Pardon My Take - Joe Buck + Oliver Hudson, Mt Flushmore of Animals, And King Of Kong Fistful Of Quarters

Episode Date: April 3, 2020

No one knows what day it is but here we are. We had an all time take quake today and found america's new past time (2:17 - 24:07). Fyre Fest of the week (24:07 - 34:22). Joe Buck and Oliver Hudson join the show to talk about their new podcast, their daddy issues, playoff damien, getting bounced from the WSOP, and reading mean tweets (34:22 - 70:07). Segments include Lebron James update from Lebron James, Mt Flushmore of animals, and our documentary review of King of Kong Fistful of Quarters, the greatest documentary no one is talking aboutYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, add free on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, we have Joe Buck and Oliver Hudson, who is brother of Kate Hudson, son of Goldie Han, and Kurt Russell, and also a really fucking cool guy. We'd never met him.

We interviewed both of them because they have a new podcast out. Joe Buck was great as always, even though he's still trying to make playoff Damien happen. And also, we just wanted to invite Oliver Hudson's family reunion so we can just cast The Last of Boner Dogs. Exactly. So we have that interview. We have Firefest of the Week.

We have a great Mount Flushmore, and we are reviewing King of Kong, Fistful of Quarters, one of the greatest documentaries ever created that doesn't get enough shine. You can watch it on YouTube if you want to, if you haven't seen it yet. If you want to pause it and watch it, it's a quick watch, but it is incredible. So we're going to review that at the end, and also roast. We haven't done roast in a while. Before we do all of that, though, Cash App.

Pardon my take is brought to you by Cash App. Not only is it the easiest place to send money to your friends, it's the safest. It is the official app of coronavirus. I have dubbed it that in terms of coronavirus safety, social distancing app. You can send money to your friends. You can send money to your family. You can send money to your favorite restaurant bar, bartender, waiter, waitress,

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It's part of my take presented by Barstool Spokes. Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now, use Code Barstool. You get $10 for free, $10 to the ASPCA. Today is Friday, April 3rd, Friday Energy Boys. We're back feeling good. Let's get it. Oh, shoot, we forgot. Let's play our disclaimer first.

Let's play the disclaimer. The other day, I did an open that was viewed 2.4 million times in different places and used illegally in a bunch of places too. So we've been playing this for a long time. This copyrighted broadcast and telecast is presented by the authority of intercomradio.com and WFAN and may not, remember may not be reproduced or retransmitted without the express written consent

of intercomcommunicationscooperationandradio.com. And that means anybody, you want to go get video of me or see part of the show, go to radio.com. Every one of my programs are there. So that is the new disclaimer that Mike Francesa has put out there. This is basically the biggest sports news of the day that Mike Francesa has decided that the show that no one is watching or listening to,

he is going to decide that the one Twitter account that covers him and puts his clips out there can no longer do so. So the show that no one listens to, now no one listens to. It's the MLB model. Yes. Yeah, if he was smart, he would just start his own Twitter account for his own show. But I guess he sunk a lot of production costs into doing the mics on app and all that stuff.

So he probably doesn't have that much money left to spend on. Although he gets paid, what, like million dollars a year, a couple million dollars a year? I don't know. I mean, he only does like a 30 minute show now. But it's so funny because this is, you know, we're in a weird time. Everyone wants content. We're all stuck inside of our homes. And Mike Francesa was like, hey, you know, what's a good idea

to make sure that my content is even less accessible to the people. Wait, neither of you guys are recording. Oh, well, now we're recording. Correct. I think we have to do that again. No, we should be fine, right? Keep this in. Keep this in. Wait, did we record it? Yeah, I got the backup.

So we should be good. All right. Yeah, we're good. So that's on you. That's on you guys at this point for not telling it, for not reminding us to click record. Mm hmm. So we almost Mike Francesa's ourselves by doing an entire show where no one could listen to it

because we not even record. That's how that's how seriously we take keeping our content private is that we won't even let ourselves put it out. Yeah, people don't even know we actually do this show every day. But on the artist, we don't record it. We just talk sometimes. We just do it just for the sake of art. So we're here. It's Friday.

It's still Groundhog Day. Is it? It's not Friday. No, it's not. It's the days are not there. They're all they're all together. I feel better. I actually do feel there is still that like feeling of, Hey, we're ending a work week, but there's nothing good on the other end of it. Let's embrace the Bay. What day of the week does it always feel like?

Because it always feels like Sunday is every day of Tuesday is every day of Wednesday. Because it's not a Saturday and it's definitely not a Friday. No, I had a Monday either though, because like, I don't I don't go to sleep at night dreading waking up the next morning. I think the schedule is now this. It is Sunday, Sunday. So starting with Saturday, it's Sunday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Friday.

I don't think that there is no there's no there's no they still exist. There's no there's no Friday. I think it goes Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, the new Sunday. No, Friday still exists because it's like the end of the content week. OK, we don't have a show for a couple of days. Like don't have to do this. Don't have to do that. There still is that it's just Friday is only like from four o'clock to like seven.

There's that little bit of Friday feel. And then it just goes right into Sunday. The thing is, like every day of the week feels like a Friday after five o'clock because you want to have a couple of drinks and then a couple of drinks turns into three or four drinks. Alcohol consumption is going way up in America. Yes, people are talking about having Corona babies. They're going to be Corona livers in about three or four months.

Yeah, this is so yeah, we're here. I don't know what else you guys got. Like what else we we had a we had a early take take quick of the year with Jamel Hill. That was that's making waves. What did you say? Well, Robert Kraft went to China and got a bunch of masks for the hospitals, I think, in Massachusetts and Jamel Hill.

Hold on, I'm going to pull it up just because I don't want to miss. He blew like the Patriots playing to China, like had to clear like all these restrictions, like really went out above and beyond to like help the people of Massachusetts. 1.7 million N95 masks and the N95 masks are actually the masks that they use in hospitals that are very much needed. We're not talking about like the masks that you see everyone wearing when they're walking down the street.

She quoted and said, this is where I remind people that Robert Kraft is friends with Donald Trump and gave to his campaign. It's incredible for the Kraft family is doing this, but hope they understand their money, helped empower their friend, quote unquote friend. I just I feel like we're at the point in time where it's like any good deed that can help the greater cause here. Let's just let it be a good deed. Well, it's especially egregious considering that he could go right down the

street to Chris Sale and be like, Hey, Chris, can you cut up some more MLB jerseys to use as masks and then put that probably outfit like a couple of million people right there. Larry made Larry me tonsil. By the way, I said I wasn't going to make a joke about it, but I you've twisted yourself. Yeah, Larry me. He is donating like 50,000 masks to and it's like, come on, the guy, the guy,

I saw you on draft night. I saw what kind of mask you're going to donate, but still good for you. I saw Ford is doing a good thing. Ford's converting their assembly line into making some ventilators. Do you think that if you're in the hospital, let's say you're in the hospital and you're like a diehard Chevy racing fan, you've got like the Ford Calvin pissing on the Ford logo on the back of your Silverado and they hook you up to a Ford ventilator.

Do you say no, thank you. I think you probably have your wife or girlfriend or probably ex-wife more spot on, put some duct tape over it so you can't see it. Be like here, just get that. I'm going to let it save my life, but I'm not going to be happy about it. Are you just like put a strip of electric tape and you write sucks on it? So it says Ford sucks. Yes, or you or maybe they're selling actual like Calvin pissing stickers

that you can just like insert into any ventilator that you need to. Yeah, one there's another good piece of news that came out today or it was more just a good visual is Andy Reed chopping up some film and quarantine. Do you see that picture? Yep. In his shorts, feeling good in his shorts always. He's got a camel toe on his knee. That's how like that's how long ago Andy Reed had ACL surgery is back

probably in the 70s where they just took an axe to it and they said, OK, you're good to go. I the only thing that they bummed me out about that picture is I just I didn't need the visual of Andy Reed sitting there without a like industrial sized Purell bottle. I just figure everything in Andy's house. It's like Pee Wee Herman's house. Everything's oversized for him.

So I was a little upset about that. I wanted like a 10 gallon Purell bottle that he's pumping away at all day while he's cutting up film bird bath filled with hand sanitizer with visual. I didn't notice that he's got he's got two packs of gum on his desk. And what that told me was this is a man that has not been allowed by his wife to go to the grocery store and buy dip when he's got like everything that he can possibly chew just strewn across his desk. Listen, as someone who's living it right now, it's there's there's usually

not a lot of dip in the house. So it's definitely become a different beast altogether. So what's your vice now? You I'm actually a little bit concerned about it. Cap just late late in the night. Yeah, you can't gamble. Yeah, I just want much of a drinker to begin with. You can't dip during the day.

The horses are still running. The horses are still running. I watched the horses. But yeah, I just kind of exist. I've been a lot of dad, a lot of being a dad, which is, you know, it's a thing. It's fun. It's fun. Although my my son. No, I actually very much.

You said, though, that you're not going to get any credit for like being around so much because he's so young. He's not going to remember it. No, but I'll remember. I'll always be like I was around the whole time when we were fighting coronavirus. I was on the front lines. No, but it actually is crazy. There's like just watching a little kid grow day to day is fucking mind blowing.

And he also opened up my Xbox the other day and flinged my NCAA 14 game. And it's all scratched up. So I'm really living it like it's good. I'm we're making memories. Speaking of NCAA 14, we started a part of my Take Twitch channel, too, which is basically all I've been doing is playing video games. Dude, this quarantine, though, for real, like it is crazy. And I know this is getting too much into dad life, but it's crazy to watch

a child like the progression they make. When the quarantine started, he was not crawling. Now he's pretty much like in college. That's he's just been watching his dad and trying to be like Papa. Yeah, he's just been doing the whole thing, which by the way, we have to remind me. We had a time we're going to when we get to King of Kong's fistful of quarters, all time seen when when Steve Webe's son is like, come wipe my ass. And he's like, dude, I'm about to break the record.

And I was like, yo, I know exactly how he's feeling right now. That's going to be me in five years when I'm watching some game in overtime, being like, holy shit, I have to get I have to get this underdog home. And he's like, come wipe my ass. Dad's like, sorry, can't do it. Um, that yeah, that's that sounds like it's probably both entertaining and also frustrating at times being the father of an infant going through this. It's it's one of those things.

And I'm sure I'm speaking to some of our audience here. I think there are two Americas right now, the quarantined America without children and the quarantined America with children, the quarantined America without children. It's essentially like you're back in college. You just can't go out and the quarantined life with children is like, holy shit, doing like juggling a job and a child all day long is a fucking lot of work. Right. I'd say not so much like colleges, more like being in white collar prison for me right now, which is not a if you're going to be in a prison,

white collar jail is the way to go. So it's like being it's like being grounded in a suburban house, like a nice suburban. It's just like you're grounded, but like you you can you can do whatever you have in your bedroom. Yeah, it's like being grounded in a nice finished basement. Yes, you can eat all the candy you want. You can watch TV, but you still can't go up. Yeah, you can sneak over to your friend's house, but if you get caught, you're in a deep, you're in like a lot of shit.

So shout out from my perspective, shout out to all the the dads and moms out there who are trying to juggle work and being a parent. It's it's it's fucking hard. It's fucking hard. I'm pretty my perspective. Shout out to everyone whose internal clock is all kinds of messed up right now. And you're waking up at 10 a.m. 11 a.m. can't go to bed until like one, two in the morning.

It's tough. It's rough out here for us to yeah, I always I actually think too much. I actually think about maybe not you as much PFT because I think you might get up a little bit earlier, but I think about Hank when I'm on my second cup of coffee at like 815 in the morning and I'm like that motherfucker has still got like three hours of sleep left. Yeah, three hours till the ons kick in. Yeah, like 930, 10 o'clock is when the alarm start going off. And I and I honestly, I wake up, I see that nothing is going on.

I'm like, all right, I'm going to go back to sleep. Like who cares? Yeah, what's going to happen is there. So once we get to the other side of this, let's say fall rolls around. We might not have a vaccine for it yet, right? So team sports might be tricky, but I don't know if you saw this yesterday. They canceled the British open the excuse me. The open one of the open championship, the open championship.

