Pardon My Take - Olympic Handballer Xavier O'Callaghan, Astros Terrible Apology, And Jameis Squinston

Episode Date: February 14, 2020

Happy Valentines Day to everyone the Houston Astros are not only cheaters, but unapologetic ones as well. We talk about Jim Crane's horrendous press conference and how stupid the Astros are for all of this (2:27 - 13:53). The real news of the day is Jameis Squinston got Lasik and now may be the best Quarterback ever (13:53 - 22:13). XFL preview (22:13 - 29:39). Olympic Handball player Xavier O'Callaghan joins the show to explain the sport to us, answer our dumb questions, and try to settle the Jay Cutler debate (29:39 - 65:33). Segments include Fyre Fest of the week, do we care about the dunk contest, how can we get Mike Bloomberg's money and Guys on ChicksYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, add free on Amazon Music. On today's part in my take, we get deep into the handball community. Deep, deep. What was his name again?

Oka. Oka. Oka, his name is actually like the Saladad. Xavier O'Callaghan. It's like the Saladad O'Brien of males. Like it's so ethnically diverse just in his name. Xavier O'Callaghan. O'Callaghan, yeah.

So we have him on. We talk handball. It was actually supposed to be for Barstool Gold, but it was so good. We thought we would give it to the people. And it was, I mean, I could listen to him talk forever. So something a little different. We have Firefest, the Astros stepped in it again.

Special Valentine's Day guys on chicks. And James Squinston. Before we do all of that, part of my take is brought to you by the Cash App. Not only is it the easiest place to send money to your friends, but it's also the place where you can buy fractional shares of stock with as little as $1.

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Happy Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day. I love you guys. I love you, I love all of you. This is such a great day. Such an awesome, not made up holiday that puts pressure on everyone. Yeah, can I give a little honest advice about Valentine's Day?

Yeah. So this is something I discovered a while ago. If you do Valentine, the biggest pressure that comes up in Valentine's Day is one, figuring out what gift to get to. Don't come too fast. Listen, when you've got Roman Swipes, you basically never nut.

If you just won a Super Bowl, you'll be fucking for hours. It's like figuring out the whole reservation thing and I've hacked that. The hack to that is you just go out for brunch. If it's on a weekend, you start your day early. Who doesn't enjoy good brunch? All the restaurants are relatively empty. You get day drunk, things happen, you go places.

And then maybe you go out for dinner somewhere, a little more casual. In this situation though, PFT, all the girls are going to be expected to have a good Friday night. You're going to tell them to wait till Saturday? No, so today's tough because it's on a Friday. Push it off. This is actually the perfect store.

Brunch on a Friday. Yeah, just skip work. I think I've told this story, but I hacked Valentine's Day back in college where before Open Table and all those places existed, I just got a bunch of reservations. Me and my friend got a bunch and then we saved them and put on Craigslist and made money. Oh, that's pretty sick.

Yeah, it was pretty sick. It was a slick move ahead of my time. I basically invented Open Table. No, you were the seat. We had none of the wherewithal, passion, motivation, everything that needs to be made for a startup. You were the seat geek. You were the eat geek.

Yeah, right. So I mean, it was pretty good. We actually made like a couple hundred bucks. It was just like all the nice reservations, all the nice places in Madison. We booked them up and then put them on Craigslist like, hey, it's all caps too. Did you screw up Valentine's Day?

We have an extra reservation. I like that. Yeah, pretty much. That's when we catch best Valentine's Day memory is making a couple hundred bucks in college. And honestly, I don't blame you because if you make $200 in a day in college, you're a king for the rest of the semester. That was a million dollars.

OK, so Valentine's Day, happy Valentine's Day. The real news that we've got to get to, the Houston Astros have finally faced the media. And I think they somehow made it significantly worse. They're all forgiven. This was a great apology. You trot Jose Altuve out there for 30 seconds. He kept it short as he usually does.

It was Altuve, Bregman, and then Dusty Baker. That has like nothing to do with it. Dusty Baker just had to fall on the sword. Never be like, hey, you love Dusty Baker, don't you? His name's Dusty. I mean, Dusty should have gone out there and just been like, I'd like to apologize for all the cheating that we did. He could take like full responsibility for everything,

even though he wasn't there. And that would be better than what they actually did. So let's play the audio of Jim Crane, the owner of the Houston Astros. And this was an all time moment. You know, our opinion is, you know, that this didn't impact the game. We had a good team.

We won the World Series and we'll leave it at that. Jim, when talking about the Yankees there, did you say you feel like this didn't impact the game? And what do you mean by that? I didn't say it didn't impact the game. I didn't say it didn't impact the game. So there it is. Jim Crane, like he said, in his opinion,

it didn't impact the game. Yes, they cheated. He admitted they cheated, but it didn't impact the game. Then when asked whether it was crazy that he just said it didn't impact the game, he defiantly said, I didn't say that. I did not say that. Even though he said it 50 seconds earlier.

I think his whole point was that they might have cheated, but the cheating didn't help them win the World Series. They were already good. They cheated for fun. Right. Just to add like a little extra spice to it. They would have won anyway. It actually was eerily reminiscent to the old Rick Petino

when he apologized but said that he was innocent. So he just did a blanket apology and everyone's like, well, Rick, what are you apologizing for? He's like, well, I didn't do anything wrong. But if I did, I'd like to apologize. This was a good time to get out there and start the apology process because it's day one of spring training. All the reporters are a little off their game.

The reporters, it's spring training for them too. They're not able to cover as good as they could have, but the fact that the owner went out there and basically put his foot in his mouth right off the bat and said, yeah, we cheated, but the cheating didn't make us win the World Series. Dude, it's not a big deal. They just cheated.

As far as cheating apologies go, Hank, where do you put this on the list of apologizing for sports teams using cameras when they shouldn't? Terrible. They did a bad job as you could have done. It was pretty, pretty bad. I feel like it wasn't hard what they had to do. They basically just had to say, we cheated and we were very wrong

and we're sorry and we cheated and it probably helped us greatly. What does every apology need? Tears. Oh, that's good. Okay, I'll add that to the list. So tears and a direct audience, someone that you're apologizing to. I did not know who they were. They just kind of went out there and did a shotgun approach

and just spat it out into the universe. They might have been apologizing to their parents for all I know. They might have been apologizing to somebody on the other side of the planet. They should have apologized directly, one, to youngsters. I heard no apologies to the youngsters. Number two, to journalists. Oh, it would have been great if he came out with the little league patch on his arm,

being like, you know, the one that's like play hard, like respect your opponent, always do your best or something like that. Be like, hey, listen guys, see this? Remember the kids out there. Yeah, verbal meme. What should have happened is Al Tuve is the guy that's grabbing Dusty Baker's kid from in front of home plate and then the person coming down third baseline is the Astros cheating scandal.

Right. They should have apologized to youngsters from coast to coast and apologized to the journalists that have been covering this game. Well, I actually disagree with you because the first two, that's fine, but the real apology, the only way that they were going to be able to like move on from this is they had to apologize to each and every Yankee fan on Twitter because those guys are never going to stop. Yep.

Ever, ever, ever. So they should have just pulled out a scroll and just started reading every single name. Joey from Staten Island. I'm sorry. Joey. Sal from the Bronx. Yeah. I'm sorry, you know, and just gone down the list and said sorry to every Yankee fan.

And then maybe at the end. Liz from Arlington. Yeah. I'm sorry. Maybe that's the banner in Houston has to have pinstripes. Oh, that's what they do. That's not bad. That's not a bad idea.

I also think that the Dodgers, I take my hat off to the Los Angeles Dodgers. Who cares? Not because of this scandal, but because they helped the Nationals win the World Series this year because they told them, hey, just so you know, they're going to cheat like motherfuckers all the time. And so the Nats should get two worlds. I actually think the Nats should get the Astros 2017 World Series. Why?

Because they beat the team that was cheating. What? Who? The Astros were still cheating. Right. But they beat. Wait, so, but why would the Nats get that? Because it's cooler if the Nats win two World Series in one year.

But where's the leap to 2017? Because I'm a Washington Nationals fan and I want the Nationals to have more World Series. Wait, you mean 2019 they get two World Series or 2017 they also get a World Series? They acquire the Astros cheating World Series. Got it. Because they beat them while they were off. The only team that has ever beaten the cheating Astros in a World Series is the Washington Nationals. Got it.

I thought there was actually like an actual line. No, there's no real reason. Hey, this is how we should get them. No, there's no rhyme or reason to it. I just want more credit for my team. Got it. Okay, that's fair. That's fair to say.

