would ruin their warranty and have to buy a new Xbox. All right, let's do it. Picks give us an update.

So here's what we did this week. We all texted memes, um, our picks separately. And so he has all of our picks. So there's no cheating, no issues with that. Hank will, memes will say Hank's picks out loud when we go around. Jake, give us the breakdown. I think Liam's in the best spot, right? Liam is in the best spot.

So PFT is two games up on Hank, who was a game and a half and half up on me. You're a game, you're a half game behind me. So you're two games behind Hank. In second place, second place and last place are going. And then Liam is two and a half behind you and who he's two and a half up on Billy's Liam is two and a half games separated from danger. Everyone else is within two with eight left. So no one's safe.

You're in pretty good shape, big cat. I'm you and Bubba, you and Bubba are okay. Liam, no, because if I got me, if Jake and I bust out like a three and one and Hank goes a one and three, we're in second place. Hank's too good of a gambler though, but it's, it's, it's. This is a diabolical way to do this. And it's the what we wanted is happening. We've accomplished what we wanted.

And that's that this is coming down to the end and everyone's can be fucked. Like if Billy goes eight, no new game. Well, Billy is not going to happen. I think Billy needs to go at least two and two to have a heartbeat going into that he's got to go eight. No, I think Billy's going to absolutely choke down the stretch and finish a resounding last place. Billy, I think Billy's low.

He'll let you know like I'm low key pump for the trip. I think Billy's low key pump for the trip. I was thinking about it like I could just go two and two both weeks, pick the over. No, no, I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do this game. I'm not going to do it. Point of doing this was it was supposed to be a punishment that we all didn't want to do.

I didn't want to do it. I know. Now, now I want to do it. But I don't think it's ruining it to simply admit the fact that cross country road trip sounds like a good time. Yes, it cross country road trip is fun. But it was supposed like you understand doing this for an entire season. I just I just wear into a positive mindset.

Yeah, I still very much don't want to do it. Go eat. No, Billy, shooting for the top or crashing burning. Billy, why don't you start? Why don't you start? You're going to go eat. No favorites, favorites. My favorites are Rams by three and a half against the. That's mine as well. That's mine, too.

That's mine as well. Oh, no, and me. Oh, and Hank. Hank has Titans minus three and a half. OK, all right. Wow. So that just erased. Now it's down to seven games. That's kind of good for non.

I mean, now it's good for the status quo. We can't reverse what we did. Five people. We can't reverse it because this is what we did. And we there's a whole reason that we texted memes. But you would be a fucking moron if you're listening to this right now and you don't bet the Ravens. Yeah, like five out of six of us having the same pick.

Has that happened? Can I five? Can I be honest? This is this game was my sucker play of the week. I was like, everybody's going to love the Rams. Everyone's going to remember how how bad the Ravens have looked with their backup quarterback situations. And I think this is this is going to be where we get to see the finesse

Rams come back, where they're going to get shoved around a little bit. Here's the thing. But I I love the Ravens so much that I flipped it on myself at the last second. I just don't know. The Ravens are like completely decimated in on their defense. Like even if Lamar plays, the Rams are going to be able to pass all over them. Joe Burrow just had 500 yards.

Like the Rams have the same amount of weapons that the Bengals do. This is going to be. Yeah, honestly, if you're listening to this right now, and you don't bet the Ravens, you're fucking moron means he said Titans Titans for Hank, Frank, Frank, three and a half. He's disrespect. He really he's Hank is just based on this pick alone. You can tell how nervous Hank is of like

Judgment Day of the Dolphins beating the Patriots week 18 and going to the playoffs. They have the Jaguars. I understand. But if the Dolphins win this game, like Hank is saying to himself, the Titans are going to kill the Dolphins. Dolphins suck. I don't have to worry about the Dolphins week 18.

Is it a possibility that we get into a situation where Hank going into week 18 could fall out of second place? Jake could take his spot in second place. If Jake picked the Dolphins to beat the Patriots. And so then Hank has to root for the Dolphins so that he doesn't go on the trip. That's definitely that would be great. That would be awesome. Yeah.

All right, underdogs Billy three and a half, by the way. I know I want to say all the numbers. Yep. Thank you, Jake. Are sure my underdog is Cardinals by five and a half. OK, so they're on a two game losing streak. They're playing a big game against the Cowboys. I think they need to win this game to have any confidence. I think they're going to want it more Cowboys.

