Pardon My Take - Mark Wahlberg

Episode Date: October 31, 2018

We officially feel bad for Jason Witten. (3:14 - 7:12) NFL Trade deadline and a bunch of people make some Ha-Ha Clinton Dix jokes. (7:13-19:13) Hot Seat/Cool Throne including Big Cat goes to Jury Duty. (19:14-34:40) Mark Wahlberg joins the show to talk about his new movie, his sports fandom, leaving the Super Bowl early, Entourage and new Entourages we can pitch him + whether or not he used a stunt cock in Boogie Nights. (36:48-1:03:51) Segments include Lebron Blames, (1:08:01-1:11:29) Kings stay Kings for Skip Bayless,(1:11:29-1:13:42) Hurt or Injured Big Ben, (1:13:43-1:15:15) Hot in the streets Cardi B vs Nikki Minaj, (1:15:16-1:19:12) and Guys on Chicks (1:19:13-1:26:05) You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, add free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have a very big interview. Marky Mark, Mark Wahlberg, talking about his new movie, talking about his sports fandom, talking about entourage, talking about him not thinking we were actually real

because he's been doing press for his new movie and he saw the two of us and was like, these guys can't be fucking serious, but I think we're best friends with him now. He won't remember us, but we are best friends. We also have NFL trade deadline, hot seat, cool throne, LeBron Blames, and guys on checks before we get to all of that, Bud Light,

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No place to hang alone washing, and then I can't live all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna run down to electric avenue, and then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're gonna run down to electric avenue, and then we'll take it higher. School spurs. Welcome to part of my take presented by Ckeek.

Today is Wednesday, October 31st, Halloween. Spooky show. PFT, I have something I have to get off my chest. What, all the jizz I shot on it earlier? Okay, I'm already lying, shout out. That was way too aggressive to start the show. PFT also said, we're gonna be nice to each other this week, and he's been mean to me.

No, no, the show's called Pardon My Take, Not Fuck You, Here's My Take, so we're gonna be nice to each other. But except for you. Okay, so my take is I officially, officially feel bad for Jason Witton. Wow, that's a great take. I officially feel bad for Jason Witton.

He is so clearly over his head, and we have the pendulum swings. We see this all the time with sports, where you go from like, this guy sucks, to this guy really sucks, to oh my god, I want this guy off my TV, to shit. Everyone agrees, and now I just feel bad, because it feels like he's not gonna have a job

at the end of the year, and this is painful. Yeah, there has been some piling on, of Jason Witton, of which we have been a small part of. Yes. In a small instigator. So I'm saying we gotta stop. But, it's so fun to do. Yeah, I know, but here's why I don't.

He's not ready to cope with this kind of, like, he's just not good, and he's just not getting better, and it's one of those things where at some point, you just can't pile on a guy like that anymore. So I'm done. I think you have to have a spleen to be a good announcer. I think that's what this has taught us.

It sucks. So he's got the, there's a missing ingredient there. I think it's also like a contrast with Booger, because I think Booger's gotten better. Yeah. As the year's gone by. He had that one line, the biscuit, the one biscuit away from the tight end.

They fixed the shot rocket, they took off the TV on the back, they put in the sneeze guard for the Booger Mobile, they hurt our complaints. I'm one biscuit away from a, actually no, I'm probably one biscuit away from being out of the league. Yeah, I'm one biscuit away from having to go use the bathroom.

That's what I am at all times. But yeah, listen, Jason Wynn, he's not great, but we have a duty as media watch dogs to call it out when we see it. No, I'm done. It's, you're picking on a guy now, because he's not, he doesn't have the requisite skills to make it.

Well, it's not, I don't think it's totally his fault. No. The whole thing is awkward. What they should have done, like Jason Wynn in an ideal world would have retired from the league and then joined one of the like C or B teams. Yes.

For like Fox or Spursy. Like, do the 415 Cardinals Niners game every week. Nobody's watching except when they cut in on the red zone to show like a 10 yard completion. And then have Jason Wynn just be like, oh, he ran a little flat route. You gotta get to the sticks on third down. Like warm up with the easy stuff like that,

instead of doing it on prime time for everybody to see you fail. But I'm done. I'm done. You're done making fun of Jason Wynn. I'm done. I'm leaving Malone. I'm doing the be nice to you,

be nice to Jason Wynn. It's just time. We have to, we have to, he's not gonna be around for much longer. Like there's, do we really need to savor the time left we have for Jason Wynn? No, I'm not saying savor.

I'm just saying don't pile on. Like you don't want a guy to lose his job. We'll tell you what. I got a job to do. He's got a job to do. I, you know what? You've talked me into it a little bit. I have had an idea

that I've been too lazy to put into action, but now I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna build a Jason Wynn robot out of cardboard boxes. We can bring him into the studio and we can interview him and make him likable. And we'll work with Jason a little bit on this, but I'm still gonna make fun of him

when him and Booger butt heads. It's just like you see it on Twitter during a game where everyone just taking shots at him and at some point it's like we gotta stop. We guys, let's focus that energy on bringing Joe Buck back down. I like how Jason Wynn has gone from being like such an easy target

to a sympathetic figure just because he's bad at his job. Oh, yes. That absolutely, I am a big time like bleeding heart. Like when someone's really bad at their job and they're on a national stage, I feel bad for you. Well, you're still mean to me. Well, because you're mean to me and Hank constantly.

All right. You constantly take shots. Okay, so let's talk NFL trade deadline. Huge trade deadline. Let's go. The craziest trade deadline you've ever seen. It was wild stuff. It was wild stuff out there.

I saw some people starting to use NBA language like Max Deal. That's what I love. Like there's no such thing as a Max Deal in football. They call it a Max Deal in basketball for a reason, but sometimes you gotta adapt what works for other leagues. And so yeah, I saw the term Max Deal being thrown around a lot, saw a lot of blockbuster trades.

Yeah, so let's fire through them. Okay, yeah, they need to get a trade simulator, a trade machine on ESPN. I agree, I agree. That's a big miss on their part. Okay, so we'll go reverse order here and when they happened. The Texans traded for Demarius Thomas.

Bad news for my pinky. Very bad news for your pinky. Bad news for my pinky. I had you on my hot seat, but we can just talk about it right now. So Fuller, I guess, is out. Is he out for the year officially? Yes, he is out for the year.

But they got Demarius Thomas, people forget. He beat the Steelers in the playoffs. Yeah, with Tim Tebow. With Tim Tebow. So now he's got... Slant hurt around the world. Yeah, it was a dig, wasn't it? Yeah, I can't remember exactly.

Embrace debate. But yeah, I think this actually makes the Texans a viable playoff contender. Well, okay. So... Three years ago. I want to caveat it by saying everything that I know about Demarius Thomas

kind of, I stopped learning new things about him after the Super Bowl. When they won. So here, so the Texans, they're gonna be good. They are good. They've won a bunch in a row. We gotta, first of all, we gotta throw like a playoff party for them, a pinky party.

For whenever they're in the playoffs, and just be like, hey, this could be the last you see of my pinky. Yeah, we'll get Letterman jackets. Yeah, second, I don't... Can a doctor just amputate my pinky? No. Can you walk into a doctor's office

and be like, take my pinky off? If you have a signed note from another doctor saying that you have gangrene in it. Okay. So that's what I could do. I gotta poke a hole in my pinky and then maybe rub it on the bottom of a New York subway train.

Yeah, well, here's the thing. So there's the Hippocratic Oath that doctors take, which is first, do no harm. So I don't think that a doctor can like, actually harm you without a reason. He has to think that he's saving you from... If you make the case to the doctor that your pinky has gotten you into a lot of trouble.

Or like... Or it's just like, just say that you have excruciating pain in the tip of it. Doctor, listen, I'm a generic gambler. I've been talking about losing a pinky for a very long time now. If I have this pinky, I will keep getting into bets that I cannot handle.

Yeah, tell him. Take it off. Tell him that if you don't cut the tip of my pinky off, next year you're gonna bet the whole thing. Yeah, next year it'll be my dick. Yeah, so you gotta take care, you gotta nip this in the bud. So that was Damarius Thomas.

I am officially not nervous. You see like that? I just gave you a little hezzy there. People would keep tweeting me like, come on, bro, it's still Bill O'Brien. It's still Bill O'Brien in a big time spot. I'm not worried. You know what they could do?

They could send the tip of your pinky to Bill O'Brien and use it to fill in that hole on his chin. There you go, yeah, it's just a little putty for his chin. We have the Eagles trade for Golden Tate. That's actually a big trade. Both the Lions kind of giving up, like, yeah. Golden Tate is one of those guys that he's never been,

you never like Golden Tate, top five wide receiver, but he is Mr. Dependable. You know what, Mr. I'll make a big play at a huge time and like kill your team. You know what I like about him? He's got a little Julian Edelman in him. Yeah, he got the wiggle. He plays, well, it's not just that.

He plays angry all the time. When he catches the ball, he's pissed off. Yes, absolutely. So that's a big trade. It is a big trade, but the Eagles, I think, I don't know. I don't see it, Super Bowl hangover. I think the Eagles are still very dangerous out and the Lions, I'm happy because it seems like the Lions,

like, Golden Tate, going up against Golden Tate, the Bears going up against Golden Tate year and year out, he always scared me because he was always that guy who, uh-oh, he's gonna catch, you know, a little out, a five yard out and take it 80 yards by just by dancing around everyone. Now, what was the story? Was he involved in the,

he was a bad teammate in Seattle, right? He had that reputation. He might have. There was my issue with him and Percy Harvon. Sacks, allegedly, something. Well, we all know. Well, no, Percy Harvon was a bad teammate to everyone. Well, that's also true.

He had the migrants. So I actually probably would take. Well, he had medical reasons. Yeah, I take Golden Tate on that. Okay, so next up, we have Aaron Rodgers trading Thai Montgomery to the Ravens. So Aaron Rodgers doing what he does with family members he doesn't like,

just sending them off. Just sending them across the country. Yeah, I mean, he fit, Thai Montgomery is, we don't know if he's gonna play running back or receiver, but he does fit into that Ravens, like traditional receiver mold of having pass catchers who aren't very good at playing wide receiver.

Maybe what they are gonna do with Thai Montgomery is run Wildcat and everyone thinks that it's Joe Flacco back there running it. Or the, yeah, what they'll do is they'll just split Flacco and Lamar Jax at the same time out at wide receiver. Thai Montgomery. Direct snap to Thai Montgomery. Don't hate it.

