Pardon My Take - Dan Haren, Medina Spirit Is A Junky, And Hank vs Jake

Episode Date: May 10, 2021

We start the show trying to clear the air from a SHOCKING event last week between Jake and Hank (3:24 - 11:25). Medina Spirit got caught doping and Bob Baffert's explanation is hilarious (11:25 - 26:51). Who's back of the week including dick punching, Canelo Alvarez and Rory McIlroy (26:51 - 47:21). Our good friend Dan Haren joins the show to talk some baseball, no hitters, his dear pug that passed away, avoiding the dentist and pimping home runs (47:21 - 86:54). We finish with Embrace Debate with DK Metcalf and Dogecoin update after Elon Musk's SNL appearance.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have our good friend, recurring guest, Future Hall of Famer, Dan Herron. We talked to him about baseball,

some really heartbreaking news. I'll just say that, just be ready. RIP Bernie. If you're in the car with your kids, some really tough stuff to talk to him about, but we got through it. We are going to, all the people who listen to this podcast, we're gonna shoulder some of the grief

that Dan is going through. Make sure you listen to it. They'll always ask me to have Dan back on. We're gonna talk a little Kentucky Derby, because turns out maybe some steroids at play, which there's nothing funnier than a horse doing steroids, and we have a steroid issue, and it's going back to like,

when we bullied Nyquist off-line on Twitter. We have Who's Back of the Week. We have some segments, DK Metcalf, Elon Musk, Dogecoin, and we're brought to you by our friends at Chevy. The strongest, most advanced Silverado ever. It is the strongest, most advanced Silverado ever. Silverado that is strong, advanced, dependable, hardworking, and Silverado, the new Silverado,

is the biggest, boldest, and most commanding truck out there. This truck turns heads. It is a partner with grit and determination, and anything is possible, and Silverado is a partner on that. Whether you're looking for a beautiful new truck for tailgating, hauling, towing. Ooh, it's gonna be boat season soon.

Off-roading, moving day. In Green Bay. Yep, helping out your friend or family member. Road trips. The Chevy Silverado has it all. It's the greatest truck that's ever been created. I've driven a Chevy Silverado. I can attest to it.

It gets my stamp of approval, and we're still running our deal. If you whisper ever so slightly into a Chevy dealerships, salesperson's ear, and say PMT, just gonna say PMT, you will get a full tank of gas, a cup of coffee, and $100 cash, just for buying a Chevy Silverado. You have to buy the Chevy Silverado.

100 off. $100 off. No, no, it's cash. We changed it. They've got bills. They keep changing it so that we get people activated. Okay, so it's the brand new deal then. We've got a brand new promo code.

Brand new deal. So check it out, the Chevy Silverado. Regular unleaded though, don't try to get greedy and ask for premium. Seriously, the best truck ever. It is the best truck ever created. We love the Chevy Silverado. It is the strongest, most advanced Silverado ever.

So if you're someone who's out there looking for the gritty truck, the hardworking truck, well, Chevy Silverado is what you need to go for. So go check them out, Chevy Silverado. Okay, let's go. Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence

and then a lot of stuff work to be done. No place to hang alone washing and then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue and then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue. It's part of my tape, presented by Barstool Sports. Welcome to part of my tape, presented by the Chevy Silverado.

Go buy a Chevy Silverado right now. Today is Monday, May 10th. And we have something we have to discuss in this studio. Let me just play the audio real quick so that people can hear. Oh. Oh! I'm impressed from the office!

Jesus! I am the best one here! I'm impressed from the office! Oh man! And then the first thing you're gonna do when it's back, when it's back down, and what a great match! Best in the office, you're a great competitor.

This is my day. I wasn't letting them not steal that. 21 to 18, Jesus! So, I am the best. Oh, wait, wait, oh, it's playing again. I'm impressed from the office! Jesus! I am the best one here!

I'm impressed from the office! Oh man! So, you're probably saying to yourself, hey, didn't this happen on Thursday? Well, you can feel the tension in this studio, and a funny thing happened on Thursday when we taped. I think we had equal amounts of embarrassment, Jake, by becoming the number one alpha on the show,

and Hank, by being Jake's straight up bitch. So, we're now, by the way, girl boss energy? Revoke. Transfer, yeah. Revoke. Jake's got it now. I don't know how to proceed. I, this is, this has been on my mind all weekend, that Jake Marsh, our darling Jake,

is a stone cold killer. Fellas? Do you have anything to say for yourself? I feel bad for Hank. Oh my god, shut up, Jake. That makes it so much worse! I love it! I had zero intention of him getting humiliated

in the last three days. Oh my god. It just happened. It just happened. I love how every time Jake apologizes, he's trying to be serious, and he's, I think in his heart of hearts, he's coming from a good place,

but when you say things like, It doesn't really play too, it's extremely painful. I did not mean for Hank to get totally emasculated by me. I'm sorry that you feel he's got hurt, bitch. Wow. We have our own rage monster on part of my take now. I likened it to when they show when like a serial killer gets caught,

and they interview the neighbors, and the neighbors are like, Yeah, no, he's totally normal guy. Like, saw him walking the dog, like always wave to us. Yeah, he kept to himself a little bit. That's what I felt when I watched Jake scream and dominate Hank.

I didn't know that was inside of you. It comes out from time to time. I've seen it once or twice. But to that level, he's very competitive. I had also beat him, Jack McCarthy beat him previously, so I was obviously in his ear being like, Oh, you know, you were good,

but you're kind of washed. Right. And then he, yeah, he felt the pressure bad. Let me give some contact here. I'm the best in the office. I'm the best one here. I'm the best. It's Pete Webber.

It is. We have our new Pete Webber moment. Can you imagine if Tom Wilson did that? No. The fines and suspensions that everybody calls. They say kill him. Play the Pete Webber clip real quick. Are you kidding me?

That's right. Please thank you all. I am. Get it right. Real quick. Okay, now go, Jake. Yeah, so entering Thursday's match, my record was 11 and two,

but I knew if I lost, it would have been my first time losing consecutive matches. And the moment Hank had an opportunity to say I was no longer the best, he would have ran away with it. So I knew if I lost back to that. Right. So I knew it was an elephant in the room,

but I knew I'm 12 and two now. I'm the best freaking one here. All right, so, but how do we proceed? Because I like Hank is your bitch. You should actually have him on a leash. No. We're gonna play. We're gonna run it back a few weeks from now.

It's a longstanding rivalry. I used to be BFT. I had destroyed him. We had to bring in some competition. What are you talking about? I beat you the last time we played. Now we have Jake. Hank, Hank, you're on like an ice cold losing streak

to everybody that you need to be beating. All I'll say is what hurts the most, as much as it hurt losing to Jake, there was a person who was five for five going into the last contest in the Play Barstle jackpot. If I had gone, I lost 21 to 18. They were the real losers. I lost 21 to 18.

If I had just got one more point and lost 21 to 19, he would want $1,500. Hank, some of the, I saw some of those returns that you were hitting straight into the net. It was Jake didn't win that. You choked that one away. Wait, can we play the audio just one more time of Jake?

Because I think people don't really understand this. Jake, Jake! I'm the best in the office! Jake, Jake! I'm the best one here! Are you guys gonna be okay? We're fine. Well, you're, I know you're fine, Jake.

You're the one who outfitted him. You took your fucking balls out and shoved them down Hank's mouth. Like he can't, we know you're fine, Hank. I mean, it's a regular season game. You got a little too emotional for regular season game. We'll see what it's like in the tournament. All right, start the freaking tournament then.

Yeah. I think you guys need to hug it out. PFT, I think that just answered my question. Hug it out, bitch. That just answered my question that they're not fine. They're not fine at all. I'm actually a little bit worried about Hank. I am.

I think that he's beaten himself up pretty bad over this. You can see in his eyes. Hank, you've got dead eyes right now. I wasn't dead eyes. I looked up a list of ways to improve your self-esteem and self-confidence. Be nice to yourself as number one. I don't think that you're giving yourself space

to admit that it's okay that you got completely emasculated by our darling Jake. Hey, Hank, it's okay to not be okay. Hank, it's not your fault. It's not your fault. I think I just might need to, you know, I just, I have to see Jake every day and you guys rubbed it in my face every day.

Like maybe I need to sneeze. I'm not rubbing it in your face. I'm just stating facts. Like I don't think it's, oh yeah, you need a vacation. Listen, I'm not rubbing it in your face. I just want you, like, to me, as a friend, I need to tell you what everyone else around the office is saying.

You weren't here on Friday. And everyone was like, holy shit, Hank, is Jake's bitch. So I'm just conveying that message because I don't want you to hear it from someone else. Well, yeah, I might just, you know, you might not see me around the office too much in the next, you know, the coming days. I'm not feeling too good right now.

I can feel it coming on. Has, has, I would say the only good thing that would come out of this is, I would assume Norman has not turned on by you anymore. Nope. No, in fact, like- And I'm a single dog dad this week, so I got to deal with that.

Yeah, because Rhea's living at Jake's house now. No, she's in California. It was, if, if, if Normie was around, if Normie sees Jake- And then it's in the show. There's so much stuff happening this week. Normie's going to think that Jake's his owner, Hank. There's so much stuff happening this weekend.

All right, here, number eight on the list. Celebrate the small stuff, Hank. Celebrate the little things. You got the podcast out on time. We think. Hopefully. Congratulations. And this tool stream's video got a million views,

so that was, that was great. There you go. Awesome. It was, yeah, absolutely great for the interactions on Twitter. And- You're building a, you're building a very strong brand if all it consists of is just you getting bitched

all the time. Yeah, right. You know, it was me destroying you for like nine months. You read that to you, Hank, for putting out- That never happened. Credit to you for putting out a podcast

where you're just repeatedly called a bitch, which actually would, that kind of makes you the ultimate. Never mind. I would have a credit to you. Hey, put this podcast out, bitch. Put my voice on the internet, bitch. Okay, let's talk some topics.

This one's coming out like three hours. I'm sorry, Hank. I'm sorry. No, you're not. No, you're not. I am. I feel like you're not. You're not.

That actually is the way worst part, is that Jake is so nice. And he was already in the video. He was like, oh, the net, I wasn't going to let the net be, like, no, I was beating you. I wasn't in the net. No, you were beating me,

but those two points, 18, 16, back to back same exact thing. You were even laughing. Oh, it's patronizing. I do think that Hank should start taking steroids. Yes, I'm with you. I'll do it with you. You need to match Jake's rage.

Yeah, I'll do it with you. Either way, Jake is our new boss, so welcome, Jake. I know my role. I'm a supporting player. You're the best in the office. You're just making it so much worse. You're the best one here.

You're the best one here. I am the best one here. All right, let's talk at table tennis. At table tennis, which is the, it's not ping pong, it's table tennis. But what other way do you have, like to crown the master of an office than who's best at ping pong?

That's really, in America, if you have a ping pong table in the break room, the person who's king of that table is also king of the office. Best of the office, I'm the best one here. All right, let's talk, since we just mentioned steroids, let's talk about the big story from the weekend.

