Pardon My Take - Hall Of Famer Morten Andersen, Mt Rushmore W/ Jerry O'Connell, And Fyre Fest Of The Week
Episode Date: August 23, 2019Week Zero is here and we're juiced up for College Football Saturday night. (2:54-9:56) Brooks Koepka and Phil Mickelson showed some skin. (10:34-14:04) Fyre Fest of the week including the Amazon is ju...uling and Big Cat is drinking black coffee. (14:05-21:53) Jerry O'Connell joins the show to talk about his new show, filling in for Wendy Williams, Fantasy Football, and the Mt Rushmore of Fantasy draft positions. (23:43-45:08) Hall of Famer Morten Andersen joins the show to talk about his 3 decade + career in the NFL, playing with legends, his comeback at the end of his career and more. (48:28-1:20:21) Segments include thoughts and prayers Hue Jackson and the fired coach feature,(1:21:23-1:27:11) way to stay relevant baseball dick pills,(1:27:12-1:29:14) and FAQ's (1:31:33-1:39:27)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
or YouTube.
Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music.
On today's pardon my take, we have Morton Anderson, Hall of Famer Morton Anderson, one
of those interviews where we didn't expect it to happen.
He actually hit us up.
He was coming through New York.
He and his son are huge AWLs, so it was an awesome interview.
We talked about the kicking career, probably the best kicker of all time.
We talked about his comeback.
We also have our good friend Jerry O'Connell on the show in studio to do the worst slash
best Mount Rushmore.
We will do all summer.
It is the Mount Rushmore of fantasy football selection, draft selection numbers, and it
was just as confusing as I just said it.
So it is stupid, it's funny, and Jerry is the man.
We also have a little fire fest, and what are we going to do today, Hank?
Jimbo's, we'll do, no, we're doing FAQs.
We have all that ready to go before we do that.
Pardon my take is brought to you by the Cash App, the number one finance app in the App
Store.
Cash App is the most powerful way to send, spend, and save.
It's connected to the free cash card, the only debit card with boosts.
Just select a boost in your Cash App that instantly saves some of your favorite places
like 10% Chipotle or $1 off at all coffee shops.
They're always adding new boosts, so check yours often, best of all, boosts are like
unlimited coupons, so you can use them over and over, and if you're not ready to switch
debit cards, you don't have to.
Cash App lets you instantly transfer funds to your cash card for free, so when you see
a boost you like, just add the funds, swipe, and save.
Cash App is also the most convenient way to buy Bitcoin.
Most Bitcoin exchanges require five days or more for bank transfers to become investable.
With Cash App, they only take seconds.
Download the Cash App from the App Store or Google Play Market today, and Cash App is
bringing back a great initiative for our AWLs.
If you download the Cash App and enter the referral code BARSTULE, you'll receive $5
and they will donate and send $5 to one of our favorite charities, the ASPCA.
Do it for the animals and be a lover.
Download the Cash App today, enter code BARSTULE, get some money, and save some animals.
Okay, let's go.
Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by the Cash App.
Go download the Cash App right now, put in code BARSTULE.
You get $5 off and you get $5 to the ASPCA, that's $5 actually for free.
Today is Friday, August 23rd, am I right?
Yes, I'm right.
And Football Week Zero is here.
I'm so excited.
You hear that sound, Big Cat?
You hear that sound?
Yeah.
You know what that sound is?
It's people finally getting mad about sports again.
And that's what I love the most about the start of football season, is you can finally
find a release for all this anger you've pent up, because it actually makes you feel better
to get mad about arguing about sports.
And now that we have real games, it's time to get angry.
I watched it happen slowly on my timeline, my Twitter timeline, the last few days.
The change of like baseball, people still fucking talking about basketball, shut up,
you nerds, into football where everyone has the previews and their predictions and their
fantasy football and their weird fantasy football podcast gets announced and all this stuff
happens and it's slowly the tides turn and it's like we walk into a room with all of
our friends and we're like, hey, we're back.
This is great.
I've noticed a few like of those basketball nerds be like, hey, 60 days till the NBA season
starts.
No.
58 days.
Shut the fuck up.
This is our time.
We get this.
We have the entire fall.
No one cares about your sport until after the Super Bowl, Football Week Zero, meaningful
football is back.
Well, people start caring about the NBA on Christmas Day.
That is the official start of the season.
They should just start it at that point and then move on from there because yeah, football,
we own the fall.
That's actually a great idea for a t-shirt.
We own the fall.
Fuck, that's good.
The falls are for the boys.
Falls for the boys.
I like it.
You're right.
You see people talking about actual meaningful shit now when it comes to sports.
We can forget about getting upset about stupid and consequential stuff like climate change
or which colors are the best and arguing about that and we can finally get into getting
mad about sports.
I fucking love it.
There's all these storylines that I had forgotten about over the summer that I'm getting reintroduced
to and I love it.
I'm rediscovering what I'm excited about and the first thing that I saw when I was reading
these previews for the Miami, Florida game, we were going to have a fucking Australian
punter with neck tattoos, six foot four weighing 245 pounds.
I was watching punting highlights today and I was getting excited about it.
We also have the classic.
I'm so happy they started with these two teams because the entire broadcast is going
to be talking about returning to glory and will are these team officially back?
Can we get back to, you know, Steve Spurrier, Tim Tebow, Urban Meyer, Florida?
Can we get back to the U in the 80s and early odds and guess what?
On Saturday night, Imagine Dragons is going to hit and it's going to feel so damn good.
I assume that Imagine Dragons has a has a song for this college football season because
if they don't, then like the whole world, that's actually more of a pressing issue than
climate change.
As if Imagine Dragons, if we turn on our ESPN on Saturday night and it's some random band
we've never heard of.
So I'm just going to assume it's Imagine Dragons and I'm going to say I'm already got chills.
Yes.
Even if it's fallout, boy, that counts as Imagine Dragons, I would say 30 seconds.
That counts as imagine technically that is Imagine Dragons.
If you're watching like a preview for a Saturday night football game, yeah, Maroon five, they're
hard stuff.
That also counts as Imagine Dragons.
If you're drunk enough, Maroon five could be considered Imagine Dragons like yes, agreed.
Yes.
I'm looking forward to it.
I had Imagine Dragons.
Yes.
Yes.
I'm looking forward to Dan Mullins walking the sideline.
Dan Mullins.
Look, he's got like a big wide face and he always looks concerned about stuff.
He always looks like he's he's convincing his body not to turn into Brett Bieloma's body
just by like the sheer force of will.
I'm looking forward to that.
I'm looking forward to the return of Manny Diaz, former Temple head coach, making his
return to the U this weekend, trying to bring him back.
There's just so many awesome storylines and Manny Diaz is the perfect type of Miami coach
where he walked in the door and was like, I'm bringing the U back and then immediately
started doing shit that pissed everyone off and was slightly shady.
And that is like, you can't go down to Miami and be like, you know what, we're going to
just out recruit everyone by by getting there and knocking on doors.
No, Manny Diaz had that boat party that he went through Miami and was blasting and he
I think he did something where he showed up to another guy's football camp.
He's doing the things that brings Miami back.
So I'm all in on Manny Diaz.
And yeah, I'm just excited.
This is this just like five minute talk has me excited to be about the turnover chain.
Is the turnover chain back or did it get to Dunn chain?
Did they pick the Dunn chain on the turnover chain?
Two chains?
I mean, Paul, Paul, Chris killed the Dunn chain.
I mean, the turnover chain he did when Paul Chris, who has, well, he's like, he never
swears in his entire life.
His mom literally yelled at him for swearing on national television.
Real swag is no swag.
Turnover chain.
My ass.
I think when the the Wisconsin head coach, who the only thing he changes in his outfit
is which shade of gray he wears on his hoodless sweatshirt.
And he says turnover chain.
My ass.
It's over.
And they tried it last year and it was weird and awkward.
So I think it's over.
I think it's done.
They should just make it a turnover jewel.
Just like a ring or what?
No, like a jewel that you you're going to lose.
Oh, like you vape.
Yeah.
Oh, like a double.
No, it's done.
The players aren't allowed to vape.
So it's like, if you get it, if you catch an interception, like this is your chance.
That's not bad.
I could I could see like Fresno State getting into that.
You thought it was like a diamond, like you were talking about jewelry.
My brain naturally followed to like, is it a gemstone?
What are we talking about?
You're far gone.
Far over the jewel.
Oh, yeah.
I'm smoking heavy cigarettes now.
My jewel days are in the past.
I'm strictly on a health regimen.
It should actually be a cardboard cut out of jewel the singer and then you hook a vacuum
up to her mouth, the back of her mouth and then you have her jewel actual.
She blows the jewel smoke through her missing tooth.
Yes.
Boom.
Done.
And then she's got bling bling jewels in her ears.
If Alaska had a football team that would, you know what, Jewel lived her entire life
on grit week.
I don't know if you know this about her.
She lived out of a van for like six years when she was trying to make it.
Yeah.
We know.
She every song was about that.
Yeah.
I didn't.
This is kind of dating yourself.
I was actually watching the roast of Rob Lowe the other day and she was on it.
And I was like, I have no idea who this is, but they kept referencing her and roasting
her.
But yeah, that's she should make a comeback by just changing the spelling of her name
to J U U L Jewel was Rihanna before Rihanna.
I'll say it.
What?
That's strong.
What?
That's strong.
All right.
Let's, um, we also have to, before we get to our firefest of the week and then we have
Mount Rushmore with Jerry O'Connell and more, uh, sorry, Morton Anderson coming up with
a great interview.
We got to do a barstoolgold.com slash PMT.
Go get it right now.
You can watch Morton Anderson in studio and we also have new shirts coming out for the
fall.
We have coach.
Oh, hold that tiger shirts coming out for, uh, right now they're out, they're out and
get ready because we've got some Larry shirts coming up.
We know what knows what they look like, but we have some Larry shirts coming out in a
week and we'll sell the stock like we always do and get Larry into the super contest.
By the way, someone remind me on Monday, I have to get Larry into the super contest
before put a calendar in.
Someone remind me that because I'm totally going to forget and then we actually will
be committing fraud.
Yes.
First Larry to ever make it to two seasons.
Well, let's now, let's not count our goals before, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Yeah.
So Larry still has like a week and a half to make it, uh, but yeah, he would be the
very first Larry to survive for a full off season and it's tough.
He's John.
It's tough on us.
Yeah.
And the whole move.
That's true.
And a move.
God damn.
Shout out spider.
Yeah.
Shout out spider.
He kept Larry alive.
All right.
So before we get to fire fest, uh, we had two golf visuals.
We have to talk about Phil Mickelson now has a six pack, I think, and, uh, is skinny.
And then Brooks Kepka, just an absolute man rocket, did the body issue.
And I think everyone came in their pants right away.
Yeah.
Just guys being nudes, just Blake showing off on the golf course, the old 19th hole
behind him.
He looked good.
He was intimidating.
I saw today on the golf course, he was wearing a pair of Nike shoes, but he was doing the
thing that the kids do and he left the tag on it off lights, off lights, dude.
Yeah.
Pretty sick.
Come on.
I don't know how comfortable I am with, with the idea of golfers getting hot because that
was always a sport that you could just like point out and be like, I'm probably in better
shape than a lot of these guys.
But uh, Phil, Phil concerns me.
Like I don't think that's a healthy body type for Phil.
His body has to be just so confused after living for how many years, like 45 years, just
as kind of like a lump of clay and now he's sculpted.
It's weird.
It's a weird transition for him.
It's a weird transition.
But Phil, it also might be the only guy, I think he looks worse when he has clothes
on cause I didn't think he had that underneath him.
And then when you see him with a T-shirt, you're like, Oh, he's still got those man boobs.
No problem.
So maybe he just hasn't changed his clothes, but I agree.
Phil Mickelson getting skinny.
That's, that shouldn't happen.
That, that fucks up the whole everything we know about golf and Phil Mickelson.
I can't root for him when I see him like that Brooks on the other side.
I mean, I said it, but it's basically the difference between tasteful nudes and gross
nudes.
Phil Mickelson, gross nude, Brooks, tasteful nude.
Agreed.
I think Brooks looks, looks fantastic.
I think they should have asked that guy, a fib barn rat.
Is that the guy's name that, that vapes out there?
Yeah.
Speaking of vaping, they should just ask him to be in the body issue, just covering up
his genitals with a sick cloud.
There's like a big exhale.
That would have been, that would have been awesome.
I feel like it was the reverse of Phil though, whereas like I thought Brooks would be a little
more jacked, but once the shirt came off, it was like a little,
how could you say that?
Dude, Brooks, I'm just being honest.
Brooks has a good body.
He looks like he's got guns on the course and there wasn't, you know, as much definition
as I was expecting.
No, he's a smooth boy.
I did like the fact that he had the farmer's tan, though, like they didn't airbrush that
out.
That was nice.
Hank, how could you say that?
He was a fucking chiseled Adonis, dude.
He didn't have one ounce of fat on that body.
I thought he looked great.
And like, so the one thing about golfers is their, their tans, like between the farmer's
tan and the forehead tan, that you can't Photoshop those.
That's how strong the sun is.
The sun can defeat computer programming.
The fucking sun.
Yes.
Yes.
The fucking sun.
Hank, I actually, I think that was fair of you to be honest, but you obviously were
wrong.
You know that, right?
Of course.
Yeah.
He looked great.
Yeah.
Brooks, he looked great.
Another fun fact about Blake that Liam pointed out to me is that those shoes that you're talking
about with the tag, you made that same joke because Blake Griffin was wearing those
same exact shoes in the van on a great week.
Oh, okay.
So he was doing a little swagger jacking of Blake Griffin.
He was a little Blake on Blake violence.
He saw, he saw what the Blake of the year had to do to win.
So he was trying to take those steps.
Okay.
I like it.
I like it.
He's a competitor.
Yeah.
It's a copycat leak.
All right.
Let's do our firefests.
Hank, why don't you start?
My first firefests is I still haven't got that laundry bag.
I think about it every morning.
Every single morning I'm like, fuck, God damn, I wish I had that thing.
Maybe this weekend.
You got to stick to the bag.
There's going to be some dry cleaner walking around Brooklyn wearing just like a shitload
of obscure Barstool merchandise from seven years ago.
Yeah.
And then my second, so that's my real pressing firefest of the week.
My second one is that I sit next to Marty Mush, who's like Barstool's gambling guy.
He just gambles all day, every day.
He was preaching yesterday about the Tigers plus 400, got to take him, got to take him,
got to take him.
Oh.
I am in my head because he's always like spouting off.
I was like, Oh no, like you sound crazy.
I would never do that.
Maybe I thought about it for a second.
Like you think I should.
He's like, yeah.
And I was like, why?
He's like, just cause it's plus 400.
And I was like, forget about it, Marty.
You're dumb.
Of course they won.
Of course it hit.
Yeah.
So that was tough.
Even a blind pig finds an acorn.
That's what we say.
That was the second time.
I think the tie, I think the Ashles have been on the wrong side of the two biggest upsets
in MLB history, like in the last decade, and it's happened in the last three weeks.
They lost the Orioles a couple of weeks ago, plus 385 or something than this, the Tigers
Hank.
That's one of those bets.
If you get it on your radar, you have to take it.
It's like doing an office pool for, for the, you know, power ball.
Yeah.
If someone mentions it, you have to do it because if you don't, you know it will hit.
A little spin zone for you though, Hank.
If you had won that bet, you probably wouldn't have wagered like a regular unit for yourself
since it was such a heavy underdog.
And then when you win those bets, the first thing that you do, you're like, shit, I should
have bet a lot more money on it.
So you saved yourself of thinking about what might have been true.
True.
But yeah, there you go.
You're right though, big cat.
It was like all day.
I was like, what?
Like you're an idiot.
You should have just done it and not thought about it.
But whatever.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
PFT.
What do you got?
My firefest of the week is that the Popeyes chicken sandwich has been sold out all week
during lunch and I haven't been able to get it.
I've tried very hard.
I had it last week.
So that was cool.
But once, once you start thinking about Popeyes, just like you guys were talking about, like
when you hear Powerball, when you hear somebody say Popeyes chicken sandwich or you see one
of five million people tweeting about it, you want to get it.
And every single place in New York has been sold out of chicken.
I don't know how you sell out a chicken, but they've managed to do it.
And so I've just been feeding one all week long because I got to try the spicy.
I've had the regular, but I haven't had the spicy one yet.
I've been lost on this whole entire thing that Popeyes.
The fact that Popeyes didn't have a chicken sandwich is a shock to me.
And then the fact that everyone is going crazy for it is even more shocking because it's
like, it's a chicken sandwich, you can get chicken sandwich anywhere, right?
It's a good sandwich.
It's very, very good.
Unpopular opinion, the Popeyes chicken sandwich is good.
I'll die on that hill.
You should, you should get it.
No, it's, it's really good.
And I need to have another one.
I might, I've thought about actually walking to a Popeyes.
That's how, that's how pressed I've been to get this sandwich is I've thought about walking
like six blocks to purchase one, which is that's insane.
Yeah.
My other fire festival week is the Amazon rainforest is on fire, but whatever.
Yeah, it's, it's only the earth's lungs.
Yeah, probably happens all the time.
Yeah.
We're, we're basically just vaping a lot.
The earth is just in their teenage vaping.
Yeah.
Is the Amazon rain?
Is that, does that have anything to do with Jeff Bezos?
Did he sponsor it?
The, the, the failing Amazon rainforest, the very unfairly lit it on.
Yeah.
He probably lit it on fire with his drones that were just flying around, just delivering
packages to random places.
Good point.
Yeah.
They probably just dropped by mistaken incendiary bomb that was meant to be sent
to like some weirdo in Idaho.
They dropped it in Brazil instead.
Get, get Jared in a water bottle down on the first plane down there.
Take care of it.
Ooh.
Yeah, that's true.
Jared Goff could save that entire thing right now.
All right.
My fire fest.
I have two.
One is Max Kellerman keeps talking about how he created the boat and it's
pissing me off.
I'm at the point now where I'm just going to do passive aggressive things where
I retweet every time he says it to let other people attack him because I'm so
frustrated that he actually thinks he created it.
And I actually don't know, I don't know if we even created it.
I think gas might have created it.
Hey, Blake created it.
Yeah, it wasn't us.
Blake might have created it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It can't, yeah.
Right.
It came from this like our little world, but I don't, I'm not even saying that I,
you know, that this show specifically created it.
I think it was someone in the barstool world slash Blake and it's been around for
five years now and the fact that Max Kellerman thinks he just made it up on the
spot yesterday is driving me insane.
Yeah.
And he's, he's very, uh, he's, he has no shame about it whatsoever.
He's been saying like, I just came up with this.
Isn't that great that I came up with this?
He's retweeting people being like, Hey Max, I'm so excited that you came up with
the term boat.
And he's like, yeah, I know that was, that was it.
That was my biggest hit since that awkward rap video that got leaked like six months ago.
Max, those fucking people are our fans and they're being sarcastic.
You dumb piece of shit.
It's true.
Yeah, they are.
Yeah.
Let's see how many people, you know what, do this tomorrow.
Tweet at Max Kellerman and say thanks for creating the boat.
And then we need to put a code word in there so they know that.
So we know it's our fans.
The code word is, uh, I'm trying to think.
Oh, no, how about the one that would get under his skin a lot like, um, skip.
The code word is skip somewhere in the tweet.
Yeah.
Hey, yeah.
Hey, uh, I'm really Max.
Thanks.
Go ahead.
I'm really glad I don't have to skip first take anymore.
Now that you guys are coming out with great terms like the boat, something like that.
Yes.
Shout out Max.
Maybe capitalize the S and skip occasionally.
I don't know.
Yes.
We'll see.
Perfect.
Perfect.
Um, all right.
So we, I also have, uh, I've been switching to black coffee because I'm
trying to like watch my diet because I have a kid and I don't want to die early
and all this fucking stupid shit that you have to do.
Like it's so lame that I have to actually think about this stuff now, but I've
switched to black coffee and it's the worst, but your kids smoke all the time.
So is it milk?
Yeah, I know, but no, I think you're supposed to drink it until a certain
like until you hit, uh, what's it called?
Not menopause.
It's not puberty.
Yeah.
Menopause.
When your metabolism goes down and your tits get big menopause.
Yeah.
Dude, it's got bones though.
Yeah.
And Jim Harbaugh would be very upset with you about all this quitting milk.
It sucks, dude.
It sucks, but it does feel badass to say to everyone when they're like, do you
want a little cream?
You're like, huh?
Yeah, between, but then I like cry a little bit as I drink it because I'm
like, this is just garbage.
I feel like when you drink black coffee, you end up drinking like two
sips and always throw it away.
No, black coffee.
I think I drink black coffee just because I'm lazy and I don't feel like
making the trip to the fridge to get creamer or making the trip to the grocery
store to buy it.
So I just drink it out of like sheer convenience and it tastes so bad that
it actually does a better job of waking you up than coffee with cream in it.
But you drink, if you go to like Starbucks, you get, you get cream in that.
A little bit.
Yeah.
I'll be like a little bit.
Also, sometimes I don't feel like saying like a little bit of cream,
leave some room for cream and I just get lazy with my words.
I just end up drinking something I don't like, but that's what being a guy is all about.
Right.
So I'm doing that and it's the worst.
And I can't, I can't say that like I can't recommend it to anyone because
it's absolute hell and it's like the whole eating well thing just sucks.
It sucks.
That does suck.
It's painful to hear you say.
And I was about to say that, that Harbaugh must be very upset with both of us
for a firefest because you're swearing off milk and I'm complaining about not
being able to eat a nervous little bird that makes you nervous with its energy
all the time.
So maybe, I don't know, maybe we switch.
Maybe I'll drink extra milk.
You eat extra chicken.
That's, that works for me.
Well, Jack Spratt situation.
Technically healthy.
Yeah.
All right, let's get to our Mount Rushmore with Jerry O'Connell.
So we actually just randomly saw him in the office.
He was doing other shows and we're like, well, he's a fantasy football guy.
We're fantasy football guys.
So we did the single most ambitious slash dumbest Mount Rushmore possible before
we get to Jerry O'Connell and the Mount Rushmore of draft positions.
Guess what?
Football is back.
That's why we have Jerry O'Connell on.
That's why we're talking about football.
That's why we have more than Anderson on today's show.
And if you're ready for football, you have to get NFL Sunday ticket at
direct TV for over 20 years.
Direct TV has been the exclusive home to NFL Sunday ticket.
The only way to get every live game every Sunday and good news NFL fans.
Direct TV has expanded the service.
If you live in an apartment or area where direct TV service is not available,
you can now get NFL Sunday ticket without a satellite to see if you're eligible.
Go online to NFL Sunday ticket dot TV and stream every NFL Sunday ticket game
this season to follow your favorite team.
No matter where you live, use promo code barstool19 at checkout to save 15% and
packages also are available for football fans living in areas where direct TV
service is not available.
Watch every out of market NFL game every Sunday afternoon live on your favorite
devices, stream NFL Sunday ticket live, no satellite required, exclusive
student discounts also available.
I've been using it for years on my Xbox one since we moved to New York.
Watching the bears on Xbox one with NFL Sunday ticket.
Do it right now.
NFL Sunday ticket dot TV.
You can get it on your PlayStation for your Apple TV, your Roku Chromecast,
Samsung laptop, smartphones, tablets, you name it.
They have it.
NFL Sunday ticket dot TV.
Use promo code barstool19 at checkout to save 15%.
Okay, here he is.
Jerry O'Connell.
Okay, we now welcome on recurring guest and friend of the program.
It is Jerry O'Connell, J-O-C.
Young jock, guys, what a fun time.
He is taking over Kat.
Yes, so good to be back.
I love hearing that from you.
You know what?
Since I've been here, you are now a father.
Yes.
How is that?
Good.
Good.
Driving you crazy?
No, I mean a little bit, but good.
I mean, I'm a big into not, I assume that someday my son will grow up and
listen to everything I say.
So I'd rather not be like, yeah, he fucking sucks.
Oh, it's so funny because I know my kids are probably listening to this and
they're pretty, they're, yeah, they do.
They're terrible.
All right, cool.
Not the smartest.
What were they like as babies?
Probably won't go to college unless you pay for them.
Unless I pay, get them on the rowing table.
Well, they're not rowers, but I take a lot of photos of them on rowing machines,
which will be super easy to Photoshop.
Yeah, they're not rowers, but you are enrolled.
But you are enrolled in an Adobe class, right?
I did.
You know what?
Like a little sports story about kids and you're about to find this out as
you trudge down this road of parenthood.
Um, I'm not an athlete by any means.
You fence her.
We know.
I mean, you went, you fenced the NYU.
You're getting so fun to be back here.
Oh man.
Um, but, um, I put my kids in, um, a soccer school, a soccer camp.
An academy.
But yeah.
Bought them the cleats, bought them the shorts, the, the umbrows, right?
Shin guards.
Umbrows are coming back.
Got them the shin guards and everything.
And they were like, and like, we live in like Calabasas, California.
And they were like, we don't want to do this.
Like, this isn't what we want to do.
And I was like, you're going to go.
And like, I want you guys to try as hard as you can.
This will help dad down the road with tuition and all that stuff.
Like really, I need you girls to try your best.
And so I put them in it, picked them up a couple of days past and, um, my phone
rings and it's a number I don't recognize.
And I immediately pick it up because I love that game.
And, um, someone says, Hey, uh, Mr. O'Connell, which is kind of weird.
And you're going to get that now that you're a parent that people are going to
call you Mr.
Cat, Mr. Cat.
Yeah.
And, um, he says, Hey, this is coach Jamal.
I coach your daughters in soccer and I need to talk to you.
And I was like, time froze for me.
And I was like, this is it.
And like, this is what like Earl Woods, like this is what Tiger's dad went through.
Oh yeah.
I'm thinking my ham, um, I mean, yeah, we're going for gold.
I think I'm like going to, like there's no greater, like no greater, um, like feet
than, than representing your country in the world cup.
At the time they were five and I was like, you know,
when they're five, yeah, like there's some Argentinian kids that get signed to
like rail Madrid, you know, winners and losers.
I thought for sure this guy was about to say, um, you're one daughter.
Um, I want to take her to Germany.
Yeah.
And she wants to, she has to train like in the German system.
And he said, listen, you're one daughter, Dolly.
And I went, yeah.
And he said, she shows no interest in soccer whatsoever.
And I feel bad taking your money.
And then a wave of anger came over me and I said, listen, coach Jamal, I
don't, I don't pay you to teach my kids soccer.
I pay you to watch them three hours a week, right?
Just make sure they're alive when I pick them up.
And I don't want to hear from you again.
I'm convinced that youth sports and sports in general, by extension, just occurs
because parents want their kids out of the house.
So they get their kids doing activities as they're growing up.
And then when they get older, now there's a sports league for it is super
interesting how kids become Tiger Woods.
You know, is it parental drive?
Is it personal drive?
Is it both?
Is it?
I don't know what it is.
It's definitely a combo of both.
My son's going to be a sarcastic dickhead is what we're getting at.
My father had, um, athlete's foot.
Oh, yeah.
Tenectin.
Tough act in Tenectin.
Oh, we had a John Madden commercial.
Sure.
Yeah.
Tenectin.
Tenectin.
Yeah, yeah.
Step up to the mic with micatin.
Yeah.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
Step up to the cures.
Step up to the mic.
I like low trim in AF.
Low trim in his fuck.
Um, listen, commenter, when are you, uh, when my squirt went out?
I don't even know if my boys can swim and honestly, that's a blessing.
Um, you know, there's only one way to find out.
Listen, I leave a rough and tumble lifestyle right now.
I don't know if a kid could look up to me and handle that.
I got to tell you, man, your Christmas card with you and your glasses
and your baby glasses, I can't wait for that.
Oh, good point.
That would be a very good point.
I might just clone myself.
There you go.
That way I can have the kids without all the pain in the ass of having sex.
You can, um, I mean, what can you do?
Can you have like, uh, um, like a surrogate?
I mean, are you allowed to do that?
Well, I have sex, Jerry.
So it's not like, oh, yeah.
Not to brag or anything.
So easy.
Just like, you don't have to like show off.
It's trying to, you got a sex addiction.
Yeah, you are with the hair.
I mean, I would, I would consider a surrogate just because like, I don't
want to stretch out my belly too much.
But yeah, yeah, that's a good idea.
So Jerry, you are taking over for Wendy Williams.
I'm taking over for Wendy Williams.
Hey, it's actually, it's actually how you doing?
How you doing?
It's not, hey, I don't know.
Do you have it?
Well, I don't know what, hey, like, do you do it?
Do you do it?
The, how you doing?
There you go.
That's what Wendy does.
This is my own show.
So I can't take that.
I think that's trademarked by Wendy Williams.
I need to come up with a catchphrase.
And by the way, the producers are adamant.
Fuck yourself.
I can't do that because it's on Fox.
It's on Fox stations.
I'm starting on this.
I can't do that either.
They don't want me to get political and stuff.
I can't talk about like politics.
Like they don't want me talking about like Syria and stuff like that.
So what are you going to talk about?
I'm going to talk about pop culture, a lot of like BIP, Bachelor in Paradise.
Housewives, a lot of housewives.
I know you're your favorite thing.
I do like, although I have to admit, I haven't watched any of the new episodes
because I watch my show.
I'm going to cast you up.
My remote, the OK button is broken.
So I can't watch anything on DVR.
Really?
Yeah.
So I've just been stuck.
Can I give you a piece of advice?
Yeah.
If you're with a major cable company here in New York, you can walk into
any retail store they have and they will hand you a free remote.
Sounds like a lot of work.
It's really not.
Just Google where the store is.
Walk in with the remote and they will literally hand it back to you.
I'd rather just complain about not having a work.
I'm with Big Cat like trying to get a universal remote.
That's a week of my life.
Crazy, man.
Yeah, you have a universal remote.
No, I have a regular remote, but I mean, getting a new one.
Come on.
I mean, I didn't realize you were that.
No, I have a universal remote.
You're rich.
I know that I will never just I'll never be able to hit the OK button again
on my TV.
You know, that's that that part of my life is in the past.
Man, when that remote is down, it sucks.
It's a big problem.
Well, that's like having like plumbing.
A real fun game is when you're a kid.
That if you get it, you know, if you get a universal remote and you can
sneak to like your neighbor's house and change their channel through the
window or go to a bar again.
Yeah, bring it.
Yeah.
B.Y.O.R. Yeah.
That would be a power move.
All right. So Wendy Williams, Housewives, how's everyone else going?
Do you do top chef stuff?
Oh, we are going to have a top chef on there.
I mean, oh, do I do the show?
Yeah.
Do you do like a recap of top chef?
We don't. That's my jam.
I love top.
Yeah. Do you watch typically?
I don't want to offend commenter, but like they want more of the gossipy type
shows, not like the cooking shows and stuff.
What about Top Chef Junior?
Yeah. No, it's a good show, obviously.
But it's just not watching the kids like fuck up and cry.
It is. It is super fun.
But we it's not really like got like they like to talk about like look who
kissed who in the Big Brother House.
Like that's not the same as like look who made an amazing souffle.
Is the Countess going to say sober?
Right. Countess Luanne, you're referring to Real Housewives of New York.
That's a question.
That's a topic that we might cover in the.
What do you think?
I hope she does.
You hope everybody.
She will preach you about it.
You hope everybody stays.
Yeah, I do.
I hope she stays sober.
She will preach you about it.
A lot of times, I mean, if people get sober in the beginning,
they're very proud and happy of their accomplishments and they want to tell
everyone about it and say this is a great way of life.
So you will preach you about it.
You sort of celebrate it.
You're happy for people who judges.
Well, you get happy for people who find clarity.
You know, that's a that's a good thing.
I'm a Jerry on this one.
She judges her. She judges her.
That's fine. I'm ready for her.
Thank you. All right.
So fantasy football.
Man, do you remember how much crap I got in here when I said I had a thing
because the last time I won fantasy football, Derek Anderson and Braylon
Edwards were my team.
And that's the last time I loved the Browns. That's right.
So now I just I've never been to Cleveland in my life.
But you have an addiction to drafting Browns players.
I have an addiction to drafting Browns.
Are you good?
I can tell you guys.
It paid off.
My yeah.
We're here, baby.
This should in your fantasy leagues, no one should be allowed to draft Browns players.
Well, you know, that's why I'm in a lot of these keeper leagues.
So guess who gets to keep Baker.
Wait, wait, wait.
How many leagues are you in?
You said a lot of keeper leagues.
I mean, like I'm in like six leagues.
That's tough.
There's no way you remember to update each one.
It's unbelievable.
I don't talk to my kids for like 16 weeks.
Like forget about I don't let them use data in our house.
Like they're like, I don't know that's YouTube.
And I'm like, turn your iPads off.
Daddy's got to do this muckdraft.
Yeah. It's a waiver wire tonight.
You can't be eating up my 4G.
Oh, I'm a big fan of that waiver wire week one and two.
I think that's how I think that's how teams are one.
Exactly. I agree with that.
I picked up in week one last year.
Oh, one of my favorite Browns helped me pronounce it.
Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe.
I know where you're at in the old.
Yeah, I feel the power.
OK. And we have Baker, actually.
By the way, he is going to be a stud. Oh, a stud.
A stud. Give me a couple more of your
sleepers before we do this, Mount Rushmore.
Um, Baker, Mayfield.
Oh, oh, this guy named Odell.
I got to say, there's this running back named Nick Chubb.
Yeah. Duke Johnson just got traded.
I know. It's a lot of accents.
Duke Johnson probably going to have a good year.
Yeah, I got to say, I've been in such turmoil
in the last few years, like, and by the way,
you know, I only draft Browns and I've never been to Cleveland.
Duke Johnson has been my R.B.
One for the like the last seven years.
That is why you stink.
And sometimes my R.B.
Two slot would be old Theoretic.
Yeah. Yeah.
Duke Johnson as an R.B.
He gets like eight touches a game.
I think I think we went over this,
but now it does make sense why you're in so many leagues
because everyone's like, we need someone to just give some money.
That's the guy we need is 200.
Yeah, there's just everyone can, you know what?
We'll just split all his money.
Remember when I came here and I told you by drafting
my drafting technique, where I draft Browns and you guys are like,
hey, well, let's let's start a league.
Yeah, yeah. Let's go.
You got a three man league.
All right. So you want to do the Mount Rushmore?
Let's do it. All right.
So it's the Mount Rushmore of draft positions
you want in a 12 draft league.
I'm going to let you go first.
Yeah. It's a snake draft. Sure.
Which is also we're assuming this is a snake draft.
I don't know anyone who doesn't draft snake draft.
So you're going to go.
I'm in an auction draft.
OK. And it's it's really.
Should we auction draft?
We can auction draft.
Hold on a second. It's super impossible.
It's really funny. I kind of like that.
I do. I do so many mock auction drafts.
It's consumed.
I know I'm here to talk about the Jerry O.
Show on Fox stations.
Wendy Williams slot.
But majority of my time is a pro.
A majority of my time is spent doing mock auction drafts,
which I don't know if you've done one lately.
They take about two or three hours.
Yeah. OK. So let's do this.
The Mount Rushmore of draft positions
you want in a 12 player league,
but we will auction draft the Mount Rushmore
so everyone gets a hundred dollars.
Well, listen, let me tell you this.
Here's the problem with this is why you can't do this
with an auction draft.
It's like you guys are idiots.
This is going to be way too complicated.
Wait. So what's your idea?
My idea is we just take.
So there are four of us that are doing this Mount Rushmore
right now, right? No, Hank's not doing it.
Hank's not doing it. OK.
So three of us.
There are three of us.
So if you want to have the first pick in the Mount Rushmore,
then we're putting that up for auction right now.
I guess it doesn't make sense because then you just spend all your money.
Yeah. All right.
Let's just do the regular.
I'm sorry. You start.
Oh, you're still here.
Shit.
That was why it was like you always sonnies
where me and P.F.
Theor just talking.
I just had an edible before I came in here and it just hit me.
Yeah, I don't know where I was.
Contact time. The gang doesn't understand math.
All right. First pick you go.
First pick in the draft that I'm putting up for an auction draft
or my or I have the first pick.
You have the first pick.
I have the first pick.
I am going to take Leveon.
No. OK. All right.
Good. Good thought.
I appreciate that.
He's going to have a good year. I think.
No, it's number.
We're saying number.
What position in a draft?
Oh, what position?
Yeah, I'm going to want to take.
No, not number.
Number three.
There we go.
Twelve team leads.
I thought you were about to say QB.
I want I want number three.
All right, I'll take number one.
All right.
No pressure on that.
You like that?
Well, typically number one.
Yeah, you're not going to lose with number one.
OK, OK.
I'm going to take it in the past.
AP has been injured.
Like, I mean, like I'm going back a few years, but like you definitely picked
AP in your first round last year.
Well, no, I'm saying in the past, like first round,
draft picks are not only true.
It's true. It's true.
OK, mine.
This was actually going to be my number one pick.
I'm going to pick two.
I like picking second.
You're close to the turn when it comes back on you.
Plus, you let the guy in front of you make the big decision that you've been
wondering about, right?
So it's like usually when you pick second,
everybody knows that's the correct pick for you.
Right.
So like picking second for my second pick,
I'm going to take number 12 because they're like doubling up.
OK.
All right.
I'll take I'll take pick number 11 for my second pick.
Good pick. Thanks.
Second pick.
I'll take number 13.
I want to be right. No, no, no, it's the 12, 12 team draft.
So you can take 12 team draft.
So you can say you're out of picking like one through 12 or 13.
No, no, 12 goes 13.
So if you're in the state, your 12th position, then you take 12 and 13.
Yeah, when it's coming back.
So you oh, oh, I see.
So I'm through 12. I get both 12 and 13.
If you take one, then you get both one and 24 or whatever.
Right. So so the numbers that have been picked are one, two, three, 11 and 12.
OK, I see. So coming around, you get two picks now.
I am going to take what you're having me do so much.
Why? I know, I know.
It's like a calculator on my watch.
We're not math guys either.
I am going to take, I guess, 16.
No, no, wait.
Hold on. One through 12.
The number one through 12.
It has to be one through 12.
Where would you like to be in your draft order one through 12?
If it gets randomized, it's like, Jerry, here is your position.
What do you want that number to be?
And I already said number three, right?
Yeah. So you get two more picks here because I'm out. Rushmore.
Oh, oh, I see.
So I get two more very good.
You're not. Don't worry.
What we're doing is very stupid and very confusing.
So then also, I'm picking again in one through 12.
Yes. Yes.
I will go with number one.
No, I already got one.
So I have to pick.
Like I have to just go to the list.
One, two, three, that's exactly.
It's the dumbest idea ever.
I know.
Here, I guess I'll take four.
I'll take four. Nice pick, Jerry.
Good pick, Jerry.
And then what's your other pick?
I'll take number five.
Yeah. All right.
I'll take, you know what?
I'll take, I'll take 10.
Fuck, that was going to be my pick.
Yeah, I'll take 10.
OK, I'm going to take eight and nine.
OK, then I'll take, I'll take six right in the middle,
and then you get seven.
That was a dumbest, smart, rush, more.
I thought that was great.
I don't want seven. I want 11.
No, I already got.
I took 11.
Your numbers. I wasn't keeping.
Your numbers were three, four, five and seven.
That's pretty good.
Hey, I got to say, Kat,
you have like a photographic memory
that you didn't like that many numbers.
But yeah, I agree.
This was thank you for doing that with us
because it was just the dumbest idea we've had.
It was really informative.
It actually had really helped me get a strategy.
I feel like I'm ready to jump into any of my drafts.
Right, actually, it's a mock, mock draft.
This goes back to the original Mount Rush,
where we ever did.
We did a Mount Rush more of the seasons,
which there's only four picks.
So we just, I don't even know what we did.
Remember, we did it as a,
we were parodying Mount Rush.
Yeah, as a group, we just listed four.
Yeah, so reasons why.
So we're back to square one.
Were you able to do like middle, like winter fall,
or just like in the, in the, in between?
Yeah, like that first snowfall
when it's fresh.
Right.
Yeah.
Because then there would be eight seasons.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
That one day in February, where it's like 60 degrees.
Right, right.
It was like global warming.
Global warming would have been a good one.
Probably not a hoax.
Yeah, and to say that, you're going to be on top.
As a celebrity, are you,
are you big against global warming
while you take like private jets everywhere?
I've never been on a, I've been on a private jet.
Yeah, I was going to say that as a lie, yeah.
But, oh, speaking of which,
I saw you guys recently posted,
you were way in the back of,
it looked like Spirit Airlines.
It was basically Spirit.
It was bad.
You were in the last row.
Yeah, kept us humble.
I was in the middle seat too.
You really were.
People were asking me like,
why are you being a beta?
Why are you in the middle seat?
It's like, hey, I said where I'm told to sit.
But you know, a lot of like celebrity types,
like yourself, I mean, post like getting onto private jets
and videos and stuff that you guys post.
I mean, legit last row.
Yeah, I'm very coachable.
And I got to say, I don't know what the airline was,
but I did see like a coin slot at the bathroom door there.
So you needed like a token to go into the bathroom.
I would rather get stuck in any city in America
than fly Spirit Air.
That's a fact.
It is, I mean, I'm not sponsored by them.
Is it bad if I talk about Spirit Air?
No, go for it.
Allegiant, I mean, I'm about to have a,
but I once flew the aforementioned airline.
It's so funny.
My wife, my wife is from Northern California.
And I lived, I told you in Southern California
in Calabasas.
We were going up to Northern California
from Southern California.
I went to the travel website.
I noticed that one airline was about $200 less
than all the other airlines.
So I clicked on it and bought it, not thinking much of it.
I had never flown that airline before.
Went to the gate, got there,
and my wife immediately said, did you...
Did you buy us tickets on Spirit Air?
I was like, have you lost money in a Ponzi scheme?
And she was like, why did you do that?
And I was like, come on, whatever, it's all the same.
It's just, it's like a half hour flight.
It'll be fine.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's almost worse that it's short.
She was like, we're never getting out of this airport.
Correct.
And I was like, what are you talking about?
And she was like, Jerry, no, no.
Like, by the way, my wife was in a situation
where her ex flew her privately everywhere.
I was gonna say, Rebecca Romain is your wife.
Yes.
And so you're putting,
you're loading her onto Spirit Airlines.
She was, in her previous relationship,
only flew privately.
So what portion of the paperwork are you with your divorce?
Anyway, we got there.
Everyone's there.
I get to the gate.
It's about 10 minutes to like board.
And I noticed like the ticket agent was there,
but nothing, there was no action.
The door was still closed.
And I went, hey, we're going to Oakland.
I'm here, just when are we gonna be boarding?
And she was like, what time's the flight?
And I was like, it's a flight now.
It's the one 10 minutes from now.
And she was like, are you kidding?
And I was like, no.
And she was like, like, you have to come back
in like four or five hours.
Yeah, it's gone.
They do the catacombs for four or five hours.
She went, what time is your flight?
And I was like, it's now.
And she was like, yeah, that's,
yeah, come on, Spirit.
It's gonna be a few hours.
So even if you show up like within 30 minutes of your flight,
they do a catacombs where you go to the gate
and they bring you all back there at once.
So if you show up like that,
like 30 minutes before your flight,
you've already missed it.
I've missed flights that way
because you have to read the fine print.
Plus they charge you for everything you bring on the plane.
If you want to wear a shirt on the plane,
that'll be 30 bucks.
Everything.
You go on a pants fancy boy.
All right, that's another 20.
Also weird, I've never sat on a bench in a plane.
An aluminum bench.
That's what they do.
And the seatbelts were weird.
Like it says that rope you tie.
And it's like, however tight you tie yourself,
that's depending on your safety.
It's weird.
I've never been on a convertible plane before.
That's tough.
All right, Jerry, where can people see you
when you're doing Wendy Williams?
Fox stations, Wendy Williams time slot,
man, cat and commenter.
You're the best.
You are.
You are my Mount Rushmore.
What's up, bro?
Yeah, that can be your intro.
But for catchphrase?
What about something with,
because my name is Jerry O'Connor.
Yeah, Jerry O.
Jerry O, like Jerry O, no you didn't.
Oh!
That's pretty good.
Have you been practicing that?
A little bit.
Yeah, I was gonna get home.
That was too good to not have practiced.
What about like?
Jerry O snap.
Jerry O snap.
Yeah.
Ooh, that's good too.
Oh, heck yeah!
Yeah, ooh, I like that.
I like that.
These are all good.
These are all winners.
Maybe the first show is you just testing all these out.
What about like, if I come up to like,
you or like people in the audience and I go,
it's tickle time!
And then I like, come in like,
I just tickle you like crazy.
We'll come for that.
We'll be your designated ticklers.
We'll wear a shirt that says ticklers
and we'll just tickle everyone.
Cat and commenter.
I love you guys so much.
I love you too, Jerry.
I love you too, man.
Thank you for coming in.
Appreciate it.
Oh!
That Mount Rushmore with Jerry O'Connor
was brought to you by our friends at Ship.
It's a new dating app.
It's called Ship and it's let you swipe with friends here
how it works.
If you're single, sign up and invite friends
who can match for you.
Even if you aren't single,
you can still join to help a friend out.
60% of the people on there are women,
so your odds are great.
You need to do it right now.
It's S-H-I-P Ship.
Finding a date is more fun when you do it with friends.
Download the Ship dating app and start swiping today.
It sounds like you can just be a wingman for someone,
so if you are a friend, just go on there.
Even if you have a girlfriend, go on there and sign up
and be a wingman.
You gotta do it right now.
Check it out at S-H-I-P.
That's the new dating app, Ship,
that lets you swipe with friends.
Like I said, if you're single,
you can sign up and invite friends
who can match for you.
And even if you aren't single,
you can still join to help a friend out.
So go download it right now.
Ship, S-H-I-P, the new dating app,
and start swiping today.
That Mount Rushmore with Jerry O'Connor
was brought to you by 23andMe.
DNA testing can tell you a lot
about where your ancestors are from,
but did you know it could also give you
a lot of genetic information
about your health and your traits?
You can understand more about yourself today,
and it can inform you
of how you're living your life going forward.
With 23andMe's health and ancestry service,
you can learn how your genes affect your health.
It's a lot to take in,
but once you know more,
you can take action now to stay healthy.
I've got 23andMe.
Learned a lot about my ancestors.
I'm white, it turns out.
It turns out I'm from Europe for the most part.
Also got a little bit of Pyzonomy,
a little bit of Southern Italian,
a little bit of Sub-Saharan Africa,
probably way back.
Cradle of civilization, love it.
23andMe is awesome.
It's a great thing to buy,
to learn more about yourself ahead of the holidays.
Good dinner table conversation,
maybe some awkward dinner table conversation
if you don't line up with your brothers.
There's a whole lot of genes just waiting
to meet you in 125 plus personalized genetic reports
on your health, your traits and more.
That's right, personal health plans start with the right data.
Your health reports can give you insights about your DNA
so you can build a health plan that is unique to you.
You can understand if you're more disposed
to type two diabetes.
You can understand if you're predisposed
to harmful blood clots.
Those are hereditary.
You can find out if you inherited high cholesterol.
There's a big word here.
Familial hypercholesterolememia,
hypercholesterolemina, the LDLR gene,
that's specifically what they're looking for.
It can help to transport bad cholesterol
out of your bloodstream.
People can have a version of this gene
that can lead to very high levels of cholesterol,
which can increase the risk for early heart disease
and you can take action
to make sure that you're healthy right now.
23andMe reports don't diagnose diseases.
They don't describe overall likelihood
of developing any disease,
but 23andMe tests selected genetic variants only.
Visit 23andMe.com slash take for important test information.
Order your health and your ancestry kit
at 23andMe.com slash take
and you can meet your genes
and 125 plus personalized genetic reports.
That's the number 23andMe.com slash take.
And now, Morton Anderson.
And now for something completely different.
Okay, we now welcome on pro football hall of famer,
a very special guest.
It is Morton Anderson.
You remember him from playing three decades in the NFL.
Thank you for joining us.
You're wearing the hall of fame shirt.
How many of those do you have
and do you wear it all the time?
Because that's a nice flex.
I got the polos I got a few of.
I got two gold jackets
and there's a couple reasons for that.
Okay.
As soon as I got my first one,
which I was inducted in 2017, class of 17,
I get my gold jacket
and I commenced to spill red wine right away on it.
Okay.
That doesn't come off a gold, that does not come off.
So then I got a cigar, yeah.
Well, then I, and then cigar ashes.
Okay.
And then I got a second one,
took me a while to get a second one.
So I'm at the NFC championship game
with this second gold jacket now.
Hanging out with Jimmy Buffett.
We're excited.
The Saints are winning.
Rams have not yet, you know,
kind of stolen the thing away from us.
Right.
And I'm up kind of visiting some sweets
and just hanging out and glad handing
and being a gold jacket.
You know what I mean?
Right.
So I'm walking down the hallway with Jimmy
and there's like these metal frames
that have the signs of the corporate sponsors
that have the sweets.
And as I go past one of these metal frames,
it rips a giant hole in my right.
This is my second jacket now.
Okay.
So now this thing is flapping.
And Jimmy's like, I can, I can fix it.
I got some glue, you know.
Of course.
And he's one of his handlers, man.
So, you know, he tries to fix it.
It's not working.
So I let, I said, screw it.
Just let it, you know, let it hang.
Right.
Did you ask for a third one?
Now I'm on my third one.
I haven't gotten it yet.
You got to sell the first two.
Yeah.
But I've also gotten lipstick on my left shoulder
on the second one.
So it's a kaleidoscope of issues.
My wife's lipstick.
Okay.
Mind you.
Okay.
I mean, you know.
It's a nice flex.
Be like lipstick on anything makes you look more masculine.
Can I ask an important question though?
Except for your lips, maybe.
What was the score when you ripped your jacket?
It was still not, it hadn't gone to, to, to overtime.
Did we go to overtime?
Was it before or after the controversial
passenger experience?
Before.
So everybody's happy.
Interesting.
Everybody's feeling pretty sweet.
I think we got to the bottom.
Your jacket.
Yeah.
You're the reason.
I am.
I may be the reason.
Bad vibes.
That we had seven blind mice there.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I'll take the blame.
So you said we.
Now you played obviously for the Falcons as well.
You played for a few different teams,
but Falcons and Saints are rivals.
Three decades.
Yeah.
So who is we?
Do you also go to Atlanta and are you treated we?
Do you say we for them?
You have like a million to you.
The Troll Bollins, Twitter avatar of teams.
Yes.
The only time I don't say we is when the Saints
and the Falcons play each other.
I don't go to those games because it's,
how do you walk that line?
Right.
Well, what do you do?
You got to get your ass kicked in the game.
Who do you root for?
I usually, I usually root for the home team.
So if I was to go to the game.
Nice cop out.
Don't.
That's it.
Chicken shit move.
Yeah.
That is, that is.
It is weak.
At least you admit it.
No, it's kind of weak.
But, so I stay at home in my man cave
and I wear my gold jacket and I burn more holes.
I love it.
The funny thing is like if you spilled red wine
on your jacket around Jimmy Buffett,
I guarantee you he's got a kit on hand
to take care of the red wine stick.
He does.
Jimmy Buffett is a guy that he can take care of
like whatever alcohol you spilled.
You know what the coolest thing was?
About a week after I got back from the game,
I'm at home, all of a sudden this big box arrives
from Margaritaville, Inc.
Yeah.
I'm like, this is, fuck, this is sweet.
Because I know it was in the box.
I mean, it's Jimmy Buffett.
It's a party, yeah.
It's a party in a box.
Party in a box, yeah.
Right.
It's a commercial grade, hardcore Margarita mix or maker.
It's got like this swirly thing that transfers
from one compartment into this other thing
and then it was great, man.
Perfect for the man cave.
Perfect for the man cave.
Like you had to like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
A tractor, yeah, a lawn mower, yeah.
So cool.
382 games played.
Is that still the most?
That's still, as far as I know now,
Adam Vinicieri is kind of like clipping them off
as we talk, got my points, got my field goals.
I think I still got the games.
Okay.
So I got that going for him.
Yeah, we got to hold on to that.
We don't know how many of his field goals
came on deflated balls though.
That's the thing.
There might be an asterisk on that.
I think he had already left for the cold.
He had, but that was the first time they got caught.
We don't know how long the Patriots
have been doing it beforehand.
You're on your own on this one.
Yeah, I'm just saying, hey, I'm trying to stand up for you.
I hear you.
You might be the rightful heir to that title, so.
I mean, I played for all three commissioners,
which I think is kind of cool.
That is cool.
I started with Bert Bell, no, I didn't.
I started with Roselle.
And then Taglia Buu, of course, and now Goodell.
So 80s, 90s, new millennium.
It's crazy.
Five or six guys, I think I looked it up.
And the craziest part about your career is in 1994,
you get cut by the Saints, and people
are saying Morton Anderson's over the hill.
And then you play another 12, 13 seasons.
The crazy thing about 95 was that the Saints, when
you get cut in the NFL, the team has to give you
documentation on why they cut you.
So they give me this piece of paper in these boxes,
and they have to check one.
The particular box that was checked on my account
was diminishing skills, other players better.
Kind of that was kind of the knock on me in 95.
So I'm on a value jet back when value
jet was still flying from New Orleans to Atlanta.
As soon as that went down, Falcon signed me,
new signing bonus.
And then we played the Saints twice.
And you had that one game against the Saints
after they cut you and say diminishing skills.
You made the 50.
350 yarder pluses.
I mean, that's pretty good.
That's a great revenge game.
And actually, there was a couple of signs
in the Georgia Dome.
One was revenge, like you just said.
A kicker revenge game is unreal.
You don't get those.
It's a stretch.
Yeah, yeah, no, no, that happened.
And then the other one was, what were you
snorting when you got rid of Morton?
I like that one.
I think that's a good sign.
Yes, that's a very good sign.
That's a very good sign.
I actually think that you probably
could have kept kicking for a little bit longer.
So you were going for the 50.
I was trying to get to 50.
Yeah, did you think that it was going to happen?
Did you think so much was designed?
I did until March of when I was 48.
And I started preparing in March for my 26th season.
Blanda played 26 years, less games,
because he played less games.
That was 12 or 14.
14, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
14th season.
So I could not prepare to be great anymore.
My plant leg was shot.
I couldn't recruit power through the ball.
And I had just come off two pretty good years, 06, 07.
07 was my most accurate year.
Now, granted, I wasn't hitting 60 yarders.
But still, it was my best year in 25 years.
And the way I had gotten there, guys, was pretty cool.
I don't know.
Do you mind if I tell you a little story?
Absolutely, yeah, absolutely.
This story is pretty cool.
So in 2004, I'm with the Vikings.
I have a good year.
I think I missed two field goals all year.
So I'm thinking I might be back with the Vikings.
I might not.
But I'm, you know, wife and kids are in Atlanta.
Let me see if I can get Atlanta to bite.
Let me see if I can sell myself on them.
So I'm here in 2005 in Atlanta.
I start training.
Basically, it would start in March.
Now, I wouldn't put foot to ball until June 1st.
And there was a reason for that.
You can kick yourself out in the off season.
Really?
I did that, yeah.
You did that?
Yeah, I can't kick 50 year field goals anymore.
Too many kicks.
Football should have listened.
I was functional training, guys.
So I was doing everything but foot to ball.
So I would functional train March, April, June.
I'm thinking the phone's going to ring right away.
Phone doesn't ring.
It doesn't ring for two months.
It doesn't ring for 20 months.
So now, 2005, I don't play.
And I'm sitting there.
And the guys are missing left and right.
I can't believe I can't get a call.
But I'm ready.
I'm ready just in case somebody calls and say,
come in and do the thing.
So now we're in 2006.
I'm a year older.
I'm 46 now.
I'm sitting in my basement with my neighbor, Eric.
And we're watching the Falcons play the box.
The guy from the Falcons is having a really shitty day.
He missed four field goals inside of 40 yards.
I turned to Eric at that point, my neighbor.
And I said, hey, I'm switching to water.
He goes, why, man?
The phone's going to ring in 20 minutes
after this game is over.
And he said, bullshit.
It hasn't rang in 20 months.
I said, oh, see, I'm the fucking phone rang.
It rang.
Right after the game?
Hey, man, can you come in tomorrow at 9 o'clock
for a workout?
I said, how about I'm buying myself time
because I got to get hydrated.
So I said, well, how about 2 o'clock?
He said, all right, 2 o'clock.
So I think it's just me.
And they want to see if the leg's still attached to the hip.
It's not.
It's me and four flat bellies, half my age.
Now, I'm 46 these guys.
Well, that's what we're doing.
No, I like that.
That's a great phrase.
They're 23, 22 right out of college.
I'm 46.
And I've been grinding 20 months in a public park.
Now, let me set the stage and the humility
that I was going through for those 20 months.
Imagine wearing your Pro Bowl jersey.
And I had seven of them at that time to a public park.
I had Kenny Stabler's shoulder pads.
I had a Saints helmet.
I had Giants pants from 2001 when I was with the Giants.
Because I always practiced like I wanted to play.
Wear the shit you're going to wear in the game.
Wear it and practice.
So I'm out at Perkel Park, not at Perkel Park.
George Pierce Park in this outfit.
And I would have to defer the field
to the little leaguers and their parents
when they needed the field.
I would have to bribe the county workers to cut the grass.
Unreal.
So that was my mentality for 20 months.
All right, that's the backstory on it.
So back to the call from the Falcons.
Now, I'm ready.
I'm totally ready to go and very motivated.
By the way, I'm 77 points away from becoming the all-time
leading scorer in the history of the game.
Nice little carrot, too.
Yeah, absolutely.
So I go out there at 2 o'clock for the workout.
And here are these four flat bellies, half my age.
And it's mano a mano.
And we hit 15 balls, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 55, and back in.
There was an orange stripe on the net between the uprights.
It signals the middle.
Always liked the middle.
Why, it never changes.
Good point.
Hit 14 out of 15 on the stripe.
The 15th kind of grazed.
But goes through.
Goes through.
So I'm 15.
I feel pretty good.
So I turn around and everybody's standing there.
Coach Morris standing there.
Rich McKay, a bunch of scouts.
And I could see the four flat bellies kind of got discouraged.
Exit right.
And I felt good.
I turned around and said, questions, anyone.
And my special teams coach, Joe DeCamillis goes.
Yeah, I have one question.
Black or blue ink?
Black ink.
I signed a one year deal for the minimum.
And three months later in the Georgia Dome on, I think,
middle of December against the Cowboys.
I kicked a, at the time, was just an extra point,
but very meaningful that that allowed me to become the all
time leading scorer in the history of the game.
Incredible.
I mean, just the visual of you being out there,
pro football hall of famer.
Obviously not a hall of famer yet.
But people know you're a legend at a public park.
But kicking field goals, bribing county workers.
It's unbelievable.
But the juice, you know, the whole thing was, hey, what if I
had, it could have been a shit show, right?
Because if I had not prepared myself in those 20 months,
now I get a chance.
Now it's embarrassing.
Could you imagine a field day you guys would have had on my
behalf if I'm all over the place?
Right.
But I went in there, I was ready to go and got it done.
So the satisfaction was really, I mean, big.
So you spent all this time training to get back because
you had some goals you wanted hit, obviously.
But I have to also think that if you're willing to dedicate
20 months of training without getting a call, there's
something that you actually like about stepping out onto a
field and kicking a ball and watching you go through the
upright.
So Ray, that's got to be satisfaction for you.
Correct.
But much more deeper than that, man, is that the human, like
the human element of improvement.
How do you improve more than normal?
Your back has to be against the wall.
It's not when your hands are above your head, everything's
going fucking great.
That's not when you're getting it done.
It's when you're down, man, and nobody believes in you.
I like that.
In the military, we call the world a suck.
The world a suck, you've got to embrace.
You guys do radio.
You do a really good job, I think.
Thank you.
I'm a fan.
Appreciate it.
We do embrace the suck on this show.
You embrace the suck sometimes because you run out of
questions.
Now what?
Right.
Right.
I don't have one more.
Yeah, I think we'll be all right.
Yeah, yeah, we'll be OK.
But you know, you might have run into a guest and I've, you
know, I got a couple in mind maybe that you can relate to.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Dak Prescott.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yep.
Yep.
And you just got to turn into it sometimes.
You got to embrace the suck and just curl the toes, man, and go.
That's fantastic.
How long a field goal do you think you could kick right now?
As long as you need, brother, how?
Right in the middle.
Are we winning the game?
Are we just going up free nothing?
You know, 36 yards specifically.
Is that what it was?
Yeah.
36 yards.
No, 43.
43.
The Bears.
43 yards.
43 yards.
Oh, yeah, the Bears and the Uprights.
Yes.
So I have my very distinct opinion on why he kept hitting the Uprights.
OK, let's hear it.
And you may have heard already.
OK.
Because the Bears aren't good at scouting talent
and they kept him on the team.
No, because in practice, he would practice hitting the Uprights.
It's true.
You're right.
Yeah.
So you never tried that.
So your mind, you know.
You were right down the middle all the time.
Aim for the middle.
Why?
Yeah.
It never changes.
So about that, Cody Park, you obviously,
and we've seen it with many kickers, the yips,
and getting in your own head.
Did you ever go through anything like that?
So you haven't gone through anything like that,
but when you watch someone going through that?
I usually.
Like, what's your thought on sitting there watching someone
just struggle so mightily?
What would your advice be to the person?
Take up golf, man.
You stink.
Yeah, yeah.
But it's always fascinating to watch.
It is hard to.
And a lot of the young guys, they get in their own way, man.
And it's not that complicated, you know.
Kepke is a good example in golf, right?
Yeah, our guy.
Yeah.
Just, hey, whatever.
Right.
Just get out there and hit golf.
I trust my skill.
Right.
I trust that I'm really good.
And when the lights come on, I'm just
going to go out and be me.
Sometimes you overanalyze the paralysis by analysis,
all that bullshit.
I think more importantly is to be in the moment
and be present.
Right.
Be present.
Right.
And a kicker needs to really recruit his dominant response,
his dominant behavior for a very short period of time.
Most of my time is on the sideline, guys.
Drinking Gatorade, looking at cheerleaders, you know.
Yeah.
I mean, going, oh, shit, it's fourth down.
I got to go.
I mean, it really is a very 1.2 seconds from snap to kick.
So I probably, in a year, play maybe 10 minutes.
Well, how are those 10 minutes?
They better be really good, right?
To get it done.
So for me, the advice I have to these guys that go through,
like you said, the yips or the doubting themselves,
is just to stay in the moment and have a short-term memory.
Do you think the extra point moving back
has had anything to do with kickers maybe having
a little more problems?
Because I would assume going out for an extra point
is just a nice, it's almost like getting a layup in basketball.
Just see the ball go through the hoop.
Yeah.
And here's the reason why it's an issue for these guys.
It's no longer an extra point.
Right.
It is a 33-yard field goal.
I tell my guys that it's not an extra point.
Forget that you only get one point.
You have to treat this as a 33-yard field goal.
And in the NFL, you're expected to make everything
inside of 40 yards, 10 out of 10,
or you're going to be unemployed.
That's a fact.
Those are your money kicks.
Is it sexy to have a 64-yard?
Hell, yeah, it's sexy as hell.
I mean, you know.
You're walking proof of it.
It's cool.
You're sexy as hell.
Thank you.
I mean, you're walking around with this pro football polo,
which I love.
Yeah.
I actually might get one of those.
I'll just use that one.
Are you a medium?
Yeah, medium.
Medium, good.
Yeah, you're right.
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
No, but you're right.
Like, there is 40 and in.
If you don't hit it, everybody wants to help.
And you better have some swagger 40 and in, man.
Yeah.
Come on.
You got to own.
Really kick it in.
That's your work bench.
You better own that shit.
You better own 40 and in.
And then once you got that, you've
earned the right to go outside of 40.
I tell my guys that in practice, they
want to be out there banging 55s, 57s.
What are you doing?
How about a 38 from the right hash?
How about a 39, a 34, a 37 from the middle?
Show me you can make 10 out of 10.
And then we'll talk about going past 40 yards.
Right.
So you do actually have an enormous amount of swagger
for a kicker.
Absolutely.
Did you ever get any shit from your teammates?
Being like, hey, man, you're a kicker.
Why are you dripping all the swag on me?
No, not at all, because they knew when it came down to it
that they could count on me, man.
A lot of guys say, hey, man, they call time out on you.
Did that affect you at all, like the icing?
They iced you.
And I said, you can't ice ice.
That's great.
Great saying.
I love it.
That's swagger.
That is can't ice ice.
Great dain.
Can't ice.
You've been in the ice, man.
Yeah.
Great.
They know the cold.
So I know the cold.
Yeah.
I know this tasteful.
I spent 20 months in it.
And then I smelled the sweet success.
Right?
Can't ice ice.
But it gets better when you have to work for it.
It feels better when you've failed.
To me, I mean, if my hands were on my head for 25 years,
is that interesting?
Right.
That's not really interesting to me.
Don't you think the failure is really a kind of a cool thing?
Yeah, no.
And it builds swagger?
Yeah.
If you bounce back from failure, then yeah, absolutely.
You were swagged out.
And if you don't, it's, you know.
It's in the room.
That's a pity.
You go play golf somewhere.
Yeah.
I wanted to talk quickly about the NFC Championship
game, Falcons Vikings, because you make the winning kick.
But your brother, Gary Anderson, misses it in a famous way.
I know he's not actually your brother.
But he misses it in a famous way.
I assume you guys were friends.
And what was it like talking with him after that?
Because that's.
Didn't see him.
I was too busy running around with the NFC trophy over my head.
Right.
But maybe a couple months passed.
Yeah.
I did feel bad for him.
I felt terrible that because he was 35 for 35.
Right.
And that team was, maybe you could say,
besides the 16-0 Patriots, probably the best team
to not win a Super Bowl.
That team was lights out the Vikings.
Yeah, I told Gary, I said, you should have taken my route,
man, and missed a bunch in the beginning of the season.
Pressure would have been off.
Yeah, it's true.
Yeah, do you think that affected him, the fact
that he was perfect all year?
I don't.
I haven't actually spoken to him about the specific 38-yard field
roll he missed.
Same spot I made mine in overtime.
Exact same spot.
Left hash, crazy.
Right.
He just pulled it slightly, man.
It was, you know.
Yeah, you'd think though, being perfect all year,
then getting to that moment.
The moment was big.
It's a huge moment, and you've been perfect all year, so it's.
They would have gone up by 10.
You always talk about it with teams.
Like if they had lost in the regular season,
maybe they win the championship.
You know what I mean?
You see in college basketball or the Patriots,
like we just said, if they lose that game to the Giants,
then they maybe beat them in the Super Bowl.
You know, I still bust balls out a bunch of the guys
from that team.
Of the Vikings, and they were the best offensively.
That year, they broke all kinds of records.
Yeah.
John Randall, Randy Moss.
Chris Carter.
Chris Carter, and particularly those three guys
I see every year in Cannes, Ohio.
And just kind of remind mostly John Randall,
because John is great.
John is, you know, if I can John Randall with the mask,
I mean, come on.
Yeah, very intimidating.
Absolutely.
Yeah, but just a great dude.
And as soon as he sees me, he goes, no, no, you're not going,
no, you're not saying, oh, fuck you, man.
He starts running away from me.
I go, I won't.
And then so I leave him hanging, like,
because he knows it's coming at some point
during that weekend, you know.
And I'll just make a nasty reference to that game,
you know, or...
One time I wore the NFC championship game,
and I just kind of like flashed it for him.
Like I kind of sat there right in front of him.
What's that?
That's...
Oh, this one?
Yeah, we lost it then, but it's a loser ring,
but you didn't even get that, did you?
Yeah, and then one of those, you know.
This is actually my second one.
I lost the other one punching Jimmy Buffett
in the face in the brawl one.
But it was...
Yeah, he's good.
It must be awesome going to Canton every year.
You know, it's like a big frat part.
Well, not a frat party, but kind of a nicely manored frat
party with a few scary elements here and there.
Jerry Jones.
You know, I'm not gonna go into...
That would be, you know, can't go into...
Right, we're not gonna tell any tales out of school here.
Yeah.
But good time for sure.
Lot of stories and, you know,
a few cocktails being slung back and forth.
And I can't believe I'm there, man.
A freaking specialist who spends his life kicking a football.
And I'm there with Roger Starback and, you know,
Emmett Smith and Jim Brown and, God bless him,
Walter Payton, man, if you had been around.
You know, Walter, I've met him many times,
played Pro Bowls with Walter Payton,
one of the funniest, funniest guys you'll ever meet.
Yeah.
No, that is great that you have a yearly party
that's always scheduled just like to remind you
how lucky you are to be in that place.
That's gotta be a cool feeling.
Always something to look forward to.
So, so cool.
And it made me realize I played with or against...
Everybody.
Yeah.
It's, you know, Jen, my wife, she goes,
you played with everybody.
Mm-hmm.
I said, I know.
I either played with them or against them
or absolutely met them at some point in a uniform somewhere.
Jan Stenerutzi, the other kicker in the hall
from Norway, Kansas City Chiefs.
And he and I have a picture where I was like my rookie year
with the Saints and he was with the Vikings.
And we were, you know, 18, 19 years removed.
But I played, I played with Kenny Stapler.
Mm-hmm.
I played with Archie Manning.
Archie Manning.
Yeah, that's crazy.
Like Payton and Eli used to come out to practice
with Archie and hang out.
And they were like eight and 10 or something.
I mean, you know, this thing goes back a long, long ways.
Yeah.
It's really cool.
Who's your favorite teammate through all the years?
Clay Matthews Sr.
Ooh, there you go.
There it is.
So there it is.
I just dated myself big time, right?
Yeah.
Clay was funny.
We used to do practical jokes on each other.
I would do the classic hot bomb in his jockstrap.
Yeah.
Didn't like that when he got it on his guy stuff.
It's tough.
Yes.
So he got me back.
He went in.
So our days are for Tuesday.
He went in.
He had this confetti bomb rigged to my helmet
with fishing line, transparent fishing line,
hit it out of sight, had a carpenter,
had like one of the equipment guys like drill holes
in my locker like, you know,
and did these spools with the fishing line
that was attached to this confetti bomb.
So when I ripped my helmet off the hook,
as it would, it hangs there, you know.
I would never notice it.
I would go off, it would great fanfare in a big bang
and go, boom, boom, you know.
So Wednesday of course, here comes practice
and I noticed he was sitting in it
because usually he goes out early
because the old guys, we need more time to warm up.
So he's still sitting on his stool,
kind of just pretending his rap,
kind of taping his wrist.
He's just waiting.
He's looking up every couple of seconds.
He's just kind of, you know,
his locker was like one block over, if you will.
So I pull this thing, it goes off.
I mean, scared of living, she hit hard on me.
Boom, confetti goes flying everywhere
and all I can hear is Clay, you know.
Got you.
Oh, it's great stuff.
Love it.
I love that stuff.
All right, my last question,
you were talking beforehand,
so you are still busy doing a bunch of stuff
and you're working with some stuff in Vegas, correct?
Actually out of Copenhagen, a company.
Yeah, well they're in the US market now,
Better Collective, BETTR Collective,
BetterCollective.com, very cool company out of Copenhagen.
They've been around for 15 years in Europe, in the UK.
What, through their affiliate marketing
and their partners, they've bought some companies
over here in the US now with the repeal of PAFTA
and now it's up to the individual states,
largely to decide what they want to do
with online gambling.
Better Collective has entered the US
and has hired me as their US ambassador.
Nice.
And what they try to do is to enable the iGamer
in a transparent fashion to help them to educate
and we have tips, tipsters.
Okay.
That will help the iGamer.
I always love hot tips, yeah.
Yeah, guys, and they will reward the tipsters
based on their performance.
Hell yeah.
So it's very transparent, very objective.
You know, we've taken all the power away
from the offshore bookies and gotten rid of the darkness
and made it light.
Love it.
Now we're all going to get rich.
Made it entertaining.
Yeah, now we're going to cash in, baby.
The right way.
Yes.
You know?
I'll probably still lose, but yeah.
So go check out Better Collective
and on their website, they have all their affiliate partners
and done a really nice job.
And I'm proud to be part of them.
That Danish mentality of due diligence,
doing it the right way, doing your research,
not being in a hurry, 20 months in the park,
hello, not perhaps wanting or needing
to have the result right now,
but understanding that small wins equals great success.
Baby steps, what a lot of little is,
that's Better Collective, that's me.
I didn't know that was the Danish mentality.
I learned something today.
So like very, very detail oriented, focused on the end.
Correct.
You like the process.
But process, but you're not chasing after anything
too immediate, take your time.
Yup.
I like the Danish mentality.
The other thing I learned about the Danish culture today
is that you have the greatest accent ever.
Your accent is awesome.
Are you flirting?
No, I'm not flirting, but you sound like in die hard.
I feel like I'm with the,
I actually, this might be too forward of me,
but we do some voiceovers when we make videos.
Would you do one for us?
Oh, are you kidding me?
Would you do voiceover work?
I never have.
Well, you do do it.
You know, you are an exclusive voiceover guy.
Cool.
You have an awesome accent.
I mean, I know I can't be a Blake,
so I want to go there.
No, you're not a Blake.
I know, I get that.
I get that.
You're not a Blake.
The Blake's don't have the Danish mentality.
No, but you're not a Blake.
Yeah, listen.
What about a Danish Blake?
You can't force.
No, no, we don't have a Blake.
We're not even gonna go there.
We'll tell you if you're a Blake.
How do you spell that?
Yeah, I like that.
I will let you know if you ever become a Blake.
A baby steps.
Yes, but I actually want you to do our voiceovers
because we always do it ourselves and it sucks.
So you got the voice for it.
It does sound very comforting.
Yeah, I like it.
Cool.
Actually, I have a voiceover thing for you.
All right, go ahead.
Do it real quick.
Go ahead.
As long as we're not doing karaoke.
We can do karaoke.
I can sing.
My last question, out of all the kickers in the game right
now, which one do you think has the most Morton Anderson in them?
Swagger?
Man, I would say Justin Tugger and Baltimore.
Adam Minatteri has been around for a long time.
So I like his staying power.
Matt Bryant, he's done now, but he had some.
He was around for a while, yeah.
He was banging.
He was 44 and hitting 55 yards like there were 40 yards.
So the 50 yards are like the new 40 yards and the 60 yards.
You're going to see a bunch of 60 yards this year, guys.
And the Browns.
And that was a great interview, by the way, with Baker Mayfield.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah, we love Baker.
Appreciate it.
That was a good one.
Did you ever wear the single bar face mask?
No, two.
Two bars.
The double bar.
Lots of room.
You can get a fist through right there.
But my teeth were safe.
Did you ever get hit in the face?
You ever get punched?
No, two concussions.
One by a guy.
I won't name it.
It doesn't matter.
Back when the Houston Oilers.
Guy Short said on a kickoff.
So I'm opening kickoff against the Oilers.
I kick a touch back, as Gary Uprimian would say.
I kick it.
My head is down.
I'm trying to regain balance.
And this guy just absolutely annihilates me.
He separates my shoulders, bruises, two ribs.
I have a concussion.
Not from the hit, but from me hitting the astroturf.
And when I woke up, I'm like, booo!
Looking out of the ear hole, you know?
Yeah, right.
And of course, back then, there was no concussion protocol.
Here's some smelling salt and go on with your business.
That's what we do, too, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
All right, I got your first voice over work for us.
Oh, man, my glasses.
Let me see if I can read that.
That's a good one.
I'm getting there.
Can I?
You don't have to finish it.
People will know what that was.
Oh, my God.
That's good.
That was happy, man.
That was, wow.
We will be in touch about voice over work, though.
You are going to do real voice over work.
That's not real voice over work.
That's voice under, man.
That's voice under.
All right, well, thank you so much.
This has been awesome.
Appreciate it, man.
Thanks.
That interview with Morton Anderson
was brought to you by Policy Genius.
These days, a lot of workplaces offer some pretty nice perks.
Snack station, 15 flavors of soda water, even insurance.
But while it's nice to have a handful of trail mix
and some water that tastes faintly of pompomous,
I think that's grapefruit, that's not enough to subsist on.
And neither is your workplace life insurance.
This is where Policy Genius comes in.
Policy Genius is the easy way to shop for life insurance
online.
In minutes, you can compare quotes from top insurers
to find the right amount of coverage
at the best possible prices.
The Policy Genius team, it looks at your workplace life
insurance policy.
And it helps you decide what else you might need.
And more importantly, maybe what you don't need on top of that.
So remember, workplace life insurance policies
are like workplace snacks.
Better than nothing, but not quite enough.
So head to policygenius.com today.
Find out how to supplement your workplace life insurance
and better protect your family.
That's right, head to policygenius.com today.
It's like a buffet made of life insurance.
And what could be more delicious than that?
OK, let's get some segments, finish up the show.
First up, we have thoughts and prayers to Hugh Jackson.
He is not a loser, even though he lost a lot of football games.
But he wants it to be known that he's not a loser,
despite the losing.
He's not a loser.
He tied several games.
So there's that.
And he said that he wanted something
about when he got fired, he went home
and he stayed in his basement for three days.
Like, we're supposed to feel sorry for you for that.
Number one, basements are awesome.
So I would love to spend time in any basement for three days.
Number two, he said he just slept all the time.
That sounds amazing, too.
I would love to get fired as an NFL coach one day.
Here's my problem with Hugh Jackson.
And I'm basing it off of what I saw in Hard Knocks,
which we know that the team gets editorial control over.
So Hugh Jackson watched it and was like, I look good.
So it's based on that.
It's based on his immediate, like,
mediator after he got fired.
And it's based on this article.
And I'm not saying that Hugh Jackson doesn't deserve
a little sympathy.
It seems like he's gone through some hard things in his life.
But he also feels like the type of guy
who is just trying to manipulate the world
into feeling bad for Hugh Jackson.
Because guess what?
He already tried to do the,
I was actually unfairly fired
and I wanted every good quarterback
that's ever been drafted in the last five years.
And it was everyone else's fault.
If your immediate reaction to being fired
is to blame literally everyone else
on national television, I'm kind of done with you.
And then he took the job with the Bengals
and played against the Browns
while still getting paid for the Browns.
And now when all that doesn't work,
he's like, oh yeah, let's do the sob story feature on me
in Sports Illustrated.
And again, there's some parts of his life
and the fact that he made it as a head coach
is astounding and all that stuff.
Like he beat a lot of odds.
But I'm just kind of over the Hugh Jackson.
Everyone should feel bad for me.
Whoa is me.
You're stunk as a head coach.
You could be a good offensive coordinator.
You're stunk as a head coach.
I think that's okay to say.
No, I think that's fair to say.
I think that's definitely fair to say.
And I'm not a loser clip, that headline,
is that's just so wonderful.
What else could you hope for on your tombstone?
I want my tombstone to just say,
Hugh Jackson wasn't a loser.
Dude, it's like when Jim Caldwell had to answer
the question of whether or not he was dead or not.
Like when you have to answer that question,
when you have to address the fact
that people are saying you're a loser,
guess what, you're a loser.
And I love how it's in so many coaches that get fired.
They do the media tour and then about six months later,
they have to do the media tour for their media tour.
And Sports Illustrated does that all the time.
The profile of the fired coach,
that's like their bread and butter.
I mean, I can count, it probably takes me two hands.
I could name you seven different times
that they've done this with the fired coach,
who's just like sitting in a room locked with game film,
trying to get back into the game somehow.
Like offering their coaching services
for free to the local high school.
This is just what happens.
And the Browns, obviously nobody inside that building
really misses Hugh, but he's still staying in Cleveland,
which is kind of a weird place.
He's saying that, you know, he goes to the Chipotle
or whatever and the person, there's always nice.
And they're like, Hey, sorry, it didn't work out.
Just move out of Cleveland, Hugh.
Just leave bad, bad juju inside that town.
Get out.
In the article, it said that he was moving
in three weeks to Cincinnati.
I can't believe he stayed for that long though,
but you're right.
Sports Illustrated is so funny.
They're always, it always starts the same.
It's like, man, I just missed football.
I have to be with my shitty family
and get paid millions of dollars to not work.
Yeah.
Woe is me.
Like, and I love it too.
They're always like for, for, for the last 42 falls,
he like coach fill in the blank knows exactly
where he would be coaching up his team
with a whistle in his mouth.
This fall is different.
He's at his $10 million home with his five kids
and getting paid to not work.
Damn, he, it's really sucks to be him.
I think my favorite one was Greg Shiano
when, when they did the profile of him.
And it was like him cooking breakfast for his family
and his family was like,
dad, don't fucking make breakfast again.
I hate it when you make breakfast.
You suck at it.
He's like, this is my special Rancho's Wavos.
The secret is taco seasoning.
And then his daughter's like, shut the fuck up, Greg.
Yeah, go back, go back to coaching and guess what?
That's the best part about all these articles.
The, being a coach at that level is like being
a Supreme Court Justice or being in the mafia.
You always have a job.
Someone will always hire you.
One of your friends will always pick up the slack.
So no, I don't feel bad for you, Hugh Jackson.
You could go get a job tomorrow anywhere in the NFL
as like a quality control guy, offensive, you know,
specialist or anything like that.
And you would get paid a lot of money to be a coach.
Hold back.
Don't feel bad for Hugh Jackson.
Yeah. He'd be a great hold back guy.
That's all he's done with the Browns for the last four years.
But did you see the thing about the Browns would have,
there was a dude that got a Super Bowl tattoo,
a Cleveland Browns 2020 Super Bowl champions tattoo
on his leg, which I love seeing that because it's
the first time in the history of the Browns or in the since
they've been these new Browns after they moved to Baltimore
that somebody could get that tattoo.
And I'm not sure if it's ironic or not.
Like, I think it's I think I think the person actually believes
that they're going to be Super Bowl champions.
In which case, that's the high watermark
for that franchise for the last 20 years.
Yeah, that's when you that's the arrival moment.
It's not when you make the playoffs.
It's not when you win 12 games or when you're division.
It's when a fan, a crazy fan gets a tattoo
and everyone's like, maybe not that crazy.
Yeah, I can see it.
Right. All right.
Next up, we have Way to Stay Relevant Baseball.
They sent out a memo saying that everyone doing over the counter
dick pills could get them busted for PEDs.
So stop trying to get raging hard boners with your 7-Eleven
rhino dust or whatever the fuck they're called.
Yeah, Rhino Max.
I mean, I'm a big fan of just like the names of those pills.
I've always thought about trying them,
but I never really muster up the courage to go ahead and buy one
because who knows what's in it.
But I could see baseball players is loading up on that over the counter
shit, just like, yeah, Trevor Bauer.
When he sees like any sort of pill that says like rhino rock boner,
he's like, fuck, yes, this pill was marketed for me.
Trevor Bauer, I'll take all you got, including the ones in the back.
And the best part about this story
that's kind of going under the radar a little bit is you've got
old school legacy baseball reporters that have to get out there.
And like Peter Gammons has to be in front of a camera being like,
yeah, they had to report that that horny goat weed might make you fail a drug test.
Just hearing those words coming out of like Ken Rosenthal's bowtide ass,
that that makes it worth it for me.
Bob Nightingale and Heyman have to have to talk about boner pills.
I love it. And here's what it here's what they really should say relevant, though.
Mike Trout, they should just tell Mike Trout,
hey, we're going to fake bust you for this because guess what?
You'll be the most marketable, funniest guy.
Like here is the solution to how do we market Mike Trout?
He's the boner guy. I like that.
Or just make a boner pill for Mike Trout.
Just have him be the face of the off like off brand boner pill franchise.
That that way people always say like, would you recognize this person in a shopping mall?
Well, if the shopping mall sold Mike Trout's guaranteed big wood on it,
then fuck, yeah, I would recognize them.
Exactly. He just hits dingers and gets massive erections.
That's my that's what Mike does.
That is the way to beat your your East Coast bias.
You're no one's staying up to watch Mike Trout hit mammoth home runs.
Well, guess what?
He has huge ass hard ons and that's Mike Trout.
That's what he does.
All right, PR 101 Patrick Chung.
He got arrested for having coke in his house, which I guess it was a burglary.
Should he use?
I don't know, actually, if we should bleep that because that was probably a bad ad.
But he had what would it is?
What did what happened?
His alarm went off.
The cops went there and then he just was Tony Montagna.
Then he just had a mountain of coke, I guess.
Yeah, I don't know exactly what the situation was, if it was a false alarm or not.
But the blueprints out on how beat the Patriots just by the mall
video security systems and then and then trigger the alarms
and then have the cops come and bust them up.
What are your thoughts on this, Hank?
Yeah, it seems like a setup, to be honest.
There we go.
That's really the only conclusion I have.
I also don't know what, like, I mean, what kind of setup are we talking about here?
Someone probably gave him the cocaine and then call the cops on him.
We're like, Hey, there's coke in that.
Oh, yeah.
Classic setup.
So I'll probably put the cocaine up his nose at like 2 a.m.
at a club being like, Hey, this would make a hilarious setup.
Have smelling salt.
Partying. This is going to show him.
Yeah, I'm going to sell Patrick Chung cocaine and then call the cops.
Implicating myself because I sold it to him.
I like it. I like where your head's at.
I mean, this has been a pattern for Belichick coach teams for a while.
His best defensive players, Lawrence Taylor.
I'm sure he has similar situations.
Here's the craziest part about this story.
Everyone reported it.
And I didn't realize Patrick
Trump has been on the Patriots since 2009.
Yeah, no one makes it that long on the Patriots.
Yeah, he's very maybe that was the.
It could be Belichick trying to get rid of him.
There you go. I mean, I just said it was a setup.
I didn't say it was by if Belichick set up Patrick Chung.
If he planted this coke and triggered the alarm,
would you take Belichick's side in this?
Yeah. Yeah, of course. Of course.
Duh. Yeah, of course.
There's a reason for it. All right.
Hank, let's do FAQs.
And by the way, before you start, I have an FAQ.
How how low are you wearing your pants right now?
Not to be all dad on. Well, Hank doesn't have an ass.
So I'm just looking at his ass.
Yeah, I'm looking at your ass.
He's got nothing to hold it up.
I have an inverted ass.
It's concave.
I wish to do a body's issue with just Hank.
Who's search history would you rather see?
Lenny Dykstra or Jerry Jones?
Jerry Jones, because I know what's on Lenny Dykstra's.
It's just a bunch of back page.
He just Googles back page all the time.
He's like, when will the FBI let this page come back up again?
With Jerry Jones, he probably doesn't know how to use a phone
correctly. So just anything that pops into his mind,
he just probably uses Siri, the assistant.
Actually, Siri probably gets like a lot of stray
Googles out of Jerry Jones when he accidentally hits the button on it.
Lenny Dykstra's Google history would get depressing real fast.
I feel like it would be funny for the first three lines.
And then if you keep on going, you're like, OK, this is just what he looked for.
Yeah, he looked for a Rubin tug next to the Jersey mikes
in the middle of like, you know, North Northeast Jersey at two in the morning
on a on a Tuesday. This is this sucks.
This is sucks to read.
Jerry Jones is just like, how much should I disrespect my running back today?
Yeah. Yeah.
Good jokes to disrespect my running back.
By the way, if I'm Zeke, I'm sitting out the whole season.
Like I have more power to Zeke on this one.
Zeke, don't play this year at all. Zeke who?
Oh, Hank's sub-PMT boys.
I've always wondered how the fuck do you guys handle your Twitter notifications?
Do you ever feel overwhelmed?
Good question. My phone. I didn't.
I was going to say my phone acts up once every like six to eight months
where it just starts sending me notifications for every single like that I get.
I don't know how this happens.
So I just turned off all my like notifications.
Yeah, I would say it's been an evolution where it used to be that I would see
every single reply and every single mention.
Now, if you catch it in off hours, I'll probably see it.
But if it's during any type of sporting event, during anything that's going on,
that's like funny on Twitter, I just don't even see any mentions.
Like I'll see that maybe like one or two and then just keep scrolling.
Yeah. If you want to get big cats attention now, you have to like shoot them a tweet.
I'd say between the hours of like two and five when you might be up
breastfeeding the kid from your giant nipples and then you're just second
Twitter with the other hand and then you'll probably respond to that.
Asking for a madden code and I'll respond.
Yeah. What's good, guys?
I have a two for for the people.
What other shows at Barstool you guys involved with?
I found out PFT produces LCB today.
And two, do big cat and PFT have protégés or are they just never going to retire?
That's a good question.
So I yeah, I OK.
I'm the vice president of football operations is the term that I prefer.
But yeah, I executive produce lights, camera, Barstool and hard factor.
The Daily News show, by the way, those guys are fucking hilarious.
Download that show. It comes out every day.
It's like 20 minutes long.
Just get your news fixed while you're taking a shower after you listen to part of my take.
So I do those and to answer your question about the protégé,
I guess just I'm trying to teach Hank how to get an ass.
One day at a time, I do.
I do Barstool, Chicago Red Line Radio, Dogwalk.
I'm trying to think what else and we do serious shows.
I here's one that I here's where I wanted to go with this though, PFT.
I don't know if you noticed, but a fantasy football factory,
the show that we quote unquote executive proves the show that Hank planted this question,
which I'm surprised you didn't realize that I didn't planted this question.
So we would specifically bring this up.
We are not we are not only not followed by fantasy football factory on Twitter,
but not listed as anything to do with it.
Interesting. So I'm a block, I'm a block.
I didn't realize that I got to make some changes.
That's why I asked that question.
I listened to the first episode.
Sure. Thank you. I thought it was very good.
I appreciate that. You're welcome. I didn't.
I thought it sucked. I appreciate that, too.
Do you guys have any respect for the Amazon rainforest?
I think it's pretty clear that we don't by the way that we addressed it earlier.
I have all the respect for the Amazon
rainforest retweet for respect.
Yeah, I saw somebody getting mad that we were talking about chicken sandwiches on Twitter.
Like he was like, my timelines filled with people arguing about chicken
when the rainforest is burning.
And it's like, you want you want me to write a check to the environment?
I'll do it. Yeah. What do we do?
Yeah, someone. Where do I say cash for the environment?
Tell us how to reverse a hundred years of insane, irreversible destruction
we've done to our earth.
Tell us and we'll do it.
I'll watch Ferngully tonight. How about that?
There you go.
With college football coming back and this may have been said,
but what happened to Stingray Steve?
Oh, good question.
Stingray Steve is involved, I think, in ongoing litigation against a number of people
and we may or may not be included in that.
So no more Stingray.
Yeah, I think Stingray.
I don't think we specifically like part of my take is being sued, but I could be wrong.
Either way, Stingray Steve, listen, that's why college football is the best.
You have these fans, they're very passionate, but you have to understand
they they can't like hang out forever.
They'll come in your life.
They'll pass through your life.
But at some point, you know, it's time for them to go along and possibly sue you.
I also think that Stingray Steve is a guy that was like, you can't you can't put him in a cage.
You know, like Stingray Steve needs to fly free.
He can't be known as a part of my take person.
He's got he's on to bigger and better things.
Yeah.
PFT's Gruden Impression is criminally under here.
I'm going to say this and then I'll ask the last question as well.
PFT's Gruden Impersonation is criminally underrated.
Is it better than Calliano is my question.
And then the last question is who makes the new animations of the persons you are
interviewing on the PMT logo for each episode, i.e. Danny Vitale, John Kuhn.
Tally between Big Cat and PFT on last week's episode.
So is my I think my Gruden Impression just from that from that text in is already massively overrated.
It's just something that you just you try to do like if Sean McVeigh was drunk
and then just added man on the end of everything.
It's pretty easy. Give it a shot.
And what was the other question we just say?
Shout out Triggs draws.
Shout Triggs draws.
Also, I mean, good point, bringing up the John Kuhn and the Danny Vitale
animation because a lot of people have been asking are we a Packers podcast now?
And I think that I think that we are because I mean, we've interviewed their head coach.
We've interviewed two legendary fullbacks on the team.
And I don't know if you saw this, but Aaron Rodgers gave a little tip of the cap to us
on his way up to Canada.
He him and Danny were both wearing the Canada Boys outfits.
Coincidence. No, he no.
He was saying, what's up to my boys, my main man, Big Cat and PFT.
Yeah, three years after that joke was funny and probably like 10 years after that joke
was funny. Aaron Rodgers hopped on classic.
No, it was a go dude.
You fucking try hard.
It was it was hilarious.
I love that, Aaron. I'll be watching.
I know you'll be listening. Love you, Aaron.
No, he won't. No, he won't.
I love you. He doesn't even respond to text from his own teammates.
Should we talk about that?
He doesn't respond to anyone text.
So we're closer that many times in the in the facility.
Everyone's like, yeah, Aaron doesn't respond to anyone who wanted to do
Packers podcast. Let's go off the record stop.
So we're so wait, wait, he responds to us by acknowledging us.
So he treats us better than he treats his own family and his teammates.
I mean, I think he's probably a bigger fan of part of my take
than anybody in Green Bay is of him.
And yeah, he's a bigger fan of part of the Packers.
That's true. That's true.
That part is true.
Yeah, I know. And I want to sink that ship.
I'm shorting the stock part in my take.
Your number one Green Bay Packers podcast. Love, Aaron.
Good. They're going to stink again this year.
And Aaron, you're fucking loser.
Love you guys, especially Aaron Rodgers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take
Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, calling me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, calling me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take Tell me all this, oh! Take, call me Take, call me Take
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, baby, you start to say Is it a lie, fuck? Just to blame, our war is away You're all the things I've got to remember You're shy away I'll be coming for you anyway Take on me Take on me Take on me Take on me
Take on me Take on me No, take on me
Take on me now Get a day I Sheng
You