Pardon My Take - Eagles Michael Bennett + NPR Pardon My Woke Is Back

Episode Date: September 12, 2018

The Jets May have a quarterback and Stafford and the Lions are very sad (2:20 - 11:11). Gruden is back, for a half, and the Rams are a wagon (11:11 - 16:10). Pardon My Woke returns to do an in depth dive into the Browns/Steeers tie (16:10 - 20:53). Hot Seat/Cool Throne (20:53 - 36:53). Eagles lineman Michael Bennett joins the show to talk about his career in the NFL, the Seahawks Super Bowl Team, being a Schiano man, and if it's fair for Big Cat to not like his brother (36:53 - 69:59). Segments include Stay Woke, Sabermetrics, trouble in paradise for Paulina and Dustin Johnson and Guys on Chicks.  You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have Eagles, lineman, Michael Bennett, he was formerly of the Seahawks, Super Bowl champion, really fun conversation, he came in studio, so you know it's good. And the Buccaneers, he was a Shiano Man. And the Bucs, and the Bucs, we talked about the Shiano Man days of his, and we also have

HotSea Cool Throne, guys on chicks, and a very special NPR, because we got to stay up with the times. Before we get to all of that, it's official, we are now fantasy guys, more importantly, not only are we fantasy guys, we are fan duel guys. PFT and I have something special for all the AWLs on fan duel this season, we're going to be running a season long 16 week contest with them, so we're doing it every single week, you'll be able to enter every week and PFT and I will be playing against you guys. There'll be a season long leaderboard and winner at the end of the season will win

a trip to the Barstool Super Bowl party in Atlanta. Not only that, but places 2 through 50 will win an autographed PMT car stick made famous by Hank, and we're going to be giving out cool weekly prizes too from my pile, so like you get hats, you get shirts, you get weird stuff all from the pile, and if you do it and you come to the Barstool Super Bowl party, you get to sleep in PFT's bed too. So just sign up at FanDuel, just sign up at FanDuel.com to play with us, we're FanDuel guys because FanDuel is different this season, you don't need to be a fantasy expert to win there and FanDuel has never been more fun or easier to play, FanDuel's got more ways

to play for guys like us, this season they are running a weekly gridiron pick em contest, players will choose winning teams for all of the Sunday games, no spreads and 10k will be split amongst all of the top pickers every week, we're going to be playing on FanDuel all season and we need every AWL to come play with us, if you don't give FanDuel a shot you're pretty much saying you don't want to hang out or sleep in PFT's bed at the Super Bowl, plus new users get a $20 bonus when they make their first deposit on FanDuel, come play with us at FanDuel.com slash PMT, that is FanDuel.com slash PMT. Let's go!

Welcome to part of my take presented by Seeky, today is Wednesday, September 12th and PFT I have a question for you, do the Jets have a quarterback? They got a quarterback. Do the Jets have a quarterback? Do the Jets have a quarterback? I have a question for you. Does Matt Stafford suck? Yes.

His stats will always, Matt Stafford, he'll throw for 345 yards and 4 intercepts. I was getting some trash on the internet on Monday night when we were watching, by the way, the two games, just do it every 10 every week, we just need the two games, I know we have to stay up really late but I'm already adjusted from watching Hawaii and following on Twitter at 3am, so give me the two games, Matt Stafford is going to go down as the best worst quarterback of all time because his numbers, he doesn't get injured, he got banged up but he's played, I think he was next to Phillip Rivers and maybe Eli for most starts, he's played 10 years, he's only 30, he came into the NFL at the perfect time when all

the passing started exploding, he's got probably another 10 years, if he can play on one or two winning teams, his statistics, I think he actually has the most passing yards for the first 10 years of anyone's career, his statistics will be so insane that he will be like a legitimate Hall of Fame candidate and everyone who watched him will be like that guy sucked. Nobody, yeah, nobody will remember, like it's like, and then 30 years from then everyone's going to be like Matt Stafford, one of the all time greats, holy shit he had this many yards, to be fair he was, he's definitely the best quarterback in the history of the

Detroit Lions, well, Dan Orlofsky was pretty good, but Matt Stafford's second best behind Dan, also John Kittner, Kittner Kaboodle, yeah that was a good one, but yeah he is the best worst quarterback of all time, and the thing about him, except for one or two years, he's played on some remarkably bad defenses too. So every single game he's thrown in the fourth quarter, thrown in the third quarter, they're not protecting a lead usually, he has Megatron, which you know, that's a weird thing, with all the touchdowns they took away from Calvin Johnson, his stats should actually be better than they are.

And he was in the game when they're down 30 in the fourth quarter, like they put in Matt Castle towards the end, but he is, that's Cudderball, his stats, all he has to do is get on one good team and go to like an NFC championship, and he will have better statistics than basically every quarterback except like the top five. Hey listen, football is not rocket science, right? It's not, wait, it's not rocket science. Yeah. It is communism.

It is communism. As Cheryl said. Matt Patricia, I'm not sure if I'm ready to call it yet, but he looks like the latest, he looks like Romeo Cronell, part seven. Okay, so Matt Patricia, you can't wear a backwards hat and lose. It didn't Jeff Fisher. You just can't do it. You look like an idiot when you wear a backwards hat and lose.

If you win, you can wear whatever you want. When you lose, and you lose like that, and poor Lions fans, like I feel so bad for Lions fans, even though they're a division rival of mine, like, and they own the Bears recently, it's something about Detroit, and when they flash to the crowd, it's because a lot of them are wearing, you know, lion mains, Detroit Don and Superfan, by the way, shout out them, my guys Hank. It's still kind of crazy that we went to a game with them and didn't tell them we were going to a game with them.

We just knew where their seats were, and we bought the two next to them, and we're just like, hey, we're here to watch a game and film you. The crowd there, it looks like, you remember that scene in Ace Ventura 2, where he walks into the room with all the heads on the walls, he's like, this is a lovely room of death. That's what the crowd looks like, and they're all wearing some sort of animal headdress. Here's the thing, they're tricking us, too, because the Lions, they're slowly turning more blue over the years. I love how they're blue, it's just like slightly darker shades of blue every single week.

But it's sad to watch the Lions fans, I'm not sad for the Lions themselves, I'm sad for the Lions fans like Detroit Don and Superfan, who, this is their entire life, and every year it's the same thing. I did like what was that guy's name, General Disappointment? No, General Nuisance. General Nuisance, he had the vertical sole patch, that's a good look. He looks like he should be in the Black Crows or something with that thing. The fans, I think that they're good fans, but sometimes it's tough to tell the difference

between a good sports town filled with good fans and just fans that are there and lose a lot. Yeah, I think Detroit has good fans, I really do. I mean, I think the Lions fans, they've got the shit kicked out of them, they've won one playoff game in what, like 57 years or something, ridiculous stat, that's unprecedented, and the Browns have kind of stole their shine. Yeah, that's true. You know?

They don't get the all-time loser tag, but they really are. Big-time swagger jacked them. They lost, cucked them. So we should go back to Sam Donald real quick, because Jets fans have reason to be excited, and I know we overreact to everything, but that first pass could not have been worse, and then everything else was like, this guy is pretty damn good. So I'm trusting myself, I'm giving myself credit for the take that I had right after the Rose Bowl, like three years ago, when he had that one breakout performance against

Penn State. And I was like, that guy's going to be a top tier pro. And then over the last couple of years, he kind of did. He already was like, everyone, every draft board was like top 10. But at that point, I was like, suck for Sam. You should tank next year. So you read Todd McShay's draft board. I don't, listen, I make my own draft board, I've got a big white board in my living room,

it's dry erase. And I adjusted accordingly based on who I'm most drunk when I see and I think is good. Based off my beer goggles. And Sam, he did like some things to take some shine off him over the last couple of years. But now I'm like, I got to trust my eyes. His biggest thing to take the shine off him was his offensive line to USC was atrocious. Well, that's true. So that wasn't really his fault.

He is more mobile than I thought he was. Well, he's young. Youngest quarterback to start an NFL game in like 50 years. That's a nice stat. His artwork looked really nice. Rex Brown is probably very happy watching him play for the Jets. He just, yeah, he's like very cool, calm and collected. He's so Cali.

He's so Cali it hurts. He's so Cali. He's like, I guess this is a pretty chill game. It's crazy when there's certain franchises around the NFL where it's like, if they get a quarterback, what's going on? This isn't normal. This shouldn't happen. Like there's, you know, so I'm, I'm excited for Jets fans.

I feel like this is a long time coming and I'm sure Sam Donald will be a Hall of Famer. This is their first defensive touchdown in like seven years. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It was, yeah, it was five years in New Jack City. Beth Bowen saying New Jack City over and over was, uh, was pretty funny. New Jack City is going to be a thing, trust me.

It's going to develop into the, Jamal Adams is awesome. Yes. He is the shit. Um, it's, it actually reminded me a lot of RG three's first game when he came into the league. If you like a historically shitty franchise with a bunch of just a big pile of crap for history at quarterbacks and then you have one good game and now the whole fan base is like, okay.

So we're penciling them for 15 years, at least three Super Bowls. The Mark Sanchez headlines will come back up and be like, oh, you did the same thing for him. But this is different. They do have a good, they've got a really USC quarterback. Yeah. They've got a really good defense and they've got, I think probably a top 10 head coach. I think Todd Bowles is an awesome head coach and I've thought that for a couple of years

because They did play for him last year. Yeah. Exactly. Everybody thought they were going to go 0-16, 1-15 and, uh, I'm just, you know, I want to be sensitive to, uh, the hurricane that is bearing down on South North Carolina. I hope everybody stays very safe, but there's a bigger storm that's about to hit New York and that's all of Mike Greenberg's come.

Ooh. Just going to drink. Just drenching the city. The whole city is going to be a soggy, sticky mess. He's doing the peacock on the get up. It's going to, it's going to look like a blizzard of, uh, of vanilla frosties. That's enough. That's enough.

