Pardon My Take - Dan Patrick + Mt Rushmore Of Moments We Wish Twitter Existed

Episode Date: July 23, 2018

Tiger was back and then he wasn't. The course at Carnoustie won the weekend as well as hungover golfers (2:23 - 11:30). Whos back of the week + The Mt Rushmore of moments we wish twitter existed for (11:30 - 35:18). Dan Patrick joins the show for the first time since his Barstool Van Talk episode 2 appearance to talk about sports media in 2018, how much longer he's going to work, and MJ vs Lebron (yes we made him debate this with us) (35:18 - 84:42). Segments include hurt or injured for Noah Syndergaard getting hand foot and mouth disease, thoughts and prayers to the tragic passing of Tony Sparano, Bad Visual Brewers fans giving a standing Ovation to Josh Hader, Stay Woke Lebron is building the all blame team, and a spinzone for Jimmy GYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have Dan Patrick for a nice, long interview. Really interesting stuff. We haven't talked to him since our television show got canceled and it was fun to catch up with him. We talked about that.

We talked about sports media in 2018. We got him into a little LeBron vs. MJ debate that he didn't want to be in, awesome interview, and we have maybe the most contentious Mount Rushmore of all time. It is the Mount Rushmore of events we wish Twitter existed for, so make sure you listen to that. And we also have a little hand and foot mouth disease or whatever the fuck it's called because notice in the guard and the Mets are officially exploding, imploding, whatever you want to call it before we get to all of that.

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Today is Monday, July 23rd, and Tiger was back for a second. He was back on Saturday, it was an electric day, he shot what, a 66 on Saturday? Yeah, but he was back on Sunday, he was in first place on Sunday for a Masters, I couldn't believe my eyes. Major. Sorry, for a Major. Twitter was a buzz, the golf world was a buzz, dads all across the country were waking up from their naps and being like, man I better watch this, so Tiger, he was back for a minute,

and then he hit a guy with a golf ball and like everything fell apart from that moment on. Yeah, I bet, I hope that guy's real asshole, the guy that got hit, and I hope it affects him like down the line, I hope it becomes like a Steve Bartman situation, because he took, he took something very important away from us. He took Tiger being in contention on the 18th hole of a major championship in the year of our Lord 2018, away from the world, and that is something that I'm not ready to forgive just yet.

It was so good though, because like, listen, I know we have fun with Tiger, he's back, he's not back, he's back, back and forth. When Tiger is involved in a Major on Sunday, there's nothing like it in sports, and just to have those few moments, I think it was like whole, I don't even know what it was, like whole 11 to 14, he had an unbelievable bunker shot, and everyone was like, this actually could happen. Like Tiger could actually do it. He's wearing his Sunday red.

Everyone was excited, and then he falls apart and you get the entire Tiger roller coaster where then the trolls who I hate coming out and bashing Tiger, I discuss me to see as Tiger fans. It's disgusting. It's Tiger State. They had their field day. Yeah, they had their field day, and we all had to, you know, walk away and be like, all right, well, how many days till the PGA championship?

Is that even a major? Who knows? But maybe he'll win that one. I think that we should go for an all-time record on this show and try to talk about a major championship without ever mentioning the person who won the tournament and just talk about Tiger the entire time. Okay, so I'll allude to the person who won. No, no, no.

Did you see? I don't want to. Hold on, hold on. I'm not going to say his name. I'm not going to say his name. Did you see that the person who won, Rick Riley spoke Italian to him to try to flex everyone in the post-game press conference. I did see that, but I'm not, I don't want to think about the guy.

The real star of this tournament was Tiger. Everybody knows that. That in the course, the course was a shining star this weekend. I heard one announcer say that the bunkers are playing bigger than they actually are. So they, the bunkers at Carnousty, they rise to the occasion. That's always nice to see. And the second or the third star, if we're going like hockey here, the third star is going to be the guy that shot a 67 on the final day hungover.

Yes. What's his name? Eddie Peperole or something. Great name. He basically was like, yeah, got away from me. He had the most relatable story. He shot like shit on Saturday and said that he went with his manager and had a few too many glasses of wine.

He was over serves. Yeah. Cause he was so pissed. And then when he came out on Sunday, he's like, yeah, I didn't really give a fuck what I was going to shoot. I was hungover. I didn't feel great. And then he shot a 67.

I was like, yeah, I guess maybe I'll try this again. Yeah. The problem is that guy's going to become a full fledged alcoholic now. Like it worked once. I'll put it this way. If that guy was a baseball player, he would drink probably like 12 glasses of wine every single night out of superstition. Yeah.

Be weighed box. Yeah. I feel like golfers aren't quite as superstitious. They're in the words of Michael Scott, a little suspicious, but I think that he's definitely going to give that a shot again. And he's a solid role model for the future of golf. Like say what you want about, you know, it being a gentleman's game and all that crap about the sport, golf would be a lot more fun if every single professional was hungover

all the time. Like puking on the course, cussing at each other, smoking cigarettes, even though they don't usually smoke. That'd be great. Mm hmm. I'd agree. And so if we're going to go four star, it's Phil Mickelson wearing like a weird dress shirt for the tournament.

I think Phil's at the point of his career is like, Hey, listen, I'm probably not going to make any headlines unless I blatantly cheat in front of everyone. So maybe if I just dress a little weird, maybe show a little little tatas, little taters for the boys, people are going to start talking about Phil. Yeah. I want to just go back real quick. Wednesday, Saturday got absolutely embarrassed. People dunking on carnousty left and right Sunday.

That's how a course comes back. Exactly. We saw it in Shinne как the course bouncing back like that. Like that's, that's when you know the course is for real. And that's when I'm like, you know what is a true golf guy? The course won. Tiger came in second. The Italian guy, also kind of really don't want everybody.

Let's say his name once, it isn't like always good in Scotland or did I just make that up? I think if, well, here's the thing with Tiger, he was so damn good at golf for so long that you can be like, this is Tiger's course for essentially every course in the world. It's just that it was Tiger's course 15 years ago. Tiger loves Carnousty, he loves the Highlands, he loves Haggis.

He loves the Lynx. He loves Haggis. Tiger loves anything where you stuff a bunch of meat up into some guts. That's his game. Are there Perkins' in Scotland? No, someone searched it and there are actually no Perkins. So maybe that's why he played well.

His mental focus, actually that's the best part about Tiger being back because if Tiger had that moment where he was in first and all the announcers were like, the Tiger effect's coming, everyone's starting to feel the pressure of Tiger and then he fell apart and they're like, Tiger's mental game's not there yet. And it just goes back and forth. Here's a little sabermetric, like we talk about

the McDonald's law of economics and more. Tiger Woods has won a major tournament in every single country that has a Perkins restaurant. True, yeah, that's a fact. Wait, they don't have them in Canada? Well, there haven't been any majors played in Canada. Oh yeah, that's right. I thought maybe there was like PGA.

You know how like we're doing the World Cup in Mexico and like Canada, who knows, maybe there was a major there. What the hell, there's probably a course in Canada. Yeah, I'll give it to him. Cool, Mike Weir, shout out Mike Weir. Also shout out Francisco Molinari, good job dude. I had to say his name once. I had to say his name once.

All right, let's do who's back. Let's do who's back and then we'll get to our very contentious Mount Rushmore. PFT, why don't you start with a who's back? I got a big who's back of the week. You guys might know of him. His name's Joe Flacco. He's the starting, he's QB1 for the Ravens.

That's gonna be big this year by the way. He's just calling your guy QB1 all the time. He is back, he's been practicing. Obviously the Ravens were the first team to get into pads and start training camp one day before your Bears and he's lighting it up out there. Here's a quick quote, you wanna hear this? Joe Flacco's mobility is night and day

compared to last year. He's healthy now. Flacco is full speed, the difference is evident, no limitations as a scrambler or even on designed runs. So they're opening up the playbook for Flacco. They're gonna let him sew off the wheels. I mean, if you're a real football guy like me, you probably know that what they're doing here

is actually they're just like putting in a playbook so there's not gonna be a transition for when RG3 takes over as a starter. So they're like putting in all these like spread options. Read options, yeah. Someone reads. So yeah, I mean, RG3, I guess that bodes pretty well for him, but there's another guy on the roster too

that's looking pretty good, but he's not gonna be a challenge to my QB1, Joe Flacco. This is gonna be the year that he settles the debate once and for all. My favorite part about Joe Flacco, Lamar Jackson thing is Joe Flacco is like painfully oblivious to the fact that the Ravens used a first round pick on a quarterback and he's been terrible for so many years that they're like,

he's like, what do you mean? I'm the quarterback forever for the Ravens. I signed that contract that lasts 25 years. Like what do you guys talk, why are you asking me about Lamar Jackson? Yeah, Joe Flacco approaches a job like a college professor with tenure or like a Supreme Court justice.

You're not getting fired. He is the QB1 of the Ravens. He won the Super Bowl for him. People don't talk about it, so did Trent Dillford, but like he did it more recently. He's QB1. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Take it easy there, good morning, football.

Don't rip off their whole thing. Okay, I'll try to back off on that one. But yeah, but Flacco's back. He is back and I disagree with a little bit of what you said. He does know, he can feel, I think he feels the fact that he's supposed to feel pressure.

I don't think he actually feels it, but he is like, yeah, you know, like there's another quarterback here, but you know what, we're gonna be so good this year that we're not even gonna talk about that. And I love how they're putting in plays where it's Flacco and Lamar Jackson on the field at the same time,

just like being as passive aggressive to Joe Flacco as possible. Like, I think we talked about he's slowly gonna be moving Lamar Jackson closer and closer to under center in these new plays that they're putting in. Yeah, Joe, why don't you go wide out here? Oh yeah, Joe, actually, you know what? Why don't you go on the sidelines for this play?

Let's just see the look. Like we'll run with 10 guys. You be the 11th, but you stand on the sideline. Let's see the look here. And then all of a sudden it's like, well, let's throw one more wide receiver in there, Joe. You stay on the sideline, and then boom, Lamar Jackson's your starting quarterback.

Yeah, here's the thing though about RG3. Like Flacco's strength, I think we all agree, is throwing a deep ball and getting pass interference called on him, right? That's his game. I cannot think of any football player in the history of the NFL that would be more effective at drawing a pass interference than Robert Griffin.

The way that he just like, his body explodes and goes flailing in as many directions as possible the second he gets touched, he's like Neymar out there. Like the guy would be an amazing receiver whose only job is to run like directly at the safety and get his ass lit up right before the ball comes in. Yeah, no, it's not a bad theory.

