Pardon My Take - NFL Week 9 Recap, Fastest 2 Minutes + Football Guy Of The Week

Episode Date: November 4, 2019

NFL Week 9. Fastest 2 Minutes. Recapping every game from Sunday. Lamar was on fire, Minshew Mania might be over, the Redskins can't score, Adam Gase's impost syndrome, the Bears gained a single passing yard in the first half. Jameis is a HoFer, the Packers can't deal with Daylight Savings, and we debate the merits of Matt Patricia's football guy status. Who's back of the week. Football Guy of the Week and the revelation that Dan Mullen is a self cucker. Hurt or Injured Nate Diaz and a recap of UFC 244 + Washington Nationals Parade Math. You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen, add free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take week nine, we got football, football, football and more football. It is our Monday football only show. We're going to recap everything. We're going to talk a little Brown's dumpster fire bears dumpster fire.

We actually have a lot of done chains, I think, this week. I think this was the Dunchain week. So we got a lot of done chains. We got some MMA. We're going to talk a little who's back football guy the week. We got a pack show for you and it's all brought to you by the cash app. Cash app is the simplest way to send and save money. And now it's the simplest way to try to grow your money introducing cash

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member SIPC. Also, it's Monday. And you know what that means today is bad beats Monday. Cash app is hooking up AWLs who suffered over the weekend. So treat your beats to at part of my take and at cash app with the hashtag bad beats Monday and don't forget your cash tag in order to get partially made partially whole again. Don't forget the whole hashtag or you'll be cursed for next weekend's games.

That's just science. Don't question it. Download the cash app from the app store or Google Play Store today. And remember, tweet your bad beats. It's bad beats Monday. So hashtag bad beats Monday to part of my take at part of my take and at cash. Okay, let's go. Don't do it.

It's harder than my tape. Presenting by far. Welcome to part of my tape presented by the cash app. It is bad beats Monday. So tweet your bad beats hashtag bad beats Monday to the cash app and at part of my take and they will hook some AWLs up. Today is Monday, November 4th, week nine. What?

What? What? We start in foggy London town where Jacksonville meets Houston at Wembley Stadium, the Jaguars Sherlock home away from home to Sean elementary. My dear Watson was racking up the Scotland yards on the ground and through the air and Texans linebacker Brennan Scarlett Letter put a giant C on Leonard Fernand's chest for cocked. Anyone can be a gardener if they got a two foot long hose.

Speaking of oversized hoses to each, Nick Foles is expected to be back week 11 after the buy. That's a totally unrelated fact. Texan 26 Jaguar three. Totally good out in Western New York where the Redskins gameplay in West. I hope the rookie QB Dwayne just hold on to the rock. Devin Samurai, Mike Singletary was slashing the Redskins defense all afternoon as Josh Ray Allen was getting there, switching back and forth between

the run in the past. Bill Tom Callahan said I can get a good look at a terrible franchise by sticking my head up Dan Snyder's ass, but I'd rather take Bruce Allen's word for it. Hey, teach. Yeah, boom. No one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills in Kansas City where Tyreek One Tree Hill gave Demian Williams a Sophia Bush push into the end

zone on a long score. Kirk Cousins continues to feel most comfortable playing at home in his mom's basement like your typical millennial quarterback. Okay, boomer. Huh? That's what the kids are saying, boomer. Okay, boomer. So I'm back, boomers back, the Schwarm is back, back, back, back, back, back.

And it feels like the crowd is saying, give me, give me more, give me, give me more. Yeah, that's right, teach. Britney's back too, bitch. Chiefs 26, Vikings 23. Flipper, Flipper is hyper intelligent. They feel joy and depression. Sometimes they commit suicide.

One time a dolphin was in a sexual relationship with a trainer. When the trainer was caught, the dolphin killed itself. Flipper, Flipper, Flipper communicates with sonar. The military also uses sonar, except they use it real loud. 235 decibels of sonar. When it hits a dolphin, the dolphin's brain turns into mush. Dolphin 26, Jets 18 in the still city where Jacobi brisket's knee needs a dry rub down because his knee is cuck.

Brian Georgetown Hoyer backs up the UN theory yet again as not only are the Colts better without Andrew Luck, but they're better without Jacobi brisket, even though that's not true. The line worked way too well for your Schwarm to pass up. Minka, oh, oh, oh, it's Patrick. You know, why did Miami let me go as a second year player? Good, go, oh, the way scored a 96 yard pick six and in the words of my good friend, the sheriff, Peyton Manning.

He missed it as so often happens when the Steelers play the Colts. The game was decided in our last second kick. Sorry, Colts fan. The idiot kicker, Mike Banner Jack, isn't getting a looker up and walking through that door still is 26 Colts 23. Standing on a corner, James Winston, Tampa, Florida, such a fine sight to see. It's a fumble, my Lord. And our jaws are on the floor staring at that tiny hand.

It's empty. Bruce won't sit back. He's tired of his act. He's never seen that before. James did a self strip sack. Seat ox 40 bucks, 34 in Carolina, where Ryan raisin, Brenna Hill made the Titans look very regular and kind of shitty. And the Panthers offense continued to play well, making it more and more difficult

for Ron Rivera to picture himself switching back and forth between Cam Newton and Kyle Ray Allen. Sister Christian McCaffrey was motor in his way to three touchdowns as a Panthers running back to running game, took flight and DJ Smore was a sweet piece of chocolate to McCaffrey's cracker. You mean Mike Mayock boom? Yes, the sweet piece of chocolate to McCaffrey's like Mayock. The Panthers get back in the wind column 30, 20.

Bumble. So right. In San Diego, one of the unstoppable force makes the immovable object as Philip Rivers, no nut November, made Aaron Rodgers quit no shave November on the very first day. Melvin Gordon Hayward made sure that daddy's always happy, scoring two touchdowns for his prolific quarterback. Fall is here at Mike's William Sonoma, gobbled up the yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, accentuating the charges fall aesthetic and two game win streak.

Carmelo Anthony Lin knows his hoodie season, folks, and was wet from three, calling for five field goals in a win. The San Diego Super Chargers 26, the Green Bay Packers 11. We finish in mile high where the Broncos quarterback of the future, Brandon Ray Allen, wanted to la la la la la lick you from your head to your toes, switching back between his tongue and his penis as he throws a. I want to throw a no, no, no, no, no fat T.D. Bozo Dell Beckham was wearing clown shoes as the Browns season continues to be a

circus and it looks like Freddie Kittens is actually a big pussy cat as the Browns are running out of lives quickly. Broncos 24, the Browns 19. All right, week nine. I'm not going to say that song. I'm not going to say it. What song? What song? We're talking about Hank.

I want to let you from your head to your toes. Ludacris, Luda, Luda, Spaghetti. Oh, all right, week nine in the books. We got Cowboys are playing on Monday night, whatever again. So as always, we should start from Sunday night and then we'll go back to the 930 game, which I have a take on that I want to hear what you have to say to it. But let's start with the Monday Sunday night game. Lamar Jackson, whoo, sheesh.

The New England Patriots are no longer undefeated. The 49ers are your lone undefeated team. Turnover luck didn't work their way. That's football's version of Babbit. It's a turnover look. I'm so sick of Babbit. The the Collins worth. It was shades of when Chip Kelly revolutionized

offense in the first half in that Monday night game, Collins worth. Well, very excited, maybe a little over his skis when he said in five years, we will look back at this night and remember what Lamar Jackson just did to the NFL. Yeah, he did that when they were up 17, nothing. Now they did win and they were impressive all night, but maybe a little ahead of ourselves. We were about 30 seconds away from getting an Amazon Web Services on how quickly Chris's dick filled up with blood every time Lamar Jackson ran for an eight yard game. He was pumped.

But I will say this is the playbook out on how to beat the New England Patriots, because by my estimation, all you really need is a transcendental quarterback. You need transcendental quarterback, a generational talent quarterback. You need Ed Reed entering the Ring of Honor at halftime, which was awesome. And you need a sweet set of strobe, strobe lights in the stadium every time this court touched on sickest strobe lights. They hit those too fast. I listen, the fireworks are awesome.

The strobe lights too much in every stadium is doing it. Yeah, well, they're copying the college game, much like the Ravens offense is copying a college offense. Now, they are unstoppable on offense when Lamar Jax is able to run the ball like that. The whole team, two hundred and ten yards rushing. The only problem is Lamar is going to get hurt at some point. Well, every time he gets hit, I'm like, is this the time you're going to get Ravens fans mad at you for that?

I mean, I hope that he doesn't know, I know, but eventually he will know Ravens fans will say, well, he doesn't run like every other running quarterback ever. He doesn't get hit. He is probably, you know, the top, he's in the top three of all running quarterbacks ever in terms of like how smoothie runs, how deceptive. He's very good and he is good at avoiding hits. He's phenomenal. But just if you look at, if you look at the history of the NFL,

eventually he's going to get taxed. Yeah, this is the, I made this point a few weeks ago and then I got Ravens fans up my ass because you were also calling him frauds. Well, I, and I, I, I fixed that two weeks ago. They were no longer frauds after the Seahawks game. I told you, I laid it out. If they beat the Seahawks, if they beat the Patriots, just had to beat one of the two, they would no longer be frauds.

They beat both of them and now look like serious, serious contenders. And Chris Collinsworth, by the way, also just ruined Lamar Jackson because he told his tell, he said that if he wipes his towel, he's throwing a pass. And if he doesn't, he's running the ball. This is all just totally nonsense that no one cares about. We all just want to hear our great producer and great friend, his spin zone. Hank, the floor is yours. No spin zone.

I mean, the Patriots lost historic defense. I've, I've talked many times on the show about how they've been on the receiving end of their turnover look. You have. Fortunately, you've been consistent against them tonight. But that happens in the NFL. I'll be excited to play the Ravens again in the playoffs. We're the, we're the boogeyman scene ghosts.

The Patriots, they looked like they were tackling themselves. The Patriots fucked themselves. They too many penalties, too many turnovers, turnovers, a couple of bounces go their way. And they have the bounces. It's the bounces that didn't go their way. I think the Ravens played a good game. I think Lamar Jackson is very good, but I think the Patriots beat themselves more than the Ravens.

Do you think there's an element of the beat themselves by having the most electric dual threat fumble or back playing against them? So still undefeated them because they, they haven't lost to an opponent. Well, they're 500 against the Patriots. Yeah. Yeah. So Hank, my next question is one, I've said it on the show from the beginning of the year. Do you, do you have, do you think there was, do you think there was an element of Bill Belichick maybe trying not to show everything knowing that

it's just a regular season game like you said on Friday? That was your pre-spin zone. Yeah, that was my pre-season. Yeah. No, Belichick was pretty mad. I mean, it was a beautiful game where the Patriots had enough fuckups where Belichick is going to light into them. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's good. All their mistakes. Well, it's actually, I'll agree with you on that.

Yeah. I think they have a bye week and then they're playing the Eagles. They're going to, they're going to kill the. Uh-huh. How long is it going to take for somebody to get the word to Belichick? That Lamar Jackson was doing that thing with his towel, because I don't think Belichick watches the broadcast of the game. Well, they probably have somebody in the stands that is tuned in and then radios down to them, telling them what's going on.

But if that's not the case, I think that'll probably take a couple of days for somebody who's not just watching the film to get Belichick's ear and be like, hey, does this thing with the towel? But you guys would admit that the Patriots, like they didn't, they weren't noticed to be out of that game. They could have won. They lost by three touchdowns. They were down the whole game.

I mean, the Edelman fumble was definitely the difference. That was when it kind of tilted there. I, they were, they were definitely coming back there, but then you could say the same thing for the Ravens fumble on the, on the punt. That brought the Patriots back when they were down 17, nothing. My, my biggest takeaway, Hank, is like, if you're a Patriots fan, this team is obviously still good. This team is obviously still going to be the one or the two seed.

I would put my money on the one, but the Ravens, if the Ravens just keep playing well, they would now have the tiebreaker. They end up with both two losses, but is there a little element of you being worried that this was the first real test after playing pretty much no one and they failed? No. Okay. It's a good test. And guess what? I kind of agree with you, because I think what will happen is everyone will overreact. Everyone will overreact because that's always a way to get a ton of news is to be like, look at the Patriots.