Bob Baffert and his horse, Medina Spirit, might have cheated in the Kentucky Derby. This story fucking rules. Well, I put the blame on the horse. You have to, you can't just like make excuses. The horse likes doing drugs, obviously. As our 45th president called it, it's a junky horse. And I think it should,

it should be forced to race in the last two legs of the Triple Crown, but it should have, actually just like a syringe tattooed on its side. It doesn't get a number anymore. Done. It's just, it's number S for steroids. It is not lost on me,

the simple fact that I finally did win the Kentucky Derby and I talked about it ad nauseam for the days afterwards. And then that one win has a huge asterisk because Bob Baffert is addicted to shooting his horses up with steroids. I am going to defend Bob Baffert though, in the simple fact that his defense is so hilarious and out there,

that I think we have to become Bob Baffert's stand. He just said, it's really weird that all my horses keep getting busted for steroids. That's very unusual. So here's, here's the quote that Bob Baffert had. He said, it's disturbing. It's an injustice to the horse. I don't know what's going on in racing right now,

but there's something not right. I don't feel embarrassed. I feel like I was wronged. We're going to do our own investigation. We're going to be transparent with the racing commission, like we've always been. He's a great horse. He doesn't deserve this.

He ran a gallant race. And then he went on to say, I'm not a conspiracy theorist. I know everybody is not out to get me, but which that's such a great windup for a but. I know everyone's not out to get me, but there's definitely something wrong. Why is this happening to me? You know there's problems in racing,

but it's not Bob Baffert. Jesus. That is so great. It's perfect because he essentially put together a great prosecution of himself. He's doing a very good job, but then he ends it by saying, but it's not true. Listen, I admit this looks bad.

He's got like, he's got a suppository in his hand is like three quarters of the way up Medina spirits asshole. He's like, this looks bad. I can explain. Why does this keep happening to me? Why do my horses keep testing positive for banned substances? And then when you drop the third person, that's such a power move on everyone.

Like look, there's a lot of problems here with horse racing. It's not Bob Baffert says Bob Baffert. I think this goes back to my old theory of you never trust a man with transition lenses. The person is up to something shady. Yes. Once you reach the stage in life where you commit to becoming a transition lens guy,

and that's the only thing that's part of your brand, your image, I'd be shocked if you weren't spending your days and nights drugging race horses. I have one little note to that. I agree with you. Don't trust a man with transition lenses unless they're sitting at your blackjack table. They will give you good advice.

True. They absolutely will tell you the right move. A guy in transition. Then when you get up, they'll probably pick pocket you because you want to, but in the moment, that is where you can trust a transition lens fella. Or Bruce Arians. Or Bruce Arians.

He counts too. But even still, he drinks paint. I don't know. I think his chest turned from light to dark. It's like a mood ring for Bruce, depending on what his blood alcohol level is. I just love that Bob Baffert actually got in front of everyone and was like, I'm not a conspiracy theorist.

I know everybody is not out to get me, but there's definitely something wrong. Why is this happening? I got a dumb question. Why is it illegal to give a horse steroids? Was it steroids? This is why I kind of wish that we had he who shall not be named in the studio right now

to walk us through. He could just take a look at Medina spirits nipples and tell us exactly what it was taking. So I think the substance he tested positive for is not banned, but it was an elevated level. And also you have to have it cleared like a couple of weeks before and like an Adderall like an Adderall for scripts.

Yeah, in the NFL. Right, right. So, and this is also something he got a horse at the Kentucky Oaks. I think it was last year, maybe the year before. That did happen where he tested positive and that horse got kicked out of the Kentucky Oaks. So it's happened like four or five times,

I think to Bob Baffert in the last couple of years. Again, not a conspiracy theorist. I like how why does this, why do bad things just keep happening to him? I like his main point is just for the horse. He feels bad that the horse's family is getting dragged into this now. He's being called the junkie.

The junkie horse. The junkie horse. I looked, I don't see him on Twitter. I don't think Medina spirit has a Twitter account because I was just gonna tweet gifts of Elmer's school glue at it all night today. See if we get offline. I think that we need, it might be a societal problem.

Yeah. Can horses, do horses or other animals take recreational drugs? Is that a thing that's found in nature? I bet you either eat like hemp or something. Koalas eat, what is it, eucalyptus? And they just get high in the children. Or mushrooms.

Yeah, why not? I just wonder if there are actual junkie animals that like to stay high all the time. Yeah, probably. There's got, I mean. Respect. Yeah, right? There's gotta be like some dogs out there that just like to chill.

Like to chill, for sure. The, I always, whenever I see someone who is pretty much like, you know, I'm not gonna say 100% that Bob Baffert did this, but let's say 99, right? Because that's what all common sense says. I like to go think about the alternate universe here and what a conspiracy theory would look like

is like someone, a nefarious figure running around horse barns in America's greatest racetracks and shooting up horses right before races, specifically Bob Baffert's horse. That's a hilarious concept. I mean, all signs point to Papa John. Yeah. In this circumstance like this, he's in Louisville.

He's got all the money. He's probably, if you're gonna look at Papa John, be like, this guy doesn't gamble on horse racing. You're an idiot. I think it would be him or, yeah. Probably just him. I was gonna say another college basketball coach, but I think I'm not gonna say that.

I'm not gonna say the other content guy. But yeah, it would be very funny if there was a massive conspiracy to do nothing else, but just to fuck with Bob Baffert. It's not like you have a money-making enterprise behind ruining this guy's name. Right, like whenever you see these things that people are like, oh, I'm being screwed.

I don't know how this keeps happening. What, like, how funny would it be if, just once the person was correct that there actually is a conspiracy theory against him. And even though he looks completely culpable in this situation, it's like, no, someone is actually trying to take down Bob Baffert by putting a fucking needle in the horses

right before race time. I also like that they called him to, like, hold himself to account in front of the Kentucky current. They should have all the Kentucky colonels do just a trial by fire on Bob Baffert to see if he's a witch or not. Yes, as for the winnings, to quote the great Jim Calhoun, not a dime back.

I will not be giving a dime back. I know I saw some people demanding that I give my money back. I would have matched it if you were giving it back. Not gonna happen, not a dime back. I watched that press conference this morning again. Oh, considering that you're the highest-paid state employee and there's a $2 billion budget deficit.

Yep. Do you think that's- Not a dime back. Not a dime back. I'd like to be tired someday. I'm getting tired. 1.6 million is enough? I'm sorry?

1.5 million? I make a lot more than that. You do? Yeah. Some day we gotta get him on because him saying when the reporter's like, we found out you make $1.6 million a year and he says, oh, I make a hell of a lot more than that.

He said that in a fucking press conference, like, right in someone's fucking face. So not a dime back. I honestly think that a steroid scandal would be great for horse racing. Yeah. No, no. Horse racing's in trouble.

Big cat. We're talking about horse racing. Yeah, I don't wanna strike. This is bad. People are trying to convince people to, like, not put bad horses anymore. Yeah, horse racing's in trouble. Like, in general, because horses are dying.

There was a one track that had, like, 10 horses died. We're in a precarious spot in horse racing in America. I think it's one of those sports that people are starting to be like, eh, maybe we don't need, I love horse racing. So I think that this is not the scandal we need. We're talking about it. No, no, no, but it's not good talk.

This is not good talk. This is, the haters are gonna be like, see, this is a fucked up sport. Like, you know, they need to clean it up. They need to get rid of it. It's not a good talk. I think they should let him race in the other legs of the Triple Crown.

I really do. Yeah, we'll see if they'll, I mean, it's, it will be weird if he, if, so if Medina Spirit, it's, I guess there's an appeal going on right now. But either way, the second place horse is not running in the precarious. So the second place horse would be named

the Kentucky Derby Champion and then still wouldn't run in the precarious. So the Triple Crown would be dead right there. Well, would it be a Triple Crown if it did run in the precarious? And then at, I think so. Technically, yes.

That would be an amazing, the Asterix Triple Crown. The weirdest one. The weirdest one, yeah. Okay. I might not be in favor of actually giving horses drugs against their will. Yeah, it's not good.

I'm gonna stand on that table. It's not good. But on the other hand, I would tune in and watch if Medina Spirit was racing in the other legs. Yeah, no, no, of course. Or here's what they should do. They should have police horses arrest.

No. Medina Spirit and escort him into jail. That too. Give him a jail cell. What I was gonna say is if they, if they don't let Medina Spirit run, they should have, like Bob Baffert should have Medina Spirit run

a timed race exactly the same length at the exact same time that the precarious runs. By himself. And unlike Fox. I like that. That would be great. And you're the bad boy of racing. You're creating your own super league.

Yes, right, exactly. That would be a way to get people to talk about it. I like that. I just think it's coincidental how like all these horses started doing drugs with Lil Nas X started talking about riding his horse. It's true. Where the father's big cat.

It's true. All right, so what else do we, so we're gonna talk DK Metcalf and Elon Musk SNL after Dan Herron as for other sports stories. We had another no-hitter this weekend, which I'm getting no-hittered out. We're gonna talk to Dan a little bit about it, but I'm getting no-hittered out.

Yeah, it's not even, it doesn't even register on the radar for me. There was a seven inning no-hitter, even though we're not calling it that though, right? But you know, I felt like, you know, 15 years ago, I was like, oh, no-hitter watch. Like, oh, let's put it up on, you know, ESPN and we'll sit there and watch the last few years.

If someone told me there was a no-hitter and it wasn't, it was a team other than the Cubs, like in the eighth inning, I'm like, okay, cool, let me know how it goes. It's become slang for like, this is a boring game. Yeah, pretty much. Don't watch me. Don't watch that.

I wanna watch the game where every pitch is getting hit. Well, it's also just like, the thing I'm more interested in is, how did he not have a perfect game? Like how many walks did he have? Like the one against the Orioles pitcher, was it John Means, I think his name is? I might have screwed up that name.

It was, he actually had a no-hitter and it would have been a perfect game, but the catcher dropped a third strike in the third inning. That's like a horrible way to lose a perfect game. Yeah, there was the perfect game out in Colorado, right? Was that Angel Hernandez at first base? Detroit.

I don't know, that was a different umpire, but yeah, he was the one who was like, I kicked the shit out of that call. I'm sorry, I feel sick for this guy. Yes, yes. By the way, a very nice touching tweet came out early today from the Major League umpires association. Jim Joyce.

Jim Joyce, that's right. Which is like my favorite association, just in general, because they made a shield for themselves, which is like an umpire's mask on a shield. I like that. They protect their own shield. They just tweeted out like happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there from Major League Baseball umpires.

I love that. Who's touching. I love the pink bats. Yeah. I love the pink catchers. Catchers really get to swag out more than anyone else. Yeah, they look like. It's not really fair.

They looked like they were going. Like goalies. Yeah, yes. Yes, it was like they, with all the like pink stuff that the catchers were wearing, they looked like hunters. When you go out in the woods and you have to like, they're milk hunters today.

Yes. They were milk hunters. And it was like, was it Melina? That had like the entire pink get up to the bottom? It was a little extra, you know what I mean? What do you mean? In general, he just fucking makes it all about himself. Okay.

They should allow position players to wear catcher gear once a year. I agree. Like imagine a third baseman wearing catchers gear trying to maneuver. It'd be very funny. That would be very funny. Or a pitcher.

