Pardon My Take - Drew Brees + The Warriors Are Dead (Probably Not)

Episode Date: April 17, 2019

Patrick Beverly is an instagram commenter reincarnated to take down Kevin Durant. Are the Warriors cracking? (2:27 - 7:11) The Magic went up 2-0, we hope (7:11 - 9:01). Russ Wilson got paid and made a weird video (9:01 - 13:22). NHL Playoffs update, Ovi beat up a kid (13:22 - 15:29). Hot Seat/Cool Throne including bees in porn (15:29 - 31:27). Saints quarterback Drew Brees joins the show to talk about the loss in the NFC Championship game, his favorite parts about Purdue, and what New Orleans means to him (31:27 - 50:58). Segments include Way to stay relevant baseball, Blake Snell injury. PR 101 us because Christian Yelich keeps hitting home runs. Who Farted, Max Kellerman edition, Talking Soccer and guys on dudes. You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, future Hall of Famer, Drew Brees, joins us. We have NBA Playoffs, Russell Wilson just got paid, hot seat, cool throne, and we're trying something a little different. It's guys on dudes, or guys on guys, we're gonna give life advice to a couple guys. Or I don't even know what's gonna happen.

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You're not an award-winning listener unless you do, so go download it. Okay, let's go. Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Today is Wednesday, April 17th, and Patrick Beverly is an Instagram commenter come to life. He is so far inside of Kevin Durant's head, it's awesome to watch. I love Patrick Beverly. Watching that game last night and I accidentally stayed up for the entire thing.

Oh really? I saw the comeback. They were down 31 points. I kind of zoned out and then I was checking Twitter and had the game on in the background and then I saw people tweeting like they're back within 12. Well, it all started with Patrick Beverly taking that offensive foul with 25, they were down 25 in the third quarter, Kevin Durant, Patrick Beverly gets in your shirt, he is inside of Kevin Durant's shirt.

I love the way that he plays defense. The best way I can describe it is he's like if Gary Payton went to Duke. He's like a little pest that swarms around your midsection. He gets lower than you do, which in basketball you wouldn't think means a lot, but according to Seth Greenberg, he said low man wins and so did J. Bayless. So I'm choosing to believe that short people are back in basketball. But he is one of my favorite players to watch on defense. He's like, if you gave a honey badger a dose of LSD and just had it like attack itself

in the mirror for six hours. He never played for the Grizzlies, but he is the Gritt and Grind Grizzlies. He's carrying the torch for the Gritt and Grind Grizzlies. He's Tony Allen, Chicago tough. Those guys, they just will get in your face and not let you up and the fact that he's doing it to Kevin Durant, who is a future future guest, Kevin Durant of this podcast. It is awesome to watch the Warriors crack. Boogie gets hurt.

They blow a 31 point lead. Draymond's mom is we are. Hey, don't let that distract you from the fact that the Warriors blew a three one point lead last night. That's great. That's great. There was a lot of people making that joke. It was great.

It was great to see. So Boogie's mom or sorry, Boogie gets hurt. They blow a 31 point lead. Patrick Beverly gets inside Kevin Durant's head. Draymond's mom retweets people bashing Kevin Durant. The Warriors are breaking. I think you forgot the biggest turning point of the game. And that's when Steph Curry hit that three and that's a, and then he kept saying, I'm

a bad boy. Yeah. I'm a bad boy. But then he got injured. That was a turning point of the game. That is a cold injury hurt. Yes. I'm a bad boy.

That's intimidating as fuck. He's a bad man. No, bad boy. And I want to jump back real quick to that sequence with Patrick Beverly and Kevin Durant. At one point in the game, over the course of about four minutes of real time action, they had like four fouls called on the two of them. Yes. They were just like going back and forth at each other.

Kevin Durant, you can get in his head and his head. Oh, it was gotten into. Well, he did it in the first game too. They got it. They got a, they both got ejected from the game in the first game. Patrick Beverly also doing the thing at the free throw line. Do you see him where he pretends that he's going to fall into the lane? Yeah.

Kevin Durant shoots and he missed the free throw from it. Obviously, the Warriors are still the odds on favorite to win the championship, but this is the sign of a little like, I, I mean, I, I'm of the mindset that Kevin Durant's gone the second the season's over. So just a little bit of, you know, anything that can get in their heads, Patrick Beverly, Draymond's mom, Boogie getting hurt, which actually Boogie getting hurt probably helps the Warriors cause it's like one less crazy guy going crazy. Well, now they got.

Kevin Durant's already there. They got Boogie crazy, crazy in his own way, but it is, uh, let's just say let's put them on alert. It's good thing we didn't make that bet with Hank. Yeah. Now we don't have to do it. That's here. Here the stakes are, uh, we know we'll still do the bet.

The stakes are, we will give you a nice handshake if the Warriors don't win the title. Firm. Firm. The firmest handshake we could possibly give you. Oh, that's sad. Okay. What do you want? What do you want, Hank?

I would like you guys to adopt a turtle. We're going to kill the fucking turtle. Oh, no. I'm not intentionally, but like our track record, yeah, then, then I'm fine with it. Yeah. We'll have a turtle in the office. I'm fine with that. Do turtles give you?

No, that's frogs, warts. Uh, we will adopt turtle and you will shave your beard for an entire month. No, that's a turtle and a beard. You know, we should, we should have a life, a turtle life. We should name the turtle fear. So its name is fear of the turtle. Yes. That's pretty cool.

Shadowed S.V.P. You should have to cut your hair into Mohawk and shave your beard. I will add one thing. You guys see now, by the way, right there, that was the deal. That was out of the deal. You said shave your beard and Hank said, no, I'll shave your beard and Mohawk and you're like, all right, no, but I'll shave my beard. You just got fucking deal, bro.

They can ask to rock a soul patch for a month. A soul patch is a good looking and you can't shave for a month. Well, no, that's. He's doing that. Once the playoff season ends, you have to keep it going for a month, whatever that is. Yeah. You're not going to like looking at it.

All right. Fine. We'll go soul patches and you have to shave your beard. Okay. All right. Two weeks. For two weeks. So it's warriors versus the field.

Warriors versus the field. All right. All right. Deal. Okay. Deal. Handshake. Handshake.

All right. Let's talk about some other stuff. Oh, we are taping before the magic play, but we're just going to assume they won. Oh, they kicked their ass. They beat their ass so bad that Magic Johnson logged on to congratulate his magic counterpart in Orlando. Yes. It's truly a night of magic.

We are the number one magic podcast. I had something in the works. Maybe we're going to get a diehard magic fan on to give us a little something. Wait, so who are the names? What are the names of the magic players that we know now? Michael Carter Williams. Michael Carter. MCW.

Aaron Gordon. Mo Bamba. DJ Augustine. Yeah. We have four. Okay. We have four. We almost have a starting line.

This could be the night that MCW earns his pinstripes. Yes. The other news we have, Russell Wilson just got motherfucking paid and he did the most awkward I just got paid video in bed with Ciara and a shitload of chains, probably post sex, $140 million, $65 million guaranteed, sorry, $65 million signing bonus, $107 million guaranteed It's one of those contracts that's both ridiculous and you have to do it. You do have to do it because he's proven that he's good enough to take your tea. Like the last couple of years, it's basically been Russell Wilson and slash Chris Carson.

That's it. Except when they go into the playoffs and they're like, hey, let's just have Russell Wilson our best player, not throw the ball and keep running for two yards of carry. You have to do it too because there are three quarterbacks in all the NFL that you would give this deal to four years, $140 million. Aaron Rodgers already got it. Russell Wilson just got it. Patrick Malms is the third.

