Pardon My Take - Mark Schlereth, NFL Week 7 Picks, And A Friday Grab Bag

Episode Date: October 19, 2018

The Red Sox are going to the World Series and David Price has won a playoff game. Dodgers/Brewers is going back to Milwaukee and it's the Fall of Machado, both good and bad. (3:05-7:59) Thursday Night Football was gross but the Week 7 games have us excited, including a full Sunday slate with the London game. (8:00-11:35) Week 7 picks and Fantasy Fuccbois. (11:36-29:39) Our friend and 3X Super Bowl Champ Mark Schlereth joins the show to talk about the NFL this season, what the Broncos will do at QB, how he got John Elway and the Rock mad at him, and the definitive definition of hurt vs injured. (32:36-1:11:32) Segments include PR 101 for Lenny Dykstra crowd sourcing fleeing the country(1:17:44-1:20:30), Hmmm for Kevin Durant (1:20:31-1:23:07), Hurt or Injured Dwight Howard(1:23:08-1:24:37), Thoughts and Prayers to the NCAA(1:24:38-1:26:53), and Hanks Grab Bag. (1:26:54-1:35:44) You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have the return of our good friend, Stank. Mark Schler, a three-time Super Bowl champ. We talk about the NFL. We whip around the league, whether John L. Way hates him, whether The Rock hates him, whether Kevin Costner hates him.

The answer is actually yes to all of them. You can hear the story with Stank, always a fun interview with him. We have a NFL Week 7 preview, some picks, some fantasy fuck boys, a little recap of Thursday Night Football and David Price getting rid of his demons, PR101 for Lenny Dijkstra, and we end with the Hanks Grab Bad. Before we get to everything though, we have ads, and we have Larry's gambling picks. Larry's got to get back on track. Bad week by Larry.

Bad Larry, bad. Larry's also not a... No, no. Don't. Don't. Do not. I just want to be honest. I just want to be honest.

Don't say what you're going to say. Guess what? Even if Larry... He's fine. Let's just say hypothetically Larry wasn't looking so healthy right now. Larry's very healthy right now. We aren't the ones who are taking care of Larry, so it's not on us. It's on Spider.

Okay. Here we go. PFT, what's the first game? Our first game is going to be the Titans and the Chargers at London Game. Tokyo, London. London Town. All right. Here we go.

First game, Titans, Chargers, and we've got the Cash App. You already know the Cash App. Number one, Finance App on the App Store. What you might not know is that you can also put Cash App in your wallet with the Cash Card. It's the only debit card that offers instant rewards and comes packed with premium features. Not even a credit card can offer. Like Boosts.

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A true win-win. So download the Cash App and get your Cash Card now. Okay. Let's go. Now in the street there is violence and then a lot of work to be done, no place to hang up. Welcome to part of my take presented by SeatGeek. Today is Friday, October 19th, and David Price has exercised his demons.

He is good. He won a baseball game. Yeah, and he did it in just the way that we thought he would on the road. Yes, on the road, no pressure. It was actually the perfect spot for him because he was going up against Thursday Night Football, nobody was watching. Yep, and the slobber knocker of Stanford, Arizona State, and the Bulls and the Sixers. It's mostly Bulls Sixers.

Yeah. 41 points in the first quarter and still some while losing by like 50. I'm not ready to declare the demons exercised. The demons are warmed up. Okay. The Jazz are sizing right now. To be fully exercised it has to be in the World Series, and man am I looking forward to David Price getting a start in the World Series.

It will be great, and the Astros have been eliminated. They are your defending World Series champions no longer out of the tournament, well I guess they are. They got like a week and a half. But it was kind of crazy. That whole series was crazy because you watch Game 1 and you're like, wow the Astros are a real good team, and then they just kind of disappeared. But every game had a thing in it.

Yes. You know that? Every game had a thing. I like that. That's what you say about baseball if you watch it. There's something new that happens in every game, which is not true. But in this series. Tim Kirchin told us that.

Tim Kirchin and Buster only, they just say it all the time. But in this case, I think it was kind of true. There was a lot of weird shit that went down. There was fan interference. There were guys running to the walls, there were baseballs bouncing off walls, but not really. They were getting caught, and it looked like it left a mark on a wall, but it actually didn't.

It was weird. And the story of the series in my mind was the Red Sox outfield is like insane. Yeah. Insane. So can we put the Dunn chain on the Red Sox in terms of being the Bryce Harper sweepstakes next year? Ooh, you don't want to mess up with that chemistry between the World Series. Or are they play with four outfielders?

Hmm, okay. Like a softball team. Yeah, exactly. Shortfielder. Yeah. Shortfielder series. We have a 3-2 lead for the Dodgers, so Tommy LaSorte is still alive. And Craig Council pulling all the tricks.

I've never seen anything like that. He, on game five, yes, game five, Wednesday, he pulled Wade Miley after one batter. He gave him a psych and said, nope, that was the plan all along. We were just trying to fuck him up. That's an ultimate psych. I love it. Yeah. I've never seen that done.

Has that ever been done? I don't think so. He did it a couple months ago. Yeah. So there was some tape out there on. Yes, yes. Okay. So go ahead.

You can finish the sentence. No, that's all I was just going to say. I like seeing non-traditional shit happen in baseball because too often it's just the same boring stuff. Well, except for every day you go to a game. Yeah. Or when you take your catcher out when there's no runners on base and fewer than two strikes. Oh, your idea.

My idea. Where you're just being the umpire. Joe West got some training in that earlier this week. And we also, the other big story in the baseball playoffs is Manny Machado. I love, I love when a guy goes from a team that no one really pays attention, attention to and like, you know, doesn't win like the Orioles. And then he has to go play in a big city under the bright lights in big time games. And everyone's like, ah, this guy's kind of a fucking asshole.

Well, that's made of Machado's entire October. We're starting to use the B word on him. And that word is bush league. Well, and also, uh, just being out of shape and not saying sorry for being out of shape and not running and not hustling kind of. It's a weird, like, I sort of respect it because he's just really owns it to a level where you're like, dude, are you really going to say it out loud like that? But then, but then he got the game winning hit, got a base and then hustled to score

the winning run. Manny Machado cycle. And he hustled very, very fast in his last couple of steps down the first baseline so that he could kick that guy in the foot. Yes. But their friends though, so it's cool. Oh, that is. Are they?

Oh, that is cool. They didn't look like friends right afterwards. That was weird. That's cool. That's what he said in the post game. It was a prank. Yeah. We jerked each other off in the minor leagues.

That's just how it goes. Exactly. Yeah. And then Christian Yelich afterwards called him a what, a fucking asshole. Yeah. Fuck that guy. I mean, we have to defend Christian Yelich here. Yeah.

At all costs. He hasn't got a hit since he came back on. Who are you rooting for? We still look Christian. You're rooting for the Dodgers still? I'm not rooting. So you're on my brew crew. I'm not really rooting for anyone.

I'm rooting for the Brewers just so I can see that fucking slide. What? Yeah. The mascot sliding down the big water slide. Oh, yes. You're using my brew crew? Yeah, my brew crew. That's the first time you said that.

No. I've been saying that for years. Brewers are my national league team. The Reds are my American league team. That's wild. Yeah. That's wild. The Brewers.

Yes. I know Hank. I was actually secretly hoping. Are you okay right now? You have too much Red Bull? I was secretly hoping for the Brewers and the Astros in the World Series just so I could troll everybody by constantly referring to the Brewers as an American league team and the Astros as a national league team.

Classic. Classic mix up. So that, unfortunately, you're going to have to wait another year. Yeah. It'll happen next year. Unfortunately. Yeah. Let's do it.

Josh Rosen. Still not good. That game sucked so bad. Case Keenum. Well. Still not good. Yeah. But if you look at the scoreboard, you're like, oh, Case Keenum.

We were joking that it was 28-3 at one point. We're like, oh, Case Keenum must be having a great game. Nope. No. Defensive touchdowns in a manual of Sanders through a bomb. Yeah. Case Keenum did throw a touchdown. He did find a manual of Sanders with like 15 yards around him, like a force field downfield.

Yes. But yeah, this was probably the most boring matchup you could have hoped for. If you could have picked any two teams to play in a game that would be super irrelevant, it probably would have been the Broncos and the Cardinals tonight. Yeah. I defy you to find me a more irrelevant Thursday night matchup. Cardinals-Bills would have been pretty bad. No.

No. Because you got Derek Horsball as Anderson out there. Yeah. Maybe like the Bucks and I don't know. Yeah. Exactly. Bucks Vikings. No Vikings.

Bucks Lions. Yeah. Yeah. Bucks Texans. That would be pretty bad. That would be pretty awful. Especially if it was like playing opposite of an ALCS game. It was just so boring.

Yeah. But I do have a hot take. You ready for this? Yes. I think Larry Fitzgerald is holding Cardinals back by not retiring. Oh. He's already touched on that. Well, I don't care.

He's the captain and he's taking shine away from his rookie QB. So it's like a Steve Smith, Cam Newton type thing. Yeah. Yeah. So we got two alpha males down there like Larry Fitz and Josh Rosen. Well, Larry Fitzgerald is doing like the saddest retirement tour. This whole career has just been sad. Yeah.

Nice guy. Larry Fitzgerald is awesome. Really nice guy. You know what I don't like about the Cardinals color rush uniform tonight? That Larry Fitzgerald was wearing black and his ass wasn't sticking out. It was too slimming. A lot of straight racists of you. It was too slimming on his butt.

He's got that. Larry Fitzgerald is what I call him and he's got that bubble butt and you can't tell when he's wearing the black pants. Yeah. So, I mean, he did score a touchdown, but the Cardinals are very, very bad and I think it is now official that Steve Wilkes might be the first coach to be fired. How long has he been there? A year.

Six games. A year and a... Yes, a year. Yeah, he was a coach. He was a coach last year. I was trying to think that. Like that's how bad he's been that year. Wait.

Is he rookie? Yeah. And if even if he was new, I'd be like, they might want to just get rid of him. Yeah. No, it's definitely been a year and six. Has it? No. Maybe not.

No, he's a rookie. So, fire him. Just fire him and then pretend it never happened. Yeah. You could easily do it right now. You all forget. Nobody watched this game. If you do it right now, Cardinals, we will never remember that Steve Wilkes was your head

and you're good. You know what? It's basically an annulment on your marriage. I mean, I know you were thinking the same thing that the Broncos needed to put swag in. Yes. A little bit in the second half. Just let your swag flag fly out there a little bit.

It's real shame that they didn't do that, at least to our knowledge. Yes. Oh, we're hearing the game still going on. Have the Red Sox scored again? The Astros, by the way, that was a classic situation where they were like teetering on the edge and all and it was if the Red Sox scored first, the game was going to be over and the entire crowd went silent and that was kind of it. I do respect David Price for doing a hell of a job cleaning up that bullpen early this

week. I don't like his Sox. Really? Yeah. I don't like the High Sox. I like him. It's old school. I think it's because he's too tall.

They're really like they're very apparent because he's very, very tall. So I don't know. I'll just throw that out there. Jeez. He thought I'd fucking kill someone. Yeah. Come on, big cat. Stick with reasonable takes.

