Pardon My Take - Jim Harbaugh, Training Camp Week, And The Mt Rushmore Of Things We Don't Understand

Episode Date: August 5, 2019

Training Camp week is here and we have Coach Harbaugh on the show after embarrassing ourselves in his Golf tournament. PFT survived his rugby weekend and who's back of the week including Brady's contract and crazy Lolla videos (2:28 - 19:21). Mt Rushmore of things we don't understand (19:21 - 40:27). Coach Jim Harbaugh joins the show to talk about the return of Football, what this season means for his team, how he does everything (EVERYTHING) on Excel, and the "look" his brother has over him (40:27 - 79:51). Segments include hurt or injured Antonio Brown's feet, Stay Woke Larry Johnson, new segment Melo Dramatic, and a drunk idea.  We're going to Milwaukee tuesday and want to watch Hard Knocks at an AWL's house. Email [e-mail] can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, Training Camp Week is finally here. We have Coach Jim Harbaugh on the show. Haven't talked to him in a couple years. We also get a vintage Harbaugh story, something I don't think people know. I think we actually have new facts about Jim Harbaugh on today's show.

We also have Mount Rushmore of Things We Don't Understand. We have Who's Back of the Week and a bunch of other stuff before we get to it. Pardon my take is brought to you by the Cash App, the number one finance app in the App Store. Cash App is the most powerful way to send, spend, and save. It's connected to the free cash card, the only debit card with boosts. Just select a boost in your Cash App, then instantly save it some of your favorite places like 10% at Chipotle, or $1 off at all coffee shops. They're always adding new boosts, so check yours often.

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Now in the street there is violence, and then a lot of stuff will have to be done. No pistol hangers are washing, and then I can't live all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna run down to electric revenue, and then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're gonna run down to electric revenue. It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports. Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now, put in code BARSTOOL, you get $5 for free, $5 to ASPCA. Today is Monday, August 5th, and welcome to Training Camp Tour.

This is one of my favorite weeks of the year. It's like grit week, this week, the week, Super Bowl week, Super Bowl week is pretty cool. The week after Christmas, rivalry week, whatever week. It's always rivalry week, depending on March Madness, but yes, this is up there. This is one of my top two out of the, all of those are in my top two weeks of the year, but I love Training Camp Tour. We go to Baker Mayfield's RV, we hang out there, meet with the OG of Training Camp Week, Jim Harbaugh, and Matt Patricia.

Matt Patricia, and so we're also going back out this week. We are going to Green Bay on Wednesday, if you're there, look out for us. We tried to get something with the Bears going, we couldn't fit into their schedule. We'll keep trying, but we have more Training Camp Week coming. We were in, so last week we were in Cleveland in Detroit. We also golfed in Jim Harbaugh's, I think it's his annual golf tournament, where it's basically a bunch of boosters and Michigan people. I don't think we've ever, like usually when we go places, we don't look like we belong.

We've never been more out of place than we were at this tournament. There were, I think the Wilpons were there. Everyone was wearing a Michigan polo. We were wearing florals, Hank golfed in jeans. Yeah, that was a look. We played a scramble. It was a scramble tournament, and we had Tony Shuffler as our fourth. We got a video coming on Tuesday.

I'm not going to give it away, but can I give away the interaction I had with Coach After? That's not giving it away. I mean, we suck at golf. Everyone knows we suck. After we came off the course, Coach Harbaugh was like, how'd you guys do? And I said, plus one. And he looked at me and said, no, no, no, not your score, your team's score. And I said, yeah, yeah.

We were plus one with a scramble. And I've never seen more disgust in my life. Oh, Coach expects excellence from everybody around of it all times. The winner was like minus 16. But what's weird is we've hung out around him enough where he should probably pick up on the fact that we're not really athletes. Correct. But I guess football guys, guys. Football guys, guys.

We're not football guys. Guys, we're not dudes yet to borrow a phrase from the defensive coordinator. Yes. But yeah, it was a lot of fun. I don't think I hit a single good shot. That's not even exaggeration. I think all of my shots could be ranked from poor to you should be executed on the fairway for the shot. Yeah.

Yeah. Your shots were, you know, I feel like you might have just ran out of time though. Yes. The rain came. Well, that's true. We only played through 14 holes. Yeah. So who knows?

I could have turned it on. I could have found my stroke on the back. I did the class four. Yeah. I did the class of where I had like four good shots. And then after the fourth good shot, I was like, you know what, I don't really want to play any more golf. Honestly, I think 75% of my shots were out of bounds. That's not an exaggeration.

I just hate golfed and jeans. I haven't played golf in years. It's fine. We looked great. So that's coming Tuesday. You can see our video with shot tracer new technology. It's going to be interesting. I bet he is not on Tuesday, but.

Oh, when is it coming? This week. This week. This week. Sometime this week. This week. This week. Get ready.

Yes. So training camp week. It came at a perfect time. Hashtag this week. There's nothing going on in the sports world. We've disagreed. Okay. I played rugby this weekend.

Oh, yeah. Everybody was talking about it. That's right. I got ran over like a Laurent Landry and Brandon Jacobs. Did you finish second? We finished second in our group. So perfect. So beautiful.

I'm going to make myself a trophy for first place of the second place. Oh, that's actually another part we went on coach Harbaugh's podcast after you. And you remember this PFT because we, I think he brought up rugby and I was like, yeah, USA is awesome. We finished second and he started asking me questions about rugby. It's kind of a passion of mine. You just looked at me like you motherfucker. Yeah.

It was a fun weekend. But I do. I'm going through that experience right now where I'm finding different parts of my body that I didn't even know existed that are now sore. Like I have, I have abs somewhere underneath all this fat and all these abs are somehow all strain. Don't appropriate culture. Cause I, dude, you want to see my stomach?

No, you're not fat. We don't have to do this. Look at, look at that right there. That's just a tum tum. That's a little tummy tum. Okay. Well, my tum tum is sore. My tum tum is very sore today.

And it was fun. I'm just, I'm very excited that I did not get concussed or break any bones. Correct. Like that, you know, that is a fucking victory. Yes. I don't know if my dick works yet. No, you texted us on late Saturday night. You're like, didn't get hurt.

Didn't get hurt. Congrats. Yeah. I didn't, I didn't tell you about the game, what I did in the game. If we won or lost, I'm just like, not hurt. It's a very relatable thing once you get to past 30 where it's like anytime you do a sport, it's not wins and losses. It's, did you get hurt?

And if you didn't, then you won. Also big news coming out of the weekend. Actually, this is probably the biggest news. Baker may feel a drink of beer fast. Yes. Shock on it with his teeth, with his teeth. Yes. His bit right in.

I've never tried little hezzy hay. Yeah. Where he sipped one and we're like, no, Baker, you got to do it for real. Then boom, he owns Cleveland. Yes. Just being in Cleveland last week and being on his RV, that town is Baker's town. Yeah. It's pretty sick.

I almost call them Blaker, by the way, when he, he's not, he's definitely not play. No, he's not. That doesn't mean that we don't like him. He's, he's as far from a Blake as he can get. Yeah. He's, he's probably a little too competitive. He's a Travis. Yeah.

Although Blake Griffin. Did you see him being wet from three? Yeah. He put out that. I don't know what it is about that court where every NBA player goes and plays in New York City. I think those rims might be like too big, very forgiving. Everyone hits every shot.

Very soft rims. I got to play up there. Yeah. All right. It's also the Hall of Fame. Hall of Fame. Yes. Yeah.

Amazing. They should have him working. I need Ed Reed bust holograms when I go places. Best bust by far ever, I think, with his hair and the beard. Wow. Shots. Shots hard at Phillip, Phillip Rivers. He has some pretty good ones.

He does have nine very good ones. So yeah, Ed Reed, it was awesome, like just reading the stories about Ed Reed and champ Bailey. I actually have a take here, Tony Gonzalez. He has the ultimate unfortunate timing for a tight end because he was the greatest tight end of all time. And then Gronk came along and the tight end position has completely changed where tight ends are basically wide receivers now.

And I'm not saying that he gets lost in the shuffle, but doesn't it feel like if you if we, you know, in 2011, it was a no brainer Tony Gonzalez, best time of all time to have someone come in right at the tail end of his career and be better than him. I mean, there are a few players out there like Gates and Gronk, right? I would say like, yeah, he was like, there were some new tight ends that might even eclipse what he did in terms of at least the stats. But when he was starting to play, there was no, that position didn't exist in its current form.

Right. And then everyone forgot about Kevin Mawai. There was a lot of tweets that are like, check out these guys, champ Bailey, Tony Gonzalez, Ed Reed, who was the other one who was on there? There was an old guy, right? Well, Kevin Mawai was all bowling the Broncos owner. Yeah. There's someone else.

But yeah, I love seeing Berman up there. He's the, he now is the emcee for forever in Canton, which is great. And yeah, it was cool. I mean, the Hall of Fame, the speeches I tuned in for a little bit of it. They're all kind of the same, but it's still cool to just see these guys, you know, reach this point and put on that gold jacket. By the way, NFL having gold jackets just trumps everyone else. Yeah, it's really good.

You can't, you can't one up the gold jacket. No, you cannot. Hank, were you, how did you feel about Kevin Mawai kind of emasculating the Jets by, by thanking coach Belichick for making him so great? Love it. That was that. You have to, you have to feel pretty embarrassed if you're the Jets and one of your best player gets up there and he thanks his rival's coach for making him

better before he thanks any of his own coaches, which I don't know if he even thanked his own. That might be totally made up, but I'm going to run with it because this is this is a take that I'm just shooting right now. Ty Law. I, yeah, Ty Law was the other guy. But yeah, yeah, Kevin Mawai was like, I want to thank Bill Belichick playing against him, coached me up to be the best player that I could ever be.

There you go. Yeah. But it was why you don't want to hire a good coach, by the way, because he'll make your other, your opponent's best players better. The, watching the Hall of Fame, uh, induction made me for a brief moment think that Chris Carter, when he said he'd rather be in the Hall of Fame than have a Super Bowl ring, might have been on to something. And then I, then as soon as the season starts, I'm like, no, Super Bowl.

The thing about a Hall of Famer is like, you get that speech and in that speech, you are the only man on earth. Correct. You are the biggest man there is. You're the, the Alpha's Alpha for 25 to, uh, an hour and a half. If you're Ray Lewis and you're just going on about child trafficking or whatever. And he was, um, but yeah, you are the only man on earth for that speech. And then afterwards, I feel like it's just like a big drop off.

Yeah. You have to watch other men talk about their other man. And you have to then go every year and sit in your gold jacket and bake in the sun and those leather chairs, just so everyone's like, Oh yeah. He's a Hall of Famer. Yeah. Watch another man unveil his bust. Uh, all right.