Yeah, both teams have to do it at the equal. So, so it's totally equal. And then just, you know, everyone just tries to hit them. I also. Is there a rule that prevents batters from wearing catchers gear? Like Barry Bonds kind of did. Yeah.

Yeah. But like, can you go up there wearing a face mask? That would be fast. The Astros should be doing that. Yes. I had a idea for a dumb baseball rule on Fridays. It's they should allow, and we might have even said this like five years ago,

but they should allow runners to intercept passes. Yeah. So if you caught the ball, you're not out. Yes. Like how sick would that be? Like when you were playing kickball as a kid. Yes, right, right, right. So like, if you think that you're not going to be safe,

you just turn around and try to catch the ball. You got to catch it cleanly though. On the other hand, you should also be able to hit a batter or hit a base runner with the ball and they're out. In the head counts as two. No head shots. No head shots counts as two. But then you have to determine whether they ducked

into getting hit in the head. That was probably the start of like 90% of all the play ground fights. We're like, no, this guy ducked into the throw on the kickball field. It was targeting before targeting. I wasn't going after his head intentionally. Yeah.

We were just replaying the, it was a terrible foreshadow of our entire like college football watching experience in 2021 was being like, did he duck or what was the intention? Exactly, yeah. I think it probably got us pretty well prepared to eventually be replay officials. Yes, absolutely.

NBA, we're just getting ready for the playoffs. It feels very weird. I don't know why they did this. I know why they started late, but I don't know why they just didn't do a shorter schedule because I watch, like I'll flip on the NBA and I'll watch the bull, the bulls are gonna do a class thing where they make the playoffs,

put the, and then they fuck everything else over. But no one's playing defense right now down the stretch. No one wants to be out there right now down the stretch. Just get to the playoffs. And the only other thing I had on the NBA is Luca Donchich is getting very close to being like a dirty player. Can you check my who's back?

Shit. What do you do? I will wait, let me, let me say it. Who's Back of the Week is brought to you by our friends at the Cash App. The Cash App is the best place on the internet. It's the best app ever. You can link your bank account directly to the Cash App.

You can send money to friends, family. You can buy stock. You can buy Bitcoin. You can do it all with the Cash App. It is the best. It is who is back. And if you put in promo code BARSTEL, you get $10 for free, $10 for free, $10 for the ASPCA.

So go download the Cash App right now and use that, download it at the App Store, Google Play Store today, use that code BARSTEL, buy some Bitcoin, altcoins, or cryptocurrency is the hottest thing ever. We're gonna talk about Dogecoin after Dan Herron, but you can buy Bitcoin with the Cash App. So go right now, download the Cash App

and get going with the Cash App. Hank. Who's back? I have a couple. The first one was Rory. Rory McIlroy. I just said we were gonna talk about Luca. Well, yeah, I was getting my first one out of the way.

Well, do Luca. Okay, Rory is back. Am I second? Why is Rory back? He won his first tournament in like 18 months. I think that was Hank trying to sneak you, get a little bit of power back. It was, and it was also Hank.

What? I'm sure Hank knew what my second who's back week was gonna be, which is gonna be Rory and Hank stole another one of my who's backs again. Yeah, good, I'm happy. Who's back and stealing my who's backs. Yeah. Just go first.

My who's back is. Okay, my first who's back is Rory. He won this weekend. Bryson DeChambeau actually. When was the last time he won? It was 18 months ago. I never really, I didn't know. Oh, I don't know.

Wells Fargo. It was the Wells Fargo. Thank you, Hank. No, it was the last event he won. This was the Wells Fargo, Hank. Right. You're wrong. This was the last one he won.

It was the one that was 18 months ago, so it was the winner classic. Right. What was it? I don't know. Probably. Okay. I've always wondered about Rory,

like why don't people root for Rory to be back like they do for Spieth? Because Rory was the best golfer in the world. I don't think. 19 world golf championships, HSBC championships. There you go. I think from the little I do know, I think it's Rory became bad,

but he's not like a total head case like Jordan Spieth. Also, I think Rory got married. He got, well, he got almost married and then he got broke up, right? That's right. Caroline Wozniacki, right? And then he got married. Right, there was that whole thing

that that breakup had something to do with it. And then he got married, so everyone was like, oh, he got married, he's not gonna win anymore. Whereas Jordan Spieth's like, oh, he just honestly can't take two steps without yelling at himself. Speed to Junker. That's my best explanation

and it probably is 100% wrong. Because Rory's the guy that I put a bet on him to win every single major tournament. He's like the last guy that I add in at the end of my card. I'm like, what if this is the time that he becomes back? Right. Finally, but I feel like maybe he's the Jordan Spieth of Northern Ireland.

Like they talk about him over there. Like we talk about J.S. Well, he's the M.J. of Northern Ireland. He's the guy. But M.J. I don't even think they even talk about, like I don't think they can talk badly about him. He's still that important?

Yeah, I think so. He's also small. You can all realize that about Rory. But he's also kind of big. He's like five, six and jacked. But kind of, yeah, sneaky big. He got jacked. It's good who's back, PFT, really.

My second who's back is nutsmashing. Oh. Luka Donchich got ejected today. I think it's his second ejection in a week. Yeah. He's a nutsmashing con sexton. He is getting, and he also. And it was pretty clear.

Like you watched the video. Like he turned around with intent to just smash the guy's balls. It wasn't the market smart accidental instant replay of cameras trying to make it look worse than it was. This was a clear and decisive nutsmash. It was very clear. And Luka has the double whammy of if he decides

to go the dirty route, he's already, he already gets people mad at him because he complains about every call. So like you can't, then you just become Chris Paul. If you're dirty and you complain about every call, you got to do one or the other. So at least Deli didn't really complain about calls. Right, like Martin Scott doesn't complain about calls,

does he? Like he doesn't, he's not doing that constantly. Never embellishes. And doing the little like resting like bitch face of like how, why is this going against me again? Right. He's not that emotional out there. Right.

This was a, if I were to rank nut taps, this is probably like eight point nine. It was solid. It was pretty bad. He wound up. He tried to stop himself at the very, very, very last second but it was way too late. He must have, Colin Sexton must have just,

I don't know what he did. Probably just frustrated him to a point. I mean, that's, you just can't do that. The look on Luka's face after the officials get together and talk it over and decide to eject him is priceless. It is weird. It's like a mix. It looks like he's watching himself on film being like,

I can't believe I did that. We need to, as men, start to stand up against like dick punchers like this more often. Like if you asked me what Luka did to Colin Sexton was way worse than what Tom Wilson did. Agreed. Like I'm being serious though. You, why aren't, why as men do we not defend each other's

testicles and penis? I think that we should because in the case of this, like it's, it's the coward's way out because it's just like, it's the easiest way to inflict a lot of pain. You don't have to be good at fighting. You don't have to be stronger than the other guy. And also, it's just a tactical strike. It could really hurt someone for like 10 to 15 minutes

where they feel like they got a fart, but they can't. Forget about just hurting the person that you're hitting. What about the emotional pain that gets inflicted on every guy that watches it? Yes. Because every guy, and you wince. This is why. I feel like Luka Donchich hit me in the testicles.

This is why I wish Bob Lee was still alive because we should have an entire like E60 about nut tapping and how it's one of the biggest health scares that we've had in professional sports similar to CTE. It's the new concussion. Yeah, it's not CTE's worse, but if we're looking for a new thing. Chronic testicular encephalopathy.

Let's be honest, Roger Goodell has solved CTE. That shit is in the past. He, he figured that whole thing out, figured out a way for us to all just stop talking about concussions. Well, now we're just going bananas over his chair. Yeah, I mean, he's, it's really incredible that he was able to do that.

So what about nut taps? What about dick punches? It's not right. We came to a consensus on this podcast about five years ago that we had to stop. We were going down. Yeah, you almost killed me. You almost killed me.

We were going down a very dangerous path for a while. We were hanging with the wrong crowd. And we had a little back and forth where Big Cat and I would sack tap each other once a week. And then I, I went a little too hard one time and I felt bad. You lay down on the sidewalk. That was by far the most painful nut tap dick punch

I've ever received. Every guy, if you're over the age of 25 and you haven't been like nut tapped or dick punched at least 50 times, that means you just don't have friends. But yeah, like you, it was so painful. Can you imagine if we hadn't stopped and we just kept, you probably wouldn't have kids. No, it would be, yeah.

No, I don't want to think about that. Cause it was, whenever you got to that age where you realize how funny it was, it was very, very funny, but it also was really painful. And it was years and years of just having that reflex of like, oh fuck. Would you rather be pants, dick and balls or sack tap directly on your right testicle?

At like a moderate amount of power. Like the one I gave to you in. No, that was, that was a lot of power and you got everything. I'm sorry. Probably, probably pants. I'd rather be pants. Probably pants, yeah.

Yeah. Or let me throw in one more. Mary fuck kill, pants? Uh-huh. Punched in the balls as hard as possible. Have Jake Marsh completely alpha you in your entire life. I think I would rather, I would, I would fuck getting pants.

I would marry Jake Marsh yelling at Hank. I want that to continue for the rest of my life. I'm definitely wide part with that one. NFT. We should NFT Jake. We should NFT that. Yeah. That moment needs to live on.

Oh, I'll personally spend all my money on it. I've gotten a lot of merch requests too. I am the best one here. And why are we not doing that? We need it. All right, either way, is that all your who's back sink? Yeah. Good job, Hank, I like those.

Yeah, so obviously Rory was a big who's back the week after he won the Wells Fargo after 18 months when he last won the World Golf Championship. My second who's back is UNC Women's Field Hockey. Oh, hell yeah. They just won their third national title in a row. Was that yours, Jake? It was one of them.

Oh, really? Yeah, they just beat Michigan, there's golden goal. Yeah, do you think that UNC Women's Field Hockey is bad for women's field hockey? Because they're too dominant. I don't think so, they're always in the mix though. Cause I was waiting for the, lacrosse election show to go on and.

Asked me in two years. Okay. Cause I just am now being aware of the fact they're on a three-peat. Well, it's a dynasty now. Right, so ask me in two years. Okay. This was their third.

Third in a row. So if they win one more in the next two years, at that point, I think they become a problem. No, yeah. Bad for the sport. Bad for the sport. If they go five in a row, that's bad for the sport.

Very bad for the sport. My other who's back of the week is Canelo. Canelo's back to ginger. He broke the other dude's orbital bone. That was a nasty uppercut. Also, you forget how satisfying it is to watch just straight up body blows. Yes.

Just like kidney punches. It's also, obviously Canelo Alvarez is the top of the fight game, but it's so funny watching him move. And the fact that there are real people out there who are like, Jake Paul's a legit boxer. Yeah. Like, no, no, no, they don't, they're completely different athletes.

Well, I never think Canelo would take another man's hat. I wish this wasn't a no-duh, but it actually has to be said because there are real people out there who are like, Jake Paul might just fuck around and win all the belts. Like, no, no, he won't. He would get his ass kicked. He would have his ribs broken.

But there's something. You would never touch him. That's the part. It's not even that Canelo would hurt Jake Paul. Jake Paul wouldn't be able to punch Canelo Alvarez. He just wouldn't. The way that he moves his head around in the ring is, honestly, it's hypnotizing.

