Pardon My Take - Indy Airport Review, NFL Combine And Pete Prisco

Episode Date: March 1, 2019

We're live from Indianapolis on the 3 year anniversary of the first PMT (2:27 - 5:24). Kyler Murray is measured and PFT has lost a role model (5:24 - 10:17). Jason Witten is going back to the NFL but totally wasn't fired (10:17 - 21:19). Pete Prisco joins the show to talk about the Combine, how he ranks the quarterbacks, and his best Combine story (21:19 - 48:18). Segments include Bryce is Right, Take Quake, Real Men Of Genius and the First Ever Airport Review. You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, the three-year anniversary of our very first show. And because it is a three-year anniversary of our very first show, we have finally done it. We joined a cult. We joined a cult. It's called Pardon My Take and you're involved in it. No, we actually did a real life airport review. It's at the end of the show. It's electric. We reviewed the Indianapolis Airport. Is it international? I don't even know if they have international travel. Just say yes. International. We just basically walked around with microphones. We interviewed some flight attendants. You almost

said stewardess. We did. We interviewed a security person. We interviewed a random guy that wanted to debate us in the bathroom. Followed us into the bathroom. We talked about the bathrooms, the shops, the walkways. I would say the best airport review that a podcast has ever done. I would agree with that. Okay, so we finally did it. We also have Pete Prisco. We're live from Indian apolis. We're going to talk Kyler Murray, Jason Witten, a ton of Combine stuff. And then of course, the Bryce is right. Before we get to all of that, speaking of the Bryce is right, the cash card. I bet you that Bryce Harper, I'm going off script right now. I bet you that Bryce Harper has a cash card. I bet you he demanded his entire contract to be paid in the cash card.

Do you know why? Because $330 million is cool, but you know what's really cool is having the cash card from the cash app, the number one finance app in the app store for a reason. The cash card is the most powerful debit card in the world. And the only debit card with boosts, a money saving feature you can't get anywhere else, because the cash app invented it. Just select a boost in your cash app, swipe the cash card and save 10% or more at Whole Foods, Shake Shack, Chipotle, Taco Bell, Chick-fil-A, Domino's and coffee shops. Want to go organic without paying for it? Save 10% on every bag of groceries with the Whole Foods boost. It's not hard to spend $50 at Whole Foods, but it's easy to save $5 if you do. The coffee shop boost takes a dollar off at any coffee shop, including Duncan

and Starbucks. Buy 200 cups a year, save $200. It's that simple. Become a part of the greatest rewards program ever and get boosted today. Download the cash app from the app store or Google Play and order the cash card today. You're not an award-winning listener unless you do it, so go download it right now. Okay, let's go. It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports. Welcome to part of my take presented by Hank put in the reggae horns right here, a little throwback, three-year anniversary, and because it's a three-year anniversary, we're giving a gift to everyone, not just the airport reviews. We also are making the entire

part of my take collection at the Barstool Sports store 50% off, 50% off, 50. That sounds like the boys in marketing must have messed up big time on that one. Yeah, they really did. They screwed that one up. They thought it was going to be five. They added a zero, 50% off from now until Sunday night. Everything. Hank, I'm looking at it right now. I'm seeing it. The Velour jumpsuit, the Charlotte Hornets jumpsuit, the she shirt, the hats, the PMT hats, the football guy shirts, the regular logo, the Coach O shirts, the Vanny Woodhead shirts, the Larry shirts, the this car stick. Car stick. Wait, the car 60% off. Joe Flacco Elite for Broncos fans. Josh Allen is tall. We got stickers. We got Jewel, Jewel, or, uh, these Chargers. No, it's the Vape, uh, the Jewel skin. Yeah,

the Jewel skin. Uh, we have posters, everything. Chaw Dog. Sorry. Life's too short to bet the under. Literally everything is in the store right now. Barstool Sports store, part of my take. Just click on that 50% off from now until the end of Sunday. So treat yourself. Today is Friday, March 1st. That was, that was, yeah, I almost got lost. March 1st, man, the years flying by. Um, this is a dark day for me and for many like me out there. I was pinning all my hopes and dreams this morning on Kyler Murray. Clocking in at exactly five nine. It was going to be the year of the five nine. Royce to five nine was going to make a comeback. Everybody. So have you made yourself five nine now? I'm five nine. Okay. I've been five nine. I just, because you, yeah, I just was

confused. No, I'm five nine now. God made me five nine is what happened, but he clocked it at five 10 and one eighth. Yes. Big time sell out. He's dead to me here. Here are Kyler Murray's official measurements because I don't think I've I've never seen a combine measurement that people are waiting for more than Kyler Murray's five 10 and one eighth like PFT said, weight 207 hand nine and a half inches. For some reason, the person wrote nine and four ace, which yeah, that's good reduction. You got to reduce those fractions. Arm 28 and a half inches wingspan 69 and a half inches wingspan is such a hilarious measurement. Yes. So Kyler Murray not as small like you don't care how long his left arm is right. You just care how long his right arm. Correct. His left arm doesn't give a

shit. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. He could be Jim Abbott. He's not blocking shots. Exactly. But yeah, he's dead to me. I know that like in your mind and in a lot of scouts minds, you know, now now he's draftable because he's got that 10. Just like Jason Garrett when he got that 10th win this year, the 10 looks a hell of a lot better than the nine. Yes. So I get that I'm just I'm massively disappointed but I'm out on him. I almost I almost think that he's too tall now. Like I'd rather you be extremely tall or extremely short. And now he's just kind of a tweener. You know what else I noticed about him? Here's the thing. It's a misleading five 10. He's got low eyes. Oh, his eyes are very low on his face. So might as well not even be five 10. So five 10. I like him now

he is draftable. He moved up my big board. He is still undraftable for John Elway like eight inches too short. John Elway even said that he was like, Yeah, he's get this guy can't get him under center. So we're at the combine. We're in Indianapolis. Wouldn't that make it easier for him to get under center if he's short? I John Elway literally is just he is we should do John Elway's time machine because only like John Gruden we make fun of him. John Elway is running like a 1985 offense. Yeah. And I don't like again, too tall. The heart his heart is too far from his brain now. There you go. The low eyes and the distance to the heart. That's that's what I'm going to be harping on. So we're at the combine. Kyler Murray that really is it like pack your bags and go home

guys. We measured Kyler Murray. We measured his hands. Those are the human being to be serious for a second. Those are big hands for a guy that's five 10 very big hands. We the combine is the ultimate people watching place. We've already been escorted out of an area. We tried to walk into where they were doing the bench press and like within a second someone came up to us like you guys aren't allowed in here. They're very nice about it. Yeah. And it's almost it's at this point with NFL security. It's not even we got arrested. What? We got arrested. No, I did not think I was free to go no minute there. We were fine. We're totally free to go. Okay. So at this point with NFL security it's not like the love is lost. Like they came up to us or like you can't

go in there like all right whatever. Yeah. And they're like all right just go away. It's not really a thrill to me anymore at all. Okay. Cool. Yeah. So I guess we didn't tape a show after the most recent news came out right that the letter that we were shown that had us all on there. Well I say all of us I mean big cat and I were on there. Yeah. That we're banned from all sorts of events because we're troublemakers. Hank was conspicuously absent from that was the man who's been arrested for Tom Brady. Hank you know what you know what animal hates cats just like you? What? A rat. A rat. Whoa. What are you trying to say? This is me like scurrying around. Oh I love I love whole slices of pizza. Wait turn off the lights PFT real quick. I'm too fat I can't fit to the sewer. Whoa.

Turn off the lights real quick. Do you see that fat rat? That's a little rat scurrying when you turn off the lights. Rat Lockwood. Yeah. Rat Lockwood. He's running around the deck of the ship. We've got to burn the whole ship. Get away from these cats. Yeah so we're banned from the NFL but that's not really new we just got a bolt and they put out a poster and we've actually confirmed it. There was a lot of talk about whether it was fake or not but I've had two separate people journalists hit me up and be like I saw them like when you walk by and you go through the metal detectors it's literally sitting right there. So it is real it's ridiculous like I cannot believe it's real I wanted to think it was fake but it is real so we're at the combine we're

doing our thing we're basically taping everything out of my hotel room which is totally fine totally normal we have Pete Prisco he walked in and was like what's going on. Well he's from Florida he's seen worse in a hotel room before. This is a little cast in couch situation. Collin Murray's been measured and that's it. That's it. People watching. John Gruden. That's the entire week you saw John Gruden I saw Reggie McKenzie. Yep shuffling around. The Raiders are staying at the same hotel as us which is probably not great for the Raiders franchise. They're staying at the same hotel as us. Yep ran into Shefty. Yep. Shefty came by. He was very disappointed as a fellow 5'9 person. Yeah so. Good morning for both of us. It's the combine is a hilarious spot where

it's like if you were a football nut it's the greatest people watching you could ever do and for everyone else no one cares. No one really gives a shit. Yeah no one gives a shit. This was surprisingly one of the busiest sports days of like the last couple weeks. Yeah. Because the news broke as we were doing an interview right outside the radio row set up that they had. That Jason Witton was fired. Jay Witt dog is back in the NFL. Now who knows how that he was. It's rare that you find a guy that's as talented at broadcasting and at football as Jason Witton. Yeah. So he had to make a choice. So embrace debate. Is he retiring or is he unretiring. He is. So he is doing the most genius thing that he's ever like I don't know. Someone obviously

told him to do this because he didn't think he did not think of this himself. But what Jason Witton has just pulled off and I want people to pay attention very closely with the one year of broadcasting that he did and he was bad. He was very bad. He is now going back to the NFL and now he can forever be the guy where well he never got his second year. So we don't know. The jury's still out on whether or not Jason Witton is bad and history will be kind to him and not mock him. Like there are people listening to the show right now that don't remember that Dennis Miller was on the Monday Night Football broadcast. So if you get out fast enough like Jason Witton, his career is as great as it's ever been. Right. It's like nothing ever happened.

