Pardon My Take - *EMERGENCY BRYAN COLANGELO BURNER ACCOUNT UPDATE* NBA W/ Ryen Russillo, NHL W/ Ryan Whitney + Half Baked Ideas W/Rone

Episode Date: May 30, 2018

NBA off day drama, Bryan Colangelo had 5 burner accounts trashing Sixers team moves and players (2:20 - 15:21). Pusha T dropped a diss track and basically murdered Drake (15:21 - 21:18) the return of bachelor talk for guys that don't watch the bachelor (21:18 - 26:41). Hot Seat/Cool Throne including Stephen A Smith, Avocados, and Unwritten Rules (26:41 - 37:45). Ryen Russillo joins the show to talk about life in Hollywood, the NBA Finals, and debunking some of our hottest takes about the Warriors (37:45 - 68:52). Ryan Whitney joins the show to talk Stanley Cup Final, Vegas pregame, and an all time bashing basketball (68:52 - 88:16). We're skipping segments today because we went back to back shows so instead we did Half Baked ideas with Rone, highlights including the Amazing Racist, Pocket Pussy Wallets, Invisible socks, and Hall of Fame for average dudes. You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. Emergency update to today's part of my take. Every big news story broke after we taped the show, so we are back and we are fixing the start of the show. We're talking Brian Colangelo and his burner accounts, Drake and Pusha T. The rest of the show remains the same, Hot Seat Cool Throne, Bachelor Talk, that's all still there.

Mine was still half-baked ideas, it is a monster-monster show, but we couldn't let this pass. When a GM has five burner accounts, all of a sudden revealed and we are already in bed, we had to come back and do it, so listen right now. And before we get to all of that, it is getting hot, it is getting swampy, it is summertime, and guess what? You're going to start fading in the summer, but you know who doesn't fade? Mike Trout, Mookie Betts, Anthony Rizzo, you know why? Because they're drinking body armor.

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So make the switch with us to body armor sports drink, I actually was sweating my balls off coming into the office today because I was like, we got to get in, we got a tape about Brian Colangelo, and guess what I did when I first got in? I grabbed the body armor, so go right now at www.drinkbodyarmor.com to learn more. Thanks Gatorade Body Armor, we'll take it from here. All right, let's go. Welcome to part of my tape presented by Seeky, today is an emergency update to the podcast, it is Wednesday, May 30th.

So if you're listening to this right now, that means that we, you didn't get the little treat of the podcast we already taped on Tuesday night before seven o'clock, I'd say twice a year we tape our podcast before seven o'clock, twice a year we're like, hey, let's have an early night. And then of course, last night happened, and the whole world went crazy, the internet went crazy, so we are back, it is Wednesday morning, we are re-taping the beginning so that you can get all the information that has happened. And we should start from the top, the most important thing, JJ Watt thinks that getting

an honorary doctorate makes him an MD. He's actually a doctor now, yeah, I love the regalia, that's why we're re-taping. I love the regalia that he had on, he had like the full cape, the hat, the whole line yards, he saw that dude from the chiefs get a doctorate, and he was like, I have one too, I'm a doctor too because I raise a lot of money. He literally thinks that he can go and operate on someone, like when they're on, when he's next on a plane and like someone has a, you know, a stroke or a heart attack, like is there a doctor on this plane, JJ, he's like, yes, that's me, I got that honorary doctorate

in humanities from Baylor that one day. I would honestly, I would let JJ Watt be my doctor for like minor issues. Yes. If I had like a knee injury or a back injury or another knee injury or another leg injury. Yeah. Or another knee injury. Tibia, fibia. Yeah.

He's pretty much an expert when it comes to that. All right. So the real story, that was a little, that was a little joke though we call in the biz, a little misdirection. In the biz we call it a joke. Yeah, we call it a joke. I don't know if you know about that. So the real, the real story, Brian Colangelo, the GM, I think the president in slash GM

of the Philadelphia 76ers, it has been outed that he has five different burner accounts. Allegedly. Allegedly. They're doing an investigation. So they are. I would love to be in charge of that investigation. So it's alleged, but, but let's just, let's just set the table of why, like the facts behind it.

So he allegedly definitely has five burner accounts. So there's, there were five burner accounts that some, someone ran like a test and it had very similar language. It followed similar people. It followed people like everyone who played for the sixers, people in the front office. His son. His son's basketball team, University of Chicago, which that's part of this. I didn't even realize that those nerds played basketball.

It's alleged, but he also, like some of the accounts were live tweeting his son's basketball game, which is very random. They even said, uh, uh, let's see, I have one here. I know it's Sunday morning, but it's defense optional for the maroons today. Good question. So, uh, that's totally random chirping his son, so random that someone that's randomly watching University of Chicago, which I guarantee the only people watching it are the parents. Um, so, so he has these five accounts that the ringer then goes and research and they're

like, we link all these together. The ringer then calls the sixers and they're like, Hey, we know of these two accounts that we think are burner accounts for Brian Colangelo, not telling them about the other three about an hour later, all five go private. Yeah. That's a very sneaky move. Like credit to the ringer for doing that because I would not have been able to keep that secret.

I've been like, Hey, I found all five. Yeah. I found them all. Yeah. Well, that's the best part about it. Give me credit. Give me credit. I have my, actually my favorite part about this is that simply his last name, coangelo

implies that there are two Angelo's pilot and copilot in his dad and I have a big stay woke for you coming up about his dad. Okay. I bet you do. Big time. Big time stay woke. But either way. All right.

So the whole story started from a Twitter DM, from an egg Twitter DM, which is also hilarious because if someone had DMed us this, we would have just like, we would have just tweeted it right away. I would just scream. We would have just been like breaking news. Brian Colangelo has five Twitter accounts. Yeah. Credit to us for unmasking this.

Wait, no research. Is this doxing? They doxed Brian Colangelo. Yeah. That's fucked. That's unethical. That's unethical. You got to get his name right.

Colangelo. Colangelo. There you go. Coangelo. Yeah. That's why I was like, that doesn't really makes it like the coangelo. It's Colangelo. Coangelo.

Yeah. Colangelo. There's an L you're missing in there. Colangelo. Colangelo. Colangelo. Colangelo. Yes.

Exactly. Colagello. Yes. There you go. Okay. Did you hear about the twins? They were named Colagello and Limangelo. Yeah.

Yeah. That's good. That's good. Tipped off the ringer, which people actually think this is now Sam Hinkie that tipped them off, which the plot thickens because Sam Hinkie teaches a class at Stanford about artificial intelligence and has the ability to run these tests being like the words are the same, the language is the same, the follow the people he follows are the same, the location is the same.

So Sam Hinkie definitely has a smoking gun here, right? Yeah. Absolutely. When I first saw the think about I didn't even know what he was doing these days. I just knew that Sam Henke paid the ultimate price. He got fired. The NBA basically said we can't have Sam Henke Ruining a team like this. So they got rid of them Coangelo got brought in and so Henke is obviously the one with the motivation The one thing I don't understand is why these burner accounts were like going after sixers players

But then like they would do opposite things in terms of actual team management So like they would chirp Joel and beat and say you're not part of the team's long-term plans But then like six months later. They give him a big extension because I think he probably got overruled a lot of times So he was doing a lot of things that were like trying to get the truth out So he would tweet check Jaleel. Okra for his physical I bet you he failed the physical when he when when collangelo tried to make the trade to get rid of Joe To get rid of okra for and he would tweet things like oh It's Markel Fultz's like trainer that's got him fucked up and shit like that and like Joe on beat

he was very upset that Joe on beat took his shirt off and Danced at whatever. What was it a meek milk concert? He was very upset about that. He was also very upset This is how you know it's him. He got triggered because someone made fun of his collar. Yeah, that's the best Yeah, the best tweet he actually the collar is fine. Yeah, he said the collars fine move on find a new slant He he does have huge collars. It's bad collar enormous collars bad bad collar Okay, I actually think what he was doing was he was just impersonating six years I think it was all performance art Mm-hmm

He was just like creating an audience of five stereotypical six years fans I'd all had different like attitudes and he was just like basically creating a play for himself where he controlled the characters And he was just doing it to pass the time. Yeah, it's like Hank. Yeah. Yeah, it was definitely hanky though because Hickey, you know, I have the ability to ability to search those keywords and things like what's the first thing you would search Like who's talking shit about me, right? He probably like backwards stumbled into it like was like oh this guy's talking a lot of shit about me and then it was he was Oh, wait, he even responded to a hinky tweet saying how's that? How's the Stanford job going? Oh, wow Like like he was going and and here's the craziest part

The fact that Brian Colangelo got he almost got got like a year ago Someone someone replied to one of his tweets being like is this Brian the fact that he doesn't just throw his phone in the ocean at that Moment and be like holy shit. I really got close there So so what is this investigation gonna be like it's gonna be hey? Did you do it and he'll be like no and they'll be like well can we see your phone and he'll be like no I don't have Twitter. I don't yeah. I don't even have a phone. Yeah No, I was saying that what the six should do is put him up against like a put a stress test or

Lie detector test and just sit there and make fun of his collar for like 20 minutes until he cracks You know mad. It's a fucking fine. It's a no collar. It's a totally normal collar I'm not mad about the collar. So you ready for my stay woke. Yeah So there was a couple stay wokes that were going around Danny Angel was one of them That Danny Angel created the whole thing because he doesn't want LeBron to go to the Sixers. Okay. I'm actually gonna go the opposite way I Think someone inside the Sixers organization Created these accounts To get rid of Brian Colangelo so that LeBron would come to the Sixers and here's why his father Jerry Colangelo

Who's been in the biz forever? He was head of USA basketball for a long time Mm-hmm He and LeBron had a couple dust ups because Jerry Colangelo would question LeBron's loyalty to USA basketball United States commitment He would say like in 2010 which was not an Olympic year He was like well if you don't play in Turkey and like the FIBA World Cup or whatever You're not committed to this team LeBron's like fuck that dude. I want to have my summer for once Yeah, so they had a couple of those just family dust ups going on. That's like

Chris Christie keeps getting dragged by Donald Trump right he put Jared Kushner's dad in prison, right? So it's like the same thing right so there's like there's a history there So I think if if Brian Colangelo didn't do it He should write that book by the way if I did it Mm-hmm, here's how I would have created my five burner accounts, but if he didn't do it I think someone in the Sixers organization did it so that they could fire him and LeBron be like alright that assholes gone I'm coming of Sixers. Hmm. I mean I Would be woke on the fact that it could be Dan Gilbert if Dan Gilbert wasn't so fucking stupid right

This would be a great thing for him to have done But but that doesn't that wouldn't make sense because I think I think LeBron probably hates Brian You think he hates Colangelo, but Dan Gilbert is probably too dumb to know that yes And so he was like I'm just gonna create a lot of chaos yeah, Philadelphia Yes LeBron will stay away from chaos. Yes, but people are saying that if they fire Colangelo They can just bring in David Griffin, which is what LeBron wants right? That's why yeah That's even more my point, but he had so I think that's why I think it was thinking I don't think it was the enemy being Yeah, I know someone inside listen. It was Brian Colangelo, but I'm just getting woke here like obviously the guy is like

Live tweeting University of Chicago basketball games and getting upset about his collar size like obviously it's him God, I can't I can't fucking wait to track down some NFL GM's Yes, yeah, I mean at least they're probably really boring. Yeah, at least Godel used his wife's account Yeah, like that was a smart good. How the fact that Godel is actually the smartest of all burner counts is insane There's no way you can keep up like we tried to keep up that fake minor league account to go a reveal Well, yeah, I spelled you have to have this one I did the Montana Missouri Montana Yeah, that was a burner account for four years It's insane. God unless it's you we got it. Listen, it's insane all hands on deck

