Pardon My Take - Jon Taffer + Week 11 Recap

Episode Date: November 19, 2018

NFL Week 11 Recap and fastest 2 minutes (2:27 - 8:05). The Saints are a juggernaut, the Texans have won 7 straight, Alex Smith's leg is broken, the Eagles get the Done Chain and the Bears remind every...one why Kirk Cousins is Kirk Cousins (8:05 - 34:41). Who's back of the week including SNL and Thanksgiving (34:31 - 43:01). Jon Taffer joins the show to talk about his private jet, not to brag, all the laws that were made to stop him from making money, and some new great ideas for Bar gimmicks (43:01 - 81:43). Segments include Football guy of the week, thoughts and prayers Urban Meyer, Not to brag but we called it Les Miles to Kansas, Stay Woke, and Monday Reading. You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's Pardon My Take, we have Week 11 Recap, fastest two minutes football guy of the week. All the stories you need from the NFL, Crazy Sunday, plus one of our favorite recurring guests, John Taffer joins the show. He also has recently purchased a private jet, not to brag, but we're going to get on it.
Starting point is 00:00:34 Really fun interview with him, and much, much more before we get to all of that. You already know, the Cash App is the number one app in finance, but did you realize you can get the most powerful debit card in the world with Cash App's Cash Card? The Cash Card comes with Boosts, a feature you can't get anywhere else because Cash App invented it. Just select a boost in your Cash App, swipe the Cash Card, and save 10% or more at Whole Foods, Shake Shack, Chipotle, Taco Bell, Chick-fil-A, and all the coffee shops around the country. The coffee shop boost takes a dollar off at any coffee shop, including Dunkin' and Starbucks.
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Starting point is 00:01:55 Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric revenue, and then we're taking higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric revenue, and then we're taking higher. It's part of my tape, presented by Rob Stool Sports. Welcome to part of my tape, presented by SeekGeek. Today is Monday, November 19th, week 11. We start in the big glory hole in Atlanta, as Jerry Jones and Arthur Blank square off for Guy Most Likely to masturbate in your shoes. Tevin Skollman made a couple of long cuts, but Grizzlykliel Elliott dipped out harder
Starting point is 00:02:53 and left the Falcons with a fat lip. Coolio Jones walked through the Valley of Leighton, Vanderesche, took a look at this D and realized there was nothing left. The Cowboys are going Dak, Dak, to Dallas Dallas, big time winners as they take down the Falcons, 2219. Dick. Hugh Day, Hugh Day, Hugh Day, say they're gonna beat them Bengals. Lamar Jack Sonny Digital put his staff on Cincinnati as the aloe blackbirds.
Starting point is 00:03:23 Rookie QB was the man, was the man, making tracks to the Bengals secondary, and all beats by Drake, Patrick could do is unplug, while Willie said, I sneed you now tonight, I sneed you more than ever, and made mince meatloaf out of the secondary. John Hardy Har Harbaugh has a last laugh. Ravens 24, Bumble's 21, some spread. In Detroit Rock City, the Schwam would like to be the first to wish you all a happy holiday. Kenny that is, Riverboat Ron only fed Christian to the Lions 13 times, but the book of Luke Keekley couldn't stop the Gospel of Matthew Stafford.
Starting point is 00:04:04 The game came down to a two point conversion, where Lamb Newton could have been the goat, but instead made a bad throw, and as LeBron always says, a lion doesn't concern himself with the opinion of sheep. Lions 20, Panthers 19, I gotta say teach, I think our lion is sick. I think our sheep, I think our sheep is sick. Can't pull the wool over your ass, boo. Bad! We go down to the big easy, as the Saints of the Crescent City show the full moon, and
Starting point is 00:04:38 put their ass directly on the Eagles' peaks for four quarters of hell, laid by head coach Sean Satan. Trenquan Smith and Wesson played a very high caliber game, as the Eagles secondary had their wings clipped, and started a bunch of guys Mark Wahlberg would have torched in trouts and invincible. Good news for Eagles fans, Creed is out. Bad news, you've created your own prison, and Scott, stop me if you've heard this before, but true praise put up 40 points again, as the greatest show on Smurf leaves their opponents
Starting point is 00:05:06 feeling a little blow. Saints go marching, 48-7. In Duval, where the Jaguars and Steelers met for the third time in 12 months, Jalen Mason Ramsey built that wall, Mark, in the secondary, stealing footballs like they were your girlfriend. But the Jaguars' defense played like yodel-a-doo-doo, in the fourth quarter, letting Big Ben come back from the dead for the second time in three weeks, TJ Wesson-Bott trolled our president Blake Portals all afternoon, and the Steelers are red-hot, heading into the home stretch, Pittsburgh 20, Jaguar 16.
Starting point is 00:05:43 Back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, and round John Maryland, the FedEx steel turf monster claims another QB, as the Redskins seem to play their game on some sort of cursed burial ground. Colt McCoy didn't miss a beat, and said, OK, cool, hook him, as his dad says his shoulder is finally feeling well enough to throw a football. Big Cat's pinky is on the line, and JJ Watt smells red beat most. Deshaun, hot sun, heated up, and six-simper Tyranus Matthew took out Washington's leader during a play.
Starting point is 00:06:13 Is there a Doxon in the house? Josh Polk of Norman was knocking on all the wrong doors during this Sunday matinee, as Trey Quinn Parker can't write a good ending against the AFC South Park. Texas 23, R-Wage 21. We head to Indianapolis, where Marlon Brando Mack made the Titans, as Ty Quilton shook off blanket coverage to reveal a giant horse head in Mike Vrabel's bed. In an incredible use of magic, David Blaine Gabbard pulled a rabbit out of his head, shout out Jason Winton, and made the Colts defense reappear.
Starting point is 00:06:49 Andrew Luckleberry-Winn whitewashed the Titans defense, and the Colts, dare we say, teach our back. Indianapolis 38, Titans 10. To San Diego, where truly Bradley Deepley Chomp planted Phillip Rivers in a savage garden, as Vaughn Reggie Miller put two hands to his neck, and made sure the Chargers choked in the court. Anthony Lin Manuel Miranda got outcoached in a broad way, as the Broncos' play action wasn't the same old song-and-fans chosen.
Starting point is 00:07:20 Denver, Texas, San Diego, Super Chargers, 23-22. Okay, Week 11 is in the books, we've got a lot to talk about PFT, but before we talk about the actual games that were played on Sunday, we have to talk about the biggest story of the day. The Browns hijacked the NFL in their bye week with an Adam Schefter tidbit that they are considering hiring Condoleezza Rice as their next head coach. It was an Adam bomb, it's not a Woldz bomb, it comes from Adam, and I think it's time for a new segment that we need to start, it's who's fucking with Adam Schefter?
Starting point is 00:08:32 Because somebody's fucking with him hard. I have no idea what process went through his head when he was like, yeah, this seems legit, I'm gonna run with this. Okay, so my knee-jerk reaction when I saw this, I thought exactly what you thought. They're fucking with Adam Schefter, hilarious. Yes. Then I was like, you know what, John Dorsey seems like a smart guy, good football guy, he knows what he's doing.
Starting point is 00:08:56 This was an old trick of setting the negotiations, setting the goalposts at a certain point, so now you put this out there, you put Condoleezza Rice's name out there, Mike Francesa flips out, all these people go crazy on Twitter, and then you can basically hire the word, you can hire back Hugh Jackson, everybody be like, hey, it's not Condoleezza Rice. That's a good point. Yeah, so he anchored, and negotiations called anchoring, where you say the most crazy outlandish request, and then whatever your backup offer is seems reasonable, I agree with that. I also think that, actually, it speaks to Hugh Jackson that he was so incompetent at
Starting point is 00:09:33 his job that it's not outside of the realm of possibility entirely that you would be replaced by somebody with zero experience doing that job. Yes, it couldn't go worse than what Hugh Jackson did, it actually really could. It really couldn't. And it could, technically, by three games. It'd be tough. Three games, it could be worse in two and a half seasons. They should just take the best Madden player in the world, and just have them call the
Starting point is 00:09:57 place. Absolutely would do better than Hugh Jackson. Absolutely would do better than Hugh Jackson. Condoleezza Rice, though, I would be interested in seeing her as a head coach, I mean, it'd be good. Yes. Greg Williams' bounty program would explode under Condoleezza Rice. She'd have little playing cards, where it's like, okay, Ben Rothlisberger is the Jack
Starting point is 00:10:13 of Clubs. You know how we used to do in Iraq, we used to play Saddam Zayas, actually Johnny Manziel would be the King of Clubs. Yes, absolutely. Club Meister. Yes, absolutely. I mean, it was a wild way to start the day. And then the Browns refuted it so quickly.
Starting point is 00:10:30 Well, Condoleezza Rice also came out and was like, actually, I don't want this job because even she was like, I don't want the Browns job. And she took shots. I'm not even in the running, but I don't want the Browns job. What I liked about it was she took shots at Greg Williams when she said she didn't want the job. She was like, I would never call a prevent defense. Right, right.
Starting point is 00:10:48 So we call preemptive defense. No chance that Greg Williams, Greg Williams was furious when he saw this. So mad. Furious. Absolutely furious. Hank, you have a question. I just don't understand what Condoleezza Rice's relationship to football is in the first place.
Starting point is 00:11:03 Well, she has a relationship to football. She was on, she's a big fan, first of all, she's a Browns fan. And then she also was on the college football playoff. What's her real life job? Okay, so right now I think she's, she's a lot of stuff in emeritus, meaning that she gets paid to like show up places and give speeches. Essentially, if you're a politician, if you stop being a politician or stop being part of politics, you can essentially walk around and do a big time squad.
Starting point is 00:11:29 She was the national security advisor between 2000, I think 2004. So she's got a lot of experience monitoring phones and stuff. So she'd fit right in on the Patriots and the chiefs with Scott Peole, or where's Scott Peole now? He's in Atlanta. Yeah. So she probably, I don't know. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:46 She'd fit in well there. And then after 2004, she was secretary of state for a while. So yeah. So I mean, but honestly, like, yeah, I don't know that she's just a football fan. Well, no, she was in the college football playoff committee, which has made everyone upset about that, which was awesome because it was like, we are, everyone was already upset because how do you decide the playoffs? And then you just had Condoleezza Rice and was like, well, now this is really fucked
Starting point is 00:12:07 up. But essentially, once you become, once you retire from politics, you can, you can just either write a book or appear on a bunch of news channels and then do a bunch of speak, you know, like speaking engagements for a shitload of money. And to your point, big cat, I also think that like floating that name out there serves one other purpose. And it's like John Dorsey is not afraid to pull a fucking wild, everybody thinks John Dorsey is the crazy motherfucker in the room.
Starting point is 00:12:32 You know what, you know what it is? The no turn, no stone left unturned coaching search. That's the best coaching search there is. They might even get fucking freaky with it and hire Ernie O'Corsi to go hire like one of his best friends. Yeah. A coaching search firm. The way they just scour the ranks of the Bush administration.
Starting point is 00:12:51 Yeah, exactly. They got Rumsfeld in there. Oh, Carl Rove. Yeah. What's his name? It's going to be in the, in the news soon because that new Christian Bale movie. Oh, Cheney. Cheney's about to be back, about to, about to be back in the news cycle.
Starting point is 00:13:03 Maybe get him going. I also think that maybe Haslam is like just offering an olive branch. It's not out of the room a possibility for Haslam to be the one that put that news out there. Yes. Just to remind Dorsey like, Hey, just so you know, I'm liable to pull some weird shit too. So you don't, you get to thinking that you're making this entire thing on your own.
Starting point is 00:13:21 Yeah. Don't forget, I was the guy who kept Hugh Jackson employed for two and a half years. Well passed. He showed that he was not competent for the job. So if you look at the list of Browns coaches in the last 10 years, they mostly have 10 years of what? Like one year, like two years, two years, two years is, it's like, like, you know how like the different dogs have lifespans, like a big dog, you know, like a, same, same Bernese
Starting point is 00:13:44 or whatever. Just say, just say massive. Just say. No, I'm not going to say. Has like bulldogs have like your lifespan of seven years and then like a little Chihuahua has a lifespan of 50, a Browns head coach has a lifespan of about 18 months. Yeah. And I'm sure that, that kind of leaves a rice has dirt on just about every other head coach
Starting point is 00:14:00 or she can access dirt. Right. She's got security clearance. Yes. She can get some good blackmail material there. Right. So that was the story before the games even kicked off. But I think the, we can probably agree that Adam Schefter was just being fed a load of
Starting point is 00:14:13 dog shit and he ate it up and he crafted out onto our Twitter feeds this morning. And it begs the like immortal question, would you run with that fake news knowing that you get to basically be the guy? He was. Schefter was the guy for about an hour. He was. Yeah. Maybe it was bullshit.
