Pardon My Take - David Wells, Chill Week From Tahoe + Mt Rushmore Of Worse Situations To Dump

Episode Date: July 10, 2024

We’re live from Tahoe for Chill Week and we’re chilling with the boys. Mike Gundy made all the headlines Tuesday and we talk a little soccer (00:00:00-00:13:31). We then read a headline of a resta...urant in trouble for boofing margaritas (00:13:31-00:18:38). Hot Seat/Cool Throne including Keegan Bradley being named Ryder Cup Captain and Hank not understanding the importance of a backup bagel (00:18:38-00:37:41). Mt Rushmore of worst situations to have to take a dump (00:37:41-00:59:37). 21 year MLB pitcher David Wells joins the show to talk about his career, his mom being in Hells Angels, the time he almost kicked George Steinbrenner’s ass, his perfect game hungover and more (00:59:37-01:53:57). We finish with listener submitted Pardon Your Takes (01:53:57-02:05:01).You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit

Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, we're in Lake Tahoe for Chill Week. And we have an awesome interview with David Wells coming. We interviewed him this morning. It was great. We're going to talk about Chill week. We've got hot seat, cool throne. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of worst places to have to shit or situations to shit. Where situations you find yourself in that you have to take a poop. Like Gwyneth Paltrow's house. If yeah, diarrhea.
Starting point is 00:00:39 Diarrhea is different. That is true. And then we're going to do part in your take. Great show. It is chill week. We're also going to explain chill weeks. I did a bad job of that didn't never we never really told anyone what we were actually doing I was actually remarkably chill of you. That was chill. It is unchill of a listener who complained Well, it wasn't a complaint. It was shout out FSU Brando He was like hey wood actually is chill week and I was like good point never fucking said it It's a fair point. But also if if you're chill, then you know. Yeah, that's true. Guess what we're brought to you by our friends at DraftKings know the beautiful thing about being a sports fan. There's only like
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Starting point is 00:01:49 when you bet just $5 only on DraftKings. Okay, let's go. and then a lot of work to be done no place to hang out or wash in and then a can of name all on the sun oh no we're gonna rock it down to Electric Avenue and then we'll take it higher oh we're gonna rock it down to Electric Avenue
Starting point is 00:03:02 it's part of my take presented by VraftKings. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now. Use code TAKE. That's code TAKE for new customers to get $150 in bonus bets instantly when you bet just $5 only on DraftKings. Today is Wednesday, July 10th. And welcome to Chill Week. I notice... What's up with your guys' hats? Is that not chill? I want to turn it around if you want to be chill. Colin Coward would hate this week. I don't know. I don't know. Come on. We can't have three back. Come on. Go do it. Yeah. What if I just...'s chill? Yeah, okay hang cracking open of course like alright, so we're in Tahoe We did a terrible job of explaining chill week
Starting point is 00:03:49 There's probably some AWLs are like does this mean grit weeks gone? No grit week is still coming first week of August This is chill week an idea that we've been tossing around For a few years in that we see this golf tournament that happens in Tahoe every single year. It's seems awesome American Century Championship and we're like we should go out there and chill and interview some people and finally this year we got our ducks in a row and we're like hey let's go do it. So we're out here. Shout out the people from American Century Championship. They were accommodating. They have been accommodating. They're letting us do interviews at the clubhouse
Starting point is 00:04:32 this week. And we're in Tahoe and videos and videos. We're in Tahoe. We're chilling. We play. We went wakeboarding video will come out. We went frisbee golfing video will come out really good at both. Yeah. And we're just we're just having a chill week It is very chill. I like it out here. It's a very chill town Lake Tahoe is great Amazing hey, it's a movie. I'm in love with it. It's one of the premier destination spots for vacations as told by Hank Lockwood It's a good place to get a bunch of interviews to yes There's a bunch of really big-name players out here
Starting point is 00:05:03 And the good thing is I think I think people are more ready to talk to you when they get off the golf course. Yeah. They're like ready to go. I mean, David Wells was incredible today. He has stories for days, but yeah, it's a, I mean, yeah, we're working a lot during show week, but we love our job. Like I had, I had a moment coming back from frisbee golf today. I was like, today rocked. We just hung out with the boys all day. This is our went on a boat, did an interview, played some frisbee golf. Vibes were high. This is our phase me. Yeah, that's right. We're getting ready for camp. We're just chilling out. Yeah. Hank did say that like two hours into today.
Starting point is 00:05:37 He was like, Yeah, I think I like Lake Tahoe. It's like, Oh, no shit, dude. Yeah, it's really it's where everyone goes in vacations. It's a beautiful, beautiful place. It's like, Oh no shit, dude. Yeah. It's where everyone goes in vacations. It's a beautiful, beautiful place. It's really good. Is there, is there like a bigger discrepancy in terms of swank level for an airport that you have to fly into? Like a city that you have to fly into to get to the destination that you end up at, because you have to fly into Reno to get here. Yeah. And I wouldn't say that Reno like Reno is a fun town, but it's also like if you're laying low, if you're ducking some charges Reno is a pretty good spot to go 9-1-1
Starting point is 00:06:08 Yes But they have to fly in there to get to Lake Tahoe So you get like a taste of grit when you land and then the destination is really chill Yeah, probably the biggest discrepancy in terms of cities with that and we're just chilling I don't I mean like this is we have a couple more days here, but if it's anything like today Sign me up for more. I I think that actually the boys behind the camera have a much ch days here, but if it's anything like today, sign me up for more. I think that actually the boys behind the camera have a much chiller week than we do because they're in Margaritaville.
Starting point is 00:06:31 Oh yeah, that's true. That's the chillest place. I'm a little upset I'm not in Margaritaville this week. They are. They are also just shoot video. We were waiting for them to play first. And they also were going to finish this podcast and they're going to work all night. And then we have an interview at 8 a.m. But yeah, they play first. Yeah, they and they also we're gonna finish this podcast and they're gonna work all night And then we have an interview at 8 a.m
Starting point is 00:06:47 But yeah, they're chilling but margaritaville if I could trade places with them I would you know what if I'd learn if I knew how to edit I would edit for you guys today That's how chill I am. That is hey So we should talk about what whatever's going on in the sports world. You know, it's not chill Mike Cunty Mike Cunty had Mike Cunty. He double dipped into it today. Yeah. So So the story is Ollie Gordon, the incredible running back for Oklahoma State got a DUI. What is like a month ago or so? Mike Cunty was big or sorry, I was
Starting point is 00:07:20 gonna say, Oh, it's big 12. Still, I got confused. Big 12 media day. Mike Gundy said, I looked it up on my phone talking about Olly Gordon's DUI. I looked it up on my phone. What would be the legal limit? Two or three beers or four? I'm not justifying what Olly did. I'm telling you what decision I made. Well, I thought I've probably done that a thousand times in my life. He said that he has been over the legal limit of driving that a thousand times in my life. Yeah. He said that he has been over the legal limit of driving over a thousand times in his life. You know how old he is?
Starting point is 00:07:50 This made me feel old because when I think, oh yeah, I still remember the, I'm a man, I'm 40. Mike Gundy's 56 now. Yeah. So I did the math, so that's 35 years, right? That means that- Oh, wait, 35 years? Since you're 21.
Starting point is 00:08:03 Okay, well. 38 years. He's claimed to 35 years since you're 21. Okay. Well, 38. He's claimed to have over 1000 DUI's probably wasn't following the law. This would be like 32 times a year is what we're looking at. Mike Gundy driving drunk 32 times a year. Wouldn't I mean, it wouldn't shock me. I was trying to figure out what exactly his point was. And it like he could have just said, Hey, and you know, do eyes are not a laughing matter It's like hey, he made a mistake
Starting point is 00:08:29 He knows he fucked up. We're gonna we're gonna figure out a way to learn from this instead He was just like yeah, dude. He had four beers. I do that all the time Yeah, Mike Undy was like I think that the police needed to be quit being pussies like come on. There was a point one Oh, so yeah, he said he broke it down by weight. Yeah. How many beers that he had. And then my favorite part of this was he said, if there's any punishment, I'm probably going to just give him the ball 50 times in the first game. That'll show him. I'm going to give him extra carries. Yeah. I don't, I mean, Mike Gundy, I guess, I guess he's keeping the big 12. Like I didn't wouldn't have known big 12 media day was happening today
Starting point is 00:09:05 Yeah, I'm for Mike Ghandi. So credit to you for the big 12 being irrelevant today I don't think for the right reasons the commissioner also said he's not gonna rest until the big 12 is the best conference in the country Oh, good luck. He's just never gonna sleep. He's never gonna sleep. Well, they've had some good They've had some good runs, but they losing Oklahoma and Texas does not help. Yeah best in the country Yeah, I think the country. Yeah, I think the new Big 12 is going to be very, very fun. It's gonna be fun for sure. Yeah. And I'm also very excited because no one ever talks about, you know, all the college realignment is
Starting point is 00:09:34 always football centric, which I get because that's the main motivator. But like, Arizona and Kansas playing Big 12 basketball is gonna rule that is gonna be good to watch. Things that you think about and like the like BYU and UCF. I mean, it's a nice rivalry going. I need to I need some reminders of who's joining the ACC this year. Stanford and Cal. That's right. Yeah. SMU and I think I got all of them. I think I got all of them. Yeah, that's going to rock.
Starting point is 00:10:03 It is crazy looking at all like they when they updated all the right or not rankings, but like if you go on and you look for your conference, like I did that for the big 10 and just seeing 18 teams is like, holy fucking shit. Yeah, it's gonna be wild. Stanford and Duke, that's gonna be good rivalry. Yeah. All right. So this is so let's see the ACC. How many teams will 17 total teams? So I must have missed some. I got to find a list of all these. We should, we should just do this as a quick recap. 17 teams. That's insane. Yeah. I think, yeah. Stanford Cal SMU. Um, And then big 12 is if we went down the list real quick, I know UCF BYU Arizona Arizona State. I forget who else joined the big 12.
Starting point is 00:10:53 Utah? Yeah, I think so. There's a lot of teams. So yeah, Mike Gundy. Way to go, dude. Yeah, do you? I know big deal. Thousand times.
Starting point is 00:11:02 Thousand times his life. All right. What else we got? I have an update for us. Okay, so remember Kevin Durant, there was a speculation. Yeah, on what was going on with him. He's unhappy. Don't act like you're not interested in Charlotte to stingray. That pitch is alive. Kevin Durant is unhappy and request a trade. But he did. Well, I think he will. Oh, he will. I think oh, yeah, unhappy. We we've been talking to some
Starting point is 00:11:27 league sources. Yeah, the league sources are saying Kevin Durant have confirmed he is unhappy in his current situation, and would like to play somewhere else. Please credit Pardon my take Pardon my take according to the sources we talked to. I also love the picture day. One Mark few is a coach on Team USA didn't realize that. So he's going to get a gold medal before he gets to a final four and to Kevin Durant standing in the back row, the height
Starting point is 00:11:52 truthers are back. I don't even think it's a height truth thing anymore. It's just Kevin Durant has always been seven feet. He just doesn't want to say it. Yeah, yeah. And then there was a picture of the French team too. And Rudy was in the background with with Wimby. And he got on his tiptoes. So he didn't look that much shorter than Wimby. Smart move by him.
Starting point is 00:12:09 Yeah, that is very smart move. Oh, Cooper Flag. I think Cooper Flag. Oh yeah, in soccer? You know, Cooper Flag is- He might be a problem. We were the first to say it three years ago. It's gonna piss me off so much watching him dominate at Duke. Yeah, but they're they're not gonna still will like flame out. He was like taking this
Starting point is 00:12:29 year is gonna be off the charts off the chart. Yeah, as it should be. Yeah, it's gonna rule and then and the Pistons are gonna get the fifth pick. Yep. That's just gonna happen. But yeah, Cooper flag he was he was showing out against Team USA. That's got to be like the coolest woman ever to be playing against all those guys and actually be like, I belong on this court. You're hitting step backs over some of the best defensive players in the league. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:52 Yeah, I think he's good. Yeah. I'm gonna say it right now, he's good. Yeah, Spain, France played soccer. You see that goal? Goalazo. 16 year old. Yamal.
Starting point is 00:13:01 Yeah. Yamal was talking soccer. That's it. That's all, oh, Messi scored. Yamal. Yeah. Yamal was talking soccer. That's it. That's all. Oh, Messi scored. Yeah, Canada lost. Yeah, Spain beat Canada. Spain beat Canada.
Starting point is 00:13:12 Yeah, that's exactly what happened to me in soccer. Yep. I wish we had, I actually would have liked to watch the Euros, but we were busy. But yeah, it looked cool. Yeah, it was actually Spain, France. France got a goal, which was nice So they advanced all the way. I think this is the quarter finals semi finals today So they advanced all the way the semis they scored one goal
Starting point is 00:13:33 and I believe it was in the run of play today all their other goals were either own goals or PKs yeah, they had zero open goal. They had zero open goal goals for the entire tournament until today. We got to get their coach. Yeah, they just grit and grind. Yeah, just grit just grit. They're like Iowa football of football. Yeah, just never even try to score just get to get to PKs or get tripped in the box. Yep. Now let's talk to soccer or anything else going on in the sports world that we need to be aware of before we get to everything else we got. I think that's pretty much it. Let's just look. I think that's sports for the day. Oh, I have a headline I could read for us. You guys want me to read a headline real quick? Yeah, I have one for my hot sea cool throwing bone if I want to burn it.
Starting point is 00:14:16 Yeah, that's what I'm thinking too. Oh, sports. Okay. Here's let's read a headline. Man uses funnel to pour margarita down woman's butt restaurant outraged. Why are they outraged? I think some people were outraged. The restaurant Rodeo Mexican restaurant had to issue a letter. That's bad news when you have to issue a letter as a restaurant.
Starting point is 00:14:41 I don't even know they like that. When have you ever seen a restaurant be like here's a letter that we're informing everyone. Are people complaining to the restaurant because somebody butt funneled a margarita? Yeah, that's not on the restaurant. Well, there was video of it. They I guess I don't know maybe the vibes but as show week like we should you could butt funnel anywhere. You could charge double. Yeah. The Rodeo Mexican restaurant said dear valued customers recently became aware of an inappropriate incident that took place in our restaurant. We want to make it clear that such behavior is completely unacceptable
Starting point is 00:15:13 and does not reflect our values or mission to provide a family friendly. You're a restaurant family friendly dining experience. We are taking this matter very seriously and are conducting a thorough investigation in collaboration with the authorities. Any employees found to be involved will face appropriate action. We are committed to maintain the highest standards and ensuring a safe and enjoyable environment for all our guests. Thank you for understanding and continued support. Sincerely, Rodeo Mexican restaurant. That's what you're a restaurant. rodeo Mexican restaurant. That's what your restaurant. Yeah. And also that's putting an unreasonable expectation on your server. Once the drink is served, do you then have to sit at the table to make sure they don't butt funnel it? Yeah, I don't know. I did say rodeo. It's rodeo. Probably I was just
Starting point is 00:15:56 thinking of rodeo drive. Rodeo would be classier. Rodeo. They should rebrand as rodeo. Yeah. If it's rodeo, then you go in there expecting to see some buttholes. As I was reading it, I was like, this is definitely rodeo. Yeah, if it's rodeo, then you go in there expecting to see some bottles as I was reading it I was like, this is definitely rodeo. What am I? Why am I saying it like this? Yeah, there's people were complaining This woman said I've enjoyed dining in your restaurant for many years celebrated many birthdays there enjoyed your margaritas. Oh The one that went up the butt. I am far from a prude That's a classic prude thing. Yeah. No one has ever said that that wasn't approved, but I have never been more disgusted
Starting point is 00:16:28 in my life by the video of those people acting like animals in your restaurant. I strongly disagree with that. Also, let me see. Like could a dog butt funnel? I've watched a lot of Nat Geo. I've never seen an animal butt funnel. Margarita, could a gorilla, but funnel could have fucking tiger, but funnel. They don't have the thumbs. No, or the, I mean, they don't have funnels. Yes, I've seen the video and I know the name of the server and said video. I've also watched the quality of food and service decline over the years. That feels fake. That feels like you're piling on. Sounds like
Starting point is 00:17:01 she's waiting for an excuse. Yeah, with this incident being the final straw, I'll be taking my business elsewhere. Damn. The final straw actually went into that lady's bottle. Yeah. That was it. That was literally it. That's the final straw.
