Pardon My Take - Phil Hughes + Mount Rushmore of Clubhouse Cancers

Episode Date: July 25, 2018

Football is back because JJ Watt is in the news. We talk storylines we wish would happen at training camp this summer (2:20 - 8:18). Hot Seat/Cool Throne (8:28 - 18:36). Mt Rushmore of biggest clubhouse cancers in sports (18:35 - 37:52). Former Yankees starter and current Padres reliever Phil Hughes joins the show to talk about his career, the 09 World Series, Derek Jeter as a teammate and whether he views his career as a success. Segments include PR 101 for Gary Sanchez losing his pinstripes (37:52 - 71:49). Bachelor talk for guys that don't want the Bachelor. Tim Tebow update and Guys on Chicks.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have Phil Hughes, pitcher for the San Diego Padres, also former pitcher for the New York Yankees, and we talk about the 2009 World Series, some of his teammates. What it's like pitching? All kinds of fun stuff. He was in the studio, so it was a great interview.

We also have the Mount Rushmore of Clubhouse Cancers in honor of T.O. going to the Hall of Fame and Dwight Howard's new contract, and because it is Wednesday, guys on chicks. Before we get to all of that, for over 20 years, Direct TV has been the exclusive home to NFL Sunday Ticket. The only way to get every live game every Sunday, good news NFL fans, Direct TV has expanded the service. If you're a student actively enrolled in a college or university, you can now get NFL Sunday Ticket without a satellite.

Plus there's an exclusive student discount to see if you're eligible. Go online to nflsundayticket.tv and stream every NFL Sunday Ticket game this season to follow your favorite team no matter where you live. Use promo code PMT at checkout to save 15% packages also available for football fans living in areas where Direct TV is not available. Watch every out-of-market NFL game every Sunday afternoon live on your favorite devices. Stream NFL Sunday Ticket live, no satellite required, again promo code PMT, 15% of checkout. You want to hear some of the plays you can stream at PFT?

Yes. Xbox One, I got it, PlayStation 4, someone's got it, Apple TV, also got it, Roku, Chrome Cast, Samsung Smart TV, Laptop, Smartphone, Tablets. Go to nflsundayticket.tv right this second and put in that promo code PMT, 15% off, football is back. All right, let's go. It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports. Welcome to part of my take presented by SeekGeek.

Today is Wednesday, July 25th and you know football is back because there's a lot of buzz about JJ Watt not being injured. He passed his conditioning test with flying colors. Yes. And then he retweeted about it and said, haha, that's so funny that you caught. I'm so embarrassed you caught me crushing my conditioning test. Oh man, who told you that? Was it the Instagram videos?

I don't even know if you did an Instagram video. But yeah, JJ Watt being like, is this the year that JJ Watt can stay healthy all year? That means football is officially back. I'm excited for the Hall of Fame game. I tricked my dumb brain, tricked my dumb body into getting all amped up for the Hall of Fame game and then I forget that after like the first five minutes of the game, it's just absolute dog shit. Yeah.

And they don't even, I don't even know if like Mitch or Joe Flacco will play. You remember they like canceled it a couple years ago because the field was so bad? And that big guy, the sweaty guy, the president of the NFL Hall of Fame, he took the world by storm, stole my breath with how much he sweat. You know what? Actually this Hall of Fame game, we're going to get a shitload of RG3. Yeah. We're going to get so much RG3 on that field that has the paint melt all over it and become

a dangerous playing service. That is the perfect storm. He's just going to, he's going to light on fire. Yes. And Chase Daniel. Chase Daniel versus RG3. There you go. That's actually a prime time matchup in 2013, 12.

Yeah. Chase Daniel is a little earlier. Is a case study of a guy that, that looks the part that just shows up and kind of shuts up every single day and never gets in the news for anything. And they're like, oh yeah, I hope you're a second, third string quarterback. Why not? Yeah. Got a name that you remember.

And you're just like, oh yeah, Chase Daniel. He's somewhere. Okay. I'm sure he'll be somewhere else. All right. So with that, training camps are starting to report. A couple have already reported. I think tomorrow is a big day, right?

Yeah. Tomorrow is a huge day. Tomorrow is the big day where a lot of teams report. You get all the people coming back, all the players coming back. Hopefully no injuries. That's my, that's the worst part about training camps. We also, we've done it every year where we talk about what story lines you're going to hear for training camp.

And you know them. They're going to be like, the guy who lost 20 pounds looks faster than ever. The guy who catches everything. All these, you know, stories that we, they basically just copy and paste their story from last year and throw it in there. The, the coach that's taking the training wheels off the second year QB. Yep. Opening up the playbook a little bit.

We're going to get a lot of those. Yeah. The second year QB ready to take the jump. Well, Ryan Tannehill is going to take the next step. Oh, it's his year. So we're not going to do that because everyone else is going to do it. So we're going to instead do training camp storylines. We wish we're real or we could hear that are not actually going to happen, but we're like

a little hard like to see. Yeah. So you want to throw it? Let's just go, you know, just throw them out there. All right. My first one, this is a big ask, but man, it'll be so nice. I'd, I'd like to see Andy Reed attempt a conditioning test. Ooh.

I, so I also had Andy Reed down there. I said, uh, just a story about Andy Reed running late game clocks at scenarios in like this and you read, he's going to really put in the time and effort this year to learn how timeouts work. You know what they should do? They should actually just put Andy Reed inside like an isolation chamber in Kansas City just with Madden simulations running 24 seven and have him just like do clock management for Madden game.

Right. Although he would definitely do that thing where his finger slips and he like, you know, when he finger slips and you, and you hike, but you also pass at the same time and then you had called the timeout by accident. Also, Andy Reed basically for the entire 60 minutes. Also the buttons on the controller might be a little small for Andy. You, you need to have like those old people phone buttons that are just like massive Xbox controller buttons.

Yeah. My grandmother had one of those and then she died. So. Um, all right. How about, how about this one? How about Pete Carroll being like a taskmaster this year? Maybe Pete Carroll going the other way and being like, new team, no more fun. No more pranks.

I'd like to read a story about Pete like, has Pete Carroll turned a corner, stopped chewing gum and started being a disciplinarian. And now he's writing for a political fact check too. Yeah. He's like a straight lace. Right. No conspiracies around. Yeah.

I'd also like to see that. Pete Carroll. What, what is debunking internet rumors? Yeah. What did Pete Carroll do for the first day of training camp? He made the entire team watch loose change. No. Pete Carroll.

No. The opposite. He switches it all up. Oh. Pete Carroll starts writing for Snopes. Yeah. Okay. That's actually good.

Yeah. I like that. I like that. Um, how about, um, I'd like to, so we always see, um, mountain from Game of Thrones start to show up around this time of year. Just like in various locker rooms. Like, oh, this guy's big. Let's let him into a locker room.

I'd like to see him put the pads on and get a shot to make a roster as a fullback. Ooh. Okay. Who's still like that? Maybe Brock Lesnar comes back. That also would be one I'd like to see. Yeah. He's been off PEDs now.

Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Kind of, kind of along. Well, he's actually, he probably has because he's in between WWE and UFC right now. Yeah. And we all know how, how off cycle. We all know how, how strictly he follows those guidelines.

Yeah. Well, no, I'm saying like he literally is probably off because he's not like actually actively gearing up for something. Yeah. As soon as he is, then he will be back on. I was going to say, so our, our sweet prince, John Kuhn hasn't been too active. I don't think he's on a roster right now. I'd like to see him make a comeback, but I'd like to see him make a comeback by announcing

it on Twitter, recreating the undertaker, still a live gift. So John Kuhn just like in bed, just like rising up. I like that a lot. I like that a lot. Um, how about the Browns, uh, they're going to be on hard knocks. How about the Browns just like not having anything light on fire or anyone get horrifically injured or Baker Mayfield doing something stupid. Like that would be cool.

Just one whole training camp where the Browns are like, Hey, this could work. Just normal. Yeah. Well, they're already, they're already not normal because they're doing the thing where you have to earn your stripe. Yeah. The skid mark that goes down your helmet, they're making you earn that this year. Yes.

Um, I would like to see an owner sex tape. Oh. Who? Okay. Embrace debate. Which owner would you like to see most? Jerry Jones. Jerry Jones.

Jerry Jones is number one. I guarantee that exists. He's got the porn star stash. Yeah. Bob, Bob Kraft has been in Vegas like partying with Meek Mill and Ben Simmons. Like he's in the mix with the young people. Ooh, Bob Kraft, I don't want you to take this wrong way Hank, but I guarantee he's got a small penis.

Yeah. Well, age, I feel like you're, everything shrinks with age. Uh, Stan Cronkey, I feel like he would do an eyes wide shut thing. It would be like not, so he wouldn't be in the porn, but he'd be watching the porn. He'd be in the corner, like getting cuckold. A long, long thin cigarette and his wispy mustache. That's pretty good. Just bossing people up.

Bob McNair, maybe inviting the whole team to like, you know, big gang bang. Yeah. Trying to get back into their good graces. Yes. Yeah. Have the whole, have the whole team show up. The whole squad. Yeah, the whole squad.

The only other one I had written down was... That'd be a good name for it too, H-O-L-E squad. The whole squad. Yeah. Ooh. Now, browsers, when you make this, please make sure that we get a cut. Yeah. The Houston sections.

Yeah. Or free date. Whatever you want. Yeah. So naturally. Yeah. But that's coming. Yeah.

I just had one written down, just like a long story about how Mike Tomlin actually has control of the Steelers. Yeah. There's a whole like, hey, this is actually, he's got his finger on the pulse of the Steelers. This is, you know, no one's upset. No one's Instagramming, you know, videos like from closed door meetings, none of that stuff. Mike Tomlin really has got it under control this year in Pittsburgh. I would like to see Des Bryant signed with Rams.

And I'd like to see Odell Beckham get traded to the Rams. And I'd like to see Brent and Marshall get cut by the Seahawks and signed by the Rams. Yeah. I just want every head case on the Rams. That would be a fun time. Sean McVeigh is going to have his little hands full. Yeah. But he's got that nice beard.

The beard? No. We talked about the beard. Not a football guy. No. I like the beard. I like the beard. But you're in LA.

You have to do something in LA. Real football guy wouldn't care. What about just Jeff Fisher getting a job? Well, he has a job. But another job. A better job. A real job. Yes.

Just someone bring him in to just be, uh, maybe, oh, what if Jeff Fisher was... He seems to be in the booth somewhere. Yeah. But what if he was like the ref of the Inter team scrimmages that they do? That would be cool. That would be cool. Yeah. Absolutely.

You need someone in their quality control of the entire game, Jeff Fisher. Or what if Jeff Fisher was like, you know, the replay challenge advisor from up in the booth, but he would just, his whole job would just be to tell the coach which pocket he has his flag. Yes. 17 pockets. Andy, Andy, it's in your right pocket. Yeah.

Which right? Yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. My other one. All right. Should we do hot seat cool turn? Yeah.

Let's do it. Yeah. Let's do it. Then we get our Mount Rushmore, which is very contentious. Yeah. I'm going to say it right now. Very provocative. Yes.