I'm calling the award-winning listeners to task Roll call front and center a very important task force for you. Yes fine. Jerry Jones burner account. Mmm. Is you better fucking burn? Yeah, I'm sure Jerry Jones. I'm sure he's got a burner He's got a phone that only has Twitter on it and that's like he thinks Twitter is just that phone Yes, but he's got a Twitter account. Twitter is inside that phone. Yes. This is my Twitter Is the one I have all the pictures of this video here. This is on. Yeah, I got a Twitter phone It's a new Twitter phone. You got it not many people have it and he like doesn't follow anyone I need Jerry Jones Twitter account. This whole story is crazy though. Here's the quote though that I looked up

This was from LeBron in 2010 I'm not trying to bash Jerry or anything like that because he's a good guy and I respect him I don't respect that because of the commitment. We've all given to the USA right off the bat We didn't second-guess it at all if we're jeopardizing being in London. What can we do? So he Whenever you start a sentence, I don't want to bash you're bashing. Mm-hmm. So he hates the Kalangels I also like that the whole feud is over like hey, I'd like a summer vacation. Mm-hmm. Yeah, he's in college Yeah, you didn't go to a LeBron. Maybe if you want summer vacation, you should be on to college Yeah, get a little internship and yeah, nothing also. Mm-hmm. So I don't know like where do you guys they got to fire him? Obviously

What like what is the future of sports and burner accounts? You just promote him to general manager emeritus and you just like give him a paycheck to go live in the mountains Yeah, or you actually have him run the team official Twitter as Eric, Jr. That was it that was the name that he used and he used like the craziest fucking thing. Yeah, there were stupid names My favorite takeaway from this is what Darren Ravel thinks of all this mess his main takeaway was This is what happens when you don't have adequate budget to train team officials and social media Because if if if quit if Kalangelo had sat in like a six-hour Social media awareness seminar like run out of an airport holiday in yeah by some guy

That's like 25 years old Then he would not have ever come up with five burner Twitter accounts to harass his players the organization and just random people on Twitter If that's what the problem is they had had a PowerPoint that said hey this random egg on Twitter makes fun of your collar What do you do? Yeah, and walked him through the steps a little role play a case study on what to do You know, we might not have done it. We should we should send Billy football social media presentation to Calangelo Yes, that could have saved it all yeah, all right, so that's the Calangelo stuff and that wasn't even like there was another huge moment last night It was It's pretty funny that we started the show being like wow no news today

We're the hardest-working guys in business and all this happened the second big news is Drake first push a tee So shit got crazy Hank. Why don't you tell us a little recap of what's going on? Drake and push a team and beefing for a long time. Mm-hmm Going back to push a tee beefing with like Lil Wayne and Birdman who were Drake's like brought Drake up Fouched for him when he was younger and stuff on on de grassy Drake was on de grassy and then came up through young money with Birdman and Lil Wayne basically like mm-hmm gave him respect in the rap game, but push a tee like I had beef with all them going way back Drake released I think push a tee said something first about Drake ghost riding

Which is like the same thing meek mill and him gotten the beef about three years ago. Yeah, doesn't everyone goes right? Yeah, okay, so it's still so it wasn't it was like kind of a shop And not really a shot and then Drake did a diss track basically shitting on push a tee because he doesn't really sell drugs I'd like which is like push a tee that's an ultimate burn. Yeah, it's a big burn. It's coming from known Huge-time drug dealer Drake. Yeah, you don't say my felony dude Street badass Drake But then what like really set it off is that he named up his fiance. Oh, don't do that Yeah, he discredited his drug dealing named dropped his fiance and then push a tee It's one for the jugular so now correct me if I'm wrong

But I saw I saw a few of the things that push a tee went at Drake for oh, he went hard So Drake name dropped his fiance and then push a tee just said fuck it. I'm just gonna go for you Yeah, scorcher. So he said hey Drake your best friend has MS as good a die has multiple sclerosis Yeah, if you have multiple sclerosis, you don't have one though. Mm-hmm. So not that bad Yep, then there was your mom your dad never loved your mom your dad left when you're five Yeah, your mom was single her whole life because no one loved her like shit. Yeah, okay? And then the other thing was what you have a you have a baby with porn star. Yeah, by the way That's actually not a diss. Yeah, you know, well because he should have included that last one

No, he's not taking care of he's not taking care of the kid and he's like pretending the kid doesn't exist He tried he told the porn star to get an abortion and when she wouldn't he was like fine Fuck it like Drake who's got millions and millions and millions of dollars is Basically a scumbag dad. He's like, I know you're just doing this for money. Yeah Yeah, okay. Well, I'm on record the first two things play. I think those the MS And your mom no one loves her today's world plays today's world I mean he's the guy push a T is the kid everyone knew in like middle school when your ball busting is like I hope your mom gets cancer dies. Mm-hmm. And we're like, okay, dude

That was a little too far things that that kid was always the one that had the weirdest shit going on in his own house Right, so I you know what? I don't want to victim blame here, but it seems that Drake He did a half measure when he went after his fiance when you just name dropper You got to go scorch earth on him if you're gonna go half the way there you got to go all the way on him Yeah, and I don't think that Drake has it in him. I don't think he's got the clutch gene Well, he also pushed it to you also was like coming at him for like him not being like Drake not thinking he's black enough right at least the album cover which was him in blackface wearing a Jim Crow shirt

It goes you went for you went for the full full jugular. Whoo. That's tough. So what happens here? I mean Drake is still number one, right? Drake's still number one. He's got an album coming out But he does I just don't know how he can come back from that because when you it's not like Push a T doesn't have anything as bad in his and no one cares about push a T as much as Drake Right when everyone cares about Drake's personal life way more I mean if Drake came out talking shit about push a T is like family Oh, you missed one part that was awesome by Drake was when he did the first diss track He then sent an invoice to push a T for career reviving services

$100,000 that's pretty good. Yeah, that's pretty good. I mean, what can Drake do at this point? I mean, well, you can murderers on the table obviously Drake has a lint roll him to death. Drake has definitely talked about About murdering push a T at some point the last 12 hours. Am I right? Yeah, someone he asked someone like what what it would take Yeah, like hey, how would you go if you were to murder someone? How would you go about doing it wink wink? But I think he drinks is gonna drop a song that everyone likes more than push a T song and everyone's like, okay Drake still wins. Well, I mean, it's gonna be ghost written by someone else That's what I mean Twitter like that's a like the whole beef is like it's it's interesting beef

But Twitter during times like these is never ever funny. It was incredible. It was incredible Yeah, I had to get caught up on so the uh, I mean We can take solace in the fact that Drake at least has his cavaliers his warriors Yes, his Golden Knights and his capitals all on the verge of championship. So that'll take his mind off true This I mean Drake did win though in the fact that Drake news hit and then Colangelo hit right after and kind of took it away Really? Yes, I think that there was actually it was a rare case of Two PR disasters occurring at the same time that actually fed off each other and they were parallel

Because yeah, because half the jokes that were being made about one were in reference to the other thing that was going right So they kind of built each other up and up and up and up and we recorded a show at six o'clock last night Mm-hmm. So this has been the emergency update Apologies, this is this one was the last time we got burned like that. Oh, we got burned on the Boogie Cousin's trade Basically, we can never sleep the internet is is undefeated the Boogie Cousin's trade wasn't even that big. No, this was an enormous night That fucked us. We almost I actually did you see Hank said he'd come back at midnight. I was like, I'll come back I would come back would you have I would have sure yeah, okay? We should next time. We should come back I just ignored the text though. Yeah, I know

Alright the here we go. This is Bachelor talk for guys who don't watch the bachelor. All right, so night one a guy showed up with an ox One guy showed up in a hearse like it's a cord like Firejams with an LX like an Oregon trail. Yeah ox. Did he get dysentery cocked the wagon? Yeah, sure, but an ox another guy showed up in a hearse Kind of that's actually nice. Yeah, it's a little an homage to Paul bear That's extremely romantic till death do us part. Mm-hmm. Basically. Just say I'm gonna love you till I put you in this hearse I'm six feet under honey

Chris are heard from an ex-girlfriend that Chase might not be there for the right reasons wait. Who's Chase? Who's a bachelor? Who's a bachelorette? We need to establish that we need the bachelorette Established so Chris are might not be there for the right read what he's no chase might not chase So Chase is there to not get a spin-off reality show This is a classic reality television Tactic is you come in and you pick one guy and just bash him right away. Hey, don't you guys hate Chase? Yeah, does everybody here I heard Chase sucks

I heard that he set up an Instagram account where it was like real lives of the bachelor before he even got on the show I got is the bachelorette back. Okay, just fell that for me CCA be CCA white girl Becky Becky Becky with a good hair Okay, so we got Chris are and Chase both those guys are gonna get eliminated. It means there's another Chris, too And then Garrett got the first impression rose he's the front-runner, but it also came out today that he has a very problematic social media history Like he and Kurt Schilling run in the same circle of memes He's a meme pet. Yeah Conservative mean well if he retweets the meme did he say it he's actually only just liking them Okay, so problematic likes. Yeah, does this bio say likes are not endorsements

People think it's probably well, and that's also that's also more on Jack than than Garrett because he made likes like the new retweet Mm-hmm. That's kind of bullshit. Mm-hmm. I just want to like, you know Let Ted Cruz like his porn in peace. Let me like my yoga pants pictures. Yeah, don't judge me for it. Come on Oh, is that it? That's it Wow, so so wait Okay, so one guy is is bad online. Yep. There's another guy that is Sabotaging Chris are you know what? I'm team Chris are now. Okay. I think that I think that's a bush league move Oh, wait, it's chase chase chase chase. I don't like I don't like Chris are running his mouth on day one Okay, hey Chris are keep Chase's name out of your lips. Mm-hmm

I'm team Hearst guy because that is showing up with a bang. You really although you'll forget that although Tough to follow that act like what do you do for act two? Mm-hmm. Yeah, there's there's nowhere to go Maybe make a doll out of her hair doll and collect from the bottom of her drain by by his and hers matching tombstones Yes, okay. Yeah a couple plots nice plots right by the ocean All right, so bachelor talk. Wow. It's back. Okay. What is what does Becca Becky look like? Oh, she got brown hair So she's probably hot Becky with the brown hair now. Was she contestant on a past episode or past season? Yes Okay, is that how they that how it always works or they ever get original people? I

Think sometimes I get original people now. I complete cast I did see that there was a dude from pro football focus That's on this one kind of stealing my valor being a football guy with long hair. Mmm. I don't like that. What's that guys? Okay, I'm looking at her. She's classy. She's got a little like Jackie Kenny. It Kenny on asses vibe going Oh, well, yeah, I would stay away. Oh that Ari proposed to and then broke up with after the fact. Oh Are you the race car driver? She's damaged goods I mean that in a nice way Yeah, the nicest possible way. Oh, so she was one of the several Becky's from last. Oh, she won the trial of the Becky's Yes, okay. I'm back. She's not damaged goods last Becky standing. Yeah, that's actually hell of an accomplishment

All right, let's do hot seat cool throne Hank. Why don't you start? All right, my hot seat. I've got a couple my first one is zero dark 30 23 so LeBron James who Presetti's not going on social media one time the entire playoffs is gonna focus on winning the championship Decided that after the Eastern Conference finals that he was gonna do an Instagram takeover on his wife's Instagram account Which to me seems like he was on social media and not focusing on the biggest series of his life He just he just can't stop. Yeah, can't he can't help but interact with his fans Let's just hope that he didn't like any perfect booties on his wife's Instagram page. That would be a real show

Let's actually let's go police her her likes. Yeah Well in one of in one of the stories he put up He was like don't just hate it when you do an Instagram takeover in the person Who's phone you have looks at you like this and then he like flip flip the camera to his wife staring at him So he was probably like trying really hard to go on perfect booties, but she was just she wouldn't get away Yeah, she wouldn't leave the room She puts on her tactical glasses and observes the phone from across the room just making sure yeah those technicals Hey, thumbs. Hey laugh all you wanted tactical glasses, but did the tactical glasses not call the Chris Paul injury?

No, I 100% I'm on the record like anything tactical. I love it. Yeah, I got a tactical backpack I broke that news that Chris Paul is not gonna play for the rest of the series all thanks to the 1999 tactical glasses I bought in a rest stop in Georgia and then my other hot seat is avocados So esteemed journalism source uber facts Tweeted the other day that due to the high demand and their difficulty to grow Avocados could be going extinct soon. I to me it sounds like you're just making excuses for farmers now Millennial killer avocados they did the demand, but if you're a good farmer, then you should learn how to adapt Yeah, you should hire more millennials to work on your avocado farm

Well, no, though, you never get high on your own supply, bro Well, that's what I'm saying You know, but they'll just fucking they'll just if you hire millennials to farm They'll just eat all the avocados before they go to the market. Well, what you do? Okay, don't make me solve everything for you avocado farmers Just hold a big like two-week-long festival on your avocado farm and tickets are free But you have to go there and you have to work. Oh, that's good. Yeah, I like that And so then just go and there's actually no concert, but you just show up here

It's like what's it called? What was the the festival and the fire fry fest fry fast Yeah, I rule should do an avocado festival when it's just like bring throwback Import a hundred thousand millennials to just work on your avocado farm. Yes. Cool. Throw my cool throne is the Mets So they had the best start of their franchise history first 10 games. They were 91. Oh, so they must be doing well Yeah, they're not doing well. They're back to where they belong That's why I put them on that cool throne They gave up a walk-off home on yesterday and then today they announced that Cindergards on the DL. Oh Who joins the likes of Wilmer Flores AJ Ramos Todd Frazier?

Cespitas all in the DL Matt Harvey and Cincinnati Matt Harvey and Cincinnati pretty common thing to say over 500 Oh, our team has the worst injury luck of all time unless you're the Mets and it's actually true Yeah, but on the flip side when you invest all your resources in pitchers. I feel like that's bound to happen Mm-hmm, right. Yeah. No. Yeah, you can make that argument I think it's more the New York lifestyle. Yeah, I think it it makes you more susceptible to injury I should I broke my foot walking in the city. This place is a death trap. It by a dog You they also invested all their resources into pitching and then Cespitas who is so addicted to golf that he golfs like 18 holes a day Yeah, so yeah, you know that he's a really good golfer now really good golf, but I think he calls too much. Yeah

So yeah All right, PFC. What do you got? Okay, so my hot seat is unwritten rules Hmm firmly on the hot seat this week. We saw Rizzo his slide into home plate against the Pirates yesterday deemed I think someone said it was unsafe, but I was I think it was it was a hard play But you know what I'm I'm gonna enact Back in my day rule. Okay back in my day. That's just that's just good gritty baseball. That's good playoff baseball Although I would prefer he did not do that because I feel like he's gonna get thrown in his ear Well, he always gets thrown at because he's so sure he's gonna get it

But but I'm putting unwritten rules on the hot seat because the Pirates did not throw at him Mm-hmm the Pirates neglected to enforce an unwritten rule meaning the Cubs should actually throw out the Pirates today To make them respect the unwritten rule of throwing at Rizzo. Mm-hmm, and then we'll just have a throw off We'll have a throw off and maybe a little brawl. Yeah, this is why I'm very upset that the Cubs let John Lackey go because he is the perfect Guy to just like you like a goon on on a hockey team. You need one pitcher who's like, yeah That's the guy who's just gonna come in and throw people. Yeah, I I mean listen, you know, I like the Cubs I support your Cubs fandom. Yes They would get their asses kicked in a brawl. Hmm. I don't know about that. I think they're I think they're kind of soft

I mean, okay, who who is soft? I don't want to name names here, but you can figure out because I don't think you can name more than like Rizzo and Brian No, those guys. Yes, I'd agree Rizzo would fight well contrast and hobby bias. Yes. Okay. So so have you bias? Yeah, he would kick some ass Yes, how he buys could beat the shit out of rough net or door. Also, maybe maybe the Cubs gave Jason Hayward $400,000,000 because he's a good fighter. Mm-hmm. I doubt that I doubt that he didn't give it to him because it can hit Mm-hmm. So he's got to be good at something, right? Okay, but unrules are still on my hot seat My cool throne is saying group of death. Mm. So we're getting into World Cup season. Love it

And I as far as I know, they're like seven groups of death. Yeah, and I just can't get enough of hearing it Yes, there's always bad ass thing. Well, no, it used to be that we were always in the group of deaths So I wonder what the group of death truly is this year because the US and someone actually explained to me US is like the perfect Ronaldinho and his two wives. That's a group of that group of death US is the perfect team that we're never good enough to be good But we're always a little bit better than bad. So whenever we get we're the third best team in a group So we're automatically group death. Yeah, we are the best third that we're the best third tier team, right in the world Right, except for this year. Yeah, where we're not even zero. Well, no, we beat Bolivia. We're right below

Tobago. Yeah, beat Bolivia. It's gotta actually we're above Tobago. We're below Trinidad. Yeah. Um, all right You got anything else? Yeah, Baker Mayfield is on the cool throne Mm-hmm. So we already established last week that he gets it Yes, because he drew he drew the Browns helmet But he didn't give himself the stripe because he hasn't earned the stripe yet and that's actually some of the Browns are doing They're not giving players stripes until they earn them But a friend of the program Sam Schwartz Dean pointed out to me that the stripe actually has a very real Application in football practices. So coaches when they're grinding tape

They look at at the players helmets and they can tell which direction they're looking Oh, the stripe shows where the eyes are going where the face is going Whereas a lot of times if it's from further away, you don't know what part of the helmet that you're looking at I'd imagine though the Cleveland Browns Locker room like the equipment staff they probably kind of like a drunk guy putting down the lines in a highway The stripes probably aren't straight probably not totally straight, but but it does give you in theory It's so Hugh Jackson. He's he played himself. Yeah on this one played himself big time Yeah, maybe he'll get a win if he can play himself then maybe he can win a game Hugh Jackson trying to motivate the Browns

Somehow made his coaching job significantly harder. Yeah, this is the greatest Brown story ever All right my hot seat. I have two Both quarterbacks So the first is Derek Carr because there was a story today that John Gruden called Chris Sims on his honeymoon so many times that Chris Sims had to cut his honeymoon short So you have to think that he's gonna be now doing the same thing with Derek Carr and Badgering the fuck out of him and that's true football guy being like hey you have family Well, fuck your family come and watch tape with me in my van

There'll be plenty of time to have sex when you're tired Yeah, and and not a moment sooner because we got to watch this film together Gruden strikes me as a kind of guy that would say and this ties back into the world cup a little bit You always hear about managers or coaches Instituting sex rules for players. I wouldn't be shocked if if John Gruden had like a no sex during the season policy Well, like I mean the only film he's gonna sign t-ball. Yeah, you want to watch porn? We'll come watch this film That's just as good as this is poor. Yeah, maybe he that'd actually be great if Gruden Gruden was like no sex no porn But then he just slaps like the brazzers logo on all the all 22 tapes. Yeah, like hey guys kind of the same thing

My other hot seat is Russell Wilson because Brandon Marshall has signed with the Seahawks and when Brandon Marshall goes teams don't go to the playoffs That's true. He's never made the playoffs right never made the people don't talk about it And it's not because I've decided that Brandon Marshall was the reason why Jay Cutler didn't work out in Chicago. That's nothing to do. Nope. That's not it. That's not it But I'm looking forward I'm looking forward to Brandon Marshall going down to Pike Place Market and catching some fish

That b-roll is going to be electric Brandon Marshall is still a very well. I don't know if I got injured last year So I can't I can't say that if he's still a good receiver But if he is he looks like a good receiver Yeah, but he but it also will be a classic Seahawks thing where it's like they Somehow the Seahawks somehow get less speed every year. Right like what like when they signed Eddie Lacey What are you guys doing? You're just trying to get less team speed. That's a very interesting strategy I'm always going to be a little bit upset at Brandon Marshall because we were in theory very very close to having Odell Beckham Brandon Marshall and Des Bryant on the same receiving core in my mind. It was going to happen. Where's Des playing?

Has he signed? He doesn't have a job. Oh, he could still go to Seahawks. He could go to the Seahawks Still go to the Seahawks. That would be nice. Yep. Fuck that would be awesome imagining Russell Wilson trying to like Calm down Des Bryant and Brandon Marshall when they complain about not getting the ball enough at the same time is That I need that to happen. He would have to have some very long conversations with God Yeah, you'd have to take them all on a trip to Hawaii every every single week. Yeah And look at look at that cliff guys And then half the teams like I really want to push Russell Wilson off this cliff. That didn't happen

But it I mean it probably would if you doubt that. Yeah. Um, all right. My cool throne Is steven a smith because it's finals time and it's final prediction time And steven a smith he's on a little bit of a hot streak boys He's one and oh in his last one finals prediction And I think he's got the Warriors this year So, uh, he was famously six Or sorry seven years in a row. He got it wrong. Yep. So from 2010 which is pretty that's pretty incredible He's zig he zigzagged the entire heat run

So which I don't know how you can do that He went heat and then he went, you know thunder and then spurs and then back to heat And uh, but he's got the Warriors this year. He's on a hot streak. He's one and oh in the last one So let's see if uh, steven a smith can get hot I really just want to see steven a smith tossed out the take of well I got the Warriors, but I wouldn't be surprised. Yo, yeah cabs win. Yeah, he does that would not be shocking He does he does a little hedging of his takes Man, I think he's you know what?

He's very clearly just picking the Warriors to take a little stab at skip You know my theory that he's trying he's dying to get back with has they miss each other so much has skipped on the tweet yet Where he's like they miss each other so much these Warriors are not last year's Warriors and the bronze should sweep them I don't think he's done that. Yeah. Okay. That's coming soon. Yeah, that's coming soon Um, all right, let's get to it. Yeah, you're right because he'll lay down the groundwork Anything less than a sweep will be disappointing. Yeah, we'll be it will be terrible for the king's legacy. Yep All right, let's get to our interviews. We have ryan recilo first up before we get to that the cash app If you haven't heard we're switching to the cash app by now

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We're giving away free cash download the cash app now tweet us your cash tag app Pardon my take and you can get some free money. All right. Here he is ryan rasillo All right, we now welcome on our good friend. Well, actually I've been called out my acquaintance ryan rasillo I got called out on twitter. Did you see that? No, what happened? Some kid said some kid on sat sunday night who I think was upset about the Celtics loss was like Big cat I like you but you pretending that your friends with ryan rasillo is a joke and then rasillo, of course, retweeted it So it is ryan rasillo

You can download his podcast it is my favorite podcast to listen to because once every like four or five episodes You'll just get the ramblings of a crazy man who is fighting with like it's almost like bees are swarming him But instead of bees it's just like invisible twitter arguments So that's like one every every five or six episodes. Yeah, so here he is I like to keep them I don't want to do that every every time But yeah, sometimes it builds up when you're by yourself and then you don't have a show It can get uh, you get you know backed up a bit. Yeah, so how are you guys? We're great. We're doing well

