Pardon My Take - NFL Week 1, Fastest 2 Minutes, Recapping Every Game From Sunday, Mahomes Is Still Incredible And The Packers Are Dead

Episode Date: September 12, 2022

Fastest 2 minutes is back. (00:02:27-00:08:08) We then recap every game from A Wild Sunday Bucs/Cowboys (00:08:40-00:21:56) Patriots/Dolphins (00:21:56-00:35:28) Steelers/Bengals (00:35:28-00:43:19) Commanders/Jaguars (00:43:19-00:55:52) Eagles/Lions (00:55:52-01:05:27) Bears/Niners (01:05:27-01:12:04) Saints/Falcons (01:12:04-01:20:56) Ravens/Jets (01:20:56-01:31:19) Browns/Panthers (01:31:19-01:40:05) Colts/Texans (01:40:05-01:43:12) Giants/Titans (01:43:12-01:49:08) Chiefs/Cardinals (01:49:08-01:55:08) Raiders/Chargers (01:55:08-02:01:13) Packers/Vikings (02:01:13-02:08:12) We finish with Football guy of the week and Who's back of the week including some College Football talk. (02:08:12-02:33:38)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, week one of the NFL season. We're going to go through every single game, fastest two minutes. It was a crazy week one, topped off by an absolute stinker of Sunday night football, but we're going to talk about every single game. We also have who's back of the week. We're going to talk a little college football. We have football guy of the week. It's back, baby. It's the best thing that we do. We love doing these Monday shows for everyone. Football is all the way back and is brought to you by our friends at Game Time, the exclusive

ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. Game Time is a ticketing app that makes it easier than ever to score last minute deals on tickets to sports, concerts and shows, and they guarantee the lowest price. Billy, Bronco's going to the Seahawks tonight. What is the get-in price in Seattle? $72 on the Game Time app to go boo or cheer Russell Wilson. And what about Thursday night, the huge matchup Chargers Chiefs? $58. That's an absolute bargain. That's Game Time. They have the best prices out there. Download the Game Time app, go to the account tab to create a login and redeem code PMT for $20 off your first purchase terms apply. Download Game Time last minute tickets lowest price. Guaranteed the Game Time app is the only place you should be

getting tickets. The exclusive ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. Again, download the Game Time app, go to the account tab, create a login, redeem code PMT for $20 off your first purchase terms apply. Okay, let's go. Welcome to part of my take presented by Game Time, the exclusive ticketing app for Barstool Sports. Go check out Game Time right now. Today is Monday, September 12th, week one. We started Detroit Rock City where the Lions were feeling soupy as Ramen Raw St. Brown started hot but then cooled golf as their coach had a brain full of Dan Campbell's chunky chicken noodle soup

after calling for an inopportune onside kick. Speaking of chicken, Miles Colonel Sanders was playing chicken but Boston Market Scott had a side of mashed patitis as everyone was expecting a Russian attack from the Eagles but it was AJ Ava Brown that made Lions fans pop that cyanide capsule. Eagles 38, Browns 35. Down in Miami where the Patriots lost the battle of Bunker Hill as Tyreek caught bombs from World War II. Mack Prescott Jones went down to Florida and got his ass kicked like it was spring break. Kendrick Softcore Bourne had a hard time doing handstop unlike his owner Robert Kraft and Matt Lauer Patricia is going to be locked in his office reviewing film from this offense's woeful performance. Let's go down to the field

with head coach Mike McDaniel for his first win in the NFL. Thanks Mike. Dolphins 20. Patriots 7. Up to the Meadowlands wearing a touching tribute to my good friend Queen Elizabeth. The Ravens put their queen in the box daring the Jets to throw. Rashad Patrick Bateman money laundered Lamar Jackson's soiled pants and caught a touchdown from his quarterback. As Lamar Samuel L Jackson once famously said I've had it with these motherfucking snakes on the motherfucking plane and speaking of planes Marky Mark Andrews was able to take down the Jets defensive attack with 52 yards receiving. Braxton Leather Barrios left a bad taste in everyone's mouth because the Jets are ass again. Ravens 24 Jets 9.

Down to the Queen City. Now watch me pit. Now watch me nage. But with three missed tack hicks the stanky legs belong to the Steelers and the Bangles. It looked like a Lady Vols game out there with the orange uniforms and missing pats. Devon George W Bush was a weapon of past destruction as we did it Joe. Burrow was Biden his time in the pocket. Chris Oswell that Boswell get the game winner in overtime and the Steelers take down the defending AFC champs. The Steelers 43 the Bangles. Next door to the other Queen City. Again my personal friend Queen Elizabeth passed away this week at the ripe age of 96. I miss Lizzie so much she was at the catch with me the Schwarm. In a touching tribute to their suspended teammate the Browns forced the

chub against the rule. Laker Mayfield couldn't find the magic as the bad blood was confirmed positive in game week press conferences and the Browns had full blown Cades. York that is as the kicker nailed a 58 yarder for the win. Browns 26 Panthers 24. In Rale John Maryland the Jaguars drafted Trevor Lawrence too damn high. The Jags were pinned deep but Travis ATM was muddy. However after all the wealth was spread around momentum swung to the commies. Carson Wentzboro Baptist Church said God hates Jags as he went through the passing of the Christ to Antonio Mel Gibson and the Washington Commanders are in the wing column 28 22. Out in the NFC Westminster Abbey where the Kings buried. If you want to see the Queen you're going to have to look up to the

Skymore and Juju Smith Schuster was coughing the ball up but if you're looking for Paul Bearers you might want to get six Cardinals because they're sure to let you down. Greg Dorch Huh? Huh? Huh? Went Dorched Earth in a losing effort as the Chief's defense had Kyler Murray with no aim assist in the gulag running around with no plates. Learned from the loss failures failure is a proper teacher. Chiefs 44. Cardinals 21. Some so good. Up to the NFC North where Aaron Rodgers was missing a little LSD. Lazard Scatling and Devate that is. Justin Jeffers Zinn and Kirk Cousin were flying around as the Zinnas Soda Vic Zins were saying Skull all Sunday and Packer fans were coping hanging about their team's lack of buzz. Probably wish Rodgers didn't ditch

that long cut boom. Great point Deige. It's a new era in town as the Cavanaugh Connell era starts with a dub. Vikings 23. Packers 7. Standing on a corner, Jamis Winston down in Ola, such a fine sight to see. Dirty birds my lord up on the scoreboard and Jamis throwing two like T. He's on a heater. That's my leader. He cut the lead in half. He's the original crab feeder. Spoiler boom. The Saints go marching 2726. And that was fastest two minutes back. Thank you to Chevy, our sponsor for the fastest two minutes. The Chevy Silverado is commanding unstoppable and powerful. It's always truck season here at PMT. But now it's also tailgate season with the Chevy

Silverado brought to you by Chevy Silverado. Learn more Chevy.com. Tell them PMT saying you get $100 off your brand new Chevy Silverado. That was week one. That was fucking awesome. I'm so glad that football is back. I listen. We just watched an absolute stinker on Sunday Night Football. And we'll start with that game. But let's not let it ruin how sick that witching hour was and how awesome watching all those games. There was a moment there. We had two games that we thought were going to go to a tie. And there was like four different plays that were all swung the entire how the game was going to be played out all at the same time. And we all were just like, we're losing our minds. We're back. I need a couple of weeks, I think, to get readjusted

to watching that type of football. Because when every game was being switched back and forth back and forth back and forth everywhere in all these TVs, I was struggling to process all the data at once. My brain needs to get back into the reps. I've obviously been out of the game for what like seven months now. However long it's been since the Super Bowl. My brain struggled to keep up at times out there. But I loved it. I love the rush. I miss it so much. And yet the night game stunk. But as far as Cowboys losses go, you can have boring Cowboys losses, or you can have Cowboys losses that end in a hilarious injury with then Jerry Jones gets on the microphone. And I don't think that HIPAA exists for Jerry Jones. Like he can just say whatever, right? He can be like,

yeah, we're going to have to cut it off. DAX, DAX contract signing hand is fucked. It's like, it's the best because you if you're a beat writer for the Cowboys, you never have to be like, oh, I got to work sources. I just have to show up to Jerry Jones press conference. He immediately said like every other team like TJ Watt comes off the field says you can read his lips saying I think I tore my pec. Yeah, we still don't have an absolute like he hasn't done the MRI yet. So we're still like, oh, maybe leaving the hope for the fans. Yeah, Jerry, I don't even think the game was over. And he was just basically in front of a camera being like, yep, DAX broke his hand out for a few weeks, sucks for us. And now the Cowboys, I mean, Michael Carter, he's gone.

Officially gone. I don't know what he was doing punting with that was just classic Mike McCarthy. He read no one has ever done a better job at like pretending there's something like completely different than what they actually are when he went to the interview with Jerry Jones being like, I know analytics, I am new age now. And then you flash forward and Mike McCarthy's down two possessions, punting with like six minutes left. There's phoning it in and then there's whatever Mike McCarthy's doing. And maybe he's caught on situation where like we were talking about coach Joe last week, where coach Joe was so happy to get the buyout and get out of town. Like McCarthy, I think he's been trying to get fired for a while now. And he's doing everything

that you would do if you were a coach trying to get fired, knowing that Jerry Jones is just going to hire Sean Payton probably already has a handshake deal needs a couple of seasons to let that cool off because I bet you Jerry Jones thought about just like firing Mike McCarthy two weeks after he hired him after he like hung out with him enough and got his vibe. He's like, this was a mistake. I want to fire him. Mike McCarthy definitely like spilled something on one of Jerry Jones's couches probably farted in an inopportune time. Like, you know, one of those Mike McCarthy, Jerry Jones went out to get like, Hey, coach, do you want me to get you a drink? He gets up to go to like the the refrigerator or something. And then he comes back. He's like,

did you fart? And Mike McCarthy's like, no, I think that's your dog. It's like Jerry's like, I haven't had a dog in 10 years, Mike. It could be something as simple as just Mike McCarthy sneezes in a meeting and a booger comes out a little bit and then Jerry just looks at him like, this is my guy. Yeah, the booger sneeze guy. This guy, he's got a mustard stain on his shirt. I also think Mike McCarthy, I know what you're doing, Mike McCarthy, the jacket that you have that you're like pulling up over your neck that keeps getting higher and higher. I know what you're doing. It's not working. I still think you're fat and dumb. So I always laugh when they send the the doctor out onto the field for the for the Dallas Cowboys because he's a guy wearing

the hat. Yep. And everyone always is like, Oh, I can't believe the doctors wearing a cowboy hat. I don't have a problem with the doctor wearing cowboy hat. In fact, I actually stay woke. I think that it's Jerry Jones and he might have a bug inside that hat. That's how he gets the injury information. Yeah. So quickly you remember when Homer Simpson wore the surveillance cowboy hat. That's what that's what he's doing with the doctor. I don't have a problem with the cowboy hat. I just wish it was bigger. If I'm going to be trusting myself to a cowboy doctor, I don't want them to be wearing like a tiny little like half ass cowboy hat. I want it to be 10 gallon. Well, no, he needs to he needs to match the hat with the like level of player. If DAC gets

injured, you need to come out with the biggest hat you've ever seen. Yeah. If it's like a special teamer, you come out with like a tiny little like maybe even like a miniature cowboy hat and it's like you don't deserve the big cowboy. That's our so then the fans can be like, Oh, like big time player big cowboy or like based on the extent of the injury, how serious it is that he takes off the small hat, puts the big one. This is the surgical hat I'm putting on right now. That way Jerry immediately knows how bad the injury is so we can leak it to the press. Yes. So the cowboy stunk like they stunk pretty bad. I actually didn't think the bucks were like incredible. If the bucks what I don't know what they're doing, but it felt like every single one of their position like

skill position players got hurt at some point during the game. Julio Jones got hurt for a minute. Mike Evans got hurt. Chris Goblin, which I can't even believe he's back already. He got hurt for a minute. Leonard Burnett got hurt. They're offensive line. Either offensive line. So everybody except for their 45 year old quarterback got it. Yes. It feels like the bucks are going to be a really good team this year. If they can just not have everyone get hurt every single game, but I didn't walk away. That wasn't like, wow, the bucks look like their upper echelon. And of course it's Tom Brady. So they'll probably play themselves into it. It was more damn the Cowboys suck. I actually thought Leonard Burnett looked better than I

thought he was. So Leonard Burnett pulled, he pulled a fast one on us this off season by getting all the buzz going about how fat he is. Great move on his part because he might be fat right now. He might be heavier than he was last year, but based on what my expectation was going to be, I was expecting like 320 pound Leonard Burnett to show up and be like throwing up Chinese food on every kid. The fact that he's putting his shoulder down and getting first downs without injuring his hamstring is like, wow, this guy's, this guy's all pro. Yeah. He seems fine. I'm, I'm now looking at the schedule because I want the Cowboys. So the only thing we don't, you don't want, here's what we have to be ready for. The Cowboys are going to suck this year

because Cooper Rush is going to play and we had the one Cooper Rush game against the Vikings, but Cooper Rush is going to play. Dak is going to be out for, let's call it, let's call it a month and a half. So their season is going to be over by the time Dak comes back. The one thing we can't have happen is they do a full tank season and then they get like price up. Well, I don't think they're going to do that because it would be a socks because of Dax contract. Actually, like the way we can, we can laugh about Dax injury because it's a objectively funny injury. He, he hurt his thumb and so it's not like his career is in jeopardy at this point. Right. And the Cowboys are just going to have to like build all the pieces around him and wait for

him to return and he's still going to be the quarterback. I don't think, I think Jerry Jones has certain guys that he loves. He loves Ezekiel Elliott. He loves anyone that plays for the University of Arkansas and he loves Dak Prescott. I just, yeah, Ezekiel Elliott, by the way, just wearing a visor. I think it was just the like, I don't even want to be here. So I don't, I want, I want to like be in a different dimension visor. No, you can't see, he can't see anything. He looked like a car. Yeah. He actually looked like his, his body looked like an automobile. Yes. And then we also, we have to mention Chris Collins worth dude, take a day off. That was horrendous. Yeah. That made the bad game worse. I was thinking that maybe he was pissed off watching the Florida game

yesterday. He was like yelling at his TV. That's the only thing that I can think of. It was, but it sounded, he sounded like Dak Prescott looked. Yes. He sounded like I feel. Yeah. Yeah. Jake, go ahead, Billy. Speaking of voices, Tom Brady was doing an interview after the game and his voice sounded super high, which would be evidence of a nose job like PFT's been saying. Yeah. It's called hyponase, hyponazality. And it's, you know, after nose jobs, turns out you have a high pitch voice. Well, I mean, it's, yeah, it's very obvious that he got something done. His nose is so skinny right now. And Giselle tweeted, let's go Tom Brady. So that's, he's closed. Definitely not getting divorced. That actually, the fact that your spouse is adding you on Twitter tells me actually it's,

it's worse than we thought. Like that's not normal behavior. I went back through a timeline a little bit, not being horny, just looking at the Instagram post that she's put up in the past. She's never once wished Tom Brady, hey, at Tom Brady, hey, at my husband. Good luck today. Seems like she's overcompensating a little bit. She tweeted something and you started going on her Instagram. Yeah. Well, because all of her tweets looked back to her Instagram. They linked back to it. It was funny if it was just Bonner. I do want to say, yeah, I was actually thinking like, it might be Tom Brady's social people, like, really, like talking to themselves, being like, Hey, Tom, I love you. And he just sits back. Nice job. Yep. That's wrong. But if Giselle

does want to talk about it, like, you know, put it all the way on the list, Jake offer extended. Can we, I mean, Chris Collins, it's got to sit out. You can't do that. So this is the only week that he has to do two days, two games in a week, because it's something happening between. It wasn't. Yeah, that was weird. It was weird. I don't know what happened. I mean, his son is literally right there. Well, it's a different role. Yeah, but I mean, they sound the same. Yeah. Just put it, sound the same. I don't know. I actually think that you could do a pretty good job calling a game with a Chris Collins with soundboard. Yeah, easily. Here's a guy. He would just be like, here's a guy, Al. And Mike would be like, that's not my name. Yeah, right. All right, Al. Have

another steak. And it was such a snoozer. No one would even notice. Mike Torrico could have just done the game by himself. Yeah, he easily could have. He's a consummate pro. Okay, so let's just set aside Dax injury. Mike does Tom Brady and had him just practice. Yeah, be good. That'd be wonderful. That's when no one's watching. Yeah. Is that true? I used to do YouTube games in college. Fuck yeah. I would record on my phone. Next level mental reps like Russell Wilson. Russell Wilson doing reps where he's doing the fake high fives. High fives. Yeah. High fives. Do a training camp. Kind of already smacked your butt. Yeah. So I actually should. So I was thinking about what happened here with with the Cowboys today and they'll just set aside the fact that

Prescott got injured. Why the fuck do they shove Dallas down her face every year? Because it's it makes no sense. No, it makes perfect. I don't even think that they're relevant. I think that most people just like to watch them lose. I don't think that they have a big fan base. No, it has nothing to do with that. It's the fact that we're not we're not the people why Dallas is on. We watch football no matter who is that person. It's the it's the people who are like, should I watch a game tonight? I don't know. Oh, the Cowboys. They were good 30 years ago. Right. I'm going to tune it in. That's that's all it is. It's old people. No, but I don't think the youths care about the Dallas Cowboys. They get like they're like the Clintons. No, but they were big in the

nines and they make me want to kill myself. Well, yeah, they would kill you. That's what I'm saying. Everybody around them wants to sue you. No, they they it makes perfect sense. So if there was like a hundred if you're trying to get a hundred people to watch like let's say or say let's say a game's on right and a hundred people are going to watch 120 are going to watch because the Cowboys 80 are going to like you're going to lose or you'll get exactly a hundred if the Jaguars are on. Wait, you always get 20 more people. So you always get 20 more people in the Cowboys or the Giants exactly 20 more people. No, I'm just saying I like round numbers. The Giants. Yeah, the Giants are in the same boat. They're in New York. Like this is it's it's not news. It's not news wide.