It's going to get the people going. PFT, why don't you start? All right. My hot seat. My first one is going to be the narrative. I'm putting the narrative on the hot seat. More specifically, the narrative that LeBron James doesn't have any good teammates. Okay.

These, Michael Beasley said, they asked him how these Lakers are going to mesh. He said, well, I think it's going to come together like a basketball team. So that's a big, big spit in the eyeball of all the people out there, the haters and the losers that said that the Lakers didn't have a basketball team. And he also said, you got 14 guys other than LeBron James that know how to play basketball. Yup. Also a fact. Also a fact.

I feel like Beasley wasn't high for this interview. No. He got the math right. Way too much sense. He got the math right. Did anybody actually believe that Michael Beasley knew how many players won a roster? No. Definitely not.

Well, and also he's super cool. Beasley is one of those guys like, he probably, when he's not smoking, he's just like a really boring guy. He needs that to, to bring out his, you know, personality. So my other hot seat is the Chicago Cubs because Marlin's man is, he threw a curse on you guys. Well, have you seen the update? He made a powerful enemy in Marlin's man.

He is very upset with the Cubs brass. He doesn't have it in for the Cubs fans. He made sure to indicate that he still loves the people of Chicago. You haven't seen the update. But they're not letting him do his line out like in the open. They're banishing him to the concourse for everybody that wants to come up and take a picture. This is embarrassing for us as big J journalists because you have not seen the update.

What's the update? The update is he got to the bottom of it. So he went on a full on Twitter temper tantrum because he couldn't, like you said, take his pictures and he blamed the Cubs. And then he talked to the Cubs afterwards and probably went right up to Rickett's office and got a meeting with him. Well, he's got his own office. Turns out it was the Arizona Diamondbacks family members that were complaining about

Marlin's man, not the Cubs security. So he apologized to the Cubs and he, he took off the curse. I think the Diamondbacks family members curse on them. Okay. The Diamondbacks are cursed. Sorry, Dan Herron. Yeah. You might want to help, you know, help the squad out.

So he is, just to be clear, at Wrigley Field, he's allowed to do the line of people taking pictures with him. Oh yeah. The Cubs security will not stop it. Out in the open. Yes. Okay. I was going to say like, what's next?

Like he has to drink from a separate fountain. Like this is some serious discrimination for Marlin's man. The best part was when he showed the, uh, when he's showed the hypocrisy of the Cubs and it was just the beer vendor doing his job. How come the vendors are allowed to walk up and down the aisles? But I can't have 40 people lined up to take a picture with me in the middle of an inning. Oh man. It doesn't make sense.

All right. So I, you know what? I'm big enough man to admit, uh, fact check in real time. Yep. Um, the hot seat is now on the Arizona Diamondbacks. So boom. Here we go. Yeah.

They, uh, it was peak Marlin's man on, uh, on Monday night. He, he was going on, he was going on and on and on. Yeah. The official, the official apologies. So after game Cubs security and usher's explained what happened and we successfully took pictures with everyone. And, uh, so I guess it was, yeah, the, the family members were, were very upset after accommodating Cubs security, two games in a row to leave my seat between innings and

go up to platform photos Cubs fans request. Last night they stopped that prohibited photos between it. None of this makes sense between innings at D-backs family's request, but didn't tell me that until after the game. Okay. So tough, tough. If you're a D-back family member, now you got Marlin's man on your ass. Very, very bad for you guys.

What do you got for a cool, my cool throne? I was nervous by the way. Yeah. The only reason I know you should be. I was like, I cannot deal with a Marlin's man curse. No. I mean, the Indians haven't won a world series since you put a curse on him. True, true, true.

He also that retroactively engaged too. Yes. Because they've never won a world series even before Marlin's man put a curse on him. That's how powerful he is. Yes. Um, so my cool throne is going to be dad bods. Hmm. Tom Brady had his, uh, his picture taken.

He's rocking the dad bod. Nice. Got a little pooch going there. I don't know why people were surprised by that or like, I could like it was something there. What do you mean by pooch? I'm not surprised. You're showing your thin privilege.

No, I'm not. You can't say the P word. I've got, I've got a little pooch too. No, this is thin privilege pretending that you're, you're not thin. You're thin. That is a pooch. No, you're thin. That's a pooch.

This is, listen, as I've learned that thin privilege is a real problem that we're all dealing with. The thin people think that like the world is just made for them. Hmm. Well, he does have a dad bod. And he is like 44. Yeah. Yeah.

He's allowed to have a dad bod. I think once you get three Super Bowl rings. How many strawberries do you think cost that? You're married to like the world's most successful supermodel. It's okay to have a dad bod. That's a good question. His diet, there's nothing in his diet that would lend itself to creating a dad bod. Right.

Which I don't know. That's something kind of fishy. Yeah. He's had it, but the picture of him in the combine, he had a dad bod. He's never not had a dad bod. So he had stolen our dad bod. He had a dad bod before he had kids. Yeah.

He toned up. Hmm. Yeah. It's all about pliability. It's not about looking fit. The dad bod is our recurring guest on the show, Burt Belima. Oh. Belima.

Belima. Belima. Burt Belima. Because he is now working for the Patriots. Yeah. He's got an official job. I think his job title is like consultant to Bill Belichick. Yeah.

Special assistant to the traveling secretary to Bill Belichick. I'm going to throw a red flag on this one. I don't think Brett Belima has a dad bod. He does. He's just a house. I know what you're saying. And I thought about this. He's the ultimate dad bod.

He's got the god bod. Okay. That's just the alpha dad bod. Okay. He's got the t-ball, little league baseball dad bod. Yeah. Yeah. I'd have to take a look at his legs because I think when you're like ankles also grow,

then you lose the dad bod. You know what I mean? The dad bod is kind of a, hey, I've just been eating pizza basically every day for the last like three years and my body's just kind of falling apart. You get the ankle support too and you have like those, when a guy's shoes start to kind of bend, you know what I mean? When they go sideways on you and you're kind of spilling out of your shoes, that's when the dad bod stops.

Very specific. Yes. People know what I'm talking about. One thing I love about him though is he has the ultimate football guy look, which is when he's wearing a whistle around his neck. The whistle doesn't fall down all the way due to gravity. It gets perched up on the top of his belly. It goes sideways.

It sits there perfectly. Awesome. It's so cool. My other cool throne is my fashion sense. So you guys may have noticed the last like a week or so I've been wearing this. Were you revealing this already? Yeah. That's really cool Levi's shirt.

I'm calling my shot. Damn. I'm wearing this really cool Levi's shirt. It's actually French. This is my French fashion sense. But you bought it in America. I bought it in America. So I noticed, not to brag, I was over in France for a little bit on our vacation, went to

Normandy, saw the troops where all the troops were back when the troops did their thing. But one thing that I noticed in France is that everybody wears this Levi's shirt. It's like a really big fashion thing. And so it's going to come over to the U.S. and I'm calling my shot right. I'm going to be the first one in the U.S. to start wearing it. So then when you see all these famous people wear it, you're like, yo, PFT actually introduced that to the United States. I actually agree with you because I have noticed it more often, but I feel like you're playing

your cards a little too early because now it's going to be like, are they wearing it because PFT said it or are they wearing it because it was also a fashion trend beforehand? No, I brought it. I was the first one to bring it to the States. So it doesn't matter. You had to let it happen to people. Like, wait, that's PFT's shirt. No, no.

Okay. All right. It's my French shirt. It's French. It's Levi's classic French brand. You had something. I would agree with you. You were on to something.

It sounds like big cats a little jealous. No, you were on to something. I'm the head of the fashion curve. That's okay. No, I wanted you to like literally have it. I wanted everyone to start connecting the dots on their own and be like, wow, why is everyone wearing the shirt? I'm the hype beast of this duo.

Okay. Yeah. I mean, I just think that the fashion trend is something, if you don't say it, then you're even cooler than saying it. Disagree. Okay. Liam, you want to chime in? As a fashion publisher.

Yeah. Liam, what do you think, Bubba? It's a dope shirt. Thank you. Settle. All right. Go ahead, Hank. My hot seat, I got a couple.

The first one is Planet Fitness. So as you guys know, their tagline is that they are a judgment-free zone. They recently arrested a guy who walked in, stripped down naked, and started doing yoga. And his excuse was that he thought it was a judgment-free zone, but he still got arrested. So their credibility is on the hot seat. You see guys doing squats barefoot all the time. That's like the new thing, is like barefoot running, barefoot squats. He's just taking it to the next level.

Like Greeks, they would exercise nude all the time, and they were really in shape. You do that to yourself, Planet Fitness. That's on you. Yep. My other hot seat is Big Cat's relationship with Coach Harbaugh, because at Big Ten Media Day, when asked about gambling, he said, gambling? Don't gamble. Don't associate with gamblers.

Avoid it like the plague. Don't walk away from that. Run. So I watched that live, and yeah, it felt like he was staring through my soul. So does he know about you? I don't know. I might, like if Coach Harbaugh hit me up and was like, hey, you got to stop gambling otherwise, I'm never talking to you again, it would be, it'd probably take me 10 seconds

to be like, all right, sorry, we'll never talk again. But it would be that 10 seconds, you know? Yeah. What if he said, I bet you you'll never gamble again? And I'd be in a little bit of a pickle wouldn't I be? Yeah, you would. Yeah. That quote hurt a lot.

He was talking directly, and it was sad because I don't think that he knows the extent of your gambling. No. But it was, he was just like so direct, there's no way that he can walk that back. Yeah. Maybe he was just talking about college kids. He just basically said we can't be friends. He was talking about college.

Don't associate with gamblers. That's a tough line for him and you. Yeah, I'd agree. I'd agree. I'd agree. There's not a lot I can say here. And then my cool throne is Mars and the Moon. So it's about to be a big month for both.

Mars is going to look brighter in the night sky over the next six weeks than it has appeared in 15 years. Wow. So people will be able to see Mars. And then on Friday, Elon Musk is getting a big boner. He's like, I can almost reach out and touch it. On Friday, it's going to be a full blood moon, and it's going to be the longest one in this century.

That sounds good. That's awesome. It's a full moon that turns blood red. We should probably talk about it in guys on checks, if you know what I'm saying. That's when every woman on Earth sinks up their cycle. We're in trouble, guys. All right. My hot seat is the Rams because they just signed Todd Gurley to a, I think it was a

four year, 45 million guaranteed, 60 million. They also re-signed, they also gave Brandon Cooks a huge contract. Somehow they have not given their best player and one of the top five players in the league. Jared Goff. Aaron Tunneld, a new contract. So I feel like this is not heading, like you got to take care of that guy, right? Yeah. And I've been seeing a lot of takes recently that Todd Gurley isn't that great of running

back. Am I wrong to think that he is very good? I think he's very good. He was bad to start because he was, you know, injury. Don't talk about coach, especially. Well, yeah. Okay. You know, they moved the team.

That was part of the problem. Yep. The time zones really fucked him up. He had a hard time adjusting to West Coast. No, but he's, yeah, he is a good running back. He's a very good running back. But I agree, Aaron Donnell is a guy that changes the game. Yes.

