Pardon My Take - Ice Cube, Jaguars Head Coach Doug Marrone, And Mt Rushmore Of Animal Traits You Wish You Had

Episode Date: July 15, 2019

We are 2.5 weeks from the Hall of Fame game. Wimbledon final was awesome and Djokovic may be the GOAT (open for debate) (2:29 - 12:27). Cleaning up the Chris Paul/Russ Westbrook trade and Who's Back of the Week including blackouts and instagram (12:27 - 29:55). Jaguars Head Coach Doug Marrone joins the show to get you excited for the return of Football, what happened last year, Blake Bortles, Fried Bologna, and how the annual NFL Head Coach picture goes down (29:55 - 62:30). Ice Cube joins the show to talk about the Big 3, His Lakers, and a redemption rap for PFT (62:30 - 99:16). Mt Rushmore of animal traits you wish you had, bad visual for the chess community, and Sabermetrics the Angels no hitter in honor of Tyler Skaggs You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's Pardon My Take, we have a two-fer, two recurring guests that we love, Doug Morone and Ice Cube. We do get into it with Doug Morone about Blake Bortles. We talk Jags, and then with Ice Cube, Big Three, and a little redemption for PFT and his rap.

Last time that Ice Cube was on, I actually thought the first rap went pretty well. I did too. But this one was even better, so Ice Cube is now, I think, best friends with us. We have a little tennis talk, because there was a Wimbledon Championship. We have a Who's Back and Mount Rushmore of animal traits we wish we had. Before we do all that, Pardon My Take is brought to you by the Cash App, the number one finance app in the App Store. The Cash App is the most powerful way to send, spend, and save.

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Do it for the animals, be a lover, download the Cash App today, enter code BARSTULE, get some money, and save some animals. Okay, let's go. Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now, put in code BARSTULE, $5 to yourself, $5 to ASPCA. Today is Monday, July 15th, and we are two and a half weeks away from the Hall of Fame game. I love the Hall of Fame game, and I love betting on it because you really feel like you're

back in the action, and then you realize that you have no idea how to handicap the game. We were looking at the schedule, we've got the Falcons and the Broncos, and when we said it, we were like, what should we talk about to start a show, and we're like, okay, how about the Hall of Fame game in two and a half weeks, Falcons, Broncos, we're like, we fucking hate the Hall of Fame game, and then immediately we started just completely natural, like, well, Drew Locke, and maybe Matt Schaub, pretty good Matt Schaub, so we're ready for it. But yeah, so that's just a little reminder for you that football is very close to being back.

Where should we start? Should we start tennis? Let's start with Wimbledon. Let's start with Wimbledon, or as my dad calls it, Wimbledon. Wimbledon to Wimbledon, Yokevich versus Federer. I'm a Yokevich guy, I became a Yokevich guy on Sunday morning, get joked. If you want to life hack your way into enjoying a sport, just figure out what the goat debate is, and I mean, I obviously have no idea what goes on in tennis.

I was corrected many times. There was even people who were like, like, yeah, Yokevich is the goat. He's got 16 grand slam titles, and he's six years younger than Federer. Someone replied and was like, well, he won a bunch of them when Rafa had his knee thing and Federer was going through his things, and I don't even know what his things are. No, he went through his stuff. But you get in the goat debate, and boom, you're locked in. Yeah, I was actually rooting for Yokevich, too, because the more that you can poke holes

in Federer's resume, the more you can say, Sampris is the goat, and we need the goat to be in America. He is the goat. Sampris is the goat for all-time best body hair, huge chest hair guy, plumes of chest hair. But yeah, Yokevich, Federer, it was great. I don't really know. I don't know tennis.

I know that they have better replay than any other sport in the world, which doesn't make sense. Well, they call it Hawkeye, which is just fucking badass. It's crazy. You feel like they're using a drone. How do they have that? And then we can't get a goal line. Like, we don't know if someone crossed the plane.

Well, the parallax effect. It's crazy. That's the thing about tennis. They don't have the parallax effect to worry about. But yeah, it was awesome. I love just the old Wimbledon tiebreaker format, where it was just keep playing until one of you dies. Forever.

This year, they changed it up, and it was, I was trying to figure out the scoring system, but it's like the fifth set you play until it's 12, 12. The person who invented tennis scoring in the first place was just like a crackhead with a brain injury. 15, 30, 40. And then there's love. Why? So it's first of four in each game.

And then best to six, win by two in each set. And they flip a coin for five. And then in the tiebreaker, it gets to 12. And then it goes to an old fashioned tiebreaker, which I didn't even know what was happening. It's just single to seven. Yeah. I needed Woody Harrelson. It's a penalty kick.

I put a microphone of Woody Harrelson, his drunk ass in the stands today and have him try to explain to me what the scoring system was. So stupid. The scoring system is so stupid. I'm a tennis guy now. And when I say I'm a tennis guy, I mean, like remind me that Wimbledon's happening next year because I'll probably watch one match again. But that's a big, that's a big step for someone who before today, that was the longest I have

sat on the couch and watched one tennis match is about three hours. And I found out I'm a Yokevich. Would you go to the U.S. Open in Yokevich? Fuck no. No, absolutely not. Absolutely not. I'm a tradition guy. I don't like the U.S. Open where their Mickey Mouse uniforms are all wearing like neon stuff.

No thanks. I'm a Wimbledon guy. They got dead at the U.S. Open. The lawn and racket club. It's just pure class out there. They don't have, you know what? They don't have in England. They don't have people dipping their fish and chips into Coca-Cola and then eating them.

That's American stuff. Strawberry and cream. Strawberry and cream. Breakfast at Wimbledon. It's also a Federer, like I don't understand. Why does everyone love Federer? Someone explain that to me. I'll tell you why.

I'll tell you why. No, it was a tall Brady of tennis. Pure class. He's also got two sets of twins, which is, I don't know what's going on with that. When I saw that, I was like, what's going on? Excellent sperm. Yeah. Sperm have teamwork.

Boys and girls are all boys. Boys and girls. Two boys and two girls? Yeah, because I saw it and I was like, why are all those kids, the boys and the girls are dressed alike? And I was like, that's fucking weird. Then I realized they were twins because whoever was doing the post game had an all time burn on them.

It was like, you know, this was an unbelievable run for you. You're 20 grand slams. But now you get to be a dad and he like turned over like, they're your four kids. Have fun. Go change diapers. Yeah, go, go, go do some chores. You've been away from home for a while. The thing about Federer that I think people like is he is better when he loses than he

is when he wins. So when he, when he loses, he's really good at making jokes about like in that like one on one post match interview. He's good at like kidding around and like making fun of himself when he wins. He's just like kind of happy. He's like, oh, I guess I got another, I'm going to have to clear out space in my shed. You could call me the goat if you didn't know Yokovic is fucking nasty and Yokovic has it over him.

Head to head. I know. Oh, the primes don't line up. They don't. Give me a break. Yokovic is the goat. Listen, I'm a Rafa guy. If we're talking modern tennis.

We're talking clay. If we're talking modern tennis, which I don't understand it. I love watching tennis on grass, but why don't they let in the finals? They should let them use cleats. I don't. I don't think that would work. Why? Because it's so fine.

Your boy Joker was slipping slide and all over the place. Right. But that's part of the that's part of the allure when they slide and they can blame the ground. Yeah. Like you have to be able to. You tear up your knees if you had cleats. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, then fuck. Yeah, I would watch tennis. No, that grass is crazy. There were gruesome leg injuries. I. Yeah. So I guess tennis is is like the big thing.

And also it was nice that it spilled all the way into like the afternoon because it it was mad that it was over. Oh, it was a life. It was a hangover like cure. It got all the way to Cubs first pitch. I was like, fuck yes. I don't have to worry about what the hell I'm going to do for these hours that are just wasted on Sunday mornings in July.

Mm hmm. Yeah. So whoever wants to debate me, please come at me. You're over just six years younger. He's going to have the all time grand slams when it's all said and done. Don't tell me about primes and all this bullshit problem with. He's my goat problem with Djokovic is he looks like an accountant. He looks like Nick nurses like daughter's boyfriend that she dumped for being too boring.

That one really deep. Yeah. No, like really. He does not look like an athlete at all. Length, dude. He's got the lens. He's got the length. Big time length.

Yeah. He's from Serbia, right? Yes. Yeah. Let's Serbia have a goat. I don't think I don't feel like a goat. Why not? Why not?

And yeah. And also Joker is a cool nickname. Joker is pretty cool. I had to Google how to spell his name no less than like 700 times, even though it was spelled right in front of me on the thing. But I still it's one of those names. It's like Scheschevsky like coach K, even if you see it and look at it, you still are going to fuck it up.

Doesn't add up. He's like a club DJ that's just named DJ Okovic. Ooh. Member Kenny Main back in the day. Does Wayne Brady have to Yokovic? Oh, that's pretty good. That's a good line that he's had. That's a very good line.

Yeah. Yeah. So I think you're in on the goat. No, no. Listen, I'm not a Joker fan. I was rooting for him today just so that he could bring Samper's back into the discussion. Yes. I like Rafa.

I love him with the Claycourt master, the Gallant master, Middall. I like the back and forth because there were a couple of Wimbledon's that Rafa beat Federer, right? Correct. 2008, dude. Best match ever. Yeah. I didn't watch it, but people told me about that.

No, it was. It's commonly regarded as the best match I've ever seen. There's so many like weird tennis fans that I actually, they were very respectful. It wasn't like a UFC or if you're trying to talk hockey on Twitter, it was, hey, you're wrong, but we're not going to do it in a mean way. If you ever want to go down a really weird rabbit hole is you look up like tennis follies because there are a bunch of tennis players that specialize in these like pro AM games where they're allegedly like very funny while they play and they make jokes.

But the idea of a joke to a tennis player doesn't really line up with what everyone else thinks a joke is, right? So they'll like hit the ball in bounds and then they'll like tell the umpire, no, I hit that out of bounds. Right. And then the crowd will like laugh and then they'll take a bow. Good job. Nailed it.

Good job. Yeah. So we had that Serena lost, which I guess is she still the girl? She's still the girl. Serena is once and always go and I'm just saying this because I am not prepared to deal with any blowback from talking to you about Serena. She scares me more than the Bayhive or the jelly beans or the jelly beans or the Swift boats.

Is that what they call Taylor fans? Yeah. The John Kerry. Swift boat veterans and doesn't doesn't what's her name? Ariana Grande. Doesn't she have a big hive? No. The grandstand.

The grand. The grandies. No. Okay. No, probably not. All right. We also had on Friday, the Takies, if you didn't listen, the Takies were electric and I'm still buzzing off Blake of the Year, but we had the Russ Westbrook, Chris Paul trade

that happened after we taped the Takies. So now that we've had a few days to sleep on it, any change? I actually think both teams won. Have you heard more of us? What about it? Have you heard from them? About CP3? That's just a side.

That's more like a silent like, I feel like he doesn't. Yeah. Yeah. Blake's don't concern themselves with the opinions of Paul. Blake Bortles. Oh, Blake Bortles. Oh, yes. He was heartbroken.

So he was heartbroken. He fucked up. I mean, that was, he was the people's Blake for a very long time, but that's, that, that's no longer the case. Well, I feel like your once and future people's Blake, like he, I'm not ready to write Blake Bortles off just now. He's gotta earn it. He's been counted out before.

I think he'll be just fine come next year. This is probably worse than when he got cut by the Jags. If I'm being totally honest, right? I don't know. Yeah. I think it's up there. It's a good setup for the interview too. It is.

Yeah. Mine is set back. We do talk to Doug Morone about it. But yeah. So the Chris Paul Russ Westbrook trade. I actually think both teams won. Not won a championship, but I think both teams got something like the Rockets finally have good chemistry again.

And the Thunder, I don't even know if they'll keep Chris Paul. If they do actually think they won't be, they'll make the playoffs. They're not going to win anything. Yeah. I think both teams lost. They're not prepared to crown a victor. This is one of those trades where we really do have to wait for like five years to figure out what the Oklahoma City, their GM did, was just hit the big time reset button.