I do have one contention there. Flacco's greatest strength is actually being violently boring, like aggressively boring, but the second is throwing pass interference balls. Obviously you haven't seen his tostitos or Pepsi commercials because he's actually, he's got a very dry sense of humor. He's lighten it up. All right, I'll go because speaking of dry sense of humor,

the other guy who has just jumping off the screen and wanting everyone to like him, Kauai Leonard, loving Toronto is back. So this is going to be my favorite subplot of the 2018-19 NBA season. Kauai Leonard, does he like Toronto or not? It was reported that he hates it. He didn't leave his hotel room during the All-Star game,

but now we have a new report of someone who might be close to Kauai saying, trust me, Kauai is going to fall in love with Toronto. He's going to love it. He's not going to leave. So that's your update on Kauai Leonard. Will he or will he not stay or play or ever do anything else on a basketball court

because no one's talked to him in like 10 months and his uncle has taken his brain and is now speaking for him. I could see Kauai putting in a lot of time before he gets up to Toronto, like learning French, just to prepare himself and he gets up there and then they're like, no, we don't speak French. That's Montreal.

Well, and Kauai learning French means like he learns like three words in French because he doesn't say anything otherwise. Kauai Leonard could speak like, he could set a Guinness World Record for the most amount of languages that he's fluent in. Yes. Yes, we just wouldn't know.

He just doesn't talk. He just never speaks. He can say hello. He can say hi and no, my leg hurts in every language. Talk to my uncle. Yeah. And sorry, I'm not here right now. He picks up the phone and says, sorry, I'm not here.

Is it the Spurs? I'm sorry, I'm not right here right now as he scurries under his bed. Hank, go ahead with your who's back. My who's back of the week is six nine jokes. So after we all know six nine jokes got killed when Darren Revelle put $6.90 on the Browns to win the Super Bowl this year.

But the rapper, Takashi69, who has been on Instagram and shit recently, like putting up all these videos with him with all this money. He just bought this new like $750,000 chain. In a shocking turn of events, he got kidnapped, robbed and pistol whipped and stole like got the $750,000 of jewelry stolen

and 150 grand of cash. Is he okay? He's fine. Did they find him? They found, he's fine. So how, where did the kidnapping come in? I never, I've never heard of a kidnapping that like turns out the way the kidnappers had planned.

Like did he pay ransom and everything? And they're like, okay, fair, fair play. They, they, he pulled up to his house. They were waiting for him at his house, like took him, brought him back to his house, like raided his house basically and then left. And he went to the hospital. Are you sure it wasn't just his friends like hanging out?

Well, that's what he thinks it's an inside job. Yeah. Okay. Cause I was going to say like I went to two, I went to a doubleheader of baseball yesterday and I could very well make the case I was kidnapped because I can't watch that much baseball like anymore. I'm too old. So I think I feel like that might be the case.

Like he just went and hung out with his friends and then he's like, wait, I really want to go home. And, but he had to be social. And then he got kidnapped. He pretended to get kidnapped. I like, he set himself up or maybe he was just rushing a frat. That's what you do, right?

Ooh. You get kidnapped. Hey, hey, hey pledge, drink 20 beers and give me your chain. Yes. Yeah. Hey, Hank, I got a quick question for you. Is the 50 cent Floyd Mayweather beef real or staged? I mean, they're basically just like someone said it on Twitter. I think it was KSC said they're like Sammy and Ronnie.

Like they're just like every, every nine or so months that'll just flare back up and they'll just go at each other. It's real though. Like the shit they're saying to each other is real. But I mean, 50 cent, no one will ever come back from 50 cents saying it'll pay 750 grand if you read one page of a Harry Potter book. And Floyd Mayweather couldn't do it.

That was kind of the end of the beef. That was the end of the, that was, that was the end of the beef. And also I think it was Floyd, the one who said put the Instagram up this weekend. Yeah. Yeah. He just put way too many words in it. Like I read the first two sentences like I'm not going to read all. He was trying to show off.

And no, there's no way he wrote it. Yeah, he was like, he was way, he wrote. He was overcompensating for the fact that he's illiterate by like having somebody type up 5,000 words for him. Yes. Yeah. No one fact checked it. Actually, after the first two sentences, it was just the first chapter of Moby Dick.

Yeah. Like he just copy and pasted it. Call me, call me Floyd. Yes. All right. Let's do our Mount Rushmore. Mount Rushmore of times you wish Twitter existed. All right. Before we get to Dan Patrick, let's do our Mount Rushmore. This is Mount Rushmore.

We've actually been talking about for a couple of weeks. I think it's going to be, wait for it, very contentious. And it is the Mount Rushmore of moments that we wish Twitter existed. So you can be sports, it can be history, it can be anything. Moments that you wish Twitter existed so that you could think the llama chase, how hot Twitter was when the llamas were running

around that neighborhood. I remember when the balloon flew away. Like the army balloon, not balloon boy. I'm talking when the army had like a runaway blimp. Oh yeah, people were chasing that one down. Any kind of like chase or anything like that. All right. Should we start? Let's do it.

Hank, would you like to go? I'd love to go. Okay. Let's do it. All right. My number one, I'll go with the Malus of the Palace. Yep. That's an easy one. That's an easy one.

I remember I stayed home from school sixth the next day and they just, they showed that clip on Sports Center over and over and over again for like a seven hour street. Yep. Twitter would have made it a lot more interesting. Twitter would have been amazing. I remember watching that in college and being like, what is going on? That's pretty sweet.

That's a hot start right there. Yeah. Okay. PFT. Okay. I'm going to get started with the Mike Tyson Holyfield earbite. That's good. That's good. I also had that on my list. That's a really good one.

That was one since it was Pay Per View. Yep. You had to wait like probably two days to actually get the video of it out there if you didn't buy the fight. Yep. All right. I will go with... Did they have DVR back then?

No. No. That was probably 10 years when did they invent DVR? Tivo came out in what like 2000 but nobody knew how to use Tivo. Tivo software first came out. Yeah. I want to say like DVR was really a thing in like 2004 or five.

But you did have like a VHS recorder where you could record what you were watching on live TV but then you'd have to have already purchased the fight and you had to be legally recording it. Then you had to like find somebody with those tapes and you had to borrow their tape. It was a big thing. There was nothing better too than like

because we were just old enough that we got like the tail end of the Tyson time and being like getting together for like, I remember I got together with for Tyson. Who's it? Who's the British guy? Lennox Lewis. Lennox Lewis. Like that, the getting together for a big fight feel, I feel like it's a little lost

because now you can just scroll through your TV and be like, oh yeah, I'll buy this tonight. Yeah. Super easy. Yeah. You don't set it up. You're not like, who's buying the fight? Who's buying the fight? Yeah. You don't have to call like a week in advance to get it ordered.

Right. Right. Like I got the fight guys. Make sure you come over. All right. I got two. I'll go with the OJ Chase. That one. Solid.

I mean, I don't even, that would have been and the finals was going on during it, right? So it would have been an out of control day for Twitter. And then my second one, I'm going to go with the Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan whole things. Pretty good one.

The jokes and like the stories, just anything where like the facts come out pretty quickly, but it's a little bit of a, you know, like, like, uh-oh, like Nancy Kerrigan was attacked and everyone just flips out on Twitter. And then you get the life of that like week, being like, actually it was Tonya Harding who did it and Jeff Luley.

So that would be an unbelievable one to be a part of. Yeah. As a matter of fact, I bet you there would be a lot of Twitter sleuths that would already connect to that before we found out that it was Tonya Harding. There would probably be a video of the guy running away. Like you'd have all that. You'd have a live periscope.

Someone would whip out their phone in periscope, Nancy Kerrigan, you know, screaming and we'd all watch it. We saw the why me, but like being able to watch that instantly. The actual fight, the actual attack. Yeah. You know, Twitter's made it a lot more difficult for celebrities to get away with committing crimes.

That's a real shame. Real shame. Scare Mucci is probably very upset. That's the thing with a lot of these. If Twitter existed during these times, these things probably wouldn't have happened. Tonya Harding still would try to club someone. People have always been pretty dumb.

Yeah. In OJ, yeah. Yeah. There's a couple of things that might not have happened the same way, but yeah, for the most part, I think Tonya Harding was dumb enough to do that no matter what. Okay. My next one is going to be, I'm going to go with Miracle on Ice.

That's a great one. Just cause every, Another one I had on there. The thing about the Miracle on Ice is it's one of those events where everybody would actually be on the same page and like pulling for the same side. There wouldn't be too much roasting going on. We'd be roasting the Commies,

the Pinko Bastards, the USSR. There would be a lot of good jokes, I'm sure, at Russia's expense and a lot of American flag emojis. Yes. That would be an unbelievable moment to live watch everyone. All right. You know what it'd be. It'd be like, after the first period, people would joke and be like,

well, this course stays the same way. We're going to win nine to nothing. I'd love to see the rebel times after that. And then after the second one, it would be like, are we really going to do this? Yes. Is this really happening? And then, oh, and then you know what we get? There was charts that show when America is using

the bathroom in between periods. There would just be so much good stuff going on. And then you just have a, oh my God, sports. I love sports that like whenever a big moment happens and like 40 million tweets come down that just say nothing. Yes. Let's predict what the rebel daily times would read. Ice can't believe it.

Oh, that's good. Yeah. That's good. I think that's probably what it would. I'm trying to think. Something with USSR, he like. USSL. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah. Catch these L's.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, rebel times. We should just do that. We should just start making rebel times. Let's make time machine. Yeah. Let's do that. Hot take time machine. Okay. Yeah. We're going to start doing that.

We promise. On this day in history. We promise. We're going to start doing rebel times on this day in history. All right. I have two. I will go with a MJ retiring out of nowhere the first time. That the conspiracy theories I would have come out of there

would have been hilarious. And the Kim Kardashian sex tape. The day after that Twitter. I mean, because some things, like they're big events, but like you got to think about Twitter when Twitter's at its funniest when you mix like celebrities and like shit like that. Absolutely.

Yeah. It's a combo of like the salaciousness, but also the jokes that will come out. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what? I actually had this one on my list. I'm not going to use it, but I did have. Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, I'm saying I had the panel. Well, someone else might use it.

Oh, well, they shouldn't because you just took Kim Kardashian sex tape. I was going to say the Pam Anderson sex tape. Yeah. But that's too close. The great thing about both those sex tapes is they went viral, especially the Pam Anderson one, they went viral before there was really a means to go viral. I think I broke like three computers in my parents' house from that.

Just trying to find it. What year was that? What year was that? That was probably like 95. Tommy Lee Honkin, the boat horn with his dick. Yeah. Can you imagine the most intimidating thing I've ever seen in my life? Can you imagine just like what it takes to go viral

when you don't even have email? Yeah. You just go through straight where everyone's talking about it. Yeah. Okay, P.F.T., you got your third. Nahank goes twice, right? He just did two. He did two.

Okay, I'm so bad at this name. All right, my next one is going to be George H.W. Bush puking on the prime minister of Japan. That's a good one. They were at a state dinner, he got food poisoning, and he threw up on their prime minister while he was president. I like that one.

