Pardon My Take - Forrest Gump Writer Eric Roth, NFL Power Rankings, Mt Rushmore Of Why We Love Dogs

Episode Date: June 3, 2020

We're back in studio, quick message off the top to keep listening to each other. We get back into sports and get mad at Peter King's NFL power rankings. (2:40-15:44) Baseball maybe back? (15:45-18:40) Hot Seat/Cool Throne including Lenny Dykstra and Dan Bilzerian being the greatest philosopher of our time. (19:35-31:05) Forrest Gump Writer and Oscar Winner Eric Roth joins the show to talk about writing movies, Hollywood, horse racing and spending time with Muhammad Ali. (33:04-1:16:42) Mt Rushmore of things we love about dogs (1:18:08-1:31:12) and guys on chicks. (1:31:13-1:38:05)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have an interview with Forrest Gump writer, Oscar winner, big-time Hollywood guy, Eric Raugh. A Hollywood so-and-so. Hollywood so-and-so. Eric Raugh, talk about his career, talk about writing Forrest Gump, some of the other movies, some of the misses, some of the ones that he thought were great. Interesting interview because we don't really know what it takes to write a movie even though we're trying to write a movie. We have Hot Seat Cool Throne, we have a Mount Rushmore, special feel-good Mount Rushmore, we have guys on chicks and Hank is on vacation so

Billy Football is filling in for him with the Hot Seat Cool Throne. Before we get to all of that, we are brought to you by The Cash App. Pardon my take is always brought to you by The Cash App, not only is it the easiest place to send money to your friends, it's the safest. We want everyone to go to The Cash App's Twitch page, twitch.tv slash cash app, show them some love and follow their channel. Cash App streams every single week and gives out free money. All you have to do is drop your cash tag in the chat when we go live so go check it out. You're probably already on Twitch, that's where everything's happening right now in terms of video games, some sports entertainment, everything is going on on Twitch and if you go on Twitch you can get some free money by subscribing

to Twitch's, sorry Cash App's Twitch, twitch.tv slash cash app, drop that cash tag every single time they go live and you could win free money. Guacamole, mula, talking about mula baby so go right now, check out Twitch and check out Cash App's Twitch channel. Thank you to The Cash App, we love them, go download it right now. We're brought to you by The Cash App as always in The Cash App Studio. Okay, let's go. Welcome to part of my take presented by The Cash App, go download it right now and also go to their Twitch channel twitch.tv slash cash app where you can get free money every single time they go live by dropping your cash tag in their chat. Today is Wednesday, June 3rd. We're here. We're still here.

Yeah, so we're going to do the regular show. We just want to tell everyone if you missed Monday's show, Erin Foster's interview, I would highly, highly recommend going and listening to it. We talked about everything that's going on in America right now. I think the feedback was overwhelmingly positive, which I'm very happy about. Our listeners are the best listeners and hopefully some minds were changed. I know my mind was changed instantly on, we can start here, the Instagram Blackout Tuesday, two days ago, that's something we would have made fun of in terms of like, oh, we solved racism by blacking out our Instagram. Yeah, Pat ourselves on the back for it, but he did talk about that and discussed like sometimes showing a little sign of visibility

can help people. I know I've heard from a lot of our listeners and I do want to point this out that the feedback has been 99.9% positive for the discussion. Even a lot of people that were like, I don't necessarily agree with everything Erin says. Erin has a very unique perspective and he's done his homework. He knows what the different arguments out there are against his point of view and he does a very good job of saying why he disagrees with them. The feedback I've gotten has been amazing. And to your point, big cat, just letting people know that we have their back, the situation like that we support. I definitely did not solve anything. I did not make a dent in anything by putting a little black square on my Instagram today, but I did receive messages from

people saying, hey, I do appreciate you saying this. So that's all a bonus from there. The biggest, the biggest thing I took away from Erin talking with him on Sunday, small wins matter. So small wins matter. I definitely just two days ago would have made fun of the movement like that, Instagram blackout movement like that, because it does feel a little pat on your back. But guess what? It's not about me. It's about supporting people who are hurting right now and we're going to do that. We will continue to do that. So please go listen to the interview. If you missed it, we will. I've even decided that after this show, I'm going to go outside and I'm going to walk up to a department store window and have somebody take a picture of me holding a drill and then

hand it right back to them. And then I'm going to hop in my Uber. How about that? That woman? That was got to do it for her outfit or no, to just getting out of the beamer holding a drill, limp, wrist it and stopping a guy who is actually trying to put up the board and then hopping back in the beamer and going back to wherever she came from. That is, you know what? It is good to get everybody together to unite and say that is a piece of shit right there. That person sucks. I think we can all agree and say that that person did, well, who knows if they suck or not. What they did was a pretty shitty thing. Yeah. So bottom line is we're trying to navigate this as best we can. We're hoping to expand some minds whenever we can use our platform in a good way,

but we also understand that our platform is to give people a break and listen to us be idiots. I do understand that I'm an idiot. So let's do that first by hopping right into getting mad about Peter King's rankings. He put out his power rankings, NFL power rankings, and boy am I mad. Are they worse than Prisco's rankings? Neck and neck. I feel like Peter King has had some shots fired at him recently and felt the need to step his takes up. Peter has always been a real milk toast kind of guy where he's afraid to make his takes or the anti-take, which is like, hey, this team could be good-ish. Right. And recently he sees that people are paying more attention to Prisco's takes because Prisco, Peter King thinks that he thinks things and Prisco knows

that he knows things. When Peter King goes to a Thai restaurant, they're like, let's make sure we give him the least spicy dish on the menu. Yep. All right. So I'm going to go, I'll go down it. You just stop me when you, when you have, that doesn't sound right because I have a few as well. All right. Chiefs one. Got it. Makes sense. Ravens two. Great. Makes sense. Saints three. Cool. No problem there. 49ers four. Bucks five. I'm actually okay with this. He's putting a lot of stock in that. I'm okay with the Bucks being five because the Bucks weren't like they, they had the core of a decent team last year. They just had a quarterback that threw 30 interceptions. One thing and a lot of offensive players that didn't make tackles on linebackers returning

the interceptions for touchdowns. I also think that the running game in Tampa is underrated. We've reached that. It's swinging that direction in my mind where so many people are talking about Tom Brady and Gronk and Mike Evans, uh, that no one's talking about Barbara and the rushing attack that they had, which was pretty effective. And they had a pretty good defense too. So Bucks five, fine with that. Seahawks six. Cool with that. You know what I'm also cool with? I'm actually fine with Titans at seven. I'm okay with Titans at seven. If they can continue what they did at the end of last year, that's a really good team. But here's what I love about having the Titans at seven is you give a lot of daylight for Titans fans to get pissed off about being at seven

because they can be like, we beat the Ravens last year. Right. But all right. So here's where it gets a little spicy. Uh, Raiders at eight. Okay. The Raiders. All right. The team that hasn't gone to the playoffs in a while. I don't think, uh, yes, they've upgraded. Yes. They had a lot of draft capital. Uh, I think they're going to be good, but eight. Once you get out of the top five, you can kind of, you can tell which coaches and quarterbacks return Peter King's calls. Correct. So that's kind of right on. That's also why Tom Brady is up there is cause I'm back nine cowboys. I'm okay with that as well. 10 Steelers. I don't know how you rank the Raiders ahead of the Steelers when the Steelers had probably the best defense down the stretch. And then they get Ben Rothesburg.

I guess, I guess you could say the question mark is Ben Rothesburger. But if he's, I mean, their quarterback play was not good. Derek Carr's ceiling is like it is like Ben Rothesburger's belly. So I'd flip those Vikings at 11. That seems, I feel like as long as Kirk Cousins on the Vikings, they will always be ranked between 11 and 16. I would put them immediately at 16. That's the Vikings. The Seahawks are always number six. The Vikings are always number 16. Packers 12. That's fine. Bills at 13. The bills should be ahead of the Raiders. Yes. The bills, I mean, the bills should win the AFC East this year. And we haven't gotten to the Texans yet either. Oh, we're gonna have to wait for the Texans,

buddy. All right. So wait, bills at 13. 13. There's some disrespect. Okay. There's also some Josh Allen MVP buzz that's been going around starting here, starting here three years ago. But I feel like I don't want too much pressure on that. So I'm just, I'm disregarding all the preseason buzz for Josh Allen. Okay. So bills 13, Colts 14, Eagles 15. I'm actually okay. So this is my 14 through 17 is actually the zone where you're basically saying they're going to finish either five, five power ranks ahead of where I'm at or five worse. Like you could see the Colts being the eighth best team or the ninth best team, or you could see them being the 19th best team. Phillip Rivers. That's a big question. So these four are all lumped in together, I would

say. The Colts at 14, the Eagles at 15, the Rams at 16, the Bears at 17. I think all those teams are, if everything goes right, they're, they're going to be like the fifth, sixth or seventh team to make the playoffs. If everything goes wrong, they will be in the top, you know, 12 picks. Yes. If the Bears have as many wins as they have tight ends, they will jump up three spots from there. Yeah. Yeah. But I think that's actually a pretty appropriate place for the Bears to be, for the Rams. It's pretty much like they have the bones to be a good team, but they have to do some things right to get there. The Eagles have the bones. They don't have the ligaments. So if Carson Wins can stay healthy, then I think they'll be top 10. Another spicy one next to spicy ones.

These are, these are the, going to be the dark horse teams all, all summer long. Cardinals at 18, which I kind of like. Cardinals, they're right now, I'm just calling it. They are going to be everyone's star. Yes. The Regis Philbin team. Yeah. Cause it's going to be like, they can't be as bad as they were last year. Plus you're two with a new coach and also need to remind everyone, cause I need to run or remind myself every two weeks. De'Andre Hopkins is on the Cardinals. That's true. I forgot. Like you keep forgetting, but it's the truth. I forgot. Christian Kirk, Larry Fitzgerald, De'Andre Hopkins. I want, I want to hear some Kyler Murray off season stories. I want to hear that Kyler is showing up in the best season or best shape of his life. I want to

hear that he grew two inches in the off season. Dolphins 19, another one where I actually like that. I think that they're, the fact that dolphins were trying to tank one, five games, beat the Patriots in a game. The Patriots wanted to win in week 17 in Foxboro and still got the quarterback they were trying to tank for. I'm okay with trusting the process. Although it does depend who is starting. Is it going to be Tua? Is it going to be Fitzy? Fitzpatrick still on the roster, right? I think so. Yeah. So Fitzpatrick, Josh Rosen, I would put Fitzpatrick. If he's starting, they should be in the top 10 for the first five, five weeks of the season. Yep. Cause that's when Fitz magic is going to come out. Broncos 20. They're, they're a big question mark team. I can see

the Broncos being a really good team and I could see them not like I, who knows what they're going to be. I'd put Broncos into like 12 to 15 region. I'm a drew lock guy. Yeah. The problem is when you do this, you end up with like 18 teams in the 12 to 15. I've got a top five and then I've got 10 teams at 12 and then I've got like a 30 and 31 and 32. All right. Here's the, here's the shockers. Patriots at 21. I don't know how you put a Bill Belichick team at 21. I think you just answered the question. I think Bill Belichick told Peter King put him at 21. That's one, that's one where you just, wherever you put, if Peter King, if you're writing this down and you're doing your power rankings and you put the Patriots 21, you should then automatically just bump them

up like four spots because of Bill Belichick. I think that Peter King also stumbled his way into getting page views because he knows that Jerry Thornton is going to write seven articles about the Patriots being at 21, 21 Texans at 22. Okay. That's, that's a pretty far drop. Now they, to be fair, they don't have any players anymore. So that's pretty high for not having a roster. They still have to Sean Watson. Chargers, no, they will follow for the first half of the first game. That's true. They've got Will Fuller. They've got David Johnson. You might get injured in the preseason. If David Johnson, which is, I think David Johnson, I think that's a bad thing because you know, Bill, Brian's like, we got to feed David Johnson. He's not David Johnson anymore.

It'll make Matthew Berry very, very happy if that's what the case is. If they do in fact have David Johnson on the team and Will Fuller for a game and JJ Watt and they always have a couple of good linebackers. Yeah. All right. So then we, we, we rattle off the end here. So Chargers at 23, Browns at 24, those teams could definitely make the playoffs. They could also just suck the Falcons at 25. I'm actually going to put the Browns at 13. Oh, wow. I'm a Browns believer. They're going back to the fullback game this year. I like what the Browns have done too. I think they should be higher. But again, once you make them higher, then you have to make everyone lower. Falcons at 25, Peter must not realize they have literally a first round pick at 10 out of 11 positions in the, in,

on offense. And they haven't played their best game of 2017 yet. Nope. Still coming. Lions at 26, Bengals at 27, Jets at 28, Panthers at 29. And then we finish off with Giants, Redskins, Jaguars. Okay. Panthers, I think should also be a little bit higher. New head coach, new head coach and new quarterback in town. I always bump that up like five. What are the, what are the bottom five again? So it goes Jets, Panthers, Giants, Redskins, Jaguars. Jaguars at 32 feels low after Doug Morone cried and, and, and rallied the troops would be magic 32. Nobody, nobody should start the season. Oh, wow. Look at you. Participation. It's a good question. Who would I have as my maybe the R words? Yeah. Although I like Ron Rivera. Yeah. The Jets, Jets at 32. I actually

think the Giants could of those five bottom teams, if I had to pick one of those five bottom teams to make the playoffs, I would throw in the Giants because the NFCs never makes sense. Dan Jones, maybe he stops fumbling all the time. I don't know. I would put Jets at 32 on the fact that Joe Flacker will not be ready for the start of the season. Joe Judge is not Pat Schirmer. That's at least at least like six points. So yeah, those are the rankings. It feels good though to just get mad about some rankings that mean nothing. It is weird to have a team at 32 that has a returning coach and quarterback from last year. Yeah. But I mean, if you wanted to someone's got to be 32, if you wanted to make the Raiders argument at 32, I think you could actually

make an argument for that. All right. So that's Peter King. We also have a baseball maybe coming back. Who knows? So essentially everything I understand that I've read and it's dangerous that I'm reading now, but the owners have flexed back on the players. So the players said we made a deal in March. We're playing for prorated salaries of how many games we play. The owners tried to get them off of that. The players said, fuck that. So then the owner said, oh, that deal also says how many games we can play. So the owners get to decide the amount of games. So they say, oh, if we have to pay you prorated, then we'll just play 50 games and pay you not much money. But it sounds like the players are kind of okay with it. Yeah. I hope that they land more like

70, 80 games. I think 50 is probably 50 would be exciting, but it also would be maddening to watch a team like the Mariners are a bad case because they fell off like faster than that. But I think there were 13 and two last year and they ended up with like one of the worst worst records in baseball. And the nationals stunk for the first 50 games. 50 games is tough. Yeah. 70, 80. I think you can weed out like you'll still have a couple teams where you can point to and say there's no way they would have lasted an entire season, but at least it can be a little bit closer to these are the good teams. These are the bad teams. There's also something that I like about baseball being such a drawn out season. I don't think that it should be as long as

it is, but there's something nice about forgetting about baseball for a couple of weeks and then coming back to be like, oh, yeah, here's what's happening in baseball now. Right. You know what I'm saying? Like getting distracted and forgetting about it plus the pace of a baseball game doesn't really seem to line up with a super fast season. Right. Like it's a slow burn. Like football, it makes sense. It's a fast game. It's a fast season. Baseball, a very slow game. Having every game mean a lot might be exhilarating, but it might be just kind of weird. Yeah. It will be. We have the potential now of having in the fall baseball playoffs, NBA playoffs, Stanley Cup playoffs, and then football. I'm all in the same like September and October. Clear your schedule.

You're not doing anything. It's a new season. So it's not fall. It's not winter. September and October is just going to be sports season. Yeah. It's going to be great all the time. It's going to be fucking great. It's going to be the amount of money I'm going to have it play every single night makes my fucking nuts tingle. Okay. Let's do our hot seat cool throne and then we'll get to Eric Roth. Oh, Billy, the only time we will let you drink the only time we let you drink. Billy is so happy right now. Billy. So he is a wide receiver, folks. He caught that. You have to don't shock. Don't shock on it. Billy immediately took out his keys out. He was ready to fucking slam. No, open it. No, open it like a regular human being. Okay. Open it like

a regular human being. Billy figured out how to press a button and it starts as soon as I start reading the ad and you have to try to finish before I finish the ad. Okay. All right. Billy is always venting, venting it. This is some fucking Elon Musk SpaceX shit. He's venting his can, his Bud Light Seltzer can. All right. Ready? Hot seat cool throne is brought to you by our friends at Bud Light Seltzer. Try it for yourself and see why great tasting. Oh my God, Billy's done. Bud Light Seltzer is putting every other hot Seltzer on the hot seat. Go check out Bud Light Seltzer. That was impressive. You did vent though. That's what you're born to do. He's so happy that we let him drink. God damn. All right, Billy, you kick it off. Hot seat cool throne. Hank is on vacation.

I don't know if you heard while he picked Hank decided he's Hank decided he's going to run away to his second home, which is just everywhere else besides his first home. This is only his like fourth vacation. And he also gave us a big heads up like a month ago that he was going to go on vacation. We said we can handle without you. He did. So oh wait, let's billy. There's no chance that Hank's going to listen to this. So let's leave a word. Okay. So the word for Hank is chin chin. If Hank tweets us the word chin by 10 a.m. tomorrow, he's got a tweet at he's got a tweet at PFT myself, Liam, Billy and the part of my take account. He just has to tweet the word chin. If he does that, that means he listened. If not, he has to get a cat and no one,

no one tip him off. Please. Have you done this to me before? Every single episode, dude. What? Okay. Shut up. All right. Here we go. Uh, hot seat, cool throne. Hank, your words chin. All right, Billy, hot seat, cool throne. Hot seat in the mic. Um, into the mic that seltzer is hitting me. Oh, wait, talking to the mic. I'm in. It's here. There you go. Um, hot up just a little. Hot seat. Jake Paul. Yes. Jake Paul is on a serious hot seat. I am not putting him on the hot seat. You kind of look like him. I'm like the Waluigi to him. Wait, wait, the what? If he's Mario, I'm like Wario. Like, no, no, no, no, you're the Waluigi. Waluigi. Waluigi. Yeah. Waluigi. Waluigi. No, Waluigi. He said it right. Waluigi. It's like when you

have a really big Lugi. Waluigi. Um, anyway, I, I, I think I'm not putting him on the hot seat because I'm not in the, I put the internet, put him on the hot seat. Um, you're gonna defend him? I'm not defending him at all. I'm just announcing just what the internet has done to him. You're reporting. I mean, no place to say he's, what he did was, but anyway. Billy, let's back up a little bit. I cannot take a stand on Jake Paul. No, I don't like him. No more seltzers for Billy. I don't like him, but, um. There's good Pauls on all sides. He was, yeah, he was, he was running around a loop. Paul lives matter. He was running around the destroyed mall, um, filming a video. Destroyed mall makes it sound like it was already destroyed.

It was part of the destruction. Was he touring the ruins of the mall? I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, you know, start anything, but he wasn't on video destroying anything, but I could imagine, but like everyone's basically, he basically was exploiting the protest and all the stuff happening for a video, which I, which is very Paul, Paul, Paul, which is just not morally right. The Paul see something and they're like, ooh, how can I get Jake Paul is the force gun of clout chasers. He just shows up anytime. There's a big event and he's like, I'm in it too for a vlog. Yeah. And it's like, it's like, I think it's disgusting and everyone on the internet thinks it's disgusting. And so he's on the hot seat. Um, he released a apology saying that, oh, I wasn't doing it. I

was doing it to document it. And I was like, I mean, yeah, he's like a videographer. He's right, but he's a journalist. He's like, uh, he's not doing a Ken Burns documentary. I'll tell you that. Nice. Nice. That was his fucking own. Nice. I got it. He's an embedded reporter. Yeah, I mean, you don't dress up and all that swag and run around if you're not like trying to make a scene of it. True. So he was, do we know what it was? Like in Arizona? Yeah. We should later this summer. That's why I'm low gang. I've always been low gang. We should, that's his brother. We should have, we should like follow Billy around in New York City pretending he's a Paul brother. If you put a mask on, which you should be worried about. I have a bandana.

Okay. You wouldn't not look like a Paul. Yeah. We should do that. All right. Uh, what's your cool throne? My cool throne is also in Arizona. John Bon Jones. John Bones Jones. Yeah. Okay. He was running around. He's like legitimately was probably the most badass man in a three state radius. And he was just out there like taking like spray cans and like weapons from a bunch of like toothpick dudes who are just not there for any productive reason. And it was like sick because you just see these guys like John Bon Jones runs up and they're just shitting their pants. And they're like, I just wanted to like, you know, rage with my boys and cause trouble and boom, John Bon Jones. And they're just like, absolutely getting baited by like the biggest alpha. And he's probably,

I don't think he's, uh, he's in between fights. I don't even know what his status right now with the UFC is, but you'd have to imagine he's on a cycle or two. He's always probably deep. It's good to see him on, you know, showing that he can go on both sides of the law occasionally. Yeah. So, I mean, honestly, it looked the, it's like when, uh, what's that movie catch me if you can where they hire Frank Abagnale at the end to be the guy that spots forged documents. Like using John Bon Jones to find people that are carrying weapons illegally is actually the most brilliant pick that you can make. It's like, so the video looks like the exact same street that I mean, his DUI footage was from. So it's kind of funny. Like, well, maybe he doesn't because he was drunk.

Yeah. I mean, he was shooting an AK-47 out of his sunroof, which is kind of cool if it wasn't in a populated area. Yeah. Like if you're in the middle of the desert doing that, like sick, right, people around. Use your guns in deserts. But this was also in Arizona. So in like, in my head, I just had this sick fantasy where John Bon Jones like rolled up on Jake Paul doing stupid shit and there was like some like confrontation and just absolutely like bitched out. You know how, you know how Logan Paul keeps trying to fight Antonio Brown? Yeah. These two should fight and call it, they should call it, uh, John Paul Jones. We have not yet begun to fight. Oh, that's good. I don't get that. It's a deep history. He was the cap. Go look it up. Okay. We'll go look it up.

Yeah. That's going to end up being a deep dive. All right. Good job, Billy. Good job. Way to go. Nailed it. All right. Go pass out. PFT. What's your hot seat? My hot seat is my oven, ironically. My oven, my oven ironically got roasted online yesterday. So I made baked chicken wings because I'm a beta cock and I'm trying to cut down on oils. And so I baked these chicken wings to get them nice and crispy. They're not ever going to get as crispy as when you fry them. But I, I stumbled into kitchen online. What is it? Kitchen Instagram. Kitchen Instagram. What I ran a foul of and I had probably 50 people telling me, bro, you should use an air fryer. So I spent about 30 minutes just watching sick air fryer videos last night. You should get one.

They're sick. Are they? Yeah. Do you have one? It's the only thing I know how to use. All you do is you just put the stuff in. This is exactly what happened to me like a hundred times last night. I ended up buying one. So I'm purchasing an air fryer. I guess it's nice. There's always one kitchen appliance that's going to solve all your problems like the latest one. Last year, I think it was the Instapot or the hot pot or whatever. Now I guess it's the air fryer. So I copped an air fryer. So congratulations, internet. You won my ovens on the hot seat. I love it. Can I make soup in an air fryer, Bubba? Sure. Yeah. Anything. Okay. Do anything. Love it. My cool throne is Lenny Dykstra's public image. Oh yeah. So Lenny Dykstra, it was ruled by,

it was ruled by an actual court of law in the United States that you cannot libel Lenny Dykstra because his reputation is already so bad that you can't make it worse. He's written books and he's been on the record saying the worst possible things to the point where you cannot make him seem like more of a scoundrel than he's already admitted to being, which is like the goal. Nothing you can say. You can't damage him anymore. That he's done to himself. He shot the moon with his reputation. It's become so bad that it's actually an asset. I love it. So good job, Lenny. I mean, I kind of look at this as a challenge. Could we possibly? Yeah, we could, but we don't want to, but we could. He's the final boss of Slander. Yeah. Anyone could try. I don't know. I heard he fucked a pig.

Oh, I heard Lenny Dykstra fucked pigs. Oh, wow. So that might actually get us in trouble. Lenny Dykstra fucked a pig. Wow. Okay. If PFT gets sued, that was not me. It would be the best Supreme Court case of all time. What are you going to do, Billy? He did it to save a royal, a royal person. What? Black mirror. Okay. Oh, he fucked a pig to save Netflix. There we go. All right. My hot seat is Phil Rivers and Roy Williams because researchers found that saying the word fuck can improve your threshold for pain. So, and they actually found if you use words in place of fuck, it's worse. So when you say fudge or dang it or gosh darn it, it's worse than just letting out a good fuck. Because you're suppressing the fuck. Yes. So

it's like a sneeze. So Phil Rivers could have been, he already is a tough guy. He's played through a lot of injuries. Could you imagine what he would be like as a quarterback if he actually said fuck? Do you think if Phil Rivers starts cussing, then he wins the Super Bowl? Probably. Yeah. This is his final hill that he has to get over. I'll donate a thousand dollars to charity if Phil Rivers just says fuck on a video. Yes. Do you hate charity, Phil? Come on, Phil. Say it. Just say it. I'll match it a thousand. It's got to be a like real good fuck. Yeah. Just that's all you have to say. It doesn't have to be directed towards anyone. $2,000, Phil. All right. And then my cool throne is Dan Bilzerian because he had a tweet after

everyone was participating in blackout Tuesday saying people are more concerned with looking like a good person than being a good person, which would imply that Dan Bilzerian is a good person. He's Dan Bilzerian is saying that other people are too concerned with their image. Yes. Instead of being a good person. And also accusing people of trying to look like a good person when really the important thing is acting like a good person, which he's never done. There's no airbrush for your conscience and no one knows that better than Dan. What a tweet from him. Incredible. Do we have to bleep out his last name? Yeah. Dan B. No, I don't. Dan B. John B. I would die for John B. Yeah. So that was a hell of a tweet from him. Good for him. Like, hey guys, stop worrying about

your Instagram. Dan Bilzerian saying that. Stop worrying about your Instagram and social media and start worrying about making a change in your life and start worrying about social media. Stop trying to post those 10 hot chicks in your private plane and get to fucking them. Yeah. Dan Bilzerian is sick of everyone else posting pictures of their lavish lifestyles. That would be sick though if Dan Bilzerian gave up all his earthly possessions and became like into the wild and then got mauled by a grizzly bear. Oh, by the way, if you just scroll the fifth picture back, it's him with five women all naked with tits on Twitter, which I didn't know they allowed that, but it's pretty cool. But yeah, going through old pics, this book going to be crazy is what his tweet was

only like two weeks ago. So good for him. Right. Oh, he also has. We all evolve. Look at this. He's sitting next to there's the Instagram model sitting like in his lap and he's got his computer out and someone took the picture and the headline is just writing my book. Yes, Dan. Way to go, Dan. Thank you for for taking this. Hell yes, man. All right, let's get to our interview. We have Eric Roth, Hollywood. He's a movie writer, wrote Forest Gump, wrote a bunch of great movies that you know. Interesting conversation with him. Before we do that, me undies, me undies. My reaction when I first tried on a me undies, I was like, holy shit, I have not been living until this very day. We get me undies sent to us every single month.

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me undies.com slash take. Okay, here he is. Eric Roth. Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is screenwriter Academy Award winner. He wrote Forrest Gump. You probably have seen it. I'd say everyone in America has seen it's Eric Roth. It's my favorite movie of all time. Well, that was going to be my first question. Is it weird? I think that if you asked everyone in America what their favorite movie is, they're like you would, you would win the popular vote in terms of Forrest Gump being the number one answer. It's not your wallet. I mean, it feels, wait, I'll show you my Oscar. Oh, yes. Oscar in the house. Oscar in the house. There will be. I really do think that though. Oh my God. That's

shiny. How heavy is that heavy? My father, after I want to pick it up and he dropped it on a table. Did you, when you won the Oscar, were you like, that's it? I'm good? Yeah, I actually, yeah, because I'm very kind of, I'm basically kind of shy and the idea of going up there to speak, I wanted to throw up, you know, but when they announced my name, it just, you get this giant adrenaline rush. And I remember saying to myself, I can't take this away from you. So that was sort of, yeah, that was that. It was, yeah, amazing experience. And I remember we had had a three or four previews and we were on some kind of plane home, a private plane, after some giant screening in San Jose with Tom Hanks and the director, Bob Zemeckis and the studio people. And they just,

they said that you will never be here again, because this is like the most amazing reaction they've ever seen from a movie. So it's like, and I don't think I obviously haven't repeated that. I've had some nice things that have happened, but nothing like that. Yeah, I heard a rumor that you write all your screenplays in MS-DOS. Is that true? I do. I do. It's a program called Movie Master that's long since out of existence. They couldn't figure out how to, how to translate it to use it for email. So at some point in everything, the advantage and disadvantage of it is that it runs out of memory after like 30 pages. So that's good for making act breaks. So you're potentially, you know, where your script could be a little bit shorter and longer. And

then the problem is if you fuck up and don't save it, you're going to lose it. Right. Yeah, it's weird. I also have it backwards for some reason. I have, I have white type on a black page, and it should be the other way around if you're going to sort of imitate a typewriter. You're like Jim Harbaugh, the coach of Michigan. He writes all his plays, like he scripts out his playbook and furthermore, like every email that he sends, he types it all up in Excel, and then he copies and pastes or he just like prints out Chinese spreadsheets. Yeah, this is like crazy. It's just what I got. I'm not that, I'm sort of a Luddite with this stuff. And I was just, I used to, I think Forrest Gump, I wrote it on typewriter actually. Wow. Would you say

that the book is better than the movie Forrest Gump? Are you saying that that movie is not, not even close? I like that. There you go. I mean, I think the author is a talented man, and I couldn't have, couldn't have imagined it without him, but I think I just took off of my own direction and something spoke to me, you know, and I, I know what I'm good and I know I'm not so good, you know, I know the movies I've written that are good and that those are just didn't work. Oh, that's interesting. So is there one that comes to mind where you're like, I wish I could have redone that a little bit. Yeah, like there's a movie, I mean, it's a little bit, the movie called Lucky You, which is a poker movie, which, which was with Eric Bona and

