Pardon My Take - Dungeons And Dragons Featuring Timm Woods

Episode Date: February 16, 2024

We're back for a very special edition of Dungeon and Dragons with our friend Timm Woods and special guest Nick Turani. Yet again we have decided to work as a team to accomplish the adventure Timm has worked out for us and yet again all plans go awry. We taped this episode in front of a green screen so go watch it as well as we've added graphics to accompany our adventure.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. Today's part of my take, Dungeons & Dragons. We are back with Tim Woods. If you are listening to this right now and you want to watch it, go watch it everywhere that we post these videos because we did it on a green screen, but it was awesome. Probably our best Dungeons and Dragons yet.

We are on vacation right now, but we taped this for everyone at home. Tim Woods, Nick Tarani, me, Hank, PFT, Jake, all of us going on an adventure that took us so many twists and turns, great jokes, great laughter. It's the best. We love doing these episodes

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Go sign up right now. Use code take new customers getting no sweat bed up to a thousand dollars if your first bet loses. Today is Friday February 16th and it's time for Dungeons & Dragons so let's kick it to ourselves in the world of Tim Woods. Welcome to part of my take today is Friday February February 16th, and it's Dungeons and Dragons time. We are sitting right now with Tim Woods, PFT, Jake, Hank, and our good friend, Nick Tarani. Greg. Thank you for having me back. With how many Gs?

Uh, two as normal. Okay. Two Gs with Greg. G, G, G, R, E, G. Yes. G, G, R, Uh, two. As normal. Okay, two Gs with Greg. G-G-R-E-G. Yes, G-G-R-E-G. We're all dressed up. G-G-R-E-G. Tim?

But I gotta take off the helmet. I can't hear anything. That's how it is. The cat's wearing a helmet right now. I can't hear anything. I couldn't hear shit. Tim, you arrived in full costume today. I did, yeah. And you look awesome. Appreciate today. I did yeah, and you look awesome appreciate it

I'm very excited about this you thought about bringing your sword on the plane I did I looked up whether TSA would accept foam swords they do not and so I Held on to my foam blade back at home didn't get to bring it But I'm so honored to be in the presence of Andrew the flame of the West right now Yes, that's a sword here Nick just got from the ANA studio so Tim I'm I'm also I want you to get out of here on time and make your flight. I know it got delayed, but also I don't want you to get out

of here too on time because I want you to have to get onto the plane wearing that full car. Oh yeah, 100%. I think if it's necessary, I will board the plane dressed as a ranger. So we are, we're taping this in mid January. If you are listening to this right now, you should also watch it because we're on the green screens again. So we're

going to do all the graphics, the full immersion and Tim is going to take us through an entire adventure. Let's first start with everyone saying what they're dressed as and then we'll start with Tim taking us, taking us down the path. Okay. So Jake, what are're dressed as, and then we'll start with Tim taking us down the path. Okay, so Jake, what are you dressed as? And what's your name? My name is Cake the Elven Wizard. And what are you dressed as? Cake the Elven Wizard.

Oh, okay. Hell yeah. Absolutely. You look like one of the, um, one of the old cartoons, like the Mickey Mouse. You know what I'm talking about? The Fantasia. The Fantasia. The Fantasia. The Fantasia. The Fantasia. The Fantasia. The Fantasia. The Fantasia. The Fantasia. The Fantasia. The Fantasia. The Fantasia. The Fantasia. The Fantasia. The Fantasia. The Fantasia. you know what I'm talking about like the Fantasia We're here Yeah, yeah, yeah

The Vintage of the Frentice Yeah, yeah, yeah The Vintage of the Frentice Yeah, yeah The Vintage of the Frentice Yeah, yeah The Vintage of the Frentice Yeah

The Vintage of the Frentice Yeah, yeah The Vintage of the Frentice Yeah The Vintage of the Frentice Yeah, yeah The Vintage of the Frentice Yeah, yeah

The Vintage of the Frentice Yeah, yeah The Vintage of the Frentice Yeah, yeah The Vintage of the Frentice Yeah, yeah The Vintage of the Frentice You look great. Famous paladin, famous historical paladin. Yes, yes. Get the powdered wig. I like the look. Thank you. What, Megan did your makeup? She did, yeah.

She did a really good job. Yeah, she's great. It's a really good job. Megan making up. I am Wayne, the Hilddwarf Bard, and I'm dressed as, I guess I'm dressed as Hillary Clinton. Complete with a weapon and everything, so I'll kill you. You didn't have jeans on when you had the loincloth on for the first time No, no when you watch the YouTube version actually we did the 3d modeling and Trey came by and I put this like leather

Garment in between my thighs and so my ass is just gonna be out on the whole ass. Yeah, I love it. I love all ass animated Tim What are you dressed as I am gonna be the dungeon master, but I'm dressed in my range your fit courtesy of Felon fair my my LARPing group that I larp with and this is my favorite costume hell. Yes with the cloak It is a I think a good like dungeon master type fit right here Okay, how big is a LARPing entourage a lot the LARP that I went to a few years or last year was over 300 people We got a lot of LARP before LARPing is great. So much fun. Absolutely. It's like very Game of Thrones.

I was an archer. It was so much fun. Yeah. They do like the entire battles and stuff. Yeah. It's huge battles. It sounds like we should do this. We should absolutely do this summer.

All right. I am Norm the human barbarian. I'm dressed as a firefighter, gay firefighter, firefighter stripper. Yeah. I they've they've spent like I didn't get a helmet, I didn't get a walkie-talkie, I didn't get a hose. Why the firefighter? I don't know, I just, I think the text one exactly,

I was like, Max, I need your costume. And I was like, what's everyone else being? And Max said, Nick is George Washington. I said, cool, I'll be a fireman. Yeah, hand in hand. Hand in hand. Yeah, exactly. We should do the next one as the village people. Yes, you should. But yeah, the helmet I had the helmet on. I couldn't hear anything. So now

I got the bucket. So I'm a Chris Christie vibe. Yeah. The pants don't really work. I'm a firefighter who's like going through NFL training camp. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. We was that guy that Eagles drafted well ago. Pretty much that guy. Are you talking about Tony Danza, the kicker? No, Max, who's the firefighter that you guys took in the first round that retired after like two seasons? Okay, Max doesn't know. Not a real fan.

Not a fake fan. All right. Pat or Tom? Yeah. Pat. Something Irish. Okay. Hank.

I am Erlich, the Eyes Wide Shut Warlock. Whoa, yeah. Oh, yeah. I also ordered a costume on Amazon. Thought I came with a beard, but it didn't, so I had to improvise and found this mask. You have a beard, though. I do have a beard, but not a wizard beard. Yeah.

And even though I'm a warlock. You should have shaved and put on a fake beard. We don't have a beard. That's the same length as yours. Yeah. Okay, so Tim, take us away. No, I do also just want to say, in honor of all of the weapons and stuff that we brought,

it's just occurring to me right now, and I won't forget. I'm going to give each of us one magic item for everything that we have here. For Erlich the Warlock, for the Needler, I'm going to be giving you a Wand of Magic Missile. It looks exactly like the Needler just fires peep peep peep peep peep you little missiles at enemies.

I'm giving you Norm the Barbarian, a armor of fire resistance. There you go, 100%. I'm giving Wayne the bearer of Andrew, Flame of the West, a plus one longsword, and I'm giving plus one daggers, a pair of them to the Paladin. And the cake, I'm seeing that you got some good robes there,

so you're gonna have a plus one robes of protection to add to your armor class. There's he's got a little bit of magic item this time around. I forgot one thing before we start. Truce? Of course. We're this together. I don't plan on killing any of you. I don't want to kill anyone. Team first. I want to put out fires. Team the team the team. Yeah. I'm excited. Truce? Of course. Wow. Fast brothers. Yeah.

OK, let's go. Absolutely. It's cool that Hank got a weapon that shoots needles, and Jake got robes. Yeah. I'm so sorry. I didn't see any swords or anything, so I did the best I could. You're pretty much still Jake.

You're wearing a condom all the time. Yeah. I'm not a champion. Protection all the time. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha that I've been running for them all year, was gonna be the next adventure I would run for you guys. Except that something happened this year that is very big in the D&D community. We had our biggest video game ever come out, Baldur's Gate 3. It has won all the awards, it has become this huge video game,

and so we are gonna play today, in theory, if we all want to, a Baldur's Gate themed D&D game. I trust you, I love that. That's really 100%. It's going to be a little bit different. And I don't think anyone here has played Baldur's Gate 3, but I did do a poll on Twitter.

And apparently a lot of AWLs and AWLs I have run games for are definitely like big fans of this game. So I think they're going to like some of the references. Can we go back and calling them Alls? Alls, absolutely. The Owls. So Baldur's Gate, the video game, comes out in terms of the community,

where like it's just like everyone's talking about it? Everybody's talking about it. I'd say it's bigger than D&D itself right now. And it's gotten so big, it's so exciting. And it's all based off of the D&D rules. So it's literally the exact same game, just played on a computer. And I cannot recommend it enough.

It's the best job they've done, taking the game we know and love and turning it into a video game experience. It's made it so easy, because now I go into games and a lot of people are like, I do Healing Word and I'm like, tier in my life, yes you do, you know it from the game. So it's kind of cool.

And the soundtrack rocks too, right? Oh, it's very good. It has an amazing soundtrack, great characters. We may even meet some of them. It is also a very sexy game. It is a horny game in the extreme and I can't recommend it enough 100%. You can do anything in the game and that spills over into more

than just combat is what I will say. Oh, live action. Yeah, absolutely. Jake, I like your robes. Absolutely. They're going to come in handy, maybe. Who knows? George Washington. They prevent diseases as well. What those wooden teeth do. My first turn, I'm jerk at all.

Absolutely. George Washington would give the worst blow job. Yo, pop the teeth out. That's true. Yeah. Wouldn't he? Gummy it up. What president would suck the best dick? James Madison. Yeah, definitely. Well, no, what about what about London Beach Johnson? Would it be Reagan because he's been taught by the best oh yeah I think he's the best at getting hit well maybe Clinton yeah yeah okay sorry actually Obama right yeah oh yeah I saw the talk about the most and yeah yeah nursing there now our adventure today is to begin in a different spot than usual.

We are already in the middle of the action because we have been abducted. What? In the world of D&D, we were, our last memories are that we were just in our local city having a good time maybe leaving a bar or something like that. And then suddenly in the sky above the city, as people began screaming and pointing up, we saw a giant ship of some kind hurtling through the air above us. It looks like a giant nautilus, like those underwater creatures with tentacles that kind of form like a spiral shell. And this is ship moves through the air, tentacles are coming down out of it. As they reach down towards people, everyone who gets touched by one of the tentacles that kind of form like a spiral shell, and this is, it moves through the air. Tentacles are coming down out of it.

As they reach down towards people, everyone who gets touched by one of the tentacles just vanishes. As we're trying to run away, our last memories are of one of the tentacles reaching down, touching us, and we are gone. Sounds like a smiley face killer. Absolutely.

Suddenly, we are waking up in some sort of glass tube. Each of us is aware that these tubes seem to be embedded in the wall of a giant flying vessel of some kind. We can feel ourselves moving through space. And it seems as though the walls of the ship are biological. It's giving us very like xenomorph alien vibes. The walls themselves are growing tentacles, they seem to be pulsing and we are waking up one by one all of us still with our gear on us. We have our armor, we have our weapons and we are just now coming too as the ship seems to be bouncing around and shaking and there are explosions happening.

This is all we know. What would we like to do right now? Wait, so we're in test tubes? We are in test tubes. Are we in one tube or we in separate tubes? Great question. We're in room on China. Separate tubes.

You can see your companions in other tubes as you're waking up. Each of you is in your own tube. You're also noticing there are six other tubes. Oh, oh, oh. Seem to have other individuals in them whom you do not reckon with. Are they liquid filled tubes? They're not liquid filled. Such a good question.

Oh, that is a good question. That's a good question. Absolutely. I think we've got to get out of these tubes. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Or is there a way where we can try to figure out who is in the other tubes? You certainly can.

In the other tubes, without even getting out of your tube, you can clearly see there are six other tubes. Three of them are filled with, there are three men, three women in the other tubes. Who are you most curious about right now? Yes, please. Oh, yeah. Yeah, PFT, which one are you most interested in?

I'm interested in the guys. Yeah, absolutely. What had you ever said? Who you care about me yet? You are aware that of the three guys in test tubes, one of them is clearly a wizard of some sort, wearing wizard robes and a hat. He's a human, but otherwise looks very similar to cake.

There is another one who has dark skinned and seems their eyes are open and they're kind of still like comatose. And you notice he has a stone eye that keeps moving around of its own accord. And then there is an elven man with white hair and extremely pale skin. Pete Carroll. What about the chicks? The chicks are there seems to be a slow down on this one. Absolutely. First of all everyone here is

super sexy. All six of the test two people they are all super hot and even the ones with low charisma and so the the Elven woman, first woman, has a long black braid that is all bound up, going almost down to her waist. If I may? Yes. Dibs boys. OK, all right.

Absolutely. Absolutely. She seems to be wearing the robes of a cleric of some kind. Oh, nice. You got to know the two. You got to know the two. Damn, you're going to have to go to church. Now, however, if anybody wants to, who's looking at her,

you can make a religion check to see if you can figure out what God does she follow, what God or God is. Because there's gods of like, you know, as we would know them, but there's also gods of war, there's gods of death, there's all kinds of different kinds. How much interest are you in this, in this sex God? Sex God. You don't want to know what God you're... No, no, I don't want to learn about a chick's past, man. You think she's saving herself from marriage? Definitely.

Damn. Yeah, we don't care what God. Absolutely chick's past man. You think she's saving herself from marriage? Definitely. Damn. Yeah, we don't care what God. Absolutely. No worries. Still one God. Next woman is a red-skinned woman with huge black horns growing out of her head. She is a big, muscly woman, very clearly a barbarian,

similar to Norm. She also seems to have fire coming out of her head and like racing all over her skin. I did. It's all you, bro, yeah. Absolutely. Well, I'm taking her for a rod. I'll give her a rod. Absolutely. The final woman is not an elf. She has pointy ears and sort of greenish skin

and we are able to recognize it, especially the people with high arcana like our wizard and warlock, that this is a race called a Gith or Gith young guy as they are sometimes called among themselves. They are in theory people who come from another world entirely a warrior race. So while she's not as big as the red-skinned horned woman, she is clearly some kind of warrior. She's wearing armor of sorts. Are they real or not real? Sorry? Real or not real? Sorry?