I mean, let's go to, uh, who's back a week before we do that barstoolgold.com slash PMT, we have a new episode bonus episode coming Thursday, Dom Brown, defensive coordinator for Michigan, uh, is on the episode. The guy who created be a dude. So he, he, we went through the, the origin of be a dude. It actually started as be a guy, but then he, yeah, he's the dude father. Yes. He's the dude father.

We also are going to do a little something special for all of our gold listeners and subscribers. We're going to do a mail bag. So if you have questions, PMT intern at barstoolsports.com, we're probably going to record it tomorrow afternoon. Uh, so email us, email us questions. Anything you want to ask PMT intern at barstoolsports.com. That's the barstool gold episode coming Thursday.

We'll answer those questions on the episode. And AMA basically, yeah, pretty much we're tailoring it for people who have even been kicked off of Reddit. So this is your only chance. There we go. All right. Hank, who's back? Um, I was back is Thomas Edward Patrick Brady, Jr.

Good. He signed a two year extension. He's 42 years old. Did you wish him a happy birthday? Uh, no, I don't know. Personally, I feel like it's kind of a, to wish someone a birthday. Tom, if you're listening, which I'm sure you are happy birthday. Okay.

I've wanted to wait till we're on a personal level. Uh, okay. I feel like it's, you're listening to the show. Julian, yeah. Play this part for Tom. Pause your hype video, Julian, and then go put your shirt on. Yeah. Go knock on Tom's door.

Tell him Hank has a message. So this is going to be no take your shirt back off. First year and his 20, 20 years that he's making $20 million. First, I, I, there is, we're going to do the Mount Rushmore of, uh, things we don't understand. I think Tom Brady's contract is one of those things. Yeah. He just, every year it makes no sense.

Like, yeah, he's not usually taking less. He takes a break cut every year, but then he gets paid. I, I would love for someone to explain. It's almost like the U S women's soccer team. Like how much does he actually make every single year? I will see. He converts a lot of it into a signing bonus sometimes, but it helps. Like this is the Tom Brady model that every team should follow.

Which is get a quarterback whose wife is a supermodel. So he doesn't have, he doesn't have to worry about making an extra $3 million each year. Right. Right. So signed to how long of an extension? Uh, it's a two year extension through the 2021 season and it will pay him $23 million this year and $8 million boost over what he was scheduled to make.

And somehow that helps with the cap situation. It frees up cap space. That's another one. He's got a big hand. The NFL salary cap. Yeah. Definitely don't get it. Um, me being washed up is also back.

I know last week we talked about me getting my first two day hangover yesterday. I played in a with ball tournament and lost to kids that were like eight, eight years younger than me, way younger. Shout out to Ryan and Thomas Connor, but that alone, by the way, yeah. Shout out Ryan and Thomas Connor. Shout out that alone. You saying, I told them when they beat me, I was like, you guys give us a show.

Give us a shout out. Wait, boom, there's a shout out. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, you got to win the whole thing. And they did. Tommy and Rai Rai, uh, you saying they're eight years younger. My initial reaction was like, Hank, you lost the 14 year olds. I was like, wait, Hank's 26. Yeah.

Fuck. And then, and then afterwards I played like pool basketball and spike ball and I woke up today. Like I couldn't move. Yep. That's why you just got to do that. Yeah. It's tough.

That's the, it wasn't until, it wasn't until 26 or I was like, Oh shit. Like everything's, everything's that I'm feeling older. It's all, all hitting me fast. Can I suggest one of those copper fit bracelets that Brett Favre uses? I actually have these, you see these bracelets. These are good luck Himalayan bracelets. Cause I was doing so bad in gambling. No, it has not.

But got to try anything before football. Okay. Yeah. Well, they're Himalayan. They're Himalayan. I think they wear them when they walk up Mount Everest. Oh yeah. That's been very good luck.

Yeah. Exactly. Really good luck. Uh, that's it. All right. PFT. What do you got? Uh, my who's back of the week is Colt McCoy.

Oh, Colt McCoy is back cause the R words just released their quarterback death. Sorry. You recall this off season. They not only signed, uh, well they drafted Dwayne Haskins in the first round and then they brought in, uh, the guy from Denver, whose name is so boring, whose game is so boring. I don't even want to say it, but his name is Case Keenum and they're paying him a

lot of money too. Uh, and Colt McCoy is now at the top of the Washington R words death charge. Wow. Which is a huge mistake for Jay Gruden because Colt McCoy, Jay Gruden wouldn't be where he is right now without Colt McCoy because McCoy is the ultimate quarterback to have as like your backup. And then when he comes in because of an injury, he wins 40% of his games and then it's injured and that yeah, but then everybody's like, Oh, coach Gruden

won 40% of his games with Colt McCoy as the starting quarterback. Right. We got to keep him around. This guy's got magic in a bottle here. Yeah. Uh, so yeah. So Colt McCoy is back. He's like a, the less sexy version of Ryan Fitzpatrick.

He pops up every couple of years, has a good game. Uh, he's like Ryan Fitzpatrick. If he was cleaned up for like a job interview or something like that, clean shaving, clean shaving. Yeah. Yeah. Ryan Fitzpatrick. Yeah.

Colt McCoy is back though. Okay. Is that it? Yeah. I'm just doing one. All right. I got, uh, who's back the week, uh, Lala videos. I don't know if you guys saw all the Lala videos this weekend, but holy shit.

Security was not great. And essentially every teenager in, uh, the Midwest figured out that they can just bum rush gates and get in for free. That it looked like madness, absolute madness. Um, I'm playing the organizer of the area of 51 thing for just convincing people everywhere, get a big group and run through a fence. Some of these kids were jumping fences and I was just shocked by their athleticism. Because I, every time I've jumped a fence in my life, I'm like, this is going

to be a broken ankle. At some point. Well, so every like group of friends has the one guy that's really good at climbing. Yes. Like maybe wasn't the best athlete at like conventional sports back in high school, but for some reason, if there's like a big tree around a tree guy, yeah, the guy will get to the top of the tree in five seconds.

Right. This is like, this is a Superbowl right here. And he's climbing the Lala fence. Yes. And then, but then they would just bum rush the fence and it would all fall over and then there would be one, like maybe a little overweight kid who got caught by the cops and I always felt for that kid. Yeah, that sucked a lot.

Well, that's great for this kid was the kid with one leg. Yeah, but then he got let in. Oh, really? Yeah. It was like, it was such a 2019 story. I think some rapper let him in like VIP the next day, which is so perfect. But yeah, I mean, that's, that's a perfect move. If you're an out of shape police officer and you see everyone like rushing

through a fence, like, well, I got to get one. So it's like a hyena picking off the weakest of like going out for the biggest kid out there. And then well, the crazy thing is they grab one and they'd hold that one while kids just ran right by it. And be like, we got him. This guy, this guy's a ring later. He'll tell us how they got through this fence, even though we just

watched him bum rush it. Also the Cubs are back because they only win games at home and they swept the burrows. Sorry, Christian Yelich. Uh, all right. Also, who's back in the week? Sam Decker. Yes.

Sam Decker signed a contract with Loco. Uh, locomotive Kuban. I love it. Um, I think they're Moscow based and, uh, yeah, he signed a lucrative deal. Um, Decker watches over Decker watches over. And I think the, what's the hashtag? Go Loco. Yeah, I think it's go local.

I'm, I'm going to change it. I think we are for Loco. Yes, or we are for Loco. The thing that I like about, uh, European teams like this, I was looking it up. I'm pretty sure there's a soccer team that has the same name. So basically make it as easy as possible. I like it.

Yeah. That's very nice. So it'll be like, it'd be like if the, if, yeah, like Pittsburgh, but the penguins and the pirates were also the Steelers. I think the city of Pittsburgh, we'd actually go for that. They would 100% yes. Just like, go stillers stillers. Uh, okay.

Who's our, our, our Mount Rushmore things we don't understand. Mount Rushmore of things you don't understand. This one will be good because we'll probably get a lot of people, uh, with things that we miss because there's a lot of things we don't understand. We're not very smart guys. Who's first? Or here's something, the snake draft. Yeah.

I think it's UPFT. I go first on Mondays. Yeah. Cause I think I go first on Fridays. So I go last on Mondays. Okay. Yes. All right.

That's a lot of pressure for the very first one. My first pick is going to be math, just math in general. Okay. PEMDAS. Good one. I had, I ordered of operations. I get that one. Well, I don't parentheses, exponent, multiplication, division, addition, subtraction.

Okay. Okay. So that's the one thing I understand about math and it's letters. I had, I had, I had calculus on there. So I agree. Oh, there's a lot of shit. There's a lot of shit that I don't understand about math. I was so bad at math.

I never even saw the word calculus on any syllable I ever had. Same, same. Never even touched calculus. I don't even know what calculus is. Yeah. I just know it's way beyond my frame of reference. I've never been in the same room as calculus. No.

I did one, I did one day of calculus in college, dropped it immediately. Was it by accident? No, it was like, I was like, Oh, like you did algebra in high school. You supposed to do calculus. No. That's not how it might have been precalculated. Yeah. Whatever it was, I was in it for a day.

I was like, no, this is not it. It's, you do, you do algebra in high school and then you quit math. Yeah, I did algebra two twice. I did a sequel to yes, to a sequel. Right. Yeah, math, fuck math. My number one will be how airplanes stay in the air. Okay, good one.

Magic, thrust, wishes that people usually just say thrust. I don't know. I honestly, I honestly think I could fly an airplane. That's one of the fantasies that I've had is like, if if the pilot becomes incapacitated during the flight, yeah, you could, you could like turn and then and then the flight, it gets on the PA system goes, does anybody here know how to fly a plane? Nobody does if it goes for like longer than 10 seconds without people raising

their hands. Yep. I'm going to raise my own be like, I have flown numerous flight simulators. I played the top gun video game. I've seen top gun like 10 times. Yep. I think I could get the plane. You just go, you go close to landing.

You, you go back on the thruster while also going down on the altitude slowly. Yes. Well, that's your thrust controls your height. Correct. So I need to turn my thrust up a little bit. But yeah, I would, they'd probably just kick me out of the cockpit because I would say too many top gun quotes and laugh about it. Remember to lower the wheels.

That's one of the people, a lot of people forget that. I would say like permission to buzz the tower, like nine times. And to be like, sir, there are 300 people on board. Please just land the plane. It's like Robin's racing. Too close to Mrs. Cruise movies. Switching guns.

Yeah. All right. My, so I have two here. I'll go with first one, the dark web. Do not understand the dark web whatsoever. I've, a couple of people have tried to explain to me, still don't get it. I just know that we swim at the very, very, we swim in like the top six inches of the web. Yeah.