I think maybe in like chill for the playoffs mode. So we get big, big cap brought up that set about Cliff Kingsbury and how his Mr. Weeks one through seven. Yeah, one through nine. Once given credit, one through seven is his worst stretch over the last three years that he's been in the NFL. But somebody brought up a graphic that goes back way farther. I saw his head coach from Doug Colson.

So it goes all the way back to 2013 when he was coaching Texas Tech in every season from there. Games one through seven in every season, 42, 20 and one the rest of the year, 16 and 43. Now he's got a vitamin D problem. That's the only thing I can think of. So I saw this. The only reason that in my mind, it like doesn't hold up

is that Texas Tech plays cupcakes in September. It's still a stat. So it's like four and oh, automatically NFL. Yeah, no, it's still stat. It's still. But it's not just like four and oh. There are a lot of no, I know, but it's like five or no every year. Yeah, seven and oh, five and two. All right, so Cardinals.

So you're going against the Cliff Kingsbury. Five and a half. Yeah. OK. Jake, I took the dolphins plus three and a half. OK, that's ahead of a thank. This is huge. That is huge. That game will decide a lot if the dolphins cover. Not only they're more alive in the playoff picture, but well, they have to win. Right.

They'd have to win. But said they do win and cover. Hank and I are pretty much even. But if Hank wins, it probably eliminates the dolphins and it could put Hank. Yeah, closer to the road. Check in place. All right. I'm doing the respect game.

You have to automatic. Might even make it a game of the year. Pittsburgh Steelers plus three and a half Monday night. Big Ben's last home game. Have to have to. I was just thinking about what Big Ben's career is going to be like post retirement. I feel like he's going to be the new Dan Marino or Joe Thysman, where he does like every commercial.

Yeah, Big Ben's going to be on TV for copper fit knee braces, selling his BB seven diet method. He'll definitely have a job with the Steelers in some like capacity that isn't real. Football ambassador. Yeah. Yeah. No, they'll give them a title to make some feel. Vice president of football things. I might even put things in there for him.

Big Ben should just be a spokesperson for WebMD. He's like, how are you feeling? Do you have a tickle in the back of your throat? He should just be. Look it up on WebMD. Just be the the chat operator. So like when you log on to WebMD and they're like, I see you've logged on. Can I help you with anything?

It's actually Big Ben. Hi, my name is Ben. I've had every injury that's ever occurred. How can I help you? Yeah, you got a you got a torn labrum in your hip. Yeah. Oh, that reminds me of week 12 and 2012 when I shouldn't have played what I did. Someone's like, my my head kind of aches.

Sounds like you were riding a motorcycle. Just yeah, like, do you do you have a game this week? That's what that's all. That's how we ask the first question. Hi, it's big. It's Big Ben. Do you have a game this week? OK, you can play. Yeah. Well, listen, every other doctor that you'll ever talk to is going to tell you that you can't do it.

But if you really believe in yourself, you can get through this one. All right. Your underdog, PFT. Texans plus 12 and a half at the 49ers. Jimmy G's got the injury. He's got a finger, right? Is it going to be Trey Lance? He's got a finger. We're going to get maybe Trey Lance there.

They'll at least sprinkle a little Trey Lance for us, I think. I would agree. I think Kyle Shanahan said that Trey Lance has had the best month of practice that he's had all year, which is a good thing that he's better now than he was at the start of the year. Yeah, because he's stunk when he got in against the that was against the Cardinals, right?

He ran the touchdown play that one time. Yeah, the whole game against Cardinals was bad. That's stunk. And also Texans are hot. Yeah, plus 12 and a half. They're starting to believe 13. Do we want to keep it at 12 and a half? No, give me 13. No, give me 13.

All right. Liam. I've got Falcons plus 14. Oh, at Buffalo. Yes. Buffalo has just been hot coming off a big win. I feel like Falcons kind of keep it close. They are the.

What about the coin math, Bubba? Did you hear me when I was talking about the coin math? Yeah, I didn't know about that. I'll be honest. And the Falcons do get blown out by good teams. That's their thing. Yeah, that's kind of their thing. They really get blown out by the teams.

They get smoked by the teams. All right. Hanks pick, as said by memes. Raiders plus five. Wow, John Madden. John Madden. Yep. Wait, is it six and a half right now?

It's been bouncing around because Carson Wentz. It went all the way down to one. It was an eight and a half went down to one. It is off the board. One of the bar still supports it currently. So that's probably something Hank might have known. Yeah, let's see. Hank knows everything.