Yes. Yes. And there's nothing to fight against him. There's no difference between that and staring at a magic eye poster. You get confused watching his head move around. Yes. All right, my who's back are animated hot dads.

We thought about doing Monday reading of this, but it's like way too long, too long New York times. But it was basically an article about our animated dads getting hotter in investigation. This one guy basically decided that Pixar has changed the animated dad game and it's made all these animated dads really hot. Not like smoke bros,

but just a combination of their looks and their emotional vulnerability. Yeah, who do you think is the hottest dad? Animated. Animated. I'm gonna go with the old guy from Up. It looks like Joe Paterno. Peter Griffin.

He's just such a nice guy. Peter Griffin. He's hot. Hank Hill. Yeah. But he's got tiny ass though. Great ass. No, he's got tiny ass.

Inspiring ass. Hank, you know what we should do? We should get you butt implants. Yeah, they're back. I made that suggestion on this show not but a week ago. They're back. Yeah. Good idea.

It's true. We should do it. So I initially was gonna say the stakes for our next lost bet should be if you lose, you'll have to get butt implants, but I think that you actually wanna get butt implants. No. Definitely not.

I'm not dying to get butt implants by any means whatsoever. You just said you suggested it. Yeah, I did. But that doesn't mean I wanna do it. Okay. Be kind of cool of you so we'd have like an awesome ass to look at. I bring my breasts to the show every single day.

It's true. Where why don't you bring in a nice ass? Cause they're like donk. It's like, you know, 2,500 a cheek. That's not bad actually. That's very affordable. Dude, once we sell the NFT of Jake just fucking, you'll have so much money.

If we use Jake dominating you to finance your new ass. Maybe. That would be a great way for you to come back. How'd you pay for it? Well, how much time you got? Well, I would never say they're fake, obviously. Right, of course. Of course.

Either way, I don't like that they're now making animated dads hot because like everyone's got daddy issues. It seems like we're gonna, it seems problematic. It's also, yeah, it leads to improper expectations. Yes, correct. So like if they're gonna, now I'm actually kind of seeing how every male has been conditioned to look at women. It's actually like.

No, don't go too far. No, I gotta stop. It's gonna be problematic big cap because every woman's gonna see a hot older dad with unrealistic body expectations and every girl is gonna be like, how come my husband doesn't look like that? It's not fair because real guys, our bodies change as we get older.

Correct. You can't expect us to have perfectly formulated butts, thighs, pecs, arms, shoulders. It doesn't work like that. And also, you know, really emotionally there. Yeah, definitely not that one. The persecution of dudes continues. Yes, let's just say that.

It's extremely sad. It's very sad. Jake, your last, our last who's back the week before we get to Dan Herron. And then we're gonna talk to Elon Musk and DK Metcalf on the other side. Bobby Valentine, he's running for mayor of Stamford, Connecticut, Stamford with an M.

He invented the rap. He invented the rap. And also, I actually was thinking about putting Bobby Valentine on my who's back for a different reason. What did he do? Joe Madden got ejected from a game on Saturday. And I saw a picture. I couldn't find it like the actual one person treated me

that he basically went to the stands and he was in the stands after. And it made me think of Bobby Valentine coming back with the glasses and the mustache. Yeah, right. So that's weird. Are you allowed to do that? Are you allowed to buy a ticket to the game and come in?

No, I think you're ejected from the game. From the stadium? I think so. The umpires control what happens on the field of play. And in the dugouts, I don't think they control the stands. No, no, no, no. Ump ejected, I know for a fact, Steve McMichael,

who I, unfortunately, he just actually announced that he has ALS and he's battling that Mongo from the 85 Bears after seeing the seventh inning stretch and criticizing the ump, the ump like ejected him. From the press box. Yes, yes. Marshawn Lynch got ejected from a game and then watched in the stands a few years ago.

That, okay. Marshawn Lynch can literally do anything. He's allowed to do whatever he wants. Also think it's different when you're the coach giving signs and shit. Yeah, I guess that's true. Yeah. Yeah, you can look it up though.

Mongo got ejected by Angel Hernandez. I like that. I like Bobby Valentine being back though. Politics is good when Bobby Valentine's getting out. He's currently the athletic director at Sacred Heart, Connecticut. Interesting. And he did invent the wrap,

which is such an awesome thing to say, like I invented the wrap. You see that? I think he walks up to people. Do we believe that? I'm fully giving him credit for it. Have to give him credit because that's something that even if he didn't,

the fact that he had the wherewithal to say he invented the wrap is genius in its own right. Cause how can you, like it's not like the pizza or even the pizza or the hamburger. I'm sure you can contest it, but the wrap is just a shittier sandwich. It's not like you didn't do anything great. It's more portable and it's like slightly healthier,

but it's not as healthy as people want you to believe it is. I eat wraps, I like wraps, but you can't tell me that a wrap is better than a sandwich with like good bread. No, it never is. And there's like a brand new, like wrap industrial complex

where restaurants have seven or eight different kinds of wraps. And it's actually just as unhealthy as eating a sandwich at this point. Correct. But since it's such a wrap, it feels a lot more healthy. It feels lighter, right.

So, but it's not- That's my diet actually. My diet is for, I eat wraps for dinner. But it's a worse version of a sandwich. It is a worse version of a sandwich. It's like eating fro yo. Like I love frozen yogurt, but ice cream is still better.

Yeah. Like it tastes better. It's just better. You know what I invented? I invented dipping like chicken fingers into a mixture of barbecue and buffalo sauce. Oh, that's funny. Because I invented-

Bufa Q. I invented something where at the end of the night I have my Listerine and Nyquil together. Oh, that's cool. What do you call it? Nyquirine. Nyquirine. Yeah, Nyquirine, Nyquirine.

Yeah. So, we're kind of the smartest people ever. But back to Bobby Valentine. Do you think he goes up to people who are like just eating a wrap and he's like, you like that? You know who invented it? For sure.

You're looking at him. It honestly sounds like something that a grandfather would make up as a lie to tell his grand kid, just like fucking around with him one day and the kid got so impressed that he's like, you know what, I'm gonna ride this. I'm gonna see how long I can ride this lie out.

It sounds like a Larry David Curb Your Enthusiasm episode. And he's like walking around looking for credit for it. No one will give him credit. Yeah, well, who's gonna, you can't prove that it's not true. Right, right. Hey, Hank, how you doing? Great.

I wanna give you a hug. I think Jake, I think you guys should hug it out. You guys should hug it out, bitch. Yeah. I don't think there's any tension with us. I'll give him a hug. You can cut the tension with it. I think it's him and the whore stick.

Oh, you think it's always me versus the whore. It's me versus Big Cat and P.F.D. always. Yeah, I have your side. Just take it to your side. I do. I think it's so much worse. You make it so much worse, Jake. I hope Jake never alphas me,

because I don't think I could take it. I would lose it. I'd have to quit or fire him. Because he doesn't... I can't handle that. He's such a natural alpha. Yeah, and just everything he says is so patronizing, but it's also very nice.

He's not trying to do this to Hank. In a way, Hank, if it makes you feel better, in a way, Jake alphid all of us when he did that. He didn't say I'm better than Hank. He said, I'm the best one in this office. I'm the best one here. So really, you're just, you're unfairly taking the brunt of it

because you happen to be standing next to him in the room after he beat you. But it really was directed towards everyone. Sure. Thank you for that, Hank. Thanks. You're welcome. Thank you for...

Well, to be fair, Hank goes one or two people who threatened me losing that title. No one else is close. Right, especially not you, P.F.D. Yes, so you're really good. You're really good in this office. Once the tournament rolls around, I'll be the best in the office.

Whoa. Okay. The best point here. This is actually the greatest play martial app. Yeah. Go download it. $2,000 jackpot. Whoa.

Thursday. Whoa. Bird M.J. Yeah, this is crazy. M.J. Are you guys playing again Thursday? Next Thursday, week and Thursday. You should just bump it up.

And people want it. We'll see. Oh, also, the dozen trivia tournament starts tomorrow. Tonight, Monday, it's gonna go live at 7 p.m. on YouTube. Jeff D. Lowe did an awesome job prepping for all this. No spoilers. No spoilers whatsoever. Tonight is Team ZD against, who is it?

Uptown Balls. Uptown Balls. Two fan favorites. Yes. All right, let's get to our interview with Dan Herron. Dan Herron's brought to you by our friends at Noom. Noom is the way to feel better and eat better and live better in 2021.

It's not about what you just say, but about how you can eat in general. Noom teaches you about eating your cravings and how to build new habits. We're getting healthy in 2021. Think about everything you've ever learned about getting healthy. There's a lot of contradictory information out there

and things that like old fashioned food pyramid aren't much help. You know how to chew, how to use chopsticks, kinda, and how to fold a slice of pizza so the cheese doesn't slide off and you get the perfect first bite. But do you really know how to eat? Noom says, if you wanna lose weight,

it's not about one thing you ate today, but how you eat in general. It's your habits around eating. So it's based in psychology. Noom teaches you how to eat so you can accomplish your personal health goals and stick with them long term because you don't need rules to lose weight.

You need knowledge. With Noom, you pick the health goals that are right for you and Noom personalizes a weight loss program to help your aspirations become reality. So check it out right now. There's specific goals. If you wanna achieve eating physical examples, having more energy, enjoying exercise again,

social examples like feeling more confident or comfortable in a crowd or social situation, all of these things are there for Noom. Noom's cognitive behavioral approach means you're not just losing weight, you're building the habits to keep it off long term and Noom is forgiving because you're a human. If you go off track today,

you'll be back on track tomorrow. It's not something that you're gonna feel like it's torturing you. It's more about making sure that you make the right choices for the long term when it comes to eating. There's a science to getting healthier. It's called Noom.

Sign up for your trial today at noomnoom.com slash PMT. Learn how to eat again with Noom. Sign up for your trial today at noomnoom.com slash PMT. Ready to learn how to live healthier. Sign up for Noom today at noom.com slash PMT. Okay, here he is. Our very good friend, Dan Herron. Noom.

Okay, we now welcome on our very, very, very good friend and recurring guest and a pug owner. Still, it is Dan Herron. Dan, great to talk to you. Sorry about last time. That was our fault, but it's great to talk to you again. It's great to have you back on. It's great to be on.

I'm proud to be one of the oldest recurring guests on this podcast and the last time we talked, yeah, it was, it wasn't the best. I was out to dinner, you called, I didn't answer. I called you back and then, you know, I broke the news to you about the pug. You kind of made me go there, so. Yeah, I was starting to hear that.

It's all good. Yeah, very, very sorry. We're a pro pug podcast across the board. Yeah. So, well, yeah, I mean, that was, you know, we move on, but we wanted to have you on because we want to talk a little baseball and we do love talking to you and we thought you would be the perfect person to bring on.

And so let's talk some baseball. I have a bunch of questions, but I wanted to start with something that's happening this year that feels like we are diminishing the allure of the no-hitter. Well, we have five no-hitters so far. Yeah, we've had too many no-hitters. Too many no-hitters.