I like that one. The streets would be hot. That's a really good one. The gifts and everything coming out of that. What year was Twitter created, by the way? Are we saying because I think we all agree on these like Twitter wasn't really Twitter until like 2012, right?

Wait, so yeah, let's look up the Kim Kardashian date. What date was that? I think Twitter existed, but it didn't really exist. No. Kim Kardashian was like 2004. It might have been. It was Kim Kardashian sex tape. I'm just going to Google Kim Kardashian sex tape.

Yeah, you'll be good. You'll be good. OK, so, but I'm asking that for my next one, because. OK, well, it was leaked in 2007. OK, so, but I think we all agree that like the start is like 2011. She has, she's really blossomed. Why don't you walk us through it real quick?

OK, well, there's a gentleman, and it looks like there's a man and a woman who love each other very much. OK. She actually appears to love him a lot, although she's not able to talk right now. OK, now he is approaching her from behind. And it looks like he spilled some clam juice on her. OK, all right, so that was the live reading of the Kim

Kardashian sex tape. All right, so I ask that because I have two. One is clearly outside of the zone. The other one is right before Twitter really became Twitter. The first one I have is the Cuban Missile Crisis. So the Cuban Missile Crisis, like when the world is about to go like in a nuclear standoff, I think Twitter might have actually had it happen.

Yes. Like if JFK was tweeting at the Russians, like that probably would have caused the Cuban Missile Crisis to actually happen. Yeah, there are two schools of thought on that. One, the people who would be making jokes about it online, the jokes would be fucking hilarious. Yeah, they would.

It would be like the ultimate gallows humor when the entire world's ass is in the jackpot. And people being like, all right, well, we're all about to die. So we might as well just tweet out like the craziest things we can tweet out. So that's the other side of the coin, is I think there would be a lot of people not on Twitter because everybody would just be fucking around

and just like doing, it'd be a purge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'd just be doing everything that we've ever wanted to. 13 days though of just, hey, this might be the last moment. I'm going to tweet out my hottest take. All right, and then my last one, this one happened right before Twitter became really Twitter. Tiger Woods getting in that car accident.

How do you say her last name? Nordgeren? Egland's best. The entire Tiger Woods, that entire November, when the National Enquirer came out with news, he gets in the car accident, all Rachel, what's her name? You could tell. I didn't finish the Tiger Book, by the way.

I just want to say that I have officially given up. I got 70% through. That's better than I've ever done. I got through the entire November of 2009 situation. So that was really the juicy part. But those jokes, and that entire month, watching Tiger fall, because we've never actually seen an athlete like that go from the best

and this pristine guy to, oh shit, he fucked everything in sight for the last 10 years. Twitter would have been awesome. Okay, my last one, this is a bit of a wild card. It's a real throwback. I'm going to go with Columbus discovering the new world. Can you imagine just how blown your mind would have been at that point?

But would we have known, we would have known it existed because Twitter was there. Do you think the Native Americans didn't have Twitter? Wow, dude. No, they had their own. They had their own, like lacrosse, they had their own games that they were playing. Oh, like there isn't there like a Twitter in China? Yeah, Weebo.

Yeah, so you're saying they would have Weebo. They had Weebo, because yeah, they got it from crossing the land bridge. But like, can you imagine just discovering that there was an entire other side of the world? Blow your mind. Blow your mind, big time. All right, Hank, your last one.

My last one, I will go with a couple of tough choices, but I'll go with the Red Sox comeback in the ALCS 2004. Great. All right. First team to ever do it, Evil Empire. People would have been, would have been a lot of cold takes exposed. A lot of cold takes. Would have been really fun.

Yes, would have been great. Don't you guys agree? Yeah. All right, what did we miss? I was actually at that game, Hank, in New York. Which one? Game seven. Oh, wow.

Yeah, game seven. Lucky you. Wow. How about that? Not to brag. What did we miss? So I left one off intentionally that would have been an all-time moment, but I actually, like, it would have been a terrible moment,

the Bartman incident, because people would have had his address, like, instantly. Like, I mean, they did pretty quickly, but it would have been... What? Like, it was bad. It would have been so, so bad.

What's the opposite of getting milkshake duck, though? Like, what if somebody had discovered that Steve Bartman was actually a really good guy after they already hated him? But you know how Twitter acts. Like, Twitter would have had everything. It would have been... He would have found his Reddit history.

It was already bad. It would have been way, way worse. So I intentionally left that off for that reason. Gilbert or Renus Javar's Critten incident. That's a good one. That would be a solid one. Off of your second pick, or first pick, Tyson Douglas would have been unbelievable.

Yes, because that's the biggest, like, upset, basically, in boxing history. What about Hitler's death? Hitler's death would have been... That would have made Osama's death look like just a walk in the park. Do you think he would have done a periscope? Hitler?

I think, yeah, I think he would probably have to. That's a good question for Jack at Twitter. If Hitler was periscoping himself, killing himself, would you have taken that down? No, well, yeah, Jack would have let all the Nazis be on Twitter. Yeah, Jack is very... You gotta...

It's freedom of speech. You gotta hear both sides. I had Lakers King's Game 7, 2002. But he would have suspended Hitler for attacking Hitler. Yes, exactly. For his beliefs. Yes. Lakers King's Game 7, 2002 would have been awesome.

Oh, yeah, that's a Donagy game, right? People would have been going nuts. What about... Magic Johnson's press conference. Magic Johnson's press conference. Band on the field. Band on the field. Woody Hays punching or choking.

Bobby Knight throwing a chair. There's so many sports moments. Oh. Bobby Valentine. Bobby Valentine coming back to the clubhouse. Robin Ventura and Nolan Ryan getting into that fight. Yes. Oh my God.

If that had happened when Twitter was around, he would have gotten crying Jordan put on his face and crying Jordan hadn't even happened yet. Yes. That's how powerful of a moment that would be. John Cheney, John Calpari press conference. When John Cheney came in and I'll fucking kill you, I'll fucking kill you.

I feel like the entire 1986 Mets off season would have been lit. Yes, Buckner. That would have been an unbelievable moment. That Mets off season would make the capitals Stanley Cup celebration look like Girl Scout Parade. Look like they were just like pre-gaming. Yeah.

Shout out. It falls into the like technically Twitter existed but the decision, the first decision of 2010 would have been fucking hilarious. That was too early for like real Twitter. I totally agree. Mankind Undertaker. When he threw him off the cell,

that was pretty damn cool. Yeah. Let's see what it was. I'm trying to think. Oh, Joe Thysman's leg getting broke. Joe Thysman's leg, yep. Vince Carter dunk on France. Mm-hmm.

That would have been an all-time gifts and everything going around. Jose Canseco having the ball bounce off his head and go for a home run. Yep, yep. That would have been amazing. So the best part about this one is we probably missed a million.

And you can tweet us at Pardon My Take. I feel like this is one of the most open-ended Mount Rushmore's ever done. I mean, we did leave out a pretty big one. That was the Kin Star report coming out. The Kin Star report on President Clinton. He wasn't even alive. Were you alive?

98, 99. No, you were alive, yeah. That thing was as thick as the Bible and every single page contains some hilarious little answer. I jerked off to it. Yeah, oh yeah. Dude, big boner. Are you serious, dude?

It was basically pin-house form, yeah. Why, where did you read it? Where would you scoop up one of these? It was in The Washington Post. Yeah, and it was also early, early internet. Yeah, it was awesome. So that would have been holy. Twitter would have been just one cascade of screenshots

about various objects that President stuck into an intern's vagina. All right, so tweet us at part of my take. I feel like there's a million we missed and it'll be awesome to see them all. Like sports moments. The mouths of the palace, fuck. The tuck rule.

Ooh. Tuck rule would have been some heat. Yeah, that would have been. That was also one of those things where it's like, it was before the Patriots or the Patriots. So it's like, I don't know that it would have been as contentious as it could be now. Yeah, you couldn't even make classic Patriots jokes.

There also, there's also just being like the, like just being in the 90s on Twitter and being like John L. Ways can't win the big one. Like I would have been one of those guys big time. Like just John L. Ways, a hot fraud. Those kind of things would have been so great. Dan Marino's life would have been so shitty. So shitty, so shitty.

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It is Dan Patrick. The last time he was on these airwaves was the unseen, never released Barstool Vantalk episode two. The hidden tapes. Yeah, so let's start there. What bad thing is gonna happen to us after this interview? Well, I got blamed for Vantalk. Yeah, which is ridiculous.

And I said, I didn't do anything. But boy, that fan base was kind of tough on me. And I said, all I know is I did it and then all of a sudden it got canceled. It was just a coincidence that I went on there. And so much so that John Skipper, while he was still the president of ESPN before he stepped down, he said,

Dan, I gotta apologize. You're probably, people think that you're the reason why Vantalk's got canceled, but you know, you didn't. And I said, I know I didn't. The fan base feels like I'm the reason why Vantalk's got canceled. Well, that's messed up that he apologized to you and hasn't apologized to us.

Yeah, that's true. I'm a little offended by that. We were still waiting for our apology. Maybe if you had let us light you on fire while you said in Fuego, the show wouldn't have gotten canceled. So it is your fault. That was the moment we realized the show

wasn't gonna be a long time show, long running show when our producer walked up to us before our interview with you, he said, guys, bad news, we can't light Dan Patrick on fire. And we're like, why not? This is the show we wanna make. I don't know if you know that, but that was our plan. We were gonna light a small fire underneath your seat.

No, no, no, no. We were gonna light you on fire. We had like a long torch lighter and we were just gonna get you to say in Fuego and try to light you actually on fire. Well, I smelled gas, but because that van, I smelled a lot of things. So I never put two and two together.

You cheated death. Tricky death. Yeah, thank you. Just the sentence though, if our producer would be like, guys, bad news, we can't light Dan Patrick on fire. Like, what do you mean? Why?

Like, come on. You're interrupting my creative process right now, producer. Yeah, well, I'm glad I'm back. Yeah, we appreciate you actually giving us the time of day that first time around. So you actually just had a little, maybe a cup of coffee with the ESPN a few months ago, when you had negotiations that you,

there was rumor that you were talking with ESPN. Ever close to going back? No. Okay. No, it was, I wanted to do something with Sports Jeopardy, where ESPN would carry Sports Jeopardy. And then I started this full sale university, sports broadcasting in Orlando.

And I said, I'd like to be able to supply a pipeline of younger students to ESPN. So John Skipper was all in on that. We didn't talk about anything. He even said, you know, you can, you wanna do a football show and you wanna come here and do TV? I don't think you do.

I'd stay at NBC if I were you and football. So that was the only thing that was discussed sort of in a peripheral way. Everything else was just to do with the other stuff outside of it. Well, I feel like it's always a hot topic, a good clickbait, like Dan Patrick talking to ESPN. No.