Find it. Let's see. Let's give him what's a fair. I see six and a half other place. So let's give him six and a half. Okay. I think that's fair. I see six and a half at two different places.

All right. So all right. Six and a half plus six and a half. Six and a half. Okay. You're over, Billy. My over had to take it, you know, we're playing conservative trying to get this eight.

No, Chief Spangles over 50. What does that have to do with conservative? Like you're, this is the most aggressive over that you can are you trying or not? I'm really trying. I'm like, well, that's mine as well. Yeah. It's the most obvious over.

You're two. Okay. Interesting. I mean, if you don't think Joe Bro's going to try to outplay Patrick Mahomes, as opposed to like every other week, when you're trying to win. Yeah. Yeah.

Like Joe Bro's going to try to win. He, you can tell he takes it personal. No. Yeah. Last week he came out there and he was like, I'm going to suck because I'm not playing anybody, but next week, but you, you bring your best when you're playing the best, but when he played Josh Johnson, he played his best game of his

career. Right. But Josh Johnson is the best journeyman quarterback. No, but like he wants to go out and do that against the Kansas City Chiefs. Okay. I like it. I'll tell you what, Billy and Liam have two of this three the

same and it's a two and a half game. Lee, that's huge for Liam. That's huge for us. Why this might be a torch game. Wait. So that's just guaranteed. Billy's in last entering next week, because he can't jump two and a half games if they have two, only two, but you'll be in

striking distance. Billy. So do we have the same I up on Billy, Billy, you are up five on Billy with eight left this road trip. No matter what Billy will be. Well, no, I should say that I hate this PFT. You have to try. No, I'm the most honest person here in that I want to finish

second place. I'm being very honest with you guys. Okay. So all right. My, my over is Rams Ravens over. You do understand my point though, that like the competition in the spirit of the competition, what people were listening for was like, man, this is going to suck for two people.

Oh, every week it's it's neck and neck and I think on the finish line, you're like, actually kind of want to do it. I think they'd actually be happy to see us having a good time on the trip across, but that's different than saying it now. Like having a, again, if I law, if I finish second, I will find a way to make good content out of it and have fun with it. Okay. So I don't want to do it because that's the whole point.

How are you going to wait? We were for a second Billy. I think what the actual issue is here, when we first conceptualized the trip across the country, we were like, fuck, that's going to suck. I hate that. Now we've gone so long. And the fact of the matter is, I literally just like looked at

a map that somebody tweeted me and I got excited about it. And I'm sure that if I finish in second place, yes, when it's fine, when it don't know when it dawns on me that I'm actually going to have to do it, I'm probably going to flip again and be like, this sounded like something cool that I could do. This is going to suck. I just want to keep a competition that we had set from the beginning where it was like, everyone's like, oh, that sucks

wherever finishes second and last, instead of, oh, we're now gunning for second and last. I just think that's a you problem. If you're upset that I'm looking forward, I'm not upset. I'm not a me problem. Spirit of the competition. You're yucking my yum. No, I'm trying to have a competition that we've done all

season and instead of the last two weeks being like, I'm in first, but I'd like to be second. So I win either way that happened. The reality is, if I do come in second, I'm sure that eventually I'm going to flip again and be like, I really don't want to do this shit. I just do it now. I really don't want to do this.

There it is. That's all you have to do. I thought I thought it was going to be fun. There it is. But I actually have to get into a car and dry and it's it'd be awesome if it was warm weather. I just so we could get the convertible. It's fun when people listen to us being like, we don't we have

to do something we don't want to do. Not we get to do something fucking sick. What a bad punishment. The best possible thing we've invested all year in is actually me really hoping I get second place still finishing in first and then Hank having to go on the trip. And I'm like, damn, I wish I could have done that. Yeah, that's funny.

If you're like, oh, Hank, you're going to have so much fun. I really wish I was in your spot and then knowing he's going to be miserable. I the two people who go are going to make good content out of it. I never thought that was going to be the case unless it's like, well, no, Billy and Jake would have been hilarious. That would be great. Well, it's very much in the cards.

I kind of am fine with losing. But if I do get second to last, I would still kind of want to go. OK, so there we go. All right, Rams Ravens, Billy, you know, over 46 and a half. Why don't we just all just drive across country? We should actually clarify for Billy that you're going to have to work and do other stuff while you're on the road. Correct.

It's not like as Billy, I think most of the reason why Billy wants to go on the road trip is so they doesn't have to work. And you also don't have like six days to do it. OK, and you're are you going to bring your dog? No, I got bent. You're going to do Mitt Romney and just put him on the roof. Rams Ravens over 46 and a half is my over. Did you do your yeah, it's just you're the chiefs.

All right, Billy, I have 50. I like that over. I think that's a good one. Which one? Rams Ravens. So you're going to take that? No, but I'm just saying I like it. OK. My over is I got Cardinals Cowboys over 51 and a half. OK, that's a fun over. Basically, just a fun over.

That's a fun over now. Fifty two. Even better, even better. Liam Bubba. He's in with. Yeah, I'm the same. Oh, yeah, you're the same. All right, memes. For Hank, Bill's Falcons over 44 and a half.

Bill's Falcons over 44 and a half. OK, under Billy. Wrap us up. Giants, Bears, 37 and a half. It's a yucky game. I just I had the same one. Yeah. Are you kidding? Oh, my God. I mean, I texted it to me.

I texted it to me. Memes can verify, but memes. Memes has been back there with Liam. Wow. So Liam is. So that's huge for Liam. Without even realizing his played incredible defense. Wait, so you're the game that I haven't chosen with Liam. You have the Cardinals plus five and a half

and he has Atlanta plus 14. So in theory, that would have been a great strategy. It was. I just tried to guess all of it. If Liam wins the Falcons and Billy loses the Cardinals, it would be three and a half with four games left. They wouldn't then need to be a four and 0 and 0 and 4 reverse sweep next week. But if he loses and I win, is that that it's one and a half

with four to go? OK, got it. That's very much. So it's one reach. Yes. Yeah. All right. Your was that number under 37 and a half. Jake, you're under. I confirm that. Thirty eight. Giant. There's thirty eight.

Thirty eight. OK. I took what did I take? I took the Jets box, I believe, was under forty six. That's mine as well. Under forty six. Yeah. So we're paired up on two. Yes. We're not really head to head.

Well, we kind of are. That's good to get to second. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's going to be movement to second. All right. And then finally, Hanks last under. Memes. Hank has forty nineers, Texans, forty four. And I can confirm that Billy and Liam have three picks.

Wow, Texan, Hank has forty four and a half now. Who texted you first, Jake or Billy or Liam or Billy? Billy, then Liam. Interesting. Billy, Hank, forty four and a half. You texted first, Billy. Well, I did do an update on my picks. Oh, wait, that one update was the one pick that we have different because I picked the Colts

as my underdog originally when Sam Ellinger was started. And I said, actually, I want to change it. So good thing he has the Falcons and not the Colts. So it never was a problem. All right, he changed it, too. I'm excited for week 17. Why didn't you buy under? Oh, yeah, you're under my under. I'm going to take the under in the Saints.

Panthers, which is thirty eight and a half. That's what I got. I don't know what. Yeah, no, that's a there's two games in just gross. Just just a gross game. I don't know who's going to be playing quarterback for the soon. Taysom, all right. If Blake starting, do I get permission to change it? Yeah, out of out of respect for Blake.

Absolutely. I'm not going to be putting my my name next to an underpick with Blake Bordell's name. Absolutely. If he does change, I'm going to take a game. I'll pick one that. Who the Seahawks playing Seahawks are playing the line. OK, no one's talked about that game yet. So I'll take the under in that game. OK, so that your official picks. No, no, no.

Yes, correct. My official pick. He gets a if Blake Bordell starts, it's now switches to Seahawks line. The Blake Bordell's pause. Yeah, it's absolutely fair. I did notice that some people online got to the bottom of the who dat versus who day discussion. And let's just say some stones are better left unturned. Yes, I'd agree. I'd agree.

But thank you for for overturning those stones for a brief second. And then being like, oops, there's some worms and critters. The phrase weird shit. The phrase entertainment sketches from the 1960s was doing a lot of work. It's like my grandfather took a semester abroad from Germany to Argentina in 1945. Let's just quickly say best games of the weekend.

There's there's some weird games because everyone there's everyone's still alive. What would you say the best game on week 17 is? Chief Spangles, Chief Spangles. Yeah, Chief Spangles, Cardinals, Cardinals, Cowboys, although the Cowboys, the both teams are in, they both clenched. But I don't think that's that good of a game, though, because the Cowboys are awesome and the Cardinals suck. Raiders, Colts will be interesting

because that does feel like the Colts have been riding really high. And the Raiders, I don't know. Maybe I'm just talking myself into this Raiders, maybe beating the Colts, which is not going to happen. And then the Vikings are going to lose by a billion to the Packers, I'm sure. Unless Cal Sloder starts, unless Cal Sloder starts, then I'll also give you permission for that. If Cal Sloder starts, you get the Vikings as your underdog, if you'd like.