Problem solved. Don't hate it. Next up, we had Ram Strayed for Jaguar's defense alignment, Dante Fowler Jr. Now, I don't know if you do this. I do this with all sports. It's why I love Kevin White. If you trade a guy who was a first round pick

within the last five years, I just assume he's still an unbelievable player. Even though he has not been an unbelievable player. And I also do the thing where I do the math in my head and I say, okay, Sue was I think the third pick or second pick. Fowler was the third pick. Aron Donald was the 13th pick.

That's three first rounders on the defensive line. Yeah, they're almost as good as Clemson's defensive line right now. Holy shit. Yeah, and they've got, I guess, what three or four players that have like big personalities, guys that have gotten a little bit in trouble. I think Dante Fowler, like, didn't he wreck his car?

Something. Or like drive his car into a lake? There are no lakes in LA, so that's good. There's a drought out there. Yes. So that's good for them. But Fowler is the kind of guy that when I see his name, I'm like, he's just crazy enough

to be a good defensive lineman. Yes. And so is Endowment and Sue. Yes. And so is Aron Donald. Yes. He trains with knives. Yes.

So, I don't know, I think the Rams just got better. Yeah, they did. I mean, anyone could play edge rusher for them. And so, like I said, to the first round pick thing, that's a, he's a superstar in my mind. I trust where the picks were made. Like Corey Coleman, who got cut by the Browns and then who isn't even in the league anymore.

I mean, he was the first round pick. How is he not still good? Yeah, I don't know. It makes no sense. It doesn't at all. It makes no sense. So when guys like that go out to LA, I think, so when Wade Phillips took the job out there,

I was like, how is he gonna manage Marcus Peters? Or when they got all these guys, I was like, how are they gonna manage Marcus Peters and all these guys that have these reputations on that defense? But I think with him, I've kind of figured it out. It's like the cool substitute teacher that was just like so relaxed and cool

that like even the troublemakers didn't want to take advantage of them because they would feel bad if they took advantage. And that's kind of the role that he is out there. With the Bitmojis and everything. Yeah, exactly. Twitter game. Especially, yeah.

So when you get guys like that out there that normally might cause a stink in other locker rooms, they're like, hey man, just be cool. Like, come on, just chill out. Yeah, let's not disappoint Wade. Right, he's a funny guy. He's son of a bum. Yeah, he's like Winnie the Pooh.

Yeah, don't do that to him. Oh, father. We have the last one, the Redskins trade for Ha Ha Clinton Dicks from the Packers. Now this was clearly a Ha Ha Clinton Dicks is gonna get paid next year and the Packers aren't gonna pay him. So get anything for him.

And they actually have a decent secondary this year. His expiring contract. Yeah, but this also means everyone gets to make a ton of Ha Ha Clinton Dicks jokes. That's what I'm very excited about. Yeah. So you wanna, we wanna rattle off a couple of words. Let's just shoot out all over Clinton Dicks.

So we have the classic. Just whip him out. You wanna whip out a Clinton Dicks? Clinton Dicks is back in Washington. That's a good one. I actually do think that there were a ton of customized jerseys that had already existed in D.C. that say Clinton Dicks on the back of them.

Correct, correct. With a stain on them on the front. Yeah, yeah, little whites. They never wash those. Here's one. Clinton Dicks loves playing in the box. Oh, I like that one. In D.C.

All right. I got one. I haven't laughed this hard at a Packers dick since Brett Favre texted Jen Sturger. That's pretty good. On the way out, cause he's not on the Packers anymore. So you gotta get the shot on the way out.

Okay, I like that. Yeah, get him in while you can. Clinton Dicks never wraps up. Oh, nice. He likes to fly in with his shoulder. Nice, nice. Hey, Clinton Dicks, what is that, the type of cigar

that Dan Snyder lights up with a $100 bill? Ooh, and then puts in a vagina? Yeah, well, that's what I was saying. Like Clinton Dicks would be a great name for a cigar. Yeah, I think we've talked about this before, but have we? Hank doesn't know what the Ken Starr report. Yeah.

It was hot. I actually watched the, there's a 90s Netflix documentary that I watched recently. You did? So you just relived our youth? Yeah, crazy stuff. What was it like? What was the coolest part of the 90s?

Did you spoiler Kurt Cobain died? Did you get into Scott Music for 15 seconds? No, I just like that. What was your biggest takeaway? Frosted tips were a wild time. My biggest takeaway was that if this happened in today's day and age, no one would even care.

About Clinton? Yeah, really? I mean, I think people would probably care a little bit. I don't know, we've gotten to a point where it's the surreal life, another 90s throwback. I mean, if you're getting blowjobs while you're on the phone with a senator,

I think that's at least worth six hours in the new cycle today. Yeah, but that's just called doing good work. Hank, did they have anything in the documentary about wearing pukashell necklaces? No. What else are other takeaways? I'm happy you watch this.

From the 90s? Yeah. Anything else you were like, holy shit. The LA riots looked kinda crazy. Yeah, those were. CDs, any CDs? The music industry's fucked. Yeah, yeah.

Many discs were, that was the big, that was gonna change the world. That, and you remember laser discs? Yeah. So Hank, you're probably- The internet ruined music. Yeah, Napster. Yeah.

Napster and Limewire was some serious shit back in the day. Hank, when you were in elementary school, they didn't have any laser discs, right? I kinda wanna explain this to you. So for a long time, VHS tapes had a good run, real solid run for like 25 years, and then everyone's like,

what's gonna take those out and move us into digital? Well, there was a step in between VHS and DVD, and that step was a laser disc, and it was a DVD that was bigger than a record. Giant. It was like 22, like 22 inches. You could've put those on the side of a bin, rolled down the street and looked fly as hell.

Yeah. They were 22 inches, and you had exactly one movie on it. Yeah, and then they made it the opposite way with the mini discs, which was just a different way to listen to music that didn't really work. The problem with that was everybody lost mini discs. Yes, yeah.

They sucked. Yeah, they were off. They really sucked. So that's the trade deadline, recap. The biggest news is what didn't happen. Yeah. Like jazz music with the notes that they didn't play. And that was, Levion Bell did not sign his Tinder,

didn't show up, so he couldn't be traded. So he's a stealer for at least the rest of the year. He's a stealer. Stealer, here we go. He's a stealer. He's a super bowl. Anything else big that didn't happen? I mean, I don't know, Eli Manning.

Well, Eli Manning framed. Papers were rumored to do something big. They didn't do anything. Yeah. By the way, stay woke on this. I don't know who tweeted that. I saw, if I follow you on Twitter and I'm not giving credit, I apologize

because I don't know who it was. Oh, so this is just you doing the who did this fam? Who did this fam? Skull emoji. Last night, the Patriots said, or there was a report out that the Patriots were gonna suspend Josh Gordon for one quarter against the Bills,

the old Johnny Manziel suspension. Bobby Bowden suspension is what we call it. Yeah, yeah. Either way, you wanna look at it. And then he ended up playing the first snap of the game. Somebody was saying that Bill Belichick smells a rat inside his own nest. And he leaked that information to one person.

And he was like, if this makes its way to Ian Rappapour's Twitter account, then I know that it's you and it breaks my heart. But I know it was you. Yes. Kiss and death. See, it's the scene from Departed when he's just drawing the rats.

So stay woke on that. Yeah, I like that. I like that. There you go. You're a fucking rat, whoever you are. Okay, let's do... High T Cool's run. Great movie.

Departed. Love the Todd Wiki. Love, talk to someone about it. Coming up. Okay, so Hot Seat Cool's run, Hank, get us going. My hot seat is Urban Meyer. Oh, are you buying my theory? Why?

The tip that I got that I think I said it last week that Urban, the dominoes have started to fall. Hugh Jackson gets fired. Yes. Urban Meyer goes to coach the Browns. Or no, sorry, Urban Meyer goes to coach the Packers. Mike McCarthy gets fired, coaches the Browns because of the John Dorsey.

And then Bob Stoops comes and coaches Ohio State. I'm just more of the theory that just things come in threes. Ty Loo, Hugh Jackson, Urban Meyer, Nebraska, and Nebraska been really bad this week there. They're fixing for a big upset. And if Urban Meyer, if they lost this game, Urban Meyer's out.

I think Ohio State's wearing like LeBron black jerseys. Even, that's even worse of an only. His alma mater. Yeah. LeBron, like, dude, we know you would have gone to Duke or fucking Kentucky or somewhere that would have paid you. Like, get out of here with this Ohio State shit. I like it.

It's bullshit. I think they're going to lose and I think he's out. Hank, I'm right. No, I'm with you. You want to bet your other pinky? This is Scott Frost's season. No, I'm not betting another pinky. Let's see how this Texans bet goes.

And then I will bet my other pinky. You're afraid Frost is going to take your pinky. Yeah. And then my cool throne is. It's a bad trend to start. Frostbite. Every time I say something should play. I'm pretty sure you started, like, the first episode

of Permanente being like, I love pinky bets. Yeah, no, I do. And now you're scared. No, I'm in one. I can't be in two at the same time. Let me have one lap. Listen. And then you can come back with another pinky bet.

The good Lord gave you two hands for a reason to bet. But that's, but I've, it also, you guys understand that my pinky, it's like human capital. So if I lose both, then what am I going to bet? Yeah, you're broke. Then I'm broke. Yeah. OK.

Cool throne. There's a margin call on you. The cool throne is Fergie. OK, good. All right. Josh Duhamel's ex-wife. Yeah, I know who she is. Yeah, we know.

Come on. Oh, just, there's a call back to last show. She came out on Instagram. She made light of the situation instead of like being down in the dumps for getting made fun of again. She made light of it, seemed cool. And the black eyed peas, who apparently are still around, just dropped a new album.

OK, they did. Is it good? I haven't listened to it. I don't know if I will. OK. But she's back. I mean, she's on the cool throne. She's back in the news cycle.

They released an album in like 2003 that was strictly released just so it could be the soundtrack to NBA games on TNT. Yeah. It was like every single song was just a commercial song. Yes. Do you imagine Dragon's? Do you imagine Dragon's the NBA?

Yeah. Oh, also credit to us for bringing back Bush. Yeah. Because we know that ESPN did that after we talked about Bush on Monday. That halftime show should have been so weird. Oh, my god. I don't want to come back down from this crowd.

It's so painful. Oh, this, oh, this time. The one on Monday, they were like 15 middle-aged people dancing at the Niagara Falls. And it was uncomfortable to watch. It looked like Jim and Pam's wedding. It was, yeah. So they've had Bush.

They've had Garbage, which is just any time you say now, ladies and gentlemen, Garbage. Maybe they're going to get whole back. Oh, I thought you were talking about Lil Yachty. No, yeah. Oh, that's good. Hanks on the board. Damn, son.

They had Good Charlotte playing a new song. They played the hits. Yeah. P.F.D., you go. Oh, I had another cool thing. Oh, please go. Let's let Hank finish. It's polite week.

Tiger and Phil. They're coming out with the HBO 24-7 before they match. Hell, yes. I always love those. Hell, yes. And the fact that everyone that's talking shit about the price and stuff, it's on the things. Putting it out the Friday after Thanksgiving

is the perfect day for it. That's when Tiger got arrested, isn't it? Stay woke, by the way. If you are a hacker on the internet, the Tiger and Phil pay-per-view, illegal streams, will be a field day. Because I would imagine a lot of 50-year-old white dudes trying to find a Twitch stream will end up

with a lot of hacking. Yes. There's going to be a lot of compromise. There's people that don't know. I'm just going to type in every combination of email address at aol.com, send it out, and it'll just be a link to my PayPal. It's going to be a bloodbath on the internet. It's going to be pretty bad.

I'm really looking forward to that, too, because Phil Mickelson, you can show his nipples on HBO. You'd have to blur those out on other networks. True. Real sex. Bring back real sex. OK, PFT, you go. OK, my hot seat.

Well, Big Cat is on the hot seat, not only for the Texans and your pinky, but also because your Chicago Bears have to play against Nathan Peterman on Sunday. And. Peterman's back. That's totally a game that we're going to lose. Yeah, Peterman is back. Just.

Like, I would have. Derek Anderson, I would have felt comfortable. Like, did you know that he played golf this off season? Yeah, I saw that. It would just be so perfect for the Bears to somehow finish 9-7, like beat the Rams, and finish 9-7, finish out of the playoffs, be like, well, you lost to Nathan Peterman and Brock Oswiler.

Nathan Peterman hasn't played his best game yet. And I know that because he wouldn't still be on the roster if he was that bad. Maybe you see Nathan Peterman exactly with the Bill's coaching staff season. It's like, he's got it in there somewhere. He's scary. He's scary.

He's not afraid. No. That's for sure. He'll throw it. He's going to wing it out there. So look out for that. Our good friend, my internet dad, Mike Florio, said that starting Nathan Peterman is like letting

your dog drive a car, no matter how badly he wants to do it. You can't just let him. Mike, yes, if your dog wants to drive a car, yeah, you've got to roll the dice on that. And also, Mike, if your dog is asking you to drive the car, maybe put down the acid for a second. Maybe it's just your son. Yeah, the peyote you're smoking is laced with something.

By the way, dog driving, I looked it up. I actually looked up if dogs can drive cars. Yeah, they can. So Florio, well, why don't you fact check before you tweet this ignorant shit out about dogs not being able to drive cars. My cool throne is murder. Nice.

Because Whitey Bulger, actually wasn't he one of the characters in the department? I think it was loosely based on him. It was loosely based on him. He was murdered in prison in West Virginia today, and everybody was acting happy about it. Yeah. Somebody lost a life, OK?

Let's show some respect. He was like 89 years old. Getting murdered at 89. Listen, if you die of murder or of a drug overdose at the age of 89, that's actually pretty cool. That adds to your obituary. Yeah, your street cred. Although the obituary probably will mention all the murders

he committed first. Allegedly, yeah, alleged murders. No, I'm pretty sure that the reason why he was in prison was because of murder, guys. Well, listen, allegedly. I'm not taking any chances. That would be convicted murderer, Whitey Bulger. Listen, I've seen the Americans before, OK?

Sometimes people go to prison in West Virginia, and their death is completely staged. He might still be alive. We're so fucking scared of slander and libel that we're saying allegedly in front of a guy who has been convicted of murder. Yeah. I think it was just like money laundering.

No, I'm pretty sure it was like 10 or 11 murders, and he probably committed about 100. No, man, slaughter. OK, is that it? No, it's not it. Well, also murder because DJ Durkin got to keep his job in Maryland. They just announced that.

My other cool throne is the state of Oklahoma. OK. Because Barry Switzer counseled Lincoln Riley on Twitter today. He said that the job that you would leave would be more attractive than the one that you would get at the Browns. So don't do it.

So don't do it. So it looks like Lincoln Riley is. According to Barry Switzer, if Barry Switzer gets his way, Lincoln's going to be head coach for life. The Browns hiring a college coach would be just so classic Browns. Yeah. When is a college, college coach don't work in the NFL?

They would just be doing it to make Baker May feel happy. Yeah. These two worked together earlier. Right. Oh, man, it would be so, so brown. It's like doing Anchorman 3. Yeah. And they're actually.

It's like, hey, they were, remember, they were funny. Florio also, I think, said that Matt Campbell, Iowa State, like the rumors around him going to the Cleveland Browns is real, too. Yeah. And there's a huge rumor out there about Sean McVeigh getting traded to the Browns. Which isn't at all, yeah.

How many first round picks would you take if you were the Rams to send Sean McVeigh? There's not an number. Yeah. You couldn't say like seven, eight? No. Because then? No.

Well, they bring back Fisher. No. Oh, yeah. Yes. Yes, you caught me there. Yeah, would you send Sean McVeigh to Montana to go live in Jeff Fisher's house in exchange for Jeff Fisher? Yeah, it would be awesome to watch Jeff Fisher go back

to the Rams and Todd Gurley go back to getting 30 yards rushing every game. Well, it would serve him right. Yeah. Oh, Todd, you don't like rushing for yards anymore? Oh. Guess what? I've got the perfect coach for your system.

Good segue, PFT, because my hot seat is your boy, Mike Greenberg, with the fucking lamest take of all time. No. Yeah, it was. Come on. He's probably doing satire. He tweeted, if you criticize Todd Gurley

for what he did at the end of the Rams Packers game, you should never be allowed to comment on sports ever again. Get the fuck out of here, Greeny. I'm going to comment on betting, because guess what? Gambling, people gambling on the NFL has paid for a shitload of your salary, Greeny. We pay Greeny's salary? Yes, we pay Greeny's salary.

People watch because they have an investment in fantasy or gambling, and they can bitch about it because that's what we do as sports fans. Listen, what happened was Mike Greenberg's a Jets fan, and he is so unaccustomed to watching his players do smart things at the end of games to secure wins that he instantly fell in love with Todd Gurley. He'd never seen anything like that before.

Yeah, a guy is meant to win. A guy, he gave up his personal stats to win a game. Holy shit, that's amazing. That's true. You'll have to forgive Greeny because he's not used to this type of thing. That's such a lame takeoff. Jesus Christ, Greeny, come on.

All right, my other hot seat is Future Me. So I went to Jerry Duty today. And first of all, I met a very nice man who I helped. He couldn't speak English, and I filled out all his forms for him. And then they were like, anyone who doesn't speak English, go to that room. And we had a goodbye, like a Rose Jack Titanic situation

where he's like, are we leaving? He's a goodbye friend. I was like, I speak English. You don't, so you stay to go. You stay on the door, and you let him drown in the Atlantic Ocean. He just pushed at me, and he was like, oh my god. But I went to Jerry Duty, and they said, if anyone's traveling in the next week,

you can go to this room. So I went to that room, and I was going to say, that's all the cool people in that room. I was like, I'm going to LSU this weekend. Everybody in that room has a little plain emoji in the Twitter bio. Yeah, but I kind of froze on when he asked me. He's like, because he's like, I need your itinerary.

I couldn't find it. So he asked me, he's like, what's your excuse? I was like, well, it's football season, and I got a lot of travel and football season. And he's like, OK. He's like, so when can you come back? I was like, maybe January? And he's like, isn't that the playoffs?

I was like, yeah, you're right. He's like, OK, so come back after the Super Bowl. So I now have Jerry Duty after the Super Bowl, which is the worst time of the year. And I think my plan now is every time I go in for Jerry Duty, just try to keep saying, well, March Madness is coming up. Well, the NBA playoffs, the Kentucky Derby is going to be here.

And just see how long I can push it till we get to that Wednesday after the All-Star game. I like that the Women's World Cup next summer. Yeah, it's like, man, my schedule is all booked up. But shout out to that guy for taking its football season as a legitimate excuse for not wanting to be on jury. Well, that's what they did with Pac-Man Jones with his trial and his sentencing.

They were like, OK, you got a job to do on Sunday. OK, well, actually, yes, you can come in in January because it's the playoffs season and the Bengals won't be in there. It's miserable, by the way. Have you been to Jerry Duty? I have avoided Jerry Duty. I did too for a very long time, both willfully and unwillfully. I forgot about Jerry Duty when I was called in Chicago

and just skipped it. And then this time. Against your will? No, I willfully skipped it. There were times when I got a notice and I said, I'm not going. And then there was a time where I got a notice and I just forgot. And a month later, I was like, whoops, I forgot.

I watched the movie, 12 Angry Men, one time. And I was like, what? 12 Angry Men, what is this? The replies to Michelle Beatle tweet. Oh, shit. Bam. That's pretty good. Yeah, that was really good because you're a lefty

and you're like, it's be nice to be online. Mike preferred nomenclatures, White Night. Yes, exactly. They also played a YouTube video that was like, you're going to enjoy your jury service because you're going to learn how the legal system works. I don't think so. That's a great spin zone.

Yeah, I don't think so. I don't think so. Who here is excited to learn about city government? You're going to have a lot of respect for how people get incarcerated. It's going to be great. Wow, OK. Big left cat over there.

Yeah, there we go. All right, so Cool Throne. I have two Cool Thrones. One is Eli Manning because he framed Kaoluleta to get arrested. Do you see that? I did see that. I was pretty nice.

I did hear about that. Did you hear about that? Do you see that? I did. So Archie Manning, we know. Let's just say we'll leave it at that. We know. It really speaks to how shook they are

if they're afraid of Kaoluleta. Yes, but they are. The Mannings are afraid of Kaoluleta. Well, they got rid of Austin Davis too in the off season. Yeah. Was there another way? No, Davis Webb. Yes.

They got rid of Davis Webb because that was like a fifth round pick that was nipping too close at his heels. I almost got triggered about you making fun of Davis Webb. And then I was like, you know what? That is a shitty name. Why do I care about Davis Webb? And that is a shitty name. I think it's because he's a, hey, Davis, if you're a listener,

I just know I was going to defend you. Oh, is it because you think he listens? I think so. But it's like, I'll say it to his face. Like, I'm not, it's no offense, dude. But your name is not remembered. Like, you couldn't even remember it. Right.

Well, I struggled to remember it. It's the last name in a condition that like kids have that's gross. It makes them swim faster. Web feet? Yeah. I actually have a webtoe. Do you?

Fun fact, yeah. They don't? Let me see it. My two middle toes. You want to see it right now? Yeah, let's see it right now, which foot it's on. There's no way. Davis Webb actually sounds like it's a great golfer name.

Yes. There you go. Or a bowler. Or a bowler. Or a bowler. See we're being nice. He couldn't. Yeah, he just is in a quarterback.

So that's still, it's not his shitty name. See those two right there? Ew, gross. My middle two. My middle two toes are webbed, yeah. You're a deformed human being. Well, I'm a really fast swimmer. I'm not as fast as me.

Proved it in Jacksonville pool. That's a fact. No, that wasn't fast. That was a fact. That's a fact. That was two-hundred water. That's two-hundred water. That's two-hundred water.

That's two-hundred water. That's two-hundred water. That's more longer. I don't know about that. You can hold your breath longer. I don't know about that. It's about lung capacity. It's on camera.

OK, and sorry, I'm cooler and stocked cigarettes for longer than you did, so I got weaker lungs. I'm just a better swimmer than both of you guys. OK, so my other cool throne is the Chicago Bulls. They're back. They outscored the Golden State Warriors by 17 points in the second half on Monday night. That's huge.

Huge. Yeah, what was the score on aggregate? We don't have to get into that. I mean, maybe the Warriors scored 92 points in the first half, and Clay Thompson scored 52 points in 25 minutes. But we don't have to get into that. The point is, the Bulls just ran out of time. That was simply what it was.

Yeah, the Warriors greatest weapon is the clock. There's nothing more demoralizing for a franchise than having a guy like Clay Thompson come into your building, play for 25 minutes, so he basically sat down on the bench halfway through the third quarter, and have all the fans cheering for him to break the three-point record, because that's the highlight of the Bulls season,

is someone else breaking a record on the court. It's pretty bad. It's pretty bad. Well, the campaign had that good quarter. The campaign did. Never forget. Fuck, I forgot the date. Yeah, just never forget.

Are they going to extend them, campaign? Do they need campaign finance reform? They probably do. They probably do. OK, let's get to our interview. You can bleep that joke out. We got a big interview. Mark Wahlberg.

So set the stage. We interviewed Mark Wahlberg Sunday morning at a, what was it? I mean, it was like a press, a little press junket, where we had 25 minutes. And we had a strict 25 minutes, but it was very fun. And I think Mark Wahlberg's our best friend now. He likes us a lot, yeah. We got first crack at him, too, which is nice.

Did we? Yeah. They bumped us up to number one. Number one. So we got him fresh. Number one crack at Mark Wahlberg. So let's get to that before we do that. A quick word from our friends at FanDuel.

FanDuel, you know it. PFT and I have been playing on FanDuel all season long. We're running a 16-week season-long contest with a leaderboard in the winter at the end of the season. We'll win a trip to the Barstool Super Bowl party in Atlanta. Don't worry if you missed a week, because only your top eight scores count.

So you can play whenever you want and can still join PFT and I in Atlanta. So PFT, you're going to have someone sleeping in your bed. It's going to be awesome. Not only that, but places two through 50 win an autographed PMT car stick. And we're going to be giving out cool weekly prizes. The week four giveaway, or sorry,

we're giving out something for my pile every single week. I actually, Matt Brown came up and he was like, I need all the stuff from your pile. I gave it to him. It's gone out to people. So sign up right now at fanduel.com slash PMT. You literally can play against us every single week. You can see our lineups, fanduel.com slash PFT.

We both missed the money last week, PFT, but I beat you. So despite a negative score from the Ravens defense, I whooped that ass. That brings our season series to four and four. Ooh, wow. I'm on a two game winning streak. Just a heads up. So watch out, I'm coming.

So let's go. Everyone come play with us on FanDuel all season long. Like I said, you can win a trip to the Super Bowl. You can sleep in PFT's bed. Plus, new users get a $5 bonus when they make their first deposit on FanDuel. Come play with us at fanduel.com slash PMT. That's fanduel.com slash PMT.

Bonus not available for withdrawal. State and age restrictions apply. For full eligibility rules and terms and conditions, go to fanduel.com. Okay, here he is. Mark Wahlberg. Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is Mark Wahlberg, his new movie, Instant Families,

coming out November 16th. I actually have a bone to pick with you about the script. Why? Do you have anything to do with the script writing? No. Do you have any lines? Can you change a line during it? I can say whatever I want.

Doesn't mean it's gonna make it in the cut. Okay, because you bash Blake Griffin in the trade from the Clippers to the Pistons. No, I didn't. Well, you were like, that was a good trade by the Clippers, meaning Blake's not great. I was being facetious to the kid. Oh, okay, there we go.

You were trying to be a supportive father. I was trying to make the kid feel better about them trading their best player who just put up 50. Yes, 50 burger. Yes, so it was a great movie. I also... I actually did improvise that line. You did?

Yeah, full credit for that. All right, so I felt very special because I got a screening of it and I didn't realize that they watermarked your name across the screenings so you can't reproduce it. I didn't know that was a thing. No, you don't wanna go to federal prison for bootleg. Yeah, I've seen the FBI warnings

at the start of the movies. I didn't know that they actually took it that seriously. I'm passing along to my friends, you know what I'm saying? I know, I did enjoy the movie. You guys did kind of a cheat code in it, which is just have a giant dog in a movie. Which just makes it instantly more likable. So I feel like movies with big fluffy cuddly dogs.

Yeah, if you're into that thing, I guess. But hopefully that's not going to decide whether or not the movie's a success. Yes, what does decide whether a movie's a success? And do you know it right away? You're like, this movie's gonna be awesome. Well, you kind of intuitively feel like, yes, this movie is going to be really funny

and heartwarming and emotional and all that stuff. But it's difficult to make movies, never mind making good ones. So you always go in with the best intentions and it's never for lack of effort, but they don't always turn out the way you hope. If you think about what gets you into the Hall of Fame and baseball, I've batted 300.

I think I'm probably 50-50 with the movies that turned out to be good and worked versus movies that didn't. So, but it's tough. And I think you got audience reaction, of course, being a producer on a movie, you've got return on the investment. So, you want the people that are funding the movies

to be successful, so you want box office as a component of that, people who say it's not our liars. So, there's a number of factors. Has there ever been one that you were surprised that like, wow, I didn't think this was gonna be as successful as it ended up being? Yeah, I mean, kind of like runaway hits like Ted, you always kind of knew that the movie had potential,

but you didn't know it was gonna be the biggest R-rated comedy of all time. Whoa! You know, it was gonna be like 550. Nice flex, yeah. You know, you got to sell it back at 550 million. One's Ted 3. That's a little money for a movie about Ted 3.

That's awesome. Yeah, I should be wearing the glasses. You should, yeah. You're Hollywood. Is Ted 3 coming? Do you think, baby? Is Ted 3 coming? No plans to do Ted 3.

You just got to say it so that we get everyone to listen and then they start being like, pardon my time, first or fourth, we're putting you guys in Ted 3. Exclusive. Hey, all right, perfect. Nice, Ted 3 happening. Is there a project that is like a passion of yours

that you've been trying to get off the ground for a while that you'd like to end up doing one day that for whatever reason hasn't made it yet? No, not in the way like, Fighter was a constant uphill battle to get made. I've worked on this movie. The thing that I'm most passionate about right now is a movie about a guy who was a kind of tough guy,

a fighter out of Helena, Montana, who eventually through different events in his life, couple of tragedies ended up becoming a priest and died of a rare muscular degenerative disease, but lots of crazy things happened in between that. And so that's the thing that I'm most excited about now that I've been developing and looking forward to making in the near future.

Yeah, have you gotten to a point though in your career where if you're like, I'm passionate about this, you can kind of not snap and have it be made, but I'd assume that if you are passionate about a project, it's going to get done. Yeah, I mean, I've been successful in getting movies off the ground that I'm passionate about. This movie isn't like, it's not like Avatar

where it's groundbreaking technology and it costs $250 million to make. It's a pretty simple story about a guy who and his journey. So it's not an expensive movie to get made, but Six Billion Alamand is another movie that we've been kind of pushing uphill for quite some time and hopefully we'll be shooting that movie this spring. That's another one that,

and that's a much more ambitious project that's got a bigger price tag on it. I got a pitch for you. You ready for this? Do you want to be James Bond? No, I want to be the blue collar James Bond. There you go, Boston James Bond. Yeah, sure.

Somebody stole the Red Arbok statue. What? You got tracked their ass down. Oh man. Let's get him. Would you do it? Yeah, it all depends on the writer and the director. It's a good idea if executed properly.

Yes. 30 film and franchise. Instead of a Porsche, it's a Ford F-150 with like a Dunkin' Donuts in the cup holder and a Patriots bummer sticker. I don't know about the Ford F-150. That's a little bit more outside of Boston. Okay.

All right, yeah. We workshop it. It's a Civic and it's got a Falcons 28 Patriots 3 flag flying from the antenna. Yeah, we like that. Yeah. We like a, you know, yeah, let's give them, you know. Can we talk about that?

Because we're a sports podcast. Sure. When you left the Super Bowl early, you've talked about it a million times, but I have a question. Were you at some point, when you saw them coming back, you were kind of rooting against the Patriots? Because I definitely were rooting against my team.

If like I left and I was like, this can't happen. I can't have it. I can't have them come back. No, the only thing that matters is victory. I don't care if I'm there and not there. My wife is there. So I'm not gonna celebrate like I did when we beat the Seahawks and go to six in the morning,

you know, keeping my two sons up that late. It was actually perfect. I had to be at Pebble Beach at seven o'clock in the morning and my son had to melt down. They were already on their way coming back. It all worked out perfect. Were you surprised that that like turned into such a big thing?

I was, yeah. Well, you know what it is, is I think what happened was as I was going, people that I know from the media and people that I know from Atlanta were kind of all over me. And they were talking and gloating and all this stuff. And I was like, dude, I got an eight-year-old here dropping F-bombs, throwing stuff, saying everybody,

effing sucks. That's, I mean, that's how I was 33 and I do. My wife is the same way. Yeah, my wife had never been to a football game before. So I'm like, this is not really how it's supposed to be going down. Usually the Patriots win, I don't know what's going on. We've been in many situations like that.

So I was like, okay, we're getting back to the hotel. We saw them win, went to bed. It all timed out perfect. But yeah, and then all those guys who were gloating were now having to deal with me calling them up on FaceTime. Why would you celebrate before it's over? It's like walking around this hotel today, people are like, oh yeah, Red Sox.

I'm like, dude, it's not over yet. So you haven't been corrupted by LA yet. You're not rooting for the Dodgers at all? No, I mean, look, if the Dodgers, I mean, the Dodgers got fair weather fans. I mean, you talk about guys who will go from the Kings to the Dodgers, to the Clippers, to the Lakers. It's like my friend from Texas.

He roots for every single team from Texas. Every college team, every baseball team, basketball team, football team. It's like, enough already. Do you think your son is, have you had to have a talk with him like, hey, it's not we're not going to win every year? Because you guys, like his whole life, he's eight.

He's probably won every year. They're used to winning, yeah. I told him it's not normal that we've been kind of on this kind of run. But that's all that they know. My wife, she never knew anything about football. She hated football. She hated anything that had to do with sports and me getting

crazy. And now she's at every practice of my son plays tackle football. She's at every practice. She's at every game. She's screaming in the kitchen about the Patriots. And to the point where it like chased me out of the room. I'm like, I got to go watch on my own.

I have my own whole system. She doesn't even know what's going on. She's like, why did he throw the ball? I'm like, because he's about to get sacked. There's nobody open. You want to lose 10 yards or just have second and three instead of second and 15. I mean, just relax.

If you were to power rank your Boston sports fandoms by team, how does it go? Patriots 1 or Red Sox 1? Patriots. Patriots 1, absolutely. Patriots gave us so much joy. It was so much heartache and disappointment, being a Red Sox fan, being a Bostonian for so many years.

I'm just glad they got over the hump. I think for me, when they beat the Yankees in 0-4, when they came back down 3-0, it was like that was enough for everybody to celebrate. But then having then swept the Cardinals. And they've been winning. It's fantastic, thrilled with the Red Sox. But another Patriots, I don't know.

I just have a much more personal connection to the team. And they've boosted the city when they needed it most. Have you met Bill Belichick? Has he given you a look like, ooh, this guy. He's like, nice white guy. I can get in the middle. I could probably use him on the team. I've spent some quality time with Bill.

It's nice to be able to see Bill on TV doing his classic. Bill Belichick, we're moving on to Cincinnati. Is he funny in real life? Oh, he's hilarious. I don't buy that. Yeah, he is. I think everyone's.

I think you have a contract, but you have to say that. No, you want to see something. So I'll share a little story with you really quickly. So we had just had a screening of the Patriots. They just screened Loan Survivor. And then we were screening Loan Survivor in Hingham at the Patriot Theater. Just a coincidence, not the team's theaters.

In Hingham, right next to Walbergers, and Marcus Otrell was there. Bill Belichick came, and we were having dinner. And we're sitting there, cutting up, drinking all that stuff. All of a sudden, Julian Adams and walked in with, I think, with Gronk and Stephen Ridley. And Bill looked at them. They didn't know he was there.

They looked at us. They came over and said, we just wanted to say hi, great movie. And they walked out there. They were ready to get it in and have a good night. And then I saw Bill, and I was like, oh. Hell no. That's awesome. He's actually a bigger personality than he is.

Can you see a switch flipping him? If he's out somewhere, and he sees somebody that doesn't want to talk to, he goes from being gregarious, joke telling Bill to just like, certainly, we're going to be looking at all the fastest of our game next. Like that, Bill? Yeah, exactly.

I remember it was weird, because when I went to the Super Bowl last time, he was in such great mood. You know what I mean? And it was like talkative and all that stuff. And I was on the field with my wife and the kids, and we were talking, Mr. Kraft, and I were there. And all of a sudden, he was like, hey, what's going on?

And he was just kind of just into the kind of joyful guy that I know off the field. And then I was like, hey, I'm sorry. Don't you guys have something to do? Yeah. He's like, oh, no, don't worry about that. What's going on? Everything's good.

How's the kids? Everybody's good. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. He's the best of the best. I mean, it's hard to argue. It's hard to argue with that.

It's impossible to argue. Yes. I mean, it's all subject. You can say whatever you want. Yeah, it's very tough to argue with that. What's your favorite movie that you've ever done? And then we're going to tell you our favorites that you've done. Well, you can guess, actually.

I'm more interested in what you think. OK, you tell us yours, then you guess what we're going to say. He's like, the happenings. We know. You can guess. Yeah. We're going to say you guess. You guess.

I don't know. You guess. Just, I don't know, is he looking at me? Yeah, you don't know. I'm keeping you off balance right now. He's on you. I don't know what's going on. I'm looking at your door guy over there,

making sure he's not going to lock in and pull out a 9mm. Oh, dude. That's what I'm looking at. He's in the car, but he's getting hungry. I can't see the gravitate towards the true story, so whether it be lone survivor, fighter, invincible, the fighter. Movies like that.

That's a fighter was very good. Can I do a quick fighter? Not you, not you, not you. You got to do this. Is that pretty good? Head body, head body. Head body, head body. Head body, not you, and not you.

We got to work on the accent. Yeah, that was pretty good. That was pretty good. That was pretty good. But. Now you sound. Yeah, that was good. What I like about that, I mean, like any time somebody's

in a movie with Christian Bill, I think it's like, playing with Tom Brady would be a good analogy. I would think like he makes everybody like so much better around him. He's just so fucking good. You know, would you agree with that? Or am I just giving him way too much credit? Well, I think I elevated his game,

and that particular situation. Yeah, well, OK. But that being said. But Bill fell elevated your game, and that is something. Well, I think it's the reverse in that situation scenario as well. Who's the apple? But, that being said.

No, Christian was fantastic. He knows one of those things where that movie was something at one point, and it's first, you know, was supposed to be a big $70 million movie at Paramount. There were a number of different directors at one point. Brad Pitt was attached to play Dick Eklund. Dick Eklund was always the flashier role. I mean, the guy who was supposed to be the great champion

had this terrible fall from grace, drug addiction, all that stuff was a really kind of flashy flamboyant guy. Mickey is the quietest kind of, you know, when I know Mickey, and I was just with Mickey last week in Boston, he comes out of his shell kind of like Bill. But, you know, other than that, he's usually really shy and quiet. But, Matt Damon was attached to play that part.

And, you know, I thought Christian would absolutely kill it. I had seen him in The Machinist and in other movies. And I was like, OK, this is the guy. And then, ultimately, the studio was like, I don't know. I don't see it. And so, I got the movie out of Paramount. I was able to finance the movie. We did it for less than $20 million.

I think ultimately, it was like $11 million I was spending on the movie. And, but he was fantastic. He killed it. How is Netflix, you mentioned like the price of movies. How has Netflix changed like the movie making process? Do you or most movies made for a lot less money now? No, I think it depends.

I think, I think for us, television changed the game more than streaming services. I mean, we started producing. We started producing television that was at HBO with Entourage. And so, instead of having, instead of having, you know, 70 day instead. We're going to get to that part. I have a pitch for you. This is actually my funnest interview.

There we go. In a long time. Yeah. But they get out, bitch. They had. But no, it started out where it was like, you know, you had X amount of time and X amount of money. And then with television, it was like, you know, you had a lot less time

and a lot less money. So we were just kind of doing things on the go. And then when DVD sales started to decline and studios were crying poverty, we were like, well, we can make movies for less money, but we want to be able to participate in the profits if they're successful. So you take the risk to be able to reap the rewards if the movies work. And then with with Netflix and with streaming services, I mean, people just, you know, technology has changed.

Everything changed. So people decide when and where and how they want to view their content. So I'm actually making my first Netflix movie now as an actor. Nice. And and it'd be interesting to see, you know, we'll still get a theatrical release and that stuff, but people want to watch when and where they want to watch. So you got to be able. You cannot fight the inevitable.

Yeah, I was going to say, you have to be to be a real artist. Now you have to make like a super indie Netflix release and be like, this has been my passion project for all my life. And now Netflix, I can do it. You got to do that. You do a silent film, black and white sound. Yeah. Everybody's reinvented himself.

It's you doing curls for an hour and a half. Oh, there you go. And you've just been, it's your Netflix passion project. You and Paul Ryan, we got a lot. I we're starting to cook. I don't know if you see what's going on on this. You know, Adam Sandler. I do.

OK, we'll talk about that. We'll get to that. Well, I actually do have some pitches for you. So you have entourage. Yeah. Then you did entourage for the NFL with ballers. You ever think about doing entourage for like bloggers and podcasts? Yeah, yeah.

Just think about it. We're basically like NFL players, except we're not rich. Yeah, we don't really have sex. Yeah. We're just boring versions. Like, yeah, just like 1% milk version. Right. There's an audience for that.

There's a story arc where one of the podcasters is like, I'm dating this model, but it's actually he just made it up. And he's like, you guys, you guys don't even know how hot she is. She lives in Canada, that whole thing. Yeah. There's a part where you guys could where we're interviewing some actor and then it goes way off the rails. Like you can include like all this stuff.

Yeah. And he just wants to punch us. But he's not going to. Yeah, but he's just staring at like one of the guys. And then he's like, you know what? I like you guys so much. I'm going to give you money. I'm going to give you money.

I could be. Yeah. I have so much cash in my pocket from my hamburger industry. Boom. And he just gives us all this money. So what do you guys don't realize? You're stuck in this room together all the time. Yeah.

You're getting at each other. Packages. Ugh. Talent is sexy to women. You guys got to get out to it. True. We do. True.

We don't really get out there. We didn't finish the, what do you think, our favorite movie? We never got to it. Yeah, I'm interested. Yes. Fuck, I did 50 fucking movies. Yeah. I'm getting guests.

Lots of shoes from. I only just cut to the chase. All right. I'll just say Boogie Nights. Yeah, Boogie Nights is awesome. You too? Yeah. Were you pissed off that they didn't let you use your own cock?

No, not at all. Wait, how do you know he didn't? I've only been like, what's wrong with me? No, it's the only problem I've ever kept from a movie. Yeah. Oh, that's it. Yes, in actuality, yes. In today's day, that would be bodysuit.

Yeah, yeah. And I would have a lawsuit. Were you surprised at Boogie Nights? That became like such a cult classic. And that became a movie that just lived on. That was a movie where it was like, OK, this movie could be, you know, when I got, before I got in the script, I got pitched the movie.

And I was like, I'm not doing that. You know, I had just kind of come from music and the Calvin Klein thing. And I was like, what the heck? Now all of a sudden they want me to be a porn star. I was like, and I'm not doing that. And then Showgirls had just come out. And that was a complete utter disaster.

So it was like, but I kept hearing from other people, no, no, no. This is great. The script is fantastic. Just read the script, me with the director. And finally I picked up the script, read like the first 30 pages. And I was like, I don't know, this could be great. And this could be really bad. And then once I met with Paul Thomas Anderson, I was like, OK,

this guy's legit. He's on the level. You know, this is not some ploy to get Marky Mark finally out of the underwear. Yeah. So so I committed right away. And it was one of those things where, you know, you're always curious because, you know, De Niro was attached at one point to play the Jack

with the Bert Reynolds part. Drew Barrymore was going to play roller girl. Sean Penn was going to play the Alfa Molina part. There were a lot of people circling that movie for quite some time before it got off the ground. So how does that work? Well, do you know if someone like is up for a role that you're up for? Do you hear all that?

You're like, I'm going up against this guy for this role. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I think, you know, like at this stage of the game, certainly, you know, there's only a handful of guys. So it's like, OK, there's a there's a kind of there's a piece of material floating around and they know so-and-so is interested. Or, you know, they go to so-and-so first or, you know, somebody's attached or people are competing to get, you know, an IP that's out there,

a book or something that's come out, you know, so who's the top? Who's a top dog? Is it DiCaprio? They're like, oh, Leo's got it. So no one else gets it. It depends. No, it depends on what it is. I think everybody, you know, I think there are certain things that he does better than anybody else.

There's other things that I, you know, I do comedy. I do action. I do drama. So it kind of depends on what it is. Yeah. What was the last movie that you really wanted to do? I never say nobody's better than me. No, there you go. I like that. I like that. Don't get that twisted. Is there a movie that pops to mind, maybe not the last one,

but one that sticks in your head about a movie that you were kind of attached to you wanted to do, but somebody else ended up getting it? Um, you know, it's a pet. I think there may be movies that I was kind of interested at one point or another. I don't think there was ever one where it was like, wow, God, I really should have done that. I think I dodged more bullets than, you know, kind of made bad choices on passing on movies.

So what's a bully you dodged? Starship Troopers. Oh, that's a great movie. The Shower scene. One of my first tests, yeah. I mean, we're at the right page of that was like, yeah, some of the first. I honestly, yeah, I remember. You should see the tips.

Yes. And like the first 20 minutes. I usually don't make it. But is there a famous one? I didn't make it past the, um, I was supposed to be Superman. Nick Cage was actually supposed to be everything. No, I think, you know, I was kind of in the mix to play Robin, a Batman at one point. Oh, like the Chris O'Donnell one. Yeah. Yeah. Big time bullet dodge there.

Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah. That was that was good that you didn't get that one. It was smart. Um, I also liked, um, I liked you in Born Identity. I thought that was really good. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Great franchise.

Which one was your favorite? I had the first one when we were shows up on the boat. Yeah. I like three when you killed all those guys. I still have that boat. Yeah. Yeah. Do you?

Shit. Um, all right, we're going to wrap up in a second. Well, I also had to departed. That was Boston. Departed was. Yeah. What's great. Boston Tourage.

Yeah. All right. Who had the good Boston accents and who had the bad Boston accents? Jack Nicholson's was not that good. Jack Nicholson's wasn't great. Um, you know what it was? It was like the older guys that were in the movie that weren't like the main stars that had the real accents.

Like if you watch the wire, it's like all the, all the second rate cops and the wire have the real accents. Leo's was good. Yeah. Leo's was okay. Here's what's that. Yeah. Matt Damon had a really good one. Really good.

No, Matt and I used to sit. He's just a great actor, isn't he? Matt and I used to sit there and be like, you know what? I think we're going to stick out and be like, fuck man, we're going to be the ones with the bad accent. Right. Yeah, that actually is. You know, they're like, why are they talking like that?

Right. You know, doesn't everybody talk like JFK? Yeah. That's actually funny that the pressure's on when everyone's doing it around you. Um, all right. I have one last question. It's a seek eat question.

There's only one last question. Well, we got two and then one other where we were told strict time and we respect your time. Yeah. I just want to go sit in the room, talk to some boring journalists. Yeah. Right. We can hang.

We can actually put on the, do you want to really want to hang? Yeah. We could bully the next guys that come in that are boring. Hey, move it along, buddy. We're going to go watch football for the rest of the day. That's basically our job. So you're more than welcome to come hang. Oh, who won the Jaguars Eagles game?

Uh, we don't talk about that. But we're close personal friends at Blakeportals. So if you thought about bashing him in that moment, don't. Blake, why? What happened to him? He's a great guy. We're just saying. He's going through some bad times.

Yeah. Did they bench him? What happened? No, well, it was the last week as Cody Castle. You knew they benched him. No, I didn't actually. Hey, you ribbon on that. I know I didn't actually.

I knew that he was out of the game, but I'm thinking no. I didn't know that they benched him because I actually have a day job. So I got a lot of shit to do, but I thought, I heard, I heard, I heard something that and he wasn't playing and I never heard about him getting hurt. So I was like, for them to bench him is absolutely crazy. I mean, why are they still playing Eli Manning at the benching Blakeportal? That's fair. No sense.

I mean, see Tom Coughlin, if he was still with the Giants, he would be Eli, wouldn't be playing. If you don't want to hang out with Blake, which I think is crazy too, because Eli, you know, I mean, he brought them to championships, even though they were bullshit wins. They were. Well, they count. Yeah, they do.

But that being said, that being said, I mean, Eli should get the kind of respect that he deserves from the Giants hand and all these guys are flipping so quick. Well, I don't know if it's quick. You can't trust these fair weather fans. They'll leave it half time on you. I don't know what it. Look at the Patriots have done what nobody else has done, right?

The performing at the level that they are for the amount of time that they have is just unheard of, right? So, I mean, the guy won two championships. Okay, you got, you got to say, Juan Barclay, you kind of rebuild, you overpay Odell, you know, you make some good moves and you make some bad moves, right? But you don't go shit on the guy. Oh, I, I disagree. I think that you've been brainwashed by Archie Manning.

I have a theory that the Mannings have. No, I've never heard anything about. Oh, you've never heard. No, I know who he is. I know he played for the Saints. I know he has another son who is now doing broadcasting. Yeah, actually the nicest of the three. I don't know.

I don't think they should have sat like portals, but I also think, you know, that the, the Jags were, were a little bit more hype, you know? Yeah, yeah, they were still. Blake's going to be fine. Don't worry about the hype. Yeah, yeah. All right. Seeky question.

Put in promo code. Why are you guys kissing this guy's ass? Because he's a good friend of ours. He let us stay at his house. Oh, really? Yeah. No, that's serious. When we're in L.A., we say your house.

We like sometimes couch. No. Just kick it out. Okay. And if, if we won't, if it were, if it were 15 years ago and I was single, absolutely. We'd be doing it on your wife and my kids. Yeah, right.

But you're like the level of defense we're giving to Blake Portals right now. If you said that we could stay at your house anytime somebody attacked you, you would get that pit bull defense. We'd be all up in their ass. We'd be Wahlberg guys. Swimming in that guy's ass. But you guys, you just had a couple things and then they changed the subject. You really didn't do shit.

But you're not talking about Blake anymore. Portals ain't shit. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You want to go? You want to go? Lock the door. He's looking at it. He's not leaving.

He asked me if I want to go and he's looking at his yellow. I'll sit on you. Pad. Okay. Seeky question. Promo code take. Here's why you're really intimidated. I read on the internet that you have three nipples.

Yes. PFT has four. I got four. You got a problem? So what's up now? You intimidated? What's up now? See that one right there?

And I have a super deep. I have a super deep belly button. There's four. That's not enough. Oh, let's see yours. It's like a cigarette burn or some shit. See this belly button? I don't even think you have.

Oh, he was about to risk it all. I don't even think you have three nipples. I think that you're not a nipple. Here's a nipple. There's four. Yeah. I got 23% more nipples than you. What now?

How do you stay in such great shape? Exercise. Okay. Yeah. I was wondering that. Yeah. You just always ripped. No, I'm not always.

It really depends on what I'm doing for a movie. I've gotten, I've had the pleasure of putting on weight in Deepwater Horizon and getting to 200 pounds. That was been fun. Yeah. Well, it was fun for a couple of weeks. And then it was like, oh, it was just, it was like weird having to sit down to put my socks on.

Yeah, you get fat guy tired. And I'm, yeah. And I'm in Louisiana and it's just fried food. Oh. You know what I mean? And it's the summertime and it's just hot. Love it. Just love it.

I got tired of that after a while. But I'm looking forward to eating and drinking again. Yeah. When you try to put on weight for good reasons, you don't get to put on fun weight and just eat fast food and whatever, pizza and ice cream. It's like, OK, you need to drink this milkshake that tastes like shit and has 70 grams of protein in it.

Well, you've got to be able to mix it right. Yeah, well, it tastes good. Well, I know, man. I'm in bulking season right now. All right, Mark Wahlberg. This has been a tough one. You're herding in the motherfucker. Yeah, I am.

Yes. The nipples, they grow extra. Having a nipple is like little fertilizer, little patches of fertilizer for chest hair on your belly. You wouldn't know because you only got two. I got three. How pronounced is your third? It's pretty pronounced.

It's pretty pronounced. You're still out on that. We'll have to bleep it. It's not like, you know what, it's like a boy nipple. It's not like a man nipple. Oh, OK, little boy nipple, yeah. But you can tell that it's definitely, it definitely says nipple.

Two and a half minutes. It's a little mole or. We're getting the cut. We're getting the, we're done. Mark, Mark. Yeah. Your nipple, your nipple, not you and not you. You burn yourself with a sparkler.

Some shit when you're at a Matt Damon concert. We're getting the, we're about to get killed. We're about to get killed. We appreciate it. We would have done this forever. It was fun. Yeah. I appreciate it.

We would have done it forever, literally. That's not like we're going to keep an eye on you. Are you guys actually on air personalities? Yeah. That interview with Mackie Mack was brought to you by Duncan. We all know what the most important meal of the day is. And while there's some scientific proof to back that up, have you heard about the most important deal of the day?

Probably not. We'll move over breakfast because right now you can get two bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches for five bucks all day long at Duncan. And if we can all agree on one thing, it's that two bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches is always better than one, especially if it only costs five bucks. And we can also probably agree on a few more things, but I won't get into that.

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is applied toward anything you keep from your shipment. Get started now at stitchfix.com slash PMT, and you'll get an extra 25% off when you keep all items in your box. That's stitchfix.com slash PMT. Get started today, stitchfix.com slash PMT. OK, let's get to some segments. And before we do that, I have been

distraught for the last three days for the biggest fuck-up we've ever had in an interview on Sunday night. So we interviewed Mark Wahlberg Sunday morning. We had a full fucking day. I was coming back from Jacksonville. It was a weird time. We've never done a Sunday morning interview.

It's just when we get weird timed interviews, we're always just a little off. Because we're thinking in the back of our mind at 2 o'clock on a Sunday, we're like, what's the score of the jest game? What's going on in Chicago? Exactly. So on Sunday night at like 2 in the morning after we finished taping, I texted the group text

and I said, we fucked up more than we've ever fucked up. And that was not asking Mark Wahlberg about Jimmy Butler. Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I'm so angry at myself. And I want you to know that from deep down that I'm very angry at myself. Now, we did have constraints on time. Not an excuse, but we were getting the, you got to go.

We would have gotten around to it. We would have gotten around to it if they didn't ask us to stop. Here's what we need from you guys. Anyone who ever sees Mark Wahlberg ever again say, part of my take needs to ask you about Jimmy Butler and just keep saying that to him. And eventually he'll come back on. Because he'll be like, why are these people keep saying this?

Because the story is he's best friend of Jimmy Butler, right? He's like convincing Jimmy to do weird stuff. He possibly broke up. Like, he possibly is the reason why Jimmy Butler has gone Hollywood. Yeah, he's the Jimmy Whisperer. Yes. In a bad way.

Well, we don't know that because we don't know. We didn't get to ask him. We only know one side of the story. Yes. So please help us out. I don't know how often people will see Mark Wahlberg. You know what? Just in general, if I'm having a conversation with somebody

on an NFL Sunday and it's between the hours of 1 and let's say 6.30, just do me a favor. Every 30 seconds in our conversation, update me on the scores verbally. My mind is elsewhere. That way I won't be as distracted. You could even tell during the interview, because I kept on saying, hey, Mark,

do you want to just watch some football together? Like, you want us to turn on the TV that's sitting right behind you? Because I was just staring at it the whole time. I wish that TV had football on it right now. OK. Maybe it's your pinky that made you do it. Maybe it's your pinky that's so forgetful.

That's my little spidey sense. Yeah, I might want to get rid of that thing. It gets in more trouble. OK, so we have, first up, LeBron Blames. The Lakers are bad. LeBron Blames is bad. And last night against the Timberwolves, Jimmy Butler, hit a last second three, or like 18 seconds left.

Yeah, I think he had 15 in the third fourth quarter. So not to brag too much. So Mark's doing a good job. Not to brag, PFT. But LeBron afterwards was asked about frustration. And he said, you probably don't want to be around me when my patience runs out. So that was a threat.

He's basically saying that he's the Hulk, right? He wouldn't like me when I'm angry. He was threatening the media. He was, yeah. He was about to tears clothes off. And Lonzo Ball. Well, or was he mad about their performance? I think he was mad about their performance

because it wasn't on the West Coast, so people actually watched it. Sounds like LeBron, you know, this is a symptom of alcohol withdrawal, bits of rage. He was getting solo drunk on a. That's right. Oh. On Sunday night.

Yeah. Solo Dello. Yeah. So. He said, go and solo again. And then he, Instagram too. He's like second bottle. Well, his kids helped him finish the first one.

Yeah. Yeah, it's a little pacifier. Yeah. So little one. So here's what we know for facts. And then after he tweeted, like after he put up the pictures of the bottles, when he tweeted the MJ thing. So he was drunk tweeting.

Yep. So follow me on this. Here are the facts as we know them. It's not what you know, it's what you can prove. Shout out to Denzel Washington. He had at least two bottles of wine to himself, split maybe with a couple glasses to his like three-year-old kid or whatever.

So that's enough to intoxicate a man. I ran the calculations on the Alcoholics Anonymous website that shows you exactly how much. That would put his blood alcohol content at above the legal limit, which means he was intoxicated, meaning the next day he was going through symptoms of alcohol withdrawal, which is maybe why they lost, which is why he would be more inclined

to snap at members of the press. So there's only one solution to this, as I can see it. And that's if just Gatorade makes like a wine flavor. Oh, I thought you could say rehab. Well, no, no. He just needs to sip on wine throughout the day. OK, all right, just keep it going. That would be actually kind of nice.

He was drunk going. Yeah, just use the rollover minutes. It's like waking up on a Saturday morning, hungover, like I need to have a mimosa to get it going again. Here are the dogs. So I would actually be, I would be in favor of LeBron just like strapping either bags of Francia to his system and just like squirting a little bit in his mouth

during games, or just on the sidelines when everybody else has a water bottle, just like a little champagne flute that he's just sipping from. Or maybe like a wine flavored mouth guard. Yeah. That would work. Get the little taste on your lips, that's all he needs. So yeah, LeBron blames.

It's in full effect. Although this happens every time early in the season with him. However, I really do think like 49 wins. No, and LeBron also was like, wait, we have to play the T-wolves. And then looked and was like, if I had stayed in the East, I would have been putting up 52 and 25 minutes against the Bulls. Yeah, hey, it would have been a lot easier.

Hey, when do we play against the Magic? Yeah, when do we, when's our three games in a row against the Bulls, the Knicks, and the Magic? Yeah, so we're going to Charlotte next, right? Oh, the Hawks are on the schedule four times, right? Yeah, well, yeah, murderers row of the Magic, the Hawks, and the Hornets, back to back to back. Not happening, LeBron.

Not happening in the West. This is your bed, you made it. The irony is, I think I actually do like LeBron James more when he's angry. I like Mad LeBron, when he's showing like some genuine emotion about stuff. So you're like, oh, LeBron, you're so cute when you're angry. Yeah, exactly.

I just want to pop him on the nose. I like it when you get mad at me. OK, so next up, staying on LeBron, Kings Stay Kings, Skip Bailas. So the Michael Jordan promo for Sunday Night Football went viral. It was a pretty awesome promo. He was talking about the goat debate.

Did a little switcheroo on everyone. Everyone thought, oh, he's going to play LeBron one on one and kick his ass and ruin LeBron's legacy. Nope, he was talking about Brady versus Rogers. Skip Bailas, not so happy. He said, for the first time ever, I'm mad at Michael Jordan. Why did he need to do that Sunday Night promo for NBC? Sure doesn't need the money or attention,

yet he opened the doors and gave credence to two blasphemous debates, MJ versus LBJ and Brady versus Rogers. MJ and Tom Brady are runaway goats. I love it. I love Skip. He's mad. He's actually more pro Michael Jordan than Michael Jordan is.

Yes. He's a bigger stand. He's the Michael Jordan of Jordan stands. Yes, absolutely. And Michael Jordan is the LeBron James of Jordan stands. Yes. And Nick Wright is the LeBron James of LeBron James stands. No, well, no.

Nick Wright is the Michael Jordan of LeBron stands. Nick Wright is the Bill Russell. Is the Tom Brady. He's got more rings. He's the Tom Brady of LeBron stands. Yeah, I'm struggling to. Yes, yes. That last one that you said was absolutely right.

But it's just the best that Skip is mad at Michael Jordan for even dignifying the LeBron MJ debate. Double mad. Yeah, double mad. Double mad because of the Aaron Rogers, Tom Brady debate. So that promo was awesome. It was pretty good. Yeah, I mean, Michael Jordan has played it well, too,

where if he doesn't do like a ton of media. So when he does, it's like seeing a unicorn out in the wild. You're like, whoa, he's doing a promo? That's crazy. Yeah, it's like a really, it's like a quiet guy in a movie. Right. He doesn't say anything. It's like Blutarski in the Animal House.

Yeah. He's like so dumb all the time. He doesn't like do anything important. Then he stands up on a table and delivers a speech. Is it over? Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? It doesn't matter if you fuck it up because everyone's like, this guy's talking now.

He talked. Whatever he said, I'm in. Yeah, it'd be like if Teller, Teller ever talked. Ken? Teller is ironically the one that doesn't talk. He doesn't talk. Yeah. Got it.

Does he talk in real life? I don't know. Unconfirmed. We have a hurt or injured big Ben. He broke his finger. I'm going to go injured. I think he's injured. He thinks that he's injured.

He's full on injured. He's full on injured. This actually, if you are a betting man and we are, you have to take the Steelers this weekend because an injured big Ben or even a big Ben who thinks he's injured always is dangerous. Yes. Because if he is actually feeling pain somewhere,

then that's a big part of his brain that's not able to fuck everything up for the rest of his body. Right. Ow, my finger. Don't throw that interception. Plus he has some, yeah, he's got something to think about like after the play where he can like really,

you know, instead of getting a taunting penalty for like spinning a ball or getting up in somebody's face, he's just going to be constantly grabbing that left hand and reminding the cameras that, hey, I'm playing with a broken finger. He really is a dog that fakes an injury. He is. Incredible.

It's incredible. How do you even know if a finger on your opposite hand is broken? I was thinking about that earlier. Well, I'll tell you when the Texas won the Super Bowl. So the only time I think I would ever actually realize that my left index finger was broken, because I'd use my right hand for literally everything,

is when I have to enter in like my phone number or a zip code on an app where you have to use the long number keyboard instead of the very convenient phone one. That, by the way, if you're still making apps in the year of our Lord 2018 that doesn't let me just do the phone keyboard with the numbers, I'm absolutely not signing up for your app. I'd agree.

That's how lazy I've got. You just also told on yourself. You don't have sick handles, so. Because I use my left all the time when I'm going to the rack. Oh, when you're driving? Yeah, exactly. We have a Hank Hot in the streets before we get to guys on checks.

Cardi B and Nicki Minaj back at it. So what's going on? I saw the Cardi B. She did like 15 Instagram posts. Nicki Minaj has a radio show called Queen Radio. Yes. She was spouting off, saying that Cardi B got attacked at the Harper's Bazaar party. She said, Rob, beat you so bad, I was mad at Rob.

You went home and told people security hit you, and we let that ride for legal reasons. But in reality, she said, Rob, held her head, punched her like eight times, and I could hear it. I'm talking like the hardest punch you've ever heard in your life. Who punched who? Someone in Nicki's camp was beating the shit out of Cardi. Cardi.

Allegedly. Oh. And then Nicki said, anyone want to release the footage, I'll give them 100 grand. We should stage that footage. But then, that's a good idea. Yeah. And that just set Cardi off.

She made like 100 videos, roughly. Yeah, she ruined her Instagram feed. Yeah. It looks like shit. It's just the dot. It looks like Morse code at the top of it. Yeah. Can we get those two to actually just fight and rough and rowdy

or just move them down the road? Well, she said that. She's like, I'm sick of this internet shit if you want to talk with fucking talk. And then Facebook went on that 15 video rant. She put out receipts. She was saying that people were coming to deals with her before Nicki.

And she wasn't being like, she was putting everything out there, like fucking label people's emails, like everything. And then after all that, Nicki just put out a tweet that was like, can we all just get along? And Cardi B put it up. I was like, yes, let's do it. Is it me or is this the best thing that's ever happened to Nicki Minaj?

She's making a comeback. Wasn't she falling off for a while? A little bit. She was getting a bit. She was getting that cool. She also was a classic case of, there is a level of too much plastic surgery. Too much butt.

When you get a little too far down the line of, Wayne Newton would be a good case of that. Yes. Like, hey, when you get addicted to plastic surgery, we can all tell. You know, a little this, a little that. OK, you know, you're in Hollywood, you got to do that. But when you're doing everything every day, you look weird.

She was at some awards show and she was sitting on a chair on stage. And it looked like she was sitting on just like two giant inflatable donut pillows. And she was, yeah, she was just like a big wax doll. Just thick as hell. Yeah, so thick. 5,000 seats.

I don't think it's going to end, though. No, I would say no. Give it like two months, the same cycle spout off. She has a radio so she needs shit to talk about. Has she gone in an offset yet? Well, there was there was there was the motorsport beef where like her and Nikki were on this supposed to be on a song together and like because the offset was

on the song card. She claimed that Cardi B was like fucking her over. Can I ask a question to two parter? It's probably stupid. One are either Nicki Minaj or Cardi B are either of them considered ratchet and two, what is ratchet? Cardi B is pretty ratchet or was pretty ratchet. She admits it, though.

Is that a bad thing to be ratchet? It depends. It just means she goes hard, right? She was a stripper. She's from the Bronx. She talks about, you know. I think that's ratchet shaming. I don't think we should ratchet shame.

Be ratchet if you want to be ratchet. Let your freak flag fly. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think Cardi B would admit that she has a ratchet background. Got it. A ratchet past. And where's Nicki Minaj from?

She's also from New York. I think Queens, though. Oh, that's not that. Queens, that's like Kevin James. That's suburbs. OK, yeah, I'm team Cardi B. And Nicki Minaj was also calling out Cardi B's sister for like talking shit, but like, and she was like,

get your sister in check, but Nicki Minaj's brother is registered sexist. Oh, OK, there you go on. He got arrested for pedophilic. Oh, OK. So wait, we are done with her. Who does he support? He's Nicki Minaj's brother.

Again, Cardi B. Oh, no, we are team Cardi B through and through. Through and through. They call us the Cardi Three. Yeah. Me, Hank, and Big Cat. You know what they need is they need the king of New York to decide this.

6'9". I'm sure he's already weighed in. All right, let's do it. How do I convince my boyfriend to leave his dream job helping people in a great city and move to a Rust Belt city working a job that means little to anyone? Show him videos of Grit Week. Yeah, it's just like, hey, you want to be tough.

You want to be gritty. You want to know where America's heartbeat is. I mean, wait, is this person dating Sean McVeigh? Hmm. That's what it sounds like to me. Yeah, just tell him the Browns is actually a very attractive job. Baker may feel pretty good.

Hey, guys, especially Larry Six. Lost again last week. Yeah, I don't know. I'm not into this Larry. Even though I saved his life, I'm not into him. After a long night of boozing at the Jersey Shore, I was peeing, and when I pulled my romper back up, a cockroach fell out of my pant leg.

One of my friends saw what happened and continued to tell everyone, how do I get my friends to just be cool about it and stop calling me crotch roach? Oh, shit, that's so good. No, you're done. The only way to beat a nickname like that is to either one, do something more disgusting.

So if you shit your pants at a bar, you are no longer crotch roach. Crotch roach, yeah. Crotch roach, or two, figure out a way to have one of your friends do something more disgusting. So then they can have a nickname that takes over crotch roach. We talked about something like this a while ago,

but if you could somehow transfer the nickname crotch roach onto somebody else. You need to plant cockroaches into a friend's vagina. Yeah, or if your friend gets crabs, then they're a crotch roach, and then you can be like, we're the crotch roach crew. Yeah. And then it becomes like a cool thing.

That's true. Squad. Oh, you don't have an STD? Yeah. Pussy. That kind of thing. Yeah. Sup boys, especially big cat.

Do I go for a slutty Halloween costume or a costume that's actually funny? I think you go funny. I think age matters a little bit. Yeah, but I think you go funny because it's like. What's the age, when does the cut-off start? Well, I think, just from what I know, girls, they like to dress up,

they like to show off a little bit. It's the one time a year where they can be like, okay, it's gonna get wild, I'm gonna look cute, it's gonna look awesome. And then you kind of get sick of that after a while. You're like, I don't need to have, you know, this thing's hanging out. Two years post-college.

Listen, but you know what? And this is gonna sound like I'm a white knight again. The girl wearing a very, the attractive girl wearing a very funny Halloween costume at the age of like 19 through 22 when you're in college, that actually makes you stand out more than the girls that are dressed up as the slutty cat. Yes, absolutely.

So go funny. Be yourself. Sup the cat. My boyfriend says he wants to cook more at home, but I can't cook at all. And to be honest, he can't even fix a sandwich. Should I take cooking class or just try to get by with frozen foods?

I got a question. This guy's definitely just like had a bad week. I don't understand people who cannot cook. And I'm not saying I'm a good cook, but people who like, I can't cook, I can't make a sandwich. What's wrong with you? Is that cooking? That's just like spreading stuff.

Who are these people like, I can't make pasta? It's the easiest thing in the world. Or macaroni and cheese, Hank. That was one time. Here's a little tip. Just make a microwave dinner and then put it in a different plate. And like sprinkle a little bit of parsley on it.

And then it'll be like, oh wow, this is home cooked shit. But cookbooks are a thing for a reason. Blue apron. You're basically saying you can't follow a direction? Right. I do not understand. There's a difference when someone says I'm a shitty cook. Okay, yeah.

You don't have any imagination, whatever. But saying I cannot cook, that makes no sense. It's like somebody saying I don't have a green thumb with plants. It's like, no, you just water it once a week and then you're fine. Yeah, you just make sure this. There's a set of steps that everybody follows

and it turns out the exact same way. Really, you can either order takeout and the key is just gonna be make it look like you made it yourself. Dirty up a couple pans, put them in the sink. Start small. Just lie to them. Just make some hamburger helper.

If you can make hamburger helper, you're good. You're a great cook. Rice Aroni. Ever do rice Aroni? I've done rice Aroni. Rice Aroni is great. Yeah, it is. Sup boys and bubba.

I constantly catch my boyfriend with his hands in his pants and he always smells his hand after. He says he likes to know what he smells like that day but I just think smelling your own balls is disgusting. Is that normal? Well, here's the thing. You are very privileged to be accommodated by the toiletry industry where you have a thing called douches.

Guys don't have douches. Yeah, it's their hands. They're our hands, so we can either walk around and not know what it smells like or we can be sure that smells bad. Yes, yes. It always smells. The irony is, it never smells good.

Sometimes it's okay. Two minutes after a shower. Your own musk. While I'm in the shower. I like my own musk. I'm not ashamed of that. My balls smell great. To me.

I got his talcum. Now that's a game changer. Yeah, that is. All right, last one. Sup boys, especially thick cat. Whoa. This weekend, my law school had a Halloween party at a bar and I ended up getting really fucked up

and going home with the guy I go to school with. After we left the bar, we took an Uber back to his place, but right before we went inside, it was like he realized what was happening and told me I couldn't spend the night and basically preemptively rejected me and sent me home. I'm a little confused because I look super hot and I know we were both sending off vibes the entire night.

What do you think happened? Do you think he was too fucked up? He has a secret girlfriend or am I actually just not as likable as I thought? I think his mom was there. Oh yeah, I have two parents. Yeah, I was gonna say, secret girlfriend, first of all, you are hot.

Don't let anyone tell you you're not hot. You're in law school, your brain is beautiful. You're hot. With that said, your breath might've stunk. Okay. It might've stunk. You might've had a couple IPAs, you might, like, your breath might've stunk.

I'll just say that. Follow up question, what was she wearing as her Halloween outfit? Were you problematic in some way? But you know it, you know the breath's stinking. It could change everything. You can overlook that. Meh, if it's really bad, it can be overlooked.

Emily Radjikowski walks in here with stinky-ass breath. Yeah, it hurts. It hurts. And there's different levels to stink. Yes, I'm talking about, like, diaper breath. Diaper breath. She's got diaper breath. Listen, you might have diaper breath.

You might, maybe your friends haven't told you, but you could have a case of diaper breath, get that checked out. Or, my theory is this guy just has, like, a bunch of cats and weird animals. And he was, like, we haven't, I'm not prepared to show you my collection of absurd animals out in my house.

Yeah, he could've just not cleaned up and he's just an absolute slob. Yeah, that's probably what it is. All right, that's our show. We will see everyone Friday. We have two-time champion, two, or two-time champion right now. He's holding two belts right now.

Daniel Cormier, UFC 230 this weekend. Really fun interview. Probably my favorite UFC, well, no, Steve Pay was good too. But he's an awesome guy, awesome interview. Get excited, that's coming Friday. We'll see. Let him go.

I'll be coming for your love, okay? Take on me. Take me on. I'll become a true love to you. Needless to say, our whole journey is a funny story. Standing in the white piece of cake, I say I'm sweet.

I surrender to the safe and sound. Take on me. Take me on. I'll become a true love to you. It's part of my tip, present, and part of school sports.