Just got dumped all over Manhattan. That's enough. He's so excited and I'm so glad for him. It's good to see Mike Greenberg win something for once and have some success. Mike Greenberg for sure can't come anymore. He got, he definitely got a vasectomy and was like, tie it all the way up there. No, his wife was just like, cut it off. Yeah.

That's what a vasectomy is, honey. He's like, are you sure? I neutered. I thought it's, they tie the vas deferent. Um, all right. The other game, Jucky is back, uh, and the Raiders are a hot mess. Derek Carr Ssss.

Sucks. Mm-hmm. And the Rams are as good as advertised because watching that game, like they weren't good in the first half on offense and then they started getting it going. And then in the fourth quarter, it's like, oh yeah. And they have the best running back in the NFL and he's just going to run over people. I think what it taught us more than everything is, uh, that Sean McFay is just a much better head coach than John Gruden.

Yeah. Like the way that he adjusted is undefeated. The first half was like classic Gruden football. He's like, we're just going to out physically, man. And that works for a half. Yes. When you have Jared Cook, who like, I've never seen a guy get downhill faster on every single catch.

Twice as big as everyone. Just running people over, looking for contact. And Marshawn doing beast mode. Marshawn running everybody over. Yeah. Uh, you can come out there and be more physical and have that edge, uh, for one half. Yes. And then at halftime when the adjustments get, get made, uh, McFay obviously knows what he's

doing. Gruners like, man, we're, if it ain't broke, don't fix it, man. Yeah. Gruners is like, Hey, just block harder guys. Yeah. We got this. Halftime adjustment, less penalties, block harder. Even more balls for me, man.

Yeah. And they did do less penalties. Give me your ball. Well, it's tough not to because they have like 150 yards of penalties in the first half. The Raiders are back. But, but to your point, I do think that Derek Carr sucks. Yes. Um, and it's, it's, it's partially like,

He's a car after all. Yes. He is a car. Um, did we forget about his brother? Are we still doing the like, is Derek Carr injured thing? Yeah. Because he's, he's looked spooked. My theory on Derek Carr is he came out, he had a decent rookie season for a rookie.

And then he just kind of plateaued at the level, everyone was like, Oh, he was okay as a rookie. That surely means he'll continue to improve and he just stopped improving. And a verbal meme, it's a verbal tweet. Okay. Milk carton. Amar Cooper's face. Have you seen this?

Have you seen it? You like that? You like that? Cause we, I haven't seen him in a year and a half. Verbal meme is Derek Carr wearing eyeliner, Mr. Krabs. And John Gruden at the end had a very unfortunate quote that is, uh, John Gruden, I don't think he understands that like the media exists now because I think he, he still thinks back when he was a coach, you know, you'd talk to your media, they wrote a little blurb

in the paper and then it was done. Now a quote gets out there pretty fast and it spreads like wildfire. And John Gruden said, obviously we didn't get to golf enough and we didn't get to girly enough. We'll take a good look at the reasons why we didn't, so you're just going to watch the bears first half against the Packers. Do you think there's a reason why they didn't have a good pass rush? I mean, that's, that's an all time lack of self-awareness quote right there.

He did try to spin it before the game too and saying that Khalil Mack didn't want to be there. Yeah. Which I guess, yeah, he didn't want to be there for what he was getting paid at the time. Yeah. He didn't want to be at practice. Yes.

But he was going to show up and play during the regular season was my understanding. And Mark. He wasn't going to do a levy on bell. Yeah. Mark Davis was just in his box talking to himself all night. So, but he's got Gruden. So I feel like Mark Davis, the wins and losses don't matter for the Raiders anymore as long as Mark Davis can hang out with John Gruden for 15 minutes a week.

And you know what? If the Raiders go out there and they get like 300 yards of penalties every week and get into fights with the other team, I think Mark Davis would be happy with that. Yeah. Raiders are back. This is Raiders football. This is what my dad started. Absolutely.

Let's do it. Absolutely. So we're going to have our week two preview on Friday. We now though have to get to very important business. So as you know, the podcast game is a cutthroat game. There are people trying to come at us, you know, we're coming at them, we're come, we come everywhere. Mike Greenberg just came.

Yeah. Don't do that again. No, he did. He came with it again. I'm interested. He did. Yeah. He does have a new podcast.

He came. Everyone's got a podcast. So to stay on the top, we need to borrow from the best in the biz. If you look at the most recent national pod track rankings, it's like they ranked the top 20 overall. And we are 15 and the first 14 are basically Joe Rogan and every single show that NPR puts out. Yeah.

There's like this American life. Yeah. There's cereal which is up there. Planet money. What all these hidden brain. Yeah. Just like how to fix it. Well, there's a podcast, I think that just how to fix it.

And they just talk about fixing things in that today we're going to figure out how to fix a wrench. Is a wrench used to fix things? You go to the store and I like to, in order to fix my wrench, I purchase a new one at Home Depot. It's a podcast. And it's probably ahead of us. Very hopeful young men working there in the aisles and they'll tell you which aisle contains

the wrench that's right for your project. So with that said, we have cereal is just, there's a new cereal out, don't subscribe to it. Pretend I didn't say that. Don't you fucking dare subscribe. Pretend you're subscribing to cereal by subscribing to us again. We'll tell you what happens on cereal. So you know what we should do?

We should just spoil cereal every day. Yes. Like every day they put out a new one. We'll tell you exactly what happened. We'd have to listen to it. We'd undercut it. Bubba, it's going to listen to it and tell us. So we, the new cereal is out and it's based in Cleveland.

So we are going to release our own NPR investigation in Cleveland. This is, what do we call it? Part of my woke? Yes. Part of my woke. You have a phone call from an inmate at the Algani County Correctional Facility. Hey, how are you doing? My name's Dan Anzanski.

I had a question about my stillers. The hell is a tie? This is cereal, season three, where we investigate a Cleveland mystery. Why does the NFL have ties? To begin our story, we have to start 10 years ago. Where contrary to popular belief, football ties were not invented by Rob Ford or Meryl Hodge, but instead Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNag. Well, I've never been a part of a tie.

Never even knew that that was in the rule book. But again, you know, it's part of the rules and we have to go with it. You know, I was looking forward to the next opportunity of getting out there and trying to drive to win the game, but unfortunately, with the rules, you know, we settle with a tie. It was at that moment, football ties entered the American lexicon. In many other countries, ties are embraced. In fact, a tie in soccer is the best result a team can accomplish.

This cultural difference was best illustrated by the Steelers Spanish broadcaster Arturo Carlos at the end of the game. Yet in America, ties are still a confusing and borderline unbelievable part of the game. We spoke to fans after Sunday's game who echoed this sentiment. The confusion wasn't just limited to fans, but local businesses as well. Fans were dumbfounded. How could this happen? They're used to not winning, but not like this.

Ties are like kissing your sister. Brown's fans will eat horse poop, but they draw the line it insists. Some Cleveland fans had theories. Maybe they read the snap count by watching Bob Wiley's stomach on the sidelines. I don't know, it sucks. Not winning, but I guess we have a one game not losing streak. Whatever. And on the other side of the rivalry, Pittsburgh fans showed their displeasure by reminding

the players that ties are not only unacceptable, but a breach in the fan player's social contract. Winning which fans make the players what they are, not the other way around. To better understand how this could possibly happen, we checked in with NFL rules expert Mike Pereira. If the game ends in regulation, then both teams will play a 15 minute overtime period. If that period is completed with neither team scoring, then the NFL bylaws dictate that the game ends in a tie. So what does a tie mean?

Is it good or bad? No one knows for sure why in some sports the tie column goes at the end, and some places it's in the middle. But sports? Why are there ties? This is stupid. I don't understand. We leave you with Coach Hugh Jackson, the architect of this now famous tie.

Was he happy? Is a tie worth celebrating? Only Coach Jackson can make sense of this madness. Actually a tie, you know? A tie. Hugh, a tie is so unusual, do you think it's any kind of consolation prize? Yes. Next week on cereal, we try to get to the bottom of an unsolvable riddle.

How come the Raiders don't have a good pass rush? You gotta know one thing man, this is the last shot right here, you know what I'm saying? And you're either going to explode onto the scene, or you're just going to be like a one of them deals, you know what I'm saying? Hope you guys learned something. Yeah, hope you subscribe, double subscribe, because now we do both. We teach you. Yeah, two podcasts in one.

Yeah, exactly. We teach you, and we make you laugh hopefully. And we talk about my Greenberg scum, which I can't get out of my head now that you've done that. It's pretty good, right? It's derailing my entire show. He's just, he's nutting everywhere man. Stop, stop.

They don't call it get up for nothing, you know what I'm saying? Let's do our hot seat cool throne before we do that, the Cash App. You know Cash App, it's the simplest way to instantly send money to friends. It's also the number one app in finance, and now it's the number one app for paying fantasy football league fees. The Cash App is the official award-winning listeners fantasy football fee app. So tweet your cash tag and how much you owe to your league at part of my take, and we'll hook you guys up with some free money.

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One stop shop for all your finance needs. Download the Cash App for free on the App Store or Google Play Market. Do it right now. The Cash App, pay and like we said tweet us your, how much you owe in your fantasy football league at part of my take, and we might hook someone up. We might hook someone up so they don't have to be that scumbag who doesn't pay. So again, download the Cash App for free on the App Store or Google Play Market. You will not be disappointed.

Okay, hot seat, cool throne. Hank, why don't you go ahead, Hank? Hank, why don't you go ahead? You do go ahead. Go ahead, Hank. On my hot seat, I got a couple. Your first one is... Oh, wow, so it's hot seats.

Blink 182. Ooh, okay. Band you might have heard of, the pop punk genre. They actually had a tour and they canceled it. Oh. They were supposed to be performing next week in Boston, same day as pop punk. Wait, is that real? Wait, we're going to go head to head with them.

And they canceled? Oh, there's only one. There could only be one Highlander. So open invite to Mark Hoppus if you want to play that day. I know you're not doing anything. It's like on that office dinner party where he knew that Jim didn't have any plans for that night. Mark, I know you're free.