There's not anyone else. Those are the three guys. You can't think of any other guys like Tom Brady, you would not give him a four year deal. Drew Brees, no. Phil Rivers, no. Like Big Ben. I'm also very dumb and I do believe when Tom Brady says that he wants to play for four

more years, I believe him and therefore when I hear that, I think that Drew Brees will try to play just long enough to outlast Tom Brady on the career passing yards. So I wouldn't be surprised if Brees stuck around for four years. But you wouldn't give them four year deals. Probably wouldn't give them four year deals. No. And you wouldn't give them $65 million signing bonus guaranteed. There really are only three guys and those are it.

And the quarterback bubble, well the quarterback bubble will burst soon. You'll see it soon. It's just not going to have it with Russell Wilson. Well the thing is like the quarterbacks I think will turn into starter wives for the rich owners. Right. They'll get to, you know, they'll get year five, the option thrown if they're a first round pick.

And then after that, the owners will just go dipping their work back into college. Well, it's like, let's go get a new one. Right. Especially because college and pro are getting closer and closer and you're hiring college coaches and everyone's running the spread except for the Broncos. The interesting- They don't need to. Yeah, they don't need to.

They do not need to. With the new pass interference rules, I think Joe Flack will be just fine. It's going to be interesting to see what happens with James and Marcus Marriota this year. Right. Now they're not franchise quarterbacks in the traditional sense and the Russell Wilson sense, not even close, but they are the guys that are like, hey, this is now they're going to be free agents.

What do you do? I think Marriota is gone. I don't think that Vrable likes him. Both. He's not a Vrable guy. Arians loves Winston for whatever reason. I don't really know. You know who the Titans also have now, right?

Ryan Tannehill. That's right. Next step. Time for him to make that next step. He will make the next step this year. And Marriota will get hurt. Yes, he will. And if Bruce Arians can make Winston's turnovers 25% less hilarious, got small hands, then

they'll be able to resign. Then they'll feel good about resigning or something. But right now, as it stands, he is just so goddamn funny when he turns the ball over that you can't justify giving him that contract. I agree. I agree. All right. So that's Russ Wilson.

Again, one of the weirdest videos. Like he is, that's, you know who that Russ Wilson is. So the video was NC State Russ Wilson. The guy who got the money. That's Wisconsin Russ Wilson. Okay. I like to separate them in my brain. Yeah.

I just want to say it would be a wonderful time to open up like a Tommy Bahama or a gap store in Russell Wilson's neighborhood because you're about to get a fucking come up. Although, I think he's dressing a little differently now that he's got Sierra. He's still, no, but you know what? He's getting all cool. Russell Wilson. He's got the chains in bed. Who were?

Oh, sorry, Hank. Thank you. Okay. You got an important thing to do right now. Who wears those chains to bed? Those are fucking chains. Actually, that answered my own question. Yeah.

Those are for sure as fucking chains. What that is, it's like, I saw Future wearing this and now I have to wear more chains than Future in bed with Sierra. I think that Sierra's got him dressed up most nights of the week in ways that she approves of, but Russell Wilson on weekends is still dad time. It's still, it's still like Hawaiian shirt tucked into acid wash jeans, maybe some crocs on there. Yes.

Just milling around the backyard doing some, some lawn work. We had two of the best, two of the best moments of sex that we obviously never got to witness, but Tiger Woods after 11 years of not winning a major sex and Russell Wilson $140 million sex. Those are probably the two best sexes that you can do, right? I didn't think that it was going to happen either. I thought the deadline, it was, by the way, credit to Russell Wilson setting a fucking deadline at midnight on April 15th.

Oh, and also, he just cucked the United States government. Yes. Also doing the Jimmy Fallon, where Jimmy Fallon, who I don't think asks sports questions normally, was like, hey Russ, you're going to be the highest paid quarterback, aren't you? Like two weeks ago and just started the whole, you know, news cycle going like, oh yeah, he should get more money. Hey Russ, that's wild. That's awesome.

Let me fuck with your hair. Let me crack an egg over your head. Yeah, get it. All right. I got a question for you, PFT. It's a Seeky question. Promo Code Take, put in Promo Code Take, you get $10 off your first Seeky purchase. Five to nothing you lost to the Hurricanes.

Yeah. A little bit of worry? No. Not worried. Also, I was into a veteran beat up a minor. He beat the shit out of a 19-year-old. That was pretty fucked up. The kid wanted to fight.

Yeah. The kid got what he wanted. Yeah, I mean, like everyone's a little brooch, you know, like your little cousin at like the family retreat. Listen, I want to fight. Like, no, you don't. That was, that was disgusting by Ovechkin. If you can start on a film that's on you porn, giving somebody else a shot to the face, you

can take one to the face on the ice. Guy can't even drink. Well, you can't. He's from Russia. He's from Russia. Yeah, he's Russian. He's been drinking his whole life, too. So you're not worried at all?

Not worried at all. And here's why. If it was a four to three overtime loss, I would be a little bit more worried. But the fact that I was rooting for it to get worse and worse and worse as the game was going on. When it was three, nothing, I was like, fuck, four, give him four. And then I was like, I hope they score another goal because five, nothing, you can just like, you can wipe that one off.

Yeah. You can just say, wasn't our night, wasn't our night, fellas. If you lose a close game where you play, you know, at your best or close to your best, that's demoralizing. Yes. This one, it's just like something weird must have happened. So let's just turn the page. You know what I, I love about playoff hockey and it's an underrated thing that happens

every year. It's the hockey Twitter debate about hits. So whether a guy should get a suspension, whether he shouldn't, what's dirty, what's not, those are my favorite moments when everyone just spends an entire day going super slow mo on a bunch of gifts to decide whether there was intent to the head or he left his feet, all that stuff. There's nothing like hockey hits in the playoffs being under the microscope and debated ad nauseam. That's why I love playoff hockey.

It is great. Gifts are the worst thing I think to happen to the player safety department because you get second guests left and right. Everything. Everything. You know, it's not because he's just clumsy and you know that he's just accidently hitting people. Yeah, agreed.

Yeah. So no, I'm not worried at all. I'm actually not because he beat, over beat the fuck out of that guy last night. That was a big win. Nineteen years old. Nineteen years old. Kid wanted to fight. Nineteen years old.

Yep. Kid wanted to fight. Imagine a grown man beating up Billy football, sad. Yeah, I can. And it's probably happened. Actually, I'd probably be cool if that happened several times. He hasn't talked to us in forever. Yeah.

So beat the fuck out of him. I mean, you can, you can put, you can execute kids in the United States. So I think you should be able to- Yeah, I got dark. To dole out a little bit of fuck. Fist to fist justice amongst Russians. All right. Hot seat, cool throne.

Hank, would you like to start? Sure. Thank you. You're sure? You're welcome. You look like a goddamn snack today, Hank. Thank you. My hot seat, kind of a few-

It would be a shame if you had to shave that beard. First one is Leroy. Little Russell Wilson. Uh-oh. What? Now did Leroy delete the tweet? No, no, no. So are you done deleting tweets?

Are you asking me if my dog is done? I'm actually- I'll have to ask him. He tweets tweets still. I don't know if he does or not. That's why you'll have to talk to him. Got it. Uh, my other hot seat is Nerds.

Wait, wait. So you want to explain? Leroy tweeted out that Russell Wilson was going to sign in New York for like $150 million. That's not at all what he tweeted out. What did he- Hank, you are slandering and libeling my dog. You tell me PFT. We don't know because-

My dog's going to sue you. Hank, you ever been sued by a dog before? No. You're about to be. Because what Leroy tweeted out was that he rejected the Seahawks' latest offer, which would have made him the highest paid quarterback in the league, and then I just tagged the Giants in it because everybody was saying that he wanted to go to New York. So-

But he accepted the offer that made him the highest paid quarterback. They made him a new offer later on that day as the deadline approached. Oh, got it. So there were ongoing negotiations during the day. That's weird because it seems like he probably just accepted the offer that you were implying that he declined. No. Why would you say that?