They're going to have a job for life. There's like a seventh grader right now that will be on the Thunder. Yeah. With one of these picks. Yeah. They have like six picks in 2026. Total future, future Sam Presti move. Just the best way to keep your job is trade all your assets for future assets and then

no one can fire you. I'm interested to see though how Westbrook fits in with Harden because I don't know if there's two players can play together. I mean, I say it as a joke because they obviously played in Oklahoma City, but since Chris Paul and James Harden couldn't really play together either, but since since they've gone their separate ways, they've become like even more of what they were when they were in OKC. So now like watching them have to fight over the ball, they might they might actually score points at the same.

They might dunk together both forehands on the ball jamming it in. They should just play shifts like hockey shifts just like each of them plays 20 minutes and then the end they can close together. And I feel like Westbrook is going to get real sick and tired of James Harden doing the little like shoulder lean into people because they're like opposite players when it comes to contact. Westbrook loves to just run in people and dunk Harden likes to just like bump somebody with their shoulder and then fall down on the ground.

I think it's going to I think it's going to work just because and again, I'm not saying they're going to win a championship because they're not, but I think it's going to work just because Russ Westbrook like Kevin Durant left, Paul George left. You then ask for a trade. You don't have much more. You know what I mean? We tried that you're the head of the team. You're getting traded to James Harden's team.

So you have to take it back to eat. I don't know. We'll see. This sucks for Dan Tony, though, like trying to trying to have to figure out how to use these two guys at the same time that he's going to earn his money next year. But using anyone with James Harden is hard. He needs to grow the mustache back. I think commands respect.

All right. What else? You're cooking around. I mean, it's a bleak time in sports. Yeah. I actually have one thing I forgot to talk to you about before when we were putting the rundown on the show together, but I think it's important that we discuss it. OK.

Jacobi Bresset has been on a heater on Twitter recently. He's been asking the existential questions that we we don't know the answers to, such as if the sun is hot, how come outer space is cold? He's just he's tweeting out all these woes. He came up with one. Like, do you wash your cups after you drink water out of them? Yeah, I don't. So is he doing because this is actually a very fast way to like become part of like

viral Twitter is to just ask a bunch of random questions and be like generally genuinely curious. And I'm sure he's got a lot of Twitter followers from it. So do you think he's just doing this or do you think someone's like, hey, Jacobi, let's get your brand out there. Let's get let's just ask questions that like a bunch of people that are super high scrolling Twitter will be confused about. Honestly, I think he just bought like a giant size thing of popsicles from Costco and they all have riddles on them.

And so every time he eats one, he just tweets that out. We should we should actually do that. Just start just start tweeting like Snapple bottle caps. We're just asking questions. Yeah, we're just throwing out facts. The will be percent is what I'm calling facts. All right. So we do who's back and I'll get to our interviews and then we'll have our Mount Rushmore on

the other side. Hank, who's back? My who's back of the week. I have a few. My first one is aliens. Yes. Yep. 400,000 people have signed a petition to storm area 51 just got the internet.

Buzzing. Everyone's talking about it. Everyone's excited to see what's there, see what's going on. I feel like the power outage that had something to do with aliens. Yeah. Just like a gut feeling. Yeah. Do you think that?

I mean, what else? What else would it have been? So transformer. They're not aliens. They're robots in disguise. Too hot. Global warming. Do you think that this is a way for the aliens to round up all the people that think they're

aliens and then kill them all or do you think it's the government being like, let's get rid of all the crazies on Facebook? This is a setup. It honestly sounds like the plot from Independence Day when they're driving into the desert and then Will Smith is like, Hey, I got one of the aliens. Let us in. Right. And then they let Randy Quaid in the whole convoy of RVs.

They should just have somebody. They should have Sam Cassell under a tarp in the back seat of a pickup truck. Be like two in the big ball. Look what we got. Let us in. This is a setup though. Don't you think? So the question is the setup is the setup that the government is trying to get rid of

all the people that are like crazy and do theories online or is the setup that the aliens have set this up and they're trying to eliminate everyone who believes in aliens. So you're thinking that it's like the government started this petition to round up all the believers. Yes. Under the guise of we're going to storm area 51. Right. Yeah.

It's like when Alabama arrest people every year at the Auburn Bama game. Yes. The egg with the iron bowl. They do stings for free tickets to the iron bowl and then they're like, Hey, you haven't paid child support. That's exactly what this is. This is what that is. The aliens.

All the aliens are setting it up to get rid of the people that believe in them. So like the aliens are sitting out there and say, Hey, the block has gotten a little too hot. There's too many people out there who think we exist. Let's get them all here and then blow them all up. Yes. So instead of just like shooting earth with a death ray, they're like, Hey, we'll just start a change.org petition and a Facebook meetup and that's the care of it.

Correct. So something bad is going to happen. We got to go. They're coming. We should actually send someone and videotape it for barstoolgold.barstoolgold.com slash PMT. Go sign up right now. So the U.S. Air Force said the U.S. Air Force always stands ready to protect America and

its assets. So sending out a warning like if you're going to really storm the gates, what if there's assets? Well, that's right. Admitted there was an asset there. Good point, Hank. This is like what if this is the new like Burning Man or Coachella? Yeah.

Just Area 51 part. What if it's just like a huge rager? It's going to be like 98% dudes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Probably like it's going to be Purdue. Probably less than a thousand people show up. Well, and the other thought it could be that the U.S. that's like the fake alien place

because we don't know about the real alien place. Like if everyone knows Area 51, there's no chance there's real aliens there. They would have moved them. They would have moved them. Yeah. It's somewhere else. Just Jacoby Bressett. Okay.

Stay woke. Anything else? Oh, the undertaker is also back. Yes. He fought tonight. Yes. Undertaker gift. Verbal meme.

Coming out of the casket. Live look at the undertaker. Verbal meme. Hand coming through the ground. Did he win? I don't know. Sure. He definitely won.

He doesn't come back till the undertaker. Except for the one time that Hank and I went and saw we broke the streak. Like too short to take the under and look in the sad woman who is sitting in the New Orleans airport the next day with the light up sign. The streak is alive. 30, whatever it was, like 28, no, and he had lost the night before. Speaking of undertaker gifts, how bad are you guys cheated that you weren't the guy? Like, you know, the guy whose eyes got super wide when he lost, like you were at that.

You could have been that guy. We were too far back, but I did have a pretty similar, like it wasn't the eyes, but I had a pretty similar shock when I saw that happen. But yeah, we should get in touch with that guy. I wonder, he's probably, I feel like he came along a little bit too early. Like if that happened today, he would have had a sponsorship party. Oh, we would have known bad things that he's done. He would have gotten milkshake duck real quick.

What's the difference? So Begleboss guy is like the opposite of the whole milkshake duck theory where the internet falls in love with some guy that they saw on TV at the Oscars that they brought in off the street. And then five minutes later, it's like, oh, he's been convicted of sexual assault before. Right. Like with the Begleboss guy, you are immediately famous for being the world's biggest dickhead. Like, what are they?

They go back in your past and found out time that you donated charity. Just reconfirm it. Yeah. Like you are a dickhead. Yeah. Yeah. If they go back and like, hey, this guy has been helping communities for a really long time.

Actually break my heart if the Begleboss guy was like a philanthropist. Yeah. He actually goes to Begleboss every day to see if they have any leftover bagels for like a homeless bank. Homeless people. Yeah. I'm pretty confident that that's not the case. No, that's definitely not the case.

Definitely not the case. All right, PFC. What do you got? My who's back of the week is Grayson Allen. Oh, Grayson Allen's back committing some league, committing flagrant fouls at a rate unprecedented to players not named Grayson Allen. So this is one of those circumstances where it's great to see a player fall back into the old stereotype that you had on him.

I just always say he plays hard. He plays Duke basketball. Sometimes he's just clumsy. His feet, it's hard to keep your feet underneath you like we learned with Traymond Green. Core strength is important. If you don't do enough pushups, you'll probably just kick a bunch of people in the nuts. Well, he was hitting people in the head. Yeah.

He's just got that. He's got bad layer brooms. He's got poor shoulder control. So he's knocking people in the head left and right. I think he fouled out in record time coming after my old record that we always talk about here that everyone knows about that. So yeah. Good to see Grayson Allen back.

I'm waiting for coach K to come out and defend him and be like, he's a good kid. He's just a good kid. No, J Williams will. Yeah. J Williams will definitely come out and say something. My other who's back of the week is Tony Romo. Okay. Tony Romo was back.

He won the American Century Golf Tournament. Oh, yeah. He scored 71 points. The Pro Am or whatever. Yeah. It's the stableford scoring system, which nobody really knows how that works. It's worse than tennis. Almost worse than tennis.

Yeah. He won. This is back to back for Tony. And Charles Barkley. He's just, I don't know how Charles Barkley probably did not finish. They always have odds for him and they're so funny. It's like a million to one. I kind of want it for him to win.

They should let Charles Barkley cheat. If Charles Barkley was allowed to cheat. I still don't think he'd win. He still couldn't win. Yeah. So, yeah, he shot a 71 or he scored 71 points, just really doing everything he can to impress Jim Nance. Did you see that video of Steph Curry not being able to dunk three times in a row at

this Pro Am? Can't relate. Tough look. Can't relate. Tough look. All right. My who's back is Instagram in general because I feel like Summer is all about the Gram and just scrolling through.

It's all about the Gram. Everyone's on Instagram showing how sick their Summer is and how awesome Summer is a movie when reality like they're probably just at the same shitty lake that everyone else is at and they took one awesome Instagram picture. Yeah. That's pretty much it, right? Anyone can look good in a swimsuit with the right filter. Yes.

What's your Instagram handles? Oh, my IG is Henry Lockwood won. Hennie's won? Henry Lockwood won. Henry Lockwood won. Henry Lockwood won. I'm always tagging Hank. Mine's also Henry Lockwood won.

Damn. It's crazy. Come check out our collective Instagram. We're like the McCordy twins. Yes. We share it. We just all share Hank's Instagram. All right.

My other who's back is a Mari Stottemeyer who is trying to make a comeback. He should not make a comeback because we're still on Sam Decker watch. We need Sam Decker to sign first. But he's also challenging people to fights on Instagram, which is also back. Some guy said something about how, oh, it's the lay knicks is the Instagram handle and basically said that he's got weak ass knees and washed up and all this stuff and he was brainwashed because he said he loved playing for the next and it's like, of course you did, dude.

You got paid $100 million to suck. So he slid into the DMs and literally was like, where are you right now? I'll come and meet you. And the guy's like, I live in Seattle and, and he's in a Mari said, keep my name out of your mouth. If you can't, if you can't say it in person and he replied, I will say whatever I post in person. I stand by and I don't think it's unfair criticism and a Mari said, I'll see you soon.

I'll be here. You're in Seattle. I'll be there soon. And they basically set up a meetup point where he's going to go beat this guy in like, he's going to beat him up because he said something mean about him. These fights should always take place in Temecula. Yeah. I don't like the idea of it happening outside that jurisdiction.

If I were that dude, I would absolutely let a Mari Stoddermire fight me. Yes. A lawsuit that would come after that. Hell yes. If he flies to Seattle, it ended with him saying, I live in Seattle, I can meet you at the space needle and a Mari Stoddermire just said, say no more. Let's do it like right underneath. You just got on a flight.

Yeah. I was looking six hour flight to go fight him at the Space Needle. That would be amazing. It would. Yes. Make it a Mari. Ruffin Rowdy. Yeah.

Yeah. Just set up an impromptu ring right outside the space needle. Either way, a Mari Stoddermire, he's back. He's trying. Is he still big into those wine baths? Oh yeah. Just like hanging out in a bunch of wine, which like basically coincided with his knees falling apart, which like he was like, yeah, it's great.

I just bathed in wine and it helps my body. And then he just was never good again. It just took out his ACL. Pika Mari Stoddermire was awesome. Him and Steve Nash together. Dude, don't let him get in the way. The Mari and the Matrix. Little pick and roll.

Dude, what about Joe Watch? Oh yeah. Joe Kim Noah is also maybe coming to the breakers. We're going to try. Probably not. I think we might have just thrown that out there. That's what it looked like though. The Stein reports.

Yeah. It's a little bit of a. Like he's gotten a lot of NBA interest. A lot of people are probably going to try and add him. But maybe. Yeah. Who knows? Wait, what's this about him coming to the breakers?

Mark Stein. Literally was just made up on Saturday. It was a Mark Stein report. Mark Stein reports said that he's in discussion with the breakers. Yes. I mean, yeah, I knew that. Yeah, you knew that. You totally knew that.