Starting point is 00:17:15 Yeah. And then one person, or Kate, our coworker, good friend Kate, left a review saying, this place rules, and I hope they don't let any drama bring them down and I vow to get there someday to enjoy many marks with my mouth. I also like that the restaurant is like, we will be conducting a very thorough investigation just like watching the security camera on our our standards. Yeah, or we expect higher
Starting point is 00:17:40 standards than butt funnels. There's gonna be like you know how in a menu it has that asterix and it says, warning consuming undercooked poultry or raw seafood. Yeah, it's a salmonella. Yeah, just on the drink menu have an asterix be like not to be inserted rectally. What else can you do? Just an X over any any funnels going into butts or you can just become the butt funnel friendly restaurant. Yeah, that would probably do well. We turned a blind eye to the brown eye.
Starting point is 00:18:06 Our guy Dana Beers has admitted to boofing. Oh, really? Yeah, oh yeah. Right up the pooper? Yeah, he boofed. He did it. I think that's a bridge too far. All right, I'm looking right now.
Starting point is 00:18:16 Yeah, there's not many other headlines or anything going on. Tyler Glasnow got hurt. That's not even news. He gets hurt every year. I think Brandon Ayyuk wants to leave the 49ers. Oh, what would give you that idea? The fact that he keeps talking about wanting to leave the 49ers? I probably would be spot on. Yeah, he posted a screenshot of him watching commanders film, which
Starting point is 00:18:36 concerns me a little bit because it's like how does how do you get that film probably from Jane Daniels? Or just he had a drone that flew over practice. But it seems like he wants to leave. I would accept Brandon Iuk on the commanders. Yeah, I think he's a good player. Did you see RG three? He was he he was like, Hey, this is safe space. All commanders fans you want to bring back the old logo? Really? Well, they brought back the yellow pants.
Starting point is 00:18:58 Yeah, yellow pants is a big deal. Got it. Big deal for people in DC. We don't have a lot to really sell a little pants in the last 14 years. That's huge. That's a yellow that's banner worthy. No, I saw the yellow pants and I was like, Okay, that's there. We had two seasons where we were pretty good. Yeah, that's huge. You gotta have the yellow P and yellow pants. No one will ever know. That's a fact. Okay, let's do should we do hot sea cool thrown? Yeah. Alright, let's do hot sea cool thrown is brought to you by our friends at Coors Light.
Starting point is 00:19:26 We are sponsored by Coors Light all the time, but especially Chill Week. Chill Week is presented by Coors Light before all the hustle of football season. We're heading out west. We're here right now for our first ever Chill Week. With the help of Coors Light, we'll be hosting interviews with fellow golf lovers in town,
Starting point is 00:19:44 enjoying the summer fun that Tahoe has to offer, and most of all, choosing Chill with Coors Light we'll be hosting interviews with fellow golf lovers in town enjoying the summer fun that Tahoe has to offer and most of all choosing chill with Coors Light all week long. We were choosing chill earlier today. We're going to be grilling and chilling later with some Coors Light. So when the mountains turn blue it's as cold as the Rockies. Coors Light is cold lager, cold filtered and cold packaged for a smoother finish. Tune in for our adventures at Chill Week and don't forget to choose Chill and reach for a CoorsLite. Get CoorsLite delivered straight to your door with Instacart by going to slash take. Celebrate responsibly Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. The best beer out there. It is CoorsLite. It is the chillest beer. It's the coldest beer. There's no better beer than when you're coming off what 18 holes of frisbee golf or Getting off a boat. It's the best. You just have a nice cold course like getting off the golf course course light That's where it is
Starting point is 00:20:32 So thank you to course light. All right, Hank. How's he cool to run? We also hot sees anyone that hasn't seen the new shirts wearing it mountains are blue They got the mountains on I'm wearing that shirt on the boat on the lake Mountains in the background so sick just felt right yes some of our best shirts we've ever made make sure I didn't get my computer in that shot um my other hot seat is joe biden oh why he seemed fine trump made a million dollar wager in an 18-hole golf match and he's gonna give him 20 strokes whoa trump already won that exchange right that's what i'm I'm saying. Like if Joe Biden doesn't accept hot seat, no, but except
Starting point is 00:21:07 he's gonna get smoked like no, but 20 strokes. If you accept the 20 stroke, like I don't care who it is. If anybody offered me 20 strokes and then I lost like even if I even if I beat him by the technicality of only losing by 18 strokes, I'm still the loser. No, you got to beat him straight up. Yeah. With the 20 strokes and be like, throw those 20 strokes in the trash. Yeah. So by even offering this to Biden, Trump already won. The way that Biden could win back is if he says, I'll do it,
Starting point is 00:21:35 but it's got to be Frisbee golf. That'd be pretty chill. Two guys just banging chains together. I think they would die if they had to play Frisbee golf. Definitely. You know what we should do? We should actually demand that they both do it, that they both have to carry their bags, but it's four rounds. It's like a full four round tournament and then hope that they just both die on the course. That would be over on under one and a half broken hips. Yeah, I'd hammer the over no medics. Yeah, just the two of them out of the course. Yep. And then they both die and then we're good. No, don't give them the rules. Yeah. Then we then we don't have
Starting point is 00:22:08 a fucking let them let them bang some chains back to the drawing board. Then we're good. Yeah, that's that's tough to 20 strokes. Because you can't. Yeah, if you play that and you lose by 10, then Trump's just like, I want Yeah, that was the best part of the debate, though, where they were just talking about their golf game was most relatable. They asked me there of them, Ben, they asked him a question about like childcare, what are you gonna do about childcare costs? And then
Starting point is 00:22:29 it just evolved into, well, I'm a six handicap. I'm an eight handicap. I beat your ass on the golf beat your ass. All right. All right, Jack, play tomorrow. All right. Good hot seat. Speaking of golf, my cool throws kicking Bradley. Yes, Ryder Cup snub. The. We I only watched it recently, but the the Netflix full swing documentary showing the details of how hard he got snubbed and the boys club, Zach Johnson, Spieth and Justin Thompson. Justin Thomas was crazy. I felt super bad for Keegan. And then
Starting point is 00:22:57 today he got named captain. He said he had no idea that that was even a possibility till he got the call being like, Hey, you're gonna be capped. Yeah, this is crazy. It's it does. Yeah. It does feel like a make good, but it's, I mean, he's a great dude and he's going to be a good captain. I just want him to be as petty as possible and like maybe even call Zach Johnson and be like, Hey, you've made the Ryder Cup team. We need you on the team. And then him be like, Really? That's awesome. Like psych. He said Zach Johnson was the one that told him. Oh, that kind of, yeah. Yeah. He needs to like,
Starting point is 00:23:29 invite Zach Johnson and then take away his invite. You should say, Zach, I'd like you to be on the Ryder Cup team as a caddy. Yeah. What do you actually, you'd probably suck at that too. Yeah. Uh, he also said, you want to valet our cars. I think he can say that he was going to take any golfer. Like it doesn't matter if you're on the PGA Tour, Liv Tour. Door's open for everyone. Hank. Yeah, Hank could even do it. Hank is eligible for the Ryder Cup.
Starting point is 00:23:50 Yeah. OK. Phil Mickelson, Bryson. Phil Mickelson, yeah. Let off with Phil with that list, huh? That Phil on the Ryder Cup would be the funniest. Yes. Obviously super old.
Starting point is 00:24:02 Greg Norman. Yeah, get all the guys, all the great Americans back yeah Ian Poulter yeah okay good cool throne thanks PFT good job my hot seat is us it's chill week dude yeah we're chill we're fucking chill oh you know what that was it that was a chill cool throne yeah my hot seat is us give me a little oh, uh oh. We got competition boys. We did a bad job, we didn't talk about this when we got back from our little vacay, but there's a new podcast in town.
Starting point is 00:24:31 Yeah. And it sounds fucking amazing. JOC was the one who alerted us. Oh yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, he says the text like watch out guys. You know what? I'll say the podcast first, but JOC's banned from it. Yeah, JOC and also shout out Jerry O'Connell because he literally, I think
Starting point is 00:24:48 he just polices the internet for us. Cause he, he texted me and PFT being like, watch out, watch out, watch your six. You're in trouble. So, uh, Adam Schefter tweeted this out on July 3rd, California governor, Gavin Newsom, Superbowl champion, Marshawn Lynch and agent Doug Hendrickson are joining forces for a new weekly podcast called Politiken that will be available on iHeart podcast. Newsome and Hendrickson have been friends since the 90s. Hendrickson has represented Lynch since 2007. They have been working on this podcast for the past six months.
Starting point is 00:25:20 We're fucked. Well, so all right. So I don't think we're fucked for the reason you're saying. I think this is like the big short, No Big Deal, I read the book before the movie came out, book was better. When they go down to Florida and they see like a stripper who has seven houses, Marshawn Lynch, Gavin Newsom and Doug whatever. Doug Hendrickson?
Starting point is 00:25:41 Having a podcast together is the very sign that the podcast bubble is about to burst. But you forget that Newsome and Hendrickson have been friends since the 90s. Oh, shit. And Hendrickson has represented Lynch since 2007. You also forget that they've been working on this podcast for the past six months. You know a podcast is gonna be-
Starting point is 00:25:57 I'd love to see that group text. It's gonna be a fucking banger of a podcast when you spend six months working on it. I challenge them. We're about to do the Mount Rushmore of worst situations to shit. I challenge them to do a better Mount Rushmore of worse situations to shit. Yeah, you can't do it. The French Laundry.
Starting point is 00:26:15 That'd be a bad place. That'd be a bad place to take a shit. That would be a bad place. Yeah, this is okay. I think it's hot seat podcasting in general. So whenever you hear somebody planning out a podcast, a good rule of thumb would be that it, it's like a sandwich. So if you've been working on a sandwich for six months, it's
Starting point is 00:26:33 probably gonna suck ass because it's been sitting out for a while. They've just been like going back and here's what we did all their best stuff already. Yeah, here's what working on a podcast for six months sounds like. Six months ago, you say, Hey, we should start a podcast. Yeah, and then like a week later We should really do that podcast and then the next week I've been thinking about we should definitely do that podcast Yeah, and then you finally sit down. I'm sure it'll last past election season to you work This isn't just like a short-term politicking is not just for election season Hank politics in his life. Yeah
Starting point is 00:27:02 Every day you politicsicking. I actually- Every day I'm politicking. Just a Marshawn Lynch podcast would be infinitely better than this. Yes. I think this podcast we worked on for all of one dinner. Yeah, there was a dinner- We went to one dinner before the first test episode.
Starting point is 00:27:20 No, yeah, we did a test episode remotely, I think, one time. No, we did one in your house in Austin. Yeah. That was the first episode. That's the first episode. Yeah. And all we did was a dinner before. No, but I think there was a test episode that was like, I don't think so. Yeah, that was like two weeks before that. I remember I was in a hotel room in Houston. It was like, maybe a 15 minute test. Oh, okay. So there it is. Yeah. We did an hour and 15 minutes. But we did
Starting point is 00:27:42 actually mean big cat did text back and forth for like, a couple years being like, at some point, we did an hour and 15 minutes. But we did actually mean big cat did text back and forth for like a couple years being like, at some point, we should work together. Yeah. So really part of my take started in like 2014. We were working on it for two years. Yeah. But we're thoughts. Yeah. Jerry O'Connell you're banned from going on politics. Yeah, he would never he would never. My cool throne is Dax ankle. Oh, you see Dak Prescott was wearing a walking boot on a boat when he was on vacation. And they asked Dak about it and he said it's absolutely nothing.
Starting point is 00:28:12 So he said he hurt his ankle closed here at his ankle like what two years ago, three years ago. And he's saying that he's just wearing the walking boot as a precaution on a boat. I don't think I don't know much about walking boots besides Big Ben, but I don't think that you just wear one because you're going on a boat. Maybe like maybe the worst place to wear one actually. Okay, since we are a big Dak Prescott podcast, we had him ranked in our top 18 of quarterbacks a month ago. Spinzone, maybe Dak Prescott is wearing the walking boot because in the past he has gone on vacations and got his ass beat. So if he puts on the walking boot, it's kind of like, hey, I'm not here to fight guy.
Starting point is 00:28:53 Yeah, you're not going to hit a guy who's handicapped. Right. In a walking boot. So yeah, that's it's precautionary. Don't want to get my ass beat like I did on spring break at South Padre Island. That's that's not a bad spin zone for it. Yeah, I just feel like if you're wearing it on, Padre Island. That's that's not a bad spin zone for it. Yeah. I just feel like if you're wearing it on you're not even allowed to wear shoes on a boat. But I guess if it's medical shoes, you can do that. You can wear shoes on a boat. Yeah, if you're allowed to wear shoe on the boat owner might I'm thinking back. Yeah, I've only like rented or been on friends boats. Yeah, you can
Starting point is 00:29:21 wear shoes on a boat. If it's your boat, you can wear shoes on a walking boot. Your boat walking boot seems like it really get in the way. I actually think it's shoes off. You do take shoes off? Yeah. I mean, I don't think people mostly don't but you can like it depends on the legal I think if it's like you if you own the boat outright. I fucking stop my shoes everywhere. pontoon boat shoes. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Living room on water. Yeah, but if it's
Starting point is 00:29:47 like a smaller boat, I don't know. I'm not a boat person. We gotta get to it. We gotta get a boat guy Hank. You gotta get out on the boat. Yeah. Okay, my fine. Absolutely nothing. He said my hot seat is actually Hank. Because we went this morning to get breakfast. And I my customary. We went and got bagels, great bagels. I'll go back tomorrow and get it for everyone. I got my customary backup bagel. So I ordered my regular bagel and a backup bagel. Regular bagel was a bacon, egg
Starting point is 00:30:18 and cheese. Let's just put that on the record. Right. And what? Yeah. Great. Great order. And my backup bagel was an everything bagel with cream cheese. And Hank scoffed at me. So I then tweeted it and everyone backed me up as like universal praise because here's a hard and fast rule. One and a half bagels is usually the perfect amount. I usually eat all two, but one and a half is the perfect amount. You can't one bagel is never fully satisfying. A backup bagel is the most important one. Bacon, egg and cheese.