And then he said Giants. No, he- Got it. No, this is how negotiation works. He told me that, uh, bet me $12 that the information was leaked to Leroy by the Seahawks' front office to make Russell Wilson look bad because that's what's happening now. Leroy can't be trusted. Giants are-

Leroy cannot be trusted. Dogs are loyal. They cannot be. He cannot- That's why they're called Fido. Fidelis. I have no problem with Leroy. I have a problem with Leroy's owner deleting the tweets that are wrong.

I don't delete tweets. Where's the Rick Petino to Alabama tweet? I don't know. It's gone. I have to talk to Jack about that. It's just gone. He's turning one of his intermittent fasts out in Malaysia. What else?

My other hot seat is Nerds because 20 minutes of Avengers leaked and people are freaking out about- Freaking. Spoilers not getting spoiled. Freaking out. It's kind of, kind of sad, you know, someone's so obsessed with like a fantasy movie, like it's just a, it's just a movie. Yeah.

Doesn't even have dragons in it. Yeah. Right. Probably does. Might actually. Probably has a dragon in it. I don't even know what Avengers- I think I did the Avengers.

You explained it to me and I still don't, like every time someone tells me who's in and who's out of Avengers. It's all the Marvel people. You have to watch like 27 movies to fully understand it's a lot. It's, yeah. So I would understand why people get upset about a spoiler, but I mean the reality is it's Superman at the end, Superman is Thanos. So-

Superman is Thanos? He's Thanos. That's how it ends. Is that true? No. It's actually like seven tiny Power Rangers in a trench coat stacked up on each other and they're Thanos. Got it.

Actually no, it's Hillary. My car? I just need, I'm waiting for one like series or like sequel of movie to end where just Hillary is the head person. It was me all along and it's just her next to a fax machine. It's burning. My cool throne is Baby Blues. Yeah.

Chris Berman's favorite jerseys in all sports, the Chargers Baby Blues are going to be their official, they're not going to be their alternates, they're going to be like their permanent home or whatever away jerseys this year. So. Love it. Love it. It is. Philip Rivers looks so much better in the Baby Blues.

The whole thing looks better. It is dark. Yeah, they're never going to win a Super Bowl in the Baby Blues but it looks great. They're candy ass but in a good way. Yeah. I'm done believing in the San Diego Chargers. By the way, have you heard their theme song? I am.

They're like their rally song? San Diego Super Chargers. It is the best song in football. Yeah. I fucking love it. They should go back to San Diego. Yeah. What?

I'm not going to stop calling, I'm not going to start calling the LA Chargers. It's the dumbest fucking thing ever. San Diego Super Chargers. They don't sing that song anymore. Super Chargers. Well, if you're a real fan, it's up to us to keep it going. Yeah. Bass are also on the cool throne.

What? You're a good friend, Lil Uzi. Lil Uzi, yeah. Took a bath, had like 300,000 people watching him and he was just sitting there like taking a bath. It was amazing. He wasn't even talking. Yeah.

He didn't say anything. That's how you get the people. He's a camp girl. Yeah, pretty much without the ejaculation. How do you know you didn't ejaculate? Might have under water. Yeah, under water. That doesn't count.

Under the sea. Yeah. All right. My hot seat is, first of all, my future employment with the FBI. Okay. So I don't think I'll ever be allowed to be an FBI agent since I am now officially on film taking MDMA in the stands of Hong Kong in the rugby tournament with Donnie does. You can go watch the video on, that's on the part of my take YouTube, right?

So go check it out. It was. Subscribe. Subscribe. Please. It was quite an experience. Half of the Sunday, I don't remember. I just remember feeling good.

And then five hours later telling chef Donnie the intern, I said, man, I really enjoyed that, but it was over so quick. And the guy was like, dude, you've been on the moon for like five hours, five hours, five hours. Time. The fact that they open the entire arena at 7am and just let everyone come for the entire day is insane. Isn't that nuts to just open up a sporting arena and say, okay, it's time for you guys

to come in. Let's do it. It's Coachella. Yeah. It's Coachella for rugby. Yeah. And because on Saturday, I'm going to be out at the cannabis cup with the hard factor guys we're going to be doing.

So you're just a drug guy now. Well, I'm considering faking the cannabis on Saturday. Don't tell anybody. This is between us, all the award-winning listeners. So the rule is they're going to do a live stream power hour where they take a hit every single minute for an hour and go through the week's news. I've got joints that are made from CBD that don't actually have THC in them. Don't tell anybody.

But I'm done. I think I'm done with drugs. Sure. Dare programs. It is good for our courtship of Joe Rogan, though. Yes. It is. That's very true.

No, the MDMA. Got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. You know what I'll say. We've still got a micro dose there in Foster later this month. We do. I'll do that.

That's not really drugs, right? No, it's not. Mushrooms. It's micro. It doesn't count. Micro doesn't count. Okay. My other hot seat is Jim Nantz because John Coon is back.

He just signed on to get into the TV and broadcasting game. Oh, wow. So he's going to be doing Packers games. He's going to be doing all sorts of multimedia stuff, multi-weedy stuff, because he's a teammate, no main team. So I'm very, very excited to see our good friend, John Coon, getting behind the microphone. So where's Jim Nantz come in? Just hot seat because John Coon is a new man on the block.

Got it. Got it. Yeah. So is he going to be a play by play guy? Not exactly sure what he's going to be doing, but I'm sure whatever he does. Just watch out, Jim Nantz. He's going to work harder than Jim Nantz. Don't go into dark alleys, Jim Nantz.

John might be lurking around any corner. My cool throne is bees because Pornhub is donating money to save honeybees for every view of a video that they have on their website about pollination, about bee pollination. It's narrated by porn stars in a very sexual way. And so for every time... How did you find out about this? There was, I don't know, my friend told me that my friend who goes to Pornhub, like a weirdo.

I think PFT needs to find God. His entire hot seat, his cool throne, has been drugs and porn. Well, I found God after about three and a half hours of MDMA, so I'm pretty clearly... After people shamed you after your Notre Dame tweet. Oh, wow. We're going there. We're going there. Also, I found God when I...

But you were fine because it didn't even burn. Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. It turns out I was right. You were right. I was right the whole time. I made hopeful suggestions for how they could improve it during their renovations to make it more like an NFL stadium with a Jumbotron.

Nice concessions with these big fucking confession wafers, little crack cocktail instead of wine. I did have a cool throne for when Notre Dame loses, is going down this year, like everyone's going to use that. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's going to be... Live look at Notre Dame. For sure.

For sure. Yeah. Anything else, PFT? No. Just the porn and the MDMA. All right. It's called the B-sexual campaign, by the way. It buzzes with BROTICA to help save the bees, so I'm going to go ahead.

They should just slip their porn in the video. I'm going to open it up right now and save some bees, so while you're going. Are you going to play it? Yeah. So, there is no porn or there is porn? Well, we're about to find out. Nature is B-sexual, not bisexual. A B-sexual, which means most plants and trees rely on bees.

That's a bunch of bees just fucking flowers. That flower is sucking that bee off. Can I see? Look, these plants aren't having sex anymore. They're sad. There you go. Hey. It looks like a good beekeeper.

Why is it incest-related videos underneath? You're just making that up. No, I'm not. I'm looking at it right now. It's a porn hub. So, yeah, you can tell that you're lying. Is this a late, like, April Fool's joke? No, this is it.

