Pardon My Take - Comedians Cody Ko and Noel Miller, Mt Rushmore of YouTube Videos and Jimbos

Episode Date: July 26, 2019

Steve Ballmer is a life force of energy, training camp opening day, and the lost art of college dorms for football players (2:30-13:36). Fyre Fest Of The Week. (14:47-21:20) Mt Rushmore of Youtube videos. (21:21-33:18) Comedians Cody Ko and Noel Miller join the show to talk about their career on YouTube, feuds, internet culture and more. (34:47-1:04:24) Segments include explain it to hank “Clinton Body Count”, (1:07:04-1:09:04) it's Louisiana who cares, (1:12:10-1:13:39) and the return of Jimbos (1:13:40-1:19:09)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, we have Cody Coe and Noel Miller. If you don't know who those guys are, they are very, very funny. They are a comedy duo that does YouTube videos. Think similar to Jimmy Tatro, who's one of our favorite guests we had a couple months ago.

They actually work with him in some stuff. So an interesting little bit of a different mid-July interview with those two guys. Because of that, we have Mount Rushmore of YouTube videos, Firefest of the Week, and the return of Jimbo's. Let's go. Before we get to all of that, pardon my take is brought to you by the Cash App, the number one finance app in the App Store. Cash App is the most powerful way to send, spend, and save.

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Do it for the animals and be a lover. Download the Cash App today, enter code BARSTULE, get some money, and save some animals. Okay, let's go. Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now, put in code BARSTULE and you get $5 for free and $5 to ASPCA. Today is Friday, July 26th, and I just want to start this show with the same enthusiasm and energy that Steve Ballmer had at the Kawhi, Leonard, and Paul George press conference. Woo!

I'm just fired up to be here today, it's pretty cool, pretty damn cool. I love that guy. He is Howard Dean as an NBA governor, I almost used the O word right there. It was great watching him at the introductory press conference. He just explodes with energy. He strikes me as a guy that has a taser hooked up to his genitals every time his heart rate increases beyond 70 beats per minute, just keeps him going until he passes out. He is so much fun, we predicted, I mean it wasn't a big prediction because everyone saw

this coming, but the Kawhi Leonard robot mixed with Steve Ballmer's over the top insane insane energy is a match made in heaven and it's Jay and Silent Bob. Yeah, pretty much. Many Kawhi to show up for games in like a black leather duster. Yeah, and then Steve Ballmer just going absolutely insane and on top of all of that, credit to Steve Ballmer, there's definitely like an owner-cool, there's definitely a governor-cool that happens when a guy, you know, because a lot of these guys made their money either you know, being nerds or whatever it may be, they buy it to-

There's a lot of money in being a nerd. Yeah, there is. There's a shitload of money being here. And Ravel will tell you every fucking day on his Instagram story. So they buy a team the first few years, they're still themselves, then they get a little cool. Mark Cuban, remember when Mark Cuban used to go to Maverick's games with baggy, terrible jeans and Maverick football jerseys? That look?

Yeah. Steve Ballmer credit to him. He still looks like he is ready to present like the new update to Clippy in Microsoft 98 with his blue button-down shirt, khakis, and sweating through all of it. He definitely still works on slideshows in a spare time, even though he has like a million people that work for him that all do slideshows. He is still like, his home screen is like the PowerPoint website to make sure there's no updates for him.

Right. But you know what I mean? He hasn't gotten too cool. No, he's not too cool. I hope he never ever gets too cool. I'm nervous. I can't wait for the Clippers to make a deep run in the playoffs to see how Ballmer talks about the officiating in between games if he gets screwed.

He'll cry. He'll cry. He will just cry. And guess what? Adam Silver, you can't find a man for crying. Matter of fact, that's the last thing Adam Silver would ever do, because he is on a full war against toxic masculinity. And mental health is a big issue.

Hashtag let Ballmer cry. I can just imagine it. Yeah, he wouldn't have any coherent statement to make. He would just get in front of the mic, start to talk, and then just start balling and sweating and saying how much he loves the guys and how they work. That clearly would work, work, work, work. He can't not give a Microsoft presentation from the late 90s and everything he does. And he's got a great nerd body type too.

I don't know if you notice this about Steve Ballmer, but his, it looks like he wears like a large from the shoulders to the bottom of the nipples, like the thorax is a large and then everything else below that is like a double XL, and he wears these polo shirts that look like they were at one time full button ups that he just had him together and got rid of the bottom buttons. I love them. I love them. I love them.

So that was fun. By the way, if you want to watch our video or watch our show, I forgot to mention it on last show, but Barstool Gold is the best deal out there. BarstoolGold.com slash PMT. You get the rough and rowdies for free. You get everything. You can watch every single episode of part of my take. You can watch all of our interviews.

We have our training camp tour coming up, so you're going to want to get Barstool Gold sometimes to see these football guys. That's right. It's going to be great content. Sometimes I wonder how many people that listen to part of my take have no idea what we look like whatsoever. Because there's got to be a there's got to be a percentage of our audience out there, right? Yeah, that just doesn't know you probably are for the best not knowing sometimes, but I'll say this today

We look good. Yeah, we look really good a lot of swag in this. Yeah, you're rocking the Hawaiian polo I'm rocking a collar collar, which is always first time whenever you have a collar on Hank and I both are like You got court today. Yeah, exactly. What do you got? I live a life of leisure. How many of those shirts did you buy a lot? Double digits. Yeah What it's my style. I'm just listening when you have when you're overweight you have a choice and the choice is lose weight or Wear designs and patterns that shield your band tits Do you feel like you're gonna go on the ladder? Do you feel like you're neglecting the shirts that you used to wear before you know more of a summer thing?

Yeah, this is a seasonal. I'm not gonna wear this in fucking January You look like a like a senator at a Jimmy Buffett concert. That's exactly the vibe I'm going for I want to be the guy like if you see me You're like, hey that guy could either, you know, go have a margarita or smoke some really shitty wheat exactly Yeah, that's a perfect image for you. That is accomplished. I think I've just peaked as a human being. All right, so training camp Yes, we have the classic training camp what outfit slash vehicle do people come in? Jalen Ramsey came in a Brink's truck. Yes, the Packers are riding their bikes like every summer You've got Matt fucking Matt Patricia. Oh, it's so cute. It's so cute Matt Patricia is crushing the arrival game this year

He's got a motorized golf cart as you know the half the divisions of the NFC North. It's becoming the division of carts Yes, you've got Le Fleur who's out there driving his golf cart around with the Achilles injury What about Patricia? He just he it's just constant state of like I don't feel great for Matt Patricia I just saw it wait feels hurt. It feels like a bowling injury Yeah, he strikes me as a guy that at one point dropped a bowling ball in his foot this offseason didn't want to make a Big fuss out of it. Yeah, but he's showing up in a cart I want as many coaches as possible in that division to be driving around golf carts Put like little balloons on them

So it's like Mario cart if you get hit by an air and pass it pops one if you're getting three times practices over We had Tariq Cohen came in one of those Very unsafe like weird cars the roadster that where there's two seats and it's three wheels Scares the fuck out of me. Yeah, I don't like that get rid of that I don't like that I mean, it's probably more stable than a motorcycle big Ben was driving those for years true So yeah Tariq heat that yeah when you see a person driving one of those things you just think like okay Nobody has ever resold one of those cars. You just total it right you just drive it till it's done

Yeah, please please get rid of that and then We also metaphor for running backs career. Yeah, it's true. It's actually perfect metaphor. We have injuries and then also suspensions Taylor Luan from the Tennessee Titans. He got popped for PEDs Seems like he might be innocent. So we'll just say we have his back. Yeah, we got us back We got your back man. He said that he took a polygraph too. Yeah, he's prepared to turn those over I'm sure Gadel will take that to those are always a hundred percent. He will yeah accurate He's pulling the OJ defense, right? He'll spend the rest of his life looking for the real pisser. Correct. So we're you got it

We we we will also wake up every morning looking for it. We got your back Also Ezekiel Elliott holding out. He was not on the plane to go out to are they in Oxnard? Yeah, yeah, so he did not get on the plane We got plane watch, but there's a good chance that Ezekiel might just be on a no-fly list Yep, given his past indiscretions don't want him touching stewardesses Mitchell showed up carrying a cooler Mitchell did he did okay? That works. I like that. I like the old you like pack the lunch or so Well, no, it's it depends because there's some teams that have sold out on training camp And it's the worst where they basically just do it at their practice facility