Starting point is 00:30:49 Great. You need to finish it off with something. You invented, why is your breakfast dessert? So do you, is the backup bagel always like a sweeter one? It doesn't always have to be. If it's, if it's like, if I think it's going to be an awesome bacon, like there's a place I get a bacon, egg and cheese from in Chicago that it does it one does not fill me up one and a half usually does. But would you ever get like the cream cheese one as your first primary bagels and then have the bacon, egg and cheese after that? Yeah. You always I usually don't like to say bacon, egg and cheese. Yeah. But
Starting point is 00:31:23 I'll do like I'll sometimes do if I'm not in the mood for bacon, egg, and cheese. Yeah, but I'll do like, I'll sometimes do, if I'm not in the mood for bacon, egg, and cheese, I'll just do two, I'll do a bagel with cream cheese and a backup bagel with cream cheese. That's smart. Yeah, it's Max had my, Max actually was like, can I get a whack of one of these? I was like, buddy, I got a backup bagel just for this spot.
Starting point is 00:31:40 You get backup bagels, Max? Does anyone here get backup bagels? Max does, he said he does. I've never done it, but I think a good rule of thumb is just like when you're on vacation, or when you're on a trip somewhere, you never know when you're gonna eat next. Yeah, you're being a hater, Hank.
Starting point is 00:31:54 Oh, you put me on the hot seat. You put me on the hot seat. Is that on? It depends where the bagels, like New York City bagels, no. Like New York City bagels are massive. What about New York City bagels with bacon, egg, and cheese? But like, if you're in other parts of the country, whether the bagels now. New York City bagels are massive. What about New York City bagels with bacon, egg, and cheese? But if you're in other parts of the country, whether the bagels are a lot smaller, then
Starting point is 00:32:09 yes I agree. I get backup bagels everywhere. New York I do not. New York bagels are very big and fit. I actually went one further. I went trust tree with Max because I was like, I had just given this guy half of my backup bagel and I was like, sometimes I'll do backup sandwiches. And he was like like that's a little crazy but yeah we agreed. You do like us if you want to get to yeah you go you go like if you don't want to get if you want to try two different things I'll get like a buffalo
Starting point is 00:32:35 chicken sandwich and a cheese steak and then but you get the small Jimmy Johns I always get a backup sandwich but you got to get the small ones because you can put that in the fridge I just I don't understand what the issue is of getting too much breakfast. Yeah, it's a bad, I don't have an issue at all. What happens if your fucking starter gets hurt? You got a backup. You just don't plan. It's different positions. The thing is this. No, they're both breakfast. It's what's so infuriating about Hank is like different quarterback types. No,
Starting point is 00:33:04 one's, one's, one's maybe more classic, like six, five rocket arm, bacon, egg, It's what's so infuriating about Hank. Those are different quarterback types. No. One's maybe more classic, like 6'5 rocket arm, bacon, egg, and cheese. The other might be a little elusive, probably can't throw it downfield, bagel with cream cheese. I think a better analogy would be a running back duo. Because you can't have two quarterbacks as a team,
Starting point is 00:33:20 but you got thunder and lightning. Yeah. I got a little Darren's rolls to finish off my, uh, you got the Michael Turner, Brandon Jacobs. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not. You're never gonna catch me complaining about getting breakfast with a big cat. There's nothing I love more. That's what's so infuriating about breakfast with Hank is if there's too much breakfast, he'll complain. Yeah, if there's not enough breakfast, he'll complain. enough breakfast he'll complain. Backup bagel is something everyone should embrace in life. You never complain about having not enough breakfast. Only when we just drive for 12 hours straight and don't get breakfast. There's just no way when you eat one bagel you're like I'm full and satisfied. I couldn't use another half a bagel right now. Also Hank, I let fact check real quick. I give you all the Pinocchios. We just left a fucking hotel room in the morning. We didn't drive for
Starting point is 00:34:06 12 hours straight. We slept in a hotel. We got out of the hotel. We went and got breakfast and then Hank was like, why didn't we get enough? No, this is on. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. We had slept overnight in the hotel. Then we get up in the morning. We go to the bus and then you complain about not enough breakfast. Yeah, we actually had a very funny moment when we checked in last night at like midnight. I love we should do an interview series with guys who work
Starting point is 00:34:32 overnight shifts at hotels because they're always a little different in like a good way. But this guy was a little different in a good way. And we were like debating. We're like, hey, do you guys have breakfast here? They're like, no. And at first we're like, everyone's responsible for guys have breakfast here? They're like, no. And at first, we're like, everyone's responsible for their own breakfast. And we're like, we agree.
Starting point is 00:34:49 And then we told the guy behind the desk, we're like, hey, you're a witness. You hear this? He's saying that he's responsible for his own breakfast. The guy was like, I don't know what the fuck's going on. And then we're like, do you have breakfast here? He's like, no. He's like, all right, change that.
Starting point is 00:35:02 You're not a witness for that anymore. We're going to get breakfast together. Yeah, that guy had a look when we came in and we started talking and he was like, I usually don't do it. People who are talking, I will get breakfast for us tomorrow. Okay. Cause we have an 8 a.m. interview and you're going to be a baby about it.
Starting point is 00:35:19 That's a fact. He's going to be a baby about it and I'll get you a backup bagel too. Thank you. Yeah, no problem Alright, my cool throne is the Twitter account The hater central NBA hater. I know this one made me laugh. So if you guys aren't familiar with NBA hater It is very clear and what he is. He's NBA hater some of his tweets. This is just from like the last two days
Starting point is 00:35:44 He said Rob Polinka this off season, zero new signings, 143 mewing sessions. I think that's when you get jerked off on a table with a cat. Yeah. I don't. I, I think mewing is when you like put your tongue on the top of your roof of your mouth. It's me leaking. That's, that's mewing. I think mewing is what's when you get milked in a table. I need to mew more. Oh,wing. I think mewing is what's when you get milked in a time I need to mew more. Oh okay. I think mewing is complaining. Seven 74 rejections held hostage by rich Paul and LeBron zero working phones reportedly interested in signing point guard shooting guard Savannah James. So these are the type of when Dalton connect doll connected Bronnie James debut 10 James debut, 10 points, four for 19 field goals,
Starting point is 00:36:26 one for six three pointers. The ask connection is what he's calling them. Like he's in Franz Wagner, Wagner, who we love, uh, signed a 234, $24 million contract extension. Yeah. Which is nuts. And he said, never forget his Illuminati Aster class. So this is the this is the type of tweets you're getting from him. He so you see this this guy he goes after everyone and he does this all time. And you're like this guy I don't know what his deal is. He had a tweet yesterday he said started this account in the 10th grade. Oh, not thinking much of it. Now I'm going to college in a month with
Starting point is 00:37:06 105k followers The support has been unreal. Thanks to every single person who's ever interacted with any of the tweets I hope I can give you a laugh whenever you need one So the NBA hater central was was like 15 years old when he started this Okay, what were the replies that like from the long-term followers? They're like people like yeah, bro. Great job, bro Killing it. I'm supporting you From the long-term followers. They're like people like yeah, bro. Great job, bro killing it It's been amazing to join you on this ride The he called the Warriors have added depth this offseason buddy healed and Kyle Anderson 32 huge teeth one receding hairline building the no aura Avengers. I gotta see what this guy looks like I got I gotta see a face reveal
Starting point is 00:37:42 Oh man, but shot him. I mean that's the dedication. Mm-hmm started starting the hater central early Yeah, I start following that other account that we talked about hater report. Yeah now I gotta start following hater central He's got a soccer one too. Does he really? Yeah, he's got like a whole network. Yeah, he's yeah He's building out an empire nation of haters. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's kind of respectable and he's only 18 years old He's starting college. Hopefully, we'll see once he gets to college. You know, he might be partying, meeting girls that he might. Yeah, might get soft. It might get soft. He said, and Bob, a wash to 26. Love that. Yeah, love that. I also want to know if this guy's taking like intern applications to
Starting point is 00:38:22 open up other branches of hating. Yeah getting the heat going Okay That was good. Hot Seat Cool Taron. Let's do Mount Rushmore. Then we'll get to David Wells You ready boys, let's do it Mount Rushmore of worst situations to have to shit. Yep Who is up first? So that would be Henry Henry then Max then me and even in the cat. Yes so it's Mount Rushmore of Situations that are worse when you have to shit right now rush more of situations that are bad to shit in yeah one one okay
Starting point is 00:38:59 One one during foreplay. Oh Foreplay whoa big for play guys getting started Which would do during sex wouldn't be worse No, no, because that you're not even gonna get to sex Like you start making out with a girl things are if you're like me it's ross and you're like I got a shit that seems Like really bad, but if you don't maybe you're mid Maybe you you know you entered the the goal zone, but like this this you don't even get there you're gonna have to go to you know take a shit and that's gonna
Starting point is 00:39:27 ruin the vise for plays like making out everything yet setting leading up to sex okay getting it Oh getting a butt funnel restaurant yeah okay that would actually be a very bad place to have to shit yeah absolutely all right I didn't have on my list for play for play. What can I for play you into? I'm just regular regular stuff. I mean the pod. When I have a story, but I don't know if I want to say it. Maybe we'll cut it. But this happened not for play. Oh, but I was like first or second day with a girl We were walking back to her place and my stomach dropped. Oh, and I was praying that she had like a lobby with a bathroom
Starting point is 00:40:11 Yeah, yeah, yeah did not had to walk up like four flights of stairs and shit and shit And then you gotta do the fast one. I could you just like it was like a full expo It was like it was a disaster Barbara small. She could could probably hear it You find it in there for like 10 minutes No, it was Really washing your and then you'll just spray anything you can find Fucking bleach like I'll spray any I'll split cologne Hairspray anything just get the air going Hank doesn't have a match. So he just takes out a joint and lights it in there spray anything just get the air going. Hank doesn't have a match so he just takes out a joint and lights it in there.
Starting point is 00:40:45 Disaster, yeah. Did you still close? Let me just talk about that. Damn. Don't invite shit. So this seemed very personal. Okay. Max, you're up.
Starting point is 00:40:56 I'm going to say on a plane. Yeah. Great pick. Great pick. On a plane sucks. I don't even think I would be able to do that. No, I think I would fit in a bath You made him small doing the single bagels and that would change You know what not getting you breakfast
Starting point is 00:41:23 Officially, okay. Allially. Okay, fine. All right, everyone else? Bagels. Max, you said that you don't think that you could fit in an airplane bathroom. You don't pee on an airplane? No, but sitting is a different situation. It is, Max is right.
Starting point is 00:41:36 I'm gonna back him up here. It's a tight squeeze. And also, I was out- Bathroom on the plane. I was also looking at the- If you have to shit, you can go to a bathroom. You don't wanna shit on a plane. But you don want to be the guy who shits on a plate like on What you're gonna see these people again in your life? Well, sometimes it might be a reporter. Yeah, it's true
Starting point is 00:41:55 Reporters everywhere. All right PFT. Okay I'm gonna go with my first one during sex As you're having sex. In the middle of sex, when you're doing the act and you have to shit, what do you do? Yeah. You have to stop, then you go to the bathroom. Maybe she's into it.
Starting point is 00:42:20 And then you have to shit, and then you're like, well, now we have to start foreplay again. And then if you had to shit during foreplay that would make it definitely worse But I think having to shit during sex is bad. Yeah During sex would suck Okay, good pick. Thank you Alright, I'll go with yes Mad about the backup bagel. Yeah, that's like about the wakeboarding. Just insane. Can
Starting point is 00:42:48 you exist? Put me on the hot seat. Uh okay. I'll go. I'm gonna fire back. Don't put me on the hot seat. My one one um significant others parents house is the worst because even if you even if it's a house where you can maybe find the bathroom that no one goes to, there's still always in the back of your mind like I max you max and I maybe I think you guys would relate but max I especially a road toilet you just don't know like it's it's like playing on a day it's like playing on a 12-foot hoop you don't know the the dimensions of it you don't know what the flushing is
Starting point is 00:43:21 gonna be like you don't know if it's a bad flush, easy flush, anything. A road toilet is the scariest thing in the world. The toilet paper may be extra thick, all that stuff. You don't know if the bathroom is gonna have the fan as one of the switches. So many variables. You're just hitting every switch, hoping one of them turns, and then,
Starting point is 00:43:38 when you walk back in, then your significant other is like, where were you? Right. And then everyone else hears or asks that. Oh, shit. And then you're like, I had to take a phone call in the bathroom. Or you run the risk of like mother-in-law or sister, you know, sister, cousin, someone standing outside
Starting point is 00:43:54 and being like, oh, like the, when you open the door after a big shit at someone else's house and there's someone waiting. Right there, yeah. And you're like, God damn it. Is there anything worse than being in that situation? You're taking a shit and then someone tries to open the door and you hear the click and you have to say someone's in here. Yeah. Someone's in here. Hey, you know that voice. Yeah. Hey, you try to do a different voice. They might think it's a different family.
Starting point is 00:44:16 Remember? Yep. The worst. Uh, and then my other big one is, uh, right after you get out of the shower. That's the worst because you don't go back in the shower usually and you can you could do a good job. Why? But that just it's just a different vibe for your whole day. Yep. You're there's a vibe of shitting right before the shower and there's a vibe of shitting right after the shower. Your day is basically ruined by that moment. Yep. And it's like that's I don't it doesn't happen often but when it does like that was just the biggest mistake. Okay, Max. No, I think it's been gifted. So wrapping
Starting point is 00:44:50 back around. After sex, I'm gonna go. No, after sex is great shit. During anal, check your phone. You can take it, Hank. Now, if I were you, I'd take it when you're getting anal. take it Hank. If I were you I'd take it. When you're getting anal? See what POT is gonna you know. I'm gonna go with just at a bar. At a bar when you're when you're out for the night. You're out with the lads. It depends on the bathroom bar situation. Like if they if I have taken many a shit at a bar, if they have the private stall.