So yeah, the Astros, this isn't going away by the way. Rob Manfred, where the hell are you dude? You threw out the playoff rules. Got everyone talking about that. Which you should have done by the way, the day after the Astros apologized. But Rob Manfred, I think he just is like hiding under his desk. Every morning he comes in and his secretary hands him a piece of paper. The top of the list is like deal with the Astros cheating scandal.

And he just stares at it and doodles on the paper and doesn't do anything. Let me ask you this. Do you know what Rob Manfred looks like? Could you describe him? Yeah, I can. Oh, because I can't. I don't know what he looks like at all. Yeah.

In my mind's eye, he's got like a slightly, like a pale red, curly, afro type thing. No, no. Yeah, he's like a weathered, he's like a weathered financial advisor. So Bud Selig. Kind of a younger Bud Selig. A spry Bud Selig. A younger Bud Selig. But yeah, so the Astros, I don't, this is going to go on all year.

Wait, he's a white guy? He's an old white guy? Yeah, they're going to get thrown at all the time, which is going to be awesome. Like this will, they will break the record for players to throw at them. And that's really what it comes down to is like, I know why they did, why the commissioner released the whole findings and was like, well, it's just A.J. Hinch and you know, behind the scenes guys and we'll fire them and we'll move on. But it's the players.

This was a players cheating scandal. So if you're a player and you're sitting there like, what the fuck, like punish the players. So I don't, and, and Bregman, who's been on this show and I think he's a friend of some people at Barstool. But if you're, if you're like Bregman and you are talkative and cocky, which I love, it's good for baseball. You can't then just clam up when you get caught cheating. Like you got to actually face the music here.

In fact, I'd like to kick Altuve out of the Short Guys Club. There you go. Gone. See you, pal. You might, you know what? You're six foot one to me. Get out of my face. You in that club?

Oh, I'm not saying. Checkmate. I've been elected to be the president of that club. Checkmate. I'm like Mike Bloomberg. I can say that I'm anywhere between. Mini PFT. Five foot seven and six foot one.

Mini PFT. Five, four. On any given day. Listen, I think that this just reinforces the idea that every single organization should have a vice president of apologies. Yeah. Apologizing is not hard, but there should be one person that specializes in it and that's able to dictate things.

And that person needs to be hired by the Houston Astros and probably Ohio State football to step in it again. That was more than stepping. Bring Urban Meyer back to clean up the mess. That is Ohio State football. The PR people, whoever's the PR person in Houston, how they still have a job is insane because they've done every single thing wrong. And that's even going back before the cheating scandal with the guy that they fired during

the World Series too. Yeah. Like everything they do wrong, including not winning World Series. Crazy. Yeah. Yeah. That's the Astros. It's going to continue.

Relegate them to the MLS. It's going to keep going. And then Jim Cray at the end was like, yeah, we're looking forward to a really good season. And that's that. Yep. Their entire strategy was, let's bring it up day one so we never have to address it again. Yeah.

All right. So you can watch us. Barstoolgold.com slash PMT. The other news. It's a laser, my Lord, my eyes are feeling sore and my vision's now 2020. Come on, Bruce. My eyes are Gucci. The only thing I'm turning over is a new leaf.

And that's the big news. James Squinston, he's got Lasik surgery and he can finally see. I hope he's still squints though. I do. Okay. So this was a rumor that was out there for at least a week and he took a picture with the goggles. So everyone thought it might have happened.

It was confirmed today. The thing I just don't understand is if you're James Winston's teammate or coach or anyone in his life and he's like, you know what? I actually need Lasik surgery. Aren't you like, what the fuck have you been doing, dude? Like you've just been missing linebackers because you cannot see. Yeah. James Winston, I know we joke about being a future hallfamer, but just think about this.

The guy threw for 30, 30 and 5,000 yards and he's blind or was blind. I think that this is actually the perfect time to get Lasik surgery because it's in that decision year. Yeah. So they have to make a choice. Are they going to franchise tag him or let him go? This is all the leverage that James had building up his back pocket. What I don't want to happen for purely selfish reasons, I don't want James to become a boring

quarterback. I don't want him to go like 20 and 13 physical comedy will never stop. He didn't have hand enlarging surgery. But still, I'm a little bit upset about this. I love James for the interception. Could you imagine if next year he goes like 50 and 5 and is the MVP and takes the box like in a deep playoff run and everyone just sitting there saying, you can see now. You can actually play the position because you can see.

This is the most James Winston story ever. Why wasn't he wearing contacts? Why wasn't he wearing goggles? We could also stay woke on this and maybe he didn't actually have the surgery. Oh, no, he didn't. No, I know that the reports were out there yesterday. I saw all those, but maybe, just maybe, this is a blueprint for other quarterbacks that have a bad year like Mitch Tribisky.

He takes a picture of giant glasses on. You don't even have to get the surgery. Tell people that you did. Man. I love it. You know what I really want to see? I want to see James when he steps onto the field for the first time with his perfect eyesight. It's going to be like those videos that you see of the kids that can't hear, they get

the implant in their head and they listen to classical music for the first time and they start to cry. Like, James, under center, when he identifies his own blitz for the first time ever and he just weeps because it's so beautiful. I actually think that's going to happen. I think they're going to go to OTAs and he's going to stop and be like, time out, time out. So, so that's where the linebackers always are.

There's somebody in between the defensive line and the safety. Holy shit. Have you guys been there the whole time? He's going to be like, I feel like I'm hallucinating on acid. You guys always told me that there were 11 guys on defense, but I always assumed there was eight. Yeah. What the fuck?

That's tough. Now, is James going to be able to use this to blame everything else that he's done wrong in his life? Oh, yeah. Like, I thought that the crab legs were free. I thought it said take one. The Uber driver. That one's going to be tough.

I thought I was ordering a prostitute on my phone. I thought it was Boober. Yeah. I accidentally hit the U. I thought no one was in the cafeteria when I stood up on the table and said, fuck her right in the pussy. Uh-huh. Yeah.

Yeah. I thought the lift driver's vagina was a bottle of hand sanitizer. That's James Winston. He's getting finally see. This is god damn it. He is the best. And you know what? He's only 26.

It's great. We're going to have James for him. He is the future. Like we've talked about it. We lost Eli. We lost the Uber driver's. You know, who knows where Big Ben is, although he was at the West Virginia game looking like a mountaineer.

Uh-huh. But that was such a funny picture, like who's the mountaineer? It was a Spider-Man. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. What's going on here? You're not even trying.

The funny part was they sat down Ben sat down near the mountaineer, not for the purpose of attracting his attention. He just they looked at each other and they actually did the spider. Yeah. I'm going to point at you. Can I put on your hat? And it was great because like when Ben was wearing the mountaineer hat, I actually didn't recognize him.

No. I didn't either. When you, when you quote treated it, I was like, oh, PFT is watching some college basketball. I was like, wait, no, that's Ben. No, I'm definitely not watching college basketball. I was reading my book and falling asleep. But so James Winston is the future. He's the future of comedy in the NFL.

And I'm so happy that he got Lasix so that we can make more jokes about it. Now, hopefully he's amazing. Like if he is an MVP, if he is the MVP next year, it will be the greatest story in sports. Now, guy who couldn't see. Is this going to be like Jonah Hill, though, or other comedians when they lose a little bit of weight? No, it's funny. No, because you're you're forgetting even James Winston, like if he can see the linebackers

that will obviously decrease his interceptions. But he's still James Winston. He still thinks that he can make every throw. He's still when he gets sacked or gets under pressure, he starts flopping around everywhere. There will still be funny. He's still going to eat a W. He might even eat more W's now. But what also might happen is he might feel so confident now that he's got great eyesight that he takes more chances.

Absolutely. Absolutely. So I would be pissed off, though, if I was one of his receivers or running backs and you're it kind of like hurts your contract because you're not a two way player anymore. You're not making tackles. Right. It's good. Your stats are going to go down.

Yeah. But either way, that was the biggest story. I mean, next stop, Ken. James Winston on his way to Ken. The other thing. Also, one other thing I noticed with this picture of the glasses, these post surgery Lasix glasses I've gotten a lot cooler in just 20 years. Oh, yeah.

They used to be like the old people huge wraparound boxy ones. He used to give off like a Florida casino slot machine vibe. Yeah. Now it's, oh, maybe, you know, like a cool club in New York City where you're listening to EDM. Do they still listen to EDM? They listen to EDM. EDM feels like it's gone out, though.

