Pardon My Take - Dwight Howard, NBA Free Agency + The Mt Rushmore Of Pickup Basketball Guys

Episode Date: July 1, 2019

NBA Free Agency is here and Kevin Durant is coming to New York (Brooklyn). Kyrie is joining him, Kemba to the Celtics, and J-Butt is pulling the ultimate J-Butt move by going down to Miami to chill (2:27 - 21:16). Who's back of the week including Christian Yelich in the HR Derby and we're fucked (21:16 - 26:25). Dwight Howard joins the show to talk about his career, being injured this past year, all the snakes he owns, and Big Cat reads his mean tweets to him (26:25 - 69:52). Mt Rushmore of players you see in pickup Basketball games (69:42 - 86:26), Drunk Idea, Way to stay relevant Baseball with the London Series and Monday Reading You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have future Hall of Famer Dwight Howard on the show. Interesting interview with Dwight. We also have all the NBA free agency talk. Kevin Durant is a Brooklyn net, Kyrie Irving is a Brooklyn net, Kembo Walker is a Celtic, J-Butt is going to the heat, all the craziness are recapped here for you right now.

We also have Mount Rushmore of pick up basketball players. So the guys you see at your pick up basketball game. And I guess we talked a little bit about Christian Yelich and the fact that we are all fucked. Well, PFT and I are fucked. Before we get to all of that, part of my take is brought to you by the Cash app, the number one finance app in the app store. Cash app is the most powerful way to send, to spend and save. It's connected to the free cash card.

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Okay, let's go. Welcome to part of my take presented by the cash app. Go put in promo code barstool right now and you get $5 for free and $5 to ASPCA. Today is Monday, July 1st and Kevin Durant is a New York parentheses Brooklyn net. We did it. We got, we got him to the big Apple. Got our guy. Got our guy.

Well, he's going to, he's technically going to be here for the next year. Five. Five. Well, he's going to be here, but he's not going to be playing next year probably. So it's him, Kyrie and then Deandre Jordan. Yup. Whose name got tossed at the end. That's awesome.

Move by him. New big three. I like that. I like everything like, man, big time move for the, for the Brooklyn nets. They got their guys. They got their guy. Deandre Jordan. He's so old.

He can't jump anymore. I saw an article. I think it was on 538 Nate Silver, Nate Bronze's website that said the Brooklyn nets just completed their rebuilding process. It's like, yeah, this is the fruits of a long rebuild for the nets. They reloaded. They just fucking signed superstars. Yes.

And Deandre Jordan. And well, no, three superstars. Three superstars. Deandre Jordan to his credit is always good for like a 10 and 10 for the rest of time. He's a good player. Yeah. He's a big just sold. He's just sold.

But yeah. So free agency happened. It was very weird because it's essentially what we all thought was going to happen when like during the all star game in the tunnel when Kyrie was doing the two max spots, two max spots with Kevin Durant. And then everyone asked Kyrie what's going on and he was like, you guys make a big deal out of everything. Well, it turns out that's exactly what they were talking about and Kyrie and Kevin Durant

team up in Brooklyn for the nets. Like you said, Kevin Durant not playing next year, but this team is going to be one of the best teams in the East and also one of the most combustible teams in the East because I do not think these guys will get along. Oh, you kidding me? You kidding me for like the long term, having Kyrie and Katie together, those are those are the two personalities. I think at least likely.

It's going to be great. What's going to happen is at first they're going to move to Brooklyn together and they're both very well suited for Brooklyn. As you all know, everyone who's listening to the podcast knows Brooklyn has the best things in the world just across the board, barbecue, race horses, me, big cat, have the best big cat in the world right now. Hey, Katie and Kyrie, you shouldn't have done it because this city sucks. It sounds like, you know what, I would not be surprised if they started their own podcast.

Oh, yeah. Brooklyn. That's what you have to do when you move out there. Well, they, I mean, Katie did his, he announced it on his boardroom Instagram, which was essentially just to get followers. No shame in that game. Boardroom gets paid. He got 160,000 new followers just to put up a static image with Biggie playing behind

it and Woj cucked him ultimately for all of that because he announced it like 530 that Kevin Durant was ready to sign with the nets. Woj, by the way, I had alerts on for Woj at six o'clock. He just went. Yeah. Loaded. Insane. Do they still have that option where you can just send all your drafts at once?

I think that's what happened. That's probably what he did. But I, for the record, Leroy had this last Thursday that he was moving to New York. Last Friday. Yeah. No. And hashtag nets. Oh, okay.

There you go. Yeah. He's moving into the building that Leroy puked in front of one time. Got it. So he's not moving into Brooklyn. No, he's not. He's moving to Manhattan. I'm not going to say where he's going to live.

Got it. All I'm saying is that Leroy is already off of that building because he puked on it when he ate too much grass. Nice. So Woj was all over the place. We have. So should we talk a little more nets? All right.

The big loser in the next thing is the next James Dolan. Well, no, no, because they purposely didn't offer. Yes. Kevin Durant, a max contract because of the Achilles. Can you imagine I listen, if you're a Knicks fan, I would imagine a lot of Knicks fans are opting out of listening to any podcasts today because they don't. This is one of the, this is essentially like losing a championship when you do the thing where you say, I'm not going to watch sports center for the next two weeks, just in the

off chance that I see an image that brings back these memories. The Knicks fans, they can't pay attention to any sports things for the next two weeks at least because in your backyard, the Brooklyn Nets, which everyone makes the jokes about, they got fleeced in the trade by the, by the Celtics, they were rebuilding forever. They're the off brand Knicks, Barclays, Brooklyn, all this stuff. They just took away your two guys that you were supposed to get. On top of all of that, James Dolan said he was worried about Kevin Durant's Achilles and didn't want to offer him a max.

That is the only team. If every team in the NBA had the ability to offer a max contract to Kevin Durant, every single team would give him a max contract and the Knicks, they're the last team. Bringing a guy like that, your insurance premiums go up across the board. Insane. This is not just about the team. This is the guys in the front office, the ticket sales guys, they're going to have to pay more if they've got a guy with injury history like that on the roster.

But yeah, the, the Nets have to be feeling pretty good about themselves. They don't really have that much of a fan base in Brooklyn, but now I guess they're Oh no, they will. Jay-Z. Now they're definitely, yeah, they got Jay-Z and a Russian oligarch, which is those, you know, two out of three of the keystones right there. There's one guy, I went to a couple of Nets games and there's a guy who's had season tickets forever and he's like Nets guy.

So that guy. Yeah. You need, you need a super fan that I'm aware of. Yes. Knicks fans are already looking on to like Giannis in 2021, except this situation is similar to the fact that every team went to recruit and like scout Giannis, except the Nets. Right. Your best hope right now, if you're the Nicks is that there's a superstar coming along that

grew up in Manhattan, but even still rooting for the Nets, even still, that is the best case scenario that you can open. Dude, like if you're a Nicks fan, you got it. I mean, I, as a Bulls fan, I just, I don't assume any free agent will ever come ever. I mean, Anthony Davis is a Chicago guy and he didn't, he was like, no, I want to go to the Lakers. Like just forget it. Forget it.

It's, it's easier to just move on. I've been there many times where you get your hopes up for these big free agents. If you're a Nicks fan, I don't know what, I mean, you have to, I just don't go to games next year. You have to do something like this is at a point where you have every right to say James Dillon needs to be in it. It was, was at that point a while ago, but tonight felt like the real true tipping point. The fact that they didn't get Kevin Durant, the fact that Kevin Durant went to Brooklyn

and then on top of all of that, they're like, Oh yeah, we were worried about his Achilles. We didn't want to give him a match deal, but guess what guys Julius Randall? Pretty cool. Very cool. Awesome. I like in the woj bomb about Julius Randall, it was the only one that mentioned his agents by name. Usually if we're just tweeting these things out, he's just like per sources.

Yeah. But the agents were like, please tell, please tell everybody how we got Julius Randall paid. I feel so fucking bad for Nicks fans. I really do. And I shouldn't because they're kind of Nicks fans have that little bit of cockiness where they still think people want to come to New York, but now it's like, again, it just, move on from that.

It's not going to happen. Like there's every single year feels like the Nicks have an ability to sign a free agent, a big free agent. And it doesn't happen. I mean, I think it's time we might have to take the Mecca nickname away from MSG. Give it a Barclays. Well, with Mecca, at least people go there once a year. Yeah.

And this place, it's like, it's going to be a ghost town next year. The now watch Kauai sign there, like while we're on break. That would be the ultimate. I would respect the shit out of that if Kauai Leonard did that. Now the Lakers, they said that they're having a secret meeting with a unicorn. So there's only one unicorn out there and that's magic. Well, Rob, Rob Polinka doesn't know what the hell is going on. And so he's just inventing people.

But obviously Kauai is going to be meeting with with the Lakers. If Kauai goes to the Lakers, I am, I mean, I said this earlier, but if Kauai goes to Lakers, there's nothing I'm going to do because I'm still watching NBA, but I'm going to pass it aggressively, tweet some mean things. You know what though? If Kauai, if Kauai goes to the Lakers, he would not put up with LeBron's bullshit. Well, that's the thing. This is the whole pitch that they're giving them.

You know clutch is doing the whole come to the Lakers, LeBron's 35, you're the alpha now. You're the number one option. We're going to let you be. We're going to let it be your team. Don't fall for it. Kauai. No, it's real.

Don't fall for it. It's real. If Kauai goes there, automatically he's alpha and then you got AD number two and he's LeBron's LeBron will throw you under the bus. Kauai, don't do it. Stay in Toronto. Have the A speed B, you know, the balance. That's the one thing that's happened tonight.

So let's go through some other moves. Jim J. Butt in Miami, which I think it's kind of solid. It's almost the perfect J. Butt move. It solidifies his place in the NBA world as a very good player who doesn't like he just wants to be himself. Yeah.

So he just wants to be J. Butt. Like, you know, be with Mark Wahlberg, put up good numbers. Mark Wahlberg's daughter. Yeah. Make the bench on an all-star team. Have everyone say, oh, don't forget about Jimmy Butler. Every now and then it will go off and everyone will say, wow, Jimmy Butler, he's the guy.

But now he's on a team that's not really going to compete, but he's going to have a good time. And it's him. Right. It's J. Butt. This was Sasan Whiteside's world that he just took over because Whiteside used to be a guy that's like, in theory, he's a really good player, but nobody ever watches

him play. But Miami loves him. They don't want him to leave. And he's not like, he's not going to get you over the top. This is the perfect place for Jimmy to stay perpetually in the, is he a top 20 player conversation? He could have gone. He could have stayed in Philly. He could have.