The first take will always lead with the Cowboys, the Lakers, LeBron like I just want to make more sense. It's just that and I would agree with you to a certain point like five, 10 years ago with the Cowboys. But at this point, I just I don't know who out there is still clamoring for more Cowboys. It's not that people are clamoring for it. It's just that the people who are wait and the people who aren't going to the people who aren't going to watch are going to watch because the Cowboys are on. It's a name. It's a brand recognition that they're like, oh, Cowboys are on. I don't know. I'm going to watch. I don't know. I say it always does. They always the Cowboys, the Giants, the Packers actually. I completely I understand the concept of needle moving teams.

I just think that the Cowboys might be reaching the point where they're not a needle moving team anymore. I mean, they were pretty they were pretty good last year. Like they were they played in fun games. So I don't I think I think you're just thinking of this game. Yeah, this game. This game sucked. Yeah. And most Cowboys games do suck. Yeah, this game was was terrible. All right. So Ezekiel Elliott looks cool. Yeah, he does. He looks very cool. And by the way, just literally jumped on the bandwagon. He took off a Dak Jersey and put on a Brady Jersey. Oh, wow. Oh, that's gross. When you've lost Skip Bayless. No, the first taken and Skip show are going to just do like an hour of Dak talk. It's called undisputed. Undisputed. Yeah. And Shannon

Sharps on it. Yeah, I'm sure they're going to debate Dak, like for an hour and a half. See show gets made. If I were him, I would I don't believe that he's actually getting rid of that Jersey for free. No, I think Skip's going to because if he was serious about it, he would have put it in his penis microwave. Yeah, or the trash where he then pulls it out. Yep. Three weeks later. I think I think we haven't seen the last skip in a Cowboys uniform. No, he will be back. All right, let's get into the games. Let's let's hop right in. We should have said this off the top. Jake, PFT, Max, welcome to the one and all club. Feels good. Congratulations. Feels good to be a winner, guys. I love winning with y'all. Welcome to the one and all club. Bill, you kind of ruined it

because it would have been awesome if it was just Hank. But let's start with that game. Dolphins 20, Patriots seven. The Mike McDaniel era starts with a very impressive win. Yeah, it also starts with Tyree Kill saying McDaniel's going to need a wheelbarrow for his nuts to carry them around. He was talking about which was kind of the deciding factor of the game. Bill Belichick at the end of the second quarter, deciding not to use any of his timeouts to try to get the ball back. Mike McDaniel's being like, fuck it, we're going to go for this fourth and seventh scores a touchdown. You got grown men waddling in the in the stadium and the Patriots, I mean, go ahead, Hank. Look, I'm I'm I've put some thought into this the last couple of days

and even kind of last year. But it's just, you know, when the show started, whatever it was, seven years ago. And for the last five years, even last year, a little bit, obviously, you know, it was a little bit a little bit, you know, kind of forced, but we did. We did beat the Bills in the in the cold game. We did have, you know, a lead in the AFC East later in the season. But I'm I'm think I'm just ready to fully admit that the Patriots are not the Patriots anymore. They're not the Patriots that I grew up since I was nine years old, you know, loving and rooting for the Tom Brady Bill Belichick Patriots, who basically were they were the Bills are this year. They're perennial Super Bowl favorites. Every single game you expect them to

win. If they lose anywhere, even if they lose in the AFC Championship, that's a that's a lost season. Like that's the Bills this year. They lose. They don't win the Super Bowl. It's a loss. Well, I like what you're doing right now. You're just putting you're putting this like the Bills don't win the Super Bowl. You're like, they're no Patriots. Yeah. And you're still talking about the Patriots retroactively comparing the old Patriots already to the Bills. I like it. I think no, but I'm just talking about like how would feel when the Patriots would lose it be a regular season loss should be devastated. And now realistically, it's like, and they still should have beat the Dolphins, the rookie head coach against Belichick. That's a tough. That's a tough.

That's a tough loss. But I just don't have like if whereas before, if the Patriots didn't win the championship, I was devastated. Now it's like if the Patriots make the playoffs, that's a winning season. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And you know, every Sunday, it's like when it is, but I just like I am welcome to come down to earth. You're you're back with the normal fully ready to admit that the Patriots like I'm not going to be cocky. You woke up from the dream. Yes. I basically woke up because I watching the game today, hearing you and the way you were talking. I could tell there was a tone change. You were like, this team is not good. No, they reminded me at times of like a big 10 West offense where it felt like every single yard was hard to get. Like every every

first down was hard to get. Every every like drive was like, you know, every play just felt and they don't have a dominant defense that could be Mike McDaniel was was he called every single play in the book. He was he was calling like the craziest misdirection screen plays cross plays I've never even seen before. He realized that it might be a smart idea to just get the ball into the fastest player in the history of the earth, like get the ball into his hands a few times a game like they're scheming them open. And obviously the Patriots are trying to stop them. But Hank, you're right that it seemed like like when the Patriots had the ball or maybe big you might have just said this. But the first downs that they were getting, which were few and

far between seemed like they were scratching and clawing to get every single yard. There were so many like seven yard completions that were like to the far side of the field, where Mac puts his entire body into it. You make a diving catch. And it's the hardest seven yards you've ever gotten. Right. Nothing seemed easy for the Patriots. And it's it's very nice to see Hank get humbled like this. It really is. And I think you're taking it pretty well. I'm sure you'll lash out eventually about all this. But no, it's that's the thing where people I think want to get mad and be like, oh, the Patriots, it's like, I like that you're they're not that good anymore. We won three. Well, we won three Super Bowls when I was a kid. You know, my middle age, high school and beginning

of college years were tough. We had two Super Bowl losses. And then we won three Super Bowls, like right when I started working at Barclays. They're there. They were unbelievable times. I'll never forget them. But those days are over. Yeah. And I'm I've you're accepting it, which is nice. I'm looking forward to you becoming a loser just like us, though. It's going to be great, like scratching and clawing your way to seven and 10. Man. But I, with all this said, Belichick still like I don't think that they didn't look very good. But I'm not going to I'm trying to not overreact to everything week one, except the Packers are completely dead. I'm trying to like have a little bit of big picture. So I'm sure

the Patriots will look good next week. But this one was a little shocking just with how tough it looked for them to get yards. Also, but that that kind of plays into the whole like it is true. They had one of the best offensive minded Jules was talking about it. Like Josh McDaniels, one of the best offensive minds in the entire league. He's obviously coaching with the Raiders now. And it's not all Belichick. You know, everyone gives all the credit to Belichick. But I think it's it's obviously proven over the years, no more Brady, no more McDaniels. It's not just Belichick. And when you lose one of the best offensive minded coaches in the league, what if your offense isn't going to look as good? What if it's not like it's not like

rocket science? Well, I wasn't Trisha. What if this is actually if it was rocket science, they probably better. This is the best part of like what Belichick has done. You can just basically say everything that he does is genius and calculated. What if he was like Matt Patricia, offensive coordinator? He's going to be so bad. He will be the perfect fall guy. No one everyone would be like, look at this dumb idiot who's trying to coach like do plays. Bill Belichick is just trying to set his guys up. How could you blame him for being loyal? Well, that's why he said that. I think it's even more smart. Yeah, exactly. I think it's like one level past what Big Cat said, which is he's giving it. He's putting all the attention on Matt Patricia

and Joe Judge. And you don't know even which one of those two guys is fucking up. It's like one of them is. It's genius. So it's Belichick. Patrice might be back. It's Belichick taking all the blame and responsibility and getting rid of it himself while also not throwing one single guy under the bus because it's still up in the air. It's like, you know how in a firing squad, you give one guy the blanks so they don't know that they're the ones. He's probably got them both calling plays and they don't know which one is actually the one that's being used as the offensive coordinator. And that's why Mac Jones is struggling. Now, this is the big question. Is Mac Jones the guy? He heard his back. He got X-rays on it. Oh, really? Yeah. Because that's the part

that you have to ask yourself because it's not like, I still think if Belichick wants to keep coaching, he could coach for another decade and probably win a ton of football games. But if you don't have the quarterback, if he's not the quarterback, when are you going to start asking yourself that? Or are you not? I think he's the guy. I think it's the second year. Okay. Tom Brady's second year. I mean, I had, we're going to talk about the Bears, there was moments in the first half. They won the Super Bowl, but it was on the back of one of the best defenses of all time. Yeah, right. Tom Brady wasn't the guy in 2001. Hank, I got a tough question for you. Hypothetically, what would you do if Belichick left and coached somewhere else?

I'd be destroyed. That'd be real shame. Why would you say that? No, I'm just curious, what would I like if... Nebraska? No, I'm curious. Well, yeah, the job's open right now. Listen, again, this is where it's like you guys, haters, always trying to make me feel bad. I was a real question. This is a real question that, again, you haven't had to go through, but going through the process of is the current quarterback of the guy? That's a hard thing to do as a fan that most fans of NFL teams have had to do many times over. Unfortunately, many, many times over. Yeah, I think you got to give it time again. It's only a second year. But I also, I think it's a lot less stress-free when your team isn't that good. Like, again,

I bring up the bill's analogy, and I'm not doing that to troll. I'm really not. The bills are the Super Bowl favorites, and it's like every... There's so much pressure on them. So much pressure. Every single game, if they lose, the world is falling. And if they don't win the Super Bowl, it's a humongous failure. Like, that's a lot of pressure. Week one, and then you have to wash out the entire season. It's not fun. It's very unnerving. It's like that new Nick Cage movie. It was like the enormous weight of incredible talent. Yes. Heavy is the head that wears the crown is what I'm just getting at. And that's where it's like the bills. It's Super Bowl or bust. Oh, it's not. It's a lot. Hank, you... The... Is he is... Your quarterback, the guy, is a conversation

that I have in my head every single day forever. Because it's just... That's just when you don't have a guy, you're just constantly asking yourself that. So that was why I asked. You might... You might not even be close to there with Mac Jones. I like Mac Jones. I think he's the guy. So there you go. Then you're good. Then you're good. And you know what we're getting at here? Like, I just realized what we've done, we've... We just buried the Patriots week one. No, I guess what I'm saying. I'm not trying to overreact. Well, we kind of did. And I'm standing by our overreaction because I do think that they stank. No, I think they're going to win next week. I'm actually going to take them against Steelers. But then what's going to happen is like,

I'm terrified now that the Patriots are going to go on like a serious run later this season. And then Hank's going to be like, suck my dick, you guys. No, I'm back. And he's going to forget all the humility and lessons learned. No. And Hank's going to do another victory lap and do little parades, stick his chest out like he's dotting the eye. I did that last year and after the playoff game against the Bills. I'm not... I'm not bearing that. It's over. I was just asking that question because I'm like thinking about how often... The Bills are the best team in the FCUs. Yeah. I was just thinking how often I have that conversation with like friends and everyone like, is this person the guy? And it sucks because then you're just constantly

like memes is just nodding his head behind me. Like, because he's just like, yeah, the Jets every two years. Mike White. Yeah. Jake, do you have any comment about the Dolphins? Because I would like to see you put your sportsmanship on full display. The Dolphins looked awesome. Yeah. Those looks incredible. The first half, I've never felt that before. Good coaching decisions, good quarterback play, explosive plays, great defense. They had the scoop and score like it was literally a perfect 30 minutes of football. I've never experienced that. We blew that one with Melvin Negrum, not mentioning that he was on the Dolphins. That took me by surprise. Yes. Yeah. Also, do you have the stat? The stat. Only quarterbacks to be

undefeated against Bill Belichick. Can you name the three? I saw the stat. Oh, you saw it. So, John L. Way's 4-0. Our guy Jake Plummer's 3-0. I just whipped that out. Yeah, that would be sick. And two is 4-0 against Bill Belichick. I saw two is 4-0. Yeah. So, John L. Way, Jake Plummer, Tua are the only three quarterbacks, multiple wins and be undefeated, I think, would be the exact stat. Yeah. Because what about Nick Foles? He's got to be... No, didn't they lose that season? No, I can't remember. He might be 2-0. Yeah. He might be... I don't know if they played other seasons, but the Dolphins look awesome. I'm sorry. Jake, the Dolphins look very good. Nothing really went wrong. This is a make or break year for Tua. If Tua doesn't have a good year,

I'm asking myself that question you guys were talking about earlier. Probably not the guy. Tua and I would like to address the fact that there was one clip going around about a Tua ball that fell 20 yards short and that was a tip pass. Okay. So, just want to have that record show. What would you guys have said if Mike McDaniel wore Supreme Air Force Ones and then got smoked? What do I bet? Did he get smoked? No, I'm saying it's a swaggy move. No, I respect the move, but I think it's like one of those things where it's, again, tie your heels right. Huge balls. I like Mike McDaniel. Like if you lose that game wearing those shoes, it's like... Yeah. I think having somebody that's that different like Mike McDaniel is, I think that's

really good. I think it's awesome to have like different characters in the sport. Like that's where we get 99% of our content is out of like these different types of personalities that we have across the league. If you're just like a carbon clone of somebody, if you're trying to do like the Bill Belichick disciple thing where they try to be Bill Belichick somewhere, that's not going to work. You have to be yourself. I think McDaniel is being himself. I don't know if it's going to work long term, but it looks awesome today. What's the adversity thing that Jules was saying and like you can be the fun, happy guy that's like got a funny answer to everything, but if your team starts losing or hard times come about, like how do you respond to that?

We don't know, but off to a great start for Mike McDaniel. Dolphins, in terms of like impressive performances, they're up there for week one. Like I was definitely impressed with how they played. My one word that I wrote down at the top and I underlined was rough shot. They ran rough shot. I've never used that expression before, but it seemed like it felt good in the moment. And Hank was like, what does rough shot mean? I was like, you got your shit pushed in. Yeah. That's basically what it means. Yeah. Two was 23 for 33, 270 and one TD and that one pass was a deflected pass. So just what happened? It's not like OMG numbers. No, but he didn't make the big error that we all thought

was coming. We all thought the game was going to basically turn on a big two mistake and it never came. So he played a clean game. Yeah. All right. Next up, Steelers Bengals, Steelers 23, Bengals 20. Zack Taylor now in the list of guys who didn't play any of his offensive players, any snaps in the preseason, and it showed their new offensive line. Like the first half, the Bengals came out and it looked like they had not done anything together ever. Like they hadn't hung out together, anything. Joe Burrow had a very bad game, I would say. What if his appendix was the part of his body that was making all the good decisions for him? That would suck for him. But I did think like I, Joe Burrow makes sense because he was, he probably lost some weight,

he had surgery, he missed preseason for a reason. The rest of the team, there's less of an excuse. And even with all that, Joe Burrow still kind of won the game. Yeah. Like they, the Bengals kind of won that game. It was a tough ending where they blocked that extra point or was it just a miss? It was a blocked extra point at the end. And then it was a bad snap on Evan McPherson's overtime field goal. That's right. And then the Steelers also doinked one in overtime. And so, all right. So one thing as a side, so our guy, Stathole Sports, who now works for Barstool Sports Part-Time Blogger, but very funny, go follow him on Twitter. He said that there was, this was, there was 10 fourth quarter missed kicks or extra points today. And I think that

the kickers are just, if the kickers fuck up, we just have fun Sundays. Yeah. They are the, they are the Canary in the coal mine for like great Sundays. Kickers, kickers fucking up, especially when it's Bengals kickers. Evan McPherson did this. Remember that game last year? Against the Packers. Against the Packers. That might have been the most fun NFL Sunday of the regular season last year. There was 12 that, that Sunday. And it's, they all, we all sync up us kickers like, like sorority houses on their periods. And we all fuck up at the same time. It has something to do with the moon, I'm sure about it. But yes, that does translate to a much more chaotic, especially when over times are involved. You get like ties and sometimes what's

more exciting than ties is near ties. Ties where it's like people snatch a victory from the jaws of a tie. Your breath away from, and this game should have been tied. Yep. And Zach Taylor made it an egregious error where he was playing for the tie, punting, and he left 15 seconds, his punter left 15 seconds on the play clock. I don't know, that, that is a coaching thing. So Zach Taylor explained that away. I'm glad you brought that up. No, no, he intentionally snapped it with 15 seconds left. He goes, it's a new operation. We snapped there with 13 seconds. I understand that. Trust me, we'd rather do something different, but just trying to make sure the operation ran smoothly. It turned out that we sacrificed some seconds just to make

sure that we were all on the same page there. And so it was a completely, completely intentional snapping to make sure the operation went well. It was just a prank. It was because the operation needed to be on the same page, which is why they snapped it. And the 13 seconds ended up being very crucial as the Steelers needed it to win the game. And they did. And the Steelers, I actually feel bad for Steelers fans, even though Jersey Jerry, our friend who we watch all the games with, wished that my quarterback dies. But Steelers fans, there can't be a worse feeling than winning week one against your rival and then having your best player be out for the season, most likely. Yeah. And your second best player taking the torch from Big Ben and walking out in a walking

boot. Yeah. So that's the story. TJ Watt, possibly out for the season, looked like he tore a pack. And like that is, he was a complete menace. The Steelers, well, they have seven sacks. He was a monster. Seven sacks and they forced five turnovers. It was insane. Like their defense was everywhere. And you have, I mean, he's probably, if he's not the best defensive player in the league, he's second behind Aaron Donald. And he's the most important guy they have. Yeah. I also thought that Mitch was better than Big Ben was last year, which is really all you can say. Yeah. And there, that's the scary part about the TJ Watt injury. The Steelers scored 23 points, but their offense was not very good. Like they, I think they won the game with 13

first downs in an overtime. Yeah. That's tough. Their running game is, is stink. Their running game continues to be stink. Pretty bad. Their offense did not look like it was, they had a couple like nice screen passes. I respect what Mike Tomlin did on their very first drive when he challenged. Yeah. Because he was just like, get these things out of my pocket. I'm so bad. He lost the challenge four minutes into the season, which is, it's great because you don't, you don't have to have that, that weight hanging around later. I actually think if you look up the stats, it's probably between like Lovey Smith and Mike Tomlin for being the worst challengers of all time. Yes. Yes. Also, I have a fun staff for you. And 1986. 1986. Hank. Hank. That was yours. You,

you incepted me with that one. 1986. Challenger. Yeah. Too soon. Mitch is 4-0 against the AFC North. Okay. As a starter. Let's go, Mitch. Let's, let's, let's remind ourselves of that. Because he plays in the AFC North now. All Mitch has to do is just keep, keep the Kenny Pickett questions away for another week. That's our minute. That's all he has to hope for, because obviously they're going to go to Kenny at some point, but if they win football games, it's going to be one of those situations where it's like, well, we won. So I guess we're staying with Mitch. And, and the Bengals are going to be fine. Like that was, like you said, they won that game and they actually, it was crazy watching it being like, these are the same Bengals where they're just the horseshoe

up their ass is going to continue because they should have won it in regulation if it wasn't for a blocked extra point. So I'm not really worried about the Bengals, but preseason might matter. Like Jules, I've, I've now started taking mental notes. Jules is right. Like you go to Aaron Rogers, you go to Russell Wilson tomorrow or tonight didn't take any preseason snaps. Like be careful. The Rams didn't. So I, yeah, preseason matters. It clearly was like the Bengals, they didn't basically show up until the second half. And it was a little too late. You're talking to me first quarter. Yeah. No, you're talking right now to betting on the Seahawks because I think Seahawks first quarter. Russell, Mr. I'm anointed as the leader of this team.