They sucked on their first big test. Bill Belichick's still going to, I mean, he's pretty much going to fix everything. It actually, I mean, in a weird way, like if you're a Ravens fan, are you even happy that you like show him stuff? It's like the Chargers game last year, the Ravens beat the Chargers in San Diego and then they play the playoff game and the Chargers had everything that they needed to beat Lamar. Hank, I think that if I were you, I would just go with the spin zone that if this game were played in New England,

the Patriots would have won. There was a lot of Ring of Honor magic between Ed Reed and Ray Lewis in the building. That was, by the way, the Ravens should have held onto that for like a bigger game. They should have saved that for the playoffs. Yeah. Yeah. Ed Reed is starting to piss me off a little bit and I love Ed Reed, but he makes me mad because no matter what he does, he looks cool doing it. And it's not fair. Yeah.

He is. If he's smoking a cigar, if he's just like dancing on the sidelines, if he's just walking through a tunnel, it doesn't matter if he's sitting behind a desk next to like rich eyes or whatever. Ed Reed always looks sweet as hell. It's his beard. He's got that beautiful salt and pepper. Yeah. I would never dye my hair. So Hank, full final thoughts on the game. Moving on. Good game.

Tough loss. Excited to play him in the playoffs. There you go. I have noticed that Stephen Belichick is getting a shit load more FaceTime on the cameras. This is calling his place. What's going on with that? He's allegedly calling players. His reports coming out of New England that he is actually the defensive playcaller and not Mayo because him and Mayo are so close. OK. Bealom is out there.

Every time Brett Bealom, I see him on the sideline. I just chuckle a little. Yeah. I don't know what he's doing. He's like mimicking everyone else to try to try to get in the good graces of Bill Belichick. You know, who's really, really good, though, on the Raven side is Greg Roman, their offensive coordinator. He is really good.

He was the coordinator for Kaepernick back in San Francisco when he had those like two electric years back to back. Should the Raven sign Kaepernick? They probably well, they've got RG3. That would be something if they had like RG3. I think so. I'm not going to fact check that. But yeah, he definitely is. And the cool thing about Greg Roman is he installs these offenses

that are kind of college like and like very, very flashy. But he looks like Rex Ryan's lawyer is the best way to put it. He's got that mullet going. He's got the gray hair. And then he brought out his own chain at the end of the game. He had this chain that was tucked in that he brought out. And this is like this is my victory chain. I like that. I like that.

Chains are back. OK, let's get into the rest of the games. We'll start with the London game. Texans Jaguars. So I think I'm officially off the early London game. I hate it. I'm over. I'm over it. It always stinks and it always feels like it's almost a burden. And I love football so much, but it is doesn't it feel like a burden? It's like Sunday morning, you need to get your wits about you.

And then you're sitting there watching a shitty game that you don't really want to watch. And if they had just stuffed it into the regular slate, it would feel a lot more normal. But man, I don't know something about it. I just just put it in the one o'clock. They need to do it once a year. Yeah, it's great to have once a year as something new

to spice things up a new position to try once in a while with your NFL. If you get tired of the same old, same old, I kind of tend to agree with you. Sunday morning is when you wake up. And if there are any chores that you have to do around the house, if there's some obelos you got to do, you have to take the dog. I there was no window virtually for me to let Leroy out. No, I had to wait until afternoon today to go outside and he didn't care because he was sleeping the whole time.

But yeah, it was it is getting to be a handful. And I don't mind sacrificing my Sundays for the NFL. Are you guys? No, I'm being honest. I'm being an honest person. I've realized this this morning. I love it. I love it once a year when it gets to the third. Here's the thing.

If you're going to have the Jaguars play in their annual London game, it should be the first one. They should kick off London NFL season with Jaguar. It's also the this game sucked. That was part of it. It sucked. So I was watching it and being like, why am I watching this? This game is terrible.

But I wish it would just be sandwiched in with all the other ones because then it doesn't feel as terrible when you have standalone games that suck, they really kind of ruin your mood, especially when you lose a bet to and you start the day off. Oh, and one of your like, fuck, this sucks. Like now I got to dig out of a hole. But I I'm just being honest, Hank. I think people enjoy our honesty.

If I were to be dishonest, I'd be like, I love football at all hours. I I prefer not to have them. The London game started 9 30 anymore. I would I would absolutely rather have the London game be played on either a Saturday, yes, or a Tuesday night. You know, a Saturday because college football is wall to wall. But maybe Saturday is when we get later in the season, but then they'll be travel things.

I just I need my Sunday mornings to get my mind right. I take a walk. I listen to Nora Jones. I get I let my mind chill for a minute to win run through your hair a little bit. And I was just watching Gardner Minch. You suck. So that's the big story coming out of this credit to your Gardner Minch you for making an easier decision for Doug Brown.

He's such a team player. I like I'm going to end the game on three consecutive turnovers. So that that's the last thing Maron saw. And he gets to just say, I'm going back to Nick Foles. So he had four turnovers total. Nick Foles is supposed to be back week 11. I think this is a no brainer. You have to start Nick Foles.

And that's not saying Gardner Minch you isn't a quarterback in the NFL going forward, but you have money invested in Nick Foles. You're four and five. And we'll get to this later because the AFC playoff picture, there are a bunch of teams still alive. And the Jags are one of them. And I think Gardner Minch you like made it so we've said this all all season along with Gardner Minch you basically hope he either plays so well that it's

an easy no doubter or he shits the bed right before Nick Foles came back. And guess what? He shit the bed right before Nick Foles came back. So if you're Doug Maron, you have to start Nick Foles. I think I think he will. If I were Doug Maron, I would it would be a tough decision, though. No, I don't think it is because of the money aspect that we were talking about. No, here's why it's not a tough decision in my mind, because you basically had

Gardner Minch you look good for a while. So if you go to Nick Foles, Gardner Minch you is still commodity that you could trade potentially or make him the starting quarterback of the Jags next year. Nick Foles needs to come back, look good, and then you can trade either or. So you can then make the pick. If Nick Foles doesn't come back and look good, if you sit him, it's going to be really hard to go to move on from him. And now you have, I think it's $33 million in dead cap space next year.

To Nick Foles. So you basically have to get, you have to like raise both of their stocks simultaneously and benching Gardner Minch you right now would actually raise his stock because he was that bad. I'm just going to miss Gardner Minch you just that I would rather an NFL that has Gardner Minch you starting on one that doesn't. But I can see your point because if you are still trying to make the playoffs, you could probably say Nick Foles might give you your best hope to make the

playoffs this year and they have a schedule. They do. They could they could win out. They have atcults at Titans, Bucks, Chargers, Raiders, Falcons, Colts. So there's wins there. Yes. They and they're four and five right now. They I think nine and seven will get you in that sixth spot in the AFC.

It's going to be a lot of teams. But Nick Foles is the guy you need to have go do that. Now, on the other side of the ball, you had a quarterback to Sean Watson that is playing as good as as anyone in the NFL right now. I have a bone to pick with him, though. Yeah. He said after the game, he credited Popeye's new chicken sandwich, the return of the chicken sandwich for helping him play better.

But here's the thing, it wasn't back until today. So either one to Sean Watson is a liar. No. Or two, he's been hoarding chicken sandwiches, which is even worse because he hasn't been sharing those with other Houston athletes like Justin Verlander who need them. No, I think what he's saying is it's his victory sandwich. So he wasn't going to eat one unless they won.

Oh, he was saying that that was his motivation. That was going to be the first dangling on a stick. Yeah, when he got back, that was going to be the first meal he eats. So OK, that would make more sense. Is the Texans defense better without JJ? What people are asking? I'm not necessarily asking, but I've heard more turnovers earlier. They had more.

They they forced more turnovers than points given up. Hmm. Hmm. Yeah. So JJ, you can talk about your team winning. Yeah. So he was on Twitter and he was like, I don't know what the rules are telling me that I am and am not allowed to say right now. But I would rather have nine cups of coffee than three cups of coffee. That's when they were up nine to three.

And so JJ was like talking about gambling. Yeah, I think he was confused that you cannot bet on your team, but you can talk about your team winning. Yes, I think JJ was probably under the influence of some post-surgery pain medications. And JJ, it's kind of a bad influence to be tweeting while under the influence, bro. Get better soon, JJ. All right. Next up, we got red skins bills.

Oh, you have one more thing. Should we put a done chain on the Jaguars yet? No, we just talked about how they have a winnable schedule. OK, OK. Yeah. No, and Nick Falls is going to come back. They have a bye week. They are not done. OK. They can absolutely still get back into it.

Redskins bills. So Dwayne Haskins. Not horrible. He didn't turn the ball over. Yeah, he almost did. It was a win. No, no, listen, we got to say this about when you're playing in Buffalo. It was a windy, windy day and having no turnovers against the wind is very, very impressive.

He did. He had one one time where he almost dropped the ball. Basically, no one was even near him and he fumbled the ball in his own hands and then recovered it and then started high stepping like kind of kind of like when your dog eats the trash and is like, what, that wasn't me trying to like, maybe maybe get something else going on. Like, let's let's talk about something else.

Let's talk about the high step, not the fact that I can't even hold on the ball when no one's near me. I thought I thought it was more like when you trip accidentally and then you start jogging afterwards to pretend that you didn't trip. Yes, he was just like, no, I'm just it's like I'm playing basketball. I'm doing a little skip to my Lou out here. It was James asked, James asked, but his hands are big enough to recover from that. I've got a couple of fun stats about Redskins.

I know it. I know which one you're going to say. So they had nine points today. They've had three touchdowns in their last 24 quarters of football. In addition to that, over their last six games, they've only scored one touchdown against a team that's not the Dolphins. Yeah, they haven't scored a touchdown in 13 quarters and scored a touchdown three straight weeks. And they I'm addicted to I have a new addiction on Twitter

and we'll get to it with the Jets game too. I'm addicted to terrible teams tweeting out when they score field goals down by a lot. It's so awesome. The Redskins were smart enough to only do it once on Sunday. So they had three field goals. They only did it for the second field goal when I think it was 17 six. But the replies to field goals when a team is down and terrible and hasn't scored a touchdown in three weeks, they're just they're basically

it's roast me going on roast me like, hey, everyone come show up and roast the fuck out of me. I think for the Redskins, there's such a poorly run organization that their kicker probably is the one that runs their social media. So he has to get his flex off. They're getting wise to it. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, three field goals, which is better than zero field goals against the Niners.

But they they didn't score a touchdown again. This time they didn't cover, though, while not scoring a touchdown. So you could say that it's trending in a bad direction. Counterpoint is Callahan's run the ball. Yeah, Adrian Peterson. There's no one who has benefited more from a coach change than Adrian Peterson because Bill Callahan's like, hey, let's just run it with AP. He had a 2012 ask AP game where he had over 100 yards

rushing in the first half and was just running all over everyone. So he's going to get like four more contracts just from the fact that Bill Callahan's a coach. I don't know. The thing is, it's yeah, he does the thing is so it's so pointless for the Redskins to be running Adrian Peterson because they're not going to resign them. Someone else is going to resign them after this. They've got young running back.

I don't know if anyone would. Yeah, somebody might. But why is it pointless? Because it doesn't make sense to be just like hammering Adrian Peterson. It's not good for him. It's like a 95 year old winning the lottery. But are you saving him for anything? Not really saying the Redskins aren't doing the Redskins are not

being morally correct here by basically running Adrian Peterson in the ground. And and that's weird. How they should make a switch from from Adrian Peterson. Yeah, I mean, I don't see I the of course, they're running them into the ground. Yeah. And you know what? I think that's what Adrian Peterson wants. He does. That's why he wants to play football. He wants to play football until he can't physically run anymore.

I'm just saying you might want to give the ball to a different player or team, somebody that might might stick around. Oh, Bill Callahan is running in offense. You know what? He's 88 years ago. The last time that's that's as long as the Redskins have been around is 88 years and they've never had three straight weeks. That's growing a touchdown. He should just embrace this and just run the single wing.

Yeah, just say fuck it. Why not? Shout out to Devin Singletary because he's a dude for the bills. Motor is his nickname. Also five seven. So he's one of our new like short Kings. Yeah, short King running backs. He's taking the reins from Frank or officially and he was awesome.

Yeah, he was really good. Josh. Good job by the bills. You needed a comeback game where you beat a really bad team soundly and they did that. I think that I mean, the bill's defense is still really, really, really good. Again, like it's it happened last week with the Eagles when Miles Sanders is running all over them. Adrian Peterson was there was a few times where he was just like running wide open and no one was tackling him. So I think the bill's defense is good, but I'd have concerns.

Good, really good defenses don't give up like 40 yard runs. They just don't. So I think that's a little bit of a difference. Still, I think the bills are they're going to be that team that will be solidified in the wildcard spot in like three weeks, I think. Yeah. All right. Barstle gold, Barstle gold.com slash PMT. You can watch us right now. Barstle gold.com slash PMT. Next up, we have the Vikings in the Chiefs.