We're doing really well I want to just take the opportunity to let you know If you want to repeat any of the material that you use on your podcast like you did last time Let's just get that out of the way right now and you can just hit all right now and then we can move on. Yeah Yeah, legacy updates arrow down harden paul arrow up curry Uh lebron jeff green. Oh arrow up runaldino. Oh arrow down um

morgan fiend Yeah, morgan freeman. Yeah. Yeah, morgan freeman. That's good. That was the other the other thing very brave of you The other the other thing I got tweeted at me uh a couple weeks ago Was someone's like you just ripped off resilos take and I was like what what take is it and he said that the warriors are good And I was like, yeah, oh I've noticed. Yeah, I didn't want to say anything, but I feel like a neutral party doing it. It makes it easier for me to be like Yeah, dude, like stop saying the warriors are good. Yeah, well, it's your take. Let's your take

Let's dive right into it. Uh, are the warriors a fraud dynasty because they only play against teams that have injured superstars in the playoffs You know, what's funny is I had a guy who works for a front office. No big deal Text me and show me the list of all the players that have been hurt. You know guys they haven't had to go up against and You know once it was like usif nerk itch I go you're just trying to make this list really long You know Yeah, there are guys that have been hurt, you know, but like pat beverly. Yeah, come on man. Whoa

He's a great defender. You know what you notice even better than that The rocello was someone I think I think the front office guy just showed him nick rights tweet But the reply to it was all the people that got hurt in the east when lebron was was winning and No, listen. No, that was the best because it was like it was like You know like it would listed each guy in the year they got injured and then it just said derrick rose 2012 dash present. Oh, yeah, that one's tough too Remember that wizard series where no, I couldn't walk anymore And and I was like man, that sucks the part where he can't walk and rose was the youngest mvp in the history of the league

If you didn't know that Um, like so here's what we do like we get these camps. I'm in the I think the warriors are really good camp Okay, like they came back from 3-1 against okc even though I know that they're 3-1 jokes trump all those things Like that's hard to do they played like crap last night in the first half so bad that I'm going I don't man like is this it? Are you seriously going to look this bad? You can't box anybody out. You like they're a gordon dribble through everybody nick young decided to just completely shut it down Um, yeah, we've got some people here doing some maintenance Is that are you at the gym right now? Is that the person that goes around with like the backpack vacuum cleaner?

Yeah, you know, look man, if you're going to go heavy deadlifts, I can't have you mop that minute You know, we should do an interview with you one day where it's just like only talking to you between sets Where you call us every like five minutes Yeah, that would be a good idea But I mean I try not to rest that much Those are just super heavy days like I've been going quicker now 60 to 90 seconds max And it's changed your vastly up. I like that. Yeah, so I have a question because it because you you were talking about the first half

And you not only did the warriors look bad But they were actively yelling at each other on the court Which seems a little different than it was, you know the last couple of years even you know Obviously kevin diran gets added last year, but they they look like They are pointing fingers and yelling at each other when things start to go bad Yeah, but here's the thing who looks good when they're losing right? You know what I mean? Like we do that a lot with these teams like bad body language like well, they're down 15

Yeah, like what what is any team supposed to look like when they're getting beat? But the thing is is that without paul like they can't lose that game They can't lose that game to those guys Like we saw some things with golden state, especially with ego dolla out all these games that If you want to collapse off a green and then whoever the fifth guy is Or those disastrous offensive lineups with looney and bell that you can kind of guard three And ignore the other two So that's what cleveland has to be looking at to find any way to be competitive here

But like if we go back to the original warriors fraud dynasty wait a minute. What about lebron like I love lebron I stick up for lebron, but if I want to do an anti lebron argument I think I can do 10 minutes on that if I wanted to smash the warriors I could do 10 minutes on that But all it is is these camps were like I find myself actually like almost dissing lebron despite liking him to argue against the lebron sicko fan who thinks the warriors frauds like that's the thing I don't get Yeah, no, you're you're absolutely right You basically you end up you end up making arguments that you didn't even want to make in the first place because the pendulum swings

So far back and forth Like if you just want to do this thing like for four years now the warriors are just kind of Like fake like what they did in 2016 is embarrassing, but they're also kind of like real close to maybe winning four in a row Yeah, true You don't you don't back into four in a row and now grand to look technically they can't do that But three out of four I don't know man They should have lost that first one, but kairi kairi erving's knee blew up

So that one technically should have gone to the calves. Yeah, but what about bogat's injury true? Oh, yeah bogat and kairi two great australian players. Yo bogat bogat was kind of underrated guy on that team He would have made a great bull. Yes He would have made he was like he he would have been a great torch torch passer from brad miller Yeah, I could see that like will produce brad miller Just terrible terrible like us. Is he the only guy to pack a dip during an nba game? Yes, I think so. I I have a question for you though

I want to talk about the nba finals, but I want to like kind of put a bow on the rockets and I had a theory on uh yesterday's show That these rockets are actually The pinnacle of darryl morris experiment because it's not about winning championships. It's just proving that your spreadsheet works Yeah, people get a back down, you know on darryl because Every single time darryl like when he started van gundy kind of dissed him Like van gundy made fun of his new gm when he was introduced Because people around the league were like wow, they really want to try something different

I remember talking to people when darryl got hired they're going. Yeah, that really surprised me But you know darryl's the kind of guy and I remember talking with um I'm name dropping a ton today wick rosebeck the selthick's owner where I said, you know What was it about darryl? He goes darryl was the guy who when we talked about buying the selthicks was working for this financial firm I think and then we were so blown away just by talking to him for a few minutes that we were like we want to hire him Like whatever we're doing we want you to be part of it and he was overseeing all sorts of things But it wasn't like he was running the basketball operations It was age and age had people under him and then darryl gets this gig and then you start hearing about

Well, you know, he wants to shoot 53s a game and he's going to have his his minor league team do it We're all kind of like man. I don't know, you know, is any of this going to work? Like he found a way even without chris paul in game seven to really challenge the warriors Now the warriors ended up doing that third quarter thing here again But I think anybody that's resisted darryl and there's plenty of number stuff too that I think is stupid Like the win probability updates. That's the dumbest thing ever Like look at it on the spn.com when you pull it up during a box score and you go Oh, wow, you're up four with two minutes to go and you have a 90% win probability like that's dumb

But houston showed like there's a way to kind of crack the code here a little bit if you can't add Three superstars and I'm I'm so impressed with them I'm I'm so impressed with them with this series because I still felt like Pete golden state was much better than peak houston and houston showed the toughness in the big uh, The middle of this series that I don't think a lot of us thought they know, right? Nope, I thought they had zero analytics. They they showed they had all the analytics Now that's true. How about this though? Does this make it easier for lebron now to go to houston? Yes, oh, I think it makes it way more attractive because lebron sees houston. He's like they were that close

Although bringing in a superstar that could throw off the analytics factor very much so Yeah, wins above replacement totally right lebron james would make that a worse team also, I really want lebron to go to houston because then They would like break the record for those stupid stats are like how many dribbles per Possession to james like james harden chris paul and lebron will just like trade off who who takes 45 dribbles in 24 seconds And they'll just trade it off for the entire game There's a lot of talk about like how tired those guys are

You know because they were dribbling a ton and durant said that after the game because I knew they're gonna break down Because he had to dribble so much and I was like really no wait james harden was actively resting while dribbling like that Was the part of his deal Like our obsession with who's tired and who isn't tired if there's a team you can kind of not be tired against It's houston. Yeah, they dribble it down You can stop and rest on defense because they don't run. It's two people Sometimes it's a third when compel was killing curry on those switches But you're like, oh man exhaustive like if there was ever a team you could kind of find rest against

It'd be awesome to play houston I want to play the rocket Yeah, harden was doing that move that you do and pick up basketball when you're tired and you just don't want to run anymore So you get the ball you stand there for five seconds And then you throw up like a 35 foot jump shot that is no prayer to go My favorite tired tired analytics that has been going on is when lebron plays really shitty defense and doesn't try and they're like Well, he's saving it for the fourth quarter guys It's like he doesn't close out on a guy and you're like well

He's clearly making a conscious decision that he needs that extra juice in the fourth quarter like no lebron He's not he's not defensively what he was, you know five years ago But see that gets back to like the original thing when I pointed out this year lebron's Defense is atrocious, which it was and I had like dudes that cover the team that were mad Yeah, don't you get literally keep his name out of your mouth. I'm like, who are you his cousin? Oh, wait your calves dot tv like shut up And you didn't realize he was resting Hey, by the way, another reason why lebron could go to houston. I don't know if you guys knew this

No stating But the weather down there changes every five minutes Oh care to comment by the way ryan on the four teams that we have exclusively reported that lebron will not be going to next year Um, can you guys run over those? Thanks for listening. Yeah, thanks for listening. Yeah. Yeah, it's the jazz the magic the raptors and the Trailblazers I went a little out on the limb with the trailblazers the other night Why not the magic he has kids kids love disney. That's true father four or three. Yeah, I forget how many times he's had Sorry, oh also not going to the u.s. Men's national team Yeah, is there any way lebron just takes a huge pay cut in cleveland or is that just like dan go?

He would never let dan gilbert get away with that No, I mean not only does he not take the pay cut because I felt like You know based on guys that I talked to over the years lebron in a weird way Resented the fact that he was he had gone a really long stretch never being the highest paid player in the nba during a season and so he wanted to fix that and then You know, they don't even tell like the team lebron there. They don't even tell ownership Really what the planets like they want them to operate with the fear of year to year I would argue that would if you were lebron it actually might be more beneficial to just say to gilbert

You know, and I don't think this would ever happen But go hey, you know what? I'm going to be here a couple years. So let's plan accordingly And they don't do that. They just won't do it and I don't know if it's because they still hate them because of the letter I mean, they don't hate them that much because they came back but they hate them enough That lebron I think always feels like the best way to make sure you're getting the maximum commitment from ownership in the front office is to never Make never never let them think that you're just here no matter what like he needs it proven to him every single season And I understand his part of that but I also think it can be a little counterproductive at times

What about giving them a little bit of equity share in the caps? Is that against the nba bylaws right now? I don't think you can do that. I mean that was always the thing when pro kirov got it rolling with the nets is that You know, you talk to people and they'd be freaked out that he was gonna offer up rights to zinc mines in Serbia No, I'm serious like guys would be like, oh, you know, there's no way of tracking anything that guy's gonna do and you're like Well, they suck so that didn't work or maybe zinc. I haven't looked at the price that we're trading at today It's pretty solid strong. Yeah, very strong. Um, there's not a lot of guys out there pushing zinc. I've noticed no No, I'll get you. There's a zinc market the zinc market. Usually is is pretty flat So can you imagine being a guy in the zinc commodity in like out of the bar in Manhattan?

and It's okay. I trade zinc. Yeah, it'll turn your skin a little bit purple if you buy it. It's pretty it gets you high Yeah, actually zinc's big problem is that they start with a letter z Like if people are looking up like commodities in the phone book, yeah, I change your name to like alpha No, but zinc is good because of the way it's only people know when they're like, hey, what's that thing that starts with z zinc That's true. It's a double-edged sword. Yeah, it is true. I argue it sounds more valuable than it is. Yes agreed Agreed I have I have a halfway serious question that it's it's in that weird phase in my brand Where I'm not sure if I'm joking about it yet or not, but maybe it maybe it's real

I can claim both sides of it. This is the called the jimmy butler part of pft's brain Yes, all right. Yes Are the Celtics going to have trouble working god and haywood And Kyrie Irving back into that lineup next year because they had so much chemistry without five Yeah, well, I could see them bringing them off the bench No, you know what I'm saying they're like game away. They had something good going this year Can you see a possibility of bringing those two guys back in and somehow not having the same like teamwork and same Off it's a game plan. You know what we're so respect our shitty july like sports health

You know storylines that we're trying to cook up here. No, I respect the hell out of them I mean, you're kidding. I had to put those things in the oven for for many a summer. Yes Try five days a week, bro. Okay. I was getting traded. We'll do it this we'll do it this way I'll phrase it. Who do I got today randy scott? I'm gonna phrase it this way. Tell me why I'm wrong No, here the only thing you have to worry about I think is is figuring out the three wings in Jalen tatum and gordon because tatum is the best of the three already, okay And gordon hayward, I think is is really good. I don't worry about the ankle thing