One of the great times every year where guys who root for the course like us get to sit down and just watch a bunch of European golfers hit into seven foot tall weeds, right? They canceled it because obvious is an issue right now. Can't get on commercial flights or anything like that can have a gallery. It's tough to have like a bunch of production people set up to videotape and broadcast it. Why don't they do it like it was back in the pre-Titanic ages or back in like pre-World War two, when people had to take steamships

overseas and then there was no broadcasting at all. There was no media there. Why don't we just have it be a golf tournament? Everyone keeps score. And you have, I was saying, just have like Norm McDonald on Twitter. Walk around the course posting updates. Okay. So let me make sure that I'm just going to deconstruct this idea here.

You want to have a sporting event where none of us get to watch it, but before none of us get to watch it, you're going to make everyone get on a cruise ship. No, no, no. I'm saying the players. Yeah, no, I know, I know. They're going to get on a ship. I'm pretty sure Blake would not ride on Royal Caribbean. I'm pretty sure Blake.

I understand. You said on a ship. Oh, you said on Wednesday, big cat. What? We can't be shamed. We're not, we're not shaming. No, we're not shaming ideas. Well, I would like to know.

That's true. No, I'll shame this idea because I want to watch. I won't shame any idea that gets me to watch sports. I'll show you ideas that don't get me to watch sports. You could gamble on it and you could have Norm McDonald giving you updates. Maybe he'd have a periscope going. Listen, I've gambled on a lot of things that I haven't been able to watch. And if you gamble on something that you aren't able to watch, like, you know,

you bet on a game that's like I bet on like Philippines basketball or basketball in like, uh, I think there's a league in Nicaragua or something. You, if you lose and you can't watch it, you just assume that you got like taken and that there was, it never even happened and they just rigged it and stole your money. So everyone would just be very upset, myself included. Because of course I bet it. And then when my stupid bet lost, I'd be like, wait, this is rigged.

This never actually even happened. Okay. They could do one camera per hole. I'm fine. It was, listen, if they wanted, if they did a periscope of a golf tournament, now you're talking, now I'm in, but seeing it, you know, having a golf tournament just be played and not be able to watch it doesn't help me in my need to just watch a ball move around on my screen.

Okay. Every caddy gets, they have their phone out and they just do a periscope. How about this? Every caddy wears like a police officer body cam. Hmm. And then they accidentally turn it off right before their guy hits out of the bounce. I know how that goes.

Yeah. I mean, listen, we're going to, there's going to need to be some innovation because I don't, I don't know how they're going to get team sports going in the speed that we needed to go because April, I think we all agree. April is a wash. We're, I think collectively as a country where like April just didn't exist. We're just going to put our heads down and get through April. If we get to May and they're like, Hey, guess what?

Nothing's changing. That's when shit's going to get bad. We sleep in May, but I think that we should consider doing something like my idea for at least the U.S. Open just having it be played with nothing with no fans. Yeah, no fans is fine, but you need the cameras like I'd ever type a camera. You can have you can have one can you can just use here's you just take the fucking good year blunt and you just use that camera.

That's fine. And then you have to say like computer enhance and zoom in on whichever go for you. I'm all for that. I we need a camera. You're right. You know, camera doesn't work for me because I I'm I'm convinced we're not going to have fans for a year.

So the no fans ship has really sailed. Just give me a camera with a ball on the screen moving back and forth. But I have a drone that just hovers behind each golfer with a camera that has like a GPS tracker on the ball. This isn't difficult. If the USDA wants to talk to me, I'll take their call right now. We'll hammer this out on the back of a napkin and there will be a fucking U.S.

Open that we can watch. Yeah, I'm down for it. I'm down for it. Although have they all been canceled? Have they been pushed suspended or canceled? The open is had they have not made an official the U.S. Open, they have not made an official announcement. The British open, they did say that they're going to cancel if they just man.

This is the problem is they need to stop canceling. They just need to give the like we're talking about on Wednesday, the hope. I lost the hope. I'm trying to get the hope back, but they need to someone needs to create like a hey, if everyone can just hold out, we're going to put every single tournament like every other week in July and August and every single sporting event. Like we're going to play the NBA. Like it will be nonstop wall to wall sports for two months.

I could handle that. Just being like, hey, once we get there, it's going to be like the land before time when they come out and they see the fucking beautiful like whole world out there, that's what we need in July and August. I actually saw an idea. I think Matt Jones, a good friend of the program, tweeted this out, that it's looking more and more like the springtime in college sports is going to be both football and basketball next year.

That would be crazy. That would be nuts. That would be fucking that. You know, it's crack cocaine of a sports season. The only the only sport I'm going to make it till then. I am like, I'm not going to. I know we're just we just we just keep like passing the baton of who's the most negative. I think that's actually I know that people

want to listen to this show and and have an escape, but I think there also needs to be the reality where every single show we have someone's the designated downer because that's like if we don't do that, then we're just not realistic. And I think there's something to be said for the overly optimistic people who are it's the it's the just the flu people who think that this is all going to pass in like two seconds. I hate those people as much as I hate myself from Wednesday show being like cancel everything.

Well, here's some coronavirus positivity. Tommy is sort of still alive. The positivity of the night. Also shout out to Cabrona, bro. Hank Lockwood representing online today. Get into some argument, some hot ones. Maybe I got bored and I got mad. Maybe that's the new night team.

Maybe that's the new sport of America's pastime. Just watching Clay Travis move the goalposts all summer long. That's our new. That's our new pastime. I mean, we if we can come up with some sort of metric to track how far he's moving them and then gamble on that. That would be amazing if you're on Gamecast right now watching it, you're like, wait, how the fuck did they just how?

How do they have 80 more yards to go and they just had a 60 yard completion? What the fuck is going on? Oh, yeah, wind probability is going from 99 to 1% back and forth. The charts literally off the chart. A little perspective, though. So it's good to have kind of a sobering mindset to look at this through analytics and fortunately in this day and age, we have one of those type of people named Darren Ravel, who said the biggest issue facing many businesses

right now is that they never modeled a scenario of zero revenue with no guarantee of a timeline for future revenue. So that is talking business with part of my take. The big problem out there right now is when you go into business, you don't do so figuring how can my business make money when we're not making money? Right. Like when you're making no money, but you need to be making money. That's a problem.

The new stocks meme needs to just be Darren's avatar. Speaking of making money, everyone, please support our advertisers who are staying with us because podcasts, like we said, are we're hit too. It's a recession, but if you listen and enjoy this show and you see here and add that it tickles your fancy, don't be afraid to use one of our promo codes. We also have our friends at Trojan Condoms. You know what? Two things don't go together, physical distancing and hooking up, but that

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I'm shocked with the whole fecal matter thing that the rates in Germany are so low. Yes. Well, they probably have more than enough porn built up that people can just watch that. Yeah, but it's all just, I don't know. Seems like they like to rim stuff over in Germany. Um, all right.

Should we do some firefest before we get to Joe Buck and Oliver Hudson? Yeah. Big cap. The only other, uh, the only other sports notable thing that I saw is as a mellow ball actually pulling a big ball or move. Mm hmm. He bought, he bought his New Zealand team or his Australian team. So that is a big ball or move, but then wouldn't that, wouldn't that make

us big ballers fuck? It wouldn't that make us big ballers? Oh, yeah, we are. Yeah, I guess it would also did it in like a way where he was like, I just want to like, I, you know, he part of his dad's league. Like obviously you got shut down. He's like, I've, I've been a part of leagues that got shut down. Like I want to make sure all my people are like protected, which is for as young

a kid as he is a big, as big a ball or move as I've seen. I can't wait to see LaMelle ball in, in the, he's going to be jacking like the shots from half court and people are like, are you serious? Man eats, but no, but the tray young though, it's like, like, yeah, gonna be tray young. Well, yeah, you think now maybe LaMelle bought this team four years ago when he was doing it in high school and it was from half court, people were like, this is outrageous, but now I feel like it's much more accepted.

Yeah. He got 10,000 hours worth of shooting wild half court shots in and he's become a master at it. Just practice makes perfect. But I think that like buying the Australian team might be really, really good for him, especially considering, you know, how his dad tends to overshadow things, just send LeVar down there to be a coach or just put him on the roster. Yeah.

Half court shots, by the way, I was watching Hoosiers. I've been watching Hoosiers all week and I was wondering, How long does that take to watch? Well, we're watching it during radio. So we watched it at 20 minute times and we actually don't even listen to it. We just have Brandon Walker narrate it. But anyway, I threw this out there. What if, if Steph Curry was in 1951 Indiana, do you think they would burn

him as a witch? Yeah, for sure. Kyrie too. He would never see the court. He would never see the court. They would never see the court. They would probably actually just burn Kyrie for his weird beliefs before he even stepped foot on a basketball court.

Although his beliefs might have been like cool in Indiana in 1951. Be like, Hey, the world's actually still flat. Yeah. Maybe he would have been a genius though. Maybe he would have been like, you know, there's this thing that I've thought of called evolution and they'd be like, which and then they burn them. Question everything. All right.

What do we got for firefest? Hank, why don't you start? Um, my firefest is kind of a two for one, but, uh, PFT, like you were talking about your local businessman still being open the other day. My guy is not. I don't know what I'm going to do, but also like piggybacking off of that is I got you. Smoking in the way, in the way that like we're just, I'm just sitting in my like

700 square foot apartment all day, all night, every day, every night. Like the act of smoking like isn't even fun anymore. Like it's just lost its luster. I like it's just like, it's not even, no, not even that. Like not even like, it used to be like, you know, you go to work and you come home and it's like, whatever, everything, everything. There is no like, I'm going to do this and then I'm going to do this. It's just like, yeah, nothing, doing nothing is not fun anymore because you

have to do something to do nothing. And we do nothing. So now nothing is nothing. Right. It's not like my tolerance is so high that I just have hit a limit. It's just like, I don't, it's just, it's not fun anymore. Yeah. I think I got you.

I think what you need to start doing is just build a new piece to smoke out of, out of like different ingredients every time you smoke. So like smoke, have an apple and then later in the day, get like a mountain dew bottle and a ballpoint pen and some aluminum foil. You should, oh, here's what you should do, Hank, similar to that, but you should just go back in, in like your, uh, smoking history, start it like the beginning and, and then just live your life like you were, you know, every single piece you had your entire life, like start with, yeah, start with like,

uh, yeah, can, can, yes, yes, go in the woods every day. Yes, yes, open up, open up your own browsing history of smoking stuff. And then eventually, you know, you'll, you'll start to Google new ways to smoke and you'll find out ways that you haven't even thought of. And you'll come out of this thing stronger than before. Well, but the back to the first part of it is that like my building, like there's a, there's a doorman and they're not letting deliveries come inside. Like they're not letting people in the building.

So I don't even know how, like, I think I'm just going to stop smoking because I don't know how I'm going to get it. What? Probably not, but I don't think that's going to happen. Nice try though. All right. What do you do? Hank, let's take this offline.

What, what, what's your firefest PFT? My firefest is I stopped pooping. Okay. That's, I didn't need to know that. No, you, you do because I don't know what's going on. So it's lost, it's lost it for me and pooping is lost. It's lost it for you. No, I just, my body, I guess, is adapting to the quarantine.

So maybe, maybe my body knows that in crisis mode. Yeah, I'm eating. Maybe my body knows to just like step it up in terms of absorbing all the proper nutrients. Maybe my body understands that there's a toilet paper shortage. Did you stop drinking coffee? No, I'm drinking more coffee. I'm having some right now.

What about when you, what about like when you're fucking busting out your arm workout on your Peloton? Does that not make you like, does that not get the adrenaline going? I don't do the arm part of the Peloton, big cat. I go straight legs, high impact interval training, Tabata. Aren't all those races arms and legs though? Some of them have arm sections in them, but most people don't do the arms. So anyways, the arm weights only like two pounds.