So yeah, maybe maybe we'll have him. I don't know. I've extended my offer on Saturday said, hey, Joe, I'm a player's owner. We literally as PFT is showing right now we're players owners. We will stay completely out of your business to the point we don't even know that you might sign with us. I'm I'm hands off to the point of being incompetent. Yes, exactly.

So yeah, absolutely. You know, it would be great to have a player on the team that has worse facial hair than I did. That would be huge. Come on, boy. I don't know about that. It's pretty bad. It's not that bad.

It's it looks like a goat's ass, but it's not that bad. It's pretty bad. All right. Let's do Doug Morone, coach of the Jaguars. We talk a little Blake Bortles. We talk about Bologna. We had Jilly football cooking us fried Bologna sandwiches. Also Doug Morone showed up with basically an entire deli.

He brought. Yeah, an entire bodega from the Bronx. It was like a pepperoni roll, three Bologna sandwiches. And dried sausage, which was delightful. So much, so much, so much sandwiches and meat and everything. All right. Before we do that, and some beers that Hank got drunk off of during the take. Yes, exactly.

Before we do that, New Amsterdam vodka. That's what we should be drinking. New Amsterdam vodka believes that when you have an uncomprising, uncompromising passion and a competitive spirit, you can achieve great things. This spirit has been inspired. New Amsterdam to produce a vodka of superb taste and unparalleled smoothness. New Amsterdam distills this vodka five times, using only the finest quality grains from America's heartland, resulting in a premium vodka with unparalleled smoothness that is

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then jump on the- Oh, I'm a big Europe guy now. I'm making the joke that I was, because you did the first two times, you didn't realize that- No, I knew. The third time you knew, oh shit, I've mentioned this like three times, I better get in front of this. When I was over there, I was like, I'm going to come back and be that guy that's like-

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And you wore your bird dogs. Bird dogs promo code take and free zippers. I just added that to the deal. Free zippers put in promo code take birddogs.com. Okay. Here he is. Jaguar's coach, Doug Morone. Okay, we now welcome on our good friend, recurring guest, is the head coach of the Jacksonville

Jaguars, Doug Morone. He just walked in with, I'd say about a dozen sandwiches from the Bronx. From the Bronx. Pepperoni bread, bologna sandwiches. Hot and mild sausage. Going to a Billy Joel concert. What's better than that? A New York night.

I said, I got, you know, I'm here today on Barstool. Tonight Billy Joel, tomorrow the Yankees, and I'm in a big time New York state of mind. That's a whirlwind tour right there. Yeah, it's a whirlwind New York state tour. Yes, we're also frying up bologna jills over there, man in the grill. So if you can smell it, if you can smell it while you're watching it and listening to it. I'm actually gaining weight right now as I'm sitting here.

And the other thing too, what's funny is when I eat the fried bologna and I start to sweat later on tonight, I'll actually start smelling it again. Like big guys like myself, that's what, that's what, yeah, I'm like, or I could get a little bit. Yeah. A little taste. Yeah. Salt and with the bologna, it feels great.

So we're going to get to football, but let's talk about the Yankees first because your beloved New York Yankees are awesome. Even though they were injured all, all first half of the season, they've been awesome. Are you feeling 28? Are you starting to get your hopes up that this is kind of a complete team? It's interesting because I was, so tomorrow I'm hoping to go there and see, you know, coach, you know, Boone and talk to him a little bit about, you know, last year we went through a ton of injuries.

So, you know, I was listening to, you know, for us as coaches, we kind of do a lot of background and see what's going on. So they've had a lot of injuries, but I've been listening to a lot of these young players of people that they've acquired. And in all these interviews, I keep hearing the same thing is that, you know, hey, when you're part of the Yankees, you're part of out winning championships. And that's what's expected and the culture and things of that nature. So, you know, I'm hoping that we can go into this year, you know, not having injuries,

but being better prepared so I can do a better job, you know, when injuries hit. Because, you know, a lot of people wrote them off and, you know, I'm sure that you use that a little bit, you know, as far as motivation, but you still got to produce and perform and beat, you know, good teams that are out there. And, you know, they've been able to do that. So, you know, I know from a coaching perspective, I admire what they've done the same with the women's soccer team. They played in an exhibition game in Jacksonville and I had met with that coach.

So she was down there and then went and watched them play the exhibition game and it was unbelievable to see them in person. I don't think TV really does any credit, you know, and then, you know, I saw what they're doing down here in New York and having to parade and stuff. So it's been, it's been, you know, you're always trying to learn. There's really no offseason. Mike, would you talk to every level coach? Like, I have a Madden franchise.

Would you talk to me? Would you ask me how I deal with injuries and stuff? I'd turn injuries off. Do you really? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Exactly. But I do think that's an important thing. I think that, you know, just because you have something on your shirt that may say

NFL or MLB or NBA, it doesn't mean that there aren't good coaches at all the other levels. I think there's, I think you can learn so much from, you know, especially like, I always appreciate going and watching youth coaches because they got to talk to these players and teach these players and the words that they use and how they teach them and all the different things are things that, you know, I hope to learn from, you know, that I can do a better job. I don't think it's the emblem or the team or the league that you're in that makes the coach.

It's really how you present things and what you do. My high school coach used to just say, next man up. That was his strategy. So if we had an injury, he'd just get in the locker room and go, hey, we're going next man up today. Yeah. We weren't very good. We weren't, I think.

Did you have a lot of players? We never ran out of players, but we ran out of good players. Like when I started playing, that's when it became an issue. I was not the next man up that should have been the next man. And I think that's something, you know, we have to adjust it. You know, next player, obviously not, might have enough talent, but you have to, I think what, what makes people good coaches is that they're able to maybe cover so, cover ups, maybe some of the things.

So, you know, I'm sure they had probably to do a lot of covering up when you went in. I was, well, they just used me as a scout team fullback and they said, run straight ahead and get your ass kicked. You were fullback? Scout team. Yeah, basically. Which is actually more important than the starting fullback. So, you were probably, you probably started off at like 6'3", then became a fullback

and then now you're down. My spine got compressed. That's what it was. I'm actually, you are tall. Yeah, I'm going to start saying that I'm 6'3". I want to get into something real quick here because we had Sean McVeigh on the show like three months ago, I think, out in Grit Week, and he said that he had some words with you. Really?

He said that he wanted to coach for you at Syracuse and that you took his resume, you put it at the bottom of the pile and he said, no thanks. We had this whole discussion at the head coaches, the league meeting. Yup. So, we had this meeting. So, there's a bunch of us now around the table and, you know, he's like, yeah, you wouldn't even hire me. I'm like, well, let me ask you a question.

Who recommended you? So, he says, well, this coach recommended me. I said, that's absolutely why I didn't hire you. And everyone at the table agreed with me. Okay. Yeah. So, it was a coach there who recommended him that coach that was coached with me at Syracuse and I wanted to, you know, having to make a move, but he's the one that recommended

him. And I think if any other coach would have recommended, you know, Sean, I think he would have had a chance. I said, that's why you got to be careful. And anyone out there was thinking, make sure you know, you know, who's recommending you for the job. And I said, I was always brought up to that if I wanted a job, I would never have anyone else call for me.

I would always call myself. So I would call myself and say, hey, listen, I'm so-and-so, this is what I want to do. I'm looking for a job. And then if there was interest, then I'd give them references. Right. You know, I think, so I was like, Sean, you got to be more, you know, you got to get going when you were younger. But now he is.

So he's great, but I, he's done a great job and I don't hold against him, but he, he tried, he, he bust my, my chops. Yeah. I've always put it like those types of coach meetings, I just assume that it's everybody in a room together, just busting each other's balls, just making fun of each other. When I'm around, that's, I mean, that's how I, that's how I am. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

You know, myself and, you know, Bill O'Brien and Rable, even though we're in the same division, you know, we'll sit around and we'll, we'll bust each other's chops pretty good. And then, but it never gets to, you know, we never talk about our players or the, or the teams. We just talk about, like, you know, I'll look at someone else and be like, you know, oh, my God, look at that bathing suit. God, I can't, you know, Sean now, Sean, Sean's a great dresser, right?

Yeah. Look at me. Yeah. I mean, you're probably the best, the best you're going to see right now. People say that the, that the NFC West is the hottest division in terms of coaches. I think it's actually your division. You got, you got you, you got Rable, you got O'Brien and Rable represents us because, you know, he's left and still working out, work with the players.

Today. What? You see Mike Rable's quote today? What did he say? He said he would cut his penis off for a Super Bowl. Straight up said that. Well, let me ask you, would you, you're dumbfounded. He actually said that.

He said he's, he's been married for 20 years. So he doesn't need it. Would you cut my, I was thinking the same thing. I swear, when he first said it, I'm thinking, all right, I have, I have three children. I love my wife would probably be happy. If I did that. He's one of them. I think he bet.

Yeah. That's what I'm saying. My wife would be like, yeah. Yeah. Cut that shit off. We got a Super Bowl. I mean, you can just say that you would cut Mike Rable's penis off for a Super Bowl. No, no, no.

I'm not going there. I'm not going there. All right. So I have a question. There's going to be a very weird question, but you mentioned the coaches meeting. Meetings. I am obsessed with the coaches picture that you guys take annually. Excuse me guys.

Just. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. I love it. Talk me through the coaches meet picture when you guys all get out there and they face you into the sun and everyone looks a little disheveled. Some guys looking good.

Some guys not looking so good. How does that all go down? And do you guys realize how ridiculous it is every year? Yeah, I don't like, I don't like when, when you're a rookie head coach, you know, you go in there and you have an itinerary and they're like, okay, you have, you have this picture and you're like, my first thought was, why are we taking this picture? And then it was like me to blog it pretty much. Yeah.

Well, first of all, I didn't know it even would go out to anyone. Oh, yeah. I had no idea that. Oh, yeah. So like my first year, I'm like, well, you know, and then they sent me a picture and I'm like, well, I got a picture. What's this for? To prove that, you know, that I coach in the NFL and yes, you know, then it was like,

you know, well, shit, if I get my picture taken, whom am I going to sit next to? Oh, yeah. I mean, so I did a little, you know, then it's like, so basically whoever you're walking with from the meeting this year, you know what I'm saying to that is important. But also then what happens, I start thinking, well, shit, if I'm, okay, if if I'm in the back and I'm next to like, I think I was next to coach Harbaugh and I'm like, damn, you know, he looks good. I mean, he's in good shape.

You know, I'm like, you know, I think you start thinking, okay, wait, I got to put a striped shirt on. Oh, no, this year. Yeah. Okay. You know, I got to put a striped shirt on it. Okay. I got to do whatever I can to make myself look skinnier.

I got to do whatever I can to make sure I'm not like Richard Nixon and sweating my ass off, you know, and I got pits showing and everything. So then I'm like, if I sit down, I think I can cover my gut better. So strategically, I go in there. When I break that meeting and I'm on my way over there, then I start thinking, okay, I got to get this thing right. But then you're right. You stand in front of, you know, you're standing in the sun and you hit it.

But I never thought it went out. So, and then afterwards, like my assistant will come in and go, oh, here's your head coaching pitcher. Yeah. Oh, okay. That's great. I'm going to file it right over there. Yeah.

So this is where that works. I was on the end. The end. More leg room. All right. So this is what I wrote about you. The everyone's dad on graduation day award goes to Doug Morone. He's hot.

He's sweaty. He forgot his sunglasses. So he's constantly squinting and his handshake will break his daughter's boyfriend's forearm. That's Doug Morone. These are the nicest clothes he owns. And while he's happy to be here to see his little sweetheart on graduation day, he really just wants to be back home in his recliner with a bag of lays and some homemade onion dip.

Do you think I nailed that? I think you nailed it. Yeah. Doug definitely showed up 45 minutes early. So you get a good seat, aka the one on the end where he has the most space. There it is. No doubt. There it is.

I put a lot into it. Yes. I do. Yes. I love that picture. Everything says right. I love that picture. My daughter is now going to be a senior.

My other daughter is going to be a freshman. And have you shook her their boyfriend's hands? So at the one time, there was one guy. Okay. So the first guy. And my friend John was here. The first guy. He taught me a lot too because his daughter's older and she's graduated now in college.