Drew Barrymore, that I wrote this as an original. And I'm not a much of a poker player and have the patience for it. But I liked the whole idea of it. And I even named the main character after a kind of at that point, well known poker player, Huxed. And the movie just didn't work. But the director, I can't speak ill of him because he had, it turned out he had Alzheimer's and he died shortly thereafter. So it was just a disappointment that the movie wasn't what I hoped it would be, you know. Right. But it could have been my fault. I mean, there's a few that probably I screwed up. Yeah. So speaking about writing, which you just mentioned, I saw an article where you gave the five keys to writing and number five was that writer's block doesn't

exist. Yeah, I've never, I've never, I've had places where I've gotten sort of stopped. But I just, I just finished a script for Clint Eastwood, which he hasn't gotten it yet. I sent it in like last week and it's going through our producer Bradley Cooper and he's just about to read it. So I hope he likes it. But in that I got stopped. And I really, and what I, same thing I had always advised people was change the weather. In other words, make it rain, make it snow, do something different just with the weather. And also you have a different look at things, you know. Wait, so change the weather in the script or change the script? In the script. In the script. In the script. No, I can't change. I'm not that, I'm not that powerful. Well, I thought maybe you're like,

I'm just going to fly to Alaska now and try to finish this off in the cold. Yeah. That's a funny Yeah. No, I just change the weather. That's, I've, maybe it's arrogant stuff. I just probably had the arrogance to think I can overcome it. And I've always sort of know what I'm writing. I know where I start and where I'm going to end. The middle is kind of a big empty void. But then that's kind of what's fun about it. Unless I'm doing a book or something, you know, adapting the book. I mean, I had a great thing happen yesterday. They announced they're going to finally do this movie of mine with Marty Scorsese and Leonardo and Bob DeMiro, killers of the flower moon. And it's very expensive, like 200 plus million. They joined up Apple and Paramount to do it. So

it's really exciting. I don't, I have no clue when they shoot this thing with the way life is going. Is it like the Irishman too? No, it's a, it's a great true story of 1921. I'm sorry, I'm bobbing around 1921. Oklahoma, Osage Native American tribe, poorest people probably on the planet, or at least close to it, or at least in America. And they're in the crappiest land you could imagine we're kind of forced there. And they discover oil and then become one of the wealthiest people in America. And into that comes every creep and creep known to man and kill 184 of them for their money. And into that comes this guy who was an ex Texas Ranger and in the first class of the FBI and pretty amazing human being named Tom White who cleans it all up. And the two guys who did plan

the murders are really fascinating people. And I'm not sure which part Leonardo is going to play. He may end up actually playing one of the killers. So we'll see. But it's a, it's an incredible story. I don't know people just never knew about it. We're talking to somebody yesterday about what the schedule is going to look like for new productions in Hollywood and what the release schedule is going to look like for the next year, year and a half. I mean, we all know that, you know, there's not a lot being filmed right now. But are you anticipating like fall of next year, winter of next year, that there aren't going to be any movies? I just honestly can't tell because my partner is a doctor and she knows too much stuff that makes me nervous, you know. So,

because I just talked to Marty's manager this morning and I'm saying, when does Marty want to make it? He said he'd love to make it this fall, whether he can, maybe it's good Australians, I don't even know. It's a odd, I have a movie coming out. I want to pitch kind of that six people will go see, but it's pretty amazing that I did with David Fincher. That's going to come out in October on Netflix about the man who wrote Citizen Kane. It's a really incredible piece. He did a black and white thirties movie. It looks like a thirties movie. It feels like one, but so I'm curious how that plays. And then I wrote Dune, which is supposed to come out, you know, in Christmas time, but one wonders what they're going to do with it. Because if you have to,

you know, reorganize a theater and have only half the number of people there, are they willing to accept $500 million rather than a billion? Right, right. You're writing machine now. The question that everyone, I'm sure you've been running out of time. I'm 75 years old with some pretty bad medical conditions. So I'm trying to get everything done before the end of the thing. I'll write a note to you guys before I leave. Yes. So the question, obviously everyone has probably asked you a million times because I know there was a rumor that it was going to happen for Scump two. Are we going to get back on that horse? No, that won't happen. I mean, I'll tell you some things that were in it,

but I did write the script and I turned it in on 9.10, the day before 9.11 and Bob and Zemeckis, the director and Tom Hanks and I sat together and we looked at each other and said, that's the end of this. The highlights in that were that he, I have him get in the back of the Bronco, you know, the okay Bronco and they don't see him. And he kind of keeps popping up in the rear of your mirror, which is pretty great. And I have him invent the wave in sports and getting up to call a peanut vendor or something. Everybody follows suit. I have him as a ballroom dancer, like an expert at and eventually dances as a kind of just because she's there. He dances for the Queen and Princess Diana. And then he dances with Princess Diana and ends up,

you know, you do those kind of things. And this poor woman ended up, you know, this way. And try to think what else to space, right? He went to space, right? No, that was in that was supposed to be in the first it was in the book. I never did that. Okay, I love these though. If you have any others, I love these. He have him. He's supposed to have been. Oh, he finds his calling in life. He ends up calling bingo on a native and an Indian reservation. And he meets this woman, he lives within a trailer and the end of the basically toward the end of the movie. He waits for her every day at the at a federal building because she teaches in the nursery school there. And he's sitting there and the whole building blows up behind him was the

home city bombing. Now that was, you know, sort of the most horrible thing I could think of in, you know, humankind and then 9 11, of course, happening. Right. Now this has happened. Yeah. So I'm trying to think what else is in the movie. His the boy, the little boy dies of AIDS early on in the movie. Lieutenant Dan gets shot. He runs for he runs for Congress and get shot and killed. There's a I mean, there's this all sorts of stuff that I think ends up being pretty spectacular. But I think nobody had their stomach for it anymore. You know, I don't miss it. I mean, it's like, it's a lovely once in a lifetime. Yeah, I have some questions actually about the movie force come some things that I've always

wanted to know about it. When force gets up at the Vietnam protest speech, and they pull the cables on him. What, what does he say in that speech that we don't know that that's I'm so glad one of the great story. I think it's a great movie story. So I tried to write a really serious speech right about my feelings about the war and what you know, it meant to a guy who fought in it, etc, etc. And so didn't quite work for the director. And he said here, you either have to write the greatest dramatic speech ever written like a Shakespeare thing, or something really funny. And I said, Okay, I'll try it. So I wrote the best I could dramatically. And he didn't dig it. And then I tried, I tried to write something funny. I'm not by nature a comedian. And I asked

Billy Crystal to try he tried a Robin Williams tried it. I think John Lovett might have tried anyway, a bunch of comedians I had that I knew quite well, they tried it didn't work. So what he did Bob was have him step up to that microphone and do exactly what you see have somebody pull the plug so you can't hear what he's saying, because I never wrote the thing properly. And it's pretty genius because he has that guy who's supposed to look like Abby Hoffman next to him, you know, the radical that disappeared and all. And Abby Hoffman's the only one who hears it says that you said it all man. Yeah. So that's that was a true story. And I love that he's just Zemeckis is a wacky guy is pretty clever. That's great. My other question was, did you cry when

you wrote for a speech to Jenny's gravestone? Yes, I did. I remember we wrote it in. We have a house in Whistler, Canada. I remember being alone there and right at I cried at that. And I was very moved when the kid, you know, he says as a kid, kind of stupid like me, you know, yeah, yeah, there are things I cry I do. It's kind of embarrassing when I write some of this stuff like, and I do the dialogue like out loud. If you walked in the room, you think I was completely more on you know, it's like, it sounds so terrible. I'm not an actor. But certain things are like in Star is Born. I said to the woman that I was who I'm living with something I looked out the window and said, I said her name and I said, and she turned around. I said, I just want

to see you again. I just wanted to see you look at you again. And then I put that in like Star is Born. Yeah, probably Cooper says. So sometimes you can use your own thing. What how writing a movie like Star is Born where it's been done three times before? Is that harder or easier? That was tough. That's four times, I think. And it's like it scared the hell out of me. I thought maybe I made a giant mistake. Right. No, when I when I said yes, Bradley was very persuasive. And I love working with him. He and I really we were texting each other scenes and dialogue at four in the morning since another you have a sleep. And Lady Gaga, you know, her voice is from God, you know. So, yeah, that worked. I mean, they just they said, I said, I'll write you a love

story and hope people, you know, feel it. Yeah. So I don't know how many people know this about you, but you also wrote Ali, which is another great movie. And you got to spend some time with Muhammad Ali as you were right. I had known him as a sort. I mean, when I was a kid, I bought golden gloves and stuff because I was getting my ass kicked on the way to high school every day. And in Bedford Stuyvesant. And so when I went and I used to work out at Gil Clancy's gym, and then the pros that come on the afternoon and I'll lead you, I would stay and watch him and also met like Leroy Neiman there. I remember the painter did all the sports stuff. Anyway, so for years, we, you know, I went off and on about and I also by chance had met Ferdi Pacheco and another incarnation. And

so when the chance came to write that thing, I mean, I think Muhammad said to Michael Mann, the director, I want Eric to write it, which is really nice. He called Eric the writer, he called me. And he's a wonderful man. At that point, it was obviously challenged because of the Parkinson's. But I want to do, you'll find this interesting. I think when I was researching the movie a little bit, but even though I knew a lot about boxing and in the movies as seen with where he fights Jerry Quarry, if you remember Jerry Quarry, he was kind of a blown up light heavyweight really. And it was Ali's first fight back from the Vietnam thing, which I'll tell you a very quick story because I had asked Angelo Dundee about this. And I thought he's one of the great men on