No matter what the conversation is. But you know, Kat, I would never be as good as I, I'd be better than I was when I was there, but I, in people's minds, I'll never be as good as I was when I was there. Right, just a nostalgia aspect. Yeah, that I couldn't, and I didn't wanna try to recreate it.

And then, and if I bring in who I am now, how does that play now? Right. I was just fortunate. What we did when we did it, how we did it, it just aligned. It was perfect. Whereas nowadays, it's harder to do Sports Center

because everything is known. You can find it out. People were waiting for that show. Yeah, remember, I used to, that used to be the only way you could watch highlights from out of the place you were living. Yeah, so we already had you because you tuned in because you may have seen a score,

but you didn't know how it ended, and we had the highlights for you. And leading in after Big East Monday, Big Monday, that helped us, leading in after a football game. So we had a build-in audience, and what we were gonna do with that audience was really what set us apart. But at the time, it just worked.

A five-year window was pretty magical. And now people have phones, so they don't need that anymore. Yeah, they don't. Well, ESPN tried to get into the phone business for a while. I still have that phone. So do I. We might be the only people. Yeah, it's your plan.

It's a nice little connection. Maybe that's what ESPN's plan was, just get everybody to use their phone and then deactivate it all at once, so you have to go back and watch sports all the time. But I think they lost something like $100 million in there. That's just a drop in the bucket. I know, but when you consider what the phone industry is,

it is a drop in the bucket for $100 million. Maybe you could go and get up with Greeny. You and Greeny, waking up at six o'clock in the morning and doing three hours of television like Greenberg. Because the morning market is so oversaturated. In people's viewing patterns, when they wake up in the morning, it feels like you do the same thing every morning

where you may tune into something, click on something, and then that's it. It's hard to get that captive audience there in the morning that isn't already paying attention to something else. Plus, I didn't understand why ESPN didn't just put get up on all of their networks. Yeah. Don't give them the option.

Well, yeah, you're competing. I want you to see the product. And then after that, you take the product. And like we used to do this when I was at ESPN, we duke North Carolina ESPN too. Yeah, I remember that. So you would get ESPN too. And then after that,

you'd put Duke back where it belongs on ESPN, but we wanted you to sample that. Do you still stay in touch with Keith? I have not crossed paths with him. I haven't talked to him, I don't think, in over a year. Is he okay? Yeah. He seems like he's-

His brain's been broken. Yeah, you ever like, hey, Keith, stop tweeting at the president every single day. One of these tweets is gonna get him to resign. You never know. He might be like two or three away and then Trump's like, you know what? I'm fired.

He is, yeah. He's part of the please resign, sir. Sir, resign. Well, they just said sir. Yes. You know, the sir is, saying sir to someone in that case is my favorite thing because you hate the person,

but you're giving them the dignity of a sir. Mr. President. No, we, our relationship was more once we got there to work than we worked, but it wasn't, you know, we didn't socialize, we didn't have the same interest, but you know, I watched from afar as a fan and I hope that he's having fun back at ESPN,

but I had no interest in going back to do the six o'clock sports. And people wanted to know if I was gonna do the six o'clock, I'm going, why would I wanna go up to Bristol, Connecticut for 200 days out of the year? I don't need it. I love what I'm doing.

I don't need it. What are Dan Patrick's interests outside of work? What do you do when that clocks strikes? Good question. Thanks. Working out, obviously, PFT. You're in great shape. You don't play basketball anymore, we know that. I shoot, I don't play, but I'm just cut.

I mean, naturally cut. Like a Donna space. Yes, I'm leaning out right now as we speak on the floor. I watched a lot of bad TV, or TV that you wouldn't expect. What's the worst? What's your biggest guilty pleasure? Well, I do binge, I'm a Netflixer and-

Netflixer, I like that. Prime, Hulu Prime. I'll watch diners, drivings, and dimes. Oh, that's great TV. I'll watch- Donkey Sauce. Yeah, that's high level. A chip and Joanna, with the games.

Are you aware of what they do? They do, like they restore houses and wake up. Oh, yeah, I love that. The house flippers. I love those. Well, I do, like Montana Off the Grid, or Barnyard Builders, and all of those things, where I have to decompress when I go home.

But I'll watch five different things in a span of about 10 minutes. So nobody watches TV with me, because you're not really- Just click around. Yeah, yeah. I think that's why so many Americans suffer from anxiety issues, is because there are too many good,

complicated TV shows on. So you're always thinking about all these plots that are going on. America needs just more of like, okay, here are two assholes that bought a car for $500. Let's see if they can sell it for 700. Like just mindless stuff, just to zone you out. And they call it band talks.

Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, we were actually a good show for America's psyche. Yeah. It's a shame that they got rid of us. Just unplug and watch us be idiots. Yeah, but so I, you know, I'll just sit in the basement, and I'll smoke a cigar, and have tequila, usually tequila.

Okay. White or yellow? I'll do Inyeho. What's Inyeho? It's a little bit darker. Oh, okay. Yeah, the reposado is a little lighter. Nice.

Yeah, so I'll do that, just, and then I'll watch TV. You drink tequila, Neat? No. On the rocks? Yeah, okay. Do you still love sports as much as you did? I love stories.

Okay. So I try to find this story in something. It used to be that you, I had to watch everything and you have to know everything or something about everything. And then it just kind of got to the point where it was a job. And that's one of the reasons why I left ESPN.

I wasn't enjoying the six o'clock sports center in the last three years. I just thought, man, I hit a wall. I wasn't getting any better. And I remember saying to my wife, I'm just not getting better. And she goes, yeah, but you're the only one it knows. I said, but that's the only one that matters.

Right. And I remember when I was getting ready to leave, I just, I didn't want to do it that way where, hey, you're going to lead with this and then this and this. And it's the same stories every day. Right. And I just said, you know, I'm not enjoying that.

I think I needed to leave to kind of get reinvigorated. And it helped me because I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing now if I didn't love it. But I am attracted to, what is the story I can tell? Because you can tell that story and people will listen to that. Sometimes it's harder to find that story, but that's really the challenge every day

is what is interesting? Other than, hey, let me break down the American League nationally roster. Nobody cares. But if you have something that's attached to that, that's the fun part. How much of that is like you basing the day's topics on what's interesting to you

versus what you think will be interesting to your audience as a whole? I think it's a fine line there because there are things that I would talk about, but then I also go, okay, we're in Los Angeles drive time. So I gotta make sure, I don't start a show without thinking of Los Angeles.

Just start the show. How does this play? Is this important? Does anybody care about this? So if I have, Michael Douglas was a guest recently a couple of weeks ago. So that's star power where you're talking about his movies. It's not sports, although we touched on sports a little bit.

So I do factor that in, Kevin Costner came on. So how does that play with Los Angeles and then the rest of America? And then I wanna have those guys on because it's something a little bit different. So the challenge is there to make it interesting for me. Therefore you hope your audience buys into what you're interested in.

You kind of think, okay, what can I say that won't piss Adam Sandler off enough for me not to get invited on any more of his movies? And then you go with that. It's not possible. You have a job for life. Yes, okay. Nice for life.

Did you pitch him in our flex that we gave you last time? Yes, I did. Yeah, Bonner Dogs loved it. This is a party? Yeah, he loved it. Okay, good. Yeah, loved it.

All right, we're in pre-production now. Well, pre-production, pre-production. That's what's becoming. I'm just more potent than that. It's like premature, premature. All right, so you love stories. Tell us what the biggest story of the 2018 NFL season is gonna be.

And you can't use Colin Kaepernick. Oh, I hope he's not the biggest story. Yeah, but he's, it's probably gonna be. Um, it might turn into, is this Tom Brady's last year, I think. Yeah. Can't get enough of that. It's, you know, this is what we do.

We established a storyline before. It's really a storyline. LeBron, where LeBron was gonna play in, you know, this next season started last season. And I think Brady, why is it we want guys to retire? Or we wanna, you know, admit it. We wanna know about the door, yeah. Like admit it, you're ready to retire.

And then they're gone and go, you know, I miss watching Tom Brady. Right. You know, we did this to Elway. We do this with guys all the time. I hope Brady plays five more years. I just, well, I think with Brady, it's interesting because he hasn't had like the Peyton Manning

at the end was hilarious because he was so bad. And like Farve was kind of that way too. So like Brady needs to at least have one of those bad years before he can retire. I don't like the going out on top. I think I'm, I'm, I'm anti that. If they had won the Super Bowl this year, I believe he retired.

Do you? So that's it. Mike Florio, our good friend, mutual friend, has that theory that he is going to just walk away, not no inclination, no, like it's gonna be the end of the season and he just doesn't come back. It doesn't make sense what happened in New England. If you, if you tell me that that organization

all of a sudden said, we're not trading Garoppolo, you can't have a Garoppolo, then all of a sudden you could have a Garoppolo for a second round draft. Right. That doesn't make, it doesn't make sense. It's true. And then, you know, so Brady, if he's pushing them to say,

look, I'm not retiring here, get rid of the kid. And then Bella check, all of a sudden goes, Willie Nillion goes, I'm gonna, you're trying to tell me you couldn't get more out of the Cleveland Browns? Yeah, right. So that's what I just, I, it feels like now Brady's indebted to them a little bit because they did what it felt like he asked them to do.

But I think if they had beaten the Eagles, he would have just said, I'm out. Because I think when Giselle said that to the CBS morning show, she wasn't provoked to talk about his concussions. She was putting the pressure on him, I think, to say, Tommy's had concussions, you know? He's not gonna listen to me,

but maybe he'll listen to somebody else. And that wasn't the first time she brought it up. Like she, that conversation happens all the time in the Brady House. Yeah, her saying that to me. It has to. Yeah. I mean, when he comes home and he's not feeling well,

and then she's saying, you know, why are you, why do you continue to do this? You know, look at these kids, you don't need to do this. I make money, you don't need to do this. Also, the reality show that he started to do, that seemed like a major, this is my last season move. Like this is gonna bridge me over. People are, they're not gonna be able to get enough

of watching me kiss my son. Yeah. And I'll have a career set after that. As a big J like yourself, we're trying to figure out at what point do we start the quarterback controversy in Philadelphia, because I'm planning on maybe doing that week two. Or Baltimore.

Week two or week three. That I'm gonna start tooting the Nick Foles horn. It's pretty big horn. Really? Yeah. He's just a little, Carson Wentz a little too slow. The knee looks like he's, you know, a shot of him on the sidelines.

He's rubbing his knee. Do you really want Nick Foles full time though? I want to talk about the possibility of having Nick Foles. I'd like to see Nick Foles be back out there. Yeah. Yeah, I heard. Yeah, I heard. I'd like to see him back up that run.

