Pardon My Take - Mike Golic Sr, NBA Playoffs Set And Roasts With Joey Mulinaro
Episode Date: August 14, 2020Stages of grief for CFB are discussed and we have a Football Guy of the Millenium. (2:24-10:40) NBA Playoffs are set and we make some knee jerk predictions for round 1. (10:41-18:41) Fyre Fest of the ...Week and the Billy vs Jake Salisbury/Clayton beef gets hotter. (20:53-32:28) Mike Golic Sr joins the show to talk about his Hall of Fame radio career, the end of Mike and Mike and being disappointed in how things went down, and College Football. (34:10-1:20:36) Billy's list and we finish the show with listener roasts with Joey Mulinaro (1:21:54-1:33:21)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake
Transcript
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Hey, pardon my take listeners.
You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
or YouTube.
Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music.
On today's pardon my take, we have Mike Golik, senior.
Talked to him about the last couple of weeks.
His radio show obviously ended.
Talked about his hall of fame radio career.
Some inside the biz.
Really honest, candid interview from Mike Golik,
and I thought it was great.
It was cool to hear him talk about his career.
Maybe some of the things that he's not so happy about
and how they ended,
but also some of the good things about his career.
We have that.
We have Firefest of the Week.
We have an NBA playoff picture set,
except for the eight, nine seed, which we will find out.
And we have Rose.
We're returning Rose.
Listener Rose with our friend Joey Molinaro.
Great fancy fuckboy name.
Molinaro.
Joey Molinaro.
He's gonna do some Colin Coward style roasts
for us at the end of the show.
Before we get to all that,
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Boy!
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Now in the street there is violence
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No place to hang alone washing
and then I can't blame all on the sun.
Oh no, we're gonna rock it down too.
Electric, I brand new.
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Electric, I brand new.
I brand new, I brand new, I brand new.
Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by the Cash App.
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Today is Friday, August 14th.
PFT, I am in the stage of grief
where I am, what are the different stages of grief?
Denial.
Already there.
That was basically the last two months.
Denial bargaining is the second.
Okay.
So I think I moved directly to bargaining when I was like,
let's try to get some of the weird NFL games
in place at the college football games.
Right, what's three?
Three is acceptance.
And then, is that it?
Is it just three?
I think so.
There's an acronym that we learned in psych called DABDA.
DABDA?
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.
Depression, Acceptance.
Okay, so I think I'm still in bargaining then.
By the way, Jake is, Hank's on vacation again.
Well deserved.
Yeah.
So we got, it's Jake Bubba and Billy here.
So I'm in bargaining because this is my bargain.
I don't really want to watch college football
without the bands and the student section.
But wait.
And like the home crowds, like what is that?
Did they say that the bands would be canceled?
Well, the games canceled, the bands are canceled.
Do you know that?
Oh no, I'm talking about Big Ten and Pac-12.
Okay.
I'm like, you know what, if they had it
and there were no fans and there's no student section
and no band, what would that even be?
They could pump in the band sound.
No, no, I need to see it.
I need to see it.
So it sounds to me that you're in the acceptance part.
Oh, is that acceptance?
Well, your acceptance is contingent on denial.
Right.
So you're not really accepting.
This is a fake acceptance on your part.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'll accept that.
Yes, that's better than denial.
That's better than depression.
So now you're just fake happy about it.
And I don't know what's gonna happen
with the rest of the conferences,
but we'll see.
There's just high level meetings all the time.
Big 12 is trying to save everything, I guess.
I think the SEC is gonna do it.
The SEC is in full on fuck it mode,
or at least like we're going to delay, delay, delay,
delay, delay until the very last second.
They might even delay again.
It's like right now the kickoff is September 26th
or something like that for the SEC.
They might just push it back to October.
Then they might just push it back to November
and be like, we'll cram in a full 10 game schedule
in five weeks and I'll still like hang on.
Yes.
Just give me that little tiny, tiny bit of false hope.
I don't think they'll play if they're alone.
I think they will play if the ACC and the Big 12 is in there.
But I agree with you.
Like I said that about March Madness.
Like don't cancel anything.
Just keep pretending that it's gonna happen in a week
and then push it off another week
and I'll be happy about that.
I want to hear what fine bomb callers are saying right now.
If fine bomb callers are still focusing
on actual football, then I have hope.
But if they're starting to enter those stages of grief,
then I think that might be a problem.
They're like the Canary in a coal mine.
Once Phyllis from Tuscaloosa calls up
and she's like, COVID ain't play, nobody, pal.
At that point, I'm gonna be like, yeah, it might not happen.
Yeah, actually, what's the name?
Harvey Updike, like rest in peace.
He died at the right time.
We, well, I think it's causation there.
College football, the lack of college.
It would be lose Harvey Updike.
Yes.
So we also, the other part of like accepting
all the news this week is perspective
because UMass head cut football coach, Walt Bell, had
the football guy, the millennium quote.
He said, you know, my dad passed away in 2008.
My biological mom, Odin 2012.
And to be honest with you,
this is probably a tougher day than both of those.
Football is dead.
Wow.
Football is dead.
Yeah.
That's, I mean, that's a all time football guy quote for sure.
Can I actually defend him for a second?
Cause people were obviously saying like, this is crazy.
I kind of get where he's coming from only because, well,
one, because it seemed like his relationship with his mom,
saying biological mother feels like there's more to it
than just, you know what I mean?
She might not be in his life.
And also instead of saying died for her, he said, Odin.
He right.
So there's something there.
But I actually understand what he's saying
because cancelling the football season,
he has to take the grief and be the guy
for a hundred other guys.
Grief of losing someone in your family.
You can, you deal with that alone.
This is a grief where he has to stand in front of a hundred
kids and be like, we're not playing football this year.
And has to like basically shoulder that burden for them.
Well, it's tough for him.
So I think that's different.
I think it's different.
You can't, there's no funeral for a college football season.
You can't get over if they should.
There should absolutely be a funeral for it.
Billy, what are you gonna say?
What are you gonna say?
Shoulders of a hundred dreams dying.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There we go.
What a quote, Billy.
That really, that sounds better in your head.
The shoulders of a dream.
Shoulders of a hundred dreams.
He has to shoulder the burden of a hundred dreams.
Yes.
That's what I said.
Shoulder a hundred dreams.
Yeah.
I mean, it's tough.
It's tough for him.
I get that.
But it is like, now I want to bet on that guy
to win every single game next year.
Yeah, we should.
Bubba has three-fourths of a degree from UMass.
Half.
Oh, only half?
Yeah, half.
Okay, half.
We have the greatest, like,
the combo of Jake who went to Syracuse Journalism School,
the second best behind, what's the name, Newhouse.
You went to Medill.
Well, Newhouse number two.
Columbia's pretty good too.
You guys have this little shtick of making fun of Newhouse,
but you realize you're praising Ravel's school.
No, but I'm a Columbia guy.
I'm a Mizzou guy.
It goes Mizzou down.
We have Jake who's like a big J journalist.
Bubba did half a degree at UMass,
Hank did a quarter of a degree at Southern New Hampshire,
and Billy is 100% going to drop out.
So I like this.
But go ahead.
What were you going to say about the UMass football season?
Last year, they gave up the most points, like, by a mile too.
He's this sad, and they get the shtick out of him
every single week.
He's a masochist.
The school who gave up the second most points
was, like, not even close to that meet.
They give up, on average, about 50 points a game.
And this is the worst day of his life.
Yeah, this is still the worst day.
I would say, like, losing to Yukon by 48 would probably be worse.
You would think.
You would think.
But, yeah, it is funny to put that into perspective
and be like, they get the shtick kicked out of him so, so bad.
And he's like, guys, bad news.
We're not going to lose a billion.
They gave up 632 points in 12 games last year.
And I want to say second was, like, in the 400s.
They were 1 in 11.
They won the famous Akron game.
Shout out, Jack Mack, good pick, dude.
And so 632, I'm doing the quick math.
They gave up 52 points a game.
Fuck.
What stage of grief is that when you just, like, malign
your parents' death?
That's like, that's got to be super depression, right?
Right, right.
So, yeah, so we had that quote, so that's perspective.
There is some truth to it, though.
Yeah.
Because say about it.
Yes.
You're going to repeat what I just said.
No, because football is always a constant in football
guys' lives.
Everything else can just, like, shit can hit the fan.
But, like, you're always, like, getting the shit kicked out
of you on a Saturday or playing football.
Like, you can understand that.
But, like, when football gets canceled,
you never accounted for that.
Football made sense.
Football is the only thing in his life that made sense.
You can pretend you don't have a family if you coach football.
In fact, you probably do.
You can't pretend that there is football if you have a family.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
OK, that actually made sense.
The shoulders of dreams of 100 souls.
You got, no, that made sense.
I'm giving you credit.
I mean, why are you getting upset?
Well, my season got canceled, so, like, this kind of hits
close to home.
Do you wish that your parents had died instead?
Let me think about that one.
Yeah.
Let me think about that one.
I think that we should address the big news of the day.
Yeah.
And that is the Seahawks' undrafted cornerback.
Yes.
Kima Severin, Kima Severin, he was
busted for trying to sneak a girl into the training camp bubble
that they've established in Seattle.
And he got caught and immediately cut from the team.
He had her wear Seahawks' gear, like a Seahawks hoodie,
so that he could pretend that she was one of his teammates.
I love it.
Brought her in, got cut.
And now he's just without a job because he was too horny.
But he's famous.
Horny Hall fame.
Yeah.
Him, Rick Petino, Bill O'Reilly, Stephen A. Smith.
Bill Clinton.
Bill Clinton.
Barbara Forcoran.
Yeah.
Brandon Walker.
The panda that repopulated the entire population of pandas
because he fucks so good.
So yeah, he is the legion of Poon
is what I'm calling this group of Seahawks' cornerbacks.
The it's he actually like should
bill every football coach in America
because they're going to use this.
Like this is going to be the first slide
that everyone shows on the next time they
have a meeting.
Don't be this guy.
Or if you're a smart coach, just like get a couple
Instagram thoughts, sign them to your 80 man roster
and just have them live inside your own bubble.