Come on stage, play damn it with us. Pop punk, House of Blues, September 20th, Boston. Tickets still available. Tickets still available. My other hot seat is Jason Garrett. So that's just a real, just an actual hot seat. I see, I don't know. I feel like eventually if you survive a hot seat, it's a Marvin Lewis law.

If you survive enough hot seats, it's almost like we've said this before. Jerry Jones has forgot that he has to fire Jason Garrett. It's like he has a Google, he has a Gmail calendar alert that just never pops up. He said it to like 2020 instead of 2018. It's either that or he set it up for like four years ago. And I've got some of these notifications from literally four years ago where I have a monthly reminder to like send an invoice when I was a freelancer. And so I just ignore it now.

So his Google thing popped up four years, like he was supposed to fire Jason Garrett after that cowboy's playoff loss against the Green Bay Packers. Yeah, it's a Google alert from Jerry Jones or from Jimmy Johnson years. And it just keeps coming. And he just ignores it. He's like, ah, fucking, I'm too lazy to get rid of it. So I don't think he's on the hot seat. I do disagree.

I agree with Hank. I think that this is absolutely the year that he gets fired. He's going to lose his giants on Sunday night, by the way. As much as Jerry Jones loves having an absolute stooge as a head coach that just does whatever he says like a puppet, I think Jerry's just getting feisty recently. He's drinking a little too much Johnny Walker blue masturbating into too many shoes. He's getting he's getting up there in age. He's probably thinking I might never go back to a Super Bowl.

Yeah. That's I can't. I'll say what, when Jerry Jones goes back to a Super Bowl, that Super Bowl week is going to be so lit. Yeah. The big Cowboys, the Death Star bus is going to bring those things driving around town. It's going to be awesome. I thank God the Cowboys and the Giants are playing on Sunday night football.

He did it. Never seen that before. He did it. God damn, it's been years. Yeah. Cool thrown. My cool thrown is Call of Duty. Yeah.

They just released a new game, but it's Battle Royale. So. We'll know October 12th. October 12th, but the beta came out. Because I have it circled. I'm buying the new Call of Duty. Hank has the beta and Big Cat doesn't. Yep.

I wait for the alpha. Yeah. So I'm excited. It's going to be like Fortnite. Yeah. What kind of maps you guys playing? No, it's like, are there good maps on it? They're basically stole from Fortnite.

I don't know what it is. I just know the word maps. They stole from Fortnite. It's a free for all. Yeah. It's a free for all. Oh, okay. Call of Duty.

All in the style. I'm not goofy. I'm hitting this wall with a pool noodle like Fortnite, like these fucking four year olds are playing. Yeah. I'm talking about real guns. World War II shit. Yeah.

World War II. Oh. It's Black Ops. Modern warfare. So is it like one soldier from every country? No. It's, you're fragging each other, so it's a bunch of American soldiers fighting each other.

Yeah, they're just a bunch of mercenaries. It's actually, it's actually based on Blackwater. Okay. So it's just, it's Blackwater and it's set in, in Iraq. Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah. My other cool throne is aliens.

Oh. Scientists searching for extraterrestrial life say they have spotted 72 mysterious signals from an alien galaxy using artificial intelligence. Wait, who said that? Sky News. This is on Sky News. That's not real. Have we asked them?

Yes. Okay. So Sedi, that's from Contact. Was there a blind guy like Jodie Foster's friend that was just sitting down listening? Because actually that's the real instrument to figure out. Sky News. They were, they said they had to, they had to go through 30 terabytes of like, no, 400 terabytes of radio data, which is a fucking shit load.

I don't know how they, I don't know how they'd go through that. Sky News, that's the organization that stole our Wayne Rooney's gonna sign with DC United tweet without fact checking it. So I'm not trusting Sky News. You cannot, if you don't fact check us, you do not get any kind of trust. So it's 72 signals from outer space. Are those the virgins? Oh yeah.

The 72 virgins that you get? From heaven. Yeah. Correct. Okay. So I guess, yeah, we figured that out. Problem solved. Yeah, there we go.

Not aliens, just virgins. Okay. PFT, what do you got? My hot seat is bi-weeks. So bi-weeks in the NFL are on the hot seat, because I don't know if you saw this, but Dalvin Cook had a schedule that was printed out on his locker. Shout out to Diana Rossini, friend of the pod, who noticed it, where he labeled each of the weeks as either like a rivalry week, a, what was it, rivalry game, revenge game,

get your popcorn ready game. We had a revenge game for a guy who didn't play last year. Well, like when he got his knee torn up. So that one game. It would be like the revenge game. So if they're playing the Saints, that's the revenge game? Yeah. That's the revenge game for them all.

And it's actually interesting because all the divisional games were rivalry games, except for the Lions games, which were just like, get your popcorn ready games. But get your stats up, get your stats up games. And then I noticed that the bi-week, he had listed as a trap game. So that even had its own label and credit to him. He's the first person that's a major football guy move to like actually look at the bi-week as an opponent. Right.

So this is where you can get in trouble. That's what trap is. Exactly. That's exactly what a trap game is. So yeah. So bi-week remains undefeated. My cool throne is Al Gore. So Al Gore, you know, we talked a little bit about hurricanes earlier.

There's one that's bearing down on the SEC country. It's going straight for South Carolina and Georgia. I think he's personally directing these government manufactured hurricanes, like we talked about last time, in order to get more money steered towards climate change funds and carbon tax emissions. You fuck with our football. People will start taking notice. It's sick, but you have to take your hat off to him.

He knows. If you want to get those votes from the southern states, funding, you know, renewable energy, things of that nature, convincing that climate change is real by interrupting their Saturday football schedules. I'm just happy that global warming is like something we don't have to deal with for 100 years as we get the sixth storm of the century in the last 10 years. Yeah. Thank God.

We'll figure it out. Yeah. So jokes on everyone that says that, like, it's a problem for my grandchildren. Yeah. I don't have sex. Yeah. So not going to have any grandkids. We are good.

So it's correction. It's a problem for your grandchildren. Yeah. Oh, those raging wildfires in California. Well, it was just a dry year. Yeah. Again. Yeah.

What are you going to do? Is that it? That's it. Okay. I just had one of each. Wow. Look at you. All right.

I have two hot seats. We didn't mention this. Actually, I have one. It's a hot seat. It's us. Sorry. I have two hot seats. I can't believe we didn't mention this on Monday.

The Sunday Night Football Song. Yeah. We're on the hot start. What does NBC think they're fucking doing? I was waiting all day for Sunday night. No. I was waiting all day for waiting all day for Sunday night. And now it's some crappy carry under.

It's also still carry underwood. So at least we still have carry underwood, but it's like, what's the new theme? It's Game On. Game On is the new theme. I don't have room in my brain to learn a new song. That's what I'm saying. Give me the same song. I'm still recovering from Hank Williams.

Yeah. Well, they brought him back. Oh, yeah. That's right. Yeah. See, we don't even remember that sometimes. I don't remember this period where he wasn't there. Yeah.

What was it when he was there? The wildest Hank Williams Monday Night Football Song was in the middle of the first Persian Gulf War, and it just turned into a commercial for the military in the middle of it. And there were like planes flying by and dropping missiles on Baghdad in the middle of the Monday Football intro. And then for some reason, there were two guys wearing Nazi armbands that like jumped up and high-fived each other. Yeah.

It was a wild time. It was football. Early 90s was a strange time for football promoters, but I agree with you. Don't make me learn a new song. It's... Please don't. And I'm waiting all day for Sunday night. Yeah.

Like, I'm doing that. And now I'm... Now I'm not. Now I don't know what to wait for. Now it's on Game On? Yeah. Terrible. But then Thursday night, when it's on, it's on.

Yes. And then... And the standard is the standard. Game On. Come on. Yes. Too much. Yeah.

My other hot seat is... I'm not taking out the panic button. We're taping this right now at five o'clock. I'm not taking out the panic button. But if the Cubs do lose to the Brewers tonight, it'll be a tie in the NL Central. But I'm not taking out the panic button because they're going to win. But I just wanted to throw that out there that I'm so not worried that my hot seat is me and the Cubs and the panic button has not been taken out.

That's how not worried I am. Okay. You sure? No. No. You're thinking about the panic button. I'm just letting everyone know that I'm not worried because you think, you listening right now, you're like, he must be worried.

Nope. If Big Cat was a cartoon, he'd be walking around all day with that little cloud bubble with a panic button just above his head the whole time. And then a piano, I'm walking underneath a window and a piano shape like the state of Wisconsin just drops on my head because that's how it's been the last time. I had... Does it disconnect from the upper peninsula of Michigan? I had a moment on Monday night where I was like, man, I've been in a funk all day.

And I was like, oh yeah, because the bears and I was like, at what point are you just going to grow up? Well, no. You just not let... That was a particularly bad one. But not let sports affect your mood. That was a particularly bad one. Okay.

I'm not there yet. I'll give you that. Did you win your... You bet on the bears. I did. So you won your bet. Yeah. So it wasn't a double loss.

Correct. Correct. But still, it's like... That's sad, sad bear sweatshirt that you were wearing. But like, that's a real question. Okay. Guess what? Grow up, man.

Stop letting this change your entire week. Never. Because then when you die, you can write a really funny obituary where you can say... You let me down. Big Cat requests six members of the Chicago Bears to lower them into his casket so they can let them down one last time. There we go. All right.

My cool throne is Mike Zimmer. He was asked about that game, the Bears Packers game, and Aaron Rodgers came back and he said, I didn't watch because I don't know his TV. So Mike Zimmer, his football guy status, which I don't know if it was ever in question, is officially on the cool throne. Well, he's either a football guy or a hipster. Hmm. Actually, I don't...

He's a court cutter. I don't even own a television. Yeah. That's true. Millennial. Poison your brain. Millennial scum. He's watching the YouTube video.

