Pardon My Take - Raptors Win The Title, Blues Win The Cup, And Rose Lavelle From The USWNT

Episode Date: June 14, 2019

The Toronto Raptors are your NBA Champions. We talk about the game, Klay's injury, Kawhi's trade, Nick Nurse's swag and Skip Bayless being salty as can be. (2:40-19:58) The Blues Win their first Stanley Cup in franchise history and Hank did soggy sorrows in the arena.(19:59-29:02) Fyre Fest Of The Week. (29:03-38:12) USWNT Star Rose Lavelle joins us to talk about the World Cup, how soccer works, Cincinnati and scoring mad goals. (40:27-1:06:04) Segments include Hard Knocks storylines for the Raiders, (1:08:08-1:12:45) talking golf - US Open, (1:12:46-1:15:58) the introduction of “The Jake” award (1:15:59-1:20:38) and License to Jill With Intern Jill (1:20:39-1:38:34)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, we have two championships to recap. Two! Two championships, back-to-back nights. We have crowned the NHL and the NBA champions. We personally have crowned them.

We personally have crowned them and we have U.S. women's national team star Rose LaValle. When's the next game? That'll be Sunday at noon, I believe. So we have Rose LaValle talk to her about playing for the U.S. women's national team World Cup fever, catch it, fire fest the week, and of course, license to Jill. Jillie football is back, she tells us what she's not mad but disappointed in. It's a packed Friday show. I don't think we've ever had two championships in one show.

I don't think we have either. So here we go, we're breaking history on today's pardon my take and it is brought to you by the Cash App, the number one finance app in the App Store. Cash App is the most powerful way to send, spend, and save. It's connected to the free cash card. The only debit card with boosts, just select a boost in your cash app then instantly save it some of your favorite places like 10% at Chipotle or $1 off at all coffee shops. They're always adding new boosts so check yours often best of all boosts are like unlimited

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For all of our AWLs if you download the Cash App and enter the referral code Barstool you'll receive $5 and they will donate and send $5 to one of our favorite charities, the ASPCA. Do it for the animals and be a lover. Download the Cash App today, enter code Barstool, get some money, and save some animals. Okay, let's go. Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now and get $5 the ASPCA using code Barstool. Today is Friday June 14th and the Toronto Raptors are NBA champions.

I think we're going to actually say world champions for the first time because they are Canadian. They've stolen our trophy. Be real shame if the Larry O'Brien trophy got held up in customs. Man, so we're going to get to the Stanley Cup final. Don't worry. Real shame. I'm sure the Blues fans who are like, why haven't you talked about that?

Well, guess what? We're going from chronological order backwards. So we're starting with what we watched most recently. The NBA Finals have concluded it was a wild, weird, so random NBA Finals with all the injuries, the Raptors being in it to begin with. I don't know where you want to start. I mean, let's start. I think the big story and people are Canadian listeners will be upset.

But I think if you want to tell the story of this series, you have to talk about the injuries first. Okay, it kind of sucks because it was a major storyline. Obviously, Kevin Durant being out and then Clay Thompson with the MCL, willing himself back on to take his free throws. And then he went to the locker room, had a little Colt McCoy father son moment. And they said, we're not going to let you play probably the Warriors staff, probably medical staff.

The right call. They didn't want to fuck another thing. They were like, well, here's, here's the point where the where their best player out on the court, their most reliable finals player besides Steph Curry was Sean Livingston. And we know about his iron. I'd say Draymond Green. We know that his knees are just our $1 bookie cousins was speaking of. Yeah.

Speaking of that was just a Sean Livingston knee joke. Yeah. But speaking of AI, Iggy and, and of Draymond, they, when they were shooting their three pointers tonight, they looked like they would rather be anywhere else. Well, yeah, they can't shoot anymore. So all right. So I want to, if we're going to talk with the injuries first, I want to, I want to read you something.

Okay. Yeah. You can tell me who said it and when they said it. Okay. I apologize for us being healthy. I apologize for us playing who was in front of us. I apologize for all the accolades we received as a team and individually. I'm very truly sorry and we'll rectify that situation this year.

Hmm. Hmm. Would that be Steph Curry, Steph Curry 2015 after winning the title. He said it actually in the fall. So there you go. That was that's when Kyrie's knee explainer Kyrie and Kevin Love didn't play in the finals. Injuries happen. Not saying that the Warriors with Kevin Durant and Clay Thompson probably they probably win

that series. That's pretty like a parent, but injuries happen. Yeah. Kawhi hurt his ankle when, uh, when, uh, what's his name, Zaza ran underneath him. Chris Paul got hurt in the rocket series last year that went seven games injuries happened. They help you. They hurt you. If you're going to, if you're going to complain about it now, you then have to go back to Steph

Curry saying, I apologize for playing the team in front of us and being healthy because guess what? Being healthy is part of it and there's nothing you can do. So the Raptors deserve everything they got. They are willing NBA champions and I don't look, I hate when people do the asterisks. Being healthy is part of winning an NBA championship. It is. But I was telling the story of tonight was probably going to do that.

They're going to do that. They will do that. And to take nothing away. But it's just one step. Yeah. Well, let's talk about Steph because Steph had a Charlie horse tonight. He was injured. So that's, that's another major asterisk.

Bad, bad shooting night for Steph. I think he was six for 17. I don't blame him because like you said, the best play, like no one out there wanted to shoot. He, he was, he had all the focus of the Raptors defense. It was essentially like they already, when they already had just clay, it was hard enough because you, you exactly nail it. I mean, Draymond and Iggy do not want to shoot three pointers.

Draymond at least tried to shoot them tonight. You know what they look like? Have you ever been to the ocean and you have to go in and pee, but the water is really cold, but you got to do it anyways. And you're just about to take that first dive. You're like, I guess I got to do this. That's what they looked like every time they were shooting a three point. Yes.

So, and then speaking of role players and Draymond actually had, I think he had 19 rebounds. Holy shit. He had 19 rebounds, 13 assists and 11 points. So he played pretty well, but the role players for the Raptors, Fred Van Vleet or as Jeff Van Gundy kept on saying Fred Van Fleet. Yeah. Unreal. Nellie.

So good. Yeah. Nellie with the bandaid. With the bandaid. So good. Hubey Brown, his old ass voted him for MVP of the NBA finals. I like that. The only one he, Kauai was going to get a unanimous MVP vote and Hubey was like, wait, is this

a vote for the whole series or just tonight? Because Fred Van Vleet was unbelievable and hit shot after shot and Kyle Lowry, who I think everyone is trashed on Kyle Lowry in the past. He was unbelievable too. He basically came out, I think he hit like his first four shots. He was on fire. So I mean, the Raptors were, I just wanted, don't want to do the thing where we take away from the Raptors because the Warriors, everyone who gets injuries and everyone has to deal

with injuries and the Warriors had an unbelievable run. They almost won tonight too. Yeah. They did. They could have won at the end. They had the shot from Steph Curry. That stat came up saying that Steph Curry is 0 for 7 in lead changing shot opportunities in the last like minute of a game and in the playoffs, but that's kind of a misleading

stat because he's in the amount of playoff games he's played that have only been seven times that he's had the opportunity to take the lead on the last. So like, yeah, he's just really fucking good. The rest of the game. Right. And this is the funniest thing that we do with sports as sports fans, we wait until a team loses to start like heaping the praise on them and being like, you know what? The Warriors were the better team, but they had the injuries and like the Warriors have

had an unbelievable run. They've been incredible. They've won three out of the four. They've, you know, the 73 win season obviously didn't end in a title, but they've had this like historic run and everyone threw shots at them. The Charles Barkley, you know, jump shot teams can't win a title. And then we wait till they lose to be like, the Warriors are so fucking good. They would have won this title.

They were great. It's real. We always do this. Yeah. We're so stupid as sports. No, you're definitely right. It's like now that they've officially lost, it's like, shit, we, we should have appreciated them.

We took that for granted. Didn't we? Well, now you know what we get to do? We're going to get to the narrative of were the Warriors a dynasty, were they a true dynasty? I count anything three and four. I think yes. I'd say three out of four. Absolutely.

Three out of five is when you really start to have the conversation three and also three out of four and five straight finals. Yes. So, but also does this diminish LeBron James's earlier victory over the Warriors because now Kawhi went ahead and he did. It's true. It's a good question. And is the true dynasty, Patrick McCaw, who now has a three P. So he won with the Warriors

the last two years. Now he won with the Raptors tonight. I like that. So that he has his own personal three P. I like that. You try to guess who said this about Kawhi Leonard. You ready? Yes. I still can't figure out how number two won his first finals in one, his first finals

in VP. We're not even talking about tonight. Okay. His first finals MVP. He wasn't the Spurs leading score in that finals. Tony Parker was number two was the third leading rebounder, Duncan average 15 and 10. Number two was third and plus minus Manu was first. Number two held LeBron to 28 again.

MVP question, question, question. Fuck, Steph is that bitter? That was also Steph. Yeah. Our friend Skip Bale is number two. The number two. Yeah. People are, I mean, you can't take anything away from Kawhi.

I think Kawhi now this conversation has already happened, but it is he is now officially the best trade ever for a one year guy. Like not talking about career wise because I'm sure you can find trades that, you know, ended up working better career wise, but going all in for one year and being like, let's just do it. Let's have Kawhi come to Toronto. He might not stay. He probably still won't stay, which is going to be hilarious if he doesn't.

And just throw all of our chips in the middle and it worked out. Like there's never been a trade like that that has worked so perfectly like this one. And now everyone's going to try to do this. Everyone's going to talk themselves into like, Oh, Anthony Davis for one year. The Knicks are going to give everything for Anthony Davis and just put them out there with no one. This does change the rent a player concept. Yeah.

Like it worked for this one team. So everyone's going to go and I agree with that. You know, if it does work, it's awesome. It's perfect. Yes. Because I guarantee you every Raptors fan out there would absolutely trade like one year of giving up all these assets for this one title. Flags fly forever.

Yeah. That's right. As a capitalist fan, I know flags fly forever. DeMar DeRosin is sitting in San Antonio right now and man, that sucks. That's really all I got to say. You got the Churros and you got the chips. You got the chip and Spurs fans in general, like you have to think like, Holy shit, Kawhi Leonard, who now everyone is going to, because what is what we also do, especially with Kevin

Durant getting injured, but whoever wins the title is the best player in the world. And so Kawhi will be the best player in the world for at least a year. And Spurs fans get to be like, Oh, damn, that was our guy. And guess what? There is no off season at all in the NBA. Nope. As soon as they were handing out the Larry O'Brien trophy, as the microphone is being handed to the general manager of the Raptors, I know you're sorry, Reggie, Woj dropped the

Woj bomb. Perfect timing by Woj. Yep. I can't let the guy have his moment. Boom. The Washington Wizards are going to make a Godfather offer, which means everyone's going to get killed. Yeah.

And they're going to try to get him to the Wizards. And I don't know who the Wizards wait, who's trying to get to them to the Wizards? Who are they trying to get? They're trying to get the general manager. Oh, Messiah. Reggie. Oh, got it. Got it.