I'm saving bees while we're watching. Okay. All right, let's keep going. How many single hornets do you think I've saved by watching? A lot. A lot. Easily. All right, my hot seat is elephants.

I'll save a few bees while you're doing this. So, Kirk Cousins has a new playbook. It is a huge playbook. He tweeted it out, which Kirk Cousins just stopped tweeting, dude. Every single time you tweet, you just get roasted. And when asked about how he's going to learn the new playbook, he said, just like eating an elephant one bite at a time. So, Kirk Cousins, what's up, dude?

What is his deal? How about you start with defeating a buffalo at home before beating an elephant? He makes no sense. He's one of those guys that just should not use Twitter. Well, to me, what it sounds like is he heard this. He seems like a big Ted Talk guy. I bet you every night he falls asleep with his earbuds in to like a random Ted Talk and just hope it gets inside his subconscious.

But it only halfway registers with him, so he wakes up with all these disjointed, weird tech and like motivational theories that he doesn't really understand. So, it's like, in this case, I would say it's like playing a game of telephone that ends at Kirk Cousins that starts at Mike Tomlin and goes through Dr. Seuss. And then he's like eating an elephant. Here it is. It's a green elephant. One bite at a time.

Yeah, we just eat that elephant. He probably puts tinfoil on that elephant meat before he puts it on the grill. Yeah, wraps the entire thing. 100%. All right. My cool throne is prototypical quarterbacks slash white quarterbacks. So, we thought we were in trouble, guys. We thought that the NFL draft was going to start failing us

and the system was not going to work anymore. And all the tall white quarterbacks would be a dying breed. You had Kyler Murray going to go one. Dwayne Haskins supposed to be the second quarterback taken. Uh-uh. No, no, no. Daniel Jones from Duke 65220. John Owens took off his pants is rocketing up the mock drafts,

which that sentence alone is hilarious because we are now taking mock drafts as real news because people are just using mock drafts to rocket some guy up. He might be the second guy taken and he is 65220. Let me say it again, 65220. Daniel Jones. Yeah, you can always tell that a player is really awesome. If they get better and better and better the further time away is spent from football that they are.

Actually playing the game. So, yeah. So, it's been like after two months in the first mock drafts, he was probably the fourth quarterback going off the court. He's in the second round. But he's climbing the more that you forget about what he actually looked like on the field. But I have a conspiracy for you. Yeah.

You know who's behind this, right? Who? Very clearly. Who? Archie Manning. Very clearly Archie Manning. Because the Manning family is fucking in love with Duke's coach. Yeah, David Cutcliffe.

He's the Manning whisperer. Was it Cutcliffe or Cutcliffe? Cutcliffe. Cutcliffe. They're in love with Cutcliffe. They're in love with just sending their boys to Duke University to do a passing drill once a summer. And this guy is just somebody that's been around Peyton and Eli for long enough

that Archie's like, he's my third boy that I never have since Cooper died. He can control this guy. Yeah. He knows how to keep this guy under control and not be good enough to take Eli's job for at least five years. Yeah. I have him at 17 on my mock draft. Oh.

You have him at 17? Okay. I'm the Giants. I'm not making this pick, but the word is that the Giants like him. It could very well end up using the pick they got from Cleveland to take him. Plus, David Cutcliffe coached him in Duke and Cutcliffe coached Eli and Peyton. That's some good analysis. Good point.

Your theory holds up here. That's good point. That is good analysis. You can write for a major media company like CVS or something. Yeah. That was my fourth mock draft. That was your fourth? You've done four?

Damn. Did you have any like in-betweens like a 3.1 or a 2.5? No. That's fantastic. The worst are the people online who just steal other people's mock drafts and try to pawn it off as their own. Totally agree. It's the easiest thing in the world to do, but credit to you for not trying to use your

way out. Credit to Hank. Way to go. Thank you. All right. Let's do them. That's kind of weird to say. Let's just fucking do Drew Brees.

Let's watch some more B videos. Then we'll do Drew Brees. I've got one more B video. I'm going to save one more B's life and then we'll do Drew Brees. Before we get to the interview, we have a couple of quick ads we've got to do. The first one are friends from Ridge Wallet. We actually got these sent to us and they're awesome wallets. We all use them.

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You don't need a real introduction here. Super Bowl champion starting quarterback for the New Orleans Saints holder of basically every passing record ever, but there is your introduction. You are doing a new ad with Untucket, which we love Untucket shirts. We've been wearing them forever. The ad is great because it is the first time I think you have publicly talked about the call in the NFC championship game. So are we, are we over it?

Is this the last moment that you can kind of move on now that you've done the ad and profited off it or where are we at with the, with the call being botched in the NFC championship game? Well, on a, on a professional level, it's, it's something that we got to let go of and believe that we have better things ahead of us, you know, worry about the things that we can control and the opportunity that we have this off season to get a little bit better and go into the end of the season with high expectations and, and you know, hopefully deliver on that.

But on, on this note, you know, listen, this was an opportunity to deliver the core message which is what Untucket is all about. But at the same time doing it in kind of a light and humorous way. I think we were able to do that. I think it's a, it's a, it's a great reflection of, of what the Untucket brand is all about in, in, in having created the, the perfect shirt that is, is meant to be worn untucked. But then at the same time, you know, you deliver a little zinger at the end of the commercial that, you know, people can laugh about.

Right. What's so nice about playing for the Saints, I have to imagine is your fan base is so passionate. They're like, they're like a tack dog. So you can kind of move on professionally. You can say, okay, we've got to take these steps to get better and focus on next year. But you still know that the fans are going to be doing crazy shit, like putting up billboards in Atlanta, dressing up like blind refs during Mardi Gras. Has there ever reached a point where you're like, okay, guys, I think it's time for us

as a city to move on. Are you always kind of happy to see them kind of going after your enemies for you? I love our fans. I love our fans. We got the greatest fans in the world. And obviously they are a passionate group. Listen, everybody was pretty upset after that game and after the no call. And I think that that always kind of live as a little bit of a way to call it have fun,

you know, for the New Orleans faithful. But I think we're, our fans are as excited about this upcoming season as we are. Obviously, the expectations are high. They always are. But you know, I feel like that's what makes it so much fun. So we were talking before we hopped on about your coach, Sean Payton, who we know and we've had him on the show before. He said publicly that it took him a couple of weeks to get over that call and kind of

move on. How long was it for you? How long before you kind of shook it off and didn't wake up thinking about it all the time? Well, it took a while. I mean, probably until, you know, I started really training again and getting my sights and focus set on this next season. Always take some time just to get away and recharge the battery.

You know, obviously, it's a long and grueling season every year, especially when you, you know, you make it that far into playoffs and unfortunately fall short. So I think for everybody, it's good, it's healthy to get away, try to clear your mind and then reset your focus and your sights on what you got to do to get better for next season. I've got a real tough question for you. So we're going to get to the hard hitting stuff right off the bat. What is the best uniform in all football?

The Chargers Baby Blue or the Saints All-White? They're both pretty sweet, aren't they? Yeah. I think the Chargers Baby Blue, the cool thing about that is that that was actually their jersey right back in the AFL days, right? The Lance Allworths Bambi days in the sixties. So that was that was their actual uniform. I don't think the Saints ever wore the All-White that just was the color rush, you know, version.

So while I I love the the All-White Saints, I think I think the Charger Baby Blue might might go down in history being that it was legitimately the jersey for them in the sixties. That's a good answer. Chris Perlman's favorite jersey in all sports, so you can't go wrong there. Do you ever sit back and think about your sliding doors moment that you could have been a dolphin and then somehow picked Dante Colpepper over you, which still is baffling? Well, you know, when I was coming out of college, what I felt like they were going to draft me at that time, too.

