Pardon My Take - NL MVP Christian Yelich, NBA Playoffs, S8E3 Game Of Thrones Recap

Episode Date: April 29, 2019

NFL Draft recap, Josh Rosen traded, and John Elway got himself a tall quarterback (2:29 - 11:51). NBA Playoffs, Hank is thinking 18, Big Cat has a theory that the Warriors are only playing the Warriors and he's rooting for the Warriors plus Kawhi is amazing (11:15 - 24:06). Who's back of the week including Coachella and a new made up festival (24:06 - 36:44). NL MVP Christian Yelich joins the show with teammate Travis Shaw, talking about how hot he's been since last All Star Game, being in the zone, and why he shouldn't do the HR Derby so we don't have to eat each other's asses (36:44 - 76:25). Spoilers (no actual avenger spoilers) for LeSean McCoy, Talking Soccer, Monday Reading Sober Free Bars are the new rage, the dumbest Game of Thrones recap (starts at 97:33). You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part in my take, NLMVP Christian Yelich friend for right now. There's some history there. With benefits.

With benefits. We talked to him about not only our stupid bet that we just made with ourselves that we're regretting, not regretting yet, but if he wins a home on Derby, we will regret it. We talked about how hot he's gotten since we last talked to him all-star game. He's basically become a Hall of Famer overnight.

And we have draft cleanup, NBA playoff, who's back, Monday reading, and we have the Battle of Winterfell, which we will get into at the end of the show. No spoilers until the end of the show. Before we get to all of that, the Cash App. Part of my take is sponsored by Cash App.

Cash App. Cash App. It literally says take the biggest breath in and then say app. It's the Cash App. Download the Cash App. Why are you looking at me like that? Hank, I'm reading the script.

Cash. Download the Cash App today. From the App Store, Google Play Store, Cash App has been kicking ass for us. You can still, I think, donate some money to Blake Griffin's Foundation if you download it and use code Barstool. It saves some of your life.

It saves some lives. The Cash App, thank you very much, our presenting sponsor. Okay, let's go. Boy! Boy! Now in the street, they with violence. And then a lot of stuff will have to be done.

No place to hang a low washing. And then I can't live all on the sun. Oh, no. We're gonna rock down to electric avenue. And then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue. And then we'll take it higher. Welcome to part of my take.

Presented by the Cash App. Today is Monday, April 29. PFT, should we give some grades for the draft? Let's do it. This never goes wrong. I like giving my grades for the draft before the draft happens. And you can pencil in the Raiders for an F every year.

You can pencil in the Giants for an F every year. You can pencil in the Redskins usually for an A every year. And that usually works out pretty well for them. Jaguars A, oh, every year. Uh-huh. I do my entire post-draft analysis based on where you were supposed to be picked in the mock draft versus the real draft.

So if you reached because a bunch of guys, nerds online, made a mock draft, then I'm gonna give you an F. Yeah. Nothing based on them playing football. You know, like I love overreacting to draft grades because, and that's the best part too, is you not only have the draft grades of people,

like the person writing it is overreacting, then the overreacting to the draft grades gets people mad too. That's the NFL draft. Also, Patriots always get an A. Because you just assume that no matter what Belichick's doing, he's got like some proprietary formula that he's worked out. And that's why he traded up like 20 spots to get a right-footed punter.

He can see the future. He's a war. He is. Just keeping it on. I don't know what that means. Nope. Nope. That's actually the back.

The back. All right. So big, big news for like things that were notable. DK Metcalf got drafted by the Seahawks. Pete Carroll is just going to keep his shirt off forever. He should coach shirtless. Yes. That would be great.

That was such a funny scene where DK walks in the room shirtless. And that's just guys being dudes. Yes. Like, Pete Carroll sees him come in the room and he's like, oh, this guy's got his shirt off. I got to get my shirt off too. That's how it works when you're a guy. By the way, credit to the entire NFL and the draft process

for not picking DK Metcalf top 10. Being like, hey, this guy's really good at running in a straight line. He's really jacked. But he can't do anything else that makes you a good receiver. And when I say credit to the NFL, I mean, Al Davis is just dead. Right. Yeah.

You looked out on that one. Right. He is like Mike Wallace with pecs. Yes. That's how I can best describe DK Metcalf. I would have taken him top 10 just based on that one picture that was obviously taken at like a very flattering angle that made him look like a 3D muscle.

Yeah. Made him look like five times as wide. The girth on that guy's shoulders was just unreal. So yeah. Credit to Al Davis for still being dead. Yep. Or maybe he's a white walker. He probably is.

He absolutely is. He was a white walker the last like 10 years of his life. Oh, also they got Tony Brown this off season in addition to Antonio Brown. Antonio Brown was going at Ryan Clark on Twitter on Friday and said, it's on site when I see you. I love that. But guess what? That wasn't Antonio Brown saying that was Tony.

Tony Brown. So Tony, I don't know which one's Mr. Big Chest. Well, that's DK Metcalf. And it might be Mr. Big Check. Yeah. You don't know. We don't know. DK Metcalf should squad on the Mr. Big Chest.

Bait on site is such a badass thing to say to someone on Twitter when you're probably never going to see them. And the other big news of the weekend, I would say, was Josh Rosen. Josh Rosen. Got traded to the Dolphins for, I don't know, like what, the 60th pick? Something like that. Second and a fifth rounder. It was a kid from UMass, right?

The really fast kid. Andy Isabella. Yeah. Yes. So the guy that was shockingly not drafted by the Patriots is going to the desert. And Josh Rosen is going to Florida. My question for you, Big Cat, is did Josh Rosen handle the trade too well? Is that a red flag?

Well. Well, so what happened after the trade? First of all, the whole Josh Rosen is a terrible teammate, terrible human being is like the biggest runaway narrative of all time. Just to refresh everyone, it started with two things. One, Josh Rosen had a hot tub in his dorm room, which just a little heads up. The QB at a big time college football program probably has sex. Building code violation.

Probably has sex. Yes. Building code violation. That's not in the student handbook. Number two, Jim Moore Jr., who's a shitty coach time and time again, got fired mid-season. And then in the draft process was like, hey, this Josh Rosen guy, he thinks I'm dumb. Yeah. Like, well, yeah, no shit.

You are dumb. Yeah. Jim Moore, the big red flag on Josh Rosen was he didn't listen to Jim Moore Jr.'s coaching enough. That should be like, let's draft this guy because he's smart enough to know the dumb people in the room. Exactly. So yeah, it's become a runaway narrative.

People are, it's so funny to me because what happens with runaway narratives is all the things that... Don't explain to me what happens. No, no, no. I'm explaining to the people. I know you. All the things that we love in the accomplished quarterbacks are now negatives. Josh Rosen is a little abrasive, he's a little arrogant.

He thinks he's smart. He wants to be mentally challenged. It's like all these things like, hey, Aaron Rodgers, kind of the same guy. Tom Brady, he seems like a pretty good teammate, but he had the whole Jimmy G thing where it's like he locked him out of the TB12 method. Right. Huge dickhead. He's won two Super Bowls, so it's like you're a dick and it's good when you win, and then

if you are behind the worst offensive line of all time in your dick, you are a real big character. But the thing is, I don't know, when has he been a dick? I haven't seen... Nobody from the Arizona Cardinals said anything bad about him, right? Like his teammate seemed to really like him. The one time he said that football is not everything. That's right.

Yeah, doesn't love football. That was it. Good point. He doesn't love football so much. He was the MVP of Larry Fitzgerald's softball. And home run derby champion. Can you imagine, can you just imagine if Kyler Murray had shown up to Fitzgerald's softball tournament and gone five for five with five grand slams like seven outfield

assists? And the A's were like, fuck. This sucks. But yeah, the Josh Rosen, like, and with all that said, you know, we've obviously had a very good, a funny running bit this fall about the Josh Rosen stat line. His character, like the whole narrative is bullshit. He could very well suck. Mm-hmm.

Like he had a really good... We don't know. The guys, though, who have had really bad rookie years and then they ended up being good. And I just, like, I've been standing on this, like, you know, pedestal being like, why would no one take a shot at Josh Rosen? Like, the Dolphin did something smart. It...

Okay, if he's bad, you got a guy who was drafted 10th overall last year for a fucking third round pair, second round pick. It's worth a risk. I agree. I agree. And we don't know what Josh Rosen is. He didn't look good for the most part. No.

But I don't know how you can be Stephen... Or Stephen Smith. That was a Freudian slip there. Yeah. He put on his Stephen A. Smith hat and gave some takes about Josh Rosen, saying, like, well, what was the crux of his general argument? Because I was trying to find a point because he was saying it so assertively that I was like, I want to buy into whatever take this is, but I don't understand the words that

are being put together. It was a mix of Josh Rosen unfollowing the Cardinals on Instagram and him not competing for a job that was, like, they drafted another quarterback and they wanted to trade him. Number one overall. No chance to compete for the job. An open competition. He showed up to OTAs last week when he knew he was going to get traded. So I don't know.

I think Josh Rosen, probably not as bad of a guy as people want him out to be, might still suck as a quarterback, but I'm willing to give him a second shot. Yeah. It was kind of ridiculous. And Steve Smith, like, he's an entertaining orator. I will give him that. Yes. Like, I like to listen to Stephen A. Smith be pissed off at people.

That's the Steve Smith that I want. But in this case, I don't know that it really made a lot of sense. Also him telling everyone, like, how to be a good teammate, like Steve Smith, I loved Steve Smith. He's one of the all-time, like, fun guys to watch, but I'm pretty sure he tried to fight every single one of his teammates at some point in his career. Yeah. And officials.

Yeah. Ice up, son. That was actually awesome when he told him to ice up. He actually, Steve Smith is actually the perfect example of how funny narratives get. He was a dick and he was like an asshole to his teammates, but everyone was like, well, that's the competitor in him. Yeah. That's just.

That's just Steve Smith, man. That's just what he does. So yeah. So Josh is on the move to South Florida. That'll be interesting to see next year. What else happened over the weekend? Like, in the draft, no real surprise, like, Will Greer will go up to Carolina. John Elway got his tall quarterback.

Drew Locke goes to the Broncos. Small hands, though. Might I remind you? Nine, nine inches. Yeah. Also, you're, you're forgetting, though, when he gave the double finger guns and the wink at the reporter at the senior bowl. So that is a John Elway.

John Elway came himself when he was like, he's got those double finger guns. That's my kind of guy. I just like the John Elway. Yeah. Like he was like six, four. This is good. And I also, the Ryan Pace is doing a big time future Ryan Pace thing. And I love it.

He's basically just keeps trading more, like putting every, all the chips into right now. We need our guys right now in three years. Future Ryan Pace is going to wake up if the Bears don't have a Super Bowl. There's going to be a big pile of shit on his doorstep and I'm okay with it. Well, draft picks are really just like a Ponzi scheme. Yeah. So if you just borrow from the future, you can still fill it up now. And it's just dawning on me.

This is how dumb I am personally and how dumb most of the draft analysis that you see out there is. The R words got A's across the board from everybody, but it's just because they picked twice in the first round. Right. And they picked players. Without a doubt. We know their names.

So it's like, oh shit, the Redskins dominated the draft. They got two first round picks. A key to dominating the draft, two first round picks and then picking one guy who was a known winner. So if you pick two first round picks, then Hunter Renfro, A. And Bryce Love. That's a name. They got Bryce Love.

He was really good. I saw him in a bunch of those late night Pac-12 bailout games. Yeah. You know a guy. You're like, oh, okay. Well, that guy was good in college. Perfect. Hey.

But yeah, it was, I don't know. The NFL draft, like we said on Thursday's show, they make it too long. By Saturday, it's like, come on guys, we're still in Nashville. It's background noise. We're still doing this, but it was, it's always fun. It also means that football is going to be back soon enough. Let's talk about basketball. Henry Lockwood, are you all the way in with the Celtics now?

Oh yeah. You are. I have her out. I have her not. You, I walked into the office this afternoon, Sunday afternoon, and Hank was actually raising a banner. I was like, what are you doing, dude? He's like 18.

And that was, I was like, huh? I mean, they, they are a team at Dusty now with the whole Hadley check thing. They did kick the shit out of the bucks. Johnis, uh, Al Horford, uh, Al Horford being like the guy who, like the wily old veteran who can just shut down like young phenoms is, is fucking awesome. When did he learn how to jump the gas? Yeah. He's, he is awesome.

It's like every May, he remembers how to jump. Here's the problem though with Al Horford because, uh, everyone is like an analyst now and the NBA is covered to such an extent on Twitter. Al Horford is going to go in like, I assume the Hall of Fame because everyone goes in the basketball hall of fame as the most overrated, underrated guy because everyone's like, Al Horford's so underrated, eventually we're like, guys, we get it. He's good. He's good.

He's really, really good. I can tell that Hank's worried. You want to know how? Because he was rooting so hard for the Rockets because he, he does not want to play the Warriors. Yes. Yes. You were, you were afraid of the Warriors. My Warriors.

Yes. You were afraid of the Warriors. Absolutely. My Warriors. If the Rockets could be the Warriors, it's wide open. I think, um, before it's too late, before I can like fully, uh, get absorbed into my own shit headness. Get it off.