We can just move on. He's going back to the NFL. Was it five million dollars? Three and a half. I think three and a half million dollars. I can't believe that he's actually going to play football because the year before he went to be a broadcaster, he was barely playing football. Yeah. He spends in straight lines. He spent the last year having all of his joints tighten up even more on him. It's going to be great. He's the 10 man when he runs and we need to get Tony Romo out of the CBS booth and back in a Dallas Cowboys uniform and just do it all over. Get the entire band back together. But this is no serious in all seriousness. This is a genius move by Jason Witton because he had to have someone to be like, Hey, listen, dude, best case scenario, you get to do the ESPN gig

for another year and you get fired. Worst case scenario, they fire you in the next month. All we can be sure of is this is without a doubt the end of the line for the Booger Mobile. Yeah, because they're not in the booth. They're not going to keep Booger on the sidelines and that thing and just have Tesla tour up in the booth as as electric as that might be. Maybe they'll put them both on the Booger Mobile. That would be great to just get rid of the booth altogether. Yeah, he Joe test just sits on boogers lap. Yeah, on his lap with a glass of red wine with a joystick just controlling it back and forth. So who is going to replace Jason Witton in this booth? I think the first talk about big shoes to fill. Right. The first option is they just go with the

two man booth, which I actually think is the smart thing. But knowing how ESPN operates with these decisions, they need to make a splash. So it's going to be go the smart thing will throw that out. I throughout the name, Peyton Manning will be the biggest splash if they get Peyton Manning. Yeah, obviously. Yeah, I think it's going to be I actually think it'd be very, very good in the booth. You're talking about a guy with low eyes. He sets the record for lowest eyes to forehead ratio. Speaking of getting fired or quitting before you can get fired. What if Eli did it? Oh my God, I sure hope so. You put you put Eli Manning in the booger mobile and just have him like floating around. Yeah, sign me up mouth open collecting bugs in there like a dude

riding a motorcycle down the highway. Like a nice like a nice background noise. The whole broadcast is just a hot mic on Eli Manning mouth breathing. Instead of the booger mobile, it should be just a giant Thomas the tank engine train that he gets a steer around with a little conductor's hat on a little whistle. Yeah, Papa, look at me. I'm taking this thing down to Sadlon. Yeah, let's take it down to you. Like, okay, let's go to break. Yeah, I think you're right. Peyton Manning is is a smart choice. But I don't know if he wants to do it because that's a lot of commitment. Yeah, I feel like Peyton Manning is making a shitload of money not really doing anything right now. Peyton Manning. Yeah, so why would you stop doing that? Other names? Other

names. Lewis Riddick. I think I think he'd be pretty good at it. Yep. Not a splash though. Not a splash splash. Greg Olson, you know, get basically, I don't know, tight end. Yeah. In Jason Witton, and then replace him with a better looking Pro Bowl tight end in Greg Olson with more hair. Yes, real hair, real hair. I like yeah, I would like Greg Olson to the times that he's been on Fox. He's really good. Yes. So they might try to do that. Although I've heard that he wants to come back and play for the Panthers. But this is like a big, it's a big opportunity. Well, you can always retire from Monday Night Football and come back and play for the Panthers. That's true. Oh, how pissed off is Jason Witton going to be if he gets injured in like week two or three, which

he will. Greg Olson is up in the booth and he tries to take his old job back from Greg. Yes. Sorry, man. Yeah, not gonna happen. How about Kurt Warner? My favorite quarterback. Oh, not Kurt Warner. He's not my favorite. Well, Kurt Warner has been doing Monday Night Football for Westwood One. Yes. Kurt Warner would be fantastic. He could get in there. But he works for NFL Networks. I don't know how that works. He could get out. My favorite quarterback, Jay Cutler, who was rumored to be in the broadcast booth for no, he actually signed with Fox, I think, and then pulled a even more premature. Jason Witton went back to the Dolphins. Jay Cutler would be a splash. It would get people talking. Would he be a splash? Yes, because very Cavalieri

starting Sunday night. Okay. See, this is this is your Chicago Bears homers. I understand you love Jay Cutler. I think he would be the opposite of a splash. America would love Jay Cutler. They would. I'm not sure. And his apathy towards the game and everything. Just who gives a shit? Yeah, it's the Bills and the Dolphins. Fuck. Yes. Do I have to really announce this? But hold on. Like wouldn't you want a guy in the booth who just speaks to America and like, Hey, guess what? The Texans and Bengals are playing week 16. Neither team is in the playoff on this game. Fucking sucks. I'm Jay Cutler. Let's just cut to the chase. It has to be a cowboy of some sort, right? Yeah. Has to be Dallas Cowboy. Just put Jerry Jones in there. That's like that would

really tickle his fancy. That's what Jerry's after. He just wants the Cowboys to be the preeminent sports franchise in America. And so he puts all his little former players in these positions of power and influence. But if you put him directly in that booth, he'd be so excited. And I would love hearing Jerry Jones, like by the time the third quarter got around and he got halfway into his Johnny Walker blue, just slurring. Yep. Yeah, man, that would be that would be good television. Okay, I got one last name for you guys. And he is the hardest working man in all of showbiz. And he's already stretched too thin. So why not stretch him a little bit thinner? Stephen A. Smith. Throw Stephen A. Smith in there. Certainly knows a cowboy hat on him.

Let him be just Stephen A. Smith. He doesn't even have to be right. We should like have, we should all come together as America. We were divided country right now all come together and be like, look, we're going to put Stephen A. Smith on the Monday Night Football broadcast. No one can say anything when he screws up everyone's name and who's playing and basic facts. Well, let's just enjoy Stephen A. Smith. I like the idea of getting stretching him even thinner. Like what what would it be like if you said, okay, Stephen A. Smith, we will pay you $2 million a day for every day that you can stay awake 24 seven. Yeah, on a live stream, on a live stream, just talking about sports. How long do you think you would make it? Stephen

A. Smith. I think you could do two weeks. Yeah, Stephen A. Smith, you're going to be doing college football game day. Then you're going to do Sunday morning, Sunday countdown. Then you're going to be doing Monday Night Football. Then NHL draft. Yes. Yeah. And let's just see how far we can get Stephen A. Smith stretched. Yeah. Oh, I would, I would actually, I would truthfully love that. It's a good idea. We're throwing out free ideas. What about LeVar Ball? LeVar Ball would also be good. Is there any other like real names that have been tossed out there that we missed? Tebow? Tebow. I don't think so. Not good enough to be a pro. Tebow is probably a pro for Mets. So you're in half too late. Who else is the like, what other name is out there? I mean,

that's, that's really about it. I would like Randy Moss in there. Randy Moss would be good. He'd be decent in the booth. Yeah, for sure. Charles Woodson. Although I think he just got fired. So maybe not. No, he was just on my TV. Chris Berman. But then you, what if you just did Chris Berman, Joe Tessitor, and you brought back Shaughnessy and you just had three play-by-play guys all talking at the same time. You mean Shaughnessy, not Shaughnessy, Sean McDonough. Sean McDonough. Yeah. Just all play-by-play guys and put Beth Moans in there too. Yes. Just have them all talk at the exact same time. That would be okay. Who cares? I wonder how Monday Night Football would do if there was absolutely nobody talking. It was just crowd noise. Pretty good. Pretty good.

Also, you can throw out Bill Walton. Just put him in there. Put him in the mix. Let's get three different replay and like refereeing analysts too. Mike Pereira. Mike Pereira and the Italian guy with the shirts. Yeah, the other Mike Pereira. The guy that was on the, that was on the Cowboys Plus. Dean Blandina. There you go. Yep, exactly. The ultimate heel. All right. What else we got? Anything before, before we get to our interview with Pete Prisco? I just want to reiterate that Hank might be a rat. So something that we've got our eye on. Just, just, uh, actually been arrested. You're suspect. Yeah, but we're, I spent a night in jail, Pete. Yeah. So you got turned. That's what I'm saying. They questioned you

and they made you a little stool, a little stool pigeon. Hold on. But if I remember correctly, Hank, from everyone talking about your night in jail, they said that you really enjoyed it in there. Huh. So you were treated perfectly. Hank, take your shirt off. Take your shirt. I don't know why. Lift your shirt. Lift your shirt. Look at your little belly. All right. Let's get to, uh, we got Pete Prisco talking about combine that we're going to do a couple of segments. Then we have the long awaited, uh, airport review before we get to Pete Prisco. February isn't just about one super sized football game on Spotify. There's thousands of free sports podcasts that agonize over the pre seasons, off seasons and plain old regular seasons of nearly

every sport imaginable basketball, baseball, hockey, soccer, curling and even hurling. Yes, that's a real sport. Now it's so easy to stay updated with the latest trade rumors, predictions and scorching hot takes from some of your favorite games, biggest names. So take it one episode at a time and give 110% of your attention to the thousands of free sports podcasts on Spotify because the best offense is a good podcast. You can find part of my take on Spotify. So you basically you have your Spotify, you listen to part of my take every morning, then you can listen to your music. Spotify is the best. Do it right now. Listen to part of my take on Spotify. We also are brought to you by Squarespace, the best resource that you're going to find for creating your own beautiful

professional website is Squarespace. I know what you're thinking that sounds like it's hard to do and it's complicated, but it's not Squarespace. Squarespace has it nailed. They have developed a beautiful, easy to use drag and drop user interface with fantastic designer templates that allow you to create amazing websites quickly and easily showcase your work. And if you know how to do normal things on a computer like add a picture to an email, if you know how to move files around drag and drop stuff, you can create a fantastic website using Squarespace today. You can promote a physical or online business and that's an upcoming event or special project. It's beautiful. They also have powerful e commerce functionality to let you sell anything online.

They have new email campaign function functionality and you have the ability to customize the look, feel setting and products and more with just a few clicks. Everything is optimized for mobile right out of the box. It's basically all there for you on Squarespace, free and secure hosting, nothing to patch or upgrade ever and 24 seven award winning customer support. Why are you waiting ladies and gentlemen? I know you need a website. Go get one and make it yourself. And here's the best part. You can try that out for free. What? Yes, for free. You can try Squarespace out for free when you go to squarespace.com slash PMT for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code PMT to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Okay, here he is

Pete Prisco. Okay, we now welcome on our good friend Pete Prisco. You guys are annoying me with that. The clap off. Okay, we're done. Oh, okay, fine. Sorry. You are in our hotel room. You said it's creepy. Well, one of you guys is actually sleeping in. Yeah, right there last night. Yeah. Okay, it's just a little weird. He showered right around the corner. So Pete, you were I my credential to I am. So what's up? How are we doing? Everything's good. Combine. Yeah. Do you have any big meetings? Do you get who's like when you go to the combine you how many comments you've been to 20 something five. Okay, so explain the combine to the people listening at home right now like it essentially is just like a people watching situation and you trade secrets in your rub elbows

and that whole thing. Tell them that you got it down to explain it. You got to tell them a bunch. Well, yeah, the best stuff you get is at night. Let's put it that way. You get all the information at night all because the guys get a little lubed up and they tell you what's going on in the league. And and that's the bottom line. That's what it's been. It's always been that way. You know, this thing used to be where the crown plaza is over there. That's where it was like eight guys with writers would show up and the players would come down into the lobby and that's how they did interviews. Interesting. So where's the best place to get lubed up around here? Everybody goes to prime. Yeah, I'm I've heard prime prime 47 went there last year, drank Sean McVan of the table not to brag.

You drank him under the table. Oh yeah. Wow. I took I took his glass out of his face. What was he drinking was it was a vodka and soda that he wouldn't finish. He wouldn't shut up. I was like either finish a story or finish a drink. And he just kind of kept talking. I was like, okay, I'll finish a drink for you. What's your drink of choice? I can go anyway. I like a good man. How about just a beer? Yeah, I'm a beer. What do you do you fake drink during it so that you can remember all the facts? Well, the the drunk coaches tell you everything. Now, when I was younger, I probably came here and got annihilated a couple times. You were the other way. Yeah. Now, you know, I don't, I don't probably get to the point where I can't remember stuff.

Okay, serious question, though. So you're out on the town, you're, you're talking, you're hobnobbing with other people in the media, coaches, things like that. How much of what is said at the combine is said under the understanding like, Hey, this is just us kind of off the record. This is one time that we get to hang out and be peers with you guys and all that stuff versus how much of it is, you know, someone that you could actually report on. Yeah, I think they know it's they trust you. It's off the record. Now, how many people you think trust you a lot? No, try names. I don't trust you. You don't. You guys trust me. No, because you never did. Yeah, you know, let's do it with names. Name the people that trust you. No, I'm not going to do that.

