Pardon My Take - NFL Week 6, Fastest 2 Minutes, Mariota + Jameis, Plus A Restaurant For Magicians

Episode Date: October 14, 2019

Fastest 2 minutes for Week 6 (2:27 - 9:11). We recap every game (9:11 - 78:39). Is Jameis the funniest quarterback of all time? Panic in Cleveland? Say something nice about the Dolphins. The Ravens need to earn Big Cat's respect. The Cowboys and Rams are in trouble and the Niners are for real. Duck mania and the Titans are buttcheeks. Who's back of the week including Hank not saying hello to Kevin Durant (78:39 - 90:05). College Football recap, Football guy of the week, Talking baseball, and Monday Reading - My Husband wants to open a restaurant for magicians (90:05 - 105:51). You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, add free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, football. Week six, recap of every single game. We have fastest two minutes. We also are gonna talk a little college football,

a wild weekend, bad weekend to be a Georgia sports fan. Even though we talked about that on Friday, things got somehow worse for you this weekend. We also have some playoff baseball. Who's back in a very, very bizarre Monday reading before we get to all of that. Pardon my take is brought to you by the Cash App. The Cash App is the most powerful way

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So download now. Okay, let's go. It's part of my tape presented by Barstool Spookers. Welcome to part of my tape presented by Cash App. Use the hashtag BadBeatsMonday and tweet your Cash App to us and they will help out some people who had some bad losses. Today is Monday, October 14th, almost tax day, but we have week six.

We start in Kansas City where the battle of the 2017 first rounders set the stage for a thrilling game. It was a supporting cast that took center stage when Carlos hide your kids, hide your wife, rumble, then bumble, then his way to 116 yards in a score and Tyrico Bosco Hill scored twice as much as Toledo did on Saturday. The Shanti Watson was always on time

with his receivers as the Clemson quarterback ja ruled this matchup and the Texans are on fire fast while the Chiefs are left willing to suck a dick for a healthy offensive lineman. Texans 31, Chiefs 24, what? Out in Denver, Colorado, where Marcus there's something about Mariota had Mike Vrabel give him an earful and Suave Joe Flacco look great by comparison.

What is that, hair gel boom? He got that nut, teach. The Titans hope Ryan Black and Tana Hill will be the stout cure for what else him as he tries to take that all important next step without screening his MCL. Bob Lindsey Vaughn got downhill in a hurry for Denver as Vic Fangio's defense was tougher to pass on

than his own kidney stone. Bronco 68, Titans 0. In Minnesota where Stefan Diggs was loving cousins like he was born in the state of Alabama and Stefan, can you digs it? Had Kirk Cousins white boy dancing like Mark Madsen in a like Lakers championship parade and Stefan Urkel Diggs asked, did I do that?

When he magically turned Kirk Cousins into a competent quarterback. And finally, Stefan Diggs says, Minneapolis's hottest new club is Kurtz, a Ray VDM where a DJ draped in a wet blanket served steaks on tinfoil as a subwar for his blast. You like that? On repeat and the hostesses will come directly

to your table to roast your name, Twitter account. Vikings 38, Eagles 20. What? We go way out west where the battle of the chill Calibro's Kyle and Sean took us to the Los Angeles Sunday Stadium and an old school NFC wife showed up. The 49ers are fieried up full of diners,

drive-ins and half-backed dives as Matt Wonder, Brenna and backup Raheem Dijon mostard were not hot dogging it. George Grinnell delivered pancakes playing exceptionally well while Jimmy G was scrambling and this one was over easy. The Rams offense looks to have a bad case of Broncoitis dealing with congestion and a serious goth made worse by the chain-smoking diners who said, Carlisa Katpozer tells Sean McFay to bend over,

better watcha for Nick Posa, we believe in Robbie Golder. 49ers 20, ramp seven. 160 pilot whales and dolphins slaughtered in the Faroe Islands. This time of year, along the bays of the Faroe Islands, the water runs red. The annual Whale and Dolphin Hunt takes place between June and September in a tradition that's been going on since the 16th century,

possibly even earlier. Red skin 17, Dolphin 16. Dolphin red. Down to Florida where Ted Kennedy bridge over troubled water has kept this upside down, Saints season afloat, Minshew Mania has swept the country but on Sunday it was more like Gardner Minpoo as the Jaguars quarterback lived up to his name

as the deuce in his family tree. Jared Oaky Cook carried the entire Saints offensive load as he was the only one to score and Michael Thomas, the take engine ran train on the Jaguars defense and the Saints go marching in Duval, Saints 13, Jaguar 6. We go out to the desert as Kyler Rock You Like a Murray came said here I am and through for 27 completions, several of which traveled over three yards downfield.

Michelangelo's David Johnson was statue-esque and like his five foot 10 quarterback, a grower, not a shower. Dan, all I do is quit, quit, quit, no matter what, send his field goal team out to tie the game with a game extra point and everybody in the Red Seas hands went up and they stayed there except for the referees. Their hands were making the no good sign.

Our thoughts and prayers are with Matt Criott at this time. At least you aren't in danger of losing any playoff games this year, Carlos 34, Falco 33. In New York where Jerry Jones celebrated his birthday with a glory hole, only this glory hole had Greg Williams on the other side with a million dollar bounty on Jerry's dacking balls. The New York spleen machine was back in action,

connecting with Rob Kardashian Anderson on a fat 92 yard touchdown, making the Dallas defense look like the black sheep of the Jones family. The only thing to die this Sunday was the Cowboys playoff hopes as the Jets get on the windboard, 24, Cowboys 22. Since the Natitude is back as we go to the Queen's City where the Bengals had by far their most impressive loss of the season against the Baltimore Revents.

Andy Kaufman Dalton has been doing a bit all along showing up to games in character as Trick Dofer and waiting for someone, anyone to notice. John, are you going to Harbor O'Fair? Packed all his spices as the ginger minutes ran out of time. Lamar Jack Sun also rises, had his himming way with a Bengal secondary and was deadly from the shotgun formation.

Offensive coordinator, Greg Roman Swipes has lasted forever in the NFL and turns the goal line offense to Mark. Is it in Grim yet? Maybe just a temp just to see how it feels and it feels like a touchdown. Baltimore 23, Cincinnati 17. Standing on a corner, Jamie Swinton temple boarder

search the blind side to see. It's a pick, my lord, and here you go for more. Get to go practicing without INT. Holy shit, dude, so many picks proved. They missed with both, they missed. Bucks are real screwed. Panthers 37, Bucks 26. All right, week six, almost in the books.

We are watching, we're taping this live as duck has taken the country by storm. The Steelers are in San Diego. They should be in San Diego beating the Chargers. Looks like they're going to outright win. And we have a recap of all of weeks, week six. PFT is in an undisclosed location, maybe his childhood bedroom in Vancouver.

I don't know what's going on there. Did I grow up in Canada? This is actually one of BizNasty's nice recommendations. He's given us so many great tips of place to go. And one of them was a house that just has cars plastered all over the kids' bedrooms that I'm staying in. So no, I'm up in Vancouver right now.

It's Canadian Thanksgiving. So happy Thanksgiving to you guys. Eat some turkey. You don't have any corticopias on the TV scorebugs, though, for the NFL game. So that's very disappointing. Yeah, that is disappointing. All right, let's get into week six.

We're going to recap every game. And we'll start with the London game. And, well, let's start here. The 2015 quarterback class had a very bad day. We'll get to Marcus Mariota later. But this was, in my mind, the quintessential James Winston performance. He is the funniest quarterback I have ever watched

in my entire life when it comes to physical comedy. His body makes no sense. He flails everywhere. He had five interceptions. Fumbled on back-to-back plays, lost one of them. He started the game first play pick, ended the game last play pick. I love James so much.

I can't wait for him to be a backup quarterback, but it's over in Tampa for him. I agree. Yeah, I think he's unsolvable. And you're right. He is very, very funny. There are times when he gets in the pocket and he just, he forgets that he's playing football.

He just, like, he'll scramble out. He'll elude somebody that's trying to sack him. And he'll just, like, stand still and then start backing up. Like he's doing the electric slide in the pocket directly into a defensive end. He's very, very funny to watch. I think that James needs glasses.

I think that's what the issue is here. There was a story back in 2013 when he was at Florida State that he should wear contact lenses, which is why he squints. I saw you tweet out the picture of him squinting like he's looking into the sun, but he doesn't like wearing contact lenses.

I think it's time for James just to wear, just bite the bullet. Just give it a shot, man. That's even funnier, the fact that he doesn't like wearing contact lenses, but he needs them. And therefore just throws it to the wrong team. I, I'm so, so excited though, PFT, for James the backup, because James the backup,

just seeing him on the sideline is going to be great. And I hope he goes to like a funny team. I hope he has a funny jersey, but like, could you imagine if James is, is Russ Wilson's backup in Seattle or something ridiculous like that? And you know that he'll get in at some point, at some point in the rest of his career,

he'll get to play a little football and he'll do a thing where he'll be good for a quarter or two and everyone will say, well, that's why this guy was the first pick of the draft. And then he'll revert back to James Winston, like he did this season, like he did this game and all the physical comedy will come out. And I saw the press conference after Bruce Arians

is just a disappointed, frustrated stepfather. He's like, I don't, I don't know what to do. We talked about it. Maybe just throw it away, but James can't. He, he, he thinks that no matter how much pressure, no matter how many people are flailing it, it's at the ball, no matter how small his hands are, he can solve any bad situation he's put himself in.

That's not an Uber joke or a public's joke, but he never can solve it because he always just throws an interception. Yeah, that's, that's his solution. That's the cause of and solution to all of life's problems as Homer Simpson would put it. And he is, he's so funny. He, I think James could be tricked

by most things that Wiley Coyote gets tricked by. So like if a defense just like painted a tunnel on a wall, I'm pretty sure that James would just like, try to spread through it to go back to the locker room. It's, it's funny. I think that they're probably, they don't have a better option at quarterback. So even though he's, he's done in the longterm in Tampa,

and it'll probably go to Chicago next year, which will be fun. He's still going to, we're going to get to see him play for the rest of the season, I think. Yeah, James definitely strikes me as a guy, like if you just put a ball on in the middle of the street, he'll go grab it and then a big piano will fall on his head. And he'll, and he won't die.

They'll just look like an accordion. Like his body will just be an accordion going back and forth, up and down. All right. We should talk about the Panthers though, cause they were awesome. And Kyle Allen is Kyler Allen. Kyler Allen is five and O as a starter.

He's has yet to throw an interception. He is also, I've, I've been tracking this. My favorite thing the coaches do, whenever there is an imminent, you can smell the whiff of a quarterback controversy. What the, what the coaches have to do in the language they have to use to try to dispel that, even though Kyle Allen has played so well

that it's legitimate to say this team, he, he hasn't lost. So Ron Rivera said, our QB that is playing for us is Kyle. That's a fact. That's fact. Stick to the facts. That's, that's all you can do. If you're a coach in that situation, you just have to name facts.

Like we played today in London and Kyle was our quarterback today and he'll continue to be our quarterback as long as he is our quarterback. But they, they kind of have to have it come to Jesus moment pretty soon here. It's like when Cam gets back, he is, who knows if it, like how much is his physical health right now, how much is mental if he's,

if he's still gonna be the guy in Carolina next year. It's kind of a similar situation to what's going on in New Orleans right now, where Teddy has played really well while Drew's been out hurt. The only difference being like Drew was still playing well before he got injured, but do you ride the hot hand? And if so, like how long, I think if you're still like,

if you're in playoff contention, that's, that's how you can cover your ass as a head coach. Just say like, as long as we're in playoff contention, we're going to keep our guy in there. Well, and we're not saying that Kyle Allen's a better quarterback than Cam Newton cause he's not, but the problem is Cam Newton hasn't been a hundred percent healthy in what feels like forever.