We actually pooped more than two pounds at a time normally. So wait, but do you skip the arm workout when you're supposed to be doing it? You know, it always says optional on there. Oh, well, then you're, you got to do it though. Is Booger doing it? No, Booger definitely has to do it. I bet you Booger crushes. No, he's, no, he's publicly said that he does not do the arm workout.

Interesting. Yeah. So no, the weird thing is just like, I don't know, um, you know how like women get into a relationship with the tides and the moon with their periods and stuff? That's how my butt is acting just with the supply chain stock at my local grocery store. Like, you know, you're scared that there's no toilet paper. How scared are you? Like I'd be terrified for my first poop.

Yeah, it's not. I'm excited. It's gonna hurt. I, so I pooped yesterday morning, but that was the first time in like three days, two and a half days, and it kind of hurt. And then today I sat down for a while just hoping, just like thinking, if I'm in the room, something, yeah, I do that too. I mean, that's part of my day.

It's just like, let's go to the bathroom. And now I'm mad at Leroy because I let him out three times a day. He craps every single time. Maybe I should start eating dog food. There you go. Makes Leroy poop all the time. Yeah. Um, all right.

My fire fest is, uh, I bought a trumpet. I've been playing the trumpet, uh, during the cat cave Derby tonight. There was the first night that my neighbor banged on the wall and was like, shut the hell up. So I think that I, you know, that's one of those situations where I was probably in the wrong, screaming at toy horse horses as they go around a track and blasting a trumpet. Um, but still that kind of feels intrusive. Like the people want to hear me try to play the trumpet. So now I've gotten that robbed for me.

What else can I do? That's a moment where if you're big cat's neighbor and like everything just gets louder and louder over the course of two weeks and then a trumpet kicks in, like you got, you got to be fucking kidding me. But here's the thing. It's only from six 57 to like 707. So I think I'm going to slide a note under her door and be like, Hey, 10 minutes a day. I run an illegal toy horse track.

You're just going to have to deal with those 10 minutes. You got to, you got to, you got to spin it all until it gets for Corona relief. And then that's true mental health. Yeah. It is my mental. It's my support animal. Yes. Yes.

Okay. I'm, it turns out the Trump, it's really hard to play. Didn't know. Oh yeah. For sure. Why don't you get a bugle? It's only three buttons. I thought you bugle low and there's three buttons, right?

Google wasn't going to get here till like late May. I don't know if you've checked out Amazon shipping times, but it's, it's a fucking wild scene. No, I haven't talked to my bugle guy in a while. But no, Hank, the three, the three valves on the trumpet. It's not like a trumpet only plays three notes. Those are just used to control a variety of the notes they play. Yeah.

There you go. Big cat. Big cat. Let's hear a note. Three buttons. Let's hear it. There you go. Sounds good.

How does I'm going to play it? Regular wind Marcellus over there. Louis Armstrong, baby. All right. Let's get to our interview with Joe Buck and Oliver Hudson. Before we do that, a word from our friends at free fly. So this one, I'm going to go off script for this one because did you guys get your box of free fly?

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Okay. Here they are Joe Buck and Oliver Hudson. Okay. We now welcome on our good friend Joe Buck and his new co-host Oliver Hudson because they have a new podcast. It is called Daddy Issues. The first episode was out yesterday. So go find it.

Go listen to it. Joe has decided he loves us so much. He's going to enter our world. And Joe, before we start, my first question is actually for Oliver. Daddy issues. Yeah. We know Joe's Daddy Issues. His daddy issue is his dad was super famous and he was basically born on 3rd.

Thought he hit a triple nepotism, got like all his success due to his dad. That's his daddy issue. What's your daddy issue, Oliver? Well, you sort of, you just explained mine as well in a strict way. I think this is why we're pretty much doing this. But I have, I have, I have different daddy issues, I would say. My, my dad around until I was around 11 or 12. And then he kind of left the picture, which of course is informed every fucking thing

in my life, whether it be relationships, career, self-esteem, all the bad shit. You know what I mean? So that is my daddy issue. As far as the nepotism goes, I grew up in a family of famous people. OK, so, you know, I am in the proverbial shadow. I might put myself there. I understand that. That's my own problem.

If we want to go into a psychology session, we can. But I'm always trying to sort of, you know, make mommy and daddy proud. I'm not sure I have yet. Can you name drop for us? Name drop for us for people who might not. My, my mother is Goldie Hawn. No big deal. My step, my stepdad who I call Pa, because he raised me, you know, is Kurt Russell.

Ever heard of him? Yeah. And my sister is losing in Kate Hudson. Who? OK, OK. And then, of course, I've got my little brother who played professional hockey himself, his name is Wyatt Russell. And he got hurt in Holland in Germany and playing hockey is growing blue out. And basically, he came to came to my home and said, I want to be an actor. And within months, he's got two movies at Sundance and, you know,

everything's fucking great. And, you know, I've been, I've been, I've been doing great. I'm doing good. But, you know, I have a little bit of a different path than everyone else. You got a podcast going. You're basically a king right now. Yeah. So do you guys have any advice that you'd like to ask us for? Like now you're stepping into our world.

Joe, we have never, out of respect for you, we have never gotten into, you know, the major market, major network, play by play game, even though you've had many offers that you don't seem to feel that same way about us. So what can we help you with as you're becoming a podcaster? Well, what I don't understand is that you give these podcasts away for free. Mm hmm. That's how you hook them. It's like drugs. Mm hmm. So, OK, so the gateway is you get to click on a little icon.

Everybody gets into this thing for free. And then somehow you guys make money and and some great big, big wig at the top of the food chain sells hundreds of millions of dollars that he has. Yeah, pretty much. That doesn't make sense. Well, OK, so let me explain to you from our perspective, it's kind of like when we stream your football and baseball games on the internet for free and don't pay a cable bill, that's kind of like the same thing.

Fair enough. All right. Well, I like being on this side of it then. Yeah, I like I like living in your way. I mean, we all know, look, when when Oliver and I decided to go into this whole thing, I said, there's really one place where we have to go. And that is my friends and pardon my take, because we have had a great relationship. We tend to fuck around quite a bit. However, where wherever I go, I get more

comments on being on your podcast than anything I do, Super Bowl, World Series, whatever, and that's that's mind blowing to me and good on you. And we can only hope to be one third is brilliant. I think that I think that you, you know, understood how you can be successful outside of the world that you're in. And you want to monetize that, you know what I mean? These are tough times for Joe. I don't think, you know, these are tough times for Joe.

I'll just speak about Joe for a second, because I think a lot of people, well, most people know Joe in the booth and usually a loot food with some weird tie that's OK, make up is decent. Half the time he has a beard, half the time he doesn't. You know, his hair, depending on what time of year it is, looks good. Right. But no one knows who Joe Buck really is. You know, I've been friends with him for a long time now.

Golf introduced us and we got really tight. And I think this is a fun way for acts for people that and you guys know who Joe is to experience Joe outside of him in a booth. You know, the guys got issues. The guy is major in securities. And I think people know who he really is. Major in security. One of the biggest compliments that we get is you guys made Joe Buck likeable.

Like it's like it's a really huge accomplishment for us. But here's the thing. I actually think that it is because Joe, when he talks to us, we are so unlikeable that it makes Joe look good in the process. So we're just we're taking over. We're becoming the biggest asshole on set, which you're not used to. And so when they see you in comparison to us, they're like, oh, Joe's not as bad as those two other chuckle fucks.

So it's it's like basically what you're saying is it's like the whoever it is that follows Charles Manson into the parole board hearing. They're obviously going to look a hell of a lot better than whoever just walked out. If I was in prison and I had murdered hundreds of people, I'd say, hey, what time is Manson's appointment to talk to the parole board? I want to go after him. Yeah, so you'd be fine. Yeah, I think that's fair.

OK, good. Well, it's good for me to put a put a definition to it and to understand it better because it is kind of mind blowing for me. Yeah. So Oliver, has he called you Troy yet? No, we're working on that. Yeah, we're working on that. I have I have a question for both of you. It's it's a little game we play called you have to tell the truth no matter what.

OK, I'll start with you, Oliver. What's your favorite Kate Hudson movie? Almost famous. Yeah, same. And then yeah, that seems me. And Joe, how much money did ESPN offer you to be the Monday Night Football Host? Twenty eight million dollars. What? Can we report that?

Yes, go with that. Go with that because that's the number I'm going to negotiate off next time around. I want to know, Joe, if he's if there's any jealousy about that Tony Romo money or not. Yeah, good question. Oliver. On my part, absolutely one million percent zero. Now, maybe for other one million percent zero.

I'm trying to figure out what that I have. I know I have no yeah, I have no animosity, jealousy, anything. I am happy for him and he doesn't do what I do. So, you know, I wonder about others in this business trying to follow that model. To me, Romo was in the absolute perfect place at the perfect time with two networks that were dying to either keep him or get him. And it just came up at the right time for him and he cashed in so good for him. So, no, I have no no jealousy toward that at all.

OK, so let's flip it. Do you think that Troy has any jealousy towards Rome, you know, you not being Jim Nance setting up Troy to make 17 million dollars a year. That's a great question. That there could be potential jealousy and animosity and I guess pure hatred on his part toward me going forward because I have failed him unlike Jim Nance with Tony Romo. So I promise to be more Nance like if he promises to be more Romo like going forward.

I like that. So actually, what you should just do is go out to dinner with some ESPN executives and just make sure that the paparazzi is there. I'm sure you probably have paparazzi falling around anyways. But call ahead and let them know where you're going to be. Just have your picture taken walking out of the way the paparazzi the paparazzi seen in St. Louis is massive, massive, massive. It's a guy with a disposable

camera and a creepy creepy man in a trench coat with a Polaroid. Yes, it's you, Joe. We haven't talked to you since Super Bowl. Yeah, go ahead, go ahead. Yeah, yeah, I mean, I thought that you did a great job in the second quarter. Well, no, you did a fine job. You just blatantly made up a nickname for playoff Damien that no one in America ever thought was real and thought you could just like say it.

And we'd be like, oh, yeah, his name is definitely playoff Damien. Well, OK, well, then you're hanging yourself here. You're hanging yourself here because you want me to say Yabo. Yeah, there's you want me to throw that in and just kind of make that fit. If there's ever any time that I can make that happen, I'll think back to this time when playoff Damien was scoring touchdown after touchdown in the playoffs, six playoff games, 11 touchdowns, 85 regular season games, 22 touchdowns.

And I read it in the clips leading into the game. So if I made it up, I guess I had somebody else made it up before. Someone definitely was like, yo, how do we fuck Joe Buck? The fact that no, no, don't let him pass pass the buck on this one because you still have all those stats about playoff Damien buried in your head because you did so much research going into it while you were coming up with a nickname. No, wrong. I did so much research. I don't even remember who won the game.

I did so much research leading into this interview that I knew you guys were going to hit because I listened to your podcast and I heard it and I was like, oh, there, you know, they thought we did a decent job, which is all you can hope for when you broadcast to 100 million people. And then it's like, but playoff Damien, like I'm trying to sell Danny Dines t-shirts. I it was just a thing and I threw it out there and I throw myself on your mercy for a little bit of leniency in this, in this case. Denied. All right. Yeah.

Denied that. And we, we verified it with Chris Jones. We had Chris Jones in studio like two weeks after and we're like, come on. He's like, I don't think anyone's ever called him playoff Damien. That makes no sense. So you're saying Chris Jones is up on all the, you know, the clips and everything else that I read going into a game like that. Okay. I think no, he spends time with him. Yeah. He knows if he, if there was a nickname like playoff Damien going around

the locker room, he would have known and put a stop to it. I actually suggested that they call him big game, Dame. And he was like, yeah, that's a way better name or playoff D than playoff Damien. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I agree with you. I agree with you, but you're, you're, you're assuming then that I made it up and I didn't, I will find the clip. So help me God. Okay. I will find the clip.

Yeah. I have two things to ask you about the world series. Number one, why didn't you use my, and the Houston Astros can suck on D's gnats at the end of game seven. I think that's pretty self-explanatory. What's your next one? Okay. My other one is how come you weren't on the ball and alerting America to the fact that the Astros were cheating this whole time. It's on me.

