Pardon My Take - NFL Week 1, Fastest 2 Minutes, Bills/Texans Thriller, Bears Drop A 50 Burger, Eagles vs Commanders Plus Who's Back Of The Week

Episode Date: September 14, 2026

Football is back and we start with Fastest 2 minutes and then recap every game from Sunday. (00:00:00-00:12:59) Bills 36, Texans 31 (00:12:59-00:25:39) Lions 31, Saints 30 (00:25:39-00:38:24) Bengals 33, Bucs 27 (00:38:24-00:43:51) Ravens 41, Colts 23 (00:43:51-00:54:38) Bears 49, Panthers 37 (00:54:38-01:05:08) Steelers 20, Falcons 13 (01:05:08-01:18:02) Jets 23, Titans 10 (01:18:02-01:34:23) Jaguars 34, Browns 10 (01:34:23-01:47:42) Raiders 27, Dolphins 13 (01:47:42-01:57:42) Vikings 39, Packers 22 (01:57:42-02:09:19) Cardinals 26, Chargers 14 (02:09:19-02:22:45) Eagles 24, Commanders 22 (02:22:45-02:39:38) Giants 28, Cowboys 20 (02:39:38-02:43:05) We then finish with who's back of the week.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Netflix. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take

Hey, part of my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take presented by Draft Kings, it is week one in the NFL. We just watched 12 hours of football and we're here to recap all of it. We're going to start, as always, with fastest two minutes. It is back. Then we're going to recap every single game. We're going to talk about every single game.

We had Bill's Texans game that was phenomenal overtime in Detroit after Tyler Shuck woke up. The Bears scored 59 points. The commanders and Eagles played to a kind of exciting game towards the end. And we had the Giants announced that they might be back on Sunday night football. We're going to talk about all of it. We're going to also do who's back of the week. And it is all brought to you by her friends at YouTube TV. Guys, the NFL season is finally here.

and if you're like me, your Sunday revolves entirely around making sure you don't miss a single snap of the action. Why limit yourself to one game on Sunday? You should be in total command, seeing every big play and every touchdown across the entire league right there on your big screen. But thank God for NFL Sunday ticket and YouTube TV. It literally gets you every game, every Sunday, plus features like Multi-View, so you can watch up to four games at once. You can just lock in and watch the game unfold without missing a thing and get this for new. users. It's just eight payments of $30 a month. Stop stressing out and go sign up right now at

YouTube.com slash NFLST. New users pay $240 or eight non-cancelable payments of $30 a month, first charged at purchase. Availability varies with NFL Sunday ticket for out-of-market games and YouTube TV for local national games. YouTube TV required terms and embargoes apply. Device and content restrictions apply to multi-view. Commercial use excluded. no refunds. Okay, let's go. Welcome to part of my take, presented by Draft Kings. The Crown is yours.

Today is Monday, September 14th, week one. What? Welcome back to the 2026 NFL league year. What? Huh? Huh, some spread. We start in the Queen. city where Ben Johnson was king, as Caleb Robin Williams said, it's not your fault.

If you doubt this fire, but you'll end up looking like Patch Adams with a clown nose. It came from all angles, as DeAndre Taylor Swift said, I've felt a hole like this never before and ever since. She was talking about some stupid breakup chick-shit, TJ. DeAndre was talking about 124 yards and three touchdowns. Even Kyle, now here's a manang guy, got in on the action rushing for 100 yards, as the Carolina defense looked like a bunch of pussycats all afternoon. It wasn't all bad for the Panthers, though, as Bryce, forever young, I want to be forever young,

played fast and had a good business plan utilizing Koker multiple times in the afternoon, like they were playing a little pitch and catch in the Penn State Delta Upsilon backyard. You mean State FinBomb? State Penn. In the summer of burgers, it was the Bears posting one of their own. Bears 59. Panthers 37. We go up to Detroit, Michigan, where Jared Kushner Gough was trying to negotiate the reopening of the straight of more dudes.

As all the fellas were calling out, mine, mine, every time the ball was in the air. And Gibbs was saying, I ran for 156 yards and two touchdowns. The lines pass catchers of St. Brown, Leporta, and Jameson had the Saints defense over a barrel. And if all that money spent on offense seems a little crude, just switched to the always electric Tesla. Chase, we are young, had a lot of fun, period, but didn't count on golf trying his very best to throw the fumble forward, ending up with the most productive sack ever, besides maybe my good friend, Philip Rivers. The second half turned into a street fight, as Tyler Duck, if you struck, was out for blood with the rest of the crime mob. It was a ludicrous second half, with Saints tight in. I want to know a, Noah, Noah, Noah, what's your fint?

A C scored a touchdown And the Saints come marching back Forcing overtime The Lions scored first Giving the Saints a chance to win with the ball As they score a touchdown and go for two Incomplete As Kellan in the name of Moore said

Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me Some of those with fat asses Are the same who drop passes As the Saints fall just short on the road Lions win 3130, Saints don't go marching And we head to Meadowlands

Where memes Oh, no, we head to Nashville where Memes was there to see his Jets. Start 1-0. In Nashville, Aaron Glennie and the Jets took on Robert Salah and the boys. Omar Cumm & Cooper set up Kenyon Sheik and Sadiq with no hands for the rookie's first NFL touchdown. Gino know who you're messing with, Holmes Smith, and the New York Jeds were finding a way to exploit a hooker in the secondary. Jets kicking game got off to a rough start until no, Jason, Colonel Sanders. You are wrong for not believing in yourself.

getting two 50 plus yard field goals in the second half to extend the lead to a three-score game. Cam Warden Norton thought this year would be his Shawshank redemption, only to be revealed at the end that there was a gaping hole in his asshole, chiseled out by the Jets' defense behind a poster of Rita Hayworth. The Titans' offense was so bad, new first-round pick. Cornell, Ohio State was screaming, just take me off the field if you're not going to throw it to me. Jets spoiled Robert Salaz, Titans debut.

three, Titans 10. Great job, memes. We head to Cincinnati, where Zach was there to see his bucks. In Cincinnati, the Tampa Bay Bucks go full Tampa Bay Cuck mode early on, taking a seat in the corner as they watch Demetrius, night night, sleep tight, don't let the turnovers bite, recover a fumble, and take it to the crib. Shortly after, Chase Millie Bobby Brown goes all upside down from five yards out

as he uses telekinetic fury to split the buck's defense and remind them that scoreboards don't lie. In the second half, putting an end to the age-old question, would you rather Josiah Trotter or a thought daughter? It's Trotter up on the score. After Mojo Jojo Burrow throws it like a total power puff girl, turning over the ball, Trotter scuba's, his way into the end zone, no goggles for six points.

But unfortunately for some, Burrow and the Bengals bring it around town and secure the secret formula for the win as they sing F is for fumble four times a game U is for under pressure It is for nobody in the back field Could the bucks get a stop? No, never Pagos 33 bucks 27 Great job, Zach!

We now head to Indianapolis where Hank was there for Ravens Cults In Indianapolis where the roof was closed Jonathan Daler Swift started things off in the first quarter when he ran the B and the EZ and said, Hi, Ravens, D, it's me. I'm the problem.

It's me. Mamar Michael Jackson responded, If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a five-yard character turned into a touchdown to take a one-point lead. Derek Henry Locke was started right and then cut back left for a four-yard score. And then Zay was smoking purple flowers. It was burning his chest.

But not enough to stop from breaking a 54-yard touchdown reception to give the Ravens a huge lead. Derek Henry Cavill said, Superman, that ho! Now watch me, you! On the way to the end zone for a second score. And the Ravens go flocking, 41, 23. Thanks, Hank. In Pittsburgh, there was a Sunday warrior, mean, mean stride.

Today's started quarterback, mean, mean pride, as Cooper Rush took the field for the Falcons looking to victory Neil Purt at the end of the game. Nowadays, everybody want to talk like they got something to say, but nothing comes out when they move to live. Just a bunch of jiberish. Motherfuck is that like they forgot about. T.J. As what? Absolutely wrecked the game when it Marshall mathered the most in the fourth quarter,

taking a pickback for six and sealing a Steelers victory. Darnell Washington laid the Shaleen Woodley and fucked a guy with a stiff arm right in front of Aaron Rogers. But all is good in Pittsburgh as Rogers and Mike McCarthy are back to being happily married couple. And the Steelers start one and oh. Steelers, 20, Falcons, 13. What? What? We go down to Houston, Texas, with the Buffalo Bills haven't won since 2006 when Big Cat and PFT were still in college, and the iPhone hadn't been invented yet.

Man, those guys are old. The bills have a completely different look with Joe Tom Brady, given this franchise a complete facelift. And Josh Allen, much like Shaquille O'Neal, is always looking to DJ Moore. The Texans' offense looked back in sharp form As Star of David Montgomery showed his ability to have six points And no matter what common sense tells you, Nico Carl Lindsay Clancy is not at fault for this loss According to his usually insane team defense

That gave up 400 yards. The Texans had the ball at closing time And on the final drive, C.J. Strout! Put your hands up and Strout! Held onto the ball, a little too soft now. A little too soft now. Throw your hands up and strout. C. C.J.A. C.J.A.

Loses. And no one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills. Bills 35. Texan 3rd 1. To Fallopia with Max and the Eagles. We head over to Philadelphia. Where Dantavian Miao Mix got things going early on a deep ball that had Mikey Sandr's still looking like a little pussycat.

The commander's punt team was busy, and their gunner, Tyler Owens, Wilson had one of the coolest plays in the NFL today that had everyone saying, Wow. The commander's defense kept them in the game in large part by Sonny and Cher Stiles, telling the rest of the team, I got you, babe, as he dominated the entire game. But in the end, it was Dallas Biers Club Goddard,

fucking the commander's defense so hard that he may have given the maids, as he scored his second ton that ended up being the game winner. You know, Matt, boom. Boom, you know, Magic Johnson is a part of all. of the commander. Dear, dear friend. That is true. I don't know why I started doing Obama.

But look, let's be clear. Age is nothing to joke about. I love cigarettes. It's okay. Back to you, both. Eagles 24, Commanders 22. Standing on the corner, James Winston and Hoboken, such a fine side to see.

It's scatter through, my lord, and he's looking to score, and they're throwing touch-downs too likely. We all knew it The Cowboys screwed it Just like when Hank went to your playoff game And blew it You blew it, Hanky

Giants 28, Cowboys 20 And that was the fastest two It's Yep But the bills win You get that big giant ass wallet protruding I love it As grew like nine times

I have a question, Hank Why did you make that TV faster than this TV? I did not. But you were playing with them. I was turning it on. Oh, okay. That's way faster. That TV is usually way slower.

Yeah, so you made it so it was way faster. I did not. I can try and fix it. But that TV was always way slower than you were messing with it. Now it's way faster. I was just turning it on. You were messing with it. You were.

I looked. I thought you were trying to get them on sync. No, I was just turning. No, he was trying to get his faster. PFTy, I like where you're going, though. Chris Berman. You look at that TV. No, I don't.

I was looking right at that TV. Because Alan's usually faster. Well, no, you could make them the same speed. 90% of our conversations week one are about which TV is ahead and which TV is behind and which game should be on that TV that's not on that TV? PFT, you're out of the room. He was messing with the TVs. That TV is usually slower and he made his TV faster. So the TV that he's looking at is faster.

This one can be faster because memes sometimes just he takes. tips his hand. No, but memes also has streams up. Hank usually says this one slow. I don't think it mean, you think meme streams private in the booth? Yeah. No, no, no. We watch that.

We watch that one. He definitely knows. We for sure watch that. Yeah, memes says this one ahead sometimes. Hank said that that one's usually slower and he was messing with it. I just look at your guys faces all. No, you guys normally are faster. Right.

This is really dumb. No one cares about this, but it was. The people need to know. Well, it was, it was bothering me because. because Hank was messing with it, and then I was like, wait, I'm like three plays behind. It was three plays? Yeah, it was very, very far behind. Three plays, too many plays.

Anything else on this game? Oh, Hank, what do you think about the bill's performance? You scared Josh Allen? I think Josh Allen is going to, from what I saw today, it feels like he's playing. Do you agree with me like he's playing it at a different level? I think it's a very fun offense for him to play in. Yeah. I think he's like, he's reached that moment where he's not thinking ever about anything.

He just acts. He knows what to do. It's like in the back of it. It's so far ingrained in him in this offense. And Joe Brady, I think he's taking all the stuff. It looks to me, at least after week one, he's taking all the stuff that he liked to do that he was good at earlier and then just turned that up to 11.

So I think he's, Josh is probably playing the most fun brand of football that he's played. Yeah. And he didn't get, like, remember the Thursday night game last year where he got sacked? It felt like a million times. He only got sacked twice today. So the offensive line,

which has had a little bit of a turnover. Looks like it held up well. And yeah, that was a really good game for Bill's fans that are excited about the Joe Brady era. Yeah. Well, yeah, Hank, what do you think? Yeah, I'm scared. I mean, Josh Allen's in his prime.

They looked unbelievable. They're going to be the probably the team to beat in the NFC. I don't know how you could come away from that game. That game was an absolutely perfect game to start your NFC. week one Sunday. Yes. It was just a heavyweight blow for blow battle. It was nice that they put that on the noon slate. Like that could have easily been the Friday night game.

They could have done Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, or the Sunday night game or the Monday. But they gave us one big one to start the season. It felt like that. So we went from possible AFC championship preview to week two for the Bills, possible Super Bowl preview. Yeah. Bill's Lions Thursday night.

Lions is going to be fun opening the new stadium. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. That's going to be a fun one. I'm wondering how the wind's going to act there. That's going to be a very fun one.

Yeah, the bills look good. Texas, I wouldn't worry. Who did the Texans have next week? I wouldn't worry about the Texans. Although the Jaguars, we'll get to the Jaguars. Oh, Texans. Bengals. Texas Bengals would be a great game.

To maybe great defenses. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Okay. Speaking of Lions, we were playing on Thursday night football against the bills. The other great game that we had to start the NFL season, Lions 31, Saints 30 overtime was not a great game to start. It was terrible to watch at the beginning. Tyler Shock, our guy was horrendous in the first half. We also had one of the most confusing calls

I think any of us have ever seen in the Jared Gough what looked like everything you know about football looked like a fumble backwards for a Saints touchdown and then Mike Pereira got on on the column was basically like well he started his throwing motion his intention was to throw it forward so it doesn't count as a backwards pass.

This to me, this was the Barrenstein Bears effect. I felt like I was going crazy. We've watched a lot of football. Yes. And this might be outing myself as a non-true ball watcher, but we've watched so much football over the years. I never knew that if

you meant to throw the ball forward. Right. If you got sacked as you were trying your, your very hardest to throw a forward pass, that it would count as if you had, in fact, thrown a forward pass, even if the ball goes backwards. If you watch that play in slow-mo,

to me, it looked exactly like an NFL film's textbook, like, oh, this is Deacon Jones coming off the edge, and this is a textbook sack. Yes. That's where it looked like from Chase Young. I guess that's been a rule for a while, but it's crazy to me.

Like it is, you know how like the Berenstein-Berits and we think we know something has been a certain way our entire life and then glitch in the matrix. I guess that's just not a fumble? It was it, it was doubly confusing because not only was it, if it was a pass, it was a backwards pass. And then it was also open hand through the throwing motion, which should be a fumble. I don't understand it. I don't understand it at all. What we're forgetting is he was trying his very best to throw a ball forward. flying backwards.

Flying backwards. Like the tuck rule. It's like a rule and you didn't know existed. But it's either a fumble or a pass in both ways backwards pass is a fumble. That's the thing that makes no sense.

But I guess since he fumbled as he was moving forward then it's not a fault. It's the dumbest thing ever. And there has to be a time They gaslit us. They gaslit America. There has to be a time

we've seen this play. I feel like we have seen this play before. Yeah. But apparently it's just not a fumble. They gaslit all of America and they're like, you thought you know. No, you dumb bitch, you don't know the rules to football.

Here's something to get a little more confusing. Like I've been trying to teach my kids the rules to football, which, by the way, I don't know if you guys have tried to explain football to someone, either a child or a foreigner. A foreigner, yeah. God damn it is, did they make this game confusing? It's very tough. It's really hard to explain to someone and like simple terms. You kind of take it for granted that because we've been watching it so long.

Yeah. But holy fuck. then you throw in something like this, I wouldn't know what to say. I'd probably just turn off the TV and be like, we don't know, we don't watch football anymore. We don't know the rules. It's Jared Goff against the Saints. Like, there's Saints fans that are like, this is fucking, this fucking guy. Yeah.

Well, it's not just even Jared Goff. It's like this is only a rule that would be enforced against the Saints. Yeah. If it were to hurt the New Orleans Saints. It was crazy. So either way, the game, the first half was a tough watch. Both offenses looked like their quarterbacks hadn't played in the preseason, which was the case. Tyler Shuck looked terrible.

Jared got, like the, the Lions' offense looked kind of clunky. The Lions defense was playing well in the first half. And then you forgot about Shuck, because Shuck woke up. And that's our guy. He, like, it was, it was, it was basically, he had one pass. I can't remember. I think it was to a Lave that, like, it clicked. And he was like, oh, yeah, I am Tyler Shuck.

Mm-hmm. And from that point on, he was incredible down the stretch. he scored on five out of the last six drives. He ended up with 410 passing yards. I think he's the leader in the NFL right now for passing yards. He was awesome, but they came up short because they went for two in overtime, which I actually agree with that. You're on the road.

The lions are probably the better team. Why not go for two and try to end the game right there? Yeah, it was the right call. Yeah. It was 100% the right call to go for it. And yeah, just kind of got unlucky. But was it 410 yards for it? and 10 yards.

The latter. He was the leading pastor this weekend, I believe then. Yes, he is. He's leading the NFL. And there was one interception that even his interceptions are kind of, they're kind of crispy. Oh, he looked so bad in the first half? That laser that he threw to the linebacker.

That was a tough catch. And I think any other quarterback throws that ball, it bounces off the linebacker's hands, but because the spiral is so tight, it's stuck in the linebacker's hands. It wasn't just like, he looked bad, but the whole offense looked bad. There was multiple times, I feel like just remembering the, game that there would be like a receiver just not turning around and Tyler Shuck throwing it his back or something like that where all the timing was off and then it just flipped and they just came alive and the Lions defense got a little gassed and and it became a shootout out of nowhere

and it was awesome to watch and for the Lions we I know that we talk about him being the best running back in the NFL because he is but I feel like somehow Jamir Gibbs is still underrated because he's so every single time he touches the ball it's like you know anything could happen he's just break he he broke 12 he forced 12 missed tackles today he had 186 yards from scrimmage two touchdowns he had 36 total touches and he now has 51 touchdowns in 50 career games it's he's just electric to watch like every time he touches the ball you're like oh my god what's going to happen he's going to break this you know how like you said ride the hot hand dang cable was just like, yeah, Gibbs is, he is our hot hand.