So, as a former Major League Baseball pitcher, Future Hall of Famer, what the hell is going on? Why are there so many no-hitters? We should get to the Future Hall of Famer part later in the podcast, but in regards to no-hitters, I don't know. I, for one, never carried a no-hitter past, I believe, five and two-thirds.

I think I had one one time, but I don't know, man. Defense has obviously got better with shifting. There's more strikeouts, but the one the other day was Wade Miley. I think he got 15 ground balls, one fly ball. So, I think a testament to him being able to get ground balls and defense being in the right spot. But as for why there is, I don't know why there's so many.

It's kind of crazy because I thought this year with, I think pitch counts were going to be down. Innings, the limits were going to be lower. So, it's crazy to see so many already. Yeah, it's really weird. I mean, we can get a rumor going. I like to think that they just added an extra stitch. Or if you just say they added an extra stitch to the baseball,

you can be like, that's why spin rate's increasing. And when you, so you took a no-hitter into the, you said the fifth inning or into the sixth inning, which is, that's honestly more impressive in that era, in the pre-shift era, that you were able to get almost six runs with no hits. That's almost like a no-hitter right now, I would say. It's basically a no-hitter.

It was basically a no-hitter. And actually, I think it was a five-inning perfect game, which, you know, we had a seven-inning no-hitter by the D-Vex earlier in the year. And, you know, I basically had a five- or six-inning perfect game, whatever it was, though. Just, you know, added onto the list of my hall of fame credentials that went down in flames a year ago.

Yes, that's Billy's fault. All you really need to worry about, though, is like if somebody Googles Dan Herron, no-hitter, you just need like a YouTube result to pop up. So if somebody can upload the first like five, your perfect five-inning game to YouTube and just have it say like Dan Herron, no-hitter, perfect game, I think that's almost as good as actually

having a no-hitter. And then after the fifth inning, it could just kind of cut to a game where, like, I got excited about a strikeout or it was a complete game where I hugged the catcher. Well, if anyone could do that, it's your listener's stuff. Yeah, we'll get that done. So all right, so you never threw a no-hitter.

Were you on a team that had a no-hitter or perfect game? Not a perfect game, but a lot of no-hitters. I saw one was pretty cool. Edwin Jackson, I was with the D-Vax in, I don't know what year, it was 2010. And we had the bullpen up in the third inning because he had walked so many guys and he ended up throwing a no-hitter over 150 pitches.

It was awesome. And then I also saw a no-hitter end with two outs in the ninth inning. I think Kurt Schilling was pitching against us with the A's. Someone had a hit two outs in the ninth inning. That was pretty awesome too. I remember that Edwin Jackson game. So I just Googled it was 149 with eight walks.

What? I love Edwin Jackson because I remember the time he got lost going to the training facility for the Cubs in spring training. That was like, OK, maybe the Edwin Jackson years are over here. What was the celebration after a 149 pitch eight walk no-hitter? Like, do you even celebrate or are you like, good job, dude? But also, you might want to work on your control? That's a good one.

No, actually, that night was wild too. I remember we were in Tampa Bay and I mean, we went out pretty crazy that night. I mean, I was only out for a little bit of it though. But Edwin was a great guy. The funny thing about that one is it was AJ Hinch's first stint as manager. And we were giving him a hard time, to be honest with you.

Like, we gave him a lot of shit. And he was uncomfortable being the manager. I know that. And it sucked for him. And then he got put in this spot where Edwin had like 120 pitches after the seventh inning. And he was absolutely panicked in the dugout. Just didn't know what to do.

He was supposed to let him go 150 pitches. And there was no way you were taking the ball from Edwin though. He took it and got it done. It was great. That is a hilarious spot to be in because anyone would be like, we can't have him pitch 150 pitches. But a new manager, you have to let that ride.

Yes. And baseball has changed too in that regard. I highly doubt that they would allow anyone to throw that many pitches nowadays. So you've got to get the no hitters done before like 120. Has anybody ever thrown a no hitter and lost? I want to see that happen before. That would be amazing.

You want to say, oh, yeah, I think, I actually think Pedro might have done it, right? Jake's got something. On April 23, 1964, Ken Johnson of the Houston Colt 45s became the first pitcher to throw a nine inning no hitter and lose. In fact, he is still the only individual to throw an official nine inning no hitter and lose.

That article is as of May 13, 2020. Talk about like motherfucking your team after the game. Seriously, guys, I threw a no hitter and we didn't win. Yeah, you don't even get to celebrate that, really. All right, so I'm looking up too. Pedro, I think, with the Expos in 1995, pitched a perfect game for nine innings and lost it in the extra innings.

Yeah. That's crazy. What a baller. Yeah, I mean, that's an insane. Insane, insane. So now, because no hitters are becoming so happens to, they're so commonplace, do you think that the rules of not talking to a guy during a no hitter

still apply? Like, in Edwin Jackson's case, is everyone staying away from him when he's pitching a no hitter or people fucking with him? Like, how does it actually work in the dugout? Because I know everyone thinks Jinx is a real and we don't even tweet about it, but how does it actually work when you're in the game?

I don't think it's a situation where Edward and I are getting a gatorade and I'm reminding him that he's got a no hitter going in the ninth inning. I don't think that's happening, but yeah, I think some pitchers are, you know, a lot of pitchers are different. Just some want to be talked to.

Some, you know, some you don't talk to. Everybody's kind of different. I think Edwin was more, he wanted everyone to talk to him. He was like top step on everything. At what point do those rules kick in, though? Like, at what point does it become something that you don't talk about? Is it like the sixth inning, the seventh inning?

I think the turn is about the fifth inning. Once you get, and once you get through the sixth, then you start thinking about it. It didn't happen too often for me, like I said, but I think once five is complete, you kind of start thinking and then six, it gets serious. I'm thinking about it right now. I don't think that I would be able to help myself

in the dugout. Like I would be like, hey, Edwin, good job, dude. You got a no hitter going. I would be that guy. I don't, maybe out my MLB career would be, imagine if I was like a sick pitcher, but it got cut short just because I kept on jinxing and everyone's knowing.

You would just literally sit next to people and just tell them like, hey, I'm not going to say it, but I'm not going to say it. Yeah, but it would be a shame if you gave up a hit. Yeah, this is historic. To be honest, you sound like a terrible teammate. Yeah, a terrible teammate, but also kind of funny, right? Like that would be kind of funny.

Yeah, it's funny until you, like, everybody is losing their no hitters and wants to kill you. Yeah, then it would be hilarious. It's hilarious until then. He loses a no hitter, then he loses the shutout, loses the game and he wants to punch you. Yeah, in your heart of hearts, as a pitcher,

if you had somebody on your team that was absolutely lights out, maybe like working on their second no hitter of the season, or it's like a pitcher who is just like, you know, they're putting up all sorts of crazy stats and they're throwing a no hitter on top of all of it. Are you in the back of your head? Like, come on, man, you're kind of showing me up,

like enough with the no hitters. Especially when a pitcher, I would just say myself, I'm not gonna say generally, when I was struggling as a pitcher and I would watch my fellow pitcher on my own team, like dominate, start after start, and I go out and get my ass handed to me every five days. After like two weeks, it gets really old to watch them.

Like, I mean, I don't want us to lose, but it's hard giving up like six runs and three innings, and then the guy comes out the next day and shoves, and then it happens again five days later and five days later. At some point, you're like, it's okay to give up a few runs. And like, I'll feel a little better about myself, you know?

I think that actually, yeah, I mean, it would definitely suck to watch everyone else be awesome and you just struggle constantly. I actually think you saw that a little bit with Corey Kluber with the Yankees. I think it was, he had a tough April, and then he finally had one game where he went like eight innings and pitched really well,

and you could see on his face, he was like, thank fucking God, I don't have to deal with like the awkwardness of being the guy who's not getting it done on the staff. I was a good, toward the end of my career, I was a champ of dealing with the awkwardness of being the shittiest pitcher on the staff for portions of the year.

I could think of, I think of my time in D.C. when I would have like so many bad games in a row and I would just hide in the hyperbaric chamber, but not turn it on just because I wanted to sleep. That comes to mind. I can tell too, there's certain times, like you're not as active on Twitter as you were maybe a year or two ago,

but I can tell when like triggers happen from your playing days, because like it was a month ago, I was tweeting about the wind at Wrigley, and I think you liked every single one of the tweets being like, yes, like people need to talk about the wind more, because when the wind's blowing out, it shouldn't be counted.

Oh, God, yeah. I mean, how I would, I'd be checking the wind forecast, like we'd be on the road in St. Louis and I'd be pitching like eight days later trying to figure out which way the wind would be blowing in two weeks in Wrigley. Get to the field, look at the flags.

I mean, I would already know it was gonna be a rough one. Yeah, but what about from a hitting perspective? Like as a pitcher you get to hit in the National League, would you, did you ever hit a home run? I hit two home runs. Hell yeah. That must have been the most satisfying feeling of all time. It felt really good.

I was, I took Bronson, Arroyo, Deep in Cincinnati and I got Chris Carpenter in St. Louis. I mean, the, I actually wanted to bring it up. The Shohei Otani, like what he's doing is it, is it as crazy to someone who played the game as it is to casual fans, to watch the guy go up, pitch like a hundred miles an hour and then hit the ball like 500 feet?

Is it insane to your brain? Like how is he able to do both things so well? It is crazy. It's really crazy until you look at how I hit in 2010 and realize that I was basically Shohei Otani in 2010. That's why I wanted to know about your home runs because that's like, that's the buzz right now,

Shohei Otani. And so I feel like if we get, talk about your half game, perfect game and like footage of you just walloping dingers out there, I feel like we can resurrect the Hall of Fame nomination. I always let the D-Back pitchers know in spring training that I'm the last pitcher in the history of baseball to have four hits in a game.

Oh, wow. So yeah, part of me is rooting for that, the DH, the universal DH, so I could, I could have that for the rest of my life. But yeah, I mean, 2010 I was absolutely locked in but people forget it, they forget fast. Dan Herron in 2010 batted 364. Holy shit.

364, a home run, seven RBIs. You were, you were, you were Shohei Otani without the power. If you extrapolate my numbers, if I would play every day like Otani, I would be better probably than Otani. Yes. Yeah.

The only thing that he can do that I couldn't do is run. And I just, and I couldn't run that well. Yeah, you would have had, if you had played every day, you would have had 70 RBIs that season. Yeah. Fuck, that's, all right, okay, put it on the list. That's a great one, that's another big one. Speaking of the Angels, I also wanted to bring up Mike Trout.

I think it's so funny, not funny, but weird that Mike Trout might go down as like, maybe outside of Barry Bonds, the greatest baseball player of all time. Like that's, it's crazy to say, obviously he's still got to play for a bunch more years. But, and like no one appreciates him how he should be appreciated.

Like this year I was looking at it and he's batting 388 right now. And it feels like no one's really even talking about the fact that Mike Trout is just doing this again. He must be, two weeks ago he was hitting like 430. So he must have, it's hard when you go two for five and your average goes down, that's rough. But yeah, he's the, he is the greatest player I've ever seen.

