Pardon My Take - NFL Week 14, Fastest 2 Minutes, Recapping Every Game And CFB Talk

Episode Date: December 14, 2020

NFL Week 14 Recap. Fastest 2 Minutes and recapping every game.  (2:14 - 8:45) Steelers @ Bills  (8:45 - 19:54) Chiefs @ Dolphins  (19:54 - 29:32) Vikings @ Bucs (29:32 - 35:38) Texans @ Bea...rs  (35:38 - 40:49) Cowboys @ Bengals  (40:09-44:09 ) Cardinals @ Giants (44:09 - 48:00) Broncos @ Panthers  (48:00 - 50:41) Titans @ Jaguars (50:41 - 58:17) Colts @ Raiders (58:17 - 67:52) Jets @ Seahawks  (67:52 - 74:52) Packers @ Lions (74:42 - 79:02) Saints @ Eagles  (79:02 - 89:26) Falcons @ Chargers (89:26 - 93:12) WFT @ Niners (93:12 - 98:43) College Football recap. Baby Bron of the week, Football guy of the week, and who's back of the week (98:43 - 131:34)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, week 14 of the NFL in the books. We recap every single game. Got a lot to talk about. No buy weeks anymore, so we have a lot, a lot of games.
Starting point is 00:00:24 We have a little college football talk. We got Baby Braun of the Week, fastest two minutes, who's back of the week. Embrace it, we don't have many of these left. These Mondays, pardon my takes, my favorite ones in the world. We do not have many of these left, so embrace it, embrace it, embrace it.
Starting point is 00:00:39 Huge pack show coming at you in a minute, and we're brought to you by our friends at the Cash App. The Cash App is the best app in the world. Go download it right now. Use code BARSTEL, you get $10 for free. $10 to the ASPCA, it is super easy to use. You can buy stock with it, you can send money to your friends,
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Starting point is 00:01:38 and get involved with our friends from the Cash App. Okay, let's go. Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence. And then a lot of stuff will be done. No place to hang out or wash in. And then I can't live all on the sun.
Starting point is 00:02:07 Oh no, we're gonna run down to electric avenue. And then we're taking higher. Oh, we're gonna run down to electric avenue. It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports. Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now. Use code BARSTEL, you get $10 for free. $10 to ASPCA.
Starting point is 00:02:33 Today is Monday, December 14th, week 14. What? What? What? What? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Starting point is 00:02:49 Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? We start in Miami where Lincoln Park, Bowdoin tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn't really matter as the Chiefs handled the Dolphins. With the temp hotter than normal, Travis Kelsey Kapoor
Starting point is 00:03:07 showed off with 136 yards and a touchdown. Tyron Metjoo was taking all necessary safety measures because he might get sick and we're in the midst of a global panty, folks. Chiefs 33, Dolphins 27. In Carolina, where Drew Lock brought his baking soda because he realized all he needed to throw T.D.'s was his arm and handler.
Starting point is 00:03:31 This Bronco season has stunk, but days like today put a little Troy Perfuma galley on the product in Denver. Ferry Rowe Cooper, birthed Wade, aborted his routes as Matt Rue was given at the old college trimester. It might be time to cut the cord on the Panther season. Whoa, boom, that's not an umbilical cord. That's Teddy's pee-pee.
Starting point is 00:03:51 Some hog. And the Broncos are back in the win column. 32, 27. Down to Jacksonville where Tractor Cito, December is his favorito. Exposed a D like they're wearing speed toes. Tractor Cito had two scores and 200 plus yards and Ryan Black and Tana Hill looked a halfway stout
Starting point is 00:04:13 against an ailing Jaguar's defense. Doug Morone, Rone, row your boat, gambled like he was playing a crazy game of poker, but he's up the river without an inore. OAR that is, your best ability is variability and Mike has the Titans poised for another playoff run as they dominate the Jaguars. 31, 10.
Starting point is 00:04:32 What, what? Dang in Florida where Ronald Jones and me saw a lot of touches and Brady was counting throws as Adam Durwitz Thielen gave the Vikings another sa-la-la-la-la-loss and it'll be another long December for Minnesota fans. Dave Matthews, Dan Bailey crashed and burned as they couldn't find the space between the uprights
Starting point is 00:04:54 and punter, Great Britain Colquitt has the Vikings brexitting from the playoff race. Bucks, 26, the Vikings, 14. In Cincinnati where Bran the Broken, Allen was unable to use his legs and in a touching tribute to Cersei and Jamie Lannister, the Bengals have graduated from kissing their sisters in ties to losing outright.
Starting point is 00:05:15 Alden Smith and Wesson dominated the Bengals' shotgun, returning a fumble for six and Candy Dalton to Paul Lard ruined the Bengals' already fat chance of winning a game. America's team 30, Bengals 7. To Las Vegas where in a touching tribute to my good friend Ted Kennedy, the Raiders started with a few negligent drives leading to a car getting sucked by the Revers as a quarterback strolled
Starting point is 00:05:42 in the desert. T.Y. Axis Hilton and Zach Pascwell's triangle were extremely coefficient taking all the right angles and that's a good sign for Frank Reichangels' offense. Talking math boom. Jonathanos Taylor snapped off 150 yards and two scores in a Colts route. Colts 44, the.
Starting point is 00:06:02 Oh. Raiders. In New York where Dan Conner, Tom Arnold Rose and Caught a Touchdown resulting in the cancellation of the Giants season, taking one too many and Grambian. Billy Dre Cyrus Kirkpatrick gave Giants fans Kenyon Drakey breaky heart wondering if Colt McCoy is a one hit wonder and it's bad times for the G men.
Starting point is 00:06:32 As they lose a must win to the Cardinals 26 to seven. The G men. In Arizona where the Washington football team played the 49ers. Huh? Huh? Arizona? Huh?
Starting point is 00:06:48 The desert? Huh? Martin's sweat baby sweat said UNJD. McKissac ain't nothing but mammals. Let's bend the Niners over like it's the Discovery Channel. Chase Young Sheldon exploded into a big bang making Nick Mullins look like a solar system QB. Galaxy brain boom.
Starting point is 00:07:05 The Washington football team takes a commanding lead and the NFC beast with a 23-15-1. Up to the Windy City where Deshawn William Scott Watson asked, dude, where's where your car? As Mr. Biscay was finally playing like a guy who drove a 1997 Toyota Camry in his pre-draft interviews. Larry David Montgomery was pretty, pretty, pretty good. Running for an 80 yard touchdown and Jimmy Hoffa Graham
Starting point is 00:07:33 was a great teamster burying the Texans with a second half touchdown. The Texans are finishing out the stretch and unfortunately Romeo must die as Billy Shakespeare O'Brien will take him out in a double coach suicide. Bears 36, Texan 7. Standing on the corner, James Winston down in Nola, side to side to see.
Starting point is 00:08:06 It's Jalen Hurts so good, and he hurts so good. Candy Orange, we need to score, please. No, we didn't write the other part of Hurts so good. Let's do that again. Let's just say Hurts so good a third time. OK. All right, ready? Here we go.
Starting point is 00:08:26 Standing on the corner, James Winston down in Nola, side to side to see. It's Jalen Hurts so good, and he hurts so good. And he hurts so good, he hurts so good. Come on, New Orleans, we need to score, please. Put James in, we don't need to see more screens. I forgot to write the rest of that, teach. It's a secret second verse.
Starting point is 00:08:57 Eagles upset the saints. All right, week 14 in the books, brought to you by our friends Ed Whoop. Whoop, the fitness membership service that provides 24-7 personalized insights that makes it the perfect tool to help you train for whatever you have going on in your life. January 1st is coming up. You're probably going to try to get in the gym.
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Starting point is 00:09:48 Sleep better, recover faster, train smarter this season and beyond with whoopwhop. Whoop is a great app and a great strap. So go check it out. Okay, let's do it. Week 14 and the Pittsburgh Steelers are the worst 11 and 2 team of all time. Frauds.
Starting point is 00:10:14 Frauds was the word I was going to use. Well, either that, it's a combination. They're fraudulent, but also... It hurts me because I love... Okay, they're not fraudulent because injuries have obviously had a big thing to do with their defense, right? But they can't run the football. Well, if I'm going to be fair, because I've called the Ravens frauds
Starting point is 00:10:34 and I like the Steelers, I'm like, for some reason I always love the Steelers. I love the city of Pittsburgh. But if we're being fair, that's a fraudulent 11 and 2. That is a team that you do not feel good about when it comes to December football going into January. Let's just say they're not peaking at the right time because that first half was close and I... It actually, I know no game comes down to one play, but it really did come
Starting point is 00:11:02 down to that pick six because the Steelers defense was kind of having their way with the Bills in the first half. Big Ben throws the pick six to end the first half. The Bills go in with the lead and then Josh Allen and the Bills offense kind of take over and beat the Steelers pretty soundly in the second half. So I'm sitting here being like, what are the Steelers? We'll get to the Bills in a second. So yeah, the Steelers, they're kind of who we thought they were going to be
Starting point is 00:11:31 because if you look at their start of the year schedule, you remember they played like nobody. They beat the Ravens once and the Titans once and that's about it. But obviously injuries have had a lot to do with it. They're not great running the ball. They stink running the ball, in fact. So I think that a lot of Pittsburgh would actually agree with us saying that yeah, they're not, this isn't a classic Pittsburgh Steelers team
Starting point is 00:11:53 because they're fun on offense occasionally, but when it comes down to it, I'll put it this way. If it's fourth and three, do you trust your football team to get three yards? Do you trust the Steelers to do it in a short yard? Because I don't think that they have a running game to speak of. It's just basically like we've got MapleTron, we've got JuJu, and we can do some nice things in the passing game. But this isn't like classic Steelers football, you know?
Starting point is 00:12:21 No, and Big Ben was not good, and you need Big Ben to be good because there have been times where he has not been good and the defenses kind of made him look okay with the end result, but he wasn't good tonight. And I don't know, this is, I hate to say this, I don't want to say it, but are we getting to the end with Big Ben? That's my question. His pump fakes were pretty hilarious tonight.
Starting point is 00:12:46 I love Ben's pump fakes because people give him a lot of credit for him and say that he's one of the best at doing it. I don't think Big Ben is actually pump faking. I think he just, he changes his mind at the last second. Correct. So he's fooling him. You're seeing Big Ben's brain make a live reaction to what he's seeing through his eyes. He's not thinking like, I'm going to fake this pass
Starting point is 00:13:06 and really get these guys to bite. He's just like, oh shit, that guy might pick it off. I better not toss it. And to maybe walk back that a little bit, it might not be as much that Big Ben is coming to the end, but without that running game, which they have none of, I mean, James Conner, they ran the ball 10 times, he ran the ball 10 times for 18 yards tonight.
Starting point is 00:13:26 Like the Buffalo Bills defense has turned a corner, but if you can't run the ball at all, Big Ben is kind of exposed a little bit. You can't expect, like the Steelers have a formula. They have a way to win football games. They have an unbelievable defense. And if they can figure out a way to get a little bit of a running game, Big Ben throwing the ball 30 times is right about what you need,
Starting point is 00:13:48 not 40, not 50. So I don't know, I don't know what to make of the Steelers other than they're just not good right now. The last two games and on top of that PFT, a little look ahead, a little look ahead for you. So they play the Bengals on Monday night football, which will, you'll hear a little time travel because we actually came that revelation in a minute.
Starting point is 00:14:09 They play the Colts, which will be a tough game, especially a Colts team that is starting to play a little bit better right now. They handle the Raiders. If the Browns can win a couple of games here, Browns can win the division. I was looking at 17, the Browns and the Steelers could play for the division,
Starting point is 00:14:26 which could you imagine how much fun that would be? If the Browns win tonight, Monday night, then yeah, they've got a pretty, they've got an easy schedule. They're going, well, they're going to the Giants. It's not a, it's not a gimme. It's a tough game. And then after that, they're going at the Jets. They're just basically living in New Jersey
Starting point is 00:14:42 for the next couple of weeks. And then yeah, it would be against the Steelers at home in Cleveland for the AFC. You imagine that also would be a game. And I hate to say this for Browns fans, but if the Steelers and the Browns play for the division in week 17, The Steelers are winning.
Starting point is 00:14:58 100 times out of 100 times. The Steelers are going to win that game. 100 times out of 100 times. So yeah, I don't really know what to make of the Steelers. I mean, listen, they're going to make the playoffs. They will, if they win the division, let's say they finish 13 and three, they'll get the two seed.
Starting point is 00:15:12 They'll probably have a decent chance to win their first game. Who knows what happens after that. But what we really need to talk about is the bills being for real, for real. Because they are the opposite of the Steelers in that they are peaking at the right time. They are starting to play their best football right now.
Starting point is 00:15:29 Their defense is starting to look very good, starting to come back together. Their offense has looked, you know, good all season, but it all is starting to come to fruition for Buffalo. Since that, that two game stretch where they played the weird Tuesday night game against the Titans and they got killed. And then they played the Chiefs on like a Monday afternoon
Starting point is 00:15:51 and got, and got beat pretty soundly. They have won every game except the Kyler Murray Hail Mary. And they've done it pretty convincingly. And they've beaten some good teams in there. They've beaten the Patriots. They've beaten the Seahawks. They, you know, the 49ers, the Steelers tonight. Like the bills are starting to put it all together.
Starting point is 00:16:11 And the bills I feel like are the team that can beat the Chiefs. They're not going to, but I feel like they're the one team. If everything goes right. They're the team that could be there. They are the one team where you literally say to yourself, okay, they got something here where they need, they need Josh Allen to play his perfect game. They need their defense to play their perfect game.
Starting point is 00:16:33 They need today. It's white to intercept Patrick Mahomes twice who, by the way, today is white. Great suggestion saying that the Buffalo bill should have a live Buffalo that they grow themselves in the stadium. That's his words, not mine. They grow their own Buffalo and then it just roams the sidelines. Love it.
Starting point is 00:16:50 I, I cannot, I cannot agree with that more vociferously. The bills with a live mascot would be great team. So yes, I agree. They could potentially beat the Chiefs probably won't, but they could do it. I just love the, man, this is so sad that the bills don't have fans because this is such a fun bills team and they're starting to, to, to, to play well, lay down the stretch.
Starting point is 00:17:15 They're going to win the AFC East. Like this is, fuck man. Yes, Buffalo, way to go Buffalo. Yeah. Way to go. Way to go Josh Allen. Way to go Buffalo. Fucking love it.
Starting point is 00:17:30 You love to see it. There was a little bit of snow tonight. Yep. But you're right. It's not the same without, if, if snow falls in Orchard Park and there's not Bill's Mafia there to piss their name into it. Did it really happen? Mm hmm.
Starting point is 00:17:41 And I'm reading this right now. Buffalo bills dominate Pittsburgh Steelers joined AFC's elite tier of teams. Let's go. Let's go Buffalo. So who's in that elite tier? Uh, let me click. It would be the Chiefs, probably the Steelers still. And then, uh, yeah, that's about it.
Starting point is 00:17:59 Chiefs in the bills. I don't know who else would be in that, in that tier. But yeah, that, that was a statement win for the, for the bills, which I feel like the bills get a lot of statement wins now because they had such a bad stretch so many years. Yeah. It's always kind of like shocking to realize that the bills are legit. Yes.
Starting point is 00:18:16 But they're legit. They're definitely. They are legit folks. What is this game? For real, for real. They play on. Yeah. They play Saturday.
Starting point is 00:18:24 They play on Saturday. It's so stupid. At 430 in the afternoon. The NFL is going up against conference championship Saturday and I fucking hate it. So they're playing in Denver, which Josh Allen might throw the ball out of the entire state of Colorado. Correct.
Starting point is 00:18:37 Correct. But yes, it's Saturday at 430. And then just a little reminder here, there will be a game on Christmas. Yeah. On Friday. And three games. Saturday. This isn't three games.
Starting point is 00:18:50 That Saturday as well. I feel like we're just getting bucockied with football. Yeah. I don't know what's going to happen from all angles. I don't know what's going to happen with the bowl schedule, but at least we have these spread out games. But yeah, so that was Sunday night football. The bills dominate the Steelers Steelers question marks all around.
Starting point is 00:19:05 I know. Can they get healthy? They're defense is still good. And it's just like you got to find a way to run the ball because Big Ben can't do it all on himself. Collinsworth was trending tonight and whenever you see the announcer trending, you think, oh my God, this guy either really fucked something up or like made a minor error on whether or not a coach should go for and forth
Starting point is 00:19:24 down. And then stats Twitter just like made it the biggest deal in the world. But with Collinsworth, it was that he didn't realize that Buffalo was close to Canada. And then classic mistake. Marshall Lynch. Marshall Lynch. He didn't know.