And then everyone gets to go home the old school like the Bears still do it on a college campus So do you guys you get guys like these 300 pound linemen walking in with toilet paper and fans? Yeah, that's awesome That's the best that's training. It's just they're just like us Yeah, the pictures. I think you posted one of Kyle long walking out. There was the old picture of Charlie Whitehurst, right? Yeah, I don't know Kyle Orton Kyle Orton carrying a guitar with a lens up and it's like that picture They got when they who'd they catch it was like Danzig walking out from a store carrying a big bag of kitty litter Yeah, it's always funny to see like these legends. Just like us. Yeah, there's millionaires like oh I need to bring my playstation and a bunch of you know like a bunch of like Diet Cokes

Yeah, and they're like yep first day of school. So we brought it was it a nice cooler at least or was it like a classic Coleman Yeti Oh Yeti, that's a little so that was maybe an ad deal Yeti seems like that's a classic gift for a quarterback to give his Offense alignment true yet. He doesn't need to like pay people for ads. Oh, like they're one of those there above it I'd like to get to that. They're the opposite of Red Bull. Yeah, that's that's when you know You made it when you could know Red Bull does meet it They just give people Red Bull, right? And they're like will you just you have a shitload of followers when you just tweeted out Well, they're just like Dana Holger since still alive and he's just a walking advertisement for us

So we don't need to pay anybody Sometimes I think about that guy coach Dan I was watching get up this morning as is protocol in my household, okay? And Greeny was on there and Greeny was lighting it up as usual He had booger giving their training camp takes and I'll just say like seeing the footage of the players out on the field with Greeny reacting to it and booger reacting to it. My t-levels are at an all-time. Oh, I'm so ready Like we got real football news going on right now I was watching that and then I opened Twitter and then Greeny retweeted his wife who is on an airplane

Watching Greeny on get up nice relationship goals human centipede of green. Yes, just where you want to be exactly You want your head? That's nirvana. I want to be at the end of that. Yes. Yes, they eat very clean. They're very healthy people All right, should we do firefest? Should we do our firefest? Oh one more point. Yeah, I thought we weren't doing it because of jimbos No, we're doing no we'll do firefest is not in place of jimbos. We'll kick jimbos in at the end jimbos are the end Isn't a firefest essentially just a jimbo. Well, that's the people. Well, yeah We do our fire fast in it. It's their jimbos Yeah, I wanted to address big controversy brewing at Giants training camp already. Oh fans are chanting for Daniel Jones

And you can blame them. This guy is a walking bundle of energy. He's the future of the franchise I think we're all behind Daniel Jones. That's fucked up. That's you know what that actually might be a plant from Archie to motivate Eli That's not a wake them up a bad idea. Just rattle that cage I was actually this is gonna be bad news for Daniel Jones If he does get the starting job just because of Archie. Yeah, because the big cash cow they've got it's gonna be tough to Like believably market game-worn fake Eli Manning merchandise if he's the backup quarterback. Yeah, no, they'll find a way I'm sure they'll find a way Get them in for spot duty at the end so that they can sell those fucking yeah, they'll get you they'll get them in for

What yeah, or maybe get them in for a wildcat play, you know, yeah out wide just I'll say this Eli Manning would be an excellent wildcat quarterback where your job is to just stand up and look like your mom lost you at The mall. Yeah and get one yard. Yeah, that's exactly what a wildcat quarterback needs to do All right before we get to firefest a quick word from this is kind of funny We were talking about PEDs The boys it's an Amazon TV series. Ah, yeah, so superheroes everybody loves them They swoop out of the sky and save the day they give out

They give you that warm cozy feeling that everything will be all right, but what if superheroes weren't all they seemed What if superheroes embrace the darker side of their massive celebrity and fame? Abusing their abilities and manipulating the public recklessly vain ego driven Image obsessed and all on a quest to gain limitless power. Who would stop them? What that's where the boys come in a rag tag group of vigilantes the boys are out to save the world from the good guys They're not doing this from the goodness of their hearts. They've got bones to pick with the soups They're ready to expose the truth and they're willing to fight dirty to get the job done Our heroes have no idea what's coming for them based on the best-selling graphic novel the

Amazon original series the boys Premieres July 26 only on Amazon Prime video. So check that out July 26 firefest Hank and then we'll do our Mount Rushmore All right, I have a few the first ones that I thought we weren't doing firefest. Yep, thankfully my life is a firefest. So oh I am moving next week Originally the place that I moved into need someone to know they told me that I could move in movers I can move in. No, I don't need that. Well, I do need movers, but that's not the that's not that's not the He'll buy some pizza Told me that I can move in like July 29th and my lease ends July 31st

So I was like that's the plan then yesterday my building told me that the person who owns the building has a friend living there So I can't move until August 1st, but my building currently is telling me I have to be out July 30. You have to haul it So you have I've done what just everything up You have to move out at 11 30 at night and then drive over and move in at 12 30 in the morning you you get a truck you put everything in there and then you just park it overnight I've had to do it. It sucks. I mean, it's terrible. Yeah, it's terrible It is terrible, but that's what you're gonna have to do You just put it all in a u-haul and then park it somewhere safe for the night and then move in the next day

It fucking sucks. I've done it. Just sleeping your truck, too Sorry Cuz I'm just gonna have to do it a moving company might be able to handle that they probably deal with that stuff all the time So, yeah, they might be able to do it. So, yeah, figuring that out is my fire. Do you have enough for a moving company? That's not mean. I hope that's about money. No, no, no, if you can afford it possessions No, like Hank's possessions. Oh, how many possessions do you have gained some cabinets? Okay? Like have you installed you have acquired cabinetry required cabinets. Whoa So the place was all on the back of a truck was pre-built and one I put together

Prefab the place you're moving into doesn't have a cabinet in the kitchen. No like clothing cabinets. Oh Dressers, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I want to put your body your body plates in your shirts So so how many two of them? What else? TVs got multiple TVs. No, no big deal a lot of clothes a couch It's mostly for the t-shirts. Yeah, I don't be honest because like the amount of t-shirts that you acquire working at this job It's astronomical, but my point is he doesn't have I currently run. It's not like you're moving like a big dining room table No, huge sectional couch. No, you might be able to you might be able to life hack this thing Well, we'll talk off there. This is exactly why I never plan on moving even though. I don't really like New York that much

I just I hate moving more than I this is all the first year ago. I moved two years ago My lord keeps raising the rent and I'm like rent fucking. Yeah, I guess I guess I'll have to stick around because I'd rather not move When I moved here I literally put my stuff in the back of big cats car I'm moving into a loft so I had I had like a small cars worth of stuff and then I borrowed your car to move last time I've never moved for real small. It's a compact SUV, but it's still it's a little bigger. It's small Sounds like an average No, that's small. It's fucking terrible of SUVs. Do the compact SUV world is such it's fraud city

Yeah, because it's just a car It's and then you have like you actually don't have as much trunk room as you would in a normal car You put a dog in it and it's too many and it's already crowded You get to feel just like a little bit taller than everybody else driving around that's basically what you get All right, any others? No, that's it. Okay. P. F. C. What do you got? Okay? My firefest of the week is I agreed three months ago to play in a rugby tournament next weekend And I forgot about it until like last week and then people started making travel arrangements And I haven't played rugby in about three years and I haven't really kept my body

how do you say in shape over those three years and I've got two shoulders that need surgery that I forgot about and If I come back the Monday after this tournament with no broken bones That will be a tremendous success. Are you just putting it? I'm putting you on pre-alert for for handicapped PFT. Just don't go We've talked about this. You said you already paid for the house that you guys rented that means you can more so don't go I saying hey guys, I'll still pay for it That's my favorite spot to be in when I when I cancel like a bachelor party and I'm like well

I already paid so you guys can't even be mad at me. So the thing is I know I told you that I had paid I Plan on paying so paying don't go. I haven't paid pay your own penalty fee But I will be paying for it. Yeah, I'm just it's gonna be bad And it a rugby tournament like this is like a firefest because it's in a tiny town They're gonna be like tents and weird hotels set up that normally don't accommodate a lot of people Mm-hmm shitty meals out at the field. I I just sounds awesome My game plan is maybe play for the first 20 minutes fake an injury Yeah, and then a nice move is you get too drunk on accident

Yep, I had too many beers so I can't play and then you just sit on the sidelines the rest of time Yeah, or just don't even play just get too drunk skip the fake injury. I'll just stay drunk Just show up hammered. Yeah, my liver. Yeah, I'm throwing up. It must be allergies. Are you got any others? No, that's not that's a pretty big that's a big one Yeah, I know that's I am going to go and I'm probably not gonna like it part all right my firefest is Since we're like halfway through the summer I got my email for my pickup basketball game that runs in the fall in the spring and see who's in and I think it's a joke, but the guy who's running it said we're gonna bring back shirts and skins

