Pardon My Take - NFL Championship Sunday + Baron Davis

Episode Date: January 21, 2019

An absolutely unreal Championship Sunday. Fastest 2 minutes with special guest Hank (2:27 - 4:59). Recapping the AFC and NFC Championship. Tom Brady defies all logic, the Chiefs couldn't stop anything, Tony Romo was on fire and Dee Ford will forever be the goat (4:59 - 20:50). The Saints got screwed, Sean Payton loves Taysom Hill too much, and Sean McVay owes us a suite at the Super Bowl (20:50 - 37:07). Who's back of the week including Drake and Soulja Boy (37:07 - 44:44). Former NBA All Star Baron Davis joins the show to talk about his career, the time Derrick Coleman almost killed him for letting Steve Kerr hit threes, and why Big Cat should stop saying Ball Is Life (44:44 - 72:05). Segments include Stay Classy Greg Hardy, Petty Wars NBA, Kings Stay Kings Skip Bayless, and Monday Reading "I love my wife but she openly sleeps with other men and says my penis is too small to please her". You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's part, it might take a wild, wild championship Sunday, a recap of both games. Still, my heart is beating. It's three hours after those games finished. What a weekend of football. We also have a interview with Baron Davis, catching up with him a little bit about his career, a little bit about what he's got going on right now. And because it is Monday, we have Who's Back of the Week and Monday Reading. Before we get to all that, it's time to talk about the Cash Card from Cash App, the number one finance app in the App Store. For a reason, the Cash Card is the most powerful debit card in the world,

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and get boosted. Download Cash App from the App Store or Google Play in order to the Cash Card today. You're not an award-winning listener unless you do, so just go download it now. Okay, let's go. It's Cardin' My Teat, presented by Fall School Sports. Welcome to Cardin' My Teat, presented by your ad here. Today is Monday, January 21st, Championship Sunday. We start in the big breezy where the Rams and Saints face off for the NFC Championship. The Saints came out hot as Sean Payton dipped into the playbook of Mormon and said, taste some of this with a first half touchdown from Taysom Hill. They may have lost

their Tavon Austin Powers this offseason, but it wasn't time for the Rams to lose their heads just yet, as Todd Elizabeth Gurley found the end zone to pull within three before half. Do I make you horny? In the second half, Aaron Donald Glover stayed woke, hoping the Rams D stopped the Saints in the red bone. The famous New Orleans fan, Whistleman, asked, can I blow your whistle, baby? Whistle, baby, let me know. But the ref swallowed theirs in a crucial league game situation as the Saints were marching, they're marching, they're marching, they're marching, huh? And they won't be singing, Nicole Roby call, man. On Bourbon Street anytime soon. The gold club in Atlanta is on a few hundred thousand one dollar bills as Jared sends the

Saints golfing early, 26, 23. We kick it over to Kishan in the booth for the, for the NFC Championship game. Sean Kishan Kishan. Thanks guys. We take it down to Kansas City, where big balls Bill Belichick and Andy need for feed read. They saw in the first AFC Championship game in Arrowhead history. Sonny Michelle Rodriguez was too fast and too furious for the Kansas City defense as he went for 29 carries, 113 yards and two TDs. Travis Scott Kelsey scored one TD early, but when his team needed him the most, he looked like he was in sicko mode on the sideline, puking and throwing up any chance he had to take his team to win the game. No question, boom. Jules Santana, Jules Santana, I don't even dip set it all over the Kansas City D for seven

Kansas, torturing them like a great Cigarello all night long. Great Cigarello. Fuck that one up. It looked like the Patriots are going to win the game in regulation, but Patrick Mahomes got the ball back and what and what and what was gone in 60 seconds, leading the Chiefs down the field to tie the game as time inspired to take us into overtime. In overtime, Tom Hiddleston Brady, low key, high key, snaps the soul of every Kansas City fan across the globe as he boom, boom, boom, what? Marches, majors down the field, the score and touchdown and take his team to their third Super Bowl in four years. Patriots win 37, 31. Okay. That was Hank's debut. Yes, he wrote that himself. Yeah, that was all. Yeah. If you couldn't tell all the millennial references, late millennial

references, excuse me. Yes. So championship Sunday. Thank you for letting me do that. Hank, we thought it would be only right for you to do that thrilling AFC championship game. What a Sunday. That was the best championship Sunday probably ever. I mean, both games going into overtime, both games were instant classics. We will start with the AFC championship game in Arrowhead. I, I mean, I don't really know what to say. Tom Brady is like, that was the most, it's crazy when sports get to a point where you just know what's going to happen before it happens. And it only happens when like the, the upper upper echelon athletes are playing and you're like, you just know, like if Tom Brady gets the ball in overtime, the game is over. This is exactly how

it was at the end of that, the first Chiefs Patriots game this year where like it was a little bit slow. The Patriots kind of like imposed their will a little bit. And then the fourth quarter, they went the fuck off. And I think, how many points were there in the fourth quarter, like 38? Yeah, it was insane. It was awesome. I will eat crow. I'll eat what, is that what they say? Yeah, you're going to eat a bird, a big blackbird with feathers and say that Rob Gronkowski was sandbagging the entire season. He's totally healthy. He's actually the best tight end in the NFL right now. I'm sure he'll show up for the Super Bowl. And we said it on Friday's show, one of the biggest pieces to the Patriots like, I mean, they were never gone, but being back so to speak is Julian

Edelman being 100% healthy and catching every third and 10. Like it was, it was insane to watch the Patriots. I still don't understand Andy Reed and I don't want to blame, you know, do the timeout thing, but you have three timeouts in overtime that can't end in a tie. There's the clock does not even matter. It really like, they should just play with no clock. Right. And actually, Andy reads dreams, right? And they let his, he let his defense just die out there without calling one time out, whether it be at a third and 10, whether it be when the Patriots get to the goal line, it was baffling to see that happen. I guess it wasn't really baffling because that's Andy Reed, but it was an unbelievable game. Patrick Mahomes, very close to basically winning that

game with his drive with 38 seconds left. He goes down the field and does exactly what like, that's why he's the MVP. And yeah, the, the D Ford lining offsides will haunt Kansas city forever. And I feel terrible for chiefs fans. Yeah. So he was pretty clearly off sides though. It was the right call to make. Like there were a lot of weird replay reviews in the, in the third and fourth quarter of that game. I think they got most from right, the Edelman thing. Who knows if that, but he's the only guy that knows if the ball had, this is why you'd almost rather have, I think they got that call. His reaction makes it seem like he didn't touch it. Yeah. Yeah. I think they got that call right. And I mean, it just comes down to when you're playing the New

England Patriots in the postseason, the margin for error is zero and a play like the D Ford off sides. Like you cannot give Tom Brady extra, it's almost like a baseball game, giving extra outs to the best hitter. You cannot, you cannot let that happen and basically have the game be over and be like, Nope, guess what? Come back on, let Tom Brady do it again. And hits, Julien Edelman hits, Rob Gronkowski hits anyone who needed in the biggest moments. And it was, it really was. It felt like it was, we knew what was going to happen before it happened. I was crunching some numbers. I was, I was crunching some numbers after the game. Oh, okay. New England ran 524, New England had 524 yards of offense. Kansas city only had 290.

New England ran 94 plays and Kansas city only ran 47. So they killed them. Yeah. What was a time possession? That actually is very similar. That's similar to the Super Bowl against Falcons, right? Where the, where the Patriots offense is on the field for just an insane amount of plays. And the chiefs defense, I mean, they did make a few plays, but they, you know, they, they had the, the interception at the goal line in the first half. The other, that was a bad pass. That was a very bad pass. The other Andy Reid, like, dude, it's the end of the first half. The Patriots are ready to just go into halftime of seven-nothing. Andy Reid calls the timeout to try to get the ball back. I know we're playing the results here,

but it feels like one of those situations where you just don't want to give Tom Brady more chances to beat you, go into the half and come out with the ball. You're getting the ball second half. They can't do the, like, kill you at the end of half and kill you at the start of half. Just go in there, seven-nothing. They don't Patriots go up 14-nothing. And that felt like that was just a crucial, crucial part of the game that they fucked up. Yeah, that was big. That was very, very big. They came out of the second half and the chiefs looked like the chiefs that we've all had a lot of fun watching this year. They threw like, they threw the ball downfield. Sammy Watkins was getting in. Tyree Kill was, I think Tyree Kill

only had what, like a couple catches? Yeah. They took him out of the game. They took him out of there, which is tough to do for a guy that's like very clearly faster than everybody else in the world. Andy Reid had another classic Andy Reid moment where he challenged that catch by Hogan. Yeah. And he clearly didn't see the camera angle that would have been definitive, but he was like, this just looks too good. And that was a timeout. I can't control myself. That timeout, if they keep that timeout, they probably have another chance at the end zone in regulation instead of having to kick a field goal there with, you know, 11 seconds left. I also, so a couple of notes about the broadcast. One Jim, or Tony Romo was on fire.

I have a stay woke about Tony Romo. Okay. Now, Brady Quinn actually tweeted and was like, he was just calling the same play the Patriots were running over and over. So there is some of you said that the Patriots ran the same play over and over, but Tony Romo between the, the sounds, and I felt like he was almost doing it like as a nod to all the haters. Cause he was giving a couple of classic, oh Jim, I don't know Jim. He did the, they have a saying in basketball that the ball doesn't lie, which is the easiest saying to, to, to remember. And he just fucked that up. And then he called every single play basically down the stretch to perfection. Yeah. I have a much simpler explanation for how he was able to

call the plays other than just like identifying that the Patriots will run the same plays each time. I got tipped off here from somebody involved in the production says, I know someone who works for the CBS football production team and CBS is pulling play, call, audio and hot routes from the same radio channel that the coordinators send the play is the Cubies helmet. They direct the audio into Romo's earpiece and he appears to know all the calls before. Yeah. So my original thought, cause I had to stay woke about this before I get this hot tip. Yeah. My original stay woke was that they just, they have Tony announcing like doing the audio on delay. So the play happens and then they're on like a five second delay. And so him and Jim Nance are just

pretending that the play hasn't happened yet as they're calling the audio. Yes. Which would be a total mind fuck on everybody if that were the case. He's probably not logical, but this makes a lot of sense. Tony's, they're pulling some monkey bass in the audio. Wow. Yeah. That kind of, that takes a little shine off. By the way, if Belichick knew that this was happening, he would have Tony Romo killed. This is why I kind of doubt it. Belichick's got snipers around the field. Tony would be taken out by the second quarter. It would be, that would be something else. He also had a great on the Edelman review. He likened it to the grassy knoll and JFK's assassination. His thumb moved back into the left. He was in the zone. He was in the zone for the

entire second half. This is why, by the way, like it wouldn't be the worst thing to have a guy like J.P.P. returning punts. Yeah. Just, or Tony Fumigali. Less of him. Yeah. Nine fingers. Perfect. Yeah. Less of him to make contact with the ball. By the way, have we reached the point as a society where we should all know the rule that you can't advance a muff punt? Nope. Because they put the seven points on the scoreboard. All right. I think that's just a pure excitement thing. It is. Like, you can't contain yourself when a play like that happens. Everyone just throws out the rules and it takes about 10 seconds for them. Like, wait, oh, you can't, you can't run that back. By the way, muff punt, probably the sexiest term in football. By far. Do we agree? Muff punt. By far.