There was rumors about him going to Houston. There were rumors about him going to the Clippers. Wherever it may have been, J. Butt could have gone to a place where it was the relevancy was there, maybe a deep playoff run. He was the best guy. Like he was their go-to guy in the fourth quarter for the Sixers. Not the best guy and beads their best player, but he was the guy they needed to be like,

that's the guy you can go to for big, big possessions, big defensive possessions. And he said, you know what, I'm just going to go to Miami, hang out, make a shitload of money, probably win 38 to 42 games. J. Butt, you could have done that in Chicago, man. You could have. Could have just kept on doing that. We could have kept on making the seventh seed together. Could have.

But I mean, you want to go, you want to go someplace hot. This is like, this is riding off into the sunset that Jimmy Butler is doing right now. It's perfect. It's a great time to be retiring while, while not so he said that the reason that he wanted to go to Miami, what, what drew him to the place was he saw how they treated Dwayne Wade. Like, so they gave Dwayne Wade a nice send off when the team was garbage and he was like, this is a town that will suck a loser's dick. And that is where Dwayne Wade is not a loser, but yeah, well, no, no, no, no, like during

that year. Right. Right. Dwayne Wade, what J. Dwayne Wade is the Miami Heat organization. Yeah, he is like, he is their guy. He is the number one guy. When you think of the heat, you think of Dwayne Wade and you think of all his years there.

So J. But nice, nice job putting together that math because it's not going to be the same way. You're going to get a send off in front of like 7,000 people. And remember the time that you, you know, went to the second round and got seven games. Big winner in this is Rachel Nichols, who now gets to fly in last minute to J. Butts practices in South Beach. It's his team. Hang out on the beach.

Yeah. Riley, his team. So all right. So J. Butts to New York or sorry to Miami, Kemba to the Celtics, Hank, you are fully Kemba's better than Kyrie. Yes. Okay.

Now you agree? No, I agree with Hank on this take. I think that he's a better fit up there. Correct. Well, that's just because Kyrie is just, I mean, he could have been a worse teammate. Kemba is a very nice fit. And I mean, if you're thinking about Kemba and like his Yukon days, it's going to be fun to be able to watch Kemba again.

Yes. Kemba has not been on a nationally televised game in God knows how long. What else are you thinking about this whole free agency? I mean, the Al Horford thing just got announced. It's tough because it's like, you know, Al Horford, he's left, you hope, you hope he does well. And then it's like, he goes in science. That's a big move.

Philly. It's kind of tough. It's basically like anywhere but the Sixers. Yeah. So he's getting Tobias Harris, which they had to do one of Tobias Harris or Jimmy Butler. I think they wanted both, but Tobias Harris and Al Horford, that's a nice team. Like Al Horford is kind of, he kind of adds something that they needed in terms of maybe spelling and beat a little bit, maybe giving him be like a, Hey man, don't eat like shit

all year or Hey, don't go all out in the first quarter because you're probably going to need to play more than 33 minutes. Like those. He, he, he owned and be, yeah, but now he's going to be able to help him again. Sucks. He's going to be able to consummate like pro right when you, when they, when they, those black playoffs years two years ago and they played like he dominated every single game. The East is good.

And if Kawhi stays in Toronto, which I fucking hope he does, the East will be very good. And I should mention the Bulls big move that young, no big deal. That's massive. Yeah. Can I throw out something a little stat for you? Hmm. Players with 800 games to average 13.5 points, 5.9 rebounds, 1.4 steals, 49% field goals and 30% from three point magic, Johnson, Larry Bird, Michael Jordan, LeBron, James

that young. That's incredible. This is the funniest. There's someone, I guess this was something that the Pacers put up in a in game. Look at this stat. It's the dumbest stat ever. They basically found what, what could fit all these legends and that young 5.9 rebounds per game.

1.4. Exactly. 5.9. No. Yeah. Or I mean, it might, it might actually be exactly 5.9. That's what I would start doing if I was one of these stats to buy this. Yeah.

Can we actually not get that young? Can we just get the stat guy? Yeah. That guy's awesome. No, I like that young. He's underrated, but that's, I mean, I actually, I envision the Bulls because there was nothing, no talk about them until 6 p.m. I think Gar Forman and John Paxton actually think that you can't talk to anyone until

6 p.m. No, they're playing it by the rules. Yeah. Listen, like a lot of teams out there are playing fast and loose with it, using woes as their go between as a de facto agent, not the Bulls. Kevin Ray was observe a little something called bylaws. Kevin Ray was like, you know, I actually was thinking Chicago, but they just never reached out because they just thought that they had to wait till 6 p.m.

And they're like, nope, we can't tamper guys. We cannot tamper. Let's also not forget that the Knicks did sign Taj Gibson too. Yeah. So maybe instead of Mecca, the Taj Mahal. Taj Gibson is the classic guy where you can basically watch him play and just, if you envision that he is 24 years old, think that someday he's going to be an all star. You know what?

His game is exactly what it's been for his entire career and he's nice, but he just never went further. Jameer Nelson was that guy. I was like, this guy's going to be a Hall of Famer if he puts it all together. I just liked watching. He had a nice crossover and I was like, that's going to translate eventually. So what do we have left? So it's basically Kauai and Boogie Cousins.

I'm very excited to see just what Kevin Durant does in this entire year where he is not going to play. Come on, my take. Come on, my take. He's going to get really into Williamsburg culture. I'm sure that wearing like cool clothes, buying mirrored flat sunglasses, walking around listening to bands that nobody's heard of. I'm very excited for Kevin to spend a year just alone with his thoughts.

He's going to have a good time. Come be best friends with us. I mean, we, he's got to come on the podcast, right? Eventually. You're sounding kind of thirsty right now. No, I mean, he's got to banning. I'm banning Kevin Durant from the podcast for a week, no, no, for a week. No, if he, if he says, I'm uninviting him for a week, we're doing the podcast.

I'm going to be overseas. Yeah, I know. We'll Skype. No. Yes. I know. Officially banned. Unbanned.

Unshunned. Also shout out my guy, Chris Bersard. Great reporting as always. He always nails it during these times. So he tweeted back to back tweets, hearing strong rumblings that Katie headed to Brooklyn. And then the next one, conflicting info. One team that was heavily in hunt for Katie says he's going back to Golden State. And then when Kevin Durant signed with Brooklyn, he was like her to hear first credit to me.

So shout out the brew crew always, always on top of the game, always just shooting his shot, getting something right, not really ever. Still the famous time when, when LeBron went back to Cleveland and it was announced by a sports illustrated article that LeBron like, you know, did the whole thing. And then they went live to sports center and Chris Bersard had his phone in his hand and he's like, just confirming. Yup. Yup.

LeBron James back to Cleveland. Like he was talking to a source, not just reading the sports illustrated article. The whole internet was reading. Oh, that's a, it's a power move to do that. If I was a reporter on TV, I would always take out my phone and act like I was getting the bubbles from somebody to be like, okay, I'm texting with a source right now. And they're saying PFT. Uh, yeah, I've got LeBron James run with it.

LeBron James to the Cavaliers. Uh, okay. So winners, losers, anything else that we got to talk about? I mean, I do Hank, the Celtics definitely won by getting Canba, uh, the Sixers, addition by subtraction. Sixers and net. I mean, the East is good now. The East is good.

Happy for your man. It was good. Scary Terry. Yeah. What do you get? He had a lot of money. He had a lot of money. JJ Reddick, by the way.

Shout out. Going to the Pelicans, which I was cool. Pelicans will be fun to watch. Pelicans will be fun to watch. I was cool with until I remembered that he probably went to the Pelicans for like the whole Zion Duke coach. Okay. Come on.

Terry. Terry is like, I feel like a classic guy that in like three years people are going to make. Wow. Three years ago, Terry Rosier got this much money. Right. That's crazy. Tony Snell, $44 million.

I would like to see, you know, Adam Silver, you want a dumb fucking idea for you to do in the middle of the year, like one of your tournaments, get teams together that are just based on the colleges that they went to. So you've got your JJ Reddick, Grayson Allen, Zion, Barrett. I think that's the basketball tournament. No, but the basketball NBA players. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Yeah. On NBA rosters. Yes. Do that as a midseason tournament. I like that. I like that a lot. Now, Adam Silver has to discuss it because you brought it up. Please discuss.

Oh, Malcolm Brogdon got so much money. Nice. So much fucking money. Congrats. Oh, no, sorry. Chris Middleton. Malcolm Brogdon got traded. Chris Middleton got so much money.

He got like $180 million. You're like 30 more than Kyrie. And the Jazz got, the Jazz are doing some good things. The league is finally, as long as Kawhi doesn't go to Lakers, it's going to be good. I hate that you just said that. If that happens, it's basically like we took all these steps forward to getting everyone even. All the Warriors died and now we're just going to have the Lakers be the super team.

That's going to, I, I, based off what you just saying that, Kawhi is going to sign with the Lakers on Tuesday. Fuck. So people are going to listen and be like, huh? You idiots. All right. I'm actually, I'm rooting for it. No, no, no.

I want it. I want it so bad. Don't do that. I want it so bad. It's going to ruin everything. You're going to have to stay up late to watch the Lakers. No, don't do it. I'm not staying up late.

Okay. Promise? I'm not going to stay up late. Okay. If you want to watch our Dwight Howard interview, which is coming up, you can do it at barstoolgold.com slash PMT barstoolgold.com slash PMT. Let's do who's back and then we're going to do our Mount Rushmore on the other side of Dwight Howard.

Hank, you want to start with who's back? My who's back the week. I have a few. Okay. Go ahead. Vacations, Cousins, Red Solo Cups and shorts. All those things. All those things are back.

What shorts have been back? It's just a big week for all those things. You know what? I'm excited about it. I hope you guys are too. This might be a controversial take, but I think I'm anti-Cousine. Go on because I maybe I'm just a guy that likes to drink his beer fast enough where you don't need a Cousine.

Maybe maybe Cousine is a crutch for the week. It's a participation trophy for drinking a beer like Aaron Rodgers. All right. But counterpoint. What if your Cousine says something cool? Like that? I'm all in. Then I'm all in.

Right. Part of my take. Yeah. Then I'm all in. Okay. I love Cousins. Cousins, you know, what's great about them is they keep your drink so cold and if it's super hot outside and it looks cool and it shows people what podcasts you like.

That's right. Yeah. So you want to just you just listed all the things that we're doing this summer this week this week. Who's back in the week? Yeah. Vacation summer. Where are you going?

I'm going out of the country. Nice. Where? Nice. Down under. Oh, you're going to Chile. Yeah. Pretty much.

Cool. Is that? Bahamas, Mexico? Yeah. The same thing. Yeah. Okay. Nice.

My who's back of the week is United States soccer. So not only did we shit pump those losers, the French. Yes. But also the men's team is banging and slanging in the quarterfinals. Right now we're defeating a team whose country is named after an ingredient that John Taffer pours into ice when you get glass in there. Curacao. What's the name of?

What's the score of the game? One nil. Fuck yeah. One nil at halftime. Chicken in their ass. The safest lead in soccer. Hopefully it doesn't get up to dosa zero. But yeah.

So the U.S. is back. Josie Altner actually had a very nice bicycle kick. Of course he did. Over the weekend. That's what we do in the United States. We dominate soccer. We dominate. And that was talking soccer.

