Pardon My Take - Jerry Ferrara (Turtle From Entourage), Hard Knocks Finale, And Guys On Chicks

Episode Date: September 4, 2019

Hard Knocks season finale and the season was saved by Gruden. Luke Willson did us a sold even while getting cut. Zeke Watch and Jared Goff got paid. (2:35-17:33) Hot Seat/Cool Throne. (17:34-28:50) Jerry Ferrara aka Turtle from Entourage joins the show to talk about Entourage, New York sports fandom, e-gaming, and his pick up game. (31:41-1:09:04) Segments include Power Rankings of Pete Prisco's shitty power rankings, (1:14:32-1:20:21) Federer lost, Mike Wilbon name drop, (1:20:22-1:21:38) Thoughts and Prayers Chris Jericho,(1:21:39-1:23:45) and Guys on Chicks, is it ok to lock the door on your significant other while showering.(1:23:46-1:32:12) You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, add free on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, we have Jerry Ferrara. Turtle, turtle from entourage. Entourage, who doesn't love entourage? So we have turtle on from entourage

and we also have Hard Knocks recap. We have the season finale of Hard Knocks. We're gonna give it the final score on the ball. Hot seat, cool throne, Zeke Watch. We're gonna do some power rankings and guys on chicks. A nice, quick, tight show before football really starts on Thursday night. But wait, Big Cat football is back.

Not yet, no, I won't start, that'll be on Friday's show. And then on Monday's show again. Before we do all that, the Cash App. You know it, pardon my take is brought to you by the Cash App. The Cash App is the most powerful way to send, spend, and save. You already know the Cash App is the number one

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Now in the street there is violence and then a lot of stuff work is done. No place to hang out or wash in and then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock it down to feel it, straight guy brand new. And then we'll take it higher. Oh, we gonna rock it down

to feel it, straight guy brand new. It's part of my take, presented by BARSTULE. Welcome to part of my take, presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now, use code BARSTULE. You get $5 for free, $5 to ASPCA. Win-win, save some animals. Today is Wednesday, September 4th, and Luke Wilson is a hero.

It was great to see him on the show. It was tough to see him get cut. We kinda had an understanding that he was probably, the math didn't work out. He texted us after the show and was like, yeah, I'm probably gonna get cut. You gotta change the math. So make sure you get those shirts here fast.

Good news is he's getting a tryout with the Saints and we overnighted the shirts to him, so got a little product placement on Hard Knocks. Best looking cut player of all time? I'd say so, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Out of all the ones, him and, well, much better than Chad Johnson when he got cut.

That was a mess on Hard Knocks. So we had the Hard Knocks season finale. We will get to a final score. Oh, by the way, Luke Wilson also shout out to go out calling Tails and winning in the coin toss in Seattle. Tails never fails. It never fails because it rhymes.

Also, he had probably the quote of all Hard Knocks this year. It is what it is. It's not what it's not. It's not what it's not. So we had, basically the season finale of Hard Knocks was an encapsulation of the whole season where it was very boring, except for John Gruden. Gruden was awesome.

John Gruden giving the, like quizzing everyone where Danny Woodhead went to college, talking about dirty eyes in the backfield. Gotta have clean eyes back there. I want these Bob Costas pig eyes. Go East West. His old butt cheek eyes back here. Olivier Vernon, he said that he's so good

he eats glass and nails for breakfast. And just basically John Gruden being John Gruden. The best part by far was when John Gruden started getting involved in the quarterback drills to make sure that they were scrambling. So he lined up as like a defensive tackle, like a three technique. And he was just running at him, screaming letters.

And the way that John Gruden runs is so fucking funny. He runs like, he doesn't move his arms. He looks like a penguin in Antarctica when a scientist gets too close to his eggs. He just charges directly at him. It was so awesome. And squealing and like making little funny, like grunt noises that were just so perfect.

It was John Gruden at his absolute happiest. He probably won't be that happy for a long time. But I agree. If the NFL wants to combat any upstart leagues, just have a stream of John Gruden chasing quarterbacks. It was amazing. For hours upon hours. I'd watch that over most sports.

Honestly, I would listen to John Gruden just calling players by their numbers for about 30 minutes nonstop. Look at 33 there. Peterman's hurt. It's sick. He was so mad. Look at 45.

45, he'll put his head on you real quick. Dirty eyes. He's as close as a real football guy like John Gruden will ever get to stats or sabre metrics is just saying the numbers of a player's jersey. And counting back from three. Oh yeah, he's really good at that. And Antonio Bryant got the hard knocks bump.

Yes, he did. He looks like he's all the way back and it's gonna be unstoppable. Jumping out of a pool. The best way to get back for football training is to jump in inside of a pool. He had a stationary bike that was like bolted down to the bottom of his pool that he could work out with.

There's something about, I think it's because the regular population, 99.9% of us use pools to relax in and hang out and pee in. And then when athletes get in them and train, you're like, that is so badass. It's like they're training on the moon. That's actually a great point

because you look at some of the all-time Instagram workout warriors. James Harrison on a beach volleyball court, he's throwing medicine balls around. On a massage table, he's getting 200 needles jammed into his back for acupuncture. Yeah, they use. They take our culture of being lazy

and they turn it into a gym. Right, lifting couches and throwing them around the yard. And Antonio Brown, if all he needed to do was jump out of the pool, and I would have been like, this guy's the greatest wide receiver of all time. Yeah, and I mean, when John Gruden got really into Metallica playing in the morning,

he doesn't need a cup of coffee. He just needs a song from the black album to come on and he's good to go for the entire day. And it's actually kind of funny because when they were riding into work, they were listening to the radio and to me it feels almost like Metallica is too modern of a band for a football coach today too.

They're usually stuck like 30 years, whatever the coach that hired them the first time to be an assistant, whatever that guy listened to is usually what Bob Seager, the Eagles. Exactly, yeah. The Dan Campbell definitely watched that scene and wept quietly wherever he is right now.

He's like, that's what I'm talking about. That is my job. We finished the season perfectly though with a look forward and Mark Davis standing awkwardly in his dead father's office that nothing has changed, including the whiteboard. The whiteboard, Al Davis' keys to, I think it was drafting or putting together a football team.

A fast wide receiver. No, here we go, ready? This is what it said. One, power. Okay. Two, big people. Okay. Three, is this just not people he wants to fuck?

No, this is how you make a winning football team. Three, pass pro. Four, defense, so four, defense all the way to fourth. Five, play calling. Six, a quarterback that can hit the uprights from 50 yards out on his knees. Seven, spending the last 10 years looking like a walking member of Tales from the Crypt

and scaring everyone in every press conference. Eight, doing cocaine all night with Hunter S. Thompson and eating meatloaf all day with John Madden. Nine, birthing a fail son who wears white sunglasses and tux in his shirt and has an awesome haircut. I cleaned it up at the end. Okay, awesome haircut. And great taste in vans.

And great taste in vans. So yeah, the Las Vegas Raiders are coming. I get so excited when I see the construction of a new stadium. I don't know what it is, but those steel beams, it's just like, fuck, this is gonna be sick. And then it's gonna look exactly like every other stadium. Yeah, the time lapse porn on that is incredible.

Every time, is it Andrews' Silliano or is it Rich Eisen? One of those guys, whenever they fly into LA, they fly right over the new LA stadium and they take a picture of it every single time. Is their office gonna be? I never, like I will never look at another man's picture out of his own plane window.

That's just guy code. But when there's a stadium being built on the ground, I can't help but stop every time. Yes, it's fantastic to watch. So, Finalea Hard Knocks Balls. I'm giving it 2.8 balls on the five ball system. I'd say, I'd say 2.5. You're pretty close.

It wasn't very good. It wasn't that great. It was crude and saved it. I would've liked a little Mike Mayock. Yeah. We'd stand there with some of his Mayockisms. Mike Mayock refused to be on camera, basically. You notice that usually in Hard Knocks,

we get the awkward conversation where it's like, hey man, you did great things for us. If you need me to back you up, I will call every team and get you another job. And then the guy leaves and the general manager's like, who was that again? We didn't get that weird conversation. What I missed most about that is the standard issue

general manager cargo shorts that they give to everybody in the league. I remember Tannenbaum on the Jets had probably the best pair of cargo shorts that he would wear every single day. And they act so sad and they're like, you have a seat. Like, man, this was the hardest thing ever. It's like, no dude, that was cut number,

that was the 84th guy on the roster. He didn't even sniff the team. Yeah, and then they're always like, and if any other team needs a recommendation, we'll give you a great one. We got you. Despite the fact that we just cut you immediately. We have no tape of you.

And we actually, we didn't even know you were here. You literally didn't make the Raiders. So if the Patriots want to give you a sniff, we'll be sure to give them a high recommendation. Sure, sure. Yeah, it's tough because I don't want to talk about another man's job because there are some players that got cut that I think,

I think Brandon Marshall will play this year. I'm pretty sure Luke Wilson will play this year. Definitely will. Definitely will play this year. Try out the Saints. Yeah. We'll put a good word. That's right.

We'll give our guy down there a call about him. Yeah, it was definitely missing a little je ne sais quoi. Yeah. Hank. I would give it like three and a half balls. The Luke Wilson montage with the music and him wearing the shirt, walking out. Like that was a tear jerk.

That was enough to get you. It was gut-wrenching, yeah. It was good in an artistic way. I liked the hip-hop remix of the old NFL songs. That was good. Antonio played that the whole time. The Antonio Brown montage. I was like, oh my God, like he's going to be dominant.

Don't change our opinions. I thought it was pretty good. So it lands like somewhere around three-ish balls. Yeah, around three. How many balls for the season? That's what he said. That's what we're saying. Not just today's show, the whole season.

I gave it 2.8. Oh, I got three and a half. Three and a half, four. OK, so yeah, we landed somewhere around three because PFT went two and a half. So that's the ball system. I just needed, here's what I needed. I needed some Mike Mayock.

And the fact that they gave me about 10 minutes of a Grunin son that was not Deuce Grunin really pissed me off last week. And more Mark Davis. Mark Davis puts asses in the seats. That's a fact. Yeah, yeah, that's true. It's one way or the other, whether you're repulsed

or enthralled. You will watch. People will show up to look at. You will watch Mark Davis. His ass on a seat. Standing in an office. Just Mark Davis in a pair of white pants. Yeah, and he tucks in.