I think he's a little better defensively than people want to give him credit for which usually means you're white He's a pretty good playmaker Office screens and you know, when I think back to that selfish team to head garnet pierce and ray The cool thing about that team Was that those three guys coming together in one season? They all played in in different areas and alan really had to change his game the most and sacrifice the most Garnett got to stay who he was and then pierce was kind of their closer And it was funny to see like ray alan. He wasn't this is great of a shooter as he was

He wasn't really comfortable just sitting in the corner and hitting shots like he needed the ball a little bit more So it was tougher for him to figure it out. So if you look at the Celtics, you still have horford Who's a deferring offensive player? You have kairi who can attack with a ball in his hands You have tatum who can play with the ball and off the ball It's just that gordon coming back in here. Like I think that they're going to explore Big time trades go big game hunting. I don't know if it's going to work But I think their their priority is to keep jaylin brown and tatum because they're younger and because it's contract control as opposed to hayward's number

But stevens usually can figure this stuff out because The only real overlap you have is the rotation of those three kind of small forward type players Even though brown can play the two guard So I don't worry about having too much talent on an mba team. This league is so hard to add guys Okay, there's so many teams that are going can we just get a second star? And if you have too many like you can figure this thing out and they have one of the best coaches to be able to To kind of ease this whole thing in Um, even if it seems like it's a lot of guys needing minutes there

People forget that jaylin brown and jason tatum are both 15 and 16 years old respectively I keep getting younger I mean tatum's dunk the worst thing about that dunk now because they lost Is that dunk would have been on the video screen in the garden for like 50 years and now you can't That was a history dunk too because publicly mentioned it on twitter and it was exactly correct That was the first time someone who has asked a player for a picture and a follow on twitter To dunk on that player. That was a good tweet. Yes. I mean, that's that's history right there Well, how about those two getting younger and then kevin durant got two inches shorter for the first time when they announced him in the

Pregame they said he's six foot nine. Yeah, what happened there? All right. I got some hot takes. I have three hot takes for you I want you to tell me. Yeah, I want you to tell me why they're wrong. Okay So this is me dumb mba fan who's like, hey, this is what I think and and i'm a fucking idiot Um, the first is the warriors are better without kevin durant No, no, I mean, they're just You think about it. Yeah, they move the ball better You can't do this thing with durant when they're going iso to durant against a smaller guy It's a post up turn around he misses three in a row and then we all go

Oh, there's no movement. There's no off the ball like yeah He could make them more stagnant than times they'd look before but when they blew the 3-1 lead to the calves And then they add durant they go at least he can bail them out because curry can't always drive against bigger defenders And clay maybe doesn't handle it as well. So you can't you can't have it both ways on the durant thing There's no way I mean the three that he hit on the switch on harden off capella from 27 feet out Like that's just there's not there's really I don't know how many guys in the league could do that Except maybe here lebron. Okay. Well, I'm gonna point of order

I can't have it both ways because as a blog boy. I can contradict myself endlessly and call my baby back No blog boys. Yeah. Yeah, I want a blog boy. Yeah. I want to fuck. Yeah. Um, all right. Check magnet hot take number two Steve kerr is a bad coach just I don't know if you've been on twitter recently, but it is. I've never heard that one. I like it It's popping up Stevens went from phil jackson To is he overrated after they lost two games on the road to cleven with a really young team?

And by the way, like my whole Celtics thing when everybody's like, no, they're actually awesome and super talented Like how the hell did that happen? They're young Like now they have a million draft picks. I'm like, so does everybody and now brad Stevens. Is he overrated? I don't know man. This stuff moves fast now I don't know. It is. I saw it many times over the weekend Steve Kerr has terrible rotations and anytime there's a close game Which really is just the second quarter of warriors games that he he he he basically crumbles under pressure But okay, here's here's what I would ask

The the coach second guesser like I'm not comfortable Doing that very often unless I just watch the guy enough closely And you know rotations are funny, right? If you use a lot of guys and you win It's like really smart move made all the right just moves You know and then if you lose you're like can't settle on a rotation search and reach and that's all anybody does every time Kerr doesn't even have a rotation without a good a la right. So other than playing five guys 48 minutes and I guess the fifth guy would be shon livingston

Like there are going to be times where you have to play looney and bell and it's not going to look good And you could argue that the way kerr played looney and bell and didn't give up on him In six and seven as bad as those minutes looked that it may have saved guys That matter and that's why you know, they had their runs, but no the kerr thing. This is a philosophy. This is an approach This is a huge jump from what mark jackson was doing with this team and granted now durant makes a completely different So that's not entirely far uh fair to to mark jackson But yeah, that one's that one's so bad. There's nothing I can do with that one So I got caught in the ryan recil like twitter

Like circling the drain of fighting like basically a dog chasing its own tail because I pointed out that without a guadala There is no real rotation to have because you've got to play some shitty guys And then and then everyone said to me. Oh, so you're caping for a team that has uh, three of the best 15 players in the league Yeah, you're standing and I was like jesus christ. That's not what I was saying No, that makes you total stand means you have to play a shitty player now. You're a kerr apologist Yes, we're pointing out facts. Yes, so I got I lived a day in your shoes ryan. It was nice Am I a tool for having to google what a stan is a few years ago? Yes. Yeah, absolutely All right, that that's terms like 15 years old hot take number three that's stupid and idiotic and people are throwing it out there

And I need you to bunk it LeBron has better has no state taxes in texas. Oh That's true. Yeah, that is true. No, so hot take number three lebron is better than mj Hold on. Let me get online Why did you vote for kobe as your goat? I never did you sure are you sure I thought you did you did I thought a couple years ago You were like kobe's the real go. I heard you say that It was kobe and then beef maybe yeah, but you were on david robinson for a while too

Yeah, you're like the sixers stink and the process will never work and kobe is the goat and alan iverson is a second goat You said that you guys know what sports center I passed on the mj lebron thing, right? Did you? They had to go pass why I always wanted to do that like the game shows growing up You soft and they didn't they didn't like that a ton. Yeah, so hell no, I thought it was brilliant No, you're a weenie. You're a greenie. You're my greenberg now. Dude. This is what sports are. You gotta pick a side Thank you. Yes a compliment a friend Um, all right. Give us this is a real question This is a c-keek question put in promo code take you get 10 dollars off c-keek purchase

Give us the path for the calves to somehow win this because I actually feel like they have more of a chance than they did last year which is weird without kairi Yeah, that's really weird. That doesn't feel like that a little bit. I don't know. Maybe it's because of the lebron Now here's what you're doing though You're doing this thing where you just saw the warriors challenged and looked like a version of them that we didn't think really existed And so now you're using that going into the finals as opposed to them just rolling through everybody all the way So no, no, here's what here's exactly what i'm doing. Yeah, all right Kevin Durant is like he's getting that itch now where he wants to leave because it's been two years

He's got to find another front runner draymond looks like shit sometimes now like he you have to admit He looks at ball going off his hand. He's just kind of out of control Steph he's injured all the time. He goes in in and out of injury and clay Um, you know, maybe he'll get like three fouls in one minute again for seven games straight That's third foul was so bad. It's so bad sitting there going How do you let yourself get that you just if you're going to turn to the bench and say i'm good You can't then immediately screw it up. Just jump into james harkin I hear what you're saying, but like I just I don't see it

I mean, who's the second best player for the calves if love isn't like if it's not kevin love Give me the next best player on the couch. Jeff green. Yeah, george hills get paid 20 million a year man No, no if jeff green were an uber driver He would show up in like a sick ranger over and you're going. Oh my god. Did I hit? No, I hit I hit regular uber and then he would pick you up and he would drive in reverse and drop you off at like a cumberland farm The bar that you wanted to go to and you'd be like what how did this happen like you Like everything was going well until we went backwards and now I like the other place I wanted to go was across town and he would just shrug and go

I don't really know what to tell you man. All right. Can you give us the official prediction of the mba finals? I'll save warriors in six Really? Yeah, I'll save like something, you know a couple of the game there The warriors are an incredibly like arrogant team for good reason, but They they will screw around they will screw around in a game and lose it. Okay. All right, and I want this Five five sounds like a blowout six sounds competitive. It's kind of stupid. Give us Give us the give us the path real quick of how this warriors team like falls apart in the off season

Um, I actually thought if they lost to houston that you could have seen them Really pursue like okay, we have these four players and we got to pay dremen on and clay And unless guys are taking significant pay cuts We're looking at an absurd amount for four players like well well over the tax line And as our bill is in the hundreds of millions of dollars So, you know, we might want to try to find a way to to move two for one And that one would be somebody like an anthony davis or any player of that level even though i'm not quite sure Why new Orleans would ever trade anthony davis because you just you don't trade that guy because as soon as you trade him

You've lost the trade So that's what I thought could at least be explored where they could have gotten a year ahead of it But if they win this thing the next couple weeks Everybody's still under contract with the two reasonable numbers that ran taken pay cut clays older contract Dremen's older contract stuff's the one that's in the new world now Um, they probably just go okay. Look, we can't see we have another chance to go They'll be favorites to win the thing again next year. All right. Let's do it. Let's do some hollywood update So you're living you're malibu ryan. You're you're like i've changed. Oh

The victed you got a house now Got kicked out of your parents house. Yeah, we don't have a lot of that going on. Okay So what what are you doing in hollywood now? Uh, well, you know, we're out there. We're taking meetings Um, do you dress up for these meetings? Do you wear a suit? No, no, what do you wear? You you probably do um, you do the sport coat and jeans probably right? No, you know what I've noticed is I've gotten older and you get a little bit more successful Dress to impress no one. Oh

Okay, so you're wearing sweatpants. I've been doing that my whole life. Yeah, we should actually you know what? All right, we're gonna end with this What if we because you've got all these meetings? I'm sure there's a couple meetings that you're like, all right I'm taking this meeting, but I don't want to work with this guy What if we wrote you like a burner script that you presented at the meetings you didn't actually want to job at That's a really funny idea for you guys But it would it would totally suck for me because most of these guys Oh, they're connected. Oh, yeah. Yeah. What are you saying? They're all jews. You guys don't really get it

I mean, you're kind of in that like New york city bubble like a lot of us out here in la like you guys are doing some cute projects back in the east but you know, I mean I don't know dude you eating dragon fruit sandwiches out here Like you guys don't know how to do it. All right, just hear me out. But here's a script. I would pitch for you It's called boner dogs. Okay, and there's this one dog. That's got a huge reaction the whole time I actually think it's got legs. All right. We'll talk. We'll talk offline. All right Did you ever see the did you see that episode of the office where

Michael scott like I love every time I watch an episode I think how awesome it must have been to write for that show. Yes And if he's sitting there and it's always like this thing is going on and then Michael scott I'll do this side thing that makes it even funnier that has nothing to do with the main thing And he has this little video Excuse me, not even his little audio cassette recorder and an idea pops in his head and he goes Boner bomb and he hits pause Starring Jason faith james daitham and then he hits pause again. He picks it up saving the world has never been this hard

And he's right back to like whatever the thing he was he was doing And you're like man, that must be incredible. So I uh, I haven't really all the stuff. I'm writing is is is not funny Okay, yeah, well true. I mean nothing's changed. Yeah, can I ask can I ask pf to your question? Yeah, sure Do you think fat people get too much credit for their big calves? Whoa, yes, I do. I've I've long maintained that fat people get way too much credit for their caps I'm actually in the clear here because I have chicken legs. Yeah, you gotta cash. Yeah, I look like a refrigerator on sticks Thank you for not appropriating small guy with big calf culture. Mm-hmm now as a guy

That's been on the on the plus size at times I think I can say that but I just like you there's sometimes there's these enormous dudes and they go like they'll look at your legs and they go Got a small bro when you mix in the leg day And you just go every day your life is leg day. That's why your legs are so big You're carrying around a thousand pounds at the top. Yeah, if I was doing lunges every time I walk down the street I'd be jacked up from the waist down too All right. Well, thank you for clearing that up. Yeah, thank you for asking that. That was a good question That was a great question, right? Do you have any other questions for me?