Yeah, that was talking soccer. The U.S. women's team. That was our toughest game. Right? France. Yeah. We. That wasn't even tough.

It was not that tough. We kicked the shit out of them. We beat the shit out of them. They whined a lot. Very tall. Yes. Who had that header. It's like, hey, you should probably guard the tall one.

Uh-huh. But that was talking soccer. You can't really guard a tall person, though, if they're that much taller. Just take them out of the knees. Yeah, you can either cut them down to your size. Or you can do like two kids in a trench coat thing. Who's back? My who's back is future us having big time problems.

So Christian Yellich has announced that he is officially going to do the home run derby. This is his first time in the derby, right? Yep. Pete Alonzo is going to be in it. He's our hope. Brad Jr. Yep. Luke Voigt got hurt.

I hope he can come back because I like, I'm going to say, I like Luke Voigt's tease. I want one person to like really step up in the next week and let it be known that you are doing this for us, like somebody that's going to compete. I want one person to root for. Yankees fans can tell me if this is, he does this all the time, but they cut to him like a zoom in when he was on the bases in London and no joke in a 10 to 15 second clip. He, not even seeds or chew or anything, just spit like small spit a thousand times. That's my favorite thing to do when I'm watching a baseball game is to just see how long it

takes. Because basically a live baseball televised event is just clips between one guy spitting and then they cut to another guy who's also spitting. Usually you usually can't get longer than eight seconds in an MLB broadcast without somebody spitting up a weird loogie. We're going to talk about the London series in segments, but yeah, we're screwed because Christian Yeltsin in the home run derby, we said we need each other's asses. If he wins the home run derby, we're going to hopefully get Christian Yeltsch on the

show next Sunday to little preview. We're going to do a live stream. I'm going to get a wax. Can we get a wax if I get a wax? Yeah, I'll get a wax if you get a wax. Otherwise it's just, it's going to feel like I'm flossing. I don't know what we're going to do. Shame on people who want to see this.

There are a lot of people out there. You're gross. Yeah. You're smiling real wide. Hank wanted to, he started to unbutton his pants. That's nasty, Hank. Put him back on. I'm just worried about the integrity of this podcast.

We don't have the board yet. All right. So future us is a problem. We'll figure something out. Okay. Yeah, we'll figure something out. We have, all right. Let's do our Dwight Howard interview.

Before we get to Dwight Howard, we were brought to you by Mountain Dew. At Mountain Dew, we say here's to the doers who do it big, then do it bigger. Grab yourself an ice cold Mountain Dew today. Do the do. Quick story here. When we found out that we were presented by Mountain Dew, I've never seen Hank happier in his life. He is literally sitting on a throne of Mountain Dew as we speak.

And I've just been drinking off of it too. We are doers now. Mountain Dew hooked us up with all these cases of Mountain Dew. It's Hank's favorite drink. It has now become my favorite drink. And our guy Caleb was out at the Dew Tour last week. I think that stuff has already come out, but check it out. Caleb at the Dew Tour, there's nothing better than that.

And we are big Mountain Dew guys. So go, it's the summer of the do. Summer of the do. Go get your Mountain Dew and drink all the Mountain Dew that you can because we love it as well. Do the do. Doers. Okay.

We now welcome on Dwight Howard. He is an eight time all star, future Hall of Famer, Washington wizard. Let's start this Dwight. Welcome to the van. Yeah, this van is pretty nice. Yeah, it is pretty nice. Right? You like it?

You can stand up in it when we pop the top. I like this. You know, I could let's let's start with how the injury is going because you obviously were out for basically the majority of 2019, so we need an update on that. Man, my body feels amazing. I've been in the gym, you know, for the last couple of months, you know, really, you know, trying to get my body right and I feel good, man. My legs are back up under me.

Now it's just about, you know, getting the strength that I need to be able to to play an 82 game season next year. I'm a wizard's fan from the DC area originally, so I'm hoping for good things for you next year health wise. Thank you. Can you just say that you feel like you're in the best shape of your life because that's a good headline for us? I would definitely say by the end of the summer, I'll be a totally different person than I

am today. Okay. Okay. You get a three point shot. Listen, I've been not it's just it's overall, so I would say, okay. I'm not going to be a ball mental. Just everything, you know, my diet is also changing. So everything about me will be different.

You know, I might even look different because I got different hair. I like the hair. I was going to say that here's real nice. Real nice. All right. So we usually want to start like kind of at the beginning of your career, go back in time. I actually want to start before your professional career started.

I read a little fact that when you were in seventh grade, you put a list above your bed of your goals. Yeah. And one of the goals was to go one one in the draft accomplished. So what other goals were on that list? And do you still have it? I do still have that list, but that was my list for high school. And you know, I usually make a list every season or every year, what, you know, I would

love to accomplish. And it started back then in the seventh grade, you know, you know, we were always taught to, you know, write our vision down, you know, and look at it and meditate on it and study it and then make it happen. And that's why I continue to do that to this day. It allowed me to become the player and the person that I am today. So I think it's also good for everybody to, you know, if you have a vision or something that you want to accomplish in life, to write it down, you know, and, you know, meditate

and, you know, try to get to that place where you feel like you're going to accomplish it. Yeah. So I had a good morning on my list of goals, interviewed Dwight Howard in the back of a video. Boom. So boom. I have it just like that. What's on it right now?

What's on it right now? Do you have stuff on it right now? Well, my biggest goal, you know, what I've always wanted to do is, you know, change the world. Okay. That's a pretty big goal. That's a pretty big goal. That's a pretty big goal.

And, you know, the more, you know, I guess having that time of being out, you know, from the injury, you know, it's like, man, in order to change the world, I got to change my world. I got to change my surroundings. You know, just anything that would keep me from, you know, being able to be who I, you know, my purpose for, you know, being on this earth. I like it. That was, that's something for me. I like it.

So going back to high school, you were, you were inspired by Kevin Garnett, right? He was like the guy you looked up to a lot and he went straight from high school to the NBA. Was there ever any doubt in the back of your mind where you like, Hey, maybe, you know, I'll go spend a year in college, see what that life's like, maybe get paid more money at Duke. I never wanted to go to college. Never.

Not even a thought. My whole life. I never wanted to go to college. Is there any thought in the back of your head right now? Like maybe I'll go back to school one day. I don't think so. You don't need to. Do you think maybe you would have made more money if you had gone to college and entered

the business world? Probably not. Well, that's a good possibility, but I don't think nothing, you know, is like being able to do something that you love, you know, for your, for your life, you know, but, you know, there's a lot of benefits to going to college. I think if you're trying to make money as a basketball player, why not just go straight to the league or do whatever, whatever your profession is, but me, I don't know. I wouldn't want the college.

No, I think, I think you made the right decision. Yeah, I think I did too. So Orlando, I always am curious with this. When you go to the finals and you guys had that kind of miracle run, but it kind of came out of nowhere where it, where the magic popped up because it was a lot of LeBron and the Celtics at that point in time. The Celtics, the Lakers. Yeah.

So when you get to the finals, do you think at that point in your career, I'll be back here a ton and then now look back and say, shit, I did, man, I was like, man, this is what it feels like. I was like, man, I want to, I want to play here all the time. Like, it's kind of like, it was weird because once you play, there's like, you don't think about the regular season and saying, like, it's just like, oh, that's the regular season. Because when I get here, this is the real stuff. This is it right here.

This is what I want to feel like the atmosphere, man, in Orlando during the playoff series, playing against LeBron in the Eastern Conference finals and then playing against the Lakers. It was like, man, it was like something that I want everybody to be able to experience. It's like, it's like an overwhelming feeling of, you know, like, man, I really accomplished something for this city. Yeah. You guys had a really good team then too. It was you, you had Turcaloo on the outside, right?

Turcaloo. Rashad. Rashad. I was hurt. Reddick. And the guys who played a lot was Anthony Johnson and Skip Tamaloo. Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

Rafer. Those guys made it happen. You guys had quite a squad then. I remember watching you handle LeBron and the Cavaliers at that point, I was like, this is a really good team. And you guys kind of changed the way a lot of teams approach basketball. Oh, yeah. Stocked outside shooters everywhere.

Oh, man. So they dis the ball to you, collapse the defense, kick it out, nail three. It was a pretty simple formula, but it worked. It also seemed at that time that you had kind of a real rivalry with LeBron. Oh, yeah. Based out of that series. So was that all friendly on the court, or was there actually like some underlying animosity like I want to show?

No. Well, I mean, obviously when you're playing, you know, you always want to be the best player on the floor. And you know, I love LeBron. I think everything he's done as a basketball player and a man and father and all that stuff has been amazing. So, you know, I'm very happy to see the success that LeBron has. But on the court, it's like I hate him.

You know, I want to kill him. I want to beat him every time. You know what I'm saying? It's like I'd be so angry because I'm like, I want to be there. I want to I want to beat him tonight. And you know, it's a good, it's a feeling that you're supposed to have as a competitor. Like nobody's better than you when you step on that floor. Right.

So the ending in Orlando got a little awkward. Oh, man. You still talk to Stan Van Gundy. Have you talked to him? When I see him, we do communicate. Okay. What was that? That was one of the most awkward press conferences of ever.

It was, but you know, I really think a lot of people got it mixed up as though, like, you know, me and Stan had some type of beef. Mm hmm. Well, he said that. Yeah. He did say I wanted him fired. And it just it called me off guard because I was like, you know, that's something that, you know, I never said, you know, I think Stan's a great coach.

And I think he, he did an amazing job with the team that we had in Orlando. And I was never upset at the, at that, you know, but, you know, I just felt like my time was up in Orlando and I wanted to go somewhere else, you know, it had nothing to do with the fans or the city or the team. Um, you know, I just was too comfortable. Yeah. And, you know, sometimes in life when you're too comfortable, you got to get out of your own comfort zone to grow.

And you know, that was all I wanted, you know, and, you know, I made a lot of mistakes. As a player, person or whatever, but, you know, I don't regret any decision that I made because it's got me to a great point in my life right now. What about the sports illustrated cover with Steve Nash? That's regrettable. I mean, that was one of, obviously there was a lot of hype when you come to LA, they get Steve Nash, it's Kobe, Dwight Howard, Steve Nash, not so much. Well, you know, I just think, uh, injuries stopped our team from being as successful

as we could have been. Um, and it was rough, you know, me coming off back surgery, uh, pal getting injured, meta world piece getting injured, uh, Steve Nash being out half the season, you know, it was, it was kind of like, man, nobody was, was, was healthy that year. And then at the end of the year, Kobe got hurt and, um, it just kind of went down here from there. I want to jump back real quick to you and stand who had better handles, stand or skip to my Lou.

Oh, a stank. Yeah. He has that spin move. Yeah. And then he got wide shoulders too. Stan got some handles, bruh. He's smooth. Yeah.

