Pardon My Take - NFL Week 1, Fastest 2 Minutes, The Bears Will Always Lose To The Packers, Max Finally Beats Hank And The Cowboys Rolls

Episode Date: September 11, 2023

We're back with the Fastest 2 minutes for NFL week 1. We then break down every game from Sunday (00:00:00-00:09:46) Commanders 20, Cardinals 16 (00:09:46-00:18:14) Browns 24, Bengals 3 (00:18:14-00:24:30) 49ers 30, Steelers 7 (00:24:30-00:31:07) Bucs 20, Vikings 17 (00:31:07-00:42:35) Jaguars 31, Colts 21 (00:42:35-00:50:19) Saints 16, Titans 15 (00:50:19-00:54:21) Falcons 24, Panthers 10 (00:54:21-01:01:31) Dolphins 36, Chargers 34 (01:01:31-01:07:34) Ravens 25, Texans 9 (01:07:34-01:12:24) Rams 30, Seahawks 13 (01:12:24-01:16:17) Raiders 17, Broncos 10 (01:16:17-01:21:20) Packers 38, Bears 20 (01:21:20-01:33:07) Eagles 25, Patriots 20 (01:33:07-01:45:40) Cowboys 40, Giants 0 (01:45:40-01:49:53) We then finish up with who's back of the week. (01:49:53-02:04:27)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, part of my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen, add free on Amazon music. On today's part of my take, it is week one of the NFL season. It's great to be back. We're going to talk about every single game. You're going to get sad boy big cat. You're going to get sad boy, victory Monday for PFT,

for Jake, for Max. We're gonna break it all down, we're gonna do who's back of the week, and of course we're gonna start it with fastest two minutes because we are back in football season and we're brought to you by our friends at Game Time, the exclusive ticketing partner, Barstool Sports Created by fans, four fans.

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game time app or go to the website, enter your email, redeem code PMT for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Download the Game Time app or go to the website, enter your email and redeem code PMT for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Okay, let's go. Boy! Now in the street there is violence And then a lot of stuff worth to be done

No place to hang out or washing And then again they all understand Oh no, we're gonna rock it down too He let me trick I venue And then we'll take it higher Oh, no, we're gonna rock it down too. E-L-T-R-E-R-E-U. And then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're gonna rock it down too. E-L-T-R-E-R-E-U. It's part of my take.

There's an abarcital sports. Welcome to part of my take. Today is Monday, September 11th, and it is week one. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? Pfft. Bumble. Some? Right.

If not, gonna get him. Dig, dig, dig, dig. We start in the steel city where the 49ers pulled up their pants and said, fuck sag as they destroyed the line and the picket. Nick Bosa, fresh off his mega contract, could be seen on the sidelines yelling, let's go Brandon as I you scored twice in the first half. Barack Obama, Purdy was gay. As unhappy, after beating the Steelers, 30 to 7. Down to Atlanta, where Anne Frank Ruck back at it again, being beat by men in black and red uniforms.

Pardon me, but you have an eagre pupon, as B-Zhan muster Robinson put some sauce on it, and hotdog his way into the end zone, as the D-Flids couldn't catch up and O'Rallis his first professional score as the D looked like bonds. Falcons 24 the Perthers turn. That was Bony Boom. To the great white North where Kirk Cousins seemed like Philip Rivers when he was looking to add a son as he hooked up with Jordan for a deep score in the first half. Trey Balmer had the Vikings defense looking Microsoft as the Bucks are clearly developers, developers to let out of talent. Justin Jefferson could be seen pounding on the sideline after the loss as he stared at a tablet,

listing all the guaranteed money Kurt Cousins has made in his career. Son spread. B 20, Viking 17. We had over to Raujon Maryland, where Jack Dorrio was seen defending the nation's capital after a peaceful transfer of power from Dan Snyder to Josh Kamala Harris, turning to former Redskins coach saying, we did it, Joe Gibbs. The Cardinal's defense shift themselves

and had a howl movement when Sam scored a game when he touched down. Josh Dobbs committed a costly fumble as Bald don't lie committing a Cardinal sin and Losting the football game. Commanders 20 the Cardinal's 16 In Indianapolis where Trevor Lawrence said nothing comes between me and my Calvin as the whitey played against tidy as they briefly looked like they were going to drop one against the Colts when Buckner scooped up the ball like it was a Pina Jennings ice cream and the entire stadium screamed wrong deforestation run. Unfortunately Jenny had AIDS in the Colts lost. Jaguar's 31, cult's 21. They send in me to Vietnam.

Jenny, it's his holiday country. She had AIDS. That was best be comfortable shoes. We have a special guest boomers from both sides of the Patriots Eagles game. First stop, Hank. What? What?

We go over to New England, why before the game? Patriots nation were treated to a tribute to Tom, terrific Brady, seven time Super Bowl winner, and fellow attendee of the catch. The game started less than terrific for New England, as Darius Sleibitch caught a tip, caught a wet, wet tip ball, it took it 70 yards to the house for a touchdown. Hutter Henry Lockwood looked like a sex icon and certified stud. Putting the pants on the board with a second quarter touchdown. Kendrick Holy shit, that's Jason Bourne.

Caught two touchdowns and in the fourth quarter, Jalen Scorch's let them all leak out of his hands for a fumble. The Nick Eye of Sauronani couldn't see the right decision and decided to go for it on a fourth down, giving the Patriots a chance to catch up, catch a win for Tom, TP12, but they couldn't do it and came up short. Eagles win, 25-20. Oh, that's great. Only a couple of misreads, boom.

Great job, boom. We head back to Foxboro. We're fucking here, it he has legend Tom Brady got Gotta watch whack Jones take on the Eagles Ezekiel Smelly it started off his Patriots career Yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-um-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-um-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-um-yum-yum-yum- Newly single Bill Belichek was looking for some booty, but got left hanging with one foot in the air. It goes 25, picture it's 20. Good job, boom. Good job, boom. Good job, boom's all around.

We head out to LA where Vic only Fangeo didn't get any picks. You have to pay extra for those, but just like the rest of the internet, he'll show you all the free D you can handle. Tyric Hill is the most dangerous guy with a geographical name since Cliff Huxley. It was the battle in Los Angeles as Kellan in the name of Moore said, Fuck you I won't do it to tell me, fuck you I won't do it to tell me, fuck you I won't do it to tell me, fuck you I won't do it to tell me, fuck you I won't do it to tell me, fuck you I won't do it to tell me, Fuck you alone too, it's a tell me! Fuck you alone too, it's a tell me! Fuck you alone too, it's a tell me!

Put the charges lost, 36-34. In the windy city where just steps away from Lincoln Park, I put my just in you fields pushed as far as he could go. But in the end, it doesn't even matter. And like Lincoln Park fans, it becomes so numb and wish they could just T.J. Moore, Packers 38, Bears 20. Standing on the corner, James Winston down in Nola sides to find side to see.

It's Tennessee, my Lord, putt and points on the board, kicking meaningless late FGs. Come on, Ryan, you got us crying. Anyone we've ever said you early was both a slide. It's week one for all of us. Say it's go marching 16, 15. We're in score boom. And that was week one in the books brought to you

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Check out Chevy Silverado and the family of Chevy ZR2s the official trucks apart my take. Okay, week one in the books minus a great Monday night game, which we will get to later. the box minus a great Monday night game, which we will get to later. We have a lot to talk about. We do. People are expecting a very sad me. I will. I will be sad. Yeah, by saying I do love football and it's so good to have you back football. I love football as well. I will get to being sad and so we'll hank, but we have to talk about every game because that's what we do on on Sunday nights for the Monday show.

And I was thinking about ordering the games PFT and the biggest win in the early games because we always go chronological order. Washington commanders 20 Arizona Cardinals 16. I love that. I love that. Thank you, big cat. Everyone was talking about the commanders in the card of today. It was it was circled. It should have been the national game. People were very upset that it wasn't. But yeah, we're one and oh. I get a lot of people being like,

hey, PFT, you guys beat the Cardinals. Why are you celebrating? You beat the Cardinals, they're trying to tank. Congratulations on being a tanking team. We won, we're one and oh. You're one and oh. And your owner showed that he can give a handshake. He was shaking everyone.

All the hands. He was stunting on all the haters. He was walking up and down the aisle, shaking every hand that he can give a handshake. He was handshaking everyone. All the hands. He was stunting on all the haters. He was walking up and down the aisle shaking every hand that he saw. He looked like he looked like someone in his PR team was like, hey, you know what happened with Joe Buck? Week one, home game, let's get you pounded in some flesh. He looked like he was the Iowa caucus,

just shaking everyone in the stadium's hands being like, look at it look it left hand right hand He was doing it all left hand is strictly for being up right hand is the is the handshake hand for him I was on box watch. I'm on box watch all year with Josh Harris because he's got a lot of dudes in his box Yes, he had Joelle and beat in his box, which is interesting. Jimmy Butler in his box Jimmy Butler was not in his box Got it, but KD was in his box Michael Rue maybe in his box Maybe KD telling Jimmy Butler, hey, here's how you forced your way out of town.

If you're interested in leaving, I thought that was an interesting conversation that probably happened. Alex Vechkin was in his box. Nice. Sonny Jirginsson was in his box. Nice. Magic Johnson was in his box.

You should probably get tested. Careful. The D is legit. The D is legit in DC. So legit. We have an awesome defense I'm not gonna apologize again for beating the Cardinals our defensive line is fucking awesome We're probably amongst the best in the league

I would put us right up there with the New York Jets with the best defense line without chase young without chase young Well chase young is that is most impactful when he's on the sidelines He's wearing those shorts that are all hiked up like a towel around his neck He's got like a 50 year old gym teacher hiked going on with his shorts, and he just looks jacked up and intimidating on the sidelines. He's a great teammate from the sidelines, but I mean, I do think that the defense is better

without Chase Young to a certain extent, because when you're taking into account salary, who would you pay? Montes sweat, who's fucking awesome, and always plays or Chase Young, who never plays. Yeah, it's a good question. You're probably going to pay Montess sweat. So, yeah, I think the defense is legit.

Sam Howe did enough? Sam Howe, he played just good enough to not lose. And I think if he can be average, if Sam can say average, we should win like 9, 10, maybe 11 games this year. So. The game got hairy when Sam Howe did a Carson right in the in the shadow of the end zone, which was not the most opportune time to be like, I'm going to get out of this pass rush. Watch me do this six spin move. But yeah, he he had moments. He flashed. But yeah, the

defense is what you guys are going to rest your head on all year. The second half, the commanders held the Cardinals to three points in 93 yards. Yeah, it was pretty, pretty dominating performance. And so ice the game or one of the last plays of the game, Jonathan Allen, Sack, Josh Stobbs with his ass, he's like back to his ass right into the knocked him down. There's a big ass that's hitting you if you're, if you're Josh Stobbs. The defense for the Arizona Cardinals looked like they were pissed off that they're in tanking mode. The defense.

Jonathan Ganon. Should we apologize? Because I think Jonathan Ganon, because of the pew, pew, pew electric shots, we think like he's an offensive coach. He's a defensive coach, obviously. That defense was way better than I thought it was going to be. Yeah, the defense was good, but they were also playing really pissed off. They were doing like late hits and going after Sam Howe's head a little bit.

My favorite move, by the way, when a defensive player hits a sliding quarterback in the head, sometimes they'll pretend to be injured two for a second. So they're like, hey, you don't penalize me. God's already penalizing me for, I'm dealing with karma right now, I'm not that hit, and I'm hurt too,

so please don't throw the flag. It's a two car car crash. Yeah, the play of the game was by the official in the first half When Sam how was scrambling to the sidelines he gets lit up going out of bounds Knox the ref over the ref had to go out of the game But the ref hits his arm. He's got blood all over his hand He's laying flat on his ass and then he just sits up and immediately throws a flag He was the undertaker. It was the undertaker gift in real life

He did it and then did his job and then called for the cart to come over and take him off the field. So that dude's awesome. He rocks, but it was like a I was watching Sam how play today and he was playing at the same time as Brock Purdy. And I think it's Desmond Ritter too. The three lowest paid starting quarterbacks in the NFL all won today. The highest paid quarterbacks six out of the eight of the highest paid quarterbacks in the NFL lost today.

Should we defund the quarterbacks? That's a good question. Defund the QBs, many people are asking. Now two out of three of those guys played against bottom bottom teams, but that's, yeah. That's true. Yeah, because the Panthers and the Cardinals. Big head, I'm cherry picking a stat

to try to form a narrative. I like it, yeah. Yeah, this is like the, it's better to not have a really good high paid wide receiver. Yes, exactly. No team has ever won a Super Bowl with a high paid wide receiver. You should just draft a quarterback in,

with the last pick of the draft every year, and then he's gonna be the lowest paid guy in your team, and then you can win Super Bowl. I mean, there is something to be said, we're kind of going, you know, every year, it's like, how do you build the team through the trenches? We found with the running back, obviously, that was a whole story. Now, you

know, Brock Purdy and Sam Howell, I wouldn't put Brock Purdy and Sam Howell on the same spot. You did have a moment where you're like, Brock Purdy's the guy I want everyone to know. I said, put the word out there. Yeah, and then he had Sam Howell's legit. Or Sam Howell's the guy. And then he had a couple plays that were like, oh, geez. But, yeah, maybe, maybe we're just slowly, the cliche of build through the trenches. We're gonna defund every position, but edge rushers and left tackles. I was gonna say defund the Cubes, pay your defense vans, pay a left tackle and then pay a tight end. Yeah.

And if you have a game changer at those positions, then you're gonna be good. Yeah, you're good. But I knew the Cardinals were in trouble when we, when the game flipped on and Matt Praitor and his all reds with his little belly, Untuck Jersey was kicking off. That's a tough look. The red is tough if you're a fat guy.