He does the thing where he tucks in his quick way to figure out if a guy's a total weirdo in head case. They tuck their thumbs into their jean pockets. Yeah. Like, look at it. If you're watching on barstoolgold.com slash PMT, sign up right now. This, like standing like this.

That's a fucking weird thing to do. That's pretty strange. Also, the guy that has, if we're going thumbs, the guy with the thumb hole cut out that he makes himself of his own sleeve. That's always kind of a weird move. All right, so that was hard knocks. We have, before we get to Hot Seat Cool Throne,

little Zeke Watch. Zeke Watch was on full effect in Dallas today. They had the people at the airport. They had a chopper following the car. Zeke, it seems like they're about to sign him. It seems like Jerry Jones is about to be like, hey, Zeke, I'll give you $10 million under the table if you just sign.

I am, I feel like, is this crazy to say, but anytime a guy, like he's gonna play on Sunday. Yeah, I'm pretty sure he will. Melvin Gordon, I don't think is going to unless they trade him. And like, I don't root for injuries, but I always would find it funny if Zeke signed for a shitload of money

and then even faked an injury. I'm sure he wouldn't be completely heartbroken if he got a brand new contract and then broke his foot. Yeah, he'd probably be okay with that long term. Yeah, so the Cowboys seem to be going with a strategy where they've signed Jalen Smith, they signed Lael Collins earlier, they signed to Marcus Lawrence,

this off season to a very long contract. Zach Martin, he had a huge extension. I think what Jerry Jones is doing by putting together all these extensions right now as the triplets are still waiting for theirs is he's doing the old, we got free donuts in the break room email. And so the last person to get in there

is gonna miss out on all the donuts. And so Ezekiel Elliott, so all these contracts coming in, he's like, I gotta get my ass out of Cabo and get into the break room until they eat the last bear claw. I also think Jerry Jones won the cap's gonna go up. And I think Jerry Jones has enough power that he can actually just make the cap go up.

Like he could go to the owners meeting and be like, hey guys, cap's going up because I need to sign everyone. To Jerry Jones, is Jerry Jones being so smart that he sees the future of football and it's gonna actually just be seven on seven? And so he's like, if I only pay nine guys, I'll be fine. It's a very fine line between Jerry Jones

being too smart and being too drunk. I don't know which side of the line he's on at this given moment. They're gonna pay nine guys like 90% of the cap. I think he's just hoping that nobody has the balls to call him out on a salary cap violation. Yes, slash he's just gonna pay everyone onto the table. He can just be like, you're doing some fuzzy math there.

Someone get Jerry Jones Bitcoin account. Oh yeah, well, yeah, they'll take a long time to explain to Jerry Jones with the Bitcoin situation. And then the other news, speaking of money and contracts, Jared Goff, our guy, Jared Goff got paid. So shout out, Jared Goff. We all have Cash App.

Why don't you spread the wealth, dude? Yeah, was it $110 million? I'm not trying to wallet peep on Jared Goff, but it is. And I'm not even trying to ask for a lot. Like I'm just asking for us. Like one game check. Not for us. $75,000 each. One million off the truck is, is nothing.

It's, don't even notice it. For the animals. They're still marking that for a full delivery. You own your house, Jared. You're fine. You've already paid that thing off. You could make the argument that maybe he would have only gotten $107 million guaranteed

if we weren't always telling Sean McFay with a good quarterback. What if he said, I'll give you guys that money in a house, but we have to move to LA? You can't go in the water. Deal, that deal is still on the table. If we, if you want to move to LA tomorrow, but you can never go into any water at all, we can do it.

Hank just did the, the Twitter question of fellas, which would you rather have a million dollars in a hot tub or get run over by a truck? Yeah. Tough question. Would I rather to get a free house in Southern California? Win the lottery. Or not have a free house?

Yeah. Was that, was that the question? Win the lottery. You have to fuck your mom. Go. Hmm. Tough call. Life's full of important choices.

Damn, I'll go lottery. Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm gonna go lottery. Hey, Jared, your favorite podcast. I'm not saying, but. Or, I mean, we could just give him some ideas that he could invest in, as opposed to just being like, give us money.

So. Or, here's where we should go. Follow along here, guys. What if we did like a court, you know, like when you go to a Final Four Super Bowl, the Eagles, which I already mentioned this podcast, that's two for the Eagles, they'll do a corporate show for like Chase

and it will be 300 people in a private place and they'll play a whole set. Jared, for $1 million, we will do a private part of my take for you. Yeah. Done. And we'll perform on DrinkPaint. Done.

Live in your backyard. How about that? How much money did you say? And an acoustic chalk. $1 million. Cash. An acoustic version of chalk. And you can't tell anyone that you gave us the cash

because I don't want to pay the taxes. No, it's all under the table, Jerry Jones' style. Yeah. I mean, or if you wanted to invest in our ideas, you live in LA, you could get boner dogs off the ground. How much money do you think you could invest in the Tumble franchise?

Yeah. Here's an app that you can invest in. I had just invented Uber, but for firefighters. So if you see a brush fire, just hit a button and somebody shows up and pisses on it. Yeah, we'll show up. How much money do you think Jared Goff could give us

before his account was like, yeah, I don't think so, man. Because that's really what it comes down to, right? It's like five to 10 million. I don't know if it's that, but it's definitely if you got 100,000 each, right? Like I'm trying to get the bar low here. No account is like, hey, Jared,

what's that 300,000 preach out of the deal? Hold on, dude. Hold on. You don't want $100,000 cash? Yeah, but they start high. No one, we already started high. Now we're going, now we're settling. Like we're gonna, we'll just settle for that.

$100,000 cash. That's fine. That's fine. How hilarious would it be? Seriously, if like we woke up tomorrow, ha ha, and all three of us had $100,000. That would be such a good drink, Jared. Oh God.

Oh man, you're getting us so good. You're good, dude. You're so funny. That's crazy. All right, let's do hot seat, cool throne and get the turtle. My hot seat is Mets. Wait real quick. He has to get a better Tesla than Blake, right?

That's gotta be his next move, like the one step up from Blake Kess. Yes, he does, he does. Hot seat Mets. They are basically their seasons over. They blew a seven run lead in the ninth. Seven runs, including a three run walk off home run to Nationals.

To who? To Nationals. Is Natitude back? I think so. I feel like this is- The place was rocking all 20 people that were there. I've watched three Nats games in the last three and a half weeks.

There you go. And now I'm about to start. I think Natitude's back, guys. The Mets, it might be because of who we work with and everything. I've been rooting for the Mets because obviously the Red Sox are out of it. I hate the Yankees and I'm in New York

and so they're always on TV and it's like, oh, like if the Mets are good, it'd be fun to watch and they just cannot seem to put it together. And now it's clearly over. Yeah, but my timeline, there's something about the Mets losing. The meltdowns are so, I mean, Frank, the tank was, yeah, that was something awesome.

I thought he was gonna- Kevin always melting down like Clem. All these guys, and it's probably just because I know them so well, but their meltdowns are just, they're on a different level. And they always know what's coming too. Yes, they always know what's coming.

You know what I think is part of it is Mr. Met. Just the mascot, the big goofy baseball. And Mrs. Met, yeah. With the giant smile that's always on his face. Like seeing that guy upset over a heartbreaking loss is classic comic. We were gonna give the finger last year. All-time mascot moment.

Yeah, that was pretty great. All right, what's your cool throne? Then my cool throne is eating ass. Oh, good. Go on. We're back. Floom, one of your guys' favorite artists, I'm sure. I love Floom, yeah.

He was doing a concert. He's kind of got a potty mouth, huh? No, he was doing a concert and someone had a sign in the crowd and it just said, Floom doesn't eat ass. And he brought his girlfriend on stage and he started eating ass. He did?

He started eating her ass? Fuck yeah, dude. Way to go, Floom. She's ride or die. That's awesome. Yeah, because that's like one of those things that if you have no like heads up that you're gonna eat ass,

imagine you're getting that triggered by an ass eating sign. Imagine if she was just sitting there swamp ass on the side of the stage and farting up. Yeah. Imagine she was like, oh, thank God Floom is on stage so I can sit here and fart. Uh-huh. Yeah, that's a risk, dude.

Good for her, good for him. Who says true love is dead? Yeah. How old is Floom? Who knows? Levitate, insane, hyper real. Yeah, of course. You know these songs, Wall Fuck.

All the classics, Wall Fuck. Yeah, I had my first kiss to Wall Fuck. Australian record producer, Floom. Oh, okay, that loses a little bit of the coolness because in Australia, you eat ass like you're shaking hands. That's like a classic hello. All right, what do you got, PFT? Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I think it's not done yet. Oh, whoa. Sorry. Hold your horses. Got to do a tight show. No. What do you mean? You got as many cool throws as you want.

My other one is people looking to invest. So I'm sure we have a lot of young entrepreneurial listeners maybe have a little bit of extra cash. They want to make that money work for them. Larry shirts and stocks are now back on sale as of today. Ah. Okay, so if you are a first time listener around this time of the season, Larry is our goldfish.

Larry six. Larry six. Don't ask what happened to the first five. New Larry six t-shirts. Oh, yo, grab them, grab them. So we have Larry shirts. So Larry enters into the Las Vegas Super Contest every year. We have entered.

I actually, what is the Las Vegas Super Contest? It's a contest of all the best gamblers in the world. And Larry is one of them. Costs a lot of money to enter. A lot of money to enter. I tweeted out the card. So he's officially entered. He's going to pick five games every single week.

And if you buy a t-shirt, a Larry t-shirt, you will get stock in owning Larry. And it comes with a certificate. Yeah. And in 2016, he finished 50th just outside the money. If he finishes in the money, we will divvy up the money with everyone who owns the stock after processing fees for us.

And it's up to what? Two million if you win the whole thing? Yeah, but remember the process. But yeah, but two million dollars, we can take whatever we want on top. It's like owning a racehorse, essentially. You get to frame your stock, put it on your wall, and you have made an active investment.

As a matter of fact, if you are a, if maybe you just came into some money and you're looking to make a great investment, why not just buy like a million dollars worth of stock and a goldfish? Yeah, Larry, yeah, pump and dump. Yeah. What other stocks come with a free t-shirt too?

I can't name more. Microsoft. Really? Yeah, they send you a Polo. Well, it's not a t-shirt though. Like a nice call. This is a Polo, it's pretty nice. Probably Fire, was that Billy McFarland's company?

Fanatics. Yeah. They might, I mean, they're a t-shirt company. You don't know this though. We don't know. No, I don't. I made all this up. None, none.