Haven't played a snap. I'm the captain versus iron sharpens iron with Drew Lock and Geno Smith going head to head with each other. Like a couple of bull elephants. Like the Rams, the Bengals and the Packers offense all looked abysmal for, I mean, the Bengals kind of picked it up towards the end. Seahawks first quarter, but they looked abysmal for the first half. I mean, don't ask me because I'm the worst gambler on planet earth. I'm doing it. I'm as cold as I couldn't be colder, but Seahawks first half game of my life. It's going to be, it's going to be like DK going up against people at the same time, which he's used to. And then it's going to be like Drew Lock, begging and pleading to not get sacked. Elijah

Penny probably getting injured by the third quarter. But still that first quarter looks pretty juicy right now. Jake just gave me the look like when you would swear around your parents, when you were like 12 years old, they're like, come on, are you serious? When I said Seahawks first quarter game of my lifetime, he's like, come on, you can do quarter of the year. It's a quarter of my lifetime. Yeah. No, that will be the quarter of my lifetime. So Geno Smith, he played in preseason. He was in a QB battle. He had to play in preseason. That's what I'm saying. It's it's it's survival of the fittest. And so he's going to wear his scars will make him stronger. Yes. All right. So yeah, Zack Taylor punched in the face by a teammate before then. Yeah,

it was just got to pay his debts. Yeah. Zack Taylor, tough game, but stealer like both teams lost because Steelers lost to J. Y. In a way, both teams won though. When you say. Yes. Yes. Both teams. It should have been a fucking tie. It should have been a tie. This is stupid. I'm counting. This is a tie. Zack Taylor robbed us. Can you make sure that as the season progresses, like I'm counting this, I'm going to count as a win for the Steelers, but it should be at least a tie for the Bengals. Correct. As the season goes. Yes. All right. Before we get to the next game, PFT, you got a quick word from one of our sponsors. Yes. Before we get to the next game, I want to talk to you about Coors Light. I drank maybe the bluest mountain Coors Light I've ever

had in my life yesterday. Hell yes. It was sick. Shout out to the AWL's. They sent over a just a bucket for me personally of six Coors Lights as I was getting ready to leave the bar yesterday. I was wrapping up a college football game, getting ready to leave. They said not so fast, my friend. Here are six Coors Lights. They were icy blue and there's only one beer out there that's literally made to chill. That's Coors Light. The mountains on the bottles and cans, they turn blue when your beer is cold. That way you always know when it's time to chill. When you need to hit reset, just open a Coors Light. It's mountain cold refreshment that's made to chill. Coors Light is cold-loggered, cold-filtered and cold-packaged. It's literally made to chill. It's as crisp and

refreshing as the Colorado Rockies. Perfect for a moment to unwind. You can win exclusive chill merch, fun local experiences, even a trip to New York, Chicago or Los Angeles. Enter to win at CoorsLight.com slash take. Sweepstakes ends $9.19.22. No purchase necessary. $50 USDC. $21 plus only. Voidware prohibited for rules. Visit CoorsLightSummer.com. Celebrate responsibly. Coors Brewing Company, Golden Colorado. Okay, Commanders 28, Jaguar's 22, the Carson Wentz Roller Coaster. Oh my god. I mean, we watched you on it. I wasn't ready for it. I fucking hated the guy. I loved him. I hated him again. I hated myself for loving him. I loved myself for hating him.

It was everything that I've seen other people experience Carson Wentz through the, like I've seen it through their eyes before, but feeling it yourself as a different animal. He, it was so perfect. It was such a perfect Carson Wentz game. I went through the play, the play sheet. He started the game seven for, or sorry, 11 for 16 with two touchdowns. Fucking awesome. Awesome. Then the next drives went in order. Punt, fumble. That wasn't his fumble. Punt, punt, interception, interception. Now, and then he finished with two huge touchdown drives. It was essentially all of Carson Wentz smashed into one game. So I think, I think the ultimate Carson Wentz experience is he is electric and fun to root for because he has to dig himself out of the

holes that he creates for himself so frequently. Yeah. And he does have the ability to get you in some pretty fucking deep holes. And he's also got the rope necessary to get out of those holes occasionally. He's like a terrible Chinese knockoff Brett Favre. That's, that's one way to put it. I was also going to say like a Chilean minor. Yep. Where you just stuck down there in your own shit for a long time. And then occasionally you get dragged out and then Darren Revelle is like, wow, look how much they're paying him. Yeah. Look at those Oakleys. Yeah. Exactly. So, so Carson Wentz, not only did he throw two interceptions, he threw two interceptions on back to back place. At that point, I was like, okay, we're absolutely done here. I did forget it was 73

degrees 73 degrees as Stathole Sports told us that is Carson Wentz best temperature. He's the best quarterback in the history of sports playing in exactly 73 degree weather, which is what it was like in Ralph John today. And yeah, he got a set of the past, the past is to Johan Dotson. We're awesome. And Johan Dotson is I would put a future on him to get rookie of the year. Your wide receivers are awesome. Really good. We got three very good awesome receivers with McLaurin, John Dotson and then Curtis Samuel, who's the rare guy that like gets brought over by a former coach of his, brings him with him to town and then spends the first year and a half completely injured. But your coach is like, no, trust me, when this guy's healthy, he'll be good. Now he's

healthy. And he's fucking amazing. Yeah. And Antonio Gibson, I guess, remember how to hold on to the football now? Yeah. So he's good. And I just found out we're going to get Brian Robinson back from being shot twice in the leg in week five. So everything's hard. Yeah. That's a he's missed. He's missing as much time from getting shot twice as Dak Prescott is missing from accidentally high fiving the Tampa Bay Buccaneer. That's hard. It is hard. That is like, that's hard. I almost said something really stupid. Okay. All right. Well, do you want to say it? If the commander's win the Super Bowl, I'll get shot in my leg. Okay. Awesome. I will, I will shoot you. Yeah. Okay. I shouldn't have said that. I knew I don't know. You can't veto that. He just said it. You want to

get shot? No, he's not going to win the Super Bowl. If this year this year has to be this year, he's going to have the guns and you're going to be like, Jake, you should have done that video. No, he's going to win us. If the okay, let's all right. If the Bears win the Super Bowl, I'll also get shot. What caliber? Okay, 20, 22. I'm not letting you in the leg. 0.177. What did you guys get so soft over there? It's crazy. Are you talking about two teams? If the Patriots win the Super Bowl, I'll get fucking shot. All right, let's go. Billy, Jets. Jets wins the Super Bowl. And Jake has to do it. Only if Jake does it. No, because this team might actually win the Super Bowl. Jake, Dolphins win the Super Bowl. You get

shot? No. Okay. I'm soft. All right. So there's no chance. No, I know. 0% chance. I'm not going to say it. That the commanders or the Bears win the Super Bowl. And if they do, I would be happy to get shot in the leg. Like the fleshy part of the thigh. Just this year though. Only this year. I'll do my ass. This is a Sopranos episode. And it worked out fine for that guy. He got all the street credit in the world. I mean, if we're doing all this shit right now, I already have my pinkie team, which I shouldn't do. It's the Cardinals. They're not winning the Super Bowl. Yeah, they're not. The Cardinals are not winning the Super Bowl. They're definitely not. That is my pinkie team. Oh, my God. I mean, the FD fucking... They're definitely not. He got me

worked up. I did kind of one up the pinkie with the ass shot. Yeah, but no, the Cardinals are my pinkie team. Let's, let's shoot shot in the ass because then there's no... That's fine. No, no, no, no. The shot in the ass makes sense for the commanders. Big Cat does have his pinkie team. And I also will get shot in the ass of the Bears win the Super Bowl this year. All of Jake shoot me with a bow and arrow. That sounds actually really dangerous. Wait, super dangerous. Compound bow? Wait, but then you have to pull it out. You have to pull it out. If the Jets win the Super Bowl, we get to light you on fire.

Come on. Fireman Ed, he fell down. Deal. Yeah. All right. I'll fire too. Okay. All right. Basically turning it to Jackass. No, it's not. No way more dangerous. Yeah. This is actually just a snuff film that's disguised as a sports podcast. Should I take back mine for the pinkie team? No, no. Okay. All right. Well, no. Well, no, to be fair, Big Cat.

I always waited until week two. It's week two and a team has to be... Wait, who do the Cardinals play next week? They play the Raiders. Raiders next week. And is it... Maybe that's the... Is it a double extra point for Activision next weekend? Yeah. Yeah. So this week there is double XP. Yeah. Is it also next week?

Usually just drop it randomly. Okay. What is that? You get more points for playing Warzone that weekend. Oh. Oh, so, okay. Maybe that's just the... You know what? That will be the pinkie bowl. Okay. Whichever team loses is my pinkie team because they have to be 0 and 2. That's fair. Raiders Cardinals is the pinkie bowl. The loser of that game is officially my pinkie.

And if anyone knows... And I'm rooting for the Cardinals to lose because they're not winning the Super Bowl. If anyone has a suggestion for a comfortable bullet to get shot in the leg with, please let me know. 0.177 pellet gun. That's a nice one. Okay. I'm up for the shot in the ass if the Bears win the Super Bowl. I'm a big storyline guy. Pellet gun doesn't count.

No, it's gotta be a gun. Yeah. Like I want... You're doing like serious... Like I want one where if you get caught doing it, you go to jail for attempted murder. Correct. This is actually how we can get Billy off the podcast. Yeah. Billy... No, but Billy would actually try to kill us.

That's true. I'm a big storyline guy. The last two years in the Super Bowl, the team who plays in that stadium played in the Super Bowl. And where's Arizona? Arizona. I don't give a fuck. They're not winning the Super Bowl. That team sucks.

Watson 20-20, Rams 21. All right. Well, I'll leave it up to whoever loses that game. It's Raiders of the Cardinals. That's officially what it is. I think that's fair. That's... Those are two teams that were... Have been talked about and they've been talked about in Super Bowl fashion or whatever the fuck you want to call it.

All right. Okay. Oh, Jaguar's commanders. That got sidetracked for a second. I want... The only other thing I had about this game... I don't think it did. That's all completely relevant. Yeah. No, I just couldn't remember what game we were on.

The only other thing that Jaguar's... I don't think Trevor Lawrence sucks. I just... There's like four or five times a game where he looks so confused that it looks like he's never played football. So he might not completely suck, but he definitely makes throws that only a quarterback that kind of sucked would make. He has... He's got flashes where occasionally he'll make an NFL throw, but then he'll under throw somebody by like three yards or four yards.

That's like wide open and sometimes he looks a little bit lost out there. He looks panicked. Yeah. Like he'll like turn around and he'll just be panicking and you're like, hey dude, it's like he almost looks like a dog wearing the snow boots where they're like trying to fucking... I don't know. There's something about it. I don't...

I do not think he sucks, but I'm worried about the four or five times where I'm like, what is he doing right now? I miss Urban Meyer. I'll just say it. Yeah, I mean the Jaguars are... I miss Urban. I don't think that a kicker would miss a 37 yarder if there was a possibility that he might get kicked by his head go chaff.

Or a finger up his butt. Yeah. Or a finger up his wife's butt. Yeah, that's true. That always hung out out there. And the Jaguars... This is why I always preach making sure that your first round draft picks get injured. So then you can just delay the first round draft pick nature of it.

They had three current first round draft picks on the field today with Etienne making his debut. He was awesome. Yeah, he was. He didn't have great stats, but he looked explosive. Trayvon Walker made the pick that was sick. He was all over the place.

And then Devin Lloyd, who they also drafted in the first round this year, had like 11 tackles. So they... This is... If I was running a team, I would... Sam Hinky kind of did it, but he has to do it all the way where I would just keep drafting. And every year I'd make every single first round draft pick, sit out until like six years accumulated them,

and then have them all play at once. Yeah. And then they'd be super... I mean, Etienne I think is going to be an electric player this year. I think one thing I haven't really noticed until watching Carson Wentz as my guy about his game is that he is really, really top tier in the NFL. I mean, like elite level at flailing his body when he gets hit a little bit late in the pocket. Oh, yeah.

Like he's got his arms and legs going in every direction possible. He'll flip over like 180 degrees onto his side if you just so much as breathe on him. And there's some quarterbacks that are not good at that. Like Joe Burrow is one where I think Joe Burrow actually, he's almost too tough sometimes. Yeah. Where when he gets hit late, he's still fighting. And so he doesn't really do the flail helpless thing.

So he doesn't get as many flags as other quarterbacks do. I think Carson Wentz is going to draw every possible flag on a late hit, because like you touch him on the side of his helmet and he's going to act like JFK. Yeah. It's pretty good what he does. And it's annoying when he does it, it's funny when James does it. Yes. And Carson Wentz, winking at the camera,

just do swag down your spine. Like I saw that. That was swag. And I wanted to call the cops. That was swag. Like a restless man. No. He's a pet.

No. You know what, I saw that. I go, you know what? That's him. That's him. It was so, he heeded that wink. No. He, oh God.

Everything that Carson Wentz does feels forced, including his throws into traffic. Yeah. Like he just does everything he does is forced. Yeah. The wink was, it was bad. It was so bad. But I have no choice but to actually say it's great.

Yeah. And just ride with it. Yeah. No, I understand what you have to do. All right. And then he did also, he did like the first down with just two fingers. It was tough. Oh man.

America lubricated on that one. Let's just say this. I understand why everywhere Carson Wentz goes, everyone in the locker room hates him. Yeah. It makes perfect sense. I mean, I hate him. I do hate him.

I never met him. But I don't like him. Don't get me wrong. I hate him. But I think I also have to love the fact. Yeah, I hate him. You're on the roller coaster. And shout out to LSU, their football account retweeted when I tweeted,

I fucking hate Carson Wentz after his second consecutive interception. Whoever runs that account, I hope they don't get in trouble. But for a while, my replies were just filled with people like, what does this have to do with LSU football? Yeah. It has everything to do with LSU football. Yeah, of course. Carson Wentz transcends any sort of personal brand.

Carson, everyone should fucking hate Carson Wentz. Yeah, he's the one like unifying thing in football. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Speaking of Carson Wentz, his old team, Eagles 38, Lions 35. We're going to, Max, you're going to have to talk a little bit in this, because I do want to hear from you.

But this was, I don't know what like the Lions, are the Lions just going to be this team forever? Because they just started the season and they're the exact same team in that they aren't very good and they just keep fighting. I guess they still just need to like have a couple more drafts. But I saw the stat. The Lions have won. The Lions have won.

Jake's getting dehydrated over there. Three out of their last 18 games, they've covered 12 out of 18 of those. Yeah. So here's the thing. It's insane. Here's the thing about the Lions. This Lions team is good enough to lose to any team in the NFL by three points. And I mean any team, I mean like they could lose the Jaguars by three points.

They could lose on the other hand to the Eagles or to the Buccaneers or to the Rams or to the Packers or to the Bills by three points. It would not surprise. I think they would lose. They should lose to every team by exactly three points. No give or take on that one. But they are going to be, this is a much better version of the Lions than we've seen in the past. Right.

Where they're not ever going to be sad and blown out by somebody. I don't think even when they do get blown out, they'll score a couple late touchdowns and make it look like less of a blowout than it really was. But so that's, I think the issue with today was Dan Campbell has to adjust to the fact that maybe his team's a little bit better than last year. Because the onside kick was a last year move that they didn't need to do this year. Yeah, they were, the Eagles were kind of doing whatever they wanted on the ground and like throw, you know, A.J. Brown had like 150 yards.