Yeah. So the, so Tony Romo was on fire and I, I, listen, we have criticized Tony Romo on this podcast. I think rightfully so. I actually got a kick out of him. I really did. I'm not going to blindly hate him. I think he got hung up on reviews after they were finished, which was a little weird, but other than that, I thought he had like maybe his best game ever. He was great. It sounded like he was on ecstasy and he was just having a great time loving it. He was probably just rubbing Jim Nance's shoulder the whole time. You know what, Jim, don't we love football, Jim? We love football. Don't we, Jim? I'm realizing why I love the Tony Romo experience this Sunday, because his excitement finally matched the game. Okay. So when he's doing a week for Jaguars versus

Texans game at four o'clock on a Sunday, I don't need to have the excitement that it's like everything's on the table and all that. I don't need that. This game, it worked. It matched perfectly. His excitement matched what we were watching and how intense this game was and every single play really did feel like the biggest play. Like there were so many moments in that game where it was like, oh, that just turned the game. Nope. Oh, and then there's another one that just turned the game and it just kept on going back and forth. Watching the chiefs play in the fourth quarter is a total mind fuck because for the last, I'd say six or seven minutes of the game, when they're on defense, I'm always just thinking like, let them score. Right. And also,

then when they get the ball, I'm thinking if I'm the Patriots, let them score. It kind of worked out that way in the fourth quarter. Yeah. Whoever gets scored on last has the best chance of winning the game. Right. You almost say when, when the, when the chiefs kicked a field goal with eight seconds left, there was a part of it was like, wait, they actually, Brady probably has too much time here. Wait too much seconds were the time out. And I hate to admit it, but Hank might be right when he says that that Gronk missed tackle against the dolphins is going to be the start of Patriots DVD. I mean, that was that. There are so many people who threw in that joke too, by the way, that was the overused joke of the day when the chiefs were driving late

with 38 seconds left. They're like, put Gronk in at safety. And that one was great. It was great. It was a great moment for all the Twitter, Twitter jokes are out there. The other thing I loved about the CBS broadcast and someone, someone DM me this. I can't remember. I apologize to the person who pointed this out, but it's spot on. For some reason, they always do a close-up of Andy Reed's face. Oh yeah. And then when they show Bill Belichick, it's the regular like distance away. And I just appreciate that so much by CBS, just giving us the full walrus and his, his mustache is, they're like the leaves in autumn. They're, it's changing colors as he gets older. There's a little gray on the outside, a little red. I, I just love Andy Reed and

what a heartbreaking loss for him. He's got to be kicking himself that he's not getting that White House feast of Burger King and McDonald's. So I have a theory on why they do that. So with Belichick, he's like a Monet painting, right? Yeah. Where like farther away, he looks awesome, but you get close and it's like, well, there's a bunch of weird stuff going on with his face that I wasn't prepared for with Andy Reed. Oil painters. Yes. With Andy Reed, he's more spectacular at the close again. Like if they had a camera that was just Andy Reed's mustache or just his little BDIs twitching back and forth, that'd be awesome. We should just have, have him have a selfie stick coming off his chest. HD plays with Andy Reed. It does. So if you're a

chief's fan, obviously heartbroken, that was a terrible way to lose at home, all that. And Bob Kraft had a nice, not, it wasn't an intentional dig, but it was kind of a dig. He's like, you know, this is the Clark Hunt trophy. We're in the chief's stadium and what a classy guy. And it's like, well, it was important for us to win this. That's got to hurt for chief's fans. But Lamar Hunt or Lamar Hunt, do you, do you, Clark is his son? His son, yeah. Do you walk away from that game being like, well, we have Patrick Mahomes for the next 20 years, we'll be back? Or is it just such a brutal, brutal loss that that one's going to just hover over the city? I think you're fine. I think you're fine. They, they, it sucked to lose this one and suck to lose

at home against the Patriots. But I would much rather have Patrick Mahomes and like, they're talking about a $200 million contract form. I, is that even possible? They have to start paying a lot of their guys, but we'll get to the NFC championship game. But I do feel like the losses are not equal because the NFC championship game, that's probably it. Yeah. I mean, it's close to it for Drew Brees and Sean Payton, those saints. Yeah. For the chiefs, it feels like this is just getting started. Yeah. It's getting started as long as Andy Reed can, can stick around. Right. Like it, have you seen his legs recently? Yeah. He's got the shirt on. You know what he needs to do? He needs to, Andy needs to coach on an inversion table,

the ones that you sleep on, that you get for your back. Just drain some of that blood out of his, out of his calves and get it back up and through his upper body because like, pump it right back up. It's, it's pooling in the calves. Pretty bad. Um, I have an embraced debate for you guys. You ready for this? This is probably the spicy one, the spiciest one I've ever seen. Colin Coward, after the game said, after that drive, I think it's official. Tom Brady is a top 10 QB ever. I mean ever. I'll argue all day about it. Wait, we're including like even the eighties. He said Tom Brady has now gone to the top 10 QB discussion ever. He's right behind. I don't even know what this means. I can't even tell if it's a troll or not. Like you, I mean,

Hank, we want, you watch that game. You're just like, this is, if Tom Brady has the ball, the game's over. I mean, this is it. Joe Montana, who was the goat going into tonight? I think we all agree. Never won an AFC championship in Arrowhead. True facts. Never did it. So I think now you have to say Tom Brady is the best AFC quarterback Volta NFC. Joe Montana is still better to keep on the, uh, the 49ers history. Steve Young, the famous. Now I got the monkey off my back. Tom Brady finally has tied Mark Sanchez for road playoff games. Finally got that monkey office legends, legends, great game, great company to be in. I wonder if Mark Sanchez is in calling Cowards top 10 ever. Probably Mark Sanchez should give Tom Brady a call after the

game like the president to congratulate like, Hey, you finally did it. Hey, you did it, man. Congrats. I've been rooting for you. Brady has more Super Bowl appearances in the Steelers, Cowboys, Broncos, 49ers. We were being nice. We were being nice. I have a, I have a Saber metric stat of the day. You ready for this? Actually, it's more of a fun stat. Um, both of the coaches who sang along with the national anthem lost today. Oh, that's tough. That's tough. Patriotism on the hot seat. It was, it was Peyton and Andy Reed. By the way, why did we not have a microphone satellite dish right in Andy Reed's face while he was singing along to the national anthem? It would have been fantastic. They should have just played that come up. Maybe on inside the NFL,

they'll have that. Oh, I hope so. Hey, inside the NFL, if you want to get viewers, be like, Hey, we have the exclusive audio. We isolated the audio of Andy Reed singing the national anthem. All right. NFC championship game. So Hank, congratulations. The Patriots are in another Super Bowl. Uh, what more can be said? It's only, the only thing that's sad about it is that we have to be Jared. Good friend, Jared Goff. No, we're, we're calling for Jared. All right. Here's, here's one thing we'll, we'll, we'll end on with the AFC championship game. PFC. Now we're talking about this chance, put a percent chance that if the New England Patriots win the Super Bowl, Tom Brady says, I'm off. I'm done. I'm riding off in the sunset, John L. Way style. 75%. Oh, that's pretty

high. Why wouldn't he? That's pretty high. It would be the ultimate way to go out. I, I, I hope he does. I think I would have no problem with him if he did that. Him and Belichick should win the Super Bowl and then not accept the trophy and both retired. Just walk out, Kyle Orton, get into their pickup trucks, go back to Iowa. Belichick should stay. If Brady retires now, that like it's going to give Belichick another quarterback to work. Like if it, if it becomes like the Patriots lose and then Brady and Belichick are both like searching for another Super Bowl win, then, then they might retire together. But if Brady retires now, Belichick is actually going to get that new, that new dog, like new excitement. Yeah. Yeah. Keep him alive

for a little bit longer. Yeah. He's going to stick around until he can finally beat Nick Foles in the Super Bowl. Nick Foles and Eli. Yes. He's going to engineer it so the Giants get to the Super Bowl. So speaking of Nick Foles, we'll a little segue here. The Jeff Fisher quarterback Super Bowl again. So we had Nick Foles under his tutelage Super Bowl MVP. He had Jared Goff, who is now going to the Super Bowl. So the Saints, the Rams, we have to start. I know Saints fans. I doubt even Saints fans, if you're a Saints fan right now, you probably not listening to anything. But we will start with it. The blown call was absolutely terrible. It was egregious. It was horrible. And guess what? You lost the game for other reasons as well. That's true. That's true.