Yeah, they had an off into Lyman that had a little belly overhang there. It looked like the cool laidman. Yeah, those are some nasty uniforms that Cardinals wore to that. Yeah, you can't do, I feel like the color rush on a non Thursday night and just doesn't really play. I have a question for Big Cat.

Do you think that Dan Snyder watched this game? Uh, no. He's on a yacht in Malaysia. So I don't know what the time difference is gonna be there, but I hope that he watched it. If he watched it, I hope he was rooting for the card.

Oh, for sure. 100% he was rooting for the cardinals and he was watching it. You know what, he probably did this move. If he watched it, he would see like all the superstars that were there How excited the stadium was and he'd probably be like just wait Josh They'll turn on you to just like they turned on me for no reason whatsoever. Yeah, you think that you think that half I have praise hot dogs will get you

I actually think the insider might be watching the NFL not even rooting against the commanders He's just rooting for like More to Marhamland situations or concussions to just end football NFL not even rooting against the commanders. He's just rooting for like more to Marhamlin situations or concussions to just end football. Yeah, he's rooting for everyone in football. He wants football to end. He's rooting for the the complete and utter demise of the list. He's probably going to go around to like youth football camps passing out flyers about how football is dangerous for your son's health.

Yeah, you shouldn't let him do this. You should like the very dangerous sport. Yeah, did you see that Will Smith movie? Yeah, people are talking about it. Tode to truth. Tode to truth. Tode to truth. Uh, okay. So good win for the commanders. Congratulations to you. Um, actually, my player of the game on offense goes to Tressway. Yeah. The punter and the holder. He had two great holds today. And when you see that happen in the game, you realize that being a holder is probably a very, very difficult job. It's all pressure. It comes back so fast and it bounces off the ground sometimes. You have to reach up and then you have to spin it and put it down in the exact spot. I feel like that's one of the small things in football that we take for granted when we

watch it on TV. I mean, split second. Yeah. Tony Romo. Yeah. Sucked as a holder. Yeah. That iconic moment with the ball was shiny. It was very, yeah, it wasn't the right ball, right? It was slippery. Okay, so next game, Browns 24, Bengals 3, I'll lead off with Jamar Chase's quote, after the game, he said, I'm just frustrated because I called them fucking elves and we just lost to some elves. So he had a lot of choice words for the city of Cleveland and the franchise of Cleveland before this game.

And then the Bengals got absolutely worse game of Joe Boros career, which sucks because it happened right after he got 217 million guaranteed. Or maybe it's good because it's like, what if he just had to get the money and then he's like, wait, I had jokes on you guys. Listen, if you gave me that much money, you'd be lucky if I showed up.

That's true. You'd be lucky if I was alive in three days. Yes. So it was a really, really bad game for the Bengals. And I do, there's times when I feel smart, most of the time I don't, because I'm a terrible gambler, but I said on the show on Friday, if you watched the Bengals last year, week one,

when Joe Burrill missed the majority of preseason, they had he had four interceptions, gets a bad Steelers team, I think they're gonna struggle again today, and they struggled very, very, like, that was a hard game to watch. He was ugly, he was very ugly. What do you think Jamar Chase meant

when he said Cleveland is a city of elves? I don't know, I think it's the logo. I think it's the logo. Brownie the elf at midfield, but what do you mean a city of elves? I don't know. I think it's the logo. I think it's the logo. Brownie the elf at midfield, but what do you mean the city of elves? I don't know. He also said,

Jamar Chase, Miles Garrett after the game, talking to Floreo, said that Jamar Chase was talking shit and said the Cleveland is Cleveland. Which it is, in fact, that is a fact, and that it was a mistake because it upset Miles Garrett and Garrett said, they'll cleveland is cleveland but we're gonna make that a great thing instead of what they're trying to make it out to be

so it sounds like miles garrard is here in cleveland is cleveland in thinking negative things about it right it's actually miles garrard's mind in the gutter like jimmar chase might have been complimenting he might have also just been like if you're looking for cleveland on the map look for the thing that says cleveland well there's there is some truth that I've in the past I haven't really believed when people are like, you know, some some cities are just loser cities. And you can say like the browns are the browns. To a certain extent that's that's sometimes true. Yes. There's a reason why certain cities are very good sports. We'll get to get to a couple later. But there was the one the one lineman from

the browns after the game was over Try to get into the fan suite to drink beers with them. They wouldn't let them in Oh, I love you was pounding on the glass being like let me in let me in and they're like, oh, no, sorry You can't come in here. He said they had a no white tease rule. So it went let them in. Oh, okay I'm very much looking forward to the browns next week though and in Pittsburgh I think they're gonna wear their all white uniforms. Oh, I, I mean, this game was the, the rain soft they are. Oh, you, you have a confirmed? Dude wipes.

Oh, dude wipes. Yes, that's right. Yeah. This game, the, the, uh, rain obviously factored into it because it looked miserable there, but the Sean Watson wasn't like, he had, I think the ball was tipped on his one-interception, but like to Sean Watson and Joe Burrow played in the same conditions.

He gets all the tip balls though. Yeah, he does Joe Burrow was I mean it was worst game was career Yeah, he had 82 yards passing it was the brown defense was really good Jim Schwartz Yeah, Jim Schwartz and the Browns defense is the story of this game because he had 82 Passing yards, but they also only had 75 rushing yards, right? They they just shut him down They looked and it was even like Jamar Chase and T Higgins who always win those one-on-one battles. We're not able to win those one-on-one battles.

And Jim Schwarzen is, he was probably all nipped out because a little chilly, but the Browns outside of losing Jack Conklin, which is pretty significant. Yeah. Looked like they might have kind of figured something out on defense and Josham Watson, not Texans to show him Watson, but better than last year's Browns to show him Watson. Yeah, he looked pretty good today. I'll say, he looked pretty good at times today.

Real X factor though, was Dr. Heat was in the crowd. Dr. Heat was slamming some bruski's pre-game. What was he doing in the munilot? Probably just yelling blitz. Yeah, blitz. Zero blitz the crowd. Dr. Heat was slamming some bruski's pre-game. What was he doing in the munilot? Probably just yelling blitz. Yeah, blitz. Zero blitz. Zero blitz. Zero blitz.

So Joe Borough, I hate to go, because I'm going to say something positive about the Bengals. But he had 31 pass attempts, 82 yards. That's the third fewest yards with 30 plus passing attempts since at least 1950. So again, it was a very bag day. They had 10 punts. It felt like they were just constantly punting

never even close to the end zone. But here's the positive. Like I said on Friday, the Bengals started slow last year. They started Oh and two. Because remember, they went to Cowboys week two and lost that game as well. They then won, including the playoffs up until the AFC championship game, they went 14 and two.

So I fully expect the Bengals to be there at the end of the year. It's just like I also expected this to be a slow start for them and they played about as bad as you can play. And if you're the Bengals and you were to be told before the season started, you're going to split the season series with the Browns. You'd probably take that. So because they can't you have your chance at home. They killed by the Browns. They can't beat the Browns, except for that one game last year.

But which was in Cincinnati, right? Yes, I think so. Because I don't think Joe Burrows ever won in Cleveland. No. So it's, yeah, it's the Browns kind of have their number. Yeah, and Nick Chubb was awesome today. He had 18 carries, 16 yards. That was a skill built for Nick Chubb.

Still doesn't wear gloves in the rain, which is nuts. It feels better. He likes that skin on skin contact. Yeah. That's how football is meant to be played. Yes. But yeah, Nick Chubb, another great game for him. He's just so much fun to watch. Yeah.

He's not trying to fucking a raincoat. He's not. No. Take a shower in a raincoat. Yeah. Yeah, or fucking a raincoat. That would be weird. Actually, that might be kind of hot.

Well, if I could wear it over my torso, I'd probably look better. Yeah, just wrap it around like a giant sash. Yeah, you don't see my gut. Uh, okay, so I'm high on the, if we're going arrows pointing, I'm high on the browns after one week, which I know it's overreaction. And I'm not changing my opinion on the bangles. I think they're one of the best team. You get the sideways arrow. It's completely sideways. Hillary Clinton Clinton I'm with her arrow. Expected a stinker. They delivered a stinker.

Let's see what happens next week. Yeah, the Browns look good. Kevin Stofansky, run the damn ball, man. Run the damn ball, and Jim Schwartz plays some defense. Run the damn ball and let those diamond cutters come out from Jim. Yeah, let them nip it out. Okay, let's smuggle in some raisins.

Next game, 49ers, Steelers. This was an absolute pasting. It was an ass kicking. It was an ass kicking through and through. From the get go, the Steelers didn't have their first, first down until 116 in the second quarter. And the 49ers, Brock Pertil looks healthy and it's so fucking ridiculous how good their roster is because when you when people talk about the 49ers, they talk about Christian

McCaffrey, they talk about Debra Samuel, they talk about our friend Greg Kittle, Brandon Ayuk, who is a first round draft pick, was unguardable today. Two touchdowns, completely unguardable. It's just, and then on the defensive side, you watch the 49ers play defense, and when they're humming, they are so violent and so fast. Everything, like, every hole is just, is completely stuffed in a second. They're flying around.

It just was a nice reminder, like, oh yeah, the 49ers, when they have a quarterback who can actually, who has an arm. And I'm talking about literally an arm because Brock Pretty didn't have one of the FC Championship game. They're the best roster in, in Pro Football. Yeah.

And I'm upgrading my Brock Pretty take from not just being good on the 49ers to just being a good quarterback. Yeah. I think he'd be, I think he'd be okay on any team. He wouldn't be as good obviously as he is on the 9ers because he fits that system perfectly and it's a very quarterback friendly system. But I think he's just a good quarterback. He was making some like

improvements. Improvizational. Yeah. Improvizational moves that he was making. He just could jump squaring his shoulders while moving. He keeps his shoulders parallel to the line of scrimmage at all times. And he also had an incredible, incredible fumble recovery behind the back. Yeah. After TJ Watt who was a monster of this game, he was like the lone bright spot for the Steelers, uh, absolutely manhandled him. So credit to him for that. He, I don't know how he kept his hands on that. Yeah. That was nuts.

He grabbed his arms behind his back. TJ Watt was trying to grab it from him and couldn't get it out of, out of the small of his back pretty much. Uh, I was talking to Jersey Jerry after the game because he was dismayed by what happened. He's pretty much given up on the entire season. But we were talking about some consolation stats. Like when your team loses, you want to find one guy when you could look at a stat line

and see a bright spot and just like look at the numbers that he put up. Yeah. And with this one, it's TJ Wat. If you're a Steelers fan, you can just open up the stat sheet tomorrow morning, instead of like reading the full recaps and just be like, yeah, there's nice three right there next to TJ Wat's name. That makes me feel better as a fan. He's on pace. What's, what's three times 17? You got this.

You got this. 51 51. Sad. Is that true? Yes. 34 plus tank. 51. 51 sacks. Is that true? Yes. 34 plus 17 is 51. Yeah, he's right. He's got him. I did, I did.

I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I doubted myself. TJ, what?

Look, how is the most impressive thing I've ever seen Hank do? On the fly. I have 17 math football math. Two things I got. That was the worst home loss in the Mike Tomlin era, which is crazy. Just shows how consistently good they are. But I don't, similar to, it's a little different

than the Bengals being like the Bengals are gonna be fine and they're gonna be there. I don't really like downgrade the Steelers for this. I think the Steelers are kind of just a middle of the pack team and they played one of the best teams in the NFL. The Steelers, a lot of people in Pittsburgh had some hope, but I don't really understand what they did with their offense in the off season. It's like they're doing the same stuff they did all last year.

They've tried nothing and they're all out of ideas. They've got Naji running the same like one yard pass reception routes where he's running out into the backfield catching a ball getting tackled because he hasn't looked that fast anymore. They're throwing the ball to the outside like five times a game to George Pickens where he'll make a spectacular catch that's a yard and a half out of bounds. Right. And then that's kind of their offense right now and it's it's it's very tough to watch. I went back and I looked at the stats though. I know Jake you had what was your your nerd stat

that nerd nugget? It was the first time in how many years that they've opened the season. It's 2014, first time at home. So, I looked at their home openers just in general. And they've lost five out of six of their last home openers. And the one home opener that they won was in 2020 when there were no fans there. So it's kind of weird. Like the Steelers usually get off to a rough start at home, but I don't see anything about this

team that makes me think like, you know what, they'll figure it out. They'll piece together the offense by week three. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But again, that's just a really tough team to play week one. Yeah. Well, according to Skip Bayless, who said, if the Super Bowl were today, the 49ers would win it easily. Who? I don't know. The Dallas Cowboys might have something to say about that. Yeah, well, according to Skip Bayless, who said, if the Super Bowl were today, the 49ers would win it easily. Ooh, I don't know if the Dallas Cowboys might have something to say about that. Yeah, we'll get to that game later, but yeah, that's true. Dallas Cowboys look pretty damn good. I still think the Steelers will be a decent team. They just played a really fucking good team. I think they'll be like seven and 10. Yeah, but it's Mike Tomlin. So they'll be as Mike. So correct. That's a nine and eight, nine and eight I think they'll be like seven and 10. Yeah, but it's Mike Tomlin. So there's my it's so correct. That's a nine and eight nine and eight. Cause they'll find a way.

Um, I did notice that can you pick it and Nick Bosa. They both got weird big helmets now. Yeah, it's almost too big. Kenny, your helmet's too big. We love you. You, you know, there'll be better days than today, but your helmet is too big. Do you think that if you don't play an important position like quarterback or a defensive end and you're like a third stringer? Like third string middle linebacker that doesn't get in the game and you're like a third stringer like third string middle linebacker that doesn't get in the game and you ask for one of the good helmets that protects your brain. Do you think they give it to you?