Get it off. Um, I was wrong about the Celtics Bucks series. I just want to say that. I said there was no chance in hell that the, that the Celtics make it a series and that the Bucks were like, I believe I said the Bucks are head and shoulders above every other team. I'm going to jump off that tick now. I don't, I, I'm in like ankle deep water.

Big of you. And before I get sucked down by the undercurt of my own shitty ideas, I'd like to say, I think the Celtics can beat the Bucks. Yeah. I think so too. Kyrie still, when Kyrie is like just on, it's insane. I mean, he finishes anywhere. He, well, that was a little, I'm not going to, yeah, he, he is, he's insane.

And I think Yannis will like, this was a really bad game for Yannis, but I think, I do think it will be a good series. I do not think the Celtics like Hank has them sweeping the Bucks. No, I never said, I never said anything. He has the 18th banner up. I will say that these playoffs without LeBron have been much more enjoyable because like you get to see the other superstars. It seems like they're all trying to one up each other where it was like, well, Kauai,

Kauai is insane. KD Tatum is 19, right? Yeah. 19 year old kid. 20. Kauai is going to keep, I mean, imagine how good they're going to be when he plays well. When he turns 20. Kauai is going to keep going off every single game so that people can just keep going, hey,

remember Kauai. That's like what these, if the Raptors get to the finals, it will just be the, hey, remember Kauai playoffs. It's like, yeah, we actually do remember. He's really fucking good. I don't think he hit the rim in that game. I think it was like 45 points. 45 points all on swishes.

I want to know what the sabermetrics on his shots to rim touches. I bet you it's like 0.3, it's 30% of his shots touched rim. Yeah. He's wet. Wet. Do you want to know why I'm a Warriors fan? Sure. Hank.

Sure. You're mad at me. No, I mean. My dubs. Dubs nation. Shut up. Dubs nation. I don't know who you are anymore.

You know. Okay. Here's why. I've been, I've been, I've been brewing on this. Now, when I say I'm a Warriors fan, obviously. I did. I just ran around the office. I put my belly button right in your face.

It's like, suck that stuff to God. I am rooting for the Warriors in like a very backwards way, but hear me out. The Warriors every year, it's been like, no one can beat the Warriors. No one can beat the Warriors. This year, there finally is a team that can beat the Warriors and it's the Warriors. So I'm, I'm excited to watch the Warriors try to beat the Warriors because this is what happens at the late dynasties. Like the, the most interesting part of sports to me is greatness.

The second most interesting part is when great teams start to fracture and fall apart. When they can't get out of their own way. Kobe and Shaq, the 98 bulls. Why everyone always brings up, like what, you're always like, why are people talking about the Patriots? Because they, it's interesting to see teams at the end of possible end of runs, like how it all comes apart. And the Warriors, I truly think they all hate each other.

Yeah. And I think it's, it's spread completely fair around. Like Kevin Durant, we've already talked about Tripp B. I blame Clay. All that stuff. Well, I get to Clay. Draymond's got to be the most annoying guy in the world to be around every single day for three years.

I mean, he's like, the, the Steve Kerr thing was the perfect example. Like I'm not turning down the music. Steph, no matter what Steph does, he always gets the credit. He's always number one in everyone's heart. And then Clay, I think Clay is everyone's best friend and Clay's like, like, if you're like, Hey Kevin, who's your best friend? Like Clay. Draymond, who's your best friend?

And then Clay's like, my best friend's this dude named Paul from Washington state. Like, I don't even like these guys. Clay, well, or would you say that Clay is a coward for not picking sides? Yeah. Well, he's, so he tries to make everybody happy. He's just perma high, even though I don't even know if he smokes, but he's perma high. He could smoke up that goatee of his and get a contact from it. Yeah.

Exactly. So I think that watching the Warriors try to beat the Warriors is, is the most fascinating part of these playoffs. And I want to see like watching end of dynasties. I love like the allure of it. So I am rooting for the Warriors to beat the Warriors. And if they lose, then I also went because the Warriors beat them. So would you say that this today was a statement lost for the Warriors or was it a moral victory?

It was a both. That's the beauty of it. Yes. They're playing both sides of it. And I forgot about boogie boogie is definitely the guy who shows up and everyone's like, this guy's awesome. And then he like, beats like a chicken beer pong is like, you suck. You fucking suck.

Like, bro, can you just chill out like ruining this whole thing? Yeah. Hank is, Hank is very triggered over there by all this. So I'm rooting for the Warriors trying to beat the Warriors. There's no team that can beat the Warriors except the Warriors. Dub's nation, baby. Hank doesn't get it. Hank is trying to process this.

I might not make any sense. Warriors do you want to win? He wants the Warriors to beat the Warriors. I want the Warriors to beat the Warriors, which means you want them to fall apart. No, I want them to come together. He wants to fall apart because they beat themselves because they're so good at being dickheads that they're able to defeat each other. I kind of want the Warriors to win because I really don't like, this is the first time

where it's interesting to me. The last couple of times they've won, it's like, who cares? They're going to win. Yeah. This is the first time where it's like, this is truly, they have a huge test in whether they can beat themselves. I'm rooting for a trainer. I was also really high all weekend.

So this could be part of it. Yeah. The Warriors, personally, is a major part of it, but you're not wrong. I think I'm right. Yeah. You're not wrong. No, it is fine. I like to think of what is the thing.

What's the scenario that they can possibly... I believe without what we're on is the year they're most likely to win? No, because the bad Warriors are the best they've ever been. The Warriors playing themselves, they are the strongest. The bad chemistry Warriors are the strongest the bad chemistry Warriors have ever been. Do you understand that part? Yeah. I also think there's that element to be totally truthful here.

I don't care if they win this year because they're going to break up no matter what. So if it was... Well... If Kevin Durant had like a five-year deal, I'd be like, fuck these Warriors because they just every year, but I know this is the end and I kind of want to watch the end. What's the perfect storm for the Warriors to stick around and at least have Kevin Durant and Steph Curry on the team? I think Kevin Durant's gone.

What could possibly happen that would make Kevin Durant stick around? If they threw Draymond Green into the... On Alcatraz, if they locked him on Alcatraz for the next two years and said, Katie, it's going to be you and Steph. I think the only way it would happen is if the Warriors win and they beat the bad chemistry Warriors this year and Steph bends the knee. Yeah. Okay.

Kisses the ring. Yes. It says this is your team. This is your team. It unites them. If he gets a tattoo across his back that says, this is Katie's team. Yeah. Katie's Warriors.

I'm going to find some new app that he wants to invest in because it is Silicon Valley. People forget the Warriors play there. Yeah. And they probably circumvent the cap by paying their plays in Bitcoin. I think, no, I really do think it's done this year. So it doesn't feel the same as years past where it's like no one can ever beat the Warriors. Yeah. Like this is the end of the run and rooting for a team that has won at the end of a run

feels different. The only thing I'm hoping for is that Katie, no matter where he goes next year, I want it to be the team that bounced Golden State from this playoff. Yes. Just so we can get that narrative going. Wait. So wait. Next year, you're saying, oh no, you want him to join the team to bounce it?

I want him to join the Rockets if the Rockets beat the Warriors this year. Well, PFT, he could do that if the Warriors beat the Warriors and then he's resigns with the Warriors. That's true. That's true. He could. Now, full ball padded me. Oh my God.

Could you imagine KD and Chris Paul on the same team, the amount of pettiness that would be going on? Well, it turns out Chris Paul might be the new baby back bitch. Okay. You were 100% right. I'm happy you brought that up. This is the single worst series that the referees have ever had to deal with. I know people are going to complain about how the game ended and all that shit.

I will not complain about a single call these refs make, whatever ref crew is on there because I can't think of a worse series. If Chris Paul literally complaining about every play, James Harden is trying to trick the refs on every play. He flops like a motherfucker. Draymond is like, you don't know if he's going to punch a ref, KD triple B. It's basically nonstop. The refs, what they have to deal with, I'm not going to complain at all about what they

say. Mark Dantoni with the place where his mustache should be that's just totally blank right now. Steve Kerr thinks he's better than everyone. He does have a little bit of smugness right now. Yeah. I think he does. He's Jordan is stepping and punching him in the face again.

Humble him. Yeah. I'm going to be like, oh, my back so he can, you know, every now and then be like, oh, my back. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. I agree with you that it is a tough series for the refs, but I also think that it's pretty

hilarious to watch them blow obvious calls. But they're not even, like, I don't, I can't trust James Harden and literally try to trick them on every, the landing zone thing that we're into now, James Harden jumps out of the landing zone into other people. There's a no fly zone. He's just violating, he's like, he's jumping out of Kuwait the whole time. It just goes right into people. It's so funny to watch him play.

I used to hate James Harden because yeah, he does try to trick everybody, but now it's like, what new stunt is he going to pull now? And he flops so hard and I love it. And you know what it is? It's the beard too. When you see that beard swaying around out there as he's in the deck, it looks more violent. Yes. It absolutely does.

It's like, it's like RG3 when his limbs go flailing and his braids go like in every single direction after he gets hit one time. It looks like a more severe penalty when it's happening to somebody with like big hair. That's how Stephen Jackson became a great running back. He just looked more violent running. Yeah. Oh, you see a running back get face masked and their hair comes to the front where your face should be.

You know that's a penalty. Mary and Barbara. Yep. There you go. But yeah, this has been, this is like the playoffs, the NBA playoffs have now officially started. Like they are fun. They're must watch.

It did, I know this was a tweet that was probably sent 500,000 times this afternoon, but it did feel like a finals game. This is the finals. They're playing the finals right now guys. This is the real finals right now. This is the real finals. Just end it right after this. Of course, what we're talking about is the Bucks Celtics because Hank's ready to crown

them. Crown them. Crown their asses. If the Rockets beat the Warriors. Yeah. Crown them, Hank. We're talking 18. I'd be more afraid of the Rockets than I would be of the Warriors.

What if you just listen to them? The Rockets can't beat the Warriors. Only the Warriors can beat the Warriors. Got it. Yeah. You learn nothing. That's going to suck when the Celtics end up winning the NBA title, but they have to split it with the Warriors.

The bad chemistry Warriors who beat themselves. All right. Let's get to some who's back of the week. Hank, why don't you start? My who's back of the week is Vladimir Guerrero. Okay. Junior. We just step on one of our segments.

That's fine. No, no. Go ahead. Go off. Go off. Yeah. Vlad Junior. Let's hear it.

What's your take? He's an MLB. Everyone's going crazy. He's good. He got his first hit. He's a fucking beast. He's a beast. Every time he does anything, they're like, Vladimir Guerrero, Vladimir Guerrero, Vladimir

Guerrero. I can't. I think they're going to, it's going to get, it's not, it's fine now. It's good. Good to see nostalgia, but I think like halfway through the season, we get a little old. Wait, are you complaining about Vlad Junior or Vlad Senior? MLB is overexposing Vlad Senior. It's not his fault.

Vlad Junior. No, they have cameras on Vlad Senior. So every time Vlad Junior does anything, it's like, here's Vlad Senior's reaction to this. Are we canceling Vlad Senior? No. No. Vlad Senior is great.

This is the MLB's fault. Like Vlad Senior is just watching. You can't complain about the MLB not being able to market stars and then going over the top to market a young star. I agree with you. Vlad Senior, get, move along Vlad Senior. It's Vlad Junior's show. He's electric.

We actually had a way to stay relevant baseball because good job by baseball to have one of the most beloved hitters of all time have a kid and then 20 years later have that kid make baseball relevant. That's the one shot in their back. Well, they have two shots. They have hope that two podcasters eat each other's buttholes. Yeah. That's it.

We'll get to that more. That's play number one. Play number two is just hope that a player that used to be very, very relevant back when you were relevant. Yes. Has a child to make you relevant. Again, it's like if Cal Ripken Jr., Jr. went on a little street. Randy Johnson's son, better get up here fast.

Yeah. I need him to explode a bird. Is that? Is there a Ken Griffey Jr., Jr.? Ken Griffey Jr.? Ken Griffey III? I think he might have played football actually. Arizona?

That's awesome. Yeah. First he lost Collard Murray. Now Ken Griffey Jr., Jr. Hank, any others? No. Oh, okay. PFT.

Okay. My who's back of the week is Jeopardy. Yep. So Jeopardy's back in a big way. They've got a dominant player right now who I'm very woke on. His name's James. First of all, he's a professional sports gambler. Oh, Trey Griffey is a great name for Ken Griffey.

Okay. I was in the middle of my who's back. Trey. Trey Griffey is actually a great name. Yeah. Oh, shit. John Naiman is on deuce. Yeah, that's actually great.

The second. He's the third. Fuck. Good job. I was going to get mad at you for interrupting my who's back, but that was a great fact. Thank you, Hank. So yeah. James is the...

Thank you for thanking Hank. Yes. You're welcome. James is the dude on Jeopardy right now. He's got like $1.3 million worth of earnings. I'm very woke on him because he... Well, first of all, he is a professional sports gambler. So fuck you, dude, for being good enough at something that I'm so bad at that you can

make a living. Yeah. And then also being this smart. I just put one in his ear hole, Tim. Are you a big Jeopardy guy? I love Jeopardy. See, here's my problem with Jeopardy. I always think I'm watching a rerun.

Well, so what? Because I just never know. I'm like, these are old facts. I need to watch it live. You got to be in the moment. Right. I always think like, did they play this? What time does it air?