Okay, I like it. I think it's a joke You just have to get there early enough to make sure you're on shirts every time I don't think I can play at the shirts and skins now. I think it's a joke There's always an outlet for that like sometimes when I played shirts and skins you get the guy that's wearing the white tank top the white beater No, that can't know you have to go shirts and skins It's sure what if we get you one of those t-shirts that's just like a naked lady's body In your skin type dude, that's that is the worst. There's it's a joke It's got to be a joke, but it is a firefest because I'm actually sitting here saying I cannot play basketball anymore for shirts

Here's what you do you offer very generously to buy jerseys Dude, or the thing I've thrown out every time is why doesn't everyone bring a dark shirt and a light shirt? You can do that and it's easy, but ever like If you get like a sick design for a jersey, then you can just show up and be like hey Yeah, but then I have a track of a jersey and you know, you'd lose that's true I would every Saturday morning. I'd wake up just furiously looking for my jersey Yeah, I can't find because I don't know where I put it because I never put in the same spot And then yeah, everybody else has to remember there. Yes, no chance

All right, should we do our Mount Rushmore Hank? You ready? Mm-hmm. All right So this is the Mount Rushmore of YouTube videos in honor of having Cody co and Noel Miller on the show their interviews coming up They're two really really funny comedians tubers tubers So we thought it'd be a perfect time to do it. I can't believe we haven't done this Yeah, this seems like a no-brainer one that we just missed I think at one point we did Mount Rushmore of early internet videos, okay? Which is a little bit different little different videos. Yeah. Well, you know what? We're at the point now where if we repeat

We also we're gonna we're definitely gonna do Mount Rushmore of Mount Rushmore's again. Yes enough time. Yes Absolutely. All right. A lot of people don't know that we did it. Yeah with SVP And Stanford Steve shout out Stanford Steve. Okay Hank you have the first pick. All right first pick Mm-hmm. I mean again, this is all like personal stuff obviously, but the first video that I watched over and over again Know all the words for unforgivable Unforgivable yeah, I remember that guy number one. It's just unforgivable. Yeah, I remember that guy. Okay. Okay good pick We'll try to by the way We'll try to slip in a few clips from some of these videos into the audio here

All right, so I got the fur my first pick whoo. There's a lot of fucking good videos. Yeah, I'll go with a classic I'll go with boom goes Let's check out the highlights I Steven Jackson's David Reggie Miller's looking good. He shoots the three and it's good Later he gets the rebound passes it to the man shoots it and boom goes a dynamite

Is that yours? That's mine. Well, that would have been a good pick. I know boom goes dynamite my first pick This is what happened last time now. I'm playing on tilt. I've got to get yourself back together. I've got to substitute Okay, I'm going to go with uh, this is a classic one. Okay I hope I'm just going to go with never going to give you up the Rick roll the Rick Astley got it. Okay. Yeah So many people have been pranked always funny. It's still funny to this day never annoying never been annoying I'll be honest. It had never understood the origin of that. It's just it's just a no one does no one knows what it means. It's not It still goes a little bit. I'll put it this way It had a longer run still being funny than you would expect everybody like that crying crying Jordan

But it is a classic. Yeah, it is a real classic. Yeah, my second one. I'm going to go with Keyboard cat Oh Good one. I had that on there keyboard cat And obviously the the sequel or yeah the sequel with uh, haley joe osman, which we brought up to with our interview with him Yeah, when it's uh, walker told me I had a Um, okay I'll go

with I'm going to go with letarian melton. That's that's one of my all-time favorites. That's the name, right? Who? Well, you guys are you serious right now? I think Which kid is that the I just want to do hood ride. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a good one. Yeah, sorry I didn't know the video is seven-year-old takes car on joy ride. Yeah, his name is Terry, but it's mount rushmore of youtube video Okay, so there you go. That's the name of the video. Uh, what is it seven-year-old takes car on joy ride And I just want to do hood rats things with my friends

I want to do because it's fun fun to do bad things Drive into a car. But did you know that you could perhaps kill somebody? Yes, but I wanted to do hood rats stuff with my friend Or no, I like doing hood rat things with my friends. I just wanted to do hood rat things with my friends And then he and then my friend he smokes real cigarettes Yeah, and he just was so not remorseful at all and just a funny funny fucking kid And then I think he got arrested like later on in life, which sucked I mean, yeah, I'm not surprised. Okay I mean, he was stealing cars at seven years old. You have a maybe that well. He took his grandmother's car hank. Yeah

I'm just saying the signs were there. Yeah, it's different. I think that's what you actually Put a pre-crime on them the signs were there. No, I was crying. It was a crime crime. It's crime crime crime crime Uh, all right, so I had that one. I will go with Leroy Jenkins hd 1080p That's a lot better than we usually do All right comes up ready guys Leroy Jenkins Okay, classic. Yep. Leroy Jenkins that screened that in high school for like every all time obnoxiously. Uh, you?

Yeah, I Shocker, I can imagine. Uh, and then Greg Jennings broken leg scores on the Saints. Greg Jennings caught that shit He's right. Let's play the game But dawg earlier, dude, the nigga broke his fucking leg How is he running with a broken leg? Look at this nigga holding this shit, though dawg, he put the team on his back dawg, let's go inside the mind of a greg jennies

dawg, I gotta do this shit. I put the team my fucking back, though My leg broke. I don't know how the fuck I'm running right now, though. I'll do this shit for madden Oh shit Darren Sharper One of the most hardest hitting safeties in the league But I put the team on my back, dude Fuck it. You can't stop me cross the plane

Touchdown Okay, yeah team on his problematic now with Darren Sharper in there hardest hitting safety in the league the marsh on lynch one It's great, too. Yeah, um, okay I'll go with I'll go with the Antoine Dodson. Okay What is it? What is the what is line? Uh hide your kids hide your wife? Yep. Well Obviously, we have a rapist in lincoln park. He's climbing in your windows

He's snatching your people up trying to rape him So y'all need to hide your kids Had your wife and had your hood because they raping anybody out here. He says something else after that He says some things that you can't say. Yeah, okay. We'll put that in so we didn't say it now He's he's fighting against the bagel boss guy. See that's that's the best part about the old youtube is like if you got viral You became a celebrity forever. You were really really dumb. Yeah, you were dumb. You were really really dumb All right, so now I got two rapping around the snake. I'm gonna go with So I've got my last two. All right. I'm gonna do a chocolate rain. Okay

taste on day, okay Banger of a song if we're being honest, okay, and then my last one is going to be Sean Taylor biting up the punter brian mormon in the pro bowl. Okay with the japanese version Tag on at the end of the announcers freaking out after the hit. Okay. Okay my last pick Now, what do I do hank? I so I'll I'll explain the the problem. I'm in pft There's one video that I love more than any other video on youtube The person in the video has recently unblocked me and said that I have no more chances left If I mention it here, you want me to mention it that way? No, no, no, no, no, I think even you mentioned it might get

I'll get blocked. No, I think I'll get blocked too. I think that that's how the block hammer works at this person You're already gonna get blocked just for going down just for even saying this So let me just say That is why I'm leaving this that's why I'm not saying this video Okay, because I he also said that he would come on part of my take and I think for the betterment of this show I will take a bullet here and not say what I want to say. Okay, and at no point At no point will you say will I say it? at no point

Okay, my last pick Um, phew I will go with ooh i'm gonna go with uh zombie kid likes turtles back here live at the waterfront village with my friend the Zombie jonathan you're looking good jonathan just got an awesome face paint job. What do you think? I like turtles All right, you're a great zombie The uh reporter just being like I fucked up so bad interviewing this kid is her face just makes it makes it I don't know see i'm i'm gonna go with my actual pick I could go with a pandering pick, but i'm gonna go with whatever you want the wiz Khalifa atl freestyle

Okay, okay. Hey, you know what i'm saying. Yes, you know what video i'm talking about that might have been You know what you just did you know what hank just did pft what he pandered But we are we're too old to realize he pandered I don't know how that's a pandering pick right he went no no, but i could i could i was gonna do wait Is it over now? Yeah, it's over. It's over. I was gonna do i was gonna do i was gonna do drinking out of cups Oh, which is more of a liam a general general well-known video the way liam nodded means that hank just did the He just has he hate us. He's like i'm not gonna pander then he pandered to a younger audience that we aren't aware of Oh, so he threw us off the track. Yes, he pandered. Yes