But Dan Campbell onside kick in the third quarter when the Lions cut it to a 10 point game. So it was 31-21, he onside kicked, they didn't get it. The Eagles scored a touchdown two minutes later, 38-21. The Eagles win with 38 points. Like he, and he was asked after, he's like, yeah, we wanted the ball back. I get that. That makes sense, Dan Campbell. But like this isn't, you shouldn't treat, the Lions can't treat every game like they are

an FCS team trying to win in the big house. You know what I mean? I get it. I think that sometimes Dan has these phases that he gets into where, or moments in time, where he's like, it's time to gamble if you want to win this game. Right. And that's not always the smart move. It might be better than that.

They might not need the gamble. I mean, I think they were going to lose anyway, because again, it felt like the Eagles were comfortably, you know, in control. He gets these moments that he finds himself in where he's like, now's the time where I have to make a winning decision and get aggressive with it. But he doesn't understand that that's not necessarily how you actually end up winning. Yeah. He's like, he gets to a fork in the road at every game.

He's like, now's the time to be man Campbell. Yeah. Well, last year they went for it on foot down. I respect it. Now that I'm talking about it, like who, that's an inner gambler of me. Like Dan Campbell. I am Dan Campbell. Dan Campbell is me.

So game of the year week two. But you also like no disrespect. You lost a lot of games this week. Right. I know. So like Dan Campbell. No, I know we're the same guy. You know, we lost a lot of games too.

So maybe he needs to maybe just focus a little bit more on winning activities. We should just switch roles. Freaky Friday. I'll coach the Lions. He can just gamble with my money. He also needs to remember that he has, he has statistically the best punter in the history of the NFL in his team. Yeah. People don't talk about Jack Fox enough.

I think we need to respect Jack Fox. I actually think I talk about Jack Fox. No, we. Perfect amount. I don't think we've discussed him one bit. What I just said. But he has the highest net punting average and gross punting average in the history of the NFL. People that qualify with enough punts.

So that's all we will ever say about Jack Fox on this program. Yeah, that was enough Jack Fox. But we respect him. Yeah. So if anyone ever asks, why don't you talk about Jack Fox? Just point them to September 12th, like, I don't know, 45 minutes into the podcast. The Jack Fox Appreciation Podcast. And the moment is over.

Yeah. So Max, your Eagles look pretty good. I have a question about Siriani. Okay. So Siriani after the game, he was like whooping it up with the Eagles. Actually, there's like 30 seconds left. He's whooping it up with the Eagles fans sitting front row. It was very like college football coach, like we're going to the Rose Bowl field to it.

It's week one against the Lions. What was up with that? Uh, I mean, Siriani has done like a lot of very cringey things since he's gotten here. So it's like, I'm not really surprised by anything that he does anymore. Right. Like that's just who he is. It's like a lot for week. Yeah.

Well, yeah. I mean, everything he does is a lot. And he went to the playoffs last year. It's not like his first ever win. Doesn't. Yeah. But like I said, nothing surprised me with him as far as like pandering to the fans, because that's just all he does.

Right. He's just pander, pander, pander. But he's shown to be a pretty good coach. So at this point, if he keeps winning games, then I don't really give a fuck about that. What about the defense? 35 points. So a lot of points. Yeah.

Started off slow, came back and stopped Jared though. Yeah, that's true. Oh yeah. No, that's fine. You don't even have to say anything because yeah, it was Jared Goff. He's fucking awesome. He went to a Super Bowl. I think that Dan Campbell is going to have a problem because he's so emotional of a guy.

Like leading into every single week, he's got to just wear his heart on his sleeve the entire week. And then when you get to game day, he's super emotional. Yeah. And then by that point, you're kind of drained. Maybe as a team, he needs to figure out a way to just like turn his entire what was a part of your brain that controls your emotions. He needs to turn into like a psychopath during the week that doesn't have emotions.

Yeah. And then just like finally let things out on Sunday because at some point, you just like tune out the over the top like passion that anybody had. I don't think that you can like, you can't get it up for that long, that consistently when it comes to somebody's emotions. Eventually it has to tie down. Right. Yeah.

You have to kind of step on the gas and then let up and just let your team the ebbs and flows. Yeah. I just, I think the Lions are friskier than last year so that Dan Campbell doesn't have to onside kick in the third quarters. And the Eagles, AJ Brown is awesome. I am a little worried about like, that's a weird defensive performance to start, especially considering like it's been a lot of talk about their defense. But, and one last thing with the Eagles, Nick Serrani did say that he thought Jalen

Hertz played like an outstanding game and he had control of it from start to finish. And while he did have a good game and he didn't make any mistakes, he was like 18 for 32. He wasn't incredible. So I don't know where the ceiling that he expects for Jalen Hertz. 18 for 32 is pretty good though. Yeah. Like Jalen Hertz a couple years ago, he was coming into the NFL. It was like very much a question whether or not he could start a game in the NFL.

Well, no. So I guess the question is like, does he? 18 for 32 is not that good. It's okay. It's not bad though. But that was my point. He's like, that's okay for Jalen Hertz, but where Jalen Hertz, if he's like phenomenal, I think the Eagles team can win the Super Bowl.

Yeah. So, but he was talking like he was phenomenal. I don't know where that line goes. Right. And he was not phenomenal today, but 18 for 32 for Jalen Hertz. And he also had nine yards rush. I was going to say, if he's doing stuff with his legs, then yes, that can be a phenomenal performer.

It's like Jalen Hertz is not going to be a guy that throws like 75% completion percentage. No, but he didn't have any touchdown pass. He didn't make any big mistakes. And I do think that it, Siriani deserves credit for figuring out a way to like get the most out of them, especially running the football. Yeah. So next week, they've got the commanders at home. Guess who's spread is it anyways?

Whose lines is it anyways? What we're doing this year. It's sponsored. What's it sponsored by? It's sponsored by Drew Carey. Drew Carey. Okay. They have the Vikings on Monday night football.

Oh, okay. So you're, I was hypothetical. You've been a week off with every football game. I have. Do you know what the date is? Because you were talking, you were talking up your JMU versus app state game next week. That is their next game that I have on the schedule there. So does the commanders have a week to buy?

We're missing. Wait, no, they are playing next Sunday. Oh, no. Retract that Max. I'm seeing Vikings at Eagles Monday, September 19th. Oh, no. I'm seeing. What the fuck are you guys looking at?

I'm seeing commanders. What are you guys looking at? No, no, I'm talking about the Lions. I was saying the Lions game. Oh. I was saying the Lions are hosting the commanders next week. True. Did anyone else think that he was talking about the Eagles?

I think he was talking about the Eagles. Because we were talking about the Eagles. I was talking about the commander. I don't think I said the Eagle. No, but we were talking about Nick Seriani and Jalen Hurts. And you're like, so the commanders are playing. We'll have to play that back. I don't know if you said Eagles.

I'm not sure. We'll never know. Yeah. We'll never know. Guess who spreads it anyway. All right. Commanders at Lions. Sorry, I won't look.

I won't look. Commanders at Lions. I'd like to apologize to you, Max. Would you like to apologize to me? I would also like to apologize. Double apology. I'm going to say commanders minus one and a half. Lions by one.

Lions are favored next week. OK. Whoa. Could they get the big win? Well, I think it's going to be commanders one by three points. OK. I think the Lions are just going to lose by three points. To everyone.

To everyone. All season long. All right. Next up, Bears are also 1-0. Bears, 19-9ers, 10. Welcome to the club. Feels good. Crazy weather game.

Crazy to have that weather game this early in the year. The field looked like shit. The guy's sliding in the end zone was awesome. Those pictures were sick. Yep. I was very happy. I'm happy. I don't think the Bears are going to be great.

I know they're not going to be great, but I'm happy because I went into this season being like they're going to be frisky and beating a team like the Niners at 7.00 underdogs is a very frisky move. That's nice of our friend Greg Kittle to sit out this week. Yeah. And Elijah Mitchell to get hurt again.

RIP to Soldier Field. Yeah. I think that's probably a record time for how quickly it gets damaged for the rest of the season. It was. It's bad. It's going to be bad. It's really, really bad.

And yeah. I was just, I don't know. I didn't think that was actually the best part about that game. Well, there's two parts that I loved is that, one, I was having all first half is Justin Fields, like what's going on. He made some big plays in the second half, especially when he threw the Dante Pettis touchdown

where he like rolled out of the pocket, hit him down the sideline when he got free. And then two, Matt Everfluse, like Matt Nagy loses that game 20 to nothing. And I don't want to compare him to the last guy, but the Bears came out and they actually fought back and they played like disciplined defense. I had no penalties in the second half.

They did the right things, forced some turnovers. I was very happy. They're frisky. On the other side of the ball, I feel like this, we might, we might get started with the Jimmy G talk, sooner rather than later, because Trey Lance did not look good at all today. That game can't be decided though,

because of weather. Right. Weather was so crazy. Right. The weather was bad, but also Trey Lance made some pretty bad plays. Yeah, he did. He looked in way over his head.

The Eddie Jackson pitch. That's the dangers that you're going to have when you, when you re-sign Jimmy G to that new structured contract and you just have him kind of like lurking over your young quarterback's shoulder. Like that conversation is going to happen if you go on the road and lose the Bears

in like a disgusting manner week one. And obviously the Bears did good things. Like Justin Fields did look good. No, his second half was, he was abysmal in the first half. He was three for nine, 19 yards in an interception. That was when I was like, this is going to be a way longer season than I thought.

And then he made, like Justin Fields made, he did the thing that he did in Ohio State where it's like, hey, I'm going to use my feet to open up the pass, not just, you know, tuck it and run. Like he's, he's extending the play to then make the big play, not, I'm going to just try to run the ball

at first sight of, of, of issues. The thing that I saw that was a little bit different about Justin Fields this year was that he didn't look panicked all the time. Yeah, right. Like the game definitely slowed down form a little bit. Don't say that. That's a trigger.

Why? Because he said that last year in the preseason. Oh, well, the game, like the game's super slow for me. And then he, I think it slowed down. Like if you watched him last year, he looked terrified. Yeah.

He looked like he was thinking through. Well, that Brown's game, everything that he was doing. Yeah. He was thinking every single step that he made, every time he would like turn his head, it was like there was a smaller Justin Fields inside of Justin Fields moving him around like a robot.

In this game today, it looked like he was having fun playing football, like, like a normal human being should. Yes. At this level. So he looked good. Also, Debo is just still fucking amazing. He's awesome.

Debo at some point, Kyle Shanahan should have just been like, Hey, let's just give the ball to Debo every play and tell him to run into somebody's face because it's awesome when he does that. And like, Hey, Debo, I'm sorry that we ever had any contract issues. You should have had everything.

But I, I, I'm not going to take too much away from the fact. Like both Trey Lance and Justin Fields, those conditions were horrendous. It is funny because there's obviously all the talk about them moving to Arlington Heights and getting a dome. And this was like, this was score one for bear weather. Like the bears don't win this game probably if we don't have that weather and shit just doesn't fall.

Doesn't fall apart and Trey Lance looks like shit in the second half. Kurt Warner hated this game. Hated this game. But I'm, I am happy. I'm happy. I don't have any complaints. I wonder that Eberfluss looks like he had,

like I said before, I think I said it a couple of weeks ago, like looks like they're doing the little things that make them seem like a competent team. Yep. And if you do the little things, you can be frisky even though you don't have great talent. You can beat a team any given Sunday.

Yeah. So congratulations on being one. Thank you. Congratulations to you. There's nothing to be ashamed of no matter who you are. If your team goes one or no, great job. Yeah. 0-1 teams, different story.

Also one last stat. 30 teams since 1999 have won a game while missing two extra points or more. The Bucks in 2020 did that. So they're one of the teams and the bears did that today. So incredible. Super Bowl. They missed two extra points today.

Yeah. Cairo Santos missed two extra points. I mean, he couldn't, he couldn't plan. Like it was. Oh, I saw that. It was insane. They got a penalty for drying off the field. Yeah.

They brought a little hand towel out to dry down the spot. It was crazy. And Eddie Jackson might be back. So yeah, everything. No complaints from me. Happy, happy, happy. Trey Lentz is definitely looking over your shoulder. Yeah.

Oh, we forgot to mention it earlier when we were talking about the Dolphins game. The row of cars that just burned down as the game went on. So somebody like left a hot grill on next to some cars. And then you come out and you see like your car has just been lit on fire and it's completely burned out. Was it a man cooking hot dogs? Someone had left a grill on inside the truck of a car.

Was it, was somebody cooking like a slab of ribs at a very high temperature? Like very, very high temperature? Oh, hmm. As your Frank started that whole fire. It's in the funniest thing ever. It's not, it's not unfathomable. It's, it's possible.

It wasn't Frank. But if it were, I wouldn't be like, oh my god. No, no, it wasn't Frank. We don't know that it was Frank. I don't think he has a car down there. Yes, he does. Does with dogs? Yeah.

I think he has a grill down there. They did. Well, I'm just saying it's a non-zero chance that Frank Fleming burned off an entire row of cars. If they, if it came out that it was him actually. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah.

I don't think there's, I don't think there's a jury in the world that wouldn't convict him either. No. All right. We don't know. We don't know. The water was so great. God.

What would Frank Fleming call himself if, if he watched, if he was like a fan of Frank Fleming and found out that he burned down a row of cars? What do you mean? Like, oh, what pun? Frank Fleming. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. He'd be like, he did it again. Frank Fleming. Frank Fleming. Yeah. Another, another car burned down. Another, another fire in the parking lot. My Frank Fleming.

He did it again. All right. Saints Falcons. So, let me do, let me do a quick add and then we'll do Saints Falcons. DeZone. This weekend, I'll be in Vegas. It's fight season on DeZone.

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I will be there. Dave, Robbie, Caleb, Roan. We're all going to be on the call. You can get the pay-per-view and listen to me live from Las Vegas at DeZone.com. Stream the fight live only on DeZone. Download the DeZone app or visit DAZN.com. Again, I will be there live calling the fight.

DeZone.com, DAZN.com. Check it out and we'll see everyone on Saturday night. This Saturday night, this Saturday night. What's the date, September 17th? DAZN.com for Canelo Alvarez versus Triple G trilogy. Okay, Saints Falcons. James, 16-point comeback in the fourth quarter. I fucking love him.

He said he has pain everywhere because he went in the tent at some point. He's the, he's the opposite of Jerry Jones. He's, he's basically doing hockey injuries, pain everywhere. It was, James being back makes me so happy. And this was just the same old Falcons. Yeah. James has quote after the game.

They asked him, your heart rate come down yet? He goes, my heart rate was smooth the whole way. I love it. I believe it. He's got the guts of a cap burglar. James Winston is, he's so, a crab burglar. James Winston is so fun. And I think he's really like come out of his shell too.

That's another crab pun, but he's really come out of his shell a little bit the last like, I don't know, six, eight months since, since he's been training this off season. His podcast is legitimately hilarious. Yeah. He is, if James Winston, there are very few athletes that I would say could step behind a mic right now and immediately take us out. I think if James Winston did like a full-time NFL podcast, we're fucked.

I want him on the show. We might as well hang it up because he's laugh out loud, funny. And I'm talking like unintentionally and intentionally as well. He's got it both. He's got it both. He's got everything going on. Michael Thomas is back today, officially back. Crazy.

He had a huge game. If you had asked me before the season like, is Michael Thomas going to play a snap? I'd say probably not. And probably still figure out a way to get paid. Yeah. He's still, he's happy. He's out there playing.

Chris Alavi made a couple nice catches. Jarvis Landry. Jarvis Landry, awesome player. Yeah. He was, he made the 40 yard catch down the sideline. James got flagged for an intentional grounding that was, what was the exact penalty? He, well, I know exactly what he did.

It looked like a spike or something. Yeah. So it was intentional grounding on a spike. And do you know why that happened? It actually is totally understandable why James did that. He thought Jarvis Landry had gone out or had been in bounds. He had actually gone out of bounds. I didn't realize if you spike on a dead clock,

that's intentional grounding. Okay. I didn't know that was what happened. Okay. So yeah. So the clock wasn't moving. He spiked it intentional grounding. You learned something new every day.

Yeah. It was crazy. So he, that was a crazy pass. I don't know why the Saints, like the Saints, as soon as they started running tempo, they, they erased that leap. Like they were down 16 points in the, I think it was 16 in the fourth quarter, right?

I think it was 17. Yeah. In the fourth quarter, maybe 16. And they went tempo and James started slinging it and guys started making plays and the Falcons are the Falcons. So this is now the, since 2020, there have been three times that the Falcons have blown a 15 plus point lead in the entire rest of the NFL.

There's only two other times that's happened. Yeah. I want to create some sort of computer betting program that whenever the wind probability hits 90% for the Falcons, you take the live bet on the other side. Yeah. I'm sure that it would be enormously profitable. And I don't want to shit on the Falcons totally because,

I like Marcus Mariota. Well, I was going to say Marcus Mariota, competent, uh, Quirelle Patterson, still awesome. I had like 130 yards, uh, both rushing and receiving. And our friend Arthur Smith actually said, well, actually he gave us permission to bury them. So we could do that if we wanted to. He said, you guys wrote our obituary back in May.

You'll continue to write our obituary. Who cares? So if he doesn't care, they're dead. They stink. They're, they're not good. I'm just giving this for him so he can motivate himself. They're not, I'm rooting for Arthur Smith. We're just giving Bolton board material.