Well, they're letting fucking happen in the NBA bubble now.
Thank God.
They're in phase two, I think.
So we do have an NBA.
That's phase two.
I think it is.
Like get your dick wet.
Yeah, get started fucking.
So we do have an NBA playoff picture.
It's starting on, well, technically on Saturday night
is the play in game.
Right now as we're taping this, Memphis is up by 10.
I don't think, you know, Yannis is
implying because he headbutted Mo Wagner.
I think Memphis is going to win.
So it's going to be, and I'm going to say Portland's going
to win.
They're not going to lose.
Dame is not going to lose that playoff Damian playoff Damian.
Right.
Exactly.
So it's going to be Memphis versus Portland in that eight
nine game on Saturday night.
And then if the nine seed wins, they play against Sunday night.
But we have our playoff picture.
It's the Bucks versus the Magic sweep.
Raptors versus the Nets.
Probably sweep Celtics versus Sixers,
which I feel like this is the 17th time they've played
in the last three playoffs.
You know what, I'm actually rooting for the Nets
because I can't name a single player on the Nets right now.
And somehow they haven't been terrible inside this bubble.
Yeah, they're like just, I mean, the line for terrible
was the Wizards.
Yes.
And they were just above that.
They tried their hardest to go over,
but they won their last one by accident.
And then Heat Pacers for the 4-5 matchup.
How are you feeling about your heat?
I like my heat.
OK.
Love your heat.
Love your heat.
I want to underestimate the heat culture.
That's right.
Yeah, that's right.
I always forget that we have a South Florida fan here,
except for the Yankees.
Is your Douglas Haslam still on the heat?
Yeah, they should bring him back every year just for the playoffs.
Just so that you can point out him.
Andre Guadalas on the heat.
He's still here.
And they also have the combo of Duncan Robinson and Tyler Hurrow,
which are like, you just bring them in and out.
And it's like, here you go.
Did you see that picture?
I think it was like a couple of days ago.
It went viral.
It was Gordon Hayward rejecting somebody.
And the guy's jersey on the back said equality.
So it just looked like Hayward was like swatting equality.
That's pretty good.
The NBA has come up with meme.
Like their jerseys now like are so meme-able.
Yes.
Every time I see the one that says I'm a man,
even though I'm sure it means something personal to the player,
it's where I always wish their number was 40 underneath it.
That'd be sweet.
Yes.
All right.
So Western Conference, Lakers versus the 8-9 matchup,
Clippers versus the Maz, which is going to be awesome.
So you're saying it's going to be a million points.
You're saying that there's no chance whatsoever
that the Suns get in.
They need Memphis to lose.
It sucks.
Suns versus Blazers would be awesome.
Suns versus Blazers is everything we wanted to root for.
But maybe we're wrong.
Maybe by the time you're listening to this,
you're like, hey, guess what?
The Grizzlies have lost because the Grizzlies have been
a disappointment ever since they've been in the bubble.
And the Suns, they should just, they made the Zion rule.
Why not just make the Suns are more fun rule?
Yeah.
What are the Suns right now?
They're like 7 and 2.
No, they're 7 and 0.
7 and 0.
7 and 0 in the bubble.
They will be undefeated in the bubble when they beat the Maz.
They should absolutely make a rule allowing the Suns in.
Although the Blazers, I mean, they are, I think they are a team
that could beat the Lakers first round.
No.
I said could.
Yes.
Yes.
OK, yes.
If Anthony Davis and LeBron both get in.
Yep.
They absolutely could.
They could do that.
Nuggets versus Jazz, they should just
let that one be played at high altitude the whole time.
That's the perfect matchup for my high altitude idea.
They're both used to it.
Yeah, just do it.
And then Rockets first Thunder, which would be great.
We got some bad blood.
If you think the NBA doesn't engineer their schedules
and their matchups, Rockets Thunder, holy shit.
Harden and Chris Paul.
How many dicks do you think Chris Paul is going to punch
in the first round?
Oh, yeah.
He's going to be all mad.
All mad.
So that's going to be starting on Monday.
Very excited for that.
Hockey playoffs have been incredible.
We're taping this before the Blackhawks game.
I'm just going to assume they won one-on-one series.
That's fine.
Caps are going to win tonight.
There you go.
On Friday night.
On Friday night, Friday night.
What happened?
What happened?
They were up to nothing.
The ice, the ice.
It's bad ice in Toronto.
Tom Wilson beat the shit out of somebody
because he hit Nick Bax from and probably broke his rib.
The dreaded upper body injury right now
is what he's dealing with.
Seems like the Caps deal with this in the first round
every time in the playoffs.
But guess what?
We've been down 1-0 before.
We've been down 2-0 before.
We usually lose, but we've won.
Been there.
Been there, done that.
And then the big news of the day is we got a new rich friend.
George Kittle, Greg Kittle, our good friend,
signs a $75 million contract with San Francisco 49ers.
Biggest contract in tight end history.
I'm so happy for him because we were actually
talking about this last week.
It's so crazy to think that George Kittle,
because he was a fifth round draft pick,
he is arguably the best tight end in the game.
You could obviously make the argument that now
the Cronk is back or Travis Kelsey.
I'm going to say he's the best tight end in the game.
He's the best tight end in the game
and he has played in the NFL for three years
and he has made less than $2 million total.
That's insane.
So the fact that they were able to figure out this deal,
he gets paid for what he deserved.
It's awesome.
It's awesome because I can't imagine the stress
of being that good and not capitalizing on it.
And also shout out to Greg Kittle
because he went out of his way to let us get credit for it.
Last night, he told Kyle Shanahan and in Rappaport
that he wanted to wait for the news to be broken
by part of my take.
So if you saw right after PMT tweeted it out,
Rappaport tweeted his tweet out
and then afterwards, shout out to Schefter.
Today was a banner day for Adam Schefter
and being late on contracts,
but adding a little piece of information
that nobody asked for.
So today, right after the Kittle news broke,
Adam Schefter tweeted it out and said,
he now makes more money than Hunter Henry,
which is the big question everybody was asking.
And then later on, after he missed out on the Kelsey news,
he tweeted out just a picture of Travis Kelsey
and said, big day, tight ends getting paid.
Travis Kelsey just got a contract.
So he put a nice-
Good job, Schefter.
Yeah, a little Getty Images edition onto the news.
Jesus.
So yeah, shout out our guy, Greg.
Very excited for him, much deserved,
and it's gotta feel awesome.
I told him he's got a live stream signing it
and just go through the emotions.
Yeah, you think he's gonna cry?
Oh yeah.
He's gonna tap the Joker signature
and then you'll absolutely ape shit on the contract.
Do you think his dad's gonna write him a mini novel
before he signs the contract?
I think so.
That would be pretty cool.
Maybe we can actually get Papa Kittle to like,
now that there's some money floating around,
maybe he can actually like get a binding for the novels
or like put a proper cover on it.
Let's get this up, let's stop doing like 14 pages
stapled together like he's Billy football.
Like let's get it going.
He should get a publishing deal.
Yeah.
Somebody should sign George Kittle's dad.
Yes.
Have him motivate America.
We will sign him.
Mm-hmm.
For nothing.
Write us a letter, George Kittle's dad,
before every podcast that we do.
Yes.
Tell us to not be afraid to be great today.
Mm-hmm.
So that was, that's pretty much everything that's going on.
We have roasts coming up.
We also have Billy's list.
Want to do firefest?
Yeah, let's do it.
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All right, let's do it.
Firefest of the week.
Let's have everyone put in their Firefest.
Let's start with Bubba.
Pretty simple.
It's just that every weekend sucks now,
because there's nowhere to go.
And so then there's pretty much there's nothing
to look forward to ever.
Wow, that's heavy.
That is heavy, Bubba.
I mean, last weekend, I realized that, like, Friday,
I went to a new pizza place.
And I was, like, super excited about it.
And then that was at, like, 8 o'clock on Friday.
Can I give you a tip?
Donuts on Saturday morning.
True.
Every Saturday morning, going and getting the donuts
and then eating the donuts is the greatest 45 minutes
of my week.
The deli that I go to, they do, like, a special on Saturday.
And I look forward to that.
I get the same sandwich every single Saturday.
Yeah, no, it's the smallest thing.
You've got to have these little things.
Yeah, just pick a movie every weekend
to watch on Saturday night.
And then you have that to look forward to all week.
It doesn't matter if it sucks.
Yeah, it's just the little things.
AMC is opening back up.
You see that?
AMC theaters are trying to open up nationwide.
And they're going to be charging, like, 15 cents to get in.
That's how much it costs to die.
But yeah, I don't know about you guys,
but I don't think I'm going to go to a movie.
I've seen Outbreak too many times.
No, yeah.
That's where it all starts in a movie theater.
This, it would be great.
I do like going to the movies because it feels like an event.
But it would be nice if this just changes everything
where every movie you can buy right away.
Yeah, it'd be wonderful.
Like, fuck going to a movie.
You're going to charge me, like, a quarter
to buy an unregistered African monkey right now.
Like, I've seen this movie before.
I'm not going to be going to your movie theater.
Right.
Jake, you're Firefest.
So obviously the whole ankle thing,
but we're going to get bastard.
Billy, any thoughts?
No comment.
And I'm here.
I'm just going to go ahead.
Jake, can I give you just like, let me give you
a little bit of ammo to clap back at Billy.
Yeah.
Billy spends all his time playing video games.
Yeah, he's a fucking nerd.
He's a video.
You are a nerd.
If I didn't play video games, I'd
be like out playing sports, but I can't.
I legit can't have any physical contact with anybody
because of this.
Because you're a nerd.
The Body Craves contact.
You're going to turn into a nerd.
You know what I look forward to playing video games?
Because I get a rush.
Nerd.
Because it's like, there's a split second where
you kill somebody in a video game.
Nerd alert.
You can talk to them.
Yep.
And I just scream for sanity at them.
Everything you're describing is things that a nerd would do.
No, it's the closest thing to trash talking.
Can I read this tweet?
It says, dudes, I need help.
I don't know what to build now that Bruin is nerfed.
I saw that and I was like, nerd, you're a nerd, nerd.
And you're a nerd.
You're a nerd.
You're playing tennis.
Yeah.
Right.
Kittles.
Tennis.
Jake's out there building muscles, making games.
Hey, guess what?
You can play tennis.
You said you can't play sports.
You can play tennis.
Dude, just tennis.
Goll?
Billy, did you wear your fucking tennis whites?
Your tiny whiteies on the fucking thing?
If I was, I wouldn't have worn my angle.
Yeah, I'm the bad boy, too.
I'm like, Andre, I guess the bitch with the tiny whiteie.
Married Steffi Groff.
And rackets and shit.
David Bradshaw.
Oh, no.
Rackets.
He's deep.
Sports growth.
Rackets.
Billy, here's where I draw the line.
Jake, contact injury on his ankle.
He injured himself playing sports.
That's a non-contact injury, dude.
When was the last time you got injured playing video games?
That's exactly a non-contact injury, dude.
He made contact with the court.
He literally, he tripped on a slight surface and hurt himself.
Achieving greatness by beating me and Hank at the same time.
Let's get back on track.
OK.
Jake, you're Firefest.
My Firefest obviously the whole ankle thing.
I'm here to say I will still be participating in Monday's
School Streams against Hank, third and final match.
You're going to play ping pong against him?
I am playing.
I'm not backing down.
I'm not backing down.
I love it.
Holy shit, Hank's coming off of me.
Reed's got nothing on Jake Martin.
Hank's coming off of vacation.
He's going to be fat and happy in a tan.
Beat the shit out of him, Jake.
Tune in.
So two weeks ago, I was taking all my shirts out of the office
to take them to the dry cleaners.
And I thought there would be one right next door, right
under this building.
It was closed.
I found another one two walks down.
It was closed.
I eventually went to nine dry cleaners that were all closed.
I guess they closed early at like 3 o'clock.
And I just found myself back in my apartment.
Oh, fuck.
It was just carrying like a big ass bag.
Yeah, I was carrying four dress shirts for the broadcast.
Why are you looking at me, Billy?
It's Jake's firefest.
Why are you looking at me?
Because he needs to steal a spotlight.
What the fuck does that mean?
Any time I get to speak, Billy's got to take it over.
Generally, I have zero anyway.
Billy, why don't you do your firefest, Jake?
Billy, why don't you do your firefest?
You know what the difference between you and us is, Jake?
You had four different dress shirts,
and you took them to get them dry clean.
I've had one dress shirt that I've
kept at the office for five years.
I put it on when I have to do something on camera that
requires a collared shirt, and then I just throw it back
in the pot.
And every time PFT puts on collar or buttons,
I'm just like, who died?
Yeah, big cat looks at me sideways.
But mentally, for the broadcast, you feel clean,
and it helps your confidence on the mic.
I always wear a clean shirt when I'm podcasting.
That's rule number one, exactly.
All right, Billy.
So I've been trying a lot of different pre-workouts lately.
And yesterday, PFT and Big Cat kindly
let me go home a little early.
Yeah, but why don't you tell the whole story?
So I just asked you.
At what time?
At what time?
It was 3 o'clock.
No, it wasn't.
No, I left at 3.
No, you asked at 2.
You asked at 2.
And then at 3, you gave me the puppy eyes, being like.
You asked at 2, and I said, Billy.
Tough.
It was a real tough day.
I got there at 9.
Yeah, but that was because you fucked up,
and you thought you had to be there at 9.
No, I got there early.
You came in at 9, and you're like, I was like, Billy,
why are you here so early?
He's like, don't we have an interview in 20 minutes?
And he's like, nope, it's in an hour.
And you're like, shit.
Billy got here at 9, came up with questions for somebody
that we weren't interviewing, and then asked at 2 o'clock,
do you guys need me for the rest of the day?
And I said, Billy, why don't you tell me
what you plan on doing for the rest of the day?
And your answer was, well, I was going
to take some pre-workout and call a duty.
No, I was going to work out and then play call.
That's the only thing I do, because you can't do anything else.
Anyway, so I tried this new pre-workout,
and I always take pre-workout right before I get home,
right before I start going home, because then it kicks in
when I get home so I can work out.
Anyway, this shit hit me when I was in the middle of traffic,
and it was kind of like, I started getting jitters.
Traffic, what a nerd.
That's not even funny.
It is?
Yeah, it is.
That was funny.
That was funny.
That was funny.
Dude, you called the racquets nerdy.
Traffic?
I bet you were buckled up pussy.
No, I was fucking, I was fucking.
Well, you got your anti-lock brakes on?
No, I almost ripped my fucking steering wheel off,
because I was just like, oh.
And then it wore off by the time I got home.
But I still worked out, and then I
was playing call of duty.
I got a bunch of kills.
That's tough.
That's tough.
But I almost also shit myself.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, then a woman looked at me, and I was like, what?
I just shit myself.
She was like, you're hot.
And I was like, OK, cool.
And then I went to phase two with her.
All right, PFT, what do you got?
My Fire Fast of the Week is the Washington football team
formerly known as the R-Words might be up for sale,
and I'm $3 billion short.
Oh, damn.
So the minority owners are pressuring Dan Snyder
to sell the team, which has been something that's
been going on for the last two months.
There are reports out now that Snyder is now
hiring an investigator firm to look into whoever
leaked the fake reports about all the bad stuff,
like the Epstein-type stuff, to accompany in India.
It turns out that one of his former employees
may be linked to one of the minority owners of the team.
So this is like Shakespearean stuff.
If William Shakespeare cared about a football team that never
had more than six wins, and it's getting really nasty,
and Snyder is closer than he's ever been to selling the team,
I need to figure out a way to raise $3 billion.
OK, we could do it.
What about sperm banks?
How much does it cost for a sperm?
I charge by the sperm, not for the bank.
Put your mics off.
One sperm?
Yeah, I charge by the sperm.
Oh, sperm.
Singular.
Yeah.
What is it?
Scent?
I don't know.
I just need some get rich quick schemes.
That's all I need.
All right, well, there's no reason to have to hear, Billy.
If you can't tell us the price of a sperm.
One acoin.
Haven't you done the sperm thing?
What, donate a sperm?
Yeah.
No.
Oh, just plasma?
You did white blood cells.
White blood cells.
OK, all right.
I feel like those are.
I feel like if you start giving your plasma and blood
constantly for money, you're going to eventually just
give sperm.
Yeah, white blood cells and sperm are very similar.
You just look at the cover of Metallica's load album,
and they're all together right there mixed together.
There's one healthy batch.
All right, so we're going to get you $3 billion.
$3 billion.
Any good ideas?
Anyone?
No.
What are you guys?
What are we doing here?
I got nothing.
Let me think.
Let me think.
Bring back college football and be the guy who did it.
If I got all I need to do is convince everybody
in China to give me $1.50.
Yeah, we spent an entire day trying
to figure out how to get $50,000.
Yeah.
This seems a little harder.
New asking price for Vanny Woodhead?
$3 billion.
You need to break it down a little bit smaller.
We've got to do baby steps.
You know what?
I've got an offer right now.
I just checked my email.
$4 billion is what I'm being offered for Vanny Woodhead.
I'll let it go for $3, just because I'm
being nice and want to give an award-winning listener discount.
So again, 25% off.
Use promo code PFT by the Redskins.
Jump in front of Jeff Bezos' car while he's driving.
That's a good idea.
That's a good idea, Billy.
Or get a Cybertruck, die in it.
Yep.
It's you, Elon Musk.
Take out a big insurance beforehand.
Then Leroy gets the team.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
OK, I got it.
Billy, why don't you put Leroy in the Cybertruck?
You get a Cybertruck.
No, I'm not killing Leroy.
You get a Cybertruck.
You drive in front of Jeff Bezos.
So now Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos, and you add me to your will.
I'm not dying.
As your heir.
Why?
We get a fake body double.
Nerd, you won't even die?
I mean, that is.
That's like the ultimate nerd thing is trying to do forever.
No, I have to wear $3 billion.
I have to badass is die.
I have to wear my seatbelt.
No, you know what?
We do that, get more than $3 billion,
then use $1 billion to play college football.
OK, I'm down with that.
All right, we've got to get going.
No time.
All right.
My firefest the week is obviously everyone heard the big news.
We had Dion Sanders on on Wednesday.
He's now a co-worker.
I was reminded on Wednesday morning
that before my son was being born, going through names,
I was pushing for Dion.
And it just brought up a lot of bad memories
because Dion Katz is like the most electric name ever.
That's also a good name for a cartoon cat.
Yeah.
So I just was I went back down the spiral of like, damn,
my son's name is not Dion.
So you know what, like the name Dion,
we talk a lot about quarterback names
and you can just see somebody and you're like,
that name is a quarterback.
Like Johnny Manson, John Parker Wilson,
John David Booty, all these hypothetical names,
great quarterback names.
Dion Katz, you tell me that you're not starting the tailback.
Yeah.
Dion Katz is getting the electric.
He's getting 30 touches.
That Doug's just so that I can name every player.
Dion Katz.
You can also just always add a middle name.
Yeah.
Like no one says you have to change middle name,
but you can add a second.
Dion, Dion Katz.
Yeah.
Done.
Yeah.
So that's my firefest.
All right.
Let's get to Mike Golic.
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OK, here he is, Mike Gulick.
OK, we now welcome on recurring guest, friend
of the program, Radio Hall of Famer.
Is that weird to say, Radio Hall of Fame?
Yeah, it's wild, because I've been in two of those Hall
of Fames, and along with playing football,
I wrestled, and I ended up in a wrestling Hall of Fame,
but only as a distinguished American.
So the only Hall of Fame I'm in for actually playing
as sport is my high school.
So push, come to shove.
I'd like to be in the Hall of Fame
for actually playing as sport, but it's cool, man.
I dig it.
You're in the Radio Hall of Fame.
It is Mike Gulick, legend of the game.
Great to have you on.
So it's been, what, a week and a half now?
Since you're off radio, the first question
I think all of America wants to know,
have you been able to adjust your sleep,
or are you still waking up at 4 in the morning
and being like, fuck this, socks?
Oh, I mean, I know.
I mean, I don't know when I'm going to get out of that mode.
I mean, the one thing I have done
is I've turned off the 4.15 alarm.
I had, before the 22 years at ESPN,
I lived in Arizona while I was doing NFL.
It was called NFL Tonight then, not NFL Live.
And I was calling college games through ESPN.
I was doing local radio in Phoenix for three years
during the morning show.
So for actually 25 years, I'd be getting up at 4.15.
So now I turned the alarm off, but no,
it's going to be a while.
I still kind of stir and look at the clock at 4.15,
but now I can just roll over and go back to sleep.
That must have been kind of a bittersweet moment for you,
like the ceremonial change of the alarm clock.
You're doing that for what?
Was it 20 years every morning?
Yeah, total of 25 years.
And yeah, I mean, listen, to me,
it's more bitter than sweet
because I still want to be doing morning radio.
I didn't want it to end.
So I would much rather still be getting up at 4.15.
I love doing it.
I love being involved in it.
I hope to do it again at some point.
So over time, the sweetness and the memories,
and I've had a lot of great memories,
obviously are going to be there,
but I'd still much rather be doing the show.
Yeah, I mean, that one clip that kind of went viral
a week ago where it was your son, Gojo,
telling you like, hey, you were always a dad first.
You were obviously like a great mentor to me.
I got to work with my dad.
I think we all watched that.
We all like teared up a little bit.
That was a really, really nice way to end the show.
Was that a surprise to you?
Did you know it was going to get mushy like that?
No, no.
In fact, the whole last show I knew
that I was going to have my family on for the last hour.
Trey was nice enough to,
I said, Trey, the last hour, I'd like to have my family on.
He said, I will step aside.
But Herm Edwards had contacted us and said,
he wanted to come on to say goodbye to Trey.
They're very good friends.
And Herm could only, you know,
him being out on the West Coast out in Arizona,
he could only do it at 9.30 our time.
So nine o'clock rolled around.
It was just me and my family,
and 9.30 Trey came back in and Herm came on.
And then the last eight minutes,
the last segment was just me and my family again.
And I had planned, and I'm glad I did it at 9 o'clock,
talked about the listeners over the years
and growing a bond with them and a relationship and stuff,
because I planned on kind of doing that again at the end
at the last few minutes.
And then all of a sudden Mike started going,
and I was like, oh, shit.
I'm like, man, I almost made it through this thing.
You know, I was wondering if I was going to get emotional.
I knew my wife was going to be balling the whole time anyway.
And then Mike, no, I had no idea.
I guess he told the rest of the family
to make sure he had the last couple of minutes
so he could do that.
I did not know that was coming.
And boy, that hit like a ton of bricks.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I want to get, you just mentioned you want to keep,
you would love to still be on radio.
And I want to get back to that before I do that,
just to follow up on this.
Have you had the ability to take a step back
and kind of soak it all in, that you mean a lot to people
and you have been part of their lives for two decades plus?
Because I think that's one thing, and our careers are a lot.
You know, we've been doing it for a lot less time than you.
But that's one thing that we all kind of fail at
is to take a step back and be like, oh, you know what?
A lot of people out there truly have a relationship with us.
And it's fun to sometimes recognize that and kind
of soak it all in.
Have you been able to do that?
I have.
And really because of social media,
one of the biggest, and having done this for over two decades,
how when I first started, we were taking
faxes from listeners, you know?
Millennials are going, what the hell is that?
You know, the fax paper would fall behind the machine
and roll up because it would never come out the right way.
I mean, that's how it was.
Now with social media, you get that immediate kind of response.
So I was overwhelmed and humbled,
not for the people saying, hey, you know, they shouldn't be
ending that show, not for that.
It was for, I feel like I knew you.
I feel like I knew your family.
I feel like we were friends.
If I saw you in a restaurant or an airport,
I knew I could come up to you and say hi
because it felt like we had a relationship.
That to me was one of the more cool things.
And one of the things in all honesty that I wanted,
because as you guys know, when you do this,
you need to give yourself to everybody.
You need to, as far as you, everybody personally
wants to go, open yourselves up and let people know you.
Anybody can turn on a show and just have someone throw,
you know, sports information at them
and throw, you know, stats at them and shit.
But let them get to know you, you know, and let them in.
The good and the bad.
You know, Mike was nine, Jake was eight,
Sydney was five when I started radio at ESPN.
And I told them early on, listen,
our lives are going to be out there, guys.
The good and the bad, we're just gonna let it be out there.
And by the time, you know, ESPN said I was done with this,
Mike's 30, Jake's 29, Sydney's 25.
So there was a lot of life in there
that we opened up to everybody and to hear their feedback
and saying how much they enjoyed that,
that was very touching.
So a quick follow up on that.
And I'm curious because, you know, when you started,
you just said, you know, your kids were nine, seven and five.
And it also was a different time
because the internet wasn't what it is today.
I, you know, my son's one years old.
I've kind of made the conscious decision
that I'm not going to be just putting him online
because I don't want him to one day wake up and be like,
oh, dad just been blasting me on Instagram,
you know, crying when I'm two years old.
They're, you know what I mean?
Like he doesn't, he hasn't consented to that.
Like I don't want, I want to give him a normal life.
Do you think if you were, if we could go back 20 years,
but it's 2020, so you're starting your career right now,
would you do the same thing?
Would you be as open of a book?
Or would you be like, maybe the internet's a little bit
of a darker, scarier place these days?
It certainly would make me think more
because I know, especially for my wife, you know,
when my boys were playing at Notre Dame and, and, you know,
the internet can be tough on, on, on, you know,
athletes on anybody, on family.
And some of the stuff she heard about the kids and stuff that,
that, you know, kids blow off and don't worry about it,
but it's tough on a parent.
I, I want to sit here and say,
I probably would have done it the same way,
but it's very difficult for me to say that
because you're right now.
Again, my youngest at that point was five,
still not an adult.
So it's not like, hey, Sydney,
can I have your consent to do this?
I was a parent.
If I wanted to do it, I was going to do it.
So I get what you're saying.
I would like to say I would have done it,
but that's a very difficult one to answer
because there is no doubt the climate is completely a 180
from it was when, when I started this.
Yeah.
That's what the pugs are for.
That's how you, that's how you bring like your family
to the internet and everybody loves a good pug.
You never, ever, ever lose with dogs.
Yes.
Ever.
They can do, and they could sit there.
They sit there on camera and lick themselves
and nobody will care.
Yeah.
I mean, it's a dog, so it's cool.
It's true.
And I, I do think that, you know, 20 years ago,
you're able to share what you want to share and keep awake.
Like now it's kind of, it's kind of all or nothing.
And it's so 24 seven that it's just,
and the internet is forever kind of thing
that it just feels different.
The biggest difference, I guess the way I would say it is
you can't partially open the door.
Right.
You know, you, you, and I decided,
my wife and I decided we were going to open the door,
but again, so I started it here in Phoenix
where the kids were even younger.
That was 1995, you know, so when I started ESPN in 98,
as we said, it's a different time.
We just decided to open the door and let our family in.
But you're right now, you can't, you can't partially do it
because you partially do it.
The internet knows how to, how to rip the door open.
Right.
You know, it really kind of kind of get everything out there.
So it's definitely different now.
I can absolutely see your point.
For sure. Yeah.
Can we clean something up real quick here?
Just, just so that we know for posterity, Mike and Mike.
So I tweeted this at you when it was announced
that you're moving on, but you were,
you were a big part of my life growing up.
And not just like going through high school,
but college and some jobs that I had afterwards
where I think a lot of people can relate
where maybe they have a bad day
or they're not looking forward to going to work
for whatever reason.
And even if it's just like five, 10 minutes in the car
on the way to work,
if you can make somebody's day like 2% better,
that's a small thing, but it's actually a big thing.
You know, it adds up.
If you can just make, because from the start of the day,
you might be in a slightly better mood.
That might change something that happens later on that day.
You might be nicer to somebody.
And then that stuff keeps going forward.
So I just want to say thank you
because it didn't, it didn't really occur to me
as, you know, as you're in the moment,
but looking back on it for me,
it's like, that's a big thing that adds up.
And yeah, so I just want to say thank you for that.
It's very important to me that,
that I had something like that
that could, you know, put a bright spot in a day.
You know, and I appreciate that.
And I appreciate, you know, both of you guys, you know,
tweeting about it and everything when it ended.
That was, it's a very cool thing to hear from your peers.
And I respect the hell out of you guys
and what you're doing.
So to hear from people in the business,
as well as listeners and viewers was a cool thing.
But to that point, I think that was probably
some of the best stuff I heard from people was,
I remember, obviously one thing was,
it made me feel real old with some of the stories.
When I was in grade school, my parents would,
or my dad would drive me to work.
That was our time together listening to you talk about
sports. I had a kid text or tweet me and say,
I listened to you when I was delivering papers,
when I was 14.
I can tell I was listening to you
when I was getting up for morning football workouts
in high school.
I listened to you when I was getting up for,
to go to class in college.
I listened to you when I was deployed, you know,
and my first, you know, going to do it.
And I'm like, oh my God, I mean, A, I'm old,
but B, I mean, that was it to me.
That was, I was never a hot take guy.
If I had a strong opinion there,
and there's some things that pushed my buttons,
I would say it, but I wasn't a hot takey guy.
I wasn't a yelling guy.
I was going to tell you of my experiences as a pro athlete,
my experiences of father, whether it was sports
or outside of sports.
And I just kind of wanted to talk with people,
not at people.
And I think that's what I felt best about
in hearing a lot of the responses is,
people felt like when they got up in the morning,
they turned us on when we were on ESPN too,
and just went about their morning,
like they were listening to us on the radio,
went about their day.
And then when they went into the car,
they turned us on the radio.
It was part of their morning habit.
It was just like turning on a friend and just hearing,
maybe laugh, just like you said,
maybe laughing a little bit.
You know, maybe getting a little information,
get, maybe getting a little insight into something.
And that was it, just take a little bit.
I was, again, I wasn't there to blow your mind.
I was just there to kind of guide you
until your morning got going
wherever it was supposed to get going.
And I was fortunate enough to do it for a couple of decades.
So have we established whether or not
you were the first mic or the second mic on the logo?
Well, I mean, listen, this is the way I'll put it.
Actually, Morning Radio at ESPN didn't start
with Mike and Mike.
It started with me and Tony Bruna.
We were the first ones to start Morning Radio in 1998.
And then he left the next year,
or right before 2000, like October of 99.
And then we were searching for a new partner.
And we decided on Greenie right at the beginning of 2000.
So I was the first mic on the show
before it became Mike and Mike.
So I guess I think if you write that down into law,
that would mean I'd be the first mic, right?
I mean, would you guys agree with that?
Yeah, let it be written, let it be known.
Yeah, so there you go.
How is your relationship with Greenie these days?
Because obviously there was a lot of stuff written
when Mike and Mike ended.
And, you know, people were saying, oh, they weren't talking.
I never know what's truth and what's fiction.
But where do you guys stand now?
You know what, it did not end well.
That's pretty much been public.
I was surprised it ended for the guy that was running ESPN
at that time who ended it.
John Skipper and Greenie wanted to go do his own thing.
So I was surprised it ended.
And obviously it's been pretty documented.
I didn't like the way it ended and how it went about.
I would say Greenie and I, and we've seen each other since.
But, you know, he does the morning show with Get Up.
And I was doing the morning show.
So we would have really no interaction in the morning.
We always lived far away from one another.
And outside of even Mike and Mike,
we never really hung out.
His kids weren't even born when we started the show.
So we never really had a lot in common.
And I think that's one of the things that helped make Mike
and Mike work a little bit was we were so different.
So quite honestly, the way it ended,
we see each other, we see each other.
So most were cordial.
But that's pretty much it.
In all honesty, there really isn't much of a relationship
anymore.
It's a shame.
But, you know, that's just the way it goes sometimes.
And that's just where it is now.
Who knows what the future holds.
But right now, that's pretty much where it is.
I respect your approach to all this.
Because, you know, this time around as well,
you said that you were kind of blindsided.
And you found out on Twitter, right?
Like that the show was ending.
Is there a part of you that holds a little bit of resentment
where you're like, you know, I put in years and years
and years of this company.
And Greeny kind of that ended not well.
And Greeny went and got his big set in New York City.
And then this iteration, you find out on Twitter,
is there a part of you that has resentment?
Or are you like, listen, I'm blessed I have bigger things.
My life is pretty damn good.
Well, I mean, listen, I can be very focused on that.
Or you can have a lot of emotions.
And I mean, I'm human.
So you do it for this long.
And I guess it's wrong to expect.
Expect is the wrong word.
There were thoughts.
There had been talks that they weren't sure what they were
going to do with the morning show.
And I've always been for the 20 years there.
And actually my whole life, I've been a say it to my face guy.
Let me know.
Behind closed doors, whatever.
I'm not a locker room talker.
Tell me what's going on.
And the thought was, well, we're not sure what we're going to do.
And I'm like, well, if you're sure, I'm not going to be back.
And you look and tell me, just tell me.
And they said, well, you know, we're not
sure what we're going to do right now.
And it was basically one of the media guys writing
an article that basically had said,
you know, it's going to be a different show.
And I was just like, my god, I mean, just let me know.
I've had some of the toughest coaches in the world
tell me I suck on film.
You're not going to hurt my feelings.
You know what, I may not like what you hear.
I thought what I hear.
But I mean, just tell me.
So yes, that did not go well.
In all honesty, the people that were involved in that decision
when I finally did talk to them, I let them know how I felt.
And I've always been a guy that was going to do that.
And I didn't talk about that to the media or anything.
I said, I'll handle it the way I want to handle it.
But then as far as am I bitter, I'm a little bummed it
ended that way.
But then the reality of it is, I was cut twice in the NFL.
I was cut by the Houston Oilers.
And then I was cut from my last team, the Miami Dolphins.
And I didn't agree with me being cut both times.
And I told the coach that, but you know what?
It didn't matter.
They didn't care what I had to say.
That's what they wanted to do.
So that's the way I look at it.
While I wish it would have ended differently,
we know it all ends at some point.
So it ended this way.
I wasn't overly happy about it.
But I couldn't control that.
So I looked at it that way.
The ESPN brass decided that they wanted to cut me
from the morning show.
I didn't agree with it.
I told them I didn't agree with it.
I told them, I think it's the wrong move.
But it doesn't matter what I think.
It didn't matter that I said that.
They were like the coach and they said,
it's going to be over.
So you can't sit there and kick rocks
and keep your head down.
It's like, all right, well, I know I'm not done
in this business.
I'm going to keep going and I'm under contract
with ESPN until the end of the year.
So I actually, it's weird, a lot of people are like,
man, just sit there and take their money.
And that's the way it works.
It's this reality I get paid until the end of the year,
whether I sit on my ass or what,
but I didn't want to do that.
I'm like, I want to do something.
You know, I still want to sit there.
So I actually went to them and I said,
let me call college games again.
That's what I first did when I got out of the NFL
is I called college games before I even started doing
studio shows or radio.
So, and they were like, okay, you do that.
Now we don't even know, obviously,
we're going through the whole college football thing.
So we'll see how that plays out.
And then at the end of the year,
we'll see where it goes.
But yeah, I don't plan on retiring.
That's for sure.
I respect it though.
I mean, that's, it's a classy thing.
And I think it's, it's, it's kind of rare today
because there's, you know, like we go back to the internet.
The internet is full of drama.
And I, I respect the hell out of doing it
like you're doing it and face to face
and not spilling tea everywhere and telling everyone,
you know, this is how I feel and not hiding that.
You know, and it's not, it's the way I was brought up.
Quite honestly, I'm just kind of doing
what my parents kind of taught me.
And in all honesty, it just, I just do it
because that's the way I learned to do it.
And I hope my kids do it that way as well.
And I've already seen cases where they do, you know,
where again, listen, we're all grown-ups here.
I mean, we can take criticism.
That's one of the things sometimes is like,
they don't, people don't think you can take criticism.
Just let's be upfront, man.
You know, we don't always have to agree on everything,
but let's just know where you stand.
I've always said that about a coach.
Just tell me where I stand.
I may not like where you think I stand,
but at least then I know where I stand
and I know what I have to work on
if I'm going to continue to be on your team,
whatever team that is in sports or in life.
So it's the way I was raised
and it's the way I try and raise my kids as well.
Yeah. And with the relationship that you had with Greeny
was 17, 18 years, I believe on the air together.
You know, that, that's a long time.
That's a relationship.
That's longer than most marriages last at that point.
So I was wondering if you had any advice for us
because we have a similar dynamic going on
where I'm an athlete, I work with a big J journalist.
And so sometimes, you know, we butt heads over that
over who's the nerd, who's the jock.
Do you have any advice for us
about how to keep our relationship fresh over 17, 18 years?
Well, you know what we would, for Greeny and I,
what we always did, and it's so weird
because you do talk about it like a couple.
It's like, it's like me and my wife,
we never, we never built a bed angry.
If something happens during that day,
you just square it out before your head hits the pillow.
And for Greeny and I, you know,
we certainly obviously talked as the show was getting going
and, you know, he was open to bringing his family in it.
We knew we didn't want to be kind of a blue
type of a morning show.
We weren't going to do that.
Disney probably wouldn't have really liked that anyway,
but we didn't want to go down that road.
So basically, you know, for Greeny and I,
it was just don't take things personal with one another,
you know, for the run that we had.
The ending's a different thing.
That was the end of the show.
But as far as what you're talking about is,
as far as partners in the show,
we disagreed plenty, you know, on air and on the show,
but we never took it personal with each other.
So it's not like ever after a show
where we disagreed on something
that we went home that day mad at one another.
We realized it was a show, it was our opinions,
and we respected each other's opinions,
because we did come at it from two different sides,
the side of an athlete and the side of a journalist.
So there was some disagreement in the way
we looked at things, but I think that really helped the show.
But that's what I would say to anybody,
you know, starting out in this or going on,
like you guys are going, is just make sure
that you know where your line is between everybody,
so you don't cross anything personal on air
that nobody wants.
Like if you don't want, you know,
your kid involved on air,
if the other person don't talk about your kid on air,
you know, you have those kind of things set
and just understand there's gonna be differences
and like any good couple, man,
when you're in your head hits a pillow at night,
don't go to bed angry.
Yeah, usually PFT scratches my back at night.
I tickle it.
See, there you go.
I tickle it, yeah.
There you go.
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Now back to more Mike Gullick.
Since you, it's been a week and a half, like we said,
I assume that you have a lot of thoughts
on what's happened this past week in college football
as a guy who played college football,
your brother's played college football,
your son played college, your son's played college football.
Where do you stand on the Big 10 cancelling their season,
the Pac-12 cancelling their season?
If Mike Jr. was still at Notre Dame right now,
would you be like, we got to play this season?
Or would you say, hey, let's listen to the president
and the experts and, you know, shut it all down?
Well, as a parent, my only role would be what I,
because these players don't have a union to help them.
So a lot of the players, you know,
they have their parents to help decide what they want to do.
I would have sent both Mike and Jake to Notre Dame.
I said, go there, follow their guidelines.
And if they cancel the season,
it was nothing I can do about that.
I don't have a say in it.
Neither would Mike or Jake,
or neither do these players have a say in it.
But I would send them, yes, I would say go
and follow the protocols, follow the procedures.
You know, again, trying to tell an 18 to 22 year old,
be smart on campus, you know, that's difficult to do.
But I credit those schools that have had a lot of testing
and very few positive tests.
But in all honesty, they could be in the bubble right now,
much like you see the NBA and WNBA and MLS and NHL
in a bubble, that's kind of where the colleges were
when the athletes went back on campus to work out.
They were in the athletic bubble.
But now that's going to change
if students are allowed on campus,
all of a sudden you're adding, you know, thousands of students.
So that game may change a little bit.
I would absolutely have sent my kids
and then they would follow the protocols
and just have to listen to whatever was going on.
It seemed, now again, I'm not in these conversations,
but I'm not sure, and I'd like to hear from the Pac-12
and the Big Ten, why you decided it now,
what make you have this decision now?
Because it's conference play,
we already know the ACC was already going to push back
a week to September 12th.
The SEC wasn't starting until I think the 26th.
So you can give yourself a little bit more of a runway
to see where this is going to go.
So unless, and I haven't heard,
I don't know if you guys have heard,
but I have not heard from the Pac-12 or Big Ten,
the commissioners, why did you feel you need
to make the decision now
and not give it a little more runway?
That would be one of my first questions.
Yeah, I don't think that there's an answer to that yet.
I think most conferences find themselves in the position of,
you know, we learn something new every week.
And so the longer we can delay this from starting,
the more information we're going to have.
The Big Ten kind of painted themselves into a corner
by saying, not only are we not playing,
but we're also going to do spring football.
Do you see any logistical way
that spring football can happen?
Let me put it this way.
The pros who get paid a hell of a lot of money,
these are adults, these are men with family,
these are people that have a union.
Their league says two teams play in February, right?
Two teams playing the Super Bowl.
Everybody's done before that.
So just take the two teams in the Super Bowl
for getting the teams that are done
at the end of the regular season and then lose in the playoffs.
The next time those two teams in the Super Bowl
in February put pads on is the end of July.
So do your math, March, April, May, June, July.
That's five months for just two teams.
It's even longer for the other 30 teams, right?
Before they even put pads on again.
You're talking about putting kids in pads.
And I know they do it for spring football.
15 practices and then a spring game,
which can be whatever it is.
It's not a playing against other teams in a season,
quote unquote.
So now they're gonna play a spring season
and they're gonna play till April, maybe May,
hitting another team.
So playing full contact football,
not a spring game, but playing against other teams.
So now you're into May.
You know when they put on pads the next season?
August, the beginning of August.
June, July, beginning of August.
A little over two months for student athletes.
And I'm doing the air quotes.
Student athletes, you're giving them
two and a half months of recovery time,
of which in that recovery time,
you have to start your workouts again.
After you try and recover from playing a season.
So that is a ludicrous thought.
To say, oh yeah, the pros are getting
over five months off before they put on pads
and you're gonna do it to college students
in two and a half months.
Forgetting even the fact, you won't have it.
Now people will watch if there's football.
Don't get me wrong, there's the fan side and the player side
and the players are still gonna wanna play.
Cause when you're 18, 19, 20, you just wanna play ball.
The one thing you are gonna miss
is you won't have one big player, one top player, right?
Would you?
Why would Justin Fields, Trevor Lawrence,
any big time player, they're not playing in the spring
because the NFL is under no guidelines
to move their draft back to help out.
The NFL is gonna do what they wanna do.
Even if they move their draft back,
those guys aren't playing.
So that to me, someone answered me that question.
The pros get five and a half months off
and college players are given two and a half months off
from pad to pad.
I think they're just giving us false hope
and that's kind of been the whole thing here.
I'm okay with false hope though.
And I actually, in a weird way,
yeah, I'm okay with false hope too.
I think, it sucks to say, but the SEC and the ACC
and the Big 12, it feels like they're almost false hope
where somewhere in mid-September,
they can kind of make the argument,
well, we tried our hardest and we went as far as we could.
We went a month longer than the Big 10 in the Pac-12
and we kind of came to the same conclusion.
I hope that's not true.
I hope we can get some college football,
but it just feels like that.
One thing I don't think you're considering, Mike,
is that there's a good possibility
that Notre Dame could play on St. Patrick's Day
if the ACC moved everything to the spring.
And I'm just looking forward to drinking
a shitload of beer before that game.
Listen, I'm hammered anyway, so it doesn't affect me.
You know, it's just, you know what it is?
It's another day that ends in why
where I get to drink beer and this time it's green,
so I'm cool with it.
There you go.
One thing I have noticed over the years
is that you've kind of, you've evolved your stance
in particular on looking at the NCAA
and looking at the whole notion of student athletes
and maybe how there's an exploitation there.
Was that largely in part from watching your sons
and daughters go through the system,
or was that something that came about
by talking to administrators and other people around sports?
I think it was an evolution of all of that,
of seeing where the game is going,
see the money involved in the game,
certainly seeing my kids.
Now listen, I didn't come from a lot of money at all.
If I had 10 bucks in my pocket when I was at Notre Dame,
I was lucky.
But, you know, we all managed just fine, you know.
Now my kids were fortunate enough
to be in a different situation
because things were going well, you know,
for me where I was working,
to make money for them to have it.
But a lot of kids don't, a lot of players don't.
And I saw a lot of that as well.
Now, as I said, and you're right,
it has changed a little bit
because I had always said, listen,
we all did it in the 80s, they did it in the 70s,
my brother Bob did it in the 70s,
people did it before that, you go there,
you get fed there, you get your meals,
you know, you get a free education
and you know, only 1% move on to the NFL,
the rest of you have a great education
and the first time you get a paycheck,
none of it has to go to paying back
any kind of student loan.
So there are positives to that.
So you're right, for a while I was like,
man, they get a lot.
And I do think they do still get,
you can't just, you know, discount a scholarship
and what it means again,
for those that have to go into the real world
because most are not going into pro sports
that you don't have a student assistance to pay up,
there is something to that.
But as you watch it more and more
and see the money out there,
listen, if I just thought, okay, is there a way?
And the way I like it with the name image and likeness is
you're not taking it because the first thing
that worried me because Sydney was a swimmer,
a lot of her friends were soccer players,
a lot of Mike and Jake's friends were lacrosse players.
If the schools have to pay all the athletes,
then you're looking at the possibility
of schools trying to justify the money
by saying we have to cut other sports.
And those are the sports that get cut.
Like Mike wrestling program and Notre Dame
was cut a few years after I left,
but you're going to start cutting track and field
and swimming and lacrosse and all that.
So name, image and likeness,
that money isn't coming from the school.
So they can't cry poor.
You know, a lot of them,
they couldn't cry poor anyway,
even if they had to pay players.
But I didn't want to go down that road
where every school had to do it
and they legitimately had to cut some other sports
because you know what?
The swimmers, the lacrosse players,
the volleyball players, the soccer players,
they worked just as hard as the football players
and basketball players, just as hard, sometimes harder.
But theirs isn't a revenue sport.
That's just the way it is.
Theirs doesn't make the money.
So they're always on the chopping block.
While I understand that,
I'd like to see them in a position
for name, image and likeness.
Now they're not going to get a ton of money.
I don't know, there's going to be very, very few,
even once that goes through, that will get a ton of money.
But it'll be nice to see the trickle down
of some people in all the different sports
being able to take advantage of.
Yeah.
I have one last hard question for you.
Then I'll wrap up with an easy one.
So your son, Michael Jr., who we consider a friend,
I think is very talented,
but obviously people on the outside
are going to say nepotism and say,
he got a job because of dad.
What advice do you give to him in that situation?
Knowing that he's good on his own merit,
but he has to prove himself even more
because of his last name.
It's full name, actually.
Yes, exactly, yeah.
And listen, the biggest mistake I made
once we both worked for the same company
is when we have to do trips for flights for the company,
I never should have given him my same name.
We get screwed up all the time on that,
because I was unfortunate enough to fly first class
and sometimes he'll get it and I won't
and that's just not acceptable at all.
No.
But to answer that question, he is so smart
and he understands, he knows he got his shot
because of the name, he understands that.
And he knows because of that,
that he has to prove himself.
And the one thing I'd like people to understand is,
if he wasn't good on the air,
they weren't going to keep him on the air
because what it can do,
and I'll make a bigger reference here,
it gets you a chance.
And then what do you make with that chance?
If you're not good,
then you're not going to continue with that chance.
It doesn't work that way.
So Mike has been great because he disarms it.
He's like me, very self-deprecating
and he will admit it,
or if somebody comes after him for it,
he will be self-deprecating about it.
And what that does, it just kind of disarms everybody.
It's like, well, okay, he's kind of ripping himself.
So I guess there's no reason for me
to really rip him anymore.
And here's the way I look at it as well.
You know, just let's just take our school motor name,
take anybody's college.
When you graduate college,
you have a kind of a network, right?
Of people who work in the real world
from that graduated from college.
You know, I'll just take Notre Dame.
If a Notre Dame student is trying to get a job,
they'll put them in touch with maybe a Notre Dame grad
who works in that field.
And a lot of times, and we know this is how it works,
that student, that graduating student,
they may get a break because it's a Notre Dame alum
working in this job that gives them a job, correct?
I mean, this happens all the time.
Just show the class ring, baby.
It happened.
So what it does, it gives them an opportunity
because they were a Notre Dame grad
and they know someone from Notre Dame in a business.
So they get a chance and this is true for,
pick a school name of school for the alumni
to help out for those people to get a job.
And then they have a chance.
And then if you perform in the job,
you keep it, if you don't, then you don't.
So I'm not fully admit he got his chance sooner
rather than later because of the last name.
And it was up to him to make them the most of it.
There was pressure on him for it.
He knew he had to deal with it.
I think he deals with it well.
And I think he does a great job.
He speaks better than I do, and he's smarter than I am.
But I'm his dad.
So people are gonna say, well, you're his father.
You're gonna say that.
But looking at it as a person in the industry,
he's really good at what he does.
So that's gonna take care of itself.
They'll always be the people out there
that are gonna say, you got it because of this or that.
And he'll be the first one to say, yep, that's right, I did.
And I knew I had to make the most of it
to try and keep my job.
Yeah, I also like how when they first introduced him
at ESPN, they made him earn it a little bit.
They put him on at, I don't know,
they locked him in a room with Stu Gotts
at 2 a.m. every morning or something like that,
which I mean, they're before the grace of God, go I.
But it was a situation where he wasn't immediately put
into prime time or anything like that.
So it was like, okay, if you can make these
overnight time slots work, then eventually
we'll bump you up and he cut his teeth that way.
He did, four to six, he went.
He was first and last before Jason Fitz took it over,
Mike did first and last, and then he would do
the first hour of our show.
And then that eventually led to all four hours on our show
and Jason Fitz doing first and last.