Yeah. So they're trying to get him to the Wizards. The guy who just won a title and they're like, he's in the middle of champagne and everything. Yeah. The Wizards say what you want about the franchise, but they could use somebody that knows how to get their opponents all injured instead of their current players. It might work. I thought the Wizards were going to make a Godfather offer for Kevin Durant and be like

the all injured team and just be like, let's just play for 2021 or whatever the fuck. Which have him and John Wall rehab together all year, become best of friends. So that sucks, by the way. That was another thing that happened. Kevin Durant is confirmed torn Achilles and he's going to be out for basically all of the, I think all of next year, right? Yeah. That's what they said.

Yeah. So it's a nine month injury, which doesn't mean he's going to be out for all next year, but everyone's saying. Same as a pregnancy. Yeah. He's going to be all out next year. That was a little thing with the, I don't, this might be me being too woke, but when Clay Thompson gets hurt and he goes back in the locker room and he's running around like

he looks like he can come back in. Do you think there's a little bit of the Warriors? They're like, wait, Clay is the guy that we're going to sign to a max deal. He's staying. Kevin Durant was leaving no matter what or as far as we know, Kevin Durant is not our problem injured or healthy. Clay Thompson injured like they probably sat there and they said, if Clay Thompson gets re-injured and tears his ACL, this is not losing this year.

This is losing next year too. I don't know if it was as much that as it was just like, we can't let this happen twice in a row. It's like fool me once, shame on you. We can't get fooled again. Yeah. But it is a little bit of it. There's a little bit of it where it's like, yeah, this is the guy that's supposed to be

on the team next year. So we have to protect him. Kevin Durant, who knows what his future is going to be? Yeah. I don't know if it was as much that as it was just like, we'll be extra careful this time. Classic Park, no longer the factory of sadness there. Drake Curse.

Drake Curse over. Damn. I'd even think about that. That's a real shame. These guys right after the Raptors, one you were in the other room, but Liam and Hank just started talking to each other like, do you think we're going to get some new Drake? The new Drake's going to be fire. No, we better get some new Drake.

I've never felt older. I was just like, this is what we're talking about. I'm trying to laugh at Kauai not smiling here. Yeah. I hope that there will be a new Drake just that we'll have something to talk about. We should name the song Jurassic Park. Oh, that's not bad. And you can sample the music.

Oh, that would be really good. Yeah. And Kauai laugh. Oh, that's good too. Yeah. The little beat right there. Yeah. When the spinning dinosaur opens up its things, it's just the Kauai that.

Yeah. I never saw it. Nick Nurse's buttons almost popped. I wrote that down. Okay. That was a, shout out Nick Nurse, man. Worst name ever for a coach. The NN hat has his bottom button almost burst, calls a terrible timeout in game five, wins

a title. That's a hell of a run. Listen, I like Nick Nurse because he's like, he's a glow up Joe Prunty and he was able to get it done. And he's, I mean, he's got to be fucking pumped tonight. This is as good as life's going to get for a guy named Nick Nurse. Yeah. So now Raptors fans, I don't know, you're going to be annoying.

We're going to probably hate you soon enough. Well, yeah, we enjoy it. We turn on everyone. Yeah. Yeah. Have fun. I mean, this was, I'm not taking anything away from the Raptors. The Kawhi also first player in NBA history to win finals MVP in both conferences.

That's kind of impressive. Well, the first one he shouldn't have won, we already established that. Yeah, that's true. That is true. One and a half. Yeah. Now, and the Oracle is closed. That's too bad.

The Oracle is done. By the way, that was kind of weird. When they had like the Kevin Durant, like win one for Kevin and all the KD things, like he didn't die. Right. It's always weird when we do these things with the injuries and he's also leaving. He's also probably leaving. Yeah.

And he did put his heart on the, you know, like on the line and his leg on the line for the team. And maybe if they had that attitude, like beforehand, he just wouldn't have played and got hurt again. Right. But just win one for Kevin is like, did he die? Like it was like this big graphic they put up on the Jumbotron. It just felt a little weird.

It did. And they jumped into the KD strong thing a little too quickly. Yes. Yes. Yeah. So, uh, shamed into it. Shame on the Warriors for having too many players with legs. Yeah.

And FDR was in a wheelchair and he won World War II. True. And then we get Kevin Durant. His legacy is now supplanted thereby basically being like it was his team all along. That's true. Even though Steph had no help at the end, but still. I made one note here. I loved watching Boogie towards the end of the game because he was just rumbling, stumbling,

bumping. He was just throwing his body around. He was, you know what I noticed about him in the fourth quarter, Boogie gets so tired that when there's a pass coming into him, he's so late getting his arms up. His arms are tired. It's like, have you ever been like, uh, hanging out at a house or something and you've got your hands down your pants and someone tosses you a beer and your hand gets like stuck reaching up and rabbit?

Very unique situation. Of course. That's what it looked like when, when he was trying to grab a ball that was being like thrown into the key. Very specific. What's happened to me a lot. Jackoff parties. Yeah.

Yeah. The rain city jacks in Seattle and some dudes like here, dude, Zima, and you're like, fuck, got to pull my hand out. Listen, it happens a lot. You got to make adjustments on the go. You could just say he was winded. He, he then running zone in the first half was ridiculous, like so funny because of Boogie. And then he was, he was at the situation where every time he caught it down low, he just

turned around and tried to barrel through people. Yeah. Like someone, if, if that was a pickup game, someone would be like, dude, we're not trying to get injured here. Right. Just stop throwing your weight around all the time on every play and it wasn't malicious. It was just like, when big guys get tired, they get sloppy and that's what happened with Boogie.

Yeah. They should have put Boog it in Boog it's in it. Get any minutes night. Yeah. Boog it. I mean, he's another one where it's like, this is, it's so funny watching the NBA now. All these tall guys are like, you throw them in there and they're like, well, that guy's going to get fucked on the pick and roll.

Yeah. When you look at the Warriors, they've succeeded by zigging while everybody else zags all the time. They basically changed how the game of basketball is played in the NBA. I expected Steve Kerr to just be like, you know what, fuck it. Let's go big. Let's get Boogie in there. Let's get Boog it.

Yeah. I call him JJ. JJ Reddit. Yeah. Just get everyone in there and just throw it. Post possessions. Yeah. Exactly.

Make sure everyone gets a touch. Little kick. Get the hook shot back. That would have been a nice little, I mean, they really had no answers because how, what do you do when you lose everyone and Steph Curry has to dribble around and he's got a dislocated finger and he's got the thigh contusion. The thigh contusion. Did you see the stat that he's like 0 for 20 though for like go ahead or game winning

shots in fourth quarter? Yeah. Yeah. I heard that about five minutes ago on this show. He said it was 0 for seven. My bad. But that's okay. Yeah.

No, the Steph haters will definitely be out. I, again, we're going to do the reverse. The pendulum just swings back and forth. It's so stupid that everyone hit, you know, and myself included, I hated that, you know, I would throw stones at Steph and do the whole thing and now I'm going to be like, man, I respect his greatness. Yeah. So enjoy it.

Enjoy it tonight, Canada. We're not going to bust her, but we're not going to turn on you yet. Yeah. You guys already have done enough self harm this week with your hating of US women's national team and all that stuff. Speaking of which, coming up, Rose LaValle, barstoolgold.com slash PMT if you want to watch it. If you want to watch it.

Yeah. And we have a new episode of the extra, the bonus episode came out two days ago and it's with the head groundskeeper of the Fenway Park. It was an awesome interview. And his dog. Crazy story. I got hit by a car three times. Mm hmm.

All right. Let's talk about Stanley Cup finals. Hank. Running out of time. Would you like to start? So would you were there? I was there. I was in the barn.

Thank you. I was in the barn. Shout out to Harry listener for inviting me. It was an unreal atmosphere. Once in a lifetime opportunity. The second goal that they scored at the end of the first period that was basically the game. There is nothing more crushing in playoff hockey than giving up goals in the final

minute of a period. And as a person who is admittedly not a hockey fan when I am like pointing something out being like what are you doing? What are you doing? No, no, no. Yeah. They scored. It's like that.

That must be really bad. And honestly it was. It was it was brutal because they scored with under 10 seconds left. And like I know the two nothing leads the worst league in hockey, but the game was basically over. Yeah. Yeah. Bruins never they should have scored letting up two goals out of four shots is just deflating.

Craziest that would have been if you guys had won if the Bruins had won that game. That would have meant that the Patriots would have had the least amount of championships of any Boston team. So it's been zone. Patriots are still not the worst team in Boston history. The fact that so we just had the Raptors win with the quiet trade and go from like a joke of a franchise where everyone laughed about them getting bounced every year. I wish an NBA title and then we had the Blues would never want a Stanley Cup and I don't

like the Blues, but I'm going to give them some credit here because the fact that they went from the worst team in the NHL January 2nd to winning the Stanley Cup is insane. That's an insane run. Bennington was insane. Like that whole thing is just crazy that they were able to put that together and have that type of run and then win. They win three games on the road. Yeah.

Yeah. They won three games on the road in the Stanley Cup final. I mean, they were as impressive as impressive gets and Hank, do we have a soggy sorrows? Yeah. I mean, it's not much is just me, you know, taking there was a security guard. I had like a beer. I was going to go full, full, full soggy, but he was like, saw what I was doing. I asked someone to fill me and he was like, don't do it.

Don't do it. So I kind of just had to do the PFT. So great. He wouldn't. What do you mean? It's not great. The PFT soggy sorrows was amazing. It was amazing.

I gave full credit for it. Yeah. So I was like standing by the glass and I was like, all right, I'm going to like, I gave the guy my phone and security guard saw me and kind of picked up on the situation was like, don't pour that on your head and just didn't want to see you waste beer. Yeah. Yeah. So do you have it?

Can we play it? Can we play it? I mean, it's just me pouring beer on my head. But sure. Did you talk during it? Not really. So what our whole direction was make sure you talk into a video camera right after. I mean, the silent soggy sorrows that that also conveys an emotion.

Play it into the mic. I feel like we're back there. That's it. That was it. Don't pour that kid. Hey. Hey, you guys. Is that Nicole?

Anything? Don't you dare do it. No. Let me see it. Turn around. This is the worst. Oh, you actually did pour a little on your head. You look like a marathoner just like tossing a cup of data in your face.

Hank, I want I want to talk to you real quick, though, because you did say that you stayed and watched and you said the Stanley Cup presentation is the coolest thing ever. It was nice. I mean, they literally had the red carpet, the music, they like it's they play up the dramatics of it. It was a very it was I took some pictures where it's like these are great pictures that I just don't want, but they're awesome pictures. Like it was it was a very it was one of those things where like this is this is cool.

I got you. Yeah, you don't. You're not happy, but you're like your inner sports fan takes over and you're like, fuck. Yeah, like that's seeing the Stanley Cup in person and the way they do the dramatics where it's like the slow walk and then they finally give it and everyone just goes nuts. What I really appreciate is Boston's commitment to booing commissioners because when Batman came out there to present the trophy, they let him fucking have I know I'm admittedly a little bit behind on why everybody.