Starting point is 00:45:25 Yeah, it's, die bar is the worst when you walk in and you're like, all right, there's the worst is like a bar that has the, like the barriers are so small that like, if you stand up, you can see everyone and everyone can look over and that's the worst. If there's like one urinal and one stall and there's so much turnover of people using that urinal But you're just using that stall to shit is it is terrible
Starting point is 00:45:50 I've told the story but one of the funniest things ever was the bar Duffy's in Chicago and they had for a while there. I don't know if they fixed it, but it was like it was like seven urinals and then a Toilet, but no barrier. Yeah. There was one time I was there watching college football and a dude, it was full and a dude just sat down and started taking a shit and everyone cheered. It was like, fuck yes, dude. I thought you said that was like a fantasy football pun or no on it. That would be a great, that would be a great punish. You have to go to a bar. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There was a bar in
Starting point is 00:46:26 Austin called nasties I used to go to where it was the entire bathroom was just one toilet in the middle of the room. Like a sit down toilet. And nobody ever took a shit there ever. One time I walked in there was just a guy standing. He's like ready to go like pants down. Gotta go. Gotta turn around. Yeah. Yeah. Shitting in a bar because then you also get that embarrassment factor of walking back and people like, dude, were you just shitting? You just gotta you just gotta rub your nose. Yeah. In that moment, you have to act like you never
Starting point is 00:46:51 shit. No, dude. Yeah, I would never shit. All right, Max. I guess I have a theme going here. But I'm just gonna go with on a boat. That's a good pick. I had that great. First boat next. But it's like there's boat mates. We way better than a plane because there's no bathroom on there or awkward on but yeah, that's the that that was the reason I didn't do it because there are probably people who like to aqua dump. Yes, there's a there are mind it. There are bathroom. That's what I'm saying. And on boats too. Not always. No, but those boat bathrooms are bad. That's what I'm saying and on boats too not always no, but those boat baths are bad
Starting point is 00:47:32 Don't like small bat I don't like shitting in small even if there's a bathroom on a boat It's one of the ones that you have to like press the pedal on yes Yeah, yes, and it's like that stink just is gonna stay for a while Okay, I'm gonna go With out a sporting event at a sold-out sporting I'm gonna go With out a sporting event at a sold-out sporting Definitely a bar again much smaller much less people probably aligned, but still not bad But a sporting event when you like I'm thinking of all my situations when it's like you it's like diarrhea like you can't wait like yeah, I make drops and you have to go and
Starting point is 00:47:58 No matter what you have to wait for probably 20 or 30 people and then you have to just you know I'm in load with everyone inside. And when you get into that bathroom to take the shit, the toilet is always a war zone. Yep. Yeah, you go through all of them. And you're just like, fuck, this is gonna be you just know any high traffic situation like this sucks. And bonus for that pick. The toilet paper is always the worst. It's the worst. It's single ply. It's there at all. Yeah, and it's just terrible
Starting point is 00:48:26 Yeah, and then I will go in another situation that there is no bathroom if you're on the subway Because then I should my pants on the subway usually yeah when you because even if you're on the subway again Your stomach drops you're like fuck. I got to go to the bathroom There's not a quick bathroom off a subway You have to get up and then hope you can find somewhere but most places with subways are places like you know no public bathrooms. Yeah, just run in So yeah, nothing worse, and then if you have to fart it out. You're just crammed around people Thorst yep agreed okay. I'm gonna go with a Music festival porta potty. Oh
Starting point is 00:49:02 Good one. It's been used all day. It's so fucking hot. Yeah. I shitting in any porta potty is the worst. You walk out of there like you literally were just came out of a sauna and it's just disgusting. And it's also like sitting on piss. It's the fucking shit. When the porta potty, when you look in and it's been rising. Oh yeah. There's a lot in there. You always have to peek too, right? Yeah. In a porta potty, you have to just take a look. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:29 Like, what's the situation like down there? Yeah, the bomb go off in here. Good pick. Good pick, Max. All right, for my next one, I'm just going to go in. Max just keeps picking small toilets. Yeah. Yeah, but they're playing.
Starting point is 00:49:44 Porta potty plays are also hot though That's either to your make you eat a backup I might sit here and be like we're not starting the day until you eat to which one of his picks do you dispute? Not disputing just critiquing. I Think they're all valid. If you're on a plane just mad because PFT got sex and you got four play. Yeah When I'm going down on a chick Because PFT got sex and you got foreplay. Yeah, you know, foreplay is way worse. Foreplay is way worse. When I'm going down on a chick. Okay.
Starting point is 00:50:08 Reverse. Alright. Splunking. That's your up PFT. That's gross Hank, you're gross. I'm just gonna go with on a road trip. Yeah. In a car on a road trip.
Starting point is 00:50:18 Mm-hmm. Because then you gotta make everybody pull over for you. Yep. You gotta find a bathroom. Sometimes you have to go into the gas station, ask them for the key that's attached to like a hockey stick, then go around the corner, open up the bathroom door, you go in, there's needles everywhere in the bathroom. Also looks like a bomb went off. It smells like shit. It's just a bad bad scene if you have to shit on the road. Yep. Yep. Okay, I got to to finish off my picks. This one's happened to me a few times.
Starting point is 00:50:47 I'm gonna go with right before you have to puke. Because that's the worst. When you're taking a shit and you're like, you're fucked up and you're taking a shit and you're like, this will solve it. And you're like, nope, I gotta puke. And then you gotta puke where you're just shitting. When I was a kid and I had a stomach bug,
Starting point is 00:51:02 I did both at the same time. Yeah, it's the world. Like I was puking and as I was puking shit, but came out of my ass like on the the wall I probably shouldn't have shared that but it has happened But you like has it happened to you guys before where you like so fucked up and you're like a shit will solve this You're like, nope. It's a puke. It's like, but I already shit. So now I have to turn around.
Starting point is 00:51:26 It's the grossest thing ever. You got two moves at that point. You can either shit, like try to spew it between your legs or if you're lucky, there's a bathtub next to you. You just lean over there. Oh, the worst. And then my last one is, I can't say to it, actually Hank can say to it, prison, prison has to suck to shit.
Starting point is 00:51:48 That's a good fourth pick. You, I mean like you, you, there's a shitter in your room with a roommate. Hank, you've shit in prison before. I did shit in front of people. No, I was in my own, in my own stall. We were in the waiting cell. This was three o'clock in the afternoon. They said, we're not getting out until seven.
Starting point is 00:52:02 And I was like, I'm not holding this for whatever 20 hours and I just started shitting and I was like are you fucking pooping right now? I was like what I hadn't I had no choice yeah no option but every story you hear in every picture you see it's usually like two people or three people or four people living in a room and there's just a toilet in the middle yeah I do you have to have like a schedule and it's just gotta suck someone's gonna use it. Yeah. And it's just gotta suck no matter what. Yeah, that'd be bad. It's gonna suck for everyone. I would just stop shitting. Yeah. Yeah. Okay,
Starting point is 00:52:34 PFT, your last pick. All right, my last pick. I was thinking about going super specific with this one. But I'm just gonna say in a foreign country. If you're out in a foreign country, you know, bidets. So here's the thing, though, ever used one. I don't like bidets. Here's the thing bidets. You have to walk around with a wet ass afterwards. Agreed. I'm not a bidet guy. I think it's a little sus that you just get water sprayed up your butt. I'm a real man. I like to stick my own fingers up my ass. So I don't like bidets combined with toilet paper I'm a real man. I like to stick my own fingers up my ass. So I don't like bidets combined with
Starting point is 00:53:06 toilet paper. Not a bad scene. Just bidet. I don't I would never trust that. First of all, yeah, you can't trust it. Second of all, you just have wet ass. It just it just runs down your leg. Dumb question. Where's that water come from? Is that recycled? Is that poop water? Yeah. No, I think there's poop water back up depends on what kind of bidet we're talking about there's some bidets where you have two stations so okay from the poop station I don't trust a station to fight some of them have just like a faucet in the
Starting point is 00:53:33 wall that you spray yeah but the sneaky one of the weirdest things about shitting in a foreign country especially if you're on an island somewhere or in like Central or South America the plumbing system isn't equipped to handle toilet paper. So a lot of places they have toilet paper, but you have to wipe and then there's a trash can right next to the toilet that you have to throw your used toilet paper on top of other people's shitty toilet paper. And then also if you're out and you you don't know the language, then you have to ask people where the bathroom
Starting point is 00:54:02 is. And then they're like, Oh, this, this guy wants to shit this American big shitter. Yeah, almost home and then you're and then you're in traffic and you can't get out of it. You start sweating Such traffic. Yeah, I Could pft you but I'm not going to cuz I have integrity of the game. What does that mean? Make a really excellent. Yeah. What is that? I was gonna say while you're puking Because that's basically the foreplay sex of okay do whatever you want dude, you're you've been so on chill I don't care Well, how is that a PFT? Well, you just took my picking slightly slightly altered it No, I had I had during sex is my one one. I had while you're puking on my list That's why like do whatever you want, bro
Starting point is 00:55:03 I'll go with during your own wedding vows That's a funnier pic that's a great pick a can't say no from experience, but that would doubt All right, what do we leave off? I had a kid's school, elementary school. I have not had to do this, but going to my son's school, and you see the toilets, they're two feet off the ground, like a foot off the ground. Would never want to do that.
Starting point is 00:55:40 What about during an assembly that you're in at school? Yeah. Or during a meeting? Like, there's a bunch I go around like you can't leave for 20 minutes. Everyone knows business people who have like six hour like full day meetings and you just have to excuse yourself and be like, I'm sorry, I have to go to the bathroom. Yeah. And then you're not back like too quickly.
Starting point is 00:55:58 Everyone's like, Oh my god, he just shit himself. Yeah, that was when you're wearing a suit. Yeah. Oh, we're having to like maybe a tuxedo at a wedding. You got the suspenders and everything. And you just basically, you're like, I'm gonna shit somewhere on this suit. You got to like, basically take off all your clothes. Yeah, that would be bad. Also, if you're if you're at a job, with a boss that is like a serious job, not like a fuck
Starting point is 00:56:23 around job, but a job that you care about that's your career. And then you go in at the same time as your boss. He goes to the urinal, you go to the stall, then he knows. And then he sticks around a little bit too long and you have to start shitting. I think it might be worse if you both go to the stall, because then you have to sit there and be like,
Starting point is 00:56:40 you know, I know. Like, because he's not only having to smell your shit, but he also is like, this guy knows how I sound. Yeah. I did that one time with my boss back in Austin, we'd go in the bathroom at the same time, sit down, he goes to the stall, I go to the stall and then he just screams fire in the hole, broke the ice and just let it rip. Yeah. Just absolutely let it rip. And then I was like, okay, this guy's cool. He shits loud. Um, I had, I had two others that I was surprised it weren't picked. Uh, one is, uh, when you're in a pool because not only like the fact that you have to shit while you're
Starting point is 00:57:12 in a pool, but there's nothing worse when you're like in a pool or at the beach and you have to go to the bathroom and you're, you're not, you're going to be wet. So you're slipping on the floor. Your ass cheeks are wet. It's just a mess. The beach is a good one. Yeah, beach is a big one. Yeah, aqua dump. Yeah, aqua dump. And then what do you say? Good. No, go ahead. I was gonna say in high school after you've already wasted a bathroom break to just walk around. Oh, yeah. And then you come back and you're like, I have to go to a fake. I used to I used to just
Starting point is 00:57:40 be like, every, every period I would go maybe once or twice. Just like, you have to go in every single class because you I should just be like every every period I would go maybe once or twice Every single class cuz you know you there were times they don't know and then the teacher would get mad But I was like fuck it. Yeah, what do you say at that point? You're just like no I the first one I was faking it right yeah, like no like I Had to shit. Yeah, what about during during the second quarter of college football game? And you're the coach. Oh, yeah. And you're old. And then you have to stop the game to sprint across the field into the locker room. Yeah, you're flushed out.
Starting point is 00:58:11 Yeah, yeah. And then the other one I had that I was surprised. It's kind of similar to the significant others parents house, but significant other in a hotel room. Because that you could be with your significant other forever. When you get into some hotel rooms, and you're like, this hotel room because that you could be with your significant other forever when you get into some hotel rooms and you're like this hotel room is 300 square feet like you're you were men the way we shit changes the whole vibe of an entire hotel room or a weekend. So like you have to go to the lobby or something. But if you have to go in the hotel room,
Starting point is 00:58:43 max you're looking at me like you don't. Yeah, no, I let it rip. You do. Dude, when it's such a small confined space, I'm like, this shit's going to linger for days. So I felt, yeah, the sound. Yeah, exactly. Back to your story. Um, all right. Any, any others? Oh, gas station with only one bathroom. You know which ones I'm talking about where it's one single bathroom. And it's like, this bathroom has been through hell. Like absolute hell. That's like, if you're on a road trip that goes hand in hand with what you just said.
Starting point is 00:59:15 Like you really have to go and it's the only gas station around. And you're like, do you have a bathroom? They're like, yeah, but it's in the back for employees. Yeah. And it's like, okay, I can use it. And there's, oh, I know. To know there you have to walk through like their inventory of There was picture the other one is key the key bathrooms at a gas station that you have to go outside for those are always the worst. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:37 Trucks are probably getting their dick sucked in there. Oh, yeah. During the NBA finals against the Lakers. Yeah, that'd be bad. That would be bad. That'd be very bad Me raising his hand during a marathon. Oh It might be the only time you could shit your pants and no one's gonna really judge you Yeah. The bass clarinet. The bass clarinet. No, it's David Clark. David Clark. David Clark.
Starting point is 01:00:05 Yeah. That was a great video. I also feel like runners, they welcome you into an elite fraternity if you do that. Yeah. They're like respect. Yeah, you left it all out there. Okay, let's get to our interview.
Starting point is 01:00:16 We got an awesome interview with David Wells and we'll finish up with a part in your take. PFT, you got an ad before we start the interview? I do. David Wells is brought to you by Coors Light. Coors Light is the absolute best. We cracked open some Coors Lights on the Frisbee golf course today.
Starting point is 01:00:32 The victor got the spoils, the mountains were blue. Before all the hustle football season, part of my take is headed west. It's our first ever chill week. With help of Coors Light, we're hosting interviews with fellow golf lovers in town, enjoying the summer fun that Tahoe has to offer. Most of all, choosing chill with Coors Light all week long. When you embrace a chill mindset, it's a good time to choose chill. Crack open a Coors Light. Coors Light is
Starting point is 01:00:56 mountain cold refreshment, crisp and refreshing as the Colorado Rockies. Tune in for our adventures at Chill Week. Don't forget to choose Chill. Reach for Coors Light. Get Coors Light delivered straight to your door with Instacart by going to slash take. Celebrate responsibly Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. And now here's David Wells. Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very special guest. It is our first interview of Chill Week sponsored by Coors Light and Chevy Silverado. It is the legend, 21 years pitching in MLB. David Boomer-Wells, can we, should we go by Boomer,
Starting point is 01:01:34 or how do you want to start that? I'm cool with any one of them. All right, I love that. Let's start though, we're here at the tournament that's gonna be taking place this weekend in Tahoe. First of all, how's the golf game? Do you think we have a chance of winning? I have zero chance of winning. Okay. So you can't say zero. What if someone, I'm gonna tell you zero. What if half of the field gets hit by a bus?
Starting point is 01:01:57 There's another half. And there's another half are some good players, but no, I've, I've come this year with zero expectations You know, I had a shoulder replacement in December So I'm just getting that back. So I've probably had about nine rounds ten rounds. Okay since then so it's like It's it's not pretty but I mean I am I mean because I'm coordinated and I do play a lot of golf It's just just trying to find your rhythm in that and it's just it's not there. But yeah, I just try to stay away from the double bogeys. What's what's your handicap? Well, normally when I'm playing a lot, it's probably, you know,
Starting point is 01:02:35 anywhere from a six to a nine. Okay, nice. Yeah, that's like Joe Biden, right? Yeah. Yeah, it makes you a pink belt and tongue folks That's I love it though that like you're like from a six to a nine That's a really good golfer and you're being very humble being like I I'm not gonna compete in this thing No, and it's a good song. Yeah, I don't you probably don't know who's saying if six was a nine if six was a nine Rush no, you got to go way back brother three dog night If six was a nine, uh, Rush? No. Damn. You gotta go way back, brother. Is it? Is it?