This was the classic backup team win where everyone on the Chiefs, if you read their quotes after they're like, this was just a good old fashioned team win. And you need one of these when my home's out again and the Chiefs had lost three in a row at home. So losing four in a row would have been really, really bad. And guess what? You had Kirk Cousins, the stat stuffer show up and had throw three touchdowns. But if you watch this game, he fucking stinks.

Yeah. Here's a little again. Here's a little fun stat from Evan Kaplan. Kirk Cousins when trailing in the fourth quarters of Vikings quarterback lost at Chiefs, lost at Paris, lost at Packers, lost for Paris, lost at Seahawks, lost at Patriots, lost at Paris, lost for Saints, lost at Rams, lost for Spills. And he tied the Packers once. He's 10 in one. That's a little crown jewel for Kirk Cousins.

And you know what's really spectacular is the Chiefs won this game on daylight savings times day when Andy Reed had an extra hour of clock to mismanage. True, which is like playing J.R. Smith on four 20. This is like Andy Reed's kryptonite and they managed to pull it off. We we do not Kirk Cousins. He had the ball. I think he actually, if you had to ask yourself, starting quarterbacks,

who is the guy that you at least want to have the ball in the fourth quarter to bring a team back to win? I actually think it's Kirk Cousins. And I know people are probably listening to this right now. They're like, dude, you were from Mr. Risky. I actually think Mr. Risky would be better in the two minute offense than Kirk Cousins. Well, he put up the only time he actually is good is when they're down trying to come back. Kirk Cousins, he had the ball twice at the end of the game, three and out, three and out

and not even close. And he also had one of the most hilarious Kirk Cousins plays where he slid with no one around him on a third and six, two yards short. Like no one was going to touch him. And he slid two yards short of the first down and had to punt. That should be that should count as an interception. I mean, that's Kirk Cousins for you. There's a reason why he's gotten with the franchise tag twice.

And then he got $90 million guaranteed. He knows how to protect himself. He's I'll put it this way. He is in no danger of having the little more Jackson tag put on. I was like a quarterback that will be injured at some point. Andy Reed deserves more credit for being one of the best coaches in the NFL, probably NFL history. I hope he wins the Super Bowl at some point because this is the 11th

season where he's won a game with multiple quarterbacks. He made Matt Moore look good. Like this is what this is a classic case of coaching Matt matters because you have a guy Matt Moore who has not played. He started five games since 2011. He retired last year. He's gone. He wasn't in the NFL and he was on the Dolphins before that and terrible.

And he looks halfway decent with Andy Reed as coach. He's not he's not incredible. After the after the touchdown at Tyree Kill, there was a lot of tweets being like Patrick Mahomes system QB. System QB. Skip Bayless. That's when you know you're doing good enough to the system work. Yep.

Skip Bayless. I think Skip Bayless said he did the old I'm not going to say it, but Matt this offense looks better with Matt Moore than it did with Patrick Mahomes. And then he didn't say it though. He didn't say it though. And then Patrick Mahomes came sprinting out at the end of the game. So it looked like he was going to give a chest bump to Harrison Bucker. Yeah.

And Bucker pulled up at the last second, which is probably pretty smart for him to do. By the way, we don't laugh enough about the fact that the guy's name is Harrison Bucker. Harrison Bucker. There's a kicker named Bucker and he's good. Yep. It's ridiculous. Also not not only Andy Reed's offense,

but having Tyree Kill helps out a lot. Yep. Because I haven't seen a small guy play that big in a long long time. It's like Santana Moss back in the day. That was a real nice cliche right there. Small guy plays real good. He plays big. He plays big.

He does play big. He plays a lot bigger than his size. He does. Actually don't think so. I think it's the opposite. I think he's so fast. He doesn't play big. He's so fast.

No, it's both. He does play big because he times his jumps just perfectly. It's really good to last like step or two when the ball's about to land and like a cornerback's jumping up for it. He'll take a little cut to the inside and step in front of him and grab it. It's incredible watching him. Did you think it was fucked up him showing up his talent? No, I think it was awesome.

I think it was fucked up. I was a running back, but it was awesome. He outran his running back to the end zone despite spotting him about a 10 yard head start. And earlier in the week, I think it was Miko Hardman was saying that he's faster than Tyreek Hill. And so Tyreek was like, I'm going to show off, put something on tape for you guys to watch. I kind of, I was thinking like kind of a drunk high idea when I watched that. I was like, why don't they just have Tyreek Hill play safety in like end of game situations

when you just need to chase like he could run down a hook and ladder like four different times. He run down anyone. Yeah. Yeah. Right. He could just zigzag around the field just going after every single person. I would much rather have him than Rob Gorkowski playing safety. True.

Okay. Speaking of the dolphins, let's go to the Jets dolphins game. Say something nice about the dolphins. They won a football game. Brian floor has got a Gatorade bath. It was incredible. Dolphins fans were partying the team that is trying to tank one a game and that speaks all to how bad the Jets are. Holy shit.

They're bad, really bad. They're fans traveled well though. There were so many fans at the game that were just staring at disbelief like I can't believe. They yelled, they had a legitimate fire gaze chant. Yeah. In Miami. Adam Gaze.

Which actually could have been a Miami chant just like out of habit. Right. Right. Now that I'm thinking about it. It's just people in Miami that don't that are such bad sports fans that they don't know that they no longer have Adam Gaze as their head coach. Yes. That's actually a good possibility.

And the Jets this week we're talking to the Steelers about possibly trading Levy on Bell back to the Steelers. Right. So things are just the wheels are off. The wheels are off in New York. Well, Adam Gaze is going to get fired this week. Yes. Of course he is because the Jets entire system makes no sense at this point because

they have a system. Well, barely, but they have a quarterback that the GM didn't draft and the coach didn't sign off on. Right. They have a coach that the GM was hired afterwards. So the GM didn't pick the coach and he didn't pick the quarterback and the coach didn't pick the quarterback. So so they all hate each other.

It's basically no one. No one will defend anyone in that building. And I would assume Joe Douglas would be the last man standing because he usually works. The GM has the longest leash in these situations. You've got to give him a few drafts. Adam Gaze has probably gone after this year because Joe Douglas didn't pick him. And then Sam Donald, I don't, I don't understand how this guy beat the Cowboys because what we've seen since he is football follies.

He's old school football follies. The safety that the Jets took today needed the Yackity sacks music because it was so amateurish. And the, I don't understand why they also don't just run that we've talked about this before, but the script, Sam Donald looks awesome for the first 15 plays every single game and then it all falls apart. And I saw this Adam Gaze in the last 11 games that he's coached. He's scored 10 touchdowns offensive.

He, but he's a quarterback whisper. That's the thing he's, he's, he's, he made Peyton Manning awesome. That's right. Yeah. It was Peyton Manning. And then he had like a good season with Jay Cutler too. Oh my God. Yes, he did.

I actually wanted him as the Bears coach for a while. I was like, yo, you got to pay Adam Gaze because you can't let him walk out that door. Woof. Is it the cocaine eyes? The cocaine eyes on Adam Gaze, they just, they don't quit. He's got these big pupils that are always darting all around the place. He was dead in the water after that opening press conference when, when they brought him out and he was just like staring at invisible mosquitoes buzzing around his face.

That's not a face that can work in New York. I actually think if you're looking at the front office, when you've got all these different people that are all blaming each other, who the last person standing is going to be is probably going to be mostly based around what Mike Francesa says or what, what talk radio says in New York. He doesn't have that poll anymore. I don't know. The sports not, hey, he's not number one anymore.

Can't bless you. He's not number one anymore. All right. That's true. Someone's going to probably get mad at us for that, but it's facts or facts. The other guy, I don't know what the other guy, how bad did he lose by? Who's the other guy? Okay.

Michael K. He lost by a lot, I think. So I mean, the pope is done. This is what or finished. This is what the pope, this is what the pope was, was made to do though, is to talk about the mess that is the New York Jets. Adam Gaze. After you imagine Mike Francesa, if every team in New York was playing very,

very well all the time. No, I don't think you know what to talk about. No. Adam Gaze afterwards said, it's the NFL man, you can't be embarrassed by this shit by talking obviously about giving the dolphins a team that is actively tanking their first victory of the year. I would say you actually can be, you can definitely be embarrassed by how bad your football team is.

I think that's actually a very common emotion that people who aren't high on whatever he's high on have like, Hey, severe embarrassment that I'm this bad at my job. I want to take it back because I don't want to say that he's on cocaine because it doesn't seem like it's cool enough to do cocaine. No, people don't invite him to the Coke. No, definitely. I think Adam Gaze is just high on his own brain.

I think that his own brain is just like a natural fucked up mix of Sudafed and like just like biker speed. He's probably high on imposter syndrome. He's like, how did I get here? How did they hire me? How did someone else hire me after I did that? And yeah, he did go to the playoffs with Miami, which is crazy. Didn't he?

No, I don't think so. Did he? What was the year that they know that was they beat the Patriots? Yeah, they floored it with the playoffs. Yeah, they were like eight and eight. Maybe I think I kind of agree with you because if you just take a normal person with no discernible talent and keep telling them that they're good at something and giving them millions and millions of dollars while they keep

failing, eventually your brain is just you're going to be on LSD, like a natural form of LSD the entire time. Like what the fuck is going on? Your eyes. What's going on? I am a coach right now in the professional national football. Again. Again?

Okay. I guess I'm living my life in the Truman show. How does this keep happening? Let's just, we should just tell Adam Gase like, yeah, bro, this is the Truman show. Yeah. There are cameras where we've been watching you your entire life. We've, it's a social experiment to see how you'd react. And you know what?

You reacted in a very entertaining way for all of us. So thank you for keeping us entertained for the last 25 years. My question is, and I love to do this to put Jets fans on the spot here. So you beat the dolphins. So you now are second to worst record in the NFL because the Bengals still have no wins. But you have one win. The dolphins have one win and the dolphins have the tie breaker to be, you know, the third pick or whatever.

Am I missing someone? Wait, the Redskins. Oh yeah. The Redskins have one win too. Okay. So do the Redskins and Jets play each other later? Yeah. They play coming off the bye week for the skins too.

If the Jets were somehow to get the first pick, do they take to a I love doing this because now when you have a quarterback that is everyone saying is the clear number one, you can basically just like put it to fans and be like, Hey, Tua, would you drop everything? I think you would. I think you'd, Sam Donald, I don't know what's happening with him. He doesn't look like a quarterback anymore. I don't think they'd take Joe Burrow because Joe Burrow looks like a skinnier version of Sam

Donald. Yeah. They look too much alike to have on the same roster. I think I would. Yes. You got, Hey, you got to get star power. You got to get that name that pops in the Big Apple, baby. Start trading everyone.

All right. Let's go to the next game. The Bears Eagles. Let's talk about the Bears. So first half, first half stats. Let's do it. 20 plays. Uh-huh.

Nine total yards. 1.8 yards per completion. 0.4 yards per play. 0.4. 0.4 yards per play at halftime. That is what like 1.25 feet. They had one, one, one passing yard in the first half. A yard.

A yard. A yard. One yard of passing. A single yard. They had the fewest yards in half in 40 years. So they had, they had one yard of passing. A yard. Not dead.

Let alone many yards. A yard. Eh. Ah. Eh. And yard. Oon yard. Oon only yard.

Solamente trace. This is the, this is the ghost or like, Matt Nagy's probably doing this to the pipes. Like stop talking about my shitty football team that I can't coach confidently. They had, wait, so I know that the passing often sucks. But, I know, I know, I know. A yard.

A yard. I have, I have, I have a staff, I this is a stat from myself because I, I am a masochist and I was like, you know what, I'm going to go look it up. There were seven teams this week that had more yards on their first play from scrimmage than the Bears did in the entire first half. It's not great.

Seven. Nine yards of total. Nine. No. Nine. A. Single yard. A pass.

Basically like one average depth, Dame Lillard three point shot of offense in the entire first half. Oh my God. A yard. That's not, that's not good. But spin zone, they turned around the second half. They almost won.

I'm so, so sick of this team right now. I don't know what you, you have to put in Chase Daniel. You have to. This is, because here's the thing. Matt Nagy does not trust Mitch Trebisky. Matt Nagy doesn't think Mitch Trebisky can make any kind of throw. And whether he can or can't, if your coach thinks he can,

sounds like a good coach, but if your coach thinks he can, he's going to coach that way. And it's absolute coward play calling. Like I would rather lose and have Mitch Trebisky throw the ball down the field 40 times and throw five interceptions, then get a yard in the first half. A yard.

