Pardon My Take - Max Homa, Arian Foster, Tiger Woods Accident And Were Going To Be Rich Off Topshot

Episode Date: February 24, 2021

Tiger Woods was in a car accident and hope he is ok (2:33 - 7:30) We’re about to be crazy rich off NBA top shot even though we don’t understand it (7:30 - 19:17). Hot Seat/Cool Throne (19:17 - 39:06). Genesis Open Champion Max Homa joins the show to talk about his huge win on Sunday, choking on 18, and partying after victories (39:06 - 60:51). Arian Foster joins the show to do a Mt Rushmore draft of sports conspiracies (60:51 - 91:57). Guys being dudes, dramatic reading of Jerry Jones and guys on chicksYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, we have a twofer, we have Max Homa, fresh off his Genesis Open win. Genesis Halftime show. Genesis Halftime Open win, and then we have Arian Foster doing a draft of the top conspiracy theories in honor of the debut of Macrodosing, PFT and Arian's new podcast.

We will leave it up to the people to vote, so listen to that, and then we'll put it up to a vote, and the winner of the vote gets a free t-shirt. Whatever conspiracy theory wins, we will send parties involved. We have obviously Tiger Woods News, we are all going to be rich off of Top Shot, we have Guys on Chicks, we have a dramatic reading, a Pac Wednesday show for you, and it's all brought to you by our friends at Verizon. You've heard us talk a lot about how Verizon 5G Ultra Wideband makes gaming better, ultra low lag, console quality gaming on the go, well, we're not just talking gaming.

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available in 2700 plus cities, global claim based on open signal independent analysis. Okay, let's go! Welcome to part of my take presented by Verizon 5G today is Wednesday February 24th and we are about to be rich again. What was the last thing we were about to be rich on? By the way, my douche figurine arrived today. Oh nice, I'm wearing my douche sweatshirt to the moon, no we are going to be rich on top shot.

Now, the real news today was Tiger Woods got into a car accident, we hope he's okay, it would have felt weird to start the show being like today is February 24th and Tiger Woods got in a car accident. Yeah, we're just not trying to bum you out heavily, but we should talk about it a little bit like we obviously hope that Tiger's okay. It seems like he is. Yeah, you know what, right now we're waiting for the facts to come out. So I did break my cardinal rule of just not tweeting right away when something happens,

I didn't even make a joke of it, I made more of an observation that the LA Sheriff's County tweeted in the Masters green color, green and yellow color to announce that Tiger Woods got in a car accident, that was in poor taste, that was my bad, I do hope he's okay. As Max Homer and Brooks Kepke fans, we hope that Tiger is okay. Yeah, yes, exactly. No, I do, it's a rule that is in place for a reason that there's no reason to tweet about anything when like facts are murky, because no one cares that much about my opinion. So that was my fuck up, my bad, I took a mecca before and crowned butler.

Yeah, how many pounds was Ryan Gomes? 265 out of high school. Yeah, so yeah, we obviously hope that Tiger's okay, it's still like a little bit unclear what the injuries are, how serious they are. It's probably better to err on the side of caution. Correct, and also here's what I didn't do and I don't think people should do is speculate on what could have caused it. The real story is that he got in a car accident, you hope he's okay, the actual car crash

looked really bad, it seems like from all reports that it is something with his legs and I saw a tweet from someone in his camp saying that like he's in stable condition so he's gonna be okay, but there'll clearly be injuries from it. This feels like one of those situations where TMZ is shockingly just gonna crush everybody in terms of breaking the most accurate, most up to date news. They pull like rabbits out of their hats a couple times a year when it comes to major celebrity stories like this. I feel like I'm waiting on TMZ to wait for the facts to come out before I will let my

facts come out. Yeah, so here's the report I was reading, Tiger Woods has a non-life threatening injuries per spokesman on LACBS affiliate just now. So yeah, let's hope he's okay and let's hope, you know, it's weird to say it. I saw a lot of people tweeting it, it's kind of weird to be like, I hope he plays golf again, but it's also like the intersports fan to be like, yeah, I hope he plays golf again. I hope he's okay.

And also just know that we interviewed Max Homa on Monday before this happened, so we do ask him a couple questions about getting to meet Tiger, which he had said, he had said that he was, you know, he'd been trying to get Tiger to give him a high five at Riviera for the last 20 years. Right. So we asked him a little bit about that, but that was done before any of this. So if you hear him talking about Tiger, it's not that he's glossing over. It was just in the past.

It was. Yeah, we did it on Monday when we get him right off the win. Okay. So that happened again. Hope it's hope. Hope everything's okay. It's a real thing to see, especially because like, I mean, the like, I don't know. It's weird to go back in time and think about the Kobe, you know, how shocking all that

was. And then you hear this and you see the picture and you're like, holy fucking shit. That is way more severe. And I know that there were some people in the Barstool office and I understand it, uh, in that the use that there used to be a yearly like joke tweet story that would go around being like Joe Flacco or Drew Brees or Jay Cutler broke their legs in a car accident. Yeah. I think it happened twice to Drew Brees.

It happened once, uh, Terry Bradshaw, right? Right. But it's weird to see that and realize that there's actually a lot of people probably weren't on the internet in 2013, 14 where this actually did happen all the time. So when you see Tiger Woods, car accident, leg injuries, I like you, it's a throwback. Obviously that's not the case here, but that I can see the confusion there. Yeah. Um, yeah.

When I saw stories were crazy. When I first saw it come out and honestly, like one of the better life hacks that I've had in the last couple of years is turning on tweet notification notifications from Adam Schefter. Yeah. Because he's always got everything. He's on top of everything. When, when it comes out from Adam, if it's an MRI or if it's an X-ray of somebody's hand

or if it's the fact that Cam Newton's on the Patriots and we get to break it in the middle of the show, it's actually like a good thing. That's Brian tape. Yeah. He hardly ever. Which is still waiting for. Yep. That's true.

He hardly ever falls for any fake news stories. Yeah. So he's pretty good about the retweet button. So, all right. So yeah, hope Tiger's okay. Hope everything works out. Scary, scary news story. But we are going to get rich.

We are going to get rich. Top shot. Top shot. I was, so I spent the morning being skeptical in the afternoon being a true believer. Dude, I'm such a believer because the second I realized that it was exactly what trading cards are except online, I'm in because some guy just sat down one day and was like, I'm going to make pictures of baseball players worth a lot of money. Yes.

Because people will want to look at them. And that, if you think about that guy, when that guy came out, people were like, dude, you're crazy. Nobody wants those. So here's why I was skeptical. I was skeptical because I live life with two hard and fast rules. One is everyone's trying to scam everyone at all times. Okay.

So someone's going to get their nut off while everyone else holds the bag. If you're not, if you're not doing the scam and you're getting scammed. Correct. Yeah. Two is when I hear about a scam or this isn't a scam, this is real. When I hear about something, the latest and greatest new thing. It's too late. Yeah.

And that's really, that is, I think, truthful. The minute that it hits my ears or I understand something, the money that was to be made has already been made. I am the mush, the cooler, whatever you want to call it. But when I show up to the party, the party's usually over. Wouldn't you guys agree? Yeah. I think that's fair.

So I walk in the door and I'm like, Hey, let's all get drunk and everyone's like, dude, it's time to go home. There are studies that have been done, like I know in the tech industry, it's like you've got your, the people that develop the product, then you have like the early stage adopters that really get to become experts on it. Then you have like the tipping point. And then just past the tipping point, you have like the sucker public that gets in at the very end and doesn't really understand where this thing came from that we are, we're

not the last of the heart. I think we're the first of the suckers. So sometimes we can get in and we'll be a little bit sucker, we'll be less suckery than the majority of people, but we're still like the first suckers. Yeah. We're the first tranche of suckers because they know that like, okay, I might be maybe a couple of days ahead of time magazine, but that might be like pushing it. It might not be a couple of days.

It might be a day before your parents read it on, you know, in a magazine or a newspaper. I might have found out about it 24 hours before that. So I'm typically like four days before my mom puts a Facebook post up about something and about five days before Rick Riley makes a joke about it. So that is exactly, you're right. That's where we are. I think we can still, we can still get rich off this though, because I bought the most pristine mint condition gift of Alex Caruso blocking James Harden today.

It is sick, paid 500 bucks for it. Here's the thing. Real cash? Yeah. It's all made up. Yeah. So money's not real. Monopoly.

You can't use Coinbase to pay for stuff. Oh. Okay. So I tried to buy a Jimmy Butler gift, right? But I couldn't. This is what made me skeptical about the entire operation. I was excited. I was pumped up.

I was ready to spend $3,000 on a gift of Jimmy Butler hitting a jump shot. I was ready to do it. I was trying to do it. And the technology was like, hey, we're not selling them right now. Chill. The site's not working. The site, if you can't take $3,000 from me, the first of the suckers, to me, that's a red flag that you're not really going to be able to build the real idiots out there.

Yeah. Well, so I have a different experience so far. I have someone else running my account for me. And this is truly, I'm too old, Billy. I was immediately gifted three of the same auto porter plays. And I don't know if those people realize, like, I actually do watch the Bulls. And I know auto porter's not, like, this isn't going to be valuable. So thank you for the gift.

But it's clear you're probably using it as a tax write off, trying to be like, that's a loss on auto porter. How about a little, how about some Patrick Williams, the rookie for the Bulls, who has, by the way, one of my favorite new nicknames, the paw. Why is he the paw? He's like the claw. He's like Kawhi, but he's the paw. Okay.

Stacey King's been calling him the paw. I kind of like that. Yeah. Isn't that nice? Paws only have, they've only got the three fingers and thumbs. Doesn't matter. They're huge. JPP should be the paw.

Yeah. Paw. And it's Patrick Williams, I think. Yeah. So, I mean, that's cool. I wish that they would expand the field a little bit, because right now it's like, when Tops used to come out with baseball cards, they'd have everybody on there. They'd have, like, even the bench players, they'd have the backup shortstop on there.

But now it's like just the stars on here. So I can't even find a deli. They're no deli. Maybe they're like super expensive. They're like a black orchid magic card. Yeah. My entire investment strategy is to corner the market on Lou Dort. Okay.

I'm putting everyone in the Dorcher Chamber. We're going to buy all the Lou Dort. And then when Lou Dort wins MVP, everyone's going to be like, where are all the Lou Dort Top Shots? Oh yeah, one guy owns them all. I like, we got the, we got the Dorcher Chamber. We got Matthew Skellovedova. It's going to, fellas, we're going to be.

I'm pretty leveraged with MarketSmart right now. Are you? I got a couple of steals. Okay, let's just take a step back for a second. And I did make this point earlier today when Skeptic Big Cat came out. PFT, do you think there's a little bit, just a tiny bit? I made this point that we're in a pandemic. The economy, a lot of people are out of work.

It's tough times for people. Do you think that the rise in get rich quick schemes might have something to do with that? I think that we're going to see a lot more weird shit like this. Okay. This is actually, you know what? I actually think that the Top Shot is like the tipping point of the get rich quick schemes because up until now, they've been remarkably successful. We've seen a lot of get rich quick schemes that have actually gotten a lot of people

rich quick. Well, a lot of people have also lost money on GameStop or AMC and all that stuff. Right. But I feel like right now is when we're hitting the time zone where the pandemic lasted long enough where people were cooped up in their houses thinking of these crazy ideas and then starting to develop them, like eight months, nine months later, when they actually hit the market, like think about the shittiest ideas you had about the world and things that sounded like a good idea to you in late March, early April last year.

Riding a bike around Manhattan. Riding a bike around Manhattan in the rain. Starting a video game franchise with a fake character that no one would ever watch that. But like we did, people did have terrible ideas about everything back then. Still do to this day. And now those quarantine ideas, those isolation ideas are now about to just flood the market. So this might be the last of the good quarantine ideas to flood the market. When I see people spending, you know, $100,000 on gifts, I want to be a part of that ride.

Yes. And I mean, I've seen Billy's mining. So what are you mining, Billy? You're high. Yeah. See, there's there's all kinds of things. I every time I go back to my my desk, Billy and Marty Mosh and I'm not going to lump you in there, Hank.

That's all right. I mean, have a new a new scheme that's like, Hey, this is the way follow me to, you know, the land of yachts and mansions. So so I had an idea because people are getting really into like figuring out different derivatives. Yeah. But that was like those are like the guys in Wolf of Wall Street. You know, yeah, exactly. So those guys went to jail.

But they are not all of them. They also I like how it's like, you got to be a shark. You got to be like Jordan Belfort. Like that guy was a crook, a criminal and a felon. But he also got laid. Like those guys got so late. He did. They got laid off, got laid.

They got laid on planes. Yeah. They did quailudes. It's not even the mile high club. I don't think if you just fuck out out in the open on a plane. No, this is sweet. So I was thinking that we got to have our own way of selling the stock and stuff, right? Like the Green Bay Packers do it.

I'm an owner. I feel good about being an owner. I don't regret that investment. What if we sold stock in Billy as his owners? Couldn't we issue stock in Billy? You don't own me. Yeah, we do. No, did you read your contract?

You didn't read your contract. Yeah. Talk into the mic. Billy, right now Billy is there's a bull market on Billy. Yeah, no, Billy's got Billy's got a little bit of shine on him. Billy's underweight. Knocked out hose I can say. Could strip away the parts too.

Yeah. Yeah. To sell your gallbladder. Yeah. Your kidneys. My organs are probably your eyeballs. Pristine. I don't want to brag, but I probably have some pristine organs.

We could like bane capital you. We could be like a private equity firm. And I bet your right hand could fetch like if we put it out there on the market. We're like this right hand was a college quarterback at one point. So every 10 inches. We should. There you go. We can transfer it to Tray Lance.

Maybe just the fingers. We'll just sell the fingers. Pieces of Billy. Yeah, I honestly think collectible pieces of Billy. We could make money selling like either pictures or actual parts of Billy. And we just blockchain it. Yeah, we block. That's that's the tricky part.

I don't know how to do the blockchain besides just saying like it's the blockchain. Right. It's just the blockchain. Can you get a mind it? HFTs. Yeah. Can you get in trouble? If it's HFT, we're good.

If you say something's blockchain, can somebody be like that's fraud if it's not on the blockchain? Blockchain is what makes all these things possible to have any value because it almost makes them like a material good. The blockchain is God. Their history. HFT, yeah. OK. Yeah, Billy's on the blockchain.

Yeah. Pieces of Billy are up for sale. NFT. Come on, Hank. You're the guy that I'm trusting in all of this and you can't even get the whatever the NFT means. Two out of three. Now, Hank was thinking high frequency trading, right?

Yeah. NFT is the whole when I said, how do I know this isn't a scam? You're like NFT. Right. Non-fungible tokens. Fungible. God damn it. We're living in the dumbest times.

GIF is worth now. All right. Let's people get so mad, by the way, when you just call it a GIF. Yeah. But that's that's what it is. Yeah, you're buying a GIF. It's a GIF. Right.

I mean, that's the thing. It's like trading cards. The concept of trading cards also sounds ridiculous. But with the trading card, you're buying a picture of someone. That's maybe that's really where the skepticism skepticism came from. It's there. Those are where I'm like, I don't want to see you get hurt because I do think there's a there's a little bit of a vibe and undercurrent in the office where

people think I'm about to get fucking rich. I don't think that's going to happen. I don't think I'm going to get rich. I think I'm going to be in the market. I'm going to be the real values. If you can get packs, you know, it's something you got to be in, in, in tune with getting the raffles, hope to get lucky. I need a pack.

I don't think I'm going to retire off this money. But I think, you know, I'm going to make this money work for me. Okay, here we go. Just listen to this rather than just, you know, this is the description of my GIF and that's why you hustle back on D Los Angeles Lakers fan favorite guard, Alex Caruso channels teammate LeBron James with this beautiful chase down block on James Harden of the Houston Rockets during their Western conference semi-final series on September 12th, 2020.

That sounds like it's worth at least 700. You should get Mark Jackson to read it. Juice. It's also by the way, PFT. It's also the only time you'll get an NBA finals game on September 12th. Good point. Yep. And, uh, and James Harden playing in a, what?

Semi-final actually like going for a layup in a semi-final instead of semi-finals. They're not finals game. Yeah. Instead of passing the ball, a playoff game in September 12th. What a moment. Yeah. Quick question. Juice set the price to sell it or is it a market price?

You have to sell. I don't know any price. Yeah. Don't ask too many. The algorithm does it. The quick way to get me back out of top shot is when you ask me questions that I can't answer and then I feel dumb again. So please no more questions at this time.

Okay. Let's do a hot seat, cool throne. And we've got two interviews coming up and then some good segments and guys on chicks to the other side. Hank, hot seat, cool throne. Um, my hot seat is Grand Theft Auto. Uh, Illinois lawmakers, they want to ban Grand Theft Auto because there's been a spike in carjackings in Chicago.

What? This, this is like, you know, boomer. This is like 1992. All over again. 17 years too late. Right. And this one. Yeah.

I know this is Marilyn Manson. This is the Marilyn Manson thing where it's like he listening to his music makes you violent. Yeah. Um, my other hot seat is Oklahoma football. Took a tough, tough, tough look for the entire program. A much bigger Oklahoma football player getting smoked. Also, you know, good thing for MMA, like a good advertising for MMA.

Short Kings, you know, you can beat up the big bad bully. Yep. If you just do some MMA training. Do you think, so the video, if you haven't seen it, um, was essentially bar fight porn. Yeah. Ben, Ben, like a, you know, every day, Ben Askren versus like the big bad college football bully.

So do you think that there's part of the team, I was wearing a turtle neck was perfect. Yeah. The, the, the part of the football team is like, he's a, he's a placeholder, right? He's always, he's a wide receiver slash holder. Holder, yeah. It definitely hurts the Oklahoma football brand to be like, watch this

Oklahoma football player get beat up. It's like, but he's a placeholder. He's a specialist. Right. He is a specialist. So he, the, the actual fight, the way it went down, there should have been a lot of red flags that came up for the holder. Yeah.

One, the kid that he was fighting, he just had wrestler's hair. That's, that is a wrestler haircut and a wrestler smirk. Yep. You should be able to, I could spot that a mile away. Two, he's already bleeding and he's smiling with the blood and he's happy. Three, he's wearing cowboy boots, no cowboy hat. That is, that's the opposite of what I'm doing. Like if you see me in a bar, you want, like I am the perfect person for you to

fight, right? But if you see a guy who's wearing just the boots, not trying to show off with a cowboy hat, that dude is in, he will, he will fuck you up. He will throw you into a grain combine. Four, when he said, when he turned to his buddy and said, which one do you want? Yeah, that should have been a quick de-escalation. My bad guys, because that was a line out of the Steven Segal movie where they just start ripping people's hearts out of their chest.

Five, and most importantly, do you look like he's on steroids? Cauliflower ears. Yes. That is the number one. Well, yeah, that, that is, that's actually boy. Yeah, that's actually. Yeah, so you might not have been able to see his ear, though. Yeah, I didn't actually see the call.

People said cauliflower ear. I didn't see the cauliflower. You just assume because of that hair, I assume. That's like the oldest, that's the oldest rule in the book. Like if a guy has cauliflower ear, stay far away. Well, we actually discussed this, I think a few years ago on the podcast big cap, but it would be a great business idea for a clinic to open up that would give you cosmetic cauliflower.

That's what they should do for the simp, kid. Yeah, we call it, was it Beethoven? Yeah. Who went deaf? Yes. Yeah, he got his ears boxed in, called Beethoven's. Yeah, called Beethoven's. Come to Beethoven's and you look tough as fuck.

Uh, so wait, those are hot seats. Those are my hot seats. My cool throwing is Bobby Schmurda. Oh, rapper got a jail today. Sure. The cap fell. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Uh, so big day, big day for rap. Mm hmm. Yeah. Huge day. I mean, we've been. Cool throwing the Schmurdi dance. We've been waiting for this day. The baby didn't die, did he?

No. Okay. Somebody started that rumor on Billy's Twitch stream last night. What? Yeah. JoJo see what might come after him. So that could happen soon, but. Okay.

My best to baby story that I always tell is that I saw him landing a helicopter in a strip club parking lot. Wait, do you have multiple? No, that was to baby. Do you have multiple to baby stories? No, that, yeah, that's my best one. My, my second. Why is he a multiple?

No, my second best one is right now when I got to baby confused a little baby. It's a little big. Uh huh. Not a good story. What's the difference between them? One is dull, one is little. Okay. I'm pretty sure I saw it to baby.

I don't think little baby could afford a helicopter landing in a strip club parking lot. Yeah. That's a baby. Oh, is it little baby's way bigger? Okay. That's confusing. You would understand why like the littlest baby being bigger than

dull baby, dull baby. There's only one. He is the baby. I think it's a little baby. There's a lot of little babies. There's a THA baby too. Whoa. Okay.

What about big baby? That's clondivous. He's retired. Yeah. Okay. Uh, all right. PFT. Uh, my hot seat is Daniel Snyder, the owner of the Washington football team,

because it sounds like Jeff Bezos, the richest man in the world, wants to buy the Washington football team, wants to become the majority owner of the team. So there's some reports. There's a lot of, you know what there is, there's a ton of scuttlebutt out there. There's chatter. Yeah. There's a lot of chatter that Jeff Bezos has been in discussions with different financing groups, although I don't know why we need to like involve anybody else

in this process. If none of them pay cash, they all, they all just get financing. I guess so. But like that's kind of a beta move. If you're the richest person in the world and you choose like waste time financing a sale when you could just like write one check, hand it to him. I don't know if he could. I never understand this stuff.

When I see people with, with roses in their Twitter username being like, if Jeff Bezos just emptied out his savings account, he could, you know, cure world hunger. I don't think that's how it works. So he, I don't think he's liquid. Like that, right? Well, he's like top shot. He's got a bunch of cards. Some of those tax, I think actually if he did get liquid, it would like crumble the

world's markets. Right. Yeah. No, that I think that part's real. Like if he went to the bank and he was like, I'll take 80 billion dollars. And he also wants to like, if he's like, I want to sell all my stock and cash out everything. Yeah.

I think the whole world. Okay. So, so yeah, it does make sense that he would have to involve other people. And why use your money when he can use other people's money. Right. You don't get rich by not borrowing when interest rates are at historic low. Correct. So he's trying to buy the Washington football team allegedly.

Dan Snyder said he's not going to sell. I believe he's never, I believe him too. But if Jeff Bezos, who is the richest man in the world wants to pay like six, seven billion dollars for an NFL franchise, if Dan Snyder doesn't want to sell still at that point, you're going to see all the owners, all the rest of the owners in the league try their very best to push Dan Snyder out because that will make all their franchises increased by like another billion dollars. So like these dudes, these rich dudes, they'll band together and they'll act as

one when it's in all their interests. But when there's like 30 other dudes that are going to benefit and Dan Snyder is not, they're going to turn on Dan Snyder so quick. But the problem is Dan Snyder probably knows some shit about every single owner that he could then just release. Yeah. And Dan Snyder does feel like one, if you had to make a list of spite owners, he's probably at the top of it.

So I would agree with you if we were talking about Jerry Jones. But Dan Snyder, I don't think he's smart enough or the people that he would hire to collect dirt on other people, I think would just end up being yes men and not do they just end up playing basketball and doing cocaine off each other's bodies. OK, but here's another counterpoint, though, if you're Jerry Jones, Dan Snyder being in the division, you want to keep that there. It's well, rather having Jeff Bezos own a team and like put robots in charge of everything and automate it and win all the games.

And Jeff Bezos would have access to all the Amazon Web Services next gen stats. That would be a great scouting department. So I I will say I would much rather have. I really want Jeff Bezos to own the football team. I think everyone wants to spend my dream. It would effectively put an end to my dream of one day owning the team. But I would accept this and I would I would go far as to say I will only shop. I will only consume things that I buy from Amazon.

Jeff Bezos, so Jeff, that's another three thousand dollars in your pocket for the next year. That's a great rate, a calendar year. It's your call, Jeff. Do you want my money or not? Yeah, court me, Jeff. My cool throne is accountability because the kid apologized to Cam Newton, the kid from the seven on seven, huh?

Said he was like the wheels are in motion. Said he was very sorry about it. And now Cam's going to mentor him. Cam might bring him under his wing. Cam's absolutely going to meet up with this kid. You think? Yeah. No, so I looked into this. Cam Newton talks a lot of shit at these seven on seven camps like a ton.

So honestly, if the key was talking shit to that kid and that kid came back at him. Take what you dish out. Yeah, I don't feel bad for Cam anymore. I actually think that the real problem here is seven on seven football. I think that the kids, the kids not afraid of getting pancake by defensive tackle. And then he just he learns that there are no consequences in life. Next thing you know, he's talking shit to an all pro quarterback. No, seven on seven is beautiful.

It gives you the reps in the passing game. Yeah, if you hate if you hate linemen, but when you hate the real beauty of the game like us. Well, it's extra on top of that. Seven on seven is a beautiful concept. I don't know about that, Billy. I love seven on seven. You don't like running. You don't like a power rushing attack. He doesn't like being rushed. Well, that's a different you can.

There's sometimes not game modes, but like formations where it's solely running. I like old school football with big uglies up front. I like what I like Wisconsin versus Stanford games with army watching. Yeah, in the stands. Army, yeah, army providing security. Yes, seven on seven is awesome. Yeah, so I think that it is going to happen. I think Cam is going to absolutely reach out to this kid, take him under his wing.

But still, if I were Cam, that that was your one chance to just clock a kid. Yes. And no one would ever blame you. And I honestly, I had this debate over the weekend. I've been thinking a lot about it. I think that I could beat up any 10 year old in the country. Probably the world world. I don't think that there's a 10 year old in the world. Who's ass I can kill. OK, so no, I already disagree.

Yeah, I just know it's Instagram. Have you seen a 10 year old? No, all right. So I'm going to throw some out there. I'm going to throw some. I saw this kid boxing in the military. Yeah, I didn't Google image search of world's strongest ten year old. OK, all right. And there's still a little bit. Let me just throw this out there.

We've had Aaron Donald on the show. Last time didn't go so well. We had DK Maccalf on the show, who's great. Those guys both said that they were benching insane amounts of weight at 10 years. Not a 10 year. Let me throw another one at you. Could be. I'm stronger. Could be was wrestling bears when he was like seven. But they were the friendly bears that there's a there's a kid.

Bears in Russia are like this. There's girls on college campuses. They're so or Turkistan or one of the stands that could kick your ass. Not not a 10 years old. I think I could beat up any 10 year old in the entire world. They're they get small little bones. I'd outweigh almost all of them, if not all of them. Now, once you bump it up to like 12, then there are a ton of those kids

that could kick my ass because Kendrick Perkins, kid, pre pre puberty. I could defeat any 10 year old in the world. How old is Kendrick Perkins kid? That kid's a fucking other kicker. The viral video from last January, he was in second grade, which means he'd been taller than you in second grade. How their grade is like, wait, how tall is he? He's tall. He's like five, 10 in second grade.

Yeah, he's he's enormous. But he doesn't have the aggression. He's a 10 year old. I think he might. No, no, he's put it in him. No, I would kick Kendrick Perkins. His son's ass. He was. Oh, my God, this is January. So he's nine now. Dude, this kid might be older than 10, though.

This kid would fuck you up. But even even if he's older than 10 a year ago, he would fuck him up. No, no, because then that's when you really hit your growth. I want to be honest, a 10 year old wrestler could definitely take you down. Absolutely not. But you look like the you look like the. I'm way better at wrestling than I am at fighting. I would I would I would submit that kid. I would smother him. This kid would fuck you up.

I would put I would put him in a fucking full Nelson, make him cry for his mom. All right, my hot seat. Not that I want to do any of that. But I'm saying like if it's if it's like, you know, Andy Kaufman was the intergender wrestling champion of the entire world. Like I could be the the child, the child man, a boxing champion of the world. I mean, people forget I am actually

the belt holder in women's arm wrestling. Yeah. So yeah, it's not not a brag. It's a fact. I won the belt fact. Strong man, strong. It felt like she actually said that to me after she's like, you feel like a big strong man now. I was like, yeah, yeah, I do like totally. I got a belt.

All right. Hot seat us. Barack Obama and Bruce Springsteen have a podcast. I think this is the end of I think this is the end of the bubble. Yeah. Is it actually is it actually called born in the USA? I don't know. But that would be a great name for it. If it's in a great troll by Barry. Yeah. The it is the end. It's the end of the bubble.

I would say wouldn't you put it out there? Like if you had to if five years ago, I asked you, what would be the apex of podcasting? I think it'd be Barack Obama and Bruce Springsteen doing a podcast. And his fucking show came out on the same day as my new show. What are those guys even talk about? Like, so you're really rich. Yeah. I think the first one they did like a deep dive on Alex Jones.

Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah. What if that's what it was? And Obama was like, well, ah, he was right. Yeah. And you're right. You're right. Fuck, that's I saw it. Oh, man. Then my cool throw is Bartol Colón, because he hit a fucking dinger and didn't touch home plate, but that doesn't matter.

Yeah. He talks about it with Whitney, but like the the settings and the aesthetics of that home run made it a million times better. They're in the middle of a jungle. Yes. Bartol Colón is going to be like a folk hero. I hope we just get these videos from him every three years for the next 40 years. He already is. Come back.

Oh, he might be able to come back. I bet you could. I bet you could give you some innings. Was that was that his interfamily annual baseball game? I got to do the Turkey Bowl. It's just his secret family versus real one. Yes. Billy, go ahead. My hot seats, Meek Mill.

Vanessa Bryant is very angry at Meek Mill for some of his leaked lyrics. And those lyrics are cool. Top it, Billy. What? No, go off. Yeah. And if I ever lack, I'm going out with my chopper. It'd be another Kobe. So he's in very hot water for those lyrics. And El Chapo's wife has been arrested for drug charges. Billy. What'd she do?

Billy's learning, by the way. Billy's learning that if he just picks the least funny topics, we won't steal him. That's true. That's very true. Meek Mill has made insensitive remarks about Kobe Bryant and Kobe Bryant's widow grieving widow is upset. That is my topic. What if Billy became our Tom Rinaldi?

He did like every sob story just so that we couldn't make fun of him for it. Yeah, genius. You know, by the way, El Chapo's wife's mug charge. Yeah, hot. Yeah, pretty good. Hot. Can you say that? No, you know, you can't. You look, dude, you live like right next to El Chapo, don't you? Attractive. Oh, yeah.

He isn't. Is he still in Brooklyn? No, they probably I think they sent him out to the. They sent him out to the Alcatraz of the Rockies. Yeah. Remember that? He's in like Denver or something. No, respectfully. I think he's listen, it's hard to look in a mug shot. She looked good.

My cool throne is also probably ride or die. Yeah, you think? Yeah. I don't think there's there's no more rider. I think that's actually the option. Yeah, you either ride or you die. True. She's right. My cool throne is Stephen Adams. He recently has moved to New Orleans and is taking up work,

work farming worms. He says it completes the cycle. He bought five pounds of nightcrawler worms, and he now estimates to have over 20 pounds of worms, which he uses to recycle his food leftovers. OK, he says that the recent cold snap has been really terrible for production, but he says that he's really enjoying his new home in New Orleans.

OK, that's great. I would imagine that the Stevens Adams families, Steven Adams family that lives in New Zealand would be like Billy would probably worship them as gods because they're all like I think they average somewhere between six foot seven and six foot ten in height. Yeah, they're all like 300 pounds and his sister even is one of the bigger ones because she's strong as shit.

She's a shot putter in the Olympics. And so it's a family of like nine giants that just roam the plains of New Zealand and they do cool stuff with animals. I feel like that that's like your ideal situation. That's pretty awesome. Yeah, we should. I want to introduce you to your heaven. We actually do need to get Steven Adams on the show. He's been one of the people that we've wanted on forever.

And you show down to earth. Yeah, such a show. Oh, yeah, it's literally a worm for you. You can't be more down to earth. Right. That's yeah. It's very good. It's how many Kate Upton boobs, Billy. All right, here we go.

Let's get to our interviews. We got Max Homa first and we have Erin Foster. Hello, Fresh. You got to check out Hello, Fresh. Hello, Fresh cuts out. What about Jake? We sometimes do it, sometimes don't, depending on how long it goes. Depending on the show. Yeah, I'm always ready. Yeah, but no worries.

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Some people are calling it the fifth major, one point six, seven million dollars. Now, we had to restart the zoom call, but I got to ask again for the people. You give your caddy what 10 percent? Have you have you thought about maybe bumping it up because he gave you a little extra? Oh, no. Are you kidding me? Are you still there? I'm here.

Oh, OK, the computer changed. The computer changed. You're still there. I feel like I should be talking like this. So yeah, no, you actually sound way better this time. But the computer just OK. All right, we got you. All right.

One point seven million. Your caddy did get you out of that tree shot, right? So you're not going to give him a little more than 10 percent. Yeah, like I'm just not probably I may buy him a beer. But yeah, I love Joe. Yeah, I love Joe. But unfortunately, he agreed to 10 percent. He should he should have agreed to like 10 percent plus.

But I think I think he's fairly happy. So I think we'll be all right. Yeah, it's a decent payday for him. And everybody was rooting for you. I don't think that I mean, obviously, you know, Tony is a very likeable guy and a lot of people are pulling for him, too. But like at least on my Twitter feed, I saw just a bunch of people that have gotten to know you from Twitter, just very excited to see you

excelling like this. And you've been playing really good golf the last several weeks. So it was it was awesome to see when who was the coolest person that you saw wish you congratulations. Was it Big Cat or Aaron Rodgers? Oh, oh, oh, it's tough. No, it's not. You got to pick one. You got to pick one. It's not tough, Max.

Just say Aaron Rodgers. Yeah, it was definitely Aaron Rodgers. Fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. He didn't mean it. No, he didn't mean it. He did not mean it. He just said it because it was cool to say he didn't fucking mean it. It totally sounded like he meant it.

I actually didn't congratulate you. I just said, let's go. Fair. Kind of congratulated me by telling me I'm no longer a man. I took your man card. You were crying on national television. I know. So embarrassing. Yeah. So all right.

So the 18th, I want to talk about that real quick. My theory is you fucked up that putt because at some point in a tournament, you at least have the thought pop in your head like, man, I've roast a lot of people on Twitter. What wonder what they're saying right now is that is there any truth to that? Yeah, that's that's 100% what I was thinking. I was like, I feel like I'm a philanthropic guy. I got to give some back to the community.

Here's a here's all a branch of me sucking. And you guys can all just have fun with it. Also, I think about this yesterday, the Dodgers took, I don't know, six years to figure out how to put together with a lot of, I don't know, relatable moments like that. So I was like, oh, maybe I'll throw in throwing one more just absolute blunder and see if I can get myself out of it. Yeah, I mean, you did overcome that adversity.

And after you missed that putt, I was just like, oh, no, there's no way that this is happening because you got to be able to bounce back like super fast. How long did you give yourself to be like upset and mad at yourself for missing that putt? And how long did it take you to like snap back in and be like, OK, I can do this. I can actually win the tournament. Yeah, it was weird. I actually got out of it pretty quick.

I kind of laughed. I told my I told Joe, I choked and he's like, no, you're good. Like, we'll go win it on in the playoff. So kind of didn't it didn't sit with me. I was just more I was more like embarrassed because like Tiger Woods is up there on the hill. He's about to give out the trophy and he's like the clutchest human ever. So I was like, man, you know, that's not a great look in front of in front of him.

But I don't know. I felt so calm yesterday. It was it was hard to it was hard to lose like that edge I had. And even one, you know, one bad putt didn't feel like it's changed everything to me. And it was pretty fun to I never been in a playoff before. So I had to kind of see what that was like. You know, I just got to test the waters. Yeah, you you should actually give your catty more just because him saying like, oh, no, you're good because you did choke.

That was a choke putt. Hell, yeah, I said I tweeted right away. I was like, oh, no, Max, how the hell can you come back on Twitter? Like, if you lost that, I mean, oh, yeah, you get it down. There is that part of it. So does it ever think you ever think about like, is your mind wander at all playing 72 holes? Like, are there times when you're playing and you just are thinking about something else?

Or is it laser focus? It's impossible to have laser focus for 72 holes, right? No, dude, I have I never break my focus. No, I'm just playing. I I spaced out. I definitely didn't think I will say I guess this is a this is good for me. Because typical guy would I did not think about getting roasted on Twitter after I choked on 18. However, I do think about that at times when I hit like a really bad shot.

I'm like, oh, no, I mean, I've I've put myself out there. Like I unfortunately deserve it. Yeah. So I was I never thought about that. But yeah, had I lost it, that would have been a long I think I just have to unsubscribe from Twitter. I might just have to become like a tick tock influencer or something. No, I think the move is if that ever happens, if you ever find yourself in that situation, I think you come back on Twitter right away and you just start talking about something totally different. Who's pumped for this Nets Clippers game tonight?

Yeah, just ignore it. That's the way to deal with it and just let everyone else because people will roast you no matter what. But if you play into it being like, no, I'm I'm here to just tweet every fucking dribble of this game. They'll catch on and then you become a hero again. That's actually a really good angle. Yeah, just become like the sports better guy on Twitter. Be like, I love the net plus minus six and a half tonight. It's a lock of the century five star play.

That's actually it's a genius idea to become a sports tout because then every bet that you miss, that's what people are talking about, like, wow, naturally sucks at gambling. Everyone forgets about the fact that you missed that put on a loser. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. The shot, the tree shot, you alluded to it earlier. When I saw the ball next to the tree, I was like, if I was Max, I would say that it's impacted that the ball is just sunk into the ground. Maybe call over rules official after you already move it.

How does that play out? Like when you're talking about the strategy with your caddy, how do you guys decide what to do in that moment? That's a great question. Yeah. Didn't think it plugged. Didn't really try that angle. He didn't really know what I was trying to do. He thought I was just trying to hit it like right at the green and then like,

hopefully make a long putt or chip it in or whatever. And I had this weird feeling I was going to be able to hook it. So we kind of talked it out, but on shots like that, I feel like in that situation, it was kind of like, you just got to trust me a little bit. And I don't know how to explain what I'm about to do, but it might be cool. So just, I don't know. Just trust me for once. Yeah. I like that. Send it.

So you said that was the first time you were in an overtime playoff. Did you talk to Tony Finau after? Like there's just a quick handshake and that's it? Or do you see him after in the clubhouse or anything? Uh, no, I didn't get to talk to him. I mean, I like Tony. Tony's like, like you said, PFT is like a fan favorite and a player favorite. He's the greatest dude.

And I know he's not had a lot of luck winning. He's played some amazing golf. So I felt his pain a little bit, but I didn't, you know, there's not a lot to say at that point. But I mean, he's an insanely good golfer. I was fortunate, obviously, to come out. Yesterday on top, but I mean, it was, it's weird. It's weird. Like when you, I like golf, like when I, when I, I watch golf at home at times, I keep up with it

and root for somebody like Tony all the time, then all of a sudden you're in a playoff with the dude and you kind of have to be in the front row seat. It's a, it's a, it's a kind of a weird juxtaposition. That is a big word for you. And, um, I don't know. It, uh, I did not suck. I'd be lying if I said, oh, I was really bummed out, but, uh, I mean, it was, it was a weird feeling. Well, and I asked that just because, you know, with golf, a lot of times the guy,

a guy will win and the person he's playing with is not even in the hunt. You know what I mean? Like you fall back or whatever. So it's not this like, Hey, we're actually shaking hands. I beat you one on one here. But when you get to the playoff, you do have that moment. It's got to feel a little out of the ordinary because that's not how it usually goes with golf. You beat the field.

It's not, oh, I just beat you one on one and now we're shaking hands. Yeah, it's like the, it's not like the, uh, who was a harbaugh and the coach of the lions. Jim Schwartz like chest bump. And yeah, that was sick. Yeah. Off needs more of that. Just have people body in each other. Yes.

I like that. Yeah. I'm all for that. And then you tweeted afterwards. He said, I spent over a dozen years trying to get Tiger to give me a high five at Riviera. And today he handed me a trophy. Haha. What a world.

Hashtag golf. First of all, great job using the hashtag golf. You are an expert on Twitter, obviously. And then second of all, did you get a high five from Tiger or did he, did he just give you the trophy? Uh, actually, I did not get a high five. I got, you know, the, the fist bump, um, but it was cool, man. Uh, yeah, the little tag golf, that is like the easiest way to get, I think,

attractions in the golf community. I got a podcast with my buddy Shane Bacon, uh, called get a grip. So we started this hashtag golf thing and it's like the dumbest, but simplest thing because I mean, you on anything, if you just be like, Hey, uh, Christian Yelch hit a home run, like hashtag baseball. The normal people are going to think it's funny. And then like kind of the diehards, you're like, Oh, nice. I could search hashtag baseball and find this tweet about Christian Yelch's home run.

So, um, it was kind of one of those things where it's like, I came full circle. I've watched that dude play at that golf course, like a million times. And then to be like standing on a green while he's like, Hey, congratulations. You won. And I was like, yeah, this is not, this is not how I saw all this going. Even as like a kid, it's still, it's, it was super surreal. Yeah. I would imagine so.

So I have to ask, can, can you win the masters this year? We're asking a lot of good questions every cat. Um, I think I have a better chance than I did last year. But so, but that was a zero chance. Yeah. So I think, you know, I talk about being 1% better. So maybe we're one, 2% now. I think we're climbing.

We're definitely trending. So you can, you can actually win the masters. I can win the masters. It's definitely possible. I'm just going to try super hard. Wait, are you in it? Do you, do you get invited? Yeah.

Because you won this tournament or no? Yes. Oh, so that, so what else comes with it? I love how this golf like, I love the, like if you win this tournament, then you get invited to this tournament. So what did you get outside of the $1.67 million not to brag? Yeah. Well, yeah.

I mean, the $1.67 million sweet. Um, I got, well, I won a car. Okay. Uh, I got into the tournament next, we are this week. So I got to, I got to fly out to Florida tomorrow. No, no, no, don't Puerto Rico. Don't, don't play. Don't want to win that.

Max. No, it's not Puerto Rico. It's the one that's the, um, like the, the main event. Okay. Puerto Rico is the other one. Okay, don't win that one. Yeah, I'm not playing on it. Do you guys actually talk about that?

Because we just learned about that last night. And so we're also, I was also wrong. I noticed that when you guys tweeted, I couldn't believe it. Cause it's been like a inside like golf world joke. And then Victor Hovland broke it this year. And it's been like a, it's been kind of like a known, untalked about thing for a while. And I saw you guys tweet about it.

And I was like, Oh no, this is getting a lot of traction. Yes. So you're not playing Puerto Rico. So you got a car. You got the next tournament. What else did you get? Um, I don't know. My wife got me Chick-fil-A today.

So that counts as like a bonus. Okay. That's great. Did you get, Oh, pretty good. Did you get like a parking spot at the golf course? Uh, yeah, I just have to carry around my own sign and put it up after I park.

Wait, do you get, do you get to do the, do you get to play in the Genesis open for life? Do you get like that? I got it. I'll text, I'll text my best friend Tiger now. And see, and see if that, yeah, see if I'm allowed now. Okay. How does that work when you win a free car?

Like, did you have to sit down and fill out paperwork yesterday in order to drive it home, get it registered? I haven't seen any paperwork. I'm starting to think I'm not getting it. The car is not real. Yeah. It seems like, hey, yeah. Maybe there's his bonus 10, outside of 10%.

He gets this fake car that I've been promised. Yes. Um, all right. So what, so the master's a couple of weeks or no, it's a couple of months away. Do you, are you in the US open now? Yeah. Fuck yeah, dude.

You're like a legit golfer now. Hell yeah. Is it too soon? I have this dream every year I have a New Year's resolution to be better at golf than I am at Twitter. And I really think I'm getting close. Yeah, I would say so. I would agree with you on that.

Is it too soon to start talking about the Ryder Cup? I don't think it's ever too soon, PFT. We might as well get the buzz out there. They give captain's picks. So I could start my plea for a captain's pick. Give it a shot. See, you know, you got to, you got to throw some bait out there and just see if a captain stricker will,

will kind of saddle himself up with me. But I don't know, that'd be a, that's one that wasn't really on my radar until like late last year. And now that'd be crazy. There's buzz. That's crazy. You know, there's, there's, you know, there's a little buzz. I think we got a little, we got a little traction.

So hopefully keep playing some good golf. But right now, just kind of got to keep doing the same stuff I've been doing because it's been, it's been working pretty well. I think it's fair to say you are playing the best golf of anybody on tour right now, right? You just won. Yeah, it's technically speaking. I am.

What about that? I'm playing the best golf. What have you done for me lately, League? Yeah. Yeah, I forgot to practice today. So I guess maybe somebody practice today. Now they're ahead of me. I don't know how that.

Yeah. What have you done for me lately? Crew would think right now, but I get to play this week. So I can stay on pace and hopefully, I mean, I'm sure if I shoot only one under on Thursday, I'll get yelled at for sucking. But that's kind of that comes with the territory. Yeah. What about the approach shot that you hit on 18?

Because I don't think that people are talking enough about that because you stuck that within two and a half feet. You won the tournament. You just, you didn't know you were going to choke it away. But that shot was the clutchest shot that no one's going to talk about from now on. Like you kind of got a little bit jipped on that. That should have been your signature moment. Yeah.

I'm pretty sure I screwed that up myself. I'm kind of glad they're not talking about this shot as much because then they'd have to talk about what happened right after that shot. So back to the, you know, taking attention away from the choking part. Yeah. I don't really mind that they're avoiding the 18 pole fiasco. Yeah. Okay.

Well, wait, are you in the open championship now? I'm looking at you. You are. You're in all this shit. How does that work? What did you trigger? It's, is the Genesis open? Terry, that much?

No, no. It's, it's world, it's world ranking stuff. Got it. So you're 38th ranked right now. And that bumped you up to a point where now you're in all these tournaments. Basically, I think you got to be top 60 and there's not enough time for me to get out. I don't know. There's something like that.

Okay. So you're in. So you can't possibly screw it up. I was going to just recommend you, you stop playing. Yeah. If you miss every cut, you're still in. That's what you're saying. Hopefully.

I'll do the math. And if that's possible, I might just sit at home for a few weeks. Yeah. That's what I do. Probably why we're not like elite athletes, but that's mean big cash mentality. Yeah. We're just trying not to drop in the rankings. Nobody moved.

Yeah. We got to this point. Yeah. I'm with that. I like that. All right. Max, my last question was, since we've had you on last, the Dodgers had a big free agent signing, whichever Bauer, are you a little nervous though that you now are the second

biggest dick on Twitter in the Dodger community? That's, yeah, maybe. I saw I got in a fight the other day with Noah Cindergaard, but I liked that fire. Trevor went to my rival high school, so I grew up hating how good he was at baseball. So it's nice to be on his team now. It feels good, but I guess the Dodgers got a little better. This one feels kind of dirty, but I'll take it. Yeah.

No. I mean, we've had Trevor on a couple of times. People don't like him. I think he's funny and fascinating. He seems awesome. Yeah. I mean, he's different. He's just like literally an internet troll that's great at pitching.

Right. And so that irritates a lot of people, but I think he's genuine about it. He's like, yeah, I think he even told us like, I just do it for the Laws. Yeah. And hearing somebody say that in real life, you're like, dude, you are a sentient Reddit account right now. Right. You're just the biggest troll.

You're online. But he said that out loud. Yes. He said that to us. He said those words. So you can't like, yeah, you can't hate on him. It's like he's, he is a guy who was built to be an internet troll as a living. He just so happens to be able to throw a baseball really well.

I need to, I need to put that into my like everyday jargon. It's like, I'm just kidding. No, you don't. No, do not. You don't. It didn't sound cool when he said it. Yeah. No.

You just become like part electronics. Yeah. Do not do that. Yeah. Okay. That's fair. You know what? You're, you're right now, you're, you're like still a little drunk off the victory

that you're like, I could do this. I could start saying laws and people would be cool with it. Don't. We'll, we'll be your sober test here. Yeah. No. I think, yeah, when you're, when you're, when you got the hot hand, you just think you kind of do anything.

That's why I got friends like you guys that tell me what I can, cannot do. Yeah. I think you, I think you'll find your way. You've got a good head on your shoulders. I do have two more questions though. Like things that I'm always interested about golf tournaments. When you win them, I'm always curious about the big checks. Did you get a big check?

So I didn't. I got one, uh, from the, uh, when I was on the web.com tour and it was awesome. I was like, Oh, this is so cool. And like I, I did not get one. I was bummed. That sucks. I would, I would demand, but we can send you a big check. I would rather have the 1.67.

Like that is a big check. It's all. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. So wait, is that direct deposit or how does that work? Yeah.

Tomorrow I think at like 8am or something. That's crazy. And then I can't wait. Yeah. That's just a refresh of your bank account. Like, Oh, there it is. Oh yeah. Do you have, do you have notifications set up when stuff hits your account?

You got to set that up because that's going to be a big one. Oh yeah. I got what it's incoming. I got a little notification, slow ding and you're like, Oh, okay. Tomorrow is going to be like, okay. That'll be a great day for you. And then the other thing is they kept calling it your home course. How many home courses do you get as a golfer?

Cause I, I feel like I've heard of Tiger Woods having like three different home courses. Yeah. Uh, you get a lot. I would say that Riviera is definitely not my home course. I wasn't even allowed to play there until my team played national championship in college when I was like 21. So definitely not my home course just from there. But I think in golf, they definitely throw that around.

I'm pretty sure I live in Arizona now. I'm pretty sure they'd say I have three home courses here. I probably got four in LA and probably one random one somewhere else where like, maybe I played when I was like a kid or maybe my uncle played one time. So golf, they definitely, we got a lot of bad, we got a lot of bad little sayings and there's a lot of bad stuff going around about, you know, Hey, he's so big. He could be a football player in the NFL or, um, you know, it's his home course. And you're like, well, he, you know, he's been here three times in his life.

So we got to golf is kind of corny, but I don't know, they're doing their best. I love that stuff. So that's, that's the interesting part of it. Does anyone have the masters Augusta as their home course, Freddie couples? Probably Freddie couples. I think for a while it was Vaughn Taylor, Charles Howell. I think they say it was his home course. I'm not sure if that's true, but that's pretty sick.

Yeah. It was Jack's home course. Right. Well, yeah, you could just say that. Condoleezza Rice. It's Condoleezza Rice's home course. Patrick Reed. It is Condoleezza Rice's home course.

I'm going to start, I'll start saying it. It's my home course. I got a better chance now winning if it's my home course, you know? Yeah, I still don't think you have a good chance, but. I have a chance though. And you just got to remember that. But do you? But do you?

He does. Yeah, I definitely have a great chance. I'm going to bet on you and you better not let me down. I did bet on you and you let me down. Well, all right. Just make sure you chirp at me if I do let you down. But if I win. Wait, no, no, no.

Hold on, Max. I didn't even bet on you to win. I bet on you to fucking make the cut. Oh, I got, I apologize. I set the bar low and you still went under it. Yeah, you know, that was, that was a limbo of a lifetime to miss a cut after, after all that. But hey, I don't know.

I can only go up from here. So that's kind of good. All right. I'm a believer. I'm just, you know what? You need someone in your camp to be like, hey, you have no chance. So that way you can't have ever a yes man. Yeah, right.

Yeah, you got to have people hold you accountable, give you bullets and board material. I mean, that's important stuff. Yeah. So there you go. Zero percent chance and I will be betting on you. All right. Well, Max, thanks man.

We really appreciate it. And good luck in Florida, not Puerto Rico, right? Don't, don't worry about it. You're not Puerto Rico. Hell no. All right. Good luck next weekend in, in Florida. And we'll, we'll talk to you before the masters.

Yeah. Congratulations. All right. Sounds good. Yeah. Thank you. You guys are the best. Appreciate you.

All right. See you man. That interview with Max is brought to you by our great friends over at Simply Safe. If you've got 30 free minutes, you never have to worry about a break in at home ever again. That is how quick and easy it is to set up a security system from Simply Safe. It's the kind of thing that's so easy to do. You can do it during a Netflix binge. You can do it watching the game or listening to a certain podcast.

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Okay, we now welcome on our good friend, Arian Foster. You can subscribe to Macrodosing with PFT now. It is out on where you can get podcasts. It comes out every Tuesday talking conspiracy theories, all kinds of cool stuff. We're going to do a Mount Rushmore of sports conspiracy theories. Before we do that, Arian, can I ask you real quick, do you still know anyone in the Texans organization,

and holy shit, is that a disaster? I do know people still there, and I do agree that it's a disaster, man. Yeah, the Jack Easterby guy. He's quickly become one of my favorite people in all sports just because he's very clearly resputing, right? Like he, I don't think he has any discernible talent. I watch a stand-up, actually. He is very funny doing stand-up, being like,

hey, have you ever noticed that people from California are like this, and then people from Texas are like this? It's pretty high-level shit. I love that guy. You got a stand-up? Yeah, you haven't seen it? I have not seen this. Oh my God, I got it.

Can we put a clip of the stand-up in here, Hank? Sure, you're going to have to send me your favorite line. But then you go up to New York, right? You go up to New York, and you walk in the stadium, as soon as you walk in the stadium, what you looking at? What are you looking at? Well, I'm looking at the game. I mean, there's a game.

What are you looking at? What's up, kid? What you looking at? Son, not your kid, not your son. Just here for the game, bro. Like, chill out, man. It ain't that serious, right? And then where I'm at, like in Boston, right?

Everybody says this phrase, and then she's just like, yo, we got to go pop the car. Like, we got to do what? What are you talking about? We got to go pop the car. It's amazing. So, yeah, he's like a stand-up comedian, but he's just like a guy that got the ear

of the entire organization, and they just kind of turned it all over to him. Do you know anybody that works with Jack Easterby? No, the first time I heard of him was actually when Andre Johnson sent that tweet out, and I got like thousands of like, yo, look at this, because Dre don't really talk that much. And so they were, everybody's like,

Jack Easterby has to go. And I was like, who the fuck is Jack Easterby? And I had no idea who he was. I had never met him, never heard of him, and I guess he's like, I don't even know what his job title is, but I guess he's like running shit. I have no idea.

He went from like, yeah, like team chapel to basically calling all the shots. I mean, if you're, I guess, if you're gonna do it, that's the guy to do it. I have no idea. So he's very awkward. He's an extremely talented cod man from what it sounds like, so I respect that.

All right, so in the spirit of macro dosing, we're gonna do our favorite sports conspiracy theories. We all have one, then we'll pick the top four. So who, how do we wanna start? Who do we wanna start? You wanna start PFT? Let's go, let's go PFT, Arian, Hank, Jake, Billy, and then I'll finish,

and then we'll pick our top four from there. Okay, my conspiracy is the Kurt Schilling sock, because there's actually like some smoke to that. There's some evidence that the blood on the sock was not actually blood. It was what, game six of the 2004 ALCS, and he was pitching like with an obvious injury. I think that part was real.

I think that he had like a heel Achilles type injury that he had just gotten sutures on. But then his foot started to leak. It just like, it took over his entire sock. He was bleeding so badly, he would have had to have like a six inch gash on the back of his heel, and pitched through the game. What do you mean?

So yeah, this one, I feel like this is a, do you think that this, you actually think that it was a ketchup? I think that it was fake, yeah. I think that was fake. So then 2007, the play-by-play announcer for the Orioles was, or the color guy for the Orioles was Doug Mirabelli. And Doug Mirabelli said that it was paint,

that it was red paint that he put on the sock. He said that during a broadcast, and then Schilling was like, he got really pissed off about it. He was like, it wasn't paint, it was real blood, but they still haven't tested the sock. They need to, you know what? They have the sock, the whole thing has the sock.

You know what? So yeah, they should test it. They should say, if we test the sock and it's all blood, then Kurt Schilling can get in the Hall of Fame. Yeah. I'd be willing to do that. Yeah. Yeah, I think that it was,

there was probably like a little bit of blood on there. So there's probably like a kernel of truth to that conspiracy. But I do think that it's a shitload of paint that got put back there to make Kurt Schilling look like he was, you know, pitching his absolute balls off. Walk me through, so you're Kurt Schilling, going into the biggest game of your entire life against the Yankees in Yankee Stadium,

trying to make the greatest comeback. And like, you know, no one believes in you. Yeah. Your focus on the game, but you decide to think, let me, you know, take time in between innings to get some blood and put it on my sock, which is already injured. Like he was limping around.

He was clearly hurt. Yeah. What part of why would he do that? Makes you think that he would be thinking about this from a rational point. But that's also Kurt Schilling definitely got crazier. Yes. So that you can't be like fully, it's not today's Kurt Schilling.

But he was always a little bit crazy. So when Kurt Schilling got to Boston. I would say more independent thinker. One of the, yeah, he's a free thinker. Nothing's out of bounds. When he got to Boston, people forget, one of the very first things they did in Boston was he saw a drunk driver on the freeway

and followed that person home on the phone with 911, being like, yo, there's a drunk person on the road and I'm going to give you the location and I'm not going to leave until the cop comes up here. So that's, you can make that argument that like maybe if the person was going to be a danger to themselves or others, that it was a good thing that he did. I could hear that argument.

But then he went, he did a press tour afterwards and went on like every radio station in Boston was like, hey, I just I just knocked on this drunk driver last night. Do you want to interview me about it? So like he's always been a little bit off his rocker when it comes to that sort of shit. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. I mean, let's throw it in there. Yeah. That's, that's, that's the first one. And we're going to vote on the top four after this. So bloody sock game. What do you think about that one, Aaron? Do they have the sock still? Is that like really a thing?

Is the sock like somewhere? Yeah. Yeah. I think it's in the hall of fame. It's in Cooperstown. Yeah. The sock, they got to test the sock. Yeah.

They have to test the sock. That would be, I mean, it would be great theater to do like a big live stream of the sock being tested. So I'm telling you, like like Kurt Schilling in, if that, if that sock is real and his, his leg was leaking that badly during one of the most important playoff games in baseball history and he pitched that well, I say that, that should make the case for him to be in the

hall of fame on the song. Yeah. So I'd agree with that. All right. So go ahead. What was his injury? What was his injury that they said that caused him to bleed like that? So he had Achilles' ankle. Yeah. It was his Achilles' ankle.

He had just had like some sutures put in. So he had a real injury, but they said that it was the sutures that started to leak. I've never seen, I've seen some pretty gruesome foot injuries in my day. I actually survived one of my own. I've never seen a foot bleed like that from just stitches coming out. Loose angle tendon back into the skin.

Emergency procedure. So he had, so he had an Achilles, like a temp gas, I'm guessing a tear or a partial tear. But the team doctors also didn't, like it was, it was done at the last minute. So like they kind of, you know, hacked it together. Well, who, yeah. Which is why it was falling apart.

It doesn't seem like a team doctor thing to do. Like he went into the dugout and like Pedro Martinez rubbed some of the, some of that juice that they all sipped on over to try to give you more vitality. You remember that juice? I love, I love the conspiracy about that juice. Which juice? But so before game seven, when they passed around that cup,

they said it was whiskey. It was actually like a Dominican drink that is supposed to give you like more vitality and increase your testosterone. It's got like herbs and weird shit in there that's supposed to basically basically give you boners. Yeah. When you go out onto the field. So I don't know, maybe they rub that on it to help it out.

But that, I do think that that, that conspiracy theory is true. I think that there was paint at least mixed into the sock. Okay. So Arian, what's your sports conspiracy theory? We got one down. All right. All right. So it's kind of like a conglomeration of conspiracies,

but it's the same thing. So Michael Jordan's gambling thing, right? Because a lot of, a lot of things have manifested from it. So, so like the reason why he retired originally in 93 was because he got suspended for gambling. Right. And then a little bit more like deep was that his father actually died because he was a gambling debt.

Yeah. And so it's like, just, just the whole, the whole lore around Michael Jordan's gambling is, is intriguing. And that that caused him to retire from the league and play baseball. Yeah. The David Stern sat him down and was like, Hey, you, you have to take a step back because your gambling's out of control. I heard, I heard he got, well, I ain't heard, but how I heard the, how this

conspiracy goes is that they actually suspended him, but they just kept it under wraps because it would have been bad for the league. So the only thing that, that doesn't like, I wouldn't understand about that is that would eventually get out. Right. Like someone would talk about that. Like that would be, yeah, you would, I should have. Yeah.

Go ahead. Sorry. I should, I was, I was, I should, I should have prefaced it, but I don't believe this shit. But there's just so much lore around it. Right. It's, it's, it's intriguing. It's, it's one of those situations where Michael Jordan clearly loves to gamble.

His father was killed, murdered, and it was, you know, under weird, you know, circumstances. And then he, I, it feels like it's a, it's one of those conspiracy theories that there's enough like elements that are truthful that I don't think he was actually suspended or told to, to quit basketball because of his gambling. But there's enough around it that is true that lets you be like, okay, maybe this was actually true. Which is actually the perfect, like that's the perfect conspiracy theory.

Yeah. I think, I think the only way that he could have worked is if it was like David Stern and one of his like top assistants found out from somebody who was close to whoever Michael Jordan owed the money to, found out like the ridiculous sum that it might have been. And then he had a one-on-one meeting with Jordan, told Jordan, and he's like, just say that you're retiring, don't tell anyone else. And then Jordan just acted like he was retiring and came back after he paid

his debts off. Right. That, that possibly could have worked out. But yeah, it's, it was a bizarre set of circumstances for sure. And he clearly, I mean, he admitted himself. He had a, he had, he had a competition problem. He, that he was, he never gambling problem. He had a competition problem.

Totally different. Yes. Yes. That's what you, you, euphemism. I love it. Yes. Yes. All right.

Hank, your conspiracy theory. My conspiracy theory, just because I think this, this would be a great movie, especially if you involve the actual person, but Cal Ripken in the middle of his streak got in a fight with Kevin Costner, wasn't going to be able to play because Kevin Costner was looking up with his wife and the Orioles said there was a power outage and canceled the game to keep the streak alive. Yep. Yep.

That's a great one. All time conspiracy theory. And imagine if they got Kevin Costner to, you know, be in the movie. Yeah. To play it. Wait, would he play Cal Ripken? Cause he loves playing athletes. True.

That would be great if he played Cal Ripken. What if, okay. So that, that one, we had Cal Ripken on the show a while ago and we were told like, don't ask the question about Kevin Costner and his wife going into the interview. And we didn't know the conspiracy theory or maybe we had heard of it, but we definitely weren't going to ask him like, Hey, did you catch Kevin Costner fucking your wife during our interview? But they told us not to and he actually brought it up during the interview

because we were talking about like weird theories about his streak. And then he just volunteered all these reasons why it couldn't have been true. Like given the timeframe, like where Kevin Costner was at the time and like the time of the game. And there's reports like he was in the dugout when the power outage happened. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. But yeah, he claims that there are people,

although I'm sure that there were beat writers for the oil. Exactly. That would have had Cal Ripken's back. Exactly. The question is Aaron, do you think there's- And obviously the oils were involved. It's like orchestrated the power outage. Was there, is there any person you ever played with that had the power to be like,

I'm going to call the team and be like, we have to, I guess football is a lot different than baseball. But would you buy this at all in terms of how an organization is set up and a player having that type of power? No, because I think in order for that, maybe like a LeBron, right? Yeah. And he would have to like go to the head like somebody like that. But definitely nobody in football.

Football players are viewed differently than basketball players and even baseball players. You just have to have like an extremely, like everybody would have to be involved. Because there's television networks. There's just contracts. There's so much money involved. Like I don't think cats, especially with a helmet, don't have that much pool. Not even Matt Schraub? Maybe Matt Schraub.

Maybe. Yeah. Maybe Matt Schraub. I liked that one though. Shout out to my guy Matt. He just retired, man. Yeah. No, not necessarily.

He said, on part of my take, he's not officially retiring yet. He did say that. If he gets offered a contract, he might come back. Well, he got a fucking, he got a text from me for no reason. Yeah. You might have to take that back. Resin. Hit the thumbs down on that text.

I'm a screenshot and posted. I'm like, bro, this is a lie, bro. All right, Jake, you're- No, no, I had that. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. We are two boys are fighting. I had this pulled up in the night.

Yeah, he took one of mine and he took one of mine. All right, so go ahead, Jake. Jake, you go first. Jake, go ahead. I'm shaking the blackout super bowl between the hard balls. Billy, that's how it works. You have to be prepared with more than one. How do you not learn this?

There we go, Jake. So what was the conspiracy theory behind that? Oh, that it was a blowout and the NFL wanted to give some more time to get the 49ers back in the game. That's right. And it ended up kind of working. Yeah, it did. So was that the Beyonce halftime?

I don't know. All right, so wait. Now, Arian, let me ask this. Does the NFL have that type of power where they were, Roger Goodell could hit a switch and black out the super bowl just so that they could keep people watching and get the 49ers back in the game? They could.

I do think they could. But I don't know why they would. Why would you? Why would you do that? I was when I think about conspirators, I always think about the why, right? Like and when you start doing the they, the them, the then that's when it gets.

But I do think the NFL could. I mean, they literally covered up the flake. I don't know. They literally covered up concussion studies. Yeah. And try to hide that. Like, so it's not not. It's feasible that they would cover some shit up.

But I don't know about getting the 49ers back in the game. I don't know what that. Yeah. So how would that work, though? Like if you were Roger Goodell and you had, let's just say there was a big light switch in front of you at halftime and you saw that the Ravens were winning by double digits.

Like, would it occur to you to flip that switch, knowing that it's more likely if there's a longer halftime that the Niners are going to come out and play better in the second half? That doesn't make that much sense to me. Yeah. So the evidence to support that it was staged was that all of the, you know, dress rehearsals by Beyonce,

it took that exact same amount of power. The lighting has was tested time and time again. So for them to say like, oh, we didn't know who's going to draw this much power and cause an issue is like they, that's the number one thing they test. Right. And surge protectors. Yeah.

Right. So that was like one of the reasons why it's kind of like, you know, if it's 28 six in viewership is actually seriously tampering off. Let's black this thing out and then everyone be like, what's going on? Yeah. It was 28 six with 13 minutes left in the third quarter.

I wonder how many times that's happened in the Superdome too. Yeah. How many times have there been the lights have gone out and super? Because it does. The lights going out in a stadium is not crazy. That's how, you know, we've all watched a game where that has happened. Remember it happened the Monday night football game? I think it was the 49ers and the Steelers maybe.

I feel like it happens a lot in baseball because there's so many games that like at least once or twice a season. It's about as frequent as B delays. Right. Right. All right. Billy. Um, my conspiracy theory is going to be the Russian doping conspiracy that

actually has a lot more truth. So the Sochi Olympics, the Russians were swapping out their piss and doing all sorts of stuff to cover up their athletes doping. And this is the conspiracy part to gain nationalistic pride in order to invade Crimea, which there's a lot of evidence for the athletes were going to invade. No, but that would have been a sick plan. Putin was putting it together. Yeah.

Is this a conspiracy theory though? Is it real? Some conspiracies are true though. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Got to throw a lot of darts. So somebody had a great idea because we experiment with like playing some music

in the background of our podcast when we're talking. We think we're just going to play like the serious music when Billy starts talking because serious Billy came out on the podcast and he's got like all these theories and he's dropping big words and shit on us. He actually, he gave Aaron a little bit of perspective, didn't he, about what it's like to grow up as Billy football when you get pulled over by the cops for, uh, for driving too fast because you're listening to Led Zeppelin. That was crazy.

Absolutely. Yeah. That was, that was, I envy that, my brother. But, um, next time I get pulled over, I'm going to ask the officer, but you have any podcasts to recommend that I don't make this mistake again? Yeah. Yeah, I recognize Billy said he got pulled over because he was, uh, listen to Led Zeppelin driving too fast and the officer pulled him over and was like, wow, you listen to Led Zeppelin. Yeah. That makes me drive fast too.

Tell you what, uh, I recommend that instead of writing you a ticket, I'm just going to recommend that you start listening to podcasts instead while you drive. And Billy was like, thank you officer. And you let him on his way. That didn't happen. It did? That did happen. 100%.

Yes. 100% true. I got off. Okay. Uh, you didn't answer my question though. The whole story. What? Is true.

Yeah. It's a good story. Okay. How the hell would I get a podcast? It is a great story. How else would I get on the podcast? I got, I got pulled over. I was like, I don't want to get a speaking ticket anymore. So no more loud, fast music.

That's how we started listening to part of my take. Now I'm fucking here on this couch. All right. Mine is going to be, uh, the Ronaldo at, uh, the World Cup in France in 1998. So this is like a two-parter because Ronaldo was best player in the world, having a great tournament, had a seizure out of nowhere right before the final. Uh, and so some people think he was drugged. Some people think that, uh, he was, there's, there's, there's like so many layers

to this conspiracy theory. Some people thought he was drugged so that then, uh, Brazil wouldn't win, but then they got gifted the 2006 World Cup in like payment for it. And then on top of all that, he played in the game, played awful, France wins. They, there's a conspiracy theory that Nike, because they had invested so much in Brazil, the Brazilian team and Ronaldo as Nike athletes, that Nike forced him to play even though he was like less than 24 hours after a seizure. And Nike basically stepped in and was like, he has to play no matter what,

put him in the game and he was awful and they ended up losing. I could see Nike having that much power. I honestly think that Nike has more power than the NFL. It's also like a soccer conspiracy theories. I, there's so much shady shit that happens in the world of soccer that it really just lends itself to these things. Anything that's FIFA adjacent is definitely prime for some corruption. Right, right.

So that, that would be mine. All right. What, what are you going to say? Honorable mentions. Honorable mentions. Go ahead. The flu game Jordan was hung over. Okay.

Yeah. That's right. That when he explained like somebody came in with a pizza and then the pizza guy wasn't actually the pizza guy. That to me, that didn't. I wasn't him who explained it. That was his, his trainer guy. Yeah, his trainer.

I, I don't really buy that still. Okay. I think he might have, I think Jordan might have had some brown liquor and smoke too many cigars. The only reason that that like, wouldn't that even be more impressive? The hungover? Oh yes. I understand.

Yeah, for sure. Um, the, obviously the Ewing frozen envelope, which I love that one. I, I believe that one. 100% believe that one. NBA definitely has, there's a lot like where there's smoke, there's fire. There's so many. Right. The Tim, like 2002, Tim Donahue didn't ref that, but 2002, the Lakers versus the,

the Kings and basically getting the Lakers into the finals. Fixing LeBron's first championship. Oh, no. That's one. I didn't know that was one. What was that one? Easter conference finals against Celtics. They, they gave them a bunch of calls, made sure they won.

Okay. Okay. Yeah. After they, they were supposed, you know, they lost to the Mavericks. They got upset and they're like, we can't let this happen again. Yeah. What about the LeBron Delante West situation? I mean, that's just, I don't know.

Is that conspiracy? I don't know if that's technically conspiracy. Oh, I think that happened. Yeah, that might have just happened. Yeah. And also it was like kind of sad. Also hope Delante's doing well. Yeah.

Yeah. The, the Ali Sonny Liston fight, the Phantom Knockout. We know a little something about those on this show. Right, Billy? No comment. Can Seiko get? I did what I did. I'm not hip.

Billy got a Phantom Knockout. What happened? Yeah. He knocked out Jose Canseco, knocked him out, clean out. I hit him with two inside hooks and he went down and quit. They had a boxing match like two weeks ago. And Jose was getting paid a shitload of money to do it because we sold some pay-per-views for it.

And so Billy went in there and to Billy's credit, he fought him like straight up, hit him a few times. Jose quit after about 13 seconds fell down on the ground and just he faked an injury. He was like, oh, my, my pec hurts, my knee hurts, my shoulder hurts. I can't fight anymore. So he gave up after seriously about 13 seconds

in the ring with Billy. Bro, Billy got hands? Hold on. I do have hands. I do have hands. I have pretty heavy hands. I'm working on technique and quickness, but I got heavy hands.

Is there footage of this? Yeah, we can pull it up. We can pull it up. Yeah, I'll send it to you. Please send me this. Holy shit. I see you, Billy. Yeah, it's pretty great.

He fucked him up. Hank, you have any Roderick Adele related conspiracies you want to throw out there? The Flake Gate. I mean. Yeah, that's one of those like it's not really conspiracy. I'm surprised you didn't do that one, Hank. I was trying.

I know. I tried to. I figured I want to assume that I would. Yeah. So Arian Hank actually went to jail for Tom Brady, because when he was suspended, he did a little bit of civil disobedience in the NFL lobby. And basically, Hank cuffed himself down there

until he got actually arrested and put in jail. But, Hank, can you explain how the NFL fucked up the Flake Gate investigation? Because I don't know. I honestly don't know what you believe about that. Let me go back in the memories of time. Go for it. Let's go, Hank.

They came out with the Wells Report. That and then there was a lot of holes in that in the Wells Report. And they conducted this big internal investigation that took months and months and months and all this money. Didn't really prove anything conclusive, but they still docked the Patriots, whatever it was, like draft picks, fines, suspended Tom Brady.

There was a whole witch hunt. And there was no real conclusive evidence, other than just the ball boy and this Wells Report, which was a NFL paid lawyer who obviously was in Roger Caddell's pocket pushing this narrative. Got it. Okay, so besides the evidence that they collected, it was all bogus.

But it was cold. There's a lot of variables to the ball. Gas law, right? It didn't make that much of a difference. That's the other thing. It was a 42 to six game. Honestly, I think that's probably the best defense that you could ever make.

It's like, it was one half. It's like, yeah, the ball was a little under inflated. Who gives a fuck? We beat this shit out of the Colts. But they didn't want to be wrong. So they were like, all right, we're just going to drag this out and then just fuck you. Also, it was more of like...

Go ahead. They just decided to enforce it, like doing that out of nowhere. Like Aaron Rodgers used to play with a super pumped up ball and like, you know, quarterbacks, I mean, Aaron probably knows like in the NFL, like they, you know, want their balls a certain way because they got to throw it.

So like... So Aaron, did you think that was cheating or did you think it was kind of bogus? Like Billy says, every quarterback wants their balls a certain way. Yeah, and I remember when it first came out and people were asking about it. I was like, yo, they don't have nothing to do

with catch, not tackling. They don't have nothing to do with getting blown out like that. It don't matter. Like the ball is the ball, right? It's like an objective object in the game. Like it just doesn't have that much bearing on win or loss. Like it's not like, I don't know, it's not like gloves and boxing where you can play.

It's not the same thing. So it's like, because they still have to throw, they still have to catch. There's no like... It is what it is. Right. That was stupid. What did you say Billy?

I would connect the dots. Yeah. What if we had a Jordan type situation where the NFL needed to punish Tom Brady for something that we don't know about, maybe relating to Alex Guerrero and unidentified chemicals? No. Found in his testing.

It was the NFL versus the Patriots. They would have just said, they would have been very open about it and be like, yeah, we caught Tom Brady cheating. There was more of a chance to prove about the balls than anything. It was like getting Al Capone on tax evasion exactly instead of the murder. I think your thought is correct, but it's more.

It was Goodell and the NFL versus the Patriots versus Tom Brady and Guerrero. Tom Brady was a victim of this. Collateral? Yeah. Okay. Aaron, I just sent you the video of Billy knocking out Jose Canseco.

Yeah, let's get your instant reaction. Okay, I'm gonna take it, Aaron. All right, it's over. And that was it. Oh, this is gonna be great. All right, so I think what we should do while Aaron pulls it up, I think we should since we have six,

let's leave it up to people to vote tomorrow. We'll do three and three and then the bottom vote getter on each three and three is out. It's eliminated. Got it. Yeah, sounds good to me. Get a discussion going with the people. Yep.

All right, so Aaron's gonna pull it up. We're gonna get his reaction to Billy football, knocking out Jose Canseco. Okay, hold on, okay. Listen, neither one of y'all got hands. He just has less hands than you. Why is he like this? What has happened?

I mean, I guess this is my... Wow. How did he not even try to... Oh my God. No, all right. Your form is terrible. His form is just exponential. Go to the gym today.

But what I appreciate about you is how hype you was. I mean, you did knock out Jose Canseco. That's a legend. You stood over him. Doug, you stood over him. Yeah, and screamed at him while he was on the ground. What did you say? I kind of realized he was quitting.

So I was like, get up, earn your money, get your fucking money. And yeah, I was like... I was in a totally different headspace at that moment. Aaron, do you have any questions for Billy about what type of headspace and mentality he was in when he was getting ready for that fight? I mean, you had to be like, Doug, there has to be one of those things where you're like

unsure if you should go through with it. And all hundred percent. It was a one-way mission. Did you actually train for it? You actually trained for it? I trained for it a lot. Oh yeah, I trained so long. Yeah.

He crushed training. Yeah. I was kind of disappointed he lasted so little because I thought I was going to have to like, you know, use some of the conditioning. Yeah. But it was fun. Looking back.

He definitely did not train for it. I'm just going to let you know. He didn't train that hard. No. He was saying, yeah, I go to the gym like two to three times a week. I was like, I go six days a week. Yeah. He may be like jogged.

You know, he may be like eight. I don't even know if jogged. Yeah. I think maybe like the night before the weigh-in, he was like, oh, shit, I got a big weigh-in tomorrow. I'm going to go sit in the sauna for a few hours. Yeah. I mean, he showed up at 270 pounds.

Like no one fights at 270 pounds. Too late. Like Brock Lesnar didn't even fight at 270 pounds. That is so difficult. Yes. That is why I'm out of his mind. He just asked you how much you weighed, Billy. Oh, at the time of the fight, I was 208 pounds.

208? Yeah. So Jose was a lot bigger than he was. He had a 70 pound difference. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I like right now I'm 225.

I dropped down for the fight. But what was it like fighting a guy who's like that much bigger, that much taller than you? Well, I knew he was going to have zero speed, zero conditioning. So getting his face, throw 100 punches. Uh-huh. 140. And he said I dropped down for the fight.

I wasn't going to out muscle Jose Canseco. An absolute weapon. All right. Well, Arian, thank you. Everyone go subscribe. Again, macro dosing. First episodes out about Alex Jones. What's episode two going to be about?

So we're still talking. We've got some options that we're going to run through. I think Arian's going to lead the way on episode two. But we've got, it's going to be good. We don't have the exact title yet. We don't have the exact topic, but we're going to talk about that during the week. But yeah, go listen to it.

Macro dosing. Check it out on YouTube, Spotify, iTunes, everywhere. Also shout out 342 Productions. It's like a co-venture between Barstool and 342 Productions with our guy Tommy. So yeah, go subscribe. Leave a review. Billy will say anything that you leave in a five star review.

He'll read it out loud on the podcast. That's a promise. There it is. All right. Thanks, Arian. I appreciate your man. Always fun. Arian Foster was brought to you

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We got a couple things here. We got guys being dudes. So this is a study out of where? Out of UVA. Okay, and what was the study? So the study out of UVA was they took a sample group of guys and girls, and they put them in a room, and they were told that they were going in there to think.

Right? So you can go in this room to think. There were also switches that were put in the rooms. The switches controlled a mild electronic shock that they could administer to themselves. It was called a painful shock. Right? Okay.

They told you you're going to sit in this room by yourself, sit here quietly for 15 minutes. You can use the switch if you want to. They were put in there. About 70% of the dudes hit the switch to feel the shock, and about 25% of the girls hit the switch to feel the shock. So the guys actually, a lot of people are like, yo, this makes guys look really dumb.

No, no, no, no, no. This is smart with the guys. Curiosity. Yeah, curiosity. You want to know your environment that you're in there with. This study cracks me up because they didn't need to do it. Like, it's essentially saying guys are stupid and will live shorter lives because they make dumb decisions

that harm themselves. Yes. So why do we need a study? You don't need the study. And it is a no-duh. But personally, like facts, I would hate, I would rather shock myself than if you put me in a room where I had to sit up straight without any electricity.

Tell you what, if you just put me in a room with a phone that wasn't connected to the internet, probably within 15 minutes, I'm going to shock myself too. I can only play so much Candy Crush. There's also an element of, you know, like when you have something significant happen during a day, you remember that day. It's a memory.

You're making a memory by shocking yourself. Otherwise, you just sat in a room, didn't shock yourself, went on with your day, you live an unfulfilled, boring ass life. Can you imagine leaving that room and then like going back to your friend's house and they're like, what did you do today? And telling them I sat in a room for 15 minutes

with a button that could have shocked me and I didn't press it? Yeah. That's so lame. That is the worst. I would kick you out of my home. Yes. We should actually do some kind of experiment like this as well here.

I want to know how many times they shocked themselves. Oh, you think they just kept on going to the well? I bet there's like a 5% who just like shocked themselves. Call a flower here, guys. 10 times. Yeah. You start pounding off while you're shock yourself repeatedly.

Just to search for stimulation. Yeah, human body craves contact. That's true. All right. And the other thing we had was a quick dramatic reading of this Seth Wickersham article that just came out about the Players Union to Morris Smith, all the like things behind the goal behind closed doors

in the NFL and Jerry Jones is obviously stole the show. As always, right? Yeah. He always will steal the show. He absolutely brought the thunder. But it's also like Dominique Foxworth is in there. Jerry Richardson and Demory Smith are in this dramatic reading.

So we got to figure out. Let's actually, you know what? Let's have Jake read it. OK. Yeah. No, I mean maybe they bliped them out. OK, yeah. So yeah, but no, you have to read it how it goes.

All right. But not first. No, give us the curses of reading. You're reading it. And can you do accents? Bank, bank, bank. OK, all right. I.N.G.

Yeah, do some accents too. Like what? The Jerry Jones accent. Yeah. Look, my daddy grew up on a farm. You got this. You got this, Jake. Come on.

This would be a lot of fun. All right. Jerry Jones of the Dallas Cowboys took the floor. Look, my daddy grew up on a farm in Southwest Missouri. Every so often in the spring, the wind would come from a different part of the country and the moon would set a different way. And the owls would start F, I.N.G., the chickens.

Nobody. Billy's an owl. Nobody knew where he was going with this story. The owls are F, I.N.G., the chickens. Jones continued. It makes no sense. It makes no sense that they turned this down, but it's a great thing for us.

I feel like you guys would be much better at this. No, no, no. You're crushing this. We're not playing 17 games, Jerry. He said Executive Committee member Dominique Foxworth, who now works for ESPN. It's not going to happen. Richard said straighter in his chair.

But which one's Richard? Oh, wait. This is, oh, so this is Jerry Richardson now. He's come in. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't really have an accent. Southern also. Yeah, with a dash of misogyny.

Wow. Gene's Friday. We're a handful of misogyny. Pretend it's Gene's Friday. He's a little turned on. I'm out. I'm out. What?

No, give us your horny voice. No. I'll do Southern. All right, Billy, you go. Billy, watch through the horny voice. Give the horny voice. All right, Richardson sat straighter in his chair. We can make you.

We don't have to ask you. We're being nice by not saying fuck you. You have to do it. All right, now Jake. We're not being nice by not telling you. F-U-C-K-U. We're not playing. Foxworth responded.

We're being nice by not telling you. Fuck you. We'll play with replacement players. Richardson said. We're being nice by not telling you. F-U-C-K-U. Good luck filling up stadiums of the Ryan Leaf at quarterback. Foxworth replied.

It was getting out of hand. Oh, no, that's a lot of. Tamori Smith. That's a lot of. Fuck you. You don't have a hat on. Yeah. Great job, boys.

Fuck you off. Can you imagine how much money these meetings would make if they were live streamed on pay-per-view? Yeah. I'd love to see Jerry Jones just get up there and address the room. Poor Ryan Leaf gets a ricochet shot. Yeah, that was tough at the end. Do you actually think that Owls were fucking Jerry Jones' chickens?

Yes, Billy. I read it in a Farmer's Almanac. There you go. I didn't even have to answer. Billy. That's some actual magic stuff, Farmer's Almanacs. Yeah, it is. The squirrel's getting fat and being like,

all right, well, we're going to get 100 inches of snow this year. Yeah, the way the moss grows on the tree. I was reading one just for content purposes, and it was pretty interesting. What kind of content did you make out of it? Well, I was trying to make a gambling content with the Farmer's Almanac because it tells the future. OK, how'd that go?

I couldn't relate to, too. OK. Good try, though. Nice try. Oh, by the way, Billy had asked to be part of the Macrodosing Podcast on Sunday night to be our Jamie, and I said yes, and then 12 hours later, Billy just didn't show up for work. So that was classic, Billy.

We're working on it, though. He'll be there next week. He's telling the truth. Yeah, he's telling the truth. Tell the truth. Tell the truth. All right, go ahead. Hank, guys on chicks.

Hey, sexy daddy cat and tall cut pro PFT. So I asked my boyfriend the other day if he jacks off in the bathroom, and he said yes, sometimes when he's getting ready in the morning. I asked why the bathroom smelled like nasty cum, and he told me he throws his cum tissues in the trash rather than flushing it. What's wrong with my boyfriend, and why does it smell so bad? Well, I'm trying to figure out his process here, because if he's in the bathroom jacking off,

why isn't he just doing it in the shower? And why is he doing the toilet? Yeah, well, yeah. First of all, if you're not jacking off in the shower, there's a toilet right there. That's where tissue goes. Right. Second of all, the shower is right there where you don't need tissues.

It seems like he's actually picking the worst amount of steps. Yeah. Why is he just shooting to the toilet? That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Is he trying to mark his territory? Either shooting the toilet, shooting the shower, or flush the tissue. Yeah, your boyfriend sucks.

Hey, hard-body cat, PFT cowboy hat guy in Honk. A few months ago, I wrote y'all telling my boyfriend saving money he had been gambling with for my future engagement ring. Today is our two-year anniversary, and he got me a gift with some of said money. The gift was pretty pricey, too. Do you think he's being honest now? Wait.

About his gambling? He's not proposing. Wait, he won money? That's what she's implying. No. I don't think so. He probably stopped gambling. It's actually a great window into his finances to see how much

do you usually lose gambling. If like two months later, your gift is really nice, you can kind of do the math and be like, oh, so you're putting five grand on the line every weekend. Yeah, he must have just not liked the board. It happens. It does. Hey, buff cat, PDF, and blue balls, Billy.

I recently discovered my boyfriend has a really weird fetish. For Valentine's Day, he bought me a stuffed bear with some hearts on it, and I thought it was cute, and we'll put it on my bed after making it. However, later that night when we were doing it, he insisted that the bear stay in the bed and watch us as we get it on. This was a little weird, but I did not think much of it. He would even look at the bear during sex and say things like, you like what you see.

As we continued, he then grabbed the bear and started choking it. It would not stop until we were done. It has gotten worse every time we have sex. Since then, he continues to say dirty things and grab the bear whenever we get really into it. To make matters worse, I noticed there's a small hole in the bear's butt. Do you think he's doing this as a joke, or does he really have a fetish for this?

There's a camera in the bear. Yeah, this is a nanny cam. Oh, I was going to say, I think you're fucking your dog. It's just keeps grabbing the toy bear and roughing it up. It's true. It's a nanny cam. They hide cameras in stuffed bears, and you leave them out on your couch to see what the nanny or what the babysitter does.

We actually have a nanny cam in this studio for Billy. He doesn't know about it. Yeah. Are you serious? Yeah, in the dick of bobble hood. Wave to it, Billy. Oh, fuck. Are you serious?

Wave to it. All right, I have a confession. The Mountain Dew bottle was mine. Wow. I mean, we knew that. I'd rather you hear it from me. Didn't you already say that? Yeah.

No, but he's definitely got an OnlyFans account where he's uploading this content. You might want to dissect that bear next time. Just ask him for 50% of the earnings. Yeah. Yeah. No. Dude.

What? 75. Come on. Empower the women. Production value. That was like, you know what you just did? What? You just glass ceilinged it.

Fuck. Fucking shame on you, Billy. Hey, sick cat and cowboy PFT. Me and my boyfriend, I've been dating for a while and he's always at the gym. He goes like twice a day. And I was a little insecure, so I asked to go with him just to make sure he was actually going to the gym

and not cheating. He's kind of acted weird about it, but finally gave in. The day I went, he said he was maxing out. His maximum bench was 185. That's it. Do you think he's cheating on me because how could someone who is always talking about working out is not cheating?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Only be able to bench 185. Hey, go back, go back a second. You said that this guy like works out twice a day, he says. And his max is what? He said he's maxing out, but his max bench is only 185. Oh my god.

Do you think he is cheating on me? Oh my god. Yeah, 185, there's really no other explanation. You're either dating like the biggest soy boy beta bitch or he's cheating on you. Wow. 185 is just ridiculously low. I mean, Billy doesn't even.

Or he's in Fight Club. What? Won't you notice that? And what? Oh, Billy's saying that's where he goes secretly. Yeah. Oh. I think she would notice that.

Yeah. Oh, okay. You think he's just a great fighter? Powerlifting and fighting isn't really compatible. Right. So. I've realized that. Okay.

Maybe he might be like. Well, you're one and oh, dude. With knockout. But like you lose all your gains. But when you were working out before, you knew that you were going to fight. You were already getting trained. You were getting your body ready for a fight

even before Jose Canseco's name was even mentioned. True. That's why you were at 185. Maybe maybe this guy's got like he might be maybe still in the closet. And when he says he's going to get a workout at the gym, he says like at gyms and he says it really fast. Just goes to hang out with his buddy.

Either way, don't shame. I mean, 185 is if you go to the gym in any type of regularity and you are 185, that's absolutely pathetic. Really, really bad. I mean, I think I could bench 185. I haven't been in the gym in years. Most gyms will actually revoke your membership if you go there every day because you're like,

you're obviously, you're not getting out of this what you're putting into it. Right. Should we rep at 185 right now? Yeah, sure. I can probably do it. I probably get hurt, but I can probably do it. I actually took some of the weights home

over the weekend to practice. So I don't think we have 185 here. Yeah. All right, last one. I could definitely do it. My husband's birthday is Friday. He's an AWL and has most of your merch. He only tells people that he wants cash

for a gift. What do you recommend I get him? Cash. Yeah, cash. Just cash. He couldn't be more transparent. He wants cash. You know what though?

It's the greatest gift in the world. Cash is amazing. Cash is king. We'll never turn down cash. However, we're getting close enough to the end of this pandemic thing where if somebody gave me like a hundred dollar Dave and Buster's gift card right now, I would be fucking pumped.

It would be something to look forward to in the future where I'm like May 15th, we're going to fucking Buster's. Yeah. Remember the days in the pandemic, like the first week or two, when everyone's like, hey, if we just buy gift cards to your favorite restaurant, we'll keep it in business. Yeah, I do remember that.

That was cool. Turns out it took Dave Portnoy. Yeah, save the world. But everybody gift cards. Save the world. Yeah. Cash. Just get him cash.

Cash is the best. You can buy whatever you want. All right, let's do numbers. Billy, you got to. Give me an 18. No, 18. 19. I think about taking this number sometimes.

In 1974, there was a chimpanzee war that lasted seven years called the Combe Chimpanzee War, where two rival chimpanzee troops, 17, went to war. Jane Goodall recorded it. Dude, this machine is taunting you, Hank. Taunting. Two out of three for 17 years. Are you on 19 now?

You're being taunted. It's actually just trailing you. If 19 comes up on Friday, I'm gonna be so happy. Billy, that chimpanzee war thing sounds mellow as fuck. It's crazy. And then a third separatist group arrived. It's actually a documentary on it. That's very cool.

Okay. We should map that. See you soon. Love you guys. To find you, shine away. Oh, I've been coming for your love, dude. Take on me. Take me out.

I'll be gone. What do I do? Needless to say, I'm on sentence. But I'm eased away. Falling in, life is okay. Say out to me, it's no better to be safe than sorry. Say out to me, it's no better to be safe than sorry. Take on me.

Take me out. I'll be gone. What do I do?