So I feel like you want to lock that guy up. My other hot seat was Usada for busting Ryan Lochte for not doing steroids, but taking a picture of him with an IV and that, I guess, is against the law because you can't, for the Usada law, you can't have an IV unless you're like hospitalized. That's, there's got to be a Ryan Lochte rule. It's like the Larry Bird rule. Like you have to have a rule where Ryan Lochte is, of course he's going to get drunk in Vegas, do an IV, take an Instagram for, you know, for the gram.

Let's look the other way on that. I agree. Yeah. You shouldn't be allowed to plead ignorance, but you should be allowed to plead Lochte. Yes, exactly. Exactly. All right. My cool throne is Kevin Love.

So I feel like Kevin Love, so he re-signed with the Cavs, or I think it was a contract extension for like $145 million. I feel like Kevin Love has finally like reached happiness. He's done, he's actually going to, when you look back, he's going to have a career. It's like, he was the man in Minnesota, made some money, got to shoot the ball lock, got to handle the ball. Then he had to be LeBron's B word for a really long time. Top man.

Yep. To LeBron's Robin. And then now he gets to just be on the Cavs and like hang out and not make the playoffs and shoot the ball lock. I even actually count the perfect career. I think the Cavs are going to make the playoffs. Ooh. I'm putting, that's my hot take.

I think they're going to be like a seven or an eight seed. Ooh, okay. And Brown's in the playoffs in the same year. Yeah. Cleveland on the come up. Yeah. I could see it. Yeah.

I mean, Kevin Love is, he's going to get back to 20 and 10. Yeah. What if JR just needs more shots? Yeah. Are the Cavs a better team without LeBron James? Oh man. Finally, Lou will be able to coach the way he wants to coach. Yeah.

How awesome would it be? Because the East and the West, the disparity between the two leagues, like if the, if the Lakers get like the six seed in the West and the, and the Cavs somehow get like the fifth. Yeah. In the East. The Brown's expectations would be very mad. Do we think that Kevin Love is going to like become the de facto GM like LeBron was?

I no, I think he's going to chill. Like this is I'm actually kind of like Kevin. I think there were some people like, well, why would Kevin Love why don't want to go play for contender? I don't know, man. You want to ring. Just hang out and Cleveland. There's really no pressure after LeBron left.

Make a lot of money, hang out, you know, put up stats, live a good life. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. So get it. Yeah, I love it. There you go. Love is on the cool throne. Yes, finally.

All right, let's do our Mount Rushmore. So we have, in honor of T.O. going to the Hall of Fame, and Dwight Howard signing with the Washington Wizards, which, great for chemistry, that team needed some chemistry. He's a glue guy. Yeah, Bradley Beale, and actually. He just eats glue. No, I'm thinking about it.

It's kind of a genius move. Like Bradley Beale and John Wall don't get along. What's the, like, find a common enemy in the locker room, and they'll get along. So Dwight Howard shows up. Yeah, no, that's actually a perfect analogy. It's like, if you want a country to unite, you just go to war against somebody.

Right, exactly. That's, oh, that's, it's a little close-home. All right, so we can still use those two guys. They're eligible, but we're going to do Mount Rushmore of locker room cancers. So, should I go? Hank, why don't you go first? You start, Big Cat.

Okay, tell you what, we'll go Big Cat, Hank, me. Okay, so I'm going to just go with it, because Dwight Howard is my number one in, like, the world to me. He is everywhere he goes. He is terrible. You have the Stan Van Gundy interview, which is the most awkward interview of all time,

when Stan Van Gundy confirmed that Dwight Howard asked for him to get fired, and then Dwight Howard walked into the interview, put his arm around Stan Van Gundy, and was like, what's up, guys? And then the reporter said, so what are the reports? He said, those reports aren't true, and the reporter was like, Stan Van Gundy

literally just confirmed it, and his face dropped. He's been on the magic, the Lakers, the Rockets. You're not saying it right. He learned magic, he spent years learning, went to La La Land, what do you say about Houston? Flew with the Rockets. Worked with some Rockets. Flew like a hawk.

Flew like the hawks. Got stung by Hornets. And now he's learning magic again with the Wizards. But he didn't say the magic thing again. He just said now he gets to learn how to be a wizard. Yeah, so he's been with all those teams, he's ruined all of those teams. He is like, I honestly think if you put him on your team,

you're just basically, okay, well let's put in Dwight here, and either you're trying to get two guys to get along like John Waller, Bradley Beale, or you're just trying to destroy your team from within. That's Dwight Howard. Hank, go ahead. Wait, is Gortat still on the team? No, he got traded.

Oh, that would be a nice reunion there, those two. This PFT didn't go right. No, no, you're up. My number one, I guess, will be Delante West. God damn, yeah, that was gonna be mine. Allegedly. Good one. Allegedly.

Why'd you put him on the list? Allegedly, because he allegedly banged LeBron's mom when he was on LeBron's team. Can't do that. Can't do it now. Cannot do that. It's against guy code. Yeah, don't do that.

Okay, PFT, you go. Okay, my first one, I'm surprised it lasted this long, actually, he's generally regarded as the number one locker room cancer of all time, Terrell Owens. Oh, yep. Terrell Owens, excuse me. That's good. And don't call him Terrell.

No, and I love this, I don't think we even talked about how he's not going to Canton, but the fact that he is, he's blaming the media for not voting him in right away and saying that they give him an unfair rap and the way he's punishing it is making something all about himself and detracting from all the other guys who are getting inducted to Kent. So he's literally a bad teammate on the team of guys

that are getting inducted to the All Fin this year. And this is classic TO, like he is, I think out of all the names we're gonna list here, he's probably the most talented person. Yeah. So like he was unstoppable in his prime. Yeah. And it's a locker room cancer

that you couldn't even have him on your team. Yeah, and he, you had the, to go through the TO just off the top of my head, you had the time he was doing the crunches in his driveway. He called Jeff Garcia again. Jay, he blamed Don Mcnab's conditioning. Got into a fight with Hugh Douglas, a fist fight in the locker room.

He did something with the Cowboys. He just didn't practice for a while. He made Edward or show up at his house every day, like reporting what's gonna happen. Then he was on a stationary bike on the sidelines faking an injury for like two off seasons in a row. Yep, so all timer.

Yep. And then people forget he was on the Bengals. Yeah. Yeah. With Chad Ocho Sinker. Yeah, who might make an appearance later. Who could be an honorable mention. So my number two is going to be Alex Guerrero.

That's a good one, I had it on my list. Yeah, TB12 method. Yep, for sure is, for sure is. He destroyed that Patriots locker room. Yep. Never gonna win another Patriots again. That's a good one. He's not even allowed in the locker room.

Oh, that's how bad it got, huh? Well, no, it just doesn't even make sense because he's not in the locker room. So how could be a locker room cancer? My number two, I will go with Shulis Joe Jackson. Oh, you're blaming him. Yeah, I mean, he got banned. Yeah, he got banned from the league forever

and got eight other players banned as well. Interesting, the Black Sox. Yeah. Without him, Kevin Costner never stars in Field of Dreams. Also true. So you really want to stick with that one? Yeah. It's locker room cancer, but box office dynamite.

Okay. All right, I will go. So I got two here. I'm gonna go with John Harks, the famous 1998 World Cup. Allegedly. He fucked, Eric will, no, Eric Ronaldo admitted that. Oh, really?

Yeah, he, like a couple of years ago, he fucked his wife right before the World Cup and then got cut from the team. That's an all time, like, what are you doing, dude? Yeah. So, yeah, Eric Ronaldo, he confirmed that, yeah, he got cocked by his teammate right before the World Cup.

And then my next one is going to be, hmm. I'm gonna say John Rocker, the original Kenny Powers. He basically, he made everyone in New York hate him and also all his teammates hate him all at once. But then he got a standing ovation and went to Milwaukee. Yes, true. That's true.

All right, Hank, go ahead. My number three, I will go with Latrell Sprewill. Good one. Choked his coach. Probably not good for a locker room morale. Yeah, who knows? Maybe his coach, you gotta ask yourself the question, what did his coach do in that situation to provoke?

Were there elements of provocation? P.G. Carlos Moe had that nice, bushy beard. Probably just looked like a nice, fluffy sweater to warm your hands in. Yep. All right, you got your last two PFT. Okay, I'm gonna go with Gilbert Arenas. Mm-hmm.

And on my list. People forget he pulled a gun on his teammate. That's pretty bad. True. I would think. And then for my last one. Okay, so I was gonna go with Barry Bonds, but you know what?

I'm not, because I think it was all Jeff Kent's fault. Yeah. I'm gonna go with Jeff Kent as my last one. Jeff Kent. It's also all time asshole. It wasn't Gilbert Arenas' fault. He wasn't the one that owed the money. True.

He was just trying to, yeah. He was cringed in, right? Yeah. And cringed in went to jail. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so. Okay. But he was the one that pulled the gun.

Yeah, but again, cringed in, gotta pay your debts, right? All right, so Jeff Kent, though, good one, all-time asshole. Like one of those guys that ask any 10 people, and they'll all be like, yeah, that's a dickhead. All right, Hank, your last one. My last one, I will go with MRSA. Mm-hmm.

Took three of the Bucks players out, and they had to, how long were they out of the block room for? Like three games or something? Yeah. They were, that was a bad scene there, so. Literally tore the locker room apart. Yeah. And it was also, it was in Cleveland for a while too,

right? Yeah, it was. I feel like it's just always in Cleveland. I feel like Kellen Winslow just brought it around the league. That would be, if I were Kellen Winslow's lawyer, you don't really have too many options, you might as well just blame it on MRSA. Yes.

All right, my last one is going to be, how about Milton Bradley? Yep, yep. One of the biggest dickheads that's ever walked the earth. He had the, I mean, I know he was a dick everywhere he went. I think he played for 18. He had so many chances where he was like a super dickhead, they're like, wow, he got another chance,

and then he just one-upped himself. The Cubs gave him a chance, and he bumped the umped, fought a Gatorade thing, or fought, you know, something in the locker room, then he got kicked off the team, with like still teams left on the schedule. Lupinello was just like, go home. Well, he's a guy that if he wasn't named Milton Bradley,

after like the kids' board games, he wouldn't have gotten more than four shots, but he had a memorable name, and it's just like a very innocent sounding man. How many teams did he play for? I think he played for eight, which is like, that's almost impossible for a guy who has actually a ton of talent to play for eight teams.

And yeah, it is funny when you Google them, and it just puts Milton Bradley in the game. He played for one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, eight teams, woof. Good job, Milton Bradley. All right, what did we miss? I think we missed a few. Yeah, my honorable mention, Judas.

Real bad locker room guy. Sold his teammate out for a couple pieces silver. Yup. There's two pitchers, I think, following this category, Julian Tavares and Carlos Zambrano, we're both just psychopaths. So here's where I'm gonna say for Carlos Zambrano, in defense of Big Z, yes, he was a very passionate pitcher,

but you could also make the case, Michael Barrett, also kind of a locker room, you know, cancer. And Michael Barrett and Carlos Zambrano, when they got in a fist fight in the dugout, the Cubs then traded Michael Barrett. So probably they, you know, it's like, it was almost, it was almost literally, it was like a, who could be the bigger locker room,

you know, clubhouse, yeah, and talent and all that, but that doesn't fit my narrative, and narratives are on the cool throne. Hot seat. All right, that doesn't fit my narrative. What about Odell Beckham? Odell Beckham, I also have another one from- All the boats.

