Pardon My Take - Mark Titus, Mt Flushmore Of Things We’re Elite At, Plus We Watched A Horrible Tony Danza Movie

Episode Date: April 10, 2020

It’s Friday so we’re bringing that energy and we have an update on the podcast charity ride, it’s now a tandem bike ride around Manhattan.(2:39-17:37) Fyre Fest of the week is Gronk going to Tampa? (19:11-30:46) Old friend Mark Titus joins the show to catch up with the guys and do the Mt Flushmore of things were elite at. (32:11-1:18:34) Segments include Stephen a Smith stay off the weeeed? (1:20:54-1:23:33) Kings stay Kings Bill O’Brien. (1:23:34-1:29:56) Bored Idea. (1:29:58-1:33:49) And a movie of the 1998 Tony Danza Classic The Garbage Picking Field Goal Kicking Philadelphia Phenomenon (1:33:50-1:40:09)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, we have our very good friend, long-time recurring guest, maybe like the third or fourth recurring guest ever. It is Mark Titus, Club Trillion. He is here to talk about March Madness. What a great March Madness it was.

No, seriously, we're going to catch up with him. Awesome time. We're going to talk about what March Madness would have been, and then we did a Mount Flushmores with him, Mount Flushmore of things that you are elite at being bad at. So it's kind of the opposite. Hank is literally dying. He's eating something that's too hot. It is the opposite of what we did in the summer, where we're things we think we're sneaky elite

at. Hank is dead. Does Rhea know the Heimlich maneuver? Hank is dead. We're doing the ads. Why did you think this was a good time to start eating when we started the show? I was just thinking that the food was passed to me and I couldn't not help myself. I figured I'd get a quick roll in as the ad went, but that was a mistake.

All right. So we have that. We have Firefest. We have a board idea. We have a King's State Kings, and we have our movie review, one of the weirdest, funniest. I can't believe they made this movie, movie reviews we've had. Before we do all that, part of my take is brought to you by The Cash App, not always the easiest place to send money to your friends.

It's the safest. You don't need to be face to face when you use The Cash App. You can use The Cash App, send money to your friends, send money to your family, send money to maybe a nurse that you think is doing a great job or a bartender or a waiter, someone that you miss, do it with The Cash App, and you never have to get face to face. You never have to touch that disgusting, grubby money because you can do it with The Cash App and it is the app for social distancing. And of course, when you download The Cash App and enter the refer code barstool, you'll

receive $10. Use that $10 by yourself, maybe something online or send it to someone who needs it and The Cash App will also send $10 to ASPCA, download The Cash App from the App Store or Google Play Store today and get involved with The Cash App. Okay, let's go. Welcome to part of my take presented by The Cash App code barstool, welcome to part of my take presented by The Cash App, go download it right now, use code barstool, you get $10 for free, $10 to ASPCA.

Today is Friday, April 10th, boys, little snaps for the boys, we're a third of the way through April, we're a third of the way through April, I've actually been having this debate all week. Do we, the Apex, let's talk Apex real quick, the Apex, okay, that doesn't seem like- What is Apex? Okay, so the Apex of the coronavirus in New York City is supposed to have happened either yesterday or today. Now it seems like a good thing that we could maybe be on the other side of the curve, but

I don't think you want to cheer the Apex, kind of an awkward spot. Right, because tomorrow is going to be just as bad as the day before yesterday was. Right. If the Apex is today. So yeah, you don't want to cheer yet, we're like, we're cresting a mountain, but you don't get, the difference is you don't get to like coast down this mountain, it's not like you biked up and now it was hard for the last, you know, two, three weeks and now it's going to be easy as we just take our foot off the gas or off the break, whatever you want to

say. It's going to be tough for the next couple of weeks, but at least it's not March anymore because March was awful. You cannot convince me that March is normally 31 days, that's bullshit. March is usually 30 and this year it was 31 just to like twist that knife and to be like there's no basketball, there's nothing going on, you're sitting at home here, have some more March. Here's, here's my issue with the Apex.

I hope that the Apex, we've reached the Apex, we're at the top of the mountain is like, Hey, let's go, let's go on down. Let's go on down slow. Let's go on down. Let's go home. Maybe, you know, grab a hot dog, a cold one. We've had a long, you know, trip, trip. We had a chewy bar up top, but otherwise we're pretty hungry.

My problem is, I think we've got, like if we get to the Apex and then we've noticed that like, wait, there's like six more Apexes that we just didn't even see there. And the UFC, the UFC cancelling their next pay per view is making me scared. And I know that the powers to be were like ESPN and Disney basically said, you can't do this Dana White. They got pressure from California. All that shit came down on them. But Dana White, when Dana White has to adhere to the rules, makes me a little nervous and

the other news that made me a little nervous, but we'll see Brian Windhorst coming out and saying that the NBA basically reprimanded him for being negative about the prospects of finishing this season. That also feels like a scared tactic like, Hey, we probably are going to cancel it, but shut up, shut your face and don't say it until we get to like summertime and people won't be as bumped. Yeah. When Dana White gets put in check, he's like, you know, he's a barking dog and you love having

a rowdy barking dog. And he had the shock collar treatment where like he barked a little bit too loud and drew the attention of the United States Senate. And at that point he was like, okay, I can't do fight Island, but he did say, he did say fight Island is being built right now. So he's not backing down from the fight Island idea. If anything, he's probably putting more resources in the fight Island, which by the way, it better be a fucking Island.

If it's being advertised as fight Island, I don't want it to be like a cruise ship. I don't want it to be an Isthmus or a peninsula. I want it to be a fucking Island in international waters where John Bones Jones can fight because he's not being chased by the police there. I want it to be a legitimate sovereign like nation that Dana White owns where the only rule the only law is there are no laws, no fish okay, that's the only law. It's probably going to be like at the exact same spot where firefest was held, like on that little strip that was outside of the hotels and stuff.

It's probably probably what they could just, you know what they should do? Just get like real low tech with it, rent a truck and just like build a build a small temporary octagon in the back of a moving truck or an 18 wheeler and just drive around and have the fights inside. Why do you think trucks are? Get a double wide. Boom. Problem solved.

Get a trailer, put it on wheels, drive it around and then just like challenge the police to find you. You want to stop my fight? First you got to find me. They won't know what state to charge you in if you're constantly crossing the boundaries. So we have that news and then put here's the positive news. PFT had the idea on Wednesday and we're going to make it a full blown idea where it's something we're going to put our resources and minds behind the charity bike tour of Manhattan

to help podcasts gain back the listeners they've lost during this recession. Yeah. So yeah, that's that's approximately what we're going for here. But the real I want to stress this. This is not a charity for part of my take. We're doing this because we're trying to help the industry. You know, they say as iron sharpens iron as does one podcast sharpen another. And the fact is the industry as a whole is down.

We're still doing fine. We're doing actually probably better than we have ever like we're good, but it's almost like oh for us. Like I want, I want more competition. I want to help out those when they're down. You remember when when Bill Gates bailed out Steve Jobs, like way back in the day when Steve Jobs ran out of money, I'm trying to help out our competition. So I think what we're going to do, I think Big Cat and I are going to ride on a tandem

bike around the entire island of Manhattan together Rex and Rob Ryan style. And what we're going to do is we're going to open up the ratings section on part of my take for a short period of time. And if you, if you rate us with five stars, leave in the comment section, a recommendation of any podcast that you want us to promote. If it's your podcast, it's a podcast that you're listening to a competitors and we'll have Jake Marsh do like little mini ad reads, they'll read your reviews, they'll read your recommendations live on the Twitch stream and on the Instagram live channel.

So we can promote other podcasts because a rising tide lifts all boats. Right. Hank is going to be on his electric skateboard. No. Yes. I think I, I think you're going to be on the bike. You're going to be on a bike. Oh, bike.

No, I'm, I, it's hard. I can't film riding a bike. I can film riding the skateboard. What are you talking about? You can put a camera on your bike and it can, you can basically be the oppo cam where you just go like in and out, like showing us like from different angles. That's what I, that's the plan for the skateboard. But your skateboard only lasts for 30 minutes.

So you're going to bail. It lasts. No. It lasts like an hour and a half. Okay. So an hour and a half bike ride in Manhattan. Well, it's going to be, it's a 31 mile bike ride. So that's a little too much.

Yeah. It is a little too much, but guess what? Big cat. We're not doing this for us. We're doing this for podcasts. And then what about Bubba? What's he going to do? He's got a bike.

Bubba's, I don't know. Bubba strikes me as like a BMX guy, like a motocross guy. I want Hank along for the whole ride. He can't, I know what he's going to do. He's going to, you got your skateboard and then yeah. Bubba, how many, how many Fox sweatshirts do you own or like monster energy drink hats? Oh, Bubba, can we get you on one of those? Like, yeah, the little mini dirt bikes?

Yeah. The tiny ones? Oh yeah. Like they rode around in the new Rocky movie. Yeah. You would crash that and break your pelvis like instantly. We'd probably just, the whole charity drive would just be us at the fucking cruise ship hospital.

Just hanging out. We're here with Bubba. Is that what Meek Mill got arrested for? Yeah. Something like that. He's on probation. A lot of things. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, that'd be good for Bubba's clout though. So like you and Meek Mill, the owner of the 76ers come out to like bail you out. So we're going to do it on a Friday and it's going to be one of the next two Fridays. I don't know if it's going to be next. I think we need to like actually see how the weather's doing because like if we do it with our luck, we'll do it like when it's pouring out. Going into right now is you're pre-canceling a place.

No, I don't want to do this. I really did. You said, you texted and you're like, hey, what about a tandem bike? And I go, haha. Yeah. No, I said, you were more than welcome to say, no, I wanted to include you. I wanted this to be something. I know.

I just 31 miles a shitload of miles. What about it? What if we got a Huffy and you had pegs and I just hopped on the back. No, I'm dry. Yeah. I was going to say, I'm driving this one. My buns of anarchy training has led me to this point. No, that means you have to be in the back.

That's where like the, it's like a canoe. Like the back is the power is the engine. You understand how tandem bikes work. Yeah. No, that's the, you want, if you are going too fast, you're going to be dragging me where you want to be. I'm your rear wheel drive. And you'll be drifting behind big cat the whole time.

He'll be blocking on the air. So that's, that's more. Yeah. You don't want to be in the, in the front. I do want to be in the front. I'm looking at the picture right now, the Ryan brothers and Rob was in the back. Rex was up front right after he had the lap band surgery. So I think you got to be in the back.

I'm just telling you, it doesn't, that doesn't make sense. Like you would, you would want the stronger biker in the back. Otherwise you're pulling me instead of, I'm putting you on my back. Right. But you would want it the other way. Like you want to be like, you're pushing us. You want me to be the ass of the bike again in a canoe. You want the stronger rower in the back.

I'm going to, I'm going to steer this one. You steer the RV. You steer the van to sit behind you for fucking four hours. Now this really sucks. Maybe we switch off. We can alternate. Yeah. Because we're definitely going to need to take some breaks for like granola or like some

gore. Maybe I have some meal. Belling salts. What about a meal? Oh, yeah, we can stop at, well, no, there are no restaurants that are open. Okay. I'm actually, you know what? Fine.

P.F. Wait. No, no, this is not going to work. I'm reading right now. If the most tandem bikes, the taller person should sit in front. That's what it's saying. I just Googled it. You Googled should the tallest person.

No, I said faster biker front or back tandem. You're a better biker than me. I'm not saying you're not like, I'm just trying to figure out the fastest way to get this fucking done with. Cause I'm sick. We got the logistics behind the scenes. But the great news is if you want to help out this charitable cause, you don't have to pay a single red cent.