I got a lot of I got a lot of guys who trust me. You got to you got to being around you build up trust. Now, if you burn somebody that gets around and you're the guy you can't trust anymore. Who have you ever burned anyone? No, never. No, no, I've written bad things or said bad things about guys and critical of them and what they've done. But no, as far as burning a source. No, has anyone burned you? No, where they like didn't tell you the truth or misled you to try to get there, you know, either whether it be a back in the day, Coughlin probably did that to me a couple times in Jackson. Yeah, you know, our wars between the two of us were legendary. And how is it now if you see him? Oh, he's very respectful. We're respectful of each other. I like I like the guy.

Yeah, I can see the hell of a guy. He was always a good man. He was a pain in the ass to cover. Yeah, what were your wars like when you would get into it with him back in Jacksonville? I'll give you a perfect example. They play they actually trained you guys might not remember this they trained in Stevens Point, Wisconsin the first season. Okay, it was he thought it would be cooler and he went up there. It was the hottest summer on record was like 110 every day. He beat the daylights out of it was his first team. He got all these expansion guys. And he wanted to weed him out. And later he told me that you know, that's why I did that. I go fine. So they're there for six weeks, beats the daylights out of them. I mean, just nonstop practice hitting everything.

They go play a preseason game in Miami. After about four and a half weeks, fly back to Stevens Point, even though they could have broke camp and gone to Jacksonville, play a preseason game in the Silver Dome. It's 110 in the Silver Dome because I had no air conditioning. So the players are dead. They get beat like 40 to nothing. So I go in there and every one of them comes up to me, Pete, we're dead. Our legs are dead. He killed us. So I write the story. I'm finally going home after six weeks. I fly home after the next day, go out with my brother. I was single then we all went we went out a bunch of us and had a blast hung over. I'm living with my brother get a knock on the door at six o'clock in the morning in my bedroom. My

brother's like, it's Coughlin. And I go, oh, you know, hurting. And he goes, you mother he's screaming fucker. What the fuck are you doing to me? I go, what are you talking about? He goes, you gave those players an excuse. You can never give them an excuse. And I go, Tom, do I call you at six o'clock in the morning at home? No. And I go, don't call me. Click. And I hung up on him. And then next time you saw him, it went, he would he would forget. Really? Yeah, he would let it go. I feel like with Coughlin, that's that's the thing where you stand up for yourself to him. Now he almost respects you a little bit more. It's like, okay, I can I can deal with this guy. Yes, that's exactly what he was. He was I mean, he was maniacal to the point. If I

always tell us kids one day, I'm going to write the ultimate Tom Coughlin book. When he goes in the hall of fame, they go, please don't because there are stories about him. The Mohawk story. I've told you that story. Yeah, yeah. There are many more. But and then the guys, you know, left there and tried to be him and they could never be him. It happens all the time. Yeah, it does happen. Do you think I saw Patricia yesterday, were you at the media when he had his little scally cap on? And no, but I saw I saw these trimmed up over off a fucking Shelby. Do you buy the stuff like when when people say like a coach maybe doesn't look professional, do you buy that that actually hurts them? No, trying to be you guys do a narrative about it trying to be who you're not

hurt you. Interesting. He's trying to if you try to be Bill Belichick, there's only one Bill Belichick, you can't be that guy. So if your team is practicing outside, when you have an indoor practice bubble, even though it's freezing outside and the players hate it, you're trying to be Belichick, you're not being Matt Patricia. Right. Right. Who you are. Yeah, but counterpoint, you're tough as hell if you practice outside. That's the great myth. Does that really make you tough to consider and they play inside? So my high school coach, that's the old school that my high school coach wouldn't let us have water. Yeah, what might do? Yeah, water makes you weak. You know, we used to do we used to feel we get one break for water. So we'd fill up or this is

so disgusting, we fill up our helmet and drink it out of the hole. But you all you wanted was water. You ever hear a swish and spit? So you get the sensation of water in your mouth, but then you spit it out because it makes you weak if you swallow it. No, that's just dumb. I drank out of the whole helmet. Yeah, that's not dumb. I used to just drink out of my friends. Yeah, some of the old Rydell helmets, you remember those? They had the bump, the little pads in them. They were terrible. Of course. So we're in Indy. What would you say is the big story of Combine Week this week? Calamari. Calamari's height. I felt like he sold us out because he's 5'10 instead of 5'9. What if he was 5'8 and a half? I wish he was 5'8 and a half. Undraftable.

Undraftable. Yeah. So but he's 5'10 and he's draftable. First round draft. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So an inch and a half. Yeah, you're changing your tune. Yep. The hand size nine and a half inches if he was under nine. Undraftable. Well, Drew Lockshand is nine. Is he undraftable? No, he's nine. He's not under nine. Nine is okay. Nine is okay. Okay. These are the rules that John Elway taught us. John Elway taught us. He's not a quarterback yet. If it's a tall statue, a quarterback, John Elway. So you don't buy any of this stuff? There's gotta be, here's my take on it. So it's, I think it's overblown, but there has to be a line somewhere. I'm with you. And if you have an eight inch hand, the chances are you're not going to be able to control the ball.

And if you are 5'7, the chances are right. No, but there has to be a line somewhere. So I get that it's ridiculous. Well, then we think the line was six foot. We poke fun at it all the time. But no, I think the game has obviously changed and evolved, but eventually there'll be a point where it's like this guy simply his hands are simply not picking up. Correct. If I told you a year ago, I say I got this kid, he hasn't started a game yet, but he's going to start and he's 5'10 and he weighs 195 pounds and he doesn't play well from the pocket, but he's going to be a high first round pick. You would have told me I was crazy, right? I would have said sounds like he's perfect outfielder for the Oakland. Right? Yeah. It's amazing how this game has changed. Think about

Charlie Ward, right? Would Charlie Ward be a first round pick now? Probably, yeah. Because he was a better player in college than Kyler Murray was. Right, right. So are you changing your opinion on Russell Wilson? Oh, I have, I told you. You have. You're a 5'11 truther? I'm a 5'11 truther. Wait, so you officially are cheating because you've had a long time more about Russell Wilson. Yes, and I told him, he came on our set and I said, look, I was wrong. I'm wrong about you. I can say what I'm wrong. Did you eat your column? Huh? Did you eat your column? I didn't eat it. There's a lot of, Pete wrote a lot of column. If I put hot sauce on it, I might eat the internet. Wait, so explain to me what would come to Jesus moment with Russell Wilson. Because he's become

a better player. He's become a better passer. Yeah. Look, he played with the top scoring defense and we're going back to that again. Top scoring defense in the league for five straight years. And so you go around and you ask around in the quarterbacks and I have done this. I said, would you rather have a big time receiver of the top scoring defense in the league? They'd all rather have the top scoring defense. Right. So he had advantages, but when the advantages went away, he improved his game. That's why I came around. Okay. Besides Kyler, who's the second biggest story? Now, what team do you think is making the biggest waves this week? Is it going to be like the Jets trying to trade away all the draft picks? Is it going

to be the Raiders having like too many draft picks that they're going to try to parlay into something? Do you see how many picks the Patriots have? Yeah, a lot. Well, they're about to get docked a bunch from because of Robert Kraft's hand job. They're not going to get a dock for that. Yeah, it's one pick per stroke. That's my understanding. Pete, you live in Florida. Yeah. What are you trying to say? Nothing. And what are you trying to say? I didn't say anything. I just said, Pete, you live in Florida. It's a statement of fact. I do live in Florida. Do you think that Belichick's going to do that thing where he packages a bunch of stuff together to try to move up? Or do you think he's going to try to move like keep moving back

and just amass like 25th round picks? I think he's going to move back again like he always does. Somebody told me this. Somebody in the league told me this. They said, I think Belichick enjoys the draft building part of the process now more than he does coaching. Which is weird, right? Yeah, that is because this was his best coaching job ever this past year. It's not the kill. It's the thrill of the chase. Right. Right. Interesting. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. So you got obviously like a bunch of players being asked all the weird questions. What's the weirdest question you've ever heard that's been asked besides obviously like asking Des Bryant if his mom was a prostitute? Well, that was inappropriate. Yes. Agreed.

What was the weirdest question? I mean, you know, the stupid thing if you're a cat or a dog. What are you? A cat or a dog. I'm a big cat. Oh, interesting. Right. Okay. I'm a killer cat. What's your favorite drink? Huh? What's your favorite drink? What? You mean alcoholic drink? We're doing a combine question thing. Oh, you are? Yeah. What's your favorite drink? Focotonic. Also, you have a booze problem. Interesting. You only have a couple. I only have a couple. Yeah. What else are you going to ask me? Go ahead. You can put it back on. Okay. Yeah, we'll do it. Yeah. Yeah. How many ping pong balls could fit in the 747? Who gives a shit? Oh, okay. Wow. I think you're smarter than this. Got an attitude problem.

I got an attitude problem. How many light posts are there in the island of Manhattan? Again, who gives a shit? Okay. So he really doesn't want to answer our questions. So I'll answer them. Okay. I guess. How tall are you? Five, six. Okay. Who do you hate the most in life? They don't really hate anybody. You should have said losing. No, I don't. You hate losing. No. That's the answer there. Because if I do my job well and the team loses, I'm okay with that. Really? That's a big red flag. If I'm not starting, I'm departing. If I'm not starting, I'm departing. Interesting. I don't like that. I don't like that. You don't like that attitude? Un-drapable. I joke around with my guys. I'm going to write a kid's book and title Chip and name

the guy Chip and he's going to play everything he does in life as a chip on his shoulder. So you know, the goofy kids get the participation trophies. Chip is throwing his damn trophies out the window. So it's real asshole. So like an Easter Sunday when they have an Easter egg hunt, and he's five years old, he's elbowing people to get out of the way. He's getting all the candy. So it's not that politically correct stuff. This is your autobiography? No, it's not my autobiography. Oh, okay. I think there's some truth in that. It actually sounds a lot like Jim Harbaugh. Yeah. Yeah. A little bit. You guys were that way. I know you, I know you were that, but both of you. There was an Easter egg hunt. You weren't sitting there going,

okay, I might get a piece of candy. I didn't hunt for Easter eggs. I was in church praying to Jesus the real reason for the season. Wow. You're right there, huh? So have you watched tape on all the quarterbacks in this draft? Most of them. Yeah. All right. So give us your, you know, top three. And maybe one guy that we don't see right now that we need to start talking about. Haskins is number one. But with that better than Kyler Murray. Better than Kyler Murray. Okay. Yeah. Clear cut, stand in the pocket, read the field quarterback. Can't beat Purdue. That's okay. Okay. There was, there was a lot of emotion in that game that day. So true. Oh, interesting. Yeah, that's true. So I look, he's the best quarterback.

I probably go drew lock number two. Wow. How about you lock by the way with his hands? I was at Mobile and I said, you know, your, your small hands are going to become a big issue. He said, yeah, I get it. I get it. I understand. He walked away and took two steps back and he goes, damn, Reno had small hands. I go, I love that. Right. That's awesome. And then he also gave the double finger guns and did they like wink it at the, at the reporters. That was at the senior bowl too. Yeah. I love that. Intangible stuff. Yeah. I like guys with an attitude. Yeah. I don't want a mealy mouth quarterback. I want a guy who's got an attitude. So drew lock two. And then, then Kyler Murray. Okay. Then Daniel Jones. Okay. And then any other, any other ones?