Starting point is 00:14:29 Maybe it was fake, but he was the guy. Let's, let's settle this. You think that Condoleezza Rice would be a visor coach? Do you think that she'd be a baseball cap? What would she, what would her head gear be? I don't know. She might just go raw dog with it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:41 She, I'd say, I'd say visor. I think visor. Yeah. I'm picturing it right now. I'd say visor. I mean, she would look badass in the sidelines wearing like a pantsuit, heels, not taking shit from anybody. Yes.
Starting point is 00:14:52 So that was the crazy news to start the day. And then we had football. So I want to start, um, we had a bunch of different places we got to go PFT, but I want to start with the best team in football and that is the New Orleans Saints. They are incredible. Yes. Drew Brees is insane. So he is 21 touchdowns, one interception, 77% completion percentage and he's 77% completion
Starting point is 00:15:18 percentage. The punter for the Saints PFT, he has punted 21 times this year. I think he punted once over the last two weeks. He punted in the last, in the last, uh, six games, he's punted eight times. Morsted. That's insane. Morsted with his weird boxy shoulder pads. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:35 And you had a great Sean Payton being like, I'm mad at the Eagles because I lost to the Vikings last year. So I'm going to take it out on them and beat the fuck out of them and go for it on fourth down and keep throwing it when I'm up a million. And the Eagles, I mean, I don't want to jump ahead here, but they're, they're done. They're dead. They're doing Dunchain. Dunchain on the Eagles.
Starting point is 00:15:56 Can we strip them of the Super Bowl championship, defending Super Bowl championship title because they have not defended it well. Here's what we'll do. We'll melt down the Lombardi trophy and then reforge it as a Dunchain. Yes. That chain hangs heavier on the neck of the champion. It's the largest defeat by a Super Bowl champion ever. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:13 What I want to take out of this game is Sean Payton's on a fuck you tour. Oh yeah. He's pissed off at everybody. I don't know why he's like extremely pissed off this year, but he is. He's like playing. He's coaching on another level. He's coaching like he's just stepping on people's throats left and right. He's just, he's reached the point that I think we all aspire to in life, which is I want
Starting point is 00:16:34 to be a huge dickhead and get away with it because I'm that good. Right. And being like, Hey, guess what stopped me? He does the thing where he has Taysum Hill come in and actually throw passes now. Cause you're like, you know what? I'm kind of bored. Drew Brees is too good. I'm bored with 77% completion percentage, 21 touchdowns and one interception.
Starting point is 00:16:51 I'm going to throw this guy in here and see if he can do it too. Yeah. And like he probably can. I think there was a quote that Sean Payton was like, yeah, we got Steve Young in the, in the, uh, like waiting in the, you know, in the sideline here. Yeah. Steve Young, if he couldn't pass that well, his Taysum Hill. Right.
Starting point is 00:17:07 And then they got Bridgewater and they put Bridgewater and as the like victory cigar and they just don't let him pass. No. Right. So the saints are on an absolute tear. They've won, um, nine in a row. Yes. Do you think, are they nine in one?
Starting point is 00:17:19 Yeah. I think they're nine in one. And they've covered, I think eight straight. Now, do you think that, uh, Brandon Marshall is going to get to play in his first playoff game this year? Yeah. I mean, the black cloud is definitely, although he'll probably, the minute he starts playing they'll start losing.
Starting point is 00:17:32 Well, this is like expert level. Can I ruin this team for Brandon Marshall? Yeah. Like if he can destroy this team. Oh, he's up for the challenge. Yes. He is. If anybody can do it, it's Brandon.
Starting point is 00:17:43 All right. So that was, uh, that's, I mean, the saints are clearly in my mind, the best team in football right now. Would you, would you agree? Yeah. I agree a hundred percent. I also think that they're one of the most fun teams. Like they just seem to be having a really good time together.
Starting point is 00:17:57 Yep. And going to New Orleans is like the scariest thing in the world. All right. So the other story that I had circled was, uh, the NFC East is a complete dumpster fire now that Alex Smith, uh, broke his leg in like seven different ways. One said Joe Thysman. Now it was weird that it happened exactly 33 days, 33 years to the day, um, which I think was first reported by our stats and info.
Starting point is 00:18:22 It was. Everyone else ripped us off. They stole it. Yes. So shout out to our stats and info. Um, but there's a couple of things. The Joe Thysman thing I get, like obviously it's Redskins, he breaks like the good news is modern medicine is a little bit better than it was 33 years ago.
Starting point is 00:18:37 I don't think Alex Smith's career is going to be over, but this clearly throws a wrench into the entire NFC East. Now the Cowboys seem to be somewhat resurgent and they're playing the Redskins on Thanksgiving. Listen, I don't want to, I don't want to speak out of turn, but I don't want to call him a pussy. But when I broke my foot, I walked around on it for a week. He went directly to the hospital. Those are facts.
Starting point is 00:18:58 So I'm just saying these are facts. I'm not saying, I'm not saying one way is better than the other, but I'm saying that I walked around on mine for like a week. He needed surgery and well, we don't know that we don't know that we don't know if he needed surgery or not. Why'd you do this? This was stupid. Maybe he didn't need, maybe his leg wasn't that broken.
Starting point is 00:19:15 Yeah, it was very, very broken. It was broken. It sucks. It sucks for Alex Smith. The good news for the Redskins is Colt McCoy is probably one of the better backups in the league. Yeah. And if you remember like two years ago, when they were trying to figure out what to do
Starting point is 00:19:27 with Kirk Cousins for like the second time out of nine decisions they had to make about them, they were about to let cousins walk and just go with McCoy McCoy because Jay Gruden loves Colt McCoy. Yes. Colt McCoy is he's good enough. Well, no, what he is is Colt McCoy is the type of, he's a gamer. He's going to win you a lot of games like 2117. And then when you get to a big moment and you need a big drive, he's not, he's not that
Starting point is 00:19:55 guy. Yeah. He's, he's not, he can't put the team on his back. No, but he can, he can tread water. He for sure can tread water. He can tread water. But as we've said earlier, like with the AJ Green thing, treading water just means like losing.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Yeah. A lot. Yeah. Every now and then you win one game in front of, like you might win on Thanksgiving and then be like, Hey, Colt McCoy. Okay. Silver lining in this, here are some of the names that they're considering bringing in or that they will be bringing in this week.
Starting point is 00:20:19 You ready? Colin Kaepernick. Yeah. We're going to get big boners just here in this list. Okay. TG8. He's coming in. It's a hell.
Starting point is 00:20:27 Ready? Mark Sanchez. Yep. Mark Sanchez is coming in. EGM annual is coming in. Another spectacular backup name. Okay. Now I'm floating these names out here.
Starting point is 00:20:35 Nathan Peterman. Nathan Peterman has not been mentioned, but he did get a try out with Alliance. True. So that name is heating up. By the way, Nathan Peterman's QBR went up again this weekend when he didn't play. Okay. Here are some names I'm floating out there. RG3.
Starting point is 00:20:47 Yeah. Well, the whole problem is that he's on another team. Yeah. Well, he was, he got in at wide receiver today and people forget he used to play, he was a college quarterback like Julian Edelman. So maybe they'll bring him in there. Brett Farf. Yes.
Starting point is 00:21:01 We'd love to see if he can strap him up one more time. All we need is Edwardor down in Mississippi. Yeah. So I'm here with Bus Cook. Yeah. And Brett is throwing the ball around in the backyard. Well, yeah. To like a 14 year old kid.
Starting point is 00:21:12 He's talking to himself. He's throwing it through a tire. Oh wait. No, this is actually just a jeans ad. He's knocked out a six teeth of his favorite golden retriever with fastball. He's looking great. Yeah. I mean, Tebow, Kaepernick.
Starting point is 00:21:24 Let's get weird with it. Actually, I don't think Kaep would ever play for the Redskins. No, they're going to. Yeah. No, definitely not. And they're going to, they're going to go up to a major league. Yeah. They're going to go to Colt McCoy and no one else.
Starting point is 00:21:35 Yeah. If we're being honest. Probably Matt Barkley. Actually. Okay. So two other names that were floated big time and these are, these were serious discussions about these guys. You ready?
Starting point is 00:21:45 First one and we're not going to be excited about this. Paxton Lynch. I'm excited about that. I'm not. I want to, no, I want Paxton Lynch to get back in the NFL so I can keep reminding people about the time he lost me all that money in that bowl game when Memphis got the shit kicked out of him by Auburn because they just didn't show up. That's true.
Starting point is 00:22:01 Paxton has, I would say, top five worst facial hair in NFL history as a man with bad facial hair. I feel like I can say that. No, he looked like a kid who was trying to sell you really shitty Molly outside of club. He looked like a pirate that accidentally ingested rum that's been in wormwood too long and started hallucinating. The other one that they're considering bringing in is Sam Bradford. That's a real no.
Starting point is 00:22:25 That's what? Whoa. Whoa. You said I wouldn't get excited. Well, here's the thing. That's the completion record as of two years ago. Yeah. That guy?
Starting point is 00:22:36 The same one. Yeah, that guy? Sam Bradford on the FedEx Field Turf. Yep. Give it to me. Recipe for disaster. Sammy, please. I want it.
Starting point is 00:22:44 That's, I mean, I'm very excited about that name. Okay. So the other side of the Redskins game, the Texas have now won seven straight. Yeah. And are you sweating? No, I'm not. I'm fine. You should be sweating a little bit.
Starting point is 00:22:55 No, no, no, I'm fine. I mean, have you thought about life without a pinky yet? Like have you started to make the emotional adjustment? Yeah. Well, here's what I see coming. I see a Super Bowl between the Texans and the Bears. And that would be, that would be great content. But here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:23:10 I think you would rather have it be the Texans and the Bears because if you lose in your Bears fan and you have to cut your pinky off, it's like, it's not that big of an add-on to the crushing. You just do it right away. You do it right away. You're like, you're like, my hand is what hurts now, not my soul. I don't. And if it's a team that you don't care about, that they beat the Super Bowl, then it's
Starting point is 00:23:30 the whole game, you're just going to be thinking, God, my fucking pinky, I'm going to cut my pinky off. Here's the thing. I'm not worried at all about my pinky. I'm not worried about the Texans winning the Super Bowl. The only thing I am worried about is I'm like pre-angry at people calling me a pussy when I cut off the tip of my pinky and they're like, why didn't you cut the whole fucking thing?
Starting point is 00:23:48 And they're like unsatisfied with me cutting off. With good reason. My pinky for my knuckle up. I mean, if we go back and we listen to the tape, you set it right away. I said, I right away, we're going to go knuckle up. So you're also unsatisfied with PFT's tape. Well, because we never saw me poop. You're going to watch me cut off my pinky.
Starting point is 00:24:06 You can do all sorts of crazy things. Yeah. You're going to see it. Listen, Hank, you'll see it. Yeah. You'll see it. Hank can do all sorts of crazy things with CGI. I don't know if that's going to be real or not.
Starting point is 00:24:15 All right. Well, we'll see. You'll see my nub if Bill O'Brien. Your hand's just going to be in front of a green screen and then it's just going to disappear. It's going to be like, your pinky is going to go, hey, big cat, don't feel so good and it's just going to disintegrate. Nub cat would be huge ratings for this podcast.
Starting point is 00:24:27 We can do it on air. We could fucking cut it off on air. I saw the Texans are here live stream of it. Yeah. There's seven to know in their last seven. That's crazy. I'm not nervous. So Bill O'Brien, come on to Sean Watson also.
Starting point is 00:24:42 If you watch the text, it's like to Sean Watson is always one play away from basically going to the hospital for us. His life. Yeah. Okay. Whatever. He just scrambles. He's a burden long for the Texans and he's just running around and it feels like he takes
Starting point is 00:24:56 a million hits. How many playoff games do they have to win for you to get actually worried? They would have to be in the AFC Championship game for me to start actually worrying. I think they can do it. That defensive line is really good. Yeah, it is. JJ Watt's also got to stay healthy. To Davian Clowney.