It's totally on me and Oliver and I've talked about this all the time. I, uh, I should have alerted everybody because, you know, I was clearly in on it somehow, some way. I'd agree. You were at the games and you were hearing trash cans being banged. Probably hobbob without to vey. You love to say the name out to vey. It rolls right off the tongue.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't buy that at all. I still think you should have known about it. The amount of Astros games that you've attended over the course of the last two years, you knew something was up and you hit it from America. I did. And again, I throw myself at your mercy. I'm sorry to you and America. Um, Oliver, the next questions for you, uh, I read, uh, that you were in the 2005 World Series of poker and you busted on the first hand.

How much did that suck? It was, uh, it was one of the worst moments of my life, honestly. I mean, it was not your, wait, not the whole, I mean, daddy issues. Like, no, no, no, this was far worse. Oh, okay. All right. Oh, I, uh, I clearly worse than abandonment. Oh yeah.

Oh, it was, it was a horrifying experience. This is a $10,000 buy-in. I go to, I go to Vegas with my girlfriend who's now my wife at the time. I said, stay asleep. We started 11. It's going to be a long ass day. Go to my table and it says, proceed to the featured table, the ESPN table. Cause it was Daniel, Daniel Negron, you have Sammy Farah were just paired up with

me, seated with me. So now I've got my little bag lunch and my fucking stupid sunglasses on that I now regret wearing. And I sit down, first hand, shuffle up and deal. It was a hand that could never get away from if you watch it. I don't want to go through the whole hand, but it was just an impossibility to get away from the hand, but it all got in the middle on the turn. And, uh, that was fucking that.

And that was it. I mean, I, I, I, I, it was a horrible, horrible beat. And, uh, it was a sad moment for me. What were your cards for that? I had pocket 10s. I pocket 10s and the flop was ACE, ACE 10, um, Sammy Farah, ACE 10. So it was just, everything, everything was on the flop. Everything.

You know, we should, we should rename the, uh, the double 10s that should have its own name, like what, what's dead man's hand is one of them. That should be. Well, I was playing, I was playing a ton of poker at the time at commerce and hustler and all I was like heavily into poker. And then after that, I would go to the casinos and people would say, call me pocket 10s. That became sort of my nickname. Oh my God, you pocket 10s.

And that sucks. They should call that the patino hand because you bust real fast, real fast. Um, wait, Oliver, you have another podcast. Yeah, man. It's called sibling revelry with my sister. Who's your sister? Uh, Janet, Janet Jackson. Damn, I was looking at it because I was, so this is actually a real question

because I was, I was just googling it and I was, uh, hoping that you had quit it because I, one of my favorite things about the podcast boom is everyone gets a podcast and then after like three weeks, they're like, this actually kind of sucks. I ran out of stories. Uh, how are you guys going to not run out of stories? We're fucking crushing right now. I just got to say it. What, what, it's, it's been an amazing experience.

There's no, I think he's talking about you and me not running out of stories. Yeah, you can take the pin out of your mouth. When you brought, when you do a podcast, that's a first step. The weed pen. We actually messed up doing that. Our first episode too. We were both, we're both chewing on a hookah and Hank was like, Hey, maybe take the pin out.

Okay. Take a, take a poll, blow it out and then start talking. Yes. Yes. So wait, so how are you guys going to keep going? Yeah. Well, look, who the hell knows, man? I mean, I just want to keep talking to Joe.

It's a weekly situation. So it's a current show, right? So we're going to, we're going to get on the phone as friends and sort of just wrap about what that week, what happened during that week. And then we're also going to have guests on as well. Okay. To answer your question, I, you know, look, if, if, we all know how it works, right?

If people, if people subscribe, if the show actually takes off, we can actually sell some ads and it becomes something viable, then we keep going. If it does, I get to hang out with a friend and talk with a, talk with one of my, one of my best friends. All right. So let's role play real quick. Uh, why don't you, I'll be Joe and you be Oliver and actually, no, PFT, you be Oliver.

Why don't you start the show, uh, in, in let's say it's like the third week of October, just randomly, I picked that date. Okay. Third week of October, here we go. Uh, are you Joe? Yeah, I'm Joe. I'm, I'm you Oliver. Yeah.

Hey, what's up? Welcome back to caller daddy issues. I was going to clam town on this broad the other week and it was awesome. Uh, anyways, Joe, my sister and I were talking the other week, you know my sister, right? You've met her. Yeah. Your podcast.

So my mom, Goldie Han was telling me that I should tee you up for this story. Listen, Oliver, I'm going to stop you right there. I have a world series game to call tonight. I have an NFL game to call on Sunday. I have a Thursday night game to call on Thursday. And then I have another world series game to call on Friday. So this podcast is over. That's cool.

I'm available whenever. And that's how it's going to go. You can use it. You can put it in your feed. Well, good. There's our promo. That's it. Oh, but I'm going to, I'm going to, it's a great excuse for me to get away from

my wife and kids for a minute because I'm going to travel. I'm going to go on the road. If we ever fucking play sports again, but I will, I will go to Green Bay. I will go to Philly. I'm going to travel a little bit. You know, nice. I love that. So you'll give your kids daddy issues by working on the podcast daddy issues.

And you will be, you will be, uh, Yoko Ono to Joe's John Lennon. Right. Yes, the, the, the booth is basically split up higher career. Yeah. Oh, I was thinking, I was thinking more of, uh, kind of the spooning in bed with the photographers in the room. Yes. Week of their lives.

Yeah. That should, that should be our, our, our, our cover art. That would be a great picture. That would be great. Have you guys decided who's going to read the ads? Because I feel like, I don't know, uh, uh, Roman erectile dysfunction swipe ad read coming through Joe Buck. Yeah, I can't wait to go for a premium.

Can't wait. By the way, on, on, on my, on the podcast sibling revel with my sister, you know, it's, we have to decide on what ads we want to read because she's got like a thousand businesses and there's conflicts of interest. But I said to her, I said, the one thing that I do want to do, I don't care what you say is those romance wipes because, you know, it's just a great, it's such a great ad to read. I mean, you know, trying them out, have you tried those things by the way?

I have never been, never been an issue for me. Cause I don't have sex. Yeah. Um, Oliver, is that weird though? When Kate's like, I got a million businesses. I don't know what you ads doing. You're like, I got nothing. Oh, dude, yeah, that's, that's, that's part of, that's part of the conversation.

That's part of the conversation I have with her. I'm like, I'm like, Kate, you know, she's been great by the way. But I'm like, look, we have to read the Sakura ad. Like I don't care what you say. Like it has to get done. I don't care if you wear rockies or not. It's, we have to fucking read it. You know, so she knows.

Yeah, Joe, I saw you were going a little stir craze around the house. And now you're just narrating random tweets, like videos that people send to you. Is that, and I saw one today, uh, from a very ponderous man sitting by a window looking out, gazing upon the pastures outside his window. And, uh, I'm going to lay something down on that tonight. Yeah, I, at least it's for charity. I know you're going to even shit about it, but at least, uh, hopefully it will force you somehow some way to donate to some charity to help people out during

this very difficult time in our nation. Yeah. That's actually, it's tricky because with all this time on our hands, I've found myself getting out-charityed just like I get bored. And so I want to do something nice for somebody else. And then at the end of the day, I'm poor and I spent all my money on charities. Well, so you're, this is what? A moment for us to feel sorry for you?

Well, no, that's what I'm doing this interview with you is because we get paid $75,000 per show. I got to get back into the studio so then I can go spend it all on more charities. But no, it's nice what you're doing. What's the best clip that anybody's sent you so far? Uh, well, I mean, look, for this audience, I think it's probably a little too G rated, um, and obviously I can't get into on my public Twitter doing the kind of thing that, you know, the, the type of humor that I would typically do with friends.

So, you know, whether it's a family clearing out an entire living room worth of furniture and playing two on two basketball against one another or two kids just playing like the best point in tennis in the basement on carpet with, uh, with like really good shots. And I, it's amazing what people are doing to try and occupy their time, get out of the house, break up the monotony. Uh, and, and I get to see it all, all flooding my way. Some of them are ridiculous.

Some of them are, you know, look at my dog, uh, sit on his, uh, mat and eat a treat. But most of them are pretty cool and interesting and worthwhile. What, uh, Joe, are you, are you going stir crazy yet without sports or are you, cause this is kind of not your busy season. I mean, you have the U S open usually, uh, a little later on, you do baseball, but are you, where are you at with like, we need sports back meter? I miss sports more to not be able to sit on my couch and watch it. Um, uh, that, that's where I miss it.

You're right. I mean, this is my downtime after the Super Bowl, after playoffs, Damian did his thing, uh, and I, this is normally the time when I kind of recharge and I'm around the house. Now I'm not around the house like I am currently, which is nonstop with just under two year old twin boys, uh, but to have all that time and then my daughters are back in town, uh, it, you know, while people are literally fighting for their lives, I think the silver lining for some is, uh, is at least getting a chance

to reconnect and, you know, have a dinner or just see what's going on in people's lives. We all move so fast. That's, that's a small silver lining to what is a national, you know, tragedy at this point. Yeah. And Oliver, are you a sports fan yourself? Yeah.

Yeah. I've been a sports fan for a long time. I've been a big Lakers fan, uh, you know, Dodgers playoff Dodger fan, typical LA sports fan, annoying. Well, not, no, I mean, I've been a, I've been a, I've been a devout Lakers fan, but other than that, I will say that I'm a playoff baseball fan. I can't watch all the fucking games. I can't do it.

I'm a playoff, I'm a big golf, I'm a big golf, golf, golf fan too. How do you think, uh, Joe does with the U S open? I think he does well, actually. Yeah. No, I think he does a good job. I mean, he's got to sort of put the handcuffs on. It's, it's, it's, it's strange, you know, to hear him sort of more sub, the more subdued, but I think it's, it's honestly not that difficult.

I mean, who, who, you sit in a trailer and, you know, you, you can read things and you watch TV and just comment on like a, you know, putts and, you know, how the yardage is and the wind direction and, you know, throw a few little things in there here and there and rely on using her or whoever's next to him as the color guy, tossing a fun fact about the person who just won his girlfriend. That turns out not to be his girlfriend anymore. It's like easy stuff like that.

Actually, Joe, did you notice that they replayed that US Open on Fox like last week and I watched it at the very end. Just to hear you talk about books kept his girlfriend and they didn't cut it out as wonderful. No, with that one was on, I know the Shinnecock one was on. Um, I did not see that one. I could never live that down. And that's just part of my, it's part of my, uh, part of my IMDB page.

It's part of my, part of my Wikipedia. I, it's whatever. If you go through life without a controversy section in your Wikipedia page, did you really even live? It's true. That's true. Yeah. I think if you're on air live for that many hours, at some point, you're going

to misidentify somebody's girlfriend. I actually was worse, uh, back in 2001, pre-social media, thank God, when I interviewed Tony Womack from down on the field and asked him if the woman standing next to him was his mom and he stopped in the middle of an interview after winning a playoff game and said, no, man, that's my wife. Yeah, that's tough. Did I give you guys like from a pro that's been in this biz for a while? If you want to get a real pop with your very first episode, you need to have

already laying on as your guest. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I actually, I actually would love to have already laying on, uh, as our guest first or last or whenever it would happen. Artie and I are good.

Did you, speaking of that, uh, show, did you ever, uh, did you party with Paul Rudd after the Super Bowl? I never saw Rudd for one second down there. You guys, you guys may have, I never, we, we texted. We never ran across one another. Um, I got a picture from him, uh, he, you know, there obviously Kansas city. His son, Jack is a huge chief fan and was so excited when they won that he actually, uh, had a nosebleed start.

He was so emotional about them winnings. So that's the picture I have never saw him, never partied with him, barely partied at all that entire week. Oh, so you did party. Yeah. I mean, you have to kind of do some things, but, uh, not, not much. I'd saw, I saw a PFT at, uh, at some event for someone like an ESPN thing. Wasn't it?