What are stocks? None, because I've seen the stonk meme. We should just put the stonk meme. Stonks are on the rise. Yeah, so you'll actually get a free stonk with Larry. And stonks are going through the roof right now. No, but seriously, buy it because it's fun to root along with Larry's picks.

And he was 60% in 2016. And you can say that you own a goldfish, a gambling goldfish that will do better than thousands of people in the Las Vegas Supercons. Including us probably. He makes five, we're not in it, but yeah. He makes five picks a week. Yeah.

So you'll, yeah, follow along with Larry. All right, so go buy a partial sports store. PFT. We're done, Hank? Yes, sir. Okay, my hot seat is the New England Patriots. Oh, uh-oh. Yeah, New England Patriots on the hot seat

because Mike Tomlin gave a press conference today. And Mike Tomlin is back. He's had an entire off season to just, I assume all he's been doing is reading like Ralph Waldo Emerson and doing dizzy bat races simultaneously because of how cryptic his Mike Tomlinisms have been today during his press conference. I'm gonna read you all three of them.

The first one was, if you have red paint, you paint your barn red. Yes. Fact. Football guy, cool. Makes sense. Fact. It's true.

No last spot, yeah. This is what he said about the Patriots' atmosphere. Cook's like to be in the kitchen. Okay. And then the last one was, a nose guard is like blockbuster video, you better diversify. Also fact.

Rune rule. There's only one blockbuster left in the US. And you can't diversify if there's just one store. There is one though. Yeah. Is it like Washington or something? I saw it. It was kind of cool.

I need to go to it. The bottom line is Mike Tomlin, he talks like, what's the guy from Dirty Jobs? He talks like Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs. If you translated his quotes into German and then took the German translation, translated them back into English. That's basically how you get a Mike Tomlin quote

about doing something that you don't wanna do. He's in peak performance, which he's informed. You think that means it's gonna translate to the field? I think if I were the Patriots, I would be very careful around Mike Tomlin. Or would you say that? Let me honestly, it sounds like he's gotten insane. Let me ask you a question, Hank.

That's a bad thing. What do you think you should use with your red paint? Is that what it was? Hank, if you had red paint and a barn, what would you do with it? I'd paint it red. There you go. So it sounds like you're Tomlin Stan.

Yeah, it took you a second. Well, you got it. Okay, your cool throne. My cool throne is Dan Snyder. So not only is Natitude back, which is great for the District of Champions DC, Dan Snyder is in great form because the Washington Post just did a long article about the 20 years of glory

since Snyder has bought the team, in which they have, I believe, three playoff wins and eight head coaches. And they tried to find some people to give good quotes, positive quotes about Snyder's tenure, and they found one. Do you know who they had that had positive things to say? Dan Snyder.

Well, probably if he had interviewed and he wasn't such a fucking recluse, but it was Stephen Jones from the Cowboys. Nice. So the Cowboys ownership thinks that the Redskins ownership, our ownership is doing a great job. They said, I've got nothing but respect for Dan and what he can get done there in Washington.

He is a visionary. That's perfect. So yeah. Your rival, your chief rival is saying you're doing a great job. That's actually the best compliment that you've ever given the R words to say that the Cowboys are still the rival.

Yeah. That honestly makes me feel better as a fan. That's like. I mean, they technically are. Just, you know, historically and all that shit. Talking them up is like, you'll appreciate this, Hank, like when Bill Belichick has to find something nice to say about an opponent,

even when he knows that they're vastly superior. And you're like, I don't know, he finds something. Finds their like line, their back up linebacker. He's like, he's got good tape. Ari says like, Andy Dalton, you got to appreciate this guy's effort on tackling when he throws an interception. Yeah. Love it.

Facts. That new also cool throwing is just Bill Belichick football porn because that. Yeah. That's Saban Belichick documentary looks pretty fucking sick. Yeah, it does. All right.

My hot seat is conversion therapy. I don't know if you guys saw this. You hear about this. Do you see this? The founder of the nation's biggest conversion therapy for homosexuals came out as gay. Oh, never saw that come in. You think?

Never saw that plot twist coming. Yeah. Spent years and years trying to tell people that they shouldn't be gay. And then after years and years of pseudo, no, just fake science and trying to convert people, he's like, oh, actually. Well, he was using real science to commit fake science, which is like electrocuting people

into thinking they're straight. They're done. Conversion therapy canceled. OK. Already was, but now it's like really canceled. There's got to be some unreal like Facebook comment posts about people. Oh, god.

Converted and then are now upset. Yeah. That's, yeah. That's that Facebook is popping on this. Somebody that's converted that's just been biting the inside of their cheek bloody for the last 20 years. This fucking guy.

Never saw this one coming. And then my cool throne is me and you guys. I don't know if you guys looked at the NFL week one schedule. I did. I like every single game I peaked. I'm going to be on fire on Sunday. I'm pretty confident. I'm going to bet every game and I'm

going to win every game. We'll get into our into our picks on. Yeah. Knock if you're with me. But yeah, knock on wood. Yeah. Chad Brown state. Dude, I looked at it.

I was like winner, winner, winner. Just went down and I was doing everything. I was doing Overs, Unders, Dogs, Favorites. I see the board so clearly there's no way this is going to blow up in my face. It does look like the most easy week. Yeah. Doesn't it?

Dude, it's like a little bit dangerous. Falcons plus four against the Vikings. Every underdog. Oh, give it to me. You like the Jags plus three and a half? I do. I love them. Plus three and a half at home against the Chiefs.

This is going to be easy. Every jackass out there is going to be betting on the Chiefs. Not me. I'm going to take the Jags and win because I'm smart. Yeah. So we're, this is not going to come back and bite us. We got this. So week one coming up, we're going to do all our picks

on Friday. You talked me into a Moneyline Parley. Yeah. OK, yeah. Here it is. One of my big idea. Once the word Moneyline Parley comes across my desk, I have to explore.

I got to sniff around a little bit. How does this lose? The Philadelphia Eagles at home against the R words? Win. Well, Seahawks at home against the Bengals. The Ravens in Miami. All the Moneyline Parley, even money. How does that lose?

It's magic. Is the only way to lose it. No way. No way. OK. 50 is correct. No way. It's magic.

Always. That cannot lose. It cannot lose. And it's a bunch of guys like, oh, the team's giving up. No. We've given up on the game like, fuck no. There's still 53 guys on this roster. Cannot lose.

They're back against the wall. Yeah. Yeah. Brian Flores is pissing off his team so much that they want to stick it to him by winning. I'm going to put all $100,000 that Jared Goff gives us overnight as a joke on that parley. Speak for yourself, because my Moneyline Parley

is going to be the Eagles, the Seahawks, the Chargers, and the Saints. Oh, I don't know what the Chargers are down to. You can't go wrong. You really can never truly lose a Moneyline Parley on all the favorites. It's never happened. All right.

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Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, it is Jerry Ferrara. Do we introduce you as Turtle or is that past? I mean, it's a judgment call on your part. Yeah, I don't know. I'm fine with it, if you think it's appropriate, then let's go with it. Good cop, bad cop, I can call you Turtle

and he can call you Jerry. Well, this is the way I introduce you. And he says, you'll call him Turtle, Turtle, yeah. And then you guys fight, huh? You used to have a podcast, I mean, you know the media world, like what I just did right there, it was actually genius because I introduced you as Turtle, but I made it seem like I was asking.

Of course, no, I saw everything that you just did there and this is why you are who you are. Yes, so you actually are here promoting power on stars. Yes. So I was told that I need to ask what the hell get the strap means. You've never heard of that? I've heard it, like I'm gonna shoot you.

I don't know what it is. As a gun owner, I know it means I'm gonna shoot you. That was a reference to at one point, 50 on his Instagram. 50 cent. 50 cent would post some stuff that would actually be like the response, like oh, this hat, like this guy fell and got into a street fight,

like get the strap. Get the strap. And the strap came a thing, it became a popular hashtag. I like it. Before we jump into all the career stuff and all that, I want to kind of thank you because you started Fat Styles, right? Yes, that was a part of that.

That is the ultimate hangover sandwich. Every time I used to drive by there, you had one in Austin on the water. Austin Texas, that's right. Yeah, and I'd be hung over a cell and I'd drive past. I don't know what the rules are for what you're allowed to put in a sandwich. It's like if you gave Guy Fury the Infinity Gauntlet

and just said like load this shit up, but is there any ingredient, any appetizer ingredient you've never put on a sandwich there? I think it's covered everything pretty much. I'm sure in the beginning that was the goal. It was supposed to be outrageous kind of, can you even, has anyone ever done that sort of thing? Buffalo wings and mozzarella sticks on a sandwich.

Pretty much, yeah. Best way to wash away a hangover. Exactly. There's a little free ad there. Throw it all in there. Appreciate it. All right, I'm gonna do the hardest question though, first. Oh boy, okay.

Daniel Jones or Eli Manning? You are a diehard Knicks, Giants, Yankees fans. I mean, Eli won two super roles. You put me in the hot seat, all right. Okay, so I'm gonna say Eli, and I'm sure there's gonna be Giants fans listening, we're gonna go really dude. I think you roll him out there

and give a shot, two reasons. One, I do think after the way he was benched two years ago, I think he deserves a chance. Oh, we're going from two years now. Yeah, no, no, he deserves a chance. You let him go out properly. And I also think that, I don't know if you wanna throw the rookie in right away.

That's a nice way to say it. Maybe if they're one in five, then you say you give the rookie the nod, get him in there, but I wanna see Eli at one last shot. I know we cannot continue to hang on to 2011. Yes. Because now it was fun when it was like 2015. Eight years ago.

Four years ago. Yeah, same team. We're almost going on a decade. Okay, so then follow-up question. How many times have you sat in Mr. Marra's suite? Never once, actually. Have you met him? No, I have not.

Interesting. I have not. So how'd he get to you? This is my own, these are my own thoughts. He did not get to me. What about this? What about you, you send Daniel Jones to Indy, get like T.Y. Hilton back,

roll Eli out there for the next five years. Now he's got to receive it. Absolutely not. No, you're going long-term, Eli. Yeah. I think you can build around Eli. So you're at least willing to say that Eli, like it's coming to an end.

Look, I'm 39 years old and I am not an athlete, but when I go play, pick up basketball, I, it's just, my brain knows what to do. My body doesn't know what to do. Right, right. So I can only imagine doing it at the pro level, but I do think he deserves a shot and you see where he is after like five games.