Real or not real. The people in the test tubes, they seem very real, just as real as us. They are starting to wake up a little bit. Are they firm, are they supple? Oh yeah, they're very muscular, very tight. Tiny petite, tiny petite. I would say the elven woman with the braid

is a little petite. The gith woman is medium, and then the tiefling woman with red skin is a big muscle. I'm a big woman. Okay. I like that. I want to get out of these tubes Yeah, absolutely 100% who would like to try to get out of the tubes first in theory. I'm wondering what strategy we want to use Yeah, let's go in order. Absolutely. Now. How are you trying to get out of the tube? Doesn't seem like there's any way to open it from inside, but obviously you could try something. You do have a wand of magic missile. Is there anyone outside of the tubes

that are keeping it safe inside? Great question. The only things we see outside the tube are there is some sort of big basin in the middle of this circular room and one door of sorts. And as you're looking like, it looks like a door out of this room,

but there's no handle on it. And it's a shape that we urge you out until you realize you've seen shapes like this before it's a sphincter door. Oh, but wait I have a question before you go Hank it I'm the strongest one here right? Yes that is true. Could I break out of my own as well as the Paladin? Could I break out of my own tube and then break my voice out? Yes you absolutely could. Now I would like to press the're just trying to impress the chick. I would like to. I was going to ask to do an inside check to see if I can sneak out of the tube to get

you guys out to screely because what if you breaking out wakes up the alarm? Okay, all right, yeah, let's do that. Yeah, okay. But just for the record, Big Cat could break it. I could break it out, but you don't want me to. That's fine. I probably could too. I mean, I have spells and shit.

I don't think you can break all of them. You have a Wand of Magic Missiles and other attack spells you could try here in terms of physical strength. I probably could too. I don't think you can break all of our wand of magic missiles and other attack spells you could try here in terms of physical strength it's norm first and then Greg the palette and right after that but like let's keep it low key we don't know who's put we don't know who put us in these two try your sneaky way yeah do some finesse offense inside football insight would be the skill for reading someone else's like expressions and motives if you're trying to do something sneaky that would be stealth

Unfortunately, I don't know if there is a sneaky way that you can do this There doesn't seem to be any lock that you're seeing But you could try to do a sleight of hand check to look for handholds to push this open potentially if you have Do you have the sleight of hand skill by any chance under your skills? Probably not no, then you just have a plus two on this. You could give it a try. That's really the only quiet thing you could do. Is his character much of a reader? Yeah. A little bit, not so much as cake, but... So he doesn't do anything great. Kind of...

He makes infernal deals very well. What's the old saying? The only as strong as your... Weakest link. Oh, weakest link. Okay. Go can say yeah, good. All right. I'll bust out Let me bust out. Absolutely. Are you trying to like bust out with your fists? Are you trying to look for hand? Eldritch blast. Eldritch blast. I love it. Roll a tight win. Roll 2d20s you fire off two Eldritch blasts That would be a two. Oh that first one is just kind of ricochet around I'll be a one. Oh! What a blast! The first beam ricochets all around the test tube

and doesn't break it open. The second one also ricochets around the test tube and then hits you. Oh no! Oh no! You're going to go back for seven plus, I know you add plus three to your damage. I'm marking you down as having 10 points of damage

right now. You just hurt yourself, bro. I'm so sorry. Oh, hey guys, it's okay if I go first. Early good attempt. What has happened? Now, wait, wait. Now that's his turn.

Okay, so I will break myself out and break everyone else out, but a question like, if I'm breaking Erlich out, is that going to hurt him more? Potentially. If you were to, for example, get a one, somebody could get hurt. All right. So why don't I break me out, and then I'll get the three of them,

and then we'll decide. Because you call it a truce with Hank, so you don't want to hurt him. I don't want to hurt him. So we might leave him in the tube. Absolutely. I might not make that a tube. Now, if you could use your blast.

Hey, you're out of your blast, man. Do you try an athletic check? Did you ever d20 you feel as lucky as these dice right here? Absolutely. That's a good one and I'm gonna You got me That's also a good one Absolutely You do think that if you were to rage you would get advantage on this roll I would let you rage against even though there's no enemies. I would let you rage against this tube. Okay. Well, that's not fair

That looks like a 12 to me mm-hmm, and then you roll one more time just see if you do any better than a 12 good roll, okay? Oh 18 okay 18 plus 7 is a 25 total now you needed a 15 or higher to bust out so with the 25 I'm gonna say you bust out of your tube you shatter this almost like Biologically grown glass like material. It's even harder than glass But you send it shattering through the air, you take no damage And I'm gonna let you climb out and free two of your companions. They could be your companions They could also be the six sexy people in the test tubes also. Yeah, which one did you have dibs on?

Black Bray, dude. Don't copy one of the two. Multiplayer and dibs is very important for romance. So can if, hypothetically speaking, Tim, I were to break out black braids. The other gentlemen in the tube, they can see everything that's happening. Yes, they're all waking up. Everybody can see what you're doing. Yep. Okay.

I'm supposed to be an escape from reality. For inside the tube. As a team player, I'm going to break out Erlich and Greg. Absolutely. Thank you. Very cool. Erlich, you get broken. Wait, no, no, sorry.

Sorry. Oh, what the, who's that? Wayne. Wayne. I'm going to bring out Wayne. That's my bad. That seems right. Never bring out Erlich.

Absolutely. You force open the test tube that has Wayne and Greg. Absolutely. 100%. Greg Washington. Washington you two are you three now are free fuck yes boys absolutely have a little fun yeah we put cake in the same tube as early you would have to open up his tube and his tube to do that as far as you can tell unless you have a magic spell that allows you to teleport but that's a fifth-level spell you don't have that yet okay all right so it's me

and the boys right it is you know boys right now I think I might should I just get the girls out like yeah that's good you want to get shake out too because we could use them to maybe yeah you guys what scare the hose no but you always need your highest level spell perfect way man all right I'll let shake out I'll let cake out absolutely How would you like to get his tube open? Are you just using your muscles or you try and something else? Let's see. I'm looking at I have slight of hand. You do have slight of hand. I would let you for especially from outside It's easier. You can pick the lock from outside. Go ahead and roll a d20 plus your sleight of hand

That is a d10 you want a d20 the one with 20 on it That is a D10, you want a D20? The one with 20 on it. Just the fuck up. It's all for this truce. I need to earlick. Oh no. With a one, I am sorry to say. I'm sorry, you can't get tried.

You tried it, it's good. So force open this tube and you pull, and you're like picking it, you're trying to like force it open, and you give it another yank, and you actually stumble backwards toward the big basin of weird goo in the middle of the room.

As you're tumbling towards it, you realize something. It has things swimming around in it. I would like you to make another roll. This is a dexterity saving throw to avoid tumbling into the basin. There you go! You start to pinwheel your arms a little bit. You're about to fall in.

All the weird tadpoles inside begin to congregate near you. Like they can almost like a little piranha, like as you're getting closer and closer to water, and then you catch yourself, you don't fall in. So it's a bunch of goo filled with little tiny tadpole. Little tiny tadpole. Since you noticed this, I would let you real quick just make a history check to see if any memories

are coming back as you look at these tadpoles. It's called the Spank Vic. Yeah. It is viscous, this goo. And what did you, which one? Nine. Nine, and do you have histories of skill by any chance? You do.

Plus four. Okay, with a plus four and nine, with a 13, you suddenly get a flash of memory and anyone here on their turn can make another history check to try to remember more. You suddenly get a memory of when you were in the tube, somebody opening up your tube and you were like, no, no, give me five more minutes. And they grabbed you, they reached into this basin, took out one of the tadpoles,

went to your eyeball, and the last thing you remember was the tadpole leaping into your eye. That is all you know. That's pregnant. Come on, this place. And you have just freed cake. Cake, you are out. How? All the boys are out?

Oh, sorry. You, you, sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You tumbled and did not manage to not fall into the tadpole. So I knew you succeeded on something. I forgot you had not got it. I tried to get you into the tube. You were sorry.

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I think there's something behind our eye. Would you like to make a history check? I would love to make a history check. Absolutely. What do I roll for that? To be a D20 and as a Paladin, you would have a plus three. That's the D20. Bingo, right there.

19. 19 plus three is a 22. You get a much more vivid memory. First of all, you know you've been tadpole as well. In fact, you know every one of us has been tadpole. We have had a tadpole inserted into our eye. It has crawled behind our eye and we think it's burrowing into our,

you can almost feel something in your brain. It's the vaccine. Around. It's the metaphor. They microchipped us. You also get a memory of who did this. A figure looking you dead in the eyes, a squid like head with two eyes, a big like sort of cranium dome and four tentacles hanging down. So Italian is short Italian. This is not an Italian.

You think that this with that history check is a creature in the world of D&D who creates biological flying ships known as a mind flayer Mindflares are one of the most dangerous and well-known monsters in the D&D universe stranger things Exactly. So Jake. Thank you. They are the villain in stranger, and they are also one of the big villains in D&D. You know that in D&D, mind flayers tend to be more humanoid-sized creatures, but still have amazing mental powers of mind control. You also know that tadpoles are how they reproduce. They insert tadpoles into other people and turn them into mind flayers men. We're turning into mind flayers You are turning into mind flayers and I can I do something right now you can absolutely I'm gonna rip out my eyeball. Oh

Yes, go ahead and roll me. We've got mine too. Can I rip out the can I rip out his too? You could you like to try first wait, but we not see after In theory, if you got one on that, you know you'll get disadvantage on ranged attacks due to lack of depth perception, but that's all. Okay, I'll keep my eye on. I'm ripping out my eyes. Absolutely, I would like you first of all

to make a wisdom saving throw to see if you can do this without flinching. Okay, what do I roll for that? A d20, and you get to add plus four to this. 15. 15, that is enough with a 19 total. You are not flinching. Go ahead and just roll me one d20. You're not getting disadvantaged now to yank out your own eye.

Plus five on this 11 11 plus five is a 16. You be are you just reaching with like like a kill bill using my one of my two daggers. Oh, you take one of your magic daggers. That's gonna give you an extra plus one on that. Yes. With a 17, because you're using the daggers, you're able to reach in behind your eye and pop it out. The chicks see?

The chicks do see, you see them like oh, oh, oh. And the priestess with the braid, she's just like, oh, avoiding her eyes. The big red-skinned woman with the horns is like, oh, she's looking and she's giving you the thumbs up right now. It works every time. The gith woman is just nodding

and very impressed with you. Your eye pops out and we can see, as you look around, a little wiggling tail behind your eye. Now I'm gonna tell you one other thing is occurring to you. You do think that with the history check, as it, oh, better yet, it wiggles in your mind, you can feel it moving, and you hear a voice suddenly in your mind.

Stop, leave me alone. I can offer you power. You do love power. Love power. I could give you the power over others. Well, no, let's be careful with your control. Mind control? I like mind control. Your mind is being controlled.

You can feel and they can see the tail of the tadpole is starting to disappear into your brain. You have a choice. Do you try to get it out now? Or do you let it go? Who has the smallest hands of the group? That would be Erlich, the gnome. But he's a tube. Damn.

I mean, you just ripped out your eye. Good for you, you're just gonna like rip out your eye. Right, and then just nothing comes with it. I gotta pull out this tadpole. Absolutely, you can go for it, roll me another D20 to try to pull out the tadpole. So wait, I just might be eyeless with the tadpole still? You might?

Mm-hmm. One. Oh no! Absolutely! Forget it, you reach in and you're like digging around in there. First of all, I didn't give you damage for just ripping out your eye.

That'd be a whole D12 right there. 12 points of damage. And then as you're fishing around in there, it's another D12. Three more damage. So right now you have taken 15 points of damage. Your original hit points are 52. So minus 15 is gonna bring you down to 37 left.

I am sorry to say. I got a lot of self-inflicted wounds going. The boys are going through it. You see all the people in the test tube just like, oh, like one of them starts like gagging a little bit. The very pale elf man is just like, oh goodness. And he like avert his eyes. It's pretty grisly.

Blood's pouring down your face right now. Absolutely. What do the chicks think? The chicks actually, both the tiefling woman with red skin and the gith woman are both like And they kind of look at each other and they're like are you seeing this is a very good I just embarrass myself The two of them are very impressed. They really like it. Yeah, the priestess not so much. She's pretty grossed out

It seems yeah, and cake you are out of the tube right now. What a turn boy You know, I want to be a team player and get our full team out of the tube Absolutely, what I don't want me to know I want you to come out. All right, let's leave him. He'll figure it out No, all right Now I would say you do Have not many skills that would get people out of tubes, but you do have a knock spell which would open We kill the bad people. Sorry we kill the bad people? Sorry? Can we kill the bad people?

But in theory, you know that there are six other people in tubes. You know if they're good or bad. You know that there's all these weird tadpoles in the middle of the room in this basin, and there is a sphincter door leading out of here. You know that this ship must be controlled by evil mind flayers, but you don't see any of them right now. And you would also be like, it's kicking in like, wait, I think they put tadpoles in our head. All right, so let's get out of this area Absolutely 100% as you start to do you start to head for the sphincter door. Yeah, we're not out of this tube yet Oh, I'm sorry. So cake. I thought oh, I'm not out

You do have one spell that could open up your tube if you want to cast that otherwise You can try to force it open, but that would be very difficult to do Yeah, I don't think I'm strong enough for that silly so you cast the knock spell is that right after all? Is that right? I Don't see that I'm giving you the knock spell I was I forgot to give you that and that would be a spell you would definitely have as a wizard So you in theory you're seeing all of them really working hard to force these doors open you just cast a spell We all just see

His test tube opens on its own. And now you can climb out and you can start heading for that sphincter door if you want. So everyone is out now except Erlich. And as you head for the sphincter door, you don't see any kind of handle or any other way to open it. Are you doing anything or are you just walking right up to it?

I'm saying I'm better than you. I'm getting through the story. Absolutely. As you think that thought suddenly it opens up almost like that. That is responding to your thought. Yep. You can see in the next room, there is another sphincter door beyond and there is a humanoid figure lying on door beyond and there is a humanoid figure lying on a table whose head has been cut open and their scalp removed. Their brain is exposed right now. Question. Does this humanoid figure have any extra eyes? They do not. No. This is a human. We need to get me an eyeball. We need to find you an eye. I'm so sorry. They have two eyes. Oh, okay. You can take one of them. And if you want to hear a lie, the best you can tell. We need to get me a eyeball. We need to find you an eye here. I'm so sorry, they have two eyes.

Oh, okay. You can take one of them. And if you look at her live, as best you can tell. Is the one I removed from surgery destroyed beyond repair? I would say so, yeah. How would you describe Erlich's eyes? Are they really good, like, are two of his eyes? Beautiful.

You have to get too much. Actually, he has an ability as a warlock called Devil's Sight that lets him see in magical darkness. And like, can see further than anybody else. I want those eyes. Those are great eyes, actually. I want those eyes. Fantastic eyes.

Real bad. Absolutely. And in theory, those are the eyes that are available. You actually hear another different voice coming from out of that room, but it's another telepathic voice in your mind Help me help me It seems like you think that telepathic voice is coming from the body, but it's not moving at all this body and That was you breaking out with your action and moving into here. Erlich that would bring us around to you again. Let's go Hank

Let's just reset real quick. Let's figure out what's going on here. Because our minds are being controlled by some sort of tadpole that they put in us. So we're all like zombies right now. So what's the goal? Do we want to get everybody in that room out? Or do we want to just get us out and then try to roll up to the front of the ship?

I would like to get the tadpole out of my mind. I don't want to be a sheep controlled by the big tadpole like these fellows fellows. Oh no he got, did you get, oh no you're tadpole. Up road and deep. Oh yeah I would like to get the tadpole out. Absolutely as you start to think that thought your tadpole speaks up, oh but you you're someone who likes power. I can offer you control. I can offer you mind reading. It is trying to tempt you that much as clear as someone who has made deals with devils before.