You know, at least that's what I was told. Going into draft day, I think the Dolphins had the 26th kick or something like that. And, you know, there was there was a bunch of teams prior to them that I had done private workouts for. And, you know, I felt like there was a strong interest and I remember my my head coach Joe Tiller, he was very good friends with one of the Dolphin scouts and he had come up to me before the draft and said, listen, if you're at tick 26, the dolphins are going to take you.

And so, you know, I'm going through the draft sitting there in back of my mind saying, all right, well, that's that's why I'm ending up unless somebody grabs me before that. And so here comes the Dolphins take a 26 and I'm standing by the phone and it ever rings and they picked Jamar Fletcher, a DV from Wisconsin, who I played against the Buntson was a great player. But no, that was that and then obviously the free agency where where where the dolphins were a possibility. There were there were two opportunities that did you actually meet with Nick Saban when

you were visiting the dolphins? Yeah, yeah, I did. They they picked me up on Wayne Heisinger's plane actually from New Orleans. I came to New Orleans first and then flew to Miami and did did visits both those places been a lot of time in the same has he ever reached out to you in retrospect and been like, Hey, Drew, I screwed that up, hand up. That's on me. No, here's the thing, I think we I think we can only recognize that it's worked out for

both of us. Yeah, that that New Orleans was was where I belonged and and I was there for a reason that was truly God's calling for for me and my wife and for for Saban. I think that he's he's done pretty well for himself at Alabama, so it's it's all worked out for everybody. It is really crazy to think about how that sliding doors moment happens and you become such an like an important part of New Orleans as a city post Hurricane Katrina and winning the Super Bowl and you're like, you're part of the fabric of the city now.

Do you look back at that and say like, I can't believe that like Drew Brees in New Orleans have become synonymous in a way and it's crazy what the Saints have done for that city. Yeah, it's it's been an incredible journey. I mean, I think it's been 13 years that that's that's the crazy part because it's it's gone by it's gone by really fast and there's been some unbelievable moments, obviously Super Bowl and been a part of so many great teams and you know, I've had the same head coach the whole time, which I know is very rare in this day and age in this industry. So I consider myself very fortunate, very lucky to not only be part of such a great

organization, but I think just the the journey that we all embarked on back in 2006, you know, that was six months post Katrina, you know, and I know, I know people recognize the devastation, you know, that Katrina inflicted on New Orleans. But when we when we got there, I mean, it was it was like a war zone. You know, so so to to get guys to to come there back in 2006 2007 that was that was a tall order. But and it took guys with vision, it took guys with kind of that right mindset to know that they were going to be a part of something that was much greater than just football and it was really much greater than themselves. And I think that's what made it so special

with the people that we had a chance to share all that with. Now, who was in that core group? Because, you know, we always hear about you and coach Peyton, but I'm sure that there was, you know, a larger group of guys that kind of founded that core. Who are the people that don't get talked about as much as you two? Well, Scott Fujita, he was he was the first free agent signed, actually, and then I think I was the second. So he was he was a huge part of that journey for for and was with us for four years. Part of the Super Bowl team one of our starting linebackers. John Stinchcomb was our right tackle. He was an integral part of that Will Smith,

certain defensive end who passed away three years ago. He was a part of that. And listen, so so many others that came in, you know, through that 060708 stretch. Scott Shanley, Jonathan Zuma, Deuce McAllister, we draft Reggie 06. And there was just a tremendous group of guys that that were a part of that. I think it's safe to say both you and coach Saban made the right choice. I think you're right on that one. But just allow me to daydream for a second that you had gone to Miami and you teamed up with coach Saban and you would have stopped Belichick and Brady in the prime. So that would be nice. That would have been nice. Listen, there's there's no question. Coach Saban is extremely

talented and gets gets the best out of this guy. Yeah, I played against him twice in college. You know, people forget he was at Michigan State before he was at LSU. And so that was that was the coach that we had to deal with in the big 10 along with, you know, many others that were really, really good. What actually, so I went to Wisconsin, I'm a big 10 guy. Say something nice about West Lafayette. What's your favorite part? Jake's is no longer, no longer there. So there are no more free hot dogs. What's your favorite part about West Lafayette knowing that Jake's is no longer there? Oh man. Um, there's something about something about Midwest in the fall, you know, leaves changing

color walking through campus. It was a great atmosphere. I was a Texas boy wanted to play football in the state of Texas for college and beyond. And, you know, so when I get the recruiting call from Purdue, I didn't have many offers. It was Purdue in Kentucky. But I remember going up there on my visit, it's like six feet of snow on the ground. You couldn't even see the buildings. I was just like, man, what am I doing? You know, but, uh, it's obviously one of the best decisions I've ever made. Um, uh, the education I got there, I met my wife there, um, was a part of the resurgence of that program, you know, Purdue, well known as a football school back then. We were a basketball school, right? Still are. But, um, then that football program, uh, with Joe Tiller coming

in in 97 really kind of sparked a 10 year run there of bowl games and winning seasons. And, and then that's being carried on right now by Jeff Brom, who I think is doing a phenomenal job at Purdue. So I think the future is bright there. Um, we're still huge supporters of the program. And I know what Purdue has given me and I'm just trying to give back. And I think it's a tremendous place in a tremendous environment. All right. Who's the most important Purdue alumni? You or Lance Armstrong? Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong. Sorry. Now bear in mind, Neil never threw a Super Bowl pass. You might have walked on the moon, but like four other guys have done that. Yeah. I'd say that's pretty significant though with Neil Armstrong, uh, accomplished. So I'd

have to put him up there. Um, I'm going to throw another name in there, John Wooden. Okay. Kyle Orton. All right. Pretty strong. John Wooden, maybe only the greatest coach of all time at any sport, any level. Um, here's one for you, Amelia Earhart. Oh, that's a good one. I don't think she necessarily, I don't think she necessarily went to like undergraduate school there, but Purdue has one of the best aviation programs, um, in the country, if not the world along with engineering and a bunch of other things. Um, so that's, that's a good one. Um, that's a tough name though to throw out there and be like, we have the best aviation. Yeah. Uh, program. Right.

Who else, what else do you got there? Purdue has put, put out more astronauts than any other school. Um, I think that's like 22 astronauts. I think you had the first person on the moon, the last person and the person who had the most trips to the moon. You guys just on the moon, literally on the moon. We were on the moon. Yes. Like wait. Yeah. Yeah. What, uh, way before Elon Musk started talking about going to Mars, we've, we've got, we got everybody on the moon. Um, yeah. That's, that's a, that's a big time. I mean, Mike Allstot, obviously all time guy, Brad Miller, there's a bunch of guys who speaks three, three Super Bowl winning quarterbacks, only one other school. Can you name that school

and who they are? Um, um, Michigan. No, we were just talking about this coach or coaches there. Alabama. Alabama. Really? Alabama. You want Joe? Yeah. Joe. Name is, is the only one I'm thinking of. Wait, are we talking starting quarterbacks? Bart Starr, Bart Starr, Kenny Stabler, Joe Namath. Interesting. Okay. And then, uh, for, for Purdue, it's Lynn Dawson, Bob Greasy and myself. Oh, see, that's where I screwed up because I was thinking Bob Greasy, Jr. went to Michigan. Bob Greasy, I was assuming Bob Greasy went to Michigan, but I'm wrong. I'm very wrong. Drew, you were picked 32nd overall, right? Yes. So isn't that, do we still have to refer to you as a second round pick, even though in today's math, you're a first rounder? Um, yeah, unfortunately,

or fortunately, I guess the good, the good thing about it was the, the, the chargers that year, their, their first round pick they took with Danian Tomlinson. That's good. And then, and then, and then I was, I was there in the second round for them to take. So yeah, I'm okay with, I'm okay with being in the second round behind with Danian Tomlinson. How much longer are you going to play? Because I feel like you are going under the radar. Tom Brady, everyone talks about him playing. He's a little bit older, but you're basically the same age. Are you going to play until you're 50? Um, listen, I'm having fun. I'm having fun playing the game. Um, I still, uh, have a fire and a desire, um, and things to accomplish. And so I'm going to, I'm going to

do that as, as long as I feel that way. And as long as I'm having fun and able to stay healthy and play at a high level. And you know, my kids are in an age now too, where they can enjoy this. I got three boys, age 10, eight and six and a little girl who's four and then they love game day. They love coming to the facility with dad and, um, you know, jumping in the cold tub, hot tub, whirlpool and going in the weight room and going in the indoor facility and just, you know, running around causing trouble, um, stealing gloves out of Michael Thomas's locker and, you know, Camara and everybody else. So it's, it's, I mean, we're, I'm enjoying myself and, and I'm enjoying these moments for my kids too. All right. So now give us a real number.

