Pardon My Take - NFL Week 4 Recap, Minshew Mania, Chase Daniel Redemption, And We Create A Bansky

Episode Date: September 30, 2019

NFL Week 4 fastest 2 minutes (2:47 -5:40). We recap every game from Sunday (5:40 - 72:20). The Falcons are a clown show. The Lions aren't bad? Raiders finally won in EST. We say something nice about the Dolphins. The Browns are back to being Super Bowl Champs. Is Jameis Good? Chase Daniel redeems all Chases, and we discuss if you can have Zane as a kicker. Who's back of the week (72:20 - 85:06). Football guy of the week (85:06 - 93:12). Uhh ya think, and a Monday Reading about a guy obsessed with Virgins vs Chad memes (94:19).  You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, add free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take week for NFL Recap, we talk about every single game. We're gonna say something nice about the Dolphins. We're gonna do everything.

We're gonna recap it. We're gonna do the fastest two minutes. We're gonna talk a little college football. We got football guy the week. Maybe I'll say it, PFT. Our best football guy of the week thus far, thus far, and it's all brought to you by the Cash App. Part of my take is brought to you by the Cash App.

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Boy! Boy! Now in the street they with violence and then a lot of stuff work to be done. No pistol hangers or washing and then again they fall on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue and let me take it higher.

Oh, we gonna rock down to electric avenue. It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports. Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Badbeat Mondays, go download the Cash App right now. You get $5 for free with code BARSTULE. Tweet him, you might be able to get help from your bookie. Today is Monday, September 30th, week. Four.

What? What? What? What? What? We start in Atlanta. Wake up, Maddie. I think I've got something to say to you.

It's late September and your team stills looks like big poo poo. AJ Soprano Brown finally made it a whole football game without passing out and Titans fans are singing Marcus. I think I want to Marriota you. After the much maligned quarterback threw for three scores, Dan Quinnipiac should be coaching at a safety school.

We're kicking a 3.0 would be considered a success. Who are you? Who? Who? Julio Jones and Austin, who are you? Who? Who? Hooper said, are we going to lose this game?

You better, you better, you bet. As the millennial Falcons are stuck in a teenage wasteland. Titans 24, Falcons 10. What? What? What? To Western New York, where the 3.0 bills host the 3.0 Patriots and a battle for the AFC East.

The bills are taking us a new year, but Josh Hashanah Allen was no match for Julian Edelman. Happy New Year, Boob. Matt Baby Barth played like two, two, two, two, two, two, in relief and although Tom Brady Quinn didn't throw many fuckable spirals, this year looks a lot like last year as stop me if you've heard this before, Teenage.

The Patriots win in Buffalo. Patriots 16, both dead. No, no one. Down to Baltimore where Freddy Kittens had the offense purring and left the Ravens looking like pussies. Nick Chubba Wamba got knocked down, but then got up again because you can never

keep a rock hard chub down. Lamar Jackson looked like he took a whiskey drink, then a lager drink, then a vodka drink, then a cider drink and was so thirsty for more that he unlocked all the beer fridges in Cleveland. John Jacob Jingleheimer Harbaugh looked at his brother Jim and said, hey, your name is my name too. Whenever we go out, people always shout,

hey, neither of you guys can win a big game. Brown's 40, Raven's 25. Whup, whup. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Booboo. In Detroit, it looks like Catrick Mahomes isn't housebroken as Andy Reed brought his favorite pet indoors for the first time

and made a mess all over the carpet as he had his first game without a touchdown. There were not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, but six, Fummoes in the sloppy affair. Karen Barry Johnson and Daryl Strawberry Williams found all the cracks and towed to the rock to the big white line and the Kansas City queeps can let out an awkward sigh of relief

after getting penetrated all afternoon. Chief 34, line starting. Scientists are puzzled by a very disturbing trend in the waters along four Gulf Coast states, almost 300 dead and dying dolphins. Think about that for a second, I've watched it short since February and that's about three times the usual number.

San Diego Super Chargers 30, Dolphins 10. The New York football giants in the middle lands where damn Daniel Jones was back at it again with the white fans. Daniel Jones, the Deloitte accountant continued to excel for four fiscal quarters. Wayne Gorman brothers tied the Redskins defense to a whipping post like they disobeyed in order

from Adrian Peterson. The New York defense of starters played like great tasting subs as Jabral sausage and peppers and David Hold the Mayo were the real heroes on Sunday. You're on a roll, boom. The Redskins looked like they were better suited for cable access as Twain's World, Twain's World, garbage time, interceptions, the G-Men 24, the R-Words 30.

In Indianapolis where Derek, comedian and cars getting coffee might be developing a very special relationship with his head coach, John Gruden. Not that there's anything wrong with that, Deej. Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve Vinitieri, didn't kick one of his field goals straight enough as Indiana native Mike Pence was shaking his head thinking the Colts need some third down conversion therapies.

Stick to sports, boom. Vontez said, I'm not a perfect person. Got kicked out for a 7,000 consecutive NFL game but the Colts still, who must stank it up? The Riders 31, Colts 24. Hey, Colt, go up the, what? So spread. Out in the desert where Jadevion,

Crusty the Clowney and sideshow Bobby Wagner said must kill Kyler as the Seahawks sat Murray four times and added a pitch six. Will disly beneath the milky twilight, left Cardinals better six pints none the richer. Split Kingsbury got rolled up and smoked recreationally by the Seattle form of Seahawks dispensary. Seahawks 27, the Cardinals done.

Standing on the corner, James Winston Tampa, Florida's such a fine sight to see. It's Bruce, holy shit. Rockin' red ovaries like a pimp, watch his QB go one I and T. Come on, Bucks, I thought you sucked. The Rams took down America's teaser, what the fuck? Bucks 54, Rams 40.

Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? We finished in Mile High, where a Leonard Pornette was jagging off to the tune of 225 yards

and Gardner, just for men's shoe, was the color of money down the stretch. Noah, don't you want, Fanta Fanta was extremely catchy and annoying to the Jaguar secondary. Hey, Teige. Yeah, boom. I call them Vic Fangio and four.

Good one, boom. Flacco battled back within a natsy lash of a win. Hey, Teige. Yeah, boom. I call them Joe and four, Flacco. Jaguar 26, Broncos 24. Okay, week four in the books, close to in the books. We actually are watching the fourth quarter

of Dallas, New Orleans as we finish their start to show. We all took New Orleans. So if we just yell out randomly during it and you fell asleep, now you'll know what's happening. Or it might be just because we have football Tourette's, which is, it's an actual thing. And then there's no real football tomorrow night. It's Andy Dalton and Mason Rudolph.

So judging by how little we know about football, it's probably going to be an awesome game. Yeah, it would be incredible. And they'll go off, both offenses will go off. And we'll just be like, that was the best game ever. I even jokingly said, I'm going to try to get some sleep, catch up up on some sleep. And then I laughed.

God, no, I'm not. I'm going to watch it till midnight. Two words. Yeah. AFC. Well, it's three words. AFC North football. Oh, these two teams do not like each other.

Throughout the record. They were actually, they were in the commercials. They were like, these teams, they don't like each other. And Antonio, Antonio Brown, Vontez, perfect. Mason Rudolph, just happy to catch a paycheck. Leavion Bell, Pac-Man, Jones. Mason Rudolph, by the way, I've, I've said it. And this will confirm it tomorrow night.

I don't care how good he is tomorrow night. If he does really, really well, he's not a starting quarterback at the NFL. I've seen enough of his face. Okay. I had noted, noted. Okay. So let's get into the games.

If you want to watch us, you want to watch this whole show, barstoolgold.com slash PMT. I think we have a bonus episode coming this week. Rubik's Cube Rubik's Cube master coming this week or next week or next week, one of these weeks, one ever. So it was awesome and it will be great to listen to. And Bubba's been trying to do a Rubik's Cube for the past month and he has not gotten it.

Bubba is sneakily like probably the best though, out of all four of us. Yeah. Well, I haven't even tried. I've just stared at it, hoping that it changes. Fuck no. Okay. So let's get into the games. Let's get into the game.

This was road team Sunday, 10 out of 12. Now we don't know the end of the Sunday night game, but 10 out of 12 those are sitting right here. Teams one on the road. It's also the end of the first quarter of the NFL season. Don't say that. As Bill Walton, well, not Bill Walton, as Bill Parsons would break it down.

Love you, Smith. You still love to say it. Yeah. Yeah. It's one of those football guy sayings that gets passed down. Cut it up into quarters. Cut it up into quarters. So it's a, it's a nice way to say when you really suck for a four game stretch.

Well, it was just the first quarter or it's a way to tell your team you're okay. Or if you're a three and 13 team and you're like, well, we went three and four in the second quarter. So that's pretty good. Exactly. All right. So let's start with the Titans and the Falcons. Ooh.

Falcons are dead. They are officially dead. DED, but there were some slick throwback unis today. I love those uniforms. Those uniforms are so nice today. I went against my own philosophy of betting on Mike Vrabel when he's an underdog, when the team, when people count out the Titans, that's when they perform and they perform today.

And this is also the theme. So it's road game Sunday. It's also, uh, is Marcus Marriota and James Winston, are they going to get new contracts? Cause they both played well because Marcus Marriota was very good. He played okay today. The, the Titans are a lot like Nashville. There's good Nashville and there's bad Nashville.

There's Dolly Parton and then there's Eric church. There's the Broadway with those two twins that make you pay for pictures with them outside of all the bars. And then there's winners and losers on the Vanderbilt campus. It's awesome to go get drunk at right. There's Whalen Jennings and there's rascal flats. Which one are you going to get this week? Turk Bentley probably has like his own themed, you know, he has a theme park probably in

Nashville now. Yeah. Don't go there, but there's probably a cool hot chicken joint. It's just exactly like Hollywood, except the rides are a lot worse and it costs more to get in. Last time we were in Nashville, we had Larry the bus driver with us and we got so high that I freaked out because Larry the bus driver kept on asking us to hang out and I started getting in my own head and I was like, is he going to, is he mad that he's not hanging

out with us? And I just pieced out and I, and I watched a terrible like Syracuse Duke game or something. Yeah. I ate a little shitload of hot chicken right before we had to go do a public event and I felt like my stomach was going to be itself. That was bad. Okay. So back to this game.