I was kind of arguing with my dad. I was telling him he might be the best hitter in the history of baseball. He didn't agree with me, but. Who did he say? Well, he's old. So he grew up in New York. So, you know, he's, he's a Mickey Mantle guy

and you know, the Roger Maris has a home run record guy. And so that's, that's who he is. But it is like, if you actually look at it, and I know this is probably a hot take to say, cause saying like someone's the best ever, it's, it's always hard to, to prove that, especially in a sport like baseball, but he's a, how old is Mike Trout?

Mike Trout is. Gotta be about 30. He's 29. 29. So he's about to be 30 this summer. So let's just say he plays eight more years. I mean, he already has 310 home runs. Like he'll end up with, I don't know, close to 600.

His, his career average is over 300. Like he's, he does it all. It's just crazy. It feels like he's getting better. So I don't know. It's, it's just a weird thing to have someone be that good. And could go down is, let's even just say, top 10 all-time player and it doesn't feel like he gets,

maybe it's, do you think it's just that he hasn't had the October moment? Like he hasn't had the deep run in October? I think it's the October moment. I think it's where he plays. He probably, probably if he played for the Dodgers, he'd get, he'd get more love. But yeah, I mean, you don't, you know,

today was Dodger's Angels. Like it wasn't the Sunday night baseball game, you know? Like no, people don't get a chance to see him. And yes, he is the greatest of at least our, our era. Yeah. What is it about the Angels that just, it just kind of makes, I don't know, when I see the Angels, just their,

their team colors, their logo, they just seem like a boring franchise, but they are like, they play them in a massive market. It does look boring. Yeah. They're one of a, one of two teams in major league baseball that when they play on the road, they don't have what city or state

they're from on their jersey. And who's the other one? It might've changed right now. The Blue Jays. Oh, well, yeah, that's kind of, yeah. Is that true? Is it true? Or is it a guess?

Well, they might have Toronto, so it might be the city. Yeah. Who's the other one? Tampa. Tampa. Oh, I forgot they had a team. Shit. The Devil Rays.

Devil Rays. Yes. The hard jam. That would be great if Mike Trout got traded to the, to the Rays and everyone's like, he's on the East Coast now. And it just was the same. It's actually funny you bring that up

because those are kind of similar franchises. The Rays have been more successful recently, but even the Rays have been to the World Series last year. They were in the World Series, you know, like a decade ago. They've been pretty damn good and like young, fun players and still people are like, oh yeah, the Rays. I forgot about that. They've been good for so long now

and they don't spend any money that it's become annoying, I think, to everybody. Yeah. I like that. It used to be like a cool story and now it's like Jesus, not again. Yeah. We're going to get back to Dan here in just a second,

but before we do, let's talk about Coors. Let's talk about Coors Seltzer. There's nothing more refreshing in the world than a Coors Seltzer. It's just a fact. Not only does it taste refreshing, but every 12 pack purchase refreshes the rivers with 500 gallons of water.

Now that's refreshing. We've got a countdown clock here in the studio. It's keeping track of how many cases of Coors Seltzer we need to drink before Hank gets to go fishing with his bare hands, catch a fish with his bare hands in the East River, in the Harlem River, in the Harlem River. Alaska.

In Alaska. So right now we are at, we've restored 12,500 gallons of river water here, a part of my take for the rivers. Coors Seltzer is the most refreshing drink there is. Not only is it super, super tasty, the different flavors like lemon, lemon lime, mango. They got black cherry. They're all good.

It is the coldest sounding opening can that you will ever pop open in your life. When you open up a Coors Seltzer, you can already tell like this is going to be a nice, cold, delicious treat. So we're on that mission with Coors. We're gonna save the rivers. The Coors Seltzer scoreboard is here in the studio.

You'll see it behind Hank. Tweet us a picture of you drinking a Coors Seltzer with the hashtag Let Hank Fish. For every pick, we count that as one case added to the scoreboard. So we're counting all the way up to 500 gallons. We're counting all the pictures we get, all the cases we go through at HQ.

So get out there and try it. Go pick up a pack of Coors Seltzer. Tweet a pick of you with your Coors Seltzer at us with hashtag Let Hank Fish. And we're gonna add that to the total that we're keeping track of here. So get Coors Light and Coors Seltzer delivered straight to your door with Drizzly or with Instacart.

Go to CoorsSeltzer.com slash take to see where you can purchase the Rocky Mountain refreshment. Now in Hard Seltzer, Coors Brewing Company, Fort Worth, Texas celebrate responsibly for every 12 packs sold through 12, 31, 2021. Coors will purchase services from change the course to restore 500 gallons of fresh river water,

max five billion gallons going through 2021. Details at CoorsSeltzer.com. I was having a debate with my buddy last week. Maybe you can help me out, give me some insight from the mind of a pitcher. If you were to power rank being nasty, being dirty and being filthy, which one comes first? Filthy would be first.

Okay. Nasty is second and dirty is third. Can you give us a perfect example of like each of those three? Of being who's nasty and who's dirty? Yeah, who's dirty, who's filthy, who's nasty? Jesus. I should have prepped you for this.

Yeah, you should. I asked you for the questions beforehand. You'd never send them to me. I sent you, no. I said, I said, trout being insane, your pug dying, Lakers sucking. And I told you, I didn't watch, I don't watch the Lakers anymore.

And we, we didn't even talk about how tragic a death my pug had either. Okay, all right, let's do it. Do you want to talk about it? Let's shift gears. Yeah, this will turn into a therapy session. Okay. So we went out to dinner.

We rarely leave our dogs outside very rarely. And it's all gated and everything. Wait, wait, wait. I came home and... What's your dog's name? What was your dog's name? Bernie. Bernie.

Okay, all right. So Bernie was, Bernie was old, he was 15. And he had a lot of stomach problems. He had so many like, so many near death experiences. Like I was, I mean, one time he fell down the stairs. He, he fell down, was on his side. It was like running in place. He emptied his bladder, started pooping.

I was just telling him to go toward the light. And he ended up bouncing back and was totally fine like 20 minutes later. Okay. I love dogs like that. I love dogs like that. He's andromically. Yeah.

He is, he is so tough. He had tumors all over the place, but he was 15. We miss Bernie because he was tough, but he wasn't tough enough to get away, I think from the coyotes. No! So... No!

And my wife doesn't even know because I just told her that he had just, he had just passed in the backyard, but I had wrapped him up in a, like a big blanket before she saw, and it wasn't pretty, man. No! It was real.

Wait, how you, you know what though? It's good that you're sharing this grief with us because now we have to shoulder this burden. Yeah. Do you live close to Michael Rappaport by any chance? Yeah. And this is a PSA for locking your dogs up too. I mean, now, I mean, we're even more,

we have the one pug left and we've very, I mean, obviously we have to leave him outside sometimes just to go to the bathroom and stuff, but like, we're more conscious about not leaving him out for too long or at certain times of the night. So it sucked, man.

It was a book. 15 is a long life for a dog. Yeah, but then to go out like that. I know, I know, I'm trying to do, I'm trying to do a positive spin. In a way, it's kind of like circle of life type stuff. What was the other pug doing at the, did the other pug, was it traumatized?

That's what we don't know. The other pug was fine. So because there's a certain way that kind of coyotes, you know, that they attacked according to the vet. And so the way that he, that I found him, I knew that it had been that way. But the other pug was okay,

but I don't know what had happened to him. Maybe we spooked him. Cause it looked like it happened pretty recently when we got home. Oh no. I don't want to imply that your other dog had anything to do with it, but is there a chance that this was just

pug on pug violence? I doubt that. But they, they often got into little fights and tips, but never, never to that extreme. But it was, and if they were to fight, my old 15 year old pug would dominate it. Absolutely dominate it. So there's no way.

So, so the Lakers suck though. Yeah. Easy transition Lakers suck. We were in, but we're in the play-in game though. So that's good. What, what, you, I mean, you're the, probably the biggest Laker fan I know. You watch every game.

He's Laker Dan. He's the Laker Dan. He's pretty much our Laker Dan. Do you feel like last year's championship was a little cheapened by the bubble? No, not necessarily. I think maybe this year may be cheapened because a longer season LA, we haven't had,

we haven't been able to have fans in the stands really. And even now, I was looking into going to a game with my kid to a Laker game, but you can get in, but you're not allowed to eat or drink inside the stadium. So that's like 95% of the fun for my son. Yeah. And also a good portion of fun for me when I get to the stadium.

So, so I'm going to blame it on that. But no, I mean, last year was, it was good. I don't know. basketball just hasn't been the same for me just without the fans, at least in LA. So. Yeah. That was a good spin zone, pre-spin zone.

You would probably agree though that like anything less than a championship is a disappointment of a season this year, right? Yeah. But LeBron, I'm sure we won't win a championship and it'll just be the injuries and. Yeah. He's never going to be back to 100%.

Yeah, he actually, have you ever sprained your ankle? No, but you, Dan, you had an injury that was never, you were never back to 100%. Do you think LeBron's kind of, like he's kind of playing this up a little bit. He's sprained his ankle and then he's saying he's never going to be 100%. You hurt your back.

No. And that happened. LeBron, LeBron, LeBron making excuses, no chance. Come on, that's not him. But this happened to you, this is not fair. The sprained ankle is very serious. It's like that in turf. No, and speaking of my injuries,

the biggest accomplishment of quarantine was I finally got my hip replaced. You did? I had a full hip replacement. Yeah, I did. Fuck, I remember when we were talking last and you were like, yeah, I keep getting it scheduled

and then I just don't show up because I hate the doctor. Very similar to the dentist for me where I put it off for years and years and years. And then it comes back and it's gone too far. Now I've heard with hip replacements now you can just sort of walk out of the hospital the same day. Is that what you did?

I did walk out of the hospital but then I was barfing all night. I don't do good with the anesthesia, so. Yeah. It was that part, so. Did you go to the dentist? Dude, you're not gonna believe this. I was at the dentist a couple of days ago

to get a teeth cleaning. Now, so I had surgery. I don't remember when the last time I was on it. I had surgery because I had let my gums get out of control where they had to do a gum graft. Unfortunately, I'm gonna need the gum graft on the other side. And then I have a couple root canals that I need

but they said I could wait a little bit. So I'm gonna go ahead and wait a few years on those. And then we'll see about the gum graft. Once I start. How? That's not real. I'm trying to see how much gums I could possibly lose on my upper left side.

Like it's gonna, I'll be literally be able to see into my like nasal cavity. See how high they can go. That's weird. The root canal thing is not real. They do not tell you, you don't have to get it. I've had it. It sucks, but they tell you right away.

They're like, yeah, you gotta get a root canal, dude. No, because they say, does it hurt you? And they're shocked because they're like, no, it doesn't hurt me. It's gotta hurt when you get hot or cold on your teeth. No, I'm good. They're like, all right, well, I mean, you can wait, you know, for a little bit.

And I said, okay, yeah, let's just, you know, we got the x-rays, we did the cleaning. We're good. So you just don't have nerves in your jaw. You just don't feel pain in your teeth. Some people are billed different. Yeah, so I like that you've got to clean too. You're basically like driving, it's like getting a car

that's totally broken down. The engine is missing, but you got a car wash. Yeah, I'm still, my teeth have never looked better. They look great. Where do they, where do they take your gum from and put it, I don't understand how a gum graft would do. Do you have like heavy gums on one side and light gums on the other?

