Pardon My Take - March Madness Recap Even Though Our Brains Are Leaking Out Of Our Ears

Episode Date: March 22, 2021

We recap everything. It was awesome. Must listen.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, we come back from the last three days of, I don't want to say war, but it is. It's a type of war.

It's, we were in war mode. It is, we were in- I honestly, you have to go into a situation like this, ready to kill your bracket. Ready to straight up murder it. And we were just gambling everything and watching everything, consuming so much basketball. I think we've spent 30 plus hours in a bar

the last four days, more than that even. But we're going to recap it all. We have it all. It's going to be a great show. I think that these are the best shows. Actually, you know what? I'll say this for the other side, but it's going to be a great show.

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Today is Monday, March 22nd, and everyone in America's bracket is busted. Officially, right, or at least on the major platforms, I don't think anyone's got a correct bracket. They're all so, so busted, so, so busted. And here was what I was gonna say at the beginning of the show before the ad, which you should always listen to. Don't skip that shit, don't skip that shit.

We don't gamble well, don't skip that shit. Well, a lot of times during the ads, we put in the best parts of the show. The secret tokens you're talking about. Yeah, oh yeah, well, don't say that. Well, I mean, the QR codes for the bitcoins. What I was going to say is, I love these shows. These specific shows that we're about to do right now,

because we match the mood of our listeners. We match the mood of America. We match the mood of everyone, guy and girl who has spent the last four days watching wall-to-wall basketball, whose eyes are bleeding, whose ears are ringing, whose brain is melting, and we still have eight more games to go.

My ass is asleep. My ass has been asleep for the last like 12 hours. You know how on your phone, you can see like how many steps that you've taken and monitor like how active you've been? I'm at an all-time low, I think, for steps taken over the course of three days, maybe in the history of the universe.

And I bet you if there was an app that showed your couch, how much ass time, it's a screen time, how much ass time I had on my couch this weekend, it was probably what, like 38 hours? 38 hours of ass time on a couch, watching college basketball. I have bed source. I got stung in my asshole today.

Something stung me. I have straight-up bed sores from the couch when someone is bed-ridden and they have to like rotate their body position because they get so sore from just doing nothing. That is what I have on my whole body. You gotta rotate. My brain just is throbbing,

like if my brain is pulsating in the worst type of way. And guess what? I loved every second of it. It's absolute chaos. The brackets are completely busted and we're here to break it all down. It took a year of not having March Bandits to make you really realize how much you love it.

I love feeling this miserable right now. And I wanna walk something back, but I didn't get stung on my asshole. What happened was I felt a weird tingling sensation on my butt and it turned out that my asshole fell asleep from sitting on a chair too long. First time that's ever happened to me. My body right now consists of part-core's light,

75% Tums, probably 85% just poop, 100% reason to remember the name. And like 175% of just losing bets and bracket busters. Hank, is the podcast out yet? All right, let's do it. Let's break it down. So we're gonna go region by region because we need guardrails for ourself on this show.

I walked over to PFD at the bar an hour ago. I was like, hey, let's try to do it region by region because I was just thinking about how we're gonna talk about this and I don't, I need like memory triggers for all of these games and moments. I don't remember, like I was looking through all the games here.

I don't remember anything about USC against Drake. Did that game happen? Yeah, Evan Mobley baby, Mobley baby, number two pick, Andy Edfield, shout out. One of my favorite stories is whenever a school gets like a top recruit and also at the same time hires that top recruits dad as the coaching assistant coach. Yeah, Jackson State could never.

I would do that all the time, all the time. All right, well, Jake is also, we tasked Jake with getting us our preview of one shining moment where he's been documenting what he thinks will be in one shining moment and we'll get to that. So let's start region by region. We're gonna start in the South because I think South obviously has the number one story

and that is Oral Roberts. The second 15 seed all time, the first being Dunk City, Andy Edfield. And now at USC, Florida Gulf Coast in 2013, Oral Roberts is the second all time. They stunned Florida. They are the story of the weekend. They are into the sweet 16.

And also they kicked the shit out of Ohio State. Didn't kick the shit out of them, but it was, that was a crazy game as well. Yeah, anytime a 15 beats a two, it does count as a shit kicking. Because we're counting every time we talk about whether or not it's an ass beating, we're in our own heads factoring in the spread

that we gambled on. So it's like, yeah, according to that, it was an ass kicking. It's interesting watching which big J's are making the Oral jokes and which ones are staying away. And I'll just, January, February, Oral. There it is. John Rossi for listening,

either that or death taxes Oral, either way. So I have a question for you. I have a question for you. Oral Roberts, if you're an Ohio State fan. We should make those t-shirts. Yeah, we should make those t-shirts. Death taxes Oral, death taxes Oral. I said Gluck Gluck over Chomp Chomp.

Yeah. We're gonna beat the Gators today. If you're Ohio State, so the fact that it's named Oral Roberts, Oral Bob beats you, the fact that that's the name of the school makes it so significantly worse. Because there are like 15 beating a two

is something people will bring up forever for Ohio State. Now the question is, is it better or worse for Ohio State fans that Oral Bob is now in the sweet 16 because they also beat Florida? Is it worse because now their story becomes bigger and more like, you know, mythological?

Or is it better because we're now talking about them like Oral Bob is in the sweet 16. I don't even remember who they beat in the first round. Yeah, I actually don't think that Oral Roberts University is allowed to technically go dancing. They're like Liberty where it's like the town in Footloose. Yeah, it is Footloose. Yeah, where you can't actually advance the dance.

But I think Big Cat, you're on to something. I don't think it's as bad under most circumstances because now the story is this school that sounds like a blow job, they're going on a little run here. But with Ohio State, you have to factor in the Michigan factor, which is perhaps the most active message board community.

Their fans are going to bring up the loss to Oral Roberts more than any other possible rival school in the entire country could. And it becomes a funny piece of trivia that will forever be brought up. Like if you lose as a two seed and it is to pretty much any other team, yeah, or Lehigh or Colgate even like,

oh, you're making two-page jokes, who cares? Oral Roberts is a killer. As long as it's not to like but fuck university, that's the only way it could be worse. Yeah, it's going to be, but then Ohio State's going to have like the easy comeback, which is Oral has beaten us more times than Jim Harbaugh has.

That's true. And so then Oral over Harbaugh, and then that's the way to pivot off that. But it's not good, but it would be a lot worse if it was Jess, they won that one game. Right. And then they lost in the second round. Right, all right.

So they're the story of the tournament. They're going to be matching up against Musk Bus. Shout out our guy, Musk Bus. Eric Musselman and the Arkansas Razorbacks into the sweet 16. I love this about the Musk Bus. And especially shout out our guy, Anthony Ruda, who hooked us up with Musk and is on their staff.

And I think he does most of the scheduling. Little, little fun fact, Arkansas played Oral Roberts in December. They beat him by 11. They were actually down at halftime, I believe. And the reason why they played him, and this is March Madness, if it's like the one thing that defines March Madness

is coach's stories and the narratives of players and how we build everything up. But Eric Musselman wanted to play teams that he thought lower conference teams that he thought were going to win their conference and be in the tournament. So that's why they scheduled Oral Roberts. I think they also played Abilene Christian.

They played Abilene Christian, Oral Roberts, and North Texas. So they all won their first round game. So this was all by design that he was like, there's a chance we could play one of these teams. So we want to schedule the best teams in the lowest conferences. So this is, if you were sitting here, I think I remember watching that game.

This is five-dimensional chess. Yeah, I think I bet on that game in December, and I watched it, and I know I bet on that game. And they hung tough. They did. Oral Roberts by 11, Abilene Christian by 13, and North Texas by 15. But the fact that a December game between Arkansas

and Oral Roberts was a preview for the sweet 16, a shot at the elite eight is crazy. And now, so that game's going to be great. I'm a must-bust believer. Yeah. The runs that they go on, when they decide to step on the gas pedal to must-bust, and they turned it on against Texas Tech, it was like, there's no going back.

They also have fun names. It's electric. Moses Moody, JD Note, fun names. I love it. There's a fun name. Is there any other mouth-related team that they could, because they got Colgate? Mon, you know, Monmouth's not in it.

Monmouth's not in it. Kinesis isn't in it. Kinesis. I think that's all the mouth. I think that is Monmouth. They have the opportunity to limb again. Lip scum. Lip scum.

Yeah, there we go, Jake. Thank you, Jake. Nice deep pull. Not in it. Yeah. All right, so that's one side or one part of the bracket. The other side, it sucks that the way that they made the tournament this year,

that it's Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, because in a regular year, we would be doing the show on Thursday night, and I would be saying the Wisconsin Badgers are the greatest team in the country. Because what they did to UNC, your boy Roy, it's COVID year. 29-0 in first round games. It's COVID, big guy.

It's COVID. 29-0 in first round games until he ran into the buzz saw that is the Wisconsin Badgers. I agree with you. This performance from UNC was abysmal. The only way I can describe it is, UNC looked like they were playing pool basketball in offense. They would get the ball, pivot around,

maybe take a couple steps, pass it. They were having no sort of motion. It just looked completely uncorrected. It was a painful game to watch as a die-hard UNC supporter. And I do like UNC as a die-hard duke-hater. I've always had love for UNC. I even spent after the game today, Wisconsin and Baylor. I spent about 20 minutes just going back

into Duke men's basketball, Twitter, and just retweeting all their losses. Rude. It made me feel better. You don't want me to make you want your friend to feel better? I do. I want you to feel great. We all cope a different way.

But either way, that Friday night game, like if you had not watched any college basketball, if you wiped away all the records and you watched all the games on Friday, you would say Wisconsin is the best team in the country. And then they showed up on Sunday. And Baylor is so much better than Wisconsin. That's what my thought was.

Jake and I were in the moron madness pool together. We picked Wisconsin because we thought that, like, wow, Wisconsin looks legit. They're going to score some points even against Baylor. We picked them. That was an unfortunate pick. And Jake, I would have given you my half of the earnings if we had won the $5,000.

Means a lot. I appreciate it. Oh, no, you would have given. I thought you were going to give half the charity and then half the Jake. No, I was going to give Jake that. And then I was going to give my match. Yeah, I was going to match it personally for charity.

And then I was going to give my half of the Bitcoin to TJ for Rutgers. That's what's awesome about losing bets that are, like, in a team environment, is you can say whatever you want after the fact. I was going to match to Jake and give it to you. Big Cat was, yeah. I was.

I was actually going to match with interest. So I was going to match as of Thursday, whatever the interest was. I appreciate you thinking of me. I would have donated some to the Barstool Fund too. Oh, wow. I actually would have. Yeah.

How much? A thousand. A thousand? Why not two? Make it two. If you donate a thousand, I'll match. OK, I'll match two. I'll double.

If I won. Yeah, right. No, no, no, but right now, like, I'll. No, no, no, no, no. Hypothetic. You're a hypothetical thousand. I actually would have. Right.

And I would have matched. Doubled. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? I'll triple it. I'll triple your hypothetical match. There it is.

And look at that. We just raised $5,000 for the Barstool Fund. If you had won it. If Wisconsin had covered that spread. Yeah, it looked like they were playing two different sports. It's just Baylor. You should not be allowed to dunk as much as Baylor was dunking today, especially knowing that Wisconsin's game

is predicated off of taking charges, calling intelligent timeouts, and just like two foot set shots that go off the backboard. Yeah. They're a great YMCA team. And Baylor was like scraping their heads on the rim. Well, it really was and I'm not saying let's just say this because I know that we we like to poke fun at the sadness

that I experienced as a sports fan. This this wasn't the like heartbreak game. They had to beat Baylor in an unbelievable upset for me to then have my heart broken. This was never going to be like as good as they were on Friday. And that's so much fun. Tournament wins. Never apologize for tournament wins.

If your team wins in the tournament, I don't care if they lose the next game like Wisconsin lost in the second round. Friday night was fucking awesome. I had a great time. I read all the recaps. It was awesome. The Baylor is just so, so good.

Their guards are so good defensively. And I'm not going to. They're just kids. OK, they're just kids. I was I want to criticize, but I'm not going to because they're just kids. Well, I'm not criticizing when I say that Baylor was just like way, way.

No, I know I was going to say other stuff about Greg Garden. He's much better than Wisconsin. Greg Garden is just a kid. I'd like to put my hand up and say I apologize for not giving Baylor enough respect. Turns out Baylor was a team that people weren't respecting much. Well, so the reason why Baylor lost their respect was they had COVID and when they came back, they then lost

to Kansas, then they got bounced in the big 12 tournament. Everyone's like, they're a different team now after the COVID. Post COVID, yeah. It was like that's people people kind of forgot about them. By the way, Baylor, if we're I'm not going to try to take away what you're about to do with your one shining moments. But if we're talking like storylines and what beat writers are looking to write about in the middle of the week, the Jackson

Moffat, the mullet kid, who just Matthew Mayor, Matthew Mayor. What's his name? Why does he just get his outfit? Is it actually his name, Matthew? Why did it? Oh, what's Oh, his Twitter handles Matt Jackson Moth. OK, I was about to say if Jackson Moth isn't also the name of a mullet guy, then he needs to do some work.

Yes. Wait, no, that's a different guy. We mullet bros. He's the Oh, he's the Bench Bob mullet bro of Matthew Mayor. So when you search, wow, Jackson Moth, a good job, dude, because he if you search Baylor mullet, Jackson Moth, it comes up first. Wow, I honestly never. I don't think it's because that actually is also part

of March is the bench guys and we'll get to Abilene Christian. The buyer, by the way, I need to correct myself. OK, thank you. I didn't care. The bench didn't play a minute for Abilene Christian doing horns down down the court, the game going viral. So the bench mob guys and UCLA bros. So anyway, Matthew Mayor.

He's going to get a lot of stories written because, I mean, he catches the ball in that in that like elbow extended and he's just wet and he's got a sick mullet and Baylor just jumps all over the place and their guards are insane. And yeah, you're right. I think Baylor will see. Hopefully the must bus comes out of here. Yeah, I'm really for the bus bus.

Now, did did Jackson Moth at Matthew Mayor? Did he have a mullet before the tournament? Yes, he did. Tournament. No, he had it before. I love that. I knew it before. There's a difference between a tournament mullet because I think the guy for I could be wrong, but I think the guy from Gonzaga that's got the handlebar mustache.

I think that's a tournament handlebar. So the guy that looks kind of like like if Billy played in Leonard Skinner. Right. The guy I'm talking about. Yes, that to me seems like a tournament facial hair. This guy, I think, is legit. I remember tweeting about Matthew Mayor, like sometime in early February, because he put lightning bolts in his mullet. That's sick. And I was like, oh, fuck, this guy's awesome.

That guy fucks. And then he turned out to to show up and beat me. We forgot about Villanova. Huh, that was funny. There's always the Villanova is the quintessential. I think Winthrop was even trending on Friday before the game, because everyone picked Winthrop. The 12, five Villanova struggled down the stretch.

Colin Gillespie gets hurt, all these things. And then, oh, yeah, Villanova turns out they're still pretty good. And Jay Wright's still a really good coach. They still have Jay Wright. Yeah. And they got to the sweet 16. Fairly easy, even though North Texas, you know, upset Purdue, and that made it a little easier for them. Yeah, there are there are some things that have changed this year

that I don't know if they're going to impact the future of the sport entirely. But one of the things that's changed is the coaches not wearing suits all the time. You just kind of gave up on that. I think that if it's Jay Wright or Tony Bennett, like those guys are suit guys. I get uncomfortable seeing them not wearing suits on the sidelines. Yeah, I'd agree. Like if we're talking about Huggy Bear, Huggy Bear should be allowed to wear like a robe and slippers.

And reputino is a suit guy. Yeah, white suit. Yep. Very one pant. Oh, I have something for you about reputino. Yeah. Yeah, no, we'll get to it. We'll get to Iona. OK. Yeah, I'm scared. Yeah. Yeah, you should be. OK. Is it? Do I have a stalker, too?

He's he's going for you now. Oh, fuck. Fuck. Keep listening, folks. I'm done. I'm done making. OK, yeah, stay. Stay tuned for that. But you're listening. I'll put it this way. If you've won a national championship, you should be required to wear a suit on the sidelines.

Bill Self. No. Everyone else. Yes. I like Bill Self in a suit. I think Bill Self has a nice like he's good. He's a good polo guy, but I agree. Coach K is a suit guy. Jay writes in the tournament. Yep. If he was in the tournament, which is I actually like it's been so long,

I can't even envision Duke in the tournament. What is Coach K doing right now? Do you think he's watching the games? Yeah, for sure. He's probably got a burner out there. You know what he's probably doing? He's probably writing down notes of every kid that took a three when they were up too much.

Yeah. Well, I'm going to have to going to have to go barge into that locker room next year and coach that team for him. Well, you know what it is. Coach K's probably got burners. He's probably the guy that was in the Ohio State players, like DMs on Instagram, like threatening his life. Dude, that was by the way, that sucks.

I know that we joke about like the burner lifestyle on the show, which I still appreciate. I love all the burners out there. Burner gang squad up. Shout out Youngstown Bob, my burner person. Yeah, but like it definitely goes way too far. Like that's fucked up. They're just kids.

Yeah, just kids, which I want to sell that shirt. But I realized out of context, it probably wouldn't be good to walk around with a shirt that she says. They're just kids. Yeah, because you can interpret that one or two ways by that one. By the death tax is an oral. Yeah. Actually, let's just put one on one on the back.

Death tax or on the back. They're just kids on the front. And then, yeah. Oh, fuck. All right. So. All right. Oh, the other thing I want to say, shout out, mean, shout out, North Texas, mean green.

Yeah, I just love. I love their jerseys. I love the mean green. I also did you know this? Fun fact, mean green is because of Joe Green. Yeah. Yeah. I for I don't even knew it. I thought that that was a fake out.

I thought somebody was psyching me out when they told me that. Yeah, there's no way. They renamed their entire program after Joe Green. Because no, and because the insers thought that North Texas, when Joe Green went to play for Pittsburgh, he was mean Joe Green. They thought the insers thought like is a classic like college friend meeting post college friends and being like, oh, I thought that just was your name. They thought he got the name mean Joe Green from Texas,

North Texas, because they were the mean green. And really, they just he he got it at North Texas, not because of North Texas. Wait, so he was renamed mean Joe Green. After North Texas, mean Joe Green. And then then he went to Pittsburgh and the insers were like, dude, that's sick that your team name is mean green. Yeah. And your last name's green. He's like, no, I don't know if I have that right.

I'm still a little confused by this. I think they named the team mean green after Joe Green. Look it up. Look it up. I'm looking at it right now. North Texas mean green on. They also have their nickname. They're their mascots Scrappy the Eagle. Right. So they were they were like the mascots out the albino squirrel.

Yeah, that's pretty cool. I like that too. I also wish every time I see UNT, I wish they were called the College University of North Texas. Yeah, that's probably that might be we could put that on a shirt too. Yeah, that would be very cool. Do you have a heck? It doesn't say I'm trying to find out what their mascot and name was before Joe Green.

Right. It looks like it was probably just the Eagles, though, because they have Scrappy. No, but I'm telling you, hold on, I'm going to find it. I'm going to find the albino squirrel is pretty fast. Here we go. Here we go. I'm going to read it to you. Ready? The name mean green was adopted by fans and media in 1966. For North, North Texas football defensive squad that finished the season

second in the nation with Joe Green. Hold on. Where did I read it? OK. It doesn't say anything about before, though. It sounds like they called their defense like the purple people leaders. It sounds like they gave that nickname to their defense because of me and Joe Green. And then they're like, you know what? The mean green is just a cool name. Let's stick with it. Kind of like the football team.

You win a division championship. Roll with the football team as your name. Yeah, I like my version better, though. I still don't really understand the official thing. It was the Pittsburgh was like, dude, how's your name? Your name's mean Joe Green because of Texas. And he's like, no, that's just because I'm mean. And my name's Joe Green.

And then they're like, but also North Texas is green, right? OK, I got it. I thought you were shit. Maybe we are mean mean green. I thought you were saying there was a battle going on between Yinsers and over how they got the name. Kind of like the license plate battle that always ridges on between Ohio and North Carolina about who invented the right brothers. Yeah, no, this was I just made this up in my head, I think now that I'm replaying it.

But I really like this version weekend. No, but I like this version. They were just like, damn, isn't that crazy coincidence that you played for the mean green and your last name's green and but it's not. There are some given takes to this opening weekend and how it's been scheduled out. Positive. All the brackets are we're lining them up. We're playing like one side of the bracket today. I love that it's easier to keep track of.

Negative. Our brains are just really turned to Chowder. I'm so confused. How did you get a podcast like this coming out on Monday morning? OK, wait, I guess I don't know what I'm getting. I got one last note about the south. I'm not going to say anything bad. Oh, I have two last notes. I'm not going to say anything bad about Purdue, but God damn it, Purdue.

The first time I think I've ever said nice things about Purdue and being like, watch out for Purdue. They fucking do that. So that will teach me to never be nice to Purdue again. And then the other note is shout out Virginia Tech for being the first team eliminated from the round of 64. And that's they had a great season. Yeah, congrats.

Number three in the ACC. You went you went to the big dancers here. Yep, that actually matters. OK. All right, let's go to the Midwest. Yeah, before we do that, a quick word from our friends at Outback Steakhouse. When the game is on, you don't want to leave the couch, but you do want to eat delicious food. You can get the best of both worlds with outback delivery.

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That is super, super easy. OK, Midwest. So turns out Loyola, Chicago is very, very good, which actually we knew. And if you want to make the argument that they were screwed with an eight seed and Illinois was screwed more being matched up with them as an eight seed, I'll buy that argument because they're not an eight seed. But holy shit, they they actually like kicked the shit out of of Illinois in Illinois is really, really good.

Like I thought Illinois, Illinois is my power rankings number one in the last three weeks of the season. Yeah. Well, I was right. I had a future on him like a sucker. Uh-huh. But it turns out that like Kofi Coburn, despite being like the biggest person to ever exist, can be defended against if you have just like a bunch of guys that are 30 pounds, kind of overweight with raggedy facial hair

that make insanely good passes. Cameron Crutwick. I love Cameron Crutwick. He is not overweight. He is a perfectly tuned athlete. He is a king. Sister Jean, I'm going to go off on Sister Jean real quick. Wait, did you you want to you want to read her pregame scouting?

Well, that's what I was going to say. Yeah, I'll read it. You go out and then you go off. So she did the pregame prayer. Yeah. And she said, as we play the fight and fighting a line, I we asked her special help to overcome the team and get a great win. We hope to score early and make our opponents nervous.

We have a great opportunity to convert rebounds as this team makes about 50 percent of layups and 30 percent of its three points. Our defense can take care of that. She thinks that she's Kirk Goldsbury. She thinks that she's an analytics person right now. Unreal. I I saw somebody react to this tweet. I have to echo the sentiment.

They said, Sister Jean, this is not a nice prayer. I'm not sure what they teach in Convict. But praying for victory of games and praying to have the opposition nervous is very Christian, but not very Christ follower like. So Sister Jean is being attacked. I she does tend to overshadow the players sometimes. You know what? I'm I'm not going to I'm not going to go off on Sister Jean like I thought I would.

Turns out she is a hundred and one year old nun. So it feels like maybe that might be an instance of potentially punching down a little bit. I think that's when you do go after. Speak truth to power. Yeah, exactly. Sister Jean's a witch. Well, here's the thing. No, I straight up think I think she's a witch. PFT. I Sister Jean like big God. If big God's given a prayer or big, big religion is given a presentation of why God exists.

Sister Jean should be the number one slide because, you know, we've all prayed to God for wins and it very rarely happens. Sister Jean is somehow just like not like has a direct line to God and being like, hey, can we get in a sweet 16 this year? That'd be nice. She might be coming for God's throne. That's what I'm saying. Like I think that she's a witch. I think the final four was nice. But can we, you know, maybe up the ante this time?

I think it's like a little dark magic. I think that she's trying to what she's doing right now. And big guy, you're falling for it. She's she's drawing people away from God's light and more towards Sister Jean's light. So it's like the Beatles saying they were bigger than Jesus. Is that what Sister Jean is doing? Is she usurping God? Is she the Meghan Markle of the Kingdom of Heaven? What a what an awesome encore for her, though.

We've been talking about the mean Joe Green thing. I think it's only fair that this is what Loyola Chicago does. Sister Jean. Yes. Becomes the name of the instead of the Ramblers. Yeah. They're the Sister Jean. Yes. The clutch. I mean, think about it. Every time you hear Loyola Chicago, you're going to think Sister Jean. Yeah, you are mean, Jean Green.

Also, I like that she doesn't even try to like clap anymore. She just like lightly pats her hand on the back of her hand, which might be because she's like 120. But I still anyone who's that efficient with their time and space, like I'm cool with that. But I do like watching Loyola play. Like, yeah, of course, they're awesome. The passes that Crutwig passes, it's crazy.

And also it's funny when you tweet about Crutwig at the same time as you're tweeting about soccer. People tend to think that you're not watching that. They're like, why are you talking about right? Why don't I talk about soccer, bro? It's like, no, Cameron Crutwig is not, in fact, a Bundesliga striker. Yeah, is a powerhouse of a center for Loyola Chicago. Here's a crazy thing.

Have you heard this? Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? People online tend to think that I look like Cameron Crutwig, because that's all my mentions. I don't see it. I don't see it. It's like so with Big Cat, if anybody is like a little heavy, a portly gentleman, a man who can afford good meals. And instead of talking about his weight, why don't you talk about his sick footwork?

Yeah, everyone knows about your drop step. That's what really reminds people. We're going to be like, oh, shit, have I seen that? Have I seen that footwork in the low post before? Oh, yeah, that's Big Cat. Yeah, Big Cat's got eyes in the back of his head. Like, he's a great pass. But anytime someone's like a little chunkier

might have some facial hair, it's Big Cat. Anytime there's a man or a woman with long hair and sunglasses, it's me. Yeah. I feel bad for Illinois. They had an unbelievable season. They just got like straight up. They got out coach. They got out coach.

Brad Underwood got his his lunch stolen by Porter Moses. He got sweaty again. Did you notice that Porter Moser? What is that? I think it's Moser. I can. I can. Porter Moses, though. Never not.

It's fucking God. God's on this team. Why don't you think their coach is named Moses? Let me. Well, if it was Moses, a journalist here, Jake, in March, like I want to write my byline. The lead will be. You thought they were led by God and Sister Jean.

Turns out Moses is their coach. There you go. It is Porter Moses, Moser. Moses either way. Loyal Chicago is fucking good. There's seven in Ken Palm now. They're the seventh ranked team in Ken Palm. That's why I think like if you're Illinois,

I think your range of emotions are one, Brad Underwood really fucked this game up. Two, that was an awesome season. And you're probably in good hands. And yeah, it didn't work out, but whatever. Illinois has had a rough go of it for a while. So it's good that they're back. And then three, they got totally fucked by the fact

that Loyal Chicago was an eight in their fucking bracket. Yeah. And that team is really goddamn good. Yeah, they made. Yeah, they made a lot of people look like fools picking against them. Hand up. I did that too.

And now they get to move on. It looks like they're going to play against Oregon State. There's seven minutes left. No, let's not. 745. Oregon State's the best team in the country as of right now. Listen, I have a significant. I went on tilt after I lost all my potential earnings

and donations in about a 30 30 minute span when Rutgers went out and then Florida blew it at the end. And so then I went on tilt, overcorrected the other way, fired a missile at Oregon State. So I'm hoping I'm hoping they can keep up that spread right now because that would be wonderful for me personally. But then Loyola against Oregon State, like Loyola is going to go to the lead eight.

Well, if Oregon State wins this game, and we'll fit it by the end of the show, we'll know. They have like, the way they're playing right now, they have some of those Yukon vibes where Yukon just wasn't the best team and then they just didn't lose after going, no, wait, that was the Kemba year, was when they didn't lose going from the Big East. The year that they won as the ASEED, was that right Jake?

They were seven in 2014, a three in 2011. They won as a seven. They won as both. With Kevin Olly. Yeah, that was Shabazz. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right, right. But Oregon State's just getting hot at the right time. The other thing with this bracket.

Q's. Yeah, Syracuse. The zone. The zone. The zone will fuck you over. Those first two minutes, West Virginia was lost. Everyone's got a plan until they get zoned in the face. You think that you know the zone,

and like looking at the matchup going into this, it's like Huggy Bear used to coach in the Big East. He's seen the zone a few times, but you think that you know the zone. The zone has a way of sneaking up on you and you can't. It's funny because I actually think that there's something to, we talked about the Lost Star, the mid-range jumper, and how like nobody shoots, you know,

15, 16 foot jump shots anymore. Nato has the one point line to discourage kids from shooting it. That's actually kind of a weakness in that zone. You get a lot of looks from like 15, 16 feet, and the kids don't practice that shot anymore. Right, it's so shot to make. Yeah, so it's actually kind of worked its way back into fashion. And it's honestly like the most perfect invention

in the history of college basketball. Like, I can't think of a gimmicky type offense or defense besides maybe the triple option at certain schools that has existed for this long and will always fuck you up even when you know that it's coming for you. Yeah, well, the zone, you know it's coming and it still will like, it hits you like a fucking car.

Yeah, dude, the zone in the first half, there were like air balls, there were side of the rim bricks. West Virginia passes were to nobody. Yeah, Jake didn't even see that. No, I was watching the game. Yeah, sorry. The zone, it just hit you like a car. I thought you were talking about Liam.

No, I was talking about Jim Beahime hitting people with his car. Yeah, that thing even there. People really don't do forget that. That picture of Jim Beahime's in 16. Handing Tony Stewart, Syracuse, Tony Stewart Jersey. Unreal, it can't be real. I think it's real.

It can't be real. All right, Buddy Beahime is incredible, by the way. Buddy Beahime is a great reminder why we aren't NBA scouts. I don't want to steal like Gar Forman and John Paxton's territory here, but I always see the best player in the tournament. I'm like, that guy's the best player in the world.

Buddy Beahime would be my number one pick if I were the Houston Rockets. Buddy Beahime, dude, he can't miss. He has gone, he scored 25 points. He went six for 13 in the last four games, which are all like post-season games, ACC tournament and the NCAA tournament. He's shooting 55% from three.

He's 24 for 43. He just doesn't miss. I would use my first pick on him. I'm telling you, he is going to be a 10 time all-star in the NBA. Meanwhile, Kate Cunningham can hit a shot. Yeah, there you go. It's weird.

So Buddy Beahime is the ultimate guy that you post the gif of the guy walking on fire. Anytime Buddy Beahime makes two threes in a row because the orange pops, the flames work. But your mind, you tend to underestimate Buddy Beahime when you first see him because you just think that he's Brad Calipari. And Brad Calipari, what's his tattoo earned?

Earned not given. Brad Calipari earned so that Buddy Beahime could give. And Buddy Beahime is giving big returns. Jake was like, take the over on his three pointers and it was like the easiest bet. Is this real name, buddy? I believe so. I love that.

And his brother is Jimmy. You know why he plays at Cornell? Jimmy and Buddy. Oh, sorry, Jimmy. What? What do you mean what? They have the Beahime Bowl every year. Not this year's.

Buddy Beahime just took his dad to the sweet 16. The Buddy Beahime Bowl. And Jimmy's season got canceled. I'm gonna go into the education. Yeah, you're right. That's really gonna do great. Buddy Beahime can fucking... Oh, look at that, the Buddy Bowl.

I love it. Wait, so how does that work though? Like in terms of when Jim was raising both these kids, did he have to stop feeding buddies so he could recruit them? Yeah. Or do we have to export? Buddy Beahime, like naming your son Buddy

is essentially saying I want a friend. I have no friends. Yeah. It's like my only friend in life is Coach K. Yeah, yeah. They got Broden Buddy out there this weekend. It's Coach K and then Mike Wilbon for like two weeks a year.

Oh my God, Syracuse fucking grads are so annoying. What? We don't give them enough credit. What do I do? We always go after Northwestern grads but Syracuse blue checks are the worst. And there was a big J fight on the streets last night. I think it was Frank Asola was saying,

well, Jake, you remember probably verbatim when he was saying about like... He's like when Northwestern not in the tournament, Maryland now has the best journalism school left. Yeah. Oh, fighting words. And at the time, I don't think that Mizzou had been eliminated either.

Oh, wow. It was right after Mizzou, okay, that makes sense. Speaking of... Well, he called, this is the real shot that he took. He called Syracuse journalists celebrity broadcasters. Oh, that's true. He took... They're glory boys.

He put a dot above your J. Yeah, they are glory boys. That's true. Yeah, I also see someone tweeted at us September 13, 2017, 247 sports coach visit. Jim behind from Syracuse visits buddy behind. That's great. Speaking of, we missed the greatest gambling trend

of all time this weekend. Are you ready for it? I'm like actually very upset at ourselves. How many times will they play? Thank God I'm a country boy. It's no, this is a system that we somehow escaped us and I'm beating myself up about it. So Q-Speak, West Virginia, shout out Bob Huggins.

Legend of the game gets his 900th win on Friday night. Love, huggy bear, sock that they lost. But Pat 40 said, I can't even say it's a straight face. I saw this. Not saying this is a causal relationship, but the three coaches who seem the least interested in wearing their masks this season were Brad Underwood, Bob Huggins, and Chris Beard.

Gone, gone, gone. So if you don't wear your mask, your team will lose in the tour. Jesus Christ. How is that guys brain like real? Even if you are like. Who tracks that? Yeah, even if you're the most cautious person in the world when it comes to masks,

like Jake is extremely cautious about this. To make the leap that like, wow, was he saying that this is like a judgment that's been cast upon them by karma? Or was he saying that there's something. So by that theory, we should have won more on madness than you should have won your Bitcoin. Exactly, yes.

It also is very, like yeah, is there an analytics department? Was Pat 40 just watching every game and like, well, I've tracked it and Bob Huggins didn't have his mask around his nose for a total of 18 minutes and 23 seconds of game time. Well, I mean, Nate Oates is a guy that he was criticized this year

for being like lax with his mask policies. And last I checked, Alabama's doing pretty good. Yeah, the other one we had was, it's hard to know, this is from Dan Woken. It's hard to know if there's a connection, but Roger Ayres, the ref who tested positive for COVID on Monday, officiated the A10 title game Sunday

between VCU and St. Bonaventure. He also worked Georgia Tech Miami on Thursday. It's hard to know if there's a connection, but here's my connection that I'm making. No, it's great. I'm a scientist. Whenever you start to take out with, it's hard to know a connection

then you make the connection. At that point, you're arguing against yourself already. These guys are just waking up being like, okay, how can I figure out a way to weave COVID into my takes at all times today? Well, I think it's one of these things where a lot of sports journalists like to, at some point they realize that they do not like sports enough

to just enjoy sports. And so they have to like branch out to something bigger. They find something bigger that's more meaningful, whether that's like politics or health or whatever expertise that they try to like moonlight as. But it's okay to just like, like the NCAA tournament. Yes, yes. And enjoy watching basketball.

Have a good time. That's okay to do too. Just hang out and watch some basketball. Yeah, give your brain a break. The last game in this bracket, Rutgers, Houston, Rutgers loses a devastating game. Yeah. PFT and Jake lost a Bitcoin.

No, I wasn't, I was just PFT. It's me and Brandon. Oh, you and Brandon. But I was going to donate my share of the Bitcoin to TJ. Yeah, the Barstool Fund lost thousands of thousands of dollars from this podcast that we would have built. Well, small businesses lost. Right, small businesses.

Yeah. I, so I guess the only spin zone for Rutgers is like, you feel something. You feel something. You want a game. You want a game in the tournament. We're not taking that away from you. The game against Clemson was electric.

They played their guts out against Houston. I hate to use the term was the moment too big at the end of the game. The moment might have seemed too big for Rutgers. And Houston. I actually don't hate using. I love using that term after I said it. I was like, fuck, yeah, that sounded like I knew what I was talking about.

Dude, Houston has to be the, like, blandest, least likable team that's good at basketball. Like, who likes who likes Houston? Kelvin Sampson is a jerk. Like, who likes is he? Is he a jerk? Well, I mean, it hasn't got like a million infractions. Oh, no.

Oh, no. I mean, what is it? Yeah, I don't know. He's a jerk. He's a jerk. No, I think he did. I want to say, you know what I think it was? Bruce Pro, who do Indiana for two years in Oklahoma.

What did he do? I think he left some recruits in limbo. So I think actually jerk slumdog millionaire moment, I think he had like recruited Scotty Reynolds, Villanova superstar to go to Oklahoma and then just like walked out. I might be getting the tears. Gordon. But but he like recruited people, got their commitments

and then just abandoned them. He's had a bunch of either way, whatever, I don't like him. And I don't like Houston. Sorry, Houston. Like, who's who's even a fan of Houston? I do like their hand signal. So you're right, this is how unlikeable Houston is. Their hand sign is the shocker.

Yeah. It's the two fingers in one and they're called the Cougars. And we don't even care enough to make sex jokes about them. Right. And the Houston is essentially the bad guy villain foe for like the team that you're rooting for in the Disney movie. Yeah. They're big Houston Cougars and like they have no real personality

and just like they're always good, but never really good. Except in football where Dana is doing a tremendous job. Obviously, I totally forgot about that. But yes, we love Dana Holgerson and that football team is incredible. And fuck, I love Houston. Legitimately love Houston. No, football wise, their stadium is awesome. I went.

That's our PFT. I went for I went for for six. So we're going to die. Hank, would have been nice if you threw in the fact that Dana was at Houston when I started this. You know, but everything you just said, if they can start winning, then they'll be, you know, the bad boys, the big, bad powerhouse.

Houston, Dylan, the one was a heel. Aren't they the team that they're always there and they're good. I'm not saying they're not good. They are a good team. But Rutgers is this plucky underdog. They haven't been in the tournament in like 40 years. They're fucking winning. And then Houston's like, no, we're just going to take this.

Yeah. So if I'm Houston, you've got to realize that you have an image problem. And the best way to solve an image problem is generally through nostalgia. And the best way they can do that is just label their team Fislam, a jamma, and just focus on dunking for a year. Yeah. That's all it takes. Like we still call Gulf Coast, Dunk City, right?

Yeah. That's still their nickname. And they might not have anyone who can actually touch rim anymore. You're actually if they just focus on dunking for one year, call themselves Fislam, a jamma to like the return of the dunk. Then from that point on, it's like, oh, yeah, Houston. They dunk a lot and people love them. Yes, you're actually. Yeah, we need to do a throwback because you're right.

Hakeem Elijah one is a beloved like everyone loves Hakeem Elijah one. That guy was incredible. Clyde Drexler, like the whole thing. You're right. So go back to that. Like NC State has been living off their title forever. Yeah. Do that. Jim Vovano. Right. Just do that. Rutgers legend. Chicago Bears been living off.

Like there's you can just say if our image right now isn't so great, just every like month and a half have Jim Belushi do a documentary about your team. Also, big J's love to drop to Houston. We have a problem whenever they lose. That's true. That's going to be a tough one to shake. I just don't know. Like there's something about Houston where I just watched them.

I'm like, these guys, they're because I think it's really the fact that they just don't play. The AC is a tough conference. It's tough conference and they don't play. They just beat the shit out of everyone, but you never know if they're really for real. They play good defense and their games are ugly. I don't know. It's just something about Houston.

I think it's the fact that it's it's a big state school. It's in the fourth biggest city in the United States, but we don't look at it the same way that we look at other big state school. Like I look at the University of Wisconsin. I'm like, that's a state school. Right. Houston is, you know, they're not even a little brother in Texas. When you think of like they're a huge campus. They've got like, I don't know, 50,000 people that go to school there.

But when I think of Texas, excuse me, that's that's all the acid creeping up on me. I didn't that's okay before the show. I think of like University of Texas. I think of A&M. I think of Baylor before I think of Houston. Yes, even though they're not even a state school, like Houston has not done a good job representing themselves as being like we're Texas. Yes. No, you're right. You're absolutely right.

And I'm looking at their yeah, because I'm looking at their recent tournament history. This is exactly why the last three years they've gone, they were at second round, lost to Michigan. I remember that game, they lost by one point. They almost won with the buzzer beater. That was the worst and we have a problem. Yeah, they went to the street 16, lost to Kentucky. And now they're in the street 16 again.

So I always respect them as a good team. But yeah, I guess they have to go to the final four for me to be like, you know what, I don't hate Houston. Yeah, more just like a they just snatch other teams dreams. I don't hate them. I just wish that they weren't as boring. And I mean, the fact is they're just a football school. Yeah, Dana is just the priority.

Oregon State holds on here. It's a eight, a 12, a 10 in the way of Houston. The whole shit. Did they even talk about Houston joining the Big 12? Was that ever even a part of the convo back in 2012 or whenever it was? I'm not sure. So that's a big misstep right there. At least get your name in the discussion for it.

Yeah. All right. PFT. Yeah, we had a few cores like this weekend, didn't we? The mountains were very blue. This weekend. Oh, shit. Here. Malmastick. Here's console. 10 seconds.

OK. Hank, you went money line or would you do? I have the over. I have a lot. I need the over. OK. I've got the spread. So I think I'm probably still good on that.

I had the over in Oregon State Parade, Oregon State Money Line. And then I also bet Oklahoma State Money Line when they're down in half time. So the over doesn't hit. I'm down bad, but we're good. Yeah. But the mountains were extremely blue this weekend. I love blue mountains.

We can't get enough of people tweeting us how blue their mountains are. I've seen the bluest mountains and I grew up not too far from the Appalachians, which are the Blue Ridge Mountains. These mountains are blue. These mountains are fucking blue when you're drinking a cold Coors Light. We love March Hoops.

If there's anything better than March Hoops, it's Coors Light and March Hoops. You've been waiting an entire year for this to come back. You filled this void in all of your time with a bunch of things that brought you no chill like a bread maker or a fancy exercise bike. Couldn't be me. You've been looking for love in all the wrong places,

but now March Hoops are back and there's nothing more chill than grabbing a cold Coors Light and watching all the games. There's only one beer out there that's literally made to chill. That's Coors Light. The mountains on the bottles and cans, they even turn blue when your beer is cold. That's the best part of it.