Starting point is 00:19:37 He thought it was New York City. Yep. But Buffalo, I'll give this a bit. Buffalo is not a very Canadian city. No. Even though it's very close. I would say like Denver, Seattle are the most Canadian American cities. Yes.
Starting point is 00:19:50 Yes. All right. Let's get to the rest of the schedule. Let's get through. We'll start in order. We'll start with the Chiefs and the Dolphins. Chiefs 33 Dolphins 27. This is what you call a double win PFT.
Starting point is 00:20:04 Oh, why is that? A double win. Well, the Chiefs won. So that was a win. That's one win. That was a win. And the Dolphins fought really hard. And I was actually like there was a moment there where the Chiefs ran away with it.
Starting point is 00:20:17 They were down. Dolphins up 10-0. Chiefs come back with I think like 30 basically unanswered or 21 unanswered. They're up 30 to 10. And the Dolphins kept on fighting. So it was 30 unanswered. The Dolphins kept on fighting. Their defense can hang.
Starting point is 00:20:33 Their defense turned Patrick Mahomes over a couple of times. Three times, I want to say. They have 19 straight games now with defensive turnovers. So the Dolphins, even in a loss for a building team trying to establish something, I'm counting it as a win. Now they need a win because they still got to try to make the playoffs. But my personal records, that's a win. How about this?
Starting point is 00:20:56 Mike Greenberg's dumb rule. If you pick off Patrick Mahomes three times, that should count. That should be like the second tiebreaker. So going into the playoffs, if you're tied with somebody, it should be like conference record. And then how many times did you pick off Patrick Mahomes? Because three times, that seems like their defense is legit if they can do that. But even though they picked him off three times,
Starting point is 00:21:17 it's like, yeah, well, he's still going to get the ball. He's still going to keep throwing. With Mahomes, it's like that's collateral damage. Right. He's just, if he's going to spray the ball over the field, he might turn the ball over occasionally, but then he'll come back and throw for two touchdowns. And he's got like a very short-term memory when it comes to that.
Starting point is 00:21:32 So it's like, if you're the Dolphins, it's like, yeah, you know what? We did lose to the Broncos, but we also intercepted Patrick Mahomes three times. Yes. So that should actually take precedence. I agree. It should be like when they had Rock and Jock and Dan Cortez,
Starting point is 00:21:45 Rock and Jock and you could hit like the 40 pointer. If you intercept Patrick Mahomes three times in a single game, the game is over right then and there. That's it. I'm okay with that. It's whoever wins after 60 minutes or gets three interceptions first of Patrick Mahomes. So Mahomes, I mean, like even in his bad games,
Starting point is 00:22:03 which I wouldn't even classify this as a bad game. He just had a couple of plays like he had the interceptions. He also had a 30 yard sack, which is now breaks the record for the longest sack without like a fumble involved. Tana Hill had a fumbled sack, 38 yards. The previous longest sack for no fumbles was Matt McGloin, 29 yards. Patrick Mahomes. Now we've, hey, Jeff Schwartz has told us drifting out of the pocket.
Starting point is 00:22:29 He drifted backwards out of the pocket. Drifting out of the pocket is a problem. But with all that, the Chiefs still win in relative ease. Like the Dolphins came back at the end, but we never really thought that the Chiefs were in trouble. And I just, something about the Chiefs, man, they're just so goddamn good. And then Tyree Kill is, I hate using this term because
Starting point is 00:22:52 it's fucking lame as hell, but he is a cheat code. Cause it feels like anytime the Chiefs, they're like, oh, maybe they're struggling to down 10 nothing. All right. Well, let's just have Tyree Kill run past everyone, whether it be a pass play. I think he ran a touchdown as well. Like he'll, he'll just do that.
Starting point is 00:23:09 And they know they have that in their back pocket at all times. Yeah. Like, oh, let's let him get deep and pass the defense and we'll throw a bomb to him. If we need a quick seven, it's almost like the Chiefs are always toying with teams because they have that where it's like, oh, listen, we're down. That's fine.
Starting point is 00:23:25 We'll just do a couple of plays for Tyree Kill and we'll be back and we'll be winning and then the game will be over. Well, what the Chiefs do is kind of like, it's the opposite of what Hugh Jackson was trying to do with Nick Chubb a couple of years ago, but he couldn't figure out a way to get the ball into Nick Chubb's hand on a handoff. If Tyree Kill, if you're not getting the ball to your
Starting point is 00:23:41 playmakers with Andy Reed, he's like, why don't we just hand him the ball? And then he'll just, they did that with Odell Beckham on the Browns also this year. It's like, it's pretty easy. If you have a guy that's better at running than everybody on the defense and you can't complete a pass to him, just, just hand him the ball and then let him run.
Starting point is 00:23:56 Yes. And sometimes that can work really well. In space. He also leads the league in runs that end up with him grabbing his hamstring and you being like, oh, is he out for a while now? That's just because the human body isn't meant to do what he does. Right.
Starting point is 00:24:09 And his hamstrings like, I just need a five. Just give me five after this play and I'll be fine. Skip after like these big plays. I'm like, oh, there goes Tyree Kill again. He's out for a while. Yeah. No, he's fine. He leads the league in getting nicked.
Starting point is 00:24:21 Yes. He gets, you know what he does? He gets shaken up sometimes. And then he comes right back in. That might be my favorite euphemism for an injury. Yeah. And sometimes when announcers use it, when it's like an obvious concussion,
Starting point is 00:24:30 they're like, oh, and he's shaken up a little bit out there. There's a bell wrong. His brain is no longer connected to the stim. But yeah, Tyree Kill, awesome. Very fun to watch in open space. Patrick on the sack. Yes. You know, the guards, bad sack, hilarious sack.
Starting point is 00:24:44 I actually, I looked up specifically the, you know, that dot system that they use to diagram the plays, which shows the dots just drifting down the field. At some point, the nerds were like, where are you going? We're going to take every human element out of football and even the game film. We're going to replace it with computer software.
Starting point is 00:25:00 And so I'm drifting back. I'm confident that with enough grit and determination, Derek Carr can absolutely break that record. Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely break that record. Such good balance. When you get a sack over 20 yards, that's officially action.
Starting point is 00:25:15 Yeah. That's a play that should be on a Tuesday night, ball state versus like bowling green. We do need to talk also about Andy Reed's face mask, the COVID mask that he's wearing. He keeps getting puffier. I don't know if that's his breath that's extending it out. He's like a balloon.
Starting point is 00:25:30 A poorly inflated balloon. A balloon or like some sort of like alien that uses an oxygen bag that just gradually inflates. It looks like it's got Taco Bell in it, which is fine. He's definitely hiding something under there. He's got something in there. I would like to see Andy Reed wear a face mask that has a print of his mouth and mustache on it.
Starting point is 00:25:48 So it just looks like Andy Reed's face. Someone should make the meme where, Billy, you should make this. It's Andy Reed's face. And then on the inside, it shows the inside of the mask. And it's just a rib that's just sitting there that he's just gnawing on all game long. I like to think that it's gnawing.
Starting point is 00:26:02 It's either got a rib or it's corn on the cob on a rotating like rotisserie type spit. Yes. It's just like munching on it and it goes back and forth like a typewriter so we can clean that cob off. I like that. So the Chiefs now have, well, we're still watching the Steelers-Bills game, which will be confusing
Starting point is 00:26:20 because we started the show talking about the ending. Time traveling, baby. Time traveling. But the Chiefs look like they're going to possibly have the number one seed, which makes a team that can't really be beat even more unbeatable with the number one seed this year being that much more important. And they've got a packed house at Arrowhead, right?
Starting point is 00:26:39 Yeah. They have, what, 17,000 people in this team? Yeah. So they do have the biggest home field advantage. Home field advantage. Also shout out to Tua because he did play a lot better in this game. Like he had a little bit of a weird start,
Starting point is 00:26:50 but he started to throw the ball down the field more, make some big plays. That's, again, either no wins when you lose, but if you could have as close to a win in a loss, it would be this for the Dolphins, where they competed with the Chiefs. They had a chance at the end, even though it wasn't really a chance.
Starting point is 00:27:07 And Tua played well. What more can you ask for? And the defense turned over to Patrick Holmes. What more can you ask for? Like that's a game where if they meet again in the playoffs, the Dolphins aren't going to walk into it being like, well, we're going to get our asses kicked. They're like, hey, we can hang with these guys.
Starting point is 00:27:20 It was a statement lost. And it directly contradicts the age-old wisdom from Trent Dillford when he said, I'd like a private jet. And then he followed it up by saying, you cannot lose and win in the NFL at the same time. At the same time. Not true. I think this counts as a win for the Dolphins.
Starting point is 00:27:34 Congrats to the Dolphins for beating the Chiefs. Great job. I think it's fair to say, I think we had this take back when the Raiders beat the Chiefs earlier this year. It's good that the Chiefs lost early. Yeah. Yes. Absolutely no pressure on them to go on defeated this year.
Starting point is 00:27:47 Yeah. And they avenged their loss. Yeah. So it's even better. And then last thing I wrote down was, so we had this discussion earlier in the week, Travis Kelsey versus Gronk. Now, for my money, I still think Gronk is the greatest
Starting point is 00:28:02 tight end of all time. But the fact that that's even starting to become a conversation is a testament to how goddamn good Travis Kelsey is. Yeah. And he's cleaned up the little unsportsmanlike conducts that he used to get like three times a game. He's not fully extending his arm into the defender's face when he makes a first down motion after a catch.
Starting point is 00:28:20 I don't know. I kind of missed that Travis Kelsey though. He was a wild card. Yeah. This Travis Kelsey is like too buttoned up. He will get the benefit of like Gronk aging while he's still in his prime. But again, if you remember Gronk in his prime,
Starting point is 00:28:32 you're like, that was a different beast altogether. Right. But he's still unbelievable. Billy's got to take about baby Gronk. The difference between Kelsey and Gronk is that you've never seen Kelsey give a hit when he's running the ball. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:44 Kelsey takes hits and absorbs them. He runs through people. He tries to avoid contact if possible. Sometimes Gronk would unnecessarily initiate contact. I feel like Kelsey also is exceptional at getting open from the homes, like sitting down and finding those spots. If Mahomes has more than three or four seconds,
Starting point is 00:29:04 Travis Kelsey will be open. Yeah. He's a focused Gronk when it comes to running routes. He's like, if you gave Gronk Ritalin. Yeah. But I'm not saying like to hype him up. I'm saying if he had ADD and he gave it to him to calm him down and focus in, that's kind of what Kelsey is.
Starting point is 00:29:19 But you give and you take with that because then you don't get the crazy Gronkness. Right. Next up, Bucks Vikings talking about losing and winning a game. So the Vikings kind of dominated this game. They had the ball for 20 minutes more than the Bucks. They had like 10 more first downs.
Starting point is 00:29:40 They also had Dan Bailey on their team. Yeah. So Dan Bailey is the first kicker to miss more than six kicks in two games since the NFL AFL merger. And Dan Bailey last week, this is never good for a kicker, but last week he needed Mike Zimmer
Starting point is 00:29:59 to give him a vote of confidence. Mike Zimmer last week said, Dan's had a great year. Been good in practice this week. Talked to him the other day. He is confident and he'll be fine. After this game, he misses four kicks, three field goals, one extra point, 10 points off the board.
Starting point is 00:30:16 Mike Zimmer's quote was, at this point, we're not really worried about feelings anymore. There you go. I'd say Dan Bailey, you probably don't have a job. He's worse at his job than anyone else in the NFL at this current moment. And he's starter in the NFL. It's tough for him because he's also a product
Starting point is 00:30:32 of just being a Minnesota Vikings kicker. Right. That position will never be good. It's like the Bears quarterback. It's like the drummer for Spinal Tap. Yes. You're going to keep dying. It's a curse.
Starting point is 00:30:43 It's the... The quarterback for the Cleveland Browns. Yeah. The pianist for the Grateful Dead. There are curse positions in the world. Yeah. They're living in the kicking version of, what's the movie where everybody dies all the time?
Starting point is 00:30:54 Final Destination. Sixth Sense. Yeah. Final Dest... No, he was dead the whole movie. The entire movie. The whole time. Spoiler alert.
Starting point is 00:31:02 He was constantly dead. But yeah, they keep... And Mike Zimmer's not doing him any favors either because I think Mike Zimmer hates him. So he's like, yeah, keep going out. I'm going to keep sending you out to try progressively more difficult field goals throughout this game.
Starting point is 00:31:13 But they weren't even that bad. Like a dad making his son smoke cigarettes until they puke. Yeah. It's like, okay, keep missing. Keep missing. A 36 yard or a 54 yard or a 46 yard. Now, if you... 54, that's fine.
Starting point is 00:31:25 Guys, miss that. But 36 and 46 are easy in the NFL. For NFL kickers, you should make that. You should make both. It was Mike Florey who was like, how are you going to send them out there to attempt a 46 yard or on grass? He's like, well, Mike,
Starting point is 00:31:38 a lot of field goals are attempted. They do a pretty good job cutting it in the NFL. It's pretty short. Yeah. So you're not playing at Notre Dame against USC when they go up to your knees. But so this game was weird to me because I was expecting the Bucks to win easily and kind of handle the Vikings
Starting point is 00:31:54 because we talked about, you know, Tom Brady off a bye. If the Bucks are going to put it all together, this is right when they'll start doing it. I wasn't like overly impressed. I mean, they won the game. They covered the spread, but the Vikings almost like they kind of got in their own way. I feel like the Vikings had chances to win this game
Starting point is 00:32:13 and I expected the Bucks to dominate a little bit more than they did. So now I'm sitting here being like, I don't know. Maybe the Bucks will never figure it out this year. This was a big time. Took care of business game for the Bucks. They handled their business at home against an inferior opponent.
Starting point is 00:32:28 Their defensive line is really good. I feel like we should take a second though to appreciate and Dominic and Sue, who's playing really well and somehow, like his arms are bigger than they've ever been before. Yes. They're like the size of my waist and then his head, I don't know how this works,
Starting point is 00:32:44 but his head is bigger than his helmet. He just looks terrifying out there. And then JPP with another strip sack. Yup. And the announcers wanted to be like, he took a handoff from Kirk Cousins. Yup. But you can't say that.
Starting point is 00:32:57 Can't do that. No, so the Bucks defense is very good. I actually was a little surprised though. Dalvin Cook had a hundred yards. Like the Bucks rush defense is a very good rush defense. I think that's the first time a team has run for a hundred and a year on them. But to be fair with Dalvin Cook,
Starting point is 00:33:11 that's not that bad to give up a hundred yards. No. But they are a hundred and two, but they are a very, very good run defense. So that's another one where I just don't, I don't trust the Bucks. I don't know what to make of the Bucks. I feel like they're going to flame out in hilarious
Starting point is 00:33:26 like fashion in the playoffs. The good news for the Bucks is they play the Falcons two times in the last three games and the Lions are in that sandwich. That's so funny that they left the Falcons to him twice at the very end. Right. So the Bucks.
Starting point is 00:33:40 Like in the NFL's brain, they were like, this is going to be great. So there are two division rivals that will be competing for the wild card or the top of the division, get to play each other twice. And it didn't quite shake out that way, but it is good for the Bucks. They are going, I think you're right.
Starting point is 00:33:52 They're going to lose the playoff. Eleven and five. Right. They should go eleven and five. They're going to be fraudulent eleven and five. Yeah. People will be like, oh, watch out for the Bucks. They won their last four games.
Starting point is 00:34:00 I just don't, something about them. And here's the hot take is you got to get, what's his name? Scotty Miller. Involved more. Is Scotty Miller the most important player on that, on that Bucks offense? He's there.
Starting point is 00:34:12 He's open and it's like, maybe you have, you can't have three number one receivers. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like maybe it's, and Gronk, maybe it's good to have one guy who just can wiggle around and get open all the time. Who's the man?
Starting point is 00:34:25 Yeah. The end of the first half was funny too on that Hail Mary that they threw where they interfered with Gronk. Yes. Then they got one untimed down, which I just, I love the concept of a down that doesn't have time. It doesn't exist. It's amazing.
Starting point is 00:34:36 But then they kicked the field goal from the one, which I guess is probably, you take the points, you get free points, but Bruce Arians, I expected more from you at that point. And I had a dumb idea when I was watching this game too. When Dan Bailey kept missing, I thought one of them was tipped. And I thought, why don't,
Starting point is 00:34:50 why don't NFL teams just sign the fastest people on earth to rush on a field goal from the edge? The guys that are unblocked all the time. That's what Beamer used to do. He used to recruit, or he used to just like swing by track and field practice occasionally at Virginia Tech and be like, Hey, have you ever worn a football helmet?