Oh, they always go so hard. But it was like a Roger Goodell type. Yeah, it's one of my favorite things every year is Batman getting booed to like just as hard as hard as possible. First of all, we should make sure that we credit the St. Louis dispatch because they yes, they didn't have this all first. That's true. That is true.

They did have the blues winning the cup like a week ago. The Stanley Cup presentation and like the trophy and how they you know, skate around. It is the best in sports. That is the best like celebration in sports and you know, they always do and Doc Emmerich always does an awesome job where he just has like little tidbits. He's like and here comes this guy. His dad taught him how to play hockey on the lakes of Alberta and then his mom drove a truck every single night so that he could afford pads.

Yeah. He's lifting this cup for these people. How about Adam Silver kind of taking that this year though and tying it all into Canada? Yeah. Saying that the first NBA championship was won by a Canadian team. Really? And it was invented by a Canadian. Oh, yeah.

That's true. Trying to make the global game. Yep. I forgot that it wasn't marked by a Canadian. So Hank, overall pretty shitty time. I mean, I don't really know. I don't know. I'm talking about sorry.

The worst soggy sorrow was waking up. It was my birthday. I was like, damn. I got to go all the way back to work. I'm kind of hungover. I have to get on a train. I have to walk in pouring rain. This would be a million times better if the Bruins won.

Also last two games of the garden I've been to was game seven against the Cavs when Celtics lost and game seven to the Stanley Cup finals. Now, did you? What is that noise? That I think is a janitor. Oh, the cleaning people out there. Oh, the cleaning people are here. So it's like one in the morning.

Sorry. The cleaning people are here. Yeah. So the Blues. I hate you, but you deserved it. Yeah. Hell of a fucking win. And you know what?

I would rather see a team that has never won a title. Get there first. That's always a little bit special, right? Just like seeing the Raptors win one, seeing the Blues win one. If I have to choose between the two, I was rooting for the Bruins just for Hank because I like a happy Hank. A happy Hank is a good Hank to be around. Too happy is a little dangerous.

And it was his birthday. I like overconfident cocky Hank because then you can kind of... You like ultra sunrise monster energy Hank? Yeah, because he overextends himself sometimes and you can take advantage of that on the other side. Also, the worst part was that the Bruins never had a chance. It was never... In the first period, they had a few chances where they should have scored and people were

going nuts. But after they went down to nothing, the whole building, you could just feel the anxiety. There was never any really like, let's get behind them and hopefully we can score one and win. It was just like, oh shit. Yeah. We're behind. The Bruins.

And time's going down. The first period was, like I said, giving up a goal under a minute to go and play off hockey is the worst feeling in the world. But on top of that, having a team score more than you, but you out-shoot them like two to one and dominate the action. It's like five to one. That is the... You just know bad shit's going to happen.

By the way, you mentioned the first team to ever win. Shout out Rick Eisen because... Rich Eisen. Rick Eisen. Rich Eisen because he put together a list. We've had a hell of a run this past decade. The Kings won their first cup ever. The Caps won their first cup ever.

The Blues won their first cup ever. The Mavericks won their first title ever. The Caps won their first title ever. The Raptors won their first title ever. And there was another one. Oh, well, we had obviously like a bunch of baseball stuff, you know, with the Cubs obviously winning and then the Giants breaking a long time thing. And so...

The Falcons won their... Oh, no, no. Okay. That was really mean of you. You know what I'm going to... You know what the narrative I'm going to go with? Like, I don't care that the Caps lost this year. The Caps are the new Giants.

So we got the Even Your Bullshit. Every two years? Even Your Bullshit is now the Caps. And what obviously is going to play forever? Probably. I mean, well, there's... I can take solace in the fact that whatever the Blues do with the Stanley Cup, it's not going to touch the Caps celebration last year.

Although I did see some citizens of St. Louis trying to push over the arch. Yeah, that was actually kind of funny. That was pretty cool. That was pretty funny. You guys can do it. It was the other part of the Seahawks first title ever, Eagles first in 57 years, Astros first title ever. Yeah.

Big decade for teams kind of breaking the curse or popping the cherry. It is cool to watch those teams do that even though I hate the Blues. All right. That was really nice of me. I thought I was very mature. That was good. You know what it is? It's just like seeing the majesty of the Stanley Cup kind of brings out the best in

all of the last year. What's that? And also the Caps winning in 2016 changes the dynamic of like... It's kind of just the reverse. Like the Blues have never won one so just like now everything's kind of even. It was a great handshake line too. It was. Amazing.

Fantastic. The start of it, it was Chara and who shook his hands first, Ryan O'Reilly. That handshake lasted for at least three patinos. You could feel it. Yeah. You could feel it. Players swear on the hot mic at the end of the show. Oh, yes.

That was great. And Ryan O'Reilly's saying, oops, sorry, right? Like instantly after, yeah, there was a lot of F-bombs. Hopefully people weren't listening. Yeah. We don't do F-bombs in this show. Kids at home weren't in bed. Yeah.

Fuck. Shit. Fucker. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Okay. Hey, fuck you, eh? Let's do our Firefest of the Week.

Hank. Okay. I mean, I feel like that whole situation was basically a Firefest. But to add another one, I'm looking for new apartments and shit. I found a place online, saw it, liked it, put a down payment on it and then after going through all the paperwork and shit, the person who I was dealing with was like, oh, by the way, there's a broker's fee, it's going to be like fucking a shitload more money. That's how they get you.

So I'm not going to the apartment. Yeah. I don't know how anybody moves. Oh, you're not? No, I don't know. Well, I just, it was like, you were going to be buddies with PFT. That was actually. Turns out, Hank didn't know the geography of New York.

No, PFT didn't know the geography. No. He was like, I'm going to move in. Get a geography off? He goes, I'm going to move into right next to your favorite wing place. And I was like, oh, that's awesome. And then he's like, yeah, it's going to be great. I can see the water.

And I was like, well, no, you can't see water from my wing place. You mean the toilet? There's a puke after each of many wings. There's a second wing place. That's like a mile south. Same name. So Hank would have been down in the financial district, just moving and shaking with all the Wall Street guys.

You just grab those big, big balls and just take New York by storm. But not anymore. So what are you going to do? Greed is good. I don't know. Figure it out. I have to, I have to, I have to August. But.

OK. Yeah. Your brokerage fees are a fire. That's. Or you have till August makes me. Hank, if it's a fire, that's, that doesn't. You're going to be living on Long Island in August. I mean, we got a couch in here.

You just been like, I got this August. If it's a fire fest, you could always just be like Andy and just be doing, you know, willing to do whatever it takes to wave those brokerage fees. Yeah, that's true. I mean, if this is, if this is a month from now, my brokerage fees do suck. You got to find a building that doesn't have those. It was also, that's what I thought I was doing. And it was at the very end of the process where the guy was like,

oh, by the way, like there's a 15% brokerage fee. And it was like, oh, that's why it was so cheap. That's why. Motherfucker. You should just buy a house, Hank. That way you don't have to pay for it. You should just offer him. You should actually just bring us to the negotiation.

Art of the deal, no big deal. We'd just be like, hey, how about it? So that brokerage fee, three hundred dollars cash. Boom. People always take cash over anything else. If you say cash, like if you just say it really forcefully, hey, Hank, brokerage fee, or how about I give you $50 cash? Isn't it just New York that does brokerage fees?

Oh, like that's what I don't understand. Yeah, I literally walked me into apartment. It was like, hey, this is a living room. This is the bedroom. All right, you like it. See you later. Right. What is the fee for?

I think that produces their own fucking apartment. Yeah, but yeah, most places the the owner pays the broker. No, no, it's it's a little bit of both. But what they do is on like the Craigslist ads and the apartment hunting ads, they say no brokerage fee. And they just click the option for no brokerage fee. And then you meet them, then you like the place. And like, by the way, there's a huge fucking brokerage.

Yeah, yeah, pay me. That's our Hank. How about we do this? We set up one of those giant inflatable scabby the rat things that they use for for like strikes and union protests. And we just tell the guy, we're going to put this outside the building unless you let my oh, there's been one down the street for me recently. And there was a big fucking union brawl.

Yeah, it was awesome. Stephen Crowder there getting punched in the face again. Fuck that guy. PFT, why don't you go? My personal firefest of the week is that Mike All-Stott, one of my heroes, all time fullback. I think I had him listed as number one fullback of all time on my power rank as you should have is a sellout.

He's a fullback sellout. So the athletic wrote a big piece about the dying position of the fullback, which is actually not true because it's made a comeback the last couple years kind of and they interviewed All-Stott. He's a high school coach. And he doesn't use a fullback in his offense. That motherfucker does not use a fullback. I was wondering where this was going.

And that is truly shocking. It's it's like I thought that is I thought you were going to say like, Mike All-Stott lost a hundred pounds or something. No, super. But that is shocking. My only theory. I have two theories of maybe why he's doing this. So like an internal spin zone in my mind.

One, he doesn't want anybody to be a better fullback than him. Fact. So he doesn't want to coach anybody up too high. Yep. Number two, maybe it's like you're not allowed to throw a curve ball and literally you got to wait until your elbow develops. Maybe he's like, I have to wait until my players and tangibles develop until I can allow them to play fullback.

Yeah. Or a third one could be maybe he's just trying to make it as difficult as possible for him to coach football. Like, hey, I want to I want to coach on a curve here, not using the most important position in the world. That's a good point. Like basically like I'm going to fight you guys with one hand tie behind my back. He's being a fullback of a coach by not having a fullback on his team.

That's that's a good spin zone, too. Yeah. But I'm I'm not I'm not happy. That's brutal. I actually feel really bad for you. I think fullbacks are being more and more encouraged to become like more glamorous positions these days, like general manager or hold back coach. Yeah, no, it's true.

The whole back coach, the that is a fullback. How the whole back coach killed the fullback. Yeah. That is this definitely an article coming. Absolutely. By you, probably. Yes, I think I might just go ahead and write that. But yeah, fuck, Michael.

I don't want to say. No, no, don't say it. Don't go that far. You can always we'll smooth it out. Yeah, like let's talk. Yeah, it's you guys are just going through some things. We're going through a rough patch right now. You're sleeping.

You're you're sleeping on work done's couch. That's fun right now. OK, it's fine. All right. My personal fire fest. Have you guys heard of this thing called you probably have because I'm very late to it. But the I think it's pronounced. Akai bowls, S.I.E.

Bowls. OK. So I found out about them. They're awesome. It's basically ice cream. But then I found out they make you fat. Yeah. So that's how they get you.

So it sounds very I ate like six of them in the last probably seven days. And I was like, this is sick. They're like, this is so good. It tastes I would eat a whole meal. Then I'd eat my Akai bowl for my little dessert and be like, well, it's got strawberries, not ice cream. It's great. Boom.