Yeah. Yeah. That's Mike Zimmer. He's got six subscriptions on his Roku to like YouTube TV. He watches Hulu. He watches Netflix. He'll tell you all about the new season of Ozark. He definitely has a full-on radio.

Like the things that don't exist anymore, he has a full-on radio. No. Not even a full-on. He's got a weather radio. Yeah. In case of a boom box. In a boom box. But he listens to it like all day when he's home and he just gets weather reports, non-stop.

Yeah. He's got a CD boom box that he puts out on the lawn when he mows it so he can listen to the programs. All right. Let's get to our interview with Michael Bennett before we do that. PFT, you have a little something you want to read for us? Yeah. I want to talk to you guys about Velvita.

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Seattle Seahawk. Author. Michael Bennett. Author. Yeah. So are you the best selling author? White people uncomfortable. That sounds like a really fun read.

Yeah. New York time bestseller. There you go. So what's that book about? Gotta read it. I'm going to. I have some things that you actually missed in the book, something that makes white people uncomfortable.

You ready? Yeah. Maybe volume two. First one, not being allowed to bring your dog into a grocery store. I have. I'm not going to say that, but if you think that it makes us very uncomfortable. Every now and then there'll be a song on the radio and I don't know if it's Gwen Stefani or Pink and that makes me really uncomfortable.

And dancing too. I was going to say dancing at weddings when I don't know the organized dance. Yep. And then rap songs that they take the rap beats off of them and put like house music on it. Uh huh. Terrible. When our first round fantasy pick gets injured.

That's not Drake. Like that doesn't sound good. Yeah. Yeah. It will help you co-author the second one. I've got other reading books about race relations. Yeah. Tends to make white people uncomfortable.

Yeah. Would you agree? I mean, yeah. Yeah. I think so. Did you have fun writing the book? Yeah. It's always fun.

We have creative outlets to be able to put your thoughts down and for them to come to life. You never know how it's going to be accepted into the world, so it's always cool. So I'm curious because you're obviously a guy who has played football at the highest level, won a Super Bowl, but you are a lot more than that and you say that all the time. You're like, I'm not just a football player. Yeah. I'm a lot more than that.

When did, when did that like, when, when did the feeling like, hey, I have a platform and I want to speak out? When did that like start to kind of come through? Was it because of Pete Carroll? Was it because of a certain coach? Was it or, or where did that happen? I think it's because of my parents. I think my parents have always instilled us to like, have a voice, being able to get

back to community and finding ways to impact people around us. I think, you know, when you grew up in a household full of leadership, it allows you to go out into the world and, you know, find your place. I think, but also I think being around somebody like Pete Carroll, that allows you to, not that he allows you to do it, but the atmosphere allows people to be more open. Yeah. It's just, it's just a creativity. It's always like the Google approach or the new ways people are doing business in this

like, oh, you can wear what you want to wear as long as you do your job type of thing. And there's not so much where it's always like a military type of situation. And I think a lot of times on a lot of football organizations, the way it's been done has been done for the same way for so long. There's no, there's no creativity in it. And it comes along a coach like the coach from the Rams who comes in and he does something really unusual and he has success in people like, oh, we, we've been doing it wrong for a long period of time.

Yeah. And then John Fox gets another job. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. To clarify, you were talking about Jeff Fisher coming in and doing things differently, right? Yes. Yeah.

No, Sean McVay. Sean McVay. Yeah. But Pete Carroll to me, like he, the one thing, who, Pete Carroll? No, Sean McVay. Oh yeah. Sean McVay does not sleep. At least that's what the TV portrays.

It looks pretty cool. Does Pete Carroll sleep? Does Pete Carroll? No. He gets very woke. Yeah. How many times did he drop the 9-11 theories on you? I think Pete Carroll, I always think of him like Benjamin Button, like he just doesn't,

he's like, how does this reverse agent thing, like he like, I look at him in his face, it looks like he doesn't have too much wrinkle scan. But he's old though. He's old as shit. You know what it is? It's the gum. He smacks that gum. He's always chewing it.

So it works out the jaws and it prevents wrinkles. So I'm just going to chew gum all the time. Yeah. That's true. So for the one thing I always loved about that Seahawks team, the Super Bowl team and, you know, all your guys' successes, it felt like everyone was genuine. Well, yeah. And passionate.

You guys would yell at each other on the sideline. And I love seeing that because it never, sometimes it might have felt like it was real anger, but it also felt like, hey, we're all pulling on the same rope here and we're trying to get things done. Yeah. I think we were, we respected each other. I think when you respect somebody, you can respectfully disagree with them and keep going for it.

I think a lot of times, you know, you can't disagree with anybody now because you've disagreed with somebody. You got to hate them. And it's like, no, we can disagree, but still have respect for each other. And I think on that team, there was a lot of it. I think we, everybody had a respect for the organization and respect for winning and respect for each other, but they always were trying to find ways to win the game. Mm-hmm.

So when you guys would get fiery on the sideline and start, you know, yelling at each other. That makes the game. That makes the game fun when you like got like, it's like intensity. Like when it's like, hey, you got to do better. And it's like, you can do two things. You can, you can shrivel up or you can stand up. You know what I'm saying? And kind of shows what kind of team you on when you got guys are like, okay, maybe sure

I'm right. I do need to play better. Like that's okay for somebody to, you know, tell you that you need to play a little bit better. And it's not like he's trying to tear you down. He's just trying to win the game. Yeah. And so I guess there was like an underlying trust that you knew that the person that you

were communicating with also felt the same way. Yeah. So was there ever a point where you were, you were yelling at somebody, you were trying to motivate them on that team and they just weren't on the same wavelength and they shriveled up? No, I can't really think of too many moments where they shriveled up. Oh, you want to talk about the Super Bowl? Oh, follow up question.

Do you think that Russell Wilson never shriveled up because he's a robot? Now, Russell Wilson, he's just one of those people who is just, he's just authentic in the way he is. I think he's so authentic that people think that it's not real because he just stays consistent in his character. People aren't used to people being consistent in what they believe in all the time. And I think his consistency shows that that's who he is. And I think people don't like that because it's like, why is this guy praying and why

is this guy marrying a supermodel or actress just like, how does he keep winning and people don't like that? So you want to find some kind of flaws in him. How awkward was that trip he took everyone to Hawaii and you guys had to stand at the end of that cliff and like trust build? I wasn't a part of that. You weren't? That was offense.

Oh, it was just offense? Yeah. Oh, defense probably should have come. You might have won another Super Bowl. Well, we were the best defense, so we didn't need to come. Is there like a, is there a genuine, because you know, we've interviewed a bunch of NFL guys, like there always seems to be a rivalry with offense defense and one side's not pulling the, you know, their way.

I don't think so. I don't think I really try not to do that. I think there's times where people get caught up in that, but then they really miss the most important part of it is that we're all in the same team. It's like, you know, you got to find ways to, you know, motivate people. Everybody doesn't get motivated the same way. And I think sometimes people think if you cuss at somebody, yell at them, if you watch hard knocks, they cuss at people so much, I'm like, that's not motivating them.

And I think great leadership is finding out how do you motivate somebody? How do you know the background? Where they came from? What kind of traumas they experienced in their life? Then how do you get the most out of them? And I think there's only a couple of cultures and a couple of people in the world who can, you know, can do that. Tom Cable.

Did Tom Cable ever ask you to play offensive line? No, I would have been good offensive line though, but he never asked me. What was your second best sport? Baseball? Yeah. Tennis. Oh. Oh.

Yeah, it was pretty good. And shot put, right? Yeah, shot put. I was like, shot put. Yeah. Yeah. As far as like athleticism, I think I'm more athletic, but I think if you're athlete, being able to play multiple sports at a professional level, I think he could play NBA professional.

Would you have been a better tight end or would he have been a better defensive tackle? I think I'd have been a better defensive end. Me tight end. Yeah. Your brother is like one of those guys that he, the size and strength of him, like I remember I was on the sideline before a Bears game and he walked by and I was like, holy shit. He a giant. I always forget that when he like eats and he like, you know, I don't eat.

I get a turkey burger and he's eating like three of them. Yeah. And I realized like this guy's huge. Those two burgers is, it's not mass consumption. Do you think, do you think it's fair for me to not like your brother because he didn't watch the Thanksgiving game Bears Packers and admitted that? No. Okay.

You sure? Yeah. As a fan, I was, I felt disrespected. Why? I don't know. It's just one of those things. Like, oh, you didn't watch it? I just wanted to get so caught up in what players doing and what they're doing.

We pay your salary. Yeah. It's true. We pay our own salaries. No. So what's your, what's your biggest gripe with fans? Cause like, you know, we, we, part of the show is, we joke about the meatball fans, but in the bottom, you know, like deep, deep down we have a little meatball in them.

I ain't nice. Fantasy football. Okay. Right. Fantasy football. Is that just cause you're not allowed to play as a defense tackle? No, I just think it just dehumanizes the players. I think you put somebody into a place where they're not, they're not really not human.

And it's like, you play in fantasy with real life. Like those injuries that people are happening, happens to them is like real injuries. And people are like, this guy blew his ACL out. I can't win my fantasy league. And it's like, this guy blew his fucking ACL out. Nobody really cares, doesn't care about him as a human being, just about how many points

can he bring to his team. So I don't like fantasy football. And so that's one of the reasons why I don't play it or I don't even talk about it. I just think it's stupid. Okay. Going back to your brother real quick. Who do you think would win in a fight?

You and your brother against Derek and JJ Watt? Well, whoop JJ Watt and Derek Watt says. Yeah, what about Kyle and Chris Long? Ass whooped. They would whoop your ass? No, they get their ass whooped. Long's pretty, pretty strong. Kyle Long?

Yeah, he's a big boy. What's that mean? What do you mean? He's a big, he's like six, what, six, five strong guy? 310. What am I? Twisted steel. I don't know.