What's your game like in pick up basketball? Now, it's a little more Andre Miller with a good three. Okay. With a really good three. So you just run like three point line to three point line or are you getting dirty and trying to get some rebounds? No, I don't want to get hurt anymore.

I've gotten too many like seven stitches under my eye, this tooth knocked out, I'm too small and old. Like I just, I really just want to shoot threes and distribute the ball. I want to be the guy that's like, I like playing with that guy, you're a teammate. Do you at least call out picks when your teammate's about to get picked?

I always call out picks because when you're my size and your teammate doesn't call out a pick and you get crushed and your neck snaps back, it's unpleasant. I'd pick you to death. If I threw a pick on you, you'd be in the fucking body bag. As long as my team's calling me out, I'm gonna go right around you, big ass man.

I'm gonna go right around you. Have you reached the point in your pick up life where you're the one that's setting unnecessary screens and just getting like waved off left and right? Yeah, I don't set screens. I know what type of screens. I know, I try, I try to set screens, but they just look at me and they're like,

well, no, we don't need a screen. They wave you out. No, step away. I know the type of pick up guy you are. If you're hitting your shot, I'm happier on my team. If you're not, I'm like this fucking guy is not doing anything. No, that's not entirely true. Cause I also will not shoot.

If I'm, if I miss my first two, I am not, I'm not shooting anymore. Okay. So then you're really doing nothing. No, I play D. I got fast feet and fast hands. I'm in the passing lanes a lot. I'm just not looking for contact.

You're a disruptor, yeah. If there's contact involved, I am avoiding that. And I felt like I've earned that right at 39 years old. It doesn't show up in the stat sheet, but at the end of the day, your team only loses by three or four. I love that we're breaking down my pickup. Well, I mean, it's important.

It tells a lot about a person. It's important to me. Yeah. How's Marky Mark as a pickup basketball player? Wahlberg is a really good athlete. I don't know how much he plays. That was a very sneaky way to say he sucks at basketball. No, no, no, no.

I don't know how much he plays. I think he plays more golf than basketball nowadays, but the few times I've played with him, really, really fast lefty. So got that throwing you a different look with a lefty. So Mark's a good athlete. Okay. When you guys were doing entourage,

how hands-on was he actually, like with the creation of the show and the storylines? Was he a guy that was like inserting little, whispering in your ear, hey, maybe Vince should fuck this girl instead? In the first couple of years, Mark was very much involved. The thing with him, though, is like, obviously he has a lot going on, a lot on this plate.

So it wasn't like he could take four months off and say, I'm gonna come hang out on the entourage. I'd say he's doing like nine movies a year. But in the early years, to make sure we sort of got off to a good start, he was there a lot. And then he was kind of just always the presence, like you knew if you really had an issue or something,

like he was, he's a very, very good producer. Did he have a turtle in his crew? Yeah, I mean, it's sort of based off of that. It's based off of that theory. I mean, he does have a, there was an actual Johnny drama. Okay. His name is Johnny drama.

Really? That's a real, that comes from a real guy. He was like a trainer at one point. Entourage based on a true story. Loosely. You could say that. I mean, there's no, there's no person that it's like,

oh, we're using this guy's exact life. But it was based on Wahlberg and his crew at a time where he was ascending to fame. Okay. Were they in the first episode of Entourage? Yeah. So there's a scene, this was a long ass time ago. There's a scene in the pilot episode of Entourage

where we're walking on the Warner Brothers lot and Wahlberg crosses us and he's with the real Johnny drama is there. His E. His turtle. I don't know if the, cause the whole who's turtle, there's been like seven guys who have claimed

that they're big turtles based on them. Right. So I don't know actually. That's such a turtle move. Exactly. For a bunch of people to be like, I'm turtle. But we kind of walk past each other and he talks some shit to us in the pilot.

Yeah. Yeah. That was his first appearance on the show. Was there ever a moment? I mean, it was one of those shows where I remember vividly watching the pilot and being like, what the hell is this? This is awesome.

And was there a moment where you're like, this is a huge, huge hit and just kind of soaking it all in? Or were you just, cause this also was your breakout. For sure. So it's gotta be a weird feeling. Like at what point does it become real? This is my life now.

And, or does it like you just kind of hop on the roller coaster and let it run? So the first season was successful in the right that there was a, it got nominated for some awards, but it was not a ratings blockbuster by any stretch. I think if we were actually on any other network, we may have gotten canceled cause the numbers were like, okay.

Right. But HBO really tries to give you a chance to develop or whatever. So it wasn't until like midway through season two, cause this is how long ago it's been. This was like the inception of Tivo on demand. So while people didn't watch in the moment, a year went in between seasons.

They watched on that downtime. So when we came back into season two, we had gained, I don't know how many new watchers, all via on demand and Tivo and stuff. So it was weird cause the numbers weren't great, but then we came, it's like midway through season two. I think it was when we did the Vegas episode, where there's like a fight with Seth Green's character.

We started having like people trying to like get on the set and we're trying to like watch. I was like, wow, there's actually people watching this, this thing. Yeah. When, when you see the HBO screen kind of fade to black after that static, do you still hear the entourage theme song? There is a little bit of it being ingrained

in my brain for sure. But no, if anything, I'm, no, I'm more here. Other shows. A curb. Yeah. Exactly. There you go. Now we're talking.

Yeah, yeah. So there's was like a ton of cameos, obviously an entourage, some crazy guys, some people like athletes everywhere. What was the one guy that you were like, holy shit, this person's real starstruck, even though you were now a star yourself. I hate, this is gonna really pain me to even say this.

But it was really cool when Tom Brady did it. Okay. Yeah. And it was just coming off 2011. So not that long after. Did you talk shit to him? Well, in the episode I do. Right, but in, I'm talking real life.

No, because it's not, I just didn't, I just didn't feel like, also he was, that was the year after he had just gotten hurt in game one. So he had missed that whole year. And it was the summer going into that following season. So he hadn't played football in a full, almost a full year.

And he came on and I wanted to try to find like, what's up with this guy? You can't, there's no way he's gonna be like a cool guy. And not only was he a super cool guy, you can always tell like everybody how people are, especially like the crew. He was real generous with the crew. Showed up on time, knew his lines, was good on screen.

It was a golf episode. So it was also six o'clock in the morning, guy got up and hit like a 300 yard drive, which was super annoying. So I'm like, okay, no, he's real. This is like, it's not all, he's a good dude. So who's the worst of the crew? Name names.

Honestly, I've really not seen, I know I'm not being protective. I have not seen anyone come on. Cause when you're getting the cameos, right? Like for the most part they want to be there. There was a time early on like season one, we couldn't get cameos cause people were like, what show is this?

I'm playing myself. No, people didn't want to play themselves. Started to change around season three, the more we became slightly more popular. And then usually when people came on to do a cameo, they wanted to be there. So they came into it with a good attitude. What about Kanye West?

Awesome. He was phenomenal. He came in, and that episode is, some people really enjoy that episode from the way, and he debuted the song Good Life at the end of that episode. So that was like a cool, not only was he playing himself,

but he had a new song coming out. I think it was like one of the first times they used that as a platform to like launch a song. If memory serves me correct. No, that's a great song. That counts, yeah. What about Lamar Odom? Ooh.

Lamar Odom was on. You go to the bunny ranch with him? I'm just trying to, oh yeah, okay. Yeah, you're forgetting that this is actually smart of you. To be like, I forgot. I don't remember. I can't remember. You were probably taking Lamar Odom.

It was like weird, ergo viagra. Lamar Odom doesn't ring a bell. No, I'm telling you, this was 2005. Let me ask you about some stuff that happened in 2005. No idea, no idea, no idea. I was probably watching Lamar Odom in a college apartment.

The Odom stuff was cool, because that was directly after shooting at a Laker game, which we shot at a real Laker game in course I see. So that was just an awesome day in general as a huge basketball event. Tom Brady, you should have just said that you were like method acting, and you were always in character

and just talk shit to him the entire time you was in set. What are you gonna talk about? I'm like the Nero. What am I gonna say? He just won a Sioux World against him. Okay, that was three years ago. Yeah. At that point.

And all right, yes, I'm sure he's super bummed that he lost that Sioux World, but he's not like he doesn't have his shortage of rings there. Yeah. What about Gary Busey? Gary. Future guest of the show. Yes.

Is he coming on? Well, he had a little tangle with SeaWorld on Twitter, so I intervened and said, I'll face fuck SeaWorld. And then he followed me. I was like, hey, you wanna come on? He's like, yeah. You should definitely have Busey. Yeah, we're going to.

He's one of the more quotable people I've ever met. I remember when he first came on, I think he said to our show creator, Doug Allen, like I'm not gonna give you your words because nobody can write Gary Busey like Gary Busey. It's gonna give you me. And we were like, all right, let's do it. Let's go.

And he ended exactly what Gary did. Full Busey. Yes. Who was the, was there anyone that was like difficult to work with at all? No, man, I gotta say, like as far as cameos, like I said, people wanted to be there. I mean, no, I mean, certainly people had bad days

here or there where they were just tired, but I've never walked away saying like, oh, that person's really difficult. Yeah, and at the end of the day, they're there to help your show. You're there to help them. So there's probably like a lot of synergy going on. And like, come on, look, it should be taken seriously,

but also let's not, oh, like, what are we doing here? We're trying to entertain people. Let's not take, like we're not solving real world problems. Yeah, sure. If you have a bad attitude, that's on you. Okay, so these entourage questions, you're probably annoying you. So this is my last entourage question.

What is the most annoying thing that fans say to you when they see you on the street? There was a world early on when people genuinely believe that entourage was real and like thought we all were. Wait, you're saying it's not? It is. So you might've came up to be like 2000, circa 2006, and you actually thought we all lived together.

Yeah. I was always like, it'd be like, Taro, where's Vince? And I'm like, he's at the playboy, man. What do you want me to say? How far do you want me to play? So that was always really. I'm sure you probably also got offered a shitload of weed.

There's been many blunt that I've said no to. If for nothing else. You don't know where that came from. But also, do we really wanna, do we know what's really in it? True. Good point. I hate that when drug dealers give me more expensive drugs.

The disappointment when I turn down a joint or a blunt or even a drink from someone. What? I know. You're not gonna smoke? Yeah, usually, if somebody offers us two drinks, I just take big cats because he's not gonna drink it. I don't do shots.

I swore off shots in like 2014 because of that reason. Good happens. Nothing. Yeah, absolutely. I have one more entourage related question. What is your medallion? What do you wanna do that's like your big project, your passion that you have that you wanna get off the ground?