Do you know what I mean? I mean, you wanna see, it's a weird situation to have a guy have that good of a few, you know, a month and then go sit on the sideline for the next year. Okay, but if you had your choice right now, you could say Nick Foles is my starter and then you get rid of Carson Wentz? No, no, absolutely not.

I just want to start beating the drum. That's all. I just love a good quarterback controversy. Lamar Jackson, Joe Flacco's gonna be a lot of fun. That's not gonna happen. Joe Flacco's job is absolutely gonna happen. Job for life. That's gonna happen very often.

No, no, no, not job for life. Job for life, Joe. No, no, I think that they're, I think this is it. Yeah, this is it. I think this is it. I feel like it's like a real life statue of Joe Flacco. It would be the exact same mobility as Joe Flacco himself. He'd just be hanging out.

Wouldn't that be great if Flacco had a sense of humor? And all of a sudden they talked about putting a statue up and then it's just Joe, where they paint him with the bronze, they just stand in there like that. The robot that gets, that scares you when you walk by him on the street. Yeah, exactly. What do you hate the most about sports media?

What's the biggest thing that's like bothers you? I'm hearing. You're what? I'm hearing. I'm hearing? I'm hearing. When media members go, I'm hearing. Oh, I'm hearing, talk.

Hearing, got it. What about sources? Yeah, what about talk abouts? Well, I'm okay, talk about bothers me when somebody in the press conference is going, hey, could you talk about the New England Patriots? Thank you. Wait, is there a question there?

I have a problem with that. I do think we're really, really loose now with reporting substance. And that seems like a shot at us. We've had a lot of reports that haven't. I said substance. No, okay, all right. Well, we were the first to have Chip Kelly to Florida.

Yeah, is this a welcome bowler to the Saints? Yeah, we also had that as well. Okay, all right, okay. But it feels like you get the, you know, hey, I'm hearing. Yeah. Because I'm hearing doesn't, that can never come back and haunt you. Because you can say,

what were you talking about LeBron to Philadelphia? No, that's what I was hearing. Right. I didn't know it was true, that's just what I'm hearing. And I just think we're at ESPN. We had to have two sources with everything that we reported, everything, two sources. So much so that I was sitting with Tony Dungey's agent.

I was on vacation and he said, you know, Tony's finally gonna get a head coaching job. I said, oh, really? He says, yeah, he's gonna get the job in Tampa. I called the assignment desk. I said, hey, Tony Dungey's getting the buccaneers job. You got a second source. And I couldn't say who the first source was.

So trust me, this is happening. They call Andrea Kramer to see if Andrea can get a second source. I'm on vacation, I don't even wanna be involved in this. But that's how much of a stickler they were. So Andrea got credited for it because she got a second source that found out that it was true.

But I don't wanna get away from that because I think the lazier we get and then it makes it harder though when you're trying to cover stories and somebody says, hey, you know, hey, what's the story with this? Hey, I'm hearing this. I mean, I got my mailman.

My UPS guy tells me he's hearing things. He's got sources. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, he doesn't. Give him, you can give me my number. We'll talk about it. I'll absolutely take that. You'll take him as a source? Someone says it with conviction.

I'm like, okay, that makes sense. If I get a DM from a stranger and like they sound like they know what they're talking about, they're avatars, like them holding a really big fish instead of a small fish. I'm like, that guy. Hey, just put a question mark at the end. Well, we were picking our World Cup teams

and Seaton, who works with me, went to the liquor store and the guy at the liquor store was so convincing that he said Belgium's gonna win the World Cup and Seaton cited him as his source. And I have Seaton's back on that because it's a generic gambler. If someone gives you a hot tip, you take it every time. I don't care.

You can email, people email me all the time, like, gotta take this team. What's the difference between a cold tip and a hot tip though? Well, usually the person says I got a hot tip. And I'm like, well, that sounds pretty hot to me. Yeah, gotta do it. I remember when I gambled and I, you know, you think you're smarter than everybody

and you got it figured out. And then all of a sudden you start overthinking it and then you got somebody who will tell you something and then I couldn't watch a game. You know, guys have to put money on a game to watch it. Yeah, who does that? That's right, me with baseball. I put money on a game and I couldn't watch.

And you couldn't. I heard you when you were doing your show just 20 minutes ago, you were talking about Pete Rose. You knew Pete Rose's bookies? Yes, I bet through one of Pete's bookies. And what it was, did you ever talk to him about, hey, is Pete actually betting just the Reds? Cause that makes no sense.

That's never made sense. I never asked my bookie. I knew Pete bet. I knew what he was betting on. I knew he wasn't very good at betting, but I didn't know if he bet against the Cincinnati Reds. That was the only thing that I never found out. But I did know all of this.

And then I confronted Pete when I did an interview with him for Sports Center. And I told him, I said, look, I know the whole thing. I know what has gone on here. And I felt bad because I grew up, Pete Rose, and you wear number 14, you slide head first. And he was really an important figure growing up in the Big Red Machine in Cincinnati.

And here I am, I'm thinking, who the hell are you to be saying this to Pete Rose? But then the kid in me was just disappointed in Pete, that he needed to do this. And it's kept him out of the Hall of Fame. I think he gets in posthumously if he gets in at home. Yeah, which sucks. He doesn't get to enjoy it.

He doesn't get to enjoy it. He should fake his own death. Yeah. He should. That's what I would do. A boating accident. He just goes like, oh, he's in the Bermuda, and he never was found, and he just never shows up.

But then what happens, if they put him in posthumously, like, oh, Pete Rose is putting him in the Hall of Fame, and then he comes back. Well, you can't take him out. You can't take him back. Yeah, you can't take him out. Because that's the key. You don't take him back.

Because Pete's going to come back to sign autographs. I mean, Ty Cobbs in the Hall of Fame. What an electric speech that would be if he just showed up in the Hall of Fame. What he usually does, yeah. He'd have to show up. Of course, he'd show up. No, Terrell Owens didn't.

No, but that's when Pete tells everybody that he's not actually dead. So he just goes out to Bermuda. He fills out like a racing sheet, put some fake blood on there, throws it in the water, it washes ashore. They're like, oh, Pete Rose is dead. That's the proof of death.

Then they put him in the Hall of Fame, and he shows up to accept last minute. Yeah, I mean, it's all, it's a spot. Yeah, spotless part where this all falls apart. No, I could get Sandler on that, too. Yeah, that's right. Sandler would do it somehow. Do you think Rob Schneider's in it?

Yeah, it plays Pete Rose. David Spade, yeah. Kevin Farrow, we'll hit the whole game. Chris Rock, Chris Rock's going to be there. Will Ferrell will voice something. He'll do the voice of the boat when it's taking. The Sandler stuff bothers you a little bit, though. No, no, no, no.

Like that I'm become like a box office. It bothers me that you get box office hit, that you get stuff without him saying, no, I don't. Yes, yeah. And I've been at Paul, you know, when people say, you know, what kind of movies have you made? I mean, a couple of billion dollars is, I mean, let's just not, no.

You've been a part of a couple of billion dollars. Yes. Yeah, so it's like the towel boy getting a Super Bowl ring. It doesn't matter. Did I get a Super Bowl ring? I don't know if they give the towel boy a Super Bowl ring. I think I'm a little more than a Super Bowl towel boy because I got in the game.

Okay. I mean, like I'm a kicker. Yeah, okay. You're a special team. You were just good enough to get uninvited from the White House. How's that? I've been invited to the White House.

Oh, really? Would you go right now? Yes, I would. Because it's all about story. Mm. It's all about the content, that's it. And I've known Donald Trump since the early 80s. I cover on the-

Not to brag. Is that bragging? No, no, I just know. I've just known the president for 40 years. I don't know him, but I met him back in the early 80s with USFL. Mm. So I covered him when they got Herschel Walker

and Doug Flutie. Did you ever get any phone calls from John Barron? No. That was his alter ego that he would say was like the publicist. No, no, no. He would call reporters. Not that I'm aware of.

Okay, so you were around for that. Yeah. Do you think that the XFL and the AAFL are going to be successful? I don't know what the XFL is doing. Yeah. I mean, you could pump money into it, but just because you're gonna,

everybody stands for the anthem. Like, that's your, like, is that what you're, yeah. So I'm only tuning in for the anthem, apparently. They should just make the entire game the national anthem. Nine national anthems. I think that they might actually be on to something, though, if the CBA stuff doesn't get worked out, because the NFL could go on strike,

or there might be a lockout. In which case, the XFL has an opportunity to poach some players and get their season started, while the NFL is not even playing. And I think that might actually work. But I don't know what the other league is doing, too. It feels like they have a little bit more of a plan, and you have some names as coaches,

and can you get a couple of people to go in there and play? But if there is no strike, then I don't think anybody cares about these leagues. Do you think, why do people not care? Do you think there's not an appetite for more football, or it's just the players are gonna, it's not gonna be a good quarterback? Well, if you put teams in where you have, like Alabama,

if I took players from Alabama who didn't make it to the NFL, and you said, come out, watch Alabama play against Auburn, and have a team from Auburn, or you have a team, you have to have like Texas. Some ties. Yeah, and if you do that, then I think if you got a college atmosphere with it,

then maybe it could work. Yeah, I think that's what the AAFL is doing, right? They're keeping it local. They're all gonna be Southern teams. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, that might work. Well, the USFL should have worked. Right, but Trump was actually the one that killed it, right?

Yeah, because they all wanted to be absorbed into the NFL after three years. And I think if they had played it right, and continued to get these marquee guys, then maybe you get two or three teams that get absorbed into the NFL. It felt like that because- Right, because they got, what, Steve Young and Jim Kelly?

Like, I mean, those are- Yeah, I mean, Michigan was a good team. Anthony Carter, but the fact he had Herschel in there and Doug Flutey, they had names in there. It was just, they were in such a hurry. They got in their own way. What was Trump like as an owner? I don't remember him being, you know,

one of those guys that, you know, I gotta, you know, we're gonna do this or yelling at people or he was a businessman, but I don't remember him being anything that I went, boy, that guy's a jerk. He was always entertaining in a great quote and he presented everything in a big business way because they did the Doug Flutey interview,

his press conference in front of the waterfall. So at the Trump Tower. So horrible place to do it because Flutey was competing with the waterfall coming down. So you would have thought that he was being interviewed in like a rainstorm if you were just listening to it, but it looked great. And that's what, you know,

Trump was all about back then. It just looked great. He's like, yeah, like the USA Today front page of like visuals. He likes big graphs. He likes charts. Pretty colors, easy to digest. You said earlier some that I thought was kind of interesting. You said if you did go back to ESPN

or go back to that type of job, you'd be better at it right now than you were back then, but people might not recognize that. Why do you think that you'd be better at it now? Well, I'd have a better understanding of who I am. Back then I didn't really know what I was doing. Like we just did it. Now everything is about Twitter and micromanaging

and they didn't promote us back then. In the mid nineties, they sort of fought what we were becoming. Now you go back and then they're gonna welcome you back. And then there's gonna be trumpets and parades and you know, press releases back in the mid nineties. We were just trying to get away with stuff, which made us better.