And if he comes back, will he be a hundred percent healthy? Or will he be like, oh, he's a hundred percent healthy, but it's clear that there's still a shoulder issue. Because if that's the case, then Kyle Allen may be a better quarterback than him. The other thing from this game, and I don't know if you've seen this on Twitter, PFT, but we have a nickname for Christian McCaffrey and it's the greatest nickname of all time.

I didn't see it. I was, I was dozing in and out of this game because out here on the West coast, it started at like six o'clock in the morning. It was tough. It was really tough for me. Okay. So the nickname is, and I don't know who created it. So credit to whoever that is. We're not saying that we created this, but the nickname is Dairy Sanders.

Dairy, as in D-A-R-Y. As in D-A-I-R-Y Sanders, as in the milk. I like it. Yes. I like it. That's, that's really good. Yes. That's perfect. I saw a stat line though. He had 22 carries for 31 yards. That's a long day. Well, in the Bucks defense is their, their, their, uh, run defense is actually one of the best in the NFL.

So credit to them, but James basically, it's hard to, it's hard in a game when there's 22 guys on a field to say someone single-handedly lost you the game, but James 100% single-handedly lost them the game today. Yes. Without a doubt. Well, he used both hands. He fumbled around in both hands. Well, two of James's hands equals one regular grown man's hand. Correct. Yeah. How about this?

Uh, that's a good nickname for Christian McCaffrey. What about for James Winston, James, Winston, James, that works, that works. He needs to get, I would like to see him wear rex specs. Could you imagine the physical comedy with that? It would be perfect. Yeah. I, oh my God, that would be amazing. Looking like horse grant, like a fat horse grant. Yes. Exactly. Like James at this point is,

if you're going to be as bad as James is, and we all know it's bad, it's been, it's been enough years to know James isn't like, uh, uh, as Steven Chey, Bucks fan says, a confetti quarterback, a quarterback you can close your eyes and see confetti coming down on his head. Uh, he, that's a, that's a real thing. Shout out to Steven Chey. No one says that. Yeah. Steven Chey says that. But if you can't, James Winston is not a confetti quarterback.

So because he's not a confetti quarterback, he might as well, just become the funniest quarterback we've ever had. And I hope that happens. All right. Next up, we have Seahawks Browns. What, what do you think it was like to be a Browns fan in that first quarter when they were up 20 to six and everything was rolling and the season was saved because the drunkest, the, the drunkest Browns fans, and there were a lot of drunk Browns fans. I think one got ejected because he threw something on the field and a hit

a security guard in the face, making him bleed. But that must have, that I think the first quarter of this game when they're up 20 to six was probably the pinnacle of the Browns in the last 15 years. Yeah. Well, if you're a Browns fan at the start of this game and you just get hammered, there's good news. And a couple of you guys on Cleveland are going to wake up tomorrow and not knowing that you lost because the last memory that you have is just like beating the shit out of the Seahawks. Then you black out, get escorted out of a game on, on swagger's last day,

no less leading the team out of the, out of the tunnel there. So yeah, there are going to be several people that just, they don't know what happened in the other three quarters with Freddie kitchens leading the league and just looking perplexed all the time and calling bizarre play calls on, on fourth and goal, third and goal, second and goal. I, it's, it's a weird situation with Freddie. And I think that he is, he's ultimately the root of all the problems that are going on out there in Cleveland.

Yeah. It's a, it's name a less iconic duo, Freddie kitchens and red zone offense. Every single time they get down into the red zone, it feels like he becomes an Atlanta Falcon out of nowhere. They even had that, that sequence where he challenged, he challenged a touchdown, which probably should have been a touchdown at the very last second while they were running while, while Chubb was running for a touchdown. So he basically cucked his own team out of a touchdown. Then after the play was stopped and they, and they lost the challenge, he then ran the exact same play that the Seahawks were then ready

for. And it was like, what the fuck are you doing? Freddie kitchens. And that is, that seems to be like the Freddie kitchens doesn't know how it seems like he's in over his head almost every single week. And I, Baker obviously hasn't been good. He got hurt today. He has 11 interceptions in six weeks. He has not been good. As we said last Tuesday, we as Baker guys are the first to say the Baker points the finger at him's head himself and knows he's got to get better. So we'll just say that again. But yeah, the Browns, I feel bad for Browns fans because man, it's just, it's just hard to watch them get

so excited and beat up in the first quarter and have everyone rocking and then have Russell Wilson just do what Russell Wilson does. And that's just be one of the best quarterbacks in the league and rip people's guts out. I do want to say the end zones looked awesome and Cleveland today. I'm a big fan of, of the paint job that they have going there and the neon Browns were definitely popping. But Freddie kitchens, like when he's, he is very committed to holding that play sheet over his lips so that nobody can possibly steal his play calls as if anybody out there is trying to steal Freddie kitchens play

calls from him. Like his, what's he going to do? Probably run the ball four more times for the two yard line. Actually, you know what? He was probably just trolling Pete Carroll being like, Hey man, it's possible to run the ball from the two if you want to, if you want to score a touchdown. Maybe he's just advanced. He's making advanced jokes that nobody else gets. But just like look at him. He's got the body type of a ghost from Pac man. He doesn't inspire any confidence at all as a fan watching and being like that guy has his shit together. Right. That guy is going to put us in this good spot and a, and a

chance to win this game. Um, the Seahawks though are awesome. The Seahawks are very, very good. There feels like they're rounding into form. Their run game is awesome. I don't know. I mean, the NFC West will get to the Rams, uh, 49ers, but it's going to be a fun race to watch the Seahawks and what seems like the 49ers now, which I will, I'll eat a lot of crow when we get to that game. But the Seahawks with Russ Wilson and I know we're going to do the whole narrative again, like does Russell Wilson get enough credit? Yes, he does. He's one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL. He's a top five, top three. However you want to

rank him, he is one of the best quarterbacks. And if you give him even like a little bit of daylight, he will come back on your team and he will rip your guts out. Like I said, yeah, it also shout out to Luke Wilson. The team really turned a corner. I think when they brought him on, uh, and now I think will disley, he got injured today, unfortunately, but I think Luke's going to be stepping up over there. So we have, we have that to look forward to the Seahawks move forward. And there is something very cool about Seahawks 49ers games at night under the lights. I hope that we get one of those this year. I

don't know what the schedule makers done or if they're, uh, if they're going to be able to flex that into a Sunday night game. But, um, I love it when those two teams are good. It's great to have a West coast rivalry. Next up, speaking of the game that you just said, Hank Texans chiefs, I am ready to say the Houston Texans are for real. They're for real. Okay. Yeah. That's it. I don't know how you can make the argument that they're not. I wanted to see them win some games that on the road, tough gate, like to Sean Watson through a couple of picks, but he made a bunch of plays with his feet and the offensive line protected him and

the Texans defense made enough plays. And I just, those are the type of games like when the Texans look good, they look great. And I just feels like a mirage in years past because they've had these spurts where they've looked really, really good, but then they'll play a tough game and they don't have that. I don't know what it is. They're not like a tough team. This, this road win in Arrowhead, and you can say a lot about Patrick Mahomes offensive line right now, but this I am officially saying I respect the Houston Texans and I think they are very good. You've earned big cash respect. That's huge. That's like, that's the football

equivalent of pinstripes he just gave you. So I think what we saw is the blue print is out there of Patrick Mahomes and the best way to have Patrick Mahomes not beat you is to keep him off the field. It's, it's pretty easy math. I'm going to walk you through it real quick. So they held the chiefs to 20 minutes of possession total in this game, which is crazy, which you would think would be an asset for Andy Reed having, having a less clock to mismanage, but Patrick Mahomes best asset is scoring and it's tough to score when he is not playing. So the blue prints out there on Patrick Mahomes, just get the ball out of his hands and you

can beat the shit out of him. That, and I would say a big key to beating Patrick Mahomes is making sure that his very good left tackle is not in, not playing and his offensive line is beat up and he's running for his life. And I'll, I'll say it for chiefs fans. I think the refs didn't do a great job. Now I'm here to tell you that Travis Kelsey should stop wearing yellow gloves because it makes everything very, very confusing, but I will also acknowledge the refs missed a few things. However, the chiefs have a lot to get. Like the chiefs are now the Texans to me. They are the soft team that you can run on them. I mean, two weeks in a row now they've gotten

just absolutely gashed in the run game and Patrick Mahomes as good as he is, is taking a slight step back from last year. He's not out of this world, 50 touchdowns good, which I think we all kind of expected. He's still probably the best quarterback in the league right now, but if he's not out of this world good and their defense is still pretty bad, it's going to be tough to win as many games. Like it's just a simple kind of math equation here. Tyree kill coming back was awesome for him, but they, they're, yeah, I said it. I'm going to say it again. I did say it last week that the S S word, I'll say it. They're soft. So yeah, they're soft. I that's, that's the worst thing they say about their defense.

So it's a torch update. You're saying that the chiefs are the new Texans, which makes sense because they have already picked up the mantle of losing to the Patriots and the playoffs. So I think they're like halfway there already. The chiefs get to play the Broncos next weekend though in the altitude outdoors. So we do have to ask, did roofs break Patrick Mahomes because he hasn't played well since seeing a roof for the first time. He's an outdoor cat and he went indoors. Now his whole world screwed up. You want to hear the most Bill O'Brien motivational tactic of all time? Yes. All right. So leading into this week, you know, a lot of, a lot of coaches play music at practice on big speakers. Bill

O'Brien was playing Rocky theme song, Rocky theme song. So he's playing I have the tiger and you know, like all that stuff, which is the ultimate like dad football coach move because I doubt Bill O'Brien realizes this, but the Rocky, the first Rocky movie came out closer to the signing of the Franklin Delano Roosevelt new deal than it did to today's game. That's how old that movie is. And none of his players like know anything about it, except for like the new movies. But yeah, I guess Bill O'Brien, it worked. Did you steal that time tweet from Revell? Cause that sounded like it was a Revell tweet. No, no, that was right from the top of my head. Here we go. Who, who, who doesn't remember the FDR new deal?

What was the old deal? Well, the old deal was shit sucks. Yeah. The old deal was your fuck. Yeah. We're in a great depression. But if Darren Revell had done it, he would have told me the modern day value of FDR's wheelchair. Yeah. The old deal was eat dust for dinner and you'll like it. Uh, okay. So yeah, I'm saying it, the chiefs are my soft team. Look, I'm not saying the offense is soft. The offense is still incredible. Their defense has been gashed and they get gashed whenever a team plays physical football and wants to run the ball, they can do it. So I'm sorry until they fix that, they're soft. It sounds like you're saying that they're candy asses. That's what it sounds like to me. Like,

are they a candy ass football team? No, they're not candy ass. They're just soft when you can. Andy Reed would love that. When you can, when you can, uh, just go into a team's home environment, which is intimidating and arrowhead and chiefs fans are diehards and awesome. But when you can go in there and run the ball like the, like the chiefs did, or sorry, like the Colts did and like the Texans did, you get the soft, you get the soft tag for me. Sorry. Sorry, not sorry. PFT. Yes. Next up, we have the twoable, the twoable Redskins Dolphins. This game, now we're going to say something nice about the dolphins, but I just want to point out, uh, I don't know if you had red zone where you were, but this game, it took 35 real time minutes, real time minutes

for them to show this game on red zone. That's how bad the game was. Now it got good late because Ryan Fitzpatrick came in, but I will say this nice, say something nice about the dolphins. I'm pretty sure that Kenyon Drake, uh, dropped the ball on purpose in the, in the two point conversion to make sure they lost that game so that they can continue to tank for two. Uh, I'll, I'll say this. They did a great, great job of pretending not to tank by going for two, but then slipping in the worst play call of all time. So it was actually like a masterful job of taking done by them. Also shout out to Sean Downey, because I did get red zone up here on like Canadian version of ESPN or Canadian version of whatever the service that I think is like

Dizzone or whatever the place of chance is at right now. Uh, uh, but yeah, so I was able to watch all the games. I had that same tweet ready to go out when I saw what time it was that they broke in and then I refreshed Twitter. I was like, Oh, big catches did it. That would have been very embarrassing for me, uh, to do that. But yeah, it was, it was not as bad as I thought it would be once Ryan Fitzpatrick got in. And I think Fitz magic is back a little, he's probably going to get him to win a couple of games. Well, it's classic dolphins. They don't know what they're doing with their quarterback where it's like they're tanking, but they're not tanking, but they want to see if Josh Rosen has something, but they also then pull them. He gets sacked a million times.

Ryan Fitzpatrick comes in almost wins them the game, which would screw up the tank. Josh Rosen did have a Josh Rosen stat line. He was 15 for 25, 85 yards and two interceptions. I don't know how you throw. I don't know how you get 15 completions for 85 yards, but he did it. Another nice thing about him, you covered the spread for the first time this year as an underdog against a winless team at home. And you, so good job. And you kept the team under 30 points. So that's cool. That's very cool. Yeah. You didn't, you didn't get, you didn't get blown out. You could have won if you wanted to, right? If you want to take it to overtime. I was actually just really hoping for a tie out of this game. That would have been so perfect if the red skins of the dolphins had ended up tying

and then you get into all this weird math when it comes time to figure out what the order of the draft is going to be. And it could have come down to a coin toss. Can you imagine that a coin toss to figure out where to is going to go? He might not go to the red skin still, but that would have been amazing. I mean, if the red skins were smart, which they're not, say something nice about the red skins, because we might as well do that while we're here. Uh, uh, Terry McLaren is very good. And I look forward to him, uh, suffering like a catastrophic injury that will derail his entire career because he's on the red skin. Scary Terry. Yeah. Very good. He's really good, but you know that they can't give me the, they can't have good things. So,

and then Adrian Peterson is back. Bill Cowell hand was like, Hey, we're going to just run old school football and they just ran Adrian Peterson a bunch and he looked awesome. And now he can get make like a couple more million dollars and cut his debt down to 25 million or whatever it is. Callahan in his press conference this week was so ridiculous talking about his like the most rudimentary understanding of stats and cause and effect of all time being like, we're just going to run the ball more. And if we run the ball more, then that means that we're going to win. It's a great interim head coach thing to say. Uh, and the red skins very smartly announced today that they were not going to even begin looking for a new head coach until after

the season's over when everybody else is also looking for a head coach. So that's smart. That's good. Well, fortunately for you red skins, Rex Ryan said on get up that he would be the next head coach if you want him to be, he said he'd take that job. So as I've just resigned myself to the fact that I might as well just root for the most entertaining possible hire and, and Rex Ryan, I think would probably be, he'd also probably have a pretty good chance. If you had Rex Ryan and Dan Snyder in the same building, they'll fight each other at some point. Rex just kick his ass, which is great. So why don't we, here's, here's the plan for your red skins. Just have Dan Snyder hire Rex Ryan and Tom Cable and just spend a lot of time in the same room together

until Dan Snyder just gets asked. I mean, Rex Ryan probably will get the job because he wants the job and no one else wants it. So they'll do a search and they'll be like, what was that guy on get up who wanted the job greeny? No, no, no, Rex Ryan, they might hire greeny by accident. That's how stupid they are. So yeah, say something nice about the dolphins and the red skins. The Redskins won a game and the dolphins lost a game. That was really nice for both teams. It looked like it was great weather down there too. Yeah. Okay. Barstool gold. Check it out. Barstoolgold.com slash PMT. If you want to get our bonus episodes, if you want to watch our episodes, do it. Barstoolgold.com slash PMT Eagles Vikings, Kirk cousins, you,

mother Freaker, not to quote Phil Rivers, but you mother Freaker, you've done it again. Kirk cousins, unbelievable. What he did against a really bad Eagles secondary, a depleted Eagles secondary in the one o'clock hour against a team that was technically above 500 when they played. You just bought yourself a new contract for touchdowns, 333 yards. You hooked up with Stefan Diggs. You hooked up with Adam feeling. You made everyone feel good. And there are definitely some people in Minnesota right now who against all their good judgment are like, maybe, maybe. That was kind of cool. Maybe. And that's, that's the perfect Kirk cousins. He teases you a little bit. So yeah, give him another contract. You always have to at this point, like give him two

more years, just a little extension, show some faith in him. And you could tell during this game that Mike Zimmer was like secretly not happy that Kirk cousins was playing. So Mike Zimmer's just always like, give me a reason to bench you. Give me a reason. I would love to bench you. And Kirk cousins just did his thing that he does. And I'm sure who do they play next week? I don't know. I mean, he looks like he's going to be on a two or three week roll. I think I looked at it a while ago. He has a, he has a big prime time game against the Cowboys in a few weeks. The Lions and then the Redskins. Yes. So as long as he doesn't have to go on prime time, he's going to win a couple more games and everyone's going to say Kirk cousins and

Redskins ones in prime time though, Thursday night, the tragedy of this Vikings team is the rest of the roster is really, really good. And their defense is really good. And they have weapons. Yeah. And Kirk cousins will do this when the pressure's off and no one expects it. And then the minute they have to play a prime time game, he will give an awful pump up speech. He will get the entire team to lack all confidence that they had leading up to it. And then he will piss down his leg and fall flat on his face. And we'll all be like, damn, I cannot believe we ever believed in Kirk cousins. Kirk cousins is the king of saying shit that he shouldn't be smiling while he says while he's smiling. So like in a post game press conference, after he's just

thrown like four picks, he'll be like, you know, I really got to play better. And he's got this big toothy grin as he says it, because he knows he's fucking nailing the quote that he's supposed to say. And he gets so excited about like saying the right thing as a quarterback. He's very exasperating to root for. He's going to probably get his ass kicked by the lions, but then the revenge game against the Redskins is going to be something to behold. So he'll probably throw for like six touchdowns against them. And then was it, you said a prime time game, maybe? Yeah, he's playing the Patriots. No, they're playing the Cowboys in a few weeks, I think in prime. Oh, yeah, he'll, he'll get his ass kicked in prime time. Yeah. So he'll have a classic like four

interception game in that one too. But yeah, the greatest trick Kirk cousins ever pulled on the world is allowing people to believe that he sucked. Yeah. Because sometimes he doesn't. And then Doug Peterson, this was a classic bad Doug Peterson game where you live with the good, because the good can get you a super bowl and he's one of the most aggressive coaches in the NFL. And then you live with the bad when he fakes punts and runs screens that he's run a few times in the game before and he goes for it on fourth down when he shouldn't. But you, I actually have no problem with it. Like if Doug Peterson goes for it on fourth down, every fourth down, that's fine, because at least you know what to expect. And it's going to work half the time. And then sometimes

you get games like today where it really wasn't even his fault because their defense was so, so bad, but he didn't help them in any way by being a little aggressive in spots when it, it, it failed. I also want to flag this real quick. Mike Zimmer is having an all time red face coach season. It's up there like Tom Coughlin, Mike Shanahan levels at this point. He wears those tactical glasses. So he's got like a very angular noticeable suntan on his face. And like 90% of his face is just beat red. Like he replaced the windshield with just a giant magnifying glass in his car. And he's just driving around getting sunburned all the time. It's really a sight to behold. The other thing I wanted to bring up here, obviously the Eagles secondary is not good. They need a lot of help.

They want Jalen Ramsey, right? If you're the Eagles, would you trade a first round pick to get Jalen Ramsey? But you also have to take Nick Foles. Yeah, I like two first round picks. I guess. And I think they want Nick Foles, although Carson Wands is playing well in none of this. Like he was good today. And while he threw a bunch of, he threw a few interceptions, I think, I think he had three interceptions, but I still don't, like when your defense plays that bad, it's kind of hard to blame anything on the quarterback because the quarterback has to press so much to try to keep you in it. But yeah, I do that. Just get Nick Foles because Carson Wands, he hasn't made it through a full season. So why not?

Give it a shot. But I would, if I were the Eagles, I would trade for Jalen Ramsey just because he's the type of guy that can make everything better just by him being able to lock down one guy. And then now you don't have these guys getting picked on just, I mean, I think it was the second quarter when the Vikings just were like, we're just going to pick on their secondary and just, they had plays that guys were wide open, the digs was wide open. I think he had two 50, 50 yard plus touchdowns, which doesn't happen in the NFL all that often. And it looked like a college game broke out. So yeah, I'd do it. I would do it. This is classic Philadelphia sports fan too, because they're, they're one city that when they get linked to a player, they talk about

that player as if he's already on the right Philadelphia Eagles fans right now are talking more about Jalen Ramsey and the impact that he will have on their next game. If he's their quarterback, then the guys that are still on the team right now, right? And if, if they don't get them, then they'll send like a bunch of hate mail to his house and call him an asshole in a scumbag because he didn't get traded to the Eagles, which he has no control over. You quit on us. Yeah. Before you joined, you didn't want to win a championship. You didn't want to go down Broad Street. Come on, bro. We don't want you. If you don't want, if you don't have heart, you don't have a heart in that chest. By the way, with the Eagles and the Cowboys losing,

which we will get to the Cowboys in a minute, the Giants are only one game out of the first place. That's that division. Yeah. That's, did you imagine Danny Dimes getting them to a playoff and then maybe getting hurt and having Eli come in? That's please God. That's my, that's my dream. That is my dream situation. Please God. Talk to teams in the next nightmare. Talk to teams in the AFC or in the AFC. We were talking, we were talking about the NFC though. Oh, well, just a fun. Yeah. We, that was a, that was a classic do your pod shoehorn in there. We're talking about bad division. We're talking about the Giants. We're talking about the worst division. So I figured as a, as a little nugget to that conversation, I would add what the best

division was and it just happened to be the AFC East, but that was a coincidence. Okay. That's, they both have the word East in them. Yeah. But so what if Eli gets in and he leads the Giants to the Super Bowl against the Patriots? Are you worried about that? That would be very concerning. That would trigger you. You said that the uniforms triggered you on Thursday night. Uh, before we get those gray pants with Kevin, like all I see when I see those Giants gray pants is just Kevin Booth's fat ass just running across my screen before we get to the next game for any of your tailgates, Sunday football, barbecue, happy hour, engagement party, wedding, camping, bonfire, adult softball league, family gathering, office party, date night,

bachelor party, bachelor party, fishing, purchasing a new home, birthday graduation, or simply because it's Friday needs. Look no further than Bud Light. And for any of your business or personal printing needs, look no further than Minuteman Press. Yes. That's correct. Rather than spending an entire ad reminding you that it's beers is crisp and great for every occasion. Bud Light is giving the other half of its ad reads to small businesses, but no free ads. The read must include the words crisp and Bud Light. This week's winner is Minuteman Press. Minuteman specializes in business cards, corporate branding, brochures, and much more. Enjoy a cold Bud Light and relax while Minuteman prints your paper crisp and hot off the press.