That Giants team from last year. B-Marsh, B-Marshall. Yeah. I mean, I've said it a long time, he's, you know, he's been a guy with that much talent on that many teams, never been to the playoffs, tried to fight Robbie Gold in Chicago, tried to fight like a ton of people, I feel like.

In Miami, remember when he did the thing where he just wore pajamas at a practice and just like didn't catch the balls? He would just bat him down. One of my all-time favorite clips was that, that's when he was in, when he was in Denver, there was a practice where he was walking around just taking balls and just punning him off the field.

Yes, he was in the pajama bottom. Yeah, he's definitely up there. Bobby Bonilla was so bad that he was such a locker room cancer that they got rid of him, and they're still paying him now, which I feel like probably gets the current locker room upset. Yup.

So it's just like that. What about Nick Faldo? Nick Faldo. If we're gonna go with golf. What about Dustin Johnson? He's a real asshole, real asshole, but now Nick did a great job rebranding himself. True.

He called Nick the prick. Yeah. And now he's like, oh, you're a lovable guy with a quirky accent. We like you now. Yeah, that's true. And there is a locker room, and the club has a tiger maybe. Fuzzy Zeller.

John McEnroe. Ooh, John, ooh, is there a locker room in there? What's the difference between golf and tennis? Golf, they actually like all go into locker rooms together. And like are actually like kind of supposed to be nice to each other. Tennis, I feel like, tennis kids are all weirdos, like private school kids that are just.

Not golf though. Not golf, no. Golf, you know, you don't have to go to private school. Tennis, you have to. Yes. What about Bill Romanowski? And did his teammates career? Yeah.

By punching him in the eye. Yeah, but. That's pretty high up there. You gotta have an enforcer on your team. He also was like a pretty noted racist. So he would yell a lot of things at his teammate, or the opposing team, I don't know. But that was just a side effect from all the steroids

that he was doing. Yeah, so you can't. So steroids is actually the locker room cancer here. I had one that I wanted to throw out there for embrace debate. Donald Sterling. Mm, locker room cancer? Or actually, like, he brought them together.

Well, in that last season a little bit. Right. But I would say for the previous, what, 30 seasons, he was the reason why the clippers suck. Yes. So I would give you that one. And creepy. Very, very, very, very creepy.

The all time quote in that deposition. What was it? Which one? Where he was like, yeah, you know, I really like it when she puts her mouth on me and she sucks on me and it makes me feel good. And it feels great. And they're like, sir, we were asking you

like about the color of your suit that day. It had nothing to do with, he just started talking about getting a blow job. Yeah, it was like the Michael Scott deposition. Yes. It was perfect. And I also had Todd Haley. He's definitely a locker room kid.

Todd Haley. He runs everything. I was going to say Fred X, but I don't think he was good enough to really, he was just like an asshole for a season. Yeah, and everyone's like, whatever, it's Fred X, who cares? Yeah. All right, we'll embrace debates.

He was like a locker room common cold. Yeah, right. You had like a little sniffles. Yeah, he sneezed them right out. Yeah, you take a little bit of emergency and you can get Fred X right out of your system. All right, so tweet us what we missed. I'm sure we missed some.

Locker room, cancers, Mount Rushmore. Let's do our interview with Phil Hughes. Before we get to that, the cash app, it is the number one app rated by us. It is the best finance app in the world. You can pay people back. You can buy and sell Bitcoin. You get boost discounts.

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All right, here he is. Starting pitcher, reliever, Phil Hughes. We now welcome on a long time coming. It is Phil Hughes. He is a pitcher for the San Diego Padres. How many Padres can you name? Let's play that game. I think I can do about all of them now.

If it had been my first week, it would have been rough, dude. Is a McCann still on the roster? Who? Is there a McCann on the roster? A 40-man roster, because then we're in trouble. But 25, I think I'm good. Is Hosmer? Yep.

Yeah, Hosmer was the big signing. So I got Wilmeyers. Wilmeyers. I was going to say Wilmeyers. So that's one for me, too. No. Shoot. Phil Hughes.

Who's the other? Give us another mark. Some names you've heard of? Yeah, marquee name. Tyson Ross. Oh, yeah. Clayton Richard. Well, these things now.

I won't say that, because you're here. I'll say it after when you hear. Clayton Richard, I know. Oh, yeah. Big time. Well, it's my, you know. Kirby Yates in the bullpen. He's our closer now that we traded Brad Hand.

I've heard of that. Oh, yeah, Brad Hand, I knew. Yeah. We got a DC guy, Craig Stamman. OK. Reliever. You might have known him. Any tweets that he needs to be worried about?

Let's go on around with DC guys. I don't think so. OK. He did want to ask. He wanted to ask the guys how the unlimited Mulligan guy can get us on Shinnecock. That was his question. Oh, you don't want to face that course.

That course is a monster. So you were in studio. I appreciate you coming. You're playing the Mets this week. It worked out. I've been following you forever. And you've been following me forever as well. So it's been a long time coming.

I have to ask the first question. Do you know what the first question is going to be? I don't think so. You sure? Think about what I'm obsessed with. And then think about your career. You started it. Oh, I got it.

I got it. I got it. The rod. The rod. No. No. I think I know what you're going to ask. I was going to ask you to get a sentence.

No, I was going to ask, did Derek Jeter ever have sex with you? No, I was actually going to ask. I've never received a gift bag, no. I was going to ask, did you earn your pinstripes? The all-important question for anyone who played for the New York Yankees. Don't you love that? I love it.

Oh, my gosh. Like, could you imagine like a guy going out there, like after he's lost his pinstripes and they just give him an all-white uniform? They should do that. They absolutely should. Gary Shansha should walk in tomorrow. And just basically a white sheet.

Actually, that's problematic. So seriously, though, I tell you, take that back. Did you earn your pinstripes? I don't think I did. No. I mean, I won a World Series. Yeah, so there you go. I feel like half the people would just like give me a pass

because of that. But I feel like the other half are just still tired of me. I think you did because you won the World Series the year that Jay-Z and Alicia Keys' song came out, but now you're in New York. So that made that World Series like a little bit more special. I can't even listen to that song anymore.

How many times did you guys listen to that after you won? Like a thousand. It was unbelievable. I don't want to hear that song ever again. OK, I'm going to start you out with an easy question for me. You're what, 6'4", 240? 6'5", and a little plus on the 240? Why don't you play a real sport like football or football?

Well, that was going to be my first question for Big Cat. Like, dude, you're about like a linebacker, bro. Yeah, I mean, except I got, I don't know if you notice. OK, I have jeans on today, but I have twig legs. Oh, OK. So it's a bad. Oh, yeah, that's a problem. I've been told that I'm a refrigerator on sticks.

I basically have a SpongeBob body. Well, if you're on defense, nobody really goes low. Yeah, true. I mean, you're the one bringing the pain. True. I just need like, my ass isn't big enough. My legs aren't big enough. I don't have the engine behind anything, so.

I would be like a big Ben type, though. Yeah, hard to bring down. Always hurt? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that too. Walking Boo, you know, just have it on the ready. Yes, absolutely. So you started your career in New York.

We're in New York now. Do you come back and do people like recognize you or anything like that? Or do you have, do you have good memories or bad memories of your time in New York? Really good. Yeah, I get recognized probably like a few times when we come back here.

And I don't know, it's, it's cool. Like, it's fun to be back in the city. Like, I would never want to live here again. Yeah, it's kind of, it's kind of tough. Yeah, it's great. Especially if you're like not doing well. It's like pretty tough sometimes. Would people get on you?

Like, would you go and get a coffee? So that's the thing, like, like normally, like even people on Twitter would be like, you suck and be like, what are you talking about, brother? Like, oh, I'm just kidding. Like, I love you, you know. But people here, like, no shame. Really?

Yeah, they get on you. So what was the worst experience you had? Well, I was like walking down the street, like just going to get a coffee or something in the morning. And some guy was like, yeah, you're Phil Hughes. I'm like, yeah, he's like, you need to pick it up, man. Really? What was worst, some of the fans that you'd

have to deal with in those types of situations, or the New York media? Media was easy. Like, I still follow like a lot of the beat riders from when I was here. Like, they were always fair. Like, they always put like the headline, you know, on the back page.

It's like, this guy blows, whatever. But like, the articles themselves were always fair. You know, I feel like the fans were the toughest part. But I mean, when you're winning, it's awesome. Right, in 2009, it probably was really easy. So you like, I was reading your Wikipedia doing a lot of research. And your career, I saw your one note.

You start out, you are like the top prospect in the Yankees organization. You're the fourth best prospect in all of Major League Baseball. Did the hype ever get to you a little bit? Were you ever reading like the, when the report comes out? Because it's kind of human nature, right? Yeah, I mean, sometimes. And it's kind of a burden.

Like, it was unfair at times, too. Really? You know, when you're hyped up that much, it was like, oh, this guy gave up a run in double A. Like, what's he doing? You know, it was pretty nerve wracking at times. But it was also cool, because I got a lot more opportunities because of it.

It's like, I probably wouldn't have stuck around in the big leagues as long if I had a shorter leash. You know what I mean? I didn't think about that. Yeah, if you had come up as an unheralded guy, you probably would have been cast off pretty quickly. So your second start ever, you're throwing a no-hitter. You tweak your hamstring.

And I read in your Wikipedia, and you can tell me if this is true or not, that that kind of screwed up your mechanics basically for the rest of your career in a weird way. So explain that to me like I'm three years old. So back then, I used to, when I would land, and you guys do this, it's not very, very common, but like Justin Verlander does it,

like his leg is completely straight and almost like bows in a little bit. And then he like comes right over his top leg. And that's what I used to do. And ever since then, I couldn't do it anymore. Interesting. So I would always land with like a bent front knee. And not that it's like a horrible thing,

but I was never able to do what I used to do. Right, like a little bit tighter? Yeah, so like just imagine like your front leg just being completely bowed out. And then like almost like inverting a little bit. And like your front half like comes over like that. And then after that, I just, I just land like this, like just with a bent leg.

See that stuff is crazy to me, like baseball pitching mechanics. I feel like it's so, I mean, it's obviously, people always say the, you know, being able to repeat your mechanics is the hardest part. Well, it's like the most violent motion in sports. It's the most unnatural. Like there's no, there's no instance in human history

where like a caveman had to go out there and like snap his arm 90 times a day. So like to that extent, like how sore are you the day after you throw 90 pitches? Probably like equivalent to when you guys like do stupid shit and like get sore outside, you know, like go, if you go and do something that you're like not used to. Right, right.

Play like a softball game. Yeah, same thing. Just that kind of soreness. Like you're not like hurt or injured, but you're just like not feeling great. So if you were to go out there and try to pitch on one day rest, what would the drop in velocity be on like a fastball?