He's talking about Larry Fitzgerald's fat ass. Yeah. Stick with reasonable takes. Larry Fitzgerald. And PFC like in Hank are looking at me like I fucking killed someone. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah.

I like yikes guys. I probably like the baggy pants that go down around the cleats, huh? Damn. Tough crowd. All right. Let's get to our NFL preview week seven, which is sad to say out loud because that means that we're like we're almost halfway there. Yeah.

That's bad. That's very, very bad. You want to start with our Loser Leaves Town game. What do you have for your Loser Leaves Town? So my Loser Leaves Town game is going to be Cleveland at Tampa Bay. Hmm. Okay. I already think the Bucks are a loser, but okay.

But this is a Loser Leaves. The Bucks could conceivably turn the season around if they win this game. Yeah. The Browns could still fight for a playoff spot, but it's going to be tough for whichever team loses. Yeah. I think they're both losers. This is the Mercable.

This is which team has had more staff infections in their locker room in the last 10 years. All right. So I'm going to do for Loser Leaves Town. I'm going to go with Titans Chargers, not just because both teams actually will leave town because it's in London, but the Titans are on the ropes and the Chargers, right when, whenever the Chargers start to feel themselves and then they have to cross a bunch of time zones, that's when shit goes wrong for them. I think we said this last week and the week before about them, but in this case it's doubly

true because they are traveling as far east as possible going out to London. They went from Cleveland to London. You know what I'm really, oh they did? Yes. Okay. Now I got a bet on them. Yeah. The Chargers over in England, this is actually a really good London game and only for the

reason that it starts at 9 a.m. So we have a full day of football. So let your dog out at 8.30 in the morning and then don't let it out again until midnight. Honestly, just don't even let it back in. Just let it out. Yeah. Let your dog home free. Just hope it comes back.

Yeah. Whenever the afternoon games start. All right. Are we sure they're a good game? So mine was going to be San Diego, Tennessee. Oh, that's weird. Kind of synergy here because mine was going to be the Browns Bucks. Oh, okay.

Wow. But you just said both teams suck. Yeah. But if one of them wins, you know I'm going to talk myself into them being like, oh that team might be good. All right. So this is, are we sure they're bad? Yeah.

Pretty much. Got it. Okay. So I'm going to go Browns Bucks. Okay. And you're going to go Titans Chargers. Okay. And then game of the week.

We got a lot of options. Okay. You're not going to go with your heart on this one, are you? No. Okay. I'm going to go with New Orleans Baltimore. Another one I had for, are we sure they're good? Is I actually think the Bears are up to like, if the Bears can beat the Patriots, then they're

officially good. Yeah. It's going to be a big test. And Khalil Mack being injured has me very worried. Yeah. I have, I have Twitter searched Khalil Mack ankle probably about 10,000 times. Yeah. She's been like, someone give me an update.

Stay very woke on this because I think that this is Nagy and the Bears just so rookie head, rookie head coaches do this weird thing where Bella check gets in their heads. And so they're like, I'm going to out Bella check, Bella check. And so they're like, Oh, no, Khalil Mack might not play. He's definitely injured. Oh, he's going to be on the injury report. Oh, be careful. Be careful because he's probably not going to play.

And he's absolutely going to play. Yeah. No, he's going to play. That's never a question. You gave me this theory earlier and I told you that he's definitely going to play. It's just whether he's going to be 100% because he got injured in the Dolphins game and he wasn't 100%. He's 110%.

He'll be fine. Nagy's going to come out there like wearing a hoodie with half the hoodie cut off because he's going to out Bella check, Bella check. Oh, he's visor only, baby. Yeah. Visor only. That bald dome of his. So back to the New Orleans Baltimore.

I think that's going to be the game. I think that's going to be a really good one. It's Lamar Jackson versus Teddy Bridgewater. Can I say something real quick though? The only thing that stopped me for a second that gave me a hezzy about making a game of the week. Yeah. 405 start.

That doesn't feel like game of the week. It's got to be 425. That doesn't feel like game of the week. Yeah. But I agree. Well, who's announcing it? That's another. Probably like the C squad.

Yeah. It will be a very fun game because the Ravens, they're coming off a historically good game against the Titans in terms of their defense, 11 sacks and the Saints. I think the stat I read earlier this week was the Saints are nine and one off the buy since 2009. That's pretty impressive. Pretty good. That's pretty good.

Pretty good. And the Rejuniors. And Sean Payton, if you give Sean Payton two weeks, he's going to cook up some weird shit. He's going to have his players laying down in the end zone ready to return kickoff. And then John Harbaugh is going to complain to the NFL, Interpol, the FBI, the CIA, the president and be like, hey, I didn't know you were allowed to do that. But only after he does a thing where he has five of his linemen out wide and is like,

wait, but you were cheating because you had one guy lying down. Yeah. It is the Ben the Rule book bull. Yeah. Harbaugh is going to get so pissed off. It's going to be great. All right. We're going to do a couple of picks and we'll do fancy fuckboys and we'll get to Schlereth.

One other thing. I don't like looking at Sean Payton when he's outside. I don't like looking at any of the Saints when they're outside. Yeah. I was especially. Well, if it's snow, I can watch Drew Brees. Right. Like in that game against Chicago.

You remember that game? Yeah. Playoff game. Oh yeah. You remember that one? Which one? The NFC championship game? Yeah.

That was a pretty good game. That was like basically a snow globe. It was the Madden snow. Yes. Where there's just a little bit of snow and it was fucking awesome. It looked like God's sperm just trickling down. I was like, yes, I'm in love with this. But yeah, I don't like looking at Sean Payton in a jacket.

I don't like looking at him in anything except for like night games under the New Orleans Superdome lights. Yeah. I think the whole Saints team looks like five steps slower whenever they're outside. Yep. It's just something about it. 100%. So we're on the Ravens then, right?

Agreement. I love the Saints. Okay. Nine and one off the buy. Okay. I love Flacco. It's hard to go against that. No, that's not going to be one of my picks.

Go ahead. You do your picks. I'm taking Minnesota and the Jets. It's 46. Oh, this is also, I've got a new category of game we can do each week. The rivalry is back on game. So this is my rivalry is back on game between the Vikings and the Jets because, yeah, because the Jets lost out on the Kirk Cousins sweepstakes this summer.

And somebody, I forget who was, somebody wrote a take quick in one of the New York papers saying like, this is our revenge for missing out on Kirk Cousins. Yes. If you know anything about Kirk Cousins, you actually did yourself a favor by not getting him because you'd rather suck out loud than be, you know, kind of around average for four years. Yeah. Suck with Sam Darnold versus being like, you know, that, that frustrating Kirk Cousins.

Ooh, one week he's the best quarterback in the league in the next. Oh yeah. This guy has never played football in his life. So I don't like either of these defenses right now at least. The Vikings have been a little better. They're both like bin, but don't break. Yeah. I could see that.

Like break, but don't fall off a cliff and catch on fire. Yeah. I could see this. So like the over. I'll go for my over. I'm going to go with the Rams and 49ers over 52. Okay. Because Kal Shanahan is just going to, he hits over as no matter what.

Yeah. CJ. He just goes for it. And the Rams. Yeah. That's easy over. I actually am a little worried about how easy that is. Don't you think?

Yeah. I'm very worried. Well, it also matters what, what outfit Kal Shanahan shows up wearing. It's going to be Santa Clara. So he'll probably be in shorts. Yeah. Okay. I like that.

Okay. So the Chris Sims. Yeah. The Chris Sims statue will be out in full force. My under is Kansas City, Cincinnati. How could you? How could you, sir? I'll tell you, sir.

How could you, sir? Sir, sir. I will tell you. A Sunday night game with Showtime Mahomes? Yeah. You want to know why? Because Kansas City is coming off a short week. They played the Sunday night game last week.

So they missed out on two and a half hours of prep. Got it. So yeah. That defense is going to be gassed. Yeah. Okay. Their defense is going to be gassed. Cincinnati's defense is going to be full force.

Yeah. Because they played like three hours earlier. They played at least. And my David Price sock joke wasn't good enough. Yeah. My under is going to be Cowboys Redskins, 41 and a half. Okay. I feel like the Cowboys are a team.

The Cowboys, sneaky defense, very good defense, and whenever they go on the road, they also look a lot slower. Yeah. Especially in Raul John. That's right. Raul John is going to be a quagmire this weekend. Yep. Do you know that or are you just saying that?

No. I'm just saying rain. Dude, have you ever seen the field? Oh yeah. It always is. Yeah. I didn't know if there was extra rain. No.

It's not. It's like an extra quagmire. Probably not. The government control harp system hasn't been put in full effect there yet. But yeah. It's going to be, I don't know. Our words are pretty good at home. Typically on offense.

Yes. With Alex Smith. In the Alex Smith era. You're selling yourself? I like this. Yeah. No. It's so funny to look at Alex Smith's past charts.

Wait. Hold on. What you just did summed up Alex Smith's career so perfectly. Yeah. You know, Alex Smith, like, he's okay, ish, and like you're just waiting for someone to be like, no or yes. So you sit there and like, ah, someone give me a cue here. Here.

Tell me how to feel. I'm going to tell you exactly what to look for in this game. This is going to be the only fun part of this game because both teams are just basura. It's going to be watching Brent and Sheriff, the guard for the Redskins, just find some guy who's like a little bit off balance and just push them over. He does that like four times a game and gets credit for all these pancakes. He's really good, but he loves finding people that are like a little bit off balance and just smothering them.

I like that. Yeah. I call this guy IHOP. Okay. Do I have it on it? No, that was my under. So you go favorite and underdog. Okay.

Favorite underdog together. Okay. My favorite is I like the Patriots minus two and a half on the road in Chicago. That seems like it's actually minus three. Okay. Maybe minus three and a half. I saw two and a half. Okay.

I'm looking at two and a half. Oh, really? I'm looking at three. Hank also can't read. Interesting. I'm going Carolina plus five and a half at Philly. That was mean. I think Carolina wins it outright.

Yeah. I've got a lot of, I've got great track records with my calls on that, like the Browns beating the Chargers. Okay. I'm going to take that. What about the year that I absolutely destroyed you in picks in general? I don't remember that. I was like two years ago.

Yeah. You owe us. You owe us. What? An apology. Yeah. An apology. All right.

I have the bills plus seven and a half as my underdog. Okay. Yeah. I'm going to make you want to puke and that's what you got to do. You got to take the games and make you want to puke and this is my, you make a good point though because there's not a lot of tape out there on Derrick Anderson this year. True. True.

And then my, I am betting this solely with my heart as a personal revenge game. I'm taking the lines minus three against Brock Osweiler. Personal revenge game. Yeah. So it means a lot to me. Yeah. I can only me. I can see that happening.

Yes. Absolutely. Brock's got to be, he's got to be winded after last week. Hank, you go. Yeah. I'm going to say six. The chiefs still haven't had their come down to earth game. Like they lost last week, but they're still showtime at home.