Nope. Well, this is all being big cat and Hank and Bubba and we are going to do a service for the greater good of the podcasting community. And it'll be as big cat says either next Friday or maybe the Friday after that or the Friday after that. Another Friday. Right now, right now it's absolutely planned for next Friday. All right.

So I'm in for it. We're going to do it. I'm joking around. I'm so looking forward to, to biking actually own a bike now. So I bought, I got a bike today. I was sick. Yeah. Well, I was given to me.

No, no, our boss, Dave Portnoy is doing his unboxing and someone gave him a $3,000 bike and I got it. Oh, that's pretty sweet. Yeah. I mean, if I don't, I already told spider that if I don't use it once a week in the next for the next two months, I will give it back to him so he can have it because I probably won't use it. I was like rash, like, Hey, improve myself.

Maybe I'll get into biking. That sort of thing. Yeah. I mean, I've already, I've already ordered so many like accoutrements and accessories to go or some for me, like, uh, yeah, I did actually, I got you some sick ass biker gloves. Hell yes. Hell yeah. I just like, I love our bicyclist gloves, biker gloves.

I do my shopping in the, in the biker section and just ignoring the fact that I'm talking about a bicycle and not a hog. So I've got a, I've got a Harley helmet. I've got some spiked gloves coming for you. So we're going to be good. Um, all right. So we're going to do that. Look out for that.

That will be very, very, uh, interesting. We're going to do an Instagram live for the whole thing or Twitch or whatever we're going to do. We're going to be live. We got to get, we got to get the, uh, helmets where we can get the cameras attached. So we should just come with like seven different cell phones and just keep swapping them out. And both of us should be live on different platforms. We should actually be live on all three platforms for the entire time.

We should duct tape different phones to our heads and would just always be live, always be content, but I'm different. Yeah. We're true in showing ourselves. Yeah. You, it's actually like the ESPN when they showed the national championship. Yeah. It will be like, Hey, you want to go to ESPNU and, and, and watch a PFT's ass from big

cats cam. Or you want to see Hank have like the sky view where you can get the whole 360. We should have a coach's room too, where we have, we have some people breaking down our biking technique. Who's a good bike cyclist? You're, you're buns of anarchy gang. Yeah. I'll get, I'll get Booger and, uh, and liner to break down the, uh, the biking journey.

I do actually have a, uh, old phone that I've reactivated to go, be able to go live, like on multiple things. I should, um, I should tape it to the seat and start a zoom and just have that be like literally the fart cam. I just sit down on it over and over. It's just your ass. Just extreme close. Just going up and down.

Yeah. I did see that you, was it you that you have plans for, uh, the Kentucky Derby? Yeah. I'm trying to, I'm trying to take my horse racing, uh, to the next level and just run like 11 races that day on my track. I like that. And like a big hat and all that stuff. The problem is all these plans, like you can't do it with more than like three people, but

you can be remote. Yeah. Oh yeah, I can. Yeah. But it's just like, it's so funny to be like, Hey, we should do this big thing. It's like, Oh yeah, but we can't do this big thing because we can't bring like people into the office. If people got just like hammered his shit and dressed up in their finest and just got

on zoom, watching your horse race. Yeah. Can I, can I get dressed up like Hunter S Thompson and get fucked up on all kinds of drugs and then write a recap of the day? No, you can get dressed up like that other guy who, uh, who, what's that guy's name who's like Dale Earnhardt's best friend and he always does like the scene. What's that? Oh, no, the guy that looks like Spencer Hall from SB nation.

Yes. What is his name? I forget that guy's name. No, I'd rather just get really messed up on drugs and no, I gave you, I gave you your role. So, uh, that's, that's your role. Announce her crew. There you have it.

I love the Kentucky Derby because it has like 17 people doing different things. Uh, we should get Randy Moss involved. Oh yeah. We should get Randy Moss handicap all of it. Fuck. Oh, that bummed me out thinking that we're not going to have Randy Moss. All right. I'll figure it out later.

This guy's name, whatever his name is. Someone tweet me his name tomorrow. Uh, all right, let's do our fire fest before we do that a quick word from our friends at Mugsy. Uh, I've been wearing jeans all quarantine. People have been making fun of me. They're like, Hey, big cat. Why are you wearing jeans inside?

Well, guess what? I'm wearing Mugsy. So they basically aren't jeans. They're basically sweatpants, but they look like jeans and that's not an exaggeration. We don't know how the guys at Mugsy do it, but their jeans feel like sweatpants that had sex with even more comfortable sweatpants and somehow had an awesome jeans baby. Mugsy was started by a studio is tired of being uncomfortable in his jeans. His goal was simple reinvent men's jeans to look good and feel outrageously comfortable

after five years of working with industry experts. He perfected jeans for the common man. The magic is in Mugsy's proprietary denim, which is made from a bunch of high tech materials that make these jeans mind blowing, soft and flexible. Even better Mugsy's come in stylish fit. That's not too baggy, but not too tight. So you somehow look even better than you feel if you want to look good indoors for yourself or your partner, want to look, uh, want to look for your boss on that important good

look good for your boss on that important zoom call later, well, then you got to choose Mugsy. Mugsy is so confident. You love their jeans. They do free shipping and return. So your comfort is 100% guaranteed. Do your legs a favor head to M U G S Y.com. That's Mugsy.com.

To check out Mugsy's full line of jeans and safe for work, she knows, including new sizes and styles. Use code PMT for $10 off. That's a beer on us and a pair of the most comfortable men's jeans ever made by heading to Mugsy.com using code PMT, Hank, your firefests. And if you fucking say that you're like sick of getting high and playing video games, I'm going to jump through this screen and strangle you to death. No, it's not that.

Although I am having a tough time, uh, called to do war zone just gets worse and worse. But my firefests actually, uh, the call is coming from within the building. Our own, our very own Leroy Insider, oh, no, reported that, uh, Gronk is close to signing with the Buccaneers or just trying to figure it out with the Patriots. I assumed it was just Leroy doing Leroy things and just, and just, uh, scooping out of, out of the side of his head. What does that mean Leroy doing Leroy things, just reporting a really fast and loose and like going more for the interaction in the, in the buzz than necessarily the truth.

Um, but I did a little bit of research on my own and there's actually like some, some where there's, was it where there's smoke, there's fire and it's heartbreaking. It's tough to even think about. I haven't, I still haven't listened to talking about Gronk going to the box. Hmm. Hmm. Where does you say it? I wanted you to really say it.

Yeah. Instead of smoke, fire is where there's boops. There's scoops. Wait, wait, what is it about again? Gronk going to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. So Gronk retired from the New England Patriots and he would play last year and he would, he would join up with Tom Brady in Tampa Bay. So kind of like the noted wait, noted pothead Tom Brady.

That's right. Yeah. He smoked weed in high school a couple of times and sober Gronk and Tom Brady truly the odd couple, uh, this, there's actually some merit behind this reporting. I will tell you that Leroy has good sources. His ass is firmly. He scooted his ass all over the story, put his stink on it, put his mark on it. And you'll note that every single bucks personnel guy that's been asked about this, uh, whether

it's Bruce Arians publicly, whether it's Jason Light publicly, they are both issuing non-denials. They're not saying they're not interested. They're interested. The talks are happening right now. It's, I would put it at like, Leroy, what would you say? Leroy says 92% it happens. I just hope that.

But that's in dog percent. This is scared off. Like hopefully like Leroy has like scared them away from making this happen. Well, I just, how does that work? He's like a guard dog for your heroes. Yeah. Like, I don't know. Like, oh, shit.

Like they're on to us. We better knock him out of retirement. Yeah. The, um, the best part about like, if this actually happens, there's not a single person there's not a single person better equipped to have like two of his star players leave him willingly leave him than Bill Belichick. Like normally any other person I could think of, they'd be like, what, what's your guys problem?

Like, you don't like me? Like maybe send him a text. You're like, what, what's the deal here? Guys? Like I thought, I thought you retired, Gronk, like Tom, I thought we were friends. Like you'd steal, you know, Gronk and all this stuff, but Bill Belichick will just keep moving. Yeah.

I mean, it would be a big F you to Bill Belichick in principle, but I don't think that Bill would even see it that way. No, he wouldn't care. He would be like, I get an asset. He'd be like, I get an asset for Rob Gronkowski. Like a vindictive guy would, I'll put it this way, Rex Ryan, if it happened to him and one of his former players, they were trying to sign it with another team, Rex would be like, go fuck yourself.

I'm not giving him up for anything. And he would just deal with not having a fourth round pick or a third round pick or whatever it is. Like OJ Howard with Belichick, he's like, yeah, I would absolutely get something for nothing because Rob's not coming back to play. He's in the NFC who gives a shit. Yeah. There's your spin zone, Hank.

You literally would make, you would, you would create a draft pick out of thin air. I don't, I, it would be, it would still be just very, very hard to stop. Do you think who wears 87 for the box? Does anyone? I don't think anybody does. I think it's just 12 to 87 again. Yep. Exactly.

So Hank's understandably upset about it. I'll say this. If Leroy nails the scoop, which I think he's going to, Oh, Jordan Leggett and he gets, oh, yeah, yeah. Grunkle just like fight him for that. Just wrestle him. If Leroy nails it, I think he's going to and he gets credit on the ESPN bottom line for breaking the story.

I think Leroy might retire from the scoop business. I think he might go out. No, you have to be definitive here. Leroy will go out and you have Leroy will retire if the ESPN bottom line credits at Leroy insider or Leroy the dog for breaking the news about this grunt thing. So then that'll be his final scoop. Then the question is the the owner of Leroy's account who has an addiction to breaking news, whether real or fake.

What does he do? I'll get another dog. Okay. I was going to say like you're just very selfish. No, Leroy will go out. He'll go out on top and I'll put him out to pasture. If you want to stud him out, I'll let him have sex with your dog, you know, just like an old racehorse that won the Kentucky Derby. This is the best journalistic hound in the history of dogs.

So like if you're looking, if you're doing your Mount Rushmore. Whoa, what about that rent in 10 guy? He was a cop. Oh, yeah, he was a cop. He was a cop. All right. Yeah. Yeah. I see. Leroy would be the best dog reporter of all time. It's all I had.

Yeah, that's it. What about last? Last he did break the Timmy down a well story. I just had rent in 10s. Yeah. All right, P.F.T. What's your firefest? My firefest of the week is I don't think that there are going to be any more hockey handshakes at the end of big time Stanley Cup playoff series

is because Dr. Fauci said that he doesn't think the handshakes ever going to come back. I'm happy about this. Well, yeah, as white guys, we've just so many daps before that it's actually good for us. Not only that, but it's just it's one hand. The handshake is one of those things that it's like maybe you just have to get super high to think about it. You know, when like sometimes you get high and you start thinking about names, first names, you're like, whoa, what's like someone is named like Paul?

What the fuck? But that's what I've done for the handshake with this entire experience. Like, so wait, when you see someone, you just put your hand out there and shake it and just share every germ you have on your hands. That's weird. It's weird. If it was any other part of your body that you did this with, it would be bizarre, right? Right. Doesn't matter if it was like you're if you locked elbows with somebody and rubbed

elbows, if you did anything with your neck or your ears, like for some reason with the hand, it's just common acceptance to shake hands. Maybe the only downside to this is maybe we'll become a cheek kissing society. And cheek kissing is like what seems way worse. Every every now and again, significantly worse. The cheek kiss is like, OK, but for the most part, it's like bizarre and weird, unless I'll put it this way, unless you're a University of Florida football player getting ready to walk past your coach's

wife, the cheek kiss is always like a little too intimate, I would say. I would say there's never been a good cheek kiss. Mrs. Mullen's pretty good at it. There there's not a time when it's like this is it's it's family members that you don't want to do a cheek kiss with. It's it's a weird thing. She my girlfriend's family is Italian. I never know what to do at gatherings.