Starting point is 00:35:08 Right. I'm going to be on my special teams. You're going to play some Beamer ball. There was a year when Madden had a cheat code where you could basically get, remember you could get up against the line, but you couldn't cross it on the edge. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:22 So you could basically push up and then as soon as they snapped it, you'd be able to block to kick. Yeah. I can't remember what year it was, but it was awesome. Why did they make it? It made it impossible to block field goals.
Starting point is 00:35:31 Like no one has ever blocked a kick in a normal video game in the last 20 years. I know. What were you going to say, Billy? It's when you turn penalties off. Oh, there it is. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:40 That's a penalty. Cheat code. All right. Next up, Bears Texans. Congratulations. Well, here. Okay. Allow me to dream for a second.
Starting point is 00:35:50 I crunched some numbers. The Bears, if they went out, they could actually get back into this thing. It's crazy. It's stupid. They're going to probably lose the Vikings next week and break my heart one last time. But this win, technically, if they went out
Starting point is 00:36:04 and the Cardinals lose one of their last three, they would be in over the Cardinals. They still have to play the Vikings, Jaguars, and Packers. Packers might have everything cinched up. So who knows? Whatever. I'm going to allow myself to dream for a second.
Starting point is 00:36:17 It's being like, wow, next Sunday is a huge game against the Vikings. Real talk, though. I'm happy for Mitch. I'm happy for Mitch because it can't be easy having to live in the shadow to Sean Watson and Patrick Mahomes. You don't get to decide where you're picked.
Starting point is 00:36:31 That's Ryan Pace's fault. Mitch is a good guy. He's a good teammate by all accounts, all these things. So for him to come out and play better than to Sean Watson was nice for him. He was awesome in the first half. I don't know where the Texas defense is terrible, but I don't also know where this play calling like,
Starting point is 00:36:50 why hasn't this been here more often, where he gets a lot of short passes to get rhythm, moves around in the pocket. The run game obviously worked because the Texas D-line is bad. But today, Mitch was QB ratings 126.7 to Sean was 101.9. Mahomes was 91.9. I'm just going to say it. Today, Mitch was king.
Starting point is 00:37:12 Well, here's a fun step. I know you saw this earlier because they put it up on the screen, but Mitch is only one game behind to Sean Watson in terms of career victories. And he has pretty impressive. Two less career losses. So his win percentage is better. Correct.
Starting point is 00:37:27 OK. So I think the numbers bear it out that that was the correct pick for Mitch. He had three touchdowns today to Sean Watson had one. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. He did. He played well.
Starting point is 00:37:37 And I think it's OK to be like, hey, it's good for Mitch. Happy for Mitch. The Bears are still on the outside looking in. They're still a bad team. They're a bad coach team. The cynic in me is like, oh, this is the perfect example of the Bears winning late in the season in a somewhat meaningless game so that everyone keep their job.
Starting point is 00:37:53 Like they'll finish eight and eight. Like, well, we were close. We were right there. No, you weren't right. We peaked too late at the very end. I also. So part of the dream scenario. And this is the nightmare dream scenario.
Starting point is 00:38:06 I think that I think the Packers will probably get the first seed. We'll get to it later, but say the Packers have the second seed and they can't get the first seed for some reason. Week 17 Packers come to Chicago Packers let the Bears win just so they can kick the shit out of them in the first round of the playoffs up in Lambo. That would be something that would be my nightmare. Because I would totally buy myself it.
Starting point is 00:38:26 Yeah. You would get amped up for that game. Yes. I think it's impossible for the football team to play against the Bears in the playoffs, right? Basically. Yes. Unless I probably like if the Buccaneers just.
Starting point is 00:38:36 No, it's impossible. If they all die. The Bears can only get the seventh. If the team disowns the NFL and goes and starts their own football league, then it's possible. But besides that, that would be a nightmare scenario, but at least you'd make the playoffs. The Texas defense sucks.
Starting point is 00:38:51 They just suck. JJ Y. I guess it's still good. I think maybe they just stopped taking the steroids since they got caught for them. No, their defense was like, yeah, my hands are. That's all that I know how to do. I can't.
Starting point is 00:39:02 I can't do anything else. So you guys are fucked from now on. Their defensive line is very, very bad. The run 2.0. David Montgomery with an 80 yard run. No big deal. I want to say shades of the run. The run.
Starting point is 00:39:13 Yeah. Because to properly establish the run as being this mythical play, you can't ever say that it has been surpassed. No. It does. It wasn't. Shades of the initial run. Shades.
Starting point is 00:39:25 It made us think of that. The first one, I'd say, was much better. Oh, absolutely. Because it was against the Packers. Right. A better team. Right. And also, he got tackled, so he got to stay on offense.
Starting point is 00:39:34 Right. He turned the ball over. Got a field go out of it. And then shout out Khalil Mack because, you know, last week, the defense definitely kind of quit. This week, the defense did not. Khalil Mack was a fucking beast. It's nice that he's, you know, got the, there's a pride aspect.
Starting point is 00:39:50 That it's involved with the defense and the running out the string of the season. So next week, who knows if they beat the Vikings, if they beat the Vikings, I will be telling myself, because then it's Jaguars, then who knows? So I will be telling myself all kinds of fucking ridiculous shit if they can beat the Vikings next week. So then you got Pedro, then you got Curtin, then game seven,
Starting point is 00:40:10 anything can happen. This is, this is what everyone wants. I will be very, very upset if they lose the Vikings next week. They've drawn me back in just when I thought I was out. They bring me back in. God damn it. How did they not? How did they lose the line?
Starting point is 00:40:23 So I think that I think the issue is that Mitch seems he's way more confident when he has a lead to begin with. Yeah. Like when he has a lead, like a 30 point lead or 30 point leader or just when they're, when they're winning, because when he's behind, he's like, oh shit, he gets into oh shit mode. I got to do something. There's expectation on me again.
Starting point is 00:40:39 I, Mitch, you know, you don't do well when people don't want this. People are putting their hopes and dreams into you. So if they can get out to an early, if David Montgomery can score on the first offensive play from scrimmage. Every time. Every time. Yep. I feel like they might have a shot to hang in.
Starting point is 00:40:53 I agree. I agree. All right. Next up, Cowboys Bengals, Andy Dalton revenge game. And when I say that, it was really just the Cowboys defense was really good. This was a game that red zone forgot. We did have though. Here's a spin zone for Bengals fans.
Starting point is 00:41:11 You had a butt fumble. You had a legit butt fumble. Trayvon Williams butt fumbled. Alden Smith scored a touchdown off of it. It was pretty much an identical play to the Mark Sanchez. It just didn't happen in pride prime time and you're not the Jets. So, uh, you, you avoided that. It kind of went under.
Starting point is 00:41:30 It slept under the rug and then yeah, the Cowboys, I don't know. Like the Cowboys basically established themselves as not one of the worst three teams in the NFL. Good job. That was basically what they were playing for. Okay. You are 27. And they're not mathematically eliminated yet, which is nice.
Starting point is 00:41:48 Of course not. Somehow they're not in the FC beast. And yeah, Andy Dalton, it was nice to see him go back because you know that he wanted to win this game. Yeah. This was probably meant a lot to him. Yes. He ran him out of town even though he had only been there for infinity years and
Starting point is 00:42:01 never won a playoff game. Yep. It's insane how they treated Andy Dalton. It's very unfair. Very unfair. Very unfair. Brandon Allen, Brandon Allen is so much better than Ryan Finley. Yes.
Starting point is 00:42:12 Because these are two quarterbacks that I don't think anyone really has a beat on. There's no reason why you should fill your brain with any information about Brandon Allen and Ryan Finley. But when you watch them play, like I've watched them play off and on for the last, what, four weeks. Brandon Allen is like 20 times better than Ryan Finley is. And Ryan Finley sucks. Yes.
Starting point is 00:42:32 Like really, really bad. Ryan Finley is very bad. So I hope Brandon Allen's not hurt because I can't bear to watch three more weeks of Brian Finley. I forgot about this game too. The Bengals should be allowed to opt out, by the way, for the rest of the season. Do you know that we actually have a Bengals Monday night football game coming up? Are you serious?
Starting point is 00:42:49 Yes. Are you serious? I'm pretty sure they play the Steelers. Oh my God. I'm pretty sure they play the Steelers maybe week 16 on Monday night football. This is when the no flex. I think it's next week. Oh, it's next week.
Starting point is 00:43:00 Okay. The no flex. It'll be good to take a Monday night off. Yeah. The no flex of Monday night is a killer at this time of the year when we get Bengals on Monday. Although those two teams, they don't love, they don't like each other. People forget that back in like 2015, was it? I think it was 2015.
Starting point is 00:43:15 There was like a six month conversation where it was like the Bengals have taken over the place of the Ravens. Right. For the Steelers big rivals. Like these teams, this is AFC North football. You know what? That was the Antonio Brown, Vontez Burfitt. That's what they need to do.
Starting point is 00:43:30 They need to have, they need to be like, all right, we know Monday night football is going to suck. So let's get Joey Porter. Let's get Vontez Burfitt. Let's get, I don't know, maybe TJ Hushmanzada. Pacman Jones. Pacman Jones. Let's get a couple of the old guys out there.
Starting point is 00:43:46 Let's let them play like old timers day. Yeah. And we'll call it a Steelers win. So it won't even like just, but how much fun would it be to watch old type Troy Palamalu running around? Dude get Marvin, Marvin Lewis out there. Yes. That would prevent him from interviewing with the Bears.
Starting point is 00:44:01 I can't get Bill Cower out there. Yeah. I mean that, that was a very entertaining rivalry for the six months that it existed. Yes. And in my head, I was like, this is going to take over the Ravens. This is what I need to keep my finger on the pulse of was not the case. Although for the record, the Bengals should have won that playoff game. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:17 They should have won that playoff game. That one was a disaster. It was, it was a nightmare. That was a disaster. All right. Next up, we have Cardinals Giants, the Giants, not so good. So Joe Judge makes his first very big, very huge mistake of the season. He's been doing a great job.
Starting point is 00:44:34 But how do you let, we even said this. Daniel Jones should not be able to decide whether he's injured or not. Guess what? Daniel Jones is very injured. Daniel Jones got sacked eight times. Daniel Jones couldn't move. I think the Giants have a way better chance with Colt McCoy in this game than they do Daniel Jones and the Cardinals defense.
Starting point is 00:44:54 Like the Giants defense did an okay job. Kyler Murray got a little bit of his swag back running the ball. But you can't put a guy out there with one leg when half of his game is being a mobile quarterback. Daniel Jones, he is, he was very turnover prone again today. Had three fumbles against the same person. It was one guy. One guy. One guy.
Starting point is 00:45:16 One person, Hassan Reddick, who by the way, Baldy is busting a grape over the game film from Hassan Reddick right now. Hassan Reddick made him fumble three times. That's almost impossible to do to one quarterback. And then you have Colt McCoy on the sidelines. Colt McCoy's middle name is two wins. He will get you two wins in a season. Definitely.
Starting point is 00:45:34 If he's your 16 game starter, he'll get you two wins. Right the hot hands. If he fills in in the second half of one game and then has to start another one, he'll get you two wins. Don't ask him to get three. Don't ask him to get two. Dear Lord, don't ask him to get to four wins. Two.
Starting point is 00:45:48 He will get you two wins. And yeah, it was, it was a travesty that didn't start. As a fan of the division, I was pulling for the Giants. Now I will say, I'm not, I'm not apoplectic about the fact that the Giants lost. But I was, you saw, I was rooting for the Giants during that game. Yeah. Um, but yeah, Kyler Murray's back. He, um, I think he's just tired.
Starting point is 00:46:08 I think the first half of the season, he's like, man, they're really asking me to do a lot out here running and passing. Well, so I was looking at it in the three losses they had leading up to this game. He averaged 20 yards, uh, a game running this game. He had, I think like 47 or 50, but that makes a big difference. Like he was doing a good job with his feet. That's part of their offense that they need and they just didn't have it the last three weeks. So it was a good win for the Cardinals.
Starting point is 00:46:33 They stay alive. Um, we do have a little bit of a Mecca watch for Deandre Hopkins. So Deandre Hopkins has played in, uh, MetLife four times over 100 yards each time, averaging 138 yards per game. Is he, he just steps it up in the Mecca. That's like Chipper Jones and Shea Stadium. Yeah. He's just ready to go in the Mecca.
Starting point is 00:46:52 He's, he just kills the Jets and the Giants. We should name his, his daughter MetLife or Meadowlands. Meadowlands is actually a very pretty name. Meadowlands is a beautiful name. Meadowlands Hopkins. That's great. Done. Done.
Starting point is 00:47:04 Do it. Oh yeah. The Giants though, their, their offense was so, so bad. 58 yards in the first half, 159 total. I, I just don't understand how you let Daniel Jones play in that game because you just watch it and he can't move. Joe judge should have been able to sniff that out. He should have right away because you just can't like the Giants defense that they have
Starting point is 00:47:24 a, they have a recipe and it's, you know, controlling the clock, running the ball, not making mistakes and playing good defense. And then you just have Daniel Jones out there who can't do anything. And they were, I felt like the Giants every time we had the game on, but it felt like the Giants were in third and nine from their own 10 yard, 10 yard line, the entire game, the entire game. They were in that exact situation with a quarterback who was on one leg. And I mean, to be honest, the, the Cardinals, they didn't really impress me that much in
Starting point is 00:47:56 this one. Yeah. But defensively, they were okay. Yeah. But yeah, faith Hill, you said it. I don't, I don't think that this, I think that the Cardinals are going to lose their first game of the playoffs if they make it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:08 Oh, definitely. And I hope they don't make it. Um, all right. Next up, Broncos Panthers, Moxie, Drew Locks, Moxie is back. Yeah. Or did he play the Panthers? He played the Panthers and I've opted out of backing Drew Lock this year. So that means I can choose to opt back in.
Starting point is 00:48:26 And if that's the way I'm going to dismount that take, because I'm not going, if you think that Drew Lock becomes a pro bowler next year and I'm not going to claim that I was all over Drew Lock from the very start, my friend, you were fucked in the head because I will hop back on that take so fast. We'll make your head spin, but I've opted out this year at the very minimum. But yeah, Drew Lock had four touchdowns today. Panthers defense sucks. Not good.
Starting point is 00:48:47 Not good. This was a weird game that had high scoring, but I feel like another game that Red Zone kind of forgot. Like, we didn't really see a lot of this. This was the one game that we decided not to have on the TVs because both teams are out of it and not really playing for anything. But it felt like we just didn't see a lot of updates from it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:08 Well, we saw Jeremy Chin had another force bubble. Yeah, that's all he does. He's entering nose for the football territory. Yup. Big time. Big time. Christian McCaffrey, do we know what's actually wrong with him at this point? Everything.
Starting point is 00:49:19 Everything's wrong? Yeah. It's all a billion times a game. Yeah. Fucking Olivia Colpo. Oh, no, no. They're virgins. She told Mrs. McCaffrey they were virgins.
Starting point is 00:49:29 Not fucking. Oh, I'm sure that was believable. Yeah. Yeah. Big Ben just threw a pick to end that game. And oh, they're going to return it. Wait, what's 41 points? If I, I need one score here and the over's going to hit.
Starting point is 00:49:43 You're 48 and a half? Yeah. So a touchdown wouldn't get it. Shit. I'm bad at math. A touchdown and two point conversion would. Go for two. Book says go for two.
Starting point is 00:49:52 You're up 11. There's a lot of time. All right. So yeah, this game, I don't really have much else for this game. It was one of those games that are good for the Broncos. I still believe the Broncos have like a great roster going forward that they just need a quarterback. Like Broncos.
Starting point is 00:50:07 The Broncos, the Broncos I'll call it right now are going to be my team to make the playoffs next year after missing it this year. What about Drew Locke? If Drew Locke comes back. No. I disavow. I disavow. If I can find a quarterback, I will be in on the Broncos next year.
Starting point is 00:50:23 Big time. You know John Elway right now is he's very excited for this offseason. Yes. Because there's nothing that John Elway likes more than selecting a quarterback who sucks. The only thing he likes more is going on a hunt for a quarterback. So he's going to like, he's already like assembling binders filled with all the quarterbacks. He's going to find his guy. He's got.
Starting point is 00:50:40 Yeah. His, his office right now looks like Kerry Matheson homeland. Just like he's got Trey Lance circled with five Sharpies. I love it. I love it. Next up, tractor Cito Titans Jaguars tractor Cito, uh, Derek Henry, 215 yards, two touchdowns since 2018. He has four 200 yard games.
Starting point is 00:51:00 No other running back has more than one. Uh, and the Titans, I'm going to give the Titans some credit here because they got punked by the Browns last week. Yes. The Jaguars suck, but the Jaguars have been a little bit of gamey. You know what I mean? Like they've been in some games. So they, they actually were in the game against the Browns or in the game against the Vikings.
Starting point is 00:51:22 So for the Titans to kind of put it on the Jaguars, like that's what a good team does. They bounce back, they kick the shit out of an inferior opponent. I, they deserve credit for that. That's more than just, Oh, they beat the Jaguars. No, they killed the Jaguars and they kind of needed that type of win for me to get back into like, Ooh, the Titans could be a good playoff team. You know what big cat? It's tractor Cito season and I'm looking at the stats right.
Starting point is 00:51:47 I'm officially putting a 2k watch on Derek Henry right now. He's got 1532 rushing yards. He's got three games left. He plays the Lions, the Packers. We know they're, we know that run defensive soft. Yup. They gave up the run. Yup.
Starting point is 00:52:05 Then true the Texans, the Texans who gave up shades of the run. Yup. So three games he could get 2000 and it would be, I mean, I'm going to call the hashtag right now. Hashtag D E R R I 2k Henry. He should be in the MVP race. I think he is. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:24 But like more so than people will say right now, because you know the conversation is Mahomes versus Rogers. Yeah. He should absolutely be in the MVP race. He's going to be the third and then he should, then people will say the NFL is a quarterback driven league. So we got to give it to one of these guys. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:38 Or why don't we have an MVP and then why don't we have a quarterback of the year? Because the quarterbacks always win. The last time of running back one, the MVP is what? LT. Well, you know what happened then? Big Cat. Was that right, Jake? I'm pretty sure.
Starting point is 00:52:51 2006. What would happen would be they'd still give the MVP to a quarterback, then the second best quarterback would get the quarterback of the year. Quarterback of the year. Yeah. Yeah. AP in 2012. Oh, that's right.
Starting point is 00:53:02 And then LT. Yes. Yes. AP had 2000 years. But I feel like Derek Henry's got to be up there for like guys that if they were not on their team, their team would absolutely suck. Mm hmm. Yes.
Starting point is 00:53:12 Absolutely. And he's just a scary dude when he's coming around the corner with that, like with just full speed and it felt like he was doing that all day. I have a take. I have a take. Oh, by the way, AJ Brown's catch was awesome. Yeah. Awesome.
Starting point is 00:53:26 He's got, I mean, when he reaches arm out there like sticky fingers. Yeah. Like an eagle. Yeah. I have a take. Are you ready for this take? Yep. And now wait.
Starting point is 00:53:35 Yep. Before I say this take, I will admit there is a little bit of bias in this take. There's a tiny itsy-bitsy little bit of bias. Okay. Mm hmm. I think Leonard Fournette being drafted fourth in 2017 was a worse pick than Mr. Biscay. I actually agree with you. Hank just laughed at my face.
Starting point is 00:53:55 No, no, that is 100% faster. Hank, did you just laugh at my face? Hey, do you know who was still available at that point with the fourth overall pick? I'm sure Big Cat will tell you. Patrick, my home is just Sean Watson, you know who else was available if you wanted to go running back? Christian McCaffrey at eight. Who?
Starting point is 00:54:09 Yeah, but who was the Jaguars quarterback? What? They didn't need a. They didn't need a quarterback, but no, but Christian McCaffrey at eight. So and taking a running back with the fourth overall pick is crazy. And on top of all that, James Robinson, shout out, Rollbirds reached a thousand yards today. He is only one of three running backs to have a thousand yards this season. Dalvin Cook, Derek Henry, James Robinson, they cut Leonard Fournette this year and
Starting point is 00:54:35 James Robinson got a thousand yards on a very bad Jaguars. They also could have had Alvin Camara. I, yeah, I think that Leonard Fournette is it's never going to get talked about because obviously it's a quarterback driven league. Like we just said, the Mitsubishi pick will always go down because of who came after him. But in terms of just like if you go back to it and just the decision making in the moment, like it didn't make sense at the time, things get written. People still had Mitch ranked very high then like they did.
Starting point is 00:55:03 You can pretend they didn't, but they did. You want to say Ryan Pace made a mistake, not talking to Patrick Mahomes, Sean Watson, you will not hear any, you know, any, what am I, what's the word I'm going to complain? Complaint. You're not going to put up a fight. I'm not going to put up a fight on that. But I think Leonard Fournette was the worst pick that doesn't get talked about because Christian McCaffrey, Alvin Camara and it's the fourth pick with a running back.
Starting point is 00:55:28 And you cut him. And then the guy who comes in who's like a no name does really well on a bad Jaguar team. And guess what happened with Leonard Fournette today? Healthy scratch with the bucks. They literally are like, no, we don't want this guy anymore. You don't hear it that much because you're a Bears fan and it's so much fun to tell you and remind you about the, let's change.
Starting point is 00:55:48 Let's change the narrative. Most Jaguars, most Jaguars fans, they hate it at the time, they hate it at the time. They hate it now. Like it gets brought up to them all the time. That can be put on. Was that Tom Coughlin? He must have been. I think it's Coughlin being like, we want, we want an old school, hard nose running
Starting point is 00:56:03 back. I'm just saying he's probably saw that running its Auburn where he threw the guy off his shoulders. It was like, that's my guy. Let's start talking about 2017. The biggest mistake in the draft was Leonard Fournette drafted fourth to the Jaguars. Here's a take and you're probably also going to say for me that this is a little bit of a homer take.
Starting point is 00:56:22 It might be a little biased. I don't think the Jaguars should fire Doug Morone. No, I don't think so either. I think they should keep him around because he's a great guy. He's a great dude. He's just a great dude. He's an awesome guy and big cat they're getting a new general manager in. He's going to want to get the lay of the land for a while.
Starting point is 00:56:36 And if you really believe that Doug Morone is that bad of a head coach, then keep him around for another year, amass more picks, excuse me, assets, get more assets, more draft capital. And then if the GM decides like, I can't get along with this person, then you're welcome to kick him out. Right. And his sunglasses make him always look cool. Yes.
Starting point is 00:56:57 Doug Morone feeds off the fans. Yes. You need to have him in a packed house with people swimming in the pool and their blue jeans to properly evaluate the job that Doug Morone's doing. I agree. I'm just saying 2017, that's a bad pick by the Jaguars. Let's start talking about it more. Also John Ross going nine is really, really bad for the Bengals who definitely needed
Starting point is 00:57:19 a quarterback. John Ross is fast. Big cat. They picked him before. Let's just, you know, let's talk about it, folks. Let's just open up the books and let's talk about it. When was Al Davis's Ouija board going to be picking because they needed to get John Ross off the board before they got up?
Starting point is 00:57:33 Yes, they did. By the way, speaking of sunglasses, I think Doug Morone actually wears them, but PFT, I know the best sunglass company. Do you know it? Yeah. Top of your head. It's on the front of my head. It's Shady Race.
Starting point is 00:57:46 Fuck yeah. Do you have an ad? Yeah, we do. Oh, I thought you were just asking me. No, I was, I was asking and telling. Well, yeah, it's Shady Race. Yeah. Shady Race is the best.
Starting point is 00:57:54 The part of my take, grit sunglasses, our own model. And you can get those. I don't know if actually they might be sold out. They might have a different version of the grit sunglasses, but I know for a fact they have the grit goggles. We've got snow goggles. I saw you wearing those. Those looked awesome.
Starting point is 00:58:08 They look sweet. You feel like a moon man when you're rocking them. They're actually pretty cool because you can take out the glasses part, the reflective shield part of the goggles and change them in and out with different colors if you want to. We've taken on the sun on this podcast. Now it's time to take on the snow. The newest exclusive collaboration with our friends at Shady Race.
Starting point is 00:58:27 The part of my take, snow goggle bundle is created by me and Big Cat. It's packed with grit to take on the slopes. They've got this durable magnetic mask system. So it's strong grip. It's easily swappable for all lenses and straps. We worked hand in hand with the Shady Race team to make a badass combination of three different lenses for a variety of conditions. And you get four strips or four straps in there.
Starting point is 00:58:50 You get the standard black one. You get one that's got the part of my take logo on it. You've got another one that's like a tie-dye part of my take logo. And then you've got a barstool strap. They're sweet. They're awesome. And plus you get a premium hard case to hold it all featuring stool and stripes logo. So Humans vs. the Sun inspired them to team up with us to take on the sun hand in hand
Starting point is 00:59:11 together. Plus if you missed out on the launch this past summer Shady Race, oh they are releasing the remaining pairs of the part of my take limited edition Ventura Royals. They're dropping them. It's like a stock X. The drop happens now. Don't be the only person to not have them. They've got those custom accents on there.
Starting point is 00:59:26 They've got grit etched right onto the lens. They've got our icons on the side. It's Stella Big Cat's mustache, Hank's hat, and my shades on the side. They're sweet. They are very sweet. You're going to enjoy them. Christmas delivery might not be guaranteed. Check up on that.
Starting point is 00:59:41 I don't think that it is. But order now for your best shot to receive before Christmas. If they have any opportunity to get them to you, they will. Check them out. ShadyRays.com slash Barstool. That's ShadyRays.com slash Barstool. All right. Next up, Colts Raiders.
Starting point is 00:59:57 I actually wrote down in my notes before we started Paul Gunther's never going to get fired. The defensive coordinator of the Oakland or Las Vegas Raiders because he and John Gruden are best friends. Paul Gunther is such good friends with the Grudens that when he was moving on from the Bengals, so he was the defensive coordinator for the Bengals, 2018, it was literally like a bidding war between Jay and John Gruden. Who would hire Paul Gunther?
Starting point is 01:00:26 That's how much they love him. I think their wives are best friends. John Gruden was never going to fire him. Turns out he just fired him. I can't imagine a worse city to be fired in than Las Vegas. He just fired him. Paul Gunther. What do you do?
Starting point is 01:00:39 What do you do tonight? You sit at the roulette wheel just like crying? Yeah. Yeah. There's no somber place that you can go in that city. There's no park. You can go sit on a bench and feed the ducks and cry. You have to go somewhere with blasting lights and sounds where everyone's happy, having
Starting point is 01:00:56 a great time. Well, I think he actually is going to be okay because Jay Gruden probably texts him as like, hey, as soon as I get another head coaching job, you'll be on my staff because Paul Gunther is a perfect example of why anyone in the NFL, if you have a job, you have a job for life. So in the last six out of the last seven years, he's been a defensive coordinator. His team has finished in the last, in the back half of yards. The last three years, the Raiders have been the worst team in defensive efficiency.
Starting point is 01:01:29 The last three years, his teams finished 32nd, 24th, 28th in giving up points. And he kept his job for this long because he's a fun hang. He's best friends with John Gruden. So I'm shocked that John Gruden has actually fired him. But it happened because it needed to happen because the Raiders were so bad on defense today. They got like manhandled. If you get gashed by Phillip Rivers at this point, well, and I mean, that's a big, that's
Starting point is 01:01:57 a red flag. That's a little, that's a little post-it note on your resume right there. Credit to the Colts offensive line because they gave up no sacks and they averaged 6.8 yards per carry, which is significant. And yeah, I'm, I, the Raiders are kind of lost. Like they, all that could, I swear to God, I've never seen a team fall off so hard from a statement loss. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:22 They lost on prime time to the chiefs in a game where they were winning with a minute left and everyone's like, they went toe to toe with the chiefs. And then since then they lost by a billion of the Falcons needed Dr. Heat to dial it up to beat the winless jets and then just lost by a billion of the Colts that their season, they lifted the Lombardi trophy after they lost to the Raiders by like four points on prime time. Yeah. I mean, they, they did that when they beat the chiefs.
Starting point is 01:02:50 Right. You know what? It was the lapse that, that John Gruden did around the stadium. Right. It was the curse of the lapse. They showed off too soon. And ever since then it's been totally downhill. They need to elevate Deuce.
Starting point is 01:03:02 Deuce Gruden should be their defense coordinator at this point. Yes. Like what better friend can you get than your little people, youngest son that'll just come in and just kick the shit out of everybody on the team till they start making hits. But Gunther, fun story about Gunther, he wanted to fight me in Indy, which I respect. Yeah. I think he should have punched me, but we were in a bar was, it was a pretty hilarious time.
Starting point is 01:03:25 It was like right across the street from where everybody usually hangs out during the combine. And there's like a quieter bar that's across the street from it where we went to just kind of like get out of the mayhem that was, was it prime 57 that's that steakhouse. And so, um, I was hanging out with, uh, I'm going to name drop really badly right here. Do it. Jay Gruden, Vrable, Sean Peyton was there and Gunther was with him. And I was sitting at the bar and we were like, he was talking shit to me about which coach he would beat up.
Starting point is 01:03:54 He was like, I'd kick Vrable's ass. Like he, he's not old enough to have old man strength yet. He's still in that in between phase. And then Jay Gruden was like, who in this bar would you like to punch in the face the most? And he was like PFT and, and he was like, why? Cause he talks a lot of shit and I was like, that's fair. The moral of the story is I believe that he would, if he was the type of guy to have
Starting point is 01:04:15 actually punched me in my face, he'd still have a job. He had a better defense coordinator. That should have been my first indication that he's not about this life. If you're not going to punch me in the face, right? You're not going to be able to punch the chief's fucking offensive line in the face. You're not going to be able to inspire what's his name, Cleveland Farrell. It's true to go out there and hit somebody else. Like I, I have top 10 punchable face.
Starting point is 01:04:39 I know at this company, probably in the greater tri-state area. And the, and the best part about that story is I, maybe this is like the, the duality of this podcast, but maybe that night or the night before I also talked to him at the Barney gave me his phone number. Yeah. We want to fuck you. He was like, yeah. He was like, yo, I should come on.
Starting point is 01:04:56 I was like, yeah, give me your phone number. He was mad. I wouldn't fuck him. So he punched me in my face. No, um, I think he was saying it like as a joke at the time, because we're doing, doing a lot of alcohol together. Oh, you're doing alcohol. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:08 But the fact that he didn't punch me in my face, I knew right then I was like, not a football guy. Yes. Top table would, would assault me right. So, uh, the Raiders are done. We talked about this on Friday, but the Raiders are done. The Colts are back all the way back in it. This was the game that shifted all of the playoff, uh, you know, set up here.
Starting point is 01:05:26 Um, and the Colts, we also sold you T.Y. Hilton, Phil Rivers seemingly are on the same page now. That's becoming a deadly combo. Like T.Y. Hilton was lost at the beginning of the year. He is now found. He, I think he had two touchdowns. Uh, we also had Jonathan Taylor, shout out Jonathan Taylor, who's kind of been like, I feel like there's been times where he's been in, uh, Frank Reich's doghouse, but
Starting point is 01:05:53 he looks good and he had an awesome touchdown run. And then should we talk about Josh Jacobs and how mad fantasy owners must be? Very, very angry, uh, Adam Schefter tweeted out before the game, like Josh Jacobs put on his Instagram story that he's not starting. By the way, I put a lot of this blame on Adam Schefter for amplifying for signal, signal boosting that because Adam Schefter doesn't, he's not an Instagram story guy. He can't understand tone. So he basically passed that along as reported fact and it was like, well, it looks like
Starting point is 01:06:22 he was just trolling fantasy owners out there, which he was. Good job. Matthew Berry probably wants to have him killed. Probably going to hire a hit man and put out a contract on him. But um, yeah, I actually, I say well done to Josh Jacobs. That was as somebody who does not own Josh Jacobs on any of our, how many, uh, 25, 25 fancy teams. Yep.
Starting point is 01:06:43 Uh, I say well played. Uh, so Gruden gave a great Gruden quote afterwards. Someone asked them about this, this, uh, you know, Josh Jacobs saying it on his Instagram that he wasn't going to play Gruden said, I don't have social media. I'll answer any questions about the game, not the internet. So don't be bringing those internet questions around John Gruden. John, he might not have the internet even. No, he probably doesn't know.
Starting point is 01:07:06 He probably doesn't. But yeah, that it's it. That's it for the Raiders. Right. That's it. That's it. Yeah. This was a game.
Starting point is 01:07:14 Steve Kornacky is as name Steve Kornacky. Steve Kornacky busted a grape because this through all the percentages off kilter and he got like some solidified teams into the postseason. So his khakis turned like a darker stain of brown. Uh, and the Raiders are, they're done. There's nothing they can do at this point. Yeah. No, they're, they're, it is over.
Starting point is 01:07:31 So all the Raiders fans who told us that we didn't respect the Raiders enough, uh, turns out we were probably right to not respect them all that much. Have you also noticed that they put Jacobi Bresset in for knee plays? Like when they take a knee? Yes. Yeah. So it's like, if there's any danger at all that your quarterback might have to take more than three steps with a football, Jacobi Bresset is going to be, he's going to be,
Starting point is 01:07:53 he got to save. Yes. Uh, all right. Next up, Jets Seahawks. I have a very fun stat for you, PFT. The New York Jets. Okay. This is a stat from my own brain.
Starting point is 01:08:04 I just was like, Hey, this is kind of weird. I'm going to go look this up. So they were winning this game three to nothing. Yeah. So I went and looked it up. The New York Jets are 0 and 13 PFT. How many times do you think they have scored first? I know, I know it's been at least five games.
Starting point is 01:08:21 They have scored first in more than half of their games. They have scored first in seven of their 13 losses. Hyperdrive. Hyperdrive. Yeah. They have scored first. They have been outscored 210 to 95. That's the problem.
Starting point is 01:08:35 Including two times today, they were outscored 40 to nothing. And a few weeks ago, they were outscored 20 to nothing after scoring first. Fun fact, you probably don't know about hot starts when it comes to jets, like the actual airplane jets. Do you know what a hot start is? Yeah. No. Tell me.
Starting point is 01:08:58 They put it on a jet after it's just been turned off, and it doesn't work. The fuel boils, and the jet immediately, it's called vapor lock. So there we go. You can't even turn a jet on. They vapor lock themselves. The hot starts are vapor locking themselves. Shit. Okay.
Starting point is 01:09:12 The jets, you should know this. Yes. Yes. The jets have vapor locked themselves. I do miss Dr. Heat. Yeah. I miss him so much. Dr. Heat wouldn't have gotten blown out like this.
Starting point is 01:09:20 No. Well, no. He probably would have given up to 60. Yeah. But they would have gone down trying. Oh, you would have gone down trying. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:28 The jets have scored first, and imagine if you bet that, it's always got to be plus money. Mm-hmm. There's seven and six scoring first. Right. It's got to be huge plus money. Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 01:09:40 So now they play the Rams next week. So if I'm Adam Gase, I actually would not have them stay on the West Coast. I'd bring them back because you want to be around the office so that maybe you'll get fired. Right. They're not going to fire you when you're on the West Coast. It's like, that's a big pain. They ask we have to send another plane out there.
Starting point is 01:09:58 We have to pay for a separate flight back for them. Mm-hmm. But if you're around the office just reminding your owner what a big shithead you are all the time. Yeah, just stay out there. Yeah. Just stay out there. Just stay out there.
Starting point is 01:10:10 Yeah. But stay out there if you don't want to get fired. Right. I feel like Adam Gase probably... I don't think he's going to get fired. He can't get fired. They want... They're torturing him.
Starting point is 01:10:18 He wouldn't mind being fired. He's being waterboarded with losses. Yes. It's exceptional. They all hate him, and they're like, the only thing that we can do to really stick it to him is make him keep coaching the Jets. So they've got the Browns and the Patriots. Who else are they playing?
Starting point is 01:10:32 Who, the Jets? Yeah, the Jets. Yes. The Rams, Browns and Patriots. They'll go on 16. Well, week 17, is there any way that Belichick would lose intentionally? No. He hates the Jets.
Starting point is 01:10:45 He hates the Jets. Right? What if you worked out some sort of backyard deal where it was like, how do we get Sam Darnley? If the Jaguars possibly have the tiebreaker, I don't know how that would work, because the Jaguars beat the Colts week one. So yeah, if Belichick could somehow keep Trevor Lawrence from going to the Jets, he would definitely try to do it then.
Starting point is 01:11:06 Absolutely. If he could keep them... Because that would be hating the Jets even more by fucking them over them. Strength of schedule is tiebreaker. And who has it? I guess it would depend on how things progress with the other teams. Okay, so the Patriots need to win. They need to win two games.
Starting point is 01:11:22 I'm going to guess that the Jets would have strength of schedule because they played the NFC West, and the Jags played the NFC North. So that would probably be there, the tiebreaker. So Belichick might, yeah. He might do it. Yeah. I would absolutely see Belichick doing that to keep Sam, or to keep Trevor Lawrence in the middle of the division.
Starting point is 01:11:40 That would be incredible. Oh my God. And then he could tell Sam Darnley like, hey, when you become a free agent, come to New England. Right. And in turn, I won't have the 0 and 16 label hanging over you. Right. So yeah, so the Jets, Geno Smith got in.
Starting point is 01:11:54 That was awesome. Yep. Great to see Geno Smith. I still believe in Geno Smith. I don't know why, but I just do. Because that West Virginia offense was fun as shit. Yeah. And he like, yeah, I just, I think I read an article whenever he was coming out being like
Starting point is 01:12:07 the perfect quarterback. You can find that for pretty much any quarterback that's ever been drafted in the first round. J.P. Lossman had a whole documentary. Yeah. Someone wrote something saying like, the perfect quarterback now exists, Geno Smith. Yeah. Because it was his accuracy.
Starting point is 01:12:20 It was like, this guy is 80% accurate. In that offense at West Virginia, they don't ever miss. They don't teach you how to do anything. You don't have to go to class. It actually sounds like kickass. Look up his accuracy, his completion in college. But yeah, coming out, I was befuddled too, big cat, when he fell to the second day. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:38 What the fuck? Geno Smith, dude. All these people are idiots for not drafting. He's incredible. Fortunately, the Jets drafted him. And then he's so good. Geno Smith at West Virginia, 67.4%. Okay.
Starting point is 01:12:47 So maybe not as high as I thought. Yeah. I think it's senior year. Yeah. Well, senior year, 71%. Okay. There we go. Higher.
Starting point is 01:12:55 He don't miss. Yeah. Geno Smith, don't miss. Maybe if he was better, he probably wouldn't have stayed until his senior year. Also, entering this week, the Jets strength of schedule was 60% and the Jax was 55%. So that's a pretty big gap with only three weeks left. Yeah. So I would guess that would mean the Jets would have the tiebreaker.
Starting point is 01:13:10 Yeah. Well, yeah. The Jets also, they play, they play some tough opponents. Right. You got the Rams and the Browns. Yeah. I just looked it up because I was trying to find the article I read and I looked up Geno Smith, perfect quarterback.
Starting point is 01:13:23 And then I found this stat. Geno Smith is the only quarterback in NFL history to have a 0.0 passer rating and a perfect pass rating in the same season while starting in both games. It's amazing. That's incredible. Also, people don't talk about the fact. Talk about low floor, high ceiling. Remember when he got his job broken?
Starting point is 01:13:39 Yes. By like a special team? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 01:13:47 Over $100 a plane ticket. What? He punched him in the face. Oh, that's right. That's right. He didn't refund him. No, was it Quincy Inua? No.
Starting point is 01:13:56 No. Damn. No, it was not a white. It was like a special team or seventh round pick. Player who punched Geno Smith. Yeah. He went to the Browns after, I think. That guy should be, yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:04 I think he did. That guy should be a Hall of Famer for the Jets. NM Kapole. NM. Yeah. I got to find the pronunciation. Get the pronunciation, will you? Jets players claim Geno Smith deserve to get punched.
Starting point is 01:14:16 Yeah. Geno Smith. Oh, man. I remember when that story broke. NM Polly. Yeah. When that story broke, I was in Bristol on the set of First Take. And they...
Starting point is 01:14:28 Like this is perfect. The production assistants came in right before they started the show to tell them the news and then Skip and Stephen A had to delay the start of taping so that they could review the information. And then of course, like Stephen A. Smith was like, he deserved it. Yes. Yes, he absolutely deserved it. That was a take.
Starting point is 01:14:45 I see. Absolutely deserved it. All right. So, yeah. The Seahawks got right. The Jets. Hyperdrive. Once again.
Starting point is 01:14:53 Once again. Seven games of their 13 losses they have scored first and they've been outscored 210 to 95 since. Unbelievable. All right. Packers Lions. This is... These statements are about to say is like, if I could, I would just jump in front of a
Starting point is 01:15:09 moving bus right after I say it. Here we go. The Packers. The NSC North. The Packers will most likely get the one seed. Aaron Rodgers takes a stranglehold on the MVP. And then, boom, I jump in front of a bus and die and I don't have to think about any of this stuff.
Starting point is 01:15:27 However, here's a good spin zone. They're almost like a little bit too perfect on offense, aren't they? There's got to be something going on. Because they've got a running game and they've got what seems to be a good relationship between the head coach and Aaron Rodgers. All that stuff. It's too... And they've got a fucking awesome wide receiver.
Starting point is 01:15:46 It's too perfect, big cat. I'm just... Everyone has advice. Listen, I still think they're soft. I still think they can be had. But with the one seed, it changes everything. Because if they only have to win two games in Lambo, I'm nervous. I'm officially nervous.
Starting point is 01:16:05 I'm admitting it. I'm bearing my soul. I'm officially nervous. Like the idea of a Packers chief Super Bowl and it being a shootout. It's going to be the greatest Super Bowl ever. Super Bowl 1, right? Yeah. When the Super Bowl 1.
Starting point is 01:16:21 Yeah, there'd be a lot of... A lot of players. Oh, the greatest Super Bowl ever. And then he wins. And then I will jump in front of a bus. Then I will be bus... You drive the bus. I'll hop in front.
Starting point is 01:16:32 Just put me in a coma. I don't care. Life will have no meaning. I'll be the only person in the world who'll be like 2021 worst year ever. It'll be very funny though if they had that matchup of the Super Bowl and no reporters were allowed to go to it and write stories about how it's the rematch of Super Bowl 1. And then tell you what, put Bruce Springsteen performing at halftime too. And none of the reporters can be down there to watch it.
Starting point is 01:16:58 That would be great. The game that all the media missed. Fuck, man. I can't have this PFT. I can't. Okay. What did I do? I don't have advice.
Starting point is 01:17:08 They're soft. They cheat on hard counts. They're soft. You know what? The Lions. The Lions. You know how Aaron gets when he's very close with people? Lions are an interim head coach.
Starting point is 01:17:17 Stafford got hurt. Chase Daniel played. And they still were in this game. And the Lions stink at home. And the Lions stink at home. Think about that. This actually didn't even count as a win. Didn't even count as a win.
Starting point is 01:17:28 Back to back weeks. I'm taking away their win. You give up the run and the win. Yikes. Yeah. That's embarrassing. I just did. And not a fan, but as an owner, as a businessman, yeah, we got to take some looks in the mirror
Starting point is 01:17:40 about that. Although, I could still see the Giants just because of the history. If the Giants make the playoffs, I could see the Giants beating the Packers and Lambo. Fuck, man. Fuck, fuck, fuck. All right. That's all I had for this game. Okay.
Starting point is 01:17:55 I literally wrote it down. I want to hop in front of a bus. Packers, clinch, NSC North, probably by Rodgers MVP. Fuck. Is there any chance at all the Bucks could do it? No. Brady versus Rodgers in Lambo. But then Drew Brees.
Starting point is 01:18:10 The running defenses is actually both of those teams have excellent running defenses, dude. The Saints, but Drew Brees in like 10 degree weather with his broken shoulder and 17 broken ribs. He's going to have a heavy flatjacket on them. He actually drew Brees in Lambo. I'm thinking about it right now, going to play the Packers. He will be, what's the guy from Game of Thrones? The reek.
Starting point is 01:18:34 No, no, no. The Dark Knight. Mountain. No. The fucking glass guy. The blue guy. The Night King. The Night King.
Starting point is 01:18:43 The Night King. Yeah. And he gets stabbed by Aria. Sorry, spoiler. And he just shatters. That's going to be Drew Brees. He's just going to shatter like glass. Okay.
Starting point is 01:18:52 When he gets that cold, he's going to, he'll get hit and he will just shatter into a million pieces and the series will be over. I don't know. I don't. No, I don't think so. I think that it seemed with a really good rushing defense, can go up there and play Manball against the, against the Packers. I'm worried.
Starting point is 01:19:07 I'm very, very worried. Manball. That's just a kick-ass name for a sport. I'm worried. All right. Speaking of the Saints, they lost to the Eagles and we found out Taysum Hills probably not that dude. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:20 If I were to put on my Colin Coward hat, which, does he wear a hat? Backwards. Forwards. My forwards. Backwards. Fake soup lover. Colin Coward. Colin Coward is a fake soup lover.
Starting point is 01:19:33 I guarantee you every fucking time Colin Coward eats a bowl of soup he posts about on social media. Did you see three minutes ago? This is not a man that eats soup offline. He eats soup for the cloud. I can tell it. That's, that's not a guy that. I warned you, Steeler Nation.
Starting point is 01:19:49 This guy. He eats soup like fuck, fuck his soup eating habits. I dispute his soup credentials. I, I have something that I never thought I would say, but Colin Coward's Twitter game where he's like tweeting like, Hey, had a vodka and soda tonight. Hey, just pounded two, two bowls of tomato bisque. Like I'm kind of starting to like it because it's so bad. Like he's so bad at Twitter where he's like, look at all man over here, two bowls of tomato
Starting point is 01:20:18 bisque. No big deal at an airport. And by the way, Colin, not trying to call you out, but those are pussy ass bowls. Okay. Those weren't even bowls. Yeah. It was one bowl. It was a joke.
Starting point is 01:20:31 I, it was a bowl. Yeah. And he said, I ate two bowls of soup. Where's the second bowl? Well, not only that, but the bowl. It was small. It was a small bowl. It was a small bowl.
Starting point is 01:20:40 You know what? It was a tiny ass bowl. It was not even a bowl. That's a cup. Yeah. If you're, if you're a real broth head like me, you know, soup comes in two forms, cup and bowl. That is the cup size.
Starting point is 01:20:50 A bowl size is actually, it's usually a lot deeper than that. You would, you would think a bowl would mean that it's wide, but no, no, no, when you buy soup to go, they serve it to you in almost a thermos. Yeah. Soup. That's what I, that's a pussy ass bowl. You don't even burn. Big cat.
Starting point is 01:21:07 What did I, what did I have? Big cat, what I have for dinner tonight. Call that a bowl. What did I have for dinner tonight? What did you have for dinner tonight? Chinese? Are you so soup? Oh, soup.
Starting point is 01:21:15 I had a bowl, a bowl of soup and it came in a fucking third. You had a fucking gallon of it. Guess what I didn't do. I didn't tweet out a picture of it. Yeah. But that's kind of where he's got you because like that's, it's so bad. No. It's so bad.
Starting point is 01:21:24 Where he was like, it was like a vodka soda or something. He's like, double glass tonight. Oh, sick. Oh, he went out for drinks with Rosillo. Having cocktails with Rosillo don't come and approach us. If you see us, just ask to take a picture and bounce out. Yeah. Very cool.
Starting point is 01:21:40 Obviously he was joking. Like he was, he was trying to be a cool guy by joking. But he wanted people. But that's exactly what. And then he had that one where he was on vacation and it was like he, his wife and another couple in, in a hot tub and it was just like, so are you guys all fucking because that's all we thought about. Yes.
Starting point is 01:21:57 Like you don't take a picture on vacation with another couple being like the good life in this hot tub. Like, okay. So who's sucking and who's fucking here? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:08 Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's just, I actually will back up Colin there. Golf Twitter is the horniest Twitter in the world because it's a bunch of dudes, old dudes who golf all the time, who watch golf all day, who probably don't know what internet porn is. And then they see the hot woman at the end of 18 holes and they're like, oh my God. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:29 Could you imagine like having sex with that? It's, it's by far the horniest Twitter. That and then when they, when they're out on the course and the car girl comes by, they're like, oh my God, I think she liked it. There's an extra 10. She really liked it. You know what I mean? Half the time when there's like a corporate malfeasance, it's always at a golf outing.
Starting point is 01:22:49 What are you going to say? I think AT&T Twitter is way hornier. AT&T? The commercials? Oh, AT&T Twitter? Yeah. Yeah. They love Lilly.
Starting point is 01:22:59 On the ads. They call them Twitter ads. They're just people going crazy. Yeah. They, they cross the line. They keep talking about her milkers. All right. Well, either way, Coward, we're on to your Twitter game.
Starting point is 01:23:09 We'll have to clean it up when you, when you announce you're working with us in a week. But as I was saying about before we got sidetracked, actually, I'm glad we had that conversation. Yeah. No, I am too. We needed to get that off our chest. Oh, we need to establish it because like he's going to come in here and think he fucking owns a show. Right.
Starting point is 01:23:25 We'll be like, bro, we have to eat soup on the reg. Dude, I'm going to, I'm going to pour soup on his head. Yeah. And then when he cries about it, I'm going to be like, bro, I thought you liked soup. Yeah. But to go back to my point was Colin Coward's analogy about taste and hell would be like a Swiss army knife is great when it comes to opening a beer or when it comes to like, you know, using the scissors to trim your nails.
Starting point is 01:23:45 Yeah. You need to, yeah, you need to cut your nails. You need to maybe cut your, you need a new hole in your belt. You need to start a fire. You need to, you need to fix something with your shoes, maybe screw something in. It's great. Yeah. You need to repair one of your daughter's shoes so that she can sell them online to
Starting point is 01:24:02 a guy for $5,000. It's great. But you can't build a house with a Swiss army knife, big cat, Dan, you can't build a house. Yeah. I mean, taste and hell is, uh, is like a buffet. You go to a buffet. There's something for everyone.
Starting point is 01:24:18 You know, a little pizza, a little Chinese, you have some sushi, but are you really loving a buffet? Don't you just want to go out and get a nice steak or a couple of bowls of soup at the, at the airport chilies? That's what a real meal is. That's Drew Brees, a buffet. That's taste and hell. You go out.
Starting point is 01:24:38 You think it's great. You're leaving unsatisfied. You know what taste and hill is, Daniel, taste and hill is, uh, when you go on vacation with your two best friends, husband, wife, you get into the hot tub, you got your wife right there. She's Drew Brees. Yeah. Then you got the girl and the guy and you're thinking, well, one of these is James Winston,
Starting point is 01:24:56 the other says, this one's going to fuck me over as much as I fuck him. This one, I can, I can party with this one for a week in the greeny. I can, I can party with, I'm not going to party with my wife. I'm going to party with this guy's wife. It's always, it's always, but you don't want to take her home. It's always like the most masculine, like taste and hill is, is the sports car you buy after your divorce and, and I think it's great. And you know, it's, it's everyone's turning their head and it's new and people say, whoa,
Starting point is 01:25:27 that's crazy. It can pass. It can run. But guess what? Sometimes you just want a four door sedan, something comfortable, point A to point B. That's true breeze. Point C is a playoffs and all the axles are broken. Point D is the only one to you want the Lombardi trophy.
Starting point is 01:25:45 You can't fit a trophy into a convertible dam. All right. Joey Molinares, much better at that. Oh yeah. And then he toss in, is there. Yeah. Tune in, uh, Barsal Radio Serious 85 coming soon. Uh, all right.
Starting point is 01:25:59 So Jalen Hurts was good. He had 160 yards rushing 167 passing. Uh, like that, Billy, credit to you, but Billy's now confused. He's like, wait, do we really are going to, uh, Billy, credit to you. You called it last week. Jalen Hurts adds like an energy to the league played with a totally different energy today. It was very apparent, like complimentary football, the defense looked back alive. I do think that if you're Carson Wentz, you're probably a little pissed because they gave
Starting point is 01:26:32 the ball to Miles Sanders a good amount and they also had a bunch of run plays of Jalen Hurts. You're like, wait, this was a balanced offense. What the fuck, Doug? Well, yeah. Yeah. You probably would be. I've got to take though about why sometimes when backup quarterbacks come in, the whole
Starting point is 01:26:46 team seems to play a little bit harder. I think offensive linemen like having a backup quarterback that could take the starting job because then you get two sets of gifts around Christmas time. Yeah. You get the starter and then you get the guy who's to play him because if you're Jalen Hurts right now, you rack up a couple of wins, then all of a sudden like you find yourself, you have to get them a gift. You got to get them yeti coolers.
Starting point is 01:27:07 Yup. I think that's just the traditional gift now. Yes. It's just like a brand new cooler. Yes. And then Carson Wentz, he still has to buy those because he's the dude that's got paid. Yeah. So you're going to be in double gift season pretty soon.
Starting point is 01:27:18 For sure. But yeah, Jalen Wentz or Jalen Hurts, he looks like when he runs, he runs like he's going somewhere. Carson Wentz, when he runs, he runs like he's trying to get away from somewhere. Yes. Like a little scared. Yes. And Jalen Hurts.
Starting point is 01:27:35 Wentz is scared of where he's going. Jalen Hurts has like purpose when he knows where he, yeah, the road, the road is welcome to Jalen. He knows where he's been. Yeah. That's a Matthew McConaughey commercial. Yeah. That's pretty much the difference.
Starting point is 01:27:49 Yeah. But the Saints, that's a bad loss because now they're, I think that the Packers pretty much have this set up like I'm not trying to jinx them, but I am. But the Packers finish the season with the Panthers, Titans and Bears. I mean, I guess the Titans are going to be a tough one for them, but they have the tie breaker over the Saints. So now the Saints have to win out. The Saints have to play the Chiefs next week.
Starting point is 01:28:17 Drew Brees is supposed to be back. I would say the Packers are on the inside track here, and that's a really bad loss for the Saints. Nine point favorites. Yeah. Because especially with Drew Brees, like playing three games versus playing two games is a big fucking difference when we're talking about going to the Super Bowl. Wasn't this the game that Sean Payton game planned out in advance, even though he lost
Starting point is 01:28:40 in the playoffs? Yes. It was when he lost to the Vikings, right? Yeah. Yeah. So he looked ahead and he was like, I'm going to game plan for the Eagles like I was going to play against them just because I don't know what else to do. He used that game plan.
Starting point is 01:28:52 Yes. Yes. The Eagles, I think it was a shifter tweet, but it was like the Eagles intend to keep Carson Wentz. Like, well, you don't have a choice. Yeah. Well, that'd be like, I'm intending to keep my son. They could.
Starting point is 01:29:07 Well, yeah, you're, I mean, I love my son, but you are stuck with Carson Wentz. Yeah. How much do you pay your son? 140 million. Oh, shit. Yeah. You're fucked. I inked him up.
Starting point is 01:29:18 Hasn't even hit yet. Yeah. You're going to be in cap hell in two years. It's just so funny to be like, oh yeah, they intend to keep him like, yeah, we know because you can't do anything else. Why don't they pull like what the Texans did with the Browns? They have to eat so much money. Can't you just say like, we'll pay two thirds of his contract.
Starting point is 01:29:35 Just please take him. They'd have to eat so much money. Free to a good home. One Carson Wentz. Take him on the bears. All right. Next up, Falcons Chargers. Oh my God.
Starting point is 01:29:43 Do these two teams deserve each other? All that needs to be said about this game is the fourth quarter. It's 1717. The Falcons are first in 10 at the Chargers 19 with four minutes left. Matt Ryan throws an interception two plays later. The Chargers then take the ball. They drive a little bit. They're at midfield with a minute left.
Starting point is 01:30:07 The Chargers throw an interception two plays later. Then Matt Ryan gets the ball back. He's first in 10 at the Chargers 45. He throws an interception and the Chargers finally put us all out of our, you know, just having to sit there and watch this and they kick a field goal win. But the fact that they traded interceptions three times in the last four minutes is the most Chargers and Falcons ending possible. It was like watching an awesome jam band go back and forth just trading solos with each
Starting point is 01:30:33 other. They were the Spider-Man. And it felt, yeah, it felt like we were on drugs watching it. It was sweet. I hope they should, they should engineer these matchups instead of playing the, the Bucks twice. The Falcons should play the Chargers. They're the perfect compromise.
Starting point is 01:30:46 Twice every year. Yes. Interconference, intra, inter, outer, out, there should be one externally conferenced rivalry that every team gets each year where you play your counterpart, the team that's most like you on the other side twice. And I mean, I would watch this game, it was fun to watch because of how fucked up everything was. Anthony Lynn, they, they ran the ball with no timeouts left at what, the 10 yard line.
Starting point is 01:31:13 And then they didn't know how to get there at the end of the first half. They didn't know how to get their offense off the field or whether their kicking team should go on the field. And Anthony Lynn, it should be noted after last week's debacle, took over more responsibility about special teams and then they, they snapped the ball when they had like 15 guys on the field. And I think two guys on the line of scrimmage, just in case the rest didn't notice. But PFT afterwards, he was asked about it and he said, you can't run the ball in that
Starting point is 01:31:41 situation. Yep. So at least he knows he's an idiot. I like that though that he's just like, you can't do it. Like, well, Anthony Lynn, you're the head, can't do it. Just can't run the ball in that situation. You're the head coach. You did that two weeks ago against the bills.
Starting point is 01:31:56 When you ran the ball in the same exact situation at the end of the game. It's crazy. He's a panic guy. Yeah. He's an ultimate panic guy. They're panic coaches. He's a panic coach. Like, like we said, I think somebody taught him numbers and that's now what he's always
Starting point is 01:32:09 thinking about is what the smartest play by the book is to do. Right. When he's a football guy and he should just be like, we're going to go out here and panic, execute and not worry about what the math says. It's insane. It's insane. He's an insane, insane person. They need to hire somebody next year as their head coach, who is going to have the ability
Starting point is 01:32:26 to make Herbert forget everything that he's learned right over the last year. Hire a pothead, hire Chris Long, anyone, just smoke him out for six months, listen to the dark side of the moon, lose it all, enjoy just men and black yourself and erase your memory and forget everything that you've been taught because years from now, we're going to eventually we'll get far enough in the future. Well, we're going to be able to look back and be like Anthony Lin was so far ahead of his time. Like the Zodiac killer, we've cracked his code and figured out what he was trying to
Starting point is 01:32:55 do with this. Yes. But for now, he is, he has a bird inside of his head. Yeah, he does. It's a sick bird. Yes. Um, we also had an awesome Wildcat throw, which we just got throughout there because we always make fun of it.
Starting point is 01:33:08 Was it Russell Gage? Yeah. Through an awesome touchdown. Is he like two for two this year? It was an awesome touchdown and it was a Wildcat throw. So we got to throw it out there because we do joke all the time about how Wildcat is going to be a runner or pass. Oh, it's going to be a run again.
Starting point is 01:33:22 Also the chargers chargers uniforms were amazing. Yeah, they were as usual. Yeah, they were. All right. Last, but certainly not least the Washington football team and the San Francisco 49ers playing in Arizona. This game, if you look at the stats, the Niners had 344 yards to Washington football teams, 93 yards.
Starting point is 01:33:42 So the they had 21 first downs to 12 and they have five minutes more possession, but the Washington football team for as bad as their offense looked, their defense kicked the fuck out of the Niners. Yeah. Football teams playing team football. They kicked the. That's the football team. Way big cat.
Starting point is 01:34:00 They fucking killed. Listen, their offense sucks. It sucks. Sucks. Sucks. They're bad offensively, really bad, like noteworthy bad on offense and without Antonio Gibson, they're even worse with Antonio Gibson. The team does look a little bit different, but he's a really good player and not having
Starting point is 01:34:17 him obviously hurts and but it doesn't matter if your defense can score two touchdowns and then get two more turnovers to set your team up with a short field and by short, I mean like makeable field goal from where you get the ball on defense, right? Then the Washington football team defense scored 21 points today, I believe they were all over the field. Chase Young, obviously defensive rookie of the year. They were, I mean, they kicked the shit out of the Niners and they took sole possession of first place in the NFC beast.
Starting point is 01:34:54 Controller destiny. That's the next week against Seahawks is a huge, huge game. How are the the Eagles aren't like Eagles are mathematically involved. Still involved. They're involved in the conversation. They're not though. They're like two games out, right? No, no, no.
Starting point is 01:35:09 Oh, and they play you guys play week 17, right? So they're definitely in. I think it's like 70% chance the football team makes the football playoffs and then the rest is split between the Giants and the Eagles. I've got to take the Cardinals and the Cowboys the Eagles have next two weeks. So I mean, that would be wouldn't that be great for the Washington football team and the Eagles to play for the division in week 17 while the Giants like who knows what's going to happen.
Starting point is 01:35:37 And then you get a tie out of it. Yeah, that would be incredible. But yeah, the team defense is awesome. Montez sweat has the coolest name. I think in the NFL. Chase Young, it looks like he's just driving a little tiny car that he's crashing into people when he tackles them. Yep.
Starting point is 01:35:53 It's like very violent, but cool. When he was returning that touch and I did think back to Sean Taylor back in 2005, 2006, when he had those two returns for touchdowns to send to the playoffs looked very similar to those. The problem is Alex Smith is injured. Well, he's hurt. Yeah. Possibly injured.
Starting point is 01:36:11 He's hurt. The X-rays came back negative. But I don't know how you interpret like you. There are probably two people in the United States that can interpret in Alex Jones right leg X-ray. Alex Smith or Alex Smith. Sorry, Alex Jones. It's reviewed documents.
Starting point is 01:36:24 His leg. Don't tread on me. His legs fucked up. But yeah, I don't I don't know what you'd look at. It's like, well, this bone, you tested negative for having it. You don't have bones, sir. Sir. Good news.
Starting point is 01:36:36 The X-rays negative. You don't have a shin. I'm looking at it right now, PFT, and I now see the future. So the Washington football team is going to lose to Seahawks and beat the Panthers. The Philadelphia Eagles are going to somehow win the next two games. Who do they play? They play the Cardinals and the Cowboys. The you know how this has to go, though.
Starting point is 01:36:57 We made fun of it at the time, but the Eagles will finish seven, eight and one and the Washington football team will finish seven and nine. No. Wouldn't that be incredible if Doug Peterson, the mastermind playing for a tie back in whatever week it was? No. It wouldn't just sides the division. No, that would not be fun at all.
Starting point is 01:37:18 Jesus Christ. That would be incredible. I think, you know what? I kind of am mad at the Washington football team for winning today because I'll never apologize for it. Well, no, I know. But imagine if all these all four teams with one game each other, listen, it's way funnier if if the winner of the NFC beast gets in with a losing record.
Starting point is 01:37:35 That's what I'm really hoping. Yeah. But I what if what if the football team rested their starters next week against it against it on it? And yeah, that's going to be because you don't have Alex Smith. What are you going to do? Bad things happen when the football team plays against the Seahawks. You should just punt in round.
Starting point is 01:37:55 Yes. Yes. It happens. It's bad. You should just punt. Like they've knocked us out of the playoffs twice in the last 15 years. They the RG three games you just happened to just punt, just get punt on every single round.
Starting point is 01:38:07 Wildcat to Tressway. Punt. The entire time. Punt. Get rid of the ball. Punt. If you rest your starters, you take the loss. You get healthier.
Starting point is 01:38:15 Maybe Antonio Gibson's turf toe is good to go the following week. And then you beat the Panthers, then maybe you beat the Eagles, then maybe you're going on a little run. You make some noise. You got a home game. Yeah. You got a home game in the playoffs. Yep.
Starting point is 01:38:29 And next thing you know, you're up in Lambo. Yeah. That's true. Kicking the shit out of Aaron Rodgers. Those soft ass packers. All right. I do. I do like how in Arizona now they've switched the midfield logo.
Starting point is 01:38:41 So we have the shield there. We've got the NFL shield is at the 50 yard line. Yes. Because it's being shared by two teams. You've got that in New York. And then I think you still probably have that in Carolina, right? Mm hmm. Or did I change it?
Starting point is 01:38:54 Yeah. Yeah. It might be spitting on Mr. Richardson statue. You need the logo. All right. What's due. We're going to do some college football talk in a minute here. Quick word from our friends from draft top draft top sucks.
Starting point is 01:39:08 I hate this thing. It completely changed the way I drink from cans. I don't know why they wrote that, but I caught my eye. It caught my eye. I actually love draft top. So if you don't know what draft top is, it basically pops the top of a can off. You can drink it a lot easier if you're drinking beers or trying to yug some beers. You pop the top off and you can drink it super, super easy Billy.
Starting point is 01:39:29 You love it. Great for spitters. Great for spitters. The top is great. Just popping the tab is like choosing to drink from a sippy cup draft top. Honestly, I thought the whole thing was bullshit when I first tried it, but I loved it. I don't think that taking the whole top off the can would make that much of a difference, but they gave me a tool.
Starting point is 01:39:47 I tried it and my mind was absolutely blown. There was the old me, my life before draft top and now there's only the new me, my life after draft top. It sounds dumb. Taking the tops off your cans might sound dumb, but it completely changed your perspective for every single goddamn can. Also, if you don't have cups for beer pong, you can turn the cans directly into cups. That's how you're genius.
Starting point is 01:40:10 Yeah, no. You remember when Billy was saying that he wasn't a Chad? Yeah. Remember when? Oh, sorry. I'm trying to. No, that's great. No, no, that actually is great.
Starting point is 01:40:19 But you can like, so say you get a Corona can or you get some other beer in a can, you can throw some fruit in there. Draft top is the best or a little lime in your Bud Light. It's great. What are you gonna say? I was gonna say one other thing that you can do with that can is you can make the Jim Tomsula cocktail, which is like a PBR or another light beer. And then you add some salt into it and some hot sauce.
Starting point is 01:40:39 And that's that's what he used to drink growing up. Also Boilermakers. Yeah. Just drop the shot. Drop a shot of vodka into your beer. That will get you going. Real going. Used to drink those in college.
Starting point is 01:40:50 Those were delicious. Not really delicious, but you get the point. Draft top is delicious. Pop that top off. I'm telling you, it sounds dumb, but it is awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Super easy to use.
Starting point is 01:41:03 And you also just impress everyone because they'll be like, Hey, you want me to take that top off? And then the girls will be like, Whoa, should I take my? Oh, no. I was talking about the draft top. Girls take their tops off. It's also easier to drink. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 01:41:15 Yeah. The milkers. Yeah. You can just kind of little disambiguation right there for you folks. Go check them out. Draft top, draft top, draft top, draft top. We love draft top. Go check it out.
Starting point is 01:41:27 Seriously. You will not be disappointed. Okay. College football. And then we'll do some football guy, some who's back and then we'll send everyone on their way, Florida, the shoe game. That was such an awesome college football game between the swamp, the fog, like LSU being bad, but fighting, Florida sitting Kyle Pitts, which like I still, the ellipses that he put
Starting point is 01:41:52 out, that was, that feels like something's cooking in, in Gainesville, everything in front of him of Florida and all time college football loss. Like college football losses, they just seem to hurt way more because they just, everything in front of you and then one loss can just destroy your entire season and everything the Florida had built this year, wiped away and all the bad stuff that LSU had wiped away. Yeah. If you were to actually over, what do you mean? No, it was a tie game.
Starting point is 01:42:20 So if you didn't watch, it was a tie game, LSU or Florida's driving, uh, no, sorry, LSU is, they're like midfield. It's third down, Florida makes the stop. So LSU is going to have to punt. It's a tie game with like two minutes left. There's enough time left that they, they wouldn't necessarily have gone for it. Right. Florida, Florida player picks up the LSU guys shoe that had fallen off and throws it 20
Starting point is 01:42:43 feet yards down the field and they throw flag, multiple flags, basically giving LSU a first down. And then LSU gets a couple more yards, uh, it was Kade York bombs, a fucking kick in the fog, like 50 plus, absolutely perfect. No, it wasn't cold. I know, but, but it, uh, bombs it and Florida actually came back and almost had a chance to win it. But the shoe game, literally that shoe changed Florida's season.
Starting point is 01:43:13 They were going to maybe play for the SCC, they're going to, they're still going to play with the SCC championship, but they were going to maybe play for a spot in the college football playoff. Now it's pretty tough all because he threw a shoe. And I also felt really old when I said who threw a shoe and no one was like, oh, that's from us. I mean, that was the whole timeline. Right.
Starting point is 01:43:29 I know, but I feel like a lot of people didn't get that cause it's a long time ago. Yeah. There was that. And then there was the George Bush getting hit by the shoe and that dude that threw the shoe found out about this play and like quote tweeted it today and was like, oh my God, look at this guy. Yeah. I mean, George Bush's follower was impressed by this and Dan Mullin to Salty, his credit
Starting point is 01:43:49 to his credit. This is an awesome, awesome spend on and I find myself agreeing with it. He said that Marco Wilson didn't have an intent to taunt throwing the shoe. I think it should be legal to throw a shoe. I agree. Why can't you throw a shoe? I actually agree with him. Would somebody explain that to me?
Starting point is 01:44:06 First of all, you're right. It was not a taunting. No, it was excitement. It was excitement. And it was also like there's a shoe here. I hope somebody doesn't trip on it. Yeah. Better throw it that way.
Starting point is 01:44:15 That was a big tackle. Excitement. Yeah, you should. You should be allowed to throw your opponent's shoes. I agree. If they're already off, you should not be allowed to remove the shoe. You shouldn't be allowed to untie the shoe and take it off. No, I take it back.
Starting point is 01:44:27 You should be allowed to remove the shoe. You shouldn't be allowed to untie it and then remove it. Right. If you're if you're strong enough that you take it off in the course of a tackle intentionally, you should be allowed to do that. And then you should be allowed to throw the shoe as far as you want. It makes no sense that you're not allowed to throw a shoe and Salty, Salty Dan Mullin. He's, he's top of the list for Salty head coaches.
Starting point is 01:44:46 It's like him and Scott Frost are having the saltiest seasons because he's had a ton of times like where he's, he was complaining about Texas A&M having a bunch of fans and how he wanted to pack the swamp. But Dan Mullin being like, well, it's because we play more games and everyone else is a coward. So I agree with it in a weird way that like, yes, of course, if you play 10 games, there's more, there's more of a chance that you're going to lose a game. What happened at the start of their season?
Starting point is 01:45:13 Right. That's the part that I don't know if Florida fans are just forgetting about that. But if, so the argument is Ohio State's five and Oh, if they had to play a 10 game schedule, they would eventually have a freaky game like that last night, uh, where they would lose. Okay. But Florida lost to Texas A&M in their third game, lost to LSU in their last game. No matter how you break up their five game schedule, actually, no, you know what? If they only played games four through nine, they would be in four through nine.
Starting point is 01:45:46 They'd be five and Oh, yeah. So, but you already have a loss. You already have a loss. I've got the short-term memory of a goldfish and I vividly, that's the first thing I thought of was like Florida lost at the start of the year. They have a lot of games. That wasn't a lot like that. It would make sense if you played 10 games and you lost on the last game of the season
Starting point is 01:46:04 and it was a flukey loss and you're 23 point favorite, which guess what, Dan Mullin, that's on you, dude. Like you're 23 point favorite. You have Kyle Pitts. You sad him. I don't know if he's hurt. I think it was kind of a resting thing. Not taking them seriously.
Starting point is 01:46:17 You're playing against a freshman quarterback. Shout out Brad Johnson's son. Brad Johnson, all-time fat face. Love that guy. Just a big-ass face. He wore a big helmet and then he had the face mask that like huge face. His face mask was a double bar one, but it went down like below his chin. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:46:34 He didn't really, it protected his neck. He wasn't anything. He looked like one of those artists you see on like the Vegas strip or like Central Park who draws you like with a huge face and a little body. Yeah. That's his face. But that's all on you, Dan Mullin. You lost that game.
Starting point is 01:46:47 You already had lost the game. Like sorry, man. I kind of, I totally agree with you that the Big Ten has fucked up their schedule. The Pac-12 was fucked up their schedule. The fact that they haven't played a full schedule is stupid. They should have started in September and had built in five weeks. No argument there. Where I lost you is the fact that you already had lost.
Starting point is 01:47:06 So you can't say, well, this was the game like, and you still had to beat Bama. You're not going to beat Bama. I'm sorry. You're not going to beat Dan Mullin. Also said today. He said today that, uh, that Mac Jones was a great game manager for Alabama. So he's already like digging in. He's a salty one.
Starting point is 01:47:22 I like how salty he is. He is a salty ass coach. He's jealous that his wife's making out with all his players who's got a little extra level of spice and the, um, he's, you know what he is though? He's the part. A lot of head coaches where, so head coaches in college football are the master of their universe. They are the biggest ticket in town.
Starting point is 01:47:41 They run the whole place. They run the campus, the cops, everything. They are literally the king of a little tiny world where no one can tell them like, Hey, you can't do that. And then when things don't go their way, they immediately turn into like five year olds that complain about everything. And the best part is when you get a coach like Dan Mullen, who can't help himself, who doesn't have like the wherewithal to stop himself from saying things.
Starting point is 01:48:08 And he just is like, the best way to handle this is to whine out loud. And surely that will look good. I think he thinks that he's Nick Saban. He thinks that he's got like a couple of naddies under his belt. Right. Like he's got. Dabbo does this so like once a year. He's, yeah.
Starting point is 01:48:24 So he'll be like, Oh yeah. Four to stay forfeit. They're cowards. Dabbo, don't say that. He wants to be Dabbo. Yeah. That's who I am. I'm going to be that of Florida.
Starting point is 01:48:33 And it doesn't work for him because he doesn't have but he doesn't have the hardware to back it up. And in this specific scenario, it's like, dude, you lost early in the season to a better team than you. And can you can you imagine Ohio State getting beaten right now by LSU right in Columbus? I couldn't imagine it. No, I think Ohio State would beat the shit out of. Yes.
Starting point is 01:48:53 Like they would they would fucking curb stomp. Yes. You overlooked them. You overlooked LSU. And then that game was pretty sweet though. It was the fog. And the answers were like, I think they can see fine down on the field, but we can't see from up here.
Starting point is 01:49:05 No, it was like a cloud. Yes. It was like, yeah. I do love, I will say something nice about Florida. I like when Florida's in the mix, there's something about the swamp. There's something about the colors. I love the color of their uniforms. The gate.
Starting point is 01:49:19 They does suck. We've said this before, but when you have the gator chomp and then people can do it to you like a kicker doing it to you, Jake, you're a Florida fan, right? Yeah. It's tough. People do the same thing with the Seminole. Yeah. Maybe the chop.
Starting point is 01:49:35 The chop. Yeah. That's bad. Horns down. Horns down. That's always tough. When you have so many people could do, but yeah, I just love college coaches getting in front of a microphone and being like, I'm going to explain this away by being really,
Starting point is 01:49:49 really whiny about it. I mean, Scott Satterfield, we talked about him last week, like when they just start talking and they can't stop talking because they are the kings of their world. And usually 99.9% of the time when they talk or tell someone something, they will just buy it no matter what. And then what's usually the highest paid public like state employees inside that state. So they are a warlord. And then they exist in like, right.
Starting point is 01:50:13 And yeah, they have their own cops. Right. They are. They have their own cops. Warlords. And then they have their one moment where they lose a very bad game and they're like, I'm going to just be mad about it. And it always, it just makes me laugh every time.
Starting point is 01:50:26 I would love it if like one college coach, maybe Dan Mullen would do something like this, but like designed his own military style outfit, like a dictator actually wears. I think he would. And comes out with like ribbons on his chest and the hat and the sunglasses and the pins and the shoulder things with the golden frills on it. Makes everyone stand for him and attention. I mean, Lane Kiffin would look good in a dictator's outfit. I actually, I don't think that that's too unreasonable, especially because most of these
Starting point is 01:50:49 college coaches have like 10 kids anyway. They have a little child soldiers in their house. Yeah. They have a literal band of child soldiers or young adult soldiers. Yes. That play for them. Here we go. God, that'd be so fucking cool.
Starting point is 01:51:04 I mean, they did it. Miami when they wore the fatigues. That's true. Yeah. We need that. God, I'm not, I'm not going to be able to fall asleep tonight. I'm just going to be like imagining Mack Brown walking out with like a corn cob pipe, aviators and driving like an old school Jeep.
Starting point is 01:51:15 Yeah. With no absolutely no doors on it. Uh huh. When even the windshield has been removed. Pulling up with 10 people in it. He's got his entire staff. He's got the Jeep. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:51:23 Yeah. He's got a little tip. All right. Other other other games. Shout out to our guy. Keaton Slowvis, the part of my take bump, Clay Heltons, an idiot. He was trying to run the ball there at the end of the game. So Keaton saw that it was man to man and through a touchdown pass against UCLA and covered
Starting point is 01:51:40 the spread. He was throwing dimes out there. He was awesome. Do you have any criticism of him because we can't gas him up. Remember, he has to. Yeah. He missed some reads early in the game, watching the game footage, but it was actually a pretty stellar.
Starting point is 01:51:54 No, don't. Don't. Okay. I'll miss some reads. I'm going to be put himself in a hole. Yeah. He put himself in a hole. I noticed he actually wasn't defending his team when they almost had a brawl at the end.
Starting point is 01:52:02 Yeah. He didn't get involved in the scuffle. Yeah. He was like team guy move. He was like joking and laughing and walking away from it. I saw that too. Ding on the draft board. No, but USC just plays the same game every week now where they just go down and then they
Starting point is 01:52:13 come back late in a dramatic fashion. Is the pack too chill to complain when they don't get a team into the college playoff? It's more that they're just kind of used to it now. Yeah. It's been a while. I haven't heard any saltiness out of West Coast. I want to say, so obviously Oregon went and lost to Ohio State. That year that they beat James with the crazy fumble.
Starting point is 01:52:36 Yeah. And then also they lost Auburn, I want to say. So they've been in twice. Washington went once and got smoked by Alabama, but I think that's it. I think they've only had it three times. But they're not even trying to act like if USC goes undefeated, why aren't they getting any talk? I haven't heard a single person.
Starting point is 01:52:57 There's been a little bit of talk, but you can see it in the polls that the committee never even thought about that because they have them ranked in like 15th or something. The committee polls are just a joke at this point. They have Iowa State ranked seventh and Louisiana, who beat Iowa State by 17, I want to say, ranked like 19th. So it doesn't really make sense. Washington was in it in 2016, 2017. I remember that was when they switched it to New Year's night and it was like, oh,
Starting point is 01:53:28 this is going to be great. New Year's Eve. It was like, this is going to be great. And then it was just, I think Michigan State played one of the games too and didn't score. And we were just like, well, this sucks. That was a shit. No, it was Michigan State, Oklahoma, Alabama, Clemson. That was 2015.
Starting point is 01:53:42 So there were some good college football games next Saturday. It's going to be awesome. I'm very, very excited. Black championships kicks us off on Friday night. Watch out for Buffalo. They're beasts. Oh, and that Western Michigan play. Did you guys see that?
Starting point is 01:53:55 Yeah. That should count. That was the most action thing ever. I should count that. That should absolutely count. All right. Should we do some football guy of the week and then baby Braun and then we'll get out of here with who's back of the week.
Starting point is 01:54:08 Football guy of the week. So football guy of the week. First up, Pachter's offensive tackle, David Bakhtiari. Okay. He showed pride in a tweet after running down the field after Aaron Jones during last week's win over the Eagles. Kind of have to see it to not believe it, but see it to understand the context. I saw the play.
Starting point is 01:54:27 I saw the play. The play was, I mean, it was a great hustle play on his part, but he didn't really do anything. He just kind of like ran down the field and was looking for somebody to block and he couldn't block anyone. So he just kept running. Right. I should reiterate the tweet itself for the guys coming in at last, at the last second
Starting point is 01:54:43 mark on gassers for the kids that have worn a t-shirt to the pool, for the guys who have to order an appetizer with an Andre. I didn't run for me. I ran for us. Anything is possible. Go 69. Go. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:54:56 He's a underrated 69 guy. Yes. He's more, he's actually more about that 69 life than Gronk is. Yes. Next, a recurring nominee, Sarah Fuller, Randall Cricker, but not for football. Of course, the point was historic and that was great, but she took a smelling salt, right? Took coming to the sideline. She ripped it too.
Starting point is 01:55:13 Yeah. Billy liked the form. It was like a couple lines of smelling salt and she's, I'm just going to say this once, she's bigger than Billy. She's like six, two and a half. She could beat the shit out of Billy. I've been looking at pictures of Billy football when he's standing next to Dave Portnoy, when he's standing next to P.F.T.
Starting point is 01:55:30 Cometer. He's not that tall, so Sarah Fuller, taller than Billy, would absolutely kick the shit out of you. Yes. Fight Fuller.com. Fight Fuller.com. Absolutely. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:55:42 Of course. Shout out to all the people who just can't just let a moment happen and have to be like, this is bullshit. It means something in our culture war. Just, it was, it was cool. It was, it's been an awful ball. If you're, if you're that threatened by that, like, Jesus fucking Christ, man. Find a new hobby.
Starting point is 01:56:00 Do something else. You can't, you can't let Sarah Fuller kicking an extra point ruin your entire day. You cannot. A Saturday. You cannot. It's Saturday. It makes you a small dick guy. Imagine, imagine being so angry at that.
Starting point is 01:56:16 That you, you, you listen, you're watching football and you get so mad that you have, you walk across the room to the computer and say, actually, why it's bad. And then you take people enjoy things and then you take a tweezers out of your, out of your little desk cabinet and, and you just, and you just start jerking off your little tiny penis for the rest of the day. Texas A&M linebacker Buddy Johnson, when asked where he would rank the Aggies, he said he has no idea, but he said, I can tell you what time we practice today. I mean, just for the name alone.
Starting point is 01:56:51 That's a football, what a football name, Buddy Johnson, means, hang on, talking. Yeah. Lastly, giant defensive coordinator, Patrick Graham. When asked about potential head coaching interests, he said, I'm not smart enough to think ahead of today. I'm going to get ready for third down against Arizona. There we go. That didn't really work out.
Starting point is 01:57:12 No, no. So, vote in the poll. Yeah. By the way, shout out Arizona Wildcats, who you lost so bad that you had to fire your coach. That game was so bad. The blowouts in the social media, they need to talk about that. Oh my God, it's my favorite thing in the entire world.
Starting point is 01:57:29 That poor kid who they put on that graphic card, I want to interview, actually, I would love, let's set that up. So, a social media editor for a team, college or NFL, please hit us up, but you have to have like four or five times that you can show us, that you've had to tweet just an absolute shellacking and I want to talk to you for 10 minutes about what goes through your head when you have to do that. I'm pretty sure it's like a branded thing where they have to guarantee a minimum amount of posts that have like a picture with their sponsor's handle on it or it's also, listen,
Starting point is 01:58:08 they're not dumb. They know that it's good for engagement. But I want to talk to them. At the end of the year, they have to be like, and we had four tweets this month that got an average of 2.5 thousand replies to them because we got beat by our in-state rivals by 63 points. I just like, I just like final, final. So we want to talk to that person.
Starting point is 01:58:28 So let's, if you are that person and you can prove that you've had to do it like four or five times, we would like to have a 10 minute conversation with you with everything that goes through your head, whether you look at the mentions, et cetera, et cetera. All right. Babe Braun of the week. Hank, you're Babe Braun of the week. Apparently, there's a guy in the Lakers named Talon. Oh, Talon Horton Tucker.
Starting point is 01:58:50 There we go. Talon Horton Tucker. Wait. Where did he go to school? Oh, Jake didn't know. Wow. We can get knowledge like that all the time. I would say, I enjoyed he so he tweeted.
Starting point is 01:59:04 He's on the Lakers. He had like 19 points. One of their preseason games. Gar form is so mad that he didn't draft him. LeBron tweeted, which I enjoyed this baby Braun because I think it's a little bit of a sub tweet kind of like at Kyle Kuzma, but it was like telling you right now this kid is flat out special. Mark my words.
Starting point is 01:59:20 So it's like, you know, there's, it's not just he's gassing up his teammates. LeBron's also the coach and the GM. So yeah, if he's saying that about this kid, Hank, then Kyle Kuzma is also like, Oh, what the fuck? And a sports junkie, regardless of his own sport. He's placed. Correct. Correct.
Starting point is 01:59:34 Just his thoughts. My baby Bron is Derek Henry, but not because LeBron is claiming him because Derek Henry has, I guess he sunned himself, Derek Henry suned himself, sun cucked LeBron James, did the LeBron celebration. When we scored that touchdown, the three high knees and then the chest slap and then LeBron saw it online. And Hank, we should actually put the audio in here LeBron James watching Derek Henry do the LeBron celebration and the grunts that he makes.
Starting point is 02:00:04 Well he's because you can tell LeBron is standing up at the time and emulating Derek Henry emulating LeBron James. Right. Yeah, King. Yeah, King. Let's go. And nothing makes him happier in the entire world than that. And so Derek Henry has, he's forced himself into the LeBron family.
Starting point is 02:00:30 That's a big mouth to feed on Taco Tuesday. Uh huh. Huge mouth. So you're going to want to expand the budget a little bit for your shopping. But yeah, Derek Henry is baby Bron of the week. All right. I think we've had this a couple of weeks, but baby Bron, because ESPN just stole it from us.
Starting point is 02:00:46 And now I know they didn't actually steal it from us, but so LeBron, I think it was the anniversary of the first time LeBron was on ESPN, uh, it was like maybe 20 years ago and the headline said baby Bron. Yep. They know what they're doing. They know exactly what they're doing. So baby Bron gets the baby Bron of the week for me. So yeah.
Starting point is 02:01:07 And Dicky V just losing his mind. Okay. Are you serious? Yeah. Cause baby Bron threw a pass behind his baby. Baby Bron back. Exactly. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:01:16 Yeah. It's just a baby Bron everywhere. But yeah, I saw that and I was like, you motherfuckers. Like, of course you get to do it because you did actually have the rights to baby Bron. But still, you know what you're doing as preteen. That was a 16 year old Bron. Yeah. We're making baby Bron big.
Starting point is 02:01:33 And then you just hopped on and we're like, Hey, baby Bron of the week, baby Bron. I don't think I can think of a more ESPN thing to say than they just tweeted out the anniversary of LeBron James appearing for the first time on ESPN. Yeah. No, it's look at this on this date. Baby Bron makes ESPN debut. That's a Jake Marsh on this day in sports. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 02:01:55 Literally baby Bron got fuck you ESPN. We know what you're doing. They're distancing themselves from our content. Sasha Obama. Whoa. Baby Bron of the week. Whoa, dude. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:02:08 Why? She's just blowing up Twitter. Yeah. For what? For being baby Bron of the week. What'd she do, Billy? What? No, she's just been trending.
Starting point is 02:02:17 Why? Why? Because she's, you don't know why. Billy, this, this is. Well, they all might have taken. I was starting lack of preparation. Chase Young. He went off.
Starting point is 02:02:28 Okay. Cool. Yeah. Okay. Billy, do you check why Sasha Obama is trending? No. Why? All right.
Starting point is 02:02:36 I'm looking up right now. We're all going to find out together. Uh-oh. This new Sasha Obama photo tearing through Twitter is so stunning. Hearing lies. I think he's just a mirror selfie. You give me daddy issues. Oh, so you do know.
Starting point is 02:02:49 She, she took a picture that made Billy horny. Uh-huh. Uh, thanks Billy. All right, Billy. She's 19. All right. Let's finish up. Actually, you're what?
Starting point is 02:03:01 21? Yeah, you're 21. Let's finish up with who's back in the week. You know what's really back? PFT, you had it the other day, right? I had, no, I had two of them. Two of them. The McRib.
Starting point is 02:03:11 I had the McRib. Is it back? It's big time back. Two of them, the perfect launch. Two McRibs, a large fry and a McDonald's Sprite. It does not get better than that. That's heaven on earth. I love the McRib and it's only around once in a great while.
Starting point is 02:03:25 It's the most important sandwich of the year. It's back. It's available at participating McDonald's. I love the McRib. Some cities get it every single year. You're lucky if you're in one of those cities, but others have gone up to seven years without the McRib. The longer places have without it,
Starting point is 02:03:41 the more outcry for it to return there is. It's like the Browns in the playoffs. That's the McRib for some cities. You don't get it all the time. You need the McRib. And even if you only get it once a year, you miss it during those other 11 months when it's gone. You want it back.
Starting point is 02:03:55 You've heard about it in the New York Times. Advice, time, more featured op-eds about the McRib. I want to write an op-ed about the McRib and get it in the New York Times. How does one go about doing that? That would be like Chris Berman using one of our Berman's on NFL prime time. And then the Wall Street Journal publishing an op-ed for me
Starting point is 02:04:16 about how much I miss the McRib. My career would only go down from there. People have driven overstate lines to get a McRib because it's not available in their area. One guy started a McRib finder that told people where the McRib is available. Some have decided to just find ways to make their own McRib, but it's not the same.
Starting point is 02:04:33 It's just not the same. It's available for a limited time at participating McDonald's. Get the McRib. Get two McRibs. Sprite and a large fry. That's the Cactus Jackmeal. That's the new Cactus Jackmeal. We declared it.
Starting point is 02:04:44 Check it out. McRib, get involved. All right. Who's back of the week? Hank. My who's back of the week is NBA players in general. Jason Tatum being 19. So Jason Tatum apparently grew.
Starting point is 02:04:57 He did do a little Kevin Durant. I guess the opposite of Kevin Durant. He's listed as 6'10 this year. Brad Stevens says he's grown a couple inches. No, that is the Kevin Durant. You get an inch taller every year. No, but Kevin Durant does that. He's taller than he lists himself.
Starting point is 02:05:12 Kevin Durant weirdly does the opposite. Huh. Kevin Durant refuses to say that he's seven footer. Right. Right. So like, I guess LeBron does that. He's gone from like 6'7 to 6'8 to 6'9. And then he gets like 10 pounds heavier every year too.
Starting point is 02:05:27 Speaking of Kevin Durant though, he's also back in the news. Him and Kyrie Irving to the Instagram live on Saturday night, which was one of the craziest, given the fact that Kyrie Irving is not doing media this year or whatever. He says he's getting fine. He's like, I'm too, I'm too important for media sessions. Like that doesn't faze me. He doesn't talk to Pons.
Starting point is 02:05:46 Did this Instagram live where I couldn't tell if they're trolling? I think they were. They're not trolling. I think they were. I think it's one of those things. No, I really, I really couldn't tell. I had to give him some honest, honest thought because they're talking about like how many post-ups per games Kyrie's going to get.
Starting point is 02:05:59 And he's like, you know, I'll get, I'll get 10 and Kevin Durant's like, uh, no, we agreed to two and a half. And like the half is just you going into the post and kicking it back out to me. And they were like clearly arguing. So it's like, if they were trolling, it's funny. But if they're not trolling, it actually, everyone was obviously the reaction was like, this is going to be a disaster. This team is not going to work.
Starting point is 02:06:17 They're just going to fight the whole time. I feel like they're trolling. So they're trolling. It's funny, but I don't know. I don't know. I really don't know, especially with Kyrie. Like he's so, he is weird. I think I've decided to just, like he was sitting too, like he was meditating.
Starting point is 02:06:27 Like the way he was sitting was just giving me the weirdest vibes. I think I'm going to become a Kyrie guy and just take everything that he says as a hundred percent the truth. Well, he's just like, I don't know. He's 30 years now. We might look back two years ago and he said, I can't wait to come back to Boston. But Kyrie is getting dangerously close to that territory where I'm going to start liking him because he makes so many people mad.
Starting point is 02:06:49 Yeah. Like when he gets everyone pissed off, if he continues to get everyone pissed off, I'm just like, I kind of liked a disruptor. He's a disruptor. He definitely thinks of himself as a disruptor. Yes. That's the only problem. He thinks he's the basketball Steve job.
Starting point is 02:07:03 But I'm not hopping all the way in because of that self-awareness. But big cat, what if like, okay, think about it. What's the harm in going with everything that Kyrie Irving says and believes? I'd rather believe him and have him be wrong than not believe him and have him be right. Yeah. Like what's the harm in me believing that the earth is flat? None. Absolutely none.
Starting point is 02:07:25 None. So I think we're a Kyrie pocket. I think we are. No. I think we just talked ourselves in. Two out of three. Is he getting dangerously skinny? He looks like he's skinny.
Starting point is 02:07:33 They both look kind of skinny. Yeah. Oh, Billy. Oh, Billy. Yikes. Not good. Uh-oh. All right.
Starting point is 02:07:41 P.F.T. Year, who's back? My who's back of the week is United States soccer. Oh. Do we win? U.S. Soccer is back big time. Well, in a way, we did because Georena, I think he's Claudio Reina's son, long time captain. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 02:07:55 Well, that was one name. He had that nice assist back in 2002 against Mexico. I remember that. Sounds good. Georena scored an amazing goal. A cracker world class. No, you can't say racist stuff like that. Fredo of a goal.
Starting point is 02:08:09 And him and Pucilicic are tearing up European soccer. So I'm confident in the U.S.'s chances in 2022 in Qatar. We're finally back. I think we're back. Fredo, you do. Finally back. Come on board, buddy. We missed you.
Starting point is 02:08:24 All right. My who's back of the week is end of the year prep diets. We're going to get back into it, boys. You got to prep yourself before we get to January 1. I told you, Billy, I'm going to get back in the gym tomorrow. Mm-hmm. This is the time. This is the time you give yourself a little lead up and then you're ready to go because
Starting point is 02:08:40 guess what? What do they say about January 1st? Amateur season, right? Amateur hour. Yeah. I got to try to get in the gym before that. Yeah. It's like the people that go out to bars on New Year's Eve.
Starting point is 02:08:50 Right. Right. So I'm telling you. Unlike me, a cool guy. Yeah. He's in bars every single night. All the time. Here's what you got to do.
Starting point is 02:08:58 You have three weeks until New Year's. You got to do, I would say at least three times you need to go for a little jog. Okay. Maybe eat a couple of salads. Mm-hmm. You need to get yourself, you're priming yourself up so that on January 1st you're not going to shock your system when you actually do try to get on that. It's actually dangerous if you go to the gym on January 1st.
Starting point is 02:09:18 Correct. So I'm going to start hitting the gym. I'm going to make sure I warm myself up. This is the time. Left side only for you, big guy. Yeah. Then you hit the ground running and you're ready to go January 1st. Look what side faces the camera for us.
Starting point is 02:09:31 Yes. Yes. We'll be just a swole ass podcast. Billy. My Zubak of the week is. Your Zubak? Your Zubak? Okay.
Starting point is 02:09:39 Who's back of the week is Tyreek Hill having a bad impact on the kids? Oh. This Iowa, Iowa's state wide receiver Amir Smith-Marsat back flipped into the end zone and sprained his ankle and that was influenced, Iowa was influenced by Tyreek Hill flipping into the end zone for the past couple of weeks and we have a injury because of it. Okay. So he's a bad influence on the kids. How about DK Metcalf being a bad influence too?
Starting point is 02:10:07 Flickering into the stands, taking a cameraman's job, sat in the camera, can't have it, can't have it. True. He showed it's not. Can't have it. Yeah. All right. We could switch positions.
Starting point is 02:10:20 Numbers. Numbers. Eight. Eighteen. Seven. Who's back? Jake? Changing team names.
Starting point is 02:10:28 The Cleveland baseball team. Oh, yeah. That's right. The Spiders, babies. The Cleveland baseball team. I like that, Jake. You have a partner to dance with. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:10:36 Yeah. They can take out of their sport if they don't have a mascot. Our mascot is a fucking football team, Hank. No, it's not. Oh, Hank. Oh, Hank. Are you in the hunt? I only listen to people's opinions who are in the hunt.
Starting point is 02:10:48 You're not in the hunt. The football team is. I'm in the hunt. Big Cat's in the hunt. I'll respect his opinion. Mm-hmm. Spiders. Until such time as when they are not in the hunt.
Starting point is 02:10:56 The Spiders. Who's they? The football team. You know exactly who the football team is. I can't wait till the New Yorker writes an article in like five years being like, what's the supremacist have adopted the old Cleveland Indians gear? Oh, yeah. They will.
Starting point is 02:11:12 Okay. You know how to spot a white supremacist? I'm in for the Spiders. Um, what about the Cleveland bronze? Oh, the baby bronze. Because they don't have a dub. This is a little bronze. And you sell baby jerseys.
Starting point is 02:11:21 Yeah. Baby bronze. Yeah. All right. 28. 18, 18. 46. 46.
Starting point is 02:11:29 9. 9. Go Billy. 81. 28. But I'm not going to get it. What? I'm trying not to get it.
Starting point is 02:11:39 Nope. You're cursed. 100. Oh, shit. Wow. Wow. I didn't even know we had 100. No, that's like on roulette.
Starting point is 02:11:49 And it fell out of the thing. Oh my God. Imagine if you had gotten 100. Too many digits. Wow. I didn't know that happened. What a twist ending to this show. In the Ice Age, there used to be beavers eight feet tall and 200 plus pounds.
Starting point is 02:12:05 You know the random people who say they go beavers facts? No. Dude, I saw that. I had a great joke that I didn't use right there. Just for the record. What? Did you also block Nate's comment on Twitter from being beavers? Oh, come on.
Starting point is 02:12:18 Oh, you did? What did Nate say? Nate called him a pussy until he blocked it. But you can realize everyone could see that. Did I hit it? Yeah. Nice. I don't know what to find with Nate.
Starting point is 02:12:28 I'm talking away, I don't know what I'm just saying, I'm saying it anyway, today's not the day to find you, shine away, I'll be coming for your love okay, shine away. I'll be coming for your love okay, take on me, take me on, I'll be gone with you tonight. Bye. Bye.

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