No, no, no, no. So they take gums from the roof of your mouth, they slice them off and then they attach the gums to where you're missing gums on the side. So I got put to sleep for that too. Whereas like my 17 year old niece did a gum graft. She had an issue and did one and she did it just while awake and was totally fine.

Where I had to pay out of pocket for an anesthesiologist to come in and put me to sleep for that. Yeah, I'd say that's probably worth it. But I didn't know that your gum was on the roof of your mouth. I just always thought that was roof of your mouth. Yeah, you have gums on the roof of your mouth that they take, they slice it and they take it and then they attach it and they stitch it

onto the side of your teeth. Like where your gums have receded. Oh man. You're doing a great job convincing me to never dip again right now. Thank you. Or never go to the dentist again. I mean, if you don't go to the dentist,

there's nothing that's good. That's true. That is, I mean, I think that's pretty much worth it. Like do you want to go to the dentist twice a year or do you, and just be nervous? Or do you want to go once every 10 years and just get knocked, just have anesthesia all day and get everything taken care of?

Just like a coma for a day and then knock out, you're fine. It's way more efficient that way. I like it. This is why men all have died like 10 years earlier than women because of what you just described. Because I've done the same thing. I once went and I stopped them. They were doing cavity filling

and I did two on one side and I stopped halfway through and I was like, oh, I got a run. I got a meeting I forgot about. And then I just didn't get the other two filled and it became root canals. So I'm in the same boat as you. It sucks. Oh, I skipped all my follow-ups for the kidney stones.

Yeah. I don't know what's going to happen with my body but I'm just assuming that it's going to work its way out somehow. The best is when I heard like- But if you don't go to the doctors, you'll never know and you're good. You're fine.

When I last hurt my back, I went to physical therapy for like four times. And then they were like, all right, so we'll see you next week. And I was like, I think I know all the exercise. Honestly, taking care of your body is a big waste of time unless you're a professional athlete. Which-

Or unless you have kids, like, you know, you got a little kid now, maybe it's nice to get that hour break and go to physical therapy. Just tell your wife it's really important. You got it, you know. True, true. That's what's killing you.

It's nice. Is your wife going to be upset when she finds out about how the pug died? Because- Everyone just chill about it. You chill about it. So like, we're just asking everybody to not mention it to your wife.

Is that the strategy here? Yes. Okay. That is the strategy. Everyone just be sad about Bernie, but don't say why. He's 15. He was 15.

We don't know. Inconclusive, right? Inconclusive. It's like- We don't know. It's like Prince Philip dying. RIP. Yeah, 99.

That's sweet Prince. We think it was old age. We don't know. Maybe a coyote got into the fucking Buckingham Palace. Yeah, you never know. I know that, did you ever get a response in your DMs to the Queen or to Melinda Gates?

I have not, but I'm still, I'm holding out hope for the Queen. That's really my A1, too. I've moved on from Miley Cyrus. I realize that, looks aren't all that important to me. I'm more about power.

I just wanna- But what about Melinda Gates? No? She's pretty powerful. The Epstein connections there make me a little trepidatious. I'm in wait and see mode on that. Although she is gonna have the most fun summer of all time,

like her and her friends, renting an island for like three months at a time. That is a trip I would like to be invited on. Yeah. I never know. All right, Dan, I have one last question. I totally forgot to send you this as well, but I think you're friends with Jared Weaver, right?

Yes. Did you see him? He was talking, I think yesterday or the day before, and I follow him and I think he has good insight to the game, but he was saying essentially, here, I'll read his tweet. He said,

Guys and girls, I'm all for celebrating and having fun on the field, but showing someone up is a different category. People that have never played don't deserve to chime in. What's the difference between showing someone up and having fun? Well, first of all, you're not allowed to chime in. Fuck, you're right.

Shit. Yeah. But for me, since I have played before, I will say I do think the celebrations have gone too far. And it's something I want to talk about on Twitter, but I don't really tweet anymore. It's just too much. Like the Tachi stuff, like he's amazing.

He's great. And I like to let the kids play type stuff, but it's also, I'm going to be in the minority in this and say that seeing like my kids' baseball teams and stuff and how some of the kids act after they hit home runs, I don't like it. They're watching their idols, like I said, do it. And I think too, Weaver comes from a place where

we both played with Trout, and we kind of see how he handles his business, and that's kind of what we like to see. But the game has obviously changed, and there's parts of it I like and parts of it I don't. And I think it's gone a little far. There is a point where you have to kind of be respectful, I thought, back in the day,

where I think that also didn't fans like when someone pipped a homer, and then you hit them in the back, then they did that? I feel like that's kind of gotten lost now, because, oh, it's okay to throw your bat and to act like a clown when you're running around the bases. I actually- It's become normalized.

Yeah, I actually agree with you. I think like many things, the pendulum just swings so far in one direction, and we don't find that perfect middle ground where, to me, it's more about, and I'm sorry that I'm chiming in, I shouldn't chime in, but if I were to chime in, what I would say is it's more about the,

it has to match the moment. Like everyone remembers Batista's bat flip or bat throw. That was in the playoffs. Like that was an enormous moment. If you're playing in the middle of like May or April, and you're throwing bats, like you're in Game 7 of the World Series, what does Game 7 of the World Series look like?

So I think it's less about, like I'm cool with bat flips. I think it's all great. It's fun. Players showing their personality is great for the game, but it's more about like, it has to match the moment, and it has to be like ramp it up so that when we get to October, we see some shit that we don't see,

and we see the emotion that we don't see in April. Right now it feels like we see October energy in April. So when it was the Nats and the Astros in the World Series, and Bregman took his bat to first base, and then Soto hit his, and took his like just further. That's awesome. That's the right time to see that. I also liked it.

I liked it. But like a day game in Cincinnati in April, and yeah, it seems like Game 7 of the World Series, it's a little much. Yeah, I also like that you're kind of the next generation of the old baseball Kermitian. We need somebody coming up like that. Cause I haven't heard anybody kind of like stand on that table

and say that it needs to be down back a little bit. It's good. You're actually smart to not to do that. Because if you start bashing people on Twitter about bat flips and stuff, like you get demolished by people on Twitter, oh, you know, this is what led the kids play all that stuff. Like you can't even say anything anymore,

but you know, I'm better off just keeping my mouth shut on Twitter anyway. I kind of, you know what, you know what we're gonna do? I think we should, this is, we're getting a list of things that Billy football has to do when he comes back from his internship to full-time job. I think we should make him be the bat flip police and just be the guy on Twitter who's like, this is too far

and just let everyone focus their energy on him. And then we can just maybe normalize it. Suggest a punishment for how bad the back flips are. Every time, he's just like, this is not classic. I was pitching for the Marlins in 2015 and I remember I was thrown against the Cubs and Junior Lake, I don't know if you remember. Yes, I know Junior Lake.

He hit a bomb off me and he absolutely pimped it. And I wanted, I literally wanted to kill him. I wanted him to die. And like, I don't know what I ended up doing. I ended up throwing at like Starling Castro or something else, something else that happened. But like, I do miss that about baseball. Like, I mean, I never, you know,

you kind of can police it yourself, but I understand that I'm in the minority in this and that's just the way it is, you know? Yeah, Junior Lake was the guy before the guys where it was like before the Cubs rebuild was finished. We're like, ooh, is Junior Lake one of these guys? He was not. So I would understand your frustration.

Yes. Yeah. Wait, Dan, I'm pulling up your video right now of your home run because I want to see how you react. It's off, off carpenter. Okay, he's winding up. Here comes the pitch. You hit it.

You got good hustle out of the box, but you did take your time. You, you were milking it a little bit around the bases. You slowed up when you got to second base. You kind of realized what had just happened. And you wanted, oh yeah, it took you 20 seconds to get from second to third base in this trot. In my defense, I was a rookie in St. Louis

and Chris Carpenter was on that team. And, you know, maybe he didn't treat me that great in 2003 when I was a rookie. So I, yeah, you know, maybe I took my time. That's fair. My hip was probably killing, my hip was probably killing me. And so, you know, it looks like I'm trotting, but. Sprint.

You're sprinting. You're going as fast as you possibly could. That's actually a full sprint around the bases. Tactical sprint. I did have one last thing I want to ask you about. So Albert Pujols. You already said that. What?

You already said you had one last thing. No, that was big cat. And I still have one last thing. This is, this is how it works. Big cat will say he has last thing. And then I've got a last thing. And that'll remind big cat of his other last. And then I'm going to have my mother's day with my mom,

with my mother and my wife and my, and my mother-in-law. Go ahead. Yeah. Okay. Is there a way, is there a nice way to tell a player that they need to retire? Like what the angels ended up doing with Pujols. Like, so do you have one side of the fence with people being

like, he deserved better than that. And then the other side's like, well, he kind of stinks this year and what, what were they supposed to do? But how do you solve that? That's a very easy answer. And it happened to me, it happened to me once in my career. You just put them on the DL. That's all you do.

I-L, whatever. Yeah. You throw them on there. You know, you got foot soreness and I-L and then transfer them to the 60 day and you kind of forget about them. And then, you know, maybe bring them back in September, something like that.

Damn. That's respect right there. Yeah, that is respect. You should have done that. Yeah. And when you're that age, you can just like find something that you can say hurts. Yes.

Um, Dan, thank you. I always, we always love having you on. I know that you always are hard on yourself, but I'm telling you like the AWLs love when you come on. They always ask for you. I appreciate it. It's hard seeing, seeing the list of guys you have on. It's Mark Wahlberg.

It's the guy from the office. And then it's Dan Herron. So it's, it's tough. It's, you know. No, but I am proud to be one of the first ever guests on the podcast. That's a fact. I am proud of that.

And if everyone wants to just throw Dan a nice tweet being like, hey, it's awesome having you on. Just, you know, I throw 88. He's on Twitter. So just be like, pump them up. Let's gas them up. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

I'd appreciate that. All right. I gotta get, I gotta get back to tweeting too. I'll start tweeting a little more. All right. There you go. There's the deal. So everyone gas them up and he'll tweet a little more.

All right, Dan. Thank you so much. We'll talk soon, man. All right, fellas. All right. See you then. Dan Herron is brought to you by McCain potatoes. I love McCain potatoes.

McCain quick cook fries are a new fry invention that allows you to cook fries in half the time of traditional McCain fries. Less cook time, more anything time. Cook less, do more. They cook them longer so you don't have to. No flipping required. 100% real potatoes, crispy on the outside, soft on the inside. There's no better snack that you can make for yourself at home.

That's easier to do that will taste great every single time than making your own French fries. McCain potatoes, they make the best quick cook fries that you will ever buy, that you'll ever eat. You just bake them in the oven for a healthier alternative. If you air fry, by the way, I'm team air fryer, got an air fryer. Yup.

Life changing. Same. Change your life. Get an air fryer. And if you have an air fryer, that's the best way to cook these potatoes. They're ready in six to eight minutes. In the oven, they take 10 minutes.