Yeah. He's our hand, so we're just going to keep thinning the ball. And why not? Why not do that and just spam Gibbs until somebody can stop it? Yep. I think this is, you know what? I'm, I hate to do this in just the second game. I think this was the best loss of the week. Oh. I think for the Saints, I'm going to, they jump the Texans on this. Okay. I think this is the best loss of the week. Number two right now would be the Houston, Texas. Because, yeah, they look bad in the first half. Shuck looked awesome. in the second half. The offense looked good in the second half. And Chris Olives,

Gargian Cap just keeps getting bigger. Yeah. And bigger and bigger. But also, we said it in the cave. It's the best-looking Guardian Cap in the league. It's got, yeah, it's gold. It's like a real nice gold. It's got all the undulations in it.

You can see it kind of looks like a, like a transformer. I think all of the Guardian Caps are better this year. I also saw there was a really good looking Guardian Cap in the Chargers game as well. Oh, really? They freshened them up. I think they freshened up. They made the Guardian Caps look better.

Because it did, it was noticeably better. Chris Olive was awesome in this game. 10 catches, 182 yards. And he is one of those guys that, I mean, I have no problem with anyone wearing a guardian cap. But he's one of those guys, I'm happy he's wearing a guardian cap because he, like, anytime he goes down, you're like, oh, no, did he hit his head again? And he does. You want to watch him play football. He is also the slowest guy to get up after every play.

Yes. Like if he does fall down, you have to think, oh, my God, I hope he's all right. I just had a dumb thought. Why doesn't every defensive player wear a guardian cap? You could get like an additional half inch on the size of your helmet that might get in the way. True. Hit a ball. True.

Yeah. Every inch matters, right? It's a game of inches. I always say that, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, those are better. Guarding caps are better this year. You're right.

Is that this year or is that last year? Yeah, that has to be last, or is this preseason? Must have been preseason. I think they did. That was preseason. Okay. Yeah. They look nicer.

Yeah. Do you buy Dan Campbell saying I'm not concerned about the defense? We've got to tighten some stuff up because they did. The Saints were able to kind of have their way with him in the last quarter and a half. I do not buy that. I think he is concerned. And I think they just restructured some contracts. I think they're going to try to sign or trade for someone.

Yeah. They do get Kirby Joseph and Brian Branch back eventually. So that would help. But yeah. Yeah. I mean, Brian Branch, when he's playing and when he's healthy, is one of the best defensive backs in the entire NFL. So that's going to be huge.

But I do think that they're, I don't think that this starting lineup is going to be the starting lineup for the lions in, say, a month or a month and a half. Yeah. I think they'll make it addition. This is a fun game to watch. Tyler Schock, he's just got to start faster because it really was. They did kind of just get into a hole. I mean, they were down 21 nothing. That game, that game felt like it was completely over.

And like I said, he just caught fire. And that's kind of what he's done the end of last year. It's just, can you do it for four? quarters. Who was, uh, who was in the booth making that, that call on the fumble? Is that big 10 squad? That was, oh, I don't know who was in the booth. Well, Pereira was the one on the, on the mic. Selling it to America. He was. He was, he was, he was gaslighting us. And he's, I, you know what, it's reached the point where I've read the rule book now. I think they just changed the rule book today. Mm-hmm. I think after that call, somebody logged online. Yeah. They didn't even give us the,

the, the, the, the, um, courtesy of, of the, hey, this is a point of emphasis. Any ball thrown backwards, it's not going to be a fumble anymore. Yeah. We would have watched for it in the Hall of Fame game. This is ridiculous. I see, I feel gaslit. No. Did anybody in the booth know that?

No. It was the most clear fumble ever. We watched more like we watched the replay. We didn't have the sound on and then, you know, watch another game turn back on. It was like, how do the Lions have the ball back? Yeah. Like, where did the touchdown go? I don't care what they say.

That was a fun. I agree. So you think Saints win? Are you awarding the Saints a win? Yeah. Shuck won that game. Okay. So who gets the game balls?

Shuck. There are eight of them. Remember, it's Galave. Lave. Shuck. Chase Young for the sack. Fumble, yeah. Yeah.

The referees for getting the call right in your mind? They're backup running back who scored a touchdown when we really need. We needed a chance. Oh. No fan. No fan. On. Yes.

Saint. Out of nowhere. People forget. Yeah. We miss that name. Zach. H. H.N?

Yeah. Well, no. No. Kendry Miller. Yeah. His, should deserve it. That was another thing I forgot today.

What? I forgot that his name pronunciation is now H.N. Well, it's always a agent. We interviewed, remember when Hank fired. I know. I remember. Because there was a point in the cave today where I was like, where I was like, I was like, we're not watching the Dolphins game.

Why are we rooting for H&A to score? Yeah. Well, I do kind of blame Hank because Hank He picked H.N to score in our group parlay that we had. Do you want to talk about that, Hank? We had seven out of eight. He did not score. And I blame him because I don't blame me for picking him.

I blame me for picking him and then mispronouncing his name the entire time. I feel like that was bad. I was calling him H.C. in the whole time. Not at the start. Stephen Chey was not. But he, you know, his brain's gone. Yeah, I mean, listen, he had his chances. they had their backup score a touchdown from like the one yard line.

That's just how football goes sometimes. And the last leg was the Packers, so it didn't matter. Didn't matter. Yep. Yeah. You kind of throwing Rico into the bus with that one. I didn't say names. Oh, also.

Yeah. Amon Ra is awesome. He's just a, he's a, he's the most dependable like we need a first down. We need a big catch guy. Maybe in the league where you're just like, okay, we'll just go to Amon Ra. He's that type of guy. The way that he run, when they hit him, close to the line of scrimmage, from that point on, he kind of runs like he's a tight end.

Yeah. And he will just run people over. And he's usually smaller than some of the guys, like the linebackers, they're taking him down. But if you get him the ball in like a tunnel screen, he will break three tackles. If you need six yards, he will get you seven yards. And not only that, but if you're, yeah, if you're sitting, if the lines are sitting at like a third and six, you just know that he's going to get open on like a slant or some type of route, like that will get him exactly seven yards to get that first out. Yeah. It's crazy. And he, he ended up scoring.

the touchdown in overtime. Yeah, it was a game-winning touchdown, even though we went to a two-point conversion. Do you think they should have done two-point conversion in regulation? Nah, there's too much time. There's like a minute left. Go to overtime. Got to go to overtime there.

Shout out new overtime rules. They're not new, new, but like, it is nice. I do. I do like it. The whole thing. Yep. All right. Next up, Bengals 33 bucks 27.

If I told you, you, Zach, on Friday, that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers would not punt in this game, and Jamar Chase would catch two balls for 12 yards. What would you have said the final score would be? And a pick six. And a pick six. I would say that we would win in great fashion. Yeah.

Unbelievable fashion. Unfortunately. Not the case. Four fumbles negated all that because the Bengals have a defense now. Yeah, it was a whole game came just down to turnovers, four fumbles, 24 points off of those fumbles. Like, that's an uphill battle for any, for any team. Yeah.

It almost seemed like the Bengals defense was outpacing their offense. Like for, for anybody that's in that locker room on the defensive side, today must have felt like such a great. Oh, yeah. Great moment where you hit the locker room after the game. You're like, hey, try to keep up, Joe. They give up 20 points. We got you a little bro.

If the Bengals defense can give up 20 points and force that, I mean, obviously they're not going to force four fumbles every game, but 20 points against a very good, offense in the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the Bengals are going to be a scary, scary team. And it's hard to like, you want to be more frustrated about the like ball security today, but the flip side of that is like Baker extending a lot of plays is how we get points sometimes.

So like taking those risks is also like a highlight of the team. So I completely agree with that. You can't, yes, obviously the fumbles are bad and you don't want them. And there was the one where he's going in. But a big part of your offense is Baker being able to keep playing. plays alive and kind of like never giving up and being a tough motherfucker. So yes, sometimes these games will happen. But I came away from this game being like, watch out for the Bengals because like I said,

Jamar Chase was two catches for 12 yards and the Bengals defense had four sacks, six QB hits, forced those four fumbles. They just played better than they have. I guess they played a little bit better at the end of last year. But they look like they are a real unit. And on top of that, the Bengals' offensive line played well. Like, the Todd Bowles blitzed a decent amount. And they held up.

Joe Burrow said it in the post game. Like, they did a good job and they won that battle. And they were able to run the ball. Joe Burrow was under center more. Joe Burrow ran the ball. Like he said it before the season. He was going to use his legs more. It felt like the Bengals, that was like a complete Bengals victory,

especially early in the season that we haven't seen in a long time. Yeah, I think they finally got the message that we, like, these games. in September have to be treated like desperation. Yeah. Because if you don't stack these, and they're going to be fucked down the road. But Baker,

the plays where Baker was getting drilled on, he was doing a good job extending, and then just kind of let the guard down. And I think he got ragdolled worse than any quarterback that I saw this week. Yeah. There were a couple times where he just, no awareness of where the clock should be going on at some point in Baker's head. Kyler.

Kyler, yeah. But Kyler, I, not just, that wasn't a rag. Not to victim blame. That was just a rag doll. Not to victim blame, but we can get to Kyler a little bit later. But yeah, Baker, you got to have a clock. Baker had no clock. Yeah.

He said after too. He said this one falls on me. I think they had 17 points off my turnovers, and it turns out to be a one score game. And it did feel like they were going to get back in the game. But the Bengals did a good enough job. I mean, I was just impressed. Like, it feels like most Bengals games that we've watched in the last few years have been kind of the same script of like shootout.

big play after big play bad defense but the Bengals can always answer because they have those big play that big play ability. The, the Bengals say, what did Mike Gaseki end up happening? Because it felt like Joe Burrow was under center taking the, taking the things that the defense gave him like methodical drives. Geseki had five catches, 78 yards. Right. And that was, I mean, and I think Drew Sample had a few catches too. So like I count those as the same guy. Three receptions for Drew, yeah. But that's definitely one of those tight-end pairings where it's like that should just be it should just be mike sample yeah i i think that you know same thing about knox and kincade yeah all and dalton shultz the entire rams uh tight end yeah all the they're all one guy that actually should be

why don't we do that for fantasy how can we combine their three names you should just draft tight ends tight end like the entire team's tight ends in fantasy that would be sick why don't see why don't we do that Higby and Parkinson's They're identical twins I'm convinced of it Yeah so I count those guys the same So he so He was hitting his tight end

He had eight completions to its tight end For almost 100 yards Yeah And McPherson was drilling them today I think he had two field goals Over 50 yards Great great week one win Yeah

For the Bengals Hank Are you scared of the Bengals Bengals are good yeah Okay Scared is not like They're formidable opponents. Yeah.

They, they, they, yeah. But I feel like today was like a weird, like, the AFC kind of got its groove back. The bills, the bills are the team. Like, it's, it's, they looked really good. And Josh Allen's in his prime. And they're, you know, they've been there. They're knock on the door.

They're the team that, you know, should be the team to beat. Can I give you another team? Sure. Ravens 41 Colts 23. Yeah. Because the Ravens' offense. Zayflowers.

150 yards he didn't play the entire second half yeah hit 150 yards he went out with the hampshire which actually is a big deal because they think they they they lost their first and third wide receiver which is just very ravens to be like look how sick our offenses we have deckland doyle a new jesse minters here things have changed oh yeah now we are just going to go back to not have any wide receivers yeah it was a great debut for jesse minter everything looked perfect for the ravens this is exactly what you want to see uh and for a new offensive play caller not forgetting about Derek Henry. Like, let's get him started.

Still has it. Derek Henry still got it. It's insane. He's 32 years old. Running back should not be this good. At 32 years old, he's played 10 years in the NFL as a running back. And like seven of those years have been massive amounts of carries. He is.

I think it was his 5,600-yard game. It was his, I know that he broke a, uh, uh, NFL record, it was his 26th, 100-yard game with multiple touchdowns. That's the NFL record. Yeah. 26 times he's had at least 100 yards and multiple touchdowns. That's stupid. I mean, he's just, I don't understand how he is, he's just a complete anomaly into what

we know about running backs and how it's like, oh, you know, you got to get them early because they only wants to get the miles on them, once they get their second contract, Derek Henry's, he's 32 years old. Yeah, so he's got 125. career rushing touchdowns. So we passed Marcus Allen today, third all time. And he's behind Emmett Smith and L.T. He's, I mean, he's, didn't we have this debate the other day that, like, he could be,

I guess though, I guess there's other running back, but like, he's going to be one of the last running backs that's going to go into, like, Hall fame for running backs is going to get very difficult. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you would have to have a, like a running back that maybe was sticking around on the dynasty for a while. Or, yeah, like, Terrell Davis, where it's like his peak for four years.

Yeah. Maybe Saquan will qualify for that. But running backs don't have long enough careers anymore. Besides Henry, the running backs that I would think would have a chance might be Christian McCaffrey. Yeah. But again, that's like a lot of cash cash. Jimier Gibbs has started it. Yeah.

If the Lions, yeah, if they continue on this path, then maybe Jimere Gibbs. But Derek Henry, see, he's incredible. Yeah. Also, this is another team. So I think there's just a trend now. And we've talked to a lot of our football guests that know football better than us. I think Orlovsky's a big guy with that. I think Nate Tice said this, stress us a lot.

But quarterback's going under center. Lamar was under center more than he's ever been in his career in this game, 67%. So that's probably a Declan Doyle imprint, you know, being like, there's a new team. We're going to run things differently. And it changes how teams can defend you because you can do a lot of stuff under center. So Joe Burrow and Lamar under center more than usual. Yeah, is Declan Doyle, the coordinator whose name sounds most like a bar owners?

Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Yeah. He's a bouncer. Come on down to Declan Doyles. Yeah. Yeah. He's got a red nose.

Yeah. He wears a scally cap. He's got like the pock marks on his face. It's Declan Doyle. He's a fucking great guy. Yeah, like a flame tattoo coming out of his sleeve. Yeah. He's a great guy.

Yeah. Drives a motorcycle. Didn't go to Notre Dame, but bleeds for the. Irish. You know that. Yep. All right. There is a bar owner named Declan Doyle

who owns Doyles of College Street in Dublin, Ireland. Are you serious? I mean, there's got to be a shitload of Declan Doyles in Ireland, yeah, Declan Doyle. Which, yeah. You go to Collins of College Street, which is famously owned and run by... What time is it in Ireland right now?

Max? Don't. Don't. Declan Doyle got like two DUIs, but not technically convicted of either. I don't think they do DUIs and Ari. He just had to volunteer. I'm saying like the generic Declan. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

He like gave up his keys to the judge and said, hey, just let's, boys will be boys. I'll stop, but you can have my keys. Yeah. Declan Doyle. 3.45 a.m. Get my rank. Yeah. Hey, congrats on your first game. There's Declan there. Got Lamar under center. Love that. It's a pro-style stuff from the kid. Shadow Tecklin's an old town. One of our

favorite bars. Yeah. But yeah. the Ravens, I don't know who they're going to have be wide receiver. If Zayflower has to miss time. As for the Colts, that's got to be one of the worst losses today. Not because, you know, you expected the Ravens are really good.

You might lose. But their defense looked, got absolutely gashed. And Danny Dimes looks rusty. I guess you should give him, we should give him some time, but he did not look great. Yeah, they just look. The final score is a lot close.

than this game was. 4123 is not indicative of to what this game felt like and how quickly, like, I think the Colts scored first even, and then how quickly the Ravens were in control of this game and dominated this game. If you look at all the nerd stats out there, Daniel Jones ranked towards the bottom of the league this week. He wasn't good. No.

No. Yeah, he looked rusty, which I guess, you know, he is coming back from, did he have officially an Achilles? Remember it was like a weird? Yeah, it was an Achilles. I think he had maybe a... They called it something else. He had like a sprained ankle and maybe a fibula.

Oh, then he did his Achilles. Yeah. So he broke that. Then his season kind of fell off a little bit. And then he popped the Achilles. That's right. He tried to play with the broken leg. Yeah.

Yeah, I remember now because we all were like, how do you play with a broken fibula? That sounds very serious. That was one thing today. And I know that this is not stating anything like that isn't very obvious. But the amount of hit, like the, the violence of the hits in the NFL versus college football is so different. And I think I said out loud during the gambling cave today, I was just like, playing the NFL must hurt so much.

Like so much. It just hurts. Car crash. It's got to just hurt so bad. I mean, playing high school football hurt. Like, you would wake up the next day feeling like you got run over by a truck in high school. I can't imagine NFL. And like it's routine hits.

It's routine like, oh, that guy just got slammed to the earth. And now he's up and he's walking around. and he's got to, you know, play another down. You know what I was thinking about? Forget about the implications of whether or not the fake turf is worse for ligament injuries and all that shit. Do you think it just sucks more to play on the fake turf because in the morning you wake up and you've got burns?

Yeah. Like your elbows and your knees? Yeah. You like take a shower and you're like, this sucks. That hurts. Definitely. That might be- picking the little rubber, like black rubber balls out of your skin and stuff.

Yeah. Suck beyond belief. It is kind of crazy that Daniel Jones is playing quarterback right now. Yeah. Like we do lose sight of that sometimes is you have an Achilles injury. And that used to be like minimum full year. Yeah. That's what I was saying.

You're a year and a half about Kittle? And Kittal. The fact that Kittal was out there in Australia playing. And just, let's see, Jacoby Lane. Fractured wrist. So Jacoby Lane will be out. That's your wide receiver three. A few weeks.

So I don't know what, it feels like the Ravens are right exactly back to where they started where it's like, hey, Zay Flowers, incredible game. Oh, yeah, now we don't have wide receivers again. Yeah. It just sucks for them. Trey Hendrickson was pretty good today. The pressure rate with him on the field was 59%. Without him on the field, it was 20%.

Okay. So the Ravens are probably pretty happy still that they got cold feet on the Max Crosby situation. Yeah, I would say so. And yeah, I think that Colts probably have, if we had to, maybe we'll do it at the end, like who had the worst loss. But I think the cults are up there. Yeah. Because it was an ass kicking.

And because... At home. At home. And it's like, yeah, if you lose this game to the Ravens and you look okay, you can live with it. But it was the third most points they let up in an opener in the Indianapolis era. They allowed 506 yards, which is the most in the era in Indianapolis. And they lost by 18, which was six worst defeat in their home opener. So not good.

Bombs over Baghdad. Bombs over Baghdad, not the Outcast song. The war. The war. The innocent lives lost. Yep. Is what we're talking about. Totally different.

Okay. We should take a break and we'll go to the rest of the early slate. It is brought to you by our friends at Draft Kings. The weight is over. Football is here and so is Draft Kings. The Draft Kings Sports app is now live in all 50 states. That means from Texas to California to Florida. Every fan is in on the excitement.

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outside the Colts, but like Saints, good game, even keeled, long season. I might overreact to this one. Bears 59, Panthers 37, because... I think you should overreact to it. That was fucking insane.

That was insane. I don't know that it's possible to overreact to how good the offense looked. The Bears scored two-touches. In the first quarter for the first time since 1988. 1988 was the last time they scored two touchdowns in the first quarter. Caleb Williams. That's honestly crazy.

That's crazy. That's crazy. Like you would think that there would be a game they'd just luck into two touchdowns, two offensive touchdowns in the first quarter. Yeah. Caleb Williams in his rookie season in 2024, the Bears in it took till their fourth game of the season for the Bears to reach 59 points. They did it in four quarters today.

It was, I mean, everything worked. Everything worked and it was insane to watch. Like, Caleb Williams, the throw he made to Cole Commet was erotic. The throw he made when he was going across his body, an absolute laser down the field. Clef Raymond looked awesome as like his security blanket. The run game, there was 291 yards rushing. Caleb had 60 yards, two touchdowns. Manung guy had 100 yards, a touchdown.

and DeAndre Swift, who looked incredible, just got paid 124 yards, three touchdowns. It was awesome to watch. Defense, different story. Offense, though, Ben Johnson said we're trying to break the record. And so far, obviously small sample size, one game, good start. On pace to break the record. Good start. To get 4,000 yards passing from Caleb.

The mustache is a nice addition. My only red flag with that is like, what took him so long? Well, I mustache is a great look on Caleb. I think he lost in the offseason, he like lost 10 to 15 pounds and like gained some muscle. That's like if I ever, whenever I go to just mustache, it means that I got on the scale and I've lost like 10 pounds. Because that is a good move when you, when you're when you've cleaned up a little. The first thing you want to show off is like check out this chin I got. Yeah, the lower half the face.

If it's swollen, you can't go mustache. Correct. You got to go beard. But when I saw the mustache, I thought to myself this, now this is a guy that is going to. absolutely lighted up for the Bears. If you have a mustache and you play quarterback for the Bears, I can't emphasize enough how strong of a fit that is. He's got the aura.

Yes. Yeah. It was just, it was insane to watch. He was, he just looked so calm. Yes, I know,

it's the Panthers. So the Panthers, uh, they're not, they're not the best team. Uh, I'd say that. That's fair.

They did, they were in the playoffs last year. I remember they kind of, they gave the Rams a game in that playoff game. But I'm not going to pretend that the Panthers are, the Texans are the Texans or the, the Seahawks defensively. There is some people.

I did go on a little bit of a retweet spree after the game. There was a guy who's a Panthers fan, the four-man rush. He said before the game, today is Belt Day for the Chicago Bears, the entire state of Illinois, the city of Hammond, and Bears FC worldwide is in absolute fear right now.

No more hiding behind a fluke 2025 season. That was inflated by a cupcake schedule. You got to see us now and this beat down will be brutal. This is your last chance to delete your weak trash talk post before the beat down at the bank. How many places are called the bank? There's a lot.

There's a lot of banks. But it was a belt game. It was a belt game. It was a belt game. He should have to throw away all of his belts. Yeah. And it was like other than, I mean, yes, the Luther burden fumbled to start. I was like, oh, shit, that wasn't great.

But just total command, the offense looked great. The fourth and one, I know people were, people probably pissed about that. It's weird call. but I think that's Ben Johnson is just going to do what he wants to do like you you can't you obviously can criticize anything but I'm of the belief like if you're going to buy into the Ben Johnson way of thinking you just got to be like do whatever and I'm going to back you and I think I'm there with him the thing is with Ben Johnson unlike a lot of other coaches he has a reason for everything that he does correct if you would love to look if you were to ask him why he did something he will have

an explanation for you and you might disagree with the explanation it might be dumb at times but he will have a reason that makes sense in his own brain. Why doesn't? Whereas a lot of other coaches kind of do things based on vibes. Right. This is what I think I'm supposed to do. So, yeah, you will live and die with a coach that says, you know, I'll back up what I say. There's a reason why I'm doing everything out here.

And the offense was pretty much, you can't ask for a better debut. Yeah. And I'm, I am there with Ben Johnson where like I will hand over all free will and thought and just give it to him and be like, whatever you say, I will just. say. I will just do whatever you do. Whatever you decide, I will say, yes, that was the correct decision. Did you toss him the keys? Yeah. The keys are long gone. Keys are in his hands. I'm hiding in the backseat of his car so that I can be like, hey, please take me home with you. That's where I'm at with Ben Johnson. He was, it was, and guess what? The other crazy thing,

and I, I'm not going to say that Ben Johnson did this on purpose because that would be very silly and, uh, like ridiculous. But Colson Loveland had zero catches. He's the best skill player the Bears have. He had zero catches. He led the Bears in receiving yards last year. He had zero catches. He had two targets. Caleb actually, one of his misses today was to Colson Loveland. He threw it behind him. Ben Johnson is so crazy. He's like, I'm going to score

59 points and we're not going to use Colson Loveland just to let everyone know, like, when we do use them, then it's on. I still got one. I still got one in the chain. I'm holding a card back just in case. The defense does look like it's a problem. Oh, yeah. Big time problem. That's going to be an issue. And we don't know how good the Panthers are. Coker looked awesome. Yeah, no, we made Bryce Young look pretty comfortable. I do like watching Tet.

I like watching Coker play. So they've got a couple pieces, but I don't think that their offense you would call it. You don't expect them to be in the top 10 of the league. No, I went into this game being like if the Panthers have their way with the Bears defense, it could be a really long season for the Bears defense. I just didn't think the offense was going to be this explosive and kill him. Like, just the way he processes now, he looks so comfortable in the offense. And the way he moves in the pocket and keeps plays a lot.

and I mean his running I mean that I saw that he has like the fastest quarterback runs I think he's got I can't remember I still don't know how they do the miles per hour I'm like in terms of on on field stuff or Giants just scored Giants look good deck is such a bum he stinks or you're talking about the chip in the shoulder pads is that what it is is that how they figured out? I think there's a chip there's a chip somewhere fastest runs by a QB in 2025 2026 seasons the top four are all Caleb Williams. He reached 21. He's over 20 miles an hour basically every time he really lets loose and goes. And he did that with that 30-yard rushing touchdown. Where he was reading the whole field, no one was open. He's like, fuck it, I'll just go. Yeah, I mean, the defense can be a problem.

At the end of him, I can, I'm never going to be able to say his name. Looks good. He was kind of all over the field. But it was one of those situations where, you're always a little nervous when your safety has to make a bunch of tackles and is in a bunch of plays. And you're like, where's, where's the other dudes? Yep. Where's the defensive line?

Where's the linebackers? But I can't, there's, I can't complain about anything today because that was so much fun to watch. 59 points is so many points. It's so many points. And they, and that was, I, they weren't really running any plays with like six minutes left. Like, they could have gone 60 if they wanted to. but a 50 burger it's incredible

it's absolutely incredible and oh I have one other treat I just wanted to read this is from Titletown Talks who's a Packer fan he said Bryce Young is significantly better than Caleb Williams he's taking complete control of the game the difference in their game is night and day I bet the bears wish they could swap QBs

I wonder when this was tweet a 1113 so it's probably like first round second or no it's probably like early second quarter a 1113 Central yeah yeah okay yeah So early second quarter, Bryce Young is taking complete control of the game. Yeah, I don't know about that.

I actually don't think there was ever a point in that game where that tweet was a... Gambling problem? Call 1-800-Gambler. 1-800-800-800-9-777-or-or-visit CcPG.org. On behalf of Boothill Casino in Kansas, bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21 and over, void in Canada. Bet with Draft King's Sportsbook to get bonus bets that expire in seven days or trade with Draft King's predictions to get predictions dollars that expire in one year.

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Nationwide based on sports book predictions and free-to-play sports contest availability. Ferries by state. Limited time offer. Appropriate. No. I mean, Bryce Young had a couple of nice drives, but it wasn't like the bears weren't answering. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, anything else on this game? It's fun. Fun watch. I have no idea with the, the NFC South sucks. That's my final comment on this. Went 0 and 4 this weekend. Oh, and 4 this week. Oh and 4.

Again, you lose this game if you're the Panthers and you're still in the driver's seat. Yeah. Oh, I had one last stat. This is just a Ben Johnson stat. This is why I give away my entire body. I wonder if I could sign that away. Would that be weird if I was like, if I went, I know I have a will because I know I went and like did that whole process, but what have I changed the will to be like

Ben Johnson gets to decide if I live or die if I'm like... Yeah, you can do that. You can assign specific, yeah, specific play call stone. They called him up. Well, no, it's just like, yeah, if he ever gets in a coma, like, don't ask my wife, don't ask my kids. Ask Ben Johnson.

Yeah, just in, in fourth and long situations. I feel like he'd ruthlessly pull the plug and be like, that's just a decision we had to make as a football team. Commercial use is excluded, no refunds. Okay, boys, we've been, I have we, I feel like we have not overreacted much. We've, we've been pretty, uh, like even like Texans, not a terrible loss, you know, uh, outside the Colts, but like Saints, good game, even keeled, long season.

I might overreact to this one, Bears 59 Panthers 37 because I think you should overreact to it. That was fucking insane. That was insane. I don't know that it's possible to overreact to how good the offense looked. The Bears scored two touchdowns in the first quarter for the first time since 1988. 1988 was the last time they scored two touchdowns in the first quarter. Caleb Williams.

That's honestly crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. Like you would think that there would be a game that just luck into two touchdowns, two offensive touchdowns in the first quarter. Yeah. Caleb Williams in his rookie season in 2024, the Bears in it took till their fourth game of the season. for the Bears to reach 59 points.

They did it in four quarters today. It was, I mean, everything worked. Everything worked, and it was insane to watch. Like, Caleb Williams, the throw he made to Cole Komet was erotic. The throw he made when he was going across his body, an absolute laser down the field. Kleefe Raymond looked awesome as, like, his security blanket. The run game, there was 291 yards rushing.

Caleb had 60 yards, two touchdowns. Manungi had 100 yards a touchdown. And DeAndre Swift, who looked incredible, just got paid 124 yards, three touchdowns. It was awesome to watch. Defense, different story. Offense, though, Ben Johnson said, we're trying to break the record.

And so far, obviously small sample size, one game, good start. On pace to break the record. Good start. To get 4,000 yards passing from Caleb. The mustache is a, Nice addition. My only red flag with that is like, what took him so long?

Well, mustache is a great look on Caleb. I think he lost, in the off season, he, he like lost 10 to 15 pounds and, like, gain some muscle.

That's, like, if I ever, whenever I go to just mustache, it means that I got on the scale and I've lost like 10 pounds. Because that is a good move when you, when you're, when you've cleaned up a little,

the first thing you want to show off is like, check out this chin I got. Yeah, and you can see it. If it's swollen, you can't go mustache. Correct. You got to go beard.

But when I saw the, mustache, I thought to myself, now this is a guy that is going to absolutely light it up for the Bears. If you have a mustache and you play quarterback for the Bears, I can't emphasize enough how strong of a fit that is. He's got the aura. Yes. Yeah. It was just, it was insane to watch. He was, he just looked so calm. Yes, I know, it's the Panthers. So the Panthers, uh, they're not, they're not the best team. Uh, I'd say that. That's fair. They did, they were in the playoffs last year. I remember they kind of, they gave the Rams a game in that playoff game, but I'm not going to pretend that the Panthers are the Texans or the Seahawks

defensively. There is some people. I did go on a little bit of a retweet spree after the game. There was a guy who's a Panthers fan, the four-man rush. He said before the game, today is Belt Day for the Chicago Bears, the entire state of Illinois, the city of Hammond, and Bears FC worldwide is in absolute fear right now. No more hiding behind a fluke 25 season. That was inflated by a Cupcake schedule.

you got to see us now and this beat down will be brutal. There's your last chance to delete your weak trash talk post before the beat down at the bank. How many places are called the bank? There's a lot. There's a lot of banks. But it was a belt game. It was a belt game.

It was a belt game. He should have to throw away all of his belts. Yeah. And it was like other than, I mean, yes, the Luther Burden fumbled to start. I was like, oh, shit, that wasn't great. But just total command, the offense looked great. than one. I know people were, people probably pissed about that.

It's weird call. But I think that's, Ben Johnson's just going to do what he wants to do. Like, you, you can't, you obviously can criticize anything. But I'm of the belief, like, if you're going to buy into the Ben Johnson way of thinking, you just got to be like, do whatever, and I'm going to back you. And I think I'm there with him. The thing is, with Ben Johnson, unlike a lot of other coaches, he has a reason for everything that he does. Correct. If you would, love to look. If you were to ask him why he did something, he will have an explanation for you and you might disagree the explanation. It might be dumb at times,

but he will have a reason that makes sense in his own brain. Why it does it? Whereas a lot of other coaches kind of do things based on vibes. Right. This is what I think I'm supposed to do. So, yeah, you will live and die with a coach that says, you know, I'll back up what I say. There's a reason why I'm doing everything out here.

And the offense was pretty much, you can't ask for a better debut. Yeah. And I'm, I am there with Ben Johnson where, like, I will hand over all free will and thought. and just give it to him and be like, whatever you say, I will just say. I will just do whatever you do.

Whatever you decide, I will say, yes, that was the correct decision. Did you toss him the keys? Yeah, the keys are long gone. Keys are in his hands. I'm hiding in the backseat of his car so that I can be like, hey, please take me home with you. That's where I'm at with Ben Johnson.

He was, it was, and guess what? The other crazy thing, and I, I'm not going to say that Ben Johnson did this on purpose because that would be very silly and, like, ridiculous. but Colson Loveland had zero catches. He's the best skill player the Bears have. He had zero catches. He led the Bears in receiving yards last year.

He had zero catches. He had two targets. Caleb actually one of his misses today was to Colson Loveland. He threw it behind him. Ben Johnson is so crazy. He's like, I'm going to score 59 points and we're not going to use Colson Lovelin just to let everyone know when we do use him. Then it's on. I still got one.

I still got one in the chain. I'm holding a card back just in case. The defense does look like it's a problem. Oh, yeah. Big time. It's going to be an issue. And we don't know how good the Panthers are. Coker looked awesome.

Yeah, no, we made Bryce Young look pretty comfortable. I do like watching Tett. I like watching Coker play. So they've got a couple pieces, but I don't think that their offense you would call it. You don't expect them to be in the top 10 of the league. No, I went into this game being like if the Panthers have their way with the Bears defense, it could be a really long season for the Bears defense. I just didn't think the offense was going to be this explosive and kill him.

Like, just the way he processes now, he looks. so comfortable in the offense and the way he moves in the pocket and keeps plays alive and I mean his running I saw that he has like the fastest quarterback runs I think he's got I can't remember I still don't know how they do the miles per hour I'm like in terms of on on field stuff

or Giants just scored Giants look good Dak is such a bum he stinks or you're talking about the chip in the shoulder pads is that what it is is that how they figured out? I think there's a chip there's a chip somewhere. Fastest runs by a QB in 2025, 2026 seasons, the top four are all Caleb Williams. He reached 21. He's over 20 miles an hour basically every time he like really lets loose and goes. And he did that with that 30-yard rushing touchdown where he was reading the whole field.

No one was open. He's like, fuck it. I'll just go. Yeah, I mean, the defense can be a problem. I'm never going to be able to say his name looked good he was kind of all over the field but it was one of those situations where you're always a little nervous when your safety has to make a bunch of tackles and is in a bunch of plays and you're like

where are the other dudes where's defensive line where's the linebackers but I can't I can't complain about anything today because that was so much fun to watch 59 points is so many points it's so many points and they and that was

they weren't really running any plays with like six minutes left. Like they could have gone 60 if they wanted to. But a 50 burger, it's incredible. It's absolutely incredible. And, oh, I have one other tweet I just wanted to read this is from Titletown Talks. He was a Packer fan. He said Bryce Young is significantly better than Caleb Williams. He's taking complete control of the game.

The difference in their game is night and day. I bet the bears wish they could swap QBs. I wonder when this was tweet. Oh, 113. So it's probably like First drive No, it's probably like early second quarter A 113.

Yeah, 113 p.m. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, so early second quarter. Bryce Young is taking complete control of the game. Yeah, I don't know about that. I actually don't think there was ever a point in that game

where that tweet was appropriate. No. I mean, Bryce Young had a couple of nice drives, but it wasn't like the bears weren't answering. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, anything else on this game? It's fun.

Fun watch. I have no idea with the, The NFC South sucks. That's my final comment on this. When 0 and 4 this weekend. Oh and 4 this week. Oh and 4. Again, you lose this game if you're the Panthers and you're still in the driver's seat.

Yeah. Oh, I had one last stat. This is just a Ben Johnson stat. This is why I give away my entire body. I wonder if I could sign that away. Would that be weird if I was like if I went, I know I have a will because I know I went and like did that whole process. But what have I changed the will to be like Ben Johnson gets to decide if I live or die if I'm like. Yeah, you can do that.

You can assign specific, yeah, specific play callstone. They called them up. Well, no, it's just like, yeah, if he ever gets in a coma, like, don't ask my wife. Don't ask my kids. Ask Ben Johnson. In fourth and long situations. I feel like he'd ruthlessly pull the plug and be like, that's just a decision we had to make as a football team. The games with 250 yards rushing since the start of 2025, the 35, the 31 teams not named

the Chicago Bears have four. the Bears have three. So they have three games with 250 plus yards rushing. That's like the, you think like offensive guru is going to pat. He still wants to be a physical team that establishes the run and demolishes you. And the combo of DeAndre Swift and Kyle Menungai, where Swift was so effective. And then you see Menongai come when the defense is like completely gassed, Manungai comes in.

He's just an absolute hammer and like impossible bring down. It's a hell of a combo. So run the ball, be physical. score a lot of points. Yeah, I would say that this is one of, if not the best, win the week. Yeah. Just got to get that defense maybe to like the 20th best defense would be.

I'd be cool with that. I think it's going to be a problem. We're going to be in shootouts pretty much every. We hit the over twice in this game. There's a perfectly average loss for the Carolina Panthers. Yeah. Although their defense got, yeah, I mean, that was a lot of yards. It was a ton.

It wasn't, it wasn't good. Really a lot of yards. Okay, next up, this is, basically the exact opposite game. Steelers 20 Falcons 13, where offense was pretty tough to come by for both teams. Different, for different reasons. Cooper Rush was a quarterback for the Falcons. That would be the explanation. Didn't play that bad, though. Didn't play that bad, but, you know, it wasn't like, Bejan, Bajon, excuse me, had 65% of their total yards. He had 173 yards himself. Cooper Rush certainly didn't play well.

No, he didn't play well. I mean, on the sliding scale of how well you think Cooper Rush is going to play. On the sliding scale

It was pretty bad. The guy got like It was. Max, if you're talking He had a 52 quarterback rating. It's Cooper Rush. Compared to every starting quarterback in the league,

but that's not, we're talking to Cooper Rush. He's a third-stron quarterback. Third-string quarterback barely got any rabbit. They missed this game. They missed two field goals and had a pick six. Obviously,

I had them in the Hunger Dog, so I was, like, locked in on this game. But, like, he... I'm sorry that you were locked in on this game. I'll tell you what, they were in this game, and the pick six was bad. TJ Waugh made an incredible play. Their field goal kick or miss two, like, makeable field goals. Well, it was a winnable game. Nick Folk, who actually...

He looks like he's 100 years old. He's older than PFT. He's 41 years old. Get him out of the league. He turns 42 in November. Get him out of the league. I know that he actually, statistically, was howdy... His helmet is atrocious.

He was... not a bad kicker the last few years, there has to be someone younger than 42 years old who can kick a football. When he misses a field goal and they show his, like, cut to him with his stupid helmet, like, that looks like he was playing in 1960, like,

I wanted to puke. And this is coming from a guy in Henry Lockwood who he can kick a field goal when his foot isn't dead. Yeah. But you know what? Like, I think that there's room in the league for kickers that look like absolute fat dorks. I'm sick as seeing jacked up kickers and they got the big biceps and they

tattoos. Cool helmets and tattoos and shit. Like, I kind of like seeing a kicker that just looks like a fat, pudgy, white dork. They make kicks, yeah. Yeah. That's, that's, um, now Nick Folk did stink today. Oh, he's wrong. But I just want to rewind for a second.

One thing I'm not going to allow this podcast to become is a Cooper Rush bashing podcast. I'm not. Okay? No. Maxes. He was good. Nick Folk was good last year. I'm saying.

He, like, it, it, he is good enough to still be in the league, but it, you just can't not tell me that a guy who's going to be who's older than us is the best option. I just don't understand it. Again, he was. He was good enough last year. He was pretty damn good. He was 28 for 29 last year, 21 for 22 the year before. So that's that's the answer.

29 for 30 the year before that, like, he missed three field goals last three years. He missed two today. Mm-hmm. That hurt. What's Young Way Coo doing? Am I reading this right? Probably not. No.

No, I am. What are you trying to read? Numbers? No. Numbers are hard. No, yeah. That one's an eight. I'm right.

I'm right. Fuck off. Usually when you see eight, you think of something different, but this means a number. Yeah, he was seven for eight from 50 or, uh, I don't fucking know. All right. You want to stat? I was right. I was right.

Do you guys want a stat that I don't understand whatsoever, but it's one of those ones. You ever see someone tweet something and you don't know what they're quantified or how they're explaining this, but it just looks really bad. And you're like, oh, that's bad. So there's a database, summer sports data set that has 1,097 games calculated

on total EPA for the game. So, like, how, what they're expected, what is it, expected point average? What is EPA? Let's figure that out first. Max, help us out. What does it mean? Environmental Protection Agency.

Yep, that's exactly right. Okay. EPA just means good stuff. Expected points added, yes. It's basically how to quantify how your offense is moving. Even like instead of just points, it's like, hey, how are you moving down to down? So out of the 1,000, 1097 games, this was the 1069th worst game in terms of EPA. For both teams.

Yes, combined. So it was an ass. So maybe Cooper Rush didn't play that well. This game was giant ass. In other words. Yes. The Steelers' offense does not look much different from what we've seen the last, I don't know, 10 years. I will say if D.K. Metcalf could catch a ball, it might have looked a little different.

Or also not push off. They did throw a few passes and a few routes that I've not seen out of the Steelers wide receivers. And he should have caught a couple. There were a couple that he probably should have grabbed too busy thinking about ice shelves. But it was a slightly different tweak. to the same formula that we've seen from the Steelers. And yeah, if they don't have Nick Folk missing those kicks, it might end up differently.

You have to beat Cooper Rush worse than this. Now, that being said, do we think that Cooper Rush actually played worse than Tua would have? No, actually, I think he probably played better. Yeah. Because the Steelers, I mean, in very Steelers fashion, they're very consistently the same team every year. And it was like, oh, yeah, T.J. Watson, absolute demon, two sacks. the pick six the end of the game.

Cam Hayward felt like he swatted like eight balls down. Alex Highsmith had two sacks. Their defense is still really, really good. It's just their offense is what we expect, and it's not like great stuff. One thing that you missed about TJ that I picked up on because I sit next to Jersey Jerry for these games, T.J's got a new muscle this year.

Yeah. Did you see that? Yeah, he said, yeah. In his arms. Yeah. He worked out extra hard and I guess unlocked a new muscle and his forearm. Yeah, his forearm.

So it's like completely different player. New weapon. That's so sick. Which is pretty incredible for a guy that's been, that's had such a great career. But yeah, new muscle. New muscle. The Steelers, by the way, are so,

which I know that we just talked about the Bears and it had been since 1988. They scored two touchdowns in the first quarter. The Steelers have now gone 68 straight regular season games without scoring more than seven first quarter points. So that's even a touchdown. in a field goal.

Yeah. 68 regular season games. It's a lot. They're the same team. Good for McCarthy, though. Good for McCarthy win in his first game as Steelers coach. Does he look skinnier or is he just wearing black? He's wearing black and he's paler.

He's been out of the sun. Okay. I thought he looks skinny. I thought you were joking. Oh, no. He looks slim, dude. He looks really good. You didn't think he looks slim?

No. I thought he looked good. I disagree. I thought he looked. I thought it was like a hot. No. He looks. Borderline.

Look how fat he is, yeah. No, I think he, maybe, again, and maybe it's just the fact that he's wearing black now, but he looks, yeah, look at, I think it's also, he looks skinny, dude. Yeah, look that. That's, he looks good. He should do the kale booms.

He should probably shave his beard and let us all see his jaw. That's a skinny guy. I also know what you're saying, Hank. During the games, the cameras didn't zoom in. Because in Dallas, they would zoom it. They would just, like, they would fit his face to, like, touch every side of the screen. It was just like the screen would be nothing

but Mike McCarthy's face and jowls. The cameraman maintained a respectful distance today, I think. I think he looks pretty damn skinny. Also, after the game, Aaron Rogers gave Mike McCarthy a game ball, which I didn't know that... Did he eat it? I guess Aaron Rogers is just like in charge of...

He's the coach of the team. I guess he's been there longer than Mike McCarthy. He's like, good job, Mike. Welcome aboard to my team. Was that the whole problem with Rogers and Tomlin? he's like, I can't be the, I can't give game balls because Tomlin's been here longer than me. That might have been it. Yeah, I might have butted heads.

We should say, Darnel, Washington, put a man through the earth. That was one of the most violent, stiff arms ever. He is so scary of a human being when he gets like, when he catches the ball and has even a little, like five yards of space

where he can get a little bit of speed going. It's crazy. And the thing is, I think he looks smaller. Yeah. I think, Darno Washington looks a little bit smaller they did last year. Maybe by the end of the season, he'll get back up there, but he looks faster. Yeah. He's just the biggest guy in the NFL.

That was such a violent. Like, you just got... That guy's got to quit. He's got to quit. You can't go back on a football field after that and be like, hey, guys, I'm ready to play. That guy needs to call in sick for Monday when they watch the film. He needs to pull a Shane and call in sick. after the Chargers lost of the Cardinals.

Oh yeah, that's right. Shane did that. You should be allowed to use a lasso to tackle him. I think that's fair. Because, like, you can't bring him down man to man. Yeah, I don't even, actually, I think he's so big. I don't even think you could hip-drop him. No.

You just be, you just, you can't face-mask him. You just hop on the backpack. He's like CT when he backpacked. Johnny Bananas. Yeah. He kind of looks like that when he's running down the field. It's crazy to watch. All right, so do we think the Steelers are,

any different than they've ever been. I think a little bit different. In what way? Aaron Rogers is doing... Mike McCrothie's skinny. Well, yeah, he's skinny. Aaron Rogers is doing podcasts before games, which I like.

Yep. He's got his own platform. Yep. Or I guess not his own, but his teammates platform. He finally can say what he's thinking. That's actually like underrated good teammate move on Aaron Rogers going on your teammates podcast.

Yeah. Instead of a national platform. So get your buddy some views. We need to get him on Big Ben's. Oh, Brandon Aubrey just missed an extra point. Brandon Aubrey just Go for two. Yes, you go for two there.

It's the math. That is the math. Now they have to go for two. I also, I bet the Cowboys over 20 and a half. That stinks. I just realized that. Yikes. That stinks.

That absolutely stinks. That still hit the over, though. Hank, whose lines is anyway? You're playing the Steelers next weekend. I know. How? Jerry? Yeah.

Yeah. I know too. Is it, where's the game? In New England. That's going to be the Patriots minus three and a half. Five and a half. Oh. Jerry said it was wildly disrespectful.

I kind of agree. I don't. The Steelers are the same team they've always been, which doesn't mean they can't be like a decent team because their defense, again, is very good. And the Patriots are desperate now. That's true. and they almost lost the Cooper Rush. So, like,

but five and a half. I'm just, I'm just still, I'm still down and just, you know, not feeling great after last week. So it seems crazy to be such heavy favorites, but.

It was banner night. Yeah, but it was. Hostile environment. 12. Spencer Hawes. Yeah, I think the desperation factor definitely plays in here where the Patriots need to win this game.

So, I would think. I don't know. I just, I just, so, I didn't see anything from the Steelers or it's like, wow, that team is, they're really different than what we've always seen from the Steelers. The more I think about it, I think their team is just TJ.

It's hard to say because it's the Falcons. But shouldn't they have beaten the Falcons way? But they never beat teams. Like they never win games that they're supposed to win handling. Yeah, where's the last time the Steelers won a game like 37 to 3 or 37 to 7? Let's see. I can't remember. one off the top of my head.

I think they beat down the Bengals after they lost to the Bengals. They beat the Patriots last year. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they beat the Bengals 3412 last year. Okay. With Mason Rudolph. Huh. Mason Rudolph, QB1.

Yeah, you're right. They don't normally, even with Cooper Rush playing. And Bichon, I feel bad for Bajon. I guess that would be the one takeaway if you're the foul. Like you did stay in this game and if Michael Pennix can come back, maybe it looks a little different. And everyone in the NFC South did lose today. Yeah, that's a good thing. Yeah, this is no, um, everybody had the same loss above replacement this week.

Yes, yes. Uh, okay, next game. Memes, you ready? Jets 23, Titans 10, absolute beat down by the Jets. Bellas. fellas. What a stress-free day of watch at football. This guy. The Jets go

to Nashville and play a lifeless, that's what the reporters were saying after the game. And you love reporters. Lifeless Titans team. It was fun. You beat the shit out of them. Beat the shit out of them. Scored one touchdown. The game was over. The Titans had the longest play from scrimmage was 14

yards. They can't do anything. They're the exact same team as last year. Not to overreact. But they looked just awful. They're not just the same team. They did the hypothetical if you combine the Jets and Giants, which they did. Yeah. You would just end up losing to the Jets.

They would just still be the same. Yeah. Yeah. They did change one. The uniforms look better. If you combine the Jets and Giants, you just lose to the Jets. But you know what I mean about the uniforms not looking real yet? Yeah, not yet.

But, I mean, they did look better. And like, it was an easier screen to look at, is what I'm saying. It was pleasing to the eye to see that baby blue. But memes, this was just an aspect. absolute shit pumping that you gave him. Gino looked great. Gino, 3,612 days, I believe, since his previous start with the New York Jets. Yeah. He's back. The rushing attack looked really good. Oh, Brise Hall looked awesome. Braylon. And then it was just, I want Cam Ward to be better than he is because he seems like he's, I like his quotes. He seems like he's locked in.

he's a good story. I don't know if he's going to be the guy or not. I want him to be, but every week I feel like I get further and further from thinking that he is. Yeah. It does not look any different. It looks actually almost weirdly worse because the Jets dominated him that bad.

Memes, that was the most you have the Jets have outgained an opponent in a week one game since? 2016? 2014. No, close. With Gino. So now you guys are back. Yeah, that could be one of those things that if he never got punched in the face,

he probably still could be the quarterback. I think you also won, like, week one that year and then lost like seven in a row. Yeah, that sounds right too. Yeah. But yeah, and you had also all your rookie, like, Sadiq scored a touchdown. Cooper had a nice play. David Bailey had a sack. It's like everything's coming up Jets.

Meems, you're a winner. Yeah, Omar Cooper's first catch and run. thought he was going to turn into the greatest receiver ever. Unfortunately, they did get her. The offensive line looked pretty good, too. Offensive line, they just gave all day to throw. Gino said, I don't think I got touched once all day. That's pretty good.

Yeah, no, Gino was slinging it. Guys were just wide open, and credit to Aaron Glenn, they just stopped to the game plan. So right now, the Giants are winning. They're up 28 to 20. Three minutes, 40 seconds left, and the fourth. Yep. With the Jets winning, if this score holds, I believe the last time both teams won in week one was 2009. Damn.

That's a long time. Yeah. That's a long-ass time. That is a long-ass time. I remember 22 that they won on the same week a lot. But now we, yeah. I don't know about week one. Yeah, yeah.

But memes, this is between this and the Knicks, I mean, congratulations. He's got just a different, just completely. Hank's sitting on that couch right now because he's a cuck. And New York is just like that town. Do you feel it coming off memes? He's a different guy. I'm happy for him. Me too.

He's just a cheery guy. He's a different guy. You're not happy for him. He congratulated everybody. He walked back to the desk. He was like, congrats Max. Congrats Colton.

No, I didn't say congrats. Max wasn't saying back there. I said, congrats of Colton. Colton's out. I mean, he was the Cardinals. I have a question. That was an upset win.

The Jets were supposed to win that game. I had to, I bet the Jets and Giants were in The Hungry Dog. Like, I was, I was pro New York this weekend. Cooper Rush fucked you. Yeah. But I don't. No, the fucking Nick Folk.

Yeah. 42 year old kicker. Are the Titans? Cooper Rush played good. Are the Titans the most depressed? Cooper Rush did not play good. He played fine for Cooper Rush. Are the Titans the most depressed fan base right now currently?

Yeah. Because, like. Yeah, without a doubt. And I know the Browns obviously are always in the. conversation. It's got to be the Browns. No, no, no, but hear me out. Hear me out. And we'll get to the Browns game. I don't, I'm not saying that Browns fans don't want to win. I do think they want to win. But I think because of the history of the Browns, their depression is almost like a personality trait that it's not like, how did we get here? They're almost like, this is where we've always been. Luser City. Yeah. Well, no, they're not

loser city. Yeah, they're depressed because of their football team, but it's like, you know, a lot of artists have huge amounts of depression too. struggle and they still go out there and make like great music right for example um but that that's kind of the browns fan base also the browns fan base they're more angry and pissed off they're like they're feeling something right i think the titans their fan base might be so depressed that they're just kind of like they're stuck in that they're just numb and they're like well this sucks i don't feel anything and they're almost their uh their owners almost like uh like an absentee parent who's like trying to buy buy them away with new gifts and shit like hey you here are some new uniforms.

Ooh, new stadium. Oh, new, new coach. We got Jets and Giants coaches for you guys. Yeah, this is going to be fun. And it's like, no, we still suck. We just want you to be here and be present. The crowd, like, cleared out of this game. And it was, there was a fire sala chant that was audible.

This is his first game. It's a tight thing. There was a guy who yelled back, bring Wisen Hunt. And you could hear it on the broadcast. that is some like that is the most rock bottom thing you could ever say bring back whizzen hunt we miss it we miss Mike malarkey come on I'm laughing but I'm not like I I feel for titans that's so brutal what do you think about cam ward because I he was a great college quarterback his last year he's a lot of fun to watch I haven't really seen no like the best plays that he's made in the NFL have been plays

that are like, oh, shit, please don't do that. Oh, my God, I can't believe that worked. Yeah. I think it's a... Cam Ward could be a good quarterback. He's in a terrible situation. Yeah. So it's not like...

I just always wonder about that, you know? Like, situation obviously matters. Coaching matters. Yeah. I mean, look at Caleb year one to year two. Like, the coaching matters. So, and maybe he'll get better this year, but... I have not seen it.

They did have one wild-ass play call today where they faked in the end-round that, like, ran behind Cam Ward, and he tossed the ball up in the air. Yeah. Like he was pitching it to them, but he was just tossing it up to himself. And then I forget what happened after. I think he just kind of ran forward, maybe took a sack on it. But for the first half that play, I was like, oh, shit, the Titans are up to something. This offense could be fun. And then it just wasn't fun.

No. There was no fun. Yeah, Omar Cooper looked good. Kenyon Sadiq looked awesome memes. You got to be happy. about everything. Yeah, I'm fired up. What about,

Gino's silling in it? Where do we stand about Titans fan, Ballin FB, who said, if the Titans lose, I will walk from MetLife to Nissan Stadium. And then after the game, he said, all you people in my mentions, I'm not walking.

Yeah. I would say that Ballin F, F, FB, you're cursing the Titans, but I don't really know, like, what could get worse. You know what I'm saying? I'm trying to think. Like, oh, no, you're not false.

following through you, you're going to, you're going to make the Titans bad. Stadium funding gets pulled. I think they already built it. The inspector, the inspector does the walk through and he's like, you can't play football here. Oh, shit. There's an, there's an active volcano underneath this football stadium. It's down to crack and there's some, there's mold. Yeah.

Yeah, like, that's how sad. That is, that's actually, ball and FB is, he, he is a perfect embodiment of the Titans current state in the fact that he he's making a claim not following through and I can't even be like how could you do that dude mm-hmm it's like whatever his punishment is bad enough he has to watch the titans you know what I mean yeah normally when these things happen like the BYU guy who had to stick a burrito up his ass like dude we're gonna see you stick this burrito up your ass we're not going to stop bothering you till you put this burrito up your ass did you do it yeah he did hell yeah uh this guy this guy I

really care. Don't walk. Who cares, dude? The Titans, who cares? Memes, this stat, is this true that this was the Jets' first opening drive touchdown that they scored since 2016? That's sick.

That is true. You guys are so back. I can't even begin... Words are not covering how back you are. We are so back. What is going through your head right now? That the Jets are a year ahead of schedule. Oh, I love that.

There's nothing better than being a little bit ahead of schedule. Because they're not supposed to be good. They're plus what, 30,000 to win the Super Bowl? So, like, bottom four team is expectation. But, like, today was one of those, it separates you from the dog shit. If that makes sense. Yep. That does make sense.

Let me finish my thought, and then I'll call on you PFT. Thank you. But, like, nah, now I lost my thought. I'm sorry. PFT, question. Yeah, PFT Comptor, part of my take podcast. Barcelona sports. Are the Jets too good? Too good? No, no. Because

there were still a ton of mistakes. Did you see the kick today from the kicker? I saw the kick from the kicker, yeah. It was like the worst kick in history. That was a really bad, bad guy. Actually, let's go to our kicking expert, Hank. Hank, how bad was I didn't see it, but I'll take PFT's word for it. He's a kick guy. It was garbage. It was just dead hook to the left. But then he figured out how to Marrax's like a kick. happens. That happens. But then he figured it out. Yeah, which also happens. But yours, you didn't figure yours out. I did. Then I got deadfoot. Do you think that the Jets kicker is going to accidentally

drive into his garage store tonight? I don't think so. I don't think so. But do you know what I'm saying? Like, why are, do you think the Jets might be too good for right now? No, because they still had that bad clock management at the end of the half. They just have some stuff to clean up, some obvious stuff to clean up. Are you worried that they might win too many games? Is what I'm asking? No, we have so many picks. That's the- Okay. head of schedule. Okay. We have the Colts pick.

We have the Cowboys pick. So yeah, you've got teams to actively root against. Yeah, this is a great year because you could ruin your draft stock while also hate watching other teams, hoping they get you a high pick. Who do you have next? Packers. Dude, what if you beat the Packers? That'd be so sick.

No, Mika. That'd be so sick. Do it. Do it. I dare you to do it. So this was the separation game. and then next week to see where you're actually at. This is a separation from the bottom.

From the bottom. Yeah. And now it's, let's see what kind of football team you are. Okay. So if you win next week, you're now officially a good team, actual football team. That's a good team. Good team. Good team.

Yeah, moving on up. Yeah. Where do you think you be, where should we list the Jets and the power rankings? Not bad. But like if we're doing numbers. Ooh. 17. Wow.

That's good. Yeah, that sounds right. What about? I do, I am looking forward to just seeing the Jets name above the other teams that are 0-1. Yeah. Yeah. Patriots, Rams, you know?

Well, you think they'll be above them in the power rankings? One and O. You're talking about standings. I don't think you're talking about power rankings. No, no, you have to. Power, yeah. That's not how you do power rankings? That's actually a good question.

How many O and one teams will the Jets at 1 and O be behind in the power rankings? No, you have to be ahead. of all of them. I don't know if that's how it works when you play the Titans. You play who you play. I agree. I agree with that. You're head of the Browns.

Definitely. Head of the Titans. Head of the Colts. I put you ahead of the Chargers. That's the one I'm interested to see. What? I think it should go by record. Okay.

Okay. Well, they do have a system that sorts of, it by record. Yeah, then that's just standing. That's like I said, you said the standing. You don't want power rankings. You want standing. Yeah, you want standing.

Which standings, I can show you standings. I'll screenshot it and send you standing. But the standing should have some influence. No, no, no, no. Into the power range. I think they do. They have some, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

But like, the Colts last year, like, were they ever number one in the power rankings when I think they had the best record in the NFL? I think so. I don't think so. At a certain time, they were on. I don't think they were. I don't think they were number one. So, like, tomorrow, power rankings should be one through 16 of one and no.

No. I like, I like this. So you want me to change how I do power rankings. For week one. Okay. Power rankings have gone one way forever. Memes is entitled to make his own power ranking. Yeah, no, I always say when people get upset about my power ranking and say, make your own.

So why don't you make your own? And just have it be strictly by win loss. Yeah, no. You'll have to be the standings. But week one, you guys aren't, so like week one, everybody's one. want to know. Yeah. And then there's other teams that don't have any wins.

Mm-hmm. So they're 16 through 32. Right. No. Yeah, we understand that concept. You're making this. This is... Memes, just do your power rankings based on, like, the facts of what the records are,

and then point differential to separate the teams that have identical records. Yeah, look. And that's your power ranking. Memes, do you are, right now, I'm looking at it. You're one, two, three, four, five, six, seventh in the power rankings. if you just go sort by record and then point differential. There you go. There you go.

Top ten. Hank, are you concerned about the Jets? No. The Jets are ahead of you in all the power rankings right now. Why not? Because they're the Jets. Okay, well, that history, never mind. Never mind, Hank.

But if I were you, I would be a little bit concerned that they're building something. The future might not be totally dead. Yeah, they're head of schedule of not being a bottom four team. Congrats. I found a website that did power rankings already. Already? Okay. And the Jets are...

They got the Jets at 28. That's bullshit. It's up two spots. Wow. Huge. That's a climber. You need to be up at least 12. Do you guys want to play whose line is anyway for Jets Packers?

Yeah. Yeah. Where is it? Jets. It's in New York. I looked it up. Jets minus six. I think it's after everything I just heard

I think it's Packers Plus 3 I'm sorry Packers minus 3 I'm gonna say Packers minus 4 and a half Bang 4 and a half Nice

I thought it would be a little I think that's respectable line for the I thought it'd have been higher So they're yeah I think that they're Vegas and the Jets are going to be in that game Well But

4 and a half yeah The spread is is a power ranking of sorts. Yes. The Packers are 0 and 1. The Jets are 1 and 0. The Packers are favored by 4.5 in...

You're just going to confuse them. I see where you're saying. I see where you're coming from. Vegas doesn't respect the power rankings. Yeah. That's true. That's facts. Yep.

True. Okay. Last game of the early slate, Jaguars 34, Brown's 10. Jaguar's good. Brown's bad. That's about it. Deshawn Watson,

really bad? Well, the score is better than it was too. Which is crazy to say because it was 34 to 10. Is Deshawn Watson Mr. 4th quarter?

He was 7 for 7 127, 126 yards. The score was 34 to 3. Yep. It was the absolute definition of junk of garbage time. In quarters 1 through 3,

he was 9 for 15 for 79 yards. Yeah. The Browns had... He's so bad. The Browns had... It's going to be tough to beat this one all season, maybe the saddest field goal that we'll see all year.

They were down 31, I believe in the third quarter, kicked a field goal to cut a four-score game to a different four-scores. And then right after that, immediately lost it back and went down, I believe, 34 to 3. Yeah. Todd Monkin, I understand why I did it. He's a first-year head coach. You don't want to get shut out in your first game as a first-year head coach. Yes, I'd agree. But also...

Well, he forgot about Mr. Fourth Quarter. I forgot about Mr. Fourth Quarter, but also extremely sad kick to have Todd Monkinson and his team out there to try. And after the game, all the... He's very quickly learning what it's like to be a head coach

for the Cleveland Browns. Because every question was just, what are you going to do about the quarterback? Yeah. He's like, I don't know, man. Everyone sucks. He said, I'm sure he's hell not firing me when he was asked about Sean Watson.

So he's already getting to defensive in being like, hey, I'm not going to fire. I'm not firing me, guys. I'm not firing our staff. I'm not getting rid of all of our players. He happens to be one of 53, so we'll evaluate everything. We just didn't play good enough, didn't coach well enough. Also, Todd Munkin, I'm not saying that I don't believe him because it seems like a nice guy.

Did you see that he did a Dan Hurley in the post game? He drank his own piss? No, a different Dan Hurley. Head budded? he said we're not where we want to be and they better get us now. I don't know, dude. Mm-hmm. This is famously Dan Hurley calling his shot when he was like,

get us now because we're coming. We're going to be a lot better. And then he called his shot and won national titles. Todd Munkin is kind of trying to do the same thing like, hey, you can beat us now, but watch out for the Browns later. I hope you get your kicks in. Yeah, have fun beating us this year. And everyone's going to be like, yeah, okay, yeah, sure.

We will. That sounds actually awesome. I think we will do that. Yeah. The Jags have won, I believe it's seven in a row. In regular season, yeah. In the regular season. So nine, well, no, so they lost to the bills, right, the playoffs?

So, yeah, I guess it would be seven in a row. In regular season. In regular season. Their offense looked awesome. Yeah, Trevor Lawrence was never, like, pressured. He threw the ball to, I think, nine different targets. Nine different guys caught a pass. He looked super comfortable.

they picked up basically right where they left off. And it was, they dominated. They absolutely shit. They killed. They dominated the Browns. This was never a game. The Browns, Deshawn Watson. And we were wrong.

Like, obviously it's a long season. But the defense didn't look much better than, like, we thought the defense is going to be keeping them in games. Didn't happen today. Not at all. Did not happen. That's why I give a lot of credit to the Jags offense. Because I do think that the Browns defense, they're not disenfest.

bad. Right. I think they'll show that they're going to be one of the stronger units in the league. But today it was just a masterclass from Liam Cohen and Trevor Lawrence. Yeah. Yeah. It was dominant. Yeah. It was dominant. And they even had Josh, Josh Hines Allen was said after the game that he was shocked the Browns took the ball. He said when the Browns wanted to receive, I was like, oh, okay. Then we got an interception five plays it later.

It's like, yeah, that's exactly how the game went. I mean, Deshaun Watson threw a perfect pass to the linebacker. It was game over. It was game over right then and there. And there's something about like getting your ass kicked in Jacksonville in September when it's a million degrees. It just looks extra bad. The sun is so bright, you know? You like really look like a bad team when that happens.

People are in the pool laughing at you. Yeah, yeah. There were some people that were wearing browns, jerseys and Jaguars hats. I figured they just must be either very confused. I thought that was, so it was someone wearing a Shador jersey and a Jaguar hat, I just assumed they're a huge Colorado football fan. Yeah, that makes sense. Maybe a member of the Sanders family.

Yeah. Yeah. That would be the only, I don't even know, like, but is that a faux pot? Like, everyone just be like, I don't know what's going on, dude. Yeah, they're doing split uniforms to make their, to make the Browns feel better. because they're so bad. Yeah. Like not even taking you seriously as an opponent.

I feel bad for Browns fans. I do. Yeah. It's got to be such dog shit to deal with this year in, you're out, no end to the... And just when you seem like you have maybe an answer, you throw that away,

and the way that you throw it away is by making your team not only unwatchable, but also unroot-forer. in terms of who you decide to bring in to turn around your team from a spot where you're at the best place that you've been in maybe the last 30 years. Yes, that's...

I feel bad for Browns fans. Oh, it goes without saying. You don't even... You really don't even have to say it. It's like kind of an implied it's a test of whether you're a human being or not. Do you feel bad for like... It's just, it's a shitty...

Their franchise just kicks him in the nuts repeatedly. I also respect... Repeatedly. I respect the fuck out of Browns. fans. Oh, definitely. Hank? Yeah. Do you respect Browns fans? Ohio State lost and a heartbreaker on Saturday. Yeah, tough, tough, tough weekend for the people of Cleveland. I, I just hated to see it. There's probably a lot of Ohio State Browns fans, and they just woke up mad and they're going to wake up Monday even more mad. That's the one

thing. And that's just too bad. At least they have a beautiful, you know, oh, just never mind. And beautiful what? Just, just they live in Cleveland. or Ohio, so they're, they're... Cleveland's actually pretty nice. Yeah, the flats have come a long way, hang. Don't do that. Machine Gun Kelly. You're an enemy of the state of Ohio.

Bone thugs. I know. Yeah, they say terrible things to me. They deserve this. Well, you said terrible things to them. Not really. Yeah, you said the truth. Truth hurts.

I do sometimes forget that Browns fans are usually Ohio State fans, and that that makes me feel better about the whole situation. I don't. Tate always reminds us. I think that it's nice that the universe. kind of slap like it shakes your hand on Saturday and then slaps you in the dick on Sunday. Not right now. Isle States lost three out of last four?

Isn't that a crazy thing to say out loud? Must three out of the last four. Maybe Todd Monkin get a little nipple pierce. Well, I kind of like what you're about to do there, Todd DeMunkin. Todd DeMunkin. I think he should maybe come in as Todd DeMunkin. Everything runs on Munkin. Todd DeMunkin.

Yeah. Todd DeMunkin, I think, would bench Deshawn. For sure. It's just so crazy that they're in a situation where, like, Deshaun actually might be the best option they have. I don't doubt that at all. Right. They don't even have a Cooper Rush. They should trade for a Cooper Rush.

Flacco. Yeah, I mean, this is the curse of Flacco. They go to the playoffs, Joe Flacco. Joe Flacco is, like, the best dude ever. Who do you think? Wait, so how many yards passing did Deshawn have in the fourth? 126 yards 7 for 7 you got to build off that yes I'm saying mr fourth quarter just build off it yeah that's like Drake in the in the Super Bowl yeah

9 for 15 79 yards in the first three quarters which some would say is just as important because if you play that bad in the first three quarters you'll probably be down 34 to three you think uh you know the the terrible towels they have in jacksville called the jag the jagrag mm-hmm you think joshan took a couple home yes definitely yeah yeah yeah Yeah. Well, who is the, Gino said, I wasn't even touched today. Yeah. That's Deshawn's worst nightmare. Mm, not be, yeah.

Wasn't even touched. He should go to that place by the, Zach. Probably is better. Are the Browns in town? Do they come to Chicago this year? No, they came last year. I bet he did. Yeah.

Multiple times. Brown's at the Bucks next weekend. I talked to a Browns fan close to us, and he said this is their Super Bowl next week. So, that's, pathetic. Yeah, it was tough. What do you mean? He said this is the Super Bowl.

No, it's not. For some reason, our Browns fans are somehow mad at Baker Mayfield for them getting rid of him. That doesn't make any sense. That makes no sense. I mean, I guess... Be mad at your organization. I understand that Baker played while he was injured, and so he wasn't as good as he could have been. But you have to understand Baker, and you have to have somebody that's willing to bench him.

Be like, hey, dude, get surgery. I will say, all right, one positive thing for the Browns. Ready? Won the Miles Garrett trade thus far. Miles Garrett, knee surgery out for at least four weeks. Yeah, that's true. You won the Miles. Jared Verst didn't have a great game today,

but you still, you won the Miles Garrett trade thus far. Yeah. Miles Garrett wins a ring. Maybe we changed the update on who won the trade. But as of right now, you're the winner of that trade. If I'm Todd DeMunkin, what I would do after this game is I would keep the boys in Florida. Yeah. You know how like Sean McVeigh likes to keep guys on the East Coast if he's playing back-to-back games?

Yep. You lose the Jags, you got the bucks. Let's just stay in Florida this week. Let's say we don't want to screw up the time zones, even though I'm pretty sure Ohio and Cleveland is the exact same time zone. You can't bounce. If you make that many trips back and forth between Florida and Ohio, there's going to be flock cameras that puts you on suspicion of meth dealing. Yes. So you want to just stay in Florida for a long time, get a nice hotel maybe by the beach.

a lot of great places to go out to eat in Florida, get some good seafood in Tampa, and maybe hit some of the gentlemen's clubs there. Mm-hmm. And acclimate yourself. Sounds like a good time. Yep. Sounds like a good time.

We're getting paid to be an NFL head coach right now. Why not enjoy yourself, Todd? Todd DeMunkin, let loose. Let those fingers fly. Okay, let's break and we'll come back with the afternoon slate and also Saturday football. Before we get to more football, it's brought to you by our great friends over at Simply Safe.

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The verification required to use a balance. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bank Bank N.A. Okay, afternoon games. Let's start. Should we start with the Eagles, Commanders? should we end with the Eagles Commanders. What do you want, Max? I mean, you're the one who's going to be going through it.

I'm not going through it. If you mean providing honest and right down the middle straight up recap of the game? Yeah, that's what, yeah. That was a good promo. Wolves end with Eagles. Yeah, yeah, cliffhanger.

Dolphins, Raiders, 27. Dolphins 13. I don't know. The dolphins are just, they might be the worst team. in the NFL. Do the Dolphins play the Titans this year? That would be the shit pole.

We got to, we got a... That should be a Thursday night game. The, the reason why, uh, if we go back and talk about, you know, how the Titans are the most depressed fan base, at least the Dolphins know, everyone knows, Dolphins fans, dolphins organization, we're rebuilding all of it. Yeah, this is actually, it's, it's going to suck this year. Right. And maybe next year for the Dolphins.

Right. But they're trying to do it the right way, I would say. I mean, the best part of this game for Dolphins fans, Malik Willis had cool shoes. I had the opposite take. You don't like the Emerald Sparkly slippers that he put on? I think you need to be a good football team to be wearing those. I think you should start with maybe shoeless.

Max Crosby made him shoeless for a play. He ripped his shoe off. Max Crosby was everywhere. These are the type of games. Max Cron's good all the time. but especially when it's like you're not even putting a real football team out there. Max Robbins is just going to fuck you up. He was pressured.

Malik Willis pressured 17 times, sack five times. I think the shoes are a little too sparkly for how bad the dolphins are going to be at football. I think the shoes work though. Yeah. Because I think they worked in that they were like a distraction. Yeah. Like you see some animals have like little things on their body that they used to lure would be predators away. Yep.

Like that's what it did for Max Crosby. he was like, oh, Sparkly Shoe, he tackled that, and Malik Willis got away on that play. Yeah, yeah. So I guess it cost him, it earned him one sack. But yeah, the dolphins are going to be bad all year long. It's going to be very, very ugly. The Raiders actually, again, I don't know if it's because they were playing the dolphins,

but the Raiders, they didn't look bad today. They didn't look bad. I don't know. I think Fernando Mendoza is going to play sooner than we think. Because Kirk Cousins, you know, incredible career. I actually think he's going to be good, you know, if he wants to stay a backup and be on an NFL Ross for a while. But it feels like he doesn't have the same zip, downfield zip. Maybe it's because of the age injury.

I don't know. More touchdown passes than John Elway today. That's true. He just, uh, it just wasn't like it didn't. And also this is not on Kirk all, like all of it on Kirk because they don't have a ton of weapons. Brock Bowers is out. It didn't feel like the Raiders were ever threatening downfield. And if you, when you play a team that's not named them.

Miami Dolphins, it might look a little different. Yeah, it's a very good possibility. But he was, he was a competent, he's been better than what the Raiders have had. He had 70% completion percentage. Like, he has raised the floor of what the Raiders have been doing at the quarterback position. I would say, like, especially without having Brock Bowers. Yeah. The offense didn't look terrible.

Kirk Cousins, three touchdowns, two interceptions. That's a very uncirk Cousins stat line. So I like that he was at least, I like that he puts a ball in danger every now and again. Good for Kirk. Yeah, but like 30 attempts for 160 yards is, you know. Oh, yeah. That's, we're keeping it close to the line of screen. I would say their biggest threat in the passing game today was probably Ashton Jentee.

Ashty, that would be the biggest thing. Yeah. This was Ashton Jentee's probably best game as a pro. I mean, he was everywhere. That was good to see. Michael Mayers was pretty good. I don't know why I added an S there. Michael Mayer was good.

Their defense looked good. The Raiders, I mean, hey, They did win week one last year, but the Raiders, they did win one last year. They played the Patriots. Similar to memes and the Jets, this felt like a measuring stick game of the levels to maybe being bad. They raised the level where it's like we're not the worst. Last year they were the worst. They are no longer the worst.

Definitely not the worst. That's big. Nobody bails on a throw like Kirk Cousins, though. There were a couple of those where he was about to get hit, and he's like, he's got his head turned and his shoulder turned as he's still somehow driving the ball down field. I'm going to miss that when it's gone. So I hope that he gets at least a couple more games. Do you want to try to figure out play a game when will the dolphins win their first game?

I would love to play that game. Okay. Let's look. This is going to be fun. Because they play. Ooh, ooh, ooh, let's add a wrinkle to it. Okay. Who will win a game first?

Titans are dolphins. I'll do Titans. We'll go, we'll go beat by. By bar, schedule for bar, schedule? Yeah, this would be fun. Okay. And we're not overreacting. These teams do suck.

But they might lose every game. Yeah. At the Niners. This is week two. Week two for the Dolphins. I think that's going to be a loss. The Titans are playing the Philadelphia Fall of the Eagles. That will be a loss.

That will be a loss. Okay. Although the Niners, they spent a long time in Australia. It's true. Doesn't matter. It's a test. Okay. Who do the Dolphins have week three?

That's a little bit insulting. Isn't it that, you know, the NFL tried to give the Niners a little bit of a break for agreeing to go overseas and play in Australia, and their break is you have to play a Sunday game, but it's against the Dolphins. Yeah. The Chiefs, Week three. Week three, the Dolphins play the Chiefs. Where?

In Miami? Miami. It's going to be hot. It is. I'm going to say that's not a win for the Dolphins. The Titans are playing at the New York Giants, who we just watched win Sunday football. I'm going to say that's not a win either. I think the Giants might be good.

Yes, yes. Okay, we're at week. So no wins so far, at the Vikings. No. Win. You think that's it? You think that Carson wins? Brian.

Or Kyler. Brian Flores. Wentzel Soda. Brian Flores blitzing the fuck out of Malik Willis is going to be a... Well, they're going to win eventually. How did he do against the Vikings in the last couple years? I don't know if he played in those games. But he didn't play in those games, I don't think.

I don't think he played in those games last year because he played early, played late last year. I don't have a memory of it. But yeah, I don't have a memory of it. I have a memory of J.J. McCarthy playing against the Packers last year. He did not play against the Vikings, and he did not play against the Vikings. Okay, so we haven't seen it.

Don't know. Okay. So that's week four. You're saying that's a win. Okay. Week four for the Titans, they play at Baltimore. That's a loss. That's a loss, too, yeah.

Yeah. Week five? Week 5 for the Miami Dolphins is going to be against the Bengals at home. That is a loss. I agree. Week 5 for the Titans is going to be at home against the Houston Texans. That is a loss. Yeah.

Yeah, that's a loss. Memes is saying, I don't know. Speak memes. You never know. Division games. Play it tight. Okay. The next week for the Dolphins is going to be at the Jets.

Oh. I'm not going to say it. It's at the dolphins? No, at the Jets. Oh, that's a win. That's a win for the Jets. In Miami, different. In Miami could be different, yeah.

I'm looking right now, the Titans, I think, so week six, they play at the Colts. Week 7, they play at home against the Browns. I think the Titans are going to get their first win before November. Can you find one for the Dolphins? I got the Dolphins winning the next week, the first day of November. Okay. And this is not, like, a lot of people are going to be like, oh, PFT, likes to make fun of the Patriots, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Hank will tell you, the Dolphins always beat the Patriots home. It's true. In Miami. It's true. So there it is. So November 1st is what I'm saying for the Dolphins first win. I think we should maybe see if we can get this as a bet who wins a game first. Again, we're not overreacting.

I think both these teams are bad. Yeah. I think Dolphins fans would tell you that. They'll say, yeah, we're intentionally trying to be bad this year. This is what should replace the Pro Bowl. It should be the Dolphins against the, Titans. Best to seven.

And, yeah, best. I don't know if America can handle that. But winner gets first a whole. Whoa, whoa. You would take that game in, eight weeks ago. You would take a four-yard loss. Don't take me out to the balcony. Yes.

By the way, shout out our guy, Jake, two scoreramis today. I think the Packers and Vikings and the Bears and Panthers. That's wild. Huge. Double trouble. I would say wild. Okay. Anything else from this game?

Good for the Raiders. Good for the Raiders. the Raiders. Good for the Raiders. I think the Raiders are in that frisky territory, especially when, like, if Max Crosby can win a game early and be like, hey, this doesn't absolutely suck dick playing for this team. And that is, again, I didn't mean to disparage Kirk Cousins because it's father time's undefeated. It's like he's just not exactly the same as he used to be. You can say the same thing for Aaron Rogers. Kirk Cousins does make them way more of a, you real football team than they have been in the past a few years.

Like he he raises the floor of both professionalism and he started the game nine for nine. Like he can move the ball. I just don't know if he has to play against a really good defense if it's going to look great. I don't. It's it's Kirk Cousins, but it's also they address the offensive line a little bit. The system that they're in now is much, much friendlier to protecting the quarterback and not getting him absolutely destroyed. Yeah. So yeah, it is the Raiders today, and it might be because they played against the Dolphins,

but today the Raiders were absolutely a watchable football team. Yes. And I think it's more like you're going to want to see if the Raiders, if the parts around the Raiders are decent, you're going to want to see Fernando Mendoza soon. Like you don't draft the guy first overall and have him sit all year. See what it looks like. But Kirk Cousins, good game. Good win.

Ashton Jinty, good game, even though he got destroyed. Yes. On one play. Okay. Next up, Vikings 39. Packers 22. This was quite the game because we had the Packers outgained the Vikings 419 to 239. They were up 22 to 10 with three minutes left in the third quarter. And then they allowed 29 consecutive points.

And man, was it a shame to see the Packers come completely unhinged and lose their six straight game. six straight game. I think they haven't lost six straight in a very, very long time as a franchise. And they're losing big, they're getting big leads and then blowing them in the second half consistently now. They are doing it basically

the same exact way that they lost the Broncos game, the Bears game in the playoffs. The Packers have lost six straight dating back to last season including the playoffs, their longest losing streak since 1990 and 91. They led by more than one score.

so nine plus points in the second half of four of those losses, week 15 at Denver, week 16 in Chicago, the wild card game of Chicago, and today. Yeah. That's crazy. It's weird. I don't know what Lefleur is doing. Some would say that the turning point might have been when he took points off the board.

Do you agree that you never take points off the board? I think in this situation. So the situation was this. It was the Packers were up five. It was fourth and five at Minnesota 17. and they kicked the field goal good, off sides on the Vikings. It was fourth and six.

It becomes fourth and one. They then go for it, gets stuffed. So instead of an eight-point game, it's back to a five-point game. Now, I don't like the Packers. I was happy to watch them completely come unglued at the seams, and it was fun to watch. And they clearly have a mentality problem that has kind of seeped into

there where they just can't close games. I will say that that roughing the passer was bullshit. That was a very significant part of the game. So after they took points off the board, Carson Wentz, it was a third and three, pretty routine hit on the quarterback in an incompletion. They called that roughing the passer. The Vikings then go on to score a touchdown. And then the Packers, the Packers don't have the, didn't have the mental fortitude

to overcome this moment. but that was a shitty moment. Like that was a bad call in my mind. Even Little Wayne said, refs in Minnesota game pure pussy. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, it is. I mean, look at it.

That was not... The thing is, like, when Carson Winsk gets hit, he is going to act like he got roughed every single time. Correct. Like, you see him get hit and you're like, oh, my God, is he okay? Yeah. That is bullshit.

But again, by the letter of the law, that's the right call, the law just sucks. Yeah, no, and I just... That was a significant play in the game where the Vikings, again, I think that is partially like the Packers, when one thing goes bad for them, it kind of spirals because then it really did spiral where Jordan Love fumbled and there's interception and Brian Flores was just in his bag. He blitzed 78% of the dropbacks. He had Jordan Love in hell and it looked like the Packers. They should have won this game. They were in control of this game.

they didn't make adjustments. The Packers' offensive line looked like they were completely lost, and Jordan Love was trying to play hero ball. Dallas Turner was an absolute menace, just a force in this game. And it ends up that the Packers lot, like, if you told Packers fans, hey, Carson Wentz is going to come into this game, and you're going to lose by, you're going to outgain him almost double, and then you're going to end up losing by 17, they'd be like, we can't believe you.

Yeah, if you look at the team stats for this game, it's actually shocking. that the Packers lost. So the Vikings had 239 total yards. The Packers had 419 total yards. And not only did the Vikings win, but they won by 17 points. It's kind of crazy. Now, people are like,

oh, you never take points off the board. I think people say that because it sounds cool and it's an easy rule to remember. I don't hate the idea. I don't hate the decision that they made. To go for it? Yeah, to go for it. I can't.

We give Matt LaFlefflor enough guff. about not stepping on throats and and and that has been a problem that you can't then it would be hypocritical of us to be like dude how do you do that i agree with you sometimes you take points off the board if they score a touchdown on that drive the game's probably over yeah how many times have you played blackjack and you you hit on a hand and then the next hand you're like well i'm feeling pretty good right now i'll double yeah i'll double my bed like the process i don't think was bad by the floor but when it when it doesn't work it bites you in the ass and then when you have a history the last six games of getting bitten repeatedly in your ass,

then people are going to be like, hey, why did you tempt fate to get bitten the ass again? It's a very, it's a very meatball thing to say, but it does feel like the Packers, like, lack that mental toughness. And maybe the answer is that when Michael Parsons comes back, you get a closer who can, can end these games. Gruden talks about it all the time. But it does feel like these games get away from them

with just one bad thing happens, and then next thing you know, it's an avalanche. Yeah. Kyleor Murray knocked out with a little concussion. I mean little like I didn't mean that because he's short. He looks really little. He did look small. We knew that was going to happen in the Vikings purple.

But when he was like scrambling, I just kept on saying, wee. Yeah. He looked adorable. Yeah. Now, again, don't want a victim blame here. Kyler kind of put his head there. That sounds like a lot of victim blaming. Well, when you slide, you put your, if somebody's trying, like starting a tackle, if they're, if they're, if they're, if they're,

getting the form tackle and then you slide and your head ends up at their pad level it sucks i don't think it was a malicious hit i don't think it was like football is a violent sport and there were there were two guys that were trying to tackle them when you put your head down at that level you kind of sometimes invite contact and it was bad contact because it was like one guy took the helmet off and then the other guy hit him yeah but it was it was super unfortunate i hope that he's okay. Can you go back up to the hit max instead of showing some guy jump off his balcony? I got distracted.

I got so distracted. I mean, I was crazy video. I mean, I looked at Kyler Murray. Yeah, I want to watch it again while PFT's describing us. I'm making...

Yeah. So both the guys start going in as Kyler is still running. It wasn't as much as the... That way. What do you guys? What do you think in the booth? He did kind of... I mean...

The angle where you're seeing that we just showed, that one is, that one's a bad angle. I'll say this. In terms of, like, hits the head, I did not think that that was the most egregious guy headhunting hit. No. Possible. RICO Bosco, victim blamed for another reason. Why? In the cave today.

Why? He said that players in the NFL don't tight, their helmets aren't tight enough. I agree. That's true. It's a great thing. He was like, four years. college football never once had my helmet pop off. You did say that, yeah.

That's right. And he's right. There's no way to check him on that. No way. He would not lie about it. So yeah, Kyler Murray, I would assume he's going to be back in a couple weeks. Carson once, it wasn't, it wasn't like he had to, he had a couple short fields, but he made Justin Jefferson.

Do you know that? That was the first touchdown of 20 plus air yards since 20-24 for Justin Jefferson. So last year, he just. I mean, he was in hell. I did know that today Justin Jefferson had two touchdowns. He had two touchdowns all of last year. Yeah. Yeah.

So I think that was probably fun for Justin Jefferson. He looked like he was having a blast. It was a shocking game because it really was. It was the first time in NFL history, a team was down by 12 plus points with under 20 minutes left in regulation and ended up winning by 17 plus points. Yeah. The swing was nuts. And it just, it was just an avalanche that just. kept on going against the Packers.

Again, love to see it. But yeah, if you're a Packer fan, you're like, what was this? This is exactly how we ended the season. Why hasn't anything changed? Yeah, it's like a ghost that keeps falling you around. And why does this keep happening to us? Like, you weren't, this was not a routine thing for the Packers until very, very recently. So what's going on?

Yeah. There is a new Superfan that I was not aware of that I spotted today at this game. Okay. A Viking Superfan, he's got one of those, you know, the giant horns that you blow. Okay. But I think he also drinks beer out of it. Okay.

Kind of like guy stuff, you know, like it's a horn, but also chug. Mm-hmm. His name is Sir Death. Have you heard of Sir Death before? No. I mean, this guy looks fucking awesome. I feel like this is a guy. He's somehow slipped between the cracks for us.

Vikings Sir Death. Oh, this guy rocks. See, look at this guy. Wow, that's a lot of tattoos on his body. A little, uh, a little Vikings, uh, Game of Thrones. kind of pirates of the Caribbean slash also Slipknot Yeah I'm into Sir Death

Like this is a guy that If we're talking just like Battle Royale with all super fans This guy would probably kill most other super fans Yeah Sir Death Yeah I hope he doesn't talk

I don't want to see Sir Death talk Do you know what I mean? Look at a giant dragon tattoo he's got on his belly Sir Death what a badass I have to he said I have to laugh when these people say All that for all that for a team with no Super Bowl to me like it's an insult.

The only reason you cheer for a team is because they've won a Super Bowl in the past. It means you wouldn't have been a fan if they lost. That is the definition of a bandwagon fan. Yeah, all this for a team with no Super Bowl because the Viking fan base is better than yours. Okay. Okay, Sir Death. I like, yeah. Amen, Sir Death. Damn.

Sir Death. This dude is, he will fuck you up. They should have they should let Sir Death get a couple reps in. If you have like a 15 point lead in the fourth quarter, let Sir Death rush the passer. Yeah. Not to overreact. Memes.

I think you could end the Packer season. Wait, wait. Here's the bio for Sir Death. Max just highlighted. I like sunsets, long walks on the beach, and drinking from the skulls of my enemies. Just kidding. Fuck sunsets and beaches.

Oh, he had us in the first half. Yep. I thought he was going to enjoy like, you know, holding hands, cuddling, puppies. I thought I was to say, just kidding, I don't drink, you know, from the skulls of my enemies.

Nope. He took out the, the sunsets and beaches. Mm-hmm. Woo. Yeah, memes. I agree with you. Do it.

Just got to let him get a lead. Do it. And if you blow a lead against a Jets, you should quit. This might be worse, worse loss of Sunday. Bias, but, yeah, because it's... Maybe the Browns... But it's kind of... But you knew the Browns would suck.

Like, it's kind of like I was talking about when we started the show talking about the Texans, that if the Texans had had a game where they held the bills to 14 points. And C.J. Stroud looked like shit. You would have said to yourself, man, this hasn't changed. The Packers lost the same way they lost their last five games of last season

when they had like a historic collapse. This is second worst loss of the week. You're going to say Chargers and I agree. Yeah. All right. Let's do that game. Cardinals 26, Chargers 14. Inexcusable for the Chargers. And that's no offense to the Cardinals, but they looked bad, real bad.

And it wasn't all Justin Herbert. He didn't look great. Their defense got diced up by Jacoby Brissette. It felt like guys were open all day for the Cardinals. Not only Jacobi Brissette's arm, but his legs, too. Like he was scrambling. Yeah. Great holdout by him.

Yeah. Worth every penny. It's the first full-time Cardinals head coach to win their first game coaching since 1973. I saw that. Shout out Michael Floor. It was incredible win. Don Coriel. Yeah.

It was the last Cardinals head coach to win their debut. The Chargers, though, they were so. There was penalties. They kept on getting backed up. They averaged, on third downs today, they average 12.4 yards to go. That's so hard to do to average that. Yeah.

That's so, so hard to do. They looked like shit, man. I almost think that Jacoby Brisset should hold out again now. Yeah? Like, is Jacoby Brissette the most underpaid quarterback in football? It's a good question. All right, so I reached out to Shane because Shane, got...

Oh, where's Shane? He got blue dot fever, is what the kids are calling it. Oh. By the way. He's homesick, but he actually, he called in sick before the game. Maybe his body just knew. Okay, yeah. But I asked him for comment on the Chargers,

and he said he has too many comments on the Chargers. It's the dumbest he's ever seen the team. Platooning our left guard to swap every other drive for the backup to get blown up every time. False Star holding false star. calling a timeout with two left with four minutes left to not get delay of game on third and 30. Dumbass Herbert pick to guy in double coverage the size of PF. That's the go what you're talking about.

Herbo threw a meatball. Dumbass, I'm going to read the sentence again. Wait, does he think it's false star? He might think it's false star. Dumbass Herbert picked false star. It's great. Dumbass Herbert picked a guy in double coverage, the size of PFT, no offense. I just felt like you didn't have to include that part

Big stupid pick guy Big stupid pick guy He is a stupid pick guy You're right Max Never wrong just early Needed to win with the schedule they have The third hardest in the last decade Defense was staley level bad

Sorry for so many messages That's all Yeah I mean he's right This was a As much of a must win as you could have Given the Chargers schedule Like we did that bet Where we took all of our teams

over wins. The Chargers just lost that bet for us. Yep. They have such a hard schedule coming up. They go, they have the Raiders next week. Then they play the Bills, Seahawks, Broncos, Chiefs, Rams, Texans, Ravens.

Shush. Yikes. I just listed like... Can we pull up the hardball club talking about Herbert? Oh, this is mean. This was... Saying he was the best quarterback for all time. The dumbest?

the dumbest, like Harbar is a smart guy. This was the dumbest thing you could ever say right before season. Yeah. No, I don't think so. He loves this guy. He's trying to gas him up. He loves his guy. He's trying to tell him, like, I believe in you.

Yeah. If you believe... You could say that to him privately. He's saying, I believe in this guy, and it's my fault if he doesn't succeed. Yeah, he said, I... All right, go ahead. Like, Dave Bruce pointing over the... The bat over the center field.

Justin Herbert, when it's all said and done, when his career comes to end, I predict he will be known as the greatest, best ever to play the position of quarterback. Okay, so it's a little bit crazy to say that, yes, but Harbaugh is a little bit of a crazy guy. And in his defense, he was being interviewed by Michael Irvin. And if you're talking to Michael Irvin, you kind of have to match as crazy sometimes. You get carried away. How old is Justin Hurwold? Robert.

27? The thing is, like, he's at the age where if he doesn't start winning... He's never won a playoff game. And winning big... 26. It's almost impossible for him to be the best ever. Oh, he's 28? 28.

28. Oh, no. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like, no, I... The ship might have sailed already on being the best owner. Yeah. Yes. I think it's impossible.

Brady and Mahomes both had rings when they were, what, 24, 25? Yeah. Multiple. I'm not saying that Herbert's not going to be a very good, I haven't as my MVP this year. I feel really dumb with that pick right now. Yeah, he was bad. But I don't think it's pop. You know what?

I'm just going to let Harbaugh cook. Let Harbaugh cook, and we'll just see where we end up. And Mahomes is 30 right now, so he must have, so he had. one ring, what year was that, 2018? So he had a ring when he was like 23 years old. Yeah. And another. Brady was 24.

Yeah. So, yeah, I think he's in trouble. Madison Beer is very attractive. Can we just all admit that? Yeah. I wish the Chargers had done better so they would have showed her more. Yes. Her outfit, great week one outfit.

And we're a fashion podcast, so it's not, this is not us. the glasses great glasses i like the really good eyewear i like the string on her shirt like what kind of lace is that on our shirt i think a really high quality well-designed string

can we zoom in on the string you're right hank Justin herbert he Justin herbert should apologize to us yeah she should he should no he should sorry damn it's a great string

uh She's very attractive I think that they should show her more even if they're losing. I want to see I would like to see her reaction after he throws a pick. Maybe she should wear a split jersey with whatever team they're playing.

So it's like, hey, she's just rooting for football. She wears the NFL hat. Now Max is on her Instagram. It's pretty horny stuff, Max. She's scrolling through her Instagram. I mean, we're talking about her. I thought maybe you would... No, we see, we know what she looks like.

We saw her. We're talking about the game and the broadcast. Dude. You're talking about the fucking the string. The string was nice. The string. I'm a fashion guy. We're fashion guys.

We open up this door here. It is a door. What about punishment? Punishment for picks. You have to wear that string shirt for the entire week of Super Bowl. You look ridiculous. So you fit right in LA. Oh.

Spicy take. I mean, Jerry O'Connell. Like, Jerry O'Connell would wear that. Probably has that shirt. Go off, Hank. Go off. Yeah, this is a really bad loss. Good win for the Cardinals.

Cardinals were supposed to be... Did they have the lowest win total? Like, they were supposed to be really, really bad. They looked good. They were tied for lowest win total, and, yeah, they didn't look bad at all today. They moved the ball. They played, they turned the ball over. Like, they had a couple turnover.

I know they turned them over in the first half. I think there was a fumble, and then the pick. and then I think they blocked a punt. So all three phases. Ladd-McConkie got a rib shot. I think he might have been, I don't know if he was taking the hospital or he was taken for x-rays.

That sucked, but he got jacked up on that play. Yep. There was. Trey McBride's still a beast. Trey McBride is just incredible, just catches everything. There's also a new guy that I've never seen on the Cardinal sideline before,

probably because it's a new administration down there, new regime. in Arizona. Do you see the dude rocking the pinstripe suit on the sidelines today? No. I got to know what this guy was doing. Okay. Because the Cardinals might have their big dom. That's what it looked like to me.

I need to see a picture. So, Max, can you look that up? I need to see a picture. Oh, here are the tweets from Shane during the game. He said, what is this defense? Holy shit. I've never seen anything like this in my life. That's not true.

Pathetic, couldn't afford to lose this one. So many false stars. So many false. Did you say that? No, but I, I, I, I am going to just... Shane is a weird enough guy that he would definitely think it's false star.

Not false star. I mean, he said it several times to me. False star. False star. I don't know how to find this. Worst loss. Worst loss of the week. I think it is. Given their schedule, upcoming,

everything that's going on, Mike and Daniel being, you know, the offensive coordinator, relatively healthy going into the season. Because the Chargers always are graded on a curve in terms of health. and then you're going up against a team that is not tanking, but we all know they're not trying to be a really good,

they're basically doing a bridge quarterback, Jacobi reset. Mike LaFleurre's first game as a head coach, you got to win that game at home. You got to win that game every single time. And they, it wasn't a, it wasn't, it was like a no-douder. Like they won by double digits. On that, I think it was the last drive,

the one that started at about 233 left in the fourth quarter. order. It looked like the charges were trying to get Justin Herbert killed. They just, and they kept going, yeah, they kept going backwards. The blocking was just, it was unreal. Oh, Shane said he's slide text. What is that? What does slide? Did it like, T9?

He, oh, he doesn't type? He doesn't lift his finger. He. Yeah, he grew up upstate, so he'd never. You know what was that look, Hank? He just gave it look like gross. He doesn't lift his feet. Like he does T9 word for an iPhone?

What is that mean? He just goes like this. He's got to have the messy. He's got to have the grease. Ew. Yeah. Mine would just be buffalo sauce all over my phone. So he just doesn't use the T?

Yeah, but he used the first T. He just doesn't go back to the T. Yeah, stop him from finishing. I don't know. I don't know what's slide texting. I've literally never heard of anyone doing that, which is very on brand for Shane. Yeah.

That's also just an. insane thing to say, oh, I slide text, so I just don't spell the full words. Now it's your problem. Yeah, what? Especially with his greasy eye. The thumb is just covered in onion juice. So if he texted us, what time you want to start? And he just says, what time you want to star?

And he's like, yeah, sorry, dude, I slide text. Deal with it. What if he? Yeah, that's so weird. Yeah, the chargers average 12.4 yards to go on. on third down. I saw someone on Twitter say, yeah, yeah. Talking about, uh, on, on Wednesday night when the, when the Patriots were playing

and Drake May was not playing great. He said if Justin Herbert played like Drake May tonight, he'd be beheaded on live TV. Mm-hmm. That's true. They would do that. Mm-hmm. They would have absolutely. And then he played worse against a much worse team.

Well, fourth quarter, Drake May played worse than Justin Herbert today. Fair. True. The first three quarters, I would take Drake May over Justin. Should Justin Herbert be be. on live TV. No, because then that's less beer. I would say, no, it would be a lot of beer.

It would be no more head, but it would be a lot of beer in the moment. No, but like that post post, post, post death beer are the best beers or the worst beers. Worst beers. We need more beer. More beer. More beer. All the time. Yeah. Oh, he said, as Shane said, it guesses what you type.

This guy is crazy. It guesses what you typing By where finger slides And confused start with star So this doesn't even This isn't a good text Why doesn't he just text? It guesses what you typing

By where finger slides And confused start with star It guesses what you typing You know what? You know what? Kevin from the office I blame Shane for a lot of this Like

This is this is the mentality We found the weirdest guy in the world A average chargers fan Great A Great A. This franchise has no hope. Yeah. Again, the fact that he said this is the worst I've ever seen.

I think it's just everyone's so scared. Listen, Chargers fans, Shane, if you're listening, you are right now. You'll win a couple of the games you thought you were going to lose. That's what the NFL is. It seems dire, but that will always happen. There'll be a game. I mean, look, you might be playing Drew Locke. You thought you were going to play Sam Darry?

Arnold. Shit happens. That is true. So the Chargers, they got, well, they get the Raiders. Right? And then at the Bills. Yeah. At the Seahawks.

You got, you have to win next week. Shane. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you gotta win next week. You got to win. Non-negoti. You got a non-negoti. Okay.

Last game. Eagles 24, commanders, 22. Boys. Yep. I let you guys go wherever you want to go with it. Oh, all you're pointing back and forth to each other. Would you like me to go? I'd defer.

Would you like the good or the bad for me? Do you both. I'll start with the bad. Offensive line. Eagles all of a sudden, Eagles automatically having the best offensive line in the league no longer in the case. Jeff Stelman was terrible today. Landon Dickerson was terrible, like one of the worst linemen in the NFL today,

which is a real big problem if that's what we're going to be having going forward. And then my other, just off of the eyeball test, I didn't think Cooper DeGine played a very good game defensively. But in the whole, I think the defense played pretty well. The defensive line was getting good pressure. Jaden is a tough guy to sack. But I think they got enough pressure to make him uncomfortable. And I thought Jalen Hertz was fantastic.

I thought Jalen Hertz played a very good game, especially with all of the criticism that he's had in the offseason, all of the drama with A.J. Brown, Mackay Lemon, one of the craziest debut stat lines of all time. Three catches for negative five yards to start his career. Nice. Don Tavian Wicks was very good.

Dallas Goddard was fantastic. Not the cleanest game, but we'll take a win. A win's a win. Hank, what was your thought? You just kind of said, you just shrugged your shoulders and you're like, what the hell? I'm trying to slide right now in the group shot. I felt like. You're trying to slide that.

He's trying to slide. I felt like Jailen Hertz was more decisive with his running too today. Yeah. I mean, that 1318 was massive. He was a problem running football. The offensive line was, yeah, concerning. Oh, yeah. But I do think that some of that was because there were guys coming.

And I was right about the guys coming. Oh, they were coming. Durante Jones is officially confirmed as I'm going to have guys coming guy. Like he is from the Brian Floress tree. The commander's defense went from unwatchable last year, like one of the worst in NFL history, to I think we might be average or maybe even like a little bit better than average overall because of how creative he gets with the blitzes.

Well, I'm only like the film, like the Eagles film guys said that they had already watched the film and like Landon Dickerson is like on. playable if that's how he's going to play. But I agree there were other moments of the game where the blitzes were a problem. Yeah. I have my blame, my blame chart for the commanders. Because I don't think, big picture, I don't think the sky's falling. I really wanted to win this game. Be awesome to go on the road in Philadelphia, Philadelphia and walk away with a win week one. That would have been great. But overall, I think there's some bad. There's some bad. There's some good to take away. My number one blame goes to, honestly, it pains me, Mike Sanders still.

They were hunting Mikey today. Yeah, that's been a theme. That first touchdown was a tough look. There were a couple plays, and I think he still can be a really good player, but they were absolutely hunting Mikey today. And that was tough to see. He got turned around a couple times, looked really bad there. Two of the biggest plays of the game, I think were largely his responsibility. that throw to Wix for a touchdown. And then that deep bomb. Was that also to Wix? The bomb to Wix where he just...

Both of them were Wix. His controller got unplugged twice today, and they both ended up in chunk plays that pretty much won the game for the Eagles. Dan Quinn, second most blame. I don't know what we're doing timeouts. I don't think Dan Quinn understands how to use timeouts correctly.

It's complicated. It is... You only get three, and you get three in each half, and they don't carry over. What if you get a challenge right? But then if you get a challenge right, You get an extra timeout? No.

You get four? Well, you don't burn a timeout. Got it. You lose a challenge, you burn one. And I don't know if this is... The backwards snapback hat today on Dan Quay... It looked like his brain was trying to burst through his forehead because he couldn't figure out how timeouts work.

Really dumb stuff by Dan Quinn. I do think the hat would piss me off when you lose games. Yeah, hat pisses me off in a loss. Yeah. It does. Thirdmost blame kicker. Jalen quarter. blocked an extra point and then missed a 56-yard field goal between the two of those plays

ended up being very, very consequential to the final score of the game. And then the play call on the two-point conversion from Blau. I don't think Blow had a terrible game. I don't think he had a great game, but that was a doy-doy call running the shovel pass to her back up tight end, which actually it might have worked if Aligretti or center had held his block, but he got manhandled. So it didn't work. it was a dumb play.

And no blame to Diggs, by the way. No blame to Diggs. Caught a touchdown. I know ideally in that place, you're thinking we're going to go for two. In fact, I think it was the first team since 2000 that had kicked an extra point down to in the final 10 minutes of regulation.

And it's because Diggs caught the touchdown and then went sailing balls first into the upright. When you signed Stefan Diggs, this is the bargain that you make. If the deal is going to be, he catches a touchdown, and in the process of catching a touchdown, he commits a 15-yard on sportsman-like penalty. That's, yes, that's exactly what you think you're going to get.

Also, I don't know if you saw this, Hank, but it was on third and six, so he's just super excited that he actually got the ball in his hands on that play. So no blame. That's, that's Diggs. That's what Diggs is going to do. It sucks. Get costly penalties. It sucks.

In crucial moments of the game. I can't invite Diggs. into my home and then be like, hey, why did you rub your dick on the upright? Like, that's what he's going to do. It's the first line on his resume that he's going to do something like this. Am I wrong? No, I don't think so. I wouldn't say no blame. I would say he deserves blame, for sure. Well, yeah. Like, it's true that you know what you're getting with him, but you also, like, he deserves blame for you guys losing the game. But if, I don't know how I can blame Diggs and then, like, we're the ones that brought him in. If anything, Adam Peters,

signed him, but he was a great, I think he was a great player today for us. I think he helped us almost win the game. Bill looked good for the most part. Well, I mean, he did, he did enough. We did enough. You guys, yeah, you guys tried. We could have won. You tried hard.

Can I ask a rowback question? That's all you can ask for. Roback question, R-H-B-A-C-com promo code take, 20% off your first purchase, Q-Zips, Polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, roeback.com, promo code take. Is there any blame to Jaden and all. Also, I came down late in the fourth because I was getting ready for the show. There seemed to be some tension in the cave. You were, people were throwing accusations at you that you were celebrating the simplest

Jaden passes as incredible. Yep. That's fast. I didn't see it. That's Max and Hank were saying that. We got biased audience because Hank put together a hater parlay. Thoughts and prayers, Hank, your hater parley did not win. Did not even come close to winning?

It did win pretty much. No, it didn't. Because I took the opposite of Hank's Hater Parlay and I won. Oh. I took a pro-Jaden parlay that directly countered it. No, you didn't. That's impossible. I had 18 plus completions for Jaden.

I had, I believe, two touchdowns. That wasn't part of mine. Which he got. And then I had commanders to cover the spread. That's not the opposite of mine. That's fine. What was yours? Congrats for years.

It was under 18 and a half, under 200 yards, and the Eagles. and an interception. Okay. So you were very close. Pretty much, yeah. I mean, I fought, like, that's kind of what you get, you know. Like, yeah, yeah. I fought hard.

For three quarters of this game, Jane Daniels was terrible. So here's the thing is, I don't think he was. He was terrible. I don't think he was terrible. He was terrible. He was also 18 and a half. You had 18 and a half. I had 18 plus receptions.

Got it. Max, I don't think he was terrible. I've been thinking about this. He didn't play good. He definitely didn't play good. But it was clear what the Eagles were doing. with their secondary, and Jaden needed to take off early instead of, like, dodging around in the pocket and then throwing the ball away. I don't know how many throwaways he had out of bounds,

but it was a shitload of him. At that point, he has to be more decisive and run at that spot. But he wasn't throwing the ball well. He was missing lots of throws. He missed a few throws, but I think a lot of the incompletions were clearly on out of bounds intentional throwaways. I don't know if we were watching this. He was bad. In the fourth quarter, he was good. I wouldn't say, the fourth quarter he was good. I wouldn't say bad.

But when he threw, when it was like third and 15 or second and 15, and he makes a throw for a first down, I'm going to say good throw. And then Max had a real problem with that. It would be like, wow, great throw. And it's like a wide open receipt. Great play and great throw are two different things. An expected throw for every quarterback in the NFL for a wide open receiver is not a, wow, great throw on.

every single completion that he had. And it was because he was playing poorly, so you were trying to convince yourself being like, oh, he's back, that's a great throw. That's a great throw. Which is fine. It's a good coping mechanism for a fan in the NFL for a quarterback who's playing poorly. I've done that when Jalen Hertz is playing poorly.

Today he did not play poorly. I was just excited for a first down. But you're reading... Great throw and great play are two different things. You're reading way too much into the language policing here, Max. Hank, were you... I was just excited. Yeah, it was like a checkdown, and PFTU was like, oh, great throw.

I will say it. Like, bias aside, after this conversation happened, Jane Daniels actually, like, had. He almost brought him back to really good. No, I said that. He was doing some fourth quarter, he was good. Great stuff at the end of the game. The beginning it did feel like he was indecisive with the ball. Yeah.

And he was. I think he's been told, don't put yourself in danger. don't run with the football. So he would get away from the initial pass rush, and then he would stay behind the line of scrimmage, and then nothing would pop up, and he'd throw the ball away because it's too late to run. In those cases, like Jay...

And he did that a little bit in the second half, and he had an awesome run against this Eagles defense. And he was more decisive about running with the football, and then everything kind of became easier. But he was staying way too long in the backfield with the ball in his hands, and then just running out of time, and then, okay, I'm just going to airmail one 20 yards out of bounds. I thought that, again, the defense, I thought, was better than expected.

Sunny Stiles is awesome. Sunday Stiles had a great debut. He was all over the field. What other fights did you guys have? Any other, any other? I think that was just mad because I said great throw. Yeah. On a completion for 15 yards in a first down, and it wasn't as good to throw as Max.

So pretty much, no like little boy ass play or anything like that? No, it was pretty tame, yeah. It's pretty cordial. I mean, I think Jalen Hurts had a great game. I agree with that. And I would never say anything positive about Jalen Hertz on these airwaves. Never have, never will. But he was very decisive.

The run that he had on third. The game pretty much swung on a couple plays. One was the long touchdown to Goddard. I believe that was third down as well. But then the run that Jalen Hertz had, it was third and long. It was just at that point, like that swung the entire game's momentum. And we should also say Jalen Carter is just the best at blocking kicks.

Yes. It's so good. I mean, that was that that could have been, you know, you don't have to go for two if he doesn't block that extra point. Yep, yep. Also, Tyler Owens had one of the best plays that I've ever seen on special teams. Oh, yeah, that was sick. He was double teamed off the bat as a gunner, and then he stiff arms one guy into the ground, and then stiff arms another guy into the ground, and then delivers a spine buster tackle at the end.

It was awesome. Yeah. Also, this guy, Tyler Owens, athletic freak, I think he was undrafted, but he was one of the most athletic safeties at the combine. He doesn't believe that space is real. He thinks space is fake. Space is hard to put your head around. It doesn't make a lot of sense. It doesn't.

I think as a defensive back, not believing that space exists is actually a good mindset to have. Like no daylight in between me and you. Close the space. I don't hate that strategy of him being like, I don't want to think too hard about something because it kind of hurts my brain,

so I'm just going to think that it doesn't exist. Right. I'm a thing on that. Space does... Because if you think too hard about space, it fucking sucks. It... It fucked me up the other day. I watched one of those videos with my kids where it was like,

this is the Earth, then this is the sun, then this is the next biggest star. And then it just keeps going, keeps going, and keeps going until their galaxies and it's all this stuff. And they were just cheering every time it got bigger. And I was like, stop cheering. Like, this is fucked up. And when they're like, this is the size of the Earth.

But here's this Earth compared to... the size of the sun. Yeah, no, I don't want to think about that. No, yeah, it kept on going. And then it's just like, and then this is the galaxy. And then this is the small galaxy. This is the big galaxy. This is the black star.

This is the giant black star. They're like, yeah, yeah. Stop. This is fucked up. So I'm with this guy. I did say that I was going to base my entire theory on how the season would go on the first drive that the commanders had. And I have my answer.

We got a fuel goal. It was not like a super impressive drive. That's nine and eight. Commanders will be 9 and 8 this year based on that drive. 9 and 8. I think the Eagles are a very, very good team. I think that this was not the worst showing that you possibly could have against a good team. But in order to be a good team, you have to win these kind of games. And we had every opportunity to win despite the fact that we didn't play well.

And yet, Jane didn't play great in the first half. I would say I would give him a D in the first half. And then I would give him a B plus in the fourth quarter. But I'm good with both of those games. Are you okay with those grades? I'm good with both of those grades. What about if he says good throw? Good throw is fine.

Oh, and no aside. And where it makes sense. Great throw. Sorry, great throw. What if he says great throw? It's got to be a good throw. It's got to be like a tight window or... So then I just started like not acknowledging anything good.

I'd just be like average touchdown. That's what you're supposed to do. Great job. There was routine throws. Routine touchdown. Routine possible game-winning drive. Every play is hard in the possible game-winning drive. But, like, that's what you know.

That's what you want. Yeah. Must win next week? I wouldn't say that's what we want, Hank. No, that's when you, yeah, like Stefan Diggs, like, you said, I'll take that all day. I can't be mad at him. Yeah, right. Why won't you be?

He caused you the game, but like, fuck it. We did. We brought him in. Exactly. No, so I agree. Like, I totally agree. You ever hear about the scorpion and the frog? Yeah.

Yeah. The scorpion stings. he's like, what do you expect? I'm a scorpion. Of course. Stefan Diggs is going to score touchdowns and then he's going to put his dick on shit. There's also didn't end up being that consequential because they still got the two point try. Yeah, they did. Like if they never got that two point try, then it would have been worse. But you'd rather do that earlier.

Yeah. But it, I don't know. Like you could have still gone for it and not gotten it and then you just wouldn't have had a chance in that last time. No, then that affects the way that you call play is moving forward. You're right. It definitely, listen, obviously I'm joking a little bit. about Diggs. I wish that he didn't do that.

That was stupid. And Jaden said it was stupid. But at the end of the day, like, okay, he caught a touchdown. Stefan Diggs is a little bit crazy. He's going to do that. That's not, prediction, that's not the last time. He's going to do something like that. What, uh, so is next week a double must win?

Because the Cowboys will get to the last game. But Cowboys, Commander's playing at Cowboys. I wish, I wish the Cowboys won today. Yeah. Max wouldn't understand that. He does not understand this. He doesn't get that part of it. It makes no sense to them.

It beats the Giants because they're going to be desperate. And we're not going to be able to catch them sleeping next week. So, yeah, must win. I said the first three games, the commanders have to get one win out of those first three games. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So that game happened to the Cowboys Giants, Giants 28, Cowboys 20.

What a win for the Giants. Feels like a, I don't want to say statement win because you can't really have a statement win in week one. But maybe it's a announcement. of a new regime. And the Giants, to me, looked tougher, more physical, more buttoned up as a football team than they have looked in a very long time. And they kind of like, like the Cowboys have all this talent.