Declined out of respect. Oh, you don't believe I just I want to see how he plays. I want to see I want to I want to watch some all 22 of them during a regular season game. I've only seen him play in the month of August. I don't know if he can handle December. That's true. All right. Anything else before we we wrap up?

The numbers like last week, we're doing this on Tuesday again. We had dolphins plus three and a half last week. I know, but that's just how it is. That's how it is. Like it's been it could change a lot. Billy benefited from the Raiders Browns game a couple of weeks ago. True. Yeah. It's COVID rules.

Right. It's COVID rules. I had one other stat. Yeah, that I want to address here. Cliff Kingsbury, you know his middle name is? Hmm. No. It's Tarle with a T Tarle Cliff. Yeah, Tarle Clifford Cliff. Carl. No, it's Tarle.

But you think it was Carl with a K at one point? Oh, it's a good call. They really they really went out of their way to avoid those initials. Yeah, he's like grandfather's name is Carl. Yeah, a smart move to the Kingsbury family. Tarle, although you really you really toe in the line with that one. Wait, are we idiots? This is Cliff's spell with a K or C. It's K. Oh, shit.

With Kingsbury spelled with a K as well. Well, that was one of your most genius moments, Billy, and then you've doubted yourself. What the hell? Yeah. No, that's great. So far, it is. What? Yeah. Fact check confirmed. You guys have any New Year's resolutions?

Oh, yeah, by the way, real quick, if I ordered supplements, a supplement stack for every one of the podcasts, would you guys be down to take it? Yes. Yeah, doing it. No questions asked. Let me just read it out so people give you my credit card. OK, beta beta alanine, 500 milligrams, aspartic acid, which is for that's in C4 for each of you creating. Oh, you're not you're not customizing.

I'm customizing it for everybody as a whole. Or no, you're so customization. So you're going to get stuff that speeds up your metabolism. OK. PFT is going to get. OK, you are. That is customization. OK. Yeah. So yeah, give me give me what I'm getting. OK, this is what you're getting. Beta alanine, 500 milligrams, aspartic acid, 600 milligrams,

creatine, actually, in what? No, no, creatine for you. That's stone. Yeah, yeah, no creatine for you. Ashkwanda extract, tribulus, terrestris, arginine, theanine and turmeric biopairing. That's just to make sure everything is streamlined in your body. OK, I look forward to whatever something a little different. What am I getting? Is he getting the creatine?

You're getting vasco dilators to get you a pump so whenever time you work out, your muscles get fucking swole. Wait, that's the only thing that I'm getting? Yeah, but you just finished a cut. You're giving big cat like the ingredients of a complete nutrition laboratory. You're getting like. And then you're like, I'm just you're essentially you're saying to me, I'm going to give you cocaine.

No, it's actually it's actually just going to dehydrate you so that your veins pop. No, you're going to get water. You're giving me one thing. Big cat giving you nitro oxide boosters and other stuff. Oh, that's not what I was talking about. Yeah, wait, he's getting to the other stuff. Nitro oxide boosters.

That's fucking sick. Yeah. OK. The creatine is that bad for somebody with kidney stones? Chronic kidney. No, it's going to make you bloated. It's going to push out the kidney stones. OK. It's going to break them up. Get those kidneys going. That's good. I just I just want to get jacked. Exactly. New year, new me. I want to dunk on a regular. I want to my resolution is

I want to dunk something on a regulation. We're going to put carnitine, which makes your muscle fibers more efficient. OK, I like that. I'm also going to read a book this year. There we go. I'm still thinking about it. I have a tweet from like three years ago saying I started a book. I can't wait till I finish one so I can reply to it. It's been a while.

You know what else? I did start a book when I suited that. I'm going to I'm going to learn the free bird solo this year. There we go. Jake. I'm going to read Goodell versus Obama. Oh, good book. You should you should read the audiobook version. Yes, I'm getting you should also purchase that

if you don't have it already on audible.com. I'm getting jacked again and starting to dress more like an adult. What? Yeah. What does that mean? Just shoelaces in your shoes. Dude, I already started, bro. Look what I have for Christmas. When you brought it to show us. Yeah, that's a book bag.