No. Okay. I'm still here. Cool. Good. As long as there are drugs, there will be EDM fans. They are one and the same in terms of the market of that music. It's like what acid was for the Grateful Dead.

You know what I heard? Jeff Schwartz, huge EDM fan. Really? Massive. Geoff? Geoff Schwartz, when he's not defending his brother on Twitter. Or talking about technique of offensive linemen, high school offensive linemen. Getting mad about people praising the wrong actresses.

That was a crazy video that went viral. There's this video. You probably not everyone lives online like we do. It was Tom Cruise's ass. It was an offensive line prospect who was like, this is why he's one of the top prospects in the entire high school in America. It shows him going one on one with a kid who beats him to the outside, then cuts on the inside and the offensive linemen just completely holds him and then throws him into the invisible

quarterback. Sacked the quarterback. It was the worst technique ever and everyone was like, look at this guy. All the offensive linemen came to the rescue and was like, this is actually terrible, don't teach this. Actually bad. Can you imagine Jeff Schwartz at a Diplo concert, front row, probably wearing like a wife beater, that's smallest oval sunglasses that you've ever seen in your life.

Dude, could you imagine Jeff Schwartz if he was in a, this is way too much Geoff Schwartz talk. Shout out Jeff. If he was in a mosh pit, like an offensive linemen's technique in a mosh pit, just panicking people left and right. Throwing people around. Just doing the whirlwind, the windmill. Yeah.

Right. Before we get to our interview with handball pro Xavier O'Callaghan, PFT, did you want to give me a quick preview for the XFL this weekend? Yeah, I can give you. The buzz feels a little like it's come off a little. No, absolutely. It's rivalry week. Okay.

How dare you say that during rivalry week? So I did. This week we've got the matchup of the Vile Guardians from New York against my DC defenders. DC defenders favored by five and a half points. They would be favored by six if they had a kicker that could make a 35-yard field goal. But they knocked a half point off. They took that into consideration. I think I'm going to be at the game.

I'm addicted to the game day experience at Audifield. In fact, the game day experience was so good last week that many are saying that Dan Snyder is looking to sell the Redskins because he knows that he cannot compete against that type of environment. So that team might be on the sale block soon. Then we got Tampa Bay Vipers at the Dragons. Vipers, your boy, Mark Tressman, you took the over for their win total. They got smoked last week by the Guardians.

They're favored by two and a half at Jim Zorn's Dragons. So long flight to Tampa Bay. I'll take the Dragons, I guess. Okay. So long flight for Tressman. And then the Roughnecks, I'll take them too. Dallas Renegades at the Wildcats, Renegades favored by four and a half. Taking the Renegades, Broken Rowback just got signed to the team.

Great. And then you're taking the Roughnecks. Yeah, and then I'm taking the Roughnecks. Minus eight against the Battle Hawks. Sure. Listen, spreads don't matter in this league. I just pick winners. Mm-hmm.

You taking the over in every game? Nope. Under in every game. I'm taking the over in every game. Okay. It's going to correct. It's going to correct. They're going to all of a sudden get good at football.

You're going to go back to the main. That was grumpy cat poo-pooing the XFL. I'm not poo-pooing it. I'm going to watch it a little. I'm going to watch it a little. I'm going to watch it a little. I'm going to poo-poo. Yeah, I did too.

I started zoning out the minute the teams were being named. I will try to keep watching it. It's football. It's not. It is, but it isn't. It's football. Okay. I will try to watch it.

So I watched it last week. There's no double passes or three-point attempts this week. I might be out. Right. Like you can't have all these new rules and then not have anything actually be done. Like you're just playing conservative football with the worst players. So let's do it. Let's pay.

Our way to tell XFL, get your shit in gear and get going and fix this shit. Double passes. Yeah. Do everything. Make it fun. Let's have fun. Sign scrubs. Is that wrong?

To kick. Is that wrong? Sign personalities. Yeah. Sign a personality to kick. Kick. Are you going to be on a team or no? I think so.

What's great about the XFL is to their credit, maybe this is like Stockholm syndrome since they've taken me hostage. Yeah. No, they totally have taken you out. The smartest thing they ever did was basically dangle this in front of you so that they can have you be like, this is awesome. But here's the thing. I almost respect the fact that they didn't put me on the week one roster, that I was

not signed to because you only have 52 guys, they have like actual game day rosters. They are more concerned about winning than they don't want to give me a spot. They don't want to be a side ship. They don't want to give me a spot that I haven't earned. And while you could make the argument that maybe I did, I did earn it. But then when they sign you, it's because the rosters will expand. Oh, they do. They're going to expand a little bit.

When? I forget the exact week. What does the little bit mean? I think by like three or four. Okay, nice. I didn't know that. Yeah. So I'm just saying I was a bubble guy.

September call ups. I was a bubble guy. I got cut. That's what happens to bubble guys. It's on me to change the math. Yeah. You're a September call up. That counts as being in Major League Baseball.

If they bring me in for a playoff run, I'll accept that. Go in playoffs now. There we go. Get in there. Maybe you make a playoff kick. Well now it's in my head that maybe I'll make the game winning championship kick. That'd be something. That'd be something winning.

They really got you. Maybe. Or maybe I just. Oliver Luck is a marketing genius. Let's make this guy think he's going to be on a team and then he will be saying how awesome the league is for the whole year. Oliver Luck is a marketing genius because he saw me on the sideline before the DC game last week and he made a beeline over to me.

Yeah. He's like. We're at the number one sports podcast. We're talking about his league. He's a great to see you buddy. Great to see you know we're really hoping that we can get you out there and I was like yes sir Oliver. Yes sir.

And then after he stopped talking or at the end of the conversation was he like and you're going to make sure you mentioned the league right on PMT right. You're going to talk about it right. He's like that asshole big cat doesn't like or let you make sure to. I like to lead into shape. I agree with Hank. I need more excitement. Yeah.

This is where the exact same spot we were there last year. Like this is the these next two weeks are going to be make or break XFL weeks for me where if they can get me to like watch and be like holy shit that was fun. I'll be in. I'm also thinking that there's an outside chance that with what I've put on film already and what I will continue to put on film maybe I get a call for a training camp for an NFL team. Maybe I'm a camp leg.

Okay. There you go. I need camp legs. They do. Did you see how bad the kicking was last year? You need camp. I'm not worse than Vinitari. Nope.

That's true. No. That is true. Yeah. It is true. I'm a better kicker. Four for six. I'm 35.

I'm a better kicker than the greatest kicker of all time. All right. Let's get to our interview with Xavier O'Callaghan handball pro awesome interview. We were actually going to do it for gold but it was so good. We're going to put it into a regular PMT before we do that NASCAR is back. It is the most iconic race in all of motor sports. The great American race the Daytona 500 watch as NASCAR's biggest stars battle it out for the most coveted win of the season.

Dave has gone all in on the sport and be heading back down to Daytona to witness the mayhem live and this time he's bringing large and Uber driver Debbie with him. You won't want to miss the wrecks and pure chaos that is sure to ensure ensue. Be sure to tune into the Daytona 500 on Sunday, February 16th at 2.30 PM on Fox or join the party and witness it live by getting your special Barstool ticket package at Daytona500.com slash Barstool again the Daytona 500 Sunday, February 16th on Fox excuse me or witness it live and get your tickets at Daytona500.com slash Barstool. We also are brought to you by our friends at ButcherBox guys listen guys and girls you

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right to your door which means one less trip to the grocers options like 100% grass fed and finished beef free range organic chicken heritage pork wild caught Alaskan salmon and bacon that's free of nitrates and added sugar it's the way meat should be and listen right now you can get two filet mignon's a pack of bacon plus $20 off your first box when you sign up now at ButcherBox.com slash take or use promo code take at checkout that's two free filet mignon a pack of bacon plus $20 off your first box just go to ButcherBox.com slash take or use promo code take at checkout okay here is Xavier O'Callaghan okay we now welcome on handball pro Xavier O'Callaghan just pronounce all that right you say what's

your nickname Oka Oka Oka I knew you had a good nickname so he is here to talk to us about handball he is a former handball pro played in the Olympics yeah so I scored a couple goals in the Olympics more than a couple of goals more than a couple goals little cocky I like it did you win a gold I know it was a bronze medalist okay was that in Sydney 2000 okay good okay so we brought you in because we've had a debate that started very organically I don't know if you've seen yes I was aware of that I am sure you have because the handball community is very angry at us why Jay Cutler former Chicago Bears quarterback said that he thinks he could get gold medal in handball if he got a bunch of pro athletes from all

American sports and they just you know trained for a couple months and jumped into it now before we get to that debate can we at least just like go through step-by-step handball how it's played the rules like how many people are on this on the court there are two teams of seven players one goalie and six players okay okay and roster usually are 16 players okay so it's very dynamic you don't need to stop the game to make changes so you are playing and you're leaving and in coming in coming out like in hockey they're rolling yes exactly okay is it that quick is it is very quick is it more like basketball where they call timeout and they do a sub no no no it's very quick it's like like like okay yeah in the middle of the action you

don't need to stop you can play and you can leave the the court whenever you want for a replacement okay now how fast do the do the shots come if you if you have like the top players in the world miles I think it's even more than 80 miles per hour 80 okay more than okay more than you know the baby shooters they can do it faster yeah what about kilograms yeah I mean kilometers kilometers is more than 100 okay that sounds so much faster it's fast you know okay um so seven on seven at any time how many officials are on the on the court too now is there punching a lot is it like hockey were you quite physical yes I would say that okay you know physical is a company is really important and and it's something that is very common and and

they are out of contact you know and it's it's a rough stuff yes okay so what um what would you say like the attributes of a professional handball player are like if you told me if you asked me you know what about a basketball player I'd be like well you really have to be at at like shortest like six one you know six one in taller and the taller the better or like if it's football obviously the stronger the better what is a hey like perfect handball player in handball is a combination of things of course the total is the better but you can be less than six and be able to play much less you you can play you can be five something and you can play you on a wing because you know it's like it's like a soccer team you know the midfielder is very different from

the wing in soccer because you know you have to be fast and and and and technique and maybe in the middle field you have to be stronger so in handball there are different positions and different body types okay adapt to this position but in general if you are tall and you are strong it's very very important you've got your like a Cristiano Ronaldo's in the middle and then you've got your messies exactly what about what so strength what about speed because it's not a very big what's the court it's in meters it's 40 meters length and 20 wide it's a little bit bigger than a basketball court okay so speed matters but it's not there's not like you know fast break is really important and you have to read a lot it's bigger than a basketball court yes yes bigger we are

wider both okay so when you have the ball in hand you have to dribble do you have to punch it to yourself how does that work you can it's like a basketball you can both and and if you're bouncing uh-huh you say bouncing yeah you can run with the ball but bouncing when you take the ball in your hands only you can do three steps not two like in basketball well basketball is more like it's three or four well in NBA yes you don't know you don't even know traveling in the NBA yeah you have different rules yeah so okay so you have to bounce it every three or four steps yeah I read that you have to make an attempt to try to go towards that scoring attempt otherwise the ref calls you for a delay of game right yeah so you have to at least make you have to act like you're

trying to score you can't just hold on the ball and run out the clock you are right exactly this is a very subjective part because the referee has the has the influence making that decision if you are not willing to score a goal that too much and you are winning and you want to keep the ball and you are not attacking that is a very important part because we need to be sure that we are trying always to score goals now are you if you're a defensive player are you allowed to go past half court yes of course okay so everyone go everywhere yes all right so it's not okay all right and then there's a crease that you can't go into though right yes how big is that crease six meters and and I seen some of the clips like you can as long as you leave your feet before yeah can you land in the

crease yes but you have to shoot before you land got it so you have to do it in the air okay so but if you got a long jumper on your team yeah you could jump from the edge of the line into the goal and just let go right at the goal line yes can you make contact with the goalie no no you can't okay what if the goalie makes contact with you though what if it's his fault it's you know depends on what the situation it is but the interpretation of the referee can can can be different you know sometimes it's because if you are trying to it's not happening because you we are professionals right so you have control of your body and usually there are no contact but sometimes it could happen but it's not never I never remember bad intention think people trying to

do something like this right now what about you are a goalie yeah and you are watching a guy with 20 220 pounds coming along in front of you shooting you have to be a little bit crazy to be there okay that's true that's true so on defense are you allowed to tackle can yes so you can tackle like fully on yeah but wrap them up but not from you have to do it in front of the guy so you have to tackle him you cannot do it from behind so it's very important and and and there is like in hockey a penalty if you are too rough the referee can say you are two minutes out and you have to play two minutes with one player less okay now what does too rough mean mean of you can if big cat was coming I mean I could push him like that right but I can't grab exactly you can hold it you can

hold not not holding this way you have to hold it in front so you have to make control of the of the arm okay and the hip what you can notice hold the guy and and try to you know like wrestling that to kill him you know so what how many how long are the games two parts of half an hour half an hour that's a lot of gameplay what about like what's an average for the pro level or Olympic level what's an average score usually more than 30 goals per team it's a very American sport you know we love it high space physical you have a score you score a lot of goals so it's is the perfect American sport I will say okay well you don't know all right so this is an important question that that I think gets to the debate more than anything what at what age

you start playing handball I started when I was six okay and now you're from Spain right I'm from Barcelona okay so how many kids play handball at the age of six in Spain I mean at the age of six I don't know but official licenses around 100,000 okay so like in in America everyone plays little league baseball you know I mean like yes even if you're not good at baseball you play T-ball and all that stuff it would you say it's similar in Spain everybody plays handball because it's part of the physical education at the schools okay so it's one of the things that you do then you can decide you can make a decision if you want to play handball basketball or volleyball or soccer usually everybody wants to play soccer right but there are a lot of players in different

sports and handball is quite popular in Europe okay so at that age let's say the age of 15 16 years old when kids start to pick the sports that they really want to focus on the most yeah do you find that the more athletic kids tend to play soccer no the more athletic kids try to play soccer handball or basketball the most talented players with with the ball with the with the feet they tend they train they used to choose soccer and it sounds like the more the most talented tall people in Spain play basketball or handball second yes would it be basketball first though yes in Europe you know they are calm you know in Spain for sure basketball is bigger but if you go to Germany you go to Denmark Sweden Hungary France right there handball is the second biggest sport

interesting so who is the best country at handball where there are a lot of them you know but like who's the powerhouse like nowadays nowadays Spain was the last European champion okay with the national teams Germany has the be the strongest league well all you know France they have a very good league as well and they're out of professional players you know it's a it's a professional sport right what in the professional leagues in like Germany what is the average salary well I think the average is around 150,000 okay it's not bad oh that's pretty good so it's similar to okay yeah all right I got a good idea average you know yeah making half a million probably yes right okay would you say that it's a disadvantage to Barcelona because it's such a great city and

it's right on the beach that people would rather go out and just drink beers in the sand as opposed to practice sports you know we love sports you love the American you love the sport but in Barcelona you have time for everything to go to the beach to enjoy with your people and to play sports just too much great so are you more of a Picasso guy or a gaudy guy I am a gaudy guy okay I love the attitude that Gaudy okay so how long have you lived in America one year and a half all right and have you watched American sports like how much I love all of them yeah I love American football okay yeah basketball okay baseball is a little bit more complicated for me are you big I would imagine like who do you like more power mark power okay I know yeah oh you do yeah of course

and personally yeah he's very interesting I have a very very nice story with him okay because I would I was very young I want to I think that I have the confidence to say that I was training at the gym alone summertime you know you need to work out in order to be in shape and I was alone working you know suffering because I wasn't very tough so I was I wasn't very strong so I was lifting weights I don't like it but it was very very complicated for me and it was the physical coach of the basketball team he came with two very young guys one was Paul Gasol and the other one you don't know we probably but it was is the best ever play in Barcelona Juan Carlos Navarro okay so both of them were they say his name again Juan Carlos Navarro that's great he was playing one year in

the NBA in Memphis Navarro yes okay he's the best player ever in Europe probably and Paul was playing with him in the junior team in the second team in Barcelona so they were there with the coach of the threat with a physical coach of the first team and and they had to do some workout and that guy the physical coach left and you know this is the least the things that you have to do I'm living I will be back both of them they were chatting talking all the time and doing nothing you know they took some water they were just showing showing them and when the guy came they would say no we have been working a lot because you know we are sweating a lot I thought to myself none of those guys will be professional ever because they have they don't have the nice work for sure they

change it no but I always remember that I was doing a bat about the impression of the guys because they were not hard workers at that time but they have been very good players very authentic players but nowadays I cannot compete with them with my with my with my success as a sports guy but you know at that time I thought none of them will be a professional did you ever tell pal that story since you've seen them I don't think so okay you got that's a fantastic story yeah I mean I would probably do the same if my coach walked away all right so you know you obviously so that helps because you obviously know high-level basketball you watch football you know all this so when Jay Cutler says something like this do you think it's completely insane or maybe a little bit of

truth knowing that some of these guys that are playing high-level football have all the skills that would work in handball they just haven't played handball what he's saying is insane what insane he cannot he cannot win Olympic medal training two or three months okay let me let me present an analogy an analogy okay it's there to imagine that you want to cook something you want to cook okay you need the ingredients you need food you the Americans you have the perfect food for being a professional athlete and to compete in a high high level okay but when you want to cook that food you need the technique you need how to mix it how to cook it at the temperature you need to know things this is something that Jay Cutler or any player doesn't have right now so

you have the potential to be an amazing athletes and to play in a high level but it takes time to be able to be a professional a very good handball player so what I'm meaning is in the short term it's impossible insane how long in the long term it takes years for sure but you're but what we're so but Jay Cutler could if he were to train like if there was a different world and Jay Cutler was born same as that guy in Barcelona he could be a professional handball of course I'm probably one of the best okay but he needs to train yeah he needs to understand the game he needs to train every day so it's a matter of technique it's not just the physical condition it's the technique and the tactic you need to read the game to know when you have to move when to pass the ball when you

have to shoot so that those kinds of things you need to learn them now it's not a matter of one or two or three months now let's flip it do you think the best handball player in Spain if he was born in you know Tampa Florida yeah and grew up playing American football do you think he could be an NFL quarterback I think it's the same exactly the same explanation so if you want to do it in three months forget it in one year forget it if this guy is educated and coach since he's young for sure because you know you have players who are 6.4 to 120 and they know how to throw the ball so they the interesting thing though is I think that handball is kind of a perfect mix of a lot of different sports that we already grow up playing in America exactly so it's a combination so it's

not like we don't have any of the techniques whereas football American football if you grow up in Barcelona you probably don't play American football unless you your family is from America or you have some connection to the sport maybe you really like Madden I don't know but you usually probably don't play American football and it's very very much different from any other sport that's played in Europe but with with handball it seems like the learning curve would be a little shorter I mean we can even build the team out from the back if you start at a goalkeeper for example if we had Tim Howard playing goalkeeper on our team I feel like he could become a world-class handball goalkeeper within a year because he's got all the technique right there right no I don't think so it's a

smaller goal he's played high level soccer football for a long time I've seen a goalkeeper in handball I have you know what I have watched goalkeepers handball they're bad they're all bad from Europe or from the US no in all the videos that I've watched they're all bad and then a goal gets in and they just don't care yeah it's like I don't know they all say like oh I get scored on 30 times a match it doesn't matter if that one went in goalie is a very important player in handball very important and they are good good very good players in Europe so you know I think that one year is not enough you know the Olympic the handball Olympic team they want to build something for the Olympics in in Los Angeles they need to start right now if we want to do

something even compete in the level to fight for the medals not to be there to fight for the medals you have to start right now with the people be careful be careful with what you're saying right now because what you might be doing you might be awakening a sleeping giant I will be automatically for Los Angeles we're gonna be in the Olympics yeah in Los Angeles yeah there are probably millions of eight to ten year old kids out there that are listening to you right now saying you know what I'm gonna prove that span you're wrong I'm gonna I'm gonna hit the gym tomorrow that's our Oka doesn't know what he's I would love to be wrong oh I'm not wrong no you're wrong we're saying alright so it's it's seven players in the court right yeah what if you

have four experienced handball players and then you get three stud athletes and you train for a year that's a question I like it I like it yes you have a leader that can explain and like kind of yeah yeah you need time then you know things are closer so is there a one position that's basically like the sniper like the guy who basically has the best arm and you're setting him up to score you know it's yes usually the players who are playing on the back so there are three in the back and three ahead of them those three back there are the key players you know because they they have the the power to shoot from from outside they are the strongest ones so those are the really important players right then you have the wings they used to end the plays you know it's

like if you are able to to send the ball to the to the wing and he has enough space he can jump and try to score but he's not creating the game you know so the play that seems like the back players like if we put a quarterback in there that's everything they do they throw it for distance they throw it to other people yeah like so pocket yeah like how far the best handball player how far do you think you could throw a handball or how do you think you throw a football I think it was 70 yards okay well we got a guy who can throw 85 yards yeah but I don't know in handball because we know the yeah the playing that the field is shorter so I don't know how long it can it can shoot but we got a guy like I said I mean Josh Allen would dominate yeah I think you got the strongest

what about pitchers who throw like a hundred miles an hour yeah well so how do you how do you how do you practice arm angles like how many different arm angles are there well that also you know there are the different techniques to shoot it's like a bit like in baseball you know not all the balls are exactly the same you can fastballs curveballs but it's like there's like four there's like three or four angles basically but in handball it seems like they're coming at it from like every type of angle you know you can shoot stride you can shoot we call it rectificado means just trying to avoid it rough rectificado so it's trying you have a guy in front of you and you have to try to avoid him and you are just throwing that way right another way is like the Angelina

you can throw below the legs of the other the defender or from the others from in a hip level you know so yeah there are a lot of different techniques and not everybody knows how to use all the techniques so it's complicated from defensive standpoint are you just trying to slap the ball out of his hand like how do you play defense the defense is try to avoid that the guys who are in front of you are scoring and the most easiest ways to shoot him alone in front of the goalkeeper so the defenders always try to be in the middle in between right but like so if you're if you have the ball yeah am I just actively trying to steal the ball or am I just trying to stay in front of you usually you try to be in front right and only you try to steal

the ball if you have a chance to do it it's like in basketball you have your man and if you can intercept the ball then you can try to steal like so that that would be a question like like if you put can you imagine if Draymond Green played handball he would just steal it from everyone not so easy not so easy because you know I think so yeah I don't think so I don't think so I guess we're just gonna disagree we have to you know Jay Calder was saying that he's ready you know don't you imagine you know how difficult is to win an Olympic gold medal it's very difficult it's handball in handball is difficult yeah yeah so Nikola Karabatich which is a French player okay one of the best ever former player of FC Barcelona this guy was saying that if Jim Jay

Cudler wants to go and wants to play against his team and Jim Kalena the team Cudler and the team wants against Karabatich and his team he Nikola Karabatich will give him his gold medal so Jim doesn't need to go to the league so he can play for a gold medal yes okay it's ready so we're already in the gold medal and Nikola Karabatich is a very you know it's a it's a keep his word always so if he's saying that he's gonna be to do so he will do it how many games does he get to play just one one just one game and get a gold medal yeah now but another another interesting story this everyone in the handball community knows yes yes this is great yes in Europe it's a trending topic in Europe is it it's a trending topic well I think just for the record if Europe's listening to me America has

superior athletes to Europeans that's just a fact we just do every single one of them is better than every European and every sport that any European has tried to play except the handball no no I just want this I want to keep this right now give me a faxing handle I want to keep this trending right now so the entire continent of Europe they do not measure up to our waste when it comes to any sort of athletic I'm gonna I'm gonna try to call him and I want you to tell him about the gold medal thing yeah alright he probably won't pick up actually I'm gonna guarantee he won't pick up by the way he has been invited by Flensburg with which is the top teams in Germany to be one week there training with them so he was to go to train with the best one of the best teams in

Germany he can go there yes yes this is crazy it's amazing you know Jay's going to call you back in like two weeks oh yeah hey I just just saw a Mr. Call and by the way Nicola Caravades is a huge final the NFL oh really so well if you want to be happy to if he wants to come over and try playing in the NFL I'll give him my spot on the XFL roster so that'll be a little my way of saying thank you for Jay no this is coming out in a couple weeks so I've had a lot of people saying that the way that we're constructing our team because we built our team out of former guests of this show yeah so I think our team is like Tim Howard at goalkeeper we've got Josh Allen Blake Griffin Danny Woodhead Phil Hughes a pitcher that used to throw upper 90s Jay Cutler now we've heard from

people that Patrick Mahomes Pat Mahomes yeah yeah they need they need a lot of time they need more than one year to do it properly only criticism what it's two and five yeah what if it was Cutler and Mahomes and then five handball no no no two two pros handball players oh five five so Nikolai Nikolai and you Nikola Nikola and you I'm not playing anymore but you in your prime you in your prime sounds like you're a coward so the two of you I'm not young at all so so the two of you plus Blake Griffin Phil Hughes Tim Howard Danny Woodhead against who Jay Cutler against France no way we lost oh you have a little loose we look for sure flick there that was nice you don't like admitting that I would also do that but you know we have no chance I disagree it's a

team sport it's a team sport you know one place very important so the one criticism that we've had about our team is that we don't have any left-handed players aren't it is that important to have it helps it helps because you know the players who are playing on the right side of the court then it is better if they are left-handed so Dantro Willis we add Dantro Willis to her side handball shape but yeah yeah you think so are you serious he's thick do you need one fat person what is it helpful to have one big guy yes guy who's like there yes there you go it's very important to get a comedic relief big guy with great because we there's one guy who's playing in between or in the middle of the defense try to to to block that's like Lane Johnson trying

to blog yeah we're both bloggers is there a goat and handball sorry a goat the greatest of all time handball say it again if is there a greatest of all time in handball like one player that everyone's like that's the guy nowadays I would say that Nikola Karabatich is the guy so this is the guy that we got a beat he's the final boss now what let's talk about what will happen if Jay Cutler and his team our team beats Nikola Karabatich would handball just not exist anymore like the sport would be done no that will not happen so you're talking about things that will happen it's like Floyd Mayweather vs. Conor McGregor if Conor McGregor beat Floyd Mayweather boxing is done yeah so you realize that I understand that but I think that it's impossible that a bunch of good

and amazing athletes they cannot learn how to play in three or four months it's impossible against a European club what's the toughest skill to pick up I think the technique itself how to how to through how to jam how to yeah I actually agree with you there like we were talking about it you know we always do the thing is like oh if we had all of our best players play soccer but soccer is a sport where it's not you know Americans are not playing soccer at a young enough age and enough people where they're learning like you're right the feet I understand what you're right the thing that pft mentioned is why we think handball is a little different is it handball has an element of pretty much every sport yes you're right and it makes sense what you are saying but I remember very well

you know in Barcelona where I was a player we have a basketball team one of the best in Europe okay this is not NBA but Paul Gasol was playing for us and I guess being a very good player in VA I remember not pow other players you know after our training we are training the same facility okay so after our training they were trying to shoot pass the ball and they were like kids you know the way that they were passing the way that they were just bouncing you know it's different because it's not like in basketball that you can you can carry carry this is a different way of doing so you get used to do a movement and handball is different okay maybe American football is quite similar but this is not exactly the same so when I throw the the the ball in American football is not doing this

movement you know spiral yeah yeah why because I don't have the technique in handball you ought to shoot really really hard jumping because you are not standing you have to jump a lot of times it requires a technique and it's something that you need to practice yeah three months okay you will improve a lot but to compete in the high high level is not enough I understand the technique aspect I I mean I don't disagree there I just two or three months if you gave them just like a real training do you have James hard I would love to see that I would love to come up with some weird stuff on off because I agree like obviously we're not saying that if you know the only thing is looking for players so if somebody wants to do it they can they can apply and they will be they will be

welcome there for sure isn't there something to say though like a culture that hasn't grown up in that technique we might come at the game with a totally different perspective come up with new techniques you haven't even thought about yet because we're smarter as Americans but that put that in the news too we're smarter maybe but it's very difficult to compete with such a high level plays that we have in Europe actually that that brings up a good question how much is coaching it's important you know thank you know that the way of playing is really important so it's it's like a mix between for me American football is a coaching game you know it's very important basketball is not important for me handball is in between in the middle because you have a lot of individual

players that can make actions alone so you don't need a big big action to score goal but in general if you want to be successful you need a good coach a good way of playing right do you have video games for handball over in Spain there's one good video game that's what we need so if we had video games growing up where our kids could grow up playing instead of playing Madden or playing FIFA I think that that's instantly that puts us at the top of the world record are you in the video game sorry are you in the video game no because I you know I was player 15 years ago I'm too old you know I'm from another generation yeah like you um is there generational battles like in in in America you know like Charles Barkley gets on TV once a week and just says the NBA soft yes do

they have that exactly the same so we still think that our handball was better than their house of game change is it more often it's more more physical and faster oh yes like the NBA yeah you're saying that the game was more physical when you play it or nowadays is more physical so you think that but you don't think that it's good that it's more physical I agree on that so I think the talent there's less talent and more physical interesting yes interesting but probably if we have to play nowadays you know we always talk about let's try to imagine right science fiction we 20 years ago in our best moment playing right now with the players that are the best ones right now we always fight to say who's gonna win I think that we probably we will lose because in terms of

physical condition that those guys are better trained than us and they are stronger than us okay but you never know it's something that we will never happen so yeah we're gonna do you favor we're gonna cut that out of the podcast because you should never ever admit that like as an old older guy like the old generation they have to always say they would beat the younger generation always yes and just like you couldn't play with us yes because they cannot prove it right yeah exactly you never have to back you're better all right my last question has handball had any kind of steroid controversy no we don't have a real sport we don't need to have a cheating a cheating like using something weird on the ball can you get on it yes you can get on that but

has there been any kind of controversy because that's the mark of a true sport is finding a way to cheat on it no no we are not so bad it's only cheating if you get caught right yeah you guys don't know what's going on yeah you need a cheating controversy and then and the gambling is good and the video games good jay cutler playing and I'm close to saying handball is a real sport it's a real sport yeah I mean I'm close it's always looked like I would like to invite you to watch I suck I know I would like to invite you to watch a game in Europe and you will change your mind I'm not saying that I'd be good at handball that's no no no no analyze and to try to see life I'd love to and it's gonna be a shock for you do they play they don't there's no

handball in America anywhere no no they're handball here can we do that like we go watch a game here yes but it is not not the level that we have in Europe okay so what you want to see here is not exactly what you what we are doing in Europe okay is it like a tennis crowd or is the crowd rowdy like oh good question fireworks no fireworks yes we have fireworks I love we have we have the you know the final event of the Champions League which is the biggest competition in Europe because we play like like in soccer you know yeah yeah we play the national competition and European competition European competition is like the Champions League the final event is in Cologne in Germany and it's not far away in terms of show environment atmosphere than all

the star gaming off from the NBA do you ever play any games outside no it's indoor okay play outside yeah in the all professional in the NBA all-star game there's no defense being played though well I'm saying about the show a lot of prostitution and the concerts and the things that going in fighting exact well fine fighting yeah what about goal celebrations do you get to have like take your shirt off no you don't have time to do it people is clapping and enjoying but you know you have to score and you have to go fast to defense right that might be an issue for people is cheering a lot and and enjoying a lot watching the handball games last last question is there a shot clock so yeah is there a shot clock like if you're if I'm up if we're up 10 no can I

just hold the ball no no beginning the referee will we'll say that you don't want to attack and we'll give the ball to the other team you have to make a movement in the ref's head you have to make a movement towards goal exactly at all times yes can never go backwards you can go backwards but if it's one two but if it's all all the way back was then the referee will take out the other ball like soccer when it teams up no you cannot do that in handball okay listen I I love watching handball in the Olympics when it comes on it's like a nice surprise because I don't expect it and then I always just fall myself back into the same pattern of like we could die like this kick we should I can compete right now this is exactly what I'm saying that we cannot lose with a new

generation I mean we cannot prove it right you were wrong and we can prove it that's exactly what you're saying right now is exactly our strategy going into this whole thing is make a bold claim and never never in a million years but we get people talking about it and then it ends up good for us right I think the handball community at large who's probably mad at us but again we've actually probably done a lot for the handball community not to pat ourselves on the back for shooting the US brought it out but yeah we our intention is to never actually play so that we don't actually have to prove what we say all right well okay thank you so much I enjoy it a lot yeah it's a lot of fun I love Barcelona by the way so I think Barcelona is the

best city on planet Earth thank you that's it I appreciate that now when it's like you come to Barcelona let me know it okay you're getting petitions to go to the soccer games in Barcelona whatever you want that's the only reason I said it was to get free stuff you get it yeah all right thanks so much thank you very much that interview with Xavier O'Callaghan was brought to you guys by me undies I'm rocking my me undies right now it is underwear season officially underwear season now that's no longer short season imagine your fifth grade self looking into the future and learning that as an adult you got an undies membership they're probably laugh hysterically but the jokes on them because me undies is known for their super soft undies and their flexible fun membership

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first up we got firefest Hank why don't you get us going my firefest is that there's a lot of like nice valentine's day things around the office from various sponsors that have sent stuff in but unfortunately my girlfriend also works at the office so i am unable to take those things and then pass them off as my own gifts you were going to give her the the 12 packs of bud light that came in the heart shape and there's a bunch of flowers from there's a bunch of flowers from one hundred flowers yeah one hundred flowers you can say that i don't want to say the wrong name but yeah one hundred flowers uh but i was told that if i did that then i would not be seeing her friday night so you should get i say that you challenge her on that you get her because it's

like what am i supposed to just go out and buy other flowers from like another store like what's the difference between those flowers and she doesn't come in the studio often so why don't you get her like a mike all-star jersey hmm or that's pretty good our coach oh candle yes coach a little bit uh why don't you get her who's that who who's that helmet that's the rudy army helmet you can get her a rudy helmet who the fuck signed that helmet why don't you get her a rondine bobblehead these things could work i guess we'll see what happens but yeah just kind of bullshit because you get a terrible towel for a cleanup uh huh uh yeah plt's not giving up his empty 2020 absolutely not nope you're not taking my mad dog no chance uh yeah just does she like full backs mm-hmm i don't

think so okay that's kind of tough narrows it down a little bit all right well we'll figure out here there's a baseball over here just give her this baseball does she hate roger cattel pitchers and catchers report baby um all right that's good far fist what's what's the worst valentine's day gift that you've ever given nothing forgotten and screwed it up yeah yeah yeah nothing that's a big one nothing it's definitely bad all right what's your firefest pft uh my my firefest of the week is all these airplane debates oh yeah so it's back on the internet we go through this once every six months whether or not it's appropriate to recline your seat on an airplane it is now they give you the option to do it but it also makes life a living hell for the person

behind you if that person is above six foot two or if that person is trying to work on a laptop so now you have this big debate on whether or not you should recline or not because what happens is you lean back and yes the person behind you can lean back and then that keeps going until you get to the back of the plane and that person can't lean back and that person was in a viral video yesterday where he was just punching the seat right of the person who leaned back in front of him right and that's my firefest because this is the big game that airplane is playing on you okay all the airplane companies have us fighting ourselves they've got us divided when it's actually their fault for making planes so small that it's an inconvenience now when somebody leans

back two inches into your space right we should all be collectively mad as a passenger but it isn't an inconvenience when people do that it is but only because they made the seat so small right so we should all focus on our common enemy which is airplane companies they also like how about they should just get airplanes where like half of them are for people six feet and over and half or six feet and under and like some people can sit in the front and then you're making me sit in the back of a plane i didn't say are you admitting you're do i need my own water i'm not saying anything i'm just saying like we should have a little bit of comfort for people who are a little bit taller that's all i don't have a problem with that but that's not going to

happen because the next wave of designs and planes it's going to have us having these like little standing seats like you get on one of those roller coasters that suspends you so probably be cheap they're taking yeah oh it's going to be spirit airlines is they have the patent my thing is like if you're if you're a big person and you and you use the recline button that's fine but it's it's usually when it's like the like a child or someone who has more than enough space because they're not you know i mean like five two and they recline the minute the fucking plane takes off uh that's that's a killer yeah that's a killer my other firefest is that oklahoma state in nebraska announced a home and home in 2034 and 2035 i have plans i have plans fuck yes god damn

it i'm ready for it book your hotel rooms now i'm ready for it i actually have an extra bonus firefest for you i don't know if you saw this pfd and i i didn't i couldn't find the article but i saw it someone tweeted me this picture what is that and it says you so your firefest should be that you're not part of texas's uh staff football staff because you kind of are uh it says special teams is now called we fence at ut like that i see it yeah that's bullshit that's bullshit like that's you that's you we fence yeah i mean that's you we fit so your firefest is basically texas has found a way to hire you without hiring you that's matthew mccana here i said i came up with that i saw it i was like what the fuck yeah i was going to say james winston didn't have laser

eye surgery he had laser we surgery because he's such a teammate yes um but i didn't and now i feel bad because texas absolutely cucked me on that we fence we fence you know what that's that's the position that i play in the xfo there you go we fence yes there it is um all right my firefest is bitcoin it's up again and i bought it two years ago when it was at its peak forgot that i bought it well i didn't forget but i was like oh it's never going to be back up there because it crashed right away now that it's up again back to what i bought it at i think i want to buy more which means it will crash again which is basically the biggest sucker of bitcoin of all time i think it's is it like 15 or something it's it's for one bitcoin i think the bitcoin's back baby bitcoin

price it's back one thing cryptocurrency is back one thing i've learned about investing is that most people ten thousand most people make their money off investing by buying something and then forgetting about it and then finding it later right whether it's like a famous baseball card that your mom kept in the shed for a while or if it's just something in your portfolio they're like oh should i bought that okay look i can see it actually on the chart right here so in 2000 end of 2017 i think i bought it at like 15 000 and then it went all the way down to 3000 and that's when you sold no i haven't sold because i forgot oh you still have access you still have it yeah yeah but i'm yours was i'm now it's now back up that i'm like oh i should probably get back in this game

so i'm really just buying high your bitcoin is probably in that magic the gathering online exchange that lost all like 250 million dollars worth of bitcoin i just keep buying high on bitcoin with no other strategy honestly that's the funnest way to do it with something that doesn't even exist it's like watching a game and betting the live over after three touchdowns in the first quarter well if you didn't spend very much money on it it wouldn't feel as important to you right but since you spend a shitload of money you're like oh that's cool someday people keep saying i keep the other problem is i follow a few like cryptocurrency guys and if you follow a few cryptocurrency guys you're just convinced that the world will just one day just be one giant bitcoin

like nothing else exists there's some of these people that they're like in a cult when they talk about bitcoins um all right next segment we have do we care about the dunk contest probably no i'm actually gonna go i'm going to chicago this weekend we're gonna be on radio three to five at decklands in old town come out and say hello we've got an mba jam tournament at joes on weed on saturday i'm going to the dunk contest and even with that said i don't care the only way i care about it is when they show the the pictures in the stands of the guys that have all the different scorecards strung together they've got like 10 of them and oh i gotta get a scorecard you have to get you have to get multiple of them so that you can put up a score that's like

10 million 10 hundred 10 million 10 thousand 10 hundred etc etc like nine digits right i so i was thinking about it i'm going just because i want to say that i went to one but i really don't want to go but i want to say that i went to one so should i just say i went to one no you should go and you should get a scorecard and you should get an old school handicap from like 2005 and just like pretend that you're a court or actually just record the entire thing on the handicap i'm also very woke that i think jerry rynesdorf is going to take a shitload of pictures of a full united center and then like start using that for the rest of season being like packed house tonight photoshop but why does they all-star game on the court packed house they should actually

so bulls are smart they would leave the court exactly the same for the rest of the year yes and then just keep using that over and over didn't didn't lebron say he was going to compete this year no it's so it's Dwight Howard which will be fun that will be fun pac conaton uh erin gordon i think is in it and uh derrick jones jr from from your miami heat my miami heat i thought you're asking for college oh no no no yeah because when boomer does that it's always yeah so that so Dwight will be fun yeah Dwight's gonna be good Dwight will be fun but everyone else i don't know i mean pat conaton everyone will get erin gordon yeah erin okay all right it's okay yeah i've talked myself into uh still not caring the thing is the dunk contest uh whatever was two three four i might

i might be old at this point but the erin gordon's yes that was great dunk contest in the three point contest but people like it was the greatest dunk contest of all time and people were just like all right that was good right like there's no way it's gonna be that good and even if it is people aren't gonna care which is crazy it's it actually is kind of crazy because if it's also like indicative of the entire all-star weekend remember when the all-star game was fun because it felt like guys guys would try in the fourth quarter yeah now the teams are all it's not east west it's all jumbled the lebronification of the nbl it really is actually the geonusification because he's terrible at drafting it's uh in the three point contest has a four-pointer now

it's like what is this ice cuba vacation i feel like an old man yelling in clouds i like that i like that hank yeah the oshafication they're trying to keep up with the big three they are i mean coincidence nope absolutely not the lebron oshafication there are the nba it's not my nba uh what about what do you think is the corniest thing that white howard's going to do to try to make one of his average stunts look cool he's definitely he definitely asked uh lebron if he would be in it and lebron was like nope he might wear a lebron jersey he might wear a cuba he's gonna wear a cuba jersey he just said it he's gonna wear he's gonna do he actually he's gonna jump over a pit of snakes oh mamas that would that would be cool that would be cool all right there uh white howard

you won't jump over a pit of venomous snakes he's not gonna do that he's gonna end up wearing like a harry potter outfit yeah i can fly fuck no you know what he's i'm playing i'm going to go extra guys he's i never understood do it howard was a great no i don't know he's just asking you're like no but no he's right he's gonna do something corny yeah he's gonna do hank and i i did not mind that i like to do it howard he's gonna do something corny i thought he was a good person spy spider the spider man or no was superman superman you were doubting him big hat yeah big hat was what you thought doi howard was like kind of full like he was done yeah no i yeah he's been a very good this year yeah yeah he's been a lot better than i can't treat it white howard

like the xfl oh you're really still hurt about your xfl huh it's very hurt are they paying you on the side because you shouldn't be this hurt zero dollars um all right the all the money would be going to charity by the way that's true uh all right speaking of money money the second last segment we got to figure out this isn't even a segment it's just a brainstorm we got to figure out how to get money from mike bloomberg because he's giving it to everyone for his campaign he is paying social uh he's paying people on instagram 150 to say something nice about him he's paying fuck jerry he's paying staffers tons of money giving them a shitload of like perks it is the firefest because he's he's contracting out the firefest people right to try to make him cool so

he's doing business with fuck jerry with like a big group of meme accounts but he has not reached out to us i've made videos for bloomberg for free mini mike i want got mike i don't know if i'm going to vote for you i'm definitely not but i would still like your money he yes he he uh i feel like he would respect that yes as a money person yeah like mike we will be bought like we will we will we've never done a political endorsement on this show but we will do a political endorsement for ten million dollars yes i will endorse the fuck out of mike bloom and i actually think in a weird way nine million nine hundred ninety nine thousand dollars he might do it like he i was reading this thread today how basically his entire campaign is just buy people like he okay he he he did an

event where he had like everyone out it was like every president's campaign until 1860 he did a grassroots campaign where he it was grassroots but it was just a fully catered uh campaign event so it's like it's like a rally but he just fed everyone okay and then he he gets staffers and he just gives them free macbooks and shit we're in on this yes so tell us it's like if the obama phone thing we're true yeah tell us how much mike we will do it mini mike we will stop saying mini mike yeah i'll elevate you i'll tell you what mike bloomberg i will i will stand next to you yeah at every public event that you have between now and the election and you will look at least like your five foot seven you got this mini mike you got this buddy just pay me i feel like

sometimes people very rich people can smell the poor on me like this guy this guy grew up not rich you know i'm saying like i'm trying to get money from mike but i feel like mike is a kind of guy that typically gives money to people that have money you know no but he doesn't want to be seen giving money to people yeah that's basically oh he's getting desperate he's just gonna give money to everyone no our economy is based off rich people giving rich people money he's i think i think mini mike if we just push them hard enough maybe we need to start bashing him on on social media and then like old mafia style yeah like hey see you having a really hard time with your instagram comments you want us to protect you we could hop in those we could do the and then

just stop yeah stop responding we could go uh hey mini mike yeah mini mike that's that might be the move just know have uh everyone reply with little mini mini coopers to every single one of his tweets yeah till he pays us to stop well also we didn't invent that name that's a trump name no yeah i know it's electric i don't it's a great nickname i'm just i'm trying to think what we could do that separates us because we if people start doing that people might be like oh that's a trump those are trump fans that are doing it i want all the credit for this little small uh tyke bloomberg yeah little tyke mike the tyke mike the tyke mike the tyke there it is yeah mike the tyke okay mike the tyke oh more patch on your wheel head all right let's finish up we did uh we we did do guys on

chicks on wednesday so we figured we'd do a special guys on chicks for valentine's day we'll finish up with that and then uh we do have a show on president's day don't you worry we'll have a show for you uh i think some people are off president's day yeah yeah mike bloomberg's definitely off yeah that's unless he pays us then maybe he'll be president then you could be you too could get president's day off mike mm-hmm starter sit wearing a new set of seductive lingerie as a gift for your boyfriend is it hot to slip into something new and sexy like he's sleeping over with a stranger or selfish to buy something for yourself then claim it's for his benefit no he would never guys don't think like that yeah he'll just be like that's for you he's gonna be like i have an erection that

what a great gift yeah so don't give me the gift of horny yeah lordy so start speaking of boners happy valentine's day boner dogs would you rather get a boner every time you pet a dog or have dogs get boners every time you pet them oh man i think the uh yeah yeah let the dog have their boners yeah because if you can just be like that's nature people will be like what the hell's got some explaining to do yeah be a normal person just get a boner on the way the airport something nipslip cat and pft my boyfriend is i'm talking weird the last few months every time i bring up summertime he's getting a beach house in belmar and thinks about belmar how hard he has to fit in my car at dj's shout out rico bosco every time i mentioned coming to see him he gets

all bland and making it seem like he doesn't want to date in the summer classic how should i handle my boyfriend who seems to be more concerned about dj's than me does he just want to fuck other girls babe it's not even gonna be fun we're probably just gonna like i don't know go to the beach and then go to sleep at like nine listen here's the thing about the jersey shore is you fall in love with clubs you don't fall in love with with other people so yeah like you you walk by the parker house and you're like damn girl that's a 9.5 right there this is one of those ones basement where if you probably just want to break up now because otherwise you're he's gonna like ignore you get in a fight with you or do something drastic like the first week of summer or resent you

yeah so it's not yeah this is probably not gonna work no one's in a relationship at the jersey shore or inside of a real world house no actually this is what you do this is what you really do you tell him you do the you pull the robber craft go ahead see what's out there tell him you know what we'll have an open relationship this summer and he will undoubtedly strike out the first two weeks and then you go down there with the lingerie and you're like you want this back done what you do you just different question but still yeah same you show up just one night wearing nothing but the lingerie at the osprey you fuck all his friends and then he sees you from across the room and it's like jennifer love hewitt in that uh can't hardly wait yeah no no do that though do

do the uh say we'll have an open relationship then fuck all his friends hey pmt boys especially honk longwood i'm meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time this weekend at a habachi place drinks will be flowing shrimp will be flying any any tips y'all can offer up on what to do or not to do to impress my future parents-in-law uh yeah just act really surprised and impressed at everything that the chef does mm-hmm you're anyone who like applause when they make the onion volcano that person is a lot of fun to be around yes and i would say make sure you take it easy on the my ties those those things will sneak up on you mm-hmm oh uh when you're trying to look cool and and uh and pay for the tab watch out the table is very very hot don't put don't put your credit card

bills on there yes hey boys especially very handsome hank i'm currently talking to two guys one goes to minnesota the other goes to maryland i don't go to either i was wondering which guy i should drop in which guy i should pursue to be my boo during basketball season the maryland guy football season the minnesota guy maryland basketball it's not the same why because it's not a cc i kind of agree yeah yeah it's kind of like pit and seracuse being in the acc so it will never not be weird yeah i agree did you see that shirt it was selling at walmart said minnesota badgers yeah i love the pros and the best of pros there is a big way let's go everyone goes to college honestly the go with the guy from maryland because minnesota is just too cold yes i don't

think i could ever be in a relationship uh but lake house summer kind of fun uh land of 10 000 lakes eastern shore summer i don't know the the global warming that's sure it's gonna get smaller and smaller good point date date the guy from maryland now and then break up with him and start dating that guy from minnesota once the shore is encroached to like anapolis right all right last one sub boys especially liam and the zillion beers dude oh i was going through my boyfriend's instagram and saw that he follows the porn hub account should i confront him about this or just let it go no let it go they just do entertaining posts it's just engaging social content what i mean come on guys watch porn girls watch porn too why do you need to follow the uh right but that's

instagram watch porn but why follow i'm about to follow it instagram would be a lot instagram really should come up with something where it's like hey if you're a porn star every follow is incognito we'll show how many followers you have but everyone who follows you can't be tracked it would make the world a better place honestly it would make who you follow on instagram a better place by the way have you guys done like the search on instagram there's when it says like when you do the search it's i love instagram because it's a search and then it's like sports sports sports big boobs and then you click on big boobs and you just scroll and it's just more big boobs i have not know what they're trying to do they're they know what you're talking about look this search

oh the yeah that's based off other things you've like right i mean i like sports and big boobs yes no i you're like lebron james no i love sports big boobs but it's you're like they've really done a good job they like give themselves away with like oh this ad came up on my website like what the hell they've done a good job of this though it really really makes it so it's like right there i mean really i i'm i'm looking at the porn hub posts they're all just very engaging and he stats about the superbowl and how many people masturbated those are the fakest things ever good memes and rebel always is like look at how edgy my content is asa carries on there former former co-worker that's probably what it was he wanted to keep up with how he wanted to keep with how asa was doing

yeah exactly she's it looks like she's getting naked there it is um all right that's our show we'll see everyone on monday i think we'll run jokim noa jokim noa possibly jokim noa great interview come in monday love you guys happy valentine's day me talking away i don't know what i'm to say i say it anyway today is on my way to find you to shine away i'm coming for your love of beauty

me me It's better to be safe than sorry Thank you for watching!