Like you really thought that like Marcus Mariota as you're starting quarterback was going to be the answer this year. Like, like you're going to be a good team. Hey Arthur, what, what point lead would you say is safe? Like Arthur, how many times can you force the ball to Kyle Pitts in a game and expect it to turn out well? Hey Arthur, can you even name three players in your defense? Yeah.

No. We're just saying this to get Arthur Smith motivated. Because you told us to write your obituary. Yeah. Hey Arthur, why don't you go, why don't you go to London right now and just lay down next to Lizzie because you're dead. Hey Arthur, have you, have you ever seen a more scared kicker than Young Way Koo today?

Oh, dude, we got to talk about Marcus Lattimore. Could have been the worst penalty of all time. For people who didn't watch the game, the game was over and Marcus Lattimore just body slammed a Falcon player and they just like, oh, that's 15 yards. Now you can, now the Falcons are close enough to attempt a, I was like a 65 yard field goal. But they were literally on, the game was over.

They were on their own 40 and he just body slams a guy after the play and they're like, hey, 15 yards, Young Way, go give it a shot. So what are the rules on that? How long does the game have to be over for a body slam to not extend the play by one or the game by one on time down? I think there might have been a second left. But even if, even if not.

I think it was at zero, but like the ball had just like landed on the ground. Right. And so it's one of those gray areas where it's like, it felt like it was part of the play. So we're going to throw a flag on the play. But if it's in like the handshake line right afterwards, you can't throw a flag on that and bring the team back out.

Right. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. That would have been a ball. You can do anything. That would have been one of the like all-time Falcons things by the Saints. Right.

Yeah. I was losing my mind. It was like, I think they just blew the game. The Falcons. Yeah. He just threw them there. So yeah, the Saints, they're also, I like how the Saints, the Saints feel like they take rivalries.

Like they respect rivalries by disrespecting the other team. Like there was a player on the Saints who had the Falcons flag. He was, he brought it to his press conference. They were like clowning them after. I feel like the Saints always do this with the, whether it be the Bucks, the Panthers or like the Saints, respect rivalries by being super disrespectful to their rivals. Yeah.

And then therefore enhancing the rivalry. I think it's mostly against the Falcons. Yeah. Like those, those are two teams that like actually hit each other. Yeah, they do. And the fan base is legitimately hit each other. Correct. Correct.

I like it though. It's to the point where there were some like Katrina charities that got set up back in like 2005 and even some Falcons fans were like, fuck this. Yeah. Like as a Falcons fan, no. Yeah, they'll take it so seriously where it's like, no, I'm not even going to get involved in that.

Those are Saints fans. Yeah, right. You know, like which, which is fucked up, but also part of what makes the rivalry better down the line. Like I get it. Yeah. And I like that the Saints, like this is week one. Yeah.

Because we have, we have so many games to go and they're like, no, fuck this. We're going to run it up on them. I mean, but the Falcons, God damn it. Again, in the last, in the last two seasons, there have been five total times that a team has blown a 15 point plus lead, three out of five of them have been the Falcons. That's.

It's on brand. It's so on brand and they're dead. Arthur Smith, you're dead. He's dead and your name's Arthur, which is kind of a beta name. King Arthur. But again, we're just doing this to give you that bulletin board. Correct.

Correct. You're dead. Yeah. Your owner. Your owner definitely is thinking some thoughts. Yeah. Right now. Just motivation.

Arthur, because you're dead, I wouldn't do open casket with your chin or lack thereof. There you go. So that's it. We buried it. Hank didn't like that. No, those. Is that on the line? It's like you motherfucker.

We don't make chin jokes. Yeah. No, we actually like Arthur Smith a lot and we want the Falcons to do well, but you told us to bury you. So we had to bury you. If you asked Young Way Cuda Light Show on fire, he'd probably missed with a match. Yeah, he definitely would.

Maybe cremation is not in the cards either. All right. Brown's Panthers, the Baker revenge game. Oh, no, sorry. Raven's Jets, the game that we didn't see any highlights from. Yeah, I was kind of disappointed with this one because I was hoping for a couple of good Flacco highlights. All we got was a pick,

which the tight end ran the wrong route. On the pick, I went back. I watched the tape. It was they ran the stick instead of the out and Joe Flacco put the ball where it should have been. Let me ask you. And we talked about what a veteran ball he throws, right? That's what they were saying about Joe Flacco.

Veteran ball turns out that translates to the defense too. Well, let me catch it very easily. Let me ask you a question. He does throw a veteran ball. If you were the Jets going into this game, how many veteran balls would you want Flacco to throw to win the game? I would want like attempted veteran balls. Yeah, yeah, attempted veteran balls.

I would want him to throw 28 veteran balls. Oh, you were close. He attempted 59 veteran balls. That's a lot of veteran balls. 59 veteran balls. Yeah, a couple of those balls are going to end up in veteran hands. I saw, I was looking through the box,

I was like, he threw 59 passes. Like that couldn't have been part of the game plan. He's got to be so sore right now. So sore. How old is he, like 40? That's so many pass attempts for Joe Flacco. I feel bad for Joe Flacco, honestly. He actually ended up having 300 yards.

He had 307 yards. He went 37 for 59. That's insane. Yeah, I mean, that's the lead right there. Joe Flacco completes 37 veteran balls. Yeah, on 59 veteran pass attempts. Billy. So we didn't, this game literally was like never on red zone

because Lamar was just throwing deep bombs. Like Lamar, the surprising part of this game was the Ravens weren't able to run the ball and Lamar had to do it with his arm and he did it. But you watched the entire game, so tell us. It was kind of like the first game last season. The defense kind of looked good. It's just the offense couldn't get anything going

and it just kind of stacked up. Were they hitting? They were hitting. I mean, gangrene tackles. Yeah. They always bring the heat, but they underutilized Brax and Berrios. There wasn't much screen game.

They were going downfield with it, but I think there was a lot more they could do to utilize their weapons. And Flacco did what he could, but just could never get together. Okay. So, and now here, that was actually a very good recap from the Jets side.

Here is Billy's real recap as I walked by him around like five o'clock. I was like, ooh, the Jets stink again. And he just goes, I think we're going to beat Hank in the Patriots. So that's where he's at. We could just beat the Patriots. That was where he's already at that point

where it's like, we just got to win one of these two games. And I said, you're going to the playoffs week one last year. Yeah. Hey, you know what? You can dream. So you have to dream.

How many more games of Flacco do you get? If they do the Patriots, can I shoot you in the leg? If the Jets win the Super Royce, they're going to be the Patriots. Oh, no, is that you accept this? How about if the Jets beat the Patriots, if the Jets sweep the Patriots this year,

you get to shoot them with like a BB gun. Okay. I'll do BB gun. Yeah. That's fair. In the ass. Yeah. So they got to sweep them.

Sweep. Yep. Yep. But if the... No. A day, a red rider. That's reverse. It should be the other way around.

No, Billy's saying he'll take the pain. No, I know. But if you sweep the Patriots, we should get to shoot him. We'll do a daisy red rider. But Billy's doing like, this is his offer to the guys. Yeah, right. If you favor the two wins, then I will take a shot.

I mean, sweeping the Jets, that's expected. There is no offer. I don't need to talk to God about anything. You should get to shoot Billy in the ass either way. Did your ex... If there's a sweep either way. Do you think you'll beat the Jets both times? All right.

So your Billy's expectations have raised a little, and yours have not changed. Like, you haven't lowered yourself to Billy. Yeah, I mean, the Jets. Well, the thing is, Flacco in the driver's seat now, I think they are going to improve. And that offensive flow. Yeah.

Yeah. Like... A lot of reps. When you just say Flacco in the driver's seat, it does sound like he's got it all under control. It is a minivan, right? Yeah, it's a minivan. With like seven kids in the back.

Did you see that clip of him talking about his... Flacco doesn't want to be playing. No, he does not. He's like, I signed up to be a backup. Dude, did he change his number to 19? He doesn't want to play. Yeah, no. There's a clip of him talking about how his kids think he sucks.

He's been number five his entire career. Right. When you end up taking a secondary number that's over 10 digits away from your primary number, that you've been your entire career, that's just like, I'm here to get paid. It's a cry for help. It's like the, what would you tweet if you were kidnapped?

Joe Flacco, what would your number be if you were kidnapped? 19. Yeah, no, he would... Someone saved me. He doesn't want to be out there playing. No, he wants to be a backup and not have to do anything. Yeah. Which I respect.

He didn't look awful, awful today though. 59 attempts. He looked okay. He looked about what you'd expect for Joe Flacco. Yeah. Here's a fun fact, which I didn't realize. Do you remember the Ravens lost to their last six games last year? I forgot about that because they won all their pre-season games.

Right. Yeah. And so this was technically, they broke their second longest losing streak as a franchise. Lamar had, he had an ankle issue. Yeah, humbly. Yeah, yeah, at the end of last year. And also butt issues that lingered for a while.

So his butt looked good today. But that's a testament to the Ravens that they lost their last six games, obviously because Lamar was out, but I still think they're a very good team. And I was Lamar being able to, like when Lamar can win from the pocket, throwing deep, that's scary.

He had some dimes. Yeah, that's very scary. I mean, Lamar is basically playing for ginormous amounts of money right now. Like every single game. Imagine if he gets fucking franchise tagged. That's what they said they'd do. He probably will get franchise tagged.

And then he might end up in a position where he gets franchise tagged a second time. And then I think I was reading that. That would be so disrespectful. If they do to him. That's what they did to Kirk Cousins. That's Lamar's model. Yeah, Lamar's better than Kirk.

Yeah, but Kirk Cousins gets paid like Lamar Jackson should be paid right now. Correct, correct. It wouldn't be, like there is a world where Lamar Jackson does get two consecutive franchise tags. And then I was reading, I think Florio was talking about how there's

a possibility that they could tag him in a different way a third time. But that year would be like $55 million guaranteed for one year. That would be an awesome, awesome paycheck to get. But that would be, there's very, it's rare that I would say, like it's obviously just a business

and this is how all NFL contracts work. But if they franchise Lamar Jackson, that is a slap in your face. Do you think that in the post game handshake, Lamar was like, hey Joe, you're real motherfucker because you stole that money from the Baltimore Ravens on your guaranteed money. And now they are afraid to pay me that

because they don't want to repeat of what happened to you. They're deathly afraid. They basically told me that I have to win a Super Bowl if I want to get paid. Yeah. And even still look at what happened last time. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I thought, you know,

I watched a couple of highlights afterwards because it was crazy. This, do you remember like more than four plays from this game? No. It was, they never showed. Lamar had a sick drop in the bucket pass. Yeah, no, he had a couple.

I watched a couple of the highlights and I was like, damn, Lamar was kind of slinging it. It was not on the Red Zone channels. No, it was just never on the Red Zone channel. Fireman Edd fell down. Yeah, that was bad. Fireman Edd, once you, if you're an adult and it makes news that you fell down,

you're about to die. You shouldn't be walking anymore. No, that's, that's like, because that really is just, they're implying like he fell down. But he's okay. He didn't break his hip this time. Yeah.

But it's coming. He fell down. He's all right. He's expected to fully recover. Right. Like a fall down. Yeah. I fall down all the time.

Mm-hmm. No, it's not news. Yeah. So, but he's fine, right? He continued on. Yeah. Why did the Jets just straight up accept Fireman Edd's return to the franchise?

It's the weirdest. If you hang up your whatever it was that he had as a fan, his hat, the Fireman hat. He said people were being mean to him. There's fans like trying to assault him. Yeah. It's kind of fair. When really they just had to wait out,

wait it out because you just assault himself by falling down. Yeah. I feel like Fireman, I don't want to victim blame, but I'm pretty sure that he, he picked his fair share of fights too. Oh yeah, for sure.

I wouldn't bet. I just don't know, I don't understand how a super fan, it takes a lot for me, for a super fan to renounce their fandom, and then to come back in a couple years. Well, Detroit Don and super fan kind of did that. Yeah, but if you're a Lions fan that's different.

Yeah, but they, I mean they didn't fully do it, but they were very disgusted. I, I think what you're trying to do right now is an impossible task. You're trying to get in the mind of a super fan. Yeah. They are just a special creature that should be left alone and looked at and,

you know, kind of applauded in our society. I agree. I, I'm wondering as the rest of the fan base, guys, do you accept Fireman Edge return? I think every super, I think every fan base has a super fan that you're just like, that's our crazy uncle. Like X Factor.

Like he's always part of it. Yeah, he's always part of the family. He's going to do weird shit. Remember X Factor? My kid arrested. X Factor's definitely in prison. I'm checking it. I'm checking it.

No, I, someone showed me he was doing a podcast. Yeah, from jail. It's like, it starts out like cereal. Yeah. Would you accept this collect call? Okay, so he's retired. X Factor? Yeah, because he's.

Right, he'll be back. The quote was, I was becoming a monster. Yeah. Right. No, he'll be back. He, he wants that monster. He's going to be like, I miss the monster, but that's what super fans do.

Whatever a super fan does, retire, change their look, anything like that. You're just going to be like, yeah, they're super fans. I love super fans. I love all of them. I'm just curious as a fellow fan of that team, if you're a Jets fan and Ed comes crawling back. It's crazy.

Like what's, what do you do? Does everybody just let him back in? Okay. You're welcome here. Yeah. Once a Jets fan, always a Jets fan. He does the J-E-T-S and then it's all good. Yeah.

It's all back together. Okay. So Jets over under wins, Billy. I'm still going with 6.5. I think they can pull it out. Okay. So you're saying what over or under 6.5? Over.

Over, okay. All right. Okay. Okay. Because you just said 6.5 wins. So a tie. Yeah. Okay, I got a six wins and a tie.

I'll count that. A push against, a push against the other team, which is a tie. Six and a one. Okay. Brown's Panthers, the Baker revenge game that actually like ended up being a fun game. It looked, Baker, we talked about Carson Wentz trying too hard.

Baker was trying way too hard at the beginning of the game. He's like, I'm going to score. I'm going to get a 50 point touchdown on the first play. And he sucked to start the game. I was thinking that Baker was trying so hard because he was just looking forward to the opportunity to talk shit after the game. Correct.

Like he wants to get to a point where he's able to talk that shit after the game. Right. And then after the game, they asked about it and he said he's just going to flush it. That's his strategy. We're just going to flush it and move forward. He's going to turn the page on it.

I don't know why everybody made it such a big deal of a game. That's what he said. But since the press and media did their thing, he's just going to ignore that and move on because Baker Mayfield definitely was not the one that made it a thing. Correct. And definitely had he won would have said this exact same thing

about just moving on from it. He also said it's 16 more games and the Super Bowls in February. So he knows the schedule. Yep. So that's good. He knows when the Super Bowls being played. He probably has plans. Yes.

Probably has sick parties going to. He's probably going to Mexico. The Browns though, first time they win week one since 2004. Incredible. Congrats to the Browns. I was thinking about it like what was happening in 2004. PFT and I were sophomores in college. Billy was five years old.

The crazy one. You want the wild one, Jake? Calvin Johnson was starting his freshman year at Georgia Tech and he's in the pro football hall of fame. That's how long it's been since the Browns have won week one of the NFL season. Larry Fitzgerald was still. He's not retired.

He was in college. Is he retired? He's going to be a senator. He's just never retired. He's just waiting for some senator to die so he can run a special election right now. Can you look him up? Did he retire officially?

No, no, he's not officially retired. He hasn't officially retired? No, he's said that he's done playing football but he has not filed the paperwork. Okay, so and then the Browns, I mean the Browns look exactly like the best version of the Browns minus obviously the quarterback. I mean, Jacobi Bresset is a nice placeholder

but they just ran the fuck out of the football. Jacobi Bresset is the guy that knows exactly what to do at any given time. Now he's not physically able to do the right thing but he knows what should be done. Like I bet he'd be an awesome Madden player. Yeah, he's a great coach. Great decision making, great coach

but then he's just not physically able to make really nice throws. He's got a crisp handoff. Yeah, right, he gets in the huddle with like three minutes left if they're down seven and he's like, all right guys, so I know we got to run tempo and score a touchdown. I'm not gonna be able to do that

but I do know that you should do that and he knows that. He knows the passes that should be made. He can't probably do all of them but he knows. He won't ever like seal a game with a touchdown but he'll take enough time off the clock and get them to a place in field position to pin them relatively deep on a punt and then let their defense go out there

and win the game. Right, exactly. That's what you get with Jacobi percent. Exactly. So the Browns, yeah, I mean that was, congrats to the Browns. Let's clap it up for the Browns. 2004 is a long ass time. Good job Browns fans.

That's a long ass time ago. The only other note that I had in this game was Matt Rule always kind of looks like he's staring at the sun. Yeah. He's just always got this like squint on his face and like he kind of curls up his mouth and looks confused. I think Matt Rule would be a great selection to go to Nebraska.

So Matt Rule was very upset and he actually kind of had a fair argument. I learned a lot about fake spikes today with or spikes today with James spiking and getting intentional grounding. Jacobi Berset actually had the flag thrown on him at the end of the game for his spike because he did kind of fake it. If you fake it, you can't then spike it.

That's intentional grounding, which makes sense. If you fake the spike, you can't re-spike it again. If you take a step back and like look down field and then try to spike it, that's intentional grounding. So they threw the flag. The rest convened. They picked up the flag. Matt Rule lost his shit.

I think he has a fair argument. But if you're the Panthers, don't you want the Panthers? If you're the Panthers fans, don't you want the Panthers to lose so Matt Rule gets fired? Yes. Right. So I think that's kind of a win-win. Was it Jacobi Berset that had a joint today with the pass?

He did. That was awesome. Yes. That's the best spike of all. That was awesome. It was like 10 yards out and he threw it maybe halfway up the upright and bounced it off it. That should be a live ball.

Yes. Actually, so there's arguments to be made on both sides whether or not it should be a live ball on a field goal attempt. I think on a pass attempt, if it hits the upright, that's a fumble. Yeah. And it can be advanced by either team. Yeah. Like imagine the chaos that would ensue from that.

Like a quarterback trying to spike it off the crossbar and then just everybody on the team diving on it in the end zone. Yeah, that would be great. In KD York, that was a sick kick. Rookie, LSU, 58 yarder to win the game. I'm happy. There's times when I'm worried because it feels like with Evan McPherson, KD York, Koo is actually a very good kicker.

There's times when I get worried that we have too many good kickers, but then we had so many missed field goals and extra points. It's like, no, we're good. Because that would suck. If everyone was Justin Tucker, the NFL would be born. It'd be very, very boring. Yeah, we need missed kicks. If you're a Browns fan, I think you're happy with the way things have turned out so far

that Baker is no longer on your team. You probably wish that things had, you probably wish that you had signed a non-sexual predator to the contract that you signed them to. Correct. But I think Baker can always be accepted by Browns fans as being a guy that helped change the Browns into a team that would miss that field goal at the end of this game and figure out a way to lose it.

The culture did change when Baker was there. Without a doubt. And he had a big part in it. So I don't think that they'll ever really, truly hate Baker Mayfield after. They'll just be like, he was good. He was an important part. The Baker years were a turning point, I think, for the Browns as a franchise and to being a team that lost 14 games a season to a team that will probably be hovering

around 500 for the next 10 years. To a team that has a roster good enough that they're going to take a risk on signing a sexual predator. Correct. That's bad. He was the bridge. He got you to the point where you're in, fuck it, risk it all. Yeah, right.

Exactly. He bridged you to that point. Yeah. I agree. The Baker clearly, I mean, he listens to everything. He comments on a lot of things. I do think he got a raw deal. Like he was hurt less.

He didn't do anything wrong. He tried his hardest for the Browns. He was hurt. He took them to the playoffs the first time in forever. Like if anyone should feel shitty about it, it's Baker. Like he's like, what the fuck? I was the franchise quarterback and then I wasn't. And then you signed the sexual predator.

He beat your biggest rival in the playoffs. That counts for something. But that's just also how the NFL works, that they wanted to move on. But I mean, it's also kind of shocking that the Browns made probably a smart business decision. Correct. Maybe that's the most crazy part of this whole thing. Correct. It's like, wait, you're the Browns.

You should be happy to just have a guy that's gotten you to a point where you're good enough to win a playoff game. They should give you a way too big contract extension and cripple the franchise for the next decade. Instead, they made probably a good football decision and moved on. That's very confusing for all of us to process. Yes. Browns Jets next week.

Whose line is the nine way? Where is it? It's in Cleveland, I believe. I'm going to say Browns by seven. It is in four and a half, six and a half. Browns, six and a half. There you go, Billy. One more thing on this game.

To your point earlier, I think as it stands right now, this four-some of AFC North kickers could be the greatest division of kickers ever. McPherson was unbelievable last year. Tucker Boswell. Tucker Boswell and Kade York. That's a good point. This could be every AFC North kickers. Yeah.

Okay. Let's rank the quarterbacks. Yeah, right. Let's rank the kickers. That's a good point. We should do a new ranking of the quarterbacks in the AFC North. I'm going to go Kenny Pickett first. Okay.

And then I'm going to go Lamar second. Okay. And then I'm going to go Huntley third. Okay. Burrow. Oh, shit. Yeah, that was way too low. That was 70 and oh shit moment.

No, I forgot about burrow. Okay, burrow one, picket two. Shit. Yeah, you're fucked. I don't want to do this anymore. Let's find a new division. We'll do it later. All right.

Let's go to, we'll speed through a couple of these games. I mean, the Colts Texans tie. I'm just saying it right now. The Texans won. That was a win for the Texans and a loss for the Colts. It's good for the Texans that they were able to be good enough to build up a 17-point lead. Correct. That counts for something.

And then hold a tie for a while. Well, they punted to win with a tie. Right. And the AFC South went winless today and two teams played each other. That's incredible. The Texans are in first place by half again. I think the Texans, they had an opportunity to, it was like fourth and one or fourth and two and they could have gone for it and maybe potentially ended up in field goal position.

But Lovey was like, listen, we're not going to win this game. Let's punt it and then pray that our defense holds and get the tie. So a tie. Yes. It's a win for the Texans. It looks pretty good. The Colts unfortunately, Billy, I don't think they even activated your guy. Sam Elendor.

Sam Elendor. He's, he's going to come out. Okay. Okay. All right. Yeah. Because Matt Ryan, I mean, he was, it was a bad start, but then he kind of, he figured it out. Comeback was nice.

Mills Mafia looked great. O.J. Howard on the Texans scored two touchdowns. Yep. Two, two catches, two touchdowns. That's efficiency, baby. But yeah, this game was like, okay, these guys deserve to tie. Yeah. They, it was, it had tie energy from like the fourth quarter on.

There were a few games that had that. I was hoping for multiple ties today, but Texans Colts just, something weird always happens when these teams play. You can go back to even when Peyton Manning was playing on the Colts and like Sage Rosenfels would, would get out to like hot starts against them. Yeah. It's a, it's a story rivalry between two very confusing franchise. Yes.

And it was, it was, yeah, you're absolutely right. And it was also like the Texans, it just felt like something weird was going to happen because the Browns, we just mentioned 2004 next up Colts. Colts have not won in nine straight week ones. Remember that for next year, Jake. Colts have not won in nine straight week ones. That's, that feels significant. Yeah.

That's a, that's a long time now. What do you say, Billy? Peyton hasn't, that doesn't even, does that include any Peyton years? Nine? Yeah. It's 14, 13 maybe. No, I don't think it does. Wow.

That's crazy. No, I think that's, that it, the full Andrew Luck career though, who's on the sideline for Stanford USC. That was nice to see him. That's true with his family. Yep. He looked happy. Yeah.

He did look happy. He looks goofy. He looks very good. He looks just good. He had a goofy hat on. I like goofy Andrew Luck. He had a hat that was like a Brooklyn Dodgers hat from like 1940. I think Andrew Luck was just born to be a goofy dad.

Yeah. And he's going to crush it at that. Girl dad. Two girl dad. Two, two, two girls. Yeah. He mentioned that. Okay.

Yeah. So Colts tax and tied. Drew Brees could never. Nope. He would just completely ignore it. Put him in a river. Wash him down. Give me, give me a man next time.

Oh, Drew Brees. What a dick, by the way. We're going to get to talk about college football. Yeah. That Instagram where he was like, yeah. He's, he's, he separated his shoulder. Just get back in there. Shoot it up.

Yeah. And maybe that's why the roster of the Saints was held back for four years. Well, also, I mean, the nice thing Drew Brees could give direct advice on is like, if you, if you treat it this way, you'll never go to the Miami Dolphins. Right. Right. Exactly. Exactly.

All right. Giants Titans were in the afternoon games. Dabel, Dabel dancing with the team. Dabel putting his nuts on the line and going for two. I fucking loved it. And I'm starting to believe, I mean, Saquon said this is going to be his revenge tour. He was awesome today. He was incredible.

He was in everything. He was pat, catching passes, running routes, running huge homerun Saquon runs. Yeah. The Giants. He looked fresh. Yeah. He looked real fresh. And I think a new, like a rookie head coach, if you have a roster where you're not expected

to win now, you can do stuff like this. And honestly, if he had not gone for two, that would have been a big red flag. Correct. Like, you know that you're not going to win a Super Bowl this year. Like, put your nuts on the line, get a reputation as somebody who believes in your team, then they'll start to fight for you and things will turn around quicker. Become the culture. Become the culture.

Brian DeBalls. That's who he is. DeBalls. Yeah. He brought the nuts out. He kind of looks like a testicle. He's a, he's a big bowling ball. Yeah.

That's what I think with Jules. No, he's not like a, like an actual testes. Yeah. He's, but he, he is the culture. Him dancing in the locker room. He is the culture now. They seem to like him. And, and Daniel Jones is just like,

Daniel Jones will beat you if you just give him endless chances. All right. So that's really all it comes down to. There was one moment in this game when we saw Daniel Jones throw the interception to the corner of the end zone where I turned to Tommy Smokes was next to us. He's a, he's a Giants fan. And I said, you know, at least like Daniel Jones is making this decision for you. Right.

Because a throw like that, you see it and you're like, okay, he's definitely not the guy. He, he does some nice things occasionally, but you know that if you make a throw like that and get picked off in the red zone, you're just not the guy. You're not the guy to bet on for the long term. And then that motherfucker comes back and helps you win the game later. And then you're like, wow, this is the ultimate Daniel Jones experience where he might be the guy. Now I'm thinking like Daniel Jones, in the right circumstances, he might be a nice guy. But that's what I'm saying.

Like if you give him, they just kept on giving him chances. And eventually Daniel Jones will, will win a game. Yeah. They just give him like 17 chances to win the game. Yeah. Yeah. Because that pick felt like it was the game over. And the Titans turns out they might miss AJ Brown a little bit.

A lot. Their defense still looked good without Landry, but yeah, they might miss AJ Brown. Fat Randy got iced. You can ice fat, it turns out. Fat Randy. That was a great to see. So Aaron shots from football outsiders, he pointed this out at the end of the game. They did the thing where they take the knee to give the kicker like a better angle at it.

Oh yeah. And if they hadn't taken those two and a half yards out, Fat Randy's kick probably would have gone in. Yeah. It was a very weird thing that Tana Hill was like, dude, are you going to take the knee? Are you going to take the knee? And he just kept on kind of going backwards. It was like, usually when you take a knee, you lose a yard.

Yeah. You lost like four. It was a bad knee. Yeah. It's very, very bad knee. And they also had to burn a time out at the end of the game too, because it looked like they were going to get a delay of game. Right.

So Vrable had to burn one there. You think Vrable respects Dable? Or do you think he hates them? Because they had a physical handshake. I think it was a respect thing. I think it was just like, they're just physical guys. Yeah. And just like, you know, we probably, that's how Vrable shows his love is just getting

even more physical. Yeah. It's like almost fighting you. Right. Yeah. That's the true guess. Actually, yes. Like when we've met Vrable in the past, he just slapped the fuck out of me in the back of my,

he just slapped me in the back and I like coughed up alone. I thought he was going to break my hand. Yeah. Yeah. All right. We got three more games. PFC, you got a quick word from our sponsors. Yeah.

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Seriously, you could save you hundreds of dollars per year or more. That's rocketmoney.com slash take. Okay, three games left. The TV went out. We're also out of practice. Usually when we get mid-season, we start taping a little bit earlier. It's 1.30 right now. It's 1.30.

We're not going to be this late every week, I hope. We're just out of practice. We'll see. We enjoyed the hell out of the terrible Sunday night football game. I'm okay with being this late though. Yeah. It feels good. Yeah.

Nope. Howling at the moon. Looking at the guys who still have to do another two and a half hours after and maybe not. Either way, we've got three games left. Chiefs Cardinals. Chiefs 44. Cardinals 21. Turns out Patrick Mahomes is still really fucking awesome.

Yeah. I think we talked to Jules about that. It's like, wait, we haven't really said his name at all and he's probably the best quarterback physically in the history of the NFL. Well, he's now, I have a stat to kind of back up how insane Patrick Mahomes is. There's six players in NFL history with at least six, five touchdown games. Breeze Brady, Manning Rothesberger, Merino. Those are the other five.

All of them took at least 240 games to do it. Patrick Mahomes did it today. It was his 64th game played. Yeah. I mean, he's in fucking sane. He's a freak. And I think week one, Patrick Mahomes is even better than average Patrick Mahomes. And on top of that, the quote unquote Patrick Mahomes killer last year,

the too high safety shell that every team was like, this is how we stop him. He had 110 passer rating against it today. Well, they also blitzed him, which is a terrible idea. But it's just like, I don't think Cliff Kingsbury actually like sat down and looked at a game plan. I don't think because it doesn't make any sense what they tried to do to stop him. Yeah. There might, that's why they're in the pinky bowl next Sunday. But they Patrick Mahomes all off season.

Oh, Tyree kill is gone. He's going to have to do some things differently. Turns out he can do everything and do it at such an insane level that he's still Patrick Mahomes. And we should all just like I walked away. Big takeaways from this week was one of them was, oh yeah, Patrick Mahomes is the best quarterback in the NFL. Yes.

Obviously, I think, I think we forget about him a lot because we talk about Josh Allen. But Patrick Mahomes is like, if anybody goes, if there's one quarterback that's going to go out and throw for like 500 yards on a given week, it's probably going to be Mahomes. Yeah, if you had to bet your life. Yes. He's the guy. Give me one guy who can throw five touchdowns. He's the guy that you would put it on.

And I think it's kind of bullshit that Pacheco is wearing number 10 and he kind of looks like Tyreek Hill. That's very confusing to me. Although I understand it does make him look a lot faster because he is wearing Tyreek Hill's number. I feel like he absorbs some of that from Tyreek. But it's also it's weird watching that because wait, you're not, you're on the Dolphins now. Yeah.

And I was, oh, the last thing with the five touchdown pass game games. It reminded me that Phil Rivers never had one, which always bumps me out. That that sucks. It's crazy. All right. So Mahomes says that he's five and oh and season or Mahomes is five and oh and season openers. He's thrown 18 touchdowns and no interceptions.

That's crazy. He's so fucking good. And I'm I don't want to shit on the Cardinals, but I'd not go take them seriously until Deandre Hopkins is back. Yeah. I'm just not their offense didn't look good today. There was nothing, nothing exciting about the Cardinals. Except yeah, they bit the pinky on them.

You know what they don't do? They don't do the small things well. Like they don't, it feels like the Cardinals are always in third and long and they need Kyler Murray to be a hero. And a lot of times he is a hero and he's an incredible quarterback. But like I never, I feel like I never watch a Cardinals game and they're like in second and three and then, you know, like third and one. They just, it always feels like we got to, we got to hit a home run, play, home run, play,

home run, play, the only consistent thing about the Cardinals. James Conner is going to score a touchdown. Yep. That's what you can set your watch to. That and also we have, we have a full season of getting to know Dorch. Dorch. Your wide receiver, Dorch. Dorch.

Great name. From Wake Forest, I believe. Dorch. Dorch. Yeah. My home's fucking, God damn he's so good. 30 for 39, 360 yards, five touchdowns. Yeah.

Pretty good. Pretty good. Your interceptions. Also one fun fact from this game. I was looking at the box score. There were eight fumbles in this game and only one was lost. Yeah, that's crazy. I think Juju had a couple of them today.

Eight fumbles and only one was lost. That's really hard to do. It's, I mean, that's crazy. So I asked our guys, that whole sports, he said, he went back and looked. In 1999, the Broncos played the Jaguars. There were eight fumbles and zero turnovers. So that was the only other time. I was like, find me the most fumbles with the least amount of lost.

Eight, eight fumbles, one recovered by the other team. That's pretty crazy. Yeah. Another contender in terms of the division with the best kickers in the NFL would be the AFC West because not only do they have Bucker on the Chiefs who big balls, huge balls. Injured. He had a 54 yarder on a two step approach. Yep.

And then like proceeded to injure himself more on that kick. Yep. But they also have Justin Reed, their safety, who is probably good enough to be a starting kicker on a lot of teams in the NFL. This dude is kicking balls out of the back of the end zone on kickoffs. Crazy. He's a safety. And he's nailing field goals and extra points, hitting it above the kicking net.

Like the guy is legitimately an NFL caliber place kicker, but he's also a safety. That's, he might be the best athlete in the NFL. Yeah. Save a roster spot. That's crazy. Have him do both. I mean, on a kickoff, it actually makes a ton of sense. If you could have a guy that is good enough to be like, I don't know, 85% even as good

of a kickoff kicker as your normal kicker is, but he's also a great tackler. Yeah. Like that makes so much sense. Extra guy on the field. Yeah. That, that is a huge event. That's a cheat code. Yeah.

Damn. Andy Reed's done it again. But yeah, Patrick Mahomes still incredible. All right. Chargers, Raiders, Chargers 24, Raiders 19. This was my other big takeaway. I'm officially now here ready to say I'm taking the Chargers very much for real as a team that can win the Super Bowl.

They looked awesome. Their defense looked awesome. Cleal Mack and Joe, is it Joey? No, Nick. Nick Bosa? No, Joey. Nick. Nick Bosa.

Nick. Nick. Joey. No, Nick. Joey's on the job. Joey, Joey. It's Nick. Joey.

Tom Kennedy? Tom. Timmy. Timmy Kennedy. Cleal Mack and Joey Bosa had four and a half sacks and forced two turnovers and had 16 pressures. And Justin Herbert looked incredible, as always, throwing just fucking cannon shots everywhere.

Kenan Allen, I think got hurt halfway through the game too. Yeah. That's what Kenan Allen does. I'm the charge. I watched Brandon Staley's speech after the game in the locker room and I was ready to run through a brick wall and I was resistant because the media loves them and they haven't done anything. But I'm ready.

I'm here now ready to apologize and say I'm taking the Chargers very much for real. I mean, they're a very talented team and they have been for a while. Yeah. But the Chargers do weird stuff. They do weird stuff to run games in unusual fashions. And I hope that changes this year, but I've seen a lot of Chargers games in the past. Right. And I know that it's a completely different team, completely different coaching staff

from when they were the weirdest team of all time. But it's going to take a while to get that stink off my brain. Right. Like I still expect the Chargers to do strange things and to get to a place where they have more talent than any team in the league, but yet somehow find ways to win all sorts of easy games. And that was last year. They did.