If they had just taken the knee, like for the first three snaps and then punted every possession, that would have been better. Because then guess what? Your offense has rested for the second half. And my point from last week proved to be exactly correct. The offense, the Bears offense is so bad,

it has murdered the Bears defense. Because when you look at the second half, when they come back in that game, the offense started to look alive. Mitch started to make some throws and the defense started to look alive because they're like, Hey, we actually have like a team on the other side of the ball

that can maybe help us out a little bit. And it's complimentary football. It's a fucking mess. The only positive I took away from this game was that Matt Nagy didn't say anything stupid after. He just said it sucks. And he didn't miss a field goal. And he didn't miss a field.

He just said it sucks, which you know what? He's learning because I was expecting him to be like, I thought our play calling was good in the first half. And you know, a couple of misses here and there and we would have had maybe two yards. Yeah. Well, why don't you, why don't you just let Mitch play for the rest of the season because you're not going to go anywhere.

You put the, you put the hashtag done on them, which there's no coming back. But I think you have the pro, I think the problem is, is the defense going to get too demoralized? I think there is that problem of like guys quit it. Like guys are going to quit on this team because it's such a joke. It is such, such a joke.

I, how do you get one yard? It's pretty tough to do. How do you get one yard passing? I don't get it. It's crazy. Matt Nagy does not know how to, he needs to stop calling football games. He needs to hand over the play calling.

It's not for him. It's not working. I like everything is broken. It's not working to do the same thing week in week out is fucking insane. That's it. You also are missing Jordan Howard a little bit, I think. Yeah. Jordan Howard revenge game.

Good for Jordan Howard. Honestly, good for him. I'm not, I have nothing against Jordan Howard. He got a raw deal. He was awesome for the Bears when he was a rookie in his second year. He got a raw deal. I, this is, this is somehow this offense is worse than John

Fox's offense. It's gone backwards in time. I mentioned that because I was at the Eagles Bears game two years ago when they lost 31 to three to the Eagles. And that first half made me think it was a worse Bears team than that one. Well, that team was terrible. They did go backwards on three of their first six drives

in the game. Unbelievable negative yards. They're so bad. And the Eagles credit to them. I mean, they held tough. I don't know. The Bears could have won the game too. That's the craziest part.

They actually were in the game. Matt Nagy didn't do his math right, which shouldn't surprise anyone. But he wasn't able to correctly figure that one out when they were down. I think it was 19, nothing. And they scored a touchdown and he kicked an extra point. So kept it at a 12 point.

12 points in 11. Yeah. That way if you score two touchdowns, you win. Yeah. Right. And you miss an extra point, which you might do. Right. That's probably what he was thinking actually.

He's like, we're probably going to miss one of these two. They're done to fire. They're done. They're so done. Hashtag very done, done, chained, everything, all of it. But shout out to O'Donnell. He had a 72 yard punt today. Yeah.

Great. That's pretty cool. Shout out to him. He did. Again, the silver lining is Matt Nagy said nothing stupid afterwards. So we're making baby steps in the right, you know, direction here.

All right. Seeky question promo code take seeky promo code take. You get $10 off PFT. Yeah. Can you name the holder for the Indianapolis Colts? The holder for the Colts. The guy that did laces in. Yes.

Yeah. No, I don't know who it is. Unbelievable name. His name is Pepeck. Jim or say the third. Rigoberto Sanchez. Oh, yeah. That's pretty sweet.

Rigoberto. Rigoberto Sanchez. That's pretty fucking awesome. I have a theory. Laces in. Rigoberto. I have a theory. You ready for this?

Yes. Adam Vinitieri has been missing on purpose for the last four weeks because he knows that the Patriots are not happy with their kicking situation and they'll eventually sign him for the playoff. That's great. I actually had to do your pod segment for this game as well. And that was that.

Do you think it's going to help his chances of going in the Hall of Fame as a Patriot because he's been missing so many kicks as a Colt? Wait, but he made a game winner last week. He did. That was a mistake. OK. He meant to get that one.

Yeah, he was trying to hit. He told Rigoberto. He's like, hey, I got an extra couple cannolis for you if you hold it laces in. Dude, Rigoberto, man, tough, tough to be, and tough to have that name because everyone's going to remember it. If your name was Dan Sanchez or, you know,

Mark, well, no, Mark Sanchez, we would know. Steve Sanchez, we'd be like, OK, whatever. Rigoberto. I'll remember that name forever. Yeah, Rigoberto. I want to give a shout out to Mike Tomlin for never learning anything about anything and adapting his in-game coaching strategy,

because he kept challenging passenger appearances. He loves it. And he loves it so much. Like the mouse. We were talking about that when we were interviewing Matt Patricia, but he's like the mouse that keeps getting shocked when it goes for the cheese. And he just keeps going for the cheese.

I love it. It's like the Steelers don't switch up. Their ownership doesn't move on from shitty coaches. Well, Mike Tomlin doesn't move on from shitty coaching decisions. It's going to work eventually. And guess what? Winning ugly is still winning because that was an ugly,

ugly win. Mason Rudolph. Not so great. Jacobi Brissette. That sucked. But I think he's fine, right? Like he's going to be week to week. It's an MCL sprain.

MCL-ish. MCL-ish. You Brian Hoyer. It's pretty much a sprain MCL. Brian Hoyer's first pass was a touchdown. You should just bring. I feel like Brian Hoyer has that. He's like he's like a really good middle reliever where

he can, he can give you like eight pitches to get one guy out. He's a specialist. Yes. So bring him in. He's a third quarter Pittsburgh Steelers specialist. Bring him in and just be like, Hey, you're in. Jacobi Brissette's hurt. And then Jacobi Brissette comes back in.

Yeah. So just for like, you know, three plays and he'll give you everything and then he'll throw a pick six to make a Fitzpatrick. By the way, shout out to the Steelers. That was a hell of a trade. Yeah. Like that's, you don't think that like they gave up a one, which was what making Fitzpatrick was.

And now I've been hot on the Steelers are going to maybe make the playoffs. They have, so it looks at their schedule. They're four and four right now. They have, um, they have games they should win. Browns, Bengals, Browns, Cardinals, Jets. If they can win the games, they should win those five games. All they got to do is go one and two against the Rams, Bills and Ravens, and they would win 10 games.

So yeah. I could, I guess, bend down for the season. Yeah. Yeah. He might come back. I think he's done for the season. No, he is. He is.

Yeah. Have you seen that? The Mega Man brace that he's had on his shoulder? If they are in the, if they're like in the wildcard picture, he will show up week 17 and be like, put me in coach. Yeah. I'm like, that's not how rosters work, Ben. They're like, Ben, you can't move your arm.

He throws his arm and hurts it again. He's got to get surgery again. You haven't jacked off in two months. So you can't do this. By the way, stitches like pop because he's like, I got this coach on Monday night football. I, I noticed and I can't believe it took me this long to notice it, but he looks exactly like the dude from Epic Meal Time. You remember that guy, the bacon strips and bacon strips guy?

Bacon. Looks exactly like Ben Rothesburg. Yeah. Yeah. I could see the Steelers making the playoffs. I could. Their defense is very good and Mason Rudolph is not very good, which it's almost nice. The Steelers in a weird way this season is going to be good for them because they could

still make the playoffs, which would be a miracle given how they started. Actually, Mike Tomlin said we will work forever trying to get that September stink off of us, which like really. Yeah. I know it's all about the September. Forever. But if they, so if the Steelers make the playoffs or just miss the playoffs and Mason Rudolph is the same guy he's been the last few weeks, it's actually a great season for them because

not only did they show that their defense is real and they can, you know, they had a season that was lost, but then came back, but they also probably figured out Mason Rudolph isn't the guy of the future, which is better than letting Ben retire and finding it out. Yeah. I mean, that's one of the situations where we could have just told you that he wasn't a guy but looking at his face, bad face. He's got a big face. It's so big.

It's big, but it also looks like a six year old's face. He looks like the kid. It's a cartoon. That was like running around with the Kool-Aid circle around his lips the entire time. Huge face. Yeah. Big face. Big ass face.

Not the guy. Not not a bad player, but he's not the guy. He's not the guy. He's a guy with a with a lowercase G. I actually was going to do like a whole statistical analysis of why they should start duck, but no, it's just back me up. It just boils. So shout out, Doc.

Here's, here's this statistical analysis. You ready? He went to still on sale. I thought through four touchdowns against the charges. I look back and it's like, nope, that's not here. Here's the same matrix and why you start duck. He didn't miss a single shot playing big buck hunter at Dave and Buster's. That's true.

That's pretty fucking cool. That's true. We still got to get duck on. All right. Before we get to the next game, dig into a fiesta of flavor with the new burrito bowls from Duncan. They'll add some spice and flavor to an otherwise average morning full of delicious ingredients like eggs, cheese, red peppers, onions, and either fire roasted veggies or

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Okay. Titans Panthers. I didn't care for this game. I didn't care for it either. I did not care for this game. That's all I'm going to say. I didn't really care for it. Christian McCaffrey is fast.

It was just boring. And then Dory Jackson is also fast. The Titans. That's my analysis right there. It's like I just named the two fastest players on the field for today's game. And that's really the only thing that you need to know. Here's, here's I'm going to say something nice about the Titans. They kind of let you know pretty quickly if it's going to be bad Titans or good Titans.

So you can sort of tune it out. Like you knew it was bad Titans almost instantly. Ryan Tannehill turns out when he can't do drives of seven yards and 10 yards for touchdowns. Isn't that good? So we got bad Titans and there's really nothing worse than watching bad Titans. No, it's bad Titans. And as far as the Panthers go, really the only interesting storyline besides Christian McCaffrey being really, really good is Cam Newton's got a case of mystery foot.

Old fashioned case of mystery foot where it's hurt, but he doesn't need surgery. But they don't know how long it's going to take for him to stop hurting. This is every Cam Newton injury. Yeah. So he's just going to have a case of a bad foot for a while. So Kyle Allen is probably not the future in North Carolina, but he's not terrible. They're going to go like seven and nine. He might even go.

No, they're bet. They're going to go better than that. These are two teams that are going to stick around in that graphic that they show that has the whole playoff. They're going to be in the hunt, just kind of hanging out, non-threatening, just kind of pissing you off, sticking around off to the side. It's like those are five and three. They're going to go better than seven and nine there.

They might go to the playoffs. Fuck it. They might go to the playoff in the NFC. Yeah, because the Vikings are now the Vikings are frauds. There are frauds agreed. The Packers though are the Packers frauds. We can get to them later. No, no, no, they'll win the division.

But I'm saying like, if you, if you look at it, that, that second wild card is going to come down to the Panthers, the Rams. I'm giving the Seahawks a second wild card. So the Panthers, the Rams and the Eagles and the Vikings and Panthers could definitely be the best team of that group. That'd be something. They could. They absolutely could.

And I'm sure they've got games against the Falcons left. Probably play the Falcons like, has the equipment fired? No, I was just, I was thinking that earlier today. I was like, he certainly has been fired at some point this week, but he hasn't. I just realized that's like, oh yeah, the Falcons didn't play this week. I looked it up because I was like, they're on their bye week. So they obviously made that move last Monday when I wasn't paying attention at some point. Arthur Blank might be dead.

He's playing the respect card a little too much. Like the team respects Dan. I respect Dan. He's a family man. You know, we have so much respect for him, dude. He stinks. Move on. We wanted to wait until November hits that he and his family could get health coverage

for the end of the month. Yeah, we're trying to get his kids all the way up to the Christmas break. Shut up. Just get them out of here. Fire day. It's almost, you know what? I would say it's worse for Dan Quinn to have spent this past week just sitting by his telephone being like every time he gets, he's getting the phantom vibrations in his leg.

Yeah. I think that is game planning for the next day. Yeah. No, he probably hasn't even been game playing because he's like, there's no chance that I'm around next week. So tomorrow morning he's going to go in the office be like, holy fuck, I'm way behind on my week. Yeah, that's exactly right.

I would definitely rather have gotten fired than have to sit there all week being like, so when are they going to fire me? This kind of sucks. The Panthers do have to play the Falcons two more times. So the Panthers might go with and then Cam Newton will probably make it all about himself and try to take over the team back. Oh, wow. Like in week 17.

Listen to you. I'm going to say it. I'll say it with his hieroglyphics Instagram stuff and all that. I do want to, I want to see him on the sidelines wearing his, his normal street clothes though. All right. So the Panthers have two games left against the Falcons and a game left against the Saints. So that's eight wins guaranteed. They've eight wins.

So they basically Saints. What is the guarantee? Oh, sorry. I didn't mean Saints. Redskins. Sorry. Okay. Yeah.