I don't know. He's a little skinny. Yeah, he looks a little skinny. So are you, I read an article that you have a bromance now with Chris Long. Do you know he's a big liberal? Yeah. Okay, because it's.

You don't like liberal stuff? No, no, no. Fuck, I'm fucking around. Chris is a good friend of mine. We just fuck with him. We always, we always get one of that. Yeah. Are you a little bit upset that he voted for Trump?

Mm-hmm. No. Because he did. Yeah. He made headlines because he said he wouldn't go to the White House before the Super Bowl on our show. And would you go to the White House? So he made your show famous, that's what you're saying.

No, not really. We made it hard. We made it famous. No, we were already famous. No, Chris is a good guy. Chris is the type of guy that, you know, I wouldn't let him date my sister, but I let him walk my dog type of thing.

He's a good looking dude. I trust him with my, you know, me. Right, he's got two-meat tattoos. Yeah, two-meat tattoos and a questionable at best. Yeah. I'd agree with that. I'd agree with that. Who's the best defensive tackle in the league right now?

And you can't say yourself. Fletcher Cox. Okay. Good answer. Do you ever think it's a bit immature that Chris always stands next to Fletcher so it's his long cocks? Oh, is that what he's doing?

Yeah. You've noticed that, right? He like tries to position himself. Not that it makes sense. Yeah. Okay. Okay, besides Fletcher Cox, no teammates, no current teammates allowed.

Who's the best defense tackle? I think Jiro McCoy and Arradano are the top two, one of the top two defense tackles, depending on how you look at it. I think Arradano is the premier pass rusher, but I think all around game, I think Jiro McCoy. Do you ever get a little bit just jealous or pissed off called what you want to call it

of like the new quarterback contracts that are coming out? I think everybody gets pissed off at it. Cause it's like quarterbacks they get like, they can be 34 and people are like, oh, you just got more money. But if you're in your other position, they act like you too old to keep competing, you know? But you never know.

Some of these quarterback contracts, they're just good for the league, I guess, you know? But it also kind of, you gotta be, you know, I feel like sometimes with quarterbacks, they like tell other guys like, hey man, you got to do it for the team. But they never ever take less money for the team. Right, right.

It's like Portals did. Tough for Tom Brady. And Blake Portals. He did. Yes, he took less money, but I don't know if he was offered more money, but he took less money. We don't know.

Yeah, right. We don't know what he was offered. But yeah, no, it's a good point. Like guys don't usually do that. They don't take less money. Yeah, because it's like, if I'm a quarterback, I'm definitely not taking so much money where I don't have an office in line,

where I just get beat. That's why you guys, the Seahawks, like a lot of your success those years were because Russell Wilson was still on his rookie contract. And he was so good in getting paid, not, you know, but then office in line, they started to invest in office in line now. So that was something I think they needed to do.

Yeah. I would say so. What's up with your shoulder pads? Yeah. Which one? Or lack thereof? They just get smaller every game. Yeah, is that like a joke?

No, I think my shoulders are so big that the pads are the pads of normal size. I miss my shoulders or ginormous. Have you tried to go out there with just no pads? I would. I would if they let me. Have you ever tried, you should try. I might try.

Yeah. I might get away with it because they might not even notice. Yeah. They're so small now. I think no one would notice. Yeah, you've done a very good job of just like every single game,

they get smaller and smaller when they're totally gone. No one's gonna know. Here's what you do next time. You just wear like a suit jacket. You know, this tight little foam one. That's how my position coach used to do. He used to be so short.

His name was Stan Egging and he used to like word, he's like shoulder pass, like in the A's, like, you know, the dancers and singers, like George Michael, and so he used to look like them. Yeah.

I got to start doing that. You should. It makes your shoulder look really like, you look important, but you look like I'm important. And then my parents are saying, I'm ready to party. Yeah, there you go.

What's the one thing you could change about, if you could change anything about the NFL? You're the commissioner for a day. Ooh. Two things. No, hell no. I think, I think I definitely guarantee contracts and maybe like something with the marijuana issues

or something like that. Yeah. Cause I feel like a lot of guys, like I was telling somebody that, I feel like there's a lot of guys that have had certain traumas in their life that maybe like prescription meds doesn't do the thing for them.

You know, you think about some of these guys, you know, parents could be getting murdered in front of them. I heard a story like that with. The punter, the long snapper for the Eagles. He used to be the long snapper. His whole family got murdered. Oh, the magician guy.

Yeah. He's on the Saints night? Yeah, yeah. Or then on Donal docket. Like some of these traumas that people will be facing in the NFL, like, you know, it has to find a way to like figure out how can we find better ways than just prescription pills.

Yes. I agree. Be careful though, cause you could get addicted and overdose on pot too. That's an issue that Roger Dell is trying to protect you from. Or too much pizza hot. Too much pizza hot. Yeah.

Papa John's. Too much China food. We're down with Papa John's. Eddie Lacy. Yeah. We're Papa John's cancel. He got kicked out of his own company. Yes, he did.

Yes, he did. Papa John's does not work for Papa John's. There was like one mistake that Papa John could have made to get fired from his own company and he made it. He managed to find it. So 18 game season, absolutely non-starter? Absolutely not. Unless they pay more money, but I don't think

that people want to, I think, I would cut the preseason down to eight minutes a quarter or two. Oh, that's actually smart. I haven't heard that before. I like that. Cause it doesn't make sense to have the game so long, 15 minutes when you know that the game doesn't count

but you still want to be able to get. Cause it's basically a glorified practice, really. Right. But there's still people who need to make the team, but the team is kind of picked already, but they always have those couple spots that they try and figure out. They should also play on college fields

to get like different fan bases. You know what I mean? Like travel a little bit away from your city, wherever you are and try to pick up more fans. Cause a lot of fans don't do that. They make so much money, they make so much money preseason, I think. I don't know.

I just think they should cut the minutes down because the risk of losing some of your starters versus the reward of them. I don't think it's worth it. Yeah. Is it impolite? Is it stolen valor to say that you're a veteran now? Would you get mad if I called you a vet?

Yeah, yeah. I'm a vet in the league. Okay. So as a grizzled vet, you chose the Philadelphia Eagles. Did you go into it and say, hey, like I'm happy to play for your team, but you don't have to give me all these reps in the preseason?

Like what's that conversation like before you sign a contract? I don't know. You don't really have those kind of conversations. You just kind of, I think in a field they take care of the vets, though they don't really want the older guys doing too much because the preseason is about

getting the vets to make sure they're in shape and getting your young guys who you want to be a part of the league and being your team, find out what they can do. Are you still going to do the sack dance this year? The gyration? Yeah, two pumps. Two pumps.

Okay. Two pumps make a baby, three pumps make a fine. There you go. I'm going to add that to the list of things that make white people uncomfortable. I like that. Two pumps. Pump.

Stop. Have you ever gotten shit from like any fans being like, hey, you're turning my wife on too much. Please stop. No, people, I've been getting letters written saying that they named their son after me because they've had so much, you know, pump pumps. Yeah.

They're watching you. Yeah, it's like, you don't have a common name either. Yeah, I feel like there was like a baby boom in Seattle around my time. If you look at the amount of babies that were born while I'm a teenager in Seattle, you see that it was at its peak. The pumps.

Do you think that there should be an asterisk on your Super Bowl because the way your stadium design was technically cheating to make it louder? No. No. But it was cheating. How? Because to make it, I don't know how to make it.

You guys use physics and like laws of science to make it louder. Laws of science? Yeah. Like those aren't real laws, though. Yeah, Murphy's law. Yeah. Just threw one out there.

Laws of science, so what do you believe? You don't believe in science? I'm a satan. No, I don't believe in Christmas. Who's the hardest quarterback to sack? Hardest person to sack. Probably Tom Brady kind of gets, even though he gets the ball so he gets out quick.

And I think Derek Carr too. Hmm, interesting. Because you look at 1.9, 1.7, he gets the ball out, yeah. Luke Wilson, when we had him on, he said that someone punched, do you say someone punched something after the Super Bowl? Yeah, something like that. Was that you?

No, I didn't punch anything at the Super Bowl. What was the range of emotions like instantly after? Were you just in shock? To me, it was like, I mean, it was a, we lost and then, but somebody like my wife's grandmother was sick and then my best friend's dad had just died. So I kind of, I didn't even stay after the game. I went to the funerals after.

Right, okay. That makes it, yeah, that puts into perspective. I was there, I think, I mean, you gotta put life into perspective. I think sometimes we focus on our jobs so much that we forget to live in those moments. There's a lot of, everybody's like, you know, you see people who work for companies for 20 years

and their whole life, they were like, I didn't want to be late to work. And then when they finally retire, did you give them like a pen? Like, I gave you 20 fucking years of my life and I get one pen? Yeah. I don't even get a day at work.

Like this is it. And it's like, then we want to give you a retirement fund. Yeah, should have been late to work couple of days. Yeah, should have been late to work. So hang out. Yeah, exactly. Stop and get Starbucks. That's what you're doing.

You stop and get Starbucks. You make everybody like, I'll always think about you guys so I got you guys coffee. I was there right after that Super Bowl loss. I think Pete Presco asked you a question and I think you told him, Pete Presco's like, he's like five foot three, angry little Italian guy, shoulder of arms.

And you said like, you look like you haven't played a sport since seventh grade to him. Would you like to apologize to Pete for that? No. Good, because it was funny. Yeah, that is very funny. What about the guy in Atlanta when you told him to get out of your face?

And the reporter after Matt Ryan carved you guys up. You said, get out of my face, don't play with me. Do you want to apologize to us for that? No. As journalists? No, I don't even apologize to journalists because journalists, they get the pen, they get the pen that gives the chance

to either be good or be negative. And a lot of times you guys have so much power that you just, you get drunk with it. Yeah. And you just write shit down and people just like, that shit's real. He just said it, like shit, like, you know, maybe there is an old shit in Arizona.

Have you tried it? It's fucking addicting, man. That is power, man. You should start blogging. You could talk, here's what you should do. You should talk about journalists the same way the journalists talk about you. Yeah, journalists hate me, they hate me.