Earth, Angelo. And Angelo was very upset that Ali didn't, you know, go to Vietnam. And but he said Angelo had fought and I think his brother did too. And they, in a terrible battle in World War II called Anzio where a lot of people died, like maybe 50,000 people died. And Angelo said, you know, I realized finally that that's the reason I fought in that battle. So Ali, somebody like Ali could have the choice to go into a war or not. It was really a pretty amazing, great guy. But we were talking about Ali, I lost my train of thought. I was curious to know when you were writing that movie and dialoguing and having some conversations with Muhammad. Was it important to him? Or did you get a sense whether he wanted

the movie to focus more on what he did in the ring as opposed to what he did outside? No, I think he wanted everything. And we had the whole point of view of, you know, him being surveilled by the government and everything. My biggest problem with that movie, which was not, I think the movie is really terrific, but, and I thought Will Smith did a hell of a job. And everybody did. But there's that great documentary. And we started writing, I said to Michael Mann, the director, I said, I've never been able to top that, you know, that's so real and touching. But I think we, I think we kind of screwed up the ending if I had to redo the movie, you know, I listen to the movie, the movie, I think that have had a more

effective ending. But I thought we, I thought we did a good job of it for something that was a difficult like that. That's interesting because when we were kings, I, if it came out now, I think people would be like, holy shit, this is the greatest documentary ever. It came out before documentaries kind of had their boom. I remember my father made me watch it. He was like, you have to watch the documentary. But that's interesting that like something like that can not affect, you know, your writing, but you at least acknowledge it and like, hey, I'm up against just the incredible piece of work. I never thought I could top that. There's just something so visceral and real and poetic about it, you know? And when your mind's not a documentary, you know, the thing

I'm kind of proud of, I'm more than I'm proud of, the first 12 minutes of that movie doesn't have a word of dialogue. And it's just what's his name, singing. The guy who got shot going in a motel window. I forget this, but it's a brilliant piece of filmmaking by Michael. I mean, where you get everything that you want to know about of Ali without a word, just a song over. That's pretty amazing. It's him doing a live performance and I don't know why it escapes me his name right now, great, great. We're going to get back to the Eric Roth interview in a second before we do. I want to remind you guys, Father's Day is coming right up. Father's Day is the toughest holiday to shop for. If your dad is anything like my dad, you never know what to get him. My dad has all the

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Check out all the Philips Norelco products to find the one that's right for your dad style. Head to philips.com slash Norelco Barstool and get yours today. That's philips.com slash Norelco Barstool. And now here's more Eric Roth. A little birdie told me that you are a big horse player. Is that true? Do you love the ponies? I do. Yeah, I'm kind of hooked. Yeah. How awesome. Yeah, I had a bad day today. I had, I didn't win a bet today. Did you have church? Where did you play? Goldstream and Churchill Downs did not win a single bet. I gave up on Churchill on the weekend. Goldstream, I've been doing amazing because you should get these guys, Mike, the workout report. Okay. If he gives a B plus workout, there's 75% winners.

I'm telling you. And I did some big stuff recently, you know, but I think I'm about to give up playing Goldstream and move on, but move, just play San Anid. I think I've been playing too many tracks at once. That's absolutely. When you have the moment where you look up and you're like every seven minutes you have a race, that's usually a sign like, Hey, maybe let's cool down. What's your, what do you usually play? Do you just play straight? Do you play exotics? Pick five. No, I like to play since this came into being. I love playing pick five. Same. But I, today, I think I got, I had three pick fives that didn't get out of the first leg, which is the most demoralizing thing. Yeah. Now it's terrible. That's why usually all the first leg and the last leg.

That's smart. What I try to do, and it depends on how much money I'm going to invest, but I can, all the, if I can find two singles, you know, one race, this is when I'm just telling people, we don't know that thing. And then I have three alls. You can really, you can, you know, as they say in horse racing, shit on yourself. Yeah. I mean, there's nothing better than having the end of a pick five and having an all and you can just root for the longest shot. That is the best feeling. Yeah, that's exactly right. And it's sometimes like last week, or a couple of weeks, for some bizarre reason, I'm always alive in that when they give the giveaway and the pick six at Gulfstream. I've hit it a whole bunch of times and I hit it like three weeks ago. Yeah. But I got so lucky

that all on one ticket and another ticket had like seven horses and I missed, I would have missed on that. Oh, wow. Nothing better. Yeah. All you like, you can't beat all. I like, I like, this makes me feel better when I talk to someone who also likes opponents who's infinitely smarter than I am, because it's like, Hey, you know what? Like if you're doing it and you have an Academy Award, you're looking at your Academy Award for force gump and you're playing a pick five at Gulfstream and losing just like me. I think I have a bigger thrill, but look, it can get, it can get bad for people who get it way and over their head, you know, and it's a, it's a, it can be an illness, obviously. I was going to say, you were mentioning that you hang out with Al Michaels a little bit

out there. I actually, I didn't know him till now three months ago. Really. I knew it. Well, I didn't know. We used to, he used to go to Vegas the same time I did for my birthday. He would go with the guy named Hank Goldberg, who you may remember. The horse race guy and a guy named David Israel, who was a pretty well-known sports writer in LA. And they'd go, I think for Al Michaels' birthday, I could be wrong, but we'd end up, somehow we always ended up together. We ended up at the crap table together. You know, we both love crap. And so recently with the pandemic, I've been walking and I've been walking with Al and Tom Werner owns one of the owners of the Red Sox. And Al's the greatest storyteller. He's unbelievable. He strikes me as a guy that plays

the ponies too. He loves to play the horses. He's crazy. Yeah. He's a, he's a, he's a pretty interesting dude. I like him very much. He's a nice man. Yeah. He's, he's, I didn't realize, you know, when you talk to him, he first of all knows sports, you know, chapter and verse every sport and he's, he's announced so much every sport. He announced the Belmont stakes for like eight years in a row, which I never knew. I didn't realize that. Yeah. Plus baseball, world series and obviously the hockey and he's a hot, I'm a hockey guy like he is. We both love the king. Yeah. So growing up on the East Coast, now you're out on the West Coast. Are you still retain your New York fandoms? Yeah, I do. I do. I mean, I can't, I mean, I realized I was at a Dodger game

like this year, I think last year and no, uh, uh, last year, obviously, uh, that I probably is one of the few people who actually went to Ebbersfield and the whole ballpark. I mean, except for maybe Tommy Lasorda, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Ben Scully isn't around anymore. So I remembered really well. My grandfather was a little Russian guy who never really spoke great English, but called the Feewee Reese. He loved Peewee Reese and he'd buy, um, he'd buy a Apple box. It cost you like literally a quarter or something. We stood on Apple boxes out in the out, you know, in the right field bleachers basically and watched the games that I went to one World Series game with them where I think it was 1956 or seven and the whole team, I still remember, you know,

like yesterday, but I can still remember what it felt like to be at that ballpark. Wow. But that just says I'm old. Yeah, it's fascinating. You, you actually, I mean, you have some elements of, uh, Forrest Gump in your life. You, you were college friends with Jim Morrison. Is that correct? Yeah. Very good. Very close friends. Yeah. I still have a jacket. When, when you meet a guy like that, did you know right away, like this guy has it? No, except for, I thought this guy's lucky. Look how great looking this guy. He's going to score all the time, you know? Yeah. One of the memories I had of him was, um, I was sitting at the Hollywood Bowl and you have to, people have to know what that looks like,

but empty Hollywood Bowl and he's rehearsing was just him singing. And I was sitting with his manager guy named Todd Shipman and, um, it was unbelievable. He was singing, you know, LA woman, you know, I was like, I'm still friends with John Den's more of the drummer. Yeah. Jim was a complicated guy. Let's put it that way. Yeah. Yeah. Jim, actually, I'll tell you a quick story about him that he, I'm trying to think of the guy's name now. The guy's brother is a doc, a dentist in LA. Anyway, he wrote a book about it. This guy was a young man. He was like literally 13 years old and he was a doors fanatic and he was playing little league baseball and the umpire said, if you hit a home run,

I'll take you to a doors concert. Right. He did get a home run. He got the doors. That's the story. Anyway, he then decided he wasn't going to school anymore. He went and hung out. They used to have a recording studio on Sunset in Santa Monica, my drive by. I'll never forget, you know, just coming out of there. And um, he went there like almost every day. And finally the door's manager said, you can't be here. You're 13 year old. You got to get the hell out of here. So he went outside and he was sitting on a bus bench crying and um, and Jim Morrison pulled up in his car or dropped off whatever. And he said, what are you crying about? He said, I just, he just told me I couldn't be here anymore. He said, fuck him. He's fired. You're our new manager. And it's a

true story. Jesus. They let this kid manage them when he was 13 or 14 years old. And he went on to manage like Iggy Pop and a couple other people. He was pretty well known. I don't know if he really did anything, but we were going to Fincher wanted to make that into a movie. And the guy from Limp Bizkit was going to direct it. Fred Durst? Yeah, I liked him. He was a pretty great guy. Hell yeah. And nothing happened with it. We were going to do sort of a movie like, you remember the French director of Truffaut about sort of people growing up, what it feels like to grow up. Anyway, I thought it was a great story. I would have loved to see a movie directed by Fred Durst. Yeah, I wish that had happened. Fred Durst. You know, Fred came out to my house a bunch of times

and he has a son named Cowboy. And Fred, he's an interesting dude, I'll tell you. I mean, I was never a fan one way or another of his music particularly, but he certainly, he's cutting edge. And I remember him sending me, I don't know if he wants to have me say this, but pretty outrageous photographs of him with women from like, lift away from some concerts he was at there, you know. Is he still rocking the backwards red hat all the time? I don't know. I haven't seen him. I mean, we, out of the blue, he like would text me, you know, and then we talk through that and we just haven't gotten together. I just thought he was a great guy. Interesting. I want to jump back to one thing that you mentioned was the beginning of Ali,

where it was, I think it was Sam Cooke that was singing, right? Sam Cooke is exactly right. Yeah. Great, great singer. The use of montages in movies has always fascinated me because from a writing perspective, it's almost like a cheat code where you're like, okay, I get to eat up three minutes of this script. That's right. Well, you're very smart. I mean, first of all, that started with the Russian Sergei Eisenstein, a movie called Battle of Potemkin, a battleship Potemkin. He began with the montage, but, you know, it's like, you can't, you can't tell someone's whole life story would take you, you know, if it's 30 years of a guy's life, it could take you 30 years. So you have to figure out ways to do impressions of things

in people's lives, right? And so you have to condense that to two hours or whatever. So that's exactly what a montage does. And I used to call these, I don't know what they call them like round delays where you'd have something in the middle and then three or four things going on around it, where you keep cutting back and forth. Ali has that in. Is there a limit to how many montages you'll put in a movie? I don't think there's, I think, I think you don't want to do too many because it's sort of like, it's a little bit of a cheat and you start getting a little too familiar. I think it's okay to intercut though, which are almost like montages where you have some central piece of action. They do this always in action movies and stuff where you're going back

and forth between so you have a tension between what's going on. Here's an idea. What about a movie that's just one montage hour and a half long montage? Well, I think, I think that'd be okay, but I think you feel like it looked like a commercial. Yeah, true. Commercials are cool. Like some can be great. I mean, I think you could, I don't know if you could do an hour and a half one. I mean, the opposite of those movies like Andy Warhol used to make like a movie called sleep, right? He had a guy sleeping for 18, whatever, eight hours. Yeah. Yeah. And you can go in anytime. I'll tell you amazing movies. I don't know why you reminded me of this is that there's a movie called The Clock that an artist did and an English artist and they show it at museums.

And what he did was take from every movie he could find. He had people research it like, let's assume he's looking for something that says either on a watch or a clock, 1114. And every minute he has another shot from a movie that shows the time and he does it for 24 hours. It's pretty amazing. Wow. Pretty amazing. So there you go. That's something close to what you suggest. Yeah. What about the movie 1917? Isn't that, is that like a little bit of a cheat to where you don't have to worry about writing like exterior setting up new shots and stuff since it's all. I don't know if it's a cheat. I mean, I think everything's trying to find a way to dramatize things, you know. So classic structure is three acts, right? Shakespeare did four acts,

but you have, you have your setup, right? You know, present the problem, complicate the problem, and then solve the problem. That's basically what writing is, you know, and the third act, your catharsis, you know, something, then you either do it by within the characters themselves or what they call deus ex machina, you bring in a sort of God and a machine is what that literally translates to that you're just going to solve this by some magic, you know. So, but you can, my scripts are particularly long because I'm a frustrated novelist, and so it's like Brad Pitt had a great line from me once he was reading a read through of Benjamin Button, and he said, look at Eric, he's got a prose boner. And so, but I've written scripts with like the 70, 80 pages

too. Well, you know, in other words, if you can tell it in a short period of time, that could be better. What's, since you've been in the industry for so long, and you know all these movies, you've written some of the best, what are, if you had to pick five movies to take with you, those are the five movies you can watch for the rest of your life and no other movies, what are aircross five movies? Can't be your own. Yeah, I think those are hard, but I think definitely Godfather two. Not without it without a question. 2001. Okay. Space Odyssey. Amacord, the Fellini movie, which you may or may not know. Then you're going to get me maybe Citizen Kane, maybe. And the fifth one. The fifth one has to

be The Last Decade. Oh, from 2000 to 2000. 2010 to 2020 for your last one. It's a fight club in that era. Yeah, we'll count that. Yeah, that's close enough. I would take the fight club. Yeah. Okay. David Fincher's Beyond. I mean, of everybody, I mean, I haven't made a movie with Marty. We've done a few warm ups, you know, and I gave him the book of the Irishman, which is called Here You Paint Houses, but David Fincher to me is the best, probably, let's say Marty and him best living directors. David's unbelievable. So it sounds like you know everybody in Hollywood, just like the names that you've listed in the last like 20 minutes. Well, I've been around for almost 60 years. Yeah. Who's the most famous person right now

in Hollywood that you don't know? But I don't know. I don't really know Quentin Tarantino. That'd be off the top of my head. I don't know. Some of the younger directors I don't really know. I don't know Damien Chazelle. I've met him, but I don't know him. I mean, I literally, I've been around so I worked for John Wayne. I did a treatment for John Wayne at one point. But that's just age, you know. Yeah. I mean, it's incredible. You guys 30 years or not can talk about all the sports people you knew and everything. Blake Bortles. Yeah. True. Yeah. You guys are immortal. Yeah, exactly. This has been fantastic. I have one last question. And mind you, we can totally cut this out if it's too personal or

anything. First thing is all I answer. The only thing I don't want, I won't usually, I mean, everybody says you should write a memoir and I know too many things about people that I wouldn't do it because I'd have to tell the truth and it would be too hurtful. Yeah. So the question I was going to ask, and again, you can just say cut this out, but you were involved in the Bernie Madoff scam. You lost money. Yeah. What was that moment like where that shock, because I think a lot of people threw it in their head and they're like, oh my God. I had two reactions. One was my business manager said, are you sitting down? This was almost like Christmas Eve or something. All that money's gone. I said, I mean, I was upset by it, but on the other hand,

I thought the whole thing was weird anyway because I got involved. I think I didn't invest really on the money of me. For me, it was a lot of money, like $10,000, let's say. But each, every four years, you got these statements where you had like, I think we ended up supposedly having like $12 million, $15 million. But on the other hand, it's like a weird thing with, it was like a bad, it was like a short story, you know what I'm saying? But I never did a penny, I did nothing to earn it. I knew nothing about anything with financial stuff. And I didn't even know what the guy was doing. I mean, it was a guy named Stan Chase, who ran the operation in Los Angeles in Hollywood. He had a lot of Hollywood people, I think Spielberg got involved and Jeffrey Katzenberg and other people,

they, and people lost some real money. And he, he, I was explained that he was doing some sort of thing called an arbitrage, which was sort of middling like a blue chip stocks and every, and you get a percentage of it. It was all bullshit. But I didn't really care. I said, look, if he's winning this money playing, you know, games, you know, he's playing sports and doing it. Good for him because it kept showing these profits. But I thought they were kind of ridiculous without, you know, you're getting 25% on your money every year, which is you're doubling every two, four years like ludicrous. Right. So the money though, I did think was retirement, you know, and then there it went. Oh, well. Yeah. Yeah, that's gotta be quite a conversation to

have to like just sort through that mentally might take you a couple of days to wrap your mind around it. Yeah, no, it was. Yeah. I think we ended up getting a little money back, actually. Did you like, did you go and read the books or like get fascinated with it, even though it was pretty cool? I thought I just was a sucker for a Ponzi scheme, you know? Yeah. I mean, it was actually in a way, I hate to say this, because he took so much money from people with charities and stuff was sort of good for him. In a way, it was like he built a great con. Right. But no, I didn't have any. I just thought it was pretty, it was pretty clever. I mean, they're psychologically genius, because they literally would just send over a fax machine,

a completely just there's no nothing fancy. They didn't send you big kind of brochures or anything of how you're doing. They just piece of paper and it just said on it might my corporate is called Vanessa Corporation at the time or something. And it just said how much money you had in there, how much you made his profit, how much, you know, that kind of thing. And then they wouldn't let I said, well, this is too good to be true, but maybe it's true. And I try to get like my dad involved, right? And they wouldn't take the other thing, they wouldn't take any new people that you had. It's just your investment period. Wow. And yeah, it's pretty, pretty clever thing psychologically. I think it's appeal to greed, you know? Yeah. Yeah. One thing I've noticed a

lot recently is that there are a lot of biopics that come out and some of them come out while the person is still alive and their story is still very much being told. And then there's the other which is like the retrospect maybe they've been passed away for a couple years and kind of their legacy has has time to submit itself a little bit. If you're writing that person's story, is it more difficult to write about somebody who passed away 20 years ago? Or is it easier to write about somebody who's still alive and can very much be like I think it depends on the lives. I think they're both possible. And probably I have to find some way in on both of them. I mean, I did a screenplay that's probably never going to see the light of David on a guy who's alive,

who I love, and David Geffen. And, you know, and he's alive. And, you know, I know him, as I said, I adore him works and all. So we did some of that. And so that was just that had the advantage of this man who, aside from being so wealthy, but did really good things for the planet and also was so instrumental in the music that was basically the soundtrack of my life, you know, I'm saying. So that was that one was the music that really appealed to me. Other biographies, I mean, I think, I think Ali was obviously that guy, he meant so much to me. I mean, I think the main thing about writing anything like boner dogs, which I'm working on. Right, what's your passion? You have to have passion about it. You know, you, you should,

if you could just write boner dogs and then bury it somewhere. And then in like 30 years, we'll go find it. And then that will be its own movie, us finding the script. But maybe I just leave you clues on how to find it. There you go. And then we just did a documentary about finding a script. Instead of boner dogs, we just do a documentary about it. Exactly. So it's like, you know, like National Treasure, one of those movies. Yes. Yeah, well, we'll have to do it somehow involved with sports, though. Yeah, that's sort of what we're calling this parts to a radio about, right? Right. Yeah. Yeah. You just fill it. You're just killing time now before sports start up again. Right. Exactly. Right. I was with Tom Werner today. He came over

to talk and it was like, they seem to actually maybe be moving toward getting baseball going in some way. They would like to. Yeah. It's complicated like every sport. Hockey seems very possible. Yes. And basketball seems like it's going to happen as well. Yeah. And then I don't know, I don't know anything about it, but Al Michaels felt pretty serious that football is going to happen, but what you like it or not. Yeah. The NFL doesn't care. They're just going full steam ahead. Yeah. That's what I wondered. Don't they have any protocols? No. What fires? Yeah. Rub some dirt on it. That's their protocol. Guess what? Guess what? You won't be thinking about when it's one o'clock on a Sunday and you fire up the Red Zone channel, the Corona virus. So they know that.

By the way, hello. I mean, it's like even, even I, and this is cruel, but I remember seeing a thing about like Tony Dorsett, I think maybe I'm wrong. Maybe he has that CTE. I think he might. Anyway, I was reading on the internet some story about some famous football player who had it. And my eye went to the right that said the greatest runs in whatever NFL history and forget about the CTE. I was watching these runs and I said, that's pretty rotten. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's true. The NFL definitely plows right ahead. Well, that you can, my, my, my partner being, as I said, a doctor and pretty, pretty savvy. So we sometimes watch and I won't mention names, but we, I, I like to watch those, the training camp

things, the hard knock. Yeah. They're pretty great. And the one on the Raiders was amazing. And she could tell you people who have CTE already because they start acting, start believing in demons and things, you know, and it's pretty, pretty tragic. Yeah. Yeah. But what's better than NFL football? Nothing, nothing, nothing. This has been great. We really appreciate your time. Yeah. Absolutely. We didn't talk any sports. What the hell? It's been awesome to, to talk about. Do it again. We'll talk about next time gamblers. Yes. Like poker players. Yes. Like Tobin Maguire. Yes. Yeah. We'll leave something on there so we can, we can do it again. Absolutely. Wait, wait, wait. Do you have a poker game, a Hollywood poker game that? No, I don't. I just, I just

enjoy watching and I know that Tobin Maguire is the best poker player in America. There you go. And I could tell you also stories about a lot of Vegas guys, you know, like lunatics, you know? Yeah. But that's, I just find it fun, but it's not my life. Yeah. Fascinating. Yeah. Tell you what, we'll let you go. We'll let you get to work on boner dogs. Yeah. Yeah. No, I know. I'm just, I'm just, the title sequence is almost done. Perfect. That's what I want to hear. Well, thank you so much. We really appreciate it. Thank you. I love this. Yeah. This is so funny. I love that my son set this episode so ridiculous. Absolutely. That's how we get to a lot of our guests, to be honest. You know, and you've had,

you've had the best. You had Koopelman. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. You know him. He's a good friend. I only know him on telephone, but I think he wrote the best gambling movie ever written probably. Rounders, he told us, yeah, he told us what the last hand was. Do you know it? No, I don't know it well enough. Well, thank you so much. We, you're always welcome back on, so we'd love to do it again sometime. I loved it. I'll do it anytime you want. I love this. You guys stay safe. Okay. No, no illness, please. Yeah. You too. You too. That interview with Eric Roth was brought to you by our great friends at Zip Recruiters. Their focus hasn't changed. During this time of change, we want you guys to know that Zip Recruiters'

focus has not. They're still doing what they've always done, helping people find work and helping businesses find the right people for their open rules. Right now, there's probably no better time to go out there and get great talent for your company. As they're, this is probably the best time for hiring new people that we've seen in a long time. If you're looking for a job, Zip Recruiters working with you to find the right job faster and Zip Recruiters still doing what they've always done. They're dedicated to helping you get hired from caretaking to delivering food and goods to building medical facilities, supplying protective equipment, and so much more. In fact, Zip Recruiters' app is going to send you up-to-date job openings so you can be one of the first to

apply. If you're looking for a job right now, I know a lot of people are, Zip Recruiters can help you out. In fact, their app is going to send you those up-to-date job openings all the time. They're going to let you know when there's a new job opening so you can apply. If you're actively hiring, Zip Recruiters is going to invite candidates to apply to your most urgent roles, making it faster and easier to reach the people that you need. By connecting people who need jobs and companies that need people, Zip Recruiters working with all of us so we can keep moving forward. Let's work together. ZipRecruiter.com slash work together. Okay. Oh, before we get to our Mount Rushmore, we are reviewing Sour Grapes on Friday's show. Sour Grapes? Sour Grapes. I'm told as a documentary

about a young man who swindles professional wine collectors, so that sounds good to me. How can you watch it? How can the people watch it? I know it's on Netflix. Okay, Netflix. I don't know where else, but it's on Netflix. Boom. Boom. All right. Perfect. So Sour Grapes, Friday's show. Get ready for it. Let's do Mount Rushmore. We're going to do a Mount Rushmore in honor of Billy Football getting a new puppy, Mount Rushmore of things we love about dogs. So Billy, we will let you start while Billy start PFT then myself, then we'll come back around. Billy, Mount Rushmore of things we love about dogs. Okay, so something my new puppy does is that he's got these huge paws because he's going to be like 120 pounds and right now he's really small. So whenever he runs really fast,

he falls over and does a somersault but is able to like get back into like running and it's like the cutest thing ever. When they trip and recover. Yeah, it's awesome. Okay. Yeah, that's pretty cute. That's pretty, I love how puppies are so resilient and dogs are resilient in general. Like if they fall down, nothing phases them. All right, my first one. I'm going to go with their greetings, a dog greeting, nothing like it. If you've been away from your house for a long time, you come back home. The instant your dog sees you and recognizes you, it makes you feel like you're the best person in the world. Okay. Yeah, that was a pretty easy one there. I had that as well. I'll go the inquisitive ears slash look when a noise or you know, like your dog's like

trying to learn something new and they give you that sideways glance. The head tilt. Oh, the best. The head tilt and the ears tell us ears pop up and she's like, what's that? Yeah, the head tilt is so cute. Yes. All right. My second pick I will go with when they just when they simply just hop up and sit next to you, lay next to you, curl up next to you and they're like, let's just have some good time where we just kind of just chill and you pet me and I'm just going to chill here. We're going to have fun. It's one of those moments where you know that they love you as much as you love them. It's just good old your heart. Yeah, good old times with the dog just sitting on the couch. All right. PFT. My next one, I'm going to go with something that we've talked about

on the show before, the smell of their feet. I love a good dog foot smell. It's the we call it the free toes because it smells like corn chips and it's on their little nails. It's so cute. My next pick sort of in the same vein as Big Hat, but when they pick up on your emotions, when you're sick and your dog knows and lays down next to you, yeah. Or you know, it's like something happens and you're kind of like tweaking out and they just like run up to you and just like be like, yo, what's going on? Chill out. I like the ability went there like when you're tweaking heavy off pre-workout and your dog can tell and it's lifting time. It lifts. It puts its chin on you to calm you down to reduce your heart rate. Is that it? Oh, another one. Oh,

snake trap, snake trap, snake trap, snake trap. When you haven't done cardio recently and it makes you take it for a run so that you can lose that body fat. That's one of the reasons I got a dog. When they are shy, so my puppy, he's really shy. So like the first dog you ever met was like a shih tzu and it's like a 15 pound dog and my dog was like a 20 pound puppy and he like was totally scared of this tiny shih tzu and you like it when dogs are scared. No, no, no, but like tail between legs like shy, like ran behind me and I was like, this is a freaking like fluff ball. Okay, I will say that there was one time that I took Leroy to a dog park and a chihuahua got buck at him and Leroy at the time I think was about 180 pounds and the chihuahua was three or

four pounds and Leroy ran across the entire park with his tail between his legs and hid behind me and then everyone was laughing at him and he didn't know but it was cute. It's so cute. All right, good choice. I'm going to go with when they're eating food, when you fed them and they take a few bites and then they turn around and they look at you and wag their tail while they're eating and they're definitely saying thank you for feeding it. That's so fucking cute. This shit's boss. Okay, I'll go with the when I assume most dogs do this but Stella does it because she's smaller when they when they're laying down or curled up and they tuck their nose underneath their back leg. They tuck their nose in to keep her a little warmth. That's

the cutest thing ever. Did your dog do that Liam? Yeah, Bubba's dog. I don't know if Leroy might be too big. He's not spry. He's not flexible enough. He's got it. You got to get him into some Pilates dude. That's like that's like what a bird does when they fall asleep. Yeah, he just tucks right in and it's just so fucking cute. And then I'll go with my last pick, the first tennis ball throw. The first tennis ball throw when your dog just loses their fucking mind and they're like this is awesome. And that like first burst of energy, nothing better. Yeah, the way they take off. They run so fast and they're so excited and it's like the best thing ever. And then Stella usually stops after like throw four but that first throw, it's fucking sick. That's really

Stella has that thing where you know, you know, some dogs are like a little too smart for their own good. After the fourth throw, she's like, yeah, I'm not doing this anymore. Yeah. I caught the tennis ball. Why do I keep bringing it back to you? She just will go and then she'll literally just run by it and be like, no, I'm not bringing that back to you. I'm gonna fucking go and run around. That's the Kenny Powers method. It's like I might have picked that shit up. It's heavy. Yeah. My last one that they're very good. Oh, that's a cop out. Come on. Do you want a different one? Yeah, do a different one. When they nail a scoop. When they nail a scoop? When they nail a scoop. Okay. Very good dogs. That's fair. That's fair. Okay. All right. Billy, you know what Billy

just did? Billy just did the dog head tilt. Yeah, head tilt. Huh? Huh? I'm learning something. Huh? When the scoop, when a dog nails a scoop. Okay, okay. My last one is when they kind of have that sort of the same vein of the first tennis throw when they just freak out and just like, like they just super energized. Wait, what? They just freak out. For what? They just, you just because they're scared, which no, no, no, no, no, they just freak out. They just run around like a crackhead for what? For anything. I don't know. They just sometimes they just start running. Can I, can I translate to Billy? The zoomies. So you're talking about when a dog just has so much energy, they don't know what to do with themselves and they like jump up in the air

or they run past you as big cats are referring to. Yeah, the zoomies. When he just goes back and forth. Yeah. Yeah. And then you need to walk your dog. I know, I know, but it's so cute. Yeah, there's a running around. You also have a puppy. So that's fair. There was times when we would go, when Stella was a little, it was a puppy or just like a young dog, we'd go for a fucking crazy long walk to the park and then still at night, she would just like fucking bolt with energy. Yeah, it's like awesome. All right. Things that missed. How about that? All dogs go to heaven. That's also true. Yeah. When they kiss you on the lips. I love that. I had roll in the grass, which people say it's they're actually just rolling in poop.