You'd be fake pandered. Yes I'm not gonna pander but here's a pic that you guys are too old to know about But everyone else will me Khalifa spits hot fire. Yeah, cool hank. Yeah, okay. I'll get that one. Um, all right mrs Um drinking out of cups drinking out of cups great lady great lady was the first youtube video I think I ever watched uh it was like 2004 Okay goes entire catalog. Okay, they put out like three videos in a row They did the treble one then they did the one where they're like doing the rube goldberg machine. Yep. Uh dramatic chipmunk Yeah, that's a good one George Brett shitting his pants

See, I didn't know is that like a you known as a uh viral youtube video or not? I think it is I have no idea. Don't both slice. Kimbo slice. Just the whole his whole that was some kind of directory though Yeah, his whole catalog salad fingers Remember salad fingers. No, I don't know if I remember salad fingers It's kind of it was like a weird trippy cartoon. Um, the entire genre It was like ASMR before ASMR now that I think about it of hitler Reacting to things. Yes, uh, santa getting shot. You guys know that one. I don't know that one

Oh, the fucking who else seen the leprechaun say? Yeah. Yeah, that one. Fuck santa getting shot in uh washing dc That he's walking down the street like waving to people and he just gets shot by a pelican in his ass I have not seen that It was yes. Yeah. No, he's doing the news report. Yes. All of a sudden he has great characters. Yeah Uh, David after the dentist god damn. Uh-huh. It's a little pg for me. No, no big deal Yeah, I didn't I didn't put that one. I didn't put Charlie Charlie figure don't taze me bro Don't taze me bro. It's very here. Oh, here's one that I contemplated leave britney alone Yep, that's one, uh, the best street party kid. Cory Worthington from australia. Yes, that dude is famous glasses

Absolutely. Now. I'm not gonna take these glasses off. Yeah. Have me throw the party. Why don't you pull Joyce? If you bring me on your stupid show Um, all right, so I'm sure we left a bunch off. Uh, you can tweet us which ones we we missed Uh, when a bagel man was the other other one. Oh, yeah Yeah, I went a bagel man the ala the alabama leprechaun. Oh, that's a big miss. We sold shirts. Yeah Yeah, we'll it did you guys see the uh, will it blend segment? Yeah, they used to do like it was a recurring thing Yep, and it wasn't that great

But I'll be damned if I didn't watch every single one to see if it was going to blend Yeah, deep cut. Uh, the case straws guy. Do you remember him? He he's basically a comedian that got on local access news channels And uh, like said, he was a yo-yo master. Yeah experts at one of the funniest things one of the funniest video series He just basically showed up and would just suck at it And then uh, and everyone was like, was this guy for real? He just hacked his way into these things All right, so we'll put that out there tweet us which ones we missed Let's get to our interview. We have cody co and noelle miller

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Okay, here they are codico and noelle miller Okay, we now welcome on uh noelle miller and codico. What's good. They are yeah. Oh, shit You guys have very good camera wear. Yeah, we lack that entirely on the show Uh, should I say you guys are tubers? Well, how do you? I mean that because you guys are very funny guys and you are really good at critiquing the like bad parts of the internet So then to introduce you as tubers kind of seems lame. Oh, thank you Right because professional youtubers. Yeah, I mean like yeah, I would say we on the other show

We we describe ourselves as the the bad boys of the internet. Okay Well, we're gonna have a bad boy turf war Yeah, I know what they said too. They basically our producer hank said that you guys are us West coast us. Okay without the sports. Oh, okay. Yeah, so yeah, we talk about sports. It's just like more curling and Yeah Or I talked to him about MMA and his eyes go glass and I'm like, yeah, let's talk about dicks That's really what happens. Yeah, so are you UFC guy? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'll see Here we go. Yeah, what are your thoughts on greg hardy? He fucking sucks, bro. I don't know why they give him a

We're saying that it would be nice to just have him get his ass kicked I just want to see him like put him in the ring with like a bunch of wolves or some shit. I know Cades skull it. Yeah. Why does Dana give him a chance? Yes. Yeah. All right. That's our UFC talk So youtubers, I feel like sometimes youtubers get a bad rap. Although it's kind of it's kind of deserved at times But just the name youtubers. Yeah, it's like a lame title, right? Yeah, yeah I mean, we are youtubers, but like we do now we do a lot more than that. Like I was like podcast podcast Yeah, music we do live shows all the time now. So it's it's um entertainers. I would say yeah I like your uh, I like your song short Kings anthem. Oh, thank you as a fellow short king myself

It's like, yeah, we've gotten a bad rap for a long time. It's like, you know, we can suck a titty standing up I like that. Exactly. It's very nice. Yeah, it's dope. And then bagel boss went fucked it all up He did he really he set us back three 300 years. Well, he's also declared himself to be the MLK of short people We have to disavow we have to uniformly all as real short kings disavow bagel boss man. Yeah I looked up. I was looking at Don't ask me why successful short dudes and like top 10 was like gangist con hitler I was just like, oh shit all the most horrible people. He's angry. Yeah, we're tiny. Yeah, James Madison though There you go. You wrote the constitution. There you go. Okay, shout out. Um, all right, so so I wanted to

Talk quickly about the transition from vine to youtube that you guys made because vine Every now and then I'll actually sit back and be like, man, I miss vine. Yeah, that was a whole world that uh I feel like we don't even have any of the content from it anymore Yeah, it's like it's like you have little like Floating bits of it, but no, it's not like that. Yeah. I mean, I I miss it. Yeah, it definitely was like, uh Yeah, there's definitely still like a gap Like where vine used to be right like nothing is filled it right like tick tock maybe like there's like there's a couple good videos on tick tock now Those people are so good. God damn. No, I know most of it is fucking bizarre. If you buy an android phone

It's preloaded on there, right? That's why you get that's why you get the weirdest fucking people. It's like the it's like the u2 Song that they gave everyone when they bought like an ipod Windows 98 or 2000 or xp was preloaded with beck. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, you're like Actually surprised me that nobody's recreated vine It seems like it'd be a pretty simple app to like just redo right because people loved it I think for the most part vine was a popular app. It's just twitter didn't want to keep it up You know what? I feel like vine was it was just like shareable snapchats like people post it that now They would they would not want lasting forever

But that's what was good about vine as someone with like a hundred followers If you're like, look at me ashing the cigarette on my boyfriend and then yeah a million trillion There's a there's there is a second version. I think that the guy who found that it is working on He was working on and then he shut it down and now he's back working on it again Yeah, and I don't know it'll be interesting if it feels like the biggest gap is like the whole vine stars The people who became super famous for these like six second clips and then never had a Something else, you know what I mean? Like they're lost as well. You guys obviously went to youtube Podcasts are successful in a million different ways. I feel like there's a whole

Group of people who are super successful on vine and then history has just lost them Yeah, I mean like our yeah, we started in mag con. That's how we got our star Do you know what mad con is? Now I feel like a loser. No, no, no, let's talk about UFC again Trust me you're cooler for not knowing what this is Yeah, no mad con was a weird thing where they took like basically a bunch of fuckboys from vine There's some dude and he made like a touring business out of these like it was like a boy band with no music It was like the Lou Pearl men of vine. Yeah, yeah, yeah making money off all their names. I like I like the business model

Yeah, and he and he took like these young dudes around and and like he would just sell meet and greet tickets And it was like real creepy But they were and they're always at like the convention or like the the convention rooms at like the hilton and stuff like that Yeah, yeah, and then like girls would line up to meet them and then do they would do this thing or like They had like a lot of moves, right? They're pretty sick But they had one where they would wrap their hands around someone's face And put the thumbs on the lips and then kiss what just their thumbs. So it's not sexual assault

This is what the world is missed. Yeah, like vine is Was that run by the same guy that that started that apartment complex that he just ran it out to vine stars I remember reading an article about Oh the one on vine street. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no, I think it's a different dude, but Maybe the same maybe I made a wrong RIP vine So do you guys you guys obviously like live online and a lot of your you know, this is cringe videos that you put up are Talking about the internet and the weird culture on the internet. Sorry for the sirens We have a sweet ass studio where you can just hear sirens every single second

Do you guys ever Get like bummed out looking at the internet too much because that happens to me every now and then where I'm like, man, this sucks um Yeah, I mean like, I don't know. No, no Still do it. Okay. I'm just good. That's a good answer. Yeah, I think I've seen too much We had for instance on last show Someone tweeted that they

Figured out that the office every character except jim pam and oscar voted for trump and now he's like depressed about it Oh, really that like you're at this point where the internet like depresses you this much where It it just it's such a weird concept to me to have the internet Fuck your brain up so much that you can hate something you used to love And I feel like that's how you get deep into the internet. You get to these people where it's like, what how's this real world? Yeah, I mean like one thing that kind of I guess like would start to bum me out is when I'm like digging too hard for things to Like that's that's what this format sort of like Requires you to do and like after a while it's just like