Starting point is 01:03:08 Ugh. The Mamas and the Papas? No. What is it? Robert Johnson. Nope. Jimi Hendrix. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:03:16 I should've known that one. Idiots. You're a big music guy. Huge music guy. So I heard a story that, uh, your favorite, obviously your favorite day was when you would start, but mostly because you got to control the clubhouse music. So what was the usual pick and was there anyone in particular who was like, what the hell
Starting point is 01:03:32 boomer, we don't want to listen to this? Well, a lot of guys didn't want to listen to it, especially Joe Tory, but I didn't give two shits about that. Can we cuss? Yeah, fuck, motherfucker. Fucking A. Yeah. You can't say fart.
Starting point is 01:03:44 I know you got in trouble with that one time. How about that? You did. Yeah, that fuck motherfucker. Yeah. Yeah, so can't say fart. I know you got in trouble with that one time about that Yeah, that was alright, but anyways, I Would I mean I got fired up? So my mate my go-to was Metallica nice hundred percent and I'd throw a little disturbed in there Okay, little slipknot in there and just get it going and then you know I'd wind down a little bit play a little bit of Van Halen love Van Halen. Yeah, you know, do that some cheap tricks, some of the old school stuff and then finish it up with with Wolf and Man. Yeah. And then that was one of my come out songs, but played a lot of pod as well. So wait, was my boy San Diego
Starting point is 01:04:18 boys down there? What would Tory say? He would try to turn it down. I go back and turn it back up. Yeah, what did he want? I just told him if you want to win, leave the fucking music alone. Yeah, this is how I get ready. You know, for my starts. Yeah, go out in the go out in a dugout do something but you know, for the next 4550 minutes. Yeah, I respect that though, like on days that you're working, you know, what gets you dialed in, right? It's some fucking Metallica, but he made it all about himself. So yeah, it was like, you know,
Starting point is 01:04:45 what do you do? But you know that to me that that just worked with for me and how I got prepared and ready because I just, you know, music, if music wasn't around, I don't think I've been a worth shit. Yeah. You know, I just, I always gravitate and go to music and any time and if high or low, just go to music and you just find the songs that work for you to get you out of your funk. So what are your top three Metallica albums? You know, probably Ride the Lightning.
Starting point is 01:05:14 I like, you know, obviously the Black Album. Yeah, which was great and probably Masters. Okay. Yeah, those three are pretty badass. Yeah, those those really do like the old school Metallica You can't you don't have a pulse if you listen to that and you can't get up for it No, and I used to run with Lars back in the day. So it was quite Quite a lot of fun, you know, James Hatfield didn't really
Starting point is 01:05:36 Gravitate towards me a little as much but you know, he was he was nice He wasn't a dick, you know a lot of people can be but he was he was really cool And I got to go behind the scenes and you know hang out and sessions with them and do all that He was nice. He wasn't a dick. A lot of people can be but he was he was really cool. And I got to go behind the scenes and, you know, hang out in sessions with them and do all that. So it was pretty cool. And but yeah, Lars, that was my man. I named my son after him. So yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, that's really cool. So and he's a drummer. So it's so hopefully he'll follow in his footsteps. Yeah. So when you sat down, you took your knee brace off. Is your knee okay, by the way? Yeah, I just I had to put that on I'm getting this done in December December 2nd
Starting point is 01:06:08 I get a knee replacement. So I was just I gotta wear a coat techs from time to time You know, I was admiring the tattoo that the knee brace was covering. Yeah, that's you got a skull But the skull also is a baseball and who's on that that's like a cone Don Larson and me. Yep Whitey Ford and Babe Ruth and then the knee the the nose is the tunnel going from the state from the clubhouse to the Awesome tattoo and then you know all the teeth and all that stuff. But yeah, it's just you know, I like skulls So yeah, so so you mentioned, you know some of the guys there David Cohn And got to talk about the perfect game. How hung
Starting point is 01:06:48 over were you for the perfect game? I was well after, well, as the game went on, I got better. But the start I got to the park that morning and Coney's locker was next to mine. And, you know, they were getting ready to go out on the field. And he just looked at me and goes wow No, what I'm looking around what he goes you stink, dude. He was Hide because if he goes if Joe Torrey smells you you're done. Yeah, I was a brewer How many hours a lot of vodka came out of that body that day? Yeah, sometimes when you're hungover You just you don't you don't like it drowns out some of the anxiety some of the some of the negative self-talk you just go out there and you fucking do it yeah and a lot of
Starting point is 01:07:27 guys have done it but to me I just wasn't expected I it was stupid to do it but you know I did it you know Jimmy Fallon and Seth my all the guys the whole cast we were just raging till about 530 in the morning and then I got home probably about 545 six just facial on the bed and my son wakes me up two hours later, Dad, I'm hungry. I'm like, go get grandpa to make you something. Give me a couple more hours of sleep and he's like persistent no. So I got up, started drinking coffee and then that shit happened. Yeah, it was incredible. Well, after goes out, did you ever think, because if it were me and I just pitched a perfect game after I was you know maybe half drunk, maybe still hung
Starting point is 01:08:10 over, I would get in my own head and say I have to do this every single game from now on. You think I didn't? Not to that extent, but you know I usually went out the night before I pitched, you know low-key just you know have a couple pops and I'd get too annihilated and just, but because for me the next day I just, I was relaxed. Yeah. I was in all, cause you know, a lot of guys get butterflies and I still got butterflies before every game,
Starting point is 01:08:36 but once you couple pitches into it, you're good to go and then you just get into your rhythm. Yeah. But not all the time it works and all that. So it's like, what do you do? You're going to have good games, you're going to have bad games. I don't care the guys who don't drink. They have bad days too.
Starting point is 01:08:56 Yeah, I was looking for my water, but I'll take a Coors Light. There we go. Ice cold. We'll all crack open a Coors Light. It ain't that ice cold. Yeah. All right. So the perfect game. Two other things I door. It ain't that ice cold. Yeah. All right, so the Perfect Game, two other things I had about that was.
Starting point is 01:09:06 Cheers gentlemen. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. This is going exactly how I expected when David Wells, the legend is on. I heard you say that the bullpen, which you took very seriously throughout your career,
Starting point is 01:09:20 and your warmups before the game were horrendous for that. So what are you thinking in your head when you're throwing warm-ups before your perfect game? Are you like this is going to be such a shitty day? Well, if my bullpens were good, I was scared if they were shitty I was okay with it because you can't go any he can't get any worse, right? So you don't know what to expect but But because for me, then I would just try to psych myself out. I would throw like some pitches like really bad towards the end of my warmup and start dropping the f-bombs and getting pissed off. And, you know, Milt Stoudemire
Starting point is 01:09:57 is looking at me and go, what's wrong with you? You all right? No, man, you see those pitches right there? But I'm not going to tell him, you know, it's just my own thing. It's just, I get in my own head. And that's what I did because my pulp pins were just so good and perfect. You know, to me it was like, it's scary because you can go in there and just, and get caught up in it and not really know, you know, you see the guy in front of you, you got a face and you groove him when it goes a long way. So you just got just gotta that just worked for me. That was my mindset Yeah, so and then during the perfect game at what point were you like this is happening like this is this fifth inning Yeah, yeah, you were like, oh shit like this could happen. Well, I walked into the clubhouse. I always walked up and got water
Starting point is 01:10:41 I just I was very superstitious. So I You know with one out I'd run and get a water and then come back down. I went into the lounge and I heard Michael K and John Sterling, you know, David Wells got a perfect game. I'm like, la la la la la fucking ran out and I'm like, got to the bench and then I spit on the first step, second step, third step, got to spit on those. And there's times I had cotton mouth, I couldn't get shit out of them. When fucking feathers were coming out, you know, I was like, I ate a chicken, a whole chicken.
Starting point is 01:11:13 And, but yeah, to me, it was just a very superstitious thing for me to do. And then, and I just, you know, I did that. So I just, I just tried to stay, cause I remember going and sitting next to Tino and he got up and walked away yeah I was gonna say everyone leave you alone yeah I was very eerie yeah very very eerie and you know but I knew what they were doing because they don't want to be the ones to you know to
Starting point is 01:11:34 jinx you and all that kind of stuff but yeah so I remember was the eighth inning going out for the eighth inning and David Cohn comes up to me and he goes hey break out that knuckleball. I go what? He goes throw the knuckleball. I go I don't throw a knuckleball. He goes yeah do I play catch with you every day? Throw that knuckleball. I go are you out of your fucking mind dude? I'm not throwing no knuckleball. I knew what he was doing. Not right away but then when I was walking out to the mound I I'm like, hmm, he's just trying to get my mind off of what's going on. Very genius move on his part.
Starting point is 01:12:10 Yeah, so that is genius. And he obviously then threw a perfect game. He come next year. Yeah, the next year. And did you have anything like that for him? No, I got traded. Oh yeah, that's right. I got traded the first day of spring training.
Starting point is 01:12:22 You bounced around to so many teams. Was there ever a moment in your career where you were like, man, I kind of wish I could just stay at one of these places? I think I was meant to be on a bunch of teams. I, you know what, I just had a lot of, I had a hard time with authority. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:38 You know, I spoke my mind, I think too much, but you know, that's just the way I was. It worked for me, but you know, I want to win. It worked for me, but I wanna win. I wanna make the guys around me better. I want my teammates to do what they're supposed to do. I didn't set a very good example by going out, but if I didn't come and do my job to the park every day, or every five days and do my job well,
Starting point is 01:13:00 then yeah, then I would expect them to come and get in my face and have an intervention with me or something. But, but it was just it was like, you know, I just wanted to win and, and I just did not like authority, I guess I'm a grown ass man. So I got to tell me, I got two questions about the authority thing. One, how much of that is because of your upbringing with your mom, who was by everything I've read an absolute badass, she was in the Hells Angel
Starting point is 01:13:26 she was she was a She was you know a woman I guess her boyfriend. So yeah, she was an old lady as they would say Yeah, but how was that like your mom like that's kind of the coolest thing ever be like, yeah My mom was a Hells Angel, you know to me as a kid. You don't really really cuz you're around these guys was a Hells Angel. You know, to me as a kid, you don't really really because you're around these guys every day, you know, especially on the weekends, you know, when the parties at your house, right in our apartment, but the apartment complex that we lived in, there was two on the on the on the same block.
Starting point is 01:13:58 But we were the bigger one, the other one was a little smaller, and they had a big courtyard in the middle. And it was just, it was on and it was cool because you'd have you know 150 200 motorcycles around your whole block people were scared of you yeah I was gonna say no one messed with you I'm sure a shit-talking punk little kid you mess with me my mom's boyfriend is gonna beat your ass you know do all that so I got away with a lot of shit yeah but but no my mom was she that was just her lifestyle. And, you know, work for her and but she always told me she goes, don't
Starting point is 01:14:30 take any shit from anybody. Speak your mind and persevere. Yeah. And that's, and I remember that as a little kid. And I took that in to my life and it worked. Yeah. So the second question about authority is, I heard a story that you tried to, or maybe didn't try, but you told George Steinbrenner that you're going to beat his ass. Oh, yeah. So can you tell us that story?
Starting point is 01:14:51 Because I would imagine a lot of guys on the Yankees didn't do that because he was the boss. Yeah, well, it was an interleague game. We were playing the Expos, and Pedro and I were going toe to toe. And I think there was the third or fourth inning Darren Fletcher hit a home run but the year before 96 when I was with Baltimore and Jeffrey Merrick kid you know leaned over and he did that because Tony Tarasco was
Starting point is 01:15:19 under camping underneath and he just reached out and Richie Garcia called it a home run which was bullshit. Yep. And so I brought that up because same thing happened to me. Kid or not a kid, some guy leaned over and Tony was right and Paul O'Neill was right underneath it and Paul was pissed, he's screaming and they called it a home run. So I think I went eight innings. And then when I went in, George Steinbrenner was sitting right next to my locker. But there was a picnic table in front of my locker and with Nick Peori, who was our clubhouse manager. And they were talking, I come in, I said, hey, George, I said, I said, you gotta do something with that fence.
Starting point is 01:16:01 I said, it worked for you last year, it didn't work today. We're losing, I think, at time, I think, three to one. And he's like, he just looks at me and he goes, he goes, you ain't the pitcher I signed. I go, excuse me? He goes, you ain't the pitcher I signed? I go, well, if you don't fucking like me, why don't you trade me?
Starting point is 01:16:18 He goes, I tried, nobody wants you. That pissed me off. So I was just like, I was like, oh boy, here we go. So he just kind of looked at me. I said, If you don't like me, get fucking rid of me. I said, if you don't want me, I don't care. I said, This is my dream to play for you. But now if you're going to be a dickhead and then fuck off. I don't want to be no part of it. Yeah. You know, and I said, as a matter of fact, I'm gonna go get ice on my shoulder
Starting point is 01:16:43 and my back and my knee. And I said, when I come fact, I'm gonna go get ice on my shoulder and my back and my knee and I said and when I come back I said if you're here I said I'm gonna beat the shit out of you. And he gets up he gets right in my face and he's like I'm not afraid of you. I go we'll find out in a few minutes. I went in there and I put ice elbow shoulder back knee and I come out and he's sitting right there and I go son of a bitch. I go you still here you motherfucker? I start ripping shit off of me. He got up out the door he went. I just I chased and strawberry was hiding behind a pillow. Wow this guy's fucking out of his mind. He's like crazy. Oh man. He went out and then you know I felt really bad about it but you but it is what it is.
Starting point is 01:17:25 I was hot and you stay stuffed when you're pissed off. So like two days later during the game, I'm walking up into the clubhouse and the phone rings right outside of Torrey's office. And I pick it up and I go, Yankee Stadium, second base, can I help you? He goes, who is this? And I knew right who it was. I go, you called me, who's this? He goes, who is this? And I knew right who it was. I go, you called me, who's this? He goes, this is George Steinbrenner, God damn it.
Starting point is 01:17:49 And I said, hey, George, it's Boomer. I go, hey, I just want to apologize for the other day. I should have not done that. That was not cool. So I really, really feel bad. And I go, I apologize. He goes, you wait right there. And he came down from his office.
Starting point is 01:18:05 He came down and we went in Joe's office and we hash it out. He gives me a big old hug, kiss on the cheek. He goes, you're my guy. I like that. But I think that's, you had to do that. You had to challenge him. Because if he had you, you're done.
Starting point is 01:18:18 Well, everybody that he deals with in his day-to-day life just rolls over for him. Yeah. So if you are a guy that stands up, he'll probably respect that. So I told everybody, fucking talk shit to him. Get in his face, do that over for him. Yeah. So if you are a guy that stands up, he'll probably respect that. So I told everybody, fuck it, fuck shit, challenge him, do all that. But no, did anyone else do that? I don't know. I don't think so. Yeah. You know, at least you give them a little bit of
Starting point is 01:18:36 advice. Yeah, yeah. You don't want to get rolled over. It's like, you know, the same crap happened to me in Toronto. You know, the front office always, always messed with me. And I think that's why I became a really bad boy of baseball because of the fact that they treated me like shit. And it was like, they were always worried about my, if I was, I was 195 and they wanted me to be 185.
Starting point is 01:19:01 I'm like, I'm already skinny, I'm 6'4", I'm skinny as hell. I go, no. And then I have 205, they want me to be 200. So they'd find me $100 a day. And I didn't have $100 to pay. I was low man on the total and pulling on that payroll. So it just, it really sucked. So Pat Gillick and Gord Ash were always messing with me.
Starting point is 01:19:21 And finally one day I just said fuck you guys I said I want to be a starter or a reliever I'm not doing both right said I'll be happy to do one or the other because when Dave Steve went down I spot start I won 15 games right and then he comes back I go right to the bullpen right so I was just like whatever so yeah so I just I went out and then they released me and in that probably like that Toronto the start of your career probably set the tone a little bit for why you got traded for the rest of my yeah for the Rest your career, but it also is why you were able to survive being like hey, I know I can do this Yeah, like fuck off. Yeah, that's why everybody wanted me in the playoffs. Yeah. Yeah, I was a big game pitcher
Starting point is 01:19:57 So you give me the ball. I'm not afraid What is it about a big game pitcher because there's something special about it like a big ball sports? Yeah, no, but like watching like, you know, there's been a ton of guys throughout history. But like even I'm thinking like more recently, like a John Lesser or a Massen-Bumgarner where it's like, it doesn't matter what their season look like. If they have to win a game, they're going to win a game. Andy Pettit's probably the best big game pitcher I've ever seen in my career. He just, that guy, just, he knew how to win.
Starting point is 01:20:28 Kurt Schilling's another guy. He stepped up to the plate in big games and that's where you wanna be. You wanna be on the biggest stage and take authority and walk off that in the ninth inning with a, you know, bad ass with your chest out and just, here you go, everybody. Yeah, that's what I just did to your team. Yeah, that's what you want. That's the mentality that you
Starting point is 01:20:49 want. You know, a lot of guys are going third or fourth inning, looking in the dugout going, come get me. Right? You know, that's just not how it is. There's guys that that just step up and there's guys that don't. So you're talking about the butterflies earlier, like would you you would still get those butterflies before a big game? Yes, lean into them. Yeah, how would you make? How do you make those butterflies your friend? You just you just go out there and make your pitches. I knew I could I could throw I could hit a Nats ass at 60 feet, six inches, nine out of 10 times, I had good control. Yeah, I can
Starting point is 01:21:19 have control with every pitch. So I threw strikes. So you just try to make your pitches know what guys can beat you, you know, and, and pitch to your strength. I know I didn't look at the, at the, at the, uh, scouting reports, you know, I would do it from time to time just to appease somebody, but I already knew what I was doing. I pitched to my strengths, not what some scouting report tells me to do. You know, if it's somebody I don't know that just got called up, then I'll go look at it, just to see what their scouting report is.
Starting point is 01:21:51 But to me, it was still, I just pitched to my strengths. What about your catchers? When your catchers are calling a game, are you a guy that would shake off a lot of signs if they knew what you wanted to throw? Nope, I made sure they knew what I threw in every count in the pitch. Every pitch in the count, excuse me. So to me, they had to think with me because I hated to shake off. Now if I had a scuffed ball, then they put number two down.
Starting point is 01:22:18 I'm like, no, no, no, no, we're going number one because I can make that ball move that much inside and out. So I'd rather do that and not speed up their bat when they're looking for something off speed. Yeah. But yeah, cause I would, if you get a scuffed ball, I remember early in my career, I get scuffed balls, I'd throw them back.
Starting point is 01:22:34 Yeah. What a dumb ass I was. I didn't know, I was just green behind the ears. Yeah. Then I got a little older and, you know, talked to the veteran guys and they tell you, and then you start working with them. It's like, oh my God, now they throw every ball out yeah yeah it's
Starting point is 01:22:48 it's it's crazy if it hits the dirt yeah it's out so you're pitching in you know the 90s early 2000s height of the steroid era did you know at the time you're like these guys are juicing and like they're guys were doing them right and what guys weren't right and you know it's just, I look back now, I go, fuck, I wish I would have done them. Yeah. To be honest with you. That's an honest answer.
Starting point is 01:23:11 I wish I would have, because I don't think I would have, I think I would have gained velocity. You know, I think in that aspect, so with my ability to throw strikes, I think it would have made me a lot better. You know, I think injuries, you know, these little aches and pains you get, the dead arm period and stuff like that that you get. So it's like, that might've been a big difference for me.
Starting point is 01:23:35 But no, I never did them. So, but to me it sucks that the guys that did them that didn't need to do them. And I guess I would say allegedly they did, but we all know what guys did them that didn't need to do them. Yeah. And, you know, I guess, so I guess I'd say allegedly they did, but, you know, we all know what guys did them. And so to me, but you know, that that's just a thing. So, you know, I look at it in my situation, I pitched in a steroid era and I could have probably had, you know, 15, 20 more wins because of it.
Starting point is 01:24:05 So that puts me at- Close to 300, right? Well, no, I had 239, so 260, 270. But if the Blue Jays would have left me a starter my whole career, that's why I wish I always played for the Braves, because they always brought their guys up and they just let them go, and that's how they learned. And that's why they were very good staff all those years.
Starting point is 01:24:26 And so if you take 10 wins, if you just take 10 wins a year for those six years, they stuck me in the bullpen, that's 60 wins. That's 300. Now you're getting 300, yeah. I'm in the Hall of Fame. Yeah, that's true. So was there ever a moment or maybe a home run
Starting point is 01:24:42 or a moment in a game where you're like, fuck, this is crazy what these guys are doing? I mean, when a guy that normally doesn or maybe a home run or a moment in a game where you're like, fuck, this is crazy what these guys are doing. I mean, when a guy that normally doesn't hit a hormone off you and he's going 20 rows deep oppo, that pisses you off. Yeah. Because you know they're doing it and you know, it's just you see their bodies change and it's just like, okay, here we go. You got to make your pitches.
Starting point is 01:25:03 But even that pitch that you normally get them out on, they're so strong now. It's just like, great. But it is what it is. And do I think those guys should be in the Hall of Fame? No, because I didn't do them. They don't belong in it. And there's guys that think that they should.
Starting point is 01:25:19 And I call bullshit on that because it shouldn't be that situation. And here's a case with Andy Pettit and When him and Roger would I guess Roger gave it to him or whatever it was Whoever their trainer was at the time and Andy was hurt. So he I think he did I don't know I don't know what it was That he did. I think it was the cream maybe but whatever he did. He was doing it to take to get to come back faster, you know, whatever it was and I think if it was under a doctor's supervision
Starting point is 01:25:54 from guys that got injured and if it's a healing process and it gets him over them and they get some back on the field that I would be fine with that. I think that would be that would be okay but it would have to be obviously would have to go as a league rule and then doc the doctors the team doctors and it's documented Then sure why wouldn't you do that and then let him in the hall because Andy Pettit He's a Hall of Famer in my eyes, but you know that one little mishap might screw him for the rest of his life But so you're a baseball historian like you Like, you collect a bunch of stuff. The game that you wore, Babe Ruth's hat was pretty awesome. Don't you think it's crazy, though, that Barry Bonds is not
Starting point is 01:26:33 in the Hall of Fame? He's one of, if not the best baseball player of all time. And you can go through the history of baseball. Like, there's all these guys that pre-1950s didn't play against black players. They didn't play like the best competition. So you don't think that's crazy that they shouldn't, they should be in the hall of fame. Well, you gotta tell the history of the game, good or bad. Well, sure. But the thing is if they did steroids and they are linked to them, so it's like,
Starting point is 01:26:59 you know, I don't know. And I like both, they're both great guys. Yeah, they're both great guys. But you know, to me, when you're linked to it, and everybody knows, then it's like, you know, it's, it's, you know, I don't know about the committee, what the committee's thinking, but it's the writers, and eventually, they're probably going to get as the writers will get younger, and they'll realize, well, yeah, but they're, they're a lot of stupid ass writers that don't need to be be writing and they should not have a vote
Starting point is 01:27:26 Yeah, the voting process for baseball is stupid. It's crazy. You do not get a hundred percent Well, and that's the thing because there's one guy Yeah, I forgot is and this is the BS part of it All is that everything secretive to them and they keep going to Derek and Derek has to answer all these questions and Derek's like Why don't you go to the guy who didn't vote for me, But they're saying, well, we don't know who it is. Well, they hide behind their pencil, they behind it. And that's BS, they're a bunch of, I mean, we call them pussies.
Starting point is 01:27:52 Yeah, yeah, you say pussies. All day long, and maybe a few others because they're such afraid of their own shadow but they can sit there and write BS about you, your whole career and they not like you. So they're not going to vote for you. But that one guy from what I hear doesn't like to vote for guys their first year. Yeah. It's ridiculous. Exactly. But then keeping some idea of baseball perfection
Starting point is 01:28:16 doesn't exist. Yeah. Rivera was another one where it's like he got the great. He didn't get 100%. He didn't get 100. Right. I don't think he did. He got 100. I think he got 100. I think he was the only one that got don't think he did he get a hundred I think you got a hundred But yeah, he might have been the only one but like that's one where it's either same way he's a stud You know a lot of these guys I mean that that has been had to wait and wait our wait a year and then they get in the next year Put him in the same thing happened to Roberto Alomar Rivera got a hundred. All right Yeah, so like he was the only one.
Starting point is 01:28:45 Yeah. He, I think he had to wait a year and then he got in, he was a stud. Right. One of the best players I've ever seen. Best, best infielder I've ever seen. Ken Griffey Jr. probably the best outfielder I've ever seen. Yeah. But there's a couple guys behind him that were just as good. Yeah. But, but yeah, you see guys like that, but they didn't get caught doing anything. To me, it's like, how do you not put Bernie Williams in the Hall of Fame? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:29:12 How do you not put Kenny Lofton in the Hall of Fame? They had great numbers. They have Hall of Fame numbers. That's why you got a douchebag, what's it, the commissioner. Yeah, commissioner, yeah. Rob Manfred. I just I think he hates baseball. So he's just screwing it up while his tenure is still going. Yeah, he's gonna see how much he could fuck it up. So we were a guy out of a guy they had a they
Starting point is 01:29:36 should have booted him years ago. What don't you like about today's game? Everything. Okay. I like that. Whenever I asked, I don't watch baseball anymore. Seriously, I haven't watched it in five years. Have you seen the bigger bases though? The only time I watched baseball is my buddy Chuck down in San Diego, cause he's a big Padre fan and I've gone to maybe two games in five years. So I can't, I lied. I've watched two games in five years. Do you have the card that gets you into every game? Yes. That is one of the coolest things. So can you explain it that when you retire 10 years you 10 if you play 10 years in the big leagues, you get a gold card that you can
Starting point is 01:30:09 walk up to any stadium at any time and you get walked right in. You get two of the best tickets available. That's that's awesome. That's very cool. Yeah, but you just don't you can I have users? Can we have it? You gotta find my kids? Kids want it. Do they use it? They've used it before. Yeah. You get like snacks and drinks with that or just tickets? No, just tickets. That's so cool though. Just be able to walk up They want to go to a game. Okay. Well, you know how much tickets are nowadays so far that they're ahead of the game Yeah, what would you do to fix baseball? I
Starting point is 01:30:38 Would get rid of the clock. Okay, I get every analytic guy out of there fire All the nerds all the nerds drop them off in the middle of the lake and let them swim in. Kill all the nerds. All right. You know, they're because here's the thing. They're, they're, they're the guys that are making all, all the, uh, all the calls and everything and giving it to the, you know, to the GMs or whatever. And then they're going off of that.
Starting point is 01:31:02 It's like all that shit has been there since day one of baseball It just took a couple cronies to go back there crunch numbers Billy being one of them You know and with the money ball, but it's just a lot There's some validity to a lot of it, but a computer doesn't tell you it doesn't have a heartbeat So it doesn't do that you throw You if you throw over first base the third time he gets to go to second. Okay, what part of that don't I get guy on second and extra ratings because they want to speed the game up. You don't want to go to the fucking game for nine innings. Get
Starting point is 01:31:34 the hell out. Yeah, cares. Yeah, that's up to you. Don't try to speed the game up the game. The integrity of the game is what it was. Would you ever try to throw like pick off pitches to first base just to piss off the fans when they started to boo you? You know what? Sparky Anderson was the man doing that. He would have you throw over six times in a row. Fans are booing like crazy, especially in the visiting one. He would do it, but there's a reason for that because they want to see, they want to try
Starting point is 01:32:02 to see if the play up their hand, if he's going to turn around and bunt, try to get the guy over. Right. So there's reasons for all that stuff. Right. You know, but now these kids nowadays, they don't have to think for themselves because they got these analytic guys that are doing all the thinking for them. And it's like, learn how to play ball and grow a sack. Let's go.
Starting point is 01:32:20 I like that. I like that. Bring back small ball, steal some bases. Yeah. I mean, you't see it anymore. You can see it in today's game. I know they've made a lot of rule changes, some good, some bad, but the batting averages are down so insanely where no one's hitting over 300. And it's like the action of the game, that's what people want to see. And I know that I actually agree with like banning the shift, because I did think the shift like that just became ridiculous when a guy would hit
Starting point is 01:32:49 know what that guy needs to make an adjustment. Okay, all right, make the adjustment. I'm not I had no problem with that. It used to piss me off because it needed hit the other way hit it down. Did I like it? No, but I don't think they should have took it out. I mean, the hitters are good enough. You got to give them credit because they know how to hit bad pitches. You know, you don't need an analytics guy to tell you, you know, this is that. They just learn it.
Starting point is 01:33:12 Robin Young, guys like that, Paul Molliner, you know, George Brett, all these guys that, you know, were pure hitters, Hall of Fame hitters, they figured it out. Dave Winfield, all these guys. You go down the line from the 60s, 70s, or the 70s, 80s and 90s, 2000, then before the analytics, these guys learn how to hit. They pay attention. All you got to do is pay attention. I watched the hitters. They watch us. Tony Gwynn. Yeah. You know, the pity Wade Boggs, Don Mattingly. Did you ever go out with Wade Boggs? Oh, yeah How who would who would in the night? He would I would in the night you doubt Drake Wade not in beers. Yeah
Starting point is 01:33:53 Story goes when he drinks 70 beers on a cross-country trip one time Some like that. I've seen it. Yeah. Yeah, I've seen it. So and not get up to pee once She was like it was like six more impressive six years in the clubhouse after the game, right? And then he'd have another six pack on the bus. A lot of guys would do that, but he was the king. Yeah, you know, but you know what? It worked for him. Yeah, he's there at the he's there the next day early.