Like it's like I just don't have it down. Yeah. Yeah. All right. My uncles and uncles and shit that I've never like I met one time. I'm going to have to go in and kiss them. Just DX them. Maybe that'll be our new greeting. Just everyone just DX is everyone.

I'm fine with that. Or do the I've seen some people do the hand on the heart. It's fucking so stupid. But I kind of it's like, hey, I can keep my spaces like what I was talking about on Monday, it's cool to just keep your space from everyone at all times. What about the hand on the heart and the point? That or just just a just a knuckles. Just go nuts up on everyone.

Just pound it. Yeah. Pound it. Hey, and if you really like the person explode that shit. Pounding is the same thing. It's the same thing. No, it's not. No, it's not. You're you're killing germs because you touch things with the this side of your hand you pound with this side of your.

Yeah, you're you guys are both punching germs at the same time and knocking them out. It's actually very nuclear fission. That's how strong we are. All right. My firefest. I got to the bulls have finally hired a new GM and I should be happy. I'm just calling him a K because I still don't know how to fully pronounce his name Art Arturus Kinesius from Denver. Seemingly the smart thing they did.

Like, hey, the bulls did something smart. But my firefest is I've been so battered by Jerry Reinstorff and John Paxson that I just assume John Paxson is going to keep his job. And then in like three years, bug AK's office and do a power play and get back power and then like reset, he gets another 10 years. So probably that's it's one of those, you know, when you get in that situation where you get objectively positive, great news, which this is like he is a stud. He will be good for the bulls.

Like he's going to actually maybe have a scouting department and analytics and all these things that teams have figured out a decade ago. The bulls might do, but you're in the back of your head. You're like, well, how are they going to fuck this up? That's always a bad place to be. But that's where I know as a Redskins fan, I've never had an experience like that where we do something good. But in the background, Vinnie Serrano, you guys don't really do anything good.

So well, I mean, Joe Gibbs, he was he was pretty good. Yeah, that was a long, long time ago. Oh, bringing him back. That was not good. And then my, my firefest, my other firefest is I bought, I have my my horse track race every night, six, 57, the cat gave Derby's electric, both literally and figuratively. And so I said, Hey, you know what would be better if I got an eight lane track?

And so I bought a $200 eight lane track online. Didn't read the fine print. It's just a fucking board game. Look at this thing and you pay $200 for it. Look at this. Look how big this is. That's it. Is it hand painted?

It's fucking huge. What do you have to like roll dice to like, yeah, I will at some point we will do follow through a treasure map. I'm trying to figure out how it's possibly $200 for that thing. Follow the part of my take, which hangs playing all the time. PFT is going to be doing stuff that we'll get to the board idea. I'm playing video games on there now too. But at some point, maybe, maybe, uh, maybe when we go in one night, we'll

just sit down and we'll play this on Twitch. Oh, I did five hours. I bought, um, I bought a Super Nintendo with Donkey Kong Country and Super Mario World and Firefox or what's, no, it's not far, uh, Star Fox. Oh, wait. No, Star Fox and 64 though. Star Fox. No, no, Star Fox and 64 was better.

It was pretty good for a Super Nintendo. Yeah. Star Fox on N64 was, was the shit. I've got like a bunch of old school games. See, that's, that's pretty much when I gave up on video. After GoldenEye, um, you might as well just like knock me out unconscious in terms of video games and woke me up like a year ago because there's no one in between for me.

Just give me a second. I got to roll this whole fucking thing up. That's how big it is. It's probably getting into some of those like, there we go, Hank. Good one. Look at this guy's. Oh shit. Yeah.

I fucking smoked that fatty board game that I paid $200 for. I didn't read the fucking print. You're going to leave a review or what? Yeah. Everyone make sure you read the fine print. All right, let's do, let's do our interview with Mark Titus. And we have, uh, our Mount Fleshmore of things that we are exceptionally bad at. Before we do that, a quick word from our friends at Grubhub.

We got to support our local community. You can still order food online. You can still order food from the cover of your couch and you can order your local favorites with exclusive rewards from Seamless. So you can help save your local community with support or sorry, supper for support. That's nice. Every evening you get $10 off your order of $30 or more. So you can save while supporting the restaurants you love, select contact free

delivery, a checkout when you stay home and order in with Seamless to safely support the restaurants you love, donating funds to help when you order, you don't, you donate the change contributions, support impacted restaurants and drivers through the Seamless Community Relief Fund. This is awesome guys. You got to do it. It's basically telling you that you get $10 off every time you order $30 or more. So you can save while supporting the restaurants you love.

And that's the way to do it with supper for support. We got to make sure that we take care of each other, take care of our community so that when all this is over, all these places are still going to be there vibrant and ready to go. And you can do it by using Seamless and doing supper for support. Every evening you get $10 off your order of $30 plus. So you can save while supporting the restaurants you love. Go do that right now and help your community.

Okay. Here he is, Mark Titus. Okay. We now welcome on our good friend, recurring guest, uh, one time ban because he did say those terrible things, hateful things, hateful things that we had to delete from the podcast. Can't believe we have you back. It is Mark Titus.

He is from Fox Sports. He has a podcast on Westwood one podcast network called Titus and Tate. Let's start there, Mark. Uh, who had worse timing? I got in the real estate business in 2008, seven. I got in the casino business January, 2020, 2020. You got into the, I'm going to leave my job that I've been at and my podcast feed to do my own podcast feed.

It's college basketball. The one year they don't have a tournament. Yeah. And not only that, we waited until like halfway through the season to sign our contracts. Uh, and we kept telling ourselves it's okay because all that matters is March. Anyway, it's the only time people care about college basketball is March. So as long as we have a big March, we'll be okay.

It's okay. Um, no, you guys must be really star for content. If you're having me back on, I mean, I thought I, yeah. No, we, we were like, Hey, our, our good friend, Mark, no big risk. No, we went out. He's probably going to get fired. Even I don't even know. Do you have an employer?

What we really said was John Ross, he's not picking up our calls. So let's get Mark on the line and talk to him. No, you're one of our long time favorite guests. So, uh, people actually. Yeah. Am I the first, am I like the longest running like continue? I mean, you were trying to pick a guy that Chris Long was number one. You were the first college basketball, I guess.

Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know about great timing. This was a great timing. Like this was one of the best investments I've ever made my career was, uh, responding to PFT and four years ago when he's like, Hey, I just launched this podcast with this guy named big cat. Yeah.

Yeah. We're, we're, we're long because you guys launched it in March, right? And you're like, we need college basketball. Yeah. Something we can come on and, uh, all I wanted was to just see PFT space. And then he wore sunglasses in the interview and I was like, what are we doing? It's just us three. Why are you wearing sunglasses, dude?

Anyway, then we met, uh, then we met like a month later on the original grit week in India where we got into a hardcore debate about LeBron versus MJ. That big cat started as a joke, but ended up taking extremely seriously. So did Mark Titus and so did Hank who said Bill Russell and we all very drunk. And then we saved your brother's life. So it was a good time. That is true. Yeah.

My brother passed out in the, uh, in the bus. I remember, um, I remember not really caring that much. And like PFT, you know, I would just kind of lock eyes and laugh at how ridiculous it was that Dan was taking it so seriously. And then like 10 days later, 10 days later, like the finals are going on. And the, the, the calves are with you on the heat at the time. You must have been on the heat or whatever. Whatever team LeBron is, I'm in the finals for one of those eight years in a row

that he went and they lose and Dan text me and I took a screenshot and sent it to PFT and the rest of history. Yeah. But I got you, you care, you care. Cause you bring it up every time I see you, you care. You absolutely care. I know you do deep down. I know that you have a, you're, you're a guy who wants to just sit around,

drink some beers and debate some sports. Yeah. Yeah. Mark, how are you spending your days right now? What are you doing? Uh, it's horrible. I'm just, I'm quarantine. No, Le, uh, well, you had it, right?

Brutal. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. I was supposed to come to a, no, I remember, I vividly remember a fox. We were going to come to the, the big news department in York and I'd set up, uh, seeing you guys, um, you guys were working on your excuses to flake on dinner.

Uh, it was all, it was all, everything was going according to plan. Um, and then Fox said, we're not sending anybody anywhere. And, and I was like, I'm sorry, what? And they're like, yeah, we're worried about the coronavirus. And this was probably the, I don't know, end of February or something. And I, and I remember like getting, not really a fight with my boss. I was like, just in his office. Just like, this is the dumbest shit I've ever heard.

What are we doing? Like this is so stupid. Um, yeah, I, I, I regret, I regret every time I said that, uh, so then I told you guys, I was like, Hey, Fox isn't sending us cause of Corona. And then you mocked me as well. And then Dan, I think, oh, what PFT, you said, like, didn't say considering canceling the tournament. And then Dan was like, that's definitely not going to happen.

I couldn't believe it. I was so, I said it. I was so upset. And then he said that Mark's not going to be here because of Corona. And then I, I thought that you had it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So congrats on beating. Yeah. I'm just quarantine in LA. I, I, you know, it's, it's been a rough go. The beaches are closed here. Um, so that's been brutal. My, my maid can only come once a week to the social distancing. So now are you, are you quarantined because of Corona or just because it's

raining there right now? It is, it is raining. How do you know this? Are people just reading about it? I got, we always check, we always check the weather in LA, right? When we wake up every morning, we just make sure it's a capital of the world. Yeah. Um, so, so Mark, can you do this for us before we do our Mount flush more draft?

Can you give us like two to three endings of March madness that you saw could have happened, like almost fanfic? I'll take off my pants and we could just like, we could really just dive into it. Like, oh my God, Obi-Toppin fucking finished off the dream season Dayton. I would have some great literally translates tweets for him to fuck. I think, uh, Dayton beating Kansas is one, uh, they had the great Mount Invitational game. I think, uh, having a rematch, um, with the national player of the year,

the national coach of the year, a mid major. When's the last time a mid major won a national championship? It's been a long time. It was last time a mid major got to the final four. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah.

Uh, two years ago for we all are probably, but yeah, sister Jean. Yeah. Do you, but before that, George Mason, before that, yeah, yeah. Um, yeah, that would have been, that would have been awesome. That would have been, that's one fanfic. Can we do like, what's the big 10 fanfic? It has to be Michigan State, right? Given what like Cassius once said, no, no, I think that's in the 20 years

anniversary of, of Izzo getting the last one. Uh, has it been that long? Yeah. I think, I think the Michigan State fanfic is they beat like they beat a blue blood in the lead eight, Duke or Kentucky. And then yeah, go on to win it all and maybe even, I don't know. I feel like they would have, I feel like a fanfic for Michigan State would have had them playing a complete nobody came in coming out of nowhere in the finals.

So it wouldn't have even been a memorable final except for Izzo and Cassius Winston. Right. Yeah. I, that's fair. I think I just, I just wanted the big 10. I was, I was rooting for the, I mean, you know, I'm speaking, I'm preaching the choir a little bit. Uh, I know big cap, but, uh, it's, it's been too long.

It's very frustrating. It is. Big 10 loses title games and, and, uh, we, we know that the big 10, like the ACC is probably better, not this year. The ACC was dog shit this year, but, uh, the ACC might be a better basketball conference, but the big 10 is definitely number two if we're not number one. And we can't say anything because we never win national titles and it's very frustrating.

I would just like to win one. Well, you can say, you can say whatever you want. You just have to mute the words Michigan state 2000 and then you're fine. Right. Like no one can say or routine cleave just to extra make sure the, the quality filters are totally on that way. No one can fuck with you. I, would you have like, tell me this, just give me, give me 30 seconds.