It was at, uh, the Darlington, Carissa Thompson party. That's right. Yeah. And you, you gave me a hug. You saw me, you came up and you pushed my hand out of the way and you were like, we're going to hug now. I, I, I'm glad that we're at hug level, but I didn't know that I was. Well, we were.

You were probably high before then. Yeah. Yeah. You had a random nosebleed too at that party. You had a pacifier in your mouth and you're doing a Molly. Um, all right. I got one last Oliver's Oliver right now is sitting back going, you know what? I think I want to listen to this podcast going.

I liked it. Yeah. Oliver actually on Wednesday, we had, uh, or two a week ago, we had Joe's favorite team, the head coach, Craig Bruby. So you can listen to that and maybe be like, Hey, I, you know, let's talk blues. You guys ever have like big, do you guys ever have like, like big movie actors on? Yeah. Like, uh, Zac Efron, Rob, Adam Sandler.

You have Sandler on? Uh, yeah. David Spade. Uh, Topher Grace, Topher Grace. Um, David Wallace from the office, you give Spade shit or did you? Or what do you like? Did you, oh yeah, we shit in his mouth. Okay.

Mm hmm. Um, I have one last, I have one last question. It's not a question. It's going to be a read a tweet. This actually, Joe, I actually, so it's a tweet for both of you. I've one for you, Joe, one for you, Oliver. Someone tweeted out, I don't understand why people hate Joe Bucks so much. Dislike is one thing.

Hate is quite another. He's a homegrown talent whose candidates ever can hold his own in multiple sports with broadcasting and doesn't mind taking shots at himself. What's the hate? Now, almost all the replies were in agreement being like Joe Bucks awesome. So I think the Joe, like, why do people hate Joe Bucks is actually a myth now. I don't think it's real anymore. I don't think people hate you except for this one guy who said low skill level

and got his job because of systematic nepotism. He's not where he is because of merit, but if you're born with the right birth certificate credentials, you can pass people with more talent and work ethic in our society, but mostly because mostly people dislike him because he's bad. Yeah, I think that kind of covers it all. Yeah, I think so too. Oliver, your tweet, that was actually big cat sent that. Yeah, no, it is crazy though.

I think it is a myth. I really do. I think it's there was a time where people hated you and now people are like, there's just a myth out there like, why do everyone just treats? Why do people hate Joe Buck? And it was like, no one hates Joe Buck. Really? As we've talked about this before, when we when we started our podcast, right,

we are the guy who is editing our sound, he's a huge Dodgers fan. And I said, do you hate Joe Buck? And I said, be straight up. And he said he did. And I said, why? He said because he seems to always root for the other team. Okay. But then Joe had a great explanation for this.

People, you can say Joe, but people are watching their regional announcers. They're team announcers. Yeah, I'm, I'm the only guy to do National World Series since the advent of social media. So it's, it just is what it is. My dad used to get it, Scully used to get it, but it was a different time. You'd have to sit down, write a letter and you want it the biggest times. And I felt this way with your aforementioned guest for Ruby in the blues

team I root for as great as Doc Emmerich is, as great as Candy Albert is. I wanted the hometown guys that live and die like I do with the blues fortunes to be calling the action like I've heard all year. And when you hear somebody get excited when the other team scores or hits a home run, like, why, why are they so excited? I don't hear that all year. So naturally you think they're rooting for the other team, which is just stupid. It's not true.

Okay. I get it with baseball because I agree with baseball. Baseball, you grind it out with your guys, 162 games, but football, I don't, I don't think anyone really hates you anymore. I really don't. I think you have, I've told you this, but you have the big game voice that it's, it's very rare and every time you're announcing a game, it feels important. Well, thank you.

That's, it's taken a long time to get there. And I, you know, I think a lot of that stuff bleeds over. A Phillies fan is an Eagles fan, a Giants fan is a Yankees fan. It goes, it's not like people just live and die with one sport, but yeah, it's, it's part of the, it's part of the shit you have to take to do what I get to do, which is, you know, I wouldn't want to be doing anything else. So I don't really care, but that's why I'm doing a podcast. That's why I come on with you and I've talked, I've talked to other people.

Someone paid me 50 million a year to be hated by everyone. I would, I'd do that too. Easy. Me too. Yeah. Easy. Oliver, your tweet was from spicy chicken queen, uh, November 17, 2015. She said, she said, Oliver Hudson, I want to suck his dick for two hours.

Hell yeah. What do you think about that? That's, should I retweet that? That's too long. You're going to need a lot of Roman. You're going to need a lot of Roman. Too much. I like that.

I'll take that. Wait, why, why did I get the tweet that I got and he got that tweet? It's just random. We just pulled them both up randomly. Yeah, it's completely right. It's a random tweet generator. Okay, good. Joe, I want to get a little intel out of you and then we'll let you guys go.

When is sports coming back? Yeah. I'm sure you're on the inside of all this decision making. You know, I honestly, if we can be real for a minute, I, I don't, I don't think anybody has any idea and I say that because I just talked to my, my boss at Fox, uh, you know, they're, they're talking about all kinds of scenarios, but it all depends on when the curtain comes up. So when does baseball start?

I don't know. Do you aim for the all star game and have that be the kickoff? Do you start a little bit before? Do you have to have 80 81 games to feel like you had somewhat of a real season? You know, what about the NHL, the NBA? You're down to the end and you got the playoffs coming. I literally have no idea from people who are running these sports and networks, then I think the answer is nobody has any idea when this stuff's going to start back up.

Sorry, sorry to tell you that. We're going to have football season though, right? I, I, yeah. I don't think so. Say yes. Just say yes. Yeah. Yeah.

We will have football. Joe Buck has reported that he heard from Fox big way. I, I, I have definitively reported we will have football season. There we go. I love it. I feel better. Do you feel comforted? No, not really.

Way better. Are you guys, are you, wait, are you guys ever going to come on our air and talk about your daddy issues? Nope. I mean, I like my dad. I'll tell you my daddy issue right now. It's opening day. And so we recorded this last Thursday night opening day.

I think it was in fourth or fifth grade. My dad came to the school. He brought my glove. He brought my Baltimore Orioles hat and he pulled me out of class and he said, we're going to go to opening day. They announced over the loudspeaker. So my whole class saw me like get up to leave. My dad puts me in the van.

We start driving out of school. He turns around and he says April fools and drops me back off at the school at the front door and send me back to class. And everyone's like, yo, I thought you were going to again. It was like, no, my dad just punked me. Yeah. That's, that's worse than my dad leaving when I was 12. Agreed.

Not worse than the World Series of Poker though. No, definitely not. Not the dead man said, but to my dad's credit, he just called me about like an hour ago and left me a voicemail saying, Hey, it's opening day. Just want to apologize again for what I did to you in elementary school. We call every year. Yeah. Well, there you go.

This is exactly why this podcast is needed in this world. Everybody's got a fucked up story about something that happened that they'll never let go. Thank you guys. Joe Buck, Kate Hudson's brother. Go check out daddy issues. You can find it everywhere. Podcasts are right. That's right.

Subscribe. It's Goldie Han Son and Jack Buck's son. Yeah. Jack Buck's son and Goldie Han Son. Yeah. Thanks God. Yes. No, seriously.

Thank you guys though. This sounds like an awesome podcast. You guys are going to be the podcast that people go on when they want to cry. That's right. That's right. That's right. All right. Well, thank you guys.

Appreciate it. I miss you guys. I miss you. I miss your home show. I was thinking about that. That interview with Joe Buck and Oliver Hudson was brought to you by McCain Potatoes. That's right. McCain Potatoes.

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You will love them. The interview is also brought to you by our good friends at Roe. Yep. As the novel coronavirus pandemic escalates in the United States, public health officials like Dr. Fauci are encouraging those who are experiencing signs or symptoms of COVID-19, such as coughing, fever, et cetera, to seek medical guidance remotely. Okay.

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They're going to see if you are at risk. And if they need to refer you to somebody, they will refer you to a medical provider. So if you're worried at all, getroman.com slash barstool. That's getroman.com slash barstool. Okay, let's get some segments. First up, we have LeBron James update from our preeminent LeBron James reporter, LeBron James. PFT, you have the tweet.

Yes, this is from LeBron James Twitter account. LeBron James update, thinking about maybe sitting down and breaking down some of my most memorable games and moments in my career. Maybe IG live or just film it and hold on to it for another time. So LeBron James is thinking about maybe doing content at some point. I'm sure he just got drunk last night and saw a commercial for the Michael Jordan documentary and was like, you know what, I think I need to get in the content game because maybe it maybe we'll do an 11 part LeBron James documentary.

You know what sucks about this is that I actually would love to see this. Hank, I don't know if you if you're on the same side, I would love to see this simply because LeBron James actually is like a basketball genius. And I think he has close to a photographic memory. So I would love anytime someone explains like what was going through their head through a big moment, I'm all in. And it hurts me to say it because I already know that LeBron is going to be super annoying during the MJ doc and try to make it all about LeBron.

And I don't even think LeBron's in the MJ doc, which is sneaky awesome. But yeah, but I would watch this and I would like to hear LeBron like break down his biggest game's biggest place. Oh, I would a million percent watch it if he ever made it. But it's very clear that he's doing it. It would be so slanted. But Hank, seeing pro LeBron James being like LeBron James was good at basketball. Well, in today's day and age, I feel like I feel like back in the day, like it was one

thing where like nowadays, everyone that's anyone has a production company, like they do like their own TV show, like their own internet thing, like it is way more set up for the athletes to be in control of whatever they put out. Whereas Michael Jordan's era, they probably just had a camera rolling and he was like, whatever, a camera's rolling. So it's going to be much better. Whereas LeBron, like Dwayne Wade's documentary, they didn't talk about like the controversial shit and they just made it look like Dwayne Wade was like the greatest ever.

Okay. It would be the same thing with LeBron. So here's what we need to do. LeBron should do this, but he should start with the eight point game in the finals against the maps and explain what was going through his brain then. And then after, after that, it's okay. He can talk about everything else. So you're just concerned Hank, that's going to be propaganda.

I'm not concerned. I know it would be. Right. Of course. Also the NBA was fixed. Like the reason they beat the Celtics in 2010 was because the NBA was fixed anyway. So I know it's all right. Well, it just takes all of us in the fact that when, when LeBron James says thinking about

maybe do you guys see they were showing maybe later, it's just not going to do it. They were showing fucking game seven of the Warriors game and they, they ESPN cut out Kyrie Irving's three pointer that won the game. Yes. I did see that shot. What was that? That didn't happen. And I hate Kyrie.

No, wait, wait, wait, wait. That was a game seven of the finals. He did a chase down block finals. They cut that out. Yes. I saw that LeBron chased down. He did the block and then Cas one missed.

Yeah, exactly. Because Kevin played good defense. Exactly. No, it was actually LeBron playing defense on stuff. They, they, they did a green screen remake of it. Gotcha. Yeah. LeBron definitely will make it slanted about himself if he ever gets around to maybe doing it.

But the fact that he was like, maybe I'll just IG live it. You can hear him over the course of this tweet, like talking himself out of doing any of the actual work that would go into like a heavy undertaking like that. Yes. You know what documentary I would absolutely watch over the, even over the Michael Jordan one, the like 2000 Portland Trailblazers documentary.

The jailblazers. Yeah. We're like Damon Stottemire, Rashid Wallace. Or the Wizards with Gilbert and, and Koran, Koran, whatever. Koran Ballet. They should put out the, the jailblazers one on 420 one day after the Michael Jordan one. That would be sick.

That would be sick. Let's do our Mount Fleshmore. And then let's do some King of Kong, Fistful of Quarters, the most ridiculous documentary that doesn't get talked about enough. Mount Fleshmore of animals, right? Okay. First animals. Okay.