And there's, it goes a thousand leagues under the sea. Yeah. We're, we're dark web adjacent. Yeah. No, I don't even think so. We're above it. Yeah. But I don't think we would be, I think there's a whole web in between us and the dark web.

I know that the word tour is involved somehow. Yeah. In VPNs and you got to be on 4chan. But this right now, I'm scaring myself just saying it. Just code in general. Like people that they write code and then that somehow looks like a website. It's crazy. It's fucking crazy.

I'm just going to type a bunch of letters. The internet. It's math. It's basically it's an extension of math just without numbers. It's fucking crazy. All right. My second pick is going to be what is a catch in the NFL. Still don't understand.

I had that too. Still don't understand what a catch in the NFL is. I feel like it's getting more confusing, not less confusing. And yeah, I someday someday, I think we'll get it. You have to make a football act, put an act comment to the game of football. Yeah. I mean, hey, if if Zach Miller can break a leg in the in the Saints end zone and in his like broken leg lay on the ground for three seconds and still not have a

big catch, I still I will never understand. He should have carried the ball out of the hospital. Yeah. In the wheelchair with him. All right. Hank, your pick. I will go with language, like how languages and words get invented. Really, even after an interview with a guy that invents him.

Hank, I had this one too. Just how many, how did all of them get created? Right. How did like one person speak one thing and then, you know, two miles down the road, someone else speaking something totally different. Yeah. It's fucking wild. It is interesting.

Like the first caveman to make a noise and he's like rock. And the other caveman is like, no, I didn't. What did you just say? I don't get it. No, I didn't. And the first I live in this cave and the first people that became bilingual. Yeah. Like, how did they learn to translate what other people were saying?

Yeah. You know what? Probably through love. Yeah. I was about to say, I think the universal language, I think the first language is like the front of some of the first words ever uttered were just like, hey, you want to fuck? Yeah, I'm horny.

Yeah. Let's fuck. Yeah. That's pretty much how it happened. Uh huh. All right. Had to be PFT. You have two.

Okay. Uh, so for my two, I'm going to go with the NBA salary cap trades and contract designations. Okay. I feel like wodes just makes up some of them. Like once every couple of weeks, we'll just make up a new term and throw it out there just so that people will pretend that they get what he's talking about. Mm hmm.

Um, there are way too many of them and my brain is way too small to understand them. Uh, my next one is why Drake is cool. Who? I don't get why he puts out bangers. I don't get why Drake is pot. I don't really like his music. Okay. No offense.

Really? No offense. Yikes. Not a Drake guy. Really? Yeah. Never listen. I don't think he's a talented rapper.

Unless it was new album this weekend, of course not. I mean, I'm not a Drake stand, but he has some fucking fire songs. They're all slow. No, he's low T. Drake is very low T. Okay. I got an emotional guy. That's all right.

Yeah, that's fine. I'm a guy's guy, but he's got some bangers too. Yeah. I mean, he's got some certified. Oh, give me two bangers. Name two bangers by Drake. I mean, on one, on one. What about the last one that he released last winter dance or nice for what?

That was fucking awesome. There's any songs without one in them? Nice for what? Nice for what was great, but I don't think he's a good rapper. He does the thing where he rhymes the same word with the same word a lot. He's kind of slow. He mumbles. He's got low T.

Actually, he's kind of like me. What about God's? Me and Drake have a lot in common. Now that I'm saying that loud, God's plan, dude. God's plan. That's a good one. I always like my mom in my bed. I'm so what song is that?

God's plan. Okay. I like God's plan. Yeah, you like Drake. He has one banger. I don't understand why he's Drake. All right. Hank, your pick.

Jimmy from Degrassi. You also never saw Degrassi. Great show. Uh, I never saw Degrassi traffic. Traffic. Where does it start? Where does it start? Where does it end?

Got it. Why? Like, where does it start too many cars? Ultimately, ultimately, but if you're driving straight, like how I just don't get it. I don't get it. How traffic forms. No, I, I agree with you on that one. Hank, it's just, it's just too many people driving at once.

Yeah. Where does it start? Once there are too many people on the road. So there are different points where people can enter the road. And then when a lot of people enter at the same time, but there's one in single lanes, yeah, I don't, I don't get it. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. We agree. Um, all right. Okay. Hmm. I'm going to go with, so I have my last two. I don't understand, uh, why people don't like the dab. I never will understand that.

Seems like something that's just so innocent and fun, but people hate the dab. So I don't understand why people hate the dab. And then my last one is going to be, uh, I don't, I still don't understand Bitcoin. I don't think I'll ever understand Bitcoin. I don't understand the blockchain. It's a blockchain. When people say Bitcoin takes up more energy than like all of Iceland. That makes no sense to me.

So how does that, how my understanding is that in order to make Bitcoins, they mine them in order to make a Bitcoin, you have to verify other Bitcoins. Right. But how, so it takes electricity. It's the whole thing is just so confusing to me. And then they, all the other alternate coins and just everything. I mean, I own, I own Bitcoin because I didn't, it was a total FOMO thing. And I bought it at its peak.

I think I bought it at like 14,000. Yeah, it's a good investment, but yeah, really good investment, but I will never understand Bitcoin. I'm just hoping that at some point, uh, they'll be like, Hey, you're a millionaire because you bought Bitcoin. Yeah. Well, that's the thing about stocks like that is like, you might as well buy them. And just in case they shoot way, way, way, way, way up.

I mean, the stock market in general is something that no one understands. Right. It's just, we could just say the economy. People just push papers around and then money gets made. But what I don't get about Bitcoin is in theory, as computers get better, it'll get easier to make new Bitcoins or gain new Bitcoins. So wouldn't the price go down? And then what is everyone going to have Bitcoin eventually?

And then how do you also lose your Bitcoin? You just can't log in and then boom, your Bitcoin's gone. I've heard so many stories about people accidentally tipping like pizza drivers too much in Bitcoin that I feel like the best move is actually to just become a pizza delivery driver and just hope that one point you get tipped in Bitcoin. Yeah, that's true. That is actually the new, that's the new Bitcoin. Those are the new billionaires.

Uh, okay. Hank, your last pick. Oh, this is tough. Um, I mean, I'll keep it simple. I don't understand taxes. I don't understand why taxes come out of my paycheck every week. And it's like, Oh, you're getting like half your money. And then at the end of the year, you have to pay more taxes.

Yep. I don't get why it's like we're going to take taxes out of your paycheck, but then at the end of the year, you have to pay more taxes. Well, did you actually pay taxes this year? I'm on a delay. Okay. We're on a delay. No, we're in October, we're in October 15th podcast.

That's for sure. You probably are going to get money back. That's exciting for the last six years that you haven't paid them. No, I didn't last year. You, you, you didn't do your taxes at the worst possible time, like when you would have gotten money back and now you're going to reach a point where you start making money and you're going to have to pay more taxes. That sucks.

But why does it come out of your paycheck still? I don't know. Medicare and all that shit. So they want to make sure they want to make sure that you pay enough tax state. Yes. State, local, municipal, income, the death tax, all the taxes, all the tax, every one of them, the tax everything, but you should sugar sugar, alcohol, yeah, sin.

Everything gets taxed these days, or you could just become a church. Yeah, you become a church. You don't have to pay you. Yeah, nonprofits. That's another one. Yeah, what nonprofit? So we should start a nonprofit like the NFL nonprofit organization, but they make $10 billion a year.

They get donations. Yeah. What does that mean? People give them money. Who are slander fans? What do you mean? We don't know. I agree.

I agree. It's rich people that feel bad about being rich. What does nonprofit mean? They don't make a profit, but they do. That's why they pay. That's why they don't pay Roger Goddell $700 million a year. Yeah. The NFL, well, even out their balance sheet, the NFL used to be a nonprofit.

I think they recently changed, but yeah, it was pretty hilarious that they were a nonprofit and it was just like, uh, we, we donated all this money to commissioner Goddell for sucking off the side of that. I still don't understand how people, uh, like balance their checkbook. Those people are crazy. I don't like online. That's not a real round. I don't know.

I don't know. Old people do it. I don't know where to go. I don't know what balancing my checkbook means. No idea. No idea. I just know that once a month, I, oh, that's the email that I get from Bank of America that says you have, you forgot to balance your check.

You have low funds in your debit account. Please balance your check. That's Bank of America balancing it for me. Yeah. All right. PFC your last pick. Okay. My last pick is going to be.

I'm going to go with the rules to craps. Oh, I've learned craps every time, probably six or seven times that I've been to a casino and I've forgotten it instantly the next morning I wake up. I don't know. I have very selective amnesia and it just is whenever I'm around a craps table, it's the fastest way to lose money every single time. I've heard it's the fastest way to make money, but then you lose it. I'm very exciting though.

Yeah. Cause you start everyone around you, you feel like a rock star when you get to dice and you start making money and you're like, I'm crushing your hand and then one roll and you're like, well, there goes all my money. Yeah. I just know there's a come line. Yeah. Uh, Bubba, do you have Bubba said he had a list of things that he keeps, uh, of

things he doesn't understand. We're going to make him read it for honorable mentions. I have a couple of honorable mentions as well. Uh, how coaches don't foul up three under 10 seconds. That one makes no sense. I've got, uh, people who get turned on by feet. Yes. Yeah.

Foot fetish guys. I'll get that one at all. The Met Gala don't understand what it is. It's like a nonprofit fashion. Yeah. Pretty much magnets. How do they work in general? But like that, that's like people made fun of them for that, but that's an

important question. It is like, how do magnets work? I don't know. I just put a piece of metal next to something and it sticks to it and is there a big, there's a big one in the North Pole. Seems like magic to me. Makes no sense like wizardry. Why does hair grow where it grows?

Oh, okay. That's a good one. Um, cruise ships, aircraft carriers. You want to talk about planes? Like how the fuck does all that metal just sit in, sit in the middle of buoyancy? People just say buoyancy. I'm like, okay, cool. But like that's so much shit that just sitting in the middle of the ocean.

Two words. Water displacement. Oh yeah. Yeah. Boins. As a guy that's seen Top Gun many times, I know a lot about aircraft carriers. How, why don't they build the whole plane out of the little black box? True.

And also it's younger brother. How come you park in a driveway and drive in a parkway? Mm hmm. That one's good. Class of jokes. Why, why can't we get a new college football game? What do you mean? Well, like why can't what was a video game?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why can't we get it? Yeah, I don't know. They even did a tease, a cock tease in the new Madden where you get to play the semifinal and the champion. Eddobannon is the reason. Yeah. But someone figure it out.

It feels like that's one of those ones. Like the day after Super Bowl should be a holiday. Yeah. We should just have a new college football game. How about this? Here's a good if I ever get the coats of that. Holy shit. You take fucking high thinking about it.