See the next one, a playoff game. Let's not, this is realistic that we're talking about here. There is one that I just am now, I'm officially too old and out of shape. I always wanted to make the Arturo Gatti movie. I was a huge Arturo Gatti movie. There's been a ton of stuff obviously about Mickey Ward. Arturo Gatti died really young and tragically.

And there was a world where I had some rights to do that, but time has gone on and I'm just too old and out of shape. And I don't know if I'm willing to be like six months of hard work like Michael B. Jordan and like Creed. I don't know if I'm willing to do all that at this point. We'll write check. Yeah, I don't think that check will be there. Okay, we'll get it going.

Let's get it going. Passion projects don't often generate the big checks. That's true, you gotta do your Aquaman. Again. So what's your Aquaman? That's gonna fund your medallion. I did have someone, I don't know who said this to me. We were talking about superhero stuff. And I was like, well,

I'm never gonna be mistaken for a superhero. And you're like, I'm Robin maybe. Dude, yeah. I guess Robin is the only. Avengers, I mean, they go, there's like B-Man or Ant-Man or whatever the fuck it is. It's cast, Paul Rudd. I know, but I'm saying like, they've got nerd characters.

What's his name? Jimmy Olsen, the photographer from the Superman movies. Yeah, you could be him. But is he really a superhero? Maybe in the second one. I think that would defy the comic books. I think they would have to really change some stuff in the Spider-Man universe.

That must be so sweet though. If you do get a gig where you're playing an athlete and you just get paid to lose a shitload of weight and get to the best shape of your life. That's like my dream, honestly. Yeah, I just, I think the only, I don't know what athlete I'm playing at this, first of all, ever physically,

but then now it's certainly at this point in my life, I don't know what athlete I'm ever playing. Speaking of the Knicks, going back to them, are you a Knicks fan that speaks honestly or a Knicks fan that still wants courtside tickets so that you like sit on Dolan's lap? I speak honestly. Okay, so go.

What are you asking? They stink. And they screw everything up. And they didn't even take a meeting with Kevin Durant and James Dolan's ruining the franchise. And his band sucks. None of those things. You told us to speak honestly. We don't give a fuck about Knicks. No, I was more asking what's the question.

Like, what do you, do you, go ahead, speak honestly. It's like a writing problem. What to expect coming into 2019-20? What do you expect, any? Just what do you think about the franchise? How much of what Big Cat and I just said, do you agree with 100%? I don't even remember what, I mean, he said nine things.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Will they all count? Will the Knicks make an Eastern Conference finals in your lifetime? See, now you're just straight up trolling. Yes, I'm gonna say yes, but do you think I'm being too optimistic about that? And hopefully, I mean, I'm planning on living that.

Yeah, how long are you planning on living this? Okay, if you get the Gotti movie, then you get in great shape. You add another 10 years on, maybe you'll finally get there. There you go. We were in the second round, six years ago. Second round, yeah, that's true. That's one round away from the Eastern Conference final.

That is true. That's good, I'm surprised that Knicks fans know how the playoffs work still. Steve Novak, just count, double check, let's go. Mellow, do you think the Knicks should bring back Mellow for a little farewell tour? I mean, I don't, I don't even, would he wanna come back to the Knicks for a farewell?

I think Mellow wants to play with anyone who will have him. I don't know, I don't know. I think he probably wants to play for a team that has a legit shot at. Will they have him though? Probably not. Getting to a title or the Eastern or Western Conference finals.

Yeah. Were you all in on, like, did you do the memes, like the Zion, Kyrie, Kevin Durant? Dude, I was really trying to convince my wife, cause we just had a baby four months ago, like we should name this kid Zion. Congrats. It's true.

The conversation didn't really advance too far past that, and fortunately enough, cause the lottery, the lottery ping pong balls did not bounce our way. So. So you named him Marjay? Exactly. Yeah. We named him Mitchell Robinson.

What is the highlight of your life as a Knicks fan? And you're not allowed to say any of the Ewing years. Those don't count. Damn. The modern years. There's nothing. The highlight of my Knicks fandom post Ewing era. Yeah.

I'm gonna have to go back to eliminating the Celtics, I guess, in that, I guess it was 2013. Okay. Getting out of the first round. First round, yeah. And I mean, unless we want to start talking, Lynn Sanity was fun. Oh, Lynn Sanity was the best.

That was a great two weeks. That was an awesome two weeks. But it really was. Yeah. During Lynn Sanity, was there a moment that crept into you where like, this is the truth, we are contenders now? I think that always happens to Knicks fans. Anytime anything positive happens,

even remotely, a glimmer, we then say, oh no, this is it. We're on the way up. We're on the come up. What's happening? So you lost a lot of weight. I did. Slowly coming back. Well, no, it's not.

Come on, you look great. I yo-yo with my weight. And a lot of times people say that if I lost a lot of weight, which I don't think I ever will be able to, that I would be less funny. Did you deal with that? Yes. How did you overcome that?

And you're like, I'm just gonna be a fucking Fitzpoe. No, I just, first of all, I'll never think I was particularly funny to begin with. So I don't think our self deprecation. Yeah, that was a way to go. That was certainly a way to go. But I just didn't really understand how, I guess, if I'm smaller in proportion, I'm less funny.

I think you're either funny or you're not. Well, it was tough because it's obviously the character. I guess the evolution of the character changed, too. Like where you became, you know, you were the driver, smoking weed, playing video games, and then you became a millionaire. I'll tell you what has happened, though, doing power for five years,

which is cable drama as opposed to comedy. I have gotten in the last couple of years for other jobs like, can you do comedy? Right. Like, you're kind of only looking at the current thing and not going back in the files. Like, I mean, I have done comedy. So I'm gonna say, yeah, but they look at power.

It's like, that's a gritty kind of cable drama. Does he do comedy? Yeah, I expect that, like, Chris Pratt probably deals with something like that nowadays where he's so known for being a superhero and he's in shape now. It's like, hey. He's a hilarious dude.

Are you able to be the funny guy still? Right. But I do think that he's one case, maybe Seth Rogen is another, where they lost weight and for whatever reason they're less funny to me. I don't know if that's fair. Seth Rogen's less funny to you?

Yeah, if that's probably, it probably says more about me, that I'm like, oh, I wish that guy was chubby so I could laugh at him. Like, I think that's probably more about me than it is about now. I think so. He's a chubby chaser, too.

Yeah, I do love that. I mean, look, I'm teamed up with him. Literally all of his friends look exactly like him. Yeah, understood. It's crazy. He has this podcast from guys in Austin. They all came up and they were like, I was staring in the mirror.

Yeah, more questions. What the hell is going on right here? A bunch of you, just a bunch of. What is going on around here? What are you guys doing around here? What can I say? That's funny. Do you, this is a technical question,

acting side, did you reach a point where you don't have to try out for roles anymore? You just get them? No. No, no, no. Is that something that happens? Yeah. So like the big guys.

Yes, it's called offer only. You're offer only. That's, yeah, I didn't know that existed. That's a great phrase. Yeah. I'm an offer only guy. I'm an offer only guy. Exactly.

I only take the offers. There's a point you reach in your career where whatever your level of talent or fame has gotten to where you're not auditioning unless there's a rare occasion where it's like something that you're so different and outside the box for that particular character. You may have to go in, but like Chris Pratt, I'm sure is not going into the audition room anytime.

He's offer only. Exactly. So what is the role you auditioned for that maybe the world doesn't know about that we can break some news? You would have played Tony Stark. No, again, not. He died.

Spoiler. Yeah, not playing a superhero anytime. Okay. I don't know if I really have one that's like, oh wow, you didn't get that? Or one that was actually in consideration. Yeah, one that you auditioned for and you're like, this would have been awesome if I got this.

There's actually a show coming out that I'm not gonna just figure out because I'm not a part of it. And I don't know where they're at with it, but I think it's gonna do well. And I was up for a part in it and I auditioned and obviously did not get it, but I think that one's actually gonna do. That's so cryptic.

Can you just give us like a description of the character like a little bit so that when it comes out, we're like, that's what he was talking about. All right, so there's a couch, a black couch, and a camera. Oh, you're describing the audition room? Uh-huh. New cast and couch.

How bad do you want this role? Well, let me just tell you nowadays, you barely even go into an audition room anymore. You make a self-tape at home and you send like a Vimeo link. I don't like that. So maybe that's the next like, someone hacks all the Vimeo links instead of the iClouds. And then we send out all the shitty auditions.

Yeah, I like that. Sure, someone's working at home favorably trying to figure out, but yeah, I mean, I think it's now maybe only 10% of the time that if I get an audition, I'm actually going in the room and meeting the people and yeah, but it's crazy getting over here. Give it to me again.

Give it to me a different way. Right. Do they say that? No, yeah, usually. No, they give you a no and they say, try it and do that. Cause I think also the worst is if you don't get any notes, if you do your audition, you're like, thank you.

You know what's done. That was saving some time. That was great. And you walk out like something fun. That was the opposite of great. I've always heard that on set, if a director is like giving you little notes or something like that,

they never say the line the way they want to hear it. They give you like kind of a roundabout instruction for motivation instead of like saying something and asking you to copy. Is that true? Right. Because it's called another, we're going to get fancy terms.

Yeah. A line reading that's called, right? So if the line is like, do me a favor, pass that water. That's the line, right? Although you're acting. You're acting. It was so convincing.

That's good. But if someone comes up to you and says, say it like this, do me a favor, go get me that one. Like you're trying to mimic something is a little, it just gets stuck in your head. It's the only way you'll ever be able to do it. So I think people try to not do line readings and aren't always appreciated.

Yeah. You'd be insulted if a director. Not insulted. Just like, ah, all right, that's fun. I'm just going to be a robot and give it to you exactly the way you want. All right, give me this line. I don't know about the afterlife, but this life is sweet.

Never heard that line. That's the corniest line ever. I just looked at it. And it's also from 12 years ago. Again, I repeat. No, maybe longer. Fuck the fucking Mercedes Vince. What are you, a soccer mom?

14 years ago, you're going back. Okay. So let's try to see what you were saying. 14 years ago. No, you're right. You're right. I want to talk about video games real quick. Please.

So you're passionate about video games. Hell yeah. Do you own a team? No, no, no. Oh, I do. Sorry. I wish I did. You own a team?