The Giants were just the tougher team. They were just kind of bullying them. And there was a little bit of fumble luck where the ball kept on bouncing and the Giants recovered a couple of them. And Dak did his classic Dak, like, what the fuck are you doing, pick? at the end of the first half, which made no sense. But that's on DAC. That's not like the Giants shouldn't be apologizing for that.

You got to be pumped if you're a Giants fan. Yeah, you got to be very excited about it. And then also at the end of the game, did you see the four play calls in a row? Yeah. To Singletary? Yeah. Ran the same play. Yes.

And the Cowboys made zero adjustments on it. I thought the Giants, they looked more, I don't know if the word is professional. They did. They crisp. They looked crisp and physical. All the small stuff. It looks like they did everything a half second faster than they did over the last few years. They scored their first touchdown on week one in the last four years.

So that was a great start for them too. That second half, by the way, was crazy in terms of there was only five drives total. It went 12 play, 74 yards, touchdowns for the Giants. 12 play 75 yards touchdown for the Cowboys. That was the entirety of the third quarter. each team had the ball once in the third quarter fourth quarter 13 play 65 yard touchdown for the Giants

9 play 74 yard touchdown for the Cowboys and the Giants got the ball and ended the game It's crazy Giants were awesome on third down tonight Yeah 90% Jackson and it felt like they had a A really good plan for Jackson Dart

Some designed runs that looked good Scada bow is when he's healthy He's awesome to watch Isaiah likely Beast Like that That seems like that was a really good free agent acquisition for them to get him from the Ravens

because remember he was good on the Ravens he got hurt a little bit and Mark Andrews is always number one guy he might be that that might be a big big grab for them where it's like you look at their team it's like okay they got neighbors they got Scataboo they got

likely like that's starting to kind of shape up to be a pretty nice position groups I think it was two guys I think it was likely and then Patrick Ricard. Yeah. Oh, they got multiple guys, I think.

But two guys like that, I think... Yeah. They get the puncher, too. Are, like, setting a tone in terms of, like, what are we going to be about as a team? Yeah. Also, shout out James Winston. One of the better help the sky ups that I've seen all year. Mm-hmm.

And it's early in the season, but all-time help-up guy. Like, Dark got laid out on the sidelines, and James was a first responder on the scene. Yep. And just, like, pushing everybody out of the way. I got you. Yeah. George Pickens, I feel like, he had a couple. couple that he should have caught that he didn't.

The Cowboys, you could see the flashes in the offense, but it's going to be interesting. They have to win that, like this will be a massive game week two. Speaking of which, let's look real quick at next Sunday because you always get excited on Sunday night

when you're like, hey, what are we got coming? What do we got coming up? And now it's time for that special part of today's episode brought to you by NFL Sunday ticket with NFL Sunday ticket and YouTube TV, you get every game, every Sunday all in one place with the magic of multi-view. You can curate your own perfect Sunday slate while tracking every single out-of-market matchup to keep your fantasy team alive to make sure you're ready for kickoff. We've locked in the four games you absolutely need to be watching this Sunday.

Okay. So this is for everyone out there who is who's listening, who has multi-view. What is the multi-view? The perfect multi-view for the early slate in week two. I'm going to throw some out there. Ready? Oh, should we throw Steelers and Patriots on there? Yes.

Must win for the Patriots. Saints and Ravens got to be on there. Shuck. You got to have Shuck on the multi-view. I think Bengals and Texans auto multi-view. And then we need one more. One more. Is it Vikings Bears?

I think so. I think it's Baker Bucks. Baker Browns. Oh, true. Okay, that's a good one. Yeah. So go right now, YouTube TV, multi-view. You can watch four games at once.

It's incredible. So, yeah, we just gave you a great, a great NFL Sunday right there with the multi-view. So we're going to go Browns, Bucks, Steelers, Patriots, Bengals, Texans, and Saints Ravens. So you can take that chuck ladder to the moon. Okay, boys.

That was week one. We're going to do Who's Back in a minute, but that was any closing thoughts on week one. I've now decided to double down on Hank's face and just say, I'm glad Diggs did that. It was funny. Me too. Yeah. It's good. That's good.

I'm happy. I hope he does it harder next time. Get it right at it. Yeah. Yeah. It was a loud sound. It's going to suck if he does it again. And he will.

And you're going to have to. He will. You're going to have to defend it again. No, you won't have to defend it. You're going to have to cheer it. Yeah, you got to say that was awesome. I'm a fan of NFL football, but also I'm a fan of slapstick comedy. So I hope he does it again.

You got it, yeah. I hope they put a sound effect in the uprights that just go. Boy, yo, yo, yeah, yeah. It would be very funny. Yeah, he needs to do a better job, though, of hitting the top and then sliding down. That would be hilarious. And like pretending like he's knocked out. Yeah.

That'd be really good. I should do Who's Back of the Week? It's good to talk ball with the boys. Who's Back of the Week is brought to you by our first. friends, a twisted tea. Listen, football is back. It's the moment we've all been waiting for football season back in full swing, which means we'll be posted up with an ice cold tea until further notice.

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Go get it today. All right, Hank. Who's back of the week? We're going to talk a lot of college football on Wednesday. Who's back of the week is eating shit. Oh. Steve Balmer. Oh.

While we were recording the show. Yes. Yes. He put out a statement about these, you know, everything that's come down on the clippers and they're originally fighting it, but tonight, you put out a statement, said this has been a very difficult time

for everyone associated with the clippers, and after that I have sincere regrets. I want to apologize to our fans, employees, my fellow MBA owners, for the distraction and distress as matters cause, for which I accept responsibility as principal owner. And then he basically, you know, long, long statement, but he said,

we're putting this chapter behind us and we are complying with the penalties assessed by the league. We've paid the fine and are moving forward. So there is going to be no pushback. they came out, you know, they came out when it first came out, like a year ago that they denied, denied, denied.

He said he got screwed over two. Yep. Then when the suspension came out, they said this is bullshit. We, you know, categorically deny all these claims. And then he's just, whatever's come to light, he's just, he's like, right, we're going to eat all this shit. I think someone finally got into his head where it's like, dude,

you're caught red-handed. Winhorse said this. Remember we talked about it? like the Timberoles when they did this, they complied, they apologized, they were forthright and they're like, hey,

this is what we did. And then they gave them two of their picks back. They took five away. They gave two back. Balmer, someone smart around Balmer was like, dude, they literally have everything.

You are dead to rights. Like, what are you doing? And it was like, if you want to save any type of face, any type of picks, you have to just say you fucked up. And so smart by him.

I'm sure when he became a billionaire, he's like, I'll never have to eat shit again in my life. Ever. I'll never have to apologize. I'll never have to say I'm wrong. I'm always right. This has got to suck for him. Yeah. It's realizing you actually don't have fuck you money. Yeah. Yeah, because everyone around, which is, it's crazy because he is the wealthiest NBA owner, but still. Yeah. I thought he was going to drag this out in court. Pablo brought the richest NBA owner to his knees. Mm-hmm. Damn. Had him saying uncle. How much do you think he hates Pablo Tori?

Like, how much do you think he's just bitching about him, like, to his wife? Oh, I'm sure he's got, like, he's trying to reverse, reverse Unokard him. You think he's got, like, private investigators? Yeah. I doubt Pablo has anything, you know, any skeletons in his closet. But if he does, Balmer's finding those motherfuckers. Pablo should reverse, reverse the reverse Uno card and do, like, a fake skeleton. Yeah.

Like, if I were Pablo, if I were. And he should. He should. If I were Pablo, I'd like, next time I take out my trash, I'd, like, make it look like a whole, like a large body, like in a rug. And then they'd be like, we got you. Like, dude. It's literally, I'm literally throwing out a rug. Have a fake ex-girlfriend reach out to him.

Uh-huh. You should. That'd be funny. That'd be awesome. That'd be good. And then Balmer, like, ends up trying to bang her. And then now Pablo's got that on him. Uh-huh.

Oh, and the mother's back was just, uh. Oh, tennis. Oh. Dumb weekend to do it. Oh my God. The U.S. Open.

But I got to do it. Sunday of... And Saturday. And Saturday. Saturday women's Roebukna. Uh-huh. Sunday's Verve. So it was almost the first U.S.

men's grand slam winner since, what, like 2003? Sure. Yeah. Like Ben Shelton, we haven't done it in a very long time. Samprits might have been the last one. Ugh. Oh. Sounds good

Yeah he was He wasn't close He wasn't close Do you see his Verve was so locked in He didn't even know he won Yeah Yeah so he was He broke him like three times

The one that I don't understand That I was watching the women's final That the it was Sabalinka versus Rabakna One verse two They kept saying that No matter what happens in this match Rabakna is going to be the number one

When the ranking comes out on Monday But it's like they're They're playing against each other How could you how could you beat How could you lose to the number one But then still be number one? Makes no sense And erotic

2003 Yeah Also you were talking about Explaining like trying to explain Football Like it makes no sense When you really take a set back Trying to explain fucking tennis

The scoring system makes no sense Genuinely You sound like the stupidest person And you can't You can explain it in a way That sounds normal like oh well no this set is this game is to 60 it's 1530 whatever it wasn't it by the clock or something and then you have to yeah it makes no sense oh yeah it's vera also hit on ben shelton's

girlfriend yeah power move trinity rodman trinity rodman yeah who's a professional athlete herself she is uh uh all right that was talking tennis she seems like a great girlfriend by the way yeah like the most supportive girlfriend yeah definitely Ben Shelton, though. Yeah, he just didn't have it. No. Didn't have it. Ran out steam.

You could see it. Zverav is just a beast. And this is all an asterisk anyway because Jochovich cried. Too old. Yeah. So. But if he wasn't old, he would have won. I think we can all agree.

Yes. Okay. PFT. Hank took mine, actually, with Balmer. But that's fine. Oh. My Who's Back of the Week is going to be the Civil War. Oh.

because we had maybe the best hype video that I've ever seen in college football that came out on Friday. It was getting ready for the Kansas Missouri game, two teams that used to play. They used to be the same conference. And it was a game that meant everything every year. And Kansas just dropped a video on Friday that said it's really that deep and went back through the entire history of why Kansas and Missouri are different states. Yep. and how Missouri used to send people to kill people in Kansas because Kansas wanted no slavery and Missouri wanted slavery.

Yep. So they dropped a hype video with Edwin Koppik and John Brown hyping up this game being like, we hate you because you like slavery was the message going into it. I love it. Which is a great, that's why we love college football. Exactly. It really is that deep. And then Missouri went out there and proceeded to kick their ass.

and even the coach of Missouri said like, yeah, I was feeling a little extra motivation because of the hype video that they dropped. Drinkwitz is like, yeah, we wanted to rub it in at the end. Yeah, because you essentially said that we like slavery. So that might have been the case when the states were initially started up back in the 1800s. Drinkwitz took that personally. As you should. You should. But again, I love this dumb sport.

Yeah. It's the dumbest sport in the entire world. And I love it. College football the best is that like this stuff is like this is what of course they're going to bring up slavery. Yeah. Why wouldn't they? Because that's probably something that every single fan of Kansas has done in the past on that week when they're playing against Missouri. Like they probably talk about, oh yeah, you guys wanted slavery.

Yeah. I did like Pat 40, who's a very good writer. And I do like reading his stuff who covers college football for many, many years. think he would understand how stupid college football fan bases are. He said when the opportunity arises to manipulate 160-year-old tragic history and apply it to a college football game in 2026, associating one team of slavery and the Confederacy in the process, you probably shouldn't. This is crap. Pat 40 went to Missouri.

Okay, there we go. Right. The immediate reply was like, I wonder why, dude. And it was like honored alumni, 1988, Pat 40. Because it's actually true. Like, that is why. two states exist separately. Yeah.

It's like Pat 40, your, your point is not wrong. It's just you can't make it. Yeah. And also, like, it's college football.

Right. Right. It's college football. People are going to be fucking psychos. We had the, the stripper assassin, right? Pole assassin came back.

That was my other, yeah. He was back. Pole assassin and her monkey. Like that, that right there is, we got one, like one game where we have,

you know, you guys like slavery. We don't. And then the next one, poll assassin comes back after Texas wins and beats Ohio State. Her monkey, by the way, did not bite a child on Halloween. Yeah. It very clearly, also, if it did bite the child, there was a note that was on the door saying caution monkey.

Yeah. And also shout at Oklahoma State. We'll get into it. I think we're going to have the head coach of Oklahoma State on Wednesday's show. But that was awesome. College football. I mean, Brandon Walker, two years in a row. That was our former college football expert.

he picked Oregon. Yeah, that was tough. That was tough. They got, they got beat bad. It's not like Oklahoma State was. No. Oklahoma State was the better team.

Yes, absolutely. All right, my who's back of the week. I got two. The first is we got a big, still blue sweepstakes that's going on right now, starting Monday morning at 9 a.m.

And we're celebrating football kickoff. We're now live in Target, Circle K and 7-Eleven across the country. can go find out which one's closest to you at sell blue coffee.com. So there's going to be three grand prize winners. VIP visit to Barstool Sports on a Sunday, watch ball with us, $500 travel stipend, $500 worth of Stell Blue Coffee. To enter, you just got to fill in the entry form that will put on all the social.

That's one entry. For two entries, you can upload a receipt from Target Circle K or 7-Eleven. And for 10 entries, you post a picture or video on Instagram, TikTok, or ad. featuring your Stella Blue can from Circle K-7-Eleven or Target, and you'll get 10 entries, and we're going to pick some people who come watch Ball with us, which will be awesome. So that'll be really fun.

Appreciate everyone who buys. Obviously how it works. You know, when we get into these big stores, it's really big for Stell Blue Coffee and trying to save a bunch of dogs and drink good coffee. In order to stay in the stores, we need people to buy them in the stores. So everyone who buys it in the stores,

I really, really appreciate it. And hopefully we find some people who want to watch some ball with us. I will say this. I'm adding this off script. You better bring winners. You better bring winners because you will be asked to bring winners. I don't even know if that's legal, but you got to bring a winner.

So if you come watch football with us on Sunday, be loaded with the winner because that'll be the first question that all of us ask you is, what's your winner? And if you win, you're that much closer to getting a job. Let's just be honest. You went from 0% to 10%. that's true Max you know that's true I didn't say you get a job you'd be closer to getting a job

10% high if you gave us a winner I can't win it would have to be a really good winner yeah that'd be a really good winner my other who's back is Akron football because the

offensive coordinator Marty Wims who won the award or got to be offensive coordinator uh Akron fumbled on the fourth play yep shame what was the shark wheel thing oh they did score a touchdown with shark wheel that was a head coach

shout out acrid football said hey big cat said he wanted to see shark wheel we scored on shark wheel so joe moorhead shout out acrid football what was the guy's name the uh the coordinator marty whims the second so besides the fumble how was how was the play calling on that drive uh i think it was good i think he was going up tempo yeah you want to play that clip that was i think that was joe morhead who was talking. Big Cat. And some big names who, who, you know, did not,

were not selected by our Department of Accounting, namely Barstool, Big Cat, did hear through the grapevine that in lieu of him winning the contest, that there was one play he wanted to run Shark Wheel. And incidentally enough, that play is in our playbook. And the first touchdown to, fuck yeah. To Sean Patrick was indeed Shark Wheel.

Love it. So shout out Joe Moorhead. Shout out of Akron football. That's really cool. Awesome promotion they ran. Like that was, again, college football is in a weird place overall, but Akron's doing it right. That was very fun. So, okay.

Finish us off. Zach. My house back of the week this week is going to be the Kachuk brothers. They went to the University of Miami, Florida A&M game, and they kind of did this a solid, boys, because typically we think that, you know, professional assets are just graded every sport, and they can do no wrong. And they put some good tape out there for us, throwing the football around. Matthew Chuck May have throwing football

for the first time in his life the other day It was such a funny throwing motion Yeah listen, athletes like that you can be great at one sport And not great at others I think we learned that Several times last week But from who? Just all over the map

All over the map Like you're a really good kicker But not good at golf Yeah, something like that Yeah We gotta talk to Matthew That was tough But here's the thing though

Hockey players are terrible At every other sport Besides golf But here's the thing. Hockey players are playing basketball. It's comedy. The other side of it, though, did you see Kevin Durant? Yeah.

It's so smooth. On a rope. Kevin Durant has motion. He looked awesome throwing a football. Does Kevin Durant have eligibility? I mean, listen. One year, yeah. Like, he was making one-hand catches, like just a perfect spiral, just effortless.

That is actually really impressive when a guy who doesn't play this, like, Cross sport You can look really dumb Kevin Durant looked really good Throwing that football Bang Just perfect Is that too tall to be a quarterback?

Yeah probably He's a perfect quarterback Yeah I think perfect memes I agree Someone did comment right away They're like that throw would He's too tall It would sail over everyone

Hospital passes Okay it's not that serious But it is I think Give him a shot Yeah Give him a shot All right, you got another one, Zach?

Was that it? We covered a bunch of them, but I can pivot. Ryan Garcia had a tough last year, but he defended his Walterweight title with a super rushed TKO in second round the other day. Okay, okay, good for him. Good job, guys. First football Sunday in the books. Feels good to be back.

Feels really good to be back. Feels good to be the, hey, shout out the 1-0 club. Feels good. Anyone listening? One and now. Week one is fun when you win. It sucks when you lose. A lot of O-N-1 teams are going to be ranked ahead of some 1-0 teams.

They doubt it. Not mine. It's just week 1. Stay strong. Also, farting is back because actually we did a good job eating today. But farting is definitely back. We had a great healthy week one. Numbers.

Zero. Three. Ah, I was going to go. Five. Five. Eight. Five. Five.

Five. Yeah. 88. I'll go with two. Isn't it nice when your quarterback throws beyond sticks? Didn't have that last year. They were afraid to throw for first downs. 40.

40. Colton 6. Shane's sick. Shane is sick. 33. Which one went back, yeah. Shout out Colton. Shout out Colton.

One in O Club. One in O Club. Sick overall. Best outfit. Look at that. Colton, shout out Colton. Say something about the Cardinals. Things are really looking up, you know, if anything's possible, no matter where you are in life, if you show up every day and you suck life's dick, one day life might eat your ass. Oh, nice. All right. That's the Cardinals fan right there. That's a banger. Banger.

Card up. Rise up Red Sea. We got to put that out of quote. Shane's scared of you. Shane is scared of you. Any comment to Shane. Do you have anything to say to him? Keep believing, Shane. You might get your ass eight. Maybe if you limit the false stars. 26.

26. 26. Happy birthday to Roger Bennett and Deshaun Watson. No, no. Two all-star human. What's that memes? No, no, Deshaun Watson. Happy birthday.

Yeah, happy birthday. Bad birthday. Treat yourself. Something nice, DeShon. Happy birthday to Jimmy Butler, Jay Butt. Jay Butt. Birthday to Mook. Happy birthday to Mook.

Happy birthday to Tate. Terry McLaren, Pete Carroll, former coach of the Seattle Seahawks, New England Patriots, USC, and that's all I can't remember. Happy birthday to Marshall Yanda. Happy birthday to Dan Marino. Happy birthday to Gay Lord Perry, hilarious name. Happy birthday to Prince Harry.

Happy birthday to Jen and Marbles. Happy birthday to Michael. Not Mike, Michael Malone. Love you guys.