Falcons. That's right. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I don't know why I say it. Saints is right before that.

So it's Falcons two against Falcons, one against the Redskins. They have eight wins. Just need to get one more. Okay. Nine and seven could get you in there. All right. Next up, we have the Bucks and the Seahawks. Oh, Jamis.

What a great game for, I'm a Jamis believer now. Shout out to Jamis. One of one, the, the, I almost the troll account. Nope. The guy who has written a book, a 400 page book about Jamis Winston who is accused of being Jason light we mentioned on Wednesday show. Turns out he's not. He's just a Jamis believer.

He thinks Jamis is going to be a hall fame quarterback. He has all the makings for it. He has a bunch of advanced statistics that no one, if you can just look up a bunch of, make up a bunch of statistics, look up a bunch of statistics and just say them over and over. You can beat anyone in an argument. That's what this guy does. So I'm a Jamis believer.

Now I've heard that the reason why this guy is so all in on Jamis and is trying to like pump him up a little bit is because he's got a shitload of Jamis Winston rookie cards. That might be true. And which is it, which is a great, great way for him to try to pump the value on those Don Russes or whatever though they are. Let's see if he fired Jamis tweets today. They're talking about how awesome he was. But yeah, Jamis, it was a classic Jamis game where it was like he showed everything good.

And then he fumbled and he actually did get hit, but by his own lineman. No, no, the fumble. Yes. His elbow. I'm going to call it a self strip sack. He got, he got hit by it. He had a fumble lineman within it, in the elbow, but that actually is just more more proof that his hands are too small.

It was an all time Jamis Winston game too. At the end of the game when the Seahawks were attempting the winning fuel goal that eventually missed. And then at the at the first drive in overtime, he was just staring at the Jumbotron squinting. He does need contacts. He has a prescription for glass. I've done some more digging on the whole Jamis Winston narrative. He does have a prescription for him.

He wears them when he's playing baseball, but he doesn't like wearing them when he's playing football. They just need to give Jamis some fucking contacts that feel good or the rex specs. And I guarantee you his stats will pop. Does Jamis one of one have any eyeball takes? Oh, we got some stats. Stigmatism sets. You know, we have some stats.

Jamis Winston. What's a what's a and y slash a any yards, any, any average. So I guess an 8.0 a and y slash a is a very good game that most Cubies win. You need a very bad defense or bad luck to lose. Jamis Winston is nine and nine when he has an 8.0 a and y slash a or better, which is unreal, narrowly missed outing it today. He had a 7.8 and then it lists everyone's record when they have an 8.0 and it's like Matt Ryan's 23 and seven Kirk Cousins is 25 and four Russell Wilson is to 27 and three

Drew Brees, 23 and six, Tom Brady, 27 and one. So basically Jamis Winston is the unluckiest quarterback of all time. That's sad. He's incredible and his team stinks. That's what we've learned. So he just, he commits turnovers at the worst possible times just out of pure luck. Yes. So, okay.

Yeah. You know what? I'm going to go ahead and buy it. Yeah. I'm going to buy it. It sounds like this is a good stat. Eight. Was it eight in why?

Yeah. That's a lot of a and y. Jamis had his 12th career loss when having a 100 plus QBR performance today and Russell Wilson has 10. Tom Brady has nine. He plays well. They lose. He plays bad.

They lose. Okay. All right. I was hoping I'm a Jamis believer. I want the bears to get Jamis now. I swear to God, I would love that for you. I really do. I think this guy, this fucking crazy guy, Jamis one of one who has the book is title

of his book, Jamis Winston derangement syndrome, how the media causes us to overlook the start of a Hall of Fame NFL career. This guy has me convinced. Uh huh. I mean, the stats, the stats speak for themselves. So, and also Jamis is hilarious. Jamis was hilarious. You would much rather have a guy like Jamis Winston than a boring quarter.

Jamis Winston will never throw for one yard and a half. No. No. Ever. Definitely not. Now, maybe maybe if you take into account the return yards on his interception, then yes, he would throw for one yard and a half. Right.

But he will light it up and he'll just toss the ball up to your tallest receiver and he'll get at least, you know, 70 yards on one bomb like that. But he's never going to play a boring half. No. And you know what? Did you hear what he said after the game? He's an optimist too. He was talking about the glass half full.

Optometrist? No. He has an optometrist. He needs an optometrist. He has one that he ignores, but he is an optimist. He said, you might say that the glass is only half full of water, but I see the glass as being half full of water and half full of air. Whoa.

So, yeah. Someone told him that quote. He invented nanobubbles. Yeah, there it is. He reinvented nanobubbles. When in Seattle. Yeah. Speaking of nanobubbles.

So, I threw out there. The Kirk Cousins is the last guy you want to lead your team back in the fourth quarter. I think Russell Wilson is number one now in the NFL. I would agree. Like he is the guy who if you had, if you're down in the fourth, you want him to have the ball. I would agree with that. And he's just staring daggers at me right now. Hank, name one quarterback that could beat Russell Wilson when Russell Wilson has the

ball late in the fourth quarter in the game. I'm not saying all time, Hank. I'm saying right now at this present moment given they're like right now. For the listening audience, I have not done anything. I'm just sitting here smiling. You went, you went, James, looking at having a good time. Looking at having a good time. Me squint steps.

It almost seems like someone's a little guilty and they know as they're saying it that they're purposely admitting someone that is actually better than them. But why else would you ask me? You started staring daggers at me. My seat is positioned to be looking at you. You know what? For those of you at home. I have no choice.

Who might not have basketball goals. And I look at the person. You know what Hank does? If he's talking, I quote unquote stare. But I usually blink. You do stare. And then when you talk, I stare. Stare.

All right. Well, Russell Wilson has five. You know what you do? You do the dog head tilt. Like when your dog is confused about something. When we mentioned a stat that could possibly go up against Tom Brady, you hit us with the. Huh? Is the garage door open?

What is that? Is that the can opener? Human. What is that? What is that thing that's going off right now? I don't know. I think Russell Wilson was unreal though. He's unreal.

And he everything he does with his feet and then, you know, the throws. He's got a great touch. He's got great. He'll go soft. A pillow soft ball. The ball drops from the heavens. It's so awesome from the clouds. It's so awesome to watch.

He had five touchdowns today. I think that was his fifth comeback. Fourth quarter comeback this just this season. And he's got 30 total. I think that's that says it's insane. I have a take about Chris Carson. Who I like. I like Chris Carson, the running back on the Seattle Seahawks.

I think he's very good. But he is the best running back in the NFL that sucks. That will drive you insane. He's the greatest who sucks because he fumbles. I think Leonard Farnette might be in that category too now. Okay. Well, it's a it's a suck off between the two of them. No, I agree with you.

He's definitely gets more stats though. Yeah, but he sucks too. I don't know. I don't know. Chris Carson has been getting stats for the last like two years. It's just that he sucks. Yeah, he's really good, but he sucks. He fumbles the ball like so frequently.

He's got terrible, terrible ball security. But then other times he'll have excellent ball. He's just, I don't know. He's schizophrenic. I like him a lot, but he sucks. That's my stat on Chris Carson. Thank you. Okay.

That's a fair stat. I and I actually, I agree with you. I think he's in the running. I don't I'd have to do a list of guys that suck that are good. They're also good. Yeah. But yeah, he's definitely on that list somewhere. So Hank, you wouldn't take Russell Wilson in a fourth quarter drive.

No. Okay. That's fair. This was, I think. Was this a matchup of the oldest coaches that have ever faced each other? Yes, it was. Bruce Arians.

Shockingly, Pete Carroll is older than Bruce Arians. Really? Not in the liver. But yeah, I've, yeah, Pete Carroll just, he's, you know what? He just ages well. But he ages well. That's really what it is. He's just a well aging guy.

It's all that gum. It keeps his cheek muscles nice and taut. Do you know Pete Carroll's a twin? Shut up. Yeah. Identical? Yeah, I think so. That's amazing.

I'm almost positive. Yeah, I'm almost positive. Back in my CrossFit days, there was a guy at the CrossFit gym who was the son of Pete Carroll's twin. Sick brag that you did CrossFit. I did. Yeah. And he looked kind of like Pete Carroll.

Maybe it was his twin that was coaching in that Super Bowl when Russell Wilson didn't complete a fourth quarter comeback. I might have made this. Pete Carroll's old enough that his son should be a lot older than you. What? Like Pete Carroll's twin brother's son should be older than you. No. No.

It's twin's twin. If you had a twin brother, then it's his son. His twin brother could be 34. Yeah. If you had him when he was 34. Not all of us have babies when we're 34, Hank. I also might have made this up. Some of us age like a fine wine until we're at a place

in our professional and personal lives where you feel that his time just squirt went out. All right. I think I made this thing up. So we'll see. Oh yeah. No, I made it up as an older brother. But he looks just like a person.

You made it up that he had twin? Yeah. You can't do that to me. Well, I. You can't do that to me. You can't drop a fake twin. I think what happened was when I saw the picture of Pete Carroll's brother, I was like, Dan, they look like twins.

So yeah, that's fair by me, right? I don't know. You can't invent a twin out of thin air. Because you imagine if you had a twin, that would have been so cool. It would be great. Just to see him standing behind him on the side of us? I feel like that would be like the fish market and Pete Carroll as a twin coming out of commercials.

Yeah, exactly. Speaking of the fish market, how cool would that have been if they had gone to Pike Place and they were like throwing dungeness crab legs and just had James Winston intercept one and run out of the market with it? I would have liked that. I would have been pretty fun. Yes.

Like one of those sudden net football graphics over the Monday night ones. Yes. Yes. I can't find a fucking picture of Pete Carroll's brother who I think is his twin. How is this not? I think you fantasize that Pete Carroll has a twin brother,

which is kind of a cool thing. I would love it if Andy Reed had an identical twin. How cool would that be? You know, like that picture you always see of Mike Tomlin with his twin on the sidelines. Yes. Look at this young picture of Pete Carroll. I found that's funny.

That's fucking funny. It's a good looking dude. Pete Carroll. Yeah, giving off some like Jay Leno vibes in that one. Yeah, Pete Carroll is a good looking dude. I think Pete Carroll is a very good looking dude. OK, let's go to our next game. So yeah, the Seahawks.

Good job, Bucks. Although we should say if you bet on the Bucks, that's an all time loss. If you had plus four and you basically hung tough the entire game and then get the dreaded overtime touchdown scored on you, you thought that you were good. I bet on the Seahawks. So this was a lucky win.

Man, that sucks. They should actually make it so that if you score a touchdown in overtime, you just win by one. You're just saying that because you lost. No, no, no, I actually didn't have this one. But I'm saying that should be the fair way because you should never lose. If you have an underdog, you shouldn't lose in overtime.

I disagree because I had the other side. And so this is the outcome I was rooting for. So you got very lucky. As long as you as long as you say ahead of that into the game drive, like I hope they miss the field goal. So it goes in or if you declare that right and you know enough about gambling to look that far in advance that I think you're good. OK, next up we have Lions Raiders.

These are two other teams that are going to stick around in the hunt. Yeah, Matt Stafford MVP season. He actually had a good game. The Matt Patricia coach defense. Oof. Oof. That's what I did a little quick, quick search for my Lions fan friends, Detroit Don.

And people are not happy with Matt Patricia's defense. Let's just say that. Not happy at all. So you did a Twitter search for him? No, I just follow him on Twitter. OK, you just looked at what he was saying. So they're not happy. Matt Patricia has begun to struck me as a fake football guy.

He strikes me that way. Like he I think he know he loves real football guys. Hank's giving me the head guess. Former Patriots, defensive coordinator Matt Patricia. I think he likes football guys and he aspires to be a football guy. And he hangs out a lot around football. I'll put it this way. So John Gruden, he lost his virginity thinking about the Notre Dame fight

song, right? Matt Patricia lost his virginity thinking about John Gruden, thinking about the Notre Dame fight song when he lost his virginity. That's you guys. What do you mean? No, we're football guys, guys. They like us. We're not saying that we're no, Hank, that's not us.

What you're describing about Patricia is not true. A. But B, you're saying that he's not a football guy. He just he idolizes football guys. Correct. But he's not like, but no, but no, but he wants despite studying film and coaching a football team. He's working very hard to become a football guy. Big Cat and I aren't working to become football guys.

We're secure in our status as football guys, guys. But football guys, guys move. It sounds like thinking of John Gruden, thinking about Notre Dame. I I like to think about John Gruden thinking about Notre Dame while he's having sex, but I would not think about him having sex while I'm having sex. Got it. Interesting.