How are how things been just in general? It's great, man. Great. Just living the dream. Just staying anonymous Keeping everything under wraps for game one. I'm going to vegas for for game two. I think So by the time you're hearing this out there, I might be in the city of las vegas Are you going to hang out with taffer? Of course. I'm going to hang out with taffer. Yeah, I'm going to chill in the jack daniel's lounge Good to make him shut that whole fucking city down Fruit flies everywhere in the jack daniel's lounge Get out of my face. What you should do is you should show up to the jack daniel's lounge With 200 people at the same time

Ordering the new special drink with 13 ingredients stress test. We're doing we have that's what we're doing We're doing a stress test on taffer on the city My favorite part of our issues with stress test starts and they like zoom in on the on the poor lady Who's been working at the bar for like 45 years and never had more than two customers in there at once And she just looks like she wants to puke and cry all at the same time It's just she's sitting there. She's like, I don't am I supposed to Is the glass do I rim this one with orange? What do you mean you want a margarita? What is that? She's done nothing, but just like open bud light bottles for 40 years

And now she has to now she has to make a moscow mule and a copper mug and she's like, what the fuck Right and then the the regulars would be like, what what has happened to the bud lights? You're like, we're capturing the historic Horse racing here of northern Cincinnati Even though it was it was shut down 200 years ago with the mills fire You're like what and be like, yeah, we have wraps to ricks Old ricks in the corner. You're like drinking away his pension and then meanwhile john taffer's turning into a steampunk lounge Yeah, hey steampunk. This is what this is what's hot right now

All right, ryan. Thank you very much. We appreciate it Cavs or no warriors and six the warriors are going to keep winning. They're going to be a dynasty Um lebron capital d dynastie vland He's going to stay in Cleveland The Celtics are going to struggle to reincorporate kairi erving and gordon hayward into the starting lineup and you still don't think the process works I think we summed it up Yeah, thanks. Thanks That interview with ryan racilla was brought to you by mvmt

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Mvmt is the perfect place to shop for an affordable timeless gift go to mvmt.com slash pardon You can check out their sunglasses their watches all of it will make you look great Mvmt.com slash pardon join the movement. All right. Here he is ryan whitney and now for something completely different Yeah, welcome on ryan whitney. He had a cup of coffee in the nhl. You know him very well he rumor This is just a rumor whit you might be in the running for mount rushmore of guests this year. Hmm Well, is that because I threatened to never come on again if you guys didn't put me on no no no no No, we're not scared. Yeah. I'm not scared of you. We're not we're not scared. Okay, not scared Uh

Are you scared of biz? You a little bit. Yeah, I'm scared. He's gonna fuck. He's a much better fighter if I end up on bumble He's gonna try to fuck me. Um, all right So wait, we let's start with the stanley cup We have a lot of basketball to talk about at the end and I know that you got some takes now that it's the same exact Uh finals that it's been for the last four years, but I want to talk stanley cup as a hockey purist Are you in or out on the vegas hour-long pregame that may or may not fuck up their ice and have the

Ice guys have to come out like four times a game I I said on spitting chicklets if you're not into that pregame ceremony I actually said you got a dump in your pants and I'll reword it here. You're a piece of shit because it's awesome I love it. I love it. I I get I get a kick out of it. It's vegas It's you know, you know, it's a show guys guys love it The only thing I'll say is as a former player. I don't know if you guys know I played stanley cup final Um, you just want to get the game going. I think uh, thanks pfd. I really appreciate that. Thank you very much No, I didn't fucking win

So but but listen the game the game is the guys want to get going but everyone else I think they enjoy it I mean the worst part for me is when they play my voice saying that they're gonna stink So that kind of sucks, but other than that the pregame ceremony is awesome Right, so if you were a player in this series You would be pissed off that there was like a 30 minute intro before the game and kind of delayed everything But like as far as the the quality of the ice, do you that's a legitimate question? Do you think that it does fuck it up a little bit?

Uh, no, I think more than anything. It's just how hot it's getting in vegas right now I think that you see that like in tampa too. I don't necessarily think it's the it's the ceremony at the beginning It's just it's a hundred degrees outside So but last night actually it was kind of rattling to see how many issues there were there Fountain fox and things like that, but that's just the time of the year and where they're playing at Yeah, that's the it's a big time series for eddy. Oh stick on the ice because you don't know what the puck is gonna do Eddie, oh really remind you got to stick on the ice because a bouncing puck you get you stick on the ice It might catch a piece. You're sick. You got to be aware of that

It's big time eddy. Oh, so let's talk some real hockey here on a scale of nine to ten How big of cheaters are the las vegas golden knights for that cross check and then also the slashing penalty? That was no call at the very end of the game there when when the caps had pulled their goalie and they basically had an open net And uh, I think it was vrana that got his or ellar. I forget which one but somebody got their stick slash So, um, how big of cheaters are the golden knights? Um, I don't know about the la the the the slashing I kind of think that could have gone both ways But the reeves goal on the cross when he cross check Carlson is that's a

Embarrassing miss call for the league in a sense that listen ties up the game You're a road team with the lead in the third period and Stanley come final game one and you get some defense and gets Completely blindsided cross check from behind and then the guy who does it actually scores three seconds later So I don't know who I don't know how two refs miss that but washington has a legit right there But I mean There's gonna be probably missed calls throughout the series But that one is one where if you're washed and you're pissed off you're rift and then unfortunately They can't even think about it now though because if they lose the next one, they're done and pfd you're done

No, that's not true. We battled back. We did against columbus. Yeah, so what did you? Yeah, this is a similar team to columbus. Good call. So yeah, so what what was your biggest takeaway from game one? Uh, whether it be like going into game two Do you see it as the the nights because pft claims that the caps kind of won game one? Yeah, even though they didn't well, it's under protest ryan just said the game is officially under protest by caps But did you go away from game one being like these two teams are really even and this is going to be a battle or Did you go away saying you know what vegas probably has a little too much for the for the caps in the Stanley cup? No, I actually thought the first in that they are even and I think it could be a great series

I think that uh, what vegas a little faster, but they're faster than everyone But washington, I mean kuznetsov looks as good as he's ever looked I think a veteran's got to be a little better But my my biggest worry is for a cap can't hopey and like listen this guy these rebounds those are not That will not win you the cup those rebounds I mean you have to control shots and on you better you got to control The rebounds better get them into the corner get them out of play But when you're kicking them back in the slot against a team like vegas who's always common has guys

Constantly buzzing they play four lines. It's just that's going to end up killing them. So uh, he's got to be better I mean, he's their number one guy in flurry. I mean They actually probably have one of the worst teams he had in the playoffs and then still to win. That's a bad sign That's not a good sign for cap the night's won with the bad flurry game yikes. That's fine. Yeah, exactly It's fine. I love the worst game. I mean hopey was really bad Yeah, I mean pft. Were you were you not like worried watching hopey or you're not done? What is going on you see rebounds? So they give up a lot of juicy rebounds. He's you're right I've been saying all all all series like or all postseason just get the ball get the puck into the corners

Get him away because you're right. Vegas is really fast chasing down rebounds. I've noticed that about they go to the puck Abnormally quickly the thing that worries me a little bit more about hopey because he's like a small wiry kind of guy He's pretty skinny He comes out a lot to cut down angles, which I understand you have to do as a goalie But uh, he's not as quick laterally as I think he used to be so when he comes out that far to cut down an angle Just a small cross ice pass just it leaves vegas with an open goal. I've definitely noticed that about him Yeah, that's actually a great point shows you know No, I'm as a former goal tender myself

His brother told his brother told him before he died. Yeah, but uh, I mean listen I was a very very Valid point in the sense that his mobility isn't nearly what it used to be So if you're going to come out and make take away those angles the rebounds can't go anywhere But the corner so um, I think he does have to come out and take those angles Because how good the shooters are in vegas But in terms of getting back across and recovering like flurry is the best in the league at that You could tell hopey's just a little slower. I'm not going to say the g word. I'm not going to say grubauer, but

But I'm thinking Give a little spark. Yeah, Barry trotz. He said uh to your point that you said they can't even think about that penalty He said we let it beat us once. We can't let that play beat us twice So barry trotz is kind of thinking next level there. He's on the same page as you Um, what about my guy clumsy willy? He's just he's just like a little deer like a little antelope on ice skates out there He can't really find his footing. He's accidentally running into people five seconds after the pass the ball Are the puck the nhl player are you trying to trigger me? Are you trying to trigger me? Keep saying ball? Are you yeah, no, I'm just an idiot. No, I'm just a moron. Okay, okay, but uh

The the safety where were they called the player safety commissioner, whatever the fuck they they call themselves these days They decided that they're not going to suspend will I do think that that hit was worthy of a suspension? No, I don't even think it was close to a six suspension. I think maybe um, You know, obviously maybe a second too late, but it was a very clean hit if you look at where the shoulder shoulder to shoulder Uh, and that's on marsha. So I mean like I was taught when I was young I think most guys were don't watch your pass you make a pass you get your head up because somebody's coming And it changed a lot where you know really hits don't happen that late at all anymore Uh, so you want to call that late you want to call it interference penalty for sure

But in the stand like a final or any game, but especially the final you can't just spend the guy for that That was a big hit by someone who completely runs people over some of them are dirty some of them aren't He's a hot hot man See the guy's an absolute man rocket as we talked about and I think that that's probably also helped him not get suspended Yeah, not good looking An ugly guy definitely gets a couple games there. Yeah, um, you would have gotten like a lifetime ban. Yeah, for sure Oh, yeah, I would have gotten a kick that at least with these years Uh wit give us some more

X's and O's how do you counteract? Vegas's for check because that I did notice game one They fly at you and they just kind of stay on top of you And there's guys ever like I think they had I think they had a couple defensemen score from Not Gretzky's office, but they kind of came from there. They're all over the place Yeah, they're all over the place and like part of it is that they have the four lines So it's it's it's never ending right? It's like every line that comes out has energy because guys are getting rested They don't have to be really double shifted on vegas and then they're so good at kind of having their d pinched down

You saw the call in miller goal. He ends up pinching down the wall and then getting it back bringing it to the middle It was a rocket put a kind of a screen for hopi So that's kind of how vegas does it and in washington side They have to have the center come down lower and be better in his own zone in terms of giving an outlet to the d So d want to go d to d behind the net that works But if you're going to actually change some things up if you're going to change some things up You got to just reverse it get the center more involved get him down low get him kind of carrying it up From deep in the defensive zone and just kind of break the pressure by quick passes

You can't try these long passes against vegas. You're trying to snap across the ice. They're going to pick it off They're so quick to the puck So you got to do little five foot passes out of the zone and then you roll into the zone with some speed and momentum Dude, do the capitals have the centers to do exactly what you just said? I think they do. I really do. I mean backs from being injured that sucks for him But he looks great even with it with the bum hand. I mean great bowl last night Oh, she was a beast on that pass but still I think who's nuts off like I said before he looks incredible His skating is as good as anyone in in this series to be able to go back low carry the puck out of his own zone