Turns out it basically is ice cream. They're labeled as superfood. Yeah. But I think you have to eat like one and a half of them, like one and a half berries. And then that's good for you. But what they do is they just make it like this big paste. Yes, it's ice cream. Yeah.

With a bunch of honey and syrup and bananas and chocolate. Yeah, I should have been tipped off when the chocolate came in. But it is one of those things where if you buy like if they if they fancy up like a French fry place and they make you think that it's not like a McDonald's, you'll go into it and say to yourself, this is actually great for me. This is superfood, like you said. So I got tricked. I thought I had cracked the code.

I thought I had found something that I could eat in replacement of ice cream because I eat a lot of ice cream. Turns out I'm wrong. So that's my personal fire. You know what they do in those those restaurants that serve bowls is they just have everybody that works there look like a yoga instructor. Yeah. And then if they if everybody's serving, it looks healthy.

Then you're like, oh, yeah, then I'll look like that if I eat enough of this because this is what they eat. They're playing they're playing they're playing that music that you you hear when you go to like a spa, you know, the little bit of the ambient sound. It's an ambient slash jazz slash windpipe thing that's going on. They'll mix in like an injury do maybe acoustic Jackson Brown song. Yeah, once an hour. Yeah, you just feel good going in.

And then yeah, you're right. Everyone's wearing the lululemon and you're like, damn, these people are fit. It's acai time, baby. Yeah. And then you just walk out of there and you realize that you're just eating like 1500 calories for my dessert again, not my actual meal. I think you're supposed to eat it as a meal or not as a dessert. You can also spin it to be like, oh, it's a good breakfast food

because it jump starts your metabolism. That's every time I eat something really shitty for breakfast. Like this morning I had three donuts and my rationalization was it's early in the morning. So I'm kicking that metabolism into high gear by spiking my blood. You're supposed to eat all your calories in the morning. That's right. So I tried to do that, but then I just ate more of all my calories

throughout the entire year. Reasoning was right. It was sound. Thank you. It was sound, a quick update. Drake has announced he's putting out a song tomorrow called Omerta, Money in the Grave, featuring Rick Ross. Great.

Oh, so was it made because for the Raptors? Yeah, probably. I mean, Omerta, I don't I'm not a I'm not a Omerta is the Italian code for for silence, not Latino, but it's the thing that big pussy broke. And then he got shot on the boat. Yeah. Yeah, Omerta doesn't even flinch anymore. You got to that part.

Yeah, you got to that part. What the hell? It means stop snitching. Yeah. So you're good. Okay. Yeah. That was actually the worst death for me, pussy.

Really? Yeah, because you don't fuck anymore. Well, no, then all the all the other ones like ha, uh, that's a good one. Yeah. All the other one really threw Hank off all the other ones that we told you weren't as weren't as impactful. Yeah. Well, then I stopped watching it.

Okay. All right. Let's get to our interview with Rose LaValle. US women's soccer team, uh, star, she scored two, two goals against Thailand, which actually adjusted for inflation is not that many goals. Well, still, she's a star. I want to clear that up real quick because many people are saying that we shouldn't have scored that many goals.

Uh, the first tiebreaker is gold differential. Yeah, exactly. So if we lose to Chile by 15 goals, we're fucked, then we're fucked. Yeah. Well, no. Because we scored 13 against Thailand. Maybe. Yeah, but it's just good that we scored a baker's dozen.

Um, all right. Before we get to that, I want to talk to you guys about Duncan go twos. They're the best deal out there. Duncan go twos. You can get a great deal on two of your favorites, two egg and cheese wraps for $2, two bagels with cream cheese spread for $4 and two bacon, egg and cheese croissants for $5. In my opinion, it's pretty tough to, uh, deal to beat.

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featuring a live performance by Jake Owen and of course, plenty of Bud Light for a chance to win. Simply post your Bud Light summertime photos using the hashtag real enough to get away and hashtag Bud Light contest on Facebook and Instagram. See Bud Light dot com slash real enough to get away right now for more details. OK, here she is. U.S. women's national team superstar, Rose Lavelle. OK, we now welcome on a very special guest member of the U.S.

women's national team who is going to be playing in the World Cup this summer. It's Rose Lavelle, also number 10. Is that me, your best player on the team? I'm actually not number 10. Well, that is wrong. You're number 10 on the Washington spirit. I don't know. There you go. So let me rephrase it.

Do you aspire to someday be number 10 on the U.S. women's team? I think there's a long line of people who want it before me, who will get it before me. Yeah, but I do love the number. Yeah, I mean, that's like the that's the goalscores number, right? I know we're limited soccer knowledge. I own a team, but other than that, I own Swansea. No big deal. They were in the EPL.

Yeah, yeah. But number 10 is a big deal. Yeah, I love the number. It's messy number. OK, 10. Oh, who's the goat? Yeah, we wrote that down to. No, actually, it's me and him. I was asking about the women's national team. So we are our acres.

Who is it? I was obsessed with me and him. That was my that was my idol. The whole world was. Yeah. Yeah. So wait, we were going to get to that. But let's just do it right now. You you're firmly messy versus Ronaldo, messy. Yeah, I'm a messy fan.

OK, good, because we are too. We're a messy podcast. OK, good. Yeah, I'm glad you guys brought me in today. And yes, absolutely. I was reviewing your social media before you came in. You have a good account, good, clean Twitter account. You have a very nice bulldog. She's a thick little chunk girl, huh?

She's actually very slender. Oh, has she lost weight? Because I know that you had her. You had her on a weight loss. I didn't have her on a weight loss journey, but she has slimmed down to her physique is like unreal now. Yeah, is she going to make the trip over to France? Unfortunately, not.

Yeah, no, OK, I actually I also went through your Twitter and I noticed a very problematic tweet about your bulldog. You said still cannot believe I have the world's cutest dog. Yeah, I'd actually say I have the world's cutest dog. That's weird, because I actually have the world's cutest dog. You're excluding a lot of people when you say something like that. Let's just be careful with Twitter these days.

You know, people find problematic things in everything. You know, I actually have found it very problematic seeing people say that they have the world's cutest dog. Exactly, exactly. I do. Yeah. All right. Let's talk some soccer. First question. Are you guys going to win the World Cup?

Well, that's the plan. OK, I guarantee it so that we get headlines. Yeah. I don't want to jinx anything. OK, all right, fine, fine, fine. That's the plan. You're guaranteeing it's the plan to win the World Cups. Would you rather win a World Cup or a gold medal in the Olympics? Well, I'm going to say a World Cup right now because it's about a month away. Yes. OK.

Are you guys in the group of death? Actually, not this year. I feel like the U.S. always draws the group of death. I feel like with like the youth teams every time, like all across every age group, we draw the group of death. But no, I don't think we have it this year. So this year it's your group is USA. I should say our group

because we are Americans as well. Thailand, Chile, Sweden. Thailand, as Hank would say. Who's the best out of that group besides you guys? Obviously, USA. Sweden, they actually usually like the U.S. has drawn them a lot in the groups. And that's who knocked us out when we were in the Olympics.

So I would say that they're going to be they're probably going to be the toughest one. But I feel like you can't sleep on any team when you guys. So I'm always curious about this, like a team. U.S. is obviously the women's team is very, very good. You guys, I feel like you win the World Cup every single year or every single four years. They should do it every two years.

Do you get frustrated, though? Do teams oftentimes park the bus to pervert real bus on the U.S. and basically make it impossible for you guys to score? I mean, I've only been on the team for this is my third year now. And there's definitely some teams that park the bus. But I think a lot of teams have gotten a lot better and they don't need to do that. Right. China is a big bus parker.

Yeah, what happens if they put like 10 people in the box? I've always been curious, what happens like from on your side? If a team is like we are basically going to just play a game that is completely boring and put everyone in the box and just hope they don't score. Is that frustrating as hell? Yeah, yeah, it is very frustrating. But I mean, I think at the same time,

you can't you can't let your frustration show. Like you got to find a way to score. And it's kind of a mentality. So if you let your emotions get like too wrapped up, I would definitely let my emotions get the best of me. Just start screaming. You guys are trying. Like I've been trying to score a goal.

Sox, the thing I like about women's soccer more so than men's soccer is there's actually less flopping in women's soccer. Why do you think that is? Um, I don't know. I think because we want to keep playing up. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I don't enjoy watching the flopping. And there actually is some

some countries that flop more than others. Yeah, or a little more Brazil, Brazil. I'll let you guys, I'll let you guys figure it out yourself. Yeah, but yeah, I feel like women are much less theatrical. They are. They're tougher soccer players, in my opinion. And if you if you look at the group where and you said it's Chile, Thailand, Hank and Sweden, when you get ready to play a team like Thailand

or Sweden, where you might, I'm assuming maybe you've picked up on some Spanish along the way playing soccer as long as you did. But no, not really. Do you prepare at all like a little bit of trash talk for any of the teams in these new languages? Um, I've actually never been a trash talker. Ever, ever. OK, yeah, it's a meanest thing you said to someone.

You stick. We need to get you trashed. Yeah, yeah, I know. I might have to prep me before. OK, all right, we'll we'll maybe send you like a list of the weaknesses of all the other teams to know as Bueno Chile. Yeah, you're not good Chile. Oh, speaking of Chile, you're from Cincinnati.

Do you like Skyline? Yeah, do you like Skyline? That is absolute. Well, he actually likes it as I like it once a year as a joke. But yeah, it's it's good once a year to warm up the guts a little bit. But you've you've been you. It's Stockholm syndrome, the entire city of Cincinnati. You guys all are raised to think that it's good Chile.

And then you go out in the world. Like you you should actually bring some Skyline Chile to France. See how that plays. I will. Have you had some Skyline Chile dip? What was that? That's just Skyline Chile that you're trying to figure out a different way to know you guys are going to put some cream cheese on the bottom. Then you put the chili on top and the cheese.

So it's a seven layer dip, except six of the layers are just Skyline Chile. Yeah, guys, that's all I don't like. No, that's awful. So a big thing on last World Cup that was in North America was the grass versus the turf controversy. Do you play on a lot of turf in in the regular league? And then every cell. There's a couple teams that have turf fields.

I'm trying to think actually, it might just be one now. Is it noticeably different how much like harder it is on your body? Or whatever it may be. I mean, we're not I'm not really an athlete anymore. So we're tired. But I would I would assume that it sucks to play on the turf. Yeah, it does. It's a lot harder.

So like it feels like you're you're just running on such hard ground. And then the turf burns. Like any time you slide, you're getting all types of cut up. Yep. So yeah, it's definitely I I feel way worse the day after if I play on. And then what about the bubbles? Yeah, the black tire that get in your shoes. What about the actual like passing of like when you try to pass?

Is the ball obviously moves a lot differently? It depends on the turf. But yeah, sometimes it's like it's a lot faster. Yeah. Sometimes it's a lot like bouncier too. So yeah, I mean, it depends on the turf. There's no turf in France, right? Heck, no. All right.

There we go. We're back for a regular regular grass. Love it. How would you describe the US style of play? Because I feel like really elite teams have to have like a phrase that they're associated with like in men's soccer. It's what Tiki Taka for Spain. Oh, I'll take it for the U.S.