Yeah. No, you're right. It was a terrible call. You don't have to pick one or the other. They should have won the game if it weren't for that call. I think the reason people are focusing in is because it was like an all time bad. It was so blatant. The worst call. Like remember that perfect game that got taken away by the umpire who was at Jim's something where, yeah, the guy from the Rockies had a perfect game going to the ninth. It was just as bad as that. It was awful. The guy got there about five seconds too early. One of the, and almost went to the head. And hit him in the head. Double penalty. Yeah. Well, double jeopardy. That's why they didn't call it. That was one of the worst calls I've ever seen in my life. And we all, all Saints fans, we all

admit it. Like no one, no one's going to sit here and say, well, you know, he might, you know, he, he could have turned his head. Like it was actually bang, bang. No, it was a bad call, but you have to also talk about the game. And I thought the Saints had this game and they let the Rams off the mat when they were up 13, nothing there. I still don't understand when coaches do this. When Sean Payton, the first two drives, they get into the red zone, they kick field goals. Then the third drive, they go for it on fourth down. It's like, why didn't you go for it the first time? It's feel baby. It felt very weird that the Saints, they had, I feel like they had the Rams out and they just couldn't put them away early enough that it like, because if they

go up, you know, if they're up 17, nothing, if they're up 21, nothing, that game is a different game. And the Rams come out, come down first half, get to within three and the second before halftime. It's a totally different game. Yeah. Listen, there were, there were some questionable play calls, but I think like Sean Payton is a guy that doesn't really, I think he doesn't pay attention to advanced stats or anything like that. He just has a risky gut. So like he goes with his gut all the time. It just so happens that his gut is the only one of kind of the older wave of coaches that happens to line up with like the aggressive fourth down strategy. So he, he does it all on field based on like what he sees and like the breeze going through the, the Superdome and how

loud the whistle guy is. The whistle man dominated the game. The whistle guy blows twice, going for it would be nice. He's got these little mnemonic devices. Here are two things I wrote down about Sean Payton's game that were baffling to me. The first is before the penalty, right? So the, they get the Ted Ginn big time pass. There's two minutes left. Sean Payton throws it on first down. If he just runs it on first and second down, the Rams now have to go 40 yards with 50 seconds and no timeouts. Instead, he throws it on first down and the Rams get to go 40 yards with a time out and like a minute and a half left. See that one made no sense. I kind of don't mind that one because that's what they've done all year. But just play the clock. Yeah. Play the clock and

you're most likely going to win that game. That should have been caught. It should have been, well, it wasn't a great throw from Breeze. It should have been a better throw and usually he makes that throw. Drew Brees, I told you Nick Saban was right. The Dolphins were right to take Dante Culpepper and said Drew Brees. He talked about it on Friday. It looks weak. We're dumb, but we're not always the dumbest. We sometimes point out smart things. So Drew Brees, no, his arm, like he missed some throws. He was not the Drew Brees that was even in the beginning of this season when he was fresh and the MVP for a while there. The other Sean Payton thing I don't understand is Taysam Hill, like Sean Payton has something in the back of his head where if Taysam Hill isn't

in on a snap, every like five snaps, he has to throw them in there. Yeah. And he's like, he's like Emeril Lagasi making literally any dish is like, that needs cayenne pepper. He's a little more Taysam Hill. Give him some more cayenne pepper, not enough cayenne pepper. Pow! Bam, bam, bam, bam. He loves it. But Taysam Hill, like you're in the NFC championship game, even with what we just said about Drew Brees' arm, any time you snap the football without Drew Brees under center, you're doing your team a disservice. I get it. There's some fun things you can do with Taysam Hill. He's an electric player. He can run the ball and catch the ball. He can throw the ball, but you, like it was seriously every, every fifth or sixth play like,

oh, we haven't had Taysam Hill. Let's get him in there. What are you doing? Just play it, play the ramp straight up and you probably win that game. Right. We were talking about what weird shit that Sean Payton or Sean McFay was going to cook up for this game. It turns out the weird thing Sean Payton cooked up was just more Taysam Hill than usual. More Taysam Hill. Just like even more than you think is overdone. Like bacon on the internet. Taysam and Taysam. Meets more bacon. Epic Taysam. Yeah. Yeah. So just adds, have you ever had this dish, but with some Taysam Hill? Better with Taysam. So he was good. He's really good to use in short yard situations. He never gets brought down by the first guy that hits him. I understand why he likes him so much, but yeah,

it was overdone. And here's one thing I'll never understand is why they keep the quarterback in at wide receiver. Yes. Drew Brees. That's an extra player. Although I will say Drew has better wide receiver, shall we say gusto? Yeah. Then Joe Flacco. He actually looks like he might catch the pass or like he might be like running some sort of screen route. But it's still, it's this new and I know the league has gone to an offensive place and all these QB whispers and everything. It's similar to the matinee. You having Cleo Mack as a wide receiver and a two point diversion. Like you don't overthink these things. Just play your guys, your best guys, your best situations. You don't, not every play has to have a wrinkle and be genius. You saw it with the Patriots.

They ran the same fucking, it was like basically playing Madden on rookie. They ran the same route to Julian Edelman over and over and over. I will say this though. If Drew Brees was that wide receiver and take some hill had thrown that pass, they would have called that pass interference because Drew would have gone flying like a little rag doll. Oh yes. Oh, I have breaking moves. Breaking moves. Just in actual zebras are offended after today's performance by the ref. That came from Darren Revelle. What a tweet. Yeah. You didn't have to say that. Yeah. What, what a tweet. I knew it was coming from Revelle. Yeah. Well, yeah. A little salty. Did you see him go after me or after someone who just tweeted,

Hey, imagine being the guy who had Duke's minus three and a half. Imagine little, imagine being a zebra and watching this game. Imagine, imagine, he'd be heated. Yeah. You'd be, you'd be so mad. Imagine going to the office water cooler tomorrow and talking about these refs and realizing no one's at work because it's MLK day. Yeah, but we had to be in that guy. Well, yeah, we never stopped working. No, no, to us heroes. Just as we predicted, Bill Vinovich and the rest favored the Rams. Just as we said. Yep. No, opposite. No, no, no. Yeah. Dude, I was going to remember. No, no, it was Bill Vinovich saying everyone knows

I favor the, I go against the Rams. So I got to even it out here. Fix was in the league's fix. Also, I noticed I tweeted this out for all you conspiracy theorists out there. Right after the game was over, they had a commercial ready to go for Rams Super Bowl for NFC champion, Los Angeles Rams t-shirts. How did they get that? How did they get up in three minutes scripted? You know how long a commercial like that takes to edit? That's crazy. So a few more notes that we have to get through the Rams went to full troll mode after the game. So Todd Gurley had the Instagram where he was Jersey swapping with the refs. That felt like a little too soon. I, you know, I know it's all fun and games, but if you're a Saints fan, that's fucking brutal.

Saints fan or a St. Louis Rams fan. That's also brutal. Um, the, did you see Sean McVeigh's quote after he said, the one thing I respect about the rest today is they let the guys play. Yep. That also is brutal to hear football as a man's game. Sometimes you got to hit a receiver who's defenseless in his head. That's also what we used to do. Uh, turns out ready for this kicking matters. Yeah. So Greg's airline kicked one from 60, was it 57? And it was good from 75. I needed this. They fucked up big time on Fox by not having the advanced stats show MBC. How long it would have been good from that we had to guess. Yes. That's not fair to us as viewers. I think it probably would have been good from 80. Yeah, it would have. It was 85. It was,

and I actually tweeted, I was like, should you punt here? Cause I felt like a punt was in play. Cause if you miss that kick, the Rams turn around, get 10 yards and they win the game. But holy shit, what a leg. And I mean, you saw big kicks everywhere all weekend. Are we still calling them young GZ Greg? I think he's, isn't he the legatron? Legatron, Greg, the leg. Yeah, Greg, the leg. I like young GZ Greg. Shout out your third leg. And then we have to get to the most important thing. Sean McVeigh owns us sweets in the Super Bowl. He does. He is, he is on tape agreeing to this during the interview. Let's play. Let's put in the tape. Here it is. You were a part of birthday week just so you know. Oh you are? Yeah.

When did you break that? January 24th. Okay. So it's 86. You're one year younger than us. That's fine. We're January 30th, 31st and Danny Woodhead is the 27th. 27th. I love it. You're welcome to birthday week. Hey, where is it at? Uh, wherever you want. It's a state of mind more. It's like a real football guys were born in the last week of January. So where are you going to get us? How much money do you have? Yeah, we'll just take some cash on you. Hopefully we're still playing with you guys. Okay, so yeah, perfect. A Super Bowl box from Sean McVeigh for for birthday week. In a ring. Yeah. And maybe we get to go to the party. And we get to call off. If we're ever having that conversation, the only thing maybe you went a little too far with was his first

play of the game, but everything else I can go with. Okay. Last play of the game. Yeah. All right. You got that done. I like that. That was Sean McVeigh in August when we talked about birthday week. He has the same week birthday that we have week wise. We remember birthday week's coming up. So everyone just get us gifts, whatever. Happy pre-lated birthday. Thanks, Iverson. Sean McVeigh said that he would get us a ring if the Rams win, get us a suite at the Super Bowl. And I don't think he fully took off the table that we can call the first play. Well, he said that we could call the last play as a kneel down. We actually already called that. What would you call first play if you call it? First play, I'm going to go with fumble Rusky.

Okay. I would go, Jared Goff just runs as fast as he can back out of the end zone and we bet a million dollars on the prop for your safety. Oh, I like that. Or Jared Goff just throws a ball up to us in the suite and says, there you go. Best friends. That would be perfect. The best friends. Perfect. So yeah, Sean McVeigh, like, Hey, guess what? The best part about this is Sean McVeigh. Have you heard? He has a photographic memory. So no way he forgot this. No, he has to. Yes, he has to remember. The guy who remembers everything definitely remembers this. So I don't know how we play this. Like, should we just hit up the Rams over and over? Should we like stand crocky? Let's not make this a big deal. Just let us in your booth or your suite. I think we just

operate under the assumption that we're on the list. Yeah. Like Sean McVeigh is a coach of integrity. He's a good man. He would never lie. He would never do anything disingenuous. So I have to assume that he already has us on that list. Yes. We also have a suite. We'll see you down Atlanta. Yeah. And we'll also be selling some of our suite tickets and we'll also just not mention the fact that we're definitely going to be leaving Atlanta on Saturday morning because we always do, but we're going to play hardball. Yep. Sean McVeigh, we're going to the Super Bowl. Thanks for the never been to a Super Bowl buddy. This is going to be awesome. This is going to be great. Yeah. Hank, you're not getting those tickets, by the way. If somehow we get two tickets, we're selling them.