Starting point is 00:25:11 I think that JJ Watt is actually like taking this as extra motivation because he hates you so much that I told him he could cut it. I texted him. I said, you can cut it off. What did he say? He's like, probably not. He didn't respond. No, he actually did respond.
Starting point is 00:25:23 He said, probably not. Don't get jealous of me. No, I'm not. No. I'm not jealous at all. No, he said, haha. I'll watch, but I don't think I'm going to cut it off. I'll watch.
Starting point is 00:25:33 Yeah. He'll watch. He'll definitely watch. All right. So that is those games. Then we also had the Steelers and Jaguars. The Steelers are one of the hottest teams in the NFL. The Jaguars.
Starting point is 00:25:45 I'm going to say this nicely. Doug Morone, you have to let Blake Bortles be Blake Bortles. You fucking asshole. That was nice. Right? Yeah. He just got to let them sing. They got up for a lead.
Starting point is 00:25:58 They were up 16 to nothing and they just started running the ball. They get very good. Let's Blake be Blake. The other thing is Leonard Farnett. I know that he puts up, well, every week he has like 24 rushing attempts for 88 yards. That's like the classic Leonard Farnett and maybe one or two touchdowns, which is great, but they're all like one yard touchdown runs. Yes.
Starting point is 00:26:16 He has really bad vision. He's just a big dude, right? So he's used to running people over. So he just runs it. He runs straight as fast as he can, which is great for a full back, but not for a guy that you're given like 25 touches a game to. This felt like the Jaguars last stand a little bit. They get too scared.
Starting point is 00:26:34 Yeah. You know what it is? Doug Morone doesn't have the same confidence in Blake Bortles that we do. Yeah. That's true. And we like you, Doug Morone. We do. We're a good coach.
Starting point is 00:26:44 But just let Blake be Blake. Let him let him air it out. You're clipping Blake's wings. Yeah. Okay. It was it was handcuffs off. It was a game that I want people to understand that like when they say Levy on Bell is James Connor made Levy on Bell like almost expendable.
Starting point is 00:27:02 If you watch that game, there were so many times that Levy on or James Connor just missed a pass or didn't make a play that Levy on Bell 100% would have made. And so it's funny that the stats, the running stats are there, but they forget how good Levy on Bell is as like basically a wide receiver. Yeah. Doing everything. Right. And then a big Ben after he had that fourth quarter touchdown at the very end of the game,
Starting point is 00:27:23 he looked up to the sky to point where where he thinks God's houses. And then he just held on to the football and he still has the football. He's like, I'm not letting this one go. This is my magic football. Yeah. It's going to be a little stuffed animal he sleeps with. All right. And then the last one, we, the night game, the Sunday night game, the Bears, the Bears
Starting point is 00:27:39 defense. You got to say pretty fucking good. The Mitch Trubisky was running around, made a couple of bad throws, but that's okay. A little heart attack quarterback. That's actually like exactly where the Bears like, the Bears always want to be in that comfort zone. I was talking to a football guy last week and somebody that really knows a shit and he said that you want your quarterback to throw in receptions.
Starting point is 00:27:59 Yes. Because if you throw in receptions, then you're taking chances. Yes. You don't want a guy who, I mean, like I would rather have, who was I talking about when I said that you were talking about Mitch, I think no, I was definitely not talking about Mitch. Pretty sure you were. I absolutely wasn't talking about Mitch.
Starting point is 00:28:15 I was talking about someone who doesn't throw the ball downfield Howard Smith. Who was it? Who was I talking about? Derek Carr. No. He takes chances. Marriota. Yes, it was.
Starting point is 00:28:27 It was Marriota. Yes. It absolutely was. It absolutely was. So, so the point is Mitch is taking chances. Oh, he throws downfield. He takes a shitload of chances. He likes to throw on the run a lot, but he still hasn't figured out like he's really
Starting point is 00:28:38 good at throwing. I think when he jumps off his right foot on the run, but he'll jump off his left foot a lot. And then when he does that, he has some accuracy issues. Listen, he like he made a bunch of plays of his feet. He's, I'm not worried about Mitch. I think the defense showed up. I also think it's hilarious that Kirk Cousins like people still buy this shit.
Starting point is 00:28:58 $90 million. The fact that he, they showed before the game, he was pumping up their, the Vikings team by saying this is, they chose us to flex to prime time, not because of the Bears, but because of us. That was his pump up. It's true. We're not true, but that's not true. Weird flex.
Starting point is 00:29:18 Yeah. But okay. Yeah. It was what, what, what, what hell of a pump up speech by Kirk Cousins? I love Kirk Cousins. That's about as good as it gets though for Kirk Cousins. That's as, that's as like cocky as he'll ever get. Kirk Cousins, Kirk Cousins will get you two games like, like we're played on Sunday night
Starting point is 00:29:33 and then lose those games. That is Kirk Cousins, like sum him up perfectly. It's he will get you to a game that feels big and then lose it. And you're right. I think he, he absolutely looks smaller. Yeah. Absolutely. Him and Josh Rosen look really small this weekend.
Starting point is 00:29:47 Yeah. I don't know if he's shrunk. Josh Rosen is also, Josh Rosen is also, this is something you put in your tickler file. He is the king of weird stat lines. He is good for like 12 for 17, three touchdowns and four interceptions. You're like, what's going on here? How did you throw this many touchdowns and interceptions when you only passed the ball 16 times?
Starting point is 00:30:08 Yeah. He did. He absolutely have a game where he's like 19 for 22, but no, it would not be 19 for 22. Listen, listen, 19. Okay. 19 for 25 for 132 yards. Right. I think, I honestly think he threw for like 106 yards today and he completed 16 passes.
Starting point is 00:30:25 But here's the, I've already declared, I'm not judging Josh Rosen or anything this year. That's true. I've already turned the page on him. That's true. So, so the Bears, NFC North, they, would you say the Bears are the third? The third best team in the NFC right now as we're sitting here? Ooh, that's okay. Well, let's, let's list them.
Starting point is 00:30:38 Yeah. Well, it's obviously the saints and the Rams. Right. And then they're, they're, and now get me, don't get me wrong, they're quite a bit ahead of the Bears. Yes. But who is the third? Uh, third would probably, I mean, the Redskins just lost Alex Smith.
Starting point is 00:30:52 I think you, you can have them in conversation if Alex Smith's healthy. So I would say the Panthers, but the Panthers lost two in a row. They shot the bed again. Right. Exactly. The Panthers have not looked good the last two weeks. I mean, at the center point, the lines practiced outside this week. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:05 So that was actually big. I'm Matt Patricia. I love that. He is, he just figures out a way to like get his whole team to hate him at all times. His 900 word explanation on why they practiced outside. And then they're like, they're next like six games or an adult. Listen, he's battling snowflakes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:20 He's out there fighting the war on the war on football. So yeah, would you say it? Would you say it? I would say that the Bears are like, yeah, but saying that they're third in the NFC, it's like, I mean, there's seven and three, they're not, you're, you're, you're pretty like they're our bad team. They're not a bad team. They lost to the Packers and the Patriots, and then they had the really bad game against
Starting point is 00:31:35 the Dolphins. They have flaws. They have significant flaws. Significant. Yeah. Okay. I think bad, when bad, when bad mit shows up, it's a significant flaw. I listen to this and Kyle Long, that's a big flaw too.
Starting point is 00:31:48 He's going to be back. The offensive line isn't that great right now. He's going to be back. Now you're just repeating what I said. No. Start the game. I know that the offensive line is that great right now. We can't run the ball.
Starting point is 00:31:56 Yeah. They couldn't get it going in the middle. They're relying on. Don't repeat my own. They're relying issues with the Bears and I say out loud and the throwback. They are relying on jet sweeps and stuff to the outside a little too much. All right. So we also, I'm trying to think what other games.
Starting point is 00:32:12 Also Cody Parky. Cody Parky's back. So don't you dare come with Cody Parky. Any other games you need to touch, any other games we missed? I really did like Mike Zimmer tonight. That was pretty great, wasn't it? Yes. A little outfit he was wearing.
Starting point is 00:32:26 Absolutely. He started, he looked like the kid from Christmas Story that was like all bundled up and his little shop. He looked like he was like the sixth grade, you know, a woodworking guy. Yeah. Did you notice that though? Like his body just kind of tapered down like a traffic cone. It was like he had like a suicide vest of red band on.
Starting point is 00:32:42 Kirk Cousins is going to, is going to kill Mike Zimmer. Like he definitely is very upset at Kirk Cousins. Well, yeah. Mike Zimmer is going to die because of Kirk Cousins. Yeah. Kirk Cousins is going to kill Mike Zimmer. Yeah. Mike Zimmer just doesn't like any quarterback.
Starting point is 00:32:55 Right. But especially Kirk Cousins. Especially not one that's getting paid 90 million dollars. Right. I was going to say who you got tonight. Oh yeah. Well, we'll get to it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:04 We'll get to it. We have that in segments. The only other thing I wanted to bring up is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are the greatest fumbling team in history of football. How many turnovers did they have in the last like two weeks? James Winston and Ryan Fitzpatrick. They, it's almost like they're, they're, they're handling a greased up watermelon. Ryan Fitzpatrick got benched because he was like fumbling in carols with the ball.
Starting point is 00:33:23 James Winston came in and scored in the most James Winston touchdown ever, scrambled, fumbled into the end zone and then his own receiver got the fumble and scored a touchdown. It was a small hand. So we talked about. Yeah. Small hand. Very small hand. He also looks a little thin.
Starting point is 00:33:40 Did you see that? You think he's been working out too much? I think he actually, no, I think he's actually looking, he cut a little weight. He's got a little less pudged. I don't like that. I noticed that. I don't like that at all. I like my James Winston a little chubby, a little slap sticky.
Starting point is 00:33:49 I also want the Giants to win at least four, well, no, I think they play the Bears a couple weeks. I want them to win five out of their next six so that all Giants fans can get their hopes up. Can I get your hopes down real quick? Yeah. All right. So yes, the Bears are in first place in the NFC North.
Starting point is 00:34:05 Yes. But the Packers have the easiest schedule in the NFL for the rest of the year. So that's fine. Is it time? No, they still got to make up a lot of ground. Yeah. But you forget Aaron Rodgers, it's about that time of year where he invents a cool new phrase, like run the table.
Starting point is 00:34:20 Nope. R-E-L-A-X. Nope. Because he wants Mike McCartney to get fired. He's sick of him. So I wouldn't be shocked if Aaron Rodgers throws the rest of the year. You're thinking he's just going to give up? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:32 I don't think so. He's that type of guy. I think he's going to do an interview this week and people are going to be down on him and he's going to invent something cool. He's going to be like, got to win them all. He's getting him. I'm not going to. Trademark Aaron Rodgers.
Starting point is 00:34:42 The Packers will be back in the conversation though after I said they were done on Friday. They will be back in the conversation. Yes. You just know it. He wants it to happen, but it's going to happen. Fuck. Okay. Let's do our who's back of the week and then we will do football guy of the week on the
Starting point is 00:34:56 other side of our John Taffer interview. Hank, would you like to start? I would love to start. Thank you, Picat. Absolutely. My who's back of the week is the office. Okay. Like our office?
Starting point is 00:35:07 No. The office. The British version? Nope. Cool. You'd watch it. It was way better. It was so much funnier.
Starting point is 00:35:15 Steve Carell hosted SNL. It was a great, hilarious SNL. Yeah. Yeah. Really good. So funny. So funny. And there was a skit when Ed Helms, a bunch of old office cast members came back.
Starting point is 00:35:24 They did a little banter back and forth and in the skit they said it's not coming back, but it's definitely one of those things where they're just getting people used to talking about it. So when it comes back, they're excited. Nice. Yeah. I think people will be excited. They were testing the waters.
Starting point is 00:35:38 Was that clip on Twitter? Yeah. Nice. I got to check it out. You know what they're going to do? They're just going to bring back like all the shittiest characters. Well, that's what I was reading an article in the NBC executives want to do it. Steve Carell doesn't, but they might just do it without him anyway.