Do you, are there any that like, you have a good relationship with outside of us? No, just Jesus. He was the ultimate capital jack. Here you go. How's, what's it like playing for Jim Schwartz? You've only been there, obviously, for training camp. Has his nipples popped out yet?

Whoa, he's got big nipples. He's got really, like diamond cutters. Like when he's wearing those polo shirts that are a little too tight, looks like he's smuggling some raisins. Yeah, I never look at another man's, you know, aeriolas. Okay.

Well, follow up question. I have noticed you've had your eyes up here the whole time. Yeah, it's very respectful of you. Follow up question, have you seen Nick Foles in the shower? No. Okay.

Sure. You would know. You would know if you had. You would know. Yeah. You'd know. You'd know. You'd know.

Oh, you would know. The Anaconda, as Elaine Johnson would say. That's not something you forget. Yeah. You didn't like, maybe I didn't. Imprinting in your mind, that's something you could forget. Yeah. No, you would definitely know.

Big stain. Yeah. Is Carson Wentz going to play week one? Stay tuned. Doug Peterson gets really mad when you ask that question. Yeah, because Doug doesn't like you all in his damn business. That's why, because you know you're a journalist and you got to make some story up and some conspiracy.

What the filler is trying to do with two quarterbacks, one they paying 20 million and the other one they paying 10. Can you trust a guy who wears a visor like Doug Peterson? Are you asking me, do I trust my coach? Yeah. I trust my coach. Okay. I believe in my coach.

That's a fair question, because the visor look. You don't like the visor? It can go either way. I feel like in college it plays. Old ball coach, Steve Spurrier. I know you never know what the visor is. Then Tiger Woods used to wear a visor. I don't think so.

I think as an amateur he might have. Yeah. Back before his band. But he wore a collar shirt though. Yeah. And then when people that wear a collar shirt, you assume that you can trust them. That's true.

No, it's just a visor. I don't know. It's like that look. I don't know. I always assume whoever's wearing a visor, they have that fake hair visor. Yeah. That's what it looks like.

But it's like when people wear a collar shirt, you always think like this person's professional. Or with glasses on. Yeah, but then you find out that they're not. They're just people. Because when Tiger Woods came out everybody was like, Oh yeah. Jesus Christ.

He had sex? Yeah. With a lot of people. And he wore collar shirts. Shocker of the century that he was banging porn stars. I think that was the, I think people were so hurt because they felt like Tiger Woods was the guy that you would leave

with your kids, your wife, your sister. Like he was the most trust worthy black man after OJ. Like he had took over OJ's place. That's a bad list to be at the top of. Yeah. And then like OJ ruined it. And then it was like the trust came back with Tiger Woods. And it was like this guy, Tiger Woods.

He's blazing. He's got it. He's the guy. He's on Buick commercials. And then he fucked his neighbor's daughter. And Perkins waitress. That's tough. That's tough.

Did you play for Greg Shiano in Tampa Bay? He did. He fucked his neighbor's daughter. That was the one that was like, Oh Tiger, come on man. Like the Perkins waitress like, Okay, you're out. You're getting, you know, your waffles and eggs.

You're getting a little horny, whatever. But your neighbor's daughter. That's a little too much. A little too much. And she was like 18 too, right? Yeah, it was a little too much, Tiger. He like went to her graduation party. I'm a Tiger guy.

I'm the number one Tiger guy in the world. But even for me, it was a little too much. Did you play for Greg Shiano? Yeah, I did. Were you a Shiano man? No, no, Shiano was, he was a good guy, but he was just, he was Shiano, man. Yeah.

That's pretty much sums it up. Yeah. He's. Well, how'd you feel about him not getting that job though? I was heartbroken. I thought that was kind of bullshit. I was heartbroken. I think that football is a better place

when Greg Shiano's just screaming his guts out, having an aneurysm on the sideline. Wait, so you agree that he should not have gotten a job? I thought the whole thing was weird, like how did Tennessee not vet it? Do you know what I mean? Like how do you not do your due diligence and figure out exactly.

So then to hire him and then fire him was kind of bullshit. Like do your job. You have, you see, all these, all these hiring firms, they spend millions of dollars and then they just end up. But they don't really know. They don't do anything. They don't do anything. They end up with John Fox.

It's like insurance. Yeah, right. It's like insurance is good until it's time to use your insurance. And you're like, yeah, so insurance got in the wreck and I want to, you know, do something with my car. Whose fault was it? I'm not sure.

I think it was my, oh, we can't help you. You have to fuck up and pay for 20 years. All it's for is so the athletic directors can have plausible deniability if they make a mess up when they hire a coach. So like, oh, well, the search firm told me to do it. So I did it. I mean, I think it's also very dangerous

that Tennessee just gave their fan base like all that power. So they hired them and then there was a big backlash from the fans. And so now they're just like behold into like a screaming, screaming Bob. Yes. Did you wait when you were in Tampa?

So you had Greg Siano. Did you, was it just Greg Siano or you have another coach as well? Oh, I had Raheem Morris. Hey, he was a really good coach, but Josh Freeman though, you had, when you put so much money into the quarterbacks and they don't, I know Josh Freeman should have been like,

I don't know, I was just talking to my friend about him. He had like the, he had that arm, man. But he's like, he never put it together. Yes. One, it was like a three week span where nobody knew what was going on with Josh Freeman. And Sean would like leak stuff into the press about drug tests.

Then he got traded to the Vikings and they started him on like Thursday night with no reps. And he just looked like the worst quarterback ever and never played another snap. Yeah, that was a weird situation. That was a downfall. Did he, did Greg Siano ever tell you to dive out of guys' knees?

Were you part of that play? I was. Yeah. Were you like, what the fuck is this guy telling me to do? I think he had a good point. Hey, when you keep fighting to the end. Play to the end whistle. Play to the end.

It's like, if a player quits chasing a guy, fans get mad. But if a player trying to get the ball back, then they still get mad. What, what do you want? It's like, it's like being married. Like you never know what your wife wants. You're like, I thought you wanted the cake,

but you didn't want that type of cake. But then, you know, it's a long story. Yeah. Yeah. I hope, how mad was the offensive line? They must have been pissed. They were super mad. They were like, I can't believe you threw this.

And then I forget. Can't believe you're diving in my knees after I just tried to cup block you three minutes ago. It's a good point. It's a good point. Don't think about who he is. What about when you went into the crowd in? That wasn't me.

Jacksonville. That wasn't me, see? Were you pulling people out of it? No, I had nothing to do with that. That was a wild scene. That's a wild scene. That's the Seahawks edge, though, that I love. Edge, you know, the edge is just enough.

Bobby Brown. Yeah. Did you guys, would you guys tell, would Pete Carroll coach you guys to like have play with that edge, play with a little almost out of control? No. I don't think so. I think people were just out of control anyway.

Yeah. I just had the out of control, guys. You just got to be out of control to play the NFL anyway, to run yourself into a head. They would do, there would be like a new story that would come out every training camp, all about how Pete Carroll was like teaching you guys how to rugby tackle, like the hot tackle, all that.

That's pretty much, I mean, that's the big complaint about tackling right now, but it's like the way that Pete Carroll was talking about tackling, he was a little ahead of his time as far as like realizing that the trauma of the tackles and what people were doing was going to, you know, hurt people. And so the new way of trying to get your head out of it is exactly what people try to do in the NFL.

Like I feel like we can't have it both ways. We can't say that we want to cut down CT and the traumas of concussions. But then when people propose new ways of tackling, we complain about it. So it's like, we can't do that. Like we either, we got to be, the end result has to be protecting our brain or it doesn't, you know what I mean?

That's intentional by the NFL though. What? They're intentionally, everyone, you know, rightfully so says, okay, the players, their brains, CTE, like this is very dangerous. So what they do is, what they intentionally have done is make outrageous rules that kind of takes tackling out of football so that it basically puts it back on the fans

and everyone complaining and be like, well, what do you want? Like we made the rule and now you're complaining that football is not around anymore. Yeah, but I'm thinking for, I'm just talking about period and the players, the players have to find a better way outside the NFL to find ways to do better tackling. And I think find a way to like tackle better and not be so many, because everybody like concussions is a serious issue,

you know, it's a trauma on the brain, you know? So it's like people don't want to, you know, we have to find a better way of tackling. I think sometimes you're having a rule to force you to think differently. It happened, sometimes it might work out. I think guys are now, I practice figuring out how to tackle but like I said, I think Pete Carroll was ahead of that.

So at the level of the NFL, you guys are all professionals when Pete would show like those videos and be like, okay, this is a hawk tackle, this is a roll tackle, et cetera. Would you guys actually like, as a defensive tackle, especially, would you change the way that you played the game based on what he'd show you? Yeah, cause I knew it would work. I knew it would be better for ourselves by learning how to

tackle better, like that is the way they explained it was like less injuries, do this. So people were like, let's tackle properly. Cause I think what happens at the moment of impact and tackling, somebody gets scared every time. There's, you look at it, there's very rarely that there's a couple guys in NFL who are really just coming in and they form tackle the right way.

But every time people duck their heads at the moment of contact, 85% of everybody gets scared. If you look at it, people's eyes are closed. They're scared of it. It's human nature. It's human nature. So doing the other tackle, you know, you're not scared. You watch the way camp chance, everybody does tackle.

They tackle properly with the shoulder punch and doing different things. I have an idea to make tackling safer. As your coach, since I pay your coach a salary, let me coach you up on these points. In rugby, when you tackle, you have to try to wrap up. That's me farting and talking. When I want to talk to the asshole, I'll fart.

But go ahead. No, no, in rugby, when you make a tackle, you have to make an attempt to wrap up. Do it again, fart again. You have to try to do it. Nobody comes up with a short flagellant over here. Don't care about rugby, right? No, rugby is fun.

I think you have to make an attempt to wrap up in a leg. I think that's like, actually, that's a good point. Thank you. Since you paid my salary. I think you're having to try to wrap up. I'm sorry. To wrap up, I think it makes it a more impactful tackle. Many people won't be as jumping like you're saying.

Because a lot of people jump. You see a lot of people dive like the dude from the Saints. Like, what was he doing? Oh, in the last play against the Vikings. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He just came in like heads down, just leaping. Yeah, it doesn't work like that. Yeah, yeah.

All right, the C-Key question. Put a promo code TAKEY at $10 off C-Key Purchase. Go see Michael Bennett play for the Eagles. Super Bowl Champion Eagles. You don't have to. OK, don't. That's true. Still buy the ticket.

Yeah, buy the ticket. Buy the ticket, but don't go. Do you have any questions for us? No. All right. This is a great interview. I got a question. Did you ever drink Russell Wilson's concussion water?

No. What'd you think about that? I heard it was he, it works. He said it works. Yeah, I know he said it works. Here's how I know. I broke my foot and I chugged it. And then when I had surgery on my foot,

they went in there. They're like, I don't find a fracture anymore. So my body healed itself. We gave it to our goldfish. And he, well, he died. He died. But we didn't give it in it. It did not have CP.

I don't think Russell Wilson knows what CBD is. No, he's definitely not smoking weed. No. I don't smoke weed either just for the fact. Just for the record. Just for the record. Yeah, America. I've never taken a marijuana.

Straight edge. We're straight edge. Who said they didn't inhale? Yeah, it was Bill. I didn't inhale. That was the entire point of smoking weed. I put it to my mouth. And I didn't.

That was it. I had sex, but I didn't nut. Yeah. So it didn't count. Pulled out. It actually doesn't count. That's true. Yeah.

No. Give me an official prediction real quick for your record this year as a seahawk. I'm not a seahawk. Give us a prediction of the seahawks. I don't know what they're going to be. OK. OK.

Good answer. As an eagle. Well, I think we're going to be in one hour conference and then go from there. OK. What do you think Nick Foles is going to do as your starter? Nick Foles is going ball. I think Nick is an awesome quarterback.

He has commanded offense. He is able to throw a deep ball, apparently. And then he is able to get the running game going by calling the right checks and stuff. They put a lot of pressure on him to be able to call the right plays in. Obviously, he did it last year. He could do it this year.

I do have a serious question. So did you watch Hard Knocks at all? No. OK. So this is the first series. Yeah, this is the first series question. In this week's episode, they had Michael Kendrick stand up in front of the team.

And he basically gave a scouting report. Yeah. And he was like, OK, 86, Zach Hertz. He's the best receiver on the team, but he can't block. He doesn't want that smoke. And then he said, you left tackle. He's fat and has slow feet. Yeah, whatever, yeah.

Is there any like, was there any animosity? Has anybody talked about that? I've been like, hey, fuck you, man. Why are you telling all the shit about us to the other team? I don't know. I really don't know. Yeah, you haven't been in practice since.

Yeah, but I mean, I was there, but I don't know how to see. There's a guy actually thinking about it. You haven't. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. But I think guys are just probably just watching it and being like, oh, fuck. People get mad at that kind of stuff.

But at the end of the day, people just talking. What do you expect him to say about his past team? I think there's some type of animosity towards the organization. He's not going to have any good things to say. He's not going to be like, he's the best guy in the world. He's going to find a way to motivate his team to find a way to win the game.

And then he was like, and then also you'll notice their D-line coach has nipples that stick out everywhere. So he did say that about Jim Schwartz. And you can't trust their coach because he wears a visor. Said all those things. OK. So did you learn anything from us today? Not to do drugs at work.

There you go. You can pee in a sink. I taught you how to tackle. You did. You had a good point about you didn't teach me how to tackle, but I thought you taught your audience how to tackle. What you were saying makes sense. Thank you.

OK. It's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. OK. All right. Well, Michael Bennett, thank you so much. Appreciate it. Good luck this season. Well, thank you so much.

Don't let Chris trigger you, OK? I heard that part of that article was saying that he knows how to push your buttons. No button. Yeah. Don't let him do that. The only person I push my buttons is my wife. Get you a wife that knows how to push your buttons.

I think that's code for button. No comment. I never said it about my wife. My wife is a beautiful being. Congrats on the size. Michael, thank you. Appreciate it. That interview with Michael Bennett was brought to you by Hems.

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The hurricanes, the turnover chain is back and it's brand new. They got a new one. They got a glow up on the turnover chain, which coincided perfectly with their week one lost LSU where they got zero turnovers. Well, and also Wisconsin just stomping the shit out of it and Paul Chris scored for the first time in his life.

Yeah, he was like, fuck the turnover chain. Oh, I'm sorry, please forgive me. It was the direct quote was turnover chain my ass and then the most Paul Chris Wisconsin story ever. He said that his mother called him and reprimanded him after. Yeah. So Paul Chris would look awesome in that gray sweatshirt

with the turnover chain hanging over it. Oh yeah, oh yeah. The Sabre Metrix is the new turnover chain is worth $98,000, $98,000. You know, call me old fashioned, but I really miss the days when the turnover chain was pure and kind of innocent and just a random thing that they made for $20,000.

Well, I'm just happy that they found the money. They scrounge up the money, maybe like lifted up a couple couches, a couple cushions to find the money to get this turnover chain without paying anybody. Whatever, that's fine. That's okay. Yeah, that's totally fine.

The turnover chain's definitely worth money to the players. The memories last forever and paycheck does nothing. Yeah, listen, you could either get paid $50,000 a year to play for the University of Miami or you could put on a $95,000 chain one time on the sidelines for the game and then have to give it back. Yes. Did you see the Florida State backpack?

Yeah, the turnover backpack. Willie Taggart, what are you doing out there? There's gotta be a story behind that too of like, why is it a backpack? I don't know, but that is... Because you secure the bag. Because they don't go to school. Or you took them to school.

Yeah, or Florida State, the only time you ever put on a backpack is on the sidelines of football game. That's very true. Yeah. That's their school motto. Yes, exactly. We have a stay woke.

What do you have, PFT? Okay, I've got a stay woke. Today is 9-11. You're listening to it on 9-12, but online there have been a bunch of memorials of George Bush throwing out that pitch. Greatest first pitch ever. Greatest first pitch of all time.

All time. He hung that thing in there, probably threw it at about, what, 70 miles, 65 miles an hour? Perfect. I'm gonna guess 65 miles an hour. Perfect strike right down the pipeline. How come nobody's ever asked?

Is George Bush on steroids? It was the height of the steroid era. Did W take PED? And we're testing for it in presidents at the time. Listen, if he did, more power to him, because that's the most American thing ever, to combine like, patriotism, baseball, steroids, perfect pitch.

It was the most important, probably public thing that he ever did as president. Yes. And so why wouldn't you rub a little bit of cream on your arms? Absolutely. Put some clear underneath your tongue. One quick cycle? Yes, do a cycle.

He got warmed up with Derek Jeter, right? And Jeter told him not to bounce it. Right. And then Jeter probably pat him on the ass, had a little syringe, a little vial, just shot him up real quick in the butt. We also had the other incredible sports moment, the Mike Piazza home run, which was like,

still gives you chills. It's like that, the George Bush, there was a ton of unbelievable moments after those sports moments. Sammy Sosa ran around with the flag, like there was a bunch of those, but Mike Piazza, there was a tweet going around and Hank, you got well actually, didn't you?

Yeah, so I retweeted the tweet from starting nine. It was the video of him hitting the home runs that chills every year. And a guy replied to me and he said, Roy's though, not that impressive. Cheated to complete such a quote unquote chilling event. Yep, so it didn't happen. That's yeah, none of that happened because of steroids.

Yeah, there's an asterix on George Bush's strike. Unreal. If he didn't take Roy's, it would have been impressive. Could you imagine being that guy? Like on 9-11, it's a very serious day, a very sad day, obviously a day that everyone should remember everything that was lost. And people are trying to be like,

hey look, here was this moment not that far after that was kind of brought New York together. And then be the guy on Twitter being like, well actually Roy's. Yeah, Mike Piazza, he cheated. How miserable do you have to be as a human being? I want to interview that guy. Also, reach out to him.

Mike Piazza showed a little bit of homophobia in that press conference where he was so angry about being called gay. So like are we going to celebrate a big hit for his home run? True. Let's DM that guy. Like what other great moments that we can all,

what are your thoughts on Miracle on Ice? Yeah, I want more to, yeah. Well really the Miracle on Ice was only special because of the propaganda war between the United States and Russia. People forget it wasn't the gold medal game, so not that cool. Not cool at all.

Yeah, all right, we have a King State Kings. This is for Big Ben. He is hurt. Week one, he's already hurt. So Mike Simmer, or sorry, Mike Tomlin has said that Big Ben hurt his minor elbow issue that may limit him in the early part of the week, but he seems unconcerned saying Steelers oftentimes

limit him in the beginning of the week anyway. So. The way I see it, Big Ben probably doesn't get out of bed until Wednesday. Yeah, this is a non-issue. Big Ben, definitely not a practice guy. No, they said he's got bumps and bruises, which is probably just HPV and just a rash.

Yes, yeah. It's normal for Ben to have bumps everywhere on that man's body. Yeah, I mean, Ben, it's a little early in the season to get started with us, but he's getting older. He's like an old dog. He's got hip dysplasia probably. I can't wait for the first graphic of his body that we get.

The whole body's gonna be lit up with his history of injuries. Just the old game. Remember that game, where you had to take the bones? It's operation. Yeah, he looks like the operation patient laying down. And so they're gonna be like, well, his funny bones fucked up. And you thought we were gonna do the Big Ben walking boot,

but we're not gonna do it. We're not gonna do it. Nope, not gonna do it. Because it's his arm. Not his foot. Can you hear him? I'm in your closet, Ben. I'm in your closet.

Let me out. Here. Let me introduce you to my friend, Arm Sling. He's running out of different parts of his body to injure. I've never heard of an elbow injury. It seems to me like that's kind of a big deal for a quarterback. Yep. Probably the most important thing, besides maybe shoulder or your guts.

But yeah, he's running out of parts to injure. If he had a Big Ben, he probably actually does have ghost pains where his tail should be. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, 10,000 years ago I actually had a tail. Yeah, had a tail fracture. It's just perfect, though, Big Ben, because bad game, well, injury. It's just perfect.

Also, it's cold outside. Yeah. And Big Ben doesn't like weather. Wet. He doesn't like to travel. Yeah. All these things, new rooms. Yeah.

All these things. We have, last up, before we get to guys on chicks, we have a trouble in paradise. So Polina Gretzky, who is the daughter of Wayne Gretzky, the great one, and also married to Dustin Johnson, a very good golfer, has scrubbed her entire Instagram of all Dustin Johnson pictures, leaving up a Tiger Woods picture, which leads many to believe that they are on the rocks. Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, for Dustin Johnson, he's got a lot of things on the rocks.

That's how he likes them. True. Wayne Gretzky said, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Yeah. Dustin Johnson has never not taken a shot. That's true. My question to you is, at what point do you, you know how we were talking earlier about it, like, you know, at what point does sports just not affect you?

At what point do you reach a mature level where if you break up or have a divorce, you don't, the first move isn't to just delete every picture off Instagram before announcing anything? I don't know. I don't know how that works at all. This is straight, like 14-year-old stuff. Yeah. People that grew up with Instagram, that's just standard operating procedure.

Right. Like, once it's official, once you break up, heaven forbid you get into another relationship and there are still pictures on your Instagram of like your boyfriend you had five years ago. Yeah. Like, forget about it. Get rid of that. Get rid of that.

Get rid of that. Is this, are we on the right track here, Hank? What's your protocol? It's what Big Cat's saying. It's like, how, at what point do you get to that age where you don't do that? Right. But you, as your first move, you have to do it eventually, but as your first move to do that, it's like, what are you doing?

You should be announcing something first. I have one more Trouble in Paradise. Put out a press release using your Notes app. It's also like extremely transparent and there's clearly something going on. The tiger picture's up there. Yeah. Just saying. Just putting, just connecting the dots.

I have one more quick Trouble in Paradise. There's also the, the girl, I like, the girl that's being linked to like, she's a girl who calls herself a golf socialite who's a member, who's a member at Dustin Johnson's club and like a source says, she really just wants to be the ultimate golf girl. So she's the one that's rumored to be the one that is the reason for this drama. Golf socialite. She's a golf socialite. Jesus Christ.

God forbid Dustin Johnson. That happens to play at the same club as DJ. Don't walk on any hardwood floors, Dustin. No. Sit down with those socks on. That's an interesting job description to write down on your tax returns, isn't it? Golf socialite. Golf socialite.

Yeah. Golf socialite. So here's my other Trouble in Paradise. Me starts a movie. Also me keeps playing with my phone for 10 minutes straight. Very relatable. Someone. Wait, wait.

Hang on. Me starts a movie. Also me keeps playing with my phone for 10 minutes straight. Not watching the movie. You started. Yes. Gotcha. Someone tweeted.

You got to finish it though. What? The tweet. Oh, is there more to the tweet? I didn't open the whole thing. Okay. Then the movie. Oh, that was, that was very me though.

Me starts a movie. Also me keeps playing with my phone for 10 minutes straight. Me. The movie sucks. The movie, and it's just Kim Kardashian being like, what the hell? So the movie's pissed off that you didn't give it a chance because you thought it sucked when you were looking at your phone. Correct.

Got it. That is so me, by the way. Someone famous quote tweeted this, and I'm not going to say the name, but he said, this is Chrissy. John Legend. And someone replied, not going to say the name, wrote, not all of us need 90 minutes to figure out something sucks. John and Chrissy would be a real shame.

Would be a real shame if that power cup would be a real, I'm just saying, if they can't decide what to watch on Netflix, yeah, it's a little crack, a little crack, listen, crack in the wall, big crack in the wall. And if there's one woman that can be seduced using Twitter, I bet it's Chrissy Teigen. So we just say who wants to try to seduce Chrissy Teigen, circle it, circle it folks, put in your tickler file. Okay. Let's do guys on chicks.

What's up guys, especially big cat. Whoa. The way, what do you mean? It's like the squiggly line, and then big, and then another squiggly line. Big cat, your big boy. Okay. Big guy. Got it.

I found out my boyfriend's friends call him the professor, and sometimes pro for short. When I asked him about it, he got nervous and tried to laugh it off. As I know, he is not actually a professor. What does this mean and should I be worried? Okay, I know. He used to be a street ball legend on the N1 mix tape tour. Yeah. He was ashamed of his former life.

He's schooled hot sauce. Yeah. There are a lot of videos out there of him actually doing illegal double dribbles, which he's embarrassed of. Yeah, no. He probably fucked a professor once. Maybe while he was still dating you. So that's, just be careful when he has office hours.

Or maybe he makes methamphetamines. Maybe he's a chemistry guy. Oh, that's true. Hey, PMT boys, especially Hank and his shy little guy. Why do I scream so much during sex? Compared to my roommate. Am I just enjoying it more or should I be worried about how well I can take it? Yeah, I think you're just more in tune with your body.

You have low inhibitions. Here's what you got to do. Send us some audio and we'll decide. So send us some audio of you screaming during sex and we'll diagnose it as doctors and professors will diagnose it. There's such a thin line between pain and pleasure. Are you sure sex just isn't hurting you? How much are we screaming here?

It's a good segue to this question that is, why does sex feel good? For you or for me? Because I know it feels good for me. Sick brag on having a boyfriend who doesn't come in 15 seconds. I think it feels good because somebody wants to have sex with you, actually. That's the best part of having sex is thinking during it. This person wants to have sex with me. Also, I think it feels good because we're built to procreate and then have so many of

us that we fry and burn our own world and all kill ourselves. It feels good to destroy the earth. Yeah, 100 years up, we're good. Sup Thiccat, PFT and Bubba, hey Hank. I've been on the tinder grind recently and I've noticed some tendencies from guys. Why do guys always use this face? Wait, so was that the smirking face? No, that's some good radio.

Do it again because I can actually hear it. Don't say anything. Do it closer to the mic so people can... All right, so that was a half smile. Yeah. When they're trying to make a move and be smooth, the face looks like it just farted. I don't get why it's used that way. Thanks.

Because guys just look stupid, no matter what. No matter how you catch us, we're going to look weird in some way. If you put on a half smile, at least it's like, okay, that guy's trying to look a little weird. No, well, here's the real reason because that worked for one guy at one point and then every guy is done. It's basically like guys are fishing in a fishing hole and if you catch one fish, the next day there'll be a thousand guys fishing in that same fishing hole being like, well, there

was one fish here once. There must be more fish. So you think that one guy linked up with a girl on Twitter and then he... Because of... He sealed the deal. But then he told every other guy. He sealed the deal because of the... But how did all the other guys find out about it?

We just know. I don't know. Just spread. They're like, hey, we found a trick. Hey, we finally got the playbook on women. Yeah, you do the half smile. Actually, you know what I think it is? Girls always say they like a nice guy, but in reality, they can take it from even as

a little bad boy. So if you're doing the half smile, it's like you're friendly, but you know what, you also got a little shit to you. And you're up to trouble. Yeah. Hey, PMT boys, especially Slim Cat. Long time hater, now lover of your podcast. Whoa.

Okay. No, that's fine. Okay. That's fine. Yeah. It's probably a chick. She didn't like her boyfriend. I was listening to it.

You know what? We were persistent. Yeah. Sub. Good for us. Yeah. My question today is about pajamas or lack thereof. My boyfriend insists on sleeping butt ass naked and nothing is more uncomfortable than

a soft penis flopping into you in the middle of the night. Let alone the amount of body hair I find in my blankets after he sleeps over. Is there a better sleeping arrangement option for us? Maybe one in which he is more covered up. Tell it. Here's what you do. Buy him underwear. Buy him underwear, but you tell him what kind of underwear buy me on these, but be like,

you look so sexy in that underwear. And then he'll just always wear that underwear. Now, here's what you really do. You have someone calling a bomb threat to your apartment building in the middle of the night. One time he has to run out of his fucking bed naked. He won't sleep naked anymore because that's like, that's a big fear of mine. Like imagine if someone, if you're naked, I know this sounds crazy, but if like someone

broke into my apartment with a knife, if I'm clothed, I can beat them up. If I'm naked, I'm fucked. He'll stab me. I'll die right away. And I'll have the shirt to cover me up. Or you could just now put your muffs on if you're, if you're sensitive out there. But you could just roll over onto him during the night and just period on him. Oh God.

Just have a period. I mean, I have my, I have my ear muffs outside anyway. And then, you know, then he'll think maybe if I wore underwear, maybe I just wouldn't get all messy. So I just started with Mike Greenberg and ended with that. That's good advice. Yeah. That is great advice.

Last one. That's it. All right. All right. We have, I don't know who we have on Friday. We've got some options. Yeah. We have, we have a little, yeah, we do have actually a lot of options.

So be excited. Oh, here's a reason to listen Friday. PFC 9 went 7-0-1 on our picks. So we literally do not lose. Yeah. 10 bucks on a parlay for that. No, no, no, no, no, you don't sell well. If you had put down a million dollars on each pick, you would have seven million dollars

right now. Okay. A one million dollar unit better. If you had parlayed it, you would, if you had parlayed one dollar, someone did it. They won 315. They did? So Hank, I knew, but I was trying to say, I was trying to sell it a little bit more than you.

Yeah. If you put down $10. No, but the 7 million. You would have walked away with 300. 315,000. No, if you put down $15 million, the one million dollar unit parlay better is up $315 million off our picks. If you took our advice, you would be a millionaire right now.

Yes, easily. So tune in Friday. Love you guys. It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports. Thank you. Bye. Bye.