I did buy fully in on this Wisconsin team and I did think they were going to make what, what I thought they were, I didn't think they were going to go to the final four, but I thought they were going to get to the street 16 and maybe even get to the elite eight and have it be like one of those crazy, like how the fuck are these guys doing it? Because how the fuck did they do it in big 10 play? Did you say it on air when you came on our show or was it after, before the interview, when you're like, we have to fire a great guy, he's not sure.

And then they never lost again. It was crazy. It's another one of your great timing. We'll get to that when we do the Mount Fleshmore of terrible, like things were terrible at that's definitely one of the, uh, yeah, uh, uh, Wisconsin. No, it was, it was not happy. I mean, you can't simultaneously, here's how I knew Wisconsin like wasn't actually that good.

It was like Wisconsin fans were clamoring for Greg Gardner to be national coach of the year and, but then they were also, and then you were also upset that like no one made the all big 10 team. You guys won the, you guys won a part of the league and no one made the all big 10 team and Wisconsin fans are like, how could we, like basically you were, you were very confused because on one hand you wanted respect and you wanted like all of the media types like me to say like, wow, Wisconsin's a true national title contender.

On the other hand, you were like, wow, our coach basically had the shittiest team ever went a big 10 title. He's a magician. How he did this. So you're like conceding that your team was not that good. And it was like a miracle that you want to actually good point. Okay. Who are you talking to?

Because if you talk to me, I would have told you exactly what I said a million times. I thought that they were like, I didn't know how the fuck they got to where they were. It was incredible. It was awesome to watch. And I, I thought they would probably either lose in the first round, which always could happen or have like a miracle run.

And when I say miracle run, I'm talking sweet 16. Right. Right. That's what I agreed. Yeah. They would have lost the sweet 16 on a buzzer beater tradition. I didn't actually, I didn't take a future on them at 500 to one or no 100 to one, but I didn't actually think they were going to do anything, but maybe, maybe.

That maybe, I don't know, maybe. Which one of the, which one of the top seeds was going to be a fraud? Who's going to get bounced early? Oh man. Who, who was a fraud? I didn't love Baylor. Like Baylor was kind of looking towards the finish line. They had, I thought Baylor was really good this year, but once Bill South kind of

showed everybody like, Hey, what if you just set a middle ball screen? Then people were like, Yeah, we should do that more often than Baylor started losing games. I think Baylor would have, I don't know. I didn't, I wouldn't have trusted them in my bracket. Now, they were kind of looking towards the finish line too. Oh yeah. San Diego State was big time.

Now, to be fair to Baylor, so we don't have everyone yell at us. I agree with everything you said, but with the caveat that not every team had as a bouquet because that game against Kansas, he was in fucking sane. I think he had like, I don't even know. I don't remember. I think he had like 18 rebounds in like 20 plus points, which is insane. Yeah. But yeah, I,

I agree with, did you think Gonzaga had a chance to maybe finally make the final four? Gonzaga, I really hated this Gonzaga team. It was nothing against them. Um, I just, I loved last year's team so much that it really, it would have pissed me off out of respect to last year's team. Like Brandon Clark and Rory Hatcher Murr and those guys, if this Gonzaga team like would have won a national title after last year's team, then you make the final four. I would have been really upset.

And that was kind of the theme of college basketball this year to me was like, basically every team was worse than they were last year. It came, this came as really exceptional, but I, I don't know. So for that reason, I didn't want to cheer for this Gonzaga team, even though I, you know, they were, they were good. I thought they were one of the best teams in the country, but it was just one of those deals that like, like you knew that I kind of had that selfishness that with me at Ohio State, like a year after I graduated from Ohio State in 2011, we were the best team in the

country. Wisconsin beat us. Big Cat, remember this? We were undefeated and you guys won in Madison. That 2011 team was a one seed and like part of me was really pissed off because I was like, if they won the national title, when our 2017 was so much better than them, I'm going to be so fucking mad that like I've missed out on the national title of these guys won. And then they lost to Kentucky and I, as it turns out, that's not what I wanted at all.

Wow. So Mark Titus was rooting against the Buckeyes. Interesting. Full on. That's fucked dude. That's really fucked. Every team was like Virginia was worse, but then they somehow got better at the end of the season.

We're like, wait, is Virginia good again? Yeah. Yeah. They were Virginia was not Virginia was lucky as hell. And I say this is a big time. Virginia fan, you know that I'm as big of a Virginia fan as you guys are LSU fans, which they say I've been a fan my whole life. Definitely.

No, they, they, they got lucky and they, I mean, they, they won like, I think I want to say eight in a row and seven of the eight games were one possession games to end the season. So I didn't really, I wasn't really going to trust Virginia in the tournament, but that's the kid. They won the national title. They're, they're, they're a chance for two years, the longest reign in college basketball history.

There you go. That's huge for your Cavaliers. We call it second year. Actually, before we do our mouth flush more, I had one other question. How is life as an iPhone user? It sucks. I don't like it at all. I like, I bought it.

I bought an iPhone to FaceTime my niece and nephew. That was literally it. My brother and sister have iPhones and they're like, if you want to see, I was like, can you guys like do like a skype thing? Can we do, this was before people knew about zoom, I guess with, with the quarantine everyone, everyone knows how to use them. They're like the only way you're ever going to see your niece and nephew or if you, if you FaceTime us.

So that's the only reason I got it. It's very frustrating. The keyboard sucks. The keyboard I had on my own phone, my own phone is awesome. The auto correct is awesome. I don't know. I'm getting used to it though. It is nice.

I like the Apple watch a lot. I have that. I will, I will say the Apple watch is cool. The AirPods are cool. The phone itself, not a fan. But that's weird. Do you have the one that has the home screen button on it? Or is it just where you have to swipe up?

No, I got the, I got the eyeball, like the one where they like steal your eyeball and all your DNA and they can tell if you. Yeah, I didn't use that one. But then I realized they literally have everything else on me. So it's kind of, I was like, I'm not giving them my face. It's like my face is pretty much all over the internet. I hate the home screen. Like the apps, you can't move them around.

You have to, I don't know. That's the whole thing. Like the Samsung was so, you could customize everything. It was great. If you didn't like certain things, you just got rid of it. You just got it off your homepage. Yeah, but then they exploded. What about the explode?

Like, I don't think iPhones have ever turned into bomb-spot-symbol thing. Exactly. All right. So everyone go subscribe to Mark's podcast. Titus and Tate. What are you guys going to be doing, by the way, now that basketball is canceled forever? Oh, my, my, my, my boss wanted me to plug this.

We're doing, Fox is doing like this ultimate fan bracket. And it'd be great for your listeners to come and troll that, actually. We're doing like, they put out a bracket. Yeah. They put out a bracket of all of the fan bases that they're seated by Twitter following of each of the men's basketball accounts. And it's basically just like a bracket of like, who has the best fan in the college basketball?

Duke is a 1C because they have the most Twitter account, Twitter followers because they buy bots. Oh, fuck that. Well, no, the best part about it is Duke is losing in the first round because they're playing Lehigh. It's a 1-16 game and everybody's watching Duke. Oh, yes. It's so good.

So, Wisconsin's a 3C big, yeah. That's pretty cool. Ohio State's just a 7C. Yeah. All right. I'm getting on that. All right. So everyone, everyone going on that.

Yeah. I'm trying to figure out what's like the funniest thing. I'm sure a 16C is going to end up winning because people are going to troll it, but I don't know what the funniest trolling, just I don't know. I don't know what the funniest outcome is, but I'd like to see you and BC get back involved,

have their Twitter account, the retrievers. How about Gonzaga finally make a Final Four? That'd be nice. There you go. You and BC, we matched them up with Virginia in the first round. They're going to be Virginia kids. I love it. There's that as well.

Anyway. Okay. So everyone do that. Also download Titus and Tate, the podcast. Download it. Last, last question before we do the mouth flush more. Uh, have, have you rewatched, where do you rank Hoosiers in your all time movies?

Oh, I, I don't know. It's a tough rewatch because it feels like it's so cliche and like every beat of that movie has, but it's kind of like, I describe it as like the Seinfeld is unfunny thing where like people ripped off Seinfeld so much that if you go back and watch Seinfeld, it feels like you've already seen this a million times, even if you've never seen Seinfeld before. That's kind of what Hoosiers is to me.

It's like, in my mind, Hoosiers invented sports movies, whether that's true or not, doesn't matter. That's how I've always remembered it. So like part of why I think it's cliche and cheesy and stupid is because everyone saw that copied the formula and took it and ran. They started the cliches. Yeah. Yeah.

I rewatched it recently last week and I, uh, I love the movie. Like I love the movie, but I definitely rewatched it and was like, maybe it's because I was, I was narrating it as I was on radio, so I didn't have the sound on and Hoosiers, the song, the montage song in Hoosiers is probably like one or two best montage song in any sports movie. Like that just gets you so pumped up, but the basketball scenes just kind of suck.

And the last scene, Jimmy Chitwood, like the defense on him was atrocious. I actually went back and watched it and it actually was like true to form. That was how bad the defense was. Yeah, it was bad. Obviously I'm biased. Like I love it not just because I'm from Indiana, but like I

relived that, you know, like playing high school basketball in Indiana. It wasn't quite on that level where like the whole town is like calling a town hall meeting to fire the coach. It's the best player doesn't join the team. It wasn't quite that, but it was, there was a lot of that were like winning. Like I played in front of like, I played high school games in front of like 5,000 people, you know, which is insane. So like that those elements like of the whole town

rallying behind the high school basketball team and like the state championship being the most important thing in the world. Like all that still resonates with me. But yeah, I understand. Like I don't, I don't get super passionate about it because I know I love it and I don't, I don't need to like, I don't need to recruit other people to love that movie. If other people watch it and they're like, this is lame as

shit and I'm, I just kind of shrugged my shoulders. I'm like, I get it. I get why you would think that. I still love it. That's a fair answer. I still love it too. I just rewatch it and was like, wait, do I not love it as much as I used to love it?

Cause like you think of Hoosiers when you watch it as a kid, you're like, this is the coolest movie ever. My dad has lived every second of his life in Indiana, not just Indiana, but like rural Indiana. And um, he hates the movie and it's pretty shocking that he would hate the movie because he's such a basketball guy, loves Indiana high school basketball. He hates the movie because he, he just like will not shut

up about how it's not a true story. It is true that like the small town team won the title, but what, what is not true is that the year before they had gone to like the final four of the state tournament and they, the movie makes it seem like they just kind of like came out of nowhere, but really like they've gone to the final four and they brought everyone back and then won the next year. So my dad is like, he's like the truth or that just like

goes around in the end and was like, fuck Hoosiers. I love it. I love it. So you have to have somebody like that. You have to have a well actually guy. Yes, I like that too. All right. Let's do this draft.

Let's do this draft. So when we had Titus on over the summer, the podcast, everyone loved listening to the life episode where we just kind of talked about all the stuff that's happened to us. So we talked about all the stuff that's happened to us and we did a Mount Rushmore of things that we think that we are sneaky elite at. So now we're going to do one of the highlights of that episode,

by the way. So was it like, what have you found is the lasting legacy? It's got to be the hot soup for you, Dan. Hot soup is definitely up there. I would say the Titus callback joke. Titus callback joke. Whenever we do a good callback joke, it's like saying Kobe before you make a shot.

We say Titus right afterwards. People being shocked that PFT was competent enough to get like a good salary before he, like they were like, what? You didn't live in the woods? Yeah. Like what the fuck? Yeah, I got so many DMs being like, hey, what was the name of the company you worked for?

Because if you were making that much, I would be a millionaire. And it was just like, no way. But yeah. And then, and then Recillo maybe being a serial killer. Yeah. Yeah, Recillo like, Recillo that started a lot of my friends text me and still, to this day still text me like, if he being serious, I can never tell.