I got to be honest with you guys. I'm still looking for Pete Carroll's twin. It's fucking driving me insane. If you go to the search, too. And I can't find his twin. I'm just going to say that he has a twin. All right. Fine.

We'll move on. Pete Carroll has a twin. Do you care to weigh in on what Matt Patricia thinks about when he's nutting? Um, I don't know. Rockets. Can you find a picture? That's not okay.

That's David Bowie. All right. I'm sorry. I'm back on track. I'm back on track. I'm sorry. I got sidetracked. Pete Carroll's twin just totally took my brain away.

I think it was Jim Carroll like David Bowie's. I don't know. I'm I made this whole thing up. My brain is so melting from age. I type in Pete Carroll brother and then it's a Jim Carroll. I click Jim Carroll and it's just pictures of David Bowie. That's a wild wormhole. I'm not kidding.

Okay. So Matt Patricia, what was the question? What does he think about when he jerks off? No. You're wandering in like pretty late to this conversation. Hey guys, what's up? The bonafide, the core of this conversation that we're having is whether or not Matt Patricia thought about John Gruden

nutting the first time that he had sex. No. Okay. Agree to disagree. Is Matt Patricia a football guy? He is. But he's got to get more results. I don't know.

I think if I think if you if you don't win and your unit looks bad, but you also as a head coach, you do the whole. They're in the hunt. They've been robbed by the referees. You do the whole Belichick ripoff thing that he's doing. Trumpy and dresses like shit and all this stuff. I think it's bad. I think you I think you'd probably be doing that anyways.

But yes, I agree with you. I think that's bad. I think you have to have results to be a true bonafide football guy. Otherwise it's like he's based. Matt Patricia is like he's basically like I play a football guy on TV. Yes. That's what he is. Yes.

Exactly. That's what you know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? My red tables, we are now going after one of your guys. Yeah. Hank, you know what?

My red flag was your guys. After that game against the Packers that they got that the refs technically won. The Packers, I'll admit that as a good as an owner, we did not win that game. But I don't recall reading a single story about Matt Patricia sitting down at his computer and cutting together a DVD of all the missed calls and then mailing said DV to the league office. And that would be a football guy response to getting absolutely hosed by the officials.

And he didn't do it. That should be a basketball guy response. And you just foreshadowed an interview that's coming later in the week. But no, I disagree. Okay. Okay. Hey, we don't kind of get mad about all I know is what a basketball coach does. Not what no football coaches do that all the time.

The Lions suck right now on defense. Matt Stafford is I need to start a Matt Stafford one of one book, the derangement syndrome, because he's been playing out of his mind on the other side. John Gruden and Derek Carr are kind of back together. They're like about to make it official because I looked high and low and John Gruden did not compliment Matt Stafford after the game at all. He has complimented him in the past, but not after the game. So I think they're and and John or sorry, Derek Carr was like, this is just what

good coaching looks like. He played really well and the Raiders. There's something about the black hole. It's such a fucking shame that they're leaving Oakland. John Gruden gave everyone a hug after the game. It's the first time they've played there since like week two. And the Raiders, if you want to talk about teams that are going to be in the hunt, I'm looking at it though.

Raiders are in the hunt. They're going to be hanging around in the hunt because in the AFC, if you look at the AFC picture right now, it's the Patriots at the Bills, the Ravens, whoever's going to win the AFC South and the Chiefs. And that last spot has like six teams that are vying for it. The Steelers are vying for it. The Colts, the Jaguars, the Titans, the Raiders, the Chargers are back in the mix. It's actually going to be as bad as the AFC has seen this year because it's the Patriots

kind of running away with it. The AFC going down the stretch is going to have some fun games trying to get that last spot. Yeah. I think next week we'll probably see John Gruden talk a lot about Phillip Rivers though. Yeah. He's going to have a lot of really good stuff to say about it. Well, that's just respect. It was awesome seeing that graphic for the first time in the hunt and somehow every single

network got together and agreed that the terminology they would use in the hunt is in the hunt. You're in the and when that graphic shows up, that's like the first real bit of autumn. It's like autumn's here. The apple pie is in the air. It's about to be cornucopia is it's about to be snowflakes on the score bug dropping down. Yes. It's just about to get real. It's about to get real.

And by the way, I did write this down. So Matt Patricia, I don't know. This is actually more of a Daryl Bevel thing. But Gallaudet and Marvin Jones weren't on the field for their fourth downplay. How is that possible? That's not good. They threw it's like the third tight end. I don't understand how that's possible.

That's such a lion's way to lose. And I really think Matt Stafford is playing so well this year that he deserves better than what's happening with their team basically week in and week out. I just did a search for the ESPN playoff simulator. It's too early for that. I got a little over my skis with that too early. But I found a playoff predictor one where you can go ahead and do everything at the ESPN app does. And the first thing that pops up is just a button that says I'm confused that you can click on.

Immediately hammered that just having nothing to do with the website. If you've listened to this show, we are very confused about a lot of things right now. Mostly Pete Carroll's twin. Yes. Pete Carroll's twin. I think I might have made up the whole thing. I'm really, I'm really starting to doubt my own brain. All right.

Browns Broncos. It's over for the Browns. This has been a disaster of a season. I don't know. It's been worse than their worst. Like if you were a Browns fan sitting there in August and you said to yourself, how is, what's the worst case scenario? I think this might be worse because you, Odell Beckham looks like he doesn't want to be there.

The defense is bad, which the defense should have been good. They were just not tackling guys. Baker's taking a step back. Freddie Kitchens is an absolute joke of a head coach. So I don't, what do you do? What do you do if you're the Browns? You got to fire Freddie. You have to.

Freddie's got to be one and done. His face. Because I kind of, I like him as a person, but he's in way over said. I think we said last week you just need to demote him and tell him he still has his job and he's just the offensive coordinator. I think he'd be fine with that. You'd totally be fine. You'd be like, you'd be like, you're right.

I bit off more than I could chew on this one. Five trips to the red zone, one touchdown. Freddie Kitchens had the, not only the coordinator face, but he also had the rosy cheeks because it was a little cold and Denver looked even dumber than usual. And he does have that body every time. Every time I see him, his body just kind of goes out further and further from his cheek. It just doesn't stop expanding from the bottom of his jaw. Looks like he's just always wearing a Moo Moo.

Yes. I think what he needs to start doing is rocking the utility belt on the outside of the sweatshirt because it's a problem when it's just that, that taupe color that he was wearing for salute to service month, the hoodie that goes into the same color of pants. Yes. This was a bad jersey game, by the way. Awful. The fact that they didn't, no one wore what whites was so weird and just like both having,

you know, that orange brown mix. It was bad. Browns or quests too. Shepter tweeted it was like at the Browns or quests for them to wear those jerseys. Well, and then they got kicked out for wearing there or they almost kicked out for wearing the cleats. What, what was that, by the way? Odell was wearing Joker shoes in the first half and then Jarvis was wearing shoes that

were a non-regulation shade of orange. I'm a big, I've been a big like Odell fan. I think he's so talented. But man, what, like when you're bad and you're wearing Joker shoes. Yeah. You literally clown shoes. Yeah, you're a clown. He's wearing clown shoes.

Like how, if you're a Browns fan, how can you deal with that? Clowntonio Browns. That's like gaining one yard in the first half. They're the clown, clowned Lynn Browns. Clown Lynn Browns. There it is. Browns are used to it. Yeah, but they had hopes this year, which was tough.

They always have hopes. They always have hopes. Expectations are the ones. Yeah, but they usually don't really have hopes. It's so much better to live life without expectations. Usually they're just like, if we win six games, that'd be kind of cool, I guess. Yeah. Now it's like we're, if we win six games.

Bears fans or Browns fans had higher hopes going into the years. Bears. Yeah. Oh, no, you're going into this, into this year. Well, this year, Browns fans. Realistic. Like Browns fans, Browns hopes were somewhat unrealistic because they hadn't done it. Bears won the NFC North last year, but expectations are the worst because if the

Bears had just sucked last year and they sucked again this year, I've been through many bad Bears years. You just kind of just sit there and just take it. Yeah, you just fucking get punched in the face over and over and eventually your face is so numb. You don't give a fuck. Yeah. It's when you get the sucker punch that you didn't see coming.

That's when it really hurts. Agreed. Yeah. But shout out to Jermaine Whitehead because after the game, he kind of did a little misdirection. Oh, no one's going to be talking about the Browns and Freddie Kitchens and how poorly we play today because he is suspended from Twitter for threatening to shoot multiple people after the game.

Allegedly. Some people were saying that he got hacked, but being hacked would be a very convenient excuse for this because I think one of the guys was like a journalist and then some other people that were responding to me was like, show up at the Browns facility and I will shoot you. So this is a full dump. Which I mean, if you're a Browns fan, I would almost take that. It's like, yes, please.

And they're going to have winnable games down the stretch. And it's like, it's a dumpster fire. Here's Baker. You see Baker after the game. We're still Baker guys. Yeah. He shaved three times. He shaved three times today.

Three times. Hoping that it would change something. Actually, you know what? That's a great move by Baker. Colin Coward is going to say it's a clown move. I think you have to just keep changing. It's like it's basically Baker did what any fan would do, changing their position on the couch to try to get the mojo.

Yeah. And you know what? If I could grow facial hair like that, I'll just say it. I would probably shave a lot too. I would switch it up, change my mustache around. It looks awesome. Also, the fact that we're talking about him shaving, he drew a lot of attention to Movember and men's health.

Oh, so if you don't like Baker, you like cancer. Yeah. And you know what he inspired me to do? I'm doing a self-exam on my testicle right now. I don't do that. You don't have to do this. And I am cancer-free, but he might have saved my life. And if he could just save one life because he shaved his

mustache today, then good on you. We talked about... Let me check my other testicle while you're talking. We talked to... Don't do that. We talked about Mike Vrabel's wet mustache when he was standing in the rain. Baker's sad mustache.

Man, when you have a sad mustache, it's just so, so, so much significantly sadder. It just... I mean, I've had a sad mustache many times. It just... There's something about it. It's a built-in frown. And so everyone just looks in and they're like,

damn, that guy's really sad. I think... It's the difference between like... If you're just sad without a mustache, you're just a sad guy. If you're sad with a mustache, you look like your wife left you, your house is underwater, your kids hate you, your job sucks. It's the whole like...

You're playing on the Cleveland Browns. Yeah, this guy's life has fallen apart. That's what a mustache looks like when you're sad. And it's tough that he did all the GQ and modeling pictures in the pre-season because now they're getting compared like, oh, pre-season Browns. Current Browns. Damn, he memed himself.

The Tiger. You never want to meme yourself. Uh-huh. And the clothes that he was wearing after the game, somebody liking them to Home Alone, like the robbers in Home Alone. I think he looked like the Pringles man if he was on board the Titanic.

And he was standing up there behind the microphone and he was just... He did look sad. It's sad. Yeah. It's sad. And then the Brown... Or the...

Sorry, the Broncos. Now we're just going to convince ourselves that it was the first time ever that three, three players with the same surname won as a quarterback, Allen's. The Allen's all won. Kyle Allen, Josh Allen, Brandon Allen. There's nothing better than the guy starting a game

who shouldn't be starting a game and the shots to his family in the crowd. And they have shitty seats because he's, you know, he's getting paid nothing. And there's going nuts on every single play. That's the peak. That's the peak of like family. That really is Roger Goodell's football family.

Yeah. There it is. But here's something that you can look at if you're a Broncos fan or if you're a Browns fan and you want to spend on yourself and thinking things aren't that bad. The Broncos defense is actually very, very good right now. The Browns defense is number third ranked in DVOA.

Wait, Broncos or Browns? The Broncos. The Broncos. The Broncos. I'm saying through the Browns, you can take some solace and knowing that it was a very good defense that beat you. You can't take solace or anything. Wearing shitty, shitty clothes.

And it was also Brandon Allen that beat you. You stink. You stink, Browns. I also have a theory about John Owie, a new theory about him. Obviously, he does try to tank games by hiring shitty quarterbacks to be his starters. His emergency quarterbacks, his third stringers,

are always just guys that are his friends. They're like sons. So it's like Jim Kelly's kid or nephew. And then just Brandon Allen, or not Brandon Allen, Brett Rippon. Is there a third string quarterback? There's a second string right now. I think John Owie is just like, hey, if you need a favor, I'll put your kid on the practice squad.

No problem. It's not bad. I like that. I like that. So we need to get some more sons out there. I don't know who else is quarterbacking right now. It's got to be a Kosar kid out there. Yeah.

You'd imagine there's at least one Kosar. There's probably a McCown that's about ready to make it to the NFL. Yeah. They're right there. Oh, Arch Manning is going to be really good. Yeah. So John Owie will not trap him.