What about Will Greer? I like him. I don't love him. Why? I don't know how big that arm is. I don't know if that arm is good enough. The stitum kid was good last year, two years ago, and he was awful last year. So there's kind of like a mixed bag on him. How do you wait that when you're looking at tape? Like if someone, well team was worse, can you throw out a year? No, but his team was worse. Yeah. He wasn't, the team around them wasn't as good. Right. It's like, it's like Baker Mayfield was the best rookie quarterback last year, right? But he had the best surroundings around them. Look at what Josh Allen had in Buffalo. Yep. Look at what Darnold had with the Jets

and God forbid, look what Rosen had in Arizona. At the end of the year, his offensive line was the worst line I've ever seen in the history of this league. Yeah. It was terrible. So how do you evaluate those four guys? How'd you have them ranks? I had Allen won. That's our guy. I'm all over Josh Allen. I think he's the best. I think he's going to be the best of the group. Okay. What about on the defense side of the ball? We're all wrong about Blake Bortles too, by the way. No. His best years are ahead of him. Did he retire and we didn't know? No. Actually, as of yesterday, he's still the quarterback of the Jacksonville Jaguars for about another month. His key card still works. Yeah. That's

what he said. He told us that. Every morning, the key card, he goes into work out and that's what I'll know when it comes. Look, I'm with you. I love the guy. I think he's a great guy, but his time is up in Jacksonville. Yeah. No, it is. Yeah. What's his future? I want to hear what you guys think. I think he'll be a backup. I agree with you. I think he'll be the best backup in the NFL. He's going to be 10, 12 year backup and he's going to love every minute of it. Yeah. That's right. And I think he'll have one or two more moments where it's like Blake Bortles, like wins a game, comes in, and he'll be fun to be around. The teammates will love him and everything else. I agree. Yeah. So on the defensive side of the ball, are we going to get

two linebackers in the top 10? No. You don't think so? No. You might get the LSU kid. He has a name. Devin White. Yeah. That's it. You're not getting two. Does he really ride a horse around campus? So they say. That's pretty cool. You didn't do your research? No, I've never seen it. Would you upgrade him or downgrade him knowing that he rode a horse everywhere? Was that his only mode of transportation? Yes. Let's just say it is. You know, it's like, I'll go out and ride my bike and get a workout in on my bike. There's a big difference between me going out on my bike and riding my bike and the guy who's got transportation on his bike, right? Yeah. He's got a 12 pack under the thing. He just went to the store on his bike. That's all

he has. Uh-huh. There's a big difference. You keep bringing this back to alcohol. You seem like a guy. I guess you're not going to drive me. Yeah. You seem like a guy who wears like the wrist guards, the elbow pads, and the full bike helmet. Absolutely not. And you have that little flag out the back so that people can see. I do wear a helmet though. Yeah. Because I tumbled off the bike and I didn't wear a helmet. You seem like the type of guy who rides that stupid bike where you sit back. You're like sitting on a bike. I actually like the recombinant. I have a hybrid bike. Even worse. Bad boy. No, it's not a hybrid. It's in between the racing bike and the tires. You can ride on the sidewalk. You can do some wheelies with that because I don't ride on this.

You've got pegs? I'm not getting on the street. Do you have pegs on the wheels? How good is your bike lock? They always say buy a cheap bike and an expensive bike lock. No, I buy an expensive bike and I don't lock it. I just watch it. I stand with it all the time. Interesting. Yeah. He's a natural deterrent. You can steal his bike anytime you want. Just steal my bike. I'll go get an insurance claim and get a new one. Do you get an insurance claim on a bike? You can. Yeah. How much money is your bike? It's like 450 bucks or something like that. Cheap. Come on, Pete. Damn. You can do paperwork for that? Yeah. You bought a cheap bike and no lock for it.

That's what you did. It's not a $1,000 bike. Maybe it was $5,000, $6,000. That's not a bad way to do it. It's like if it goes, it goes. Yeah. It was meant to be if somebody steals it. Yeah. It's their problem. They got all, you know, down in Fort Lauderdale now they have all these scooters all over the place. You must hate those. I haven't got on one of them yet. Have you? Have you? Have you in Chicago? No. I was out in the California and I saw them. And you rode them around? I rode one on. It's fun. Do you ride it in the road? That's what I want to know. No. No.

People get in the bike lane with those things. That's like asking for it. Now we got problems. Right. Yeah. It's asking for it. Pete Prisco's road rage in the bike lane. My road rage. My road rage on 995 is second to nobody. I'm sure. And I promise you, sometimes I catch myself. I go, what am I doing? Moved out. Hey, old ladies driving in the lane. Move. You're going too slow. Move and you go around. I-95 in South Florida is like a racetrack. It's ridiculous. Tell us one last good combine story about being out, seeing a coach.

You don't have to use names if you want to. You're out late. Somebody makes a fool of themselves, maybe. Says something they shouldn't. Fists get thrown. Trying to say, I mean, back in the day before cell phones used to see a lot of stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who is the best drinker of coaches that have since retired so we don't out anyone who's currently a coach? All of them. Yeah. But give us one name. I mean, it's like they're on a gun over the prison wall when they get here.

Right. This is the time. Yeah. This is the place. Yeah. Yeah. But you know what? I'll say this though. Since cell phones and videos and pictures, it's gone. It's calmed down. Right. Nobody acts up the way they used to. Right. They just don't. Would guys, would coaches that had maybe their teams had like went through the wars during the season, would they get into each other's faces at the combine? No, but they used to see agents fight.

Oh, yeah. Nice. Yeah. There was an agent back in the day when they were using crown plaza over there, there was two agents going at it. One of them poached another guy's client and they started fighting right on the street. I love that. Yeah. I want to see something like that happen. It was Jay Moore versus Tom Cruise. Oh, shit. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. There you go.

There's your good wire. Yeah. I know Jay Moore. I knew it. You know it. Yeah. Show me the money. Yeah. Last question for me. How much stock do you actually put into the combine? Like overall. I don't put that much into it.

Just for the, you hear people put him on the board or interviews. The guy was an idiot and he came across like a psycho. We, you know, he left. We didn't like him in the room. He came in there. He sloughed in the seat. He was an idiot. That kind of stuff I do. Poster. But as far as, no, you know. Yeah. Like disinterested. Yeah. Right. Like this is your job interview. It's like you went on a job interview and you weren't interested

in it. That would look bad. Right. Right. So none of the, none of the measure rules, none of the like the times and everything like that. Like a 40 time. There are guys that run good 40 times who play slow. There are guys who don't run good 40 times who play fast. So it's, it's play speed. You got to get, you can't get all caught up in the 40 times. Right.

You know, like Antonio Brown's 40 time wasn't great. I don't think when he came here and look how fast he plays. What's your take on Antonio Brown? He blocked me on Twitter. What'd you say about it? He joined the, the two forces of Legion of Boom when they blocked me two, a couple years ago. Yeah. Why did he block you? Because I sent out a tweet saying that his yards per catch number went down from 15 ish

to 12. Which is facts. Right. And he blocked me. That's great. So what do you, do you think that it's worth the team to, to give up some stuff for Antonio Brown? What would you give, what would I give up for him? Yeah. The third round pick.

That's it. No more. I tend to agree with him. He quit. Yeah. He quit. He's a quitter. Let me say it again. He's a quitter. If I'm on his team and the Steelers players weren't happy about it, he quit on them. So do you want that in your building?

Plus he's squawking about new money, right? He wants guaranteed money. Which will happen again. Like he'll get a new contract. But he's not going to get traded right away and get a new contract. He thinks he's getting traded and getting a new contract. No, he's a free agent, is our understanding. He's incepted us into thinking that he's a free agent. He can pick wherever he wants to go.

Yeah. That's what I honestly think that he believes that. I think there might be something wrong with Antonio Brown. Well, I mean, he quit on his team for one. Yeah. I mean, what's your priority? What do you want to do? You're on a good team. You're making a lot of money and you want to get out of there. Why?

Right. Well, and you have a good quarterback. And where do you want to go? Right. Where's it going to end up? San Francisco? That's where everyone thinks. Washington. I thought Indianapolis would be a perfect destination for him.

But I don't think they're going to dabble in that. They don't want that in there. Yeah. Mr. Irrase doesn't tolerate distractions. Well, he does what the team does. Right. The problem is you got a good quarterback there who could handle him. If he goes to like, okay, I'll give you an example.

You guys love Josh Allen. He needs a receiver, right? But they're not going to put him with Josh Allen. They're just not going to do that. They're not going to put Sam Darnold with him. They're not going to put Rosen with him. So it limits the field where he's going. They don't want to trade him to an AFC team.

So where's he going? Right. So during the Combine Week, are there actual trade talks like that? Yes. They go down? Yes. Just because everybody's all in the same town together? You know what else is going down?

Free agency. You're not supposed to start until two weeks from today. They're making deals right now. Ooh. Wait. No. No. Yes.

I just don't say that. Pete, the league year hasn't started yet. I know. But they're making deals already. Look, they used to go to the Pro Bowl when it was in Hawaii. All the agents would go and some of the GMs and guys would go and they'd make deals in Hawaii in January. They'd make those deals already.

You know what I figured out? Indianapolis is basically, it's just like, this is spring break for all these coaches and scouts that have families and they can't be like, hey, honey, I'm going down to Miami. They're just like, I'm going to go to Indy and get slam drunk for a week. Don't have to get in the car.

Don't have to get in the car. Yeah, it's true. Stay inside. You can walk in these tunnels. Well, you know, wasn't there the one guy, one year, the guy got caught peeing on the side of the road? On the street. Todd Healy?

No, he's here. No, he's definitely Todd. No, it was a Rams assistant. He got caught. He got arrested. He got cited. It seems like Rob Ryan. Yeah.

No, it was a Rams assistant. Jim Haslett. Jim Haslett would probably have gotten a little more trouble than that. I love Jim Haslett. He's one of my favorite guys. He was taking a shit next to the guy that was peeing. Probably.

Yeah, probably. All right. Pete Prisco, always fun. It's fun with you guys, always. Yeah. Do you still creeped out by this room? No. Oh, the Seat Geek question.

I need a Seat Geek question. Promo Code Take, $10 off. OK. Seat Geek. Would you trade, is the Jay Glazer report that Odell's on the block? True or false? Well, Jay's good.

So I'm sure he has somebody that told him that. But if you look at that cap, the way they, you give a guy a new contract and then you're going to trade him and they have to let money accelerate, I don't see how it happens. OK. All right. So he's going to end up, and do you think the Giants

will take Dwayne Haskins? They passed on quarterbacks last year. So maybe. Good answer. That was the worst answer. Good answer. OK. Thanks.

I don't think he's going to be there when they pick. Did Eli get better this season? Eli didn't play that bad last year. Oh, my God. He did not. Oh, my God. He did not. Oh, my God.