Even Rick Petino will say Minuteman Press in New Rochelle gets your job done fast. I like that little ad for a chance to have your small business featured simply tweet or DM at Bud Light and add for your business. But remember your script must include the word crisp and Bud Light. Okay. Next up, the Pope game. If you did not bet on the saints on Sunday, you don't believe in a higher power, which I actually don't believe in, but I do believe in when I talk to gambling. It's kind of the hypocrisy of my own brain. But the Pope, Pope Francis, the Pope tweeted before the Sunday slate kicked off. Today we give thanks to the Lord for our new saints. They walked by faith and now we invoke their intercession, but he hashtag saints and the little logo for the saints

popped up on Twitter because that's how it works. And then everyone in the world was like, we have to bet the saints. And the Pope is officially one and O in his mortal locks that he's given out on Twitter. Immortal locks for the Pope is where it should be. Yeah. So if you would think that if the Pope or God was a saints fan, you probably would have told them like, hey, maybe don't draft Reggie Bush like something more material than just a tweet, because besides this, I see no evidence of God rooting for the saints at any point over the entire history of their franchise. Besides, like maybe the Steve Gleason punt in the super in the outside kick and the outside kick and the outside kick. Okay. So there are

there are a couple instances, but, but overall, I don't know. Well, if I recall my Westboro Baptist church sign, I think God hates Jags. Yes. And if he loves the saints, then it would stand to reason that they were just going to wipe the floor with them today. I did flip my pick at the last second. You had said on, I said on Friday show that I was going to, I was going against my own brain, because I was like, why on earth are the Jaguars one and a half point favor? It's, it's because I didn't know yet that God was going to be rooting for the saints. So there was a material change. Had to switch my pick at the last minute, but yeah, it was, it was great to see the Lord weighing in on things. And we also, in this game, Minshew Mania reached

fevered pitch. They gave out 35,000 mustaches to the crowd in Duvall, which I think is the whole stadium, but then Gardner Minshew proceeded to have his worst game as a starter. And now I still believe in garden Gardner Minshew, but this now makes it a little bit like his Nick foals coming back sooner than later. And we kind of were waiting for this rookie performance to happen where he didn't look like a seasoned vet. He didn't look like the guy who's been having these comeback wins and poised. And I don't hold it against them. I still think he's going to be in the league for a long time. This is though, right when Doug Morone's got to be like, okay, this is right when we need to like try to hurry up and get Nick foals back. So there isn't a

QB controversy because he had been playing so well and credit to the saints because the saints defense is for real. And I think they don't get enough like love because of Drew Brees and Michael Thomas and Alvin, Kamara and all that stuff. But the saints defense is for real. And Teddy Bridgewater has now kept them more than a float. They're fucking four and two. He's four and all as a starter. It's insane. No, they're, they fight. No, they're four. Is he four and two? Did Drew Brees not win a game? No, Drew Brees won a game. No, he won a, he won a weak one against the Texans. I'm wrong. I'm wrong. Yeah. Yeah. He won a game. Obviously Drew Brees is coming back and obviously he's going to be the quarterback,

but again, time and time again is like paying a backup quarterback who can keep your season alive when you have a really good team around you is worth it. And what we were saying on Friday, I think it's holds true. The saints have no pressure when Drew Brees gets hurt and it feels like all the pressure on this season has kind of evaporated and they can just go out there and be good. And the defense has been great and Teddy Bridgewater has been good, good, great, great. Like that's kind of the progression he's had. He's been adequate for a couple of games and now he's starting to really get a rhythm and win them football games. Yeah. Real quick. I know we don't talk a lot about college football on this show on Mondays, but I do want to talk about LSU

and stay in Louisiana for a second. We're going to get to our college football. I wrote down a whole college football segment because we have to get up to Georgia and all that shit. Okay. All right. We can do that. All right. So we'll talk about LSU. That actually is a good segue though because I wrote this down for Bengals Ravens is with Andy Dalton and Baker Mayfield and we will get to all of our college football, but is Justin Fields the best quarterback in Ohio? That's a good question. How about this? We could get this debate started. Could Ohio State beat the Bengals if the Bengals had to play every player at the bottom of the depth chart as the starters. So like the Bengals worst players start on both sides of the ball, Ohio State's best

player start. I think they could beat them. That's great. We should start doing that because the Bengals, the score is deceiving and it ended up being 2317. The Bengals stink. Ravens fans are getting very mad at me. Ravens fans sneaky are very annoying on Twitter. I'll say it. They're very annoying. You keep poking them. Well, every week you just poke them and you're like, Hey, Ravens fans, you guys are frauds. You're using the F word. Hold on. Hold on. Okay. So, so let me explain. I like Lamar Jackson. I think Lamar Jackson is a good quarterback. I think Lamar Jackson is a franchise quarterback that you can build around. I like John Harbaugh. I think he is a very, very good coach. I do not think the Ravens defense is good enough to compete in the AFC at

the top of the AFC. If you look at who the Ravens have played, they have beaten some really bad teams and then they lost to the good teams they played. I, in that, in my mind, I'm saying to myself, the Ravens are a decent team, but to expect them to do anything special this year is absolutely crazy because every time they have to play a good team, they don't look like the same team. They don't look good and they beat the Dolphins. That Dolphins week one game, that was like the best thing that could ever happen to the Ravens because people will be thinking about that game for the rest of the season and be like, man, remember when the Ravens put up a 50 burger on the Dolphins and Lamar Jackson looked incredible? And since that moment, they've played some bad

teams and not like killed them. They didn't kill the Cardinals. They didn't kill the Bengals. They got killed by the Browns. They barely beat the Steelers. So I'm sorry, Ravens fans, we can keep fighting. I just want, I expect more out of a very smart fan base to know when the team, you know, I just did that. No, I did that. You guys are very smart football fans. So I'd expect you to have a lot more logic when it comes to the reality of your team's limitations. That's ridiculous. I think that the Ravens are very good. I would never use the fraud word. Wait, very good. Yeah, I said the V word. Yes. God, you don't call a team or you don't call a team or fraud. You have to go through stages at some point. They're bums. And then once they start

being maliciously bums, they turn into frauds that we can't just like start throwing the F word out there for a playoff team because I just, I don't think that they're a fraudulent team. I think here's the thing about Lamar Jackson. I don't know what it is, but I feel like every week he's set some sort of record. I'm told about like a new record that Lamar sets every Sunday night. Okay, here it is. I'm looking at the schedule right now. This is as easy as it can be. Ravens fans, I will take off the F tag I've put on your team. If you win one of the two next games, you're going to at Seattle and then you're playing at home against New England. If you win one of those games, I will now take the Ravens for real and I will eliminate the fraud tag. So those are

personal, prove it games for me. You could prove it to me. I'm, I'm just saying the, the F word is the worst word that you can use in a sports talk radio environment. And you've been throwing it around willy-nilly on a team that frankly does not deserve it. I also want to draw a little bit of attention here to the fact that AJ Green just decided that he'd rather not play this year. So he's just kind of doing a whole season of Siebs where he's like, Hey, I want to still get paid, but I don't really want to play football. And if it were anywhere else, it'd be like a huge deal. But since it's Cincinnati, nobody really cares. But it is smart on his part. I just hope that a good team snatches them up eventually because he's fun to watch when he

is healthy. All right. And say something nice about the Bengals. Audentate is good. So you have something there, but Ravens, we're, we, we have everything. We just put everything on the table, right? We, we, we see eye to eye here. You have two games coming up that you can personally prove it to me because I know you want my love and I will give you my love if you win one of those two games. All you got to do is win one. All you got to do is one. I don't care how you win it. You can win it ugly. You can win it with a fluke. You can win it with the ref fucking up. I don't care. You beat the Seahawks in Seattle or you beat the Patriots at home and you are officially a contender in my eyes in the AFC. Okay. Do you get the official big cat

stamp of approval? Do we want to do a done change this week? Yeah. The Chargers Chargers are done. They're done. Did I done them last week and done? I didn't tell them last week. They're done. They're officially done. And that's not, listen, our guy duck is awesome. He's awesome. He, they were, they're also leaning into it. They did the DuckTales song coming out of break. It was awesome. They, I think Al Michael said duck seven billion times tonight, but you know what? It's a fun word to say. I could have heard seven billion more because I love Devlin Hodges. He is, and again, this is obviously because he listens to the show and that's the fastest way to our hearts. And Devlin,

when you hear this part, make sure that you tweet us again, but duck fucks. And I'm going to, I just was, I just laid it out for the Ravens. I said this to you PFT a few weeks ago. I think the Steelers are still going to win the AFC North. I don't think so. I don't think that's happening. I think that, that duck is great. And I want to see more of duck and I want him to be successful and duck. I know that you're listening to this right now. I just want to say, stop, don't let big cat make you think that he's a bigger duck guy than I am. Cause I'm also a big fan. I just wanted to say that out loud. I think Hank's a bit of a hater, but that's fine. We'll address that internally behind closed doors. You hate everybody

that we like. That's not true. The Steelers have in any way, shape, or form. The Steelers have three home games coming up. Dolphins win cults. They'll probably be favored after they beat the dolphins. Rams who look like a mess right now. You're telling me you'd be shocked if the Steelers are five and four going into a game against the Browns, a Sunday night game against the Browns in mid November. I mean, and then they, and then they, and then they finished the season. They have the Bengals and the Cardinals and the Jets down the stretch. I'm just saying this is enough hype around Lamar Jackson, enough hype around the Browns and the, and the Steelers losing their first and second string quarterback. They'll just go and fuck around and win this whole thing.

How crazy would it be if, if the stands started to do like at Steelers home games, do the mighty ducks, the quack, the ducks fly together, quack all in unison. That'd be amazing. Just something to think about. I'm working on duck fuck t-shirts over here, PFT. How many, how many t-shirts have you made for this guy? Well, one in my brain and it's duck and cover when you're betting on them. Don't have to. Easy Moneyline winners. Duck, duck season, rabbit season. Duck fucks. Let's just sell that. Duck Dynasty. People will wear the fuck on their shirt for sure. I'm going to find that. I'm going to find that line. I'm going to bet the Steelers to win the AFC North. I bet you it's nice right now. I should have done it last. I should have done it before

they just kicked the shit out of the chargers who are done. They're done. They're done. The chargers are done. I'm sorry. Anthony Lynn tonight kicked a field goal to go from a three score game to a three score game when they were down 24 nothing. I once a coach does that, which is actually ironic because Mike Tomlin started the season with that move. And I'm now saying the Steelers are back, but once a coach does that, I'm done with them. I just, I talked myself into a fucking corner right there. Fuck. No, it was, it was smart though. Like nobody remembers week one. That was like three years ago, but when, uh, if you're going to put the Dunchain on them, I'm going to put the Dunchain on the box. They're my Dunchain team. The week box are done. If you put a Dunchain on a

team that's still overseas, they probably can't even get back in. It's probably like an Interpol flag. No fly list. Okay. So we're not going to put the Dunchain on this team, but some people probably are in the national media. It was the 49ers of the Rams. The Rams have lost three straight now. The Rams were O and 13 on third and fourth down on Sunday. That's incredible. They were over four on fourth down, over nine on third down. I, I'm not going to actually spend this time and talk about how the Rams were terrible and the Rams are in trouble and Sean McVay is now got like the biggest test of his, uh, coaching, you know, career. I'm instead going to use this time to say, I believe in the 49ers now. I apologize to the 49ers. I picked against them

almost every single week. Their defense is very, very good. And George Kittle is the best tight end in the NFL. And I apologize again and again. I love Kyle Shanahan. So the 49ers, you, you get the seal of approval. They are very, very good. I agree. I was waiting to see, this was my, um, are we sure they're a good game for this week was the, to see if the 49ers could do it without juice check. And I think that juice check is a system fullback or at least he appears to be one because they were able to run the ball pretty well without them. Uh, you're right. George Kittle is awesome. Jimmy G is a quarterback. Uh, and Shanahan continues to do the thing where you just have no idea which running back he's going to give the goal on carries to and just

frustrates everybody. Yes. And, uh, speaking of which, what did, uh, George Kittle just, he's been talking shit because he knew that I picked against them. Oh, he, he sent me a video of the all 22 where he just dabbed at the end when they nailed down. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's incredible. Yeah. I mean, I'm, I, I always am nervous about the team because remember last year was the 49ers were the team that everyone was picking to be the breakout team. And then obviously Jimmy G got hurt and they had a disastrous year. And I'm always nervous about that team that has that. Ooh, everyone's picking the 49ers. Look at them. So I think I had that still in my brain, but their defense is so damn good. And shout out their defensive coordinator

who, I mean, he, he was the most amped up guy I've ever seen when they stopped them on fourth and goal. He, he's the nominee for football guy of the week, but yeah, the, the 49ers are free on the Rams. They play, uh, the Falcons and the Bengals next. So they'll at least win the next two games and everyone would be like, Ooh, are the Rams fixed? But I think, I think that's, I think the Rams are in that weird spot where they pushed all the chips in and their rosters thinner than, I mean, they realize it, but thinner than a lot of people realize it. So as soon as you get a couple of injuries, it's, it all kind of falls apart pretty quickly. Yeah. I'm curious to see after this game, uh, which LA Ram, Richard Sherman is going to lie about encountering on the field

somewhere. Cause it seems like Richard Sherman is, uh, kind of got called out for being a liar last week. Um, and I haven't heard any, I haven't heard him be cocky after this game yet. So I want him to get caught in another lie in the middle of the week, just to give us something to talk about. I'm like a Tuesday morning. So I don't know, maybe say, maybe say like Todd Gurley spat on you at the captain's handshake and then we'll go watch the video and be like, Oh yeah, Todd Gurley didn't even play today. So just do something and do me a favor, Richard Sherman. Just give me some content to work with. Yeah. Hey, say something about Blake Bortles so we can personally get offended and then spend all week fighting with you online.

Yeah, that'd be great for us. Just we're bored on Tuesdays. That's perfect. Is the action back this week? Uh, no, November sucks. I know. Um, all right. Falcons Cardinals, the Falcons defense is so fucking bad, man. I watched this entire game and shout out the NFL schedule for actually having a balanced schedule this week so that you could watch every single game. There were many times where they would show the like up a pass catcher, get the ball from Kyler Murray and there wasn't a single defender in the screen. Yeah. And it, that is the sign of a college football defense where you just, we call them college football plays where it looks like there just isn't a secondary out there. That's what the defense for the Falcons

looks like. They would just have moments where there wasn't a guy within 30 yards of David Johnson or Kyler Murray and Kyler Murray was awesome. And the Falcons, a quick update for you, PFT, Arthur blank. Remember last week we said he had optimism or no, he had full confidence in Dan Quinn, which means Dan Quinn's about to get fired before the game today. He said he wants to see progress over the next three weeks before week nine by or change could come safe to say today was not progress. That's not good. So yeah, I mean, that's basically saying your ass is fired. Yes. If an owner publicly says that it's a tough look for Dan Quinn, you're right. The defenses that they were running, the coverages that they were running, they were not only letting guys just

wide open without a player within 20 yards of them, but the guys that were letting wide open, it was like David Johnson. Yes. It's like, you should probably put a linebacker, at least anybody somewhere within 25 yards of David Johnson. And then they were having a lot of just like cross the field passes from Kyler Murray, which again, our college passes, those type of plays are drawn up to look like college on offense, not really expecting it to look like college on defense. But I got to I got to give credit to the Atlanta Falcons. You can never count them out in terms of they are incredibly innovative at figuring out ways to come back and lose games in most heartbreaking way possible. Yes. The mix that missed extra point when they

come all the way back in the second half was so, so Atlanta, Atlanta sports this entire week, just heartbreaking and the Falcons blow it up. It's too, it's just get them all out of my face. It's like the Clippers when I, when Blake Griffin read that tweet back to us, the Blake Griffin, Chris Paul, Deandre Jordan Clippers was like, enough is enough. We've seen enough, blow the whole thing up, fire Dan Quinn, never talk about another man's job, but fire Dan Quinn and start over. I don't know, Matt Ryan, how old is he? Keep Matt Ryan, but everything else, just bring it down to the fucking bolts and just build the backup. No, you got to, you got to bulldoze the entire operation because like you've got, if you have a ghost in the house or something

like that, you get rid of every single thing. You burn, you chip up the foundation, you ship it overseas into a dump somewhere in Albania. You don't let any part of this team still exist. Matt Ryan, he's got his, his just brain was broken. He's part of it. Like it or not, he's a talented quarterback, but he's part of the Atlanta Falcons. They're descent into madness and he might be the, the shiniest turd in the punch pole. I'm mixing up like nine different metaphors. He's, he's the most polished turd in the port of potty. There you go. But you still got to flush him. Boom. Hey, go ahead. Hey, go ahead. Say it. What? You know what you want to say. What? No, I don't. No, go ahead. Say it. Say that the, the Patriots ended the Atlanta Falcons. Yeah. I mean, that's

the old news where, I mean, the, the more recent one might be. What? Oh, you, oh, geez. Oh, god, damn it. All right. Nevermind. I shouldn't have, I shouldn't have let Hank speak. All right. That was a long ago. I forgot. Going from a game that had a ton of points, 67 points and Collin Murray running around and being awesome. Titans Broncos, this game real quick. I would, I would like to point out to Hank that you can in fact flush a port of potty and certain more luxurious models of them. That's true. Just go to show you that you've been, you've been pissing at some poor people. Port of potty. You get the luxury models, bro. Like if, if you ever go to three port of bodies, you ever go to a wedding and they rent the big like, it's basically a trailer

that's a whole bathroom. Hank's been peeing in bottom of the barrel. Port of potty is gross. Gross. Okay. So from a game that had 67 points to a game that had more punts than points, more punts than points in the Titans Broncos. They had 17 punts, 16 points. Where to God, 17 punts, 17 punts, 16 points. Where is that? PFT. Is that you? It's yeah. Somebody's cooking dinner and so cooking dinner. Yeah. Yeah. Dinner. Yeah. What? Oh yeah. Someone's cooking dinner. Yeah. They, yeah. They're cooking, they're cooking mess. Yeah. And that's what that noise is. It's a smoke detector. Okay. We fixed the fire alarm PFT. Just put out the fire. Thank you PFT for your service.

It was all the hard factor guys, insulin meter. Yeah. Let's talk, let's talk about the Titans and the Broncos. As I said, more punts than points. And this is the other end of the 2015 draft class. Marcus Mariota, it's a wrap. It's a wrap. It's over. You forget about Trevor Simeon, bro. Trevor Simeon is still kicking. But yeah, I think this actually means this is good for James Winston, right? Because he officially outlasted Marcus Mariota. He might get benched next week, but he beat him by at least a half in the long run. So good for him. Yeah. So it's, I don't even know what the Titans are going to do now because it's Ryan Tannehill and then we're going to do the whole, is Ryan Tannehill the guy? No, but maybe, and then he'll

get hurt right when he plays well. The Titans, I don't even want to talk about the Titans anymore because they kind of bum me out. They're just kind of a bummer of a team. And I love Mike Vrabel, but the Titans in as a whole are just a bummer. Like they don't do anything. They can't run. They can't pass. They can't pass, protect. They play a little bit of defense and then they bum you out. So instead, let me ask you this PFT, the Broncos are playing the chiefs at mile high on Thursday. If the Broncos win that game, does John L way say to himself, we're all in. We're probably going to go back to the Super Bowl. I think he definitely convinces himself that they're going to ride Joe Flacco. Yeah. I think he convinces himself that he's put together a Super Bowl

winning caliber roster at that point because he'll give the speech where he's like, if you can beat these guys, you can beat any boys. We just got done beating the best team in the NFL is what it'll say about the chiefs if they win that game. I'm hoping for it. I do want to talk a little bit about the Titans because actually both of these teams, the Titans and the Broncos, these two offenses bring up my favorite NFL word and that's anemic. You never hear the word anemic unless you're talking about a football team that scores zero to 16 points a game and that is these two teams to a tee. I think it actually means that you're like iron deficient. You don't have enough iron in your blood or something like that, but it's the only big word that most football guys know.

Uh, they are both bummers to watch, but I think the Broncos defense is not, it's not great, but it's pretty good. And they finally realized that maybe they're very talented running back from last year is still talented. Yes. Yes. And I, I would say that the Broncos have the ability to maybe be with Vic Fangio, maybe be a better than good. So borderline great defense and they have like a bunch of those guys where we do that thing where as long as Vaughn Miller's there, you're going to say, well, that's the Super Bowl defense, even though pretty much everyone else is different, but that's fine because that's what we do as fans and we do as dumb football fans. But yeah, the, I just looking at the offensive stats in this game, it was a train wreck. It was a

train wreck. The Ryan Tanehills QBR was 7.9. Marcus Mariotas was 9.9. Neither of them broke 10. How is that possible? It's, it's, it's just a, it like bums you out. And I love bad football, but there's something that you can laugh at bad football in college because I don't know. There's just a lot of different variables and there's something beautiful about bad football on early Saturday morning. Bad football, truly bad football on a Sunday feels like they're stealing from us because we only have so many games and there's only only, there's only this little time window that you have. And whenever they try out a team like this, the Titans, it just bums you out and it robs you of fun. And I hate that when that happens when you're trying to watch football.

They rob fun. They steal fun from people. We're getting cheated for sure. And Vrable looks so mad at his own team. He looks like, he's the kind of guy that he's used to being around, you know, winning championships. And he's been around solid teams for most of his career. When he's around a team that is like losing and filled with losers, he's, he might just leave and go to the store for cigarettes and never come back. You want to talk about a coach that looks like they're disappointed, like Bruce Arians, looks disappointed, James Winston, Mike Vrable just looks disappointed at his entire roster every single week after these boring ass butt games. They're butt games. They're butt cheeks. The nice, the nicest thing you can say about Ryan Tannehill is that he's

not Marcus Marriota. That is the best counting report. Like Strings is not Marcus. And the nice thing you can say about Marcus Marriota is he's not Ryan Tannehill. This is Spider-Man meme. Yeah. It is exactly. It's butt cheeks football. That's what the Titans do. It's just butt cheeks. And guess what? I have to drink, but I think Mike Vrable is so mad at his team. He might cut off his dick and throw it at him and be like, this is how you complete a pass Marcus and like throw his dick in Taylor Luan's ear or something and just like a perfect strike. Yeah. And just be like, Hey, this is how you fucking play football. You idiots. Cause you guys are butt cheeks. I actually think that there is a reality out there, an alternate reality where the Tennessee Titans

could go undefeated. And the only way that it could happen is if Mike Vrable switches up his starting quarterbacks and picks correctly every single week, because you know, once in a while you're going to get a good Marcus Marriota game that gets very confusing and he looks like a superstar. Every now and again, you'll get Ryan Tannehill that puts it together for a couple of games in a row. If he picked perfectly every single week, the Titans couldn't theory go 16 and 0. But the reality is you're never going to be able to do this mathematically impossible. But I don't know. They got to go back to the drawing board at the quarterback because the defense is still pretty good though. So I guess that's nice. Yeah. I actually would be pumped. If James went to

Nashville next year and we did what you just said, but with James as well, because he would be another one where like maybe even throw in Fitzpatrick, let the Titans have an extended roster of four quarterbacks and Mike Vrable has to pick one of those four every single week and just hope that it's the hot hand. Yeah. That'd be amazing. If you get so many weeks in a row, you can get it right. Yes. Okay. Last up the Cowboys and the Jets. I remember a time when Kellen Moore was the hottest offensive coordinator in the league. When the Cowboys were surefire Super Bowl contenders, when they were going to run away with the NFC East, when Dak Prescott was going to make $40 million a year. I remember that time because it was three weeks ago and now they're fucking

stink and they just lost their third straight game to Sam Donald and the Jets who Sam Donald credit to him looked pretty damn good in his comeback from mono. But holy shit. The Cowboys are, they were basically a shoe in for the playoffs three weeks ago. And now we're sitting here saying, what the fuck is that on Jerry Jones birthday? No less. Yeah, that was tough. It was an old fashioned spleen off between Sam Darno. Then he had Jason Witton, who is probably most notable for losing his helmet that one time and wrecking his spleen before he got in the booth as a robot. But I think that the problem the Cowboys are dealing with right now is that there's no face of the franchise for the Cowboys face of the franchise right now. Big Cat, Jerry Jones,

which face the he gets to change like once every three weeks. Did you see by the way the I put that clip on Twitter, but it was the high fives when they scored the touchdown to get within a touchdown, the high fives slash pounds that were going on in Jerry Jones box. And I don't know who it might have been Jerry Jones daughter or his wife was just didn't know whether to high five or pounds. So she just started slapping all the pounds. And it made me realize that I, what do you think the completion percentage of high fives are in NFL owner boxes? 33%. It's got to be, and that's, it's going to be the lowest. Yeah, it's got to be the lowest. The only place lower is like maybe a country club golf tournament on the 18th hole. Yeah. Yeah. Well,

from all the PGA events I've seen the 18th hole, just like the high five that happens between a player and their caddy, that only hits that maybe 10%. Right. And when it does, it's never a clean hit. I actually think that might be worse. And it's, it's definitely worse considering those would be professional athletes. You expect NFL owners, if you make, if you're a millionaire, I expect that you also suck at high fives, unless you're paid millions of dollars to be an athlete. Right. In which case, you're probably really, really fucking intimidatingly good at them. But no, that's a good question. Also, it was a Cowboys in New Jersey today. Why the fuck didn't we get a shot of Chris Christie hanging out with Jerry Jones up there?

I don't know. You know, he was there. I know. Just crushing the shrimp. Yes. That's where he was when the high fives happened. He was definitely. He's in a strip line. He's peel, peel and eat. Yeah. He's like, ooh, Cowboys have the ball. No one leaves their seat when the Cowboys have the ball. I can go get all the food. Chris Christie just shoving shrimp into his tight softball pants so that he can steal some for his walk back home. Well, Chris Christie is definitely, if you've ever sat in a boxer suite, they have that ice cream cart slash cookie slash candy cart that comes around like in the late third quarter or maybe like the six or seventh inning. Chris Christie, Christie definitely

stands in the hallway waiting for it to come. And he's like, ooh, fancy to see you here again. And like, hey, me lady. And, you know, schmoozes up the lady and tries to get as many rice Krispy treats into his fucking fat pants as he can. And that's where he was when the high fives are being missed in Jerry Jones's box. Gotcha. Yeah. Chris Christie is definitely accidentally sat on a dessert that he has smuggled in his pants. Oh, he's definitely, he gets in the car every single August. He's like, God damn it. Chocolate again. And it's just, it just, it looks like he pooped his pants because he smuggled so many Hershey kisses in the back of his pockets. I'm a little bit woke on the fact that as you alluded

to, Kevin Moore was the next hot name. He was going to take, you know, Garrett's job or he was going to get a head coaching position somewhere this offseason. Do you think, what are the, what's the percentage that you think it could be possible that they're just like kind of fucking them over from Jason, from, uh, from Garrett's perspective, that he's like taking some responsibility away from killing more because he's jealous of all the attention that he's gotten. None. I think Kellen Moore just, we, they beat a bunch of shitty teams and everyone got way ahead of themselves. And much like Notre Dame or Texas or Miami, the Cowboys are one of those teams that if they have even a little bit of success, the media loses their mind and goes crazy

and says the Cowboys are back because they just want to write a story about a team like the Cowboys. So I, I just think they're, they were vastly overrated and they'll get it figured out and they'll be around later in the season. But man, three losses in a row and one of them to the Jets who get their first win, that's tough. Now I, so Sam Darnold, I made this comment around Jets fans and it hurt them to their core, but I think it's probably what's going to happen. The Jets are going to win just enough games with Sam Darnold this year where if he didn't get mono, they would have made the playoffs and he's going to be just, and then he's going to be good enough that in the off season, everyone says Sam Darnold Dark Horse MVP and then he gets hurt next year

or takes a step back and then we do it all over again. That's the Sam Darnold. That's the history of what Sam Darnold is going to have going forward here. Yeah. Spinzone on that though. If you're a Jets fan saying we would have made the playoffs if our quarterback didn't get mono is like, that's your Super Bowl. That's as good as it's been for your franchise for the last like seven, eight years. And I think like having that little glimmer of hope, you could, you could also say like, we probably would have been contenders for the Super Bowl because we're getting hot at the right time. You get to talk about that all off season. So it's still like you kind of won the Super Bowl on your own weird brains. But yeah, I don't, I don't think that that would hurt them

that much because it's kind of fun to say. Right. Right. But it's just, I feel so bad for Jets fans because they are going to win six or seven games and then they'll do the math in their head and say, ooh, if Sam Darnold didn't get mono, we could have maybe been in the playoffs. Did you notice this during this game? They kept showing Greg Williams and Greg Williams was like so fired up that it seemed like it was some sort of a personal revenge game for him. Like he was a big part of the story and I had no idea like why Greg Williams hates the Cowboys so much, but he looked like he wanted to kill everybody. But that's just Greg Williams. He actually was after his defense made a big play, he grabbed the guy and reflexively Greg Williams just choked

him, but he was actually congratulating him. He was just choking him. That's how he says I love you. Yes. All right. That's all the games. Let's do our who's back. Let's talk a little college, a little baseball and a Monday reading before we get to who's back, a quick word from our friends at Indochino. Indochino was founded on the belief that you don't need to spend a fortune on a custom wardrobe. And guess what? We've been using Indochino. PFT's got Indochino. I've gotten a couple suits from Indochino. They are awesome and they're affordable. And that's what Indochino is about. Indochino is the world's largest made to measure menswear brand. They make suits, shirts, coats, and more and everything is made to your exact measurements for a great fit. You get to personalize

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I'm sure you were trying to log on today and you realize that the entire, they put the entire map into a black hole. People are freaking out all over the world. What does that mean? Kids can't play Fortnite. So there was like a lot of videos of kids like freaking out, punching TVs. I don't know if it's like an update or whatever. I'm saying this now, assuming that by the time you're listening to this, Fortnite is back, but there's a chance that it could just be gone forever. Who? Like the servers in a black hole, you go in online and like you can't, the world or like the map is just stuck in a black hole. Holy shit. Okay. Also, That's tough. So they, who took it offline? Do we know? No. Who put it in the black hole?

Who knows? Fortnite, big Fortnite. Damn. I saw that Elon Musk tweeted that he bought Fortnite and just destroyed it. Just shut it down as a joke. And then James Harrison fell for it on Instagram. And so James Harrison actually believes that Elon Musk destroyed Fortnite and he's very happy about that. So his children can spend more time not playing Fortnite and instead just being very intimidated of the father. Yeah. Taking as, as I Taylor said, he can have his children go take other people's other children's souls. My other who's back is Zion Williamson. I know it's not fully basketball season yet. You guys are still in football, whatever, playoff, baseball. I'll talk basketball. Last three preseason games, 77 points and 81 minutes and 29 for 36 field goals, shooting

80%. In preseason? Hmm. It doesn't matter though. It's still 80% is 80%. How is he shooting three? I don't know. Oh, okay. He's missed a couple. He missed. But he's only six foot six. So I don't know. Not great. 80% is pretty damn good. I would say. Yeah, but I don't know. He's six foot six. He's not as tall as they thought he was. By the way, breaking moves, breaking moves. Triggs are very, very talented artists who works at Barstool who's really, every time you see a cover art, it's him. He dropped a duck shirt. It's fire. That's sick. It's fire. It's fire. So we might have duck shirts. Where does it say duck? Love it. Yeah. Say no more. It's a duck. It's perfect in a, I can't say Steelers uniform,

a duck in a black and gold uniform, throwing a football and it says duck. That breaking moves was brought to you by Chocomil for real recovery. They taste real good. In the Barstool sports store where you can go buy this duck shirt. Yes, we are going to put this duck shirt on sale. It's fucking sick. Duck Fox. Yes. Duck Fox. What else you got Hank? That was it. Those are my two. That was it. Okay. I mean, I went above and beyond. I thought, yeah, you did. You had two. It was great. PFT. What do you have for who's back of the week? My first who's back is rat tails because I don't know if you saw Devin Bush,

but he has an insane rat tail. It's been too long for the rat tail to come back. The mullet had a nice run, but the rat tail is a mullet for people whose bosses have mullets. It is the working man's mullet. It's good to see it making a comeback to the national forefront again. He had a thick one. It was like a rope. Can I, I don't think that was technically a rat tail, but it did come from the bottom of his bottom. Okay. Yeah. All right. All right. Then it was a rat tail. Definitely rat tail. Okay. Like at some point when I do end up cutting my hair and we need to, I'm still waiting to hear back from Danny Woodhead about who the new players that I'll do the haircut for. But when I do eventually cut the hair, I've decided I'm going to do it in stages

where like for a week I'll have a mullet. Now I've added in a rat tail stage. So I'm going to have like at least four or five days wherever rat tail that goes down to the small my back. It is nice for Devin Bush to help the rat tail community. Cause I feel like rat tail kids, everyone knew a rat tail kid and they always were like the Birkenstocks and socks kid, the kid who maybe played magic, the gathering, the kid who maybe didn't have the best hygiene. He was the rat. It smelled like shit. Yeah. He was the rat tail kid and everyone was like, ah, are you really, is that really what you're going to do? And he's like, what? That's like, that's my hairstyle. My mom, my mom said I could wear it. It's like, okay, man, but it's really stopping you from

having any type of friends whatsoever. But he was the rat tail kid. For me, in my school, the rat tail kid was more of like the first person to get their ears pierced. The first dude that had like a diamond stud or something in their left ear. That was the guy that was rocking a rat tail. So he was cool. Birkenstock kid. Are you saying he was cool? Yeah. Yeah. In my school, he was, he was cool and like elementary slash early middle school. And then the rat tail kid fell hard and fell fast from that point moving forward. How much, how much money do you think the most successful person has that had a rat tail for at least a year when they were a youth? No, but I'm talking about, do you think there is a billionaire who rocked a rat tail? I'd say no.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Silicon Valley. Oh, maybe yeah. Absolutely had a rat tail. The nerd also say that I would Steve Ballmer might have had a rat tail. Yeah, I forgot about the nerds, the really nerdy nerds was definitely a rat tail candidate. Okay. Then let me ask it this way. What is the, so Devon Bush has a rat tail right now, but he probably didn't have one as a kid. Do you think how many professional athletes had a rat tail for at least a year as a child? I think like 60% of the NHL had a rat tail at some point. No. They just had sick flow, dude. There's a big difference. No. Rat tail is like, you could have flow. No mansplains flow to me. No, but listen, flow is, is cool. Rat tail is like you could have

flow, but instead you decide to have no friends and be the stinky kid who plays Magic the Gathering. I think that there's a lot of, a lot of hockey players had rat tails between the age of like, I'm talking seven and 10. So before it was really, they can't be held responsible for those decisions that you make at that age. That's on your parents, but I think like 60% of the NHL, and I would say that 45 to 50% of major league baseball bullpens had rat tail. Rat tail kid is the kid who cries and demands to call home first night of overnight camp. Phil Rivers probably had a rat tail as a youth. I would be shocked if he didn't. I could see that. I could see Phil Rivers being a rat tail kid. All right. What's your other who's

back? My other who's back is Washington DC sports. So the Washington Mystics won a, won a championship, a WNBA championship with Elena Deladon. Great player. Don't know why she got away from wherever she was before, but it's just great to see the district of champions, reigning supreme. Yet again, Natitude's back in a big way, two and O and we're heading back to DC ready to, you know what? I might, I might buy a broom on my way back to New York tomorrow and just bring a bunch of brooms. I think it's broom time. Everyone's talking sweep in the district. So DC sports is back and the Redskins won a football game against the team. So that's good. You're such a big mystics fan. You waited four days to mention the fact that they won the WNBA

NBA championship. Well, we, I tweeted about it on Thursday. Well, we could, I was ready to talk about it on the show. Weren't you Hank? And you said, you said, no one gives a fuck about WNBA. I was like, we should talk about it. We had finished taping the show before the game. I remember it. I was like, yo, I used to be a sky season ticket holder. I love WNBA and you go, no one gives a fuck about WNBA, bro. I've never said that. Some of my best parents are female. I, I like female. I was shocked when you said it, but that's fine. It sounds like you've had an awakening going to Vancouver and realized that WNBA and, and she did it on a messed up back. She's got all these herniated discs and stuff. I'm just saying like great, great basketball

player. It's a pleasure to have her glad that she's finally in the city that loves her. Well, she had to go help her sister who has a medical issues, which you didn't know because you're not a big mystics fan. Listen, don't try to mansplain women's basketball to me. Okay. My who's back is baby back bitches. So our producers, our young producers, Liam and Hank went to rolling loud this weekend. I don't know what that is. Basically like would modern day Woodstock, but for rap and in New York. Okay, cool. So, uh, how was it, Hank? It was great. I mean, like I said, there was a lot of people there. Travis Scott shattered his ACL and performed the whole concert on one leg. No way. So did you meet? Oh, did you meet any famous people?

Yeah, you meet any famous people? There was one point where I was in, in, in the bathroom area. There was like no one around in near these porter parties and I turned around and Kevin Durant, friend of the show, was standing right there. Uh, and there was a group of people around me, they're like, yo, you should go talk to them, say what up, like see if you can get them on the show. And I just, you know, my, I got a little heart flutter. I was nervous. I was like, I don't want to bother in bubble blows. And then, and then he got in a golf cart and drove away and we never got to catch up. And immediately after I regretted it and was like, that was a huge pussy move. Bad, bad producing by me mistake. I'm sorry. And Kevin, I'm sorry.

Cause we were like probably like staring at him. It's like, what the fuck are these people staring at? So you could have booked him. Was he, was he by himself heck or did he have a group around? It was, he was basically by himself. He was standing with like one other guy. They were like waiting for a ride. I think though. No, they were waiting for a podcast producer to invite him. Yeah, they were, they were like, the, the opportunity was there. It wasn't like, I, I, in my head, I was like, I don't want to bother him, but I don't think I really would have bothered him if I was just, you know, would up Kevin Durant. Come on show. Yeah. Come on. Hey, you got it in every New Yorkers life. It just at some point becomes a series of moments of getting

waited to be invited on different podcasts. I did booked right from the stage that he's in right now. Oh, you did. Yeah. He did. Correct. His name is Gregory on the show. Yeah. Gregory. Well, okay. So the reason why the triple B is back, I then shot a DM to Katie and I said, Hey, my producers saw you at rolling loud and was a complete coward and didn't come up to you and talk to you. And Katie responded, he's a baby back bitch. So credit to Katie for being in on that joke and Hank, you now are the baby back bitch. Yeah. I mean, I can't say, I can't say I'm not. I thought I'd be like, oh, no, I'm sure I'll run into him later. I'll talk to him then. Obviously, never ran into him. Come on, Hank. Hank, did you DM him after the fact? Because he responds to just

about everybody's DMs on Instagram. Did you hit him with like the, the move where a loser goes home from a bar and he texts his friend who's a girl? Like I really, I really wanted to kiss you at the bar. Did you feel the same way? Miss connections, Hank maybe treated like, Hey, I saw this hot guy at rolling loud. Anyone know who he is? I wanted, I wanted to get him on my podcast. I didn't. I should though. This is kind of me doing that. You should, you should do that tomorrow. A verbal DM. Yeah. All right. Let's talk some college football. Should we do that? Should we do some college football? I have a C key question promo code take put in promo code taking a $10 off C key purchase. My C key question is PFT. What were you going to say about LSU

earlier when we saved it for the college football talk? Well, I've got kind of a dream scenario that might play out and it's, it's a nightmare scenario for you, but it is the chaos scenario that could happen in college football. So try to follow along here. Okay. LSU loses against Alabama, right? No, say that this happens. No. Well, I don't want it to happen either, but I'm saying if that happens, Alabama plays against probably, I don't know what George, wait, time out, time out. Your dream scenario is LSU losing to Alabama. No, it's, it's, it's the chaos scenario. I should rename it. I'm rebranding it right now as the chaos scenario. LSU loses against Alabama. So LSU doesn't play in the SEC championship game. Wisconsin loses

against Ohio state, but then Wisconsin beats Ohio state in the big 10 championship game. LSU doesn't play in the SEC championship game and LSU gets into the final four. And Wisconsin does too? No, and Wisconsin doesn't. I guess I should say Wisconsin beats Ohio state and then loses to them in the big 10 championship game while LSU is not playing that weekend. And then LSU gets in the final four and Wisconsin gets left out. That is the SEC chaos scenario that I'm kind of a little bit rooting for. I think you need to, to maybe do a little more digging on this because I'm, I don't quite follow it. And I also don't know how this is a dream chaos scenario. Wouldn't be a dream chaos scenario like both Wisconsin and LSU getting in and then

having my heart ripped out maybe twice. I don't want you to see, I don't want to see you lose that badly. Why? I don't want you to get close enough to get your heart broken. What are you talking about? That's the biggest lie I've ever heard. You love when I lose. No, I, I like to see you lose, but I don't like to see you like utterly devastated as much as, as you might think. Hank, are you listening to this? This is just a lie, lies and lies. Complete lie. Like the biggest lie of all time. I'll put it this way. I'll put it this way, because I enjoyed seeing you lose, the Bears lose against the Eagles, but I think I would actually hate seeing the Bears lose a Super Bowl and what that would do to you. No, you, that's these are lies. Right. But that's why

like big 10 championship is just right, right enough on the cusp where it's like, all right. Well, let's talk about Wisconsin real quick, because I am fully, fully ready to get my heart ripped out. I am, they are awesome. They're so good. They just kill teams. Yeah. They fucking kill teams. They just, it's, I've already, I've already convinced myself PFT that we have a two game series against Ohio state. So go to Columbus, get your recon in, maybe lose that game, but learn a lot and then beat him in India and then go to the college football playoff. That's, that's, I've already convinced myself that's what's going to happen. They should do it on aggregate, like they do in the Champions League. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. But I, that's, that's what I've convinced

myself. So LSU, that was an electric, uh, atmosphere cover. Cocho saying, uh, uh, death valley where opponents dreams come to die in, in Cocho fashion. The whole night was awesome. I wish we had been there last year to see at least one touchdown because it seems like scoring touchdowns makes a lot of fun. Um, and then the other big news from, from the college football, uh, Saturday was Georgia. Just absolutely. They Clemson themselves, old school Clemson. And they're still in it because they could still, if they run the table and they beat Alabama in the SC championship game, I think they have Florida. I think they have Auburn. So they still have a chance, but holy shit, that one came out of nowhere and it's a trickle down

too. Cause now Notre Dame, that close loss that all Notre Dame alums have been telling everyone about that doesn't look as good. And that's why I love college football. And basically week to week, you can go from being like, ooh, this close loss was sick. It's on our resume. And then South Carolina goes in there and that wet dog will must champ beats Kirby smart. He was trying to lose too. Yeah. They were Rodrigo let him down though. Rodrigo let him down. And, uh, yeah, I love college football. Must champ set all time records for being just a damp boy in that game. Like after the game, when he was celebrating, he just looked like some dude that had walked out of a Russian

bath house after sitting in the sauna for like six hours. He was just soggy. His bangs will must champs bangs when he starts sweating too much, which is really all the time. It's unlike anything else that you'll ever see in nature. Like the different shapes that his hair takes on doesn't look, it's very, very bizarre, but congrats to him. Cause I guess he's going to have sex with his wife this weekend after saying that she didn't, she didn't like to hang around with losers. Um, I like getting one good will must champ win in every year because you need them, you need them in the SEC. You need them at a big time college football program to like go five and six every single year, still have a contract for life

and then beat one team that they have absolutely no business beating. So it was good to see that happen this weekend. Okay. So the other two things for college football, CD lamb is awesome. He was incredible. He's been awesome for a while, but he and Jerry Judy are going to be top 10 picks and that's going to be whoever gets either of those guys is going to have a wide receiver like the next crop of wide receivers. This draft is going to be awesome for, and then I had a stat line for you real quick PFT, Rutgers football, Johnny Langen, the quarterback for Rutgers. Can you guess his stat line and I will tell you how many attempts he had. He had 13 attempts, 13 attempts, 70 yards. Johnny Langen for Rutgers was five for

13, zero touchdowns, zero interceptions, one yard. Oh my God. Well, that's because in college, they count sacks against the passing yard. Five for 13 for one yard. That is just seeing that. I think it's safe to say that Nunzio Campanella era is not going so well as they got smoked by Indiana. He needs to get his guys in this weekend. Nunzio was concerned. He was looking ahead to the Columbus day parade. Yes. He had big plans for that. So you can excuse him for overlooking this game. Today's episode of part of my take is brought to you by Movember. Movember is the leading charity dedicated to changing the face of men's health around the world. You might be like, Hey, PFT, it's kind of ironic. You're face bald. Why are you talking

to me about Movember? Well, I've got a playoff beard growing in right now. And when I shave it all into my mustache by the end of the month to celebrate a World Series championship, I'm going to have a sweet, sweet stash. The mow is going to be lit for a show. This Movember, whatever mustache you grow, will save a bro. Your support is going to change the face of men's health, raising awareness and funds for prostate cancer, testicular cancer, mental health and suicide prevention. So you're doing a lot of good. This year, Barstow's own Donny does the wanton Don. He is growing out his mow to save a bro. Join him on the Barstow Movember team. Help us change the face of men's health for every 50 bucks that you fundraise in our team.

You're going to get an entry to win a trip for two to join us at the Army versus Navy live college football show in December. It's a great game to go to if you haven't been to the Army, Navy game. You should absolutely try to make it at some point and hang out with us while we're doing our college football show there. Again, for every $50 that you fundraise on our team, you get an entry to win a trip for two to join us there. All you have to do is go to movember.com slash Barstow to join our team, grow your mustache and fundraise your chance to win the grand prize. It's Movember. The month formerly known as November is now Movember. We're entering into it and help us save lives. Help us do some good out there.

Help Barstow and help Donny and help yourself win a trip potentially to go see Army, Navy game. All right, let's do football guy the week because we're on college football and we will start with Cocho. So we should put that on there. Cocho. Welcome to Dead Valley. Well, pull his dreams up to death. Good luck, coach. Go Tigers. Like I got chills straight down my spine when he said this on Saturday night and hearing how fucking loud that stadium was. It was great. It was such an amazing place. Like I my big regret is we never got to hear the band play neck live when we were down there. So I don't know if you saw this, but Darius Geist tweeted out that he would cover the fine if they played neck, which is I love the fact that LSU is not allowed to play neck, but

they're like you can play it if you pay us money. That's the most Louisiana thing of all times. Break the law. Just grease the palms a little bit. Yes. Dick Buckus got a statue at Illinois over the weekend and he gave a speech and it was I watched this whole speech. He was so matter of fact. He said shit. I had fun knocking the shit out of people and it was just you could see the sparkle in his eye talking about just kicking the shit out of other people on the football field and how much he missed it. Yeah. I think we as a society don't talk enough about the fact that Dick Buckus, his name is Dick Butt Kiss. Yes. It's all around 13 out of 10. Very good name. We need to we need to make sure that we appreciate him while we still got him. And then last up we had

Patriots cornerback Joe John, Joe John, Joe Juan, Joe Juan Williams. He spends two nights a week watching youth football practices and another at a high school game because that's just who I am and I love to be around football. That's normal. Yeah. Totally normal stuff. Just go to a high school game. Sit right right up in the front row. Just look at the you know what you'll see at a high school game is kids without long hair and no tattoos. True. A lot of that good pure stuff that you love to see as a fan. True. All right. Those are football guys of the week. Everyone tweet us or vote for the award. We'll try to get the guy on whoever wins. We owe everyone the LSU strength coach. We were backed up on interviews. We'll get that for next week.

Maybe if coach all wins, we can do a two. Yeah, maybe if coach. Don't pander. Don't rig. Don't rig it. No, I just have a vote for coach. Oh, because we'll get coach all on for everyone. And we'll just I'd also like to clarify. At this point, I should say that I'm not rooting for LSU to lose against Alabama sounded like this. Well, I would never say that. That was your dream. I just like to I like chaos in college football. I was because I had a dream doesn't mean I enjoyed the dream. That was like when Dwight says his dream and his dream is to work as a bellhop at a hotel. Like your dream is to watch LSU lose to Alabama again. I don't want that. That's no, it's my nightmare. It's my nightmare to see that. Yeah, I think you pretty much very different.

This episode of part of my take is brought to you by Policy Genius. Halloween is on the way, which means it's time to break out the rubber spiders, fake cobwebs, and jack-o-lanterns. But if you've got a family, you might be dealing with something a little scary right now and that's shopping for life insurance. If the idea of looking for life insurance intimidates you, you can go to policygenius.com. I won't even know where to get started when it came to comparing quotes and prices and policies for life insurance. But with policygenius.com, they make it super, super easy. It's the easiest way to shop for life insurance online because in minutes, you can compare quotes from top insurers to find your best price. Super easy.

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you guys are making it too easy. Like I want the Cardinals, no one's even going to the Cardinals games. There was like $20 to get in. I want you guys to inflict pain. This is too, yeah, it's too quick. The no hitters every single game. I mean, this is, give me something. Let them, let them have some hope and then snatch it from them. That's what I need out of the Nats. I mean, we're utterly emasculating the entire city of St. Louis, by the way, that we're just suffocating the team. I would say it's almost worse to just get, just get your heart ripped out in a very, very slow manner like this. It's so futile. And DC is like, you know, they are very excited about the Nationals right now. St. Louis is just, you know, it's a product of them having too much

success. I think they just kind of expect the Cardinals to make the World Series every year. And they're not used to seeing a hotshot up and coming team like this. So I'm sorry that we're not, we're not doing enough to like break their hearts in, you know, late, late inning theatrics and heroics, but wouldn't it be better to sweep the St. Louis Cardinals? I did appreciate when Adam Wainwright had a very good outing and was completely cocked by Max Scherzer. That I appreciated. So I'll say that. That was very nice of you guys. Okay. I think you're also underestimating the, just the overall hilariousness of people grown men carrying brooms around places. So if there's a sweep, I really love seeing like people trying to get into ballparks and not being

allowed in because the brooms are considered weapons now. And you get all those pictures of like trash cans right outside the stadium. They're just filled with brooms that people brought from their own house. Yes. Yes. Oh, I totally forgot to say something that I need to at least mention PFT. Did you see in the Jets game, the Jets Cowboys game, they had Tracy, Tracy Wolfson wear the flak jacket that Sam Darnold was wearing and it was fucking awesome. And I guarantee you, Big Ben is going to get re-injured at some point because he is so jealous, the fact that, that Sam Darnold has all this pub about his spleen and the fact that he might die on the football field. Yeah. I mean, if you want to get into a dangerous situation, you just get

Big Ben dead set on a contracting mono, come hell or high water and then nobody is safe at that point. Yeah. I did see the, I did see the flak jacket. He looked awesome. Anytime that you can put on any sort of tactical wear or gear, I think that you always look cooler doing that. Yes. Okay. And then obviously the other series, we're watching the 11th inning right now. I have a pinstripes update. I've given them to John Carlo and then he got benched the next day, but I gave them to him after game one. What do you, oh, he got hurt. Oh yeah. I'm taking away his pinstripes. Boom. Done. Taking them away. For getting injured. Yeah. Yeah. He got injured. So fuck that. Pinstripes taken. Gleiber has his Aaron judge. I might give Aaron judges pinstripes.

I don't know. I just, they win this game. Yeah, official, official predictions for this game right now. It's two, two, top 11, two out. It's one in the morning. I will let me, let me look if I can tell you what happens before it happens. I think the Yankees win as well. I'll say that right. Yeah. Four two. That sounds right. Okay. So congrats on the Yankees. They're up two, oh, no one thought it would happen. And if this turns out to be wrong, make sure you keep it in the podcast because it's very, very funny. Also it's, it's Altuve and Aaron judge picture season. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. The pinstripes on Aaron judge really make that, you know, foot height difference pop. Right. Okay. Let's finish the show with a Monday reading. By the way, we have Bill Burr

on Wednesday. That's going to be a lot of fun. We have Bill Burr on Wednesday. He came in last week. What's going on here? Why wasn't that strike three? Oh my God. Okay. So Monday reading, PFC. I'm excited for this one. Ready? My, my husband wants to start a restaurant for magicians and it is tearing our family apart. I've been with my partner for eight years. We have a four year old son and a two year old daughter. Our relationship has been a little rocky partly due to his highly demanding job in the restaurant industry, but we love each other deeply and it always will. He has been the head chef of a relatively successful restaurant for three years now and is the only source of income for our family since I left my job in the charity sector to look

after our children. So we've got the stage set there for the past four or so months. He has been floating the idea of starting a restaurant for magicians with increasing seriousness and dedication. It is not obvious what this entails. So I ought to explain. He envisions a restaurant which unbeknownst to the general public is littered with magical props, levitating tables, bending cutlery and torn and restored menus to name a few. The meals served to customers can be requested to have particular playing cards inside to allow for a spectacular reveal. And if you ask a waiter to think of a card, he will always say the seven of hearts. The idea here is it seems is to allow for an environment where men on dates who are in on the scheme are able to impress their companions

with seemingly spontaneous magic tricks requiring little skill or where amateur magicians can go to perform relaxed impromptu shows thoughts. Okay, where's this going to get weird? Oh, here we go. You asked. I'll deliver. It just seems like it seems like a pretty standard business setup. I'm sorry. They're marketing to kind of a, you might say a niche customer in aspiring magician, but dinner and a show, I don't really see a problem with that. Okay. I'm going to reserve my commentary on the merit of this idea until later, but I should explain that my husband has never shown a remote interest in magic until around four months ago when he met his friend who in this post we will call Chris. It's definitely Chris Angel, right? Oh, yeah.

Mindfree. Yes. It's, it's Chris. You got mindfree. He got my, so mindfree. Oh, he got my watch. He got mindfree. Chris is something of a magic enthusiast. And since meeting with my husband has become encapsulated by this idea, I, I'm using his throwaway account because Chris is an avid Reddit user. Oh, you think? Uh, I think it's, that's pretty hilarious right there. The fact that she's using a throwaway account so that she's not identified in her post about this very, very specific magician restaurant, a restaurant for magicians. There's probably a lot of Chris is back to me. I used a burner account. Uh, over the past two weeks, Chris has convinced my husband that he ought to quit his job and use all of our savings to start this restaurant,

which would burden our family with an enormous amount of financial uncertainty. We had a huge fight about this two nights ago during which I said some things that I have come to regret insulting his restaurant idea, his cooking and his new friend, Chris during this fight. I think you probably don't regret anything you say about Chris. Chris deserves what's coming to him in this situation, but I want to go back because I just realized that when you're talking about the different things that they have at this magician restaurant, this magic restaurant, like the server will always say the seven of hearts or whatever. And you can arrange to have cards put in places. You're not talking about a magic restaurant. You're talking about just

a bunch of walkoff walkoff walkoff. So the part that we said about the Yankees winning four or two, that was wrong. Ignore that. Ignore that part. We just saw the walkoff. George Springer. Jake's about to cry. Sorry, my darling. But you know what I'm saying? It's, uh, you're not describing magic. Are you just describing all the Yankee fans in the office just started screaming, fuck, fuck. Oh, where's my get the cool? All right. Uh, yeah. Yeah. Wait. Sorry. Were you just saying you're not describing magic? Yeah. You're talking about tricks. Like, not those aren't real magicians. They're not doing actual magic. Those are just tricks that people have set up. Right. All right. So during this fight, my husband argued that he ought to be allowed to follow his dreams and

that his idea is good because quote, Chris came up with it and Chris is a magician and magicians are smart. He got hypnotized. That's what happened. Chris, Chris hypnotized them on the day that they met. Bro, I got hypnotized two weeks ago. I thought I had outwitted the hypnotist, but then I bet a shitload of unders and lost. So I think the hypnotist actually hypnotized me. I have got, I've since gotten out of the hypnotist spell and bet a bunch of overs. This honestly does not seem like the man I fell in love with who was creative, but also pragmatic and level headed. Yeah, dude. He met Chris, the magician, like talking about getting swept off your feet. If Chris, the magician comes and starts doing card tricks and tells you to open a magician's restaurant. Yeah. No,

shit. That's not the guy you fell in love with. He's been literally seduced by a magician. That's the sexiest thing that anyone could have happened. Honestly, Chris sounds a lot more entertaining and creative than the person who wrote this read and post complaining. Like I'd like to see her offer a suggestion for a magician restaurant. His fixation on Chris seems to have massively clouded his judgment. And I don't believe it is possible to rely on this restaurant for magicians idea to feed our family of four. I can't believe these are real. Where do you think, where do you think a magician restaurant would have the highest likelihood of succeeding Vegas? Yeah, Vegas, Vegas, Atlantic City, Reno, Atlantic City. I could see it succeeding in Tampa.

Oh, you know what? If you put it in an area that has like a lot of children in it, like kids are fascinated by magic, I bet you that kids would go to the magician restaurant. Put it in a school. Yeah, I'd agree. I agree with that. So yeah, so there's a few cities, hopefully they live in Tampa. All right, so let's finish up this post. How can I convince my husband that this idea is bad without hurting him or damaging our relationship? He's incredibly sensitive about it and would seemingly jump through 1000 hoops to come to the defense of Chris, a person he did not know just four months ago. And that's the end of the post. And I'm going to say it right now. You're about to get dumped because Chris the magician sounds like a fucking G. Yeah, he's not. This is like Chris absolutely

emotionally owning your husband at this point. Like you were he is no longer in love with you. He's been tough. If Chris can talk him into opening a magician restaurant, he can literally make him do anything that he wants. Yes, he's like a little robot that's under his control at this point. So just let him go. The man you knew is not there. Or maybe you could just like meet Chris. I don't know if this if the lady knows Chris, but I'm sure that Chris would be open to having an exploratory relationship with her as well. I think the only thing that she can do is find David Blaine and have David Blaine come and expose Chris for being like a fraud magician. That's it because outside of that, outside of being like, Hey, this is not a real magician. This is a fake magician and he just

wants to open a magic restaurant and take all your money. You're, guess what? You're opening a magician's restaurant and you're putting all your life savings into it and your kids aren't going to college because their dad is going to be opening a magician's restaurant. That's probably going to be pretty sweet until you go bankrupt like three months into it. Yeah. I wouldn't count it out so quick, big cat. I think based on the virality of this post on Reddit, there's probably an audience out there that would try it once like for the novelty of it. This is, you know what? This is like David Buster's for virgins. Yes. David Buster's Chad Abracadabra restaurant, Verge. Love it. Love it. Chris Angel, you've done it again. You're a mind freak. Okay. That is our show. We'll see

everyone on Wednesday. We got Bill Burr and P.F.T. will be back in studio. Love you guys. Anyway, today is another day to find you. Shine away. I'll be coming for your love.