So that's why we've started making like different types of videos and stuff like that and You know making more music and stuff because it's like It's more fun than just digging for videos to make right, right, right? Right, you get to like depress you a little right you get to a point where you get to almost like too deep into the internet These people are real. Yeah You ever have a conversation with a friend who is not online at all? And then you realize how trivial and inconsequential some of the shit that you care about actually Yeah, there was something I think usa today had like a front page article

Last week about what a wife guy is So there's this like trend on the internet of like people making content out of their wives the wife that fell down a cliff the other week Yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah The wife that got an email sent to him and and they call these guys wife guys now, which I guess really are just husbands But it's got an internet term for it now And there's an article on the front page of usa today And if you weren't online and you read that you would be like what fucking world am I living in? Like sometimes you get too down into the weeds to like really understand how fucked up your brain gets online online, you know

Yeah, yeah 100% yeah, definitely you we It's funny now because As people watch like, you know Us like reactive videos and stuff and they'll send us stuff and say you guys should react to this And it's just like some person with like a thousand subscribers Who's maybe just like a little clueless or like not self-aware and it's like you just want us to blow this guy's life up and right and yeah Like yeah, what he's doing is weird, but Jesus christ. We're not just gonna look at this moron over here Right, right. You have some responsibility finding that line. Um, how much you guys are both from canada

How much has that helped? Uh, you know like critique. I guess internet culture is internet culture But I feel like a lot of this is americans being very very weird. Yeah, I'm like fake canadian I was born in toronto, but I moved to la like really young. Okay. You're like kawai. Yeah. Yeah pretty much Cody, you're real canadian. Yeah, I'm a real You're all the way there. Yeah. Yeah. Is the canadian internet different? Is it the same? It's just everything ends in dot ca That's weird What are the canadian pranks just like uh paying for somebody's paying too much for somebody's coffee paying for someone's tim hortons

Yeah, exactly. That's what it is a moose in your backyard. Yeah I actually saw an awesome moose content video the other day just a moose chilling out Oh, I saw the front yard. Yeah in a sprinkler. It was so hot that the moose was just like laying down on a sprinkler Yeah, we get that all the time. They're like they're pretty much there. No I have seen moose like Like plenty and like Banff and should like that though. Oh, here's a bad one huge. Yeah Was the canadian snow white just moose instead of deer. They replaced bambi with a moose Disney just doubling down. You could honestly tell me anything about canada and I'll I'll believe it

Yeah, I know that it's only a couple hundred miles away, but you could seriously be like Moose are actually the ones that animate all the cartoons up there. Yeah Elephants for the paintbrush. Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I'm curious with this because I think we have a similar feeling of At what point were you like, yo, this is actually a job and we can do this full time because we kind of got we Went ass backwards into this profession And eventually along the way we're like wait This actually pays well and telling people you're a podcaster isn't super embarrassing even though it still is What do you do? I'm a podcaster

But at what point we were like this actually is a profession now Because it's totally new new profession, you know 10 years ago. Yeah tubers weren't real. Yeah. Yeah shoot um Well, it started with kody had he Got a his visa changed. So we used to be software engineers So he because his visa changed he had to quit and he had to become like an entertainer So it's kind of we were kind of still making videos together and he was figuring it out And then um, we really weren't making that much money. No, it wasn't enough like coming from being

Software engineers. We're like having a salary great salary. Yeah, and then basically switching to okay. Let's like What's really trying to figure out how to make money on content and at that point it was like, you know youtube videos we were like Monetizing but like not nearly enough right live in LA right and and and so then I got About a year into that. I got laid off from my job As an engineer, but we were working at the same company and kody said Don't get a job. Let's like let's go for broke like fuck it and so we started a podcast and then Thankfully like we started a patreon and that kind of like put some stability in there From there we were able to build on top of that

Um, I I guess we both would feel a little bit like because we're so new to it. It's not like official. It's not there yet Yeah, yeah, so we feel like we have to hustle real hard. Yeah make sure it's you know, it's lasting Right, right. What do you what? How would you describe what you do to somebody if you're just like meeting somebody new on the streets or something? software engineer I still dabble in code. Yeah And I do comedy on the side Was there ever any point where you were like a little bit nervous to putting to be putting so many eggs in like youtube's basket

Like their monetization baskets like if they change their algorithm or their business model or something It's gonna fuck with us. Yeah, but that's the reason why uh, there's so many like ways to monetize now If you're like a creator that um, it forced us to like figure out different streams Like yeah, when youtube like when it was going through that apocalypse shit That's why I started a podcast because it was like longer form stuff was easier to monetize And and so like it just forces you to kind of adapt which I think is like any anything. Yeah Do you guys ever uh, do the fake videos on youtube where it's like an explosive headline and then it's just a static picture or someone I love those. We've tried those when like the mafia boss got shot and killed in Staten Island

We put up a youtube on our channel that was like Explosive footage of mafia boss gunned down and then it was just his picture His wikipedia underneath those always get me. It's always get me. I'm sure you've been in like you've hit them Such bullshit, but it works. I'm looking at like rapper beef. It's like uh, yeah, uzi vert knocks out Cardi like oh shit. This is a picture of his instagram. Yeah, and he's like Here are my thoughts on uzi vert. Yeah some random dude talking for 12 minutes about it and this fucking headphone microphone Scratchiest shit. Yes I'll watch the whole thing. Yeah

When you started you have to say like hey, what's up guys? Is that like that's code for youtube, right? Yeah, you have to say it. It's youtube requires it. Hey guys It's in their bylaws It's like the pledge of allegiance, but like for youtube You can always also just like if you're if one of your videos isn't doing as well as you thought It'll be just add gone wrong at the end of it. Yeah, like like or a band commercial. Those always do well too Yeah, just toss those in headlines. Yeah, both sexual. Yeah. Yeah gone sexually wrong. Yeah gone. Sexually wrong is a good one Yeah, and commercial. Yeah, uh, what do you think is the reason why people do so much dumb shit online and put it online?

That's a good question. I mean, I think that's kind of man So we do like a series called steamy tweets on my channel and the way I would describe it is like People don't realize the internet's available to everyone I think it's like some people upload stuff thinking that the internet is like It's just their part of the internet and it's like no man. Someone's gonna find that put that on a blog Uh, so I think that's what it is. Also. I just think there are people that just want that attention. Yeah, true. They're after it True Have you ever

Uploaded something that was actually cringe on your part that then you got roasted for and you're like, oh, shit It's not so fun being on this side of it. Um, we've done a bunch of cringy stuff Yeah, but if you if you like I think if you make yourself the butt of the joke Like we don't take ourselves too seriously. That's what we do Yeah, I think the way that I just said cringe as a 34 year old guy was probably pretty fucking crazy No, it's true though making yourself the butt of your joke and Because that's what I love about the internet is I laugh about all these idiots But I realized too if I were 22, I'd probably do the same shit. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah

If I was a bored teenager, I'd probably be saying the same shit. Yeah I mean that that's also it like you think about I don't know when you're like fucking 16 and someone's dad had a camera And you're like, let's make videos. Yeah, all those videos are dumb as fuck. Yeah awful Or you see your favorite porn star on twitter and you're like, maybe I'll just shoot my shot Yeah, yeah, it might work Off our amazon wishlist. Yeah, and then yeah, yeah shot at her. Yeah, which doesn't work Or you just send her the follow-up cash app like hey, I think you missed my amazon gift. Just want to say again Yeah, I got that for you. Really love you. Yeah. Really want to talk to you. Just show me the feed

Or it'd be just you know, I could just you know, lick your feet or whatever. Yeah, whatever you want Just send you a bunch of money So hank wrote a bunch of questions for us here because hank is a big fan of yours hank. Do you have any questions for him? Just the ones I wrote for you guys just want. Thank you hank. Um, here's a good one from hank You guys make your own beats. By the way, do you guys do you know pro tools? Oh, yeah, can you mix a song? I've got a I've got a music video coming out tomorrow And our fucking studio guy just decided not to show up today. I'm pretty terrible at mixing. Yeah Yeah, no, we have two producers

Shout out spock and diamond pistols. They um, they make all our beats diamond pistols is a sweet. Yeah That is pretty sweet. Yeah, sunny digital makes all of our beats. Yeah I don't know if you guys know him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think I've heard no he actually does Yeah, yeah, we're actually we just once a year. He makes a beat for it. I said we back into this shit We've done two songs with him and like just hang out with him anytime So is that the one coming out tomorrow? No, this is this is one that we just recorded like down the street Oh, yeah, I'm gonna call projects. It's chonk that came out in uh, February I save all my trap shit for part of my take and then I do uh, pop punk songs on my own