What, what do you think at 44, 45? If you give us a number on Tuckett, we'll get like a ton of publicity to like, Drew Brady says that he wants to play till 44 in untuckett interview. I don't know. I might, might have to put that into the next untuckett commercial. Okay. Smart. We need some residuals from that. Yeah, we need some residuals from that. I know you're a hyper competitive dude. Um, you want to keep playing as long as, you know, you're able to compete at a high level, but is there a small part of you that steps to the side when Tayson Hill gets in, you're like, that guy's fun to watch. Take snaps. Heck yeah. Man, I love watching Tayson. He's, he's, he is like the renaissance man. He can, he can do

everything. You know, anywhere on the field, you need this guy. Um, he, he can do it and he can do it at a high level and he embraces the role. So, um, you know, that started off with, hey, you know, a couple of times a game, you know, we're going to do this, call it wildcat, call it, you know, whatever you want to call it or Tayson comes in and I go split out a receiver and give my best, you know, Randy Moss impression out there while, while, while he gets, you know, does the dirty work, but, uh, that evolved into, into being a lot more as the season went on just because it was so effective. Um, you know, he is such a strong runner when he keeps the ball and obviously a big threat, I think to defenses. And so then that opens up opportunities for other

guys as well. Um, both runners and, and receivers. So man, I think the sky's the limit as far as what we're going to be able to do with him just because he is so versatile. Do you ever get just like a little bit jealous and you're like, I think coach Payton likes Tayson more than he likes me. No, I'm jealous because I'm that big and strong and can't run that fast. That's why I'm jealous. Yeah. Right now he's, he's a stud. Um, I would actually argue that you are the most beloved guy in the NFL right now. Like there's not even, you know, even, you know, Tom Brady or Aaron Rogers, they're guys who their fans love them, but everyone on the outside doesn't. Whereas you are loved, I think throughout the league by everyone in the NFL,

fans, front offices, everything. So that with that said, I'm going to nitpick something with you, Drew. I was reading your Wikipedia and you said you live your life. The four priorities are the four F's and the four F's are faith, family football and philanthropy. Do you know how to spell the word philanthropy? I do, but that's, that's, that's part of the, that's part of the humor. Hey, it's just like the end of the Yantucket commercial, right? I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm serious. I'm serious. And then at the very end, there's just a little zinger just to make sure you pay attention. Okay. That's fair. What about fun? You just have fun be one of the F's friends like us, who you pay or put football in there twice. Yeah. Football double time.

So yeah, but, but, but at some point the, the, the length of F's becomes too long, right? You can't say that I live my life by the 10 F's, but the seven F's. You know, the four, the four F's sounded right. You know, there's four quarters in football, you know, there's four quarters in life, you know, I live by the four F's. That is a true football guy thing to do. Just split up your life into four quarters. I got a dumb question, but I think you have an answer for it. What is your favorite pass to throw? Oh man, everybody loves the go ball, right? Everybody loves to watch it. Yeah. Just airing it out. There's, there's, maybe it's, maybe it's just that, uh,

it's that level of excitement, like the minute a quarterback turns the ball loose and you know that ball is getting pushed down the field. There's like that three, four, five second period of time, wherever I just kind of holds their breath, right? And their, their eyes immediately go down the field and, and start thinking about, you know, how's this guy going to make this catch? You know, what's going to happen? Is it over the top? Is it a back shoulder? Is it, you know, so there's something exciting about that. Yeah. There's that moment where you grab the guy sitting next to you. If you're, you're in the stands, you're like, here we go. Cause you're like, something's going to happen. I don't know what, but it's going to be cool. Yeah. Um, Drew,

thank you so much for joining us. Uh, you joined us through on Tucket. Your new commercial is out. You're not mad about the call. You're just going to make a commercial about it like three months later, right? Yeah, absolutely. Life goes on, man. There's bigger and better things ahead, but we're certainly going to take the opportunity to have fun with it. Yeah. That's the, that's the fifth F, the fifth F fun. Right. Overtime. Yes. Overtime fun. Um, all right. Thanks so much, Drew. Good luck in next season. All right, guys. Have a good one. All right. Have a good one. Thanks, man. That interview with Drew Brees was brought to you by a zip recruiter as any coach or general

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allowed to bring- He's a Calibur. Yeah. Yeah. Former Columbite. Yeah. Greg Oden. Greg Oden. And that's about Dad Matta. Does he still spend summers there? Yeah, probably. Probably. Yeah, you don't want to. Probably still has got his house. Yeah. So to those guys, you're not allowed to bring a broom into the stadium tonight. Oh, damn. Which sucks. That does suck. That's, I mean, it does a sweep count if random dudes don't bring in brooms and then piss off their wives because they're like, hey, where the hell's our broom? I mean, we're bringing the- Why would that piss off the wives? Because you're just taking each other's house. You're saying that the wife would notice that the brooms go because why? Men broom too. Yeah, but why would the wife be upset?

Because they're like, why is there shit all over the house? You haven't broomed in a while, honey. Oh, so you're saying that's her responsibility to understand when the house is upset? No, she sees shit on the floor and the house is dirty. Yeah, most people notice that. Yeah, most people do. I'm not, you can't corner me here. Okay. So the wife- Exactly. Okay. The most people notice it. Just interesting to the pronoun that you used. You canceled. So, oh, you've been canceled. Don't you cancel? I'm not canceled. I uncancelled myself. A canceled person can't cancel someone else. I uncancelled myself. You can't cancel someone else when you've been canceled this week. I'm not canceled. You were canceled for a minute. I was not canceled. You canceled for a minute. All right,

we have Way to Stay Relevant. It's a cancel off, folks. It's a cancel off. I love people getting canceled. You just can't root for anyone anymore because they'll eventually be canceled. Way to Stay Relevant baseball, Blake Snell, Cy Young Winner got hurt getting out of his shower, which is just a classic baseball moment. This happened, yeah. It happens about this time every year. Yep. So the annual rites of passage in baseball in the spring are opening day slash not, not knowing when opening day was and finding out that it was yesterday in Australia. Yep. The first week of baseball where things are kind of cool and the first fight of the season. Yep. And then the most ridiculous injury that happens. So usually like a guy washing his car. Yeah.