They probably only have a couple. Yeah. It feels like that's a science helmet. You got to ration that out. Yeah, right. Like that's what you want to be safe, but also you don't really, you don't really get any stats last year. So how safe do we really need you?

Like I wouldn't be surprised if they figured out a way to make an anti-concussion helmet, but it's like a B2 bomber, where it costs like $6 billion, so they can only give it to one guy. Yeah, stealth. Yeah, right. Or what they should do, they should make the helmets,

they probably do actually do this. They make like fake helmets that look like the good ones, that offer no protection whatsoever. And then they'll give it to like a bad player. I'd be like, here you go. We're keeping you safe and sound. Top of the line. Yeah, don't worry. Just run your head into the wall. You'll be great in this one. You'll be totally fine. Uh, okay. Thank God. Uh, I did a Hank tried to torture me by watching the end of this Giants Cowboys game. I did a line in the sand under on it Because of Tom Furnnelli Sunday night under sets his play and I almost lost it by the dumbest game ever We'll get to the Cowboys

Giants later, but it feels good to win one. It feels good to win one boys rats. It feels good to win one Okay, next game Box Vikings Kirk cousins. Yeah What about Kirk? We're already we're already here. All right. Let's say this You had a bad interception today a very bad interception doesn't really have a run game to work with and He also was under pressure all day

This is the new part of my take where we try to say nice things about Kirk cousins also Adam Shepard did tweet about How I think this is the eighth consecutive year that he took all his money guaranteed. Good for me. Like $230 million. So good for Kirk. That's a lot of sweaters from Target. But yeah, the Vikings, this was actually if you're a Vikings fan, this was probably the worst way to start out the season because everyone has been saying you went through last year, which was, you know, a great ride at moments during the regular season that obviously fell apart in the playoffs. And everyone's like, Hey, you can't win.

You this is unsustainable. You can't win all these close games. And then all off season, everyone's like, they're going to regress to the mean because you can't win all these close games. And what they do, they lost a close game to start the season. Yeah. Yeah. People are going to point at that for sure. I think that this was, I'm looking more at Baker in this game than I'm at Kirk. Because... Rean won is a new team.

Yeah, because Baker, I feel like his first start. I feel like his teammates love him. Yeah. The way that he was playing today, he was like lowering his shoulder, trying to run people over, which is gonna be great until he enters that shoulder again, and then he'll be out for a while.

But in the mean time. And in the mean time. And then he kind of picked it up. In the mean time, I feel like Baker would be a guy that you would like playing with. You'd be like, this guy is willing to put his body on the line and he's obviously like, he cares. Yeah.

Baker may feel it obviously cares about being a good quarterback. So, yeah, so it's Brown's Rams box. All his debut with all three of those teams he won and then Matt Roles, the only one who couldn't get that Baker Ratchet. Yeah, he looked weird in Panther's uniform. Yeah, he did. Everybody looks kind of weird in the Panther's uniform though.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, the box defense looked very good. I mean, they were all up in Kirk Hussin's face, all game. And yeah, I feel like the box might have been one of those teams that like, they felt a little disrespected because everyone's like, oh, they're going to suck. And they came out and proved that, hey, we're like, we can win the NFC South. Why not? Yeah, I feel like Baker was the best quarterback that nobody wanted this off season.

I'd agree. Like, he was, I think people threw him onto the bus way too soon. They put him on the junk heap too soon. Yes. I don't think he's going to be like a top five top 10 quarterback, but I think he'll be, he could be a good quarterback with that defense And then Mike Evans and Chris Godwin like they they absolutely can win the NFC South and they proved it today They went into Minnesota, which isn't an easy place to play it is kickers hitting 57 yarders bombs

Which are our resident bucks super fans Steven Che before the kick was like he does not have this He does not have it crushed it. yeah the bucks like Todd bowls you know good job Todd bowls you didn't do it we still don't know if you're alive but you won they could end up being okay I could see I mean the division that they plan seems like it could be wide open so I thought it was like it was kind of weird how everybody was talking about Mike Evans deserves better than this team before they even played it down a football. Yeah, that was really strange. It was like they better trade them because this team is going to be the bottom of the barrel.

Also Mike Evans has, is what is he like 31 or something? He's a half-im career and he's won a Super Bowl. I mean, it's not one of those situations where he's played on just bad teams for a decade. And like, you got to go find a ring. I think Mike Evans, he wants more money. He deserves more money. So he just, he said he's going to play out his contract. He's, he's, I love whenever they say like starting this date, we're done negotiating.

Do you think Mike Evans? Yeah. Well, I was going to say, because I know myself, like, I would definitely be one of those guys like, all right, starting September 7th, I'm done negotiating with my team. And then September 9th, when I met the hotel before week one, I'm texting the GMBN. But just maybe a couple million more, like, could we do it? And I just keep negotiating.

Or if you're a GM, you just go up to my Kevin's and be like, hey, I know that we're done negotiating, but we raised our price 5 million. Right. But we can't give it to you, sorry. Sorry. I would. I met. And. I would.

I met. And then you would, yeah, then the, the, uh, the glazers would match, but unfortunately, we can't do that at all. Yeah. Jason, like, if you're listening to this, let Mike Evans know that whatever you were offering him, PFT and I would match that. But unfortunately, he kind of goes, I was going to offer Mike Evans $200 million to do a podcast.

I was going to say $400 million. Yeah. Well, then I, yeah, well, we're gonna match by 200. Yeah, but unfortunately he won't accept it at this point. Yeah, I was gonna give Mike Evans, Dave actually, I was with him in Tuscaloosa this weekend, and we were talking about it, and Dave was like, should we just give Barcell to Mike Evans?

And I was like, we should, but we can't negotiate. He won't accept it right now. He won't do it right now. Like we'll have to wait. So I was gonna give him Stephen Che as his personal slave. Yeah, so put, but unfortunately, can't accept it right now. He won't do it right now. Like we'll have to wait. Yeah. I was gonna give him Steven Che as his personal slave. Yeah, so put it. Unfortunately, it can't take it. Che, can you please report that that Barstool Sports

was willing to be given to Mike Evans, but he's done negotiating. You can report it tomorrow, so it's unfortunate for us. It is. It's too bad I really wanted to get the company to him. Yeah. Mike Evans probably does want to get paid more just so that he can afford more money to give for Jim Bofischer's buy him. Yeah. Um, Mike, if it's probably does want to get paid more just so that he can

afford more money to give for Jim Bofischer's buyout. Yes. Just like just to see that fun. That's any text is an in-player that's in the NFL right now. You should hold out immediately and everybody get an extra million dollars, put it in a big community pot and then try to buy out Jim Bofischer. Yes. Yes. Get it. Get it done right now. Um, all right. So yeah, the box. I was impressed by the box I was impressed by the box. I do have one question. Did you see Justin Jefferson after the game? Yeah, he was He was looking like he lost the football game. I'd agree The it will be made into something more than it is because I'm not gonna do the like Justin Jefferson's upset He's mad. He also he didn't like he went off at the first half and I think you only had two catches in the second half. But yeah, it looked like

he lost week one and he was pissed that he lost because he's the best or one of the best receivers in the NFL. And he probably like every great wide receiver thought he should have had the ball more. Yeah. But I that's a normal thing. Like I'm not going to make more out of that than what it is. So big head, are we are we losing the Diva wide receiver? I think that's we're trying to grasp on just exactly. Yes, that's exactly right. Like we were we were so lucky for such a long time

with a great list of just insane wide receivers that we could always be like, look at this Diva. Yes, like yo, Randy mom, Antonio Brown, Antonio Brown, O'Dell, when he, you know, maybe if he gets, I don't think he's good enough to be a Diva though. I know. If he, if he started acting like a Diva, they'd be like, you're an asshole. Right.

We don't need you. I know. But yeah, we do, I feel like there's, there's no true Diva number one wide receiver in the NFL. Yeah, even like Jamar Chase flirting with the whole like, why called them fucking elves. That didn't really even make that many headlines. It just made him sound like he was in Lord of the Ring. Yeah, yeah, it made sound like he lost to a bunch of elves.

Yeah, who would be, Jake, can you try to figure that out for us? Who is the biggest Diva wide receiver right now? Oh man. Because the NFL take ecosystem desperately needs, but they have to be elite. Yeah, a guy that'll like slap his coach in the face, and then, George Pickens, if he gets good,

could be a, he's on, he's on diva watch. He's got that diva in him. He's my number one pick for next up, in the diva draft. In the diva draft, but it's not even, he's not in diva, he's just wired different.

Yeah, I feel like. There's a difference between diva and wired different. Yeah, because Antonio Brown, Vante's perfect wired Differ. Yeah. Because Antonio Brown, Vante's perfect Wired him different. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like he was not as Diva and then he became that way. I think he was always a little bit weird though.

You never know. He was definitely a little bit weird. But he wasn't like pulling his dick out in a public swimming pool weird. Correct. Correct. That definitely makes it. You remember when he lived with Tom Brady? Yeah.

I wondered if this shit Tom Brady saw. That was Brady. Yeah, I wonder the shit Tom Brady So it's crazy. Yeah, who do you got Jake? I mean, I'm just looking at top receivers in the league Tyree stuff on dig Tyree cuz he did a couple tendons. He did slap like a seven-year-old guy in his face this off season So there's that yeah, yeah, that's not No, no, no, we need we need somebody yeah, Cooper, yeah, Cooper, you think Cooper Cup is a diva? Oh, that'd be great. I love that. We do need, you know who?

DK. DK, little bit of a diva. DK could definitely be a diva. Diva K, Metcash is what people are calling them out there. All right, do us a favor, DK, just get a little more diva to you. Yeah, we like it. Do the piss celebration. Yeah, hold out.

I swear to you guys, there's no one that really stands out. It was so fun though. When every offseason that would that would take up like the uh, that contract extension portion of the offseason where you spend like two weeks talking about math. Instead, you'd have Terrell Owens doing sit ups in his driveway and like calling Andy Rita Pig. Yeah, really awesome. Randy Mossy, you know, saying straight cash homey in the in the parking lot. Yeah. I have one who came back today, Michael Thomas. Definitely could be in that.

For sure. He needs to play again, but like all the injury stuff and you know, someone's Twitter like he definitely could be in there. He's more of like a, yeah, a ER wide receiver though. Yeah. Spins. How many weeks do you think he's gonna play this year?

I don't know. That's a good question. It is fun seeing him on the field. It's like five? Oh, I remember Michael Thomas. Yeah. Yeah, you get a big catch start game. It's five, five, five weeks.

That's good. All right, before we get to the next game, let's take a quick break for an ad, a couple ads. Yeah, before we get back to the games, I want to call attention attention all small business owners. If you have five to 500 employees, you are a responsible business owner who continue to pay taxes. You employed staff during the pandemic and Omega counting solutions is a small business

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Okay, let's get back to games. Next up, very fun game. Jags 31, Colts 21. My first thought from this game is I forgot how fast and awesome Calvin Ridley is. Yeah, he's really good. He's really fucking good. He's gonna make that offense home.

I would like to walk back and take permission to walk back and take. Yes, please. I think Trevor Lawrence might be better than Justin Fields. Yeah. I just like to start with, listen, I had a lot of kidney stones for the last couple of years and I finally pissed the last one out last night.

So it was probably the stones talking last year. Now that I'm kidney stone free and I'm thinking clearly I will now admit I think I think Trevor Lawrence is pretty damn good. He's pretty damn good. The the Zay Jones pass. He had another one to ingrown like and he also was like the cult defense was actually kind of in his face all day because the Jags offensive line without Cam Robinson who's who's serving a four game suspension looks a little little light but yeah Trevor Lawrence here you go PFT you ready for this? Yeah crazy stat Trevor Lawrence has won four straight AFC South Games that's the longest streak in Jags quarterback history

yep four four four uh Chaps did send that to me as the sad Jags dad of the day. Yeah. It is, it's shocking to think that that's never happened before. But when you think about it, I don't think that the Jags were in the AFC South for their entire existence. Yeah. I feel like they were in, they were in like the mid, the Midwest, the Central. Were they in the Central when they first started?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know, but yeah, congratulations to Jaguars. You're good. Before the 2002 season, the Texans didn't exist. The Coltblancs, the AFC East, the Boxer Jags, were in the AFC Central. Boxer in the, the NFC Central. Really?

Yeah, the Jags, looks, their offense looks really good. Their defense still is suspect, but this is like a Pete Prisco. The schedule is very easy. Yeah. So they took care of business against Colts team that I'll say this for Colts fans. This is the 10th straight year that you've lost week one, but I would guess this is probably the best one. This is the best loss you've had week one, because Anthony Richardson, well, not obviously a finished product, had a couple big mistakes,

had that interception when he got the ball back down three with five minutes left. There were flashes there where instead of trotting out Jacobi Per set or Phil Rivers or Matt Ryan or Carson Wentz, you at least have something to be optimistic about. So even though you lost, you have a young quarterback who's 21 years old, who you can be excited about, and maybe he grows into being the guy. And also, spend zone for the colds, you look good against future Super Bowl participants, the Jacksonville Jaguars, both Pusko. Yes. Other notes from this game, Tank Bigsby with an all-time dumb, dumb dumb play He just Trevor Lawrence fumbled and he picked up the ball was standing there with it and then got stripped of it And it turned into a cult defense of touchdown that was That's just a rookie zero point zero situational awareness. Yeah, that was a there was the forest Buckner touchdown

Right. Yes, no matter what what football field the force book nurse on He's always the biggest guy out there. Yeah, you can always spot him across the across the entire stadium It's like okay that giant out there is the force book and are playing in a stadium filled with giants Yes, but I thought the cults like as They lost by ten, but it was also one of those games They were in it in the fourth quarter and it was back and forth Yeah, and they showed some fight and I was like yeah the cult be, I'm going to put the Colts into my frisky category. I would agree with that.