Honestly, that's the best part. I've been drinking exclusively Coors Light since they came on board as our sponsor. It's my favorite light beer in the world. I think it's Big Cat's favorite light beer in the world. Absolutely. I know that it's Billy's favorite light beer. Actually, Billy's favorite light beer

is whatever he can steal from our office, but Coors Light is delicious. We love it. Coors Light is letting fans trade in the crap that didn't bring them chill for Coors Light. So if you went out, if you're in Las Vegas and Atlanta, you can receive up to two cases of Coors Light when you donate the extra stuff

that you collected during quarantine based on the weight of those items and beer. My one dumbbell that I bought, that goes up to 75 pounds, remember that? Yep. That's a lot of beer. That's a lot of Coors Light. So if you know somebody who has a ton of stuff piled up

that brings no chill to your home or if you have a big pile of stuff in your office, maybe, I don't know anybody like that. It's in this room right now. You can bring it in Las Vegas and Atlanta and get up to two cases of Coors Light, stock up with Coors Light and Coors Seltzer to make sure that you're ready to chill in this game time

and get them both delivered straight to your door with Drizly or Instacart. Tweet at us with hashtag Coors PMT Lottery too this March with a picture of your Coors Light or your Coors Seltzer and a lottery ball number for a chance to win PMT Coors jumpsuit, they're sick jumpsuits. Celebrate responsibly, Coors Brewing Company, Golden Colorado, manufacturers rebate,

alcohol purchase required, 21 plus ends 327.21. Avoid where prohibited. Visit bit.ly slash cl trade-in rules for details. Okay, we're gonna watch the end of this Oklahoma State game as we go to the next side of the bracket. This is fucking crazy, man. I can't believe we have eight games tomorrow. I can't believe we have eight more games tomorrow.

I'm just, this is, I feel so bad if you live, if you're an Oregon fan and your game starts at nine o'clock on a Monday. Oh, that's tough. Although maybe that's good. And then you get to watch their team play. Yeah, they didn't get a chance to. Yeah, that's good point, Jake.

Stinks, feel for these. One thing I've learned this weekend in watching so much basketball with Jake Marsh is I can't watch sports with Jake Marsh. Jake is pure. He's a pure guy. You know what, I actually discovered a different side of Jake this weekend

because we were teamed up in the gambling contest. I spent a lot of time with him. Jake's not a gambler, but he was this weekend. He becomes a very negative, aggressive person when watching games that he's betting. Like, he, the dog comes out. Jake dog comes out. Oh yeah, yes you do.

Like anytime, anytime something is like 50-50, Jake's like, we're fucked. It's over. Like, he closes his computer. He's like, we're fucked. We're fucked. I like that side of the world, isn't it? There's also, there was 10K on the line.

Yeah, no, I, well, we were gonna donate some of it. Okay, yeah. It was 5K for you. It was 4K. Okay. Okay. Your positivity, which is pure and I love it. Like, I genuinely love it because it's very rare.

We live in a very narcissistic, or not narcissistic. Yes, that's it. What was I gonna say? We're pessimistic. Pessimistic, there it is. Synical, altruistic. That's what I was going for. Synical and pessimistic society.

And Jake is pure and enjoys sports and loves March Madness. But when Wisconsin's getting like their Baylor's nuts dragged in their face with alley-oops and dunks and they're down 12 and I hear from the back row, that's all right, big cat, just need a little run. I'm just like, shut the fuck up, Jake. Like, let me die in peace. But he was also thinking of the spread

when he said that to you. He was like, oh yeah, big cat doesn't have plus eight. He actually wants his team to advance. Either way, I love you, Jake. And I can watch sports with you. I love, you're in love for March Madness. But it is right. They get to watch their team compete in Oregon.

They didn't get to do that. They played against, or they didn't play against VCU, who I guess they advanced. VCU advances to play against what Ian Book and Jack Cohn and the COVID region of Billy's bracket. Yes, yes, yes. All right, let's go, let's go to that bracket. So that will, you know, let's start with that.

Oregon advances. They're playing Iowa. I'm gonna say something nice about Iowa. Iowa is fucking good, okay? Iowa fans, they are, I'm ready to admit it. They're fucking good. They are. I still don't like Luca Garza,

but I think Iowa is gonna beat Oregon. Is that just because you think that Iowa is turbo Wisconsin? No, it's because we don't got a lot left in the big 10, buddy. Yeah. Oh, you root for an entire division? That's weird. Oh yeah, I saw some people tweeting me and being like,

I was like, dude, you don't understand the difference between college, or college sports and NFL. What is the difference? The fact that you get money, like you get, if you get bowl games, you get money. You personally get money? No, the schools do. Okay.

The schools get money. So the success of this, of the conference actually matters for that. You get, you know, the benefit of the doubt when doing the seeding, when doing March Madness, when doing bowl games, when doing college football playoffs, when that gets money, all that matters. So you actually take that seriously?

No, I hate, and I actually will say, I hate Iowa and I hate Ohio State and I hate all these schools. You won't actually say you hate the Philadelphia Eagles and the Dallas Cowboys. It's funny that we're actually having this conversation because I think that our relationship with the divisions is exactly the same.

I don't think it's even remotely the same. I think it's exactly the same. The Dallas Cowboys success doesn't help you. No, you're right. It doesn't help me at all. Iowa's success does help Wisconsin when it comes to if they get better bowl games. But you would still rather have them lose.

No, I would, I'm sick of getting, I'm sick of everyone saying the Big Ten sucks. Like, it doesn't, no. That's exactly me. No, it's not. To a tee. What? With the NFC for one year?

Yeah, well, it's been. You're right, one year. So I've been saying this for a few years because the best part about the NFC is you get, What? Yeah, you get to. Here's what happened. You hated the Giants this year under the radar.

I kept on saying the Giants were an average team. You would say, no, they're not. And Giants fans came at you and you're like, all right, I'll just start rooting for the entire NFC East. No, that's not at all what happened. That's what happened. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because the best thing that you could say back in the day

was like in the early 2000s, mid 2000s was, yeah, the NFC beast, we used to beat each other up back in the day. We had that run from 1986 through 1995. We're, we're, it's all like pointing back to that era, the golden era of the NFC beast. So it's always like on the horizon of like, this is our resurgence as a division. That's, that's what I tap into

when I tap into the NFC beast fandom. But you do understand how different it is for college sports when it comes to like everything. I know that I do understand conference. There's a tangible bonus right you get from it. But I still think that you would rather see a big 10 team lose. I was, I see Iowa, like their arrival in, in football,

like Ohio State, I'd rather, I laughed. I thought that was hilarious. I wasn't like rooting for Ohio State against Oral Roberts. I don't give a fuck. I do think that like, it would be nice if the big 10 could win a national title once in a while. So that everyone's like, you suck. You don't, you know, like they, they then just,

it's a trickle down effect with the entire conference. So I will lessen my fraud label on Iowa, but it's only in the interest of potentially getting a retweet from George K. DeLexin point. I'm just saying this because it will be hilarious if I say all this nice stuff about Iowa. And by the time this podcast comes out, they've lost. This is a strategic play on my part.

So Iowa, they, I mean, it was a 215. So I don't know what you can take away from that. I thought that Luca looked nice. He didn't look as sweaty and slippery. And, and like, what's the word I'm looking for with a pale, smooth, skinned, slippery individual who's kind of big and hairy. Yeah.

There's a word out there, alumics. Well, he is a lot. A galoot. Luca is like Luca's size. If we were 300 years ago, he would be the most famous person in this, like in a thousand mile radius of where he was born. Have you heard of Luca?

Yeah. Have you heard of the man who can throw rocks over his head? Yeah, well, yeah, he's 10 feet tall and can shoot fireballs out of his arms. He is. He would be the king of Iowa. Yes, he would. He would be Mr. Corn.

He would. I thought that they played perfectly, a perfectly nice brand of basketball. No, I'm just, I'm literally just saying this, just so that if they lose, it would be funny. Like, oh, I said something nice about Iowa. All right. So Oregon's gonna play them.

Gonzaga, they're just really, really good. And they're going to probably cakewalk to the final four. Ohio. Ohio is the story of the tournament. I hope, I know that Jake will have this on his one shining moment. But Ohio has Jason Preston who, if you've been watching College Basketball,

you know who he is. They beat Illinois in November, kind of shocked them in Champaign. But he is the story of the tournament because he's a former blogger, turned college basketball player, turned possible NBA player. And his story is awesome

because he went from high school, average two points a game. Skip Baylis. Went to UCF, grew four inches as a freshman, went back to like a prep school. Wait, he went back to high school? Yes. Like never been kissed?

Yes. Was awesome there. Never been recruited. This is a fucking teen movie. Made a mixtape for himself that Bo Ryan's son, Will, who was on the Ohio's coaching staff saw. They recruited him and now he just upset Virginia,

the reigning national champs. And he's got awesome hair. He's really good at basketball. He used to be a Pistons blogger. He's the story of the tournament. He's the one that if Ohio can win tomorrow against Creighton, there will be so many stories written about him. That's my guy now.

Yes. Jason Preston, he's awesome. So I hadn't heard all these stories about the most impressive thing that you said right there to me was the fact that he was a Pistons blogger. Yes. So like a Pistons blogger in high school

for like the last five years, you didn't really have that much to write about. The fact that you were dedicated to writing about those Pistons tells me that you are open invite. I want to hire this guy. And if you don't make it to the NBA, I want to hire him, but just as a Pistons blogger. And he's got also the sentimental.

He was very, so he's from Orlando. His mom was a big Pistons fan. They bonded over it. His mom tragically passed away, I think from cancer when he was 16. So I'm telling you, if they make it to the next, it's street 16. Jim Nance is going to like just be openly sobbing

with the story that he's going to be telling about this kid on our screen. He is going to be a darling of March that the whole world talks about. What year is he? He's a junior. So not eligible for the tie. Not eligible for the tie.

But he's a blogger, so he probably wouldn't accept the tie. Right. Not part of the outfit, but yeah. Well, they'd have to win a national title for the eligible. Yeah, they also have Gonzaga if they win tomorrow. Well, you're saying Gonzaga's good? A little bit. I am not rooting for Ohio.

He's awesome. He's an awesome player. Ohio was just better than that. I mean, Virginia was up for a while, but they went to their classic Virginia. We're just not going to score for forever. By the way, Oregon State has won. Oregon State's the hottest team in the country.

Let's go. They're incredible. The Beavers. Shout out to Beavers. Eight, a 12, an 11, and a two. Wait, what region? Wow. Just looking real quick here.

What are we, we'd have to get to the final four to get a Beaver oral matchup. Yes. Okay. Yeah. It's a long way away. It's a long way away. But either way, yeah, Jason Preston tomorrow

and also they call him poor man's Lamello because he's got the same hair. Okay. But Lamello got hurt. So maybe he's a rich man's Lamello. Lamello fell for the rest of the season, which sucks. Lamello is rich. Like 99.999% of people could be a poor man's Lamello.

True, true. So yeah, he is the guy that everyone should root for. He's the guy that's gonna get talked about. The guys that almost became the darlings of March Madness were the Groves brothers from Eastern Washington that had cans on the ropes in the first half. One of them looks like a lumberjack. The other looks like Bob Dylan.

No, they were straight up. It was super bad. Yeah. It was the cover of super bad. If it was about, if Teen Wolf meets super bad, that's what you get with the Groves brothers. I was rooting hard for them. I always like a good brothers team.

Yes. And you get lots of brothers teams in March Madness. And it also, like, I know that they're just brothers, but you gotta just go by twins. Yeah. Like it's way better to be the Grove twins than the Groves brothers. I was disappointed when I heard that they were,

I actually, I assumed they were twins. Yeah, just say you're twins. And then when they're like, no, they're just brothers. Even if they're like, you know, just lie and say, Irish twins. There probably are Irish twins. Like born, what, eight months apart? Yeah.

Like it's like the, it's the, the Martin brothers in Nevada, shout out, my boss. They were actually twins, but that just made them that much better. The Caleb and Cody Martin. Like the Morris twins. Yeah. They, you just gotta be twins.

I just like the idea. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito. Danny DeVito. Yeah. I like the idea of twins, like changing out. If one twin sucks and then, or one twin gets in foul trouble, the good twin does.

And then they just switched jerseys at halftime real quick. Yeah. And then they come out and it's like, wow, the bad twin got good all of a sudden. We're gonna bench this guy for the rest of the game. Buddy and Jimmy. Yeah. Bayheim, the twins.

But yeah, they were the, you need to win a game to be a true March Madness story. And they were that close. Yeah. Well, they are, they are definitely going to be in Jake's list of what we're trying to do. Our guy, Rico Bosco said that he watched Bill Self

do a beeline to Tanner Groves, the better of the twins, who I think is a senior at Eastern Washington, potential grad transfer to Kansas next year. So that would be incredible. And he was, he was a big guy, Harry, big guy who could shoot the three off. Like there are certain March people, March guys,

Jason Preston is one of them. Like they're just March Madness stories. Yeah. That you just love and you just see them on the screen. You're like, oh, that's a March Madness story. Yeah. I miss those guys. I miss like all the storylines, all the weird shit that comes out.

This guy, you know what they should do? There should be a tournament every year for teams that are eliminated where you take the best guys from all the teams that just got bounced and you let them play in one final game, like an all-star game. They do have a three V three at the final four.

They can start winning money for the seniors. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I like that. So they would, both the twins would definitely be on my list. Who else would be there? There was one other big. Well, camera can't wake obviously.

Yeah. But he's still around. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We'll update the list as we go. Okay. Give me another name. Another name that will be on there. Who got bounced?

Who got bounced? UCSB had some guys. The Gouchos are just cool. Yeah. They're just a cool name. That was tough. They have J. Rock McLaughlin. And Grand Canyon, the Analogs.

J. Rock? J. Rock. There was a guy in Cleveland State, I think that cried like a lot, a lot a lot. Just kids. Yeah. Just kids. If you're the biggest crier, the one who's like the most upset after a loss,

I want that guy to get another shot. I don't want that to be the last time he sees a basketball court pick yet. I remember that, because there was also a guy in Texas Southern who was crying a lot a lot. And again, they're just kids. So I'm not gonna say anything bad,

but they're just kids. But like, if you're a 16 seed, did you really think you're gonna win? Yeah, but you see in their face and their emotions, like the realization that this might be the last time. They were down 20. I put on this shirt. Well, no, no, because it's the COVID year.

That's true. So they can all keep playing. Yeah. But I think the biggest crier should get a spot. Yes. Just be a crier spot. Yes. Before we get to the last part of the brackets,

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What can't. It's the best. I'm happy because I, so I got fucked by Oregon State like last Friday in the Pac-12 tournament, and this is, it's a dangerous thing because you can go spiked, or you can be like, hey, you know what,

let's just roll with them. I thankfully have gone, let's just roll with them, and I bet on them last three games and it's been awesome. If you can't beat them, join them. Yeah, you have to, you have to make that decision very quickly, like, are you gonna have some fun and just fucking roll with it? Or are you gonna be like, fuck them,

I'm gonna keep fading them till they lose? You know what? I was just thinking one other kind of bonus about this March Madness, and don't get me wrong, I don't like the setup. I like Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday for the first round. Agreed.

My body is all screwed up. Monday's gonna suck for you. If you have like a nine to five job, it's gonna be awful. It's gonna be bad for me too, because I'm gonna be flying, but this whole weekend with the game on Monday, it's like daylight savings time took on an entire day.

Right. It like pushed my entire week back 24 hours. Right, and we still, like I still watched all the Thursday games, so it felt like Thursday, like Thursday had seven or eight hours of basketball. Right. You had a 16 seed game.

Right. Great job by the NCAA, scheduling two blue bloods playing. That actually made everybody want to watch all the games on Thursday night, because having UCLA and Michigan State go up against each other, it was like, it felt like a tournament game at that point, so it felt like a tournament day.

My prediction is the NCAA is gonna think about doing something similar to that next year. I don't know if it's gonna be like the entire schedule's thrown off again, but they'll definitely have like the two biggest names that are, they might even, there might be some monkey business when it comes to the last four in,

where they don't invite teams like smaller alumni bases. They just get two bona fide like giant state schools to square off in that first game for ratings. Right, right. So, and also shout out Tom Izzo for getting angry. Listen, Tom Izzo, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna put all of my curry ball complaints on Tom Izzo, and we'll call it Izzo ball.

The end of that game was case in point, players don't drive to the bucket anymore. Yes. In the last 10 seconds of the game. Well, that's a perfect segue to Abilene Christian in the East, driving to the bucket, getting a completely fucked up phantom call that was not a foul, but that's the point,

that if you go to the bucket, sometimes things can happen. That game was to say it was a rock fight is like it just is actually really offensive to rock fights because there was a moment where it's the end of Saturday night and Texas has 23 turnovers, and the like, they had to stop,

the rest had to stop the game for like the fourth time in three minutes, because someone was gushing blood, and you're like, what is going on here? And Abilene Christian's coach has a fucking clear herpy on alleged herpy cold sore, where like, dude. A double lipper, it was on top and bottom. Literally, this is the greatest year to have a herpy outbreak during the tournament,

just keep your goddamn mask on. That's what I'm saying, Pat Ford, he should have tweeted about that guy instead of everybody else. I can't believe it. That guy hates wearing masks so much that he won't even cover up a herp, a double herp, and he also looked a lot like Will Must Champ, by the way,

which was pretty funny to see him getting sweaty and screaming at Texas, because it might have just been Will Must Champ. We don't know, but at the end of that game, there was a, I think they had to take a double time out towards the end, because there's too much blood. The floor was bleeding, like it was like you were, you were watching the game in a haunted house

that you were staying at, and like house sitting for a weekend, the floor was just, it was oozing blood up from the ground. It was a crazy end of the game, they took the ball to the hole, a guy who was a what, 56% foul shooter, goes to the line, makes both of them. I mean, that's the most clutch foul shots

that I've seen in a long time. Incredible, the game was just, it was terrible, but great, and it was March in every, like when people say, how can you watch college basketball, it's not like even close to the NBA product, like no duh. The NBA is incredible. The shot we had, we had our guy, Blake Griffin, who dunks no big deal,

up in one corner watching the Nets game, and if you just glanced up there, and you saw like any open shot, just be a perfect swish, you're like, whoa, what sport is that? That's not what we're watching, we're just bricks, bricks, bricks, but it's the drama, and it's the fact that this game sucked,

but it was incredible, but shout out to that coach. So Joe Golding, I saw this tweet from Chris Vanini, he said, so Abilene Christian joined division one basketball in 2014, since then their Ken Palm rankings, 348, 342, 317, 298, 262, 152, 184, and now 80. So it's literally, you can watch him build this program until this point where they beat an in-state team, Shaka Smart, this was like the resurgence year

for Shaka Smart, who- Saved his job. You have to shave your head again, dude. I mean, the fact that you shaved your head and you had that air is still, like bald people everywhere hate Shaka Smart. It's jarring looking at him. It's very strange.

I mean, the nice thing, I always compare him to Bill Salt, or not Bill Salt, Rick Barnes, and Shaka Smart's performance at least wasn't as bad as the University of Tennessee's. So I still think I'm gonna chalk this. This year goes to Shaka Smart. Yes, it was, Texas, I mean,

turning the ball over 23 times is impressive. That's impressive. Like that's really, really hard to do. And then the horns down at the end. Oh, can't have the horns down. I love the horns down. This is back. All right, other parts of this bracket.

Turns out what I said last week about everyone talking about how the Georgetown was incredible in Patrick Ewing and the Big East Tournament. Turns out, maybe not so much. So Colorado just torched them. Yeah. Hank got in my own head and just walked around saying, you gotta respect the Big East.

And I asked him to name the teams of the Big East. He got six. Seven. Six. One and a half. Louisville, Syracuse. He's the South Florida. Yeah.

So the Big East. He got in my head. I don't want to say I told you something about Georgetown, but I told you exactly so when we interviewed Stanford Steve. Yeah, no, I said, this is a 2-T. And I feel bad rooting in Georgetown because I like Georgetown.

I want to root for Georgetown. I want to be like, this is the return of old school, punch you in the face, no blood, no foul basketball. I want to root for my like Patrick Ewing. I think he's a nice guy. I think he's obviously like a living legend. He's probably doing good stuff at Georgetown. But it was just, it was all the warning signs

were blinking bright red saying, this is not the team that you want to bet on. I said it on Sunday night, like they beat, it's great they won the Big East. But the Big East was not the Big East this year with some of the problem. Nova getting all the injuries. The P-bomb from Doug McDermott.

Like the other team, Marquette wasn't good. Seton Hall was a disappointment. LSU, the St. Bonner Ventures was another, that was the Winthrop effect where everyone was like St. Bonnie's, they're good, they're awesome, they were never. It's a fun one to abbreviate. So a lot of people like to talk about the mid majors

that they can toss like a little, I know a fun fact about them, you can call them the Bonnies. And LSU was just, it was dominant. It was, yeah, so I felt like a fool for that one. Will Wade, maybe. Yeah, Michigan LSU is going to be a great game. And then the bottom of the bracket, shout out Maryland. Never really close with Yukon.

Well Yukon was in my final four, whoops. Oh, I had, you see the best was, I fucking, I love when people try to like dunk on us for our opinions, not realizing like, dude, we, one, we give opinions basically constantly. Yeah, and also you're probably smarter than us. Yeah, two. If you're hearing my voice right now.

Yeah, we're idiots. Three, we're 95% of the time joking. And four, we're like C2, we're idiots. So there was a treat. I don't know if it was the Maryland. Except for Jake. Yeah, except for Jake. It was the Maryland account and Billy,

the Maryland account, I don't think it was a Maryland account, but it was someone made a list of everyone who picked Yukon. And it was, it said sports media experts. And I was at the top of the list, I'm like, I'm an expert. So they did me for Creighton too, cause I wanted UC Santa Barbara. We're experts? I guess.

I am not, listen, if I were an expert, I'd have a lot more money in my gambling account right now. Yeah, so we are not experts, despite how I guess impressive we might sound and knowledgeable we might sound. We're absolutely not that. I think that Maryland, it's either an iron sharpens iron situation or Maryland recruited UMBC's social media person

because Maryland's Twitter account, it's been pretty good recently. Yeah, no it hasn't. It's been like they've been, they've been tweeting the Where's Duke stuff. They put up a fire meme where it was the tortoise as the stunk guy and said torps on it. That made me laugh.

That is funny. This is stuff that the University of Maryland would not have done were it not for the UMBC upset of UVA a couple of years ago, where their neighbor absolutely posterized all of Twitter for a solid three hours. Right, right, exactly. It's, Maryland, shout out Maryland.

I don't want to be on the bad side of Maryland. I don't want Scott Van Peltz to just hate us because he's very passionate. What time is their game tomorrow? What time is their game, Jake? Stand by. It's not early because I was first. Yeah, they're playing Alabama.

So make sure to FaceTime Stanford, Steve. Yes. Tomorrow. During the game. So they are. 745 Central, 845 Eastern. Okay, so they're playing Alabama tomorrow. Alabama beat Iona. Yep, should hit.

Rip Petino. Rip Petino got bounced. Do you want me to read the text messages I got? I'm not going to make a 15 second joke. Do you want me to read the text messages I got after the game for my stalker? Dan Katz, I am a close, well, I am a close to Coach Rick Petino

and even closer to Richard Petino. We understand you have shown a level of respect for Coach Rick and that is appreciated. I have. I've shown a great level of respect for Coach Rick Petino. I think he did a great job with Iona this year. He's a legend of the game, hallfamer.

52 day layoff in the mid-20s. 52 day layoff. Unbelievable story. So he said, let me just go back because I just threw in a lot of stuff. We understand you have shown a level of respect for Coach Rick and that is appreciated. We also know your piece of shit sidekick

is still the faming coach. Iona was a great success and we will show your sidekicks in manners one way or another. What? I'll take the one way. I don't want the other, whatever the other way is doesn't sound like it's for me. And I just wrote back and I said, here's his address.

Oh, thank you. I appreciate it. I respect what Rick Petino's done. I absolutely do. I've transferred my stalker to you. Listen, I've always respected Coach Petino. He's a hallfamer PFT. The championship that they won at Louisville should count.

The banner should be up. I've always said that. I think he's a great coach. What he did over in Greece was wonderful. Just like the ability to go over there and transform a foreign program like that in a country that you don't have any experience in. He's a legend.

It's the stuff legends are made of. And then he comes back here, takes Iona, guides them through a COVID year where they, I mean, you talk about adversity and a tumultuous season. Iona probably had it worse than anybody. And they needed the steady, guiding, slippery hand of Rick Petino to guide them through this COVID year

and put them into this matchup and it's unfortunate that they got bounced in the first round. But I think I like what he's doing at the program, Big Cat. And well, it'll be interesting to see how long he lasts at Iona. No, no, I'm serious. No, it's fine. It's fine.

You think that he's going to go to a different program? No, it's fine. It's on you now. It's not me. It's on you. It's on you. I've shown respect for coach Rick. I just, I said a lot of nice things about coach Rick.

Sure. Sure you did. You said a lot of nice things. It actually wasn't me that said all those things in the past. It was, it was Billy. Billy. It was Billy. So Billy.

You should actually frame Billy. Yeah, Billy said all those things that you think that I said. It was a little joke that we had for a while. Let's see how drunk Billy is right now. Billy texted us almost one in the morning back home. Oh, I'm sorry. Should I not call Billy?

No. He's probably studying now. He texted us at four o'clock this afternoon. He's like, hey, do you guys need me to hop on Zoom for the show tonight? Which was translation. Hey, can I get fucking drunk as shit and play Warzone? Yes, Billy, you can.

Let's see. Do you think he picks up? No. I think he's going to. I think he's going to. What is he? He's not going to go to sleep one in the morning. If he's smart, he wouldn't pick up.

I wouldn't pick up. It's 1230. I would not pick up this call. I would say that I went to bed. Yeah. Because the person you called. He ignored you. He hit the ignore.

He's playing Warzone. That was like three rings. No, I think he's yugging. I think he's been yugged. Did you see his Twitter alert today? What did he say? Where he put up a tweet saying, like, should I stay at college, yes or no?

And one of them was like, the mountains are blue. So, yeah. He's yugging. There was a poll. I said, please help consult option one was drive home and get good sleep. And the second one was you only get college once with a mountain emoji, the letter R,

and then a blue square. So, yeah. So, Billy, just some advice in the future. You don't have to put up a poll. You can just get drunk. I actually think he would say that to us. I actually think he was smart. I respect all these moves Billy's made

because I think if we called him back, no, well, I asked Twitter what I should do and they told me to stay. So, I had to. That's true. The people decide. So, it's your fault. He's the people's champ.

It's the listeners fault that Billy's drunk tonight. But I'll be serious about Rick Petino. I think that he's a very good coach and I think that he's done a good job at Iona. I hope that he stays there. I like having Rick Petino on Long Island. I hope he builds into a big program. Is it Long Island?

No. It's Westchester. It's Westchester. I can't keep track of all that stuff. Close enough. But I like what he's done and I hope he sticks around. And I actually enjoy, college basketball is a better place

when Rick Petino's on the sidelines. Yes, agreed. All right, let's do, who's, oh wait, do you have Kronin in your one training moments? I do not. Wow. They could have made it, they still have one extra game, but no.

Well, UCLA, Mitt Kronin's dad, they hadn't seen each other in like a year. That was a nice moment after the game. That's a big story. Yeah, I love that. They're like, it's a late term. It's so funny where it's like, we're watching these kids play

and you know, like half the screen time is just to the coach's dad. Hank's just watching like gang fights over here. What are you watching? Spring break is back. Really? All right, wait, hold on. Let's do who's back of the week.

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Thank you to the cash app. Go download it and buy some Bitcoin. Hank, why don't you start? So spring break is back because you're watching just people kick the shit out of each other. Yeah. Wait, I want to see this. This fight's been going on for like three minutes

and it's just as violent as it was when it started. Let me see. I'm going to touch you right now. I want to see this fight. This looks like a royal rumble. I love, just like people keep sprinting in. One hour ago, so it's literally from tonight, it's absolutely like, absolutely.

My New Year's resolution is something like, absolutely crazy. This is not a representation of New Year's resolution. Spring. Holy shit, this is awesome. Yeah. Is there titties? Oh yeah.

I've already seen three titties. Oh my God. Dude, you know what always amazes me with these type of videos is like the presence of mind for the cameraman to just get all the action. Yeah, there I am. This is sort of a great shot. Wait, was there a dog in there?

No, he said? The tweet is from at TJ1K, Miami's nuts right now, bruh, cry emoji, if you want to go look. Oh, more titties, just got more. There were some good St. Patrick's Day ones too. Yeah, St. Patrick's Day one, there was one where this girl just had her left boob hanging out the entire time in the fight and then she adjusted it

and one second later her right boob popped out. It happened. You can't script that. That was an incredible fight. And there was a video. Oh my God, someone just ended up fully on naked. There was also the video, did you see the spring break video of the kid escaping the cop car

and everyone just starts running with him? Yeah, that was fun. Absolutely amazing video, spring breaks back. My other who's back was Kylie Jenner. Everyone's favorite Kardashian was in the news. Her personal hairstylist had to get brain surgery. Needed like $60,000 and Kylie Jenner, the billionaire, was nice enough to post on her story the GoFundMe

for her personal hairstylist, $60,000 surgery and she herself donated 5K, so that's great. Good for her. You know what, if we had, if Ruckers had hit, we would have donated at least $2,000. I would have personally matched Kylie Jenner's $5,000. And I think that, Kylie can probably make the case that the exposure that she gave the GoFundMe via a retweet

was probably worth what, $200,000? Is that kind of the going rate for her? So really her hairstylist owes her, what would that be, $140,000. So she should expect an invoice for that. Yeah, so she's just, you know, she's trending for all the right reasons. By the way, the schedule is out for next Saturday.

You have the Syracuse games at 10 o'clock. That's perfect because that's when the Beacon's Ag in 2016, 2016. Okay, there you go. But either way, the guy, David Warlock. Yeah, he's great. He is great. His name's Warlock.

I follow him year round. He said they define an upset as a team seated five spots or more lower than their opponent. They've, this year has already set the record with 11 such occurrences. And we're midway through the second round. Jake, I want to back up real quick. You said you follow him year round.

Does that imply that there are people that you don't, like do you do on fall, seasonally? Yeah, 100%. I do that with some people too. So what's that schedule like? That's never, I've never heard of that before. It's never occurred to me. I don't want to hear Tiger Tracker's opinions

on the world. Oh, I knew, that's when you get the real shit. It's like people are bored out of season. Yeah, yeah. No, yeah, I don't follow seasonally. I mean, Tiger Tracker's definitely a guy. Well, it's actually multiple. But in the middle of the tender when it's like the,

something else. I think it's multiple people. Shut up. Yeah. What are they doing now? I don't know. I don't follow him. Tiger's at Tiger's in the hospital.

I think he's at home now. Shout out, Tiger. Shout out. Shout out. Just big ups, Tiger. Respect. Just, we haven't said that in a while, so big ups, Tiger. Hope he's doing okay.

Should have wore red today. Faw! Next Sunday, remind me. Ah-ha-ha. We should do that. Every Sunday, until we place again, every Sunday, we're gonna wear red. All right, PFD, who's your who's back?

My who's back of the week is going to be drugs. Oh, not a drug guy. Not a drug guy. I mean, come get your man's big cat. Because the Chicago Cubs have a prospect. I saw that. His name's Jesus. Probably Jesus.

Jesus Carmago was arrested after police found 21 pounds of meth in his team equipment bag. And so I guess he's been on the team since 2015. So it's not like a new guy. 21 pounds of meth is Walter White levels. So it's meth. Like 21 pound. I don't think that my bag, if you check,

if you like put your bag on that thing at the airport where they weigh it, I guess it's called a scale. I don't think my bag usually has 20 pounds. Well, you have a baby bag. I don't check that one big cat. And that's a tiny bag. But you know what I'm saying? How'd you get that bag?

Do you sell like wrapping paper, door to door, and then you got that as a prize? That's a funny joke. I mean, it's not a joke. So I had shoulder surgery for my torn labrum. When I was playing rugby, I was in the Division III state championship. When I was in Texas and I started,

they took me out of the game, we were winning. No, we were winning. We came in second place. They took me out of the game. We were winning. Anyways, regardless, I had shoulder surgery. And my mom was like, you need a bag that you're gonna be traveling a little bit.

You need a bag that you can put up on the airplane into the overhead compartment. So she bought you a cooler? As you're rehabbing from your shoulder surgery when I couldn't lift my arm up. And so then that was the bag that I carried. Yeah, and I still carry it for some reason. It's like when I saw Ken Rosenthal on the plane

and he, to put the bag up, he hopped up on the seat. Like I don't wanna make fun of that, but it's funny. I was like, holy shit. You gotta know. Yeah. Like, man, I just stow it in the front or check it. I don't know. I would just buy clothes when I got there

rather than do that. Not me though. I can sort of dunk. I can dunk my suitcase in that overhead compartment. He did it so quickly. It's clearly something he's good at. It was like one motion, whoop. But regardless, what I'm saying is like,

when you fly with a bag and you put on it, most bags don't weigh more than 20 pounds even if you're traveling like for a weekend. That's a significant amount of meth. So I don't know if the Cubs have, if it's the Chicago Cubs, are they upfront for the cartels? Is this something that's an organizational thing where you use a sign to do that?

I wouldn't put it past rickets to make money any which way. Like that guy will find a way to make money. That's why Theo left. He found out about it. He will find a way to make money if it would not shock me. It'd actually be kind of, it'd be good for baseball. Yeah. If the Chicago Cubs were just straight up

like the Juarez cartel. Fine by me. Maybe that would get rickets. Yeah, actually I don't, no I don't want him out but yeah, he's whatever. Yeah, I fully think I was hanging out with some friends before we did the stream today and we were joking about because one of my buddies who I have seasoned tickets

to the Cubs with, we were joking that rickets is going to do, like he's going to open up the stadium 20%. They're going to have one concession stand there then they're going to do surge pricing on that. It's going to be genius. Yeah, yeah. It's absolutely going to happen. All right, so my who's back is the big 10.

I actually have a list. So people have been saying they suck. They do, but I have a list of teams that are still in the tournament that are in the big 10. Ruckers covered eight and a half easily. You'd agree. You're wearing a ruckers hat. I do agree with that.

I think it's actually still in it. Ohio, because Bo Ryan's son recruited Jason Preston and also Mack is big 10, junior. And I think also that since Ohio State got bounced, Ohio takes their place. Correct. The universe of Ohio. Wisconsin, just for their Friday night performance,

that's one, I mean, it's trivia now. Roy Williams is 29 and one in the first round. Who's their one loss? Wisconsin. Maryland, Iowa, Gonzaga. We talked about with Mark Titus, Jalen Suggs, Mr. Basketball from Minnesota. Loyola's big 10 country.

That's a no brainer, right? Yeah. I mean, Cameron Crutwig is the big 10 mascot. Right, exactly. If you had a mascot for the entire conference. Yes. It's him. Yes.

Alabama, because Nate Oates got his, I think graduate degree from Madison. Middle school teacher in Michigan. There you go. Okay. It's all great. Big 10. Yeah, Arkansas.

You can come at Jake with these. Yeah, Arkansas just because we're friends with Eric Musselman. And I think it's, yeah, no, that counts. And I think it's dad, his dad coached Minnesota. His dad coached Minnesota. They're too fun. His dad coached Minnesota.

And Oregon State wasn't, wasn't Obama's brother-in-law? Oh yeah. He was the head coach at one point. So that counts. And Tinkle's their head coach. It rhymes with Henkel. Henkel's in Indiana.

Oh, there we go, Jake. You know what Jake's doing? You know what Jake's doing? Jake has consistently won up your fun facts in this tournament. There it is. That was great. You know what we should actually do at some point?

We should sit down and make mascots for every conference. Yeah. We should. We absolutely need that. That's a good like off season. By the way, oh, who's back the week? Did you see Joe Biden going up the stairs? Yeah.

That's all I got. Fucking ate it twice. You know what you can't do what Joe Biden did. And that is the initial reaction whenever you trip going upstairs is let me speed my pace up to show everyone how athletic I am. And I didn't trip up these stairs.

Well, then you just trip up more stairs. Yeah. So it's the Gerald Ford at least. He tripped going down the stairs when he was getting off the plane what Joe Biden should have done when you trip on a staircase or anywhere. If you ever trip, you look down at the ground

where you just tripped and you act like there's something that you stepped on. You're like, oh, look, what was that? You like, you scuff it up a little bit with your foot. You try to fix whatever the divot was. It was not a good performance by Uncle Joe. I would just lay there and have them cart me off. That would be one way.

Don't just go fall down the stairs. And then it's like, hey, I broke my neck. What are you gonna say? It would be, so I'm not rooting for this to happen. But if a president were to be walking up the stairs into Air Force One, trip going up the stairs and then fall over the railing like 30 feet and break, it would objectively be very funny.

No, I just laughed thinking about it. All right, let's wrap up the show with Jake's. This is Jake's predictions for one shining moment. So I asked him to take a running tally as we watch games all weekend. What he thinks will end up in one shining moment. This is important because we're gonna, like we will watch one shining moment

and we will fact check against it. Yeah. Okay. I'll try my best. I like this task. Yeah. This is basically like if you, a young Jake Marsh dreamed of doing something like this.

Yeah, I'm all for it. Number one, the Virginia Tech tying three to four is OT. That was an unreal way to start the tournament. Yeah. Yeah, was that deep three? Did they win? No, it didn't end up mattering, but it was still. Yeah, but it's gonna be in there.

I mustered them big time. I tweeted out the floor to win beforehand. Yeah, you did. Almost cost us that entire thing. Yeah, you did. Yeah, I had the under. Also from that game, my who's back was going to be blood

because every time there's someone with bloody on the floor, they just show it and they show the blood on the floor. They show the slow-mo. So floor is Tyree Appleby had a bloody nose. I feel like. You're fighting for your life. You're a shooting star. Yeah.

Yeah, fighting for your life. Yeah. Something from the old Roberts upset. Yup. Something. All those years, no one knows. They, I mean, open hour and ace mess. They're two sharp shooters.

Okay. Just them making threes maybe. They should just cut in. They should really quick cut in that meme of the what you see versus what she sees. Yes. For the oral Roberts. Yeah.

One shotting moment is bigger than memes. Please. Hey, please. It's so bitter. Please don't. The day of meme enters a one shotting moment is the day I'm out. Yes.

Agreed. The highlight. That actually sparked this assignment. Gonzaga had someone threw it off the backboard and the other guy dunked it. I'm like, that's going to make one shot a moment and have to spark this. That's right.

That's right. Tanner Groves getting taken out for Eastern Washington crying. Yup. That'll do it. Yup. All those years. Ohio's dagger three against Virginia.

Yup. Here's what I told PFT. This is my long shot. They are going to put a random VCU highlight from the regular season. No. To give them their shine. Isn't that great?

Or the conference championship, maybe them cutting down the nets. They can't get robbed in one shotting moment. They made the tournament. What do you think? They have to be included. Jake's absolutely right. They didn't win their tournament,

so maybe not. That's fair. Like if it was... But they don't put just winners in. No, but I'm saying they were not large. Like I'm saying, maybe they'll just put a Dan Woken tweet in front. I'm telling you,

they're going to include something about VCU. This is where Jake's big J journalist brain is like, he's got to rate our lot. Yes. Okay. Sister Jean crowd shot, that's obvious. Maybe here doing the hand pat. Hand pat, yeah.

Ruckers' first tournament went since 1983, so maybe a shot or a dunk or a crowd shot. Oh, yeah. They deserve credit. They haven't been won a shot me over. Shout Jackie April? Yeah. Buddy Behan making a three.

There's plenty to choose from. A Baylor monster dunk. Somewhere. Over Wisconsin's word. Like, I don't know. Too many to fix first. Dammit, Jake. And then one more I had.

It was late night last night. The Abilene Christian player doing horns down after reading Texas. Yup, yup. I don't, that might not... Is that not NCA? It's not... Yeah.

Well, the University of Texas threatened to withhold all their financial aid that they would ever give to any other school. Yeah. If the NCAA disrespected them. Hank, can you look? What about the UCLA bros? Yeah, we can get them.

Again, we still have the second round. Head phone in. Yeah. Okay. I'll tweet out since the show will already be out. No, I want a running list, so don't tweet it. Okay. Just keep at it.

I'll add it for Wednesday. And then we're gonna fact check. Okay. Yeah. It's gonna be great. Hopefully the majority of these are on. Speaking of records, Hank, can you describe to me what this meme is real quick?

No. What is it? It's so... It looks like Tony Soprano. It's dark. Yeah, it's Tony Soprano on the right that says Rutgers. And then Houston on the left, and that's Christopher,

and he's killing them after the car accident. I tweeted this out when Rutgers was winning. But this is a scene from the Sopranos where he kills Christopher. Did you see my hope of last night? Hundreds of thousands of listeners over people have said over this. Did you see what mine from last night?

It was Tony. Because I never saw that. It was Tony and Pauli Walnuts on a boat. I did see that. I saw that. I saw that. He says Texas is back on Pussy, because then...

Not in the Thieves. Yeah. If AWS want to help, they can tweet at me so I can bookmark him. Jake's still on his thing. He's totally not listening. We're talking about the Sopranos, Jake. I know, we're talking about the Rutgers.

We're trying to ruin the Sopranos for people to take. You remember when the guy at the pony tail, what's his name? Furio. You remember when Furio was thinking about pushing Tony in the plane of colors? In the helicopter, yeah. Because he was trying to fuck Carmelo.

Then they were in love, even though they never had sex, I don't think. They shared some passionate scenes of dancing in Italy and whatever. They emotionally cheated. Yes. She was dreaming about fucking him. She fantasized about him.

She told Tony that one time, I've been fantasizing about Furio, but she was mad at Tony because Tony was being flagrant with his infidelity. She wasn't mad that he was cheating. She was just mad that he didn't respect her enough to keep it quiet. Also, speaking of Sopranos,

that one picture of me from Friday where I'm very large, barrel-chested. I look like... Cameron Cartway. No, I look like it'll be in the mafia. It'll be barrel-chested men or back. Okay, it's power. All right, random number.

Wait. 18. What? 28. One more giant who's back of the week. Blake Griffin. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

We talked about it. Yes, he dunks. Yeah, but I feel like we should give it. Yes. Well, no, we should, no. Dude, he can dunk. We don't have to make a big deal of it. It was his first...

He totally can dunk. First dunk in 19 games. No, I don't think we should... It is what it is, you know? It was also his first points. I'm pretty sure that he was like, I'm not gonna score until I dunk. Yes, it was awesome.

Yeah, it was great. Yeah. I think there was another score. My pick is eight. 99. 28. 18. 69.

61. 69. 61, damn. We got a fun fact. Jake, pull up an animal fact. Stand by. Stand by. I love you guys.

Stand by. I really love you guys. Love all of you. Everyone of you guys. Love you guys. Guys. Parrots will selflessly help each other out. I love you guys.

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Thank you guys.