Yeah. Doing some sneezing, Sammy Sosa. Yeah. Ironing himself. John Smoltz. That was a great one while wearing the shirt. Carlos Zambrano, who's back, God talked to him and told him that he should come back and play baseball again. I don't know why Hank threw that at him. Carlos Zambrano once had carpal tunnel because he was on the internet too much. Oh yeah. Yeah. Me too. So yeah. I gave myself a bad case of tennis elbow for being online. Blake Snell wrote, I got off the plane, went home, took a shower, got out of the shower, and then there's like this big like granite thing that I don't like looking at. And I lifted it. It's like a three piece set and like this pole that comes up two and a half, three feet. And then there's a top. You like put

something on it. I don't know what you would put on it in the shower. Like it's right outside the shower. So I'm like, ah, I'm moving this. This is stupid. Dry it off, put my clothes on. I start to move it. I lift it and I go to move it where the tub is just to set that down. But I lifted it up thinking, all right, I'm going to lift this whole thing up and put it over here and get it away from where I'm always at. And then I lifted it up and it wasn't glued to the pole. And then the pole came crashing down and then yeah, that was a story really dumb. Dude, you're having sex in the shower. Yeah. Like that was a really long way of just saying, Hey, I was having sex in the shower and I, I stubbed my toe. Yeah. So the big takeaway from that was he made sure to include

the fact that he put his clothes back on. So who is annoyed by something in their shower and then decides to get out of the shower, get dressed and then move it. Yeah. At the very least, he was jacking off by himself and had a convulsion when he nutted and he hurt his toe that way. Probably just having sex in the shower. Probably just having sex in the shower. But, but let's be real. You were not like fully clothed. I don't think I've ever stepped into a shower fully clothed in my entire life. Who does that? Yeah. Who does that? That's, that's good. Even plumbers. There's pants go halfway down off their ass. Yeah. And then the woman walks in and is like, you need help with that? Yeah. And he's like, yeah, you like the top

half of my ass. The porn part of my take porn episode. It makes no sense. I also love when world class athletes somehow slip in the shower. Like they are now are, you know, 95 year old grandmothers. What are you talking about? But even like other other guys have done this in other sports. We should do a dumbest. Did we do a Mount Rushmore, Dumbest Injuries? We should do an entire podcast interviewing people that have had the Dumbest Injuries. Glenn Allen Hill, when he has a, he has a spider phobia, arachnophobia is that what it's called? Yeah. And he dreamt that he was getting attacked by spiders and slept walk and like hurt himself. Really bad, right? Yeah. I think he heard him pretty bad. There's all kinds of, what about

baseball? Didn't Felix Pie or Felix PA like have a twisted testicle somehow? Yeah. Like woke up in the morning and has not done like a 360. They just figure out ways to hurt themselves no matter what. We should do a full podcast of the dumbest baseball injuries. Dumbest baseball injuries. We'll do that this summer. We probably PR one on one staying on baseball. Christianity will not stop hitting home runs. It's a problem. It's a problem because should we put the clip in? Yeah, let's do it. Here's the clip. We may have said this. If you win the home run Derby, what would you do? I guess we'd have to eat crow. What are we going to eat? Well, someone already did that. Someone already did that. Oh, yeah.

We'll eat each other's ass. I'll go down. If you win the home run Derby, eat each other's ass. No, I'm going to lick a crow's butthole. That's what I'll do. I'll one up the guy. You're never going to win a home run Derby. I'm fine with that. I'll just kill myself if you do. Yeah, that's fine. I always have it out. And so that was from this past summer. Listen, it's somewhat ambiguous, very, because you said we'll eat each other's asses. You couldn't really hear what we said, but it's up for interpretation. A crow's ass was thrown in there. We have to eat each other's asses whilst eating a crow's ass. Right. So we'll figure it out if we get to it. Not worried, but let's just say there was an honest conversation off air today

about PFT and I cutting a piece of our ass and making a chili out of it. Fuck you Christian Yelich. Yeah, hopefully come on the show next week when he's in New York. Here's the thing. Real talk. It's going to mess up his swing if he competes in the home run. I said that to him and he was like, I do it every batting practice hasn't messed it up since I was like, well, that's different. That's different because there are multiple rounds and sometimes you just keep on hitting on forever. Real talk in the home run Derby. Real talk. Fuck up your swing. Real talk. If he says that he's going to be in the home run Derby, I will put steroids in his drink. Spike that I will absolutely do real talk. I'm not we're not eating asses. We will do everything.

I'll get on the phone with Bud Selig. I'll send him a telegram because he probably doesn't use phones. Correct. I'll get it. I'll send him a telegram saying, hey, this is Christian Yelich's doctor. I'm giving him HGH every single day and then have Bud really lay down the hammer on him. I know Bud's not technically commissioner and also he doesn't care about steroids, but yeah, yeah, anymore. Well, no, you might be back to it, but yeah, he got back into a corner to care about steroids. Yes, for a long time. He didn't either way. Christian Yelich just chill out, man. Stop. You know what we should do? You know what we should do? What? We should do a deep fake of Christian Yelich of him like actually eating somebody's ass. We'll find a new ass eating video

and put him like edit his face on there. So Christian, I'm not, I'm not blackmailing you. No, we're not. No, I'm not. But we're willing to go at length. Just know that I have far less to lose than you do. All right. Wrapping up here before we get to guys on guys who farted the Max Kellerman edition. So the internet is saying Max Kellerman farted during first take. Do you think he did? Well, I think the gas bag on first take is usually Stephen A. Smith. I love a good fart video, Jim Tomsul, when he farted in his press conference all time moment. I think Chris Dicka did it. Oh, yeah. Dicka did it big time. Dicka even did this. He lifted his ass. Yeah. Cheek lift. Yeah. Yeah. He'll get a little leverage on that fart. I think he did fart.

And I think it's because Stephen A. Smith has just been owning him with debates and he's about to get $10 million. So Max has probably been, you know, I don't know. Well, he's also someone's been like taking videos. When Kellerman talks on first take, you can just see Stephen A. not paying attention. Like he's just completely zoned out, like doesn't give a shit. I love it. I love it. So that could have been a response. No, Kellerman is scared of Stephen A. Smith. Yes. He is absolutely frightened by the very sight of him. It's like you ever see two dogs in a dog park and one just pisses themself when they see the other dog because they're such a beta. That's what Max Kellerman steps into the ring on first take. He hears Molly Curram's voice and he immediately

just all body functions. He goes number three. He pisses, he poops and he pukes at the same time. Stephen A. Smith actually should have just ended the show and been like, I need a new co-host. I just made my co-host shit his pants just by the sight of me. You know what? Stephen A. Smith should just debate a pile of his own money. Burning. Like the Joker, just burning a pile of money and debating it. Just like Molly Curram reaches over and she lights like $5,000 on fire at the start of every show and Stephen A. Smith has to holler at it until the fire goes out. Oh man. All right. Last up before we get to guys on guys, Talking Soccer. Roma has banned all their players from taking pictures with Drake for the rest of the season because the Drake curse has hit

soccer. I guess like five teams have lost recently that have all taken pictures with Drake. I smart move. Also Talking Soccer, Messi advanced in the Champions League, but Ronaldo did not. Okay. So Kiannis L. Goat, Campion. Messi. Messi. Messi. And that was Talking Soccer. And that was Talking Soccer. So I am totally on board. This is an Italian team that did it, right? Yes. Totally on board with the Italian team. I love it whenever these European soccer teams do stuff that in the United States would just be looked at as weird as shit. Like back in the 2006 World Cup, the French manager just held out some of his star players from the World Cup. I think like Tredegé or whatever because he was a big astrologist and his players' birthdays

didn't line up with the right signs of the zodiac. It worked. And so he just kept them home. It worked. They made it to the finals. They lost to Italy. That worked. So I love it when these French countries just do stuff that would make American sports fans just their heads. Go nuts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's true. Soccer is a whole different world, but it is also not impervious to Drake's curse. Like that's what we found out. It's a whole different world. They have all different ways of doing stuff, but they too are afraid of Drake's curses. Now, if I'm Drake, I got to find a way to get my picture taken with one of these guys. Oh yeah. You got to sneak this in. Or just buy a full kit. Be a full kit wanker. Yeah. Drake. Show up to the game. Does Drake care that he's this