Mark Smariota, I have a stat for you. Oh yeah. He is the only QB who has started all four games. Oh, Teddy Bridgewater just got smoked. He's the only QB who has started all four games and not turned the ball over. Are you serious? Yes. He is the most boring QB.

I don't like that stat. Well, you know, at least do something. If you're going to play quarterback, I want a quarterback that makes me either terrified every time you throw the ball or really excited every time you throw the ball. It's also the old line of thinking I used to use when I defended Jay Cutler that not all interceptions are bad because sometimes you have to take a risk. Right. If your quarterback is not throwing any interceptions, that probably means he's a little bit of a

pussy. Right. It's kind of like the Kobe Miss factor. Right. Sometimes it's good to miss shots because it's more likely it'll take a weird deflection and then your teammate will pick it up. I also have a stat about the Falcons, the most maddening team of all time, all time. They had three turnover on downs in the Titans territory.

That's almost impossible to do. And then add on top of that, a miss field goal and a fumble in the Titans territory. So five times they crossed the 50 yard line and got zero points. So the red zone for the Falcons is expanding. It's kind of like Bob Jaco used to say, like, yeah, 20, 20, right? 22. Yeah. For them, their red zone woes are so bad that their red zone extends to the midfield

line. I swear to God, we watched this game and it was the Falcons would spend 15 minutes in the middle of the field, just getting first downs and getting penalties and going backwards and getting first downs and never going anywhere. And that is the Falcons to a tee. They're so frustrating. I'm so happy that they are my done chain team. I don't I don't think I don't even think they have like fighting them.

Dan Quinn needs to be fired and I like Dan Quinn because he will give me that joke for the rest of my life. But Dan Quinn is on the hot seat and I think Arthur blank is going to cut him out. He'll always have a job. If you just want to show up in Seattle, Pete Carroll is going to take one look at him. He's like, you can you can work on my defense of staff. We can we can use a bald guy with the goatee over here. I love getting mad at teams for not running the ball more.

Yes. I love just retroactively looking at that's me ball football with the total amount of runs for a team is and then getting pissed off about it. And the Falcons ran the ball 17 times and I'm mad. Let's forget about the fact that they're playing from behind because that's not what I do as a football guy. I'm just pissed off. They didn't run the ball.

Yeah, there's there are fans in all sports and they're all related. It's run the football guy. Yep. Throw it into the post guy. It's shoot the puck guy and it's probably like but to get the runner over guy. Those guys are all the exact same. They're cousins and they all hang out and have shitty sports takes together. And you know what?

I share a lot of their shitty sports takes because I oftentimes say run the damn ball. Absolutely. Yeah. No, it's just make contact guy. We need we need fewer guys that are hitting home runs and more guys that get situational hitting. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Why don't you just try to don't try to hit a home run. Hit it. Hit it to the opposite side of the field. Let the runners advance. Yeah. Bunt the ball. Something like that. Against the full switch.

Yeah. Right. Exactly. Get that post touch. Yeah. Just get it. Run the offense through your big man. So yeah.

The Falcons are bad. The jerseys looked awesome. Awesome. Although it's so funny that the peak of a franchise when I when I looked at those and I was like those jerseys remind me of the old Falcons. And to me the good old Falcons peaked at losing a Super Bowl because they're starting cornerback got caught with the hooker the night before the game. Correct.

The Dirty Bird. Yeah. The Dirty Bird Falcons. And they really shouldn't have even been in the Super Bowl because that Vikings team was maybe the best team to not win a Super Bowl. Right. But more. I'm in the Patriots.

Says the middle never changes. Right. All right. Let's go off to Buffalo. The Patriots beat the Bills. It was well it was a perfect Buffalo Sunday right down to the fact that someone got married at halftime and Jim Kelly officiated that was so that is so Buffalo. And I mean that in the most loving way like this was a huge day.

Bill's mafia showed up in you know was loud as hell. Their defense was awesome. They were in the game the entire game and they had someone get married at halftime and that for that reason Buffalo I love you. I loved it. It was perfect and it's a good player safety thing for Buffalo to if you have a wedding at halftime. Basically if you want your fans to stop bringing dildos into the game then you need to make

sure that as many of them are having sex with each other as possible. Here's what I don't know though. If these people get married at halftime of Bill's game shouldn't they by law have like open bar for everyone for a second half. The entire stadium. Yes. They should buy around for everyone in the stadium. Yeah.

Did they do the speak now or forever hold your peace because that crowd. Oh they were definitely some cucks in that it would have been entirely silent except for one guy sliding down a banister on the upper deck and falling off. Yeah. Hank thoughts on the game the bear the the Bill's defense and the Patriots defense were both incredible. No one looked good on offense and it was pretty much came down to the special teams the Bill's or the Patriots blocking a punt right.

So thoughts on Josh Allen getting hurt. It's tough to see but I mean that's just it was a football play Patriots guy didn't really do anything wrong. He was just standing there in his position trying to stop him from getting the first first down. Josh Allen runs so much like he does it runs well. I'll defend Hank for a second. It was a football play.

Yes. You're absolutely right. I saw it when the replay you showed us it looked like there was nothing that the guy could have done. It wasn't a dirty head to head hit but I was running with his head into but Josh Allen is so tall that like trying to trying to hit his head. It's like saying that you accidentally dunked. You also it also wasn't great because we're doing a live stream and you yelled hit him

and then boom knocked out again. That's a football chance. It felt like that is what you say when you watch the game. Yeah. I think he's my favorite is he's loose. Yeah. I think that if you get a return if you end up within a touchdown of the Patriots you should get a bonus point.

Yeah. I mean it was a nice game. It was one of those games. I have another game like this. So the next game which talk about but I it was one of those games that the bills lost but they go away from it being like we have something here you know like we can and Matt Barkley coming in he did the thing where I love when when an old backup comes in and like the first two or three throws you're like oh maybe and like oh it's Matt Barkley.

Just kidding. It's Matt Barkley. I'm going for that four thousand saying yeah that made no sense with the backup against the Patriots. Yeah. Just take the points. But you know what you you play to win the game. Where does Matt Barkley where does Barkley fall on the moximeter for today.

Dalton's six and a half. Yeah. He's he's he's a he's a California quarterback. That's a good point. Yeah. So he's suited for Western New York. It's a little bit. Yeah.

Yeah. One of those guys. But seriously shout out to the Bills Mafia. I'd like to see more teams doing like halftime ceremonies involving fans. Yeah. They should do divorces in New Orleans. Yeah. That would be good.

That would actually be like a bris at whatever double a baseball team Tim Tebow's playing on. Yeah. Tim Tebow just does the circumcisions at halftime of the baseball game. Yeah. All right. Chiefs Lions actually this was my other game where both teams can walk away being like you know what not so bad.

So Mahomes first game indoors to quote the great Andy Reed. Not all of Mozart's paintings were perfect. He's going to be on football guy the week nominee but that is exactly what he said after the game. Well I would fought win. I would step in and say probably none of Mozart's paintings were zero very good. Yes. Well no I bet you Mozart could paint.

He that dude could paint Mozart definitely painted people like oh that's really good Mozart because he didn't want to hurt his feelings now but when you're in the arts when you're like one of those artsy guys you have that you can do everything like artsy guys they can all play the guitar they can all play the piano they can all paint and and like do weird shit. You think you think Banksy can write a symphony. I think if you put a piano in front of Banksy he could he could knock out some like hot cross buns.

No if you put a piano in front of Banksy he would just like put a grenade on it and then walk away and be like whatever whatever key this falls on that's my symphony. He would draw a big picture of an elephant and then the tusk would be all the keys. Oh yeah. There you go. And then it would be at it. Yeah ivory and then Mickey Mouse would just be sliding down the tusk going and it would just be yep with it with a dollar bill hat.

Yep. There you go. It's like got it. We just Banksy. We just Banksy. Classical music right there. Boom. Done.

Someone draw that Banksy for us. That's actually a great thing. Do you think this was the highest BMI of any coach head to head matchup in the history of NFL. Oh man. I'll say this about Coach Reid though. He's never had an ankle injury. Yeah.

Because he's got he's got enough stability in his cankles. Those things probably wears prescription socks. Those things are like concrete like you know pillars that you just can't you can't move those things. He would actually be a great defender in an N one big state. Yes. Never get crossed. Never ever.

So yeah it was Matt Patricia verse Andy Reid Holmes indoor and as crazy as this sounds the Lions kind of gave this game away because they should have won it but they also prove that they're sort of for real because they kept my home to zero touchdown throws which was first time his career. Yep. First time his career and Matt Stafford I'm going to say this Matt Stafford outdulled Patrick Holmes. Oh it was crazy.

We're going to go there. We'll go there. OK. Patrick Holmes did not look sharp. He was missing guys. He was he was throwing guys like he looked OK. But he wasn't he wasn't Patrick Mahon. He also ran.

He ran a lot more this time. So there was that fourth and eight where the C's parted in front of him and he ran for something like 25 yards on it. He looked pretty good running. He was throwing a lot more to Kelsey underneath and by the way Andy Reid's been listening to part of my take. They ran the little lateral play from Kelsey to McCoy. Yes.

I'm telling you it's a future football. Yes. That one. Yeah Warren Sharp is definitely a consultant for the Kansas City Chiefs. Yes. My biggest issue is Matt Patricia end of the game. I feel like every week if you're a Lions fan you're sitting there and you're like this team is actually decent.

OK. So they can make some noise but you go back to the Cardinals game. They were very conservative in the second half. They basically gave that tie away. This game Chiefs final drive. They're rushing three guys on every single play rushing three guys in the NFL is the dumbest thing you can do. It's like you prevent defense.

You basically are just letting Patrick Mahomes pick you apart who wasn't even that good today. And so I hate when teams do that and I feel like Matt Patricia you got to tighten it up man. Tighten it up. I have an idea for how we can do that. OK. I feel like we're overdue for Matt Patricia do something like this. You need to make a beard bet with your players.

Matt Patricia I know you listen to the show. You need to say if we win a playoff game I'm shaving the beard shaving or dying it blonde. Oh that'd be nice. You could also do that or dying it Honolulu blue. He would look like the base tech Metallica if he did that I would be down for that. I agree with you. There also this was the fumble game five fumbles in one quarter. Yeah.