So I'm like, hey, how do you handle this stuff because, you know, it's just hard because, you know, I want to make sure he understands, you know, that this is my daughter, you know, and then I didn't know what to say. So I just told him, I said, look, if you mistreat my daughter, I promise you, I will do everything in my power to ruin your life. That's good. You know, because I was trying to watch my word. That's fair.

You know, you're the head coach, you know, you got to be careful. Yeah. And I'm like, I don't know what to say. So I always try to make sure I'm, you know, I'm like, and I don't smile, which I don't normally do anyway, but I don't smile and I don't really talk to them. And then when they try to strike conversation, I'm just, I look at them like they're, why are you talking? Yeah, don't do everything.

Everything you said we already knew. You treat them like you just said. Yeah. But I think all of us that are, that are dads are like that, you know what I'm saying? As a dad myself now, man, I'll just go say dad to dad. I see what you're saying. I just wanted to say that we need to get this out in the open before this conversation gets a little bit too deep.

You guys, I'll say this. You know why you guys are good? Because we saw. We saw. We feed you below. Hey, Doug, how do you think the Yankees are doing? Yeah. How about those Yankees?

And then all of a sudden it's like, wait, here comes the trap. Listen, here comes the trap. Oh, yeah. You ever hear about gotcha journalism? Yeah. This is gotcha journalism. We're best friends of Blake Bortles. Yeah.

I love Blake. Okay. So are you? Good start. I was just with him out of wedding. Okay. Because anybody that mistreats Blake, we take that as a mistreatment of ourselves. But you should feel good about that knowing that we, like you, we're good friends with

you. So if anybody mistreats you. Testament to us. As mature adults. Yes. As mature adults and not pick sides. Yes. We're loyal.

But I just want to make sure things are okay between us. I brought gifts. Yeah, you did. You buttered us up. Right. I brought gifts. But yeah. I mean, you know, it's always tough and you're pulling for someone, especially someone

like Blake. His toughness is, I mean, it's, it's, it's the greatest trade he has. It really is. And, you know, I probably could have done a better job and I've told that to Blake. So we had, we had good discussions. We had a discussion when he left and I saw him the other day and it's, you know, I have a ton of respect for him. Just it's the business aspect of it, which is tough.

I wish him the best. I think that, you know, he'll do well. I really do. I think he'll play in his league for a long time. I think he'll get another opportunity. I think he'll take advantage of it. And so I feel it. And it's, it's, it's not like, um, with a lot of these players, when, when those things

happen, the business part of it, you don't, you never, it always hurts that I always look back and say, I wish I could have done something better or I wish I could have had better players around them or I wish I could have done this or, you know, call this or did that. The only time that you really sit there and you're like, Hey, listen, I'm glad that this guy's gone is when the guy's a bad guy and bad, a bad teammate where he's not a team guy. The rest of them, whether they're good enough or not, that, that's what hurts guys that

give you everything they have, they give you great effort. They show toughness and, you know, but at the end of the day, you know, you're trying to change, you're trying to do a lot, uh, to get different results and, you know, it's part of it because it just goes, it's like, like anything else. If, if, you know, if you don't win, then, you know, you know, who's next? Well, you know, I'm next, you know, so I'll be the guy to go and, and that's how it is. So it's the reality of the profession, but I try to take the, you know, you know, is a personal, yeah, it gets personal because, you know, you're dealing with families and

things of that nature. And, and, and that's what's, uh, you know, that's, that's what's difficult. That, that's what, you know, you take a step back and you're like, my responsibility towards the organization, you know, my responsibility for the people I've hired, my responsibility as a coach. And, you know, that, that, that's the stuff at the end of the day that people don't see, you know, that, that weighs on. I can't speak for everyone, but, you know, for me, that, that weighs on me a lot.

So Blake told us that he is friends with Cody Kessler. So he, we respect his wishes to not bash Cody Kessler, but this would be the portion of the podcast that I would say, coach, how the hell did you start Cody Kessler over Blake Bortles? But I'm not going to say that. So I'm not going to say that. I just wanted to say that, that I'm not going to say that. Um, thanks for saying, thanks for not saying, yes, exactly.

Uh, so you just touched on something. But it's the same, it's the same thing. It's like, you know, it's, it's like, you'll see, you know, the quarterback, it's, I always said the same thing. And we've heard it's a cliche, you know, they get too much of the credit and they get too much of the blame. And a lot of times when, you know, you're looking to shake things up, you're looking to do things, you know, you know, that's, that's the position that, that comes to it.

And you know, when you're looking to shake a team up and you're looking to do things, sometimes it's the head coach. I mean, so, yeah, I wanted to ask you about that because it could be, it could be me. And it's not like, Hey, it's him before me. It's not, you know, you're literally trying to do things to, to see, you know, to get the spark to, to get the people around to play better or whatever we want to say around them and have to do it. But, you know, it also puts a lot of other people on warning saying, Hey, listen, if

you don't respond, if we can do this to this guy, who's a, who's a great, in my opinion, who's a great guy, who's the toughest shit, you know, that's one football game for us in the past, you know, but if, if, if we're going to do that to him, we can do it to everybody else, you know, and then obviously it exposes me. Yes. So you, you mentioned that and I'm always curious about this because in like the football media world, we love to do the like, who's on the hot seat going into the season before we even play a game.

Do you see that stuff? Do you, I mean, you're not, you're aware of what's going on, but I've learned this along like, so now this is whatever, going into my, my four years of Syracuse, two in Buffalo, going into my third year here. So it's, it's, it's, you learn as you go across. So like a lot of times early on, someone will say, Oh yeah, hey, do you see that article? There's a good article about you and, and, and, and you're young, you're like, Oh shit, who doesn't like read something good about.

So you look at it and you're like, Oh yeah. But then all of a sudden you scroll down, I would say, don't scroll down. Yeah. You know, then you scroll down and you're like, you know, that guy's an ass. That guy's a jerk. This guy's a section. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

And then all of a sudden I start getting pissed. Yeah. But you, now all of a sudden the decisions start going on. So I learned a long time ago not, you know, to look at that, but I always tell people the same thing, especially this is the most volatile business you can be in really coaching. If you win, sometimes you can be safe. There are coaches that have won games that, that have been fired. Coaches that have been to the playoffs that have been fired.

Marty Schaudenheimer. Marty, uh, Mike Malarkey, Tennessee and Mike and I are good friends. I mean, you know, um, but I, I approach it this way. I'm trying, I'm, I'm fighting to keep my job every single day. So every time I go into work, I'm trying to prove that I'm worthy of a job, you know, and every time we're playing a game, I'm trying to prove that I'm worthy. And at the end of the day, I'm doing the best job I can. And if it's not good enough, then they're going to let me go and bring somebody else

in. No hard feelings towards ownership, no hard feelings towards management. That's just the way it is. So, you know, I think when you accept those things and you go about your business, because the worst thing you can do is start worrying or start making decisions or things that are out of control, uh, or start responding to the media or you get upset. I mean, you know, if you start off and you're not doing well and someone's like, well, they should fire this guy.

Yeah. And if you don't expect someone to say that, then you're probably in the wrong profession. Right. You know, if you play shitty and someone's like, you know, this guy, this people, this guy stinks, they can't play. He's a terrible coach. Of course they're going to say that, you know, so that's just, that's just the business. And that's the business that I always tell us that, you know, the coaches and everyone

else that we've chosen. So if you can't live with that and you can't live in that type of world, then don't choose coaching. Great football guy answer. Great football guy answer. That's why you're a football guy. It is. Exactly.

Yeah. I was like, holy shit. Does he know something? That just happened? So Josh on last year and this year were sevens. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have to pick a player named Josh Allen at seven?

I think when you say, do you have to pick a player like Josh Allen? No, I have to pick Josh Allen. Josh Allen at seven. Yeah. Josh Allen. Yeah. I rephrased you. Yeah.

I don't. That's stuff you guys know. Yeah. Yeah. I don't. That's stuff you guys know about. I don't look at that. We care too much.

We do care about that stuff. I was like, hey, did you guys think he was going to fall to you or whatever? Yeah. That was nice. I lost that. Were you surprised? Yeah. I think Coach Gofflin, Dave Carvella, GM, the Scouts, they do a good job.

We come in late and that's the one thing. So we as coaches come in late in the evaluation period because you think they're very started on next year's draft and they're starting and we're getting ready to play the season. And then you go through all these different scenarios, like, okay, you go through whoever players you like and if these guys drop, would you take them? Yes, we take them. If not, we're doing this. So there's a lot of discussion and I always say the same thing, like I'll bust a little

bit of chops when there's just a couple of Scouts to be like, yeah, hey, we got a couple of days before we make this decision. It's not like the 42nd clock where we got to make a decision every, you know, but I've rep-respawned that ball and you got to go. Right. They just come and it's like, ooh, man, we got, we got what an hour and a half before the, you know, but I think it is, they do a good job. They work hard.

They try to get all the scenarios. And, you know, a lot of times it's interesting how those, when you look at the boards and I've been at, let's see, three different, three, three different organizations, yeah, three different organizations where, you know, it's amazing how they all come off that board and it's pretty much the same, you know, as far as how it's getting drafted and going. So, you know, I think obviously they do a good job and I still think it's, I still think it's a tough, it's tough to pick someone and project them, you know, saying in the NFL, when I was a college coach, you know, we would do that, but it was kind of fun.

We can move people. That's why I always like, so when I was at Syracuse, we'd always say, hey, listen, I'll take as many running backs. I'll sign five or six running backs. Right. I can make, if they're small, I can make them receivers. If they're big, I can make them linebackers, you know, saying I can move these guys around. I can take, you know, big corners, make them safeties, big safeties, make them linebackers,

you know, big middle linebackers, make them the down linemen, outside, you know, pass rushes, inside linemen, on and on and on. And you know, you can do that and you can get great exposure, but at the NFL, the time is so short. Right. To do that, that when you take someone, you got to project what they're going to do for you right away and that player still has to get out there and perform. It's almost a detriment if you draft a guy who you don't fully know where he's going

to fit in the NFL. Yeah. And you're like the in-betweener of two players. Like when you say, hey, listen, this guy's a great athlete. Let's find a spot for him. Right. It's a safety, but a cornerback, maybe not. Who knows.

Yeah. And those guys usually get washed out. Safety linebackers, the one that you see a lot, like the Cibro peppers, you know, you can project them to be like a, they always say Troy Palamallo, but that, yeah, if you happen upon a Troy Palamallo in the draft, you take him every single time because he's obviously a legend of the game. But I've always wondered why those kind of undersized linebackers, big safeties don't translate to the NFL.

Yeah. Like, so when I was coming out in the 80s, you know, and you always think of, you know, I think of, you know, I used to watch on TV like Mel Blunt, I mean, from Pittsburgh and you watched the guys from Denver that played safeties at water and those guys are big, big hitters and, you know, big time players. And I think, you know, from a covered standpoint with the man to man, things have started to change. So, you know, from a covered standpoint, the, the, the offenses have changed.

So it's become more spread. It's almost, you know, it's become more three receiver sets, things of that nature. You have much more, you know, vertical routes going and you still have to, you know, obviously you have enough guys in the box from the run game. So, you know, you're seeing now, like, you know, when I was in the AFC East and we're playing teams there and I was in Buffalo, you know, it was important for us to make sure that all of our linebackers were, you know, we wanted to struggle with our decision of which guy we're taking off the field and nickel.

We wanted all our three linebackers that man to man coverage ability. We wanted our safeties that man to man coverage ability, you know, to match up against the teams we needed to an AFC East to win. So, you know, we took a guy like Aaron Williams, who's a corner and moved them to safety, but he had corner type ability, you know, for us that can play man to man. So, you know, we looked to that and I think, I think progressively that you see that, you know, not on every team, but you see that with, you know, the four, three teams, the three, four teams.

Sometimes, you know, they have the two inside linebackers and the two outside linebackers. Those outside linebackers convert the pass rushes as they go. So, but you're seeing a little bit of diversity in the play, but you're seeing more of, you know, a greater value put on players that are three down players that can play man to man, play zone, pressure, do those things and keep other teams off balance. And if you're not like that and you're just a really dominant player, then it doesn't matter. Yeah.

Okay. This guy's going on the field and he's, we're pressuring him. He's coming. Right. Okay. Fine. Okay. You still got to block him.

