Pardon My Take - Gordon Hayward + We Solve 49ers QB Problem

Episode Date: September 26, 2018

The Fitzmagic has run out, sort of. Big Ben is back and so is Chris Conte (2:56 - 8:15). We solve the Niners QB problems by drafting a different quarterback for each primetime game (8:15 - 21:05). Hot Seat/Cool Throne including Steven Seagal's latest scheme (21:05 - 37:28). Celtics Forward Gordon Hayward joins the show to talk about his decision to join the Celtics, how tough it was being injured last year, Brad Stevens being a genius, his famous viral video, the Duke shot, and what it's like being Lebron's little b word (37:28 - 75:16). Segments include Nitpicking Saban, Take Quake, Stick to Sports Jason Witten, Break in case of emergency Jimmy Butler Trade, and Guys on Chicks  You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have Celtics Forward. Would you say Superstar? Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely Superstar. Superstar Gordon Hayward.

Right in there. Okay. Awesome interview with Gordon Hayward. We went up to Boston when punk was going on last week. We interviewed Gordon Hayward. It was a lot of fun, really cool guy. We also have a very special, not return them out Rushmore, but something similar that you're going to really like, Hot Seat Cool Throne, and because it is Wednesday, guys on checks,

PFT, you have something you want to tell us before we get started. Please also respect my Let's Go. So if you'd let me pass it back up. I'll set you right up for that. I don't cuck your love, you. I hope. No, I don't. I'm going to respect you.

I'm going to be the bigger man and I'm going to rise above it because I want to talk to you guys about Velvita. That's right. Velvita creamy, shows so, so good. You know what? It's raining outside, weather's starting to turn to fall. You know what time it is. It's time for some mac and cheese.

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Has the Fitzmagic run out? Well it did, and then it came back. It was Fitz Tragic to Fitz Magic, and you know what? There's nothing that's more Fitz Magic than a disappearing act during the first two quarters. He was, I love Ryan Fitzpatrick. If you don't love Ryan Fitzpatrick, you got a big old dump in your pants

because he is so classic and you can tell the minute Ryan Fitzpatrick is losing his magic, it is so fun to watch the downfall. It's great to watch the rise. I went and looked up his Wikipedia and his career stats. He started his career in a classic Ryan Fitzpatrick way. For the Rams, right? Yeah, he had a comeback of like 20 points at halftime

and won the starting job. And then his third start, he threw zero touchdowns, five interceptions. That is Ryan Fitzpatrick through and through. He will get to the highest of highs and then he will get to the lowest of lows and watching it go back and forth. Like we got the whole Ryan Fitzpatrick,

like the entire experience in one game on Monday night. We got it in a nutshell. The only thing that would have made it a little bit better is if he had like shat the bed a little harder at the end. It's so fun to watch him run with the ball too. He's not a great running quarterback except if you look at the stats, he actually is a great running quarterback.

He's not quick, he's not fast. He looks like he's a penguin with like some toilet paper stuck to his butt cheek when he runs. And he's got the thing where the- Classic penguin with toilet paper. Yeah, well, you know how it goes. And he's got the chin strap from his helmet that like covers up his mouth when he runs.

It's like on his beard, but not on his chin. It's such a weird spot. It's perfect. And so like he runs and you know what? I'll say this about him. I think he is the league's best sliding quarterback. He knows exactly when to time his slides to make it just a little appetizing

for the defender to throw his shoulder into his head. So sabrometrically, I'm sure he picks up more of those. I guess it's not roughing the passer at that point with unnecessary roughness. That was the other big story is like the first half, every other pass play was roughing the passer. I'm actually at the point now where I think if I were a coach in the NFL,

I would say to my offensive line, just treat every play like a screen and half of you don't block. And let them get to the quarterback because we'll most likely get 15 yards. It was that funny. I started, I went- Yeah, I would do, I would put Neymar back there

as quarterback and then just let him run right at him. And if he gets touched, just scream, hold his nose, pretend like his testicles have been twisted off. I went from hating it, being like, this is my sports being ruined to kind of enjoying it because it's so utterly ridiculous. And the refs even were getting in

on the utterly ridiculous part where they would throw a flag. They were throwing flags just out of instinct and then saying, you know what, actually there wasn't any roughing the passer on that play. That's my idea is to start every single play with all the flags on the field and then you have to pick them up if there's no penalty.

Right. That's essentially- They already have it with the stupid score bug that's neon yellow and has me confused every single game. Edward James. You know what, it's making me less likely to invest with Edward James.

Yeah, they're fucking with us this year. I swear to God, every single telecast has decided that they're gonna change their score bug to have some kind of yellow in it just to fuck with our brains. We also get a nice little taste of old Ben. He's back. He is back.

His dealers are back. He's still looking a little bit too skinny. He'll plump up later on in the year as this goes on. But yeah, we got some good Ben, we got some bad Ben. We got him overthrowing a ball like 20 yards out of the back of the end zone whether it was a wall for some reason. Tons of plays where Ben, my favorite big Ben play

is when the rush breaks down but it's not actually breaking down but he thinks it is. So he runs and he kind of pushes the offensive lineman and then he backs up and restarts the whole play. Yeah, he looks round. He like resnaps it. Yeah.

And he'll turn around, he'll turn his back to the rush and then he'll turn back around and the play will go for 15 seconds and then he'll overthrow someone. Yeah, big Ben looks like he panics really easily. And it's so fun to watch him get scared. He's like a nervous little chicken out there. He's been eating too much chicken.

Shout out to him. He almost killed the guy when he overthrew into the end zone and the buck's safety or a cornerback went directly into the wall. I don't know what the cornerback was doing that deep. Because he was like, there's no way that this pass is overthrown as wild as it is overthrown.

So he thought he still had a lot of real estate left. Yeah, and then there was the stiff arm from hell in his first half. This is the moment we'll remember. Chris Conti back though. We will remember. That's vintage Conti. This Chris Conti moment.

No other moment from his career. This is the Chris Conti moment. I couldn't believe that Chris Conti was still in the lead. So does he go in the hall of fame as a buck or a bear now? I think it's a buck. He, like good for Chris Conti because the fact that he's still catching a paycheck. I mean, the guys had a million concussion shoulder injuries.

You name it. Can't tackle, can't take an angle. So good job. Way to stay long enough to get absolutely dunked on in Monday Night Football. His tackling strategy on that play was like a dog greeting a soldier coming back from overseas for the first time.

He just like wiggled up and like jumped kind of directly into his neck. To the back up tight end. Let me see if I can tackle this 6'6", like 2'2", 70 guy at his ankles. Or not even his ankles. He went for the first thigh. No, he went up in the air.

He didn't even lower his head. It was heads up tackle. Like Roger Cadela's like, heads up tackling is going to save the NFL. It's a style of tackling where you get as high as possible and put your chest against your chest. Turns out it doesn't work all the time. So the question that we leave Monday Night Football with

is, James Winston, they really talked up the fact that he was going to be in the facility at 5.45 in the morning. That was also very weird. They're like, he's kept his nose clean for two or three years. Really? Well, why is he not playing right now? His nose, yes, but his hands not. So do you start James Winston?

I've been firmly on the record that you got to ride with Patrick Train. Even though they lost the game and he had bad Fitzpatrick in the first half, Ryan Fitzpatrick was the first quarterback ever to throw for over 400 yards three games in a row, which now becomes the most obscure. What are you shaking your head at? That's because of the new rules.

OK. Oh, OK. Yeah, you're right. That's a good point. Peyton Manning and Tom Brady get to play under these rules. Dan Marino. Dan Marino stand over here. That is now the most obscure Bar Trivia question ever,

which actually isn't because everyone knows it because it's so obscure. So are you actually asking me, do we bench Fitzpatrick? Yes. You can me? You can me, man? You can me, man? Absolutely not.

You ride Ryan Fitzpatrick until it gets real ugly. Here's why you don't, because I think everyone's kind of. It's one of those debates. It's not a debate, because everyone kind of agrees with it. I want him out there until he pulls like a Dan or Lovsky and does something as dumb as like sprinting out of the back of the end zone into the tunnel with a ball. Well, I honestly think that against the Bears

defense is Bucks Bears on Sunday. It's the perfect Ryan Fitzpatrick litmus test. Like, is, can he still do this against a good defense? OK, no, he can't. He's either going to fail spectacularly or the Bucks will win the game. The thing is, from what we've seen out of James Winston at least the last year, year and a half, it's tiny hands.

Yeah. Can't keep him to himself. The average James that you get is about on par with bad Fitzpatrick. Like, unless James has magically improved over all seasons. No, James is better than bad. Bad Fitzpatrick is very, very bad. I think you're forgetting how hilarious

James Winston's intercept was. Yeah, but no, bad Fitzpatrick is truly something to behold. They're both equally funny to watch struggle. So maybe do the first quarter, second quarter, third quarter, fourth quarter like a college team. Oh, I like that. I like that too. I like that too.

Yeah. All right, so before we get to our hot seed cool throne, I had an idea. We have to do this. I alluded to it in the start of the show. It's not Mount Rushmore season, even though Tiger's trying to bring Mount Rushmore back, which we'll get to later. The 49ers, we talked about this on Sunday night.

The 49ers, Jimmy G is out for the year. I think did his ex-girlfriend say it was karma? Yeah, she put up an Instagram story saying it was karma. Not his girlfriend. His ex-girlfriend. His ex-girlfriend. He did a like a GQ article or some magazine where he's like, it's news to me that she's my girlfriend.

Oh. Even though there was like many pictures of them together. She was walking around saying that's my boyfriend. She was the girl that Jimmy G said he went on that date with the porn star because the porn star won an auction for a night with Jimmy. And she definitely was like, hey, Jimmy, I love you.

And he said, thanks every time. So Jimmy G, torn ACL out for the season. We talked about it on Sunday night. The 49ers, as it stands right now, no flexes. We're not accounting for flexes because I think two can be flexed out. But as it stands right now, there are five primetime games in seven weeks, the 49ers are scheduled for.

I think two of them will be flexed out. But it's going to suck. We talked about no offense to CJ Bethard. Good guy. It's fine guy. Beat hard. Beat hard. No offense to CJ Bethard.

Fine guy, cool guy, whatever. He's like, he will probably win a couple of these games because he's kind of got that scrappy quarterback feel. He does look cool. Yeah, he does. I like him. But I'm talking about just from a viewer's perspective, what would get us excited for a primetime 49ers game?

So my idea is the 49ers get a rule that is not for any other team. And it is that they get to bring in a quarterback, a different quarterback for every primetime game. They can sign them to a one-week contract. Yeah, they get a flex spot available on this thing. So we're going to draft the quarterbacks we'd most like to see.

And the rule is simple. It cannot be a starting quarterback right now. And they have had to have taken a snap, at least one snap, in the last five years. Simple as can be. All right. So 2013 on. We going to go snake draft or what?

Yeah, how do you do snake draft with five, though? Does that fuck it up? No, I think it'll be fine. I guess we'll find out. Are we good? I guess we'll find out. OK, Bubba, who goes first? Who goes second?

PFT, Big Cat, Hank. Oh, I like the first one. OK. That's actually a lot of pressure with the first pick here. Tons of pressure. So this is, we're doing it, what would you most like to watch? Yeah, not necessarily like who gives you the best chance to win. No, not at all who gives you the best chance to win.

No. All right. Number one, I think I got to go match up. Send him out there. Every single pass, possibility of a pick six. There's nothing like the moment when match up delivers on that pick six. When everyone's been expecting waiting for it all day,

like the grand finale, it's like a Meryl Streep movie. And she finally cries at one scene. And you're like, that's why I went to go see this movie. That stretch that match up had where he was, he was so electric with his pick sixes. And he, like every single game, was a pick six, pick six, pick six. I think he, how many games in a row did he go? I think maybe four or five.

Yeah, it was, it was amazing. It was 2014, 2015. It was amazing. All right, my first pick. Oh, I have a question. As I fucked up with one name that I put on my list, I have a question. Do pre-season snaps count or no?

Yeah. OK. All right, so then my first pick's easy. Tim Tebow. No brainer. Tim Tebow would light the world on. You imagine Tim Tebow coming back. Do you imagine Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless?

They might bring them back. That would reunite them. Yes. That's like the parent trap for Stephen A. Smith and Skip. Oh, I need it. Instead of little Lindsay Lohan, you got little Tim Tebow. That one's a realistic chance. Yeah.

Like, that actually is a realistic chance. I'm just really excited to see you guys get back out there and debate, guys. Oh, I need it. All right, Hank, go ahead. Do I get two or three now? You get two. Two.

What? I don't know. You're two. I don't know what the five had. I said, oh, so now you agree with me that five might be tough to handle? I'm just curious. All right.

We take like one week off from doing Mount Rushmore. We totally lose ourselves. I think we're going to get into a little bit of a snafu with the five. I think you guys are underestimating. That's too far in advance. I'm on to focus on Cincinnati right now. In fact, I'm shocked that these two made it this far.

Number one, Mike. Well, it's only been two picks. I thought they're the one and two consensus. Michael Vick. Yeah? Jay Cutler. OK, so you're stealing my Jay Cutler. I mean, you had, you literally just went.

Well, I had to take Tim Tebow. Tim Tebow's the most electric guy. So if you had to take him, then I had to take Jay Cutler. He's electric. He was fucking awesome to watch him. Fine, Hank. Fine. Don't let it get contentious.

We're not in the summer anymore. I mean, you just accused me of stealing your pick when you went by morning. No, I was just saying, like, in general, you're stealing my pick. OK. Whoof. All right. One last ride.

One last ride on the horse. One last Twitter night. Tony Romo. Yep. Need it. Need it. And special, get him mic'd up, too. So he can announce the game while he plays it.

I like that. And you can make, like, a compilation video of Tony Romo announcing Tony Romo using him. Yes. Yes. Yes. Just, like, like. All right, Romo drops back to pass here.

Ah, is he open? I don't know. It's, like, one last wish in life. I just want one moment, one more crushing end zone interception from Tony Romo in the fourth quarter to watch Twitter just burn to the ground. Yeah, there was no Twitter like Tony Romo interception Twitter.

All right, my second pick. I'm going to go with RG3. Oh, that's a good pick. That's a good pick, PFT. Get him out there. I mean, people would tune in for that. He might not be any good. But, combining with Kyle Shanahan,

they got lightning in a bottle back in 2012. People forget. They won, like, seven games in a row. Yep. So there's actually a possibility they would win the game. And then you get to see, like, his dad in the locker room afterwards totally alienate Kyle Shanahan as well. Great pick.

So for my third pick, I'm going to go with Colin Kaepernick. Good one. And, you know, like, there's talk of, you know, protesting because people are tuning out of the NFL because of Kaepernick and all that stuff. I actually think that if Colin Kaepernick started a game in prime time for the 49ers, it would be the highest rated game of the entire season.

Absolutely. And Twitter would meltdown. And Twitter meltdown. Yeah. And, I mean, that's a guy that would work well with Kyle Shanahan too. OK. Another one that I think would get a real big buzz.

Bring them back. Johnny Football. Ooh. OK. Johnny Football, 49ers. That would be fun. Monday night. Maybe that Monday night.

Put them against the worst defense. Imagine, like, a seven interception. Any of these guys from Seven Interceptions would be unbelievable. OK, Hank, you got two. Two. Sorry. I think I'm going to get fucked with this five thing.

Sorry again for stealing your pick, but Kyle Orton. OK, that's fine. And you sound fine. Yeah. No, that's fine. That's good. That's fine. Good pick, Hank.

I'm happy with my picks. Yeah, no, Hank. I can't believe Johnny Manziel lasted this one. I'm not even, I think it's funny. I can't believe Johnny Manziel lasted this one. I'm actually laughing. The person who I would like to see take one last ride and get, like, Seven Interceptions

throw, like, 15 five-yard passes, Peyton Manziel. Yes, that was my next, that was going to be my next pick. That's a great pick. OK. That last year, him playing was amazing. Yeah, hilarious. The Peyton, where he sacks himself, he just runs and sacks himself.

And he, like, tries to throw it deep, and he, like, throws it 15 yards, but he throws it as hard as he possibly can. OK, I will go with, now we're getting down there. I'll go with the Brockett ship. God damn it. Love to see the Brockett ship out there. You got to get Brock in one of these times out of the game.

Yeah, you got to get him out there. Got to see him out there. Now I got to make some adjustments. Wait, so how many have I picked? Four. Yeah, OK. I've picked three. Yeah.

No, you've picked? Yeah, I picked three. Three. I got three. I got Shaw, Bargy, three, and Colin Kaepernick. So you go two? I get my two. How many have you picked?

I picked four. OK, got it. All right. Uh. OK, I'm going to go with Matt Flynn. That's good. Because if he lights it up for one game, I would love nothing more than to see Matt Flynn get

a five-year $80 million dollar deal out of something. Yes, yes, yes. That would be incredible. Do they play the Lions in prime time? No, they already played the Lions. Shit. OK, well, that's troubling. Yeah.

I'm still going to go with Matt Flynn. OK. And then my last one, Ryan Mallett. Ooh. Ryan Mallett. Do you think he can wake up in time? No, see, he might not even show up for the first quarter. OK, all right.

I left a card. There's some good honorable mentions that we left off here. But I'm going to go with my last pick, Brandon Whedon. Love that guy. Love his stupid fucking face. Is he still alive? Oh, yeah, he's still out there. He's probably on a team.

He's probably on the Texas. He is in the league. If any team gets an emergency quarterback situation, you just expect Brandon Whedon to come through that door. OK, last pick, Hank. Go with the Sanchez. Mark Sanchez. Nice.

All right, we missed a lot. So I almost did Joe Webb. But I think that's probably a very specific one to me. For you, yeah. No one else wants to see Joe Webb, except for anyone who bet on the Vikings at Lambeau Field in that playoff. I mean, I still remember that game.

There was a possibility he was going to break it off every single play. So that little group out there, I'm talking to you right now. If you bet on Joe Webb, I'm sorry. But I had to I had to pass on him. When did Favre take his last snap? It was 12 or 11 because he's in the whole thing. We were like one year out. Shit.

My one of my honorable mentions was going to be Josh Freeman, but only on one day of practice. Josh Freeman, Seneca Wallace, Tavares Jackson, just missing everyone, T-Jack. Mike Lennon would be a good one. Mike Lennon, Daniel Lovsky, Charlie Whitehurst, Tom Savage. Recurring guest, Carson Palmer. We might actually get a Tom Savage.

TJ Yeats of Hell. We might actually get a TJ Yeats. We need TJ Yeats of Hell out there. All right, so vote for it. Are we going to vote for it? No, just make the graphics. Make the, I'm just telling Liam what to do in the middle of the show, but make the sick ass Monday night football posters with all five

of our each of our five picks on one poster. OK? OK, cool. I'm actually shocked that you didn't take your man, Jake Cutleron. Well, I'm actually. Or Kyle Orton. Because you'll get your guys. Well, this is a hypothetical.

And I'm actually working on Jake Cutleron to the 49ers. Put it out in the ecosystem. I've talked to someone in the 49ers building. I've talked to Jake Cutleron. I'm bringing both parties to the table. We're going to try to get a deal done. He's got a link to John Lynch. He's got a link to the Shanahan family.

It makes too much sense. I just, before that, I need Sam Bradford to get traded to the Niners. That has to happen one more time. That's selfish of you. No, it's not. It's not. It's selfish of me to hope that Sam Bradford is financially

secure for the rest of his life. OK, let's get to our hot seat cool throne. Taking food out of his family's belly, man. Hank, why don't you start? My hot seat is Little Zan. So you guys, I'm sure, know him as Noah Cyrus' ex-boyfriend. I thought Little Zan, by the way, was the little Asian girl who stunts on everyone.

Little Peep. Little Peep. No. No, no, no. Little Zan changed his name. Little Peep died from Xanax. Oh, fuck. Little Zan said, I'm not going to go by Little Zan anymore.

And that lasted for like a week. Yeah, he doesn't do Xanax anymore, right? Yeah, I read that Little Zan. Kind of pox yourself in there with the name of yourself Little Zan. And he also got Xanax tattoos on his face. Yeah. But I heard he quit.

OK. Little Tay. Little Tay. Little Tay. He has a lot of littles. He went to the hospital. Although I'm kind of woke on this that this is all mad for hot Cheetos.

But he put out an Instagram that said, I went to the hospital today. I just want to let everyone know I was in the hospital, not due to any drugs. But I guess I ate too many hot Cheetos and it ripped something in my stomach. Thoughts and prayers. I believe that.

I believe that. What was he, like 16 years old? You can get it also. 17? Yeah. Too many buffaloes. You know it'll fuck you up. It would have been more believable if he said Takis.

Takis are way spicier than flaming hot Cheetos. Ever have some whiskey and some buffaloes at the same time? I feel like you have a hole in your stomach. Yeah, like every Friday. Yeah, it's a hole in your stomach. I knew a kid that ate a great bag of sour skittles and his tongue, like a snake. He like lost a layer of his tongue.

Wait, it forked? Like you know when you eat sour, like you get that weird texture in your tongue. He ate so many that like a whole layer of his tongue just came off. That's such a classic middle school thing to do. That's gross. What's your?

How many atomic warheads do you feed him out? What's your cool throne? My cool throne is basketball. So the NBA has a basketball. I don't know if they've done this every year, but I love the fact that the NBA does all their media days on one day and it just get all the storylines, all the funny clips, it all comes out at once

and it feels good because it's like, all right, basketball is back. Kwi, robot Kwi. That's the scariest laugh any person has ever had, ever. It's terrifying. I want to see him and Jason Witton interact with each other. They would just be scanning each other's faces and like intermingling if they were friend or foe.

There also has never been a less convincing, how do you describe yourself? I'm a fun guy. That's like when, remember when everyone said that Jeb Bush was actually really funny behind, you just had to get to know him? Like I don't think, I don't think so, yeah. I don't think you could say you're a fun guy

and be like, well, you just got to really, you really got to spend your whole life with them and then you really see their humor. Wasn't his answer like, I'm a fun guy, but you need to ask me a different question to get me to describe how I'm fun. The robot is not computing this question. He should just answer questions in zeros and ones.

Yeah, that'd be great. Just throw it out there. Go ahead, PFT. What do you got? Oh, you got something else? I don't want to step on any toes. No, I was going to say seeing LeBron to Lincoln Jersey was disgusting.

I actually think it wasn't, I think seeing his teammates in Lincoln Jersey was disgusting. Seeing Michael Beasley, Javale, Rondo, and Lance Stevenson all lined up. They took a picture, just the four of them. What was the name? I took a little of my mouth.

LeBron, he gave them a name for that squad. It was like the BUMs. The fuck boys? I think he called them the bums, but instead for something stupid, like believably unbelievable men or something. It was something like very Robert Griffin-esque. Yeah, very LeBron, Robert Griffin-esque.

One of the guys, Harrison Fagan, that covers the Lakers, called him the Suicide Squad. No, that wasn't it. Because they were going to want to make LeBron commit suicide? Why, because they're really shitty and nobody's going to go watch them. Because they're going to be box office poison in LA. OK, PFT, you go.

All right, my first hot seat is Fields. Just Fields in general. So we saw Cleveland, Washington, and Tampa Bay. All three of those fields were just awful garbage. A Tampa Bay somehow overtook DC as having the worst field in football. There was a torrential downpour, like insane thunderstorm right before the game.

Yeah, but doesn't rain help grass grow? Yeah, I guess. They also have another team play there, which is so stupid that they do that. It's insane. Hey, don't touch our quarterbacks. We're really into player safety, but let's also have a high school and a college

play on this field and rip it up before the Sunday game. Yeah, they were really, really bad. So I guess FedEx was pretty bad on Sunday, too, up in Raul John. Yeah, God forbid. They showed pictures of the field, and it looked like somebody drove a tank back and forth across the board. It was like, what are these tank tracks doing out here?

My other hot seat is my amplifier. Oh, wow, real relatable. My amp. During the show, during the pup punk show on Thursday, it just turned off in the middle of a song for about 30 seconds. Hate it when I'm playing a concert for 1,000 people. Yeah, well, no, it was more than that.

It was more than that. Shut up. But nobody seemed to notice because they were having such a great time, and it was rocking pretty hard when it was on. So they gave me the benefit of the doubt. But the reason I'm bringing it up is because I don't know if anybody out there

works at an amplifier. Wait, so you just did a hot seat just for a free plug? Yeah, just to try to get an amp. That was insane. Marshall, if you're out there, Vox, if you're out there, Orange, especially Orange, if you're out there, send an amp my way. Wet the beak a little bit.

Oh, man. I broke a pair of headphones, though. There's the same company that can send me money. Hey, I owe my book a lot of money if anyone wants to just send me money. Totally different. I have a bad amplifier, so I'm sending one my way. My cool throne is field goals.

So we had a big dumb field goal week this week. Dirt cutter kicked a shitty one in the first half. Yeah, so the Dan Quinn week. Yeah, the Dan Quinn week came back big time. He kicked a shitty one. The Chargers kicked shitty field goals. Unbelievable one. Against Sean McVay.

Like Sean McVay, you saw him on the sidelines, he was just like laughing. Yeah. Why are you doing this? They were down, what was it? They were down 16, maybe? No, 17, I think. No, I can't remember what they were down.

They were down a lot with like five minutes left. I think they were down 16. Yeah, and they kicked a field goal down 16. The dumbest thing you could possibly do. Yeah, it was atrocious. And also Matt Nagy's timeout before the field goal. Yeah. That was just for no reason.

Well, sometimes you've got to think it over. Yeah, is this really what we're going to do here? Sometimes you've got to think it over when you're down two and you have an ability to go up one, but you also have an ability to get stopped at fourth and one and lose the ball. Well, let me ask you this. Yeah, I really think that went over.

Let me ask you this. Would you rather get iced by the opposing coach or by your own coach? True. So you control the narrative that way. Get out in front of the story. Nice yourself. Yeah, so that is my cool thing.

I only had one, but that's a big one. I love shitty field goals, too. Yes. Like, the Chiefs are very fortunate that they haven't been within, they haven't been trailing in the last couple minutes of the game because that's Andy Reed special, too. Yes, yes. The college, if you love shitty field goals,

college football, especially the Mac, there's, I actually am shocked when college kickers kick a field goal. Yeah, coaches, you don't lose games by kick and field goals when you're down by two scores. OK, my hot seat is the Chicago Cubs internet. So first, no, the internet. Team's good, though. No, the team's fine.

Are they? Still one and a half games up. Are they fine? As is the taping. That could change, but no matter what. You're not worried. By the time you're listening to this, no matter what, the Cubs will still be in first place

by Hooker by Crook, the Cubs internet. So you're not worried. Not worried. So there was an old tweet that popped up where the Cubs had a picture of a nude woman, a nude. Wow. Nudie? Nudie?

Is he called a nudie? No way to describe it. What do you call it, a nudie? It was playing girls, like from United Airlines when they had the girl putting a plane in there. It was a nudie. It was a nudie. So that one, that's fine, whatever.

Everyone, you know. Pop up old tweet. I'm OK. Who cares? I'm totally fine with seeing it. They tweeted it, or it was. No, it was from like 2012, a tweet from 2012 that people found.

From the account. Yeah. It's one of those weird situations. You don't know when the account became like the San Diego Chargers account. And remember that guy used to always tweet like, hey, I'm really hungry for some P.F. Changs? And like, oh, I've got to take my wife to P.F. Changs tonight?

If you look at the early Chargers tweets, it's fucking hilarious, because it was just some random dude who ran the account and just tweeted his own personal business. I think that guy actually ended up becoming the social media manager for the charges. Yeah. No, he was at the time. It was in such pre-internet where, no,

it wasn't from the Chargers account at the time. They just took over the handle. And instead of like paying the guy for the handle, he was like, hey, can I just be your social media manager? Right. And they said, yeah, go ahead. Yeah, you know what? But I'm totally OK with like a little surprise porn

popping up on the timeline. Yeah. So the charge, I'm pulling up the Chargers tweets from 2007. So hungry. Need to find my wife and head to P.F. Changs. It's so funny seeing it from the Chargers account. The other one comes internet. Joe Madden, not good.

This one is not really excusable. He said he was asked about Addison Russell's ex-wife and the allegations of abuse that she wrote on her blog. And he said, I haven't read it. And there's nothing I can do to help the situation at all. Bad answer, Joe. Bad answer. That's an Urban Meyer-esque answer basically saying,

my internet doesn't work and my brain doesn't work. And I forgot that I should probably read about my accusations that my players committed domestic abuse. Whether it's true or not, bad answer, Joe Madden. You should be ashamed, or you should just say that you need to take pills for your memory. Yeah, how long could that possibly take to read that? Five minutes.

Yeah. Probably should do it. Probably a good thing to do as a manager. Pretty bad answer by you. All right, my cool throne is, this one's a big one, boys. You ready for this? Steven Seagal, businesses that we'd like to invest in. We're back.

OK, what's up? So from Bitcoin to Gen, which failed, and might have been a huge Ponzi scheme, we have the newest Steven Seagal joint. It is called 365 Flix. Are you asking yourself right now, what is 365 Flix? Yeah. OK, so let me tell you.

Welcome to the evolution of your entertainment experience with 365 Flix, where we take movies, series, and shows to the next level of interaction by bringing your favorite stars into your home in the palm of your hand. So essentially, they invented Netflix. But then there's videos of Steven Seagal talking to you. But you can do this 365 days a year. Yes.

And the new Steven Seagal movie, Attrition, is going to be on this 365 Flix exclusively. Here's the part where I don't really understand, but I'm all the way in. There's a Superfan program. And when you sign up to become a part of the 365 Flix Superfan program, you'll have the opportunity to make money and compete to win our amazing Ultimate

Superfan rewards that includes prizes, such as trips to meet celebrities, exclusive onset items, merchandise, and more. So I think if you pay for it, you can then become a Superfan and maybe win your money back. OK, or it sounds to me like you can pay for a subscription, enter the Superfan contest, and then Steven Seagal will hand pick which of the people out there probably

an Asian woman between the age of 18 and 22, he would like to come meet him and spend time with him on his weird ranch in Southern California. I love this idea. I mean, I don't know who came up with it, but it was essentially a bunch of people that were really high in like, how can we make Netflix better? What if we had Steven Seagal talk to the fans?

You know what it actually sounds like to me that Steven Seagal made a movie? And every single movie that it was like, no, I'm not going to play this. He's like, I'll make my own app. Yes. That's right. Yeah.

If you build it, they will come. Yeah. That's, I mean, he is literally just building his own studio. He did title, like Kanye West. Yes. He is the Kanye West of the movie industry. All Steven Seagal movies can be found on 365 Flix. There's only one right now that can

be found on 365 Flix, but all going forward. So I'm ready for this. All right, let's get to our interview with Gordon Hayward. Really fun interview. Awesome time. Called out Hank. Whatever. Are you want to say anything about that, Hank?

Sorry, I wasn't allowed to go. I had to work. OK, so before we get to Gordon Hayward, the Cash App. You know Cash App. It's the simplest way to instantly send money to friends. It's also the number one app in finance, and now it's the number one app to help the award-winning listeners get some much-needed money

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Superstar, Gordon Hayward. Ooh. OK, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is Gordon Hayward, Boston Celtics. Legend, one-game legend. One-game legend. Very memorable game. Yeah, let's start with that.

Because I'm looking at your leg right now. Which one is it? Oh, that's a big scar. So I saw in my googling before this, you said you are basically 100%. It doesn't sound like 100%. Basically, I think that just means I'm playing 5-on-5 again. I don't think there's any restrictions on my movement

or playing time or anything like that. But I don't feel like I feel like there's still a little bit left that I have to get that. Just a little extra mental. It's the mental is the last. It's pretty much healed to use LeBron James. You have pretty much no longer a broken foot. Yes.

Yes. I'm a fellow foot injury survivor. So I know the answer to this question before I ask it. But the first time that you landed on your foot after your rehab, after the surgeries, were you afraid to land on it? For sure I was. Yeah, definitely.

I think the first time that I played, the first time that I walked on it again, I was running on it again. I mean, there was so many different levels of the progression. And each time, I feel like it was a little bit nervous. Like, can I do this? And so then you asked the rehab specialist and trainers,

is this going to be all right? They're like, yeah, it's going to be fine. But until you actually get in and do it, I don't believe them. Was there ever a point that you thought you were going to be able to come back for the playoffs last year? Because there was a little buzz, like Gordon Hayward. You might do it.

And then hockey player would have done it. Yeah. But I always find that interesting. Because I always wonder, is that the doctors, or not the doctors, but the media kind of putting a timetable on it? And then once the timetable gets there, where's Gordon Hayward? Or was it you trying to push to it?

Well, so when I first got injured and I was talking to the doctor, like a surgeon about the timetable, the timetable that they originally gave me, which was kind of open-ended. But they also said it could be like five, six months. And so to me, I was like, let's go with that, five months. Like, and then I'll be ready. And so I didn't want to, like every day I was just working.

I wasn't necessarily thinking about coming back for the playoffs, but every day I was working towards coming back before the playoffs. And then when it was April and I still hadn't run yet, I think it was kind of like the book was shut. But I think it was funny because I would do an Instagram post of me doing stationary dribbling and shooting the day after Coach Steven said he's not coming back,

and then there would be all this hype like I'm coming back and everything. Coach Steven's got a little pissed about that. Did he tell you to curtail your social media post when he was like, hey, man, I just said that you can't do this? Yeah, we had a good laugh about that, for sure. So you don't have to answer this. This is going to be a hard question to answer truthfully.

I'll answer it truthfully if I were Gordon Hayward. I always wonder when you're sitting on the bench and a team is having success, is there a small, tiny, little, little, little, small part of you that's like, I kind of wish they'd lose so that I was like so important that they need me out there. If I were Gordon Hayward, I'd say, yeah, I definitely was rooting against the Celtics.

I mean, I think I don't think you'd be human if there wasn't a part of you that was like, I hope that we lose. Right. It's the competitive nature in you. And I feel like it's crazy to not be able to say that out loud. I know you're obviously rooting for your teammates. You want them to win.

But there's a part of you that always wants to be part of the winning team. Yeah, I think so that happened too at the very beginning of the season. I got hurt. I think we lost our first two games, but then we went on like an 18 or 19 game win streak. And I was like laying in bed like, come on.

Like, what's going on? There was a part of me that's like, dude, they're winning without me. Like, what's the deal? But then there's another side that you're like, OK, this is why I came to Boston. We're going to be good. We're going to have a chance to win the whole thing.

You're rooting for them. These are your teammates. So you have two conflicting things going on at the same time. Like I said, if you didn't think that, I don't think you would be human. You're a natural competitor. You want to be out there. They're doing well without you.

But like I said, that's why I came to Boston. I appreciate the honesty. I feel like a lot of people wouldn't be honest about that. But that's exactly how, as a fan, I'm watching. I'm like, yeah, of course, Kyrie's probably going through the same thing. I wish I was out there. I wish I was helping the team win.

No doubt. I think to compete at this level, you have to have that mentality. Like if you pulled every guy in the league, if they were honest, they would probably say the same thing. And you guys had a really fun team last year during that playoff run. I remember watching it and being like, damn, like they've somehow

figured out how to put these pieces together. They've had two pretty big injuries. And they figured out how to make it work. Probably the scrappiest team during the playoffs. Who's scrappier, scary Terry or Marcus Smyth? That's a good question. I don't know if you can be scrappier than Marcus or Marcus. Are you God and Haywood?

I didn't get a chance to play in the garden, so I don't think I'm that yet. I was in Cleveland. They didn't call me that day. Hank wanted us to start calling you Gordy. Where is Hank? Hank, you're a fake fan. Ooh, yeah, you're a nice, nice, fake Boston fan.

Every time I listen to you guys, you're always the one that sticks up for New England. So you, Marcus Smyth, he's obviously crazy scrappy. Does he do that stuff in practice? Yeah, I mean, he's hard-nosed. I mean, it's kind of annoying when you're playing against him, but I love it when he's on your side of the practice team. Yeah, he's one of those guys that his stats,

if you look at the box score, you're like, yeah, he missed a few threes. But then if you watch it, you're like, OK, I get it. I get why he's part of a team, why he's playing big minutes, because it's like that enthusiasm that just is contagious. It's all the little things that he does that don't show up on the stat sheet that just, like, when you're going to the Y and you're picking up teams,

like, you want him on. If you've been there before, you know how he plays, you pick him up first. But if you've never been there, you might not pick him first. You know what I mean? He's breaking threes in the warm-up. You're like, I can't shoot. Let's go back a little.

We'll come back to the self-discipline. Let's go back to Indiana Butler. So you grew up, and you were basically like a short kid up until sophomore year, and you were like, not going to play basketball. So before we start talking about that girl's spurt, I have a fan-submitted question from our good friend Mark Titus.

He said, why the hell did you have your girl's spurt after I graduated? That was his direct question to you. Why did I have a girl's spurt after he graduated? Yeah, because you guys played together in high school, correct? Yes, I was a freshman. He was a junior. And you were how tall?

So as a freshman, I think I was 5'10". That's not true, like a butt 20. I wanted to fact-check your cat. He said 5'10", short. That's actually tall. I was skinny, though, too. That was the other problem. But you went from, I mean, if your Wikipedia is correct,

you went from tennis is your main passion, then you had a girl's spurt of seven inches over a year or two? So that is a little bit incorrect. OK, so correct it. OK, basketball has always been my passion. I was better at tennis, though, in high school. Got it. So there was a point in time.

I wanted to play at college sport. I was like a 5'10", 120 white kid. Probably not going to play basketball with that build, with that physique. And I was decent at tennis. I felt like if I played year-round and dropped basketball, maybe a chance. And so I remember I had the speech ready for my coach,

because we had early morning workouts. So I remember waking up in the morning and practicing my speech of how I was going to quit the team, because my parents were going to be pissed. Like, you can't quit anything. And so I had to make sure that I had the right reasons. And my mom convinced me to keep playing. She's like, do you love it?

And I said, yeah. She said, well, just keep playing. Maybe you have some fun. Luckily, I grew. I don't know how. And ended up where I am now. How tall are your parents? Both 5'10".

Ooh, there's nobody in my family over six feet tall. There's 5'10", for girls, is a little bit. Yeah, good question. It's a fair question, right? That could be fair. Did your mom start spiking your cereal with a little HGH or something? She was like, I'm going to get you up to 6'10".

So are you 6'6", 6'7", 6'8"? Because that's also a source of conflict online. Nobody knows how tall you are. Really? Yeah. Some places say 6'7", some say 6'8". Well, 6'7", without shoes, 6'8", with shoes. Got it.

But you play basketball with shoes, so 6'8". Well, I could put on stilts and say that with my shoes on. If you can play basketball with stilts. You can't play basketball without shoes on. Without shoes, either. I played guys' sports like football. Wait, so you growing up, obviously your growth spurt came later. Did that help your game?

Like, did you have, because I would assume you went from a guard to a forward. Yeah, that definitely helped me out. I was always like a one, two growing up. In fact, my dad said, let's model your game after Steve Nash. That was going to be the guy, like a smaller Steve Nash, because that was probably going to be as tall as him. And so all of our drills were like ball handling, shooting,

stuff on the outside. And then I ended up growing and kind of that stuff came with me. And is that why you had the long hair, too? Did I have the long hair? Yeah. Well, in college, you had kind of the Steve Nash. I had like the Moppy look. Yeah, I guess.

Yeah, well, what's the game about that? He's a good person to model a game after. Yeah, sweet. So Mark Titus was two years older. Did he ever haze you? He never hazed me. Him and the coach always butted heads. Oh!

Did he ever tell you about that? He was a locker room problem. Spill the beans. Yeah. I don't think he, everyone on the team loved him. But him and the coach were, like there was one time I remember, like he was good friends with Odin and Conley and all those guys. And I think they had a game, like they were playing,

I think Hansboro, like their high school was playing, and he was going to go to that game. And I remember he told coach, before practice, I need to leave at this time. So can we make practice end? Wow, what a diva. Oh my god. But like the coach would keep us there without a timeline.

I mean, if we could get out at 6, we could get out at 7, whatever. And Mark was like, dude, can I leave at this time? And coach made us run extra suicides at the end, just so he couldn't leave yet. And finally, Mark was like, this is the last one. And we ran down to the baseline. And he just ran straight out the door to his car and left. That is such a diva move.

I love it. I love it. So then you were recruited out of high school. Did you get an offer to play at Indiana? At IU? At IU? My parents were both Purdue grads. So I actually told them why you don't recruit me.

Oh, wow. You shut the door on them. Yeah. I'd rather you're a Purdue. OK. And then why didn't you go to Purdue? It just didn't feel right. Yeah, West Lafayette doesn't feel right for anyone.

Yeah. That's probably true. There's always a gray there. Do you know what Wikipedia says the reason why you didn't go to Purdue was? Does it say something along the lines of like, I wanted to be a computer engineer? Yeah, you want it to be able to wake up early to take

computer classes. Well, actually, from what I remember, I did say he asked me what my major was going to be. And I said, I don't know. But I want to try computer engineering. They have a great engineering school that's Purdue. And he said, that's not going to work. We've never, ever had a computer engineer come through the

basketball team. Right. Sorry. Yeah, that's fair. What was Coach Stevens like in the living room when he recruited you? I don't know if Coach Stevens ever came over to my house. But I do remember.

So Coach Stevens was the assistant coach when he started to recruit me. So usually how it works is like an assistant will recruit you before the head coach, right? So then I just, he was the assistant recruiting me. And then he became the head coach. So it really worked out for me. And he was exactly how he is today.

Yeah. Did you, I mean, what was it, what is it that, like, you were drawn to Brad Stevens? Obviously, part of the reason you came to Celtics was because of him. You played for him in college. What makes him different than other coaches or other people you've been around?

Well, from an X's and O's standpoint, he's one of the best, if not the best I've ever seen. I mean, it's like, when you watch, if you ever watch our games, so the Celtics games, or if you would have watched old Butler games, like after time out plays, we're getting the bucket every time. Or at least a good look. And so that, just like how he analyzed the game, how he made

it so much easier for me and for my teammates. And then just like his personality, like he wasn't going to scream at you or yell at you. He seemed pretty logical with how he did things as far as practices were concerned. We're not going to run you into the ground for three hours because you have to play this weekend. And then I also want you to be good in March, too, which I

thought was pretty cool. Was there ever a scouting tip or a game plan that he implemented that absolutely wowed you guys? Where you get in the game, you're like, holy shit, this is beating them so easily all because of what he put in there? It was almost like every game. Really? Every game, there was something.

Because from what I can remember at Butler, before we would play on a Thursday and a Saturday and the Wednesday before, we would have the second team guys. They would guard us exactly how the team we were going to play was going to guard us. And then he'd just be over there with the clipboard. And he'd be like, OK, let's try this play. Go out and do this.

And before he'd say, I was a lot of times the inbounder. And he'd say, Gordon, this guy's going to be open. They're going to switch on this man. He's going to roll to the basket. They're going to cover for him. And you're going to have somebody on the backside open. That's the one that I want you to hit. And then we'd go practice it.

Boom, exactly how he did it. So not to bring up a sore subject, but going into that national championship game against Duke, what was his game plan for that game? Because I think you guys surprised a lot of people with how competitive that game was. I mean, you should have won. But if the refs obviously hadn't gotten paid money from

Coach K, it had time. And then started going fouls the other way. Game planning for that, do you remember exactly what he told you or what the strategy was going to be? So Duke was not the most talented team that we played or had the best players that we played throughout the tournament. Take a shot at them, yes.

But they were the best coached and the most disciplined. They were kind of like us. And so for them, we went over all their players, all their players. I don't remember exactly what it was. But I mean, we had a chance to win. I felt like we should have won. How many times a week do you think about that shot?

I don't ever think about it. That's a lie. Thank you guys for bringing that up. I think about it all the time. Thank you for bringing that up. Man, I wish that Butler had beaten Duke. That would have been amazing. You'd never think about it?

In a random moment, you close your eyes. Maybe you're standing at the same part of the court. Or whatever may happen. OK, OK, OK. If I shoot half court shots in practice just for fun, then yeah, I'll think about it. It just goes right through your brain. You're like, oh my god.

I should have hit that. Right off the front of the ram. But to be honest, there was a shot. So I missed two game winners, actually. So the one before that, I had a good look. I fade away on the baseline. I get backrammed. That one taunts me a little bit.

That's actually a very football guy answer, because you missed presumably more than one other shot that game, too. So like a shot that you missed in the first half, that could be the game where you're two. So it's full of these times when you look back. I think you think about it more than anything at all. Listen, the half court shot, when I shot it,

I did not think it was close at all. Because I wasn't trying to bank it. Right. Also, oh, so when did you even count it? Because you didn't call glass. I didn't call glass glass. But the bank's open on Mondays, which I know. That's true.

So it was all good. What's the biggest difference between Coach Stevens then and Coach Stevens now? Good question, PSA. Thanks. That is a great question. Thank you. Thank you.

If you let me come back on the show after this year, I'll probably be able to answer it. Well, you're a recurring guest now. So you have to come back with ever. And you don't follow me on Twitter, but I assume you will after this. But yeah, you come back anytime. This burner does.

How many burners do you have? I don't have any burners. OK. Back to my original, good question. Your original question, to be honest, it's hard for me to answer, because I played one. I played for five minutes last year. So I don't know.

What about in pre-season? In pre-season, he seemed like he was relatively the same. What about his swag? Does he have a swag now? That's a no. That's a big no. He's got a little swag. He's got his own type of swag.

Does he glow up? Yeah, let's talk about that. Let's talk about your swag, because you went from, wow, that kid is definitely from Indiana. He definitely won a state title 40 to 39, which is such a hilarious score. That's a terrible game. Yeah, well, I would assume.

Oh, man, that guy, he could be European. He could have played in the Bulls College. He could sing from Maroon 5. What happened there? What was the process? You know, I've gotten that question a lot. The process was, I feel like I just hit puberty, to be honest. I'm still waiting.

I mean, I didn't really do much. I started to care a little bit about my hair, so I got a nice haircut. I got married. That actually did. My wife started to help me out on that front a lot. Well, I do remember. It was like, I don't know what year it was,

but there was a distinct year where you came back for the jazz, and it was like, whoa, Gordon Hayward figured out what a weight was, and how to lift them, and he got a really cool haircut. That's right. And that was it. And did people start respecting you more? I think so a little bit.

I think that helped me out. Interesting that your wife wanted to make you more hot after she married you. True. She should have just been feeding you fried food. Stopped by at low. Yeah. So high.

Yeah. Feeding you fried food. That's what she did. Getting you real fat. Yeah. Get you off the market real quick. Should we bring up the Daddy's Always Happy video? You can, if you want.

OK. Is Daddy happy, always? Yeah, always happy. Yeah. Really? I'm wearing the hat. So at what point did you, like, you clearly were not happy in that moment?

At what point were you like, I'm just going to roll with this? Was it that clear? It was that clear. Yeah, it was pretty obvious. Yeah. Everything I've ever seen. The balloon kick was the funniest thing ever.

So at what point were you like, OK, I really wore my heart on my sleeve here. And now let's just set the context. You have two little girls, third child. Right. You know, mix it up. But at what point were you like, we're just going to roll with this and embrace the fact

that I was so clearly not happy in that moment. So the thing is, like, I didn't want to do a gender reveal video. Yes. I was inside the house, probably playing on my phone or something. Everyone was outside. Robin's like, come outside.

And she had this box in there. I'm like, what are we doing? Like, I did not know this was going to happen at all. Oh, surprise. No. Like a surprise party. Like, I'm like, what's going on? She's like, oh, we're going to do a gender reveal video

right now. And she had our nanny was filming me. I'm like, why are we filming this? I don't want to be filming this. Because I didn't know what was going to happen. Right, right. You weren't prepared. I definitely wasn't prepared.

Gotcha journalist. And I was like, banking on it being a boy, which there's nothing wrong with girls. No. Both my girls are beautiful girls. I'm super happy about the third one being a girl. You sound like you're unhappy. You still sound like you're just over the moon.

And then we do the video and I didn't know how to react. Like, it was pink balloons coming out of the box again. And I think it probably, I think me and my wife fought for like 30 minutes after that. And then she was like, get over it. And I had my moment to get over it. And now it's fine. Did you get a little moment?

Yeah, you have a moment. I think all guys know like what I was feeling, which I thought was the best part of the video is I had a bunch of friends that like guy friends text me and be like, dude, I know. It was extremely relatable. That's why I went viral. Right. Then I had a bunch of other guy friends that were like,

my girlfriend is like, how could he do that? Like, why would he be so upset? Like I would kill him, like all this stuff. Did you ask whoever it was the nanny that filmed it, right? Yeah. Did you ask her to not upload it to like Instagram? Yeah, I didn't I specifically told my wife, don't upload this. I don't want this to go anywhere.

And she said, no, I don't want people to think I'm fat. They have to know that I'm pregnant. That's a good point. So that's fair by her. That's fair by her. It's fair all around. I think that we just shouldn't have gender reveal parties until the person decides, like when they're 18.

Yeah. That's what I'll do next week. Tune in next week on Part of My Take, where I'll reveal my gender. Yeah. You could still adopt somebody though. You could adopt the boy. That's true.

I have a couple ideas. So you made this a positive. You have shirts, you have hats, and all the proceeds are going to MS, MSPCC. MSPCC is for younger parents that can't afford diapers and blankets and all that stuff. Did you think about holding back a little bit of the proceeds for your daughter's therapy when she watches the video?

A little bit, maybe? No. OK, all right, all right, all right, all right. We're not going to raise sensitive. OK, yeah. And then so now here's my idea. If you were going to have a fourth child, I don't want to assume that you'll have a fourth child.

I think you need to do like a line. Your spot, yeah, you got a lot of money. You, I mean, I'm being honest, you, I would do a. By three or four girls is a. Well, here's what you do. I mean, how many times did you go? You could sell this. Keep going till you have a basketball team.

I'll tell you what, Ellen. Phillip Rivers, you guys were just talking about him. Seven. Yes. Ellen DeGeneres or ESPN. You can do the decision. And it's a gender reveal or a gender reveal. And then if it's another girl, it will be, I mean,

no, it will be a ratings finance. Paper view, get people to shell out money up front for it. It will be great too, because we could have like, we'll have a, yeah, we'll have a paper view and it will be a gender reveal. And then there'll be a room where it's just a bunch of stuff that you can smash. And then there'll be a room with like all your friends

and cigars. And it's like, where's Gordon going to go after this? Well, the trick is, I mean, I don't want to get too graphic, but the conception has to take place in a man cave. That's true. It makes the outcome more masculine. Or in the back of a pickup. OK, we'll move on.

Have you met with Bill Belichick yet? Because I feel like he would just look at you like, was it Newman looked at Kramer and thought he was like a turkey just basting in butter? He would just look at you and be like, you should wear number 81 for me. I got a chance to go to the practice facility last year when I was hurt.

And so I got a chance to meet him. It was pretty quick meeting, like five minutes. Wasn't very many words exchanged. No? That's not too many words. He was just looking at your hands like, yeah, OK, I can work with those. But it was amazing that they gave me the opportunity

to do that, because I don't think they do that with too many people. So for me to be able to go in, like I watched their whole day of practice, which was pretty cool. That is cool. So you're in Boston, the city of champions. That's what everyone's calling it. Now, how have you gotten to know the Boston media?

So people can't handle the big J's here in Boston? I think so far, they've been pretty nice to me. This whole injury thing has made it pretty easy, because I just talk about the same thing over and over. It's not like I've had a bad game and missed the last second shot or turned the ball. You know what I mean? So they've been nice to me.

OK, here, we'll give you a little test. We'll pretend to be the media here. You just had a bad game. You just shot four for 20. Gordon, talk about the game today and how you let down all your teammates. Do you think there's a chance that Coach Stevens will try to trade you?

Actually, Danny Ainge probably already has you on the block. Talk about it. That would be a typical question right there. I would say that's the lead-off question. That's pretty brutal. I think I would just avoid it completely. OK. Most of mine are just go-to cliches.

Yeah. What's your go-give us your top three. If I went four for 20, it would be like, you know what? Some days are diamonds. Some days are stones. Today was a stone. Nice. Next one will be better.

A little tip for you. Some days are diamonds. Some days are lumps of coal. But pressure makes diamonds out of coal. There it is. Is that the full? Yeah. So it's like a little almost experience.

What are your go-to cliches? Give us a couple cliches that you'd like to go to. Well, that's a good one that I like to go to. I like to give the whole like, you know, you had a great game. How were you on fire so much? Oh, you know, my teammates got me open. Great way to practice.

Yeah. Coach put me in the best places for me to be successful. And I'm just trying to out there compete, you know, and just doing my part, whatever I can to help us win. I love that I'm just out there trying to compete. That's a good one. Here's another one. OK, so Terry and Mark Smart got into a fight during the game,

and they just started throwing haymakers. And we noticed that you just stayed on the bench and didn't go help your teammates. Why do you not feel the need to defend them? Well, I was on the bench, and if I was to go on to the court, the assistants held me back. I wasn't allowed to go out there. So I didn't want to risk myself getting suspended.

Wait, so were you held back? Or did you not want to go out there? Because you answered it both ways. It was a little bit of both. Like, I started to go out there, and then they were there. They held me back. And then I thought to myself, I didn't want to get a suspension. So then I just said, OK, so you care more about your paycheck

than defending your teammates. Got it. Well, no, I can't help our team if I'm suspended. He got you there. Checkmate, he got you there. All right, you're good. You're good. You're ready to go.

What about the, you know, you obviously had the big decision, Utah to Boston. How long did it take to come to that decision? And what was going through that, you know, your mind there? So, I mean, that was one of the hard decisions I've ever had to make. What was the day that I did it was, I think, July 4th. So I think July 1st, you're allowed to talk to people.

I was, I flew to Miami. Was there July 1st, really liked it. Flew to Boston that same night, met with them July 2nd. I really liked it. Flew back to San Diego, met with Utah there, you know, all three times, like, they were all good choices. Obviously, I've had seven great years in Utah. And then I slept on it that night, July 4th.

Up until I made the decision, like, it was like 12 or, they had the whole fiasco of somebody leaking where I was going. Right. Which I still hadn't, like, I was on the phone with my agent. We were talking about it, where I was going to go when that happened. How does that happen? Do you have, like, an inner circle, a group of people

that you kind of talk through the whole decision with? And are you, like, who's the leak here? There was definitely, like, I definitely asked some people if they said anything. But, like, I hadn't, truth to be honest, like, really truthfully, I hadn't said, like, I'm going to Boston. Right. I'd said, like, I'm leaning towards going to Boston.

Well, you kind of wear your emotions on your sleeve, as we know. Oh, yeah. So you'd probably be interested. You'd probably walk around in a Celtics hat, being like, I can't make my mind up, guys. I'd be happy. I'm always happy in Utah again.

I'd be really happy in Utah. No, the way that it works, you have to text woach, like, as soon as you make up your mind, right? Like, he's the first person to do it. It seems like that's how it works. So were you really split? What was the, was it Brad Stevens, the deciding factor? What was the deciding factor?

Yeah, I mean, I think the deciding factor for me was where would I have the best opportunity to win a championship? And I felt like Boston was the best place for me to do that. Yeah, well, OK. Now, that brings up a good question here. By me, the Utah fans were not happy. There was the famous video where your jersey was burned.

And in the most Utah fashion ever, the guy said, have fun being LeBron's B-word. Careful. Didn't say the swear. He actually said the B-word. No, but be careful. So yeah, I didn't see this one. You didn't?

No, you're lying. I swear. It was a great video. I didn't see this video. Oh, we got to play it for you. Have fun being LeBron's B-word. He doesn't say, he doesn't actually say, bitch. Oh, he says B-word.

I thought you guys were just saying sorry. No, no, no, no. It is the most Utah thing ever. He says, have fun being LeBron's B-word. That sounds something like. And I'm pretty sure he had a permit to burn the jersey too. It was like in a nice circle. Like he had rocks set up so it didn't start a fire.

So wait, did you know that LeBron was going to LA when you decided to come here? Or were you just like, I'm up for the challenge, even though LeBron has kind of owned the East? No, I did not. I thought we should have beat them last year. They had the game seven. They should have beat them.

I mean, I don't know how you could say that when you lost. Well, it's the same way I can say we should have beat Duke. Yeah, OK, that one plays for sure. Yeah, that is absolutely true. You're right on there. We were up like 15 or something in that first quarter of game seven, and I thought we were going to pull away. And you guys were down two of your best players

on the team as well. That's what I'm saying. You dealt with it through the playoffs, but that actually brings up a good point. How do you come back this year, presumably, you're going to be a leader on the team, or you're expected to be a leader. You and Kyrie both.

How do you step into that role, having only played for five minutes last year? I mean, you treat it very similar to how I was going to step into it last year. Just as a veteran, you try to help these younger guys out. I think because I was out, they got experience that's invaluable. I mean, you can't teach experience.

So the fact that I was hurt most of the year, and then Kyrie goes down and puts a lot of responsibility on their shoulders, which is amazing for our team. Because I mean, I've only been in. So this is my going to be ninth year, I think, but I've only been in the playoffs once. I've been twice, but the first time I really wasn't playing. So I've really only been at a major role once.

Whereas these guys are going into their second year, they had Eastern Conference Finals. That's amazing. And so, seriously, Brad will put us in not to be a cliche, but he will put us in positions to be successful. I have no doubt about that, and we'll make it work. Was this your first major injury that you've ever had in your life? Yes.

Was there a point where, after it happened, were you just in disbelief? Like I thought I was invincible? I don't think that thought ever went across my mind, but definitely, I can remember sitting there in the back room of Cleveland, like, I can't believe this just happened. Like, did that just happen?

Did you almost have it in your mind, like people that get injured a lot, like you're different than they are? Because reaching this stage as an athlete, never having been injured, that's almost unreal. It's almost unheard of. You had to have had this confidence about you, that like, I'm not one of those guys that's injured.

I did, there were times where I thought that, and a lot of times, I personally think that the more you, like, if you train smart and train correctly in the off season, you can limit some of the injuries that you have during the season. I think this was, I mean, this was obviously one that it doesn't matter what I did. No matter what I did, yeah, it was kind of freak.

But I did have a lot of that confidence before. Yeah, you almost killed Hank. If he didn't jump, that's why me and Big Cat don't jump. Yeah, every time we get hurt, that's true. But you almost killed Hank that night, I hope you know that. So that was the night that actually our ESPN show, our one show debuted, and it was about to be canceled right before, like we got a call being like,

yeah, they're actually not gonna put it on. And maybe 10 minutes later, that happened to you. And Hank just laid, he was laying down, face on the ground, flat on the ground in our studio, and didn't say a word for like 35 minutes. Really? And I was like, he might be dead. So you almost killed a man by your ankle.

Would you like to apologize? I don't know how to respond. Yeah, I don't really know why I said that story. This is something that you definitely didn't experience. It really had nothing to do with anything. From your perspective, but it was one of those moments where you check Twitter, and Twitter is just a wall of people going, oh my God, oh my God.

Did you like check Twitter afterwards and just see everybody just like screaming online? Dude, I think I gained like 500,000 followers. Really? In like 30 minutes after that. Yeah, there you go. You should break your ankle more. Mixed blessing.

Not bad, not bad. Is Brad Stevens coaching for his job? Coaching for his job. Yeah. What do you mean? I mean, his job is to coach. Yeah. So this is coaching for his job.

His job is to coach. Yeah, yeah. So he's coaching for his job. So he's coaching for his job, right? I guess you could say that. You could say, we did say that. Yeah. You would have gotten that joke faster if you went to Purdue.

Maybe. I only went to school for two years. Yeah, yeah. That's a good point. It's a popular joke by a guy who we work with, Trill Ballons, who tweets it and gets people so mad. Every time he says, I think Brad Stevens is coaching for his job.

And everyone's like, oh my God, he's the best coach ever. It's like, no, his job is literally to coach. I see what you did there. Has Kyrie come at you with any of the Flat Earth stuff yet? We have not talked about that, no. Well, I got a trump card for him if he does. What is that? Just tell him Australia doesn't exist.

Why? Because it doesn't exist. It's a fake. It's a big fraud that's been perpetrated on us for the last, like, 600 years. OK, so what is it? All right, so it was originally found as a penal colony for people from England.

And so what they did, why would you put people in a boat, send them across the world, and like, pay to feed them? You just put them on a boat, and then you take them out to the middle of the ocean, push them over. And then they said, oh yeah, we send them off to that big penal colony. It's a glamorous island. It actually never existed.

And people who say that they're from Australia are actually from Chile. Really? Yeah. And then they just fake the accent and everything. Drop that on them. Drop that on them. Yeah.

Yeah. We have a pretty big Australian R team, Aaron Bain. Yes. You should tell him that. You should tell him that there. You should not tell him that. That might not work out for you. And then tell him to watch YouTube videos about and educate

himself and to do his own research and see what he says. I would love to hear his response to that. All right, we're going to wrap up in a second here. You're now a recurring guest, so we'll probably have you on next week. But the Seakeak question. Put in promo code take you at $10 off Seakeak.

Purchase, go to a Celtics game. See Gordon Hayward. $10 off Seakeak promo code take. Your dad gave a test. Did you do that by memory? Because you do it so fast. Yeah. But you were also looking to comment.

Yeah. I think Seakeak doesn't even get any value out of it anymore, because I say it so fast. Well, they get most of the value out of the conversations like these that we have after he's done with his ad read. About Seakeak. I got you. Yeah.

It's Seakeak, by the way, promo code take. Your dad gave a test to agents, perspective agents, when you're coming out of. You did your research. Yeah. I read all along the computer. What was on that test? My dad's a computer engineer, so he's super thorough.

And it was like a four or five page test of different questions. I didn't even read the test, to be honest. He kind of did the whole thing. But it was more of the point of it wasn't the questions. It was, will an agent go through this and actually do it? It's like a rider. It's like a draft agent, almost, too,

where they put the $100 bill at the end of the book. Yeah. It's like Motley Crue. So my dad is the one that dealt with agents throughout my last year at Butler. So I didn't know anything about what was going on. And then after the season, he's like, hey, you could potentially get drafted after this year.

We should talk about you maybe leaving. And so then I was like, oh. Was that a surprise to you? Or did you kind of know? I really did not. I was so like, seriously, he had mentioned something to me. And I said, I want you to deal with it. I don't want to deal with that stuff.

Interesting. That's wild. So you're like, oh, you mean I can be a multi-millionaire like tomorrow? Yeah. And then he was like, we should talk about it. Because after that, I was ready to come back and go back to the national championship game and whatever.

Which they did without you? Which they did without me. Yeah, that's kind of a theme of your career. It is, yeah. That was the worst game of all time. That was a bad game. That was the final score of the game, like 50 to 44. I think we shot like 22%.

If we would have shot like 25%, we would have won again. It was so bad. That was Kimba Walker, right? Yes, it was Kimba Walker's crazy run. What was the question? Oh, the interview thing. Yeah. So more than anything, it was like,

so after he sent it out to all these different agents, some of them wouldn't even fill it out. And he'd be like, all right, you're off the list. That's smart. I like that. Are you addicted to video games? Oh, good question. My wife would say yes.

OK. I would say no. What would an addiction be considered? Well, the fact that you're fighting this so much tells me that maybe you are. I like video games. What's your favorite game? You could stop anytime you wanted.

Of all time or right now? Yeah, right now. Fortnite? Probably Fortnite. I'm playing a lot of Destiny right now, Destiny 2. It's like a mix between Halo and World of Warcraft. It's nerd stuff. OK, yeah.

How many hours a day do you spend gaming? Anywhere from, like, one to three? Yes, that's a three. No, that's a three, if you're saying one to three. Do you take your video games with you on the road? I take a laptop. And you can play from there? Kind of.

The internet's usually shady and it gets pretty frustrating. So then I just watch Netflix. Yeah. All right, I'm going to show you this video to end it, because you've got to watch it. You, honestly, have never seen this video. Which video are you talking about? The Jersey Burning.

No. But I did have fans, though. Burnt Jersey's on our doorstep in Utah. No way. And we had to get security and all that stuff. All right, here we go. Let me turn it off for a while. He's burning it.

He's burning, he's camping. Going crazy, so give it to him. Goodbye, Gordon. Where's my wallet last? Thanks for betraying us. Have fun being LeBron's little B word. Little B word. Oh, my god.

Dang, that's brutal. Yo, oh, leprechaun joke there. So care to comment to that man. Yeah, who said that you betrayed him and that you're going to be LeBron's little B word. That man who used to pay your salary. Now the jazz might be LeBron's little B word. Yes.

Like worked against him. True. If you had stayed, you would have just fallen right back into LeBron's little B word. Yeah, that's right. You take LeBron left because of you. Maybe he's like, God, he's coming back next year. I got a high tier out of here.

He's going to do it. He's going to do it. All right, Gordon Hayward. This has been a ton of fun, man. Thank you. Appreciate it. You're a recurring guest. So when you come play the Knicks or the Nets,

you have to come into studio. That's part of the deal. Best of luck this year. And best of luck with your basically 100% ankle. Appreciate it. I think this interview actually made it 100%. I think so. Over the course of this?

Yeah, we're the ones. We're like electromagnetic stimulation, right? Yes, exactly. All right. Thanks, man. Thanks. That interview with Gordon Hayward was brought to you guys by Lisa. A quality night's sleep helps you recover from distractions faster,

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Get 160 bucks off a Lisa mattress. Hank, are we sure that's right? That's a lot of money. I guess, okay. They're going to be losing money. $160 off a Lisa mattress. I'm trying to sell the fucking thing, Hank. Hank, just give me a look.

What are you doing? Yeah, I think that's right. It's $160 off a Lisa mattress. That is a screaming good deal. At Lisa.com slash Barstool. That's Lisa.com slash Barstool. The interview was also brought to you by Burst eLiquids. There's a high fog advisory today at Barstool Sports,

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That's promo code PMT at vapeburst.com. Okay, let's get to some segments. I think I know what this breaking news is, because it's fucking hilarious. I have a feeling what this breaking news might be, moves might be. The Carter V is officially releasing on Thursday. Oh, okay. So that wasn't what I thought it would be.

I would like to put that on my cool throne retroactively. Lil Wayne, back. Big time back. He said he feels like Tiger Woods with this comeback. Has he stopped having strokes? Because I got very worried. I know there were seizures. Yeah.

He's okay? Yeah. I mean, he still doesn't lean, so it's like. Well, lean is, it's medicine, right? Codeine is medicine. Sure. So he's getting better. Can I do another breaking news?

Breaking news. Our once former friend and recurring guest of this program, who is no longer Michael Rapaport. He is suing Barstool. He is suing Barstool for herpes allegations. Wait. He's suing. Hold on.

Hold on. PFT. It's good. So the, the, the blast.com wrote it up said along with the money. So he's suing Barstool for $375,000. This is the guy who, by the way, tweeted when he got fired from, from Barstool and went like full nuclear. I think he tweeted about a hundred times Photoshop pictures of him fucking,

like various members of Barstool. Yep. Like basically everyone. But yes, but he's the one who's suing us. So he says along with the money, Rapaport claims Barstool engaged in a campaign to discredit and embarrass him, including accusing him of having herpes. The actor wants to make it clear in legal documents that he does not have herpes.

So we will make it clear right now. Michael Rapaport does not have herpes. He doesn't have herpes. Doesn't. I don't know why anyone's saying there's that picture out there that looks like he has herpes, but he doesn't. Michael Rapaport does not have herpes. And I would tell everyone to please Google the Streisand effect and then laugh at the

whole thing. Yeah. Hey, does not have herpes. Hey Michael. Hey, we named, we named a drink after you. It's just, it's just a red dot from seven up. The way, the best way to make sure everyone knows that you do not have herpes is to sue someone and say you need it in a legal document saying you do not have herpes.

Discovery. Discovery is going to be amazing. So he's going to have to do like a blood test. Does he know that? We named Michael Portnoy Esquire on the stand asking him whether or not he has herpes. Does he know that like three quarters of the population in the United States have herpes? Yeah. Pretty sure everyone does.

Yeah. It's like, it's like eating spiders. Yeah. If you do. If you don't have herpes, you might as well just get out. Right. Because you're obviously not cool. You don't party.

Right. You don't have a beer bottle. Yeah. You've never even put your mouth all the way onto the faucet at like a drinking fountain. Chaps has herpes. Yeah. Chaps has herpes. Our friend Chaps has herpes.

I've had a cold sore before. Yeah. It was like 10 years ago. That's herpes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Let's do some segments.

First up, we have a new segment. It's called nitpicking Saban. So if you heard on Monday, we're talking about football guys, Nick Saban ended his press conference on Saturday saying, I would appreciate it if you guys picked some of the things that we did wrong instead of just saying we're so great imploring the media to say negative things about Nick Saban. So guess what, Nick? As journalists, we are going to do your job for you and we're going to tell you what you're

doing wrong. You want to start? Yeah. Well, I mean, his defense hasn't shut anybody out this year. True. Can't stop a nosebleed. He's also pretty short and he's got a little bit of a hair thing going on. You know, I don't know.

It's thinning. It's going gray. It's not gray. It's thinning. Do you're mad because I said the short thing? No, he's not. Yeah. I know you are.

How tall is he? He's like five, eight. He's very short. Actually not short. Yes. He's very, very short. But he's got a little hair thing, a little crazy little urn mackrackin thing going on. Oh, Nick Saban actually five, six.

Oh, okay. So you're right. He's very short. Yeah. I tower over that guy. Not his regular short. No, I'm perfectly average. Let's see.

What else? Why'd you go on your tippy toes? You're always, Nick Saban's like always weirdly tan. Yes. That's a good point. Even though he wears those big straw hats. Very good point. Yeah.

So what's up with that Saban? I've always thought that the Alabama Maroon uniforms look kind of slow. Have you ever thought that? Yeah. I always just thought that like whenever they put on the maroons at home, they just look a little slow. They're a little dull. Yeah.

I don't even think they're that good of a football team, but their uniforms kind of lull the opposition into a false sense of security. You're like, look at these guys look like they're on the movie Forrest Gump. Yeah. They're probably not even going to throw a forward pass. Trent Richardson was a bust. He was a big time bust. Well, he might go to the Hall of Fame, but other than that, he's a bust.

He's a bust. Rolando McClain was a bust. Yes. Yes. I'm pretty sick. I'm getting pretty sick of Marty Smith, who's basically, I think he's Nick Saban's son. No. Well, he's, he's Davos Sweeney's son.

Oh, no, I'm pretty sure he's Nick. But he's cousins with Nick Saban. Oh, got it. Got it. Got it. Hey, Nick, this is me, Marty. I just came down here because gosh, dang it, you run such a cool program. It's fun to watch y'all play.

And certainly my daddy told me when I was a little bitty boy, he said, you find you a coach that's a little bit short, someone that looks up at you and you'll end up looking right back up at him later, man. Okay. So that's Marty Smith slash, I don't know who else. Matthew McConaughey. There's a little bit of Matthew McConaughey. All right.

All right. All right. I also think by the way that their stadium is kind of boring. Just everything about Alabama is really important. Yeah. It's a factory. It's, it's, uh, it's industrial. He based sterile.

He runs football jail. Yeah. Right. So there you go, Nick Saban. We nitpick the fuck out of you. Okay. Next up, we have a stick to sports. I do have something actually to say about you.

His collars are not good. And I'm not just saying this because of the Colangelo thing. When he wears a golf shirt, he, he has the thing happen all the time where his collar gets really flat. Yeah. And it doesn't like, he doesn't have that nice crease in it. Sad. He's that humidity.

Yeah. And Alabama just flattens it out. Flattens it right out. We have a stick to sports for Jason Witton. What do you say? Yeah. Last night on Monday football and Monday night, um, you know, there were a ton of roughing the pasture penalties and everybody was getting like a little bit upset about it.

And Jason Witton's reaction was, uh, the NFL has overreacted to some of this left wing stuff. And that's why you're seeing more penalties called. So, uh, Jason Witton. So he went there. So stick to sports, Jason. Well, I mean, let's embrace debate. Are the new rules, is it liberal to want to see fewer concussions?

Yes. Agreed. Because the vast majority of doctors in this country spend an extra, I don't know, what, four, eight years? Yep. I don't know how long it takes to get there. In their safe space. Yep.

Uh, in a university environment. Yep. So by the time they get out, they're indoctrinated. They're a little snowflake. They're, they're full on, uh, a snowstorm. Yeah. And so they're like, oh, uh, this person has a concussion. Yeah.

Oh, we should have let them back into the game. Oh, give them. Oh, is your widowhead okay? Give them an avocado. Maybe. He'll give them a Wallypop instead of wetting him, go back out there and wet in his head, get destroyed. Uh, Jason Winton, I think that our theory, by the way, is accurate that they are showing

him in the booth more often than anyone has ever been shown in the booth just to show us that he is, in fact, a human being. Yeah. They do it like six times a game and cut to the booth. You can tell that Boogers already getting pissed off. Oh, yeah. Boogers so mad that he's on the side of that fucking chair as soon as he gets the seatbelt off.

Yeah. It's so funny. Moving down the sidelines in his chair, he's like getting, like, pushed down the sidelines and he's like yelling at Jason Winton in the booth. He's like, hey, lay on the bell, maybe, or up in the booth, they were saying like, they were taking the stealers side and the little lay on the bell thing. And then Boogers was like, but he's only got really one chance to get a good contract. So isn't that important to him?

Yeah. And then Jason Winton was like, ah, you know, I don't know. I don't know. Okay. Back to us. Yeah. Back to us up here where we get to control the dialogue. We have a take quick.

What was your take quick? Yeah. I got a take quick right here. Let me pull it up. This comes to us from Arkansas online. So you will recall that they played Auburn last weekend and they got beaten 30, 43. Oof. Okay.

And that seems bad. And there was a take in there written by Wally Hall. Now you would think that that's a bad score. His name's Wally Hall. Wally Hall. Okay. And so he says the hogs were better everywhere, but on special teams, which were unspecial enough to handcuff the hogs start to finish, the 34 to three score was not indicative of

how well the Razorbacks played. Special teams played dictated that score. So the better team didn't win. The better team. No. Arkansas outplayed them. Except for the score. Yeah.

I love the better team didn't win argument. So funny because it's like, uh, who, we had that, oh, it was the Bears and the Cardinals. People were saying the bet, the better team didn't win. Oh, no, no, no. Sorry. It was Wisconsin, Iowa. People were saying Iowa was the better team except for a couple fumbles on special teams. Well, special teams are part of the game and not fucking up is also part of the game.

Better team one. Yes. So, um, they, they also said that Mel Zahn, Gus Mel Zahn, who had just beat Ravel Alabama kept his cards close to the vest, but is known around here. He was wanting a contract extension and a raise. And they say after Saturday night, no one should say the Razorbacks didn't end up with the better coach. The hogs won the battle on the trenches and on many of the stats, except for the one that

matters the most. That one is in lights on the scoreboard and determines winners and losers. Saturday night was not a moral victory for Morris. He doesn't believe in those. And then finally for Morris, he says what he believes in is hard work, performance and a winning attitude. And that message was made loud and clear last Sunday. So I think we got a, we, I think we have to give them that win.

Yeah. I'm convinced. Yeah. 34 three, but kind of dominated everything else. They did more yards, which I guess more yards and a good game plan. Yeah. Great game plan. Great game plan.

Limited them to only 34. Wait, was that the one that had the, the fake fair catch? No, that happened against Arkansas the week before. Okay. Gotcha. Yes. Well, they, they didn't get fake fair catched again this week. So that's another improvement.

That's a very big improvement. Okay. Uh, before we get to guys on chicks, finally we have a breaking case of emergency, Jimmy Butler trade, because I guarantee you we're taping this around five o'clock. I guarantee you, Jimmy Butler is going to get traded the minute that we get home tonight. So breaking case of emergency, Jimmy Butler trade. If he got traded, listen to this, if he didn't, you can just skip ahead. Wow.

Jimmy Butler got traded. He got traded to the clip heat Miami heat. Yeah. No, Pat Riley's after him and Pat Riley want what Pat Riley wants. Pat Riley gets it. Yeah. And plus you've got Gabby down there and we all know how Jimmy Butler feels about her from the Instagram posts.

Yep. D weight and him. That's true. They have a little bit of a rapport back and forth. That's right. Yeah. Wow. I like that.

Yeah. He was just a fan of the nips. Jimmy Butler. So Jimmy Butler with the heat, do they compete in the East? Yeah. I'd say that they're probably the second three or four seed. Yeah. I'd say it goes Washington wizards.

No. Boston Celtics, Miami heat. I'm going to go with probably the Celtics. No. I'm going to go with the Raptors, the Celtics, the heat. Oh, you think the Raptors got it first time? Oh yeah. Kauai.

I'm a really fun guy. I'm a really fun. So Jimmy Butler. Wow. Can't believe you got traded. Switches the balance of power. Yeah. Okay.

Wait. What did they give up for him? Well, they traded a pick and a contract to the Kings. They traded an expiring contract to the Kings and then the Kings took on some cap space. Wait. They traded a trade machine. Yep. Okay.

Kings take on cap space. And then a pick went to the. Protected. Yeah. Pick went to the wolves. Protected pick goes to the timber wolves. And I don't know who else. Protected top three.

Oh. Project. Justice Winslow went to the wolves as well. Okay. That's a big trade. Yeah. It's a huge trade and a pick. Yeah.

Okay. Let's finish up with guys on checks. Imagine if we were right. That'd be amazing. I just set it off top of my head. I don't even know. Yeah. Hey, PMT boys, especially big cat.

Hmm. Do boys notice eyelashes on a girl? I was thinking about getting extensions, but they're expensive. Thanks. No. Uh, yes. No. Yes.

But, but the thing, we notice them, but we don't notice them. If that makes sense. If you're looking at girls eyelashes, she has the right to say my eyes are down here. I look at a girl with like eyelash extensions and I'll walk away being like, wow, she has really pretty eyes. And then later on I'll be like, Oh, she she fooled me. Yeah. No.

It's not something that guys are trained to look for. I don't. I do not know. I would notice if he didn't have eyelashes, but I don't think I would notice any varying length of eyelashes. You would, but you wouldn't know. It's also one of those things. Yeah.

Where, where a guy's like, I like a girl who just like doesn't really need makeup. And then the girl's like, you know, I put on makeup every day. Yeah. You look so much prettier without makeup. I put on makeup every day. Yeah. For you fucking idiot. Yeah.

I'm going to be 38 weeks pregnant on Saturday. Congrats. How long is that? 38 weeks. Oh, Bubba's wait. Let Bubba do it. He's, I see his face. He's in pain.

No, Bubba. Not nine and a half months. Nine and a half months would be very, very bad. There's four weeks in a month. Yeah. But some, some weeks have, some months have like four and a half. Yeah. Yeah.

Two and a half. So 38, 38. So it's like, she's like nine months. She's about to pop. Yeah. Bubba was right. She was close. She was close.

But nine and a half would be a problem. So she's ready to explode. Yeah. And I'm wondering. By the way, don't do that to us. Your baby also. Just say it in months. Don't do the, don't do the weeks.

No. This is going to be a parent who's like, how old is your baby? They're like, my baby is 29 months old. It's 16. What the fuck? It's two. It's 16 weeks. Yeah.

Yeah. Also this baby. Don't make me do math. Already a millennial. It's staying at home with its mom. It's in its mom's basement. So. Yeah.

Get out. Get a job. So I'm going to labor before my due date. How will, how will I know when I'm in labor? Your due date already passed, so you already fucked that out. If you're going by Bubba's math, you are way past it. All right. So you go into labor when your water breaks.

So just don't drink any water. And it can't break. Yeah. The baby will love it. If it feels like a fart, it's probably a baby. That's the old saying. Also, I think if you just, like there's gravity that pulls the baby out. So if you just sleep upside down all the time, you won't get to labor.

Haley back machines. Yeah. But this is probably Todd Haley's wife. Yeah. Super pregnant. She's like, I'm under strict instructions to not give birth till after football season. Hey, guys, especially all of you, because I love you all equally.

Ooh, nice. Stop. Why is it a good idea to drink lots of cranberry juice when you get a UTI? Please help. Please. That's a good question. Good question.

So I think it's because the cranberries are very bitter, and your pee is very, was it basic? And cranberries have acid in them? I just know the departed scene when he smashes the drink. He's like, what, are you on your period? Yeah. I honestly think it was just. That's all I know about that.

This is a big, big scheme by Ocean Spray to try to sell more cranberry juice. Yeah. Because nobody drinks it. It's actually fucked up, because you feel shamed by drinking cranberry juice. Cranberry juice is delicious. It's the cosmos.

Fuckin' cran? All day. What's up, dudes, especially PFT? My question is, how come when a new mom hears another baby cry, they leak milk? That's not true. It is true. Very true.

It is? Yeah, I've seen it happen. So it's on the office. I saw it on the office. It's like when I watch a Burger King commercial, my mouth waters. Yeah, or when you watch porn, a little pre-com comes out. Yeah, that's exactly it.

If you're turned on enough. If you hear a woman moan. That's a woe for me. I did not know that. It's actually the exact same response as watching porn and getting a boner, is when a woman hears a baby cry, they're like, oh, my body needs to feed that thing.

Got it. What would happen if there was a baby crying around me? You would probably lactate with those pepper. Marinerous sauce would come out. It's only a new mom, though. Oh. OK, well, I'm not a new mom. Not that you know of.

Ho! OK, last one. I need your help. So me and my ex were separated for a few months and got back together. We've been hanging out, going to family events, and even sleeping together again. We say we love each other and act as a couple again,

but he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend. He even addressed me as a friend when someone asked who he was with on the phone. Oh. Any advice? Fake pregnancy. That's an easy one. I like that.

Are fake a death? Fake a death in the family. No, she's fake. No, be like, yeah, my grandfather died. Can you come to the funeral? Have your friend. As my boyfriend, can you come to the funeral? But she says they've been going to family events.

OK, here's where big guys say wrong. But there's real family events. The cat doesn't know how to talk to women. Here's what you do. You have your best friend call him and be like, hey, I'm sorry to tell you this, but your friend passed away. The funeral is on Saturday. See if he shows up with another girl to the funeral.

Once he knows you're out of the picture, does he bring a date to your funeral? That doesn't sound right at all. I would say, yeah, you're fucked. He's just get away from him. He doesn't respect you. So you need to dump his ass. But you're not really dating again.

So actually, don't say dump his ass, because then he'll be like, huh, we weren't dating. Just I don't know what you do here. Fake a UTI. Just hook up with his best friend. There it is. Thanks, Hank. We finally got it.

All right. We'll see you everyone Friday, NFL Week 4 preview. Get excited. See you then. Love you guys. Bye. If you want to watch the Spider-Man video, you can watch the video on the right.

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