Yeah, it's some team in New Zealand. I actually don't know the name of it. I can't tell if you do. No, I'm being dead serious. Okay, what do they compete in? What game? Fuck if I know. Computer games.

Are you making money off this venture? No, I know. None of my ventures are making money. Why are someone money in New Zealand and now you own a game? I got one for you too if you like to invest. Okay, I'm in. All right.

I'll give you my routing number. But yeah, how did you get into video games? Like what do you actually do day to day in the video game community? So I mean, I've just always been a gamer since I was a kid. I actually help with the Knicks gaming team, which is a team in the NBA 2K league. That's why you're saying that.

I mean, so they started, do you know the game 2K? Yeah. There's a professional NBA 2K league team with 21 real NBA franchises that have a team in it. And I've been the scout and consultant for the Knicks gaming team. You're a scout. Is there like a rift in the e-gaming,

scouting community between analytics and analytics? Where you're like, I just like that guy's grit. No, there's no rift. You really analytics are a huge part. How do you look at a guy playing video games and be like, I like his thumbs? See, again, I've had, I mean, if you want to go down this road,

that is just not the way to think about it. I hear what you're saying. Yes. You're analyzing his like hand-eye coordination. It's really just more, you got to just look at it like traditional basketball. What are his numbers? You look at stuff like how he operates in the pick and roll,

his true shooting efficiency, stuff like that. Those are real analytics that you look at. So you're monitoring the actual gameplay, not so much the person. No, but then you do a whole interview process with the actual person to see a little bit more about what type of guy or girl they are. So what is your favorite game of all time?

Like, what was your go-to game? Have you always been a sports game? Well, as a kid, it was Mike Tyson's Punch-Out, 0073735963's code to get up to Mike Tyson. As I got a little bit older and gaming got better, I mean, obviously Madden was a huge game, Halo. And then I really kind of settled in on Call of Duty was Modern Warfare 1.

Okay, what about the most recent one? That one was awesome. Blackout 4? Oh, you're talking about modern, yeah. I mean, the new one coming, which the beta is out for now or maybe the alpha, it's coming at the end of October. That's Modern Warfare 4. That's gonna be the one.

Do you game online with everyone? Sure. Can I be on your squad? Can I be on your squad? You wanna squad up, let's go. I'll squad up with you. Anytime, dude. Dude, I love squatting up.

We're gonna get dubs or what? We're gonna win. I'm more of a grab a shotgun and just run up on people and shoot them as fast as I can and then die, but I'm in for whatever. Listen, man, I will support you. Yeah, you need one wild card, right? I will support you.

Yes, you do. They often can win you games. They just, I usually, if you look at my stats, I'm usually like, I get killed 25 times and I get 10 kills. So you're killed death, you're like a minus one point. Yeah, pretty much. I'm just running around getting smoked. We'll have to get some other players to help us.

They're called the carry. We might need a couple of carries. That's really a term? Yeah, like guys who are really good that carry you to victory because we suck. So that's what they've been saying to me when they mute me on the... They're like, oh, we got carried.

This guy, we gotta carry him again. Okay, yeah, because I always get in the lobby and then everyone leaves. Hey guys, we're really good. Hello? Hello? Get the fuck out of here. I'm all alone.

How close are you to becoming a professional gamer? Do you just want to stay on the scouting side? I'm not. First of all, I don't have enough time to commit to actually become good enough to ever be a pro because it is a huge time commitment. And I really do think something happens to hand-eye coordination at a certain age.

Yeah. So I'm out. Interesting. Is there an Adderall problem in e-gaming? Not that I've seen, though. Shit, I'm always trying to uncover some kind of scale. Also, here you go. I'm gonna give you a hot tip.

Hot tip, e-sports. Yeah, e-sports. Sorry. I already own a team. That's what I was saying. E-gaming? I don't even know. This guy does not know the first thing about e-gaming.

I very clearly don't. What about bottled oxygen? I've seen some guys putting up to their nose in the middle of games. Again, never seen it if it works. I've never seen that before. You're like a pre-Mitchell report scout. Where you're like, I don't know why

these guys are hitting home runs. But also, I don't know if you proudly announce is that something you'd be broadcasting? No, no, no. Probably not. No, no. They'll leave a bottle of Andro in their locker afterwards, and the reporters will find out and be like,

that's what it is. The Senate. 1997. Yeah, yeah. No, the Senate's committee is gonna do a FOIA on your emails and you're gonna be like, I don't know why Eric Gagne's saving all these games. By the way, you guys have some dope dated references.

You may keep it with Eric Gagne. Yeah, we probably, we're just kind of finished at like 2008. Yeah, if you learn anything past the age of 30, you're a sucker. Yeah, big time. Yeah, that's kind of, yeah. What have you learned that's useful past the age of 30? Um, that only stuff that's really pertaining to like marriage and family and that stuff,

cause I was never married or had a kid before. So the last five years I've learned a lot on that level. Yeah. Okay, I guess that's one flaw in my order. I'm a dad too. So I was not a kid. I've had trucks. He's 10 weeks.

Really? Yeah. And you're awake? Yeah. Barely, I'm sure. He's actually already sleeping through the night. No big deal. He's fucking chill ass baby.

So he's a big kid. No, he's just a chill ass baby. I don't know, he just chills. And he's sleeping through the night already. Yep. How you like me now? I'm just, I am, that is like. We give him drugs every night to make sure he falls asleep.

But yeah, that's for that whole thing. You have to. Plus he takes bottled oxygen before the show. Why did you choose not to vaccinate your kids? Good question. He's actually started a rumor that I didn't vaccinate. Well, you call it a rumor, but if it gets, I did hear it enough, it becomes truth.

But no, you're in the Hollywood. Why did you start that rumor? I just, I was bored and wanted to fuck with Big Cat. Did that catch on? 90% of the stuff that we do comes from that place. Yeah, a few people were like, what the hell dude? But you're in the Hollywood circle. So I'm sure you've had some people be like,

hey, Jerry, what are you doing, vaccinating your kid? I'm not, I mean. I'll see it in Williamsburg. So that's like ground zero for unvaccinated children at this point. Yeah, I have not caught all of what you're taught. Is it? Yeah.

Yeah, people go door to door with flyers. I think they're very religious. Don't vaccinate. Jews, which I can say as well, because I'm... They go door to door with flyers. Yeah. Saying like, do not vaccinate your children. Yeah.

Dead serious. And that's effective. We've gotten into Williamsburg it is. We're in a swamp right now. I don't know how to get out of this part. Here, I'll get out of it. Vaccinate your kids and spay and neuter your pets. Power.

Let's talk about power. Your stars. Your power on stars. It's a great segue. Yeah. That was like the Grateful Dead drums section where everyone took a piss. They're like, what's going on?

We're going to take a break from this interview. I went to one of their shows one time and they had like a wolf sound effect howling in the middle of the drum solo. Yeah. It was really trippy. But so that's what we're doing right now. But we're talking about power.

So power put in the wolf sound effect. Yeah. Tell me why you decided to start with a show. What's been good about it? What you like and what we have to expect from it? What was the first part of that? Were that why I started with it? Yeah, what drew you to this project?

What drew me to the project was I was a fan of the show in season one. I almost was working on it in season one. It didn't schedule wise work out. The woman who created the show, Courtney Kemp, told me, I'm going to write something for you next year and I hope you want to do it. It's going to be good.

And I've heard that quite a few times in my career and that never really ever becomes anything. And she actually did it. Called me a year later. It was like I wrote this character. He's the criminal defense attorney. And it's going somewhere. She pitched me a whole bunch of stuff

that's happening in future seasons. Not only everything that she said she was going to do, but more. I've been on the show for five years. It started off as a smaller character and it kept growing year over year. Is that rare in Hollywood or in TV production or film production where somebody will actually follow

through on something that they promise you? I mean, I think everybody means well. I think when they say it, but it's almost like overextending or maybe they don't even have the authority to do what they said they wanted to do. In this case, she did. She was the boss. So I mean, yeah, I've definitely had people say,

we should work together. I'm going to write something for you. And it's like, all right, yeah. Do you ever have anybody come up to you and they're like, I know you from somewhere. Sully, you weren't Sully. Not that one, because that's like a blink. If you blink, you miss me kind of thing.

I love those interactions where it's like, I know you from somewhere we met before. I'm like, I don't think so. And they're like, wait, you're an actor. Yes, that's true. What do I know you from? Here we go. Let's do the IMDB thing.

All right. Entourage. No, no. Okay. Power. What's power? No. All right.

I'm running out of projects. Think like a man. And then they do pull out something random. Like King of Queens, 2001. I'm like, yes, I did three episodes of King of Queens. But... What's a residual on that? Oddly enough, I just got one like a week ago

for like $67. That's pretty good. They're hanging strong. I'm obsessed with residuals. I need to get a residual. Bad. Should we get one from ESPN? I mean, we should get something that just shows up.

Every, what is it? Mailbox money. Yeah, every month there's a residual cycle. That's awesome. We gotta get on. All right. My last question. So check out power just actually season six just debuted.

It just debuted last Sunday. Yes. So check it out on stars. My last question. Seek Eek question, promo code take, use it. You get $10 off Seek Eek purchase. We made fun of you for the next. We made fun of you for the giants.

So are the Yankees gonna win the World Series? I really think they are. If they are, this feels real. No pitching though. Yes, but also have bounced back from situations where you like obviously the Boston, the Boston massacre, everybody thought that happened in July. We bounced back strong from that.

I think it's real. I feel like in a couple of years past, last two, three years, we've been optimistic. We weren't quite there. I feel like we're there. Do you trust Aaron Boone? Yeah, I do. And not that we have a choice, but yeah.

Yeah, yeah. We do. Okay, last, last question. Do you have a judge? Does he have his pinstripes? What do you mean does he have? Like he's earned a pinstripe. You know what I mean.

I mean, I think so. I think he's, he's still, I mean, he's young. I think this is gonna be a perfect moment. Yeah, that sounds like a no. What I mean is playoff basketball is where you're, baseball is where you're in pinstripes. I think this is gonna be a huge stage for him. So not, he has not earned his pinstripes yet

to earn his pinstripes. Well, well on his way. Well on his way. He's on his way to earning pinstripes. Does Stan have pinstripes? No. No. Does anybody on the team have pinstripes?

Gardner, CC, CC for sure. They're slimming on him. I think DD could be well on his way. Yeah. I mean, it's a young team. It's hard to give out pinstripes for young guys. That's true. Do you have like a, is there, well, how does it work?