They were a good team, obviously, but they didn't make the playoffs. So I wasn't ready to say like, Oh my God, this team is incredible. They didn't make the fucking playoffs. Think about it today. So I guess it's kind of a silver lining for the Raiders. Derek Carr, the world is filled with Derek Carr truthers. I'm convinced that I don't know where they come from. But you can't tell me like I will not believe in Derek Carr.

I just won't. I know that like some people are saying like, Oh, he should be a league MVP. I'm going to put a future on him to win the league MVP. He's really good. I think he can be league MVP this year. And I don't, I've never seen that from Derek Carr. Right. He's very, he's a confusing quarterback.

He has the worst internal clock. Well, no. So here's what I think he's the most sackable quarterback in the league right now. Here's what it is when, when like Tom Brady or Patrick Mahomes or Josh Allen, when they get, when the block, when the blockings there and they have like four or five seconds, you're watching it and you're saying, well, this is, this sucks. They're gonna, like if you're playing them, if Tom Brady has five seconds, you're like, well, he's clearly going to hit an open guy.

Derek Carr, the more time he has, like the more dangerous it gets for Derek Carr. He's like, Oh, I have all this time. I'm going to do something really fucked up, really stupid. Yeah. He did that a couple of times where it was like, he was under a lot of pressure today, but there were a couple of times where it was like, Oh, he's got a little bit of time here. Oh, he threw an interception.

And he's like, fuck, dude, what are you doing? I think, I think there's always something wrong with his internal clock. Yeah. He's always making really unusual decisions. The great news though for the Raiders is he played about as bad as he can play and you only lost by five points. Yes. So that's pretty good.

Like he got his lunch eating, especially like that offensive line had some issues dealing with Mack and with Bosa and things got sideways for a while. But you only lost by five points to maybe the most talented team in that division. We also have to, I know it's early, but obviously they played together at Fresno State. Devante Adams was incredible today. But are we, are we going to, I don't know, two, three weeks from now be like, is he forcing it? Because Devante Adams had 17 targets.

The rest of the receivers had 18 total. Yeah. That's, that's a lot. Like there's, is there going to be a little bit of like, Hey, he's just trying to get his guy because that can happen. And it's like, that, that can be bad when you're not hitting other guys. They've got enough good players. Like Waller, I know.

Water and Renfro. Yeah. No, there's, they, they have a lot of good players, but I just, I will never, Derek Carr just, I had money on the Raiders and I was watching it and being like, this isn't going to work. Okay. Let me go back a little bit. Then the Charter of Defense deserves a lot of credit because they looked good. I was, I was basically saying that Derek Carr is a exploding bag of dog shit.

And I say that with love in my heart. I would not say that about him if he actually was dog shit. I think he's good enough, but he's, he's good enough to be so frustrating when he makes these bad decisions. Because he's, you know, I would ignore him if he was just dog trash. But it's, it's getting into the tears. It's like Derek Carr shows flashes where he's like, he's an elite quarterback, but he's not. Yeah.

I'm just saying, I will never believe in him enough to put him up in that. Like he can win it. The only way that Derek Carr could ever win a Super Bowl is if he had like an all-star team at every single position around him. And even then he might find a way to screw it. Right. Right. He's, he is, he is the perfect example of a guy who can flash elite quarterback play.

And then at the other side, just be like, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah. But the Charter of Defense was incredible. And they were all up in his ass all day. And I think the offensive line for the Raiders is a huge problem that like they could, they could have all these other positions and they can have explosive games. But it's going to be hard when you go up against that, you go up against the Chiefs with Chris Jones.

Like there's, it's going to be tough. They're going to have some tough games where their offensive line is going to have to figure it out for Derek Carr. They also got a guy that on the offensive line that has the tattoos of Richie incognito and it confused me for a while. Yeah. I was like, I think that's Richie back out there. I think it's just reincarnation.

Probably. It's beautiful. He retired and then they just, that guy got all the tattoos. Okay. So yeah, Chargers officially, that was another big takeaway. I, I'm officially taking them very, very seriously this year. Might even have to place a future on them. I probably missed all the good numbers, but whatever.

All right. Last game, Roback game, use promo code take Roback for 20% off your first purchase. RHOBACK.com promo code take. They have everything polos, Q zips, hoodies, and they also have great shorts. Basically anything you want to be comfortable. I was wearing my Roback polo this weekend in Iowa city. The best gear, RHOBACK.com use code take for 20% off your first purchase. Aaron Rodgers is so mad.

He's so mad. The Vikings won 23 seven. Aaron Rodgers is so mad. He does not like those wide receivers at all. He wants to kill Christian Watson. Do you think, do you think there's ever been a bigger disparity in the amount of drugs that two opposing quarterbacks have ever done than Aaron Rodgers versus Kurt Cousins? No, I don't think so.

No, I don't think it's possible. No chance, no chance. Kurt Cousins has probably called the cops on his friends for using drugs. He probably called the, he probably pulled me. He probably called the cops on Aaron Rodgers today. Yeah. He's like, I think this guy's holding. He smells funny.

I should actually form an alliance with Kurt Cousins. Let's get Aaron Rodgers in jail. Or maybe, maybe Kurt Cousins cut a contact high from Aaron Rodgers today. That's what chilled him out so much. And he was able to take a few chances. Yeah. That's true. He did.

You mean Justin Jefferson also like is so insane. Is he the best receiver in the NFL? I'm going to say that Justin Jefferson is top three receiver in the NFL. Yeah. Cause we, cause we always do this and then we forget a bunch of people, but he was incredible. At least three people. He just looked up every two seconds. Yeah.

No, I was about to get to that. So Aaron Rodgers hates his receivers so much. And of course, everything Aaron Rodgers does makes news. And he probably was just doing it out of the kindness of his heart. But he did go up to Justin Jefferson after the game and he said, you're the best player in the game. Yeah. I don't think that's really news.

I mean, like Christian Watson was also laying on the ground right next to him. Yeah. But do you expect Aaron Rodgers to go up to like Alan Lazard and be like, you're the best receiver in the league, dude? No, no, no. Best player. Yeah. I know.

I'm not. Yeah. Not receiver. He called him the best player. I'm just saying like, I think that's like, I'm not going to get on Aaron Rodgers for doing that. I don't think that's him throwing anybody on the bus. Oh, I will. I think that he is.

I'm going to actually am going to attack Aaron Rodgers because he's doing too much media these days. Yeah. He's doing this Sunday conversation. He's doing facts. Finally. Hard in my take. He's doing the Joe Rogan show.

He's on Info Wars, all the above. Like Aaron Rodgers is he's become the new Baker Mayfield. Yeah. And and man, I loved every second of it. And I and fuck you to Jake. Special fuck you to Jake because Jake just completely ruined my mood. When he was like, oh, this is going to be great because now the Packers have lost and the Bears have won.

So big cats going to convince themselves the Bears are going to beat the Packers on Sunday Football Week too. But that's not going to happen. Let me do that. I'm not wrong though, right? But let me do it. I'm not. So you can.

Let me just walk into the same. I'm Sideshow Bob. I step on the rake and then I step on another rake. Let me just keep doing some confidence that you didn't think you were going to have when this day began. The Bears are going to beat the Packers on Sunday Football. There you go. I think they will.

There you go. I don't. The Packers. Aaron Rodgers hates his wide receivers. He hates them. I would too if I was him. Yeah. Do you see that pass that was dropped in the first Christian Watson?

He wants to kill. It was pretty bad. Yeah. I would absolutely hate my wide receiver. If a Packers wide receiver goes missing. It's Aaron Rodgers. He killed him in jail. I thought it was interesting too how Jordan Love came on and didn't seem to have those

same issues. He was perfect. He was so good. Yeah. Isn't that weird though? Like I think Jordan Love might throw a veteran ball. Interesting. Interesting.

Yeah. I'm just going to. I know what's going to happen. I know the Pat. I know Matt LaFleur is a phenomenal head coach. And I know it's still Aaron Rodgers. And I know the Packers will write the ship. And I'm not going to overreact because I did this last year when they lost to the Saints.

But I'm just saying I'm living in the moment. And this moment is very fun. Bears are one and all. The Packers are own one. And that franchise is crumbling. Matt LaFleur also. He is a good coach. But he did give Bolton board material to the entire Vikings fan base.

He was like I know they're going to blow that stupid horn. Nice. When they come in there. It's not a stupid horn. It's called the was it the fjogel fjogel horn. Yeah. And it means it's got a long history of tradition. Yeah.

Up there. Remember when it when it froze and cracked because it was too cold outside. That's what they used to use to introduce Ragnar the mascot. Yeah. For the Vikings back in the day. So LaFleur. I know he came under a lot of fire from the Vikings fan base. I think he's just doing the old Phil Jackson where he knew he was going to lose this game.

He tried to put it on himself for jinxing them ahead of time. Smart. As opposed to making Aaron Rodgers have to come to terms with him hating at all his teammates. Yeah. He's a great head coach. I wanted to finish with a couple of names I just want to throw out there. Devonte Adams. He's pretty good.

Right. It's pretty good. T Higgins. He's pretty good. Yeah. Michael Pittman. Yeah. He's okay.

Debo Samuel. Pretty good. Yeah. Those are all wide receivers the Packers could have drafted in the last couple of years that they didn't because they wanted to draft someone else. So Aaron Rodgers like you have a gripe dude you should actually you should hold out again because it's fucked up what they've done to you. Do you say Devonte Adams.

Yeah I said Devonte Adams. They could have drafted him. Yeah. Well they could have had him. Yeah. This year but Aaron Rodgers took so much money he ate the whole pie. That's true. So there's nothing they could have done.

So I'm just saying. They got Randall Cobb. It's crumbling. This franchise is crumbling. I love it. The Bears are going to win. The Bears are going to be 2 and 0 and the Packers are going to be 0 and 2. I think about that.

Think about that world that we're going to live in. Are you ready for that world Packers fans. You're not. And I know that it's like 2 in the morning and I'm just talking out of my ass and I'm kind of delirious but I'm living in the moment. You're not ready for that moment. I love that the Packers strategy for making Aaron Rodgers happy was like fine we'll get Randall Cobb back.

Yeah. You love you love that guy like 10 years ago. Jordy Nelson. That should make everything better. Yes. Yes. And the Vikings look very good. Kevin O'Connell pass first test.

Yeah. The Vikings. I think I talked myself into the Vikings when in the north and then I bet on the Packers today because that's how stupid I am. I think I might I might be ready to respect Kirk Cousins. Don't do this yet. Because I'm going to I'm going to say that like Kevin O'Connell might have unlocked something. Well we think about that.

You think like Kirk Cousins has been like activated. Well they don't just run on first down every time and play the most conservative football. One game sample size. I think I think Cousins has been activated. Wow. He did have a perfect Kirk Cousins 23 for 32 277 yards and two touchdowns. That's beautiful. That's beautiful.

Kirk Cousins is it's the Bitcoin avatar where it's like Kirk Cousins this year has the glowing red eyes. Yes. Yes. He's he's ready to go. He's ready to take off. Packers are dead. Billy football guy of the week.

Football guy of the week. Yes. Football guy of the week is brought to you by body armor. This season you know your favorite players are hydrating with body armor sports drink on and off the field. Body armor sports drink is more than just a sports drink. Body armor sports drink is the choice for hard working hydration. It has all the potassium packed electrolytes antioxidants B vitamins plus no artificial

sweeteners flavors and dyes. It's available for purchase in store and on Amazon now. Go get you some body armor. I just drank one. This week our winner of last week's football guy of the week is Chase Morales who was the high school kid who ran without his helmet found him. He's a baseball worker. Oh you found him.

I found him. Oh. So you did when we said don't hunt a high schooler. You're like no no no. He I found him on Twitter. Okay. He's trying to play college baseball. I put his highlight tape in the blog.

So hopefully someone sees that and maybe gets a break. Did you nail did you mail him the nail. No because I didn't go to that level of stalking a high school kid. That's right. Yeah you didn't nail him. Yeah I didn't nail him. Okay. Maybe we got another high school.

Bill you're only allowed to nail people who are over 18. Okay good point. I think we got to start setting these people some some cheesesteaks too. Yeah part of my cheesesteaks. We can send a high schooler some cheesesteaks. Absolutely. Yeah with a nail in it. Yeah.

One out of every four cheesesteaks we send to the football guy the week we'll have a nail in it. You have to guess which one. So the first nominee for this week was a Detroit fan who just showed up to the game in full pads. Yes. Maconkey. The thing was him and his wife were sort of both cosplaying in something. So he's dressed up as a football player. His wife is kind of dressed up as like a I think like a

Dalton Abbey type character. So we'll see. Always was what I think for the queen. Oh for the queen. Oh yeah that's probably for the queen. Wait is that show about the queen. I don't know. It's British.

It's British. Yeah it's very British. They definitely talk about the queen. I think every British show in some ways about the queen. Everything in Britain's for the queen. Yeah. Yeah. Then our second nominee is Ray Ruchel a defensive lineman who's playing his first

football season at 49 year old as a college freshman. Hell yeah I love that guy. Super old guy. I love these stories. Yeah and it's at like North Dakota State University of Sciences or something like that. I saw I saw the clip from practice where they were doing a fumble drill where he was just running with the ball and then just getting stripped by somebody. And they were having a great time.

Yeah. You watch this guy play and you're like I respect the hell. I admire that guy for falling his dream. Go go do it. I mean him getting out of a three point stance. I mean I couldn't imagine doing it that age. The third nominee is Luke Casten another high school kid who before every game he mows the whole field.

Oh he gets an electrical lawn mower and mows Wait electric lawn mower. It's a ride along. Oh is it gas. I think it's gas. Okay all right. So I was going to rescind his football guy if he's an electric mower. Yeah he's got to be like total like gas guzzling to the max.

I wanted to diesel. I wanted to like raise the temperature of that town by three degrees. Yeah you can you can see the ozone layer like evaporating wherever he mows. Our next nominee is this old guy. I love I love Billy's. He's like very interesting opinion. So this isn't there's a lot. This is high school heavy.

It won't be like this every week. Oh yeah. No definitely not. Definitely not. No but basically this old guy in Arkansas ran out of the stands to fight a ref. It's like you're digging this guy's like too old to be doing anything physical and he's just walking out there and he's trying to throw hands with the refs and he had to be restrained by multiple cops.

But I don't know what was done to cause it set him off but that's pretty hilarious. Okay. And our last nominee little add on. That guy definitely has like some corn whiskey coursing through his blood right now. Yeah. That guy is hammered. Respect. And last guy was a Jets fan who's doing push-ups for the game in the parking lot between two cars.

Nice. So football guy moved. All right so go vote for in the blog. I have two others that just thrown in there. Honorable mentions the kid at LSU who just slowly walked out to the 10 yard line and was like literally just he was very very drunk but he was just taking in the scene and then the cops came and were like hey you can't do this. And he tried to slap a cop and then he got fucking like his head shoved into the ground

but it was sick. The kid was like the cops came out and the kid looked at the cops like why are you harassing me? Yeah like I'm I'm fucking on the field bro. I know my rights. He tried doing like some sovereign citizen shit. Yeah. He's like I'm actually a interstate traveler right now.

You can't arrest me here. It was awesome. He was so drunk. I was one of those drunk sorts like I wish I was that drunk. Yeah. He was lost. Lost. He got lost on a field during an LSU game.

How cool is that? Yeah very cool. They ran a play while he was standing on the 10 yard line. Yeah. That's definitely acid. That dude was so sick. And then also the guy there was just a picture of a guy who was watching the Bill's game at the bar and he brought a football with him.

The cat is like he had his chin resting on the football. Yeah Trent I think tweeted that out. Yeah. Fucking love that guy. Legend. Okay good job Billy. All right let's finish up. We got Who's Back of the Week.

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Switch today at Visible.com. Best wireless out there for a very affordable price. Visible.com. Hank Who's Back of the Week. My Who's Back of the Week is 19 year olds. Oh. All right. Very good.

Carlos Alcatraz won the U.S. Open. Oh. All right. And he's only 19. He's 19. That's an awesome name. I feel like it's been a while since we've had a 19 year old in our midst. And now we got another one.

U.S. Open Champ. Carlos Alcatraz. What a cool name. Alcatraz. Alcatraz. Yeah Alcatraz. Alcatraz. Carlos Alcatraz.

Is that re-pronouncing it correct? Carlos Alcatraz. Yeah Alcatraz. You guys got it. James takes us all to go home. I don't know. You guys gave me a lot of crap for bringing up tennis, but I had so many people tweeting at me Friday night being like,

because you brought it up on the pod, I was watching Tiafo and Alcarraz in the semifinal. It was a five set. Alcatraz. It was awesome. Yeah. Yeah. So Tiafo is fun to watch.

Yeah. Actually I'll defend Jake for a little bit. We do give him a lot of shit for liking tennis because it's a very dorky sport that nobody cares about. Good one. It gets intense. But I do. I like Alcatraz.

I like Tiafo. And I like that real prick that hates everything in Spass. Curios. Yeah. The future of tennis is in good hands with those three. Those are the big three moving forward. So pick your sides wisely. I think I'm a Curios guy on the court.

On the court like Peter King said. Only on the court. Between the ones. And then I also like Tiafo. I think Tiafo would be great on the show. DC. Yeah. Okay.

We'll have Tiafo on. Yeah, that'd be good. Yeah. I listen. My tennis take. I know it's exciting. People were talking about it. I have to draw the line somewhere.

