Pardon My Take - Luke Bryan, Woj Suspended, And Soup Tube Is The Greatest Invention Ever

Episode Date: July 13, 2020

Woj suspended and the internet sucks beyond belief (2:18 - 12:20). Bubble Trouble in Orlando as the first groupie has been invited and Ben Simmons cant even hit the ocean with a fish (12:20 - 22:29). UFC Fight Island recap and who's back of the week and the world may be made of Cake (22:29 - 36:39). Country Music star Luke Bryan joins the show to talk about his new album, how he names songs, college football, and country music (36:39 - 70:05). Segments include way to stay relevant golf, drunk idea and monday reading, soup tube.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have Luke Bryan, first country music guest, first country music guest. I believe so. First country music guest on the show, we're breaking some barriers. Recorded that song with Walker Wheeler.

That's true. We did record that song. And that's not, he's a parody of a country, you know, this is a real bona fide country music star. So first, for everything, very fun interview, dude just knows how to name songs, straight up. We have Woj, free Woj, hashtag free Woj trending, Woj got suspended. We have Bubble Trouble, Who's Back of the Week, and a Monday reading, and it's brought

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Okay, let's go. Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence and then a lot of stuff will be done. No place to hang alone, washing and then I can't live all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna run down to electric revenue and then we're taking higher. Oh, we're gonna run down to electric revenue and then we're taking higher. It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports.

Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App, go download it right now, use code barstool, you get $10 for free, $10 for ASPCA. Today is Monday, July 13th. I don't find, this woach thing is so fucking annoying. Yeah, so he's suspended and what's interesting is how do you suspend a guy whose job it is to just spread information? Is he not allowed? Is woach, is he muzzled?

Can he not tell us? No, he can't tweet. He's not allowed on Twitter? Well, I'm pretty sure that's part of the suspension. I assume it's a Bobby Bowden, old school Bobby Bowden first quarter suspension, like let's let our star quarterback, he can't play for the first drive against Furman in September. That's kind of suspension. Woach didn't get suspended by ESPN.

He went to ESPN, he's like, here's how long I will allow you to spend me. I'll put it this way. If we enter like week two in the bubble and Dwight Howard's Anaconda kills him in his sleep, is Woach allowed to tweet that out? And the morning artist, he has to sit on it and wait for Ari Abraham to steal it from him. I think he's going to be suspended for like two days. I'm going to be back in two days. Listen, you can't stop a bird from singing.

You can't stop a rattlesnake from rattling. You can't stop woach from dropping woach bombs. It's the worst type of element of like the Internet where everyone just yelling at each other. And no one actually cares about any of this shit, but they're all grandstanding to care about it. So it's like, what about China? And then and then also being like, well, woach should be suspended. But I the whole thing sucks. I don't know.

He just said, fuck you. He should have said, fuck you. That was a dumb thing to do. It was a hilarious thing to do. He was hilarious, but he was cool. Saying fuck you in an email is a hilarious thing to do. He was getting trolled and he let himself get trolled. It showed that his skin is a little bit too thin.

He got trolled. So it would have been one thing if he replied fuck you to any congressman or senator that sent him like a direct question. That's always hilarious to cuss out a senator. I think we can all agree on that. Regardless of the party, I know that Hank wouldn't cuss. Would you cuss at AOC? Sure. Which one?

The senator or the congressperson. The one at DePaul? Is he at DePaul? Creighton. Creighton. Yeah, that's right. But what I'm saying is no to either. No to either.

Good take. So you could respond. You could cuss directly. If you have the initials of AOC, I'll ride or die with you. There you go. You could reply to any email directly sent to you by saying fuck you and saying fuck you to people is always cool. Right. But when you reply to like a chain PR email that got sent to like 500 other people on the listserv with a fuck you.

That's just bad email management. Well, but Woj is an idiot for getting trolled. But also the fucking rat snitch being like look what Woj said to me. That's also lame. That's also a fucking lame ass move by that. The reality is everybody in the world, or at least in the United States right now is a huge fucking hypocrite. And they're all narks and they're losers. Because you know what I'm typing on right now?

I'm typing on a computer. I'm typing on a phone that was probably assembled in communist China. In one of those buildings that they have to put nets on the outside to prevent people from jumping off to their death. It sucks. It's just like that's the environment that we're in. And right now verbal meme NBA on TNT. They're doing the Jordan Peele sweat thing. All the sweats pointing down because they're like I hope nobody asks us about China.

Well, and also the weird part about this is not I could kind of understand if you want to be like LeBron. Maybe a little bit of a hypocrite for like completely shutting down the like let's not talk about China. We make a lot of money. Woj doesn't talk about politics. He just reports the news. In fact, Woj smashed that like button on Darryl Morey's tweet. That's like eight months ago. You remember that when Darryl Morey was one that brought us all to light?

Yes. Woj smashed the like button on that indicating that he was supporting what Darryl Morey was saying. So like, yeah, Woj probably should not have replied to this email with fuck you. Probably felt good though. It probably felt good in the moment that he sent it because it's always good to tell somebody to fuck off. But now he's just, I guess, Shams is just taking over the world. Yeah, I will offer. I think Shepter is going to sneak in here too because the ESPN like it's probably,

Shepter probably called up Jimmy Petaro was like, hey, heard Woj suspension. I'm ready. No, this is Ari's time to shine. Ari Abraham. I know you've been laying low for the last year. Now's your time buddy. I'm also willing to donate Leroy's account to Woj if you need a burner Woj. You can break news under Leroy's account.

I got no problem with that. I think he's going to be suspended for like 24 hours. He's going to be back breaking news on Tuesday. Well, how can you suspend a person who's just like reporting news? Right. It's the whole thing. And now people are just replying to everyone being like, well, what about this? Shut the fuck up.

Everyone's a fucking dork. Right. Everyone's a dork. You don't actually care about this shit. No one cares about any of it. Yes. No one cares. It is the worst type of internet.

Everyone's trying to win an argument and like run up the score on each other and no one actually cares about what they're arguing. They just want points. Right. You want points. You don't give a shit about the Muslims in China. Dude. Like you should care about them.

People should care. In fact, I would say like a senator should care about them. But most people that are getting mad about this don't actually give a shit about that. They're all dorks and there's a new level of internet that I've seen pop up recently that is really pissing me off. It's the solution to every issue is just start a Patreon or a subscription list. Some guy was like, if Wode's got 1% of his followers to sign up for an email list, he would have 30,000 people and all paying $5 a month would be like $1.8 million.

Like, dude, do you know that there's more to it than just being like, let me break news to fucking 20,000 people via an email list serve? Right. There's more involved than just like when shit goes wrong being like, you know what, let's do a subscription service. I do like the idea though of Wode's becoming a business like Bloomberg terminals and just like installing Wode's terminals at every sports media company in the world where like you pay $50 a month to get one terminal where one person can log in and see what the news

is and then you're allowed to break it with credit to Wode. Everyone's brain is broken now by Patreon putting the actual amount of money that you make every month. Yeah. They just log on to Patreon. They're like, that guy's making $15,000 a month. What? And not even counting any of the overhead, any of the costs, taxes, Patreon fee, anything.

They're just like, damn, dude, it's the like email list serves are literally the future. Yeah. So Billy, would you like to apologize to President Xi of China because you've been going after them a lot. We don't want to get in trouble on this show. A lot of our listeners are in China. We disavowed China a while ago. We did.

I'm staying disavowing on China. Here's what we did was we took the we took the South China Sea back from China. Mm hmm. One part of my take. Yeah. I'm just curious, like you, I don't want you to get canceled, Billy. I hate Xi Jinping. Okay.

Nice. Fuck Xi Jinping. Okay. We were going to Billy talk for the first 20 minutes. Billy. Okay. We agree with your sentiment, but you can't use that type of language. So we're going to need you to write an apology letter to Xi Jinping.

Yeah. Yep. Or else you're suspended from doing whatever it is. Either way, we just sports. Yeah, whatever. Fuck the blog. We're cooking us hot dogs sometimes. We just need sports back.

We do. People are just running around just being losers all day on the Internet. So speaking of losers on the Internet, there was like a big open letter gate last week. Oh my God. I loved it. I loved every second of it. This is maybe my, the thing I hate the most about the Internet, but like I can't stop looking at, is people getting mad at the most inconsequential shit.

So on like Monday or Tuesday of last week, there were a bunch of people that signed an open letter. First of all, open letters are, if you sit down and you write an open letter, I don't ever want to talk to you. I just, I assume that in between writing your open letter, you are just farting into your cupped hand and sniffing it all day long. Yeah. So the Internet got open lettered actually.

So in Harper's, I don't, first of all, I don't give a shit what Harper, I don't know what Harper's is, but there was an open letter saying like, you have to go to Harper's. You have to go to an Ivy League school to know what that is. There was an open letter saying, we should not discourage open conversation in this country, which I'm sure everyone is on board with that, right? And then you had like three days nonstop of people getting mad about the letter in Harper's and people like going at Harper's and trying to cancel Harper's. It's like, nobody gives a shit about Harper's.

If you, if you don't work in New York media, you don't give a fuck about Harper's. I don't even know what it is. I still don't know what Harper's is and I care less about it now than I did last week. And then you had the people that wrote the open letter getting mad and then writing another open letter. Then there was a counter open letter. Yes. Open letter off.

It was an open letter off. And I just have a theory that everybody involved in this field is going to die 20 years prematurely because they stay so mad. Yeah. And so online. Right up in their neck. My favorite part about the response letter was a bunch of people signed it but redacted their signature, which is just the exact opposite of what a signature is.

Yeah. You know what the first open letter was? The Declaration of Independence and John Hancock put his name front and center on that. You should have redacted that shit. On his festival of ideas. Actually, he should have. He did get canceled. They should have all redacted it.

Well, they all got canceled. Yeah. Right. I think if you look at the stats of the people that signed the declaration, I think 90% of them got permanently canceled by King George. I mean, may I just add, when will Roger Goodell disavow England and their tyrannical approach to Northern Ireland and England oversaw Hong Kong for a long time? Also true.

My people in Hong Kong, my protesters. Also true. Yes. We should. So let's, we're done being mad at the internet. The internet's stupid. No, Billy. You can't talk for 20 minutes.

Let's talk about something funnier. Ben Simmons literally can't throw a fish into the ocean. I don't know if it was an ocean, more like a pond, but this, if you miss this clip, Ben Simmons caught a fish down in Epcot and tried to throw it back and he missed the water. He hit the ground. He hit the deck. He hit the deck. Now it banked in though.

It did bank. Thanks for opening. How he doesn't say like, yo, let's reshoot that real quick. Like we can't, we can't put that one out. But that was incredible. We also bubble trouble. We have the first, um, account of someone saying, I've been invited to the bubble. So a female tweeted out that she's already been invited to the bubble.

Do we know, do we not want to say her name or is it somebody that we know already? No. Okay. Don't worry about that. No. She's, I mean, it's just a Twitter account and her pinned tweet. Oh, hold on. Let me play her pin tweet.

It's actually, uh, you, it's very funny and the reason why she got invited to the bubble. Let's just say it might not have been because she's wants to like talk about the issues in China. Her name's at ugly Anna, a gamer tag. She's snacking. This is her. This is her pin tweet. I am.

Believe I used to wear dresses. Click it. How. That is stupid. My ass. She's showing her ass being like a stupid bat. My ass. So she has been, she's officially been invited in.

She said that. Yes. So yeah. A quarantine. She's going to be quarantined for like three months with it, with everyone. I guess so. She should just be one woman invited. Whoa.

What are you asking? No, I'm just saying we're getting in weird terms. I'm saying like one, one single woman invited happens to that one. No, just all the guys would, all the guys would actually compete against each other in today's NBA where you're too used to everyone teaming up and being best friends. Yeah. They'd start to play defense again. 20 minutes haven't been out.

No, it'd be good for competition. The, so yeah. The bubble trouble. We're in bubble trouble. I don't know. I'm feeling somewhat optimistic that things are going to work out. I don't know. It's also interesting seeing the players for the first time really experienced the quarantine

like most of America experienced it because most of these players, they've got, you know, these huge houses or nice facilities to go work out and all that stuff. They were never really confined to their living rooms like a lot of America was. Now they're in this bubble and they're in these hotel rooms and they are getting their first taste of it and they're experiencing it exactly like we did. Like I saw one player being like, Hey, if this tweet gets 50,000 retweets, I'll shotgun a beer on live stream. That was JJ Redick.

Yeah. Yeah. It was JJ. So like that's exactly what we all went through. Right. For that first week. They're going to be like loving zoom meetings. I also am very excited for the journalists who have now gone into quarantine being like

pray for me. I have to be sitting in my, this room for seven, seven days straight. What are you doing? Stop. I would go if I was asked to the bubble. Do you think that'd be good for ratings to have just me as a bubble correspondent in there for like. No, it would.

Three months. Yeah. Three months. It's kind of fun. No. Three months. It would suck. One woman only.

What's your name? Ugly. It would be fine. I think the players can do. I think the players are going to be able to do whatever they want. I think the journalists are going. Yeah. Yeah.

We're talking about going as journalists, not as players. Yes. Let me take that back, Hank. I would definitely go as a player. I would go play in the NBA if allowed. We're talking about being as journalists. I think that I think they're going to be very strict with them. Yeah.

I think that for me, like after maybe a month and a half, I start to look pretty good to a lot of the players. Yeah. Mark Stein's tweet was like depressing. He said after an even 120 nights in a row at home, personal record, seven consecutive days in quarantine without leaving the room starts later this evening. Yes. That's the thing.

Yeah. So pray for our journalist friends who are seven days in a row who are then going to get all the interviews and all the podcasts down now. So shut the fuck up. I've also heard that Paul Mills up to he doesn't have a window in his room. Oh my God. Really? Wait.

That's illegal. Yeah. Fire hazard. You can't have a bedroom with no window. Not to code. I lived in a bedroom with no window. It's called a closet. It was illegal.

Yeah. I remember that cribs you did. Well, it's Florida. Who knows? That's going to fuck with his circadian rhythms. He's not going to know when it's morning. Don't mess up. You better get a sun lamp.

Pronto. It is funny that all the journalists are like, man, this is going to be so tough. And they then get every single story for the next three months. It's going to be nice. For a league they cover. It's going to be a nice job. If you had like young kids at home and somebody was like, hey, would you like to go live in Orlando for three months away from your young children?

And you're like, oh yeah, it's going to be tough. Sorry, babe. I got to go. Work calls three months away. Have to go sit in this hotel room and hang up on the pool. Every single day. All right. So we had that.

We have UFC Fight Island thoughts seem pretty good. Here are my things. Stunk. Here's my fight. It's a Mayweather fight. Usman's fucking Mayweather. We're just boring. Here's my any stumps.

He's probably got robbed. How we did get robbed. My entire thoughts on the evening are fuck ESPN plus. It's the worst app in the history of the world. Every time there's a fight. This is what happens every single time I buy it on my phone. Doesn't work on my phone. I try to log in on my computer.

Doesn't work on my computer. I try to log back in on my computer and I told you I have to buy it again on my computer. What did I say? Now I've got two receipts in my emails for purchasing this fucking fight. Then I log back into my phone. Still doesn't work. Then I get it on my computer. Then I'm finally able to put it on airplay.

Why don't you just log in on the same account everywhere? I do. It's the same account. Why don't you just log in on your TV? Because it's not on my TV. You don't have a smart TV? I do have a smart TV but I'm dumb. You definitely have it on your TV.

No I don't. It's an LG. There's no app for ESPN plus on my TV. ESPN app. ESPN app. There's no app for ESPN on my TV. Yes there is. There's 100% an app.

If you watch Netflix and Amazon Prime you have an app for ESPN on your TV. Every time there's a fight it takes me 45 minutes and I end up buying it twice. Listen I'm with you. I'm the one who initially was like just give me a button old school pay-per-view but there's an app for ESPN on your TV. I don't think that there is. Because I've looked high and low. Do you watch Amazon Prime?

I watch Amazon Prime. Do you watch Netflix? Yes. Do you watch Hulu? Yes. There's absolutely an app for ESPN on your TV. I haven't found it yet. You can download it.

I deleted it after Wode replied fuck you to the senator. I thought that was highly inappropriate so I'm not supporting them anymore. Yeah Fight Island. I mean it was good to talk about sports. The title fight did suck. Also I'm all for like guys punching each other in the face but that all though I had to look away. Yeah that fight was disgusting.

Yeah and then he just popped up was like he looked fine. It was probably a minute. The fight was stopped. The camera angle too was brutal in his face just watching him like die. They could have stopped that fight a minute earlier and it still would have been 30 seconds too late. Oozman though foot stomping. I mean that's just.

That should be illegal. It should be. It's more like just a pride thing dude. Beat someone without stomping their toes in. Right. It seems like annoying. Stub your toes to death. Like they outlawed the fish hook for the same reason it just sucks to have it done.

It also felt it did feel like a Mayweather fight where you're watching and you're rooting for Mazerdoll and you're like oh if you can just catch him once and just never happened because Oozman's just a beast and was able to just wear him down. So I don't know. The end I think UFC's like the way it's different than a Mayweather fight or a big boxing review is the undercard is always going to be worth it. There will always be some big fights but it does always suck being awake at like two in the morning and having the big title fight suck and you're just like well okay.

And then a bunch of people tweeting you like dude I can't believe you spent money on that. Yeah. I always can't figure out how to stream shit illegally and also we want to support our friend or stream shit legally. They should have Oozman and Khabib fight and McGregor and Mazerdoll fight. Yes. That would be awesome. Yeah.

I hate it when they match up a grappler with a boxer. Yeah but at least Khabib when he grapples someone he like he just basically terminates them. Yes. He doesn't just he doesn't grapple him to wear him down. He's like I'm going to tap you out and fuck you up. I'm going to put my shoulder through your face. Right.

Like lay on top. I'm going to break every bone in your body. Shout out Thug Rose. Yes. What a fucking cool name that is. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. If your name was Thug is there any chance that you would not go by Thug?

If your name was Thug? Yeah she goes I would go by Thug Rose not just Rose. Wait if your name was say it again. Thug Rose. Yeah. Her name's Rose. She needs to imply more heavily that her name is Thug. Right.

Wait but her name's Rose. I think her name's Thug Rose. No her name's Rose. I thought her name was Thug Rose. No her name's Rose and Thug is her nickname. Thug Rose is her nickname. That makes a lot more sense. I was like I was like her name's P.F.T.

This is this is a very like you're talking my dad lasts like five minutes. The point is Thug girl is pretty cool. The point is I couldn't download it but man. And then the sound cut out on on the fucking live stream. And then every three minutes it would revert back to the minimal size video and I have to get up walk across the room and hit the full screen button again. I was this person named Thug. I know what I'm going to name my daughter now.

Actually no we don't say the T word anymore. Yeah Posse Rose. No P word. No you don't say P word either. We say entourage Rose. I wasn't trying to say Thugs I was trying to say like. Oh Slug Rose. Slug Rose.

Yeah. Slug Rose. Yeah John Bayline. Yeah Slug Rose. She's acting like a slug out there. All right let's do let's do who's back of the week before we do that P.F.T. You have an ad real quick. I do.

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That's the number 3 CHI.com. Okay let's do who's back the week Hank why don't you start? My who's back the week is cake. Cake. The band. Cake. Going the distance. Cake.

How so? There was a tweet I mean talk about really stupid shit that people were talking about online. But this is good stupid shit. This was like the stupidest shit but it's like one of those things where it's like you go off your phone for a day all of a sudden everyone's talking about cake. There was a video that started from Tasty where it was a video titled these are all cakes it's like a 3 minute video and it's just all you should watch it if you haven't.

It's just all these it looks like a crock it looks like a you know like a science set. It looks like a bar of soap. It blew my mind. It looks like a laptop. It looks like a head. And they're just sneaking cakes and everything. And it's just cakes so then everyone convinced themselves that you know maybe the world is just a giant cake.

I like the matrix. The cake. Yes. I like this. It's just one giant piece of cake. Okay. That's a good way to look at the world is delicious cakes are shaking in their boots. It did.

It did fuck me up for a little bit. Like I just look around and you have to wonder is that cake is this desk a piece of cake. Am I made of cake. No. This desk is from Wayfair. It's okay. It's bringing it into us. So it's pizza.

Yes. This desk is pizza. Not cake. Got it. But everything else is pie. It's actually the whole world is just Wayfair products with children abducted. And cake. Okay.

One or the other. Binary system. I checked the PMT assignment desk that I built because that was purchased off Wayfair. No kids. No kids. We need sports back. So bad man. We're so online.

It's so bad. The world is going insane. It's so fucking bad. That said I guarantee you those cakes they looked awesome but I guarantee you they taste like shit. Oh yeah. Because they have to use like the different sugar right to make it like the hard sugar and stuff.

Yes. It sucks. Right. It's like what was the show? Cake boss. He made some good cake but he also made some cakes where it was like this cake looks incredible but it tastes like shit. I'm going to make a cake that looks exactly like a cake and it's going to be fucking

bonkers. Oh so good. What about a cake that looks like a pie. Ooh that's good too. That would be cool. That would be mind fuck. What if the world was just like one big cherry cordial and so the center of the core of the earth is just like liquid goodness.

That would be good as well. So that was one of the you know. Were any of them ice cream cakes? I'm going to give you a verbal meme of an actual meme but it was like an astronaut looking at the world getting cut in half as a cake and he had a speech bubble that said the world is cake and there was another astronaut behind him with a gun that said it's been cake the whole time. Oh but he's going to shoot him because he found out but he's going to shoot a cake.

Who's the guy behind him. With a cake gun. Who knows. That gun isn't even loaded dude. So the second astronaut is the baker. He's like the one that designed it all. Yeah. Right.

God is a baker. Damn. Okay. This is. Colin Callard's an atheist. We're high but it's good. Alright what is your who's back the week PFT. My who's back the week yeah I do feel high right now.

My who's back the week is taxes. So yeah taxes are due on Wednesday. I almost forgot too so I made a note in this economy. In this economy taxes are back Hank how so we got a delay and when they gave us oh wait wait no because they they got delayed but now we can get our extension. Oh yeah no I'm going to I always get my extension but what is our extension delayed or is it October 15. I think the extension is delayed but don't quote me on that but do you really want to

be paying taxes in December yeah or during football playoffs when you're down a lot of money. Yeah yeah that's a tax write off. That's true. Yeah perfect. Good point. So yeah it's legalized. Taxes are back big time.

Nope Billy you're almost up. Not yet Billy. Alright my who's back the week is supermarket sweep. It's on Netflix. I guess it had been on Netflix or some one of these apps for a while but it's on Netflix now figure out how to watch it and it was it's such a fucking throwback and awesome you should if you don't remember it because you're too young watch it. It's a hilarious show set in a supermarket.

It's pretty much exactly how it sounds. It's like guys grocery games and standard definition right but it's but it's also funny watching like the very relatable moments of like one of the guys like they bring down three teams of two and trying to find stuff in a grocery aisle which is the hardest thing in the world but then in front of cameras and with a buzzer and a timer and then they have to go through with the carts and everything. It's a great game. It's also just weird seeing like the hair and the fashion throwback to like the 90s.

It's a different planet. What was the game where they just sent you through a supermarket and whatever you could fit in your cart that's got to keep that's supermarket sweet. Okay so that's that's the well no you're the winner at the end you fit you try to get as much as you can. You can feel you could fill your cart then you can bring it back and get a new cart and you try to get the biggest grocery bill. Okay.

You can only take five of one item and you can't spill anything. I would just go for the Cologne Cologne and grocery stores like so overpriced but you can get a shitload of it. It's like hams hams the cheeses the ground coffee some of the nuts. I would just I would just take my shop and go to a Whole Foods and then come back be like look at this. Yeah diapers. There's a whole strategy behind it but it's a great show.

Flamin Yons the big Flamin Yons. There you go. All right Bill you can talk now. So who's your who's back. Who's back the week. I'm going to go with bats. Okay. Yeah bats cause Corona and I'm also dealing with a bat problem.

So I might die of rabies in five months at least please wait so why might you die of rabies. Have you been. So like last night I have a bat. I found a bat in my house. Why don't you kill it. In your barn. I chased.

Don't say your house. It's a barn. So I was running around like trying to find this bat because I went to my neighbor's house to get a tennis racket and I came back to kill the bat and then the bat was gone. So I couldn't find the bat. It was hiding somewhere. So he doesn't kill animals. And the bat knows your reputation with did you leave the door open.

I there was a window open but then my basement I mean the whole thing flooded my whole because of the bat. No because of the tropical storm. My barn flooded and the bat was flying around and it was just like a whole situation. So anyway after all this chasing the bat I couldn't find the bat in the house. So I went to sleep but turns out you're not supposed to do that because the bat can bite you in your sleep and you don't know if you're sleeping in the flood. No I well I have a raised bed now I took the mattress off the floor.

Congrats. Yeah. So that's a big step in any young man's life is a second that you get a bed frame and like maybe even a box spring. Yeah. So then the flood didn't get me. So why are you wearing the Vibram shoes Billy's wearing the toes shoes the toes shoes that that early crossfitters and weird dad dad's billy I bald dad yeah hi hackers and mountain

climbers. Yeah. You can see Billy right now hit from the waist up he looks like he's ready to start the second civil war with his Hawaiian shirt and from the waist down he looks like he's ready to catch that fucking road runner. Those shoes the Vibrams that you're wearing the toes shoes you basically are saying like I live in the suburbs but I'm committed to living in an extreme outdoor life from two o'clock to five every Saturday.

I have rabies. Okay so why are you wearing the shoes. Well I put them on Friday and then I haven't taken them off since that's weird. That is weird. You've been wearing. Yeah you show. Yeah that's cleans them off. No.

So you walk through your flooded basement and then just get in a bed with them. You know I washed I spray them down with the hose the outside them and you wear them to bed. Yes he sleeps in those. Yeah you can but you can do a lot of sleep and you can go chug a gallon of anti-freeze if you want to. Well no you can't. I'm sick and tired.

We have an impression. You were physically capable of chugging anti-freeze. You shouldn't. I'm saying there's a lot of things that you can do but like sleeping in wet shoes they weren't wet Vibrams. And then earlier before the show you were like I'm going to stream all night tonight because I got to catch this bat and I was curious how streaming call duty is going to help. No I'm going to stay up all night to find this bat.

But you're going to be focused on the game. Right. Yeah well I'm going to see the bat flying around like I'm going to be playing and then the bats can fly around. And you're going to pause it. Yeah I'm going to pause the game and catch the bat because if I catch the bat then I can test the bat for rabies so I don't have to get a bunch of shots in my stomach. You got to watch that one scene from Black Sheep.

I'm not going to catch it I'm going to kill it but you can't. Something about testing. How are you going to test this bat for rabies? You call the housing commissioner or something. Yeah and they're going to be like sure thing Billy football we'll be right out to test your bat for rabies. No you take the bat to the thing. You know what they're going to do they're going to show up they're going to take the

bat and they're going to kill it in the fucking the back of their van. No I'm going to kill the bat. You can't crush the bat skull or you can't find out it has rabies. Oh my god. Alright Billy here's what you do. You open up your refrigerator and you turn all the lights off in the house and the bat will be attracted to the light. That's moths.

Have you thought about dressing up as Joker? I actually might turn into Batman. That would be a sick way to do the stream. Yeah. Best dress up like Joker the whole time and be like come on out Batman. The Joker isn't like funny anymore like cute it's just kind of everyone's just taking it. Well he's got mental issues.

Right. Why do we fuck up the Joker? Well then why don't you be the Jack Nicholson version of the Joker. That one's fucked up too. Be Mr. Penguin. Not really. Oh yeah. Are the Riddlers.

Yeah. The Riddlers. I mean. Be Bane. You love you love masks. Oh I'd be Bane. Alright so be Bane. Where is the bash.

There we go. Perfect. You got the voice. Warzone. Keep going. Give us something else. Nobody cared who I was until I put on these shoes. That was me who said that.

Yeah that was Billy. Alright let's get to our interview. We got Luke Bryan coming up in a minute but before we do that whoop whoop is a fitness wearable that provides you daily insights on the performance of your sleep how recovered your body is and how much exertion you put on your body whether you're looking to lose a few pounds training for an event or just playing feel better whoop can help you on your journey with personalized actionable data each day. They even have gaming as an activity so I can put it on when I'm playing with coach

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I can see how well I'm doing uh if I'm working out and see if you know I need to take an off day or a day where I wake up and I have 95% recovery it's like boom now you got to hit it now you have no excuse that's what whoop does it's awesome and you can sign up right now and compete against Billy Football because Billy Football has his whoop and he is tracking every single piece of data every single day so sign up right now if you beat Billy Football you can win $250 of merch use the code COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM

COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM COM get on whoop today with code TAKE for 15% off and please beat Billy we cannot recommend enough whoop is an awesome app get in tune with your body figure out how to get those fitness goals in 2020 get on whoop today with code TAKE for 15% off and please please please beat Billy ok here he is Luke Bryant ok we now welcome on a very special guest it is uh country music performer he won 2013 entertainer of the year by the academy of country music where he's got a new album out it's called born here live here die here is Luke Bryant thank you so much for joining us Luke we appreciate it uh the new album let's start there live

here or sorry born here live here die here where's here we're talking Nashville we're talking Georgia Georgia Leesburg Georgia little peanut little peanut growing town down in the southwest part of Georgia yeah ok would you say that you're the most famous peanut farmer from Georgia if I'm not I got trouble well I'm looking right now Jimmy Carter only has 67,000 Twitter followers and you've got like nine million so I think hands down it's got a Jimmy handled I got I got Jimmy B but uh you know it's a little bit of a misnomer because I wasn't technically a peanut farmer but I worked in ag and we owned a peanut meal so we would buy peanuts from the farmer got it ok yeah ok that's and that's how we get

our peanut butter uh you know in the stores and everything you're the you're the guy who makes it happen so the first process is the farmer the farmer to grow it the second process is for my dad's meal to get it out of the field and get it ready to go to the shelling plant for for peanut butter ok with would there be like a certain peanut butter that your dad's peanuts would go to like where you were a Reese's family or a jiff or what you know there well there's several company you know I never knew when they went on from us you know they go out and they just become a commodity at that point so it's heck I could never tell you at some point I think we were selling to Reese's quite a bit or they made

it to work yeah so so you put dye here in the album title so I think I it's fair for me to ask have you thought at all maybe of getting like a peanut shell casket when you do eventually die in like 50 years 50 years they can play 60 years ok long life but can we get that yes it's a good chance you might have eaten my nuts ok nice we've had your nuts they're delicious um so a real question here so you the new albums coming out week of July 13th is it weird that you're not able to tour this summer like what how is that thrown off your schedule because I assume every summer since however long you can imagine you've been out on the road playing songs for people especially country music summertime

there's nothing better yeah man it's been a it's been a learning process to retrain my body on what sleep feels like like I mean I've slept more consistent you know I slept more consistently for never in my life you know even because hell you roll out of college I rolled out of college and I went and worked for my dad and then I went from working for my dad to leaving and going and getting in the music business so now you know I've kind of been like a regular regular dad but um so but you know it's been pretty um you know it's just been a big a big learning thing you know my wife and I we haven't divorced yet so I'm pretty proud of that good yeah and but you know the main thing is you really

really get a custom to work in a lot and you do miss work you know it's fulfilling it's fun it's exciting it's crazy I mean being on a tour bus playing for fans so certainly missing that but um you know trying to you know trying to travel a little bit and see some spots and have some fun you know fun stuff with my family my my nephew graduated high school and he's going off to college so trying to really have some uh have some time with him this summer yeah that sounds nice yeah when you were growing up where was your family supportive of you getting into the uh the songwriting game or were they like hey we need you to be a peanut shelling plant manager was there any pressure to follow in

the family business you know my dad man my dad was like get your butt out of here you know he he he was really in my mother too but you know they they were they were hard working people and and you know I think you'd be amazed I mean I've met so many artists so many country singers and songwriters that their parents didn't have their back their parents just their parents almost shamed them for having a dream and man that wasn't my scenario I mean my my parents were like we want the best for you we they believed in me and you know so they were or it was they were just trying to kick me out either way they were just they were they were excited but they they were really behind what was it

like when you were trying to make it in Nashville as a country music singer because I would assume everything I know about Nashville it's just full of people trying to make it as country music singers so was it competitive was it like night in and night out you see someone like oh that person where do I stack up against them that must have been a interesting time and place to be yeah it's everything you just brought up I mean when you when you leave Georgia and I had developed a pretty good little college following playing bars and college bars in Georgia so I kind of you know I kind of thought that you know I kind of thought that I had it I was a little bit ahead of the game you know I spent a lot of time performing

on stage but I've never really recorded albums and I've never really had a big time I've never really written a lot of songs so when I get to Nashville you know I'm trying to figure out you know you can get you can get you can deviate off your path you can kind of go down the wrong road and and hail next thing you know two years you know you just wasted two years well with me I was a little more mature I was 25 years old when I moved to Nashville so I was a little smarter about you know well I was kind of like with these guys they you know they're cool dudes but they really don't seem like you know they're just drinking and partying all the time and they don't really have a clear vision and

then I so I kind of was was able to really focus in on the right moves to make and really really hit the ground running and man just you know and then you start you know the main thing was I got there and I started working my butt off right away I started writing a lot and I got a I got a publishing deal on music row writing you know two three songs a day going out catching shows networking networking you know and then and then I realized real quick that I was a I was a little fish in a big pond you know and I had to I had to get better fast to really compete I mean because that's what it is I mean when you moved to Nashville you know you're competing for all of the other guys and girls that are

trying to get on a record label I mean they're all you're vying for a you're vying you're competing for a small spot so you better get good quick or you'll be in and out of there so thankfully I met some really you know smart people that showed me the ropes on you know that I make some mistakes that I lose some money at some I did some things that cost me a little money early on but you work through it and thank God you know you come out on the other end and man it's amazing now I mean you know even when you feel like when you know you've made it and you can just go enjoy having fun knowing that you made it yeah you know and you don't have to you don't have to doubt you know you don't I don't have to

doubt was it worth putting it all on the line I mean I know it was now just make sure I go have fun from here to the end of time. What was that like writing songs for other people and thinking like at the same time you're trying to make it as a solo artist are you are you writing a song and you're like man I could I could sell this to Travis Tritt or I could put this in my back pocket because I know this one's a hit. Yeah there's a lot of stress that could happen in those moments when you're you know I never really when you know some of my early songs that got recorded obviously Travis Tritt recorded one and then Billy Currenton had a you know had a number one song and I had a little bit

of anxiety about releasing these songs but my but you know what if I'm waking up you know the thing that some early some early artists and songwriters do is they act like they're never gonna write another great song you know if you if you think that you're gonna write one or two great songs in your history then you're really not aiming high enough you know my approach was as long as I'm showing up every day and I'm writing my butt off and I'm working working working you know better songs will come and what actually happened is I was able to learn and hone in who I was as an artist and what I was gonna be even better by writing more songs you know I mean even the first couple of songs I wrote you

know they were just songs that I just wrote and I went and recorded them at a demo session and hell I wasn't even singing you know I wasn't you know my voice hasn't even had even reached what it would become so it's like anything you know you know and even in sports you know if you're a great route runner if you're slow if you're slow receiver but you're a great route runner you can you can figure out how to catch the ball you know you can and so with me I mean I I had all the tools but I hadn't lined them all up at the right time and when you finally line them all up you're writing great you're singing great you're performing great you're making all the right business moves that's when it

kind of that's when it goes to the next level so you I don't you're kind of a genius when it comes to the naming of your songs is that intentional because it's so straightforward for people who don't know some of some of my favorite names of Luke Bryan songs one Margarita drink a beer that one's about beer you have let's see there's other ones knocking boots it's just straightforward my favorite is we rode in trucks like you know what that song's about now like like I'm being honest though that the simplicity of it is kind of genius because it's like this is what the song is about here you go do you do that intentionally so you're going on the record to call me a genius I actually think that I think a lot

of times people overthink what they're trying to give to their fans and you know what your fans want and countryman that's a song there it is so when you take my drunk ass home that's a song like that's just there there it is that one real one that's a real one take my I love it like it's it's it's when you there's some genius in it were you a stone temple pilots fan I used to dabble yeah all right what's interstate love song about down down down it's about that riff this song is about a riff yep so you know I remember being a kid now I loved hell I love Metallica I loved you know I loved but you know like Pearl Jam I never understood what the hell they were talking about well Jeremy that's pretty straightforward

yeah I mean a crazy kid yeah but you're right you're right yo led better you you can't understand what he's saying at all right now I'm not knocking their music now I'm gonna get some hate mail but it was amazing I mean I played it 24-7 but you know I think in country you know country is really good about keep it you know there's a there's a funny it's almost like keep it simple stupid you know just keep it simple you know have some fun you know I've always you know I've always anytime man I could put a big old fun song out that you don't really have to try to cure the world of all of its problems I mean man like you look at one margarita I mean that's I mean dude that I've gone about two years that's that's made become my biggest song of my career right

and man it's just big fun there's nothing scientific about it one margarita two margarita three margarita shot now now who doesn't really do that right that's my point though there's there's some types of entertainment that it's okay I think there's I think what what's happened is it people look down on certain types of entertainment where you turn your brain off you just enjoy it right and that's kind of what this is like you can turn your brain off and enjoy it there's nothing there's no deeper meaning than hey look drinking margaritas is fun let's have some of the suns out it's a fucking fun time you have that other song what was the sunburnt one the sunrise sunburn sunset that's a fucking day you just explained today told a story sunrises you get a little burn

sunsets hey keep it simple stupid yeah so have you thought about just throwing out there a title I was thinking maybe just drunk again or just like biceps yeah suns out guns out that's a song title right Luke little double on yeah little autobiographical song you could maybe make that one a little slower get to get the get the when they do the blue mood lighting on stage you sit down on your and it's just I'm Luke and it's just a solo when I can write shotgun and shit yeah can we just is it okay if we just throw you out some song titles and you can you know bounce them off you you guys you know what you might be right we can in five minutes we can we can write my next four albums okay little miss Daisy Duke ooh that might be a little too much I'm a little

confused little miss a uh them Daisy Duke jeans uh cute dogs hunting dogs hunting dogs Rusty Fender Rusty Fender that's a good one that sounds like a NASCAR driver yeah dirty tires that's pretty good I'm all about that good time yeah blacks let me see baseball black smoke that's good okay what about ballgame ballgame can get weird fast cars faster women parentheses ain't all they cracked up to be what about just what about just game day that could be any sport yeah game day ESPN kind of messes up on there no but you should just ride the coattails on that just you've been on game day you could just call it not so fast my friend see we were already that's 12 titles right there yes next album I think I actually tweeted I think I had a tweet in like 2015 where I said

oh yeah finally we get Luke Bryan on college game day that was sarcastic just so you know was it yeah it was I've been doing they play they play your songs all the time on game day so I think I was being sarcastic yeah um I was like finally that can be taken that can be taken as two ways yeah oh today so listen today is we didn't even plan this by the way today is a monumental day uh it's 23rd uh Tuesday margarita day taco Tuesday my my english cocker and my chocolate lab debuted on barstool Instagram today oh what a year ago two years ago how long no just today today oh wow I gotta go look at it pull it up you should have a song named english cocker that could get confusing that could get or cocker english dog days but it's actually just

about dogs what about a day in the life of your of your dog oh what about cock her two different words you said it not me yeah okay um while we're getting stuff off her chest I had a tweet from 2015 this is when the panthers were playing the cowboys on Thanksgiving day I just want to be open and honest about in case you did your research ahead of time I tweeted luke brian more like puke brian but but in my in fairness that was a fraud tweet on my part because I wasn't even listening I wasn't a bar and the sound was off and I just figured I'd jump in and pile on the roast that was going on uh I ended up watching the performance later I was like that's actually pretty good uh so I'd just like to apologize in case you'd seen that uh and also ask you do you read

your mentions on twitter so not you know what man your first few years in it you want to beat everybody's ass you just you do and then you just you're just then you just chalk it up to like you know there's been some dudes that like if I see them yeah I'm just gonna have to say something name names no but I got them yeah it's just like I just put them in the little little red neck go red neck on your ass point in my brain because I don't you know I do have that side of me I'm just really good at controlling it right but but you've made it like you said that had to be the moment like what was the moment that you officially said you know what I've made it like I don't have to care about what people say about me yeah I had I had a I got a buddy of mine he goes Luke just

anytime you get pissed off at the world just reach down there and pat that front hip hop I like that that's that's very good advice yes um what in your opinion is the greatest country song ever written man the greatest country song ever written I mean historically he stopped loving her today you know when you look at you know it's hard to top that one but personally my favorite country song is what I'd say it's a song it's a it's a it's an old Earl Thomas Conley song called what I'd say and it's a when I was a kid it was the first time I remember being a kid and going man that dude is hurting his ass is hurting you know and that's why I'd always stuck with me so interesting I've always wondered uh because I grew up listening country music

what is a honky tonk how is a honky tonk different from just a bar well you know the the key elements of a honky tonk or a sawdust dance floor a tip mostly a jukebox that spins vinyl records um uh just a old band like a band in the corner behind you know honky you know honky tonks you know the honky honky tonks were man they were a thing of beauty back when they were most of you know honky tonks typically had oyster shells in the parking lot okay so somewhere around the gulf maybe what's that somewhere around the gulf of mexico well but it was just it was just another fun little element I mean if you're walking into a place it's got neon neon lights certainly neon lights in the window jukebox you know a small dance floor I mean I play you know

just shady old characters there you know you got you got people that just they're just there every day you know some of them have shoes on some of them don't mm-hmm so almost mangy mangy dog laying in the floor that's a honky tonk no air conditioning yeah um we we play a game on this show called we read a headline and uh this headline I need you to just explain it to me this is actually from uh what's today's date this is actually from like four days ago Luke Luke Brian's wife Caroline attacked by turkey with a bad reputation what the fuck dude so here's the thing people will actually question where whether I'm country or not I'm like well I don't get it anyway read the headline dude yeah your wife's getting attacked by turkeys so we so I've got a buddy I got a buddy of mine that

thought it would be funny so we've got this little rescue animal barn and we've got some little miniature horses and donkeys and we've got sheep and goats and all kind of stuff and my wife man she she goes down there and feeds these animals every day and loves on them and man it's her like it's her you know she gets you know every evening man she drives down there and she loves on these animals it's truly like what she does to get away well I got this crazy buddy that dropped that damn attained white turkey drop you know drop the turkey off and um and his name is Al and he's become kind of famous my wife posts pictures of Al all the time so Al lives at our farm when we've had him about three years and my wife just loves the turkey you know the dogs will go down there and

literally the dogs will go down there and just whoop the shit out of Al you know just attack him tear all his feathers out my wife will take him to the vet he'll stay at the vet grow his feathers back and then you know so about once every six months you know something whoops Al's ass well as Al has grown and become a mature turkey the wild turkeys at the farm come and whoop his ass about once every three days so Al has gotten more aggressive mm-hmm well you know you've heard of like cock fighting right mm-hmm well the reason why you know they have spurs turkeys have long spurs have you all ever seen them yeah so they're about an inch long well Al spurs her an inch long so my wife is feeding at the barn and she turns to get on her golf cart and that damn turkey runs

up and spurs her behind the kneecap and you know you know those two big tendons that run behind your yeah you know the two big ones that run behind the kneecap that spur hit her right in that tendon oh and folded her up like yeah folded her up geez so where does this turkeys reputation come into play it feels like maybe they were demonizing the turkey bit in the headline he's become well he's become just famous from his shenanigans he's always you know he'll run the cable guy he'll run the cable guy up in the you know you know he hates me like if I get out of my truck he'll he's trying to attack me and you know turkeys pull let's just say poultry in general they don't if you go kick the hell out of them they don't remember that you kicked them okay

they don't they don't they don't go oh this guy you know they just don't have that element so we we we captured Al and moved him to another farm way out in the country okay good so we can have this bad reputation somewhere else so you've got to have a song you know Big Al or or Al with the bad yeah by Big Al bye by Big Al if I were you I would have you did you see my dogs on this very good looking dogs I would very good looking I would have insisted that we eat Big Al like the ultimate bit of revenge well let me just say that you remember that little redneck I went redneck and I drove to the barn to rid us I mean when you so first of all when a turkey spurs you so Caroline my wife she had to get on steroids she had to do antibiotics

like you know you don't know what kind of bacteria is on a turkey spur I'm like you know that's all I need is my wife to die from a damn turkey attack right so anyway but I went down there to handle Al like like my dad would have but my wife pleaded with me and spare Al I really I mean I have so much money invested in that turkey you know you know like those um those those tuna those million dollar tunas that they catch and ship to China you know for the pursuit ahi or whatever yep yeah my price per Al's price per pound is probably the same as ahi tuna so yeah I was gonna I was gonna enjoy frying his ass yeah he's got a story behind him now I feel like there would be a bidding war for the for the rights to Al but

you pardoned him like you did a presidential pardon on that turkey that's very noble of you these dogs are so cute man these dogs are some good looking dogs real good you couldn't pay me money for those dogs those are yeah well I mean you're you have a lot of money so yeah but still you know everything has a price a billion dollars for one of your dogs never in a million years two billion dollars oh no we you said billion yeah billion they're they're out of there all right cool got it we got your dogs we got them how many pick up how many pick up who was it Barbara Streisand that cloned her dog or yes yes I'll go Barbara Streisand on you and just clone him clone him how many pickup trucks do you own he's counting one two three that's it well I've got a I've got a silver

a Chevy Silverado that's you know that's my that I drive and then I've got a the best thing I ever did is I've got a Denali that I put like 33 and 35 inch tires eight inch lift and I totally like made it look like a transformer you know okay so my Denali is essentially a truck and then I've got well I'll take that back I've got a couple farm trucks some of my farm guys yeah and if you have a truck that's from before the year 1980 that's like the first truck that you let your kids drive when you're six years old yeah I mean you got you and also you you know your your your Chevy Silverado that's your that's your probably going out the dinner truck that's your city truck and you got your farm trucks you know so my brother I lost my brother in 96 and he had a white

Silverado and my wife went and found it and we re re re-get it and I have that truck and it's it's awesome a 96 Silverado yeah that's pretty sweet you you have like the perfect voice for a country music singer if they drew it up in a lab I'm talking until like the ideal voice of a male country music singer do you find that a lot of people in Nashville like have to work at putting on that inflection something that comes to you naturally I think that if you're working at it you know maybe you can have a few hits and fool people but I think once the country music consumer kind of goes you know this guy doesn't talk like he sings and it's almost like two I think they start sniffing you out yeah you know you you know you can you know the biggest thing the most

important thing for me is is to make sure when they come watch me in concert that I sound like the records I remember being a kid and going and watching a singer and I'm like oh my god he doesn't you know he's a phony he doesn't sound like he doesn't sound like so that's always been a big thing for me but but you know I mean I think the the true the true talents that rise to the surface I think I think they're authentic in what they're doing you know I think when when you when you get up in that level of 10 12 big hits you know I think you've you've checked all the boxes and you deserve to be there yeah do you still get nervous before you go on stage you know not really I mean it depends on the environment you know like when I did the Super Bowl at the anthem you don't get

more nervous than that that's the highest level of nerves but I get jacked up and ready and fired up you know I mean no I'm not you know I'm not running around you know busting bottles over my head and people are slapping me in the face getting me pumped up but man you know I enjoy the thrill of going out to perform I mean man when when the lights go down and you can feel that energy in the speakers I mean it's it's the best drug in the world I mean you know it's just nothing gets nothing's better than that yeah when uh when they asked you to perform the national anthem did you know what the overunder was well here's the deal um I sang it live no track which you know I'm not bragging but I don't know if anybody's

really done that in a while I mean I do I've done it like seven times but yeah go ahead for our rough and rowdy what was interesting is I every time I performed it one minute it'd be two minutes 11 seconds the next minute it'd be 214 so so when I got in the moment so when you walk out there to perform it like I realized that I was doing pretty damn good I was like my confidence started building within the moment and then I started milking you a little bit and kind of trying to you know because once you know the the biggest part is walking your ass out there and the the announced are going ladies and gentlemen gentlemen gentlemen gentlemen here to perform our nation's anthem I mean if you hadn't shit in your pants by then you're

probably gonna make it you know yeah and then when I started actually singing it on key on time and you start hearing the the crowd start you know everybody's like wow you know you start hearing all that then then I started milking it and I ran over a little bit so I cost I call some of my buddies a little bit of money but hell with them I had I had one last question I read that before every show you eat a whole bag of Lay's potato chips is that true that is that's an old deal that was I used to eat them in the studio when I was singing a little bit okay so you don't eat them anymore I tend I don't eat them before a show um that not known rare you know I'll you know the beauty of a potato chip like that the oil and the salt is really suited so if your

voice is really like if you guys are on the air we should start doing that you got a lot of talking and your voice is about gone and you want to soothe your voice a little bit eat up you know eat a lady I like that more potato wow I never knew that is it always is it true that uh you get a better singing voice the heavier you are I don't know about that I know that the male voice reaps full reaches full maturity they say at 38 years old oh maybe one day I'll be able to sing yeah we haven't peaked yet something to look forward to both 35 so we got three years love the years and you're ready to move to Nashville boys yes become a star uh were you jealous and upset that you didn't think of the word chillaxification first before Kenny Chesney did

on Chesney yeah hey that's pretty damn you know I couldn't even begin to spell that one do you know what chillaxification means because we figured out with the chill part the lax part but what's the efication well see I love metamutal so lax maybe laxative like chill yeah there you go see but but this is why this is why Luke is a genius he would have just his tour where there's been let's chill and relax that's right yeah you know I'm thinking about bowel movements and how healthy that is to make your day go great yeah just chill out chill tour just chill out um all right well Luke this has been awesome man born here live here die here is out this week we're gonna run at the week that it comes out we appreciate you stopping by uh via

zoom we'd love to have you on in person next time you're uh able to travel in your new york city but this has been a lot of fun man hey thanks for having me guys love the show and man um like I said thanks for having me on all right thanks so much man have a good one have a great summer okay thanks to Luke Brian awesome interview before we get to segments we are brought to you by our friends at cross rope these days we're all looking for ways to stay fit while we're spending more time at home cardio machines aren't exactly motivating and the cost of home gym equipment can add up fast I found a cool different way to get a great workout for a fraction of the cost it's called cross rope the sleek weighted jump rope system that makes working out at home

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that's cross rope dot com slash pmt i cannot recommend enough get those fitness goals going with cross rope dot com slash pmt barriers entries super low you don't need all the fucking all the machines and everything it's so so easy jumping rope also makes you feel like a boss when you get in that rhythm cross rope dot com slash pmt okay segments and we have a Monday reading um first up we have way to stay relevant golf awesome uh playoff today and one of the tournaments they're doing i think it was justin johnson no is it justin tom justin justin thomas versus uh colin more kawa there we go jakes got all the pronunciations i saw some highlights and i saw some highlights because it wasn't on tv how how how do they have a golf tournament

when there's no other sports happening and it's not on tv because they were too busy doing the broadcast of like the pro am yeah it was who was in the pro am it was like kyle williams from the bills darin uh darin darin williams darin williams was in there yeah how this is like the mlb having the blackout you have a problem you have a problem with your sport when people would rather watch people from other sports playing your sport yes the best people at your sport and it was thrilling and awesome yeah you're right it would basically be like we the mba is back let's watch uh the celebrity game from last year's all stuff yeah let's watch woj and shifter go one on one right what what's going on what is going on golf do we need to fix golf i think we do we should brooks to start and

they're not on prox anymore no more joe buck okay so bring it back to fox wait involve the us open though i'm pretty sure they didn't re up their contract or something but he's got this year he's got this year yeah but i i recently remember them all tweeting like oh you know we were doing so much stuff with with fox it's a shame that it's over okay um you want to fix golf yeah uh make the balls different colors neon colored balls for each player involve cletus the dancing fox robots yes even when it's not on fox let everyone do the same steroids that bryce and d shambo is doing allegedly yeah um throw bryce and d shambo into into a well this year what us open and return to nbc beginning with this year's championship what they can just pull it on joe buck like that

oh poor joe what he did what he said go ahead jake i have the reason why the golf is not on tv they moved it up to 7 a.m this morning due to weather so it was still slated at 3 p.m but yeah the contractually they couldn't show it this morning okay there was no weather issues and it just figured out here you go build a dome weather issues they would have had this is why they need someone who just sits in all of these like what was playing on tv that bull riding which is electric but dog competition was on too they just need one person at all these companies at espn cbs mbc who just sits there and he's like wait this makes no fucking sense just put it on tv i'll answer for it later i would love to see chris burman get back involved in golf yes that's actually an easy way

for him to get back in front of a camera just like send him to the best golf resorts in the world and he also doesn't really need i mean golf the golf telecast the best part about the golf telecast when like they put like verne lungquist at like 17 he just sits there and he just announces that whole all day yeah it's awesome yeah burman could do it from his living room yes just give him like a glass of iced tea and a lazy boy recliner and boomer will deliver you golf ready to go um all right we have a drunk idea what was this drunk idea yeah we just we were talking about this earlier so it wasn't a drunk idea well it was uh i consider all of our brains to be kind of drunk right now with how online we are and how uh how like difficult this last couple three four months

has been without any sports but it is kind of a drunk idea it's what if they made a video game that was just an obama simulator so it's just obama you're you get to be obama in the white house what not after i want to make my netflix special no you don't get to do that you have to be at a white house so you have to deal with like you have to like go play basketball with whatever person from u and c is over at the time and then you have to like go to the situation room and try to double tap somebody from al-qaeda you get to like make new drones with your bare hands do something cool tweet something cool uh you get and sign a bio yeah sign a bio drop a mic drop a mic drop a mic uh you get to sounds like the most boring game of all time you get to um let's see you're chilling in

the rose garden and you have to give a speech and then some boring ass reporter has to ask you follow up questions and you can like throw something at them um yeah i'm out on on the obama on the obama simulator this definitely was an idea i was half listening when we talked about this idea i think it's a great idea it was good when i heard it that's why i'm out you saying it was good no because you can like play basketball with michael jordan and like okay he didn't describe the part about how like the video game with the drone it's gonna be like michelle's we like get off your game and it's like get off your game so you're basically playing call of duty and like um mba2k yeah but in the whiteout yeah and then and then michelle comes in and she's like you want to

fuck obama and he's like yeah i'll fuck you and she's like okay obama i'm so horny you just try to you just try to do an obama no i didn't i yeah you did yeah you did yeah you did let's let's be clear i've got no don't listen i've got i've got a massive reaction here please don't i'm gonna use use the pocket veto okay michelle i got a uav over you know what i'm in on the idea if we don't do any more obama impressions all right okay they released me whenever four years let's be clear someone's gotta make the obama who's that guy who made us those video games remember him like he was making all those games online the three-point shooter that was so sick where'd he go that guy needs to come back where you get to build your own death panel that'd be sick i want that guy

to come back maybe he can build it for us it's called jade helm all right uh gonna take over texas all right do the ad do the ad i can't do this okay get off the game billy billy okay okay all right this money rating is brought to you by good friends at death wish coffee in the seemingly never-ending lockdown the world is going through it's tough to stay motivated especially when you're supposed to be working from home but thanks to the people at death wish coffee they are the makers of the world's strongest coffee you can stay caffeinated to do whatever you do when you want to be excellent at whatever it is that you're doing so death wish coffee is the way that i start my day every morning it is like three times stronger than the next best coffee that i've ever had

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that's more than c4 i believe the pre-workout c4 i think that death wish coffee actually has more caffeine in it than a pre-workout formula it is so if you're the average joe slamming back weak ass coffee every morning to get you moving your coffee should be highly caffeinated and you should work hard it should work hard for you so challenge yourself to try death wish coffee you're going to love it say yes to extraordinary get barstools coffee of choice at deathwishcoffee.com save 15 percent off your order when you use the promo code viva at checkout that's promo code deathwishcoffee.com promo code viva for 15 percent off viva lastron coffee okay uh let's do our monday reading before we do it we're gonna absolutely admit this is most likely fake but it's still hilarious and

still a great idea and still a good monday reading so we know we're not dumb we know but if it wasn't it would be incredible okay here it is my 25 year old boyfriend keeps asking me to invest in his soup tube business idea and i'm not sure how to deal with it sounds like a good idea yeah wait till you hear it because it's even better than i have initially thought uh okay here it goes i've been living with my boyfriend for about seven months two weeks ago he sat me down and presented a powerpoint presentation with his business idea this that is just a hilarious visual to begin with do you think she's rich that i or just like i need your backing like we're about to sink everything we have into this idea into my soup tube business i want you to be ride or die

with me yeah um it's always good when you have to put together a deck for your spouse yes a powerpoint in the living room that's where the that's where real business gets made um i knew he'd been working an idea but i he didn't want to tell me about it until it was finished based on his enthusiasm and his prior seemingly intelligent nature i thought maybe it'd be a pretty cool idea instead he presented to me an idea about soup tubes the idea if you can call it that whoa that's already really judging by the way the idea if you can call it that is to construct a series of tubes throughout our city that leads to centralized soup kitchens for a monthly subscription a customer could subscribe to a tube of soup and a tube extension would be built off the nearest mainline tube and directly

into the customer apartment or home i love how how in this guy's imagination cities are like that you've got power lines you've got uh water lines and then you've got soup that's just soup tubes that connects every single thing together heat this is i mean it is genius yes i mean find the flaw in it difficult to pull off yes but genius nonetheless so uh based on subscription level that would determine the quantity of soup a customer could pour and how many types of soup the tubes are basically the size of pipes like you might see under a sink but he insisted that it must be called soup tube not soup pipe tube just zings better i completely yes soup tube soup tube you've also got that cross promotion thing going on people are usually saying youtube yeah kind of

sounds similar to that what would what would you probably get like some kind of uh chili uh cereal cereal soup what what tubes would you get hooked up i would get pho tubes maybe a clam chowder maybe ramen uh i feel like the chowder would get a little funky if you didn't clean it out a little chicken chicken noodle just some basic chicken noodle tomato tomato soup tomato yeah that'd be good so i would need at least ice cream five or six tubes in my house linked up could you imagine the like the property value too when you're looking for a new home like this guy already has 10 different tubes installed dude it's it's huge so like you could waste your time going to the grocery store and buying cans of soup or you just put your bowl underneath a fucking tube

in your kitchen this also is kind of the way that like in in an orwellian world where we all just like the government just puts tubes in all of our homes and just instead of going there's no grocery stores anymore they just like pump food through the tubes to us you're gonna eat we just eat the sludge you're gonna eat whatever the fuck we put into your gullet there's like a baby tube and then there's a like an adult tube uh-huh it's like soylent yeah we're basically at the soylent age right now yes this would actually work with beer like for the subscription no you're right you're right beer tubes would work yeah like people would actually do that yeah beer to why the problem zuckerberg this guy yeah i'm gonna zucker cuckum mmm beer tubes okay your tubes that's a problem

that's an intellectual property really really football really just fucking flip this thing beer tube that actually would work yeah also wait check the check so you turn you turn the entire town into a bar yes just a single keg in the middle right it's just a reservoir of beer like instead of like a water tower it's just a beer tower yes it connects everybody i like that okay what's beer tube dot com is it is it taken yet uh yeah it is it's definitely taken fucked up why don't you just have it be like pure alcohol not taken no buy that shit your tube dot com purchase it dude buy that i just zucker cut this dude buy it what if you just had pure alcohol and everybody just had like an iv drip all the time so everyone's walked around buzz or patches patches yeah alcohol

patches all right so let's get back to soup tube but i like your idea billy good job um i couldn't believe what i was hearing at first i asked if he was uh crank yanking me or something but he was completely sincere obviously the idea is completely insane the notion that the city would authorize somebody construct a series of tubes everywhere that carries soup into homes is of course ludicrous and even if such an initiative was approved the cost for such an operation would be ridiculous now this is this is a this is a naysayer and a person who doesn't dream surround yourself by positive people in your life because she is being very judgmental about the city there's always a million reasons not to construct a city just out of metal tubes that feed soup from a centralized

location but if you really want to get into it what this person has done with their idea of soup tubes they just pitched their girlfriend in the living room and now the world knows about this idea right so it seems to me like the marketing's already taken care of right it seems like it's a great idea right it went viral and it's like hey soup tube um you'd have to charge outrageous prices for customers to install and subscribe to a soup tube and who would pay i just love the name soup tube and who would pay for such a service when can soup costs like a dollar or two you have to fucking go out and buy the can soup idiots if they asked Henry Ford what what americans wanted he said that they would have said build a faster horse right he built a car i also i would assume the

soup tube it's fresh soup mm well we would assume so yeah right maybe maybe they just buy all the can if i'm making soup tubes i just go to every fucking grocery store in town i buy all the cans of soup you have no choice but to get your soup for me right or you can buy soup from a restaurant for a food few dollars again doesn't come in a tube i explain these things as politely as i could but he dismissed them and all i said that tube-based soup delivery is the wave of the future he then asked me how much i wanted to invest i told him nothing and he looked absolutely heartbroken since then almost every day he's asked again for me to invest and keeps trying to sell me on this idea he's also doing the same thing to a lot of his friends i want to be friends with this guy

it sounds i was gonna say at the start of the story i thought maybe this dude lost in fantasy football last year and this was like the big bet that he had to pay off was like okay you gotta pitch your yeah right like the soup tube idea yeah and you have to stay committed to it that could be one reason why this is going around right now but i think a much more likely reason is that this is just a great idea it's a fucking great idea i would like no exaggeration i would pay i'd probably have like five or six different soup tubes installed in my kitchen right now out of the monday readings we've done davin buster's guy's number one the dude who um what would he call showers the guy who started

talking like sopranos i like that guy drapeenie yeah i'm going to hit the drapeenie he's number two soup tubes number three i like the mouse guy oh yeah the mouse guy too but drapeenie i still think about the mouse guy i hope that guy and his girlfriend are doing okay what about the guy that just uh jerked off onto the rug next to his bed all the time yeah that was weird too but uh i like soup tube guy so let's finish this up it is starting to drive me up the wall first i'm at a loss at how he can believe such a stupid idea is worthwhile second it is really goddamn annoying to be asked on a daily basis to invest in a system of soup tubes and third i'm also concerned for his sanity other than his apparent obsession with this uh though he has shown no other signs

i would like some advice as to how i can reason with him or whether i should even continue this relationship too long didn't read my boyfriend wants me to invest in a business venture wherein tubes would deliver soup that's fucking genius it's you know what it is he's just reverse engineered a toilet he's also this is that's it's the exact opposite of taking a crash and sending all your waste to someone this is like the circle of life what if you team up with a sewage treatment plant and then all of a sudden you've got a monopoly on the consumption and the elimination of waste this is also um a child of coronavirus like this is a guy who's been sitting in his house all day looking at the same fucking wall and being like damn i wish there were some tubes coming out of that

wall with soup these are the type like coronavirus and the pandemic have been terrible but there will be genius ideas like soup tube that will come out of this and we'll be better off as a society i think what's going to happen is it's ahead of its time and so 75 years from now we'll all have soup tubes in our house and we'll look back at this guy and be like can you believe that we laughed at him right i don't think i'm on the right side of history dude i'm i'm i'm ready to go as far as to say that we should tube everything like we should have human tubes instead of cars i never want to leave my house you know just like imagine if you wanted to come to work and you just got sucked up in your human tube and just spit out here like we're at a bank and you you're just sitting yourself

correct yes i like that a quick meal for the soup to just quickly like put your mouth on it and you chug the soup chug the soup and run if it's hot well maybe you can just set your temperature how you want it because i like special occasions okay for like a family meal you want a hot soup but a quick soup if you wake up is it all you can eat after you subscribe i'm sure it is and think of all the time that you would save you wake up you're late for work stop in the kitchen real quick just like shoot a shotgun load of like 70 milliliters of clam chatter into my throat and i'm out the door wait couldn't you just then open up a soup restaurant with all the soup tubes and just undercut them you have to that's a resellers deal so you have to have a license for

that right that seems like you can make communal so why would why would anybody go to the soup tube restaurant when you get your soup to your house tube the initial installation is cost prohibitive i would understand like someone's i would imagine that soup tube you know what they should do is soup tube it should be like mortgages you can basically you know you can get a down payment on your soup tube install pay monthly you put it on a layaway right exactly so everyone get a soup tube for everyone the american dream is everyone owns a soup tube there's a water fountain and a soup fountain and at the playgrounds so all the little kids have soup yeah especially in like cold weather and no one will go hungry that's true we'd eliminate a big problem in today's society

soup everywhere i love it i listen i really do enjoy this idea i think i would unironically purchase the system absolutely if you could tell if i could just hit a button and have soup any kind of soup in my in my like bowl at home it's like a coca-cola freestyle machine except for soup right imagine that it would be incredible so soup tube yes beer tube you're gonna buy beer tube dot com uh let's see how much it costs okay uh there's no way could i have an investment yes would you invest in beer tube yes perfect hundred dollars awesome okay what are you gonna do with it he was trying to he was just doing the math on how much a speeding ticket was yeah yeah he was all right that's all right i want to i'll give you a hundred dollars but i want 15

percent of the company okay perfect damn that's a low valuation dude i'm just gonna buy a beer bong and be like this is a pro it's a really long beer bong i'd go stand up on the roof and i pour beer into it and it goes into various rooms i i'm gonna hire some employees and they're gonna be my buddies and i'll pay you a hundred dollars to just take off those stupid fucking shoes seriously put it do you have a hundred dollars yes no billy don't take them off you're gonna smell awful all right yeah don't take them off uh wednesday we have tim woods back so dungeon and dragons that will be interesting we'll see everyone then love you guys no don't you agree don't you agree

you got me feeling nothing on this planet compared to it don't you agree don't you agree i got you you it's part of my tape presented by barstool sports so all right I know you got my back and you know I got you

So come on, come on, come on, come on Let's get physical, high ground, follow the night Baby keep on dancing like you ain't got a choice So come on, come on, come on Let's get physical Let's get physical Let's get physical Let's get physical