U.S. is just did not did not participate. Yeah, yeah. But for you guys, how would you describe the U.S. women's national team style of play? Um, I think we're kind of just like we're very transitional and we we want to wear you down. OK, goal scoring. Now, this is a gambling question

because we will be gambling on the U.S. Women's World Cup. Do you like to score goals? I like to score goals. OK, good question. So mark that down. Very good question. Take the over on every single game.

They're trying to score goals. Got it. There are some teams that do not try to score goals. And I hate those teams. They park the bus. They park the bus. But we are the bus. Yeah.

What's your favorite set piece? Like like corner kick or like 10 yards outside the box. I do. I like the shooting free kicks. OK. One where you can kind of got to play with the goalie a little direct kick. Yeah, what's the spot where you're like, I got this.

Like what's your zone, your heat map zone? If Rose gets a free kick at this point in the field, lights out, you're getting scored on. Oh, gosh. Well, that's a lot of pressure on me. I don't know. I like the ones where I can just like curl it with my left foot. Nice.

Bend it. Away from the goalie. Away from the goalie. So a kick that swings out, not in. Yeah. How do you curl it? Dumb question. You hit it a certain way with your foot.

So can you basically just tell the ball where to go at this point in your career? Yeah, I like whisper to it. You just the forward pass. At what point like high school, college to the pros, were you like, I can basically just do whatever I want with this ball? I don't know if there was ever a moment where I was like. You were just born exceptional.

I think maybe I just got better every year. So it didn't seem like it was sudden. I was more. Yeah, well, I love that part of soccer. Like, I mean, we're we're a messy podcast. You're a messy fan, like the way he can basically just dribble and it looks like the ball is attached to his foot. Yeah, it's insane.

Yeah, I love that. When you get up to take a penalty shot, do you know where it's going? Do you know where you're going to put it before you even step in? But like before the game, you're like, if I get a PK and put in a top left, or do you make that decision based on how shook the goalie looks? It depends, because I feel like the goalie. A lot of times it's a reading off of me, too. A lot of times I'll have my decision made already.

But if I see that the goalie is cheating a little, then I might switch it up. Yeah, I do. You switch it up like last second. Yeah, if they're cheating that hard, then yeah. OK, take what they give you. What's your what's your how many of you missed career wise? Um, I don't know, maybe. I have no clue. Maybe four or five.

If we were in goal, how many could we stop? I used to play goalie, so keep that in mind. Yeah. Wow. I own a team. Oh, he owns a team. Oh, my first move would be put him in goalie. I can leap. Yeah, no, because I was going out of 10. But I'm my vert. I think it's like twenty nine twenty nine.

What's your wingspan? Not very big enough. Six. Six feet. I got long arms considering I'm only five, ten, eight. But yeah, all things considering, I think. Maybe you could get your fingertips on one. Maybe. OK. Oh, I'll take that. Here's here's the moral of it. Here's something good for PFT.

Why is it seem like most soccer players are shorter? Like it's a short person's game. Is it a short person's game? I feel like I'm really short. And I don't feel like I don't understand why are there no six, six soccer players? Yeah, that's a great question. I feel you about it. Jump up and do headers, but maybe I'm way wrong.

So they do like a lot of defenders are a little bit taller. But the shorter guys, you take long strides, you can't dribble the ball as much to sacrifice control. That's true. That's my theory. That's a good point. I'm going to run with that. What's your favorite method of recovering from an injury? Is it the sponge that's soaking in the bucket of water? Or is it the ice spray that doesn't do anything?

Or is it the KT tape? Yeah, I actually love the KT tape. Did you mean to do that? Because that's what she's plugging. Oh, the KT tape. Of course. Yeah, I just I love it when they bring the bucket with a sponge in it out of the field. Some guys just like suffered a severe knee injury and they put the sponge on his leg. He's like, oh, perfect.

And then they're like ready to go on the KT tape. Now the KT tape will actually fix it. Yeah. Yeah, I actually don't do that spray stuff. I do do the KT tape helps keep I tore my hamstring like a year and a half ago. Yeah, I broke my foot. It wasn't fun, but the KT tape was great. I feel like it kind of gives me a little extra boost on the field. Can you just put it anywhere on your butt?

Like I have a bad back. Kind of put KT tape just to walk. Go ahead. I've gotten fat recently. Can I just put it like on my stomach? It's magical. I'll try. Yeah, I'll get back to you and let you know how that works. Did you bring any of it?

We do have some of it. Oh, yeah, nice. I'm going to get some after this. I will definitely try out the KT tape. Do you have to wear those GPS things during the games? That must suck because you can't you can't slack off and get away with it. It more so it doesn't suck. But like in practice, if we don't hit certain numbers,

then we'll have to do extra runs. Yeah, really? Yeah. See, I was really good at at running when the coach was looking at me. And then we turned away and just start walking. Yeah, see, that's probably why I didn't get away with that now. Yeah. When you're walking on the field, though, because that is part of soccer is walking.

Are you ever like, this is kind of nice. I'm just walking. Yeah, sometimes when I'm really tired, I'm like, wow, what a nice break. Yeah. So I don't understand spacing and soccer. Is there ever a time where you're like, fuck it, I'm just going to go off like Kobe and I'm just going to run everywhere? Or do you have to stay in your zone?

No, there's like definitely freedom with what you do. OK, I think you just have to read the game. Got it. So like, all right, if you get yelled at, you ever get yelled at because like, hey, Rose, what the hell was that? You just went off script there. Well, if it was really stupid of me, then yeah. But I feel like most times when people go off script,

there's a like there's a reason they write. There's like something they see. But I like that the part of soccer that's interesting to me is when you're watching it and like someone goes off script and maybe loses their formation. And then like the team will score two minutes later and it's like, yeah, because he went out of position two minutes ago. Yeah, that's definitely happened to me.

Yeah. Oh, it has. Yeah. And they're like, what the hell? Like that was you screwed everything up. Well, yeah, but then the times that it works, it works, you know. That's the Kobe mentality. I like that. And you look really good in film when you're watching that. You're like, you took a chance here and it worked off when you freelance. Like Patrick Willis used to do that a lot.

He had a nose for the ball. Yes. And so when he'd do it, he'd be right. I got a question about the video review system that they just made. That seems like it's it's really gone off in a direction that nobody really anticipated. Like they're taking goals off the scoreboard now, you know, like 30 seconds a minute after they're scored. Have you noticed a difference?

Like, does that annoy you if plays slowed down because of the VR system? Well, so we haven't actually like experienced ourselves yet. It will be in the World Cup, which will be super nice, but I haven't had a game where that's been implemented. But no, I think it'll be great because I feel like P.K. calls like will change the game. Yeah. And like have changed the game before. So I think it's like nice now that you have something that can review it

and like make sure it was or wasn't a P.K. And then at the same time, it's also like got to be careful in the box because you can go back and get you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever got a red card? No. So here's a soft get a red card in the first game, establish a little bit of a bad girl's street cred.

Yeah. People like don't fuck with Rose. Yeah. And then I can't play the next game. Oh, is that perfect? Oh, yeah. It's next game. Shit. All right. Don't do what I said in the very first game. Yeah. That way you can come back and you'll have fresh legs for the quarterfinals. Yeah. I like that. I love it.

Impact. Yeah. Do you have an EPL team? I've been cheering for Liverpool recently. OK, that's convenient. What are the top of the table? Real convenient, isn't it? Interesting. OK, got it. You're a badger. I'm a badger.

Why don't we just talk about how awesome it is to be a badger? Oh, my God. OK, I love this. Yeah, it's the best. Did you win a lot of games? And we we did win a decent amount of games. Did we win any big 10 championships? We did. My sophomore and junior year. That's yeah, I need to update the standing so I can let everyone know we won a lot.

Who did we beat the shit out of? Like, did we beat Ohio State? We beat Ohio State, yeah. Good. Good. Yeah. Who is who is it? Yeah, I hate Michigan too. Michigan is the worst. They think they're better than everyone.

It must have sucked, though, playing in Madison in, like, I don't know, March, April. We actually had my sophomore year, one of our NCAA games. We were playing and it was like torrential snow poor. Yeah, we were playing in like three inches of snow and they had to shovel the lines at halftime. That's ridiculous. Yeah, I can't imagine playing a spring sport in Madison. Yeah, well, this was a fall sport, but a fall sport.

Wait, is it spring soccer? It's fall depends on where you are in college. College. Oh, fuck. I fucked that up. Why don't I think it was spring? I don't know. It seems like a spring sport. It does, doesn't it? I remember that we the U.S.

It's not great either. Weather wise, so it works. The U.S. Men's Team played a game against Costa Rica one time in like six inches of snow. I actually this is not soccer. Yeah, this is nobody can pass the ball. My problem with soccer is that I just never know like the season starts and ends. Like the EPL starts in August and goes all the way till May.

I just never really in tournaments all the time. 24 seven soccer. Yeah, I mean, listen, it is great, but it feels like we need to get a little bit more on the same page as a country of when soccer season is. We're very dumb. Right. If you can't figure that out. We're trying to sell the sport.

You mean you two are. No, no, we are the perfect like, you know, a embodiment of, I would say, a regular sports fan that likes soccer, but doesn't fully understand it. You know what I mean? Yeah, I enjoy it. Yeah. A lot of times I'm watching being like, why aren't people scoring? Like, why don't you kick from like 30 feet out or 30 yards out meters? Like, you should just kick that and score.

Just score. Yeah, I never understood that. It's like no one's around you. Just fucking kick it in the goal here. Yeah. But then I realized it's probably a lot harder than it looks. Yeah. I mean, you probably do it. You own a team.

Yes, she's learning. Yeah. So when when the refs bring out the spray, I assume that you like the new spray thing where it's us. No, there's a different spray. Soccer spray, the spray where the wall kicks. Yeah, where the wall can't inch closer to the ball anymore. You probably like that a lot, right? Um, I mean, yeah, I guess it's a good marker for you.

Like if you're taking the kick, it's like I can bend it around these guys. But if they if it was five years ago, they would creep up where it was five yards away from me and cut down the angle on me. Yeah. Yeah. So you've done a lot of interviews. Are we the dumbest? Are we the dumbest interview people you've had today? No, no, no.

What are the other questions they've been asking? Similar. They they also have been asking me about the foam spread. Yeah. Yeah. OK, shit. Well, then I guess we're not. What's the best question you've been asked today by anybody? The best question is a trick we do.

Then you say it and then we cut it and then we reask it. Oh, yeah. This person never going to air the best question. Probably something about my dog. How's your dog doing? Oh, is your dog single? I'm a minister so I can marry your dog to somebody. Oh, what's your dog's name?

Wilma Wilma. That's a great name for a bulldog. I think actually it's kind of a cheat code. People get bulldogs because bulldog names are so much easier and they're always great. You just get a bulldog, you name it George and you're like, that's fucking awesome. Yeah, that's a good point.

It's kind of a cheat. No, you have to be smart without you name your bulldog. It can't be something lame like. No, it's got to be a fat name. No, I mean, I'm serious. It doesn't have to be. Wilma is a fat name. Give me an example of a bad name for a bulldog.

Like, Steve. It's no great that way. Steve is good. Steve is good. Because bulldogs are like this. Minnie. Sarah. Minnie?

No, Minnie's great name for a bulldog. Are you kidding me? That's Minnie. Minnie, that's funny. That's funny, yeah. Biggie Smalls kind of thing. I want someone to tell me the name of the bulldog and maybe be like, oh my god.

Rebecca. Oh my god, I love that. You say this is not fair. I love it. Bulldog owners cheat because if you see a bulldog and you just say the name, you're like, that's awesome. It's bullshit. Chester.

Chester. Chester's great name. Yes. Yes. Oh my gosh. I know a bulldog named Walter. Oh my god. Great name.

I feel like that's a classic bulldog. Yeah, Walter Winston. Yeah, Winston. Leroy. That's just a great name for a dog. I have a dog named Leroy. All right, I got one last. What's up one last question?

It's a Seekie question. You put in promo code, take your $10 off. 10 euros. The France on your quid. Yeah, 10. 10 quid. 10 euros off to go see the US women's team play in France this summer.

Cool. Seekie. I think they have Seekie in France. I don't know. All right, this is a terrible transition. Can you actually, though, just say real quick, I guarantee that we win the World Cup? I really don't want to jinx anything.

I'm superstitious. Where are the games all in France, or is it another country too? No, it's all France. Just different cities. That's awesome. Do you know where your first games are? Where are you guys going to be located?

Like, where's the camp? That's a great question. Oh, you haven't even made the team yet, have you? It'll get announced this week. Oh, OK. Best of luck. Yikes. This is trying to play the German team in Normandy.

No, I actually looked it up before, and you were under the virtual lock category. Thank God. Yeah, there was locks. Don't let me know. There's virtual locks, and there's maybes, then there were probably nots. Wow.

So you were virtual lock. Well, thank God he told me that. I feel a little more secure now. My last actual soccer-related question, as a relative newcomer to the team, as one of the younger players, how do you go about trying to break into that lineup to get some playing time like in practice?

Are you separated mostly to you've got the starters, and then you've got some of the newer players? And you have to really show out on the B squad, for lack of a better term? Or how do you get that crack at the top level? Yeah, I mean, I think it's such a deep team, and there's such a big talent pool. And I think every practice is super competitive,

so it's kind of like what you're bringing during practice. And if you're making the most of the opportunities you get if you go in the game, too, I think a lot of things play into it. Yeah, who are your friends on the team? Sonnet, Sam, Lindsey, Mal, Andy Sullivan. Who's your enemies? I have no enemies.

No enemies? She said it's hyper competitive. That's smart. Who is the smartest? Who is the smartest? You are a badger. Who's the fiercest competitor on the team? Kelly O'Hara and Sonnet are both very competitive.

They go for it. Yeah, they go for it. Like that. They're the people you look to when the cars go down, and you're like, all right, let's go. Yeah, Sonnet's kind of psycho. Love that. Who's the enforcer on the team?

The enforcer, what do you mean by that? When Thailand starts coming at your knees. Yeah, when Marx is flopping out there and you need somebody to scream in her face. JJ's like the ankle, like she's going to tackle the- She's taking it all. And the ball. And the ball.

Ball first. Watch out for JJ. Don't even try to beat her. Don't even try. I was going to. No, I'm not. Yeah, don't even bother. Not even you.

You own a team, but don't even try. Yeah, I won't. Maybe I'll sign her. All right, last question. Say where you like to shoot your penalty kicks and then do it reverse where you actually do it. So that way when Thailand and Sweden and all of these people listen to this podcast,

they think they got the book out on you, but they don't. You love to kick it right at the goalie. Right at the goalie. Every time. No matter what, over the goal or right at the goalie, you don't even have to move when Rose is getting up there for the PK. Yeah.

Perfect. Oh, I do have one last question. This is our trick, by the way. We just say we have one last question. We just keep going. It's, yeah. Where does the hand start for a handball? Like, is this a handball on my shoulder?

Is this a handball? I feel like honestly, it's at the discretion of the ref. Or the robots now. Are these French refs? They'll be from all over the place. Okay. Yeah. I know.

Remember that when they had the Olympics and the ice skating and wasn't it the French refs, like through the whole thing? The Russian judge. The Russian judges. But wasn't the French ref like part of it? That was the Canadian thing, right? Yeah. The Canadians one.

Just watch out for the French refs. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. Just watch out for the French refs. I don't trust them. All right. We incompetent. That was the last question.

Thank you so much for coming in. Appreciate it. Beselok. Thank you. Guaranteed victory. You heard it here first. You heard it here first. Guaranteed victory.

I'll let you guys say that. Beselok though, this will be a lot of fun. We're very excited for the World Cup. And to gamble on you. Yeah. Perfect. Yes. Hope I make you some money.

Thank you. Thanks. That interview with Rose Lavelle was brought to you by Roman Swipes. Most guys have tried different ways to last longer, but thinking about baseball doesn't always work. The folks at Roman and Online Men's Health Company are changing the game with Roman Swipes the secret

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They are the featured team this year. Featured team. I'm excited, you're excited. Real sex Hard Knocks. It is going to be something else to watch. There are so many characters, so we're going to just talk about some of the storylines we expect from Hard Knocks.

This season, you wanna start? I'll go first. I am very excited to see both John Gruden and Mark Davis getting a haircut. Possibly just cutting each other's hair at the same time. Like the 69 equivalent of haircuts. You know, like maybe a nice James Brown song underneath and they do that cool thing where Lee Shriver hops

and he's like, these two brothers have been getting their hair cut together for the last 30 years. That's Mark Davis and John Gruden. There's some butter knives just swiping madly at each other's heads. I'm excited for Tom Cable to fight someone probably Richie and Cognito on the offensive line. That's definitely gonna happen. That's 100% gonna.

Have you ever looked at Tom Cable in his offensive line ratings? Oh, yeah. He's a really bad coach. When he was with the Seahawks, he didn't even, his way of not having a bad offensive line was to take players that didn't play offensive line and then try to teach them how to block.

And fight him. And fight him, yeah. Punched the biggest motherfucker in the room. Yeah, he is a very bad coach. I remember when he was on the Raiders a while back, then he punched. Yeah. Did he punch Hugh Jackson?

He punched one of the members of the coaching staff. He punched one of the players, yeah. I can't remember, but he's a very bad coach and he also will be great hard knocks fodder because he basically has a job simply, people are scared of him. Yep. That's really it.

His job is to be a football guy. Yeah. I'm looking forward to the montage of the new stadium built in Las Vegas. Yeah, that's good. So if you like stadium montages where they're changing from hockey to basketball and back to hockey,

a brand new stadium from the ground up is going to just give me six to midnight in my pants. Yes, that's going to be good. I'm very excited to see Antonio Brown and Derek Carr have an awkward relationship where they try to convince everyone they're actually friends when they really aren't. And then throw in the mixed John Gruden

also hating Derek Carr. And not knowing what to do with Antonio Brown. Not understanding Antonio Brown because he's insane. And so he's going to show up with that gold milk mustache. Like he's been chugging paint like he's an offensive lineman at a hockey game. Yeah, a lot of new rookies too.

So there's going to be a lot of rookie storylines. Alec Engel. One of them probably just got married or is engaged and we'll get one of those scenes where they always are like, you know, they're just trying to figure it out in this new city. I was looking at the list of players

of the undrafted free agents on Big If True yesterday. There is Alec Engel, the full back from Wisconsin. Finalist for the low man trophy. Gruden is going to love him. Gruden is going to find a way to get that guy playing time somehow. And then there was some guy who was, he was already a senior.

So it means that he's got a kid and hard knocks cameras love and undrafted free agent with a child. And they always get cut. Yeah. They always get cut. I hope he doesn't. We're also going to see Deuce Gruden

somewhere in the background. Deuce, hell yeah. At some point, hopefully. And Mike Mayock being, I don't know what Mike Mayock's going to do. Just try not to get yelled at by John Gruden. I think this is- Just hiding from John Gruden in the hallways.

My big prediction from this is people are going to be like, man, John Gruden really does have a good handle on this. We gave him a bad, you know, he's got a bad rap. I don't think that John Gruden's going to allow cameras anywhere. Well, he has to. But I don't know what the rules are, like where he has to allow them.

He's going to fuck up. He's going to- He's going to fuck up. We actually might get a scene where he attacks a camera man. Yeah. There's actually a few people on this roster that will attack a camera man.

For sure. Yeah. Either way, it's going to be- They're going to assign Dennis Rodman. It's the perfect, it's the perfect hard knocks team. Like I didn't know how they would one up from the Browns. This is it.

This is going to be perfect for sure. Yeah. And they do it all in Napa too, which is great. A lot of people are saying that Leroy messed up because he reported it was going to be the Detroit Lions. But what my sources are telling me, and Leroy about this, is that it was going to be the Detroit Lions

and the league got so much blowback. They're like, no, they're a boring team. Nobody wants it to be Detroit, that they decide to switch it up. Oh, that's how inside he is? Yeah. No, he's plugged in. He's plugged in.

Yeah. He's very plugged in. Also, he's having surgery right now as you're listening to this. So boop it. Shout out Leroy, boop. Yeah, one boop, unsubscribe and resubscribe. One boop.

Just for Leroy. For Leroy. All right, we need to talk a little US Open talking golf. Brooks Kepka, our guy, didn't finish great, wore an awesome hat. But most importantly, the course is being a little bit of a, a wussy, a pussy.

Baby back bitch. Yes, maybe. Because the course got run up and down. Many guys under par. I think minus five is leading right now. Not my US Open course. No, the players ran a train on the course. If I'm the course right now,

I'm having a players only meeting tonight. I'm regrouping, maybe like release a pack of wild dogs out there. Let them just tear the place up a little bit. Yeah. It was a record amount of Eagles scored today. What? Disgusting.

Not my US Open. Now they're going to do the thing where they make the pins like way in the back, like right by a bunker and everyone complains about that. But I don't care. I want, I want even par to win my US Open. Or even play.

I want shitty golf. Yeah, I want awful golf. Yeah. I want one guy that figures out how to use the course and the rest of them just like threatening to kill themselves in their own clubs out there. Yeah, some, some, like me, I don't know, Ernie L's or what's the other guy

that everyone fucking hates? People don't hate Ernie L's. Kutcher. No, no, no, no. No, people don't hate Kutcher. His caddies do. Oh, Polter. He would complain about it.

He would definitely complain about it and be like, this is bullshit. The USGA is bullshit. It's a Mickey Mouse course. Right. I like it a lot better when we're playing over in Scotland where the greens are made out of sand. Yeah.

So there would definitely be some foreign guy would definitely complain and be like, well, the course is too hard. That's what I want for the US Open. I like my, my golf link style where it's just wheat everywhere and bunkers that you could fill with radioactive waste and not discover for another 20 years. Recurring guests, Ricky Fowler is in the lead, right?

Yes. Wow. That's true. Could Ricky win, win his first major? So I have a theory of how they can improve the course, especially if it's in Northern California. Humboldt County is right next door. Get some of those farmers to come over,

set a fescue, plant a bunch of cannabis, a bunch of hemp. I don't know how to do that. I'd be tough to whack your way out of that. Yeah. I also, this like showing like the deer running around, those are fake deer. They're just fucking putting the deer in there. Right.

There was a deer literally running like down the, like there's no chance. I've been to a, I've been to two US Opens. There's just so many people. Deer don't just run around. No, are you saying that they're at an CGI deer? No, I'm saying that they're animatronic in a deer suit. No, I'm saying a guy's standing on the beach

with a big fucking truck of deer and just letting them loose. I don't mind that, actually. That's all that's happening. I don't mind that. Yeah. I would say bring more deer. Bring some gators out. Yeah.

It's not golf until a gator gets involved. Gators, maybe get a couple of whales to jump up in the ocean right there. I'm sure they'll do some shit like that. Well, they did have dogs on the beach next to like the 17th hole. That was sick. That was pretty cool.

I just, I want to see it all coming down to like the 17th, 18th hole on Sunday afternoon. Brooks is trying to putt, and there's just a big great dane taking a huge shit on the beach in the background. And like some, some naked fat dude with a tiny wiener. And then Joe Buck looks at the dog taking a shit. I have never seen anything more disgusting in my life. Oh my God, people, Lambo are shocked.

All right, before we get licensed to Jill, quickly, we need to introduce something that we're going to bring around for football season. But explain to people, because it took over Twitter for basically half the day today. Yeah, so Big Cat and I got tagged in a tweet this morning. And it was from a listener at NadsNotNerbs, award-winning listener.

And he was taking over a desk from a co-worker who had retired and going through some of the old paperwork that was being left behind. And he stumbled across a three by five index guard. No big deal. Some people take notes on things. He looked at the three by five index card. It was a list of the most random group of quarterbacks

that you could think of. And we love random quarterbacks from the year 2011 to about 2015 with different tally marks next to them. John Skelton and Ryan Lindley. And he tagged us in this and asked us if we could figure out what the common thread was, what this three by five index card could possibly mean. Because I'll read you a couple.

Mark Sanchez, he had three tally marks next to him. Tim Tebow had one. Tom Brady had one. Phillip Rivers had five. Cam Newton had four. John Skelton had one. Sexy Rexie had one. Colin Kaepernick had two.

There was Aaron Rodgers not on the list. Russell Wilson not on the list. Alex Smith not on the list. E.J. Manuel, one tally mark. Andrew Luck, two tally marks. So we were looking at this. I probably spent a good hour and a half just staring at it. I got so far that I was counting.

I counted 65 tally marks. And I was like, well, wait a second. Charles Woodson had 65 interceptions. Maybe that has something to do with it. No, that's not true. Because Peyton Mayings on here once and Charles Woodson picked him off twice. And so I couldn't figure out

what the fuck was going on with this thing. I did the, I Googled, literally Googled, what do John Skelton and Phillip Rivers have in common? They're white. I was like, this will figure it out. They're white guys. This will crack the code. I've never won a Super Bowl.

That's how dependent on Google I am. Yeah, so we spent a lot of time thinking about it. Eventually the guy got in touch with his old coworker who retired. And the coworker said that this was a list from a weekly kind of, I don't know what you want to call it. It was a game that they used to play or an award that they used to hand out

just in the office called the Jake. And the Jake Award went out every week to the quarterback that played the worst. So usually it was the most interceptions per week. Now, why was it called the Jake? That's because it was named after Jake DeLome when he threw that four interception playoff game had all those turnovers on his birthday.

That was on Jake DeLome's birthday. So they decided to create an award named the Jake. Bonus points for the quarterback if they fucked up really badly on their own birthday. Then they would automatically win the Jake Award for that week. So I think we have to continue this tradition that has been lost to the ages.

Yeah, we will be giving out the Jake now in the football season every single week and doing a little bit about it. But it is, that is, the reason why I love this is not only because this guy tweeted us and was like, crack this code. And we couldn't, and essentially all everyone that follows us was spent their time

trying to figure this out. But more than that, this is just quintessential, I hate my job, let's come up with something stupid that we can have that's ours for five minutes every Monday. Yes, exactly. And that's the Jake. Exactly, it's like, remember that old ESPN commercial where they play shelf ball?

Yeah. Where they, you bounce a ball into a shelf and one's a single, double, triple homerun. Every office has this like stupid game that you get into to pass the time. Yeah, you know the people, literally the guy would drive into his office Monday morning, probably hated his life, hated everything,

but he knew for five minutes he was gonna get to talk to a couple of his coworkers about the Jake. Give out the Jake this week. Who's getting the Jake? Who's gonna get the Jake tomorrow? Monday night still, we still got Monday night. Someone might not get the Jake. That's right, you have to award it on Tuesday.

There were probably even some side bets going on in the office of who they thought the guy was gonna award the Jake. Yeah, we'll nominate, we will do that. We'll nominate it. Everyone will have to pick a Jake every week and see how many we can get right. Yep.

So that was fantastic. We'll tweet it out again, but it was fucking hilarious. Like just one of those weird quirky things that's very relatable, trying to pass the time with football in the fall. And also just some of the names on this list. Just crack me. Ryan Lindley and John Skelton.

That's all you need right there. Tyler Palco. Tyler Palco was on there. That was, he was one of the keys. It was like, if you can figure out what Tyler Palco, Jake Locker, Josh McCown and Matt Schaub all have in common, then you can figure out what the meaning behind this three by five is.

That's awesome. All right, let's finish up with our intern, Jilly Football. Okay, let's wrap up Friday's show with our intern extraordinaire. Senior intern. Senior intern, not because of her age, but because of her experience.

And she has been lighting up Twitter. She's a phenomenon. How many Twitter followers do you have, Jill? 40,000? That's pretty good. 39,000 maybe, I don't know. That's pretty good, starting from scratch. That's pretty awesome.

My favorite was the lineup of the remotes, trying to figure out how to get the TV to work for Stanley Cup. Yes, thank you. You were able to watch Stanley Cup Game 7. Yes. Very happy that you were able to do that. All right, so Jill, we're gonna do our license

to Jill segment. Before that, you are on Budsman. I can never say that word. I'm Budsman. I'm Budsman. Things that you were not mad about, but disappointed in this week on part of my take. Okay, so you know, boys, I really like you.

Thank you. I really like you too. I like you too. Is it going well? I'm not mad, but I was a little disappointed. Nope, very disappointed. Uh-oh. Last week, my first day on the show,

I shared it with a La Crosse player. Oh, okay. It could have been Zac Efron, but no, La Crosse. Who the fuck cares about La Crosse? This is the shot at Paul Rable. Okay. I'm sorry.

I see, I thought you were gonna be mad that we were talking about Phil Mickelson spinning on his dick. No, let him go. Let's do it at a time, big cat. Paul Rable, so. So you're mad that we made you share with the seventh sport in America?

I do like this though, because we always used to tell Billy football, we don't want this going to your head, Billy. Yeah. With you, I want you to become like just a queen. I want you to, yeah, come in here with like a robe on Boston people. I want a jill hide, like a bay hide.

I want people to just attack, you know, like. Jill stands. Don't come at Jill, yeah. She's a queen. But it's La Crosse. It's not even a real sport. Hey, I'm sorry. You're making facts.

You're sad. I like Paul Rable a lot. Yeah, you were right. Guess what? Tomorrow you'll be sharing a podcast with your favorite sport, which is women's soccer. Oh, NASCAR. Rose LaVell.

Oh, NASCAR. I could go NASCAR, but Rose LaVell, awesome. You've been watching the women's world couple of weeks, so. There you go, we'll make up for it. Yeah. Okay. We're good now?

We're good. We're good. Okay, no longer disappointed. Oh. And you tweeted this out, again, I can't be mad, but disappointed. Were you disappointed in just how accurate we were with the description of Phil Mickelson?

Because I stand by the fact that he just hawks Lugies on his hog when he's boning. And he's like, damn, look at this. But I couldn't follow it. I mean, I didn't, you know. Okay, you probably haven't watched as much porn as we have. What a skittles bit.

Yeah. I'm sorry. That's the part that you got lost at? Yeah. Okay, all right. No, spitting on your dicks. Spitting, you know, what? Filling in the holes or acing the holes.

I mean, I, you know. Whatever. I couldn't follow and I don't think I want to. I'm gonna show you, we're gonna show you skittles bit. Not anything, the skittles. Skittles, skittles. When you get the gross, like, sugary, and it's very sticky and then you just spit

and then you can, it like, like a long, this is terrible. Yeah. Forget it. If you eat a bunch of candy, your saliva becomes like easier to suck back up. So you can do the thing where you drop it all the way down to the ground and then comes back up.

It's gross. You can't spit as easily. We'll do it. We'll make a video of it. Play it still. We'll get some skittles. No, you're gonna be in there. Yeah, you're gonna be in it.

You're gonna have to try it. Actually, Jake, why don't you, Jake Marsh, PMT Sports Biz, why don't you go get us some skittles right now? We'll do this right after this. So Jake is gonna go get, your darling Jake is gonna get us some skittles. Thank you, darling.

And we'll make the video right after this. All right, so let's do license to Jill. Okay, well, we gotta get Jill's phone up. Okay. There she is. Jill, what were you telling me about the voices earlier? Oh, you know, when I listened to you guys on podcast, Yeah.

I can't tell you apart. Oh, interesting. But you know our voices. You know who we are. I'm the white guy that was born in late January. Yeah. Okay. That's how you can tell.

Clean it up. Clean it up. Clean it up. Way up. All right, wait, close your eyes and we'll both say the same thing. Ready? Give me the fucking keys of cocksucker.

Phil Mickelson spitting on his dick. Okay, here we go. That was one of the same. Let's do license to Jill. Okay. What's up, Jill? Who are you rooting for in this year's Blake of the Year? Oh.

I wanna be Blake of the Year. Well, unfortunately you're Jill. So you're already eliminated. But so the people up for Blake Griffin who plays for the Detroit Pistons, Blake Bortles who plays for the Rams and then Brooks Kepka, which is confusing, but he is a Blake who is playing in the U.S. Open right now.

Your phone. Bortles. Okay, that's one for, I mean, they're all fan favorites. He's the returning champion. So a bit of a front running vote on your part. Going for back to back. How do you keep this on?

Yeah, your phone, yeah. We gotta change the power settings. Okay. Hey, Julie football. No one noticed your hairstyle is dangerously close to, may I speak to a manager haircut? Have you ever insisted on to talk to a manager? Interesting.

Good question. Yeah. Do you do that? Oh, when I first got a haircut, I had long hair. Yeah. I had it shorter than yours. I spoke to the manager. What did they gonna do?

Glue it on? Oh, you mean, okay. You spoke to the manager at the hair show. Yeah, so this is different. This is different. This just means like if you're in a service situation, or if you're at a restaurant and things don't go your way. Are you somebody that frequently would say,

may I speak to a manager about the situation? Yeah. No. Okay. I don't do that. Good. I'm all about, no. Okay, you're all about just going with the flow.

Go with the flow, you know, if it's the waiter, it's not their fault probably. It is really just, there are certain people who have that personality trait where they just complain about everything and they're like managers and they're the president of their homeowner association. Oh yeah.

They're the worst. I'm more of a, if I have to talk to a human being, fill out any paperwork, I just don't want the refund. You don't like to talk to people? No, the refund is not worth it. If you make me fill out anything, like forget it. Yeah. It's over, you got me.

Also in homeowner associations, when they're like, oh, you can't paint your door green. Oh, your fence is actually a five, eight, and it's, you know, well, no, I'm not gonna make a joke. Crystal, thank you. I've done the homeowner association. I didn't even make it. I know all that.

I just threw up. No, well, you didn't, you stopped. I didn't, I stopped myself. Because you knew I was five, nine, and that joke wouldn't have made sense. Okay, good boy, yes. If you had to spend an entire day locked in the room with either PFT, Big Cat, or Hank, who would you choose?

This is from Levi. Okay, Levi. Good jeans. Oh, God. Not knowing you well yet. Yeah. Can I pick Liam? Yeah.

Yeah, perfect answer. Sure, Bubba. Yeah, he doesn't, he- Bubba. Bubba is the ultimate go with the flow guy. Because he can continue to film me, and I can dance. Yeah, there you go. Okay.

You guys have become thick as thieves, so I like that. Okay, good answer. Partner in crime. Jill, my mom has been out of the country. She's Bolivian, so she's kind of nuts, but hates tattoos. She gets back in November. Wouldn't you be Bolivian too? Person writing in?

Yes. Yeah, that's a good point. So you only have tattoos on your lower half? Maybe only half. My mom's a Bolivian, she's crazy, okay. She gets back in November, but I've already gotten six tattoos since she left a month ago.

Anything I can say to avoid ass-whooping? Still live with my mom. See, this is tough, so it seems like you kind of wanted to get caught if you went on a tattoo spree like that. Yeah, so what would you do if you were very anti-tattoo and one of your kids got a bunch? Well, they could leave. Okay, that's option one.

That's option one, they could pay rent. What if, now hold on, let me throw a little something else out there for you. What if it's six tattoos and oh, he got a seventh and it just says, I love mom, right on his heart. All is forgiven. Okay, so there you go, there's your answer buddy. Get a mom tattoo.

Yeah, get that, maybe a I love mom in the shape of Bolivia. Perfect. I don't know what Bolivia looks like. Just have La Paz as your nipple. Yeah, there you go. Okay, that's a good, good. That's how I would, if they did get the I love mom.

What's big in Bolivia? I just think of Bolivia as Mike Tyson, fading to Bolivian. Go off into Bolivian. Okay, that's about it. Bolivian. I know they have very dangerous road. Oh, Bolivian marching powder. They have very dangerous roads and cocaine.

Yeah, they have the most dangerous road in the world. So maybe your mom will just be very happy that she survived. Yeah, okay, next one. I'll go for that, yeah. Hey, Jilly, hope you're enjoying your internship so far. How many of the other interns have tried to make a move on you? Good question. And which of the PMT guys needs the most parenting?

Oh, good question. Second question's good. Well, who could? It's gotta be Jake. Jake needs the most parenting. Darling, Jake, yeah. PMT, he's the youngest. But who needs the most parenting?

I think it could be Hank. Yeah, he just turned 26. He just did, he's still a baby. He is still a baby, you know. What do you think Hank could use the most work on as far as becoming an adult? It's his birthday. Yeah, it'd be nice.

That was, that really stopped the train right there. Never mind, alright, do the next question because now you've been neutralized. I would say maybe not skateboarding through the office. Yeah, very dangerous. Oh, is he a skateboarder? Yeah, well just in the office because he doesn't like to walk. Yeah, but I mean, I don't blame him.

You should actually call the police on Hank when he's skateboarding the office or he can make a meme out of you. Oh, there you go, yeah. That'd be cool. Okay, we'll do. Longboard Becky. See, I'm not into that.

I'm going with that. Okay, we'll explain that later after the skittle spit. Sup, Julie football, MPMT boys. I'm going to Chicago this weekend for a deaden company show at Wigley with my dad. Nice. And I've never done, talked about doing. He's going to talk about an ass in a mushroom.

LSD. Oh, LSD. That wasn't a marijuana call-in. Around my father. Yeah. And I'm someone afraid to. Yeah. But I love tripping and in a weird spot.

What a conundrum. I love to trip my balls off. I love, damn, I think I'm going to be freaked out by my dad. I love to hallucinate. Not sure how to do this in front of my dad so that I don't freak out. I'd say take it easy. Maybe like a few mushroom caps.

Maybe don't go all out because I feel like tripping with your parents might be weird. Well, offer dad some of the gummies. Yeah. The edibles. The edibles. So start out with some weed. Get the cookies and work it out.

I agree with that. If you do LSD with your parents, you might have an, your ceiling is having not a bad time. Right. Your basement, your floor is freaking out and irreparably damaging your relationship with your parents. Right.

That's going to be something we don't talk about forever. Yes. Yeah. The time you trip balls at Wrigley. Irreparably. Yeah. So you got to ease dad into it. Ease dad into it.

Ease dad into it. Or if you are maybe staying at the new hotel across from Wrigley, you can just trip your balls off knowing that you could just go back to your hotel room. There you go. In any moment. Because that's actually like the fail state. And will dad notice?

Yeah, I think wouldn't you say all parents know? Like when you think that you got one over your parents growing up when you were high or drunk, you like, oh man, I got, they didn't know. They know, right? You knew. We know. Yeah, you know.

What about when your kids nowadays come home and they're a little inebriated? Can you always tell? Well, you're getting hammered with them, right? You're sheeshing up. Yeah, you're getting sheeshed up. Julie gets sheeshed up. Sheeshed off the vino.

Yeah, you sheesh. Oh, I do sheesh. I love it. OK, yeah, next one. Oh, he locked out again. That damn phone. I know you need to teach me. Blake at the year competitor Brooks

kept it just chipped in for another birdie. Nice. Why are nonstick pans never actually nonstick? Good question. That is a good question. Because you use the wrong utensils in them. There you go. Perfect.

Yes. Great. That's a real answer. Scrape off the. You use a real fork instead of the plastic spoons or wooden stuff. So you're not supposed to use the metal on the nonstick. Now, what about cast iron? Because I'm told that cast iron is the best way

to cook everything. That's a real cooker's cook. Yeah, but you have to massage it with calf oil, like how he longed in that movie, Little Giants to His Son's Cabs, in order to make it work right. Like, how do you get a cast iron to act to perform like a good cast iron? You talk to it.

Just slap it around a little bit. Yeah, you just let it know who's boss. Yeah, you skittle spit on it. Yeah, you skittle spit on it. Yeah, you skittle spit on it. Yeah, yeah. That's right. OK, last one.

If I can get there. Here we go. OK. I'm just going to pick one. OK. Like I was saying. Hey, Jill, if you had the opportunity, would you rather go 50 years back in time

to redo some things from your past? Oh. Or would you go forward 50 years into the future? To be dead? To see what the flames should look like. No, no, no, no, my bad. I will be dead in 50 years. Yeah, you will.

You never, you never know. Let's do it. No, 119 is the new 110. Listen, Jill. I believe in you. I'm not going to be alive in 50 years. You're healthy as a horse. Well, yeah, we're definitely not going to.

84? So would you want to? No chance. No, regrets. I've had a few, so I'm not going to go back. You know, I had. Sing it, Frank. Woo-hoo, yes.

But then again, two feet of mention. OK. Anyway, I'd go ahead. You'd go ahead. See what the future's like? Future's like, you know, like back to the future. Wait, so OK, so this is actually a fun hypothetical. You go 50 years ahead, but you stay the same age.

Would you want to do that? I would not. You wouldn't. No, because the earth's going to blow up. I wouldn't want to be 34 when the earth's going to blow up. I think it'd be pretty cool to be young while the earth blows up. I don't know. You can run away faster from it.

It's going to suck in 50. In 50 years, the world's going to suck. No, you're going to want to be able to swim in 50 years. Yeah. Right now, me and you, we're both great swimmers. That's true. But I just think it's going to be too hot. There's going to be.

It's going to be a shit show. I'll have a kayak. Everyone's going to move to. Do you have a good plan? I love to kayak. Ocean kayaking is great. Where do you kayak the East River? In the pond in Rhode Island.

Oh, OK. Nice. Like, we're supposed to know where that is. The pond in Rhode Island. Wait, is that a pond in Rhode Island? Is that Walden? Is that where Thoreau wrote his thing? It's a pond.

That's where Thoreau stayed for a year to jack off and pretend he was doing a great psychological experiment. It's not too far from Taylor Swift's house. Oh, OK. Also, you and the artist formerly known as Billy football, you guys both vacationed in Rhode Island. Yes. Wow.

That's what we should get you guys in a double kayak someday. OK. How's your kayaking? Do you know how to do a roll? If you tip over, do you know how to tip yourself back? That, well, I've never done it, so. Do you wear a skirt? Do you wear the spray skirt?

No. Oh, OK. Well, you're not real happy. If you tip over, do you know how to do the thing where you somersault out of the kayak so you don't have to worry about flipping it back over? Yes. OK, good.

Got it. I've done that. What's your paddle situation? Fiberglass? We're talking how much weight you think? I don't know the weight. How many knots are you pulling out there? You got a rudder on that thing?

You're asking too many questions. Seven, eight knots. Yes. OK, good. Damn. Here's your, you get maybe a two. I can haul ass. Yeah, there you go.

That's perfect. All right, Jilly. Jilly football, thank you. Another great week. We'll try not to disappoint you next week. Thank you, boys. Second week in the book, do you think? I feel like you're getting your flow.

You show up with a big smile. You go around, ask people questions. You sat on the edge of the couch for two hours today watching Women's World Cup. And just enjoying, like, you're kind of just hanging out. Yeah, just hanging out. I do have a question for you. Out of everybody that you've met in the office,

besides, we'll see, besides the interns and besides us here on part of my take, who do you think is the most delightful? Ooh. That's hard, since I don't remember names. Yeah, you've been delighted a lot, though. I've noticed that. Describe them.

Well, you've got to come on. Ebony. Yeah, OK, that's a good answer. Good answer. Always greets you with a smile on her face. Good answer. Unless you're not supposed to be there, in which case she will beat the shit out of you.

Stun gun. She has her stun gun, so be careful. Don't get on the wrong side of her. And I'll never take any of those things off the shelves. Yeah, exactly. All right, chili football. Thank you. Thanks, guys.

Yeah, see you. That was great. Bye. Love you guys. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh On me, take on me, take me on