This would be another deal. That didn't work out for me last time. I just get it out. Absolutely, 100%. How are you gonna try to get it out? Can I, a light crossbow? You could shoot a crossbow into your own eye that would probably destroy the tadpole But could hurt him destroy your brain. Oh, oh, most likely. No, but there's another brain in that other room

It's backup your first move is gonna be suicide I do like how you just said light crossbow. That's the heaviest crossbow. That's a thing, yeah definitely. That's a shot, Hank. It's the second movie. He tried to shoot his way out and it hit him in the ass. And then he's like, well I'm supposed to shoot myself then.

It's over. Give it a shot, Hank. Oh boy, you don't have a knock spell like the wizard would unfortunately. I don't really know what to do here. I don't I can't I can't go over to I'm trying to get out. Absolutely. Can I persuade it out of my mind? You can try that if you would like. That sounds you sounded pretty.

Pretty encouraging there. I'm going to do that. Absolutely. I was going to pick up A D20 plus five. 16. 16 plus five is a 21. As you try to think, get at it. What are you saying into it specifically?

And just get out of my mind? Yeah, leave. Absolutely leave. Go back to your home. With a 21, it begins to laugh at you at first. You can't make me go anywhere. I'm burrowing deeper and deeper into your mind. The only one who could get me out is the person who put me here.

Now, he didn't need to tell you that. You just got him to spill some beans. Can I ask who put me here? Don't you know that already? Don't you remember? And then he feeds the memories back into your mind the memories you had forgotten the mind flayer the tentacle-mouthed Creature that was holding a tadpole and you saw it right before it went into your mind It was like looking up at you like yes, let me at that brain leapt into your eye

Crawled past into your brain the mind flayer might be able to remove it again potentially can ask where he is He'll even tell you that in like a mocking way. He says, trying to fly the ship right now, it seems. And then we feel the ship bump and he goes, but it sounds like someone is making it a little difficult for him. And it seems like the ship is under attack in some capacity as best you can tell.

He is assuring you that the mine flare right now must be at the front, the helm of the ship, trying to steer it at the moment. You could ask him one more question if you have another question. Who is, who are these other guys in the tube? Oh, interesting. Yeah.

Just other adventurers who have been picked up in your city. Who are you most curious about? The red, red skin. The red skin. Absolutely. The mind player says, or say the tadpole in your head says, just give me a moment. And suddenly you feel your mind connect with the red skinned, tiefling woman. Now you're a gnome who made a deal with devils. You recognize this tiefling woman has descended from devils. She is like part

human and part devil and suddenly you get visions of her past. Her name is Carlac. She is a warrior for the devils of the nine hells. When we went to hell and fought devils there, she is one of the soldiers we might have even fought while we were there. And she is kind of dumb a little bit. She's a barbarian and she's kind of like, hey, how's it going? What's up? She's kind of a bro and like just,

here for a good time. But she's not, she doesn't even know how she got here really. And I can talk to her? She looks at you and you know, she just got some of your memories as well. She connects with you and she goes, and you know that she just got some of your memories as well. She connects with you and she goes, and you know that she's signaling that like, you know about devils, same as me.

And in fact, it may be that your patron is also her boss. She fights for the generals of the nine hells, and your boss might is almost definitely one of the generals. We have a lot in common. You have a lot in common, 100%. And she waves it you kind of like very excited. I said good turn, Hank. You're still in the tube and you still have a reptile in your brain. Yeah, you met a dumb chair. Absolutely. That would be your dice roll now and

the but the you did not agree to leave. You don't think you had to unfortunately. And first That is gonna bring us to norm next okay. You like to do. What are we thinking boys? What are we thinking we got to get up the front of the ship? I think right so sphincter is already open right I think there's open we can see the next room we can just go right through this room to the next sphincter door or we can There's a voice that only cake heard and there is a visible corpse with its head sawed open Should we get a cup of goo just in case yeah, hmm get a cup of goo so then we want to take Should we let him out so he's yeah, I feel bad for him Will it waste my turn if I let him out? It would be your action for this turn Yeah, you know I'll let it be your bonus actually can be your bonus action because you're raging already

Yeah, so this way you can do a frenzied attack with your bonus action. You'll still have another dice roll. Okay and what do I need to get to get him out? You just need a 15 or higher and you have advantage on this still so you get to roll two times and you have a plus seven. Man I hope I get a 15. You can get an eight or higher on the die. Hope I get an eight. Four. No but you have a second roll if you want. Does he have to? He doesn't have to, no. 100%.

But wait, if he wastes this action, we can't get a cup of goo. No, you'll still be able to. This is all just the bonus action. All right, so I need to eight or higher. They're gonna 17. That is enough. Absolutely, 100%. You are able to boom, yank this open.

You remember that. Now because you got a 24, I would also let you open one or even two other tubes if you were. At least one other. Well he's got mind control with the red skin. Right? Got a mind connection going on. Commander, sorry. Yeah.

We can use the devil Okay, well, let's let's get her out and then who else About what about Greg's chick? No, oh She doesn't really fuck with me anymore after yeah, I situation. What about one of the other one of the three dudes There is a oh, yeah, oh with white hair There's a guy who's already wizard. Rachel's already bad. A dark-skinned guy with a- We're not gonna get it anywhere.

A stone eye. I kinda like the minty eye. Yeah, the stone eye guy? Yeah. Because at least you have someone that you can sympathize with. Yeah. You got a buddy.

All right, let's get the stone eye guy. Absolutely, 100%. First of all, you open up Carlax Tube. Carlax comes out, oh, thanks so much. It's so good. Oh goodness. She's already annoying me. Oh, I'm dying. I put her back in.

And as she comes out, her skin all bursts into flames. I really had to get that out of my system. Oh, she farted. Hot flashes. Hot flashes. Oh, good. I didn't want to do it while I was still in the tube. Oh.

And put her in the goo. And then you yank open the tube with the guy with the stone eye. And as he comes jumping out, he says, oh, goodness, thank you so much. We have to get out of here somehow. And then he looks at you, Erlich, and you hear him connect in your mind. And he says, hey there, are you a warlock by any chance? Sure am. He kind of tries to do this behind his back.

I'm going to roll to see if any, okay. That's a cocked die right there. I'm going to re-roll that. That's just enough that only you see it early. He conjures up a little bit of fire in his hand so that only you can see. It's an eldritch blast. He's a warlock too. Let's go home. Absolutely. Wait, so I had one more. He says his name's Will,rich Blast. He's a warlock too. Let's go home.

Absolutely. Wait, so I had one more. He says his name's Will, by the way. What, a Billy? I had one more action, right? Can I rage puke the tab pullout? You can try, absolutely. Go for it.

You go to rage puke. I'll give you advantage on that. OK, all right. I'm going to rage puke the tab pullout. Plus four on the constitution. Eugh! Two. Two is not gonna be enough, I'll let you roll one more time. 18! 18!

18! Plus four! You, with a 20 or higher, you try your best to rage puke out the tadpole. The tadpole starts shrieking at you. Wait, wait! I can offer you power! Do you still try to rage puke it out? I think one of us gotta get this tadpole out, right? Just in case. Yeah. Yeah, get the fucking tad you still try to rage puke it out? I think one of us got to get this tab pullout, right?

Just in case Yeah, yeah get the fucking tab pullout rage puke absolutely. I'm gonna allow it 100% Yes And then it goes flying out of your mouth Into the basin splash and it begins swimming around. Oh, no, can we catch it? Oh, yeah, you can try to catch it Go ahead and let me? Oh yeah, you can try to catch it. Go ahead and roll. Yeah, let me catch that. You can puke this thing out. If you get a 20 or higher, yeah. What the fuck? By the way, this is not true in the game. Probably should have thought of that before you took out your eye.

19. 19, you catch it in your hand and immediately it tries to race up your arm to get back into your body. It is doing a pretty good job. It's like the mummy, except instead of going under your skin like the scarabs, it's just quickly moving up your arm and it's trying to get back in through your eye. Roll another d20 to try to stop it. 13. 13 plus two is just enough.

Catch it in your hand. It's wiggling around. I'm just gonna roll, and as long as it does, you super well, it can't burrow. Nope, it doesn't burrow into your hand. You've got your tadpole clenched down. All right, so we got a tadpole, boys. We got a tadpole.

10% love it, absolutely. Does he feel any different? Yeah. Do I look skinnier? You don't know, but in theory you're a lot more clear. That's true. Actually, the amount you puked 100% you're feeling pretty good. You're feeling hungry now. Yeah, okay.

Absolutely. And you are, you're looking good. All right. I have a question for you. So I have a plus five on performance here. One thing I know about like lizards and amphibians They've got ears that like connect directly to their brain Mm-hmm. Could I could I sing a note so high that the vibration of it kills? Everyone's tadpole you have kind of a counter-traumatability and that's similar to what you're describing I'm gonna let you try that you can make a perform check to play like the,

not the brown note, but the worm note as a word that will destroy worms. I'd like to destroy every worm except for the one that Norm has in his hand because I feel like we can do it now. Oh, we're gonna test it. I'm gonna say this though, you don't have a way to control which unless, mm, you know what?

If you try to cover up your worm as much as possible We don't know if you did a good job covering it until you already try this. Okay, we want to take that risk Yes, I'm willing to try absolutely I'm sorry to say that you try to play the note Yeah, and you hear your worm and all the other worms, including the one in your hand, start like bopping out to the music and all the other people still in the test tube start like bopping out. Their worms are enjoying the music as well and they start like trying to hold their heads. It's obvious the Gith woman starts freaking out. She's like, oh,

get this thing out of my head. And suddenly we remember Gith really don't like mind flayers, is what I would say you. I've always said that. Should we? Typical Gith. So is that my full action? I'd say actually that's your bonus action. You can do an action still.

All right, so for the real action, I feel like we got to go through this door. We got to see the guy that's got his head cut off. Absolutely. Yeah, that guy. As soon as you start even looking in that direction you hear, help me, help me, please. I'm in the head. It's me. I'm the one in the skull. OK. I think we got to in that direction here. Help me, help me, please, I'm in the head.

It's me, I'm the one in the skull. Okay, I think we gotta rip that one out. That's like another worm that we can have. Okay. Or do we experiment and put that one in? Or is that what they want us to do? What if we put your worm into the guy's head with the other worm and see what happens.

Maybe we'll fight each other. A dam's willing to stress disguise. I'm down. I'm trying to... You want my worm? Yeah, can we put his worm into the other guy's head and see what his worms do? As you start to approach, make a knowledge check real quick for me. This is a arcana check.

You have a plus four. Okay, with a 15, you notice that the brain that is visible at the top of his skull where it's been sawed off looks swollen. It looks like it's too big and it wiggles slightly. JFK? You think it's somehow alive this brain here and you could grab his worm and try to walk over with it. Here should I do that? Okay I'll take the worm. Careful cover it up. I'll walk over with it and then I'd like to hold it right above the other person's brain to try to lure the other worm out. Mm-hmm.

You hold it there, the worm in your hand, first of all, roll and make sure nothing bad happens when you take the worm. Okay, that's a 17, nothing bad happens. You got the firm grip on the worm, the worm starts to reach towards the brain and then it stops and goes, hmm, and kind of goes limp. Like it's like, forget it.

And then you realize that that brain is wiggling so much Like it's trying to climb out of the skull. You don't think it's an ordinary brain at all It doesn't have a worm in it It's something else entirely and suddenly with your 15 before you remember mind flayers make creatures called Intellect devours that look like little brains that crawl around on four legs that look like little brains that crawl around on four legs. You think you get a glimpse of a little leg inside that skull. Let me out, let me out please. Okay, so that brain is actually its own creature.

It's its own creature. Exactly right. You are realizing that just barely with a 15 now. All right. And it seems like the tadpole doesn't wanna go in. There's no tadpole in there right now and your tadpole isn't interested. It tries to get back into your brain,

and you're holding it for a grand-pigeon. In fact, do you know this? Even though you have a tadpole in your head, this other tadpole is trying to still get into your head. Okay, all right. So is it Greg Stern? I would say you have approached it, but you haven't done an action yet.

It just kind of went limp at the tadpole, and this brain creature, this intellect devourer, is saying, let me out of here All right, so do we want to get the brain? Should we get the brain out? We should carry the brain. Yeah by the flares That's not a brain at all. You know that this is a creation of the mind flares So we ignore the brain eat it. There's another sphincter, right? Or is another brain you can walk right now

I want to throw something in the hungry you want it Should we throw the brain in the goo the brain in the goo? We can throw the brain in the goo. it? Should we throw the brain in the goo? We can throw the brain in the goo. Absolutely. So you go to reach and pull it out. You can make an acrobatics or a sleight of hand check to try to pull this. I've got plus five. Yeah, absolutely. You're great at this. That is a cock to die. I'm going to have you to re-roll that.

17, Tim. There we go. You try to get the brain out. You start damaging it. It tries to help you. There we go. Ooh! You try to get the brain out. Indie rigged. You start damaging it. It tries to help you. It's giving you a re-roll.

Ow, you're hurting me! Try one more time. It's trying to... Uh-oh. What with authority? Shut up, Bax. With only an 11, it starts to scream, You're hurting me!

You're hurting me, brothers! And suddenly, from the ceiling, a brain with four legs drops down onto the ground. On one of the walls, suddenly crawling out of a nearby orifice, another intellect devourer comes out. They are closing in on you. Sorry guys, this is bad vibes.

This is bad vibes. Oh yeah. Intellect devourers, and I'm gonna roll them into initiative. They're going one to, they're This is bad, Bob. This is bad, Bob. This is bad, Bob. This is bad, Bob. This is bad, Bob. This is bad, Bob. This is bad, Bob. This is bad, Bob.

This is bad, Bob. This is bad, Bob. This is bad, Bob. This is bad, Bob. This is bad, Bob. This is bad, Bob. This is bad, Bob. This is bad, Bob.

This is bad, Bob. This is bad, Bob. This is bad, Bob. This is bad, Bob. This is bad, Bob. This is bad, Bob. This is bad, Bob. This is bad, Bob. This is bad, Bob. This is bad, Bob. this and then they go after cake. No, okay, cake was the only one who was possibly close by.

No, they both miss you, well done. And they're racing towards you firing these blue beams of energy, then the other one, the one who you are trying to free tries to climb out. He frees himself. You see his legs rip out of the skull. He pushes himself free. He lands on the ground and begins growing tentacles

out of his body. He shoots a blue beam out at you and this is as well You're dodging and ducking and weaving all of these beams You don't know what they would have done But they don't look good and that is your turn at this return bringing us to Greg next We're going to get back to D&D in a second. It's brought to you by visible Draining a half-court buzzer beater to win the game, not easy. Switching to Visible and saving on wireless with no hidden fees? Yeah, that's pretty easy.

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Boys, this is a team game. Should we run? Let's run through the other sphincter. Yeah, we might wanna run. We might wanna be on towards the other sphincter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I will point out they will follow you potentially. They could follow you.

You don't know that they will or not, but they could follow you through that sphincter door. Well, they- You could just keep running full speed and hopefully outrun them. They were very adverse to the worms, right? The worms weren't interested in that, it seemed. Do we know who's the slowest amongst us?

That would be you and Erlich. Ooh, that's a surprise. So I'm strong and fast. Who's the shortest? You are actually, my variants have extra speed. That's a hell of a combo Yeah, I'm gonna run to the sphincter absolutely you run to the next sphincter door They're turning and watching you these brains on legs and as you run for the sphincter door

It's just shut right now. I'm I have a popper with me As you throw it at the... It just suddenly like... And it starts flapping a little bit. Like it's real loose right now. And as you see through that finkter door, you can see more people on slabs. There is also creatures flying around in here. There is a hole in the wall, and you can see flames billowing through the hole in the wall.

And outside it is just a landscape of fire outside. Okay, it's a bad room. It's a really bad room. You can see another tunnel leading out of here. I am a firefighter. Is there a tunnel? Absolutely. There's another tunnel leading out of here. I am a firefighter. Absolutely. There's another tunnel leading out of here.

There is a console in front of the three people who are on slabs. Their heads are not sought open, and there is some sort of machine that they have been positioned around in three equidistant spots, forming a triangle around them. And then in front of the first one you can see, there is a console with three buttons and three symbols. You cannot read what the symbols are I'm gonna press one of the buttons absolutely you run up

There is a left button a middle button and a right button what button you press boys You can also try What button do you think left left? Left you press the left button There are sparks on the machine, and each of them shakes a little bit, the three people on the slabs, but nothing happens. Make an arcana check to see if you know

what might have transpired right there. This is just a D20 plus zero. Six. You don't know exactly what transpired right there, but that button didn't seem to really do anything. There's a middle button and a right button still. And I have another action. That barely count as an action.

Oh, I should press them all at once. You could press all three. My forearm? Yeah, I would like to do that. What's that? I'll press all three. You press all three. So which one do you press next?

I use my forearm and press them simultaneously. You press them at the same time. Absolutely. Immediately, they all sit up and in unison say, attack, attack. They have wires coming out of their head and then all of a sudden they instantly spark and die I gotta say I'm mad that Baldur's Gate doesn't let you press two buttons at the same time. That was frickin genius Thank you so much. That was really good. You did the boom right there. Absolutely.

Love it. And so immediately those three figures just fall dead to the ground and you can see that there are these creatures flying around in the air. They look like a creature that you have seen accompanying Erlich. They look like imps. Little devils that swarming in, Lola the imp, swarming in through the cavity in the side of the wall. They are looking at you, they hiss, and they begin getting ready to swoop down. They're going to do so after earlick's

turn, but not before. And so we've got some imps, and then we've got intellect of hours that are going to be going after Wayne's turns. Oh, Mr. Vowers. Got a lot going on, boys. Got a lot going on. Absolutely. Now, that was only your bonus action. You still have an action right now, if you would like to do something else.

Um, I will heal myself, please. Oh, yes, absolutely. You can use your Lay on Hands ability, and you have at level six up to 30 points. You could just give yourself half of those, 15 points, and you could be back up up to 30 points. You could just give yourself half of those 15 points Yeah, back up to 15 100% put yourself back up to full hit points and you my eye doesn't grow back does it? Actually roll me a d20 if you're gonna 11 or higher your eye grows back. Oh

Ten Ten. Ten! Ah, yes! Oh my! Keep a whileers! Keep a whileers! But it's milky! I have a real milky eye! 100%! Oh, gross! We all the warlock we freed goes, hey, pretty cool look. Yeah.

It gives you a 30% chance. A real milky eye. Absolutely, that milky eye. Absolutely. And that'll bring us to you next. Cake, cake, what would you like to do? I would like to sacrifice my eye and give it to my friend, Greg. No, no, no! don't read your eyes.

He's got a cool look. Wait, I'll take it. But I'm the smartest one. I could go without an eye, right Tim? I guess so. Yeah. It makes perfect sense. I'm sorry.

Absolutely. So I'll let you. I mean, in theory, you'll still have like trouble seeing things further away, but it's an elf who have naturally good perception, so that'll just kind of counteract it maybe. Go ahead and roll, you can either surgically remove the eye and give it to him, or you can use your magical skills and that would be arcana. That's probably better. Go ahead and roll a d20 plus arcana. Alright.

It's magical. 12. 12 plus 5 is 17. Now I'm gonna let you roll a d20. Are you taking this eye from him? I'm refusing the eyeball. Oh, you're using the abs. We're out of match. Is the eye already out?

Did he take his eye out? You're refusing it before he takes his eye out. That we're both here without a match. You didn't ask if I wanted your eye. Yeah, no consent. Good call. You've removed your eyeball. I hardly know you.

That's a really big gift. So what am I doing now? You're holding your eye. Oh, I lost mine too. I'm just out. I'd let you try to reinsert it, but that would be another Arcana check. All right, let's do it. If he doesn't want it, I guess I'll take it. Roll me another Arcana check. This is all just your bonus action, I'll say. 17. 17 plus Arcana plus five is absolutely enough. As long as you got a 20 or higher, you reinstall

your eye. So I tried helping my teammate out. He didn't want the help. It's your bonus action right there. Yeah. Yep. Mm-hmm. Yeah. What would you like to do with your action?

I have a plus seven investigation. I'd like to learn maybe more about those three things we killed. Absolutely. Sorry, the three figures who were on the slabs, 100%. Go ahead and make an investigation check. One. Oh no, as you are trying to investigate it, you like reach for some of the wires

and try to like examine them. Immediately sparks begin to fly off. I'd like you to roll a D20 dexterity saving currency. 11. 11, and you only have like a plus three at best. That was not a 15 or higher. We're gonna be taking two of these dates ten points of Lightning damage from the court as they electrocute you that's gonna bring you down to

28 out of 38 hit points. Fortunately. You are one of the squishiest among us That makes sense. Yeah. Oh, yeah, and so that was your action trying to examine that earlick You were the only one still in the tube. Oh, I got them out. That's right 100% apologies. I didn't mark sorry mark down You're any out of the two. I need you to give me credit for that. We did. Absolutely. Yes. I would like to give Greg my eye Just this is I secret Santa, I love it 100% and so go ahead and how are you doing that? like crossbow I Mean I'd say using a light crossbow bowl Really good. What can your guide pop it out?

And the light cross after reading his sheet after one move Yeah, and he does it well Are you trying to fire the light crossbow or just take a light crossbow bolt to pop your eye pop it out? Pop it out absolutely. This will be a slight of hand the white one. Yeah case. Yeah, okay D20 yeah D20 plus like five I think I got two you okay? No, um you are definitely hurting yourself I'm sorry to say that was you were you said you yep like crossbow, so I'm gonna give you the light crossbow damage on that But not double it That's just five points of damage in all

Ehrlich that's gonna bring you down to 30 out of 45 You're at two-thirds of your health left and that was your action anything with your move or bonus action I'm almost actually just do it again. I'll let you try it again. Yeah, try it again. Get that eye out. Alright, let's try it again. Absolutely. I tried the short sword this time. Yes, that would be a better weapon for doing that when I'm...

I had a sword the whole time. What's your attack bonus with your short sword? Uh, damage 1d6 plus 2. What does this say right before that? D20 plus... 1d20 plus 5. 5, absolutely. I'm gonna give you advantage on this since you're using a melee weapon as opposed to

20 amazing 100% you are popping your eye out and then the moment you do it flies out and hovers in the air It turns to you and your patron says You're closer to me than you've ever been How did you get to my section of the nine hells? It's speaking to you through your eye, your patron. And he says, I'm sorry, did you tear out your eye for a reason, did you want to give it to someone?

I'll help you. Yeah, I'd like to give it to Greg. It flies towards Greg, Greg. This eye isn't even, he's not even asking you, it's just flying towards your eye socket and with a critical hit, it even grows like the optical nerves like tentacles Oh, yeah hits you in the eye and crawls in tearing out your regrown milky eye and

Replacing it with a no mish eye. What color your eyes blue blue. So you got this new blue eye Yeah, suddenly you can see in the dark when you shut this What a good friend you are yeah that's huge absolutely well done good move right there I like it early all right that is gonna bring us to you next I feel the vibes I feel well now Hank doesn't have an eyeball wait no hold on see I had a rage pee I feel the vibes are really high right now and like everyone's helping each other so I want to help give me your arm no I I want to the stone I guy he's been stuck this whole time so I want to help give me your arm. No, I I want to the stonai guy

He's been stuck this whole time. So I want to take earlix eye and swap it with the stone. Okay, absolutely So earlix got one eye right now. Yeah His head and then our stonai guy will have two eyes. Do you tell him I'm getting you an eye? Yeah, bro. I'm gonna get you an eye guy. I got an eye guy. He starts to already say like I actually don't this is part of a deal that I made with a it's not important, but this is okay, and he's not even Asking you to stop you can absolutely take her life. I if you want now earlick. Are you letting him do this? No, I'm just gonna do it. I just want to make sure you're resisting this is right that right or early Nah, you can have

Just roll an athletics check and you have advantage on this. Okay, 12. You have one more roll if you want. It's already going to be enough though, but let me see if you crit. Was it a cocktail? In theory, that did look kind of like a cocktail to me. So let's roll it again. Okay, so we'll ignore that six. We'll take the 12 plus seven is a 19.

You are able to tear his eye out. Awesome. And then you are able to bring it over to Will. And Will keeps waving his hand. He's like, I really don't need this eye. No, Will, no. You're taking this eye, bro. I suppose as long as he pops his stone eye out.

It floats there for a moment. Just like Erlich's eye did, he takes Erlich's other eye, inserts it in, and goes, I mean, this is pretty cool, I guess. And he looks around. I can see in the dark, thank you. And he just pockets his stone eye. Oh, I need that! You want it?

Yeah, I'm gonna put it in his head. Make a persuasion check on him right now. You gave him an eye and he pocketed his spare? I didn't know you wanted the stone eye. He explains to three, you actually have minus one on persuasion. With the two, he says, I can't tell you why, but I need this stone eye.

I can't give it to him. Now, Erlich, do you say anything? I let you talk as a reaction, even though it's not your turn, to say something here. And you're blind right now, so you're just kinda trying to look in the direction you hear the voices.

How do a hellish rebuke? You haven't been attacked. The only person you could... I just took my eye hear the voices. I do a hellish rebuke You haven't been attacked The only person you could elish rebuke is no or you said it was fine You need to get that fucking stone dude that stone has something to do with it or something mystical the fact that he pocketed is bad, but Get that stone. How can I get that stone? You could either try to swipe it for me. What about the I do a major about the bow You could use major that would give you either try to swipe it from him. What about the bow? I do a main chain. What about the bow? You could use a main chain that would give you advantage

on swiping it from the light crossbow. All right, light crossbow. You also could try to persuade him. Norm tried, but only got a two. You could try to tell Will listen. I want him to shoot the crossbow blind. Yeah, let me just... Ha!

Let's do a light crossbow. I'll try and shoot his pocket so he hits the eye. I'll try and shoot his pocket so it hits the eye. What the hell? Trying to fire it will, is that right? The guy who will give you his stone eye. Out of the pocket with the eyeballs. It is stone eye, is that right?

Out of his pocket. Penetration of the stone. No, it hits underneath the stone and then pops out of his pocket. If it critical hits, yes, I will say it knocks it out of his pocket. It won't destroy the stone for reasons we may get into but you you If you hit it, then I will say it knocks it out of his pocket. All right What do I need to hit it you I would say you need no 18 or higher Six on this

13 13 well sorry you had a 13 on the die is is that right? A plus six is gonna be a 19. That would be enough, but here's the problem. You have disadvantage because you are blind right now. And you are firing in the direction you can hear the voice. Roll one more time and take the lower number. So far you're succeeding. If you can get another 13 or higher, you're good. Or...

20! Yeah! Absolutely! So you do take the lower number, it's not a crit, but you shoot your light crossbow, it hits his stone and tears a hole in the bag he just tried to put it into, it falls out. It doesn't like, a critical hit would have made it fly through the air, it falls out, it starts rolling and I'm gonna roll if I get a six, it's towards you. It's directly towards Erlich right now.

Erlich, I would let you try to roll to scoop it up, but you have disadvantage But before you do that, um, scoop up a stone is a blind guy Times the lower number. I'll just take norm. Were you trying to scoop it up first? This don't I or you let it roll towards him. It might be heavy. I would rather you get I'm alright. I'll scoop it I'm absolutely a little bit disadvantage. I'll scoop that shit. I can't see What do I need? Really just a 15 or higher. Yes 14 plus your athletics is enough as long as will doesn't beat you will's running for the eye That's a cocked die not enough. Nope. You grab the eye So you currently have it earlicks looking around on the floor wheels like I need that that's

That's part of a deal that I made with someone and it's very important. If I don't have that eye, I could get in huge trouble. And you see him try to like point at you, like I need to, and fire begins to build up in his eye and then you see it flicker and die. And he tried to conjure fire in his hand and it just flickers and dies away. And you're like, do you please, I need that.

No, I got that now. Yeah, that's not it. Absolutely, you got this stone eye. I'm gonna roll to see how upset he is now. No, that was a cock die, let me see. No, he's just angry at you, but he's not lunging to try to grab it. That's a you problem.

That's right, that's right. Absolutely, 100% norm. You still have an action, I'd say what do you want to do? What do you guys want to do? I think we should fuck up these brains that are crawling after us. Okay. Yeah, let's fuck them up. Yeah, let's fuck them up. 100%. Yeah, absolutely. As you are raging already, you can run up to one of these brains. You attack the brain that

crawled out of the head or you attack one of the other two brains. Wait, say it again. There's one of the intellect of ours crawled out of the skull and then there Intellectivours crawled out of the skull, and then there's two others that crawled out of the like, ceiling and out of the wall. Just quick question, because I, PFT, maybe I'll lean on you to tell me which one we want to attack, but how, how, could I kill Hank?

Yeah, so I was thinking, so Hank's gone, I have, I have Fireball. Good, he's blind. You have advantage. I have Fireball, so if you want, if you want to do something to get tank now It's a great time then on my turn. I let's not Into like a welcome Matt. Let's take off his legs and arms. Yeah, okay 100% so are you going reckless on this? Yeah, 100% he's blind that means you get to roll three times and take the highest number 14 so far 10 and

22 So far. 10. 10. 20. 20. That's not a cocked eye. That is a natural 20 right there. Absolutely. With a critical hit, you're almost like lining up the shot like everyone see this and he's like, I can't find my glasses. And like you just are going for the decapitating blow.

You're using your grade ax, that's 1d12. It's a critical hit. It's 2d12. You get to roll all of that again. Can we tell how you can tell it's a certain percentage? Wait, you're dead man. That's seven, plus, it's just those two. So seven plus, oh apologies, no, you're using a great,

are you using a great sword or a great axe? Great sword. Okay, then my mistake, you would actually be rolling this two times. So nine so far, and then roll again. Nine plus eight is 17 plus another six is gonna be 23 damage. He's down to seven left. Okay.

And then you can roll a second attack if you wish. Okay. Okay, against the target. Yeah, against the target. Absolutely. Just roll three times against the target. These? No, you would roll the d23 times Yeah, okay miss

That's it that's a hit with an 11 so far what You have hit but not crit for another Great six. Yep, plus six down a lot of rolls. He's got seven left for four That you that's all you're rolling for plus six is ten in all that is a knockout blow okay, and he is unconscious Tim who's he what oh hey Hank? Or hey early absolutely Ehrlich I am sorry to inform you that you have just been knocked I'm sorry to inform you that you have just been knocked unconscious to the ground. You don't know who attacked you.

You don't know. You are blind. We're going to hit him in the head. We're going to hit him in the head. You could have been in a head. Erlich was blind in the corner taking a piss and just got bodied by somebody. He was doing the Velma on the ground and then just, and you were, with a critical hit that was an arm or a leg that got chopped off. Let's go with the leg. I'd say both legs. Oh

both legs. Okay great. Both legs. Can I can I I know I know don't have any actions left but is there any like can I console or like? Oh yeah. He's unconscious right now. I just pet his hair. Like the Pieta like. Yeah just pet his hair like hey baby I don't know who hurt He's unconscious right now. I just pet his hair. Like the P.A. to like other guys. Yeah, I just pet his hair like, hey baby, I don't know who hurt you. 100%. Everybody in the tubes is like, what the fuck? You hear the intellect of ours. Guys, I like each other.

What's going on, says one of them, and the other one's like, I don't know, but I think we maybe we should just, and I'm gonna roll all the intellect of ours. One of them is just like, I don't know what's going on, but I'm getting out of here. And one of the intellect of ours One of them is just like I don't know what's going on, but I'm getting out of here and one of the intellect of ours just runs away He's so confused. There's only two intellect of ours. That's a good strategy It's actually a great strategy Wayne you would be up now and then the intellect of ours are gonna get a chance to do something

Okay, I think we got to fuck up these brains. Mm-hmm. So we'll keep fucking up these brains, that's what I was doing. No, the targets. Yeah, yeah, the targets. But it seems like they were afraid of the violence we had with each other. Yeah. It was a good strategy, actually. Yeah, that was. They got very confused.

I wouldn't say they're scared, more like, maybe we don't have to do anything here, maybe we just leave and like, this problem will take care of itself. So I can cast a spell. Could I cast a spell at the target? Like, if there was an unconscious target, could I cast a spell at the target? Like if there was an unconscious target, could I cast a spell on that thing to make it have nightmares? Yes. So, okay. You're thinking of the spell Disn't Whispers, is that right? Which spell were you thinking of? Yeah, maybe that one. Just something like, let them have a really,

really unconsciously. You're unconscious and have no legs and no eyes. Snap. Sorry, one second. He could have done a hellish rebuke after the first attack. Oh, but he doesn't know who attacked him. He doesn't know who attacked him. So this is a moment of truth. I will look up the spell Heller's Shrebuke. If it says that you need to see the target, then you are not

allowed to do it. I feel like you have to see the secret. It almost always says that you can rebuke. You point your finger in the creature that damaged you Okay, it says just said he didn't know you point your finger in the creature that damaged you is momentarily surrounded by a hellish flames I will let you roll a he doesn't know I'll let you roll a d20 to point your finger in the right direction But it's a completely wild chance. You need to roll me a d12 That's this one and if you get a natural 12, you get it.

Thank you. You got a 12? Yeah, I mean, it's a guess. You have a one in 12 chance. You have no legs, no ox. Eight. No, you fire up Elisabeth. It was in the wrong direction, unfortunately.

Did it hit PFT? It does not hit anybody, unfortunately. That's a good try, though. And yeah, PFT, Wayne would be up right now. Yeah I want to give him nightmares. Absolutely 100%. I'll say that can affect him. You're doing Disney whispers. Now I do want to point out that means that he will basically if three things hit him then he's dead. If you get into melee and hit him in melee that counts as two hits not one

If you do this mental attack that will count as one hit I don't know three guys or might actually be the better strategy. I don't know if I want to kill him I just want to make him have a bad time absolutely 100% Whispers then he'll have a bad time. You might wake us. You might wake up soon. He'll be pissed. Yeah, let's take his tongue The BFT make make him make him dream that he lost his light crossbow Worst dream possible. Yeah, we convinced him that he did this to himself. Oh Yes Gaslight own fault. Yes. Absolutely 100%

So you're casting the spell on him. Is that right? Yeah, I'm gonna say that while unconscious I will let you roll one saving throw eyes and no eyes and no legs. And no eyes and no legs. Blind, legless, unconscious, or like please do roll 1d20. Normally you would have advantage on saving throws against this as a gnome, but since you're unconscious I'm going to say that cancels out. And you just have one save throw. Do you not have eyes in real life either?

Why do you do that? The mask is actually working very well for this. He took out his own eye. 18. Oh, dang, with an 18. That is enough that suddenly in your dream, a light crossbow appears trying to chase you and you're like kind of dodging the shots

as they're coming at you in this dream. So. Does he have legs in his dream? In his dream, he does this. Okay, all right. That's 100%. That's good. So when he wakes up, he'll be disappointed.

Absolutely, he will be, yeah, absolutely. Okay, what do So when he wakes up, he'll be disappointed. Absolutely. He will be. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. What do I have left? You have done your action, so you have your bonus action. So my bonus action, I could cast another spell, right? You could do a bonus action spell or inspire somebody.

So your bonus actions are right here. You could either cast a bonus action spell like healing word to heal somebody or you could inspire somebody. I could inspire an ally. Absolutely. Inspiration means that on one d20 roll they get to add a d8 and try to boost up that d20 roll a little bit better. Yeah.

Whenever they want to use. Just gassing up your boys. Absolutely. Exactly. What about the what about the stone eye guy? If we gas them up could he tell us what the stone is? Well, I think that helps him. It was help him do.

I would say that if you give him inspiration It'll give him the opportunity to use inspiration on a dice roll But also it will make him like you more and I would let you do a persuasion So I could do that or I could gas up Greg and whatever Greg does on his turn is gonna have bonus. That's true All right. Yeah, I like that super Greg. Yeah, it's like it's Katie and Drey Mon great. Yeah, Greg Well, you got this you got three G Greg. Yes, Greg with three G. Yeah, okay. Yeah, it's like it's Katie and Dremon. Great. Yeah, Greg. Well, you got this. You got three G Greg. Yeah, Greg with three G Yeah, okay. Yeah, I want to do that. I always say there's two types of Bards They're either playing music to inspire people or they're like a coach and they're going go get him Tiger

So what are you saying to him exactly to inspire him? I'm saying hey motherfucker. You got this That works. Yeah. Yes. I am marking you down as having Bartek inspiration Greg and. And whenever you want to use it, you can do it after you've rolled. So if it's like, oh, a 12, but you needed a 15, then you get to roll the D8 and add that on and hope to get three or more. So you get to do it retroactively. So well done, Wayne. However, Wayne, after your turn, that is when the intellect devours are going to be running toward us again. They are going to go after... What what you think is the slowest one now It would be you unfortunately, but I've laid no he has no legs I mean, oh, yeah, we slowest one would definitely

I meant of the people who are conscious right and you have legs yeah, but people who can move you are the slow We could pull definitely slowest person everyone who has two eyes and two legs Yeah, okay, just, alright. Okay, I'm sorry to say that first Greg, an attack is coming at you as one of the intellect of ours, comes bounding towards you. And Greg, your armor class is higher than a 16. He got a 16 just barely. This beam goes towards you and it glances off

of your helmet you're doing okay. And then Wayne, one attack is definitely coming after you because you were the one who tried to free the brain and then made it mad, I believe, is that right? Yeah, I got the stuff. Sure, okay. 14, I believe does not hit your armor class. Nope, it is 17, well done, okay. 14, I believe does not hit your armor class. Nope, it is 17, well done, excellent.

And then that is gonna bring us from the intellect of ours to Greg next. Then the imps are gonna go after that. I feel like we're kinda lost right now. There's imps above us. Yes, they're about to go right after your turn. Oh boy. And there is another hallway leading out of the room

with these three dead people and the imps in the previous room with the intellect of ours. And Ulrich is, he's not deaf yet, is he? Ulrich is, he's not dead. He's, sorry, Ullich is not deaf. No. Okay. We wouldn't want that. Is there any like deaf spells?

Death spell or deafness? Yeah, I would like to see. Absolutely. There is a deafness spell. I do. Paladins cannot cast. Okay. Unfortunately.

We're about cutting ones ears off. Yes. So here, if you don't have ears, probably not as well. Um, let's run to the hallway. Absolutely. Yes. Can you still hear if you don't have ears? Probably not as well. Let's run to the hallway. Absolutely, 100%. As you run towards the hallway, intellect of ours are chasing you, imps are chasing you,

you go up this spiral, not a staircase, but it sort of arcs upward, and you can hear a lot of commotion beyond one more sphincter door. But it's the biggest one you've seen yet. And the battles that sound like they're happening beyond this door sound like they are crazy. Something big is happening beyond this door.

You remember that you need to think this door open. You haven't done that yet. I have to think it open? You have to think the thought to open the door. Okay, I don't think we're ready yet. Mm, absolutely. You can make a perception check as a bonus action to listen, you would have a plus five on this.

Actually plus four. That's 20. D20 plus four. It's a two. With a six, you don't know any more information other than it's a big battle. You could try again with your action, then that would be our whole turn though.

Is there anything in this room in front of the door? Nothing in front of the door, no. I'd say no, with that perception check you don't know anything in front of the door. No. Hmm. Fellows, what are we thinking? I'm thinking that unconscious. To get this reptile out of our brain we probably have to kill like the person that put the

reptiles in our brain. That's right. Right? Yes. And then all the rest will die you think? That's what I think. Work like that. We still have one right? We still have one in our head. We ain't even the last one holding it. Yeah. Yeah. We could figure out what like can we torture it? Or have it lead us to its home? Just drop it on the ground? I don't know. Can we make a leash? Yeah I would like to make a worm leash absolutely go ahead and with your action make a worm leash

This will be a d20 plus your I rolled a fucking four You never mind then we won't worry about what the bonus was it was not enough you try to make a little worm leash Now you were just trying to make it you weren't like letting the worm go and trying to catch it, right? No, I'm still firmly in the short actually since you were holding it in your last turn Wayne Just roll me a d20 as long as you don't get a one nothing has happened with the worm You're fine. Absolutely. You got a firm grip on the worm your attempt at making worm leash You hold it up. It's like a teeny tiny little dental floss noose You're like will this work and we're all like no you're pretty sure it won't that was

Unfortunately not a successful action, but that will lead us to the imps next. There are a total of three imps that are gonna come swooping down at us, and the first one is gonna be attacking Wayne. Wayne, as one of the imps swoops down, it gets tangled. What do you have in your hands?

You got the sword, right? The tadpole. The tadpole, absolutely. It soups down, kind of crashes into your shoulder and flops onto the ground, and the tadpole's trying to go for that imp. Do you let it go or no? What do you think?

Should we let the thing attack? Well, what if we let the tadpole go in the imp and then the imp walks us there? So it's almost like a human leash. We could just use a regular rope. We also have those in our own brains too. True. But we, oh man, this is tough.

But you don't want it to lead one of yourself. I think it's more valuable that we have a tadpole. Yeah, absolutely. That makes a ton of sense. It would have probably gone into the imp, and then we would have lost control over it. Good job. And so that imp completely missed.

It gets up and tries to fly away. The next imp is going to be swooping down towards Erlich, actually, his unconscious body. An imp is going for it. Imp's are particularly cool. I'll just go this way. You can't see them coming, right? You can't see them coming. Exactly. This imp would have advantage normally,

except that as it tries to get its advantage for him being blinded, suddenly an invisible shape, soups in, tackles that imp, and they begin fighting. We don't see what the imp is fighting, but everyone here, besides Irle, can roll a d20 real quick to see if you can remember what would be going on here. He is unconscious. Oh, yeah, unfortunately. And he's also blind and legless. Fuck.

I keep forgetting. We're going to, like OJ, we're going to find the killer, just so you know. OK. 15. With a 50? And you have a plus zero on intelligence so that is still enough with a 15 to remember Lola.

Lola is still around right now. She's been invisible this whole time, and she's an imp, so she's fighting imp versus imp right now. And this is- So on our side. Mm-hmm. Well, she seems to be protecting Erlich at the moment. So she is defending Erlich,

she prevents that imp from hurting him. She's not doing a very good job. And then the next imp is going- Where was she from? I missed you. Whoa, yeah, she was farth from hurting him. He's not doing a very good job. And then the next imp is going to happen. Where was she from? He was Tuesday. She was far, I thought you guys were my... You kind of took her by surprise, as much as you took Ehrlich by surprise.

Take a piss. And Greg, I'm sorry to say, you've got an imp swooping down at you, and it just barely gets in 18. Finally, one of the monsters hits. Unfortunately, he's going to be stinging you for minimum damage, just four points of damage. Bringing you down to 48, you are at full hit points, Greg. But then, I'm gonna need you to make a constitution saving

throw against the imp's scorpion tail poison. Roll me a d20 plus four to see if you can shake this off. I rolled a two. A two! I am sorry to say that you're gonna be taking full poison damage, which is 10 points of poison damage, bringing you down to 38 again. That is 14 points down, and that is going to be,

enough that you could heal it back, but that would be almost all of your healing that you have left. And that was the imp's turn, then that is going to bring us to cake next. How many imps are still out there, Tim? You can tell that there are three imps in the room with us, but there are more coming in every turn through that hole in the wall. So running past.

I want to destroy them all. I want to close that hole. Absolutely. 100%. Oh, yes. Absolutely. Now you, what spell would you be hoping to use to destroy them all? Fireball is a spell that would hit everything in the room Yeah fireball, hurl, blast the fire at an enemy within 120 feet I'm not gonna hurt an imp though Please make an arcana check to see if you can remember what imps are resistant to 18

With an 18 plus your history or arcana, you would know that imps are immune to fire damage. You do not want to use fireball. Now, do you have the spell Thunder Wave as a first level spell? Thunder Clap? Thunder Clap is the cantrip version. I'm wondering if Thunder Wave will allow that.

Thunder Wave, absolutely. Thunder Wave is a spell you have used before to great effect. It's the Fusero Da from Skyrim. You just knock everybody in front of you back like bowling pins I would say that you can roll a D6 the cube die and the higher you roll the more of these imps you can you can catch all right one burst To to you're getting to that way that was a two on the die

Two. Two. You're getting two, that was a two on the die. The imps are so spread out you would be able to hit one of the imps who is closest to the opening and then knock everything that's coming in through the opening backward. But it's only going to get one of the imps. The other two are still going to be in the room right now, unfortunately. Do you still want to use that strategy or are you going to try something else? If you mention any other spells

that may hit multiple targets, there may be better ones than Thunder Wave. The magic missile. Oh, magic missile could fire up to five missiles if you do it as a third level spell slot and you would be able to spread out those missiles across multiple targets. You know each imp has 10 hit points

and each missile deals 1d4 plus 1 damage so two missiles could kill an imp But three is more likely and four is basically guaranteed to kill an imp and you could have up to five of them Okay, do you want to do magic missiles or a thunder wave or something else magic missile magic missiles a good choice So how many of the five missiles are you firing five missiles? Yeah, I'm trying to kill absolutely all out fear me. I'm mr. Position. You will die 100% absolutely you fire off three missiles I want to point out Sorry, I just remembered earlick has a wand of magic missiles that is now lying on the ground I gotta get it so you know if you wanted to you could run and grab it

I mean he can't really use that so I have to pick up the needler hands The the needler is in his hands, but he can't you know keep you from just picking it up Do you go and pick up the needler? Yeah, he wouldn't know I'm taking it I think I need to ask Hank to pass over the needler to Jake, please And Jake as you pick up the needler you know that if you fire off every charge on this wand Except the final one you can fire off. Let's see. That's six charges. You could fire off eight missiles All right, let's do it now if you use up all seven of the charges, you can actually fire off nine missiles, but there is a one in 20 chance

that the wand then explodes in your hands. Do you want to take that risk? All the dice. Absolutely. Let it only be a d20 to see if the wand melts. If you get a one, it melts. Nine. No, nine.

It stays intact. You fire off all of the nine missiles that it can fire. And how are you splitting them up? Three missiles at each imp or a different arrangement? I think I'm going to do one shot at each and try to kill all five. Absolutely. So there's three imps, you've got nine missiles. You could split up evenly three on each.

Yeah, that works. That works. So it would be 3d4 plus three, the minimum damage is six. We do have to roll to see if you can kill these imps. Go ahead and take these d4s. I got them. Well, actually, sorry, there's an invisible imp. No, so you cannot target an invisible imp with magic missile.

You need to see a target for magic. So 3d4s? We'll take your link. 3d4 and whatever results you get, you're adding plus 3 to them combined. 4, 1, 1. results you get you're adding plus three to them combined. Four one one. Four one one so that's six plus three is nine you brought an imp down to one hit point left so the three imps. Imp number one is it one out of Two three four. Two three four. That's gonna be enough. One imp is down. Zero. Now roll against imp number three.

Best of all it's magic damage so he's taking the ball. One three four. One three four that's eight plus three is eleven. Another imp is down. Two imps down. One down to a single hit point left. That is the one fighting Lola right now. Well done. So as an imp fighting Lola, no other imps. There are also intellective hours, but I'm also gonna roll. They're still sticking around right now at least. And well done cake. That was an incredible job. That was your bonus action to go and grab the needler and then poop poop poop poop. You fire off those missiles and just start obliterating the imps like you got an AK-47, just firing magical shots.

Well done, that is gonna bring us to Erlich's turn. D&D has been brought to you by Chevy and the Chevy Silverado. The Chevy Silverado has commanding and unstoppable grit, legendary capability and dependability too. We've all spent time seat time, as they call it in the biz, behind the wheel of a Silverado and we're not just truck guys we're Chevy truck

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As long as you get an 11 or higher, you're doing okay. You got a 15. A 15, you're doing okay right now. So let me just mark down early. Good job. That you got one success and no failures. If you get three failures, you're dead. If you get three successes, you stabilize.

Is it still dreaming about the light crossbow? You are still dreaming. You're dodging the light crossbow now in your dreams, but unfortunately that is all you're able to do. However, what would Lola be trying to do right now? Lola could turn into another kind of animal. Lola could, is it currently invisible, Lola could attack the other imp who's trying to hurt you who has one hit point left, or Lola could try to do something to

help you, but Lola is not particularly good at medicine checks to wake you up. But you could try. I guess let's be a team player and take out the other imp. Absolutely. 100% But you could try I guess let's be a team player and take out the other imp Nice! Let's roll a d20 plus 5 and Lola has advantage. It's a solid move That's an is the is the dot at the top of the dot is at the bottom It's a 9. 9 absolutely and you have advantage because she's invisible roll one more time 7 7 okay, so we'll take the 9

plus 5 is what she has, a 14 is enough just barely to hit the imp. Go ahead and roll 1d4 damage against the imp. That would be the pyramid shaped one. One fourth. The furthest from you. There you go, that brown one.

There you go, you had it, that's it. That's more than four sides, actually. It's got four numbers on it, right? Yes. It has three numbers on each side, and it's always the number on top. Whichever it should have four. Pretty sure it does, but I'm counting them. One, okay, so she gets a plus three on this, that's four damage so far, and the imp only takes two points of damage, but it only had one hit point left and it is dead now, well

done. So Lola kills the last imp, the imps are all dead. And there are, let's see, you didn't kind of flush out the imps who were trying to come in, but let's see if they're scared now. Oh, they are. Yes, the imps are all too scared to come in now. We have dealt with the imps.

A bunch of imps cluster at the entrance, like the opening, and they fly away. Only intellect of ours, or the only enemy left in the room right now. We also now see Lola. She is no longer invisible. Lola has managed to finish off the glass of the imps. There is still one, sure, two intellect of ours,

one of whom is injured, one of whom is at full hip points, blocking our way to a big battle up ahead in what sounds like a big room, maybe towards the front of the ship. Norm, you would be up right now. What would you like to do? All right, I think we're to go to the big battle boys. Yeah, so you got to see all of us?

Yeah, well a question for you Tim. I'm a strong, I'm a big strong guy. Absolutely. Do I have like a backpack or any type of like rope or metal? Certainly you do. Absolutely. You always got rope. You've got some big heavy components and stuff, whatever you need. Okay, so let me tie a rope around earlick and I'll just I'll drag them okay Fabs you're not picking you could pick them up in character I will drag them. We don't want to leave him behind certainly absolutely remember truce. I can't say oh

Your rope around earlick is remarkably easy for you a human-sized barbarian to just drag this gnomish corpse around drag He's bumping on Rich as he goes out. He slurps over the sphincter door and his face drags along. He's got some kind of on him. And you're running kind of past these intellect of ours. You get to this sphincter door that is not opened yet, that we can hear a big commotion on the other side. Oh shit.

What are you going to do? Okay, what do we think? Could make a perception check as a bonus action to hear more, but I don't have a lot of perception. Nope, you don't. Is there any give to this sphincter? Is it like an asshole where you could force something small through?

Historically, they've been responding to our thoughts the doors, but you could just walk up to it and there is a little bit of space in the middle. I'd be afraid if we force something through, we'd lose it because it's not attached to a rope Absolutely. Yeah, wait. I saw a lot of like hamsters get lost in my You do Why don't we why don't we throw earlick through there and check it out? Yeah, we'll see that's it. I want to emphasize you can pass out how he's small enough that you can try to squeeze him through

Yeah, well he's gonna be like you're really gonna be forced. Yeah, no, I'll wake him up I'll force him through and I'll have the rope and so we'll like I'm sure this rope is very long Absolutely long enough definitely almost like fishing. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. And you're not thinking for the door to open You want it kind of tight as you try to force it. I want to stay tight, but I want to put him into the asshole. Absolutely. So you can feel a little bit. Yeah, 100%.

So go ahead and roll a D20. You have advantage on this as an athletic chef. Is this the first time somebody's done this, or do we need to go slow? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I would say so. The mindful. You hear the ship go, ooh, a little bit.

Yeah. Ooh, and it's a one, but you have advantage on this. At first, it just keeps, he gets halfway through, and then it goes, ah, and pushes it back out. Can he spit on the door? Yeah, well you gotta spit on Erlich, actually. I mean, no, I guess, yeah. Yeah, I'm silly, 100%.

You spit on your finger, but yeah. Can we spit on him? I mean, you still got like a 100%. You can just put it on your finger, but yeah. Can I really just put it on him? I mean, you still got like a little bit of throw up in the second match. Perfect, perfect. We'll use that. All right, okay. 17.

Absolutely, that is gonna be enough with a plus seven for your athletics. You push it and then it's like, you get some resistance and then all of a sudden it's like, and like once he's more than halfway through I was gonna say you grab like the legs are getting pulled through But you actually don't see anything as soon as like he's halfway through you just see his lower body get Pulled through and then a thump on the other side

suddenly all the fighting stops oh And you hear what two voices one in all of our minds not mine and not up actually in his hand Do hear this oh? Almost like it's coming from somebody okay side of that door and then you hear another voice saying out loud the same phrase What the fuck? No eyes no legs slump down into the room and then they start to fight again real quick But they're also kind of like, you hear one person in the background in the middle of the fight,

go, no, but like, what the fuck? And it's clearly distraught. I will also just say, is anyone grabbing this body? Yeah, actually, suddenly the rope starts to go... It's like something's caught on the wall. Yeah, yeah. Hold my hips, boys. I don't know, like some kind of animal

has got his body right. Oh, no. I'm just going to roll an attack to see how bad you're getting hit. He has a advantage because he's unconscious. Erlich at the top of your sheet, what is your arm? 15. That's going to be enough just barely. Erlich, I'm sorry to say you're getting hurt. I didn't want that to happen today. And that was not that was not my intention.

It was a melee attack. Something is chewing on his body. Oh, can I pull it back to happen today. That was not that was not my intention. It was a melee attack Something is chewing on his body. Oh, can I pull it back? Can I pull it back? You try to pull him back. Yes. Yes. Roll with advantage, but you've got to beat something something's fighting you on this You've got to beat with a plus four of 14 actually a 15 in all is when you got to beat do I have advantage? You have advantage you have a plus seven, okay? 17 Do I have advantage have advantage you have a plus seven, okay? 17 amazing Just roll one more time make sure you didn't get a crit because you do have advantage 13 hey, so you succeed you're gonna pull you pull the rope through I like you just roll one more d20 as long as you don't get a one or

a two early come You you you pull the rope and then all of a sudden it hits the sphincter door, it stops, you pull again, you yank, there's a snap. Oh no. And the rope comes through. There's no Ehrlich?

No, Ehrlich. I'll probably be okay. That is your turn, Norm. I'm gonna roll. No! The enemies into initiative. Norm, they're going right after your turn Norm, I'm gonna roll the enemies into initiative. Norm they're going right after your turn. This, it sounds like some sort of hell beast or something.

It's trying to tear apart his body. It has an advantage. Now also- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, He does actually did you did you like play keep it on his back or did when he dragged along? Did you I got to come boys? I I have it Yeah, I was trying to help like cross. Oh, we got the light cross. Oh Literally we saved it 100% Lola is gonna dive to try to slip through earlick I will let you roll for Lola, but she's got to get a really good roll to come and try to save you at all.

Only real one we got. Mm-hmm. Fifteen. Fifteen on the dice, is that right? Exactly. Yes, yes. That is with a plus five. Exactly enough.

She squeezes through the sphincter. I don't really want to be alive. She pops through on the other. Did you not want her to do that or? No, he doesn't want to be alive. Okay. Oh, you don't want to be alive. I don't want want to be alive. She pops through on the other. Did you not want her to do that or? No, he doesn't want to be alive. Oh, you don't want to be alive. I don't want to be here anymore.

She slips through and we hear her saying something in infernal. I don't think anybody else here speaks infernal unfortunately. So we don't know what she's saying, but now we're going to see if she's convinced. Nope. The beast that is trying to attack you is not been convinced by Lola to stop. I am sorry to say. It is now going to take one final attack against you, and if I get a ten or higher on one of these, Erlich is dead.

With a nine being the higher of the two rolls, the dog is thrashing your body around, but doesn't manage to kill you. Just yet, Erlich, you're hanging on at least until you're... I don't know how long you're going to last last actually, but you are alive still right now. And that is the creatures going on that initiative count. Wayne, we are up to you, the door is still not open. What would you like to do? Is it cracked open at all?

It is, like there's an opening about this big. If you put your eye up to it, you should be able to see through that door. Yeah. It's a kind of like brownish. Like a conjunctivitis, yeah. Absolutely, 100%. OK, so what do we do with Hank's body?

Or sorry, Erlich's body. He's still alive, right? He's still alive. He's on the other side of the sphincter door now. If you open it, I'll heal him. Really? You can't lose him, man. I love that fucker.

Or what's left of him. Could I disguise myself? Is that one of the things that I can do yes you can you not only can disguise yourself You have a spell to disguise yourself you have the spell disguise self and when you cast that you can look like Anybody you want you could look like somebody specific or just like regular normal human dude or something like that But I could I look like early yes, you could one like we're just his legs It's hard because you would kind of get down on your knees in order to be

able to create this illusion. But yes, you can 100%. Didn't we get a vision of the main guy, the guy flying the ship? Yes, we know what the mind flayer looks like. We know that he has a squid-like head with two black eyes and then four tentacles hanging down where his mouth is.

We think he wraps those around people's skulls and Slurps their brains. I bet he's on the other side of that door. That wouldn't work. You don't think so? No He'd know. Yeah If I disguise myself like Ehrlich and then could I could I tie myself up on a rope and roll myself in there and try to grab Try to grab Ehrlich and bring his corpse back. You could definitely do that. I'm not sure if there's an advantage to looking like Erlich for that, but you could do that. Oh, right, it doesn't actually make you smaller. It just makes you look like somebody else.

Once people reach out and touch you, they're like, something's wrong here. We gotta kill this squid guy, right? I think you might have the spell reduce which shrinks you down. Ant-man. Ant-man style. No it doesn't shrink you down to teeny tiny size but it does shrink you down to half size and that would make it much easier for you to squeeze through the hole. Why don't we just open the door like this? Yeah we could. Just open the door and fuck him up. You could just think open to the door yeah. I want to open up the door and kill everything that's on the other think, open to the door, yeah. I want to open up the door and kill everything that's on the other side of that door.

Absolutely. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Every single thing. Is, is there a lick on the other side of that door? Yes. Oh. Yeah, he is. Yeah, I guess besides him. Damn it. I guess.

We gotta save him, that's my brother. Okay, let's open, let's open up the door. Absolutely. And let's, let's all rage. You think open to the door, Absolutely. And let's all rage. You think, open to the door, this finger slurps open, and you see the helm of the ship. There are creatures fighting in here. One of them is a big dark angel with black wings

who seems to be wearing some sort of crown on her head, and there is a mind flayer with tentacles hanging down, floating in the air, trying to blast this dark angel with psychic attacks. He turns to you and he looks and sees Wayne, that's what you look like, and he thinks a thought into your mind. Thrall, come to my aid now.

Get to the front of the ship, activate the engine. We must get out of here now. I will keep this fiend at bay. Go ahead and roll just to see if you can figure out what's going on here. Why he seems to be treating you like an ally. What's your insight skill? You don't have insight, unfortunately, with that five.

You don't know why he just called you Thrall. Okay, so I- I'm treating you like a friend. I feel like a good move would be to take over, control the ship and fly it, right? I can fly. Absolutely. Yeah, you can.

I'm a pilot. I wanna do that. Absolutely. I wanna get behind on the sticks. You run past the mind flayer and this devil that are fighting, you jump over Erlich's body to do that. And as you run, Erlich's body has next to it this big hell hound of some kind

that is just tearing him apart right now. Do you do anything to that hell hound? No. Boop it, boop it, boop it. Oh absolutely, 100%. Just as you do the boop, make an animal handling check. Little bonus action right there. I think I have bonus on.

You have handle animal plus one on this awesome Good boy 100% with a 16 plus one is a 17 you go boop and at first he's like he was like growling at you You go boop and he goes whoop he crosses eyes looks at his nose and goes And then he goes back to Mauling or like Instead of chasing you he had dropped or looks body to chase you you. And then instead of you booping, he goes back to mauling Erlich. And then you are able to run past, you're getting toward the front of the ship. I would like you to roll to see if you can make it all the way there without anyone trying to stop you.

Okay, that's with your, you have at least a plus two, that's a 15. That is enough. You're getting to the console And what you're seeing is some sort of weird brain-like mass with tentacles sticking out of it Okay, the mind player says into your mind activate the engine you have no idea how the fuck to do that He's expecting you to be able to for some reason. I just know how to fly. I don't know how to take off and land exactly If you want to try to operate this, you can roll an Arcana check.

I must emphasize, out the front view screen, like there's a big windshield here, you can see where we are. Somehow this ship has ended up in the nine hells, and there are devils all around this ship. The mind-blows like, we gotta get out of here. You can try to pilot the ship with an Arcana check. Okay, is there an ejection seat anywhere in this thing?

It'll be an Arcana check to even understand this. If you roll well enough, you'll get options on what you can do here. You don't see an ejection seat, all right. Seven plus Arcana. You can do one thing here, but you cannot activate the engine, whatever he means by that.

But if you wanted to, I'd say with an 11, you have found an ejection seat button. Okay, so the rational thought here would be to eject the mind flare. That would make perfect sense. I also want to save my boy, Erlich. Could we put Erlich onto the ejection seat? Hold on, hold on.

And then shoot him into space? Hold on, but okay, but that dog, like, we like that dog. It's a good dog. It's a good dog. He's a good boy. He's hungry. He wagged his tail. Okay, so what are my options again?

I can do one action. You can do one thing with this console. It can't be activating the engine. That's too complicated. You haven't figured out how to do it, but you can do one thing here. And if what you want to do is eject this, there's like a big jellyfish that you think the mind flayer would normally is eject this, there's like a big jellyfish

that you think the mine flare would normally sit down on, it's like a big beanbag chair. You think that that will launch out of the ship if you press like this weird bulbous knob sticking out. What if I just like pull back real hard on the controls and then make everybody fall down? Oh yes you could do that, 100% there is a joystick, a fleshy joystick of some kind. And if you pull back on that, this ship will go straight up. And everybody in here will have to make a saving throw

not to fall over. Really good with the fleshy joystick. Absolutely. You grab the fleshy joystick. You pull back on it. Immediately, I'm going to ask you to roll first. And you have advantage because you know this is coming to not fall over.

OK, so far so good. Roll one more time just to make sure it's a crit. You can't talk. Absolutely. You'll take the 12. That's enough that you're just holding on to the joystick right now. Well done. Anyone listening? Erlich, just as an unconscious body, please roll me a d20 to see how far you go flying. Ten. Ten is enough that you're just going to smack against this fleshy wall and don't take any damage.

Just bear... you take like... no, no, no damage. You're not, if you took any damage, you'd be dead. You don't take any damage, luckily. And then I would like everybody else, Norm, Cake, and Greg to make saving throws, please. And then I'll roll for the enemies. So I'm trying to knock like the enemies over. I don't know if they're in the room yet, right?

They are, so everybody in this ship is gonna have to make a saving throw right now. The intellect of ours, the mind flayer, and that dark angel. All right, so I'm make a saving girl right now the intellect of ours the mind flayer and that dark angel All right, so I'm making a saving throw what you guys get I go well well is not quite enough for the paladin You're not over 13 is not enough. No actually you have it plus three on this. That's a 15 or higher You do not fall over cake 18 that's that is a cocked dime. That's a 13 and you have advantage. Roll one more time. That's already enough but let's see if you crit. If you crit you'll catch somebody else. That's a 15. That is

gonna be enough. So you didn't get a 20. Actually, yes you did. So you can catch Greg that means thank you catch him So we're all safe and then I'm gonna roll for the enemies first. I'll just roll He's on the road like splattered against the wall. Yep, and the intellect of ours I'll roll for each of them the injured one gets splattered against the wall Instantly killed the injured intellect of ours dead Malaysia next intellect of our is The injured intellect of our is dead. Next intellect of our is Just kind of get knocked around there's one intellect of our left and then the mind flayer is gonna roll

He falls over and takes damage The mind flayer is getting two and one just three points of damage on the mind flayer And then thank you so much the dark angel is also going to fall over and he is gonna take nine points of damage or she is gonna take nine points of damage and Angel is gonna take Boom nine points of damage neither of them sees it seems like they're halfway dead But they are prone on the ground kind of tangled up with each other right now They certainly kind of can't come after you the Dark Angel is looking at you like I should go after you before you can do anything else

The mind player turns to you in your mind is like could you Steer straight, please right now and he seems to think that you should be obeying his commands though you don't And that is going to bring us from your turn then Wayne to the intellect devourers Next and the intellect of ours are going to try to the one Intellect Devourer left is going to hmm I could see them going after Ehrlich, but let's roll for it. Nope Okay, one two three Wayne the Intellect Devourer who is still live goes lunging at you I'm gonna need you to make an intelligence saving throw Please as suddenly you feel this weird connection.

Amazing, they try to get inside your head to do something to your head like they're trying to seize control. Does not work, well done. That is gonna bring us from, Wayne, all you would know, you had done your bonus action to the hell hound, and then you ran up and it was your action to control.

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Promo code take 20% off your first purchase and now back to Tim Woods and Dungeons and Dragons. That is gonna bring us to Greg next. So I was caught by Norm? Yeah. Yes, 100%. So he put you in right? I'm in your arms? Yeah, you're in my arms.

Does it take an action to kiss him on the cheek? Yes, no, no, that's a free action. Okay, I'll do that. Thank you. But while I'm doing that, I wanna reach into his pocket and take the eyeball. Oh, the stone. Because of the kiss, you're gonna have advantage on this.

Go ahead and roll two times. You don't have a great... 15. I forgot about the stone. Two. You're gonna have advantage on this go ahead and roll two times you don't have a great 15 I Forgot about the stone to to so a 15 you have a minus one on sight of hand is a power Maybe a plus zero. I still have the Bard's blessing from yes, you don't mind if I do you can roll a d8 now and add Whatever you get on this to your roll eight now and add whatever you get on this to your roll.

Four. Four, okay, plus the, you had rolled a 15, plus four is a 19, minus one is 18, that is still enough to beat his roll. You take the stone out of his pocket, and suddenly you hear a voice in your mind say, ah, a powerful hand has touched the stone. Do you wish to make a deal with me? You can roll a knowledge check to see if you know whose voice this is.

A one. You have no idea who this voice is. This has been the worst rolling out of you. Could be a mind player, could be your tadpole. There's lots of voices speaking in our minds right now. You don't know, but they are asking if you want to make a deal. And suddenly you see Will, who's been hanging out

in the back, kind of turning our direction. Like, he's hesitating and he's looking at you like he knows the voice is speaking to you at the moment. This is too much for me. I want to throw it out of the ship. Absolutely! As you go to throw it out of the ship, Will goes, no, and he jumps for it.

Go ahead and roll me a D20 real quick. Seven. Seven is still enough with a plus five on like an unarmed or improvised throw. You throw it through the hole in the wall, out of the ship, Will jumps, no, and jumps out of the ship into hell. Oh fuck, I thought we were in the sky.

Sorry Will. It's like, ball him when he catches the ring as he's falling down to Mount Doom. He gets the stone like, yes! And suddenly you see like wings start to grow out of his back and then you hear a cackling voice that you're pretty sure he can hear. The wings go away and he plummets down.

Did he make the catch? He did make the catch? Oh, cool. You know what? Are you sure? Roll a d24, Greg. This is for Will's roll. And 18.

18 is enough. He catches the stone, and then he begins to plummet down into the nine hells of burning fire below. And he disappears out of sight. Well done. He has left the ship. The stone eye is out of the ship. That was all just a bonus action for you

Is there anything else you wanted to do with an action? I would like to heal Yes, you can 100% if you use up 14 points of healing that brings you back up to full You only have one point of healing left now What I always give paladins the opportunity to do is normally you can only heal one person But if you wanted to I would let you give those 14 points to yourself and then reach out and touch somebody else to give them just one point of healing. Is there anyone you wanted to give one to healing? Anybody want it?

We're all pretty healthy. I take it. I'm holding you. Yeah, I guess he's already touching me. I'll give him one point. Absolutely. You give Norm one point of healing. No, Norm was at full hit points.

Oh. If you give him one hit point, then he'd feel like a well-fed Yeah, it feels good. Yeah, it would make him. Thank you. Yeah, I'll do it good use of that Overly 100% absolutely in fact, I'll give you you're at 60 out of 59 right there 59 Listen brother, we're gonna make it through this all of us Absolutely, you feel he's not even a bard and you feel inspired. Real good, absolutely.

And that brings us from Greg's turn to Cake's turn. Now, Cake, two things I wanna point out. Number one, you automatically know what Wayne is doing up there with his Arcana skill. He's great at Arcana, but there's one person here better at Arcana, it's you. Also, this is when the tadpole into your mind speaks and says something that nobody else has said. It has said to,

Access my power. You can use it better than anyone else here. I could give you the power to mind control everyone on your team if you wanted to. Yes. That would be turning my back on all of them. But wouldn't it make you better than them at this is fake. This is it life. This is Dnd world. What do you mean D&D? It's different than the real world. I don't feel bad D&D real as it gets I'm confused. Yeah. And I'm angered. No, I have to convince me. No one would know.

That's the thing. You the Tatlis even telling you this, you know, your spells require a movement of hands and magic words. They know when you cast spells on them, but a psionic attack like this, they would never know until it's too late. All right, let's do it. Absolutely, I would like you to roll a wisdom saving throw to access this tadpole's full power.

He's giving you advantage on this, roll two times. 18. 18 is already, roll one more time, just see if you crit. It's already enough to do this against everybody here though. Crit walk. Might be cocked, but it's either nine or 11. Moot point then, we'll ignore that. You are taking the 18 plus seven is a 25.

He gives you the chance to cast dominate person as a silent psionic attack on every one of your teammates. He said we weren't going to turn on each other. Four individual. What the fuck is this? Four individual. You're notina words man something this is bullshit So what's the plan now Tim? Would you like to use mind control upon them the mod the illythid tadpole the mind flayer tadpole is in Your mind giving you the power of the mind flayers

Dominate person spell. Yes. You want to do that? Absolutely, I'm gonna need everybody who, and there's four people you can get. Erlich is unconscious. The only way. You can't really control someone's mind if they're unconscious. He says, you can control his mind, but only if I prod the tadpole in his head

to wake him up, would you like me to do that? Yeah. Absolutely, when you do that, immediately that tadpole tries to wake you up, Erlich. Roll me a D20 to see if your tadpole is able to wake you up. Four. Roller, bitch. Not able to wake you up.

I'm sorry to say the tadpole kind of reverberates in his head trying to wake him up, but does not manage to. And the three people who are conscious, who you're trying to mind control. Go ahead and I need each of you to roll a wisdom saving throw. This is just a d20 roll. You've already used your heart of inspiration. 17 is enough. Yeah, get the fuck out of here, Jake. Cake. Yeah, that is... Cocked. Cocked. You know what? It looks cocked to me. Roll it right here. Yeah. 11 plus... Actually, let's see. do I see a wisdom base skill here?

Uh, buh buh buh buh buh. I think you have a plus two on wisdom, but you are not trained at this saving throw. I think, I don't think that is enough, Wayne. Wayne, you are under Cakes control, and how did you do, Greg? 11. 11 is actually for a paladin just enough.

You have a plus score. I'm gonna kill him. Or on this, a 15 does the trick. So right now, the only person you have control over is Wayne, you can give him orders to do something. What would you like? And he's right at the console. You could run up to him and just tell him,

help me with this. And he would give you advantage on doing something with the console if you wanted technically use your bonus action so far You've not used your action yet or so you've used your action But it would be a bonus action for you to run up and try to do something with the console And you could get his help or you could tell him to do something else with your I'd like to say Wayne Can I be your co-pilot steering the ship? Oh, that's nice. You could have just asked me that. Yeah. I have to take over my brain.

Absolutely. That was a pretty decent question to ask. Do you command him to do that, or do you just let him do as he wishes? I'll do it. Absolutely. You're commanding him, or? Yeah, I'm commanding. Absolutely.

You are forced to be his co-pilot. Left hand up. And and now are you running up and trying to control the ship in some capacity? Yes, absolutely. So run up and Wayne is giving you advantage on this roll to our kind of checks Advantage that 20. Yes d20 you have a plus seven eleven 14 14 plus seven is a 21. If you wish, you think that this engine isn't just an engine to go up or down or left or right, it's an engine to go through the dimensions. You could go to another world if you wanted. Your choices are stay in hell and pilot around here or go to a different plane of existence such as

You could go back to our world and then you'd have a big nautiloid ship in our world You could also go to one of the elemental planes like the plane of fire or the plane of air or something Or you could go to other dimensions like heaven is actually a dimension sounds like a great you could go There's actually several heavens. So if you're interested in heavens, I'll give you a menu if you want. Which one has the Thousand Virgins, yeah. Let's see, that would probably be Yizgard, the plane where war...

We could just crash the plane into the ground and go there. They're great battles. Sounds like something that's happened before. Let's all go to heaven together. Somebody else's brain and has them crash a plane into heaven. See, they thought I was turning on them I'm bringing them all to heaven. Absolutely. I'm doing them a favor So you could either go to warrior heaven. That's you as guard you could go to animal heaven

That's the beast lands you could go to elf heaven You could go to dwarf heaven you could go to any of the different There are dogs We can go to animal heaven Every animal. As long as I bring my Zertac we can go to animal heaven. Absolutely, go to the Beastlands, is that right? Okay. Taking us to the Beastlands man. Yeah, you want to see dogs. Absolutely. What are the other heavens? Warrior heaven, beast heaven. There's like the lawful good heaven which is like

kind of more traditional heaven and there's elven heaven which is like a tree-filled heaven heaven which one has chicks Let's see that would probably be Elysium the neutral good heaven has like the most like it's like everybody's just having an orgasm con oh, okay? Yeah, we gotta go there really good. Absolutely. Yeah, you're allergic to come. Do you need your zirtec? just for dogs You're taking us to Elysium, is that right? Yes.

Role me one Arkana check, just see if you know what the concern is about going to Elysium. Cock die. Okay. 19. 19. Nice. See? You know the concern is.

Helping the boys out, I'm like a wingman. Anybody who goes to Elysium, it's so perfect there that actually of all the planes You know it's the one place where you can pretty much be guaranteed We're not gonna run into any danger the one danger is that you love it so much in Elysium You have to make a saving throw Oh, if you don't want to leave if you're unconscious, can you have that orgasm feeling? Ah, you cannot No, you'd be like really missing out on the best experience. When we chop the legs, how high do we chop? Such a good question.

It came through one swipe, so I don't know if he has a cock. I'm going to ask Norm, did you chop like from the thighs down? His cock's gone. OK, yeah, 100%. Seems like he just got it. All right, so he can't orgasm, but we yeah, we made it truce before I want my boys to You know be cool with everything. So could we like maybe play looky cookie with him? Orgasm on him. Yeah, okay. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, can we heal him so he only has balls?

Actually you have that one point of healing left, right? Yeah, I would like to give that Yeah, 100%. Actually, you have that one point of healing left, right? Yeah, I would like to. Give that 10 minutes just to throw back that one ball. I'm giving him one ball. Yeah, so he's got all ball, 100%. I'll say automatic. You've done that, Boo, you gave him.

Now, if you give him one ball, he might wake up, though. You want him to wake up, or you want him to just be unconscious with one ball? Do you want him to be awake with one ball, or is he conscious with one ball? I think it's better if he's awake, and he knows. Let's wake the boy up. Absolutely.

Then you're giving him one point of healing. You wake up or lick with no legs, no eyes, and you can feel that you have a single ball. And you're taking us to Elysium right now, cake. I would like you to first of all, first of all, you kind of reach out and there's these two tentacles. You know what you need to do. You take two of them, they're almost like Venus flytrap things a little bit,

and you bring them towards each other and they link together, and you strum it like a guitar string once, and as it reverberates, the reverberation goes through the whole ship. This dimensional rift opens up in front of the ship and we hurdle through it into just this beautiful golden field. It's the field from the beginning of Glidator.

Remember, he said, you will meet me in Elysium. You see this beautiful golden field down below and you see this beautiful, the most beautiful sunrise you have ever seen in your life. And suddenly, cake, you feel, oh, please roll me a wisdom saving throw. Everyone is gonna need to make a wisdom saving throw and anyone who fails their wisdom saving throw does not ever want to leave Elysium.

You can make the choice, Wayne, though if he commands you to, you will stay. Seven, you don't wanna leave Norm. That's fine, sounds fucking awesome. Two, who got it two? Two. Cake, you don't wanna leave and you're the one piloting the ship.

Oh, okay. 16. 16 is enough as a paladin, you're used to fighting off temptation and stuff, you have control right now. 15. 15, Erlich, you also just barely have control. But right now, you're the one piloting the ship. Cake, are you letting anyone else? I guess, let me pause you there. Erlich,

what would you like to do right now? You have a hit point, a ball, no legs, no eyes. No crossbow. No crossbow. Crossbow. You feel for your crossbow in your back? It's gone. His wand is gone too. Your wand is gone too. Your needle is gone. I would like to take a light crossbow you feel for your crossbow in your back? It's gone. His wand is gone too. Your wand is gone too, your needle is gone. I would like to take a light crossbow, shoot it straight up in the air and just let it come down through my brain. You go to reach for your light crossbow to kill yourself? You have no crossbow and you must scream.

You cannot even find your light crossbow to kill yourself with. It's like that one music video from Metallica. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, I have no mouth and I'm a scream. Like you want to kill yourself and you can not kill yourself. Bingo.

Ba-ba-da-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-yup. I would like to create a minor illusion. You can do that? Ew, do you? Would you? There's adults everywhere. No, no, and I'll be generous about this. What illusion do you want to do?

I would like the person that Big Cat thinks he's orgasming them with looks like a woman, but it's actually a dude. OK, so this beautiful female angel comes swooping in. And this angel wants to have sex with you right now, Big Cat. Are you down for that? Yeah. All right, then I'm gonna roll

Perfect yeah, the angel bends over okay the angel. Oh, yeah, awesome. Awesome. So hot the illusion going the whole time Immediately after absolutely immediately after you finish up. Yeah, and then suddenly you look down you drop the illusion This dude angel looks back at you and says, that was great. And I'm like, yeah, no shit, bro. Absolutely, 100%. And because you failed your saving throw against Elysium, you're down for this again. You're having a great time.

More angels start showing up, you just get into an angel pile. I am. You're having a blast right now. Hank's big fucking move was to make me gay like it's a bad thing. Absolutely, 100%. I'm disgusting. You fucked an angel, dude. Yeah, absolutely. I don't give angels an angel. Hank's big fucking move was to make me gay like it's a bad thing. Absolutely. When had you- It's disgusting. You fucked an angel, dude. Yeah, absolutely.

I don't give angels an angel. Those are noticed? The angels just start swapping. Like they just change their physical form whenever they want. They're just like changing. Like, like, oh, you're down and then they change to- But I still come, right? Absolutely.

You do 100%. And because you're in Elysium, the moment you come, you just like want to come again Awesome, you're just is recovery time is like zero. Oh, yeah fantastic. I'll blue chew absolutely So I guess that was your turn, but also your turn norm I'll say that's a bonus action. Oh, you want to do with your action? Um, okay What what are we gonna do to like are we just gonna hang out here? I mean, right now you don't wanna leave, all you wanna do is fuck.

So, okay. Um... But do we have, what do we have to do to complete this mission? Will we kill anyone on this ship? I was really curious where we would land on this, and it sounds like we might fucking Elysium for the rest of our life. I'm down to fucking Elysium for the rest of our life. Absolutely, 100%... That's what Cakes wants to do, and unless someone can pilot us out of here, we're gonna fucking Sounds like we might fucking Elysium for the rest of our life. I'm down to fucking Elysium for the rest of our life. Absolutely.

That's what Cakes wants to do, and unless someone can pilot us out of here, we're gonna fucking Elysium. Not even until the day we die, for all eternity. Okay, it sounds like we won the game. We kinda did right now. Unless someone really wants to get us. It's kind of like, I'm curious if the piloting is like, no, I must not, but also it's Heaven. So like, it's not like a Paladin wouldn't want to kill here.

I just feel so bad for Hank who just has a ball but can't come. Yeah, I guess the last thing I would want to do is maybe if we could, like, he's awake, right? Yes, he is. He's brain-awake. Yeah, his brain is conscious, but it is like one. Like he can't see, he can talk, but he can't hear.

Oh, I know, I know. We forgot we have to chop off his arms too. Yeah. Yeah, so let's just finish that. Or we just hit him in the ball. Yeah, you know what? I'll just kick him in the ball. Absolutely.

What if you just go to kick him in the one ball? Rage kick please. Absolutely. Just roll me a D20 to make sure Elysium doesn't like have an impact on you, stopping you from doing this. That is just enough that you feel this little tingle in your mind and an angelic voice says, oh, don't do it, but you can ignore that voice.

Yeah, absolutely, go to kick him. Okay, oh, I have 17. Let's, yeah, we'll take that, 100%. You have double advantage, but it's a move point. You kick him in the ball. Yeah. It's your action, 100%. Do you kick him so hard that he loses his last hit point? Uh, yeah not? Well, and I want to make I want to kick him so hard. He pukes too.

Absolutely. Um, could you just real quick Hank, roll me a d 20 to see if you puke for all high you don't 19 19 you don't puke. Oh damn it. Absolutely. Technically you get two attacks per turn. Do you want to kick him again? You know what? Actually, let's do the light crossbow in the ball. Absolutely you fire a light crossbow into his ball Three. You have advantage because he's blind. You roll one more time. Technically you can't go reckless on this attack, but that's enough. You shoot him in the balls with a light crossbow He is immediately knocked out at that point. That is for sure a knockout blow right there. You feel your one ball immediately explode

It was your own light cross Unconscious now right he is unconscious probably for forever Can I can I give him a set of golf clubs that I wanted to give to him when he was conscious? Yeah, 100% Yeah, we'll have that people ask move. Like the nicest golf clubs ever. Hank, I want you to use, or Ulick, I want you to use these. Have fun with them. That was nice.

You give his unconscious body these? Do you like drop them really heavily on his body or just place it next to him? Yeah, I drop them very heavily. Very heavily. Bury me with some clubs in my life. That is enough that you take one failed death save. You're almost dead as these clubs boom fall in your body

right now, Abseer. You doing anything else to him? Yeah, I probably should do something else to him, right? Can I shave him? You can, 100%. He has a beautiful, gnomish beard. You can shave him. Like a sheep, yeah.

100%. Go ahead and see, are you trying to make it look good? No. No, no. Okay, absolutely, just roll, we'll see. We're rolling like a bitch still he's unconscious and blubber now So you can roll one more time you have advantage I mean you you shave off half of his beard

Okay, and then he's like shaking a little bit in his sleep, so you can't really get to the other half Okay, have this beard is gone the other half is still here than you Wait so half his beard so we're gonna do you do do are you careful with that because that wasn't that good a dice roll Were you being careful at least or were you just being wrecked? I was trying to be super careful and not hurt him at all. So I hope I rolled good. Absolutely. Well, you didn't roll very well Oh, no, so unfortunately you cut him a little bit while you're shaving him That's another failed death save if If he gets hurt one more time, actually that was a melee weapon.

Oh no! As you go for the shave, suddenly our nautilus ship bumps, you look down, you've cut Erlich's throat. Oh, he's winning out. He's winning out. We're gonna go cake. Absolutely.

He's bleeding out. I brought you to heaven. Now, Erlich, you bleed out at this point unless somebody helps you. And I'm sorry to say that the Paladin, you've already used up all your healing, giving him his ball back. So, you are out of healing magic. How could I have been so short-sighted?

To be fair, you could give him one of your healing spells. That was the way on hands you've used up. You could give him a healing spell or you could just make a medicine check. What's the healing spell? Is it a book or something? The healing spell would be called cure wounds. You roll a D8 and add plus two and you give him that much feeling back So if he got a little bit of healing back like maybe he's alive But is in so much pain for the rest of his life while we fuck that that would probably be the case

You know yeah, but he could fuck I'm sure you do know he's a dark war lock You could just let him die and go to whatever fate his pain. We made it true You would be rolling a D8 Plus two and that's how many hit points he gets back I've rolled a four or plus two. He gets back six hit points early Now were you trying to prevent or control what body parts grow back? Yes. What do you want to grow back? I want his ball to reform from the arrow. Absolutely. Yeah, I guess that's it.

That's just the absolute, a ball grows. And because it's six instead of one hit point, the full, just one ball grows. Huge. And a lot of bunch of hair grows on it. Oh, nice. You got a fully intact ball right now. If you gave him, if you love his penis. You got a fully intact ball right now. If you give him a little penis.

You see, and you are ready to go, but it's not your turn yet, and that is your action right there. Anything with your bonus action? What if you give him a... Yeah, I want to pick him up and throw him. Absolutely, you pick him up and throw him off the ship. No, I'm not gonna do that.

I'm not gonna do that. But you should, you know what? You should get, maybe get rid of his body and just leave him as a ball. Just a ball? Just a ball. Wait, just a ball? Just a ball. All right. I'd like to chop his body off Okay, I think it means you're chopping his ball off. No, no, no, no, no, you said it correctly He wants to chop his body off leave the ball understood. All right, so I Will ask you to please roll an attack with advantage since he is still blind

Fucking do you have advantage roll an attack with advantage since he is still blind. And he'll fucking do. To put you have advantage, roll one more time. 16. 16 is enough that you are using your daggers, is that right? Yeah. Absolutely, I will say that. It's a simultaneous dagger attack.

You are able with your bonus, you don't even need to roll the damage. You can cut him off of his ball just a ball you have his ball Oh Tim that's and you think his soul has been a Romeo religion check to make sure his soul gets pulled into his ball and out of His body as you laugh. Yeah A 19 a 19 is enough his soul is inside this testicle you can see This little spirit swirling around. Yeah has earlicks face percent Absolutely, okay, and you're earlick your patron speaks in your mind says I can't help you man. I'm sorry you're a ball now I

Wish I could help and you think he could help, but he's not and so Greg well done that is gonna bring us to Cake Next. Cake, you don't wanna leave Elysium. And you're really the one piloting the ship. What would you like to do right now? Um, do they all have partners that they can pleasure themselves with? More and more angels come in and just start fucking.

And all the people that are coming out of the test tubes, they're all just banging each other right now. All the characters having sex. I don't think we should leave. No, I mean, I'm not sure. You guys are mad at me. I actually controlled your mind and brought you to the promissive. How do we finish this?

Should you put Hank's ball in one of our scrotums? Three balls for one of us. Do any of you want three? No, no, I think we just, it's like joint custody. We'll just teach on the weekend. Yeah, yeah got a little each have two and a quarter balls. Mm-hmm. Oh, actually, you know what we could do We could finish with we failed once before but maybe we make a leash for the ball You could 100% I'd say if you spend time in Elysium just working on that you automatically make a leash Okay, great

And you can kind of roll around on its own. It's kind of like Mr. Potato Head a little bit and like it's on a leash. Erlich, I'm going to give you one chance here. Roll me a d 20. If you get a 20, then what's going to happen is you are going. Your your patron is going to say you you won the the what's the ball game again that Hank won recently the lottery lottery ball. Your patrons because they won the lottery ball And he's gonna give you have what was the number you rolled again? Was it 42 second firm trick max's bitch

Well, we told him we welcome him to the winter circle, but he denied it So you haven't even talked right now your ball a real hairy one to Hank I believe you won on a 42 on the lottery ball. Was that right? 52, my bad. So if you get a 20 on this die right now, your patron is gonna pull your soul out of this ball, bring you down to hell, and give you 52 hot devil women to fuck. And he's like, I'll get you out of Elysium, but you have to come to hell, and only fuck devil woman who are pretty crazy Thanks, I don't know how much you would want that 20 no, hi with a five he goes ah man I really tried sorry best of luck being a ball in Elysium and our I imagine months later

Our no otter Lloyd ship is just still floating through Elysium But now it has like party lights coming out of it and stuff, there's music thumping inside of our Nautiloid and we are just nonstop orgy fucking. Oh, hell yes! All of us for the rest. And it's like everything our mind can imagine. Every pleasure you can imagine is all for you. And every girl we can imagine?

Every girl, all your favorite foods, everything you've ever desired is in Elysium. Is there NFL on? Yeah, oh, 100%. And every game is exactly as exciting as you want to. Oh, every over its? Every game is going into the most exciting moments. And then as soon as it gets boring, the channel just changes to a new, more exciting game

kind of. So happy. Always the Super Bowl. Told her mine and let's have this. Oh, the super bowl every oh that's how intense congratulations everyone thank you I'm concerned incredible job thank you and the last words about how that went for you it's always a blast absolutely 100% well Tim you're the absolute you're the absolute best thank you. We love having you. We're gonna do it again this summer. So thank you. Absolutely. It's a pleasure to be out here for the first time guys

Thank you. Yeah, thank you. Yes. Okay. That's the show. Mm-hmm. We had a ball Hell yeah, absolutely. All right numbers boys 40 21 41 Alright numbers boys. 18. 40. 21. 23. 43. 41. 77. I feel like we've gotten that a bunch.

How many times? Love you guys. Uh, third time, third time. Which is the most in the new era. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys.

Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Third time third time I'll be coming for your love, okay? Feel it's the same Hold your head I'll be somewhere, let it wait Somewhere in the land, I'll be there for you

Say it's me Thanks for letting me say it this time Say it's me Thanks for letting me say it this time I'll be there for you I'll be there for you I'll be there for you I'll be there for you Take on me, take on me, take on me Take on me, take on me, take on me

Take on me, take on me, take on me I'm coming to you anyway I'm coming to you anyway I'm coming to you anyway I'm coming to you anyway I'm coming to you anyway I'm coming to you anyway I'm coming to you anyway I'm coming to you anyway I'm coming to you anyway I'm coming to you anyway

I'm coming to you anyway I'm coming to you anyway I'm coming to you anyway I'm coming to you, baby I'm coming to you, baby Take on me Take on me Take on me Take on me Take on me Take on me

Take on me Take on me Take on me Take on me Take on me Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ʻʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻiʻi I'm I'm ḍᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗ වවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවව� I'm here I'm here