Normal. That's the weird thing about Jeopardy is sometimes it airs before Wheel of Fortune. Sometimes it airs after depending on what time zone you're in and what state you're in. I always turn on Jeopardy. I'm like, wait. This probably aired initially at 4.30 and now they're playing at 7.00 and what's going on? If you don't watch every episode, you're lost.

Right. Catching up to it. Exactly. I've lost the plot line of Jeopardy. But I love this dude, James. I think that he's cheating, number one. But I like, anytime Jeopardy has like a dominant player like that, it's good for the game. I think Jeopardy is probably goosing his buzzer speed because, you know, he's really, really

quick on the thumb. And you can see if you watch him, he's going up against other good competitors who are trying to buzz in the whole time, but they don't have the timing of the buzzer down right. I think the buzzer on the left is faster than the other ones because it's in the best interest of Jeopardy to have a dominant star. They need a king. They need a king because now people are tuning in. Even though they've paid him like $1.3 million, it's worth it for the ratings for Jeopardy.

Ken Jennings versus this guy? Okay. Well, Ken said, Ken bent the knee already to him. Fuck. Ken said that. You pussy, Ken. He said that James would kick his ass. Oh man, Ken.

We need Ken versus him, special Jeopardy. Don't throw an Arthur True there too. Just for the ratings. Isn't that problematic? Was he? I'm pretty sure he did. Hey, you've got to stay up to date on your cancellations. Don't bring up a canceled guy.

I feel like everyone gets canceled. Well, that's the point. We're going to all cancel each other until we're the army of the dead. Is that? Maybe that's the plot. And I'm okay with that. I'm on the record being fine with being a zombie army. You don't have a lot to worry about when you're literally dead.

How sick would that be if they just raised all the canceled people and they like war or they're they're like super problematic tweets on their chest. They're shame. Like just walking around with like racial slurs and they're just walking around like we're back. Night King Michael Richards. No, Night King Justine. Has she landed yet?

She raises them all up. She's flying around on the dead dragon. Never landing. So never getting canceled. Oh man, we should write that little play. Write that down. Okay. All right.

That's my that's my who's back of the week. Okay. My who's back is Coachella. Okay. Back again. They're doing it again. They did it. They was so good last week.

They did it again this week. Do they go home for work during the week? Or do they just stay out there? I don't know. I don't know. What do you look at me like that Hank? It's a back. It's going on again.

I saw the Ferris wheel. People took pictures in front of the Ferris wheel. I think I had a little thought here. We should go next year. Yeah. Well, here's no. That's better. I got a better thought.

Thanks for that big time. We will cancel Coachella by our presence. Yeah. I thought we should create our own festival because there's a million festivals now. This is like festivals have come back. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like Woodstock 50 I think is this year.

I meant to creating my own very luxurious music festival. Right. Maybe on the Rhode Island. No, here's the thing is we don't even. I got the black card. We don't even. We don't even call it Coachella. Ooh.

Now that was a good idea. That's really good. But we should do it and not even like pretend that we're going to do it. It's just a poster because that's all it really is at this point. It's like the poster comes out. Everyone says that's a good festival or a bad festival and they move on and like then you'll see a couple of people Instagram but let's just create festival posters and get the buzz.

Okay. So it needs that. We need to have a poster. I feel like we need to release a bunch of people. People go to these festivals for the Instagram pictures. I just searched Coachella on Twitter and the first the first article says report Coachella attendees suffer massive herpes outbreak. Oh, wow.

That's awesome. We need a name. We need a name. Well, so. I wrote down some names. I thought. But here's the thing. We need, do people still buy like t-shirts from festivals?

We need wristbands. We'll sell the t-shirts, wristbands and release like a bunch of backdrop so people can take their own picture. Right. In front of a green screen or whatever. And then that's where they are. I feel like it was an awesome time. Yeah.

And then. And so here are a couple of names I'm going to throw out there. Happy life. Okay. Happy life festival. Broken wheel. That sounds like maybe Southwest. Broken spoke.

Nice bar. Denarius. Okay. All right. Time warp. Time warp. Okay. Time warp sounds good.

Time warp into the future or into the past. Or both. You decide. Yeah. Yeah. Sound zoo. Okay. Yeah.

Sound zoo. That's got to exist already. Sound zoo. Sound zoo. I think there's a electric zoo. Yep. So sound zoo is something totally different. Totally different.

Yeah. Life happens. All right. Just show up. And life happens. Yeah. That is very zen. I like that.

Life happens. And then my other one was just loud noises. Okay. And it could actually just be a festival about Anchorman and Trey Wingo as the MC. He's just getting up on stage and making references. Yeah. Was that Anchorman? Yeah.

Loud noises was definitely. That was Brooke Tamlin. Okay. I like that. I think we could get this though. I feel like it's not. We're not doing the fire. We're not trying to make money.

We're not trying to defraud anyone. We're literally just trying to get viral buzz. Yeah. That's it. I'm all in. Yeah. How about Influenza. So it's like flu.

It'll go viral for influencers. Yes. I like that. I like that. I also just wrote one down. The Epic. Okay. The Epic.

All right. Epic kind of is out though. I feel like that was a few years ago. What about, you know, the more I think about the NFL draft is just Coachella for divorced dads. We should go to the NFL draft next year and treat it like Coachella. It'll take a shitload of drugs and dress in like somewhat problematic Native American garb.

Okay. And be like, we're here. We can actually call it Coachella. Yeah. Right. We're here. It's fucking sick. That's a good idea.

Yeah. This is great. All right. So I knew we'd get through it. See you guys at Coachella next year. Yeah. I knew we'd get through it. Where is the draft next year?

Nashville again. They like to do these things in two-year spurts. That's true. I don't know. Two-year contracts. They do the KD. Las Vegas. Yeah.

That would be great. Mystery Alaska. Where is it, Hank? Give it to us. Stats Department. Give it to me raw. And Hank Stats Department is broken. Hank Stats Department is still broken.

Dominate Hank Stats Department. Get him. Get him, PFT. Take him down. Take him down. Hank's getting crushed. Las Vegas. Oh, wow.

That was easy. This is going to be the sickest festival of all time. That was easy. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Coachella in Las Vegas. In Las Vegas. And it's just us getting obnoxiously fucked up on weird drugs at the NFL draft.

Can't relate. All right. Let's get to our interview with Christian Yelich, NLMVP. Now, we did this interview on Thursday. Seems like he tweaked his back today, PFT. Yeah. Listen. Las Vegas.

Thank you, Hank. Confirmed. I am not happy about it, but I'm not not happy about it. Right. We don't root for injuries, especially for our friends. Nope. Christian's a friend. He's an actor.

You'll hear it in the interview. It sucks ass. What a nice person he is. I really wish he was a dickhead. Yeah. Because I would feel a lot better about really going after him. Right. But he's a very, very nice human being and so on.

Great guy. I'm not happy that he tweaked his back. It was his lower back, right? Yeah. So it could have been his ass. Yeah. Your ass is just as low as you can go on your back. He also, we also had Travis Shaw in the room.

I'm pretty sure Christian just brought Travis Shaw to make sure that Christian didn't drink any of our drinks. Mm-hmm. So. And to chew gum. Yeah, he came here to do two things. Did we get that out of the audio? Chew gum.

Okay, good. There we go. So you won't even hear it, but he was chewing gum. And I'm all out of Travis Shaw's gum. Yeah. All right, here we go. Before we get to Christian Yalich, Stitch Fix. Listen, I use Stitch Fix.

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You get $100 free, $100 free code PMT. Okay, here he is, NLMVP, Christian Yelich. Okay, we now welcome on Milwaukee Brewers superstar Travis Shaw and the runner-up to the 2018 NLMVP race, Christian Yelich. Was it like when he lost? It was a great feeling. Honestly, one of the best days of my life. I don't even know how to start this.

I'll start. Fuck you. There we go. Christian Yelich is back on the show. We need you to help be like, I don't know, like an unbiased party, basically just the mediator to decide this. Travis, on my side. First, I wanted to see if you wanted anything to drink, Christian.

I'm good. Yeah, I'm properly hydrated. Make sure there's a diet for you, though. Get some caffeine. There's nothing in it. You saw me. It's like a doctor order. You saw me undo the cap, so you're fine.

No, so Christian is here and Travis, they're playing the Mets this weekend. We're probably going to run this on Monday. Where do we want to start? Wherever you want. Got your friendship, how close you guys have gotten over the last week or so, two weeks. Let's start with this. Last time we had you on was the All-Star game. Yeah.

You hit a home run in the All-Star game. Since then, you've hit a billion home runs. What the fuck? Yeah, I don't know, man. Are you in the zone? No, honestly, I just went to the cage after the first day back from the All-Star break and I'm going to stand a little bit taller and we'll just see what happens. That's what I used to say.

Are you being serious? Yeah, no, I'm telling you exactly what happened. In high school, I used to stand pretty tall in my stance and then I kind of got away from that for a while or whatever. I was not feeling the greatest at the plate going into the All-Star break. I didn't hit anything at the All-Star. I didn't hit VP either day, home run derby day or All-Star game day. Then I took 15 flips in the cage or front of the game just to not blow out,

just to get a little bit loose. Then that's all I did. Hit a home run in the game, went back to Milwaukee, first day back, second half. I'm going to stand a little taller in the cage. Let's see what happens. Cool things after that. 38 home runs since then. I was looking at the numbers.

Travis, I'll tell you. You'd hit like 60 home runs if it was on pace for a full season. You hit, you have 13 this year so far? Yeah. All at home. Got to mention that. Travis, has he become a diva ever since he won the MVP? Not too bad.

See? Travis, my friend. They say you start to see the ball a little bit bigger. I've started to be seeing, like Big Cat's ass has looked a little bit bigger to me when you've been on this streak. Is that true that you see like the ball looks like a beach ball coming in? No. I mean, you know, beauty's in the eye of the beholder, man.

Is it wild though to have, like people are actually talking about the Barry Bonds treatment with you now. Is that crazy? A little bit. Yeah. A little. But it hasn't gotten. I mean, no one's ever going to do what Barry did in this game. That was unbelievable things he was doing.

I haven't. You got to start like wrapping up with all sorts of armor around your shoulder. Like get, get basically shoulder pads, like a full football uniform. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. That was awesome. You, I read an article that someone, someone wrote an article that basically it was like

Christian Yelich was a fringe Hall of Famer. And then in the last 400 played appearances, he's become a sure no doubter Hall of Famer. No, we got a long haul. That literally, I read that article. You read that article. No, I haven't seen that article. You saw that article. He probably printed it out and played passing out to the whole fucking club.

We got a long way to go before we even start talking about that. I guess I haven't done anything. Travis, I got a question for you. Last year, obviously you guys win game 163 against the Cubs at Wrigley Field. Do you think it was kind of cheap because the Cubs had played so much playoff baseball and they were really tired? No. Okay.

How was that? Was that a good day for you too? I had a great time that day. That was a really fun day. Did you win the title? Was it? Actually, you can go ahead. You gloat because I talked shit at All Star Break last year.

You did. And how like was it like awesome to be able to celebrate on Wrigley Field game 163? Yes. Does that kind of feel 163 in front of Cubs fans who don't really like us too much? Nope. Yeah, at all. Like not even a little bit. No, the rivalry is on.

I think I said the rivalry wasn't on in the All Star Break. No, it is now. Well, Cole Hamels kind of backed us into a rivalry because when you say there is no rivalry, that's a rivalry. I think it also depends on the fact that like you guys, you guys beat them. Was it technically the playoffs or not? Because we had a big argument about this game 163, is that? It doesn't count as a playoff game, but it sure as hell felt like a playoff game.

Yeah. Yeah. So it's technically counts as a regular season game. It's the next game. Right. But 163, it meant something though. Right. Yeah.

The bad though was the, it's a stupid with Karabas, who you guys obviously know, but like he thinks that the wild card game is not the playoffs. I don't think it is either. What are you talking about? It's one game. You lost. But you still are in the playoffs. If you win all the games from that point on.

It's like a playing game to get in the playoffs. But that's the playoffs. You're in the playoffs. You lose, you go home. See, the thing about that is though, is like we both had the two best records internationally. Yep. Two days before that, and then one, a day after that, one team was gone. Not even in the playoffs at all.

Yeah. Like that's kind of where you got a raw deal. Like we would feel the same way if we lost 163, lost the wild card game. Like man, this sucks. We went into it when we played 163. Like we got two chances to get into the actual thing. Like if we win this game or we win the next game. Yeah.

I blacked out that entire postseason. You guys, did you guys lose in seven? Seven. Yeah. How was game seven like? It was awesome before and then afterwards it sucked. Yeah. I mean, game seven is for real, man.

Like that is, there is a lot of emotions going on before that game, during that game, that you want to talk about feeling all kind of like living. Yeah. Go play at game seven in front of 50,000 people that you know everybody's watching where if you do something to win this game, they're going to build a statue for you. Do something to lose this game. You're not even going to be allowed back in the state ever again in your life. Do you still get nervous before those games?

Oh yeah. Everybody does. Was the energy higher for game seven in the NLCS or when the Cubs fans take over Miller Park in like game, you know, 82? We don't mind. I mean, honestly, we don't mind that because it's fun. I mean, if we win Cubs fans made that whole trip up there just to watch them lose. It's an hour and 20 minutes.