Sweet. We're getting a whole suite. Yeah. We're getting a whole suite. The only question is whether we have to buy the menu ourselves. Like, do we have to stock the suite? That's fine. We'll just bring in like Bojangles. We'll meet you halfway, Sean. We'll stock the suite. We will bring our own liquor and food. You just buy the suite. Yeah. And it's just going to be Mad Dog and little mini hot dogs. Yep. Pigs in a blanket and a shitload of Buffalo Wild Wings and bags of soda. I love it. So that is, I mean, what a championship Sunday. Football is dying. Remember last year when football was dying guys? You know what? I'm proud to have not have boycotted the NFL because boy, would I feel like a trumpet. Oh, man. Boy, would I feel like

an idiot. It's the best. This weekend was in a word life affirming. I was going to say orgasmic. Yeah. Well, not for Romo. Yeah. It was unbelievable. Do you think Romo has to change pants at half time? I think he probably does. Yeah. I think he's got a good. He ejaculated in our ear multiple times. And I'm fine with it, Jim. The eargasm is okay by me. It was a one to remember. I mean, my heart was just beating for both games because it was two over times and, and there's something special about, we knew going into this over his time, like attorney, attorney's general. Yeah. Over his time, over his time. It was something special about going into a championship weekend, being like, these games are awesome. And then having them exceed the hype because that rarely

happens. You know, we, I was going in expecting one of these games probably going to be a blowout. That just happens more often than not. But no, we got two instant classics and apologies to Saints fans, apologies to chiefs fans. Those are two brutal losses. You know what I mean? Like brutal losses. Yeah. So the Super Bowl is going to be awesome. We know that. We knew that going into this weekend that no matter what combination it was, it was going to be cool. It just got a little bit better because the Rams are wearing their blue and yellow uniforms. Yes. And CJ Anderson looks awesome. Awesome. In that blue uniform. And he looked, I didn't like how he looked today. And it was kind of like, you know, I like the blueberry look. By the way,

what's up with Todd Gurley? Oh, he's, he's hurt or faking it. Do you think he's hurt? He's, yeah. Art Shaw McVay thinks CJ Anderson is better running back. Or maybe he got those cats and he's allergic just like half the population is. Weird. So his cardio is worse. It is weird. Also Aaron Donald, like that guy playing football is just, I mean, he's, it looks half the time like no one's blocking him, but they're double teams. Right. And he was just swimming through double teams. And we should mention the Rams, I love when teams go for it, like they go all in for something. The Rams did that this year getting sue. And then Dante Fowler, who they traded for, who was a bust, sort of a bust in Jacksonville, he makes the big play

to get the Drew Brees interception over time. So credit to the Rams for like any team that's like, you know what, we're going for it. I love when teams do that. And they're a little bit like been, but don't break on defense, but they get the big play. Right. Michael Thomas not, did not have the day that, uh, he did get his ass had a big day though. You see that? His ass, his ass made a big, big showing or that, that was the real super moon was when he got tackled by his pants and his butt crack turned up. And then they, uh, Fox did a cutaway shot to an overhead shot of the dome. Oh yeah. Yes. That was fantastic. I have one last question. Is the dome, the mystique of the dome, does it take a hit now? No, I think whistle man, if anything,

instead of bringing whistles, they should have brought flags and throw them on the field during that. Speaking of famous fans, I have some intel that our good friend Marlins man is out in Las Vegas right now for the avians. No way. Shut up. We need to have it. We need to take a call for Marlins man. He's out there watching porn and trying out sex dolls for all the first responders out there. It seems like the saints game was like 17 hours ago. So I already forgot about it, but whistle man, everyone was saying like, fuck with the guy with the whistle, like shut them up and all the saints fans were like, Oh, he's our super fan. But then there was like 10 videos of fans just blowing whistles. Well, there was, there was a Sean Peyton guy who had a whistle, which is

definitely illegal. That's what I'm saying. Go into a stadium with a whistle. Saints fans like, Oh no, that's not a real whistle. That's just a fan like whistling, but it was like, no, they were showing videos of many fans blowing real whistles. It's like in South Africa with the Vuvuzela. That's New Orleans custom is to just bring a whistle into the stadium and fuck with everybody. All right, let's do who's back. Hank. My who's back the week is here we go. Big Draco soldier. Oh, okay. Who big Draco? Okay, I know. I know. Soldier boy. Soldier boy. Is that the same as Drake? That's his nickname. No, he actually invented the name Draco. Drake probably took it from him. He invented Drake, right? Yeah. He invented Drake. He he so he did a

breakfast club interview, which is now the most viewed breakfast club interview of all time. I watched it like three times this weekend. It's so fucking funny. Very, very funny. No fucking hilarious. But uh, he claims he had the biggest comeback 2018, which he probably did. He's selling he's got a video game. He's got a new album. He's got everything. No, no, no, no, no, no. He's got a video console console. Big difference. First rapper with a console. Huge difference. Yeah. That's selling really well. No, he just found a shitload of old Dreamcasts and put it in a box and just relabeled. Yeah. Like there's no, there's no games that come with it. No, you guys are just, you guys are just hating and that's, but the

hating has helped him become the biggest, biggest comeback rapper 2018. He's back. He's going to have a huge 2019. I mean, look, I respect soldier boy. He came into the bar still office last week, walked in with a huge, like probably about 15 people. We don't say the P word. It was a crew and he just yelled soldier boy in the house to no one. And it was right then I was like, you know what, this guy gets it. Yeah. I respect anybody that can just make a song out of going, Oh, and Superbowl in his city. Yeah. There you go. Big Draco. We should, we should try and go anyway. We're saying Atlanta is soldier boys city. I think so. The most famous rapper to ever come out of Atlanta, soldier boy, soldier boy. Yup. That's definitely true. If you

asked soldier boy, he would say that is number two Dwight Howard. Wasn't he on a rap album once? Probably. Yeah. That's when he was trying to be Shaq. Yeah. Exactly. All right. You got anything else? I'll reference back to, but oh yes, Friday. So, uh, Superbowl in Atlanta, it's going to be awesome. We also have, so I don't know if we've announced this, let's just say there is, there, you know how like there's always been fantasy bets. If you lose a fantasy bed, it's ha ha ha. You have to go get a tattoo, which be everyone did a tattoo. There is a fighter who's fighting in rough and rowdy who is fighting solely because he finished last in his fantasy league, which is an awesome thing. And he may be in a fantasy league with a quarterback in the Superbowl. Yes. Awesome

Tom Brady. No, no, Brian Hoyer. All right. Who you got? My who's back of the week is the apocalypse. Oh, so as we know, it's super wolf blood moon tonight. Yep. We are howling and we are howling and there is a preacher Paul Begley from West Lafayette, Indiana. Okay. And he says, obviously these apocalyptic signs in the heavens are pointing to a catastrophic event that is just on the horizon. We don't know when, but you're going to have a super blood moon on January 20th through 21st. And that means on January 22nd, all hell is going to break loose. Fuck. Yeah. Okay. What's January choice? What do we have? There's these signs that are starting to be revealed, he says. Okay. So what were they? That means you don't have to pay up your back today. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

So this episode, the lost tapes. Yes. No one's ever going to listen to it. Nope. It's the word we so if you listen to this, you're dead and you're one of the lucky few. You're a zombie because you're listening to it and you should be dead. Yeah. Yeah. So enjoy. Awesome. Anything else? No, that's just it. Just one who's back in the week. I got two who's backs. The first is the Drake curse. So Drake had a little fun with the Drake curse and was like, hi, everyone thinks the teams I root for get cursed. Well, he put out an Instagram where he had all the teams logos on his shirt, his Photoshop. But then it was a curse because we had like the best championship Sunday ever. So he, he was like, haha, look at this guys. I'm cursing all the teams and then we had the greatest

football, two greatest football games like ever. He seems upset. He seems a little upset. Yeah. So who are his real teams? I guess, Emma, Kentucky, probably the Patriots, Notre Dame, the Patriots, the Cowboys, the Lakers. Well, no, he doesn't like the Eagles because of Meek Mill, right? Yeah. The Lakers. No, they squash that beef. The Lakers, the Warriors, the Rockets, the Rockets, the Raptors, the Globetrotters. The Raptors a little bit. He likes them a little bit. He likes them till the second round. Yeah. The Yankees. Don't forget the Harlem Globetrotters. Red Sox. He's probably a big Mike Trout guy, even though they don't get to the playoffs. Big fan of the Yukon women's basketball. Yep. The Capitals and the Penguins. Yeah.

So he's on a hot streak. Yeah. Good for him. Good. He's had a hell of a three years. Jesus. Yeah. My other who's back is Super Bowl Storylines. So we'll get to more next week for Super Bowl Storylines, but let's just get this one out there. Sean McVeigh homecoming. I don't know if you guys heard, but he's from the Atlanta area and he won't, and he was a quarterback in the state title at the Georgia Dome. I did hear that. So we're going to see that so much. That's a nice way of saying that he lost the state title. I don't know if he lost. Oh, because he said the way that you said, I didn't know. I don't know if he won or not. I'm just going to assume that he lost that game. He's too short. Sure. I hadn't seen the picture

of his bull cut until today. That thing is unbelievable. Yeah. Well, hopefully he gets us that sweet that he promised us. The other one that we're going to be on the lookout for is dynasty beginning and ending, perhaps with the Rams. Yep. And also old, you know, the old guard, Belichick, the new guard, Sean McVeigh, offensive, defensive. Wow, this is going to be great. We'll give you a full rundown of all the Storylines. Oh, yeah. You want to do that on Wednesday? We'll do it Wednesday. We'll get them all. But just be on a big time lookout for Sean McVeigh. He's going home. Gotcha. Ready. We should make a Sean McVeigh I'm coming home video and just have it just be the

bull cut and him promising us the sweet over and over so that people get viral and they're like, whoa, did he really do that? Did he really promise that sweet to those, those fucking two guys in the back of a van? Oh, we should, you should blog it tomorrow as if you're not the person and sub, like the subject of it. Like Sean McVeigh promises. Sean McVeigh promises two bloggers. Yeah. Super Bowl sweets. If they're, and rings, if the Rams guess, I will. Good call Hank. All right. Let's, let's get to our interview. We have Baron Davis on the show. So this interview is brought to you by our friends at Squarespace. So you guys probably know this, but Squarespace last year, we had a great business idea to make your draft, Josh Allen,

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and it's all brought to you by hell of a good dip. Go check it out right now and get ready for Super Bowl Sunday. Okay, here he is. Baron Davis. We now welcome on former NBA All-Star. You're always an All-Star. NBA All-Star Baron Davis. He has a new show coming out, WTF Baron Davis, January 20th, Fuse TV. I nailed that. Thank you. What's going on? Be Diddy. Man, just, you know, trying to be an actor and make a show. Okay. One of my first experiences, I guess, with you outside of basketball was, I remember seeing a video on Funny or Die of You and was it who was it? Steve Nash. Steve Nash riding a tandem bicycle. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yes. That went viral before going viral was the thing. I was like, what the hell are these guys

doing riding around LA on a tandem bike? And it was all a big advertisement for something that you were doing. Step brothers. Yeah, there you go. So you got me. You tricked me. Thank you, man. So did you get in with those guys from Funny or Die? Because I know you've done some other stuff. Yeah, I did. We started with Funny or Die and did a bunch of stuff. At the time, I had my own platform called Ibichu.com and it was a social media for competition. And so it was like the best viral spoof for step brothers. And that's when I, you know, Steve Nash and I were doing, started doing like a lot of video content and viral content. We wanted to, you know, just kind of like change things up and show more of a creative side, a creative side of athletes.

What does Ibichu, just like an app for people that want to get their ass kicked by Baron Davis? No, I think it was 2004 or five maybe. And it was basically social media before the iPhone based on competition. So best dress to best free throws. It was just basically peer to peer competition on a platform. I mean, it should have been worth like 400 million bucks. Yeah, but what happened? It happened to, you know, it happened to, it was, it was too, it was too early. You're too ahead of the curve. Okay. I like that. So what's this show, WTF Baron Davis, what is, what's the premise for it? You're, you're with your friends and it's a life in the day of Baron Davis. Yeah. So it's like, it's, it's like a part of my life, right? And you have this

social media star, Brandon Armstrong, B dot a dot, coming to me for an investment, right? And you know, with me, it's, it's, it's hard to get me to invest in someone, but because I liked him, you know, because I like him and I think he's, you know, a smart kid, I offered, I offer him mentorship, right? And like an internship, a mentorship to help him get to where he needs to go. So are you open for investments? Cause Hank actually has something for you. Hank, give him the idea. You ready for this? How much cash do you have that you're willing to invest? Which I did, am I giving the new one? Yeah, the new one. So basically just combining a listerine and Nyquil and just turning it into one, one stop shop for all your nighttime needs.

That's dope. Now you might have some questions that come up naturally. I want you to know all those questions. I'm pretty sure. We're not ready for the same color. Well, we got, you know, we got a show on the show called celebrity pitch tech. So you can go and do that on your celebrity pitch. So what do you think about that? It's pretty decent. I compare that to the wolf whistle. What's the wolf whistle? The wolf whistle called wolves to you. So when you're on a hike, you blow the whistle and actually attract wolves. And what do you do with them then? You don't fuck the wolves, do you? No, no. You blow the whistle and you know, instead of like a wolf repellent, it's a wolf summoner. So it's kind of like, think about like

Game of Thrones, right? And we've never seen an episode of Game of Thrones. Oh my God, you guys are fucking losers. Just Khaleesi dies. You are a loser. We don't watch the board game TV show with dragons. Give it to me straight. What's your favorite potion in whatever game from? I would assume you would watch Game of Thrones with your hair. Yeah. I thought I think you're mimicking Jon Snow. I think you're mimicking almost. Yeah. Hey, give it to me. He never makes me. Give it to me straight. I'm the one you die. Yeah, she already died. Fuck, man. Spoiler. Yeah, she died already. What the hell? Is she actually dead? I feel like Aryan Foster would be in the market for your wolf whistle. He's always trying to fight wolves. Yeah. You talked to him about that?

I haven't. He would be dope. I didn't invest in the wolf whistle though, but it was a good idea. Okay. So with your co-star, what's his name again? I'm sorry, I forgot. Brandon Arstone. So he's a guy that mimics NBA players shots. You see him do James Harden. You see him do all these guys. Do you think that there's a little bit with probably with James Harden, I would imagine that season. He's like, haha, that's funny, but he actually wants to kill him. No, I think he's just like, you know, I think it's kind of fun. What guy that you played with in the NBA would not find that funny. Who'd be like, fuck that. Don't mimic me. A lot of people back in my day, like everybody was mean, dude. Like, you know, I play with Anthony Mason. You know, I play with Derek

Coleman, Steven Jackson. And he wouldn't be, you know, now you'd be cool with it. But before, like before, you know, the era we was in, it was, you don't, you don't talk shit, you know, I bet they're at the fight. You have to fight. Yeah. Now people don't have to fight. They just, like all they can, they can kill you just off, off posting memes in a day, right? Yeah. Yeah. Derek Coleman ever tried to fight you? No, he punched me one time. What was that? How'd that happen? He just came in a locker room and punched me for one reason because I let Steve Kerr hit a three. It was like, it was getting blown out. One three or multiple? No, I hit like three. Okay. Now we're getting the full story. But he was like, yo, don't let that motherfucker hit another three. And I was

like, man, we already losing by 30. What the fuck are you talking about? And he was like, that motherfucker bent and I hit another three. And he came down and he hit a three. And I looked over the sideline and he was just like, socking his fist. Like, I'm gonna fuck you up. And then we went back down. And I think I went to the home, missed the layup and fell. And all I could see was Steve Kerr running towards the fucking, the wing, spotting up wide open. And you can see it in slow motion. I'm like hauling ass. He goes up, he gets the ball, he gets ready to shoot. And I'm like flying from half court, jump. He pumped things. I fly by him. He takes one dribble, hits another three. And after the game, Derek Coleman said, well, I tell you, I said, man.

Hey, why you do that? And that's what happened. That's why he punched her. Hit those threes. I was a rookie. I think I was a rookie. That's fantastic. I was gonna say, you think about punching him back or you were too little at the time? No, not at the moment. You know what I mean? If anything, I would have had to like kick him in the knee and like run somewhere, but it wasn't nowhere to run. So I had to go back to the bus. Derek, you know, it's just certain dudes. You don't, you know, it's like, why would I fight Derek Coleman? You know what I mean? You're like a bear. You got to like, you know, you got to go hunt somebody like Derek Coleman. You know what I mean? Skin up, put them, you know,

stuff them, put them on your wall. You cannot beat him up. You know what I mean? It's like fighting a real bear. Who's, uh, who's the best trash talker you played for or against or with or against? Um, Stephen Jackson was great at trash talking. Yeah. Oh my God. He was, he was really good. He was great and he was intimidating at the same time. And I would say like Kevin Garnett was probably like one of the bigger trash talkers. Yeah. He seemed mean. Did he ever like get really mean with you? No, I'm not worried about none of that. You know, I'm mean too. You know what I mean? So it's like all the mean shit that, that, that didn't bother me. But he, he, Kevin Garnett is, is good at like knowing how to antagonize people and like, you know, get under people's

skin. Yeah. But the main part, like, you know, back in our day and the main part that, you know, if you, if you're a G, you're a G. If you're not like you, you're going to walk to the free throw line and not say nothing. You know what I mean? Right. Right. Right. The best players kind of respect each other and everyone else. For the most part. Yeah. Yeah. Back then, not so much. Like the best players kind of all hated each other and had like real, like some type of underlying beef. You know what I mean? So it's kind of like when you messed up with somebody, you had like a little extra oomph to want to prove something. So do you think that there's merit in like, uh, you know, a lot of people talk shit about the current crop of NBA players a little bit saying like,

you know, uh, we actually didn't like each other back when I played now. Everybody at the top is like too close with each other. So the competition, it's like friendly competition. It's not the same. Is that, do you find that to be true? Uh, I think that times evolve, times change, even when, uh, like you got to think as the game evolved, like I missed maybe like the last five years because of injury, right? Um, but if I was playing in those last five years, I can look and see that there's, there were 30 guys who've been to my camp. Right. That are in the NBA. We're little kids, right? We're little kids in my camp. So why wouldn't we be friends? Right? I think that, you know, me coming into the NBA and seeing that everybody had to pretty much have their own click, right,

or their own support group to support them, you know, it was different, right? Because you're kind of coming in and it's like, damn, I'm like losing friends, right? I'm like, you know, everything, every time I see a Jason Terry or Andre Miller or Steve Francis or, you know, people like that, it's always competition, right? Um, because we didn't grow up on the same AAU team in people's basketball camp. But once we all got older, Sean, Mary's, Garnett's, everybody like that, all the camps we started having, right? We going back, mentor, mentor and these kids and giving back to these kids. And that's the, that's mellow, mellow state in my house, uh, in New Orleans the, the night before, um, the NCAA, uh, Final Four. Really? That's crazy. Is that a violation?

Did you just admit to an NCAA violation? We can, we can, we can go back and stay at my house the night before like he came over my house, stay and hung out. He bought us own food? No. Oh, so he got, you gave him. We didn't eat. Yeah. There you go. Nice. You know what, you are, you white boys always trying to get some black people in trouble, man. What about all the time you feed your home boys? I'm trying to get Jim Beahime in trouble. Yeah. No, we can't get bit, why do you want to do that? Now, why do you want to, Hey, it's like a really guy speaking at college basketball, what the hell's going on at UCLA? I'll see you there. You go. I mean, what the hell's going on? You guys should be,

like UCLA should be a premier program and it's, I, it just baffles me. Uh, you know, I just think that one, um, you know, shout out to the school for, you know, having the, uh, the husband to, you know, get rid of a coach in the middle of the year. And I think that, you know, I would say the same thing that I was saying about, uh, the mix earlier is you have to start at the top and you have to be willing to start from somewhere and have goals to get, you know, and have goals. And I think that with UCLA over the last few years, we've been, uh, we've had a high expectation, right? But we haven't, we haven't held ourselves, you know, all the way accountable of those expectations. And so, you know, you can't expect A plus work, right? From, uh, you know, a B minus

student at best, right? Or a C plus student at best. And I think that when we are thinking about our coaches, right? You know, um, we're, you know, we're not allowing ourselves to get a student of the game to grow to an A plus coach. Let me throw out a name for you. Rick Petino. No. Come on. I mean, if you want hookers in the locker room, this is LA. Imagine what he was doing in Louisville. Yeah, you want hookers. We don't need that. We got LA. We don't need Rick Petino, man. I, you know, a shout out to Rick Petino. He's a good coach, but like all that shit that was going on in Louisville. Like what do you think he's going to do in LA? We don't need Rick Petino. I think for UCLA is actually a golden opportunity for them to be smart like the Rams, right? Go get a young dude

who cares, right? Who really cares, who wants to be there for a long time, right? Who cares about the school, who cares about the program. And it, and their number one dedication is to the school and to the program and not their own personal Ed O'Bannon, an Earl Watson. Oh, okay. Earl Watson with you. Yeah, I definitely, I definitely have a staff. Yeah. Hell yeah. Let's go. Have you gotten into coaching at all? I coached in the Ju League and, you know, my camps, but I can't coach. Like, you know, I think being a point guard and being a starting point guard in the league for you, like the majority of your career, like you learn, you have to learn every position. You have to learn every personality. You almost have to learn how the team operates and run,

right? And you are the closest person to the coach. So the dude, like the good, you're taking the good and the bad of each coach that has affected you along your career. You can implement that into your own system. And not only that, a point guard knows how to kind of manage personalities and build confidence at the same time, right? So I think, you know, it's possible. So you're the coach. You're the next coach. You play your coach in the Ju League, right? Yeah. Yeah. I coached the last year. I didn't play the last year. I just coached. Okay. How would you manage LeBron James personality? You have to challenge LeBron, right? You know, LeBron going to always challenge himself, but

you have to, you have to find little things in the game that could be challenging to LeBron that would ultimately dictate a better outcome, right? And so for me, like my challenges to LeBron would be of, you know, more team oriented, team oriented things. I know you can dominate the game, right? But it would, you know, it'd be the challenge of, you know, how many, you know, can you set five incredible picks to get somebody open, right? Can you set a backdoor screen, you know, things off the ball that allows his teammates to like, so he's in the play, but not in the play, but still affecting the play. So it's like little things like that. And then also just listening. You know what I mean? I think when you got a player like LeBron, as a coach, you have to listen

because this guy is extremely smart, right? He's the best player in the game and he knows what the fuck he's doing. So if I'm listening to what he's, what he's saying, I actually, it's like Belichick and Tom Brady. Tom Brady's on the field. He going to pick you apart. And if a coach calls a play and he audibles, I got to be cool with that, whether it goes right or wrong, right? If he throws interceptions, so what? If it's in the first quarter, I know that this kid is going to win the game for me and he saw something, right? And so that same play could be the winning play at the end of the game. I liked it. I like the comparison between LeBron and Tom Brady. I don't think that people do that enough. And I think Hank also appreciates that. You got abducted by aliens?