Because once you get into, like you're accepted into mainstream by management, that's the kiss of death. Cause they don't know what it's like to be on the air. They just knew that they didn't like what we were doing, but we were doing it at 11 o'clock at night. And that is exactly why we fired ESPN before the second episode of Bar Show Van Talk.

We said, we don't wanna be accepted by you. We're out. We're the ones who fired them, not the other way around. And I think that was a smart business move. Thank you. It's a savvy business move. I'd agree. Absolutely.

But I was invited to go back to do one sports center recently. And I said, no, because you'll make a big deal of me going back. I said, if I can go back and nobody knows I'm going back, and I just go out there for an eight o'clock Eastern Sports Center and then do an hour and then go, I would do that. It's weird they wouldn't let you, like that would be fun. You know, like all of a sudden you're just on and no one knew. It's like a Beyonce album coming out.

Yeah. But they just surprised people. It's like a Bill Murray going into, you know, just bartending a random bar. Oh, that's so funny. Yeah. He doesn't like Bill Murray. No, I don't.

Don't get me wrong. I love Bill Murray. I love all his movies. Sure. I'm over the Bill Murray showing up at random places and doing things being funny. If you have to clarify something with Bill, I love him so much.

But that means you don't like him. I love his movies. But you like his movies. I love his movies. OK, but the randomness of Bill Murray. But that would be what it would like. You know what it is? It's not that I don't like Bill Murray.

And this is what kind of the internet has done. It's poisoned people. Once so many people start to like something, then there's a tide that's like, oh, I should hate something about this thing. You know, like too many people like this, I can't like it anymore. I agree.

Yeah. It sucks. It's a stupid place to be in, but it's oversaturation of the Bill Murray's surprise economy. That you guys will get there? No, because I think that I'm exactly hateable enough that nobody will ever truly love us. But do you make it a goal to be hateable?

No. I actually think there's some people who don't like us right now just because we have had success. Yes. So we're already there. And I'm talking about Barstool in general, and part of my take is you could pick either one. There are definitely some people.

We battle with our fans, not battle, but a lot of some of our hardcore fans have been around for decades. They say like, I miss the old stuff. I miss when it was just like four of you guys, and we'd get a video every two months. And I get it because nostalgia is a powerful drug. Like everyone has nostalgia.

I miss parts of that. But I do think we have gotten to a point where some people just don't like us because we have success. Yeah. No. I understand that because after a while, then all of a sudden, they wanted the opposite of what Keith and I did at Sports Center.

Right. We had a shtick. I remember the media kind of turned on you. They find you, build you up, and then all of a sudden, they turn on you. And it's like, yeah, you guys, and you're shtick. And I go, what exactly is our shtick? We write everything.

We ad-lib probably 70% of the show. We break stories. We have fun with catchphrases. And the only reason why we did is we were bored. If you watch some of these games, you've got to entertain yourself. And that's all we did. It's just like, how preposterous can we make this?

And the fact that Oberman, and part of his genius, was he had no fear. And we had a boss. And he would stay in his room, right off the newsroom, where everybody's in there typing their scripts. And he would come out. He would do sort of a drive-by. And he would walk out, and he'd go, hello.

Like, that was the first thing that he said. So we're all there, all the talent's there. The six o'clock, the 11 o'clock, the one o'clock. And then you go, hello. And then we go, hey, how are you, Bob? And then he would do a drive-by. And then you go back into his office. So one night, I think it's Jerry Dubzinski

of the Cleveland Indians had a ball go through his legs. And Oberman goes, hello, on the air. Now, everybody, there's only like 19 people that get it. But it's those kind of moments where you bring people into you that just, that's when all of a sudden we're going, we're going rogue here. Like, we're gonna go off the rails here a little bit here. But that's okay, because it was something

that was completely different. Because Chris Berman did the nicknames, but he was still homogenized. Like, he was still, he loved the game, and he did the right thing. He's such a man, he loved milk. He drank a lot of dairy products. But he did it the right way.

Keith and I, it just felt like we couldn't be Chris, didn't want to be Chris. We wanted to do it differently. Can we do this and have some fun at the expense of management? And so that, we were lucky to be able to do that because they fought us instead of embracing us. It wouldn't be the same.

Was there ever any pushback from Keith, or sorry, from Chris, or any of the guys that had been around for a while that are like, okay, these guys are taking a few shots, or did they kind of welcome your new kind of way of presenting things? Chris, I remember Berman said, I hear you guys are getting popular.

Like, sorry. Right, right, right, yeah. We didn't know how to respond. And like, you go, yeah, I guess. But he said, I don't watch, but I'm hearing you guys are getting popular. And I went, all right, I think there's a compliment in there.

Yeah, yeah, there's a, yeah. Stuart Scott and I didn't see eye to eye because Stuart, one of the most competitive people I've ever met in my life. And he would compete with you when you did Sports Center. But I remember him saying in an interview, you know, something about, you know, you don't have to fall into those catchphrases.

It's a new, like, it's a new wave. Like, there was something that was going on on the other side of the building there where Stuart's office was. And I remember saying something to him. I said, what's the deal? We're all in it together. He goes, hey, it's something about, you know,

my time or something. And he wanted my job. So Keith was gone and Stuart wanted the 11 o'clock Sports Center. And we competed, even playing basketball. We competed against each other. Never got along, but my respect for him, when he was dying, with what he did at the Espeys

and that speech, I mean, that was Stuart. I mean, he had a flair for the dramatics, but he was not going to sit there and, you know, watch me or Keith or anybody else pass him by. He was that competitive. He thought he was the most popular guy there. So you mentioned, like, people kind of turning on you. I feel like that hasn't happened with your show now.

And it's kind of universally loved. Well, I think we're an underdog. Right. You know, that's part of it is, when you're at ESPN, we were underdogs, then ESPN became this, you know, whatever, you know, the mothership. And then it felt like people had to go after it a little bit. Now what I'm doing is, you know,

I just want to do it every day. And daily basis have fun. If we, you know, stir up news, make headlines great, but it's not, I don't think we're at the epicenter where somebody goes out of their way to say, let me rip you, whatever you're saying. Right. So, you know, there's something to be said

if they are finding you and they do rip you, then, you know, maybe it's the popularity, you know, because everybody wants clicks. And if somebody rips what we say on a show, or they can rip Skip Bayless, then they're going to choose Skip Bayless. Right. That's true.

You're kind of insulated there. What about when you take your vacations? You like vacations almost as much as Hank. You take a couple of them. When you go out of town and you have somebody filling in for you, who is the one person that you're like a little bit worried like, are they going to kick the hornest nest?

Are they going to stir shit up a little bit too much? Gottlieb. Yeah. Yeah. Gottlieb does every now and then, yeah. But he's got that gene in him that he has to push. He has to, because that's why he became, you know, starting point guard in college basketball.

Right. Like he has to, he has that annoying gene in him. Like I'm going to stir it up, but that's good. I mean, I want somebody who approaches the job that way, but there are times when I, you know, I feel like I'm going to get a call where somebody goes, did you hear what Gottlieb had to say? Right.

I'm like, no, no, I didn't. Yeah. But it's always tough when you have fill-ins because, you know, people, are they going to listen just because it's the show, even though it's not really the show? Right. And that's difficult, because I always say,

do your show, don't try to do my show when you fill in for me. Mm-hmm. Right. Yeah. What's the best interview you've ever, or what's your favorite, maybe most proud interview you've ever done?

Besides this one. Besides, yeah. Interviewing somebody. Yeah, but I'm not really interviewing you guys. Yeah. Besides Matt Harvey. Matt Harvey was a tough one. Here to honor Qualcomm.

That was a tough one. Somebody, I felt bad. I felt bad that he didn't understand how this worked. There's a quid pro quo. You get to tell me about quid pro qualm. It actually ended up being great for both you guys and Qualcomm, because it got more publicity than... Whenever Harvey does anything,

somebody will always send a tweet. Right. Hey, I'm only here to talk about Qualcomm. Honor Qualcomm. Oh, that's the best quote. Honor. Honor Qualcomm. It's a dying parent, like I'm here to honor Qualcomm.

But when he got done, and then all of a sudden, we heard from the PR people, and they were like, we're so sorry, we're gonna get him back on, and I said, I just want to help him. I'll give him a tutorial of how this works, just so he knows. And then he came on, because he didn't want to tell me about his shoulder,

whatever, surgery or something. And I thought, well, that's up there. That's gonna be up there. Tonya Harding was up there, too. We had her on. And I had not interviewed her, but I wanted to ask her about Nancy Kerrigan and everything that happened there.

And she told me about being born again. Yeah. Good for her. Yeah. I said, well, what's your, what would your religion think of your role with Nancy Kerrigan was? And she said, are we really gonna get into this?

And I said, yeah. Yeah, Tonya Harding. Yeah, that's the point. I'm not interviewing you if you hadn't had been a part of that. If you didn't help, you're part of the conspiracy to, you know, take a pipe to Nancy Kerrigan.

Listen, Dan, sex tape questions only. Yeah, I'm not here to talk about my secret past. More professional wrestling career. But she hands the phone to her bodyguard. I remember that. Hold on a second, Paul wants to talk to you. And he goes, hey, what are we doing here? I said, I'm doing a radio interview.

This is live. And he goes, I didn't think we were going down this road. I'm going, I have an interviewer. I want to ask her my questions. And so then we ended the interview after that. So that's why when this movie came out with I, Tonya, I went, oh my God, people are going to buy into this that she's a sympathetic figure.

Oh, they did. Full. Oh my God. Dancing with the stars. It was unreal. It was unreal. It was, it was, it was bad. It was like A-Rod getting on Shark Tank and- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I work for A-Rod.

We're pro A-Rod. He's my pro A-Rod podcast now. Yeah. Oh, you do. Don't tolerate any A-Rod. You're just saying how great he is on Shark Tank, how sharp he is as a businessman. Yes.

Businessman, J-Lo. He's shown a- J-Lo looks great. The right amount of contrition. Yeah. For what? He doesn't even need to be contrite for anything. No, it's like the Rick Petino.

You just say sorry for anything that might have happened. Whether you did it or not. If you were offended. Right. Yes. If you were offended. Rick Petino did. He apologized for whatever happened, even though he didn't do it.

For caring too much. It's a good way to do it. It's basically by an insurance policy for yourself. Like, I apologize for everything. So, so who is the best person that you've interviewed? The best person. I think it's just anybody who's honest. Like, when you feel like you're getting an honest answer,

then, because a lot of this is, I always think, can I keep you in your car? Mm-hmm. Yeah. If it's an interview that I can keep you in your car, then it's a great interview. But I, you know, I've been doing it so long and had so many that I probably,

I couldn't single out one. Yeah. But if you get that one, I remember Dale Jr. talking about growing up, his parents were split, and he was at his house, and his house was burning down. So, he's watching his house burn down.