So they do have the players to do it It's just about kind of figuring out a way to beat this pressure because Whether it's the first line or then the fourth line who had three goals in the third period I mean that that's just a tough beat for washington to have your fourth line pretty much win the game against you That's uh, that's tough for capitals to kind of rebound from yeah, true. All right. So so what's your official prediction here for game two? I'm on the caps. I I mean, of course, I bet them last night till my hot streak continues But I'm taking them again because I I just want them to win I I'm kind of rooting for them in a sense. I want to see ove get up go get a puck get a cup

I want to see you happy pfd because we're buddy. We're buddies now and so I just want them to win Okay, I'm picking them. Okay. Um, all right. Let's do it NBA finals you got I'm not even gonna give you 60 seconds. You get as much time as you want It's LeBron against the Warriors again Just like everyone said don't even have to watch the regular season Don't even have to watch the playoffs. You just know these two teams are going to be there How disgusted are you watching as you see like the the night's an expansion team and the caps who haven't been to the cup in forever You know actually showing some parody in a league

You know, you know, sometimes I just get a little bit of a soapbox when we talk about this stuff for being completely serious It's the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen for a sport for god damn years in a row And you got the same team It's the same length as the presidential term and we're talking the same two teams are playing against each other I mean, this is so embarrassing and it's all because of like one player So LeBron no matter what gets to the finals sweet against boston everyone knew that they were going to win But it goes to seven. Why didn't you just play a one game one game serious? Literally just play one game

It doesn't even matter and then the fact that these two teams are playing each other again You have to watch the same players. How about you got the golden state Warriors owner? Was that true or maybe it was a fake article? I saw that he's actually said he's sick and tired of playing cleveland in the finals You have an owner complaining about what team you're playing against. You're not just happy to be in the south I mean at least he's kind of on our side But that shows how much of a joke a league it is for him to be sitting around Disgusted that he's playing. It's the same team for the fourth Fucking year in a row. That's a basketball fan get to watch these same clowns running around

Draymond green. Oh, he'll he hit someone in the deck. Who knows? Oh, was that two years ago or four years ago? I don't know. You can't even remember When we look back on this and when we look back on this in 10 years We'll probably have three more series if he stays in Cleveland and they play again next year I'm gonna completely lose my mind because this is so bad for the sport about I don't hate basketball as much as I'm saying But now I'm like really starting to and you guys like it and you guys are like, oh, I can't wait for the final You're talking about balls that are pucks already and it's so embarrassing to me All right, I'm triggered. What about the fact that LeBron doesn't listen to his coach?

Do you ever see a hockey guy do that just ignore a coach during a during a break and play? No, I mean, have you seen you seen the dives he was taking? Did you see any dives last night? No, you saw wilson put a guy almost out of the series with a body check And then gets a little gets a little love tap and then just throws his hand His head back and cries, but then he comes back to the game. He gets 45 10 and 8 And you have to watch this Over and over and you get to see the golden state fans and the same Cleveland fans and the same I mean, how what is the average marriage now?

Is it is it's no way it's the last four years and we got these teams playing for longer than most marriages What about uh, what about chris paul little hammy little tight hammy doesn't play game seven Yeah, I know and then he was he wasn't he crying? He might have been yeah, definitely. Yeah, so so so my hammy hurts so bad You can't go out and jump up two two inches off the ground and take a jump shot because you're hammy Are you kidding me? You can't get a shot like hockey players. You know how many shots are there's probably I bet you're 18 or 20 guys got a needle and somewhere in their body last night Just to go out and try to battle for the cup in game one and this guy's game seven

And he can't play because it was hammy. Oh, it's a long way from the heart. Yeah That's true. That's a great point. You make another good point that lebron james He watches his own passes too if he drops a nice little dime, he'll stand there He'll admire it for a second I almost wish that tom wilson played in the in the mba So you could just come cross check the shit out of him Or or maybe lebron when he makes it when he makes a block against boston And then he stands under his hoop for what felt like three and a half minutes

Staring over at port is staring over at port noi Well, how about if a defenseman runs somebody over and then stands at the boards where he ran the guy over And then another guy gets it and skates by him and scores No, he runs He runs the guy over and he gets back into the play and then makes another poke check or another body check He doesn't stand at a hoop looking around the stadium like lebron james does after one walk against someone who's probably what six inches shorter than Yeah, almost not even sporting. What do you do there? Uh, what about james hard?

James hard and just skip the handshake line after game seven would that ever happen in the nhl? Well, he pretty much skipped the whole goddamn game. Did you see him shooting? Yeah, you can't just you can't just be that good of a player and now correct me if i'm wrong I think he makes 50 million dollars, right? This is fake news hour with ryan wendy I thought i thought hard and made 50 no no one makes 50 million I mean between his contract and the door taxes at the place and maybe but yeah, no 50 million that no Okay, okay

Say he makes 20 million say he makes 20 million right and and you you know who had two goals last night Thomas no sick and what did he make? I don't know a million. Look at that. That's the guy who shows up to the playoffs That's a hockey player. I have one one last thing I need your thoughts on the warriors basically only having to play like 15 minutes a game They're the ultimate millennial team because they go down in a series and they're like, uh, we will just try next game Yeah, and why are they called the hampton five? It doesn't be like they all go to the hampton in the offseason. Yeah, they went to the hampton took that picture. So yeah The hockey guys can't afford the hamptons. Yeah, hockey guys go to jersey shore

Yeah, exactly because we're trashy, but we're real And also poor comparatively what about and and and yeah and poor Do you see do you see chris long's tweet after the game about how he's sick of hockey players? And they're lazy because they get to take turns and go off shifts and only play for like a minute and a half at a time Whereas in a real sport like football, you don't get all those breaks in the action Didn't chris long just play on like fourth down for the patriot Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. He was on the punt. That's a punty. Yeah. He's he's a t-bow personal pun protector. So so uh, How many minutes did you play? Yes?

So with all that said, um What's your prediction for the mba file? Because I know deep down you're gonna watch every game I'll watch the uh final four minutes of each game, which will take about 45 minutes Time out. So that'll be perfect. I'll catch that whole entire series. I mean golden state will crush them, right? That's I mean, yeah, like probably That's the other thing. Not only did we know not only did we know that they were gonna play already know who's gonna win Are you sure? I mean, that's ridiculous. What a joke. Congratulations state three out of four. Great job Let's do it next year. Number five. Oh, man

Um, all right, you got anything else? I think you summed it up pretty well No, I got uh I got nothing else. So you guys uh go into any games and go into glamour washington or vegas I was thinking about going to vegas. I I think if I do go to one, it'll be game five in vegas I'm gonna go to game four in dc though. I'll be down there on monday Oh, dude, you better get you'll be you'll be rocking the red, right? I'm gonna be rocking the red are your shirts by now on the personal sports store. Mm-hmm What to be and um, and maybe and maybe it'll be the g word. Maybe there'll be group daddy in there

Just kicking kicking the pill away He won't be kicking the pill back into the slot like the whole dog No, he's gonna be he's gonna be catching that ball. Hang on to ball ball security is important in the nhl too. Yes Yeah, big time big time ball security is big time And you know what if we get vegas in washington four years in a row I'm quitting this entire hockey business as well. Wow. Okay. Okay. All right. I'm done. I'm done. I'll Okay, you've heard it here first. All right, ryan whitney. Thank you. Good luck on Your bid to become a mount rushmore guest

Be a real shame if didn't happen be a real shame Pft don't fuck with me right now, buddy. No, I'll be a real shame. You guys later. Be a real shame. All right. See you That interview was brought to you by Hubble contacts. Are you tired of overpaying for uncomfortable contact lenses? Do you over wear your contact lenses to save money? Well, guess what Hubble can straighten you out? They're a great company What if I told you that you can get a fresh pair of lenses for every single day for less 60 contacts for 30 bucks do the math. That's a dollar a day. That's half the price of other brands Go to hubble contacts.com and get your first two weeks for free. I am sick of overpaying for contact lenses

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All right, let's do some segments. We're not doing segments actually today We have our good friend ron angelo palantonio of pup punk fame of wrote uh half of drink paint fame Of battle rap fame, you know him And we brought him on because we're going to do some half baked ideas Also, uh, three out of four of us are half baked one of us isn't you got to decide who isn't guess who's not baked

It's baked roulette. Yeah. Whoo All right, who wants to start with ideas who wants to start with ideas? P.f.d. Why don't you go because you're not high. I'll go first. Um, my first one. This is actually a really good idea Um, it's so if one of us on the show has a team that loses the Stanley Cup finals Uh, the segment's called cash me outside. How about that? Okay, so cash me instead of catch me Okay, and you just you stand outside on a street and then you give him all the money that's in your wallet I like that one to kind of take a little bit of this thing off

Yeah, take a little bit hypothetically if somebody in this podcast loses the Stanley Cup Yeah, so so ron would have to give us money because we're all cashed me outside. How about that? Oh, so you you get people's money or people people people take your money. Well, I'm not saying me I'm just saying hypothetically if you had a if you had a taffer was in the building right if john taffer was in the building And he lost we just give him whatever money's in her pocket Yeah, now I understand and I feel like I've also outed myself as being the the not a person who's not half baked Okay, what else you got? Are we going to go snake? Oh you want to go snake? Let's go snake. All right. I have I yeah, I have enough ideas for snake

I've like I brought like 20. I didn't know I asked this morning what I needed and uh, you know, let's have ron start Ron, you get us going then. Do you want just just one? No, just give us a give us your top three ideas And then we'll go back to see these are just the first three on the list. They're not necessarily my best three First one nostalgically flavored beverages Oh, uh, uh crystal Pepsi right beverages that taste like the past. Oh, so like, uh, um Boners and math class. Mm-hmm. Right. Oh like library books soda So uh, Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee sex tape soda. Mm. That's good. I like that sounds good. Yeah Uh, when you go to a city a traffic app that gives you directions in that city's accent

Oh, that's really good. Siri for accents. Uh-huh. So you go to chicago and you get a little bit of uh You go left on the down right give us give us the filly Yeah, just go down a broad street take off don't pass y'all and uh, you take that straight down to uh front street You should be go down there. All right. I like that tongue stickers or tattoos Coolest way to take a picture is going like But imagine if you had something on your tongue that people could see and we make it lsd and we sell it for an option tabs Yeah, I love what you could just do that with an app just like do a filter It just puts a picture on your tongue. Yeah, that sounds really cool

Yeah, real good for people who are too much too big of pussies to get tongue tattoos. Sell it to instagram for a billion dollars Okay. Oh by the way, we should have had a disclaimer any idea that is said here You cannot make it unless you give us a million dollars rich. Hank. Do you have a couple ideas? I got one that's like a game show So like all the internet beasts that pop up like when Woe vicky and bad bobby are beefing with each other It would be like a moderated debate That would be determined by the amount of likes like you would have the fans and people watching

Liking based off what the people are saying and that's how it gets judged And that becomes a place for all internet beasts to come to the court of public opinion. Yes Yes, sounds like what's her name so kangaroo. It sounds like gredivan sustenance the apology app Yeah, vote yes or no. By the way, there are a few bugs in that app. I noticed recently. They stole all your data Uh, I had one um Hall of Fame for average dudes. I think we need a hall of fame for us I've been saying that there needs to be a hall of very good. Yeah, but it's just like

But you can only get into it if you prove like your like I took I took all of my sick days and I wasn't actually sick for like six consecutive years. That's hall of fame numbers So it's like how much time can you burn at work? That could get you in the hall of fame of average dudes. It's the old age old question. Yeah, you had longevity But like would you rather take someone that was very very average for a short period of time? Yeah, or a guy that was kind of average for a long period Yeah, a guy who like just never showed like who got the job and just never showed up for a month until he got fired That's pretty great right there. That's a hell of a career