He's a fresh man. He's like winning games and everything. It's crazy. The Packers Chargers. I will stand here right now and say I fucked up. What? What, Hank? I fucked up.

I'm not checking my head at you. I'm checking my head at the Packers. Yeah. Well, guess what? I have the reason why. I didn't do my research. They were in the can't lose parlor. They lost.

Guess what? This is from historic Packers Twitter account. The Packers have now lost their last six games on the weekend of Daylight Savings. Wow. Wow. Lombardi time doesn't account for that, huh? They cannot handle the change in time.

I wish I had known that before. Please mark that down for next year. That's an insane stat. That is crazy. How is that even possible? I don't know. Someone needs to remind us next year. Yes.

Someone needs to remind us the Packers do not do time change well. That is fucking weird. Yes. I see that's the thing I would expect for Andy Reid to be a stat. Right. But it was actually the Packers. So Mike McCartney. Mike McCartney kind of looks like him.

Yeah, he does. He, yeah, his brain comes from the Andy Reid tree. Fat people in general don't deal well with change. As someone like we don't do change well. Like you got to keep everything. The bag of chips needs to be in the same spot in the kitchen. I would think that that would be something that would fuck up Phillip Rivers too.

Yeah. With all the kids. They get up early. No. They don't know that the clock changes. Yeah. Kids don't have the internal clocks. I don't think that's true.

They wake up at like five. Yo, kids definitely wake up early on daylight savings. I think most kids have, I think you get an answer. What time do you get to search that? When do you get your internal clock? So kids, well, he's got like a wide variety of ages of children. I also think he probably sleeping at a hotel the night before. That's a good point.

Yeah. Did you see the kid that was at the podium with Phillip Rivers after the game? Ball security. Yeah. Yeah. He was holding like a football. Was it Jack that was asking if that was his kid?

Yeah. Because he was like, you got a new kid out of nowhere? He always has a new kid. I think that there's something too. I think Phillip Rivers is like a firehouse where if you have a kid that you don't want, you can just drop him off with Phillip Rivers and he has to take him legally.

He lives on a river. No questions asked. He's like Moses. Yeah. Is that Moses? Just put your kid in a little bassinet and put him in the river when it gets to Phillip's house. Yes.

It ends at Phillip Rivers' house. So the Packers were terrible. It's a reminder when Bosa and Ingram are doing their thing that they're unstoppable. Aaron Rodgers shaved. He did. He shaved before the game. He looked totally different and holy shit.

I'll say it. Trouble in Paradise is not the floor. Did they get into an argument afterwards? And they must have. They probably had 184 yards total offense. We're going to let them sling it today. 184 yards? I have a question for you, Big Cat.

Yeah. What is the name of the Chargers home stadium? Seekik? No. Dignity Health. Oh, nice. Dignity Health Park. Nobody knows.

No. It used to be. But then it changes. It's the other name. It changes name. What is it? Dignity Health. Two things that don't describe the Chargers franchise

and their players. Or the health care system in America. That's true. That's true. Get deep. Got a little political there. Sick of sports. Shit.

So yeah. And this also is a sign that the best way to get better is to just fire someone. Because Ken Wiesenhunt got fired and Phil Rivers looked like a new man. Who's their offense coordinator now, do we know? Who cares? It doesn't matter.

Yeah. Phil Rivers. It's not Ken Wiesenhunt. Phil Rivers with a twig in a sandbox. That's who's their offense. Just drawing some weird shit up. He could do it. Yeah.

The Packers offense looked weird. It must be daylight saving time. Nope. Because it didn't work. There's Matt LaFleur and Aaron Rodgers hitting each other. So they're doing verbal meme. It took a while. But they finally hit each other.

And I'm finally right. Verbal meme. Matt LaFleur and Matt LaFleur's family as the two older ladies that are cry screaming. And then Aaron Rodgers as the cat that's hissing at him. Hmm. Okay. You know that meme?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. That's a good meme. The this is Aaron Rodgers MVP campaign done. Finished. It is.

I don't know about that yet. It is. I think I think Aaron Rodgers. Russ Wilson to Sean Watson. Matt Stafford Lamar Jackson. Sorry Aaron. Try again next year. Probably not.

I was just happy the Packers lost. Everyone in the NFC North lost this week. And every home team won. Every home team won. Except the Jaguars didn't win. They were the home team in England. Correct. But every home team in their home stadium won.

Which Hank good thing you got off those money lines. Right. I would assume they were although there was a couple of road favorites. So yeah. The Browns were a road favorite. Um. Wait so tomorrow that means that we're betting on hoops. Is that the Cowboys.

The Giants. For the Giants. Okay. We're betting on the Giants tomorrow. Giants are at home. Okay. Let's get to who's back and our football guy of the week. PFT.

You got an ad for us real quick. Yes I do. I want to talk to you guys about Peloton. I love my Peloton. I'm a big fan of it. It's in my living room right now. I've got my Peloton bike and I typically work out on it. Maybe like two three four times a week.

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And we're going to wrap this show at like two. Maybe I will also sick. Maybe I will. Yeah. None of us can do CrossFit with Pete Carroll's twin son. Yes. Twin twins twins twin brothers. Pete Carroll's nephew through his twin.

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well beyond the holiday season. I'm going to you know what I'm going to take a class tomorrow before Monday football after I go home from work. I'm a hop on the Peloton. Don't know if it's going to be live class or if it's going to be one of the repeat ones. But I'm going to take one. It's a gift that will save them time.

It's awesome because I can go home. I don't have to worry about stopping by the gym. I just go directly to my house. It's right next to my television. I hop on my Peloton. I can even ride it while I'm watching TV while I'm watching Monday football. If I want to do that it's a high intensity

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He does. Hey are you are you over there talking trash about Brian Flores because he's a coach for for Bill Belchuk. One subscription comes with multiple profiles. The whole home can use it from pop rides to metrics rides. There's a workout that every member of the family will love.

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Mytake at checkout. Okay let's get to who's back of the week Hank. Who's back of the week. Darkness. I believe anything go love. Darkness. The darkness. Darkness.

I don't know that you were a fan of the darkness. Yeah. Oh you're going to do are you going to get sad. Yeah. You're going to get seasonal effective disorder Hank. Oh you need to son you move to California you soft little bitch. That was a little mean.

That was really mean. Seasonal effective disorder affects many people big cat and it's not something to make light of. Get it. People that say like it's just I just I never understood enough of you know things my whole life. I've never understood this but the winter is miserable. When it gets dark it's fucking five o'clock.

Yep. I don't want they didn't come in today. It was like oh you're so sad. It's so dark already like it's working over. Like when I need to come in it's already getting dark out of the five o'clock. I agree there's nothing worse there's nothing worse than driving to work.

I don't give a fuck. I don't even remember it now I guess but still. Driving driving to work in the dark and then when you leave work later in the dark you can't do a chore. If you leave work and it's already dark out you have to go home. You can't stop at the grocery store. So you can find trouble.

You can't go to the gym. And it's night out you find trouble. Human beings. Yeah you're out in the street getting into knife fights. Skin in trouble. 545 p.m. Look at you you're frowning right now. Suck it up.

Oh it's because the Patriot's lost. Just cut him some slack. Suck it up man. Who cares. It gets dark every year. It does the same thing. It is God's way of telling you not to leave your house. Yeah.

Winter and then you know what comes. March Madness. You're skipping as hard as that's a calendar by Big Cat. You're skipping an entire season of gray trash snow that piles up at the corners. Winter happens then March Madness happens. Yes. That's it.

All right. Is that it. Anything else. Yeah. You're so sad. Yeah you are kind of bummed out. Damn you're you're bumming me out. That's not fair.

Hank do you need a hug. Don't put your sadness on me. Well I guess those moneyline moneyline dogs didn't hit. I'm going to give Hank the biggest hug ever after this show. He remember he touched his ballsack. No not it was outside my sweatpants. He was masturbating while we were doing the show. It was outside the sweatpants.

And I'll have you know that I was performing a very important medical procedure and I saved my own life. You should do one too. Yes. All right. My who's back of the week is Urban Meyer rumors. And more specifically just coaching search season is back because Willie Taggart got the axe at Florida State.

And now people are speculating that they're going to throw a bag at Urban Meyer who's waiting patiently for the USC job or the Notre Dame job to open up. Shout out Alex Horney Brook for getting Willie Taggart fired. Oh is that what happened. I mean he was pay was very bad against Miami. So now what we're seeing is like a program that's in complete disarray and the delusions of the fan base

thinking who they're going to get for the next head coach. The back. And I've seen rumors thrown out there. I've seen Nick Saban's name mentioned. Yep. I've seen Urban Meyer's name mentioned. I've actually seen Jim Leonard's name mentioned a couple times. Jim Leonard is going to get a job somewhere.

I saw Dan Mullin's name mentioned. So it's like Dan is going to leave the job at the University of Florida to go to Florida State for some reason. I don't really get that one. But go off King. And what do you got Lane Kiffin season. Yeah. Lane Kiffin.

You should get hired. You should. And one of these what do you got. I have a quick explain the hang up regarding bios that I don't fully understand. But I know it's like one of those things that can be used. Is that like a group there like a group text chain or email where it's like. No they literally just so from what I've heard and understood. Yes.

You throw in like that's what I'm saying. So it's like a group text of like one millionaire being like hey you got five yeah like no there's a bunch of no I don't think they have a group text because they're so rich and they don't like no they just basically get 20 million dollars they call they call on on like old school phones and someone that has that much money is just like I'll give you five mil. No yes sometimes more they if you if you are a booster if you are a coach and like one guy who doesn't like you want you out and he will cut the check you could be out.

I think the majority of these deals are put together in either a country club on a golf course or in like a steakhouse like a back table at a steakhouse they actually all the rich guys you know what they probably do they probably do credit card roulette to see who's going to do this buyout. Yeah. They all just put their Amex Blacks in a hat. Someone needs to probably someone on the athletics going to do this but how if we do hit a recession what the recession will do to buyouts because if the rich guys lose money

they're not going to buy out so every coach is safe. So you want to be a coach. Coaching is the only job that's recession proof. Was that in and funeral homes funeral homes because more people die. It's actually the business you want to be in right in your homes and coaching. I've also heard that make up sales person. Yeah. Because you want to look better if you feel like shit.

Yeah. That's it. If you're sad because it gets dark. If you're sad. Yeah. Um OK. I don't like that. I don't like the seasonal effective Hank show.

It happens every time. Would you we stunned that it happened. No but I will say like I was I was you're really I was a little shocked. Now I now I'm now I'm going to be made fun of you are going to be hard. Well because it's ridiculous. People need the sun. We're just like plants. We need that vitamin.

You're tougher than the sun. The cat get one of those fucking the fucking sun sunlight things. Oh we should get a sunlight. Actually speaking of recession when I was working in real estate and the whole world went to shit and in 2008 one of my bosses got one and he was like yeah I just I was just looking to get some sun. It's like it's probably because of real estate. I'm making nine times less money.

But I got this big sun that I put on my face. I agree. It's like coaching make up funeral homes probably like missile sales person. Yeah. You tend to start wars. You get out of processions. Yes. Those are the industries you want to be in.

That's it. All right. My who's back to marathoners are back. We had the New York marathon today. God damn. Are they annoying. Yeah. That's pretty much it.

You can watch for like 10 minutes in between the London game and you went outside. No. No. On TV. Really. It was on like CBS or Fox or whatever. I don't know. Okay.

I was watching. They did. It was great. I flipped to it and they cut to one of the interviewers where the interviewer was running. So she couldn't really catch her breath like a horse after they could talk to Derby. I saw that one video where the dog was running. That was cool. Could you imagine running for fucking five hours and then having like a dog run and that

everyone's like damn that dog's awesome. I think that dog was even just lost. I don't think it was in the marathon. It was just like that's the course of its normal day. Everyone was like that dog is so cool. All you idiots who ran. You just can't ever be cool as cool as this dog. Shout out to Des Linden though.

Recurring guys to part of my take. She finished in I think sixth place. No. We don't we don't associate with losers. Sixth place. She won sixth place. No. She was actually a great guest.

And then my other who's back is business decisions because Draymond heard his hurt his finger hurt his finger when everyone on the Warriors got hurt. And all of a sudden he's not going to play for a while as well. Did you see the Warriors starting lineup the other night. Here's the names. Kai Bowman. Jordan pool. Glenn Robinson the third.

Eric Pascal. Willie Collystein. That's their starting five. Damn. Life comes at verbal meme. Warriors with Kevin Durant and Steph Curry and Clay Thompson and Draymond Green. And it's a picture of Baker Mayfield and August. Warriors with Kai Bowman Jordan pool etc etc.