You know, you still got to win. Even though you know someone's coming, you know what they're doing, you still got to be able to go out there and perform. And you're seeing that with these player evaluations, things like that. Has he showed any signs of slowing down? No, no. Him. And like I said, you know, between him, he does, you know, obviously he's looking at

it. He's, he's above myself and Dave, you know, he's above both the football side and the scouting side. So he's looking at everything from both those perspectives, but you know, Dave Caldwell does a great job, you know, saying, looking at, you know, those players along with the Scouts and the pro department. So it's, you know, the coaching staff you have and we're, we're, we're our primary job is to make sure that we prepare the players that we have.

Don't worry about all the other stuff. We'll write reports and we'll, we'll have us, you know, a saying and we appreciate that as coaches, but our job is to play us that we have to develop them to make them players. That's where I think that's the difference in, in, in coaching. I think a lot of guys can go and look at a book, find the words, go out there on the field, coach the players through the book or the PowerPoint presentations, but the job of the coaches to take, you know, I always think the definition of a coach is to take a player where it can't take himself.

That to me, that's the definition of a coach. So I always, when I was a position coach, I wanted to get the most out of these players and get more value out of them for the organization, but I also wanted to get them to be the best they can be and, and just keep hammering them, hammering them, hammering them and taking them, you know, to the next level. I was fortunate, you know, at the Jets, Kevin Wise going into the Hall of Fame this year, who, you know, I've had to work our schedule a little bit. I won't be able to go up there for the enshrinement ceremony, but I'll go up there for the gold

jacket dinner. He invited me up there, which is important. Curtis is up there. And then, you know, I've had a bunch of guys that were with me in New Orleans, often it's a line, and that, you know, may come up next, you know, for that. And like I said, I've coached all those players the same. It's not like you coach one player differently, meaning that, hey, I'm going to coach you to be a Pro Bowl player.

I'm going to coach you to be a starter. Hey, I'm going to coach you to get cut. Right. You coach them all the same and that talent go. But, you know, again, you're trying to, since it's a salary cap system, there's some positions that you have to develop, you know, how many linemen are you going to spend money on? Three out of five, you know, but if you're spending three out of five, where you're going to put the money into, well, these other guys, you better develop, you know, your number one

wide receiver, well, you better develop some receivers, you know, now, can you develop a pass rusher? That's tough. Can you develop a cover corner? That's tough. Can you develop a quarterback? That's tough. I just want to see that those guys, when it comes down to the draft, they're going to

go up and get those guys that can perform at that position. Yeah. Do you think that Tom Coughlin knows what a podcast is? Oh, I don't know. I can't speak for him. I don't know. We want to get, we want to get him on part of my take, eventually, but I don't have that or Dan Edwards or whatever, whatever handles that.

Yeah. All right. I got one last question. Seeky question. Put in promo code take you get $10 off, go to a Jaguars game this year, $10 off. Big bounce back here for the Jaguars. All right. Football guy to football guy.

How excited are you for the start of training camp? That first day, do you get like chills still down your spine when you're just like, here we go, football is back, the grass, the sprinklers are going, you see the helmets out there. How good does that feel? Yeah, you can keep chewing. He's chewing. We're eating baloney. He's chewing.

We're eating baloney. Keep chewing. My favorite part. My favorite part. When it sticks up there, that's when you know the bread is fresh. Thank you so much. The American cheese also helps it stick a little bit too. It sticks right up there.

You know, I think, so here's what happens, all right. Everyone at the end of the year, you're working to get all the schedules done, meaning for you know, training camp. So you're working like hell. So you can kind of get, take a little break and kind of get away from it. So then the first couple of days after the mandatory manning camp, you know, once everything is set, so you're set for training camp. So we have our schedule set from now all the way to the end of the season and hopefully

into, you know, the playoffs and the Super Bowl run. So that schedule is all set up every single day. Like if you say, hey, Doug, what are you doing on November 28th or December 18th at four o'clock? I could probably tell you. Right. I looked at my schedule. So a lot of planning goes into that.

So then the first seven to eight days that you're off, then you're kind of acclimating back into your family. So you get into the house and it's like, you know, hey, wait a minute, you haven't lived here for the past couple of months. No, no, why are you putting a spoon there? No, that doesn't go there. So you're like, now there's a lot of tension, a lot of stress, different type of stress, a lot of stress.

Right. But then after that, when you settle in those next seven or eight days, best days ever kind of in the flow. You're with the family. Nothing's going on. It's kind of a dead period because a lot of people take vacations the first week of July and the second week after the fourth, right? So those two weeks are probably the best two weeks.

Nothing's going on. Relax. Then after that, you're like, oh, shit, here it comes. You start hearing, you know, you're in the car. Yep. You know, guys come back from vacation. 18 days away, yeah. They start predicting, but it's a net.

Then you come in there and hey, what's going to happen here? What's going on there? And then all of a sudden, I don't know the first day. I like to get rolling first because the first couple of days you got to kind of get physicals out of the way, conditioning out of the way, all kinds of, you know, league rules and stuff like that. They've got to talk to the team about, you know, and then once all that stuff goes and we kind of get into it, like a rhythm, you know what I'm saying, or a system or what

we want to do. That's when I feel it's going. And, but I was like, because I always try to get up there and, you know, you know, our first practice, I try to play like the boys of fall by Chesney, you know what I'm saying? And that's, that's when I get really, I get a good vibe. I like that. You start hearing the grit. You start hearing the pads collide a little bit.

Close your eyes. The whistles. Yeah. I mean, that's kind of nice, right? Just thinking about that. I think like the song says it all. I mean, you know, the smell of the grass, you know, which, you know, it's funny. So the other day, I was back in Jacksonville, I'm driving by and I'm going by the state.

I'm like, holy shit, the grass. So I'm trying to figure this out. I got to talk to my grounds guys because they're awesome. But so they've been watering and seeding this grass for like months, right? I mean, no one goes on the game field. It's, it's, it's perfect. I mean, really, it's beautiful, you know, and then all of a sudden, I guess, you know, so we have the stones coming in on the 18th, I think of July.

So I think they ripped up the grass. I'm like, well, shit, I got to ask them, why, why would they seed in it and cutting it and doing all that shit and just to rip it up? Just I don't know if they put it somewhere and they're going to put it back in or not. But maybe this game breaks out. I do love like that's that smell of grass, you know, saying, you know, what's going on out there. And like I always said before, like people always say water doesn't have a taste to it.

I always tell people they've never gone through double sessions. Well, we don't go through it now, but truly double sessions in the heat because I'll never forget when I was in Miami, we were going through double sessions with Coachula. That was the best damn taste in water I've ever had in my life. Did you guys have the water horse where it would be, you know, nine holes punctured in that one? That was in college. In college, we had it.

We had it. We had it against the fence. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And you're looking over there and you see it going because in college, they would actually blow a whistle and then you'd have water where like, you know, you look back in the past and you're like, holy cow, you know, now we have water available all the time. Hydration is such a key for a soft tissue and all the other stuff.

So water is available all the time. Like I think about when I was growing up, I'm like, you know, we, you know, you know, this is bullshit. You guys aren't doing it. You're not. No water break today. Get your asses out there. I'm like, you go out there and play.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Now you, if you did that, forget about it. Yeah. All right. I have one last question. Baloney sandwiches. Do you prefer the standard bread like this or do you like the foot long, the Nick Fool's

style? I think when I, when I go, when I go out, in other words, if I'm going to order it and I'm going to be on a bus or a plane, I'm going to go with that bread. Okay. Okay. And I'm going to do a more journal week at the end of the week. I don't do that because, you know, Sunday growing up was, you know, obviously macaroni and gravy, you know, so yeah.

So we always had always had a fresh Italian bread sauce and then I'll get the Italian bread, but then, but there's nothing like, like I said, when, when it sticks to the top of your mouth, the bread, that's when you know it's good ass bread. Right. And for me, you know, that, that was, that, that was always important. So I go with that when I'm out and I go with this because I never trust other people. Like, you know, some people are really good at picking vegetables and feeling them and stuff like that.

Yeah. I'm okay with that. But what I'm good at, the damn bread. Yeah. I can touch that bread and feel that bread and be like, wait a minute, I'm like, no, I'm taking this one right here. You know what you do with the stale one, you just break it up, you turn into stuffing. No, no, no, no.

Listen, slimy bologna, you fry. Yep. Right. So when the bologna gets slimy, stale bread, French toast. Oh yeah. That's a good point. Right. How many times are you going to eat stuffing?

Yeah. You're the greenest coach out there. Yeah. I don't know about greenest. I'm just saying when you don't have much, you know, you use every part of the buffalo. No, I'm saying, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I got to like, for me, everyone's like, I always love to cook because, you know, both my parents worked. So I would, you know, I come home and stuff and I'd be like, oh shit, well, okay, wait a minute. There's the macaroni cheese. I get that. Wait a minute. There's some hot dogs.

Let me cut those hot dogs up. Wait a minute. There's some lentil beans. I like lentils. Lentils cut hot dogs in a lentil. So I do that stuff all the time. Yeah. All right, coach.

Thank you so much. Appreciate it. Appreciate it. Yeah. Best of luck this year. Enjoy Billy Joel tonight too. Yeah. Enjoy Billy Joel.

Billy Joel tonight. Yeah. I know. Appreciate the sandwiches. Always love coming by. You guys got to come down though. Yeah. That interview with Doug Morone was brought to you by Zip Recruiter.

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Yay, yay. Ice Cube. Yay, yay. He's back. He was cracking. You don't remember us. I do. I remember that long ago.

Okay, there's going to be a point in this interview where you will remember us because we're going to bring up something that happened the last time. All right. But we are happy to have you back. The big three. Yes. Season, what is season three? Season three is often running.

Yes. You guys have been blowing up. I feel like this is the like the first two seasons were a success, but this is the season where everyone's looking at it like, whoa, this is really a great thing. And they're getting big time names. Good. You know, that's where we want to be. You know, we want to be in, you know, in, in the, in the lexicon, so to speak, of sports.

So, so how has it worked getting those bigger names, guys recruiting each other? You had, you know, Cotino Moby, which I love his, his beard. Yes. You're like, that's an old guy, but I love it. Joe Johnson is playing. Yes. Glenn Davis. How are you getting bigger and bigger guys as you, as you progress?

They want to hoop. You know, it's simple, you know, guys, you know, first year we knew guys would sit and watch the second year. Guys wanted to play, but it was too late because we was already in it. And guys was like, well, I want to play. I'm going to come up there next week. And we're like, dude, it ain't, it ain't a celebrity game. Right.

It's a league. You got to sign up. Yeah. You got to sign up. You got to get picked. You got to get a contract. You can't just say, you can't just pop up. Right.

It's pretty great the way that you guys have done it because I think the first season, there were a lot of highlights that made it out there. And not only did it get the attention of some players that might want to play once they're done in the NBA or make the switch, I think just everybody started talking about in general. Yeah. I noticed you, were you on get up this morning? Yeah. I was on get up.

How is my man Greeny doing? He's like my best friend. We've never met, but he's like my best friend. He was on vacation. Yeah. Yeah. He actually wasn't there today. That's disappointing.

But it's, you know, it's been good, you know, trying to, you know, get the sport in the right place, pushing it, you know, having the, the, the players buy in. We had a lot of players come, you know, NBA players come out to the games and they want to be a part of it. So we had to expand the 12 teams, played two nights a week. I like it. What's your official title with the league founder, founder? I like it.

Now, do you, do you call the, are there team owners or governors? No. So how are the team? How, how is each individual team run then? They ran by the players. I like that. So the coach, the captain is the head of the team, but he has two co-captains and a coach and between them, you know, to get the things ran and, you know, it's serious.

As you take it, is as serious as you go in the league. You know, if you take it dead serious, you might want to champion. As the founder, how much do you listen, especially after that first season to feedback from fans like what's working, what's not, did you make any changes? Oh yeah. You know, listening to the fans is, is very critical. You know, I don't want to know what the fans like about the league. You know what I mean?

What the fans think can be improved so we can analyze it and figure it out and get the people what they want. Okay. So here's one that I want to be improved. I want Lamar Odom to stay in the league. Well, I do too. Okay. You know, but he has to be able to play at this level.