Starting point is 01:34:17 First guy there hitting his chicken is working, eating his chicken, whatever it may be. And Wade was awesome. Yeah, it seems like a very cool hang. You mentioned Roger Clemens earlier and then that that reminded me you obviously have had run-ins with every manager that you've that you've been involved with. Roger Clemens managed you for a day. He did. We were in Maine a couple about a month ago, three weeks ago at a tournament and we were we were golfing. It was Ben Higgins, Roger and I, and we were playing and Roger brought that up,
Starting point is 01:34:48 I go, because when I looked up, I'm like, what the hell are you doing out here? But Torrey gave him manager of the day, because he was, I don't know if it was towards the end of, it was, I guess, a veteran status. It was a great gesture on Joe's part to do that, but it was, I didn't expect it. And he comes out there, I'm like,
Starting point is 01:35:09 "'Cause normally I don't wanna come out of a game." But it was pretty cool. Roger, let me tell you, Roger's one of the funniest dudes you'll ever meet. His isms, excuse me, his isms, and he's got a lot of one-liners. He'd keep you on your toes Yeah, yeah, we had battles and all that over the years. We talked a lot of crap to one another, you know over the years
Starting point is 01:35:33 But I'll tell you he's he's just he's down there. He's a good guy I would think that if he was trying to take you out of a game though You'd be like get the fuck back in the dugout Roger. Trust me. I think I said that But he's a bigger boy than me. so I'm not gonna give him too much. Yeah talking about old-school baseball when you're if a teammate of yours got hit were you kind of excited like I'm gonna I'm gonna. You don't want to hit anybody you don't want to hit you just protect your teammates. Right. You protect them and you just so my rule of thumb was hit the first guy. Yeah. Big small doesn't matter you hit the first guy and just
Starting point is 01:36:04 try to you know squash, squash it. And I remember in Toronto, Doug Litton hit like three or four guys. And I'm like, well, my rule of thumb, and first guy up, Albert Bell. Oh, no. I said, you know what piss on it and first pitch smoked them. He just dropped the bat and stared at me. I'm like, Oh, boy, that's scary. I go, it's on. Yeah on it. And first pitch, smoked him. He just dropped the bat and stared at me. I'm like, oh boy.
Starting point is 01:36:26 That's scary. I go, it's on. Yeah. It's coming. He just, he walked all the way to first base and stared at me the whole time. And so obviously, thank God I was a lefty. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:36:36 Cause I got him right here in my sight. And I'm like doing, I think like two pitches later, double play. Yeah. So it was, he, he wasn't a very fast runner, but then he's walked, he's got to come by the mound. I'm just kind of I stepped away from the mound, just to see what he was gonna do. And I watched him walk all the way into the
Starting point is 01:36:51 dugout. And he went over to dug lint and grabbed him by his throat just started shaking. I was like, that's a man that knows baseball. He knows that guy. Yeah, I remember that clip. I didn't I didn't remember the reason why he grabbed his teammate by the throat because they were talking about that. Yeah, he just had bad, you know, temper. Well, no, he just had antics from like he'll run like 20 yards past, you know, ground ball, he'll run
Starting point is 01:37:18 20 yards past first base and then off with the helmet, leave it there and make the first base. Yeah, that kind of there's a like Halloween. Yeah, well, he got he got mad. No, he got bad. This is in Baltimore. There's a lot of punks out there. He got mad because um, no, it wasn't it wasn't. He got mad because some kids egged his house. Yeah. And then I think he chased him like on a bike.
Starting point is 01:37:38 Which is scary. Yeah. Oh, I've done that. Have you? I've done that kids egging and toilet paper. Oh, hell yeah. What do you say to when you had a catcher? My wife bought me a pitcher and a catcher big bronze in the front yard. She bought that from me years ago and the Halloween kids took it and they took it like three blocks away and put them in somebody else's yard. I found out who are the kids was he scared the daylights out of them. You chase them down. I chased them down but I didn't get them they them down. I chased them down. But I didn't
Starting point is 01:38:06 get them. They peeled off and I chased the wrong kids because I didn't know because they had golf carts and they had our thing. Yeah, I did get some of the kids that were there and and they were scared shitless but they're little kids. But you grab them and you just like, you know, I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna beat your ass and all that. But then we found out who it was and went over there and you just have a Talking say you know what I see you on my property again. I'm gonna shoot you. Yeah. Yeah
Starting point is 01:38:34 Getting I won by David Wells not something I would shoot a little kid. Okay, but like Yeah, he's 18 or over. You're gonna get your ass Nowadays you shoot him because our whole world's going to shit But back in any you just beat the shit out of it There me I got my ass kicked plenty of times so back at you One time Albert Bell got hit by a pitch and then he told the umpire didn't hit him because he wanted to stay in the box and try to hit him run One of the all-time moments Smart guy, a lot of guys did that, didn't hit me Was there any hitter that you, I don't want to say you were afraid of because you obviously I don't think you're the kind of guy They're afraid of anybody afraid of anyone, but was there a hitter that you respected or had your number move on yeah
Starting point is 01:39:11 Mo von race one of a bitch. I couldn't get him out so I finally told him I said mo I love you, buddy, but you know if there's anybody on I'm just gonna hit you Goes why is that cuz I can't get you out. I in your liability on first base you can't run for shit so you know advantage me yeah and but yeah I think he had like eight or nine home runs off me career oh I'm like I just tip my cap and he would turn on a pitch I try to take him out and get him drunk he could drink yeah didn't we didn't care he was in that lineup the next day. Who is the most underrated player you played with or against that you're like he deserves
Starting point is 01:39:49 more credit? Oh my God. Sheesh. I mean, Paul O'Neill, you know, he, he had a time. I think he was, I used to love sitting at the end of the bench and he just beat the shit out of that water bottle water jug I just sit there and get a laugh out of it but he I mean he had him he made a good name for himself but I think he's he's got good numbers yeah and all that stuff but yeah he was he's
Starting point is 01:40:22 a stud but there I mean there's so many guys. I just You know played with so many guys. Yeah, I did 21 years and 19. There's a lot of guys. Yeah, you know that played a lot You know a lot of guys. There was just a lot of gamers. I mean What to me? It's just hard to pick them all out. Yeah, what was your favorite? City you played for not counting the Yankees because I know obviously, you know, you loved Babe Ruth and well San Diego because I'm from San Diego I got to play there but you know believe it or not you know because of the greatest manager of all time Sparky Anderson I love Detroit yeah but to me it was just playing for that guy and just getting the knowledge that he gives you. You know, he helped me tremendously. Yeah. Yeah, what was different about him
Starting point is 01:41:06 than every other manager that you had? Cared for, he cared about you. He wanted you to succeed, but he's just so wise and his wisdom. And he would just tell you, we'd sit, come here and sit next to me. And he'd just say, watch these hitters and all that. And he just explained stuff to you,
Starting point is 01:41:22 but he would do it with everybody on the team. Joe Torre, it was that circle of trust and we were way the hell up here. We weren't even close. He didn't treat everybody the same. Cito Gaston, I hated him as a manager. I love him as a person, but we never saw eye to eye. We got into it, but I didn't think he treated
Starting point is 01:41:45 everybody fair. You know, there's a few managers that didn't. Jim Fragosi was a great manager. He was a player's manager. But you know, Bruce Boach, he was great. You know, a lot of good managers, but there's just some that just didn't really, I wouldn't I don't think I could have played for Tony LaRusso. Because he was kind of of the same way could have partied with him. What's that could have partied with? Yeah, I probably wouldn't have though But you know, I respected him as a man a lot of guys liked him But I wasn't a big fan just watching him and hearing all the horror stories about it So but you know, he's he's a legend. Yeah, he did a lot of good things for the game of baseball. What about umpires? Did you get along with some of them? Very few.
Starting point is 01:42:29 Yeah, but some but I hated the rest of them. Who was your most hated? Al Clark. Okay, douchebag of all time. He was terrible. Kenny Kaiser. He was he was a tough son of a bitch. I got in a few altercations with him. Do you ever try to make nice with him? Just like smooth things over? See if that right to you tried to Tim McClellan, the guy who called my perfect game. He was terrible. Terrible. Terrible. But that day he was good. Yeah, he had no choice. I was good too. What about Joe West? You ever get in? Cowboy Joe? He was I just he's one of every kind of intimidated me because really? Yeah, because you just do that. And he just was like, you know, I run into
Starting point is 01:43:16 Joe from time to time. And, you know, I just just keep your mouth shut because you're not gonna last long with Joe. And he's a big boy. That's the one man that you're afraid of is Joe West. You flipped the script on you. A little bit. Yeah, a bit. But you know, I respected him. But he just, you know what, for me, I threw strikes. So with these umpires, they changed their strike zone late in the game. And that was a strike early in the game. And then it's not
Starting point is 01:43:40 that's where I had the problem. Right. What do you think about robot umps? No, I think because you know,, if you look back and you look at replay, they get it right, like high percentage of the time they do get it right. But they do get it wrong. And that's what I think replay should, you know, comes in. You know, they do that. But to me, it's, you know, as much as I hate umpires, I would say, yeah, but I think it just takes the integrity away from the game.
Starting point is 01:44:09 Human element. Yeah. Was there, what's the meanest thing you said to an ump that got you kicked out or a story about getting kicked out of a game? Call them a piece of shit or something like that. That's it? Yeah. I really didn't.
Starting point is 01:44:20 I got kicked out of not a whole lot of games, but a few just, you know, just for just calling them, calling them out, showing them up. And that's one thing that they didn't like. I got kicked out of not a whole lot of games, but a few just, you know, just for just calling them calling them out showing them up. And that's one thing that they didn't like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What about when you were batting when you went up to I hated the bat.
Starting point is 01:44:33 Did you want 123 career, something lower? Who knows? Would you like make an effort going to the box or just be like, I was saying here, like if they call me on some crappy pitches, I'd say well I hope I get those Yeah, well, that's wrong thing to say because then I got happened to me in Miami Sheffield hit a grand slam off me and but before that happened There was a situ it no it was my first at bat and I had pitches I threw for strikes and that was right and then Sheffield hits a grand slam and then I come up and I'm like and then he calls a pitch like that far out and I go wow I go I guess I threw that same pitch to Sheffield and then should have been strike three instead I got a grand slam and I got thrown out of the game.
Starting point is 01:45:24 slam and I got thrown out of the game. I got thrown out but we got rained out so that game didn't count. Oh there you go. And I tell him that all the time. That's perfect. That's one grand slam you'll never get back. That's perfect. Alright so we this has been awesome we got a couple last questions. By the way we are at the American Century Championship like I said. Awesome this is the 35th annual championship of Celebrity Golf and they've raised $8 million for charity. It's an awesome event, a ton of people here. Who do you think, knowing all the golf games, who is the best golfer you've played with
Starting point is 01:45:54 here that has a chance to actually win? I mean, you look at Marty Fish. He's on fire right now. He won in Maine. I always, you know, I love Mark Mulder. He's a stud. He's won it here a few times. He's fun to watch. Is Smolci playing? Smolci is. I talked to Smolci yesterday and he's playing. I go, how are you playing? He goes,
Starting point is 01:46:15 I'm playing really well. But I put, because they're low odds. You try to find someone who's got better odds and you throw a couple hundred bucks. Yeah. You know, you got some good beer money. So, but, but yeah, those, you know, those, those guys right there are, you know, you want to see when, but I like watching the underdogs guys that just come from behind and, you know, get lucky.
Starting point is 01:46:39 Yeah. Marty is just so good. He's just so, and he hits it so far and he's, he's spot on. He's just very seldom as you make a mistake out there. Yeah. Yeah. He's just so and he hits it so far and he's he's spot on he's just very seldom Does he make a mistake out there? Yeah. Yeah, that's the thing. Yeah The other question I had was the trainers you mentioned your weight. Would you ever pay off the trainers? Oh, yeah change your weight damn straight. I did Would you what would you give them? I take care of them. Yeah
Starting point is 01:47:03 Hey, make sure you change that number a little bit. Yeah. Or I would doctor. So the old school scales that you do the bottom and then you do the top. Back here they had a underneath, they had a thing. So I would, so before I'd go weigh ins, I would go in there when they weren't looking, I would hit that son of a bitch and I would put it to like two pounds to the T to where I get on there and they see it and they go
Starting point is 01:47:26 Okay, you're under and then I was doing that. I would just had hit it back Did you ever take like the the diet aspect seriously because I know there was an article that you weren't thrilled about in sports Illustrate at one point that I never did the story. So yeah, so that Jeff guy whoever they wanted did the rocker Yeah, he followed me around for two weeks to only get the hell away from me. He's a douchebag. So I just so no, but that was a story that was blemished, or whatever. But you know, I was a big dude. The reason why I didn't care about my weight or anything, because when we had the strike
Starting point is 01:47:59 in 94, really pissed me off because we had a few of them. That's another that's another 10, 15 wins maybe. Yeah. And I went through what? What, three, four strikes? And to me, it was just the owners didn't care, so I didn't care. So piss on them.
Starting point is 01:48:14 And I actually had benefited me because I got better. I got better. And they're like, you don't look good on the field. I don't give a shit what I look like. What is the result is what you want to look at, not what I look like. I don't have to look good in the field. I don't give a shit what I look like. What is the results? What looks, is what you want to look at. Not what I look like. I don't have to look good in the lobby. It's got to win games. Fat guys win too. You know? That's a good point.
Starting point is 01:48:32 You know, I always tell them I'm fat, you're ugly and I can diet. So have a nice day. You know, you don't run the ball of the plate. So, but I was for big guy, I still filled my position. Yeah. Yeah. So to me, that was something that I didn't care. But then, you know, but as you get older, and I see the reasoning as you get older, your body breaks down and you know, like I said, I need a knee surgery, just had my shoulder down. But that's my I would see my knees and my back for my weight, but not my shoulder. Yeah. I mean, you still played 20 years. Yeah, a lot of pitches. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:49:04 I think the longevity I think speaks for itself. You just had the shoulder done. Do you think you could still dial it up now though? Like how fast? No, I mean, I couldn't break a window from two feet. The last 12 years. I couldn't throw a ball from here to the back of the room and I can throw a ball in the back of the room. But I'm just not 100% still I'm like 60 65 60, 65%. I can get out there and golf and swing it and it's fine. But throwing, to me to throw there, so like on 17 this week, I could go out there and now I could throw a ball back.
Starting point is 01:49:34 For the last five, six years, I just walked down there and I'm getting booed because I can't throw the ball back to him. So now I can throw a football back to him. I can throw a baseball, whatever. And it's, to me, I'm back. Yeah, so now I can throw a football back to him. I can throw baseball, whatever. You know, and it's to me, I'm back. Yeah, that's big time. Thorn it be able to throw it 3040 feet.
Starting point is 01:49:51 yourself down. Let's pencil David Wilson as a dark horse this week. No, yes. Don't do it. Please don't do that. Save your money. No, no. Save your money. Come on. Why not you do there's a bunch of hookers walking down the street. They're pretty hot. Save your money. If you if you win, I will get a hooker. How about that? Well, I hope I don't win. So you don't get what I'm gonna do with the hooker. You can't get it on
Starting point is 01:50:14 your own boy. There's something wrong. I'll just talk to her. She'll be my therapist for an hour. Yeah, I bet. Bet you you don't last an hour. You'll be a three pump chump. They got skills. I can last so long in bed, you don't understand. Why do you think they're there for me? Because they got mad skills. They're professionals. Freshness.
Starting point is 01:50:36 Alright, so I have one last question is rowback question r-h-o-b-a-c-k dot com awesome golf gear, q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, promo code take 20% off your first purchase, go right now. All right, so my last question, you are, thank you, appreciate that. You're a collector of some really cool memorabilia in baseball history.