They were going to go anyways. It's so easy. I mean, I don't really blame them. It's a roof. It's nicer. You know what I mean? Oh, you should actually say that do it Ozzy again. Be like, there's rats in Wrigley.

No, I actually really got the visiting clubhouse. Everything got a lot nicer. I was hoping they never would change it and it would just be like the shitty old clubhouse for the visitors and the home team gets a nice one. Oh, it still was last year. Oh, it was. And they just changed it. This is the first year.

So we haven't been back there this year. So we haven't seen it. But last year was like, yeah. It's like this. It's like this. Yeah. No, it's about this big. Dan Herron said that you literally would just have to all shut like everyone would

just shower like basically shoulder to shoulder. It's like this. It really is like this wide. It's for real. I like that though. They should definitely keep it that way. What's the motivation to make it nice for your opponent? I don't think you have to like probably make it something.

The rules. Yeah. You have to make an improvement to your stadium one way every single year. Yeah. You have to like make sure the water doesn't have chemicals in it and shit. Yeah. So like two years ago last year was a dugout. Yeah.

The dugouts better. And then this year is the. It just wasn't good for it. It wasn't just not good for the visiting team like the visiting clubhouse staff. Like everybody that had to be in there, it was just making life difficult on them. Yeah. I know it's an advantage for the visiting team, but even like Cubs personnel that had to work there.

Like it's just. Yeah. Yeah. I've been in the grounds through like locker room and that was a closet. Yeah. It's a cool. I really like playing there though. Just cause like yeah.

It is. I love it. It's fun. It's a good time. It's a good atmosphere when our two teams play each other because the two fanbases hate each other. Yeah. The two teams we really don't.

There's not really. Who do you hate on the Cubs? No. We don't really. That's the thing is like we don't really hate each other. Give me one name. Let's get the rivalry going. I don't like Rizzo, do you?

No, Rizzo's awesome. Fuck. I know he is. He's fucking awesome. Yeah. Rizzo's awesome. KV's cool, man. Well, no one can say anything bad.

Shwerber's the best. Yeah. You don't like Javi because he won that MVP over you. Interesting. Uh-huh. It's a unique way to look at it, but. So. Sprite.

I don't know. Drink up. Drink up. There's something in my house that says otherwise. You're all skin and bones. Look at that. Or you can just drink this water that we made for you. Yeah.

It's good. I made sure that me and Travis got properly hydrated before we came over here. And he's got 13 home runs. Is your record any indication of the fact that he's killing too many rallies? No, that's the only way we score. If we don't homer, we don't score. Are you guys at the point now where you're like expecting Christian to hit a home run basically every time?

I mean, that stretch where you had a week where it was like, I feel like every time I went on Twitter, you hit a home run. What is it like for the teammates when a guy gets hot like that? As soon as he starts to swing, you think it's going to be a home run. Yeah. Yeah. Literally every time. For sure.

Yeah. For everybody in this room. Anyone can have a hot week. I like the fact that you're doing all this damage against the Cardinals because it does play mind games with Big Cat because he hates the Cardinals. More. But it's like the enema of my enema is my friend in this case. Right.

In your case. Yeah. In both your cases. Yeah. Absolutely. Just a tough situation for everybody. Do you actually think we would slip steroids into your drink? I mean, you know, it's a high stakes game right now for everybody involved.

You know what I mean? Like, let's just pretend it's not even taping right now. I would like to think no. Because I would. No, I would. Yeah. Yeah, the answer is yes. Yes.

I actually have a deal. I got a deal for you. I've been thinking about this a lot. How about I will take all the money that I have right now in my Cash App account. So it's like 250 bucks. And I'll donate it to the ASPCA if you agree not to participate in the home run derby. You know, here's the thing is like, you want to kill dogs? No, it's what the people want at this point.

Like, I don't even know if I wanted to do it at this time. Wait. I don't even have like, I don't even know like. Are you declaring that you're in it? No, because I haven't been invited. See, the thing is, I'd have to make the All Star team. I'd have to. Probably not going to happen.

I'd have to go there and be a part of it. And then it just depends how you're feeling at the time, like body wise, health wise. And usually it would probably be something that I'm like, I don't know if I want to do it. But I feel like if I get invited to do it, I almost have to at this point. You know what I mean? You saw what happened to Josh Hamilton. The people want it. You got to, you know, what the people want, you got to give them.

You can ruin your swing. And I feel like this is what the people want. No, because I do it every day in BP no matter what. You can ask Travis. Like, that's just a normal day for me. You only try to hit home runs? Yeah. It's a normal day for me.

His BP pitcher just throws him cutters, so he just hits homers every pitch. That's, no, but it can ruin. First of all. No, it's what I do. First of all, if you keep going at this pace, you're going to ruin your swing anyways. You're going to just get too tired by the All Star break. That's just what, that's like my regular, that's what I was trying to tell you guys that the thing is like, it's just a regular BP routine.

You did warn us. So like, that is not even, like some guys say that rooms are swinging because they're just trying to hit homers, but like, that's what, that's a, that's a Tuesday afternoon at three thirties for me every day. What's get the juices going though? There's going to be so much adrenaline if you make it to the final round. You're going to pull something. Yeah.

It's a lot of swings, man. I don't even think it's about if I win or lose. I think, you know, you guys are just, you just want to make that sweat. You're going to be having a tough night regardless until either I'm eliminated from that thing or, you know. What can we do to maybe change? I don't think anyone wants to see me and PFD eat each other's asses. Right?

I mean, I told you not to do that. I tried to tell you not to do that. There's ways out of it for sure. Yeah. I just don't, I haven't really thought about it. What's your charity? We can just give a shit little money to your chick. We buy our way out of this.

Yeah. Like right now, since you're not accepting my offer, you're killing puppies. Yeah. You understand that if you participate. The puppies will be fine. You're murdering dogs. Okay. The fans would donate like in the opposite.

Here's the question. I'm sure we could find somebody out there who'd donate 250 bucks. There's someone who's been on the internet eating ass yourself. Do you have any tips? If PFD and I caught a little piece of our ass off and put it in a stew. See, that was phenomenal. That's one of my all-time favorite texts I think I've ever gotten from anybody in my entire life.

I bet you guys actually had a conversation about that. What did I say to you? It's on you though because I didn't tell you to make that bet. I didn't bet you. You volunteered that and told me that I wouldn't. I didn't even want to do that. Yeah. I don't think that your brain would have gone there.

It's just like when we start talking, sometimes we don't stop talking fast enough and we get to these weird places where we make promises that really get ourselves literally in a hole. Yeah. So this is going to be very, very tough. You're in a fairly deep one. Yeah. That was deep as his belly button. I texted Chris.

I said, PFD and I had a real conversation about cutting skin off our asses and eating it to avoid the alternative. It was shockingly serious. Yeah. We did. We literally sat there and were like, okay. What if we just become cannibals? I mean, I don't know if that's the thing.

I was like, I don't know if anyone really wants to see that. I don't think people would want to see that happen. I don't think people would want to see that happen. I think people would watch. I think that nobody would enjoy it. Orange Vanilla Coke. But they would watch. Yeah.

Trick out. How many stars have you got over there, man? We had a lot of steroids, so we had to make sure that they all get into everything. I have a serious question. If you were a free agent right now, how much money do you think you would fetch on the open market? Ooh. I have no idea.

Probably more than I'm making right now, but yeah. When are you a free agent? Three years. Yeah. Do you regret signing the contract so early? No. Because at the time, it was the right decision. If I obviously knew that I was going to go on and do what I did in my career, I wouldn't

have done that. Yeah. But at the time, yeah. I mean, it was the right decision for sure, and I got to live with it. How much? You probably make like, what, 350, 375? Mike Trout? Mike Trout money?

Depends how the rest of the year went. Yeah. Not Mike Trout money, no. No, not Mike Trout. How much money did you give us for motivating you? Because it literally is, all start or break, we talk, we have a great interview, we say this stuff, then 400 played appearance after that, you hit 38 home runs and go win the NLMVP, go off on a tear this year.

Yeah. I mean, things escalated fairly quickly for all involved in this matter, for you two, for myself. You know what? Life got crazy. Now that I'm thinking about it? Now that I'm thinking about it? Life comes at you fast, man.

It does. You know what I'm thinking about it? I think that we should legally be able to be out of this bet, and PFT, your lawyer, he changed his stance. I'm the minister. He changed his stance. That's not fair. You're right.

You totally changed the bet. It's kind of false advertising. Yeah. No, no, no. We were talking about three all-star game stans. Yeah. I thought that you stood like 6'1", 6'2", in the box. Now you're looking like you're standing 6'3".

Bullshit. Yeah. I always, this was all about BP. This never had anything to do with anything that had ever happened in the game. We were never even talking about the games. Remember, we were talking about, hey, BP and you're like, nah, bullshit. I was like, yeah. Well, no.

But have you ever considered batting right-handed? It's horrendous. Really? Right-handed. Yeah. I wish you could see what it looks like. I wish I could too. You should probably do it.

It's terrible. I wouldn't even be able to make contact with it right-handed. Serious question. What is going on with the splits? You've not hit a home run on the road. You've hit 13 at home. I'm going to keep bringing this up. What is going on?

Yeah. Nine games into the season on the road or something. That's what's going on. That's a pretty big sample size. Man. I've always actually been a pretty better road player than a home player in my career, actually, which is, it's just baseball is a weird sport, one weird baseball stat. Is it weird or is it the fact that you guys don't have the walkie-talkie system set up

on the road where you can call in every pitch that you're seeing? Everyone thinks that we're, I mean, it's a little suspicious. There are teams that think that. Very suspicious. There are teams that do think we do that. There's very suspicious. Yeah. Yeah.

Keeping the balls in a humidifier or something like that. I thought it was just that you really enjoy the slide. I love, Bernie's slide is, they shoot fireworks off after homers at home too. It's cool, man. That's pretty dangerous inside. Which one do you like more, the slide or the old center field thing out in the Marlin Stadium with the fish that just like jump in the air? RIP.

Yeah. It's gone, but which one took it out? Did you like that one better or do you like the slide? I like the slide. Have you made amends with Derek Jeter? I have never spoken on. Still? You've never, I mean, he has no reason.

He just traded you without speaking to you? Yeah. But we don't, yeah, he doesn't have to talk to me or anything like that, but we never, we never had a conversation. Are you using, what's more motivation, us or Derek Jeter? Oh, definitely you guys. Yeah. Travis, I got a question for you.

You played in obviously the AL and the NL toughest pitcher that you've had to face. Chapman. Ooh. Yeah. Okay. Throw in that 99 gas 101. Yeah. I believe that.

Left on left. Yes. Yes. What about you? Actually Clayton Richard. Oh, okay. Did not expect that. Yeah.

Did not expect that. Keep skirt. Yeah. What's the point? Like how do you get Christian Yelich out? Like what's your biggest weakness, you would say? I mean, honestly, but I feel good up there. I don't know.

I feel like I can. There's got to be something that you like. For me, I feel like it's always in my control or if I don't feel great. That's when I tend to struggle, but if I can get myself to where I'm supposed to feel like the feel that I want, then I feel like I like my chance. What keeps you from feeling great, like not enough sleep? No, it's just a baseball thing, man. It's hard to explain.

It's really, really hard to explain like phone calls in the middle of the night. Like that would fuck you up. Do you have routines where you do the same thing every day? Not really. No. I'm just, I'm pretty laid back. Go with the flow. I mean, I do certain things every day.

This isn't the bullshit about it. Okay. You're too likable. Like you actually, I like you and then you do this stuff. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, no, you, you need to become a villain. Get everyone to start meeting you.

I might be here in July. No, just us. You would actually be everybody's here. The tough part about this, this bet that we've talked ourselves into is that literally everybody's on your side and nobody is rooting for me and big cat to knot each other's butts. I know, but you guys aren't technically in the hot seat yet. Like when it, if, if actually I have to enter it first, things have to happen. Are you worried about an injury?

Possibly. Yeah. I'd be five. What about a steroid? What about this test? Steroid scandals. Just whispers. I kind of hope you get caught up in steroids.

Cause I never would blame us. That's so messed up. It'd be fucking hilarious. That's so messed up. You know, actually the worst possible scenario for us would be if you won the home run derby, we went through with a bet and then you got busted. So I hope that that doesn't happen. I'd say probably in the clear, you were like a beanpole.

194 pounds. Yes. So yeah, you're good on that. Um, I have a theory that the, uh, the radar guns at these stadiums or they're skewed so that it looks like people are pitching faster these days. Those things are dead on, man. Hey guys, we're throwing so hard these days. Really?

Yeah. Cause like I've seen like when, when Chapman used to throw, it would be like every pitch 102, 103 miles an hour and I was like, there's no chance that's real. It's real. Oh, it's real. It's coming in hot. Can you tell the difference between 101 mile an hour fastball and a 99 mile an hour fastball? Not really.

There's a point where it all be, it just all becomes the same. What's, what's harder to hit like 101 pretty straight or some like nasty movement in the high 80s? Cause I feel like that's the thing. It depends. Yeah. I mean, it just depends. Chapman's a good thing when he's got the gas, but it's the movement that really does it

to you. That's the thing. I wish people in baseball like, like I wish you guys could. Do, do it. Like see that yourself and then make the decision because it's just different for every pitch is different. Like some guys see the guy that throws 102 really well and then the guy that throws 89 90 is deceptive and his ball moves really late and he's the tougher guy to hit, but

it's just all, it's all relative. And I might say one guy and you might say the other guy, it's just everybody sees people different. Clayton Richard might be able to get you out. Who's the most deceptive guy? Like they're actually, let me ask this way, who's like windup kind of screws you up timing wise the most? Jansen.