And it's a picture of Sad Baker with his mustache. Is it time for Steve Kerr to have a back injury. Hmm. Interesting. It might be. Now's the time to take a break until Curry comes back. He learned from the best. Another verbal meme.

Just a picture of the roster. Record scratch. You're probably wondering how I got here right now. I can't say I'm not happy. Are you happy. I'm happy. You can't say you're not happy. That means that you are saying that you are happy.

I'm happy. You're very happy. I am happy. I'm pretty happy. It's pretty it's pretty awesome. It's it's happy. It's listen. So we had enough warriors.

Which finger was it for Draymond Green. That makes a difference. The middle finger is his gouging finger. No he was he was giving the middle finger to Kevin Durant when he was on first take. Was it real. Yeah. That was it.

And then he heard it. He just gave it the whole time. Kevin Durant come on the podcast. Hank. I texted him. Hank texted him. You texted your boy Kevin Durant. He got his number.

Where'd you get it from. Can X. Where did he text you back. Nope. Nope. Did he like. I texted him. That's a nope.

I texted him. I was like yeah it's the baby back bitch. I won't come up to you like. Come on the pod. We're running your MSG. And then like six hours later I liked the message. Just just in case. That's thirsty.

Just because sometimes. Yeah but the thing is it works. Sometimes when people text me and they like it. And I like I'll forget it. And then I'll see the like of it. Oh my bad. Yeah Liam does that to me when I ignore him. When he asked me to do stuff.

Right. Which is I was like big catch. Should I like it. And he was like well when Liam does it's annoying. But I usually respond. So I was like all right let's see what happens. Still didn't answer. So he liked so he left you on red.

Maybe I'll hit him with an exclamation point tomorrow. He Kevin Arant shout out Kevin Arant. Because you have played this so well. You've made us look like absolute bitches. Wait he goes on first take. He goes on everything. Yeah. Surgeoned everything.

Surgeoned abacus show. Everything. Did you actually text him or did you hit him with the Instagram. No I actually. I don't know. Because according to Broussard it's the same thing. No I texted him. No we've done we've texted him in multiple platforms.

Because I've DM'd him too. Yeah. He's actually more responsive on Instagram. Yes. But he's put a direct text and he's nothing. All right. Let's get to football guy the week. I have one question.

So I just saw this earlier. But I don't know if this is a football guy moves or what your opinion on this is. Dan Mullins wife kisses every player on the lips after they get off the bus of the game. I like that too. Yeah. Yeah.

Is that something wrong with that. That's great because she probably is like Dan you know that I do this with every player. Like this is because I'm I'm like their mom. And it's like but you seem to be really enjoying it. Definitely call her miss and then whatever her first name is. Yeah. Yeah.

Miss Linda. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So football guy the week we got a good week this week. Vote for it at part of my take. First up Bill's head coach Sean McDermott for being asked what he was for Halloween and responding a football coach.

Fact. That is so great because football guys have no sense of humor. No they don't they don't get dressed up for anything. Halloween. Why would they get dressed up. Halloween might be their least favorite holiday. They probably I mean they eat like it's Halloween every day. Anyway they sustain themselves on like a couple of milk duds

spread out over the course of the day. Correct. All right Liberty QB Buckshot Calvert for being named Buckshot Calvert. Yeah. And balling out. So yeah. You have to become a football player if your name is Buckshot. Yes.

You can't be a nerd. Yes you absolutely do. We had Florida head coach Dan Mullen. So should we do both of those for the letting his wife cuck him with his team. But that's all in the name. That's a strong recruiting technique too. Right.

Like you get to make out with my wife. Right. All get in a single file line. Yeah for free. So shout out him because he's literally a cuck for wind. Yeah. Daddy I'm looking at the picture right now. This is an absurd.

This is an absurd thing. I have to pull it up as well. I think we got to give it to Miss Megan. She is all the way in. Of kissing every game. Miss Megan. Come on. Miss Megan.

I like it. Both of her arms around a player's head and she's got. And he's like get out of here. Yeah. She Miss Megan. I love it. Oh my god. She definitely too.

Like when they get when they do the spring game. She's like well you know I do it for every game. It's like honey it's a spring game. She's just been she's just been like savoring that taste. Like we got it. I got to do it. I got to do it. You know I have to kiss every single guy on this team.

All right. So Dan Mullen for that. Which would you rather have. Would you would you rather get paid to be a player at one of these big time schools or to be allowed to make out with your coach's wife because if I'm mad at my coach the ultimate thing is like well guess what I'm going to go. I'm going to go put my tongue in your wife's mouth after

practice. Hey guess what Saturday morning coming quick coach Mullen. I'm going to be making out with Miss Megan in no time. I'm just going to be tapping my wrist on my invisible watch at practice every time it makes me run a sprint. Yeah. Do you think if you like if he if he has some guy who should

be a starter and he benches him that guy goes really maybe does it dip with Miss Megan. He's like I got you and like do the World War II soldier. Yeah. Right. With Miss Megan and yeah Times Square. All right. So Dan better than turnover change Dan Mullen for allowing

himself to be a cock for wins. And also he said he learned to multiply by sevens by before learning any other numbers so he could learn how to count touchdowns. There's no way this is true. Yeah. We'll just go with the Miss Megan thing Dan Mullen for being a willing and able cock.

All right. And then last drew breeze for his awesome pregame speech to Purdue who then beat Nebraska. I got to say I'm done making fun of Nebraska. It's sad. Like I'm done. It's not even fun anymore. I feel bad for Nebraska fans.

I genuinely feel bad for the people who are die hard corn husker fans and listen to this podcast. This is me coming in peace. There are no more jokes. I feel bad. It is tough. I thought this was going to be the year to form. I thought I thought it was going to be the year.

Yeah. Because he got Frost is a fucking awesome coach. I thought he was because the hype machine got behind a four and eight team and ranked them in the top 25. Insane. Mm hmm. OK. So that's football guy the week.

Vote for it. Vote for it. Football guy that we get part of my take. PFT last ad before we finish up the show. Do you have a more ad? I have one more ad. Yeah. I want to talk to you guys about policy genius.

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Get started on your smartphone right now. It's super easy policy genius. The easy way to compare and buy home insurance. Okay, let's wrap up with a couple of segments real quick. We got a herder injured Nate Diaz. That was an awesome W or I almost said UFC. Yeah. Well, the rock was there.

UFC, except for the fact that they called the fucking fight early. And I know this is crazy to say, but Nate Diaz is the type of guy that I actually like his chances. The more he gets the shit kicked out of him in the first three rounds. Yeah, it wakes him up a little bit. It absolutely does. And it looked like his right eye had taken like a slap chop to it. And he had these two cuts above it and below it.

And the doctor called it off. The little nerdy doctor was like, no, this guy can't fight. And where Nate Diaz was like, no, I have not yet begun to fight. And I take his side on this because the fight was just give him an accent of weird. Did you say, did you just give him an accent? I have not yet begun to fight. OK, that's for Nate Diaz. OK, got it.

That was a regular accent for Nate Diaz. But I take his side because the fight was for the baddest motherfucker, excuse me, baddest mother effort. Freaker. They couldn't say the F word on the on the broadcast on the broadcast team. But the baddest motherfucker belt is what they were fighting for. You need to have a bad motherfucker doctor, a special one brought. You need to have basically Jack Kvorkian brought in to be the official doctor for the BMF belt.

Because you can't disqualify for that. You're not a bad motherfucker. You have the kid who kept on getting arrested for pretending he was a doctor. Boom. There we go. That 16 year old. Yes. Who just kept on saying he was a doctor.

He should have been the doctor. Or just James Franco from 127 hours. Yeah. Slice his arm off. So my big question is, and it was a it was a good card, except for that ending early. And the other co-made event wasn't great, but there was some really good knockouts. The big question is, can the Mecca handle the UFC? Because there was some word on the street that that fight doesn't get stopped in Vegas.

And New York isn't really used to MMA the way that Vegas is. And that fight got stopped too early because the Mecca can't handle UFC. Well, I would say after years of having the Knicks play there, they've probably seen a lot worse. Correct. They've probably seen a lot more ugly. And the most recent big fight was the Tyson Fury fight in Vegas when his eye basically fell off and he continued fighting.

Would have been stopped in New York. That's an interesting take on it. I did like the prelim between the Black Beast and the guy from Bulgaria, the dude that had the hole in his sternum from when he got stabbed in his heart. I thought it was a belly button. Everyone's like, dude, he got stabbed. He got stabbed. So he got into a bar fight in Bulgaria, stabbed in the heart.

He pulled the blade out of his chest, walked outside, held a cab, got in the cab, went to the hospital, checked himself in and then basically passed out for three months. And that's the guy you think you can knock out. And he was in Kimbo Slice videos back in the day, which is like the ultimate street cred. Like one of the original Kimbo Slice videos. Backyard. Yeah. Damn.

If I see a man that has been that has a stab wound on his heart and I have to fight him. About. I'm out. See you. No, no, thank you. He had such a fucking iron jaw to. He was just taking. Hey, mate.

He looked like you guys are the best. He was bored with how hard he was getting hit. Yeah. Yeah. He's bored during a UFC fight that he was losing. They're the best. See, I was a good card. Shouldn't have stopped the Nate Diaz fight.

That sucked. But yeah, overall good card. Last time we have parade math, the Washington Nationals had a parade. Yep. On Saturday. And what was the math? They had a parade. It was the biggest, biggest assembly of people in the history of Washington, DC.

No chance. Forget about the aerial photography that shows that the capitals had more people at the parade. This had more people than the capitals parade. You saw a fake news photography. The million man march. I don't know about that. I haven't looked at the satellite imagery yet. You just made it up.

I just know that it was as big as the capitals. The capitals. One of the most synergetic championships, celebrations between teams that I've seen. District champions. Congrats for that. They shouldn't have done it on a Saturday though. That was stupid. Yeah.

The worst part about parades on Saturday is that when you go to them, you're not missing work. Well, on that end, everyone's watching college football and no one cares. Yeah. That's really. You need to, if you have a parade during the weekday, that's all that's on ESPN during the weekday. And so everyone talks about it in the clips go viral. I didn't even realize they were having a parade. Yeah.

Plus, then you get like a note from the mayor saying, I give you permission to miss work today. Some may say if you have a parade on a college football Saturday, did you even win a championship? I would say that those people are probably right. I don't think so. Yeah. They're probably right. I don't think you even won. We did have the trophy that we were carrying on that.

I hate that stupid trophy. It's so dumb. It is a dumb, dumb trophy. It's so, so dumb. Will you like it? Yeah. We talked about this. You liked it.

I've always liked the World Series trophy. Call me a baseball purist, but you're you're you just love it. You're one of the seam head. Seam head, big, big, big, big head. All right. That's our show. We got some big guests coming up this week. We have the fan favorite John Rothstein to preview some college basketball.

Some Hall of Famers. Some Hall of Famers coming up. Yep. Multiple Hall of Shamers. Hall of Shamers. Hall of Shamers. Hall of Shamers. Who's that?

Who's that? Hall of Shamers. Wednesday. Who would that be? Wednesday. We don't have any interviews on Wednesday, Hank. Hall of Shamers on Wednesday. Hank, this Patriots loss is driving you insane.

Considering in the Hall of Shame. I feel like it was a person that got shamed pretty hard. What? Oh, we're not going to run that Wednesday, are we? Oh, OK. Nope. A future guest. OK, yes.

Is in the Hall of Shame. Yes, he is. Yes. Hall of Fame in Hall of Shame. And then Megan Mullin. If you want to call him on the show, maybe on Wednesday. Hang out with us and walk us in and out of the studio. Yep.

That might be cool, too. I'm sure you're going to win football this week. I bet you we could. If we told Dan Mullin, we're like, hey, we will be Florida boosters. Like, not in the money sense, but in the like, hey, we're going to boost you up. He would fly Ms. Megan up here and she would smooch us before every single podcast. And it wouldn't even go past that. No.

It wouldn't. We would not get to the second. Nope. Shortstop third base right. Right as I walk in the studio, have a good show. Yeah. And then a smooch afterwards on the way out. Yeah.

Little book into the show. Mwah. And guess what? I love you guys. Yeah. Mwah. Mwah. Check your testicles.

I need less to say, I'm on sentence, but I'm being stolen a little way. Slowly learning that life is OK. Say after me, it's no better to be safe than sorry. Take on me, take me on, I'll be gone in a day or two. Take on me, take me on, I'll be gone in a day or two.