Dude, sir. The team shot. His line was awful. He's gotten to you, too. They paid Nate's shoulder billions of dollars to be a spinning cop. How much money does Archie Manning pay you per week? Do you know what just happened, PFT?

You know, like, when, like, if you're significant others, like, hey, oh, this guy's attractive, and it's a really ugly person, you're like, what the hell? Like, why? When Pete says that Josh Allen and Blake Bortles are great, and then in the same sentence as Eli Manning didn't play so bad, we're like, fuck. This guy doesn't know what he's talking about.

He didn't play that poorly last year. All right, Pete. He did not. He did. That team's terrible. He self-sacks himself, like, every other snap. He's got guys all around him all the time. No, he doesn't.

Pete, you know of everyone. And he's got no reason. When Beckham got hurt, he had nothing. You used to make the same thing about Russell Wilson. He did not. There were throws to be made, and he would not make him, because he would sacrifice. Did I say he was good?

I said he didn't play as poorly as you guys are protruding. How do you know how poorly we think he played? Yeah, we can say. Because I could just tell by the tone. No. Yeah, I could tell by the tone. Well, you're right. You happen to be right, but not because you were right.

No, I was right because I could tell by the tone. OK, well, the conclusion Eli Manning sucks, and they're going to draft Wayne Haskins. They should draft a quarterback. Also, I saw John Gruden mimicking a quarterback's motion in the Starbucks line today. Do you think the Raiders are going to draft a quarterback? No, I think they got to draft defense defense.

But did you hear the part about the Starbucks line? Yeah, so what was he doing? He was going like this. No, I swear to God, he was talking to, I don't know, who was probably someone. He also was wearing Raiders stuff. And he was going at 8.45 in the morning on the Starbucks line. Well, maybe he was saying it was a negative.

That's why we're not drafting a quarterback. I don't know. I don't know. That's a good point is they're evaluating a quarterback. You always evaluate it. Yeah, but he's confirmed the Raiders are evaluating a quarterback.

By him doing a motion, he confirmed it. Yes, absolutely. He's a little nugget. You go ahead and write your little column. I like your nugget. You're a little column. That's a good nugget. All right, Peter.

See, that's why you guys are out and about. You're at Starbucks getting nuggets. I like it. Exactly. This has been Pete Prisco, Florida resident. We'll say it again. Florida resident. South Florida resident.

And also someone who's had back pain in the past. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Florida resident with back pain, Pete Prisco. Oh, my last question. You've had back pain? No. You've had some treatment done.

Yeah. My very, you said that you can't lift heavy anymore. No, I don't. So yeah, but that's because like what, the structural issue? You should maybe get that checked out. What are you saying? I should go. You probably already know.

Where should I go? No. Right now, right now Pete's handing me a coupon card that he's got from Oregon's Day Spa. He's got 11 out of 12 punches. Is it 13th? 13th nut always on the house. One away for free.

You two are demented. All right, Pete, take your card back. Here you go. That interview with Pete Prisco is brought to you guys by Stitch Fix. Stitch Fix is an online personal styling service. It finds and delivers clothes right to your doorstep. It's got shoes, accessories.

They fit your body, your budget, and your lifestyle. If you go to stitchfix.com slash PMT and tell them your sizes, what styles you like, and how much you want to spend on each item, you're going to be paired with your very own personal stylist who handpicks items to send directly to your door. Then you try them on. You pay for only what you love and you return the rest.

Shipping, exchanges, and returns are always free. There's no subscription required. You can sign up to receive scheduled shipments or get your fix whenever you want. Your styling fee is only 20 bucks, which is applied toward anything that you keep from your shipment. It's great.

You have your own personal stylist. And if you keep any of the stuff that they send, it's essentially they're working for free. 20 bucks of that styling fee goes directly toward anything you keep from your shipment. And again, returns are always super easy. Anything that you don't like, the shipping, the exchanges, everything about the returns, always free.

Get started now at stitchfix.com slash PMT. And you get an extra 25% off when you keep all the items in your box. That's stitchfix.com slash PMT to get started today, stitchfix.com slash PMT. The interview is also brought to you by Dollar Shave Club. I love that Dollar Shave Club has everything I need to look, feel, and smell my best.

What I love even more is the fact I never have to go to a store. That's because, one, Dollar Shave Club delivers everything I need right to my door. And two, they keep me fully stocked on what I use so I don't run out. Here's how it works. Dollar Shave Club has everything you need to get ready,

no matter what you're getting ready for. They have you covered head to toe for your hair, your skin, your face. You name it, they have it. And they have this new program where they automatically keep you stocked up on the products that you use. You determine what you want, when you want it, and it shows up right at your door from once a month

to once every six months. That's what I do for Dollar Shave Club's toothpaste. I don't have to worry about going to the store to buy it. Never have to worry about running out. You know that pain in the ass feeling that you get when you're down to the end of that tube. You're trying to squeeze out that last bit of toothpaste and you're not sure if you can make it.

And just a little bit comes out. Don't have to worry about that if you've got Dollar Shave Club because they can schedule it out for you so you never run out of the stuff. Plus, with their handsome discount, the more you buy, the more you save. And right now, they've got a bunch of starter sets that you can try for just five bucks,

like their oral care kit. After that, three stock box, ships, regular sized products at regular prices. So what are you waiting for? Get your starter set for just five bucks right now at dollarshaveclub.com slash PMT. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash PMT. Okay, let's get to some segments.

We're gonna do a couple quick segments and we're gonna get to the long-awaited airport review. It took three years. Three years to the day that we said we were gonna give you an airport review. You know what, the psychologist told us. Yeah. Like set attainable goals for yourself.

And we did. So let this be a lesson to everybody just because we don't follow through on things immediately. Good things come to those who wait. We're gonna get around to it. We're gonna get around to it. We did the SpongeBob. We watched an episode of SpongeBob.

We're doing it. You know what that means, then? We're already one-eighth done with Playmakers. We're gonna join a cult. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, we are. We're gonna join a cult. We're gonna do it.

Okay, first up we have... Anybody out there knows a good cult. Yeah. Slide into the DMs. So Bryce is right. So the other big news of the day, Bryce Harper has finally, finally signed and it's with the team we all thought he was gonna sign with.

The Philadelphia Phillies. We reported this a month ago. Yeah. As a matter of fact. I guess Kevin Millar also predicted this on part of my take two years ago. Two years ago. How about that?

So he is playing in a team with pinstripes. Yep. Which we also said four years ago. Yep. And East Coast team with pinstripes. So we nailed that one too. And he signs a $330 million contract, 13 years, largest contract in protein sports history.

That's him. Bryce Harper. Did you adjust for inflation? $330 million. Giancarlo Stanton number two, 325. Manny Machado 300. And then A-Rod 275 and 252. Not to brag.

So, oh, we had the reveal. Oh, great. I love this. Yeah. The adjusted for inflation. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. The Revell $44,929 that Bryce Harper will get per plate appearance.

That's pretty good. $156,000 per game. So Bryce Harper has finally done it. You're bearing the lead on that Revell stat, though. What? It was that he put out the ultimate perspective on us. You ready for this? Yeah.

At $330 million over 13 years, Bryce Harper makes more than the annual median household income of Philadelphia every time he steps to the plate. $44,929, what Harper makes for every plate appearance based on career averages. $41,500 annual median household income of Philadelphia. I have a prediction. I think that the city of Philadelphia

is going to turn on Bryce Harper within five years. Give it four, actually. I can't think that far ahead in the future. Yeah. Well, it's like scheduling bull games or scheduling out-of-conference games between like Alabama and Notre Dame in 2027. I think that given Bryce's history,

he's such a streaky player. He's a little bit. He's got a little bit of an attitude sometimes. He's a very good player. But when you're making this kind of money, there's a big, big target on your back. So what does turn mean? I think they're not going to like him.

I think that I don't think that. I mean, Philadelphia fans don't really like anyone. Yeah, which is part of the reason why I think they're a great sports town. Right. Like, they demand a lot out of you. But it's already happened. They need to.

The clarification of don't like in Philadelphia has to be very clear because it's like, don't like throw eggs at his house. Right. It should be that. If they don't. If somebody doesn't like you in Philadelphia, that actually means that they love you.

Right. It's a very much a slide and a scale. Like if they're, if they try to kill you, it means that you're one of their favorite people. Correct. Because they wouldn't care that much about you. Right. If they puke on you,

that means you're very close to getting married to them. Exactly. That's an engagement ring in Philadelphia. He's just taking a dump on somebody's chest. So we, we mentioned the, you just mentioned the perspective, which leads us perfectly to the take quake of all take quakes about this Bryce Harper signing

Sam Karchiti, whose broad street bull is his, he's verified. I don't know what he does. He said Wayne Simmons. Don't verify anybody though. You're a warrior. Had tears in his eyes when he left Philadelphia.

Bryce Harper mercenary has dollar signs in his eyes as he considers Philadelphia. Hashtag flyers, hashtag Phillies. It's actually disgusting that Bryce Harper wants to get paid. Insane. Be playing a kids game. Yeah. Great.

I love this. This is a very rare hockey versus baseball comparison. You know, you don't usually get the hockey and basketball, you know, me first versus guys who are all team guys. Now you get the baseball. It's, it's rarely done, but I think you pulled it off. You never see a hockey player bat flip.

Yeah. And yeah. True. Yes. Never. Hardly ever. Hardly ever. Will you see that?

The Carolina Hurricanes do this thing where they, like after they win a game, they all just get out there and they pretend to, they mimic baseball and they bat, literally bat flip. You lost everybody when you said Carolina Hurricanes. That's like, that's radio poison. It literally happened. To say that.

Well, sorry. The AAF owner, his team. His team. Okay. Now I'm interested. The football guys, hockey team. Yes. I want to just say I really did think he was going to sign

with the Cubs because his dog's name was Wrigley. Yeah. They had you. They had you going. Change your dog's name, Bryce. I don't want it named Wrigley anymore. But here's the thing. I want it named, what is it, PNC Parker?

I want it named Snowballs at Santa Claus. Yeah. I don't know. What is the name of the park? The link. The link. That's the link. Link and financial.

I want it named. Pat and Gino. No, it's Citizens Bank. You got to talk in the mic. I know. Talk in the mic, Billy. Hey, Citizens Bank? Citizens Bank.

I want your dog's name to be Citizens Bank. What's the name of that bar that's in between all the places? What's it like? Verizon Center. No, it's a Xfinity Live. Xfinity Live. I want your dog's name Xfinity Live. Xfinity Live.

I want your first child. It's your dog named Xfinity Live. Yes. You fucking asshole. Here's the thing, though. All seriousness, I think anybody that signs a contract this big in baseball, you're kind of asking for the wrath of whatever city that you're in, which is why Machado was smart to do it in a city where nobody gives a shit.

Yeah. Where you're going to fly under the radar making $300 million in San Diego. But there's no one player in baseball in the history of the sport that's worth this much money. Like the fans are going to... Well, I guess the market dictates that you are worth this much? Yes. But it's still going to put a huge target on you for the fans.

Like, you can only... What's the war for Bryce Harper? How many more wins is he going to contribute to the Phillies? But probably like 10. Again, he's 26. So like that was the whole thing with the Manny Machado and Bryce Harper. Teams that were saying, well, we can't afford him. It's like, dude, he's 26.

You get him for his entire prime. It's not Albert Pujo signing a deal when he's already passed his prime. I think it'll be a fine deal. Like, I don't know. I don't know what the opt-outs are and all that shit. But you signed, especially the Phillies, with how they built their team. And they're going to be like coming up here now. Like they have a pretty good team, scrappy team.

They've built some good talent. They were in the race last year. I think this is like, you make this every single time and deal with it later. Yeah. You're thinking about... You're thinking about 11 years down the line. Who cares about 11 years? Here's a spicy take.

I think that Mormons, they say that their players are younger than they really are. Kind of like some of the Latin American countries that have gotten in trouble recently. I think Bryce Harper is actually 30 years old. And the Mormon Church has kept it indoors. I have no problem when you sign a guy for this long, when you get all of his prime. Like literally all of it. You get 26 till 34. Again, he's 30.

And you're fine. So yeah, the last two years, three years, who cares? I also don't trust the fact that he doesn't drink at all. Yeah. Like somebody handing somebody $330 million who has no vices. Oh, they'll find some vices. They will find their vices. I don't know what it's going to be, but you're not going to like it.

Adopt this shitload of dogs in name after all the rockin' movies. Different bars around Philly. All right. Next up, we have Trouble in Paradise. Hank. Go ahead. All of your teams. I'm good.

I'm doing great. You've lost the Virginia Tech. Oh man. The Celtics haven't won in like four weeks. That's tough. Kyrie Irving's a meme. What are you... No, give me a real thought on the Celtics right now.

Celtics are a complete dumpster fire. They... I don't really have any championship spin zones. I don't really have anything optimistic to say about them. I'm kind of just hoping that it's like one of those things where they're just going through the motions in the regular season and then once the playoffs start, they might like snap out of it. But that's not really how championship teams work.

Like you don't just start playing championship basketball in playoffs. So... It's also like one of those... And Kyrie's clearly like, he's done with it all. He's wild. It's a classic situation where if you know Kyrie Irving is one of the top 10 best players in the NBA. You know that having him on your team is better.

But they've lost the last six games that he's played. It's an issue. And it's like, what? Huh? How does that make sense? So it's... I love when that happens. And people say like... People say Brad Stevens, he's like...

Yep. It's starting to come around the other way. Or it's like he's good when he's coaching young players, but once it's like a established team, that's, you know... He can't control the veterans. Maybe he's changing contender. Damn. Some of the lusters rubbing off on him.

Damn. Coaching for his job. Brad Stevens to Indiana. Hank, would you rather have Brad Stevens or LeBron now? Hmm. Still take Brad Stevens. Okay. All right.

Last up, before we get to our airport review, we have a new segment. New segment on our Hank. Do the noise. It changes me. I got to stay consistent. I can't change the noise. That's true.

I thought it was like... Sounds like a rat. Okay. So we have Real Men a Genius. If you don't remember, there was a commercial series. When was it? Like, early aughts? Yeah, mid 2000s.

What was it for? It's for Bud Light. Bud Light, Real Men a Genius. Yeah, it was like two guys singing along to a song about real guys that invented cool stuff. It used to be called Real American Heroes, but then 9-Eleven happened and they changed it. Shit.

And it was no long... Yeah, those fucking terrorists took our Bud Light commercial away from us. Yeah. So we're bringing back Real Men a Genius. You want to give it a shot? Let's give it a shot. Okay. Real Men a Genius.

Mr. North Tonawanda man who started over the top Super Bowl squares pool. And was not able to afford all the payouts that he had promised everybody that entered into his Super Bowl squares pool. And was stuck with $44,000 that he was not able to pay off and faked his own kidnapping so he wouldn't have to pay out all the winners of the pool. Faked his own kidnapping so he wouldn't have to pay out

all the players of his pool. Real Men a Genius. That was terrible. I'm happy that we're giving you airport reviews because that fucking sucked. Do you agree? So this guy... And you're going to say, today we salute you.

Yeah, today we salute you. I don't even know how to... We fucking... That sucked. That was so bad. I'm sorry, guys. But the bottom line is this dude, he started a Super Bowl squares pool, right? And promised that there was going to be a $50,000 payout.

Yep. And only got $16,000 with the cash. So he was on the hook for $34,000 to pay out. He made fake names to fill out the rest of the squares. Thinking if I give myself the zeros and the sevens and the fours, I'll be set. And he got fucked. Three three. And so he didn't win the pool and then kidnapped himself to say that he...

What'd he say? He said that someone kidnapped him and stole $16,000. So what he did, he spun it around and said that he won a Super Bowl squares pool. And once... He technically did. And then somebody kidnapped him to try to steal his winnings. So he duct taped himself and tied himself up with rope and put him in the back of his own truck, I think.

Which, okay, here's the thing. Trucks have open beds to them. So they're not... You're not really hidden if you're in the back of your own truck. Like maybe do it in a car next time. Yeah. Like something that you can actually slam shut on yourself. Just to swallow it in yourself.

Yeah, he swallowed it himself. Just wiggling around in the truck bed of like an F-150, like a wounded deer. And it was in like the middle of the afternoon so the cops found him. And yeah, he had a rope tied around his neck. I don't hate the move. Like if you... You got to panic. Yeah.

You got to do something. You faked an entire Super Bowl pool. And now you got to figure out a move out. Just kidnap yourself. Not a bad play. I mean, it sucks now. But I'd probably rather go to jail than have a bunch of people be like, where the fuck is my money?

That's a good point. Yeah. Because they can't get to you in jail. Correct. No murderers in there. Real man of genius. For sure. Mr. Man who started over the top Super Bowl pool was found with rope around his neck

in the back of his own F-150 truck in the middle of the day. In the middle of the day, real man genius. That was great. That was terrible. The story was cool. But the framing of it by us was F minus. Okay. But we have something to redeem ourselves.

Three year anniversary. I cannot believe it's been three years, boys. We're doing it. It's nuts. It's been a wild ride. We're not going to get emotional. We are just going to give you an airport review and 50% off the Barstool Sports Store.

Pardon my take here. PFT, you ready for this? I am. Do you want to do it? You said I love you with you. I did. I said, okay. So yeah, I made sure to wrap it up.

So this will be the end of the show. We will see everyone Monday. John Harbaugh, awesome interview coming on Monday. Okay. Welcome. Hold on, PFT. Let's do a quick intro real quick. So this is...

We are in the Indianapolis airport right now. Now we just got off the flight. Hank is under the influence of narcotics after oral surgery. And we actually... Wait, hold on. Hold on. We got to like, let's do... This is the first airport.

I thought it was a pretty good... This is a big moment. This is a big moment. This is the first airport review we've ever done. Yep. And we just landed and it's like, this is... Are you nervous? No, not at all.

We're in the Indianapolis. You know why I'm not nervous? Because we had a delightful pair of flight attendants on that plane. And they took special care of Big Cat and I, and they actually want to talk to us. So I think it'd probably be a good place to start asking them what their opinion of the Indianapolis airport is. So let's go talk with them.

Okay, Hank. Go on. We're not cutting any of this. So just make sure... This is it. Okay, we're here with our two flight attendants from... Our trip from LaGuardia to Indianapolis. We have Miss Tai.

Hi. And... Cynthia. Cynthia. Cynthia and Tai. So first question, how were we as... Passengers on your flight? Good question.

Hilarious. Hilarious and well-behaved, I heard. Yes. Hilarious and well-behaved. Okay. But more well-behaved. Okay, now between Dan and I, Big Cat and I, which one of the two of us do you think was a cooler passenger on your plane?

I love you both, but I'm going to have to say Big Cat. Yup, exactly. Didn't think that was going to happen, PFT. I don't know why you made it a competition. That's unfortunate. Do you... What is the proper... There's been a lot of debate in recent history.

Is it flight attendant? Is it stewardess? Is it flight assistant? I'm going to take this one. So it's flight attendant, not stewardess, because we're not there as your stewards to clean up after you. We're there to attend to you during an emergency. So it's flight attendant.

Get it right, y'all. It's not 1952 anymore. I noticed that you pulled a nice little trick at the start of the flight to get everybody's attention during the safety briefing. You held up a phone, you said somebody left their phone on the jetway. Now that I have your attention, I'm going to teach you guys how to be safe. What other cool tricks do you guys have that you like to pull on us? I have a few.

Tell yours, because yours are probably better than mine. Mine are mostly, you know, everybody loses things in the airport. So I tell them, oh, I found something in the jet bridge. Just give me a second and they're all waiting, baited breath. What am I going to pull out? And it's a safety card. That's good.

Okay, that's good. I would have fallen for that one. So when you came around and asked if everyone wanted stuff, you gave me a Diet Coke and I didn't take out my tray. And you saw me just kind of raw dog the Diet Coke. Were you impressed by that move? Very impressed. I could tell it was very impressive.

There was this like awkward moment where Ty was like, is he going to just, is he just going to hold this cup and the Diet Coke? And I was like, fuck, yeah, I am. You went for it. Yep. You went for it. I was very surprised. Wouldn't you say it's like a little bit more of a baller move, though,

that I had a beer and Dan only had a Diet Coke? Well, it's not baller because I gave you a beer pre-departure and you didn't drink it. Oh, PFT keeps losing. I want an official attraction. Why do you mean this competition? I wanted on the record that I did drink the beer. I just didn't know that I had to open it and drink it before takeoff.

And then she confiscated my beer from me and then I couldn't get it back until that thing dinged at me above 10,000 feet. All right, last question. What's something that people just have no idea about the job of a flight attendant that you can give like a nugget that we just never, ever think of? Interesting thing, annoying thing, whatever it may be. Number one is we don't get paid until the door closes. So hello, hello, hello is free time.

Okay. And anytime we ask you to do anything, it's not because we're mad or we're being spiteful, it's for your safety. I don't want to ask you, but it's my job. That's it. At the end of the day, we all got jobs to do. We respect flight attendants on this show. That's a promise.

Also, how annoying is it when people jump up, when the flight ends, jump up and try to get their bags in front of other people? The worst. Yes, that's unplayed. Yes, it is. Where are you going? Where are you going? The door is not even open.

People need to realize we're all getting off the plane at the same time, no matter how fast you stand up. But I do like the round of applause that sometimes happens when the plane lands. That's kind of nice. Yeah. Final question. You guys are veterans of the scene. This is our very first airport review here in Indianapolis.

What do you guys rank the Indie airport? Scale one to 10. I would say it's number one in the nation. Whoa. Wow. That's it. That's strong. We picked a good place to start.

Start at the top. And you tie? I'd say maybe like 10 being the highest and one being the highest. We'll go. Well, she just ripped my scale to shreds and said just one overall. Yeah, she said number one overall. I'm just asking scale one to 10. All right.

If one's the lowest, I'm going to say like a... No, you said in the nation. I'm going to say five. Five. That's a rookie score. Okay. One flight. Everybody knows the rules.

All right. All right. Well, thank you, ladies. Appreciate it. It was a great flight, beautiful flight. And we appreciate you guys. And thanks for listening. Yeah.

Thanks for getting us here today. Thank you so much. Shout out to myself. Okay. Shout out to Cynthia's niece, Ashley West. That was awesome. That was great. Thank you guys.

All right. Thank you guys. All right. Here we go. I think we learned a lot. Here. Let's move over here, P.F. Okay.

Okay. Real quick. So we have... See ya, bye. So we're not going to cut any of this. So we are just outside of... What gate are we in? This is gate A1 through 5.

A... We're at A5. And we are now going to walk to our baggage claim. And we're going to give you a live review of the Indianapolis airport. We are dragging. So to paint a visual for everyone who's listening right now, Hank is walking behind us with the recorder. We have microphones in our hands.

We're going to... Someone's going to trip. We promise. Someone's going to trip. A little fun fact behind the scenes, a part of my take. It was at this very location right here that we found out that Barstow Ventile got picked up by ESPN. Yes.

So we're very happy, young, dumb, and full come. So here we're... Yeah, that's right. Hank puked on that flight. First stop we're going to make is actually the bathroom right across from the Harry and Izzy's. We can't bring the camera in. Yeah, let's leave our bags right here. So we're going to bring Hank in.

We'll be back for the camera. You go in the middle, Yernal. Bubba, just maybe do like an ambiance video tape thing. And then we'll put it into the show so like people can just kind of see it. Little pro tip. Here we go. Oh, sir, what's your name? I'm not going there.

Okay. What do you think? You got a jerked off, huh? No, I just think I hate Boston. I hate all of you. Oh, Boston. Okay. But what about Robert Kravitz?

The jerked-off thing? The what? The jerked-off thing? Yeah. He's being my jerked-off thing. You came to me and asked, what about Robert Kravitz? I said, you got jerked off. I think he is guilty.

Surely to God. Okay. Any relation to Bob Kravitz? Me? No. Do you work for the NFL? No. Okay.

What are you doing in town? I live here. I'm your zippers halfway there. Oh, yeah. I know. I'm about to go to the bathroom. Just hanging out in the airport? Just hanging out in the airport before we got to the bathroom.

Oh, yeah, we were walking. I do appreciate that you just stopped us and said, hey, what do you think about Bob Kravitz? Thank you, guys. I know who you guys are. Oh, thank you. And I just evolved. You know, it's so close.

I'm just not a fan of it. Okay. We appreciate it. You know what? That's why we love sports. Because I'm a Coles fan. And obviously, you guys beat the shit out of us too much. And that's why I don't like it.

Yeah, but you guys got that cool banner. The 2014 AFC finalists. That's a one of a kind. It's special. Yeah, that's tough. I don't think any other team has that, actually. We go to the Super Bowl as many times as you guys do. All right.

Thank you, Mr. Orsay. We got to go, Pete. You guys don't think you guys are actually cheap, do you? I mean, none of that. Well, let's take this into the bathroom. Yeah, would you like to join us in a conversation? We're going to use the bathroom. So, all right.

We only have... PFT, you use this. Hank's going to wait out here. I'm going to use that stall. I'm going to use the handicapped stall. I'll go over the top here. So, PFT, I'm actually using... All right.

So, quick review here. PFT, let me start. The handicapped stall has its own sink. That is nice. That's unbelievable. Mm-hmm. How's the flow in there? Okay, this non-handicapped stall is actually very spacious.

I would actually say that this non-handicapped stall is as spacious as most handicapped stalls. That's nice. Now, it doesn't have the amenities that yours does. No sink in here, but very large bowl. As you can see, I've been going for a while. I just got the flush. And it's still not close to being filled up yet.

I fit a lot of soup in here. My urine was very dark because it was a flight. And it actually... People don't realize when you fly because of the air... The altitude. Thank you, sir. The air, it sucks all the water out of your body. So, you get very dehydrated.

You've got to make sure you hydrate when you fly. Also, I would say that the best part about getting off of a plane is that first post-airplane fart that you have. For whatever reason, just the altitude sucks it all up in here. So, let's do a quick review. Dennis Robbins, good. So, let's do a quick review where we're standing in the bathroom. So, I thought my stall was fantastic.

Let me take a look at yours. It was spacious. See that extra sink? Why didn't you pee in the sink? The first one in the sink. That was a big mistake. Big mistake. I thought the hand washers were great.

Lack of urinals is a problem. There's only three. I feel like there's probably some clutter in here. It's a small airport, though. Here's where I rate my airport bathrooms. If you walk in and you don't have the overpowering smell of a shit right away, you're already like a good airport. Yeah, another thing that I noticed, I don't see any puddles.

So, a lot of times there are just puddles laying around these airport bathrooms. I don't see any here. I did, I was very, very impressed with the width of that bathroom. You really spread out even in the non-handicap stall, which is a nice trip. I think we should actually leave, because there actually now is a gentleman taking a poop. Yeah.

All right, you too. Leave us a fuck alone, man. That guy followed us in the bathroom and kept asking us questions. He almost accosted me with that zipper down. It was actually probably a sex crime. Okay. Okay, good. Let's go.

That Harry and Izzy's now has a good shrimp cocktail. That's the, oh yeah, they have the St. Elmo's cocktail. They have the St. Elmo's cocktail right there, which makes no sense when you think about it, right? I don't know. Why would St. Elmo's let Harry and Izzy do it? Because they're probably a sister restaurant. I would imagine.

That's the thing, wait, hold on. I have to figure out my hands here. Okay. All right, so we're going to walk. So now we got to follow to ground transportation. Overall, PFT, what would you give? The bathroom, are we talking scale one to 10? I would give it seven and a half.

Seven and a half. Now, something we should note is that it's 815 in Indianapolis. Everything is closed. Literally everything is closed. Well, we might find a Hudson News. Even the moving walkway has stopped. Flight to Ninja said, welcome to Indianapolis. Like that's the thing here.

Everything closes early. Yeah, which I'm okay with honestly. So I say we're walking away from where we need to go. Let's do one moving walkway and then go to the baggage. Okay, you going to do any tricks on it? Nope. I might pull a trick. Here's what really pisses me off.

People who get aggressive on the moving walkway. It fucking stops. What's the deal with the moving walkway? Hey, what's the deal with people on the moving walkway? But no, what's the deal with them? Why don't they build the entire airport out of moving walkways? How come the whole world? How come it's just like one stretch here?

So yeah, it is a ghost town. I think we were the last flight at 8. At 8.10 p.m., we were the last flight to come into Indianapolis. I like they run a lean operation though. Not a lot of overhead here. And also the fact that not too many flights land here mean that it's really clean. Here's a fun fact.

I think people messing it up. Here's a fun fact about the Indianapolis airport. I once bought a tin of dip here. I couldn't believe it. I really wanted a tin of dip and I found a store and they sold me a tin of skull and I was like, what the hell? You feel like that in an airport? I was just taking my shot.

Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, that's always a soft spot in my heart. Okay, so we're nearing the end of the moving walkway here. I know you can't see it if you're listening to the podcast. We're now outside gate 8.10. Looks like there's another steak restaurant there. That makes two steak restaurants in the Indian airport.

That's not a restaurant. Oh no, it's a steak burgers. Yeah, so it's a burger joint. So let's go backwards. So we're outside the Hoosier marketplace. We're going to get back on the moving walkway. Okay, let's walk this time. I'd rather not.

I know, but let's walk this time. Okay, hold on, hold on. We got to take in the, I'm going to just read this sign for the people at home. A catalytic state for life sciences. Indiana's vibrant and uniquely collaborative life science industry boasts statistics that rival coastal hubs of activity from pharmaceuticals to medical devices to-

I think that just means- I'm too far away now from the- I pass it on the moving walkway. All that sign meant is that they just experiment on people here. Yeah. You know those like- Save you a click. Would they like kill all those beagles?

Yeah, it's the island of Dr. Moreau. Fucked up, man. I don't like to think about that. IUPUI shout out, getting some shout outs here with some of the banner advertising. That's right. Looking forward to them seeing them as another 16 seed. But I like that.

I like that when you walk in like you got to Purdue University, you get the feel of like, hey, this is what it's about here. You know? We've got a South Bend chocolate company on the right. Now that place looks like it might be a decent place to eat if it wasn't closed. Yeah, some popcorn. Some electrician popcorn.

Some bonbons. Hand dispensers. Not sure what they are, but there's certainly a punch line in many comedic films. What do you think's the uniquely indie? That's the name of a store we're walking by right now. I think it's probably a bunch of indie shit. And carburetors.

I was going to say like a bunch of albums from bands that you've never heard of. Yeah. All right. So now we are going to walk towards the ground transportation. By the way, our bags might just not be there because we're. Yeah, we're taking our time. We're dilly-dallying.

Here's a real treat. We've got a couple of fast cars celebrating India's rich motorsports history. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Let's take this in real quick. Did you know that Indianapolis hosted the Pan-American Games

in August 1987? So there's the nice little glass memorabilia. Now this is what I came for. This is why you're flying to India right here. That's great for the people, PFTA. This is why you're flying to India. Check this out. You've got the Lund Curtis Offi Midget number 93.

Don't say that. Bleep that out. The M-Word number 93. During the phenomenal which short-lived popularity of M-Word car racing during the immediate post-World War II years. By far the most sought-after chassis engine combination was that of the Curtis Kraft chassis powered by the classic four cylinder. Vroom, vroom, baby.

Vroom, vroom. This thing is sweet. Yeah, it is. It's cool. Herbie fully loaded. Yeah, really wish I could be an M-Word car racer. All right. So nice view of A7 through A17.

That's about it. What's over here on the left? TSA. Now what do you reckon those designs are? It looks like a bunch of boomerangs or glass butterflies. Throwing knives? You see it's a throwing stick sir. You kiss it away and you defeat your enemies with it.

And then it boomerangs right back to your hand. Okay, so we're walking. There's an option to go to Concourse B or baggage claim. We're going to go to baggage claim. Concourse B sun's mighty tempting. But I think we're going to get our bags. Exit only. This is always a very thrilling part of an airport when you leave.

And it says you cannot come back. You step over the line. You're done. Does anyone ever come back? I'm getting a nod. It's a breach. What happens if someone walks out and then they try to just like randomly come right back past you?

It will be a breach and I have a call to the airport police to escort them out. Okay, well there's your answer. Thank you. Have a great night. So there it is, a breach. Okay, so it's interesting. That was from the woman at the door. It's interesting.

She looks like she was probably 85 years old and not going to stop anything. I don't see the line here. Usually they have like a red line. Yeah. The first trip. Hank is still a little bit doped up. Oh, that's okay. We can work with that.

Okay, so when you walk out of the airport, there's actually a ton of stuff. Yeah. In Indianapolis. So this is actually nice because you can access all this without having a flight. So you can come to the Indian airport and enjoy the McDonald's, the Chick-fil-A, the Brooks Brothers. Don't forget the Indy 500 grill. Without even having a flight.

Yeah. This is also nice PFC. I really like this because if you see this gentleman right, uh-oh. I think this guy here, he's got a barstool on his. Signed. We got a Kenoba. Is that for us? Okay.

NFL Combined Credentials. I think he's looking for us. $20 for Combined Credentials. What's up, man? Are you selling? Do you happen to know where I can buy NFL Combined Credentials for $20? I've got some here. I was going to have the, uh, you guys take a picture with them, but you know, I mean.