And it felt like every single time we looked up you just like what the fuck what the fuck. It was the game that in red zone that just yo yo's back and forth and you have no idea what's going to happen until the end. So we need to find out when does Pat Mahomes play indoors again because then we need to check it out because I do think he's allergic to air conditioning. They play the Texans this year maybe indoors. Check that schedule. We got to we got to figure out when Patrick Mahomes so we can fade him every single time

you're right. He's the reverse. Maybe that is his one kryptonite right his ceilings is the ceiling is literally the roof for Pat Mahomes. He can't handle the fact that he can't throw the ball like a million million yards in the air when he's throwing it deep to someone. He needs the sun. He's like a plant.

Also you put it out a very good plant trick. A very good point when we're watching this game PFT. The fact that the chiefs have all their wide receivers and single digits in the teens annoying. It's so annoying. I hate it. I hate it so much. That's really the great point. Yeah.

No it's absolutely. It was. It was a great point. They're all in the teens and they all have like shoulder shoulder length hair. Yes. It's so annoying. It's very tough for me to differentiate. Stop doing that.

It's Sammy Watkins and me Cole. Do we have the schedule. Someone find the schedule while you do. I'll tell you. There's no no more Dome games. Oh no more Dome games. Damn. All right.

So we'll have to wait to fade him till next year or the two goals outside. Indoors. No. Our outdoors. That's that. Yeah. Do you need the playoffs. No I don't.

I do not think so. Do you want to talk about the Colts. Let's talk about the Colts. Good segue. PFC. I know you did that on purpose. The Colts. Yeesh.

Yeesh. Yeesh. You let the Raiders go East Coast time zone and beat you. Yeesh. They did not have to I Hilton which hand up hand up. I'm a man of my word. I gave you the can't lose parlay. I gave that to you.

It lost. I don't know how it lost but it lost. I didn't realize till the third quarter when they showed to you I Hilton on the sideline that he was out. Well this was a recent thing. Okay. So you at the time when I gave you the can't lose parlay it could not lose. There was a material change between the time you gave me thank you lose and between game

time. Thank you. So we'll have to try again next week but it's all invalid if there's a material change. Yes. So the Raiders stole one from the Colts. John Gruden and Derek Carr back together. Michael and we had a tease of Michael and when we got those tweets saying Mike Leonard is warming up I got so excited.

And the other thing I wrote down is Vontes perfect is a fucking asshole. Is he allowed in London for next week's game. He's the worst. I'm pretty sure that if he tried to get a passport they would just be like I so we were making the jokes we saw that he was kicked out of the game I think he was giving people the finger and yelling at people and doing like theatrics as he went out. I didn't look up the hit until right before we started the show I wanted to do my research to see if Vontes perfect maybe isn't a total asshole.

Nope. He's a total asshole. Did you see it. Yeah he saw he saw a head and he was like I'm going to put my head on that head. It was it was he had to go out of his way to go helmet on helmet on that one. Remember the old Monday night football matchup logos that they used to do were just be two helmets crashing. Yes.

That's basically like a career highlight film of Vontes perfect. That was sobering to think about like thinking about what that was and how awesome it was and now and they used to smash yeah jacked up. The Raiders are a prime candidate for our little drill that we do here of see how many players you can name off the top of your head real quick and that's how many wins we'll have. So what is it. Five seconds.

Jacobs Derek Carr Mike Glennon Nathan Peterman Vontes Vontes perfect. Oh the guy. The guy. No the other guy. The other guy. But the other guy. Everyone's talking about him. Salman Salman.

No Salman. Oh Salman. Oh. An alec angle. Waller Waller. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

We got it. I think we ended up at about too many. We're I think in the time frame that was allotted we ended up at about six which feels right. They they are like their roster turns over so much that John Gruden said that he had just met the Z receiver that they had out there today. Yeah. He's like no I'm not I'm not kidding man.

Just met him. Just met him. Right before the game. Look me in my eyes. I said you can catch a football. So this is the Raiders are a perfect example of why gambling on the NFL is so stupid because that team stinks and they just went into Minneapolis and won. That's that team stinks and they won.

So road road game Sunday. Oh go we need a first down boys. It's it's third. It's the fourth quarter with two minutes left in the game and the pressure's on. Great uniform battle by the way in New Orleans and Dallas before we get to the next game. Quick word from our sponsor Thursday night football hello football fans are you an Amazon prime member. Did you know that you have Thursday night football.

That's right. Thursday night football has returned to prime video for a third season. The cool thing is you can catch all the action on your TV on the web or on your mobile anywhere in the world. You have to look up who's playing Thursday night football this week and the experience is next level with prime videos x-ray feature you can access next gen stats play history team information and now it's available in iOS Android fire tablets and fire TV and if you're ready to hear a new take on the game you can switch over to sport broadcast legends

Hannah Storm and Andrea Kramer for the play by play. So if you don't have cable simply want to experience a future of football tune in this Thursday coverage begins at 7 p.m. Eastern and kickoff is at 8 20 p.m. Eastern also available on Fox and NFL network NFL network simulcast subject to change Thursday night football is presented by Bud Light Platinum who we got Ram Seahawks Ram Seahawks again nice game very excited about check it out on Amazon Prime do that this Thursday I'm very excited for that as well. OK next up Chargers Dolphins say something nice about the dolphins dolphins had a lead

that's very the dolphins had a lead that's really nice way to go dolphins they threw Josh Rosen through a touchdown Josh Rosen minute they were winning he didn't have a Josh Rosen stat line today yes or progress well he was four four at one point yes yes there you go you want to go their stadium looks like a very cost effective and environmentally friendly toilet their stadium you can get in very easily because there's a lot of tickets we're running out of movie clips to show different ways that dolphins are getting slaughtered yeah and to be totally honest it's super depressing every single Sunday when we have to find something about actual dolphins dying say the dolphins put it in to yeah we need to do a save the

dolphin go fund me yeah they should just sell naming rights that are stadium green piece yeah so yeah the dolphins that was our nice thing about the dolphins that was a good segment oh Marlins man doesn't seem to be associated with you in any way that's really good because you're bad if he was if you were good he'd probably he would be and you can't stand out with what that Jersey right that's true that's true oh Teddy what are you doing oh Teddy sack out of field goal range you fucking idiots why would you do that now they're gonna lose they're gonna lose we're not saying that how do you take that sack we're not saying that how do you take that sack you know you know what's gonna happen cowboys are gonna win

by one point correct the money we're gonna lose all yeah right exactly I mean how do you take that sack Teddy Bridgewater congrats to Phillip Rivers he won a game going east I know he was not trailing in the fourth quarter he's just play every game against the dolphins I think he said something about after the game like they usually we usually suit ourselves in the foot when we play in this state you are right though the Chargers going east and playing in like the hot Miami Sun and winning is just a testament to how bad the dolphins are in an early game they don't win that game in any other year no they don't they do not win that game I can't believe Teddy took that sack okay they're gonna lose hey no they're

gonna lose they're gonna lose I'm telling you right now should we get to the elephant in the room here yes bears Vikings oh you want to do bears bike you want to hop ahead that's the late games okay yeah yeah well wait we're going we're going chronologically okay don't don't jump the gun we're gonna talk about the what about Mitch though we're gonna talk about all that would you rat would you want Eli no shut up all right that's good that's a good good way to get to Redskins Giants no I don't want fucking Eli chase Daniel is good uh Redskins Giants uh Daniel Jones dressed literally from Eli Manning's closet yes I cannot believe he showed up well actually I can believe he showed up like that but holy

shit he had a north face backpack he looked like he was taking the train to Wall Street he did as an intern at Goldman Sachs in the summer time hot seat Cam Newton because this is real swag is no swag they call him Danny Dimes because that's how much he spends on his wardrobe incredible look from him he he like time has gone by and they they just still have Eli mm-hmm except he can be mobile now because then Danny Jones Danny Jones can actually run and make plays with his feet yes he looks like Eli Manning with stem cell therapy yes like he's a functioning body that is contained inside Eli it is a fake injury to stop the Dwayne Haskins yes by the way mm-hmm yeah well so here's the thing they said all week

long J Gruden said all week long the season's not lost we're not going to play Dwayne Haskins just because but Hank the Giants are playing their rookie quarter but we're not going to do it right he was on the wall Hank I could see it from mile away so something happened in the first or second quarter where John Grun was like our J Grun was like yeah the season is officially lost I agree with you that is a terrible terrible way to have your rookie quarterback your first round draft pick enter the season why not okay good good good organization lets their rookie quarterback start after a bye week yeah right lets them get and get into the flow feel like they're they know what's going on get first team reps

decent organization lets their rookie quarterback start and lets them know on Monday morning so they get the first team reps and they get the game plan and the install and everything like that like shitty but oh shitty just shitty level organization gives their their rookie quarterback half time to know that they're going into the game takes a little red skins don't even do that no they let them go into the second quarter they don't even give them half time okay we need to say it was 15 minutes it's very clearly a case of Dan Snyder picking up the red emergency phone that he keeps unreal he just has a cell phone he has a special cell phone in his pocket that spray painted red that he uses to call the coach when it's an emergency and this

was frankly it was it was bad it was a very bad way to put him in I will spin zone and say this was a trap game for the red skins yep so a divisional opponent with a rookie quarterback you probably underestimated him so I'm going to chalk this one up to a trap game fortunately next weekend we've got the Patriots at home to get back on the actually that's a trap game for the Patriots next weekend let's do the new thing we're doing guess that line gtl okay gtl jim tam laundry guess that line I'm going to say where is it Redskins at Redskins yep I'm going to say Patriots minus 17 and a half I'm going to say I'm going to say 15 and a half 13 and a half whoa well I'm going to get very rich damn way off I was way no that's my guess oh oh would you have it no who has it