We'll know it's Mount Fleshmore of animals. Yeah. Which is the worst. Yeah. Yeah. We've been doing that where people have been saying you're just, you're just doing Mount Rushmores. But when you say it, like when we did the Mount Fleshmore of worst candies,

we should have done the best candies. Yeah. Some people got really bad. So, so yeah, it's, I'm in, my brain gets just twisted around. So there's just the Mount Fleshmore of animals. All right. I got first pick. I'm going to win this draft with first pick because it's the,

it's the number one most wanted animal in the world right now has ruined the entire world. It's bats. Bats fucking suck. Fuck bats. Fuck bats. Bats are an integral part of the ecosystem. Bats.

Okay. Shut up. Don't do that. Bats took away March Madness. Don't do ecosystems. It's a pangolin. Let's all agree none of that ecosystem bullshit. Bats.

Fuck you bats. That's where all these diseases come from. Fuck you bats. I will never forget that we didn't get March Madness in 2020. Bats get rid of a lot of our, our big nuisance insects. Okay. Bats suck. Okay.

My first pick is going to be mosquitoes. Mosquitoes are awful. They provide no benefit whatsoever. Give people malaria. They're like the number one ecosystem animal. No, they aren't. They only, you know what they, you know what mosquitoes exist to do? Feed bats.

That's it. So you should actually be moving for mosquitoes to go because if my, if my mosquitoes go away, then that solves your bat problem too. You guys ever watch mosquitoes like when you ever let it land on you and watch it suck up your blood? Yes. No.

Yeah. And then you smash the fuck out of it. Yeah. Wait till it's juicy. I'm not saying I did that because I'd be psychotic, but yeah. Yeah. That's kind of weird.

I will go with the bats of the, of the ground. I like to call them, aka rats. Many people. And then I'll go, I'll go with, I was, I, I just like snakes in general, but specifically just a cobra. Like I had a big snake phobia as a child. I think like Harry Potter too, the bad guy was a big ass snake. And like for every, every, every night for like two years,

I was scared that a giant snake was going to attack me in my sleep. I was constantly scared of snakes and I just hate snakes. Yeah. But specifically, or what's the anaconda, anaconda, the movie, the movie with J.Lo and Ice Cube? Snakes are scary. Yeah. They are.

I think with snakes, the only benefit they provide is they give you a nice little red flag. If somebody owns them, you know, to steer clear of that person. This might sound crazy, but every time I see a boa constrictor, like fuck something up, it's always like a baby lamb or something. Yeah, a mouse and just a giant. I think I could take a boa constrictor. I don't think a boa constrictor could take down like a fucking well fed man. It depends if it gets it.

If it gets it's fucking. Uh, I'd fuck yeah. I just punch it in his brain over and over. I would fuck a boa constrictor up. You could take down a boa constrictor or a python and anaconda might get you. Well, anything that bites would kill me. I'm talking about the ones that just constrict like, if I just get in a wrestling match, I just, this is just solely.

You got gas and 10, but it's watching the tape. I've seen the fucking tape. They always go after the fucking smallest animals. They take down kids. They take, take down fucking baby lambs and little tiny horses. I've never seen an anaconda go after a fucking 230, 40, maybe 50 pound man who can down five hot dogs in a night. Show me that.

What kind of shitty horse gets taken down by an anaconda? Little baby, the world's dumbest horse. It's a little baby ones. Any, any baby animal that like can barely walk anacondas just go to town on them. They always do like bullies. They're bullies or boa constrictors. They're bullies. The strangled ones are big time bullies.

I do like a nice like puff adder or a cobra. Those are kind of cool and badass. Can a boa constrictor kill a grown ass man that eats hot dogs? My second pick is going to be ticks. Again, ticks, no benefit whatsoever. The parasites, they get, they, they get like hidden on your dog. So you have to go looking for them. You have to like check yourself after you go for a hike to give you Lyme disease.

Just bad animal all around ticks. Get out of here. All right, ticks. All right, I'll go with pigeons. Pigeons fucking suck and leeches. Leeches suck. No, I'm going. I'm coming back around, Hank.

You OK? What do you mean you're coming back around? I start those fights. It's a snake draft. Hanks doesn't like any sort of snake. I got to stop looking at leeches. Leeches are fucking crazy, man. The fact that you could like jump in a lake and a leech could just hop on you

and just start sucking your blood. They're like grown up mosquitoes. Maybe those could be the cure for corona though. Wasn't that a thing back in the day? Like the drain your blood with leeches. They still do some places. Yeah, I don't think that really works, but yeah, they do. You are right that they do.

That's saying it works. I'm saying that many cultures believe that it can work. Did you guys ever go swimming like as kids in lakes where your new leeches were but still went anyway? And then like that was the worst. It's like, come on. It's scary. Go swim fast.

I'll swim the leeches. Yeah. You ever seen a standby me? Yeah. When he gets a big leash on a dog? OK, so those are my two. 50 year pick. My next one is going to be a very specific animal.

Hitler's dog Blondie. Oh, come on. What? This is a dog. He didn't know. Yeah, but still. What do you mean he didn't know? He's a dog.

Every dog's a good dog. There's no good. There's no bad dogs. Only bad owners. I'm going to go. I'm going to go on a limb and say that Hitler's dog Blondie is bad because dogs, they take on the personalities of their owners. You know that.

Do you abort baby Hitler's dog? Uh, not if baby Hitler was going to be aborted, then no. If baby Hitler was still intact and I knew that one day it would grow up to raise that dog. Yes. I think if you pick Hitler's dog, you have to pick all dogs. No, absolutely not. We're picking all animals. We're picking every single type of these animals.

Mine was a game changer. So PFT took dogs. No, I did not. Hitler's dog Blondie. He took care of free gum. He took me to dogs. No, you can't put me in that box. Yeah, you took dogs.

Yeah, you took dogs. Make sure that we put it all dogs. Nazi dogs. No, it's dogs. I've seen Wolfenstein's. You don't like dogs. That's just patently false. That's what you just said.

You picked the animal dog. I'm only going to bring us up because we're talking about Nazis right now. But the fact that all these, all these movies about like the first people on the moon and like, you know, all that stuff, they just excluded the part that Nazis were like all of the people at NASA. Kind of messed up. Yeah. Wernher von Braun, Operation Paperclip. Crazy.

So if I were to say, I don't like Wernher von Braun, would you say, oh, you don't like all rocket scientists? No, but we're picking, we're picking groups of animals. And so like, I pick pigeons. I have, what else do I have? Bats. You just did a specific dog. You don't like dogs.

Yeah, he's, no, he's a bad dog. You don't like dogs. Dogs is your pick. Zero out of 10. Dogs is your pick. Hank, your last two. Hyenas. Like crackhead, crackhead cheetahs.

Way scarier. Yes. And then I will go with just, just flies, just all, all around flies. Like fruit flies and shit. Just like a, yeah, like fruit flies, flies in your house. Like anytime, yeah, anytime. There's no, there's no good time. You're like, oh, I'm, I'm, the flies are around.

This is lovely. No, I agree. That never happens. I agree. It's usually a corpse or some kind of poop. Yeah. Dead fruit. Like you left food out and you're like, fuck garbage.

Yeah. Yeah. You're never happy to see a fly. No. Yeah. No one has ever said, oh, good, a fly. Exactly. Pity your last pick.

My last one is going to be roaches. Kind of same situation as with flies. No one's ever happy to see a roach. If there's a roach around, you know that you got some underlying issues that you need to address. And the shittiest part about roaches is they're going to be around way longer than us. And no matter what, roaches will be here

after any sort of apocalypse. I don't think that there's a virus that takes roaches out. No, roaches, roach blood is the best blood. Just stays forever. What is a, I just looked up something. I don't want, I didn't want to look up. Um, yeah, I'll pick them actually. I'll just pick maggots for my last one.

Ugh. Ugh. I didn't even know what a maggot looked like. Ugh. Maggots. I thought of maggots because of the corpses. And like there's maggots and corpses. Like that's just gross.

I, the only other one I had that was jellyfish, but jellyfish are the problem with jellyfish is they suck, but they're also beautiful. Exactly. You know what I mean? It is somewhere where you're like, oh, this is lovely. Like I'm in a, I'm in a beautiful like Bahamut water. Like this is nice.

And you see them and you're like, wow, that's, that's really cool how they just kind of float and do their whole thing. They're beautiful. Uh, I had a single hornet on my list. I was the only one that didn't make it. It's PFT frozen. I think he's frozen.

Oh, so he definitely chose just dogs. Wait, he's unfrozen. Are you, are you back? Um, I'm big time back. I heard every word that you said. I'm not gonna, you know what I think this is. I think this is just a little bit of professional jealousy, knowing that I've dominated Mount Flushmore season so far.

And somebody correctly pointed out that, uh, I just picked what I would have picked from a Mount Rushmore season. Yeah, you're terrible at Mount Rushmore. We also talked you out of putting fucking carefree gum on. And you've changed malt balls to, or whoppers to malt balls. So there's been some selective. I just don't have the passion.

I said malt balls and then you asked me to change it to whoppers. Well, because that's what it is. It's a lot. No, there's a big difference. Yeah. And carefree gum should have been put on there because that was the worst pick of all time. Still going for.

That's what we're going for. Carefree gum candy. All right. Should we do King Kong? What about stingrays? Stingrays, I think stingrays are similar to jellyfish where they're, yeah, you can pet them. I have the record at the Shed Aquarium,

but I think they're bad, but beautiful. Like when they're, when they're all fucking going in their little pack, like there's something cool about that. Right? Do they, do they travel in packs? Yeah, I think so. I think they all just fucking cruised. Maybe those are the smaller stingrays.

I don't know. It'd be sick if they were in like a flock, a flock of stingrays. Quick coronavirus negativity thread. I've been watching the, the like planet earth and every single episode. It's like, it's like, oh, look at this cool ass animal. And then David Attenborough comes to us like,

but in the past 15 years, humans have destroyed this animal's living and they're all going to die in the next 10 years. Like every single time. Did you guys see on Twitter, there was some, some tweet that went like not super viral, but semi viral that was like, basically, do you guys hear the birds out there? Like as soon as the humans stop, you know,

invading in their area, the birds come back. It's like, yeah, it's also fucking spring, you idiot. People are going to overthink this and be like, look at how good it is for the environment that we're all stuck in our homes. There's no more pollution outside. That's, that take is actually coming. I can, I can feel it in the wind.

Like we're going to get to a point where it's like, actually this virus is a good thing for humanity. Yeah. Cause you can finally feel the wind again. Right. The wind is back. We haven't, I haven't felt the wind in years. All right. Should we talk about King and Kong, this full quarters, one of the greatest documentaries ever created.

Hang on. Let me, let me refresh my sunlight real quick. His sunlight has been a real godsend. I've got, what do you mean? What does that mean? It's got timer on it. It's got to go back up in the sky. There's such thing as too much sun. You were literally pulling the sun back up in the sky.

Yeah. I just hit the, uh, the 30 minute timer on the sunlight. But I feel better. I've got the vitamin D going. It's, it's really refreshing actually having just a little star inside my apartment. Okay. King and Kong. Fist full quarters. Where do we want to start? I mean, we should probably start with Billy Mitchell. Actually, no, let's start with Steve Webe.

One of the most sympathetic figures I've ever watched. So when we were talking about this on Monday, I did watch this when it first came out in 2007, but I forgot a lot about it. I forgot just how sympathetic and like simultaneously that you're rooting for Steve Webe, but you're also like, this guy's kind of pathetic with that one quote where his friend was like, I've never seen anyone cry more than Steve Webe. He has cried out of frustration and he just feels so bad for him because

the whole story about how he was a pitcher and his dad blew out his arm. And like he was good at this and that, and he had a band that he didn't want anyone to listen to. And you're like, come on, man, like just find something. He was Nirvana before Nirvana, but he just chose not to be. That was a hell of a spin zone by his grandmother or whatever being like, he was like Nirvana, but even more artistic than Kurt Cobain. In fact, he was so, so artistic that he didn't want anyone to ever hear his songs.