And Anthony Richardson looked like he was like, he's definitely one of the best athletes out on the field at any given time. Hank will agree with that. He looked good running the ball. He looked decent throwing the ball at times. Yeah. At times. It's definitely it was an ultimate rookie like start where it's like, there's moments that you can look at. If you're a cult fan and say, holy shit, this is what we drafted him for. This is what the future looks like.

And there's moments where you're saying, oh yeah, that's right, he's a rookie and very raw. Well, also, he's on pace to match Peyton Manning's career record for the Indianapolis Colts, right? Yes. Because Manning, his first year lost like every game that he played. But not the interception record.

Not the interception record. So he's actually ahead of what paid Manning was. Better than paid Manning. As a rookie, yes. I think he's the youngest guy to ever throw and run for a touchdown, too. That's pretty cool. 21 years old. All right.

Yeah. I think the youngest guy since like 1940, which doesn't count. That doesn't count. Well, it's either way long go step before they even start passing the ball or the answer is normed in Brooklyn. Right. And also 1940, a 21 year old quarterback is about to die.

Yeah. So that's what middle ages, you die at like 45. Or like all the other 21 year olds were overseas. Right. Right, exactly. So yeah, best week one, Colts loss in the last decade. I would agree with that. And there's a lot of two decades, banner.

Yeah, hang the banner. You might have to hang a banner. That was the best loss. Yeah. Also, shout out to the baby Ursaes that attended this game. There was some very funny submissions out there. Yes. Uh, I have one note, though, for Shane Stuykin.

I like what he did. His team was flying around. It feels like Anthony Richardson is the guy in terms of the locker room, which you obviously want to see right away with your rookie quarterback. Like guys feel drawn to him. I appreciated it because I had the cults,

I bet the cults in the game. Maybe when you're down 10, don't have Anthony Richardson running the ball with like 50 seconds left. Yeah, I felt that he got hurt and Shane's like an afterwards said that he's not, he's fine. But if you're going to have a running quarterback, maybe time and place situation. Yeah, that was tough when they put Gorderman shooting the game. And there's longer.

And your hair's longer and you got to go out there and oh yeah, actually kind of need this to win the entire game but you only get one play. And I really needed it. Well, you end up getting go for one. I think he had one attempt, right? Yeah, but he there was a penalty so he got a couple plays. Oh that's right. Yeah. It was maddening to watch. That was I forgot how much like when we started watching the games at noon. I think I said out loud in the first corner. I was like I love watching football but none of my bets matter because I know it's all gonna come down in the last two minutes And then it all came down in the last two minutes I got my heart ripped out like over and over. I'm gonna be fair because last year

I think we gave their home opener. They got a win out of that the cool stud I think in a loss, but wait they lost 10 straight week ones. No, they're home opener. No, yeah, they're home It was it was against the chiefs oh yeah we didn't we gave credit to jimmer say because he opened up the roof of the stadium right and the glare from the sun caused a fumble by sky more which meant that they won the game right jimmer say inexplicably kept the roof closed for the home opener you can't do

that mister there are storms you're smarter than that treated about their storm there were storms. There were storms. Yeah, there were storms. Were they like a figment of his imagination? No, actually reigning. He said third quarter, there's gonna be some storms we've got to keep the roof closed. That's tough.

That's tough. God is the 12th man. He needs to watch his colds play. Yeah, but hang a banner, colds fans. That is the best week one loss you've had in the last 10 years, which have all been week one losses. Congratulations. And the the Jags, which have all been week one losses. Congratulations. And the the Jags, the people are just going to be right.

They might just schedule their way to the schedule. Look at the schedule. They're, their defense is not that good and they're often. But Josh Allen better. Yeah. I think Josh Allen had three sex day. Yeah. So they can get after you think it'll lead.

Yeah. Only 12 more wins till the season's not a disaster. Why? Oh, yeah, that's right. It's going to be a 13. Oh, yeah, 18 less than 13. Anything less than 13 is a tragedy. Yes, a tragedy. Uh, okay, next up, St. 16 Titans 15, Rhythane Hells socks.

Sorry, that's my Ryan Sky. You want me, you want to hear my Rhythane Hell impression? Yeah. There was so many, there was a couple throws that we saw where it's like, if he just makes That's my Ryan Sky. You want to hear my Ryan Tan, who on pression? Yeah. There was so many, there was a couple throws that we saw where it's like, if he just makes that throw, the Titans win this game. Shout out Mike Vrayble for kicking that field goal.

We kicked five of them for the spread. Yeah. The people were scratching their head. It almost worked. Derrick Carr made the big throw on third down to seal the game. And Derrick Carr, I felt like he struggled at points but also made some big throws

and that's kind of all you need for the Saints. They, like the Saints just needed a steady hand last year. And he can be the steady hand. He was smart. I think the defensive back had like a pulled hamstring or a straight hamstring. And so Derrickar threw that one long down field pass that ended up getting them into fuel goal range.

He just went right after that guy. He's like, oh, they got a hurt dude out there. Yeah. It's veteran leadership by Derek Carr. Let me go after this guy. Fun stat about the Titans, they've held their last eight opponents to under a hundred yards rushing.

Yeah. They got how many of those games you think that they've won. They've lost all of them. Yeah, they've lost all of them. Yes. So it's one of those stats where you're like, oh, they've got a good rush defense. But also, oh, yeah, this is the NFL. And sometimes when a team has fewer than a hundred yards

rushing, it's because they're just air mailing this shit out of you. Yes. And you can't respond to it. Fun stat about the Titans, I thought their uniforms looked cool in the dome today. Yeah, they did. It was a nice contract. They did. It's kind of the nicest thing I can say about the Titans, I thought their uniforms looked cool in the dome today. Yeah, they did. It was a nice contract. They did. It's kind of the nicest thing I can say about the Titans today.

That every time we flipped that game, we watched the fourth quarter of that game, I was like, oh, this is, it just looks nice. Like the, the, the saints, black and gold is a gold or pewter gold. It's gold. It's gold. It's gold. Yeah. Yeah. The, the box. Black and gold versus the saints, all whites with the light blue. It looks cool. Yeah. So that's pretty much the only good thing you can say about the Titans today. I would say that your rookie quarterback, Will Levis, had maybe the best day of any rookie quarterback today.

Yeah. Zero for zero, zero INTs, and the guy that's starting in Furveham through three. Yeah. So he's going to be the most popular guy in town now. Ryan Tannihale, that was the worst Ryan Tannihale Titans game, I think, statistically, which is- What about the playoff game? Yeah, that was bad, but he also was moving the ball in that game.

Yeah. He threw those three interceptions against the Bengals, but he was kind of moving the ball. This one, it just, they couldn't do anything. You know what, Big Cat? I'm going to wait for all the facts to come out on Ryan Tannihale. I don't know, we can't make a judgment if he's good or not yet.

Let's give him another three years. I feel like Ryan Tannihill had about 50 times that he got them into third and long and then took a sack. Yeah. Again, that's probably not exactly correct, but it felt that way. Do you think? I don't want vibes.

I bet Mike Vrable looks at this game like it's a shut out. Like they got shut out because they kicked five fuel goals. Yeah. rabble doesn't acknowledge kickers as being part of the team. But again, a huge field goal. Big field goal at the end. Huge, big goal.

That was, I was shocked that he sent the field goal you know. It almost worked. They had all their timeouts. It almost worked. The dome was rocking a herd by the way. Oh, from Mensee. Oh, okay. He said he reported in like super domes rocking down Nola.

He was, I mean, I'm surprised Dennis Allen didn't pick him up Because I don't know if you saw him running that 5k. He's pretty quick. He was the end of it He was blazing past a bunch of middle-aged people and maybe some small children and pets We got to get men's seats to work out with James Winston. Oh, that is my dream I think he might actually like he might be be the perfect thing to take James to the next level. Again, they should incorporate Mincey into one of his weird workout routines that he does.

He just makes noises. He's got to be making noises and James is going to have a blindfold on and he has to avoid Mincey trying to sack him just by hearing his noises and figure out where he is. Yeah. Yeah, I like it. Yeah, I mean, the Saints, I guess you have to play Derek Carr because you're trying to win an division, but that's not so much fun. If James was the starter, it would be just let James start. Uh, okay.

Next game, Falcons, Panthers, uh, this, I'll say this, our good friend Arthur Smith, friend of the program, jacked by the way great mustache I like when coaches use cliches And they're actually factual so it's not just a cliche thing to say he's actually giving you the correct answer Even though it is a cliche. What about this one? You play who you play? Yeah, that yeah fact play play who you play But that also when coaches say that, I'm like, yeah, but they're also know that like their team might not be as good because they just beat a bad team

or something like that. But Arthur Smith after the game said, we don't care about stats, we care about winning. He believes that because that was like Desmond Ritter. I think he had like 115 yards. Well, this is a wild Desmond Ritter stat. At one point, he was four for four passing with zero yards and one touchdown. I love it. That's awesome.

Yeah. Tyler L. G. R. and B. John had 80% of the Falcons offense. They do not care about stats. They care about winning. That's how they won this game. That B. John touchdown was so fucking awesome. That was like, I know that he has to perform all year for Falcons fans to be happy about the pick But I might just be happy with that clip just over and over because I saw a stat I don't even know how they figured this out But they said he had a 10% chance of scoring a touchdown when he caught that ball given where everyone was on the field I don't know I still don't know how he was able to like break I know I broke the first tackle with that. He kind of when he shifted to two guys to score the touchdown

It's like when you did you ever play that game doom back when you were a kid and you could walk through walls Yes, he clipped. Yes, he clipped through the defense ended up on the other side It was awesome for the rest of the game I was like why aren't they giving the ball to be John every single play? Yeah. Yeah. He's got those rookie, those, those fast legs that rookies had. Well, they were just trying to win the game. That's it. They didn't care about stats. There was 261 total passing yards in the game. Pretty bad. Pretty bad. In a 2023 NFL game. Tough to do. Very tough to do, but it doesn't because I mean, bright, bright young, I am taking the long term on Bryce Young. I said this on Friday.

He had a couple good moments, couple really bad moments. Jesse Bates had two interceptions, which could pick up by the Falcons, getting him from the Bengals in free agency. But yeah, I'm taking the long term on Bryce Young. And I'm also rooting obviously against the Panthers because the Bears have their draft back. Yeah, today was the first day for the Atlanta Falcons with a winning record since 2017. Wow.

Congrats to the Falcons. And they went to the playoffs that year. That's a long-ass time. Yeah. I respect you for hanging in there. For any of the Falcons, by the way, speaking of hanging in there, looked like he was about to kill himself today.

You see that? It was his self game. He was up in the draft. He was in the rafters and he was just looking over the edge like, should I do it? And then he jumped and there was a bungee. But I thought for a second, I thought he was about to jinnay himself. Yeah, 261 past total passing

guards. It was tough watch. It was tough watch. The NFC South is just impossible to know what's going to happen. I it's going to be like a mosh pit at like an eighth grade talent show and the biggest kids gonna win at the end. Yeah, I kind of like it. I kind of like the Falcons this year because we know what we are. We're just gonna try to run the ball

and play some defense and try to burn the clock and play like two and a half hour games and win that way. Yeah. Why not? Respect. It's a zag on everyone else. You haven't even had a foul. Yeah, it's now.

It probably doesn't work if you get like a 10 o deficit. But other than that, if you can stay away from ever being down 10 points, you can win every game. You know, be sick. If next year in the draft, Shador Sanders and Deon Sanders pulled like a John L way and said, we're not going to go to the NFL unless the Falcons take both of us. Yeah, but we don't want to. Not not.

It would be Deon would be be there would be a head coach and then there would be head coach prime no different position. Dion should be the GM GM. There you go. Yeah, he's gets all the good players bring his baggage with him as he and Travis Hunter has to come to yeah, I think he's from George and then should our Sanders wearing the all black Falcons uniform. That would be on should be allowed to wear his uniform too on the sidelines.

That would rule. I like the Tasman Ritter is just the same player he was in college too. What do you mean? Just like nothing wilds you. Yeah, but wins games. Yeah, wins games. Like since nothing that he does, and I'm like, oh my God, Tasman Ritter.

I would say that the Falcons are like a group of five NFL teams. Yeah. They're not a power conference. Yeah, like they're trying to go to a New Year's table. Yeah, and they can. Yeah, they absolutely. With the right coach, with a great coach like Arthur Smith or Luke Fickle. Well, I'm sure he's still out on him.

But with our great coach, with a great coach. That was very mean. Like that was, you were a Nebraska fan for one day, Hank, you lost $3,000, you fuck. I didn't mean to stab you in the back on that. But after I said Luke Fickle is like, well, it's just gonna be hanging out there. I like how the boys fought. I'm gonna talk about college football on Wednesday. Like we always do.

And I have some thoughts. But yeah, the Falcons are like, they're a competitive on an up year. The Falcons can definitely make some noise and be around the playoffs. But most years, it's like, okay, they're, you know, they might have a good record at the end, but they won't do it.

And the NFC South, who knows, and the NFC in general, who knows? Like, there's big cat, interestingly enough, by conference today, the AFC was five and nine. Oh, wow. The NFC was 10 and six. How about that? So all the haters, the haters talking, talking about the NFC, not being a good conference. Numbers never lie.

We did it. We did it. If the Super Bowl was today, the NFC would dominate. I'm just gonna be a SEC NFC fan. Yep. NFC. Okay.

Let's take another break and we'll do the afternoon games, which I think a lot of people are probably waiting for us to talk about. Before we get to the afternoon games, they're brought to you by Life Lock. Like many of us, you might think identity theft will never happen to you. But consider this, there's a new identity theft victim every three seconds in the United States.