Oh no. They asked me that on the last podcast. It's just some dumbass New York shit. And it's a dumb, I was on a dumb podcast with a dumb dude named Bill Brennan. And he basically, we were cracking jokes and talking like this. And if I were to tell an alien story, I'm sure you guys wouldn't believe me. You know what I mean? I would. I definitely would. So I was telling the joke and all in all, he basically said that he was going to edit it because he was just joking around. And then that was the first thing he put out. That you saw an alien? Yeah. It was like clickbait or dude trying to boost his career, not really knowing what he's doing. And you guys aren't friends? So he was doing that? No, I didn't even really know him. I did that as a favor for a friend

late night to like, you know, I didn't want to be on that shit. Let's make sure we edit this so it sounds like Baron Davis knows how to challenge LeBron because no one else can. No, no, no. If you tell me, you don't edit it and you don't send it to me and you put it out. Then when I see you, I'm going to whoop your ass. Okay, that's fair. You don't have to worry about that. I'm punching in both sides of your neck. Okay, that's fair. We don't do clickbait. We don't do got your moments. Do you have an apocalypse bunker? Apocalypse bunker? There we go. Okay. I have an island I bought for the apocalypse. Where is the island? Why the fuck would I tell you? That's a good point. Give me the ocean that it's in. Why would I even tell you? Just tell me the ocean.

The ocean's a big place. It's the ocean. It's by the ocean. Pacific Atlantic? Yeah, it's one of them. I guess they're probably connected. It's one of the oceans that connect. It's all one ocean. Hey, here's a good question. Is it true that ball is life? Is it true that what? Ball is life. What does that mean? Ball is life. Like it's ball life. Like the website? No, ball is life. I guess you're not a real basketball player. Yeah, I think that's for people like you who don't really hoop. You know what I mean? And it's like you love basketball and it's like, oh yeah, ball is life. But for us, it's like we don't say that because it's actually like, it's a lifestyle. Like we create a lifestyle. So ball is lifestyle?

No, it's just lifestyle, dog. You gotta live it. You gotta stop using the buzzwords. Okay. Look, you got the swag. Yeah. Right. But that's a ball is life swag. Yes. You dig what I'm saying? So halfway there. So when you're walking down the street in New York, it's like you want people to know like, y'all, I'm hip hop. I love hoop, shit like that. You know, ball, like you're walking hashtag right now. Ball is life. We don't have to say it. We gotta dumb it down. Then I'm a cop. You feel what I'm saying? We gotta dumb it down. We gotta like, you know, you can't go with the full champ sweatsuit. You just gotta go with the pants and like a Nike jacket. You know what I mean? That's a perpetrator. No, no, no. That's not perpetrating. It is. No, you got Nike shoes on.

I do. Fuck. You see what I'm saying? So you gotta learn to miss, you know, it's like the dude who shows up at the runs wearing like the full, you know, like wearing a like a whole Cleveland, Cleveland calf shorts, LeBron jersey, LeBron shoes, wristband and all that. It's like, that's hashtag ball is life. Right. He caught on late. He caught on late. He picked up on the wave. But like somebody like me, I'd be in like sweatpants, mitts and match socks, probably some, some, some type of house shoes that I shouldn't be playing basketball. So like not trying, trying to not try. You gotta be it. Yeah. I do have the game of the guy you described. Do you? Yeah. Okay. Just can't shoot people out, picks, picks, set and picks. Dude,

I hate you. I hate you. Maybe saying just as a joke, but not a joke. Hey, what if we, what if we did a zone here? Like that kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. You're the type of guy that people hate. I would love for you to be on my team because I would never gonna shoot and I'll get you the ball. And I, and I make you guard the best player on your team. That's how you get your wrinkles, bro. Yeah. No, but, but that, you know, I found a guy like you who, who doesn't really play and kind of, I feel would be like a slightly clumsy. Oh, you would be, I would be afraid to make a movie. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely. It's almost like, damn, dude. Like, why do you Why do you have to guard me? Because ball is life. Right. I'll slap the floor. Let's go.

Would you rather play against the dude that sets the screens or the dude that takes the charges? Oh, uh, the, the chart, the charge guy, the charge guy in the gym is usually like the tallest guy in the gym that is super fragile. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I don't mind the charge, the charge guy. The picks are serious. Yeah. Right. Yeah. It's like, yeah. I'm like waking up. I just have some coffee. Yeah. You know, I still got sleep in my eye and what the fuck are you doing sending this pic, dude? Yeah. I have a math question for you. Yeah. Why do you play pickup hoops by ones and twos and not twos and threes? Um, just preference. Yeah. Because it makes it makes the three point shooter more valuable when they're worth twice as much

in which you're playing by ones and twos. If that's what you think, it overvalues. It's the same. It's the same. Like when you think about it, it's the same number. But when you play on ones and twos, hang on, you broke my brain for a second. Yeah. It's the same. It's the same number. When you're thinking about ones and twos, it's like you're just getting closer to, you know, a smaller number. So that smaller number actually causes more panic. Right. So if you were playing to, you know, if we're playing the seven, right, it's like you're looking at it and it's like, yo, I got a, you know, I got seven points to me, like seven possessions. When it's 14, you kind of look at it as a bigger number and the game wouldn't have

the same type of intensity. Right. Yeah. And so the, the more you lower, you know, the number, right, even if it was 14, if you say it's seven, then the, a two pointer, right, gets you closer to that, to that seven and you're looking at that number. You know, in sports, you're looking at that seven as the goal, right? And so you, when it's, when it's 14, you feel like you have a little bit more room for error and everybody else. So they, so it feels like it would be a longer game. Okay. I like that answer. It's, it broke my brain for a second because it was like Bill Walton's answer to like just being, it's all one number. It's all one song. It's just one number. I mean, it's, it's the same, it's the same game. It's the same, you know,

it's all one ocean, right? You can, you can score, you can score fives and tens. What would that mean? You can score fives and tens like 15 pointer, you know, if, if, if the number, you still got to get to a hundred, you know, you still got to get to a hundred. You got to, you know, pretty much fuck around and shoot 10 pointers. You know what I mean? Because you could care less. So the bigger that number is inflated, the more margin of error, more margin of error you have. All right. My last question, everyone check out WTF Baron Davis on Fuse TV, January 20th. That's when it premieres. My last question, the thing you're more proud of, warriors, eight seed, beating a one seed or dropping 60 on the maroon five dude in high school?

Probably warriors. Okay. But you did drop 60 on Adam Levine. That's pretty fucking sick. Yeah, that was easy. I mean, that wasn't like, it was Adam Levine. Have you ever talked to him since? Yeah, I talk to him all the time. We live in the same neighborhood. We talk about this shit all the time. But like the, and, and I always say the first, my very first concert that I went to was, uh, yes, like eighth grade, like ninth grade. Yeah. Uh, wait, how did that? Oh no, one of his, one of his before maroon five years. Yeah, before when he was in high school, his first band. Yeah. Yeah. I got that. That does suck from like, you've been following him around his whole life, just being more famous than him. No, he's more famous than me. When did

he overtake you? Maroon five, dude. Like, yeah. They're like imagine dragons on Quailudes. They're, they're nothing compared to ID. Yeah. I don't know. Adam Levine, he's on the, on the voice every night. That's pretty big. That's pretty big. Do you ever get mad that you were like the pre-warriors? Like, do you think you should? No, I mean, I don't get crashed and get credit for anything, but for what we did and what we accomplished, but shit, am I mad? Hell yeah, I want a championship. It'd be nice to like, it'd be nice to like, get a champion. It would have been nice to got, you know, got one. Come back to play for the warriors. I know it's tough, man. Join the team. Gotta get in shape, dude. You can't just, you know, just show up.

Yeah, you probably could. Right? Just be the 12th guy. Be the Derek Coleman. Try to fight anyone. Try to tell people if he lets someone hit a three, you're gonna punch them. Kick them in the nuts. I got, I got one last question for you. When we have hockey players on the show, we always give them 60 seconds to bash the NBA. And when we have NBA players on, we give them 60 seconds to bash hockey. So go ahead and bash hockey. Floor is yours. Man, I don't have, you know, I don't do no hockey bashing. You know, I'm a handshake line is kind of overrated. Yeah. I'm a LA Kings fan. You know, I think that I like hockey because, you know, dudes like to fight, you know, they don't have, they don't have teeth and they mouth.

You know, I got a lot of respect for the hockey dudes. I grew my beard because of the hockey guys. Did you think James Harden is swagger jacking you? No, I think he just, you know, a little bit though. He got his own style, man. That ain't my beard, right? He got his own beard. I took the flow from the hockey guys because they wouldn't shave during, and they run for the playoffs. Yep. And that's how I got my beard during the playoffs for the Warriors and kind of like, yeah, I got the whole fear to beard thing. That's when that launched. So, you know, no, no, no disrespect on the hockey people. You know what I mean? I like, I like hockey. You know, it's one of my

favorite sports to kind of play. Like my hidden talent. I'm great on skates. Really? Yeah. I fuck you up, dude. You want to play? Okay. All right. I think you want to fuck me up for like many different reasons. I want to fuck you up more. Yeah. A lot of your hashtag balls. Yeah, I know. I know. What's going to be tough for us to get over that. I'm so upset. But I'll set a pick for you if you want to. All right. If you set a pick, we're good. Hard pick. Yeah. That's all I need and guard the other team. Best play. Oh yeah. Open all the time. All right, Baron. Thank you so much. It's been fun. Good luck with the new show. Everyone go watch it. Fuse TV, WTF Baron Davis premiering

January 20th. Congratulations on having the number one show. Oh, thank you. Appreciate it. Took you long enough to get us a compliment. Is it called WTF or what the fuck? They can't say what the fuck. So you got to say WTF Baron Davis. Did it hurt you giving us a compliment? I mean, we literally did this whole show just for you to give us a compliment. No, it didn't hurt. It didn't hurt. I mean, everybody in here just seems to be talking about, oh, we got the number one show. We got the number one show. Like, we got the number one show. We got the number one show. Like, so fucking what, dude? I don't even know these motherfuckers. You know what I mean? Now that I know y'all,

congratulations. Oh, thank you. I see why you have the number one show. Yeah, you're from Ball's Life. Ball's Life, I tell you. It's a real shame if that apocalypse punkers thing blew up and you got burned again by a random podcast. Real shame. I know. That interview with Baron was brought to you guys by Honey with millions of top-rated sellers offering the exact same products on Amazon. Finding the best deals feels like looking for an invisible needle in the world's biggest haystack. But thanks to Honey, the free browser extension, I always get the best price on Amazon without lifting a finger. Honey automatically goes to work whenever I shop on Amazon. It compares the prices of every seller that carries the item that

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better and you know what? Greenie loves NFL overtime, so I stand with Greenie and I'm saying I'm totally fine with this, but remember that it was like seven years ago that they changed you overtime moves because of the Saints in there because they were like, well, what if Brett Favre doesn't get a chance to have the ball in his hand and slinging around one last time? By the way, was that no call in the Saints game? Retribution finally for Bounty Gate? Yes. I think we can say with confidence. Absolutely. So the overtime, the only thing I would, if they wanted to switch it to college, college is too close for like the NFL 25 yards like everyone can make that kick. Move it to the 50 yard line. Everyone gets a possession. I'm

fine with that, but I actually have no problem with it either because stop them. Stop them. I mean, the rule changes were great because now you can't win with field goal on the first possession. Also, your boy Greenie was high today because he said that Alvin Cameron was the best player in the game that Aaron Donald was playing in. Well, it's okay. Greenie doesn't watch defense. Okay. That was a wild thing. It is a very wild take, but I stand with Greenie yet again. The only thing that I don't like about overtime is when captain spit in our faces, literally spit in our faces by not picking tails on the point flip. Oh, we have an action. Yeah, we have it. Jared Goff,

he listens to this show. He should know better. We discussed this just like three days ago. Tails never fails. It rhymes. Yes. It rhymes, Jared, but I reached out to Jared and I got an actual quote from him. He said that he picked heads because he picked heads at the beginning of the game and he was trying to stay hot. Yeah. I mean, if, if heads is hot, I understand that. He won on heads at the beginning of the game. So it's like a roulette wheel, I guess. I don't know. Yeah. Heads was hot. Heads was hot. I also, the only change I would have to NFL over times as well is before every overtime game, play the clip of Matt Hasselbeck saying, we want the ball and we're going to score. Yes. Just play that. That was Tony. What? No, that was Hasselbeck.

I was in Green Bay playing on the Seahawks. I think that's Al Harris said or something. Through a pick six. We want the ball and we're going to score. Matt Hasselbeck. Okay. Segments. Stay classy. Greg Hardy. Greg Hardy's back. Good, good. Awesome. So he fought in UFC in Brooklyn on Saturday night and Greg Hardy got disqualified because he kicked someone in the temple while they were down on the mat, which is very illegal to UFC. You need them. You need them in the side of head, which, which is like the most illegal strike. Yeah. When the guy was down. Yeah. So Greg Hardy, way to go, man. Stay classy. Stay classy. I'm happy to see Greg Hardy back on television. Hey, you know what though? He's just green. He didn't know the rules that you couldn't

do. It was great. The fight though. He, Greg Hardy, surprise, surprise, lost his cool so bad because the guy Crowder, I think he was fighting just started screaming, you hit a woman, you hit a woman in the middle of like the second round. And then the, the, the Greg Hardy like blacked out and just went crazy because he's a crazy person and then got disqualified. You have to be insane to be a heavyweight fighter. Did you see the shots that Crowder was taking? Oh yeah. How did, how did he not just like his face liquefy? Yeah. Dude's got a chin. And he was, he's got that. That's why I'm not, you know what it is. It's the beard. That's why I could never be a heavyweight fighter because I can't grow a beard. Yes. That's exactly right. All right. I have a joke that I wrote about that.

Okay. Please tell Hank. Get ready to put in the, the first, can you do like an applause line for me taking the stage? Here he is. PFT commenters. Yes. You guys hear about Greg Hardy. Yeah. Delivering a bunch of illegal blows. A cowboy's tradition. That was great. And that's PFT comment. Here we go. That was actually more weed. Oh yeah. Michael Irvin. Michael Irvin. Michael Irvin. Michael Irvin. Nate Newton had far too much weed for any human being. I think he had like 350 pounds on aggregate. I think it was like 600 pounds because I think he got busted twice. Yeah. And he also was high. So they're like, well, you weigh 400 pounds. Well, yeah. So it's personal consumption. You know how much weed you have to smoke to get a 400 pound man high?

Elephant. Right. Exactly. Just blow it in the zero. All right. Next up, sticking with the cowboys, King Stay King, Skip Bayless. So Skip Bayless. All caps. Tweeter Skip Bayless. This is, you know, he's watching football and he's all caps after Greg's airline hit the field goal to go into overtime. That looked like it was going to go wide and then hook back in. He tweeted another impossibly weird, huge field goal like Mason crossbars at Dallas two years ago, started slicing towards the right upright, then hooked good. No justice. No justice for Skip. This was about the Dallas Cowboys. No justice for the field goal that went in. Yeah. Also, was it two years ago? I feel like it was more than two. No, it was like three, right?

Yeah. So I don't know. I aged in dog years. But yeah, that's going to be the last thing that Skip Bayless says when he dies. It's going to be like, yeah, it's going to be like Rosebud from Citizen Kane. He's just going to be like, that kick physically impossible. No justice. As Stephen A. Smith just caresses his old frail hand. He's like, Stephen, no crossbar, Mason crossbar, no justice. Stephen A. Smith's like, you're absolutely right, Skip. That's Scott Norwood kick for the Cowboys. No. Oh wait. No, Stephen, no Stephen A. Smith's going to have his cowboy hat on and be like, ha, ha, ha. Fuck you, Skip. And then put a pill over his head. Yeah. Kill him. Oh man, Stephen A. Smith announcing the UFC. Yeah. Oh man,

that was electric. He's doing it all. By the way, shout out to recurring guest, John Annick. Yes. And shout out to recurring guest. You got it. Daniel Cormier. Daniel DC. Yeah. DC. You had it. Who didn't. I didn't need to help you there. Nope. That was like, that was your last bench press. Yeah. 450. You didn't need help. They were killing it. They were absolutely killing it. And then Stephen A. Smith got involved and just started screaming. Yeah. Like, what are you doing here, Stephen A. Smith? So yeah, good job, Skip. By the way, here, I'm getting ahead of the stake. Daniel Cormier is the Tony Romo of UFC. He was calling every single wiggle. Wait, so are we at Tony Romo podcast now? I don't want to go all that way. I want to say he had a great performance,

but I don't want to just fully endorse him and be like, you know what, it's great. I love him. I enjoyed it. I will reserve judgment until the Super Bowl. If he can show up when it counts in the big one, then I'm going to be pro Tony Romo. And it really is. I do think there's some validity where I was saying, like if there, if it's a blow out in the Super Bowl and he's doing this, the whole dog and pony show, it's not good. Right. You need to match the moment. Also, shout out to his security blanket for a long time, Jason Witten. Jason Witten has made Tony Romo look awesome. And also just like they always did in the earpiece. Yes. Just like they always did back in the day. Yes, exactly. All right. Next up, we had Petty Wars. So the NBA Petty Wars

continue. Did you see Russell Westbrook on Saturday night? He, I think he got a little skirmish with Joellen Bede and they asked him if they're cool. And he just replied, fuck no. And it was Russell Westbrook is like the only guy who's still trying to, to do, I hate other teams and other players. I like it. I like it. There's only one solution if you're Joellen Bede. That's you hit. Well, if you're Russell Westbrook, the solution is you have to date Rihanna. You have to like cuck Rihanna out of Joellen Bede's universe. That's what he should do. Or a Jenner. Or a Jenner and get Ben Simmons that way. That's true. I was happy to see Westbrook wearing something that you could consider like a not totally out there

piece of clothing because like if he had been wearing one of his wilder outfits, the fuck no doesn't land as hard. No, but he was wearing like a retro, he was ready to go like an 80s jacket that I could see him being in the thriller music video and tying his wrist to somebody trying to stab him with a knife. Also playoff P. I love playoff P in the regular season, even when he actually like shows up. It's awesome. PG 13. Yeah. Playoff P's always got it. All right. We also had petty wars. This came from Zach Levine. So the bulls are a dumpster fire. Everyone knows they're dumpster fire. Jim Boylan's a terrible coach, but Zach Levine had the best subtweet, verbal subtweet is a verbal subtweet. After another bull's loss, he said something's obviously wrong.

We weren't losing by double digits earlier in the season. We might have been losing and we didn't have a full roster. I don't know. We're a better team now and we're getting blown out. It doesn't make a lot of sense. That is such a great subtweet at Jim Boylan taking over the team and the blowout somehow getting worse with a healthier roster. Or Jim Boylan's just a lot better at tanking. That's also true. Yeah. But that's glass half full. I mean, I would love to live in a world where the bulls are actively tanking, but I know like in my heart of heart that Gar Forman and Jon Paxson actually think that Jim Boylan's a great coach. What are the odds that they get the number one pick? They're pretty bad. Well, no, so this year, this is the year

that the top three all have the same odds. Yeah. The number one pick. So they changed it. They go in and out. David Stern's going to want to make sure that a marquee player goes to Chicago. Yeah. So they are in the East. They have the, they're tied for the second to worst record. Actually, no, they're tied for the second worst record right now. There you go. Overall, there you go. So you're in it. The tank is on. You are in the Zion Jackpot. Losers of 10th Street. Zion. Zion can't shoot free throws. And also he got stuffed by that white dude on Virginia. He also relies too much on his left hand when he's dribbling through all five of the other team before dunking on him. The white dude on Virginia who stuffed Zion, that was a wild move to basically pound his chest and

be like, I got this five minutes into the game because Zion had like maybe three or four dunks on him after that. Like, dude, you got a lot of game left to get dunked on. Don't do that. They, well, they immediately started in with the, this guy's gritty. He's not the most athletic guy, but he plays after that dunk. And then he just got dunked into the earth. Yes. I got dunked into the liquid core of the earth probably six times. Everyone knows I'm a huge Duke fan. Love Duke, Duke's year. There is something to be said about Zion when he just throws that big old booty around. He just shoves people with his booty, like old school boxing out. I do love it. And when he does help defense and just jumps and blocks every shot, like comes out of nowhere and just

stuffs the shit out of people, that's, that's great. Yeah. But his shot is terrible. He shoots threes like, like they're free throws and he's a bad at free throws. You'd think it would be good if it was like, Hey, he's good at free throws. Same, same, same shot for three point or no. They both kind of stink. It's 18. That's nitpicking Zion. It can't be perfect. He should probably drop out. You should stop playing. Oh, you say, yeah. Scotty Pippen. Yeah. What's the point? Yeah, why not? Well, so us Duke fans though would hate to see that. I would hate to see that. But Scotty Pippen says that if he dropped out now, it won't affect his drafts talk. And that's probably true. He probably would get more threes off with those limited coach K doesn't let him

practice in his Jersey after a loss. That's true. After a loss of Syracuse. Wait, are people, is he actually considering not playing? No, I don't think that he is because like he enjoys playing basketball. Right. My understanding is that most elite level basketball players enjoy playing the sport of basketball. Right. And he's also playing against a real competition where not just a bunch of like five, eight white dudes that he's dunking on in high school that shows up on YouTube. Yeah. But that sounds fun. There does sound fun. But there is, there is a world where it would make sense for him to not risk a catastrophic injury and just go to the, like he will be the number one pick no matter what probably. Yeah. So why not just go

to and he'll make more money on a shoe deal than he will playing basketball. So don't risk that whatsoever. Just leave and get your shoe. And all this from just a YouTube dunker. Yep. Yeah. I should have written myself out. He doesn't want to be known as just a dunker, by the way. But I'm just trying to dispel that myth. All you kids out there that are Zion Williams' site or height and athleticism, I will appear in your YouTube video of you dunking on me if you give me a cut of your first contract. Yes. Yes. I will. I'm like the perfect. I will film it. I got, I got the low. It's going to be like flying everywhere as a man. I will not let another man dunk on me, but I will film that for you. Okay. Good. Thank you. You know what? I'll film me

bailing right before you dunk. Yeah. You're like, I got this. Just getting out of there. Yeah. Help side defense. Not showing up. All right. Last up, before we get to our Monday reading, I actually wrote this down Hank. Hank hot in the streets. I need to know something. Cardi B said that she was going to dog walk. Tommy Lahren. What does dog walk mean? I mean, you don't know. Do you know? Yeah. Just means I'm going to own you. Is that it? I would beat the shit out of you. Search it real quick. Yes. I guess there's a few going. I'm going to dominate you. Cardi B is going to dog walk. I'm going to put your ass on a leash. That sounds fucking real. Yeah. Put your ass on a leash. Real. Actually, it could be nice. Yeah. Just going

on a little stroll, taking you to your favorite fire hydrant. Take the bait pen. Yeah. Just have a little dog walk. Yeah. Pick up your shit. What does it say? According to Urban Dictionary, it says dog walk, meaning to kick someone's ass, give them an ass whooping. Okay. Did Cardi B play herself? Does she have to pick up Tommy Lahren shit all the time now? Yep. We got to bring those bags, Cardi B. Make sure the ones that are good for the environment, the biodegradable ones. Yeah. Please. Please. Please. Don't do that. And when you see Britt McHenry walking or getting dog walk by Rihanna on the other side of the street, make sure to pull Tommy closer to you because they'll go after each other. Yeah. Oh, fuck. There's another one. All right. Here we go.

Monday reading. This one's a doozy. It's not long, but we have to get to it. Here we go. Ready? You ready for the title? My wife wants to have a baby, but says it won't be mine. That's where we're ready to go, but that's just the tip of the iceberg right there. All right. Here it is. Are we just doing cuck readings? Yeah, pretty much. This one is, I mean, this one was submitted to us. Submit Monday readings, by the way. If you see something hilarious, some articles, some ridiculous articles, some absurd take, tweet us at it, hashtag Monday readings, and we'll make sure that we compile it so that we have a nice little backlog of it. Here it goes. I'm a man married to a woman who I love and adore and respect more

than anything in the world. The thing is that she sees other men for sex and is open about it. She doesn't have actual sex with me anymore. She says I'm too small down there, but she likes that I'm a great provider. This is the Cuck Hall thing. Yeah. This guy is the Cuck Hall thing. This is absurd. Yeah. So what's the question? Okay. So no, we're getting to it. Okay. She expects me to accept this situation and to remain faithful to her, which I am. So not only sounds like it's a mutual respect thing going on between these two, not only is his dick too small to please his wife, but his wife is like, you can't even put that small little dingaling into another woman. Oh, no, that's tough. Wait. And she's also like, I won't let you put that small dingaling in me

because we might accidentally have kids that would have small dingalings. Yes. Now she wants to have a baby. Oh, that's okay. Save the marriage, baby. Save the marriage, but says it won't be mine. And she insists that I accept this too. Like there's cocking. So just back up. Oh, no, let me finish She knows how much I love her and that I've always accepted how our marriage is. I don't want to lose her. What should I do? Okay. First thing is you should write into a national newspaper asking them the question of what you should do. Just put yourself out. Well, this is, this is the Toronto Star. So this is the nicest cock that has ever been cocked. But so to back up, he is, his wife has said your dick is too small. We're not having sex. And I'm gonna have sex with other guys. Sorry,

but I'm going to have sex with other guys because your dick is too small. And I want to have a child that I want you to provide and raise that child, but I'm not going to use your small dick for that child. Oh my God. And he's thinking about it. He's thinking about it because one thing you're losing in this big guy is that he respects her so much. He respects marriage and he respects the institution. Oh my God. And she respects him because she respects the fact that he respects her. Oh, man, this is, yeah, I don't, I really don't know what to say to this guy other than, um, I guess he's happy. Maybe get better at oral. That would be my recommendation because if you, if that tongue, get that junior soprano. Yeah. If that tongue starts flying around,

then maybe she's like, maybe your kid will have just really good tongue. Yep. Yep. Like that's almost better than having a big dick. Could you imagine getting cocked so hard that you have to raise another person's child, but you're like, I can't, but your horse is too messy, but you're willing to do it. This guy, I think he should just do it. Sounds like Russell Wilson. He seems, oh, shots fired. Damn. Damn. Hey, he loves Ciara. Okay. Yeah. And she loves him. And future's kid. It's one big family. Wow. So you side with future on this little beef? Absolutely. Okay. Wow. Damn. Good. Good. Hey. Atlanta's most famous rapper. Yeah. Third most famous soldier boy to wait Howard future. That's right. Yeah. And Sean McPhee probably wrapped

at some, I'm sure Sean McPhee has like a cringey high school YouTube wrap. What does this guy do? I think you got to get the, you got to just get a bigger dick. Yeah. They sell those, you know, you know, they sell something that you can, here's what you do. Just get a bunch of bubble wrap. Yeah. And just wrap it around your dick and then put like a, put a condom over it. So never know. Yeah. The person who, the sex columnist that he wrote into actually said, see your doctor about size. That's not a real. Well, that's not real. Imagine you just got a dick implant, like a new dick. And then his wife was like, Oh, you thought it was actually just the small dick. Yeah. It was just an excuse. I don't like you. I was going to say this. That's not going to solve the underlying

issue here that your wife wants to have a kid with somebody else. Right. That's, yeah. But you know what? Go get a new dick to it. Yeah. It'll be yourself. It'll be good for you. Like self-esteem wise. Yeah. Exactly. You won't be writing into the star asking, why am I in the Cuck Hall fame? What? What are you going to say, Hank? Nothing. No, you got to say what you're going to say. It's between me and Bubba. I just thought of a t-shirt idea for the picture. Don't worry about it. Okay, cool. You got to, you got to get a puncher's chance. Which is our cucking stories bore you, Hank. My God. If I'm this guy, you have to at least give me a chance at having this kid. Yes. So what I say is you just take three or four loads. You can squeeze them out yourself. You can just do it

behind closed doors and I'll hand you a cup. Turkey baster. Turkey baster. But then you have to put them in like three separate cups. Yeah. Let them have a couple shots. A, B and C. Yep. And then you get blindfolded or like you play a game of war. War. I don't know. A game of chance that tells you which cup to base yourself with. No, you know what you do? You say, hey, listen, wife that cucks me on a routine basis. I want to have a, I want to have a fair shot at this. So get all your lovers to submit a sample and we'll combine them all and best sperm wins. Yeah. We'll, we'll stir them together because it is, at that point you can make a strong argument that my genes are stronger. Right. If my sperm is faster. So a chip in a seat. That's all you need. Just get me up to

the table here. Give me a shot at fathering this kid. Let me have it. Let me have it. And then that solves it. And the sad thing is like this guy might have red hair and be like 130 pounds. And if the baby comes out with like black hair and like 13 pounds, he'll still convince himself. Yeah. Oh man. That's it. That's a regressive gene. He's got his daddy's hamstrings. Look, those are my, those are my hamstrings. Oh man. Poor guy. All right. That's our show. We will see everyone Wednesday. We have, oh, Wednesday. You have to watch the fire fest documentaries, Hulu and Netflix. Watch them because Wednesday we're doing a fire fest review with our friend Ryan Racillo. So make sure you watch both because we're going to review both. And it's a night,

a perfect time for a little downtime before Super Bowl. We kicks off and then Thursday we're hopping on the RV heading down to Atlanta. So make sure you watch the fire fest. We'll see you guys on Wednesday. If the blood moon doesn't kill us. Love you guys. Sorry that you're all dead. Oh, I'll be coming for your love. Oh, it's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports.