Pardon My Take - NFL Week 3 Recap, Fastest 2 Minutes And Deion Sanders

Episode Date: September 28, 2020

NFL Week 3 in the books and we start with the Fastest 2 minutes (2:17 - 8:49). Recapping every game from Sunday. Nick Foles is back. Josh Allen is the most fun quarterback ever. Hyperdrive didnt work for the Jets. Joe Judge might be a College Football Coach. The Bengals and Eagles tied in embarrassing fashion. Cowboys and Seahawks shoot out and more. Deion Sanders joins the show to talk football for 20 minutes( 94:37 - 113:38). Football guy of the week and who's back of the week with some NBA playoff talkYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, we have NFL Week 3, Recap, fastest 2 minutes, every single game we're going to talk about. We have Deion Sanders on to discuss what happened. It was an awesome week 3, we had ties, we had shootouts, we had QB changes, we had everything. And it's all brought, oh we're also going to do Football Guy of the Week, presented

by Philips Noroco, our friends at Philips Noroco, Football Guy of the Week, some great nominations and who's back of the week and Jake's Heatbeat Hank Celtic, so we'll have to discuss that at least briefly. Before we do all of that though, we are brought to you by Cash App, we're in the Cash App studio, Cash App is our presenting sponsor, we love the Cash App. You should love the Cash App too, the Cash App is the best app in the world, go download it right now, it is super super super easy to use, so go download the Cash App, you can link it directly to your bank account, you can send money to friends, send money to family,

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Okay, let's go! Welcome to Part of My Tag, presented by the Cash App, go download it right now, use code BARSTULE, you get $10 for free, $10 to ASPCA, today is Monday, September 28th, week 3, Trace, as our friends in Spanish say, El Mexico, El Trace. We start in Western New York where Denzel Joshington played like a man on fire, stumbling and bumbling and rumbling to four touchdowns, Cole super cool, Beasley smoked the Rams secondary and Tyler Laura Croft raided the end zone like it was a tomb, but wait, Aaron Donald Trump may need to submit a very strong piss test as the Rams came back to take the lead

late, only to be done in by the Bills as Buffalo wins the battle of Sean Mix and McVeigh says I wish I was back in LA. Hey Teach, no one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills, Bills 35, Rams 32. In the battle of the tuck rule, Bill Belichick has something special concealed in his waistband, a big throbbing head, Birkhead that is, in a viral marketing ad to pre-order your new Sony PlayStation Michelle came out of retirement to run for 117 yards and in a touching tribute to Cisco, John Grudin wore a thong on his face, creating viral memes across the internet, who did this cam, skull emoji, skull emoji, skull emoji, 100 retweets for a random Twitter

account, 100,000 for Rex Birkhead Chapman, Patrick 36, the raiders, 20, in Atlanta where we'd like to wish an easy fast to all of our listeners that don the star of David Montgomery, thankfully Chick-fil-A is not open on Sundays, am I right, Teach? Mitch McConnell-Trabisky was advocating to be sent to the bench and that's exactly what Matt Nagy did as Big Dick Nick laid down on the Falcons secondary, stop me if you heard this before, but the Millennial Falcons season is tick-tocking away as they blow another fourth quarter lead and the seat is en fuego for Dan Patrick Quinn, Bears 30, Falcons 26. In Cleveland where Komodo Beckham got almost got a case of ass interference breaking up

a nine route from Baker like it was an eight ball, Casey and Jojo Natsen saying all my life I've been waiting to be above 500, John Dwayne Gacy Haskins looked like a clown as he continues to eat losers on the young season, in the land of the Cuyahoga, Jack Doreo and Riverboat Ron were the only two waterways that didn't catch on fire in Cleveland this weekend, the Washington football team falls to the Browns 34-20. Come spread, they say a tie is like kissing your sister so what better place to practice a tie than the city a brotherly love, just miles from the boardwalk of Atlantic City Carson Wentz seems to have a monopoly on the starting job but it may be time to go directly

to jail in, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars, the two teams spent overtime titty bumping in trading punts only to have Matt Damon Pryor have a less than interstellar moment as a false start forced Doug Peterson to, huh, huh, he did what? He punted boom. He punted? Eagles 23, Bengals also 23, huh, huh, a punt? In Pittsburgh where the brothers jammed out, Derek Wapp dip adop adop TJ Watt dip adop adop JJ Watt, the Texan stink like poo, oh yeah, yeah, to Sean Watson with singing Bud

Dupri's Diamond Blues as a Steelers past rush was in the backfield all afternoon, Bill Bob Ryan is making a hobbit out of losing on his quest for a ring, Juju Smith Rooster played like he had a big cock-a-doodle-doo and Big Ben continues to fight his porn addiction as he comes from behind against the Houston Alexis Texans, Steelers 28, the Texas 21. Back to the metal lands where podcaster Nick Mullins took his talents to the sticky turf of come town New York, damn Daniel Jones back at it again with the turnovers, Jeff Curry Wilson outshone the Golden Tate Warriors and with the recent passing of my dear friend Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Giants fans are hoping that Joe Judge will be nominated for a job

other than Giants head coach because if Ro V Wade gets overturned, this type of performance by the G-Men will soon be illegal, 49ers 36, Giants 9, the New York football Giants, the New York football Giants. In Arizona people are saying to Matt Patricia, wake up fatty, I think I got something to say to you, it's late September and the Lions are one and two, as Gisabella said, I smell sex and D, playing in the Lions backfield like it was Marcy Playground, it was a motor city vs the Uptempo Cardinals, billed as the Oscar nominated Peter Churnen movie, Matthew Stafford vs Ferrari, but it was the Prater Boy who said see you later boy, stealing the

victory and for the first time in 12 games, the Lions have a win, 26-23. To Roar and Italian Mike is back on Tee-hee, come on Aaron, complaining like Aaron, but the Saints, their streams got perfect eyesight, he can't stop staring, backers 37, Saints 27, I fucked that up Tee-hee, and we finished in Seattle where the Rain City Dacks rubbed out a late score only to have Mr. Unlimited march down the field for a win, the game was crazy from the start, as D came back, Cap said, they're not gonna get fumble, the Dallas office was powered by Cedric the Entertainer Wilson's two scores, but their defense is so laughably bad, they're starting to call them the original Kings and Comedy in Big

D, A-C-D-C Lamb was a fast machine, Captain's Jersey clean, but the Dallas Cowboys are a losing team, Seahawks 38, Cowboys 31. Alright, week three, an awesome week three, we still got Money Night Football, Chiefs vs Ravens, but holy shit. These are the best weeks when the best matchup of the week is yet to come. Yes. I feel like we have not yet begun to drink beer on our couches, watch television. But it was an awesome week three, some great storylines, some great games, some fucking

insane games, and we had a tie, we had a tie, which we're gonna get to, so we're gonna recap every game. We have Dion as well at the end. We'll start with Sunday night because we always do. Unfortunately, it seems like Aaron Rodgers is just gonna be good this year. Of all the things that COVID has done to us this year, making Aaron Rodgers a lethal weapon on the road might be among the worst because the hard counts, Aaron Rodgers, he cheats in so many legal ways.

He does the hard counts all the time, and when you stack up his cheating, he becomes impossible to stop when he does the hard count, gets somebody to jump, and then he throws a ball to the end zone to collect an easy pass and a reference. All you have to do, you just throw your hands up, you're like, I can't compete with a guy who's double cheating legally on it. We also know he's good at it. Just stop. Like every announcer's gotta be like, Aaron Rodgers, these hard counts.

I will say, I was maybe a little early on Drew Brees burying him, he had a 58 yard bomb to Alvin Kamara, I always screw that up. It was actually like four air yards, and then he ran an unbelievable touchdown run down the field. But Drew Brees is back. Yeah, Drew Brees is back. Kamara got outran by his offense alignment on that run down the sideway. It's so sad though watching Drew Brees, and I'm not gonna pick on him because their offense

looked a lot better than it did against the Raiders, but when he does, his mind is clearly still there, so that's why he could still be an average quarterback. He does not have dementia. His mind is completely there, he can see the field and everything, but when he does the cockback and he's like, nope, don't have it, he does at least three or four times a game where he loads it up and he's like, nope, this isn't going where it needs to go. Let me just check it down. That was my favorite thing about Drew Brees.

When he was able to throw the long ball, when he would do the double shoulder cockback, get to exactly 45 degrees and then launch it. And now you can tell, he's like, you know what, I'm not even gonna give this a shot. But Camara, Camara is awesome. Oh, he's so good. Camara is so fun to watch. He works a cool mouth guard. Yes, he does.

That should be on the record. He gets, it's on the record, make a note of it, Hank. When he gets hit, and he gets hit a lot when he runs, it just seems like people don't hit him that hard. I'm sure they are hitting him hard, but he's got such good balance. It's the balance. He could pass any DUI test, which is a very useful test to be able to pass New Orleans. His body control, I love when we talk about body control and balance, but it is the truth.

He is actually kind of like, look at that, look at that mouth guard. Did you see it? Yes. It just showed it. It's got bling in it, but it's like also kind of see through. He's like a ballerina. He can't be, if you hit him, you think you're hitting him square and he'll just spin on you or stay up and it's awesome to watch.

I don't think the Saints, I'm not burying the Saints. I think they're still a very good team. Their defense had some big plays. They actually, their defense played too well on the goal line tonight, essentially icing the game because they made the Packers work for that last touchdown. I'm just more disappointed because the fucking Packers figured out a way to make Aaron Rodgers good again. And that was drafting Jordan Love.

And now he's good again. And they scored, what was it, 125 points in the first three games, insane, insane numbers. So I don't know, whatever. Are you worried that Aaron Rodgers, or that he's going to get like too comfortable? He's not going to be pissed off in the second half. We need to kidnap Jordan Love and be like, he's not a threat anymore, man. And then you can go back to just being grumpy Aaron Rodgers, like we saw last year. Grumpy Aaron Rodgers is a very dangerous Aaron Rodgers.

It is. This is last year they were the team that everyone was like, OK, they're not 13 and three. They're on paper, you know, they just don't, they, if you watch the game with your eyes, they're not as good as 13 and three. They had a bunch of luck go their way. It seems like this year they are what they are. And that's a very good team. They, yeah, it's unfortunate.

The way they're playing right now is definitely a 13 and three style of football. And Matt LaFleur on the sideline seems to he seems to have figured out the code to letting Aaron Rodgers cook, like just kind of staying out of his way. Letting him have a moment. Letting him cook. Well, I'll get to that. Having a moment. I'll get to that in a little bit.

I feel like it might be time to maybe let Russ cook not so much. Well, we also just, I think the word cook now that we got the rust, like the let Russ cook thing happened. We're now anytime someone has a good game, we're going to be like that guy cooked. OK, so let's go. Let's switch up. Go to like barbecue or let Aaron, let Aaron smoke. Let Aaron Rodgers cheat with his hard count.

Yes, that works. Have we, have we heard any one game without cheating? Have we heard any specific of Aaron Rodgers patented like goofy, hard count audibles that he uses to kind of troll people sometimes? Yeah, I'm sure he'll, he'll bring those out. I also think that the refs sometimes in New Orleans like to come up with new ways just to piss off Sean Payton with some bad spots and just make him make him sweat it out on the sidelines for a little bit until New York has to admit

that they got it wrong. It was so yeah, that was so bad. The refs just get into the Superdome and they just they become drunk. They they they instantly become drunk and they make bad calls. So that was Sunday night football, great Sunday night football. Again, I don't think I think both those teams will be heard from. I mean, the Packers obviously three and oh, but the Saints, I'm not going to bury them one and two, even though I've said my piece about

Drew Brees not being able to throw it more than 10 yards down the field. I think that now is we have to kind of dial back or put in James claims. I would still like to see James in, but I don't think that there's a football case to be made for St. James Winston. Oh, I want to take some hill. Take some hill all the time, all the time, all the goddamn time because he's electric. All right, so next game we're going to we're going to start back at the one

o'clock's Bill's Rams, Bill's 35 Rams 32. This was an awesome game. Josh Allen. All right, we did the haters speech last week, so we won't do that again. What I will say, though, is even the stone cold, like cold for a heart hater out there has to admit that at least watching Josh Allen is so much fun. Yes, it is such a roller coaster.

He had he did the pitch play again, where he just lost his mind and tried to throw it backwards. He throws jump balls on the reg that are hitting this year. And he got a face mask as an offensive player as a quarterback about to get sacked and he just basically threw one guy into another guy via his face mask. And that was just a man's penalty. What happens with Josh Allen at the end of every single play is he just he matches all the buttons.

So like if you're playing football, if you're playing Madden or something like that, if the play is about to be over, you just you hit anything that you can't to get out of it. You don't know what you're going to do sometimes. Oh, that's the lateral button. I didn't know that existed. That's Josh Allen's brain. He's just kind of panicking sometimes.

Yeah, he just his brain hits all the buttons. But I do think I think that if you're getting hit as much as he was getting hit by Aaron Donald in that second half, you should be allowed to face mask Aaron Donald. So you need to have you need to be able to defend yourself. The guy trains with knives so you can't use like a running back to chip that guy. Maybe OJ and Buffalo. I wish I wish the I wish the refs had gone into a huddle and been like, what's the penalty here?

Face mask or was it just Josh Allen? So much of a man that he's just tossing people around. Yeah, that's really like you can't really flag him for that. You shouldn't. It's football. So he also they're running like an option offense on the goal line. He has so Josh Allen now has a thousand yards over a thousand yards passing in three games, 10 touchdowns. His one interception was not an interception.

So Rams fans, five of you. You that was mean, but complaining about the defensive pass interference at the end of the game, a little suspect, but there was contact. You also have to at least mention the fact that Josh Allen's interception was blatantly not an interception and they somehow fucked it up and still called it an interception. Yeah, like it wasn't. It just was not an interception.

And he feasted on Jalen Ramsey, too, after Jalen called him trash two years ago. Right. So so he broke Jim Kelly's record for most touchdowns through three games. Pretty impressive. Yep. Jim Kelly, pretty damn good Hall of Famer. That Bill's offense was insane. So he's been like, if it weren't for Russ Wilson right now, you'd have to be at least have him in the MVP talk. I mean, he has touchdowns through three years and two rushing touchdowns.

Very clearly, I'll say it. Josh Allen is an elite quarterback. Josh Allen is. Wow, you're going all the way there. He is elite. And it's going to be awesome watching him play against the Patriots this year because it's Spider-Man meme. It's like two very similar style quarterbacks in similar style offense at times, going at each other.

That's going to be so I I want to talk myself into the Bills being the favorites to win that division. I don't know if I'm there just to go through the page. They still have to get. I do like what the Bills, the Bills are are starting fast in every game, too. They've he's thrown a first quarter touchdown in all three games. Last year, I think he did that twice. So it's good to see their offense is starting fast.

And on the other side, the Rams. This is, dare I say, a statement loss because they look like trash in the first half and McVeigh, who McVeigh was, you know, the year they went to the Super Bowl, he was the hottest commodity. Last year, I don't know if the league figured him out. If you want to say that or just a bunch of injuries, but he clearly a little shine came off. What he did in that second half shows like how insane of a coach he is

because he basically figured out that Bills defense was a very good defense. And they ripped down the field, like many possessions in a row. So and he even said afterwards, he's like, I love these guys. This is the type of game where, you know, like I put him in a bad spot in the first half, they fought back. I love this team. So I'm saying statement loss. Well, I like that. He remembered that he had Cooper Cup, Cooper Cup,

like really unlocked that in the second half. And they're running the ball really well. Yeah, yeah, which, you know, they they they're offensive line struggle. Last year, I feel like it's done a lot better job. And they still have I mean, you could say maybe the best player in football and Aaron Donald, the hangovers off. I'm going to talk all of last year up to hangover. That's what I did for my entire 25th year.

I think that's what the Rams dealt with coming off that Super Bowl. And now they do look different. They look like like Jared Goff looks good again. The defense is very, very good when they when they choose to turn it on a little bit. I just I I get a little hold on one sec. The so they have something up on the screen right now while we're watching. It's Josh Allen. Most pass yards during three no start.

The names up there are Kurt Warner, Patrick Mahomes, Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Steve Young, Josh Allen. Incredible. A thousand thirty eight yards. Pre a bunch of Hall of Famers. Throwing the shot. He's throwing the shoot out of the ball. That's that much is clear. But I do miss the element of the refs getting booed by the by the fans.

Well, you don't get that as much. I think that there are certain cities where they should allow the stadium to play boo effects. I would say they do in Philly. I would say Philly. No, they did last week. OK, good cars and went good. I like the sound effects. I love that.

So Philly should be allowed to do it. Buffalo should be allowed to do it. Atlanta. No, no, New Orleans. Actually, the remarkable thing about Atlanta is as many heartbreaking losses as as they've had and signature losses that they've had. I don't think they have a single one that they can blame on the officials. No, which is crazy. No, it's nuts to think that. Wait, so one last thought.

I it's going to just stick with me every single week, but it really sucks that Bill's mafia can't be at these games. That game would have been electric with just a bunch of Western New Yorkers drunk out of their mind. And we've said this before, but those late September Bill's games when everyone has been out in the sun for way too long and looks like a lobster, it's like barely hanging on in the fourth quarter. They're squeezing their last weekend out of the summer.

They're still making so much noise. So I I think that we should do one more day where we will absolve you of your Josh Allen sins in the past. Sure. We'll do one. Do you have 24 hours? Just admit that even if you even if you want to keep hating him, which I'm fine with, because, you know, that's what sports are about. You got to hate guys, at least just admit that he's he's fucking fun to watch.

I think that, yeah, admit that he's fun to watch. You have two ways to go when it comes to like accepting the fact that Josh Allen is really good. One, just accept it and atone for your sins of the past to double down on him sucking. Yeah. Like, because that's that's a killer. That's actually complicated. If you reach a point in the NFL where you have people who hate you,

like nobody really hated Josh Allen. You might even say that like some Bill's fans hated Josh Allen more than his opponents did for the first couple of years he was in the league. Now, I think he's earned the right to have haters that just say that he sucks, even though they know that he's good, kind of like you and Aaron Rodgers. Right. Right. That's I mean, it's what sports it's what keeps the sports world spinning. The hate that is in your heart is stronger than the love.

All right, let's move on. Bears, Falcons, Big Dick, Nick time. I feel bad for Mitch. I really, really do. They were showing him on the sideline and it's sad. Like no one Mitch can't. I've said this before, but Mitch is not to blame for going number two in a draft ahead of my homes in Watson.

That's Ryan Pace being an idiot. Like, Mitch didn't ask for that. So if he went if he has a nicer car, they never would have drafted. Right. If Mitchell risky gets drafted in the second round, he doesn't become this internet meme and roast it all the time. It sucks. Like I genuinely feel bad for him. With that said, it was clear that I mean, Matt Nagy is an emotional coach. You can just tell by the way he, you know, play calling and also press conferences.

He's very emotional. So I think what's what happened here was he was forced to basically start Mitch to start the year and was essentially saying like, I'm just going to wait till it's it's bad and truly bad. And that pick he threw where he just didn't realize that Atlanta was in zone. He's like, all right, that's it. Big Dick, Nick, he throws a catchable ball

and he's fucking he's just like the he has so much composure. And I don't I don't know what the fuck he was doing with that visor, by the way. Oh, I love the visor, but he couldn't see why. So this tells me that he was not he was not expecting to play today, because he stepped on the field looking like a moon man. It was like it was the swaggiest frost advisor that did not match up with Nick. There's nothing about Nick Foles that says I should be wearing a reflective visor. It's like so out of place for him that it looked all.

It was like when Ben Rautelsberger wore the fedora, right? His postgame press conference. It's like nothing here. Nothing here matches up with the style of play. Right. But he. But so the advisor, someone, the visor, someone tweeted at me. And it's it's so perfect. When you create a player in Madden or college football, you always put on a visor.

Yeah, like this looks cool. But practically speaking, when your quarterback needs to see that's probably doesn't work. So he took he popped it off. He was incredible down the stretch. And yeah, it's the Falcons. So the Falcons now a little stat this came from Josh Dubo, Dubo AP Falcons are the first team since 2000 to lose two games in one season when leading by 15 points in the fourth quarter.

They've now done it in back to back games and it's fucking week three. Mm hmm. Yeah. Week three. And they've done it. They will credit it to Dan Quinn, who after the game said that this is on me. This falls on me in all spaces. So he's going to take a long look in the mirror. Dan Quinn is addicted to looking himself in the mirror. I think he's a narcissist.

I think I think Dan Quinn, he likes taking all the responsibility for it, staring at himself in the mirror and be like, this is on you, Dan. This is on nobody else but you is your fault. I don't even feel like I feel bad for Matt Ryan, too, because essentially that like the defense, the Falcons events is so comically bad. But Matt Ryan, if they punt more than three possessions in a row, they're going to give up an inner like they're going to give up a 15 point lead. Yeah, that's how it happened.

I mean, he did throw a pick, but they just punted a few times and it was like, oh, OK, now the Bears are back. Yeah, I've got a theory for you. What about this? What if what if Mitch started every game, but then Nick Foles comes in? Because we know Nick Foles, he does best when he's in a backup role. Right. When he's like a surprise, Nick Foles is better than a starting Nick Foles. What if Mitch comes in?

He runs those 12 plays that are scripted and then Nick Foles comes in to close out. It's like four play. You get your quarterback that loves to kiss titties, gets them all warmed up. And then Nick Foles comes in, slinging the hammer and just finishes the completion. OK, so I have a better idea because I obviously you can't do that. But I well, you can't do my idea either. But Tariq Cohen towards ACL. Yeah, it sucks.

Mitch led the team in rushing today. OK, well, I just haven't been a running back. Why not? And he could every now and then throw it. He could be your Taysome Hill. Yes, let him just be a running back. Then you then I won't feel guilty about, you know, watching Mitch be on the sideline and be like, that sucks for him. We could put him in the offense.

Matt Nagy, you can have someone you can blame because, you know, you want to. So it works all around. Have Mitch be a running back. And we Nick Foles would be the quarterback and everything will work. That would be actually a really excellent Wildcat offense. Yes, yes, I guarantee that Mitch is a better passer than 95 percent of the running backs in the NFL. Easily, yeah, he now becomes the most elite dual threat running.

Taysome Hill, Taysome Hill, Mitch, Taysome Hill, conversation that we have in 1A. Yeah, we'll have to have a conversation about that. So I I'm very excited about the Bears being three. You know, I'm also the the meatball side of me is like Nick Foles is incredible. The defense is starting to play. Akeem Hicks was Akeem Hicks doesn't get enough credit because Clio Max on that defensive line, but he was fucking awesome.

He is an absolute beast. So I'm thinking to myself, the Bears are really good. This is actually like seven teams make the playoffs. They're going to make a run. Nick Foles, he won a Super Bowl. You know, this could be anything that can happen. I mean, your season model at this point is like Nick Foles. I guess we're doing this. And I'm not going to apologize for being three.

No, people want me to apologize for being three. No, I am not going to apologize for being three. No, the realist side of me, the realist, you know, I go to bed at night and I'm sitting there and I'm thinking like the Bears actually good. I have a staff that is shows that it might, it might fall apart. So I got my guard up. So football perspective to ease out. Bears have been outscored by 19 points through three quarters.

That's the worst point differential by a three and O team ever. Okay. Through three quarters. I don't see a problem with that. The last two teams that had that record being, you know, the worst point differential and being three and O, the Falcons in 2015, they finished eight and eight. And then the 96 Vikings, they finished nine and seven.

These are the new look bears, though. They've got Nick knows out there. I, I get it. I understand that this could fall apart very quickly. Stats are for losers. And, and, and things are probably not exactly what they seem. But again, when it comes to just being a fan of a team, you can't apologize for winning games.

And if it means that I get to watch meaningful football for a little bit later in the calendar year, I don't give a fuck how they win the game. You're going to have people start calling you fool's gold. That's that actually stings the worst. But you know what? If you don't know that it's fake, it still looks good. Yep. And still, if you give Nick Zirconi, if you give a fake piece of jewelry

as a gift, they're only going to hate it once they realize it's fake. Yeah, we're not going to the appraiser. Yeah, we're just fucking hanging out. Exactly. Don't don't bring your jeweler friend over. So no, don't rub it against your skin. You'll get a hive. Meatball brain, three O bears are back.

Realistic brain. I got my guard up like be be ready, dude, because things could fall apart quickly to the Falcons fans out there again. I'm sorry. I don't know how Falcons fans listen to podcasts on Mondays. Because I don't know how they live. Yeah, especially Monday and Tuesday of every week. I don't know how you get out of bed, get ready for work, have a conversation.

God help you if there's a water cooler in your office that you have to stand next to in the one guy knows that you're a Falcons fan and brings it up. I think they're just numb to it, though. I think at this point like this is so this one was so comically like here we go again that I don't think I don't think it cannot bother them anymore because at some point you have to become numb to it. You have to have a callus to it and say to yourself whenever we're ahead, we're going to lose. Yeah, yeah, you have to make that joke before anybody else.

Like when you get out to a seven point lead, if you fall behind by 14 early next week, just be like, well, we can't blow this lead. Right. That's actually probably the right idea if you're a Falcons fan. Just hope that your team gets outscored by a shitload in the first half. And then you get to be the one scoring all the points of the second. Oh, they go to Lambo next week. Oh, that's going to be tough.

The Packers are going to put up 70. Do you think if you were to make the profit over to Falcons fans? Like if you could go, we could renounce your Falcons fandom. You would have no knowledge of ever being a Falcons fan or any of the hurt that you've suffered. All you have to do is go to Leavenworth for a year and a half. The same same sentence that Mike Vic had. I don't know. I think they and you emerge in your know, because maybe maybe come out in your

Patriots fan, maybe come out in your Packers fan, because Falcons fans have Georgia football, too, which they looked awesome against Arkansas. Yeah, Georgia football clutch performers. They've never given up a lead also fucked. They need to switch. They need to give you the Falcons, Georgia's defense and Georgia Falcons offense. Or I mean, you at least have the Braves. They're really good.

Oh, man, I'm sorry, Atlanta. So yeah, three and oh, three and oh, three and oh, I'm very excited. Three and oh is three and oh, I'm not going to fuck. I'm going to have so many tweets. I already see him coming. Bears are frauds, bears are frauds, they're fraudulent. Like, you know, they suck. I don't care.

I'm not going to. I officially will not apologize for being three and oh, that is my statement. OK, Washington football team Browns. Yep. So Dwayne Haskins looks not great. That's putting it nicely. He looks not great. He got tackled by his underwear again today. Three three interceptions.

They need to just make all the undershirts and jockstraps tear away like a lizard's tail so that when Dwayne Haskins gets it, it's for some reason like hangs down below the had that. Yeah, I know. When you get tackled by that and Miles Garrett had it and pulled on it. And I think it went out like six or seven yards. You know, they say like your intestines, if you stretch them out into and could go around the world three times like that's Dwayne Dwayne

Haskins undershirt could stretch back and forth across the length of a football field at least five times. Yeah, you got you can't be giving them something extra to bring you down. But yeah, Dwayne Haskins. That's that's a tough one. That's a head scratch. You think you got the real story here is the Browns. They're above 500 for the first time since 2014.

So let's focus on the positive. OK, the Browns have they the Browns have an offensive identity. It's just whether or not they're going to stick with it. Like that's the question. They actually have the formula in Nick Chubb and Kareem Hunt. They have the two best running backs. They're the best backfield in the NFL. It's incredible when they can run the football and they start pounding the ball

like they could put teams away. They they should be doing what the Ravens do where that, you know, when the Ravens start going downhill and just running and running and running. And then they'll throw in a couple passes. I don't know if they'll stick with it because it felt like in this game, they even showed that we're like the first half they kind of weren't. And then they're like, oh, wait, we have these awesome guys because it's it's got to suck when you have a the number one pick overall

in the quarterback, O'Dell Beckham and Jarvis Landry. So you're sitting there like, we got to throw the ball. No, you don't just run. Yeah, just run the ball. O'Dell Beckham somehow has the same stat line every game, which is like five catches for 59 yards and no touchdown. Right. And yeah. And so you look at that and you're like, wow, they're really not using your offense.

Well, well, guess what? They still have Kareem Hunt that is as good of a receiver as any running back. That catch he made to like save the the first down to get that first down. But I so the only other thing I had about the Washington football team. Ron Rivera has just given up the last two weeks. What's up with this? He doesn't like calling timeouts. So the last two weeks, the Browns have been with or the Washington timeouts

in life been within two scores, and he just refuses to call his timeouts. And he's just like, game over. We've had enough. Thank you. I think he knows that he's going to put Dwayne in and Dwayne will throw another intercept. And you know what? The backbreaking interception, if you leave the field on an interception, somehow that carries over more to the next week or to the next practice.

So so Ron's like, you know what? He threw his last interception with five minutes left. Good enough for me. Let's not burn these. Yeah, I'm just waiting for, you know what? That is actually now we figured it out. They don't play each other. Shit. I was going to say the Falcons need to play the Washington football team because when they're down 15 with 10 minutes left,

Ron Rivera just gives up and the Falcons can't blow the lead. Exactly. They would be the perfect. There would be the perfect medicine, really. Yeah, they don't play each other. Shit. That's exactly what they need. Have you noticed that that Baker is looking a little chunker? No, like in a good way. You mean he's put on power like he's thick?

Yeah, like he's got like a like strong base. He's got strong legs and stomach. Yeah. And neck. I mean, you live in Cleveland, dude. You can't be in shape if you live in Cleveland. No offense. All the famous, the famous cuisine of of horse shit. You just can't. I mean, Buffalo Wild Wings. There's too much, you know, it just gets too cold. Yeah, it's just too sad.

That's the truth. You're there's a few months of the year where, you know, you can be in shape. You know what it is. And the rest of the year you throw on your Ohio State jersey and some jeans and some Timberlands and you're like, I'm strong and powerful. This is in fact, you don't want to be skinny in the wind. And in a windy city like that, you'll get blown away. But I think what I'm doing is in my head, I'm conflating the Baker

that I see on the field with the Baker that I see in the 900 commercials of Hulu that play where he's in the other person's body and he looks like he's 140 pounds. Yes. That's what I'm OK. So Baker might not be he might not be as chunk as I presume, but he's definitely heavier than the skinny guy that they have playing. Yeah, let's hold on. We won't call him chunk yet.

We won't call him chunk just yet, but I'll start monitoring. Yeah, just keep it. I don't even think it's a bad chunk. I think I think he looks good with a little meat on his bones. Yeah. Oh, yeah. All right. Before we do the next game, a quick word from body armor. We're drinking body armor right now. Summer's over, but football is finally back in the best way to stay hydrated. All season long is with our favorite sports drink.

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with all the things you need to keep you hydrated during the summer months and taste great. Learn more at DrinkBodyArmor.com or order any of their flavors on Amazon right now. DrinkBodyArmor.com. Get that strawberry banana. Tell them Big Cat sent you. I don't know who you'd tell, but just do that. You always feel like, you know, kind of special when you're like, yeah, say it to the community.

Yeah. Yeah. OK, cool. All right. Next up, Titans Vikings. This was the red zone game where it was like, oh, the Vikings are going to finally get their first win. And then they flash it again. And I was like, wait, the Vikings are down and it happened that fast. It was 24 12 with halfway through the third quarter. And then the fourth quarter started and the Titans were winning.

And I was like, OK, what's going on here? Well, it's crazy, too, because there's a high score in games. So you'd assume that we get a lot of live look ins at this game. But we didn't. We didn't at all. It just it switched over and Cal Rudolph was making amazing touchdown catches and Kirk Cousins was throwing bone headed, like 25 yard passes that were almost getting intercepted every time. Yes, it just happened. This game just happened.

Yeah, it just happened. The big story for the Vikings offense, you lost digs over the offseason. But Justin Jefferson looks really good. And Dalvin Cook is awesome. Justin Jefferson had maybe the coolest touchdown celebration of the year so far. What he did like the little LSU skip and shout. I'm sure it has a name,

but I'm not cool enough for them to tell me what the name is yet. But he did like a little skip and then he shouted, then he skipped, then he shouted. Oh, that's pretty cool. Yeah, he had a hundred seventy five yards and Dalvin Cook was awesome. That that's what I remember. What G R I D D Y D greedy, gritty, gritty, gritty. Yeah, he's gritty. I like I love it. So yeah, they do have a guy there.

They're 0 and 3 and they're terrible. Yep. And the Titans, I don't know what the Titans are, because they are now 0 and 3 against the spread. And it feels like they've been playing some pretty bad teams in the Broncos and the Vikings, who they play last week. They played who they beat. Who they beat last week. They beat someone by very small of the Jaguars.

They barely beat the Jaguars. So the Viking or the Titans. Are they good? Are we sure they're good? Well, they have a kicker now. Gustavsky is back. Hall of Famer, Hall of Famer. He needed a week to shake the rust off a little bit. And what do you have like four field goals today?

Six for six, six for six, fifty five yarder to win it. Yeah. How does I mean credit to Mike Vrabel, because I think last season, Mike Vrabel would have assassinated Gustavsky after the money, like left him on the field, buried him underneath the field even after a win. I don't think he even tried a field goal in the last what, four or five games of the season. Now he's kicking six field goals a game with Gustavsky. It's crazy, especially after that Monday night game.

But yeah, the I think the Titans are good. But again, if they're really good, I. So yeah, let me say this. I think the Titans are good. I don't know if I don't think they're really good, because if they're really good, one of these three games, they should have kicked the shit out of this team. We got today, our first sneak peek, just a little bit, a Cito. We got a Cito of tractor Cito today. Yes.

So we was. It's it's it's going to happen again. Those two tribes in the third quarter, they were like, let's just give it to Derek Henry and he he did his thing. Yeah. Usually it's like late October. That's when that's when the tractor comes alive. That's when you put the gas in the tank. But we got a little taste today and he looks just as awesome as he does. Yes, he does. And today, Vian Clowney,

who knew that guy was, you know, that that illegal hit he had on the interception which is that's got to be the most demoralizing penalty, by the way. The illegal hit are the like the block in the back that isn't needed. That negates a pick six and then they punted. And and you're apparently never allowed to hit a quarterback. I think that you should actually get bonus. It depends on who the quarterback is. But if it's Kirk Cousins, how can you tell somebody not to block her customs?

Right. He looks so blocked. Right. I agree. It looks like just taking a swan dive into a big swimming pool filled with like down pillows. So blockable. All right. Next up, Raiders Patriots. Gruden's thong mask was awesome. Yeah, he got that from Spearman Rhino. Yeah, he was he was it looked like he chewed through his mask. It was half on half off.

But this was I don't want to I'm a terrible gambler and I'm terrible at predicting games. But this was one of the most predictable games when you have the Patriots off a loss and the Raiders off a huge Monday night win having to go all the way east coast. And we joked about it on Friday. But we I think we said the exact joke of Bill Belichick's chewing through his sweater, watching every snap that Darren Waller's had his entire life and going to shut him down. Yes. And then Darren Waller had two catches for nine yards.

Belichick took away Darren Waller and his entire game plan seemed to be like no Darren Waller. But we're going to let you pass the ball to Hunter Renfrow as much as you want. I want to get a good glimpse of him so I can scout him out when he hits a free agency in like two years, because I want to pick this motherfucker up. Yes, we're going to we're going to pick him up. But he the Patriots, the scary thing about the Patriots is that they just change. They morph every single week now that, you know, week one, they ran. Week two, they passed.

Week three, they ran again. And I don't know when you have Cam Newton and you can just be like, all right, this week we're just going to play bully ball. Oh, next week we're going to throw the ball. That's the scary thing. I think it has a lot to do with Jules. So like if you if you have a game where Julian Edelman gets 120 yards, he's probably going to get hit like nine times and have three concussions.

So he needs a week to kind of take take a little break. And those are the running weeks that he's going to have. But then he blocks. But then he blocks. He's a fucking awesome block. Then he goes out there. Yeah, Cam did have one of my favorite things that Cam does when he throws an interception, when he scrambles out and then throws in a triple coverage, but he throws it so goddamn hard that you don't even realize it was intercepted because it like sticks to the defender.

I always will have a soft spot for quarterbacks. Maybe it's the inner Jay Cutler in me. But the the quarterback that sees a guy in triple coverage is like, oh, I can get it in there. Yeah. Like I will throw this through a defender. Well, you never works out, but I love that. You had Jay. And then before you had Jay, you had Rex Grossman. He was a king of that.

Just like I'm going to throw it as hard as I possibly can. And it's going to work. And then it doesn't. Yeah, if he's covered by three guys, he's not covered by one. They don't know which who has the responsibility of man coverage. Fun stat. John Gruden has never beaten Bill Belichick. Wow. Ever. So Belichick, you know, that pisses him off.

Oh, definitely. Gruden will get pissed off about anything, even if he wins by like 30 points. He'll find a reason to be to be mad. But yeah, you know that he's like, he's going to go back to his little coaches layer with all the VHS tapes that he has. Yes. And just he might even just try to break in to to the Patriots practice facility this week, go in disguise, cut what's left of his hair into like a Steve Belichick type mullet

and just pretend like he's on the coaching staff to figure out what he knows. That I don't know. So the Raiders are not they're good ish, but they have a really bad schedule coming up. So I think this could be they have the bills at the chiefs and then the box. Yeah, those could all be losses. And we could be sitting here saying the bills or the Raiders are now two and four, and it doesn't look like the promising season

that we all thought it was going to be. I think even after that, they might have one or two more tough games. Well, they do have the Broncos twice in the Jets and the Dolphins. So they have a softer schedule at the end. So maybe that was is what we'll get from the Raiders this year. They'll be yet again, the team to finish strong and everybody like he's building something. The Raiders are going to be in the hunt for sure. Yeah, at the very end of it.

That's what I love about the ties to we'll get to that. But having having the tie in that like extra column shows up in the in the hunt graphic and it screws up all your projections. I think the ties are going to come in handy in the NFC East. That thing is going to be like the NFC Beast. Well, I should say, let's throw this out there. I forgot to mention this when we were talking about the Washington football team. They are in first place in the NFC East right now.

Still still and still the reigning champion. Wow, the beast is back, baby. Wow. Six and ten gets you in. So so let's go to the NFC East. We have the 49ers of Giants. I may have to. I may have to no longer say that I think Daniel Jones is good. Thank you. Thank you.

I was I was going to ask you about he's not good. He's not good. He just turns the ball over. This is this is what it's become right now. It's like, who would you rather have? If you say if I were to say to you, Daniel Jones stinks and your Giants fan, your reaction is going to be, well, who would you rather have? Daniel Jones or Sam Darnold? And it's like, well, I wouldn't want either of them.

I would rather not shit for a week or have burning diarrhea. I would rather have Daniel Jones still. So he's obviously not shit because he hasn't he's played less. That's the only that's basically the tiebreaker is. But he so in 15 out of 16, Daniel Jones starts. He has had a turnover and in 11 of the 16, he's had two turnovers. He has 36 turnovers in or 35 turnovers and 16 games. That is I actually think he's elite at turning the ball over.

So I'm back on down, Joe. OK, there you go. I like it. He you know what? You've got to take risks. And sometimes a risk is just dropping the ball for the other team to pick it up. Yeah, I don't know if he takes risks, though. I think no, he doesn't. He's dropped the biggest risk that he takes is he doesn't pass the ball.

The biggest risk he takes is he doesn't take a risk. Yes. And he hangs on to the ball too long and then gets strip sack. So the Joe judge, Joe judge. Could you pick Joe, Joe, Joe have a lineup right now? I could because I watched this clip. And you got a problem, Giants, you got a problem. You got a big problem because I watched afterwards after the post game that Joe judge did and he did two things that are big red flags.

One, he just kept on talking about how New York is a blue collar area and he wants to represent, he wants to get his like hard hat back on and go and go back to work and and make the blue collar families that root for this team proud. And I was like, wait, that sounds familiar. That's literally what he said in his introductory press conference. That's not good that he is already recycling. He's run out of cliches because the introductory press conference

is your best material. Yeah, that is your A1 material. He's in week three, oh, and three. And he's already back to his A1 because he's run out of everything else. So he literally said, I like blue collar. I want us to be a blue collar football team. It's a blue collar area. I'm going to make this blue collar area proud.

What? Who cares what? Like that is so stupid. He's just he has to get better cliches. He's he's new as being a head coach. When you when you run out of cliches, you got to dig deep. You got to circle the wagons. You got to look at yourself in there. And at the end of the day, you got to come stronger.

You go home. Blue collar. So and then he also referred to the Giants as we're going to turn this program around. Which made me realize like, Joe, judge, you should have been a college coach. This is not going to work out. Like, you know the type of guys who are just built for college football. Like, close your eyes. Could PJ Fleck be coaching in the NFL? Probably not.

He's a great college football coach because he can get the guys going. Like, there are certain guys that you see them. They're like, that's a college football coach. Davos Sweeney, I don't think a coach in the NFL. He just the way he's able to recruit and get, you know, young guys pumped up and all that. It doesn't fly the same way. You have to have a little bit of cult leader in you to be a really successful college coach and you don't necessarily have to have that in the NFL.

Right. So he's talking about the program. He's talking about blue collar. And I'm like, this guy should be the coach of fucking Western Michigan or, you know, Miami, Ohio. Like, and then he'll get a job at Illinois or, you know, Purdue. And he'll make a nice, have a nice living, but this might be a little too big for Joe. Yeah, he's in over his head a little bit. Just when I was watching this game, I was just looking at the jerseys

and looking at the teams and saying that if any, you could take any team in the NFL right now and put them in either jets or giants gear or just dress them up in blue or green. And I guarantee they would lose by the same amount as they do as the jets and giants. Are you taking it? You could take the Raiders, put the Raiders in that big blue, John Gruden coach them, put them in the metal lands, playing against the 49ers. And they would still lose by the exact same margin. It's the culture. It's the program culture. Yeah, they got to change.

They got to change the program. They got to change the carpet first. The Giants in the first half had the ball for seven minutes and 34 seconds. That's almost impossible. How many turnovers did Daniel Jones have in that first half? I don't know how many had in the first half, but they had the ball for 20 minutes total for the game. That's insane. OK, so, Joe, judge, listen to me. Here's what you do.

You have to reestablish the run. You have to recommit yourself from the football. Yeah, it doesn't matter. Oh, that dude, establishing the run has nothing to do with the fact with establishing the run well. So you can just say, like, we need to get back to to basic football here. We need to smash the other guy in the mouth, win in the trenches and just say that. And then be like, we're going to run the ball 30 times next game. And they also signed shout out to our guy, Clem,

because he got in a fight with the like analytics Twitter and the nerds on Twitter, football nerds, because they signed Devonte Freeman and he took the number 31. And he was like, that's not a fast number. We're fucked. Yeah. And I agree. Oh, it's a fact. Yeah. Like you got to be a 28, 24, maybe. 32 is fine. 32. Yeah. 34, 38. Now you're slow again, but there are fast numbers. 39, you're fast again. 39, you're fast and shifty.

Yep. 40, 40, you're good. And you got you can square your shoulders up or you get past protection. 31, not so much. So 31. That's a that's a safety number. Yes. Yes. That's Adam Archuleta. That's who I think of. You might not have ever worn 31, but he was a 31. I have one more stat for you in this.

I'm sorry, Giants fans. This probably sucks so much. But, man, you guys are bad. The Giants since the boat picture. They're 12 and 40. So I think they have to burn a boat. I think I think they have to create. They have to make a Titanic and sink it.

They have to give themselves a Viking funeral. Yes. Do you guys play the Vikings? I don't know. Let's see. 12 and 40. If you play the Vikings this year, they need to burn a. Yes. Burn, burn a goddamn boat. Let's burn a boat and be done with it. They do not. That's too bad. Maybe in the wild card round.

Oh, it's the pirate ship, but it's in New York. What happened? They play the bucks and they have the pirate ship. True. But it's in New York. Oh, it's in New York. Well, that doesn't matter. Just sneak down to Tampa and light that boat on fire. No, just lose to the bucks.

Okay. And that will make you better. That was Daniel Jones' coming out party last year. That's true. That's true. Do you play against Blake Bortles? Try to douse him in gasoline through a match? They don't play the Jets, I don't think, no.

Yeah, that's. I have one more stat, but I'm keeping it for the Jets. Jets Giants combo stat. I'm done making fun of the Giants. I'm sorry, Giants fans. I have a big time, you think. Jordan Reed got injured today. Yeah, sticky turf.

Yeah, sticky turf. They should never have let Jordan Reed play on that field. It's like fertilizer and fireworks can put together. There was no way that was going to end well. He also was wearing the custom cleats and those. I can't remember who I was sitting with. It might have been Nick said it, but it was so spot on. Whenever. Oh, no, it was our guy Chuck.

Whenever they make custom cleats, so he's wearing Jordan one cleats. Like they look like sneakers. You'll always turn your ankle in that. You can't do that. You can't have the custom cleats. Like I always assume whenever a guy is wearing cleats that are a little too swagged out,

they they they use too much time on making the cleat pretty and not sturdy. I like that, even though they probably they probably spray painted after the fact. No, no, they were modified shoes. So they were actually basketball shoes that they like put cleats on the bottom of. That's always going to get you injured, dude.

Yeah, you have no one to blame yourself. They look like my shoes, but red with cleats on them. I don't know. I just never thought he should have played on that turf. Yeah, just put Jordan Reed in a dome. Like not I'm not saying like put him in a dome stadium. I mean, like build a bubble around Jordan Reed. He should just never be bubble boy.

Yeah. By the way, Kyle Shanahan, he now is the QB whisperer because Nick Bones was awesome. And I like Nick Mullins. I do too. He listens to the show. You remember a couple of years ago when he came in and Brett Favre called him on Thursday night football

after the game? Yes. That was the game where I think it was originally going to be CJ Bethard that was playing. Yes. And I'm like, gosh, we have to bet on CJ Bethard tonight. Nick Mullins comes in wild card. I always I'll always have a very special place in my heart

for a quarterback that entertains me on a night that I'm not expecting to be entertained. Yes. Yeah, it's the fuck. Case Kenan. Yeah. The case Kenan game where Gruden just came his pants all night called him a ninja.

Yeah, Josh Freeman. Yeah. When he had like three days practicing with the Vikings and came in through nine interceptions. Yes. The opposite of whatever Jason Campbell did whenever he came in. All the time.

Yeah. The Jason Campbell is the inverse of everything we just said. Yes. So Kyle Shanahan's unbelievable coach and Nick Mullins. Shout out Nick Mullins. OK. Bengals, Eagles, Ty. Wait, wait.

Do you think that there could be a quarterback controversy in San Francisco? No. But I do think that Kyle Shanahan could get to the playoffs with pretty much anyone. I think that Nick Mullins does nine. 80% of what Jimmy does. Yeah.

No knock on Jimmy. No knock on him. I think Kyle Shanahan is one of those coaches that he can coach anyone up. And they probably would tell you that. You know what I mean? Like Nick Mullins would probably tell you that. And you know what?

It's great. If you're Nick Mullins, that's a great place to be in because you have games like this and you can stay in the league for a decade and have a really nice career. If you have, you know, if you if you brush shoulders with a great coach. Or the better idea would be just to be his backup, like be his guy.

So I offered to drive him back and forth from from the practice facility to his house. Kyle Shanahan, you say. Kyle Shanahan. Yeah. Date. Well, I was going to say date his daughter, but Kyle Shanahan is probably not old enough to have a daughter

that's datable unless you're Mark Sanchez. But I think that you need to just like get as close as you can with Kyle, become his system guy. And that way, wherever he goes, boom, you're my backup. You know the system. I love it. So Nick Mullins, you have a bright career and you played great. Bengals Eagles tie.

Doug Peterson wrote a book and the title of that book is fearless. And then Doug Peterson punted the ball with 15 seconds left to accept a tie. I don't have a problem with a punt because that would have been a 64 yard field goal. So you still got to fucking try to win the game. But if you missed the field goal,

there's a very good chance that you lose the game. Fat Randy is going to kick a 64 yarder. No, let me tell you about how yard markers work. So the kick would have been taken from the 46 yard line. And that's where they would have gotten the ball. Joe Burrow would have had to get 15 yards. And you think Fat Randy would have done it? Dude, Fat Randy has been on a tear.

It's still ridiculous. Fat Randy has not missed. So he was playing for the tie, though, before that, too. Yeah, so that's what I'm saying. They were running the ball up the middle with a minute and a half left. That's an issue. I agree with you on that.

That was some chicken shit. I still think they should kick the field goal. I mean, Ellie, it's a really good kicker. If you can kick it from 59, I think he could have made it. I just hate the idea of being like, you know what? Let's just tie. At least try. I'd rather lose than tie.

I mean, I really would. I would say Joe Burrow, he did say that it's not a win. It's not a loss. Well, he said, no, I'm going to count this as a loss because it wasn't a win, which is like Trent Duffer-like and the way they says it. But I understand exactly what he's saying. You want to win, right?

You want what did Herm Edwards say? Sorry, hello. Yeah, play to win the game. I'm the head coach of Arizona State. Yeah, you play to win the game and the Eagles definitely didn't do that. I would say that the Bengals won the tie. When there's a tie, one team should get.

I don't know. The fourth quarter is letting Carson Wentz look. He's not good anymore. I don't know what happened to him. Every pass that Carson Wentz throws, I assume, is going to be an interception. And he had that drive. He went 75 yards in the fourth quarter.

I just don't know. Your season is already a dumpster fire. You're 0-2. You look terrible. Just kick the field goal. I actually think he would have made it. I really do. I don't know.

Maybe that's crazy. But he was fucking nailing kicks earlier. Yeah. And he has kicked. Didn't he kick like a 60-yard winner with some room to spare last year with that of Jake? I don't have a problem with punting the ball at the end of overtime.

But I do have a problem with the play calls that led up to the punt. He was very obviously kind of playing for the tie before it came time to decide if he was going to play for the tie. So gross. He was very happy to accept the tie. And I think, yeah, if I'm handing it out as a win or a lost

tie, I would say it's like, at the end of the season, if one team is 9-6 and 1, the Bengals would get the 9-6 and 1.1. And then the other teams should get 0.9 on their tie. The other teams, you mean 9th? These teams stink. What did he hit? His rookie year is 61 yards to beat the random. I mean, and he had leg with me.

I'm pretty sure that he did it. It wasn't like just hit the crossbar. Tell me how many yards he could have hit it from. So I just, I don't know. I think it's a crazy thing to punt there. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He had more than enough.

He had more than enough. That's a really good kicker. Yeah, he had like nine yards easily. And OK, so if you're saying don't kick the field goal, which I disagree with, but that's fine, at least so it's what were they at fourth and sixth? The Bengals have no timeouts. I don't know, run a screen or something.

Get the clock moving, maybe get a couple more yards because then you don't have what you're saying. Yeah, the ball is spotted differently. The Bengals have no timeouts. Try to get a first down. I guess then the time expires. I just hated how Doug Peterson, that entire end of the game was so fucking stupid.

He was all too happy to accept the time that that over time. And you know what, the entire second half of that game and over time felt like it was three games long. It just took forever. Oh, and it had tie. It just smelled like a tie. The minute they kicked off overtime. So if you think you're having deja vu, it's probably

because the Bengals and the Eagles have tied before 12 years ago, the famous down to a McNabb game. I went back and I looked. I forgot how bad his quote was. Do you remember how bad his quote was? Because I thought in my memory, I was like, down to McNabb just didn't realize there were ties in the regular season, whatever.

Oh, it was way worse. He who said afterwards after the game, after the Bengals and Eagles tied in 2008. I never even knew that was in the real rule book. It's part of the rules and we have to go with it. I was looking forward to the next opportunity to get out there and try to win this game. I hate to see what happens in the Super Bowl

and I hate to see what happens in the playoffs to settle with a tie. Donovan McNabb thought that if you tied in the Super Bowl and played a 15 minute overtime, they would just tie the Super Bowl. I wish nobody had told him that because he probably would not have thrown up on the field in the fourth quarter

if he thought that there was a possibility of a tie. Donovan McNabb thought that if you're in the playoffs and you tie, you just tie. I can't, incredible. I had no recollection that it was that bad. But that is so fucking good. I mean, just putting the Eagles in the Bengals, that just feels like a tie.

Like other teams I would expect, just putting my finger in the wind and being like, okay, yeah, this feels like a tie matchup to me. It would be like Bengals Panthers too, would feel like a tie. Jets Bengals. Yeah, they have high energy. Jets Bengals.

Yeah, they have high energy. Big tie energy. Right, exactly. Any soccer game also feels like, the Bengals, I would not be shocked if they tied more than one game. Actually, this is pretty impressive. Mike Tanya, he predicted this game.

He does predictions every single week on every game. He predicted Eagles 22, Bengals 22. That's hilarious. He called a tie. He was off by one point for both games. That's amazing. So Carson Wentz is broken. I don't know what it is.

I don't know. Colin Coward broke him with all the hat. All the hat talk. He's like, let me be professional and strap on a tie for you. I don't know if his receivers aren't getting open. I know his offensive line sucks, but he also feels like a lot of this is on Carson Wentz.

And then the other side, Joe Burrow, this is permission to be a meathead. Granted. Joe Burrow has gotten the absolute shit kicked out of him. Like that hit that he took was fucking severe. He got sacked eight times. He's been pressured more than any quarterback in the NFL this year.

Getting up and getting back in that game and like leading your team, that gets you points in that locker room. And like he becomes, like that is part of being a franchise quarterback is taking those hits and getting back up. And I again, permission to be a meatball, just being a man about it.

Like that was impressive. The toughness that he showed and how much he's been getting the shit kicked out of him. I think like everyone in that locker room is gonna have his back for life. Yeah, he skipped right past the poise phase. Every rookie quarterback typically has a poise phase where they look,

all you have to do is just not shit yourself in a certain moment and complete like an easy pass. You have poise. He skipped poise. He went straight to Moxie. He's getting fucking killed. He skipped game manager and he went straight to that dude.

Yes. He is that dude with Moxie, Joe Burr. He is that dude. He's big time. I like saying that about somebody. He's that guy. He's that dude. He's your guy.

But I was very impressed. I mean, obviously I knew he was tough, but that hit was, and then the last coach, the last chance you coached, like thought we were serious, but Twitter account was serious. He basically called us out.

Did you see that? Yeah. He was cause- Wait, which coach? I don't know. He said whatever. He has a podcast called Slapdick. Which fact?

Oh yeah. Which makes sense. I know exactly which one. So we tweeted kick this guy out of the league for the hit on Joe Burrow. Obviously joking, cause Joe Burrow's our guy. And he was like,

this is bullshit. You guys are pussies. Like this is football. Jesus Christ. Like I was hard though. Yeah, just relax. Okay. But I kind of like,

I like it because I, if I remember he was using a lot of capital, like all caps words, which that means you don't know how Twitter works, but you're entertaining on Twitter. Yeah. Oh, you mean he like tweets in all caps? Yeah.

Yeah. Good for him. Actually he's probably a guy that just has caps lock stuck on his phone. Yes. And he doesn't know how to turn it off. Yes. Yes.

All right. So we have next up Texan Steelers, the Watt brothers. That was cool. They took a picture. Who cares? They all, all three of them tweeted it out too. Yeah.

There's gotta be like a rush to your phone to see who's gonna, and you know, I think JJ had it first. JJ got it first. I think he had it first. And then Derek waited till after the game. Well, he probably took it with JJ's phone.

That's true. Yeah. Well, our JJ control, JJ bought him that phone when he became multimillionaire and then he turns his data off whenever they're in a rush to get cloud. Yeah. And guess what?

TJ Watt is better than JJ now. Is he that dude? Yeah, he's that dude. I just, I mean, JJ was better in his prime. Yeah. So it's not, I'm not like shaming JJ, but TJ Watt's awesome.

Mm-hmm. What do you say? I found the tweet, but I had to scroll down because the most recent tweets he's been live tweeting the most recent episode of 90 day fiance, happily ever after. Okay.

Okay. That guy is psycho. We should get him on the podcast. No? Okay. We won't. Oh, the last chance you got? Yeah.

Yeah. We should get him on. We should just, I mean, you won't get it. We should interview him and then just not air it. Yeah. Just so that we can talk. Just so I don't know that.

I'm a Bilzerian. I don't know. He's definitely had legal problems. I remember we almost had him on it and you, like we didn't have him on, but I just looked at our DMs, or not even DMs, he DMed us in 2019 and said,

I've been cleared to speak regarding the show or my book, if you guys are interested. Wait, this isn't, this is the guy that got fired because he said, I'm going to be your Hitler. Oh.

Yeah. Okay. I didn't know that. Okay. Yeah. Bit of a loose cannon. Yeah. Slapdick is a great fucking name for a podcast.

I've been cleared. I'm actually shocked it was still around. Slapdickcigars.com. That sounds like the, Oh, hell yeah. Like Mount Rushmore. Yes. That guy, that's a man.

What was it? Like pussy, like. Oh yeah. Pussy print. Pussy print shirts. Yes. We did that Mount Rushmore of names that the Washington football team

were showing. Oh yeah. Slapdickcigar is a good one. Mill Fweed. Okay. Texans Steelers. I don't know. This game,

it kind of, it was, it was kind of boring because you're just like, the Texans got out to a big lead and then the Steelers like, yeah, we're better than you. Your offensive line is terrible. Deshaun Watson is gonna run around for his life.

And I didn't really learn anything that I didn't know about these two teams. The game played out almost exactly like I thought it would, which is the Texans got schedule fucked. That's number one. And so this was a game that if they were to win this, they would feel really good about themselves. But it felt like it was a little bit out of reach

the entire time. So the Steelers, they get to play their three and O. They get to play the Titans, the Eagles and the Browns. There's a good chance that they could go to six and O. Yeah. And so the Texans,

they are my pinky team. And I'll probably regret it in three weeks because the schedule, they're no longer schedule fucked. They're playing the Vikings, the Jaguars and the Titans. So they could, they could,

they could write this ship pretty quickly here. And they could be three and three very quickly. And I'll have to start thinking about my pinky. It would be very funny though, if the Texans just had to play nobody, but really excellent teams the entire season. Every single week. Every week they get.

They're like, what's wrong with the Texans? Let's see. They lost the Chiefs, the Ravens, the Steelers up next. They got the Patriots after that. They had the 49ers. After the 49ers, they have to take a trip to Seattle.

That'd be very funny. The Packers, just get, just have them get their ass kicked. And if they can go like, they can go six and 10 in that schedule. Then we'll give you the, the last playoff spot. Yeah, you get to be in the playoffs. And you can lose in the annual,

early Saturday wild card game. I love it. I love it. Okay. Next up, Jets Colts, Hyperdrive did not work. Hyperdrive. Well, no, actually.

We don't know that. Hold on. Let me, let me step back. The Jets Hyperdrive offense, Adam Gase's Hyperdrive offense, produced points a minute and a half into the game. Now it was a pick six, one of two that Sam Donald threw.

We have to give credit to Jim Ursay for that. Because he opened the window. And the sun was directly in Sam Donald. That was a nice little surprise. Like, usually Ursay puts that info out there on Thursday. But when you've got an elite team that's in Hyperdrive coming in, you want to spring on.

So he, he waited until Sunday morning to announce that he was gonna open up the roof for him. Hyperdrive though. So it did produce points right away. So credit to Hyperdrive. The Jets are so bad. I saw someone retweet this, but there was a moment in time

that the box score, it was, I was on a fantasy app. I think it was Yahoo Fantasy. Their third leading receiver, it actually said unknown player. Two catches for 35 yards. Who could that have been? Lawrence Kager?

That's a made up name. Probably Lawrence Kager or Kager? We should just make up names. Be like Jets Receiver or made up name? Lawrence Kager is like the first guy who's asked you kicked in Street Fighter. That's, it's insane how few guys they like. Yeah.

Guys that were guys are playing for them. These are all like opening round opponents and Mike Tyson's punch out. Yeah. So they, I, they have to like gut their entire Ross. Oh yeah, it's Lawrence Kager. Two, two catches for 35 yards. Lawrence Kager, Georgia.

Wow. So I don't, oh, my computer. Yeah. The Jets are really, really bad. The Jets stink. I'm going to say something nice about Adam Gase. He has the best mask discipline of any coach in the NFL. Yeah, because he doesn't want anyone to know his face.

Yes. His face mask that he wears. Must be anonymous. It goes up to, it covers his lower eyelashes. If he could coach in a God Fox mask, he would. Yes. It covers most, not all of his neck beard, cause he has a neck beard that probably connects to his pubes.

Yep. But it goes down like well beyond the Adam's apple. You were, that's probably why the Jets often stinks so bad because they can't understand a word that he's saying, but he's not spreading COVID around. Yes. That's, that's absolutely true. He's also not covering any other spreads.

So we talked about Matt Patricia last week, eating his losses. Yeah. Adam Gase is doing the skinny guy version, just growing grotesque facial hair. I know all about that. Yeah. It's, it's a, it's a sight to be seen.

Story of my life. So I think he just shits him out. I don't think that he eats his losses. I think that, I don't think that Adam Gase consumes food. I think maybe a smoothie every now and again. Pellets, rabbit pellets. Yeah. He shits out rabbit pellets in the shape of little L's.

They're like, almost like Cheerios. Instead of a little round O's, they're just L's. He seems like a guy who's just constantly has some almonds in his hands, some loose almonds. Yeah. He's never eaten in a meal. He's just got almonds in his hands. He's like, if you snack all day,

you'll never put it on any weight. But he just, he eats like two, but you've had, all you've eaten today is, is 300 almonds. He's one almond every like 30 minutes. And I'm never hungry. It's amazing. It's in a carrot. And like seven gallons of diet coke.

I still have not seen him smile or express joy. Nope. Nope. I don't think he can. I sometimes see him express what I think is confusion. Is he going to just give up, because I would give up if I were him. I wouldn't even try.

If I wouldn't even try to coach, I'd try to get fired. If Adam Gase didn't show up to a game, do you think anyone would notice? No. At this point, like you want to enjoy your fall. Yeah. Just get fired, dude. Right.

There's probably a buyout in place. Yeah, right. You'll probably get an offensive coordinator job somewhere. Like, fuck it. I'm sure Elway will bring you back to be an OC. Absolutely we'll get an offensive coordinator job, because he'll pull up that Peyton Manning year, the first year with the Broncos, and be like, see this?

No, that's what John Elway does, is he just, John Elway just does favors for people, even though he's in charge of building out a roster. If you played football with or against John Elway, at any point in your career, he will give your son a job on his staff, or on his roster. Yeah, so he's got a job for life.

So I promised you I had another Giants adjacent stat, so here it is. The Jets and Giants combined have 75 points. After Monday Night Football, what I assume will be a reasonably high scoring game, 19 teams will have more than the Jets and Giants combined. 78 points, 75 points combined. That's insane.

I'm shocked with all the points that have been scored this year. I would assume that every team in the NFL, like if you combine the New York Jets roster with the New York Giants roster right now, obviously Judge would be the head coach, I think. Right, because I feel like he would alpha Adam Gaze. Yeah, Adam Gaze, okay, Adam Gaze, we're firing you.

Joe Judge is now the coach of the New York Jetsons. Yes, the Jetsons. The Jetsons. Who's the quarterback? I think probably dual quarterback. Yeah, Daniel Darnold. Yeah, you get both of them in the backfield at the same time. You don't know who's gonna throw the interception.

That way, no, Sam Darnold, you have Sam Darnold basically spying Daniel Jones to pick up his fumbles. Okay, and then he throws interception, which is as good as a punt. That's a good result. He cleans up Daniel Jones' mess. Frank Gore, is your running back?

Sure. Sequin Barkley's hurt. Sequin Barkley's hurt. Your starting wide receiver is Braxton Berrios. Okay. I think that if you combine those two rosters, they would be equally as bad as they are now. That's how bad, that's how, like, it's remarkable

how evenly they spread out their lack of talent. Right, they can't, if they pooled everything, all their resources, they couldn't still win a football game. No. And so just to put it in even more perspective, the Packers, so the Jets have scored 37 points total, total in three games. The Packers have scored that or more in all three games.

Packers scored 43, 42, 37. That's so insane. They're playing two different sports. Yeah. What was the score of the Giants game, 36-9? It was 39, 36-9 and 36-7. No, 36-9 and 36-7. So the Giants are technically the better team in New York.

The Giants run this town. On a neutral field, who would be favored between the Jets and the Giants? Oh my God, I think the Giants, maybe? Yeah. Yeah, maybe, by like a point or two, I don't know. It's bad. And then, what's-

Look at you, if Sam Donald's on our TV right now, it looks like a hostage video. Both these guys look like hostage video. I saw our good friend, Mike Greenberg, amongst others tweeting out that Sam Donald does not deserve to be in the situation with the New York Jets that he's in. It's not good, but he's also part of the problem.

Yes. I am a big believer in where you get drafted and what organization you go to. So yes, I completely agree that in a different world, you can name any quarterback and be like, if they got put in, if John Harbaugh was their coach, Bill Belichick was their coach, if Pete Kerrow was their coach,

it would probably go different. But he also hasn't helped the situation either. I have a new exciting thing though for you, PFD, so about the Colts. Phillip Rivers had 400 touchdown, career touchdown today, looked really good, and I'm so excited, but we have the new Antonio Gates, Mo Alley Cox,

played at VCU, played, I think, in a bunch of tournaments, and I just, I really want him to be, like, catching touchdown passes so we can just keep saying, do you know he played at VCU? Yeah, and he's a big body, he's got, he's thick, he can jump up, he's got a great name too. Phillip Rivers loves to throw the ball just like 13 feet in the air in the end zone,

and he's like, if any one of you guys can jump high enough to get it, you deserve it. That's like his red zone offense. He's playing 500. He is playing 500, so Mo Alley Cox is the perfect, he's the perfect guy for that. He looked good though today. He did look good.

I mean, he's the Jets. Frank Reich looks great on the sidelines. He's adopting one of my favorite new looks on the sideline because every coach has to figure out how they're going to wear the mask and how it's gonna be like, they're trying to limit how much it gets in the way. And with Frank Reich, he just, he doesn't wear a hat,

but somehow he still has that heads-up display that Andy Reed wears in front of him. So he's got a visor, but I have no idea how it stays up there. It's very, yeah. He looks sleek. He looks futuristic. There's a drone that's hovering above him

that's just holding this sheet directly in front of his mouth at all times. But he looks good, it doesn't get in his way at all. I can't believe we have Bronco's Jets on Thursday. Blake is the only thing that can save him. It's the only thing. Or if Adam Gase does the anonymous mask or just dresses up like Danger Mouse.

This is gonna be a hell of a broadcast. I'm so excited to listen to Joe Bock trying to get his way through this. I mean, what do you do? That's so bad. How incredible would it be if it ended up being, you know, like a 40 to 40 tie? Yes, a shootout.

Oh, man. Listen, if Blake Bortles does play, and he might because they benched Jeff Griskell, if he goes out there and he throws three touchdowns, I think Blake is getting a big contract. Yes, yes, so that's what we're root for. All right, you gotta add PFT. And then we'll get back to the rest of the game,

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get 15% off. Just hopped on Twitter for a second while you read that ad. I just did one scroll through my mentions. Three different people saying the bears are frauds. Again, I'm not gonna apologize. I will not apologize. Do not expect an apology from me. Go fuck yourself, not apologize.

What about a sorry, not sorry? No, no sorry. You won't even apologize for not being sorry. Nope, so go fuck yourself. I know it's gonna end badly, but let me enjoy it for right now. Okay, Panthers Chargers. This is another game that didn't really happen.

Yeah. Joey Sly kicked five field goals. I love the name Joey Sly in his whole look. He looks like the heir to the BangBust franchise. Joey Sly is the guy that you knew always had solid mids in a pinch. Oh yeah. Joey Sly got the clutch.

Joey guy shows up in a Honda Civic SI. He's got a Fox Racing decal on the back. He's like, yeah, that'll be 44 and eighth. And then he'll hit on your girlfriend in front of you. Yeah. Like, are you single? Like, no, we're literally dating right now. It's like, well, if you ever wanna fuck.

And meanwhile, his girlfriend is right there with him. And she has, she's got to take her. She's got to take her. You're so funny, Joey. He's like, I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm just, I'm a masculine man. I can't control my urges. Yeah, he's definitely getting blowjobs for some swag.

I've noticed that there's a difference in the stadium when the Chargers are playing in LA versus when the Rams are playing. I can tell, I can tell, I can tell which team is playing in that stadium without even looking at the field. It's a total vibe. It's usually like a little sunnier,

more of an orange glow when the Chargers are playing. When the Rams are playing, it looks like it's in a dome. Okay, so I agree with you, but now that I'm thinking about it, is it maybe because the Chargers are played two day games and the Rams only played a night game? No, I don't think so. I think I'm right.

I agree with you, but then I broke it down like, wait, you're right, it does feel like the sun's always out for the Chargers games and not for the Rams. I am right. I'm damn right, but you just wait. You just wait until the Rams play a day game there and you'll agree with me. Next week, I think.

It's gonna look different. Yeah, Justin Herbert, I don't know, he was fine. He made a total, yeah, but he made a terrible interception at the end of the half that basically cost him the game. It did. Because it was a five, but they lost by five and they're in the red zone and he makes an interception and they run it all the way back,

or they might be a little outside the red zone, run it all the way back and then the Panthers get a free field goal to end the half. That's just a little bit of Phillip Rivers in them. That's all that is. I think that he's good. I'm ready to, I'm gonna go out on a big limb right now. You ready?

I think that Justin Herbert is a good quarterback. I think that he will be good. I'm not, I've watched enough of him in Oregon to always think like there's something weird missing. He lost you, you lost bets on him. What? You lost bets on Justin. No, no, no, the Arizona State game,

I'm pretty sure I had Arizona State. Like he just, he does, he looks like a good quarterback and then he'll make one or two plays where you're like, what was that? He's also the perfect Calibro to be leading the Chargers right now. Even though he's from, that's the other part. I don't like, I don't like-

He's Calibro. That he grew up right underneath the stadium, Otson Stadium in Oregon, and then stayed for an extra year when he could have been the number one pick. That's not a fucking Alpha. Yeah, cause he's a Calibro. It's not an Alpha. He's a Calibro, he just, he waited 21 years to get there.

Yeah. All right, Bucks Broncos. They should have won that game actually. Yeah, except they, Justin Herbert. No, but the very last, the very last play of the game, they had a hook and ladder called up. They just didn't execute on the pitch. It was so perfect.

Whatever coach is able to harness the universal power of rugby and be able to teach these design laterals downfield, it's going to change the game of football. I'm sick of being the only one smart enough to say it on a national platform. Andy Reed is going to figure it out one day. Do you know who will figure it out?

And it's going to be, it's going to change the game of football. Do you know who's trying to figure it out? I'm so far ahead of my time. You know who's trying to figure it out, it's Josh Allen. Yeah, Josh Allen is. Constantly throwing it backwards. He is, he's mashing all the buttons.

But the trick is your teammates have to know that you're going to do it first. So he's half the way there. It was almost perfect. And shout out Matt Rule getting his first win off the Schneid. All right, Bucks Broncos. Tom Brady looks good again. Yeah.

I knew that was going to happen after week one where like Tom Brady's old, Tom Brady's old. And Gronk, I think had six catches. Like they look, he looks good again. And they also have a nice schedule where they're going to, I'm telling you, the Bucks are going to be like six and one. I know that comes at, that comes, one of those wins is going to come at the, you know,

the Bears are going to lose to them. But the Bucks are going to be like six, seven and one. And people are like, wow, the Bucks. I knew that Gronk was going to have an awesome game when they put the South Park cutouts in the stands. You Gronk was going to like try to do a Cam Newton, but hand the ball to Cartman afterwards. Like that was his, his like preferable home field advantage

that was going on there. It was nice to see Shady McCoy back. It's always good to see him holding the ball just like with, with one finger somehow. I don't like it. He just licks his finger and just sticks it in the end of the football and runs with it like that. I didn't like, I didn't like him either.

They just, they looked like a bunch of guns on the field. And I also just really don't like when, when you have a game where both teams are wearing dark colors. Yeah. You need to have one white, one dark. Yeah. Brett, that's about it.

Brett Rippin got in. Yeah. That's another guy that John L. Way, like he knew his dad. Hey, I played against your pops. You want to last spot? You want to hop in here? Oh shit. You actually have to play.

Yeah. I just hope it comes. We get, we get portals. I think we will. I do too. He looked good. Also, he wasn't wearing pads. Vic Fangio, him and Ron Rivera

are in a competition to see who can burn the fewest amount of timeouts this year. Yes. They both, they both hate taking timeouts. Yes. All right, here we go. PFT, here's your Justin Herbert interception. Okay, here it is.

This is a terrible, oh wait, no, this isn't the one. They didn't show the one. Great pass. That was a pass. It didn't show the one. Through double coverage, a dart to the back of the end zone. It didn't show the one. That's a touchdown with four minutes left.

The one that cost them the game. All right, Lyons Cardinals. So are we going to cool down a little bit on the Cardinals hype train? I'm not, I'm not ready to cool down on it. You just gave the Lyons their first win in 12 weeks. That's Matt Patricia's favorite field to coach on. I, I-

Reminds him of how great he is. And guess what? Guess what? I'm going to actually be nice to the Lyons. That's just a different team with Kenny Galladay's out there. It's all, yeah, it is. And it's a fast track down there.

Yeah, but- Listen, the Lyons are both for speed, baby. Kyler looks bad. He did, he had three interceptions. I mean, he, even though he looked bad, I actually love that Kyler, like he's, he's one of those never give up quarterbacks where even if he's having a bad day,

it feels like he's one play away at all times. He had a couple of those really sick scrambles for touchdown. Like he was, he was getting it done with his feet. If I could put on my, my baldy hat, I would be like, look at this guy, this guy trying to tackle Kyler. Murray's like trying to grab a stick of butter in the shower. Like that's, that's a, which Matt Patricia's probably been spending his whole life

trying to do. Yeah, he goes, I would imagine he goes to the shower. It was like, what? Oh, here goes Matt again. Yeah. He's in the fridge. Oh, he must be taking a shower. He's walking with six sticks of butter.

He's got a, or an ice box. He has an ice box in the shower so he can have a hoagie. Okay. I have a take that's going to go against everything we've always said and believed in. I'm afraid. Five games in the afternoon is too much. I know.

I think it's, I think it's fine. I lost track of what I, I like. I, four is the perfect amount. Three is too little. Five is too much. I thought when, when they said it was eight and five, I was like, great balance schedule. Like these games,

especially with the Cowboys Seahawks game, you're focusing on that. I don't know. I'm ready. My body and mind is ready for mayhem at one o'clock, but after the witching hour and you go through the craziness, it's, you kind of are mentally exhausted.

I think it was fine because the Panthers Chargers game was a game you're going to forget about anyways. Right. I just, I don't want to forget about it. That was going to be like a hum white noise in the background game. They didn't really pay that much attention to.

But that, if they put that at one o'clock and then you get the other game, like you can focus a little bit more on the Cardinals Lions where I'm looking at everything. I don't know. I think my brain just, it's that, that first four hours at NFL Sunday,

you're basically on speed. You're just watching it and you're so locked in on everything and every play. And then when it ends and you go right into the next games, you have that low where you're like, woof, I need a breather. I thought five games is too much.

Four is perfect. I disagree. I think five games is fine as long as the Chargers are playing in one of those games. Yeah, I just, I don't know. I just lost track of these games. They all kind of blended together. It was also weird because the games,

they all ended at very- Like the Jets and Colts played in fucking four. Like what was that? They all ended at very, very different times. I guess maybe all these other games sucked. The Jets Colts game ended two and a half hours before the Seahawks game ended. Yes.

That's what it felt like. It also, I'm saying this, what made me think of it is that the Lions just won for the first time in 12 games. And it didn't really feel that remarkable because they kind of just got stashed away during a crazy Cowboys Seahawks game and they finished in this weird times slot

where it was like, wait, we still have football? Yeah. So I don't know. I thought it didn't do it justice. The Lions fans deserved a little more justice. They deserve their witching hour moment where it was like, here come the Lions, they're gonna win this.

I'll say something. And Hanson and Cicely Otto run out of gas too. I'll say something nice about the Lions. Fuck Cicely Otto, by the way. Matt Stafford, he looks very healthy. Matt Stafford can still throw the ball 60 yards on a dime. There we go. And the Lions won a game.

I say fuck Cicely Otto because he was messing. He was goofing today. He was goofing. He was doing the highlights and then being like, oh, but there's a flag. But you knew there was a flag, dude. Don't goof with me. All right, finishing up Cowboys Seahawks.

This game was awesome. Yep. This game was a big 12 game. No one wanted to tackle. No one wanted to play defense. Russ is cooking. I think, I think Russ is cooking too much. Well, so Russell said this on a podcast last week.

So I'm not stealing it, but it was a point I was thinking on, but he did it better than me because he actually did the research. But this narrative that like, can you believe Russell Wilson hasn't gotten an MVP vote is insane. Patrick Mahomes two years ago, like through 55 touchdowns.

Lamar Jackson was insane last year. But think about who won them. Of course he didn't get an MVP vote. Right. Like Russell Wilson has been incredible, but the years where guys have won MVPs, you can understand, like would anyone have voted

against Patrick Mahomes two years ago? No, but if you were to take like MVP of the last five years, but if you say like in this five year time span, forget about what he's done so far in the first games this season, Russ Wilson would definitely get votes for that. Sure, but he, but it's crazy

that this is now becoming a thing like, this is a travesty that he's never gotten an MVP vote. Show me the person who would ever vote against Patrick Mahomes two years ago or against Lamar Jackson last year. You would be insane. They were the best players in the league. You would actually be insane to me.

It would be dumb. And Russell Wilson is incredible. He's always been right around two, three, and you're right. When you add it all up, five years of the consistency, he has consistently been two, three, which makes him probably the best player

over the five years. But in a singular year, I understand why he hasn't had an MVP vote. Yeah, I'm ready to declare by the way the Dallas Cowboys are the best one and two team in the NFL. Yeah, they're actually gonna, I'm actually scared cause I want to like laugh at them and like dump on them and be like, they suck.

But if they can figure out just like how to get two stops a game. Yeah. They're going to be good. Just let Alden Smith cook. Yes, let him cook. Let him cook. Do you want to say anything about your boy?

Yeah, I think he's cutting too much. I think he's, he's going out of his way. Talking about DK Metcalfe fumbled in an awful way. I want to actually talk this, everyone who's not DK Metcalfe, turn your iPhone off, turn off your Android cutoff Spotify. This is just for DK's ears only. DK, listen, you're becoming too much of a one-trick pony.

You like cutting. You've become too good at moving laterally now on that deep ball that you caught. I saw the replay of it. I saw the little graph that they put up. The little, you know, the little animation that they show afterwards where it's just X's and O's moving along the screen that shows you

where everybody was going during a play. You moved, you, you couldn't help yourself. You cut to the left in the last four steps and you got the ball punched out. Stick to what you're, I don't want to say stick to what you're good at. Maybe it's time to get back to basics and just run directly straight all the time at defenders.

Yes. Run people over, be fast. Don't be afraid to be fast out there, DK. Credit to him for bouncing back. Although that's kind of a weird thing to always say. Like this guy, he bounced back from this bonehead thing. Well, what was he going to do? It's his job. Yeah.

Like, I guess, yes, you're right. Some guys would just pack it in for the day, but I don't know. I think DK, he's just, he's a pro. He's a pro. Of course he's going to bounce back. I actually think that DK is really good. Yeah, he's really good.

Probably, is he the best receiver in the, he's the second best receiver, I think, in the NFC West behind Hopkins. Yeah. And Greg Kittle. Well, Tyler Lockett, dude. Yeah. Tyler Lockett is really fucking good, man.

He is. Tyler Lockett, I saw a stat that he has I think he's tied with Tyree Kill for the most touchdowns over 40 yards in like the last two years. You don't think about that. Like, holy shit, Tyler Lockett, like just getting catching bombs.

The Seahawks offense is so good. They scored 111 points and they have one field goal. When they get in the red zone, they just score a touchdown. They're nine for nine. Yeah, Chris Carson looked good until he got his leg ripped off. Did you see that play?

Yeah, that was bad. The old alligator rule. Yeah. That was, that was a tough look. But DK, seriously, DK, stop fucking cutting. Just hold on to the ball, man. Run straight. Hold on to the ball.

They're Seahawks offense. So good. So much fun to watch. Just take, there's gonna be an over that's like 60 points this year. But easily with the Seahawks, I gotta find it. I'm gonna find it. And I'm gonna pre-bed it in my mind.

Sometimes I like to do that where I just- I did that earlier today with- I tell myself like, oh, when this game comes, you better fucking be ready. Next week. You go hammer time on the over. Washington football team and the Ravens. I'm gonna take the Ravens.

I don't care. Whatever number you wanna put in front of me, I will take. Shit, they don't actually have, this was their over game. Damn it. Yeah. That's it?

They don't have, well- Rams week 16. Rams, yeah. Rams earlier in the year too. But yeah, there's not this, this and the Falcons where they're over games. You need to get them against the Packers. That would have been like 75 points.

See who else we got. I mean, the Vikings might be an over game too. Just, they'll just have to do it all on their own. Although, yeah, the Seahawks defense is horrendous. Yeah. And the Seahawks will get out to like a 45 to 10 lead and it'll be 45 to 30 at the end of the game. And we knew this game was gonna get crazy

and it got sufficiently crazy when the Cowboys were down 15 and it was like you blinked and they were back in the game. Seahawks bills, that would just be a nuts game. Like those two teams play weird fucking football. That's gonna be awesome. So Russ is awesome.

Dak is still very good and the Cowboys are not as bad as a one and two says. So it's gonna, I would just say for all the Cowboys haters out there, choose what you say wisely because it could come back to bite you. It could come back to bite you. They had the Browns and the Giants.

The Browns Giants Cardinals and Washington football team and they're gonna, the Cowboys are gonna blink. You're gonna blink and the Cowboys are gonna be five and two, six and two. But for right now, they're not in first place in the NFC East. Facts, facts.

Okay, let's get to, let's do another ad, Deon. And then we're gonna do, we'll finish up with who's back and football guy of the week. Before we get to Deon, I wanna talk to you about 3G. I had a little 3G experience on Saturday night, put me to bed, knocked me out.

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And now, Deion Sanders. Okay, we welcome on our coworker, good friend, Prime. Last week we missed you because we were in Pennsylvania, you were traveling. Congrats on Jackson State. Say that right off the bat. Yes. We're gonna recruit for you.

Anytime you need us in a living room, we're there. Don't think I'm not gonna take you up on an offer. Yeah, perfect, love the grade at it. Love it. All right, so we're gonna talk quickly some of the bigger storylines from NFL Sunday and I wanna start with the dumbest game by far, without a doubt, the Bengals and the Eagles tying.

Have you ever been part of a tie in the NFL? Were you ever part of a tie? No, only thing I do with a tie is wear it around my neck. No, that was a garbage tie. That was a horrible tie. You guys need to get off that Carson Wentz, moped, scooter, bicycle, car, whatever you own. Get off of it right now before,

while you got time. That is ridiculous, man. It is, it is and Carson Wentz was bad and more than anything, Doug Peterson, essentially playing for a tie, playing for a 60 yard field goal then getting the offsides and then punting with 15 seconds left instead of kicking.

What, if you go to the locker room after that, are you just like, what are we even doing here? Like we're okay with just tying? No, yeah, because you're playing so bad, you really think you're gonna win? You're playing against the Bengals. You're playing against the Bengals. Like, come on.

Honestly, I would start looking to Jalen Hertz. I'm telling you, don't think the guys in the locker room are not murmuring, happy to know some of them. Don't think they're not murmuring about, hey man, we may need to just give him a limited role and give him a shot because this is ridiculous. Yeah, no, I agree with that. Carson Wentz played pretty poorly.

I actually don't fault Doug Peterson for punting after they got that false start because, I mean, what are you gonna do? You don't make it. And then Joe Burrow has like 20 yards to gain and then Fat Randy's gonna come out and split the uprights like it's a wishbone again. So I don't mind Doug Peterson punting there

but the play calling in overtime was like, it was extremely conservative to get him to that point. So yeah, I mean, if you're in that locker room, like nobody's happy with the tie. The Bengals aren't happy with it. The Eagles aren't happy with it. The Bengals are happy with the tie. The Bengals are happy with the tie

because they're used to Ls. So they're happy with a tee. That's true. Joe Burrow said that he's counting it as a loss because it's not a win. I like that. Joe Burrow's is counting it as a loss because he's used to winning at LSU.

We got the best kick yesterday, by the way. But just why he's counting it as a turn loss because he used to winning. When you go number one, you gotta get comfortable. You don't have to get luxurious and losing but you gotta understand you're gonna lose a lot of games in the league when you're traffic number one.

Yeah. And Deion, I'm seeing that chain around your neck. Have you ever, did anybody ever try to snatch your chain during your game? No. I've always been good with these things. I mean, really good with these things. Yeah.

So you didn't play with the chain on. Yeah, I did. I did, but that wasn't shown. Jury is no, it is coming for me. It sounds crazy, but jury is no place. Football has no place for jury. Really though, jury is no place to be worn on the football field.

That's not good. I feel like even though I did it, I was gonna say, I feel like I can find a million pictures of you wearing jewelry on that. You know what? I wore a bracelet. I wore a bracelet up under my gloves because I just felt like they're bracelet has

some big plays in it. But I'd never really, I'd never really lost a jury during the game. Never. All right. So next one I want to talk about. The Falcons have to fire Dan Quinn. This is incredible what they've done.

I told you that. I don't go to that say that. You did. You did. And you just not catching the revelation. Yeah. No, it's insane that they lost again in up over 15 points in the fourth quarter.

Nick Foles brings the Bears back. Who? Excuse me. Who? I got a bad connection. Who did you say brought the Bears? Who? Okay.

Well, Mitch, we feel bad for Mitch. I feel bad for Mitch as a human being. You don't feel bad for Mitch. You don't feel bad for Mitch. You don't even care about Mitch. You can care less about Mitch and you know it. You know it. My God, Nick Foles.

I love you so much, dude. The passion that you have for that guy out there in Denver that backs up the backup, who backs up the backup that you guys are crazy about. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Get some respect on his name. You too?

Yeah. Oh yeah. I love Blake Bortles. You probably don't even know. You're one of these armchair guys that doesn't ever go into a locker room anymore. You don't know. I know what he does.

I know what he did to a whole franchise. I know what he did to a darn Super Bowl burst. I know what he did. I know who he is. Unacceptable. You too? Yeah. Me too.

Yeah, us too. Nick Foles is acceptable. Nick Foles is acceptable. Yes, Nick Foles was fantastic. The Bears, I mean, they have to go with Foles. But so just one more thing about the Falcons though, like do you, how do you even put the pieces back together after that?

You can't, this is no self-fulfilling prophecy. Let me tell you something. I hate to see coaches get fired because I'm one now, but it's no way, it's no way you could continue this. The stadium's already empty because of social distancing, right? We're just on a limited number. Even that limited number is going to stop.

Because this is ridiculous. Now it's going to, okay, how far can we get up to see how bad we can lose this? Yeah, yeah. That's what it seems like now. And I tweeted, please don't do it to me again, especially after yesterday with what Florida State did to me. I can't take this.

I'm not built for this. Yeah. Florida State and the Falcons, not so good. I'm going to put this out there. What about Mike Leach to the Falcons next season? How many points do you think he could score with that roster? Probably like 80 points again. One thing that Mike Leach is going to do,

he's going to score and this press conference is a must watch. Yeah. A must watch. What is it? I love me some Mike Leach. He's the best. What is it in your opinion about Nick Foles that makes him so weirdly good?

Even though he doesn't look like much. You see him back there, you see him throwing the ball. He doesn't seem to have like an outstandingly strong arm. He's pretty accurate, but he doesn't look like a superstar quarterback, but he's able to come into these situations and win. He's a cleaner, man. He's like a good housekeeper.

Very unassuming, but he just gets the job done. He just always gets the job. He cleans up the mess. He's the best housekeeper that ever lived in the NFL. Yeah. Now, you can't keep him in there for a long time now, not for a stretch. You can't think Foles are going to do it over 14

to 16 game seed. No, no, he comes in right on time, but he has 13 more. He could do that. He could do that. But that's who he is. He gets the job done. The housekeeper. That's what I'm calling Foles for now.

The housekeeper. I like that. I also think Foles does, you know, sometimes we overthink quarterbacks and get, you know, the rocket arms or the dazzling plays. Nick Foles does two things that makes him good, maybe never great, but he throws a very catchable ball. And it feels like everything's always on time.

Like he's, the rhythm is always there where he gets the ball out, where it needs to go. When it needs to get there, instead of what has happened with Mitch, and you can see it with younger quarterbacks of struggle, things break down when their first read's not there and it doesn't, the ball doesn't get out when it needs to get out. Quarterbacks that struggle are not good at making decisions.

That's why they struggle. Foles looks at the defense, checks out, knows all his routes, knows the throughout combinations, and he makes the read. He eliminates several routes before the player started because the defense predicates what you can't do and you cannot do, what you can and cannot do. And Foles assesses the situation and makes

probably 70% of the time the right choice. That's what great quarterbacks do. They process and make it happen. What about another quarterback that a lot of people are talking about today, Sam Darnold? I've seen, I've seen a lot of people say, like Sam doesn't deserve to be on this Jets team. I think that Sam is a big cause of why this Jets team

is this Jets team, but a lot of people are saying like he's too good, he doesn't have the talent around him. Doesn't have the coaching. Are you out on Sam Darnold? Or do you think that there's something that can be salvaged up? I've never been in. I've never been in on Sam Darnold.

Out, I've never been in. The first thing I gotta get in to even get out. This ain't double Dutch. I've never jumped one foot in, one foot out. I've never been in. I've never been in on the Jets period. Since, ever since Rex left, I think I've been out on the Jets.

I really, I really have. And this, this organization, this franchise, they've fallen and they can't get up. They just keep continuously making bad decisions in the draft, in free agency, play calling, defense, head coaches, they continuously, they're continuously consistent about getting it wrong. And the thing with Adam Gaes is I haven't seen anything

from him that makes me think that the players like him or that the players are playing for him or that he's done anything to win that team over. You know, for the past couple of years, he's just kind of been there on the sidelines, acting like kind of a dick who hasn't won anything. But acting like that Belichick kind of guy, you know, like this is my way, get in or get out.

It doesn't matter, we'll cycle through the numbers. But he hasn't, he doesn't have anything to prove that from. You talk to a lot of people, I don't know if you talk to anybody in the Jets locker room, but just around the league, is he liked at all inside that locker room? I got a few friends that played for the Jets. I got people management, coaches, everybody.

I got people everywhere. I'm not saying I'm that kind of dude, but I got people everywhere. I don't think a lot of people around the football world, felt as though he deserved that opportunity. A lot of people feel as though they were better qualified, more qualified people for that opportunity, especially an opportunity in New York.

You got to be built for New York to handle a team in New York, to be the head coach of a franchise in New York. He's not built like that, man. Yeah. He's not built like that. So, so Giants and Jets two of the worst teams in the league. Trevor Lawrence coming out next year, you know, as close to a sure thing as we've had in a while.

They both have Sam, Sam Donaldson and Daniel Jones. They've drafted, you know, in the last few years, the first round. Is it a node and no brainer? If the Giants or Jets finished with the worst record in the league that they just say, okay, thanks, Sam. Thanks, Daniel. Trevor Lawrence is our guy now.

Not even a question. You know what, big cat? That's why you're the man, because you're asking tough questions. That's a good, that's a good conversational piece. Like it really is a good, that right there makes me think about what they do that. Like what they do that with a guy that they just drafted

what two and what three years ago. Yeah. Yeah. What, what they do that, that quickly. That's really thought provoking. That's why you are the man. I think you do. I mean, I think it's an easy yes.

I think it is a yes, but it also, you know, it does. That's not an easy yes. Well, that's not an easy yes. I think it's harder for Daniel, the Daniel Jones question, because the Giants seem to love him and they took him in a spot where he, you know, they were like, that's our guy.

That's our guy. All you heard afterwards was when you have your guy, you got to go get your guy. So, and it's obviously would be year three instead of Sam Donnell, which would be year four. But I think with what happened in Arizona when, you know, they drafted Josh Rosen, then the next year they drafted Kyler Murray.

I think that kind of sets the precedent that you can do that now. Yeah, you can if you're bringing in a new coach. The only reason that happened because you got a coach that came in that was with the, not running shoot, but with the dual threat quarterback that had had success doing that.

And you brought a college guy in to run like a college and scheme. So that means you're going to have to abandon the coach. One of those coaches is going to have to be fired. If you do that, if you bring in that, Sam Donnell would probably be the first one to go. But I could think of a few other teams that may make that move.

And I could think of a few other franchises may trade up and trade draft picks to acquire Trevor Lawrence. Right. And it's a couple of guys out that is here that is going to challenge Trevor Lawrence to be that guy I'm telling you. See, people love you until it's time to draft you.

They'll say, oh, we find this wrong, this wrong, and this wrong, and this wrong about you. They're going to do it. It's a couple of guys in college football this year that can flat out spin it, man. I think he's going to be challenged to be that number one pick. I really do.

Yeah. What about what about some of these teams that got off to a hot start? They might look good now, but maybe a team that that is two and one, three and O that you think is not built for the cold weather. You know, when you have to be able to run the ball, stop the run, old school football, shit.

Old school football, you're right. I tell you what, man, I'm loving what Seattle's doing right now. I don't like them defensively, but I'm loving what they're doing. As long as you have, you're in the game, Russell Wilson is going to give you a chance to win it. I like the comeback that the Rams mounted today.

I thought it was over. I was about to hit sin and mess with you, and I had to delete it because they started coming back. I'm like, what is going on? But I liked that. I needed to see that from the Rams. I really needed to see them turning on like that, and they did, but I did need to see Buffalo

overcome that adversity, and they did. I liked them a lot, man. I didn't really, tell me about the Patriots game real quick, because I didn't really get to, because I was so intently watching other games. How did that game play out? They basically, the scary thing about the Patriots this year is that they can just change whatever they want to do

from game to game. Cam Newton threw for whatever 350 yards last week in Seattle. I think he threw for like 125 today, and they ran for like 250. Like they just bullied, they just bullied the Raiders. And that's why Belichick's Belichick, he changes his game plan. He's coaching no man, but there's coaching.

He found something, and they already attacked it. That's coaching. God, that's coaching. I love it. So I had one last question. Your other team, the Cowboys, is there any fix for that defense? Because man, it looks like that Cowboys Seahawks game

looked like a big 12 game. Like there was no tackling, big plays everywhere. It didn't look like NFL football. It didn't look like NFL football. Oklahoma Kansas State yesterday. Tell me something. Because all you guys, I don't know if you guys did it, but everybody jumped all over Jason Garrett last year.

Is this not the same team? Yeah. Or worse? Is this, because the defense was better last year. So is this worse? It looked like they're worse, and you're asking Dak to throw for 400 a game, just to be in the game.

He hasn't thrown for four bills where you didn't even be in a darn game. That's a lot of pressure, not that he can't handle it, but that's a lot, man. Well, I think the offense does look a little bit better. They seem more competent, at least. Like it seems like McCarthy knows what he's doing on offense.

And Jason Garrett, he wasn't running the defense last year. So I would say, I would say yes, it's an upgrade so far offensively for the Cowboys. But yeah, I mean them and the Seahawks both, it's like those are two really good teams that can score points, but you have to be able to top somebody

at some point, take away their strength. Right, right, right, right. But it's a good football play today. I don't, I think I only lost. I may have tied one game, and that's the, Deion doesn't pick a game. The Cincinnati game. He doesn't pick a game.

That's the Cincinnati game. That tie, I'm thinking that's maybe the only one. I'm not for sure. You lost, you had the Falcons, you had the Falcons. You had the Falcons. I had the Falcons, you know I had the Falcons. I just wonder where you're gonna catch that. Nick Foles came over and slapped you in the face with,

you know what? Listen, but I knew it. But remember pregame, I told you I didn't want to take them and Jamie forced me to. I felt it in my spirit. I should have stayed with my instinct. Yeah. I could have stayed with my instinct.

Coach Prime, thank you as always. Wait, Prime, I have one last question for you. So you said that that was some fake news that came out last week when it leaked that it was gonna be like Warren Sapp and Terrell Owens and everybody. Yeah, the guy's got, the guy got fired. He got fired too for that fake news.

Okay, so are you able to say who is on your coaching staff so far? No, not right now. I can't, you guys be the first to know cause you're friends. Okay, perfect. Can we break that news? And we might be on it. We might be on the staff.

Hey, do you need a kicker? Yeah, you will be. Yeah, you need a kicker? Do you need a kicker? PFT is a kicker, he's got eligibility. If you're gonna be a kicker, I need you gotta bring a snapper too. I'll snap.

Yeah, we'll teach him. You just can't come and kick, I need a snap. We got a whole unit. No, no, Hank'll snap. A hole. He's a big catch holder. Yeah. Okay.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you guys got, I'm telling you something, you got Warren Sapp. You got Warren Sapp on the conversation. We got Deon speechless for the first time in his life. He's like, okay guys. No, I was thinking about Warren Sapp. You got Warren Sapp, I told him and he watched it today and he loved it.

He said, I'm in. I'm in, tell me when, where, what time, I'm in. I'm just saying, like we have some offers out there from what, Toledo? Toledo has offered us. Has offered us? Yes. So like right now we've narrowed it down.

Our final, we're going to put hats on the table right now for Jackson State and Toledo. That's fake news. That's fake news. Yeah, no, they offered us. That's fake news. No, they did. And the key to the city for Coach Stugs, yeah.

Yeah. All facts. They gave you a key to the city. Coach Stugs did. The key to the bathroom in the back of the, the key to the bathroom to the back of the Citgo. Well, that's, that's Toledo. One in the same.

It opens all bathrooms in Toledo. All right, well, Coach Prime, thank you as always. We'll see you next week, man. All right, I want the thing. I just wanted to share that. I just wanted to share it with you. But who's counting? You don't pick against the spread.

It doesn't matter. All right, see you, man. See you, Dianne. All right. Okay, we're going to wrap up with some who's back and football guy of the week before. Let's do football guy of the week first. Football guy of the week is brought to you

by our friends at Phillips Norelco. Check out Phillips Norelco. We've been using it. The OneBlade, pick up especially marked OneBlade Barstool Pack nationwide where you could win up to $1,000 to the Barstool store. And if you have your own football guy looks, we want to see them tweet your funniest game day facial

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presented by Phillips Norelco. Jake, why don't you say them all? All right. So by the way, Jim Mercer won last week for the bench press. Well, I deserve. Sad sack Football Guy of the Week week. None of them won.

So I guess the AWLs were not in the top of the league for them. Wow, so the AWLs ate kids with cancer? No comment. Okay. Starting things off with friend of the program, Mike Variable. When asked about his favorite prize possession in his office, he showed his TV on the wall

because he said he watched his film on it. Love it. So that's pretty cliche, but still. I mean, I'm not a Football Guy like him, I'm a Football Guy's guy. So, but if someone said like, what's your prize possession? I definitely would show them my three TVs

and be like, because I watch football on it. Yeah, my TV and my dog. That's better. Although Variable, most, what? Dude, it's 2020. What? I don't own my dog. My dog is a resident of this earth.

I possess him and he possesses three possess each other. No, I do not own my dog. It's an equal share. I am not an owner of my dog. Well, my dog is a free range animal. I wonder which screen Variable is talking about, because Football Guy's, you have to have at least like four monitors and screens in your desk.

And like three of them don't work, but you just like you bring an IT guy in to just give you a new screen every time one shuts down. South Carolina head coach, Will Muschamp, in a promotional video, he told Gamecock fans to quote, get the FUCK out of their seats and quote. But he said, fuck. Yes. Yes.

He said, get the fuck out of your seats. Jake doesn't swear. I think that was on. What did he say? He told him to get the FUCK out of their seats. Jake. I feel like. Have you ever sworn on?

No, I curse a lot. Just like, God, same professional when the mics are hot. He's like a sailor when the mics are hot. So you've never sworn on? No, I curse a lot. Hot mic? Tons. I've never heard you curse.

No. Really? You curse a lot. I mean, like. Why do you curse so much? Do you have a problem? Give us an example of what you'd say. You got a problem with cursing?

No. What did you say? You curse a lot? It's like in the hot mics. You're like, what would you say? Like, fuck this, fuck that. Yeah. I'm a fucking badass.

Yes. No, no, not that. I repeat that. No. What's your favorite curse word? F-E-C-K. We're going to get Jake just to, all right, this is now our mission.

We have to get him to swear on the podcast. Yeah. I'm going to get like a hammer and hammer your foot. Break your toe. Just to hear you swear on a hot mic. I think I cursed when I heard my ankle playing tennis with you guys. Wow.

Yeah, you might have. What did you say? F-E-C-K-S-H-I-T. Yeah. I think that that was a deep fake of Will Must Champ. No, I'll take that back. All of the video? I think that Will Must Champ himself is a deep fake.

I think he's just like a body and they just project to some random South Carolina football fan that looks like he could be a dumb looking head coach. They just put his face onto Will Must Champ's body. Yeah. Yeah. Big Cat, this was courtesy of you. Army fullbacks coach Mike Vidi stayed standing

after getting head butted by offensive lineman Michael Johnson while not wearing a helmet. This was such a funny clip because the Army dude just bashed his coach in the head and fucked him up. Like he was out on his feet. And it was just football guys just don't know their limits. They forget that they have a helmet on. They just go start bashing people.

What do you think the coach said after that? I don't know. I'm watching again right now. He looks knocked out with his. You look so hurt. He was like, fudge. I think he liked it. I think the coach was like, this is sweet.

I finally feel something. I caught a sweet buzz. I looked at the fact that Army has a fullbacks coach. Just call him a strength and conditioning guy, yeah. None of them were anythings on Bubba, Liam's request. You math side coach Walt Bell, the moment he found out his team would be playing this season, he said, quote, I handed the baby to Maria and went to work.

Dude, you mass. The way they're playing this year has to be, I can't believe that those kids haven't opted out. They're literally just they don't because they're independent. So whenever a team cancels like for COVID reasons, they're just going to be there to be like, yo, we'll come and get our, you know, get fucking worked by you. Them in central Arkansas.

They're like, I'm sorry for getting their ass. I respect that though. Like they should get a medal for being around. They're the ones that are keeping this football season going. Jake, what did you say? Yume ass. Oh, you mass. You said it again.

What is it? University of Massachusetts Amherst. University of Massachusetts Manhurst. Yes. OK. I heard ass. What are the, what's up? Will Mustchamp, where does he coach?

South Carolina. What are they? Gamecocks. OK, we'll cut out the game. Would you say cock on on camera? Cock the noodle there. Got him. All right.

Phil Sernocco, thank you. Phil Sernocco for sponsoring Football Guy of the Week. Everyone vote and we will give the winner and also use that hashtag. Trim it to win it for a chance to hang out with us. OK, let's wrap up. Who's back of the week? Hank, you want to start? Sure.

My who's back in the week is fuckface. Jake and his fucking stupid fucking heat team. OK, so let's talk about it. So we have the heat and the Lakers in the finals. We watched Game 6 tonight. The heat were the better team in the series. I did think in your head you were you were like we could after winning Game 5, you're like, this is a series now.

Yeah, I thought it was going to go to seven. Yeah, I thought they figured out the zone finally in Game 5. And I thought that was like, oh, well, basically game one now and they're going to dominate. So I thought it was going to be a win Game 5 and never look back. Brad Stevens. Great coach. Great.

Yeah, I mean, he got out coached in the series, but that's because Spultz was a better screen. How many years does he have to coach before he's loses great coach without going to the finals? Like if he's if we're three more years, three more years, yeah, no finals appearance, three more years, you will no longer call him a great coach. I actually agree.

Last year, I mean, last year, they're starting lineup was like Kyrie Irving, Al Horford. They've they've restructured everything in the past year. And they're still, you know, made to the Easter Conference finals. OK, OK. Would you say he said Spultz was a very good coach. So it's very good, better than great. Great question.

Spultz was a very good coach in the series. And you know what? Honestly, I'm a huge Eric Spultz fan. He's the only reason that LeBron James ever won those championships in Miami in the first place. Ray Allen back. Chris Voss has rebounded. That's my best back, Jay.

What you trying? And so I just hope that he can, you know, beat LeBron this time. But honestly, it was it was one of those things where in the past like week or two, I was really thinking about like the Lakers and if the Celtics were playing the Lakers, I didn't really think that they were going to beat Anthony Davis. Like he was just going to fuck them anyway. So it's better that you lose now than you lose to LeBron.

Little bit. Yeah. I mean, I think that he'd have a better chance probably than the Celtics. LeBron has never beaten the Celtics in the finals. What'd you say? LeBron is still never beating the Celtics in the finals. Correct. Fact. I think the heat have legitimate chance.

I mean, I assume most people are saying that the same thing. I think they do too. They've got like four different guys that can show up on any given night and be the guy. The Lakers have two. Well, three. Caruscio. Don't underestimate Udon is still in the locker room.

It's been part of all three titles. And it's right. Andrea Godalla. Yeah. Or is 10th straight finals for AI. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah.

And Hank. I think it's 10. Fun Fetty, please. Fun Fetty. What is it? Are you thinking of are you thinking of James? What's his name? No, Michael McIntyre.

No, James. No. Was it James Jones? Oh, yeah, because he was on the heat. He would just follow the ball around. Yeah, and then the Cavs. AI did not go to finals. It's at least six for for AI, which is still pretty good.

Yeah. Hank. Hey, good who's back? Yeah, what are you going to do with the cake? I'm going to bake fucking Jake a stupid fucking cake. Wow. It's for them, too. They were part of it.

It's for us. I'm pretty pumped about it. Six straight trips to the finals for AI. You should make him a birthday, Jake. Hank, make him a birthday cake. You're so upset. I'm going to make him a cake. OK.

I have a man on my word. What is it going to be? A fun Fetty cake. All right. When are we getting it? This week. OK. I'm out Thursday.

PFC is out Wednesday. So can you make it Tuesday? What are we going to do for the show on Thursday? Well, we're back Thursday night. We're bringing it Thursday. No, but people are going to eat it. I'll save it. I'll put it in the studio.

No, do it Tuesday. Maybe. Can I have ice cream, too? I don't know. Are you like lactose intolerant or something? No. All right, PFC, who's your who's back? My who's back of the week is I got two.

One is Dude Perfect. I lost a bet to Jeff DeLoe from the Dozen from Lights, Camerabarstool, where we bet on the spread of the Washington football team, Cleveland Browns game. And I have to get dressed up like the Purple Hoser for a week. So I got at first I got to buy Purple Hoser gear. You guys know the Purple Hoser, right?

He's the one that wears purple. So I'm going to be dressed up like the elite member of Dude Perfect for a week nonstop. That'll be great. And then my other who's back of the week is Fat Bears. Fat Bears are back. It's that time of year where they have that web cam set up in Alaska and you just see bears getting,

like putting on upwards of 100, 150 pounds in a week, just eating salmon all week. Great way to kill time is just watch that. If you're a Jets fan on Sunday, I highly recommend doing that. Or I guess it'd be Thursday night free this week. Instead of watching the Jets, I actually think that one of those Fat Bears could coach a more salient football program than Adam Gaseke.

Absolutely. And Joe Judge. All right, my who's back is Baseball Playoffs. Are we excited for it or no? I was looking at it. I think it's just two out of three. I was playing the Cubs, which thank God there's no fans in the crowd because they would just replay like Bartman shit.

But the Marlins, do you want to say the fact about the Marlins? Never have lost the postseason series, 97 and 0-3. And they've never won a division title, both in as the wild card. Wow. So they're, yeah, it's going to be weird. So Tuesday is the start, but I'm excited. Fuck it. How great would that be if it was Marlins Yankees

in the World Series, Derek Jeter? 0-3. Yeah. Someone tried to say, I saw some tweet being like Derek Jeter, that everyone doubted Derek Jeter, look what he's done. It's like, dude, they let half the fucking league into the playoffs. The Marlins are like 30 and 28 and they limped in.

He didn't put together some juggernaut. Right. But it's so impressive. They also almost canceled the season for everybody. Yes. We don't talk about that. Yes. But I'm excited.

I'm excited for the Baseball Playoffs. I'm excited. It's going to be great because it's just intense day sports, which we need more of. Also, the Mac, I forgot, have we taped? No, Mac came back up. Return of the Mac, yeah. Mac is also, I've heard word that the Mac is going to play

pretty much exclusively a weekday schedule. Perfect. So I think they're going to play maybe a couple of weekends at the end of their schedule, but they're going to be like, we own this. So who's playing the game first? Is it the Mac or the Pac-12? I think the Pac-12 got beat.

I think, I don't know when the Macs come back. But I just know that the Mac, that was the smartest thing they could ever do because there will be a moment in late October, November, where we will not have sports on Tuesday and Wednesday nights because there's no basketball or hockey. So, and that's our baseball's done. So the Mac will be king. It will be the only thing you can watch.

And finally, we get the shine that we deserve. What has happened with those teams? So they were told that their season's canceled. Did they all just like keep practicing? Yeah. Just in case a football game broke out? Or just hanging out. I don't know if they practiced.

What else am I going to do? Yeah. Right. Respect. I like that. Jake, you want to finish with the who's back? Because your heat, your heat won. It was actually going to be, sorry, Steve Bartman.

They're just going to play that. Why didn't you do that? Why didn't you do the heat? I know it. The whole reason I asked for you to do the who's back was I thought you were going to go out through Hank again. Why did you do that against me? I mean, it was, it was in my, he's just been there.

It's true. Steve Bartman is back. Go back against Hank. Steve Bartman is back. Go back against Hank. Yeah. Like, think about it. They're going to show the Steve Bartman play.

No, there's no fans, Hank. They should do one. They're not fans. They should do one cut out of Steve Bartman. Hank, I have the producers. They're going to, you know, they're going to stop. Yeah. And have him be that one guy.

No fans. No fans. Hank, how cool would that be? I mean, the Celtics lost and the heat won. And you're a heat fan the next two weeks. Facts. Yeah, we're all fans. We are a heat podcast.

We should actually change the like cover art and be like number one heat podcast. Just have it be like Miami Vice style colors. Yeah. I like that. I'm actually working on a bet. Hopefully we'll have it out on the Barstool Sportsbook of whose team is it.

And it's just going to be who who's going to win. Who's going to score more points? A.D. or LeBron, just so that we can be a whole series. Yeah. So if you'd be like, yeah, A.D. is the one who deserves this. I mean, Jimmy Butler could be top five player ever at Burr. He is top five player right now. Right now.

Absolutely. I mean, he's hero. He is. Hero is a bucket. Hero is the top one bucket in the NFL. Yeah, he does. He really does. All right.

That's our show. We'll see everyone on Wednesday. Yeah. Let's do it. Let's do a lotter before we do a lottery. Let's go to Billy's fun fact of the week. Billy, do you have a fun fact? But you know, you know, Koala's could get herpes.

Sweet worms have seven hearts when Billy doesn't have a fact. He just falls back on something his grandfather told him when he was three. Yeah. Oh, did you know all dogs go to heaven? That's a fact. We miss you, Billy. Love you, Billy. All right.

So quick. 18. 31. Four. Because it's not a fact. 17. Four. 31.

I can't not say it. Five. God damn it. So close. I was one off. That's insane. Shout out, McNabb. One off.

Yeah, shout out, McNabb. Thought that you could tie in the Super Bowl. We just wouldn't have a Super Bowl champion. See you every Wednesday. Love you guys. I'm talking away. I don't know why. I just say I'll say it anyway.

Today is another day to find you. Shine away. I'll be coming for your love, OK? Take on me, take on me, take on me. I'll be gone, and I'll take on you. So needless to say, I'll say it. It's about me, it's done a little way. It's done a little, but mine's OK.

Take on me, take on me, take on me. I'll be gone, and I'll take on you. I'll be gone, and I'll take on you, take on me, take on me. Take on me, take on me, take on me. Take on me, I'll be gone, and I'll take on you. Take on me, take on me, take on me. I'll be gone, and I'll take on you, take on me, take on me. It's part of my take presented by Bar Stool Sports.