Pardon My Take - NFL Week 5, Fastest 2 Minutes, Duck Hodges + Big Ben’s Apple Watch

Episode Date: October 7, 2019

Week 5 is complete and we do the fastest 2 minutes (2:51). The PI penalty challenges are so dumb (8:46). The Colts stop Mahomes in a blueprint game (12:47). Teddy Bridgewater and Kyle Allen are going beyond treading water (17:35). Danny Dimes needs a dumber face and defending Mike Tonkin. The Bears stink again. Deshaun Watson was incredible. Aaron Rodgers owns Skip Bayless, and George W sat with Ellen. Who's back of the week and football guy of the week (87:23). This league with Daryl Morey's tweet and We release a statement as NBL owners. Talking baseball and recapping the playoffs plus a very weird Monday Reading.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, add free on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, football. Football and more football. Football, football, football. Our guest is football.

We're gonna break down every single game. We're gonna give you the fastest two minutes. We're gonna do Football Guy of the Week. We're gonna talk a little baseball. We're gonna talk a little who's back. We've got a lot for you on a Football Monday. And we're brought to you by the Cash App. Pardon my take.

It's always brought to you by the Cash App. The Cash App is the most powerful way to spend and save. And Cash App wants to help save you guys from those bad beats with the all new hashtag Bad Beats Monday. Cash App is gonna pay out as many AWLs as possible. You use the hashtag Bad Beats Monday.

All you have to do is tweet about your Bad Beats. Use the hashtag Bad Beats Monday hashtag and tell us your cash tag to get hooked up by Cash App every Monday during football season. You spend, they save you from your bookie. Use the hashtag Bad Beats Monday and tweet it at us. You already know the Cash App is the number one finance app in the App Store.

What you might not know is that you can also put Cash App in your wallet with the Cash Card. It's the only debit card that offers instant rewards and comes packed with premium features. Even a credit card can offer like boosts. You can get 10% off your entire purchase at DoorDash and even save every time you shop. At Whole Foods or Target,

plus more of your favorite places, check out all the boosts available to you right from your Cash App and use them instantly when you swipe with your Cash Card. Cash Card has no fees and a credit check isn't required to get one. Just instant savings when you add a boost. Cash App is also the easiest way to buy, sell

and deposit Bitcoin. Most Bitcoin exchanges take days for a bank transfer to become investable through the Cash App. It takes seconds to invest as little as $1 and boom. You now own Bitcoin. Welcome to the club. Download the Cash App now through the App Store, Google Play Store and get your Cash Card for free.

Download the Cash App with Referral Code Barstool and you'll receive $5 and another $5 to go to the ASPCA. A true win-win. So download now. Okay, let's go. Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence

and then a lot of stuff work to be done. No pistol hand, no washing and then I can't live all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna run down to electric avenue and then we're taking higher. Oh, we're gonna run down to electric avenue. It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports. Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App.

Go download it right now. Use code Barstool. You get $5 for free, $5 to ASPCA. Today is Monday, October 7th, week five. Five. What? What? What?

What? What? We start in the Meadowlands where the locker room had some hurt feelings after Kirk Cousins went on his fucking podcast and apologized. Teague, he wasn't advertising for me undies as Cousins and Thielen are a couple of tidy whiteies.

Dalvin Dane Cook is running angry because Kirk Cousins is stealing money from the Vikings every single week. Elijah Penney and Danny Dimes made enough loose change to make Pete Carroll watch this game film more than once. The Vikings are back on track, 28, G-Men 10. The New York Football Giants. Whip, whip, whip, and Houston, where Will Fullerhouse said,

how rude to the idea of single coverage on Sunday to the tune of three touchdowns. Have mercy. Deshaun Watson broke the Falcons defense down step-by-step for reporters after the game and Dan Quinn, Suzanne Summer, may be starting soon as the Falcons could be looking for a fresh start and to be better the second time around.

As Deshaun Hunter Watson was the hottest guy in town, the Falcons Super Bowl run was so long ago I watched it on my dinosaurs. I'm the baby, God I love me. Texas Truffle, 50 Bertha, 53, Falcons 32. To Nash Vegas where the bills take on the Titans, a music city miracle rematch where a young Schwam was in attendance.

Look at that hair, Tige. Denial isn't just a river in Egypt. It's also thinking you have a decent kicker as Cairo missed several Egypt shots and fortunately Mike Vrabel's dick won't be looking like the Sphinx's nose if the Titans keep this up. Hey, Tige. Yeah, boom.

No one circles the pyramids like the Buffalo Bills. Bills 14, Titan seven. Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick. In Pittsburgh, Devlin Merrill Hodges led the team back to a normally large tie in a relief appearance after a concussion that was greatly overblown by the media according to these pseudo science papers I have right here.

Mark Laura Ingram couldn't believe what the whistleblowers overheard when the Steelers elected to kick in overtime. After a Pittsburgh fumble, Justin Tucker Carlson's field goal drifted far enough right for the win. Raven's 23, the Steelers 20. To the nation's capital where Tom terrific came to smoking Jay Gruden's house for an easy W.

Julian Adeleman was rolling in the deep secondary as Josh Gordon Lightfoot made a wreck of the admin Fitzgerald of the Redskins secondary. Tom Brady seamlessly ordered a touchdown as Ryan Lizzo made the Redskins defense 100% his bitch. Pat Petra is 33, Redskins seven. What, what? I don't know if that's how Ryan Lizzo does it.

I think it is. 100% his bitch. In Carolina where we had a back alley cat fight as the Panthers and Jaguars were two cats rubbing up against each other on a Sunday afternoon. We call that scissor and boom. That's hot. Christian McAfrey was a holy trinity rushing for 176 yards

receiving for 61 and throwing for zero interceptions. Reggie Cinnabonoflin added the cream frosting on the win with a late touchdown. Gardner Minsoonai saved everything the Panther sent his way until he threw up a Hail Mary that was batted down by Puke Keekley. Panther 34, the Jaguars 27. Across the pond we go where Chase Daniel Ratcliffe

had the Bears offense looking like a muggle until they entered platform nine and three quarters at halftime coming out looking like a tri-wizard champion. But the Bears came up short in the most heartbreaking loss since he who shall not be named. Cody Parkyboom. Yeah, that's, we shouldn't name them. That's why we shouldn't name them.

Looks like John Gruden isn't so dumbledore now as the Raiders are eating high off the Hogwarts. The Gryffindor Raiders. 24, Hufflebears 21. Whip! Pfft! Whip! Oh, that made me laugh

cause I didn't understand any of the references. In Dallas where stocks are up for Aaron Dow Jones, Amariah Alexandra Cooper told the Packers defense, call me daddy, as he gobbled up yards like a voodoo clam and suck and fucked his way to 256 yards. Aaron Rogers said to Danica Dacktrick, we may like each other, but don't think you're getting a ring on my watch.

Up in the box, Jerry Jones invited George Bush, but the Packers had put down that W and hold this Ellen to generous. Packers 34, Cowboy's 24. Standing on the corner, James Wister, Temple, Florida, such a fine sight to see. It's true praise, my lord,

and his thumb still soars. Show me your tenies, I'll give you Marty Grubbies. Come on bridge, water, don't be a thick gutter. You've got a third leg, people are calling you, Teddy try, putter. Saints call marching, 31-24. We finish in a sloppy game in Kansas City

where an injured Patrick Mahomes is on the field. He barely has an ankle, but we're gonna go down to a better. Well, first of all, I want to say thanks to all the equipment staff for the red units tonight. I was walking around feeling like an ice cold glass that hides.

Unfortunately, we were the ones playing catch up until we won. Gosh dang, my ankle really smarts. They got that sucker off, taped up like a dang mummy. I feel, I feel a mobile on it. It's a little weird playing my first game outdoors after playing one indoors.

I got distracted looking up at the night sky trying to figure out which one's bigger. Orion's belt, or the one Coach Reed wears around with all the knee gadgets. All right, week five in the books while we still have Monday Night Football. I do that every single week. We're gonna recap every game.

Yep. Before we start, we're gonna start with Sunday Night Football, but before we do that, can we talk about the fact that PI flags are the dumbest rule the NFL has ever done? I think it was put out there as a trick on coaches to see which coaches have the least amount of respect

for the officiating crews. They're like, oh, you're gonna challenge it? Well, guess what? We're never gonna overturn it, except there's gonna be one passenger appearance that's overturned in the playoffs. In the playoffs, yes. A major game in the playoffs.

They're going to totally switch the rule books on us at the very last second, and it's gonna blow everybody's mind, but they're not changing anything. You're absolutely right. They're gonna do one big one so that they could say, see, it works. The system works.

But holy shit, is it dumb. It slows the game down. There's never, ever going to be an overturned. They might have been one already, but I feel like I haven't seen it. And every single game, it feels like there's two or three times where a coach is like, should I challenge?

Should I not? Then they challenge. They never get it. That one in the Dallas Green Bay game, which wasn't passenger appearance, but then the minute they show it on slow motion, everything looks like passenger appearance. So they're never going to undermine their own crew.

And it's the dumbest rule change that they've ever done. It was so knee jerk from the Saints fuck up, which we said at the time was a huge fuck up, but also like a once in a million, you know, shot fuck up that didn't need an entire rule to fix that. I think if it happened to any team, except for the New Orleans Saints, they wouldn't have changed the rule.

But even the NFL was like, you know what? We fucked over this franchise a lot. If we don't make it look like we're doing something, we might have a riot on our hands. We might have a full scale riot. The Saints fans were putting up billboards in Atlanta for the Super Bowl. Who knows what the next step would have been

if they didn't change something. So it was, it was very reactionary to that, but that's what the NFL does. Of course. They're extremely reactionary to everything. And so they're, they're putting on a kind of like a facade of yeah, we fixed the problem. The problem was never that big to begin with.

Well, cause like a judgment call, it's tough to go back and review it because you're right. You could call it on every single play if you wanted to. I actually just realized what they did. We're so stupid. Of course they did this because what they did was they created this rule that's even dumber than the miss call in the Saints game

in the NFC championship game. So now in the off season, they can remove this rule and then say, Hey, we're listening to people. We're changing things. We know how to adapt. When really they're just adapting to their own fuckup that was a reaction to their initial fuckup. It's genius.

It's genius by the NFL. This never would have happened if Jeff Fisher was still in the competition committee. Yeah. I'm just saying that like if Jeff Fisher was still involved in some aspects of the NFL, this rule change would have never been implemented. And while we're talking about rules.

He knows that he can't find his own challenge flag inside his pocket. He would have lost all of them. And while we're talking about rules, I really, this is gonna be a hill I'm gonna die on now. The rule that if you have like an excessive celebration or a, you know, block in the back or something on an interception that gets negated,

it shouldn't count. That shouldn't count. If the interception is negated, everything after that should be negated. It should be, if you're, yes. If you're a defensive player and you see a flag down it should be the exact same as if you're Aaron Rodgers and see that there's an off-sides penalty.

International waters. You get a free shot. Yeah. So if you intercept the ball, you can do whatever you want with ball. You can stick it in your pants and pretend to hump an official. You can punt it into the stands.

It doesn't. Do whatever. It doesn't make sense that if you intercept the ball and then you have excessive celebration and then they say the interception never counted, the celebration shouldn't count because you wouldn't have that. Anything that happens after the flags down doesn't count at all.

Okay. All right. That's enough of us just yelling mindless rules that we can't change and have no impact on. My only regret is that Lovey Smith was not around to totally screw up all the pass interference challenges because he would have figured out brand new ways to mess all that up.

Yes. Absolutely. Okay. So let's start with the Sunday night game. The Chiefs are in trouble. I think the blueprint is out there for the Chiefs. Well, it was hard. To beat the Chiefs. It's injured Pat Mahomes. Well, it's injured Pat Mahomes,

but I want to, we have to give a ton of credit to the Colts because running the ball the way they ran it and also just credit on the season. The fact, I don't know many franchises that could have their franchise quarterback, their career court, you know, their quarterback for the future.

You're hoping for the next 10 years, retire all of a sudden and be able to hold everything together. And the Colts need all the credit in the world for good leadership. I'll say it, Jim Mercer, but it's probably more of Chris Ballard and Frank, right? But I'll give you some credit, Jim Mercer.

I'll give you some credit, Jim Mercer, but that is what good teams do with a solid foundation with a GM who's been empowered and a coach who's been empowered. And Frank Reich is on my list of coaches that you love to bet on because he's aggressive throughout the game, but they need all the credit in the world

because I honestly don't think there are more than a handful of franchises in the NFL that had their quarterback retired three weeks before the season would have been able to put together what the Colts have been able to put together. And of course, it's week to week. They lost to the Raiders last week.

They beat the Chiefs this week. The NFL makes no sense, but I still think they need credit because what they're doing, they have an identity and they stick to it. Consider this us crediting, Jim Mercer, for the first time on the show. He put Ballard in place, Ballard stocked the offensive line.

The offensive line has five road graders on. Quentin Nelson is just dominating people. They have probably, I think I saw like 10 plays tonight where it was just scripted for Quentin Nelson to just blow the defensive line off his feet and then get to the second level immediately. And they are really, really good on the offense. They can run the ball on anybody.

They can pass protect and they've got some good receivers. They've got a good running back. They're actually, yeah, I know their defense was banged up a little bit today, but the Colts are really, really fucking good. And Frank Reich, I mean, he's got to be, he's got to be in the conversation for Coach of the Year at this point.

Oh, you're gonna give him out? First quarter. No, we're doing quarter. Quarterly awards. Second quarter. Frank Reich gets the first quarter of the second quarter Coach of the Week award from me. Absolutely.

All right, so the Chiefs. I'm, I don't want to overreact because obviously they're fantastic. No, it's incredible, but we have to overreact a little. My question to you, PFT, are they a regular season team? Because this is my favorite thing about football when you have a team just be like, Hey, you know what? We're just going to man you up.

We're going to run the ball. We're going to control the clock and we're going to play some defense. And now Patrick Mahomes injury. Clearly he was hampered. You know, Tyree kills out there. Everything changes. I think Sammy Watkins went out.

But I do love this dynamic. This is why football is the best sport because you have like incredible offenses, incredible teams. And then you can, you can basically say, Hey, if we just decide to just play like man old school football, we might have a chance. Right.

Probably not every time. Right. We might have a chance. It's grit versus glam. Yes. You're going to try to score 50 points on us. Tell you what, we're going to run the ball. We're going to run the ball.

And then we're going to run the ball some more. Quentin Nelson rocking to run the damn ball hat. Like you're wearing right now. Run the damn ball. It's bully ball. It's kind of like the old, it's the old Peyton Manning Colts teams who would put up, you know, insane stats in the regular season and then get bullied in the post season.

I've got another team that I'm going to talk about later that I think fits that bill pretty well. But yeah, the, you know how we always say that the trick to beating Tom Brady is hit him. Just if you can rush with four and then hit him with four, beating Patrick Mahomes, the book is out. It is actually just keeping the pocket. Keeping the pocket and make sure you sprain his ankle

like multiple times. The injury had something to do with that. But if you're going to hear a lot of people say that the trick to beating Patrick Mahomes is keeping in the pocket, and I think that that's real. I also think that there might have been a little bit of a bag chemistry going into this game. Because if you saw earlier this week,

Richard Sherman and a few other, not Richard Sherman, Anthony Sherman, and a few other players on the Chiefs, they tweeted out Travis Kelsey's phone number. Oh. Do you see that? No, I did not. Yeah, they just, they said wish him a happy birthday because this is his birthday.

And was it actually his phone number? I don't know. I wish him a happy birthday. He didn't respond to me. OK, so. He curved me. So the Chiefs have the Texans next week. That's, you just got to bet the Chiefs.

Points though. But no, you got to bet the Chiefs. You got to bet points. Yeah, but you got to bet the Chiefs because you just have to take whatever overreaction you have. And I just basically buried the Chiefs, even though they're not. And remember that next week Patrick Mahomes

will throw five touchdowns and we'll just forget everything. So they're not in trouble. But it's one of those things. Keep it in the back of your head. OK. Because you know who else can run the ball? The Patriots. Yeah.

So if they play each other in the playoffs, which we all expect, will the Chiefs be able to figure this out? Yeah, if it's in New England, it's going to be tough. OK, let's get to the rest of the games. Bucks versus Saints, Teddy Bridgewater. Do we have a quarterback controversy? I think so.

It's going to be Bridgewater or Taysum Hill. I'm not sure which one. You got to ride the hot hand, right? And Taysum Hill was one for one today. OK, so he was one for one. It sucks that he. I understand why Sean Payton is not bringing Taysum Hill out much more because he's, if Teddy Bridgewater gets hurt,

Taysum Hill is your quarterback. So you can't just be throwing him out there seven times a game for random plays. Your internet dad, my internet uncle, Mike Florio, had a point that I thought was very interesting. I want to hear your take on it. OK. Drew Brees injury was the best thing

to happen to the Saints because it took all the pressure off this season after the after the Minneapolis miracle, after the NFC championship game with the blown call. The Saints were the snake bitten team with all the pressure in the world. Can they get back? Their windows closing. You know, Drew Brees isn't going to be around forever.

He gets hurt. And now it's like it's the old nobody believes in us theory. And they go to Seattle and they win. And then they beat the Cowboys and then they beat the Bucks. And they just keep rolling off wins. And now you have to wonder like their defensive line is awesome, different in the dome. And Teddy Bridgewater is doing more than just keeping them

afloat. He's winning games. He's winning. What is he? He's 3 and 0 now. Yeah. He's 3 and 0 in the start of it. So they said basically just tread water

until Drew Brees gets back. And you know what this injury did? It gave them permission to win ugly, which I like. Because if they win ugly with Drew Brees, then the question is, is Drew Brees done? Is this time to move on? Is this last season? How much longer is Drew going to stick around New Orleans?

Now it's this team is playing like a team. So you agree with that? I do agree with Mike Florio. I don't think that they like we should just steal the take. OK, yeah. So I don't think that if Sean Payton had drawn it up in his very busy offseason, of course, I don't think he would have said I would like to see Drew get

hurt this year. Yes. But I don't think it's the worst thing in the world. Also, it makes him look like a genius for resigning Teddy Bridgewater and makes Teddy Bridge. You know how close we were to having Miami Dolphins quarterback Teddy Bridgewater? Yeah.

He's making himself millions and millions of dollars. Drew Brees, Miami Dolphins quarterback. That's true. That's true. All these guys. They're just like, nope, don't want to go there. I'd rather go to the Saints. But we now have two the two best teams in the NFC South

are teams that are just winning with backup quarterbacks. And it's impressive. I mean, the Saints, it's impressive what the Saints are doing. And I do really, I kind of believe that they're under the radar with the Drew Brees injury. The pressure is completely off. And you're right.

They can just win ugly. This was, I mean, Teddy Bridgewater is very good today. Yeah. They're calling him Teddy Throsevelt. Did you see that? They were chanting Teddy. Teddy Throsevelt. Because he carries that big stick between his legs.

Drew Brees is definitely going to come back when he's not 100%. Like he's going to come back when he's 60% because he doesn't. He can't have this. He was throwing miniature football. He can't have this. He got him on the Andrew Luck plan, where he starts out with like the little footballs

that you get from a vending machine. Yeah. Eventually it'll be a Nerf, then it'll be a Vortex, then it'll be a college football. So we've probably got like five weeks of him progressing to slightly bigger balls. He's going to come back before he is ready, just because he can't handle this.

OK, next up Ravens. Also, he remembered that he has Michael Thomas on his team. Yes. Which is a very big ball. Well, the Bucks secondary is atrocious. Yeah. Well, where do we stand on the how much has Bruce Arians gotten through to James Winston meter now?

Well, James Winston did something today that I don't think I've ever seen. He played in the Superdome without trying to eat his own fingers beforehand. No. He threw an interception, but it was called off because he took a delay game. It's smart.

It's incredible. I've never seen a quarterback. I mean, they've rarely let the play go on a delay game, but it was incredible to watch. It was like the reverse Aaron Rodgers, who does the get the guy off sides and throw a touchdown because you know he has a free play. James didn't even realize he had a free play.

Or no, he didn't realize that the play was going to be called off. And he still threw the interception. And then his original stupidity negated his second stupidity. Sometimes it's better to be dumb than good. It was incredible. Yeah. And that is the James Winston story. That's the James Winston story.

All the time it's better to be dumb than good. If you're dumb enough and you make a mistake, sometimes it turns out in your favor. So yeah, James never lacks in confidence. Turn it into a skid, James. OK, Raven Steelers. Duck, Devlin Hodges. Duck.

Duck is that what we're saying about him? That's his name. What is nicknames duck? They call him duck. He won a duck calling competition as a youth. They call him duck. That is so perfect. I love they call him duck.

Not a great name for a quarterback. Devlin Duck Hodges. I kind of like it. I like it too, in theory. But I mean, the problem with that is every time he throws a duck, then it gets brought off. True. True.

But then he could say that's my signature throw. You knew what you were getting when you signed an old duckie. So Devlin Duck Hodges comes in for Mason Rudolph, who took a brutal, brutal hit. And did the cart break when they were trying to take him off? Yeah. So it was out on the field. They drove it out on the field.

I don't know if it ran out of juice or ran out of gas. What happened? You know what it was? It was probably, Ben was just joyriding it before the game. Just ghost riding the whip? Yeah. And so there was not enough air in the tires because he had just taken it all out,

taken all the gas out, and it broke down. How about Ben Rottlesberger getting in trouble for wearing an Apple Watch last week? Yeah. That got $5,000. And his excuse was his wife dressed him, which is I absolutely believe that, by the way. Also, you can be like, yes, Ben Rottlesberger

doesn't know how to put clothes on. Do you think that Ben Rottlesberger would know how to cheat with an Apple Watch? There's no way. He probably doesn't even turn it on. He doesn't even know that it's a watch that you can use text messages on. Right.

He just has it for the time. He probably doesn't even look at it. It just looks good. He's like, oh yeah, my wife dressed me and it looks good. He's like, oh, this watch? Oh, it doesn't even turn on. It's weird. He just uses it to track his steps and his heartbeat.

Yes. It's for health. But yeah. So Devlin Duck Hodges comes in, not bad in relief of Mason Rudolph, but the big story from this game is Mike Tomlin and I'm going to defend him. Go off. I'm going to defend him.

Mike Tomlin did the unthinkable and in overtime, they did, they won the coin flip and they elected to kick. Now, of course, when we saw this, we're like, this is the dumbest thing ever. Steelers football, baby. Dumbest thing ever. But Mike Tomlin, his quote afterwards, it actually makes sense.

So he said that his kick return team was so bad on Sunday that he knew that if he elected to receive, they would have a very good chance of not moving the ball and then giving the Ravens great field position. So the Steelers on Sunday, their three kick returns. They started at the 11, the 12 and the 15. They, he kicked in over time. He said, I challenged my defense to make a stop.

They made the stop and then they received the ball in the 32. So whatever you want to say about Mike Tomlin, and there's a lot to say. He doesn't have any confidence in duck. I actually, no, I actually think he may, no, he doesn't have confidence in his kick return team. Cause if you, if you go out, if you are at the 10 and the 15 every single time

and you don't get the first down, you basically are giving Justin Tucker the game. Right. But also you don't have to score a touchdown. You just have to get in. So you're giving Justin Tucker permission to win the game on the very first possession. No, he can't, you can't win the game on a field goal. Oh, so it's, so he deferred.

Right. That's the new rule. Right. So he kicked off to them. Right. Knowing that, knowing that defense would give up a touchdown, which they did, right? They stopped them. They stopped them. They got the ball back at the 32. So it actually worked out exactly as Mike Tomlin planned. And then of course, this seems to me like Humphrey,

you know, peanut punches, juju, and then the game ends. But what Mike Tomlin did actually worked exactly to plan. And as dumb as he can be at times, I'm going to defend him on this one. I got to wait and see what the stats are on how many times has that happened in overtime in the modern game, like a coach that does not elect to receive the kickoff. I feel like Belichick's done it with the win before.

Maybe this might be one of these situations where Tomlin figured out the math after the fact when he knew he had to defend it. He downloaded all the data that he keeps in Big Ben's watch. I don't know. My knee jerk was to say that's so stupid. But when he explained it and then you looked at the numbers and how bad their kick return team was on Sunday,

like, and that's something the Steelers have struggled with all season, they don't really have a returner. I listen, Mike Tomlin, if you if you're watching the game, there's never been a coach happier than when they got that first stop because he knew he was off the hook. But still, I especially with the fact that a field goal can't beat you on the first possession.

I don't hate to move. Also, when you have a backup quarterback and then a backup backup quarterback in the game, it kind of gives coaches a little bit of room to breathe and a little bit of room to try weird stuff. And that way, when they explain things like his decision to do this in the postgame press conference, first of all, your ownership does not expect you to win

when you're starting a second stinger or a third stinger, right, necessarily. And when they hear you try and weird fucked up moves like this, they're like, well, he's doing everything that he can. Right. He's trying. He is trying to, you know, play the odds and do weird shit. Yeah. Try to get this team to a victory. Yeah, like they were doing a lot of the gadget plays.

Right. You know what? I don't I don't know if the stats are 100 percent correct on this, but I think that there were more little. I don't want to call them shovel passes, but the passes that go like a yard in front of you to a wide receiver, running a jet sweep, you know what I'm saying? Those little underhanded passes, yeah, more of those in this week than I've ever seen in any other week of the NFL.

Count they count as four throws. Yeah, absolutely. So also Lamar Jackson stinks. Let's talk about him. He stinks again. So he stinks again. He stinks and he doesn't stink. Then he stinks again. He did knock over a photographer on the sideline and then picked her up

and like gave her a little pat on the back. So it's a good job respecting the biz by Lamar. The Ravens didn't look great really in anything that they did. No, their defense was OK. They're not they're not a good man, Ravens fans are they're not I don't think they're that good of a team. I think that this is a team that is poised to take a big drop off in the second half of the season. Lamar Jackson, too.

Notice I notice this thing. He he looked a step slower than he has the first few weeks. It's hard to be a running quarterback in the NFL. I mean, you get hit a lot. You get hit way more than everyone else. He ran the ball 14 times. I mean, those, you know, some of them are he's going out of bounds and some of them are he's sliding, but that's still more hits

than every other quarterback gets. I'm just saying if you're if we're doing the meter on Twitter, the Lamar Jackson haters, which were not had a nice day. It was it was not as good as it could have been for them because because they won and you can always say he wins. And I feel like a lot of the Lamar Jackson haters are also the same quarterback wins people. I just thought they're very conflicted this morning.

Well, I just don't understand why we why we can't just be reasonable about Lamar Jackson be like he's a pretty good quarterback. And I still want to see more and see if he can, you know, be healthy for an entire season while he's carrying the ball 14 times. I feel like that's a rational thing. I think that's a pretty rational thing, right? But no one you have to have the hottest take on Lamar Jackson, whether it's pro or against.

OK, next game up, the NFL actually came out and said that Mason Rudolph didn't need a cart for that hit. Oh, we did. If he needed a cart, they would have brought one out, but he was totally fine and could have. He was totally good. And he's knocked out twice. Just poor Mason Rudolph. So it wasn't an NFL card issue.

It was it was he was fine. The fact that they took off the mask was I mean, you can't do that to a guy. Take the whole helmet off. Like that's it was not fair for him. That visual was not fair. Oh, just because it's you just had his coming out. Yeah, he just had the helmet on like the without the face mask. I'm going to you got to take the whole thing.

I'm going to say it, football players, I think they look pretty cool without the face mask on. It looks different. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a leather leather head. Yeah, looks like the old George Clooney. Yes. OK, next up, we have Cardinals, Bengals, Zane. Zane did it. Zane. It was a big day for Chases, half the game and Zane.

Yeah, it was good. I guess Cliff got his first win. Yeah, it was the first rookie coach to get a win this year. Yes, that for you. Did he get at the expense of Zach Taylor? Yeah, I still don't know what he looks like. I think he looks like a mix between Mayor Pete and the coach was Ryan Day.

Poor Zach Taylor. It sucks. I think they're talking about trading Andy Dalton now, which would be. Yeah, get a King's Ransom for Andy Dalton. Well, I mean, midseason, some team would and I'm saying this now because I know it's going to be. But some team would be like, hey, we have an injured quarterback. Let's take Andy Dalton.

Would you take him right now? This is my original hypothetical that got me in trouble with Jay Cutler all the way back when, uh-huh. So if it was hurt for the rest of the year, yes, definitely. It would be great. And I would write it with the colors to be so sad. God damn it. All right, so this game Kyler Murray didn't look as short as he has in the

know, he's looking like I think he looks shorter on the at home than he does on the road, something with the cameras. Yeah. And like the bright red uniforms that they wear, red color, red, yeah, the red brings them down. Yes, it does. Red's a bad color just in general to wear. This is an old, this is an old fashioned double circle game.

The Bengals and the Cardinals. So if you're a fan of either team at the start of the year, both teams had the circle as a win for them. Yes. Like if you're a Cardinals fan, you're like, yeah, we could steal this one on the road, no problem. Right. Those are always dangerous. Right. And it also is one of those games that if you are a Cardinals fan,

who I don't, I don't know who, who is Cortez Cortez Clue Haywood. Yeah, Clue. There you go. And Cortez Cardinals, those two Cardinals fans, we're talking to you right now in this podcast. This is the game that you watch and you say, that's Kyler Murray. That's why we picked him number one. How many that's all you.

That's when you draft a quarterback and your team stinks around them. You just need like two or three games in the season where he shows something that you're like, that's the guy. Did you see pictures of the stadium before the game? How empty it looked? Yeah. It looked like what the what's the dilapidation porn for like old Olympic stadiums look like right now is like there are weeds growing in

between the chairs and people like I don't think there were people even trying to get in alligators in the pools. And at that point, I got to I got to put one in the air hole of Cincinnati because if there's nobody at the game, what are you what are you doing in your assigned seat on the second level? At that point, you scoot down to the front. It's a good question. It's a very good question.

OK, next up we have. Oh, here's a staff for you. Not good for Cincinnati NFL defensive defenses have only given up 10, 500 yard games so far in this season. The Bengals have given up two of them. That's not good. Yeah, that's not good. That's that doesn't seem like that defense is doing so well.

Yeah, I don't know. I who's their defensive coordinator now? I don't know. Andy Dalton had 22 yards in the first half. But you tried. You know what? You tied the game. At the end, and you almost.

It could have been a lot worse if you tied, you came back, tied. You know what? Resiliency, you you were the unlucky ones that had to deal with the Kyler Murray game. Yeah, it also wasn't prime time. So that's not that many people watch on TV or in the stadium. Right. This was the game that Red Zone forgot. Absolutely. Well, there were the Bill's Titans. There are also 10 games.

Real quick, NFL schedule makers. 10 games is too much football to be happy over one time. I have no idea what's going on. I can't keep a score straight while I'm watching it. Yes, I can't keep track of my bets or my 40 fantasy teams. I can't keep track of any of this. If I'm just it's like if you were a if you had epilepsy and you were trying to watch the Red Zone, it changed too often.

You would have just started to have a seizure. It was in try box the entire time. Didn't like it. Yeah, I agree. Didn't like it. Also, Scott Hansen is better than Ceciliano. I said it. Oh, are you watching Ceciliano now?

It's we have direct TV here. I'm sorry. Ceciliano, he's not a gambler's friend. Let's just say that he doesn't get it. Did a lot of things that were if I hadn't been watching because, you know, we have direct TV now and so we actually can watch every single game, the full broadcast. But we also have Red Zone on with the sound.

He did a lot of things where I was like, you can't get our hopes up like that. Like called back interceptions. And oh, there was a Hail Mary and not do that. There's a Hail Mary in one game where I think it was Scott Hansen did this, too. Where he was like, and they're going for the Hail Mary, right? And it was batted down to the ground. I thought I'd make it interesting for you guys. It was like, Scott, you can't do that.

But the thing about Scott and Ceciliano is no matter what side you're on, if you grow up watching Ceciliano and Red Zone, you love Ceciliano. If you grow up watching Scott Hansen on Red Zone, you love Scott Hansen. They have fiercely loyal family sad, though, because we didn't grow up on either because Red Zone came around like 10 years by grow up. I know, I know. It may be sad knowing that there are kids who are like, what? There's a world where there wasn't Red Zone.

Also, their voices sound scarily alike. Yes. Why do you not? Why don't they have a Red Zone for just like hosted by a gambler who can just be like, hey, if you bet this game, you're fucked. Just point. Yeah. Yeah. Like that's all they say. Play is that only matter against the spread or the over. Like, hey, we're going to go real quick to Carolina where

Ron Rivera didn't kick a field goal to go up seven. So if you have minus three, you're probably fucked. That's not a bad idea. Yeah. The bet zone. Like, hey, if you have the under in this or if you have the over in this game and it's the Bill's Titans, they're like, just forget about it. Just count it as a loss and move on. I don't. I don't hate that idea at all, actually.

They tried to do that with fantasy football, but they should just switch it over and say, like, this is the bet zone because if you have an actual like degenerate gambler who hosts it, I could tell you a winner or loser within the first five minutes. The problem, hey, they just ripped off a 10 yard run. They're not they're not going to be able to stop them. This game's over. Forget it. The problem is if you have a degenerate gambler hosting it,

then you're going to know exactly what he's losing. And on a bad part of it, it's just going to turn into him like throwing shit around the studio. That's part of it. That will be part of the charm. Like, if I did this, there would be weeks where I would just stop talking for 30 minutes in a row. He's like, you figure it out yourself, asshole. I'm having a bad Sunday.

OK, before we get to our next game, quick word from a new sponsor. And I got to say, I already love them. It's ButcherBox. So we got all this meat sent to us from ButcherBox. PFT, I've already made chili twice. I had I had a New York strip steak yesterday and I had one today for my lunch. It's so, so good.

They send quality meat, quality matters to ButcherBox, but there's more to it than texture and taste. There are so many good pieces that come in your ButcherBox box delivered directly to your door, and it's super, super convenient. You don't have to go out to the store and wait in line on a Sunday when you're trying to make that chili, you can get it right to your door. And guess what? It's they have 100 percent grass fed, finished beef,

free range, organic chicken, heritage, bread, pork or wild caught salmon. You can get all that to you. No one else does it like that. No one else does it like that. And ButcherBox is the best we've got it. We used it. I've already cooked all my meat, ButcherBox. If you're listening, can you please send me some more meat

because I eat it all. So every month, ButcherBox ships a curated selection of high quality meat right to your home. All meat is free of antibiotics and added hormones. Each box has nine to 11 pounds of meat enough for 24 individual meals. The fact that I just read that and I also already ate all my meat is a little scary, but I love meat. So I we got it what a week and a half ago.

I got mine about a week ago. Yes, we have had 11 pounds of ButcherBox meat. I can tell a half. Yeah. So ButcherBox is a total no brainer. It's the best meat ship right to the door, which means one less trip to the grocers options. Like I said, 100 percent grass fed and finished beef, free range, organic chicken, you can make that chili.

It's right there. All the ingredients right there. Boom, you got all the beef right there, ready to go. And ButcherBox is the most affordable and convenient way to get healthy, humanely raised meat with ButcherBox. You get the highest quality meat around for just six dollars a meal and they even have free shipping nationwide, except Alaskan Hawaii. But you can still get it. Alaskan Hawaii right now.

ButcherBox is offering new members ground beef for life. Wait, what? Holy shit. That's two pounds of ground beef in every box for the life of their subscription, plus 20 dollars off their first box. That that's the ground beef I use in the chili. So free ground beef for life. You should you should write a recipe.

You just log a recipe for my famous. Big cat's famous. If you call it famous, everybody will like it. Just go to ButcherBox.com slash take or enter promo code take at checkout. That's ButcherBox.com slash take or enter promo code take at Chuck. Check out. This is a no brainer. I cannot recommend it enough. I'm going to make Cincinnati chili.

Oh, it's so good. So ButcherBox.com slash take or enter promo code take at checkout. And you can get all this deal as two pounds of ground beef in every box for life of their subscription, plus 20 dollars off their first box. If you use promo code take, thank you to book ButcherBox. OK, Bill Sightons, the other game that Red Zone forgot this weekend. P.F.D. Yep, the Buffalo Bills are four and one. I believe I said after week two, they're going to be a playoff team.

They are the bills look good. The defense is fucking awesome. Hold on. Let me finish. The Buffalo Bills are four and one. The Buffalo Bills in their next five games have the dolphins twice and the Redskins once. OK, so that's three losses. The Buffalo Bills are going to be at worst seven and three going in to week 11.

I love it. I love it. I fucking love it. The NFL is better when Buffalo is a very good football team. And I'm a little bit concerned for the people of Buffalo because they're getting really amped up. They had like a going away party for the team at the airport today. Yeah, they are all in their pot committed on this season. And I like it. I like that Josh Allen is a big part of it. Josh Allen, by the way,

I like that Frank Gore is somehow still alive. We finally have our Vince Young quarterback in a good way. The chill out in the first half. Go the fuck off in the second half quarterback of the NFL. And that's Josh Allen, because if Josh Allen needs to score you points late in the game, Josh Allen is going to get you those points by hooker by crook. He's going to do it. And I fucking love watching him play and the Bills are four in one.

I'm so happy for the city of Buffalo on the other side. The Titans, we got the bad Titans this week. Now, yeah, because they were favorites. If the Titans are favorites, they're going to be bad. If they're underdogs, they're going to be good. Mike Vrabel is our guy. Coach Vrabel is a great coach. One piece of advice when you stand out in the rain with a mustache,

a mustache looks really bad when wet. It's sadder. It's like this. I'm a mustache, a mustachioed man. I know that when I get when I get poured on by the rain, I look a million times sadder, like gross, scarier, more like scarier, more, but everyone looks at you like, are you OK, man? Like you got a wet mustache. Looks like your mouth's crying.

Yeah, I've seen that look on it. It's not. On the other hand, it was kind of like that movie. What's the one with John Cusack standing out, holding the boombox over his head? Say, I say anything by me. Stay. Stay by me. Well, such as to high fidelity. OK, John Cusack, high fidelity. Yeah, we're going to go.

He was in the rain. High fidelity. He was. Yeah, he was out there in the rain. Also because in Tennessee, you can't have any speakers on the field when it's not raining because they'll blow up and catch fire. Yeah, Marcus Mariota looked OK at times today. But he's just he is the most boring quarterback in the NFL, the most boring starting quarterback in the NFL.

Well, his offensive line didn't do him any favors. And let's do our we do this every single week. You guys know this segment that we do. It's called Read a Random Quote. We do it all the time. We've been doing it since the inception of the show for four years. We've been doing Read a Random Quote. So I'm going to read a random quote.

Go for it. This one's from Jordan Phillips, who had three sacks. I was really happy. Luan came back today. I'm glad he could be part of that today. Shaq Lawson said another random quote talking about Taylor Luan. We knew what his weakness was. He gives up inside moves and this was an inside game. He's a fake tough guy. He was quiet today.

That was read a random quote. Well, we should probably also give some like we should give a couple of seconds to talk about their kicking game. Yeah, because they did. Santos. They did miss a shitload of field goals. And then Vrabel just in the ultimate football guy move was like, OK, you've missed three already. I'm going to send you out there to kick a 53 yarder.

And then he missed it by about a school bus to the left. Honestly, the way the Titans are built, where it's defense and you don't know which Marcus Mariota you're going to get, I would trade a first round pick for Justin Tucker. OK, we're going to win games with field goals. Would you feel goals are more valuable to a team like the Titans than every other team in the NFL? Saber, magically, they're worth four.

Right. Yeah, no, I agree. But if you're the Ravens, would you give up Justin Tucker for a first round? Yes, for a first round. You would. Yeah, first rounder, kicking, finding a kicker is hard. Yeah, we'll get to that, Hank. But yeah, first rounder, I think I would. I think I would. Yeah, I was reading a random quote. OK, that's interesting.

So they were all about Taylor Luan. That was totally random. He came back glad to have him back. Got it. Yeah. So that was this was the other game that the Red Zone forgot. We just never saw it. Never saw a second or third three scores. Actually, they did show they showed Cairo Santos missing his last field goal.

Right. And they only cut to that because they're like, hold the shit. He's missed three and they're having him try this. Golden sombrero watch. OK, would your same logic apply for Josh Allen, though, with the running around? Like he's he's he would scare the shit out of me if I was a Buffalo fan. Oh, yes, absolutely. When he gets out and he like it's the same thing. He got smoked just as bad as he did in the Patriots game.

Same shit, not looking. Yeah, we crushed running quarterbacks are very like it's not science hard for them to stay healthy because they're just going to get smoked and they're getting hit by guys that are faster and stronger. And it's yeah, I would absolutely be scared if I were Bill's fan watching Josh Allen throw up, but I would be excited. But I'd also be scared if he gets hurt. They're just going to bring them.

They're going to bring back Terry Jackson because he's the exact same size as Josh Allen and they're going to run the exact same plays that they run for Josh or or or T-Mobile. That's actually a big part of a big part of being a backup quarterback. And the NFL is just having the exact same body dimensions as your starter so that people kind of you look like a starter. You look like the guy I've been watching for the last five weeks. Right.

That also is the perfect explanation when anyone wants to say Kaepernick doesn't know anyone's offense. Yes, yes. Well, he doesn't know their offense. That's true. So it may make sense. Right. OK, Bears Raiders.

Can we imagine if Buffalo got a home playoff game? We'll be there. Yes, absolutely. That's a guarantee. We'll be there. Saturday night. What if they gave him Saturday night? Wildcards.

They I don't I think no, they can't because they're going to I think the NFL would be negligent idiots anyway. They're not going to win the AFC East. So how would they get a home playoff game? They could if they won the AFC. OK, so they're going to win the AFC. They might. Yeah.

And if the Patriots get a buy, could they potentially get one in that they would be a wildcard and they'd have to play. All right. Yeah. It was fun. Well, yeah, we had a couple good seconds there. Well, no, if they OK, they they're the fifth seed and they go to the AFC Championship game in the sixth seed also goes. OK, there we go.

OK, done. So all Texans, Bills in the championship game. Yes. All right. Bears Raiders. Yes, let's talk about Bears Raiders. I just wrote down I'm sad. I know you're upset about this big cat. I'm very upset going to London and expecting to win with Chase Daniel.

You shouldn't be that disappointed. Good point. Yeah, it doesn't count when you have to go to London with a backup quarterback. Exactly. Like you can you can have Chase Daniel win you a couple games, but you can't expect him to go to a different country and win a game. Let's focus on just being at home. I there was the postgame poll on I think it was Comcast Sportsnet in Chicago, and it was like you need Mitch back.

Keep going with Chase Daniel. Then there was an option Tyler Bray time and had 65 percent of the votes. That shit break. So the parody of the Chicago Bear season continues, where we're just going to keep going down the line of quarterbacks. But that guy, the new backup. England is not meant for guys named Chase. We were a little hard on guys named Chase earlier.

There are things that you can do if you're a Chase. One of them is definitely not going to England and winning a football game. That's like it's like Jared Goff in Minnesota. This right like a Chase cannot succeed if you need a passport for him to succeed. This was the roller coaster of all roller coasters, because at halftime, I said to myself, I gave myself the entire speech of why are you so dumb?

Why did you think this bears team could do anything without an offense? You're so stupid to get your hopes up. Like you're just stops caring about sports. Then they came all the way back and I was like, we were never going to lose to the Raiders. All in. And then you can't give up a punt, a fake punt and still win a game.

And once you stop them once mentally and then Derek Carr goes down the field and listen, the bears have a buy. So I reserve the right to take back everything I'm about to say in two weeks when the bears get ready for the next game. But the bears are fucked. I don't like the future. I don't think they're fucked. We've gone all in and we have no offense and the schedule is going to be

insanely hard coming up and they're not a well balanced team. And you can't expect the defense to be incredible every single week. And the bears are officially fucked. And this was a mischievous. He draft is now the same. But Sam Bowie draft. No, you don't want to say that. You're going to regret it.

You'll get it. So watching Patrick Mahomes and Sean Watson. People are fucking photoshopping Patrick Mahomes in a bears jersey and sending it. Which would you rather have a quarterback with a sprained ankle? Which is worse than a break? A lot of people say. Oh, or a quarterback with a non throwing shoulder injury. Hey, here's a spin zone.

Interesting. Here's a I would. I would take the guy that still got a good wing. Mitch Mitch's job is safe because Chase Daniel is not the guy. And we did this exact same thing last year. But Bray. But but we did this exact same thing last year where Chase Daniel won a game in Detroit and then went to New York and lost. And we're like, wait, he's not the guy.

In addition to this being a London asterix, it's also a John Gruden revenge game against himself asterix. Let me for trading away. Khalil Mack, let me be nice. Something. Yes, he had something to prove in that. And the pick that he got back had three touchdowns. Oh, that's yeah.

That's a good point. Also, Big Hat, the Raiders beat the Falcons and the Falcons beat the Eagles and the Eagles beat the Packers. So if so, facto, you guys are better than the Packers. I'm going to say some nice things about the Raiders because they deserve it. It is impressive what John Gruden is doing. That's two wins last week against the Colts this week against the Bears. And I didn't see coming.

And he had every right to mock Club Dub in the postgame. I think this is like when you get your turnover chain snatched. I think Club Dub is dead because John Gruden said you got a new ball. Yeah, you have to do something new. If you get mocked, you lose and get mocked of your fun thing. I think you have to move on to the next. I think John Gruden just lives his entire life in a Club Dub. He's just always pumped about everything.

So after any time of football games over, he's going to be dancing. He probably took the Hooters airplane all the way over to London. He's probably having a blast flying back right now on. It didn't help that we went straight from the Bears game right into the Packers, just dominating the Cowboys. But anyway, that was it was a bad Sunday. And yeah, where's the panic button? I'm panicking.

Like I said, I reserve the right to change my opinion on all of this in two weeks when I know that I'll get myself excited and say the Bears are back and fire off a bunch of tweets, how awesome they are. But as we sit right now, I'm in full panic mode. I'm in full. Do we have to start rebuilding again? I don't think you have to rebuild anything. I think it's a disaster.

I think you need to take a chill pill. OK, I think when you lose the Raiders, I'm going to write your prescription for a chill pill right now. Big Cap, you can't lose the game. You're flying off the handle and it's way too early to get suicidal. Big Cat, I need I need your expectations. So from a selfish standpoint, I need you to be thinking NFC championship game for as long as possible throughout the season.

Tyler Bray, let's go. Let's go. I'm all in on Tyler Bray. He wasn't that bad in college. Bray, Bray, Bray, let's go. Let's go, Tyler. You got this, bro. OK, next up, we have Vikings Giants. Yes, holy shit. Kirk Cousins did it again.

This was mother fucker. I think we penciled this in as a Kirk Cousins game where he was going to get right. He was going to get right. It's a perfect Kirk Cousins game. The apology bowl. He was he said he was sorry to Adam Thielen. We all knew that you were sorry.

Quarterback Kirk Cousins. Now Adam Thielen knows and everyone knew that he was going to throw multiple touchdowns to him to like make sure that he's happy. Give him a little pat on the head. He played the perfect game. Yeah, the perfect Kirk Cousins game. You are Kirk Cousins. You're good. You're really good.

And I don't mean good as a quarterback. I mean, you're good in the fact that whenever, whenever everyone says you stink, you throw in a good performance against a bad opponent and everyone says, oh, Kirk Cousins. Not bad. This was also a game for Mike Zimmer that he was going to go into just like ready to fucking blast off because he hates anyone that's getting a lot of media attention,

especially if you're a quarterback. And Daniel Jones has been getting crowned and Mike Zimmer. First of all, he hates his own quarterbacks. Yeah, he would prefer the game were played without quarterbacks because they take the good parking spots. They don't chew red red man triple option. They yeah, he would like to go back to like the West Point offense of 1941. But going against Daniel Jones, he's been getting like a lot of rookie accolades.

He came into this game just being like, you know what? This kid might look like my ideal son-in-law, but this kid should not be getting all this press. I'm going to beat the shit out of him. I have a bone to pick with Daniel Jones. Now, I'm not going to put this game on him because that was just a you knew that he was going to have a rookie game eventually. And he has no one around him.

Seyquan Barclay didn't play his. What's the other guy's name? Doleman. Yeah, he got hurt. He had no one like he was the Vikings defense is still very good. And they had a good game plan. Daniel Jones, if he's going to be the heir apparent to Eli Manning, he's got to work on his dumb face. He he kept his mouth closed.

That's sad. Open that mouth, dude. I don't know. Like I was trying to get a screen grab of him off the TV. He just wouldn't open his mouth. So he sat there like a normal person with his mouth closed, disappointed in himself. Dude, we need these pictures. This is what fans need. We need you to to walk around with your mouth wide open, looking dumb.

If you want to be the New York Giants quarterback. Also, you need to stand directly next to Eli Manning more. Yes, because we need more of those sidelines screen grabs where people are like, hey, are they related because it's just so funny to see like, OK, this is just young Eli standing next to old Eli. And you're right. People always say like, I wish close minds came with closed mouths. Well, you got your wish in Daniel Jones. Yes.

And I agree. I'd like to see him look dumber. He looks dumber in his pregame walk up, which has become one of the sweetest traditions in sports, is to film Daniel Jones walking in to the Meadowlands, wearing whatever colds like two for 20 shirt that he got off the rack earlier that day. I love those shots. I need more of them, but he needs to work on a sideline dumbness. Yes, it's it's not up to par yet.

But yeah, I mean, I'm not going to hold it. I really won't hold this game against him because it's just it was going to happen. And he and guess what? The the Giants, we have a lot of Giants fans in this office, and they obviously get very hyped up and sold themselves on. Hey, maybe the Giants will make some noise. They have ultimately a very flawed roster. And they were not.

They're not they're not good over like overall talent. Have we played the name Giants game yet to see how many wins they're going to get? Yeah, we could do it. Go. Golden Tate, Seyquan Barkley, Daniel Jones, Sterling Shepard, Eli Apple got traded. OK, so that's four. When Collins got let go. Yeah. One walk.

Have an ingrown. Yep. Gullman. Good one. I said Gullman. OK. Penny. Yeah. Penny. I think I think we've settled on about five to six wins for the Giants. Yeah, that's about it. Yeah. That's all I got. OK. The other New York team.

Jets Eagles. Well, to be fair, Adam Fox, Fox didn't get any of the reps this week with the ones because he thought he thought Darnold would be back. So Adam Geese, Adam Geese is going to get fired. Got some spleen in to do on that one. He's got some spleen in to do. Yeah, that was on what planet do you just give Sam Darnold all the reps

in practice and then give him the spleen test on the weekend afterwards? Right. Or or how do you how about just lie and say that you gave Luke Falk all the, you know, like, you know, I think the media gets to sit in there for 20 minutes and before they start going, just have Luke Falk do all the first team reps for those 20 minutes just so that you don't look as dumb as you look when you had your third string quarterback go into a game in Philadelphia with zero first team reps this week. Yeah. Or just make out with Sam Darnold at the start of the week.

See if you're symptomatic by the weekend. And if you're not, then boom, he gets the ball. Here's something nice about the Jets. They scored their first offensive touchdown since week one. That's really nice about that. I had to read that twice when I saw that. That's really nice. You know, what's been tough this year is watching Mike Greenberg

just like slowly fold into himself. Yeah, just acknowledging the fact that his team, this is really the first time in a long time that I think Greeny has has accepted his fate to the point where he's saying, should we just trade Levy on Bell? Yeah, they should. We just get rid of and they're going to fire Adam Gase. I honestly think they will fire him. I don't think so. After one year. Yes.

Did it? I mean, the Cardinals did it last year. Like the Hammer Groot. It happened longer. Oh, it's gone. You might be. J. Groot might be gone by the time you're listening to this right now. Oh, my God, is J. Groot going to go be like a quality control coach for the Raiders?

That's going to be awesome. I don't I don't think him and John like each other. I mean, I don't want to get the water. I think that J is the Blake of the Gruden family, where he's a little bit more chill. He's got, you know, the man boobs popping out a little bit, likes to smoke the dope, as we've seen. Uh huh. I don't think that John approves of J's free will and lifestyle.

All right. So we're going to hit on chicks. It should be within the confines of a restaurant. We'll do that. We'll do that game in a second. I said one more point about the Eagles Jets game. So the Eagles look great. You can't judge anything off of the Jets, but they're starting to round it into form.

This also was the annual Mike Trout goes to an Eagles game in early October. Yep. That's not a shot of Mike Trout, but he always goes to an Eagles game in early October when he could be playing baseball. Could there is baseball being played, but Mike Trout's at the Eagles. He looks at Mike Trout. Again, not a shot of Mike Trout. He's the MVP.

He's the best player in baseball, but he's always at the Eagles like week six. I got to say, I like how they labeled him at the bottom of the screen because Mike Trout, I don't know if he's getting heavier or if he's just entering the phase of his life where he looks like a bouncer out of Mumford in some concert. But he looked like he looked like a bully. Yes, like a grade school bully. He's he's a Doyle. He went he morphed back into Philly, Mike Trout.

Yeah, Orange County, Mike Trout, Philly, Mike Trout. He should get he should get the Philly fanatics nose tattooed around his little butt chin dental that he has. I'm not going to tell Mike Trout what he shouldn't do. But if I were Mike Trout, I'd go on a vacation for a couple of weeks before I went to the Eagles game. I'd make sure I didn't go to the very first Eagles game on the schedule, home Eagles game on the schedule as soon as the season ended.

He probably bought those tickets back in May. He's like, yeah, I got nothing. Oh, yes, we'll win that one. I got to get to that one. Yeah, I'd probably wait till November to start going to Eagles games. That's just me. All right. So Redskins Patriots. Yes.

The Redskins had the first lead against the Patriots. Of any team this year. Yeah. How about that? How about that? And I was thinking for a second that Blueprint was out to beating the Patriots. Just have a 65 yard run where the Patriots missed like four tackles. I thought I thought actually Bill Belichick was putting out a fake blueprint because that's something that Bill would do is like give like give up a very bad

first quarter, maybe even first half to an inferior team so that other teams later think that they know how to beat you. Right. But he's just laying that out as rat poison. It's like, boy, I sure hope other teams don't try starting their third strength quarterback against us and having their head coach caught smoking weed the night before the game. So let's talk about those videos. Those videos have been around forever.

What videos? We've seen them. Jay Gruden having a good time in Saratoga, New York in the summer of 2017. Those. When did they come out? The weirdly. So we saw them two years ago. Yeah. They weirdly came out right after Jay Gruden announced that Colt McCoy

was going to start and not Bruce Allen and Dan Snyder's boy, Dwayne Haskins. Yeah. And the week after he stuck it to Bruce Allen by putting Dwayne Haskins in the game to show him that he wasn't good. I'll say this about Dan Snyder. He is excellent at undermining coaches. This is this is his bread and butter. He can suck at everything else that he does, but he is awesome at like taking a guy who's calling plays or calling bingo numbers in a fucking old folks

community, bringing them to undermine the head coach. People forget about that one. He's great at undermining his head coach by by taking offensive strategy notes from your starting quarterbacks. Dad, he'll do that happen. I mean, the list could really go on. But this is this is a classic play out of the Snyder and Bruce Allen playbook. And credit to us for not leaking these videos two years ago.

Yes, credit to us to the point where I think they even knew. I mean, Jay Gruden knew that they existed and he probably knew eventually they're going to just try to put these out. And you know what? I don't see how they're bad other than maybe the fact that Jay Gruden's married, whatever, but otherwise he's a party boy. He wasn't kissing anybody. It was a party boy.

He's a party boy. Saratoga, you've been a bit of Saratoga in the summer. It's a party atmosphere. The best. I have fun. The best was the one where he was smoking something and then he saw somebody videotape. He was like, come on. And the guy was like, Jay, Jay, Jay, just to really make sure that everyone knew

that it was Jay Gruden. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So I actually won't hold these videos against him whatsoever, just like Daniel Jones performance. We're not it's the not holding anything against anyone podcast. I'm not judging. In fact, I think that Jay Gruden is about to be in for the next like the best month of his life. He's going to he's going to be by the time the best.

The best part. The Redskins are like a boat. Have you ever heard that old saying where it's like the best day of your life is when you get the keys to the Redskins. Yes. And the second best day of your life is the day you give him back. Yes. And you get the hell out of there and you get to move on. You get to go. Yeah, maybe you'll go be a quality control guy in Vegas.

It's it's so ridiculous, though, that they basically Bruce Allen and Dan Snyder released these videos just trying to get Jay Gruden fired and not having to pay him. I don't think you can not pay a coach because he had a little fun in the summer when he wasn't on the clock because he's smoking weed. Yeah, I think. Yeah. I'm not I'm not ecstatic about firing Jay Gruden. He's going to get fired.

He's going to get fired. He's going to be fired. But then. But then I start to think what are the options for replacing him? Yeah, what are the options if we're going down the list? Dwayne Haskins, Dwayne Haskins, his head coach, slash backup quarterback Joe Gibbs, bring him back one more time. I don't think that's going to happen. Third time. I don't think I think Joe Gibbs made the right call

and getting the hell out of there. Steve Spurrier, Steve Spurrier. Tell you what, Steve, you can coach from home. Yes, it'll be like a remote. Do you have a dial up connection? Good enough for us. OK. OK, I have two questions for you. Just Skype in at halftime. PFT, I have two questions for you. Seeky questions from a code. Take put in code.

Take you get $10 off. Seeky. Thank you to Seeky. One, when are the Redskins going to actually do a reasonable thing as an NFL franchise and trade Trent Williams and Ryan Kerrigan? Oh, yeah, Trent Williams. So he hasn't played on the team at all this year. Right. He says he won't play. They've been offered multiple for this is just a game of chicken is what it is.

It's just who's going to blink first. And Dan Snyder is so coked up that he never blinks. Does he realize they have zero wins? Does he realize that you should be tanking actively, tanking now and trading all assets? But what you don't understand, Big Cat, is that Dan Snyder's best friends are the players that he's drafted. Right. They're his best homies.

He hangs out with a Matan. And they all and they all love him and respect him. So he couldn't stand to do that to Trent Williams and get rid of him. OK, two. I like Ryan Kerrigan, by the way. I think right now I know, but he should be set free. Yes, he should. Right. And this is what being a Redskins fan is. This is what I live for is having the players that I like

on the team that I root for go somewhere else and be successful. Right. That's my personal super. They should set him free. Let him play for a contender to you guys are playing the dolphins. Was it next week? Two weeks next week, the toilet bowl. If the Redskins lose the dolphins, huh? Do you draft to it?

Well, it's it's a game. Yes, I think you have to. But do. But they won't. But they won't. Because I like Dwayne Haskins and I like Dwayne Haskins. He's one of the best. Yeah. I mean, he's not ready. Very obvious. I'd like to a lot more.

Listen, what's going to happen is Bruce Allen and and Dan Snyder will not draft to a they'll trade down and giving the Redskins more first round draft picks to screw up without somebody that knows what they're doing around is actually the worst thing they could do. I the Josh Rosen, Kyler Murray is the blueprint for it. You draft to if you are the number one pick and you're the Redskins, you draft to you have to and they won't but you have to. Hank, because your team is part of this, the Patriots

scale of zero one to 10. How concerned are you about your kicker? Very concerned. It's bad. It's also very like riding on the wall. The Patriots are firing on all cylinders, except for one aspect of the game that's like basically impossible to control for Belichick. But Gaskowski is not on the team anymore. The Super Bowls of Miami.

Gaskowski can't kick in Miami. Mike Nugent is now you got the nudge. Cat scratch fever. I have no confidence with my trail. We just did. Did he really? Yes. Just the name. Just the he sounds good thing.

I think I said ironically. Mike Nugent sounds like he's been in the league for 25 years. Yeah, he has pretty much. He's been around. Bengals. He was one of those guys that I think he went to the Bengals just because he played at Ohio State. Yeah. And they're like, oh, he's a local guy. He'll fit in. He doesn't have to look for an apartment.

I mean, it's fine for the regular season. But once you get into the playoffs, everything matters. And that's where it's like, OK, fuck. Hey, Hank, we got a few weeks to figure it out. But as someone who's kind of just lived that, the kicking problems don't go away. They somehow get worse. Also, having a bad kicker.

Why is getting a kicker so hard? I don't know. It's crazy. It's it's crazy. They're really great scapegoats, though. So it's almost worth it having a shitty kicker. No, it's still not worth it. If you're a team that's on the bubble, you think having kids on scholarship and college

that like for four years, they're just kicking all day long. Gold, post or water. This is why I actually, you know what? Justin Tucker is worth two first rounders now. Now we've had this conversation. Justin Tucker for Jalen Ramsey straight up. He never misses.

Who says he never misses? OK, next up we have. He did miss that extra point against the Saints. Remember that last year? Yeah, yeah, yeah, he really screwed us over. Once they moved the extra extra point back, like kickers, it got in all their heads. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

It's like not being able to see a couple balls go through the hoop. Like they didn't get a couple free throws to be like, OK, I can still shoot and now they just miss everything. Did you see Dan Snyder evacuating the stadium right after the game? No. So right after the game is over,

I'm talking within minutes. He hopped into a convoy of black SUVs and sped through the the concourse at FedEx Field. He's got like his own highway that he built for himself to get out of there after the games. Usually he sticks around for a little bit, probably gets drunk and thinks about what he's going to screw up next.

This time he immediately hopped in his car and they sped out. The Nats game, Natitude. It looked like a scene. That's right. That's probably where all the DC fans were today, by the way, not at the game. Right.

They were waiting for Natitude. But it looked like a scene out of House of Cards where you're just seeing this big government. Yeah, we can't say House of Cards anymore. I mean, I'd rather have Kevin Spacey as the owner of my team than Dan Snyder. OK, next up we have Jaguars Panthers. Do you think that the Jaguars should trade Nick Foles?

Yeah. Is this you fishing to see if it's possible to get him on the barris? No. I'm not. I think Gardner-Minshu. No, no, no, no, no. I think you have to.

Mitch is our quarterback. Because here's. Rex is our quarterback. This is such a classic dilemma for any team that has Nick Foles on it because he's never going to look like he's better. Ever. It doesn't matter who he's competing against.

Gardner-Minshu just looks like he's better. Well, they're naked. That's very, very true. Yeah. But Gardner-Minshu. And fully clothed, or at least in a jockstrap in armbands, Gardner-Minshu looks like a winner. Nick Foles looks like a loser.

I just seen enough that, yeah, he had a few costly fumbles today, but even at the end of the game, I was like, he's going to do this. And they somehow kept on getting penalties and getting closer and closer. But Gardner-Minshu, and we're just talking cost now, you control him for what, the next four years, six round picks, so I don't think you can do the whole, like,

fifth year bump and everything. But still, you could then build around the next three years, Gardner-Minshu on the cheap, and be like, we can do this. I think that a guy like Jaylen Ramsey would be more likely to stick around, too, with Gardner-Minshu. Because if you have a guy like that. Did he play? No, he was in Houston today.

Oh, my gosh. Hanging out with Deshaun Watson after the game. Oh, my gosh. So that made sense. Yeah. I guess he's still on paternity leave, which is fine. Which is fine. Right.

I think that as a father. Careful. As a father in America, you should be allowed to take all the time that you need. You know a dad. I know some of my best friends or dads. Yeah, I'm right here. Yeah.

You can do as long as you want. You did what? How long was your, like, six hours? Yeah, six hours with a paternity leave. And you got right back behind the microphone? I'm not saying he's a better dad than you. No. Has he even had the kid?

I just want to say that. I don't know if he's had the kid. Who knows? I don't think he has. I think he went pre-paternity leave. He's just like, you know what? She's really pregnant. And he's not even with her.

She doesn't live in Houston. She's having a hard time getting around the house. But he's in the same time zone as her. Yeah, that's true. That's really important. That's huge for text messaging. Also, a little knock on Minshu here. He had, what, three fumbles today or four fumbles?

Three. Little case of fumble items. I looked up his hand measurements, 10 and a quarter. So they're good. They were the second biggest in his entire draft class. So that's good. I think maybe it's because he hit his hand with a hammer. That probably made them swell up and get bigger, actually.

Yeah, and Kyle Allen's doing just good enough to keep the Panthers afloat. And Christopher McCaffrey is incredible. Four games with 175 yards plus from scrimmage. He's incredible. He really is. I mean, we said this last week, but Ron Rivera has his perfect team in the fact that he can just

play some defense and just give Christian McCaffrey 40 touches a game and take years off his life so that they can maybe go 9 and 7 and miss the wild card. Yeah, here you go, Christian. You're going to touch the ball 40 times. And Luke, you're going to get 40 tackles. And that's how we're going to play football. And we're not going to go to the playoffs.

But they're winning. They are. And Cam Newton's at home. Now, is it start? Do we have to ask? Cam Newton comes back. What do we do there? He's probably enjoying this, though.

Cam Newton seems like a guy that would ruin on his team from home. He's wearing his. He unbuttoned his corset a little bit. He's sending hieroglyphic text messages. Wipes his brow with his fedora. It's Kyle Allen. I hope that he gets dressed up for games that he's not playing in.

Yeah, what has he been doing with his? Has he been getting dressed up? I assume that he has. If he hasn't, it would be actually funny if he comes back and he's like, hey, guys, haven't seen you in a while, like to the reporters and does a costume change like four times. Like quick change the halftime guy. He does a quick change down during the post game being like,

hey, I have to get a few fits off here. I'm looking at pictures of Cam Newton recently. It looks like he actually hasn't been on Instagram show. He is off the radar. I assume you can't just turn that off. If you're if you're a guy that wears like a burka, you have on game day, you have to do that when you're not playing to. Yes. Yes.

Okay. Next up, we have Falcons, Texans. My pinky is so fucking safe. Do I need to do another pinky team? I don't want to tempt it. No, I think I think this is this is part of the deal. These two teams continued next year. This was a Matt Schaub revenge game. Yes. It was a pinky revenge game.

It was a match Schaub revenge game. And it's funny that you chose the Falcons as this year's pinky team because they are like the generic prescription version of the Texans. Right. In every way, shape and form. Yes. Except they the Texans now have an MVP candidate quarterback. Whereas the Falcons used to. When did you get drafted to Sean Watson? Yeah, three years ago.

Uh, ready for this Arthur Blank quote. Yeah. Why? Who else got drafted three years ago? Arthur Blank. He's Pat Mahomes. That's right. Arthur Blank. He's disappointed, but supports Dan Quinn. You're dead. You know what? You're dead, dude.

Just fucking realized right now. Why can't you be a winner, Dan? Because dank win is like a really cool for that's you can put that on T shirt. He's dead. You, as soon as the owner says, but I support my coach, it's over, dude. Yeah, it's over, especially if you have Arthur Blank just like hovering behind you like a ghost all the time. You can't have a, but I support my coach. That means that is as clear as it is day.

You do not support your coach. And you know what? Dan Quinn probably deserves to get fired because he's a defensive guy. And we found the recipe to keep to Sean Watson safe. Just haven't played the Atlanta Falcons every week. It's not a bad idea. The Houston Texas have an awful offensive line. Just Sean Watson gets killed.

They did not sack him once. He threw five touchdowns. He went absolutely off. You should be ashamed of yourself, Dan Quinn. You need to go back to Pete Carroll, back to Pete Carroll's little like, you know, maybe have it be a kangaroo. He goes back into Pete Carroll's pouch. He learns his defense again.

And then he comes back out a new man in three years. Yeah. You know what? We haven't had a good Pete Carroll defensive coordinator higher as a head coach in a while. Yes. We're missing that element. It's all the pendulum has swung to the young, short, hot offensive coordinator. Let's bring it back to the old, bald, goateed defensive coordinator that looks kind of like

he's seven points higher in IQ than a strength coach. He looks like he would be. He would play Mr. Clean in a porno. Yeah, Mr. Cream. Just enough. Yeah. There you go. Just enough. Hey, your. Hey, your floors look a little dirty. Sorry, babe. I made a big mess.

Did you know to show him Watson was a ballboy for the Falcons? I did not know that. That's a fascinating fact. I'm issuing an alert to the Texans. Oh, Hank, hit the alert. No, it's the alert noise. Please. Thank you. That sounds like the new segment alert. But yeah, that's what this is.

Alert is a new segment. And it's a can this team win in the cold alert to the Texans. Nope. And here's the only reason I bring it up. Is that any team that scores 50 points in early October? 50 burger. I just have to say, can they win the cold? Because, hey, the offense looks great right now. What about when it gets cold outside?

Oh, they're like the chiefs. Mm hmm. Soft. Yep. Soft. They don't run the ball in a traditional sense. Yeah, they've got to Sean Watson, who can run for 70, 80, 90 yards. Right. But they don't run it. They don't go. They don't go behind the guards. Are they afraid to go inside?

Nope. They're afraid to maul you. They don't look like a rogue greater foot. They don't look like much coming off the bus on their offensive line. The other thing that I had a note of is there's no there's no player who is as aware of what's happening in local sports as JJ Wad is about what's happening in Houston sports. So whether it's like Garrett Cole. Yes. Twirled a gym.

We're going to talk baseball soon. Don't worry. And then and then he did like a fake pitch to like show to do an homage. He did an Alex Bregman like chest tap to show him. Remember when the synergy, the synergy, they had a bum Phillips. When he passed away, he did the hat thing, the hat celebration. Goddamn, this guy gets it. He doesn't win in the playoffs as a little nod to Chris Paul. He gets it. He gets it.

Yeah, he absolutely gets it. He understands the importance of acknowledging other good athletes. Yeah, he understands the point where he's dating one. Yeah. Hey, you guys, you guys watch sports, right? You're watching me right now. You probably watch other sports. Let me do all these other sports things. And you know what? He nailed it.

He absolutely knew. Also, I love to Sean Watson absolutely dunking on reporters postgame. This is a new thing that he didn't actually dunk on anybody, but he just explained in great detail, the defense. We need to have in a more understandable way than Dan Quinn, probably. When's the Rams by week? We need to have Sean McVeigh go and ask to Sean Watson a question after a game.

Like, actually, that's not what happened and just have a dunk off. That would be nice. Dunk on each other. OK, before we get to our next one, we have two games left, and then we're going to get to some who's back. But football fans, are you an Amazon Prime member? Did you know that you have Thursday night football? That's right. Thursday night football has returned to Prime Video for a third season.

The cool thing is you can catch all the action on your TV, on the web or on your mobile anywhere in the world. And the experience is next level with Prime Video's X-ray feature. You can access next gen stats, play history and team information. And now it's available on iOS, Android, Fire Tablets and Fire TV. And if you're ready to hear a new take on the game, you can switch over to Sport Broadcast Legends Hannah Storm and Andrea Kramer for the play by play.

So if you don't have cable or simply want to experience a future of football, tune in this Thursday. Coverage begins at 7 p.m. Eastern and kickoff is at 8 20 p.m. Eastern, also available on Fox and NFL Network. NFL Network, Simulcast, subject to change. Thursday night football is presented by Bud Light Platinum. Broncos Chargers, the other game that Red Zone somehow forgot about, despite the fact it was one of two games being played in the late slot.

Yes, Vic Fangio. Class for Vic. Vic Fangio won and Brian Flores, you're on the clock. You're in trouble, dude. Good job, Vic. Vic won a game and congrats. The defense was good and the Chargers are done. I'm done with the Chargers.

They're my done chain of the week. Oh, shit. OK. I wanted to actually say thank you to Anthony Lin and say apology accepted. He apologized to me personally and all fans for having to watch that damn game. Yeah. So I accountability. Are you cool with my done chain? Yeah, absolutely. They're done. Yeah, put on the Chargers.

It's it's I'm done with I used to buy into the Chargers hype. I used to say, oh, my God, look at all these weapons they have. And I love Phil Rivers. I'm done with them. They can't. They'll never be what they think they are. They'll never be what I want them to. Right. They're like a son that's disappointed me over and over again.

And finally, I'm just accepting the fact that, you know what, you're just going to be in my basement for a while and that's fine. Well, and at this point with the Phil Rivers late down, late in the fourth quarter, late on a Sunday afternoon, which is a joke we've been making for a long time. It's now getting to the point where it's like you go to the same bar and then you look around and you're like, I'm kind of I'm kind of over this. Time to move on.

Phil Rivers, it's not funny anymore because it happens every single week and it's sad every single week. Yeah. He he throws the helmet. He's he's walking off after, you know, missed fourth down. Guys are fumbling. Guys can't get to the end zone. It's just the whole thing is sad. And you know what?

I love you, Phil Rivers, that anecdote that we saw about the last time the Broncos and chargers played in week 17 last year, when he said, hey, he was trash talking to a guy, trash talking to someone who intercepted him. He said, hey, you mother freak, you got lucky, man. I didn't see you. I love your game, man. You're a good player. He says, Mother Freaker, Mother Freaker. That's great. I love you, Phil Rivers, but I have to quit you. There was there was one point during this game where he was just staring at the sun.

The camera did a close up on him. He was just like observing the sun eyes wide open. A big deep breath in through his nose. And he looks back. He's drinking it all in, man. I love you, Phil Rivers, but I have to quit you because I can't handle it anymore. I want success and it's just never going to happen. The chargers are going to go eight and eight.

They're going to win a couple of games. They'll win. Look at their schedule. What? Hey, pull up their schedule. Do they have a Sunday night game against a team they shouldn't eat? They're playing next week in prime time against the Steelers. Well, that one, they should win. Yeah. And they'll win that one. And because duck will be stuck. Yeah.

Yeah, duck will be playing. But who else they have later in the season? They got the chiefs at and prime time. Yep. OK. And the Raiders at a 20. OK, so they'll beat the chiefs and the Vikings. Well, that's that's an auto win because it's Kirk Cousins. Kirk Cousins against a decent defense. So they'll beat the chiefs in prime time and everyone will say,

look out for the chargers. They're the team. And I'll be one of them saying that and they just won't do it. They're probably going to lose to the Raiders. I'm done. I feel like I feel like they're the Raiders when they should beat them. Yeah, tough break. Chargers, Dunchain. Should I I was I was going to put the Dunchain on on the Bears. But I'm not. No, I'm not going to.

I feel like that would be me. We have a bye week. That would be piling on. We're going to get it right. Speaking of right. Get it tight. Bye weeks. Let's say something nice about the Dolphins. Oh, they didn't lose this week. Congratulations. Good job. And you have the Redskins, a winnable game. Yep. Coming up. No one got arrested during the bye week yet. Then we know that we know if they might have fair.

You haven't had an offensive line coach do cocaine on live feed. So that's good this year. This year. OK, last game. Cowboys Packers. Aaron Rodgers owns the Cowboys in Dallas. I saw a study. He's five and oh in that building. And he did the thing where you can't have this if you're a team that wants to be taken seriously. And Aaron Rodgers said that he loves going there

and he loves being there. And it's like the intimidation factor is at a zero. Right. I feel like the Cowboys every single time they have a home game against a marquee franchise, half the stadiums, the other fans. And he I think Aaron Rodgers is going to kill Skip Ellis. Yes. He's going to kill him. Yes. Skip Ellis is freaking out.

Brought out the Mason Crossbar Tweets, obviously. And you're right. He's not intimidated by the dome. He's not intimidated by Jerry Jones, who's a drunk owner that thinks that he knows more than all the coaches because Aaron Rodgers is used to playing in front of 30,000 drunk owners that think that they know more than the coaches. Right. This is home away from home for him. I think that one playoff when if you win a game like that,

where that you have absolutely no business walking away with W, you feel entitled to that. Crossbar. Yeah, he said Skip Ellis said, I'm convinced Aaron Rodgers has some kind of hex over the Cowboys pins in voodoo dolls. Question mark, question mark, question mark, the Descatch, the Mason Crossbar cross country field goals. Now this now this this is right up. How about this is just Dak Prescott didn't play very well

and your defense couldn't stop the run at all. And the Packers, it's unfair. They basically are sweet. Their defense wasn't that good today, but the fact that they have a running game now. I have a take on that four touchdowns. I have a take about this about Dak Prescott. I think you should pay him right now.

I think that every week that you go without paying him is a week that he feels deep down inside like he doesn't deserve that contract. So if you give him his money, then he starts playing again like a guy that is owed that money. Well, he's clearly the last work in Minnesota. Yeah, these last two weeks, he has not been playing for his contract. I mean, we made the joke, but I think Jerry Jones is just going to play it like the stock market and wait till he can bottom out and then say, OK,

I'll pay you. I'll pay you this deck. Jerry Jones, by the way, he's getting to that part of the season where his team has flaws and he's realizing that he may die before they ever see another Super Bowl. He said about the flag off the Jason Garrett flag off, where he threw the red flag so hard at the ref that the ref then flagged him. He said, I hope the little darling didn't hear something he hadn't heard before. We should all stop the wheel over that if he got abuse of language.

That makes no sense. It does all stop the wheel. He's happy when he says if he got a penalty for abuse of language. Yeah, so he so he's calling out refs, little darlings, all this stuff. He's mad. I got a lot of respect for the ref that threw that flag, though. Do you see how high on the air? Oh, yeah. He knew he had the moment. It probably hit the scoreboard. Yes.

We also had Ellen DeGeneres and George W. Bush in the box together. What do you think they were talking about? I don't know, but I have a take. Hey, you like Bush. Oh, OK, that was that was cheap, but good. Yeah, yeah. That's hey, that that right there is a fucking compliment. Ellen, she has a new iPhone.

I have a take. I hate people who get the new iPhone within the first month. It's such a fucking brag. Do you think Ellen stood in line somewhere? Probably not. It's such a brag. You know it too, because they walk around and they're like, I got the new iPhone. She also did that whole bullshit selfie thing for the which wasn't an iPhone thing. So she's a trader as well. Which one?

Wait, at the Oscars? That was that was a cell phone ad for like the Galaxy or whatever. Oh, yeah. And it all said Kevin Spacey in it. Yep. Oh, trader. Ah, very, very interesting. But don't you guys agree when you when the new iPhone comes out? Look at my phone. My phone barely works anymore.

Yeah, she's on the screen like a second. Well, it's smashed. I mean, yeah, case it's smashed to bits. But I listen, I have no problem with how I live my life. It's exhilarating to be skin on metal every day. But then you can't pitch about like almost like shit. Well, yeah, no, I'm not pitching. I'm not pitching. Let me finish.

You're a fucking schnuck eating egg noodles and ketchup every day with your your phone case. I'm not pitching at all. What I'm saying is I desperately need a new phone, obviously, because I'm very I'm a bad boy and I don't have a case. But I would never get the new iPhone within the first month because then everyone looks at you and they're like, that guy thinks he's better than everyone. Well, it's also the fact that I like hearing people complain

about what's wrong about the new iPhone and then I feel smart for not getting it. Right. It's like, yeah, that's why I didn't upgrade yet. But if you get it right away, then you are the new iPhone guy. And then you have to keep doing that. Every time everyone knows the person who gets a new iPhone immediately. Now you're an Apple fucking robot. You probably wear a turtleneck and start a fake blood company out in Silicon Valley and get a bunch of billionaires to invest.

And then you steal their money. Yep, you go out to the Apple conventions and then you clap for the CEO, Tim Apple, whenever he shows you a phone, he's like, oh, it's got more pixels. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They're ready to watch. Oh, my God. It's so cool. I love it. Shut up. I love the fucking pixels. I use all Apple shit. I I'm a robot for them, but I will not get a phone within the first month.

I'm here, though, for Ben Rathausberger becoming an Apple guy. Yeah. In his retirement, just like a turtleneck. Well, they don't make a turtleneck big enough to go around Ben Rathausberger's face. But it's bullshit that iPhones will come with AirPods either. That is bullshit. That is bullshit. Hank, I'm trying to get swaggy over here. I've lost four pairs of AirPods. Wait. So Ellen had it's impressive, right? That's impressive.

Ellen had the new iPhone. Is George Bush an iPhone guy? I don't know. He feels like a flip phone. Yeah. Flip phone or Galaxy. Can we go back to Ben real quick? I would imagine that, you know, when you play NHL and you go back to like the 94 controls and you're like, I just want I just want X shoot.

Oh, pass. Big Ben definitely walked into the genius bar and said, just just make it a regular watch. Yeah. Can you just go back to the factory settings? We're just time. Can you show me where the hands like the screen that's got the hands on it? Take everything else off of it. I'm old enough to remember when having an unauthorized clock

would get you invited to the White House. And nowadays, it gets you a $5,000. Hey, cool, simpler times. That'd be fucking hilarious if Trump tweeted out, hey, cool clock, Ben. You want to bring it to the White House? Yeah, I wouldn't. That wouldn't be crazy for him to do. No, do it. You would do it.

You won't the game. Some stats about that game real quick, because this this caught my eye when I saw Skip Bayless get angry about it. Cowboys had five hundred sixty three yards. Packers had three thirty five. So speaking of that usually happens when you're when your quarterback throws three interceptions, that's true. It's like it's the equivalent of winning the popular vote,

but losing the electoral vote. Shout out, George W. Bush. There you go. It's a full circle. Commemoration. Yeah, so the Packers are back and the Cowboys now have a bunch of questions and everyone's going to doubt them until they have, I don't know, playing the Redskins soon.

Now, probably they already did once. But yeah, playing the Giants soon. And then they'll be back to being the best team. Amari Cooper, shout out to him. Two hundred and twenty three. Anytime you hit you hit a two as a wide receiver. It's like any time you lay a deuce on somebody. I'm like, that's got to be a record.

I said, I said, whoa, I didn't realize he was that good today. OK, let's do our been paid yet. You know, I don't think he has. Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, come on, buddy. You got to start going under the table. They got the Jets and then. OK, so yeah, they'll be back to Super Bowl. They'll be fine next week.

Champions next week. OK, let's do our who's back of the week and a couple segments, including football guys. Hank, do you want to start? Sure, we're going to get into this a little more with this league later, but the NBA is back finally. Oh, thank God. Thank God. Preseason is back.

I feel like the main storylines. Everyone's talking about James Harden's like one one footed step back three. You guys seen that? Yeah, I did see that. He's like in the preseason that he was in. That was like the biggest crowd reaction, like more than a dunk more than anything. He took he took the step back to the one footed. Everyone went crazy.

One footed. And then also the Lakers tweeted, you all have been put on notice. Oh, yes, you played well in the preseason. Yeah, Anthony Davis and LeBron's like shaking hands after a dunk or something, and they're like, you all have been put on notice, which bookmark that tweet. Anthony Davis had five dunks in the first half. I think I saw that.

And Taco Mania is sweeping Boston Taco Mania. He got he got not just standing ovation played well. Everyone loves him and favorite. And my favorite new story for next year is how all the real warriors fans got priced out because they're in their new arena now. So they were showing a bunch of pictures like this is bullshit. All these, you know, tech bros are taking over the warriors before.

It was just real working class fan base that would go sit front row at war games. And remember, they don't have Jay Z that clays out. So they're probably not. Well, no, they fuck. I forgot all about D'Angelo Russell. Shit, the war is going to be really good again. OK, is that it?

OK, OK. My who's back of the week is USA Rugby. Shout out USA Rugby. They're back. That hasn't happened in a while. We won the cup. We beat New Zealand. Covered. It's amazing.

No, we know we won. All right, so now get to the punchline. We beat New Zealand in the women's in the women's sevens tournament this weekend and the HSBC World Series of Sevens that took place in the United States. So shout out USA Rugby. What was the boys back to boys? The back. Does that work for women's?

Yeah, of course. We're all boys in the grand scheme of things. We're all we're all born asexual. It's true without genitals. So we're one of the guys people hanging out. The 15th team hasn't done that well in the World Cup. What are they? What's the record? It's fine.

They lost again by 50. No, that's they got a field is also back track and field. Why I was watching it this weekend. That's it. So it's back. It's paying attention. There we go. What's your favorite? That's a low bar, but I like it. Uh, I we met a kid, this kid, Milo, who's like,

I forget what country he's in, but he's actually in the pole vaulting pole vaulting school. So I've been watching that, thinking I'm going to see him. I haven't seen him yet. Every time Alison Stoke. I'm rooting for her. Every time I watch a pole vaulting video, I just, I'm afraid that it's going to go up their butt.

Yeah. You think you think it's easy? Oh my God, Hank. Well, add that to the list of things that have to do with fish and he's got a pole. Because there's no chance you can pull vault. How many meters? How would you mean? How many meters? Like high? Yeah.

Dude, you won't get off the ground. Eight. No, it's a lot. You, yeah, you won't. No, you have to use of, I don't think Hank. You have to just get no meters. There doesn't even have to be a bar. One meter. You just have to hit the thing and get all the way up and then come down

without breaking all of your bones. Into the mat and without the pole going into your butt. Okay. Zero percent chance. How many chances are we giving you? I mean, I gotta, I gotta like try it out. You're going to get so hurt. Yeah. This is not going to end well. You're going to be so hurt.

I need cameras on all of it. All right. All right. Okay. Perfect. All right. My who's back is larger guys because I don't know if you guys saw our friend of the program, Stav from come town had tweeted out that Bonnebos is, is that how you say it? Sure. Bonobos is doing ads

where they're going to larger guys calling it the prominent fit. It's true. Not fat guys, not large, not extra large, not big and tall. It's the prominent fit. Yeah. I think that's great. That's a great new term. You're rebranding. Yes. I looked up synonyms for prominent.

We could just go on and on for big guys. Okay. Distinguished. The distinguished fit, the notable. That is actually the nicest thing you can say about a fat guy is you're notable. I think, I think that you're, you're also kind of appropriating this culture now because you're not lost a little weight.

Yeah. I've lost a little weight. Thank you for not as prominent as you used to be. Noteworthy, important, imminent. I like imminent. Famed. Hey, I'm just. Trotuberant. Give me a, give me what size shirt are you? I'm the, I'm the esteemed size.

You're conspicuous. No. Easily seen. Influential procedure. There's you go. I like this though. We should start doing this for anything that people look down on. Let's just flip it on its head. The prominent fit.

Notice to all people who asked me for money on the streets instead of saying, hey, big guy, which I get every single day. How about, hey, prominent guy. That's, that would be much more likely to give you, you give them money. Yeah. If they said that. I'm like, oh, me?

Yeah. I think that fat guys are getting a little too much shine recently. Really? Well, it's our season. It's your season. It's, it's bad season right now. Yup.

It's like we talk about fat guy touchdowns and football. Everyone gets excited. No one talks about little guy touchdowns. Like best short film should be what we call. Little guy touchdowns would be good. Itty bitty titties. Darren Sprouls.

Just to highlight. Tyler Reels or him. Darren Sprouls. All I'm saying is that you guys have been prominent for quite some time. Yeah. Me, guys like me and Dan Snyder that work real hard. We don't get a lot of love.

We'll call you the itty bitty size. Itty bitty. What size shirt does PFT wear? He wears it itty bitty. I wear a, I wear an extra medium. All right. PFT, you got an ad for us before we get to football guys this week.

Yeah, I do. I want to talk to you guys about Bud Light. Yes. We love Bud Light. We love drinking it. We love holding a nice cool can of Bud Light against our forehead on a hot day for any of your tailgate, Sunday football,

barbecue, happy hour, engagement party, wedding, camping, bonfire, adult softball league, family gathering, office party, date night, bachelor party, bachelorette party, fishing, purchasing a new home, birthday graduation or simply because it's Friday needs, look no further than a Bud Light. And for any of your businesses or personal printing needs,

look no further than Minuteman Press. Yep, that's right. Rather than spending an entire ad, the read reminding you that it's beer and it's crisp and it's great for every occasion. Bud Light is giving the other half of its ad reach to small businesses, but we don't do free ads. The read must include the words crisp and Bud Light.

So I'm talking about crisp, Bud Light, and I'm talking to you guys about Minuteman Press. Minuteman specializes in business cards, corporate branding, brochures and much more. Enjoy a Bud Light and relax while Minuteman prints your paper crisp and hot off the press. Even Rick Petino will say, Minuteman Press and New Rochelle gets your job done fast.

Wow, that's pretty quick. Check it out, Minuteman Press and New Rochelle for a chance to have your small business featured. Simply tweet or DM at Bud Light and ad for your business. But remember, your script has to include the words crisp and Bud Light, so shout out to our friends at the Minuteman Press and New Rochelle. Okay, let's get to a football guy of the week.

We have some good nominees. First up, we have Virginia Tech linebacker Alan Tisdale puking on the field immediately before play and then playing the play. Puking rally. Let me use this time too to say that Miami, of all the fake back schools, Miami is the fakest. Yes, they're not back at all.

They're not back at all. They stink so bad. I like any play where a player is puking but doesn't really move or get out of their stance. There's something that's just high comedy about puking while you're walking and not bending over. You see that umpire that puked the other day? No.

It's just projectile vomited water. Joe West? Yeah, I wish. I wish. That's what he stores in his Pelican jam pouch. All right, next up we have LSU strength coach Tommy Moffitt having an assistant hit him in the back with a folding chair to make sure the quote, quote,

the players were awake ahead of an 11 a.m. kickoff. That's, I mean, that's strength coach 101. That's an alarm clock if you're a strength and conditioning coach. Just getting hit in the back. Yes. Should we do? Is that the guy that headbutts players on the sidelines

and makes his face bleed? Sure. I think it's probably the same. If not, they're cut from the same cloth and I'm sure they're best buddies. We have next up Titans head coach Mike Fribble, our friend standing sadly in the rain with his wet mustache.

What do you think it was pouring rain? What was he doing out there? Just soaking in the moment. Literally soaking in the moment. Just getting a feel, just getting a smell of the rain. As sad as it looked, I just think that Mike Fribble is the type of guy he has his pregame routine.

And no matter what the weather, he's going to go through his pregame routine. So if it's He usually does stairs too, yeah. Right. I'm going to one up and say, the mustache is not a great look for being wet. I'm just saying any wet dude.

Yeah. Looks sad. Wet dudes in general. Wet dudes and wet dogs. They look bad. They smell bad. Yeah. It's bad.

Okay. And then last, Kyle Long, when he was asked which London landmarks he would like to visit, he said, I want to see what the end zones are like at Tottenham Stadium. I could have seen some more. He wanted to see him and he saw him. Whatever.

He went there. Okay. Let's do some segments. Wrap up the show. By the way, we have Gary Bucion on Wednesday. He's awesome. He is. It was a very, very interesting interview. What did you think of that interview, Hank?

I mean. Way better than expected. He's, he was off the reservation, but with it. Yes. He's on it. Yes. He brought us to his reservation. And then we partied on his reservation.

My mind is still blown. It's like Bill Walton 2.0. He was awesome. So good. He was more put together than Bill Walton, but also more out of it. Right. Right.

I felt like I alternately deeply, deeply connected with what Gary Bucion was saying, but then I also got confused at my own thoughts that he made me think. Right. Right. It was an awesome one. So be excited for that. Okay. Segments.

This league, Darryl Morey, someone explained to me what's going on. So I fully understand. Okay. So there's, there are protests going on in Hong Kong. As somebody who has been to Hong Kong recently, I think they're centered around drug usage. Like not enough Molly. Not enough Molly.

Yep. They're actually centered around, they're upset that the Chinese government is trying to enforce their own extradition laws on Hong Kong and kind of Hong Kong exists as its own district. Right. And then China is Amsterdam. Yeah. It's like Amsterdam or like,

use it all in like shows that I've watched. Okay. So, so Hong Kong's like Amsterdam. Right. And then Charles Clay and the entire state of Maryland are like, shit, we're going to make you stop using drugs because we're not getting any money off your drugs. Got it. And so we're going to get money off your drugs.

And also you need to extradite all your drug dealers to China. And bubbles. Yeah. Bubbles is coming. Bubbles is coming to mainland China and we're going to try him underneath Chinese law. Who's Omar? Omar is probably, I don't know that many people in Hong Kong. All right. So Daryl Morey was like,

Daryl Morey is kind of the cop. What was the guy's name? McNulty. McNulty. Yeah. Daryl Morey. This is okay. So what happens to Daryl Morey is saying like, Amsterdam guy?

No. Yeah. Oh yeah. The other, the Amsterdam guy. Buddy Coleman. Yeah. He's Buddy Coleman. So he's like, hey, this is a good idea. You should, Amsterdam should exist. Yes. And then the for Tata, the Rockets owner.

He's like Ziggy. He's like, fuck this. This shouldn't exist. He's like Ziggy, the guy that crashes. Got it. Okay. So what's the problem now? So the problem is that Daryl Morey tweeted at his support of the protesters in Hong Kong.

Can't do that. And it just so happens that the Rockets make a shitload of money off of mainland China. So he's rubbing people the wrong way over there. Yao Ming. Yeah. Yao Ming is pissed off at Daryl Morey. Yao Ming works for the Chinese.

Rockets. This leads. Chinese NBA and they're anti-rockets now. Got it. They're trying to push an agenda too. They basically have taken the Rockets off their streaming service. So it's like, if you're in mainland China

and it's like 50 million people, you're not allowed to watch Rocket games. If you paid for like a league pass for the Rockets, you have to pick another team. Holy shit. They're like pushing. All because of a tweet? All because of a tweet.

Yeah. So that's why they have to apologize and shit. They're like pushing the nets as like the new Chinese NBA team. So the Rockets are like, the Rockets are fucked. So and the best part is that the NBA came out and basically disavowed Daryl Morey, right? The NBA was like, no, he doesn't speak for us. Even though the NBA is like the biggest,

like we stand for human rights and all these things and we're the most progressive league. But if you fuck with our money, just kidding. Communist by sneakers too is what they're saying. I like that. I like the NBA is just showing that like, hey, we want to do like, hey, If you got against Trump, it doesn't cost us anything.

Yeah. No NBA all star game in Charlotte. But if we're talking about people wanting to be free, just kidding, we got to sell league pass to them. Right. Oh, we don't see any video of the millions of Muslims that you're imprisoning. So we're not gonna say anything bad about you.

They put themselves in a real pickle. They did. I wish Magic Johnson was still affiliated with the Lakers so he could tweet about this. It's a good life lesson. Good luck to both the protesters in Hong Kong and the Chinese government. Yeah, it's a good luck.

It will be interesting to see who wins this dispute. All your, all your, all the kids out there, it's a good life lesson. Your morals are only morals until it fucks with your wallet. Do you think that this is common theme in the wire? It's common theme in the world. It's the entire, how the entire world works. Do you think that this is why the NBA said,

we're not going to allow any ninja style headbands? Like, because that's a Japanese, the Japanese ninja. So it's a signal to the Chinese communist government being like, hey, we've got your back. We're on your side. Yes. I think it's possible. I think it's very possible.

All right, so they got themselves in a pickle. This league is back. It also could be, it could be related to remember when Leangelo Ball got arrested over in China and then he mysteriously just got released back to the United States real quick. A little quid pro quo. President Trump released, got him.

Okay, so Leangelo and ASAP Rocky are two most important cultural exports have been returned. All I know is I got my eye on this Fratata guy. He seems like a real lightning rod. Is his name Fratata? The Rockets owner? Is it? It's Fratata?

If it's Fratata, that's a hell of a name. I'm going to search it right now, Rockets owner. I'm pretty sure you do an ad PFD, our last ad and then I'm going to search his name. Rockets owner. Oh, I just like to say as. Oh yeah, Fratata. Fratata, are we allowed to speak for the New Zealand,

for the New Zealand breakers? Yes. Which way do you want to go on this? Ooh. Do you want to? Bro. How about we'll go good cop, bad cop? Bro. No, no, no.

We got to just. People in mainland China listen to PMT too. Here's what we have to do. We don't want to shut that off. A lot of words that say nothing. Okay, I think I can do this. We're certainly looking into aspects of everything that's happening in Hong Kong

and we are pro human rights across the board. And I think that it's important before jumping to any conclusions, we wait for all the facts to come out. Well, more than that, PFD, I think the most important thing is to listen to a lot of people here and open a dialogue. So we have to have a conversation about what's going on in the world. And then we're going to put together a panel.

We're going to talk to people. We have put many women and minorities on this panel. So we are going to get a lot of different perspectives. And once we have a conversation, we will put, we'll have a task force. Okay. And then our task force on Daryl Maury tweets, that's what we're going to call it.

We'll then make a judgment on this. So tune in, because we will probably release this statement the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving. There you go. There you have it. So to those of us for coming out strongly on this event. Someone transcribe that please and put that out as a press release.

Before we get to the rest of the show, I want to talk about Dollar Shave Club. When I talk about Dollar Shave Club, I can't stress enough the quality of their products. They've spent years developing, crafting, and refining everything. They have everything I used to look, feel, and smell my best. You name it, they've got it.

I use it. I've been a Dollar Shave Club member for years. And as amazing as our Shave stuff is, Dollar Shave Club is way more than just razors. I use their toothpaste every single day. I love that it ships to me on a schedule. I think I've talked about this before, but it does take a load off

when you don't have to worry about getting down to the end of a tube of toothpaste. When you know that it's there in your bathroom stock ready to go. I use their executive razor. I use their prep scrub. I use their post-shave do. I love everything that I get from Dollar Shave Club

and they've got you covered head to toe. Everything you need to shower, shave, style your hair, brush your teeth, and yes, even wipe your butt. And Dollar Shave Club can keep you automatically stocked up on the products you use. You can get whatever you want, whenever you need it,

whether that's once a month or a few times a year. I never have to waste time out of store wondering if what I get is any good because at Dollar Shave Club, I know what I'm getting is the highest quality. And right now, you can put the quality of Dollar Shave Club's products to the test. Their ultimate shave starter set

has basically everything you need for an amazing shave. The executive razor, shave butter, prep scrub, and post-shave do. And the best part is you can try it for just five bucks. After that, the restock box ships regular sized products at regular prices. Get your ultimate starter set for just five bucks at dollarshaveclub.com slash PMT.

That's dollarshaveclub.com slash PMT. Okay, let's talk some baseball. Natitude. Natitude is, we hit a little speed bump. You got a bad Natitude. Hit a speed bump tonight. That's fine. It was a bad Natitude night.

It turns out that having your starting pitchers also be your relief pitchers isn't the best strategy going into postseason baseball. Day one game, two. And there was a moment, since I put a future bet on Natitude, winning the World Series, figured it worked for the Capitals,

trying to help you out, maybe get some good juju going. Thank you. When they were up to one, I said, I'm rich. You counting your money already. Cause they were gonna beat the Dodgers, then they were gonna steamroll the Braves

or the Cardinals, and then shock the world with the Astros. Not the Yankees. No, the Astros are gonna, the Astros are gonna, do we all agree the Astros are gonna kill the Yankees? So the Yankees, the Twins should stop.

I feel bad for the Twins. The Astros are gonna kill the Yankees? Yeah. The Twins won 101 games. I, how? I, they hit a lot of homeruns. That's right. And how many times did they beat the Immortals this year?

Not to my own horn, but I did say the Twins were gonna win the A.L. Central when we did our preseason predictions that no one writes down or no one cares about, solely based on the fact that I had been hearing about the Twins rebuild for long enough that I said, it seems like it's about time.

So they won 101 games and they're just roadkill for the Yankees. They started a cab driver in the second game, not looking down on him. I know people are very upset, which is the dumbest controversy ever. So the, the fans at Yankee Stadium were chanting Uber, Uber, Uber,

because they were trying to get in rab, Randy Dobbins head during the game. And people are big mad about it because it's like, oh, you're talking down about somebody's profession. It's like, well, it's, you kind of gave them a lot of meat on the bone to work with because every story going into that game was about how he drove a cab in the off season.

Also, Randy Dobnick was probably, he's probably had been in locker rooms his whole life. He's probably had similar jokes been made. He's probably made similar jokes. He probably thought it was funny. And guess what? That's sports. I just can't stand people who write about sports

that forget what rooting for a team and being passionate about a team, what that feels like. Because if you're in a playoff atmosphere, you're jacked up, you're, you know, probably drunk. You're going to the game with your friends, your family, whoever. And you know that the guy was an Uber driver.

You're going to chant Uber. It's funny. It wasn't mean. I don't think it was mean. They should actually have chanted that at James Winston. That would be a more appropriate usage of the chant. When they do that. They probably have. They probably will. Yeah.

But it was the moral of the story is as big cat saying, if you're drunk enough, you can chant whatever you want on it. Pretty much. Well, not all the way. But don't you think that's the stupid thing to be mad about? I think on the, in the larger scheme of things in life, it's probably pretty dumb.

You're not, you're not like making fun of his dead family. You're not talking about a job that he had. I'm sure that we have Uber drivers that listen to part of my tick. We're not looking down. That's awesome. I would want to be an Uber driver. But we are saying that if you're pitching

against the Yankees in a playoff game, you would probably expect that the crowd would bring up the fact that you're an Uber driver. If I, if I keep losing my can't lose parlay, I'm going to be an Uber driver. Yeah. The good way to kind of judge whether or not a chant is acceptable is would Randy Quaid say it during the major league movies?

And I think he absolutely would say it during the major league movies. It's just so stupid that all these people, and then of course it was classic internet 2019 where the backlash to the backlash was even larger than the backlash. So then I started hating those people, the people who were mad about their right to chant.

Right. Like no dude, just let it live in the moment. Just leave it there. You don't have to go online and start fighting everyone who's, who's mad about this because it was, honestly, I look for it. It was like four people. Four people said it was a classless thing. Those four people don't really like sports. They just write, you know, cover sports.

So don't get mad at them because now you make yourself look like an asset. Just leave it. Just leave it in the fucking stadium. But anyway, yeah, the Yankees are going to steamroll the twins. They'll probably sweep them. The Cardinals choked one away. Yeah. Yeah. And they really did choke one away.

Yeah. Big time. I'm not saying that in the mean way. I'm speaking facts. I want the Braves to win as much as possible unless they're playing against the Nats, because every single time the Braves get a postseason victory, to me, that counts towards the mid 90s Braves that didn't get enough.

Bobby Cox put it on the list. And then the Astros, which you don't think the Astros are going to beat the Yankees, Hank? I don't think they're going to do it as easily as you say they're going to do it. Oh, yeah, they are. Bronx bombers. Dude. You don't feel the electricity in the city. You know it beats the Bronx bombers

Justin Verlander and Garrett Cole. I was telling you guys before I looked it up. Garrett Cole had 33 swing and misses on Saturday night. It's 15 strikeouts. That seems like he's insane. He's on a different level. And then who are they pitching in game three? Oh, Zach Cranky.

I mean, it's ridiculous. It's pretty good. So the Astros are going to win the World Series as first reported by Alex Bregman on this very show. But yeah, I mean, playoff baseball is pretty awesome, except Natitude's. No, Natitude's not dead. I'm I'm not going to the game.

I've decided tomorrow because your sugar daddy couldn't. Yeah, because Marlon's man couldn't take me. He said he's got Marlon's man big time me. And he's got appointments and stuff that he's going to. He's not going to be in very important, very important meetings that he has to make, I'm sure. But yeah, I'm not going to this game. Maybe maybe I'll go to game or I guess it would be game three

next round. Yes. OK, yeah, I'll see you in game three. There you go against the Braves. Yeah, against the Bravos. OK, the Bravos are going to be playing the Nats. That's going to be great. Yeah, it's going to be Max Scherzer for the first four innings, Strasburg for three, and then Anibal for the last four.

Max Scherzer versus Rich Hill tomorrow. OK, I feel good about that. I feel good about that. Yeah, Rich Hill throws soft. There you go. There you go. Dude, I'm I'm scared for anybody that has to face Max Scherzer on the mound.

Yes, I'm just terrified. That gift is remade where he just says, what is it? He's like, I'm going to fuck you up, bitch. Yeah, you're my bitch. Yeah. He's taking it easy. I'm glad that he found baseball, because if not, he would probably be a serial killer.

Even his face looks like the cover of making a murder where it's two different. Yes. Yes. Oh, speaking of which, I went out to dinner on Friday night and there was like the ambiance music was playing and they started playing the song from Sounds of the Lamps. And it ruined the vibe. That's the song when he does the manjaina.

Yeah. He's like, would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. Buffalo Bill. Do they have five of beans on the menu? It was dude. It really kills the vibe when you start thinking about a dude in the mirror looking at himself saying, would you fuck me?

I'd fuck me. You know what would be awful skin actually be a great prank. If you own a restaurant one night, just play the soundtrack to two girls, one cup and look around and see who gets it. Who's in the know? Who's in the know? Okay. Oh, I forgot to mention shit.

Parcelgold.com slash PMT. If you want to watch this parcelgold.com slash PMT Monday reading, here we go. We'll finish up the show. My boyfriend of one year is obsessed with a porn star. OK, that's normal, right? Hey, what's your favorite porn star? I don't know.

Yeah, you don't watch porn. I don't watch porn. Nice to see you too. All right. So this is normal. I like them all. So this is this is really weird for me. I could understand if my boyfriend was just because she

was co-workers. There you go. You got it. I could understand if my boyfriend was fascinated with a female porn. Mine's Carter Cruz because I forgot her name like a month ago and I was talking about ECU. There you go.

Mine is what's that guy's name? Evan Stone. That's a good one. He was the main character in Stagnati's Revenge one and two. Pirate porn. OK, so this is really weird for me. I could understand if my boyfriend was fascinated with a female porn star, but instead,

he is obsessed with a male porn star that he likes to call two tone Malone. Some of you might know him. For those that don't know, he's a male porn star where there's an obvious distinction in color between his shaft and his head. Two tone Malone makes sense, right? I don't think I'm being homophobic,

but it bothers me when he mentions how he wishes his dick was as big and multicolored as the male porn stars is. Jesus Christ. OK, I mean, we all have our own insecurities. I want stuff such as firmer butt or tighter stomach. Hey, listen, girl, you're good as you. But he is literally obsessed with this guy.

He goes around telling not only me, but also his friends about how he only watches porn with him in it now. And he's not lying. I've seen his collection. And I'm pretty sure his friends are also weirded out by it. Any thoughts? Yeah, I've got a couple of thoughts right off the bat. If you really want it so bad, you

should just get those colors tattooed on yourself. Yes, good point. They do they do tattoos. There's a solution for you. You should get that form. Maybe if you did that, he would stop talking about him. Maybe. Probably not.

I don't think so. If you're obsessed with a male porn star, I guess it makes sense to be obsessed with one that has a hilarious dick. Yes. Because it's like a romantic comedy every time you watch it. Yes, yes. OK, normally I would think this is just a phase

and he'll get over it and forget about this guy. After all, I'm sure we've all had celebrity crushes that we no longer care about. Britney Spears. It's not any Christian Aguilera. You were Christina. Cardi B. Over here. You don't care?

Over there. Hank? Spears. Yeah, Britney Spears. Oh, were you later Spears? Crazy Britney? Toxic, toxic Britney Spears. I'm talking about like late 90s Britney.

Yeah, when we were at the same age as her. Pam Anderson too. Always the same. Always the goat. My wire broke like three of my computers because of that. The Tommy Lee when he honked the boat with his dick. That video in like Vince Carter dunk videos. One in the same.

And there were probably many computers in the Lockwood house. They're probably both mislabeled as the other one. Yeah. Download the. They're all like soldier boy songs. How many millions of people do you think have seen Tommy Lee honk that boat with his dick? Probably probably I'd say 70 million.

70 million. 70 million people. Hilarious Tommy Lee is like one of those guys that you knew right away. That he was the guy in the friend group who just did like the dick pranks because his dick was so funny. Mm hmm. What were you going to say?

Sorry. There was like a CNN documentary about the 90s and it was like said like 30% of porn or 30% of the internet was just people on porn and most of that was people coming for the Pam Anderson sex. So maybe more. Basically like below that tape. She revolutionized the internet.

Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. OK, normally I would think it's just a phase to get over it. However, as of right now, he's actually considering circumcision purely for cosmetic reasons because he finds it really hot when two tone initially sticks his pailer part of his dick in for a while. The teaser girl then shoves in the darker.

Oh wait. So it's the other way around. Yeah, this absolutely changes everything. Yes. Because OK, I thought it was a situation where it looked like a candy apple at the end of a straw. Right. But no, it's not what you're saying.

It's like like a Hershey's hug that's connected to. It's a straw wearing a hat. It's like a log. No, it's when they give you the straw, but they keep the top of the paper on so that you know it's fresh. Is it paper straw? Yeah, the paper straw.

No, no, it's a regular straw. It's a plastic straw. Is he going to chew right through the paper? Black straw with a paper on the top. OK, got it. That is a pretty hilarious dick. That is very funny. Now is this a white gentleman or is it an African American?

I don't know. I don't know. Hank, look it up. Two tone alone. I mean, I'm going to look it up. All right, here we go. I understand that it's his body and he can do whatever he wants.

But I don't think he should go through with an unnecessary procedure with all the risks involved. I personally don't have a preference between cut and uncut. Let's see it. Hank's showing us two tone alone. Let's see, Hank. Can I see? It's just a Photoshop of Kevin Malone.

Oh. Like post Malone face tattoos. Is this a real person? Yeah, it must be. I personally don't have a preference between cut and uncut. I've been with both. But I also don't want to deal with him bringing his fetish of a two tone dick into the bedroom.

He actually had me say things like, don't stick the dark part in yet. It's too big. Yo, this guy, I kind of get what he's like. Most people will go to the gym and yell Kobe when they shoot a three. This guy is just saying, hey, tell me to not put the dark part in yet when he's having sex.

It's important to have heroes no matter what you're doing. Are you looking, Hank? Did you find him? Not yet. How have you guys not found him? Two tone alone, porn star. I'm looking up two tone Malone. What?

Oh, OK. No, no, people know him as two tone Malone. There's actually a man that goes by two tone Malone. I'm not seeing anything about him. OK. Here's two blondes, one two tone. I'm watching a two tone Malone porn right now. OK, so am I.

He's a handsome fella, I must say. Oh, I see it. It's not as two tone as you did. That's not that bad. All right. This is gone. It's gone sideways. You know what it is.

OK, so here's what we're just. This is a part of my take. We're just watching porn while you listen. Here's what two tone Malone is. It's like a golfer after they get done finishing on 18 and they take their hat off. And it's got a little tan line at the top of it. That's exactly what it looks like.

Yeah. All right. Is we'll wrap up here. Is there anything I could say to help him forget about this fetish? And more importantly, the circumcision. I've already told them how I like to stick just the way it is and how I don't think two tone is that attractive. I really don't.

His face is kind of weird. No, no, it's not. And I just looked at him. But I guess guys don't care about that. I say let him be him. Yeah. When you look up to Tony seems like actually a like it's the old. He's very successful.

It's the old like, hey, at least, you know, I might have my bike. Like I've I've ate at least I don't smoke crack. Mm hmm. He is his celebrity crush slash role model in life is two tone Malone. At least it's not Kim Jong-un. Yeah, it could be worse. He could just want put on perspective. There's a totally one tone penis, which I think would probably look stranger.

Right. So let him do his thing. We all have our heroes unless two tone alone. Actually, this is what you need to do. You need to reach out to two tone Malone and have him do the Charles Barkley. I am not a role model. That would be good. Or just you could write two tone Malone a letter and be like, Hey, man,

I want to be just like you. Could I get your autograph? Yeah. Can we have a catch? Yeah. Can you autograph my dick? Yeah. Can you just color in the bottom part of my dick with a light brown

marker? This might sound weird, but I always just kind of wanted to catch a load. Two tone. It's, it's a little strange. I understand where this person is coming from, but you know what? Like some women, they want to change things about their bodies and that's fine. Yeah. If a guy wants to make his penis look like a churro that's been dipped in vanilla frosting. Beautiful.

Let him do it. Beautiful. Love is love. Love is love. OK, that's our show. We have Gary Busey coming on Wednesday. Get excited. It's awesome.

Love you guys. It's Pardon My Ting, presented by Barstool Sports.