16 16 there you go okay so none of us I won I had 15 and a half you can't go under I bought the extra half point though okay got it yeah by the way that was a great job of gtl check this out the Redskins I don't know so you're very obviously not going to keep Jay Gruden right you have a murderer's row of potential interim head coaches on the defensive side of the football you have jim tam Sula yep and you have Rob Ryan yep either one of both of them roll both of them out there together make either one of those guys would be an awesome interim head coach terrible head coach yes but for one week give me jim tam I like that just like making his players roll around on a bed of glue and thumbtacks all week to jimbo getting out there I fucking need it we need jimbo out there

all right so there's 34 seconds left in this game hold on let's finish the Redskins Giants and we'll watch the rest of this game uh drill peppers nice game also I realize that everyone now is calling a guy who is going to be he was actually like in the Heisman conversation when he was at Michigan um he is now just referred to as guy in the Odell trade yep that was what everyone was like hey remember the guy in Odell trade I think the Saints just scored a touchdown which would be huge because I took them second half as well show me that score bug update I took them second half as well give me the bug give us the bug give me the bug bug careful bug if they blew this dead I might get the chair call give me the bug get ready bug give bug give me the bug

Collins word bug bug and that's gonna be uh not a fumble in complete pass damn it's okay uh so Jibril peppers who is the guy in the Odell trade now really nice game and the Giants defense played very very well now I don't know if that was because of Dwayne Haskins but uh yeah they played very well which was the first time in a very long time I actually read somewhere someone someone wrote like this is the best Giants defensive performance in 10 years which seems incredible it does seem incredible until you like to get away that for uh who they're playing against yeah uh okay we're should we just should we pause the show for this last play let's pause the show for this last play well there's a few more players this last try well hopefully this is the last play second

out at 10 hopefully this is the last play get them get them oh oh yes okay you can oh no there's a flag second and 20 25 seconds left deck you suck deck you suck you suck you suck you suck oh no that he drew like quadruple coverage that's an old killing more special right there oh the dome is rocking it's time to ask if the if the shine is coming off killing more this was a classic game that we said it before they've beaten nobody I think the cowboys are good but be wary how about Jerry Jones on bourbon street are we sure they're good okay it is second and 10 two seconds left last play of the game dachshund shotgun we have 10 personnel 10 personnel on the field you don't really see oh they blitzed I love that I love the great blitz didn't give him chance

knock it down when knock it down good play call all right boom game over two reasons gonna hurt his thumb giving a thumbs up uh hey moneyline moneyline saints felt good good job hang way to go everyone again this was another game where I don't think I saw Jason Garrett talk the entire game I don't I don't think that he speaks during games good game boys way to go okay let's get back into it that was great felt good I don't know how much we'll use whatever you want to actually talk about that game real quick let's talk about that game real quick cowboys saints this was we were talking about it beforehand this is a classic case of cowboys well I think they are a good team they have played no one and so having to go to the dome the dome is different you know that

is a tough place to go and their offense looked pedestrian and they're running a master class the saints on why you should actually pay a competent backup yeah because Teddy Bridgewater now has a win in Seattle and a win at home against Dallas Drew Brees can come back in a month and they will still be in striking distance of of their all their goals right you just need to quarterback to tread water for the time that Drew Brees is going to be hurt and they showed him before the game he was doing thumb exercises is like that's the thumb wars that's got to be a sick injury to come back from just Drew go home and play video games yeah or just literally thumb war all your seven kids but now your daughter because you don't include her no yeah that's right anything real shame yes uh

they're definitely going to be doing that motorcycle celebration in the locker room afterwards yeah okay so speaking of the cowboys overreaction it's a good segue to the next game we got the overreaction bowl the Browns and the Ravens so the Browns were dead after Sunday night football Freddy kitchens we all had our laughs the Ravens were anointed one of the best teams in the AFC after beating the Miami Dolphins and the Arizona Cardinals and playing the Chiefs semi tough although it was a lot of garbage time you come out there and it's like oh shit this is why it's hard to predict the NFL and week to week a team that just wants it more which it seemed like the Browns did can look completely different they actually ran the ball and now the Ravens are looking at giving up

over a thousand yards total in the last two weeks and their defense sucks that's a very nuanced take big cat but nuance doesn't play in the big leagues i'm going to give you a much easier take the Ravens are frauds Ravens are hot Ravens are frauds hot fraud fraudulent football i don't know what fraud means in the context of football team really but it feels great to call a team of fraud uh i was told that the Ravens would be great and i heard you say this earlier but there's some truth to it that when you see the color of the Ravens jerseys on defense you think that they're going to be good just because they used to be Ray Lewis it's the exact same principle of why we keep electing Kennedys and Bushes right you see the name oh there's another one oh yeah let's put that guy in

office he won't fuck everything up yeah that's stability worst thing he'll do is is run away from a car crash start a war yeah yeah that sort of thing so it is kind of confusing seeing the the defense look really really bad uh especially against the Browns that whose offense didn't look great over the last couple weeks but they ran the ball but should we how much credit are we giving to Rex Ryan for this for for letting a fire and it's what i tell you last week true Baker needs to be pissed off yes and he hasn't been pissed off recently and like we said the meatball they ran the ball the job was awesome they ran the damn ball they established the run and everything went off of that yep and i so let me ask you this Odell Jarvis Landry was awesome

he got i think in custom third quarter he was awesome until that point Odell did not have big numbers but it's a classic case of if Odell's not on the field everyone else doesn't eat because everyone's covering Odell and they're putting a lot of attention on him do you think Odell is okay with that week in and week out not quote unquote eating am i not do i think the pussy videos you had go viral not that one do i think that Odell is going to be pissed off because he doesn't eat eat i think yeah well i think it's going to be more mad that he has earring ripped out that was a tough break that does suck he got pinned to the ground that was bound to happen he wasn't wearing too much jewelry he was hanging out with the Kardashians

didn't he date Chloe for a little bit that's a big Kardashian thing get your jewelry stolen i don't think so i think you might have made look that up i'm 92 percent sure that i'm right that he at least has had sex with somebody related to the Kardashians mm i don't think look it up look it up if you did that's then i'm a fraud then i'm a fraud okay look it up i have a prediction check that Hank i have a prediction john harbaugh is going to be giving a lot of postgame press conferences where he explains why math is correct yes he went for two he's a math wiz yeah one of our new math wiz is where it's so awesome we're when i explained it to the people we were watching with everyone looked at me like i was i don't actually know the

statistics behind it but i just know if you're down 14 and you score a touchdown go for two yep and then whenever it says that's so stupid and then i say haha no no no no no no no no is more than 50% chance you're gonna get one of the two point conversions you idiot i would just always go for two always go for two he got it yeah because but then the then the brown scored like seven more touchdowns i feel like the media landscape's changed enough where if you just go for two all the time everybody would be like that's a great call i love that guy he believes in his guys that's what he does he believes in his guys analytics and he hates kickers he's an analytical coach yeah he's going for two and going forward on fourth down it's true it is the tides have changed

where if you just get aggressive the nerds on twitter will back you up and the dumb fans like ourselves will be like well there's some kind of math behind this i don't really understand so i'll just trust it i'm used to seeing coaches or players kick field goals after touchdowns so why are they not kicking right that's insane hank no not dating no but not dating there was pictures once where they were just talking to each other wow yeah yeah every woman you talk to you had sex with your well i mean damn he didn't talk to lina dunham and he didn't have sex with her damn well yeah that was a bet they don't like each other they will lina's probably not drafting Odell on her fantasy she doesn't like him because he didn't hit on her he swerved her yeah no it's

curved he curved swerved what's swerved curved what's swerved curved stopped her swerved nope not american history acts uh shout out that great movie also i want to have a word with whoever introduced the harbaugh brothers to transition lenses yeah oh yeah that's a big thing yeah they both of them now are wearing the the glasses that turn dark all the time yes depending on their mood on how far behind they are in a game they get progressively darker yeah i want to see a new millennial coach rock and google glass on the sidelines cliff cliff kingsbury i bet you will get that hear me like it's some telecast will make us do it i want to see freddy kitchens wearing google glass on the sideline yeah that would be perfect he would be so confused he'd probably get

vertigo whooped he'd probably he'd probably convince himself he had vertigo yeah like dude they're not even on don't worry about it um all right oh ready for this ready for this statement go there cleveland browns are in first place for the first time since 2014 good job cleveland there you go cleveland and they're rocking the neon browns every week it's gotta feel great that they're back because it was that that sunday night lost the rams we're going one and two big road game coming up against the ravens now you're two and two you're feeling good no matter what the rest of the division is kind of trash no matter what happens uh in the monday night game they're still gonna be in first place correct yeah and you you still went on the road in baltimore

right and you still get to play the bangles and the stealers four times i love that so let's go let's go in front of you uh okay next up the game that redzone forgot we talk about this all the time but there's always one game on sunday that redzone just forgot because there's no exciting plays they play in the middle of the field you have to actually say to yourself oh yeah that game's going on you know which game i'm talking about tell me you're talking about the the texans and the panthers yes i don't even think they played it i don't they should play no place that that game and then also the chargers dolphin's game they should replay those games in their entirety on tuesday and wednesday night and say they're live say they're live nobody would ever know the difference

they would absolutely not know all i know is i saw a couple times a couple highlights and it was basically just christian mccaffrey being awesome and ron revera has like his wet dream team now in a weird way now the cams out they can just like make christian mccaffrey he's touched the ball 37 times that's awesome 37 27 carries 10 10 receptions that's sustainable and just play some defense that's it just like hey one guy's good just make sure he has the ball half the time and then play some defense and then have luke keekley make 17 tackles and that's ron revera football baby thomas davis still out there no he's not okay well yeah luke you need to do actually 24 tackles yeah luke can you break your arm and play on it because our defense

kind of thrives off that kind of spark i did also see that the shan watson didn't go home after the game he went back on to the field who and got some extra work done i'll get carted off i i'm gonna say this right now jj watson that it was pissed off he probably just drove out of his driveway and sped to the same he's like no one's gonna outwork me i need to go stand on the field to shan watson oh please save to shan watson uh he got sacked six times so yeah he's getting smoked that does suck it does easy he's getting killed he gets killed every single game and uh this is why we cannot trust the texans even though i was ready to trust them last week they go and do this and they lose to a team they probably should have won a beaten at home and to shan watson gets

fucking crushed again because their offensive lines sucks yeah kyle allen also lost three fumbles yeah and that but does he have small hands i don't know i don't know what those sabermetrics are but i think that he was also drafted in the sixth round so it's between him gardener minchew and luke faulk to see who the new tom brady is i might have just made that up about kyle allen oh he feels like no he was undrafted i think he does have small hands okay yeah does he really what i had nine and three eighths yeah he's yeah there we go probably people ask them afterwards if his hand size has anything to do with it and he said that's a really embarrassing question to ask the guy but it's also correct yeah he's like alex smith of the south your hands are small dude

that's i didn't know that i never would have been on the panthers if i had known that also uh bill o'brien ran maybe the worst trick play in history i didn't see it was about the level of creativity you expect from bill o'brien it was uh i think it was a reverse but then a pass across the field that your wide receiver threw across the entire field and it was probably the easiest interception of ever see that makes sense yeah it's perfect he's like trying to be like doug johnson except i don't think that yeah bill o'brien he watches good coaches on television and he's like i'm a coach i can be a good coach like that guy too but he just has zero creativity someday when i grow up i'm gonna coach like that guy yeah because he's never gonna get fired no he's the general

manager what is he gonna do fire himself he has everything in houston um pfc i have a ck question for you okay promo code take ten dollars off ck question go to a game go to a fl game ck question is james winston good i think he's reached the point where we have to ask the question of bruce arian let me give you a ck good let me give you a ck question right back okay did bruce arians finally get through to james winston i we watched that entire game and the ram's defense was terrible but james winston was good and he even was doing the things like you could count on james winston every say he did throw pick six which is almost perfect like hey remember this guy i'm still in here he gave us a little little taste of that but he did the thing where like james winston

back pedaling arms flopping everywhere doesn't throw a pick and like what's going on mike evans is going on mike evans is going on remember he had godwin is going on godwin is going off going off and on and uh yeah i don't i don't really know what to make of these bucks i think they're just going to be in fun games every week you know how i'm going to file this one they're coming off a long week so they had a day dimes they had oh shit i forgot about that week yeah oh you were thinking i was thinking about the other week they've had no you know they're coming off a long two weeks yeah last week was off a long week and they overthought it and now now they're back in now they're back in their normal swing of things in their routine so they're able to game plan properly

yeah okay god so they're feeling the normal they're getting back into the saddle they're they're feeling good about a seven day schedule as opposed to uh a 12 game schedule i love when i love when these random games break out where it's just a big 12 game in the nfl and it was uh awesome to watch shack barrett has nine sacks through four games nine that's a lot nine that's insane and jarragoth threw for 517 yards he had a pretty good game that's all i saw yeah dude for throwing for over 500 yards you have to be really good that's pretty impressive like really good Hank what are your thoughts on that that's very impressive yeah i don't i didn't see any other part of his stats but 517 yards that's a lot i bet bruce and i think i saw a stat where it's like

he was six and one against other number one draft it's like that's just the odds you know sometimes it comes the other way that's right that's true that's a good point i bet bruce arian's fucking hate sean mcvay just a feeling i get from him like two different styles that coach entirely like sean mcvay has a photographic memory bruce arian's drinks paint to forget the lifetime that he spent in clinton yeah yeah bruce sean mcvay has his perfectly manicured beard bruce arian's has that bright red face that looks like he's eight whiskies deep at all times yeah that matches the uh the tint of his sunglasses that he wore today yes yes those sunglasses were so swaggy yeah yeah well here's a here's a downside to sean mcvay you know the old saying like this

guy's forgotten more about football than you'll ever know no one will ever say that about sean mcvay because he remembers everything that's true that's not cool the other thing that the bucks have going for him and this is going to sound stupid because i feel like most teams have this but for some reason if you have a coach that was recently fired on your staff as a defensive or offensive coordinator i just feel like you're cheating because you have more brain power you have two head coach yeah when i see todd bowls i'm like whoa they have they have a shitload of guys great coach yeah but he got fired for a reason right well but my brain says oh my god they have so much they they have so much going on here like they have all these head coaches head coach caliber

guys it's incredible their staff is loaded you're like a movie that's got uh like gling close uh doing a cameo in it you're like oh she's won an academy award this must be a great movie right like he was a coach he someone hired him as a head coach now he's our defensive coordinator that's awesome counterpoint wade phillips is a coach of the rams yeah but that no i think the same thing neither defense played particularly well it was a yeah but then yeah but there was it was one of those things sometimes games just get out of hand all can't reign it in also it's just you know it's not the same you know it's just it just gets out of hand it's great to see uh we got byron left witch on the sidelines yep quarterbacks coach yep it's so when byron left which skinnier now than

james is yeah when byron left which goes and gets i think he's actually offensive coordinator now when byron byron left which gets uh a head coaching job and then gets fired two years later and then comes back that's just more brainpower i like i'm gonna be like holy shit now they're just now they're gonna win the super bowl you know how bruce arian's was saying he was psyched to get a c on his health test yes is it possible that he's dead and this is a weekend at bernie situation where the team is being run by tibes bulls and byron left witch yeah and arian's is rocking bright red sunglasses so no one can see his eyes i mean i i don't think that you could be that well except for the fact that he fixed james winston that's true yeah he has fixed him well he's gotten through

to him yes he's gotten through to him all right let's go to bruce arian's former team the cardinals seahawks cardinals yuck uh this game was over almost instantly jadavian clowny with a pick six and then it was like okay this game's over so the only thing i wrote down was did you know that the cardinals do you know the cardinals kicker's first name no zane oh that's sweet you can't win with a kicker named zane i think you can't he missed like a bunch of kicks you can win with a kicker named zane you can't win with a quarterback named zane no you can't win with a kicker named zane when you when a zane goes for the game winning kick in the fourth quarter you're not making it not to be great for berman though it would but listen zane and the member

when you say when you say yourself like hey zane's coming out i think his name zane gonzalez because zane gonzalez is coming out for the big kick no uh uh okay it doesn't sound right not to go off on a whole chase tangent but zane does sound like a guy that that rides like a go ped and sells weed to surfers yeah zane has uh frosted tips even though it's still not the late 90s anymore and he probably has a pacifier in his mouth because he's just so high on molly all the time zane's zane he's making mashup stoned in his basement of crazy town in the beetles yeah and saying hey you gotta you gotta check this one out yeah and zane is definitely dating girls that are like 60 like zane is that girl 16 you're like no no dude she's she's told me she's uh 18s like zane yeah i don't know

zane she drove over here yeah she dude yeah yeah she she she drove over here with her uh with her mom's minivan yeah she's no she's definitely yeah zane i don't know dude i'll say this i would not let a guy named zane do my taxes or hang out with my children or kick but i would let him kick no cardinals i feel that's a safe space for zanes zane is the how much damage here's could a person named zane due to the reputation of the arizona cardinals franchise here's where zane is if you want a zane in your organization zane is the guy who makes the smoothies next to the to where you lift in the fucking facility that's zane zane is your pseudo nutritionist who will also slip you some steroids yes that's zane yeah okay you see you can see how that zane i can but it's one of

these things where it's no harm no foul it's the arizona cardinals i would not expect a zane to be a kicker for a reputable franchise our stats our stats department just texted us zane was the browns kicker for the own 16 season okay that's zane yeah i don't know how it didn't register but zane is not a kicker that you can you can't win with a zane and if zane listens to the show and he's at awl i take back everything i said what about a chase picket can you win with a chase well you won't do the chase i had a couple more notes about that game okay other than zane other than zane believe it or not luke wilson yes or he he hauled in wait two of the most chillest catches in nfc west history he didn't score a touchdown he didn't but he had two sweet catches

because a seahawks titan scored a touchdown he jumped out of here and see you're like is that luke i thought it was luke i was excited but no they were just like they're real nice relaxed catches they were nice luke's back baby it is what it is it's not what it's not and then i've i'm starting to draw a little comparisons to take that i'm working on right here i think the stars are going to fall in line on this as we keep exploring a little bit but i think that russia wilson is football stef curry russia wilson is football stef now follow me on this he's a little undersized mouth guard they're both undersized they both wear wax shoes their wives are more attractive than they are uh they have championships but neither one has a finals or super bowl mvp they both lost

their teams a championship on a last second shot slash pass and russell mount russell wilson's mouthpiece had there's some tom foolery going on there is he sticks it in his helmet all the time and so when he's running around if somebody hits his helmet or if there's a head-to-head collision it goes flying like a little mini flag letting the refs know that they should throw theirs i'll be honest to you i don't hate it except for the fact that my brain can never make a basketball football crossover unless it's a tight end okay like i can't i'm just i know i know i'm following i'm following he's got that booty yeah he's you know he's tough to bring down stef curry in the pocket would get smoked so that's where if you just want to go tight ends okay

former seahawks tight end jimmy graham used to play basketball is dream on green yeah okay i'm with you the warriors have many basketball players on their team yeah please keep it simple okay i'm just saying there are going to be more things that fall into line i'm i've got a whole okay pay silvia thing going on put that in an articular file okay uh you want to do the chase game chase daniel let's talk about chase let's talk about chase chase daniel is a quarterback a winning quarterback well he got the bears are back he got the quarterback save the quarterback save so they were winning when he got in and they were winning when the game was over okay so chase daniel now i don't know how i'm gonna phrase this um well let me start here addition by subtraction

no no let me start here i said i said this i said this like last week or the week before this is this bears team is a parody of every bears team ever ever my entire life this is the bears team they play good defense there's a quarterback that everyone's like the whole city's like i don't know i don't know and then to add on all of that we now have the backup come in and play well and so we will get calls to ESPN one thousand and six seven to score and people saying you gotta play chase daniel he's the quarterback chase daniel is a good backup quarterback chase daniel can run the offense i actually think that the way chase daniel plays will be complementary to this defense and the fact that if you saw the first half i think the vikings

had two possessions chase daniel is just gonna hit like four yards four yard slants and four yard outs and hand the ball off and the bears will control the clock and play defense and win games ugly and that is chicago bears football and now that we have the backup in it is the perfect we have like completed the circle for the perfect chicago bears parody season that is taking place right now i think that chase has a lower ceiling but a higher floor i would agree with that then mitchell does yeah no he's not gonna make mistakes he's not going to lose you the game but he also the problem with chase daniel is if the bears ever get into a game where they have to score and have to throw the ball downfield he's not going to be that guy but if you're talking about winning games

in the middle of october and winning with your defense chase daniel is perfectly adequate to do that right so do we want to apologize to chases because we put them on well some might say that we motivated chases last week yeah so yeah okay we can add a list of one thing that chases can do and that is be a backup quarterback on the bears also chase daniel uh i had i had a long time uh series that i used to write about i think i had the the the starting five all uh all fat face team and i'd updated every year back when i used to blog chase daniel hall fame fat face good fat face that guy very he's not fat but his face is very fat yes his face is always round and you know what we were getting to the point where it would start to break out the it was time to start

breaking out the word anemic when talking about the bears offense i always love that because that's one of the only big words that talk radio show hosts know it's like aberration and anemic are the two big words yep and the bears offense was looking anemic and today they exploded with one touchdown with one touchdown for 16 points is that what they ended up with yeah it's good one yeah so this is the new look bears we are we're fucking crushing it now i think that every time a starting quarterback gets injured instead of the fox in the film music they should play the succession theme song as they're taking off the field yeah i like that no but seriously in all honesty i think chase daniel's a fine backup you you you are correct that like in terms of making mistakes having games

where mitch would have those games where he would like it looked like he couldn't even see the field i don't think chase is gonna do that but if the bears getting a shootout they're fucked whereas mitch at least could maybe give you a chance if you know he was making plays with his feet they're just gonna have to rely on their defense and good thing is they have the fucking best defense of the league and we're missing roquan smith and akim hicks today and didn't even miss a beat killed kurt cousins our guy i don't even know if he's our guy but nick quick kowski who is west virginia linebacker remember him uh-huh he played for roquan smith and he was awesome he just got a great name quick kowski yeah and uh kurt cousins i feel bad for you bro i don't really i feel bad

for you bro i don't you see his beard that he's growing after the games he's growing a beard and he was wearing like an old timey outfit like he he looked like a bartender that would serve you an overpriced cocktail that you would absolutely hate who does who do the vikings have next week because i'm sure they have someone terrible i'll say this he's gonna just fucking crush him there's also trouble in paradise working right now between thielen and kurt cousins so after the game adam thielen said at some points we have to start being able to throw the ball downfield so they're about to enter into the most passive aggressive war ever those two it's going to be like uh they're going to be leaving notes for each other yep hey man uh i saw i noticed that you read through my

copy of chicken soup for the coach's son's soul uh but i was actually reading it you didn't put the bookmark back in the right place they play the giants next week okay so that's actually a game that kurt cousins won't probably know in new york that could be a get right game that could be a get right game it could be they it's very funny though i mean i think most like i have a bunch of friends who are vikings fans and i was texting with them in the game that they hate kurt cousins i don't know if any vikings fan likes kurt cousins but it's just days like today are a reminder of just how much because he can trick you and then you got to be reminded that oof not on the field yeah yeah no no he can in random games he'll have a game where you know everything would be going

right i'm gonna list off the top of my head the teams that the that kurt cousins would beat the shit out of okay there's the raiders the cardinals the dolphins they would beat the dolphins they would beat the breaks off the redskins they would beat the jets the bangles they would beat the bangles and i think that's about it so we should schedule those yeah so those are those are teams that kurt cousins should be circling every year on the calendar um i did the thing where i look back to some of matt nagy's old quarterbacks to see who he's going to bring in as his backup jay color because right now they've just got to recone right jay cutler is on there he's on the list you would obviously want jay back uh the really there are no real options because his backups most recently

were pat mahomes oh um we should bring him and alex smith we should bring him in so you'd rather have pat mahomes as your quarterback than mitch babisky uh yeah i would interesting you didn't get me on that okay no i've i've said that okay got it i mean would would i be like would i would i have any credibility i wanted i said differently i want to double check uh and then people could stop tweeting me that now so the the list it's literally just a random tweet now i i i think i tweeted like something about the saints game and someone said oh no i tweeted about arch manning who's going to be a quarterback in the nfl for 20 years as an archman is going to play in the nfl for 20 years isn't he first reply yeah and mitch mitch won't even play for five because he sucks

dick that's it's well said i can't go on twitter anymore it's well said uh some team hopefully this is what washington's doing and they're making dummies out of all of us are going to be tanking for the next five to six years just so that they can get arch manning as a quarterback let the tanking process begin right now but so i went back to matt nagy's quarterbacks and it's slim pickings it it basically you have to choose between vince young and chat hennie those are hidden in those those are his uh backups also you could get uh rg3 well cap we're gonna have that weird situation here because the bears have to go to london so they have to get on a flight probably monday or tuesday and they have to get a backup quarterback in almost right away yeah so that

will be fun is there a quarterback already over in london that's just hanging out pierce morgan yeah he could do it he terry cayne just goal line set he only scored from five yards out haven't been a fullback that's a little soccer joke for everyone i get it i get it's coming home yeah football is coming home uh so yeah the vikings i feel like the vikings are i don't know what they do now well is it because because week one they looked awesome then they almost they should have beaten the packers look awesome week three and they got the shit kicked out of them this they do have the done chain on so it weighs heavily around the strength of liking neck uh just one point of order this has been irritating me for a while i don't think that it should count as a sack if you

sat if you strip somebody if you strip a quarterback and you don't tackle them i and i know that forcing a fumble counts as a tackle technically i just don't like the idea that a player gets credited for a sack when they cause a fumble and they don't tackle the quarterback that's it that that might be just me on that all right we'll put that down um we i've noted it okay thank you yeah i have noted it uh all right last game we have jaguars broncos min shoe mania yes is so fucking real that guy that guy it's moxie yep when he gets the ball in the fourth quarter and they need to go you know whatever 60 yards for the for the for the uh field goal to win the game i don't think anyone doubted that he was going to do it no he's going to do it you want to know

what he makes me feel like right now oh yeah yeah go ahead yeah i'm gonna close my eyes and think about garden mint you he makes me feel like lighting an ant hill on fire by puking 151 on it and then flicking a marble red oof that's garden that'd be pretty sick let it for net he makes me feel chugging rumple mints out of a pinzoil carton there you go that's gardener min shoe that's gardener min shoe gardener min shoe his dad is going to go to every game and just be a beef cake everywhere he makes me want to circumcise myself with a guillotine okay that's enough uh let it for net was awesome and broncos fans i don't i don't know what you do that's a rebuild well fly listen that's a rebuild dude that defense john always struggled against the jaguars at home

too yeah people forget about my player game yeah uh listen flacco has had two game winning drives that his defense gave up so i'm gonna say it's problems on the other side he wasn't bad and the defense actually had a sack for the first time in the season but what do you do if you're like what are you gonna they might be the team that just loses very close games i guess maybe you can convince yourself like hey you know the old saying like first you you lose big and then you lose small and then you start winning that's that's what liars tell themselves right because what actually happens is first you lose and then you get a good quarterback and then you win then you win that's it's a very simple equation yes i was being facetious talking about jo flacco he didn't

play bad he didn't play bad today but he's he's not good but even that even what we're saying right now tells you that it's just like you got to restart everything the fact that we're sitting here in their o1 form we're like but jo flacco didn't play bad we're settling for him that's what we're doing we're settling he's a he's tall he's uh on paper he's great but you know what he doesn't make me feel alive when i look at him unlike when i look at garderman shoe and he throws that like double fake screen pass to the seam route yep and it feels like listening to it feels like what listening to free bird feels like ooh okay being the drunk guy at a bar saying play free bird and and then having them actually play it yeah that's what it feels you feel like you're in charge of

yeah yeah i want to make an announcement real quick done chain broncos yes i'm in i'm in on that done big time done chain broncos let's see anyone else to get the done chain this week done chain broncos for sure i mean we haven't done chain the really shitty teams but i feel like everyone knows who's done chained in that respect my two done chains this was a coincidence but they're both teams that cut cowsloader yeah you're just following that's a coincidence all right yeah i mean we don't even have to count like the cardinals the redskins those are all already been done well they're gonna say the season's not lost yet those are implied done chains but done chain broncos i'm in on that uh before let's let's do who's back of the week before we do that it's officially fall and

you know what that means it's crispy boy season there's nothing better than waking up on a crisp fall day and grabbing some crisp bud lights this year bud light wants everyone to experience crispy boy season on game day so they're sending college football fans to some of the biggest rivalry games in the country winners and their three friends will be traveling in style on their own private jet sheesh to enter text fly away to shortcode seven eight eight nine six or go to bud light dot com slash game day fly away full rules available at bud light dot com slash game day fly away that's an awesome deal that's an awesome deal you're going on a private jet to a game there's nothing better than that text fly away to shortcode seven eight eight nine six or go to

bud light dot com slash game day fly away there's no reason not to set up to do that so do it right now thanks to our friends at bud light all right who's back of the week hank my who's back of the week is Kanye West teasing more music but never actually coming out with it oh what do we got what we got what do we do he was supposed to come out with an album he said it was going to come out like early september and then he pushed it off then this week he said it was definitely coming out friday friday said it's gonna it's supposed to come out at noon so it's gonna come out at eight then at eight so it's gonna come out on sunday what time zone hold there it didn't didn't really matter because when he said it's gonna come out sunday it has not come out still do you think he

has like a hank in his life that he can blame no if that happened to us we just like that's hank but i think it's him being like it'd be like me being like all right guys it's done and then you being like well no no no no no scratch that start everything over or like i don't i don't know what's going on well he's doing sunday service you can't expect him to work on sunday what about you think it's one of those situations where he keeps saying it and then he just hasn't like he hasn't done anything he's just waiting for it he's waiting to like the mood to strike him and make the music potentially who i don't hate that though it's like that's what the guy from the uh the dragon show game of thrones is doing right with his new book oh uh rl tolkien georgia hermark georgia are talking they're probably

hanging out in new zealand together just doing massive amounts of blow and not fulfilling their obligations right which sounds pretty cool okay so are we getting the new music or i don't know i i mean like today maybe hopefully it's kind of fucked up though kim kardashian like the most most eyeballs in her the most fire booty out there and she's she is like spreading this propaganda fake news it's just like all right she's answering for him she's saying yeah she's the one that's like guys like hey guys like i know he said friday but it's gonna come out at eight and then there's like hey guys he's just finishing some things up it's gonna come out on sunday a couple oblos what's so funny about about that whole family and that relationship is we would all forget

tomorrow about kanya's new music all kim kardashian has to do is take a picture of her butt yeah and just post it on the break the internet and just be like look hey look at look at my butt and everyone forgets about music look at this butt on the internet you can't find porn anywhere on the internet but check out this butt that's so stupid i almost broke the internet having a fuck breaking yeah it was fucking it was a butt she has a butt that would launch a thousand ships it's a butt with champagne on it it's a good butt great yeah you know it's a better butt one that's in porn kyle long's butt his butt looked great in the locker room when he was changing yeah his butt people didn't talk enough about the fact that his butt looks his butt looked

great uh my who's back in the week is marquel folds footage so uh there have been some grainy photos and videos emerging of him down in orlando where he remembered how he could shoot again nice so yeah looks really good and i love this never ending saga behind a shot because i think we've had he's had a shot fixed what six times now five times yeah something like that all broken since we had him on the show yes that's right maybe do you remember the old redskins cheerleader that got a flu shot and then she couldn't walk anymore she was but she was faking yeah she did the thing where she couldn't she was like running bat that was the funniest video ever yeah she was running she could only run backwards uh-huh because she got a flu shot and now now she's

totally cured yeah because she was faking it the whole time that video maybe mark i'm going with that theory is that marquel folds got a flu shot yeah and that's why i forgot how to don't vaccinate nope don't vaccinate or spay or neuter yeah okay don't use paper straws either anything else no just marquel folds uh practice footage okay my who's back is conflicts and the nats and nattoot is back nattoot is back nattoot is back they're playing tuesday night and they i'm rooting for you i hate the brewers so i'm rooting for you uh okay my who's back of the week is conflict two conflicts one as a conflicted sports fan joe madden was fired not re-signed so it's a little nicer than fired and you get stuck in that spot where as a sports fan you're like that guy's a legend

he's the greatest cubs manager of all time but it also was time to go when he goes in the hall of fame is he going in as a cub yes i don't know if he goes in the hall of fame but you know what i mean when you when you when you let a guy go and you're like he was literally the best manager that you that i've ever watched managed the cubs but he also couldn't manage the cubs anymore he had to let it end he was the perfect person for that one series of events that took place but i also it's so lame i i maybe i'm just become so pessimistic on like online culture but like the thank you joe shit come on he's not reading it are you gonna burn his jersey no i'm not gonna burn i love i love that i'm gonna do the thank you note i love how baseball managers have jerseys

that you can yeah hell yeah that's awesome i'm gonna do the thank you note and at the last second i was first reported by who uh lee roe the doc yes uh anonymous or yes exactly who also reported i feel like i should clear this up because you've been getting questions about it yes about mitchell's health yeah you're reporting lee roe is a reporting injury news i was just dangerous it's pro football dog like pro football doc and he just from the eyeball test never talked about another man's health i'm not well i'm i'm i'm making a diagnosis that i hope isn't i'd be happy to be wrong if you do injury news you now have to do the injury news when someone gets carted off no but that guy will walk this is one injury that that i that i have a specialty in so if somebody

breaks their foot walking or if they have a dislocated shoulder or in lee roe's case if you develop glaucoma in both eyes during a game we can report on this using past experiences he dislocated his shoulder and then he was just laying on this on the sidelines and then every time that happens you're going to be out for three to five weeks probably so is you not me right no me and lee roe we had a conference so far got it got it one brain one heartbeat but no new no no actual reporting just brain this is from from your brain we're just giving lee roe brains got it yeah got it all right my other conflict civil conflict the end of civil conflict uconn and ucf played their last civil conflict game and if i'm reading off twitter correctly

uconn had 21 unanswered for the huskies to close out the night wow so they probably smoked them file scores 56 21 oh okay shout out uconn for that tweet that was such a great tweet way to go it's have a good good sense of humor 21 unanswered close out the night game just ended too soon is this the uh the last that we'll see of this yeah because uconn's leaving the a c or whatever the fuck they are in and uh it's sad because it's the greatest trophy that ever were uh bob diacco just deciding that that ucf was their rival making a trophy game calling it the civil conflict where you had the capitalization of the fl and the ct fortiverse connecticut and then scott frost just leaving the trophy on the sideline because he's like i don't i'm i don't acknowledge this

this is stupid i think we need to find find the trophy that it's lost that trophy needs to exist in the part of my take studio if you if someone delivers us the actual civil conflict trophy you will get hank no summer internship no questions asked okay but it has to be the real one i don't know how we'd verify it has to be there are ways to do that carbon dating you will get the summer internship no questions asked on the spot unless you've murdered someone yeah we're gonna do a deep dive into your social media we will have to do a little background check if you've done anything really really bad then there will be questions asked but otherwise no questions asked but if you're don king and you bring it to us you can be

your intern even though you've murdered somebody correct okay fact um okay because you served your time if you've murdered somebody and not paid your debt to society yet right then you will not be a summer intern for us right fact so bring us that trophy uh okay before we get to another football guy the week pft you got something for us i do i want to talk to you guys about peloton tread i've been on my peloton bike but peloton isn't just exercise bikes and it's fall fall is all about getting into a groove after a busy summer it's christian girl autumn so you're gonna want to look nice and spelt when you sip your pumpkin spice lattes and you put on your thigh high boots this year set bigger goals and feel more accomplished with the peloton tread

add miles and build strength all without the commute to and from the gym it's not just another treadmill the new york times says the peloton tread is like having a personal trainer come to your house whenever you'd like runners runners world says it's a gorgeous hip new york city gym in the comfort of your own home and it's a go-to training tool i was actually going back and forth with booger with the old boog mcfarland on uh twitter mobile earlier today twitter's got a or uh booger's got a peloton bike me and him are going to start a biker gang and we're going to compete against each other it's going to be great i'm going to get leather jackets and shit made up for it's going to be wonderful but if you don't have the peloton bike and you're in

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it's got the calories burned the total output distance and heart rate you're going to be able to push yourself to new personal best you never thought possible no matter where you're starting from you can also earn badges and save tracks that you loved from your workout so workout work up a sweat with world-class instructors who are running walking stretching or lifting right by your side the motivation is real time it's crazy crazy effective discover the new immersive and challenging total body training you get from peloton tread peloton is offering listeners a limited time offer go to one peloton dot com use the promo code pardon to get a hundred bucks off accessories with the purchase of a tread go to one peloton dot com use promo code pardon

and this opening segment to football monday is brought to you by zip recruiter hiring can be a slow process you know that there's a company out there called cafe altura and their coo dylan miskovitz needed to hire a director of coffee for his organic coffee company but he's having trouble finding qualified applicants so he switched to zip recruiter zip recruiter doesn't depend on candidates finding you it finds them for you its technology identifies people with the right experience and invites them to apply to your job so you get qualified candidates fast dylan posted his job on zip recruiter and said he was impressed by how quickly he had great candidates apply and he also used zip recruiters candidate rating feature to filter his applicants

so he could focus on the more relevant ones and that's how dylan found his new director of coffee in just a few days and with results like that it's no wonder four out of five employers who post on zip recruiter get a quality candidate within the very first day see why zip recruiter is effective for businesses of all sizes try zip recruiter for free at our web address zip recruiter dot com slash pmt that's zip recruiter dot com slash pmt zip recruiter the smartest way to hire oh shit we gotta respect the biz real quick from dan handsis who's that who is that he follows me nfl.com he said come on football twitter no succession spoilers bits during Sunday football respect your working comrades thank you i agree with that i'm also two weeks behind on it yeah don't

do that keep that in mind don't do it don't don't don't do it because it's awesome yeah yeah uh okay actually cut all that out hank because people are going to spoil us for that yes you could call we'll do god damn it please i mean i mean i've i'm already i'd hate it if people this is gonna be a terrible and awful thing this is an impossible situation disgustingly we're working comrades i agree i'm gonna go home and watch it you should not spoil things for we're working comrades you guys would never do a new show i'm gonna go home and watch all of it yeah that's fine i'll get a 20 year old show we wouldn't don't yeah i got you guys don't worry football guy of the week we got a great football guy of the week set up will must champ number one

will must champ that sweaty dog he won a football game and he said afterwards it's been a shitty fall i got more gray hair than i've ever had my wife doesn't like hanging around losers i've been losing so it ain't been good i love this i love football guys they just love their wives they love to bring in their wives they love their wives so much yes football guy because they have two parts of their life they have being around football guys and then they have being at home with their wife and there's no in between form they just go back and forth back and forth and it's always like they always refer to it as football in both sense like spaces so it's i'm the head coach here my wife's the head coach at home she calls all the shots yeah right she doesn't like losers so we haven't been

having sex i don't think will must champ has sex if i'm being honest it's so much will must champ that's a waste of time for him yeah all right then we have next up ravens defensive coordinator don martin dale who said he lost four pounds during the week after watching chief's tape three times and he threw up all three times well done you know the browns he got the browns tape coming up so he might be pregnant too like jail and ramsie and he's also gonna he's gonna keep losing weight with with the tape that he has to watch every single week if you puke three times that seems like it wouldn't be four pounds four pounds seems like a lot of puke for thrice well he did it right after eating like a full meal oh this is probably three separate days that he

watched it correct okay and he kept on watching it and got you i got the stomach flu it's called patrick myhomes all right uh andy reid the aforementioned andy reid saying not all of mozart's paintings were perfect mm i mean which is probably true yeah he definitely thinks that way too like he did he someone was like hey man you know it's not mozart he's like what were you talking about mozart that guy like he did the and then michael angelo did those symphonies yeah well here's the thing with with mozart it's almost not fair because art is right there in his name true so you can't blame andy reid for for thing andy uh he wrote claire de la lune which you should know because that's what randy moss did in lambo field when he pulled down his pants

disgusting disgusting disgusting act yeah uh and then last up we have iowa fullback brady ross after his first career td he said to get in the end zone is cool frankly i'm more proud of some of the blocks i made mm football guy big that is that's a great list a great list brady ross that is the ultimate iowa fullback name uh speaking of that we should quickly just touch on some college football there wasn't that many like big big time games but we had the big time uh maryland and nebraska do they belong in the big 10 weekend maryland canceled class on friday wore black and then didn't score a point they got bagled which i love saying by the way to get bagled i think nebraska should have worn black that should have been the move at home the black shirt so

nebraska on the other hand they had game day everyone thinks nebraska's back they were ranked at the top 25 and nebraska fans are gonna get mad because i'm picking on them i want nebraska to be good it's fun we've said this before it's fun when nebraska's good they've got absolutely shellacked by ohio state and then the other big story was uh clemson is still undefeated so they should be number one of the polls clemson is going to go all the way to the national championship or the college football playoff without having to play one impressive game because the acc stinks counterpoint to be the man you gotta beat the man and you know what's gonna happen they're gonna win every game by a single score and they're still gonna be ranked number one and then pittsburgh's

gonna make the acc finals against them and lose by like 100 you don't think it's uva it's always like some team it could be anyone but it's it's gonna be a team that they'll just kill they'll just kill it doesn't really matter who they know it does not at all it does not although bronco is a sweet asset how long does bronco stick around in charlottesville because charlottesville is not a bronco town here's my problem with uva i watched the game notoday of uva you know how which i love because we were talking about scorebugs earlier when the score bug will like flash with your team color candy ass uva can't win a big game okay any ass that orange that that it's candy ass well what about the like candy ass neon green for notoday it's candy ass no no no no no name doesn't

do neon green what mbc doesn't do that for them i've seen it green but they don't do neon neon it's kelly green it's borderline neon the orange that uva puts out there is candy ass they will never win a big game i have said it and so it has been said okay there it is would you recommend they turn it up to like a neon orange like a hunting vest orange maybe i don't know what they gotta do but i just kept on seeing it i was like this team's never gonna win okay i just felt it and sometimes you feel uva is one of those teams that has felt like they're overdue for a logo redesign you never got around to it yes they're still rocking like the 1999's right right why don't you boost that up give give your cavalier a little swag christ what you got a lot of time on your

hands why don't you pay for like a new graphic designer down in charlottesville all right let's do a couple segments in a monday reading well first up we have a just chill out man for patrick chung so what was this pft so last week he uh put a post up on instagram about his son coming in on him well he was in the bathroom well no i should i should let him speak for himself okay patrick chung said i took a smelly crap this morning then i made my son come in there and tell him i love him before he went to school he tried to hold his breath but i made him say it back moral of the story son don't snore in my damn face all night love you got him got him got him that's a classic guy trick that's some old school dad's boy come smell my crap yeah that's some good

stuff i like that'll teach you to sleep in my bed with me and love me and come to me when you have a nightmare yes that yeah you'll be a very well adjusted uh adult but if that's what patrick chung's leaving her bathroom nowadays that's an improvement that's a tmi if that's what he's leaving behind yeah true instead of something well now it's long and brown instead of short and white well i would actually argue that patrick chung never has done a short line of cocaine whale tails what they call it might be thick yes oh and they're big yeah just a little bump and run coverage yeah big time gotcha all right and all you think i can't even remember what this is for oh halftime show the uh guest for the alleged surprise guest mystery

guest for the halftime show at the super bowl in miami pitbull i don't know how this got leaked this this seems like a major major security issue pitbull's people leaked it yeah it was most obvious yes uh you think oh you think i'm glad because pitbull was going to be heartbroken if he was not included in the city's biggest dolly festival of all time and he wasn't there to be the dolly leader i wouldn't be i would be opposed to them instead of a halftime show just doing the intro to ballers and like having rock walk around that's not bad either he might be part of it i'd be cool i've always like to think about what pitbull used to do for his concerts when he was coming up like when when pitbull first got started and decided he was going to be a musician his singer like his first

small concerts in like a dive bar with two people in it yeah does he get on stage and and wear tuxedo and blast music and just jump around and get the people going like the two regulars at the bar mm-hmm old-school garage band pitbull is a very interesting story that i would like to see told at some point i just i just realized something the super bowl in miami michael ervin's not going to still have his job at NFL network after that well he's not gonna sleep that week that's can you imagine what like the parties he's gonna throw him and warren's all yeah all the old miami guys yeah they're personally gonna think the super bowls for them they're gonna be like oh this is a birthday party for me yeah yeah no you're you're right i i think they need to room that's a reality

show that needs to happen is warren sap and michael ervin during superbowl week jesus christ hopefully get a jeremy shockey you know sighting or something like that yeah thank god killin winslow's incarcerated yes that's yes you can say that again uh all right let's finish up with a monday reading we have triple h coming on wednesday huge interview huge interview we got back to back huge wednesday is coming because we also taped with gary bucey today and holy shit is that guy awesome it was cool awesome all right monday reading my boyfriend categorizes everything as virgin verse chad and it's annoying okay so can i get a little help on this one yeah i like i like to think that i'm pretty steeped in the meme culture this one is a little new to me bubba do you

do you know this one all right so it's virgin verse chad these guys both like get the fuck out of here all right so virgin verse chad look it up real quick i'll start okay i'm on it we've been together three months early on and i know it's all kind of early because three months he told me he loved virgin verse chad memes fine i think they're kind of funny and he's definitely not he's definitely not an a misogynist he's dated women before me too so not an incel okay all right check and check so you can't be misogynist if you have sex with women yes or an incel so that's the check and check all right so basically a virgin verse chad is you versus a guy that she told you not to worry about right but the virgin has glasses and he looks down avoids eye contact struggles to find comfortable

hand form bad posture so he's a virgin backslouch and then chad is he's got like a mohawk he's an alpha and he's an alpha as shit he wears a cool singlet okay so lately it seems like he might take this meme more seriously than i thought he's always joked about it like when i told him i liked white claw he said virgin white claw versus chad mad dog and it was pretty funny that place that is pretty funny yeah but lately i've seen him asking me was that a virgin or a chad thing to do okay for example he's trying to find a good place to take his new co-worker mail to lunch they were assigned as buddies that's by the way that's a virgin move right there and he asked me if dim sum was a virgin or a chad move i'd say lunch is a virgin move yeah lunch you gotta go unless outback that's a chad

move uh busters for lunch is a chad chat total chat sometimes when getting dressed he'll ask me if his outfit he chose was a virgin or a chad outfit i love this guy this guy literally only thinks in memes you know it's great he's like devolved existence into a binary system yeah which makes things a whole lot cooler and a lot simpler a lot is just an awesome by the way uh just making everything a virgin versus chad that's a chad move that's a chad move uh he believes sneakers are for virgins so he'll only wear dress shoes or flip flops crocs only it was funny as a joke but it's starting to get annoying i told him that the virgin versus chad meme is meant to be funny and it shouldn't actually dictate his life and he called me a virgin normie

contrasted with a chad meme devotee this is so good okay no no you're such a virgin it's pretty cool like when you can call your girlfriend a virgin yes that's alpha that's a that's such an own not the way you think it is but yeah it's a cell phone is chad the same as an alpha yes i think so uh i told him i don't want to have sex with someone who's this obsessed with a meme and he told me sex is for virgins that's pretty funny that this chat is awesome it's pretty funny this guy buster guy would be like best friends i i think she's upset because she just doesn't operate on the cool wavelength yeah she just doesn't get humor she also definitely but she probably then is now saying it like in her real life with her friends she's saying it like

incidentally because she's saying yeah yeah but i just love him but then in her life is probably like when her friends ask her something like oh no that's the chad move yeah but he imagine but him her being like i don't want to have sex with you if you keep thinking this way he's like good sex is for virgins imagine going to a couples counselor and trying to describe this issue that that you're having chad's just jerk off into the toilet all right no chat dude chads are no fat yeah that's true you gotta get that testosterone just absorb all the sperm that are inside and you gain their power great point great point pft at this rate it seems like we just aren't compatible but when he's not going crazy over this meme we actually have fun together that's when

he's being a virgin by the way yeah when he's not when he's not talking about chad's is there any hope for him to figure this out in therapy admittedly it might be hard to get him to go because he thinks people go to therapists or virgins and therapists are chad my boyfriend has grouped literally everything into virgin verse chad it's maddie that is a catch 22 because you want to get him help but that's a total verge move by you to talk about feelings right what you have to do you have to you have to speak to somebody that talks his language so the chad equivalent of talking to a therapist would be calling into our podcast or calling into a morning talk show on the radio call call into whatever city that you're in call into their morning the guy hour yeah yeah this is the

man cave we're here to talk about nuts yeah in between football all right let's talk about your nuts yeah sounds like you're chad you're on line one you're chad on line one nuts aren't getting drained because you're a virgin yeah damn chad or verge wearing hey chad quick question you wearing flip-flops right now cool um yeah you're you're screwed i would just lean into it and uh actually no you know what you need to do the only the only solution here is you need to introduce him into more more memes like you need to get him on a new hot one deeper into meme culture you know what if you get really invested in the chad versus virgin meme too he'll think that the chad virgin meme is virgin yeah he'll think chad becomes a verge yeah well no he'll think that that meme is a verge right

so he'll have to move on to greener pastures at that point so you can get him off that pretty easily i think that we should just talk about quarterbacks compared to their backups as chad versus virgin chad versus verge uh jacksonville garner minchott chad chad it pulls the verge chicago mitzvah miski nope no verge no no wane haskins verge chastain he's ketan also verge colt mccoy verge alex smith verge jay gruden chad chad absolutely he's too dumb to be a verge definitely definitely a chat all right uh that's our show triple h wednesday get excited love you guys that was such a chad move by you i know no verge verge those are you yeah chad pft chad big cat verge jam having a big actually having a baby is the biggest version

of all time there's one shout out to one guy who like four or five years ago on college game today just came with a sign said big cat is a verge and it was just very fucking funny and it was like is that true and i was like dude i got owned yeah and that was it gotta take your lumps when the meme game sometimes all right love you guys love you guys oh i already said it you can repeat whatever that's fine that's verge move so talking away i don't know what i'm to say i'll say it anyway today is another day to find you away i'll be coming for your love okay

shine away i'll be coming for your love okay needless to say i'll just say it but i'll be somewhere a little way it's better learning the life is okay say after me i feel better to be safe and sorry say after me i feel better to be safe and sorry things let me say yeah is it all i've got just to find a better reason why you are things i've got to remember be shy and i'll be coming for you anyway be shy and i'll be coming for you anyway

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