What's the casino? The casinos in Grand Theft Auto. Yeah. Why don't they just have an arcade in Grand Theft Auto and on the game, you get to play the new NCAA football. Right. I was thinking, why don't they just do the last one and just keep updating it. And it's just total new.

It's a new game, but it's under the 2014 game. Another one I had was the different tournaments in British soccer and which one means which. Oh, I know those. I don't get that one. I know I don't care to know. By the way, swans are back. They won their first game.

I have the ending to the Sopranos where it just cuts to black as Tony's about to get shot or maybe not shot. Yeah, we get killed. Don't get that one. The plot of the movie Memento. Yeah. Yep. And Interstellar.

What happened to Brendan Fraser? He's still around. But like what happened to him? I read an article. It just what happened to him? He just kind of he was the guy. I think he's he's one of those guys that was like, I made a lot of money. So I'm fine.

Just no, I think he got broke making a meme cash. No, I got a divorce. He's like broke a shit. Yeah. I what happened to him like he was great. I don't know what would ever divorce Brendan Fraser. Like that guy should still be around. He should still be doing shit.

How come LeBron James has never had a serious injury despite playing so many games at such a large size? Interesting. Also, how come LeBron James gets excited about when his kid is good at stuff? Interesting. I don't think we'll ever know the answer to that one. Nope. Yeah, probably something to do.

He's a narcissist. Probably. Yeah, that's right. And he's just excited because it's his name. Yeah. Uh, all right, Bubba, give us your list. Um, kombucha. Oh, good one.

Uh, who the fuck knows about that? Like I've had people like explain it to me too. And it makes me like more confused. That's just a classic case of one person said this is good for you and will make you shit out of all the pounds and then everyone drinks it. Also, if there's something that you can brew yourself in your own home, then people will try it and then they'll pretend to get really into it because they can make it themselves.

It's also one of those things where, uh, I'm convinced there's a list of things that just start on the West coast as pranks to see if everyone else will do it. And that's one of them. That's like, we'll just start saying kombucha is good and watch these fucking idiots in the rest of the country. We'll just pay way too much for this shitty tea while we're not even drinking it ourselves. That's the stuff that puts good bacteria in your butt, right?

Who knows? Who knows? Uh, almond milk. Also. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Almonds don't have nipples.

Yeah. That's true. Um, the words where it's like, it's two different words, but it's like the same word, like it's spelled the same way, homophones, but there's homonyms, like homonyms, content and content. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's just the language.

Like read in red. Yeah. Yeah. Or like lead in there, there and there. I have trouble with that one too. You're in your batteries. Okay. Um, that's a good one.

Call. Yeah, that's a good one. Are you, are you allowed to throw away batteries in the trash? Yeah, you can now. Okay. Good. That and propane. They've recently allowed you to do that.

You can just throw batteries into a river too. That works. Yeah. And like SD cards, they're like so tiny and they hold like everything we're talking about. That's like, it's like hours worth of footage. Yeah. And it's like a tiny piece of plastic.

It's like the universe. Yeah, I don't get it. Yeah. The universe no one gets. Okay. What about the explanation that the creator of the matrix gives to Keanu Reeves in the matrix? That whole thing, that's wild.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, why, why did, uh, why is Big Bang Theory popular? But the rest of development wasn't, didn't last on TV. Good question. Big Bang Theory. That one makes no sense. Also, and I might get heat on the internet streets for this.

How I met your mother was never really thin. I think it was actually okay, but I never watched it. Yeah, exactly. That's a thing. But I think it was okay. I, I, yeah, I'm going to say it was decent. Okay. Yeah.

I never saw a full episode. Decent. Can people like Neil Patrick Harris? Yeah. What about young Sheldon? Who, who's that? That's the guy from Big Bang Theory, but they made like a prequel. Oh, okay.

Yeah. I guess Sheldon was very popular. So they decided to spin it off. I don't, yeah. I definitely don't understand Big Bang, Big Bang Theory at all. Um, okay. Also, remember family guy got taken off TV for a while and then it had to be brought back.

Uh-huh. That one made no sense to offensive. No, but it was, I remember when family guy first came out, you just had to watch it on DVDs because you're like, Oh yeah. It was on TV and then they just took it off. That along with like the, uh, the poster of the kiss and the poster of Belushi wearing the college sweatshirt. Those are must have.

That was freshman year starter pack at college and a boondock. St. DVD. Yeah. Ninja Turtles pizza. Yes. If you know, if you know, you know. Um, all right.

Should we get to our interview with so a lot of questions, people tweet us, whatever you don't understand. Hopefully we can learn some things. Don't be the guy who's like, Hey, actually, this is how planes stay in the air. Come on, man. You don't know. You don't know that you don't fucking know.

You, I, I'm thinking of you right now. Like you're, you probably went to pilot school and you learned all this shit. Maybe you're an engineer. You, you pretend you know, but at the end of the day, deep down, you don't know. We are onto your game. Harrison Ford, fuck you, dude. You do not know even the pilots that are up in the cockpit. They're just like the whole time.

The airplanes are going, they're like, what the fuck? They pray the whole time to hell. Let's hope this works again. All right. Before we get to Jim Harbaugh. Good boys. What if the guys who made some of the most outrageous R rated comedies like super bad and sausage party decided to make an R rated comedy starring 12 year

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Coach Jim Harbaugh. We now welcome on a recurring guest, front of the program. It is coach Jim Harbaugh. We are in Ann Arbor. We're at his golf tournament. Uh, it's training camp. It's about, is there a training camp week? So we're doing a training camp tour and you haven't opened camp yet, but let's start

there. Uh, what is your favorite part of having the team back together and training camp starting? The favorite part is the smell of the grass, the fresh cut grass when you come out in the morning, the sun rising, the, uh, the cleats clanking on, uh, on the cement as they walk to the field. It's a rebirth. Yeah, there's people that think of January 1st as being the start of the

new year, people that have spouts to Christianity, Catholicism, talk about the birth of Christ. We talk about training camp. The first day of one of trade. That's the rebirth. That's coming out of the womb. Yeah. It's nice in there.

It's nice and warm. Yeah. Yeah. You know, dark and cozy and the real world out into the, out into the light, out into the chaos. Even you sit, like talking about it, you started to sit up a little bit and like a little more. Yeah, a little more excited.

Yeah. Right. Exactly. Everybody's O and O. It's a brand new season. Anything could happen from that point forward. We've talked to a lot of football coaches and it's funny because when we asked them about training camp and what they get excited about, they hardly ever

say anything like visual to us. It's usually like what you said, the smell of the grass, the sound of the cleats, um, Doug Morone was saying the sound of the pads hitting each other. Like it's all this other stuff besides just like what you're looking at. It seems like a very cool time of year for you as a coach, um, going into camp, like when you hear coaches say every spot's up for competition. Is that true? Or is there like, there don't have to be some guys that you, you know, are

going to take certain positions, but like how many of these positions are truly, truly up for grabs? Uh, well, there's, there's something like, like our, take our offense a line. You know, they're pretty cemented. The left tackle, the left guard, Ben Bredesen, Runyon, Cesar Rees, uh, Michael Wayne, he's the right guard. So there's, I mean, there's been a true competition going on for the right tackle, Jalen Mayfield and Andrew Stuber, uh, and both have, have treated

as such over the entire summer. Uh, so there's an example of, um, there, I mean, you still got to come in. You got to be healthy. You got to play well. You got to, you got to do your job. So, uh, but there's, that's the one starting offensive line position. That's, that's truly, you know, a true battle. Yeah.

So year five, this is the year five for you at, uh, Michigan. Um, it's kind of, you got, you're kind of in a weird spot because you have brought Michigan back to relevancy and, you know, maybe a little dark ages for a while there, uh, in the last, you know, decade or so, but not all the way. You haven't gone all the way to winning a big 10 title. Are you, do you hear any outside noise? Do you feel any pressure, uh, from people saying, Hey, are they going to win a big 10 title or are they going to, you know, get into the college playoffs?

All that stuff. We, the, the pressure of, um, we looked at it as a challenge. Um, there's a, my daughter, Katie was working on a little project this morning and it was, um, asked for the definition of a bold beginning. Um, and then she, she starts, um, she starts writing the example was like an elephant charging or something like that is, uh, I go, it's like, it's like your papa, it's like, it's like Jack Harbaugh says, attack each day with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind.

So that's what we're doing. This is a bold beginning. This is a new season and, um, yeah, we've done, uh, we've done a lot of good, including last year and we were co big 10 champions, but we haven't got to be big 10 champions and we haven't made the playoffs and, and, uh, beat Ohio state. So, um, you know, our goal here is to win multiple championships. Um, our goal is to win the next game. Uh, and then the last game for us is, is the, defines the season.

So, uh, we have big goals, big aspirations that that is interesting because the there's not many schools where that is the case where you can have a great year all year, but it's all about the last game. It's all about the last game on the regular season schedule where whoever wins that Ohio state Michigan game, that dictates kind of whether the year was a success or not. Yeah, it, it defines the, the season. Um, but there's also, you know, 11 port games in front of that, that

dictate and define whether you win the big 10 championship and, and whether you go to the playoffs and then the last game to defines the entire season. Yeah. How soon into, into camp, do you know if you've got a special team? Well, I think we've got a special team right now. Um, the, it's a, it's a young and enthusiastic team and, but a very experienced team, um, really good at the quarterback position, really good up front in the offensive line.

Um, I think people are going to be surprised how good we are on the defensive line because we, we lost a few player, uh, quite a few good players. Um, this past season, but we've got some really good young players. I'm excited to see, uh, faster. Maybe the fastest defensive line that we've had, uh, running back position is another good one for us. Even though people don't really, it's not a lot of names that people recognize, but, uh, just, um, couldn't be, couldn't be more excited going

into the season with the guys we've got. We've got the best fullback in the country. True. Ben Mason, he was the winner of the inaugural low man trophy award. Yeah. We created an award for the best fullback in the nation because nobody really takes the time out of their day to respect the fullback position. You kind of brought him to the forefront.

You gave him a lot of carries. He was hurtling people beyond us. When you saw him jumping over people, were you a little bit like Ben, your fullback put your pad level down, run somebody over. No, I love it. Um, I love just about everything he does. He attacks everything, anything and everything. He can't get enough.

He may just, he just, you know, wants to eat up everything. Uh, he is that kind of guy. He's going to be, um, now playing defensive tackle. So he's going to be playing running back and defensive tackle. He's up to about, uh, 272 right now. That's a unit. That is awesome. I hope he's here today.

If he's here, yeah, we should just, I'll call him, get him on. Yeah, he's a much better interview than he accepted the, he, he had an acceptance speech for the trophy. So he, uh, would you never interviewed him? No, no, we haven't interviewed him. That would be true. Yeah. So all right, you're kind of doing that.