It's still super, super fast. Check out their website. See where you can find McCain in a freezer aisle near you. They pair well with ketchup, salsa, melted cheese, ranch, buffa Q sauce, or any of your other favorite dips. Intended to be a fun snack or appetizer, or a great side dish to share with friends and family. Next time you show up and you have

to bring a side dish for a party, for a potluck, for a barbecue, why not bring some French fries? OK. Let's finish up with some two segments and we'll send everyone on their way. The first up is Embrace Debate. What is the exact Embrace Debate? Embrace Debate was DK Metcalf's last place finish

at the World Track and Field Qualifiers. Was it the most impressive last place finish of any race ever run? Did he officially finish last? He finished last. Well, they're saying he finished ninth big cat. And if you ask me how many people competed in the sprint, there were nine.

So no one's saying we're not talking about DK finishing last. We're saying that he finished ninth. First in our hearts, last in the race. Dead last in the race. Now, I will be the bigger man in the situation to say that it was an extremely impressive last place finish. He ran it in 10.37, which is fucking fast as shit. It was crazy.

I watched it, which credit to DK, because if you're a track and field person and you're like, this guy just disrespected our sport or anything like that, I didn't see any of that. But I'm just saying, if there's anyone out there. I saw it. There were a lot of people saying he's going to get straight up embarrassed because there's

that element of track and field, which is they know how fast they are, and they're like, this guy has no business. Yeah, there's a different level of fast. He's going to get run off the track, and he's going to get introduced real quick to the next level of speed. And it turns out he actually competed.

Right. It's kind of like the Canelo and Jake Paul thing we're talking about. There's a different level of athlete. DK is that level athlete. He's not like all the way that level of athlete when it comes to pure speed, but credit to him because I watched, I tuned in.

Like that's track and field. No one talks about track and field except for the Olympics. And they talk about it for one week every four years, right? They should do things like this more often. Absolutely. It's essentially pros versus Joes, but the Joes are also pros in other sports. It was cool to see.

I really enjoyed watching it. Just like by like it wasn't like some incredible experience. But what I'm saying is it was cool seeing DK Metcalf, a guy I know from watching on Sundays, competing against guys like that and putting it all under perspective. DK Metcalf was impressive. And then at the same time, he got embarrassed. He finished the last place.

It's weird because he was way better than I thought he would be. But he also was not even close to as fast as the fastest guys. Right. He, yeah, it was the most, that's what we're saying. It was like the most impressive possible last place finish. I texted him before the race. I said, hope you burn everyone in the 100 meters and qualify for the Olympics.

Good luck. Let me know if you need any tips. And he said, I appreciate it. And if you ever want to release the real footage of what happened, me and you, let me know. Oh, so he's claiming that there was like some doctrine footage. I might be down. Oh, yeah.

OK. We should actually be nicer to Hank because he does contain. He's got a lot on his computer that could absolutely remember that time when I had to have you when I made us like a tape of myself naked after the George Brett. I still have it. Yeah. That was bad.

We put up a GoPro and I just got naked and clean the chili out of my ass fully naked. And it was shirt on. NFT big cats. I'm actually, you know what? If I can get the money for it, I wouldn't be totally opposed. That's on the only fans. Yes.

Yes. One time, Bubba, I asked him to edit a video of me getting out of the bathtub. I was taking a bubble bath and reading Mike Greenberg's book for his birthday. I sent him my thought that I had like shot it carefully. He's like, no, your balls were just hanging out everywhere. He was like, yeah, there was nothing.

I was like, no, I blurred out your dick. I'm sorry, dick. But anyway, DK Metcalf, like he was, yeah, he was impressive, but also got embarrassed. It also puts into perspective how incredible Usain Bolt is because the argument is DK Metcalf is so much bigger than these guys. And DK Metcalf is heavier than Usain Bolt,

but Usain Bolt was 6'5", 2'10", and he was the fastest man ever. I was really impressed actually with DK's like first 20 meters. He was almost tied for first place after 20 meters. But then you get to a point where you can't maintain that same acceleration. They look like they're good. You slow down at a much faster rate than everybody, because everyone slows down over the course of 100 meters.

It was cool. He finished in last place again in a race. Good job. All right, other segment to finish up the show. Dogecoin update, Elon Musk went on SNL. Apparently he tanked. I didn't watch. I saw some of the clips.

Nobody in their right mind should watch SNL with any expectation ever. But this is also kind of the DK Metcalf in track and field. Like I feel like people were like, why is Elon Musk on SNL? Well, because everyone's going to watch or at least talk about it. It would have been sick if he had done the Chris Farley character and been like, I live in a Tesla down by the river. That would be funny.

Damn. Yeah, Dogecoin did. The Tesla truck looks sick. Except you can break it with like a little pebble. But did you see it like there was live footage of it rolling around New York? No. The space truck?

No, I didn't see it. It looks badass. I guess he bombed so badly that Doge went down. But then it bounced back. I'm not fucking selling because it's Doge. And it's going to take a lot more than a mere 40% blip for me to get out of this. Because my goal is just to stick around until July.

If people, like when people ask what's the deal with Doge, it's pretty much one, the memes. And two, it's similar to Bitcoin. And I would say 90% of Bitcoin's value is just a bunch of people online trying to prove a bunch of older people online that they are wrong and everything they know about finance is wrong. That's really it.

It's like the told-your-so factor. There's that. And it's also if you can convince as many people as possible that Bitcoin is legit and just gets it to get people to talk about it, the thing that you have invested in the technology behind Bitcoin, actually the value goes way up if you just get more people to talk about it.

So like with Doge, it's like that. But since it's based on like a joke meme, publicity is 10 times more important than any real value. As far as I can tell, the best thing that can happen to Doge is just a famous person says the word Doge on a massive platform. The bigger the platform, if they say Doge, if they hold up a picture of a Shiba Inu,

that's why I have a blind guy right here. I saw one today. Did you? Yep. Did you pet it? No, it was walking past me. I should have taken a picture, though. But it felt good.

It felt good seeing one today. If you come up to me with a Shiba Inu, I have to tip your dog. I have to pay your dog some more. Wait, are you putting your tip in it? No, no. Tip as in, yeah, just a tip. Are you guys Twitter tipping?

No. I'm not. No. Is it on your, do you have the option? I'll open mine up. You can, you can, oh, Jake, did you tweet, are you Twitter tipping? Jake?

Jake? It's on. But I don't want it to come across where it's like, all right, people are listening. You know what I think you can, I think the problem is that our $75,000 an episode joke has gone so far. You can. But you can.

What if, but like, what if Jake got $5,000 in Twitter tips to get Hank a new ass? Oh, shit, that would be, what's your Twitter handle? My ass is not just up for sale. What's your Twitter handle? Yeah, it is. What's your Twitter handle? PMT Sports Biz?

Yeah, but like, I'm not trying to tell you no. No, no, no, no, people, please tip him. Tip this man so that we can get Hank a new ass. Yes, that's not gonna be my money. Yeah. That's not what I want. That's exactly. No?

Perfect. You wouldn't do it for the show? If it's completely safe cosmetic surgery? I heard it takes like four weeks to recover. All the money is going directly into it. Yeah, actually not being able to sit is the worst thing possible. Oh, you can't sit?

Whoa. Yeah, and you can't be somewhere like in New York City. You're like Lieutenant Dan. Yeah, you gotta be somewhere. Oh yeah, okay, so you go to Hawaii. Yes, I'll get ass surgery in Hawaii. And you would have to do, like instead of sitting, you'd have to have like a desk

that you could lay down on your belly on. Yeah, I don't know. I figured out standing desk or something. Yeah. Would you, if you weren't allowed to sit, but you got to move to Hawaii, do you think that you would actually like to live there? No sitting.

What a question. Yeah, I just surfed the whole time. Yeah, whole time. Okay, you can't sit ever. You either have to be laying down or standing up, but you get to live in Hawaii. I mean, no, obviously not. I don't know, I think you could find a way.

I think I would end up laying down all the time. Yeah, you just lay down. Jump at the time differences, dude, like it would suck to live there, right? What? No, who's that impression of? That's you guys. Yes.

Is that what we sound like? Yeah. Damn. Dude, football starts at 10 AM, I can't do that. Yes, I stand by all that. Are you serious, dude? I stand by all that. I stand by all of that.

All right, so if you tip Jake, $5,000. Hank gets a new ass. $49. $73. $18. Hank needs a win. Come on, $43. $74.

I have an animal fact and I have a journalism fact. Remember, we're doing both. Yeah, keep going to us. We're doing either or. Are we doing either or? Journalism fact. All right, journalism fact. Lester Holt was kicked out of a radio station in Alaska

when he was 11 years old. What? Fascinating. His brother worked there and he didn't work there and I guess the people said, you don't work here, you can't be here. I was in a restaurant in New York, like maybe two, three years ago.

That's what he said, love you guys. And there was a guy that was playing bass on stage and I was like, that guy looks like Lester Holt. And I went up closer and Lester Holt was playing in a classic rock cover band, playing bass. Yes, he was. And he's actually pretty good. It was crazy.

Of course he is. What's the animal fact? Ghost crabs growl using teeth in their stomachs. Whoa. Love you guys. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh He's had a little right to try my best Poppin' shit, pullin' nothing, choppin' shit Gotta argue with him, he's a nigga He was a pocket bitch, he niggas out here prayin' Gotta make him understand, been away On my finger, you ain't goin' on my friend

And my big bum ass, hey, that's the shack I a jury on the bass, hey, I've been looking bad Then I'm with that girl, girl, make a nigga act right Girl, boy, told the dirty, lookin' out of that bag Lick bag, put it up, the pretty bag Take a movie, let's see what the party's like Fuckinception,schvunki, just get back Depass like a man, hoe, me, Itís just messin'

Better think of man, fuckin' babe Fuckinception, schvunki, just get back Get it off, get it off, get it off Get it off, then, jesuc, jesuc, jesuc Get it off, then, jesuc, jesuc, jesuc, jesuc, jesuc, jesuc, jesuc, jesuc He's left to take our arms, clinician Got a beat, son Got an ordinary type in bed

You're the one who likes everything you say to me It's the better thing to say to someone Hey, man, what's the matter with me, man? Take a nap, well, that's the other party That you know can do this, fuck it Hey, man, what's the matter with me, man? Take a nap, well, that's the party That you know you can do this, fuck it

It's the opposite, opposite, opposite stuff It's the opposite, opposite, opposite stuff Hey, bitches, they fuck you with me now When I can see why 30 s's, 30 s's, bitch, you like me, man Bitches won't smoke until I bring it to the doorstep Cut that bitch, that ad rep, more like Orson Put it on him now, he will never be the same

Cut it on my ass, cause I'm bringing like a pig You let it on my butt, I said I'm glad that you came But that nigga had a tan, I would let him run the train Take a face back, listen at the billy bang Take a limbo, let's get the party back You know you can do this, fuck it Take a face back, listen at the billy bang Take a man fucking back, party back

You know you can do this, fuck it It's the opposite, opposite, opposite stuff It's the opposite, opposite, opposite stuff It's the opposite, opposite, opposite stuff It's the opposite, opposite, opposite stuff Look, you got a clear stage No face, no case Thanks for watching!