Starting point is 00:35:52 Well, that'd be a disaster. Yeah. It's going to be like Aaron and it's going to be the girl that tried to sleep with Jim and all the other people that nobody cares about. Hot take. D'Angelo Vickers was underrated. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:04 He was okay. Oh, he was underrated. Yeah. He was all right. Yeah. The other guy I didn't like, Bob Robert California. Robert California. Charles Minor was good.
Starting point is 00:36:12 Yeah. D'Angelo Vickers was underrated. I'd watch the office of D'Angelo Vickers. With Will Ferrell? Yeah. I would too. So, SNL sounds like it was a hilarious episode. Hilarious.
Starting point is 00:36:21 Top to bottom, right? Yeah. Right off the start. It was good. All right. Very funny. I got to check it out. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:29 I usually skip the, I skip past the monologue and then watch from there on. Yeah. You got to skip the cold open. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. My who's back of the week. Number one is Turduckens.
Starting point is 00:36:37 I love Turduckens and I miss John Madden every time they bring that fucking turkey out. The turkey with a, well, what order is it? I think it's turkey, then duck, then chicken. Okay. But this is one of those, I feel like this is one of those Berenstein Bears things, you know, that whole internet thing where everyone, wait, was it Berenstein Bears that everyone thinks? It's spelled Berenstein.
Starting point is 00:36:56 Yeah. Bernstein Bears. Are they the Bernstein Bears? It's spelled S-T-A-I-N. And everyone thinks it's Steen, S-T-E-I-N. So the Turduckens is more famous because of Frank Caliendo than John Matt. Yes. Boom.
Starting point is 00:37:13 Boom. Boom. I like, I actually don't know. I mean, I'm sure John Madden mentioned it. But the one that you're really thinking of is him like actually stuffing it and doing a whole comedy bit. No. I remember distinctly John Madden doing the Telestrator and showing like, okay, every
Starting point is 00:37:26 year here's the turkey leg, here's the chicken, here's the duck. And he was, the thing is with John Madden, he was genuinely fascinated by it every year. He forgot every year, like how it was made and he was like, oh, all sorts of poultry. Yeah. I'm not saying you didn't do it. I'm just saying that I feel like the cultural impact was heightened by Frank Caliendo. And now that I think about it, I don't think they do the Turducken anymore. No.
Starting point is 00:37:48 I think Fox moved on. No, they definitely don't. They should bring John Madden back because you millennials out there only know him from your video games, from playing your Nintendo's. Yep. And you never got to hear John Madden commentate a game and it was amazing. Yes. He was so good at it.
Starting point is 00:38:02 Yes. He created the doink. And the sound boom. Yeah. He invented both of those. My other who's back of the week is Tiger Woods. The Tiger Woods, who's back of the week award goes to Tiger Woods. They asked him about Phil Mickelson and whether or not Tiger Woods was in Phil's head leading
Starting point is 00:38:20 up to their one-on-one showdown. And he goes, I've been living in Phil Mickelson's head for the last 20 years. So getting a little smack talk with the boys. If Tiger's saying that though, wouldn't Phil kind of be in his head too? No. He's thinking about how much he's in Phil's head. So that's, this is Internet 101. If you tweeted someone, then they're triggered.
Starting point is 00:38:40 So if you say, if you tweeted someone, you're triggered and then they can say, I have rent in your head. But if you're, you mentioned, but if you're living, no, you don't have rent. You're living rent free. Right. You're not paying. Right. Correct.
Starting point is 00:38:52 But they're triggered that you're in their head. Right. It's like, like we're going to get to Urban Meyer, but I tweeted about Urban Meyer on Saturday in Ohio State. Finn said, all you do all Saturday is tweet about Urban Meyer. And then it was like, if you looked at my timeline, there was like four tweets about Urban Meyer and 50 tweets about everything else. That's how you own someone online.
Starting point is 00:39:09 Urban Meyer lives rent free and Urban Meyer's own head. A lot of people have actually lived in that little mini Urban Meyer is actually sick. That's why he's got the head. Yes. He's just, he's got like, he's one of those little miners with a chisel and like a fork just chopping away. Yes. But yeah, a lot of people have lived in Phil Mickelson's head, like the IRS, SEC, right?
Starting point is 00:39:30 Wingfoot. Although no, he beat those. Yeah. But they've been, they're in his head. Well, you had to pay a little fine. Yeah. They're in his head. They've had to pay a damn little.
Starting point is 00:39:38 It's our training. Who cares? Who's living rent free in Phil Mickelson's tits? That's what I want to know. I don't know. The State Puff Marshmallow man. Yeah. I was going to say, probably chocolate ice cream.
Starting point is 00:39:49 Yeah. Yeah. All right. My who's back is similar to the Thanksgiving. The pictures of turkeys that we're going to all eat. I love that. I love when we're watching a game and they're like, look at all these turkeys. You're going to eat that shit.
Starting point is 00:40:02 Oh, the birds. Look at these cute little turkeys just gobbling away. It's like, nah, slaughter those fucks. I want them. It's really fucked up when you actually think about it. When they just show the turkey farms, that's their intro back to the football game. That's Americana at its best. I love it.
Starting point is 00:40:20 Did Donald Trump pardon Turkey last year? I think so. I don't remember him doing that. I would love to hear just a speech that he would give him. You know who the real Turkey is. He just felt Obama. Obama. Yep.
Starting point is 00:40:29 He really is. We should throw that clip out there. All right. Let's do John Taffer before we get to that, couple ads. I love that Dollar Shave Club has everything I need to look, feel, and smell my best. What I love even more is the fact that I never have to go to a store. That's because, one, Dollar Shave Club delivers everything I need right to my door, and two, they keep me fully stocked on what I use so I don't run out.
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Starting point is 00:43:09 Okay, here he is, John Taffer. Okay, we now welcome on a good friend, a recurring guest. It is John Taffer live in studio. Taft Daddy, how we doing? I'm great, man. How are you, buddy? I'm great. I feel great whenever you're around and I feel like we needed this because I gotta be
Starting point is 00:43:29 honest with you. I'm getting a little tired. We're working. Football season is a little crazy. So I need a little pep in my step. I need a little John Taffer pep talk. Okay, you ready? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:39 I'm really impressed, buddy, with everything that you guys have done this year. Oh, thank you. You guys have elevated the brand to a new level. Yep. I must confess his outfits are getting much better. Do you agree? Yes, I agree with you. His outfits are.
Starting point is 00:43:51 The coordination is getting better. Are we talking about my outfits? No, I'm talking about that. Yeah. Come a long way. So you're in a better place right now than you were a year ago. Big time. Yes.
Starting point is 00:44:00 I'm older, fatter and more tired, though. Ah, but you're also far more experienced, got a few extra hours in your pocket. Life is good. The football season has been tough, Taffer. But it's almost over. How much cash do you have on you right now, by the way? That's actually why we really brought you in. Is that okay?
Starting point is 00:44:13 I brought my checkbook. Oh, okay. How's private jet life, by the way? It's pretty good. I flew in last night. He owns. Taffer, you bought your own plane. I have a jet.
Starting point is 00:44:23 That's nice. What kind of golf stream? It's a Hawker 800. Oh, yeah. Medium sized. Yeah. It's like the Honda Civic. Why didn't you get the good one?
Starting point is 00:44:32 No, it's a medium. It's a medium sized jet. Can you lay down? Oh, it has a couch in it that I lay down and sleep in. I'm going to look it up right now. Do you have a Hawker 800? Do you have a bar in there? I have a bar in there.
Starting point is 00:44:40 I have a galley in there. A bar, restroom, lavatory. Oh, you're going to pass them on. A burge with a seat. It's a galley. It's a beautiful plane. Okay. Do you have a jet?
Starting point is 00:44:48 Do you just get to go up into the cockpit whenever you want? Sure. That's kind of cool. And you know, one of the guys will not, well, they're landing, of course, but one of the guys will get out of the cockpit and I'll go sit down in there. So a pilot seat? Will they let you take the sticks just for a second and be like, hey, you know, let it rip?
Starting point is 00:45:02 Well, we can't say that online. But yes, I have. How many? How many? How many? Good thing this isn't being taped. How many? How many?
Starting point is 00:45:10 Oh, okay. Yeah. I'm looking at the video too. It's pretty nice. You know what the nice thing about like private jets and private yachts are? You always have pictures of them online. So whenever somebody buys like a yacht, you can just go, if you know the name of it, you can just Google it and people just want to put pictures of their boat online.
Starting point is 00:45:25 Yeah. Name of the plane. You can type in my name and it'll come up. Your tail number? You can see pictures of it. Well, I won't tell you my tail number. But if you put it in my name, you can probably find it. So do you bring your whole team with you wherever you go or you ever fly by yourself?
Starting point is 00:45:37 It's a 90% of the time I'm by myself. You know what it's become? That seems a little excessive, Taffer. No, it's not. It's not to travel the team around. What it is, is for me being in my business and you'll relate to this. Being in the television business, what happens is my show wraps at night and I can't do events the next day because I have to travel the next day.
Starting point is 00:45:55 So by buying the plane, I fly at night. So the plane actually is making money for you. It gives me 52 more days a year of availability and I book speeches on those days which pays for the plane. For example, suddenly yesterday I had a reason to come to New York. So I jumped on my plane 11 o'clock. Was it last night? No, no, it wasn't.
Starting point is 00:46:15 You're a consequence. So I flew all last night, landed at 7 this morning because of the snowstorm. So I had to get in after the snowstorm. So I landed at 7 this morning in Teterboro. Yep. Ben, there's not Bradley Cooper there. Well, I saw the back of his head walking on the tarmac, but it was Bradley Cooper. He was walking away from you.
Starting point is 00:46:32 He was walking very fast. Interesting. So when we have a private jet, what's the lead time? If you want to fly somewhere, let's say in three hours, one of your buddies is like, fly down to Miami, we'll do an event tonight. Can you do that like three hours ago? Well, it isn't just a plane. It's a crew.
Starting point is 00:46:47 So we have a hangar in Las Vegas, our own private hangar. We have our own private crew and we have a flight department. So we have a mechanic on staff, a pilot on staff and an SIC, second in command on staff. So it's the same pilot every time? Yeah. They work for me. They're on the payroll. So they're exclusive to us.
Starting point is 00:47:03 So I could call last night. I called and I was in the air three hours later. Have you had a moment yet where you're like, I can't believe this is my life? Sure. When I bought the thing, which was about a year and a half ago. I remember when you bought it. You told me about it. Of course I did.
Starting point is 00:47:17 Holy shit. I told fucking everybody. It's one of those kind of things. That's what you do when you buy a plane. That's part of paying for itself. Yeah. But it's a part of life that you never thought you'd ever achieve that. So you know, you go there at night.
Starting point is 00:47:27 So I would buy the thing the first week. I'd drive a hangar at night. Yeah. I'd open up the door. I'd just sit in a freaking plane and just, you know, rebel in the moment and say, holy shit. You know, I can't believe that I've actually accomplished. Now, is there anything to prevent you from living in your plane?
Starting point is 00:47:41 No, it's funny. I almost want to turn it into an RV. Yeah. Like just, just live out of the plane. One of them would be sick. You know, and it's fun. And I stop along the way. The cool thing about the plane is next week I go to Puerto Rico to start shooting a new
Starting point is 00:47:53 TV show and I'll stop at five cities on the way and see friends. Ooh. So that stuff is really cool. Okay. So can you, if not saying this isn't for you, this is for maybe some people who create like a fake goldfish gambling Ponzi scheme situation. Could you possibly just be like, Hey, I want to get out of the country. Let's go.
Starting point is 00:48:13 Yes. Okay. All right. Good to have a friend. So if we sell enough t-shirts, we get our private jet and we get out, get out of dodge real fast. Okay. And I think that's something you want to always keep available in your back pocket, particularly
Starting point is 00:48:25 for you then. Yes. Do you have a plan? Hypothetically, all the shit hits the fence. Weird stuff happens. You're not involved in, but you are implicated in. What country are you flying to? I've never really looked at it that way before.
Starting point is 00:48:36 Really? Yeah. I would, I would absolutely have like a go bag. You gotta have something. And a flight plan. Yeah. Some country. Like Ecuador, right?
Starting point is 00:48:44 Maybe Aruba. Aruba. That's good. And Ireland is cool. Yep. It's just a nice view on the way. Yep. No extradition.
Starting point is 00:48:52 I liked that. I liked that a lot. Nice. So what else you got cooking? Nothing. I got a new TV show. I'm pretty excited about it. I'm not stopping Bar Rescue because Bar Rescue ratings are the same.
Starting point is 00:49:00 You better not. They don't fricking change. I love it. So, so we have 11 that we've already shot. I start shooting 12 more Bar Rescues in February. Okay. And you'll carry through the rest of the years. What cities?
Starting point is 00:49:11 So I'm doing, this year I'm doing a three in Key West. Okay. Okay. Three in Tampa. Okay. Three in Kansas City. Okay. And three in Denver.
Starting point is 00:49:20 Okay. Listen. So we need to do Key West. No, I'll just say Denver. No, no, no. Are you kidding me? Key high. Did you get high in Key West?
Starting point is 00:49:28 Well, hold on guys. It's, it's, I want to plug into the right kind of high. It isn't the city. I want to plug into the right bar. Yes. I've put you like, when we put you in the last one, I could have put you in a better bar. The St. Louis one?
Starting point is 00:49:39 Yeah. It could have been a more fitting environment for you. So I want to put you guys in a place where it's really fun. Do we get the private jet when we want to go to Tampa or is Tampa a strip club, I assume? You're just rescuing three strip clubs. Immediately. That's all the, I mean, it's steak houses and strip clubs and usually it's the combined in Tampa.
Starting point is 00:50:00 Yes. So you're talking about Rachel's. Yes. I went there. Yes. You get the meat and the dairy at the same time. Yes. You literally are sitting, like there's a glass and closed spot where it's like a $70
Starting point is 00:50:09 steak and you're just sitting above a strip club. That's amazing. Walkway. It's like a little slice of heaven. Yeah. I love, by the way, I love. That's the end of society right there by the way. That's the epicenter.
Starting point is 00:50:19 I love this. The strip club sports bars are great. So the girls dancing on stage. Somebody hits a home run. Everybody applauded. She says thank you. Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:50:27 Hello exactly. Bob, just make me a promise. When you go to Key West, there is a bar there. There's one bar stool that has Mike Leach's name carved underneath it and I don't want you to get rid of that stool. Yes. That's like a very, very important stool. Coach of Washington.
Starting point is 00:50:40 I'll check with you. I'll check with you. I'll check with you. I'll just say university coach. Yes. Keep it there. Don't get rid of that. I actually had a question for you about like a new type of, well it's not that new of
Starting point is 00:50:48 a restaurant, but it's like a novelty restaurant. It's the one that you go to and you sit down and the servers just berate you. You know they just like call you pieces of shit. Ed DeBevix. Ed DeBevix, Dick's last resort. Yep. Dick's was the first one that actually did that. That'll start, you'll start a controversy in Chicago because the Chicago guy was Ed's.
Starting point is 00:51:02 But what, does that actually work or where do you stand on that because it pisses me off a little bit. You know, it's a place that you go once, you're not going to go back. So you know, things like that are novelty, but that's novelty is good. But how many times you're going to go there and just have a curse at you, chew gum in your face. I don't know. I think there's some, I mean there's some people that are like, you know, who like to
Starting point is 00:51:22 be dominated. Yeah. They call them subs. Yeah. You prefer the abuse. Personally, I'm saying there are some people just like there are some people who like the lobster machine that you hate. So, so, so you're suggesting that you're suggesting to me that Ed DeBevix or this Dick's last
Starting point is 00:51:38 resort is a place that only losers who like to be abused go not, well, we don't call them losers. Some people are subs. It's, it's, it's a thing that the submissive that like to be abused. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. S&M stuff.
Starting point is 00:51:53 Like big cat likes. I have to whip him before every show to get him in the zone. I got you. Don't kink shame. The lobster machine. Yes. Can we please come on. You want to talk about the lobster machine?
Starting point is 00:52:02 Let's, let's just, let's, let's, let's, let's let lobster machines are funny. You catch a lobster and you cook it. Yes. And? And the fricking, do you ever hear what the lobster does when you drop it in a pot of boiling water? Do you ever hear that? Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:52:15 Well, I won't fricking think screams. Here's a problem with the lobster tank and I'm just tougher than that. Okay. Here's a problem with the lobster tank. Mm-hmm. That people that cook the lobsters from those tanks are bartenders that don't know how to cook lobster. These are not seafood restaurants.
Starting point is 00:52:28 So they boil the water at a low temperature. Yeah. They drop the thing because they don't give it long enough. That's a hot tub. And it's really fricking cruel. Yeah. So this thing goes in water that doesn't quite kill it, but tortures it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:52:40 All right. Fine. You changed my opinion on the lobster machine. But if you had a lobster machine in like a five star high-end seafood restaurant, that would be fine. That would be fine. By the way, we're, we're stopping that. To explain this, we're talking about the, the actual like the claw machines, you, you
Starting point is 00:52:52 get the, the little prizes. You put a dollar in and you get the claw machine, you pick up a prize. It's that, but for lobsters, live lobsters. I think that would be nice at like a five star, like a Michelin-starred restaurant to have a little lobster machine. Yeah. Put your quarter in. What?
Starting point is 00:53:06 And you get the claw. What does it mean? We used to think, we used to do something years ago in a restaurant. It's called nothing but net. And we'd set up a basketball net in the corner of the restaurant. And we'd have three foul lines, one for kids, one for women, one for men. And after you ordered your entree, you went up and took a shot. And if you got it in, if you got it in, your entree was free.
Starting point is 00:53:23 I like that. If you didn't get it in, you got a ticket for two shots next week. I like that. So then if you could take two, then you could take three, then you could take four. And we moved the line back. Gradually? So about, only about 3% of the people had hit it. I like that.
Starting point is 00:53:37 It was really, really popular. It's sort of what you're talking about. And well in Madison, they had a foot night at State Street Bots where you got to flip for your, your drink order, flip a coin. Gotcha. That's pretty good. That's pretty cool. Another way to do is we'll take the wheel, the big spin wheel, and we'll put like five
Starting point is 00:53:51 colors on it. So you get a yellow dot, you get a green dot, you get a blue dot. We spin the wheel. If blue comes up, everybody with a blue dot drinks for free. I like that. I'll spin it every 45 minutes. Speaking of like Dom's sub stuff, I was in a bar like two weeks ago and they had one of those wheels up where, you know, it lands on one thing and you get a free shot of fireball,
Starting point is 00:54:09 or lands on one thing and you have to do the like whipped cream shot. One of them was just to get up on the bar and get spanked by the bartender. I like that. I had a place years ago where we had an S&M bar in it. Yeah, let's talk more S&M. It was called Monkey Bar and it was a hard rock and roll bar. Okay. And in the back we had a dominatrix station where you would get a shot and she'd whip
Starting point is 00:54:27 your butt. Yeah. So you would take the shot, you'd put your hands on the bar, you'd assume the position, you'd spread them, and then she'd give you a couple of nice whacks. It's just good cream fun. I like this. It actually was really popular. People really liked it.
Starting point is 00:54:39 I like this. The fun was for you to buy Dan a drink. Instead of watching it. Instead of watching it. Yeah, yeah. So like all these, these are some good novelty concepts to run through. What trend out there would you say is like on the way out now? Steampunk.
Starting point is 00:54:51 Steampunk's here to stay, bro. Steampunk is starting to fade. But you know, stuff like Dix is getting old, you know, that stuff is getting old. I'll tell you what's fading and you guys are going to, you know, you're going to start craft beer. Craft beer is getting freaking killed right now. And what's happened in the bubble beer world, what's happened is originally when people started making craft beers, they were into the beer.
Starting point is 00:55:11 Yeah. Now they're fricking bankers that are into the money, so that half the craft beer is now suck. Yeah. They're bought out by the big guys. And it's just not the same. Yeah. It's interesting.
Starting point is 00:55:21 I was looking at a research document the other day. When you apply the word craft to beer, it has a negative consequence now. If you apply the word craft to whiskey, it has a positive consequence now. I like that. So, you know, beer is starting to fade. It's, there's not one beer company in America that has projected positive sales this year, not one. That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:55:43 That is kind of wild. It's millennials. Millennials are drinking. They're moving away from beer and they're moving to wine. They're moving to spirits. What? It's Lebron James. It's things like a fire, you know, a fireball.
Starting point is 00:55:52 Fireball is a great example of, you know, whiskey, but it's flavored. Right. It's whiskey. I want you to dispel something for me. And even if it's true, I want you to tell me that it's fake. I've heard that fireball has antifreeze in it. I've heard the same thing. I don't know that to be true.
Starting point is 00:56:05 That's a good one. I don't know it to be true either. Give us a definitive list of things millennials have ruined in the bar and restaurant business. Service. Service is one. Okay. Napkins. Ruin service.
Starting point is 00:56:20 Like from a service perspective, I'm about to get beat up over this, but there is a difference between the people that we hire today and the people we hired 15, 20 years ago. You're talking about the other side. So the, okay. I'm just talking about them as employees. You have to pay them today. Yeah. Well, there's a difference.
Starting point is 00:56:34 And you know, we, and, and there's a difference, you know, what's happened today. And I think that even you guys might be this in a sense. Okay. When you grow up with social media today, you can post a picture of yourself looking the worst you've ever fucking looked. And somebody's going to, somebody's going to say, man, you look great today. Oh, bro, you looked at, they're bullshitting us. So we post this stuff and we get this bullshit gratification from people that like it and
Starting point is 00:56:59 compliment us and it doesn't mean shit. Right. So we wait, we grow up getting this instant gratification all the time for everything that we do. Cool this, cool that. Oh, awesome. You look great. Great.
Starting point is 00:57:11 So we want everything instantly to gratify us now. That's why you're a little frustrated now in football season. No, I'm frustrated because I'm losing money. Well, yeah, you want, losing all my bets. That's really all it is. But so what's happened is though, when people, when millennials now go get jobs, the gratification isn't as quick as they're used to counterpoint. So they leave and they don't stay very long.
Starting point is 00:57:32 Okay. Counterpoint social media lets us know when someone like puts a pub or spits in our burger. Yes. Okay. Particularly the pub. I think we step out. Social media also, you can take a picture of like a celebrity that leaves you a really good tip and be like, Hey, this person's a great person and then you post online and
Starting point is 00:57:49 then they'll come back. Or tell me he's a dick because he's a famous dick. Would you fire somebody if, let's say, who's a famous Las Vegas celebrity, we can use an example here. I don't want to say Guy Fieri because he's awesome. Wayne Newton. Wayne Newton, okay. Wayne Newton comes into one of your restaurants and he's there with like eight people and
Starting point is 00:58:05 his weird tan and he's dripping all over the table with that bronzer that he's got on. And he's there, you know, pretty, you know, size party, yeah, pretty good size party. They rack up a $10,000 bill. He doesn't need the tip. He leaves 50 bucks on the table, walks away. Your server takes a picture of that tip, posted on social media and says, fire him. You're gonna fire him? Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:58:27 Absolutely. What if he leaves $0? Now I'll tell you what, what I would do in that situation, you know, what would happen is now I would, she would come up to me and say, I would probably tip her as the owner. That's Taffer. That's Taffer. That's Taffer. And here's why.
Starting point is 00:58:43 How do you turn this into something positive? Wayne Newton was in my restaurant, I got pictures of him in my restaurant, I'm gonna promote it, I'm gonna try to turn it into something good. I'm gonna give her the few dollars that he didn't give her, try to turn that into something good. If I don't turn it into something good, it's gonna be something bad. Right. So I gotta stop that projectile and turn it positive.
Starting point is 00:59:00 That's why you're the Taffer. That's why you're the Taffer. A lot of people wouldn't try to spin it that way. Now, would you welcome Wayne Newton back into your restaurant with open arms if you knew he was a habitual stiffer? Yes, I would because I wouldn't say no to any customer. Even if you were a stranger and you didn't tip and you came in, you just can't do that. And you can't today because of social media, because of what people do, you just can't
Starting point is 00:59:23 do that. You can't determine who's good enough for you and who's not. But can we shame bad tippers? You can, but I can't. Okay. That's fair. Yeah. You just leaked their names to us and we'll get it out there.
Starting point is 00:59:36 We'll tell it to them. Okay. Yeah, yeah, that's the deal. All right. I do like 20 to 28 somewhere in there. You guys are good tippers? Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:59:46 Great. I think if you grow up and you've worked in the service industry at some point, you understand how important, you know, make, you make your living off those tips and certainly not the hourly wage. It's a tough job too. So I like to pay that forward. Yeah. I go 20% start and it's very hard for me to go lower.
Starting point is 00:59:59 You'd have to really do something. I'm the same. I never do under 20. Right. Typically, I'll go to 30 if they're good. Right. Exactly. Then you go extra.
Starting point is 01:00:07 But they know who I am. Right. Now, what about bar tabs? So if I rack up, let's say I buy, you know, $35 worth of beer, all right? But it's all beers. Usually I tip, if I'm just going up to the bar one by one, I'll tip like a dollar per beer that I get. But if it's at like...
Starting point is 01:00:25 Which could be a 33% tip. Which could be, yeah. It's a bucket transaction. So once they give me, you know, the final bill, am I supposed to tip 20% or am I supposed to tip a dollar per beer? So did you tip as you go? No. No.
Starting point is 01:00:38 No. I think there's no difference. I would do the same 20%. But you know, I like the fact when people tip when they go. Yeah. Because as a bartender, you know, I'm going to sell you a beer for $3, you give me a dollar tip, that's pretty cool. It's like nice.
Starting point is 01:00:49 But what are your relations? You're almost tipping more per transaction in the bar rather than per total. And then they look at you first and they come over to you and they give you better service. Yes. Absolutely. Yes. Absolutely. Here's a good question.
Starting point is 01:01:02 Farm to table. That's a crock of shit, right? Good question. It is. Because most of it isn't farm to table. The spices come out of a jar. Yeah. You know, this comes out of a jar.
Starting point is 01:01:11 I was about to say that. Spices. I'm partners in a distillery in Nevada that is we call ground to glass. But even distilleries that say estate bottling and everything, I'm going to tell you 90% of them are bullshit. They're not growing everything themselves, you know, they're importing other things as ingredients that they don't use. Unfortunately, those terms aren't really defined.
Starting point is 01:01:30 Okay. So you can say them and get away with a lot of gray fringe bullshit on those. Throw this into one of these bars, sky to jug, and we just serve people rain water. Not bad. Not bad. Sky to toilet. Yeah. Not bad.
Starting point is 01:01:47 So then why don't we just serve them grain, alcohol, and rain water, the most pure cocktail you can. Not bad. Not bad. That's pretty good. Yeah. It's actually coming from the earth. Yes.
Starting point is 01:01:57 Yes. We're the sky. You're not going to be the slogan of the bar. We're the sky and the land meat. If you're going to drink rain, alcohol, and rain water, then you don't want that to go down to toilet. Yeah. That's great.
Starting point is 01:02:08 That's great. And we used to do that stuff all the time. Why don't we do more of those? That's awesome. So what we would do is, I used to have to put security guys on the bushes outside. Yeah. Make sure. So if you were the first guy, we'd grab your arm, put them in the ditch.
Starting point is 01:02:16 This is the asshole. And everybody would curse about it. You don't do those anymore. Like, that's great. It's illegal in so many states to do that stuff now. Goddamn. But I'll tell you a great story. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:02:24 You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You don't do those anymore. Like, that's great.
Starting point is 01:02:32 It's illegal in so many states to do that stuff now. Goddamn. But I'll tell you a great story. Years ago, I owned a bar in California. You guys are like this. And they legalized happy hour. And you can't do happy hour there. You can't discount for two hours or three hours.
Starting point is 01:02:44 If you discount, you got to do it all day for 24 hours. So I can't do two for ones or two dollars off or anything like that stuff. They're in happy hour. So I was really pissed off about it. So I called my banker and I ordered $2,002 bills and I folded the $2 bills in half and I used them as coasters during happy hour. And I found that the alcohol authority can't regulate my napkins. You paid full price for that cocktail.
Starting point is 01:03:08 I can use whatever fucking napkin I choose. That's a great idea. So everybody got a $2 bill as a napkin and it took them about eight months to change the law. I love that. And then they changed the law and then I was the end of it. How many laws have you had changed on you? How many effort laws?
Starting point is 01:03:21 Like, you know, like the bird law and NBA and there's all these type of laws. Like a player changes how contracts get made. How many times have this tapper law gone? I'm not certain maybe two or three times. That's great. That is pretty cool. That's a goal. I want to change a law.
Starting point is 01:03:36 I want to change a law. I want to get off a legislature so bad that they can't do this. You should do the significant. You should bring power at that point. The $2 one mile, a long time old idea of mine is counterfeiting $2 bills because no one really knows what they look like anymore. So you could pass those off. That's not really good.
Starting point is 01:03:53 That's not really good. When I was a kid in high school, it's a business idea. It's a business idea. It's a business idea. when i was in junior high school not far from here on long island we had a print shop and i was printing dollar bills so i had the negatives in the print and they're up on the clips and they're
Starting point is 01:04:07 drawing out of the developer and everything and i'm fourteen years old and the teacher walks into the dark room with the red lights and he sees the dollar bills hang over there and he looks at me goes taffy you're an idiot why didn't you do twenty yeah right i realized what a freaking idiot i was you gotta move so much money with the ones you gotta wash all that was any good uh... i mean i would do a bigger than normal i was just screwing around but still yeah um... you hate paper straws too right
Starting point is 01:04:35 uh... no you know i honestly i'm not i think the paper straws are cooler than plastic straws but they didn't like break apart in your mouth depends upon which ones they're three steps what's cool about them is they're multi-color there's a lot of cool things you can do in paper straws that you can in plastic and you see the sea turtles i think i i there's no reason to use a plastic there's good paper ones now there are there's something there are notice yeah
Starting point is 01:04:56 i haven't seen any good paper ones they haven't made their way out easy good paper i saw a good paper one but it was laminated like it was covered with plastic yeah that's why it's so kind of easy no that's that could be that could be a biodegradable coating on those two doesn't necessarily mean it's plastic you could use like a two dollar bills just rolled up as a straw too yeah i've done that before that many times when you do you guys ever have a look at me remember those straws
Starting point is 01:05:18 that have the stripes on them that have the powder in it yeah yeah remember those and you open those and you'd put yes the sugar just straight sugar yeah those are paper straws um so you're mr. vegas i think i'm we're all comfortable calling you mr. vegas now okay are you the biggest dog in town i'm not sure i'm the biggest dog in town i'm pretty well known who's the biggest dog in town who there's a lot of big dogs in less give us a list of dogs steve win that's pretty big dog i used to be here real real big dogs venetian pretty big dog
Starting point is 01:05:46 what about uh david blaine who the who the hell's david blaine i mean he's a magician i don't even know who he is about copperfield what about what they did copper copperfield is it going rick harrison from pawn stars is a player yeah what about the guy who got his uh face eaten by a tiger oh sick freed yeah sick freed or whether a little retired now yeah because the tiger thing but they're still very active in charities and stuff in town you know what's really interesting about vegas is vegas is like a small town it really is and and this circle of
Starting point is 01:06:16 people that you're talking about all know each other and we all hang together and it's a really cool town in this way once you're in you're sort of in in vegas right yeah connected you party with imagine dragons i have yeah good friends of ours yeah the good guys good guys very good guys so but you are you were like one of the faces of the las vegas golden knights in their first year i am picked i was a great great run that you guys had like i was guys really did it all that year didn't you it was amazing i was with jeremy ronick last night i saw that on hl yeah uh with
Starting point is 01:06:43 who's great freaking guy oh yeah he is a great guy are you going to um get season tickets to the raiders yes of course are you gonna get a box no it's just season tickets but i got one for you you're not a big time player nap yeah you're getting a box yeah you gotta get a box are you gonna be a hockey of a hockey guy and a baseball guy that you should get in with mark davis though that guy's that kind of parties dad he's gonna be the new big dog in vegas when he goes out we'll see him look out yep even after labor day yeah are you um big no no anyway the night story was a great story yeah you know initially
Starting point is 01:07:13 they're struggling later we did a good had a good game the other day but we'll see what happens but it was a uh unbelievable experience to live through that season as a fan really freaking special yeah and the town really like kind of rallied around the team which was cool to watch do you think that they're going to have that same attitude towards the raiders even if the so the raiders will probably come to town i mean this is like we're looking to what three years at done the line here yeah next season it's next next season i think they have to decide if they want to play at like unlv or
Starting point is 01:07:40 something yeah we're in the next two years i think the states coming in have you seen the stadium cam no i have not there's a stadium cam you can watch and building it it's unbelievable you know in vegas with one of the only cities in the world that does three shifts a day in construction without overtime so this thing comes up out of the ground it's like four feet a day it's unbelievable right yeah check out the cam it's cool okay yeah that's actually a great way to kill time but do you think the town is going to like rally around the raiders even if they're not that great right
Starting point is 01:08:07 off the bat or i mean that's they were kind of all in on the nights from day one yeah do you see that same thing happening with uh with the raiders or no well there was a dynamic because of the tragedy last year so what happened was you know the relationship between the nights and the fans started before the first game when they went to the hospitals and they dealt with you know all of the victims from the tragedy and then the tragedy created a scenario and you've probably seen some of the documentaries where they felt they had to win because of this really you know i just think that it
Starting point is 01:08:34 created a dynamic that the raiders aren't going to have yeah and you know this city well John Gruden is his own kind of tragedy just like in a football sense it could be yeah but but i just don't think that the connection is going to quite be the same also the raiders have a pre-existing team the nights were new they were sort of a virgin true true true and it was interesting to go through that experience though because when they when they announced the name everybody said that sucks then when they showed us the logo everybody said ah fucking horrible yeah and then when they did chance our lizard oh it's a freaking
Starting point is 01:09:08 worse man everybody said it was now i think the logo is cool as hell yes the name isn't so bad the beginning where where you feel like you're high on ecstasy with the drums and the guys around everywhere i mean that's it's awesome to watch the flaming arrows like flying across the ice those are pretty cool stuff yeah it's awesome it's like one of these things where you look at the jerseys yeah they might not look that great the first time you see them but when you look at the totality of the team and the spectacle it all works together it does and you know the branding you're exactly right and it's very vagus you know the production so
Starting point is 01:09:39 there's a vp a production for the team johnny greco is his name who came from the Bruins who and the cavaliers what who's a great vagus name oh i'm thinking of joey greco yeah johnny greco stab yeah he's a vp a production for the golden nights and he came from the cavaliers and the Bruins so so he created all of that imagery all of that production did an amazing job it's a rain chaser but something interesting happened last year see we couldn't enjoy hockey because of the tragedy so what happened was every game started with something about the tragedy so we could get that out of the way and not feel guilty when we started cheering for
Starting point is 01:10:12 hockey so there was this balance this way they did it that was really freaking cool have you taken a look at any of the designs from the new raiders stadium like the different bars and stuff they're going to be putting in are they going to be doing anything new and weird or is it is it going to be you know like jerry's world again no i think it's pretty i think they're doing some pretty cutting-edge stuff in there actually thanks some really cool experiential things do the other thing where it's like you can pour your own beer i've seen that out of places well no they're not doing that but they're doing the up the up ones where they fill it from the bottom yeah what is that what kind of what kind of sorcery is that so what it is it does it
Starting point is 01:10:42 from the bottom the trick the the bummer of it is is the glasses are expensive oh because it has that valve thing on the bottom but what it does it fills it from the bottom up and it fills the beer in roughly 20 of the time it takes to fill less foam less foam i'm so dumb that every time i saw that i didn't know it was a special glass i was like how is it getting through the glass at the bottom right how is it piercing this classic do the poor you're guessing you had a few beers before you made that the yeah yeah that's my natural state the poor you're the poor yourself uh bars do those do well because i always get annoyed by them yeah we're not allowed to do it in every city so it's very regulated that's the one we have the fob yes yes it's pretty cool but what it
Starting point is 01:11:20 does now is they we do it by the ounce so if you pull a half glass you get charged for a half glass if you pull a full glass you get hard to forget and the problem with it is in most states i can't sell you more than two at once so the way to do it is to say if you put a hundred dollars on it i'll give you 120 dollars worth of beer right that's the way to promote something like that right so i can sell you a hundred bucks at a time you pick up great value you come you use it all the time yep i can only sell you two beers at a time in a lot of states on it because i can only sell two drinks at a time yep so you're still coming back and forth to the bar and it just doesn't make it work yeah what uh what laws or regulations out there are your biggest pet peeves right now that
Starting point is 01:11:58 you would like to see eliminated it isn't eliminated as much as what's coming so right now don't hold me to an exact number right now it is about 670 pieces of legislation relating to the regulation of alcohol and bars right now okay sound like meryl hodge it's scary what happens is in a federal government it's very hard for congressmen or senators to stay up and defend alcohol so what happens is this shit just passes even if it isn't right it passes because nobody will speak up against it so things like uh uh uh uh interconnect systems are scaring the shit out of this what is that that sniffers and cars now it's it's happening in seven countries wait what do you mean sniffers like a breathalyzer yeah it's they're sniffing units that are built into cars
Starting point is 01:12:42 now a lot of drugs that seems like a good thing people that get dui sometimes have to have these installed in cars by court orders 40-year-old what they are is they're sniffers and it sniffs your breath and it knows if you've drank so if you get in the car and the sniffer sees alcohol in your breath you put the key in ignition the car will not start that's good well it's good unless you spilt a drink on your pants and didn't drink at all and you get in your car and your child is sick has to go to the hospital you pour the drink on your leg you haven't been drinking at all very specific well it seems very specific you're at home because your kids crying and you're about to just like drink a glass of whiskey to or maybe like give it a drop of whiskey on its pacifier but
Starting point is 01:13:20 instead you drop it on yourself and then put your home so you can change but now you can't take it to the hospital listen I'm the one that's that's not afraid to stand on the table and defend alcohol yeah what my point is it's only about 80 percent accurate it's a 20 percent of the time that car is not going to start and it's not your fault that's bullshit so so you know it feels like it's save a lot of lives though gonna just throw that out there well let me throw this at you okay about eight or ten percent of veterinarians in the world are freaking crooks okay so you dent the work for dogs that you don't need and all sorts of stuff oh I listen I by chart I swiped that if they're like oh yeah your dog needs this I'm like yep sure about eight or ten percent of all the doctors in
Starting point is 01:13:58 the world are thieves that's why I never go to the doctor about eight or ten percent of the lawyer I'm maybe 20 percent of them are thieves but my point is this eight to ten percent of almost any group are the ones that fuck it up for the other 90 percent this is good and it's the same thing with people who over drink it's about eight or ten percent of the population and they fuck it up for all of us and you know there's a point where there should be accountability on them but it shouldn't hurt you if you're not one of them okay these are good points this whole interconnect technology you know is that kind of a thing I feel like if it's if it is a system truly that is that can get up to you know 95 99 percent or whatever I think I agree with big cat I think
Starting point is 01:14:36 that's probably a good thing yeah I think so too but it's not yeah technology until we get there so what other what other regulations are we going to be looking out for you know there's other things that are going on regulatory wise which relates to hours of operation right to go laws are changing in a number of places California was about to change to four in the morning actually in a good direction but it didn't pass so most of the things happening now relate to your ability to discount okay so it's a bizarre thing if you get a liquor license you sell liquor that's what you do but you're not allowed to incentivize the sale of that liquor any other business if I sell t-shirts I can promote my t-shirts I can incentivize my t-shirt I can discount make
Starting point is 01:15:16 I can't do that in a bar business so I actually think the 4 a.m. is a bad idea I think most I think more places should be like the Chicago law where there's late night bars so you have to make the conscious decision you have to at two o'clock the bar closes and you have to be like okay I want to continue my night because when it stays open till four or five you're basically partying and then you're like shit it's five o'clock I have no idea well you know what happens at that time at about two in the morning they start coming in drunk from the other bars well yeah of course that's why it's fun got him drunk right everyone gets in there together it's fun but the problem is another bar got him drunk and I'm now liable for it yeah so I'm not a big believer of doing that so
Starting point is 01:15:52 I'm with you I think that it should be a special late night license yes and that those people should qualify for that license you have to wait in line be screened when they go in right and also just a nice being like okay I do want to continue my night not like you just all the sudden it's four in the morning you didn't realize how drunk you 90% of the time let me give you an example of something that's fucked up right now there's a phrase in our industry that says don't drink and drive that's a good phrase no it isn't okay no it isn't because you can have a glass of wine and drive true it doesn't mean don't drink and drive the statement should be drink and drive responsibly or don't drink and I can see why that could get confusing though yes so so my point is this the
Starting point is 01:16:27 message drink responsibly and drive drink don't I mean you can have a gin and tonic and drive home don't drink too much and drive drink responsibly if you're going to drive so have one my point is this don't drink and drive is extreme and if people buy into that premise don't drink and drive it can destroy our industry it means you can't have a glass of wine with dinner and drive home so it's this messaging is dangerous sometimes I don't know that that many people out there are like I can't have a single beer and drive when when my daughter was 10 years old if I opened the can of coke in my car she would go nuts on me you can't drink and drive dad right so there are people that actually are conditioned to think that way I just on my point is this that you know it it sometimes
Starting point is 01:17:10 becomes almost a little militant on the industry that's right I understand that yeah we want to protect people you're standing up for us we want to protect people but we don't want to hurt an industry and there's a balance there's a way to do both you know who you should be lobbying for is like the google self-driving cars and I'm sure Elon Musk has something because if we get those humming then go out as loud as you want so I read something written by the the CEO and Mercedes Benz a few weeks ago freaking blew me away he says in 15 years that we're not going to own cars anymore they're all going to be electric vehicles you're going to pick up your phone you're going to uber it or whatever the vehicle will pull up in front of your house it'll be your own vehicle
Starting point is 01:17:47 in the vehicle will be television you'll work you'll do all that and that those changes are going to change the entire world for example people will live farther from the city because the drive won't matter anymore there won't be traffic it'll all be coordinated see I call it 15 years we haven't had hovercrafts yet how the hell are they going to do this what are you talking about I saw a hover motorcycle two days ago no you didn't I did in a video game google it up it's it's on a marketplace there's no there's a hover motorcycle now I'm not talking about the Elon Musk stuff where it's like I got a rocket that goes to mars then it blows up I'm talking real stuff that everyone can have we don't even have hovercrafts how the hell are we going to have that there is a hover
Starting point is 01:18:24 bike so why do you think let me ask you a question why do you think why do you think google is spending all this money for self-driving cars because they want to own our lives and create us make us robots that they can then use for their industry do you think the insurance companies want to have automatically driving cars or do you think they want you to drive it they want automatic well no the insurance they make money off premiums yes so they want to make money off us fucking up yes it is still not not fucking up not paying did not believe I believe the government wants us to have automatic cars I believe the insurance companies want us to have automatic cars and I believe that the companies like uber google apple all of this pressure is to take the steering
Starting point is 01:19:06 wheel away from us I think that's probably going to happen eventually 15 years sounds like but why would insurance yes because we wouldn't we wouldn't need insurance if everything was automatically right check it thing that he wrote because it's really pretty powerful but what he suggests is auto the auto insurance disappears the auto repair industry disappears guess that's not good disappear that's not good I mean is how am I going to have the mechanic who rips me off like he's got to he's got to feed his family then people said that about computers 25 years ago that's true well 15 15 years sounds a little extreme yeah that's what that's what they're claiming okay well maybe for people that like you know for Mercedes Benz maybe they'll be the ones
Starting point is 01:19:40 that are in I don't know if he's right or wrong but it's an interesting premise yeah I like it it's a little Jetsons if you will yes absolutely all right my last question seat geek question put in promo code take you get ten dollars off your seat geek purchase if you want to go to a Vegas night's game yeah maybe see john taffer there I will be there almost every time uh put in promo code take you get ten dollars off your seat geek purchase I noticed that you dodged a question earlier what question uh will we get to use your private jet when we come on bar rescue this year you know guys you cornered me but you know I love you yeah you know that and we're really buddies but there's love and then there's you can use my private jet love you can use my jet with me
Starting point is 01:20:18 okay okay that's I would never leave him alone no I know I'd be like yeah hey here's a note chapter said I could fly it'd be a blast if we flew it out together did the episode absolutely take advantage of that you're allowed to sit in the cockpit and for your listeners and I think we should reiterate do you have ice cream on it that you okay I'm on it yeah ice cream so I think we should reiterate that I did lose the bet last year yes you lost the BFT you lost the bet and that I honored it gave you all the respect you did absolutely you were very gracious and we're gonna do a show and you are gonna get your cocktails named after you yep okay and I added the recon in an episode yep and we just added the jet so I am a man of my word we're all contributing to this yeah you just
Starting point is 01:20:55 added the jet it's every minute I'm getting hurt even more yeah and I believe you said something earlier about like a co-producer credit on the episode which is fine so we get the royalties so we get a check like the friends check we get that every month every time it airs I just work for you that week that works yeah that's fine that works that works it told you but 10% off the future earnings of the bar yeah we told you it's been a long football season I hear you buddy yeah um all right John taffer thank you as always I love you guys appreciate it love you too love you love you that's the first time anyone said that to us first I love you guys I love you I always feel like I'm with family yeah absolutely we gave a hug we love working together long six years six yeah six
Starting point is 01:21:32 years yeah I think we did the first bar rescue in like yeah 2013 so you didn't have one gray hair when I met you look he's got a couple of sides I died I died here I died ahead is it happening down below this is over I'll show you later because I'm guessing the more he loses in football the grayer his pubes are turning yes that goes away first yeah that interview with John taffer was brought to you by movement now it's time to move on to our all favorite underdog success story it's movement watches founded on the belief that styles should not break the bank they've sold nearly two million watches worldwide by bringing quality designs at fair prices with movements versatile line of watches glasses and accessories you'll be sure to find the perfect holiday gift this
Starting point is 01:22:19 season they actually send us a bunch of their new watches I don't know if you saw those big cap but basically all my holiday shopping for dudes is done now I've got like six watches that I'm sending out they're great you can pick a style or a design that you personally like and would wear and chat about if you need more details let us know but my new favorite one is their first ever automatic watch it's the arc automatic it is sweet their watches are all about looking good while keeping it simple they don't tell you how many steps you've taken they don't blow up your wrist with text messages they're not overly intrusive on life with notifications text emails etc they tell time like true classic timepieces should and they look good doing it they're a crowdfunded startup they
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Starting point is 01:23:39 and you can get 25 off today during movements black friday cyber monday sale with free shipping and free returns hit big cat cyber monday yes age sex location asl pic uh 33 male new york i'm gonna run through the translator 18 female wherever you are yes pic yes within five blocks but you're actually just a dude and i'm a dude and we just pretend to be girls online movements launching new styles on their site all the time check out their latest at mvmt.com that's mvmt.com slash pardon and join the movement today john taffer was also brought to you guys by burst e-liquids as you guys know we're big vape guys and we thought you should hear the message our friends over burst e-liquids has for you our award-winning listeners we're talking to the athlete who stopped going
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Starting point is 01:25:49 that's promo code PMT to get 25 off plus free shipping on your order from burst e-liquids okay let's get to some segments uh first we're going to do our football guy of the week let's power through this uh vote at pardon my take we put it up every week we try to get our football guy of the week on the show the first one we have is football gal actually tom herman's wife so after texas beat iowa state and i don't know 10 of the country could watch it because it was on the longhorn network uh there was a picture of tom herman's wife walking off the field with tom herman and an ok cool ok cool hook them shirt so that is as ride or die as you get she was basically told about infidelities and how her husband allegedly cheated on her loves rubbing
Starting point is 01:26:38 tug all this stuff and her answer i'm just gonna put his hat his slogan on a shirt and be like whatever fuck it okay cool hook him yeah it was it was awesome it was cool to see that i don't know i'm not going to pretend to know what goes on behind the scenes between tom herman and his wife my guess is knowing how tom herman acts just in general he's probably kind of a dick all the time yep and uh her finding out that he was getting uh alleged hand jobs is probably the most normal laid-back thing that tom herman does yes so she's like this is actually a step in the right direction for her marriage i mean he kisses all his players she probably is like you know what you can kiss anyone we have an open kissing policy and if they want to kiss your dick you can do that
Starting point is 01:27:17 too there you go yeah uh we have uh jim ross jr he got i what happened to him he fell what happened to his face he looked like the terminator yeah he looked like he went hunting with dick janey yeah he got he fell on his face and he basically treated out hey guys took a bad bump last night but i'll still be at the oklahoma game i mean he looks like death and he was like you know what oklahoma football is calling even though it's against kansas i don't care i'll be there listen if you're gonna get road rash on your face the best week to do it is actually the week of halloween because then you can just pretend that's part of your costume yeah you also go look at your harvey dent yeah exactly you're going as two faces for halloween again um we have a very serious one
Starting point is 01:28:00 joshua paschal who is a kentucky player beat cancer came back four star recruit beat cancer came back played for kentucky on saturday awesome story i think he had a few tackles as well finally a deserved kentucky football player yes no no no this fake you know hey i spell my name with a k even though it's really ch s h whatever um and then we have david fissdale who coach of the new york next yes he is the coach of the new york next how many people you think in new york if you asked him that would get that right uh michael raptor half maybe half uh james dolin probably doesn't know yeah no no chance he's too busy jamming he brought an axe to the locker room to motivate the guys yeah worked out well in jacksonville remember that when when jack del Rio
Starting point is 01:28:47 there's no way that nba players respond to this type of shit well you're right they don't but there's also a good chance that if you have a really shitty team and you bring an axe to your locker room one of them will use it to hurt another player on the team right and then you have a built any excuse of why you're bad that's true and knowing what james dolin has allowed by some of his employees he's probably like that's fine was it an axe or was it one of james dolin's guitars yeah we're like hey bring shred you guys you want to take my axe into the locker room there's one of his kazooz actually yeah a little fucking weirdo um all right so vote for our football guy of the week at pardon my take we'll put it up around noon vote and we'll try to get the person on i don't
Starting point is 01:29:25 i don't know we might have a chance at getting jim ross maybe yeah he's been on the show before tom herman's wife yeah that would be awesome listen yeah if she wants to come in studio that's great that'd be awesome perfect okay cool hooking um all right so we have a thoughts and prayers for urban mire urban mire is not well well wait no wait hold on to maryland they won no no he's really not well wait oh i'll stay one but no it's a two-point conversion are they gonna win oh oh they didn't get it oh no he's good okay sorry he's back urban mire on saturday afternoon was maybe the most fun i've had watching a football game where where i don't have any rooting interest i didn't even bet i didn't even have the game and actually no i said excuse me i
Starting point is 01:30:11 had the over but it hit so i wasn't even worried about it anymore urban mire every single time maryland scored he looked like he was gonna pass out he was doing the most dramatic things on the sidelines going to his knees and like throwing his headset and looking like he was deathly ill and then ohio state would come down the field score and he'd have his hands up and be like i'm back i'm good and this is like if you don't think urban mire is going to get the shit kicked out of him by jim harbaugh and then immediately go to the hospital you don't know urban mire if they had lost this game he was just going to check himself in if they went down by double digits like later on in the game after they came back he was going to have a guy with an iv stand just wheeling it
Starting point is 01:30:53 around behind him on the sidelines just like hooked into his arm it wasn't even going to have anything in it but yeah he was he was being real dramatic he was like bending over grabbing his every time something bad happened he would like reach up and touch his his brain yeah like he's oh my god my brain is cramping up and listen there there might be something wrong with him no but but if if there's something that that that's that bad that's wrong with you what are you doing stay on the sidelines coaching no there is something wrong with him maryland just scored again oh shit uh no i shout out to the to the few there's not many most ohio state fans know exactly what's going on they're like urban is this is urban he's gonna act crazy and do this shit but like i just like ohio state
Starting point is 01:31:34 i like to follow and i respect those fans i got nothing against those fans but the few in the proud out there who tried to be like oh so now you're health shaming i love you you're so crazy i love you like the fact that you think urban mire when he when he goes to a knee and and pretends that he's about to pass out and it just so happened to happen 10 seconds after maryland scored a touchdown and you think that i'm in the wrong for health shaming i love you we've all had those friends that that during a sporting event that they're playing in maybe uh they get burned deep or something bad happens to him and then they're like oh i got a puke and then they go and they they just like keel over and they just dry heave right and they don't actually throw anything up
Starting point is 01:32:14 that's urban mire that's what he's doing right he's like i feel bad this can't be my fault that i feel bad if he could stop the game for his own health benefits he would he would absolutely would stop the game like call time out but it's not a time out it's just a time out outside of the game being like jim harbaugh please stop beating me all my all my brain hurts yeah so like the joe paterno thing when he ran across the field to go take a shit well he actually did when he crapped his pants yeah he was flushed out i'm not going to believe that his health scares are actual scares until he craps himself on the sideline okay and then that that'll do to me you might do it when when when he's losing to michigan there's it's going to be some theater
Starting point is 01:32:52 yeah well you know that's how ted newton got out of the draft in vietnam right what just crapped himself yeah he just didn't shower for like two weeks and crapped himself so that he could convince the the draft people that he was crazy yeah so if urban mire actually craps himself i'm i'm buying it ted newton we don't need you to crap yourselves and for us to know that you're crazy man like you just you're ted newton yeah i've heard i've heard yourself you're crazy uh okay we have a not to brag what we called it less miles is your new kansas j hawks football coach wow flight tracking paid off for his big mark man genie era bring it up they're coming back the orange bowl yeah they're well yeah orange bowl once in like the next seven years and that'll be that'll be a
Starting point is 01:33:32 huge win um their ad was like trolling us specifically did you hear what he said no he was like i put out a couple fake plate uh flight plans just to throw people off the set but it turns out that his fake flight plans were from lorence to baton rouge repeatedly so it's like okay and also no one really cares that much about kansas football yeah he had us yeah i'm i'm worried for less miles i don't know if it's a good fit as numerous people on twitter pointed out um they don't have a grass field there so he's just going to be like picking up the little field turf pellets and just like toss him in his mouth like it's long cut that's okay i'm excited because less miles less miles is college football like we need him in college football the less miles everyone knows less
Starting point is 01:34:13 miles about do a trick play and like the whole world sees it coming and somehow it still works is my favorite part of a saturday afternoon and it's gonna be even better when he does like a fake field goal to get a first down when they're down 42 to 10 to like oklahoma state less miles his clock management is like andy reid if andy was the luckiest person on earth he's the best and he just gets it like he'll pull a couple wins out of his out of his hat that will just be like how the hell does this happen and then he'll lose a few games or like that team should have won although i don't know if kansas should win any no but it's all going to be icing on the cake it's actually great landing spot yeah because he gets to be as weird as he wants to be and nobody really care
Starting point is 01:34:53 the great part about less miles too on the sideline how jason garrett just claps all the time when less miles claps he does the weird clap where only like his uh the like top of his wrist touches right here's the sound of the less miles clap on the sideline ready yeah that's it you know that's not go faster go faster go faster oh you're in the wall we have a little monday reading a real quick this is this is something else i don't even really know how to explain this so we're just going to read the article we'll start from the top uh dart darts caller rust bray thrust under the fart gate scandal cloud that's a nice headline that's a great headline a new suspect has been added to fart gate the scandal engulfing the darts world
Starting point is 01:35:40 as a search for who dealt it intensifies so this is you're going to figure it out pretty quickly but there is a scandal in the dart world of a guy who's apparently farting during competition fucking up his you know the the competition i thought that was expected yeah yeah yeah exactly so here he goes the players at the center of darts latest fart gate scandal both claim to have smelt it but neither wants to admit to having dealt it as a third figure looms wait hold okay so there's a mystery guy i want to back up to one of the first lines he said the latest fart scandal in the dart community oh it's the thing they're they're more they're multiple two time world champion gary anderson and his 34 year old dutch opponent wezzly harms were playing for a quarter final
Starting point is 01:36:24 spot at the grand slam of darts on friday with the 47 year old scott blowing away his younger opponent ten two i think i know what that is but it was the rotten egg smells at the oak what's o c h e or throwing line that we're making noise after the match and have since rocked the sport so this is a legit like fart gate fart scandal in darts uh-huh um in a post match tv interview harms 34 claim to scottish rival was responsible for breaking wind on stage but anderson hit back suggesting it was harms who left the unpleasant smell so they're basically just say he said you farted no you farted yeah did you fart i'm going with it i'm inclined to believe that the scottish person probably farted yes they eat oh god they eat haggis right that's a lot of cheese right
Starting point is 01:37:12 haggis is basically just already farts okay you're eating another animal's farts when you eat farts you fart yeah that's that's gotta go somewhere now pdc chairman barry herne has weighed in even hitting a third party might be responsible for the offensive odors we've got to get to the bottom of this this is there was a second shooter this is awesome that this is a real thing i guess people wonder of blowing off might constitute advanced gamesmanship then again caller russo rus bray was just about within farting distance so i guess the guy who was calling the match was within the zone of farting of like the radius of the stink glass okay something doesn't smell right there's nothing worse than a silent fart this could run and run bray has called darts for
Starting point is 01:37:55 22 years and is categorically denied dropping the bombshell by the way i'm looking at the scott the scotsman that's definitely a farter he's got a big gold necklace and like six chins oh yeah not to shame or anything no but that's that that is a look of a man that'll blow a big iron biscuit right in your nose yeah anderson was strong in his denials when put under the spotlight by harms it definitely came from table side and it was eggs rotten eggs but not for me every time i walk past there there was a waft of rotten eggs so that's why i was thinking it was him it definitely wasn't me i thought he had shit himself and i went that's dirty it was bad it was a stink then he started to play better and i thought he must have needed to get some wind out that's actually
Starting point is 01:38:35 this guy's getting a little little too accusatory yeah he's very specific yeah so it goes on and on and essentially this oh and here's the other guy that guy's not a farter skinny guy he could he could be if he's a vegan because those vegans eat a lot of beans either way i think this this absolutely is a huge benefit like if you're farting in someone's face and then they're trying to walk up to a line and throw precise darts if you know exactly where they're going to be standing yeah but then we have to dig in a little bit to the letter of the law is this against the rules i think so i think the commissioner basically said it is you have to so it's it's illegal like yes it's unsporting right but can't willingly fart in someone's radius when they're
Starting point is 01:39:19 trying to throw darts it sounds like an unwritten rule yeah the darts community do you get to do like in darts do you get to throw like a brush back pitch at somebody like come close to them with a dart just like send a message that would be good either way this is now like the fact that there's actually a fart gate i thought we we were almost done with gates like everything became a gate it was too much fart gate place fart gate 100 place yeah so we'll have to we'll have to monitor it and by monitoring i mean someone treat us when this gets resolved and we'll we'll update maybe not even it seems like it's an unsolvable mystery though because just knowing my general impressions of the dart community they're all they're all just stinky guys they're just they smelly guys they
Starting point is 01:40:00 they've chosen a game that is played in bars yeah like they they chose a game that you drink you drink stale beer and rotten peanuts and sit there and fart so yeah it's kind of it's kind of on you yeah and is there any other sport that you could use farting as an advantage like this like maybe maybe a catcher in baseball yeah catcher in baseball for sure joe west definitely farts yes a lot back yes absolutely i think uh i don't know that's probably it right probably yeah catcher in baseball i mean i know if you think that bill parcels hasn't farted on a ref yes then you don't know football that that guy's a farder you can do it maybe in like a corner kick set piece if you watch soccer it's called the set piece but maybe a corner kick that would that would
Starting point is 01:40:43 that would harm some people so but either way fart gate i'm in on it we need to if if anyone if either of these guys if anyone knows these guys if anyone knows the farters hit us up we'll have one of the fart gate guys on on this show 100 i would absolutely love to talk to them yeah oh if you're a golfer a golfer like on a t-box that would be a great place i love to fart in people's backswings beef beef johnson is that the guy's name yeah beef johnson definitely farts 100 um okay that is our show when we see you on wednesday we will have a bonus extra long show for thanksgiving for those of you that have to work on friday we'll have picks we'll have a couple interviews get ready for it and uh i don't know just get drunk for the rest of the week because
Starting point is 01:41:27 this is not even a real week this is the fakest week of the year it is big time fake week uh wednesday night biggest bar night of the year yeah be careful out there that's but amateur hour if you're really drunk it is be careful if you're a real alcoholic he's amateur if you yeah if you're an alcoholic with a half a liver sure what's the point i'm gonna sell my couch and just skull bottle jack jay was like a real man yeah exactly i love you guys take me it's part of my take presented by bar stool sports

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