Wait, he would've been, he would've got, he would've got even more rocked up than 271, but he, uh, he got, he got, he got a little setback. He got a little sick. He got a little bug over the, over the summer, but I mean, he looks, he looks amazing and he'll get back up. So, so, uh, I actually looked it up before how many times I was trying to figure out how many times you've run the same play in a row, because I think that is, you know, I love old school, big 10 football.

And when you find a running play that works, and this goes back to your Stanford days and the 49ers, you find a running play that works. You're going to keep running it. I found one where you ran eight times in a row against Penn State in 2016, the same running play, just flipping it back and forth. Is there a time when you've done more? Yeah. And how exciting is that when you find that play and you're like, you guys

can't stop it. It's basically Vince Lombardi, the old school, go ahead and try to stop us. We're going to run the same play down your throat. Uh, I think the record is 2009, um, against USC, we ran the same play 13 times in a row. Wow. Just running it over and over. We, we scored.

We scored. Exactly. Exactly. Just running it and knowing, I mean, that's got to be a great feeling when you're sitting there and saying, they cannot stop this play. That's a good feeling. Yeah. It's as good as it gets.

And just keep running it and running it and running it. And then you got a 270 pound rocked up fullback who can help you too. Are you doing the same thing with him that you did with? Was it, uh, Owen, Owen, yeah, Marisa, right? He played both ways back in, well, that was a while ago, huh? 2010, 2010, he was a starting middle linebacker and he was a starting fullback for the, for us at Stanford. Um, 49ers made a guy named Wilta Tukuafu who played some three technique

and fullback. Um, we had Jabril Peppers who played our outside linebacker, Viper safety position, plus he played receiver and running back and Wildcat quarterback. And now Ben Mason paying, playing three technique and running back. I've heard with Owen, you, you wrote a poem about him. That's true to inspire him. Do you remember what the poem was? Uh, it was a day in football.

Yeah. Do you remember how it went? The name of the poem? Yeah. That's perfect. Uh, I'll get it to you. I'll get it to you. Okay.

Cause I heard it starts out, it starts out, um, it starts out, it starts out the first day of training camp, the sun coming up, um, you know, uh, like what, what angels would, would, uh, would see that's, uh, the feeling that angels would have, uh, I get, I'll get to the, uh, did you type it up for him? Oh yeah. It was typed for the whole team inspired by Owen, Marie sec, and, um, also Ernest Hemingway. Okay.

Okay. We got to see this poem. Yeah. So you'll, you'll recognize there's a lot of things in it that, uh, are from Ernest Hemingway and taken from Ernest Hemingway and old man in the sea and correlated to football. We, we'll put this in our new office. Yes.

We'll, we'll frame it. We'll frame the, uh, you print it out. Now is it, was it a word document? Excel. Yes. It's all Excel. So you type it in Excel. I do, I do everything in Excel.

What, so I actually knew that someone had told me that. What explained that you type like actual letters and poems and everything letters, everything in Excel, everything in Excel. I draw pictures, I draw pictures in Excel. Excel is the first thing I learned and, um, and I've stayed with it. Yeah. I'm a disciple of Excel. My theory was, you know, we got to take you to my office, we'll go to my

office today and I will show you and I will print up a day in football and spy about own, own, re sick and a nod to Ernest Hemingway and old man in the sea. But you're using Excel, but not for Excel. Like it's supposed to be for formulas and spreadsheets and you're just using it as like a notepad word document. I use the formulas too. Okay.

You can also use it. He's right. You can use it. Everything. Yeah. As a word document, you just expand the cell. Yeah. Way out to the side.

Just make it one long line or you can format the cell and do, yeah, do three to four lines or six, they can, right? They can, it's a very versatile, wrapped text piece of software. That's what they say. My theory was that you read off place sheets all the time. Those are all put into Excel the way that they're, they're format. I was just thinking like, you've been reading off those your whole life. That's probably, it's easier for you to see that.

Yeah. The wristband, everything's at Excel. Yeah. That's true. If we're living in a computer simulation right now, it's probably Microsoft Excel. Yeah. Yeah. Um, all right.

I use, I use word. Yeah. For Google docs. The thing that you're supposed to type, you know, words into now, I've seen you release some of this called Word. That's true. It's got it all. Why would anyone need anything else?

Yeah. I think I'm different fonts. I've seen you on the notes app on iPhones too. You've done some screenshots on there. Yeah. So sometimes you're, you're more versatile than you give yourself credit for. Oh, yeah. Well, that can, the notes can be, you can email the notes to yourself from

and copy, copy the, the email onto Excel. Let's put it in Excel. Nice. Okay. So it always, all roads, always lead back. We always get home there. All right. I'm going to ask you a hard question here.

You're not going to like it. We had your brother on. Uh-huh. I asked him every now and then, like it may be a family dinner vacation. Do you ever give your brother the look and what I mean by I won the Super Bowl and you didn't, and he said, yeah, I do that every now and then we'll catch eyes and I'll be like a little, is that what he's doing? Yeah.

He said, yeah, that's what he was. Catch eyes and be like, you know that, you know that I know that, you know that I got you that we both know, do you see, do you know that you probably haven't even seen that look? You're like, why the hell is John staring at me? No, I've, now that I'll be alert for it. Okay. And that's a fist fight.

Uh, in the past it has, uh, uh, I'm not going to say it hasn't. I think we're too old for that now. But, uh, no, he's always been great about that. He's been, uh, he's been really first class and, and I'm proud of my brother. I love my brother. I'm really happy for him. And, um, I have not noticed that look. Okay.

I think he said he saves it for like, if you guys are playing one on one basketball and you're, and you're beating him too bad, are you like him with an elbow or something like that? That's what he always has in his back pocket. Like the look, the look, it's the look. Yeah. Now that I actually might've just started World War three. Yeah.

Cause you're going to see that look and you're like, why are you looking at me? Like, I know what you're doing and I don't like it. Yeah. He had a great time on this show though. He had a lot of fun. He did tell a story about, he was on at the combine at the combine. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh yeah. Football guy through and through, through and through. He told us a story about one time you like held him under water at the beach. Do you remember that? Yeah. Jacksonville. Yeah. Yeah.

It was, now did he start that and you finished it? I can't remember who started, but it was a wrestling fight in the, in the water. Yeah. Well, you're a 20s. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yes. Water on the bridge.

Okay. So while we're on a young Jim Harbaugh, I was cruising, uh, the TV the other day, middle summer, nothing, not a lot going on. 1998 QB skills competition comes on my TV. Jack, did we watch that? Did you watch it? We sure did. Okay.

Jack, how'd your dad do? Yeah. So we won, taped it, taped it, he won. You also were in very classic Jim Harbaugh fashion, uh, like just mentally, kind of dominating everyone else. Everyone else was kind of there for a vacation. You were there to win that thing. And then at one point the announcer said he's been practicing, uh, basically all

night, last night, and then this morning. Were you practicing hard for that competition? Yeah. Not just the night before and the, and the day of either. I was practicing leading up to it. Um, and all the other quarterbacks are the same way. I mean, they're, they, they want to win that. Um, they kind of try to play a little too cool for school.

Like, uh, you know, hat backwards or sunglasses or something like that. But they really want to win it while they're in it. Then I watched some of the other ones because they had like other years. It was a marathon. Yeah. Other. Yeah. And, uh, you could see, you know, a couple of years after that, people stopped

being too cold for school and you could tell they were, they were trying to win it as well. You like change the game. You're like the, uh, you know, Michael Jordan did with a dunk contest. You did with the quarterback skills competition. Well, humility prevents me from saying that. Yeah. You can let me say that statement.

You carry the water out there. You can agree with me after I say it was just great watching you compete in something that is, you know, it is a very relaxed kind of vibe and you were fired up. Yeah. Like it was a Superbowl and then you won it and you were, I, there was like this, I have this clip. I'll show it to you.

I'll find it on my phone, but there was this weird kind of like excitement, but also sense of relief. Like, whew, all that hard work finally won the QP. That was it right there. It was what, what like $50,000? 80. Oh, okay. That's big.

That's a lot of money. That's like 1995. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's big 2019. That's a lot of money. Yeah. But Jack can tell you, this is the truth. We were watching it. It just came on and, or my dad called me and said, Hey, this is on, you know, turn to turn, turn on, uh, was it a phone network? Yeah.

So, so we start watching the kids are there and it was kind of starting to get late and my wife, Sarah was like, okay, time to go to bed. You guys got to go, but I get a lot of, let him get one more bed, one more bed. I, I win this next event here. So they got another event and then they had to go to bed, but we taped it and we've watched it a few times. Oh, more than a few times. I'm sure that's awesome.

When are you actually getting out there and still like playing a little bit of quarterback and practice these days? Um, uh, I got a, I haven't this past, uh, months or a year or two, been about a year and a half since I have, but, uh, I got a knee brace now that I don't know where I got a little, I got bone on bone going on in the, in the right knee. So I got this Don, Don Joy knee brace that I'm going to wear. That's going to kind of kick it, kick the knee in a little bit. Okay.

Hopefully, uh, keep it, keep it all together. Keep it all together. Yeah. So I can run. Yeah. Um, all right. I have the C key question because this is the training camp. Uh, see, see, see, there we go.

That's good. See, see, I said so fast. Then the guest always says, what is that? See, a little extra free promo tip there. You want to buy a cheap ticket? See, go to a Michigan game. Yeah. A little podcast tip for you.

Keep your back. Larry David. Yeah. Uh, $10 off with promo code take. They're the sponsor training camp week. So, uh, go see Michigan play this year in the big house using seek geek promo code take $10 off. Uh, did you catch any foul balls this summer?

Not legit. Not legit. Foul ball. What is it? What is a, uh, illegitimate foul ball look like? Uh, illegitimate foul ball is something that's not happening during the game. Okay. So batting practice, batting practice, batting practice, or during the game,

they tossed the ball up to you. Were you close? Uh, I didn't have not have one really hit at me at all. Uh, both games I went to, uh, it's been a, it's been a blessing and a curse. I, when I, when I've been going to these games, uh, like the, the Yankees game got these really nice seats, like right behind the screen, behind the plate. Not foul ball territory. No chance.

And then we went to the Tiger's game and we were in a suite. So I'll ball territory. You brought your gloves to me, right? I have my gloves. Yeah. I mean, the chances are so slim and slim to non didn't get one. Got one in batting practice though. Okay.

Was, uh, in the left field, uh, fence shut out all summers. Blind drive, line drive Homer in batting practice and okay. Reached out stab that right before it hit my, my daughter, Katie in the face. There we go. So people who's to criticize the glove, that's actually safe for your children. Safety. Yeah. Safety, but that doesn't count.

Yeah. That doesn't count for the record. How many, how many do you have? 20, 20 legit. 20 legit. Okay. I mean, a foul. Last one, uh, San Francisco Giants, Arizona Diamondbacks, big unit on the mound.

Oh, so it's been a while. Good seat. Yeah. Good seat on the, on the visitor's side. So I was on the, uh, I was on the third base. Uh, no, I was on the, I was on the third base side of the giant sitting with, uh, Jeff Morad, who was, you know, Jeff, you look like Jeff. Oh, thank you.

When Jeff was younger, he looked like he was the owner, part owner of the Diamondbacks. Yeah. So I got a legit one. They had a corn, actually. It was just a little too easy. Here's a little, oh, good. Yeah.

It counts at the end of the day. You remember who hit it? No, I don't remember. It was just a, no, I don't remember who hit it. Well, good luck. I'm telling the telling part of that story. I mean, the one I tell people is that I was there with my wife, Sarah. There was a, uh, kid sitting behind us and I caught it and the youngster was

like, could have the, could have the ball. Mr. Mr. Can have the ball. No, you can't have the ball. Get your own ball. And, um, and so my wife, Sarah's kid, Sarah goes, give the kid a ball. You know, it's a kid. Jim, what's the matter with you?

Sarah, he's sitting in these seats. He pried, you know, he's on a weekday when he should be in school. I mean, this is probably some rich kid who doesn't need a ball. So, right. And he needs to learn how to get his own ball. Yes. That's the most important part. Yes.

She finally broke me down. I gave the kid the ball. And then he goes, that's my fourth ball this week. Oh, no, you read it right. Yeah, you read the situation, trust your instincts. Yes. Give the kid a ball and he'll have a ball for a day. You teach a kid to catch a foul ball.

He'll collect it for life. Did you take it back? No, that would be great in the story. You should change that story and be like, I was, uh, reading up, uh, because you know, we had you on a couple of years ago. We had a long time. It was a great interview. People loved it.

By the way. Yeah. Uh, young people, like, I don't know what it is. Maybe you probably know your demographic, but 16 to like 28, 29, 30. I mean, all they, all they, all they do when they come up to me is, uh, heard you on the, heard you on the, yeah, when he coming back on, he coming back on. That's our best recruiting tool. It really is.

What's that? Just everyone asking our guests, when are you going back on? Yeah. We love it when our listeners see a guest in public and they're like, Hey, we liked you. Go back on the show. Yeah. That way we don't have to beg you.

We've got other people doing it for us. It's in your mind now. Like, Oh yeah. That was fun with those guys. And then it just, it's our best recruiting tool every single time. You guys are big. You're big. Yeah.

I'm sure you know that also like, uh, if we have guests on that have kids that listen to our show, that's even better because then they're like, dad, go back on the show and that's even harder to say, right? Yeah. I want to be cool for my kid. You know, exactly. So I was doing some, I was reading up, trying to find some things that we didn't talk about the first time.

I don't know how I miss this the first time. You consider SpongeBob, uh, like a hero of yours. Yeah. I love, I love SpongeBob. Uh, so does Jack. Okay. Um, just the way it attacks with enthusiasm, unknown to mankind at all times. So I mean, it's always happy, always happy, always positive.

You know, it's energetic. Uh, the other guy, uh, who's the other guy? Squidward Squidward. No, not a fan. Yeah. He's got a bad attitude, bad, you know what? I think, I think Patrick sometimes gets overlooked too, because Patrick tends to have a good attitude, but you know, he does occasionally get brought down a

little bit, but, uh, he's a good hearted soul. He's a good hearted, you know, he's a good follower. He's, he, he means well. I mean, there's nothing malicious about, uh, Patrick. I think you, I think I read it and you said you, you like SpongeBob's work ethic that he goes to work every day and goes and gets it. Yeah. Some of the times where he's flipping the burgers like, uh, uh-huh.

Like he's got four or five or six arms. Yeah. He loves it. He loves work. Yeah. They got fried in his job. Yeah. What's there not to love about that is great.

What position was SpongeBob play? What position was fun? Bobby, if he was on the football team, Jack, uh, I feel like he'd be a good running back. He's, he's got quick lights. Got a motor. Yeah. He's got a motor for sure.

Probably doesn't have an ass to play. Uh, I should have said that. A word, uh, to play, uh, either line. No. So no, he's not a, probably not like, uh, he skips like that guard or something because his legs, right? You can't see her. Yeah.

He'd be corner, corner, tight end, good corner. Uh, I think running, like a running back that catches the ball a lot. Not in between the tackles, safety coming downhill. Yeah. Well, I can't really hit. He's a sponge. Power turner. That's true.

Yeah. Yeah. Little soft. He's the future of football actually. Everyone's a sponge running around the field. Um, I just love that story. I saw that and I was like, I don't think we asked him about SpongeBob last time. I wanted to, uh, to ask you about one of my favorite things that you ever did in

the game. Um, I think this was at Stanford. You ran, you had a package installed. I think Andrew Luck was injured at the time, but you had a package where it was nine offensive linemen and then Toby Gerhardt at like for a direct snap and one tight end. Do you remember that? Yeah.

I think we scored a touchdown in the sun bowl against Oklahoma on that sweep to the left. Yeah. I love that pad. Do you have anything like that installed in Michigan? Um, no, the most we've gotten to is seven, seven or eight offensive linemen. It just looks awesome from a fan's perspective on television when you just see just a line of humanity upfront.

It's like, try to break through this wall. You can think our, um, we had, uh, we had a pretty cool shift against Virginia Tech too in the orange bowl in 2010. It was three different shifts and, uh, the center was like lined up as the tackle and we just shifted them all this way and then shift the two guys back around. And then, and I did another shift in emotion. It was three, you know, a game like two yards. It was fun to play with the two yard game and we almost got a delay game,

but it looked great. Yeah. Yeah. Are you worried at all about, do you like our train formation? Which one's that? Oh, yes. When you have like the, like four guys, basically the whole 11, yeah, you have four fullbacks.

Yeah. No, 11 guys line up, uh, instead of a huddle, they line up in a, in a single file line. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And then the quarterback tells them to play and then they break up to the line of scrimmage.

We actually got a touchdown off of that. It does feel like you're like attacking them before the snap because everyone just kind of, when they break the huddle, it's kind of intimidating. Yeah. And then everybody just gets, gets that. Yeah. Is that like, is a mental mental game that you're playing gets a defense at that point, just like giving them a different, no, not really.

We saw it. Uh, we saw it. In fact, my son Jay Harbaugh saw it, uh, in a high school game, uh, and high school tape, I think it was somewhere, uh, in Missouri team was running it. And, uh, and that's, I don't know that that's right off the SJ. Cause now, um, but it looks, it looked cool. Yeah. It looked cool.

That's yeah. That's all it sometimes looks like a good idea. So we, we implemented it. Yeah. I love it. Um, are you worried at all about the bowl games and guys sitting out now? Because I think that's going to keep happening where players are saying, you know what, if I'm going to go to the draft, I'm going to sit out this, this

game. And if they're not the, you know, playoff games, some guys will be like, I'm going to make the business decision, which I actually kind of agree with them. But I wonder from your perspective, you know, I love college football. You love college football. Do you think it hurts the game at all? Yeah, I do. And I think it hurts somebody's, um, I think it hurts their, their actual,

their legacy too. Just what they're about, um, you know, a competitor is going to compete. They're going to, they're going to go out there and compete. Everybody talks about it. They're a competitor. I'm a competitor. I'll compete at anything. I'll compete at golf or I'll compete at tiddly winks.

Me here, people say that all the time, but then they actually don't go playing a football game. Um, you know, that's to me, that's a problem that you have a problem now with your, who you are and what is a competitor in your legacy. I put it this way. Uh, Ted Williams, you got to love Teddy ball game. Okay. So Ted Williams goes into the last day of the season, hitting, hitting three

99.6 everybody tells him, don't play, don't play tomorrow. You, you're already at 400 rounded up. Yeah, you got it. Don't, you don't have to do it. Uh, people would have, would have agreed with that, you know, but he said, no, went out and played. It was a double header and he went six for eight and he ended up hitting four, oh six for the season.

Now you're a legend, not three 99.6 rounded up to 400 with an asterisk by it. You went out and hit four, oh six. That's how you get to the legendary legacy status. I agree with you on that. That it is, there's a case to be made certainly for legacy that I don't think anyone would disagree with. The difference would be like if Ted Williams didn't get paid. If he, you know, just ended the season or if he batted and went over six into

the season under 400, as opposed to like rounding up to 400. So I understand from a financial perspective, like they want to look after their knees, that sort of thing, but I think you're right on. Like it does, it takes a player from a very good player to like an iconic player at that school, if they rise to the occasion, a situation like that. Yeah. And I'm not, I'm not demeaning anybody or, or saying I don't respect anybody. Everybody's got the right to make their own decisions.

Right. You asked me what I think of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Um, do you worry ever about your players doing guarantees when you did a

famous guarantee? Because I think there might have been a guarantee before you, it's hard for you. You're in a tough spot. You can't tell your guys, Hey, don't get in the media and do guarantees when anyone can look up the famous guarantee you had before the Ohio State game, which is part of your legacy and part of the Jim Harbaugh lore. Well, I just, I look at it like, I don't like when people just do stuff that's already been done, you know, I mean, it's, it's been done, you know,

do something different. Okay. I'd be like somebody like just totally mimicking Ray Lewis's. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Game dance. Right.

I mean, it's, it's been done. He did it. Right. You know, that's, that's what I look at. Okay. So you've done the, the guarantee game. Well, yeah, I don't even think I was the first, but you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, Joe Namath, Joe Namath was the first, right.

You know, I was probably at the tail end of price. Shouldn't have been doing it. You should bring it out though. When you're really feeling good. Oh, you never, you're really feeling, yeah, that's a good point. It would, you'd be the first, it doesn't really make a whole lot of sense. What are you actually guaranteeing? I mean, it's not like you're guaranteeing when you're not what, or what, or your money

back, yeah, yeah, football again, you could personally refund all the journalists. You could make somebody did that. Somebody did that and actually put something that your job. Yeah. Loser leaves town. If I lose this game, I'm out. Yeah. That would be that.

I mean, that would be the first that would actually be at first. Yeah. So if that, if that's the case, then how about you would be a bowl. That would be bold or put the khakis on the line. You'd say, if I lose this game, I'm guaranteeing it. I'm never wearing khakis again. You're like, I can't say goodbye to you. Now we're going to extend.

Yeah. Um, all right. I have two last ones I wanted to throw your way. The, um, things we didn't talk about last time, but I thought would be funny. The famous Peyton Manning 2012 story when he came for a visit with 49ers. Is there truth to that that you guys were throwing catch and, uh, having a catch and basically you were recruiting because Peyton Manning was a free agent. And, um, you said to him, wow, I got a little more mustard on this than you

Peyton, that one's out there. That's out there. Okay. So, so the story's already, already wrong. Okay. Uh, it was, he didn't visit the 49ers. We went to, uh, we went to Durham. Okay.

He was that he was working out at Duke and, uh, and we went through a workout. He was great. We went back to, uh, the house he was staying at and talk football. Greg Roman, myself were down in his basement. And it was like, uh, I mean, he's, he's, uh, his mind. I mean, he's just, I mean, he's like in the lab. Yeah. It was just, it was so, so impressive.

But so what point did you like, Hey, my arm's stronger than yours. I never said that. I never said that at all. Um, but you thought it. No, I didn't. The only, the only real thing I did was, I mean, we're just talking about the, the, uh, some of the atrophy. Yeah.

And, um, like his right arm was, was, uh, not as big as his left, right? Some of the musculature areas. It was just, you know, I haven't had a metal day of medical training in my life. So I was just, you know, what's, what's the explanation and the nerves and how they were regenerating and things like that. So, okay, that one's, that's just brought, I'm not a, I'm not a mention that like, Hey, that, that looks a little different there. Yeah.

What's going on? That's explain, explain to me how nerve, how they regenerate. So when he explained that to you, you thought yourself, well, I don't have that issue in my arm. So my arm's stronger than this. Yes. Actually, my left arm is a little bigger than my right. And throw the guns out, bench these days.

What are bench? Um, uh, if I did a max, I don't know. I haven't done really a max. If you did, if let's say like two plates on each side, how many reps are we talking? Uh, we're talking 225. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, one or two.

Okay. That's how about you? Where do you bench? Probably, it's, I feel like probably about the same right now. Or not as much as Brooks Kepka. Yeah. We have a bench coming to our podcast. Bench was never my, my strongest exercise.

Were you a squat guy? A little better than the squats. Sometimes I, I, I failed to see what my best exercise was, but, uh, that's more of a conditioning. Okay. It's good conditions. Yeah. Legs, I guess squat and I liked a, one real disappointing thing.

If you really want to talk about it, if you want me to fully share all my, yeah, let's go full embarrassment. Yeah. It's like a Barbara Walters interview. Yeah. This is the part where you cry. This is the point. This is something I feel really bad about.

Yeah. Yeah. My VMO has shrunk to near nothing. What is the VMO? The VMO is that some people call it that teardrop that muscle, right? I've never had like interior right there. You're going to, that's a nice VMO. Oh yeah.

He's hooked my VMO. So that, that one, oh yeah. That's a nice VMO. It's got a little, I got a good VMO right here. Look at that. Got it. You got a flexible VMO left. Pretty much down to that point.

Oh no. Once you get to the coach, you see, now I understand why you wear khakis all the time. There you got it. That's the parents. No VMO. That's, that's your jumping. That's your, that's your accelerator.

Oh, that makes sense. Cause I can dunk. You can dunk. Yeah. Well, I used to be able to once. I dunked one time with a ping pong ball. No. Oh, I actually have a, I need you lying.

No, I'm not. I'm dead serious. Look at these calves coach. Look, I do, I need you to motivate me actually. You're the perfect person to talk to because I forgot that I had got convinced to sign up for rugby tournament this weekend. I haven't played in three years and I am kind of a small guy when it comes to being out there on a rugby field.

Can you motivate me that I'm going to make it through this weekend? Okay. And I'm going to punish people and, and, and inflict some damage. Let's, well, what, what, instead of motivation, let's start with, let's start with some, uh, some tempering. Let's get the, let's get the muscles stretched and get them a lot lengthened and, and warmed and smooth. Okay.

Three years. You haven't played since I haven't played in three years. Also, I'm very out of shape, but so what can I do to get in shape in four days? Let's bring in, uh, let's bring in Ben Herbert. Okay. Our strength coach who is that you should interview today. Ben Herbert. We love strength coaches.

He's the best. Um, Don Brown for sure. Be a dude. Yeah. Be a dude. Do you, do you, do you say that around the facility? No, cause he does it. He does it.

So he just, he drops dudes all the time, but is he, are you ever like dude? When he says a dude and you give it a little dude, dude off. I try, I try, but it's so like, it's so not, it's so not even good. Yeah, but it's he, he knows that dude. You got to be a dude. It gets infectious when you hear, it is infectious. How many, yeah. And you got to get them on, uh, Ben Mason.

Yeah. Um, Josh Gattis, uh, very young, enthusiastic, but experienced just kind of like our team dude. He's a dude. Yeah. I just love it. If you just like, we got a team full of dudes that actually that next big 10 press conference day when they do, whenever it'd be like, Hey, instead of asking, like,

you know, when they asked position battles and everything, she'd be like, we got a lot of dudes when they ask how you feel about, uh, your team being rated pick to win the big 10 conference. And they go at, they ask, do you feel pressure or would you rather be, be ranked there or would you rather, uh, ranked lower? And then your answer is that's where I would have ranked us. Yeah. And we got dudes should have said dudes.

We got dudes and that's all I know. We hope we got more dudes than the other, other team at the end of the year. We hope we end up with the most dudes. You guys have a lot of trophies in the big 10. There should just be a dude trophy. Oh, that should be. The end of the season of the championship. We should have a team trophy.

Yes. A dude trophy. We can present it. Yeah. So the toughest guy on the team, we should just, it's just biggest dude due to the year. All right. My last question, um, another one story, the samurai sword in the shovel.

That's true. Right. For recruits, so explain that. Uh, that's biblical. That's biblical. Um, that is, uh, from Nehemiah. Okay. So, uh, Nehemiah is talking about, uh, build, rebuilding the city

because it's been ravaged and the doors have been burnt down and there's, there's, uh, holes in the, in the wall and so that they have to rebuild. And they also have to have a shovel to be able to attack because there's people trying to, they're going to try to penetrate the walls. So, um, make the football analogy of we got to attack and build at the same time. And a recruit walk in your office and you'll be holding in a shovel. His Nehemiah says it with a sword in one hand and a shovel in the other. And you would have a samurai sword in a shovel.

Sword in a shovel. He didn't say samurai. Yeah. But you had that. That was the only sword real sword I could find was right. I would, I'm ready to go as soon as I walk in with a sword in the shovel. And they're like, Hey, didn't see you there. I mean, you got a sword in a shovel in your hands.

Our most valuable player trophy has a sword in the shovel. There we go. That's great. I have one last thing to talk about with you. I know you're a big fan of Brooks Kepka as are we, or at least you were, you were disgusted with how, uh, his character was impugned when they were talking about like heavy questioning his work ethic, that sort of thing. Uh, or somebody's toughness, someone's toughness.

Is that the worst thing that you can say about a man's question? They're toughness. Uh, it's right up there. It's right up there at the top. I think there's probably worse things, right? You know, you could cue somebody of beating their dog or, uh, something like that and others, right? There's a whole list of toughness, toughness, but yeah, that's toughness

that you cross a line in my opinion. Yeah. Yeah. Cal, I didn't Cal once do that before a Stanford Cal game. They said they, you guys aren't tough and, and you just basically, you know, demolish them. It might have been, I can't remember. There was one coach who that's basically the dumbest thing you could ever do

is right before a game question. Uh, coach Jim Harbaugh's team toughness. Cause I think you took it out on them. Yeah. It's got me. I don't, I don't remember that specifically, but yeah, this crosses the line. Yeah. That's, that's a little bit too far.

Yeah. We got Brooks is back too. Yeah. He's our guy. He's our guy. Um, he's a dude. Yeah. He's a big time dude.

Yeah. He's a big time. Actually, you can use the word Blake now instead of dude. Yeah. That's something for further down the line. Yeah. Um, coach, thank you so much. Thank you.

Appreciate it. We're going to do your podcast too. So look out for that. Awesome. But, uh, we're excited football is back. So we do this every year now, the summer tour for training camp. And it's just great to be around football guys and football, your favorite sport. Oh yeah.

And if you, you feel, you feel it too spring, I mean, uh, summer. It's the end, you know, getting later in summer, you talk to football guys, you feel training camp coming. There's nothing better. Go blue, go blue. I'm not going to say I love it. I'll say, I'll say go blue, go blue, you know, and you, you did demolish the badgers this year, but the badgers deserved it.

So, cause that was terrible by them. Go blue. Go blue. That interview with Jim Harbaugh was brought to you by movement sunglasses. I love movement sunglasses. You should not have to choose between overpriced designer sunglasses and cheap shades that won't last you this summer. That's why I always wear movements.

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Stool orca coolers. There's Jeep accessories, new bathing suits, towels, pool floats, and a huge collection of limited edition Barstool USATs. Go to store.barstoolsports.com to shop now. Okay. Let's get to some segments. Hank, this is getting pretty brutal here. Yeah.

Seven nothing Yankees red socks. Yeah. Is it time to take the over and if they don't fucking hit the over seven runs in the first, okay, I'm not going to get into it, but they scored six runs in the first inning two days ago and didn't hit the over. Is it time for the Dunchain? Oh, Dunchain. I'm going to Dunchain the Red Sox.

I mean, it's about time. They got no picture. So is that it? So that's the Dunchain hangover. It's Dunchain. It's Dunchain on. I'm putting the Dunchain on the Red Sox. And that means if they make the playoffs and win the World Series, you have to cut

off your pinky. Nope. Well, Dunchain is, that's a Dunchain, bro. You just don't change yourself. You got to get a cat. Nope. Okay. You have three choices.

We'll put a poll up tomorrow, whichever one the listeners vote for is what Hank will have to do if the Red Sox win the World Series. You have to tone for the Dunchain. Yes. The Dunchain has its repercussions. My friend, that I'm not going to put them on. Heavy weighs the neck that wears the Dunchain. Okay.

First up, we have hurt or injured in Tony O Brown and his feet, his gross feet. So I don't understand what's the injury here. Just gross feet. Yeah. He's just sidelined with a, with a set of gross feet. It's blisters. I think technically I've never seen blisters like that in my life, but it's preseason for feet too.

They are some nasty ass tootsies. It looks like I don't understand how this happens because I've had something similar, but that's when you don't do anything athletic for a really long time. You're like, Hey, I'm going to put on a new pair of shoes and play three hours of basketball. It does. Yeah. Well, but I'm assuming Antonio Brown's been working out probably working out,

but he also strikes me as a guy that would do like weird exercises that don't necessarily involve football cleats in the off season. Yeah. He's just working out in no shoes in his backyard. Barefoot running up a hill. Yeah. Beach jogging. Um, the one thing, balloon jumping.

The one thing I don't understand about this injury, I feel like everyone keeps saying it's, it doesn't seem to be serious. Like every report about Antonio Brown's feet says couches it with. They don't think it's going to be serious. That means it's probably going to be serious. These are the times where God damn it. I need Rex Ryan back on ESPN analyzing Antonio Brown. Did you imagine that would be so funny if he just went broke it down?

If he was just puked on screen. Well, here's, no, he would, I think he'd like it. I think he'd be like, here's the, there's some ups and downs to these feet. They get really nice underneath that shell, but it's too scrappy. You cut yourself up, re circumcise yourself. You try to fuck those. He's more of a fully moisturized foot guy. I don't think he would like that.

It depends on if it's a win or a loss. If he's coming off a loss, he might want to punish himself a little bit. I've been bad. It would be great though, if it was just a slide show of beautiful feet and then Antonio Brown's feet and Rex Ryan puked on air, or it might be a knee injury that they're covering up in the NFL. One knee equals two feet. That's another thing to stay home.

We don't know. We don't know. I, the one thing that I know for sure is that this is the time of year when I see anything happening with the Oakland Raiders. The only thing that I think of is I can't wait to see this in hard knocks. Oh yeah. I can't wait to see John Gruden's reaction to Antonio Brown missing practice because his feet have blisters.

By the way, the good that you brought that up, PFT, we are flying to Wisconsin on Tuesday afternoon. If anyone wants to email PMT intern at barstoolssports.com, that's the place where you email for the AMA, uh, gold episode. But if anyone wants to email and show us their living room that they have HBO, we, we are going to go watch hard knocks with an AWO on Tuesday night. That's a fact. So send us, basically send us your resume of why we should pick your house.

And we will go watch hard knocks episode one with an AWL. Don't be creepy about it. Lay it out. We're going to pick the most normal person. No, we're not trying to get fucked up. We're not trying to get fucked up. We have to work, but show us your, your seating spots, your TV, maybe what you'll give us food wise.

What's the, what's the spread going on? We might even take the full show in your living room. So one AWL is going to, uh, we're going to hang out with you on Tuesday night, send us your resume. Also don't be creepy picture your toilet might be nice too. Yeah. We're not going to a frat house. So don't, no, no, listen, we're, no, we're not frat guys.

We're, we're, we're rug, we, we're really different. Yeah. If you have rugby songs, we'll sing them. Uh huh. Um, all right. Stay woke. What do you have? PFT stay woke.

This comes to us courtesy of Larry Johnson, okay. Former, uh, for no, no, no, the running back got it. Who got ran to the ground by Herm Edwards. Yep. Uh, so he is on top of some very sinister things going on in the NFL this season. He's very, very woke to this. Adam Schefter tweeted out about Patrick Mahomes new, uh, serial for charity. He said, this serial, Mahomes magic crunch started selling this week at

Kansas city area stores, though he hasn't tasted it yet. Mahomes says he's excited for it. Or it's in quotes. So Mahomes says he is excited for it and noted sales help out his foundation. Unopened boxes of the serial are going for $33 on eBay. And so Larry Johnson quoted, tweeted that and said, funny how he uses the favorite Masonic 33 number. Whoa.

This is how spell casting works amongst the sleep magic associated with witchcraft and a cult. I'm just going to enjoy this blatant propaganda this season. So he is onto you, Adam Schefter. I can't think of a story. I'd rather, uh, the story I'm rooting for more than Adam Schefter to be an undercover witch. Yes.

Could you imagine if he's just casting spells on people? I wouldn't be surprised. Nope. I wouldn't either. Two cell phones. One of them is a magic wand. Yeah. And that's why he does the whole like, Oh, I have to pee every 10 minutes to

make himself seem un-witch like, uh-huh. That's exactly what somebody that didn't have to pee would say. It's called an old red herring. He doesn't piss ever. Yeah, right. Very interesting. Oh, Mel Kuiper. He seems like a witch.

He doesn't piss. No, no, no, you're the witch, dude. Yeah. Adam Schefter being a witch would be pretty excellent. Um, takes off his hair. I'm pretty sure I've seen him hanging out with some brooms before. Mm-hmm. Also, he's, I feel like he's right around the perfect height for warlock

which, uh, no, they typically go a little shorter. Oh, okay. He's like five, five, 10. No, he's, he's five, nine. Okay. Uh, we have a new segment, Mellow Dramatic, and this is for Carmelo Anthony, which I think we're going to use this segment a few times this year because Carmelo Anthony has now gone to the Stephen A Smith school of redemption.

He went on first take. He did a sit down. He said that he was cut by the Rockets for things outside of basketball. He doesn't want a farewell tour. He just wants the ball. And now I'm at the point where I just feel bad for Carmelo Anthony. So what were the reasons outside of basketball? Like I think the money he was being paid to play basketball, to be shitty at

basketball. Yeah. Okay. So not a bad, not a basketball. Yeah. Right. Right. That's, I'm not in the NBA primarily for non basketball reasons.

It's not a basketball reason. I'm worth paying money. Right. Yeah. It's not a basketball reason if you can't play basketball anymore. Right. Just sad that it's all about the dollars now. It's not about the love of the game.

But yeah, I do feel a little bit bad for him. We do need him back. Someone, someone please, I mean, the Lakers is obviously our number one choice, but I would love to see him on the heat. That would be great. Watching him play with Jimmy Butler. Jay Butt. The Clippers.

The Clippers would be great for the drama. Maybe if he goes to Toronto and he's like, I will fill the shoes of Kawaii this year. That would be great. New York. New York. He was already on the Bulls last year for like two seconds as a trade. But yeah, no, get him, get him on the Knicks again. He could probably will the next 33 wins.

Get him on the Nets. Have him win a ring with the Nets. Go ring chasing. Yeah. Have him be the Kevin Durant. Have that story be written like, is Carmelo the answer to no Kevin Durant next year? Good question. People are asking already.

People have been asking. What's that movie with John Cusack where he holds up the boombox outside the high fidelity. High fidelity. He needs to do that to every general manager in the NBA, except have it blasting that little Wayne song that drops his name and it was a swagger like us. Yes. Yeah. So the just the line where it's saying like, get jewels like Carmelo or whatever.

Yes. Do that outside Daryl Morey's office and maybe he'll forget about last year. Just give us Melo. We need one more Melo. All right. Last up, we have a drunk idea. PFT, you have a drunk idea. All right.

Yeah. My I had a drunk idea last week and it remains even more true this week for me. An idea that's just instead of a gumball machine just out in restaurants, have it just be filled with tums. Yeah. Why not? I would take one every single time, even if I didn't have heartburn, just like knowing you might get it later.

It would have saved my life this weekend. I will. Every time I eat barbecue now, I wake up in the middle of the night at like 2 a.m. Oh, yeah. And I just I have to throw up. I ate barbecue on Friday and went to the gym, not to brag, but I actually did throw up a little bit. At the gym? No, after.

Because you can always blame that on working out. Yeah. No, no, this was a later thing. OK, where's like much later? Such a piece of shit. I don't know what it is. I ate a normal amount of barbecue. No, you didn't.

No one eats a normal amount of barbecue. I ate a good amount of I ate like two pounds of barbecue. Whenever you go to barbecue, you're like, OK, I'm going to have a normal amount of barbecue. How about the burn ends, the pulled pork, hush puppies, maybe some fried pickles. Just for the table. Got to get and we got to split a thing of ribs. That's a normal amount of barbecue. We got big beans.

We should have split the ribs. We got full rack of ribs. And then a dessert pie that was literally called a s'mores ice cream pie. Yeah, normal about a normal normal amount of barbecue. And just woke up at 2 a.m. And just calmly walked to the bathroom threw up and went to sleep. We should have it be like Skyline Chili, where they give you the crackers and little bowl. It's just a bowl of tums and you can put hot sauce on it.

I love it because who cares? You're eating the tums circle of life. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, I like that idea a lot called a tumble machine. Yeah. Um, so yeah, I'm in for that. Okay, just just more tums just everywhere, everywhere, and we're not. They're not even a sponsor.

No, they're not saying they just send us free tums. So in like everywhere that there used to be a phone booth, tumble machine. Tum, Tums actually, they kind of, they're kind of getting one over on us because they, I think the big Tums factory, wherever that is, uh, they have us as like their number one influencers and they know us well enough that every three, probably three weeks to a month, three new bottles of Tums just show up at our, at our office. Even when we changed offices, they knew right away and they're like, these guys are suckers.

They're just going to talk about Tums and eat Tums because they eat like such pieces of shit. Correct. And guess what, Tums? You, you got us. You got us. You got to treat us like, like dirt and we'll stick to you like mud. Yeah, we're, we're at us all figured out now that makes it on the train too.

Yep. Everybody's, we should get a tumble machine in the office in the studio. I have a tumble machine. All right. So Tums, why don't you all the free shit we've given you, send us a tumble machine. You know our address, you know our social security and then we can bet on what color Tums comes out. Yeah, that'd be good.

Yes. Um, all right. That's our show training camp week, Patricia Wednesday, Baker Friday. We're going to be in Green Bay Wednesday. Uh, make sure you fill out that application that resume PMT intern at barstoolsports.com where we're going to watch in Milwaukee. We don't want to go far. So don't fucking tell me that you're in like Brookfield or wherever the fuck,

uh, you know, you're in Sheboygan. We're not going to Sheboygan. Shout out Sam Decker. Just tell us exactly where, you know, Appleton, fuck, Appleton, no fucking way. Milwaukee greater area. Send us your resume and we'll come watch hard knocks with you and probably do the show. Love you guys. So far, you need less to say.

I'll be so a little way. I'm learning my life is okay. I'm all tonight. You know, my thoughts don't lie. I'm expecting to feel it. It's right. Oh, there's that. She's dancing.

Don't you see, baby? Pat, you're falling for it. Better step back. We accept a P and T. Hanks to cat killer. Big cat. He keeps it real. I'll go bananas on your ass.

I'm a tiny old gorilla. Paper thin windows making noise all night. Like graduation signal come loud to the mic. P and T, we ride together. We're separating. Never protect this time forever. This shit's hot like the weather takes so hot. We're going to make you sweat talking away.

I don't know what to say. I'll say that you were two days on my day to find you. Needless to say, I won't say it, but I'll be so a little way. Turn it on, my life is okay. I'm on tonight, you know my hopes don't lie. And I'm starting to feel your joy. And let's go real soon. Don't you see, baby, this scene is perfect.

Come on. I know I'm on tonight, you know my hopes don't lie. And I'm starting to feel it's right. All the attraction, the tension. Don't you see, baby, this is perfection. Yeah, that's a cure. It's part of my take presented by Bar Stool Sports.