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who's going to work to fix it. Save up to 25% your first year at LifeLock.com slash PMT. That's LifeLock.com slash PMT to save up to 25% identity theft protection starts here. Okay. Uh, we'll do the games that everyone wants to hear at the end. Uh, there's two of them. I think everyone wants to hear. Let's talk about the best afternoon game. That was Dolphins Chargers. I wish I wish that this game had Sunday night on its own. Yeah. To really appreciate it because this, this is like the day in Revealed, no one will talk about it or remember it.

It's the greatest week one game ever. This was the greatest week one game of all time, by far. Dolphins 36, Chargers 34, Tuha, all the Tuhaators out there, Tuha Non, expect us, 466 yards, three touchdowns. I know that there was a couple under thrown balls in the first half, but if

you don't believe in two, uh, that third and 10 with like three 40 left where he had pressure stepped up in the pocket, hit Tyree, killed down the sideline, won the game basically. That was it. That was two. What I love about McDaniel is that he is smart enough to realize that he doesn't have to think his way out of every problem. And he will run the throw Tyree kill the ball play. Yeah. And that play works all the time. I mean, the game was up and down so much fun. Like, they was the, I feel like we finally got justice for that Sunday night game that

was Dolphin's Chargers last year that we thought was going to be a shootout. And it wasn't. And we, we now got our like, we got what we deserve. This was the shoot out we deserved. It was back and forth. Austin Eccler was going off. I don't really understand what Kalamore was doing where Austin Eccler had an incredible day. Feels like he couldn't get stopped. And then he had three touches in the entire fourth quarter. But that's, you know, Kalamore will just continue to be the next guy everywhere he goes. Sometimes when a, when an opposing team scores on you really quickly, you feel like you then have to also score quickly.

Yes. But sometimes if it's a close game, guess what doesn't matter if you score in like two plays or if you score in 15. In fact, it's better if you score in 15 plays. Yes. You're just going to throat stepping drive, but coaches sometimes fall into that trap where they're like, oh, fuck, we have to respond and send a message. You don't always have to do that. No.

And this game could have had the more scoring because Tua had a fumble at the goal line to start the game. Yeah. The drive to start the game. We also had the dumbest penalty ever by J.C. Jackson at the end of the first half, where Tua just threw the ball up with no time left. It was, I don't know, 20 20 yards 25 yards short of the end zone and

He just shoved the receiver Untimed down passing a fair and spot foul free three points, which was oh, yeah They won by two points interesting huh that that was pretty pretty bad That's a big time C words play. Yeah, that is big That is what you get when you're a fan of the seawards. And the dolphins almost seawards the game on their own at the end of it. Yes. On that last series there, it was, uh, was it a miss extra point? Miss extra point almost cost them that game. Um, but yeah, it was fun. When I see those two colors on the field at the same time, it's like this, this color combination, you get the, the blues, you get the aquas

or the teals. That equals points. I hate the Chargers uniforms today. I hate the yellow pants. I don't think it sucks. Well, because you want them to be the powder blue. I want them to be the powder blue. I don't think they're that bad. If the Chargers didn't have the powder blue uniforms,

you wouldn't think these ones are bad. You just be like, these are pretty cool. But you know that there's something out there a little bit better. Also, great day for Justin Herbert haters, because it's obviously the two of Justin Herbert's same draft. He gets a ball back with a little under two minutes left

and wasn't able to do anything. Vic Fangeo just started dialing it up on him. Great blitzes. Yeah, great, great blitzes. But that's one of those, it doesn't actually mean anything, but if you have entrenched yourself on one side, you can walk away being like, told you he sucks. Yep, for sure.

There was also, to his performance today, was like one of the best week one performances since Norm Van Brockland. Wow. And that is one record that I want, I'm gonna put a bounty on the most passing yards in a game record, because it makes no sense that that's the one record that stood up for what,

70 years. Yeah a Passing record a single game passing record hasn't been broken when when was that game? most passing yards in a game in FL 554 yards norm van brockland through for 554 yards in 1951 that record we need we need to break that record. It's insane that it hasn't broken. Yes. Yes. I agree. We need we need someone to break that record. Let let someone just I mean pizza party. I'll throw pizza party for whatever quarterback breaks that record this year. Tyree kill was I mean he's just so fucking good. Yeah. He's so much faster than everyone 215 yards just every it's so awesome

watching the dolphins when they're cooking and and it actually is very similar to a college football game Where the dolphins are so fast that guys are way more open than they should be in an NFL game like going from I was noting this when we started watching the games today going from a full slate Saturday to a full slate Sunday You just are you just like have to re-transition your eyes where you just know like, hey, there's not gonna be guys just running wide open everywhere around the field, like it is on a college football Saturday, except for the dolphins and Justin Jefferson,

where it's like you'll look up and there'll be just no one near Tyree Kale or he'll catch a ball and just run past everyone. It's so much fun to walk. It is, yeah, DK had one of those plays today. Yeah, he was wide open. Yeah, wide open the end zone. Yeah, he faked like he was going to run like a hard turn

to the inside. Why would you ever think DK's going to do that? No, you can't bite on that. He can. No, no. I have a robot question, robot question, rhobac.com, use code take on

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My Roeback question is for Jake. He's promo code takes 20% off all throwing We completely forgot a early slate game. Yeah, I was going to get a 20.5 now. So let's talk about it. My bad Texan my bad. How many tweets are you getting right now? That you skipped it probably not that many because we're about to get to it and also that game stunk. Yeah He's like you you got me? No, I just know that people, they speak right away. I mean, Ravens fans, all right,

well, we're talking about right now. Your score got me happened. Yeah, it happened. Week one, I think it took until week sixish last year. So really great to see. I was sitting with Max and we thought, 25, nine, it's kind of crazy. He seems like a common score, but happened.

It happened. Yeah, so Ravens sex, let's talk about it now. My bad. I just skipped right over it. Jake also asked me to take the Gamy picture right in the middle of the Colts, like fourth downplay to cover your house. And it was, Jake had a scary thing. I was like, if Big Cat sees the picture being taken

while his entire games on the line, it's going to be bad. He had a couple of those today, Jake had, he's his first week. What was the other one where you're like, congrats on one, like one and one party. Yeah. Right is like the bears were getting fucking smoked and the Eagles and Patriots just coming down to it. He just like stepped and he's like, PFT, we're both one and oh after the dolphins won. And I think Max shut up. Yeah, I know. I yelled.

Yeah. I deserve that. But yeah, Ravens 25, Texans nine, uh, score, Gami. I think the Ravens finally have their receivers. A flowers was awesome. And Lamar Jackson actually trusts him. Zayf Flowers is so good. So he was so shifty when he gets the ball in his hands.

That dude is going to be a problem to bring down. But unfortunately for the Ravens They might be reclaiming their old title as the most injured team in the NFL. Yeah four injuries four injuries and and big injuries to yeah So Ronnie Stanley got hurt Who else got hurt? I know JK Dobbins obviously to under bomb. Yeah, he got hurt and there was somebody else too Oh someone on defense Mark Andrews was out. Yeah, somebody tore their pack on defense. Yeah, he might not torn there was somebody else too. Oh, someone on defense. Mark Andrews was out. Yeah, somebody tore their pack on defense. Yeah, he might not have torn a pack, but.

Oh, that's good. Yeah, JK Dobbins, I feel very, very bad for him. He had the worst weekend ever because not only did he get hurt, but because there was that weird clip from the Kentucky game where the announcer was like 10 years ago, no, he was a foster child and no one wanted him. And now he's here at Kentucky. That forced the famous Gus Johnson clip about JK Dobbins to go revival, which I don't

know if you guys remember that one. When here I can play it for you, Gus Johnson reminded everyone that JK Dobbins mom thought about getting an abortion. That actually happened. Gus Johnson said that live on its own. They did it. They did mom thought about getting an abortion. That actually happened because Shonson said that live on its own. They did that with T-Bo too. Yeah, so here it is. a doctor because she was thinking about a boarding the baby. This is a wildest clip ever. But one is to be that young man. JK Dobbins, who she calls her miracle baby. Both of them are crazy.

Yeah, that is. Gus Johnson saying that is insane during a live. Yeah. Was the Michigan Ohio State game too? Yeah, it's tough. So, so I feel really bad for JK Dobbins. Like every last, every just, every year. Even last year when he was healthy, he still looked like he was in pain when he was running

down the field. It was like, it was tough. He was fast, but he was also limpic. I've never seen anything like it. He scored a touchdown today and then Achilles, like, it just, he has the worst luck. It fucking sucks. On the other side, CJ Stroud, not bad. Not bad.

I'm really basically the worst place to start your career against the Ravens, who just, they're similar to the Niners where it feels like every time there's a pass into like the flat, there's six Ravens that are ready to just take your head off. They've got probably the best linebacking duo in the NFL. Yeah, and they were just all over the field. So I can't, you can't fully judge him based on today.

No, but people will, but he wasn't, he wasn't bad. Look at us. We're actually doing a really good job of growing as people. Like we, we, we complimented Anthony Richardson, say, said, Bryce Young, did a couple good things. CJ Stroud shouldn't get, you know, dinged up just because he played against the Ravens. We're having said it. We haven't said anything bad about Daniel Jones yet, because we haven't talked about the game. Yeah, we will also Marcus Williams who you're looking.

Marcus Williams, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, the Ravens looked like the Ravens a little rusty, but took care of business against a bad Texan steam. Who's back in the week? Ray Rice was on the sideline. Was he really? Yeah.

Doing what? I don't know. They kept him security by the steps, which is probably a good, a better place to put them than another thing that could get you up and down. Geez. Okay.

Ray Rice. Who's back in the week? Yeah. All right. Back to the afternoon slate, Ram Seahawks. Ram's 30, Seahawks 13. The Seahawks played the worst second half of football. I think I've ever seen.

It was so bad. They didn't touch the ball. They had 14 plays. 14 plays in the second half. They didn't, four punts. Yeah. Four minutes and 55 seconds of having the ball. That's insane.

They were so bad. They looked like they were handling the game and the second half started. And it was just, oh, the second quarter sucked too for them. Yeah. The highlight of the second half was Gino Smith when Aaron Donald was running directly out of him going, oh my God.

Which was awesome. So that's honestly what I would say. Yeah, it would be, oh my God. And then you would hear me shitting my pants. Not me, memes, though. I called him a pussy to his face. Was he running at you? No, we did that interview.

Aaron Donald, you posted every day memes. Why are you pretending like you don't know what I'm talking about? Now do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I wouldn't be scared Aaron Donald. What's he gonna do? Sac me. I'm supposed to write now.

I'm supposed to write now. Yeah, I'm supposed to write now. I would shit myself. Like, Geno Smith would never. Yeah, yeah, that to right now. I would shit like, like, Gino Smith would never. Yeah. Yeah, that was a bad, bad game for the C-Ox. Oh, they looked, again, one of the worst second halves I've ever seen a team play. Offensive line doesn't look great.

Nope. Gino, not maybe turning back into Gino. Maybe. Did we write back? I don't know. Also, the Rams, Sean McVase still a very good coach. So I was very low on the Rams this year. And then Puka Nakua from BYU, who just like didn't play last year, I every game,

I was like, Oh, is he going to play? He's awesome. He had 119 yards and two, two at well, had 119 yards. And they don't have Cooper Cup for a few weeks, and the Rams just dominated the Seahawks, which it shocked me. Did every former Redskins coach win today? I don't know, there's so many. Shanahan, McDaniel, McVey, LaFlure. Yes, they all did.

Yeah, the Rams, I was impressed. I thought the Rams were gonna be bad this year. And they went, O'Connell didn't win. And they went in and they handled business against the Seahawks. So good for the Rams. And Matt Stafford looks good. Yeah, he was really good.

He was really good. And he was like moving around okay. And there were just running like classic Ram routes where Matt Stafford kind of rolls out a little and one of their tight ends or receivers running a curl route that's Unguardable and it just would be like oh 15 yards no problem. Yep, so I don't know what to make of the Seahawks Was it was last year or flash in the paint? I again, we probably shouldn't over react too much to week one

But again, that was one of the worst halves of football that we've seen played. That's what week two is for Yeah, week two is is the big overreaction week. Because week one, yeah, you can re overreact to like the opening game. Yeah. So that Thursday night game, you should overreact to that. You should overreact to the Monday night game and the Sunday night game. But the rest of it, you should not. And then week two, once you get the like two and a or the O and two next to a team's

name, then you can be like Dunchain. Then you can be like, I'll cut my pinky off when the soup, I'm bringing back the done chain this year too. Hank, whose line is this anyway? Can you give us it? Well, guess, I think the Seahawks play the Lions next week. That might be a time to take the Seahawks,

but whose line is this anyway? Where's the game? Find the line for us. Tell us where the game is. I assume it's in Detroit. It's in Detroit. Okay. It's going to be Lions 12 o'clock. Lions six and a half. I'm going to say Lions four and a half right in the middle. Five and a half. Oh, they don't know what to do with it. Mm-hmm. It's an old Vegas. Yeah, it's going to shift back and forth. Okay. That was fun. That was a fun. Who's line is it anyway? Do one more. Well, I actually know we'll wait for it. Okay. Next game

Raiders Broncos Raiders 17 Broncos 16. I got a fun stat for you PFT Which we talked about last year, but if the Broncos had just average just scored 20 points in all of their losses last year, they would have been 10 and seven. They won four games, I believe. Last year, they averaged 16.9 points per game. Today, they scored 16 points and they lost 17 to 16. Well, the first half looked pretty good. Yeah, it was. It's great. So Russ and the first half, he had 125 passing yards. He was, yeah, 125 passing yards, 17 for 19.

Two touchdowns, no interceptions. In the second half, he was 10 for 15 for 52 yards. Yeah, bad, bad, bad, second half. I do like how Sean Payton came out the gate hot. Yeah, he did an on-side kick in his opening kickoff. He's been thinking about doing that for the last, how many years? Like two years?