That's not dressing. That's what it's not. It's not a backpack. Right. That's not satchel. But that's not that's not part of dressing. We're looking more. OK, all right, all right. It's an adult accessory. Yeah, Billy, you know that satchel, you know that you're a blogger, right?

Satchel, we have a job that's like it encourages you. Yeah, but like at one point, you guys like dressed like adults. No, at this job, literally when I swept it. No, but like in your life. Like what? Like at one point, you put on like, dude, I get a funnel for dressing the most adult like and it's just jeans and a sweatshirt. Yeah, but that is like the the peak.

But you guys are jeans shamed. Yeah, I get jeans shamed. But I am I'm literally the most adult person on this podcast. And I've worn a sweatshirt 40 days in a row. But at one point in your guys lives, you guys like because to rub in the whole I went to college thing. Yeah, he wears sweatshirts with hoods. Look at me. I have and not hoods.

Look at me. I have equity. I'm wearing socks. You got a nice orange socks on. Nice. You also actually everything that I'm wearing right now is free, which is pretty typical of my day to day experience. I'm never going to grow up. No, you're going to grow up. All right. Numbers.

Do you want to someone go hit the machine? Sixty nine scouts on our memes. Bring the ball out here. Forty four for the for the video. Twenty six. TJ, you want to guess the last ball of twenty twenty one. Wow. Sixteen. You're a big.

I can tell you're a big like this is the last of this year thing. This is also the penultimate week of the regular season. I've gotten to the point where I just don't. The years just blend together. I don't even. But you've said that a few times. I like that you need to one guy around. He's like, hey, this is the last time we'll be together.

Twenty one guys. It's time to reflect on another cool throne. See you next year, guy. Yeah, that guy's having a week. Last time we'll sip out of this water in this room. You guys, you guys think twenty twenty two is going to be better than twenty twenty one. Twenty twenty two is going to be sick. I think that's are going to do some sick shit.

I think everything changes in twenty twenty two. If you had to power rank twenty twenty and twenty twenty one, which what's first? Twenty twenty twenty twenty. I like twenty. I like the first year. There was no March Madness. I like that's true. But that first two months.

Yeah, first two months were sick. Yeah, dude. New Orleans. Yeah. Yeah. No. What did you get? Sixty eight. Oh, are you kidding me? Oh, damn.

I know. I think it was upside down. The lines on the bottom. Yeah, that's so close. But yeah, I think that's fair. It's like having the debate of like Walter Payton versus Emmett Smith's career, something like that, where like the peaks of twenty twenty. Yeah, we're amazing.

Right. The lows were quite terrible. Terrible. Twenty twenty one was just it was pretty good. Also, we compiled stats in twenty twenty one. You could make the argument the first like two weeks of quarantine were kind of low key fund because it was like, yeah, snow day. Getting over March Madness.

Yeah, but now like the fact that we're still dealing with this shit is such a slog and such a drain like before it was at least coronavirus was scary. You know what I mean? Like it was scary. We were like, oh, this is scary for a little bit. Dude, everyone got addicted to the news. Yep. We were all terrified.

I watched Cuomo on do his press conferences, powerpoints. Yeah, every single day. Yeah, all the Cuomo sexuals out there had a great twenty twenty twenty one was not as good for you. That was that was wild when we all just pretend about you, Billy. Twenty twenty or twenty twenty one. Well, you're a big Trump guy. So so so January twenty twenty one was great for Bill.

We'll see everyone in twenty twenty. Well, I got to explain something. OK, so this one. So the difference between a crow, a raven and a blackbird. Blackbirds are much smaller. Who asked ravens? It's like the Cougar, Puma and Mountain line. Yeah, who asked that?

These are highly asked questions. Crows have different sounds than ravens. Ravens travel in pairs, crows travel in flocks. Love you guys. All right. Well, I was her talking away. Who's today? I'm to say I see my life. Say, did you wait to days and not close my eyes?

A day to find you in the spring. The shine. Now I'm coming for your levels. Go on. Come. Oh, you. Well, I wanted. And I've changed all of them

Well I don't know Needless to say The wrong way I'm ought to send it To see the man But I need I have to be Still a little way

I've changed my way Early learning My life is upside down Stay up to me It's the better to be certain So take on me Take me on I'll be gone

I'll be gone I'll be gone With arms wide open With arms wide open