I mean, he really like the Raptors really have no chance. They should trade. The Raptors should trade Drake. Yeah. No, I to answer your question. Yeah. I think he's upset. He's mad. He's a big mad. I think he's upset. Yeah. Go ahead, Hank. Guys on guys. So we're going to try to do something a little different than guys on chicks. We're going to do guys on chicks still, but yeah. First of all, I want to let all our female listeners out there know, hey, we care about you. We still care about you so much. But you know what? Sometimes you just got to hang with the boys. Yeah. We got to hang with the boys. It's just time to just chill with the dudes. Give some advice out. What's up boys, especially skinny PFT. This is a little different now. So for the shout outs, the specific shout

outs. Oh yeah. Wait. Yeah, no, that's fine. So yeah, that's fine. All right. I'll take them any way I can get it. It's guys on guys, but instead of the guys who are writing in pretend to be chicks, they're just being guys. What if it's chicks writing in pretend to be guys because we took away their guys on chicks? We basically have time traveled to late 90s, AIM chat rooms. We don't know who's who. My brother just broke up with his girlfriend and she is telling everyone in our family that he cheated on her with another girl. Turns out she was lying because she's pissed he broke up with her and she's a psycho. Now she's saying that I'm Snapchatting other girls and that I'm cheating on my girlfriend. How should we handle this situation? Thanks boys. I think you got to

sleep with her. Yeah, prove her wrong. Actually, you know what? Here's the thing. So this is not, that was not good advice, but here's what you should actually do. Sounds like this girl is a little bit nuts. She's very emotional because she probably cared about your brother. What you have to do is you have to make her seem way, way, way more nuts than she actually is so everybody will believe you. So that means you have to start Snapchatting her and sending her just like outrageous stuff. Just like stuff nobody would ever believe. And then she'll start spreading the rumors. Oh, he sent me a picture of, I don't know, fill in the blank here. I don't want to, I've already been problematic enough today. No, you're good. No, I've been canceled. You've got it. You have been

canceled, but you can't double cancel. Okay. Here's a picture. Here's a picture. You're actually in a perfect spot now. He Snapchat me a picture of him having sex with a silkworm nest and choosing all over and drowning all the tiny little butterflies. And then every, yeah, then everybody would be like this chick's crazy. That would never happen. And then there you go. And then boom, you're out of your problem. Just make sure she doesn't watch Gone Girl. That would be my advice. That'd be probably that would get some ideas flowing. Or just you could do my idea and come into a silkworm. That was one of those ones where I just let you talk and you found your place to fucking a butterfly nest. Yep. Going to New York in a few weeks to visit some people. One of the

people I'm visiting a girl I went to high school with has become best friends with a girl who's trying to make it as a model. She's probably going to be the best looking person I've ever met in real life based off her Instagram. How do I approach a girl who models considering she knows that I know that she knows how good looking she is? Do I just bring it up or not even mention it? You already lost. Yeah, you lost. You're done. It's over. Only way to salvage this is to hope that she's got a friend with her when you meet her for the first time and then go up to her friend and be like, oh my gosh, it's so intimidating to meet a model. You're so beautiful. And have the model hear you say that to the friend. And then she'll be like, wait, I'm the model and be like,

oh, oh, wow, that could have fooled me. The only way you can this can work is you have to actually realize that you've lost. There's no chance, but actually realize it. And then you will be free to possibly be cool enough to not like come across as this desperate dude who says this is the most gorgeous woman I'm ever going to meet. I'm ever going to see you're out based off her Instagram. You're done. Which is never, which is never real life, but you're done. You're gone. The tip is don't don't get your hopes up like you've gotten some guys, especially MDMA commenter. One of my buddies is addicted fellas. My one of my buddies is addicted to shaving his ass hair. Oh, he is constantly grooming himself and ridding his body of any hair between his cheeks.

How do we let him know this is weird? And he doesn't need to shave his ass this much. Okay, thanks for the hold on. I have a question. What's weirder shaving your ass hair or knowing your best friend shaves his ass hair? He's your roommate. It's not weird. He probably talks about it or you see like, like when people shave, you know, it gets messy. I think you probably that's how you, how you address it. Be like, bro, you make a mess, clean it up, unclog the drain, but maybe get some asshole bleaching and put it right on the kitchen table. Like that's also dangerous at bleaching your ass shaving your ass. Oh yeah. Yeah, I would say so. Maybe he maybe uses that like shampoo that makes your hair fall out. Yeah.

It's called Nair. Also, could you have your roommate just shoot us a couple tips in case Christian Nielsen wins over Derby. Yeah, well, you don't want a couple tips. You're not a hair guy. It's just, it could be nice. If you get dinner, you get dinner and you get the floss at the same time. Similar, similar question. Sup boys, especially got cat. Oh, Game of Thrones. Okay. I'm wondering how much I should be shaving down low in order to impress the ladies. I've always been told that chicks like a little bit of hair. So it doesn't look like I've got a pretty good. Now we're in a bad spot because now we're on a line of also not that women do know that we don't know. Yeah, that was kind of the whole point of guys on chicks. Yeah, I know. I know. I thought, I thought these

were also how important I didn't want these to be sex questions. We really can't help with that. We're not good at answering. I wanted to more be like, Hey, do I have to do my taxes? No. Yeah. Hey, do I know about my ball theory about how often you like on your calendar, how often you should shave your balls? I don't know. My general rule of thumb is that you shave it once it starts to impede the natural movement of it. Yeah, once it gets lost in the in the words. Yeah, it's a real easy way to gain a couple inches. All right, well, end with this one kind of sounds like a romcom plot. Okay, support. Oh, all right. Thanks. Go to puberty. There we go. Sup boys. What happens if my voice cracks? Sup PMT boys, especially big cat. I was good friends

with the girl period. We both had the same major and often studied together. I thought we were just friends. But after a few months, I got a vibe that she was attracted to me. The vibe kept getting stronger. And I was pretty sure she liked me. I wasn't sure if I wanted to date her. So I was taking time to think it over. I was explaining the situation to a buddy of mine one night, and he asked if I was sure she liked me. I joked that I would bet my pinky that she liked me. And my buddy freaking told her that I'll bet my pinky on her liking me. Now she won't talk to me. I zoned out. Sorry. Is there anything I can do to save the friendship or my pinky? Yeah, bet on the Houston Texans. There we go. So problem solved. You got it. You got it. So that

listen, guys on guys need some work. We tested it. Didn't really work out the way I thought. Maybe we'll we'll go back to the drawing board, we'll go back to guys on chicks next week, and we'll figure out how to possibly maybe give real advice that isn't sex advice to the guys, to the few guys that listen to this show because mostly women listen to this show. All right. That's our show. I just want to say like in address address that last caller or text or whatever. Yeah. That's a quintessential guy thing to do is like, just know in your head that, oh, this girl must like me, but be so afraid of actually asking and following up on it that you're more likely to bet a body part than you are to just be like, Hey, here's how I feel about you.

Do you like me too? Right? Because rejection of a woman is far worse than cutting off your own finger. Agreed. Yeah. Easily. All right. That's our show. Go watch PFT's Hong Kong video on our YouTube channel. Watch rough and rowdy on Friday night. Watch hard factor and PFT smoke weed on Saturday. The hard factor guys will be doing the actual stuff. Yes. Yes. And we will see everyone off you guys. It's part of my take presented by far stool sports.