Yeah. I was going to say a Kenley Jansen type guy. Yeah. He's just so big to even when he's coming forward, his legs are so long that he just takes, he lets the ball go so far out front, like he's letting that thing go like in the grass. So it really just, it's a combination of all the above, but it's just, yeah, it's weird how it's hard to explain it until like you've actually been in there.

Cause then you can be like, Oh, I see where you're coming from or like I relate. I don't see this guy good. Yeah. Like I'm like one for 20 off Quintana. Really? Yeah. He doesn't, he doesn't get a painting. Yeah.

I don't, I don't get the play. It's just really well against us. Yeah. He's back. If it's the eighth inning of a blowout, which one of you guys would step into pitch first? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. He can't throw. Do you ever practice on the out there? Yeah. Do you ever practice just like fucking around if I have to step in? Oh yeah. We do. Everybody does that.

You get on the gun. Right now? Yeah. Not even that. Weak arm. I knew that about you. He's throwing a jump. I have a great arm.

See, look, the thing is it's way harder to hit 90 miles an hour on the mountain than people think. Like guys, even position players that have really good arm, like it's just hard to do it for some reason. Right. Yeah. I could probably hit 90 like across the infield, but I don't think I could hit 90 off the mound.

That's crazy. That's got to be a mental thing to do. If you did, you just wouldn't be able to lift your arm up either. Right. Right. When you guys face you, Darvish, are you just like I'll just wait it out cause we'll just throw balls? We've only faced him one time since he's been a cub.

Okay. Oh yeah, cause he just doesn't pitch. That's right. Yeah. Fuck. Do you guys have any weird shit in your contracts? Best walkout song in the big leagues though. What is his walkout song right now?

Soldier Boy. Oh. That's pretty cool. That is sick. The whole crowd sings it too. That is sick. I mean, he literally has only played like six games. The song he comes out to the pitch is like, yeah, it's definitely.

Yeah. The stars align like that and you've just got a song with your name in it, you have to roll with it. I feel like you do, right? Yeah. Do you ever, or do you have any weird shit in your contract that say that you're not allowed to play basketball or you're not allowed to do. Yeah.

I have all that stuff. You do. What aren't you allowed to do? Everything. So why'd you play those last night? Basketball. Basketball. See, here's the thing.

It's not that you can't do it. Say if you get hurt doing it, that's when it becomes like an issue. So you can do whatever you want. Like you can go skydiving. If you land, everything's cool. So if you die, they're not going to press you out. Right. Basically.

Are you addicted to skydiving? No, I've never been. I'm just using that as an example. Got it. Interesting. I have a question about this stupid fucking story that went viral because you're such a nice guy. The kids that came to the game and they said, if you hit a home run Christian, our dad will

get a puppy. Yeah. And then they got a puppy. I did. And you brought it to them. Yeah. What happens if you get traded? What do you mean?

You're going to fucking break those little girls' hearts. You named the puppy after you, you narcissistic asshole. I didn't name it. They named it. They named it. They named it. So what happens? Yeah.

They're like, hey, little Susie and Kim, just so you know, your dog's named after a steroid guy. Uh-huh. That would be tough. I mean, this guy wants to have it so bad. I understand. No. So what would answer the question?

It's a great dog. It is a cute dog. Yeah. But did you think it was kind of bullshit? Like you knew you were going to go viral with the home runs and dogs? You didn't want to add bacon to that mix and just pander to the entire internet? Well, I actually, here's the thing, I saw the sign before the game and then I completely forgot about it.

And then I hit a homer and Moose was like, hey, man, that's really tight. I was like, what do you mean? And he goes, you just want someone a puppy. Oh yeah, I remember that. And then I kind of like, oh yeah, that's cool. Like I don't know if they're ever going to get the dog. Uh-huh. And then like the brewers came to me afterwards and they're like, hey, listen, like they're

really getting this dog and they would like you to give it to the kids and they're going to bring the dog at like four and the dog's actually going to be a service dog is one of the girls. God damn it's such a dick. One of the girls is diabetic, so it's going to be like, tell her it's going to be the six year olds and they'll tell her, uh, her blood sugar. Insulin's low. Yeah.

So the dogs are going to save lives. Yeah. Basically. So you, you save the dog's life. That's going to save other lives. You saved the girl's life by saving the dog's life. Yeah. You're paying it forward.

Yeah. Have you ever made a promise about home runs that you haven't fulfilled? Like when Babe Ruth was like, I'll hit two for you. No. Like you don't hear about the ones that don't come true. True. That's true. Yeah.

I don't, I don't think I've ever done that though where I've been like, I'm going to hit a home run for you tonight and then I don't do it because I just usually don't ever say that. I just happen to see the sign. Now there's a lot of signs like that in Miller Park. Yeah. There's a lot of clout of puppy signs. Yeah.

Now there's going to be, you know what? That's the spin zone. There's probably a bunch of strays out there now because people are getting puppies because he's hitting home runs and they're not ready for a dog and the dog barks and they're like, fuck it. Let's leave it in a trash can. That's on you buddy. That's not on me.

Yeah. I didn't leave it outside. I didn't leave it outside. Stop hitting home runs and maybe these puppies won't get adopted by families that can't own dogs. Are you thirsty by the chance? You hungry? I have no problem.

I need some steroids for sure. What do you want? Dr. Pepper? Sprite line? Oh, so you can get that orange vanilla coat. Yeah, orange vanilla. You're a big fan of this one. Yeah.

Come on. So I'm going to name a hypothetical dog that's in a shelter right now in an ASPA shelter. Its name is now Chrissy. It's named after you. It's a girl dog. And I will personally pay to have somebody adopt Chrissy if you bow out of the home run contest. I'm not even in it yet though.

But you're going to be in it. I don't know if I'm going to be in it. This fake humility? This fake humility stuff? How much do we have to pay you? Really grab my gears. How much do we have to pay you to not be in it? For real?

Like let's just, you know what? Turn off the mic, Hank. Let's get down to brass. Okay, we're not recording. What do we have to pay you for you not to be in the home run contest? I can't be bought, man. I'm a man of the people. I can't be bought.

A billion dollars. I can't be bought. I literally am offering you a billion dollars. I can't do it. That's, you're an idiot. Now you're just dumb. I can't do it. A billion dollars and you won't do it.

I can't do it. The people never forgive me, man. Oh my God. I didn't say I'm going to do it either though. That's true. I didn't say I was going to do it. I didn't say I'm not going to do it. You want to make a sweat until the very last possible second.

We'll just see what happens. How it unfolds. Is this like a just a this year thing or is this like for the rest of my career thing? I think it's just this year. This year. Yeah, we just clarify. I think it says if you run the tape. No, we just clarify.

It says if you ever, if you ever. No, I think it's just this year. If you ever, right? Ever this year. Never. We got to go with what the tape says. It's not really. Right.

Let me follow up on this. You said that. So we have to go with what you said. Yeah. I'm going to be a father, dude. It's the rules. I'm going to be a father. I can't eat his ass.

It's a fuck. They're going to have the talk at some point. I think that's a good intro. I've got a dog that looks up to me. All right. Like he's running out of place. My dog thinks I shoot the moon. I come home and he's so happy to see me.

Everybody makes mistakes, man. He understands. That dog is going to be so ashamed. Your dog understands. Everyone makes mistakes. He's going to listen to me one more. He eats ass. Dude, my kid's going to be like two weeks old and the first thing is dad doesn't eat

dogs. Dogs do that all the time. You'll understand. That's true. He licks his own butt. He's got a friend dog that licks his form. I'm panicking. You've got to start doing diapers.

You've got to get used to ass in general. It was all for you a billion dollars. We could maybe like. No. We could do something. You could do something. Yeah. Spin zone is.

I don't think that's an option. Once you see. Everyone's shaking their head. Like, no. Once you see my butt, big cat, a baby's butt is going to look like a clean dinner plate. Do you guys love Wisconsin? I do. Yeah.

Cheese curds? Ooh. Why not? I just haven't really had. All right. Yeah. You've been to cruising chubbies in the Wisconsin Dells? No.

It's a great strip club. Yeah. It's a great strip club. You like culvers? What's your order at Culver's? What's Culver's? What's Culver's? Come on, man.

Come on. Fast food. You live in Wisconsin. Do you not? I don't really go anywhere. I don't really go anywhere. Where do you guys live? Third Ward?

Yeah. You do? Yeah. Damn, nailed that. You're so fucking basic. Just convenient, man. I nailed it. I nailed that.

It actually is a nice name. You spent some time around the Third Ward? Yeah. I mean, I love Milwaukee. It's a great city. It really is. When are we going to see up there at some point? I'm up there.

I think we're going to go. I think we're going to go to the Miller factory. Yeah. Culver's game will come. Absolutely. At some point in the summer or something? In that soulless stadium that you have that's like walking in the halls of a fucking Walmart. Maybe you guys can eat the ass going down the slide.

Maybe we can arrange for that. Have you guys met Yanis? I haven't yet. I was actually supposed to. What? I was going to after in spring training after the Suns game, but I thought they were going to beat the Suns and they didn't beat the Suns. So I was like, yeah.

Suns are really interesting. It'll happen at some point. We were at the playoffs game the other day and then we ended up leaving early. Have you met Aaron Rodgers? Once, yeah. He's done with you now? He's cool. He probably doesn't even remember it because it was a few years ago.

I haven't been since I've been a brewer or not. What do you think about people who are like the heyday, I think I actually said it, the heyday of Milwaukee sports with Yanis and you. I guess you throw Aaron Rodgers in him, but he's over the hill. Is that kind of crazy? Yeah. It's a little weird sometimes. Yeah.

I feel like you haven't had it set in yet. It's not happened very, very, very, very quickly. Because the NL MVP did. I mean, when we sat at the ulcer game, that wasn't really on the table. It wasn't even thought. Right. Right. And then you guys just got.

That's a real question. The end of last year, obviously the brewers become like the hottest team. What's it like when you're playing for a team that's just rolling? Do you guys just feel like everything's just going to go your way every single time you play? Yeah. We thought we were going to win every single game and it's just every bounce. That's got to be such.

You're just playing really well. Like everything's just rolling. Like it's just hard to, another thing. It's hard to explain. It's just like a feeling that you have that like, hey, listen, it's just going to, we're just going to win. Yeah. Even if you get behind early, it's like, it's fine.

We're going to win the 163. We're like, we're going to win. It's cool, man. Like it'll be fine. We're just going to go play this nine innings and then it's going to be fine. It's going to work out, which is not probably a really normal thing. It's just a confidence that ends up building over time and like the whole team just carries it in.

Right. And like our formula for winning last year was just like, be winning by the sixth. And then if we get to the sixth with our bullpen. Right. It's a rat most days. It's so weird how like confidence kind of feeds into itself. So if you feel confident, you're going to do all the little things better just because like, you know, that's how the human brain works is like, if you expect things to go

your way. Trick your mind. Yeah. You don't stop. Like you don't outthink yourself if you're feeling confident. Do you guys see like, is there a sports psychologist on the brewers or anything like that that helps you guys deal with visual, visualization, all that shit? We have a guy, but I mean, yeah, it wasn't, it was just like we got in a role.

We got on a role. I think we ended up winning like into the playoffs. It was like a 13 or 14 game win streak. We had to win all nine games at the end of the season, even get the 163. And then once we did that, we were just rolling like we're, everything was just going like everybody was playing or pitching while we were hitting well, both of them was pitching well. It was like once, once that happens, you're good.

This is a real, maybe awkward question, probably not, but the Josh Hader thing obviously made a huge storyline all star game. I'm always curious. We see the reaction right away. The brewers, your teammates, everyone gets kind of behind him a little bit and like, look, he was young. He makes mistakes. Like, like two or three days after, when the cameras are not on him, when it's not a national

storyline, is it like awkward, like, Hey, someone breaks the ice, makes a joke, or is it like, all right, this is kind of weird. No, I mean, that happened, it had a lot of attention at the time. He had to address the team. That wasn't the guy that any of us knew in the clubhouse. Like if you knew him, like if you ever met him or spent time around him, like you would never like, you wouldn't even, that wouldn't even cross your mind. Like that thought when this guy is like, easy going, like hippie, just chilling, like super

laid back, super nice guy. And yeah, just unfortunate that it happened. It's happened to a lot of people like recently, but yeah, it was definitely an interesting couple of days as an interesting flight back from DC. You felt form and away. Were you with him? Yeah. Yeah.

Right. So is the two of you. It was all of us who were there. We had a couple of planes back actually from the All-Star game. So we, yeah, it was with me, him, and I forgot who else was on ours. And yeah, we didn't, there was not a whole lot of talking going on. Like I felt for him just because it's a tough situation to go through. Like it was bad and he felt really bad about it.