So it might be able to cook steaks, but if you can eat hot pockets every single day for an entire summer That's something to hang your head on so I had a spin off of that And I think we actually could do this because like brooklyn you could probably pass off anything as art But we should do an art installation of doodles So like you like you can call it what you were doing like so that like 50s 50 superman s is written during an hr meeting. I wanted to kill myself Okay, so I like the concept but I think you need to kind of like leave it open for the viewer to interpret it Okay, so like a rorschach test right at the inkblot

So you just show them what the doodles are and then people have to figure out what you were doing What the meeting was what the meeting was while you're making those looks like Oh, he was definitely getting fired in this one because it's just a picture of his boss with a crosshair at all Yeah, like look at here's 43 d boxes. Yeah, he was probably muted on a conference call. Yeah, like that's yeah, that's I like that Okay, doodle interpretation. Yeah doodle interpretation that actually could be I think that could be a like game show That sounds like a twitter account to me though. You just you do you only tweet out pictures And then get the ratio going on a lot of replies. Whoever sets that up owes a million. No. No, we're setting that up If anybody fucking retweets or likes a doodle interpretation, you get off the feed. It's only for replies

Yes, we need to set that up before anyone else. You know what? Maybe we'll have someone else set it up. Maybe we maybe we use uh The old billy football account or the uh, tommy gucci will do tommy gucci was hot, dude It was hot was about seven hours. Yeah. All right. Yeah, let's change it. Let's change tommy gucci to Doodle interpretations dude. Yeah, well, it's got to be a better name though uh Doodle dandies do finally guys for doodles. Nice. I like that golden doodles Oh, we could pick up. Yeah, and we could just do like hashtag ad hashtag

Uh dog food hashtag like dog Instagram Yeah, like one one out of every like nine or ten tweets will just be a really cute dog just to get her engaged No, but you have to do doodles if you've why if you've looked at the dog accounts on instagram They put like 400 hashtags on each post. Yeah. All right. We're gonna do that that one Let's keep it and we'll just tweet out our own doodles every day. We'll put a pin in that one. Yeah, okay Roan, what do you got? I got uh, so a couple more uh Eyelash transplants that would be for the ladies Uh, so instead of just constantly buying eyelashes, uh, maybe a comfy way to pull back your your neck fat

Or just like a neck girdle you ever pull back your neck fat your skate face looks skinnier So like uh, just uh, maybe just bobby pins for the back of the neck or something like that Yeah, just like one of those big uh binder clip things a binder clip take back your neck Maybe uh, kinesio tape but a comfy way it would have to be comfy You don't want that pinch all day But just some sort of a slimming face thing where you don't have to work out temporary. Yeah, like temporary botox You know what you could do? You could just lace up the back of your neck and then tie the back of your neck like a shoelace

Yes, like run a piece of twine Pull the sides together. Yeah, like a pig skin like a girdle kind of for the neck. Yeah, okay Also clear socks clear socks. They have clear shoes now this time of year everybody wants to have uh Sockless look, but you don't want your feet to be smelly completely translucent socks. What's the material? And what would you do with them after you wear them? You just wash them. You jack off into them like no, but you lose them. That's just a condom now It's a condom. No, okay. Yeah, just put condoms on your feet. You lose your socks

Yeah, but if uh, that's why you have to jizz in them so you have an anchor to see that's how you can know when they're dirty You have to jizz them immediately Uh, I I got a couple uh rental sons for moms who don't get enough text You just uh, they can be activated by a mom who wants to be texted more or a ghost account for a son where the mom doesn't even know Yeah, modernized golf cart design Cup holder belts. Wait, what's that modernized golf cart? Well, every golf cart looks the same Like how aren't we tired of having this same old beige top like regular bottom golf carts Why not something cool? Why not something edgy? Maybe it's not maybe they're they're uh, like they look like a maserati

Or a ferrari or something like that or a Jeep Wrangler Jeep Wrangler golf car the h2 was the best design car ever. Why can't we go back to that? I like that idea I think we need uh non-negotiable exhibit to be the face. Oh sure, of course You like golf and so I've made you a golf cart that you can drive on a golf course I heard you like I heard you like fish. So I made your entire truck into an aquarium that doesn't actually drive It's just going to smell like fish Alex Zibbit Jones new character i'm working on uh, all right, uh, I got another one i'll throw out there I I have two apps one is an app that lets you reserve seats at the bar

Feel like that should be that should exist that would also lead to a lot of bar fights too A lot of bar fights, but I mean what you can reserve a dinner table. I've got my app right I used my app. You should have planned ahead. It's a good one. I satty. I had a I had a really good one today. Um, so Everyone who loses a job for being racist like rosanne bar Everyone that gets fired for being racist should go on a reality show together They should make a reality show called like racism island. I love racism. I yeah, I want it like contained Okay, so racism are just that's just basically nantucket. Yeah, but just we call it racism island And everybody lives on there who gets fired for being extremely racist

And then you take all the money that the show generates and then you Donate it to make like a scholarship fund for minorities. So you don't feel guilty about like that But you still get to watch these racist lunatics. How do you win at each other by being the most racist or being the least racist? That's a great question. I haven't I haven't figured that part out I'd say the winner is the best dog whistler like you have you have to be like racist enough, but Not racist enough that you would get fired No, no the winner is the first person to get fired for being too racist From the show that you go to for being fired because you're racist. Yeah

This vh1 would do this. So it's a race almost. It's like the racist race. It's amazing. It's the amazing racist. Yeah That's actually yeah, that's we're doing that. Okay. All right I had one other app and then I have one weird one that i'm kind of I'm debating whether I want to say it because it's very weird. Just say it So the other app I had Is a bank app So everyone knows the worst the scariest thing you can do after a long week in a drinking is looking at your bank account So we need an app that's just a binary code. It's just you're okay green light or yo, dude

You're fucked check your bank account So that way like if even if you have Like two dollars in your bank account if you spent way too much money all weekend long It just says you're okay. So you don't even have to think about it. You don't know how okay you are Right. Yeah, you're just you're just okay. You're going to survive. Yeah, you're okay And that way it takes away all the anxiety. You don't have to actually dig into your financials But you get that green light says you're okay or on the other hand just something that's like don't buy that cup of coffee Yeah, you don't have money anymore. You can't buy anything right now. I think you guys are just talking about self control

No, no something different because you know that scary moment when you're like, uh-oh How much money did I spend but think about it if it just sends you an alert at like 7 p.m. On sunday night and actually you know what we could do is we could just rig it So it's actually the sunday's scariest cure No matter what it just takes you you're okay. It's always you could be like thousands of dollars in debt I was about to say that you're going to want a second version of the app like a Finstagram version of the yes or no app where like if you're on a date or something like that and you don't want to be embarrassed It still tells you that you're okay

Yeah, like maybe it's a slightly she thinks you're hot lighter shade of green when you're okay, but you're not really okay Yeah, oh, what about if if you had like a date app a part of like tinder Where you could basically end the date By like pressing a button and it sends a text message to the person being like this date is over So they can save their dignity and be like, oh look. I got a call from my friend. I'll see you later Yep Just ends like the all the opposite. It's like oh, it's not my fault that yeah from the phone Yeah, it's like a text from the program right date's over. Sorry. Um, I I want to say this

I I saw this actually on twitter today. I thought it was an amazing idea So I feel like I should share it with listeners. Um, but drill Anderson was asking about like a Hair cut he was asking about his barber whether or not he should be offended by something his barber told him and he was like Getting the opinions of his followers to be like, hey, should I leave this barber and find a new one or not? Somebody replied to him. Um, here's what I did I signed up for a grinder account on my phone and then I found the guys that I thought had the best looking haircuts And I messaged them to ask them all where they got their haircuts

Yeah, and so that I think is a brilliant idea. That's like alex jones smoking the weed just to test his potency. Exactly. Yeah It's foolproof. He probably had some explaining to do if his significant other found grind No, I just use it because I saw a bunch of dudes with hot haircuts and I want to talk to them about how good they looked I'm wearing women's laundry because I was trying to figure out if this was comfortable for your gift for your birthday Yeah, because I was like, I'm about 50% bigger than you So if I get something that's like really tight that really rides up on my butt that probably felt super hot on you All right, you got uh any more I got a couple

I'm just gonna I'm gonna try and go through them quickly a hot air balloon that goes underwater for people that are scared of heights Nice a pet chair program a wallet that is also a pocket pussy Uh, jury duty is for form this one's a little longer But it's to incentivize people who aren't excited about jury duty So uh, you have a strip club in the jury duty waiting room since there's both men and women You have an asexual stripper on both sides the first 499 people are entered into a lottery where they win money And they can carry out this lottery while they eat buffet food And the last person there is judged in front of someone but without a jury of their peers

So we suddenly remember how important the judicial process is again So instead of a boring day now jury duty is an exciting privilege full of asexual strippers High end buffet food a lottery drawing and a public trial. That's completely unpredictable. Hank's face during that was great Also in by the way I think can you go to jail for not doing jury duty? I think so. Yeah And I'm on like letter but five or six where I have yeah, but here's a here's a thing I need to reply if we all stand in solidarity and none of us go to jury duty Then nobody can ever send you to jail because you won't have a jury. I I just have not like I just keep getting I'm like

They'll forget about me and they kind of have have you gone to jail? No, no But I they keep sending mail as far as I'm concerned if it arrives in the mail Like you don't have to pay attention to it like paper mail. Who does that anymore? I did skip jury duty in Illinois and just like not as a not as like intentional I actually just like woke up a month later as like shit. Hmm. I had jury duty a month ago And nothing happened nothing happened. I'll finish it off with uh indoor kayak courses a marijuana casino German engineered adidas sneakers a coal powered computer Which because it marries tech and industry the coal industry's dying tech

I like that and I also like because it's very very steampunk. That's the most steampunk thing of all time Exactly an outdoor doctor's office stadium seating couch and finally an ice coffee curing The last one is that could work. That's big time. That's really big The stadium seating couch I've tried I have put a couch on cinder blocks behind another couch And it got you that real stadium seating feel but then it was really tough to get off and onto see you had to I in college I built a whole platform and did the stadium seating and it was the greatest Yeah, it was the greatest like it was the greatest experience ever having stadium seating like oh, yeah, come on over

We got room We have stadium seating and imagine if the couch was built by lazy boy with already There's stadium seating this couch seats two people down here and two people up here and it's just built like that Another good idea would be just if there was a way to implant an iphone charger into my body So I could just plug a usb directly into like my kidney runs on your poop. Oh, yeah Yeah, I know right the iphone is just going to be popping up like your Front of your iphone just going to show up in front of your eyes. Yeah, it's been a contact. You're going to think about what like google Yeah, yeah, all right my last one the one i'm ashamed of I

I got a uh, I got down like a really bad rabbit hole the other day Of asmr. Yeah. Yeah, so rabbit hole. Did you get when you went to foul ball guy did asmr? Yeah for baseball sounds and I It was weird, but I think we should do a blogger asmr. Did it affect you There was a cut when he was when he was like he was clicking the the bat the wood bat And he actually said quote just listened to me stroke the wood and then I was like, oh, that is too much. I gotta stop But uh this boner. I got it. Yeah, but could you matter for bloggers?

We were just type and I brought cheetos in here. We could eat cheetos. Let's let's end the show with that's just eating cheetos That's not a no, I know but let's end the show with asmr cheeto eating Okay, well, this will be really hot for the people to listen to All right, so yeah, so we're bloggers Turn them volume up pretty high. I love you guys. Gary Payton on friday. I love you I'm now realizing that I just got the cheetos because I'm high Hank doesn't love you Hank hates a lot of you

Thanks for having me. Thanks for coming by. I don't know the cheeto. Yeah, you're happy I'm gonna take one more for Hank I actually started my diet today, but because because it's for the show it doesn't count I don't know It's part of my take presented by bar stool sports