Yeah, we'll do it. Okay. Yeah. Let's do it. We're doing an airport review right now. What's your name? Carter Whitson. Carter Whitson.

I took a picture with my wife earlier. Oh. Oh, you're waiting for your wife. Okay. Super creeping on you, but in the same. There you are. Yeah. Hey.

She said, I even brought you a few beers. I didn't know Hank was with you or not. Yeah. Got a few beers. She tell you, I said, not, it wasn't creepy, but she was like, I'm on the same flight as you. Or I said, have a nice flight. And I was like, wait, you're on the same flight. Let's just hope we don't crash.

That's awkward whenever you tell like a flight attendant like, hey, you know, good luck on your next flight. Yeah. Or how about when you. Have a good time in India. Wait, you're leaving. Yeah. When you get dropped off at the airport and you, the cab driver says, have a nice flight. And you say, you too.

And then you're like, oh, wait. Do you realize you're part of, this is the first airport review ever. Pretty jacked up to be a part of it. Big, big time AWL. So you've got, you've got several posters here. What are the other ones there? You, what screwed up the second one. Okay.

Okay. That's okay. So let's take a picture. Let's take a picture and then also tell us who's got the, you get the camera. All right. Come on up in here. We're going to narrate the picture, the picture. All right.

So she's going, she's going vertical with the picture. Interesting. Yeah. Okay. Vertical orientation. That won't work on Instagram, but that's fine. We'll work with it. We need some credentials.

So, you know, I figure I could do what I could help my guys out. Do you actually have some? No. Okay. Shit. Well, I got some, I got some people that I know. You know a guy that knows any names. I'm not going to drop McVeigh and Shula's names, but.

Okay. Last question. How would you rate the Indianapolis airport? As far as your small airports go, can't find a better one. Okay. Very smooth. That's what we're hearing. Yeah.

Yeah. That's what we're hearing. I agree. There's one guy who tried to accost us outside of the bathroom. Well, you guys are used to that. And inside the bathroom. And inside. And he was old.

He was like 65. I think he was Jim Mercer. Name Bubba or Liam. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Oh, Jim Mercer, there you go. Yeah, exactly. I enjoy your time in India. Thank you.

It's nice to meet you, man. Yeah. Love you too. Love you guys. All right. Okay. That was fun. So that was, so that was actually a full circle we went there.

We, when we were waiting for the flight in LaGuardia, a woman, a nice young woman came up to us and was like, hey, huge fan. Me and my husband listened to you all the time. Can I take a picture? And that was the husband. Circle of life. And I did do the awkward thing. You just never know when you're like, hey, have a good flight.

Then you're like, oh wait, you're on the flight with me. So let's just, we don't. Check this out. Now we're doing another awkward thing where you say, like, buy to somebody. And then you walk the same direction as them. That's always a real treat. Back in middle school when you'd be like, all right. See you after the next class.

And then you end up walking in the same classroom. I'm good. Well, we'll drink when we get there. I would like to have hands. I'll take a beer. No, he did just turned on it. He just had an oral oral surgery. Take a knee, Hank.

Yeah. Take a chug, bro. What were you going to say, PFT? I already said it, but you were too far away. So you'll just have to listen back to the show to find out what I said. We have a TSA security person coming up on our Louis that's left in the Marine Corps. Okay, let's go. I just want to say for the record, that is one of the finer airport chick filets that I've

ever been to. Yes. And right next to a nature's table so you can get your smoothie. Feel good about yourself. Have a chick filet. Feel terrible about yourself and their statements on homosexuals. Yep. I mean, I just go there for the chicken.

Yeah. I just really like the chicken. Okay, this is going to be interesting how we're going to navigate this with all these cords, but we're going to try to take the escalators here. Okay. There are three escalators. Don't get stuck on this escalator like the Portland Trail Blazers. Two that go down, one that goes up, and a stairs that goes up, dot down.

I think probably sometimes they reverse course on the middle one depending on the traffic flow. So it's nice to have that option. See, like on the next one right across the way from us, they've got two going up and just the one going down. Oh, we just heard that the walkway is dynamite. Very excited to see the walkway now. We're going to find our bags. This might actually be a problem because we have checked bags.

I like that they really doll this place up for the combine, huh? Yeah. All the flair. We've got a Christian McCaffrey pillar over there. Oh, Lucas is coming home. That's great. Lucas is coming home. Where's Lucas coming home from?

Where's Lucas coming home from? Denver. Nice. I thought you were going to say Iraq or something, but he's just been in Denver for a while. Welcome Anastasia Beaverhousen. Let's go. Is that a new arrival? Yes.

Okay. Talking babies, folks. There we go. Okay. Rolling grace reference. Thanks, guys. All right. We're going this way.

PFT. My parents won't let me watch that because we're too busy dining at Chick-fil-A. I thought we were going to just get a fucking awesome military arrival? No. Lucas has just been chilling in Denver, getting fucking high as shit. Who's the Beaverton? Anastasia Beaverton? I don't know.

I don't watch that show either. Is it a new flame? Let's get the bags and we'll do the walkway and then one. Liam can hang with the bags. Do we know where we're going? Are these the bags? Oh, those are your bags. They usually look like our bags.

All right. So how we're going to end this is we're going to do, let's see. Let's go. Let's check out the walkway because that guy said the walkway was sick. He said the walkway was nice. The one wildcard at some of these airports is how long it takes you to get into an Uber. Yeah. Well, we got to re-rent the car.

Oh, we got the convertible? No, we did not get a convertible. All right. So we're going to, you stay with the bags, Liam. We'll just put in a place filler for people who are watching on Barstow Gold. All right. Let's go. Let's walk.

We'll finish the review. You can leave your bag. PFT. Both of them? Yeah. We'll just leave them right here with Liam. Okay. Liam, we're leaving all the bags with you.

Liam's going to have to take all the bags. No, we're coming back. We're going to literally do the walkway. Then we're going to come back. Okay. Let's go do the walkway. All right. We'll be right back.

Hey, check this out. Elite baggage. I wonder what passes for elite baggage. Is this person going to ask for a picture? Yeah. Okay. We're literally watching the video right now. Love it.

Yeah. What's up, man? What does elite baggage mean? I deliver luggage and whatnot. Okay. Yeah. I thought it was like really the stuff that, off the books. I actually got some questions for Big Cat here about last night's loss, honestly.

Wisconsin game? Yeah, that sucked. I don't really want to talk about it. We don't have to rub it in the losses. We don't have to rub all over time. Terrible loss. You can't give wins to those losers down there as far as the... Oh, you Purdue guy?

Oh, yeah. I'm watching them right now. No, they started. Actually, you're kind of messing me up. I'm watching. Okay. Okay. All right, we'll see.

We'll leave you be. Have a good one. The real unfortunate thing about people when they see Big Cat sometimes is they feel like they can come up to him and just make fun of all the losses that he has gambling. It happens every time. Which is tough because you already lost once. You don't need to have a guy to remind you. A common thing will be, hey, Big Cat, what are you betting on?

And then we have to sit there and I have to rattle through everything. And it takes way too long. But all right, so we're going to finish the review by going on this walkway. We've heard a lot about... We really only heard it from one person. The walkway of legends. All in all, PFT, I would say Indianapolis Airport is a delight. Very nice.

It's small. I wish that maybe it had one or two stores that were open that we could have checked out. But overall, I'd say like very, very solid. I think the flight attendant may have oversold it a little bit as calling it the number one airport in the country. Right. But so far, I mean, I'm thinking like an eight. Oh, look.

I just got eyes on this walkway. Look at these lights. Well, here's the thing, PFT. Now that we're actually doing this and we're going to start giving airport reviews to people, I think we... Oh, Hank doesn't want to do this anymore. Whoa. Hold on.

What's the matter, Hank? Chloe Breff, Chloe Breff, please come to your services. Chloe Breff. If you're listening to Chloe Breff, they're looking for you on Wednesday, February 27th, around 9 p.m. That's got to be a fake name. Okay, so I think when we do our next ones, we need to just have... There's got to be classes.

It's like MLB and AAA and double... This is a... Woo-hoo-hoo. Whoa. You see that? Right there. That was the sound of all these lights turning on. When you get on the walkway here, the lights follow you.

The lights follow you. This is simply incredible. It's like the piano from Big. I can't believe that we didn't bring Bubba with us. Yeah. He's going to really be big time FOMO. But either way, what I was going to say, PFT, is I think that we should do... We should have a situation where we have classes.

So this is a smaller airport. Okay, let's get some of this footage right here. This is what we're dealing with on the walkway. This is a smaller airport. Basically like a club. And then... I feel like I'm in Miami. And then we'll do the big airport class.

Your LAX is your old hares, your Dallas Fort Worth. You hear that, folks? It's going on. That's Indy. That's a wide, wonderful world of Indy. Okay, so yeah, I would call this like a mid-major. Yeah. Right.

So as far as the mid-majors go... This is like a... We're in... This is really good. This is like a Dayton or Davidson, maybe either in a Southern Illinois, possibly. One of those schools. You know, they could make noise. Yeah, they absolutely could.

But you're not going to probably win any tournaments. I would even say that you could... You could take a lady here for a night out on the town. You can. This is a datable airport. You don't need a ticket to get into the main airport. The main area where you can both look at Indy cars. They had a couple of those.

The M-word car? The M-word car. No, that was past the security. No, no. There's a woman who was 90 years old said you can't... I will have to check the tape. I believe it was inside. I guarantee you, Hank, back me up.

It was definitely inside the security. Hank doesn't know, Hank. He absolutely knows. All sorts of perked up right now. Once I saw that woman who was barely alive... Watch out on your right. Oh, sorry. Okay, she's fine.

She was in a rush, so I wanted to double check to make sure she was okay. You never know. So, yeah, what would you say? What are we doing for ranking scales? So, I feel like if we're going to go by class, then it has to be weighted a little bit. So, the LAXs of the world, the giant ones,

we'll put them on a scale of... How about we put them on a scale of... Let's make this as confusing as possible. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. The LAXs will be like grade scales in school. So, we'll be A through F. Okay. This will be 1 through 10.

Great. So, I'm going to give the Indy Airport a 7.3. Okay, which translates to C. C plus, C minus. Okay. C, C plus, C. But we're saving those for the big boys. I'm going to give this scale 1 to 10, 8.8.

Wow. You really were... Tell you what. I'm going to take off one little decimal point, because I would have liked to hear more music on the moving walkway, 8.7. So, that actually... That's a round number if you aggregate is round number 8.

I had a 7.3. You had an 8.7. There you go. And we give you an 8. We actually did that on purpose, because we're really bad at math. So, we had to make sure we did that. Okay, score.

All right. So, that will be our... That concludes our first airport review. And we're now in Minneapolis. This is actually the end of the Friday show. So, we will see everyone on Monday. Love you guys. Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up

Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up I'm gonna call an Uber, boop boop boop boop boop boop boop... UUB nawet C uub T uub t uub tau uub uub uub uub uub uub uub uub uub uub uub uub uub UUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB 1.

UUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB uUB 1. I'm gonna call it oopa oopa oopa oopa oopa I'm gonna call it oopa oopa oopa oopa oopa oopa oopa oopa oopa oopa oopa oopa oopa oopa oopa oopa oopa It's part of my tape presented by Barstool Sports.