Like I said, it's not a celebrity game. Guys are going hard. Guys are training. Guys are in shape. Guys are ready to play at this level. So he has to be ready. So, you know, this year we felt that he wasn't ready to play and that doesn't mean he can't come out next year and go for it.

You know, whether he wants to or not, that's on him, but I wanted him in the league. He wouldn't be in if we didn't want him. What about fighting? I've seen a couple of clips this year where guys have been drawing back and forth. Are you cool with it? Do you want that to happen? Or do you think that's bad? I don't want to fight.

Oh, I do though. As a fan. No, no, no. We're doing the fan open forum here. No, no, no. No fights. Trash talking. You know, all that is good, you know, smack talking, you know, you might get in each other

face a little now and then, you know, no fighting, but you but you guys should you guys should allow fighting so that everyone always complains that the NBA has gotten soft and the fights aren't real fights. And it's not like, you know, the 80s and early 90s when teams would actually fight. You should go back to that. I mean, do you come to a basketball game to see a fight? It wouldn't be bad. It would happen.

I'd be a bonus. Yeah, bonus. If it happens, it's going to happen just out of natural, you know, emotion. I mean, we're not going to encourage fighting or allow fighting. And if you fight on my court, it's going to be a price to pay consequences for consequences and repercussions. As a fan, I would like to see kind of like an augmentation to the and one rule where if you cross somebody up so bad that they fall down and then you hit the shot in their

eye. That's an extra point right there. Oh, damn. Yeah, that would be nice. I would thought that in the suggestion box. What about if we had a coffin on the other end of the court? So if you get crossed up so bad, you have to go lay in the car for three minutes, like a penalty box.

I like that. That'd be good, you know, because everyone always does the skull and the skull emoji on Twitter and being like, oh, my God, he's dead. He took his soul. Let's really take it. And then when they get out of the coffin, they're doing the Undertaker GIF where they pop up. Not dead yet.

Now you're back. I'm back in the game. Oh, wow. Think about it. So on your team, on your board of governors or whatever you call it? Sure. Sure. Why not?

OK. How much? What's the pay? Nothing. Who's who's the wode for the big three? Who's out there breaking all the news for you guys? Um, man, we got a guy named Oliver, uh, I don't know, but yeah, he's been like a day one diehard, you know, always kind of want to know what's the scoop and he puts it out

on the internet. So it's, it's kind of cool. I've got a dog that breaks news. If you're looking for like a woge that's really going to be like the guy that breaks news for the big three, my dog Leroy, he's an insider in a number of sports. You've probably already heard him. Oh yeah. Probably very familiar with him.

Um, he'll be happy to break any news that you guys have. OK. Let me see a reel on him. You got one? A reel on Leroy. We could probably bring up a real on. Can somebody bring up when you got that piece of bread stuck on his back? That's pretty impressive.

Um, so I want to talk about the Lakers. Yes. Are you going to be a Clippers fan now? Well, he is a Clippers fan. You never clipped. No, he's not. No, no. Marcellus Wiley told me that you were a Clippers fan.

Marcellus Wiley is an alcoholic and he's, he's a heroin addict. No. No, I'm not. I'm not. Yeah. I'm not. I will never be a Dippers fan. OK.

Matter of fact, they better watch. Oh, shit. So were you mad that Kawhi didn't pick the Lakers? Because that was, I've said this before, but, you know, when you have the little brother, big brother relationship. I wasn't mad. I felt sorry for him. Oh, I felt sorry for doing that.

Even though you guys, the Lakers have not made the playoffs in forever. You're like that. I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry. Yeah. I mean, I feel sorry for them. So what is making the playoffs do if you don't win the chip? Well, the Lakers have been a joke recently. Nobody's laughing now, though.

OK. I always say, laugh now, cry later. Are you going to? Are you a are you a full on LeBron guy? Are you still like Kobe's better? Well, what do you mean by full on LeBron guy? Well, I think it's been interesting to watch Laker fans. I think LeBron has come in as slightly a mercenary and you can correct me if I'm wrong, where he's obviously

a Laker, you're rooting for him. He's an all time great, but he's not a Laker Laker. He's not a magic. He's not a Kobe. He's not a guy who might have been there. He wins the chip. OK, he's got to earn his. You got to win the chip and then he'll be love like all the Lakers that win it. OK, love.

I mean, Kobe played 20 years for the Lakers. So nobody's going to come in there and disrupt that groove. Not even Magic or Kareem. Kobe got his own lane. Magic got his own lane. Kareem got his own lane. You can't can't bump them off of what they've done. So LeBron, a championship would get him the love and respect

from Laker fans that that, you know, all our champions get. Do you do you talk to LeBron? No, not a lot. Not a lot. Has he asked me, you know, when I see him when we doing something together, I did his show. Then I talked to him. But am I calling him and asking him about stuff? And, you know, is he in my business?

Am I in his business? No. Who do you think is the alpha on that team right now? Is it LeBron's team or is it AD's team? I think it's LeBron's team. I mean, he's the veteran and he got he has the championship. So AD is going to have to learn how to how to do that. Have you ever been asked by anyone in the Lakers to go to like one of their pitches for free agents? No.

You think would you know if if if Magic called you up was like, hey, we could really use some celebrity fans here. Nope. Why not? Because you're not going to blame me for not getting a player. That's smart. You're not blaming me. Yeah, that is very smart. Limited upside to that. It's like when the Raptors brought Drake in

and they made him a big part of the pitch for Kawhi to stay there. And Kawhi decided not to. That looks bad on Drake. It does. Yes. And it's not a Drake business, because Drake is not owner of the Raptors. Yeah. At a certain point, you've got to be a fan and step back and stay in your lane. OK, your football team.

Yes, we're even to Las Vegas. Yes. How do you feel about their future? Are you still in on John Gruden? Yeah, I mean, we'll see. I mean, I I think, you know, when he was there the first time, they shouldn't have let him go. But now that he's back, we'll see if they should have brought him back. Yeah. You know, the jury's still out.

Yeah. Now, how does that work being a Raiders fan? I know there are a lot of people in Los Angeles that will remain Raiders or that have remained Raiders fans. Are they going to stick around through the move to Las Vegas once and forever? Yeah, they'll be there. I mean, more people from LA go to Vegas than to Oakland. That's true. It's closer to you. Do you get nervous when there's an earthquake?

Yeah, I would be scared by that. Yeah, I don't. I'm scared. Depends on it's two different kind of earthquakes. It's like one that rolls, which is everything is kind of rolling. And then there's the herky jerky. Somebody picked up your house and dropping it. Those are the ones. It's like chopped and screwed versus dubstep, I guess.

But those are the ones that are the ones that rattle your nerves. This is when they feel like somebody's picking up your house and dropping it. You got to be scared of the big one, right? I mean, scared. I don't know. I never been through it. So I don't know how I'm going to feel. Here's my theory is that California is such an awesome place to live, especially LA with the weather and everything like that,

that everyone who doesn't live in LA and doesn't live in California has to always remind people who live in California about the big one to make ourselves feel better. You're going to die in an earthquake, dude. Oh, man, I'm not. You are. I mean, you're going to die in a snow storm. It's the only thing that we have. Yeah, it's really all we got.

So we got to do. We got to remind you. That's cool. You know, I guess everybody got to have their reason not to like a place. It's just purely bitterness on our. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all it is to make yourself feel bad about all those 70 degree days when the sun is out. So just remember one of those 70 degree days where the sun is out,

the whole state's going to fall in the ocean. That ain't how I have it. Usually one of those quiet days that feel funky. Oh, you can feel. Are you like like how dogs can feel earthquakes? You feel the knees? Yeah. Well, no, not like that. But my wife.

When the day we we just had these earthquakes out there and my wife was like, it's too still out there. I don't hear birds. I don't hear. Oh, it's like, fuck, it's one of them eerie, quiet days. You wake up and you don't hear nothing. Uh huh. You're like something's coming because nothing's outside. Yes. Yes. I believe that. I want to get into a little bit of your acting career.

You're an esteemed actor. Do you think you're a better actor than your son? Yep. Oh, OK. How much work does he have to do to catch up to his dad? About 20 years. So it's a longevity thing. Yeah, I mean, I got more experience. Were you impressed the first time that you saw him on the big screen?

Yep. Very impressed. Yeah. He's a good actor. I mean, he does things. He does certain things, you know, better than me. Yeah. Would you be in Space Jam, too? I got to look at the script. It depends on what part it is. And, you know, I got to kind of know about the movie making part of it. So far, we've got what Don Cheadle said that he would be in it yesterday.

Dwight Howard told us he'd be in it if he was asked. So that's that's like a big three right there. But any basketball player better jump in it. You know, like, I don't know. See, I think LeBron doesn't have the same poll that he had five years ago. What? What poll? What was the poll? Got to do it. You're not you're not you're not coming to be a part of LeBron's team. Well, it's his movie being in a movie that the man is in.

Yeah, no, it's his movie, though. I feel like he doesn't have the same. It's a different chapter of his career. He is not, you know, when he was in his late 20s, early 30s, the league revolved around LeBron this past year, missing the playoffs and having the Lakers kind of fumble a little bit. It doesn't feel like the league totally revolves around LeBron anymore. Yeah, well, that's kind of a good thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no, I'm excited for this next. Yeah, it's a good thing. You know, so he should be fine with that. Are you worried at all about Kawhi taking over Staple Center? He's the guy who would do it, a robot. No, if he does it, he's going to do it quietly. So I ain't worried about it. How many championships with the Clippers have to win for that?

For like L.A. to shift to a Clipper town? 17. Seventy. Yeah, there you go. They'd have to go 17 in a row, probably. Yeah, for people to start saying it's no longer a Laker. I don't know. I feel like if they get two in a row, if they rip off two in a row right now, things are going to change a little bit in L.A. You know, a little bit.

Because everyone loves a winner. We'll have a little bit. They'll have to have 16 looking into like a crystal ball. How many barbershops are we going to end up with? Please say like three, nine, three. Come on. I don't know if another one will happen. They're all good. Just keep making it. Yeah.

You got to keep thinking of stories that. Make it a good reason to go back into the barbershop. Your hair got too long. Ah, let's do it to our movie. To our movie about just just a guy getting his hair cut. Go there. You got to sit because you got to wait. There should be a white barbershop where it's just like a guy getting his hair cut and then somebody like just in total silence.

No, yeah, like 30 minutes. And then they accidentally bump their balls up against you and you both get uncomfortable. Yeah, that's what happens when white people make that movie. It's a guy who's kind of balding. So his barber, like maybe the start of it is the barber feeling a little bit awkward. He's like, I don't really want to give him a haircut. Makes a couple of faces to him. And then it's just silence.

You guys are a terrible script writer. Well, we're working on it. See, our idea is to pitch you these terrible scripts to make our ideas for the big three sound even better by comparison. I get it. I get it now. Philosophy. How many more Fridays are we going to get? Um, I don't know.

You know, we're going to get one more for sure. And you never know, you know, if that one were people love it. Why not do another? I've always wondered about those movies, because I know in in Hollywood, they they come up with like fake weed for you to smoke on set. So you don't stay high all the time. Do you guys ever just say, fuck that, we're just going to smoke a real joint? Well, we smoke real weed, not trailer.

And then come out and smoke the fake weed. So they're doing a really good job by giving you a big weed, not high. Yeah. How does it like at this point in your career, are you when you decide what you want to do in terms of work wise, whether it be movies, whether it be big three, are you a little bit more picky or are you just like I love to work and I want to keep working? I've always been picky, you know, I've always been like,

you know, can I make this better? Can I, you know, cannot is my presence going to make this project better? If not, then I don't want to do it. Yeah. Yeah. Then I'll start looking and figuring out, OK, this is something I can do. And when you read a script, are you like, this is it? If you see something, you're like, you know, right away. Or do you have to sometimes,

you know, sometimes someone can like wear you down, like we're going to wear you down on a couple of scripts would eventually be like, fine, I'll fucking make this movie. Or do you is it just I'm in love with this script or I'm not? Sometimes it's I'm in love with it. Let's roll. But, you know, I mean, my manager talking me into doing Three Kings, you know, which was a cool movie.