And I'm like, nobody can. That's the joy of riding with you. Yeah. So this, this draft was, it's a little bit different because I was unclear at the start. So what we're doing is just things that we're bad at, not necessarily things that we're good at that are things that we think we're good at that we're bad at.

No, things that we are, we think we are the worst. Okay, got it. Like if you had a competition, we would actually probably win being the worst. Got it. Does that make sense? Okay. Yeah.

So it's just the opposite. Yeah. Things you're sneaky elite at sucking at. All right. Hank will go first and Titus than PFT than myself. I mean, it's not, no one's really picking anything from each other. Right.

So putting together furniture, shelves, dressers, things of that nature. I always try whenever I do it, I mess like one little thing up, which basically makes the whole thing pointless. And then I regret it for as long as that dresser stays up in my apartment. Yeah. So you do kind of what I do when you mess something up

as you're building it and you realize that you've messed it up, you just power through and you keep building on top of that error and never fix it. Right? Yeah. One of the most emasculating things I ever did was task-rabbit some guy to come into my home and build my baby's crib.

Yeah. That was like, but you know what? I was like, fuck it, man. Caveman cats would not have survived. Yeah, like, what the hell, man? Who cares? I, you know what? This is, it was too important because it was,

like Hank said, I would definitely have done it backwards and he would have like, we would put a newborn in the crib and it would have fucking folded on itself. Right. If the job's worth doing, it's worth paying a complete stranger to trust to do it right. Yeah. Are you a handyman, Mark?

What? I actually have, yeah. I owned a house for seven years. So like, I took a ton of pride in like, fixing everything myself. And yeah, I'm pretty, I'm pretty, I don't know. Like, I couldn't, you wouldn't like, I wouldn't, I wouldn't have my friends have me do work for them,

but I always can fix things before I like, ask someone else to do it. Yeah. But I get it. I get it. I get being less of a man like Hank is. What's the most complicated thing you've ever repaired? I installed a bidet in my house.

Whoa. So I had, I had, I took apart my entire toilet. I had the, I don't even know if I had to. I just like, did it just for fun. I took the, I had, I installed a new toilet and then installed a bidet on top of the toilet. And there's that. Yeah.

My thing is like, if you could, could have flooded the house. If you can change a tire, which I can and have done, and you can like, unscrew something, you know, like if you needed to get a screwdriver and be like, all right, let me tighten this up. Like I tightens, I, I'm doing, doing enough. I just like to say, oh, I don't have the right tool for that. Yeah.

So like you can get away with not ever fixing anything if you just never buy tools. I have basic competency. I'm not trying to be a hero. I'm not trying to be 10 the tool, man. I don't know, I don't know shit about cars. So I do, I will do the move where I just pop the hood and stare at it for like a few minutes and then go back

in the car and just be like, I've never seen this before. And then I do that with cars. I don't know shit about cars. All right, Mark, your first pick. Okay. My first pick is I have a combo, call of duty slash rocket league. This is not, this is not video games. And the reason I put this on my list is because I play a ton

of video games, right? I have in my life. I'm very, very experienced in video games. I've never met anybody who's better than me. Yeah. Let's do it. I've never met anybody who's better than me at like Tony, the original Tony Hawk.

Like I kill all my friends at FIFA. Even like first player get like, I was off to my grandson's auto. But for some reason, the first person shooters, I suck so bad at call of duty. I'm the worst call of duty player of all time. And then I threw rocket league in there too because I played like three games of rocket league and I was like, this is the dumbest shit.

I mean, I, when I play those video games, it looks like I've never touched a video game controller in my life. I am horrendously bad. Oh no. That's a bad time for the quarantine to be bad at something like that. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

Good pick. Good pick. PFT, you got your first. Yeah. My first one is spelling. That was a pretty easy one for me. Bad speller. Definitely.

Got awful. The auto correct on my phone is 10 kinds of fucked up too. Yeah. I mean, it's good. Yeah. There's no, no complaint there on that first one. That's a pretty damn good one. Uh, okay.

My first one is I'm really bad at ending text conversations. Really bad. Like I always feel like I go one or two extra because I don't want to feel like someone doesn't like, I haven't recognized that I've seen something. I've been shifting a little bit to the like heart like thumbs up guy, but that's also a douchebag. So yeah, I really like probably three times a day I'm in a conversation

that I feel like I didn't end correctly. I think that's also showing your age a little bit. I feel the same way, but most younger people who've grown up just doing nothing but texting, they understand that like you don't have to sign off. Right. A text message. For me, it's always like, all right, we'll circle back on this later. Yeah.

Talk to you later, dude. All right. Good chat. Like I've said, good chat before. That's fucking lame. Yeah. That's terrible. You should have like an email signature for your text messages that you send.

Good chat, man. All the best. Cheers. All right. Talk to you later. Daniel. I do love that. I love that about the iPhone is the the heart and the thumbs up and the ha ha.

But that's a douche move. It's a very lazy way to be like, I mean, it is, but I don't, I mean, and the iPhone is the phone for douches, right? Like so it worked out. Listen, I do it. I do it because I really am that bad that I'm like, I'm just trying to find a way to get out of these conversations. But I know when I do it, it's terrible because it shows up like a text message.

Maybe there's a setting you can change, but I always see someone heart something. I'm like, oh, I have a new text. Oh, no, it's just someone hearting something. Okay. So that's my number one. My number two is I never know when to correctly stop in the savory sweet rotation while snacking. I always fuck it up. So like, you know how like when you're like, you got some chocolate

and maybe you got some pretzels or you got some chips and you got some gummy bears or whatever you're doing. I always am like, oh, I'm good here ending on savory or I'm good here ending on sweet. And I always then lust for the next one. I fuck it up every time. You're bad at the mesh point. Yeah, I just can't. I just always feel like, man, why did I stop there?

I should have gone one more because like I'm a big, I love doing that. Like chocolate in like jerky. You buy snacks in two large vessels. And I'm not saying you buy them in two larger quantities, but instead of getting like a giant thing of cool ranch Doritos get like four medium size and then you reach the end of it. That's the end is always a good stopping. No, because then you're just like, fuck, I want some more. Like I'll do crackers and and like gummy peaches and I'll just sit there and I'll

go back and forth, back and forth, switch it back and forth. And I'll never fucking get the right stop. Okay. Is that what you very timely? Do you ever do that mark? Very, very, yeah. Very, very timely one. A lot of snacking going on in quarantine.

Yeah, that's very true. Yeah, that's a timely one for sure. I wonder if you would have had that on your list had we not all been locked out. Probably not. It's definitely a time. Walk to the pantry. Yeah, it's time for self reflection. Like, dude, you suck at snacking correctly.

My number two is going to be my memory, just just remembering things. I got a bad memory. Always have had it. Forgetful. I guess you'd call it scatterbrained. But yes, it's tough for me to keep something. If I don't write it down, if I don't have like it on my calendar, then I'm just going to forget about it probably.

I was going to say this PFP telling on himself that the reason you guys screw up every snake draft you ever do is because of him as it turns out. No, I think collectively we're bad. Yeah, we're collectively bad. Okay, all right. Yes. But yeah, I would say, yeah, there's definitely times where you're like, hey, what are we doing today?

Or what's going on? Yeah. All right, Mark, your number two. My number two is a small talk and I have two. It's a double pronged under the small talk umbrella. One is the reciprocal small talk, which is like, I'm walking my dog. Someone else is walking their dog and they'll be like, oh, that's a cute dog. And I just say thanks and like keep walking and never,

it doesn't hit me until like five minutes later that I'm supposed to say like, oh, you have a cute dog too. Or like, how old is your dog? Because they'll ask me all about my dog and I'll just sit there and answer every question. And I'm like, all right, see you. And I never asked them about their dog ever. Yep. And I don't do it.

I don't mean to be an asshole. It's just like, I'm not good at that at all. And the same thing with like, you know, a co-worker or somebody asked how my weekend is. I'll tell them and then I'll just turn around and leave. And I don't ever think like, oh, shit, now I'm supposed to. That person's really interested in me. It makes sense now how that whole ringer thing fell apart. Yeah, there you go.

Imagine if that was it. It was like, all these theories online. It's like, actually, Titus just sucks at small talk. Yeah, that's pretty much it. Because I moved out to LA. I had to go into the office and I was like, I can't be around this environment. People just like, hey man, you want a coffee? And I'm like, I quit my job.

Yes. It was like, which Pac-12 team correlates to characters in the Karate Kid? And you give them your answer and you're like, all right, see you later, Bill. Yeah, take it easy. All right, Hank, you're two. My second one, I'll go with taking shots. I can't take shots without looking like a huge pussy. Yeah, are you talking about Call of Duty still?

No, I mean, Call of Duty was on my list too, but Mark took that. But no, even if I want to take a shot, someone's like, you want a shot? And sometimes you're like, no, I don't. But even if I'm like, yes, I do want a shot. When I take it, I just naturally, my face quivers up and I look like a huge bitch. It's a great call because there are definitely shot guys that can just do it. And they are always manlier. We're basically just cucking ourselves with this entire Mount Rushmore because it's like,

you know, like the opposite of what we're saying is just like the manliest guy. He can fix everything, take shots. He's got a guy for everyone. He's sick at Call of Duty. Yeah, we're providers. Yeah, we're definitely not making ourselves out to be alphas. But if you, if you're a shot guy, I think it's because you're the person who orders the shot and you figured out that there's one shot that you can take really well.

So maybe it's just, Hank, you need to figure out what your drink is. And then you order that drink and make everyone else take your drink. Fair enough. And then my next one, I'll go with physically texting back. So a lot of the times I will like get texts and I mentally respond to them all. And then like about 70, 50%, 75% time, I forget. And then I'll scroll back and my message is like a few hours later or a day later and be like, this is so awkward now because I responded to you in my brain,

but I forgot to text you back and now you probably hate me or think I'm a douchebag. So that happens a good amount. I do think that a lot. That's the response in the mind is definitely a problem that's like happened in the last like five years in society. I had that on my list, Hank. So if it makes you feel better, I still call the duty for me. You stole that from me.

I'm the same way with emails too. Emails and text both. I'm the king of like, so sorry for the late reply just now seeing this. It's like 18 days later on the email. So sorry, I got tied up Corona. I will say Corona has been great. A great out for texting and emailing late. You can just say like all the all the craziness going on in the world.

Sorry, I got tied up just now seeing this. That's a good excuse. But yeah, you stole that one from me. Thanks. I'm not to readjust here. All right. You got your next one. Yeah, I'll go with this one.

Uh, my number three is giving toasts. Um, I have, I have three toasts. I give no matter what the like. So I don't know. Maybe I am good at it, but like I have no idea what to say. So I just go with canned toasts. My three ones are here's the new beginnings. I just say it's the new beginnings, raise my glass.

That's it, uh, which surprisingly covers a lot. But I, I, I stole that from just like, I think it was old school when, when Will Ferrell gives Luke Wilson the toaster and just says to new beginnings and handed to him. I was like, wow, that one works. So I'll just raise a glass and say to new beginnings, even if it's not like a wedding or the birth of somebody or anything, just whatever. Um, I do the Kramer one. Here's the feeling good all the time.

Uh, and then the only other toast I have is raise your Ramon Hall of Fame speech when he said Harvard pays off, dreams come true. Bad times don't last, but bad guys do. Yes. And that's it. And if it's not one of those three and I have to like give a toast, I have no idea what to say. So I always, so anybody that's like knows me really well or spends a lot of time around me.

That's heard me give them three toasts a thousand times in my life. Raise your Ramon always works. So I'll give you a pass on that. Yeah. I think if you give that, you're good. Okay. My next one, there's just so much stuff that I'm bad at. Um, I'm going to say apologizing, very bad at apologizing.

It's, uh, it takes me while sometimes to get around to it. Sorry, not sorry. But I do eventually get around to it, just apologizing in a timely fashion, admitting that I'm wrong about stuff. I never wanted to admit that I'm wrong about anything. It's a very bad quality to have and I'm working on it. Are you? I am working on it slowly.

Okay. Yeah, I'd happen to agree with that one. Um, okay. My last two, uh, I'm really, really bad at keeping my car clean, but it's in a very specifically terrible way. And I'm talking about like eating something and then just putting the wrapper, like stuffing the wrapper in like the side door and just fucking leaving it there, even though I pass a garbage can, like where after I parked my car.

And it's the laziest thing that I do. Like I will be that lazy and it's horrible, but I'm, I'm elated. That's elite laziness where I'll like eat something and just stuff it in there. And then like maybe two, every two months I'll go through and they'll be like 16 wrappers, like stowed away like a squirrel throughout my car in various places. I just get around that by not having a car anymore. But yeah, I was just messy with my cars just in general, but not in the same way. Right.

It was like always a new different surprise kind of fucked up in my car. Right. Like there's messy cars and I understand that because I also have that, but like the messiness that I do is so fucking lazy and ridiculous. One of you like, I will actually consciously think about it sometimes. Like finish, like have a coffee cup in my, in my car, park my car and be like, now throw it out later. Do you ever run into the like your cup holder fills up with straw wrappers?

Yeah, or dip spit. Like I'll just be like, now I'll throw it out later. I got it later. Like that's it's exceptional laziness that actually drives me insane, but something in my body like can't get me to do it. Then I'm just like, I have my hands are full. My hands are never full. So it's terrible.

And then my last is I am really, really good at like thinking, like predicting something's going to keep happening and then having it go the exact opposite way like we alluded to earlier. Like I'm, it's half stick, but it's actually really true. Like the minute I have a really firm opinion about something, there's a good chance that the exact opposite will happen. Like we talked about saying Greg guard should be fired and then the badgers not losing, literally not losing again.

They did not lose another game. Like I, I will do that very confidently be like. Bears are back. Yeah. Bears are back. Like I do actually think the bears are back when I tweet that and then they will 100% be not back or like, Hey, I think this is the year Mitch will like actually make a step forward and then it all goes.

So I'm really when I, when I have my declarative sports ideas and it can be in game too. Like if a team comes out and scores two touchdowns right away, I'm like game over. And then of course they'll never score again. No, no, I'm kind of the same way. When you, just when you think you know something, that's when the universe pulls the rug out from under you. I'm really good at that. That's why I never trust anyone that has consistently strong opinions about everything.

Right. Cause I'm like, every time I have a strong opinion about something, it's very, very wrong. Yes. All right. So that's my four PFT year. Last one. My last one's just going to be balanced sports. I'm bad at balancing in general.

So I've always wanted to surf or skateboard. Can't do it. If I get on a skateboard, I guarantee you within probably less than a second, I will break my wrist. Very bad. I tried surfing one summer. I lived at the beach. I was like, I'm definitely going to learn how to surf this year was not able to stand up. There were little kids that were way better than me, just like dropping in on my waves.

Just very bad. I don't know if it's an equilibrium thing, but I just suck at balance. Yeah. That's a good one. What, what is the, I was going to learn how to surf before they closed the beaches down. That was the goal of mine this summer was to do the same thing PFT. What, what were the pitfalls? What other, what, do you think it's just your balance or is there anything like standing

up on the board with the beginners? For me, like honestly, the entire process was bad. The waking up early in the morning, that sucked too. But it's just, I think it's mostly just balance for me. Like it doesn't matter if I'm on a balance beam. If I'm actually, you know what? I'm really good at doing the walk on one foot or stand on one foot and touch your nose in a sobriety test.

So I can balance better when I'm drunk. So I'll amend that to saying sober balancing. I'm bad at. Yeah. Did you ever try surfing drunk? Maybe I was it the whole time. Yeah. I don't think I did.

I don't know. That's probably the key. Yeah. You gotta do that. Mark, your last one. My final one. Oh, I have a long list. I'm going to go with, all right, I have a very long list.

I'm going to go with this one. I'm bad at the, because we've been talking about communication a little bit. I'm bad at the post interview follow-up. So like this is kind of specific to people that host podcasts, which is, I guess, every American at this point. So maybe it's not as specific as I thought. I'm really good at the pre-interview thing where like the guy comes on and you haven't started recording that.

And you're like, hey, man, how you doing? How you been? Good. Hey, where are you at these days? Right. You're doing all that. But then when the interview ends, Dan, you're really good at this to your credit. I think we talked about this in the life episode.

I do do it. Yeah. Text or whatever. Yeah. You're really good at it. I am horrible at it. Like as soon as we hang up on the air, when people come on my show, as soon as we hang up, like the guy's dead to me, like, I don't ever,

and it doesn't go on like reach out. Like I really have to consciously, like, I don't know. I have to consciously remind myself like, shit, I should text them like, hey, thanks for doing that. Like that would be a nice thing to do. So I'm trying to get better at that. I'm really good at the pre-interview, but I'm really bad at the follow-up. Yeah, you are.

I just want to look at it. I don't think you've ever followed up with me once, but I definitely, because my whole thought is like, whenever someone does an interview, they always second-guess themselves right after they hang up. So like, they're like, wait, did I say that? Right. So I always try to send that text to basically intercept that thought and be like, great job, dude.

Awesome time. I'm 100% not getting a text after we get done with this, too. No, I am. I've already started it. Yeah, I've already written it. Yeah, I'd be like, dude, that was fucking hilarious. Awesome job. All right, Hank, your last one.

Just sitting still. Yeah, yeah, you are. You're a busy boy. I can't do it. What about on a plane? It's when I just take a bunch of edibles and fall asleep. So if I'm asleep, I can sit still. When I'm awake, I can't.

Yeah, that's a good one. What would any that anyone miss? I really suck at spelling the difference between breathe and breath. I fucked that up all the time. I mean, it drives me nuts. I can't spell weird or restaurant. Yeah. Restaurant sucks.

I have worse grammar than PFT does, ironically. I actually, I get tips from Hank. I observe him and then I incorporate some of his little sayings. I can't reach things on top shelves in grocery stores. I made the mistake of texting a bunch of my friends that I've known since I was in like second grade. What are some things that I'm bad at? And so they're still texting back right now.

They're just roasting me continuously. So I guess judgment. I just have bad judgment things. They told me to put dancing. I'm a bad dancer and clapper. Can't clap. Can't dance. I like your clap.

I think it's my clap is improved. It's cute. It's improved a little bit. It's so cute. They also said facial hair. Obviously everyone knows that. Oh, I have terrible handwriting. Do you guys have good handwriting?

I have decent handwriting. Yeah. No, I had that on my list. Bad handwriting. Strong hits. What do you have that you missed, Mark? I have ordering for the table. I got a trick for you if you all want it.

Yeah. Yeah, what is it? You just sit down right away and order pancakes for the table. I just made that up. Wait, do you mean like you go to brunch or something with a big group of people? Yeah. No. He fucking invented dinner.

Like sit away right away and just don't even give anyone a chance to order pancakes for the table. That's brilliant, Hank. Thank you. It's almost like nobody wants to order their own pancakes, but they want a bite, right? Yes, exactly. Exactly.

Wait, Titus. I thought that was Frinelli's. Are you saying like people say, hey, can you order for us? No, no, no. This is our guy Tommy Alters, the king of this. Yes. Everything I learned, every insecurity I have at dinners, at group dinners, comes from eating with Tommy. And this is one of them.

We're like, Tommy orders for the table and it feels so emasculated when he just like, when everyone starts talking and they're like, yeah, let's get the appetizers. Whatever. Let's get something to start, whatever. And then I'm kind of like making a mental note of what I would like. But then the waiter comes by and Tommy's like, we're going to do this. And he just starts ripping things off and then hands the menu and then they walk away and I don't get to say anything.

So I started getting in my brain where I was like, I want to do that. I want to be the guy that just orders for the table so then I get what I want. And then the few times I've tried it, it's basically just me. It's like, again, once again, it's kind of a theme with everything I'm saying. Everything is selfish. And like the things I ordered, no one else wants. And I'm just sitting there eating everything. So yeah, I don't know how to read the room, I guess, with like what people want to eat

and what is like a good group appetite. Yeah. Like what I want. And I just assume that other people are going to want it and they never do. I've got to just be assertive. Yeah, I think it's about how you say it, not so much what you say, because sometimes Tommy will order something and I'm like, I didn't want that necessarily. But I'm like, OK, I guess we're eating it because people want to be led, right?

Yes. So if you just, if you step up the assertiveness and you're like, hey, we're getting the escargot and you guys are going to fucking enjoy it. Then I was like, yeah, you're right. I love the ground bugs. Titus, are you a big like, I'll have what he's having, because that's a fucking pussy ass move. No, no, no.

OK, good. I don't do that. Yeah, I'll change my order at the last second. Good. Good. I hate copycat orders. They're the worst. I can't do that.

Yeah. I can't do that. Um, and then the only other thing I had was a knowing breathing cat. I don't know any. The only the only breathing cat I know is Siamese, and that's because they're connected to one another. Whoa, whoa. What about Tabby?

They're the ones from from that cartoon. Yeah. We are Siamese, if you please. We are Siamese. If you don't please. We are residents from Siam. There is no finer cat than I am. Yeah.

What is that? I think it might be the Ricky Tiki Tabby. No, it's the one where they come to come. Is it coming to America? That's not the one cat plays. Yeah. Every one of the barbershop. I don't know.

Uh, Tabby, you know Tabby. Yeah. There can be silver Tabby's or orange Tabby's. I didn't know that until right now. I was this days old when I found that out. What about Calico? No. What is a black cat?

What is that called? Black cat. Black cat. Black cat. Black jinx. Yeah. Yeah. You're in trouble.

Yeah. I don't, I don't know. I don't know anything about cats. And then I had carnival games. I suck at carnival games and it's really exciting because I'm white trash from the middle of nowhere. I've been to a billion carnivals in my life and I've played every game a billion times

and I suck at all of them. And it's very frustrating. Yeah. It's in your blood. You think I'd be good or like a one. Yeah. I mean they're rigged. But yeah, don't beat yourself up.

But yeah. It's like, it's like, dude, I can never fucking get the ping pong ball in the goldfish. It's like, dude, the holes don't fit. Like, what are you talking about? Suck at three card monsters. This fucking ring game, it's impossible. It's like, you're beating yourself up all your life.

Damn, dude. Well, all right. Titus and Tate. Everyone go vote on this draft. Fox Sports has their best fans. Bracket. I don't know. When we, we're going to release this on Friday.

We'll decide which team we're going to throw our weight behind. Yeah. Everyone go listen to Titus and Tate too. Where can they find you right now? You can find us. We're affiliated with what you've won. But just go to where our podcasts are. Google Titus and Tate.

We're doing a fantastic quarantine content. You know, we're, it's a great time to have a podcast. Great time to launch a college basketball show. Everything is, everything is coming up Titus and Tate. Could not be going any smoother. Check it out. All right, man. Thanks so much.

All right. Love you guys. Later. Love you Titus. That interview with Mark Titus was brought to you by our great friends at Express VPN. You're going to want to listen to this ad read it. I'll tell you why before I even get into it.

The title of this ad copy is called porn version two. So you're going to want to, you're going to want to stick around to figure out what that is. Because I know that none of you watch porn, but just in case you have any friends that do, you're going to want to pay attention to this. Given the current state of world affairs, governments around the world are employing

even stricter surveillance methods. They're using your digital devices to track your location, your movements. Who knows what else they're tracking. You don't want to be literally caught with your pants down. And one of the best ways to keep your browsing activity private is by using Express VPN. So when you use Express VPN, it's a secure encrypted tunnel

that gets built between your devices and the internet. So nobody can see what you're doing online. You're also rerouting your connection through an Express VPN server. This prevents websites from identifying who you are, where you're coming from. So you can surf the web anonymously, and you won't get weird ads for funko pops,

funko pops, funko pops. Now, most of you have probably heard that Pornhub is giving away free premium access to help people pass their time at home. So of course, I, I mean, my friend made sure to turn on Express VPN the whole time they were taking sweet advantage of this promotion. So for example, if Pornhub is giving away

premium membership in a different country, you can use Express VPN to maybe get that free license to peak and prevent people from peeking over your shoulder and seeing all the freaky shit that you're looking at. So protect your privacy today. You get three months of Express VPN for free. Visit expressvpn.com slash PMT. That's expressvpn.com slash PMT.

From my old, my old sales job. Let's see if I can remember the NATO alphabet. Echo, X-ray, Papa, Romeo. Echo, Sierra, Sierra. Office computer. I'm not, because I don't know what V is. I think it's Victor. Oh, that was convenient.

November. Convenience.com slash Papa Mike Tango. Expressvpn.com slash PMT. Get three months for free with a one-year package. Okay, let's get some segments. Then we've got a movie review. The first segment, I don't even know what we'll call it. And maybe it's just that is Stephen A. Smith back on the weed.

Because he, I don't know if you guys saw, but he was doing a question, a Q&A on Twitter. And on, I think it was Wednesday, someone said, stay off the weed, stay safe, Stephen A. Well, a little different than what we thought his response would be. He said, not something I'd say at this moment in time, bro. The way things are going, I can't blame anyone for anything legal they do right now. Stephen A. Smith just condoned legal marijuana. I think he actually now can win election as president of the United States.

Chief and A. Smith. Yeah, I think he can too. Who would vote against, I mean, no one is going to beat him in a debate unless he's going up against Skip Bayless. But like there's, I would vote for Stephen A. He also said, someone said, wow, think of the kids. Dope isn't safe. And Stephen said, don't be an idiot.

I'm not encouraging anyone to do weed or anything like that. I was saying right now is not the time to play around decrying weed smoking. There are bigger fish to fry and Stephen A. Smith is fried. He would know. Well, he's a bottom feeder. He's a catfish guy. He likes the booty. So booty and weed for Stephen A. right now.

I think it's good for him for evolving a little bit on this. I guess it's our country being locked inside their house with nothing else to do. So you might as well just like smoke what you have around. Also like Stephen A. Smith, he should be encouraging this from the get go because I want to say like 50% of first takes audience is just people who got high and forgot to go to class or forgot to turn off the TV more importantly. Yeah, yeah. They got high the night before got high again when they woke up and they're like,

oh fuck ESPN still on first takes one of those charmed on TNT or whatever. During March badness, you always like wake up in the morning or you go to the gym in the morning and that shows still on like above the treadmills. Yes. Yes. It's a big time. Oh, I forgot to turn my TV off. It's it's essentially the perfect I watched.

I watched the late night warriors versus Clippers game getting high and then woke up at like like 945 and was like, you know what? I'm just going to get high real quick and then oh shit. Now I'm trapped watching an entire episode of first day. Yeah. It's uh, yeah, I've woken up many a time to that like bass pro fishing shot like sign at the very start of it and it's Wale doing the intro or whatever it is. That's like an alarm clock for me.

All right. So our next segment is Bill Bryan Kingsday Kings. Bill Bryan is traded for Brandon cooks, which I don't know. I'm going to look this up right now. I'm pretty sure Brandon cooks is the has probably maybe outside of Sam Bradford received the most picks for like in compensation for his like trade value. How old do you think Brandon cooks is he's he's young seven. Yeah.

He's like 28 25. Oh my god. That's crazy. And he's been traded what five times he's no less than that four times. I think well he was traded. So let's go to the Patriots to the Rams and then from the Rams to the Texans. No, this will be his fourth team. Was he on the Saints for a little bit?

Yes. Saints Patriots Rams Texans. Okay. And also he's well on his way to breaking Sam Bradford's record. This is like when Tiger Woods got off to his hot start against Jack. He's got to he's got to show he can do it for an extended period of time. But I think that right now I wouldn't it would shock me if Brandon cooks played on 10 NFL teams.

Yeah. And he and then also you got to count the trade for Malcolm Butler that never happened. That's true. That that should count. That was a lot of smoke around that trade. That should absolutely count. So he was traded in 2017 for a first round pick.

The Patriots traded for him for a first round pick. And then one year later or no. Yeah. Sorry. One year later he was traded for a first round pick. So it was cooks and a fourth round or for a first round pick. And now he's been traded again for what was it a fourth round pick. Yeah.

So he's he's he his value is starting to go downhill. But he still has a nice resume that he's gotten traded for two firsts and a fourth at this point. And Bill O'Brien has you know finished off one of the more bizarre off seasons where he had I don't know top three wide receiver in the entire game and traded him away for nothing and then traded for Brandon cooks. And he's like yeah this is good. We'll be fine.

I would say it's almost even an upgrade because look at look at Brandon cooks. Four different teams have wanted him on their roster. Yeah. Deandre Hopkins only one team besides the Texans has wanted him. So I mean to me it seems like he's more in demand than Deandre Hopkins even is. But yeah good good for Brandon cooks. I have a theory about Bill O'Brien though. Going into this draft Bill O'Brien if you were to make a leaderboard of who I thought

was going to fuck up the technology the most using the remote drafting software. Bill O'Brien the head coach and Bill O'Brien the GM would be at the top of my list for that. I don't see that either one of them as being technology guys. And even if they were his butt chin would probably set off weird pornography filters and get him kicked off line a few times. I don't see him being good at that. I think he's trying to get rid of as many assets as he can. Knowing that that's just one less thing he's going to screw up on draft night.

Mike Zimmer definitely is going to be up there. But he got assets back in the Deandre Hopkins. So he's basically he's still net I think up picks. I think they have more picks than they started with because they trade away. So yeah so he so he's actually wants to wants to get Randy on this fucking draft. I just think Bill O'Brien honestly is simply saying nothing is going to stop me. So I'm just going to just do whatever is in like he probably I wouldn't be shocked if in like four or five years we have an E 60 maybe maybe Jeremy Schapp is interviewing him.

And he's like yeah I I just did whatever God told me to do. You know or like you know I had a higher calling and it was to trade all my good players for shitty players and see if that worked out. And then it just didn't. But something is up where he's not listening to any kind of common sense at this point. And it's almost getting I'll say this. I'm almost becoming a Bill O'Brien fan because there is that level where like stupidity becomes so stupid that it's absolutely hilarious and you root for it because now he's an underdog.

Well if a really really stupid guy is going up against a bunch of averagely smart guys like other NFL head coaches some of them some of them saying you got your you got your NFL. OK let's look in his division right now. OK you got Vrable genius Doug Marrone genius right. Whatever. We don't know. We don't come on the podcast.

Come on the podcast and we'll decide how smart you are. But if you're if you act really really dumb there'll be a lot of people that think that you must know something and so they don't fuck themselves. So maybe that's what Bill O'Brien is trying to do in this circumstance. But I think if you were to give me like make me predict who's going to fuck up this virtual draft. I would still have a Brian Zimmer is absolutely great choice. The Cowboys Jerry Jones fails son I think is going to be running the show down there. Well it was to be my big three Jerry Jones simply trying to like rip the iPad out of

Stephen Jones hands and having it fall and log out is definitely on the table here. Jerry Jones still opens up his his web browser. It's probably Netscape and it goes to Backpage.com and it's just a big this website has been seized by the FBI logo. So he hasn't been able to use the internet for years. No Jerry Jones like it will break in Arlington the internet will break and he'll be like we got to get our IT guy on it and he'll look over and it will be like his his one of his like fifth grandson who's like 19 who's the head of the entire IT department at Jerry world.

He'd be like sorry dad is like grandpa I'll get it done and just fiddling with all the fucking cords because all he does is hire his own fucking idiot family. Yeah his grandson who like does nothing but play Minecraft at the dinner table. Jerry's like you seem to know those computers pretty good. Yeah what does this talk. Yeah I got a job for you pays three million dollars a year. Oh oh what does that mean again Hank. Solo.

When you want to make a draft pick but you're shy shy shy when you want to make a draft pick but you're shy all right Jerry's trying to get you to take Johnny Manziel again. Last but not least oh no we have you had a board idea PFT the twitch channel what are you going to do. I had a board idea I notes at myself in the middle of the night last night you guys ever do that where you like you wake up and you have an idea and you just write something down your notes up and then you wake up in the morning you're like what was I thinking with this and so that's kind of what I did and this will show you just how bored I am. I made a note to buy myself a DVD player and then go live on twitch just on the screensaver

DVD screen where it bounces off all four sides until it hits the corner and then log how many times it's hit the wall before it hits the corner and how much time has passed before it hits the corner because people watch that type of stuff and I think I would actually watch it too there's this I remember reading about this thing a couple years ago there's a big ball of ink that would drop one drop of ink once every two years and there was a huge community of people that would just tune in and watch it live so this is kind of like similar I don't know how long it's going to take to hit the corner but I do know that I will watch that home screen until it does. Yes absolutely and then we have we have that twitch we're going to be here forever so might as

well watch we're gonna do it today oh on Friday yeah it's Friday I forgot to do this afternoon right what time it's friday pick a time uh when are you done with the act the cat uh two o'clock two thirty two thirty done done part of my take on twitch there we go um yeah so make sure you follow it pft you have an ad before we get to our movie review yeah before we start talking about the garbage pick and field goal kicker philadelphia phenomenon I want to talk to you guys about hydrants or good good friends over at hydrant uh if you're a top performer in business and sports you will attribute your success to their morning to your morning routine so whether it's waking up early setting goals for the day exercise meditation whatever it is not everyone has the time to do it

all with hydrant you can jump start your mornings I actually really enjoy hydrant I put it in my water I'd say like three or four days a week especially if if I'm in the office or if I know that there's going to be a workout that I have to get done uh 75 percent of us are walking around every day life chronically dehydrated tom brady said he drinks like 300 ounces of water a day not all this have the time to do that we're suffering needlessly from frequent headaches energy slumps and poor focus it doesn't have to be this way if you have hydrant if you want to kick that coffee habit but you're worried about losing your energy levels you can avoid that morning sluggishness and the midday slump by making sure that you're hydrated I actually do I think tom brady said the number one

problem facing america is that too many people are walking around dehydrated that's his words not mine he's won a bunch of superbowl rings and about to win another one in tampa bay hydrant creates flavored electrolyte packets that you mix directly into your water to make hydrating your body easy and delicious each rapid hydration mix has the four essential electrolytes that your body needs it's got sodium it's got potassium magnesium and zinc it helps you hydrate quickly and you stay hydrated all day their formulas develop by oxford scientists to formulate perfectly balanced efficient hydration no artificial sweeteners it's vegan you got three different flavors to choose from and it starts at just a buck a packet for a 30 day supply for 25 percent off your first order

go to drink hydrant.com inner promo code take at checkout that's drink hydrant.com inner promo code take for 25 percent off your first order okay let's wrap it up with by the way we have Brooks Kepka we're current guest on monday and then we're going to get into draft mode we're getting hard into the paint on draft mode we're going to have a lot of great draft content for everyone get ready for the draft so we did Tiger King we did King of Kong we took a little bit of a left turn here and did a Disney movie from 1998 called the garbage kicking field or garbage picking field goal kicking Philadelphia phenomenon starring Tony Danza it has a 5.1 in IMDB do we know what the Rotten Tomatoes is or is it even ranked I'll look it up right now that's that's surprisingly low

surprisingly high yeah it was I I truly enjoyed it it was I there were multiple times where I was like they they made this movie the entire movie and then more importantly the NFL let them use logos that was the crazy part also especially not only logos they use actual game footage yeah but like every I was like draft I remember draft day was a huge deal because it's like oh we have all the the logos like the NFL is bought in he's like what was before draft day oh Tony Danza in a low rent fucking movie slapstick slap dick movie about kicking field goals was it was Rotten Tomato I'm looking up the Rotten Tomatoes right now I don't I don't think that it is on there I think that I actually liked this movie for this simple fact I don't think

I've ever seen a movie that decided in the first five minutes they would basically like make you chug every plot point and foreshadowing mechanic like right as you got in there like right when we started it was bang bang bang bang you know he he Tony Danza is a garbage man his son's ashamed of him there's new owners in Philadelphia we don't know what to do with their team his dad just wants him to win a Super Bowl oh and also he has a bad relationship with his dad and like all these skipping over in the first like 30 seconds of the movie where it showed him loading up the garbage truck and he asked to kick the lever on the garbage to make it work and he's got a much stronger leg than his coworker and his friend said his coworker was like what do you keep this

truck for he's like loyalty oh okay well this will come back to play they basically just opened your mouth and shoved every single plot line into your face like no character development whatsoever that was just it like the first time that he saw his son his son was like he was like hey kid what do you want to what do you want to go throw the rock out there and he's like his son was like yeah i'm gonna go i'm gonna go play with my friend's dad is like oh here we go they don't like he like is this kid is ashamed of his dad and like the first time we see the grandfather the grandfather's like to Tony Danza you're a quitter you always have been like oh right off right off the bat the first thing that they had the uh the grandfather do was get really pissed off at the

Eagles for never winning a game and saying i'm gonna cut off the kicker's foot with my buck knife and so you can see exactly where everything was going they didn't really try to build anything up but listen i like they did they just did it very fast it was like a speed round i liked it for the simple fact that and you might not understand this maybe i'm like a little bit grittier of a person and you are but like a garbage man and a field goal kicker are two very similar occupations you don't get a lot of respect from people uh they don't look at you as i respect i respect garbage i'm saying garbage man no i'm saying just like i'm saying cross the board a lot of times no i respect garbage man a lot of times people talk trash about garbage men until you need one right

you talk trash about a good kicker until you need one the field goal kickers are essential services and people forget that until you need one still like i like the symmetry there on both sides uh i also thought that he was like an independent garbage man at the start of the movie i didn't realize that he worked for the city oh yeah it felt it felt like he was like bringing in his hall and then his boss was paying him like for the garbage that he brought in so i thought maybe he was like an independent cop but no he worked for the city of philadelphia there was a lot of pride there it was like a it's like a disney version of rocky except instead of having a really great story about a boxer it was tony danza that was like half-assed kicking field goals well tony

danza too um his field goal kicking the straightaway old school which is awesome the coach it didn't make sense that the the i don't know if you you noticed but the grandfather at the beginning was like just one time i want to see my eagles win the super bowl and then they're like yeah this coach has been here for 22 years what fucking coach is going to be there for 22 years without winning a super bowl i mean that's the eagles way you this was like in philadelphia it was interesting being transported back to what 1995 is that what it came out eight what 1998 yes by the way rotten tomato score 46% okay that's not bad that's not bad better than like every adam sandler movie ever made i i actually now now that i'm thinking about it i think that what they did

was they made this movie in 1998 but when they pitched it they're like hey tony and you know disney was like hey tony we got this movie script for you but we're only gonna use uh the equipment and resources that we had available to us in 1990 like we're gonna just use all the old stuff that we have on a yard sale on the back of a lot and that's how they made this movie because i was shocked too when it was like wait this was 1998 like wasn't 1998 the matrix yeah yeah this yeah the reason the reason the coach to get this came out like it's after Jurassic Park after the matrix after the new star wars movie i think it's crazy and these are the special effects that they use on this i think at one point it was just like they added a digital ball flying across the field that

was the big like special effects budget oh yeah when he when he missed the 75 yard field goal and led his family down yeah went right by and then in the last scene when i i hope there's no spoilers because everyone watched it i'm sure you did when he looked when he looked straight up to try to catch the ball and it's like for about three seconds they just went to CGI for no reason whatsoever yeah um i want to put one in the ear hole of the elementary school teacher in this movie so kind of hot by the way at the start of the movie one of the big talk devices yeah i'm not kidding you i had the thought i was like that's like the producer or director like this is like uh i'm gonna give you this role like yeah because i want to bang you that's kind of hot that's why i

said i would i want to put one in the ear hole of the teacher um who by the way at the very start of the movie they had career day which is a very good plot device to use to show that a son is ashamed of his father's profession is that he doesn't want to bring him in for career day and the teacher got really really horny because a pilot was talking to the class so like yes you're right this is 1998 but that's a mindset like falling in love with the pilot because he's talking about flying like that's big 1978 energy right there yes 20 years before and so what made this really lazy though is that was what they used to show the son being ashamed of his dad at the start and then at the end of the movie she had another career day where he was like i really want to

bring my dad in for this it's like who has two career days in the span of two months it's the world's laziest teacher that ran out of movies to play on that little cart that she wheels in when she's hung over yeah yeah i mean it was and tony danza pulling out the rat to think like i thought the kids were actually in the wrong there like if someone comes in for career day and pulls out an oversized rat out of a bag that's like oh fuck that's kind of cool thing yeah it was a stuffed rat too it was taxidermy yeah it smelled so um yeah the coach the reason the coach stuck around is because he was also the person that was doing like uh bed checks he was doing like weight physicals like that was no assistant coaches five hundred pounds he was just doing every

single part that guy's dead by the way our oh shit uh respects respects to that guy and my other other know was it was really insensitive about concussions yeah it was very they really made light of the fact that you know there's a lot of brain damage going on in the nfl it's a good point hank it's a good point this is this is 1998 this is before bob lee got his uh got his teeth in the nfl it was the whole thing was like i felt like they were the writers were like how many um like lame plot lines like tropes can we stuff into one 70 minute movie and they did it and then they did it and they fucking crushed it it also seems like the type of movie where they're like all right we're gonna get paid this much

money let's shoot and film it in as little possible time so we can make like as much money as possible like we're gonna film the whole thing in two days i i do want to say i think that the silver linings playbook stole a little from this like there was a little bit of that vibe yeah so this is not what invincible yeah and this might have been like uh what is the fucking name of the movie i keep getting it wrong the garbage kick the garbage kicking field goal kicking Philadelphia phenomenon phenomenon walked so that the silver linings playbook could run and win an oscar yeah uh the the color of the eagles jersey what is that green that it was in the mid 90s or the late 90s because it's not the good green yeah it makes it makes

you want to puke it just makes me want to miss yeah it makes me miss the uh the old school like 70s bright kelly green that the eagles used to wear but uh yeah it was i think it was before andy that was right before andy i think any read got hired in 99 i want to say yeah one of my favorite parts of the movie though was the uh the marketing vice president that worked very closely with the owner like the owner wanted to cut tony danza or keep him off the team but it was christmas eve and the marketing assistant was like you can't cut a player on christmas eve and the owner was like you're right i can't congrats you're back on the squad yeah it was like a big godfather i can't refuse a request on my daughter's wedding it's a wonderful life

yeah yeah it also uh my last point on it is that it was ahead of its time because when they did the uh let's chug as many plot lines as possible speed dating in the first five minutes i love the owner being like i'm an eagles fan my whole life i love this city and they're like so you're not gonna move he's like yeah he's like so you're gonna stay at the at this current stadium he's like whoa didn't say that we need a new stadium like hey look there's every problem that every ownership you know team has ever had for the for the next 25 years owners are going to be doing this stan cronkey probably watched this it was like oh this is how it's done that yeah that that's that like gave him the roadmap for the next 15 years of his career was that my my only

other note was that the uh the wife was a real pushover like i was i was really excited to hear i'm trying to explain that paparazzi picture and he never had to she just let him back in oh did he did he by the way in the paparazzi picture did he did he fall down because he was like oh my god i just cheated on my wife or oh my god this chick is so hot i don't know he cheated on his wife you don't remember the scene i must have fallen asleep during this part so his oh my god when i say when the booger psa actually this was amazing when they're like drinking doesn't solve problems yes but yeah yeah uh this was this was another plot line that they threw in there like i'm not kidding they they literally just i we could list all of like the tropes that they did in this

movie he so it wasn't that he cheated on his wife some woman came up to him and goes hey are you the are you the garbage picking field ball kicking guy and he's like yeah he's like can i get a pick and they take a picture and just as they're about to take a picture she starts kissing him on the lips and then walks off and so then that picture got sold to the very noted paparazzi in philadelphia in 1998 yeah everywhere and and that ended up the wife was like oh my god he cheated on me even though like again we didn't have enough time to do a full affair so that's how they kind of stuff that one in i got you yeah the paparazzi in philadelphia the guys that print out they just print out pictures on newsreel and then they put it like underneath your cheese steak when they serve

it to you i think that house you got kicked out of the house okay i thought admittedly besides the part i fell asleep for it was a great movie um i thought that actually him and bubble might have been fucking that's my fan theory i think that his roommate uh who is the 360 pound left tackle i think that they were fucking coach busted on them a few times when they were both sweaty out of breath in the room they had to like cover themselves up with the covers i think there was something going on there behind the scenes okay the other the other my other note was like what an absolute fraud to get cut from the team and then be like i'm retiring honey i just want to be with my family like you got cut yeah yeah about yeah i decided to walk away

this is my last game like you had to beg to even get a last game oh one other thing i'd never realized this before but tony danza brought it up when he was talking to bubba about how he always sleeps closest to the door out of instinct to protect the person that he's sharing a room with yes i've always done that too every single time i've shared a bed with some every single time i had not thought about until just now in like probably seven or eight different houses or apartments or whatever i'm always closest to the door that's my i don't know why i never really sat down and thought about it but tony danza is fucking right the guy sleeps closest to the door yeah yeah absolutely always thanks got this cheapest cheapest look on his face like i don't

it's like i'm never even that's just something i've never even thought about i guess it's like walking closest to on the on the side of traffic yep sometimes you gotta do it that's yeah that's somebody's daughter um all right that is our show uh if you have a movie you want us to watch if you have a documentary you want us to watch we're gonna have one for next friday have the one for next week we have one for next week and then we also have billy coming up on monday hanks gonna try to rein him in but i love untapped billy i think it's it's the best because he just goes and you don't know where you're gonna end up he's basically the josh mccount masturbation ps a like you don't know where you're gonna end up in detroit or omaha but we have billy we have

brooks kepka and we will see everyone on monday real quick i uh yeah you're right picket it's like a like a jazz solo when billy gets going just free form shit so let let him cook hank um next friday is the scheme right yes the scheme on hbo so i think it's out it's on demand you can watch it right now or if you have any other suggestions send them in to us shout out to cast this is actually cast me from the dallas renegades of the xfl who sent this in for us to watch so shout out to her if you have anything else to send in let us know all right we'll see everyone monday love you guys so I'll be gone

But I'm too hot too Needless to say I want to say it But I'll be stolen away Stolen in the light of your game Say it to me It's no better to be safe than sorry Say it to me

It's no better to be safe than sorry Take on me Take me on I'll be gone But I'm too hot too I want to say it But I'll be stolen away You're all the things I've got to remember

You shine away I'll be coming for you anyway Take on me Take me on I'll be gone But I'm too hot too I'll be gone But I'm too hot too

You're all the things I've got to remember