Yeah. You know that he's just been in the back of his head. He's like, when I get back, first fucking thing I'm doing, we're doing on-site kick. Did they recover? They did, but then they said that they touched the ball within 10 yards, but it was close. But you know that Sean Payton, he's like,

he had a little piece of paper saying, on-site kick no matter what. Yeah. I'm just looking at it every morning, rub it a little bit and Jimmy G Was not terrible. I have a question for you about Jimmy G Yeah, is Jimmy G a dog? Actually, he might be I think he might be a dog Max Crosby said that he was a dog after the game because he gets hurt a lot

Yeah, but he still plays he wants to play when he's hurt and he gets hit really hard and he bangs porn stars And he bangs porn stars that's a dog move right there, and he's good looking. He's very good Look, did you see him in his chain? No when he was in the fighter pilot fighter jet. Yeah, it looked like he was it took my breath away I'm out of his yeah, he's not 18. He's the hottest guy ever But yeah, Jimmy G not so bad. I this is another one where I kind of thought the Broncos were gonna be They're gonna come out and play well and the Raiders were gonna have a bad year and it's like oh shit And again week one because we might look back and be like remember that's what was the year? It was in the Jaguars when they won week one against the cults and they're like

We're not done yet and they never want to game again. Yep, so you never know what week one will do So guess how many days it's been since the Broncos have beat the Raiders. Oh, it's gotta be a couple of years, huh? 532. Okay. I'm gonna guess overrunner. Ss.

Over. How many would you guess? I'd guess 728. I don't know where that lands. There's some account. 1,352 where that lands. It's on the count. 1,352 days. Wow. It's a long ass time.

The Broncos just don't win the FC West. They don't. They haven't. I don't. I think Pat from our homes is beating them for like seven straight years. There was at one time that John Groot and went to Kansas City and beat the chiefs

and then they did laps around Arrowhead Stadium like flipping everybody off. Yes. That rocked. That's right. I missed John. Yeah, that was the Raiders. I'm saying the Broncos though. Oh, the Broncos. Yeah, that rocked. That's right. I missed John.

Yeah, that was the Raiders. I'm saying the Broncos though. Oh, the Broncos. Yeah, the Broncos don't beat the Chiefs. They have it. I think Patrick Rones maybe never lost to the Broncos. Yeah, I think it sounds right. It's crazy.

Well, the Broncos haven't been very good. I know, which is also crazy because they were one of those teams that for the longest time were like the model franchise. All these consistent. Is he kind of leads a Rises box tonight? No, is Jimmy Butler in it? There are a lot of dudes in Connie Rises box. Oh nice.

It is wild. Nice. I don't know how she fit that many guys in her box. That's crazy. She was gonna be the browns at college. She's a big bush girl. Yeah. All right.

Let's do one last ad and then we'll talk about the last couple games which everyone wants to hear about very badly. Before we get back to the rest of the games, they're brought to you by Factor with the busy fall season already in swing. You might be looking for wholesome, convenient meals for those jam packed days. And Factor is America's number one ready to eat meal kit. They can help you fuel up fast. They've got chef prepared, dietician approved, ready to eat meals delivered straight to your door.

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Uh, Packers 38 bears 20. I don't really know what to say. This is probably the lowest up felt in a very, very long time. Yeah, that was terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible. It's the same as it ever was. I'm living in the worst version of Groundhog's Day possible. I had all the hope, all the expectations. I knew the defense was gonna suck, so I'm not that surprised that Jordan love look good. He did miss some throws on the first half, not no big deal. But yeah, that was really, really bad and everything I was hoping for, I know it's a long season, but it feels like it's the Bears are just going to suck for the rest of my life And the packers are going to be good for the rest of my life And there's nothing I can do about it and it's so fucking gutting and disappointing and terrible

And I know all you sickos and perverts are listening to this right now and you're enjoying it you packers fans you fucking sickos I don't know what else to say. It sucks. Aaron Jones said nothing's changed. We're still the Packers. Yeah. No, and they just, they, nothing has changed. The bears looked horrendous.

Luke Getsey, I don't know what the fuck he was doing. We went, we reverted back to the bears offense at the beginning of last season where, like, just feels just just there was no design runs. We're just going to throw the ball. It's basically a bubble screen or a run for two yards. The stat is there was 3.1 air yards per attempt.

And that was designed. Like that was not that wasn't like Justin fields like I don't know what what the entire off season like hey, we're gonna beef up the offensive line, which sucked. They got bullied. Justin Fields didn't have any chance to throw, and I'm not gonna make it seem like he wasn't good either. It just, everything fucking sucks.

Everything sucks. Everything's the same. I even set it on Fridays, like if I get back to this point, I at least I know how to deal with it. Guess what? It's worse than I even could imagine. This was as demoralizing as a loss as you could ever have in a week one game. So there's a cycle to a running quarterback and it goes usually something like this. They start out and the offensive coordinator says, okay, we got a rookie quarterback. He's dynamic with his legs, but we need to protect him because there's bigger players in the NFL.

They're not going to be able to run people over, not going to be able to scramble as effectively as they did in college. So we're going to try to teach them to be quarterback and then they try to make them be a pocket passer. That usually goes off the rails a little bit because they're not used to that. Then they open up the playbook like they did with the bears last year. And now you're like, oh shit. This guy's incredible with his legs. Look at him go. You start having some success. You do more of that.

Then you say he's better than Trevor Lawrence. You said some people say like when they're pissing out kidney stones and they don't know what they're talking about, this guy might be better than Trevor Lawrence. Then in the off season, that player or the coach is like, we love how good this guy was last year, but we have to protect him He's not gonna be able to do that forever So we're gonna make him be more of a pocket pack and they cycle back to what they did when they first got into the league And then that's not gonna that's not gonna work. You need to let Justin Fields be like okay Well, he's great with his legs. Let him run around a little bit

He might take some shots, but let's trust him to be smart and use his legs as an offensive weapon because he's great with his legs. Let him run around a little bit. He might take some shots, but let's trust him to be smart and use his legs as an offensive weapon because he's not designed to just drop back three steps and throw a slant. But it was just the whole thing was stupid. It's not even like I just don't... The whole thing was fucking stupid into moralizing and terrible and awful and worse

than I could have ever even imagined. The game flipped. Like, I don't even know what they did at halftime. I don't even think the Bears even talked at half time I think they're like I think they actually read my tweet because I said it half time I was like you know not the best first half but I know that Jordan loved missed a few throws that Aaron Rogers would have hit so probably would have been twenty eight six and half if it was Aaron Rogers they probably read that and they're like yeah we're good because nothing changed they didn't the Packers looked completely different in the second half.

The Bears looked like they hadn't changed anything and it just all is back to the same spot where the Bears are going to suck all year. Like I looked at the schedule, now they're probably loose the box, then they have the Chiefs week three. Like the Bears are going to suck this year. And I don't ever know if Justin feels going gonna be good because I don't think they're ever gonna give him a chance and And the offense of coordinators is a fucking num skull and everything sucks and the packers probably have the best quarterback in the league somehow

So I brought this up to you in the first half of the game I am still concerned about it. You were not concerned about at the time But I want to I want to circle back on this item This isn't fair Justin feels not fair what you're doing. I think we should talk about it. Okay, Justin fields bot Jordan loves family. Oh, yeah, I had no problem to go to the game. Yeah, I had no problem. I don't like it I had no problem with it I said to you in the moment It's exactly like when Bill Russell and obviously didn't work out this way Bill Russell used to put up

Will Chamberlain at his house He should let him sleep at his house before he beat him in the finals. Obviously, it didn't work out that way. I don't know why Jordan Love can't fucking buy his own family tickets. He seems like the cheapest guy in the world and that's pretty much. I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to start slandering Jordan Love. That's the only playbook I have. I'm gonna draw everything I said about Aaron Rogers. Guess what Jordan Love, you get that now.

I'm just gonna say mean things about you and lash out because that's the only thing I can do. Cause I never, the bears are never gonna be good and they're never gonna, nothing is ever gonna work for this fridge. I just think it's weird that Jordan Love is like, hey, can you buy my parents tickets? It's a strange move.

And then your quarterback against your biggest ride. I'm gonna say something I'm not gonna say it because I'm not I'm not. I'm not gonna say it. Okay, the smart. I know what you're gonna say. It's good that you don't say it. I was just saying Jordan. I'm not gonna say it. Yeah, I didn't say it. You want to do who's liners anyway for players bucks? You said you want to do it again. Yeah, so.'t say it you want to do who's liners anyway for there's bucks said you want to do it again Yeah, go ahead go ahead. Go ahead. Who wears a game ten table. Okay. I'm gonna say bucks Minus two and a half Box probably minus a billion hammer the box

It's bucks minus three. Okay. I have a question from a I have a question from Max. You want to be to ask you too? Fuck you Max. I was just curious. You guys are all sick You want me to ask it? Go ahead. I don't I Don't like I don't like anyone in this room. I'm just curious. You're saying how sucks PFT He's not bad. He does suck. He sucks. You're lashing out. I'm not no, but he sucks. No, you're lashing out I get sucks. I know I know better than to take anything you're saying right now. He sucks.

And you hyped up Trevor, or Justin Fields even more than I did. Which is crazy. I thought he was good. Now you're gonna pretend like you did. No, I had maxed out. I thought he was good. In a hypothetical world, you're saying that the bears are gonna stink again this year.

They're gonna stink forever. It doesn't matter. They're gonna stink forever. Do you do the same thing, or do you take Kayla Williams if you get the one? Well, we're gonna have one two probably cuz the panther's probably gonna be bad two so I don't know Probably take kill Williams and Drake May and both of them will be hit by a bus. I don't fucking know They're gonna suck forever. There's nothing they can do

And I know I'm overreacting to week one, but it was against the backers It was in first week with Justin Fields and Jordan love and everything Was gonna be different and nothing was different. It was somehow worse than it's ever been It felt worse because even when Aaron Rodgers was like Aaron Rodgers a whole favor like he's an incredible quarterback I can understand why he's beating our brains in I don't I still don't think Jordan loves that good. I don't. I think the bears are just that bad. I think Jordan loves average at best. So would you rather get beat by Jordan love the way that you got beat today or have Aaron Rogers still be on the packers and he beats you 40 nothing. I they are in Rogers because again, I know Aaron Roger. Like that's the thing Aaron Rogers is a Hall of Fame quarterback. I always for all the shit

I've said about Aaron Rogers. I've never diminished the fact that he's an incredible quarterback. So like losing to him, it made sense to my brain. Losing to Jordan Love makes no fucking sense. Okay, so Justin feels, except for the fact that his Packers and Bears, we always lose to the Packers. Well, we saw last year from Justin Fields, like that happened, all that stuff happened, all the good memories happened, but yet,

he's got that, they just need to let him run the fucking ball. I know. They need good memories happened, Big Cat. He's got that. They just need to let him run the fucking ball. I know. They need to call a design run to him. They need to fucking throw the ball more than two yards past the line of scrimmage. And he's good if you can let him run the ball. I know it.

I'd rather him throw more interceptions a game and take chances. Yeah, you want to keep him healthy. You want to install an offense that maybe isn't in your, you know, you didn't sit down and plan this out to have a quarterback running the ball on design runs like 12 times a game. But guess what? He's really fucking good at running the ball with his legs. Let him do that. The other stuff opens up. Also, he's gonna get way more hurt in the pocket because the offensive line can't do shit. They got bullied. Absolutely bullied. I mean, if you want chance to take back from you and things you said about same how. No, he sucks. He doesn't suck. Yeah, of no. I'm only doing that because of what you you're pretending you didn't say that Justin

No, I know I acknowledge I said it and I'm saying I was wrong That's too, but you can't you can't jump ship that quick. I mean Trevor Lawrence is really good. Okay Well, you you said that for many weeks. Okay, every time you said I was like, if Justin feels if they let him run, if they let him play with his legs and do all the crazy shit he was doing last year, then yeah, he's a great quarterback. And I would love to have him on my team, but they're not going to do that. It looks like fine. Sam how does it suck. Thank you. One of them fucking bullshit. I hate everything. Football so stupid. It's like every time I'm like, Oh, it's going to be different. No, everything's going to change. It's going to be great. We got a quarterback now. I still think

Justin feels very good, but I just don't I think the bears will fail him. I think the franchise will fail him. And I still love Ryan polls. I think he's doing the great, the right things. The whole, the whole draft is set. The cap is set. Everything's set, but we can't beat the packers. I can't wait till after next week. You guys are going to be up, you guys are going to beat the box by like 20 points. No, I'll be all the way back. Justin feels the future hall of fame. Well, no, I still think he's a future.

I just don't know if it will ever happen on the bears because the bears. And that's really what it comes out to. It's not a Justin field indictment. It's the bears are the bears and the packers are the packers. And for the rest of history, it will be the packers beating the bears and there's nothing I can do about it. And there's no reason for me to even watch sports anymore. All right. What do you think about his post game outfit that he wore?

I don't even know. I don't know what he was like lace. It looked like like a grandmother's laundry. We didn't franchise quarterback. He's I still think Joseph feels is so fucking good. I just the bears are going gonna fucking fuck this up, like they fuck everything up. Again, I love Ryan Poles.

God damn it. See the confliction in my head? It's all because the packers, the packers do this to me. They fuck me up so bad that I can't do anything about it. And they just put me in a spiral that I'll just, I won't get out of. You would be such a happier person if you did, like, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.