So you're right, he had to cut his teeth doing that.
He actually, before he even did that, his first gig,
he went on with the Sunday after, or Sunday morning,
fantasy football guys that field Yates's of the world
and Stefania Bell's of the world
and Matthew Berry's of the world.
He would be on for four hours with those guys
on Sunday morning.
He did that for a while before he even got the four
to six gig and started that.
And then probably, I mean, you guys know,
hell, you'll know when I say it.
Then he did that frigging show on Sunday morning
with Stugots.
Now all of a sudden Stugots is metering my son.
I'm like, oh my God, what am I doing here?
You know, what direction is he gonna go in now?
So I just had to kind of put my blunders on
and close my eyes on that one.
But now, Stu's been great for him.
They had a lot of fun doing that.
I think they're gonna actually start that up again
because podcasts of the world, hell,
that's what I'm doing now with my family.
We do our sorry in advance, a go with family podcast
where, you know, there's so many bleeps in it
because of my daughter, Sydney, my God, it's unbelievable.
But it's a lot of fun to get the family together
and just kind of talk about life.
Yeah, so I want to ask about the transition
from Greeny to Trey.
So did you have to like forget every Harry Met Sally quote
and kind of update your brain to just start thinking
in terms of Anchorman and Step Brothers
and any Will Ferrell movie to understand the references?
Yes, it was very different because Greeny and I literally,
when he sat down and when, as I said, we were auditioning
there were 13 people that were up to be my co-host
after Tony Bruno left and Greeny was not one of them.
Greeny was just filling in for a day or two
until the next quote unquote candidate sat down.
But Greeny and I just clicked chemistry wise really well,
you know, the nerd and the athlete.
You know, we kind of did play that game
and it turned out working real well.
Now with Trey, so that's the first time Greeny and I even met
was when he sat down and did that show.
We did one or two more and then all of a sudden
we were doing a show together
and we didn't even barely knew one another.
Trey and I had known each other since 2003
because after I first started out with Mark Malone,
Sean Salisbury, Meryl Hodge in who was NFL tonight then
and then Malone left and then eventually Trey took over
and it was NFL live.
I was doing college football games, Mike and Mike and NFL live
and Trey was a host for years
and Trey lived five minutes from me in Connecticut.
Oh, see any bears?
Yes.
Oh yeah.
Okay, all right.
Well played.
Yes.
Yes, yes, I do see bears.
So we knew each other, so we had a relationship
and we were more alike personality-wise
and you're right, it was different being,
it was a TV anchor as opposed to Greeny Moore,
the journalist, so it was different in the fact that
Trey and I knew each other for so many years
before we even started.
Do you buy his explanation about the bear?
Oh, that it was, that it was that day
and not an old picture?
Well, I think he said that it was an old picture that-
The old picture of a bear came to his porch.
He didn't mean, he says he didn't mean
for people to interpret the picture of the bear
that he put up as being like,
this is the bear that I just saw.
He just found a picture of a bear.
I have seen bears on his property
because where his house is,
I've been to his house and where his woods are,
I have seen bears, I have seen his dogs by the bear.
So if and now that particular bear,
I don't know if that was,
but I have seen bears on his property, yes.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm still dubious to the bear claims.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think you and a lot of people are.
Yeah.
You know what, it's one of those things
I just let lay with Trey.
Well, you know, Trey gets to smoking his weed
and all that stuff and it's hard to keep track
of where his brains at.
I'll let you guys try and get that out of there.
Yes, yes.
We have many, many times.
All right, so I have one last question.
It's the Me Undies soft question of the day.
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off your first purchase.
So I went, when you were doing your last show,
Twitter and Instagram,
they were doing flashbacks and it was really cool
to see your whole career.
But I noticed something, you and I share a similarity
in that our weight yo-yos drastically.
So have you looked back and been like, holy shit,
like I'm fat, I'm skinny, I'm fat,
I'm never really skinny.
But like, you know what I mean?
Like it, it's crazy to see it.
How, what's your secret to always putting
the weight back on like I do?
Well, first and foremost,
I remember one of the few times ago I saw you guys,
you guys were both walking around
with big and fricking jugs of water.
You guys were doing some crazy thing.
Oh, you're cats.
Yes, yes, yes.
What the hell?
Yeah, our nutritionist had us pissing off fat.
Yes, yes.
I remember that you were your gallon jugs of water
walking around drinking them.
Listen, I was a fat ass.
There was no doubt about it.
I finished playing at 31, 32 years old,
I was 300 pounds and I thought I was in decent shape.
And I would say, and I hated working out when I was done,
I stopped working out but I kept eating.
And a few years later, I literally walked out of the shower,
caught my glimpse in the mirror and I was like,
what the fuck?
I looked like a vanilla milkshake.
It was disgusting.
I was like, I was like 315 sloppy pounds.
And I'm like, all right, just for my health,
I gotta lose some weight.
So I got down into the two nineties
and then I was in my early forties
and Mike and Mike was obviously going on.
And I was diagnosed as a type two diabetic.
And my dad was as well, so it didn't overly shock me
being the size I was and it was in my family.
So I'm like, all right, I know I gotta lose weight more.
So I got down into the sixties
but I jumped to the eighties and the sixties and I said,
I gotta really get serious about it.
So I did and through the help of my wife without question,
I mean, the biggest thing,
and I'm sure you go through it as well, is snacking.
She got rid of all the bullshit snacks in the house.
So it was more clean eating.
And I'm like 235, 240 now.
And I'm like my high school weight.
And I feel great.
I've had 12 surgeries total,
but I've had stem cell on my knee and shoulders
to where I can now run and lift again.
I feel like I'm in great shape.
And the good thing is,
because of the yo-yo, you're right,
is I've held this weight for about five years now
at about 235, 240.
So I feel really good, but I was certainly big boned.
Is that the term we use?
Well, it's good to be able to be,
when you're at your lightest,
to be looking back at pictures and being like,
oh, look at that fat ass.
It sucks alternatively when you're at one of your heaviest,
but you can look back and be like,
oh, that was when I was doing well on my diet.
Holy shit, how fat have I gotten?
Yeah.
Well, what I did is when we look back at some,
and you're right, there were so many pictures
out of memories and stuff.
I would look at my wife.
I said, why wouldn't you tell me what a fat ass I was?
I mean, you'd live with me every day.
She goes, I didn't think you were that big.
I said, look at me.
I said, I'm a fucking door right away from exploding.
I mean, say something to me, you know?
But so, like I said, I feel great now.
I probably eat 80, 85 good, 10, 15 bad.
Listen, I still love my sweets.
I still love my beer,
but I just do it a little more moderation
to try and keep it down.
And I want to deal well with my type two diabetes
and be around for a while
to aggravate my kids because that's my job now.
Yes.
No snacking.
Love it.
That's gonna be tough.
Maybe you're not tweeting out snacking videos either.
Yeah, the snacking stuff.
That's a tough one for you.
Snacking is tough.
And I'm in the torture chamber now
of my son is now eating like real food.
So it's just like here, goldfish for you, 10 for me.
And leftovers.
Now you're in the world of leftovers.
You're, and see, I'm out of that spot now
because when I was in that spot, it's exactly right.
You know, if I had a snack,
it wasn't one peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
It was two.
It wasn't one bowl of cereal.
It was two.
I mean, for God's sake, when I was feeding my kids
the pineapple delight it was called the baby food.
Shit, I was eating that.
It was so good.
So yeah, you're in a bad spot.
It takes way more discipline,
something I don't think you have at all.
Nope.
To be able to do it.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry to say.
No, I'll be up again.
Listen, when I get down,
I know that it's just a ticking time bomb
until I get back up.
So we'll see.
Just trying to delay it as long as possible.
This, this has been awesome.
We really appreciate you joining us.
You're welcome anytime.
So listen, I love you guys.
I respect the hell out of you guys.
I love what you do.
So, and yeah, anytime you want, man,
I'm looking, I gotta get my tapes going somewhere now.
I'm all bowled up now.
I actually, what you need to start doing
is writing them down.
And then maybe like once a month,
we'll just have you just rattle them off.
And then it will be even funnier if it's like,
you know, you're like,
I think these, this Blazers team
is probably going to win the title
and they don't even make the playoffs.
So we can do retroactive tapes.
No, I was told there'd be no writing.
Well, once college is over, I'm done writing.
Sorry, it doesn't happen anymore.
Yeah.
Love it.
Well, thank you very much for joining us.
I have one last question.
Over the course of those 20 years you were on the radio,
this was ongoing saga.
As I mentioned, I was a listener.
I was a frequent listener.
How many times did you wash your coffee cup?
Oh man.
Wow.
I probably, I'll be honest,
I probably took it home three times
to actually run through the actual dishwasher.
Other than that, I would just rinse it out with water
and just leave it on my desk.
Sometimes I wouldn't even rinse it out with water.
So 22 years and probably got put in the dishwasher
three times.
It was that.
That's disgusting.
No, I don't think that's that.
If it's coffee, it adds to the seasoning of the ceramic.
Doesn't really do any harm.
Yeah.
I listen, I'm also one of those guys
that I'm not afraid to eat some dirt or some germs.
I think it helps my immune system.
I agree with that.
I agree with that.
Well, Mike, thank you so much.
Give our best to the rest of the family.
We love the GOLUX and we'll hopefully talk soon.
Sounds good.
Thanks guys.
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Okay, let's wrap up.
We're gonna have Joey Molinaro in here for a second,
for in a second to Rose.
Quickly just go through Billy's list.
I actually only wanted to talk about one thing
on Billy's list.
Steve Oduck taped himself to a billboard in Los Angeles.
That was cool.
But no, I wanted to talk about number seven on Billy's list.
Billy now is running out of topics he copied and pasted
an ad that says sideline reporter is more interesting
than the game.
It's just a chick's ass.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
It's an ad.
Do you know that I put one of those in ads?
No, like one of those click baity things.
Oh, you do?
Every list.
Wow, I guess.
Three days.
Well, that says a lot about me.
I didn't notice it was the ass one.
Exactly.
Exactly.
I am a follower of Big Dumpers.
You don't actually look the whole list.
Yeah, all right.
So Steve Oduck, that was pretty awesome.
And also you see Brooks said he regrets some of his,
let me read this.
Brooks said, I honestly was struggling coming down
the end of the third round.
I was well back and I saw DJs in minus nine.
I buried to go minus seven.
I was focused on Dustin.
I had no idea who was eight, eight, minus eight
or with me at seven.
To be honest, when I'm looking at leaderboard,
I'm never looking who is behind me or tied with me.
I only look ahead.
I view myself as going forward no matter what.
So I regret that part of it.
That's what I was trying to say,
that I didn't know who was on the leaderboard at the point
because I hadn't looked.
I just genuinely didn't know the guys at eight and seven.
See, this is what we said.
Mm-hmm.
People are gonna go after our guy Brooks.
Brooks, he's focused on who's in front of him.
He's not there to finish second.
The fucking haters, man.
They're sick.
I think that's where some of the cocky stuff comes from
because I always think I can win.
I truly believe it.
Yep.
And you know what?
This is an asterisk's major championship.
There were no fans in attendance.
I think Brooks feeds off that crowd energy.
Yes.
Most guys at the moment gets too big for him.
So this is where, Brooks is playing
with like a four stroke handicap, one stroke per round
when he would just like, nut out an eagle
and instead settle for a birdie.
It sucks.
Because there's no fans to entertain.
He's the people's golfer.
It sucks that people are gonna hate him
but we know the real truth.
And then also, Billy, did you make this chart?
I found that on Reddit.
Oh, okay.
I was gonna give you credit
because Jason Derulo thought cats would change the world
and then there's a chart that says release of cats movie
and then it goes down and says things going to shit.
Mm-hmm.
December, 2019.
2019.
So yeah, everything went to shit.
The world went to shit.
Damn.
Okay.
That sucks.
Okay, we're gonna finish up the show, the week
with first time on the show, our friend Joey Molinaro,
the fantasy fuck boy come to real life.
But no, if you don't follow him, he is hilarious.
He's been at Barstool now for, I don't know,
like three, four months, four months, five months?
Yeah.
Pretty much right when shit went to shit.
Yes.
That's when you signed.
He's based out of Indianapolis,
but he's here in New York this week.
He's gonna be here often in the fall.
Very, very, very, very funny.
So go follow him.
He's also got a cup of Joey that comes out
on Monday mornings, possibly Ian Hap coming up.
Yeah.
Okay, so everyone listen to that.
So we're gonna have, Joey does unbelievable impressions.
We had people roast us as Colin Coward analogies
and give it a shot.
If it's weird, you can just start going back
to your regular voice, but I think this will be good.
Okay, thanks Big Cat for that intro.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
This is the herd.
PFT looks like a god combined with every guy
who has ever sat on a college lawn, playing guitar,
and brought their hotness score down by four.
Is there?
That's pretty good.
A fake tough guy claims Twitch comments don't affect him
as he consistently plays into their hands
and the non-dad cracks.
Wait, wait, wait, what the fuck is this?
Yeah, they don't always, they write like Hank.
Yeah, the grammar is always bad on those.
I think they do it on purpose to make me or Hank look bad.
Not a lot of punctuation going on.
That actually makes sense.
I think that, so maybe Hank is actually a genius
and it's just that everything he has to read is bad.
I also could have edited these before sending to you.
No, that's okay.
So you can just finish out one of your regular voice
and get back in.
Okay, a fake, yeah, cause I don't know,
a fake tough guy claims Twitch comments
don't affect him as he consistently plays into their hands
and the non-dad cracks dad jokes,
which only gets sympathy laughs from the intern.
That's PFT.
That they bully because he didn't get it.
Yeah, Billy, I think he's talking about you.
Yeah, he's talking about Billy there.
No, I'm the fake tough guy.
Billy, you're not the tough guy.
It's affected by Twitch.
You know, no.
PFT is the non-dad who makes dad jokes.
You're the guy that doesn't get the jokes.
That still makes sense.
Right.
But you laugh anyway.
You cheese about the non-dad dad jokes.
Let me shift gears to this.
Two guys with failed first careers
converse with the internet.
Adopt an illiterate college dropout, Billy.
Darren Ravel, a steroid using, oh wait, no, no, no, no.
That's not Billy.
That's Hank.
That's Hank.
Hank is the illiterate college dropout.
Billy is a steroid using D3 special teams player
and a colorless cameraman, Liam.
And they fight against ghosts
as they try to make up new content during a lockdown
while their fans only say they aren't as good
as they used to be.
Yep.
In fact, it is interesting though that like you have
to specify in the future over which illiterate person
on the podcast that you're referring to.
Yes, many.
There are many.
I think I've done that.
Let me start with this.
Melissa Ethridge, do you guys know her?
And Fat Liner, gamble away their $750,000 podcast checks
while their least favorite wine receiver
asks them to tell them about the rabbits.
That's you.
It's a mice and men joke.
You're the tall, stupid, mentally challenged guy
that we're gonna kill one day.
Big J. Jernals, hold on, Big J. Jernals here.
Also, if Hank shaved, he'd look like a
Bob's Burgers character.
Bob's Burgers, Fox, this network.
A dad who drank too much Slim Fast, Big Hat,
and a crystal meth addicted kid rock, pursue their dream.
Oh, wait, wait, that's on me, that's on me.
By the way, crystal meth addicted kid rock is redundant.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You just have to say kid rock.
Exactly, so we can just say kid rock.
Pursue their dream of playing Dungeons and Dragons
instead of talking about football.
Not in a football town.
A lot of football going on right now.
Okay, how about this one, Joy?
PFT, where's PFT?
Sorry, I couldn't see him behind that 5'7 grain of rice.
Yeah, I've also seen this.
Boomerusted.
One more here for you guys.
I feel like I see a Hank outside every local AA meeting.
PFT, PFT looks like a hungover sorority girl
from a bottom tier house.
In Big Cat?
Yeah, you know Big Cat.
Big Cat's mustache just shaved the stash.
You'll never be Mike Ditka.
Okay, okay.
And then the last one here.
Based off of Big Cat's inferiority complex,
PFT, I'll bet his dick is the same length
as Billy's college football highlights.
Oh, that's tough.
That was a ricochet shot that went sideways on you.
It's hurt.
Thank you.
That was fantastic.
Joey, so hold on, hold on.
I don't think.
I was gonna ask.
Jake, send me one more and I could do,
I could do like coach or something.
Sorry, I'm kind of taking it over here.
I want to hear the coach out.
Yeah, absolutely.
Sorry, Big Cat, what were you saying though?
Oh, I was gonna say,
how is the first six months of partial bet?
It's been great, man.
I like being in the office better
than just like working from my apartment,
like a, you know, schmuck just like all my own.
But, you know, you got family.
You got cats, you got three cats.
Three cats.
You're bordering on becoming crazy cat person.
Not bordering.
No, I think it's.
No, he's there.
He's a cat guy.
Three cats.
Yeah, you're a cat guy.
But if you get one more, then you're a crazy cat guy.
He has a tattoo of his cat.
He's a crazy cat guy.
You have a tattoo of your cat.
I have a tattoo of representing all three.
Representing all three of the cats.
Billy has something to say,
but I'll just speak for Billy.
I'll really get him.
He's just about to smell her.
I actually met his cats,
and they're actually giant and kind of cool.
Oh, so they're alpha cats.
They're Marlin's band style cats.
I got one that is a definite alpha cat.
Yeah, and then one's just a bitch.
But Remy, big alpha cat.
Okay.
That was in my intro video.
I was like, I'm ready for Big Cat to meet my little cats.
Yes, my favorite thing is whenever a cat person
is like, I got a cat,
but it's so cool, it's basically a dog.
It's like, well, you can just get a dog.
Get a dog.
Yeah, it'll always be a dog.
But you never have to teach your cat how to shit,
or where to shit, or piss.
Yeah, okay, that's true.
Okay, that's true in your house.
That's true.
You literally set it up,
and then they just magically know it's insane.
You're right.
In your defense, you're right.
It did take like, I don't know,
two days for me to have to teach
shallow where to shit.
Yeah, this is gonna be a tough win.
I didn't, dude.
It was two days of my life.
I do.
I have the Death Star, basically, in my fucking,
you don't know, you're not a Star Wars guy.
So, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What is that?
Like, what do you mean you have the Death Star?
Like, I have the Death Star version of a litter box.
And it like, literally, it works on its own.
All right, you know what?
I'm flipping, because you've owned,
you've owned the cat guy thing so much,
being like, I'm gonna combine my three cats and Star Wars.
I'm back on your side.
Thank you.
Okay, big cat on with the cat guy.
Got to love it.
Coach, yo, with the last one.
Five-Galizic guzzlers use incomprehensible behavior
to land megastar guests,
and mold the youth of America through D&D and dips,
but go Tigers.
Perfect.
All right, we'll see you, Joe.
Thank you, Joe, on Monday.
Thanks, guys.
Love you guys.
Billy?
I've been having a lot of thoughts lately.
First thing is we had that comment from the UMass football
coach about how mourning the loss of football
has been really hard.
Let me just tell you something.
There's a time in every football guy's life
where it becomes a football guy,
where football is the only constant in their life.
That's where true grit is born.
When everything around you is hectic, crazy, stressful,
football is the only constant.
I think this also applies to football guys' guys.
And with this, the only thing I have to look forward to
any more now is football's canceled.
There's drinking pre-workout, video games, working out,
and I would like to give you permission
to get absolutely bombed in some way or another.
They're all the same.
Yeah.
They're all the same.
You've given the same talk like the last 10.
There's no more football.
He just keeps cutting.
I've been thinking a lot about...
You actually run those?
I'm thinking about the fact that I
just don't want all those things to sit anymore.
Really, just talk about an animal or something.
Mix it up.
Let's end this one.
Next week, come with something real.
Write something out.
Dinosuchus is a giant, crocodilian species
that lived in North America, circa 65 million years ago.
It was basically a giant alligator.
Love you guys.
PFT doesn't love you anymore.
He doesn't say it.
I do.
I already said it.
Remember who loves you.