So I think this is going to be the week where everything, everything comes back down to earth. It's a little bit sloppy. They might lose, but they're probably going to be within the end. Andy Dalton under the lights. Yeah. Careful. That hair.

Careful. Careful. That's a careful. It's good that they're playing in Kansas city because Andy Reed after like a big bowl of skyline chili, he would be pulling a Joe Paugh and sprinting to the sidelines to take a shit. He'll go right away in that game. If you have Andy Dalton that can win you a game or cover you a game or not, like almost

instantly, you can tell with Andy Dalton under the lights. Yeah. All right. Before we get to Slareth, let's do it. Fantasy fuck boys. Let's go. Hey, what's up? This is Paulie.

Piss a little. My start of the week. I'm starting Nathan. Peter. That's right. He's going to have a record high for fancy points this weekend. You can't throw interceptions when you're holding a clip, but I love big names. I sit, I'm sitting hot coffee.

I'm not ready to give up my iced coffee just yet. You dickheads. You pussy dickheads. Hey, out there. Don't you say that. Hey, don't you say that. You out here drinking warm coffee. Give me a break.

Get out of here. I like lukewarm coffee. You feel a little chilly? I'm sick with lights until mid January. Okay. I'm sleeping. I'm sleeping daylight savings time. That's right.

I'm on Kaplan daylight savings time where I set my time an hour late a week early. I'm going to catch an extra hour of these wake up after college game days. Already confiscate the side with the profanity on them. That's right. I got to go to church tomorrow apologizing for making a little hot dream in my PJs. I can't be afford to be reading swear words on TV in the morning. Wait fuck. We change hours soon?

Yeah. Next week. Two weeks. I don't know. Something like you fall back buddy. They get stuck real early. Good trouble comes out early. You know what I'm saying?

Boys. That was like the punch. All right. What you got? Oh. We're no you. My stardom is LSU? I don't know if you guys saw this, but they got new helmets.

They're going to change color onto the stadium light. They're going to fuck. They should stay. Hope you like incandescent face mask into your face. Hope you like these reality bitches. My system is Coby Bryant. He's not even a top five Laker anymore now. the bronze there and his new film got dropped from a festival from his 2003

allegations. What were those allegations for? We raped a chick. Oh shit! Allegedly! Oh shit and also Peyt Manning stealing his thunder on ESPN Plus with the details. There's a new sexual abuse in town and his name is not Kobe T. Peyt Manning put his balls on someone by fucking Sculpey. My sleeper is Mitchell Trapisky. Yeah! He's gonna light it up this weekend. He's still gonna lose, but he's gonna light it up. Oh fuck! Nina! Okay, talk to us. Alright, thanks Fabricio. My name is Silvio Maltesanti. My stardom is... You just took two names. No. No, it's a new fucking no. Are you in a wire? My stardom is Scott Disick. You remember Scott Disick? The Lord. Well,

guess what? Praise the Lord. He's appearing as a hologram live at Swiss Sex Theatre this Friday, 8 p.m. 6 6 5 6 Hollywood Boulevard. Use code SWISSX for free entry. That's Scott Disick's hologram. Not Scott Disick himself. Live Hollywood Boulevard. No free ads. My sit-em, Laveon Bell. Where the fuck is this guy? I know they got a vibe, but where the fuck is this guy? He should be out there anyway. My fantasy team is sitting there like, come on Laveon. Where the fuck is this guy? Is he caught in back and you like receiving stuff and talk trash about Laveon for not showing up yet? Yeah, fuck this guy. Alright, my sleeper is

Nature Walks in the Fall. You know what I'm saying? Guys, get a little something. Just walk around. Get a little poetry in your brain now. You're just like, damn, this is fucking beautiful. I wish I could paint a picture, but I'm not. But, hey, I wouldn't paint a picture because, you know, I'm a guy. I wouldn't do that shit. I like to go for walks in nature in October too. It's from the door to the door when you come and put your panties in my pillow. You know what I like to do is I like to go for a little Nature Walking thing a whole if you know what I'm saying. Yeah, I like to take my buddy Chris's girlfriend. Hey now. And then drive her out in the middle of the woods. Make sure she got a bag with her. She's taking her upstairs. Yeah, we're going somewhere. Yeah. And then she gets

killed. She don't got nothing to live for her girlfriend. Her dog's dead already. Yeah. Chris sat on it. Did you get to that pot already? No, it's gone back ruin the show for me before that. All right. I was telling Bubba earlier. Yeah, it was just about a year ago that I started Soprano. That's too bad. And about like a year and a month, he shouldn't give it up. About 11 months when you guys fucking think it's a great show. Yeah, you're the only guy that started the sparrows and not binge it in like a week or two. So that's on you. They're our episodes. Yeah, you're busy. So you just like stop everything you're doing for for a little bit. Had to do it. Yeah, that's right. Oh yeah. By the way, thanks

to everyone who came to Grammar City Theater. That was awesome. We had a show on Wednesday night. I saw a lot of people being like, I didn't know you guys. I didn't even know you guys had a show. Well, turns out we announced it a couple weeks ago on a Friday episode and we put tickets up on Monday at noon and we sold out in about 15 minutes. So not a big deal. We just stopped talking about it, which in future, I think we're going to start. I think we should keep talking about it so people at least know what's happening and they can be like, Hey, come to our city. And I'm like, Yeah, it felt like a pop-up show. Yeah, even though it wasn't. So that's our bad. We're really bad at promoting. No, I

think it's we're bad at doing things. Well, once they're like, Hey, it's sold out. We're like, Okay, so we're done. When really, you know, like, like Lollapalooza still has billboards and shit around town, even though they sell out every year. You got to do that. For the image, you spread the word, right. The secondary market. True. So that's our bad. But seriously, it was awesome having everyone out there. We showed some BVT deleted scenes, which we hadn't even seen. Like those were things that we had not seen. We hadn't watched the first episode until last night. It was awesome. Our fat asses were hanging out there with Matthew Berry. Yep. That was kind of nice to see. Maybe Hank, do you think

we should maybe give one little, little teaser tomorrow for the people on the part of my take Twitter? Just one, one thing. We could do that. One thing, one small thing that will give the people that we never released. And then next year, you just have to show up. Yeah. Yeah. You guys asses. Yeah, we'll do that one. We'll do that one. We'll give you a 45 second skit that was going to tweet it out. I actually thought we might get taken down for a for nudity. Yeah. For being too hot. Yeah. Sexy. So yeah. If you're a check and you watch it carefully, our butts might get you pregnant. Yeah. So subscribe. If you, if enough people subscribe and unsubscribe tomorrow, we will tweet out the one skit at

noon, depending on if they subscribe at high noon. Actually, no, we have to have a hundred retweets on the part of my take Twitter saying this is the episode. So the marks are like, Hey, episode is live. We have a hundred retweets. The minute we have a hundred retweets, you will get the bonus. What? Oh, yeah. Cause that might happen in like three in the morning. Yeah. I don't know. Just fucking retweet it and we'll figure it out. All right. Like, don't I think you guys can probably tweet it out tomorrow. Yeah. I don't know what you guys can probably see. Whatever through what we're doing right now. We're going to tweet it out anyways. Yeah. We're going to tweet it out anyways, but like maybe just do something

so that we feel like we're not getting taken advantage by you because right now you're taking advantage of us because you know we're going to do it, but we need something in return. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Sure. A hundred retweets on every tweet or you're dead. A hundred retweets are going to set off a live grenade in the podcast. We're all going to die. Yes. We all have cyanide caps in our mouth right now. We're taking ourselves hostage. Oh shit. I just ate mine. All right. So a hundred retweets. All right. Before we get to Mark Schlerz, let's do some ads. Let's do another Larry's pick. Remember, he got the Titans. The first one PFT. What game am I having Larry pick here? You're going to do the Saints and the Ravens.

Okay. Saints and Ravens game of the week. Here we go. I think you got two ads. I do. Yes. Okay. This pick is brought to you by Velveeta Liquid Gold. You guys think I'm going to do the sexy ad read? Well, guess what? Please. No, I'm going to push it up. Please. Don't. Please. Don't. I don't want anybody's ears to get pregnant. I've got enough little PFTs running around out there. We'll just play this one straight, but I do love Velveeta. I really do. And for all you SEC football fans out there, you know that it can be a little bit draining standing up, screaming, cheering. The game day ritual starts early with tailgates in the morning. You stand, you make your voices heard from the stands

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some of their mac or their shells and cheese last week. Delicious. You guys should be eating Velveeta every weekend. It is the easiest thing to repair. Even Hank could do it. It's got a unique richness, creaminess, cheesiness, and meltiness. The pasta shells pool the creamy cheese sauce, delivering a cheesier bite. It's a craveable post game snack. It's quick. It's easy. No additional ingredients are necessary. You just boil the water. You cook the shells and you stir in the cheese sauce. So satisfy your post game craving with the cheesy, melty creaminess of Velveeta shells and cheese. And Velveeta shells and cheese is giving consumers an opportunity to win an all inclusive trip for four to the SEC championship game. That's

going to be Georgia LSU rematch. Calling it right now. And thousands of instant prizes. Tucky LSU. Check out liquidgoldsdc.com for details. It was also brought to you by Bud Light. So we're going to do another pick. No, do this one quick because we have two more ads. All right. So Bud Light, guess what? They've got Bud Light, Lime, and Orange. They're out now. They're brewed with real orange and lime peels. It's famous amongst friends. If you're watching football, if you're sitting on your couch, no better way to take the edge off than with a nice, ice cold Bud Light Orange or Bud Light Lime. I could drink them all day. It's a, you know, I could sit down

and sell one of those beers that you have to switch up after a while. I could probably drink a million, million and a half Bud Light Lime on a college football Sunday, responsibly. So check it out for yourself. It's famous amongst friends. Bud Light, Lime, and Orange out now. Okay, let's do Mark Schleurth. Let's do him. All right. We welcome on our good friend, recurring guest. Yeah. It is Mark Schleurth, three-time Super Bowl champion. He is in studio. You can listen to him on The Stinking Truth every single week. Yeah. A couple times a week. Couple times a week and also on Sundays because he's climbing up the ladder. I think maybe let's call it. Maybe he gets that once

Troy Aikman is done. Mark Schleurth is going to be the game of the week with Joe Buck. Are you ready for that? Probably not. All right. Well, let's start there because we, we sometimes are a little harsh on guys who are in the booth. Sure. Yeah. I just say that. Yeah. Have you ever pulled a rabbit out of your head? I have not pulled the rabbit out of my head, out of my ass. Yes, but not out of my head. So you correct us. Tell us why it is so much harder than we give a credit for and why we're real just assholes sitting on the couch, criticizing everyone in the booth that it is. Intellectually, it's, it's challenging. I mean, there is so much prep work that goes into it, but you know, you tend to, you tend to see the game.

I like to say you see the game through a straw hole. So I tend to look like when I watch film, I don't watch the ball. I watch my eyes naturally gravitate to the front seven and the offensive line. And so I'll be watching and I'll pick up on some blitz pickup or whatever it is, right? Or some great block. And I'm not even watching the quarterbacks looking and he's throwing a, you know, he's throwing a curl flat combo or whatever, you know, whatever route combination he's throwing, I'm not even looking at it. I'm like, Oh my God, did you see that fullback? And they're like, Hey, give us the route right here. Go talk about it. And you're like, I wasn't watching the route, you know, right? So now you're just making stuff up, right? I mean, that's how it goes. So when

you're watching it, and I think one of the hardest things for me so far to do is to, to couple it with, Hey, it's first down, this is the potential you're going to get second, third down, whatever the case may be, and to watch the game with what might happen in mind. So you can really focus on that. Now you're watching it from, you've got your TV monitor, you've got your illustrator in front of you. You're watching the game at, you know, from eye level. So you're watching as the game goes on. So here's what I'm doing. I'm like, Okay, is it open or closed for, is it open or closed on defense? Is there a single high safety? Is there a double high safety? What's the potential coverage? Or my cornerback's pressed? Is that man, or they off? Is it a cover three, cover four? Is it quarters?

You know, all that kind of stuff. So I'm looking at that. And then I'm looking for potential Blitzers. Then I'm thinking about what, what could possibly go on. Meanwhile, your producers in your ear going, Hey, dude, let's look at this. And let's talk about this. And the whole time the broadcast is going on. So I'm having, like, I'm having a conversation with the fans that are watching the game, a conversation with my play by play guy, I'm having a conversation off air with my producer. I'm trying to watch the game from, from the booth with my own eyes, but I'm also trying to monitor on, on my television replay and see what's going on. And I'm trying to see everything at once. And it's impossible to see everything at once.

Everybody at home could do better job than everybody. You guys don't get that on TV. It is, it is the most intellectual challenging thing that I have done in the television world. And like I said, Ben, you know, there's no virgin meat on my ass. It's all been chewed. You know, I give a, I give a shit if you, if you don't like it, if you don't like what I do. And I'm going to screw things up. That's just the way it goes sometimes. I think we almost, well, I think Jason Witton did himself a little bit of a disservice by, he jumped from, you know, never having done color commentary before to being in the spotlight on Monday night football. He didn't have the luxury of kind of learning on the job. He put

his ass in the frying pan immediately. I'm sure when you started doing commentary, there were like, you know, there were some learning experiences, some things that you probably said on the air you'd like to take back or change, but you didn't have a national audience focused on you all the time. Yeah, I was doing Tampa, Chicago in Tampa. That's a big team. That's a big game. And Mike Glennon revenge game. It was Glennon versus, you know, James and not a lot of people were probably watching it. So you're climbing up. You had the Rams Broncos last week. Rams are good. You're so big dolphins. I got dolphins Detroit. That's a couple of big markets right there. So when you were first getting started, like, what are some of the things that you picked up on

in, you know, your first season doing these games that you wouldn't have known beforehand? You know, I don't know that I've picked up on. I think I'm far more aware of one what I know and more aware of what I don't know. So like one of the things that I have done, I've leaned on guys that I have relationships with, like from a coverage standpoint, because, you know, you know, the basics of four or two or, you know, one or a couple of three or, you know, you understand the basics of it. But you want to become more versed in it. And the more versed you become, the hard part is dumbing it down so people understand it. So I want to know for myself what the hell's going on. But at the same time, I'm like, but you can't talk about,

hey, they're covered too in that corner rolled up and you see, because you just lose everybody and you sound like a big, you know, you sound like an idiot, right? You just are, you're just like talking over everybody's heads and then everybody's like, well, that guy's, you know, that guy, whatever, to be able to talk about it and to get away from the football language that you've, you know, you've learned, like I say three technique and I say things like that all the time. And my producer's like, what does that mean? I go, you've been producing games forever. What do you mean? He says that in your ear. Well, that's, they're, they're, yeah, they're just there and say, like the average person has no idea what you're talking about. Right. And so to be able

to articulate the game in a way that the average guy who thinks he knows, but doesn't know, can actually understand what you're talking about. And that's, it's a challenge because you have a vernacular that you, you, you just kind of learn over the course of time that to you, it's, it's normal. Right. So I'm like, I went over to Shanahan's house, Mike Shanahan. So the Channing bed? It's a, yeah, it's a, that, that place is a hotel. We've heard of it. No, we haven't heard of it yet. It's ridiculous. Next time you're in town, I'll take you. Okay. All right. We'll just say, hey, Mike. Yeah. Let us just walk around. And then we'll just, we'll do that thing where we just, we don't leave and you just can't figure out that we're still there. Right. Yeah. But you would

not know. You know, it's, it's houses like 34,000 square feet. That's like the Tom Hanks movie. See how long we can live in Mike Shanahan's house without him knowing. I think as long as we stayed out of the tanning bed, we'd be fine. Yeah. I think you would figure that out. Maybe they'll look for cabinet. Right. But Mike, like I sat with him in his office for three hours, just going over, and it was fascinating going over route concepts and just offensive concepts and kind of the evolution of, of how these, how these routes and these route combinations were created. Like, hey, this is how we started. And then it morphed into this and then it morphed into this. And there's a, there was a concept that we talked about when RG three was the rookie of the year

and a thousand, he probably threw it for 3400 yards or whatever on that rookie season. A thousand of the yards came from one concept called X drift. And it's essentially, it's essentially an X running an in cutting route at about 12 yards, the X receiver. And it's all off a play action. And there's really just one guy you're thrown to. And you roll in to a game like that when you have that ability to run it and do what they do. And that's one, you got one target. Like it's, you, you got, it's a one receiver route, essentially. And they picked up a thousand yards. This is making me feel better because that's how I play Matt and find the one play that works and just keep running it over and over and over. Right. It's, it's, that's exactly what it is.

So I'm the same as Mike Shanahan. So when the guy, when guys tell you, hey, I think I got better by playing Madden and we all like giggle about it like that guy's an idiot, you might actually just get better playing Madden. That's what I'm saying. Do you think Shanahan is going to coach again? Does he want to coach again? I think I've talked to him about this. I don't know that here's the deal. I think there are probably 12 teams in the national football league that are legitimately concerned about winning a Super Bowl. Okay. Yeah, there's, they're just trying to make, they're just trying to chill. Right. They're just like, what are the 12? Can you name them? Well, I think the Broncos are generally concerned about that.

I think the New England Patriots are, are, you know, truly concerned about winning championships. I think Green Bay is in that realm. I think, boy, Pittsburgh is certainly in that realm. I think the, the Baltimore Ravens are dedicated to that. I think there are certain owners that that's what they're in this thing for. And then I think there are certain owners that are just in there to build equity on a year to year basis and watch their franchise go from, you know, 190 million when they bought it up to $2 billion. And every now and then catch lightning at the bottom of the little playoff game. Right. You, you, you make the right picks and, and your quarterback plays out of his mind or whatever. And you can ride that. I have a bad

feeling. I know where the Chicago Bears land. Okay. I know where the Washington Redskins land on that one. That's not really up for debate. Where it used to be a day when the Washington Redskins land on the other side. There was. That's when they had another owner back in the day. Ralph John's dad. Yes. What about, uh, which bucket does Jerry Jones fall in? Oh, that, see, I think, I think Jerry Jones is genuinely wants to win it and will spend the money to win it, but he won't get out of Jerry Jones's way to win it. Yeah. He's almost too involved. Oh yeah. There's, there, I've always said, I, they'll never win until he is ready to actually, actually relinquish control. Yeah. I mean, it's one thing to appoint a guy, you know,

head coach or whatever. It's an entirely different thing to empower that guy. Right. And it's the same thing in Washington. You can't have a, you can't have a back staircase up to the owner's office. If you don't like what's going on and say, Hey, I don't like this coach and I don't like what's happening over here. And I, you know, guys, we're all children. I mean, but yeah, we're guys, right? Right. And if you can get away with something or if you, dad says, no, you go ask mom or mom says, yeah. And I, and I think it's, you know, I think it's an issue, you know, you can sit here and say, you know, I mean, Jerry Jones, the other day, Jerry, here's Jerry Jones, the other day, and, and I'll paraphrase this, but he

says, well, we haven't, uh, well, you know, he always, uh, we haven't had a, uh, true, um, uh, uh, number one receiver, you know, and, and he said, we haven't had one in that in like decades. I go, Jerry, you're the general manager, right? You're, you're the guy who's picking them. Right. Right. Yeah. So it's fair. And then on you, that you haven't had a real number one, because, you know, he was responding to Des and everybody said, bring Des back. And, you know, I mean, that, I think it's kind of on you. Yeah. No, it absolutely is just drunk all the time. Where would you put the 30,000 owners in Green Bay for this one? 30,000 owners in Green Bay. Yeah. Really want to win. Um, the Oregon, like, what's to you guys? I'll ask you guys a question. What

was it more impressive, like bigger concern or more impressive that Aaron Rogers was able to do what he did last night or, or, you know, on Monday night football and bring them back in the fourth quarter, like he always does, or was it that San Francisco, who's got 15 guys on IR and, and CJ Bethards leading them, it goes down to, you know, the last second of the game and he's got to bring them back. Like what's like, to me, the story, the bigger story is you're in Green Bay against an injured San Francisco team that just lost to the Arizona Cardinals the week before. And you got to wait the last 30 seconds to, well, to me, the Packers and I hate Aaron Rogers, but he covers up for so much bad play. Like Aaron Rogers is so, you know, above everyone else is a quarterback

that, you know, you've seen it when Brett Hunley comes in and they become one of the worst teams in the league. And that's essentially Aaron Rogers. Like he can take a team and make it, he was playing with, you know, backup wide receivers besides Devonte Adams last night. And he takes a team that is pretty much, if you look at their roster, not a very talented roster, but then he elevates them all to a certain level. So I would probably say that it's Aaron Rogers who makes that happen and not like the Packers, their defense has been a problem for a long time. Right. And I think, and that's one of the things that goes back on coaching back on, you know, back on general managing back on, I think you rest or you get, you get comfortable. And I think

the other thing is, is you lie to yourself. When you've got a quarterback, like I always just say this about Peyton Manning and his Indianapolis days is that he makes up for, you know, he's like compound W, just, you know, spreading himself all over warts, right? And the issue that you get into is that I think you get this self confidence that we're pretty good. And I used to say it all the time, like, Hey, they're an eight and 18 without Peyton Manning and Indianapolis people will be so pissed off at me. Like, and I'm like, dude, they're like talent wise, they're an eight and 18. Then they lose him. They go two and 14. I was like, wow, I way overestimated how good you guys are. You're not even close to 80 points. I've been intact. Isn't a pro ball tighter though.

Yeah. Curtis Boehner, Curtis Boehner. So, so, and I think that's, I think that's where Green Bay is. Is they, they just get, you know, they get sated with the success of Aaron Rodgers. And they think they're a lot better than they really are. And then, you know, and then you, like you said, you lose him and you're like, Ooh, yeah, actually, and they spired five coaches. They're like, Hey, we're not developing kids enough. Let's fire these coaches. And now, you know, now we're going to go. And their defense has gotten just bad enough in Green Bay where it's almost become an asset at times, like late in the fourth quarter. They'll give up that three point lead or they'll give up, you know, a tying touchdown with about exactly a minute to two minutes left on the clock and

ensure that Aaron Rodgers gets the ball in his hand. You score so fast on the defense. Like, I mean, you saw that in New England too, where the chiefs, you know, they scored on the Patriots and tied up the game and left Tom Brady, what, like 50 seconds a minute, something like that to drive down through. So it's like, now in the NFL, it's like whoever gets the ball last a lot of times, if you've got that great offense is going to win. Do you buy the whole, the NFL is kind of screwed because the offense is just like, the offense rules everything now and they protect the quarterback to such a level that these guys, sometimes it looks like the chief's Patriots game looked like it was playing seven on seven. Yeah. No, it did. Here's the deal. Like I would, it

irritates me. You know, I'd like, I'd like to see some hits and see some hat on half football. Yeah, exactly. Right. I want to see it slowed down a little bit, some formative offense and all that kind of stuff. But a bottom line is this is we've created a generation of people who have watched football based on fantasy football. And you know what it is? Just take, you know what it is. And now we're actually, the NFL's actually going, okay, you love fantasy football. Here it is. Yeah. Here's fantasy football for you. Last Monday night, last night, Monday night with a minute left, it was 30, 30. On the Patriots game on Sunday night, it was 40, 40 with the middle. Yeah, I mean, people dig it. People are digging it. So, you know, I mean, last year we were talking

about like, last year we're talking about, you know, anthem protests and kneeling and all that kind of stuff. Now all we're talking about points of Palooza. I mean, everybody's excited. That's a much better narrative for the NFL than I was talking about. Go ahead. Oh, I was just going to say like, so you're the guy that, you know, you were talking about earlier, you study the trenches more than you look at the guys on the outside. I want to know in your opinion, because we're dumb, you know, we are fantasy football generation, so we don't necessarily know that much about what's going on in there. I know that the Giants are probably the worst offensive line in the NFL. Would you agree with that? Yeah, they're not good. No, who is the best?

Yeah, you know, I just did a Rams game. The Rams are phenomenal. Yeah. Like Todd Gurley, it was, it was interesting. The Rams are, they give the illusion of complexity, right? They've got all this motion and they've got stuff going all over the place and you think, oh my God, you know, they're going to kill us in the passing game and they've got motions here and jet sweeps here and ghost motion here and, you know, and fly sweep over here. And then they just hand it to Todd Gurley and he bludgeoned you. But the interesting thing watching them is by the time Todd Gurley gets the ball and he enters the line of scrimmage, he's got three yards of just mosh pit runs. And then he just keeps moving his legs and it says, and all of a sudden you look at it second down

in six and there's just this big, you know, big mosh pit just moving forward and they have consistently just reestablished the line of scrimmage. Whitworth at the left tackle position is playing great. Roger Saffold, I don't know that there's a guy that comes off the ball and just absolutely punches people in the lips better than Saffold. I mean, he just comes off the ball and sinks his hips and in thunder punches. I like that. No, sink the hips and thunder punch. That was like football porn right there. Was it oily, wasted leg bender? You studied the Rams. Do you think there's a weakness on their team? Do you think what's the way to beat the Rev? I think the Broncos covered. They were close at times. Yeah, I think there's, I think there's obviously, they, they,

their injury, the injury to cup, that hurts them a bit. I think their, their biggest weakness, like when a keep to lead gets back, he's kind of the soundtrack of the defense and he's one of the smartest football guys you'll ever talk to. Like he really studies. I think he's really helped Marcus Peters develop as well. So when he comes back, that'll solidify the back end of their defense quite a bit. I think their weaknesses, they don't really have an edge pass rusher guy. Yep. Now Aaron Donald is like, that dude's got a rocket strapped up his ass. I mean, that, that dude gets off the ball. How would you block him? I would, first I would pray that he would be sick. You'd hold the shit out of him is what you do. Oh, every play. Same thing you did to everyone.

There's no, hey, no question. Try to change up your sets as much as possible. And like I said, just really hope that he's not permanently ill, not an animal, but like, you know, just a little under the, under the weather. Right. Just the flu. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. The other thing, I mean, the field was pristine. When I played, we used to ask our, our, our turf guy was named Ross Kirkab. And I get there early and ask him like, Hey, can you water down like the edges? I want the field to sloppy spot the linemen hate messy feel like they want to turn a corner and stuff. I want it just to be like a, just a, a kind of pigsty, wet and nasty and like, you know, because that, like that, for me, advantage me. I'm, I'm, you know, I'm fat and I'm not athletic

and I'm injured. And, and so that helps me quite a bit. So I would be out there banging a drum from our, our field guy to kind of water. Would he actually do that? He'd go out there like with a hose and put an extra soak on it. You know, just outside the numbers. Run the sprinklers. You didn't do enough. You just go ahead and piss out there. Just a little bit. I got to ask this question because we had this conversation last year and I'm wondering if it's the more things changed, the more they stay the same, the quarterback situation in Denver. Are you buying case, Kenan? He has not, he has, he just hasn't been very good. He has missed, you know, he's missed a

bunch of wide open targets. They win that game against Kansas city in Denver and that's an easy throw. It's a, there's a cover two. So the corner rolls up the safety. They ran. He lost all our audience. All right. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. So the man was next to the other guy. Proceer of your mark. Stop talking so smart. Right. Okay. All right. So they run two receivers on, on goes inside and outside receiver and the inside receiver was a tight end. He tied up the safety. And so the safety couldn't get over. So de Maris Thomas running down a wide open down

sideline. You put that body on de Maris. You put that ball on his body. It's a touchdown catch. And he sailed it, you know, three yards over his head. He, he sailed three or four throws against the Rams that were wide open. Like his, his, he didn't give his guys even a chance. Right. Now part of it is part of it is your offensive line stinks, you know, and so you speed up your footwork and you speed up your footwork and the ball just gets out of your hands. And sometimes the timing of your footwork and the routes don't line up. And that's a big issue. When you don't, when you're not protected. So, but yeah, he hasn't, he hasn't played very well. They're, they're, they haven't played well about swag. Oh, people love. Yeah. Is that one of

those things where it's like, you know, the most popular guy in town's backup quarterback? Or is he, cause I think he's, he might be good. He may be, he may be, you know, I mean, the, the thing is, is preseason and everybody gets enamored with the backup quarterback preseason. He was playing, you know, against, against the twos and threes. He got a couple series against Arizona and their ones in the last preseason game. And he looked like a backup quarterback playing against ones. And so, you know, they paid, obviously they paid case a bunch of money. And yeah, that's the direction they're going. They're going to try to draft a quarterback. And, and second part of the question is, is there any type of it's sacrilegious to say, but is there

any type of, Hey, what's John Elway doing? He can't get a quarterback in Denver. Oh, there's a ton of it. Really? Oh yeah. The talk in Denver, because you have to look at like, there's a bunch of players right now that you would like to replace. There's, there's guys you'd like to replace on the team that your drafts have been up until this year. This year was a really good draft for them. Cortland Sutton can play, you know, Bradley Chubb can play. They got Josie Jewel and like the fourth round. He's a good player. They got the Freeman kid. You know, they picked up Philip Lindsay. Who's awesome. Who's, who's great. So they had a really good draft this year. The issue is in the previous two or three years before that, their drafts have been horrid. I mean,

horrid. And so there's a couple of guys they'd like to replace and they're like, well, you know, the problem is, is nobody behind them can play. Right. And that's kind of, they're kind of stuck in that. So when you make those kind of mistakes and you make them consistently over several years, it ends up just destroying any potential depth. So, so what, what is it like, like being in Denver now and having people say, maybe not go directly at John that way, we'll be like, Hey, what's going on here? They're pretty much going, are you going at them? I try not to, but you know, occasionally, you still have a relationship with them, like a friendly relationship. Yeah, absolutely. He ever like, Hey, why'd you say that on? Oh,

yeah. Really? Every night again, I get a call. Yeah. What was the worst thing you've ever said about John Elway? I criticized, I criticized their decision to let TJ Ward go a year ago. Okay. And he wasn't real happy about it. Whenever you have anything bad to say about John Elway, just let us know. Right. We'll say it. We'll say it for you. We'll say it for you. We'll do your mouthpiece. But there are a lot of people saying that maybe John Elway doesn't want to get a quarterback in Denver because he wants to be known as the only Denver quarterback of all time. I think what he, that theory is just busted because he did go out and get paid man. Okay. Whatever. That's okay. Yeah. I would, I will tell you this. One time I said,

here's another time I got in trouble with John. I said that you can be fast and dumb in playing the national football league, but you can't be slow and dumb in playing the national football league and his offensive line are slow and dumb. And I got a phone call. But it's interesting because you're on the media, but you also played with him. So it's a weird dynamic. It is a weird dynamic. Yeah. And sometimes, you know, sometimes he's really angry at me. Right. And then you guys are like, all right, well, we play together. We see each other and I think it's mad. And then I'm like, Oh, stop, like, stop it. It's what I, you know, it's my job. Right. To be honest, you do your job. I'll do my job. Right. Exactly. I got a job. I got a job.

That's what you got to say. Okay. All right. What do you think about Pat Mahomes? Is he going to just own the AFC West forever? I was watching your Pat Mahomes and I actually like the, the Pat Mahomes. It's pretty spot on, right? Yeah. It's very spot on. You know what I think of, when I think of Pat Mahomes, you remember the old Sesame Street where they, manamana, manamana, manamana, manamana, manamana. It's great. It's like one of those voices, no matter how many times you hear it, when you see him talking like that, it just shocks you. It's like splashing cold water in your face. Yeah. The thing about Kansas City for me is, I like to refer to them as September's darlings, right? Because they're always going to win a

bunch of games in September and January is going to come around and they're just going to get pummeled, you know? Yep. But I, I was one of those guys that was like, Oh, come on, Patrick, like there's going to be a learning curve here, right? Texas Tech, Texas Tech doesn't have quarterbacks. That's what I did. Right. Exactly. And I got to admit, like I watched Kansas City. I watched the comeback against Denver. You know, I'm at, I'm at home. It's Monday night and I'm, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm a Denver, I'm a Bronco. You know, once a Bronco, always a Bronco. Even critical, I love the Broncos. And I found myself, don't tell anybody this. I found myself, okay, like actually rooting. Like I was like, Oh my God,

this kid is awesome. Like I was like totally enamored, like to the point where I felt like the game was done. I needed a shower. Like I did what I just did was wrong. Like, you know, I committed football adulteries on my football wife and I felt guilty about it. Yeah. That's fair. As an offensive lineman, when you have a guy like that who sometimes does better out of the pocket, just like when plays break down a little bit. How do you do block any differently? Do you, is there like something in your mind that's like, Hey, you know what, you know, if I give up like a little bit of an inside rush here, it's not the end of the world. Right. So I'll just, I'll just try to wash the dude and give my guy a chance. Like you always,

like you always like to be clean and protection, but if a guy gets on your edge a little bit, you're just like, I'm just going to try to wash him by and let that guy go to town. Like you talk to, to guys that can do that, to have that ability that he has. And, and the big thing, especially with your young guys, just go make a play for us, dude. I'm like, just go do something. And he's been, he's been so special, but he's been special inside the pocket. You know, I think, I think he's so good outside the pocket. And what he's done is so incredible that we tend to forget how damn good he's been inside the body. He's been, he's been, the guy has been, I hate to admit it. Like I was like, what is Andy Reed doing? Come on,

you can't get rid of Alex Smith. He's like, Oh, okay. Yeah, that's what he's doing. I guess Andy Reed just knows a lot more about football. It's amazing that that was actually like a debate that we were having six months ago, right? Well, I was, I was to say, when they dropped him, what are you moving all the way up to 10 to get a Texas tech quarterback? What kind of idiots are you? Um, so you said at the beginning of this interview that you don't care. You, what was the, what did you say, meat? You have virgin meat? No, there's no virgin over. I was, I, uh, follow you on Twitter, obviously. And, uh, you dropped the never played to a couple of trolls recently when they were calling you out because defense, you're like, I played defense in college.

You've never strapped on anything. So you're going to, you can do the never played. You're going to do that. Well, look, so you have to put it in context. The never played is important. Okay. So like, for instance, Bill Belichick has no idea what he's the greatest football coach we've ever been around. We've ever seen. He has no idea the ass pucker you get third down and 12 from your own six yard line right in the shadow of your own end zone where you could potentially give up a safety if you get a holding call and you got Warren sap breathing down your neck or Lawrence Taylor or Reggie white. I've, I've been there. Right. So there's no way that, that there's no way that, that the greatest coach in the world can even have. He can't understand what that feels like.

I can. I've been there. Right. He can't. Just like, I can't understand what it's like to be, you know, super popular podcasting stars like you guys. It's 8pm, right. 20 buffalo wings. Right. We get Chinese food on top of it. Right. You haven't been there. Yes. Exactly. My floreos calling you up. You don't know if you're going to ask about the Vikings or the Steelers. Yeah. These are the deliverance that we deal with. It's tough. See, it's harder than people think. Yeah. So we should do that. Never podcasted. Yeah. That's a good one. But okay. So we got to, we got to prepare you because eventually somebody, I think most people on Twitter are pretty dumb. Yeah. So when they, when you drop that hammer on them, they're like,

okay, you win. They can see, they tucked tail and get out down. Let's just do some sparring real quick. Okay. You tell me I've never played. You think you got me beat. Well, Mark, what's better? Ruth's Chris Steakhouse or McDonald's? The Steakhouse. Well, you've never been a chef. So how would you know? Yeah, but I've eaten plenty of steaks. I've watched a lot of football. I've watched more football than you have. Which is fine. Yeah. You can watch a lot of football, but again, you can't have the feeling like I can eat the steak and I've cooked steak. Like somebody asked me this about my acting career. My acting career sucks, but here's the deal. Rock Hoover, right? Yeah. At least I know what it's

like to suck, right? So when you're sitting on the couch and you're fat and you're thinking about going and getting something to eat and you're like, how did that win an academy award? I could have done that. No, you couldn't have. You're fat and you're hungry. So, you know, I mean, does that make sense? He just beat you. No, I don't know if it does. I don't know if it does because I think I countered him pretty great with I've watched more football. Yeah, but he brought up the acting career. Yeah, that's true. Here's what you do. Just take pictures of your Super Bowl ricks. You know, I was just talking about this too. I thought, you know what my problem is? My problem is that I move from the acquaintance zone to the friend zone way too quickly.

Okay, that's my problem. So I'll meet you and you're some type of celebrity and we're like, cool, because I'm like, you know, hey, it's good to meet you, blah, blah, blah, and everything's cool. And then I start giving you grief like you're part of the ball busting. And you are, you know, you've got a bigger celebrity than I do. And the next thing I know, I don't get invited to go back on ballers. Oh, because that would happen. Yeah, I'm thinking you busted Rock's balls. I don't even, I did because it's just what I do. And then I'm thinking, and then I'm thinking, how is it that all of a sudden you're not returning my text messages? I think that maybe I could have been in. To your credit, the Rock probably has like

a thousand best friends, but he also probably never gets his balls busted. Yeah, that's true. Like the Rock probably doesn't have a lot of, he probably got a lot of yes men around. He's probably not like, you know, one of the guys like just, you know, fucking around. So, okay. Hey, the Rock, we know you're a listener. Well, you, you can get back to you back in the time. I know, I know. That's what, that's what I love about you. That's what happened with me and Arnold Schwarzenegger. You busted his balls. Okay. So maybe you're just an asshole. It could be me. It also happened with me and Kevin Costner. What did you say to Arnold Schwarzenegger? No, I didn't bust Arnold. He just didn't like it because that was a lot bigger than him.

Yeah. Oh, what do you bench these days? Oh, shoot. As sure as I'm sitting here, I can bench 450. Nobody cares about benching squattober. How much you squatting? I can't. I don't squat. Yeah. I do. How much is your dad benching? That's a better question. My dad, my dad will bench, my dad's 79. I bet you can bench 300 or close to that's insane. My dad is a freak. Dude, I came home. So he was down this weekend. I come home from, from Friday, I, I, I do the, the interviews with the Broncos because I'm calling the game. So I roll home and Friday it was like 65 degrees. I walk outside and my dad, no shirt, freaking parrot cut off shorts. Looks like George Michael, you know, back in the day with a wham.

I mean, a couple of apples poking out the back end, just yoked. I'm just like, dude, would you put some freaking clothes on? I love it. 79. All right. My last question is a seat geek question. Put in promo code, take, you get $10 off your seat geek purchase. Another thing you said on Twitter, and I need some clarification on this. Jay, Jay had a small back fracture and you said the only sports that have, uh, you can play with a small back fracture or hockey and football. Right. Now, two part question. First part, did you forget about LeBron's pretty much broken hand in the NBA finals? That's a significant injury. Wouldn't you say? It's basically broken. And two, you basically,

did you play with back fractures? We're just quoting them. Yeah. Kind of, it was kind of, pretty much, pretty much broken hand. Did you play with back fractures? I played with, uh, herniated discs in my back. Uh, I herniated a couple of discs and how to have back surgery. So now, and the reason I said that is like, you know, I always get the, the, um, you know, the doctor or, or, you know, after a surgery, like after a surgery, every doctor says, you know, it was a successful surgery. Sure. Like, I mean, I don't like the fact that they don't say you're dead. Right. So they don't even be able to, right? No, they just are like, Hey, uh, like it's a successful surgery. If this guy

doesn't recover, that's his fault because I was freaking phenomenal in there. You should see me. I surgeryed that thing right up, right? And so that, I mean, that's, it, it's always like, it puts it back on you. The onus, like nobody ever comes out and goes, Oh, listen, we had the holiday party. I was hammered last night. It wasn't my best. It wasn't my best work. I'm going to be honest. It wasn't my best work. You should. I don't know. I 50, 50, you recover. You know, I mean, nobody ever comes out saying that. And so I had just had back surgery and I'm on, I'm on, I just didn't prepare shorts and I'm in the Broncos training room and I'm on the elliptical not the elliptical, but the bike. And just to move around, you know, you're trying to,

you flush blood and everything else. And so this group or this contingent of doctors and med students or whatever are coming in, doing rounds and, you know, every now and again, you have that in the, in the NFL, the doctors come in and other people come in to kind of observe how you guys do your business. And so I'm on there with no shirt on and there's the doctors are saying, well, Mark just had back surgery and one of the, one of the other doctors was like, Oh, that's a nice scar. And I looked at him and go, yeah, as, as long as it's on my back asshole, it's a great scar, right? On your back, this scar sucks. Right. Right. Like, like that's, that's idiotic, right? But in the NFL, you know, you, you play with broken fingers and broken hands and, you know,

and injuries. And I, I tell you, I've had, I've had several teammates of mine that had a quote, unquote groin injury the entire season they played with. And then they come back and go, Hey, on your exit interview, we rechecked that MRI and actually you've got a hernia. Right. We just didn't see it the first time. Oh, that's convenient, right? We didn't see it the first time, but now it's a hernia. You're going to have to have surgery to fix that. Jesus Christ. Well, and then you just failed your next physical. Yeah. So, yeah. And now you can't be, yeah, you're damaged goods. Yeah. I mean, it's true. It's, it's the JGI playing with a small fracture in his back. It's pretty, pretty fucking impressive. Yeah. So I, yeah, but it's what you,

the thing is, and I always say this about the NFL, you know, people say, well, you can't play injured, but you got to play hurt. You have to play injured and more importantly, have to play well injured because if you don't use your job, right? And then somebody else will take it and, you know, and you're, you're damaged goods. Yeah. We do have a segment on the show, hurt or injured, where we determine if somebody's hurt or injured. You probably are the person to ask. Okay. Where is that line? We're hurt or injured? Yeah. Well, injured is when you have to have surgery that holds you out. Okay. Okay. Okay. So that's, so I had surgery on my foot that held me out, but it turns out I didn't need the surgery. Actually, that was an example of a surgeon

when I woke up, they said, Hey, we rooted around in your foot for a while. And it turns out that we couldn't find the fracture. Right. And so we just sewed you back up. Maybe it was a miracle. Have you ever thought about that? Yeah, I might, yeah. You know what? You do have Jesus here. Yeah. It was stigmata. That's what was going on with my foot. Exactly what it was. Okay. So an injury is if you have, if you have an injury that requires surgery that you, yeah, you're going to have to miss time. And you know, I mean, it depends on what kind of surgery you have, you know, I mean, okay, time you miss. All right. One last question then, because I, this is a gambling edge here. Does the bi-week, do you really feel refreshed after a bi-week? Like to do guys, you know,

because everyone's got nagging injuries in the NFL, right? When you come back from a bi-week, does the team feel better? Yes. But yeah, the majority of guys do it depends on, you know, what you do on your bi-week because there's, you know, every team has, every team has probably four or five touch guys that you have to babysit. And you got to worry kind of about what they're going to do on their bi-week. Right. Depending upon how important they are to your team. Right. You know, they may come back more exhausted. Right. Right. Than when they left. Right. Right. So those guys got to worry about, but I think for the most part, most guys legs, when they come back, the most guys legs and joints feel a little better. Come back. Yeah. Yeah. So they're a little bit

fresher. How happy are you that you never had to play Thursday night football? Really happy. Yeah. Thursday night. Yeah. That was, well, I played on Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. Yeah. So you felt it. Yeah. But yeah, I'm much, yeah, much happier not having played Thursday night games. Yeah. Follow up question for more gambling advice. Is there really an edge that you can get if it's like a rookie quarterback or a first time starting quarterback? Or just if a team has a lot of first time players that have never played in the altitude in Denver before? Altitude in Denver. Yeah. Altitude is real. But the thing is, is the Broncos have to be good. Okay. So there's a kind of balance there. It helps if the other guy has sickle cell too.

Yeah. Because then they're splitting the game. They can't play. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. That does help. All right. Mark Slaroth. Always fun. The stinking truth. My pleasure. You can bust our balls anytime. We'll still invite you back. Yeah. If you want John Elway to, you know, get a fistful of knuckles. Actually, tell John to come on the show and we can, you know, we can repair his image in Denver. Yes. Yeah. I heard that from a source that people are very down on him. So if he comes on the show, we'll make him seem likable. I'll let him know. Yeah. How will you make him? Well, what we're doing right now with you. I mean, you're an asshole and we're just making you seem cool. Yeah. We are the horse whisperers on the

show. Good boy. All right, Mark. Thanks so much. All right. That interview with Stink was brought to you guys by Mugsy Jeans and we're going to do another Larry's Pick while this is going on. Big Cat, who do we have up? You tell me, Peter. We're going to go with the R words and the Cowboys and Sonny Rall John Maryland. All right. I want to talk to you guys about Mugsy Jeans while Larry's making his pick. I'm wearing them right now. Are you wearing yours, Big Cat? Damn right. I am. They're so stretchy. They're so nice. Guess what? It's fall. Everyone's talking about pumpkin spice lattes, footballs and full effect. The weather's finally chilled out and there's no better time to up your jeans game. That's why I want to talk to you guys about Mugsy Jeans. Mugsy Jeans are

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and they're a real treat. I got to be honest with you. When they say that they feel like sweatpants, when I first read that copy, I was like, no, they can't feel that good. They feel better than sweatpants. Okay. My mind was blown when I tried them on. I don't know how they do it. They look like normal jeans but they feel like sweats. It's a magical feeling. You can only understand by trying them on for yourself. They're the real deal. The good news is Mugsy has free and easy returns and exchanges so you have nothing to lose by giving them a try and they just launched their fall line with five new awesome styles including safe for work chinos. Do yourself a favor. Head to MugsyJeans.com. Get a pair of the most comfortable men's jeans ever made and use promo code PMT

for 10 bucks off. So that's a beer on us and a pair of your favorite jeans by heading to MugsyJeans.com using promo code PMT. The interview is also brought to you by Peloton. And what's the last pick that I'm going to do? And the last pick we're going to do is the Sunday night game. Showtime. Showtime Mahomes. Showtime Mahomes against stars Andy Dalton. All right, here we go. Ready? Okay, put this almost down for him. And while you're doing that, I'm going to talk to you guys about Peloton. It's a quick, easy and affordable way to get in shape all from the comfort of your living room. If you have a busy schedule, if you're working all day, you're running around for others, you can still get an intense workout in the convenience and comfort of your

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the Bengals. Larry loves the Bengals. Okay. Back to Peloton. Larry's gonna work out and they're swimming around. But a lot of us can't afford to have our own private pools like Larry does. And he's in such great shape. He's gonna live forever. But you can come close to living forever with a Peloton bike in your living room. They have on demand classes led by elite New York City instructors. With real time metrics, you can track your performance and train more effectively. And it's got a 22 inch HD touchscreen. It's got a near silent belt drive. So it's super quiet. It's compact two by four footprint fits in your living room or even in your home office. Bring the cycling studio to you with Peloton's cutting edge indoor cycling bikes that are no

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calling me? Are you going to post an experience story of you going yard on Tommy? On Tommy? Tommy's life's on the line. I also have a note for Big Cat from our friends at Chocomore. Real quick, before you do that, are you going to be comfortable murdering Tommy Lassorto? Because you will be responsible. I mean, if it's got to happen, it's got to happen. Okay. Well, that's real sad. Everyone's, everyone's got to go. Now, every woman of silence for Hank, what he just did. Now, every guest that comes on part of my take. Listen, Tommy doesn't really love Tommy. Tommy wouldn't want us to waste any time. Jesus. He would not want us to waste any time. I'm just saying, Hank, any future guest that comes on part of my take will now be afraid that Hank will murder them.

Good. I like that intimidation. All right. Okay. Dear Big Cat, we know that things have been tough for you lately. Yeah, they have. With your bulging disc, the cubs being knocked out of the playoffs. It was the wild card game. I don't even know if that counts. It's a playoffs. While chocolate milk is an ideal recovery drink after a tough workout, its recovery powers do not extend to back pain or emotional distress. However, chocolate milk is delicious. So to help make this difficult period a little better, we wanted you to have this care package of creamy and delicious chocolate milk. Please feel free to share with PFT and Hank, but not Bubba during what's fucked up. Sincerely, your friends had built with chocolate milk. Are they cool with you just

dropping an F bomb in the middle of that? Yeah. Okay. I talked to him last night. Fuck yeah. You actually did. Yeah. Okay. Let's start with a restraint from trying to fight him. Nice. Yeah. First up, we have our friend, old friend, Leni Dykstra, little PR 101 for Lendog. Yeah. Did you see this three tank? I've seen a lot of things about Leni in the past few weeks. Well, Leni decided tonight he said, anyone know which countries don't have extradition arrangement with the U S asking for a friend. And then, and then somebody replied and said, my friend might be able to help you out, tagged his friend in and his friend was like, Hey, what's up, Leni? I might be able to help you out. And then Leni was like, following you now, DM me.

So Leni's cracked the code on, on how to get out of going to jail in the United States. And that's by asking people for help on a public app and a public app asking people if he can flee. He also, the rest of the entire, we should, we should do a true crime podcast. Everyone's doing like a serial for something else. We should do one just for Leni Dykstra's crimes, but it's all just, yeah, he did it. Yeah. Yeah. Leni turns out when he did this, every crime he's been accused of, he's done and many, many more. He also then used the replies as a roasting of different countries and also a rating of the women in those countries. So someone said, I'd say Afghanistan is a place to go. He said, fuck no, that place is dangerous. Someone said Russia. He said, intriguing, but

some of those women, lovely as they are, are fierce. Hashtag scared. Costa Rica. And then he replied, and the ladies are supposedly hot with two Ts there too. So it's essentially, this is like Anthony Bourdain, rest in peace. It's like a junkyard version of traveling the world with Anthony Bourdain. It's actually not a bad idea to, instead of just, instead of sending our armies places, we should just send Leni Dykstra overseas and just annoy the shit out of other countries. Just send Leni, there's probably Dykstra up there. The problem is with Leni, if he were to try to like get to the airport, he'd have to get into a cab to get there. And then he'd get kicked out of the cab for like pulling a gun and, and, and smoking meth in the

back of it. So Leni's kind of, he's, he's kind of arrested himself in a way. Yes. Oh, this one's the best one. Arizona. He replied too hot. I hated away games at the Marlins. Oh, so we're all over the place on that. Arizona is still in America. So yeah. Um, Lenny, something tells me Leni Dykstra liked other parts of Miami though. I don't know what's going on with Lenny, but, uh, let's hope he gets out of the country safely. Is that what, is that something you wish someone, are we aiding and abetting him? I don't know. Do you wish someone that at this point? I think so, right? Good luck Lenny. Yeah. Good luck. He almost fell for the Ligma or Bofa, but he was too smart. Yeah, you can't trust me. He's way into the internet now. Leni's seen it all. He has seen it all. All

right. Next up, we have a, hmm, was you just convinced Lenny Dykstra that Puerto Rico is a different country? Yeah. Puerto Rico, it doesn't have an extra. Or we should start our own sovereign country and just invite him. Yeah. Actually, that's a terrible idea. Um, so we have a, hmm, you ready for this boys? Yep. You ready for this? Hmm. Hmm. Okay. Last night, opening night, NBA. Uh, actually it was two nights ago. Kevin Durant, baby back bitch tweeted, Instagrams, one down, 81 more. What a night. His brother, Tony, Tony Durant, Tony Durant, replied to the Instagram. Yes, sir, brother, fill in the hand up before we get out of here. Huh. Huh. Hmm. Hmm. Say that again? Fill in. Yes, sir, brother, fill in the hand up

before we get out of here. Kevin Durant is a free agent this year. Hmm. Huh. Hmm. So interesting. Looks like he's going to LA. So he's getting another ring and then he's getting the fuck out. Hmm. Wait. No, he might go to New York. So he's fill in. Fill in the hand out for the rings. Yeah. Was he JPP? Yeah. He's got two, he's got three fingers. Yeah. So, hmm, I don't know. Hmm. We'll see. This is going to be, or he's going to sign for, that might mean he's signing an extension. Well, this is going to be the greatest free agent summer of all time because we basically have Kevin Durant being like, can an entire internet troll him into going to the Knicks just to try to get his like, like this made up masculinity back that we've decided he doesn't have. Be careful.

If he goes to the Knicks, we might end up becoming his best friends. But we really would be like, if he goes to the Knicks, essentially Twitter, Twitter and Instagram trolled him. If he goes to the Knicks, I've got his baby back. We will take away the triple B if he goes to the Knicks. So here we go. Kevin Durant, when you put your pros and cons on a sheet this summer, just put in the pro. Pardon my take. We'll stop calling me a baby back bitch. That's a big one actually. That's a huge, that might be number one. Yep. That might be number one and like 200 million dollars or whatever. He's going to go to like Houston. No, I think he'll come to the Knicks. I hope so. I doubt that would be awesome. No, we would become best friends of them. And it

actually would be great because like, what if we became best friends of them and just became like bitches to everyone like to the media just showed up and was like, we're not talking. Kevin's not talking today. Just writing everyone's fucking face. Yeah, I'm pretty good at putting my hand into a camera lens. She's like, no more fucking questions. This interview is done. Kevin's like, I don't know why these guys can follow me around. Media time's over. Yeah. Okay. You can schedule in advance like everybody else. Yes. We're out. We're out of 500. All right. Let's do Herder Ingers. Kevin, let's go get Macha. Staying in the NBA. Ooh, we have a Macha. What is Macha? Can we just do? Yeah, let's do that. Yeah, let's do that. Can we explain what Macha is? Yeah, no, let's

do that. Macha's, I don't know either. Macha's like when South American Wildcat eats cocoa beans and then shits them out. That's Macha. You're drinking shit. Yeah. That doesn't sound like fun. That's like green paste. It's weird. Okay. It looks like the ooze from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Or the boogers from Double Dare. Yes, it looks all like those. It was basically, it's coffee, but it's a different color. So people are more likely to take pictures of it for Instagram. It does make your shits different color? You know, I'm not sure. I haven't had a lot of Macha. I haven't had enough. Yeah. Wow, you ignorant slut. Just drinking, drinking cold, you know, regular coffee. Ice coffee. I saw Emily Rajikowsky's husband there once. Really? Yeah. He wasn't that.

He wasn't handsome. Did you really like, hey man, how'd you learn that? No, I just, I didn't say anything to him. I would hope you wouldn't say that. That would be the weirdest thing of all time. Really fucked up. Hey man, like just give me some tips. Your wife's pretty hot. That's a good starter. Next time we have Jiro Kahn on here. That's, that's a little intro. Yeah. Wait, how do you know, how do you know what Emily Rajikowsky's husband looks like? I mean, I follow Emily Rajikowsky on Instagram. Too closely. Geez. What, what, what is she having her apartment? I'm surprised I recognize you without, without your shirt off. Damn Hank, you creepin. I, I guess if that's what creeping is, I would not be able to pick

them out of a lineup. No, no. All right. So we ever heard, I don't know where we are. Oh, we're at Herter injured for Dwight Howard. So Dwight Howard missed his first home game for the wizards tonight or it might have been a second injured, but he's got a, you guys hear this? He's butthurt. No, do you hear this? Dwight Howard pain in the ass. That's why he's out. Yeah, there you go. That's an actual thing. That is an actual thing. I think he just, he has to poop and he's like, my butt hurts. It was actually his tailbone. So yeah. So it was that little bone, but it's just, uh, so it's just great watching Dwight Howard, the start of the big three at the Washington wizards. And then you see cross the ticker,

Dwight Howard out, but if you're Dwight, you have to, you have to ask your team to like make up a different injury than that. I think the, I think the wizard said back tailbone. I think the wizard said back, but then reporters were like, no, it's but he heard his butt. I can see a butt injury a mile away. Yes. Absolutely. He got on that butt machine on the gym. You could take some tips from Larry thick Gerald. Oh yeah. You like that. You like that Hank? Sorry. I think we spun Hank out of like in a very bad web when he was like, dude, you should not know Emily Rajakowsky's husband. I got some things to think about. All right. By the way, like two years ago, I think we called on the show that short shorts

were coming back in the NBA. Yes. What's a progress update on that? A LeBron's trying. Okay. Not really though. In a fucking classic LeBron fashion, he's wearing compression shorts underneath, which takes away from the whole point of wearing short shorts. He learned his lesson when he showed his dick to everybody before that playoff game. He also isn't wearing short shorts because he's just, he's, uh, tucking, he's like tucking the waistband. So it's not even short shorts. He's like, he's in the waistband tuck. That's my move from middle school. Not tuck the waistband. He's like, oh, he's, he's overlapping it. So he's basically, he's rolling the waistbands like cheerleaders did back in the day. Essentially. He's wearing Sophie shorts,

uh-huh. Which are also coming back. Yes. So that's what LeBron's doing. So I guess the update is not fully back, but kind of back. I love LeBron and yellow already. Oh, looks great on him. Wow. Brings out his belly. Damn, dude. That's, it's weird. It's going to take a little bit of time to get used to that. Don't you think? I hate it. Yeah. It's, it's just for something about it, like it just looks very, very weird. And he doesn't even care about basketball anymore. He just wants to make movies and be Steve Jobs. All right. Thoughts and prayers. Before we get to the Hank's grab bag thoughts and prayers to the NCAA, the G league has come out and they have said that they are, uh, giving a $125,000 contract to P to players that could be eligible for the one

and done. And they want to skip college. Essentially they're doing what LeVar ball was trying to do. Yes. And ending LeVar ball's career before it began. So this is trouble for the answer. It's not trouble for everyone because obviously like coach K pays people way more than $125,000, probably bill self too. But it was going to be problematic for some of the also rands in the NCAA. So they're going to be kids getting paid like $125,000 to go live in South Dakota or whatever. Let me ask you this. You're an elite prospect coming out of high school. All right. So you have an offer to go to UNC and get screamed at by Roy Williams wearing different shades of plaid jackets for a year. Have I asked Kansas for money yet? Yes, you have. And bill self said no

longer the coach at Kansas because I got fired and rested. So Roy Williams is offering you zero dollars or you can go play in Bismarck for a year and make $125,000 riding a bus and playing in front of 40 people a night. Do I have to go to class at UNC? It's UNC. Okay. So yeah, true. I'm going to say I'll go to UNC. Okay. You'd rather play for free. Yeah. Love the game. Well, for free. You know what I'm saying. For free. Yeah. For free. I got you. Yeah. Free. I'll play for free. Wink. Yeah. So I don't know. He got game like this. What would Lenny Dijkstra say? Chapel Hill or Bismarck? Where are the ladies at Lenny? This is going to be hilarious because it's going to be basically the biggest nerds go to the G League. The guys who like couldn't, who couldn't figure

out a way to get paid through their AAU coach. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Come on, man. Just figure it out. Yeah. Everyone's getting paid. Just get paid by the incident play. All right. Let's finish it up. Hank's grab bag. Let's do it. How does wind stop? It doesn't. That's because there's a it's a circle. It goes forever. The earth keeps it. Well, the wind is caused by the earth turning. Yeah. But through the air. No, but wind, like the wind you feel right now. That was the same wind that was blown Christopher Columbus all over the fucking place. Yeah. Take it. Here's a little experiment. Breathe in real deep through your nose. That was my mouth. Nose, I said. Darren Ravel has farted that air. Gross little fucking anchovy farts. Yeah. You sucked in Darren's

farts. At this very second, you're the oldest you've ever been and the youngest you'll ever be. Whoa. Damn it. What about now? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I thought I could surprise you. Fuck. Getting old sucks. But I did dye my hair. I re-dyed. You guys think it looks good? Yeah. I think you need to go a lot darker. Really? Yeah. Why? Because it's kind of like you can't really tell. What are you talking about? Oh, you can tell. You know what you should do? I had a lot of gray hairs. You should go peroxide blonde like a skate punk from maybe get my tips. Yeah. Put some sun in there. Some orange juice. I wouldn't be opposed to doing the bleach tips. A little JT in the late 90s. Yeah. Talking Justin Timberlake, guys. Where does poop go once you flush? We all know it goes to sewers, but then

where? This is actually something I've thought about, like not a lot, but a good amount. There's a lot of poop somewhere in this world right now. Like a lot of it. Where? It goes into our crops that we eat. It turns into fertilizer. No, I don't think human poop does that. They should start. Okay. Because I always assume, now this might sound dumb, that we just flush it down the earth. Yeah. It's in the core. It became lava. Yeah. Yeah. It burns up. Why don't we do that? We probably should. Yeah. It's like, really, we can just incinerate all of our trash. We just get it down to volcano. I think it just goes into the ocean and it's one of those problems that we're like, somebody else is going to solve that. It's all fishes going to figure this out. Yeah. We're fine.

I mean, think about it. The ocean is filled with fish shit. Someone listening to this right now definitely is like an environmental scientist. Please tweet us and let us know where this actually goes. Because I'm actually curious and I'm not curious enough to Google. Yeah. I'm curious enough to scroll Twitter and see it. Well, I think it just goes to twitter.com. Yeah. Okay. That's true. Goes to your timeline, bitch. Oh, how does deja vu work? Well, it's a glitch in the matrix because right now we're all living in a computer simulation that's being run by Elon Musk. So when you see something for the second time, it is just something that's already happened and it's being replayed by accident. It's like

a CD that skips. Yes. I get it often and I don't know why, but I get it often. I actually think that means that I'm the one. That's just you meeting the same people. No, I'm the one in the matrix. Lenny Dykstra must have crazy deja vu. Yeah. Every day. Yeah. Every single day. He's like, holy crap. I think I've met you before. Shit. And she's like, yeah, you're the one that didn't pay me for the sex last week too. Yeah. Right. And I'm back. Well, this is crazy deja vu. I got herpes again. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Caregiver and caretaker. I mean the same thing, but give and take are opposites. That's actually not true. And I learned this the hard way. A caretaker is somebody that handles dead bodies in a mortuary. Yeah. Like Paul Bear. Yeah. So a caretaker

is, a caregiver is somebody that looks after somebody who's alive. A caretaker has already taken care of you. Also when they say you want to take care of this. Yeah. You want to take care of this? This is my guy, the ice man. He's a caretaker, you know? You got a problem. He'll take care. And then if you want to say like, hey, I got a guy you got to give some care to, then you know what I'm saying there too. Yeah. Rub it out. No. Make sure you give him a sponge bath because he can't take a shower and stand up straight. Yes. And maybe rub it out. People like. All right. Well, end on this one. Purple is the color of royalty. What is the color of poverty? Well, that's mean. That's ugly. That's really ugly. Why? You know, we don't pour shame. Green.

It's not shaming. It's actually ironic. It's probably green because like poor people probably have more cash than rich people do cash on hand. And what? Well, all my cash is in the cloud, bro. A lot of rich people, they're not fully liquid. Well, they got to stay somewhat. I actually have no idea how much money I have. I like to stay 100% liquid at all times. Yeah. I'm about to get a little bit more liquid and a little bit. Oh, you got to get liquid. If you're not liquid, you're not making moves. I don't know. That's a good question. Why did purple become the color of royalty? Probably like some some fucking king in England who fucked like all his relatives and they just made more fuck babies relatives. One of them was like he bumped into his coffee table and

the hematoma like bruise got really purple on his shin. And then they're like, Oh my God, that's like King Charles. That's beautiful. And then they said, Oh, that's the color of the royal family. And then he just keeled over and died. And he was also seven years old. That's actually close to my theory. We're gonna be some some king or somebody in Europe had like a skin disease when they turned purple and were really fucking ugly. Yeah. And then they were like, actually, this is good. Yes. So you should all chemophilia. You should all strive to look like yeah, right. Like this is I'm the hottest one here because every time that I brush up against something, I get a deep bruise in my skin. It almost kills me. It's like back in the day when

they used to just tell people, Oh, if you're fat, that's actually the most cool thing to be back in the day. Yeah. Well, it's coming back. Yeah. Yeah. It's silly back for a while. Power for a while. Thin was in. Yes. It was heroin chic. Now it's now it's munchies mound. Yeah, right. Oh, speaking of munchies, shout out to Canada. Legalized marijuana. Nice. We should go up there. Yeah, we should. Not for the weed. No, just the friendly people. And it's the Tim Hortons. I actually like I like Toronto a lot. Toronto is a great city. Do you think anybody's made a bong out of a moose yet? They've tried. It's probably a moose antler, you mean? Doug Ford definitely did it. Yeah. Rob Ford's brother. But yeah, same thing. All right.

We'll see everyone Monday. We have Dave Damichek, the return of Pittsburgh legend Dave Damichek. And also, if you're listening to this right now, you can keep listening to the whole show, but if you listen to this and you're in New York City, maybe pause it at 9 30 because we're going to be on W W F A N with Boomer and Gio, right? Boomer and Gio. Yeah. And we're going to interview Boomer the fan and we got to stop saying Boomer. Why? Because I say it to everyone and they're like, you're going to fucking Chris Berman and like, ah, it's fucking Boomer. So yeah, I'm just going to call him Phil Sims tomorrow. Yeah, I'm going to just do that the whole time. My stick will do that the entire time. And then your son's a real shithead. Yeah. Because it's Blake

Bortles. Yeah. Why don't you tell your son to stop hating Blake Bortles? You asshole. That would actually one time we should do that. We should do a whole interview with someone and just pretend there's someone else. Maybe tomorrow. I think it would not play for anyone except ourselves. But guess what? We're the most important people. That's a little arrogant of you to say a little bit. You're forgetting about Jesus. Love you guys. I'm a fun guy. Obviously, I love the game of basketball. I mean, it's just more question you have to ask me in order for me to tell you about myself. I just can't give you a whole school. I don't even know where you're sitting at.