Is there like a committee of Yankee fans that decide the pinstripes? If there is, I am not a part of said committee. So I think that, yeah, it's like some underground. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got you. You're rinking at me right now. What about Brian Cashman? How come he always finds himself

in these like weird situations every month where he's like getting arrested? That shit was weird. Yes, it was. Yes, it was. Cause his car got stolen. And he was going to retrieve his own car without the police involved.

I don't even know how that, that, that happened. You're doing good. You're doing good as an inside member of the council. God damn it. Not letting anything out of house. The diversion works. Yeah. The Cashman diversion works.

All right. Well, Jerry, thank you so much. Appreciate you stopping by. Check out Power on Stars. I debuted last week, season six. Watch it because you're a great actor. I look forward to seeing you on the pickup basketball court one day.

Dude, I actually have a run if you want to come. I would love to come. No, seriously. I'm dead serious. No, I'm serious. I play three, four times a week last day. Saturday mornings. Okay.

Can you do Saturday mornings? Yeah. Manhattan. Yeah. Okay, perfect. You're in. Don't set no hard picks. No, you're good.

You're perfect. It's a really shitty player. So you'll fit in well. All right, sweet. Can anyone shoot? Yeah, there's a couple. I don't know. I'm more of a carrier.

Let's call back. That interview with Jerry Ferrara was brought to you by Movement. Let me ask you guys something. How much time do you spend in front of your digital screens? For me, I know I spend hours at a time looking at my screens.

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when you choose a monthly plan. That's using the link, getroman, G-E-T-R-O-M-A-N.com slash take. All right, let's get to some segments. Oh, oh, whoa. Is the cow okay? What happened? Sorry to do like this. Is that the cow that fell down

and now Big Cat has to kill it? Breaking moves. Pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft. Federer lost. Oh, no. The goat! My goat. No!

I'm gonna troll tweet this right now. That sucks. Five turn. Okay, hold on. You know what? You're gonna do this plus 1,000. Should I add, should I add hubs or not at hubs? The big question.

Subbing is more of a troll move. It is more of a troll move, yeah. He must have used Roman Swipes because he lasted longer than Joe. Federer lost as a minus 1,000 favorite. I don't know if it was minus 1,000, the dude that won was plus 1,000. Hank, is this true?

Hank, did he retire or did he lose? He just lost. So he didn't quit. No, he didn't quit. He didn't battle an injury like Djokovic did. He didn't quote the Joker. And he probably was playing with subpar balls because Doug Gottlieb stole all of them last night.

Okay, I just heard Federer lost as a minus 1,000 favorite. Is this true? There we go. We'll let that one out there. I'll just, that's one of those tweets you tweet. And then like two hours later, I'll go to my mentions and be like,

why the fuck are people talking tennis? And I forgot that I tweeted it. You just can't admit that Djokovic is the goat, is a bad taker, he's got it on it. Ask me, let me ask you this. What is Nadal and Federer's record against Djokovic's last nine times they've faced? One and eight is the answer.

Federer's one and eight. Federer's one and eight. Federer's also like 15 years old. 15 years old. Look at that. One and eight. Federer's a bum. Federer's the best player.

Djokovic is the best. I can't believe you've controlled me into caring about tennis. But here we are. And I'm power. Roger Federer is the goat. I hate to say this, but Novak's got two and two slams in 2019 Federer has none.

Of course he does. So he's better right now. He's the goat. He's better right now. He's the goat. All right, Andy beat him in Wimbledon, no big deal. Okay, so power rankings. Power rankings.

AKA Pete Prisco is a fucking idiot. Yep, that's our segment. Prisco loves to troll with his preseason power rankings. No bigger troll than putting the Packers is number one. Except here's the thing about Prisco, he genuinely believes all of his shitty opinions are good, which is why we kind of respect him on this show.

Are you saying he's trolling or that's the question? No, he genuinely believes that he's smarter than everyone else and that he sees things that nobody else can see. So he thinks like he has an advanced set of eyes that can pick up on things on tape that nobody else sees. So he just went into this blind

and these were his power rankings. He wasn't like, this is going to get a rise out of you folks. So we're going to power rank. We're going to do a shitty power rankings of Pete Prisco's power rankings. We'll go back and forth to do five. I'll start with number one. The Green Bay Packers being number one.

They didn't make the playoffs last year. That's fine. They didn't make the playoffs last year. This is like putting them. No, I'm not. You know what? I was, I'm not going to say what, I've been getting a lot of people saying,

hey, big cat, why do you hate Nebraska? Why do you always go after Nebraska? I wasn't going to say that Nebraska went four and eight last year and then somehow we're in the top 25 this year. I wasn't going to say it. They won four out of the last five. I wasn't going to say it. I wasn't going to say it.

According to Pete, the Matt LaFleur, Aaron Rodgers relationship will be fine. So first reported by Pete Prisco. And who's calling them? Audible Gate is my latest new scandal. Who's calling them? I like that pick as Packers number one actually. Yeah, there you go.

Because they have the boat, Aaron Rodgers playing quarterback. Shout out Max Keller, my good name. So my first qualm with Pete Prisco is going to be having the Chargers at number four. I'm low on the Chargers. You guys know I'm a Super Chargers fan. Yeah, I'm low on them.

I do like the Chargers too, but they're missing Derwin James. They're missing Melvin Gordon right now. Derwin James is probably my favorite young player in the NFL. And if you know anything about the Chargers with like the exception of just last year, they're going to lose four out of their first five

and then rally and knock off like 10 in a row. I also have a take I'm squatting on, which hurts me to say, but everyone keeps pointing around like Tom Brady. Don't. Drew Brees. Don't. Don't.

Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. No. I know, I know, but I'm saying one of these guys will and it feels like everyone's just forgetting Phil Rivers out on the West Coast.

I actually think that if you put Phil Rivers on the Pittsburgh Steelers instead of Ben Roffelsberger, they probably would have won like six Super Bowls. Phil. What? Yeah. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. No, it's not the dumbest thing you've ever heard.

Six Super Bowls. They would have won six. I think Phil Rivers has got a raw deal. Six Super Bowls. Yes, at least. At least. Because Phil Rivers noted guy who beats the Patriots. Yeah, it's about to say there's one column

denominator there. Listen, no, no, there's so many other players on the field that didn't give them time besides Phil Rivers. Oh, OK. Phil, Phil Rivers was the best quarterback in that draft. All right, good pick, good pick. How about, I mean, the Bears at 11 is insane. I'm sorry.

I don't think the Bears are going to. I'm worried about the Bears season, but 11 is crazy. That's like bad. Yeah, it's pretty good. I mean, the fact that he has so many teams that didn't make the playoffs in front of him is ridiculous. So the Falcons, who I am high on, ahead of the Bears right now is crazy.

That's crazy. So this is your league. That's crazy. It is a this year league. That's crazy. Bears defense is going to be number one defense. You didn't listen to Hank. He said it's a this year league.

All right, go ahead. Do you have a kicker? Yeah. Eddie Pinheiro. OK. Ever heard of him? Probably the most pressure ever on a kicker week one. Yeah, that's great.

You love to hear it. That guy is going to melt on the pressure. OK, my next shitty kick. It's going to be bad. He's got the Vikings at 14. Vikings are going to finish 25. So you're saying Kirk Cousins is on a perfectly average roster. No, 15 would be.

16 would be perfect leverage. So he has them at least two slots too high. I think they might finish even lower because of the slower curse, which by the way, I am officially putting the Dunshane on him. So I need to figure out what I'm doing. It's got to be the hair bet, right? You did.

There was a lot of wait, what? No. If the Vikings win the Super Bowl. Oh, you're going to cut your hair? Yeah, then I'll make it into a wig. You're not going to win the Super Bowl, so it doesn't really matter, yeah. Because he's bald and nobody talks about that.

All right, my. How do you feel, people? There's a lot of Minnesota fans being like, how could you put on a curse on a team that's already cursed? That was kind of the. They didn't get the joke. That was the entire point. All right, historically awesome and clutched Minnesota Vikings.

The fifth pick, so the last pick, I'm going to go deep on Pete Prisco's power rankings. I actually think, I think the NFC North is going to be the toughest division this year, and I think the Lions are going to be better than 29th. OK, like I don't think the Lions, I think the Lions are better than the Bengals. They're better than the Redskins are better than the Bucks.

I would like their defense is going to be good. I just, I think the Lions are going to be friskier than people realize. I would like to see Matt Patricia doing those QB drills like John Gruden was doing. Just him, but just him on a segue. Yeah, just like trying to chase people down. Is an ACL, or are you reporting that?

Whatever he had, whatever he had. Is that an exclusive report? Yeah. I think the, I think the 40, or not the 49ers, the Broncos are too low at 24. Dude, Joe Flacco stinks. I think the Broncos are too low at 24. That altitude, the new pass interference rules,

you guys aren't talking about, I don't know. The defense, the defense is really, really good. Joe Flacco doesn't need to be elite. He just needs to be, he just needs to have people asking the question, could he get back to being elite? OK. And if that's the discussion, then the Broncos

are going to finish in the top 16. OK. OK. All right, so yeah, go check out Prisco's stupid fucking Power Rangers. Vic Fangio. Yeah, Vic Fangio's a very good coach. You know that guy brings a little mentality.

He is, until they get away from Joe Flacco, they're going to stink, though. They are not going to score points. I disagree. That defense is going to be good, and they're going to be like, fuck, we're screwed again. Joe Flacco is going to draw a minimum of six pass interference penalties again.

All right, next up we have Mike Wilbond's name drop. So this was Skip? Yeah. Skip Bayless. He did an ultimate name drop today. He was talking with Shannon on, was it Undisputed? Is that the name of the show? Love the new show on FS1.

He said, I got a text from Lil Wayne this morning saying that there's more than meets the eye in the LaFleur-Roger situation, meaning that they're getting ready to uncork a bunch of new secret plays that we haven't seen yet in the preseason, that their relationship is great, actually. OK. So Lil Wayne was looking through his third eye,

and he was doing the Pete Prisco of sitting at home stoned on your couch and watching the preseason games and saying, these two guys, I like their relationship. Everyone says it sucks. Lil Wayne says it's good. Lil Wayne. So Skip Bayless texts with Lil Wayne? All the time.

All the time. Yeah, they are actually like sure. Did you know Matthew Berry texts with Jay-Z? I did know that. Yeah, it's crazy. Who you got on a collab if they were to each put down like a mixtape together? Matthew Berry and Jay-Z and Skip Bayless and Lil Wayne.