He's like, oh, I'm going to get you with the hands and step back. I'm like, yo, he's nice. He's nice. You got some wide shoulder. Can you, can you touch both sides of the van at the same time? Easily. Yeah, probably. Yeah.

Easily. Easily. So while you were in Orlando, the dunk contest, I have a real problem with you that I've been wanting to get off my chest for years. What is it? 11 years? 10 years? That wasn't really a dunk.

It is a dunk. You don't have to touch the rim. You don't have to touch the rim to dunk. You just threw it in there. So I can dunk. Thank you. If you can get up there over the rim and throw it in, that's considered a dunk. So the ball has to be traveling downward.

You have to, if you throw it in, it's something that only people who can actually dunk. I've done it before, Dwight. Okay, so you haven't seen those people who do this stuff on the trampoline, throw the ball in. Yeah, but that's, they're not playing a game. That's a travel. Okay, we wasn't playing a game. It's not a travel in the air.

No, you have to take two steps and then jump off the trampoline. That's a walk. That's not a walk. It's also up and down. It's a gather step. It's a gather step. It doesn't matter what you're talking about, dunking the ball, throwing the ball in. You're talking about slam ball.

So you think that was a real dunk? It is a real dunk. You think you should have won that? I did win. Yeah, I don't know. The problem too is that you're too tall. Like it's actually the reverse with Nate Robinson. Like Nate Robinson, everyone voted him for the same dunk contest because he's short.

I know, but you're too tall. It doesn't matter. I like my dunk contest winners between 6-3 and like 6-3. You ain't even dunked before. No, I don't dunk. Yeah. So you have to be short to dunk the ball? No, you have to be medium height.

Too short is also bad because everyone's like, Nate Robinson, oh my God, what a dunk. He's like, no, he was just short. Okay, so what would be the difference? You need to be 6-3 to 6-8. To dunk the basketball? No, to win the slam dunk contest. I'm 6'9, 6'10 for real. No, you're 7'5.

I'm not 7' at all. Really? Have you ever been listed as 7' feet? Never. Look it up. People say that, but the TV say 6'11. I'm not even 6'11. The thing is, if you're listed as a center, they automatically put 6'11 or 7'11.

Yeah, if you're listed as a center, you're automatically 7'1. Yeah, 7'1. So also, after that dunk contest, that kind of rejuvenated the game a little bit. Everybody was like, oh, the dunk contest is back. Yeah, well, yeah. LeBron was like, I'm for sure competing next year. See, I don't think LeBron's a dunk contest dunker. You know what I'm saying?

He's right height. Well, no, it's just, well, I think he's better off when he does what he does in the warm-ups and stuff like, because it's a whole different atmosphere. Right. And you know, he's a great dunker, but it's a difference like Vince Carter. You know, he has that type of like... Isaiah Ryder. Spring.

Isaiah Ryder, okay. Blake Griffin, like that. He was actually in this van two days ago. Yeah, yesterday. For real. Man, I like Blake. You know who Blake looked like? Who?

Canelo Alvarez. Oh, yes. Yes, yes. He does. Every time I watch him fight, I'm like, man, he looked just like Blake. All right. So is it weird being back? Like, do you have any ill will towards LA with however you're in?

I don't hate nobody. Okay. He had no worries. What about Kobe? I love Kobe. He's one... I think he's... You said he was better than Michael Jordan, which is stupid.

All right. That was not stupid. That was stupid of you. That was really dumb. How was it dumb? Of course you didn't go to college. You don't know that Michael Jordan's better than Kobe. I can have him on a pin.

I think... Well, I don't have an opinion. I think Wilt Chamberlain is the best player. Oh, that's Big Man Bass. There you go. I like that. No, I like Big Man Bass. I like any new player you can introduce.

Wilt Chamberlain has 68... Wilt Chamberlain has 68 of the 72 NBA records. Okay. Big Man Bass. Who's better than that? He got all the records. He got all the records. Yeah, they didn't keep track of a lot of stuff back then.

They didn't keep track of what? Rebound. Not enough rings. The assistant. Rebound. He's got one ring. Two rings. He got 23,000 rebounds.

Yeah, but he's playing against a bunch of short white dudes. All right. We'll go outside and do like this 23,000 times. Wilt Chamberlain was playing against a bunch of me's back then. It doesn't matter. He should average 100 a game. He still did it. Okay.

He's up there, but I'll just say, you know... All right. So we're going to go... MJ? MJ or Kobe? This is what I was saying about that. Yeah. When I say Kobe is better than Michael Jordan, I'm talking about as far as skilled in the

overall game. Kobe could shoot threes. Mike wasn't a three-point shooter. He didn't have to be. He didn't have to be. He didn't have to be. He didn't have to be. He didn't have to be.

He didn't have to be. He didn't have to be. We're talking about who's better. He won. Okay. Michael Jordan took a lot of shots. Yeah, he did, but he won... We're talking about skills.

Kobe can do everything Michael Jordan can do, but he learned how to do it better offensively. This is what I'm talking about. Oh, defense matters. You know that. Defense matters. That's why you don't care. That's why you don't care. Three.

But this is what I'm saying. Kobe is better. I think he took what Jordan did and then he added more to it. Okay. He copied him. I agree with you there. You're supposed to copy somebody that's better than you. And it's wrong.

But you're supposed to copy what you learn, what you see. You take something from everybody's game. Okay. Was it tough to play with Kobe? It was. Yep. Duh. What?

Oh, you think? He said it was tough to play with him. For sure. I mean, he just expects a lot out of everyone. That's not it. We expect a lot out of ourselves. Yeah. When you play basketball, I always go out there and say I want to get 20-20 every night.

That's my goal. So I expect nothing but the best of myself. I don't think that was a problem. I think it was... He shot the ball a lot. Yeah. So it took away from Steve Nash being the point guard because Steve Nash really wasn't the point guard because Kobe had the ball a lot.

And if you look at the guys that I played with Kobe, there's no offense to Kobe. Like I said, I think he's better than Jordan. But I don't think Andrew Bynum got a chance to really develop because as a big man, in order to develop, you need those touches. You need a chance to get a rhythm of the game, a rhythm of how teams play you. If you look at a guy like MB, he gets a lot of touches. And that's why he looks so... Well, he's good, but he gets a lot of touches so he has a rhythm.

You know what I'm saying? If you're getting eight, nine shots a game, then it's like kind of hard to get into a rhythm of what you want to do and how you can read guys on a block. So I think that's where it was kind of hard for me to play with Kobe. And because I wanted to get into a rhythm a little bit too. But in order to win, you know, you got to give a little bit more of yourself than what you would want to give. So it's a real given to me.

Yeah. I mean, you see it right now with Stefan when Katie's out and Stefan, you know, clearly does more offensively when he's out and they take a step back a little. We've been talking about Steph. All right. I'm going to ask you all this. Okay. We're sports experts.

No, he's not better than Kobe and Michael Jordan. If Steph wins this year. Yeah. Is he top five all the time? No. No. He got four championships in five years. Yeah.

Okay. But it's so Cremon. So it's Cremon. It's Cremon. So does Iggy. We're talking about Steph. So does Iggy. This Steph team.

He's been there. He started it. No. He's definitely, I think he's the, I think he's probably the second best point guard of all time, like getting into that conversation. I think he's the greatest shooter of all time. For sure. Best point.

Magic. Allen Iverson. No. All right. We just been talking about this. Allen Iverson was more skilled than Magic Johnson. Hold up. Steph is better than AI.

Yeah. I'd agree. I agree. He better than AI. Yeah. It's just AI was just what he. I'd agree. Off the court.

What he meant for everybody was a little bit different than it is with Steph. Yeah. Cultural change. Yeah. That's what, so I get, when people say that they think Steph is, I mean, AI is better. I think that's what they're coming from. I was just looking at pure basketball, like not saying, like, I love AI. You know what I'm saying?

There's no hate, but it's, I like Steph, man. I guess it's because, you know, I see him. I've seen him more than, you know, Allen Iverson. Yeah. Do you want to be in Space Jam 2? We're trying to find someone. I will be. I can see myself in a monster.

There we go. First grease in Space Jam 2. I want to be a monster. Okay. You want to play against? Yeah. So you run on the court. I like it.

Yeah. But in Space Jam, so he going to win. Yeah, that's true. That is true. But what they could do is they could have another movie after that. Or maybe you back it as a monster halfway through. No, it could be like the Marvel version of, what just ended? The Avengers.

Avengers. Yep. The Rocky. The Rocky. Yeah. Okay. The important thing is we finally have another cast member for Space Jam 2. Who else is in it?

Nobody. Oh, dang. Yeah, you literally were the first to agree. Yeah. Just now. Thanks, but no thanks. That's kind of, I'm not going to say it's the name of you, but yeah, you were the first to agree.

Nobody want to do it. No. You do. Hey, man. Sign me up. Hey, there you go. Hey, there you go. Hey, Howard is in.

The bruh. I'm in. In. 100% in on Space Jam 2. Why do you own snakes? That's weird. I love snakes, man. That makes you weird.

I have about 20, 21, 22 snakes. That is weird. You can't trust a snake. That is real. That is. Because those are pets. Do they all kill you, man? I got a lot of them that have names with some of them, but they won't kill you.

Wait, you have some that are just snake? You got to earn it. Yeah. All right. So a snake don't know their names. Now they're going to come if I say they come here. So why would I name them? Yeah.

Do you have your favorite snake? I do. His name is George. George? That's a very funny name for a fucking snake. No, I'm going to tell you what. Curious George. Okay.

I've had him since he was like real tiny. And now he's like 18 feet. Fuck, man. That's crazy. He's like 18 feet. Oh, man. It's probably about a hundred pounds right now. He humongous.

What are you doing? He's big. He's big. Have you lost any of them? Wait, wait, wait. He eats a lamb? I'm messing with you. Have you lost any of them?

I have. Yeah, you have. Because that's what snake people do. They get the snakes. No, no, no, no, no, no. But I got him back. Yeah, but there was a moment in time where you're like, yo, somewhere in my house. There's a snake.

It was like for 10 minutes. Oh, man. Anyway, George, he got out one time. Yeah, of course they all do, but he just came and laid on me. He was like, I was missing you. But he's like, he's like crazy right now. He's big, but he's a good snake. You know what he was doing?

He laid on you because he was trying to figure out if you could beat you or not. No, he was a baby. He's a good snake. He's a good baby. He's curious. You know. Okay. I mean, the snake stuff is weird.

Did you ever get sick of all the Shaq comparisons going from Orlando to LA playing with Kobe? I did only because, you know, Shaq is his own man and I'm my own man. You know, the Superman came from a soldier boy dance. Yeah. Nothing to do with Shaq or anything like that. Well, it was a comic book, but yeah. It was. Yeah, it was a comic book.

I'm saying like that's why people start calling me that because I always did the dance. Yeah. My teammates was like, yo, you should wear a cape and put on a Superman outfit for the dunk contest. I was like, okay. Yeah. And that's where everybody's like Superman. Yeah.