Good question, I always wondered this. I would say like the adrenaline would like get you close, but I would say probably like two, three miles an hour, maybe. And I think it would like drop off faster than like the apex would be off, you know what I mean? Like you would just get exhausted like after an inning. Do you think that pitchers these days are coddled babies? When you look back at like the guys in like Bob Gibson

was throwing, you know, 150 pitches and stuff. Do you think that that like being extra careful with everyone's pitch count has now made it almost bad for the pitchers because they don't have the stamina that goes long? Yeah, well like baseball, like modern baseball is ruining starting pitching. Like you see guys starting relievers now.

Put that on a quote board. Yeah, that's awesome right there. That's a great quote. Millennials have killed stamina. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, it's true though. That was a kill starting pitching. Yeah, I mean the Royals in 2015,

they basically were like, all right, we have an unbelievable bullpen. We just got to get to the sixth inning. That's it, yeah. If our starter can get us through like five, which like you, all these like get off my lawn guys are like, all back in my day, you know, but that's the way baseball is going.

And if they expand rosters, it's over. There's not going to be starting pitching anymore. It's just going to be a bunch of relievers, your best guys throw them out there and score a bunch of runs and hit home runs. You've done both. You've started, you've been a setup guy. You've kind of done it all.

Is there any difference in terms of either your strategy or just how you approach a game as like, if you're going to, if you know you're starting that day, as opposed to, okay, I've got two innings in me today. Yeah, I mean, well, relieving is different just cause you always have to be ready, you know? Like there's no like, oh, I got four more days. Like I can go out tonight and you know,

it's like you're always on call. So you'd rather be a starter obviously for that reason. No, but do starters, I'm sure this is true. I've always thought this, do starters get like extreme Sunday scaries right before their start? Like the day before your start? Because I would, you know, as a procrastinator myself, the day, right after I finished my start

and I came off the mound, it'd be like, party time, excellent, like I'm never starting another game again. And then it would just slowly get to the point where the day before I'd be like, oh my God, I gotta go out and do this again. Yeah, I mean, I guess it's like, you wouldn't rather do either one, you know? It's like they each have their pros and cons,

but relieving is, relieving is interesting. Cause you have to stay relaxed, cause you just can't be a nervous wreck the entire time. But you also can't get too relaxed cause the phone can ring anytime, you know? Like last night we were all talking about like our worst diaries we've ever had in the bullpen. And then like the phone rings and you're like, all right,

let's go. And you gotta be serious. So what was your worst diarrhea? I've had a couple. Yeah. In game? I actually had one like a week ago. Really?

In game, yeah, I was backed up. So I took a two stool softeners and some milk and magnesium, thinking like, oh, hour or two, this will pass and I'll be good to go. Of course it hits me when the phone rings for me. Wait, so you took it while you were in the bullpen? No, like one o'clock. Before, yeah.

I was gonna say, that's playing with the fire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like one o'clock thinking like, oh, four o'clock would be good, seven o'clock game, no problem. Boom. Right then. So that was fun. So I had to race down, like do a squat

and then like show wipe right back up. Yeah, it was show wipe. Sometimes if you're really sick, the show wipe is all you need. Yeah. Could you wipe yourself with a rosin bag? Like if it happened to you in the middle of the game, is there anything against the rules about that?

Well, I mean, I think you're like, butt cheeks would never become unstuck. Yeah, that was really good. That would plug you right up, bro. Yeah, true. And crap anyway. You wouldn't have to clench, it would just be a natural clencher.

Yeah. Why don't you do more hidden ball tricks? Have you ever tried one? Maybe like in Little League I did. I always wish pitchers would just, or is that an unwritten rule that you're not allowed to do it? Unwritten rules are gone. Like bat flips are like being marketed.

It's true. There's no such thing as the unwritten rule. So I feel like the days of like Dallas Braden get off my mound, they're over. Run all over that mound. If it sells tickets and gets people in the seats. You'd be okay with that? Oh, absolutely.

Hey, Rod just lifted his leg on your mound and walked away. Well, there's nothing you can do about it anymore. Because there's no more unwritten rules. Yeah. How many guys have you thrown at? Because your manager, someone in your dugout told you you had to.

I think once. Okay. Can I still get fined if I admit it now? No, I don't think so. It's just, don't say the name. And then no one will know. Yeah, no one will know. But so how does that process go though?

Like, let's just say it this way. Maybe no one said anything, but it was like a wink, wink, hey Phil, you gotta back us up. Yeah, it wasn't even like that. Like it was, this guy was being an idiot and like our pitching coach came over and said like, hey, next thing you gotta hit this guy.

That's awesome. Yeah, and I didn't do it. I missed twice. I threw one right at him and he like, somehow got out of the way. And then the next one, I'm like, okay, I gotta go in a little bit more to get this guy. And it went behind him.

And he was passed, the manager got thrown out, he got thrown out and I stayed in the game. And with the batter, the batter got thrown out. The batter got thrown out, their manager got thrown out. And you stayed in the game. And I stayed in the game. That's even better than hitting him.

Yeah. So no, you can't be fined because the manager already ruled on that. You were good. Yeah. I mean, the ump already ruled on that. You're good. Was there ever a time when you did it on your own volition?

Like I got to do this because I got to abstract my teammates. Yeah, maybe once or twice, but I just like backed the guy off, like not really like trying to like hit him, you know? Right. Cause like throughout my career, I've mainly like not wanted guys on base. Mm-hmm.

That's interesting. Smart strategy. Yeah, like I give up enough runs on my own. Like I don't need to be like handing out free passes to like a chance to score. That sounds really selfish, but like, you know, yeah, that's fair. Yeah.

That's fair. Like I got a, I got a ERA. I need to deal with here, you know? What was the moment that you, because you obviously, you know, I was looking at your high school stats are insane. You are this top prospect. You get injured.

You have like these ups and downs. What was the moment where you kind of had this, the flip switch and you're like, all right, I can't get by on just like pure stuff anymore. I have to be a little bit smarter. I have to do things a little differently. Um, I don't know if there was ever like a light bulb moment. You're still trying to get by on just stuff.

I mean, I think it's been like a net, like a slow progression. Right. You know what I mean? When I first came to the big leagues, I was like scared to death all the time. Like didn't think my stuff was good enough. Thought I had to locate everything perfectly. And then going into the bullpen in 2009 was kind of like

the moment where I was like, damn, I can just like throw fastballs on the plate. Yeah. And guys have a hard time hitting it. And then that transferred over into the next year where I kind of took that same mentality, made the all star team. And then my stuff kind of declined. And then I had to kind of figure it out again.

And I think it was like, yeah, 2014, where I kind of had another light bulb moment, but it was kind of, you know, injuries suck. Right. Right. Can you tell when you're throwing 93 as opposed to throwing 91 without looking at the radar gun? Yeah. Usually. You can pretty much figure out like the difference

of one or two miles per hour. Yeah. Really? Sometimes, yeah. It's like that. You can, you know your body that well. That's pretty cool. Yeah. Like when you feel terrible,

you know it's like 90, 91. And then like when you're feeling like really, really like you got it. Like you kind of know it's like 92, 94. So there's definitely those days, because I always wondered that. And from a gambler's perspective, like I could bet on a pitcher

and then just he has one of those days, but you wake up sometimes as a starter and just be like, yep, this is not my day. Or, yep, I'm going to go seven innings and no one's touching my stuff. Sometimes you know in the bullpen, that's usually the factor. Like if I was ever like lights out in the bullpen,

I'd be like, oh, shit. It's going to be a good day. It's going to be a bad one. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh. If you're ever too, if I'm ever too locked into the pen, that was not going to be a good day. Really?

But if I was like a little erratic and all over the place, like usually it turns for whatever reason. But physically, like how you're feeling, like that can, you can tell that right away. Interesting. You were part of one of my favorite Major League Baseball games in history, which is the Midge game, right?

Yep, that was there. Yeah. What was that like? What was having all those weird bugs around you? Well, in the bullpen there in Cleveland, I don't know if it's still, no, it's a different setup now. So the visiting pen was like, like kind of an underground cave, like in right field.

And when we were down there, you couldn't tell, like anything was happening. Like you just saw like the trainer running out and like Jabba Kip like swatting his neck and like his face. And you knew there was bugs around because you saw him in the lights and stuff, but it wasn't, you weren't affected like in this pen because the bugs weren't like coming down there

for any like light or, you know, whatever. Yeah. So it was, yeah, that was an interesting one. Did you guys have like HDTVs set up in the bullpens where you could see all the bugs on his neck because that was the coolest part of the game? Yeah, no, we didn't have, we didn't have TVs down there. So we didn't really know it was happening until afterwards.

It also was like right at the beginning of HDTVs. Cause that actually, that game was the first game. My dad had just bought his first HDTV and we watched that game. Yeah, that's back when like the 27 inch was like five grand. Yeah. You're like, wow, this is incredible. Like look at these bugs. Probably, I think we even said like,

oh, we never would have seen these bugs with HD. It's like, no, actually there's just like a play going on in Cleveland right now. And this is, this is never going to happen again. And then our trainer comes out and decides it's a good idea to just spray bug spray all over him and like glue these things on to his neck. That was like the opposite of what he should have done, right?

Like whatever type of bug spray he used actually attracted more midges. Well, I think, I think after that, Joe Tory admitted that he should have asked for like a delay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.

So you and Joe, you and Joe, but we're coming up at like the same time. Was there any rivalry between you guys or were you like kind of linked together and you were in this together? Yeah, no real like rivalry. Cause we were always doing different stuff at the same. You know, like he was a star,

I was a reliever and vice versa. You know, but that was like New York man. Like, you know, if somebody comes up and does well, it's like immediate hype fest. Right. And as a player, you're just going in every day like trying to do your job, you know? And everything else was just kind of noise,

but, you know, there was, there were some fun times, like good years mixed in there. And, you know, obviously, you know, that works out differently for different people. Were you mad that there were no Hughes rules? Like they, they would limit your pitch count to exactly 62 pitches per night. Like T-shirts?

Or there was definitely rules for everybody. Yeah. It was just. Yeah. How come his rules got branded? Like his was like Hammurabi's code. It was the first one actually written down. Yeah.

You didn't get your rules put out there. I know. I should do it now. You know? I think it's like everybody's rules. Well, they were different then because like starting pitchers were still a thing. Yeah.

And so it was like a hundred pitches. Whereas like now it's like 75. Yeah. The guy starts laboring after 60. It's like, oh. All right. Let's talk about A-Rod. Let's.

Yes. How, what was A-Rod like as a teammate? I heard a rumor that he used to buy three suits for every guy who got called up. Is that true? I don't know if it was like three for everybody. But yeah, he would always take care of the young guys. So did he buy you a suit?

He did. Oh, see? Confirmed. Pintstripes on him or no? It's important. I think it was like, yeah, like faint stripes maybe. Yeah, cause you haven't really gotten them yet. But this is like 2007.

So like suits were awful then. Yes. Like baggy was still kind of a thing. Yeah. You know, there weren't like good suits. But he would take like new guys, every new guy to go get a suit, right? Yeah.

Yeah, he was awesome. He was awesome like that. Take care of the young guys. And he was a good teammate. Was he? Yeah. I mean, he didn't like, he was bad with the media. So like that's why he has this, you know,

perception about him. But like if you, if you played with him, he was great. Who was the best teammate on those teams? On like the O nine team? The O nine team. Cece. Really? Yeah.

Cece's awesome. Yeah. Cause he drinks with everyone. Yeah. I don't know if you can sit anymore. No, he can't sit anymore. It's problematic. Is he clean now?

I think so. Okay. All right. We're never gonna see Cece standing next to somebody. Just how big that dude is. Yeah. Like he, people don't realize it. I think he's like almost three bills

or he was almost 300 pounds at some point. Yeah. Yeah. No, he's a, he's a, he's a large human. Who? Great guy though. How many words in your life has Derek Jeter said to you? Quite a few.

I don't know if I could count. He had this thing. You remember the Allen Iverson interview? Yes. Where he was talking about practice. Yes. And there was a reporter and his name was Phillip. And he was like talking like real condescending to him.

Like, what's up Phillip? Yeah. That was Jeter's thing with me. So like he would always see me and like refer to me as Phillip from like the Allen Iverson interview. And, and so that was basically it. Those were the words. Yeah.

So let's see. What's up Phillip? Three times. Three words like twice a day for seven years. Like when he talked to people, I mean, I feel like he, Derek Jeter as a teammate is probably the biggest mystery in sports sometimes. Cause if he, you know, he's the captain.

Everyone says he's, you know, the captain. He wins all these world series, but would he talk to guys? Would he be a clubhouse guy or was he just all business? No, he would, he would. He had this thing. He liked to like do like small little wagers every now and then, but he was like such a competitor that if he lost, he would pay you in pennies.

That's amazing. What would you guys bet on? So it'd be like a hundred bucks on, you know, something stupid. Like I don't even, a college football game that's going on or something. Right. And, and if he lost, like he would literally like,

have a bag of pennies. That's amazing. The next day. And it wasn't like a dollar. It was like a hundred bucks. Yeah. That's a lot of pennies. Yeah. That's a lot of pennies.

Yeah. Like he would like probably had to send someone to like a bank and like a special request and pay you in pennies. I would love if Derek Jeter actually himself went personally to the bank and just requested a hundred dollars worth of pennies. Yes. Who was like the glue guy in that locker room? Who was the guy behind the scenes that kept everybody loose? I'd say CC again.

Yeah. As a starter, like you have a lot of time to like worry about other stuff like that. Yeah. You know, it's like your job the other four days or just like be a good teammate, make sure the guys are good. You know, cause you don't have anything to do for four days. Right.

You know, so he was, he was good. And he's still that way. Like he's awesome. I still talk to him and Brett Gardner. Those are like the only two that I think they're remaining. You don't talk to A-Rod? Well, I'm just talking about the play for the Yankees. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Do you still talk to A-Rod? I do. You do? Yeah. How long does it take for him to text you back? He usually texts me first. Oh, okay.

Interesting. He's thirsty. Yeah. All right. What made Joe Torrey such a good manager? He was out of the way. Like he just let his, he let his guys go out there. And that's what's amazing.

It's like, you know, everybody wants to talk about how great these like Yankee managers were. Like look at the teams. Yeah. Like in 2009, that was an all-star team. Right. If you look at that infield, I mean it was what? Posada catching A-Rod, Jeter, Cano to Shara.

Not a lot of managing going on there. No, like just go get them guys. Right. You know, fill out the lineup card, throw them out there. We had a good chance. Would he ever call you into his office? Do like a sit down? So the coolest thing he ever did was like,

I think it was, I think I'd only been up for like couple months tops. And we had a weekend series in New York and we were going to Anaheim with an off day. And he called me in on like Saturday, like my bullpen day. It was like, hey, you're from California, right? I'm like, yeah. He's like, why don't you get your bullpen in today

and just take off, go home and spend a couple days. And like, I had like a cup of coffee at the time. Right, right. It was awesome. That is awesome. So I went home, like I flew out like Saturday night, spent Sunday and Monday, which was off at home. Like while the team was like still in New York,

like playing on Sunday. Right. It was crazy. Like he was just, he was good like that. Like. Did it ever occur to you like, oh shit, I might be in trouble. Like he's sending me home already? Yeah.

Or like, oh, they just don't have a seat for me on the plane. Is that how they like tell me I'm released? Why don't you just spend a few days at home and never come back? Why don't you go to farm upstate for a while? And then go to Sunday. We got a dress in the back of that room right there. No, it's in the way back.

Go ahead. New York Daily News back page is like Phil Hughes skips game. Yeah. Too hungover. Yeah, that would be the thing, yeah, for sure. Were you an intimidating California teenager? You know I have a phobia. I mean, your ERA in, I think your ERA was 0.69,

wasn't it? In senior year. You'd be correct. Yeah, that's pretty nice. Actually, I think it was my junior year. Okay, so were you an intimidating California teenager? Intimidating in what way? Like as a pitcher?

Like were you a punk? Yeah, no. Did you just skateboard, did you surf? No. You hang out at like a pier somewhere? Just in your like 12. Roasting people for wearing bad shoes. Existed.

Yeah. Stussy? No, I was pretty like, even my wife says this. She's like, you don't like strike me as like a California guy. Okay. So I kind of like, I played baseball. Like I did all right in school.

I wore like hurly t-shirts. Yeah, you did. That's pretty intimidating. You know, like jeans, but it wasn't like over the top. Like I wasn't like a total like Cali guy. Like I didn't like bleach my hair. Okay.

No problem. You have a pukashell necklace? Oh, fuck. Yeah, you did. I think I probably did it. Yeah, at some point. How many Blink-182 shows did you go to? Zero.

What about Sublime? Sublime, they were probably... No, Bad Fish, the cover band. They're actually really good. I've seen them twice. Zero. Okay. Never went to any show.

So Cal band growing up that you would be obsessed with and go listen to them, get mad at when they got on the radio and everybody else. I really liked Everclear. Oh, yeah, you did. Yeah. And this is the Cali teen is slowly coming out here. But I feel like I was in the middle.

Like I didn't like take it too far. I can just see it right now. Throwing like 90 miles an hour in high school wearing a hurly shirt and listening to Everclear with your pukas necklace. That's fucking intimidating. Yeah. Did you have a surfboard?

I had two, 10 subs in the back of my truck though. Did you have a surfboard in the back of your truck? No, I never surfed. Never surfed. Interesting. Was your town on the ocean? No, not really. OK.

It was like a commitment to go to the beach. OK. Sorry. I was never a big beach guy. You always go and it's like the surfer kids had to wake up like four in the morning to catch some waves. I wasn't down with that. You were too lazy to be a surfer.

Correct. OK, that's pretty lazy. Nice. Yeah. You dropped out of surfing college. So now you're back in Southern California. Do you like pitching in Petco Park? I would love pitching there.

Basically, there are no fences. Yeah. Well, they moved them in. They moved the fences in. Yeah, so it plays fair now. We're having this conversation in the day. Have you ever heard of a stadium moving their fences back? No, but the Yankees should.

They're always moving them in. It's like, dude, these guys, they're bigger and stronger than they've ever been and now we're moving fences in. Like, what's going on? But the seams are raised on the baseball. Are they? That's, we've done some research. The spin is, have you noticed anything?

I have. Do you like watching Pitching Gifts on Twitter? Like what kind? Like when you see a really nasty breaking ball or slider. No, because it depresses me that I can't do it. You can't do that? Well, there are more of them this year. And we have a theory.

Hank has a theory that's because they raise the seams to make the game more gif-able. Dan Herron confirmed. Yeah, Dan Herron confirmed it. Did he? Yep. What did he say about it? He said he thinks that there's something to say.

He said there was like 0.8 of an inch. Yeah, he didn't confirm it. He said he read a story where someone had done the research and figured it out. Well, how about last year when like balls were like sinking in water? Oh, yeah. That was weird.

Like higher density. I don't know. What about the bats? What? You ever think about them? No, yeah. You ever just or something in the bats? Well, think about like in the 90s when all these guys

were getting pop or corking bats. And now you don't read anything about it. That was Sammy was using his, he accidentally used his BP bat. People don't understand that. He wasn't talking about it. I think everybody understands it. They just don't believe that.

And that he puts on a show for the people and everyone's like, ooh, ah, and then accidentally he grabbed that. Accidentally grabbed that one. Yes. OK. Didn't Albert Bell have a bat with like bouncy balls inside of it? Probably.

Probably. Well, did you ever do that with like your metal bats when you were a kid? Like if the cap ever popped off, you could put like tennis balls in it and the ball would just explode. You just put even a wiffle ball bat. You just put wet toilet papers in it. It gets heavier and it just pops off of it.

Yeah. Yeah. How'd you do at the Homer and Derby? I won it. Did you? Well, no big deal. Astrix. Astrix.

Not really. Not really. What was, what's the Astrix? He didn't hit a homerun in the first round. Well, we edited that out. Seven out of eight people saw 10 pitches in the first round and didn't hit a homerun. One guy hit a homerun.

We have like, you can't just end the Homer and Derby. Right. I actually hit a homerun. You did not hit your homerun in your first 10 pitches. Well, that's so how did you decide who got through? So we just did it. We just did it again. We, everyone got 10 more pitches.

OK. And then I, and then I basically got hot. So it wasn't like whoever hit the longest not homerun. No, no, we just basically all seven went back in. There's still like two more pitches. They were very tricky with the editing. Seven people went back in, got 10 more pitches. And then from that point on, I dominated.

Here's a good question. Why? It's not a big deal. Like, I'm not trying to brag. You asked. I answered. Why do you guys spit so much? Probably nervous habit, I think.

Yeah. I think like, you know, when you hear you're like fiddling a pen or like tapping a desk, I think that's like, that's our version of it. Like, we just have to do something, you know. I'm going to start spitting just more around the office. Just on the floor? Yeah.

I like that. I don't know. It's an alpha move for sure. Are any of the guys upset that you can't use like chewing tobacco and stuff in the dugouts anymore? You can. Oh, you can if you're grandfathered in. Yeah.

Oh, it's like, I forget how many years you have to have. But you have to have like X number of years. Wait, so is there like five or six, something like that? Are there rookies who are like, hey, can I get a little of that? You're like, nope. Can't do it. That's awesome. Can't be a jaw dog.

That's awesome. Have you ever done a spitball? No. Sure. He went. Let the record show that he just went big time out of this. And he nodded as he said no. To be honest, I'm so naive.

And he's elbowing me right now. And he's actually took a baseball out. He's spitting on it right now to show us how he's done it. I don't even know what that does. Like you just can't control it because it's so wet. I just know when your team's losing and you can just accuse the other team of doing it so that you're like, that's bullshit.

Well, I know everybody's like, I'll cut up on the pine tarch, though. Yes. Yes. Yeah, the spitball. I don't even know if that does anything. All right. I got the Seeky question.

Put in promo code take. You can see Phil Hughes play with his teammates. We named all of them. The Padres are actually in town. They have a noon game. When you're listening to this right now, they have a noon game at City Field. Where are you guys going next?

Back home. OK, back to San Diego. Go to Peco Park. $10 off. You see geek promo code take. It's most games at noon. Yeah. Or today's?