If they could just do that for you and the packers Yeah, you just forget that the packers exist. Yes. Yes. Yes Like 365 days a year you would be in a better mood. Yeah, I've said it before I like I if the bears were like We're gonna move to San Diego and it's like I just don't have a team anymore And I can just root against the packers. That would be kind of cool. Yeah, I think it'd be a kind of nice life All right, that was it for your sickos and perverts. I hope you enjoyed it. I do think the Bears are still going to be good this year in Justin Fields. He's they're gonna open it up. They're gonna beat the bucks. I'm

now I'm back. They're gonna beat the bucks and guess what? They're gonna beat the Chiefs. They are. Chris Jones won't be playing still. Yeah. I mean the homes talked about running quarterbacks that can't win in this league. The bears are going to be 11 and five this year. There we go. Yeah. Yeah. We're about to what about the other game against the Packers. Well, there's, oh, we're going to lose that one. There's 17 games. I'm, I'm a turn on sunshine. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Last game of season. Got it. Okay. Last game before we talk about Sunday night football. Eagles 25 Patriots 20.

Hank, would you like to start? No. Oh. So I just talked a lot about how miserable I am. And you're not gonna. You remember earlier today when you were saying that, when you lose, you actually do say a lot of things on the podcast and you're eager to talk about it.

And then we just asked if you wanted to start and you said no. Well, no, I'll talk about it. I just poured my heart you're eager to talk about it. And then we just asked if you wanted to start and you said no. Well, no, I'm talking about it. I'm just poured my heart out happy to talk about it. I thought you'd like the victor would probably want to start first, but that's fine. I'm happy to talk about it. What do you think this show is? People tune in for Misery.

It was Tom Brady Day. They unveiled the new lighthouse, SICK, huge jumbo tron, SICK. Are they going to do that light? That's so far away. What do you mean? Yeah, they're gonna do it like the drum and the horns can be like like the light. Yeah, yeah, that's so far away.

It's right behind the stadium. Right, but then he has like whoever doesn't has to like go down and round. I'm sure they have a little bit of stuff. Like gimmicks like that. You guys are just turning into the rest of the league. What do you guys do before the game? I mean, I well, no, that wasn't that was a six years thing.

Yes, six years are losing franchise. They do craft. They ring the bell, right? Yeah, six years ring the bell. I like ring the bell. I like the lighthouse thing. I think it's very cool. I think the jumbo tron is really cool with the lighthouse is very cool.

We they unveiled a new jumbo tron. Yeah, so they had they got a huge jumbo tron they used to have a lighthouse uh... like on the side of the stadium that a huge jumbo tron that was gonna block the old lighthouse so they unveiled the new jumbo tron and then built a lighthouse so that goes over it is really were dead set on this lighthouse on this is what happens when you know it's like we were going to put this huge jumbo tron here for the fans robber Kraft cares about the fans wants to have a huge

Jumbo Tron but by doing that they're gonna block the old lighthouse so no they Compromise and just made a sick cool lighthouse that so you have but can I ask a question? Sure, do you think this says? Do you think maybe that this is You're starting to realize what happens when you're not like spending your time planning parades and banner raisings, you're like, let's build a lighthouse. You know a lot of details about this lighthouse.

Well no, it was like if you guys had been continued to raise banners, the lighthouse wouldn't be top. They had a lighthouse before when they were winning championships. So why they get rid of that lighthouse? Because he built a huge jump rope. You can't get rid they were winning championships. So why they get rid of that lighthouse? Because he built a huge jump on the truck. You can't get rid of the winning lighthouse. So get rid of the jumbo tron and bring back the old lighthouse. But the jumbo tron is for the fans, Robert Kraft cares about the fans.

Yeah, but I think the fans would like to win. The Super Bowls. That's gonna happen too. We're gonna have a jumbo tron, a new lighthouse, and we're gonna win Super Bowls. With Mac Jones? So yeah, if you wanna get into the game, it was pouring rain, super wet, super sloppy to start the game.

So the pick six that happened, I don't really, like that, that's just a, uh, chalk it up to the weather. Got it. Even though weather's not real, in this situation, the rain was wet, it was a sloppy pass. It was an extra wet rain, yeah. No, but it was like, no, there's like drizzle

and then there's like, Bill Balecheck did look like the wetdest dog in the world. Yeah, no, it was pouring. It was absolutely pouring. So there was a pick six. So that was chalked that one up to the rain. But when the Eagles had the ball, what about the Zika? Zika all it. It was what he fumbled. He played a pretty good game other than that. The patch once it stopped raining in the second quarter had a good comeback. Hunter Henry great, great game. Mac Jones. Mac Jones played really well. He did. He played really well. They mounted a good comeback. Fourth quarter though. The one drive that, you know, drove me nuts in real time and then it came back to bite them in the ass. It was fourth quarter. I think it was like 13 minutes left. They were inside the Eagles 20, fourth and three.

They went for it instead of kicking in field goal. It was 22-17 or 22-14. They could have made it 22-17. Decided to go for it. Not sure why. There was plenty of time left in the game. I don't know what really what the decision was. Decided to go for it.

Didn't get it. Turn the the ball over and then they were chasing Chasing chasing they scored a touchdown needed to convert the two point aversion didn't and then they were down five Instead of down three so at the end of the game they had a score touchdown instead of a field goal So that decision is kind of the one that like in the rain Well the rain was the beginning of the game after After the rain stopped, they were down whatever 16, nothing or whatever, but they they came back from that. They came back from the rain. They basically were playing. They started the game minus 16, right. And they almost and they should have won. Mac Jones didn't play like the best football. He even said so after the game. He said, you know, he let the defense

down. He is the reason that they didn't win. It was tough on Tom Brady night, because that's a game obviously you used to watching Tom Brady your whole life. Greatest quarterback of all time. He wins those games, no problem. The Eagles gave him two chances to score and win. Jalen Hurts, Fumble, Nick Sierriani went for it

of fourth down for no reason. That was a pun in the brawl. The pass would have had like less than a minute inside their own 20 probably. And he decided to go for it in fourth down, gave it back, came back to ball, you know, at the 50 or whatever, still couldn't score. So it was frustrating. It was kind of the ultimate like the Tom Brady era is over. This is the kind of mediocre Mac, Pats, you know, era that we're in now. So it was frustrating. You're calling a mediocre Mac. Those last, he was mediocre Mac in the fourth quarter of the media. Mac that hurts. So you're just realizing that now Tom Brady is not your quarterback. Yeah, but Tom Brady put the jersey on. He did the. Yeah, Max said Max is like, what a loser for him wearing his own jersey.

Yeah. Who wears who wears his own jersey and Nick who helps out with boomers. Our Nick is the best. Everyone knows Nick was like, yeah, every football player ever who plays in the game. Who plays in the game. Okay. So your man that he put on the jersey. No, he's just a loser move.

And he knew as a loser move that the team made them made him do it for that TV hit. And then he took it off immediately. He couldn't have gotten that jersey off fast enough because he knows it was a loser move. The funniest part was he was doing the TV hit wearing the Tom Brady jersey and then Hank looked down. He was like, Oh my God, we're wearing the same shirt. We were like a kid being like, oh my hero, just like me. So, so Max, from the winner's perspective, you'd be almost be the Super Bowl runners-up. That's so Philly.

You're more Philly than Max. Yeah. No, I'm just saying, as bad as it was, I still think this team is gonna win some games that people expect them to lose. I actually weirdly thought the Patriots like came out of that like their defense is good and out the Eagles looked rustier. Yeah, for sure.

Coaching. But that's also like, he just gave you a great. Um, yeah, no, the even more so like the coaching in the first half when they went up 16 O, they were just so defensive and like playing not to lose and everything was a dump down two yard pass that was like more frustrating than even like I mean the fourth down was super frustrating in real time but I mean we talk about it all the time none of the starters played in preseason they say it they said we say it like week one you can't over react in week one,

and you won the game. So like, you can't really be that upset. And you just kind of have to look at it as a win and be like, all right, we're going, we're on to the next game. This is like getting your, get your night. Yeah. You want to know, you want to know, you want to know, what about the top of the NFC, eS Max? What about when Hank assaulted you? That, oh, I forgot all about that. Hank slapped Max. I mean, my wrist is killing me right now from that. And Hank is your boss.

He is. I could easily sue. HR, we don't have HR anymore. But there's court, there's law. Why do you slap him again? There is court and law. Yeah, what would you do? What would you do?

I was dapping him up. The Patriot score to touchdown, so Hank thought that I should be slapped. Yeah, we had an all-time Hank just rollercoaster where he just you didn't even know he's in the room for the first quarter had his sweatshirt on, could barely see his eyes and then when the Patriots started coming back he ripped it off, started yelling at everyone, slapping people. Hank kinda hit the nail on the head. Like it's kinda fucked up that this game

ended the way that it did with two chances for the Patriots to go down the field and win the game in a last minute drive. And then you have the one guy that you would trust to do that above anybody else, sitting there watching. And all the Patriots fans could think about was, fuck, I really wish Tom Brady was out on the field right now Oh, if you had the option of like Tom Brady comes puts the pad on right now. No warm up. I would have taken that yeah

Yeah, oh, imagine yeah, you you're screaming even like not on Tom night. Yeah For Tom. Yeah, imagine being Mac Jones right now and just during the fourth quarter, and you know that everybody in the stands is looking up into Mr. Craft's box, and like, hey. Was Jimmy Butler in that? Yeah, Jimmy Butler was actually there. Okay. Honestly, in Mac's defense, he threw the right ball. Like, that was the right.

Yeah, it just shows that. I mean, the shivers got to get his feet in bounds there. I'd like to put Jake on the pip alongside memes, because Jake, Devonte Smith had a baby yesterday. Oh, he had a baby yesterday. He scored a score to touch down and he did the baby celebration. And then after the game, AJ Brown was like, you know, football is great, but nothing compares to having a baby. I was said when he was doing that.

I was like, did he just have a baby? Yeah, he had one yesterday and we didn't know. Damn it. It's my fault. Damn it. Trade Turner did it. Yeah, I got you guys Every game. It's one. Yeah So how you feel Hank knowing that Max bested you today

You lost to Max. I lost a max you usually beat him, but you lost to him. Mac cost me max It is what it is. I it sucked. It would have been great. I would have been, you know, gleeful, joyful, what have been thinking about you in a talk playoff, ASE championship, Super Bowl, potentially. Now you're not thinking soupy. It's just, it's just sucks.

We've talked about it a million times, but know when you have a caliber player like Tom Brady in these situations, you never feel like you're out of a game, and when you have a chance in the fourth quarter, one possession game, you know you're going to win. And the Eagles were giving that game away, and it was like, this is a game that we should win. The fumble, the fourth down, like they gif wrapped us the game and we couldn't convert and that's something I'm not used to. It's something I'm still getting used to, but it sucks.

It sucks. You know the Patriots next game? Who they playing? Sonnet, sonnet, I football. Oh, who's line is it today? Who's line is it today? Where's the game? The game is in New England.

I'm gonna say Dolphins minus four and a half. Two and a half. I'm gonna say Patriots minus one. Dolphins minus two. Ooh, okay. Spoiler season. Spoiler season. He's going.

He's going. Yeah. I feel like everyone thinks that Dolphins are gonna win him. Patriots have to spoil him. Yeah, let's hope for no rain. Yeah. Yeah, the rain would fuck you up. Yeah. I feel like everyone thinks that Dolphins is gonna win when Paciars have to spoil them. Yeah. What, let's hope for no rain. Yeah.

The rain would fuck you up. Yeah. Yeah. Where we got to, we got to schedule that next week too. Also, Mac Jones, another bad tackling performance. Oh, yeah. Well, that's, I wouldn't, yeah. It's kind of his game.

Yeah, I mean, he didn't get stiff on this stuff. He probably shouldn't be tackling because he shouldn't throw the picks. Well, if you're Mac Jones, you probably should learn how to tackle. Yeah, I mean, he didn't get stiff on this. He probably shouldn't be tackling because he shouldn't throw the picks. If your Mac Jones, you probably should learn how to tackle. Yeah. Maybe give him an angle, force amount of bounds. Yeah. But also don't throw the pick. Well, sometime they hit it. The receiver in the hands. If you can touch, you can catch it.

Sometimes your teammate throws the pick when he's trying to pass the ball back to you. That's true. That is true. Not the best tackle. But Mac Jones played well. But he admitted it in himself. He let the team, the region tom raided down in the fourth quarter. And you lost a max. And I lost a max. All right. Last game. And then we'll do who's back and get out of here. Cowboys absolutely shall act the giants. 40 to nothing. Yeah, but what they had it was wet tonight. It was wet. Daniel Jones got absolutely manhandled. I, yeah, I mean,

this game sucked. Some fun stats here. They had seven sacks, two force fumbles, two interceptions, one block field goal for a touchdown, one pick six, and a complete shutout. It was crazy. I mean, Dak Prescott, the Cowboys won 40 to nothing, and Dak Prescott had 143 yards passing. No touchdowns. That's a pretty good defensive performance for the Cowboys. Probably as bad as you want to start your season

if you're the Giants. Do you think the Giants are as down as you are right now? Yeah. Because they just paid Daniel Jones a little money and it's very similar to kind of the Vikings where it's like you won a bunch of games last year by the skin of your teeth, will this year be different? They also sneaky, just don't beat the Cowboys.

I think it's something like 13 and one in the last, we talked about it in Nerdnugget. Yeah, we talked about Nerdnugget. So yeah, the giants looked as bad as bad could be. That was hilarious. Who does the NBC sideline now? I'm not gonna talk about the star. I believe Melissa Stark.

Savage moved by her in the interview with Tak Prescott before the game. She was like, so last year you led the league and interceptions. How's it going to be different this year? He was just like what he said. He was just like, we're just focused on winning See I do love a good tack interception though. Yeah, so sad. I know we got robbed of it tonight. It sucks. I also feel You know, I'm not like a huge Jerry Jones fan, but good for him because I think Jerry Jones about to die Why's that? Did you see the hologram that he made? Oh, yeah, the hologram is awesome

You don't make so there's a in AT&T stadium Jerry Jones unveiled a hologram that he made? Oh yeah, the hologram is awesome. You don't make, so there's an AT&T stadium, Jerry Jones unveiled a hologram Jerry Jones that's interactive where fans can ask him questions and he will answer different answers like based on just whatever. It's AI, hologram. You don't make that unless you're about to die. I disagree, I think you make that after you die.