It's something that he had to answer for and explain and we understood that. We were just like, Hey man, just, he talked to the team one day after the, like the first day back that we had like a team meeting about it. And then after that it was like, Hey man, like we don't know that guy. We're only going to judge you for the person that we know you to be that since we've been around and it's been, it's been fine ever since. It's kind of a cautionary tale. Like don't do too well in the All-Star game, otherwise people will start digging up that

old video of you eating that person's ass. Well, it was just like, yeah, they did it. They did it to him. Like he didn't even, as soon as he came in from the bullpen, like somebody was just holding on to that. Right. Right. Which is kind of, it's like, it's bad that he did that and it's bad also for the person

that dug that up. Held on to it. And then held on to it. It's like, how... It doesn't progress anything. Right. It doesn't make it right. It doesn't make what he did right or anything like that, but like, I love the guy.

He's an awesome guy. Like I consider him a really good friend. But yeah, he had to answer for what he did, but also at the same time, like the person that's holding on to something like that that happened nine years ago or whatever, however long ago it was, to wait till someone's like biggest moment in their life to like try and destroy it. Like if they're home run derby. Yeah.

Right. Did they, why would you do that? They figured out who it was that started that whole thing. I'm not really sure. It just gets passed around and lost to you three. Yeah. So there was like a team meeting scheduled for that? Well, yeah, I mean, it had to be something that you like have to address or have to talk

about. You know what I mean? Right. We've got guys on our team that that's going to really affect and you don't want to have it go down that road to where it ruins team chemistry or anything like that. And it didn't. Like we got such a close knit clubhouse and guys are like, guys just didn't know him to be that guy.

He was at some point when he was 16 or 17 years old. But the guy that I know, the guy that we knew, like he wasn't like that. And he was really like, he was taking it pretty tough and you felt for him in a way after that. Cause like that just sucks, man. Like, especially if you haven't acted like that or you don't really believe someone to be that way and then you have to wear that. Like some of them were, some of them were bad, some of them were movie quotes, some of them

were rap lyrics. Like you can't, you can't do that. Like you can't ever say that or tweet that thing, but it's just like you kind of under, you kind of felt form in a way of just like, Hey man, you should, that was a mistake. You really messed up. But you don't really believe you, we don't really believe you to be like that. It's something he's going to have to deal with still going forward and for the rest of his life.

But yeah, it's just, it was a tough situation. Sure. Okay. A follow up question. Which is your favorite sausage that does the racing? I couldn't even name all five of them. Honestly. Yeah.

I don't know. I know. It's Teresa. Yeah. Yeah. There's a brat. Yeah. I'd probably pick the Kilbasa.

Yeah. The boss is pretty good. The boss is pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. Sour crowd on there. Yeah. You ever think about taking a bath to one of them?

Nah. It turns out that has been done before. It's always fun. It's not the best idea. Pirates. That was awesome. There's been better ideas. Yeah.

If anybody's like dressed up in one of those mascot uniforms, it feels like it should be okay to tackle them. But it turns out. I agree. You can actually hurt somebody. Yeah. Like I'm glad that that person got in trouble for it. Not me because I didn't know.

I didn't know it was real human in there. You got to be thirsty. I don't think you realize yet that we're going to do this interview for the next six hours until you are like, I need to drink. I got it. And then you have to drink one of my steroid sodas. That's just how you're going to get out of this. Can you get, can you do, if you like shake someone's hand, can you pass steroids to them?

I don't think so. Interesting. Interesting. A spray bottle. Yeah. Like just have a little on my fingertip. Nah. And then just get in your mouth.

That's how the North Koreans do it. Yeah. You know, I think it's just one of those things. So we just got to see how this plays out. It's only fair. I mean, we're just going to let, I mean, we're just going to let fate decide at this point. Either it happens or it doesn't. All right.

And you know. All right. Fine. Whatever. Last question. All the injuries that are happening to the Yankees, is that because they work out too much? Because Babe Ruth didn't work out and he never got hurt. Babe Ruth didn't work out.

That's, I mean, allegedly, right? Yes. For all we know, he didn't really work out. There's a video of him working out. Yeah, the guy like jiggles his legs and throws a medicine ball off his stomach. Yeah. That's awesome. We should try that one tomorrow.

Yeah. Yeah. Try all sorts of weird stuff. Hey, buddy. Do you think there is no, like in a real like way, do you think that weightlifting? Probably. I mean, you're a skinnier guy. Like weightlifting gets too much.

Probably. I mean, I don't really know what the reason is. Yeah. Like, I mean, I'm sure there's probably a lot of people that would love to know the reason and do a lot of research. A lot of these teams would like to know why guys keep getting hurt. I don't know. I don't know.

It could be one of those just freak baseball things just because it's just like, so much weird stuff happens in baseball. It's true. A lot of weird things happen. Tim Kirchen. Yeah. Kirchen, in fact. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

On this Wednesday, 41 years ago when the count was 2-2, it was two outs and there was a guy landing on the moon. This is only the second time in history. This guy took a called third strike with a guy on third and this umpire behind the plate. Like what? He's always got them. They're great. A good point, which is that there's nothing, like in baseball such a weird sport, there's

nothing that happens during the game with your body that the human body was actually designed to do. Yeah. It's all like unnatural. Yeah. Maybe like, maybe the swing wasn't close. But yeah. But like, you know, you watch a pitcher, you know, throw 99 miles an hour and you're like,

that is not really supposed to be able to do that. That's not a real thing. That should not happen. No. What do you bench? I haven't worked out since spring training started. And what did you bench then? Nothing.

You don't really do that. Nice. You don't do bench? So we benched more than him. Nice. How much you squat? Not a lot either. Yeah, exactly.

Thought so. Hmm. Interesting. Chicken legs. Yeah. What do you bench, Travis? He knows. Come on, you know.

I mean, I haven't done anything but dumbbell bench in years. What do you dumbbell bench? The most? Yeah. Just like 100. 100? You got me beat there? Damn it.

I thought you were going to say 25. That's what I usually throw up 25. What about curls? You guys do curls for the girls? I haven't touched the weight since I showed up. You just don't work out? I do some ab stuff, some push-up stuff. It's not for me during the year.

I just don't like how my body feels afterwards. Same. I like when I feel like... I like when I feel like looser and whipier. So there's really no difference between guys like me and you? We just don't work out. We just don't work out. Yeah, we just don't work out.

What's your diet like? I do in the off-season. It's regular. I try and be a little healthy, but I don't have this strict diet that I adhere to to where I can't eat this or I always eat this. I really, yeah, it sucks because I really like you and I consider you a friend, but I really hate you. Nah, we're friends, man.

We're friends. We're friends. We're about to be really good friends here, too, hopefully. Worst of luck. Yeah, try to hit a home run on the road. Maybe then I'll be worried. We'll see, man. It's crazy.

We'll see how it plays out. It will go all year with the QC. Yeah, all of a sudden when you don't know what pictures will cover. Yeah, it's crazy. That fake batting eye that they have for you. The thing is that BP remains the same on the road and at home. No. Don't believe it.

I don't know, Cleveland or something like that, I think it'd be the same. Do you play the Indians this year? No, we did last year. Pretty short right field in Cleveland, though. It's a pretty favorable left-handed hitting ballpark. When is the right time? It's ideal hitting conditions to right field in Cleveland. I'm serious on that.

One last question. Who would throw your batting practice in the home run? Probably the guy that does it every day. What's his name? I don't know. It'd be real shame if something happened to him. We could find other people. There's other people that have done it in the past that I feel comfortable with.

It's a good right field in Cleveland. It really is, especially for homers or like, I don't know, BP homers or something like that. Drink one of these. We got to go work on some batting practice or something. All right, fine. Good bye. See you guys. That interview with Christian Yelich was brought to you by a zip recruiter.

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Like a utopia? No, no. Like, hey, for a cold thing? No, no, no. It's a little different. So for $5,000, you can be an accountant for a weekend. Oh, it's like fantasy camp for jobs that suck. Right.

And it's just life happens. So just your life happens. And then we eventually just trick people to pay us to do work for us. What you just described was a corporation. Right. So I think you got it. Exactly where the employees pay you to do it. Right.

Life happens LLC. Yeah. What about this is so us? What do you think about that for a music festival name? It's just so us. Us, AF. Yeah. It's just so us.

And that way it's as ambiguous as you want it to be. You show up and it's like whatever you are, that's so us. It's what you make of it. So if you don't have a good time at this is so us festival, then it's your fault for just being a shitty version of us. Yeah. After this is so us festival, we'll have a tent that's the living my best life tent. Okay.

What goes on in there? You just whatever your best life is. We just hire some really good like graphic designers and make a huge green screen. And you can just come take pictures and they'll make whatever you want as the background. I like it. And you get a purple blanket and a brand new pair of Nike running shoes. And we're going to have a booth set up a Kool-Aid booth. Yeah.

So again, not a cult. It's not a cult. Okay. Let's do some segments. First up, we have, we have not done this in a long time. Spoilers. Now, we're not going to spoil anything recent. So don't you worry.

We're not going to spoil Avengers. We're not going to spoil anything that's come out in the last 10 years. But we're bringing this up because Lashawn McCoy did spoil Avengers. Yes. And Twitter was more mad at him than like Tyree Kill. Yeah. It was bad. And so he spoiled the movie about 12 hours after it came out in theaters.

Yeah. So it was in the middle of a day on a Friday and most people haven't gotten the chance to just like skip work and go see it in the morning. And so people were furious with him not only because he spoiled it, but also because he misspelled the name of the character that he was spoiling it about, meaning all these Avengers fans that had gone out of their way to set up filters to mute certain words on Twitter were still exposed to it. Oh no.

The best laid plans of mice and nerds got totally ruined by Lashawn McCoy firing off a tweet. Two tweets actually. Verbal. After he got out of the meet. Verbal meme. Lashawn McCoy is Lenny from of Mice's Men and then everyone is the little mouse. What is he?

What is he? Rabbits. Rabbits. So all you nerds are the rabbits. He just crushed you. Are your hopes and dreams. That was a spoiler in itself. There you go.

Don't read that book now. But for watching Avengers is George and then Lashawn McCoy is sitting down by the lake with you and he's Lenny. Wait, which one was a dumb oaf? Lenny. Lenny. Okay. Lenny is your excitement for watching Avengers.

George is Lashawn McCoy sitting next to you at a river with a gun to the back of his head. Yes. I do just love. I love the fact that Lashawn McCoy. This is his most hated thing ever. And this is the guy who remember he had like the parties where everyone had females only and they had to fill out like super creepy consent forms.

Yeah. But this one, this is a bridge too far Lashawn. It certainly is. Usually it's Bill's kickers that end up ruining endings for things. Most hated. Most hated Bill of all time. Yeah. Lashawn McCoy now.

But yeah, it is fucked up to spoil the Avengers because I know that people have been wanting to see that movie for a very long time. You were teasing someone in the office. I thought you were. I thought you. There was a chance on like Monday. No. Because I don't know any of the characters.

I said to him, I was like, dude, I don't know the characters. And he was like, yeah, I know you don't. It's one of those things where like I, I missed the train on this one, but I see everybody is so excited about it and they're so invested in it that you'd have to be a real dickhead to intentionally spoil it. I am. I'm legit like jealous of people. How much they love this movie and how much it means to them because it's cool to love

something like that. Like Robbie Fox. Our guy cried at the end of the movie. I was like, that's fucking awesome because guess what make the new festival, you just emote. Just everybody. Emotions. Yeah.

You feel emotions. All right. So with that said, we are going to spoil some movies over 10 years. Yeah. This is spoiled. We haven't done this in forever. Hank, you want to go? Oh, sure.

Okay. I'm going to spoil Star Wars. Episode one episode. When did that come out? 1972. That's episode. Remember they do the fucked up. Whatever.

That was episode four. Can't keep track. Qui-Gon Jinn gets split in half by Darth Maul and then Anakin Skywalker starts training with Obi-Wan. Damn. That was like 1999. That sucks, man. Wait.

Anakin trains with Obi-Wan. Fuck. And then he goes on to become Darth Vader. So Obi-Wan made Darth Vader. So you have to ask is he complicit. It's like buying drugs. If you buy weed, you're actually decapitating Mexican journalists because you're funding the cartels.

That's true. Is there a question? Okay. Obi-Wan canceled. All right. I'll do Inside Man. Good movie. Great movie.

Sleeping in the bank and it was all a ploy because the bank owner was a Nazi sympathizer. So that's how he got all his money. This ain't no bank robbery. This is a great movie. Great movie. Come on, Jake. Come on. This ain't no bank robbery.

Jake. I never saw you like to get wet. I don't even think I saw the movie. I just remember seeing... This ain't no bank robbery. Such a good movie. And I was like, that's it. That's a good movie.

Such a good movie. Just that line. My spoiler is Mission Impossible. Oh. Which one? I have not seen Mission Impossible. So this is actually... Now I'm not gonna...

Okay. Everyone's wearing a mask. So that's just it. Like John Voight. Boom. He's wearing a mask. Tom Cruise is a face man. He's wearing a mask all the time.

No. They have the technology where they can replicate people's faces and they put these masks on. And so they just... I think Tom Cruise just rolls around with a briefcase of like 10 masks at a time. So he can look like anybody and he's got a little voice modulation thing that he can sound like anybody too. Is this real? Yeah.

So it sounds terrible. They're like six masks. Those are awesome. In Mission Impossible. It blew my mind. Yeah. Why are there so many? How do they make...

I'm not gonna spoil the most recent one. This fallout was pretty cool. Oh man. We have a talking soccer. P.F.T. What was this again? So this is... I think it was Leeds was playing as some other team as they do.