You don't buy the fact that's like this. Please don't share this picture of a dog kissing you on the lips. They only do that because they're nervous. Yeah, fuck that. No, I hate that. No. I think mom, mama dogs are really cute with their puppies. Yes. When they like make sure that they're all warm. When they grab them by the scruff of the neck. Yeah, that's so cute. That's the best. A dog, a mama dog carrying a baby dog around, a puppy around is so cute. What about first time the father dog gets to see the litter? Oh, look what I did. I made this. No, he's like, he's like, what? Oh, me? Yeah, I guess I have to. My kids? I was like, those kids aren't mine. The specifically more specific on the greetings. My favorite is the greeting when

they're so, so excited that they like almost like bow and they go like anti energy. You know, when like greeting can be happy jumping up, but when they're so they're like losing their mind so much, they almost like try to crawl underneath you. That's the best. Yeah. Go ahead, Bubba. I've had beagles and my old dog specifically, its ears will get in the water when she would drink water and then get up and then shake her head off every time. That's awesome. Hell, yes. When they don't know that they're in water and they shake to try to get dry, that's always cute. When they find the sun spot in the apartment and then they start panting because they're so fucking hot, you're like, you idiot. You're the one who sat there. Dude, so I taught my puppy to swim the other day and now

every time I pick it up like with two hands, it's just trying to swim. Dude, make a video. I'll make a video. Make a video. What are you doing, Billy? Make a fucking video and then give it to us and we're going to tweet it from part of my tape. Okay, I will. I will. I will. Dude, it does a thing. You actually, are you wearing a collar? No. It's my chain. Do it again. Do it again. Billy's excited, everyone. Then when my puppy loves belly rubs, so sometimes you'll just run at me and just jump and land on its back and just be like, rub me. Yeah. You know what another good one is? When they get a scratch, when you scratch them and they start doing the legs thing on their own, the fifth of an inch is a good one. The peanut butter on the nose and watching

them just lick it off with her fucking big tongue, that's the best. Oh, when they hear a can opener. Yeah. When you can see them start to learn something. Or a bag or anything. Anytime I stand up. Packaging when I open a box. Stella just follows me because she knows that if I stand up, there's like an 80% chance I'm getting food. What's really cool is sometimes, so I used to bring Leroy into the bathroom with me when he was a little puppy because I couldn't trust you. You freak a dick. No, I couldn't trust him by himself like in my bedroom or roaming the house. Yeah, that's a good excuse. So I would just like bring him in there and I'd handle my business and leave. So every now and again, if I'm in the bathroom, he comes in and he just noses the door

open and just checks it on me. He's like, okay, you're there and then just walks out. Yep. Oh, you know what another really cute thing is? When your dog decides that it's time to go to bed at night. Yeah. So like puts, puts themselves to bed. Sometimes Leroy would be like downstairs as I'm watching television. And then at like 10, 10 30, he would just stand up calmly and walk upstairs and go to his couch. He decided it was bedtime. It's time to go. I know I'll get people say I'm a bad dog owner for this one, but I do love when she doesn't do it often. But every now and then still put her paws up on the kitchen counter when I'm like making something and that's the cutest thing ever. You're a bad dog owner. Yeah, bad dog owner. One more. My puppy, it hasn't been around

other male dogs yet. So it still pisses without putting its leg up. You got to teach it. That's on you Billy. You got to get in the backyard on all fours and lift your leg up. I'll take him to the bathroom with me and we'll do it there. No, you got to know it's not going to understand that it's going to pee in the bathroom. You have to take your dog out back and you need to pee by lifting your leg. Okay, I'll take a video too. Yeah, do that. Show us that. Also speaking of dogs peeing when they hold their bladder for 18 hours because the elevator in your apartment's broken like we did yesterday. You went from 11 p.m. at night until 6 p.m. the next day without peeing because the elevator was broken. I couldn't carry him down the stairs because it was too narrow

and he's too heavy and he wiggles when you pick him up. So I didn't want him to fall on his ass and hurt himself. And so I was just expecting that he was going to pee on the living floors, newspapers, everywhere and stuff. He held his bladder for 18 hours and then he got outside and he let loose the floods of hell. Like Noah was building an ark in the street. Yeah. Wow. How do you know that he didn't learn how to use the toilet from you all those times in the bathroom? He's secretly taken a piss? Yeah. That would suck if you caught Leroy jerking off into the toilet. He's like, how'd you learn that? Yeah. All right. Only other one I had was when they hear themselves on video.

Like if you play a video of them barking or whining and then they start whining or barking, they're like, hey, that's me. I had one of those fake fireplaces and my dog had run out to it and got scared like looking at the reflection. Dog in a mirror is great. A dog watching a dog show on television is pretty good too. Yep. Dogs are the best. They are. Learning how to climb stairs. Last one. There you go. Is that for you or the dog? For the puppy. They get stuck in the middle of the stairs and they're like, what are you doing? You're like, look, man, you're on your own, man. Deal with it. All right. Let's finish up. We got a couple guys on chicks. Bubba, you're going to read them to us? So I've been seeing Slash hooking up with this guy for like six months

and a month ago when I was blackout, I think, in parentheses, emphasis on I think, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I guess I said yes. Since then, he's been saying stuff to other people like dating, girlfriend, relationship, et cetera. Do I just go with it? Do I have a boyfriend now or do I ever bring up that I was blacked out? I think you got a boyfriend. I think it's too late. Is it Facebook official? I think it's too late. I think you, I think if he's going around saying like, oh, this is my girlfriend, you probably should have had that conversation already. So now you got to go with it. No, no, no, you get him drunk and then explain to him that you're not his girlfriend and he won't remember it. And then it's through double psych.

Yeah. Yeah. That's good. Good call. I like that. Or you could break up with him and then if he's like, what are you talking about? You're like, okay, good. That was just a joke. And then if he's really upset, it's like, you know that he thought that you were boyfriend and girlfriend. I'm rooting for them to get married. That would be awesome. Without. Hey, I actually was never even your girlfriend. Actually just you got to one up them, get him drunk and then marry him and then marry his ass or we'll just break up with him for you. Just just said this to you. We'll say it. Yeah, that's true. Billy will. Okay, next one. After you have sex, it basically feels like you're coming again, he says.

He calls it his P-gasm. No. Is this true? Or is he a psychopath? He's convinced. This guy read the wrong message board and his own brain convinced him that it was true. Like if you pee right after you have sex, you get extra testosterone. The fact is, before you go pee, every guy has to actually finish on the carpet beside their bed. And it's way better actually if you just piss on top of that. This guy, I mean, I think everyone's body's different. So maybe he really is gasming twice. Let him let him be. Or he's just flushing the pipes, you know. Hey guys, I started staying at my boyfriend's apartment more often during quarantine. I think after I fall asleep, he goes back into the living

room to play video games at night. I've noticed there was beer cans and snacks out in the living room that weren't there when we went to bed. Should I be concerned or is this not a big deal? He's leaving him out for Santa. I think it's fine. He's obviously still learning how to coexist with a woman and he could probably just ask you, Hey, is it cool if I go out and I play video games? But right now he's got a guilty conscience behind that somehow. He got to find out why he feels bad about playing video games. Let him know it's okay. Billy? Doesn't talk to girls. Yeah. Oh, go ahead. Get profound. Just let him do what he's got to do. Deal with it. It's a weird time. That's how he blows off steam. Yeah. I mean, imagine if he doesn't do that. Like, what's he

going to do? Billy definitely would be like playing video games. Like, you've been playing video games for fucking 15 hours, Billy. It's like, Have you seen it? Have you seen the news? Fucking weird time. We all cope differently. All things considered, that's a pretty healthy secret that he's keeping from you. Yeah. I've also been using the excuse like to do like stupid stuff like weird times, like there's no rules. Yeah, I think you could also reverse that on him too and wait for him to fall asleep and then go out one night and just go to the living room and pound an entire bag of fronze and watch sex in the city and leave the DVDs out. All right. Last one. Yep. Last one. So boys, I broke up with my long term boyfriend right before quarantine began. We had several

trips planned together, which obviously we canceled since we broke up. My ex randomly sent me half the cost of the trip that I never paid for to begin with. Do I send it back? Do I keep it? Should I invest it in the stock market? What should I do with this? He sent you an invoice? No, he sent he thought that they split it and they never paid it. So he sent her an invoice being like, Hey, accounts receivable needs a thousand bucks for our boat ride to Charlottesville or something like that. I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what he thought. He thought she paid for half of it and she never gave him half and then he sent her the half back. Oh, he gave her a chance. Yes. Yes. All right. I yeah, you I think that's fun money. You spend what you need

to do is find the dumbest thing possible that you can buy with that money and then spend all of it on that. Like I'm talking about I saw a jumpsuit that was $2,000 and Neiman Marcus one time. I didn't buy it because I didn't have $2,000 on me at the time. But every day goes by and I wish that I had just dropped two G's on a jumpsuit. Keep that so queens spend it on something stupid as fuck get it queen. Enjoy it. Do your thing. Billy is very confidog look again. I don't understand what the money what we should do a Mount Rushmore of cutest things Billy does. I pronounce is will lose you when he when he when he when he what lies to us and then admits that he was lying to us, but it's always a simple lie so we can't stay mad. It was a

today he came and worked out with with two people and we told him he could work out but not with two people. And then we said, Billy, why didn't you tell us and he didn't say, oh, my bad. I was lying to you. You said I didn't think anyone was going to be here. Yeah, I didn't think Irish entrance. So he literally was like, I have no remorse of lying. I'm more remorse that everyone was here. The thing I like about Billy is he doesn't lie about why he lies. He's very honest about lying is cool getting getting caught lying stock. Yeah, he makes Billy makes me feel like the greatest detective of all time because I can always get to the answer within like 30 seconds. Hard questioning. Billy, why did you bring extra people? Well, I didn't think you guys

were going to be here flashing back to the last guys on chicks question though. I feel like you might have let a good one get away. A guy that sends you a check after like a month of being broken up being like, oh, I just remembered that you bought this vacation for us. Here's either that or he's a big time simp. Yeah, he's probably just trying to send his way back in. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah. All right, that's our show. Everyone stay safe. We will see you on Friday. We got a recurring guests don't know which one we're going to run, but we got a recurring guest coming up on Friday. Watch sour grapes. Also do not tell Hank the word is chin. Don't say it. Don't you dare say it. Stay safe and take care of each other. I love you guys. Love you guys.

Thank you for having me talking to Mike. Oh Hey, Hey