Yeah, today's. Today's game is at noon. Yeah, pretty sure. Nice. Yeah. We might just be lying to you and you might show up like three hours early. It's supposed to rain like all day, though.

Yeah, you won't have a game. Don't worry about it. Just go out and get tonight. Yeah, you're fine. You're fine. All right, I got two questions about teammates on that 0-9 team. Erickinsky, back tattoo.

Yeah, big back piece. Huge. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, would you guys ever make fun of him? In 2009, he had just gotten it. And so I don't know if he was talking about filling it in. It was so massive, it took forever. So he'd just gotten the outlining.

And then he was like, dude, I don't know if I can take this anymore. So he hadn't gotten it filled in with color yet. So I don't know if he ever did. Google it if you haven't seen it. I'm looking it up right now. It's unbelievable. You like the tattoo from Red Dragon?

It's like a Japanese mural. Yeah, it's so aggressively large and out of control. So he basically got the outlines like, I don't think I can do this anymore. Yeah, does it have color? What the hell, yeah. It's got color now. So he finished it.

It looks like he's wearing a t-shirt. Yeah. Yeah, it's a wild one. It's a wild one. And then the other question. I thought you were talking about like a tramp stamp or like he had a dolphin on the small of his back. No, it's a huge tattoo.

The other question was, Mark Tashara, would he wear a jockstrap with a suit? He told us that he does. That he wears a jockstrap with a suit? No underwear. So it's just ass cheeks, butthole, on polyester. That I can't confirm, but it wouldn't surprise me. Who on that O9 team would wear a bathing suit in the shower

if you catch what I'm saying? You just know, maybe do the old trick where they always have the towel on and they just make sure they always have the towel on. Probably Swish. OK. All right, that's actually the one guy you can say where it's going.

Has he been on the show before? No, he'd actually be good, though. Yeah, he would be. He has a job. He's like working for the Yankees and something. Do you still talk to him? It's been a while. Yeah.

I mean, Nick Swisher is definitely one of those guys you can probably bust his balls forever because I'm sure he busted everyone else's balls constantly. Did you ever see Matt Sui's porn collection? Yeah. You did. I saw the box of it.

Did he keep it in the clubhouse? Yeah, sometimes. Yeah, he had it around. It was a huge box. It was massive. It was as big as his desk. Would people say anything? It was just a chest.

So he had to have somebody else help him bring his porn collection in. Yeah, he couldn't carry this thing on his own. $55,000. He had to hire moving companies, whatever. That's unbelievable. I love it. Have you ever loaned him out?

Was it a library? Probably if you asked, yeah. I don't know if he gave you a ticket, though, if he didn't bring it back. He did a library card for it, too. All right, last question. This is a real question. Phil Hughes' career.

Create your career. Because this is always interesting to me because professional athletes, you reach this insane level of competition. And then if you don't live up to the hype that was maybe given to you, people are like, well, he's a bust. But it's like, well, he also played Major League Baseball for a decade plus.

Yeah, I always look at it that way. Dude, if I wasn't a Major League Baseball player, I'd be a loser. Yeah. You know what I mean? We weren't going to say that. But it's like, I'd be doing nothing right now. Right, you don't even start.

I would have maybe gone to college, struggled, maybe got a decent job, whatever. But dude, I made a bunch of money, got a hot wife. I'm cool. Do you know how much money you made? Before taxes? Well, no. I looked it up on Sport Track or whatever the website is.

Like before taxes. Yeah, the earnings, the cash earnings you've had in your career. Including next year? I don't think it's including. I think it's what you've earned so far through this year. Yeah, I think it's like $70 million. $69 million.

Yeah, nice. Boing. Yeah. Boing, boing, boing. Can we have some money? Yeah, I only have like $100 on my wall. That's fine. I'll take $100.

That's fine. OK, no worries. Yeah, I'll get you guys. All right, thanks man. Yeah. That interview is brought to you guys by Blue Apron. Blue Apron delivers farm fresh ingredients and step-by-step recipes to your door.

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All right, let's get to some segments. First up, we have a PR-101 for L. Gary. Gary Sanchez, the catcher for the New York Yankees. He had a very, very bad night, and he's having a bad season. I think he's hitting like 180. And I think he let up a pass ball that he should have had. And then at the end of the game, it was bases loaded.

He hit a grounder to shortstop, dogged it out of the box, and the guys, the raise went to second, didn't get the guy at second, and still were able to get Gary Sanchez at first because he basically just didn't run down the line. And on top of all of that, Adam Shine has taken away his pinstripes.

So he has removed his pinstripes, said Gary Sanchez should have his pinstripes taken away. How about hustling? I didn't realize Gary Sanchez had him, but they're gone. They're gone if they were ever there before. Yeah, and on the pass ball, like it trickled down the third base line, and he walked over to it.

Yes. And as he walked over to it, a runner scored from second on the pass ball. So a lazy day. Yeah, pretty lazy day. I don't have so much of a problem with the catcher doing that because the catchers, they're supposed to be like little squaddie bodies, right?

Yeah. Yeah, but Gary is like supposed to be the, people talking hall of fame after his first year. Why don't they just, why doesn't Aaron Boone just use him as a pinch runner? That'll be his punishment. Yeah. We're gonna, everywhere you go, you're gonna be running.

Everywhere, like Forrest Gump. Yeah. Haven't just run across the country, Forrest Gump style for charity. That's the best part is Aaron Boone, he's not gonna do anything. Mike Greenberg's gonna take away Aaron Boone's pinstripes if Aaron Boone doesn't do something about it

because he said that Aaron Boone will have lost the locker room if Gary Sanchez plays in the next game. Well, Gary Sanchez should also just show up to the next home game with the road jersey and be like, here's my punishment. No pinstripes. No pinstripes myself. He's taking away himself.

Do you think Aaron Boone's braces, or no, Joe Girardi had the braces, right? Those are actual pinstripes on his teeth. Yes, yes. Joe Girardi would definitely send Gary Sanchez. Take him behind the wheel for a second. Designate for assignment? Yes.

No, not designate him for assignment. He would just be like, all right, go on the DL and get the fuck out of my face. Yeah, going on the DL for being lazy. That would be an ultimate injury. Pretty much. That's probably what's gonna happen. They're gonna cover for him and be like,

oh, well, he was hurt or something. He had the flu. Yeah, either way, pinstripes removed. He should just do a video where he just hands in his pinstripes and just goes in Aaron Boone's office like, here you go, boss, here are my pinstripes. I just want Yankee fans to note this.

So that when, if L. Gary ever has a nice comeback and gets a big hit, you gotta give him back to him. One at a time, though. Yeah, one stripe at a time. He's gotta hurt him one stripe at a time. All right, we had a Bachelor talk for guys that don't watch The Bachelor. What, where are we in The Bachelor right now?

I'm all in on Very Cavalry, so I don't even watch The Bachelor. Well, I never watch The Bachelor, but I really don't watch it now. It's Fantasy Suite Week. Ooh, yeah. It's a fucking fuck time. Yep, mm-hmm.

Blake got invited to the Fantasy Suite and then seems skeptical the next morning. What, about sex? Yeah, sex wasn't good. Wait, was Blake the Virgin? No, the Virgin got kicked off. No, go to your home, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he basically went to the Fantasy Suite

and then walked out and was like, what happened in there? Why was she, why was she, you know? Rubbing her stuff on the kitchen. Doing stuff on my dick. This is a big missed opportunity for the producers of The Bachelor. If you want to guarantee ratings,

you keep the Virgin around for Fantasy Suite Week. Or just film everything in the Fantasy Suite so we can watch porn. Garrett finally told Becca he loves her and that got him the invite to the Fantasy Suite. Nice. That's young, dumb and full of calm. Yeah, a little thirsty.

Say whatever you want to get in that Fantasy Suite. I want to know what he said to her right after. He left the Fantasy Suite. Are you again? Kind of cool, I guess. Whatever. What's your sister doing tonight? And then Jason got sent home

before getting invited to the Fantasy Suite, but he gave Becca a scrapbook before he left. Yeah. What a loser. That place. Scrapbooks and virgins. That's what girls want. A scrapbook for being on The Bachelor?

Oh, dude. When did he have time to make a scrapbook on The Bachelor? Yeah. When do they take? I thought they don't even let him have phones or anything. Why have they not been chronicling this guy creating a scrapbook over the last three weeks? Spinzel and the surprise, the scrapbook,

was actually just one page stuck together with the other page because he didn't get to go to the Fantasy Suite. Like, here you go. No Fantasy Suite? Here's my semen. I feel like that wouldn't be that crazy for him. That's it.

I don't even know the guy. I think there's like one or two more weeks. All right, good. Thank God. Fucking worst season ever, except for Bahamut. Have you guys watched Very Cavalier yet? No, I haven't watched it yet. It needs more Kristen and Jay.

Yeah, it does. Shannon is a bad bitch. I'm very nervous about her. She like scares me through the TV screen. So what's the? Is she the red-haired girl? Yeah. Have they addressed vaccinations or anything like that?

No. Tell me when they do that. I'm interested in that. Kids aren't in the show. They actually do a good job of keeping their kids private. I want to see what Kristen does about other people's kids, though, if she's encouraging other people's children to get vaccines.

Yeah, and there's also this guy worth. He's worthless. It's kind of ironic. Yeah. Do you hate him? He's fucking, he comes from money, and he's all ripped. And he played tight end for Auburn, and he thinks he's the man.

He's like, oh my god. Fuck out of here. Grew a man bun in a beard. Not thinking it's a man bun, because he had the beard. No, he has the beard. Yeah. Yeah, if you grow a man bun with a beard, that's a reason I don't grow one. That's a loser move, right.

Thank you. All right, we have Trouble in Paradise. PFC, what was this? Trouble in Paradise for Serena Williams. OK. So she Instagrammed or tweeted or did something online with this the other day, but she said, I told my husband I wanted Italian food, and this is where he took me.

And it's just a picture of her in Venice. So. The fuck? Yeah, so it's a big red flag for this guy. Wait, who's the Trouble in Paradise for? Those two. Oh, I think it's Trouble in Paradise for everyone else in the world. Well, you could make that argument, but I would make the argument that this is

such an over-the-top move by her husband that he's trying to cover something also. I see what you're saying now. I see what you're saying now. I kind of like that. Yeah, that's. Wonder who that baby really belongs to. Well, I guess it definitely belongs to Serena, because she. She had it, and then.

It was in her belly. Well, science can do a lot of weird things. Peed it out, yeah. All right, last up before we get to guys on chicks, a Tim Tebow update. PFT, we are at the end. Maybe. He's maybe out for the season with a broken hand. This is actually like.

I'm sad. Yeah, I know you are. Like you. We, before every show, you're like, Tim Tebow update. And I know, like, this is, we all have our things. Tim Tebow and Mike Greenberg are your things. And like, this is. It's a power couple right there.

Yeah, I mean, get up. Not doing great. Tim Tebow also not doing great. See, I don't think you can pass Judgement and get up if you've never seen it before. OK, I've seen pieces. But, but Tebow spin zone, it's his right hand. Oh, that's hurt. So he could go to training camp.

He can still throw a football. Maybe. I think even with a broken hand, if it was his left hand, he could throw a football. The same. Probably just as accurate. Exactly. Yeah.

So I don't know. Hopefully gets a little nibble. This I actually am a little bummed to because. Baseball is a better sport when Tim Tebow's in it. I'm not going to say that. But no, the only reason I'm bummed is the Mets are such a shit show that I think they would have called them up in September. And it would have been great to watch Tim Tebow strike out like a hundred times in a row.

If you think Tim Tebow would not have hit a home run in the Major Leagues, you do not know Tim Tebow, my bro. How many home runs do you have in here? All the guy does is miracles. That's all he does. He had to. Oh, he's been 273. That's the case will come back then.

He was an all star. All right. All right. Three days later, he'll come up. He's on the three day DL. It'll be 32 in September. 32 year old rookie. That's we see it all the time.

All right. So let's get to our guys on chicks. Guys on chicks in the office. Shout out to them. They released their podcast. It is out there on iTunes for any chicks that listen. They want to listen or guys that listen. They want to listen to me and Fran host it.

Download it right now. Subscribe. It's on the iTunes chart. You can find it. Chicks talking chicks. Yeah. Shout out to us being good co-workers. Why does my boyfriend have to poop every hour?

He doesn't even eat that much. He's because he loves you so much. When guys are in love, their whole bodies just get so excited. We just kind of, we have to get everything out of our bodies that doesn't remind us of you. Or you just get mad at him for checking his phone too much. Yes. And so he just goes in the bathroom.

Or he's cheating on you. Or he's like obsessed with either porn, gambling. He's got some kind of vice or one of those stupid games on your phone. Maybe he just drinks a lot of coffee. Yeah. He's definitely doing what Hank and I were talking about. Subboys, especially Big Cat.

My boyfriend and I live together and only have one bathroom. The other day I came downstairs and found him peeing in the sink, claiming he was inspired by Big Cat and that it saves water. Yep. Well, that might be true. It grossed me out. How do I get him to go back to the toilet

before he starts ruining plates and other dishes? I'm worried this will become a problem and definitely don't want him doing it if we have friends over. Hold on. So the kitchen sink. Hold on. Not the bathroom sink. Hold on.

Well, no, you wouldn't pee in the bathroom sink. I pee in the bathroom sink. I mean, I have. But if you're a first timer, you're probably doing it just because you can't get in the bathroom. So let's just back up here. Ruining the plates. Ruining them.

OK, that's a little drastic. It's called soap. It's called dishwasher. Pee is sterile. There's no problem with this. And you're overreacting. And guess what? He might dump you because you're not a cool chick.

I can't see a line then. Yeah. I think that's a very coffee top process. Cool chicks let their guys pee in the sink. I mean, you could use positive reinforcement on them. Every time you catch them peeing in the toilet, give them a treat. Yeah, give them a little snack.

A little dog biscuit. Yeah, like a couple French fries. I would never pee in a toilet or in a sink again if I got a couple French fries every time I did a good potty in the bathroom. Some boys, especially thick cat, my brother has recently started dating a girl that could essentially pass from my twin.

Should I be worried about this or flattered that he thinks I'm attractive? Flattered that your brother thinks you're attractive. Yeah, you should definitely be flattered that your brother thinks you're attractive. That's normal. I watch a lot of porn. And that's hot in the streets these days.

Ted Cruz, right? Yeah. Didn't he get into something like that? What was the? Yeah, I think it was incest porn that he liked. Doesn't that mean that he's dating a girl that also looks like him? Because your brother and sister?

They can look. Maybe he's just a narcissist. That's not that crazy. Yeah, good point. Yeah, so. OK. Yeah, solve that one. Hey, my name is Maria, big fan of the show.

Anyways, my boyfriend is. You're not a dude, Maria. My boyfriend of five years, yeah. That's a really weird way to start that, OK. This is actually the only one I believe was sent in by a woman, because it stands out so far. There's one more that she did a telltale sign. But my boyfriend of five years has four fantasy football

drafts next week. In the next two weeks, she put fantasy football on quotation marks. He had one last night and came home at 1 AM. Isn't football season not for like three months? Is he up to something? No. A lot of guys do pre-season fantasy football.

Oh, man. Either he's a fucking, here's what you do, OK? Here's how you follow this. You just got to, like, you're going to have to do a little, you're going to have to pay attention to football for the next month and a half, but it's pretty easy. Pay attention to football. If there's ever a big injury, bring it up

and see his reaction. Because only psychos draft fantasy football drafts before pre-season starts, so you will know right away if he lost a guy in an injury when you bring it up. Also, just any injury that happens, if he's actually in, like, five leagues, he has that person in one of the weeks, so he owns every player in the entire NFL.

But yeah, he's either, here's the, I don't know which one's better. He's either cheating on you or he's a fucking loser. So I guess I would, that's kind of redundant. Whatever, you get what I'm saying. Like, I'd almost rather, I'd almost rather he'd be cheating on you than be the dude that drafts all his fantasy drafts in July.

That's fair, right? Yeah. I think that's a way worse move. Hey, PMT, I'm switching birth control at the moment and I'm not getting the new one for another month. My boyfriend hates condoms because he says they're too tight and uncomfortable. Oh yeah, they're too tight.

Yeah, that's my problem with condoms too. They're just always too tight. Gotta let the thing breathe. No, none big enough for me. And he would rather go without sex for the next month than wear a condom. How do I get him to man up, slap a condom on that thing and take me to Poundtown?

Now, I would say this was a dude, but she put a bit moji of herself at the bottom. Oh. Okay, yeah, that's... Can I see the bit moji? Yeah, let's see what she looks like here. That's pretty cute. Hold on, hold on.

Oh yeah, she is cute. What is she reaching for there? She's looking up at some guys' toes. An IUD. There's lip marks on his feet. She's like kissing up to him. So what this guy is pretty much begging for is just more blowjobs.

That's his angle. That's what he's going for here because when push comes to shove and you guys are in bed together, he's going to put a condom on. Yeah. This is posturing right now. You're changing your batting stance,

which that takes some getting used to from time to time. I don't know if you're switching from pills to the Nuva ring or whatever. It's not get lost in the weeds here. Yeah, okay. But all I'm saying is this guy is not going to stop having sex. Empty thread.

Yeah, just put the condom on with your mouth. There you go. That's how you do it. Compromise, yeah. Hey guys, especially you, Hank. Hey, my boyfriend and I got into a big argument last weekend. My boyfriend and I got into a big argument last weekend

when he told my friend that she looks like Rachel McAdams at the bar. I was yelling at him and then he told me that he loved me for the first time ever and I cooled down and stopped fighting. Does he really love me or did he just say it to get out of the argument? No, I think he really likes you.

I think this is, that sounds to me like true love. That actually is like saying your friend looks like Rachel McAdams. I think I might be speaking out of turn here, but the female award-winning listeners can back me up on Twitter or not, but I think that's the meanest thing you can say to a girl because Rachel McAdams is like the number one wifey material.

Like she is, like you'd rather your friend, you'd rather your boyfriend say like your friend looks like a porn star or like some crazy model or something like that, but Rachel McAdams, like in wedding crashers, my own. Yeah, and I think every girl likes Rachel McAdams too. Right. So it gets under their skin.

I agree, yeah. Right, they're like they think it's like a best friend. Like that's my best friend as well. So yeah, that's actually the meanest girl. Like I said, tell us who would be like worse, but I think Rachel McAdams is number one. So no, I don't think he loves you. I think he just, this was actually a rookie move

on his part. This is the easiest way to get out of the fight. But was it, I would have to know a little bit more about the relationship because this might have been like, he's been holding this, like his ace up his sleeve. Like listen, I fuck up all the time, but if I really fuck up, I'm just gonna drop the L-bomb. And then he's gonna, and then the next one,

he's gonna buy you a dog and the next one, he's gonna buy you a ring and the next one. Then there's one that's like, Maybe, yeah. House, yeah, all that shit. I've been meaning to tell you, but you're pregnant. Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. All right, last one.

What's up guys, especially soon to be slim cat. That's doubtful. Yeah! I started my diet on Monday, Hank. Yeah. Can I have a little positive reinforcement? No. I hate, you had Monday.

Yesterday. At the Cubs game, Monday. I had Italian beef, but no bun. You know what, I'm getting back into Keto too. I haven't had a carb since Sunday night. Couple of breaded chicken fingers, but those are... What are you gonna do? You gonna rip it off?

No, but it's been fried, so all the carbs have been cooked out of it. Yeah, I walked 10,000 steps. I'm on vacation and one of the waiters at the outdoor bar said my body looks like I play volleyball. What does he mean by this? Thanks. I think it means you have no butt.

No, volleyball players have... Tall. Tall, lanky, no butt. I think that's what that means. Well, you're thinking of what's her name. You know. That, yeah. Kerry Walsh.

Yeah, I think that's right. I think that is right. That is right. Wow, good job. Thank you. Where does they walk? Yeah. I think...

Oh, Misty Misty. Misty May trainer. Yes. We caught him all. I think that he meant it as a compliment. I think if... Yeah, I think he's just horny. I think that's what that means.

I think it's better than being like, hey, you look like you play fullback. Here's the thing, no matter what a guy says to you, 90% of it can just translate to he's trying to have sex with you. So just go with that. And the other one, 10%? Do you say 90%?

Yeah. 10% is probably hungry. So that's pretty easy. And well, there's 1% that's like your friend's hot too. Yeah, your friend looks like Rachel McAdams. All right, that's our show Friday. It's happening. The Takies.

The 2017, 18. 16, 17, 18. 16, 17, 18. Takie Awards. 16, 17, 8. If you have something, if you have a category you'd like to see in it, tweet us. Let us know what you'd like to see represented.

But we have a whole list. We don't, if you are a new ordering listener, you are up for listener of the year, podcast listener of the year. Well, hopefully they can win their third. I'm just gonna say this right now. I don't know. I don't know which way I'm leaning.

So I would like to see maybe a lot of retweets tomorrow, a lot of, hey, everyone, subscribe. Hey, maybe some reviews. I don't know. Let's just, the jury's still out on who wins listed podcast listeners of the year. Yeah, I was actually checking online on I'dShark earlier today,

and they had the award-winning listeners as underdogs. Yeah. To repeat, the toughest thing to do in sports is to have a three-peat. These are Mary listeners who've had a big year. They have, they've had a great, great year. Joe Rogan listeners, Rogoholyx, they almost took it away from the last year.

Rogoholyx. I just made that up right now. That's good. That's good, but either way, so if you want to see a different category, tweet us, tell us who won this take, whatever, but that's kind of us just telling us, telling you to do our job for us,

but we're gonna do it as well. Yes. Yeah, we're gonna do our job for us. But if you want to do our job for us, don't let, don't let it stop you. So we'll have some guest call-ins, some people accepting awards, and we will see everyone for the take-ease on Friday.

Love you guys. Take on me. Take on me. Take me on. I'll be gone. And it's a long time. And it's a long time. So is it?

Why does it feel so great to stay up to me? Is the best you can say? It's so great. Take on me. Take me on. I'll be gone. Take on me. It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports.