Pardon My Take - Hall Of Famer Morten Andersen, Mt Rushmore W/ Jerry O'Connell, And Fyre Fest Of The Week

Episode Date: August 23, 2019

Week Zero is here and we're juiced up for College Football Saturday night. (2:54-9:56) Brooks Koepka and Phil Mickelson showed some skin. (10:34-14:04) Fyre Fest of the week including the Amazon is ju...uling and Big Cat is drinking black coffee. (14:05-21:53) Jerry O'Connell joins the show to talk about his new show, filling in for Wendy Williams, Fantasy Football, and the Mt Rushmore of Fantasy draft positions. (23:43-45:08) Hall of Famer Morten Andersen joins the show to talk about his 3 decade + career in the NFL, playing with legends, his comeback at the end of his career and more. (48:28-1:20:21) Segments include thoughts and prayers Hue Jackson and the fired coach feature,(1:21:23-1:27:11) way to stay relevant baseball dick pills,(1:27:12-1:29:14) and FAQ's (1:31:33-1:39:27)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, we have Morton Anderson, Hall of Famer Morton Anderson, one of those interviews where we didn't expect it to happen. He actually hit us up. He was coming through New York. He and his son are huge AWLs, so it was an awesome interview.
Starting point is 00:00:28 We talked about the kicking career, probably the best kicker of all time. We talked about his comeback. We also have our good friend Jerry O'Connell on the show in studio to do the worst slash best Mount Rushmore. We will do all summer. It is the Mount Rushmore of fantasy football selection, draft selection numbers, and it was just as confusing as I just said it. So it is stupid, it's funny, and Jerry is the man.
Starting point is 00:00:55 We also have a little fire fest, and what are we going to do today, Hank? Jimbo's, we'll do, no, we're doing FAQs. We have all that ready to go before we do that. Pardon my take is brought to you by the Cash App, the number one finance app in the App Store. Cash App is the most powerful way to send, spend, and save. It's connected to the free cash card, the only debit card with boosts. Just select a boost in your Cash App that instantly saves some of your favorite places
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Starting point is 00:02:43 Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by the Cash App. Go download the Cash App right now, put in code BARSTULE. You get $5 off and you get $5 to the ASPCA, that's $5 actually for free. Today is Friday, August 23rd, am I right? Yes, I'm right. And Football Week Zero is here. I'm so excited. You hear that sound, Big Cat?
Starting point is 00:03:18 You hear that sound? Yeah. You know what that sound is? It's people finally getting mad about sports again. And that's what I love the most about the start of football season, is you can finally find a release for all this anger you've pent up, because it actually makes you feel better to get mad about arguing about sports. And now that we have real games, it's time to get angry.
Starting point is 00:03:38 I watched it happen slowly on my timeline, my Twitter timeline, the last few days. The change of like baseball, people still fucking talking about basketball, shut up, you nerds, into football where everyone has the previews and their predictions and their fantasy football and their weird fantasy football podcast gets announced and all this stuff happens and it's slowly the tides turn and it's like we walk into a room with all of our friends and we're like, hey, we're back. This is great. I've noticed a few like of those basketball nerds be like, hey, 60 days till the NBA season
Starting point is 00:04:15 starts. No. 58 days. Shut the fuck up. This is our time. We get this. We have the entire fall. No one cares about your sport until after the Super Bowl, Football Week Zero, meaningful
Starting point is 00:04:27 football is back. Well, people start caring about the NBA on Christmas Day. That is the official start of the season. They should just start it at that point and then move on from there because yeah, football, we own the fall. That's actually a great idea for a t-shirt. We own the fall. Fuck, that's good.
Starting point is 00:04:41 The falls are for the boys. Falls for the boys. I like it. You're right. You see people talking about actual meaningful shit now when it comes to sports. We can forget about getting upset about stupid and consequential stuff like climate change or which colors are the best and arguing about that and we can finally get into getting mad about sports.
Starting point is 00:05:03 I fucking love it. There's all these storylines that I had forgotten about over the summer that I'm getting reintroduced to and I love it. I'm rediscovering what I'm excited about and the first thing that I saw when I was reading these previews for the Miami, Florida game, we were going to have a fucking Australian punter with neck tattoos, six foot four weighing 245 pounds. I was watching punting highlights today and I was getting excited about it. We also have the classic.
Starting point is 00:05:31 I'm so happy they started with these two teams because the entire broadcast is going to be talking about returning to glory and will are these team officially back? Can we get back to, you know, Steve Spurrier, Tim Tebow, Urban Meyer, Florida? Can we get back to the U in the 80s and early odds and guess what? On Saturday night, Imagine Dragons is going to hit and it's going to feel so damn good. I assume that Imagine Dragons has a has a song for this college football season because if they don't, then like the whole world, that's actually more of a pressing issue than climate change.
Starting point is 00:06:05 As if Imagine Dragons, if we turn on our ESPN on Saturday night and it's some random band we've never heard of. So I'm just going to assume it's Imagine Dragons and I'm going to say I'm already got chills. Yes. Even if it's fallout, boy, that counts as Imagine Dragons, I would say 30 seconds. That counts as imagine technically that is Imagine Dragons. If you're watching like a preview for a Saturday night football game, yeah, Maroon five, they're hard stuff.
Starting point is 00:06:29 That also counts as Imagine Dragons. If you're drunk enough, Maroon five could be considered Imagine Dragons like yes, agreed. Yes. I'm looking forward to it. I had Imagine Dragons. Yes. Yes. I'm looking forward to Dan Mullins walking the sideline.
Starting point is 00:06:41 Dan Mullins. Look, he's got like a big wide face and he always looks concerned about stuff. He always looks like he's he's convincing his body not to turn into Brett Bieloma's body just by like the sheer force of will. I'm looking forward to that. I'm looking forward to the return of Manny Diaz, former Temple head coach, making his return to the U this weekend, trying to bring him back. There's just so many awesome storylines and Manny Diaz is the perfect type of Miami coach
Starting point is 00:07:09 where he walked in the door and was like, I'm bringing the U back and then immediately started doing shit that pissed everyone off and was slightly shady. And that is like, you can't go down to Miami and be like, you know what, we're going to just out recruit everyone by by getting there and knocking on doors. No, Manny Diaz had that boat party that he went through Miami and was blasting and he I think he did something where he showed up to another guy's football camp. He's doing the things that brings Miami back. So I'm all in on Manny Diaz.
Starting point is 00:07:42 And yeah, I'm just excited. This is this just like five minute talk has me excited to be about the turnover chain. Is the turnover chain back or did it get to Dunn chain? Did they pick the Dunn chain on the turnover chain? Two chains? I mean, Paul, Paul, Chris killed the Dunn chain. I mean, the turnover chain he did when Paul Chris, who has, well, he's like, he never swears in his entire life.
Starting point is 00:08:03 His mom literally yelled at him for swearing on national television. Real swag is no swag. Turnover chain. My ass. I think when the the Wisconsin head coach, who the only thing he changes in his outfit is which shade of gray he wears on his hoodless sweatshirt. And he says turnover chain. My ass.
Starting point is 00:08:21 It's over. And they tried it last year and it was weird and awkward. So I think it's over. I think it's done. They should just make it a turnover jewel. Just like a ring or what? No, like a jewel that you you're going to lose. Oh, like you vape.
Starting point is 00:08:33 Yeah. Oh, like a double. No, it's done. The players aren't allowed to vape. So it's like, if you get it, if you catch an interception, like this is your chance. That's not bad. I could I could see like Fresno State getting into that. You thought it was like a diamond, like you were talking about jewelry.
Starting point is 00:08:48 My brain naturally followed to like, is it a gemstone? What are we talking about? You're far gone. Far over the jewel. Oh, yeah. I'm smoking heavy cigarettes now. My jewel days are in the past. I'm strictly on a health regimen.
Starting point is 00:08:59 It should actually be a cardboard cut out of jewel the singer and then you hook a vacuum up to her mouth, the back of her mouth and then you have her jewel actual. She blows the jewel smoke through her missing tooth. Yes. Boom. Done. And then she's got bling bling jewels in her ears. If Alaska had a football team that would, you know what, Jewel lived her entire life
Starting point is 00:09:21 on grit week. I don't know if you know this about her. She lived out of a van for like six years when she was trying to make it. Yeah. We know. She every song was about that. Yeah. I didn't.
Starting point is 00:09:31 This is kind of dating yourself. I was actually watching the roast of Rob Lowe the other day and she was on it. And I was like, I have no idea who this is, but they kept referencing her and roasting her. But yeah, that's she should make a comeback by just changing the spelling of her name to J U U L Jewel was Rihanna before Rihanna. I'll say it. What?
Starting point is 00:09:48 That's strong. What? That's strong. All right. Let's, um, we also have to, before we get to our firefest of the week and then we have Mount Rushmore with Jerry O'Connell and more, uh, sorry, Morton Anderson coming up with a great interview. We got to do a barstoolgold.com slash PMT.
Starting point is 00:10:06 Go get it right now. You can watch Morton Anderson in studio and we also have new shirts coming out for the fall. We have coach. Oh, hold that tiger shirts coming out for, uh, right now they're out, they're out and get ready because we've got some Larry shirts coming up. We know what knows what they look like, but we have some Larry shirts coming out in a week and we'll sell the stock like we always do and get Larry into the super contest.
Starting point is 00:10:31 By the way, someone remind me on Monday, I have to get Larry into the super contest before put a calendar in. Someone remind me that because I'm totally going to forget and then we actually will be committing fraud. Yes. First Larry to ever make it to two seasons. Well, let's now, let's not count our goals before, sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:48 So Larry still has like a week and a half to make it, uh, but yeah, he would be the very first Larry to survive for a full off season and it's tough. He's John. It's tough on us. Yeah. And the whole move. That's true. And a move.
Starting point is 00:11:00 God damn. Shout out spider. Yeah. Shout out spider. He kept Larry alive. All right. So before we get to fire fest, uh, we had two golf visuals. We have to talk about Phil Mickelson now has a six pack, I think, and, uh, is skinny.
Starting point is 00:11:14 And then Brooks Kepka, just an absolute man rocket, did the body issue. And I think everyone came in their pants right away. Yeah. Just guys being nudes, just Blake showing off on the golf course, the old 19th hole behind him. He looked good. He was intimidating. I saw today on the golf course, he was wearing a pair of Nike shoes, but he was doing the
Starting point is 00:11:31 thing that the kids do and he left the tag on it off lights, off lights, dude. Yeah. Pretty sick. Come on. I don't know how comfortable I am with, with the idea of golfers getting hot because that was always a sport that you could just like point out and be like, I'm probably in better shape than a lot of these guys. But uh, Phil, Phil concerns me.
Starting point is 00:11:49 Like I don't think that's a healthy body type for Phil. His body has to be just so confused after living for how many years, like 45 years, just as kind of like a lump of clay and now he's sculpted. It's weird. It's a weird transition for him. It's a weird transition. But Phil, it also might be the only guy, I think he looks worse when he has clothes on cause I didn't think he had that underneath him.
Starting point is 00:12:12 And then when you see him with a T-shirt, you're like, Oh, he's still got those man boobs. No problem. So maybe he just hasn't changed his clothes, but I agree. Phil Mickelson getting skinny. That's, that shouldn't happen. That, that fucks up the whole everything we know about golf and Phil Mickelson. I can't root for him when I see him like that Brooks on the other side. I mean, I said it, but it's basically the difference between tasteful nudes and gross
Starting point is 00:12:37 nudes. Phil Mickelson, gross nude, Brooks, tasteful nude. Agreed. I think Brooks looks, looks fantastic. I think they should have asked that guy, a fib barn rat. Is that the guy's name that, that vapes out there? Yeah. Speaking of vaping, they should just ask him to be in the body issue, just covering up
Starting point is 00:12:51 his genitals with a sick cloud. There's like a big exhale. That would have been, that would have been awesome. I feel like it was the reverse of Phil though, whereas like I thought Brooks would be a little more jacked, but once the shirt came off, it was like a little, how could you say that? Dude, Brooks, I'm just being honest. Brooks has a good body.
Starting point is 00:13:05 He looks like he's got guns on the course and there wasn't, you know, as much definition as I was expecting. No, he's a smooth boy. I did like the fact that he had the farmer's tan, though, like they didn't airbrush that out. That was nice. Hank, how could you say that? He was a fucking chiseled Adonis, dude.
Starting point is 00:13:20 He didn't have one ounce of fat on that body. I thought he looked great. And like, so the one thing about golfers is their, their tans, like between the farmer's tan and the forehead tan, that you can't Photoshop those. That's how strong the sun is. The sun can defeat computer programming. The fucking sun. Yes.
Starting point is 00:13:38 Yes. The fucking sun. Hank, I actually, I think that was fair of you to be honest, but you obviously were wrong. You know that, right? Of course. Yeah. He looked great.
Starting point is 00:13:49 Yeah. Brooks, he looked great. Another fun fact about Blake that Liam pointed out to me is that those shoes that you're talking about with the tag, you made that same joke because Blake Griffin was wearing those same exact shoes in the van on a great week. Oh, okay. So he was doing a little swagger jacking of Blake Griffin. He was a little Blake on Blake violence.
Starting point is 00:14:04 He saw, he saw what the Blake of the year had to do to win. So he was trying to take those steps. Okay. I like it. I like it. He's a competitor. Yeah. It's a copycat leak.
Starting point is 00:14:13 All right. Let's do our firefests. Hank, why don't you start? My first firefests is I still haven't got that laundry bag. I think about it every morning. Every single morning I'm like, fuck, God damn, I wish I had that thing. Maybe this weekend. You got to stick to the bag.
Starting point is 00:14:30 There's going to be some dry cleaner walking around Brooklyn wearing just like a shitload of obscure Barstool merchandise from seven years ago. Yeah. And then my second, so that's my real pressing firefest of the week. My second one is that I sit next to Marty Mush, who's like Barstool's gambling guy. He just gambles all day, every day. He was preaching yesterday about the Tigers plus 400, got to take him, got to take him, got to take him.
Starting point is 00:14:52 Oh. I am in my head because he's always like spouting off. I was like, Oh no, like you sound crazy. I would never do that. Maybe I thought about it for a second. Like you think I should. He's like, yeah. And I was like, why?
Starting point is 00:15:03 He's like, just cause it's plus 400. And I was like, forget about it, Marty. You're dumb. Of course they won. Of course it hit. Yeah. So that was tough. Even a blind pig finds an acorn.
Starting point is 00:15:11 That's what we say. That was the second time. I think the tie, I think the Ashles have been on the wrong side of the two biggest upsets in MLB history, like in the last decade, and it's happened in the last three weeks. They lost the Orioles a couple of weeks ago, plus 385 or something than this, the Tigers Hank. That's one of those bets. If you get it on your radar, you have to take it.
Starting point is 00:15:32 It's like doing an office pool for, for the, you know, power ball. Yeah. If someone mentions it, you have to do it because if you don't, you know it will hit. A little spin zone for you though, Hank. If you had won that bet, you probably wouldn't have wagered like a regular unit for yourself since it was such a heavy underdog. And then when you win those bets, the first thing that you do, you're like, shit, I should have bet a lot more money on it.
Starting point is 00:15:53 So you saved yourself of thinking about what might have been true. True. But yeah, there you go. You're right though, big cat. It was like all day. I was like, what? Like you're an idiot. You should have just done it and not thought about it.
Starting point is 00:16:03 But whatever. Yeah. Yeah. All right. PFT. What do you got? My firefest of the week is that the Popeyes chicken sandwich has been sold out all week during lunch and I haven't been able to get it.
Starting point is 00:16:13 I've tried very hard. I had it last week. So that was cool. But once, once you start thinking about Popeyes, just like you guys were talking about, like when you hear Powerball, when you hear somebody say Popeyes chicken sandwich or you see one of five million people tweeting about it, you want to get it. And every single place in New York has been sold out of chicken. I don't know how you sell out a chicken, but they've managed to do it.
Starting point is 00:16:32 And so I've just been feeding one all week long because I got to try the spicy. I've had the regular, but I haven't had the spicy one yet. I've been lost on this whole entire thing that Popeyes. The fact that Popeyes didn't have a chicken sandwich is a shock to me. And then the fact that everyone is going crazy for it is even more shocking because it's like, it's a chicken sandwich, you can get chicken sandwich anywhere, right? It's a good sandwich. It's very, very good.
Starting point is 00:16:55 Unpopular opinion, the Popeyes chicken sandwich is good. I'll die on that hill. You should, you should get it. No, it's, it's really good. And I need to have another one. I might, I've thought about actually walking to a Popeyes. That's how, that's how pressed I've been to get this sandwich is I've thought about walking like six blocks to purchase one, which is that's insane.
Starting point is 00:17:14 Yeah. My other fire festival week is the Amazon rainforest is on fire, but whatever. Yeah, it's, it's only the earth's lungs. Yeah, probably happens all the time. Yeah. We're, we're basically just vaping a lot. The earth is just in their teenage vaping. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:30 Is the Amazon rain? Is that, does that have anything to do with Jeff Bezos? Did he sponsor it? The, the, the failing Amazon rainforest, the very unfairly lit it on. Yeah. He probably lit it on fire with his drones that were just flying around, just delivering packages to random places. Good point.
Starting point is 00:17:46 Yeah. They probably just dropped by mistaken incendiary bomb that was meant to be sent to like some weirdo in Idaho. They dropped it in Brazil instead. Get, get Jared in a water bottle down on the first plane down there. Take care of it. Ooh. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:17:59 Jared Goff could save that entire thing right now. All right. My fire fest. I have two. One is Max Kellerman keeps talking about how he created the boat and it's pissing me off. I'm at the point now where I'm just going to do passive aggressive things where I retweet every time he says it to let other people attack him because I'm so
Starting point is 00:18:15 frustrated that he actually thinks he created it. And I actually don't know, I don't know if we even created it. I think gas might have created it. Hey, Blake created it. Yeah, it wasn't us. Blake might have created it. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:26 It can't, yeah. Right. It came from this like our little world, but I don't, I'm not even saying that I, you know, that this show specifically created it. I think it was someone in the barstool world slash Blake and it's been around for five years now and the fact that Max Kellerman thinks he just made it up on the spot yesterday is driving me insane. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:45 And he's, he's very, uh, he's, he has no shame about it whatsoever. He's been saying like, I just came up with this. Isn't that great that I came up with this? He's retweeting people being like, Hey Max, I'm so excited that you came up with the term boat. And he's like, yeah, I know that was, that was it. That was my biggest hit since that awkward rap video that got leaked like six months ago. Max, those fucking people are our fans and they're being sarcastic.
Starting point is 00:19:08 You dumb piece of shit. It's true. Yeah, they are. Yeah. Let's see how many people, you know what, do this tomorrow. Tweet at Max Kellerman and say thanks for creating the boat. And then we need to put a code word in there so they know that. So we know it's our fans.
Starting point is 00:19:24 The code word is, uh, I'm trying to think. Oh, no, how about the one that would get under his skin a lot like, um, skip. The code word is skip somewhere in the tweet. Yeah. Hey, yeah. Hey, uh, I'm really Max. Thanks. Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:19:43 I'm really glad I don't have to skip first take anymore. Now that you guys are coming out with great terms like the boat, something like that. Yes. Shout out Max. Maybe capitalize the S and skip occasionally. I don't know. Yes. We'll see.
Starting point is 00:19:57 Perfect. Perfect. Um, all right. So we, I also have, uh, I've been switching to black coffee because I'm trying to like watch my diet because I have a kid and I don't want to die early and all this fucking stupid shit that you have to do. Like it's so lame that I have to actually think about this stuff now, but I've switched to black coffee and it's the worst, but your kids smoke all the time.
Starting point is 00:20:19 So is it milk? Yeah, I know, but no, I think you're supposed to drink it until a certain like until you hit, uh, what's it called? Not menopause. It's not puberty. Yeah. Menopause. When your metabolism goes down and your tits get big menopause.
Starting point is 00:20:32 Yeah. Dude, it's got bones though. Yeah. And Jim Harbaugh would be very upset with you about all this quitting milk. It sucks, dude. It sucks, but it does feel badass to say to everyone when they're like, do you want a little cream? You're like, huh?
Starting point is 00:20:44 Yeah, between, but then I like cry a little bit as I drink it because I'm like, this is just garbage. I feel like when you drink black coffee, you end up drinking like two sips and always throw it away. No, black coffee. I think I drink black coffee just because I'm lazy and I don't feel like making the trip to the fridge to get creamer or making the trip to the grocery store to buy it.
Starting point is 00:21:00 So I just drink it out of like sheer convenience and it tastes so bad that it actually does a better job of waking you up than coffee with cream in it. But you drink, if you go to like Starbucks, you get, you get cream in that. A little bit. Yeah. I'll be like a little bit. Also, sometimes I don't feel like saying like a little bit of cream, leave some room for cream and I just get lazy with my words.
Starting point is 00:21:19 I just end up drinking something I don't like, but that's what being a guy is all about. Right. So I'm doing that and it's the worst. And I can't, I can't say that like I can't recommend it to anyone because it's absolute hell and it's like the whole eating well thing just sucks. It sucks. That does suck. It's painful to hear you say.
Starting point is 00:21:36 And I was about to say that, that Harbaugh must be very upset with both of us for a firefest because you're swearing off milk and I'm complaining about not being able to eat a nervous little bird that makes you nervous with its energy all the time. So maybe, I don't know, maybe we switch. Maybe I'll drink extra milk. You eat extra chicken. That's, that works for me.
Starting point is 00:21:56 Well, Jack Spratt situation. Technically healthy. Yeah. All right, let's get to our Mount Rushmore with Jerry O'Connell. So we actually just randomly saw him in the office. He was doing other shows and we're like, well, he's a fantasy football guy. We're fantasy football guys. So we did the single most ambitious slash dumbest Mount Rushmore possible before
Starting point is 00:22:18 we get to Jerry O'Connell and the Mount Rushmore of draft positions. Guess what? Football is back. That's why we have Jerry O'Connell on. That's why we're talking about football. That's why we have more than Anderson on today's show. And if you're ready for football, you have to get NFL Sunday ticket at direct TV for over 20 years.
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Starting point is 00:23:52 Okay, we now welcome on recurring guest and friend of the program. It is Jerry O'Connell, J-O-C. Young jock, guys, what a fun time. He is taking over Kat. Yes, so good to be back. I love hearing that from you. You know what? Since I've been here, you are now a father.
Starting point is 00:24:09 Yes. How is that? Good. Good. Driving you crazy? No, I mean a little bit, but good. I mean, I'm a big into not, I assume that someday my son will grow up and listen to everything I say.
Starting point is 00:24:20 So I'd rather not be like, yeah, he fucking sucks. Oh, it's so funny because I know my kids are probably listening to this and they're pretty, they're, yeah, they do. They're terrible. All right, cool. Not the smartest. What were they like as babies? Probably won't go to college unless you pay for them.
Starting point is 00:24:37 Unless I pay, get them on the rowing table. Well, they're not rowers, but I take a lot of photos of them on rowing machines, which will be super easy to Photoshop. Yeah, they're not rowers, but you are enrolled. But you are enrolled in an Adobe class, right? I did. You know what? Like a little sports story about kids and you're about to find this out as
Starting point is 00:24:54 you trudge down this road of parenthood. Um, I'm not an athlete by any means. You fence her. We know. I mean, you went, you fenced the NYU. You're getting so fun to be back here. Oh man. Um, but, um, I put my kids in, um, a soccer school, a soccer camp.
Starting point is 00:25:15 An academy. But yeah. Bought them the cleats, bought them the shorts, the, the umbrows, right? Shin guards. Umbrows are coming back. Got them the shin guards and everything. And they were like, and like, we live in like Calabasas, California. And they were like, we don't want to do this.
Starting point is 00:25:31 Like, this isn't what we want to do. And I was like, you're going to go. And like, I want you guys to try as hard as you can. This will help dad down the road with tuition and all that stuff. Like really, I need you girls to try your best. And so I put them in it, picked them up a couple of days past and, um, my phone rings and it's a number I don't recognize. And I immediately pick it up because I love that game.
Starting point is 00:25:53 And, um, someone says, Hey, uh, Mr. O'Connell, which is kind of weird. And you're going to get that now that you're a parent that people are going to call you Mr. Cat, Mr. Cat. Yeah. And, um, he says, Hey, this is coach Jamal. I coach your daughters in soccer and I need to talk to you. And I was like, time froze for me.
Starting point is 00:26:12 And I was like, this is it. And like, this is what like Earl Woods, like this is what Tiger's dad went through. Oh yeah. I'm thinking my ham, um, I mean, yeah, we're going for gold. I think I'm like going to, like there's no greater, like no greater, um, like feet than, than representing your country in the world cup. At the time they were five and I was like, you know, when they're five, yeah, like there's some Argentinian kids that get signed to
Starting point is 00:26:46 like rail Madrid, you know, winners and losers. I thought for sure this guy was about to say, um, you're one daughter. Um, I want to take her to Germany. Yeah. And she wants to, she has to train like in the German system. And he said, listen, you're one daughter, Dolly. And I went, yeah. And he said, she shows no interest in soccer whatsoever.
Starting point is 00:27:06 And I feel bad taking your money. And then a wave of anger came over me and I said, listen, coach Jamal, I don't, I don't pay you to teach my kids soccer. I pay you to watch them three hours a week, right? Just make sure they're alive when I pick them up. And I don't want to hear from you again. I'm convinced that youth sports and sports in general, by extension, just occurs because parents want their kids out of the house.
Starting point is 00:27:29 So they get their kids doing activities as they're growing up. And then when they get older, now there's a sports league for it is super interesting how kids become Tiger Woods. You know, is it parental drive? Is it personal drive? Is it both? Is it? I don't know what it is.
Starting point is 00:27:45 It's definitely a combo of both. My son's going to be a sarcastic dickhead is what we're getting at. My father had, um, athlete's foot. Oh, yeah. Tenectin. Tough act in Tenectin. Oh, we had a John Madden commercial. Sure.
Starting point is 00:27:57 Yeah. Tenectin. Tenectin. Yeah, yeah. Step up to the mic with micatin. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:02 Yes. Yeah. Step up to the cures. Step up to the mic. I like low trim in AF. Low trim in his fuck. Um, listen, commenter, when are you, uh, when my squirt went out? I don't even know if my boys can swim and honestly, that's a blessing.
Starting point is 00:28:17 Um, you know, there's only one way to find out. Listen, I leave a rough and tumble lifestyle right now. I don't know if a kid could look up to me and handle that. I got to tell you, man, your Christmas card with you and your glasses and your baby glasses, I can't wait for that. Oh, good point. That would be a very good point. I might just clone myself.
Starting point is 00:28:33 There you go. That way I can have the kids without all the pain in the ass of having sex. You can, um, I mean, what can you do? Can you have like, uh, um, like a surrogate? I mean, are you allowed to do that? Well, I have sex, Jerry. So it's not like, oh, yeah. Not to brag or anything.
Starting point is 00:28:48 So easy. Just like, you don't have to like show off. It's trying to, you got a sex addiction. Yeah, you are with the hair. I mean, I would, I would consider a surrogate just because like, I don't want to stretch out my belly too much. But yeah, yeah, that's a good idea. So Jerry, you are taking over for Wendy Williams.
Starting point is 00:29:04 I'm taking over for Wendy Williams. Hey, it's actually, it's actually how you doing? How you doing? It's not, hey, I don't know. Do you have it? Well, I don't know what, hey, like, do you do it? Do you do it? The, how you doing?
Starting point is 00:29:15 There you go. That's what Wendy does. This is my own show. So I can't take that. I think that's trademarked by Wendy Williams. I need to come up with a catchphrase. And by the way, the producers are adamant. Fuck yourself.
Starting point is 00:29:26 I can't do that because it's on Fox. It's on Fox stations. I'm starting on this. I can't do that either. They don't want me to get political and stuff. I can't talk about like politics. Like they don't want me talking about like Syria and stuff like that. So what are you going to talk about?
Starting point is 00:29:41 I'm going to talk about pop culture, a lot of like BIP, Bachelor in Paradise. Housewives, a lot of housewives. I know you're your favorite thing. I do like, although I have to admit, I haven't watched any of the new episodes because I watch my show. I'm going to cast you up. My remote, the OK button is broken. So I can't watch anything on DVR.
Starting point is 00:30:02 Really? Yeah. So I've just been stuck. Can I give you a piece of advice? Yeah. If you're with a major cable company here in New York, you can walk into any retail store they have and they will hand you a free remote. Sounds like a lot of work.
Starting point is 00:30:14 It's really not. Just Google where the store is. Walk in with the remote and they will literally hand it back to you. I'd rather just complain about not having a work. I'm with Big Cat like trying to get a universal remote. That's a week of my life. Crazy, man. Yeah, you have a universal remote.
Starting point is 00:30:27 No, I have a regular remote, but I mean, getting a new one. Come on. I mean, I didn't realize you were that. No, I have a universal remote. You're rich. I know that I will never just I'll never be able to hit the OK button again on my TV. You know, that's that that part of my life is in the past.
Starting point is 00:30:41 Man, when that remote is down, it sucks. It's a big problem. Well, that's like having like plumbing. A real fun game is when you're a kid. That if you get it, you know, if you get a universal remote and you can sneak to like your neighbor's house and change their channel through the window or go to a bar again. Yeah, bring it.
Starting point is 00:31:01 Yeah. B.Y.O.R. Yeah. That would be a power move. All right. So Wendy Williams, Housewives, how's everyone else going? Do you do top chef stuff? Oh, we are going to have a top chef on there. I mean, oh, do I do the show? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:12 Do you do like a recap of top chef? We don't. That's my jam. I love top. Yeah. Do you watch typically? I don't want to offend commenter, but like they want more of the gossipy type shows, not like the cooking shows and stuff. What about Top Chef Junior? Yeah. No, it's a good show, obviously.
Starting point is 00:31:27 But it's just not watching the kids like fuck up and cry. It is. It is super fun. But we it's not really like got like they like to talk about like look who kissed who in the Big Brother House. Like that's not the same as like look who made an amazing souffle. Is the Countess going to say sober? Right. Countess Luanne, you're referring to Real Housewives of New York. That's a question.
Starting point is 00:31:47 That's a topic that we might cover in the. What do you think? I hope she does. You hope everybody. She will preach you about it. You hope everybody stays. Yeah, I do. I hope she stays sober.
Starting point is 00:31:57 She will preach you about it. A lot of times, I mean, if people get sober in the beginning, they're very proud and happy of their accomplishments and they want to tell everyone about it and say this is a great way of life. So you will preach you about it. You sort of celebrate it. You're happy for people who judges. Well, you get happy for people who find clarity.
Starting point is 00:32:14 You know, that's a that's a good thing. I'm a Jerry on this one. She judges her. She judges her. That's fine. I'm ready for her. Thank you. All right. So fantasy football. Man, do you remember how much crap I got in here when I said I had a thing because the last time I won fantasy football, Derek Anderson and Braylon
Starting point is 00:32:29 Edwards were my team. And that's the last time I loved the Browns. That's right. So now I just I've never been to Cleveland in my life. But you have an addiction to drafting Browns players. I have an addiction to drafting Browns. Are you good? I can tell you guys. It paid off.
Starting point is 00:32:40 My yeah. We're here, baby. This should in your fantasy leagues, no one should be allowed to draft Browns players. Well, you know, that's why I'm in a lot of these keeper leagues. So guess who gets to keep Baker. Wait, wait, wait. How many leagues are you in? You said a lot of keeper leagues.
Starting point is 00:32:58 I mean, like I'm in like six leagues. That's tough. There's no way you remember to update each one. It's unbelievable. I don't talk to my kids for like 16 weeks. Like forget about I don't let them use data in our house. Like they're like, I don't know that's YouTube. And I'm like, turn your iPads off.
Starting point is 00:33:13 Daddy's got to do this muckdraft. Yeah. It's a waiver wire tonight. You can't be eating up my 4G. Oh, I'm a big fan of that waiver wire week one and two. I think that's how I think that's how teams are one. Exactly. I agree with that. I picked up in week one last year. Oh, one of my favorite Browns helped me pronounce it.
Starting point is 00:33:30 Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe. I know where you're at in the old. Yeah, I feel the power. OK. And we have Baker, actually. By the way, he is going to be a stud. Oh, a stud. A stud. Give me a couple more of your sleepers before we do this, Mount Rushmore. Um, Baker, Mayfield.
Starting point is 00:33:51 Oh, oh, this guy named Odell. I got to say, there's this running back named Nick Chubb. Yeah. Duke Johnson just got traded. I know. It's a lot of accents. Duke Johnson probably going to have a good year. Yeah, I got to say, I've been in such turmoil in the last few years, like, and by the way, you know, I only draft Browns and I've never been to Cleveland.
Starting point is 00:34:11 Duke Johnson has been my R.B. One for the like the last seven years. That is why you stink. And sometimes my R.B. Two slot would be old Theoretic. Yeah. Yeah. Duke Johnson as an R.B. He gets like eight touches a game.
Starting point is 00:34:24 I think I think we went over this, but now it does make sense why you're in so many leagues because everyone's like, we need someone to just give some money. That's the guy we need is 200. Yeah, there's just everyone can, you know what? We'll just split all his money. Remember when I came here and I told you by drafting my drafting technique, where I draft Browns and you guys are like,
Starting point is 00:34:42 hey, well, let's let's start a league. Yeah, yeah. Let's go. You got a three man league. All right. So you want to do the Mount Rushmore? Let's do it. All right. So it's the Mount Rushmore of draft positions you want in a 12 draft league. I'm going to let you go first.
Starting point is 00:34:56 Yeah. It's a snake draft. Sure. Which is also we're assuming this is a snake draft. I don't know anyone who doesn't draft snake draft. So you're going to go. I'm in an auction draft. OK. And it's it's really. Should we auction draft? We can auction draft.
Starting point is 00:35:09 Hold on a second. It's super impossible. It's really funny. I kind of like that. I do. I do so many mock auction drafts. It's consumed. I know I'm here to talk about the Jerry O. Show on Fox stations. Wendy Williams slot. But majority of my time is a pro.
Starting point is 00:35:23 A majority of my time is spent doing mock auction drafts, which I don't know if you've done one lately. They take about two or three hours. Yeah. OK. So let's do this. The Mount Rushmore of draft positions you want in a 12 player league, but we will auction draft the Mount Rushmore so everyone gets a hundred dollars.
Starting point is 00:35:41 Well, listen, let me tell you this. Here's the problem with this is why you can't do this with an auction draft. It's like you guys are idiots. This is going to be way too complicated. Wait. So what's your idea? My idea is we just take. So there are four of us that are doing this Mount Rushmore
Starting point is 00:35:53 right now, right? No, Hank's not doing it. Hank's not doing it. OK. So three of us. There are three of us. So if you want to have the first pick in the Mount Rushmore, then we're putting that up for auction right now. I guess it doesn't make sense because then you just spend all your money. Yeah. All right.
Starting point is 00:36:06 Let's just do the regular. I'm sorry. You start. Oh, you're still here. Shit. That was why it was like you always sonnies where me and P.F. Theor just talking. I just had an edible before I came in here and it just hit me.
Starting point is 00:36:16 Yeah, I don't know where I was. Contact time. The gang doesn't understand math. All right. First pick you go. First pick in the draft that I'm putting up for an auction draft or my or I have the first pick. You have the first pick. I have the first pick. I am going to take Leveon.
Starting point is 00:36:35 No. OK. All right. Good. Good thought. I appreciate that. He's going to have a good year. I think. No, it's number. We're saying number. What position in a draft? Oh, what position?
Starting point is 00:36:45 Yeah, I'm going to want to take. No, not number. Number three. There we go. Twelve team leads. I thought you were about to say QB. I want I want number three. All right, I'll take number one.
Starting point is 00:36:55 All right. No pressure on that. You like that? Well, typically number one. Yeah, you're not going to lose with number one. OK, OK. I'm going to take it in the past. AP has been injured.
Starting point is 00:37:08 Like, I mean, like I'm going back a few years, but like you definitely picked AP in your first round last year. Well, no, I'm saying in the past, like first round, draft picks are not only true. It's true. It's true. OK, mine. This was actually going to be my number one pick. I'm going to pick two.
Starting point is 00:37:23 I like picking second. You're close to the turn when it comes back on you. Plus, you let the guy in front of you make the big decision that you've been wondering about, right? So it's like usually when you pick second, everybody knows that's the correct pick for you. Right. So like picking second for my second pick,
Starting point is 00:37:39 I'm going to take number 12 because they're like doubling up. OK. All right. I'll take I'll take pick number 11 for my second pick. Good pick. Thanks. Second pick. I'll take number 13. I want to be right. No, no, no, it's the 12, 12 team draft.
Starting point is 00:37:56 So you can take 12 team draft. So you can say you're out of picking like one through 12 or 13. No, no, 12 goes 13. So if you're in the state, your 12th position, then you take 12 and 13. Yeah, when it's coming back. So you oh, oh, I see. So I'm through 12. I get both 12 and 13. If you take one, then you get both one and 24 or whatever.
Starting point is 00:38:13 Right. So so the numbers that have been picked are one, two, three, 11 and 12. OK, I see. So coming around, you get two picks now. I am going to take what you're having me do so much. Why? I know, I know. It's like a calculator on my watch. We're not math guys either. I am going to take, I guess, 16. No, no, wait.
Starting point is 00:38:36 Hold on. One through 12. The number one through 12. It has to be one through 12. Where would you like to be in your draft order one through 12? If it gets randomized, it's like, Jerry, here is your position. What do you want that number to be? And I already said number three, right? Yeah. So you get two more picks here because I'm out. Rushmore.
Starting point is 00:38:55 Oh, oh, I see. So I get two more very good. You're not. Don't worry. What we're doing is very stupid and very confusing. So then also, I'm picking again in one through 12. Yes. Yes. I will go with number one. No, I already got one.
Starting point is 00:39:11 So I have to pick. Like I have to just go to the list. One, two, three, that's exactly. It's the dumbest idea ever. I know. Here, I guess I'll take four. I'll take four. Nice pick, Jerry. Good pick, Jerry.
Starting point is 00:39:22 And then what's your other pick? I'll take number five. Yeah. All right. I'll take, you know what? I'll take, I'll take 10. Fuck, that was going to be my pick. Yeah, I'll take 10. OK, I'm going to take eight and nine.
Starting point is 00:39:37 OK, then I'll take, I'll take six right in the middle, and then you get seven. That was a dumbest, smart, rush, more. I thought that was great. I don't want seven. I want 11. No, I already got. I took 11. Your numbers. I wasn't keeping.
Starting point is 00:39:48 Your numbers were three, four, five and seven. That's pretty good. Hey, I got to say, Kat, you have like a photographic memory that you didn't like that many numbers. But yeah, I agree. This was thank you for doing that with us because it was just the dumbest idea we've had.
Starting point is 00:40:03 It was really informative. It actually had really helped me get a strategy. I feel like I'm ready to jump into any of my drafts. Right, actually, it's a mock, mock draft. This goes back to the original Mount Rush, where we ever did. We did a Mount Rush more of the seasons, which there's only four picks.
Starting point is 00:40:17 So we just, I don't even know what we did. Remember, we did it as a, we were parodying Mount Rush. Yeah, as a group, we just listed four. Yeah, so reasons why. So we're back to square one. Were you able to do like middle, like winter fall, or just like in the, in the, in between?
Starting point is 00:40:32 Yeah, like that first snowfall when it's fresh. Right. Yeah. Because then there would be eight seasons. Yeah, that's true. That's true. That one day in February, where it's like 60 degrees.
Starting point is 00:40:42 Right, right. It was like global warming. Global warming would have been a good one. Probably not a hoax. Yeah, and to say that, you're going to be on top. As a celebrity, are you, are you big against global warming while you take like private jets everywhere?
Starting point is 00:40:53 I've never been on a, I've been on a private jet. Yeah, I was going to say that as a lie, yeah. But, oh, speaking of which, I saw you guys recently posted, you were way in the back of, it looked like Spirit Airlines. It was basically Spirit. It was bad.
Starting point is 00:41:06 You were in the last row. Yeah, kept us humble. I was in the middle seat too. You really were. People were asking me like, why are you being a beta? Why are you in the middle seat? It's like, hey, I said where I'm told to sit.
Starting point is 00:41:15 But you know, a lot of like celebrity types, like yourself, I mean, post like getting onto private jets and videos and stuff that you guys post. I mean, legit last row. Yeah, I'm very coachable. And I got to say, I don't know what the airline was, but I did see like a coin slot at the bathroom door there. So you needed like a token to go into the bathroom.
Starting point is 00:41:35 I would rather get stuck in any city in America than fly Spirit Air. That's a fact. It is, I mean, I'm not sponsored by them. Is it bad if I talk about Spirit Air? No, go for it. Allegiant, I mean, I'm about to have a, but I once flew the aforementioned airline.
Starting point is 00:41:51 It's so funny. My wife, my wife is from Northern California. And I lived, I told you in Southern California in Calabasas. We were going up to Northern California from Southern California. I went to the travel website. I noticed that one airline was about $200 less
Starting point is 00:42:10 than all the other airlines. So I clicked on it and bought it, not thinking much of it. I had never flown that airline before. Went to the gate, got there, and my wife immediately said, did you... Did you buy us tickets on Spirit Air? I was like, have you lost money in a Ponzi scheme? And she was like, why did you do that?
Starting point is 00:42:30 And I was like, come on, whatever, it's all the same. It's just, it's like a half hour flight. It'll be fine. No, no, no, no, no. It's almost worse that it's short. She was like, we're never getting out of this airport. Correct. And I was like, what are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:42:40 And she was like, Jerry, no, no. Like, by the way, my wife was in a situation where her ex flew her privately everywhere. I was gonna say, Rebecca Romain is your wife. Yes. And so you're putting, you're loading her onto Spirit Airlines. She was, in her previous relationship,
Starting point is 00:43:01 only flew privately. So what portion of the paperwork are you with your divorce? Anyway, we got there. Everyone's there. I get to the gate. It's about 10 minutes to like board. And I noticed like the ticket agent was there, but nothing, there was no action.
Starting point is 00:43:17 The door was still closed. And I went, hey, we're going to Oakland. I'm here, just when are we gonna be boarding? And she was like, what time's the flight? And I was like, it's a flight now. It's the one 10 minutes from now. And she was like, are you kidding? And I was like, no.
Starting point is 00:43:31 And she was like, like, you have to come back in like four or five hours. Yeah, it's gone. They do the catacombs for four or five hours. She went, what time is your flight? And I was like, it's now. And she was like, yeah, that's, yeah, come on, Spirit.
Starting point is 00:43:44 It's gonna be a few hours. So even if you show up like within 30 minutes of your flight, they do a catacombs where you go to the gate and they bring you all back there at once. So if you show up like that, like 30 minutes before your flight, you've already missed it. I've missed flights that way
Starting point is 00:43:58 because you have to read the fine print. Plus they charge you for everything you bring on the plane. If you want to wear a shirt on the plane, that'll be 30 bucks. Everything. You go on a pants fancy boy. All right, that's another 20. Also weird, I've never sat on a bench in a plane.
Starting point is 00:44:11 An aluminum bench. That's what they do. And the seatbelts were weird. Like it says that rope you tie. And it's like, however tight you tie yourself, that's depending on your safety. It's weird. I've never been on a convertible plane before.
Starting point is 00:44:23 That's tough. All right, Jerry, where can people see you when you're doing Wendy Williams? Fox stations, Wendy Williams time slot, man, cat and commenter. You're the best. You are. You are my Mount Rushmore.
Starting point is 00:44:34 What's up, bro? Yeah, that can be your intro. But for catchphrase? What about something with, because my name is Jerry O'Connor. Yeah, Jerry O. Jerry O, like Jerry O, no you didn't. Oh!
Starting point is 00:44:43 That's pretty good. Have you been practicing that? A little bit. Yeah, I was gonna get home. That was too good to not have practiced. What about like? Jerry O snap. Jerry O snap.
Starting point is 00:44:51 Yeah. Ooh, that's good too. Oh, heck yeah! Yeah, ooh, I like that. I like that. These are all good. These are all winners. Maybe the first show is you just testing all these out.
Starting point is 00:45:02 What about like, if I come up to like, you or like people in the audience and I go, it's tickle time! And then I like, come in like, I just tickle you like crazy. We'll come for that. We'll be your designated ticklers. We'll wear a shirt that says ticklers
Starting point is 00:45:13 and we'll just tickle everyone. Cat and commenter. I love you guys so much. I love you too, Jerry. I love you too, man. Thank you for coming in. Appreciate it. Oh!
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Starting point is 00:48:38 Okay, we now welcome on pro football hall of famer, a very special guest. It is Morton Anderson. You remember him from playing three decades in the NFL. Thank you for joining us. You're wearing the hall of fame shirt. How many of those do you have and do you wear it all the time?
Starting point is 00:48:55 Because that's a nice flex. I got the polos I got a few of. I got two gold jackets and there's a couple reasons for that. Okay. As soon as I got my first one, which I was inducted in 2017, class of 17, I get my gold jacket
Starting point is 00:49:11 and I commenced to spill red wine right away on it. Okay. That doesn't come off a gold, that does not come off. So then I got a cigar, yeah. Well, then I, and then cigar ashes. Okay. And then I got a second one, took me a while to get a second one.
Starting point is 00:49:27 So I'm at the NFC championship game with this second gold jacket now. Hanging out with Jimmy Buffett. We're excited. The Saints are winning. Rams have not yet, you know, kind of stolen the thing away from us. Right.
Starting point is 00:49:41 And I'm up kind of visiting some sweets and just hanging out and glad handing and being a gold jacket. You know what I mean? Right. So I'm walking down the hallway with Jimmy and there's like these metal frames that have the signs of the corporate sponsors
Starting point is 00:49:58 that have the sweets. And as I go past one of these metal frames, it rips a giant hole in my right. This is my second jacket now. Okay. So now this thing is flapping. And Jimmy's like, I can, I can fix it. I got some glue, you know.
Starting point is 00:50:13 Of course. And he's one of his handlers, man. So, you know, he tries to fix it. It's not working. So I let, I said, screw it. Just let it, you know, let it hang. Right. Did you ask for a third one?
Starting point is 00:50:24 Now I'm on my third one. I haven't gotten it yet. You got to sell the first two. Yeah. But I've also gotten lipstick on my left shoulder on the second one. So it's a kaleidoscope of issues. My wife's lipstick.
Starting point is 00:50:36 Okay. Mind you. Okay. I mean, you know. It's a nice flex. Be like lipstick on anything makes you look more masculine. Can I ask an important question though? Except for your lips, maybe.
Starting point is 00:50:45 What was the score when you ripped your jacket? It was still not, it hadn't gone to, to, to overtime. Did we go to overtime? Was it before or after the controversial passenger experience? Before. So everybody's happy. Interesting.
Starting point is 00:51:01 Everybody's feeling pretty sweet. I think we got to the bottom. Your jacket. Yeah. You're the reason. I am. I may be the reason. Bad vibes.
Starting point is 00:51:08 That we had seven blind mice there. I don't know. Yeah. I'll take the blame. So you said we. Now you played obviously for the Falcons as well. You played for a few different teams, but Falcons and Saints are rivals.
Starting point is 00:51:20 Three decades. Yeah. So who is we? Do you also go to Atlanta and are you treated we? Do you say we for them? You have like a million to you. The Troll Bollins, Twitter avatar of teams. Yes.
Starting point is 00:51:33 The only time I don't say we is when the Saints and the Falcons play each other. I don't go to those games because it's, how do you walk that line? Right. Well, what do you do? You got to get your ass kicked in the game. Who do you root for?
Starting point is 00:51:45 I usually, I usually root for the home team. So if I was to go to the game. Nice cop out. Don't. That's it. Chicken shit move. Yeah. That is, that is.
Starting point is 00:51:55 It is weak. At least you admit it. No, it's kind of weak. But, so I stay at home in my man cave and I wear my gold jacket and I burn more holes. I love it. The funny thing is like if you spilled red wine on your jacket around Jimmy Buffett,
Starting point is 00:52:08 I guarantee you he's got a kit on hand to take care of the red wine stick. He does. Jimmy Buffett is a guy that he can take care of like whatever alcohol you spilled. You know what the coolest thing was? About a week after I got back from the game, I'm at home, all of a sudden this big box arrives
Starting point is 00:52:23 from Margaritaville, Inc. Yeah. I'm like, this is, fuck, this is sweet. Because I know it was in the box. I mean, it's Jimmy Buffett. It's a party, yeah. It's a party in a box. Party in a box, yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:34 Right. It's a commercial grade, hardcore Margarita mix or maker. It's got like this swirly thing that transfers from one compartment into this other thing and then it was great, man. Perfect for the man cave. Perfect for the man cave. Like you had to like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Starting point is 00:52:54 A tractor, yeah, a lawn mower, yeah. So cool. 382 games played. Is that still the most? That's still, as far as I know now, Adam Vinicieri is kind of like clipping them off as we talk, got my points, got my field goals. I think I still got the games.
Starting point is 00:53:12 Okay. So I got that going for him. Yeah, we got to hold on to that. We don't know how many of his field goals came on deflated balls though. That's the thing. There might be an asterisk on that. I think he had already left for the cold.
Starting point is 00:53:23 He had, but that was the first time they got caught. We don't know how long the Patriots have been doing it beforehand. You're on your own on this one. Yeah, I'm just saying, hey, I'm trying to stand up for you. I hear you. You might be the rightful heir to that title, so. I mean, I played for all three commissioners,
Starting point is 00:53:37 which I think is kind of cool. That is cool. I started with Bert Bell, no, I didn't. I started with Roselle. And then Taglia Buu, of course, and now Goodell. So 80s, 90s, new millennium. It's crazy. Five or six guys, I think I looked it up.
Starting point is 00:53:52 And the craziest part about your career is in 1994, you get cut by the Saints, and people are saying Morton Anderson's over the hill. And then you play another 12, 13 seasons. The crazy thing about 95 was that the Saints, when you get cut in the NFL, the team has to give you documentation on why they cut you. So they give me this piece of paper in these boxes,
Starting point is 00:54:17 and they have to check one. The particular box that was checked on my account was diminishing skills, other players better. Kind of that was kind of the knock on me in 95. So I'm on a value jet back when value jet was still flying from New Orleans to Atlanta. As soon as that went down, Falcon signed me, new signing bonus.
Starting point is 00:54:46 And then we played the Saints twice. And you had that one game against the Saints after they cut you and say diminishing skills. You made the 50. 350 yarder pluses. I mean, that's pretty good. That's a great revenge game. And actually, there was a couple of signs
Starting point is 00:55:01 in the Georgia Dome. One was revenge, like you just said. A kicker revenge game is unreal. You don't get those. It's a stretch. Yeah, yeah, no, no, that happened. And then the other one was, what were you snorting when you got rid of Morton?
Starting point is 00:55:14 I like that one. I think that's a good sign. Yes, that's a very good sign. That's a very good sign. I actually think that you probably could have kept kicking for a little bit longer. So you were going for the 50. I was trying to get to 50.
Starting point is 00:55:26 Yeah, did you think that it was going to happen? Did you think so much was designed? I did until March of when I was 48. And I started preparing in March for my 26th season. Blanda played 26 years, less games, because he played less games. That was 12 or 14. 14, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:45 14th season. So I could not prepare to be great anymore. My plant leg was shot. I couldn't recruit power through the ball. And I had just come off two pretty good years, 06, 07. 07 was my most accurate year. Now, granted, I wasn't hitting 60 yarders. But still, it was my best year in 25 years.
Starting point is 00:56:07 And the way I had gotten there, guys, was pretty cool. I don't know. Do you mind if I tell you a little story? Absolutely, yeah, absolutely. This story is pretty cool. So in 2004, I'm with the Vikings. I have a good year. I think I missed two field goals all year.
Starting point is 00:56:23 So I'm thinking I might be back with the Vikings. I might not. But I'm, you know, wife and kids are in Atlanta. Let me see if I can get Atlanta to bite. Let me see if I can sell myself on them. So I'm here in 2005 in Atlanta. I start training. Basically, it would start in March.
Starting point is 00:56:40 Now, I wouldn't put foot to ball until June 1st. And there was a reason for that. You can kick yourself out in the off season. Really? I did that, yeah. You did that? Yeah, I can't kick 50 year field goals anymore. Too many kicks.
Starting point is 00:56:53 Football should have listened. I was functional training, guys. So I was doing everything but foot to ball. So I would functional train March, April, June. I'm thinking the phone's going to ring right away. Phone doesn't ring. It doesn't ring for two months. It doesn't ring for 20 months.
Starting point is 00:57:11 So now, 2005, I don't play. And I'm sitting there. And the guys are missing left and right. I can't believe I can't get a call. But I'm ready. I'm ready just in case somebody calls and say, come in and do the thing. So now we're in 2006.
Starting point is 00:57:28 I'm a year older. I'm 46 now. I'm sitting in my basement with my neighbor, Eric. And we're watching the Falcons play the box. The guy from the Falcons is having a really shitty day. He missed four field goals inside of 40 yards. I turned to Eric at that point, my neighbor. And I said, hey, I'm switching to water.
Starting point is 00:57:51 He goes, why, man? The phone's going to ring in 20 minutes after this game is over. And he said, bullshit. It hasn't rang in 20 months. I said, oh, see, I'm the fucking phone rang. It rang. Right after the game?
Starting point is 00:58:05 Hey, man, can you come in tomorrow at 9 o'clock for a workout? I said, how about I'm buying myself time because I got to get hydrated. So I said, well, how about 2 o'clock? He said, all right, 2 o'clock. So I think it's just me. And they want to see if the leg's still attached to the hip.
Starting point is 00:58:20 It's not. It's me and four flat bellies, half my age. Now, I'm 46 these guys. Well, that's what we're doing. No, I like that. That's a great phrase. They're 23, 22 right out of college. I'm 46.
Starting point is 00:58:33 And I've been grinding 20 months in a public park. Now, let me set the stage and the humility that I was going through for those 20 months. Imagine wearing your Pro Bowl jersey. And I had seven of them at that time to a public park. I had Kenny Stabler's shoulder pads. I had a Saints helmet. I had Giants pants from 2001 when I was with the Giants.
Starting point is 00:58:57 Because I always practiced like I wanted to play. Wear the shit you're going to wear in the game. Wear it and practice. So I'm out at Perkel Park, not at Perkel Park. George Pierce Park in this outfit. And I would have to defer the field to the little leaguers and their parents when they needed the field.
Starting point is 00:59:13 I would have to bribe the county workers to cut the grass. Unreal. So that was my mentality for 20 months. All right, that's the backstory on it. So back to the call from the Falcons. Now, I'm ready. I'm totally ready to go and very motivated. By the way, I'm 77 points away from becoming the all-time
Starting point is 00:59:34 leading scorer in the history of the game. Nice little carrot, too. Yeah, absolutely. So I go out there at 2 o'clock for the workout. And here are these four flat bellies, half my age. And it's mano a mano. And we hit 15 balls, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 55, and back in. There was an orange stripe on the net between the uprights.
Starting point is 00:59:57 It signals the middle. Always liked the middle. Why, it never changes. Good point. Hit 14 out of 15 on the stripe. The 15th kind of grazed. But goes through. Goes through.
Starting point is 01:00:09 So I'm 15. I feel pretty good. So I turn around and everybody's standing there. Coach Morris standing there. Rich McKay, a bunch of scouts. And I could see the four flat bellies kind of got discouraged. Exit right. And I felt good.
Starting point is 01:00:23 I turned around and said, questions, anyone. And my special teams coach, Joe DeCamillis goes. Yeah, I have one question. Black or blue ink? Black ink. I signed a one year deal for the minimum. And three months later in the Georgia Dome on, I think, middle of December against the Cowboys.
Starting point is 01:00:47 I kicked a, at the time, was just an extra point, but very meaningful that that allowed me to become the all time leading scorer in the history of the game. Incredible. I mean, just the visual of you being out there, pro football hall of famer. Obviously not a hall of famer yet. But people know you're a legend at a public park.
Starting point is 01:01:06 But kicking field goals, bribing county workers. It's unbelievable. But the juice, you know, the whole thing was, hey, what if I had, it could have been a shit show, right? Because if I had not prepared myself in those 20 months, now I get a chance. Now it's embarrassing. Could you imagine a field day you guys would have had on my
Starting point is 01:01:24 behalf if I'm all over the place? Right. But I went in there, I was ready to go and got it done. So the satisfaction was really, I mean, big. So you spent all this time training to get back because you had some goals you wanted hit, obviously. But I have to also think that if you're willing to dedicate 20 months of training without getting a call, there's
Starting point is 01:01:46 something that you actually like about stepping out onto a field and kicking a ball and watching you go through the upright. So Ray, that's got to be satisfaction for you. Correct. But much more deeper than that, man, is that the human, like the human element of improvement. How do you improve more than normal?
Starting point is 01:02:06 Your back has to be against the wall. It's not when your hands are above your head, everything's going fucking great. That's not when you're getting it done. It's when you're down, man, and nobody believes in you. I like that. In the military, we call the world a suck. The world a suck, you've got to embrace.
Starting point is 01:02:24 You guys do radio. You do a really good job, I think. Thank you. I'm a fan. Appreciate it. We do embrace the suck on this show. You embrace the suck sometimes because you run out of questions.
Starting point is 01:02:34 Now what? Right. Right. I don't have one more. Yeah, I think we'll be all right. Yeah, yeah, we'll be OK. But you know, you might have run into a guest and I've, you know, I got a couple in mind maybe that you can relate to.
Starting point is 01:02:48 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Dak Prescott. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep. Yep. And you just got to turn into it sometimes. You got to embrace the suck and just curl the toes, man, and go. That's fantastic.
Starting point is 01:03:05 How long a field goal do you think you could kick right now? As long as you need, brother, how? Right in the middle. Are we winning the game? Are we just going up free nothing? You know, 36 yards specifically. Is that what it was? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:18 36 yards. No, 43. 43. The Bears. 43 yards. 43 yards. Oh, yeah, the Bears and the Uprights. Yes.
Starting point is 01:03:25 So I have my very distinct opinion on why he kept hitting the Uprights. OK, let's hear it. And you may have heard already. OK. Because the Bears aren't good at scouting talent and they kept him on the team. No, because in practice, he would practice hitting the Uprights. It's true.
Starting point is 01:03:39 You're right. Yeah. So you never tried that. So your mind, you know. You were right down the middle all the time. Aim for the middle. Why? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:46 It never changes. So about that, Cody Park, you obviously, and we've seen it with many kickers, the yips, and getting in your own head. Did you ever go through anything like that? So you haven't gone through anything like that, but when you watch someone going through that? I usually.
Starting point is 01:04:00 Like, what's your thought on sitting there watching someone just struggle so mightily? What would your advice be to the person? Take up golf, man. You stink. Yeah, yeah. But it's always fascinating to watch. It is hard to.
Starting point is 01:04:14 And a lot of the young guys, they get in their own way, man. And it's not that complicated, you know. Kepke is a good example in golf, right? Yeah, our guy. Yeah. Just, hey, whatever. Right. Just get out there and hit golf.
Starting point is 01:04:28 I trust my skill. Right. I trust that I'm really good. And when the lights come on, I'm just going to go out and be me. Sometimes you overanalyze the paralysis by analysis, all that bullshit. I think more importantly is to be in the moment
Starting point is 01:04:42 and be present. Right. Be present. Right. And a kicker needs to really recruit his dominant response, his dominant behavior for a very short period of time. Most of my time is on the sideline, guys. Drinking Gatorade, looking at cheerleaders, you know.
Starting point is 01:05:01 Yeah. I mean, going, oh, shit, it's fourth down. I got to go. I mean, it really is a very 1.2 seconds from snap to kick. So I probably, in a year, play maybe 10 minutes. Well, how are those 10 minutes? They better be really good, right? To get it done.
Starting point is 01:05:21 So for me, the advice I have to these guys that go through, like you said, the yips or the doubting themselves, is just to stay in the moment and have a short-term memory. Do you think the extra point moving back has had anything to do with kickers maybe having a little more problems? Because I would assume going out for an extra point is just a nice, it's almost like getting a layup in basketball.
Starting point is 01:05:41 Just see the ball go through the hoop. Yeah. And here's the reason why it's an issue for these guys. It's no longer an extra point. Right. It is a 33-yard field goal. I tell my guys that it's not an extra point. Forget that you only get one point.
Starting point is 01:05:55 You have to treat this as a 33-yard field goal. And in the NFL, you're expected to make everything inside of 40 yards, 10 out of 10, or you're going to be unemployed. That's a fact. Those are your money kicks. Is it sexy to have a 64-yard? Hell, yeah, it's sexy as hell.
Starting point is 01:06:13 I mean, you know. You're walking proof of it. It's cool. You're sexy as hell. Thank you. I mean, you're walking around with this pro football polo, which I love. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:20 I actually might get one of those. I'll just use that one. Are you a medium? Yeah, medium. Medium, good. Yeah, you're right. Yep, yep, yep, yep. No, but you're right.
Starting point is 01:06:29 Like, there is 40 and in. If you don't hit it, everybody wants to help. And you better have some swagger 40 and in, man. Yeah. Come on. You got to own. Really kick it in. That's your work bench.
Starting point is 01:06:38 You better own that shit. You better own 40 and in. And then once you got that, you've earned the right to go outside of 40. I tell my guys that in practice, they want to be out there banging 55s, 57s. What are you doing? How about a 38 from the right hash?
Starting point is 01:06:55 How about a 39, a 34, a 37 from the middle? Show me you can make 10 out of 10. And then we'll talk about going past 40 yards. Right. So you do actually have an enormous amount of swagger for a kicker. Absolutely. Did you ever get any shit from your teammates?
Starting point is 01:07:11 Being like, hey, man, you're a kicker. Why are you dripping all the swag on me? No, not at all, because they knew when it came down to it that they could count on me, man. A lot of guys say, hey, man, they call time out on you. Did that affect you at all, like the icing? They iced you. And I said, you can't ice ice.
Starting point is 01:07:34 That's great. Great saying. I love it. That's swagger. That is can't ice ice. Great dain. Can't ice. You've been in the ice, man.
Starting point is 01:07:40 Yeah. Great. They know the cold. So I know the cold. Yeah. I know this tasteful. I spent 20 months in it. And then I smelled the sweet success.
Starting point is 01:07:52 Right? Can't ice ice. But it gets better when you have to work for it. It feels better when you've failed. To me, I mean, if my hands were on my head for 25 years, is that interesting? Right. That's not really interesting to me.
Starting point is 01:08:08 Don't you think the failure is really a kind of a cool thing? Yeah, no. And it builds swagger? Yeah. If you bounce back from failure, then yeah, absolutely. You were swagged out. And if you don't, it's, you know. It's in the room.
Starting point is 01:08:20 That's a pity. You go play golf somewhere. Yeah. I wanted to talk quickly about the NFC Championship game, Falcons Vikings, because you make the winning kick. But your brother, Gary Anderson, misses it in a famous way. I know he's not actually your brother. But he misses it in a famous way.
Starting point is 01:08:40 I assume you guys were friends. And what was it like talking with him after that? Because that's. Didn't see him. I was too busy running around with the NFC trophy over my head. Right. But maybe a couple months passed. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:53 I did feel bad for him. I felt terrible that because he was 35 for 35. Right. And that team was, maybe you could say, besides the 16-0 Patriots, probably the best team to not win a Super Bowl. That team was lights out the Vikings. Yeah, I told Gary, I said, you should have taken my route,
Starting point is 01:09:09 man, and missed a bunch in the beginning of the season. Pressure would have been off. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, do you think that affected him, the fact that he was perfect all year? I don't. I haven't actually spoken to him about the specific 38-yard field roll he missed.
Starting point is 01:09:25 Same spot I made mine in overtime. Exact same spot. Left hash, crazy. Right. He just pulled it slightly, man. It was, you know. Yeah, you'd think though, being perfect all year, then getting to that moment.
Starting point is 01:09:42 The moment was big. It's a huge moment, and you've been perfect all year, so it's. They would have gone up by 10. You always talk about it with teams. Like if they had lost in the regular season, maybe they win the championship. You know what I mean? You see in college basketball or the Patriots,
Starting point is 01:09:56 like we just said, if they lose that game to the Giants, then they maybe beat them in the Super Bowl. You know, I still bust balls out a bunch of the guys from that team. Of the Vikings, and they were the best offensively. That year, they broke all kinds of records. Yeah. John Randall, Randy Moss.
Starting point is 01:10:14 Chris Carter. Chris Carter, and particularly those three guys I see every year in Cannes, Ohio. And just kind of remind mostly John Randall, because John is great. John is, you know, if I can John Randall with the mask, I mean, come on. Yeah, very intimidating.
Starting point is 01:10:34 Absolutely. Yeah, but just a great dude. And as soon as he sees me, he goes, no, no, you're not going, no, you're not saying, oh, fuck you, man. He starts running away from me. I go, I won't. And then so I leave him hanging, like, because he knows it's coming at some point
Starting point is 01:10:48 during that weekend, you know. And I'll just make a nasty reference to that game, you know, or... One time I wore the NFC championship game, and I just kind of like flashed it for him. Like I kind of sat there right in front of him. What's that? That's...
Starting point is 01:11:05 Oh, this one? Yeah, we lost it then, but it's a loser ring, but you didn't even get that, did you? Yeah, and then one of those, you know. This is actually my second one. I lost the other one punching Jimmy Buffett in the face in the brawl one. But it was...
Starting point is 01:11:18 Yeah, he's good. It must be awesome going to Canton every year. You know, it's like a big frat part. Well, not a frat party, but kind of a nicely manored frat party with a few scary elements here and there. Jerry Jones. You know, I'm not gonna go into... That would be, you know, can't go into...
Starting point is 01:11:38 Right, we're not gonna tell any tales out of school here. Yeah. But good time for sure. Lot of stories and, you know, a few cocktails being slung back and forth. And I can't believe I'm there, man. A freaking specialist who spends his life kicking a football. And I'm there with Roger Starback and, you know,
Starting point is 01:12:01 Emmett Smith and Jim Brown and, God bless him, Walter Payton, man, if you had been around. You know, Walter, I've met him many times, played Pro Bowls with Walter Payton, one of the funniest, funniest guys you'll ever meet. Yeah. No, that is great that you have a yearly party that's always scheduled just like to remind you
Starting point is 01:12:20 how lucky you are to be in that place. That's gotta be a cool feeling. Always something to look forward to. So, so cool. And it made me realize I played with or against... Everybody. Yeah. It's, you know, Jen, my wife, she goes,
Starting point is 01:12:34 you played with everybody. Mm-hmm. I said, I know. I either played with them or against them or absolutely met them at some point in a uniform somewhere. Jan Stenerutzi, the other kicker in the hall from Norway, Kansas City Chiefs. And he and I have a picture where I was like my rookie year
Starting point is 01:12:55 with the Saints and he was with the Vikings. And we were, you know, 18, 19 years removed. But I played, I played with Kenny Stapler. Mm-hmm. I played with Archie Manning. Archie Manning. Yeah, that's crazy. Like Payton and Eli used to come out to practice
Starting point is 01:13:11 with Archie and hang out. And they were like eight and 10 or something. I mean, you know, this thing goes back a long, long ways. Yeah. It's really cool. Who's your favorite teammate through all the years? Clay Matthews Sr. Ooh, there you go.
Starting point is 01:13:27 There it is. So there it is. I just dated myself big time, right? Yeah. Clay was funny. We used to do practical jokes on each other. I would do the classic hot bomb in his jockstrap. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:39 Didn't like that when he got it on his guy stuff. It's tough. Yes. So he got me back. He went in. So our days are for Tuesday. He went in. He had this confetti bomb rigged to my helmet
Starting point is 01:13:52 with fishing line, transparent fishing line, hit it out of sight, had a carpenter, had like one of the equipment guys like drill holes in my locker like, you know, and did these spools with the fishing line that was attached to this confetti bomb. So when I ripped my helmet off the hook, as it would, it hangs there, you know.
Starting point is 01:14:16 I would never notice it. I would go off, it would great fanfare in a big bang and go, boom, boom, you know. So Wednesday of course, here comes practice and I noticed he was sitting in it because usually he goes out early because the old guys, we need more time to warm up. So he's still sitting on his stool,
Starting point is 01:14:34 kind of just pretending his rap, kind of taping his wrist. He's just waiting. He's looking up every couple of seconds. He's just kind of, you know, his locker was like one block over, if you will. So I pull this thing, it goes off. I mean, scared of living, she hit hard on me.
Starting point is 01:14:52 Boom, confetti goes flying everywhere and all I can hear is Clay, you know. Got you. Oh, it's great stuff. Love it. I love that stuff. All right, my last question, you were talking beforehand,
Starting point is 01:15:06 so you are still busy doing a bunch of stuff and you're working with some stuff in Vegas, correct? Actually out of Copenhagen, a company. Yeah, well they're in the US market now, Better Collective, BETTR Collective, BetterCollective.com, very cool company out of Copenhagen. They've been around for 15 years in Europe, in the UK. What, through their affiliate marketing
Starting point is 01:15:31 and their partners, they've bought some companies over here in the US now with the repeal of PAFTA and now it's up to the individual states, largely to decide what they want to do with online gambling. Better Collective has entered the US and has hired me as their US ambassador. Nice.
Starting point is 01:15:50 And what they try to do is to enable the iGamer in a transparent fashion to help them to educate and we have tips, tipsters. Okay. That will help the iGamer. I always love hot tips, yeah. Yeah, guys, and they will reward the tipsters based on their performance.
Starting point is 01:16:06 Hell yeah. So it's very transparent, very objective. You know, we've taken all the power away from the offshore bookies and gotten rid of the darkness and made it light. Love it. Now we're all going to get rich. Made it entertaining.
Starting point is 01:16:20 Yeah, now we're going to cash in, baby. The right way. Yes. You know? I'll probably still lose, but yeah. So go check out Better Collective and on their website, they have all their affiliate partners and done a really nice job.
Starting point is 01:16:35 And I'm proud to be part of them. That Danish mentality of due diligence, doing it the right way, doing your research, not being in a hurry, 20 months in the park, hello, not perhaps wanting or needing to have the result right now, but understanding that small wins equals great success. Baby steps, what a lot of little is,
Starting point is 01:17:03 that's Better Collective, that's me. I didn't know that was the Danish mentality. I learned something today. So like very, very detail oriented, focused on the end. Correct. You like the process. But process, but you're not chasing after anything too immediate, take your time.
Starting point is 01:17:17 Yup. I like the Danish mentality. The other thing I learned about the Danish culture today is that you have the greatest accent ever. Your accent is awesome. Are you flirting? No, I'm not flirting, but you sound like in die hard. I feel like I'm with the,
Starting point is 01:17:30 I actually, this might be too forward of me, but we do some voiceovers when we make videos. Would you do one for us? Oh, are you kidding me? Would you do voiceover work? I never have. Well, you do do it. You know, you are an exclusive voiceover guy.
Starting point is 01:17:43 Cool. You have an awesome accent. I mean, I know I can't be a Blake, so I want to go there. No, you're not a Blake. I know, I get that. I get that. You're not a Blake.
Starting point is 01:17:51 The Blake's don't have the Danish mentality. No, but you're not a Blake. Yeah, listen. What about a Danish Blake? You can't force. No, no, we don't have a Blake. We're not even gonna go there. We'll tell you if you're a Blake.
Starting point is 01:18:01 How do you spell that? Yeah, I like that. I will let you know if you ever become a Blake. A baby steps. Yes, but I actually want you to do our voiceovers because we always do it ourselves and it sucks. So you got the voice for it. It does sound very comforting.
Starting point is 01:18:14 Yeah, I like it. Cool. Actually, I have a voiceover thing for you. All right, go ahead. Do it real quick. Go ahead. As long as we're not doing karaoke. We can do karaoke.
Starting point is 01:18:22 I can sing. My last question, out of all the kickers in the game right now, which one do you think has the most Morton Anderson in them? Swagger? Man, I would say Justin Tugger and Baltimore. Adam Minatteri has been around for a long time. So I like his staying power. Matt Bryant, he's done now, but he had some.
Starting point is 01:18:42 He was around for a while, yeah. He was banging. He was 44 and hitting 55 yards like there were 40 yards. So the 50 yards are like the new 40 yards and the 60 yards. You're going to see a bunch of 60 yards this year, guys. And the Browns. And that was a great interview, by the way, with Baker Mayfield. Oh, thank you.
Starting point is 01:19:01 Yeah, we love Baker. Appreciate it. That was a good one. Did you ever wear the single bar face mask? No, two. Two bars. The double bar. Lots of room.
Starting point is 01:19:09 You can get a fist through right there. But my teeth were safe. Did you ever get hit in the face? You ever get punched? No, two concussions. One by a guy. I won't name it. It doesn't matter.
Starting point is 01:19:21 Back when the Houston Oilers. Guy Short said on a kickoff. So I'm opening kickoff against the Oilers. I kick a touch back, as Gary Uprimian would say. I kick it. My head is down. I'm trying to regain balance. And this guy just absolutely annihilates me.
Starting point is 01:19:39 He separates my shoulders, bruises, two ribs. I have a concussion. Not from the hit, but from me hitting the astroturf. And when I woke up, I'm like, booo! Looking out of the ear hole, you know? Yeah, right. And of course, back then, there was no concussion protocol. Here's some smelling salt and go on with your business.
Starting point is 01:19:57 That's what we do, too, yeah. Yeah, yeah. All right, I got your first voice over work for us. Oh, man, my glasses. Let me see if I can read that. That's a good one. I'm getting there. Can I?
Starting point is 01:20:11 You don't have to finish it. People will know what that was. Oh, my God. That's good. That was happy, man. That was, wow. We will be in touch about voice over work, though. You are going to do real voice over work.
Starting point is 01:20:24 That's not real voice over work. That's voice under, man. That's voice under. All right, well, thank you so much. This has been awesome. Appreciate it, man. Thanks. That interview with Morton Anderson
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Starting point is 01:21:33 It's like a buffet made of life insurance. And what could be more delicious than that? OK, let's get some segments, finish up the show. First up, we have thoughts and prayers to Hugh Jackson. He is not a loser, even though he lost a lot of football games. But he wants it to be known that he's not a loser, despite the losing. He's not a loser.
Starting point is 01:21:55 He tied several games. So there's that. And he said that he wanted something about when he got fired, he went home and he stayed in his basement for three days. Like, we're supposed to feel sorry for you for that. Number one, basements are awesome. So I would love to spend time in any basement for three days.
Starting point is 01:22:11 Number two, he said he just slept all the time. That sounds amazing, too. I would love to get fired as an NFL coach one day. Here's my problem with Hugh Jackson. And I'm basing it off of what I saw in Hard Knocks, which we know that the team gets editorial control over. So Hugh Jackson watched it and was like, I look good. So it's based on that.
Starting point is 01:22:32 It's based on his immediate, like, mediator after he got fired. And it's based on this article. And I'm not saying that Hugh Jackson doesn't deserve a little sympathy. It seems like he's gone through some hard things in his life. But he also feels like the type of guy who is just trying to manipulate the world
Starting point is 01:22:50 into feeling bad for Hugh Jackson. Because guess what? He already tried to do the, I was actually unfairly fired and I wanted every good quarterback that's ever been drafted in the last five years. And it was everyone else's fault. If your immediate reaction to being fired
Starting point is 01:23:05 is to blame literally everyone else on national television, I'm kind of done with you. And then he took the job with the Bengals and played against the Browns while still getting paid for the Browns. And now when all that doesn't work, he's like, oh yeah, let's do the sob story feature on me in Sports Illustrated.
Starting point is 01:23:22 And again, there's some parts of his life and the fact that he made it as a head coach is astounding and all that stuff. Like he beat a lot of odds. But I'm just kind of over the Hugh Jackson. Everyone should feel bad for me. Whoa is me. You're stunk as a head coach.
Starting point is 01:23:36 You could be a good offensive coordinator. You're stunk as a head coach. I think that's okay to say. No, I think that's fair to say. I think that's definitely fair to say. And I'm not a loser clip, that headline, is that's just so wonderful. What else could you hope for on your tombstone?
Starting point is 01:23:52 I want my tombstone to just say, Hugh Jackson wasn't a loser. Dude, it's like when Jim Caldwell had to answer the question of whether or not he was dead or not. Like when you have to answer that question, when you have to address the fact that people are saying you're a loser, guess what, you're a loser.
Starting point is 01:24:10 And I love how it's in so many coaches that get fired. They do the media tour and then about six months later, they have to do the media tour for their media tour. And Sports Illustrated does that all the time. The profile of the fired coach, that's like their bread and butter. I mean, I can count, it probably takes me two hands. I could name you seven different times
Starting point is 01:24:29 that they've done this with the fired coach, who's just like sitting in a room locked with game film, trying to get back into the game somehow. Like offering their coaching services for free to the local high school. This is just what happens. And the Browns, obviously nobody inside that building really misses Hugh, but he's still staying in Cleveland,
Starting point is 01:24:47 which is kind of a weird place. He's saying that, you know, he goes to the Chipotle or whatever and the person, there's always nice. And they're like, Hey, sorry, it didn't work out. Just move out of Cleveland, Hugh. Just leave bad, bad juju inside that town. Get out. In the article, it said that he was moving
Starting point is 01:25:01 in three weeks to Cincinnati. I can't believe he stayed for that long though, but you're right. Sports Illustrated is so funny. They're always, it always starts the same. It's like, man, I just missed football. I have to be with my shitty family and get paid millions of dollars to not work.
Starting point is 01:25:13 Yeah. Woe is me. Like, and I love it too. They're always like for, for, for the last 42 falls, he like coach fill in the blank knows exactly where he would be coaching up his team with a whistle in his mouth. This fall is different.
Starting point is 01:25:30 He's at his $10 million home with his five kids and getting paid to not work. Damn, he, it's really sucks to be him. I think my favorite one was Greg Shiano when, when they did the profile of him. And it was like him cooking breakfast for his family and his family was like, dad, don't fucking make breakfast again.
Starting point is 01:25:48 I hate it when you make breakfast. You suck at it. He's like, this is my special Rancho's Wavos. The secret is taco seasoning. And then his daughter's like, shut the fuck up, Greg. Yeah, go back, go back to coaching and guess what? That's the best part about all these articles. The, being a coach at that level is like being
Starting point is 01:26:06 a Supreme Court Justice or being in the mafia. You always have a job. Someone will always hire you. One of your friends will always pick up the slack. So no, I don't feel bad for you, Hugh Jackson. You could go get a job tomorrow anywhere in the NFL as like a quality control guy, offensive, you know, specialist or anything like that.
Starting point is 01:26:24 And you would get paid a lot of money to be a coach. Hold back. Don't feel bad for Hugh Jackson. Yeah. He'd be a great hold back guy. That's all he's done with the Browns for the last four years. But did you see the thing about the Browns would have, there was a dude that got a Super Bowl tattoo, a Cleveland Browns 2020 Super Bowl champions tattoo
Starting point is 01:26:40 on his leg, which I love seeing that because it's the first time in the history of the Browns or in the since they've been these new Browns after they moved to Baltimore that somebody could get that tattoo. And I'm not sure if it's ironic or not. Like, I think it's I think I think the person actually believes that they're going to be Super Bowl champions. In which case, that's the high watermark
Starting point is 01:27:02 for that franchise for the last 20 years. Yeah, that's when you that's the arrival moment. It's not when you make the playoffs. It's not when you win 12 games or when you're division. It's when a fan, a crazy fan gets a tattoo and everyone's like, maybe not that crazy. Yeah, I can see it. Right. All right.