I did with with George Columbia and Mark Wahlberg. But reading it, I'm like, man, you know, I don't I don't see it. And they were like, oh, this is going to be great. So when I met with the director and saw what kind of movie one to make, then it was like, OK, I can see it now. The script didn't tell me what it was going to be. Yeah. Or what was it about the script of Anaconda that you were like, I want to be in this fucking movie?

The black man didn't die. That was it. It's like, what? I said, I only be in the movie if I live through the whole movie. And so, you know, I was there like, yeah, you know, go ahead. I said, OK, and I get to kill the snake, me and Jennifer. Yeah. That's a snake. That snake kept that with that gave me nightmares.

You know, the snake is the animatronic thing, you know, waited about a ton, you know, it was like heavy because it was hooked up to this computer. And one day, the snake malfunctioned and almost killed Jennifer Lopez on the set. What? They couldn't stop it. And it just started tearing up the set. So we were really scared of this damn thing. You know, it was like, y'all got it, the computer work and everything

go malfunction because it's this thing and it's made of metal wrapped in like a tire. So it's hard as shit, I mean. And, you know, we was like this thing about the, you know, they have it right there. And we're like, man, this thing is just going to malfunction and bust my nose open. You know, because it just went crazy. And so it had a lot of glitches in it. So we was really scared of that damn fake, fake snake.

I feel like that would be that that story. If someone like died from a big, fake snake and be like, well, that kind of made sense. They were tempting like God there by just making this incredible, huge, fake snake. Thank you. Pretending that it's not a real snake. And it killed somebody for real and the real snake. The damn snake made more money than us. It took him like seven, ten million dollars to make that damn thing.

I'm like, what? You delivered one of my favorite lines in movie history in that film. And it was, I think it was, damn, the axe fell out after you hit it with the axe. That's how we knew that the Anaconda wasn't dead yet when it ran away. Damn, I thought it was a it snakes out here that big. That's also a good one. Yeah. All right.

Wrapping up. So I alluded to it at the beginning of the show that we were going to do something that you would probably then like click. Oh, I remember these guys. So we're going to do it right now. And that is PFT wrote a rap. So I don't know if you remember, but last time you're on, he wrote you a free style.

It's a free style. Free style. I'm like black thought. I don't know if you remember this. But last time we tried it, it didn't go so well. I think you probably were like, I don't know about these guys. I think he said I was terrible. Yeah. No, he said I was bad, but like the cool way that people. Yeah, you're like that.

That cat's bad. You guys are bad. OK, like that is a free style. Are you ready for it? I'm going to do the beat again. I get a chance to return it. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Please do. All right. Here we go. You better step back when you step to PMT.

Hanks the cat killer. Big cat keeps it realer. I'll go bananas on your ass. I'm a tiny old gorilla. Paper thin windows making noise all night like graduation. Sigma come loud to the mic. PMT we ride together. We're separating never protect this time forever.

This shit's hot like the weather takes so hot. They're going to make you sweat. Today was a good day, but it's not done yet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, that was pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. You actually have flow on that. I mean, the beat box.

Yeah. Well, I didn't know he was going to go that fast. You know, the beat helped me out. Yeah. Like anyone could. I also can't do the pooch. I get I get out of breath. Yeah. You know, but yeah, the rhyme was it was way tighter than last time. What was the last time I forget? I probably started out by saying, like, my name's PMT and I'm here to say.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm here to say. Yeah. Has anybody ever actually started a rap song by saying that? I wrote my first rap ever. That was my line. No, no, it was I want you to know it wasn't. And I'm here to say my name is ice cube. My name is ice cube.

And I want you to know in W.A. I'm not Curtis. I'm not run DMC or Curtis blow. That was my first rap line ever wrote in my history of rhyming. I was 14 and that was my first run. My name is ice cube. I want you to know I'm not run DMC or Curtis blow to the head. Hell, no, it was.

Nobody liked my rap. I was trying to rap it to everybody. I was like, man, you know, now I was doing a job. Have you ever written something and you thought like instantly when it came out, you're like, this is going to be awesome. This is a great verse I just wrote and then nobody likes it. Um, I don't know if like nobody likes it because they wouldn't tell me if they didn't like it, but it didn't sell.

So yeah, like, damn, I thought that was the one. And what about the reverse one that you're like, that's OK. And then it just became the biggest hit. Yeah, so I did called check yourself. It's like I did a remix to it that I was like, oh, that's cool. We're throwing the the beat from a grandmaster flashed message. And it just kind of kept growing. Yeah, that's got to feel pretty damn good.

It is. That wasn't even my best shit. And you guys loved it. Yeah, stumble on a hit. Yeah. Hell, yeah. Sometimes the episodes I need to stumble on a hit. Yeah, I'm overdue for one of those. I just want one hit once kind of hit. You're talking about some dudes downstairs that are gay, which need. Oh, OK, well, we could do that.

We could do an old town road remix. Yeah, would you do it? Everyone's going to do that. Oh, what? Old town road remix. Matters how much is buying it. OK. Well, maybe we'll just start. Maybe that will be our thing. We'll remix the remixes of Old Town Road. Of Old Town Road, Virgin 2.0 of the remix. OK, I like that.

With a remix. Can we put your name on it? Can you say that you're loosely attached? No. OK. No, that loosely attached. We get a lot of loosely attached. Could we have loosely attached to something? We had Jimmy Tatro. Oh, yeah. Loosely attached to a couple of scripts of ours.

Some scripts were producing. Yeah. So you just say that you talk to someone and say, hey, can you be loosely attached? And then, boom, next thing you know, we're going and talking to people trying to put your name put your name there. Yeah, loosely attached means you're not getting paid for it. Right. That's what that means. And just so you know, or you're not going to be a part of the project when we really get the money. Right.

And just so you know, just because you declined the loosely attached there, we're you're still loosely attached. I mean, you know, everybody named drop. Everybody named drop to get something done. Yeah. Can you just say I'm going to ride till I can't no more? Just say that. And then we'll just isolate that and we'll put it in our own rematch. Just say I'm going to ride till I can't no more. I'm good.

All right. Big three. Where can everyone watch what? I mean, it's going to be awesome. It's already started. Yeah. It has been awesome. You can check us out Saturday, this Saturday, this Sunday. CBS at noon Eastern. Get busy. Check us out. Great basketball or come to the damn game.

We had Providence, Rhode Island. OK. And we in Brooklyn, New York. Hell, yeah. You got to see it live, man. Seeing seven footers play three on three is crazy. Can we bet on it? Yeah. I feel like my book, he doesn't have lines for it yet. I need to get he should or he ain't on top of that. That's the big key.

Being slow. Yeah. He wants your money. So what should I bet? You have any inside tips? Bet it all, man. Bet your house. OK. All right. I don't have one. So all right. Done. Done. It's bet. Yeah.

Ice Cube, thanks again, man. Appreciate it. Yeah, yeah. It's great to have you on. Thanks. Appreciate it, man. Yeah, yeah, you. That interview with Ice Cube was brought to you by Ruffin Rowdy. Nine Ruffin Rowdy nine is going to Fort Bragg, North Carolina for a red, white and bruised beat down.

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and you're trying to figure out, oh, that construction worker. Oh, yeah, he was. No, I don't know who he is. You're going to have to lie. You're going to say something that's going to get you caught in a lie. Everyone's going to know that you didn't buy Ruffin Rowdy, and they're going to make fun of you. So go to buyrnr.com. That's B-U-Y-R-N-R.com to learn how you can watch the fight. Oh, you can watch it for free.

There's a way to do it, but you're going to have to go to buyrnr.com to find out how. Nice. It's going to be awesome. All right, let's do our Mount Rushmore and finish up with a couple of segments. We have the Mount Rushmore of animal traits you would like to have. And should we, well, first of all, we need to figure out the order. Wait, wait, it's animal traits that you wish that you had. Animal qualities that you wish you had. I prepared for the wrong Mount Rushmore.

So let's go. What did you do? I just thought it was traits that you wish I had. So I just said a little bit taller, a baller, a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a 6-4 Impala. That's like a, I'm going to give it a 1.8. No, I really did prepare for the wrong Mount Rushmore. All right, animal traits you wish you had. Who is starting?

It's got to be me. Is it? OK, Jake, PMT Sports Biz Jake Marsh says that it is you. So then I would be second. Let's also just clear this up that if you you can pick the same animal with different trait, correct? Yeah, I think that's fair. You know, I think that's fair. I mean, based off that, I we might not even have the same like my first one is the ability

to fly. OK, so which animal? Bald eagle. OK, you just picked a bald eagle randomly. Animal qualities that you wish you had. Yeah, you don't want the fastest. You want the Pellow Green Falcon. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

The bald eagle is the boss of the air. It's not bottled water because it's peregrine falcon. Peregrine Pellow Green, Pellow Green, Pellow Falcon. I will take the Laquaw Eagle. All right, wait, but hey, that's OK. So you want that, but someone can pick a faster bird? I guess. OK, I thought it was animal quality. So like an animal bird has the ability to fly.

I didn't know it was like we're going specific animal specific quality. I don't know. I guess we'll just we'll go with it. All right. Well, mine. Well, I'm happy to pick my first one because I have a bunch of good ones, but I had to do this one. A dog's loyalty. That's number one for me. That's pretty good. Yes.

A dog's loyalty. Mine, I'm just I'm going to go with Tiger Stripes. What? I just Tigers are bad at stripes. If you're telling me that you don't think Tigers are awesome, then you're a moron. You have two. You have two. OK, my next one is a rabbit's horniness. OK, all right, there you go. Fucking like rabbits.

OK, I'll go with. I'll go. You don't know about rabbits. Fucking I'll go with the cheetah's speed. You just wish you were fast. Yeah, I wish I was cheetah cheetah's speed. OK, no, the speed of a cheetah like the math. This is the worst Mount Rush one you've ever done. You're the one that wanted to do it.

No, you say you're the one who said it. I was like, oh, that's good. And then PFC wasn't listening. I was just rattling off a lot of general less than you are. I do think this is a good Mount Rush where it's just gone sideways. But I do think it is. Honestly, a cheetah's speed isn't bad.

Yeah, it'd be cool to be fast. Yeah, I'd much rather have the tiger really fucking fast. But that's a good consolation price. I will go with like a dog's desire and passion to ball 24 seven. Oh, like if I if I had if I had that. So you want to be rock? Yeah, if I had that if I had a dog's desire and passion to just play ball every second of every day, I'd be in.

You wouldn't have a job. Wait, no, I would. I'd be a professional something. You'd want to just you want to chase balls all day long. Is that what you're saying? All like most dogs like their like day is like, when do I get to play ball? When do I get to see the ball? If I had that, that was my like mindset.

I had that quality like I'd be a pro because that's all you do. OK, Hank. Pretty close. Yes, pretty close. Hank, Hank was stared looking for the ball. And then I'll go with chameleon, like the ability to change colors. That's really good. That's good, Hank. That's good.

OK, I'll go with my third pick. I'll go with the ant strength 10 to 50 times body weight. OK. Yeah, but if you had an ant strength, you'd be weak as fuck. I'd have a 10 to 50 times body weight. He's talking proportionally. I would have this to do how much going to ant lift like one. But it's a rubber tree plan. Portional. I'm I have 10 to 50 times the body weight.

I can lift 10 to 50 times my body weight, which is like, I don't know. So that means that 2000 pounds. That also means the fat, the fatter you get, the stronger I am. Yes, yes, stronger. Yes. How would you not want that? I thought I didn't know where you're going proportional. I thought it was like if you get an strength, then you can lift like one ounce. No.

I want 10 to 50 times. I'm going to go with same with proportionality here. I'm going with a fleas jumping ability. Oh, good one. I'd be able to jump to the moon. Yes. If you if a flea were the size of me. You'd be able to dunk finally. No, I could dunk on any hoop.

I could dunk on Saturn's rings. That's how I could jump. OK. And then my last one is going to be the sting of a hornet. Oh, good. If I had a little stinger. Oh, cornets die out of this right now. No, no, Hank, common misconception. You're thinking of a honeybee. A hornet stinger is smooth.

It glides in, glides out. Oh, yes. Hornet can sting multiple. I actually want to give her a real quick Monday reading. We don't have a Monday reading coming today. But this is from my mom for all you people that don't believe in. Do you have a mom? How deadly a single hornet can be. OK.