And always thinking about his toys in there. He's a really young boy. And so, he's telling this story. Like, so matter of fact, like I, you know, I was standing outside and my house is burning down and I'm thinking, I got all my toys in there and now I gotta leave and I gotta go live with my dad.

And then, so that moment, when you humanize somebody, that's when you really get a reaction out of people. Cause I can ask Aaron Rodgers, tell me about the pass against the cowboys. You know, that's, you know, but if you get something that it's more of, I can relate to that,

or I can, I can picture it. We can't throw a 40 yard bullet like Aaron Rodgers, but to think of a little boy outside his house, watching it burn down, thinking of his toys, and now he's gotta leave to go move in with his father after, you know, his parents divorce. Those are the things where you feel like you're getting something a little bit different.

Yeah. All right, I'll do the Seeky question. We'll wrap this up soon. Put in promo code take, you get $10 off your Seeky purchase if you want to go to a game. The toughest question I have, MJ or LeBron. But see, I said that I wouldn't do this anymore. Oh yeah, you're doing this.

You're doing this. But, okay. You're asking the jackpot. All right, five MJs, five LeBrons. Who you got? Both in their prime. I'll take five LeBrons. Okay.

Even though MJ is a little bit more of a competitor. Okay. Yeah. LeBron got cramps. Two of the five LeBrons just got cramps. Too hot out. MJ's a better defender. Only one of them's got the flu.

But that could be a plus because he played really well with the flu. Yeah. So you don't like these type of debates? Well, it's not over. If LeBron wins a title with the Lakers. He would what, then be like four and nine all the time in the finals?

It depends. Because you'll probably lose a few times. So is Brady better than Joe Montana? Yes. Look at all those losses, man. Yes. He is. Yeah, Joe didn't lose.

He's absolutely better. Let's use the same logic with Montana. I'd say Brady's better, yeah. More accomplished. So LeBron's gonna be as accomplished. Yeah. The fact he went to eight straight NBA finals. In the East.

In the East, yeah. Big asterisks. Jeff Rose got hurt. Hey. Could have changed everything. Doesn't matter. Okay. And he still went to eight straight.

I'm just happy that we got you into this conversation. Like you actually had to debate this one. No, I didn't know I was really debating. No, you were. You weren't debating. God damn it! You just did eight straight. God damn it!

You could just get anyone in there. It's that and that would be Yankee Finn who's earned their pinstripes. And you're like, that's not real. And then you're like, all right, A-Rod. And they're like, whoa, that's a tough one. And they get going. I like when they go, you know, Luis Soho,

he's earned his stripes. Ramiro Mendoza earned his stripes. Not A-Rod. Yeah. He's not one of us. Yeah, Breck Gardner stripes. Yeah, he's not one of us. But I want to see what happens with LeBron.

I'm a LeBron apologist. You're non-sexual. Close. But I got to see all Jordan's championships. And he's still the best player I ever saw. But if, you know, if you're going to break down their talents, you're going to break down their teammates, you're going to break down who they beat

when they went to the finals or who beat them. You know, let me wait till LeBron's done. If I put together four more years, if LeBron has four more years here where there's some quality basketball there, and he's just coming off the best year of his career. Eh, he didn't play defense. He just didn't play defense.

I don't know if you can call that the best. He literally didn't play defense. Statistically. But he literally didn't play defense. He literally, yeah. He did not play defense. There was many times where he literally did not play defense. When I tell the story of LeBron James,

the five greatest plays in his career. Yeah. One is a defensive play. Okay. One out of five. How many Michael Jordan defensive plays does he have in his top five? So now we're going with the highlights.

His entire career of being the best defender in the game. You just said he didn't play any defense. He did not play defense in 2017-18. He didn't. Okay. So I don't know if you could say it's his best year of his career. Offensively.

Yes, it was his best year of his career, but I think he's realized that people are going to love LeBron no matter if he plays defense or not. When's the last time you said, man, you know what I love about magic? That dude played defense. Well, isn't it interesting to say that? They didn't play any defense.

LeBron James just turned 33 years old and he had the best offensive year of his career. What's it say about him? It's just interesting. I don't know. He takes care of his body. He's not gambling. You don't play basketball anymore, right?

Your body's kind of broke down. Yeah, he does take care of his body. Naturally. Some way shape or form. He really takes care of it. Wow. Really takes care of the body. Really?

Yeah. Cleveland Clinics, guys. Cleveland Clinic. We'll see how he does in LA now that Cleveland Clinic isn't there anymore. Yeah, very interesting. The prescriptions are on. Because Jordan was always a thoroughbred.

Yes, that's true. Never put anything bad in his body. Because a guy got cut from his high school team. Yeah. Maybe if LeBron had gone to college for a year. I don't like your tone. I don't like your tone. OK, so you're not LeBron fans.

Oh, no, I am. I'm actually the second best player of all time. I'm on LeBron stand, so I'm on your side. He's the second best player of all time. I also think that you can be able to love LeBron while also laughing at how ridiculous and absurd he is, and also pointing out flaws in this game. Absolutely.

And the MJ vs. LeBron debate, we actually created a website, MJ vs. LeBron.net. You should check it out where you can settle the debate. No, no. You can simulate the game for yourself. But it's all so stupid, because there's going to be another guy in 10 years. And everyone who watches that guy is going to say,

well, LeBron wasn't that good. Because at this point, the only part of the debate that really bothers me is at this point, we have a ton of people who didn't watch MJ, who then spend their entire time debating it by tearing MJ down instead of building LeBron up. Well, that's the problem I have with the argument, is that I've got to criticize.

And I can criticize more with LeBron, because I know more. Everything is played out, social media, everything. Whereas Mike, Mike couldn't survive in today's social media. He wouldn't have done well with social media. He would have punched Jack in the nose. He would have had quite a few burn-out accounts. He would have made KDX. He would have looked like the Russian internet research

agency compared to KDX. He would have had a whole office building full of them. No, but there'll be a next great. But will we look for the next LeBron after this? Are we still going to be looking for the next LeBron? I'm just ready for the next Kobe, the guy who gets caught in between the next LeBron and this LeBron. How would we be able to do that?

Because Kobe got sandwiched right there. And if he had come maybe a little later, or like he got right in that MJ LeBron middle, and everyone's like, ah, Kobe, come on. But how would we view Kobe if we didn't have Michael? That's a good question. He would have been an original, because he copied literally everything.

I set up a website. It's a Kobe versus MJ. No, we actually will. You don't realize this is the MJ versus LeBron. When you click Submit on the matchups, one out of every 10 times, it lands on Kobe. Yeah, so we threw him in there. So they can appreciate that.

He's a little bit, and he did get lost, because we'd already seen Mike do it. Well, he also split his stats up, because he changed numbers. So there's a Kobe 8, and then there's a Kobe 24. And the NBA treated Powgisal to the Lakers for him. Did you like Kobe 8 or Kobe 24? We've had that debate.

8 is less problematic than 24. Yes, I like Kobe 8. We're on Kobe 8 side. I guess we'll wrap it up here. One last question. I know that you really like these types of questions. We talked about them earlier. When are you retiring?

When Brady does. It's a package deal. OK. Yeah, package deal. How many, let's say, 10 years from now, you can still be working? Not full time. OK.

Because it's interesting to see. Five years, maybe. Like, I mean, we're obviously all kind of in the same industry. You're obviously a little different. But I don't know. I like to tell myself, when I'm like 45, I'll be able to just walk away. But I think I enjoy doing.

And I think you're the same way, where it's like you just enjoy being able to talk about sports. But I like having something to do every day. Right. And I remember Bob Costa saying, I don't know how you do it every day. And I said, I don't know how you don't do it every day. Because it's just something where you've got a routine

and you get a chance to do it. And it's fun. And it's addictive, too. Right. There's a little bit of that. We're doing something different or it's live. People are listening to you. Yeah, you get to get your opinion out there.

Yeah, absolutely. You won't stop at 45. Well, I'll be dead. But yeah. It will be dead. So my ghost will keep going. Posthumously. I'm finally dying very soon.

Greatest ghost podcaster of all time. Me. Really? Yeah, when I die and then start a podcast from the grave. Beyond the grave. You should record stuff now. Release it after we're back. Oh, we do it every time we go on vacation or go away

somewhere we say, hope we didn't die. And then we play it. Because that's, I mean, that's honestly my dream is that we interview someone and then they die. So we're going to run this on Monday, next Monday. Wait, next Monday? Yeah, if you die in the next six days, cha-ching, cha-ching. Don't need to just don't buckle up.

Yeah, that's all I'm asking. I'm not going to do any more interviews. Just so you guys don't have any exclusive. We're going to hold this, yes. Because I ended your careers with ESPN and you're going to work one-on-one. You can do it. We're going to kill you.

If you die in the next six days, we have this interview. And I won't talk to anybody until this airs. Yeah, don't look when you cross the street. That kind of stuff. Maybe just that piece of steak. Yeah, you don't need to cut it in half. It's fine. Yeah, just put the whole thing down your throat.

Maybe you have an extra like five or six glasses tequila in your basement. Yeah. Whoops. Why don't we start tonight? Yeah, here we go. What are you guys doing? We're going to hang out.

We're going to watch the home of Derby from a nice cool bar and not outside. Oh, good. And now are you doing a, is it a bar stool, big fan fest type thing? We're having a serious set up that's like in the bullpen. Yeah. Not the actual bullpen, but like a bar.

The bullpen, a bar called the bullpen. It's a very serious show. Oh, OK. So maybe we're going to stop by. Yeah. Well, no, we're not. Don't stop by there because it's hot there. It's going to be like 95 degrees.

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First up, we have a hurt or injured for met starting pitcher, Noah Cindergaard. I'll read this here at the tweet that has his injury or his hurt, you decide. Noah Cindergaard is going on the DL with hand, foot, and mouth disease. Possible he picked it up working at a kid's camp over the all-star break,

perhaps why he had diminished velocity and was tired on Friday. Assistant GM John Rico said they expect it, perhaps to be just one start. So, hand, foot, and mouth disease. The disease you get as a kid or maybe in college for whatever you're doing in college. I am just impressed with the Met's ingenuity

and their innovation finding different weird ways to get their starting pitchers injured at this point. I wouldn't be shocked if DeGrom got the bubonic plague. Cholera might be coming back. What else were we missing? Like hay fever? Yeah, whatever's out there. They're all gonna get bit by ticks.

They all have Lyme disease. Like the Met's, and they also traded familio over the weekend for basically $3 million. They've saved $3 million. The Met's, so I'm gonna say Cindergaard is hurt, not injured, but the Met's as a whole are injured, not hurt. Okay. Yeah, I can deal with that.

What would happen if we did like an FMK for hand, foot, and mouth? I think you'd have to fuck the mouth. No, I would marry the mouth. The mouth is versatile. I'd probably fuck the mouth. I'd marry the hand. No, I'd fuck the hand.

I think we can all agree you kill the foot, right? You kill the foot. But what about the hand can feed you too? You're soaking your mouth. But yeah, if you don't have a mouth, then what you're hearing gonna feed? Well, no, are you saying the person you're, I was saying the person you get to have one,

you have to get to have the other person to have one for the rest of your life. Oh yeah, that makes more sense. You get to have one. No, yours makes more sense. Cause you would be fucking your own mouth. I know, I'm gonna fuck, I'm gonna marry. Marilyn Manson.

Yeah, Marilyn Manson did that, people forget. I'm gonna marry the mouth, I'm gonna fuck the hand, and which I have experience with that and it's not bad. Yeah, get rid of the foot. Okay, that, by the way, the Mets, like I actually started to feel bad for the Mets and I can't believe they went to the World Series like three years ago or whatever it was

because everything that they've, everything has just fallen apart and the Will Ponds are like the cheapest people in the world. So Mets fans, we need to start doing that. Like, you know how they have like Jerk of the Week, like sympathy of the week for Mets fans. I feel bad for you guys. Yeah, condescending sympathy of the week though.

Yeah, right. I'm looking down at you, but I also feel bad for you. Yeah, like bless your hearts, Mets fans. Yeah, it's okay. Yeah, you poor things. Can we predict what the next injury that's gonna happen to like a Mets starter is gonna be? I wanna see it get weirder, like Legionnaires disease.

Did they have that? Did somebody get that? Ooh, what about, what's the disease that all the English people have because they fuck each other, Hemophilia. Jacob DeGrom's gonna get Hemophilia and just start bleeding from every part of his body. Every orifice, I like that.

Yeah, yeah, because all the English royal families just fuck each other like their cousins and everything. Blueblocks, yeah. And then their blood, yeah, their blood, their skin just becomes like translucent and it's like a spoiled fruit and you just kind of can put your finger right through them. Legionnaires disease is real.

It's real. I thought I heard somebody in baseball like get that a couple of years ago, I forget. We'll fact check that. Yeah, okay, yeah, no we won't, but yeah, I agree with you. All right, we gotta take a serious turn here. Thoughts and prayers, real thoughts and prayers

for Tony Spirano who tragically passed away. He was the Vikings offensive line coach as football guys. Tony Spirano was one of our favorites. You remember him because he always wearing sunglasses. He always a badass and he revolutionized the NFL with Ronnie Brown and the Wildcat. He made Ronnie Brown an elite quarterback for a while.

Yeah. Like sometimes he's gonna run the ball, sometimes he's gonna pass the ball. He's usually run, but sometimes he would pass it too. No, yeah, but he could, yeah, he'll run it though. That year where they went like nine and seven I think, they went from winning one game to winning nine games because Spirano came in and said,

fuck it, we're gonna run the ball down your throat. And every now and again, Ronnie Brown's gonna throw a pass because I don't have a quarterback. And it was actually a really entertaining offensive system that he put in. He did seem like a football guy. Anyone that wears sunglasses and doors is gonna have a big piece of my heart.

And he was a guy that even after that didn't work out for him. He stuck around the league and got all sorts of jobs because he was obviously like a very, very good offensive line coach. And you saw a lot of people, a lot of players, like being very, very broken up about this. One, because I guess it happened out of nowhere. And two, because he made a lot of connections around the league.

So yeah, real genuine thoughts and prayers to the Spirano's and really everyone that interacted with him. Yeah, the football world lost a good one today. So we have next up a bad visual. Oh no, yeah, it's a bad visual for Brewers fans. So Josh Hader, who we talked about last week, he had the very problematic tweets. To his credit, he did apologize and owned up to it.

Like there wasn't any, I was hacked or, you know, there's a million different things that someone could say in that situation that wouldn't be just standing in front of the media and being like, I screwed up. So, and it seems like his teammates had his back. What we didn't expect was a standing ovation on his first appearance back in Milwaukee.

That's a weird move. Like there's, the problem is, I think people get lost in like a little bit of the nuance. They're like, well, they're supporting someone who needs a second chance. Yes, I'm a big second chance guy. And if you remember when we were talking about it last week, I was like, you shouldn't just like ban someone for, you know,

having bad tweets seven years ago, but probably also shouldn't give him a standing ovation. Yeah, the standing ovation was such a weird move. I have no idea what like he battled back from saying the N word on Twitter. Like that's the true redemption story that we're applauding here. Like I don't get it.

Like it made no sense. I get that you want to support your guy, but it seemed like they're like Brewer's fans were like circling the wagons around their guy because the media was coming down on them or whatever. That's a really weird hill to die on. Very strange. The only thing I will say in defense of Brewer's fans is

it could have just been like the front row. Cause you know what happens when you're stand, when you're at a baseball game and the front row stands up, then the second row has to stand up and then it's just a domino effect. So we need to find it. We needed to go look at the footage,

the all 22 and be like, was it just the first row stood up? Maybe it was Josh Hader's family. And then it just became a domino effect all the way through. But I probably going to guess they just gave him a standing. I'm going to guess they just were like, Hey, this is our guy and he's been in turmoil. So we're going to, I guess give him a bunch of support.

It was a tough week. Yeah, it was really, really strange. Or maybe there was just a plotting the fact that he's, he's gone now four days without being involved in a racist tweet scandal. So like he is, he's the Cal Ripken junior of Josh Hader's not saying anything racist on Twitter. New streak, baby.

Start a new streak, started zero. Streets got to start somewhere. I have a stay woke for you. Michael Beasley signed with the Lakers. Super cool bees. Okay. So my stay woke is, I think LeBron is now just putting together

the all blame team. He has put together the greatest blame team of all time. Javel McGee, Lance Stevenson, Rondo and Michael Beasley. LeBron James has no intentions of winning next year. He just has intentions of making sure no one blames him. And he has now put together the all, like literally a super team of people that can be made fun of on Twitter

so that we forget about LeBron James. He is the scapegoat. That's the new nickname for LeBron. It is, it is. That's what he is. I mean, can you put that one in a pile? So print the fucking t-shirts, scapegoat. If you, hey, back me up there,

like if you had to put together a team of guys that everyone can look at and be like, oh, that's a bad teammate or that guy's, JR Smith is the only one missing from this team. And Swaggy P. And Swaggy P. It's literally the greatest team ever assembled. If your intention is to wait till 2019 to sign Kauai Leonard,

but have no one blame you for 2018 suck. And you have Lanzo and LaVar. Yeah. I'm like, I'm racking my brain right now to find anybody else in the league. Maybe, maybe Jeremy Lee. Dwight Howard would also be out there. Dwight Howard ripped, we had great chemistry

and training camp, then we brought Dwight Howard and he ripped us apart, which they still could. I feel like they could still get Dwight Howard and be like, yeah, Dwight Howard, like maybe they win the first few games and they bring in Dwight Howard, just to take it over the top, to make sure that no one blames LeBron for 2018 sucking.

God damn, that's, it is possibly the funniest team in the history of basketball. Ever, ever. Real question. They will be a fight, they will be a fight by October. I don't think. Either in training camp or one of the first games. Oh, yeah.

None of those guys really throw hands though, like Stevenson will probably throw hands. Beasley. Yeah, Beasley. No, Rondo. I think Beasley's too stoned all the time. Dude, listen, listen. It's a Mexican standoff.

It's going to be Rondo, Lance Stevenson and LaVar Ball, just like all, just like pointing fists at each other's faces. Be like, I'll do it. I'll do it. It's, it's absolutely going to happen. Beasley will probably just be high in the corner, but you know, she's been like, what's going on?

And then he'll be, He knows that he's in the NBA anymore. Yeah. He'll walk in and just get like a stray, like someone like Rondo will throw a punch at LaVar, miss him because LaVar is a superior athlete and has great and eye coordination and punch Beasley in the face.

And then Beasley will be out for the year. I don't hope this happens, but I mean, it would be a great story if LaVar Ball killed Rajan Rondo. I really do. I want to preface that. We don't want it to happen. I want to reinforce that I don't want it to happen.

Don't, do not want it. As journalists that root for the story, we're kind of obligated to root for that to happen. I actually, I'm going to say maybe the reverse. It would be funny if, and funnier if Rondo killed LaVar Ball. Yeah, I agreed. Yeah.

Yeah, that actually, and I actually will root for that to happen. That would be really funny. But I don't think that LaVar Ball can be killed. True. The only person who can kill LaVar Ball is LaVar Ball. From 1992 when he was the best athlete in the world. So he's good.

Unless someone finds a time traveling machine, LaVar Ball. Right. LeBron James congratulates past LeBron on future LeBron's accomplishments. LaVar Ball travels back in time to talk shit to his younger self who will eventually kill him. Yes.

All right, last up we have a spin zone from UPFT. Yeah, so I got some hot tips in the DMs last week after we reported on the Jimmy Garoppolo story and the rampant, I don't want to say slut shaming because it shouldn't even be counted as slut shaming. The man went on a date with a respectable young lady and people on the internet attacked him for it. And I got a hot tip coming in that said that actually

the porn star won an auction, a charity auction to spend an evening with Jimmy Garoppolo. So he was saving kids' lives by taking the porn star on a date. I don't know if this is true or not. In fact, it sounds exactly like something that you would make up to tell your girlfriend if you got caught going on a date with porn star.

I'm not saying that's what happened. I'm saying that what actually happened was the porn star paid a couple grand probably for a nice evening out on the town with a nice young quarterback. I buy this 100% and if it's not true, again, reiterate, love who you want to love. The heart wants what the heart wants. But yeah, Jimmy was just giving back to charity.

So damn, it would be a real shame if any of us got caught up in one of these charity events that we were to take out a porn star. Yeah, I love kids. Yeah, I would hate to see that happen to us. Yeah, nobody. Yeah, if you're a porn star, I know there are a few of you that listen to the show.

If you want to throw us a couple hundred bucks, Liam can go on a date, we'll set up a date with Bubba. Yeah, we'll set up a date. This actually is up there with the guy, the girl we saw in Washington, DC, who said that her fiance told him that he was out tonight because the MLB All-Star Game was the most important game of the year.

That's right up there. Like it's, you got it, can't miss the MLB All-Star Game. All right, that is our show. We will see everyone Wednesday. We have Phil Hughes in studio and get excited. Friday is the Takies. Love you guys.

Shining away, I'll be coming for your double cake too. For me, take on me, take me on, take on me. I'll be on, yeah, take on me. It's Pardon My Take, presented by Bar Stools Boys.