Starting point is 01:27:20 Next up, we have Way to Stay Relevant Baseball. They sent out a memo saying that everyone doing over the counter dick pills could get them busted for PEDs. So stop trying to get raging hard boners with your 7-Eleven rhino dust or whatever the fuck they're called. Yeah, Rhino Max. I mean, I'm a big fan of just like the names of those pills. I've always thought about trying them,
Starting point is 01:27:42 but I never really muster up the courage to go ahead and buy one because who knows what's in it. But I could see baseball players is loading up on that over the counter shit, just like, yeah, Trevor Bauer. When he sees like any sort of pill that says like rhino rock boner, he's like, fuck, yes, this pill was marketed for me. Trevor Bauer, I'll take all you got, including the ones in the back. And the best part about this story
Starting point is 01:28:05 that's kind of going under the radar a little bit is you've got old school legacy baseball reporters that have to get out there. And like Peter Gammons has to be in front of a camera being like, yeah, they had to report that that horny goat weed might make you fail a drug test. Just hearing those words coming out of like Ken Rosenthal's bowtide ass, that that makes it worth it for me. Bob Nightingale and Heyman have to have to talk about boner pills. I love it. And here's what it here's what they really should say relevant, though.
Starting point is 01:28:33 Mike Trout, they should just tell Mike Trout, hey, we're going to fake bust you for this because guess what? You'll be the most marketable, funniest guy. Like here is the solution to how do we market Mike Trout? He's the boner guy. I like that. Or just make a boner pill for Mike Trout. Just have him be the face of the off like off brand boner pill franchise. That that way people always say like, would you recognize this person in a shopping mall?
Starting point is 01:28:58 Well, if the shopping mall sold Mike Trout's guaranteed big wood on it, then fuck, yeah, I would recognize them. Exactly. He just hits dingers and gets massive erections. That's my that's what Mike does. That is the way to beat your your East Coast bias. You're no one's staying up to watch Mike Trout hit mammoth home runs. Well, guess what? He has huge ass hard ons and that's Mike Trout.
Starting point is 01:29:22 That's what he does. All right, PR 101 Patrick Chung. He got arrested for having coke in his house, which I guess it was a burglary. Should he use? I don't know, actually, if we should bleep that because that was probably a bad ad. But he had what would it is? What did what happened? His alarm went off.
Starting point is 01:29:42 The cops went there and then he just was Tony Montagna. Then he just had a mountain of coke, I guess. Yeah, I don't know exactly what the situation was, if it was a false alarm or not. But the blueprints out on how beat the Patriots just by the mall video security systems and then and then trigger the alarms and then have the cops come and bust them up. What are your thoughts on this, Hank? Yeah, it seems like a setup, to be honest.
Starting point is 01:30:04 There we go. That's really the only conclusion I have. I also don't know what, like, I mean, what kind of setup are we talking about here? Someone probably gave him the cocaine and then call the cops on him. We're like, Hey, there's coke in that. Oh, yeah. Classic setup. So I'll probably put the cocaine up his nose at like 2 a.m.
Starting point is 01:30:21 at a club being like, Hey, this would make a hilarious setup. Have smelling salt. Partying. This is going to show him. Yeah, I'm going to sell Patrick Chung cocaine and then call the cops. Implicating myself because I sold it to him. I like it. I like where your head's at. I mean, this has been a pattern for Belichick coach teams for a while. His best defensive players, Lawrence Taylor.
Starting point is 01:30:43 I'm sure he has similar situations. Here's the craziest part about this story. Everyone reported it. And I didn't realize Patrick Trump has been on the Patriots since 2009. Yeah, no one makes it that long on the Patriots. Yeah, he's very maybe that was the. It could be Belichick trying to get rid of him.
Starting point is 01:31:01 There you go. I mean, I just said it was a setup. I didn't say it was by if Belichick set up Patrick Chung. If he planted this coke and triggered the alarm, would you take Belichick's side in this? Yeah. Yeah, of course. Of course. Duh. Yeah, of course. There's a reason for it. All right. Hank, let's do FAQs.
Starting point is 01:31:20 And by the way, before you start, I have an FAQ. How how low are you wearing your pants right now? Not to be all dad on. Well, Hank doesn't have an ass. So I'm just looking at his ass. Yeah, I'm looking at your ass. He's got nothing to hold it up. I have an inverted ass. It's concave.
Starting point is 01:31:35 I wish to do a body's issue with just Hank. Who's search history would you rather see? Lenny Dykstra or Jerry Jones? Jerry Jones, because I know what's on Lenny Dykstra's. It's just a bunch of back page. He just Googles back page all the time. He's like, when will the FBI let this page come back up again? With Jerry Jones, he probably doesn't know how to use a phone
Starting point is 01:32:02 correctly. So just anything that pops into his mind, he just probably uses Siri, the assistant. Actually, Siri probably gets like a lot of stray Googles out of Jerry Jones when he accidentally hits the button on it. Lenny Dykstra's Google history would get depressing real fast. I feel like it would be funny for the first three lines. And then if you keep on going, you're like, OK, this is just what he looked for. Yeah, he looked for a Rubin tug next to the Jersey mikes
Starting point is 01:32:31 in the middle of like, you know, North Northeast Jersey at two in the morning on a on a Tuesday. This is this sucks. This is sucks to read. Jerry Jones is just like, how much should I disrespect my running back today? Yeah. Yeah. Good jokes to disrespect my running back. By the way, if I'm Zeke, I'm sitting out the whole season. Like I have more power to Zeke on this one.
Starting point is 01:32:53 Zeke, don't play this year at all. Zeke who? Oh, Hank's sub-PMT boys. I've always wondered how the fuck do you guys handle your Twitter notifications? Do you ever feel overwhelmed? Good question. My phone. I didn't. I was going to say my phone acts up once every like six to eight months where it just starts sending me notifications for every single like that I get. I don't know how this happens.
Starting point is 01:33:17 So I just turned off all my like notifications. Yeah, I would say it's been an evolution where it used to be that I would see every single reply and every single mention. Now, if you catch it in off hours, I'll probably see it. But if it's during any type of sporting event, during anything that's going on, that's like funny on Twitter, I just don't even see any mentions. Like I'll see that maybe like one or two and then just keep scrolling. Yeah. If you want to get big cats attention now, you have to like shoot them a tweet.
Starting point is 01:33:45 I'd say between the hours of like two and five when you might be up breastfeeding the kid from your giant nipples and then you're just second Twitter with the other hand and then you'll probably respond to that. Asking for a madden code and I'll respond. Yeah. What's good, guys? I have a two for for the people. What other shows at Barstool you guys involved with? I found out PFT produces LCB today.
Starting point is 01:34:07 And two, do big cat and PFT have protégés or are they just never going to retire? That's a good question. So I yeah, I OK. I'm the vice president of football operations is the term that I prefer. But yeah, I executive produce lights, camera, Barstool and hard factor. The Daily News show, by the way, those guys are fucking hilarious. Download that show. It comes out every day. It's like 20 minutes long.
Starting point is 01:34:29 Just get your news fixed while you're taking a shower after you listen to part of my take. So I do those and to answer your question about the protégé, I guess just I'm trying to teach Hank how to get an ass. One day at a time, I do. I do Barstool, Chicago Red Line Radio, Dogwalk. I'm trying to think what else and we do serious shows. I here's one that I here's where I wanted to go with this though, PFT. I don't know if you noticed, but a fantasy football factory,
Starting point is 01:34:58 the show that we quote unquote executive proves the show that Hank planted this question, which I'm surprised you didn't realize that I didn't planted this question. So we would specifically bring this up. We are not we are not only not followed by fantasy football factory on Twitter, but not listed as anything to do with it. Interesting. So I'm a block, I'm a block. I didn't realize that I got to make some changes. That's why I asked that question.
Starting point is 01:35:28 I listened to the first episode. Sure. Thank you. I thought it was very good. I appreciate that. You're welcome. I didn't. I thought it sucked. I appreciate that, too. Do you guys have any respect for the Amazon rainforest? I think it's pretty clear that we don't by the way that we addressed it earlier. I have all the respect for the Amazon rainforest retweet for respect.
Starting point is 01:35:49 Yeah, I saw somebody getting mad that we were talking about chicken sandwiches on Twitter. Like he was like, my timelines filled with people arguing about chicken when the rainforest is burning. And it's like, you want you want me to write a check to the environment? I'll do it. Yeah. What do we do? Yeah, someone. Where do I say cash for the environment? Tell us how to reverse a hundred years of insane, irreversible destruction we've done to our earth.
Starting point is 01:36:15 Tell us and we'll do it. I'll watch Ferngully tonight. How about that? There you go. With college football coming back and this may have been said, but what happened to Stingray Steve? Oh, good question. Stingray Steve is involved, I think, in ongoing litigation against a number of people and we may or may not be included in that.
Starting point is 01:36:34 So no more Stingray. Yeah, I think Stingray. I don't think we specifically like part of my take is being sued, but I could be wrong. Either way, Stingray Steve, listen, that's why college football is the best. You have these fans, they're very passionate, but you have to understand they they can't like hang out forever. They'll come in your life. They'll pass through your life.
Starting point is 01:36:59 But at some point, you know, it's time for them to go along and possibly sue you. I also think that Stingray Steve is a guy that was like, you can't you can't put him in a cage. You know, like Stingray Steve needs to fly free. He can't be known as a part of my take person. He's got he's on to bigger and better things. Yeah. PFT's Gruden Impression is criminally under here. I'm going to say this and then I'll ask the last question as well.
Starting point is 01:37:23 PFT's Gruden Impersonation is criminally underrated. Is it better than Calliano is my question. And then the last question is who makes the new animations of the persons you are interviewing on the PMT logo for each episode, i.e. Danny Vitale, John Kuhn. Tally between Big Cat and PFT on last week's episode. So is my I think my Gruden Impression just from that from that text in is already massively overrated. It's just something that you just you try to do like if Sean McVeigh was drunk and then just added man on the end of everything.
Starting point is 01:37:54 It's pretty easy. Give it a shot. And what was the other question we just say? Shout out Triggs draws. Shout Triggs draws. Also, I mean, good point, bringing up the John Kuhn and the Danny Vitale animation because a lot of people have been asking are we a Packers podcast now? And I think that I think that we are because I mean, we've interviewed their head coach. We've interviewed two legendary fullbacks on the team.
Starting point is 01:38:17 And I don't know if you saw this, but Aaron Rodgers gave a little tip of the cap to us on his way up to Canada. He him and Danny were both wearing the Canada Boys outfits. Coincidence. No, he no. He was saying, what's up to my boys, my main man, Big Cat and PFT. Yeah, three years after that joke was funny and probably like 10 years after that joke was funny. Aaron Rodgers hopped on classic. No, it was a go dude.
Starting point is 01:38:41 You fucking try hard. It was it was hilarious. I love that, Aaron. I'll be watching. I know you'll be listening. Love you, Aaron. No, he won't. No, he won't. I love you. He doesn't even respond to text from his own teammates. Should we talk about that? He doesn't respond to anyone text.
Starting point is 01:38:55 So we're closer that many times in the in the facility. Everyone's like, yeah, Aaron doesn't respond to anyone who wanted to do Packers podcast. Let's go off the record stop. So we're so wait, wait, he responds to us by acknowledging us. So he treats us better than he treats his own family and his teammates. I mean, I think he's probably a bigger fan of part of my take than anybody in Green Bay is of him. And yeah, he's a bigger fan of part of the Packers.
Starting point is 01:39:19 That's true. That's true. That part is true. Yeah, I know. And I want to sink that ship. I'm shorting the stock part in my take. Your number one Green Bay Packers podcast. Love, Aaron. Good. They're going to stink again this year. And Aaron, you're fucking loser. Love you guys, especially Aaron Rodgers.
Starting point is 01:40:00 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, calling me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, calling me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take, call me Take Tell me all this, oh! Take, call me Take, call me Take Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Oh, baby, you start to say Is it a lie, fuck? Just to blame, our war is away You're all the things I've got to remember You're shy away I'll be coming for you anyway Take on me Take on me Take on me Take on me Take on me Take on me No, take on me Take on me now Get a day I Sheng You

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