So, yeah, we gotta figure out a way to get that fucking song mix though Um, I have to apologize to you Noel because you got verified on twitter. Well, what was a few months ago? Yeah, yeah, all right So you tweeted I'm just verified on twitter and now I'm ready to like yell at some airlines And that's been my brand for really long times that I just help No, no, no, no, it's it's you were spot on if you're verified on twitter You are legally obligated to yell at like delta and american airlines when your boarding takes 10 minutes longer than you thought So I but I uh yell on behalf of other people. So if people are having problems blue checkmarks

I always hop in and just tell like delta. I'm gonna skull fuck you unless you fix this And then you asked to collab and I I somehow missed the message But I also remember looking in are you actually a vegan? No, no, no, okay So you gotta take that out because when I saw you were vegan. I was like this guy sucks I swear to god. I saw vegan in the profile. I was like, I don't like this guy I don't I don't want anything to do with him swear to god. I thought the sarcasm was obvious Oh, I yeah, you didn't understand my sarcasm. I didn't understand yours that word jumps out though. Yes If you see that in a sentence or whatever, it's like, that's the one you should take it out

Yeah, all right. You could be missing out on a lot of business opportunities. Yeah, I said I'm the first vegan with s Yeah He's like never mind his ass Vegan I thought I thought being a fake vegan with s would be Would be a like a I don't know a first. Yeah. Are you are you have you yelled at an airline yet? Uh, yeah, I fucking got in America American Airlines ass over dms. Yes. They got fucked our day up Oh, I wish I had found out I would have skull fucked. Yeah. Yeah. I'm actually probably on a list because I actually do tweet Like American Airlines saying I'm gonna skull fuck you. They've definitely tried to fix you on the FBI

No, yeah, and if you look at my dms It's all to like Delta and American Airlines asking them to telling them they need to fix someone else's flight So it's never mine. Yeah, it's usually a journal. Does it work? Do they fix? Well, the the joke is that they will usually respond and then I'll just take credit for being like see got it done Yeah, obviously doesn't nothing gets fixed ever on these stupid like online. You know, they don't give a shit No, they don't give a fuck. I always love how when airlines respond to you on twitter The person that does it always puts their initials at the end of the tweet. Yeah, it is from hk. Oh, yeah, I know hk Oh

Yeah, right, right. Oh, yeah, it's a remarkably good typer But I apologize for that because I I'm being totally honest the vegan thing threw me off I don't think I'll ever collab with a vegan. Okay, god. I'm just being totally honest Well, you can you can know that I'm not vegan. Thank god. Yeah, probably have collabed with the vegan You just don't know yet. Well, I want to take that back. Yeah, that's cringe. Retroactive That's very cringe What do people most commonly recognize you from if you're walking down the street? Um, um, it's a mix like Like we can tell who is it like sort of like a fan of what like based on what they say

Yeah, so if it's like a cum joke podcast listener Right if they scream sugar gay it's youtube Of course, yeah, yeah, and then uh, no one's like really Like knows us just for music. So I'll get I'll get real bros. Yeah Which is weird because like people will people that one takes takes a second for people They'll look at me like Because like for people on youtube like they watch our shit all the time They look at my face all the fucking time, right? So it's like they're they'll just freak out right away

They'll know but like real bros. It's like People just like I think that's him. Yeah Wade I'm like, yeah, what's up there? Do you burn? Which by the way, there's no funny answer to that. No, no, no, it's not that fucks me up because I can't say anything That's funny in response to that. Well, you could just be like Of course I burned. Yeah, but then they're like, uh

No, you don't What am I supposed to say let's put it back on them. Just be like, do you burn? Yeah? Yeah, you don't even burn No, you should just carry a bong around and be like, yes Let's go right now. Yes Is it weird for you guys being in that this is probably another similarity where You're you have a level of fame where people recognize you but like we don't feel famous But people look at our faces all the day all all the time. Yeah recognize us Yeah, but yeah, and then the best is when someone will say something to us

And then there'll be a random person be like, who are you? Yes, and I'm like, well, I can't really explain it. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. We I hate that. It's so much dude that happened to me in starbucks the other day this girl I'm like waiting in line. It's like, you know peak 10 a.m. Whatever peak time So it's like giant line and I'm waiting there and this girl like walks by the window and she's like She runs in and it's like can I get a picture and I'm like sure so she takes a selfie and leaves and the guy behind me He's like, what do you do, man? Yeah I'm like I'm a youtuber

Oh When they're staring at you trying to figure out what it is you do that that person just recognized I want to always know what's going through their head like a process of elimination. It's like for me the guys usually like Uh, maybe kid rock stunt double or like something Shit like that, but it's like it's never when I when I tell them like, oh, I do a podcast There's like such disappointment. They're like, oh, I thought I was next to a celebrity It happened to us at a Dodgers game We were out in LA and we we both had taken edibles before we got to the game

And then we're in a long line For concessions and these two kids came up and asked for a picture And then there's two like 60 year old dudes standing next to us Asked us every question they could think oh God Business question you're a business guy. So like what's your uh, what's your ROI right now on new hires? Like how do you decide when to hire like a new producer for the show? I don't know Ice cream. I'm like, yeah, I want the ice cream out of the helmet. That's I'm just trying to get a fucking helmet

Yeah, and we just tell everyone we make 75,000 dollars a podcast each So there's like there's an article once that was like part of my take makes $15 million a year and then everyone did the math like what you make 75,000 dollars a podcast like yep Yeah, give us a big check right after Yeah, yeah, it's one it's like an actual lottery. Yeah, right. Yeah every single time. Yeah job He did another episode confetti. We take a picture every single time Uh, all right. I got one last question ck question put in promo code take you get $10 off ck purchase Uh, who are you guys beefing with we want to get a beef like going shoot, man

Because it always is good when you get the when we get the residual beef So if you go off on someone on our show then everyone be like you got to listen to what they said on part of my take Oh, okay. You guys get real big guests. I feel like we should just aim for somebody. Yeah. Fuck Jake Gyllenhaal. Okay Yeah, I've heard he's kind of a dick like the whole method acting thing. It's like dude chill out. We get you weren't actually in the military Yeah, yeah, I was joking, but you really know we don't like no no no No, we're on your side like fuck that like it's stolen valor basically what he does to just try to play badass characters all the time His sister's a better actor than him. Yeah, Maggie's way better. Maggie's an incredible actor. Was she in Batman? Yeah Yeah, Jake's awesome. Jake's just riding his sister's coattails

Everybody in hollywood knows it and they always talk about it, but nobody has the balls to say it, but we do Us four together. Cody you just know. No, dude. That was crazy when you just did. Hey watching. I got no problem with you I don't think it's stolen valor. Have you guys gotten in beefs like internet beefs? No, but I have to say telling an actor that he's doing a military movie is stolen valor is so good Like god forbid I ever run into anybody motherfucking get him. Yeah. Who did uh, chris kyle? What's his name? Oh, uh, Bradley Cooper. Yes big. Yeah, big cuss his ass out. Yeah, please do I mean, also, they're they're taking jobs away from veterans that are actors. Yeah, exactly cosplay as a soldier Yeah, yeah, you fucking weenie. Yeah looking pretty on camera for what? What did you do? You didn't do shit

Jarhead sucked. We just gotta we gotta get better internet Donnie Darko is a fake deep movie too. Everybody always talks about donnie darko. Yeah, I mean that's like every 14 year old's favorite movie Yeah, exactly. I saw it. Yeah. Be for vendetta my carry, but like makes you think oh the guys wearing a bunny head sick Okay. Yeah, but it makes you think it's very deep All right, so we're officially beefing with jake chillin. That works. You guys got us in that beef. Yeah, you talk We're trying to get you to beam to a ladder. Okay. I just said it as a joke and now we're actually beefing with jake I don't want to beef with on the internet There's got to be other tubers

Everyone that we like everyone that we make fun of is is pretty fucking cool Like I remember you saw the kombucha video that we did but we like basically ripped on this like forbes video that they did Uh On the founder of kombucha or the guy that first bottled it in america So he's like a billionaire from bottling kombucha. Okay. Yeah, and so the forbes video makes him out to be like this beverage Villain, yeah Like he's sitting in his like house like petting his rabbit and shit like that So we we ripped on the video and we're like making fun of you know, we're making fun him a little bit too

And he damned us right afterwards and was like the nicest guy was like dude. This is so funny come over to my place Let's let's film the follow-up video. Yeah, like that's most of the people that we like Are like, you know in like fake beefs or whatever like are really cool. So you guys are us Yeah, we do the exact we bully jj watt where we basically bully him into an interview and made fun of him And then we raised money for his foundation so that he would do an interview and now we're actually like he's a good guy We realized is there any point where like you meet somebody that you've ragged on you? Like I really wanted to hate you. Yeah, but it turns out you're cool

Yeah, I mean like it kind of starts that way we when we start Uh When we roasted the kid maddy smokes We thought he was going to be like a bit of a douche and like like a like a shitty kid It turns out he's like the sweetest kid so nice, man. Just like he would hit us. I was like, yeah, you want to play fortnite? Oh Damn it. Yeah, that's you're going to be like a dickhead. Yeah, that was hot boxing jewel, right? Yeah. Yeah I feel like that's perfect internet culture though, too

Where you just hate someone for a video you see them in and then you meet them You're like, okay, you're a nice person. Yeah, and I miss us all the time. Yeah. Yeah, which is kind of cool Right, it is like there's there's more like content and stuff. It reminds you how fake like the internet world is totally Yeah, yeah 100. Yeah. Um, all right. We'll talk dr. Phil. Oh, what's up? Oh, yeah We had a bunch of yeah, we fucked them up. Yeah, we put his brain into a problem We I like you like you We fucked him they took him in a van PFT got him on reverse psychology and I just kept on in the middle of the interview being like, are you okay? Are you happy?

What so we fucked him we destroyed his brain Afterwards, he was feeling so low. He had to like show us his clay court tennis court that he plays on every day It basically challenged us to a game of tennis so that he could defeat us at something We were we offered a mentally yeah I mean we do that thing in the back of the van where if you're in the back of we we like cram people into a van So they really have nowhere to go. Yeah, and then it just becomes the physical Like closeness makes it so they cannot dodge any question. Yeah, kidnapping is actually a very good Yeah, it is. Wow. What a thought. Yeah, I want to I want to do that party or show

Yeah, we'll do it next time we're in LA. We'll we will bring the van because that's what we did Oh, you really do that. It was yeah, we actually had a show that got canceled on espn But uh, yeah, we get into a van. Oh beef. Fuck. Yes. Yeah Fuck yes. Yeah, there we go. You know what? You know what? You know what? Fuck yes. Yeah, that's what they're doing at the ufc. That's a dumb stupid fucking model It makes no sense. Where the fuck you put the fights some fights. I can't buy it Yeah, you can't buy it or you can't buy it and it's on slang But then you go to slang and it played three hours earlier. Yes, that shit sucks. There we go

Better there's the beef check out the zone instead. Yeah, there's a bsp in yeah, but get yeah We get people in the back of vans and then we just kind of Fuck them up mentally inside a true business model. Yeah. Yeah, it's like bang bus, but just your mind. Yeah, yeah Verbal bang bus Skull fuck. Um, all right, we pull up in the van in hollywood. Yeah, they find celebrities and like kevin hard They're like you want to make 500 bucks. Yeah, you want to make some money big boy. Yes Wait, there's a camera and I get paid for it. Fuck. Yes All right, boys. Thank you so much. This is fun. Thank you. Yeah

Appreciate you stopping by and we got a collab on some skull fucking. Yeah, let's do it next time. Just let me know I'll get in I will I may never fly again. Anytime we have airline problems now. We know who I'm the one I will get an answer and then I'll pat myself on the back to take a victory lap and be like job. Well done All right, boys. Thanks. Thank you. Thanks guys That interview was brought to you by noble. It's time to demand more from your workout gear I'm actually wearing my noble shoes right now. They don't even look like workout gear They just look like sleek sneakers, but they're super comfortable You need to demand more from your workout gear the more you demand from yourself

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Clinton body count Yes, Hank Hank actually pulled me aside earlier today because this was trending on twitter and was like What is the Clinton body count and Hank? What did you think that it was you were like excited to find out about it? Yeah, I mean I thought I was talking about sex I thought it was like, you know kids these days and they talk about like what your number is They'll be like what's your body count, right? So I thought it was gonna be like a funny hashtag with like, you know some scandalous like what you could actually it could have been with Right, Bill Clinton. I thought that's what I was like. Oh, shit. This is gonna be funny. Ha ha ha

One brace debate 45,000 tweet and I was like, uh has bill Clinton killed more people than he's fucked Mmm, so I don't know so so it just it's a theory that just started So, yeah, this started I'd say back in like the mid 90s people freaked out because they thought that the clintons were murdering all their Political adversaries right and former friends Um, it started with the guy that made the white water deal with him. Shit. I forget I'm the guy's name is skipping my mind right now, but it's pursued to this day And uh, so anytime anybody around the clintons dies, they're like, oh the clintons killed him again This is this is hillary hillary can't beat donald trump in an election

But you can get away with like two dozen murders So this is because jeffrey eppstein Was like maybe committed to try to commit suicide or got beat up I think he was just jacking off and was doing an autocratic stuff if we're the worst of the worst human beings But yeah, he was on the floor of his jail cell and so that's why it got brought up again But this is I always just assume like house of cards was written about the clintons I think it kind of was right, but then you but then you have to think like biopic if this was true Anthony weeners dick would at least be cut off by now if not killed entirely true true

So there's like some there's enough So basically we can prove that the clintons didn't murder a bunch of people by the fact that there's still a few people alive Yes, anytime that's a good defense anytime anthony weeners weiner pops up Yeah, it does several times a year that is all the proof that you need that there you go Although I would I would really like to see hilly clinton try to kill somebody. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, what's that moves? Breaking moves. Hey, what do you have? A lot of cows in the kitchen today. Uh, the Celtics actually just signed taco fall, which is exciting. Okay, and that wasn't the breaking That was expected, right? Well, that just happened two seconds ago

Literally like as I was saying breaking moves But the other breaking moves that also just happened is that the song of the summer music video has finally dropped Nice it did finally drop it dropped a day late, but it's I think it was worth the wait Well worth it shout out to probably the best barcel video. I've seen like quality wise very good Buddha ben really strung it together for us Yeah, the song of the summer is out now We just decided that we would write a song called the song of the summer kind of a little like cheek go there smart Yeah, I mean you listen if you're listening to this right now and you haven't heard the song in the summer

You're a loser and we'll put it at the end of the show and we'll put at the end of the show There's only one way to fix it and then we'll make you a winner. Yeah into the show. Yeah, look at that And pft. Don't you have a concert coming up? Good question big kid. I do saturday on long island, right? I nailed it that time inside of long island at mokay's saturday night. We will see you there We're playing. I think like 24 songs. Whoa, you'll know the words the most concert and if you don't that's fine Just get really drunk and puke on us. Hell. Yeah, it's punk as fuck song of the summer And people can people sing along to someone's summer you better sing along hell. Yeah, hell. Yeah, they will Uh, what was it? What was that thing way pointing us?

Wait, you're supposed to read the Oh, yeah, hang on cut this good producing. No, keep this. I didn't actually bring up Keep all this in. Um, so while pft looks for the chocolate milk ad Uh song of the summer. Okay, he's Uh, yeah nailed it and on long island in long island. Okay barstool built by chocolate milk. Hank, you've done a great job Educating the awl is about how chocolate milk is delicious and it helps with recovery since this is the last story for a while Why don't you tell everyone what they should go out and buy why they should go out and buy more chocolate milk? Using the words capital and sabbatical. Let's go

You got this. Listen You're at your job right now. It's summer. It's hot as fuck. You don't want to be here. You're about to get it You're gonna want to go into your boss's office and say i'm taking a sabbatical Yeah, let's see what they say. See what they say. They might they might just be like, all right. See you in a year Big shocker. Hank knows what sabbatical means and then just with a capital f say f u on the way out Get some chocolate milk and enjoy the weather. Hell. Yes. That's good. Hey way to go I'd a art teacher take a sabbatical ones and that's what that's your inspiration I knew like everyone says like they're like, oh my english teacher in ninth grade really made me love books

Your art teacher taking a long vacation made you love vacations. It just no, that's how I knew what it meant I think that's part of the job description like if you're an art teacher You just end up you get high for like a month and call it a sabbatical Find yourself sabbatical actually just means like if somebody is too important to whatever company for you not to fire them You just say they're taking a sabbatical until things things cool down for a while. Urban Meyer's taking sabbatical Yeah, his entire life is just jobs and then something happens and he takes a sabbatical and then another job Yeah, uh, so learn more at built with chocolate milk.com. Thank you. Hank. That was wonderful. Uh, all right next up before we do jimbos It's louisiana. Who cares?

We know louisiana. It's louisiana. Who cares who cares louisiana? Who cares louisiana? It's louisiana. Who cares? I had it. Well, who cares? Which way I do it? Yeah, good point Well, nobody in louisiana does right because uh death valley just announced today That they are going to sell beer and wine inside the general seating areas at tiger stadium in 2019 I love it. I love it too. Take every lsu home game not that you wouldn't anyway But the crowd is going to be very loud never gonna never gonna waver and some people are saying it's not a great idea To them I say who cares and also Fuck you. Fuck you. You don't know shit about louisiana. If you think this is a bad idea

Go take a sabbatical bitch. Yeah, because would you rather have 90 000 sober louisianans in a stadium? Probably not. Nope It's like would you rather wander into a grizzly bear pin if they're really super hungry and they haven't eaten in a long time Nope, or if they're all fattened up on salmon Yes, exactly. You want hank caught them. You yes, you want these louisianans to be nice and liquored up It'll be more fun for everybody. Yes. I'm excited for this. I finally Finally ncba stadiums like this is ridiculous. It took this long. I'm like, hey Maybe we should sell beer. Mm-hmm at the fucking football game

I can't wait until some drunk cajun that's been like sneaking this stuff in for years calls himself the rose of parks of this Law like I've been standing up. This is injustice for bullshit. Yeah 24 years Now you can buy a course like uh hank jimbos. Let's do it the return sub fit cat boss baby pft and hank I'm a lifeguard and I have to watch little kids learn to swim The other day a preschooler was standing next to the pool and out of nowhere He fell in face first But instead of jumping in I just watched to see if he could swim back up He didn't after 10 seconds. I went in. Is that dumb or understandable?

No, it sounds like you got a little football coach in you. Totally understandable Because you just assume that he's gonna be able to swim, right? Why would you be at a pool if you can't swim? You know what you also probably saved that kid's life because that kid is gonna be terrified of water And he'll never go near another pool another lake another ocean again So he's never gonna drown you did your job This is this visual is very funny because I I think I'd do the same thing like kid falls in you're like Well, I'm I'm gonna wait and see if he's got this someone should get there. He just slowly sinks to the bottom You're like, oh fuck is someone gonna get that kid

All right next What's up guys? I was drunk and I was impulse buying plane tickets to go to the ttu n Michigan game at Ohio State They aren't even playing and then parentheses ttu n. I don't know what that is The team about north. Oh, thank you jake. That was very useful Wait, the game's not even the game's in in our continue. All right Everybody if you're listening in your car. This is not a cop pulling you over. This is pete tweet at all business pete and call him a fuckhead They aren't even playing the game at osu this year. It's a net arbor and I accidentally bought plane tickets to columbia the country

I bought plane tickets to fucking bogota. No flight insurance either. I booked a hotel room in bogota as well I'm fucked. Okay. All right little spin zone for you, buddy. Just go I've kind of been in the same Boat because I actually have two tickets for michigan state at Ohio State Uh this fall that I bought last fall when I was trying to get into the michigan vs. Ohio state game Ah, so I have those remind me to sell them. Okay. Yeah, you got to get rid of those soon. Yeah, um, that's that's a tough break But I say just go to columbia. It's a wonderful wonderful Again, not a drug guy. No, but if you want to pick a country to go to you could do a lot worse than columbia Yeah, really?

Yeah, I mean there's drugs murder Listen, I want to just make it clear I think Hank's entire knowledge about the country of columbia comes from vince making medellin in entourage and it's not wrong Two eskibars 30 for 30. No, that is wrong. No, columbia's a wonderful place. No, that is wrong. All right I got in the backseat to buckle again this i'm going raw dog here from jaco bear with me Oh, jeez I got in the backseat to buckle my son in his car to avoid a florida rainstorm

I buckled him in and couldn't get out of the car because the child lock was on I had to climb over the center console into the front seat of my below average starter vehicle Toyota corolla, and then my son told me he had to poop Which sounds like so dad problem. So you put your son in a flood. Yeah sounds a lot like the first person Yeah, it sounds bad. It sounds bad. All right. Let's do one more You got this Hank imagine if Noah just instead of an arc had just a Toyota corolla It's like yo guys everyone get in I only got a real drive only got room for insects cd player Six disc changer the world's gonna be filled with insects and small lizards my avalon had a six disc changer

Talk about luxury. I had one of those in the back of my Volvo. Oh, the machine you had to put in there. Yeah. Yeah That's that that's pretty sweet. God damn it. That's that's a big time like kids don't even know And it took like six minutes for it to change from one literally get out of the car and go to the trunk to put in New cds. All right. This is a good one. Sup PMT, but especially pft I mean impulse decision and bought a puppy last week because I thought she was cute Now I don't have time for literally anything. She bites everything in my house shits all over the floor and listens to nothing I say I know once I'm through the puppy stage I'll be happy with the impulse decision, but for now it's overwhelming

Pft. Did you get Leroy when he was a puppy and do you have any advice on taking care of a pup? I did I rescued him when he was a puppy from his parents. Yep that we're in a breeding I rescued him from his parents And the best advice I can give you about owning a puppy is just take it with you everywhere that you can And just hold it and walk with it and people you can walk into a lot of places that Like I took mine to work all the time take them out like nine times more often than you think that you have to take them Yeah, also tip because I I rescued Stella when she was nine months old. She was not house trained That's probably why the family that gave her away gave her away

But uh get like roast beef or some kind of really good meat from the deli and just give Your dog a little piece every time they go to the bathroom outside while they're going to the bathroom Yeah, that's how I got her house trained We she would literally be peeing eating roast beef out of my hand kind of a weird visual now that I'm saying it But that works Well, it helps if you're like big cat and you just walk around raw dog and lunch Like your timeless sword and you happen to have that on you But yeah, make a big deal out of it every time they go to the bathroom

Also, leave your dog in front of a tv with uh with sports on with green So that hopefully at one point your dog will acquire the sixth sense of breaking news And then one day his instagram page will pay for your future son's tuition. That's perfect. That's perfect. Um, okay That is our show we have David spade and deandre jordan on monday big couple weeks coming up Little training camp stuff. We'll tweet it out if we're going somewhere. We might be going somewhere come in to yosita Come in to well. No, probably not your city. Yeah No, I have a good. Yo, you're talking exactly to that guy. I have a good idea that guy

We are going to his city particular listeners of this show We will be in your city. Yeah you tom right now. We're coming to your city. See you buddy. Love you guys Oh It starts in june and ends in september friends We won't forget and nights we won't remember when I think of winter. I start to lose my temper. It's lame This is the song in the summer when things are funner turn it up loud It'll make you feel younger party all night and play out in the sun all day This is the song of the summer when everybody's drunker or red wine

Leasing more snow cold stutter the song's about a season just cause we wanted to pay There once was a man from Kentucky May was gay and he can suck it We wanted a hit about the summer months, but we didn't want to write to suck it punk Summer's fun. You don't have to work. Yeah, that's a special charm So we out for install the lyrics to a Siberian play party Now you wrote the song of the summer for when things are funner turn it up loud It'll make you feel younger party all night and play out in the sun all day

This is the song of the summer when everybody's drunker or red wine Leasing more snow cold stutter the song's about a season just cause we wanted to pay Cause we want to get paid Cause we want to get paid Beer, pong, flip, pups, flip and slide You pick it out with the girl and getting high Eating pizza for every lunch it's not the Sunday scaries it's a busy brunch My grandpa plans a celebrity plus his video made barstools IT

He chugged so far while he smoked a bomb Then he turned the camera and he showed his mom to get the song out of the summer From when things are funner turn it up loud It'll make you feel younger party all night and play out in the sun all day This is the song of the summer when everybody's drunker or red wine Leasing more snow cold stutter the song's about a season just cause we want to get paid Cause we want to get paid Cause we want to get paid

Go down to the beach drink beers with the crows Did you see Google score 21 trade goals? I got a new t-shirt so skip the lecture cause you're talking to a female body inspector Eating fancy food leads to diarrhea Brushes within its rights to annex the Crimea When you go swimming beware of sharks We'll be drinking vodka with the oligarch Beer's with the boys yeah

It starts in June and ends in September Friends we won't forget and nights we won't remember When I think of winter I start to lose my temper or slay This is the song of the summer when everybody's drunker or red wine Turn it up loud it'll make you feel younger party all night and play out in the sun all day This is the song of the summer when everybody's drunker or red wine Leasing more snow cold stutter the song's about a season just cause we want to get paid If we want to get paid

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