Yeah. So like, He's Will Ferrell from Step Brothers. Overall with Steve, they keep framing him as a loser, but he also seems like a pretty normal guy. And the biggest knock against him is just like, oh, Steve's never conquered the world. And that weighs really heavily on him. And he's like such a soft-spoken guy, all his buddies are like, yeah, you know, Steve, he's kind of a,

he's had a rough go of it in his life. He's never gotten the Donkey Kong world record. And there are a bunch of clips of him like crying and stuff, but like overall Steve seems like a pretty average human being. Like he's got a good life by any stretch of the imagination, right? For sure. Absolutely. But I do think there was, there's something about him when they were talking about like his,

his dexterity and like his ability with his hands. And like, you know, he plays piano, plays the drums, was a great high school pitcher. I think that that's the, it's like the age-old question. Would you, would you rather be completely average, normal, or be like exceptional for a little brief period of time, but not like fully accomplish those goals? That's what he's chasing.

Like he has had moments where it feels like he's brushed up against being exceptional and to have that haunt you must fucking suck. And then you just end up playing Donkey Kong in your garage for hours upon hours to the point where shout out Steve's wife, by the way, she was actually the real hero of this documentary who was like, yeah, I kind of wish he wouldn't play Donkey Kong every night and maybe be like around and present. But I also kind of wanted to chase his dream.

She was a nice lady, but she also looked like the most stereotypical, like Karen, like if you could describe just Karen, the mom, like that was Steve Webe's wife. Oh, she's definitely left like a few messages on Twin Galaxy's voicemail being like, or she's yelped Twin Galaxies before, for sure. I thought that being really, really good on a little kid's drum set was such a good metaphor for being exceptionally talented at Donkey Kong. Mm hmm. Yes. Right.

He is just so, so good at something that really doesn't mean anything. So what you're saying is it goes back to the age old question of, I mean, you find it in sports a lot. Would you rather be Chase Daniel or Dan Marino? Right, right. And I think Dan Marino would haunt you. Like that would haunt you like it haunts Dan Marino, whereas Chase Daniel has, is probably very at peace with like,

you know what, this was my ability. I maxed it out and I really couldn't get more out of it where, you know, Dan Marino, maybe not as the perfect analogy, but Steve Webe, it felt like he was always thinking, I didn't, oh, I never fully maxed out my ability in life. Right. One thing that I got a good credit to the filmmakers for, because I didn't realize this, I remember watching it back in the day too,

and I didn't like watch it again until the other day, but they also like did an amazing job is making him the sympathetic figure, like Billy the bad guy, Billy is the guy that's on top. And then at the very end, they're just like, but Steve Webe ended up winning and now he holds both records. But they didn't, they didn't make it look that way in the documentary. They made it look like Steve Webe is this sad guy, but like at the very end, it's like Steve Webe got exactly what he wanted.

Well, but he didn't though. He didn't because it didn't show it. No, but that's the part, that's the part that like killed me with the documentary. And we'll get into Billy Mitchell and his simp army, but he never had the moment in front of his like the crowd. He never had that moment where everyone was like, dude, you're the best. It was that fucking loser ref guy. What was his name?

We were Todd or something or what was his name? I can't remember his name, but he was the guy who was literally wearing like every scene they'd show him and he was sitting in his house, just wearing a ref uniform. I think it was Walt. Walt. Oh yeah, Walter. Walter day, Walter guy.

Yeah, Walter day. And like Walter day was mean to Steve Webe and everyone was rooting against Steve Webe. And then Steve Webe drive the flies all the way back home to Seattle and he calls him up. He's like, Hey man, sorry, I shouldn't have treated you like that. Like that's not winning. That's fucking bullshit. No, no, he got, he had a letter from Flynn Galaxy and says, so they wrote me a letter saying that they're sorry that they treated me like such shit.

He's like, I finally won. But like that was his big crowning achievement. But it's, I mean, to be fair, he had about eight hours at that first thing that he went to where he set the world record in Donkey Kong until Billy Mitchell's video of him beating that record in Donkey Kong stood up. So he had like a brief moment. But I mean, then again, his moment wasn't congratulations. You're the best in the world at this.

It's congratulations. You're not a fraud. Like everyone thought that. Right, right. So, all right. So Billy Mitchell, that moment was, I mean, that was that moment is one of the greatest moments in documentary history. So Billy Mitchell, let's start with, let's go back to him for like his backstory.

He is the, the, the start of it, how he was basically like the first rock star video game guy. They do the life magazine, Steve Sanders, who lied about the Donkey Kong. And then the unbelievable quote when Billy Mitchell was like, Steve Sanders is the person he is today because he came under the wrath of Billy Mitchell. And then they show this fucking guy, Steve Sanders, who's like brainwashed. He's like, Billy's a rock star. Like, I fucking love Billy.

It seemed like he was like a successful lawyer that like in the beginning when they showed me like, Oh, this guy like got away from the video games. Like, and now he lives a normal life. And then he's just like still behold into Billy and like, he's meeting him in the behind the restaurant being like, Oh, Billy's not coming. And then Billy pulls up. It's like, he's literally by Billy. So what, what do you think it is about Billy Mitchell that has him like have this loyal

bootlicking simp army that he has created in the video game world? Is it strong? Well, is it his ties? Is it his hair? Is it his hot sauce entire like empire? Or, and this one, I actually kind of think his wife has big tits. And I think that that is the greatest equalizer in like nerd world where they're like, Whoa, Billy, look at the fucking the tits on your wife.

And then he just becomes the king of the nerds. It's a combination of having a hot wife with just a phenomenal rack. The hair, which I mean, Billy Mitchell has the hair of an early 90s country music star and the personality of a Saudi prince. It's tough to out alpha that because he just has such confidence in everything he does. It doesn't matter what he's saying. And what you'll find just most human beings, they want to be domed. They want to get turned into a sub there.

Everyone's walking around looking for a strong man to like pull him by the nose and show him, Okay, this is what you do. And Billy found, I mean, to his credit, he found a pretty easy demo to just totally dominate, which is to be king of the nerds. But all you have to do is if you say anything with enough confidence and you've trained yourself in like body language and you've got a smoking hot wife that follows you everywhere, you can get nerds to do whatever you say. And a hot sauce empire.

And it's the it's so fascinating. Watch this documentary and seeing these guys follow Billy around and take everything he says at the gospel. And then the one guy that he's had problems with in the past was Mr. Awesome, the guy who actually got hot chicks as well. And Mr. Awesome, one of my favorite quotes, the most one of the most underrated quotes was Steve Webe, who is a passive guy, you know, gets this first moment where he like, he hits this block where he submits his score.

He's got the high record. And then all the fucking Billy Mitchell's weird loser, uh, minions come running and like delegitimize it. And Mr. Awesome's like, I told Steve Webe, he's got to fight this. And I, I de-chumpatized him. And I was like, fuck yes, let's go with Mr. Awesome. Mr. Awesome, who I don't even know what he does. Like he was, you know what Mr. Awesome was?

He was like a failed like wrestler who just never had never got like to the WWF and but had the whole stick and everything behind it. And then when he got later on in life, like he had male pattern baldness and he was like, yeah, I was at one point, Mr. Awesome. Well, so the thing about Mr. Awesome is he was, he was a lot like Billy, except he was, he was Billy, if he was a professional wrestler, he had the same mentality as Billy. He had the same goals as Billy.

They just butted heads because they were too similar. Mr. Awesome was the only person that didn't buy into Billy's shit. And you're right. His quote was everything would have fell right into place, but he forgot about one thing. He forgot about me convincing Steve Webe not to be a chump, talking him out of chumpetizing himself. He's chumpetizing himself.

And he, and yeah, it's Mr. if Mr. Awesome was good at Donkey Kong, he would have taken down Billy Mitchell and history would have been different. But Billy Mitchell, like I think there was something we said that Billy Mitchell got the record so early and basically it was so high and not only was it so high, but he also like talk about corruption, the fucking like governing body of video games. Billy Mitchell has his hands all over it. He's like one of the refs.

He's looking at the videos with all these guys. So it brings us to that moment. And the worst slash best character in this entire documentary, I think we can all agree is Brian Koo. Brian Koo, like scurrying around the video game place, calling himself a prodigy, calling Billy with updates. And like, then the, when you go to the best was where he's like, Hey, we're about to have a kill screen at Donkey Kong.

About to have a kid like going around and tapping everyone. I was really like Donkey Kong kill screen if you want to check it out. That no one give no one give a fuck. Like, dude, get the fuck away from me. Weirdo. He's the worst. Brian Koo is the worst. I hate him.

Yeah. No, when he was talking about the difference between Steve Wiebe and Billy Mitchell at this when they first got the fun spot. And he had to like throw himself in there. He's like, you know, Billy is the guy that's been around for a while. Steve is like his fierce rival. And I guess a lot of people are calling me, you know, the prodigy, like the, first of all, he was, I'm guessing 28, 29 years old.

You, you stop being a prodigy after the age of 12, like, you're no longer a boy, you're no wonder, you're no longer a man child or a wonder kind after you reach the age of 11. Right. So he's like, I guess I'm kind of the next one up. People are saying that about me. And he's just, he's a good combination of being just a big time nerd and a spy. So he's always, he's like, Billy's eyes and ears when Billy can't be somewhere. And I hate the word bootlicker because we've been called bootlickers,

but he truly is a bootlicker. Like he will walk around in the shadow of, of Billy Mitchell wherever he goes. He actually reminds me of Philip Seymour Hoffman's character in Boogie Nights, where he's just like falling around Dirk Diggler and being like, you're awesome, dude. Like you fuck so awesome. Can I watch you fuck your wife, Billy? Like this is fucking sick, dude. I can't imagine what it'd be like to have sex with a woman.

Very, very bell-checking of Billy Mitchell. Like the funniest part, the part with Brian that had me dying laughing was when Steve was asking me, he's like, can I, can I watch like the record film? He's like, no, one time only. Like that was a one time viewing. Oh my God. And like all the time, and Billy being so awkward where he wouldn't show up. Like Steve Webe goes to Billy's backyard 10 miles away and Billy won't come and play.

And like, we never saw Billy play video games. It was so bizarre to watch this guy because he was so scared of losing his status of the king of the nerds. You know who also liked the guy with the weightlifting glove that showed up? He became, I think he became Steve's only friend because he didn't really have any other friends in the community. But yeah, he rolls with his own glove like a mercenary brings their own rifle to war. He's like, this is great.

It's a weight lift. First of all, a weightlifting glove being used to play video games is hilarious to begin with. And then how he was like, I discovered that weightlifting gloves don't have fingers. I was like, dude, you know, you can just take any glove and cut the fingers off yourself. He, him saying like, people don't know this is a weightlifting glove. It's like, yeah, we all do know it is you guys got to watch. I don't know if you watch any of the deleted scenes, but there's a deleted scene with him where he's like explaining one of the games that he loves playing.

And he, this is a quote. So there's a quote. This isn't me saying it, but he was like, actually, I'm, let me find it and play it because it's so fucking funny. I think it will come through in the recording, but he is, he's, you're right. PFT. He was like the only one who had Steve Webe's back because he was just in his own world of like not even falling into the Billy Mitchell army that God, how much like free hot sauce

do you think he had to give all these guys to like fall in line at all times? I'll be honest with you. I think I just bought them dances. I could be brainwashed into joining Billy Mitchell's simp army. He does have alpha. Yeah. He is alpha qualities about him. The only one he had when he, when, when they all had the like the trailer party for the

viewing, like he probably bought the pizza for everyone. I was, I was telling, telling myself like maybe I could invite only to join the Billy Mitchell simp army until I saw his car. That to me like brought his alpha status way, way down. He's driving like a white two door geo tracker or something like that. A guy like Billy Mitchell absolutely has to minimum a convert, minimum a Camaro convertible. Okay. Like I need you to be driving in some sort of red sports car.

I don't need you to be pulling up in like a 1991 Chevy Cavalier. White, like as they roll it off the, off the lot, doesn't even have a paint job on it. Oh my God. It should be noted though, someone, someone dammy and, and I don't know if we want to talk about the email cause that was also hilarious, but Billy got like sued and stripped of all this titles in 2016. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Which is good that, but again, it's classic Steve Webe. He has his documentary made about him and you have to go find out after that Billy Mitchell got everything stripped of this. One other thing I noticed about this documentary is it was very, very short. So maybe it's just me being desensitized to watching like Game of Thrones and all this other stuff like, uh, you know, I've been watching Tiger King stuff that you can binge. It was about 75 minutes.

And when it was over, I was like, wait, this is weird. Wait. You mean you're not going to tell me there's three episodes about Steve's high school baseball team to get like a full backstory on them. But then I was like, yeah, this is how movies typically are. Yes. Yes. Absolutely.

He it's, it's so true because if it was made today, it would be like six hours longer. I would watch six hours more. Yeah, I would. Can you guys hear this right now? Well, my title, of course, is Crystal Castles. I ain't not going to die here. I need the hat. Uh, Crystal Castles is where you control a bear as dumb as that sounds.

Normally I'd describe a game like that as gay, but it is a kick-ass game. I think it's one of the few games that has an ending, especially that early. It's like, I want an ending. No, we want the game to go on and on so players can play and new quarters won't come in the machine idiots. It's the suits and their low brain power. I'm a late bloomer. I think we talked about this before, but the neat thing is today's my birthday.

I'll eat into that and in 83. I was 20 today. I turned 43. Oh yeah. I noticed that earlier and I've noticed that I didn't mention it to you guys. This is actually technically a weightlifting glove because I discovered in the 80s that you could buy a weightlifting glove, which was fingerless. And I use it to used it to play marble madness.

See the double padding? The guys that played marble, they used to call it a marble hand. You would get calluses. You would get pinches that would get bruising from the pinches that would get it. And so I said, you know, this is nuts. I'm going to get a glove and protect my hand when I play marble. So occasionally I play marble. Occasionally I use this to avoid calluses from certain joystick games.

So that's the purpose of the glove. The top is, uh, you know, breathable so you don't your hand and get hot here. You can do marble madness, track ball all day long. Ain't going to do jack other than make the glove black. So that's the purpose of the glove. And I'm not sure very many people who wear it back in the 80s, they sold gloves like this probably for like 20 bucks or some ripoff. So the weightlifting guy had a clip on these deleted scenes.

Go watch all the deleted scenes where he's talking about one of the games he's awesome at. And it's called crystal castles. And he also, he also thought he came up with like this innovative, uh, way of, of making all the games sound shorter. So he'd call like, he's like paper boy, I call that paper crystal castles. I call that crystals. So he's like crystal castles, you know, the main characters of bear, which as dumb as that sounds, I'd usually call a game like that gay.

And he just goes off on the crystal castles game. And it's like, I want to documentary about this guy because he's playing a fucking video game with his foot. He's wearing weightlifting gloves and he becomes friends with Steve Weebie. It's like that guy needs a full documentary about him. Yeah, he's all over the place. We need to talk also about after Steve Weebie gets the Donkey Kong record, Billy Mitchell has his thugs show up at his house and like knock on his door and his wife's

there and his wife's like, I'm sorry, who are you? They're like, we're from twin galaxies. We're here to verify the Donkey Kong record. She she's like, I got to go to work. Can you come back? No, ma'am, no, we need to be left inside right now. Oh my God. And Billy Mitchell, he compared himself to the red baron.

And he compared himself to the issue of abortion. Yeah, he goes, I'm like the abortion issue. Everyone has a strong opinion on me. And then he goes, I'm not God. I don't have all the answers. And you can tell that he's just thinking like, I don't have all the answers yet. But I kind of am God. He is God also the other the other thing with Billy Mitchell that I noticed is he's a big time

like tell like he kept saying this like the thing over and over again. Like that tapes more important than you. Like you said to the grandma and they said to Brian Kew. Yeah. And he's a big time. Yeah. He rehearses his lines. Yeah, he just says him over and over again.

He workshops every statement until it becomes a fine pointed sword. Yeah. Billy is he is a big time big time like who's there? Tell me who's there? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Who's there and who they bring? What are they wearing?

Like, oh, shit. Steve Webe just showed up uninvited. Steve Sanders, that little fucking snitch. God damn it. He was Steve's at my restaurant. I'll be right there. And then he pulls up in his fucking 91 Toyota Corolla with a tape deck that doesn't even work. But at the end of the day, Billy Mitchell, we're trashing him.

But man, the guy has charisma and he and you know what he did? He also made it about country over everything because he wears that American flag and the Statue of Liberty tie. And he had that things like, you know what my initials are? USA. There was one point that he was I think his spin zone to himself was saying that it's it's anyone can get the Donkey Kong world record, but it's a lot harder to continuously be at the top of the leaderboard.

So it's a lot harder to get like on top and then stay on top than it is to just get one. He was like minimizing Steve beating him. Yeah. And then somebody asked him a question about like, would you consider yourself the best video game player in the world? And then he did this thing where he paused for a second and goes, gee, now that I think about it, I guess I would say that. But he clearly wasn't thinking about it.

It was just him being like, yeah, yeah, I am. Yeah. And then they put and then they pulled back the camera. It was actually Brian Koo asking him that because that's what he asked him every fucking day. Like, hey, Billy, do you think you're the best? Everyone should be so lucky to have a Brian Koo in their life. Seriously, give me a Brian Koo. Let's track down Brian Koo.

And we forgot to say foul ball guy making, making a couple cameos there with the shaved head was awesome. Yeah, it seemed like he like that was just his hangout. Like, yeah, they just, they just like, that wasn't, they didn't get him for the documentary. Like he was just there. Oh yeah. No, I mean that, that one place in New Hampshire with all the video games looked awesome. Like, yeah, the other, the other notable guy was the chief referee.

Like I was just wondering how many records got either missed or like things that got overlooked. Cause like, there's just one referee just watching tape. Like that's the only, that's it in the doom three shirt. Yeah. Yeah. Best that guy, that guy has quarantine hair before quarantine hair became cool. He had like all those FedEx packages of nothing but VHS tapes. He was like, yeah, this is about like 80 hours a week worth of work that I put in here.

Yeah. And then there was that other guy, I might have even been Brian Koo who was like, yeah, I just retired at the age of 30 and I moved close to fun spots so I could play these games all the time. No one talked about the quarter situation though. Like no one brought up how much money they were spending on these guys. I assume that they're not free, right? Yeah, I would assume they aren't.

So they're just, well, I guess if you own the machine, but yeah, yeah, you're right. The, the kill screen, I mean, I never knew that existed. That was fucking cool when they're just like, yeah, the game just ends. Got a kill screen, got a kill screen coming up. That's the ultimate domination of a robot. You just make it kill itself. I feel like you, you've beaten me human. Oh man.

Billy's footage was the most doctored footage of all time too. All time, but remember this was, I think this was taped in 2001. So it's like, this is before real photo shops and all this stuff. So like this is the last time that someone could actually pull this kind of shit off. Yeah. I mean, I thought the, I thought the documentary makers had a very funny job where it was like, these are the standards. And then it just shows them like being like, all right, yeah, sounds like a good score.

Yeah. Yeah, Billy. Oh, you go put in the internet right now. Like, yeah, Billy, you happen to send a tape in 10 minutes after Steve Webe broke your record. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, that works. We never found out what happened with the Cuberts score. He sent that lady to beat the world record in Cuber and he gave her the tape.

Did she, did she end up doing that? I would just root for her. She was in the, she was in the post credits, like the, oh no, she actually passed away. That was like a loving memory of her. Come on, that makes sense. No, but first it was like, first, like whatever her name was. Did she kill her?

Billy killed her because she like still traveling the world, like trying to break the record. And then at the very end, it was like in loving memory. Dude, Billy, I mean, that is, that's the core of Billy right there. He will send an old, like unsuspecting lady to New Hampshire, put her on a plane, be like, go break that Cubert record, but really don't fucking lose this package. And he'll use her to get his way to be on top of the Donkey Kong leaderboard. He bought her a Cubert machine knowing that the only reason was that one day he could,

he could send her up to New Hampshire in the wintertime. Be like, hey, the cold air will be good for your lungs. Sends her up there just to play a doctored video. Oh my God. And the only reason he wanted that was so that he could be sitting at home listening to his buddy, Brian Koo, tell him how the room was reacting. Billy, every eye is watching this tape right now. There are about 20 people here.

Everyone is just glued to this screen watching you, Billy. That one's going to miss this. Yeah. More, more of a scene than Helena, Helena Troy is what he said. One of a kind. One of a kind. All right. That's our show. Unbelievable documentary. I mean, if we, should we end it?

Should we end it with Sean Jones? Yeah, let's end it with Sean Jones. We're trying to get Billy on the show. What happened with that, Hank? I emailed to, I had previously emailed with Billy and this other guy, Sean Jones, who was like told was, was like one of his guys for advisors and he ghosted me. And so I hit him back up and they're like, Oh, we're interested, blah, blah, blah. I'll let you know.

They ghosted me again. And then I followed up today, like, please, just kind of get an answer. And they were just like, Oh, you know, he's got some lawsuits going on, but he'll be happy to come on whenever he has something going on. And the email is from Sean Jones, just a guy named Sean Jones. And PFT pointed out, he's like, Sean Jones is definitely Billy, right? Talking the third person. That's absolutely.

It's an assistant that Billy made up, like Trump made up John Barron back in the 80s to like talk to reporters and shit. Sean Jones, the fact that he emailed you immediately was like, Billy's got some lawsuits going on. He wants to talk to you and he will talk to you, but just give him a second to resolve all this, like very, very clearly. It's another sip. It's probably, it's probably Brian Koo.

Okay. So it's not Billy. It might not be Billy. It might be Brian, but Brian has like too much of a workload from handling all of Billy's day to day. So he created another persona to handle more of Billy's work. Yes. Yeah. He might, Billy might not even know about Sean Jones.

It might just be Brian Koo, just trying to shield him, Billy from the world. Well, I tweeted, I tweeted out. He made up a simp for himself to, to simp by proxy for Billy Mitchell. It was, I will say that I tweeted out. I was like, Billy Mitchell is ghosting me right now. And, and within like 25 seconds, I got an email back. It was, it was shocking response time. Wait, did you, did you tag Billy Mitchell?

Yes. Okay. But he was just saw it and then Sean Jones happened to email you? Correct. Interesting. After not like, after like three emails from the past like two days of being like trying to get an answer. Is Billy verified on Twitter? No, Billy Pacman.

All right. Well, hopefully you get Billy on. There are all these small clues that tell me that Billy's not quite as big of an alpha as I think that, that he was at first. We'd love to have him on. So Billy, please, we'd love to have you on talk, talk to you about all of this. And all right. That's our show. We'll see you.

Also, with all this video game talk, go subscribe to our Twitch channel. Go subscribe to our Twitch. These guys walked so that we can run on Twitter. True. Good point. And then everyone throughout documentary or things we could watch for next Friday. We'll just keep doing this. I think we should just keep picking something every week that we can review.

And we'll just do it on Fridays because we've got nothing else to fucking do. Mm hmm. Maybe Game of Thrones. Maybe we all get into Game of Thrones. I would see everyone one day. Love you guys. God, I really. Fuck Joffrey.

I hate Joffrey. I would. I would love for them to make like another one of these. Hey, come on. Me. Take me on. I'll be gone. You're not your own team.

Me. Let me see you. I'm all set. It's perfect. Stone. Low. Oh. Oh.

Oh. I was okay. Stay up to me. Let's go. Better to be safe and sound. Hey, come on. Me. Take me on.

I'll be gone. You're not your own team. Some things that you say are easy to like home. Just think about the replay. You are things I've got to remember. You shine always. I'll be coming for you anyway. Take on me.

Take me on. I'll be gone. You're not your own team. It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports. I'm not your own team. I'm not your own team. I'm not your own team. I'm not your own team.

I'm not your own team. I'm not your own team. I'm not your own team. I'm not your own team. I'm not your own team. I'm not your own team. I'm not your own team. I'm not your own team.

I'm not your own team.