Starting point is 01:51:00 What's your most prized possession or what's the one thing that you're like, this is the thing I just love looking at? Well, I have a ball here and as Babe Ruth, I got Hank Aaron, I got Barry Bonds to sign it. I'm gonna get Albert Pohols when he's here. Wow. 700 Home Run Club. I wish A-Rod would have got it because then that would have been five guys. Yeah. But four, I thought he was going to get it. It's bummer he didn't.
Starting point is 01:51:27 But to have four 700 home run guys on a ball, it's the only one. That's incredible. It's the only one in existence that I know of. Yeah, I mean, they're not going to make one of those. Nope. I have another baseball that's got Hank Aaron and Babe Ruth on it.
Starting point is 01:51:43 Wow. And those signatures are awesome on it. Yeah, because when when Hank Aaron says, Are you sure you want me to say he's a damn straight I want you. That's incredible. Because it's just cool. I have a bunch of Babe Ruth baseballs, just solo ones. And then Hank Aaron balls I have solo but how pissed was Joe Torrey when he wore the Babe Ruth hat, which is the cool you wore the same hat that Babe Ruth wore in Yankee Stadium to pitch the
Starting point is 01:52:05 first inning so mad he find me $2,500. Why? Why? Tell him a tool and all that? Because he's a tool. No, no, I'm saying why was he mad? It makes no sense. That's what I said. I said, don't don't be so shallow, Joe. If anybody would have respected it, it should have been you right? Yeah, because you're such a big baseball and a and a New York fan Yankee fan. And he did that. He just hated me. So that's the reason why.
Starting point is 01:52:29 Yeah, that seems like something he should have loved. That's the most respectful thing you could do with that hat. As long as he win. If David Cohn wore it, he would have been fine. How'd you do in that inning? I got out of it. As soon as I take it off, I didn't get out of the third inning. Yeah, so you should get me. Yeah. Yeah Well boomer this been awesome man, we love to have any on You you are a legend and appreciate it and go win this tournament this weekend. I'm just gonna go have fun
Starting point is 01:52:57 No, I expect what's your what's your goal for for shooting this weekend for three? Chad 15 points. Okay. Yeah 15 points. Okay, yeah, 15 points. Okay, I'll be happy with 15 points. What does that mean? I in the good. Behind that word Charles Barkley and cable guy and those guys are at Yeah, you know, I want to be in the positive, not the negative. Yeah, so we can make that happen. You can win it. I can I played really well last year. Would you trust me? I believe in myself, but I don't have as many rounds as these other guys do.
Starting point is 01:53:28 Maybe we get some. So now I got full rotation, and I don't know what to do with it. My body's all jacked up. We don't have to include this in the podcast, but what if we got you some steroids? You said you always wish that you'd done them. Yeah, I can take whatever the hell I want now.
Starting point is 01:53:43 What if we got some old Hells Angels guys to just roll up when when your competition is teeing off. So I just go in and just scared of shit out of it. Yeah, just a little rev the engine right. I don't think they would scare anybody. Now. They're all old guys. These guys in their like 70s 80s now. There are mopeds and you have to get the younger generation. Yeah, you got the rascal scooters that they're driving
Starting point is 01:54:03 around. Yeah, the chopper bunch. If you can read this, the bitch fell off. No, this, you know, it's just guys. There's guys out here. They're just so good. Yeah, I saw Adam. I keep saying theson. Adam Thielen. Adam Thielen. Great. And he's, he's a sleeper to win wants to win to. Yeah. And I on on the 10th hole today, he hit, he's a sleeper to win. He wants to win too. Yeah. And I on on the 10th hole today, he hit, he hit a little iron and he hit about 300 down the middle. Oh, boy.
Starting point is 01:54:33 And that well exceeds my driver drivers like 250 260. Yeah. So yeah, so you can do it. Well, boomer. I appreciate the coffee. Yeah, thank you so much, man. Yep. We appreciate it David Wells is brought to you by Chevy as everyone knows This is a Chevy truck podcast the greatest trucks ever built and our good friends at Chevrolet have been a big part of part Of my take story from the Silverado helping us dig the biggest hole ever dug in Ohio during grit week To Silverado partnering with us to give college fullbacks all the rightful recognition they deserve with the low man award. They also powered our nonstop cross country trip to the Super Bowl in L. A. Behind the wheel of a Chevy Silverado Silverado has been a part of it
Starting point is 01:55:15 all. We were driving around the Chevy today, did a sick, sick wakeboarding video that's going to come out soon using a Chevy truck to get us there and that's sponsored by Chevy Chevy Silverado long-time awesome partner of the show a truck with commanding unstoppable grit legendary capability and dependability too so find out for yourself like so many other AWLs go to check out all the Chevy truck grit build your own Silverado for do-it-yourself projects road trips off-road adventures tailgates, whatever your thing is, it all starts with a Chevy truck.
Starting point is 01:55:48 Okay, let's finish off with partner take. Who's reading them? I am. All right. You're gonna nail this. Hey, dad cat balding PFT summertime, Hank Loser Max and Jetman memes not balding. I'm bald. Would you rather don't say you can't that's that's that's that's that's a lot of bald people They'd be very upset. I'm not bald yet Would you rather have to get a tattoo of your rival team every time they won a championship? but know your team would win one championship at some point in your lifetime or Have hope every year till getting bounced in the first round of the playoffs and have a too early championship tattoo not paying out
Starting point is 01:56:23 Mmm, I would say getting the tattoo for your rival because who's the commander's biggest rival? The Cowboys? Yeah. So I'm fine with that. Well, could you do it if you could do it anywhere like you just had a Packers tattoo on the bottom of my foot? I think you'd probably and you get one guaranteed Super Bowl? I mean any of these are like hey one guaranteed Super Bowl Yeah, yeah, okay. Cool. What'd you say? You get backup championships Yeah
Starting point is 01:56:59 Yeah, yeah you won backup championship if it was be New York, it's like they haven't they can't even make the playoffs They have 12 teams a fucking state Fuck three down football But the NFL should introduce CFL pre snap motion rules to allow receivers to take running starts Not only when it opened up the game But it would inevitably take us one step closer having a football savant come in with rugby like plays that would change the game forever Okay I like to imagine a QB in shotgun with two backs plus tight ends
Starting point is 01:57:25 and RBs on either side of him, able to run either direction, go lateral madness. Wait. I don't, I can't imagine what he just said. I don't even understand. Also, I think in the CFL, you only can have one guy, right? You can have one guy and I think he gets like five yards. You can't imagine it?
Starting point is 01:57:41 You just can't imagine it? No. Have you ever watched the CFL game? Hank you're thinking of it's just watching a snap and then everyone's moving Yeah, I guess I feel that's what they kind of do that's what they do to Tyree kill does every fucking play No, there's a guy in motion But no the in CFL you can literally run and like run towards the line of scrimmage so you you're like full that's what Tyree Kill does every
Starting point is 01:58:08 time he runs sideways sideways and then you bend it at the last second right got it do you know I'll have to watch I'm a visual again I'm a visual I I like it in theory but it's like so hard for defenses already it's just adding another thing that would suck for them. Yeah, you'd have to give them something. Yeah, you have one defender got a knife. Yeah. Yeah. Then one defender got to be offsides once every four downs. Yeah. Yeah. That would be awesome. Remember when you do that, like in Madden, you just stand next to the kicker to the holder. Yeah. And even though you'd get called offsides, I can block the shit out of it. Actually might be a good idea. If you're allowed to have every receiver in motion, then you have a snap count and you have to snap it on zero. Yeah, so the lineman know exactly when the ball is gonna be snapped. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 01:58:57 Everyone envisions themselves as a pro athlete at some point or time. So if you could choose any moment in sports history to actually live out what would it be and why also go Giants or time is coming. I think I would want to be Jesse Owens and just win gold medals right in Hitler's face. I don't know and then you come back to the US. No you don't really a hero. You didn't let me finish. Oh and I would kill all the people. I would kill Hitler while I was there. Kill Hitler Hitler I would like to be part of the 1980 Olympic team because then you're a legend forever. Yeah guys are all yeah, no one no one knows Jesse Good point. That's pretty damn good No, but like they didn't also have to face like insane amounts of racism and probably live tough
Starting point is 01:59:40 You know, that's a he's a hero but that's like That's a tough tough life. Well, we're I think's a hero. But that's like, that's a tough, tough life. But we're I think we're just talking about the sporting event, right? Yeah. I don't know any moment sports history to actually live out what would it be and why? Yeah, Super Bowl, maybe I'm trying to think what would be me I joke harder walk off home run. That's pretty good in the World Series. But would you do the
Starting point is 02:00:02 same? I would be pretty sick. Would you do the same like skip dance that he did afterwards? No, definitely not. That was kind of weird. Yeah. I would, yeah. Maybe walk off home run to win the world. So that'd be sick. That would be awesome. Actually, I don't want to, I don't want to make this guy. Well, the, the, uh, Joe Carter home run was against Philly's. So I don't want to make Max happy, but Chris Jenkins hitting a three to win March Madness is pretty sick. That's pretty sick. Like any buzzer beater, any final like second
Starting point is 02:00:36 to win a championship is insane. Yep. Linsanity. Yeah. Linsanity. All right, one with this. Was that, was that a dig? No, that's just, that'd be cool. At New York sports culture.
Starting point is 02:00:55 That was a great moment. That was basically a banner. Yeah. Like, yeah, he captured the hearts of the world. Yeah. That'd be fun. Yeah. Yeah. Last one is the celebratory teammate ass slap
Starting point is 02:01:07 disappearing from sports? No. We might have to ask some of the guys this week. I don't think so. I think we need to know from the players that are on the field. We'll ask Blake and Josh. What sports do you think has the highest amount of ass slaps?
Starting point is 02:01:20 I think it's baseball. WNBA. Baseball for sure. Football probably second. But yeah, football. Football is definitely up there. Yeah, football. Baseball. That's how they shake hands. Yeah. Do they ask that? I don't know. Why not? What did they did slapped? Just well, yeah. Just well, do you has there ever been a WNBA player got hurt from that? Probably don't do it. They probably Yeah, they do the side side side. Yeah, like if we
Starting point is 02:01:55 did dick bumps, actually chest bumps might be gone. They no one doesn't straight up chest to chest chest bump. That's not cool anymore. I think baseball's got the most celebrations for everything. Yes, chest bump, ass slap, hands bump. That's not cool anymore. I think baseball's got the most celebrations for everything. Yes. Just bomb ass slap handshake. That's just their day to day lives. Yeah, that's true. Uh, okay. Great show boys. Uh, let's kick it back to ourselves in studio for numbers. Okay. Let's wrap up the show. Numbers eight 20, 19 make you mad that I take 20 max I'm in a position where I'm fucked either way cuz if 56 or 20 show up. Yeah, you really should it doesn't matter Have you ever gotten it max?
Starting point is 02:02:38 three no Shane I've also accepted. I'm just never going to get it. Yeah, that's what I oh shit now that makes me think he's gonna Get it Shane. What are you wearing? Chargers crew neck Oh Shane? I've also accepted that I'm just never going to get it, so that's whatever. Oh, shit. Now that makes me think he's going to get it. Shane, what are you wearing? Charger's crew neck. Oh. Have you made a decision? I have made a decision.
Starting point is 02:02:52 And? I just want to clarify, is it just the Charger's team store, or it can be just the? We can find other stuff. I'm in. OK, let's go. So we'll sit down, you and I. We could maybe do a PMTV. OK.
Starting point is 02:03:04 And we'll just go on a fucking shopping spree yeah And then everything you buy you have to wear at least one of those pieces of clothings on any first date And do I have to like post these pictures anywhere or I would like them for my personal files just text it to you Yeah, you can post it word of advice you got to get something with Taz on it Yeah, has as a charger would be awesome. Taz or Tweety Bird. Okay. Yeah. I mean you're helping me out so.
Starting point is 02:03:28 Okay. Am I? Yeah. You just said we're gonna sit down and do it. You're gonna help me like pick stuff out. Yeah I know but you're still, you still have to go on every first date wearing a charger something. Wait do you think that-
Starting point is 02:03:40 It's not like I haven't done that before. Do you think that Big Hat's gonna be like your stylist here? The way he said that he's like, you're gonna help me out done that before Do you think that big cats gonna be like your stylist here? The way he said that he's like you're gonna help me out. We're gonna sit down. We're gonna Be like I want this shirt. Okay, cool. Yeah big cat wears some nice stuff sometimes I'm always up here always up for some some what about what about a black shirt? What about? Alright Hank. Oh Thank you. Where's a flannel literally you just have been wearing Barstool store stuff every day. Truth.
Starting point is 02:04:08 The truth. Chargers. Hank just wears championship stuff. Barstool store stuff is great, though. Yeah, Barstool store stuff is the best. Barstool are winning a championship. New Coors Light Mountains are blue merch. Love it.
Starting point is 02:04:18 Fantastic. Shane, I have just found an incredible Chargers fedora Okay to one of these days No, what do you mean? No, I mean I you said I get to choose. I'm not going for Doran Why would you go to Dora? I can't class it up. What if you go to like a jazz club? It wouldn't happen. We're about Chargers pants. Yeah, we're not a Boltman costume Full Boltman. I mean we're just moving the goalpost here. This is well you You agree to the deal now you're in my hands buddy, you said where one chargers thing now, it's a full bolt man Yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, we're gonna we're gonna get crazy
Starting point is 02:05:00 What would be the biggest red flag for for Shane show up, like a jersey that a guy shows up for a first date for? On the Chargers, I would think maybe Sean Merriman. I don't know if that's a, I mean, maybe. Maybe a little. If you're wearing a Lights Out jersey to a first date. What about Junior Sayow? And you only talk about Junior Sayow's suicide the whole time?
Starting point is 02:05:19 That shirt I wore out the other night was a Junior Sayow shirt. Had his number on the back. Oh, wow. Oh, that's not as cool of a shirt I thought then. I mean that's disrespectful. It was a cool shirt. Was it? Yeah it was a cool shirt. And also Hank said the other day that I was a double XL I just want to clarify in case the Chargers do send something I'm just an XL. Triple, numbers same again real quick. 19. 3. 8. 56. 21.
Starting point is 02:05:51 72. Love you guys. I don't know what I'm to say I'm sage anyway Today's another day to find you Shine away, I'll be coming for your love, okay Shine away, I'll be coming for your love, okay Take on me Take me on I'll be gone In eternity I'm all the tenants, but I'm being set in this body, so will it awake
Starting point is 02:07:05 Slowly learning that life is okay Say after me It's no better to be safe than sorry Take on me, take me on I'll be gone in a day or two I'm going to go ahead and get started. I'm going to go ahead and get started. I'm going to go ahead and get started. I'm going to go ahead and get started. I'm going to go ahead and get started. I'm going to go ahead and get started. I'm going to go ahead and get started.
Starting point is 02:07:54 I'm going to go ahead and get started. I'm going to go ahead and get started. I'm going to go ahead and get started. I'm going to go ahead and get started. I'm going to go ahead and get started. I'm going to go ahead and get started. I'm going to go ahead and get started. Thank you.

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