And there was an injured player on the pitch. And instead of kicking the ball out of bounds as would be sporting, the team proceeded to score a goal, take the ball down the entire length of the pitch, scored a goal. And then the coach, I believe of Leeds, got so mad at his players for scoring the goal, he told them to allow the other team to score a goal on the kickoff. Sportsmanship. Sportsmanship. It was a real life version of that commercial where that basketball player was like, coach,

I touched the ball last. Yeah. And so his players were pissed off at him for telling them to do that, but they had to follow orders. Pussification of America. Pussification of America in the EPL. I don't even know if the EPL might be the Swansea League. Yeah, it was.

And I think the winner, if Leeds had won, they were going to guarantee that they would advance, that they would, let's say, opposite of... Back up to the EPL. De-relegate themselves. Yeah. Yeah. Unrelegate. Unrelegated.

Yes. Exactly. Okay. Let's wrap up. Before we get to Throne's talk, we're going to do a Monday reading real quick. This one is... Your paintings. The hotel room.

Hank is so... He's a sickly boy. Well, same one for the Game of Thrones. Hank is a sickly boy. Same for the Game of Thrones. All right. So Monday reading. Here we go.

NYC's sober bar scene is a hip oasis for booze-free fun. That sounds good. This actually sounds like someone who's on our wavelength about these fucking festivals. This sounds like the hangover crawl invention that I had a couple years ago. You remember that? Yeah. Where you just... Where everyone's hungover.

Yeah. And then you just play like soft music and they feed you like soft snacks. And you jerk each other off. You jerk each other off. You're not allowed to. Yes. It is. Who knows?

We may have invented the hangover cue right there. All right. Here we go. Pour one out for the boozy bar scene. Sober nightlife is taking off in New York City. From posh mocktail bars to buzz-free pop-up parties, the objective to deliver a fun night out without alcohol, which Americans are drinking less of these days according to a 2018 report by beverage market analyzer IWSR.

This also could be called why you should just buy an X-Box. Yeah. But we'll go on. I think this is just like people are getting high more, so they're not drinking it. Yeah, right. Liquor is a toxin. Well, breaking news. Not a social lubricant.

Ashok Shockey Pie, a sober Williamsburg resident tells the Post. On a recent Saturday night, the 40-something real estate agent settled in at Getaway, 13 Points' new mocktail bar, Pie, who used to be a club promoter polished off two coconuts, pineapple and coconut milk, $13, and a ginger spice, ginger, grapefruit juice, tonic, and club soda, also $13. Wow. He found the booze-free scene refreshing. It's nice to be around sober people who got their wits about them, he says.

This just sounds like work. That's just everything. You're going to work. You're describing everything that's not a bar. Hey, can we take the one thing that is a bar and turn it into everything else that's not a bar? And put it in a bar? And put it in a bar.

Okay. Also, this sounds like a guy who probably is a really bad drunk. He's like, you know what's cool? Not puking on yourself and embarrassing yourself with a bunch of text messages in dick pics. Sounds like a loser. Going a little too far here. Just maybe just mixing a water. So I can understand why this would be valuable for maybe a recovering alcoholic or a Muslim

or somebody who, according to their religion, doesn't want to drink and they don't want to be around dumb drunk animals all the time. So good for them. But it sounds like charging $13 for basically cutting a coconut in half and then pouring stale coconut into it. Right. And you're right. There are definitely people like if you have a recovering addiction and you're like, I don't

want to be around drunk people. This sounds great. This just sounds though like a 40-year-old dude is like, I invented a new way to get laid. Yes. We'll get everyone sober. So I'm not necessarily buying that alcohol can't be both a toxin and a social lubricant. Yeah.

The world's best lubes are toxic. Yes. Exactly. That's just how it's going to be. The funnest things in life are bad for you. Yeah. You just want to talk to somebody that has all their wits about them and isn't a good form of mind?

No. Not me. Again, it's like going to work. You're going to work. All right. So fellow getaway patron Wayne Hausing agrees. By the way, that's two dudes now. We'll see if we'll get any females here.

It might just be a dude's club. Although the sober bar was filled with millennial patrons, it has a grown-up feeling to it. Says the Williamsburg based asset manager who's in his early fifties. Noticing a trend here. Forties and fifties. Okay. He's had a glass of wine at a dinner party before coming to get it. What?

Wait. He's showing up. Hold on. He's pre-gaming for the sober bar. Hold on. You know what? That's so fucked up. He's a drunk guy at the sober bar.

It's dawning on me that the entire place is probably filled with people who are drunk from what they did before they got to the sober bar. Actually, it's just a place. It's actually just a sober up bar. Yeah. And I like that. Yeah. That's actually not a bad idea.

It's called Mix in the Water. A place. That would actually be a great idea if a bar was like, hey, we have the stiffest drinks in the world. But at midnight, all we serve is water until 2 a.m. Mix in the Water is a good bar name, especially if it's like an Irish bar. And it's just two guys with red hair swimming around in a tall glass of water. This is a mix in the water.

His friend, Sohang Gandhi, who's 38 and sober, credits the good vibe to a sweeping sense of relief. Finally, a cool, dry place where he didn't have to feel weird about ordering a seltzer. Does this guy live in a fucking basement? A cool, dry place. Okay. People that don't drink also want to hip environments as an engineer. They don't want to be stuck going to a restaurant or a movie.

Fair, I guess. But those are like good things. Going to a restaurant. Pretty cool. Yeah. I mean, you eat three times a day. I hate being entertained and having good food. Yeah.

So they show up. Everybody else is drunk probably from pre-gaming. And then they just order overpriced mocktails, which if anybody says the word mocktail to my face, it's on site. And it's, oh, big time on site. And it's also, as far as we've read, so like here, it's a bunch of 40 and 50 year old dudes hanging out with millennials that are most definitely on ecstasy. Uh-huh.

Okay. That makes total sense to, these names are, like, these are the made up names. Lorelai Bandrovsky, founder of the sober friendly pop-up party, Listen Bar. Right now we live in a culture that claims drinking as a default, says Bandrovsky, who's 32 and an occasional drinker. Her company takes over otherwise boozy bars to sling mocktails such as the ghost me maybe. That's a great name. Grapefruit Rosemary and Tonic.

She thinks the rising interest and wellness is driving the trend of alcohol-free fun, although drinkers are free to join her events too. We're not necessarily a sober bar. Now this is where it's like, all right, we're serving booze, but whatever, says Bandrovsky, who estimates that only a third of her clients identify as dry. She thinks of it more as an alternative night out, something she feels jaded by city dwellers crave, whether they drink or not, we're New Yorkers, we get bored, we don't want to have just one option.

So this is, this is actually genius by them because they essentially have created a sober bar that's not really that sober, but if you don't want to drink, you can just be like, I went to a sober bar. Yeah, you can do that, but the thing that keeps popping back into my head is I don't want to go out and socialize with people where everybody is just like completely level-headed and thinking clear. There should at least be a part of the bar you can go to and just get dizzy for a while and just talk to other dizzy people or do the thing where you blow onto your thumb so

hard that you get lightheaded. Now you just described the carnival, which I'm not opposed to. Yeah, carnival. So are there games that you can play or you just sit around talking about how you're also not drunk? Here's a bad thing that I just read. I read ahead of there for a second. On the Lower East Side Upcoming Karaoke Lounge, juice box heroes and mini-rex will be split

into sober and non-sober sections. Sober Karaoke. Who the fuck wants to do sober karaoke? I'll tell you who. Acapele people. Yeah, people who think they're going to make it. A lot of Acapele people. There's definitely like, I'm going to be found at what was it called?

Juice box heroes. The only sober record executive in America is walking into juice box heroes tonight. And he's sober because his parole officer making it. Yeah, he's wearing an ankle monitoring. I'm going to find my next one. People who don't use alcohol as a crush to begin with tend to be easier on the ears, says co-owner Eduardo Gave. I will.

It's probably true. Yeah, that might be true, but what also is easier on the ears is getting drunk yourself. And then you don't care what anyone's singing. Yeah, God bless people who work at karaoke bars. Oh. Having to listen to everybody. It's fun when you're there and you're drunk. They're hammered.

They better be. A whole new industry is springing up to meet consumer demand for more alcohol free options. Sobriety is only going to get more cool. He says. Sure. Uh, yeah. I don't know. We should go.

We should go and review one of these places. Buy low on sobriety. I'm going to go, but I'm going to be on some sort of intoxicant. Actually, no, I quit drugs. We should podcast from there. Okay. The first ever sober bar podcast. That sounds just incredible.

Incredible. I fell asleep listening to that sentence. Sober bar podcast. Let's do it. About sports. Nobody. There's a sports fan, though. No, there's no TVs.

No. Yeah. That's the other thing. Like, can you play NBA playoffs? Excuse me, sir. Please leave. Why not just watch sports or play your Xbox or gamble? There are a lot of things you can do sober.

Yeah. Going to a bar seems pretty stupid. You're taking when you're trying to like, if you're trying to have fun, I don't care if it's sober bar, drunk bar, whatever. I don't want to go to a bar if I'm not drinking. Where do people get their endorphin rushes from if they don't participate in any sort of illicit activity? I don't look to the right when I cross the street in the bike lane.

That's fucking badass. Yeah. Well, that one's almost killed me. That'll get your blood going. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Big time. What about you, Hank?

What do you do to get your endorphins going? If it's sober night for Hank, what do you do? I don't watch Game of Thrones. I don't know. Yeah. Okay. There you go. All right.

So that's perfect segue. So we're going to do our thrones. So we're going to predict who we think dies and then we're going to do the recap after. So if you haven't watched, don't just stop the podcast right now and finish it later. I also want to note that Hank, his nervous energy is off the charts before the show. He likened it to like a dog before a thunderstorm. He's just been like whining around the office like, are you okay? It's not true.

And he's very anxious, but rightfully so. There's a big episode. So quickly let's rattle off who we think is going to die. And then we will watch the show and be very wrong. Okay. Grey Worm. I think you should pick. Each pick five.

Okay. D-E-D dead. Yes. I'm going to also pick Grey Worm. Theon's dead. Which one is he again? The dickless guy. Okay.

Dickless guy. Two dickless guys. Dead. Theon and Grey Worm. Dead. Grey Worms and was it Ben Roffelsberger? That'd be a good nickname. Yes.

Tormund and Brianna Tarth. Both dead. That's the night lady. They just got night. Sir. Sir Brianna Tarth. Yes. Who's the guy that liked the breast milk?

Tormund. Tormund. That's Tormund. So he's dead too. So that's four. So let's pick our fifth. Tyrion. Oh.

Which one's that? It was the one that he was like, I want to be in the battle and Danny was like, stay in the crypts. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. So that's our five. Oh wait.

Tyrion is a famous guy. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Wow. Hey, that would be rough. There's our five. And then we want to throw in just one extra.

I got a bonus. Dragon. That'd be real same. Hank. What about the guy that Arya fucked? Gendry? I think Gendry's dead. He's a goner.

I think he's dead. All right. She's pregnant. He's dead. Okay. So there are predictions. We haven't watched yet. We'll be back.

We'll literally pick up in the next like 10 seconds, us instantly right after the show. See on the other side. That's in the song. That's it? Yeah. Yeah. It's. You know you're doing the NBC.

Yeah. It's game of thrones Sunday night game on. Okay, we're back. I hope the winter fell the battle that no one could see. Yeah. In my opinion, shows that take place on a visual medium. You should be able to watch them. But wait, PFT, you don't understand the Night King, his whole, the whole point of him is

he acts in a way to make everything confusing, except for the fact I still would like to be able to see a TV show while watching it. It was a deeper meaning than that. All I took away from the Night King, he fucking loves cocaine. Dude, the Night King, the Night King, well, let's go. That's the end. We'll start at the beginning. Night King, honestly, the biggest showboater of all time.

Like, bro, you were walking so slow to try to win that game, he, he, Deshaun Jackson dropped it right before the end zone. He's like the Mr. Miyagi of bad guys. Insane. He just, all he does is he stands totally still. And then when you charge at him, he like waits the last second and just goes, hey, hey. Yeah. He's Steven Seagal.

Yep. Fighting all those guys. Akito. All right. So, uh, the battle of Winterfell starts. First of all, can't see anything. Second of all. I still think it was good.

Yeah. No, it was good. I'm not saying it was good. I just wish I could see a little bit more. Turns out everybody's TV sucks. Yeah. Like, it would be awesome to be able to see the details of it, but I get it. I get the whole point of it.

It's distracted. Like, Night King brings Winter and all this shit. Uh, the, let's start from the top though. When you lead with your best guys, the Dothraki, and they get the shit kicked out of them, not a good morale thing. But for morale, the red woman, ultimate, ultimate walker coach. Who's got, she got the boys fired up sneaky red woman. Like if she had been able to close the deal there, she would have been like, um, Andre

Goudal winning the MVP. I got to know where like, what? Yeah. Like we remembered, we remembered it as that. Like that was Steph's team. That was Jon Snow's team. And boom, she comes out of nowhere and starts fucking light and shit on fire and lighten the trenches, telling everyone, I told you to be back.

She was the one that put it in Ari's head. True. Put what? True. Like with blue eyes, green eyes, and I don't know, like black, brown eyes, green eyes, and blue. But how could Ari have seen anybody's eyes through all that smog? Yeah.

And the blood in her eyes. Her saying blue eyes made her think, oh, I got to go kill the night kid. Oh, okay. Gotcha. I was, I was thinking that Melisandre, is that her name? Yeah. Melisandre. I thought that she was like a mole.

I thought that she was like fucking with people and was giving them bad fire. So she should have been killed cause she burned that 13 year old at the stake. And then everyone was like, sir, I was like, get the fuck out of here. I never want to see you again. She showed up for the biggest super bowl and sir Davos was like, you know what, fine. Come back on the team. It's fine. Okay.

So they said, you know, when your best, when your best play doesn't work right out of the gate as the top for the morale, like you could see in everyone's eyes, they're like, you know, we're kind of fucked here. Two questions. Why didn't they start launching the catapults? Why didn't they do that before they ran out? Yeah. Maybe give yourself some light.

Exactly. Yeah. Just hold them off and send the dragons out too. Well, okay. So the dragons, I got a big problem with the dragon. That was the part I really couldn't say. The dragons, the dragons really like, dude, the dragons were like a really good running back.

They just kept on going out of bounds. Like get in the game. Run north, south. They were Sean Alexander. Get the shit out of someone. They just would come. They'd go. They'd come.

Oh yeah. So there's a little bit of turbulence and it's, it's bad visual, you know, visibility out there. Just go light some shit on fire. At one point they like flew above the clouds and just hung out. That was Lydania Tomlinson jumping up and down on the sidelines. Cruising down. While Phil Rivers was out there with a torn ACL.

Okay. I got a question. John Snow and Danny, how bad do their ears pop? They were like 15,000 feet. Yeah. That's tough. Hank would know the whole time. I was like, yo, yo, grab your nose, pop your ears.

This is getting insane. Yeah. He's giving me a little bit of anxiety. Those dragons were my fire fast. Yeah. Those dragons. Oh, quick question about the blue dragon, the bad dragon. Yeah.

Is, does he breathe out? I know it's blue fire, but is that fire super cold or super hot? It's like, blue is the hottest fire. Yeah. It's basically your stove top. He's just doing stove top on everyone. Okay. That's tough.

Yeah. He's just getting the butane going. So the white walkers, so about their fighting style, they're dumb as shit. They're like, they're super aggressive, but they're dumb as shit. They're like the Cincinnati Bengals defense of whatever, Westeros or whatever. They basically are, I mean, they're all just running, you know, it's like basically playing, they play, they fight like a bunch of like seven year olds play basketball. Like everyone runs to the ball and no one's spacing anything out and everyone's like running

around or like seven year olds playing soccer. It's like 22 kids all in one corner like, yo, maybe space and one of you can score a goal instead of all going after the same people all at once. Thing about the white walkers is they're super easy to kill, but they're just so many of them. Right. They can't go all the whites. The whites.

Whoa. White walkers are the guys, you're saying the whites are slow and the whites are slow and there's too many of them in America. The whites are the skeletons that come back to life, the zombie. The people you guys are talking about are called whites. The white walkers are the dude. We don't see color. Like the NK.

What? It's WIGHTS. Okay. Got it. All right. So the battle rages on everyone's, shit's going crazy. Shout out Lady Mormon. If we're giving stars out, she gets two stars.

She fucking got squeezed to death by that giant, but she did kill him. So good job by you. Yeah. That's the one thing. If you're that giant, why do you even do that? Why do you take that chance? You're one weakness. Right.

You're going after a ten-year-old girl up to your eyeball. Yeah. It's like, here we go. The hound, poor performance from the hound. The hound, he was basically the guy in Saving Private Ryan, the munitions guy. Yeah. He just let his bro get killed by the Nazi. Playoff Pete.

Dude, yeah. Big time hound. Like, he's ready to go. He's all gassed up. All we've been hearing from him for seven seasons is he's the best fighter in the world. The light shine bright and he's, oh, he's scared of a little fire. Well, his brother burned his face once. He's red.

Wait, no, that's not the hound. Which is the guy from the Citadel that stole those books? Samwell. That guy sucks. Samwell, well, he, listen, he's not a fighter. No, he's not. He tried his best. He stole books from the Citadel.

Yeah. Although my favorite, my favorite thing that happens in every movie or show ever is when the guy saves another guy's life. And then he's like, whew, that was a close one and then, boom, he gets killed. Dead. Yeah. Like, damn. Didn't see that one coming.

That was tough. Shout out to Arya though. Alright, so let's let an ending. Yeah, let's go. Let's go best worst performances. So I wrote down my best performances, Theon. What? What?

Dude, Theon fought for, fought his ass off. Are you serious right now? He did. He took on like. What's the problem with Theon? He, he protected Bran. He fought his ass off. That was the worst attempt to kill him that day.

That doesn't matter. He tried. He was like, at least he took a shot. Oh, you know who's worse? Oh, you know who's worse? See you later. Here's the name that's worse. Jon Snow thought he could just yell at a dragon and kill it, but what was that at

the end? What he's like, I'm just going to stand up and just talk sternly to this dragon and Arya saved his ass, but like Jon Snow had no plan. He was just running around. He's doing classic Jon Snow. I can fight a million people and I'll be fine. So Theon gets big time props from me. Red Lady, we talked about.

Also, Theon's not dead. Theon's. Theon's not dead. Ooh. You can tell in a movie or a TV show, if somebody gets shot or stabbed anywhere besides directly in the middle of their stomach or on the top left part of their body where the heart is, they're going to survive that wound. Okay.

I'm going to disagree. I think he's very dead. No, if you see a dude get stabbed in the top right part of his chest, have you ever seen a movie man? Dude, he had blood all out of his mouth. I'm just saying how movies work. That was an honorable way for him to go out. And I cannot believe, Hank, that you didn't think Theon left it all out on the field.

He did. Like you're insane, dude. You're insane. He probably racked up what, like 50, 60 bodies? Easy. Oh, without a dick. How are you going to prepare for the battle of your life and only bring like 20 arrows? Dude, he had a lot of arrows.

Tell me that. Tell me that. Tough to do it. All right. Tell me that. Red Lady, huge props, showed up out of nowhere, helped everyone out, literally got the boys fired up. Got the boys fired up.

Got Arya back to like back on plan. Like, it was like halftime and like, Hey, listen, remember the game plan here? You got to go kill the white Walker. What is it? Night King? Night King. Yeah. Arya, hand-eye coordination.

Pretty good. For the many faced God. She, dude. Pretty good. And she's pregnant. She's an 80 on the, on the way for doing baseball on her, on her hands. On her, with 5-2 clearance. On her defense.

Yeah. There's also a nice sort of like Scooby-Doo scene when she was like avoiding the white walkers. Yeah. What do you mean? It would just seem like she's just running around the corners. Like she took off the white walkers mask and it was an old man, Hunter Field. Something I noticed and very nice tiling in the hallways, well hallways of Winterfell.

Like super nice. It's well put together. Yeah. Very well put together. So are we going to run with the theory that she's pregnant? Because I like that theory a lot. Yeah. I think that she is.

Is Gendry dead? No, no. He survived I think. I couldn't see shit. I think he survived. So it's like Serena Williams at the Australian Open. Yeah. She had that platelet rich blood that she was playing.

Right. So she was good. So worse or hound by far, although he came back a little bit. The dragons, I really thought they could have, could have given some more, they could have given some more points, rebounds, all of it. Like they just, they left a lot out there. There was scoreboard watching. It's cool that there's only one left and it's Danny's.

Like she's got the ultimate power. We don't know. We don't know. Did John Snow's dragon die? Yes. That was the. It's banged up. We know that.

That was the one that he was fighting at the end. I think. I could be, I could be very wrong. I haven't looked on. You think you flipped it already? Yeah. Because that's you. No.

They would have showed two bad dragons flying simultaneously. The dragon was on the ground. The dragon was on the ground. And when he raised everyone. But I don't think his dragon was dead. Alright. We need a better TV. We need a lot better TV.

Everyone in the crypt gets my worst because like that was the most obvious thing ever. You know that you're fighting a guy who can raise dead people and you go to the place where all the dead people are. So use your head. And also Tyrion and Sansa, I feel like they were about to fuck right there, which would have been awesome. Wasn't expecting that. Wasn't expecting that.

I felt like the crypt there was going to fucking open up. Oh Lord of Light. You like that moment where he was Jesus Christ and he was hung up and it's like your God is dead. When he got hung up in the hallway and they were stabbing him a million times. Oh yeah. He was hung up on the cross and it's like your God is dead. Let's see what else.

What else did I write down. Theon redemption, which Hank totally disagrees with was his worst take he's ever had in his entire life. I mean, Bran did say you're a good man. Bran was basically like, alright, Theon. You're done. See you later. Bran, what is Bran's deal?

I'm so sick of him. Bran, go from here. The Ravens. They haven't really told us what the Night King did. I don't know. Like what Bran was doing. They kind of like, they built this whole thing up for eight seasons and like never really explained it.

Okay. So what's the aftermath of this episode? Well, there's still three episodes left. Yeah. What's the upshot? They got to clean a lot of stuff up. By the way, Jorah's dead. He literally fought for the woman that has just been refusing to love him back and ultimate

he is the friend zone hall of fame. Like the way he died fighting for Danny, by the way, she really exposed herself as a nonfighter. She was. Thank you. Are you still on her side? Oh yeah. You still like her?

You're a fucking loser. She's got the only dragon. I hate you for that. Like Arya is a badass. No, I'm Team Targ. Cersei's a badass. You just love this shit. Cersei's the worst.

Dude. Team Targ. Team Targ, Team Targ. You love this chick that like has been basically walking around saying I'm the king, I'm the queen and Jon Snow's the rifle heir and she can't even fight for herself. She just found that out. And her little dragons don't show up to the big event. She did fight a little bit.

Really? Listen, you can say what you want about her as a dragon trainer and as a keeper of dragons, as a coach of dragons, mother. As a mother. She's not their mom. Yes, she is. She's the mother of dragons. The eggs didn't come out of her.

No, she held them in a fire and she got burnt alive and then the fire ended and she was just sitting there with some of the dragons. But she didn't fuck a lizard and give birth to dragons. She's the mother of dragons. She's animal. Just because they're imprinted on you. She has a bunch of ducks following you around. Her name is Mother of Dragons.

She's a surrogate of dragons. Yes. A surrogate. Mother of dragons. There you go. I don't know. I couldn't see shit. So what?

No, seriously. I couldn't. I could not see shit. I'm going to say that. And I'm also mad at Hank for saying Theon like didn't die admirably. The episode is only available to be played correctly on like five TVs in America and they're all owned by the Game of Thrones editors. So they're insisting to their bosses this morning that actually it was great.

It was perfectly done. It's everybody else that has a better TV. Well, here's, no, honestly, the line of people and look, I'm not, I'm new to the Game of Thrones world. The dumbest game of Thrones recap in podcasting history, but I know already what people are going to say. They're going to say that it was confusing on purpose because the Night King confuses people.

I will stand up and die on the hill that I still want to be able to watch the television show. Agreed. I think that's fair, right? Yeah. No, I think that's totally fair. I'd like to be able to see what's going on. And Hank is sitting here thinking that he's going to go home and he's going to magically

be able to see everything. I hope so. No chance. No chance. I'm not going to sit here and be like, it was so bad because I couldn't see. If I go home. It wasn't bad. It wasn't bad.

I'm not saying the episode was bad. I'm saying I would prefer to be able to see the television show I'm watching. But do you think it's better to watch it on a phone than it is on a TV? I think it might be. Smallest screen. Maybe, maybe a, what was the TV? Whose TV was it? Everyone we clowned on?

Or Kelly. Or Kelly's. Yeah. I know. We can't make fun of that guy anymore. They're just kidding. All right. So that's the dumbest Game of Thrones recap ever.

You got anything else? I think Arya is like the, well, I don't know. I just, they're going to give it to Jon. Jon, I still don't understand. Like Jon, what are you doing, man? You're just yelling at that dragon? Why not? Let's just get real nuts with it and give it to a dragon.

Okay. Just see how the dragon would rule. Yeah. Probably be pretty cranky if they can't find enough food. Yeah. New law. Everybody eats. Very relatable though.

Can't find enough food. Get really upset and just blow people up. Yeah. I don't know who's going to win the throne. Two. Sansa. Hey, listen. Here's all I'm going to say is I'm very happy that the White Walkers are dead because I

always, that was always my least favorite part of the show. I like the human versus human shit. Yeah. I like that stuff. I like houses and all that stuff. That's my jam. The White Walkers, I could never fully get into their whole thing. Is there going to be in-fighting now in the last three episodes?

Oh yeah. There's going to be murder amongst them. They're all going to wake up and be like, wait, we forgot. We hate each other. Yeah. There's going to be the Democratic primary that's coming up soon. Yes, exactly. Yeah.

30 of them are going to be like, well, now who's the king? Yeah, they're going to do purity tests on everybody. And Cersei's Trump. Yeah. I don't understand that correlation because I don't know who Cersei is. I don't either, but it's loose, yeah. Okay. I will say I was just, on Friday I said I was hoping that they didn't do like end of

one storyline and then end the other one. I hope it was going to somehow mix. That didn't happen, but you know, what can you do? All right. Well, can you do? We'll see you next week on Better TV. All right. See you guys on Wednesday.

Bye. Bye. It's part of my take presented by Bar Stool Sports.