Jerry Jones might already be dead. He might be dead. Because think about the holograms that you know. Yeah. Two-pock? Yeah. That's pretty much it. I wonder though, how much of those, like,

there's gotta be a list of questions that are allowed to be asked. No. That's something I can't. No, we need to go interview AI Jerry Jones. Yeah. Where's the best place to come? In a man's shoe.

In a man's shoe. Hey Jerry, how's high school in Arkansas? It was great for me Yeah, it's been a lot of time outside directly outside that's yeah, that's definitely like about to die guy move I think he might be dead already. I really I think that the Jerry Jones that we see now is a hologram Jerry Jones Yeah, you know a live person does not make a hologram of themselves. The video of them unveiling it was so weird and so creepy.

I need to talk to it. Just a bunch of time. Yeah, bunch of people sitting there like smiling, go get to talk to Jerry Jones. There should also be an AI hologram drunk Jerry Jones. That would be great. Gone off like six shots of Johnny Walker Blue.

That's the Jerry Jones I want to talk to. Yes. Not some sober robot. I want to talk to him. Yes. Not some sober robot. I would definitely imagine that when he does die, he will have it in place that like, there'll be a hologram of him in his box so they'll show him on TV forever. I actually think that when the plan for Jerry Jones

is when he dies, the Cowboys will continue to be run by the AI version of Jerry Jones. Of Jerry Jones, yes. He's not gonna pass that down to his son. No. Or the guy that cleans his glasses. Yeah. Jerry's going to be run that team forever from the Yon of the Grave.

It's going to be an algorithm. Yes. That's just like, okay, draft the fastest player from Arkansas. Yeah. Do we have four riders, seevers? Get another. Yeah, I need another. Yeah.

I need some guy run that field, snatch that pig skin. Yeah. But yeah, the Cowboys absolutely give deck $40 more million. They demolish the giants. Yeah. That was demolished. It was a butt weapon. It was an ass, ass kicking.

All right. But a spin zone. Is it such a bad ass kicking that the giants can just be like burn the tape burn the tape. Yeah, it was wet. I don't know. That was pretty tough. If it wasn't as wet tonight, you never know what would

happen. That's a game. If you're the giant, you need to lose by like seven to feel good. You can lose it and so feel good, not 40 to nothing. Uh, okay. Let's finish up. We got who's back the week. It is brought to you by our friends direct TV. Are overly direct, take presented by direct TV, direct TV is the ultimate destination for pro football. It's where fans can get their football fix this season, whether you're watching games live on TV or streaming app, direct TV has you covered and get direct

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Hank. Who's back the week is the Joker? Wait, you're good to that? My who's back the week is Coco Gaul. All right. That was fun. American. She related Jared. She's not related to Jared. Different spelling. Oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, very casually walked into the tunnel, set her second place trophy down,

took her racket out of her bag and just demolished. That's awesome. It was no one was around too. Because I love when they give the second place trophy in tennis, and it's usually just a tray that's a plate. It's a plate that's designed to be, have cocaine done off. Correct.

And they just have to sit there and just stand, and then they make them give a speech and do like stand up. Do like 10 minutes of stand up, that it's supposed to be like gracious, eloquent, and funny and have some jokes off the top of their head after they just lost. That's one of my favorite traditions in sports,

but I respect the fact that she was like, fuck this trophy. Yeah, they also give a gift to the chair on fire. They recognize that. You love that. No, that's weird, dude. You love that. You love that. That's over, dude. You love that.

That's over the top. You love that. No. I had this thought when I was watching this weekend and it's like the ultimate, you know, I guess you don't know what you got till it's gone or like you just, I didn't give a, I never even thought I'd never really crossed my mind

about going to the US open and I was watching this weekend. I was like, that looks kind of fun. Like it'd be cool to do. I lost my fucking attitude. 10 is so boring. I would like to be, the US open looks fun. watching this weekend. I was like, that looks kind of fun. Like it could be cool. The US open. I was like, I would like to be the US open looks fun. Kind of like the masters are like, you know, one of these once a once a year tournaments.

I would love to be just like, they're like, they're a shout out Leo and like, all these people. It could be teleported into the US open. But to have to actually get out there would suck. And also to watch tennis sucks. I'll just do my who's back real quick as we're talking tennis, the Joker, 24. And counting 24.

Did you see the Vizlegan? Friday, 25 and hung the phone on Ben Shelton. Yeah, Joker's the best. He's the goat. I root for winners. Ugh. I am a winner. I root for winners.

Joker, the man. You're a little fucking boy toy, Roger Federer. He's, he's, you love him. You got a picture with him. No, you asked for a picture. Yeah, and I said, hey, hold, hold to some brello because you're, you're a bitch. Joker's got you, bitch.

You would never say that to Roger's face. I whispered it right to his face. Yeah, it was actually not, it wasn't Roger Federer. It was the one time done. Oh, yeah. Wait, are you serious? It wasn't actually Roger Federer, it was the one ton done. Oh yeah. Wait, are you serious? It wasn't actually Roger Federer. Yeah.

Uh, uh, uh, yeah, but you're a little boy toy, Roger Federer. He's sitting there watching Joker just ring it up 24 and counting. How many more is that than everyone else? I don't know, but he's got more. You do know. I gotta look it up. 22 I think is one or two more. Yeah.

Uh, he's the man man the best. He goes straight Swede Street Street sweep straight sets. Was it against an American? No, so we need to make it to the finals. Medvedev whose country is not recognized. Oh, okay. What is it? Russia country not recognized. Yeah, so they black it out. Yeah, they should have the flag, but they they pixelated it like it's Asian porn. Yeah, no, they do they kind of do that They black it out. That's awesome. Yeah great square Aaron Nagler just text me what a game huh fuck you dude. I'm sorry fuck you dude PFT my who's back in the week is Taylor Luan He's back. He he had like a 15-second retirement this morning

We put out a clip on Barstle Sports of Taylor retiring from the NFL. That did not include the part where he said that he's joking and not retired. So Taylor, Lewand officially back, if you're a GM that listens to the show that maybe got a notification from an Adam Shefter retweet and you think Taylor, Lew, is not available to be signed. O'Connor, he is ready to be signed to be the best 250 pound left tackle in NFL history this year. Yes. So bring him back, just setting the record straight on that one. Yes.

Also, who's back in the week is Uurnals. Oh, yeah. You see the Cocktogon? Saw the Cocktogon. So Penn State, they have, they have Portupatti set up outside Happy Valley, right? Or at Happy Valley? I would like to be able to be able to be able Yeah, when you take into account all the bad things that have happened in Restrooms like fitting more guys into the same restroom in Penn State probably not the best idea unique joke

Thank you. Oh, don't get sensitive now max Anywho they decided a urinal that like it it lets eight dudes take a piss at the same time and it looks awesome. Yeah, no, it's a fun. I got I got to take it for a spin. Yeah, yeah, it's a top 10 porta-potty. It looks sick. Jake.

Who's backs the water dogs? Yes. Yeah, you guys seem absolutely the mullage the cannons and they are going to their second straight PLL championship game two weeks from today. We had the game on TV. Yep. And it was a fucking we kicked their ass. It. And it was a fucking, we kicked their ass. It was never it out.

No. We kicked their fucking ass. So if we went back to back PLL championships, it'd be the first time to my knowledge. Share your knowledge, sure. In PLL history. But the whip snakes may have done it. Oh, who knows, he's a fuck about the whip snakes.

One of the league started. Oh, there's a huge slug free expansion. Yeah, when there were five teams in the league. Yeah. Yeah. Like the red wings teams in the league. Yeah, yeah, like the, this is like the Red Wings cleaning when they didn't let Rose from Long Island play. Yeah, it wasn't the best pool of talent back then, Jay. Yeah. Who should the MVP should have been for this game? The goalie. Yeah, sure. Don't worry. Yeah, don't worry. He's our MVP, but you have to ask like if we do repeat, Big Hat and I might be the best owners in the history of professional lacrosse.

Yeah, ever. Yeah, what Hank? With Robert Kraft. Do you have a lac? Hank? Oh, and Hank, yeah. Two of us. Hank, should we build a lighthouse

for all the water dogs? Hank, are you trying to get your first ring? I remember my first ring. It was awesome. We should build a jumbo tron at the water dogs home stadium and then put and That'll cover up the old lighthouse and we'll build a build a bigger lighthouse Yeah, we got a build a lighthouse then the jump would run then another another lighthouse. Yeah, but that's not until we're done winning race Yeah, yeah, so they're 48 minutes away

48 minutes from La Crosca is it is being played in Chicago? Oh, oh Philly Is it being played in Chicago? Oh Philly? No, time for 24 48 minutes away. That is it. That's the lacrosse game time 12 minute quarters. Wait, so it's it's the 10th today in the championship. It's on the 20th. Oh, like the super yeah, extra. You have to have media week.

Yeah, yeah. Is it being played on Sunday? Yeah, Sunday, so 24. What time? 2 p.m. Central. It's very noisy hour. We'll have it on. I'll have it on my computer. Yeah.

You just let us know. Yeah. Actually, don't tell us. And then if a ring just shows up, we'll be like, that was awesome. Good job by us. Are we using Billy to it? I think him and Doug's are going again. That's the ultimate. I think him and dudes are going again.

That's the ultimate. I need to go to the job now. Jake has one more who's back and that's football guys. Oh, Billy tweeted also during the game, Billy tweeted, the early slate has been kind of mid, not gonna lie. And then his next tweet was just him and Doug's hanging out outdoors in a beer garden, getting drunk. I'm sure Billy watched all the, like the entire sleep.

Yeah, Billy was pre-saying like, oh, who'd watch this football? Yeah. It's gonna suck. Yeah, trying to wish you a new existence. No, we're not doing it. I thought we were doing it. Yeah, we aren't. Hank. Oh, yeah, plug on.

Football guy shirts in the bar still store. Oh! New football guy shirts. Hank is rocking the Navy claw. We can call it skeleton claw. The claw. Yeah. The claw. It looks like a claw.

No, it's a hand. It's a skeleton. They're sick. Yeah, they're sick. We have hats. The claw. There's hats. I don't think they're coming.

I don't think they're coming. Yeah. Yeah, so go buy them right now. They're awesome awesome football guy shirts. Also obviously Texas is back but we talk college football on Wednesday. Yeah, so go buy them right now. They're awesome awesome football guys shirts also Obviously Texas back, but we talk college football on Wednesday So we're gonna do a whole college football on Wednesday. We'll talk about the whole weekend I was in Tuscaloosa. I have some thoughts on that But yeah the week one boys. We did it

We'll get better with time. We always go late for week one. Yeah It was fun. It was fun. It was fun just having just nothing but football on in front of our brains. Oh, I'm so excited for Monday night football. Monday night previews. Jake, go. Nugget. Oh, yes.

Josh Allen absolutely dominates on Monday night football in his six-month-night football game, so you throw an 18 touchdowns and two intersections. Wow, okay. Okay, memes, give us your Monday night preview. Your big jets fan memes. Pretty nervous, but I think we're gonna win. Oh, okay. Wow, huge.

Oh, it's got me just going, folks. Do you have a nerd nugget for us? Yeah, no. I was thinking about when Big Hat was talking. Uh, earlier in the week, he was excited. I'm nervous for the fact of what he's going through right now. Yeah, and we're not going to go back to the same old jets. Yeah, but Hank then mentioned Tom Brady, Hall, Fame, quarterback, he would take him on the field in that winner, though.

Winner, uh, Aaron Rodgers calls it honor. Not one. What he won actually like a store a disappointing dissimilar, given his talent. Jay color had to lose his leg and the NFC championship gave that to happen. Aaron Rodgers still a hallfamer. Did you hear Jake, Jake's nugget though?

Yeah, who cares? The Jets, the Jets are going to meet. Have this camera. Jets are going to meet Jets. Yeah, who cares? The Jets are gonna meet. I have this guy, we're gonna meet. Jets are gonna meet. Jets one.

I think next Sunday, we should try to get the boomers done early and maybe we'll tape the whole show during the Patriots game. Well, that would be fun. That would be fun, right? It would be great. Sure. Yeah.

And who are they playing again? The Dolphin. Yeah, we should do that. Yeah. Oh, that's Jake's team. Yeah. So you have Jake and Hank going up against each other. Let's do it.

That would be great. Do you want to do that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, what's the worst going to happen? The Patriots look bad and you just don't talk. Probably. Probably. All right. Week one in the books. Good job boys, good job. Numbers. Three.

Memes you ever gotten this? 18. 14. 14. 42. Shane. 20. Shane is 10.

93. 93. Love you guys. Here's another beat. I'm just coming, you can shine it away I'll be coming for your love again You can run away Take me on the day Take me on the day I'll be gone You can run away

Take me on the day ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ‍ʻ� I need you, I need you, I need you I'm telling you, I need you, I need you I'm all sitting, I'm about to be yourself in my left wing I'm telling you, I'm not like you, I can't say I'm mean I like the better to be safe than something Take me, take me, take me Take me, take me, take me I love you, take me, take me

Take me, take on, we want to be a queen Take me out, we are the queen We are the queen of the world All the things that we say we can do I'm a huffing and a fagin' and a gun I never knew All things I've got to remember The shine I've got I can't be the one

Hey, come on Hey, say something Hey, say something Hey, come on Oh, I'm the only one Oh, I'm the only one Oh, I'm the only one Oh, I'm the only one Change, oh, I'm the only one Change, oh, I'm the only one

Change, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you