She said, I got this last night. I just got stung in the butt by one of those huge hornets, like the one that stung you. It's been an hour and my butt still hurts badly. Ouch. I'm OK. Dad got it. It flew up to the ceiling and he killed it when it came down. Damn.

So that's a quick Monday read. Shout out to my dad and my mom. Hero. That's hero ball. That's a dad strength. That's a dad move, too, just killing the smallest animal in the world that threatens the family. You hurt my wife and the son of a bitch.

This mouse that scared everyone, I got this. I bet my dad just stayed in the living room staring at the ceiling for like 20 minutes. But I did newspaper. Count them on in Chris. Yeah, actually, he's a big tennis racket guy. That's that doesn't seem like it would work for him. It was no, it's Wimbledon sent right through.

All right. My last one, I'll go with a bear's fishing ability. That would be sick. If I could just fucking grab fish out of the water, that would be pretty fun. Anything? No. OK.

Rocky did that. You guys are doing nothing here. I'm just thinking about you doing that. It would be sick. You would never do it, though. Yes, I would. I would be like, hey, guys, watch me grab this fish out of the fucking river.

You know what would be crazy? I think you could do that, though. No. Wait, what? You think I could just grab salmon by the fucking thousand? Yes. No chance. Dude, I've been watching a lot of Planet Earth.

Their method is not that crazy. It would be awesome to be able to grab it. Their method is they go out and freezing water and they stand there for hours and they catch it with their mouths. Right. And they just scoop them up. But you could do that. Yeah, I could do that with your mouth.

He can't catch it with his mouth. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. You could. You cannot catch a fish with your hand in a river, Hank. There is no chance. Yes, I could. OK, well, we'll have to find a way to prove

that there's no chance you could do it. Give me enough time in a fucking Alaska. Enough time? Dude, in Alaska, when the fish are coming downstream, there's a million of them. They go upstream. They go upstream. In the salmon.

Second of all, you can't even get Larry in a net. In a tank, a goldfish. Facts. Facts. Yeah. If I had a day on a river in Alaska, I could catch a fish in my hand. OK, what's your last one?

I had. I'll go with I guess bears ability to hibernate. Would you really want to do that, though? All football season. The other one. Well, it doesn't matter what you can, like, specify the season. You could just hibernate throughout the spring, right?

The other one I was thinking is March Madness. I'll go. I'll go with that. I'll go with that. OK. My honorable mention was to cocoon up and then become a butterfly. Oh, Jesus.

I don't know if that would be cool. So, Hank, you want to you want the ability to start out as a shitty gross thing and then become marginally more attractive? Yeah. I mean, it's better than my current situation, which is just like a shitty gross thing for a wife. No, then this is kind of like you growing a beard.

Yeah, I was going to say, you grow the beard. That's your cocoon. Yeah, that's true. You already have that build. You look gorgeous. I guess that's true. All right. Any honorable mentions?

I wrote down a few. How about an Owl's night vision or an Eagle's vision, too? Eagle's can look. I think they can see up to 10 times farther than human beings, which is pretty sick. Hawkeye. Hawkeye. You can squint and spot balls.

You guys know about the Scarlet Jellyfish? It can like regrow its life. It goes down to the bottom and it becomes like a little baby jellyfish again. It rebirths itself. It rebirths itself. So it's basically they can just live forever. I wouldn't want that.

I don't think I'd want that either, especially because if you did that, you'd have to become a baby again. Yeah. That would suck. No, thanks. But it's a cool idea to throw out there. PFT Meerkats have built-in sunglasses. That's pretty awesome.

That would solve a lot of problems. That would solve a lot of problems. What about the fish from Finding Nemo that has the light at the end of it? So you could walk around always with the light in front of yourself. That would be pretty cool. Like a miner's light?

Yeah. Yeah. How about a, oh, for you, lion facial hair? Yeah, that'd be nice. For me. Wait, wait, lions don't really have facial hair. They've got names. Yeah, that's pretty good.

That's not facial hair, though. Yeah, I mean, they have it around their face. I embrace debate is a lion's main facial hair. I'm pretty sure it is. I don't think that it is. I think it's like it's just a wreath of hair. For my son, opossums have self-immunization, so I wouldn't have to get them immune,

get them all those shots and stuff. Yeah, you're not going to do that anyway. I'm not going to. Right, exactly. But that'd be pretty sick to be able to just kill. Opossums are crazy. Or is every opossum autistic because they are immunized? I mean, I don't know.

I'm not going to answer that. And the only other one I wrote down was the rat's love for subways, because it's like a hate going on the subway. It'd be nice to enjoy a subway. Enjoy it. Right, you enjoy being in the subway station. And a rat's love for pizza.

That's true. That's true. That'd be nice, too. Anything else, Hank? Any other ones? Penguins, like penguins can swim. Penguins can swim. You could have just pipped a fish.

Yeah, you could have pipped a jar. I like animals that can be above the water and then do. I like the multi-multi-multi-multi-purpose. Yeah, multi-multi-multi-multi-multi-multi-multi-multi. The Humvees, the magical animal world. Seals would be fun, but then you've got to worry about sharks all the time. Yeah, the match-up nightmares.

You just chill and tan all day. No, you don't, because you're a human. Yeah. I guess that's how you think about that one. A shark would have been a good answer. Just swim forever. If I had the ability to stay underwater like a shark, I would just become a Navy SEAL.

And just fuck everyone's mind in Bud's training. You would be a ship or soldier. Yeah, they'd try to keep me underwater. And I would just be like, yeah, I'm cool, guys. I'm here forever. You would be America's secret weapon. It'd be awesome. Any others?

OK, that was either our worst or best that we've ever done. Electric eel would be pretty cool. You could just shock everybody. Reach out your hand to shake somebody's hand as a gag. You don't need the buzzer. You just like zap them. That would be cool. Gotcha.

Yeah, I guess I wrote down dolphins, but I couldn't figure out what. Maybe having people fall in love with you and fuck you. Yeah, that's pretty. Or a whale. A whale, too. You get to fuck John McAfee, right? Yeah, that's true.

That is true. The antivirus guy. Hey, you can have this money. And when they jizz, it's like 12 gallons. A whale's jizz. I wish that when I jizzed, it just makes them such a big mess. Nothing can be cleaned up.

I wish my ropes were just like spider silk. I saw a whale shit in Hawaii. It was sick. He just came right up by the boat, and there was so much shit. It was awesome to watch. I saw a horse jerk off one time. That's pretty cool, too. Oh, yeah, you told us that story, yeah.

OK, that was whale jerk off talk. Yeah, the worst or the best mount rush we've ever done. Tell us what we got wrong. You know what, being a spider and having the ability to just shoot out building material that's super strong, that would be pretty cool, too. They should do a movie about that. Yeah, they should.

All right, we have two segments to wrap up, or a couple segments. Bad Visual, PFT. You had the Bad Visual? The Bad Visual, there's a big cheating and chess scandal. So this guy, this grandmaster, got caught. By the way, that's a badass name. That's a super cool title for being really good at a game.

Is at some point, you were in the title grandmaster. He got caught cheating in a tournament because they took a picture of him in the bathroom looking at a phone. And so he admitted that he went to the bathroom and he was checking his phone. Here was his quote. Should have just pulled up U-Porn.

Yeah, this guy, well, that would be a great explanation, just like I wanted to crank one out. It clears my mind. So this guy, let's see what his name is, Rousus. He says, I simply lost my mind yesterday. I confirmed the fact of using my phone during the game. Excuse me, by written statement, what could I say more? Yes, I was tired after the morning game

and all the Facebook activity of accusers also have a known impact. At least what I committed yesterday is a good lesson. Not for me. I played my last game of chess already. Whoa. So he's making himself a martyr. So he retired.

I think this is his way of walking out. He walked the Facebook community to get to him. That's pretty badass. If you get caught cheating by looking at your phone during a game of chess on a toilet, the last thing I would do is check the Facebook comments about my article. How do you cheat on chess?

So you can, I guess, program it into a computer? Yeah. But didn't we have those chess people that beat the computer? Maybe he was just on Tinder. And his bio just said, if you're really good at chess, hit me up for a discussion. Tell me what this rook should do in this position. Yeah, he was just asking the community of hot chicks

what he should do in the game. But it's funny because his rating has gone. There were a bunch of red flags about this guy to begin with that they should have caught. His rating was going up as he was getting older. And I think PDs. Typically, it's just like, you know, Roger Clemens. Well, allegedly, he was never convicted.

LeBron? Both. Oh, OK. Both. Your brain starts to deteriorate before you get to the age of, like, 50 in chess. So you never see somebody continue to improve at that age. Interesting.

Except for this guy. And they caught him using a phone in the toilet. I love. We should get, actually, you know what? Let's do that. For Barstil Gold, we've got to get a chess master on. You want to have a chess master on? That would be sick.

OK. Just talk about, like, what's the groupie scene for chess master? Oh, I'm sure it's awesome. Well, you slay dude when you go to, like, in Russia? Yeah. I'm pretty sure, like, chess dads are, like, pageant moms to the point where they will keep their son tied up

to a chair for 14 hours a day and just, like, reward him with a taste of water if he gets out of, like, a gambit. All right, so we'll find that out. We'll find that out for you guys later. All right, our last segment of the day. We have a Saber Metrix. This one is actually for an awesome, well, bad story, but an awesome event on Friday night.

The Angels for Tyler Skaggs, they wore his number 45. He passed away tragically a couple of weeks ago. Pitcher for the Angels, they all wore number 45. And they won, but they won with a combined no-hitter. And then the numbers after, like, this is one of those situations where if you don't believe something else is going on, I don't know, but, like, these things happen and you're like,

what the fuck? Like, D Gordon hitting that home run for Jose Fernandez. So they pitched a combined no-hitter. And the last time there was a combined no-hitter in the state of California was July 13, 1991, which was the day that Tyler Skaggs was born. So his birthday, the no-hitter happened, like, hours before his birthday.

Mike Trout wearing number 45 for Tyler Skaggs hit a home run in his first at bat, 454 feet, which is weird. They scored seven runs in the first inning and ended up with 13 runs. His birthday, 713. His mom threw out the first pitch through a strike. And there was one more.

Oh, there was one that was Mike. This is the Tim Kirchen one, where it's, like, getting a little too far down there, but I'll still throw it out there. Trout, in his last 45 games, he has reached base 45% of the time. That's pretty cool. That is pretty cool.

So it was one of those, like, bigger than, you know, some things are bigger than sports moments. Shout out, Rigo Bosco, where everything kind of came together and it was a very cool moment. It's like one of those Kennedy-Lincoln things that all adds up. Right. Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln Lincoln.

Yeah, right. He was named Kennedy. Right. And you're just like, whoa, what's going on here? Are the Angels, should we start putting just, like, a little tickler on them? Maybe Team of Destiny? Angels in the outfield.

Yeah. That would be pretty cool. Good point. Yeah. Good point. The rally monkey. Bring back the rally monkey. I mean, that was a big mistake when they got rid of the rally.

Huge mistake. Where did the rally monkey even start? It got sick of, like, shit. Did a monkey run onto the field? No, I think they just squirrel. I think it was, like, an extra in a Disney movie. There's just a little kid. And they're like, somebody said, hey,

we got this free monkey if anybody wants it. The Angels is a franchise. You know what? They're very interesting. I want to amend one of my Mount Rushmore's. I want the luck of a rally monkey. OK, there you go. You can't, but it was a let it be known retroactively.

Yeah. That is illegal. As we know, once you take your hand off the piece, it's over. Well, on the floor, you can go into the bathroom. Yeah, exactly. All right, we got a couple of really good guests coming up for you this week. We have Dr. Phil on Wednesday.

We have possibly Chris Broussard on Friday. So big week. We're going to get through this. We'll have a couple more weeks till the Hall of Fame game. So you got this, guys. We'll see you Wednesday. Love you guys, especially you, Matt Schaub and Hulak. I'm really looking forward to it.

I'm getting there when you must be thinking about my tongue. Oh, your clit and switching back and forth, switching back and forth from my day to my tongue. Day to my tongue. Day to my tongue. Switching back and forth from my day to my tongue. I'm getting there when you must be thinking about my tongue. Oh, your clit and switching back and forth,

switching back and forth from my day to my tongue. Day to my tongue. Day to my tongue. Switching back and forth from my day to my tongue. It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports. Thank you.