I'll go Skip Bayless and Lil Wayne. I think I got it. I think I got Weezy, too. That would be fire. Skip Bayless is a wordsmith. Like they're the same. They're both goats just in their perspective professions. Yes, agrees.

All right, last up before we get to guys on chicks, thoughts and prayers. I don't even remember what this is for. Chris Jericho. Oh, yeah. So Chris Jericho. Recurring guests. Recurring guests, podcaster extraordinaire.

Loved us. And wrestler. He had his AEW title belt. He's not dead, Hank. This is one of those like I'm excited. Hank was doing the ear thing that your dog does when the garage door goes up. He's like, huh?

He did the head tilt to the side. Chris Jericho had his title belt stolen from him when he was at Tallahassee Longhorn Steakhouse. Damn. That kind of, this is all right. We don't victim shame on this podcast. But if you leave your title belt in a Tallahassee Steakhouse, a wrestling belt in a Tallahassee Steakhouse,

that is a gold mine. The Montreal Steak Seasoning Screw Drop. That is 1.7. The Montreal Wagyu Boops job. 1.7 boobs. Apparently it wasn't in the Steakhouse. He was in the Steakhouse. He left it outside in his limo.

And somebody stole it from him. But that again, if you pull it to a Tallahassee Steakhouse, in a limo, everyone's just looking at it like, what does that fancy person have in there? Maybe a wrestling belt. Even all the servers come outside. They assume you're a professional wrestler if you go to a Steakhouse and a limo scene down there.

Yeah, it sucks. I'm sorry, Chris Jericho. But first of all, you're a podcaster. And second of all, you're not dead. You're not dead. That's a good spin zone. But as a podcaster, you should not even be wearing belts. You should just be strictly sweatpants.

True. Sweatpants or bird dogs. Should be a title waistband. Yeah. Not a title belt. All right, let's wrap it up. Guys on chicks. Then Friday, we have, oh, we have our favorite.

I said, oh, but it's oh. We have our favorite coach coach on Friday. Not a big deal. Not a big deal. Literally, he called in and his voice made us all so happy. I don't know if we're going to include this part in the podcast. But when he first picked up before we really started the interview, he just goes, what's up, boys?

Yeah. And I was ready to go. Holy shit. Hi, gang. I got married in March and my husband and I recently had the biggest argument yet. It all started when he locked the door to take a dump. Now, I've never tried to come in the bathroom

while I was busy in there unless I can hear him actively showering. In which case, I'd go in there to put makeup on or something. I stay out of the way and I've never even tried the bathroom door. So a couple of weeks ago, when I could hear him in the shower, I tried to come in for my hairbrush and the door was locked. Apparently, he's been locking the door every time he poops,

then unlocking it before he showers. So I've never even known he locks it since I don't try the door unless I hear the shower. I think it's really weird that he locks the door in our own house, especially since no one else has ever around. And it almost hurts my feelings that he doesn't trust me not to interrupt. But he says he's just being polite.

Who was right should he lock the door? He's right. He's right. You're wrong. He's jerking off too. Yeah, there's that. And there's also that's a fact. He just he's making sure that you don't

make any unwanted mistakes. Yeah, he's saving you from yourself. He's actually very like, you know, he is like, you don't want to see what goes on there when he jerks off onto his shit. Yeah, he's probably cranking it from the back, like underneath his leg himself. Yeah.

So you don't trust me. You don't want to see. I don't know if you've seen the intro to this year's episode of Mindhunter. But locking a bathroom door can actually save a lot when it comes to it. He's probably wearing a clown mask. Yeah.

And tying his neck up to the door with a tie. Yeah. So yeah, don't go in. That's just listen, a guy doesn't have a lot of safe spaces. Podcast is one of them. Bars on Sundays. Our man cave.

Our man cave. In Tallahassee. Looters. With a big wrestling belt that we stole hanging up on it. And locking the door when you have to shit, jerk off, and shower. That's it. We don't ask for much.

I did have, I had a roommate in college that used to lock his bedroom door every time he would shower because he didn't trust one of my roommates. That was my friend because my roommate just got out of jail. No big deal. Long story. Oh, wow. But when he would come out of the bathroom,

he'd have to bring his key with him and unlock his door and his towel to get back in his room. And one time he forgot his key. And so he was just locked out of his own bedroom in his own house wearing a towel. Damn. And then he had to ask my friend, the criminal, to come break the door down for him.

Which he knew how to do. Which he knew how to do. Is really emasculating all around. Hey, hunky hank and the boys. My boyfriend switched to Keto and now he sucks to eat with. How do I make him eat like a normal person again? Don't you want to be hot? Don't you want to be hot?

That's a good question. I think you just start in with the like, I love you the way you are. Or just honestly, as someone who right now is going no carb life, just put enough pizza in the fridge. He'll like, if I come home tonight and there's pizza in the fridge, I'm eating it. Like I am.

So just do that. Just really submarine his efforts to better himself. That's true love. Also, if you just say that whatever like kind of dough that you're serving on the pizza or any sort of like carb like substance is made from cauliflower, he'll just eat it and he won't know. Yeah.

So just be like, hey, it's cauliflower. Like, oh, this isn't that bad. Frozen yogurt. Just get a lot of frozen yogurt. If I see frozen yogurt, I eat it. I had three ice cream cones on Saturday. Just wanted to get that out there. That's pretty sick.

Yeah. Wait, did you have to walk to the ice cream stand three separate times? I got one at like noon. I got one at like, no, no, no, true ice cream. Like there's ice cream trucks. And you so every you were in your apartment and every time you heard the ding, ding walks.

No, they don't ding, ding. They fucking sit down the street. I was just like, I got to walk Stella. Got to walk Stella and I just crush ice cream cones. I like that. I've been getting into just popsicles in the freezer. But then you eat eight or nine of them. I can't stand popsicles.

You have to get the right one. That's like, I mean, just go all the way. Sup PMT boys, especially Big Cat and PFT. I was listening to the show today and was amazed with how smart Hank's ideas were to stop the hurricane. Did you guys talk to him about how impressive that was off air? Did we?

Did I say something? I don't think so. I'm always impressed with that. I actually had that on my to-do list today. Tell Hank he's smart. What were your ideas, Hank? Just like, get everybody to fart at it? Yeah.

Just yell really loud. Oh, naming the. Naming the. Hurricane Bad Things. Good things. No, sponsoring it. Sponsoring it. Yes.

I want to name it Bad Things so everyone would be afraid of it. You wanted to bring in like a donation element where you could text the hurricane. Yeah. And then it would automatically donate. Hurricane Walmart. This is actually on the Barclay Gold episode. But you said today that they should figure out

a way to send the hurricane to the Amazon. And that was, I think, the most. Divert it. Why not? Like, build a wall. Yeah, build a wind wall. Probably shouldn't say that. No, you can't do that.

And the Cape Verde Islands are going to pay for it. Sup PMT boys, especially our sweet prince Liam. I don't know if you're doing guys on the ship tonight. But this is an urgent inquiry. A coworker of mine just revealed to us that she requires her husband to pee sitting down every time. Not just late night sitting pees. Every pee is a sit pee.

She even checks the trash can next to the toilet to make sure there are no splatters because she can always tell. Yep, that's a fact. Bad aim. Some of the fellas in the office are absolutely appalled and asked for my advice on whether or not it would be over the line to have an intervention for this woman's

husband despite having never spoken to him in their lives. As a woman, would that that would never subject her husband to such restrictions, I need to know if taking their side and telling them to intervene would break the girl code. First of all, I just love the idea that there is just a group of fellas in the office that are all riled up about some girl that's making your husband pee sitting down.

And they're getting really mad about it as a collective unit. Here's the thing. In life, there are some people you will come across that just like to be told what to do. And so to interrupt that, I guarantee you this guy probably is like, you know what? I kind of like it.

When my wife tells me, I have to sit down and take a piss. Like when he takes a pee standing up, he's getting a drill in the rush. Right, exactly. So right, right. So you just got to leave him alone. Like he probably likes to have, he probably has his sweaters laid out for him by his wife.

He probably has his dinner plans set for months in advance. He likes order. He likes someone else telling him what to do. You've got to let those people live. Yeah, honestly, I wouldn't have a problem being told to. Sometimes it's nice to do. If I'm tired in the middle of the night, sometimes I'll sit down to pee.

But that's because I choose to do it, so I feel fine about it. Being told to sit down and pee all the time feels like something that you would agree to only if there were just a lot of other bigger fish to fry out there for you. And he's got shitty aim. I mean, dude, if he's hitting the trash can, come on, dude. What are you, like seven?

Also, maybe figure that out. Maybe she beat him in fantasy football last year, and this was about that they had. That'd be great. Great transition. Hey, boys, now that football season is back, it's time to start focusing on my fantasy team. I usually use the pickup line to guys,

can you help me set my lineup to just start conversation? But I have been getting terrible recommendations in the past seasons. How do I tell a football guy from an amateur, and what do you think is a fair trade for a guy who gets my team all the way to the playoffs? I'll tell you what, if you really want your team to succeed, you have to have the advantage of knowledge,

of superior knowledge, and you have to be willing to educate yourself, which is why I listen to the fantasy footballers, and I downloaded the fantasy life app from Matthew Berry. Yeah. Oh, wait, shit, that's not the name of Hank's podcast. I know, I was scrolling, Hank. I totally forgot the name of his podcast.

The fantasy football. Is it so meaningless in my life? Yeah. PFT actually named it, so he remembers. Fantasy football. I remember us having some different names for it, Hank. We came up with a bunch of them, and Hank. No, everyone, we have a live draft tomorrow night.

It's true. Live draft. That was actually, it was just a good question. No, but it was a great segue for us to plug your podcast. I appreciate that, but that truly was not why. Your success is our success. That is the truth. It's your truth.

So you guys podcast more than mine. No, it's not. I don't even get followed by the account. That's fucked up. That's true. It's fucked up. And the bigger Hank gets at this, the less time he spends with us.

Yeah, right. Everyone download Hank's app. The more mistakes he makes on this show. It's perfect. Hank, what time is your draft tomorrow? The draft. Nobody cares about your fantasy team. Fair enough.

All right, we'll see everyone Friday. Love you, guys. I'll be coming for your love, OK? Take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me. Needless to say, I won't say it, it's about me, it's all right, I'll wait, it's about a word, my life is OK, say it up to me, I surrender to be safe and sorry. Take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me. Take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me.