It's kind of like F1. Like I have to draw the line. No, don't be wrong. I only closely pay attention to the Grand Slams. I'm going next year. If I watched, I was watching Friday night and I was like, I should have just fucking went to this. If I watched tennis and F1, which we pretended to like,

I mean, I still will watch Drives to Survive. I don't have enough time. I'm not going to watch the smaller tournaments over football or basketball. But the Grand Slams are awesome. I'll watch Wimbledon. And when Djokovic is allowed to fucking compete because he would have won this thing.

But he didn't. But he would have. I'll also watch the Australian Open when it comes on at weird times. Yeah. And I just find myself watching TV when there's no other sports on. Australian Open is really good for that.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Good who's back, Hank. Thanks. You're welcome. Nailed it. Appreciate it.

Good job. Thank you, PFT. Yeah, Hank talked to the mic. PFT, who's your who's back? Oh, Hank, it looks like he wants to kill me. You mad? Two in the morning. We just hit the two AM.

That's really good. You mad? My who's back of the week is the water dogs. Yeah. Because these little bitches, that's respectful. They're dogs. These little bitches are in the PLL finals next Sunday, taking place at what time?

Probably immediately at the same time as NFL kickoff next Sunday. So ratings are going to be through the roof. But I'm excited because I don't have to let out a random dog that I find in a neighborhood. That was going to be my punishment this week. Basically, every week I've been threatening to kill a stranger's dog unless the water dogs win.

And they haven't lost since that began. So I'm shaming and being just generally bad people to the water dogs have proven to be the most effective motivation. So who are you playing? The chaos. This is? They beat a very good whip snakes team

that has won the championship, I think, two out of the past. I think exactly as we beat them. No, but it's a pretty big upset. Listen, this is the absolute epitome of a win-win for us. We were talking about it before. But if the water dogs lose, if a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound? We're just not going to say anything.

And if the water dogs win, I'm getting a ring. I'm getting, we're going to drink out of a cup. You think Paul Rable is going to hand us the trophy? I think that he should. He absolutely should. I'm going to be like, just tell everyone, yeah, I won. I own the team that won the PLL championship.

We're basically going to be the Stan Kronke. Correct. Of La Crosse. So we cannot lose next Sunday. No. What time is the game? Probably exactly 1 PM. 3 PM.

OK. All right. So the second half, we're hopping off the witching hour. Right on the witching hour. Yeah, that'll be fine. Yeah, you'll see the end of the game after the witching hour. OK. OK.

We will have the water dogs. You know what? I'm just going to say, the semifinals, that was really my championship. Because it's like the USA hockey team back in Lake Placid. When they beat US, that wasn't actually the finals. We beat the whip snakes. That was starting day one.

We're like, we got to beat the whip snakes. If we do that, everyone's got us counted out. If we do that, then we're going to consider the season a success. So mission accomplished. Great job, water dogs. I'm also going to say, we will watch this game on a computer. And by that, I mean Jake will watch it and tell us what happens.

I think Dugues will watch it. Yeah. And then he'll tell Jake what's happened. And then Jake will filter the important information to us. Yes. Yes. I asked owner Big Cat his thoughts on the water dogs first championship appearance, two words, cool, yay.

Yay. That's exactly how I said it. I said, cool, yay. Like that. Hank, do you have any comment? Good boop for the dogs. I don't think I'm actually an owner, so no. Did you not sign the paperwork?

No. Sign it now. Sign it right before the championship. Yeah, you should sign it. And then that way, if they lose, double win-win for us, because we're like, that's Hank's fault. Our ownership group has been poisoned. Yep, from the inside.

So yeah, the water dogs, I guess, are back. Also, back is blog PFT, because the MMBM is coming back. Nice. I've been waiting to make an announcement about that. I talked about it last year when I did the interview with KFC behind the blog. And I really, really miss writing. I don't have that much time to do it anymore. But it's the thing that I really love doing more than anything else.

So I don't know when it's going to come out. It's going to, well, I mean, like it's, I love, I love writing. And it's going to come out sometime either Monday or Tuesday. I'm not sure if it's going to be Monday or Tuesday. Tuesday. Probably Tuesday. That way. Maybe even Wednesday.

You know what? If it comes out Tuesday, I can include what happens on Monday night. Yeah. Oh yeah, for sure. That'll happen. Boom. The Tuesday morning quarterback, I think that's already. Tuesday afternoon.

Tuesday morning, Wednesday-ish. Tuesday morning bowel movement will be coming out Tuesday morning. I'm just going to say it right now. So happy to be out back in the blog streets again. Nice. Because I missed it. All right. My who's back.

I have two. One is I'm the worst gambler alive. I went 0-7 and I lost my game of the year. Yeah. I'm not sad about it, but whatever. And then my other who's back is college football. College football is back. Incredible Saturday.

I love it too because we spent all off season. People were hand wringing. Oh my God. College football is changing. NIL, conference realignment, all this stuff. They forgot that college football still rules because of days like Saturday that had complete chaos. Texas almost beating Alabama.

I'm counting Texas's back because their defense played better than they played like, I don't know, 15 years. I can't even remember the last time. That defense was 100% legit. It was awesome. And if Quinn Newers doesn't get hurt, they win that game. I'm convinced of it. I thought it was fucked up that he goes into the tunnel

and then Colt McCoy's dad's like, no, he can't complete a pass. I won't let him back in the game. You know, he was like, hey, play catch with me real quick. Yeah, that's exactly what Texas's standard was back in what, 2010? Yeah. It's funny like the similarities

between those two injuries are kind of crazy. Both quarterbacks, I think also, both backup quarterbacks went to the same high school too. But I think Texas, like that's not a fluke what Texas did. No. Because they didn't really get that many breaks. In fact, they got fucked over on a couple bad calls. Big time.

And they could have very easily won that game. Their defense is actually very, very good. Yeah, they were flying around. Bryce Young also was just insane. The way he got out of that sack was just silly. He just kind of like ducked. He just ducked and then, yeah, made the play. But what I was going to say was the,

like all the handling, everything, we had upsets. We had crazy app state going to Texas A&M, Notre Dame losing at home to Marshall. Who else lost? Nebraska. Nebraska. Firing Scott Frost. Oh, also Kansas, Duke, UNC in Kentucky.

College basketball, Blue Bloods. All defeated. More than that. What is it? Scrolling. Gonzaga. Syracuse. Gonzaga hasn't lost.

UCLA. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What'd you just do? Undefeated. You just tried to put Syracuse in the Blue Bloods? No. Blue Bloods plus. Indiana is Kentucky, UCLA, Kansas, Duke, UNC.

Those are the Blue Bloods. Those six. Mm-hmm. Syracuse. And then I also included Syracuse and Michigan State on this list. Syracuse, Michigan State, not not level. Okay, nice.

That's for another day. That's for another day. They're on the list. Yeah, they're on the list. They're on the list. Smart. Savvy. Yeah.

See what you did there. But, yes. Wisconsin lost whatever. Football is stupid. The Sunbelt is the best conference in America. Yeah. The same one. Sunbelt East.

Yep. The Sunbelt. Could you look up? Just curious, like the Sunbelt East, we listed three teams that had big upsets this weekend. Over, like, very, very, you know, storied franchises. Who's in first place in the Sunbelt East?

It's got to be either App State, Marshall. Those are the ways that we Google, because this is a trap question, but I'm going to go ahead and say James Madison. Yeah, oh, that's right. Yeah, James. First place in the Sunbelt. Nice.

Best conference in sports. Anthony Richardson, Heisman campaign. It's over. Yeah. We had that. We always had a week one. Dude, Mark Stoops just, I mean, he fucking just beats Florida.

They didn't win for 20 years against Florida. And then he's beaten them three out of the last five times. And it was like, you know that a program has completely turned around and become something where watching that game on Saturday night, I was like, yeah, Kentucky is going to win this game because they're better, which never happened with Kentucky. Because they would lose in weird ways.

Remember the time they just had 10 guys on the field? On defense twice. I think they did that twice in a game. Right. Now I'm just like, no, no, no. Kentucky is a really good football team in a good program. Like, they're going to win this game in a swamp.

Yeah. They actually are like a very well built, well coached football team. Right. So I do it in the van in Youngstown, right? Yeah. Yes. Yes.

Both Stoops. When he wasn't even Kentucky. No, he was. He was. Yeah. We had the Stoops and Mark Mangino. Yeah, somehow. Yeah.

In the van. Wait. No, we didn't get in the van. No. He was there. I don't know if he was. He was definitely there. He was at the bottom.

We meet him. He definitely didn't get in the van. I would remember if he got caught. He probably would not have. He definitely didn't get in the van. We would. That would be something that you remember forever. Yeah.

Kansas is back. Kansas won by 13 and overtime. It's crazy. It's crazy. Has any team ever won by 13 and overtime before? I think it's happened maybe once or twice before, but it was nuts. But it was one of those Saturdays that's just chaos

and every game was like staggered and perfect. Like, even Iowa, Iowa State, like Iowa State beating Iowa for the first time under Matt Campbell. The Pitt-Tennessee game was crazy. I just love college football. I love, love college football. And this is a reminder to people who get upset

and be like, it's being ruined. We're so low. That college football will always rule because at the end of the day, it's a bunch of 18 or 22-year-olds making stupid decisions and fucking up games and having max chaos. Yeah.

Also, I think UNC might be the greatest team to watch in college football. There's so- I feel like it's just going to be- You want to talk about maximum chaos. I feel like that's going to be UNC every single game. Very fun to watch, but also infuriating if you're actually a fan of UNC.

Yes. Yes. No, their quarterback is awesome and their defense is hot garbage. Yep. So, yeah. Awesome Saturday of college football. I love college football.

Scott Frost fired too soon. 16 and 31. Feel like he was building something. Come on. Come on. Give him a shot. Also, just kind of a lesson. Like, Scott Frost is a good lesson.

Like, Jim Harbaugh was teetering on this, but he righted the ship. And always be careful about, you know, like, Scott Frost has no home now. The alumni, yeah. He has no home. Like, he went home to be the guy, and now he's not the guy.

He can't go to a Nebraska game ever again. No. Like, I guess maybe in like 20 years when they're like, oh, you know, 1997. When they win a champion. Yeah, right. It's kind of like Steve Bartman. Yeah.

Like, if they win the big one, then they can bring him back in the parade and be like, we forgive you. But he just ruined his home. Like, it would be so much better if Scott Frost had gone somewhere else. And the illusion of being the guy who saves Nebraska is always out there, but never actually prove it.

I don't like their jerseys that they were wearing, where they had the fake mesh on the numbers. Because like, it looks cool from a distance, but then when you see the close-ups of it, you're like, that's bullshit. That should, if you're going to have that design, it should actually be. They should wear the old jerseys.

Like, the old Russell Athletic ones that have those giant holes cut out on them. Can't be any worse. No. And it's sad. I want Nebraska to be good. The saddest part about Nebraska is like, we like to joke about Texas being back,

Notre Dame being back, Tennessee being back. No one even makes a joke about Nebraska being back. No one's even like, if they win a game, big game, like Nebraska's back. Because it's just, they're not even at that joke stage. You remember when they fired Bo Pellini, essentially, because he just cussed too much? Yeah.

Yeah, but they could take that one back. Just screaming at people. All right, Billy. My who's back is Nate Diaz. Yeah. Diaz had an awesome fight. There's so much sports this weekend. I watched that, too.

He was supposed to fight Komzot, but Komzot weighed in seven and a half pounds too much. That feels like it was intentional, right? That's Diaz. Well, it was crazy. What they did was they just shuffled all three of the main cars. So they just, all these guys were like at different weights,

and they just all just fought different guys. I think it's just crazy that you can miss weight by eight pounds. Yeah. It's, it was definitely on purpose. You didn't want to get zaz beat. Yeah. I mean, Komzot manhandled his guy. I forget who he fought.

But I mean, Nate Diaz fights are some of the best fights I've ever watched. I also. Even if he doesn't win. I don't know if you guys saw, but one of the coolest UFC moments, the woman who ended her fight with a heel kidney shot. Oh, yeah.

Crumpled her opponent. Livers. Like those are my favorites. Literally thought her opponent was going to die. Deliver. Heel shot. She was on the ground and she just healed right into her opponent's liver. And she just fucking fell like a bag of, I don't know what a bag falls.

Sack of potatoes. Sack of potatoes. Yeah. House of cards is what I was looking for. It's two o'clock. Deliver shots. Yeah. We were talking about that the other day.

I'm a freak. I'm an absolute freak for liver shot compilations. You got to watch this liver shot. Did you see it? I haven't seen it yet. Oh my God. Just type in heel liver shot. Heel liver shot.

It was so sick. So sick. Because they don't know for a second when they get hit. Yeah. Kicks in two seconds later. It happened so fast that I was like, oh, did she hit her in the pussy? Okay. Because like that's illegal.

And but then you're like, no, she liver shot at her. And it always has a sound. Heel liver kick. Here we go. Wait. This is a minute 30 seconds. Get to the heel. All right.

Go ahead, Jake. While he's watching. My who's back is Levy on Bell. Yeah. He washed out Adrian Peterson. A lot of spots. I didn't even see this. I guess it was really late and I woke up.

I saw it. I was up for the game of the year. Yeah. I saw it like all these things came and went. Yeah. Awesome. That's good. That's a good liver shot.

Yeah. Yeah. So that was an interesting video. And by the way, reminder next weekend, it's the defending champion, Max Homa, defending his Fortnite championship. Oh, I'm going to bet on Max. And this is, this also.

And he might have a baby. Yeah. I think he's, it's a baby turn and a half. So the PGA tour off season is a week. Two weeks. Well, when you're really good. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. This is when Max, you're a golfer. Yeah. Also, but also. No, it's awesome. There's a presence. Oh, I know what I'm saying. What do you think they do in the off season?

Yeah. But the real players don't play in the Fortnite. That's why we, this is our time to shine. Defending champions. We dominate this time. So just a reminder, next Sunday, in addition to football, we're going to have the water dogs and Max Homa, hopefully. No, he's going to win.

Yeah. So hopefully he's involved on Sunday. Oh yeah. He did tell me last week. Yeah. He told me on Friday, he said, I guarantee that I win. Oh, there we go. So lacrosse golf and football next Sunday.

Do you think, tweet him and be like, thanks for guaranteeing. I'm going to bet on you. Do you think Max Homa is going to boycott the president's cup? Because he thinks Joe Biden's illegitimate. I saw he was named to it. Oh, he did say that. Yeah, he did say that as well.

I have a stupid question. What? I know. Is the Fortnite cup. It's not actually the Fortnite. It's- Wait, do you want to ask the question? Okay, sorry.

Is it, one, is it golf? Two, is it named after Fortnite the game? Yeah. Three, none of the above. Okay, first, answer your first question. Is it golf? Yes. It's Fortnite?

Fortinet is a cyber security company. So that's on you guys. Well, it's a Tim Kennedy, Tom Kennedy thing. I actually think it's the Fortnite. Shadow Klaus. Yeah, right. Like, we just make these jokes, and then eventually they just become reality.

It's an anagram. Yeah. And we're like, Hestum of it, the rest of me. For tonight. I hate to live it with some fava beans. All right, let's do numbers. Numbers are brought to you by our friends

at Paramount Plus. We are giving away a free subscription to Paramount Plus. It is on the YouTube. NFL on CBS streaming live on Paramount Plus all season long, kicking off September 11th. Give it away. One code for a free Paramount Plus account

so you can watch along with us. See the graphic on the screen for the code. Go to ParamountPlus.com to start your free trial to watch your live local NFL on CBS game every Sunday, as well as additional exclusive NFL content. Random numbers. I'm not guessing.

Why? No, you have to. Hank, you have to. It's sponsored. Hank, you have to. It's sponsored. I think they would. Corporate Hank, you have to.

Respect the integrity. No, you have to. I'm showing. You have to. I can't win. You can't win. You have to. I cannot win.

Do it. I can't win. Do it. 101. No. Hank, I'm going to be mad at you if you do. If you just say a number. Memes has three.

Max, Max is falling asleep. You're fucking, what is it? 56. Say it. I don't want to. I'm thinking of a number. I want to choke you right now. I actually want to choke you.

You have to do this. They're paying us money to do this. PFC, what's your number? I'll give you a second to think. I'm going to take whatever Hank does minus one. OK. 26. 1.

Billy, it takes none. OK, Hank picked 1. You have 2? Yeah, I'll take 2. All right. I'll take 4. So we have 1 through 4. 0 can be picked or no?

Is 0 in there? Oh. 4. No. Is that me? Yeah. Yeah. Nice.

Put it on the record book. Oh. That was crazy. Kind of Mickey Mouse, but. I don't care. Actually, no what, yeah. Yeah, fuck it. No, because if Hank gets it.

If Hank got it, that would have been definitely Mickey Mouse. I'll be honest. I don't have a record book ever on our system for how many times you've gotten it. We just keep honeydicking, yeah. We just keep honeydicking, yeah. We just keep honeydicking, yeah. We just keep honeydicking, yeah.

So he thinks this is real. Big 4. Yeah, 4. Big 4, Hank. Well, that was. You were close. I mean, that was too close. That was damn.

Hank, you really. But that also was like, only because of what you said and then what PFT said and the memes already taken 3. Yeah. I was boxed into 4. You're so close memes. Good pick, Hank. Memes, if you want it.

No. What? No. Cut that. Hank is the only one who's never won it. All right. We will see everyone on Wednesday with Ryan Fitzpatrick.

Football's back. Love you guys. Crows are capable of racketeering. All for the gram. It's just love the gram. Oh, wait. Shit. Take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take on me, take

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