And what about, so you did an interview with Charles Barkley. I think it was last year. It was the last year where you said you've basically become like the guy who everyone hates and that where are you at with that? Do you care about the haters? No, man. I did, but I don't think it's, you know, you can be aware, but I don't think that you have to put energy into worrying about, you know, all that stuff.

You know, it's hard because, you know, for me, I like, I love people. Right. I like to be around people. I can tell that. You know, get out and stuff like that. But I just don't think that it's necessary for people to, you know, hate on anybody because we, we are all special. We can all do things that other, you know, people can't do on this earth.

So instead of hating, just do what you do. Appreciate what they have. Appreciate everybody's talent because it's all different. And, you know, life is too short to be worried about what somebody else is doing. But it is interesting because you have had a interesting career arc that you went from maybe like one of the guys who everyone's like, man, this is Dwight Howard, future of the NBA, like the smile, the cape, all that stuff to a guy who people, yeah, a villain who'd be like bad teammate, all that stuff.

I mean, in that process, has it been tough to kind of like deal with that change that's happened? And like you said, some of them are mistakes or some of them are, you know, well, yeah, you know, it's crazy. You know, I hate hearing this, you know, kind of stuff. You know, I didn't know how I could ever be a bad teammate. Like I, I like having fun. You know, I'm the person that's going to bring jokes and, you know, stuff like that.

Never been somebody to be messy or anything like that. You know, I don't, I didn't understand that part, but it's okay. You know, everything happens for a reason. You know, I'm in a better place now than I ever been. So that's all that stuff really bothers me. You know, I don't regret any decision that I've ever made. You know, it was something that was a lesson for me to learn. I don't, you know, really look at it as a mistake.

A lot of things I could have done better than I see now, but everybody in the world says that about this. Yeah, that's true. That's a fair point. Me now, man, is just living every day in a moment and just enjoying it, man. Life is, life is pretty good. It is. Yeah.

I mean, you got into this shady ass van next to the Four Seasons or the Ritz or whatever that is. Man, and none of your snakes would be this big. Yeah. So life is good when none of your snakes would take you. I would take this around the United States. You're going to be a van guy, maybe? Yeah.

A van guy is the snake guy. You know, just go out and have a good time. Yeah. So do you still love basketball? I love basketball. Good question. Great question. Was there any point that you started to question, like maybe going through some of the injuries?

I don't back injuries in particular. Yeah. Those are self-recovered. I have one. They deal with, you know, you injure your back. It's psychological. Your hamstring, too. Yeah.

It all affects. The back is connected to everything else in the body, I think. At any point during the recovery or, you know, you get injured again, do you start to question, do I really love this? Do I want to keep doing this? Always. I think, you know, this is being human. You know, we all, you know, question when we have issues and stuff like that.

And when I was hurt, it's like, man, what am I going to do? Like, do I want to continue to play? But I started thinking like, man, I'm not going to give up on myself, you know, just because, you know, I had an injury. I know I'm better and I can be better than whatever I've been if I just, you know, lock in and focus on what I need to focus on. So, you know, that was what was driving me, you know, just to stay mentally, you know, focus because it's hard, man.

I had to sit at home all year. I wasn't able to be around the team because I couldn't travel. So I felt like I was disconnected from the whole sport itself because I couldn't, I couldn't go nowhere. Right. So I missed all the games and it's like, man, I just missed the atmosphere. Right. So it was very tough.

One of the things that I was, I was really happy for you during your career when you went back to Orlando, I think you were on the Lakers and they fouled you a shit ton. They just hacked the fuck out of you. And I think you shot 16 for 20 from the line against them. That must have felt pretty good. It was cool. It was pretty cool. It was cool.

It was, I just hated going back to hearing all the people that, you know, was cheering my name, you know, you know, coming to the game just to, you know, say, you know, crazy things. Like I have relationships with a lot of these people, you know, and you know, a lot of people just upset because I decided to do something for myself. Right. Yeah, but you got to understand we're fans. So I understand that.

I understand that. Love building. That's cool. That's got a snake. It does. It does. It does. It does.

It does. It does. It does. But it's just like if you saw him, you know, you like, Hey, fuck, no, fuck you bet. Yeah, you be fat all the time. Fuck you, Big Cat. Fuck you, man. Piece of shit.

Say it. Fuck you, Hank. Did you say it? Yeah, fuck you, Hank. Well then fuck you, Hank. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Doesn't that feel good.

It feels really good. That's crazy. What I was saying, like I would like more than anything is when a team does the hack a shack, for, you know, it could be against anybody, if they make those shots. I love it because the look on the coach's face is like, I spent all my game play time. Yeah, that's a game plan. They're like, shit, hey, no more fouling, leave him alone.

Then you always have one teammate who didn't hear coach say that and they come foul again. So it's like, yeah, I got you back. I have a suggestion, if you ever fall into another free throw slump, what's your, are you shooting good recently from the line? I forget how the last couple of years. How's the free throws going?

I think it'll be way different next year. Okay, oh, you're going underhand. Yeah, that's my suggestion. I won't have to go underhand. I can shoot free throws. It's all in my head. Here's the bad thing. So a lot of people, they're afraid to try the granny shot

because it's called, come on, dude. Dwight, you're open minded guy, right? Come on. I'm very open minded. But I won't do that shit. Open minded. The problem is, it's called the granny shot. I know what it's called.

No one wants to do that. Yeah. We switch it up, we call it the pimp grip. Yeah. It's the same shot, but it's underhand. It's the pimp grip. Pretty cool now. Man, that shit sounds stupid.

Yeah. What if it's a, what if we do something with Snake? The Snake spin. It's not working. The Snake spin. I would just shoot the ball. It's all mental. Okay, so, oh, it is.

So are you one of those guys who made them all in practice? I've never missed in practice. Really? So what happens when you get out there? No, I don't want to miss. Yeah. So I'd be thinking too much like, I don't want to miss, don't want to miss.

And then you're uptight and I miss. Okay. Oh, one other tip. Big Cat actually came up with this one. It worked pretty well. That's Big Cat, yeah. You look like somebody. Big Cat.

No. Pablo Escobar. Matt Leiner. If Matt Leiner drank way too much, ate way too much. He went Pablo Escobar. Yeah, Pablo Escobar. Oh, man.

Yeah, so he had a good idea. Freddie Mercury. Back in March Madness, he said, he was talking to the center on Wisconsin and said every time you shoot it, just say wet. Wet. Before you shoot.

Wet. Just mouth it, he's a wet. Wet. So just shoot and say wet. Wet. Man, that ain't doing that. No, that's mental. It's mental.

That's not mental. That's still wet. Instead of thinking, oh, I hope I don't miss. I tried it before. It didn't work. I was like, every time I said something, that shit was hit the back of the backboard. Hard as shit.

Yeah. Or just stick your tongue out like a snake. You know what I used to hate? What? I used to hate when teams put the microphone on. Oh, yeah. And they only do it for the big man. Yeah.

Then they'd be like, boo. Clang. And the crowd would be like, oh. Pretty satisfying though. The crowd would be getting nervous. That's true. Like, dude, Clang is very, very nice. Did you hear that?

Dwight, because you have joined us in this van and you've been a lot of fun, I felt like I had to be honest with you. I've had some tweets about you. Go ahead, tell me. You sure? Yeah. All right.

Some of them are bad. Go ahead. All right. Dwight Howard to his agent, this was on July 1, 2016 when you signed with the Hawks. Dwight Howard to his agent, find me a team where the fan base doesn't really care sort of like me.

That was pretty mean. That was pretty mean. That was pretty mean. No, that was all right. OK, yeah, yeah. Let's see. I had the Dwight Howard is such a dickhead. I don't even know what that's about.

That was on 2013. What'd you do then? 75, 2013. I don't know. You did something. So yeah, I don't know either. But I felt like I had to be honest with you. OK.

Don't think that you're a dickhead anymore. Yeah, I like you now. Let's see. Is Dwight Howard the coach killer? That was pretty mean. That was pretty mean. That was mean. I'm going to say it right now.

That was mean. You can hit him. Yeah. But here we go. Dwight, here's the good news. I also, you were the creation of one of my favorite ideas I've ever had when you got into it with a fan in, I think it was Atlanta in 2015.

I had the idea every player should get to fight one fan a year. No, that's not happening. And no legal recourse. You don't get arrested. Nothing happens. You get to just be like, hey, you. You've been fucking riding me all game.

Come on out here and fight me at center court. I thought about that. I thought about that before. You created that in my mind. I know what you're saying. Yeah. But that ain't good, man. No, once a year, because then you know what the best part

about it is? Somebody will get hurt real bad. But Dwight, here's the thing. Once you use it, you lose it. So if you go to a game in March and you're like, hey, who on the roster right now still has their fight a fan like eligible? And so, yeah, it's like.

And then if you sit close, you have to be like, all right, if I'm going to yell at these guys, they could pick me out. So it adds a whole element of like, you know, the NBA would get huge ratings. Like, ooh, last game of the season, Dwight Howard hasn't used his fight a fan. And now we get to see what happens. I'm glad you're ready to produce it.

OK, I'm going to say it. That's a good idea. You got to keep that in your mind. You created that shit, man. You would also have a lot of that created. Because when you were yelling at a fan or got into it with a fan, that's where I was like, boom, light bulb went off. Everyone should be able to fight a fan.

Yeah, but no, they say some crazy shit. I know. What was that one? I can't remember. I don't know. Somebody called my mom a whore one time. And I wanted them to fight him. No.

Come on, dude. You got to fight him. I would have hurt that man real bad. Yeah, I know. That's the good part. That's not good, man. We strong as hell, bro. It's part.

Yeah, I know. It's part of the ticket when it says, you know, when you go to a baseball game, like, could get hit by a foul ball. Boom. That's different. Yeah, could get hit by Dwight Howard's fist. You don't want to hit him.

I did want to hit him, though. Yes, I know what you did. But then I thought about how he said, and I was like, no, he's not going to fight. Yeah. Let your mom the whore. Man, no, I ain't. What's your tune in 2013 that called you a dick?

Man, that's 2013. Does it like this? So that was July. So that was over. That was July. There was some going. I don't know. Free agency, yeah.

Did you and Kobe fight? Hell no, we ain't fighting. There was a rumor that you fought. We ain't never fight. He said that you worried too much. Was that true? Not worried too much? About the snakes eating you?

No, you know what? He said something that I finally understood what he was saying. You know, I think at first I took it the wrong way. And I think a lot of people were saying, oh, he's soft. You know, I don't think he was ever talking about something physical. Right.

I think he was talking about more like. You know, mental stability, where I allow things to get in my head that I shouldn't have. So right. Kobe always thinks everybody worries too much. Like, you're Kobe Bryant. He thinks the volcano worries too much. I mean, I can see why he doesn't have to worry.

He's going to get 40 shots a game. Right. But it's not a worry. But is that something he told you? I wouldn't worry too. I wouldn't worry. Yeah. Is that something he told you, though,

in the moment that obviously you're like, what the fuck? Nah, I heard people say on TV or something like, Kobe said you're soft. And I think, oh, we're supposed to fight on the court. Anybody thought we was going to fight? Yeah. And he was like, you're soft. And so everybody was like, oh, Kobe said he's soft.

I guess he's real soft because Kobe Bryant said it. I just realized now I know why you want to be in Space Jam 2 so bad. Why? Because you were supposed to be in the equalizer. I was supposed to be in the equalizer. I had played. Bobo was just in the movie.

Yeah. Bobo, I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it, but I saw the commercial. So I was in the theater, right? Was not expecting to see Bobo. And he's the first scene. And I see this big giant walk past. You haven't seen the movie yet.

He walks in. And when I see it, I say, oh, and I say it loud. And everybody's like, I was like, yo, Bobo. And I couldn't help myself. I'm like, man, I like Bobo. He can't fit in here. No. No, no, no, no, he can't fit in here.

No, absolutely not. But you were supposed to be in the equalizer? I love that movie. I wasn't really supposed to be in it. Oh, you just thought you should be in it? Yeah, I just wanted to be in it. OK, well, there's going to be an equalizer three. So if LeBron passes on you for Space Jam 2,

we'll get you an equalizer three. You watched Game of Thrones? Yeah. Yeah, I saw it. You look like a character. Thank you. Don't take Tyrion. Don't take Tyrion, who do I look like?

No, you don't look like Tyrion. Now I want to call you Rick. I felt bad for Rick. Yeah, Rick had it bad. Man, Jon Snow, real bad. Fight, Jon Snow. Yeah, Rick had it real bad. Why does Jon Snow do that?

I realized because he was a war criminal. No, he didn't do it. He was supposed to be the king. No, but he was saving the realm. How was he? What realm? The whole realm. How was that saving the whole realm?

Because he was going to kill everyone. And she did. Yeah, she was going to keep killing people. Well, no, he killed her. But I'm saying, why can't they make him king? Why can't they fuck it up? Or why can't he just throw off the thing? Because Grey Worm.

Dude, because Grey Worm had no fucking dick, so all he had to live for was king. Did he have a kid? No, he didn't. No. Who was that girl he was talking to? He was just eating her. Yeah.

Oh, I feel bad for him. They cut his thing. Yeah, no, he just ate that box. So y'all watched Game of Thrones? Yeah. Y'all remember when Hold the Door? When Hold the Door? Yeah.

I was like, Hold the Door, Hold the Door. I was like, when that was by the elevator. And I actually saw, like, it said HD. And I kept thinking, Hold the Door. Hold the Door, Hold the Door. All right, I got one last question. Seeky question. Put in promo code TAKE.

You get $10 off. Dwight Howard, how much longer are you going to play? I don't know. The way my body's been feeling? Yeah. I could probably play till I'm 40. OK, how old are you? Do you want to play till I'm 40?

I'm 33. OK. Whoa. I do want to play till I'm 40. Are you intimidated now? Am I older? I'm older than you. Well, by one year.

You intimidated? No. OK, you should be. Why? You look like you're older, bro. I'm respectable. Both of y'all. If you think he looks like Pablo, I look like a warrior.

No, you look like he was in Bill and Ted's Excellency. That's also true. That's also true. Yeah, so 40. 40. Yeah. OK. I like that.

I like that. Also, I can totally all day. No, I'm happy you came in, because now I won't tweet mean things at you, because, like, if you were in Space Jam, I would have been, like, pray for the Monsters coached Dwight Howard's on your team now. But I won't tweet that.

I'm not going to tweet that now. I want to be a monster, bro. Yeah, hopefully. I mean, I can have little dreads, like I got in my hair now. And that team? I'm like, yeah, LeBron. Wasn't it fucked up that the Monsters

stole talent from Sean Bradley? It's like, what? You can find a better player than Sean Bradley. No, actually, Sean Bradley wasn't that bad. He just got dunked on a lot. He was bad. He was bad. He got dunked on a lot.

Not only did he get dunked on a lot, but he was also hilarious when he got dunked on a lot. He was bad. He was like a trip fall over and he got himself. But he had the same face. Let's face never change. It's like, bro, make another face. He's just like, yes.

Are you ever afraid of getting dunked on and put on a poster? Hell, yeah. I think everybody don't want to be put on it. You either block the shot or get out of the way. Yeah, but you're a very good defensive player. So you're right, but if somebody coming out of lane and they already in the air, why would you dunk? No free buckets.

Yeah, I break the ribs. Yeah, that's right. You don't dunk on me. I break your ribs. Man, I would. You can't get out. You probably could jump over a quarter. You can't even jump over a quarter.

I don't have to. I don't have to jump over a quarter. Break your ribs. How are you going to break my ribs? You're going to be on the ground. I'd spear you. Goldberg spear. Yeah, Goldberg spear.

Did you watch? Did you watch? Oh, fuck yeah, I did. I love Goldberg. Hell yeah. Why he always looking so mad? Because he was. He was not that mean.

He was mad. He was mad. Who was your favorite wrestler? Stone Cold, probably. If I had to, like, actually be like, this is my favorite of all time, it's probably Stone. I like X-Box. X-Box.

X-Box. So one time, did you know that? Yeah. X-Box and Kane is my favorite tag team. Yeah, DX. You used to DX people? I used to do this in the game. Did David Cern ever be like, yeah, you got it on there?

Did David Cern ever be like, Dwight, stop DXing people? They sent me a video and said stop. Really? Somebody had to explain to David Cern what suck it meant. Nah, he probably already knew. Wait, do you like when people say Dwight, like Charles? I'd ready to say that, Dwight.

Say that, Dwight? Yeah, Dwight. Yeah, that actually is kind of weird. Dwight Shrut kind of ruined your name. How? We don't have the same name. Dwight. Dwight.

Oh, that's what they call it. I didn't even know what it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That first Dwight. You kind of ruined it for everyone. All the Dwights out there. You don't even know a lot of Dwight. I know Dwight Shrut.

You know too. Yeah. Dwight, Howard Dwight Shrut, Dwight Gruden. Dwight Eisenhower. Yeah, and then Dwight from Empire. I don't watch that show. Oh, man. What do you mean, Empire?

Is that billions? Hell, wait. Oh, OK. It's the Empire. Wow, I told myself there. Yeah, exactly. My bad. I watch Empire.

It's pretty good. You lying. Did you guys see Black Panther? I like that too. You ain't even see it. This interview is over. I saw it, it was good. I know, I got one last point.

What do y'all name this van? This is Stan Van Gundy. You're lying. Or Nick Van Exel. Yeah, it's got to have the word van in there. Yo, you really look. Do you need bus? Yes.

You look like Jon Snow too. Hey, you look like. No, I'll take those two. Last one, last one. I don't want to hear the last one. Get them, get them, Dwight. What's the movie where the guys like this one? Night at Bernie's.

Week in at Bernie's. Week in at Bernie's. I was like, that guy? No, you look. Night at the Roxbury. You meet, you meet. You really look like Jon Snow right now. At least you can say Kid Rock.

Most people say Kid Rock. I can see that too. Post Malone before he got famous. I can see that too. Yeah. You look like. Prem Malone. Dwight Howard.

Dwight. Dwight Howard. Dwight Howard. Can we have some money? Yeah. Yeah, as a what? You have like 250 million dollars. Is that not cool of me to ask you for money?

Just a little bit. How much money? Get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it. Oh, yeah. You look really nice. You are a bad teammate. You get manicures? Come on.

Get us some money. Yeah, get manicures. We're a team now. What? If you want to be a good teammate, give us some money. Man, y'all better work. You're on our team. Yeah, we work for anything.

We're a good team. All right, let's role play because people are like, oh, Dwight Howard, not a good teammate. We're your team. Hey Dwight, we have some money? I'm going to pass you the ball. Hell no, ask the coach. Where's the media?

Dwight Howard's a bad teammate. Y'all better ask y'all. Hold up. Wait, you're going to tell the coach on us? Hell no, I ain't going to tell you. Lock little problems. I ain't going to say nothing. I'm going to just tell y'all to go work.

Breaking news, Dwight Howard won't share the wealth with his new best friends. Y'all are my teammates. Dwight Howard would rather give his money to his snakes than to his best friends and back to the van. I would too, I know they ain't going to spend it. How big is curious George actually going to get? He might get like 25 feet.

Jesus Christ, man. That's weird, man. I got an anaconda too. That's weird. That's a real anaconda, like a real. That's weird. How big? See a baby right now, but is she going to be like 25?

Her name is She-Hulk. She-Hulk? Yeah. OK, what are their names? Give us a rattle off the last snake heads. Cleopatra, I got Blade, I got. Cleopatra's a good name for snakes. I got Mickey and Minnie.

That's good. No, that's weird. George is still the best, so far. Mickey the snake, that's weird. The fact that you have snakes and don't have names is the scariest thing in the world. You just have snakes. It's like snake one, snake two, snake three.

Oh wait, where'd snake four go? Snakes don't know their name. They can't even hear. You never trust them guys. At what point do you think like I should give this snake a name? He's earned a name. Whenever, when I first get it, I'd be like, OK, that looked like George.

But then once I'm going to have 40 snakes, so I'm not going to name all 40 of the snakes. You have too many snakes. How much money do you spend on snake food? Not a lot. Really? So they're starving? You're starving to snakes?

No, they only eat once a week. It's not like they eat like dogs. You got to see them every day. You can't trust a snake, are you? Why not? Because the snakes, anyone who has animals that can just like all of a sudden just snake loose and kill you. Oh yeah, they can.

Yeah, they got personalities. What are the different personalities? All right, so I got one snake. One's bad, the other's angry. No, I got one that's real. They're all mean. There's snakes. No, just him.

Any time anybody comes to the cage, he's like, he's like, stand up. He's like, what's up, bro? You know what I'm saying? I got another one. He's cool. I got a Burmese python. And you know, he's cool.

He'll hiss at you, let you know, like, what's up? That's not what he's doing. I promise you, when he opens the cage. Hissing at you is not like, hey, what's up, Dwight? You ain't got no snakes. Yeah, no, I never will. That's what I'm saying. You even have a snake.

The Bible tells you snakes are evil. That jewelry is pretty fucking cool. I'll give you that. I like snakes, man. That's a snake, cool. That's cool. That's cool. All right, that's cool.

All right, Dwight. I'm going to get off my snakes, too. Thank you very much for coming in the van. This has been fun. Appreciate it, man. I like this van. Yeah. Any time you're in New York, come by the studio.

Just look up Jon Snow and Pablo Escobar. Yeah, we got a real studio. Pablo, I know his family. Yeah, you do? His family. What, the guys who did Firefest? No. Oh, no, he said he knows Pablo's family.

Yeah. I thought he said it's family. I thought you were saying that we were like, I got excited for a second. Oh, who? Pablo. Pablo's family. No, your family.

My family. Oh, I am family. Yeah, he said it's family. There we go. It's family. Yeah, I was like, damn, you know fucking that's the same fucking thing. Fuck Hank.

No. Oh, man. Say teammate. Say teammate, brother. Wait a minute. Bubba, you're cool. Bubba, you're cool. Yeah, there you go.

Yeah. All right, thank you, Dwight. Appreciate it. It was a lot of fun. That was fun. All right. I'm going to let you go first. That interview with Dwight Howard was brought to you by Freefly.

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See budlight.com slash realenoughtogetaway for more details. Okay, let's get to some segments before we do that. We have to do our Mount Rushmore. And today's Mount Rushmore is brought to you by Kingsford Charcoal's The Taste of the Game, featuring 30 regional dishes inspired by the teams, cities and flavors of Major League Baseball.

Go check out Kingsford right now and use it for your grilling on July 4th. And they are our sponsor for today's Mount Rushmore. So thank you to Kingsford and make sure you grill on July 4th and all summer long using Kingsford. First of all, all right, let's do our Mount Rushmore. But we had the argument after, in the car,

would people like Dwight Howard after that? Or would they think, like I think that he just does his- Now you're poisoning the well again. Well, I mean, can I say, would you want me to say what I think or not? I could say what I think. I think Dwight Howard is very good at interviews and playing the ha ha ha,

I'm the funniest guy, Superman thing. And he then poisons teams in his bad teammate. Okay. He was interesting to talk to. Yeah, I thought he was a great actor. I don't think people are gonna be like, I walked away from being like, he was hilarious. Yeah.

Now he's a hilarious guy. But you guys like turned your whole, you're like, wait, Howard's awesome. No, no, I didn't say that I'd like signed Dwight Howard to a max contract for my team if I had a free agency. Like if I was looking at him, but I do think that people will come away from that interview liking him more than they did before.

I think they'll think- It was Joe Buck ask. We had a lot of people the same way when we had Joe Buck on me for like, I thought I hated him. Now I love him and I expect a lot of that. I think people will say that was classic. That was vintage Dwight to put on the laugh

and the whole thing that he does. Cause he does that with every interview. I don't think enough people know that. So that was our argument. That do people know like Dwight Howard has this gear. It's a Stan Van Gundy gear when he came in like, ha, ha, ha Stan, love you man. Like you saying this now is probably like new

for a lot of people. I don't think so. Okay. I guess that will be our embrace debate. Either way, it was a good interview. I just don't think I walked away being like, okay, that he's good at what he does when it comes to doing the voices and stuff. I thought he was good.

I thought it was a good interview. That was great. Also he's in the best shape of his life. So the Wizards are the East is really back now. That's true. Okay. Let's do it. So we're going to do our Mount Rushmore. This was a listener through this out there.

If you have Mount Rushmore, do you want to hear? Please, we're open for suggestions. Who was it that actually, who sent it to us? PFT shout out Harris Silverstein. He said, let's do a Mount Rushmore of pick up basketball guys. So we're going to do the Mount Rushmore, pick up basketball guys. Am I first?

Yes. I'm first. So then PFT second, then your third, Hank. Yeah. Is that correct? You okay, Hank? You said, uh-oh. My computer is dying. I realized that my notes were on my phone. Oh no. I got him though.

I got him. Freestyle it? I might have to. Okay. This is like black thought. Pick up basketball guys. Here we go. My number one pick. I'm going with the old veteran.

This guy probably played, he's probably all state in like 1968. He does great on defense. He always knows where he needs to be. He's good at passing. He always moves without the ball. And then he will make one or two shots off the backboard, whether it be a hook shot or like a fadeaway backboard shot

that you'd be like, how the fuck did that guy do it? Not athletic whatsoever. Old guy, wildly veteran. He's great to play. He's great to have on your team. Always knows where to be. Yep. He really is wearing like champion gym shorts.

Yeah. Knee braces. He's got that, he's just got that old guy feel to him. Nice bounce pass. Again, he'll move like he will, there will be a moment where he'll be moving so well without the ball that you'll run into him. He'd be like, you got to go over there. Set maybe like a back pick for you without the ball.

Yeah. Off screen, off screen pick, off ball picks. The wildly veteran old guy. Yeah. Is great to have on your team. He'll call plays from like lefty Drizzle. He's great. He's great.

My first one is going to be kind of the opposite of the guy that you just said. The really good dribbler who can't shoot. So the guy that's like breaking ankles, dribbling between his legs frequently when he absolutely doesn't need to. I'll handle no shot. Yeah. Walk it up the court,

just going like behind his back doing all sorts of it. He does the actual like figure eight ball drill in the middle of a live play, but he can't make a single shot. And his shot isn't bad looking. It just doesn't go in. It never goes in. It's like actually a good looking shot,

but it just always hits back iron. Yep. All right, Hank. My number one, I will go with the back down back sweat guy. This guy is usually he's also a big boy. He's just absolutely loaded up with sweat, completely like shoulder to ass crack, fully drenched in sweat and then he'll get the ball

and he'll just back you down. So it's like you don't even want to guard him because you don't want to touch him because he's disgusting. And then I'll go with the three point line, the three point line hero. Yeah. He's awesome.

Some say this is me when I'm a little out of shape, but it's like, you know, you don't want to, you don't want to commit to defense, to confidence in your jumper. You know that if you just hang around the three point line, you'll get a couple of passes. It's great when you have that guy who actually can make the threes,

because you say to yourself, okay, that's fine. You don't have to do anything else. Just make these threes. It's really bad when you have that guy and he sucks at shooting threes. What are you trying to say? Not saying you. Not saying you.

Per se. I mean, sometimes you suck at shooting threes. When you hit the back of the, when you hit like the top of the backboard, that's when I know you're not on it. Fair. Yeah. I mean, you know. And then you get hot.

And then you get hot. Okay. PFT. Okay. My next one, I'm going to go with the calls too many fouls guy. He's very overactive on the whistle. And you know what he'll do is he'll call a shit little late fouls too. Even after you've warned him a few times.

And what I found about the calls too many fouls guy, he's usually the guy that will commit at least one or two fouls just out of sheer rage and frustration. Yes. So he calls him because he hates him. He just like hates himself. Yeah. He'll call too many fouls.

He also does, he'll call like an out of bounds. He'll say, oh, you stepped out of bounds 40 feet from the play. He'll be on the other side of the court and just be like, yeah, no, that was out of bounds ball up. Calls ups and downs on a pump fake. Yeah. No, the call too many foul guy.

You can't call, unless it's egregious, you can't call fouls and pick up ask. It's the worst. All right. I have, I'm going to go with the next guy. I'm going to go with the floor talker. So there's always one floor talker when you're out there.

It's usually a, he'll either say like one stop, swing it, he'll call out every pick as loud as possible. I have a little floor talker to me because a way to make people think you're playing defense is to just call out every pick as loud as possible and be like, well, we're talking well. Like we're doing good, help defense, help, help, help, step up, slow it down.

That's usually me as well. When I say slow it down, that's, I just need to catch my breath. Someone get ball. Yes. But the guy who's always talking on the floor and you know, at the end of games, hey, one stop, let's move it. Hey, come on, you know, just pumping everyone up

and making sure everyone's talking. No one else is talking. It's just the floor talker. And so the floor talker is a big one. Then my third pick, I'm going to go with accessories guy. So accessories guy has a shooting sleeve. He's got a mouth guard. He's got the knee braces.

He usually has whatever the newest shoe is. So he's got like the Kyrie fives and he lets everyone know. It's every single time he comes out, he's got the freshest new shoes. You're like, okay dude, like we're, no one's getting above three inches here. We're not playing above the rim.

You don't need like bounce in these shoes. I also like the knee pad guy. Yeah. He's a knee pad guy, sweat, sweat, sweat band guy, arm band guy, everything. Copper sleeve. When he puts it all together. The fight necklace. Yeah. The accessory guy,

if you have a good attitude accessory guy, he's actually fun to play with. It can go south quickly. If accessory guy thinks he's actually out there with the Allen Iverson shooting sleeve, it's a problem. Oh, and also the leggings too. The leggings for accessory guy,

when it's like, hey man, no one's moving fast enough to tear a hammy here. I don't know why you're wearing full leggings. Yep. That's a good one. I like, I like accessories guy. My next one is going to be the guy that is on the court. He's waiting for the next game, right? So he's got next and he's taken shots

while the ball is at the other end of the court, but he stays on that and taking shots way too late and messes up the play. Oh yeah. So he's like bricking shots. The ball is like bouncing into people that are just trying to bring it off the court. Yep.

He doesn't know that your job is just, maybe go out there and do a layup. Yep. Maybe just a bank shot. That's it. But he's out there winging it, taking shots. Gets in everyone's way. Ruining the game that's currently going on,

waiting for his. Yes. Yeah. That guy sucks. I will go with the, like it's kind of what PFT was saying, but let's call him the hockey player slash crossfit guy. Yeah. That's an amazing shape. They can get up and down the court quickly.

They'll play defense the whole time, but they can't shoot pass or really dribble. It's the football player who's playing basketball, who never learned how to play. I do like hockey players are the ones where it's like they're in great shape and they can like move up and down, and especially laterally like defensively,

like they'll get all up in your face. Beast on the board. Beast on the boards. Yeah. First man back on defense. No touch. To give him an open shot. Can almost dunk.

They'll do the like, they'll just throw it off the backboard, not even hit the rim. That was my fourth one. Yeah, they can almost dunk. All those guys can almost dunk, but they can't like they'll have one possession. You'll see him out there

where he'll get his own rebound and miss the layup like three times in a row in one possession. The former college basketball or the former college football player that is now playing pick up basketball all the time. That guy is the worst to play against because he's physical as shit.

He'll elbow you. Sometimes he can dunk so he can actually embarrass you. Yes. If he wants to, he's got a terrible shot. He doesn't know how to pass, doesn't like to pass. He just knows that you're not going to back him down

on defense and he's got two very sharp pairs of elbows. Yeah. And then my last one, I will go with a, let's call it the heat check guy, but not like he's not a, he's not a great player necessarily, but if he scores two baskets in a row,

you know he's gonna shoot no matter what. Oh yeah. No matter what. Yes. Like he scores once and he's like, okay, heat check time, like give me the ball. Let's go, let's do it.

Let's do it. I like that pick. Okay. PFT. My last guy, this is the gym version of Matthew Delvedovo, the charge taker. The charge taker,

he's also the full court presser. I don't think that exists in pickup basketball. It does sometimes. Okay. The try hard. Yeah. You get, you get, you get yelled at if you do that.

You get to try hard. It's the, the charge taker, he'll only try it once because he gets yelled at. There's like a natural selection out there that if you do try to take a charge and pick up basketball, everybody on the court will be like,

no dude, shut the fuck up. But he'll try to do it once. He'll try to full court press you and he's big on doing, you remember like an NBA jam when you bring down the rebound and you do that like elbow thing

that never really happens in sports. He is a big elbow user after he brings down a board. Okay. All right. My last one is going to be the guy who's just, and I will put my hand up. I probably am guilty of this at times when I really slow down in a matter of breath.

The guy who is just a little bit too physical for a pickup basketball game. So you'll see it in elbows down low. You'll see it in, he'll set a screen, like a blind side screen at half court and just demolish someone. Maybe a little bit,

a little extra extra mustard on a rebound. Maybe a little light tap in the back. The two physical guy who's like, he fouls, but you just can't, it's not like such a blatant foul and it's usually off the ball that you just, you just know,

if you're going to run through the lane, this guy's going to give you some business. He's going to throw an elbow at you. He's going to make you feel it. The just too physical guy. Got it. My honorable mention was going to go to the guy that tries to do things that are just like

a little bit outside of his skill set. Like tries to toss a ball against the backboard and catch it in the air to make a layup. It's like a self pass type of thing. That sort of thing. The guy that's like, he thinks he's a little bit better than he really is. My honorable mention,

I had the push it guy, the guy who thinks he's playing for the seven seconds or less sons, where he's just, the key to everything is let's push it. Let's push it. Man, we can't push it. First of all, the gym we're playing in

is a middle school gym. And second of all, none of us can run, but he wants to get out and run. What about the guy that brings way too many intricate, like refueling and hydration things? Yeah, well. So he's got like two different flavors of Gatorade.

He mixes them with some water, dilutes the Gatorade a little bit, puts that in his third bottle, and then has like a bison bar. I play with a guy outdoors who mixes Pepsi and Gatorade. That's insane. He says he wants a little bit of caffeine, a little hydration.

I like that. I also, I am the guy, the warm up guy, who is what I've become, where I bring, I have like my heating pad, my, the roll,

the foam roller. I have to be there like, I'm usually there with another guy who's like 50 years old, and where they're 45 minutes early, warming up to play three games of basketball. What about the guy who's way too picky about which ball you use? Yeah.

He demands, he demands to like check every single one out. Not this one. Pumps it, tries to see how soft it is. This guy's, No, not this one. This guy's dead, but he was,

he's a relic of the past. The guy who says we're going shirts and skins. I feel like shirts and skins don't happen anymore. That used to be a guaranteed like, fuck, I'm going to have to go skins here. This sucks. I also wrote down, oh, the check it up guy.

So that's another trick that I also use when I'm getting a little tired, just always checking it up and like, or there'll be maybe the game will like stop for a second and everyone will not know what's going on. Like, all right, well, we'll check it up. We'll check it up. Check ball.

Like check ball, check ball, do the score, check ball, just slow it down so we can basically, everyone catch their breath. Any others Hank that you missed, or that you had on there? No. Okay. And zone defense guy.

I mean, I'm also zone defense guy. That's like, That's a joke, but I also- After 30 minutes. Yeah. If someone said, I always throw it out as a joke, but I mean,

if someone said, I always actually run a box and wanted to be like, great, let's do it. I'll get one of the wing positions. I'm good. Okay. Should we do some segments

and we'll wrap up the show? Let's see, you had a drunk idea of PFT. I did. Yeah, I have a really good drunk idea. You ready for this one? Yes. It's shorts that have an iPhone charger built into the pocket.

Okay. So you put your iPhone- And you wash them. Listen, Hank. That was quick, Hank. You don't have to- You didn't even let them get to the second part of the vision.

That's for the scientists, the mathematicians will figure this out. Talk about not fucking with the vision. Jesus Christ. So it's got a charger- It's a vision. It's trying to help people. It's got a charger inside the pocket.

You're ruining my dream before it's even like a fetus. If a simple question ruins your dream, then- You can't do this in Alabama, Hank. You gotta check your dream. Our Georgia. This is kind of like when you said we should have a, what is it, ice cream that's slightly melted? Yeah.

Frozen yogurt? That's different than frozen yogurt. Okay, keep going. But no, I'm here. I got your- I mean, that's basically it. It's just pants that instead, like in the pocket, it's got a little charging plug.

They're like right in the bottom. So what is, how's that different than a Mophie? You plug- He'll kill his dreams, big cat. I'm asking- No, I'm asking questions. It's not different from a Mophie, but you don't have to worry about charging your Mophie.

So how does the pants get charged? You plug your pants into the wall. So how's that different than a Mophie? Because the entire, because it's a Mophie that you can wear. So you just, your phone, you ran out of juice this weekend. I was teetering. Which you are want to do. I was teetering on the edge.

And so I was like, man, I really wish that I could just put my phone in my pocket, it would charge up. Okay. I mean- Tell me that's not a good, if you had pants that would charge an iPhone. The problem is- You'd wear them.

I would probably just charge my iPhone with a Mophie. But- Not if the Mophie was your pants. Because then I can wear different pants. I don't have to just wear my charging pants. Why, you're being stylish like, oh, I- No, I mean, I feel like wearing these pants tonight. Well, I mean, you, so I guess-

How expensive would these pants be? $79.99. But then you have to buy every single pair of these. So every single, if you become used to charging your pants, or charging your phone with your pants, you have to buy only phone charging pants. Well, you can collect all, or, how about this? Or it's just a belt.

It's a belt that has a plug that can run through the pocket. I just think it's a- That is a much better. Yeah, the belt, the belt works. Cause then you can wear it with different things. Yeah, and it's perfect for dads too, that have the, like the clip, the cell phone holster on the belt.

Like you change your pants. I mean, not everyone changes their pants. Not everyone really changes their pants. All right, well, I was very fancy. No, I actually don't, I said that, but I very much don't change my pants, ever. I mean, if you had charging pants, you'd probably just wear the charging pants.

Oh, and also Hank, to answer your question, they'd be self-cleaning, okay? Oh, okay. Any other brain busters? Slash, you don't have to clean them, cause we're guys. Yeah. Okay. We have a way to stay relevant baseball.

Baseball went to London, and they juiced the baseballs, and basically created football for baseball. They built a Wiffleball stadium in London. It was so fucking awesome. It was 388. It was the wind, the way the wind, Oh, that was the wind. Oh, really?

Yeah. It's crazy. It was like, I saw pictures were actually trying to say that. They said it was because of like the, the way the structure of the stadium was built, that it created wind tunnels. Not, not the fact that it was 385 to center.

Well, no, the fucked up part was the way that they built the structure was the wind tunnels were only working when the Yankees were up to bat. Yeah. I, that was so much fun. If they do that, if they bring like baseball games to different countries, just keep doing exactly like that.

Saturday, hitting the over in the, with five outs, it took five outs to hit the over of 11 and a half, was awesome. And then Sunday, it looked like the under was gonna hit, and the Yankees just put up a nine spot out of nowhere. I made the dumb ass bet on Sunday, trying to chase those points from, that I missed the night before.

Yeah. I was like, I gotta take the over on Sunday. Oh, I live bet the over on Saturday, like five times. Yeah. Yeah, I did too. I actually got in at the very last minute and I lost my life. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Which fucking sucks. On Sunday, I was chasing those runs and it looked like it was fucked, but then it ended up coming back and hitting. This was a great way to introduce baseball to England, who's used to having like their cricket matches. That's their equivalent for rugby or for baseball.

Yes. And the cricket matches last about three days. Yep. And so having a sport like baseball, that's often criticized for being slow paced. Well, when you compare it to cricket, it's pretty fucking fast paced. It's like an electric toothbrush versus Sibian.

It is some like real heart pounding adrenaline shit if you're an English fan. Those games and they lasted forever, but you're right. It's still forever is still quicker than cricket. Yes. And it was just ridiculous. Why I would love to watch games where like the dimensions are so distorted that we keep having exactly this.

Just like runs, runs, runs. I also, they were talking about every place they've played and they were talking about how they play in Williamsport every year. For some reason, even though I know this isn't the case, I always just think that they're going to play on the little league field, which would be great.

That would be the best thing. And using aluminum bats. Yes. Just everyone dies. Holy shit. Imagine me in a picture. Hank, you didn't, you sounds like you didn't like the London series.

No, I didn't. I enjoyed watching too. As long as shit, obviously the Red South got smoked, but it was fun when you, it was like a, like a game in Colorado where it's just like a pop fly off the bat. That's gone. Right.

It's gotta be weird too for the Yankees to be playing over there because the term Yankee is like a derogatory term for somebody from the United States or over in England. Right. And then you had the weird, and I, whatever it is, whenever we bring our sports to London, you just have the weirdest fans pop up. The guy who was wearing the Red Sox and Yankees half shirt.

And I was hoping there were some Jaguars fans there. Yeah. I was hoping the weird cartoon Jaguar guy would show up. Yeah. So in England, they should actually call them the Y words. Not when they're over there, you know? Yes. The Jaguars.

No, no. The Yankees. Or the Yankees. The Jaguar singing of Jaguar. The Jaguar. Yeah. Who did Sean Connery? We're doing a Sean Connery voice of a Jaguar. What's that?

Oh, no. Oh, you're just taking Matthew McConaughey and Lincoln. I think it was SNL singing the Jaguar. I've been Jaguars since I was old enough to ejaculate. I have a Monday reading real quick. Go for it. Okay. Kyrie is disgusting in a good way.

Let's see. What else do I have? LeBron is way better than Kyrie, you idiot, with crying emojis than it's LeBron missing a layup. So I'm assuming the person was intentionally saying Kyrie's better than the person actually said Kyrie, greater sign, LeBron. Kyrie is ridiculous.

Kyrie looking like Larry Bird 30 years ago tonight. That's all from our friend, Hennyzy. Oh, interesting. That's our Monday reading. I mean, these are all facts. Welcome, welcome, Kemba. Kyrie is disgusting. He's disgusting.

Welcome to Hank, the biggest Brooklyn Nets fan in the world. They should actually let the Brooklyn Nets play a few games out in the Nassau Coliseum. They should let the Brooklyn Nets play at the Mecca. Yeah, they should. They should, yeah. They should cut them out of it. James Dolan, you can actually get some tickets.

God damn it, the Nets. The Nixir Clowns. Hank, though, congratulations, Kemba Walker. I actually, who doesn't like Kemba Walker? Is there a single person out there who's like, I don't like Kemba Walker? Michael Jordan? Well, yeah, I guess.

Well, he didn't like him at that price. Yeah. But yeah, I don't like him at that price either. But yeah, Kemba Walker, I think, is universally loved. So, all right, that's our show. We're gonna see everyone on Wednesday for a three hour best of with two new Mount Rushmores. Huge.

Three new interviews. Huge. Make of the year, preview. Football in July. Have a great 4th of July. We'll see you on Wednesday, and then we'll see you some day. Happy birthday, George Washington.

Yeah. We love you, buddy. Happy birthday, all the pirates out there. Love you guys. You'll get that joke later. Love you guys. I don't know what I'm to say I'd say that he'd wait. It's Pardon My Take, presented by Barstool Sports.